#I love hobbits and I love lesbians so have some hobbit lesbians

[ineffableoutpost]

Steve Harrington on BookTok

Older Steve who downloads tik tok and begins to make book tok videos without ever having read much. Instead, he makes it like a collaborative book club where his followers suggest books and after he gives them his review.

At first people love him bc he’s this cute fifty year old man with glasses and a husband who was a famous metal star in the nineties and early 2000s. Then there are other people who give him the Pedro Pascal treatment of calling him “daddy” and thirsting for him. Steve shuts that down immediately.

The popular first request was the LOTR series and Steve has to apologize and say that his husband reads them to him and has been doing it for decades now.

Then comes Harry Potter and Steve is a little apprehensive because the author is a piece of shit. But he does read them and has a mini obsession over it.

Then he moves on to other books, and then the queer community of booktok finds him and begin requesting a bunch of queer books. Steve cries while reading The Song of Achilles, but loves it.

Then, they make him read a book full of smut, and Steve makes a video halfway through the book where he’s like;

“You guys are making me read porn!” You can clearly hear Eddie cackling in the background

- - -

Steve makes a special series where he and Eddie purposely read shity books and laugh along the way. (Colleen hover makes many appearances)

*reading about the two characters laughing at their baby’s balls*

Steve: *speechless*

Eddie: *speechless x2* and gay people are the problem?

They look at each other and burst out laughing

- - -

Steve making another series with Nancy and Robin where they look at how some male authors write female characters.

Nancy: *reading* her breasts jiggled excitedly as she descended the stairs

Robin: *laughing her ass off in lesbian*

Steve: *also laughing along*

Eddie: *pops his head into frame* I, for one can account this as true. Steve’s tits do jiggle excitedly

Eddie stitches the video with an old home movie where Steve is running down the stairs shirtless, and his tits do in fact jiggle

- - -

Steve makes a video with Eddie where Eddie explains how he annotated his books and shows his oldest copies of the hobbit and LOTR.

Then there’s a small clip of one of Steve’s annotations in one book and it says “slay”

Cut to Eddie laughing asking where Steve got that word from and how long he’s been using it secretly in his annotations.

- - -

Steve gets an opportunity to partner up with audible or some shit to make a small collection of his favorite books into a subscription bundle.

He’s so excited when he also starts seeing bookshops make a little table with a sign saying “Steve’s Favorites”

He’s so exited because reading and books was something he hated for so many years, but also something he managed to turn positive.

Some stores also display a “Steddie Favorites” with the LOTR series and some of Steve’s selected books.

[olderthannetfic]

I know about the origins of the Bechdel Test, but I do think it's inaccurate to say it's not meant as a criticism of movies that don't do that. I think that when people stop thinking in binary terms of "is this feminist?" or "is this anti-feminist?" and instead look at things more holistically, that you can recognize both that a character like Mako Mori is great, a step in the right direction for female characters in action movies and especially WOC, go forth and stan her and write all the fanfic you want.... but yeah, it is also a valid criticism of the movie (and many others like it) that she doesn't talk to or have relationships with any other woman in the film.

I think one thing to help people realize just HOW much of women's lives are being left out of media representation when we never talk to other named women about something other than a man in movies, is to just think about your own life. I talk to my mom every day, and if we are not talking about my stepdad or my brother-in-law (and I don't think we've ever had a conversation that wasn't at least IN PART not about them or another man), then it passes the test. I'm a professor and when I talk to a female student about her homework or project (which is, again, something that happens pretty much every day I teach), that's passing the test. If I order food from a female cashier and she has a name tag, that's passing the Bechdel Test! It's literally just constant for the vast majority of women on the planet, and that's what's being left out of our stories.

Like, I like the takes I've seen about how part of the joke in Dykes to Watch Out For is that this is *particularly* alienating to lesbians - as a lesbian myself I agree - but I also think it should be frustrating to straight and bi and ace women as well, because like unless you are like exclusively interacting with your husband or male relatives every single day + you work in a workplace where you are literally the only woman, you are almost certainly passing the test constantly. That's a pretty big part of women's lives that Hollywood is leaving out!

But I think it's important to view it as just one piece of the discussion about feminism and women's representation in film, not the final judge on if a film is feminist or not. Which it wasn't intended to be - as you said, it was mostly a joke on the extreme maleness of 80s action movies. Honestly, I do not miss those days on Tumblr where people were obsessed with declaring certain movies/TV shows/other fandoms they liked as "feminist" or "anti-feminist" and the really bizarre granular discussions people would have between two works that BOTH had a long way to go in terms of representing women. I remember people in the Fullmetal Alchemist fandom would use this to argue about if the original anime or Brotherhood/the manga was better - when both have some fantastic female supporting characters, but are ultimately male-centered stories where even a lot of those women's lives and stories are centered around their male love interests and family members. It's better than a lot of shounen, but if that's your bar for feminism - either version - you have a long way to go (and need to watch WAY more anime because there's sooooo much of it that is female-centric). I also remember people coming up with other tests that were blatantly silly: like I thought the Mako Mori test about "if a woman has a motivation/story that isn't centered on a man" was fair because it did point out a legitimate criticism, but there was that ridiculous "Tauriel Test" where it was "a woman who is good at her job." And it was entirely about someone just disliking that movie critics and feminist commentators alike were down on the Hobbit movie trilogy, which a) were bad movies, sorry you have bad taste, b) are absolutely not where you should focus your attention if you're so concerned about women's representation in film, Tolkein has always been a sausage fest! And her big thing was being mad that people thought Judi Dench's M in Skyfall was a better female character, and so she arbitrarily decided she was "bad at her job" and Tauriel was "good at her job" even though that's completely subjective and can be challenged in both cases.... but also, once again, why are you looking to the fucking JAMES BOND franchise for movie feminism! There's nothing like comparing the relative "feminism levels" of JAMES BOND and LOTR to make it obvious that this is 100% about validating your subjective taste preferences by giving it a "progressive" excuse, not actually about feminism and not actually caring about women's representation beyond how it makes you look good. And yet SO many people took that transparently stupid post seriously. I'd see professional articles mention the Tauriel Test as "one of the new tests" like there was anything serious about it.

And then on the flip side, over-reliance on the Bechdel Test alone led to some clueless conclusions especially in anime fandom, given that anime has an abundance of shows that exclusively feature female characters in school clubs being cute, where those characters are nonetheless two-dimensional archetypes designed for the male gaze. Someone like fandomsandfeminism did a presentation at an anime con that called one of those types of shows "feminist" and some Japanese user eviscerated it, but that just led to the equally shallow fandom analysis of "everything a Japanese person says about anime is automatically more valid" and "any Westerner who wants to criticize anime on feminist/progressive grounds is culturally appropriating and ultimately coming from a place of ignorance, even if they literally have a degree in Asian studies."

Wow, this turned into a rant about the history of bad "feminist media criticism" on this website. Sorry about that, I think I had a point in here somewhere. I guess that the Bechdel Test is indeed a joke and those origins should be understood, but also, I don't think it's wrong to say that it identifies a real problem and one that people could probably take MORE seriously than they do - but as just one part of the conversation, not the Feminism Litmus Test, and certainly not as a dick-measuring contest about whose fandom gets them more progressive brownie points.

--

I think as long as we grasp that the joke is "The bar is so far under the ground that we might as well go home and eat popcorn there", it's fine.

The real issue with the test is that people started thinking a pass was meaningful.

If you say something like "X% of 2020s movies can't even manage this weaksauce level of women existing", that's a meaningful statistic. Even if you got a couple of data points wrong, you're not factually wrong enough for it to matter because X is going to be some massive, massive percentage, and the overall trend is so clear.

But a pass is nothing to celebrate, and that's where we went wrong.

Like you say, litigating which of two big franchises that barely do anything with women wins on tumblr points is idiocy.

I think people are so unaware of what media that genuinely centers women even looks like that it's hard for them to even begin having a discussion.

I personally have been a massive fujoshi type from adolescence, and media that centers female characters isn't actually what I typically want. (Though media that is by and for women and that doesn't give a fuck what men think of this is.) I am also not much of a fan of slice of life in general...

But when I was coming out and figuring my shit out, being able to go buy collections of Dykes to Watch Out For was incredibly valuable to me.

Ditto the other lesbian comic books that were just sitting there in the bookstore. I'm sure if I went back and reread them all now, I could find things to nitpick or ways they were more for lesbians and less for me as a bi girl, but the really distinctive thing they did was let me exist in a world where media isn't all 80s sausagefest action movies where women are not people.

In fact, they were a world where men don't matter terribly much—not because they're dramatically rejecting men in some facile and reactionary way but because... who cares? They just had other priorities... and this was normal.

It feels like people who've never taken a vacation from really mainstream media just have no concept of what it would feel like to exist in some other space.

And I think that's a pity even if, like me, they later choose to go read mostly BL later instead of focusing on female characters or they genuinely love trash 80s action movies despite everything wrong with them. It's not just sexist media that's the issue: it's that feeling like the fish can't see the water it's swimming in.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 2 Group A Match 4

expand for propaganda ↓ (major wall-of-text warning. don't say I didn't warn you) (nazi reference has been removed)

KD Lang:

"She's a lesbian (+100 points) and she was just really hot back then (+10000 points)"

"incredibly clear, sensual mezzo soprano voice -- kd lang's music literally transports you into the narrative of the song. they have a very charismatic appeal that makes them very attractive amazing bone structure and i love the short, choppy hair on top of that their fashion sense is peak, from the 1992 miss chatelaine ballroom dress to the suit on the august 1993 vanity fair cover to the shoulder-length hair and orange jacket on 1995's "all you can eat" i would literally give my life for kd lang i'm obsessed"

"VOTE KD LANG IF YOU LOVE LESBIANS. (AND YOU SHOULD LOVE LESBIANS)"

Jarvis Cocker:

"if jarvis wins I'm mailing him my underwear"

"I just want to tuck him in bed and read to him fairytales while he sips a cup of cocoa please is that to much"

"Jarvis Cocker and Jesus Christ share the same initials so that means that they are one flesh meaning that if you love Jesus you love Jarvis and vice versa"

"jarvision the best division 🫡"

"if jarvis wins I'll read The Hobbit in latin"

"I flew to London a couple of weeks ago and the first thing that I did was take the tube to waterstones picadilly and spend there about an hour looking for jarvis' book that they didn't have. Then I made my way (in the rain without an umbrella) to Foyles to see if they had it there and, again, they didn't have it."

"he's 6'3"

"I have never been more sexually attracted to a man than Jarvis cocker in the this is hardcore mv. I want to flatten him out with a rolling pin like pizza dough and then smack him against the wall. I am so horny I should be shot."

"Everytime I see jarvis cocker videos or pics I twirl my hair, kick my legs and giggle uncontrollably. Or I bite my arm and scream. I'm so mesmerised by his beautiful doe eyes and his weird dances that often lean very sexual. He's everything"

"the way jarvis' body is built is just extraordinary yknow like his spindly buglike legs"

"all I want in life is to take a shower with him and wash that greasy ass lice looking hair for once"

"Jarvis Cocker's last name is Cocker = he should win cuz cock haha"

"I want to spoon-feed him my grandma's chicken soup"

"I want to cock you jarvis <3333333"

"hottest most delicious looking man on earth"

"I didn't rant about him in English lang for him not to win"

"I love him a lot he looks like an insect ♥️"

"Jarvis cocker this is hardcore mv. No guillotine could take away the sloppy, disgusting, throbbing, dripping head I would give that man"

"never wanted a man so bad in my life, he looks like a pretty girl whilst having such a nice deep northern sheffield voice, i want him so bad i'm gonna be genuinely upset if my future bf doesn't look like him"

"apparently a girl he had slept with noted that he made sure that he satisfied all her needs in bed IM JUST GONNA LEAVE THIS INFO HERE AND YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH THAT CUZ"

"need to have car sex with him whilst moving his greasy bangs out the way with my fingers"

"i went all the way to ireland to cure my hyperfixation but im still dreaming about the insect man 😍 i want to do the dishes with him"

"Jarvis is the kind of man that will tell you in explicit detail how much he likes to be pegged"

"currently smashing his sheffildian buttocks"

"I'd like to put my head on his shoulder right by his neck and just stay there, with his somewhat shaved beard making contact with my face and some strands of his hair coming loose and caressing me"

"is it zoophilic of me to say that I'm attracted to his insect looking way"

"Jarvis is everything! 90s Jarvis is a sarcastic smart bitter horny devil. 2000s Jarvis is a romantic fool. Current Jarvis? Lyrically, he is still both the horniest and most romantic and imho has the sexiest speaking voice of his generation. I used to listen to his BBC 6 radio show and when he said my name on air during their listener special I lost my goddamn mind. Celebrate the anniversary of it annually."

[faeriefrolic]

tag game 🍓

ty ty @bastardtrait for the tag ily ron 🥰

last song I listened to: i was playing baldurs gate 3 at like... 5am on discord vc and vibing to the music in there so. that. i have the harpy song stuck in my head. i am a useless lesbian that will be lured by them.

favourite place: bed. it has pillow. and even blankie. 2 blankies. and cats to snuggle

favourite book(s): the hobbit. cozy book

currently reading: do the ingame books in bg3 count. cause i am slurping up the lore and gagged at at how there was some erotica novel where a devil called this dudes peepee small

favourite tv show: rn i am loving jacques pepin cooking at home.... sweet french grandpa whose an amazing chef teaches you recipes. cozy af i have him playing in the background

favorite food: ratatouille with some balsamic vinegrette and warm buttered bread... yea

i tag: @hiddencowplant, @ysasimblr, @getboolpropped, @simsandgiggles, @sim-songs, @sharona-sims, and anyone else who wants to ramble 🍄

[pr1nc3y07]

redoing my pinned post cause stuff changed !

what’s up homies, you can call me princey any and all pronouns (mix it up for funsies) and im a minor so dont be weird >:[ ! i’m a nb ace lesbian who has a lovely gf <3 (who doesn’t have tumblr btw) here are some of my current interests/hyperfixations!

- the robins (dick grayson is my baby girl)

- hermitcraft and life series (i’m way behind on episodes tho 🫠)

- ninjago (obvi if you follow me)

- homestuck

- adventure time

- ranboo & generation loss (not super duper active as i’m alot busier these days)

- the hobbit & lord of the rings

- Ace Attorney

- tma & tmagp

- our flag means death

- supernatural (not finished with the series no spoilers please)

and ofc many on and off again interests here and there :]

i have an ao3 account if anyone is interested in my work (@/r3d_hu3d_gh0ul)

i love interacting with my various fandoms and im happy to chat about whatever :D (especially headcannons)

OH OMG I ALMOST FORGOT!!!

i’m neurodivergent if it’s not already obvious so please don’t hesitate to infodump or whatever (it’s so cool to hear about other’s interests!)

[makutaservaela]

Based on the recent reblog, I kinda want to do one now with the cursed out-of-context things from my headcanon's lore:

The CIA once resurrected a bunch of dead people, including Jesus, as hobbits. Jesus was vegetative. They dumped these hobbits on Jesus' old coworkers to babysit without explanation, and then rekidnapped them later also without explanation. It is not currently known where they are.

Dominatrix lizard lady accidentally spawned a baby. Didn't birth it. It spawned on the ground in front of her. She promptly turned around and left quickly.

Old gods gave reproductive organs to a bunch of robots without bothering to explain how these organs work or how to raise children. The Old Gods then screwed off and no one knows where they are.

Except one of the Old Gods, who occasionally forces a Lesbian Forest Hag to steal things for him.

Everyone has just kinda accepted the fact that Lesbian Forest Hag has unexplainable knowledge and randomly steals powerful things from them. Despite this, they never suspect her being responsible for things going missing.

When the characters were switched to organic, several of them were sex-swapped, except Lesbian Forest Hag who was actually already a female and just hiding as a male during the events of canon. She was hiding as a male because she got tricked into a marriage to a bad guy (technically she is Bisexual Forest Hag) and was so ashamed of her husband that she ran away and disguised herself, but for some reason didn't change her name in her disguise.

Lesbian Forest Hag is possessed by an older rejected model of a god defibrillator. Said defibrillator then virgin-births itself out of Lesbian Forest Hag, and forces her to raise it until it sees her stealing an artifact and she kicks it in the face, killing it.

Lesbian Forest Hag is so obsessed with judging her former coworkers that they give her a job at it.

The defibrillator brainwashes some guy into fixing her, is kidnapped by a Skeleton-Orc, and then confuses the Skeleton-Orc's story about having once owned a different defibrillator as a story about her. She then declares him her guardian.

Another older rejected model of the defibrillator gets so sick of its guardians repeated attempts to steal it, that it threatens to wipe out their entire island until they flood half their island, sinking its temple in the middle of a lake.

Skeleton-Orc gang repeatedly use the second older defibrillator to shapeshift the heroes at random until the heroes turn the defibrillator off.

A woman is split in half into two beings and given amnesia. One of her halves ends up re-falling in love with her former also amnesiac boyfriend, while the other half hates him. All three of them are coincidentally all scalies.

There are two separate instances of couples between a character and a character they as an adult literally watched grow up from childhood (in one, the woman is older, and in the other, the man is older). Both cases involve the women dying in childbirth, and the man in one case is the father of the man in the other case.

The heroes have repeatedly kidnapped or threatened to kidnap villain's kids due to thinking villains can't be good parents. They finally stopped and realised the problem in that when one of the kids realised he had been kidnapped and threw a tantrum about it.

The aforementioned heroes who kidnap villains kids due to fearing the villain would make bad parents then fail to supervise their own kids (leading to one's death and one's sentient zombification) and let the others have full-time hero jobs before puberty.

Two characters get married as robots, and when turned organic, they are made into biological twin siblings.

A group of heroes notorious for once having been forcibly shapeshifted into furries get forcibly shapeshifted into scalies. One of them gives birth like this, and the kid is stuck as a scalie even after his parents get turned back.

There is one group of scalie heroes in the entire region, and they reject the aforementioned scalie-hero-kid due to him joining them not being his "destiny". He threw a tantrum, joined a gang, and became a sentient zombie.

A castrated character builds himself a robot wife and then kidnaps his own infant brothers to raise as kids. The robot is destroyed by his former coworkers/gangmembers. His kids are aware their "mother" was a robot and their "father" was castrated by an employer he was working for well before their conception, but are well into young-adulthood before they realise that they're adopted.

The CIA revived some of the Janitor/Scientists and forced them to live as wild animals for a while. Eventually, the CIA stopped governing them and let them return to civility after the former Janitor/Scientists ganged up on and mauled one of their own to death for being an Alpha Male Dudebro.

Two of the Janitor/Scientists manage to survive a Janitor/Scientist genocide (in canon). One by getting sick of her boss' shit and vacationing as a fish for a while, and the other by being so completely useless to his boss that his boss forgot he exists.

A Skeleton-Orc inexplicably obtains a dragon. How or why is never explained. He insists it's the same dragon he has had before (in canon), despite this dragon looking completely different, having completely different powers, and being a female. He also forgets the original dragon's name, and names this one after the original dragon's previous form.

A character's eyes are torn out, causing him to lose his mind for a while. His fellow gangmember keeps him as a pet.

A character is hit by a disintegration beam that he deflects, but causes him to be a perma-teenager.

There is a being who exists between dimensions, is the embodiment of non-existence, and can destroy planets. The only way to stop him is by forcing him back into that space when he breaks out. Said being was made on accident by the Old Gods while they tried to invent a time-traveler. One of the only items that can do this is a sword that is currently in the hands of a the perma-teenager, who isn't even big enough to swing it properly.

The perma-teenager mainly uses the sword to turn himself into a laser turret.

A villain becomes so unimaginably powerful that everyone just gives up fighting her. When she tries to start chaos, they just sit back and let her bore herself before stepping in to clean up the mess.

A villain's entire villain arc is her conviction that two male characters screwed her life over horribly, even though one barely remembers she exists and the other was completely unaware her life was being screwed over and thought she was safe a home.

A character is killed by having a lizard shoved into his eye, and the lizard eats through his eye and then eats him from the inside.

Due to completely lacking social skills, every member of the CIA's primary method of flirting is by harassing the potential partner until the potential partner either gives in or attempts to kill them, on in one case by the potential partner asking someone bigger and stronger to "flirt" with the one pursuing him to teach his pursuer a lesson about boundaries.

A hero group consists of two Skeleton-Orcs, two overpowered Janitor-Scientists, and two members of the hero species, the last four having been groomed up since birth to be heroes. The Skeleton-Orcs are the best heroes of the group and the only ones consistently working and doing hero-work. They are so good at their job that the hobbits they protect offer alliance to the Skeleton-Orcs adopted father and trust him completely.

A character goes on a depressed drug bender after becoming physically disabled, and finally comes out of it after he gets a boyfriend.

A god accidentally pokes out a character's eye. This is never really addressed or acknowledged, despite every other caused disability having a marked effect on the individual afflicted.

[stackofturtles]

Ranking the Fellowship in order of trans masc energy

It is well appreciated that Lord of the Rings is incredibly gay but one thing that I rarely see discussed is just how much transmasculine energy so many of the character, particularly in the fellowship, have. At the prompting of my partner asking me which member of the fellowship has the most trans masc energy I have ranked them from least to most trans masc energy. Note that I am specifically pulling from characterization from the books and not any adaptations.

10. Boromir- easily the lest trans masc member. Cis straight guy.

9. Gandalf the White- I’m splitting Gandalf the Grey and White because they’re energies are so different. This one is kind of frustrating because Gandalf’s death and rebirth could be such a great trans metaphor but also Gandalf the White loses so much of his fun and joy and thus his trans masculine energy.

8. Legolas- Legolas is low on they list because, while he is definitely dripping with trans energy, I see Legolas as more of a she/they or nb energy. I’m sure there are some femboy trans mascs who Legolas represents though, that’s fair, I see you, there is just so much trans masc energy on the rest of the list.

7. Gandalf the Grey- fun old bookish man who likes to smoke, we all hope to be him one day, future aspirations for when I am old.

6. Sam- I struggled with where to put Sam on the list but ultimately put him lower than expected because he could go many different ways- trans masc yes, but i get more he/him lesbian vibes from him. He also give me energy like Jack Black- a cis man with uncanny transmasc and/or butch lesbian energy, and there is so much trans masc energy in the fellowship at this point in the list everyone has a lot of it.

5. Aragorn- embodies so postitive masculinity! His trans masc energy is more representing an aspiration of masculinity than it is literal. Also very outdoorsy and a romantic soul. He was one of the crushes I had a teen which was really me just wanting to be him.

4. Pippin- Plucky young trans guy! Definitely has Peter Pan energy. He will absolutely be get carded at the Bar no matter old he gets. Kind of a lovable doofus but he has a big growth arc where we can see his growth mentally and physically cause the Ent Draughts are absolutely a metaphor for testosterone! Also good friends with Faramir who is also a trans man.

3.  Frodo- our protagonist! Adventurous and somewhat studious short guy, its too obvious really. The fact that he gets his big adventure when he is a little older also gives hope to those of us who transitioned in our 30s that we too could can be a plucky young Jim Hawkins style character on an adventure even though we missed it in our youth.

2. Gimli- SPECIFICALLY BOOK GIMILI- FILM GIMILI HAS NO TRANS MASC ENERGY-(love the movies but Jackson did Gimli dirty). That being said he has perfect noble chivalrous trans masc energy, so much positive masculinity to aspire to. And he’s a short king! He is so willing to throw down for the transfems he loves (Galadrial and Leglos) in true trans solidarity.

1. Merry- Are you gonna tell me Meriadoc is not a trans guy name? He is somewhat bookish like Frodo, and definitely the smartest hobbit in the fellowship. Has so much young adventurer vibes without being too much of a doofus like Pippin. Although this is mostly just part of the movies he is a bit of a fancy boy, i know he has a large collection of floral button ups. Eowyn hangs around him while exploring her gender, queer solidarity there. Becomes a knight of Rohan (goals!) and led the uprising of the hobbits again Saruman And as mentioned earlier the Ent Draughts are a metaphor for testosterone!

 @wretched-mog you asked for this!

[ghooostbaby]

reaction to hilda kilgore of dungeons and dragons honor among thieves (so far)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

a chirpy sassy bard guy and a strong, intimidating, silently eating, violent woman!!!!

this is vindicating all the complicated feelings i had about geralt and yennefer and heteronormative desirability while being obsessed with the witcher OH MY GOD

BUTCH WOMAN BEING THE TOUGH SILENT WARRIOR I AM HEALED

SHE IS BEST FRIENDS WITH THE BARD

THEY ARE RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER!!!!!

wowowowow it is everything the witcher should have been so far!!!

THEY MADE HER STRAIGHT!?!?!?

*sobs*

well they made the person she is in love with have he/him pronouns, i will wait

i am not hopeful

she’s fighting now !!!! hot! her legs aahhhhhhhhhhh

if this woman was sexualized like henry cavill was sexualized as geralt i would be so down

this is like me being rendered completely helpless by chainsaw man women in suits x 10000000000

i see so few women who are not totally feminine on tv/movies it breaks my brain every time

ok. so far all the various magical/non-magical/human/creatures etc are ALL either male interested in female or female interested in male WHAT

WHAT IS THIS

you’re telling me in a society with a proliferation of all kinds of intelligent species YOU ARE ALL STILL HETEROSEXUAL

HOW

WHY

ok the “her” this one guy was talking about being romantically interested in is... an owl monster?

oh now owl monster is a woman.

ok holga’s man is ... a hobbit? hmmm.

(or gnome? idk dnd character typed well enough!)

atleast it wasn't a big strong dude. she made a comment when someone assumed she was married to the bard like "gross, him??" i thought that they were going for masculine woman could never be with some pipsqueak of a man angle, but she's in love with an even pipsqueakier man so that's ... something?

lesbians would have been hot though.

[the---hermit]

2023 wrap up 1/2

As I did last year I am posting a wrap up of all the books I have read during the year. I have linked all the individual book reviews I have posted during the year (I have not posted the reviews of some books for various reasons, but I still included the titles). I have gradually made this post during the year, so I hope past me didn't forget any of the books I read in 2023. This is the first half of my wrap up with all the books I read from January to June 2023

The House At Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne

100 Hugs by Chris Riddell

Monsters by Christopher Dell

The Sandman volume 7 by Neil Gaiman

The Sandaman volume 8 by Neil Gaiman

Cain's Jawbone by Torquemada

Il Segreto Del Bosco Vecchio by Dino Buzzati

Hilda and The Troll by Luke Pearson

Geronimo Stilton and The Kingdom Of Fantasy 1 , book 2, book 3 and 4

The Tower Of Swallows by Andrzej Sapkowski

The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrell

Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell

The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe by Dougles Adams

La Scuola Di Pizze In Faccia Del Professor Calcare by Zerocalcare

Harrow The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Scheletri by Zerocalcare

My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness by Kabi Nagata

How We Read Now by Naomi S. Baron

Niente Di Nuovo Sul Fronte Di Rebibbia by Zerocalcare

Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Deadendia Broken Halo by Hamish Steele

Kafka Diario Di Un Disperso by E.F. Benson

La Lettura by Maurizio Vivarelli

Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie

The Hugasaurus by Rachel Bright

The Golden Bug by Edgar Allan Poe

The Parasite by Arthur Conan Doyle

The Room In The Tower by

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

What Lies In The Woods by Kate Alice Marshall

Daisy Darker by Alice Feeney

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

Through The Woods by Emily Carroll

Interview With The Vampire by Anne Rice

The Lottery and other stories by Shirley Jackson

De Profundis by Oscar Wilde

Mary Shelly L'Eterno Sogno by Alessandro Di Virgilio and Manuela Santoni

The Hobbits Of Tolkien by David Day

The Left Hand Of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin

The Creation Of Mythology by Marcel Detienne

The Phantom Twin by Lisa Brown

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Fangs by Sarah Andersen

We Are The Champions by Tuono Pettinato and Dario Moccia

Dimentica Il Mio Nome by Zerocalcare

She Who Became The Sun by Shelley Parker Chan

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King

Ogni Maledetto Lunedì Su Due by Zerocalcare

The House In The Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune

L'Elenco Telefonico Degli Accolli by Zerocalcare

Macerie Prime and Macerie Prime Sei Mesi Dopo by Zerocalcare

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Please tell me more about your Tolkien-verse OCs????

HAPPILY!!!

I've got Athalia, who's for The Hobbit trilogy, and Kiana and Annunel, both for the Lord of the Rings trilogy. They all exist in the same timeline, with Athalia's story meant to be a prequel to Kiana/Annunel's.

Athalia was originally written as the daughter of one of Bilbo's friends/neighbours and ended up raised by Bilbo after her parent's death. I scrapped that idea a few years ago, though, and made her his childhood friend instead, partly because her staying his niece didn't feel right to me anymore and partly so I could write them being snarky best friends.

Athalia's Not Like Other Hobbits. you know how the fandom characterizes Bilbo's mom as being an adventuring hobbit lady? Athalia is very much the same. She wants adventure in the great wide somewhere and - scandalously - actually goes off on a journey to see all of Middle Earth some 8 years before the start of the story. She comes back from her journey, reuniting with her best friend Bilbo, claiming she wants to settle down again, just in time for Gandalf to show up asking Bilbo to go on his own adventure. Athalia is immediately on board and claims that "surely two bandits is better than one!" And gets Bilbo on board (despite his many many reservations about the whole thing).

She has a lot of information on what she's seen of the world and is very eager to share and learn more, always, always jotting down notes in her journals (she has many) and collecting little trinkets when she can. Her enthusiasm, cheerfulness, and seemingly endless knowledge and opinions successfully seduces Fili after maybe a week on their journey.

Not everything is all sunshine, though. The background of her fic, most important, is that I was watching the Hobbit movies (for the first time) at the same time I was rereading Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden, in which the main character 1) uses a spear as a weapon and 2 (spoilers) ends up getting tuberculosis. I was so compelled by this character and the tragic nature of prequels that it ended up factoring into Athalia's story a lot. I created my own little plague that affects only the hobbit community and is very rare, but has no cure, and Athalia is slowly dying over the course of the story. She's known since before she returned to Bag End - it's the reason she returned, wanting to see her oldest friend before she died. But she doesn't want a peaceful, quiet death, withering away to nothing. So Gandalf's quest is a way for her to have both some time with Bilbo and doing what she loves, seeing the world, and making her last little bit of time on this beautiful earth matter. She's accepted her death.

Until she falls in love with Fili, and worse, finds out he loves her back, which makes everything so much harder. because now she wants to live.

So yeah this fic and her character were VERY tragic in nature, as prequels often are. I never could decide on an ending - killing both her and fili, just killing her (through various means), or in an alternate ending AFTER the tragic one was posted, saving them both.

I totally meant to start writing this fic, but then covid hit, and it just seemed inappropriate to do so after that.

Now onto the happier ocs- Kiana and Annunel! Originally, Kiana and Annunel were supposed to be two separate stories. But then I went well why not put them together? And they ended up together, same story. And together as in they're in lesbians together 💖 because why not???

Kiana is unrelated to the rest of the main cast, princess and heir to the throne of a foreign kingdom in the south. I think canonically it's Umbar but I didn't know that when I made her and chose a random place on the map, and I've just stuck with that. Her kingdom was inspired by ancient Persia. Smth fun about her is that in her country's language their term for "King" is a completely gender neutral term so she's gonna be a woman king. she's very emotional but hides it behind her royal persona and only lets it slip the longer she's with the fellowship. She's also besties with Boromir because their countries are friends with each other and I was fucking sick of all the ocs hating on Boromir, my beloved.

Annunel is the twin of Aragorn. They used to be much closer when they were younger but as they got older they drifted apart. (They're both rangers though. Her nickname with the rangers is "West" which is a little reference to her name which means "west/sunset" in Sindarin. Or says the website I found years ago which I can't find now.) She gets herself tangled into the fellowship before Frodo gets himself stabbed, when she finds them in the woods - Gandalf called her. It's the first time she's seen her brother in years. It's weird. but hey. she's here. (and then she sticks with him when Frodo takes the ring because she's invested now.)

There's a little onesided beef on Kiana's part with Annunel because she and Boromir are both of the opinion Aragorn/Annunel abandoned Gondor and that's a big no-no in her book. But they get past that over time.

(Eowyn gets a little crush on Kiana and Annunel is jealous that's important to me.)

[mer-acle]

So Snow White (2024) has no prince.

*sighs*

How lazy is that? Disney was like "I don't know how to depict healthy romance, so better cut the guy"

I have three immediate ideas how to make the romance work within the story (not involving that slightly sketchy kiss.)

1. Make him a servant. Make him work with Snow in the castle and let them have chemistry or even an established relationship, and after she disappears he starts looking for her.

2. Go with the original. He finds her in the woods, sees the dwarves mourning and after a few days, suggests they should bury her to make it easier. They lift up the coffin, someone trips and the apple gets dislodged from her throat. Then proceed however you want

3. Make one of the dwarves the love interest. Better if they're not all old guys, I love that idea. Loved it in the Hobbit, love it now, and arguably more progressive than StrongFemaleLeader™

4. Lesbian Romance. Idec but make it gay. Immediately more daring than cutting the love interest like a coward.

It's so disappointing how instead of teaching communication, respect and healthy boundaries, the go to "progressive" method is to demonize romance.

Most people are in some capacity interested in romance, and that's okay. It's okay to be 20 and wishing for a bf/gf. It's okay to be wanting a family.

I can't believe the aromantic person has to explain this rn. Being single or Being in a relationship is no indication of how strong a character is, and being a good writer is listening to your characters. Disney's Snow White wants kids and a partner, and taking that from her isn't progressive, it's untrue to her character and honestly pretty patronizing.

[bondibee]

Who is your favorite actor and what’s your favorite movie they’re in? Sending 😴 vibes your way, hope you get some rest!

So fun fact I have really bad face blindness and thus have no idea who any actor is and it's kind of a running joke in my house that I don't know anyone lol-- I like a few actresses purely because I find them pretty, Gillian Anderson is my biggest celebrity crush and obviously I love her in x-files.

Uhhh also uhh Lee Pace is in some good stuff! Pushing daisies was a great show and I loved him as Thranduil in the hobbit. And didn't he also play some weird guy in a marvel movie once.....

Oh also Tilda Swinton because I am a lesbian. I don't know what she's in but I like looking at her.

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Can I have a romantic matchup for the hobbit and Harry Potter?

I am a 20 yr old lesbian who has natural brown hair but I dye it (currently light pink),brown eyes, anxiety,depression,ADHD,autism,and 2 anxiety disorders

Likes

Yellow,Sweaters,Music (70's-mid 00's),True Crime,Flowers,Animals,Writing,Sweets,Food,Video Games,Movies,Stuffed Animals,Blankets,Cosplay,Weed,Incense,Tattoos,Friends,and Family

Hates

Spiders,Bullying,Yelling,Racism,Abuse,Snakes,Any type of pain,Sexism,Being Alone,Loud Noises,Not being good enough,Lying,Homophobia,Hot weather,Being sick,Transphobia,Being used, Arguing,and any type of Addiction

Thanks for requesting another matchup!! I hope you enjoy it!! <333

The Hobbit;

Galadriel:

💫 You met Galadriel when you traveled to Lórien as a traveling merchant, selling clothes and whatnot to earn your keep, but you mostly traveled because you just loved nature; that's when you stumbled upon the Elven paradise

Her royal guards brought you to meet Galadriel, where she asked why you had journeyed to her land

After explaining that you were just traveling around and wandered to her relm, you offered some of the fine cloths that you had in your small wooden chest

Galadriel was impressed, never seeing such silks before, and asked you where you had gotten them; you revealed that you handcraft them yourself

That was when Galadriel offered for you to stay in Lórien as her personal seamstress

The two of you began to bond sometime later, eating dinner beside each other at the long table, drinking wine and whatnot

You spend nights looking at the stars and talking about the pat, present, and future

For her, you had sewn a beautiful robe and she loved it, gifting you a fine set of flowers that only bloomed every ten thousand years in the right sunlight, they called them sunflowers

Most times spent with her, you walked around Lórien, telling each other your secrets

You both were a match made by Valar, and your love would never dwindle

--

Harry Potter;

Narcissa Black:

🎇 You met Narcissa in Hogwarts, but only really became friends with her in the last year at the magic school, and during that year, you fell for her

🎇 You were a bit upset, devastated really, when you heard that she was arranged to marry Lucius Malfoy, thought you were invited to the wedding

🎇 It hurt to see them so seemingly happy, even having a child of their own, but you just wanted her to be happy

🎇 A few years later, after Draco, her son, started at Hogwarts did she confide in you about her straining marriage

🎇 She told you how toxic the relationship was and you felt terrible, supporting her nonetheless you offered her a place to stay

🎇 Staying at your place, you and Narcissa would bake and read together, even planting flowers in the garden toegther

🎇 Sometime later she told you she wanted to get a divorce from Lucius, and you fully supported her, helping her get the papers and documents ready as she told Lucius the news

🎇 Though Lucius was a bit hesitant, he signed them after just a little bit of discord, the only real fight began when Narcissa wanted full custody of Draco

🎇 After a couple of years, just by the end of Draco's fourth year, Narcissa won her case, and Draco moved in permanently with you and Narcissa; it took a bit for the teen to warm up to you, but he quickly realized how much better you were compared to his pretty mentally abusive dad

🎇 In the end, after the war, you and Narcissa got married and practically lives happily ever after

[eyrieofsynapses]

tagged by @falderaletcetera, tysm!!! <3 been a while since I've done one of these. I am So Fucking Tired rn and this is actually a good thing bc I won't overthink this (...as much as I usually do), y'all get off-the-cuff Synapse for once.

Favorite color: blue! Blue blue blue, doesn't really matter the shade, but particularly the color of the sky (ik it's tempting but don't go there I'm too tired rn) just after sunset, the deep rich blue.

Currently reading: Stars, Hide Your Fires by Jessica Mary Best (aka the fabulous creator and writer of the podcast The Strange Case of Starship Iris). I'm adoring it! Queer lesbian sci-fi murder mystery heist, hell yeah. Also the PRETTIEST cover art.

Last song: "Far East Suite" from the first album of the original soundtrack for Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, because the show has a gorgeous soundtrack and several songs are on my instrumental wind-down playlist.

Last series: The X-Files. No I haven't finished it, probably won't because holy shit it's so long. I enjoyed the first season and am feeling meh midway through the second one; it's a bit dark for my tastes, but I love Scully and Mulder's dynamic. I've put it down for the moment because of a lack of time and some of the episodes were getting to me (which is just a generalized problem for me, not the fault of the show).

(...I just realized I actually last rewatched an FMAB episode for brain cooldown. whatever, X-Files is the new one)

Last movie: oh boy. Rocky Horror Picture Show, because it's the Halloween season and thus a queer club tradition; I've seen most of it before but this was my first full watch. Friends described it as a fever dream, which is frankly a wild understatement. Wouldn't dream of watching it on my own, definitely fun to watch it in a room full of other queer people who are whispering jokes, especially when some of them haven't seen it.

Currently working on: uhhh soooo many things. Minecraft house? (I play single player peaceful/easy to unwind.) I just finished oxidizing a bunch of copper for my ceiling (I am a perpetual hobbit hole/hobbit-hole-adjacent person bc fuck exteriors) and it looks lovely. Oh, actually, bubble elevator to get up the massive cliff side I'm stuck next to. Tis the season for experimenting whether or not I can get a mule up and down it.

ok I needed to be in bed ages ago and I got things to do. off to Be An Adult (The Horrors) but first:

taggin some peeps ik and some random peeps from my activity: @mahpotatoequeen @glassfullofsass @jadenebula @hepalien @eater-of-hopes-and-dreams @spill-that-anxietea @snowglyphss (and @magiclynx I see you have already been tagged but I am poking you anyway <3)

[krejong]

Thank you for the tag @except4bunnies! This was a lot of fun :)

rules: list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you

Fair warning: a lot of these are books I read/were read to me as a child because those just hit different (and also I remember those better for some reason)

Wiet Waterlanders en de kleine Caroluscode - Mark Tijsmans (Mark Tijsmans writes amazing stuff, and my mum read me this book and it was so good I re-read it like half a dozen times; also recommend from him Het geheim van te veel torens, de ridders van de ronde (keuken)tafel and de Kronieken van Sooi Molenwieken)

La passe-miroir series - Christelle Dabos (yes I’m cheating. Again. This series taught me the true depths of disappointment. I just have no words for the let-down that were the last 50 pages of that fourth book. But the first two were just masterpieces.)

Het diner - Herman Koch (had to read this for school. Mostly remember that nobody else read it. Truly filled with characters that made me go WTF out loud)

The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien (my love for fantasy started with my dad trying to read me The Hobbit in French when I was distinctly too young for it. I read these on my own much later and I adore them)

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics - Olivia Waite (my first time reading an explicitly wlw romance in book form! The descriptions were really beautiful)

De boekendief - Markus Zusak (this was a real eye-opener for tween me, who had always learned about the Second World War from the perspective of a country that won it)

Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek - Thea Beckman (TIME TRAVEL! Also re-read this one multiple times)

The Complete Call the Midwife Stories - Jennifer Worth (The love is always palpable in these stories. Some characters like sister Monica Joan stay with you for the rest of your life)

Koning van Katoren - Jan Terlouw (I was obsessed with this book as a kid)

Jaspers vlinders - Johan Vandevelde (One of the books that made me realize my sexuality. Also a lot softer than that Dirk Bracke book about lesbian girls, which really was not suitable for a twelve-year old).

No-pressure tagging: @weidli @charlotteflorentine and @punchandspade

[nablah]

hands work slightly better rn so

good day actually. woke early, dad made me a nice breakfast, he hasnt had the energy in a while. got to school early and thought class was cancelled but had a good laugh about it. had global studies which i treat as a morning podcast. went out to 2nd breakfast (like a hobbit) with my groupmates/friends (how lovely an idea to freshman nicky, classmates who are also friends ;-; <3) and sat in the dirty food alley until our clothes smelled. 1st mistake of the day was getting coffee. 2nd mistake was I didn't ensure that it was an americano. they gave me an espresso (i cannot drink high ppm of coffee because of anxiety + i Do Not Sleep Until The Next Day). so i started vibrating like a tuning fork. came out as lesbian and made plans to watch the uni sports thing with classmatefriends just to feel like a college student. went to EM class, kvetched about computational methods class with my matsci friends but i ended up getting some good feedback on my project proposal. still vibrating and also not doing too well on balance. hands started to get useless now. had an AMAZING lesson on gauges and retarded potentials, understood the whole lot. still vibrating. earthquake when prof got to the d'alembertian (sp? we gave up and said french guy) op. went to sit down all lonesome when a research group fellow saw me and we ate together. got home early for last online class of the day (comp methods my beloved beloathed) and crammed a paper because the instructor is useless. tired and still vibrating. also there was an earthquake in tarlac during EM class and i thought i was becoming a lorenz gauge. called my parents in from their sunset walk by setting the dog loose. choked on spaghetti my sibling cooked (why coconut oil). crammed more work.

one of my most living days i think. id rather have days like these. if youve read this far, how was your day?