dotshaft

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What if the Warrior Jars in Elden Ring moved like this?

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seems like a lot of you beer haters are highly familiar with the taste of piss

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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

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Little Nia waiting

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horned viper

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why does the usa have a city called corpus christi chuuni ass name you are not the body of christ you are a series of interconnected parking lots

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elite

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extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

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🦁🍜第3回 | WaNnE🌿

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Really easy to tell between morning dotShaft from afternoon and evening dotShaft huh

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You can't trick me into watching Arcane because I played League of Legends for years and know where all these characters came from. You can't sell me realistic nuanced drama about fucking JINX of all characters because I was there for her champion release and she was just The Jonkler For Women. I don't care about whatever tragic bisexual backstory you came up with for Viktor, I know he becomes Cyborg Skeletor shooting death rays out of his third arm. Anything between Cait and Vi is retroactive queer baiting because Riot made those two in 2011 and 2012, and Riot wouldn't explicitly say they had a queer character until Neeko in 2018.

Warwick used to be a bounty hunter cursed by Soraka because he seduced and tricked her, and Singed literally has no backstory, he's JUST an asshole chemist whose name is an anagram of design because he was the first character they made for the game. I don't need a show telling me Jayce is a shithead, I had to deal with that fucker in top lane for months when he was new, I already hate him.

I am NOT watching the League of Legends propaganda cartoon that Riot keeps sinking money into to divert attention from how their company was/is as riddled with sex pests and misogynists as Blizzard.

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Hey! Watch where yer swingin that leitmotif!!

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If anyone has a mashup of Numb Linkin Park and EITHER a Hat in Time song or a Deltarune song please show it to me I heard it once almost 3 years ago on a prestream and been obsessed with it ever since and I've been entirely unable to find it.

If it was a Deltarune song it was Hip Shop and if it was a Hat in Time song it was Peace and Tranquility but I cannot remember which one it actually was.

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