#I love how actors stay in mind of their characters and he���s like ‘with my boyfriend’ sir stop PLAYING MIND GAMES with me ughh

[spiderlily-w1tch-blog]

𝚄𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚑𝚊 𝚂𝚊𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚎 - 𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚔

𝕎𝕀𝕊ℙ𝕊𝕀𝕄ℙ𝕊

— — —

Ft Aquarium|Enclosure; ft tail, teeth + claws, claiming|mating(heavy mentions of future claiming), knotting, kind of insinuation of Size Kink??, cunnilingus, bit of pervy!Sasuke, breeding, creampie

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I do not own Naruto or its characters, all credit goes to its creators and actors

WC: 7,648

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: Includes Human/non-human romance/sex, minimal use of Y/n, 3rd Person POV, obligatory exhibitionism/public sex warning (Series Warning)

𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖎 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: Merman Sasuke Merman Sasuke Merman Sasuke Merman- get ready for some Sasuke fish dick(with a knot 😏),,, HOLY FUCK Y’all it took me over 3 weeks to finish this fucking chapter. Longest chapter thus far and probably the longest chapter in this whole damn book- My brain is fried. Istg I’m gonna be recovering from this one for d a y s.

【Ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ】

— — —

Sasuke swam to the edge of his tank and rested his arms on the edge, resting his chin on his crossed forearms, staring at his caretaker through the open separations of his shelter and the next one over. She always wore simple clothes overtop of her swimsuit which consisted of a skirt and a translucent long-sleeved crop top. She cycled through swimsuits, sometimes wearing one that showed off her midriff. Sometimes one that covered everything up to a high neck. Occasionally she would wear one that dipped deliciously low into her cleavage. Then, on special days she’d even wear a 2 piece.

Today she wore a new one. It was a new two-piece with a simple high hip bikini bottom. It had a tie-back wrap cross-style top with two straps that crisscrossed over her ribs and tied together in the back that showed off the centre underside of her breasts. As she bent down to grab the bucket of food for his neighbors, the Aquatic Water Serpents, he saw how tightly her swimsuit clung to her body.

More specifically, he saw how tightly it clung to her cunt and ass as her skirt lifted up enough it was entirely on display. He bit his lip at the sight and he felt his cock stirring in its sheath. He waited patiently, though. He’s her last stop for the day so he always gets to spend the most time with her.

He could wait. She was on her second to last stop anyhow. She scritched under the serpent’s chin and smiled at the youngling before heading off.

“Be good for Iruka, little one!” She cheerfully called back to all the hatchlings and closed the separation before heading to the one that led to the last Silvertip Shark Mer. The rest of his kind had been either poached or fallen victim to his elder brother who had been sent into a cannibalistic frenzy before he regained his sanity long enough to see what he had done and sacrificed himself to the poachers who stayed circling their cove.

The Search and Rescue facility he was currently residing in, Konoha, had found him as a pup and had taken him in. Apparently, they searched for another of his species, hoping to find a female, but couldn’t find even a sign of them. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest. So long as he could appreciate the beauty of his caretaker day after day, he was certainly happy. Of course, he would love to do more than just look at her, but he could wait. Luckily, though, it seemed he didn’t have to wait much longer from the conversation he’d overheard the night before.

The Research team that was tasked with replenishing extant species, particularly ones that they could not find viable mates, like Sasuke, had seemingly made a discovery.

‘We found something groundbreaking, Ma’am! It means that we can replenish the Silvertip Mers’ Species without needing a female Silvertip.’

‘Well, what are you waiting for, Shizune?! What did you find?’

‘It seems because Mers share nearly 50% of their DNA with humans, they can breed with Humans. Though that means it’s about a 50/50 chance if the offspring comes out as a Human or a Mer, though it seems it would be like any other Parent-to-Child Genetic Trait, one child could come out as Human but the next could be a Mer, it just depends on which DNA prevails.’

‘That’s perfect, Shizune. Now we just need to find a viable candidate. If the Silvertip mating process is anything like our other Shark Mer species, we should present multiple candidates and see if he takes a liking to any of them.’

‘Yes, Ma’am! I’ll start compiling a list right away!’

He smirked at the memory and swam to meet Y/n, his Minnow as he had donned her, at the edge of his tank. She pulled the separation closed for the evening as she entered.

“Good afternoon, Sasuke. How are you feeling today?” Y/n had her wonderful smile as she always did when she greeted him. Sasuke always liked to think that it was different from the smiles she would give to the other Mers she took care of.

“Spectacular now that you’re here,” He smirked up at her as she giggled at his flirting.

“Well, I am very happy to see you, too. I’m always glad that you’re my last stop of the day.” She smiled kindly at him and as much as he didn’t want to fully admit it, it made his heart skip a beat.

“Well, have you heard the news?” He had to stop himself from jumping on her that very moment as he spoke.

“Oh? What news, pray tell?��

“Seems they found a way to repopulate my species even though they couldn’t find a female.” A huge grin split across her face at the news and set the bucket of feed down beside her.

“Sasuke! That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!!” She called, leaning down and hugging him around his shoulders.

“Believe me, not as happy as I am…” He smirked as he slid his hands around her frame to return the hug, though he made sure to place his hands down low enough to finger at the edges of her bikini bottom’s leg seams. She pulled back from the hug but his arms only shifted to stay resting around her hips. His fingers still lightly toyed with the seams and he was only spurred on by how she didn’t seem to mind.

“So, how are they gonna do it? Artificial Womb? Another species of Shark that’s compatible?” She questioned happily, innocently.

“They figured out that I can mate with and breed a human. So they’re finding me a suitable mate. It’s still a 50/50 chance, like most other kinds of genes, if it’ll be a Mer or a Human. At least that’s what they think. They don’t exactly have a bunch of research to go off of to see whose genes might be stronger. Yet, at least.” He chuckled at his implications that made her blush. “I imagine they’ll have plenty of research by the end of this, though, since as of right now, it’s my job to repopulate my whole species.” Even with his hope and excitement to finally have the opportunity to breed and possibly even claim the caretaker that he’d been watching and yearning for since day one, he let out a rueful chuckle at the reason he even had this responsibility in the first place.

The— rather oblivious— subject of his affections sent him a small, sad smile to soothe him and immediately her kindness brought him back. It reminded him why he liked her in the first place— other than her magnificent body that was practically on display for him day after day in her little swimsuits. He returned a cocky smile and leaned closer to her, his form leaned in enough that she was forced to open her legs to let him settle between them. She still didn’t seem to see anything off about the position even when Sasuke took a deep breath through his nose. He could smell her cunt so close to him and he felt the supple skin of her ass where his fingers dipped under her swimsuit.

He decided to be bold and flexed his fingers to gently knead at the flesh, wiggling his fingers deeper into her suit. Subconsciously, she moved her thighs to try and close around him, just a bit, but it was enough to spur him on.

“I have an idea of a good mate candidate, though. In fact, I’d rather like it to be her. Even if she’s not on the list, I might even request her.” He spoke with a sultry tone, lids hanging low as he let his gaze slide over her form, taking in the swell of her tits in the tight-fitting swim top, up her neck, lingering on the empty canvas of her shoulders and neck, lingering for only a moment on her lips, before meeting her eyes once again.

He was instantly taken aback by the look in her eyes. She tried to hide it but her eyes had always been unwittingly expressive. Especially to Sasuke, he could tell how she was feeling with but a glance even as she did her best to disguise it with a contrasting expression. Even with the happy smile she had on, her eyes shone with a quiet disappointment. Just moments before, before he let his gaze wander over her body, she was truly happy for him and the situation. Happy that he could rebuild his species and bring it back from the brink of extinction.

“What’s wrong, Minnow?” He asked gently, delicately rubbing his thumb over the space where her hips met her ass.

“What? Nothing! Don’t worry!” She tried to smile reassuringly but her eyes still gave her away.

“Minnow, don’t lie to me. You know that I know when you don’t tell me the truth.” His voice turned just the slightest bit stern, just to encourage her to tell the truth. And it worked, her fake smile dropped and she bit her lip nervously with a defeated sigh, averting her gaze to the edge of his tank that still had tooth-shaped dents from when he first arrived as a scared pup, nervous around humans.

“I… I dunno.. I guess I’m kinda.. I dunno, something about you liking someone…” She trailed off and muttered something under her breath that even he couldn’t catch with his impeccable hearing.

“What was that?” He leaned in, head slightly turned to bring his frilled ear closer to her.

“Someone… Someone else…” She muttered again, this time just barely loud enough for him to hear.

“That I like someone else? What do you mean, Minnow?” He had immediately put it together and figured out what she meant. Elation filled his entire being at the revelation that she liked him, too. But he absolutely could not pass up a chance to tease her. It was immediately rewarding when her face flushed with heat and her facial muscles tensed in a way that indicated just how embarrassed she was.

“I-I.. Well.. I mean… It’s just that… Uhm…” She stuttered out, not able to get a single coherent sentence out. If he hadn’t absolutely loved teasing her and flustering her beyond belief, Sasuke would have been pained by the awkward sight. Taking mercy on her when it started to seem like she’d rather be anywhere but there, he put a stop to her sputtering by pushing forward and silencing her with his lips on hers.

She was stunned and frozen, eyes wide and calculating. He pulled back and looked at her with an amused smirk, a brow quirked as if silently asking ‘Do you get it now?’ She remained frozen for a moment, still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

“I-I… What? But… what about who you li-?” He cut her off with a flick to the forehead and a scoff whilst she yelped at the sudden feeling.

“Dummy. I was talking about you.” Sasuke said with an eye roll, still quite amused at her oblivion. Her eyes widened with the revelation and lit up with joy. Before he could tease her again, she launched forward and wrapped her arms around his shoulders to pull him into a deep kiss as she was too stunned to return the first one. With the sudden movement, Sasuke was forced to pull his hands away from her ass to stabilize them before she fell into his tank with the force that she shot forward. He wrapped a strong arm around her middle and grabbed onto the edge of the platform to hold them in place.

He chuckled at her enthusiasm and hummed against her lips as he hoisted her back onto the edge where she was sat. Eventually, she had to pull away for air but kept her arms around him and their foreheads nearly rested against each other.

“So… What do you say, Minnow?” He asked with a husky purr in his voice. Her eyes were glued to his lips, a haze around her mind after a kiss like that.

“Wha..?” He smirked teasingly at her and lifted his hand from around her to lightly grip her chin. Forcing her to look at him, she finally seemed to return to the moment, though she still looked vaguely confused.

“About the scientists’ little discovery?” He reminded her, his Minnow’s eyes lit up with recognition before her cheeks flushed with searing heat.

“I- uhm.. I really.. really like the sound of it…” Her blush somehow increased as her voice trailed off, though he heard her just fine. His sharp teeth peak out when he grins wolfishly at her.

“Well, then. Since I’ve already decided who I want my partner to be, might as well get started, right?” His words were husky with veiled excitement and sent a shiver down her spine, but she still managed to nod bashfully. She quickly glanced back at the separation to make sure it was closed before she carefully scooted towards the edge, making sure that she wouldn’t fall in. Willingly and consciously, she opened her legs even more, a clear invitation. Happy with her compliance, he hoisted himself up and slotted where his fleshy upper half met his scaly tail against her hips with his face just an inch or two above hers.

Without wasting a second, he dipped down to capture her lips again as he ground his genital slit against her awaiting, though clothed, sex. Shifting his weight onto one hand, he moved his other to the hem of her swimsuit bottoms just next to her wet pussy. His clawed fingers teased at the edge, never quite dipping in. He positioned his hand to fan his four fingers over the top of the inside of her thigh, his thumb at the hem. The tip of his finger, careful of his claw, lightly traced the sensitive skin just under it, teasing her even more. She whined into his mouth and just as he began the motion to give in and slide his thumb under the fabric and reach her weeping little cunt, the separation loudly slid open, announcing the arrival of someone else.

The two pulled apart in a panic, though the damage was already done. Whoever had walked in had caught them, though even if they hadn’t, the flushed faces and the way her thighs clamped together like a steel trap would have given them away.

“Well!” Tsunade declared with a single loud clap of her hands. “That makes things easier!” She approached the edge of the pool, pointedly ignoring that she had almost caught the two in the middle of his fingers buried in her cunt had she walked in even a minute later. “Sasuke, I have news for you. We found a way that you can-” She began, about to go on a long-winded speech about their discovery.

“Save my species. Yea. You and your assistant aren’t exactly the most quiet, y’know.” Sasuke cut her off and grumbled, clearly less than pleased that he had been interrupted. Tsunade looked surprised for only a moment before her mind caught up with the events. Sasuke knew about the discovery— that he could breed a human— and he had clearly chosen his future mate and he was ready to get started with the whole process. Perfect.

“Well! In that case, it would be in the best interest of the Research Team to watch you in the act, to help with future cases like this one, and to learn more about your species.” She explained, not leaving room for debate. Great. First, they got interrupted, now they have to wait for those Science Nerds to show up, and they’ll have an audience. Well, That last one Sasuke didn’t mind as much. He could show off that his little Minnow was his. They could watch as he bred her good and full, stuffing her with his cum and plugging her up with his knot to make sure that it took. To make sure that she’d be full with his offspring.

To his— and his Minnow’s— pleasure, it didn’t take too long for the rest of the Research Team to show up. At first, it made her flustered and shy but she was quickly distracted when Sasuke pulled himself back up between her thighs, level with her face.

“Don’t worry about them, ‘kay? Just focus on me. Focus on how I’m gonna breed you full…” His husky voice growled, nosing at the underside of her jaw. He nipped lightly at the skin there and reveled in the tremor it sent through her, even moreso the sweet gasped little moan she rewarded him with.

She nodded and turned her head towards him to recapture his lips. With a pleased rumble, he intertwined their tongues and nipped at her bottom lip with his sharp teeth. His Minnow hummed into the kiss and wrapped her legs around his hips. Gladly, he began grinding against her and appreciated the slickness that was dampening her swimsuit bottoms and soaking through onto his genital slit. They felt the eyes of the Research Team but chose to focus on each other instead. At least, she did. Sasuke kept an acute awareness of them watching them, watching him take what he wanted, what he had been wanting for months.

He reveled in her little moans that he captured with his lips, muffling her even more with his tongue invading further into her mouth. He shifted his weight onto one arm again and quickly moved back to the position he had been in when Tsunade walked in. His fingers toyed at the edge of her swimsuit then switched directions to rub his fingertips over the growing wet spot on the fabric, coating his fingers and claws in her slickness. He hummed against her neck and nibbled the skin to leave a mark on her skin. Gods, he wanted to mark her so badly. Wanted to claim her and make her his forever after but he supposed that would have to wait until after he bred her full.

That was a very efficient claim in its own right. Her moans flowed freely into the air as she tossed her head back and gave him more space to mark up and lave over with his long, rough tongue. He couldn’t wait anymore, he decided, and shifted his hand to the edge of her bottoms again, deftly wiggling under the seam and reaching her bare cunt. She let out a squeak at the sudden, though very much not unwelcome, intrusion, his fingers directly stimulating the sensitive skin.

“Sa-Sasuke…” She whimpered, suddenly aware of how empty she felt, her wet hole spasming around nothing.

“My good little Minnow…” He hummed and pressed kisses down the column of her throat until he reached the top of her translucent coverup. He quietly growled at the layer of separation and reluctantly pulled his hand away from her dripping cunt to rip through the thin material with his claws, eliciting a gasp from his girl. He didn’t pay attention to the little pout she sent him, though he did silently appreciate it, making a mental note to make her do it again.

Quickly enough, he hesitated for only a moment about tearing her bathing suit since it made her tits look so pretty. He compromised with himself to tug at the crisscross straps showing off her cleavage first, watching the way it shifted her breasts and made them jiggle when he released it. He tugged the fabric down over her tit slightly and shifted his hold to cup her breast and manually pull it out the rest of the way, seeing the way her nipple stiffened in the cold air. Only then, after appreciating the sight and locking it in place in his memory, did he hook his clawed finger into the strap once again and snapped it easily enough, letting it unravel until it hung loosely around her neck, the bottom half falling to the ground behind her back with her coverup top.

“Sasuke!” She yelped, “I could have just untied it you know!” She huffed, making him chuckle at her.

“But where’s the fun in that, Minnow?” He teased, cutting off any more complaints by dipping his head to take a nipple into his mouth, swirling his long tongue around the hardened bud.

“Should we prompt him to get to the actual mating? Or-” A member of the Research Team spoke up, sounding flustered at just watching the foreplay.

“No. Let it happen naturally, we would only rush the process if it was detrimental to getting it done as quickly as possible. That would be more likely with a female specimen since most species’ females have only a short fertile period. Males are usually constantly fertile unless they lose potency with old age, but with Sasuke, we clearly don’t have to worry about that. Leave him be.” Shizune reprimanded him, cutting him off sharply and trying to keep her voice down to prevent disturbing Sasuke.

He appreciated the thought but couldn’t resist the eye roll at their discussion, talking like he wasn’t even actually there. He must have accidentally released an unconscious growl because his sweet little Minnow reached her arms up to hold him, tangling her fingers into his hair, encouraging him to switch his attention fully on her again. He sent a grateful look up to her and pressed a soft kiss to her breast before he lowered himself further into the water, moving his hands to hold both of her thighs.

At first, she was confused until he pushed her skirt further up to her hips and tugged at the waistband of her suit bottoms, generously offering her to not rip them to shreds. She let out a breathy chuckle and leaned back on her hands to lift her hips for him. Before he pulled them off, he pressed a kiss to her clothed core, sending a jolt of electricity up her spine. She whimpered when he pulled away, taking her bottoms with her, exposing her dripping cunt to the cold evening air.

He smirked at her reaction and didn’t give her time to readjust before he dove in and shoved his face between her thighs. He lapped at her cunt hungrily and sucked headily on her clit. Immediately, the sensations had her squirming and whining, her hands buried in his hair, unsure if she wanted to push him closer or tug him away from the immense pleasure almost immediately overwhelming her senses. Sasuke hummed appreciatively at the taste of his little Minnow. She really lived up to her name with the way he was devouring her. The slurping sounds resounded all around the shelter around his pool and filled the ears of his good little Minnow, Tsunade, Shizune, and the rest of the Research Team. Most of them shifted in their seats, unsure if they were aroused or envious. A mix of both, they decided.

Letting up on the suction on her clit, he dipped his head down to wiggle his tongue into her, squirming against all the sensitive spots in her cunt. He replaced the stimulation on her clit with his thumb, pressing on it and rubbing rough circles on the sensitive bundle of nerves. The sensations overwhelming her cunt before she could even adjust to the temperature had cries of pleasure soaring out of her throat into the air. When his tongue shifted in just the right way, in just the right spots and his thumb teasing her clit with just the right pressure, she couldn’t hold back the scream of ecstasy or the sharp tug of his long hair as she creamed around his tongue, her juices flowing into his mouth as he kept up his movements. He moaned against her and happily swallowed her liquid pleasure.

He kept lapping at her cunt until she was practically sobbing and pulling at his hair to escape the overstimulation. Granting her mercy, he finally pulled away and pressed an apologetic kiss to her inner thigh, though she could tell he wasn’t sorry in the slightest. She panted to regain her breath from the way her powerful orgasm pulled the air from her lungs. In a soothing motion, Sasuke gently pulled himself up and pressed his lips to the hollow of her throat, stroking over her thigh until she could breathe regularly again. Then, with a deep kiss full of tongue and teeth and passion, he slotted his hips against hers with his member free.

The slick appendage wiggled in the cool evening air in search of warmth to bury itself in. She hummed into his mouth when the narrowed tip stroked over her glistening pussy lips. She was still sensitive from the orgasm he’d wrenched from her but the want to be filled up overpowered the overwhelm of it. Sasuke smirked against her lips and separated their kiss with a trail down to her jaw, then to her neck, then to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. The empty plot of skin was so tantalizing and his teeth ached with the want- the need to sink his teeth into her and fully claim her. Mark her as his.

That’ll have to wait, he reminded himself. Now’s not the time to focus on that. Now is the time to breed her greedy little pussy. Fill her up with pups and keep on filling her up, over and over again. She’s a good little girl, so eager for being knotted and bred. She’ll be an even better little mate, he encouraged himself in his mind to wait just a little longer. Just a bit longer and she’d be his good little mate. First, he had to thoroughly breed her tight little cunt. With that thought in mind, he pushed forward, pressing his length closer to her entrance. His long, slimy tongue laved over her skin as he nibbled and sucked on the skin to leave little marks that would satisfy his urge to claim her for now.

“Fu-u-uck, Sasuke..!” She called, circling her hips to try and coax his cock into her. When it didn’t work at first, she wrapped her legs around his form and pulled him closer, her one arm wrapped around his shoulders, the other working with his to hold them steadily on the edge to not fall in. His other hand still kneaded at her thigh and precisely dug his thumb into the flesh to coax it more open to her pretty little pussy.

“Don’t worry, Minnow, I’ve got you.” He muttered against her flesh before he pulled back to rest his forehead against her shoulder to look down at where they would soon be connected. Looking past her tantalizing tits, he watched as his member squirmed against her, sliding through her folds in search of her greedy hole. Finally, it caught on the edge of the convulsing muscles and immediately began slithering in. The Research Team all jolted to lean forward when she sharply inhaled a gasp. The guy from before seemed the most interested. He was leaned forward the most and his gaze was heavy. The way he stared so intently made a fire burn in Sasuke. It was a mix of jealousy and pride, though it was more cockiness than pride, really.

It infuriated him that someone would look that intently at his mate, especially when she was so vulnerable. So exposed. His instincts yelled at him to cover her whole body with his own, even pull her into the water away from prying eyes but logic, thankfully, won out knowing that it would be dangerous as his little Minnow, despite her nickname couldn’t breathe underwater. Yet, he reminded himself, once she was good and full with his pups and claimed, her body would undergo changes to properly care for the pups for the chances that it was a mer. The cockiness reinforced his reasoning, as well. The cockiness that cried out in pride that she was his mate. That the bastard could look all he wanted but his good little Minnow was his to touch. His to hold. His to pleasure and enjoy.

Nonetheless, the mer lowly growled from where his head rested on his little mate’s shoulder, side-eyeing a glare at the man with a cocky smirk pulling at the edge of his mouth. The hand around his shoulders slid up to his hair and gently carded through it, soothing him back to the moment where he was about to fuck her senseless. Almost immediately, a low rumbling emanated from his chest, it was almost like a purr. With a shocked giggle bubbling from his Minnow’s throat, Sasuke quickly diverted her thoughts to her throbbing core once again when he quickly canted his hips into hers.

The gasp she let out was rewarding and had him rumbling deeply in satisfaction. He buried himself to the hilt and stayed there for a moment to let her adjust. He knew he was larger than most human males— a fact that filled him with pride— and that his phallus was greatly different from them, shape, texture, and mobility-wise. His cock squirmed inside her, satisfied with the heat, and moved in search of her pleasure spots. His instincts led him to wanting to pleasure his partner just as much, if not more, than the pleasure he received. His instincts knew that if his partner orgasmed it heightened the chances of his seed taking. As if he needed any help. His species’ seed was very potent and his thick, firm knot would keep his mate plugged up to ensure that none of his seed leaked and lessened the chances of impregnation, even if only by a fraction. With the stream of sharp, almost surprised moans and gasps coming from his mate, he could tell his phallus was doing its job.

“F-fuck- Sasuke- Sasuke, please~!” She whined, burying her hand firmly in his locks, though not tugging. Her incoherent plea was enough for him to comply and rest enough weight on the hand planted on the firm round behind her to easily use his other hand, wrapped around her hip with a tight grip, to move his hips back. The water rippled behind him and splashed quickly up against the corner wall of his pool and hitting the backs of her thighs and the top of his tail as he snapped his hips forward again. He did this a few more times, slowly pulling out until only his wriggling tip stayed inside her wet heat and thrusting his hips forward quickly and powerfully. He tried to keep up the teasing pace but he couldn’t take it anymore.

He needed to breed her. Breed her tight little pussy. Fill her up with cum and make her belly swell with his young. With surprising speed, he set a bruising pace and filled her clenching walls with his wriggling cock over and over again. He could hear the Research Team mumbling amongst themselves, comparing notes or some shit that he couldn’t bring himself to care about but the noise itself was enough to ignite his possessiveness. The hand planted on the ground clenched and scratched at the cement. His sharp claws dug into the hard surface and scraped deep lines into it, taking the rubble with it. His other hand gripped tighter and ended up ripping her skirt where it rested around her hips. He paid little mind to it— as did his good girl— and simply kept up with his pace, though he vaguely recognized that the material was essentially unsalvageable with tearing it so much whilst it was bunched up the way it was. With a growl and a fire lit in his eyes, he smashed his lips against his Minnow’s and claimed her mouth all over again. His tongue delved deep enough to almost choke her. She didn’t gag but her throat lightly convulsed against the foreign feeling before he pulled the appendage back. He only wanted it to be pleasurable for her. No discomfort.

His hips kept up the heavy pace as he buried himself to the hilt again and again. Pulling back from her lips, a thick strand of saliva kept them connected before he leaned back in and licked it away from her kiss-swollen bottom lip. As if on pure instinct, he immediately shifted to her neck and left bites and hickeys on the side he hadn’t yet marked up. All the while, he never relented on his pace, water splashing around him and creating small waves into the rest of the vast water at his back. His member continued to squirm inside her, aiming for each and every one of her pleasure spots and slipping easily into all the nooks and crannies of her inner velvety walls.

Her voice trembled as she cried out in pleasure and shifted her hips to meet his thrusts, subsequently forcing his cock deeper inside her. The pointed tip was forced all the way to her cervix. The wriggling pointed head met her cervix directly, immediately beginning a venture to enter the deepest part of her. Sasuke and Y/n both let out groans of pleasure at the feeling, hers more a surprised noise quickly transformed into a drawn-out whine of bliss while his was one of pure ecstasy at the feeling of claiming his Minnow so deeply. So deep inside her that no one would ever be able to claim her as he had. Not that anyone else would ever get the opportunity to try. No, she was his mate. And he would ensure that her body knew that by thoroughly breeding her over and over again. She would not be without pup for long, breeding her to her heart’s content.

Without much reprieve, Sasuke returned to his brutal pace, jackhammering his hips into hers as he buried his face in her neck. His claws dug heavily into the pavement, cracking it even more with his strength and his other hand kept a bruising grip on her hip, not that she minded the marks it would leave behind. His marks. Her walls fluttered around his cock as he mercilessly pounded into her. Her moans echoed around the walls and went higher in pitch when the cord in her belly was pulled taut again.

“Sasuke- Fuck- Please!” She whined and bucked her hips. The Research Team, from their positions leaning forward to see the pair better, could see his muscles contracting and his hands gripped tighter— though he remained aware and careful with his hold on her flesh. They could tell he was rapidly approaching his climax and they were all on the edge of their seats— literally and figuratively— to see it. His thrusts slowly became sloppier and his grunts and growls became more frequent, his nips at her neck did, too.

What the scientists couldn’t see and his little Minnow hadn’t noticed was the swelling bulge at the base of his wriggling cock. It was stiffer than the rest of his member and steadily grew in size and mass. As his thrusts gained more reckless force and speed it began to catch on the edge of her hole. That made her notice. When she felt the bulging knot catch on her hole a louder moan ripped from her throat. The wide eyes of the Research Team snapped to her and watched her come undone. Her back arched, her toes curled, her nails dug into his shoulder and scratched angsty red lines into the skin, her mouth hung open in a silent scream as she gushed around his member. The convulsing and contracting of her walls around him had Sasuke closer to his own end.

His knot swelled to full size and with a final rough thrust, it pressed hard against her gushing little cunt before it popped inside her. Another wave of ecstasy rushed through her and sent her into another wave of orgasm before her last one even finished. A loud, high-pitched cry escaped into the room and practically vibrated the walls. Her orgasm’s ecstasy lasted for what felt like forever as his white hot seed shot into her. His narrow tip had wiggled past her cervix and sent his cum directly into her womb. His potent seed filled her up and filled her lower belly with delicious warmth that kept her in a state of blissed-out pleasure. She shivered in her fucked out haze as Sasuke filled her up with spurt after spurt of spunk.

“You did so good, Minnow. My good girl, took my cum so fuckin’ well. Gonna be such a good momma.” He purred in her ear, licking the spot just under it.

“Is it done? Did he do it?” The guy spoke lowly to the rest of the Research Team and Y/n and Sasuke barely resisted the urge to roll their eyes.

“If I had to take a guess, I’d say yes.” Tsunade said sarcastically. Sasuke licked at the bites and dark hickeys on his Minnow’s neck and shoulder to soothe any aches and to help the deeper ones heal faster. His member pulsated inside her as he recovered from his powerful orgasm. He had touched himself before to the thought of her but he never could have anticipated just how good she felt around him. He felt like he was in Heaven with her so tightly wrapped around him. Her heat clenching around his cock so snugly.

In the afterglow of their orgasms, Sasuke felt his arm getting tired from holding himself up and his tail aching from exhaustion from thrusting inside his little mate while keeping himself from falling back into the pool. Carefully, he maneuvered her in his hold to gently pull her into the water with him, though making sure they didn’t go under. Her grip on him tightened and her other arm shot to wrap around his shoulders making him chuckle. The deep sound sent a shiver down her spine and a blush to her cheeks as well as a vibration through her body from where their chests were pressed together. As an afterthought, Sasuke quickly discarded the ruined fabric of her skirt to the edge of the tank before he continued on with his movements with her.

“Don’t worry, Minnow.” He cooed to her as he moved to float on the water with her on his chest, slightly swishing his tail to keep them afloat. “I won’t let you fall in. Promise.” He nosed at her temple and pressed a kiss there.

“How do you feel?” Tsunade asked, addressing his little Mate.

“Full. Warm.” She spoke dazedly, snuggling into his chest comfortably.

“Good. From the looks of it, you should be pregnant in no time. We’ll monitor your progress and stats to make sure everything is all good and we’ll set up on-site lodgings for you. Let us know as soon as you find out when you’re pregnant. Since we observed this time, we technically don’t have to observe more of the breeding and mating but if it didn’t take this time, I’d like to observe your next session just to see if there are any differences, if that's okay with you. And, I’d like to ask, is there anything that we didn’t see that happened?” Tsunade inquired, eyes flicking between the couple and her notepad.

“Well.. Right now, we’re stuck.” Sasuke’s little Mate spoke softly, almost unsure.

“‘Stuck’? What do you mean?” Shizune asked, incredibly intrigued.

“I knotted her. We’re tied together until it goes down.” Sasuke spoke up, his voice slightly annoyed like he wanted this to be over and to have time alone with his good little Minnow.

“So you’re species has a knot! Interesting!” She spoke excitedly and quickly scribbled it down in her notepad. Sasuke huffed and nuzzled into his Mate’s hair and inhaled her scent. Her scent, enhanced by the vigorous physical activity and it sent a fuzzy pleasurable haze to his brain that had his chest rumbling with a purr.

“Well, I don’t believe there’s anything else we need to observe, so let’s all head out and leave the couple be. And yes, that means everyone.” Tsunade spoke, adding sharply at the end as her harsh gaze landed on the guy that had been far too invested with the view. Sasuke, glad that the woman had realized their want for privacy, let out a small, quiet sigh of relief and watched them all file out. He glared and bared his teeth at the guy who insisted on leaving last and walked slowly to glance back at them. When he saw the Mer’s expression, he quickly filed out with the others. The raven-haired Mer stroked over his Mate’s bare back and soothed her hip where his grip had surely planted bruises.

“Gonna be such a good momma to our pups. Such a good mate. So so good.” He cooed at her and planted kisses on her face before landing on her lips. It was sweet compared to the rough, lustful, and debauched kisses from not long ago. His cock remained buried inside her with his knot plugging her up to keep his hot cum, his potent seed inside, to make sure she was properly and thoroughly bred. She hummed happily against his lips and relaxed against him as he slowly guided them to the small island trainers coaxed him onto during shows where they could simply rest.

Once they were settled, it didn’t take long for them to drift off, pleasurable heat warming them both and lulling them into a comfortable state. His knot remained full whilst they drifted and stayed as such for a while after they fell asleep. His member easily slipped out of her and back into his sheath once his knot softened enough. They stayed comfortably cuddled together until morning when the sound of the separation sliding open echoed in the otherwise silent area. In walked Shizune with a towel, clothes, and a kind smile as she approached the edge of the pool.

“Good morning. I know your clothes were, unfortunately, damaged,” she sent a teasing look at Sasuke who blushed and looked away with a small ‘hmph’, “so I thought I’d bring you a change of clothes. I’d also like to give you a small physical check-up after last night to make sure everything is all good and dandy. Afterwards, I have breakfast inside for you.” The kind woman spoke gently with a soft gaze.

“Oh, thank you, Miss Shizune! I really appreciate it.” Y/n smiled at her and looked back at Sasuke to silently communicate if it was okay for her to leave for a bit. He wasn’t quite pleased with it but he knew it was more than reasonable. To show his understanding he leaned up and captured her lips sweetly as his hands softly ran over the skin of her back and sides. Carefully, she lifted herself off of him, slightly wincing at the soreness in her hips and between her thighs. Instantly, he moved and held onto her firmly as he maneuvered them both further into the water to swim her back to the edge. Kissing him in silent thanks, she climbed out and accepted the towel with a smile at Shizune.

“See you in a bit, Minnow,” Sasuke said, he rested his chin on his crossed arm on the edge and looked up at her, admiring the view of her naked body. He was so used to staring at her in her cute little swimsuits and just imagining what she would look like without the coverage and actually seeing it was so much better than anything he could have imagined. The planes and curves of her body were so enticing that he knew he would never get tired of seeing her bare like that. Seeing her stomach as she dropped the towel to put on the clothes Shizune brought, he couldn’t wait to see it swell his child, to have physical evidence that she’s his.

“See you soon, love.” She cooed back at him as she pulled the shirt over her head after she buttoned the skirt closed. His whole face perked up at the nickname and he couldn’t stop the purr that erupted from his chest. Chuckling, she kneeled down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before she stood to leave.

Exiting the shelter, she saw that the separation to the Aquatic Water Serpents was open while the morning crew did their rounds and fed the Mers, and performed check-ups if necessary. The younglings were occupied with the feeders and if any of them needed check-ups while Iruka was freely resting in the tank. When he saw her and Shizune passing by he quickly made his way to the edge to get to them.

“Hey.” He got their attention with a hiss, though remained quiet enough to not attract the attention of the younglings, “You’re lucky the younglings were already asleep down in the cove with how loud you were being.” He hissed out with a slight glare with no real heat behind it. Instantly, her face erupted with heat as her eyes widened in mortification. With a shrill whine of embarrassment, she buried her face in her hand with a muffled apology to the serpent. With Sasuke’s separation left open for the morning crew, he heard Iruka’s words and smirked. He was suddenly smug like he had never been before. A cockiness filled his chest as he reveled in the knowledge that he had made his Mate feel so good that she was loud enough to be heard through the walls. Instantly, he made the decision to ensure that he always made her feel that good.

He’d have her screaming his name every time.

— — —

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥:

@frosch-thefrog @hellsingalucard18

[furinana]

The undertones behind Walter and Jonathan's relationship that you might not know about

I'll be calling attention to traits present in their dynamic that are unknown to most players in the West due to incomplete localization.

Now... where do we begin? Oh, right. In the part after you're done with Naraku and get to spend the holiday with the other two.

This scene is presented in almost the same way in both languages but Jonathan's reaction seems emphasized on a specific word in the Japanese script.

"T...t-t... that's crude, Walter. I would never... such a thing like that to women..."

In either case, if this ended at Jonathan's response, it would be mostly nothing worth commenting on. Jonathan is the Law representative raised by a family that worked in the Monastery so naturally he's gonna behave in a more chaste way, correct?

But then you have Walter's posture becoming uncomfortable followed by immediately changing subjects as if he's already in the know of what Jonathan was anxious about compared to the player (thus Flynn) being rather out of loop about what was going on.

The thing is... the meaning was actually already available for the players, even prior to SMTIV's release! That is, if you accessed the official website and clicked on the interviews with the Japanese voice actors (which included in-character voice clips). All of the translations presented in this post were done by takujilvr

"I'll only tell you this because it's you, all right? Only because it's you! I'm afraid I can't bring myself to like women very much. Being raised in a household with two elder sisters and one younger made me lose any illusions about them I might've had. You're a man, so I feel much more at ease with you."

Certainly, he doesn't seem to specifically refer to anyone in this clip. It could be Flynn or probably anyone else as long as they're a male.

But there are other voice clips aside this one that point towards a more definitive interpretation.

"Enough of that "Ooh, you'll catch cold!" drivel, Jonathan, you sound like a naggy old wife. I can't abide being constricted, this chest must stay bared!"

"S-Stop pulling my hair, Walter! It won't straighten out, I got it from my mother!"

They don't have voice clips directly acknowledging anyone else, leading to the impression that Walter and Jonathan were being more marketed as a duo over their dynamic with the main character.

But the shocking reveal comes with this one:

"I'll only say this if you promise not to tell anyone! Cats, I just love 'em. When I see one outside, I can't help but crouch down and give it some pets! Wait, no. I mean, listen, I can't stand fish. And they can take it off my hands, can't they? That's why I love cats. Right."

A player that reached the part where the party gets hit by Yaso Magatsuhi's scent in Roppongi will thus connect the dots:

How one interprets the twist of this scene might change entirely with the voice clip in mind. It opens the possibility that, differently from many players' assumptions, Jonathan was acting like a feline not because he's secretly a cat lover. But, most likely, due to WALTER liking them. And he would have no way of knowing that unless Walter told him off-screen.

To summarize...

Jonathan is unable to feel attraction for girls and feels more comfortable with guys which would be inevitably an obstacle for his future considering his conservative background

Walter has phobia of fish despite what his family does for trade and has a soft spot for cats specifically because they eat them for him which would be defined as a 'weakness' to his self-reliant image

1 and 2 are each most's intimate secret and they revealed them for each other

"But how much does this add to the main plot?" Even when pushing aside subtleties from this extra material, attentive Megaten veterans would notice that the Law & Chaos representatives from SMTIV have an explicitly close bond compared to most characters of opposing sides in other titles of the mainline series.

[Jonathan was the most visibly affected by their breakup]

This extra material essentially adds more to the range of interpretation regarding their intimacy while also making them more relatable beyond their surface of Law & Chaos pieces.

On this note, moments where they "crack" their own alignments also happen briefly in-game.

They were two boys of the same age that became instant close friends however became unable to conciliate the differences emphasized by their caste system and reach the understanding of what would be the best for everyone.

All of this leads to the player's realization that Jonathan and Walter ultimately didn't perfectly antagonize each other as humans but were "pushed" towards their extreme roles by ulterior forces that would subsequently be further exposed in the sequel.

[usuallyrated2stars]

EP 18 SPOILERS (art, then I start discussing full episode thoughts)

I'm sicker than Tissues right now but I HAD to draw SOMETHING. I hope to draw more when I'm feeling better

Anyways, I cannot be the only one who was like "istg if they name that damn hotel PAYJAY". Fan's not even surprised they got together, he's shocked they said the thing...the thing!!

With my delusions out of the way, I have Many Thoughts™. I got my average yearly (and final, probably) dose of a Tissues and Trophy line, which is great. I thought it was a little underwhelming when Cobs pulled out some random sword knife lookin thing, but his voice actor was absolutely GODLIKE.

All of the water-related incidents with Box absolutely kill me now. Jesus.

MePhone4's final scene really feels like a good wrap to him. I was discussing with a friend about how we wanted his story to go, with her thinking it was best for him to let everyone die and for him to move on, and me thinking it was best for him to continue his interest in showbusiness, but what actually happened makes the most sense. He's just gotta go on and do something for himself, just like all of his former contestants are.

Speaking of which, the possibilities of the fates of the contestants have so much potential! I don't really want some spin off from Animation Epic. I want fanfics and comics and headcanons from the community! I have the perfect opportunity to indulge in OC x Canon now, and I can't wait to see what people do with the characters now as they rebuild!! UGHHH I love object shows and their communities!! (Just stay off of Twitter.)

I might make more art stuffs later! (Jam-packed with thoughts, probably, too) Thanks for reading or not!! :D

Edit: OH YEAH BYVTHE F**KING WAY WTH WAS THAT COBS DEATH SCENE??!?!?!? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WENT "yeah I'm cooking" brother QHAT

[theflagscene]

And we’re back, let the live commentary insanity continue -

That’s a lot of slutty thigh on display First, they should’ve given him a big ass thigh tattoo.

Style trying to get to know Fadel more, I wanna believe that he’s making an effort but at the same time, gotta keep in mind that he’s just doing this to get information for Kant. Poor Fadel, he wants to be normal, even thought he keeps hinting at Style that them staying together isn’t a great idea. He’s at war with his own mind.

Haha! Kant walking in on them post shag session, and he was all ready to be like: Bison’s gonna ki…hi there Fadel!

He’s got a point, Kant. What can Style do? You dragged his ass into this situation without disclosing the whole story and now he’s stuck.

That’s fucking mean, Style! ‘You’re my boyfriend, you have to help out my friend.’ He already knows he has Fadel wrapped around his little finger. I dunno why but this scene is reminding me of an interview/game with BossNoeul & FortPeat where they had to drink lemon juice for some reason and Noeul poured like nearly all of his juice into Peat’s glass and Peat just let him before all innocently saying: Fort, do you love me? Which prompted Fort to down the whole shot in one go, whilst Peat just looked smug about it. I dunno, this whole interaction between Fadel, Style and Kant reminds me of that for some reason. It’s just the vibe, ya know?

Wait wait wait, this is the second time Kant has called Fadel ‘Phi’. Now is this just a respect thing, because he’s Bison’s older brother and Kant is trying to score some brownie points. Or is Fadel supposed to be 30? Because Kant is 29, Style is 26 and Bison is 24. But we’ve yet to get a vocal acknowledgment of how old Fadel is.

I find their character ages so funny, since First is the oldest and Dunk is the youngest and they’re all 26/24. Yet the actual actors at the company that are in their 30’s are still being forced to play 18 year old freshman in uni lol! Someone at GMMTV gotta get their shit together, I stg man.

Serious bruising? Style is totally into that.

James, you’re playing with fire dude! You gonna get burnt. Although I do believe you, that Kant is a douchebag. He absolutely has major fuckboy energy, the use ‘em and lose ‘em type.

Bison knowing that James was coming with that plank before he even got two steps, lol, the eye roll on that boy, so sassy!

Nothing like beating up a sleazy bookie with the Virgin Mary watching your back lol!

First, I adore you, but you run so funny.

Oh, he’s pissed! Bison, don’t break the damn window.

Calm? Really? You call the calm? Bison, you little hot headed idiot, I adore you.

[spaceorphan18]

If you had to cast the Bridgerton actors into glee 09-15 as special guests stars, have you any thoughts on who any of them could be? I could see Jonathan Bailey as a cousin of someone, maybe Blaine (and bring back Cooper) or Rachel. Or pick a Bridgerton actor as love interest for any of the glee characters? Or a mother figure or mad teacher?

So. I thought about this all the way to and all the way from my doctor's appointment today. And the more I thought about it, the more fun I had with it, lol! I have soooo many thoughts, so you're getting a whole bunch of ideas, Nonny!

Btw, I realized that the Bridgerton actors are, on average, younger than the Glee cast! Isn't that wild? Mostly because it's been so long since Glee was on the air.

So, I came up with story lines for a hypothetical Glee Season 7 -- that takes place solely in New York, and ignores about half the plot points of Season 6, lol. Oh, and I decided the Bridgerton actors are playing characters with the same or similar names because I'm too lazy to create new character names for this kind of thing.

Oh. And. Apparently, Glee makes everything just a smudge gayer, lol.

I hope the five of you who don't mind me continuing these crossover things enjoy this <3

*****

Nicola Coughlan...

... (as a season long guest star) plays Penny, a quirky, fun loving, gossipy student from Ireland, come to New York to study script writing. She and Kurt take the same class, and Kurt thinks she's the greatest thing ever, and the two become joined at the hip (much to Rachel's chagrin; Blaine doesn't mind one bit). She and Kurt decide to work on a project together -- writing a play about a drama school -- it takes them the whole year to do (and of course, they put it on at the end of the season/year).

And I mean -- I'm not out here advocating for people to be in Ryan Murphy productions -- but if anyone could really sell one of his bonkers characters, it'd be Nicola Coughlan.

2. Rege-Jean Page...

...plays Simon; a hot, young TA for stage combat and movement, and every one has lined up to take the class.

3. Pheobe Dynevor...

...plays Daphne, a young girl whom Quinn is mentoring. She ends up pregnant and alone, after her boyfriend dumps her. Quinn takes her under her wing, and helps her figure her life out.

4. Jonathan Bailey...

...as Tony, Cooper Anderson's just as neurotic, weird, and attention seeking roommate, who also wants to be an actor. The two of them have a ridiculous love/hate relationship, which makes staying with Blaine (and Kurt) question whether or not they might actually be in a relationship together. (The answer is no, but Tony is gay, and he and Cooper are ultimately fond of each other)

(if there's another person who could also really go all in when it comes to eccentric Ryan Murphy characters -- it'd be Jonny Bailey.)

5. Jessica Madsen

...as Cress, a waitress at the same bar where Santana works. She's has a fiery streak about her, and goes toe to toe with Santana. She's also a lesbian. There's a regular enemies to lovers thing going here.

6. Claudia Jessie

...as Ellie. She's the student director of the all-female play that Rachel is starring in. She doesn't really like Rachel, and felt somewhat forced to have her in the production, but deals with her anyway. She's smart and clever and really opinionated and very direct, and she and Rachel butt heads a lot. But Rachel becomes a better person after being in the production and having Ellie really help her get her shit together.

7. Adjoa Andoh

...as Mercedes's favorite aunt, Agatha. She's in town and helps Mercedes decide how to move forward in her life. (And also shows up to attend the wedding between Mercedes and Sam.)

8. Luke Thompson

...as Ben, Tina's new boyfriend. Who figures out he's bisexual when he does a play with Blaine. Blaine helps him figure out his sexuality (not personally - Klaine is still very much a thing) but it's alright, he does actually like Tina, too, and they stay together. :)

9. Yerin Ha

...as Sophie, Mike's girlfriend-turned-fiancee. She is not at all in the entertainment industry, and Tina decides she doesn't like her. Until she meets her, and thinks she's great. It gives Tina and Mike a chance for some real closure.

10. Golda Rosheuvel

...as Char. She takes over NYADA after Carmen Tibideaux retires, and she makes Carmen seem kind and charming.

11. Hannah Dodd

...as Frannie. Artie sees her in a coffee shop once and becomes obsessed with her -- wanting her to be the star of his movie. He searches the entire city for her, only to find that she works in the building next door as an accountant (who loves her day job). She won't star in his movie, but she does agree (eventually) to go on a date with him.

12. Victor Alli

...as Johnny, Brittany's new best friend, a rich, handsome, world traveler, who is using Brittany's intelligence to help him in his scientific work. It's a season runner -- where she always mentions him, but everyone thinks it's just Brittany just being Brittany, until he shows up at the end of the season to be completely real.

14. Martins Imhangbe

...as Willy. He runs the piano bar they all go to (and Santana works at). He doesn't really like theater, and finds the kids annoying, but hey, it's a living.

15. Simone Ashley

...as Katie. She rides a motorcycle, and frequents the piano bar, and Santana is obsessed with her the whole year. Santana finally figures out how to talk to her, and the two hook up, but Katie does not have time for Santana's bitchy shenanigans, and puts Santana in her place.

(I don't know why my brain wanted this to happen, but my brain wanted this to happen.)

16. Luke Newton

...as Colin, Elliot's younger, half-brother, whom he hasn't seen in years. He's in New York to try to reconnect with Elliot (and hey, why not form a new band and bond through music). Kurt hates him. Mostly because he's way too distracting to Penny, and my god, they have to get their script done!!

(See...tying it all together ;) ... also, things I never knew I needed - Luke Newton to work with Adam Lambert.)

17. ...and Julie Andrews

...as Kurt's Grandma Hummel. Because it's what Chris always wanted. :)

Alright, I know I didn't get everyone (Sorry Ruth Gemmell, I just couldn't think of anything!) But man, now I want/wish we had all of these things. :D

[lazycrow12]

Alright, before I start I would like to preface this. I have not read the Odyssey. I don't plan to read the Odyssey. This post will be based on someone who has no connection to the Odyssey. I will say that I have heard somethings about it from people posting about it so I know about what Book!Calypso did to book!Oddeysus and I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the epic version so please keep that in mind when reading please and thank you. Now, onto the post

My Thoughts On Calypso And How She's Being Treated By The Fandom

TW: Mentions of 🍇, I'll warn you when it appears

Firstly, I love Calypso. I love her story and how tragic it is and how she handles it and how it has affected her. Her voice actor Barbara Wangui has an absolutely lovely voice. I love how light and airy it is while still conveying emotions and I love the way she makes Calypso sound in the songs. I also love Calypso herself, GiGi's design is very pretty and the animatics they did show her emotions very well. Love the frame in Love In Paradise where Calypso ask about Penelope and Odysseus saying she's his wife and Calypso just surprise Pikachu face before crying and moving on. Love it, hilarious. However her character is really compelling. She's someone that never had anyone and was left to her punishment of solitude and when she finally has another person around she has to watch as he chooses to leave and she's left all alone again. She spends the time trying to show Oddeysus the place and how it has all they could want or need and show him that he can stay here forever with her. We as the audience know that Oddeysus is a wife guy and wants to get home to her and his son but Calypso doesn't know that and probably doesn't fully get that someone would want to leave this perfect paradise and return to their original home. She spends the next 7 years trying to get him to stay and convince him this place is good, that she's good to stay with but we see how that affects him to the point he's willing to end himself if he can't go home. Then when he's given the opportunity he doesn't hesitate to leave to go home and leave Calypso on this island. I'm sure everyone can already see things from Oddeysus point of view but I'd like to frame it all in Calypso's to see where she's coming from and why she acts this way.

From Calypso's POV she's been stuck in this island alone for 100 years, no friends, no family, no visitors. No one can come or go, this island stays unknown. That includes her, she can't leave the island, if she wanted to I feel she would've at this point but she's been casted away so this is more than likely a punishment for her. She spends her life in this place, talking to herself and the critters on the island, accepting a long time ago that this will be her life forever when all of a sudden she sees it. A person. A real person for the first time in a century. Sure he's beaten, bruised, scared and barely breathing but he's alive and he's here. In Calypso's eyes this must be an answer to her prayers. Sure he's not receptive to her affection but that's fine, he's been through a lot so it's gonna take time to feel comfortable again. Sure he sits on the beach upset but that's fine, she more than likely did the same in her early days here. Sure he wants to go home but this is his home now, he can't leave the island (she's tried) but he'll learn to love it just like she had learn to. Sure he tried to jump off a cliff but who hasn't? She's sure she can help, she's sure her love will be enough for him. The years go by and nothing seems to work but she's not one to just give up like that. She'll get him to see that he loves it here, the island is perfect and with the 2 of them they won't be lonely. Then a god comes and takes him away. She goes to say goodbye to him and ends up letting out all her emotions and feelings out, of not understanding why nothing worked, of why the moments she believed they had weren't enough, of why he can't just love her like she loves him. And he's gone. And she's alone again. Heartbroken and alone.

Calypso has been on this island all her life, alone and isolated. Told from a young age just how much she wasn't wanted and left to spend the rest of eternity on her own. No one to talk to, help her, guide her, teach her anything she should know, the only people who can come and go are the gods and it seems they don't care to visit her. The one person that managed to get here, her paradise, doesn't choose to stay. Her trying her best unintentionally caused her to over step his boundaries and not listen when he spoke and hurt him. She didn't mean to hurt him but she did and because she never had anyone to teach or guid her she doesn't understand that and understand that thoes can drive a person away. It's sad and painful and I love her and I want her to get free and learn to respect boundaries and hear when people talk because she truly does not deserve the hell she's been put in. So it makes me all the more upset that the fandom has decided she's just an evil character and deserves what she's got happening to her

This next part is gonna be ranty but it is a rant so oh well

And TW: I'm gonna talk about the 🍇 ist stuff people are pushing onto her because I'm aware that the book version is different from the Epic version but some of y'all seem to think it's the same thing in Epic and I have issues for that and I will be using the actual word so I'm sorry in advance for anyone that upset.

The way the fandom treats Calypso is honestly disgusting. I've seen people talk about her book counter part and then attribute that one's actions to the Epic version. I've seen people take the singe line of "Soon Into Bed We'll Climb And Spend Our Time" as a way to say it implies that she rapes Oddeysus when it's never expanded upon or brought up again in the songs. I've seen people call her a pick me, selfish, manipulative, self centered, a bitch all for the crime of wanting to love Oddeysus and for him to love her back and not possessing the proper social skills and words to do get that she can't have that. I've seen people straight up say she's just a rapist because of her book counter part. I've seen so many post that are just about Calypso and so many comments talking shit about her, saying they could never make them like her, blaming her for her situation. So many people are so okay with just saying she's bad and no one wants to look at things from her POV. About what living the life she had does to a person, how it affects them, how it stunts their growth as a person, how it causes them to lack certain social skills you and I have, how once you finally meet people again you get clingy because holy shit people are here! You can say that you'd act differently but I guarantee you that if you spent your entire life from young age and into the 100s never interacting with individuals and isolated on an island just for some ramdo wash up on the shores of the beach still alive you'd fucking cling to to him to and do your best to get him to stay because that loneliness will absolutely be devastating again. Remind you, Calypso can't leave. She said it herself "No one can come or go, my island stays unknown", if no one can leave once there that means she's stuck there too. She can get Oddeysus off the island but that would leave her alone again. Alone after finally having someone not herself and not an animal. Who knows when the next washed up sailor will be if at all and the gods clearly don't care enough to go see her. If they care at all. Even in I'm Not Sorry For Loving You she expresses how upset she is. Angry, tired, restless and sad because she doesn't get what she did wrong and we can see things from her perspective but it's like the actions of her book self she can't escape them. And I know, I know that book Calypso is a rapist she literally has this man's kids but y'all are using the one line from Love In Paradise to claim she did the same here. But that one line is never expanded upon or brought up again. Jorge already warned us that there will be implications of rape in a song and we know which one, Hold Em Down, the one with Antinous. In the demon there are specific lyrics there that are "Hold her down while the gate is open. Hold her down while I get a taste. Hold her down while we share her spoils I will not let anything go to waste"

These are actually lyrics for the demon that we are warned about being implications of sexual assault. We were warned and these were intentional. It doesn't stop at the one line, it keeps going and it's brought up. One line out of a song that has a time skip does not equal rape and I would like it if those who have read the book and know of book!Calypso's behavior stop pushing it into Epic!Calypso. I would also like it if everyone stopped viewing her behavior on a surface level of what it appears when there's a mountain of reasons for it. I'm not saying Oddeysus has to know or care, the man's been through a lot and just wants to go home, but the US as the audience can benefit from looking past it all and seeing the reason why. Not just immediately jumping to a manipulative, gaslighty, selfish, entitled bitch just because her actions aren't favorable. I feel like people are either projecting or just don't look past Oddeysus POV to really care to see things from Calypso's

I also feel like there's another reason as reason people don't care to look at things from Calypso's POV and, y'all gonna be mad but I don't care, it's racism and misogyny. I know the knee jerk reaction is "I'm not racist/misogynist", "no one is being racist/misogynist", "you're reading to much into stuff ans seeing things where it isn't", hush please. You can still be either or both and not be aware of it and as a black female presenting person this is unfortunately something I notice. It's not surprising when people jump down the throat of female characters for one reason or another because they did something people don't like. Whether it be them being in the way of a gay ship, them being overly friendly and bubbly and people calling her fake bitch, blaming her for the actions of the male character, getting mad because she's a complex female character that doesn't fit perfectly into one box, I've seen it all before. Y'all did it with Demencia from Villainous until there was a female character to ship her with, y'all did it with Grace I from Infinity Train when Simon went off the deep end and got his ass killed, y'all did it with Mimzy when ahe showed up and stopped Hell's Greatest Dad from just being 2 old guys arguing, y'all are doing it with Calypso because she's not perfectly good and is flawed and is an optical to Oddeysus despite not being a bad person. Every time a female character is shown to be anything that isn't bland and unintrusive y'all hate on her. And when she is bland and unintrusive y'all still hate on her because now she isn't interesting. God forbid it's a black woman or black girl character y'all will loose your minds. My best example for black girl character is April O'Neil. Literally any depiction that doesn't show her as white but especially in the Mutant Mayhem version. There was no shortage of people calling her ugly because she was black and fat and saying she wasn't the true April O'Neil when the original April O'Neil was a biracial woman but because this one is black when there's been depictions of her that have made her white suddenly she's ugly and awful and all these racist slurs. With Black female voice actor it's worse. When MLP was getting it's new reboot after Gen 5 and rumors started going around that Apple Jack could be voiced by a black lady there was no shortage of people claiming that she was ruining a character and that she'd make Apple Jack sound ghetto as if she'd be doing a stereotypical black voice and, ya know, not voice acting which was literally her job. Y'all did the same when that anime with the tanned girl(idk the name I don't watch anime) came out in dubbed and was shown that voice actor for the main character was a black lady and the same shit that happened with Apple Jack happened here. Y'all aren't doing the same song and dance here but it sure is telling that Calypso, who is voiced by a black women, is getting shit and having her book counter part's actions shoved to her while everyone else gets a pass. Especially the other, fair skinned, voice actresses. Y'all may not know it or want to admit it but the way y'all treat Calypso is high key racist and misogynist.

Look, if you don't like Calypso, that's fine, I don't care. Hate all the characters you want, no one is gonna like em all. But for fuck sake I would just like to go down the Calypso tags and not see just a wall of hate for her to the point it's like mining for diamonds to find even one positive post about her. I hope I get to see more positive post and more people showing her love instead of all this hate. If we wanna hate someone, hate Zeus him and Poseidon caused all the problems here. Thank you and have a good whatever time of day it is for you.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

What are your opinions on each of the songs? (you can answer with as much or as little detail as you'd like)

Big shocker that the songs from the 2 good episodes are in S and the only one that isn’t is still B tier/sar

The first 2 songs in S made me either tear up/shake violently or cry, and therefore they deserve to be up there IMO. Out for love is also just genuinely catchy and had actual build up to it. Also God “Ready for This” just. OOUGGGHHH IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE A WARRIOR CATS MAP. I like it a lot. You cant have multiple characters sing about working together and expect me to NOT cry.

“Stayed Gone” isn’t one I listen to often but it’s so peppy and fast and full of hatred I can’t help but enjoy it. Also everytime the song starts my brain does this

I dont know anything about Welcome Home

I have. Issues. With “Loser, Baby” but aside from those the song holds a lot more weight to it than I usually give it credit for. And for as cheesy as the start if it is, the line before of Angel talking about self destructing resonates with me a lot. Also Husk lays down in a puddle of vomit and no one talks about that ever.

I think the first song in B is “Happy Day in Hell” and I’m adding it there 1. Because it is the first song 2. It gets a reprise thing 3. Charlie almost gets hit by a truck. Other than that it’s not really my favourite but I respect the impact it has.

“Hell is Forever” just fucks. End of story. Alex Brightman killed it.

“Respectless” is good I love Velvette’s VA, but the sudden start of the song and the ending are so out of left field the first time me and my friends watched this show we had to pause cause we lost our fucking minds. Could’ve been better but I’d listen to it again, yeah.

“Hell’s Greatest Dad” is silly and funny and maybe I’m biased as a violin player and jazz enjoyer but a lot of the instrumental tickles my brain so nicely. I will say though it confuses me so much because why does Alastor care about being seen as a father figure?? My mom said it could just be him wanting to show up Lucifer and that’s it but I dunno.

“More than Anything (Reprise)” AKA “Charlie and Veggie Kiss Scene - Hazbin Hotel”

This song sounds like it’s straight out of Barbie & Th Diamond Castle and I’m honestly pissed the girls in the movie didn’t kiss so I’m coping with this. ALSO THE FACT ITS A REPRISED SONG ABOUT LOVE MAKES ME A BIT CRAZY. I never noticed this was the same song Lucifer sang to Charlie SOMEHOW but that’s actually really cute.

“It Starts With Sorry” Has a big part in Sir Pentious’s character growth and just his character in general. I’ve been working on this in my Pentious rant but I never see people mention how much this song probably meant to him. Yeah it’s super corny, but he was fully expecting to be killed and had just been told to kill himself. This was definitely huge for him and I’m not gonna be convinced otherwise.

“You Didn’t Know” is really good but Lute’s part is by far the best and I pray to GOD she gets her own song in S2 her voice actor can SING. GODDAMN! I am very interested in Lute’s character development and I love seeing what people do with close-minded characters like that and hopefully Vivzie doesn’t condemn her to Vivziepop Woman Syndrome. If she isn’t important in S2 I’m going to be pissed but I dunno maybe S3 if we get one.

“More Than Anything” Wish my dad was like this! This song is incredibly sweet and I appreciate it a lot. Honestly might go way higher on the list if I keep thinking about it.

“Whatever It Takes” Sorry you will never be Imagine Dragons. Vaggie doesn’t sound anything like herself cause her VA is making her voice so much more gruff for her character, which is fine! I like her voice (the voice direction is not very good but I digress) it’s just her voice is so high in this I can’t even tell it’s Vaggie.

“Welcome to Heaven” is boring, but we got a Molly cameo!

“Poison”. Read this and this and this. -10/10. I’d rather make out violently with Elon Musk.

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

my hsmtmts hot takes:

i did not care about rina in the slightest until season 4

seblos (as a ship/couple) is just sort of...there for me. i have no big feelings towards or against them. they're definitely cute, they just don't stay on my mind

though i loved the fashion upgrade that came with it, i hated the way kourtney was written in season 4

i don't care about madlyn that much (i also don't like call it what you want all that much)

season 4's hsm3 songs were not done well (save for can i have this dance, high school musical (the finale), dani's high school musical, and now or never (auditions)) the mixing was bad, they had dara sing too high for i want it all and the singing itself just wasn't that good

^i loved most of the original songs tho

they should've never brought in any of the original hsm actors (save for kaycee and lucas in s1). they made a corbin a twisted version of himself in s3 and the rest of the actors in s4 were so overhyped just for them to barely be there

i actually liked portwell together. they both seemed so happy and i will never forgive the writers for building them up just to ruin them in s3

^speaking of s3 portwell, i will also never forgive this fandom for treating ej like he was some old man preying on a child and treating him like the villain (this is a rant by itself so we'll tackle that some other time)

i've never liked nini (or rini)

the rina hat only works because they got together in the end. imagine if a friend put a secret love confession in a gift for you and you find it after both of you get with someone else. i just find it weird to do that sort of thing when you don't even know if there's mutual feelings

i was on ricky's side during most of the rini discourse (save for him going behind nini's back and getting her a part when she didn't want one and deleting the insta comment)

while i love both jennzzara and jetney, both of them were quickly thrown together at the end with hints that there were crushes in the air for both of them

i will forever hate that they chose frozen as s3's musical. the only songs i liked were what do you know about love and love is an open door

for a show about students putting on a musical, they really just did not show a lot of the musicals

^for s2, i've been giving them a pass because it was during the first year of covid so they were probably limiting how long people could be dancing around without masks (but i was still robbed of belle's yellow dress on ashlyn and ej and biggie playing gaston and lefou)

and finally, this show pairs people up so fast with no real development for either the people or the couple itself. the show really could've benefited from growing their characters without a relationship being the driving force and then worked on building romantic relationships once they figured out what to do with each character

[amaliabalash]

Legally Blonde at the Oregon Cabaret Theatre

Just got back from seeing the Cabaret's Legally Blonde and so naturally I have to make a text post with every thought and feeling. Bullet pointed stream of consciousness ahead! And I'll be seeing this uh like six more times so I will likely add on to mention other little things I notice and like over time. 😂

This Bruiser was a miniature poodle and very cute.

When Margot is talking to Bruiser, she just held his head and looked into his eyes like she was doing a mind meld and I loved that.

Also, like seven years ago or something, the actress playing Margot played Elle in a youth production of LB that I saw, and it was fun to see her back in the show. She understudies Elle and I hope she goes on one of the times I've there, it'd be a fun full circle thing.

During Blood in the Water, when the students start echoing the phrase, Emmett started and like tried to cue them to do the same? I don't know how to word it lol but it worked for me.

When Elle asks, "who assigns reading on the first day of class?" Emmett across the room starts like reaching out towards her and mouthing "no no no" before grimacing.

Enid throws a beer on Vivienne at the party, which I haven't seen before and was fun as Vivienne runs off stage going "I'm all sticky!"

OG IRELAND LYRICS FTW

During the Christmas part of Chip, Emmett comes in with a reindeer horn headband and I just thought that was very cute.

This Emmett did a lot of like, voices when saying certain lines and it worked for me? I know the actor from many local productions and always enjoy him but he's usually playing character roles, and I enjoyed seeing little bits of that goofiness brought into Emmett.

Major height difference between Elle and Emmett. Most of the time I'm like "yeah height differences are fine" but it made it so if they hugged she's like buried in this chest and yes good I approve.

At the end of Chip right after Elle has her classroom success, Elle and Emmett like lock eyes and walk towards each other and it just felt like a magnetic pull thing until Callahan walks between them, I dug it.

And then when Paulette goes to get Rufus (she goes offstage, because they did not have a dog to play Rufus), again, Elle and Emmett just fucking gaze at each other for a moment before she goes into "is this law?" and I am so here for it.

Holy SHIT Whipped Into Shape. Always impressive to see people hold their own with singing while jump roping, but the first freeze? Forgive the random cheerleader picture for illustration, but the actress playing Brooke held this pose (without the other arm out) for the entire pause on "meet our brand new client Brooke..." through until the hit play again. I've never seen people burst into applause mid-Whipped, but like, you could feel the shock and awe just ripple through the room the longer she held it.

Take It Like a Man: okay first of all they actually put him in a good suit thank the lord, so often it's like "and he looks the same, just in black" but this was a well fitted suit so, A+ costuming, you actually did the job. And Emmett did a clear sort of lean in before Elle hugs him, which isn't anything new, but always great in my book. And when she hugs him, she just buries her face in his chest, I love it.

When Callahan makes the move on Elle, and audience member loudly hissed. 😂

Sadly. There was no Door. However, they DID make it clear that "what about love?" was an aside and not directly to Elle. There was a line change, I don't remember exactly what, so it's not "if you can hear" but something else. But when he's singing about wanting her to stay TO her, she's carrying a bag she's packed and they both reach for the handles and just kind of clasp hands for a moment. ALSO she packs the 2-in-1 shampoo after like hesitating for a moment over it, and that got me right in the heart. Well done.

During the reprise when Elle walks into the supply closet, Vivienne turned to Enid and said "she still hates me, doesn't she?" or something like that and god any little extra bit of Vivienne insight we get I looooove.

After Elle proposes and puts the ring on Emmett's finger, she jumps into his arms and just WRAPS her legs around him, full on star fish cling, I love it. No real end kiss though, which seemed weird? Like they were about to and then went into more singing. I'm not as much bothered by it as confused by the choice but oh well.

Emmett comes out in a hot pink suit for bows.

Okay that's all I got for now. I fucking love Legally Blonde.

[boonesfarmsangria]

Mike Farrell Reflects on Captain B.J. Hunnicutt’s Ahead of ‘M*A*S*H’ TV Special

Scott Fishman, TV Insider Dec 21, 2023 Updated Dec 22, 2023 0

Mike Farrell knew he had a lot to live up to when he joined the 4077th Medical Corps and cast of M*A*S*H as Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. The well-versed actor already had an impressive career including a stint on Days of Our Lives. However, this was a completely different kind of pressure coming into season 4 of a highly successful series after the exit of Wayne Rogers, who played Captain “Trapper” John McIntyre.

He was up to the challenge with viewers connecting with the devoted family man and what would be a long-time bond with Alan Alda’s Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce. Viewers will ever forget the shot during the historic series finale where B.J. yells out that he left a note for Hawkeye. As he flies away in the helicopter, he soon notices that his good friend spelled out the word “Goodbye” with rocks on the ground.

It’s these types of iconic moments and characters that are celebrated during FOX’s upcoming M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television. Executive-produced by John Scheinfeld and Andy Kaplan, this two-special delves into the Emmy-winning run over 11 seasons through the perspective of the cast and visionaries behind the scenes.

Joining Farrell and Alda on the doc is Gary Burghoff (Cpl. Walter “Radar” O’Reilly), and Loretta Swit (Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan) to name a few, as well as series executive producers Gene Reynolds and Burt Metcalfe. Those who have since passed, including show creator Larry Gelbart, Rogers, Larry Linville (Maj. Frank Burns), Harry Morgan (Col. Sherman T. Potter), and McLean Stevenson (Lt. Col. Henry Blake) are spotlighted through archival photos and footage.

Here Farrell opens up about his emotional reaction to the special. The 84-year-old also describes what it’s like to see the beloved sitcom still resonate more than 40 years after it ended.

Michael Farrell

How often do you go back and watch the episodes back?

Mike Farrell: The popularity of the show continues to astonish me and thrill me, frankly. I get constant emails, and mail, calls to keep it fresh in my mind, and its extraordinary impact. I don’t make a point of looking for it on television, but sometimes it’s there. And when it’s there, I can’t stop looking at it and watching those people I love so much and care about. To see and remember who they were and what we did together. It’s something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I’m so thrilled to be a part of it that it’s hard to put into words.

I remember seeing Alan Alda share a photo of you two toasting to the 50th anniversary of the show’s premiere. How is it for you to still have these close connections after all these years?

For us, it’s a family situation. We enjoyed working together and having this kind of bond that continues to this day. We talk about how much we love each other and stay in touch regularly. It has been something that brings an ongoing extraordinary rush of gratitude and appreciation for all of us here…Then you see David Ogden Stiers, Harry Morgan, Larry Linville, and others on the special. There is that sense of longing for somebody who you knew, loved, and enjoyed working with. It’s piercing at the heart when you see that sometimes. For me, I’m overwhelmed with the warmth that comes back from seeing Harry, remembering the relationship we had not only during the show but afterward. Watching Alan and his incredible wit and hijinks. Some of those things stay with me today. When I tell stories, I can’t help but get misty about those memories. It’s an everlasting love affair for me.

It’s fun to think about what would have happened if social media had been around during M*A*S*H’s original run. For example, B.J.’s mustache would be a hot topic of conversation.

People often ask me, “What do you think of the mustache?” I will say my mother hated the mustache. The mustache was a fun thing. Alan called me at the beginning of one season and said, “They think we are too much alike. What do you think about growing a mustache?” I thought it was a great idea. We made a lot out of it, which was fun to do. I wore what started as a red long shirt. Through many washes, it came out pink. I thought it was hilarious to be wearing a pink shirt in the middle of all that. I get many comments from people in the gay community who tell me they loved my pink shirt and ask if that was a signal. I tell them no, but that I’m glad they noticed it.

One of the topics that gets tackled in the special is B.J.’s character and moment of infidelity with a nurse divorcee. After all this time, I even saw a Reddit thread asking if B.J. cheated on his wife Peg.

I remember when I first met with the guys and they were talking about the possibility of Wayne leaving. I told them the one thing I didn’t want to do as an actor was come in and step in the boots of “Trapper.” They understood. They had in mind a fellow who was married, not a womanizer like “Hawkeye” or “Trapper,” who had a child at home. And he is going to be true to his wife and family. You’re talking about modeling fidelity on television, I didn’t mind that at all. We laughed. It stayed that way. One year we did a show where Blythe Danner played the guest star. She and “Hawkeye had been having a love affair in medical school, and she was temporarily assigned to our station. She was married, but the affair popped up again.

There is a scene where “Hawkeye” asks B.J. if he has ever been unfaithful. I said never. He said, “You ever tempted?” I said, “Tempted is a different question.” He said, “So, you have been tempted?” I said, “No, it was a different question.” It was a good gag. Larry Gelbart, who wrote the scene was ont eh stage when we finished that shot. I said, “Larry, that was wonderful, but let me suggest the idea. The fact B.J. is a faithful husband is great by me, but to suggest a man was not tempted goes too far. I don’t think we need to paint in that pristine manner.” He said that was a good thought. A year later Gene remembers that conversation with Larry. He asked, “What do you feel about B.J. falling off the fidelity wagon?” I said, “It depends on how you resolve it.”

How do you feel it came out?

I loved the whole process that they cared enough to hear me out, and decided it was worth dealing with that question. I thought they resolved it in a classy way. B.J. was upset about what he had done. It was brief and a misstep. He was miserable about it. “Hawkeye” gave him hell because he was going to write home and tell Peg. He said, “Don’t do that to her. If you must confess for whatever the transgression, wait until you get home where you can be with her and talk to her. I thought it was great that they were willing to explore the kind of experience people are put through in these circumstances.

It was almost like it didn’t matter how far they went, but didn’t matter. He would feel the same way.

Exactly. But the idea of them spending the night together in a bed, under those circumstances, and didn’t go far sounds a little stretch to me.

When was the moment you felt how big a show M*A*S*H was?

I was in Southeast Asia during one of our breaks. After my second or third year there on the show when I went around, I was astonished at the no matter what part of the world, the show meant something to the.m. This one man said, “Your show constantly underscores for me the meaning of peace and the need for peace in this world.” I came back to set and Alan and I were sitting together during the first day of the season back. I said, “Are you hearing what I’m hearing out there?” He said, “Yeah, we need to be aware of the way the show is affecting people.

We decided on a regular meeting as a cast and talked through the issues of the day. Alan and I both made it a point that this show is having an impact that is beyond just being a popular television show. We need to be seriously committed to making sure we do the best work we can do. Everyone got it and agreed and rededicated ourselves to commit to doing meaningful work because of the audience’s respect and appreciation for the show.

What are your overall thoughts on the FOX special while screening it? 

I watched it with tears streaming down my face while laughter burst from my mouth. It was an extraordinary tribute. Not only to the show and people involved but the people involved behind the scenes. I’m glad they included the clip of Gene, Larry, and in particular Burt Metcalfe, the casting genius who brought many of the characters to the show; me included. He was a powerful force in maintaining the integrity of the show. It was deeply touching and I think the audience will love it. It shows the significance and the work of the characters and the way the show was built and what it became. I was thrilled when I saw it. 

How do you think the show would do in today’s TV landscape? 

I think it would remain a touchstone for people I can’t tell you how many veterans have contacted me. Even children of veterans. They would say. “My dad would never talk about his experience in the war until he saw your show. Then he would say, ‘That’s the way it was.”…That it has stayed relevant and meaningful to people for generations speaks volumes about the show. 

M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television premiere, January 1, 8/7c, FOX

@stroyent 🤝

[lurkingshan]

If you could rant about one thing in BL, what would it be? (This could be either a complaint or a soapbox)

Thank you for the invitation to climb on my soapbox, I love it up here. Something that’s been on my mind recently is bl second seasons, so I will take this opportunity to talk about why I both anticipate and dread them in equal measure, and what makes for a strong second season in a romance narrative. I would apologize for this being so long but it's you, Emperor of the Long Post, so I don't even feel bad.

First of all, let me just say that part of the reason I love Asian dramas in the first place is because they don’t have multiple seasons. Unlike American TV, you don’t have to invest literal years in a show only to have it blow up in your face when it (nearly always) goes off the rails for one reason or another. The vast majority of Asian dramas are one and done–they tell a complete story in one limited run, and afterwards you just get to move on to the next story. As a result they tend to have a higher hit rate because they’re not trying to stretch their story beyond its limits to keep it going and going, and even when they fail you only spent a few days or weeks on it so it doesn’t feel like you wasted a lot of time. There are a few exceptions of course (lately kdramas on Netflix have started splitting into two “seasons” that are really just one standard kdrama episode count split in two and airing a few months apart–high key annoying IMO), but by and large that’s how it goes. 

So the bl genre’s propensity for second seasons already goes a bit against the grain of what I love about dramas, and add to that the very nature of bls—they are romances, which typically end at the point that the romantic conflict has been addressed and the characters decide to stay together. So in general, I am primed to be suspicious of second seasons in this genre. Many second seasons are clearly driven by capitalism more than anything else–the pairing is popular and so the production company is looking to cash in while their commodity is hot, and whether or not they actually have any more story to tell is a secondary concern. So my first questions when approaching a second season is why was this made and what is it trying to accomplish? 

I think there are a few buckets here:

Continuing the narrative season 2s: These are the shows where the story was not complete at the end of season 1, and season 2 is actually necessary to provide some resolution. Love Sick 2 and Make it Right 2 are prime examples; those narratives were incomplete after the first season and season 2 finished them. What Did You Eat Yesterday? 2 also falls in this category but for a different reason: it’s a slice of life show and the narrative never really ends. They could make 10 seasons of that show and it would make perfect sense (not that I am begging or anything).

Cash grab season 2s: These are the ones with little or no real narrative purpose. They’re more like long specials, and their purpose is primarily to provide additional fluff for the audience while they sell products (including the actors, they are also products here). Cutie Pie 2 You, Still 2gether, TharnType 2 are all good examples of this. Now I am not saying these shows are inherently worthless–they gave Aof the reins for 2SG, for instance, and he managed to make something of it and even repair some damage from the first season–but they are definitely inessential. 

What happens after the HEA season 2s: My favorite kind, these are the ones that move into the next phase of the romance, once the characters have decided to be together, and take a look at what their relationship would actually be like. Their purpose is to deepen the relationship and character development and examine the types of conflicts that would naturally come up between the two personalities. Gameboys 2, I Promised You the Moon, Minato’s Laundromat 2, SOTUS: S, Together With Me: The Next Chapter, To My Star 2, and Utsukushii Kare 2 all fall under this category. Some of these are more successful than others, which I will unpack below. 

Something like Our Skyy and Our Skyy 2 runs the gamut between these three types, with each installment fitting into different categories. The Eclipse OS2 is a great example of category 3, whereas My School President OS2 is more of a category 2, and you could make a case that SOTUS OS is really a category 1, since it puts a nice cap on the narrative of that whole series.

So, with that said, what I actually want to talk about is category 3, because these are the shows I am most interested in and where the decisions made in the writing are most crucial. Because this type of second season has real potential to either strengthen or damage the couple and how we see their relationship. The best second seasons of this type build on the established characteristics of the characters and take us through some natural conflicts that would arise as they continue their relationship. For instance, in Gameboys 2 we see Cairo and Gavreel spend prolonged time together in person for the first time after maintaining a long distance relationship and work through what physical intimacy looks like for them as well as how they intend to keep their relationship strong despite distance. I Promised You the Moon, SOTUS: S, To My Star 2, and Utsukushii Kare 2 all build on their characters’ well-established flaws from the first season to explore how that would manifest in conflict as these relationships continue and offer plausible scenarios for how the couples might make it through those issues (and it ain’t always pretty!). All of these are very successful second seasons, because they build naturally from what came before and directly address the doubts we had when those shows first ended about whether the couple can actually make it long-term.

Where this type of second season goes really wrong is when the writing violates character or the established patterns of the relationship in order to create conflict. In Together With Me: The Next Chapter, the show uses cheating as a plot device, having Korn cheat on Knock in a one-off hookup with a shitty villain character, and to add insult to injury, they juxtaposed it against Knock finally coming out in a poor attempt at dramatic irony. The reason this sucked was not just because it hurt our feelings; it sucked because that behavior was contra everything we knew about Korn, his devotion to Knock, and his well-established patience with Knock’s internalized homophobia. Now, don’t get it twisted: I do not believe cheating is an inherently bad plot device. It was actually used very well in I Promised You the Moon, a decision I will defend to the death (in fact, you can tune in to the conversation pod in a couple weeks to hear me do just that!). But its use in TWM:TNC did not make sense for the characters, and thus rather than deepening their relationship development, it irreparably harmed it. 

Another way a second season of this type can go wrong is when the writing is not committed to the narrative or leans too hard on first season nostalgia rather than dealing with the current iteration of the characters. Minato’s Laundromat 2 just did both of these things, which was especially frustrating because for nine weeks it was on track to be a very successful version of this type.The show started out tracking the painstaking and slow process of Minato dealing with his internalized homophobia and becoming a decent partner to Shin, but for reasons I can only speculate about, the show balked in the final act, backing away from finishing its narrative in favor of an amnesia plot and several episodes of first season nostalgia bait, ending with a happy resolution that felt wholly unearned and thus deeply unsatisfying. This was especially infuriating because the show got us invested in the growth arc before failing to complete it.  

So what is my point here? Second seasons can be very worthwhile, but only if there is a clear vision for what the story wants to explore about the relationship that is rooted in what we already know about the characters. There are rumors about other second seasons coming our way from shows like Big Dragon, Blueming, and The Eighth Sense, some of which have more potential to add to the original story than others (T8S is particularly primed for a solid second season IMO, because it left so much character development and natural conflict for the next stage of the relationship on the table). But regardless of where they decide to go with the plot of these additional seasons, the thing that will be most crucial is whether they keep fidelity to who the characters are and how their relationships work. That is how you successfully build from an origin romance in a way that feels meaningful and worthwhile.

[rosellerivers19]

My review on Varisudu movie

If you don’t know already I’m Indian and one of the things I like doing being Indian is watching the culture’s movies because oh my god they are fantastic so I was naturally hyped after Varisudu came on prime video it having Vijay sir and was really excited after seeing the first half of the movie because it looked really promising for us New generation kids as it seemed like it would acknowledge the problems with neglect/abuse how it hurt the family and how the siblings could mend their bonds as well as dealing with a peaceful divorce but I was horrified after finishing the movie.

First of the actors were good they did a great job as well as the songs and choreography those are probably the only reasons why you should watch this movie. But the plot theme and moral were horrible

What I dislike about this movie is mainly the family drama it is a really horrible depiction. This movie is trying to have the message that love conquers all and that you should forgive your family no matter what horrible things they’ve done and it’s sickening especially in this day and age where abuse and neglect is being exploited as no okay and this movies is just taking several leaps back from that accomplishment.

When we got the flashback of Vijay and how he left his house because his father undermined his accomplishments and his brother were obviously puppets because of the same or similar treatment from their father I was touched happy almost I thought we’d have a nice movie where we’d see the children accepting that just because your blood related doesn’t mean you have to love them and it’s a choice but noo we have to have a movie where it’s saying that hey I know that I emotionally neglected you and used you for my goals or hey I’m sorry I almost crushed you with a car or tried killing you but deep down I care about you. That is some bullshit right there.

Let’s go through all the problem together shall we

Rajendran kicked his son out for not complying with his ideals neglected his accomplishments and after one single fight let go of him not even thinking argument through or contacting his son in 7 years This man does all this and expects his youngest son to put up with his bs he never even thought of how he might be feeling or maybe that he himself was wrong or overreacted and even after knowing that he was dying he didn’t try rethinking his choices like he claims in the movie. Keep in mind after he allows his wife to host the celebration and Vijay comes home he doesn’t even spare a glance at his son he hasn’t seen in 7 years and goes off to do his other business. And doesn’t even apologize after Vijay returns for him saying that he might be wrong until the very end which in my case is very unacceptable.

Jai cheats on Aarthi slaps her when she confronts him about it, don’t try solving their issues and magically stop their divorce. Now this is just sad Jai cheated on Aarthi with no regrets they were both unhappy with this marriage and doesn’t feel bad when confronted about it. Yes he’ s worried when his daughter gets human trafficked but that’s because he is not a total doichebag. This would’ve been the perfect moments for him to apologize and him and Aarthi have a peaceful divorce but they still stay together knowing they have complications. And this is part Vijay’s fault to like he was fine with the divorce at first knowing that what his brother did was wrong but then his mother says “oh well I’m his mother so I can’t think like that” and wham Bam morals gone ma’am. I mean like really? I get it if you’re a little sentimental but he is completely forgetting his morals there he could’ve just left it at that letting the divorce happen because it was the right thing and his mother would have to learn to accept it because what her son did was wrong and he can’t fix that.

Ruining the characters If you pay attention to details closely like I do then you might’ve seen that in the beginning when Vijay came back to the house and put his stuff in his room Jai leaned on the door way making fun of him saying “Oh you make that big of a speech and come after 7 years for one phone call” then Vijay says “elder brother what big of a mistake did I do except leave this house?Do you know how much I’ve missed you in those seven years” and then Jai begins sympathizing because in reality he doesn’t truly hate his brother he’s also a neglected child who’s been used like a puppet and starts to sympathize saying “Hey don’t take those words to heart I was just saying that in anger we’ve missed you too-“ but before he can finish Vijay laughs and says he didn’t mean any of that but of course he did. No matter who you are it’s not easy living without love and affection and we had no indication throughout the movie that Vijay had developed close bonds while he was away. Vijay didn’t choose to not have love and support he chose to distance himself from a toxic relationship that would affect both his physical health and mental health badly and I respect him for that.

This movie is basically mocking Gen Z saying that they are wrong and making this as a go to guilt trip material for Indian parents to say “Oh see family always comes first” and shit like that. I especially hate the line where Vijay says “My dad will always be my first hero because even if he didn’t help me walk by holding my hand he reached me from afar”. What message is this giving? It’s saying abuse and neglect are okay your siblings assaulting you is okay and staying in a relationship that is clearly not working is okay.

This movie had great potential of catching the eye of the new generation which it clearly wanted to do.Do not watch this movie if you want good ideals or want to teach something to your child because this family drama has the wrong lessons instead watch something like Manam because in the movie Radha and Krishna’s divorce was caused by a misunderstanding and Radha was actually trying to heal their relationship before they died.

[dirigibleplumbing]

Ooooo, as a “new” spn fan, what surprised you the most in regards to 1. what was actually canon vs general tumblr knowledge vs what you thought was fanon? 2. the general quality of the acting? And writing? and 3. that you discovered you ended up liking about the show?

And what DIDN’T surprise you in regards to 1-3?

1. what surprised you the most in regards to what was actually canon vs general tumblr knowledge vs what you thought was fanon 

For background, when I became active in other fandoms on tumblr around 2017-2018, I’d seen seasons 1-10 of spn and a smattering of s11, so I actually knew a good deal of what was and wasn’t canon.

But when s12 was airing and my dash was flooded with gifs and manips and clips of the mixtape scene, my eyebrows RAISED, and I asked @fanfictiongreenirises​ whether the scene actually happened like that onscreen. 

She said what I’ll summarize as “lol, yes.” And I said, “wait so--is destiel canon now?!” Because seriously--Dean “mullet rock” Winchester made Cas a LITERAL MIXTAPE and I’m supposed to think he’s not trying to woo the angel!? And then when I actually watched s12 it was somehow even MORE queer?!?!

3. what surprised you the most in regards to that you discovered you ended up liking about the show? 

answering this one out of order because it’ll make more sense this way --

Dean.

More background! My media literacy for film and TV was, for various reasons, really low well into my late 20s. I realized this at a certain point and binge-watched tons of TV and read critical breakdowns of every scene and episode to make up for it, and now I’m known among my friends as being the best at predicting how a movie or episode I’ve never seen before will end, sometimes beat for beat. But it took me an honestly embarrassingly long time to understand the appeal of antiheroes and antivillains.

With that in mind: I started spn around 2012, when I binged everything that was on Netflix at the time. 

And when I watched the pilot, I thought Dean was shady as fuck. I thought Sam was obviously the “better” and more heroic brother, and that if Sam were really all that smart he’d stay the hell out of hunting. This was despite the fact that I found Jared’s acting terrible. I’d already seen him on Gilmore Girls, where he was somehow even worse, so maybe I was surprised that he was passably mediocre at times.

So I was surprised when, by the end of episode 3, I went “oh no, I love Dean.”

Even though I wasn’t fannish about the show, I would sometimes even use Jackles as face ref for a ~handsome white man~ in my professional illustration work :P

(I learned about Cas early on, and knew ahead of time I would adore him.)

2. what surprised you the most in regards to the general quality of the acting? And writing?

So, a huge part of my answer to #3 is due to Jackles’ acting. I think a lot of A-list type actors would be as bad as Jared at performing in a trope-heavy angst-heavy show like Supernatural, but Jackles consistently kills at it. He pulls off gorgeous human reactions to these hyper-extreme situations, and it--along with Misha and their chemistry together--really carries the show for me.

A lot of the Metatron arc surprised me, both in terms of where they took the Metatron character and how heavy the queerbaiting was, but I have complicated feelings about the way they wrote Metatron that are s hard for me to articulate. 

There are definitely more examples of times I was surprised by the acting and the writing, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.

[butcharyastark]

Speaking of jcs, can I have a rating of the musicals/ different versions?

HOWDY, IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

keep in mind ive only watched a handful of recordings or productions compared to other ppl but i do have Opinions on the ones ive watched. [cracks knuckles] so:

1. biased maybe because i just watched it but the 50th anniversary arena tour (circa early 2023, there have been other castings last year ik but this year's one is the one i love). i had the chance to go see it bc it was in my state this month and its the latest one i've watched but it instantly blew away all the other versions i've seen. just... the great singing of 1996 london cast and great acting of 1973 movie and creative staging like the 2018 live in concert.... it had everything and there was not a single ball dropped or a single bad or even meh actor or song or artistic decision. i am usually not one to rec ppl to go buy a ticket to an event but seeing it was the best intro to musical theater or live performances i could have ever had and AHHHHHH. sm details of this will stay in my mind forever re: jcs i can't pick one thing to deacribe bc it's Everything and i'd be here for two hours if i tried. it has my FAVORITE ending of any jcs production and idk if any other production will compare to the high intensity emotions and poetics and symbolism combined with amazing singing like this one.

2. have to go with 1996 london cast recording. i havent seen it and idk if there are even any bootleg recordings of it, but the album is The jcs album i relisten to. fucking A+++. again, maybe i'm biased bc this was my first full jcs album (as opposed to random songs), but idk if anything else but the 1973 movie studio recording album can compare purely musically to me. i love how you can HEAR the acting in the emotional singing while also not sacrificing the singing itself (looking at you 2000 movie judas), and idk i feel like it so clearly tells the story in the tone even without being able to see it, and that's fantastic. every other jcs production in terms of singing and audible acting gets compared to this one, for me. this is the one i hear in my head when i remember or mentally sing the lyrics.

3. 1973 movie. carl anderson. first official filmed jcs production. 70's outfits. meta narrative. do i need to say anything else? this was my second jcs version i consumed when i Got Into It and man im glad it was. when i first watched it, it seemed kinda just alright (probably bc im not a huge fan of movies from the 70's or 80's), but the further time goes on the more i realize this is kinda just The jcs. the classic jcs. i said 1996 london cast recording is what i compare everything else to musically, but i feel like this version is the one that every other version has to live up to. simple question: is your jcs production better than carl anderson painfully crying out "he won't listen to me!" on a mountain in the desert in a fringe outfit as jesus steps out of a tour bus, yes or no? and most of the time the answer is no.

i'm not a huge fan of older movies but the acting and music in this is top tier, the costuming is fun most of the time, the sets are neat, and the underlying metanarrative about an acting group performing jcs inuniverse for a film or smth is rlly interesting. it's the only other jcs album i have saved in my music folder besides the 1996 london cast recording. 9/10

also as a judas fan this is also the judas i compare every other judas to bc... goddamn carl anderson covers every base. desperation and anger and righteousness and tenderness and pain and bitterness and longing.... he has the range. and honestly it's got my favorite version of Superstar so far. i don't think anyone else has topped carl anderson's version yet.

4. swedish arena tour (idr the year). amazing casting, AMAZING acting, fucking incredible costumes, great singing. the only reason it's this far down this list is bc i prefer other character interpretations, but like, the appeal of bisexual vampy switch jesus who flirts with most of the apostles inbetween his main love interests of biker milf mary magdalene and legolas-in-a-mesh-shirt judas... simply cannot be understated. pretty much every artistic decision is 7 or higher out of 10. it's a very consistently good production, and a very gay one. i like the swedish translated lyrics also.

5. 2000 movie. i think everyone knows by now how bad this one is but it's so campy and jcs is inherently ridiculous as both the appeal and the concept that it loops back around to being good. it's not my fave version but it was my third jcs version and it was honestlly rlly fun to watch. what it lacks in singing, it makes up for in acting. i think Heaven On Their Minds, Everything's Alright, This Jesus Must Die, The Last Supper, and Superstar are the numbers that shine here. i think this movie is actually my favorite versions of everything's alright and this jesus must die. i really like the symbolism they try to use in this one. ik i said i genuinely think the acting makes up for the singing, but this might be higher if judas actually SANG. or if pilate was less sympathetic bc i actually hate this pilate djdjfj this version gets points for being much less antisemitic than other jcs productions with the priests, and then immediately loses them by being noticibly more racist than others in the temple. also my favorite peter is in this one. his acting in the last supper is like 25% of my enjoyment of this version.

6. 2018 live concert. full disclosure, i haven't finished this one yet, but i love it so far. i love the outfits and the staging and the energy and casting. this singing is not my favorite and i'm genuinely not sure if john legend knows how to act or if they just cast him bc he's john legend (i'll find out in the second half ig bc i also didn't like the acting of the 50th anniversary tour jesus in the first half and THEN--) but judas does a good enough version of heaven on their minds which is my main criteria for judging a jcs production in personal likes and i do Love the meta themes of casting a real superstar singer as jesus christ given the themes of the musical. i like the dynamics between judas and mary in this one. i think judas is in the closet in this one which is very sad but his outfits absolutely make up for it. it is a spectacle and a half and i'm enjoying it so far. it might get bumped up to #5 depending on how the second half goes.

7. original concept album. i know it's very weird putting the origin of the whole thing at the bottom, but that's not because it's bad, it's just not smth i'm in love with as a whole. i do need to relisten to it--actually i will do that today--but it was really good the first time i heard it, i'm just not a fan of the sound of early rock and prefer the way various versions adapt the music in progressively more modern times. objectively talented singing tho and heaven on their minds goes OFF. i may have more takes after relistening, but that's it rn.

8. i've listened to a bunch of other tidbits of assorted performances, mostly judas solos, bc as i said, i judge a jcs production by its heaven on their minds performance and i went scouring through classic and modern versions of that at one point. this is not part of the proper ranking bc i haven't listened to them in full, but i wanted to mention them here at the end. if anyone wants a list of my fave recs of that to look into:

original mexican cast (1975)

original japanese cast (1976)

mexican revival cast (1984)

original russian cast (1992)

original czech cast (1994)

jesus christ surferstar (2003)

all female jcs recording (2022)

most of these albums can be found just uploaded on youtube or even spotify which is very cool, please check them out, i had fun skipping thru them.

and uhhhh there's all the versions i've watched in full, or mostly watched, and a few of the ones i've done neither! ik this is very long (longer than i intended) but i hope this is what u were looking for and was entertaining or helpful!!

[thespamman24]

Welcome to the 2024 Sbvevies!

The Nominees For Smelliest Film Are

The Substance: Body horror smells bad

100s of Beavers: It technically didn’t come out this year, but everyone saw it this year. Anywhoo, this film is filled with animal guts and unwashed, smelly men running around. Sorry, only the men are running around. The animal guts stay perfectly still. 

Dune: I just know Baron Harkonnen smells rancid. “Oh, but wouldn’t he douse himself in perfumes?” I hear you ask. Wrong! In chapter seven of “Chapterhouse:Dune”, it reads, “The Harkonnens all smell like shit all the time”.

Alien Romulus: Everyone is in a tight, claustrophobic environment, running around, and getting their sweat on. That’s not even to mention the actual aliens, as they probably smell gross. Also, you just know that CGI Ian Holmes smelled disgusting, with all his milky tubes hanging out.

And the winner is…

FURIOSA! Where do I even begin? Immortan Joe’s strange, sickly form?  The hundreds of sweaty, sweaty men who probably never bathe? All of the car oil? 

The Nominees for best screaming are…

Dune, Part II: This is for that aaaAAAAAAaaaAAAAA

Alien Romulus: Being chased by a spooky monster often leads to lots of screaming, as is the case for this movie.

V/H/S Beyond: Being an anthology film, there’s a high diversity of screams here.

And the Winner Is…

CHALLENGERS! My favorite part of tennis is always when the people go “Ooh! Aaah! Oh!”

The nominees for artistic hornieness are

Megalopolis: Audrey Plaza plays a character named….what was it again? Platinum Buttocks or something, I believe. What’s important is that the film is horny.

Alien: Romulus: This is here by virtue of being an Alien movie.

Nosferatu: Considering the subtext of the horniness, I feel bad about putting this one here, but Robert Eggers will shoot me if I don’t.

The Substance: The fact that this film isn’t directed by a straight man is mind blowing considering how many shots of woman’s butts there are. Maybe that’s a point.

And the winner is…

ANORA! There is more fucking in this movie than…I dunno, a place where there’s a lot of fucking.

The Nominees For a Lack of Subtlety re

The Substance: I wonder what this film is about. Something tells me it has something to do with sexism and the entertainment industry, but I don’t know why.

Juror Number 2: There’s like twenty different scenes where someone goes “Well, the legal system isn't perfect, but it could be worse”. I GET IT!

Emilia Perez: They sing a song about top surgery and how penis becomes vagina, and that’s an entirely different brand of unsubtle.

And the winner is…

THE JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX! Being a sequel to the first joker means it automatically qualifies.

The Nominees for Worse Fake Accent Are:

Selena Gomez for Emilia Perez: I haven’t seen the film, but everyone on the internet is really mad about Selena Gomez’s accent. 

And The Winner Is:

Half The Cast Of Dune II: Fremen don’t talk like that. I won’t tolerate this bullshit..

The Nominees For Most Dysfunctional Family Unit:

I Saw The TV Glow: Well, yeah, duh, abuse is dysfunctional. Way too bring the mood down. 

Anora: The funniest scene in the film was when the Russian guy asked his parents if they would love him if he was gay and they went “Dude, we already fucking hate you”. At least, I think that's what happened. It’s been a moment since I saw the film.

Dune, Part II: Kissing your uncle on the lips is gross. 

The Apprentice: I’m just gonna assume based on the fact that Donald Trump is in it. Every unit he’s in is a dysfunctional one.

And the Winner Is…

MAXXINE! However, I can’t say why, because it’s a spoiler.

The Nominees For Actor Who Clearly Didn’t Want To Be In The Movie Are:

JK Simmons from Red One: No one has actually seen this film, so I’m just assuming.

Jeff Goldblum from Wicked: The man seemed stoned, which I guess is the usual vibe Jeff gives off, but he seemed especially stoned this time.

Dakota Johnson from Madame Web: Haha funny joke, wait a minute, that was this year?!? What?!?

And The Winner Is:

Everyone In Kraven! I haven't seen it, but it’s clear that none of the actors wanted to be in Kraken, because why would they want to be?

The Nominees For Most Queer Subtext:

Love Lies Bleeding: There’s queer subtext in the sense that there are gay people, and they have sex, but they’re not saying that they’re having sex when they’re doing it, thereby making it subtextual.

Queer: There’s queer subtext in the sense that there are gay people, and they have sex, but they’re not saying that they’re having sex when they’re doing it, thereby making it subtextual.

Conclave: There’s queer subtext in the sense that it’s the funniest possible reading of the movie.

I Saw The TV Glow: I mean…yeah.

Wicked: Why is there not an entire industry of ship art for this particular musical? Lord only knows how much Hamilton ship art the internet has forced me to see.

Look Back: I actually only included the category because I wanted Look Back to be on this list. 

And the Award Goes To…

Deadpool and Wolverine! I actually have seen a lot of fanart of this one, and not by choice.

The Nominees For Worst Vacation Experience Are,

A Real Pain: I don’t want to investigate the troubled relationships I have with my family members on vacation. That’s what jobs are for.

Juror #2: Jury duty is a kind of vacation experience in a way, and it’s usually not this stressful.

And the Winner Is…

SPEAK NO EVIL! I want to speak during my vacation, thank you very much.

The Nominees For Worst Job Experience Are,

Abigail: Everyday when I go to work, I pray there are no explosions.

Civil War: Absolutely under no conditions do I want to risk death for my job.

The Substance: This isn’t just a bad job experience for Demi Moore, but for everyone in the final ending scene. Those poor camera men and tech guys just wanted a paycheck.

Saturday Night: Yeah.

And The Winner is…

CONCLAVE! This one’s here because it feels the most like being stressed out at your job.

The Nominees For Best Animal Are:

The Cat from Flow: He seemed nice.

Sonic from Sonic 3: A Sonic is a kind of animal.

The Bees From The Beekeeper: Bees are pretty neat as small yellow objects go.

And The Winner Is…

MONKEY ROBBIE WILLIAMS FROM BETTER MAN! He’s a monkey who sings. My hands are figuratively tied. They’re also literally tied, but that’s for unrelated reasons.

The Nominees For Unluckiest Janitors Are:

Abigail:  A lot of surfaces get covered in blood in this film.

Gladiator II: Not only is there blood everywhere, I don’t think janitors in Roman times had a good salary. Also, mopping up the arena is probably difficult because how do you mop up sand?

Dune, Part II: Being a janitor in the Dune universe has got to suck because you have to deal with space goop, which is the worst kind of goop.

Anora: That one maid probably had a really shitty time that day.

And The Winner Is,

THE SUBSTANCE! No amount of salary benefits could pay for having to mop up a boob eye.

The Nominees For Best Press Surrounding A Film Are:

Madame Web: God, the interviews were so funny.

Challengers: In order to get hype for the film, the screenwriter created a viral video of him wanting potions ten years earlier.

A Better Man: It was funny to find out that there is a secret celebrity that the British have been keeping from us for years.

And the Winner is…

WICKED! All I want in my life is someone to be my Ariana Grande to my Cynthia Erevo, is that too much to ask? 

The Nominees For Worst Film To Show To Aliens Who Have Never Seen A Movie Before And Also Don't Know Anything About Humanity:

I Saw The TV Glow: I just don’t think they would understand the themes. 

Sonic the Hedgehog 3: Having not seen the first two, the aliens would be confused.

VHS Beyond: There’s a lot of evil aliens in this one, so it would be awkward. I guess I could have put Alien:Romulus here, but there’s (basically) only one species of evil alien in that one. 

And The Winner Is…

 THE SUBSTANCE!

If aliens see it, they may think that people normally do this, and that will weird them out. 

And Now, The Categories You’ve All Been Waiting For! The Nominees For Sexist Jerk Are,

Feyd Rautha in Dune, Part II: I mean, come on.

The Racist Bishop in Conclave (his name is Tabasco): He’s a shitty person, but the swagger on this guy is insane.

The Mother From Longlegs: I like a woman who knows what she wants.

The Serial Killer Guy In Trap: Massive DILF energy with this guy.

The Younger Version of the Lady in the Substance: It was kind of mean of her to (spoiler), but I could fix her. 

Art The Clown From Terrifier 3: Don’t judge me.

And the award goes to.. Feyd Rautha! Tabasco was close, but I find vaping unsexy, even if he looked really cool while he did it. 

[welcometothelightside]

E1: The Glory of the Star Wars Prequels

An article doing a deep look into the positive side of the Star Wars Prequels.

SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS PREQUELS AND THE CLONE WARS TV SHOW

Let me preface this with the simple fact that there is good in everything.  With this fact in mind, I implore you to look at the light side. It’s a whole lot brighter, the grass greener, the air fresher. Take a seat, look up at the stars. They shine for you. 

I am undoubtedly a Prequels kid, which means just like Originals kids and Sequels kids, there’s a bias. A huge example of this being, I don’t care much for the Originals. I was born in 1998, a generation long past the cutting edge CGI that Skywalker Sound and Lucasfilms had brought to the world before my time. 

I know, I know. I just made a couple enemies. Unfortunately, Star Wars fans have quite the reputation for being downright nasty to one another, which I think is quite the shame. After all, we're supposed to be looking at the light side!

Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that the Originals exist and what they stand for. They are foundation blocks in the science fantasy genre, CGI, and sound design. They simply follow a script and style to me that’s a time I’m not a part of. An era where villains are evil, because the protagonist said so. This I feel, led into the 80’s love for heavy action flics. Chasing the high that epic space battles and being a hero inspired in people. 

After all, there were a whole lot of people who got a nice long look at Arnold Swartzenagger’s ass in 1984 and loved it. Rambo in 1982 decimated a whole lot of people’s lives, and the audience drank it up and stayed on his side. Such was the way with villains being 2-dimensional static creatures. 

I feel Vader was a missed opportunity of his era, one that George Lucas later rectified in the production of the Prequels. As a creative, and a writer I find that it can never only be the protagonist that tells a story, the antagonist is also a massive key in making sure a plot is more than a simple one line narrative. 

If you compare villains from the late 1970s and 80s, you could count their lines on a single hand. They didn’t speak, these universal dark figures. They were tall (the actor for Vader being 6’6”), overbearing, dressed in black, intimidating figures with the personality of a cardboard cut out. 

Now look at, say, the movie Joker from 2019, a movie focusing entirely on the bad guy. Our interpretation from then to now of what a villain is has drastically changed. Anakin is a fantastic representation of what I feel a villain should be. He’s a massive reason why I favor the Prequels above both the Originals and Sequels. 

So let’s start with him, shall we? Anakin Skywalker has one of the most fleshed out villain arcs I’ve ever had the privilege to witness. My favorite thing about it being that it’s not rushed. His fall takes place over a total of 6 hours and 56 minutes including credits. That’s a good deal of time for a trilogy, considering he is for the most part the main character throughout.

There are no doubt hoards of angry fans out there that swear that Hayden Christensen was an absolute idiot through every scene. After all, his character has more memes than any other in Star Wars. His hatred for sand is well known. What those fans don’t seem to want to realize is that Christensen did everything exactly as George Lucus asked him too. The Prequels were a love product of Lucas’s mind, and as a creator to me that's a beautiful thing.

Hayden was supposed to be cringy and awkward. You were supposed to wince when all Anakin can think to say is “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.” But this is a 19 year old boy, who has basically never talked to a beautiful woman in his life. I mean let's take a moment to appreciate this outfit:

 That boy that has no doubt used Padme as his spank bank material for the last several years of adolescence. How could you not with her looking as gorgeous as that? She ‘s confident, regal, and smiles at him, and every chemical in his body is no doubt screaming at him to make a move. 

Anakin is a Jedi, prohibited from emotion expression. He has no practice, no training, and absolutely no confidence outside of an overcompensating bravado. This is his attempt at sharing a part of his life with her, a way of opening up when he doesn’t know how. I certainly would not like to look back on how I flirted at 19. Anakin’s inability to talk in a straight sentence makes perfect sense and Hayden and Jake's portrayals were brilliant from start to end. We live in a society where shitty pick-up lines about angels exist.

Also, an extra shout out to the fantastic acting from Jake Lloyd. The community really let him down. 

There’s also The Clone Wars animated series to consider, another brilliant series which is beloved by a portion of the community and dismissed by the other.  Matt Lanter does just as good of a job with Anakin as his other actors. He brings a playfulness to the character that doesn’t always get shown in the films. 

We get a chance to see Anakin in his element, excelling in Force abilities and dealing with a variety of challenges that only further explain how he becomes Darth Vader. His arrogance, anger, and struggle to become what people want him to be, was and remains incredibly relatable to me. He will likely remain one of my favorite characters forever. 

However, as a child it wasn’t Anakin that drew my interest. I wasn’t a very boy crazy kid. I was a little kid who wanted to go into the Marine Corp to be like my father. This made the Jedi as a whole incredibly interesting to me. So as a young nine year old I had the Jedi Code memorized, and would say it like a mantra all the time. Yoda was my internal mentor, and I thought of little else but this escapism.

Some kids wanted to be firefighters and rockstars when they grew up, I wanted to be a Jedi. Though there was a time when I wanted to be a rockstar too. I loved Star Wars in the midst of my father’s alcohol addiction, and my mother’s codependency; with an older brother who wanted nothing to do with me, all while grappling with the fact I would someday become transgender. 

Not that I knew it at the time of course, it was much easier to pretend I was some alien where gender norms and bad parenting didn’t exist. A place where I was the important hero, I think we all have fandoms like this. The ones that saved and damned us.  Coming to eventually accept that watching the Phantom Menace over and over again wasn’t going to have Yoda appearing at my door was devastating. 

Such a disappointment in fact, I forsook Star Wars for a good decade. I hated it, I despised it. Such was the power it had over me, I came to hate sci-fi as a genre. Aliens were despicable, and sci-fi was dumb. Teenage angst gripped me, and I forgot about my childhood whispering the Jedi Code and writing Star Wars fanfiction in notebooks. 

Then in 2019, my husband convinced me to watch the first two Sequels films because he wanted to see episode 9 in theaters with me. I begrudgingly, mostly through my love for him, agreed. I watched episode 7, like a critic. I found everything wrong with it, and hated Rey with a passion. But then I watched the next one, and then we went to theaters to see the last. 

Somewhere in that process the ice around my heart for a series I had adored long ago melted away. I fell into it hard, consuming the Prequels again for the first time as an adult. Those feelings, that love I had before, came back. For over a year it consumed me. We got a cat, I named her Rey. I wrote over a hundred thousand word fanfiction, that I am now in the work of rewriting. We watched The Clone Wars TV show. I listened to a song that reminded me of Anakin, some 180 times or so Spotify told me. 

One of the most exciting parts of watching the Prequels again was Obi-Wan, a character I dismissed as a little boy. I figure he fell into that silly category, such as little girls love Legolas and women love Aragorn. He was a complete sleeper character for me, and it was a blast to actually figure him out. 

Watching them again after all that time, was a lot like watching them for the first time. How I didn’t adore Kenobi before I have no clue. This was especially prevalent when watching The Clone Wars TV series. Satine gave him such a beautiful dimension, and I adore that he so completely captures what a heroic tragedy is. 

I also found him relatable, his loyalty to a wretched fault is something that I myself have had to learn from -- time and time again. And damn can Ewan Mcgregor wield a lightsaber. It amuses me to no end that they were forced to slow footage of his fight with Maul down, because the two of them were too fast for the camera. This dorky guy from Scotland received accolades from a martial artist with years of experience. 

That’s another thing that I heavily prefer compared to the Originals, the lightsabers and their combat. Granted there was a very valid reason for the format in the Originals, I adore the faster pace they were able to pull off later on. Same as I’ve continued to enjoy the fact that more and more colors have gotten to come out and play. Blue, green, yellow, white, purple, red. The list goes on and on, each one with their own meaning. Though, despite blue being my least favorite color, it is likely the color I myself would end up with as a Jedi. I’ve always had quite the Hero Complex. 

Another sleeper character for me, mostly because he falls under that tall, intimidating cardboard cut out character type I mentioned before is Maul. His epic combat sequence and double saber, was well received. But he’s quickly sliced in half in the name of Obi-Wan’s character development. Though let’s be honest that’s what you get when you fuck with the kid who has always been picked last. 

The Clone Wars TV show really brought Maul’s character to life for the first time. For one he was given dialogue, which Sam Whitwer kicked ass at (though I will admit I have a bias toward the man himself, he’s so delightful in just about everything). Love a good “Kenobi” scream. Not only was his voice perfect, his character design was top notch. The way his legs slowly evolve with his character, really showcased his development for the audience. 

Then of course add in his revenge by murdering Obi-Wan’s only significant other, he’s a fan favorite. And if all of that didn’t sell you, there was his fight with Ashoka. A utterly majestically animated combat sequence that had us all on the edge of our seats. 

As a kid another set of well beloved characters flew under the radar for me. The Clones. What as a kid was a bunch of dudes chilling in white armor became tear jerking characters that I mourned for during Order 66. Rex became such a figurehead to sacrifice and duty, the Bad Batch a lovely representation of commitment to a cause that only looked down to them for what were in all technicality, disabilities. Making them A+ models for kids with disabilities, and those that never fit in. 

I sat in silence when clone 99 sacrificed himself for his fellow brothers. Needless to say I no longer see them as just a bunch of white suits. And I just love that Anakin, even as Vader kept his troopers by him with Vader’s Fist. 

I’m not one for war stories, or much action in general to be honest. I am at my core a romantic in love with the supernatural and fantastical. Yet the Clone Wars is the closest I ever came to loving a war story, because that really was what it was. Tales from battlefields, the rise and fall of two sides in a war. 

It ended up a goddamn perfect story. 

And if you are not yet aware of my incredible bias, let me tell you some of my favorite parts. Little bits, I came to adore in my life. Small moments that stick with me as excellent examples of everything I love about Star Wars, this story that helped raise me. 

Every scene that takes place between Anakin and Padme on Naboo. Perhaps to others the quote, “You are in my very soul, tormenting me.” Would be considered terribly embarrassing. To me it was a gradual slide into the grand romantic gestures I would crave and write about in my own works. 

The talk between Padme and Obi-Wan as they both realize every way the universe has come to fail them. Padme mourning a life of lies and disappointments, Obi-Wan finally admitting that he’s failed Anakin. The flex of John Williams as the words “I’m sorry,” leave Obi-Wan’s mouth. 

Followed by the duel on Mustafar, the fall of Anakin and the death of everything Obi-Wan Kenobi ever stood for. A showstopping piece of set design, color theory, and rabid emotion. 

Several scenes in the Clone Wars TV series particularly captured me, left me longing and breathless. Wishing desperately that I could someday make something like that, envy turning me green. The entirety of the slave arc, with both Anakin and Obi-Wan. Such a perfect representation of who their characters are. 

The Umbara arc, a look into the Clones, the way the universe sees them as expendable and useless. Rex’s weariness for battle, the tragedy of the many made individual. 

Satine’s death, the memorable way Obi-Wan leans over her. The mourning of everything he never got to have. Sacrificing himself for an Order that was nothing it marketed itself to be. A pacifist made soldier. 

The scene between  Clovis and Anakin. Nothing made me cackle quite like the way he threw his saber aside to beat the shit out of Clovis bare handed. All that anger, all that love. A showcase of how unhealthy his marriage actually was. 

The duel as I mentioned before between Ashoka and Maul, and her battle scene during order 66. I especially adored the way she used both her sabers to cut a hole in the floor to escape blaster fire. So many scenes, so many moments. It feels good to gush about a series that has become so close to my soul. 

Thank you so much for listening in on this topic. I hope you got a little taste of the Light Side.

Royce signing off.