#I love how different popular games are toxic in different unique ways

[dotshaft]

Coming from MTG pretty much every YGO deck these days would be called a combo/control deck, but also YGO players actually can't understand how toxic combo/control single player solitaire gameplay can get with unlimited field size.

[annebaby]

National Anthem ♡

hello all! this is my first multi-part fic, and I hope you like it! part two will be posted very soon :)

part two!

part three!

warnings: toxic snow, bribery, fem!reader x young!coriolanus snow, use of Y/N, that's it for this chapter!

I hope you enjoy! this is national anthem ♡

The capitol streets were bustling with the obnoxiously ignorant, blind-sighted chatter about the games this year. People in all the most unnecessary of extravagant clothing, smiling, laughing, and celebrating death. It was sickening, truly. Hearing them talk about their favorite tributes and the gruesome details of their death made you want to rip all your hair out. 

Surprisingly, you were not a stranger to this life. Born a capitol brat, you shouldn’t let this get you to your breaking point at all. A senior in the academy this year, you vividly recall the students being mentors in previous years; the thought of helping a child to their death made you want to vomit. 

So, you tried your best to get your single errand for the day done as fast as possible. Your goal: to find a dress for the gala in a few days. Nothing too showy, but not too modest. A dress that screams, ‘I’m pretty, but smart. I am a district doll.’ As the President’s daughter, appearance and impression were the two most important things drilled into your head. 

Your father, President Stirling, was a new favorite of Panem. His pride for the land, his love for the people, and his goals for the future are what got him elected. He was a very clean-cut man, always showing how much he loved his family. 

You knew better though. He was a cold man, one who hardly showed affection behind closed doors, a man who had spoken very rarely to his daughter. You didn’t really know much about him, always locked in his office and never really caring about you. Unless, it was about your appearances or impressions. 

Scurrying through the mall, you quickly find your go-to dress shop, a more quiet and less popular location. This dress shop has all of the current trends, but they always had something different about them that you loved. You hated capitol fashion, but it was your only option as the most looked upon girl in Panem. At least they all had a unique look to them. 

Entering the store and smelling its sweet fragrance, you hurriedly got to work. Giving every dress you liked to a worker, she put it in the dressing room for you. A common customer, they adored your business. They adored your money. 

Dress after dress, you had finally found a winner. A thin-strapped velvet dress with jewels adorning it in a beautiful pattern. It was a deep red, floor-length dress. Happy with the way it adorned your body, you took it off and handed it to the shop worker. Swiping Daddy’s credit card, you smiled at the workers and thanked them sincerely for their help. They handed you the dress across the counter and you started to make your way home. 

Navigating the large mall, there were people everywhere. You did your best to hide your face, sunglasses and all. The President’s daughter was always known as the Princess of Panem, a girl that the younger children looked up to. It was hard to be unnoticed. 

Swerving and dodging people to the best you could, you made it outside at last. Unfortunately, your presence had become known and now none other than Lucky Flickerman was awaiting you outside. Probably one of your least favorite capitol citizens, always pushing you for personal answers to appeal to the audience. 

Trying your best to spot your driver without being noticed, you see the blacked out SUV parked right down the street. It was a different car that dropped you off, but this SUV was still branded with the President’s logo. You open the doors to exit the mall, and Lucky Flickerman is already on you. 

“Is that the anticipated gown for the Gala, Ms. Stirling? What color is it? Just a peek? We’d love to see it!” 

By the time he was done getting his jumble of questions out, you had already reached the SUV. Opening the passenger door, you quickly threw the dress in the back. However, you noticed your driver was a different man than usual. 

“Coriolanus? Did my dad send you as my driver?” You took the sunglasses off your face, confusion taking over as you awaited his answer. 

Coriolanus Snow was your father’s newest intern. A charming man, certainly. He was handsome, smart, and cunning. You had a schoolgirl crush on him since he started working for your family, but you pushed it to the side. You didn’t want to be just another nuclear wife with a nuclear family in the capitol. You just weren’t ready to accept your inevitable fate. 

“Yes. The other driver wasn’t aware he was supposed to wait for you, and he returned home,” Coriolanus says. He puts the vehicle in gear and begins to take you both back to your estate. 

“Oh, that’s odd. He’s never done that before,” you say. He was a nice man, you had actually gotten on with him quite well. You weren’t sure where communication went wrong. 

“Yeah. He was fired immediately after he stepped in the door.” Coriolanus doesn’t look at you, just keeps his gaze on the road ahead of him. 

You didn’t expect much less from your father at all, but still your chest ached for the nice man. After all, he talked to you more than your own father did. 

You looked at Coriolanus for much too long after he said that. You admired his slicked-back blonde hair, his prominent jawline and you took in all of his aura you could. The Snow family had a newfound power in recent years, and boy did he know it. He was dripping in luxury. He carried himself with such seriousness and coldness that it drew you in. 

You broke away from your trance, looking forward at the road as well. It was hard to focus on anything but him when you were around Coriolanus. He too was a capitol brat, one of the worst. He supported the games in all their glory, though he was never too extravagant about it. He’s a few years older than you, meaning he’s seen more of the games. He probably accepted the fact that they were never going to end. 

Stuck in your thoughts once again, you hadn’t even realized you reached your estate that quickly. The car stopped, and Coriolanus opened the door and shut it quietly. He headed to your side of the vehicle and opened your door, holding out his hand for you to grab. Blushing, you smiled and took his hand, slowly exiting the car. He opened the back of the car, retrieved your dress, and you two headed into the house.  “Thank you, Coriolanus. You didn’t have to do all that,” you speak gently. “It’s a part of my job, Y/N,” he says coldly. You wonder if you’ll ever get past his emotionless wall. You enter the house, and Coriolanus hands the dress off to a helper so they can take it to your room. 

“Lovely seeing you today, Miss Y/N,” he says before walking back towards her father’s office. He strides when he walks, hands in his pockets and chin up. You smile to yourself, before heading up to your room.

The next day at the academy was dragging. Excitement bubbled in your stomach for the Gala the next day, and all of the classes were giving you a headache. You didn’t need them anyway - your success was guaranteed thanks to your father. 

As you were finally dismissed from your last class, you gathered your things and headed for the door. Cascading down the stairs, your best friend Bridgette Sinclair joined you. 

Both of you had been friends for years, taking a fancy to each other's' company. She was a shorter girl, with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. A true capitol beauty, you had always thought. She too was born into the power she had, and she too believed all the same as you did. She didn’t act arrogant, never bragged on any of her assets. You loved her like a sister. 

“I say, we go to the park and discuss the Gala tomorrow! I can’t wait to see you there, Y/N.” You giggled with the girl, allowing your teenage personality to peek through. 

“Let’s go to my house instead, I’ll show you my dress!” You smiled and jumped up and down, finally allowing yourself to be true to how excited you were. 

She squealed in response as you waited for your driver. You hoped and prayed it wasn’t Coriolanus, Bridgette would never shut up about it. She knew about your crush, and she wanted you to talk to him so bad. Every time she’d hear about him, see him, or even just think about him, she would always tell you and then laugh at your blush. 

The both of you sit and gossip until the black SUV comes to pick you both up. Fingers crossed behind your back, you open the door with your other hand, and almost roll your eyes. Coriolanus is your driver again, of course. His blue eyes look at you through the rearview mirror as you sit down, not breaking his gaze even when Bridgette sits next to you. 

“Still no new driver I guess, yeah?” You look back at him through the window as he suddenly stops staring. Bridgette laughs and grabs your hand. 

“Uh- yeah no. Not yet. Your father is a particular man,” Coriolanus says, hesitantly. 

He slowly starts to take you both back to the estate, the car ride consisting of awkward stares from Coriolanus as Bridgette pesters you through hushed whispers. You almost feel as if he’s hearing everything she’s saying. You smack her quickly and quietly in hopes she’ll shut up. 

Arriving at the estate, Coriolanus does the same thing as before and opens the car door for you and Bridgette. However, his hand is only offered to you, not her. A strange action for him, you had always known him to be cold but still very polite. You took his hand and exited the vehicle before running into the house with Bridgette, looking back at Coriolanus as a ‘thank you’, before heading inside. 

“Y/N I have got to see your dress. I won’t tell anyone what it looks like, just please show me!” Bridgette plops onto your bed, anticipating your dress like a child on Christmas morning.

 You smile and head into your closet to retrieve the gorgeous gown. Grabbing it off the hanger, you slowly unzip the protective bag off of it. Bridgette’s eyes widen as she gets up to feel the dress, jaw dropped to the ground. She feels the material all in her fingers, gently admiring everything about the highly anticipated gown. 

“Oh my God Y/N. It’s beautiful. I absolutely love it!” She starts smiling widely before getting a mischievous grin on her face. 

“You know who else will love it,” she says, giggling slightly. 

You zip up the dress and hang it back in the closet, getting flustered by Bridgette’s continuous mentioning of Coriolanus. As much as you wished he had noticed you in the same way, you knew it would never happen. You were just like every other girl in the capitol. Nothing special about you. You wished he would see you as something special, but you were sure he didn’t. 

“If you don’t stop mentioning him, I'm going to strangle you, I swear.” You point at her, smiling sternly. She puts her hands up in a ‘it wasn’t me’ motion, before you plop down onto the bed next to her. 

“I really wish he did say something to me, just once you know? He is really handsome,” you admit. You hardly ever opened up about your feelings for him, just felt like getting it off your chest. 

“I know, Y/N. But I'm telling you, in a dress like that, with looks like yours, you won’t go unnoticed. There is simply no way he won’t stare at you tomorrow. And believe me, I noticed him looking at you in the rearview today. And! He only gave his hand to you for help out of the car. That had to mean something!” Bridgette sits up on the bed, you shortly following. She shakes your shoulders and tells you to be more confident in yourself. 

Hours pass by discussing makeup and flirting tips and all the other girly topics you could think of. All in preparation for the gala, of course. You discussed which shoes to wear, which hairstyle would look best, what color lipstick, everything. You knew you would feel pretty tomorrow, just maybe not pretty enough for him. 

Bridgette left after all the discussion, being picked up by her own driver. As you were walking back to your room after taking her to the door, you spot Coriolanus in the hall. He was passing off cash to a man you had never seen before. You quickly hide in the doorframe and try to listen as best you can. The man is short, seems friendly enough. 

‘Maybe a new hire?’ you think to yourself. Then, you’re finally able to pick up their conversation. 

“Just let me pose as the driver for a few more days. I won’t tell Mr. Stirling. Just leave the premises when you’re supposed to pick her up, and return back to the house in however long it would take you to pick her up yourself. Just this last time,” Coriolanus quietly whispers. He’s practically begging the poor man, shoving wads of cash towards him. 

‘Are they talking about me? He wants to drive me around? Is that why he’s been my driver?’ Thoughts are running through your head a mile a minute. So fast, you weren’t able to notice the conversation being over, and Coriolanus now heading your way. 

Too late to try to hide, you slowly start to reveal yourself as if you had just been walking to your room. He spots you immediately, eyes getting wide. You smile at him slightly, before trying to reach the stairs. However, he speeds up and grabs you by the shoulders, pressing you against a nearby wall. 

“Did you hear any of that, Ms. Y/N? Be honest with me.” His eyes piercing into yours, quickly darting from your lips and back up. He looks absolutely insane. 

“I- uh no. I don’t even know what you’re talking about I swear,” you lie. His eyes are scanning your face frantically before he releases you. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N. As I'm sure you’re now aware, I'll be your driver. Be ready at 5. I’ll pick you up.” He slowly stares for just a second before walking away. He’s wearing a long coat, taking long strides. Something about him is so addicting. 

You catch your breath for a second, slowly starting to put the pieces together. He knew you were listening, and now you knew you were correct. He wanted to be your driver and he was bribing the new hire! Oh you couldn’t wait to tell Bridgette about this. 

You hurriedly headed up to your room, changing into your PJs and getting ready for bed. Your mind continuously running on overdrive, you couldn’t seem to focus on anything, except the fact he was taking you to the gala tomorrow. Did he like you?

Getting into your bed, it wasn’t long before you fell asleep, Coriolanus heavy on your mind. 

[aerkame]

I’d like to toss my hat into the ring since that anon brought up AUS. I don’t have any favorites or enjoyment of a lot of them, So here’s a sort list I can think off;

1. A/B/O: It’s just very, very, uncomfortable.

2. Crossovers: 80 or 90% of the time when there’s crossovers, it’s just crossing over for the sake of having your fav characters meet and get up to crazy adventures. There’s no actual reason as to why there crossing over apart from that.

3. mafia: Not a fan as there’s nothing different, but there’s a Mob AU by Clownn (correct me if I spell it wrong,), they put a unique twist by having it be physiological and giving it certain traits to make their AU stand out from the usual Mafia AUs.

4: anesthesia: It’s a pretty cheap way to get characters to fall in love and kinda creepy when you think deeper about how easily bad things can go.

5. Soulmates or Marks: I don’t like the idea of a mark or something telling you who your partner is or who to be with. What if you don’t want a partner tho or not interested in falling in love? Are you allowed to be just friends instead?

I prefer if authors/creators add more unique twist or additional spin on AUs. The down side is, I have seen some pretty unique AUs but they’re not as talked about or popular since it’s not the go to ones that fanbases love.

Ah yeah, A/B/O AUs tend to romanticize toxic relationships a lot from what I usually see. Not liking it is understandable. Ironically though, the whole Alpha, Beta, and Omega stuff that was made by a researcher later discarded his own theory after further study of wolves. (In short, wolves are just large families with mom and dad in charge, the whole A/B/O stuff makes no sense.) So the whole thing is really just made up of disproved theories and is purely fiction.

The others are also understandable. Some of the AUs tend to have repeating themes or they end up being complete copies of each other. The Whole amnesia one is creepy, yeah. I have only ever read 3 fanfictions in my life that did this trope properly and it only really works if the characters knew each other beforehand or they were already in a relationship before it happened.

The soulmate one is kind of okay depending on who is writing it and how it is written. I've seen a handful of very well written soulmate AUs that actually got creative with it, but a lot of the fanfictions for AUs like that just repeat and copy each other a little too much.

To be perfectly honest, I agree that unique AUs are way better because it leaves room for even more AUs to branch off of those one and it also helps other writers get a good idea on how to handle the idea behind it.

My other favorite AU type is one I don't see often but I wish I did, and it's the self-aware ones or the ones where the reader/character ends up in the fictional world of the fandom they're in. My reason for liking those ones is because they can turn into good horror fics or have creepy vibes IF done right. It's like the 4th wall breaking rule in some video games or horror movies. Twilight Zone vibes y'know?

For my own personal Finfolk AU, I did want to add yandere vibes, but not like Wattpad anime fanfiction kind of yandere. I think yandere fics should be taken seriously and treated seriously because of the topics they deal with. I have read so many fanfictions that do it just right where it genuinely scares me and it makes for interesting dynamics between the characters. I haven't gone into full horror with the AU though simply because I'm afraid of people romanticizing what is supposed to be dangerous behavior or dark topics. The finfolk folklore itself is dark when you look into the stories/mythology. I just don't like seeing how often AUs and fanfictions with serious topics get put on a pedestal in a wrong lighting. But, I do plan on eventually trying to go full horror with it at some point. When? I'm not sure yet. Maybe when I have more experience in writing. All I know is that making the characters attractive (that is what finmen/women do regardless in folklore) but obsessive without making it romanticized is going to be difficult.

[everythinggayplay]

GAYming Fandoms

lol i had to its in the nameeeee

tldr: brief overview of gaming culture by going over fan labor/parasociality/twitch&yt from a person that thinks way too much about the content they consume there will be a part 2 where i talk about some negatives from societal change perspective

So for those that don’t know what gaming culture or fandom is -it’s a very all-encompassing genre. Like movies, there are different genres like horror, first-person shooting, action, or satirical ones. A large part of the culture is obviously playing the game, but when Youtube became a profitable platform, “Let’s Plays” became popular and became a significant portion of the Youtube-watching community. “Let’s Plays” is exactly what it sounds like: the viewers are invited to play or watch along as the Youtuber plays the game. I would argue that fans of gaming YouTubers are a fan of a fan. Something I heard that really relates to this is something like a “Legendary Fan” where people become fans of this specific creator and follow them from fandom to fandom like how we see fans of gaming YouTubers follow the YouTuber jump from franchise to franchise. Gaming culture and Let’s Plays became a such big thing around the early 2010s and has become a multi-million dollar industry just including the viewing and playing of games. Youtube recently released a specific “Gaming Trending Page” and platforms like Twitch or Mixer. Let’s players became popular by having someone record their play-throughs of a game, usually split into multiple parts, with a facecam to show their reactions and have commentary throughout the gameplay. THISSSSS is what I love. I think just watching someone play through a game either horror or action or a cozy farming game is just so fun. I remember watching my brother play through Call of Duty or Super Smash Bros and just being like “Wow this guy cannot do shit”. LOL! Later on, instead of having it be recorded in someone’s room with no interaction, this evolved into streaming where a person can do the same thing but be able to interact with an audience (aka chat) rather than speaking into the void. I’ll talk a little about streaming culture later and the type of fan engagement or toxicity that comes on those sites. 

Gaming fans can be fans of the game’s characters and engage with the canon universe and/or they can be fans of certain let’s players. For us at EverythingGayPlays, we both engage with the in-game universe and the let’s play gamers. For fans that engage with the in-game universe, it resembles other media fans of movies or films, where we interact and transform the content to our own whims. Like other created media, it’s open to interpretation which allows for fanart, fanfic, or analysis (oh em geeeeeee what I’m doing :0) On the other hand, fans of Youtubers/Twitch streamers follow typical Real People fans like music artist fans or actors. This also includes fanfic, fanart, funny videos, and screaming on Twitter about future media appearances that kind of thing. Like any other fandom, it can be both toxic and gratifying, but in gaming culture specifically, the toxic side can lead to scary IRL consequences.

Let’s start with the positive sides of gaming fandoms. I would say a rather unique fan type of labor that gaming fans do outside of the typical fan labor fanfic, fanart, or funny videos, are fan games. With the rise of Steam, the “ultimate destination for playing, discussing, and creating games” as their website says, videos games came a long way from cartridges that usually came from Japan (I’m talking about the really popular ones that came from Japan like Super Mario or Sonic). Engines allow fans to create games in similar styles without needing all the technical skills that professional gaming industry pros have. Video games that are inspired by the “source” game can either by recreating the game very similarly but have a different main character or enemies or do a different style of gaming that incorporates the lore or characters of the source. A really popular example of a game that comes to mind when I think of fan games is the entirety of the Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise and gaming sphere. The number of games that I have seen popular Youtubers play that FNAF inspired is insane and just speaks to the level of love and extent that fans will go to engage with their favorite characters. I don’t think I see this level of wide dedication to a certain style of creation and an insane level of skill people learn.

For more of a common fan, labor would be videos, fanfic, and fan art. I think these are quite common so I’m not really going into super detailed explanations of what they are, but I am going to explore how gaming fans kinda use them differently. For fanvids, compilations are quite popular. You know the “ten minutes of [random player] swearing at statues in RE4” set to Wii music which is very labor-intensive to find, clip, edit, and publish ten minutes worth of content. Youtube is full of these compilations. To be honest, I would count the videos that streamers and Youtubers be fanvids as well because they’re creating new content with someone else’s content. But of course, I can’t leave out my favorite type of fanvids, the ones that go into the deep deeeeeep DEEEEEP detail about the lore or recap videos like GameTheory or SuperHorrorBro (or the random 5 hour long videos that pop onto my feed). I love lore and the amount of detail, and explanation of some of the wackiest lores some game devs create, I could not understand it without the help of those types of Youtube channels. Like c’mon it’s a running gag that GameTheory has like a million FNAF videos trying to piece the lore together. Fanfic and fanart kinda go hand in hand with how prevalent they are in a lot of fandoms. Fanfic for the gaming community either delves into RPF or character fics. These are all types of fan labor that keep fandoms running and providing for the fans.

Okay, time to talk about the hellscape that is Twitch. I think Twitch is great and a great evolution from Youtube to really expand the gaming sphere. Twitch really expanded the scope of fan engagement by having the live chat aspect. Before fans were only allowed to engage with the content after the upload, but now fans can change the game, voice their input, talk to their favorite streamers and create a community within the instant. Commenting throughout streams is no small feat, for some, it can be anxiety-inducing even when it’s almost anonymous. Streams usually last several hours to run through the entire game, but some games like one that came out recently God of War last around 20-30 hours. Watching those long, sometimes uneventful, streams are labor-intensive to sit through and comment and pay attention to. Especially if someone is a mod for a streamer (i hope all mods out there ur getting paid if you’re doing long streams). While I hate living under the system, capitalism does run our lives and that includes streamers and Youtubers. Subscriptions or “subs” on Youtube and on Twitch are very different. On Twitch, it’s a paid subscription to a certain streamer where fans can access exclusive content and can use emoticons during streams. On Youtube, it’s a free subscription to the Youtuber that just alerts you to whether they uploaded something. While these are not as intensive as, you know, creating literal games, I think these are a very intriguing part of gaming culture to really understand as fan labor because without viewers, moderators, and paid subscriptions, streamers wouldn’t be able to create their own content and not be able to dedicate as much of their time to their streaming.

Everyone’s favorite topic when talking about the internet and celebrities: parasociality. I feel like the idea of prosociality in terms of celebrities usually is geared towards a specific type of fan: either a crazed tween girl that is obsessed with a conventionally attractive male celebrity or a nerdy, awkward guy that is attracted to a female celebrity. I feel that in terms of gaming culture it’s really different-the so-called celebrities that people cling to are just normal people. Youtube and Twitch, being the main hubs to watch people, open a space for people to interact with their favs. This causes the dynamic of the OG parasocial idea to change to a more modern one. Fans are allowed more access to their favs persona (to succeed on the platform you have to post maybe weekly, sometimes daily; be on all the social media platforms to connect to fans; have dedicated servers or Reddit threads) or if it’s Twitch, that instant gratification if they read your comment. This opens a new category of celebrity (Kreiss). I am a kpop stan so I instantly saw a lot of connections and parallels between how idols are trained to connect to their fans or bring in more fans to the way gaming celebrities are required to maintain success on the platform. Gaming and Kpop celebrities really hone in on what makes them attractive or charismatic to their viewers to maintain that close relationship, fulfilling social needs that they might not get offline. In “Engagement With the Gurus of Gaming Culture: Parasocial Relationships to Let’s Players” they did a study where they asked what parts of the gaming celebrities attracted them the most. It found the main reasons were “entertainability”, “responsiveness”, and “likability” as the main reasons which make a lot of sense. No one is going to want to watch a boring, unlikeable, and stoic persona. They also found that the more someone watches another is strongly correlated with how emotionally engaged they are. In terms of fandom, I feel that’s why a lot of fans go for very loud and extroverted players that upload regularly which fuels the fire that drives fandom behavior.

[demonsfate]

i'm loving this blog so far. jin kazama is one of my most important comfort characters ever since my childhood (alongside guts from berserk and nintendo's cute small overpowered pink puffball kirby), he really means a lot to me. i always found him relatable, more relatable than most of the tekken characters - i was born with something i never asked for and had to learn how to accept it (autism), i suffer from trust issues and low self esteem, and i'm a shy introverted person who loves nature as much as he does (some of my hobbies include walking in the forest, gardening, or collecting sea shells on the beach). i'm pretty sure some people who suffer from dysfunctional families would find him relatable too. other fighting game protags like sol badguy are cool too don't get me wrong. but jin kazama is special to me. which makes looking for tekken content on youtube more painful because some one is almost always gonna make the same "haha emo edgelord/ww3 war criminal" joke for the millionth time. i'm so glad i got to see this blog and some tekken fan content on deviantart/tumblr in general because i finally get to see some wonderful fanart/fanon content of my boy without more constant reminders of his character assassination in tekken 6 which should've never happened. hopefully someday namco will just retcon this stuff by saying jin was brainwashed by azazel (or like you said on this blog devil jin brainwashed him). anyways, i hope you have a wonderful day.

thank youuuu! i'm so glad you feel that way!! honestly!! the funny thing is, i feel like a lotta ppl CAN'T relate to jin because "oh, he doesn't social much" (that was a legit praise ppl had for bloodline - that it "improved" jin because he socialized with the other fighters more often) and "oh he never expresses himself." even though... i think jin can be very relatable - just to certain people, really. and like... even if his personality might not be the "most relatable." he still has other things to relate with (not wanting something he was born with, trying to become better than his toxic family, grieving of a loss one, trying to make the right choice even when it's not so clear)

jin kazama is def my favorite fighting game character, actually - one of my fav characters of all time in general. even though kazuya seems to be more popular than jin (hell, even heihachi might be...) it's just that, jin does indeed feel different. like he's just so unique to me - when depicted correctly, that is lol. we don't talk about tekken 6.

honestly, even though this is "primarily" a RP blog, i consider it a FAN BLOG for jin in general. as i tend to write a lotta posts just regarding his character - regardless if it's a headcanon post, analysis post, or discussion post. i consider my blog to be a "safe haven" for jin fans where we can talk about the character, and enjoy content of him WITHOUT having to see those bad jokes or straight up HATERS everywhere. because my goodness, it really feels like you CAN'T go anywhere without seeing a "but jin started war-". so whenever i get frustrated with that - i just come here to talk about & appreciate the character. therefore, i'd want that for other jin fans, too!!

that's why, even though a lotta RP blogs don't like personals / NonRP blogs following them, i HIGHLY ENCOURAGE personals to come interact with this blog! to follow, and talk, and send messages! i really love getting to talk with other jin fans where i don't have to deal with the constant anti jokes or hate.

the only time i bring up tek6 or whateves, is to CRITICIZE it, demonstrate how it could've been executed BETTER, and to prove that jin is SO out of character in that game, he's not even the same jin we all love!

i was hoping bamco would retcon it... but seeing as tekken 8 technically DOUBLED DOWN on it? yeahhh... the only way i'm seeing it being "retconned" is if tekken, as a series itself, gets rebooted. sadly, the whole devil [jin] was in control thing will never be the retcon just because uhhh... it seemed tekken 8 has retconned the devil gene into not actually being a "bad thing" - but instead, just a reflection of how the user decides to wield it. as APPARENTLY devil [jin] has been "protecting" jin all this time. 🙄 so like... if devil jin only lashed out because jin was rejecting himself / his "sins" - then i don't see them making devil [jin] responsible for the war. which is lame, because i really enjoy my own take on that & tek6. oh well...! they still could've gone with azazel brainwashing jin, tho... they SHOULD'VE gone with that. (then again, imo, they shouldn't have made devil [jin] a good guy either... at least, NOT in the way they approached it. not in the "ACTUALLY. he was good all along" )

anyway, enough of my rambling. xD i hope you have a good day too!!

[elendsessor]

this is kinda funny to me but it’s ironic how the digital devil saga duology is often considered the forgotten atlus rpg by video titles and thumbnails and yet i still see it talked about significantly more than any of the other more niche megaten titles.

is dds underrated? yes in comparison to a lot of jrpgs including ones on the ps2, but i think being deemed niche and a masterpiece made it relatively more popular lol, at least in comparison to other smaller mainline spin offs. it’s still one of the most talked about megaten games that aren’t persona which isn’t a bad thing!! dds is a great and unique duology and a lot of the franchise has been overshadowed by modernsona + the toxic elitism the vocal part of the fanbase has continued to drive a lot of potential fans away, so it being relatively well known in the niche side of a fandom is nice and refreshing. however, i think it grew out of the forgotten/underrated label, which also gives it so much potential as a gateway.

i think the action games are way more overlooked (maken x (technically not megaten but it’s often associated with the series so it gets a mention) and devil summoner raidou kuzunoha) probably because they’re not turn based rpgs and the latter’s an action rpg (a genre that didn’t really get big until a bit more recently thanks to square enix and games like genshin impact). it’s a real shame since action games also were rampant on the ps2 thanks to titles such as devil may cry so some of the greats were heavily overshadowed. nobody talks about the raidou games unless it’s about raidou’s inclusion in other games i stg. tumblr’s the one place where i’ve seen recognition along with really small art accounts scattered across other social medias. i don’t think both games being vastly different than how megaten games normally play helps (and maybe the historical fiction angle ik not everyone’s a fan). this isn’t even to account for stuff like devil survivor or majin tensei or fuckin demikids.

i love how experimental the franchise used to be. it doesn’t get that way anymore i feel, with smt 5 being the most creative game in awhile if only from a gameplay standpoint. sega buying out atlus definitely marked the end of as much experimentation because sega’s significantly more corporate and their influence shows. persona’s a fantastic gateway into the rest of the franchise mainly due to how marketable it is as well as the stylization, and dds feels like the second best way to ease someone in due to the character focus balancing with the religious and philosophical themes, so i’m hoping the dds recognition also gets more people interested in other entries because this is actually one of the most influential and interesting game franchises i’ve ever seen and i think every side of it should be given more love. maybe that’ll influence more experimentation. who knows.

meanwhile the chad last bible enjoyers have been dying in a ditch for years despite it being possibly the biggest megaten spin off in terms of quantity of titles and ports, only able to live off the vids made by marsh. it’s actually really tragic. donate to your local charity and help save a last bible enjoyer’s life today.

[if-one-of-us-falls]

reverse unpopular opinion meme abt the knife of never letting gooo specifically the first book. or you know what pick any one of the three books

We're going to be here a while 😅

The Knife of Never Letting Go was a revolutionary book for me in many ways. I read it for the first time when I was 12, and ten years later at 22 I still love it just as much, and still feel the influence it had on my tastes and standards in media and on my own writing.

These are the reasons I come up with when I try to break down why it had such a lasting effect:

1. It's incredibly gripping.

I remember picking it up at a convention, spending the rest of that con reading it on the stairs, almost missing the train home because I was reading it on the floor of the platform, getting home and reading until I cried myself to sleep after that scene, then reaching for the book as soon as I woke up. No book has ever gripped me this way. The book that came the closest at this point was The Hunger Games, but Chaos Walking felt like a whole different level. The Ask and the Answer was the first book I ever read in English, because I couldn't bear waiting for the translation.

Knife is so un-put-down-able for 2 main reasons: the writing style, which I'll cover next, and the perfectly paced plot. It's cliffhanger after cliffhanger but never in a cheap way. Todd never gets a break and neither does the reader, and that makes the few quiet moments even more powerful. This relentless plot structure that literally never stops running works because with all of Todd's faults, you can't help but sympathise and become emotionally invested in him. He is just as confused and overwhelmed as you are.

2. The writing style is so unique

A lot of people say it took them some time to get used to the writing style, and I get why, but for me it was love at first sight.

Patrick Ness intentionally and masterfully broke every rule he could. By doing that, he tailored the perfect writing voice for the character and story he was trying to tell. It's chaos and it's poetry. It's a big overwhelming mess but every coma is exactly where it's supposed to be. I still get blown away by how beautiful the writing is in every reread I do.

The... Creative use of different fonts looks like a gimmick at first glance, but it conveys the concept of Noise very effectively. And I love the way Ness uses em-dashes —

And keeps using them —

And uses them until you're out of breath—

(and even parentheses sometimes.)

(shut up.)

It's like he invented a whole new language designed to keep you exactly in pace with Todd's consciousness as he experiences the story. It's an amplified version of the first person present tense that was so popular in YA when Knife came out, utilised to the maximum.

This sense of immediacy in conjunction with Todd's voice, complete with the intentionally misspelled words and the simplicity and honesty of the way he speaks and thinks, and the layers of vulnerability that show through his facade of trying to be a "man" — I don't think I've ever read a book that accomplishes so much just with prose. I feel like I could study it forever.

3. This book gets what it's like to be a teenager.

Or a young person, for that matter. It's about discovering the horrors of the world, and the good of it. It's about finding out there's more to the picture than the little bubble you grew up in lead you to believe and how hard it is to accept and how vulnerable and overwhelmed and watched it makes you feel. It's about feeling everything all the time even when you just want to disappear and stop caring.

It's about the power of caring anyway.

4. It doesn't shy away from complexity

No one is completely innocent, not even the "good guys", not even Todd. There are consequences to being raised with hateful ideology and toxic masculinity shoved at you from every direction, and the book is not afraid to show it.

5. Todd

Despite all of it, Todd is a character I just can't help but to love. He has his problems, but in his core he is a good person. He was raised with kindness in a place where kindness is a weakness. He is naive, overwhelmed, rude, sometimes selfish, but deep inside he cares and wants to do the right thing. He makes mistakes. He makes choices that are stupid and mislead and brave and kind and cowardly. He is so, so human. And he is one of my favorite characters of all time.

6. Themes ahead of its time

I feel like I could keep babbling forever but these are the main points of why I think Chaos Walking is incredible and everyone should read it. Sorry for the long post but tbh I can't talk about this series without turning it into an essay 😅 thanks for giving me an excuse to gush! 💜

Maybe I was just a little under-read, but at least for me Knife and all of Chaos Walking were the first books I read that tackled these themes so head on, especially in YA: toxic masculinity, misogyny, the dangers of the overload of unfiltered information (that's a big one. The internet today resembles the Noise even more than it did back in 2008), propaganda and herd behaviour and how it drives ordinary people to commit atrocities. I'm sure other books addressed these issues, but Knife does so in an unflinching way without resorting to mere shock value. It deals very well with complex, painful, sensitive issues. Especially for a YA book.

[neptune-midheaven]

💓 Astro Notes PT 4 ! 💓

+i’m back!! i’ll be posting more ever since school ended for me recently, expect a lot more posts going in-depth about each placement!! thank u all so much for being patient, love to you all <33. enjoy these highly generalized observations haha+

*Having your chart ruler in the social houses, 1st, 7th, 10TH, 11TH, sometimes 3rd is a sign of popularity, someone who works well with people, people naturally liking them, seeing them as friendly people, the planet of the chart ruler just affects the exact energy, how it’s expressed what they’re popularrr FOR. Even if it’s pluto the person will still be a magnetic and intense influence in this area. 

*Moon-uranus aspects can become addicted to their phones or the internet as the person emotionally depends on technology, it’s more exemplified with the harsher, tighter aspects.

*It’s possible for aquarius and gemini venuses to identify as asexual, they’re more likely to prefer more mentally stimulating romances rather than sexual encounters, detached natures in their relationships can be the root for this. This is a highly generalized opinion however, it could manifest far differently for ANYONE.

*Pluto in 1st conjunct the ascendant creates intenseee people, they draw a lot of people to them, everyone has their attention.

*People who have part of fortune in their 8th house live a long life, they have luck with escaping death.

*Multiple capricorn placements and the risings especially are veeeinyy, skinny and bony.

*Jupiter in 10th have a reputation for being jolly, fun and extroverted, travels a lot, their careers have to do with the foreign and studies, they’re especially known for being very educated and big humanitarians.

*Moon in 10th, moon-midheaven is known for crying a lot in public, they’re seen having meltdowns, breakdowns or emotional outbursts now and then.

*Moon-neptune were very close to their mothers at a young age, they always cried when she wasn’t near them.

*Sun-neptune were close to their fathers as children, both of these neptune aspects are dependent on how positive or negative the aspect is, positive denotes positive relations, negative being a sign of abandonment or disconnect from one of the parents or both if the individual has both aspects.

*Moon in leo/5th hate when they can’t express themselves and their emotions.

*Pisces mercury/12th house mercury are more likely to develop speech impediments, stutters. There’s just something unique about how they communicate as well.

*Libra in 6th are lazyy planners, they meet a lot of love interests and get crushes at work.

*You’ll experience strong, irresistible attraction toward the sign ruling your 8th house cusp, almost telepathic. 7th house cusp is the energy of the partners whom you attract, date, fall in love with.

*Neptune/pisces in 11th have friends who try to introduce them to drugs, friends can be toxic, draining depending on the condition of neptune, sorry to taurus and some gemini risings.

*Venus in 10th/11th in a chart automatically makes the person an extrovert, a good social worker.

*How tf do i come up with these.

*Having your 9th house ruler in 5th makes traveling seem like a hobby, a fun activity to you to entertain yourself or something you enjoy. These people want to travel everyday. They’re also lovers of learning, they look for smart, educated partners.

*Having your 2nd house ruler in 9th house means a job that involves traveling, making money over seas.

*Cappy suns are huge huge HUGE social creatures. Or the complete opposite.

*Uranus in 11th can make new friends crazy fast due to uranus’ quick! energy, just like lightning. Online, they can gain followers the same way, but their numbers always fluctuate or become spontaneously unstable ex: follow:like ratio could be out of wack.

*Mars in 12th love playing violent video games, like gta for example.

*Uranus in 4th could have an unstable family life if negatively aspected, a stimulating and revolutionizing one if they’re positive.

*Libra moons feel emotionally satisfied once a tense situation is smoothed over or balanced out, imbalance or chaos puts them on edge.

*Pisces suns can never figure out who they truly are as a person because of so much exposure to so many different things, morphing and adapting changes them sm bc they’re so mutable.

*Aries moons can be seen as people pleasers similar to libra moons, however it’s only in a way that they truly care just like libra, they care passionately about the people they love. This doesn’t necessarily make them people pleasers of course!! It’s only an aries-libra parallel.

*Saturn in 9th have delays in getting their degrees, it’ll become easier for them to graduate college after their saturn return.

*Mercury in 4th//cancer have excellent memories, they often make fantastic historians, someone who can keep track of the past. Real estate, home business/ careers would best suit them. They also have lovely voices 😻.

*Mutable mercuries’ speaking style is highly influenced by others, they can adapt to the specific speaking styles of others, adapt to unique communication styles from other people.

*Aries rising produces the most red heads out of all of the rising signs, next being leo.

*12th house stellium people feel so... watery

*Youll feel more empathetic and connected to those who share your moon sign or 12th house placements, any placement at all as you of course can be nice, understanding and a bit empathetic, however these two are far more potent and unifying.

*Aquarius placements mean you don’t take whatever planet is in this sign or house this sign rules seriously, it creates a sense of detachment from that area or part of your life.

*Contrary to belief, fires moons are more empathetic than water moons.

*Mercury in 12th people, i love y’all so much ughhh, you’re so sweet and gooeyy, ur ideas and mind are so important and gorgeous. Very artistic and soft minds, fragile thoughts that need to be encouraged by others closest to them. They’re usually very smart and especially talented and creative.

*Water moons have THE prettiest eyes, all of them are just gems swirling with colorful, vibrant soul.

*Moon conjunct ascendant can have their moods being visibly shown on their faces or expressions.

*Scorpio moons are intense but very attractive, it’s hard to keep your eyes off of them and their compelling auras.

*Libra risings can experience getting ignored in group settings. Virgo in 12th could promote this as they’re always hard working behind the scenes it’s almost neglected.

*Aquarius risings have this cute, quirky vibe about them which makes you want to be friends with them.

*Your moon in someone else’s 11th house is indicative of the house person feeling as though they can open up to you, that you two understand one another completely. It’s a very open minded and comforting synastry emotionally.

[self-loving-vampire]

While I strongly recommend that those who have an interest in the history of games (with my own focus being RPGs in particular) try to play older games for at least long enough to understand them, I realize that not everyone has the motivation to do this, especially if there’s any kind of technical or financial obstacle in the way.

So in this post I will recommend one of the next best things: Reading about this history. Here are some books that might be of interest.

1- The CRPG Book: A Guide to Computer Role-Playing Games - Expanded Edition

This is one of my top recommendations, starting with the fact that the whole thing is freely available online and extremely complete. It was written with contributions from a variety of veterans and serves primarily as a collection of mini reviews of various RPGs throughout history, starting with the very start of the genre in things like tabletop wargaming.

This book helped me discover several games that I ended up loving and recommending to my friends, and it does a pretty good job of explaining what makes each of the games filling its 681 pages unique, interesting, or historically significant.

It is also divided by time period and includes small sections on:

The history of MMOs.

The history of RPGMaker games.

Notable games from outside the standard English and Japanese canon, such as French, Chinese, and Korean RPGs with a few other notable mentions from around the world.

Its “further reading” section also brings up not only several of the recommendations below but also many more that I have had less exposure to.

2- Video Games Around the World

I have admittedly not been able to access this one myself yet, but it is described as “Thirty-nine essays explore the vast diversity of video game history and culture across all the world's continents.“

These essays are, of course, written by game designers and other such figures from a diverse array of countries. They should provide insight on how video games are seen and made in a variety of cultural contexts.

In a similar vein...

3- Video Games and the Global South

This freely-available book brings attention to gaming culture (and related subcultures) in various parts of the world that are under-represented in most examinations of video games.

This includes essay on everything from mods to include the indigenous people of Oceania to Europa Universalis IV to Latin American communities in popular MMOs and how their experience of these games might differ from those of anglophones.

It even offers a bit of an academic look into those lonely guys who go on MMOs to try to “buy gf”:

And it also roasts MOBAs and their notorious toxicity.

The language may be very dry and academic but the topics are often fun or at least interesting.

4- A Guide to Japanese Role-Playing Games

The JRPG version of The CRPG Book, focusing on the massive collection of RPGs produced in Japan. It seems to feature a similarly impressive catalogue that includes not only the big names like Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, and Chrono Trigger but also many smaller yet still significant games.

Unfortunately, it is a very difficult book to find right now so I can’t comment on it in more detail.

5- Dungeons & Desktops: The History of Computer Role-Playing Games

A historical exploration of RPGs divided into several eras defined by particularly popular and influential games, like Ultima and Wizardry.

While it covers many of the same games as the CRPG book, it goes into a bit more detail about the history involved and the stuff going on behind the scenes as well as giving more focus to the state of the industry when these games were coming out.

6- Computer Gaming World Museum

A free collection of all issues of the Computer Gaming World magazine, which ran from 1981 to 2006. 

It offers a priceless view into how people discussed several video games back when they were current or had yet to be released. 

Just for fun, you could try to look at the covers from your year of birth (if possible) and take note of what was considered a hot or significant game at that time.

Here’s how it looks for 1993.

7- Old game manuals

Reading the manuals for older games is an exciting way to learn about them. Really, it is. Back in the day, manuals did much more than explaining how the game is played, they went into a good deal of depth about the settings they took place in and included several interesting things.

For example, the Fallout 1 manual is styled as a “Vault Dweller’s Survival Guide” and includes things like a scientific explanation of the effects of a nuclear blast and a couple of “survival recipes”.

The documentations for several of the Ultima games include such things as a history of the world, bestiaries, maps of the world, runic alphabets, and even spellbooks explaining the setting’s magic system, with lists of magical reagents and words of power that can be combined into spells.

The massive manual for Darklands includes a history lesson on the Holy Roman Empire, what life was like there, the politics involved, a list of medieval saints, the basics of medieval alchemy, and even things like medieval timekeeping systems:

Many such manuals are can be easily found at ReplacementDocs. If you find an interesting game in any of the resources above, it might be worth giving the manual a look even if you don’t really plan to play it.

[asleepinawell]

How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show

I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')

part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story

my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadn’t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but it’s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break

many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which i’d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.

making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it

(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing I’m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).

fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.

I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.

my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).

and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that

I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people

s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.

I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)

i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests

one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer

through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me

on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in

and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with

so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy

[jackcinephile]

LO Fans: "I love Lore Olympus because it deals with serious themes, like sexual assault, abuse, gaslighting, trauma, and mental health issues!"

Me, who spent my life discovering and obsessing over masterpieces like this:

"You're gonna have to try a lot harder than that to impress me."

Yeah, I never understood that kind of praise. For one thing, people act like LO is groundbreaking for that reason, despite there being countless movies, books, tv shows, comics, and video games that also deal with the same themes. That isn't to say there can't be more stories like this, however. I, for one, am begging for another video game that comes close to the emotional resonance of Silent Hill 2, or for a faithful adaptation of Dracula and/or Phantom of the Opera, or for a horror movie as unsettling as The Howling! But to say any new story that deals with these themes is unique for doing so, is just simply not true. Lore Olympus is no more unique than any of these stories. Also, I don't understand the praise that Lore Olympus is great just by virtue of having these themes in the first place. Just because a story has serious themes, doesn't automatically make it good. Far too often does LO use its themes as a crutch for a plot that is standard issue among romances, as opposed to stories like The Howling, which has a very intriguing, outlandish plot that serves as a catalyst to explore themes of very real and relatable horror. Lore Olympus, without its intense themes, is just another story about the CEO falling in love with his intern. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE those kinds of stories, but Lore Olympus just doesn't really do it for me. And the poorly executed themes just hamper it even further for me.

If it wasn't already apparent, has anyone noticed a pattern between these titles? All but one are horror stories. In my opinion, that is one of the key differences between them and LO: Horror! The themes within, are ones that illicit terror, and the stories reflect that (even Phantom of the Opera--don't listen to anyone who says it's a romance). Starting with Dracula, one of the scenes that horrified me the most in the book was the one where Count Dracula sneaks into Mina's bedroom. The book describes him slitting open his own vein and forcing her to drink his blood. Mina then expresses feelings of violation, much akin to what rape survivors feel. It doesn't pull any punches in its shocking, horrific portrayal, but it never comes off as exploitative. That's because the best horror stories rely on the audience's empathy. In this case, nobody wants to feel violated, so we feel as horrified as the characters do when we read about this grotesque event. And because it is about illiciting fear through empathy, Dracula succeeds where Lore Olympus fails. Lore Olympus, before all else, is a romance. And rape should not be in a romantic story. Especially not when the narrative of LO uses this trauma to validate the relationship between the two leads. I'm not a fan of stories that use trauma to validate a relationship between romantic interests, and I think that partly stems from reading the Phantom of the Opera.

If you ask me, Phantom of the Opera is one if the best books to discuss abuse and gaslighting ever written! Despite misconceptions generated by the popularity of the musical, PotO is very much a horror story with hardly any romance at all. And it's one of the best examples about why using trauma to validate a romance is a very bad idea! You see, all the conflict of the story begins with The Phantom and his trauma. He was born with multiple physical deformities that cause him to look like a living corpse. Because of this, he is despised and rejected by the world in order to escape the hatred of the world, he commissions the construction of the Paris Opera House, complete with intricate catacombs where he can live out the rest of his miserable days. Then one day, a woman named Christine comes to work at the Opera as a chorus girl. She is sad and alone due to her being orphaned, without a friend in the world. She too is emotionally damaged and the Phantom thinks this means she'll understand him. The trouble begins instantly when he claims to be a character from a folktale that Christine's father used to tell her. This is when the manipulation and gaslighting begins. Part of what makes this so effective is how we see it from an outside perspective. The protagonist, Raoul, is in love with Christine and we get to see his confusion and growing concern when he starts realizing Christine is showing signs of an abusive relationship. What makes the relationship even worse is the fact that Christine actually does understand The Phantom. So she doesn't run away not only out of fear, but also compassion. She knows what it's like to feel isolated and dead to the world and The Phantom uses that against her. The more I describe this, the more parallels I begin to see to Hades' and Minthe's relationship. Yes, Minthe abused Hades in much of the same way as The Phantom abused Christine. Notice how Minthe keeps convincing Hades that they're the only people who understand each other, even going so far as to say, "We're the same." The funny thing is, that's exactly what the narrative uses to validate Hades' and Persephone's relationship! It tries to establish that Hades and Persephone relate to each other and they say, several times, "We're the same," to each other. But this is exactly how Hades got stuck in a toxic relationship with Minthe, so why is it suddenly okay now? Relationships that use shared trauma to validate themselves are almost always doomed to become toxic, in one way or another.

So what about the healthy relationship in Phantom of the Opera? Well, it's kinda interesting actually. You see, Christine eventually comes to realize that she needs help, so she turns to the protagonist, Raoul, to get her away from the Phantom. Raoul has an interesting character arc because he starts the novel being pretty immature and kinda selfish. He doesn't really take Christine's feelings into consideration. It's more like a boy chasing his childhood crush (actually that's exactly what happens). However, over the course of the story, as he becomes increasingly concerned with her well-being, he learns to care more about her feelings and her needs. This culminates in the climax, when he's willing to crawl through hell itself for her sake. I bring all this up because I wanted to compare Raoul with Hades as well. Hades is a very consistent character. He doesn't need an arc like Raoul because, from the very beginning, he's willing to put all of Persephone's needs before his, to a fault! That is his entire purpose within the narrative of LO. He exists to serve Persephone. Raoul didn't exist to serve Christine. He had his own journey of growing and maturing. And Christine didn't exist to serve Raoul either. It bothers me that a novel from 1910 has a more well-rounded relationship than a modern comic! Actually, now that I think about it, isn't Persephone's entire character arc supposed to be her learning that she shouldn't exist to serve others? Well, that totally contradicts Hades' role in the story, doesn't it? He exists to serve her! I guess, in the eyes of LO, it's only okay if men serve women, but not for women to serve men. Newsflash: neither is okay.

Now Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931) remains, to this day, one of the most terrifying movies I've ever seen! That's all thanks to its brutal depictions of domestic abuse. So Dr. Henry Jekyll believes the solution to enlightening the human race is to separate the good and evil in our souls. He solves this problem by creating a drug to do just that, which transforms him into Edward Hyde, but he becomes addicted and starts terrorizing a woman who was once a former patient of his. I think what makes this so effective, when compared to LO, is one simple factor: Fear. I am terrified of Edward Hyde, but whenever Apollo shows up, I'm just annoyed. That's because Hyde isn't being used to sell an agenda, while Apoll is. Apollo is all about making a statement about toxic masculinity, which always bothered me from the very beginning! Being an abusive cunt who rapes women has nothing to do with masculinity! It doesn't matter if you're masculine or feminine, anyone can be a cunting abusive rapist. If you are a rapist, it's because you're a monster who lacks empathy, not because of masculinity. And if you think masculinity has something to do with a lack of empathy, fuck off! Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is not about toxic masculinity. It's about how drug addiction can often hurt other people around us just as much, if not moreso, than ourselves. It also doesn't use rape to validate a relationship between characters. I'm sorry, but that is just the laziest storytelling technique. When the antagonist is a rapist OF COURSE the male love interest is going to look better by comparison! But when you take Apollo out of the equation, Hades stops looking like a desirable love interest real fucking quick.

So yeah, I think Hades makes for a bad love interest. That's mostly because he's so much like Shinji Ikari from Neon Genesis Evangelion. Yeah, the one title from the list above that's not a horror, but is no less relevant. The thing is, both Hades and Shinji have a lot in common, such as hating themselves, having a bad relationship with their father, and not caring at all about their own wants and needs. Oh, also Asuka's a better written character than Minthe, but that's a whole other topic. What makes Evangelion work, in my opinion, is that Shinji's whole journey is about learning to love himself, while Hades is portrayed as being perfect the way he is. Hades in LO is like a flawless beacon of virtue, solely because he worships the ground Persephone walks on. But the guy just doesn't care about himself at all! Like I said earlier, Hades guilty of the same self-destructive behaviors as Persephone but he's praised for it, while Persephone is encouraged to look after herself more often. Compare this to Shinji, whose life only gets worse the more he neglects himself. The only time Hades does something beneficial for himself is when he breaks up with Minthe, but immediately after that, he starts devoting every ounce of energy to Persephone! All that matters is her! He doesn't give a single fuck about himself. Sorry, but that's not good qualities in a male love interest. In all fairness, this is a problem with the romance genre as a whole. Most romances give priority to the protagonist (in this case Persephone) while neglecting the love interest (Hades). It's why I have a serious problem with the entire genre.

Now what could Silent Hill 2 have that is in any way relevant to Lore Olympus? Two words: Nightmare Fuel. Personifying trauma as literal demons is one of the smartest ideas anyone's ever had, because speaking from personal experience, that's how it feels. I just don't feel like the trauma experienced by the characters in LO is a waking nightmare like it is in real life. For one, the characters' trauma only pops up when it's convenient for the plot. Like whenever Persephone starts experiencing ptsd, it happens when she's with Hades so we can get a scene with Hades cuddling her. After that, it shows up in a scene to make her look badass by confronting Apollo. No, just no. The Howling did it better too, by making the protagonist's trauma such an inconvenience in her life! I never felt that way in LO. When you uss traumatic encounters to make your character look like a badass, kindly fuck off.

[lord-westley]

Doing this on a new post cause it was long

Thank you so much @thespiritoflife my Angel!! I was actually just thinking to myself yesterday that there has been a lack of tag games lately 😂

When is your birthday?

July 19!

What is your favorite color?

Blue will always be my favorite color, sometimes green alongside it

What’s your luck number?

I never really had one but I think it’s 18 now. Not a question but it’s funny, my unlucky number is 62, any download on any game or device etc, always gets stuck at 62

Do you have any pets?

Yes I do! 3 dogs and 4 cats

How tall are you?

I’m 5’5! Or more specifically 5’5 3/4

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I… own a lot. But it’s all goodwill finds so each pair was like $5-$10. I have work sneakers, “formal sneakers”, and Wish.com sneakers I bought for skateboarding. 3 different heels? And flip flops.

Favorite song?

Currently it’s Passerine by The Oh Hellos

Favorite movie?

Aside from LOTR? Disney’s Ferdinand the Bull

What would be your ideal partner?

Someone who is flexible energy wise. Wouldn’t mind going on crazy 2am adventures and suddenly bursts of energy. But also be able to vibe and just stay home and be lazy. Vibe in each other’s presence doing our own things. Also maybe little to no sex drive cause I uh.. no thank you 😅

Do you want children

Nope nada no thank you

Have you gotten in trouble with the law?

Yes, no?? Mom and I got pulled over once cause we didn’t realize we didn’t have the headlights on cause the area was completely lit until we got onto the on-ramp. Officer was like “have you two been drinking?” Mom “oh god no- coffee!”

What color socks are you wearing right now?

Turquoise with a darker turquoise stripes

Bath or Shower?

Shower 100% baths only for fun little things

Favorite type of music?

Anything but rap and maybe not country. Grew up on it and I’m kinda sick and tired of it

How many pillows do you sleep with?

On my bed? I permanently have 4 pillows. One is a body pillow as the “support” since I don’t have a headboard. Two normal pillows side by side since I have a full size. And a decorative pillow

What position do you sleep in?

Anything that’s comfortable. Sometimes sleeping like a running position. Sometimes fetal position. Stomach, or back. Usually only sleep on back/stomach when my entire right leg hurts

What don’t you like when you’re sleeping?

I have a forward tilt in my pelvic bone. So when I lay on my back, I don’t lay completely flat comfortably and it hurts

What do you have for breakfast?

Coffee lol. I have to wait 2-3 hours after waking up to eat or else I get sick. Blame it on waking at 7am everyday for school.

Have you ever tried archery?

Nope!

Favorite fruit?

Peaches, strawberries, watermelon, kiwi, banana, mango, oranges, pineapple… everything?

Favorite swear word?

I’ve been saying b*tch quite a bit lately.. but absolute favorite is biscuit, fiddlesticks, fudge, uhh. Anything that’s a fake swear word and funny to say

Do you have any scars?

I do! Not caused by any actual injuries but scars from having keratosis lol

Are you a good liar?

Depends if I rehearsed or if I’m scared if said person

What’s your personality type?

I don’t remember 😅

What’s your favorite type of girl?

all I guess? Everyone is unique in their own way

Left or Right handed?

Right handed

Favorite food?

Sushi absolutely 100%

Are you clean or messy?

I’m in the middle ground. There’s a few things here and there

Favorite foreign food?

Sticky Ginger Pork w/ Rice

How long does it take for you to get ready?

At most, 10 minutes. Brush my fingers through hair, change my pants and/or toss a jacket on. Deodorant, teeth. Done.

Most used phrase?

“Gog damn”

Are you a good singer?

No but I take pride in being able to sing fast parts of songs

Do you sing to yourself?

Not real songs. More just, whatever comes to mind. “Kitty cat you’re a kitty cat, meow meow meow meow meow, kitty cat, kit kit kitty cat”

Biggest fear?

Losing everyone

Do you like long or short hair?

On myself I like short hair better. But in general both are cute

Are you into gossips?

Only if it’s like, actual issues happening for a friend and they need to give the backstory

extrovert or introvert?

Introvert

Favorite school subject?

Forensic Science

What makes you nervous?

Everything

Who was your first real crush?

I’ve never had a real crush. It’s always just been. Oh he’s nice and not bad looking. 🤷‍♀️ it was almost like a demand in elementary and middle school to have crushes so I like.. had one but didn’t have one

How many piercings do you have?

Four! Two on each lobe

How fast can you run?

In general running, decent. It’s almost like just a jog. But if I really go at it. Holy frick the flash.

What makes you angry?

People who neglect their kids/pets. Granted I don’t like kids but I still understand that it’s not right. Toxicity, anyone who says to respect others but then goes ahead and hates others. Not genuine anger. It’s super hard to make me genuinely angry

Do you like your own name?

Meh. Not my favorite. The time I was born, the name Hannah was super popular and there was like 9 other Hannah’s in middle school. And I hated all of them cause they were stuck up and rude

What are your weaknesses?

Struggle to say no or express my feelings if I don’t want to do something. Honestly everything is a weakness, I’m mentally/emotionally stunted

What are you strengths?

Loyalty, silent loving by gift giving or quality time, uhh I always try to stay calm and kind even if it’s someone who annoys me

What is the color of your bed spread?

The sheets are pink with sprinkles and the blanket is a pretty dark navy blue.

What is the color of your bedroom?

Pure white aside from my bedroom door which is a gross pink tan, but I’m trying to paint it as a Minecraft door.

No pressure tag: @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @moonmaidensdream @tolkien-fantasy @justfollowtheroad @riddlesia @idle-thyme @im-almost-me and anyone else

[triviareads]

Hi there, 👋

I stumbled on your blog by accident (via the Bridgerton tag 😎), and I thought I’d chip into the popularity discussion.

I think it might have to do with the “Whistledown effect”. In books 1-4, Whistledown is still in business. That creates an extra dimension of excitement but also a sort of broader context of events. Whistledown’s Society Papers represent the information everyone in the Bridgerton universe knows. And the novels themselves sort of become a race against the clock to get to your happy ending before that crucial piece of information gets leaked. The latter four novels aren’t as bad per se, but there lack that form of suspense.

And yeah, the plots are somewhat repetitive. The Gregory-Hermione-Lucy triangle bears strong resemblance to the Anthony-Edwina-Kate situation. (I hereby declare I hope they cast Hermione as black, and while doing so get rid of the name…sorry it’s really not my thing. 🤫) And the Gareth-Hyacinth dynamic (“we’re partners in crime but really we’re not in love!!”) reminds me a little bit of Simon-Daphne. Eloise’s and Frannie’s plots are quite unique, but somewhat like each other but reversed. (Except Francesca was really fond of John and Phillip…not so much of Mariana 😬).

Plus…I feel you need to invest a lot as a reader to familiarise yourself with the main characters. Especially Francesca. I understand people love Franchael’s dynamic. But before reading the book I felt I barely knew Francesca. Which made rooting for her a bit difficult for me. (And I’m not even touching the topics themselves here…) As for the dynamic itself. I think especially with WHWW, it would serve the showrunners well to show how the dust settles once Francesca and Michael get together and married. Call me a prude, but I still believe in good old conversation. And especially after such a tumultuous start, it would be nice to see how they get used to living together as man and wife. And pay a little more attention to Francesca’s trouble conceiving. (I know it isn’t a sexy subject but it’s very important to talk about – both for the story and for the viewers). I thought all of that was somewhat brushed over whereas imho, they were much more interesting than that endless “will-they-won’t-they” and that slightly toxic game of attraction and rejection. That reminded me a lot of Wuthering Heights…but we all know how that one ended. 😔

Oh and finally an important change I would make: include the Bridgertons much more in WHWW! I know the whole point of the book was the seclusion in Scotland. (Yeah, I’m still manifesting Michael is a true Scot -> preferably with a beard and a kilt!) But in all the other books family was able to help or just speed things along. And I should hate to think Frannie can’t rely on the same close-knit relationships. Even if she seemingly wanted to. 😉

Well, apologies for this lengthy dissertation of my views on Bridgerton. I hope you could reflect ideas.

Kind regards,

— Thel.

P.S. Because I couldn’t sleep I came up with a (“commonwealth inspired”) idea for the background of all the love interests. Would you like to hear why it? 😊

Answer below the fold!

Hi Thel! Wow, I love this- the "Whistledown effect". That totally makes sense! I never realized how tantamount Whistledown is in leaking something near the end of every story the first 4 books, like a pattern. You're right- I guess the tension does die away with the last 4 books since there's no public reveal, or threat of public reveal, at least.

I do agree I'd like to see all the couples, if possible, after their plot conflict has been resolved, and they're living their lives, just to see how they're doing. If Bridgerton ever gets to Francesca and Michael, seeing their fertility struggles is something I'd definitely like to see portrayed, because you're right, it is an important topic. I wouldn't go as far as to compare Michael and Francesca to Cathy and Heathcliff, mostly because the genres are very different and I got the impression when I read the novel (years ago, and forcibly- thanks Honors English) that Cathy and Heathcliff's relationship is both unnaturally intense in its intensity (in keeping with the gothic genre, I guess) and there is never any happiness for them. Francesca and Michael, on the other hand, are in a very different genre (one far more known for its happy endings), and they're both people inclined towards happiness, I think. They don't luxuriate in misery the way Cathy and Heathcliff seemingly do.

I would be interested in hearing about a "commonwealth inspired" background for each of the love interests! Although, at that point in history, I do have to point out it would not be the "commonwealth" (that status only came later), but the various lands and colonies that are under the subjugation of the British Empire. But I would still love to hear what backgrounds you have in mind for the remaining love interests, and under what circumstances they (or their ancestors) came (or were brought) to England!

[your-brilliant-lady-m]

South Korean music industry at a glance: an outsider perspective

I watched one particular AMV last week. The song used for the video was “I’m afraid” by Korean rock band DAY6. I was pleasantly surprised as someone who values lyrics in song first and foremost. The music itself was great. I’ll listen to their songs again. It’s a nice fit for my music taste. Naturally, YouTube’s algorithm decided that I’m a fan of everything Korean after 1 video and started spamming my recommendations with k-pop songs, documentaries and everything in-between. 

I watched a couple of videos, listened to some songs and discovered fascinating patterns. So, I went down to the comment section. And it was rather interesting experience, should I say? The concept of entertainment industry in South Korea simply begged to be explored more after this. I dug deeper and visited Tumblr k-pop tags and briefly glanced upon Instagram and Twitter. And, oh...

I am a big picture person and I enjoy both studying and creating systems. This one was particularly fun to explore. I discovered a lot of new things for myself. Perhaps, you can discover something new for yourself too or take a step back and look at this from a new angle. 

Disclaimer: it’s impossible not to offend someone on Tumblr, so keep that in mind. That being said, I do NOT intend to insult of offend anyone. It’s just a little research done for fun, because I love research with a purpose. This post is NOT A HATE post. No hate intended for fans, artists or other people involved. It’s meant to be a discussion, nothing more and nothing less. If it sounds like hate, it’s just my sarcastic sense of humour.

Content Warning: I mention suicide, death, depression, rape in a couple of sentences. There’s nothing major or graphic, but it’s there. 

In this long post I decided to share with you my opinion, a so-called outsider perspective, on the world of music entertainment industry in South Korea and people involved in it on different levels. I use the word “outsider” mainly because, that’s exactly what I am in this case, as someone who is in no way involved in k-pop community. I can’t name you a single band or their members. I don’t know any solo artist and can’t neither sing nor name you any song. 

And to be completely honest, I don’t think I will set my foot into k-pop fan-circles ever again after everything I saw. 

Think of this as “In this essay I will...” meme, except there’s an actual essay.

As far as I know, in South Korea “k-pop” refers to all music produced in SK, including solo artists, various bands, singers-songwriters. It doesn’t even have to be pop music. Koreans include in this definition all genres of music. However, around the world “k-pop” means primarily music made by idol groups and bands marketed for children, teenagers and younger people. In this post I use the latter definition, because that’s how most people understand “k-pop” in other countries. Therefore, my statements, opinions and conclusions here would concern only idol music. 

The music industry in South Korea is heavily influenced by culture and traditions of the country, just like all things are. And there’s nothing wrong with that. After all, different backgrounds are what makes people so interesting and unique. However, when combined with consumer mindset, desire to generate profit at any cost and fast-paced nature of modern life these neutral cultural elements could produce something concerning, and it can lead to disastrous consequences. 

1. Idol

These people are called artists, musicians, singers, bands, groups, performers. In South Korea and in Japan, however, people call them Idols or Stars. I’ve also seen Muses, Princes and Queens. Interesting, isn’t it? The terminology used to describe these musicians in South Korea is one of the key elements in this whole entertainment system. You’ll see why.

But who or what is an idol exactly? Let’s take a basic definition from Wikipedia.

“In the practice of religion, a cult image or devotional image is a human-made object that is venerated or worshipped for the deity, person, spirit or daemon ... that it embodies or represents. In several traditions, including the ancient religions of Egypt, Greece and Rome, and modern Hinduism, cult images in a temple may undergo a daily routine of being washed, dressed, and having food left for them. Processions outside the temple on special feast days are often a feature. Religious images cover a wider range of all types of images made with a religious purpose, subject, or connection. In many contexts "cult image" specifically means the most important image in a temple, kept in an inner space, as opposed to what may be many other images decorating the temple.

The term idol is often synonymous with worship cult image. In cultures where idolatry is not viewed negatively, the word idol is not generally seen as pejorative, such as in Indian English.”

Cambridge Dictionary defines idol as follows:

And here’s the definition from Oxford Dictionary: 

This is a centrepiece of this tapestry. Surely, you have noticed by now what these definitions have in common. 

Idol = a cult image of a god, a deity 

By calling these musicians “idols” industry makes society and audience treat them in certain way, namely as gods. What characteristics do gods possess? They are beautiful, talented, funny, confident and graceful, blessed by eternal youth of immortality. Gods have no flaws, they do not bleed, they are above human concerns. They are an embodiment of perfection. They are stars, you could not reach. 

But real people are not like that. They can be sad and angry, insecure. People don’t have perfectly symmetrical faces. They can’t dance in sync without preparation. They can’t sing like angels at any given moment throughout the day.

What happens when idols accidentally reveal their humanity? What happens when people see, that they make mistakes and do stupid things, that they need to train hard to appear graceful on stage? 

I will tell you. And it’s not pretty. But, first, let’s look at other elements of this system. 

2. Y/N and Self-insert fantasy

Aside from the music, K-pop sells the self-insert fantasy to the audience. It’s carefully arranged to appear real, where the cracks are masked and every word is scripted. The reality is so vivid that one doesn’t even have to use imagination all that much, because all scenarios and decorations already exist. Countless interviews for TV and magazines, fan meetings, talk shows, reality shows made sure people are privy to all juicy details of personal lives and opinions of musicians. And also one word - merchandise. Some of that merch made me question my life choices. Some of it is, ah, creepy or has weird vibes. All of this provides plenty of material for people to work with. Fans can effortlessly imagine themselves beside their idols or even in their place. 

In a highly competitive society, where people throw themselves into studying and work since young age, forming deep and lasting connections with others is very hard, sometimes impossible. As a result, people long to have a group of close friends with similar interests, a loving partner who would cherish them endlessly. People want to be rewarded for their backbreaking efforts to succeed by the carefree life of fame and music, everlasting friendships and love. And in a way you can’t really blame them for his. 

Does this dream life sound familiar? We are looking at K-pop bands here. It doesn’t really matter if their members don’t always get along or that they can live in debt, that fame is fickle and adoring fans can tear your self-confidence to shreds. Audience wants the glamour of fantasy and the industry is more than happy to cater to these desires. 

Perhaps, knowing that even for idols this fantasy is sometimes unattainable makes the whole set up feel just a little cruel. 

3. Fans, stans and fandom culture

We’ve already established earlier that idols are gods in the eyes of people and listed traits they must possess. So, what else do gods need to exist? Worshippers. Because a cult is worth nothing without its followers. Gods need a group of people to worship them and spread their beliefs. The role of worshippers is performed by a fans in this case. 

Apparently, there is a running joke that girl groups need to win a general public popularity and boy bands need a big passionate fandom. It seems to be true according to my observations. 

In k-pop fandom people use the word “stan” to state that they like or support particular group. Now, I am sure everyone here knows that in other fandoms, dedicated to movies, shows, books and games there’s an important distinction between being a “fan” and a “stan”. What is it? 

A fan is someone who likes a ship or character, creates and/or consumes fandom content, supports certain ideas, discusses things they enjoyed and disliked, criticises canon. Stans, however, are a different breed. They engage in all typical fandom activities, but their support and enjoyment becomes obsession. Stans believe their favourite characters and ships are immune to criticism, that they are superior no matter what others say. Stans start shipping wars, send anon hate, death threats over fictional characters and hurt real people. Stans are considered toxic fans. And majority of normal civilised people don’t like them and try their best to let stans hang out in their echo chamber by themselves. 

In other fandoms and communities, to be a fan means to love, support and enjoy something, while to stan means to obsess over and hyperfixate on these same things. Words “I stan” rarely mean “I support” for most people, and if they do mean that, it’s only used in a joking manner (”We stan procrastination legend!”, “I stan our miscommunication kings”).

Everywhere else “stan” has only negative connotations, except in k-pop. But what has changed? What’s the difference? Why do international fans scoff at “shipper stans” and then turn around calling themselves “stans of X k-pop group” at the same time? Does it make you wonder? 

And this is another core theme of k-pop, in my opinion. In fandom where stan = obsession = support, you can see interesting patterns. 

Fandom loves their flawless gods. But watching them from afar is not enough for some people, because unlike deities in different religions, these gods live among us. People are very much aware of that. Industry has created a cult and laid the groundwork for worshippers to express their adoration in every way including personal contact. And who wouldn’t want to meet their god? Who wouldn’t want to know more about them or tell them how much you love them? In talk shows and fan meetings there is only so much one can do after all.

People desire to know more, to have more so much that their obsession transforms into concerning stalker tendencies. These crazy individuals follow idols, stalk them on social media, in hotels, research flight numbers, bribe security. Musicians were attacked and poisoned. I strongly suspect there were cases of rape that no one knows about. There is even a special term for these fans - “sasaeng”. 

Is there a definition for stalkers of actors or musicians in western world? No, I’m pretty sure there isn’t. They are just called “invasive/obsessive fans” or “stalkers”.

Also, there are sasaeng memes. Yeah, you heard that right. I enjoy some classy dark humour as much as the next person, but there is a fine line between normal and questionable. 

Back to the topic of stalkers. Do you realise how disturbing that is? Such behaviour is so common that there is a term for it. You create a fandom-cult, encourage people to worship k-pop idols as gods and then act surprised when members of said cult become fanatics and their adoration becomes obsession.

And it’s so easy to step on this slippery road. The system makes it ridiculously easy. Lines begin to blur. How much is too much? Where do you draw the line? 

While sasaeng fans engage in extreme real-life obsession, people online aren’t that far off, to be honest. I’ve seen it all: imagines, headcanons, fanfiction, real-person shipping, reactions. Real person shipping is a controversial topic. Some people support it, others don’t. I suppose I’m among those who don’t get it. I’m not exactly against it, but I find it strange. Mainly because it’s based on assumptions made by fans about personalities and behaviour of real people. 

Assumptions. Dear me! K-pop fandom has this thing with video compilations. I’ve never seen this phenomenon being so widespread in any other community or fandom. Basically people edit together a collection of short clips from talk-shows, interviews, Instagram stories, some YouTube videos, etc and then proceed to analyse every gesture, word, facial expression of idols and provide both audio and on-screen commentary. These videos and many other forms of similar analysis allow people to imagine what kind of personalities idols have, what kind of life do they live. It’s the source material for fanfiction, imagines and headcanons. 

But it’s not real. It’ll never be real. It’s an illusion, an image, a stage persona. They fall in love with a face and made up personality. And I think that when people create this content they can forget this. Fans can develop certain emotional dependence and unhealthy attitudes in the long run. In some YouTube comments even supportive and encouraging words sound whiny and obsessive. And semantics of being a “stan” of certain group or individual doesn’t help. 

4. Industry, companies and liars 

At last we arrive at the most important aspect of music entertainment industry - its creators.

Have you seen “The Road to El Dorado”? It’s one of my all time favourites. It has iconic characters, adult jokes that I didn’t get as a child and iconic soundtrack. I’ll quote “It’s Tough To Be A God” a lot here. 

In South Korea music industry is a factory, the production line to be exact. This kind of set up affects everything in the grand scheme of things. Companies and agencies play the role of training centres and record labels. And there are so many of them that a whole new scamming system developed based around fake idol agencies. It implies that there are people who fall for offers of these agencies and continue to do so. I suspect that victims must pay a fortune upfront before they realise their mistake. Are there any kind of legal protection against such scams? How can people verify the authenticity? Because a well masked scam can exist for a long time before someone discovers it and calls them out on their nonsense. 

As far as I understand legal companies work like this. After high school, which is often focused on performing arts (and private schools can get away with using talents of students for personal gain, which is totally not surprising), young people can audition for an agency and become an idol in training or idol-trainee. And passing audition is hard. But good recommendations can help, connections too. 

During training you don’t get paid. Only a few companies pay aspiring musicians. People can spend years in training and don’t debut. But rent, necessities, clothing and food (not that you need much of it, but more on that later) cost a lot. Where do you get the money to live then? Support from parents, one or two part time jobs at most and bank loans. Surprise! We found an unexpected (just kidding, it’s very obvious) party, who reaps benefits from the system. 

You need skill to be an idol. Natural talent helps too. The more skills you have, the cheaper and faster your training is. To level up your game you attend classes every month offered by your agency, which are not cheap (dance classes range from 400$ to 1000$ per month, sometimes more). There are four main categories in evaluation process: vocals, rapping, dancing and visuals. Idols are multitaskers, to have a chance on stage one must be perfect at everything. And people are ready to invest thousands of dollars into their kids training so that they could have a chance in entertainment industry. South Korea thrives on revenue k-pop industry generates every day.

Let’s pause here for a second and think about what kind of people come to these agencies. The answer is easy. People who have a dream, a desire, a real goal. You don’t wake up one day and decide to become a k-pop idol. Sometimes people get invited by agencies (after prior acting, modelling career or any other form of exposure). These people are usually very young. Some start straight after high school, some after university, but 25 years old is considered a late start. Compare that to western musicians who start singing at any age and still become famous. 

But why this age limit? Because idols are eternally young. So that in public eye musicians are remembered as 20 year old gods. People would listen to their music and imagine a young attractive face. Career in k-pop is short, it lasts 5-7 years, rarely longer than that. It’s even less than modelling or acting can offer. And professional sportsmen retire in their late 30′s. Some play longer, but usually, that’s it.

If you live in Los Angeles and say that you want to be an actor or performer, no one would bat an eye. It’s like saying that you want to be an engineer or accountant. Similarly, in South Korea becoming an k-pop musician is a real career. Because part of the self insert fantasy that the industry sells is the idea that anyone can be an idol. It’s easy after all. Anyone can pass auditions and become a trainee. A trainee with no guarantee of debut. But one should never underestimate the power of idol-dream. After all, idea is the most resilient parasite.   

“My friends started training in kindergarten. They have wanted to become idols since young”

“A lot of young kids get interested in Korean music” 

A 6-year old child sees the performance of k-pop group for the first time on TV. Let’s say it’s a girl. She is enraptured and decides that she will be like that too someday. She grows up, while being part of the fandom, just like all idols are in one way or another and whose fan-obsession transforms into desire to succeed. Her parents spend time and money to find her tutors, to fund dancing and singing classes. Perhaps in high school this girl decides to fix the shape of her eyes and make nose straighter. She trains hard and passes the auditions in her dream agency. And during training this girl faces the reality of behind the scenes life in music industry.

“Why are you crying? I’m not even pushing you”

“How many times have I told you? The rest are doing it perfectly”

“She is dancing like an elementary school student“

“I watched your performance as a spectator who bought a ticket to your concert. I want a refund“

“You make my ears hurt. I don’t want to listen at all”

“Listening to you was tiring”

“I’ll kick you out instead. You won’t debut”

“I thought I was going to die. That’s how determined I was” 

While I do understand that keeping a high quality standards in media industry is important, there are more productive and healthy ways to motivate someone to improve and be more passionate, you know? Constantly insulting people with sadistic glee and putting them down at every opportunity or calling them ugly to their face doesn’t do much. 

Do you think that children know about this? Do they know about soulless teachers and belittling managers? Do they know about friends who are really your competition, so you shouldn’t get attached? Do they know about living in debt? Do they know any of this? No, I don’t think they do. 

Children dream about the stage, about the sea of lights and crowds who chant your names. They want adoring fans and photoshoots. They want to appear on TV and magazine covers. Teenagers want the thrill of performance, they want to share their music and dancing with others. 

“I don’t know how many times I cried alone”

The truth is cruel. But they won’t give up easily even if it means sleeping 4-5 hours and consuming no more than 500 calories per day. Because giving up means that your whole life was a lie. One can’t afford not to be good enough. Giving up means admitting that all efforts and money your family invested into your dream were in vain. It means losing face before your family and friends - a fate worse than death. Imagine living this idol dream and building your whole future around it and then being told that you’ll never debut because of the circumstances outside of your control or something minor, like face shape or 1 kg of weight that your body refuses to lose. It can break you. Especially if you are like 18 or something. 

5. “And who am I to bridle if I'm forced to be an idol If they say that I'm a God, that's what I am”

“I don’t think there’s anything a tough as being a trainee in Korea”

Once you are a trainee at the agency your personal life does not belong to you anymore. You can’t go out without permission of the agency. You phone is taken away. Your diet and weight are monitored. Bad habits are not allowed (no smoking, drinking or drugs). Oh! I think I found the good thing in the system! Unfortunately, it won’t last. Trainees can’t date or meet with family without permission of agency. Dating is very taboo. Even established idols can’t openly date. 

Why is that? Because gods can’t belong to anyone. Their lives are property of the fandom. Because openly dating idols destroy the self-insert fantasy. There was a former idol girl who dated another musician. She was called a whore by her fans, her loving and adoring stans. You might know who I am talking about. Would you call an American actor or singer a prostitute for dating someone?

Trainees sign the contract. And how can a young person straight out of school or university know much about what makes a good contract in entertainment industry or what makes a good contract in general? Even if you do understand the terms fully you would still sign it because if you have come so far, you can’t let your dream slip this easily. There isn’t a choice. Not really. If you want to debut, you will agree to anything.

What about life after debut? You have to pay off your loans. And company takes 60-70% of your group’s earnings. Artists themselves get 30-40% and split it between themselves. K-pop groups have from 5 to 10 members or more than that. Each person gets less than 6%. Idols are not filthy rich. They are not. These earnings are practically nothing compared to the work you have put into this. 

Idols are musicians, who often don’t even write their own songs, music or create choreography. But if public doesn’t like the song and musical number the company created, they blame idols for the failure. Such an amazing logic we see right here. But people say that sharing music is the best part of idol life. But whose music? 

Models on catwalk are not there to demonstrate their physical beauty, they are blank canvas for works of clothing designers. Same with k-pop musicians. They act like puppets in a way, whose faces and voices are used to show audience someone’s music and songs. Some groups do write their own music and lyrics and it’s nice to know that. But those, who don’t are rather unfortunate. It’s a nice tool of psychological control and pressure for an agency. They can hold it over group and use the following rhetoric: “We gave you everything! Why can’t you follow the simple instructions” or “Where would you be without us? It’s not even your music!”

I called k-pop industry a factory. That’s true. Dozens of people become trainees every year. These talented young people are fully prepared to do anything to achieve their goal. They are ready to practice until they collapse, starve themselves and pour themselves into every song. Companies know that. Tell me why would they value their idols as individuals, as people, as human beings if they always have a replacement? Why bother with mental health of their artists if next year they could have a fresh set of people, who are younger and prettier? Why try to improve relationships inside groups if you could fire any member and replace them within a month or two?

In western countries famous bands have different stories. Some were friends since high school, who played in bars and during festivals and then they were noticed by some representative of label company, who offered them a contract. Some groups were formed by like-minded people who bonded and decided to share their music with the world. There are many stories, but ultimately the have one thing in common. Bands in the West often form themselves. These people had time to bond, connect, discover each other, solve some disagreements and learn to work around their differences. 

K-pop groups are formed by their agencies. They are their property in a way. Company selects the best and puts together these total strangers, appoints the leader with marketable face and personality and then expects them to work together like a well-oiled machine. No one has time to bond during training, because other people are you competition, not friends. And then you must learn to work as a team and be best friends on camera for the audience to support the self-insert fantasy. It’s no wonder that k-pop groups don’t get along sometimes. And every member knows that they are replaceable. It doesn’t help in forming connections. Groups can’t just terminate contract and go to work with another agency. I heard it happens sometimes, but it’s not a done thing. Unlike in other countries where bands just sign the deal with a different label and release their music under their name if they don’t like the old conditions. 

“It's tough to be a God But if you get the people's nod Count your blessings, keep them sweet, that's our advice Be a symbol of perfection Be a legend, be a cult Take their praise, take a collection As the multitudes exalt Don a supernatural habit We'd be crazy not to grab it So sign up two new Gods for paradise”

But is it really a paradise?

Idols are expected to act cute, to match personalities created for them by fans or media. They have to act according to the concept of their group. They have to be a symbol of perfection: skinny, single and with a face perfected by surgery. They are allowed to mess up, but only in a cute way. They can break down and cry, but only if it’s “aesthetic”.

Weight issues are a separate topic. Sometimes I wonder whether managers in companies understand how weight loss or human body in general works. To be honest, I think that scales in agencies are rigged. And only managers know that. I know it can be done from personal experience. Some beach resorts tweak their scales and make them show 4-6 kg less than actual weight, so people wouldn’t get upset if they gain some. There is no way a girl as tall as I am (173 cm) could weigh like 47-50 kg and be able to perform complex choreography on stage and sing without being out of breath, visit the gym on a regular basis and generally function as a normal human without fainting every other day.

“I developed a lot of eating disorders”

“I think I consumed about 300 calories today“

“Someone, please, trim the fat off her arms”

If you grow up thinking of idols as gods and then, when you become one of them you think that you must act as one too. But being an easily replaceable god is a heavy burden. The industry, companies and audience want you to be perfect, to always be on your best behaviour. And the thought of not being good enough or divine enough terrifies you, because stans have no mercy (black ocean concept is the most stupid thing ever by the way). This kind of pressure can destroy even the most resilient. And it does. 

Almost everyone knows that situation with mental health in South Korea is not the best to put it lightly. In many ways it’s a cultural thing. But in k-pop mental health issues are treated with even less care. Gods are not supposed to be depressed or suicidal. They are not supposed to have fears or insecurities, can’t be upset or angry. They try hard to be this deity, this image. So, even when they realise they need professional help or even a friend to talk to, they either won’t seek said help or reach out only to be met with silence. Some agencies disapprove or forbid therapy altogether. 

Sometimes fandom becomes self-aware.

“Don’t forget that idols are people too!”

“Your favourite idols are running out of breath just to keep you entertained“

“They are humans, who have feelings!”

Oh, but here’s the thing, my friend. The industry doesn’t want you to think of them as people. Companies and media repeatedly reinforce the idea that they are not people, they are your idols. And strangely enough, the audience supports this idea. People continue to call them idols, developing worshiping tendencies in the process, imitate them, scrutinise their flaws and triumphs. Because, you know, only “real and ordinary humans” can have flaws, not “idols”.

So people who say “they are human too” and people who say “wow, this concert was amazing, but vocals in the beginning were so off-key, I simply can’t” are one and the same.

This thought process would have been funny if it wasn’t so disappointing. But that’s just my observation.

And here’s another thing about sexualisation. I said before how appearances are everything, marketable face and body could drastically improve your chances to succeed. Companies know about this too and concepts and aesthetics of groups are designed accordingly. Girls are dressed in skimpy outfits, their dances are unnecessary suggestive, they wear heavy make up and try to have “mature” vibes. Boys don’t avoid such objectification either: suits, tight pants and dress shirts along with make up and hairstyle to give audience a promise of the things to come. Grown adults are not supposed to lust after 15-17 year olds. You can’t just create a sexy stage persona for teenagers. Do you remember my earlier words about creepy merch? Yeah. All of it neatly plays into the self-insert fantasy and encourages obsessive behaviour. 

This happens in western countries too. In some way that’s understandable. Beautiful and sexy image with a hint of innocence attracts more people and sells, because it caters to one of the base human instincts. But some things make your skin crawl. 

Sponsorships are another topic. Some k-pop bands seek out sponsors to provide financial aid and cover expenses, when earnings are not enough. Sometimes these sponsorships are fine, perfectly civil. But sometimes it’s a prostitution. Girl groups receive money and provide sexual favours to their patrons. It’s a way for the group to gain financial support and even find new opportunities in the industry. Companies can encourage such deals. Let that sink in for a moment. 

6. “Any advice to those who want to become a k-pop idol?”

A lot of former idols and trainees have similar responses to this question. 

“I don’t want to discourage anyone, but think twice”

“You only see the glamorous side, but don’t see all the hard work that goes into it”

“It’s not what you think”

“They think ‘Since I am good looking and can sing and dance really well, maybe I should become an idol?’, but there is much more to it“

“They think it’s something that is easy and will keep their family set for life financially”

And this implies that most people don’t know what kind of lifestyle k-pop stars truly have, despite the amount of information available online about “behind the scenes” proceedings.

7. Moving on

I am a practical person and every decision I make is subjected to scrutiny. And after seeing everything I can't help but wonder whether idols believe it's truly worth it. What keeps the industry alive is the idol-dream, the wilful ignorance of its reality and youthful idealism, the beautiful naïve belief that it'll get better, even if it never does in the end.

Sure no one would ever admit it out loud, because it's one of those things you never say on camera, no matter how sincere you have to be. It's the matter of professionalism after all, and idols have it spades. And also, because admitting this would equal admitting that you spent your best years doing something you both loved and hated, admitting that this was a mistake.

When you grow up in a society where appearances matter the most, where saving face and being polite is more important than staying true to yourself, where individuality is tolerated only to a certain point, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you need a break. I greatly respect those who decided that idol lifestyle is not for them and moved on.

8. Conclusion

To sum up, I hope you enjoyed my small research and this perspective, since you have read it all the way to the end.  

You have noticed that entertainment industry is an intricate system and its every component makes sure nothing changes. Companies have power over idols and audience, fandom has power over idols and their careers, and musicians themselves have fame and their music, but not always the promised fortune or happiness. 

It’s important to understand the big picture to draw your own conclusions and encourage positive and heathy attitudes in fandoms. Being open minded and allowing people to make mistakes and live their lives the way they want to is a part of being a decent person. People don’t owe anything to others. Art is about sharing your thoughts and feelings, promoting ideas and spreading beauty. It’s not always about money. And I think that this is what k-pop lacks as an industry. It turned dreams and human need for self-expression into business. Here everything is turned into a product. Everything idols touch can be sold, sometimes literally. Industry created problems, which can’t be solved anymore, because doing so would topple the system. And I find it tragic. Trapped in an endless chase after perfection creators of k-pop forgot that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. 

If you take a look at comment sections and posts on different platforms, what will you see? What kind of things resonate with audience? What makes people laugh and cry? When people start to appreciate the substance?

“Everyone needs to hear this song in their darkest moments”

“Thank you for your music!”

“They always deliver! These guys can’t make a bad song!”

“It inspired me to write again!”

“Their songs brought me and my sister together once again”

“This is what happens when you let groups write their own music - they make incredible things”

“They really are legends of k-pop! I love that they are not afraid to show their inner strength”

“Stay strong! You rock!”

I believe that the answer is quite simple: when it’s real, sincere. It’s all about the message you choose to send to your audience, because only superficial things cause obsession. When you say that the sparkly façade is all that matters, then that’s the only thing people will ever care about. Your audience will never give a damn about the meaning behind dancing, music or lyrics, if you tell them that performance is more important. No one would praise WHAT k-pop idols sing, instead they would prefer wasting breath to criticize HOW they sing or look or move. 

I dare the k-pop industry to prove people that it’s not just about looks or perfection, or laser shows, or being a branding machine. Prove to your fans that k-pop artists are also passionate people with big dreams and talent, who love every moment of their job, who live and inspire, who are human just like us and whose humanity is real!

Do it, you cowards!

And now, I’m finished. I can hear the raging crowd of k-pop fandom in the distance, which means it’s time to hide. See you some other time! 

[massistocchifontana]

The hunting of men… The dissolution of our past through the recognition of our mistakes

The hunting of men… The dissolution of our past through the recognition of our mistakes

I am a man. I am a man who strives to be better every single day but am haunted by my own personal reflection that I have done wrong in the past. Like every man going through their various stages of growth there are moments when we are completely oblivious to why we act in the manner we do and we can analyse these experiences to the point where there is a psychological explanation for every single facet of our behaviour. I do not believe that this is the problem because like every man or woman there are stages of development and growth that we go through and this is essentially a process to become more conscious and aware and steering towards becoming more self-actualised individuals.

In other words, we do not come out the womb with this experiential knowledge of how we should be. This is down to life and the experiences that we encounter along the way. There is no one blueprint to how men should be and this phase we are in currently is highlighting an interesting shift that more and more men are becoming aware of themselves and the mistakes they have made. 

 Let me rephrase that: Men are becoming more aware of the bad choices they have made!

 The problem with experience is that there is no master reset like a video game. We only have one shot at the experience itself and once we make a particular choice, we have to follow through with the chain reaction that follows. No matter how quickly or delayed we may be in recognising these bad choices, once made they will be imprinted in our minds forever.

 Men have a different relationship with shame and what I mean by this is that we all have encountered shame throughout our lives but the manner in which we bottle it up and hide it away is very unique to us. We almost dissociate from the actual feeling itself and we will continue to find other avenues of achievement to mask the real knowledge that we carry this shame within us. It is only through very deep self-reflection that we realise how we have attached this shame to something enjoyable like sex or masturbation or work and other achievements. We have an uncanny ability to mask this shame.

 Regardless of how many years of therapy I have done for myself and the continual personal development that I embark on daily, there will always be a conscious connection with the shame I feel towards the bad decisions I’ve made in the past. This is not to say that I am a monster or a villain like most men, but the manner in which I have carried myself in the past in relation to anyone or anything still holds an imprint deep in my soul when I compare who I was to who I am today. I believe this is a common feeling for many men, where you will find a common statement heard “can we move past this please”. 

 This is because there is shame there, and we feel it. But unfortunately we do not have a machine that can quantify how much shame we are feeling to visually illustrate to the person in front of us that we are feeling remorse and are deeply pained by the way we have been. 

 Most if not all of us going through this process of development can recognise that with hindsight we have probably behaved badly according to the current blueprint of how men should be and we are quickly labelled with the toxic masculinity title, or the narcissistic brand. I too am culpable of using these titles for men but I do so with knowledge of their history and most importantly the desire within them to change. Not using them in a manner to squash the individuals who are doing the work.

 I truly sit here struggling to write this piece because it feels that there is a 50/50 split at the moment between men. This split is being maintained by very regressed men who do not want to change because their ecosystem they find themselves in wont challenge them enough to make the necessary changes, so why should they.

 There is no immediate gratification in making these changes as a man, especially if it means that we have to change to suite others around us. There is not allure to being more evolved and being more conscious because it is too healthy and not charged enough. There is no draw to making love over fucking like animals where we can appease our ego drive in its fullest. Immersion into our conscious self takes time and patience and perseverance but is not easy.

 So the question is why should we change as men?

 The simple answer is one of respect. The man who does not try to become more within himself so outwardly he can serve more is a man who has no respect for himself and the world he lives in. There is no denying that men want sex all the time but this doesn’t mean that the manner in which we go about getting it isn’t sullied. We need to become more reflective of the kind of man we want to be and make the changes necessary to achieve that self-image. Because we have a choice in most things, the moment we become more conscious in our ability to make changes, this is where our responsibility towards our self and others becomes paramount and we have to honour ourselves in the quest to achieve this.

 We are given a loose blueprint of how to be as men. This blueprint is constantly changing but can be seen to slowly shift towards a better model, but unfortunately still maintains very bad traits. The blueprint that has been bestowed on us may not be a conscious one in its acceptance and its seldom a case where someone has sat us down and explained this is what is expected from us being men. Instead most of our learning is achieved through the collective of men we engage with. It is only within recent years that we can say that men’s groups are becoming more popular and we now have a platform to face up to the varied styles of masculinity and most importantly the shame we harbour. 

 The importance to change, is not about change but growth. This may be a clever term for the same thing, but I truly view this process as one of growth. Growing inwards towards a more connected and authentic self, grounded in the knowledge that everything we do as men can be founded on a principle of love and kindness. The knowledge that we can still be “manly” and love motorcycles and extreme sports and bars and pubs and all the things that stereotypically have been labelled as things men like to do. BUT, it too means that we have a choice in how we relate and show love in our fullness because in essence we as men want to show this love but struggle with “getting it right”.

 The realm of relating and being exposed in our vulnerability is not an easy task for anyone especially men. Unless you’ve been fortunate enough to have these feelings normalised we run risk of not knowing how to navigate the space and in general the masculine mindset is about “getting things right”. This is usually why one of the most common problems in relationships is the man trying to fix the woman’s problem rather than knowing that holding the emotional space will be more effective over the long run in comparison to finding a solution. 

 We run an additional risk here and that is not knowing against who we should model ourselves on because there is such a variety of masculinity available. We have the tendency to model ourselves against men who are high achievers and unfortunately these are the men that will more often than not have a voice and be bold and stereotypically “alpha”.

 We confuse achievement and success with acquisition and forcefulness. We confuse dismissal of the other with knowing how to navigate a debate linguistically and be present in doing so. We confuse our partners emotional turmoil as a task to fix and avoid learning to sit with discomfort. We confuse what society says about emotional expression as a means to express our anger towards someone rather than processing it in a manner that is constructive for you and the relationship you are in. We confuse superficial infatuation with deep love because we are mostly not able to navigate the full range of emotions. Ultimately this list of critique can go on and on, and we can point out all the flaws that men have.

 The one thing we must not do is shut down a man who is really trying to change and be better. Because the harsh reality for many men out there is that we are afraid or have been afraid that our shame is provoked through an altercation or interacting with someone and instead of the actual work we’ve done being the primary focus we are hunted for being men on the backs of other unevolved men and on the backs of our forefathers and the mistakes they have made. 

 Like most atrocities in history, there is a collective reparation that needs to be spoken about and implemented. This doesn’t mean that there should be more segregation between men and women but really a coming together where we can celebrate ones self-actualisation and recognition that we are changing. This is not an easy process for people going through it and especially for the people who have experienced an unevolved man.

 My hope is that the more and more men coming together to explore and understand the range of masculinities that are out there are also understanding that there are other more effective ways of being. More effective and fulfilling processes to challenge our ego and shadow and ultimately get to grips with who we are as men. 

 It is essentially brave for men to embark on this, but it is also incredibly courageous for women to accept and trust this process so that we can evolve forward. 

 Via Con Dios 

[theunlimitedskye]

This is your reminder and a nice lesson on how to be a decent fucking human being in fandoms.

Hi.

Guess what?

Just because you don't like or don't agree with something doesn't mean you have to be a dick about it.

Just because you're indifferent or uninterested in something doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to see the good things about those subjects or like certain aspects without actually knowing about the subject.

You're allowed to like things. You're allowed to dislike things. It's when you get aggressive and nasty about is when people begin to have negative opinions on you, and by association, the thing you are offending or defending.

I've had so many people who tell me I'm not allowed to like something without knowing it. I've had so many people come to me and tell me that I'm wrong for liking the things that I do. Does liking South Park make me a racist homophobe? Does drawing PewDiePie make me anti-Semitic? Does mentioning a vague interest in Hazbin Hotel without even being in the fandom automatically make me have an interest in pedophilia? According to some of the anons I've had in the past, it does.

But, hey, newsflash guys, I'M ALLOWED TO LIKE THINGS and SO ARE YOU.

I have plenty of shit that I don't like, but do you see me shitting on everyone? Fuck no. That'd make me a dick, and while I am a dick, I certainly don't want to be one when it comes to other people and what they like. Who the FUCK gave you any right to tell me that I can't like something? Who the FUCK gave you any right to tell ANYONE they can't like something?

If you like something, then you fucking like it! You don't deserve to be judged unless the thing you like is morally or legally wrong. If you like a ship or a fandom or a character then that's fucking fine!! Nobody is allowed to tell you what you can and can't like in these instances. If it makes you happy then it makes you happy! You only deserve to be judged, again, if what you enjoy is wrong by society's standards. Not by the standards of some random chucklefuck on Tumblr.

Another thing. If you're uninterested in or indifferent towards something then that doesn't mean you get to shit on the people who DO like those things. In bird culture, that is considered a dick move. People are allowed to like or dislike things, and if you disagree with their opinions then that's just too fucking bad. You don't get to tell people what they're allowed or not allowed to like, or what they should and shouldn't like. I can give SO many examples of this from my own personal experiences and the fandoms that I'm in, and fandoms that I'm NOT in as well.

Take, for example, the lack of fandoms I've been in. Never have I ever been interested in things like FNAF, BATIM, Undertale or Homestuck. I've never been interested, I've never cared to be interested, and I don't think I ever will be interested. Do I dislike these franchises and fandoms? Do I have some personal vendetta against them or their communities as a whole? No. I'm just uninterested. I'm indifferent. Nothing more.

Now, does being uninterested and uninvolved mean that I can't see the good in these fandoms and projects? Hell no!! They all have immensely unique plotlines from what I've seen, and are each special in their own way. The gaming mechanics that came with FNAF and Undertale are distinguishable and wonderful and should really be considered their own genres, a clear and very large amount of effort went into Homestuck and it definitely shows, and I don't know much about BATIM but I'm sure it's great too.

And hey, guess what? I hardly know ANYTHING about ANY of these franchises. Does that mean I'm not allowed to praise them for what I think are good points and aspects? Does that mean that I'm not allowed to appreciate the time, effort and dedication that went into creating these games, and the sheer love and appreciation that the fandoms give them? Some would say yes. Some would say that if I don't know anything about these things then I should just shut my petty little mouth. But you know what? Fuck you. Just because I never had any participation in these fandoms does NOT mean I can't praise and appreciate them.

And on top of it all, the music for FNAF, BATIM, Undertale and Homestuck fucking SLAP. The canon music and ESPECIALLY, E S P E C I A L L Y the fanmade music. I wouldn't even know about OR3O if it wasn't for All Eyes on Me! The people in these fandoms who dispense such wonderful content and such amazing music deserve to be praised for what they are. They fucking deserve it just as much as the creators of the actual fandoms do.

A few more examples come from the fandoms that I'm actually in, mainly South Park, and mainly regarding a topic that usually can hold a lot of discourse in any fandom: ships.

Now, I don't ship bash. I don't hate people for what they like. I can dislike or hate a ship without hating on the people who ship it. That's called having opinions and being NORMAL about them. I try my best to be open-minded on things like ships and characters. There's quite a bit that I don't ship simply because I'm not interested, and yeah, I'll admit it, there's ships I fucking HATE in this fandom. Rebstella, Jyle, Stangory and Creek are all on my list. I despise these ships for multiple reasons, mainly due to other people cramming them down my throat and not taking it well when I say that I don't really care for the ships.

When it came to things like Rebstella and Stangory, I never used to give a damn. But certain events took place that made me hate these ships with a burning passion. The same with Jyle and the same with Creek. They're the holy rectangle of "get these ships the fuck away from me".

Hate is a strong word, but let me tell you, I mean it with every fibre of my being.

Do I hate these ships? Yes. Do I hate the people who ship them? No. Not in the slightest. I know plenty of people who ship Rebstella and I don't shit on them for it. I just ignore the discussion whenever it's brought up because that's what NORMAL people do.

I know how this world works. I know how this platform works. My opinions are "controversial" and I fucking know I'm going to get people in my inbox screaming at me for what I'm saying regarding these SP ships alone. But you know what? I don't give a fuck.

I don't like Creek. I don't like Rebstella. I don't like Stangory.

Come scream at me and tell me what a horrible cunt I am. See if I give a shit. I'm allowed to have my fucking opinions. That's the entire moral of this goddamn post. I, and other people, can like or dislike things without deserving to be screamed at to conform to the every desire and whim of a souring fandom just because we dare to have different opinions from the rest of the community.

Being uninterested doesn't mean you have to be a prick. I don't ship Pockestella but I have friends who do ship it, and I let them ramble at me about the ship whenever they want to because even if I don't care for the ship, I care for my friend. I don't ship what they ship, but they get happy talking about their ships, so I let them, because I want them to be happy. I don't HAVE to ship what they ship to have a conversation about it.

(Oh, and while we're on the topic of Pockestella, they're not fucking cousins. They're cousins in the book. In the show, they're only stated as playmates. Fuck off.)

The same goes for other ships. Just recently I was scouring the Gregory tags for some nice art to add to my folders, and I found an absolutely spectacular Gregstella piece. A ship that I also don't care for. But the art was superb. It was utterly fantastic and I ADORED the way it was drawn. So you know what I did? I liked the post and saved it to my folder because I liked the art, and I'll probably head back to search the tags for it again so I can reblog it because it was just that good.

I don't ship Kyman, but I love the FUCK out of the Helluva Park AU. Nor do I ship Tyde, but guess who loves the Fleur Bleue AU? This bitch right fucking here. I can appreciate the way things I don't care for are portrayed if they're portrayed nicely or professionally. Does liking an AU where Kyle is a demon make me anti-Semitic? Does liking an AU as fucked up as Fleur Bleue make me some kind of smutty rape fetishizer? Some would say yes. And those people are fucking idiots. Liking something doesn't mean that you support what's portrayed. I've been told I was racist because I liked canon South Park as a whole. If liking South Park makes a person racist then I guess everyone in the fandom is a filthy racist, huh?

Basically, the moral of the post is don't be a prick. You can like things without hating on people or being hated on. You're allowed to have your opinions and other people are allowed to have theirs. If they don't shit on you for what you like, don't shit on them for what they like. We're all allowed to have our likes, dislikes, opinions, stances, ships and preferences. If everyone was forced to like the same exact things in a fandom, it would get very boring, wouldn't it? Fandoms need variety.

Don't be afraid to state your opinions because you're afraid someone will dislike what you're saying. Don't hold back on showing love to the things you love because you don't want hate in your inbox. Show love to what you love anyway and disable questions and submissions. It's that easy to ignore the toxicity. Block and delete buttons exist for just these reasons.

You have to be brave and show love for the things you appreciate in fandoms. If someone hates you for what you're saying, so what? If it's an anon or someone you don't know then why the fuck should you care? You don't know them. Let them hate you. If it's someone you consider a friend getting pissy, well, they're not a real friend, are they? If I had a friend getting up in my case over the things I like or support, or the things I don't like and support, I'd drop them faster than the beat drops in a Skrillex song.

Do you like ships that aren't popular? That's fine! Ship them! You don't have to like what everyone else likes if shipping rarepairs makes you happy!

Are you playing a new game without playing the previous games? That's fine! Play the games you like! (I'm looking at you, Animal Crossing fandom. Fuck off the cases of people who are enjoying New Horizons without having played the other games. I just got New Leaf, are you gonna shit on me because I never played Wild World?)

Do you dislike things that everyone else seems to like? That's fine! You can have opinions! You're allowed to dislike things, especially if they're things that the fandom shoves down everyone's throats! Every fandom has things like that. You're allowed to dislike them!

I'll say it real loud for the people in the back.

PEOPLE CAN LIKE OR DISLIKE THINGS.

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE OPINIONS THAT DIFFER FROM YOURS.

NOT EVERYONE HAS TO LIKE THE EXACT SAME THINGS YOU DO.

PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO LIKE AND APPRECIATE THINGS WITHOUT KNOWING EVERY SINGLE LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT THEM.

I NEVER PLAYED FNAF BUT I LOVE THE MUSIC AND I FUCKING HATE CREEK. Are you gonna come yell at me for being brave and telling people my opinions? Are you gonna try and suppress me? Are you gonna try and silence me? To get me to conform to what you like? To tell me that I'm wrong? To manipulate me, gaslight me, threaten me until I step down and admit defeat? If that's your endgame, then find another target, because I don't fucking care. I'm not afraid, and neither should anyone else.

Individuality is key.

This has been your daily reminder on How To Bs a Decent Fucking Human Being in Fandoms.

Love, Skye.