#I love her so much she is my baby doll and her morals change every couple hours or so depending on what thr boss is weak to

[largemandrill]

Some screenshots that I actually tried to make appealing

[ladamedusoif]

Fairy Lights (Frankie Morales x F!Reader)

A Merry Fic-Mas - December 23

Part of A Merry Fic-Mas: A Pedro Boy Holiday Fic Calendar - click for masterlist.

Follow my writing blog, @ladameecrit, and turn on notifications to keep up with my fics.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Word count: 1450

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Established relationship; fluff central; no use of Y/N; no physical descriptions of reader; Frankie is a girl dad

A/N: Can be read as the same relationship/pairing seen in ‘Sweets’ and ‘Candles’ from this series.

When you’d finally made the decision to move in together, Frankie had one stipulation: his little girl should have her own room, for when she came to stay. 

You’d both agreed that moving into your place was best - you owned it, it was a proper house, as opposed to Frankie’s small rental apartment, and it had a large back garden that you just knew Frankie was scoping out for a swing set and summer barbecue parties.

His lease ended in early December, so it made sense to move in then - but you could tell he was anxious.

“It’s my turn to have her at Christmas,” he explained, “and I’m just - I dunno, I’m just worried she won’t feel at home here, not yet.”

“We don’t have to do this, Frankie,” you’d offered, trying not to let your own anxieties show. “If you feel it would be better for her not to.”

He shook his head and took your hand, bringing it to his mouth and covering it with kisses. “I need to wake up beside you every day, baby. I want this so much.” 

“Me too. Frankie - does she like me?”

“C’mon, baby,” he’d sighed, pulling you to him for a hug. “You know she loves you. You know that, right?”

You nodded as he continued. “It’s just…no matter how much she loves you, it’s a new environment. And with Christmas and all, it might be a lot.” 

“And that little room isn’t in great shape,” you’d added, cursing your decision to put off decorating the smallest bedroom. “It’s a little…bare.”

Frankie’s dark eyes searched yours as you sucked thoughtfully on the inside of your cheek. “You plotting something, bebita?”

***

Frankie and his daughter’s mom agreed that it would be best to have a couple of trial sleepovers in the weeks leading up to Christmas, just after he’d moved in with you. Better that than expecting a five year old to feel comfortable spending the biggest holiday of their year in an unfamiliar house.

You found him staring into the little box room a few days before his daughter’s first visit. With limited funds, you’d had to make the best of the basics in sprucing it up - a simple white bedframe, with pink and purple bedsheets; a matching nightstand, and a wardrobe. There hadn’t been much left for little touches, save for a pink fluffy rug on the hardwood floor and some brightly-coloured curtains. Frankie’s old place had come fully furnished, so he’d only been able to add a few familiar items from her room there: a small bookcase filled with copies of her favourite books, as well as her toys and dolls that lived with her dad. 

You’d tried. He’d tried. But you could tell from his downcast expression that he was still worried.

“She’s got her own bathroom at her mom’s,” he said, eyes revealing how hard he was trying not to offend or hurt you. “That’s Gavin, though.”

Gavin, Frankie’s ex’s partner, was a successful local businessman with a home to match: large, comfortable, perfectly decorated and wanting for nothing. You knew it grated on Frankie, no matter how often his little girl - or her mom, for that matter - reminded him that he was and would always be her daddy, her number one - huge room or no huge room.

“She loved her little room at your old place, Frankie, and this is even more hers - we can paint it and decorate it however she wants, we don’t have to worry about asking for the landlord’s permission.” You reached for his hand and squeezed it. “What matters is that she feels at home here, not how big the room is.”

He’d nodded before changing the subject, asking when you wanted to finish decorating the house for the holidays. As he meandered off to take down a few boxes of decorations from your loft, you stared back into the little room and tried to think.

***

On our way over now. She’s looking forward to seeing you! xxx

On the day of her first stay at your place, Frankie and his little girl had spent the morning hanging out with his mom, doing some Christmas shopping, and visiting their favourite diner for lunch. You sip your coffee at the kitchen table as you wait for them to arrive, hoping this will work out - for Frankie and his daughter’s sakes, above all.

They arrive in a flurry of shopping bags and chatter, the little girl racing into your living room to look at your Christmas tree with her dad. You pop your head around the door frame to say hi, your heart melting at just how like him she is: thick, curly dark hair, olive skin, and those beautiful, sparkling dark eyes. 

She smiles her usual sweet, shy smile and runs over to give you a hug. “I’m excited for our sleepover,” she mumbles, voice muffled by the fact that her face is pressed against your leg. “Daddy said I have a whole new room here.”

“And he’s right,” you add, bringing yourself down to her level. “We made a room just for you, for when you come visit here.”

Frankie rubs the back of his neck nervously. “After the holidays we could look at painting the room however you want, mija,” he suggests, pre-empting a less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the little bedroom. 

You stand up and offer your hand. “Would you like to come see the room?” Her small hand slots into yours and you trot down the hallway together, the little girl detailing exactly what her abuela had for lunch while her dad follows closely behind. 

Frankie had affixed a name sign for her to the bedroom door, and she points at it excitedly. “Maybe Daddy can open the door for you?”, you prompt, and with a deep breath Frankie turns the handle.

You’re not sure who’s more dumbstruck by what they see: Frankie or his little doppelganger. While she starts to wander around the room, mouth slightly open as she takes everything in, he stands just inside the door and keeps looking from the room to you and back again.

“How did…You…How?”

The walls and basic furniture and decor haven’t changed at all, but the room has been transformed since Frankie saw it last with a few simple additions. A stack of folding plastic crates in complementary shades of pink and purple, picked up for a couple of dollars each, stands in the corner, providing storage for art supplies and her toys. You have added a set of stick-on mirrored squares to one wall, creating a sort of full-length mirror that the little girl is already twirling around in front of, her favourite teddy bear in hand. A beanbag with a pink cover is neatly positioned beside the little bookcase, ready to be a perfect reading nook.

But what makes all the difference are fairy lights. One set has been affixed to surround the mirror, entrancing Frankie’s girl as she admires her reflection. Another, this time with pink lights, is wound around the head of her bed, casting her pillows in a warm, rosy glow. And as a seasonal touch, you’ve strung a set of gingerbread man-shaped lights along the top of her wardrobe.

She spins to look at you and Frankie before racing over to him for a tight hug. “Thank you, Daddy. It’s like a magic room.”

He scoops her up and looks at her. “A magic room?”

She nods, expression serious. “With the twinkly lights. It feels like it’s magic.” She wraps her arms around his neck and tells him he is the best.

***

Frankie settles her to sleep that night and returns to flop beside you on the couch. You’re about to pour him some wine when he sits up and mutes the sound on the TV.

“Alright, you didn’t correct her when she thought it was me who did that but I need to know - how.”

You smile as you sip your wine. “What do you mean, how?”

“You know what I mean. The room. The fact you made it look literally magical to her with no budget. How?”

“You just gotta know where to look for bargains, baby,” you explain, thinking about how excited you’d been to find the crates for next to nothing in your favourite bargain store. “And the beanbag is my old one. I just had to get a new cover. Oh - and little girls love fairy lights.”

He shakes his head, amazed and affectionate. “You did all that in a few hours, and for her.”

“For her. For you. But mostly for her. And I’m so glad she likes it.”

[itsmebytch001]

can i request the morales family with a toddler reader who has a bad habit of running off or disappearing, and also do you think aaron would have those baby leash things? its like a backpack with a stretchy thing attached to keep the child from running off?

You developed the habit of going on walk about at 6, the first time it happened you two where going clothes shopping, when he turned around with a pile of things for you to try on, you were gone.

you were gone

YOU WERE GONE

Holding a hand full of clothing he began to walk up and down every isle yelling for you, drawing the attention of the shop employees and sourouding shoppers. One lady approched him with a name tag, Sammy.

Sammy: "Excuse me Sir, is everything okay?"

Now, Aaron wasn't stupid, he knew if he a single Dad expressed that he had lost his daughter, they would under mine him as a parent, maybe even get child services involved, but he had now checked every single isle and you were no where.

Had someone taken you?

Where you lost?

Aaron: "No, no I've lost track of my daughter"

Sammy: "Okay, well what dose she look like? I'll send out a call for her"

Aaron: "Uh, well she's 6, but looks a bit older, a bit chubby, long black curly hair, uh wearing a purple sweater and black joggers"

Sammy: "And her name?"

Aaron: "Y/n"

Sammy: "okay" She leant into a tiny speaker on her tshirt.

Sammy: "Were looking for a missing 6 year old, wearing a purple sweater and black joggers"

Aaron was still looking over the isles while standing in front of Sammy, scanning again and again over the shop just to catch a glimpse.

Sammy: "We can take you to the front of the shop to do a call out if you like?"

Aaron: "Yeah Yeah" He wasn't really listning, just still looking over the store, Sammy began to lead him to the front of the shop where there was a small desk and a mic.

Sammy: "Once I press this button, anything you say will be blasted around the store, okay?"

Aaron: "Okay"

Sammy pressed the red button, and Aaron leaned over to the mic.

Aaron: " Y/n, Its me Papa, If your here I really need to come to the front of shop, where the plastic models are, okay? I'm not mad, just please come"

His voice echoed in the store, while across the area shoppers and employees where looking for you, and after about twenty minutes Aaron kept just pacing again and again at the front of the shop, until another shopper came to talk to them. "excuse me, but there's a little girl who's locked herself in a changing room and is refusing to come out"

And so Sammy escorted Aaron into the girls changing room, ignoring the strage look from other Mom's and young girls, and he understood why, he a grown man was standing in the Womens section of the changing rooms and trying to get a small girl out from one of the rooms. Aaron knocked on the door.

Aaron: "Baby Its me, can you please open the door?"

Y/n: "No."

Aaron: "Why not?"

Y/n: "Beacuse I like this dress"

Aaron: "Okay?"

Y/n: "And I know you won't let me buy it"

Aaron: "And why's that?"

Y/n: "Because Its $74 dollars"

Aaron: "Baby, that's way to much for just one dress"

Y/n: "NO! I Love this dress and I'm not leaving until you buy it"

Aaron: "Y/n...Open this damm door"

Y/n: "No"

Aaron: "Open the door"

Y/n: "NO"

Aaron began to giggle the door knob to no avail.

Aaron leaned over to Sammy.

Aaron: "Do you have a master key or something?"

Sammy: "Yeah, Ive sent someone after it"

He groaned as he giggled the door again.

Aaron: "Open this door right now Y/n or I'll give away ALL YOUR DOLLS"

Y/n: "NO!" You screamed back.

Aaron began to bang on the door with a closed fist again and again.

Aaron: "I will Y/n Don't play with me!"

Eventually after about a half hour of yelling back and fourth, finally another employee came with the master key, Aaron backed away from the door and watched as Sammy opened the door, you rushed out the room full speed, Aaron tried to catch you in that yellow dress but you slinked past him, sprinting down the hallway and towards the exit, it took Aaron to fully tackle you to the ground to stop you from running past the detectors.

It was due to this incident that you were forced to wear a child leash, or course miles gave you flac, while he was able to walk freely where ever he liked, while you were a dog.

Whenever you would make a run for it, your Dad would haul you back so quickly your whole body would jolt forward, but you found a way around it...The Micheal Jackson Lean...

You would lean so much forward that if it weren't for the leash you would fall forward, and if Aaron moved towards you, you would fall on your face, now of course Miles also found this funny, Aaron was paranoid that people would take this as abuse, get child services involved. But eventually, after about a year you finally stopped trying to run off, and you were free from the child leash.

[jake-g-lockley]

hi there! I'd love to request prompt 4 and/or 7 with Frankie Morales, please, I would actually start screaming, hope you're having a lovely day <3

Chocolate Eyes (Frankie Morales x reader) Masterlist | Spotify Playlist | Want to be tagged?

Prompts: The hand behind their nape when they’re embarrassed, Almost kissing but someone walks in 0_0 A/N: Hi there!! Thanks for the ask <3! I hope you’re having a lovely day too. Frankie fluff is like a drug to me, so I hope you like this hehe Word Count: 1.6k

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Your best friend waddled around the room, looking for a dress that she had been begging you to try on. She moved particularly quickly for someone so heavily pregnant and it made you very anxious.

“Slow down Jess, you’re going to push that baby out of you.” you chastised her with a small chuckle.

Jessica yanks the white and blue sundress from her closet with a “Tada!”. You stare at it, wondering whether you could look even remotely pretty from something so beautiful. It had a low neckline, puffy sleeves and screamed summer but you shook your head, feeling that you could not pull it off.

“Oh come on, honey, you’ll look great. Trust me, you’ll definitely turn some heads.” she said, kissing your forehead and wiggling her eyebrows.

You rolled her eyes at her comment. She didn’t mean “some heads”, she was talking about one specific head that you’d pick out of the 7.8 billion heads on the planet. It had been a few years since you saw him, with you going to university. You had given up on him after he didn’t show up to Jessica’s wedding to William Miller, willing yourself to forget about him.

But here you are, a small sad frog playing on your broken heartstrings, trying to piece back together the feelings that you had for Frankie Morales. You missed his curly brown hair that was hidden under his cap and his beautiful smile that was accentuated by a perfect little dimple on his right cheek. You missed his eyes, the beautiful eyes that were the colour of freshly melted chocolate and were full of so much kindness.

You gave Jessica a small smile as she rubbed your shoulder sympathetically.

“Look, this is your chance to get to know all of the cute young bachelors that are going to be at the baby shower. I’m not letting you go without dolling you up. After all, this can just be my practice round before this little princess grows up.” she says, rubbing her tummy.

“Fine, as long as you don’t make me look like a clown.”

“Aye, aye, captain!”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Jessica kept her word and you gasped at your reflection when she turned the makeup chair around. Soft makeup adorned your face, accentuating your features and your hair fell around your head in magnificent curls. A jewelled headband adorned your head and the dress fit perfectly. You gave Jessica a big hug before holding her hand and leading her downstairs for her baby shower that you had been preparing for all day. At the bottom of the stairs you were met with Santiago who gave you the biggest smile and hugged you tightly.

“¡Ay, chica! When did you take your nose out from your books and decided to visit us?” He chuckled as you pout and punched him playfully in the stomach.

“Oh I’d save that punch for someone else if I were you, if you know what I mean.” he said almost immediately and you frowned further, administering another punch, making him groan. “Leave her alone Pope, how’ve you been, sweetheart.” Benny pulled you out of Santiago’s arms and into his, making you squeal.

“All good, Benny, still being a menace?” you smile sweetly up at the 6 feet tall man.

“As always.” he replied with a small smile playing on his lips.

You couldn’t help but look around for Frankie, your eyes searching hopefully willing for them to meet his sweet brown ones, but to no avail. You sigh and help Jessica to her seat, when the front door opens and the atmosphere of the room changes. Your heart stilled the moment Frankie waltzed through the door, every cell in your body screaming for oxygen as you conveniently forgot how to breathe.

He looked different, a little older with a few grey hairs decorating his crown of brown curls. He had ditched his usual hat and casual shirts for a more formal button down and slacks. The crows feet were more prominent at his eyes when he grinned, but they framed the same beautiful eyes that you had been looking for all these years.

He stopped in his tracks when he looked at you but he didn’t look surprised at your presence, but more of your appearance. He took a second to look you up and down and you blushed, a smile creeping up your face as Jessica tapped your hand. William shoved Frankie’s shoulder with his, nudging him forward. It was then when you noticed he was holding two bouquets.

He knelt down in front of Jessica and kissed her forehead, handing her a bouquet of beautiful pink roses which she cooed at. He then slowly stood up and turned to you, his eyes big and wide as he took in your appearance from up close. You wanted to scream at him, hit him and walk away but you were held captive by his matured beauty. His hand found yours and he brought it up to his lips, kissing it gently, sending an array of butterflies to attack your insides.

“Hi.” he whispered and you didn’t realise how much you missed the sound of his voice.

“Hi.” you said back as you clutched the hand that he kissed close to your heart.

He handed you a bouquet of blue dyed Gardenias and you took a second to glare down at Jessica who was busy sipping on her juice and grinning at her husband.

“They’re beautiful, Francisco, thanks.” you whispered and he raised a hand to the nape of his neck and blushed.

You couldn’t help but grin at his bashfulness, letting him stir you aside as guests started to pile into the house with gifts and well wishes for Jessica. He plucked a flower from your bouquet and tucked it behind your ear, letting his hand slide down to graze your jaw and tip your chin up to meet his eyes.

“You look heavenly.” he breathed.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” you say, feeling yourself get dizzy from all of the attention he was giving you.

Your sweet dream was broken when Santiago yelled, “Catfish, you simp, come here we gotta toast!”

You rolled your eyes at your boys and smiled down at the beautiful bouquet, your heart feeling content for the first time in a long time.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You busied yourself with carrying the gifts up to the nursery, arranging them in piles so that the Millers could have a proper look at them once the party was over. A soft knock sounded at the door and before you could say anything, Frankie opened the door and slipped inside. You smiled at him and he carefully approached you, sitting cross legged beside you.

“Sorting the gifts, huh? Anything good in here?” his first full sentence to you in years made you look up from your work instantly.

“Other than burp clothes and tons of nappies, nothing that we could use.” you chuckled.

Frankie reached out and grabbed a big teddy bear, observing its face before hugging it close to his chest. The action made your heart yearn bad and you stifled a smile as you watched him snuggle his nose into the bear’s head.

“How’ve you been, miel?” he asked, tilting his head so that his eyes met yours again.

“Could have been better, you?”

“About the same as you.” he replied, sighing into the teddy.

“Feels like I’m missing something.” you decided to casually take a leap.

“Me too, miel.”

Frankie straightened his back and scooted closer to you, the smell of his cologne enveloping you in sweet memories. You bit your lip and furrowed your eyebrows, almost as if you were pleading with him to do something about the gap that was between the both of you. Slowly, he got closer and closer, until you could count every single one of his eyelashes that framed his eyes perfectly.

If you tipped your head slightly to the right, your lips would have been on his and you would have felt complete but the door swings open for a second time, causing the both of you to jump away from each other. Benny Miller stood there holding a bottle of wine in one hand and his tie in the other and you mentally cursed him for his perfect timing. His eyes were wide as saucers as he noted the way your hand magically clutched onto Frankie’s thigh.

“Andddd that's another moment ruined by Benjamin Miller. You’re welcome folks.” he said, giving you both a two fingered salute and scurrying away before Frankie could come to his senses and beat the living daylights out of his best friend.

You found yourself giggling, remembering the other moment ruined by Benny that included his brother and your best friend attempting to get some alone time together.

“Oh that bastard, I’m going to kill-” Frankie attempted to stand up but you pulled him down, tired of waiting any longer.

“Shut up, Frankie.” You breathed before letting yourself fall onto the carpet and pulling Frankie down with you, causing his lips to come crashing down against yours with a shocked groan getting caught in his throat. He immediately took hold of the reins and kissed you back, years of tension easing from the way his lips moved against yours in a slow dance.

He pulled away only when he started to suffocate, refusing to leave the safe sanctuary of your soft breaths against your face. He kissed your forehead, nose and cheeks before lying down beside you and staring at the impressive mural that William had painted on the ceiling of the nursery. He laced his fingers with yours and kissed the back of your hand again, before clutching it close to his heart as his breathing slowed.

“We should do that more often.” you whisper into the air.

“We really should.” he whispered back, a smile gracing his face. 

Reblogs are appreciated ~~~~~

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 102 - The Past, Present, and Future, Part 1

The Lemons arrive at their rental in San Sequoia, and the weather is about as gloomy as Ophelia feels right now. Still, it's exciting to be going on their first vacation as a family. Maybe it will make this whole thing suck less.

Xander takes Gemma back to her room for their stay and gets her ready to take a nap.

Xander: Are you going to be good for Miss Celeste? I know you will!

Gemma: 😇

Ophelia watches her husband dote on their daughter. He's nothing like her father. It's amazing.

Ophelia comes over and soothes Gemma after Xander lays her down.

Ophelia: Sleep tight, baby doll. We'll be back soon.

Xander: Are you sure you want to do this right away?

Ophelia: I just want to get it over with. I'm afraid if I don't do it now, I never will.

He nods. He can't relate to her feelings on her parents do he doesn't want to dictate how she should approach it.

They arrive at the office building for Lemon & Lemon shortly after Celeste comes to keep an eye on Gemma.

The building looks exactly the same as it did the last time Ophelia saw it, many years ago.

Xander's here mostly for moral support, since Ophelia has decided she wants to speak to them alone.

Xander: If you need me, give me a shout. Or if things take a turn for the worst, I know a guy who could hook us up with some botched pufferfish nigiri.

Ophelia: Thanks, babe.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Ophelia: I don’t need one. I’m Richard and Jane's daughter.

Receptionist: Oh! You must be Ophelia. I’ve heard so much about your internship at UBrite.

Ophelia: Oh I bet you have.

Ophelia arrives at their office door and hesitates. She can't remember everything she's been scripting in her head the past few days. What if she makes a total fool of herself?

Well, they already think pretty lowly of her. Guess things can't get much worse.

Ophelia bursts into the office to find her parents talking about an upcoming case. They're elders now. They've changed so much since the last time she saw them... she doubts they've changed internally though. Guess we'll find out.

Richard: Excuse me, just what do you-

He pauses, once it finally registers with him who he’s looking at.

Richard: Ophelia?

Jane somehow doesn’t seem as shocked.

Jane: Ah, Ophelia. I didn’t know you were in town.

Ophelia: Yeah, you don’t really get to know stuff like that anymore when you disown someone. You also don’t get to lie about it to the whole city! What's this I’m hearing about me taking over the firm?

Jane: Nice to see you too, dear. We're doing great, thanks for asking.

Ophelia: No, don’t you DARE give me that passive aggressive llamashit. Have you two seriously been telling people the reason I left is because I went to law school? What, were you embarrassed to admit you threw your own child out into the streets like trash?

Jane: Don’t stand there and play victim. Your father and I gave you every opportunity to succeed and you squandered it for a silly pipe dream!

Ophelia: I know you don’t keep up on trends because that’s too close to having fun but that ‘silly pipe dream’ made me a 2-star celeb!

Ophelia: That’s right, I made it! People love my music, and that might not mean anything to you but it means the world to me! Honestly, I should thank you for kicking me out. Having your toxicity out of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me!

Jane: Here we go with the dramatics. I would have hoped you’d grow out of this by now, Ophelia. I’m SO sorry we fed and clothed you and sent you to the best schools with the best tutors. Oh, what awful parents we were!

Ophelia: You don’t get to talk to me like that anymore!

Ophelia: Nothing you did in my entire life was because you gave a rat’s ass about me. Everything you EVER did and ever do is about status. I’m sure that’s why you lied to everyone about disowning me, because deep down you KNOW it was a shitty thing to do.

Richard: You’re one to talk, young lady. I had to find out about my mother’s passing after the fact. How could you not invite us to the funeral?

Ophelia: Gran wasn’t subtle about hating you two after what you did to me. Besides, I figured you'd be too busy with work to show up!

Jane: Did you come here just to throw a tantrum, Ophelia? Unlike you, we have jobs.

Ophelia: Are you not listening? I have a job! I’m the lead singer in an up-and-coming band!

Jane: I meant we have REAL jobs that matter, darling.

Ophelia: UGH!

Ophelia: You know what? I don’t need to prove myself to you two! I have an amazing life and I’m surrounded by people I love. That’s more than you two can say! You have to lie just so people won’t know how scummy you are.

Jane: We lied for YOUR sake, but we should have known you wouldn’t be grateful.

Ophelia: Enlighten me! How does that help me in the slightest?

Jane: We figured you’d come crawling back once your little music thing inevitably blew up in your face. We were protecting you.

Ophelia: As if. You were protecting yourselves, just like you always do.

She smirks.

Ophelia: Well, I’m almost a B-Lister, so your lie is about to unravel. Since you were doing it to protect me, and surely not yourselves, you won’t be ashamed when news gets out, right?

Jane glares at her daughter.

Jane: I don’t know what we ever did to you to make you so spiteful.

Ophelia has a lot of things she could bring up. The missed birthdays. The meals she was denied because she got a B on a test. The isolation.

Ophelia: You know exactly what you did.

She thought she’d feel like the queen of the world after confronting them, but they really haven't changed.

Ophelia: I thought maybe after all this time, you two would feel a LITTLE bad for what you did to me, but I guess that just proves how little I ever mattered to you.

Richard: Of course you matter to us, that’s why we don’t want you to waste your life! You’re our daughter!

Ophelia: No! I would NEVER treat my daughter how you treated me!

Richard: You… You have a daughter?

She didn’t want to tell them but no going back now.

Ophelia: I do. Unlike you, my husband and I will support her no matter what.

Jane: You have a husband too? It wouldn't have killed you to tell us. Do you know how bad it’d look if someone brought them up and we had no idea?

The AUDACITY of these people!

Ophelia: When you disown someone, you're not entitled to updates on their life anymore. And you’re going to look EXTREMELY bad when I’m a five star celebrity and you have to explain to everyone that you lied to them.

Ophelia: You got the last word when I was a teenager, but I’m an adult now, and you know what? I’m happy. I have the life I’ve always wanted… and it’s becoming more and more clear every day a good life for me will never include you two. Have the lives you deserve.

They return to the rental shortly after. Ophelia didn't really say much to Xander. She just wanted to get back to Gemma.

Ophelia: There's my little girl. Come here. Mommy could really use a cuddle.

Her heart is heavy right now, but Gemma knows just how to make her feel better.

Ophelia: I'll love and support you no matter what, okay? You could grow up to be a damn rodeo clown for all I care. No matter what, I'm always in your corner.

Ophelia doesn't even understand how her parents could be the way they are. She only wants her daughter to be happy.

Ophelia: I'm not going to let them ruin our fun. We're going to have a good day tomorrow, aren't we? Do you want to go to the splash pad?

Gemma: A buh!

Ophelia: That's definitely a yes!

It's time for dinner. They eat a pizza while watching TV in the living room of the rental when Xander breaks the silence.

Xander: I hope you got what you needed today.

Ophelia contemplates this and smiles.

Ophelia: I think I did.

Ophelia: Seeing my parents so old and bitter… They might not have begged for forgiveness as I would have liked, but they reminded me who I don't want to become. Thank you for being here for me.

Xander: Of course, Lemon Cake. This trip can only go up from here!

Gemma's just been flopping around on the ground during this heartwarming conversation, love that for her

[blondrichclosetwitch]

But I thought this wouldn’t hurt a lot,

I guess not

Dreaming up an alibi

Nothing feels good like you

Limbs clenched so hard

All I want from you is a letter and to be your distant lover

that’s all I can offer at this time

Man, these bitches get scared, they tellin, tellin'

Pluto and Jupiter, I go to Venus

'Cause I got a really big team and they need some really big rings (to me this is a reference to a past life I learned about from a teacher who saw us as brothers, and he compared us to planets: Blond was Jupiter because she had the money, and I was saturn who had the wit. He went on to say that I was going to write about us, and that it was going to be hilarious. Saturn of course has the big rings.)

What happened to that, that chubby little kid who smiled so much and loved the Beach Boys?

What happened is I, I killed that fucker and I took his name and I got new glasses

When I’m closing in on death

Heroine, be the death of me

“It’s my wife.”

Hit this one out of the park

Every time you close your eyes, lies, lies (one of the practices done on me and Jakk was like a subliminal repetition that would work on us while we slept)

I really want to see you

Substituting your lies for fact

Substitute you for my mum

All my celluloid scenes are torn at the seams

Ex-cowboy (one of their calling cards for Jakk was lonesome cowboy bill, about how all the girls were hot for the lonely rodeo guy, so might be a reference to some change in his status)

Like the video films we saw

The barbarians are coming but will the dreamers stay strong

Barramundi

I Love my baby; and my baby loves me

Mars (a lot of action today)

I’ll Follow you down down down (I made a recording of me singing this in the tub for Jakk, it’s something they used to like me to perform, yes, it’s got it’s own dance)

Gain the weight of you and then lose it, believe me I could do it (have you heard the story of as the pandemic began, tricking me into believing I was pregnant? That went on for five months, because you couldnt get to the doctors. I even wrote Jakk a letter that was delivered to his work telling him I was expecting and I needed to keep calm. anyway imho that was the meanest thing she did. Though the decapitated animals was pretty bad.)

Ain’t it funny? All the twisted games

As we lay upon your bed (twisted games as you lay upon my bed; you mean like the tub of urine you threw on the underside? Or are we talking about the animal blood on the wall? Laurie I’d be happy to show you these things)

You know I’m still somebody’s daughter, see

Who the hell is in your bed (Stella says she can name the participants)

With the endless: SERGEI: I shall see her again. I know that in my heart. One last time. Until then, I shall continue to send people to her.

Girls all In your bed and they just ask a hunnid questions

Whole lot of 6’s

Got the key, and now the door’s open and we all goin through it

Oh and she’s known in the darkest clubs

“If she says she can do it, she can do it.” Speaking of I’ve been making a list of what was done, and how much other practitioners charge…I was being “trained” by January 2016, and the full plan didn’t start to go into effect for seven months. There was candle workings, dolls made, an unborn invoked and tethered, spells of the mind, not to mention a spell to break us up (that was the original thing she was hired for),…many of these are spells that you work on slowly, so monthly charge for each of those. And of course there was the getting me to trust her. Many of you don’t know that the TR was my closest female ally in nyc. I trusted her with everything. Even her LP knew there were times I only could handle talking to the TR, nobody else. I fell for an intimacy that was a fabrication, funded by a millennial who had a trust fund. Moral of the story: love all, trust few and beauty is only skin deep. Don’t fall for it. They’ll lie to your face while looking you in the eye without batting a fake eyelash.

Oh could it be

I passed you by a thousand times before

Not knowing who you were Then she sees the uneasy look on his face She goes back to work and all her friends are pointing

She thought she'd turn a boy into a man but in real life some things don't go to plan

Welcome to no sympathy night

I was enchanted to meet you.

(Go west) this is our destiny

Chicago

Down in New Orleans

In New York City

Don't ask me questions that you don't want the answers to

The world is so loud, keep falling, I'll find you

starvation's necessary

'Cause my head's a dictionary

“I know, dear It has been a brutal year”

Prince Johnny, you're kind, but do be careful when all your friends and acolytes are holding court in bathroom stalls

Well, your eyes flash out a warning

And we'll take this man, left almost passed out til he forgets the crawling way real people sometimes are

[the-bau-quinjet]

Memories, Pt. II

Summary: You were captured by Hydra. What did they do to your memories?

Warnings: mentions of violence, panic attacks

Word Count: 1982

a/n: Ahh, part 2! I hope you like it :)

I know it's only been a day since part I, but this really felt like it took forever to write. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though. Again, sorry if it's confusing! Hopefully you understand the concept I'm going for.

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

4 Years Ago

"Y/N!" Steve called out to you from down the hall, a man with dark hair walking beside him. "I'm glad I caught you. Buck came back from a mission last night, and he's the only one left for you to meet."

You eyes lit up at the mention of Bucky. You'd always admired him for the steps he took to recover from his time at Hydra.

"Hi, I'm Y/N." You smiled, trying not to sound too eager. "It's an honor to meet you Sergeant Barnes."

"An honor?" His eyes sparkled with disbelief. "And please, just Bucky."

You nodded at his request before explaining. "An honor, truly. Sorry to be blunt, but you've been through hell and are still out there helping people every chance you get. You're a hero." You whispered that last line conspiratorially, knowing he would get flustered from your brief conversations with Sam Wilson.

"Did Wilson put you up to this?" He questioned, a tell tale flush blooming on his cheeks.

"Just the hero bit." You chuckled when he rolled his eyes. "Everything else came from me." You waited a beat before continuing. "It's true though. You are a hero." You winked before saying goodbye and continuing with your night.

Steve stared at his best friend as he watched you walk away, knowing exactly what that small smile meant. "You like her!" He accused, although lightheartedly.

"Shut up, punk. I just met her." Bucky tried to stop smiling, but your lingering first impression left him feeling giddy.

"Doesn't matter. It's true." Steve easily dodged Bucky's fist. "You don't have to admit it, but I know."

The two men continued down the hall, Steve teasing Bucky when he was still smiling 10 minutes later.

-

Present

You must've fallen asleep eventually, because next thing you know you are waking up to a room full of people. It takes a minute for you to recognize all of them, but you know the names and reputations well enough to figure it out.

Bucky has his head resting on the edge of your bed, your hand still encased in his. You involuntarily squeeze his hand, as if your muscles have a mind of their own, to gain his attention.

It's comical how quickly his head flies up, gaining the attention of the multitude of superheros in the room.

"You're awake!" Wanda shrieks, beyond relieved to see you home.

"What happened?" Sam adds on, concerned for what you went through.

"Are you okay?" Nat questions as well.

Your eyes flicker between them, unsure how to respond to any of them. Luckily for you, Bucky clears his throat to capture your attention.

"How are you feeling?" Your body instantly relaxes at the softness of his voice, as if remembering things you don't.

It's weird, lying in a room full of people who believe something you know not to be true.

"I, um, physically I feel fine." His eyes on you pull the truth out. "I, um, I'm still kind of confused about what's going on though."

He presses a kiss to your palm, again easing the tension from your body.

"You don't remember anything?" Nat's first to speak up, her typical skepticism peaking through.

"Not about the mission. I mean, I was kept in that room the entire time I was there." Three years flashes in your mind. Why do they think it was only three months? None of this makes sense. "I know all of you though." You're careful not to lie, knowing she would likely spot it.

Their faces relax as they take in your statement, causing a jolt of anxiety and stress to run through you.

Hydra may have convinced you that 38 people died at your hands, but your own personal morals haven't changed. You've accepted "the incident" as they put it was your fault, but that doesn't mean you're a cold blooded killer. They didn't have enough time to change you that much.

Steve, although upset with the lack of information, understands the position you're in. It's easy to see he's still worried about what happened to you while you were "captured".

"Why don't you go up to your room and decompress. The memories could still come back to you."

You can't help but smile at the kindness being shown to you. You give him another small smile while nodding, trying to figure out a way to get someone to take you to "your room" because you have no idea where it is.

"C'mon, I'll help you." Bucky wraps an arm around your waist as you stand, and although it's the first time you've experienced it, it feels completely natural to be in his embrace.

Everyone calls out statements of encouragement and well wishes as the two of you walk out of the med bay. You do your best to not marvel at everything you pass, simply trying to remember the layout of the building.

A few turns later, you've arrived at an elevator where Bucky presses the button for your floor. When the doors open again, he guides you through a hallway to what you presume is your room.

"Thank you, for helping me." You turn to him before stepping into your room.

"I would do anything for you." He whispers back, hand still rubbing your hip. When he leans in to kiss you, you panic.

"Um, I'm going to take a shower. Maybe feeling clean will help with all of this." You vaguely gesture to the air, unsure how to put everything into words.

"Oh, uh, sure. We can talk later?" He hides his confusion at your behavior, understanding how weird it can be to readjust.

You nod before closing the door, leaving him slightly stunned in the hallway. A few steps into your room, and a friendly Irish voice is calling out to you.

"Welcome home, Ms. L/N. Would you like to hear your messages?"

Your heart rate spikes as you rapidly look around the room, trying to spot the intruder.

"Who, who said that?" You continue spinning, trying to spot the voice.

"My name is Friday. I am an AI built into the compound." Your breathing settles as you begin to comprehend the information. Nobody is in your room. You're alone.

"Oh. Okay." You continue taking deep breaths, trying to prevent the panic from settling in now that you're alone.

"Would you like to hear your messages?" The AI asks, again catching you off guard.

"What messages?" You can't deny that you're intrigued by the concept of someone leaving you messages here. "What the hell happened? What is going on?" You mutter to yourself.

"You left for a mission 3 months ago. Communication was cut off 2 days after your departure. All resources were diverted to finding your location and bringing you home." Friday announced, as if it was common knowledge. You would suppose it should be if it was true.

"3 months ago? I was there for 3 years. I've never been here before! Why do they all think I'm an Avenger? None of this makes any sense." Your head is spinning, and all you want is to wash the last 3 years of dirt and grime from your skin.

As you step into the shower, Friday continues to answer your questions, ultimately giving you the version of events that the Avengers all seem to believe.

You joined the team four years ago. Tony and Steve brought you back to the compound after you fought alongside them. Your mutation gives you enhanced senses, allowing you to predict the enemies moves. Despite your lack of true training, the two men were impressed by your skills and dedication.

After getting dressed, you finally bit the bullet and asked to hear the messages. Instantly, Bucky's shaky voice filled your ears.

"Y/N, we lost contact with you yesterday. I just, I needed to feel like I was talking to you." A shaky breath could be heard before he continued. "You promised me you'd come back. I, I can't lose you, doll. Stay strong. We're going to find you."

The next message began immediately. "It's been a week now without you. Steve says we're getting closer, but I know he's just trying to calm me down. I will find you, Y/N. That's my promise."

Tears began pouring down your face as you listened to his voice, sounding battered and broken due to your absence.

"Steve keeps telling me to rest. He says I won't be any help if I'm burnt out. But, I- I can't sleep knowing you're there. Not knowing what they're doing to you. I can't sleep because all I see is you, and it hurts. Doll, it hurts so much. I'm going to find you. I will because I can't lose you. Not like this. Not to them."

The messages continues playing, doing nothing but encouraging your tears.

"Two months. I'm so sorry, doll. It's been two months and we're not any closer. I hope you know we're trying. I'm trying. I won't rest until I have you back in my arms. I love you."

Your breath caught in your throat at those three words, he loves you? How? How can he love you if you didn't even meet until yesterday?

"We figured it out. We've got a location. I'm coming baby. I'm coming."

The last message ended with a beep, but you barely heard it. Your breathing was erratic, your heart rate skyrocketing as the anxiety took over your body.

He couldn't possibly love you. Not when he doesn't know the things you did. The people you killed.

"Enacting protocol 7, paging Mr. Barnes." The AI's voice went unheard by you, muffled by your choked sobs.

Not 30 seconds later, Bucky was rushing into your room.

"Y/N!" He ran to you, pulling you into his arms in a tight embrace. He whispered soothing words into your hair, slightly rocking you back and forth.

Somehow, he knew exactly how to calm you down. His warm breath on your neck, strong arms around your body, and the soothing rocking motion all worked wonders for you.

"It's okay. You're okay. You're home now. I've got you. You're safe."

His words brought fresh tears to your eyes, although your breathing calmed and anxiety lessened after a while.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered a few minutes after your body stopped shaking.

"I, I'm just so scared." You didn't know what to say. You wanted to come clean. To explain who you really were, but the fantasy described to you by the AI sounded like a much better life.

A life you wanted to believe in, but felt like you didn't deserve.

"Scared of what, doll? You can talk to me." He whispered, still rocking you back and forth, rubbing your back with his flesh hand.

Of me. You wanted to come clean, but it was terrifying. You couldn't go back to that prison.

"Of... Was I really only there for three months?" Your voice was shaky, confusion laced with fear.

Bucky's guilt at not finding you sooner multiplied tenfold as he took in your expression. You looked so innocent and afraid, his heart broke just thinking about what Hydra did to you.

"Doll, I'm so sorry I couldn't come for you sooner. I know three months must've felt a lot longer... I promise, I'll do everything I can to help you get through this. You're not alone." He held you closer, tucking your head close to his heart in a show of protectiveness.

"Can you just, stay with me tonight?" Your words were barely a whisper, afraid to test the strength of the delusion you found yourself in.

"Of course." His words were firm, but soothing to your ears. "I love you." You squeezed him tighter, resting your body against his as the two of you laid in bed.

permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman

[amor-immortalem]

Can I Stay Up Here With You Forever Ch.2

Warning: abuse apologizing, mention of past physical abuse, implied manipulation, abuse minimizing

Taglist: @mediocredetective

Previous

“Here you go Solomon,” Asmo says as they pass the phone to the sorcerer. “Arella says she wants to ask you something. I’ll be back.” And with that the Avatar of Lust took his leave, leaving their older brother with a look of confusion as Solomon moved away from where he literally had the second-born tied down so he couldn’t move. He turned his lapis gaze over to his younger brother who merely shrugged as he went back to chowing down on a bag of crisps he had raided from Purgatory Hall’s pantry.

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know anything,” Beel said with a mouthful of crisps. “I’m going to head home too though. Dinner’s starting soon. Do you want me to try to save you some? It’s Lucifer’s night to cook.”

“Nah... it’ll just go to waste. Lucifer’s still probably mad at me so I doubt he’ll let me inta the house for the rest of the night.” The Avatar of Greed chuckles sadly. “So don’t worry. I’ll see ya tomorrow!”

The Avatar of Gluttony nodded as he left and Mammon impatiently waited for Solomon to come back.

“I’d offer you something to eat or drink but it looks like you’re... a little tied up at the moment.” Simeon tried to break the tension in the room with the unhappy demon.

“Why did ya have ta go ‘n call Arella like that, huh, Simeon?” Mammon asks, eyebrows knit together in frustration. “I told y’all I was fine, my arm was just a bit busted was all. I woulda survived without her knowin’ ‘n now she’s gonna go off the deep end thinkin’ I need ta be saved or some shit like that when I can take care of myself.”

“She loves you, Mammon. All she wants is for you to be happy and safe. You know that.”

“All of ya are makin’ it sound like Lucifer just straight up broke my elbow for shits ‘n giggles when it was an accident. I’m the one who didn’t wait for him ta let go a me before I started pullin’ ta get away, so really it’s my own fault that it’s broken.”

“Yeah, but things like this seem to happen between you and Lucifer a lot- and I mean a lot a lot.”

“Yeah but... he loves me though. He only does things like this because he loves me. I’m his favorite and he just wants me to learn my lesson is all. If I wouldn’t screw up all the time this wouldn’t happen as often- o-or at all even. ‘Sides it ain’t like I’m the only one who ever gets punished. The rest of my brothers all get their punishments too when they screw up. It’s all fair.”

Simeon gave the demon a doubtful look. “You seem to be the only one who gets any physical punishment though...”

“Yeah, but that’s only cuz I’m a blockhead who just doesn’t learn his lesson. I mean the physical stuff only started within the last century- that's when my dear ol’ brother got fed up with wastin’ his breath. You’d think I’d learn by now huh?”

The angel tries to find the words to say what he’s thinking but he can’t, so he just goes about it in a different approach. No wonder Arella worries about him like this. His brother has him completely manipulated into thinking this is acceptable.

“You... you can’t seriously think that, right?” Simeon asks incredulously. “Mammon, this isn’t okay. Regardless of whether your brother actually loves you or not,

“He does,” Mammon interjects.

“He shouldn’t constantly be putting his hands on you for even the slightest of transgressions- especially if it’s due to something you can’t help, like your sin.”

“Of course, it is. C’mon, Simeon, who’re ya kidding? We’re demons! Our morals are different from those of the Celestial Realm or the Human Realm.... That’s just the way things are down here. Do ya gotta like it? No, but y’all gotta accept it.”

“Don’t you think you sound a little... how do I put this... brainwashed?”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Well... I just think maybe you’re so blinded by your love for your brothers that-”

“Hi! I’m back!” Asmo called as they lugged a heavy suitcase behind them. They plopped down on the couch. “Miss me?”

The pair just sort of regarded the strawberry blonde-haired demon as they sat next to their older brother.

“Goin’ somewhere, Asmo?” Mammon asks as he eyes the suitcase, “Wait a minute is that my suitcase?”

“Hm? Oh no, I’m not going anywhere. You are.”

“Huh? I’m not going anywh-”

“Well it was nice talking to you, Arella. I’ll untie him now so you can summon him. We’ll talk in a few weeks, yes?” Solomon promptly reentered the space, “Perfect- oh look Asmo’s back too. I’ll let you go then.” The call ended as Solomon undid the spell binding Mammon to the couch with a wave of his hand.

As Mammon stood, a portal opened up in front of him. “I’m not goin’ through that.”

“And why not?” the angel asks. “I thought you’d be delighted to have the opportunity to go stay with your human for two weeks.”

“Alone. Might I add.” Asmo smirks with a waggle of their brows.

“Shut up, Asmo!” The Avatar of Greed turned a shade of bright red, “Of course, I know we’d be alone! Who else would be there? But....”

“Are you scared Lucifer will be upset that you’re up there without his permission, Mammon?” Simeon asks.

“No! I ain’t scared of Lucifer! What gave you that idea, huh?!”

“You do realize you’re being summoned right? You don’t get much of a choice in that matter. Now, get going before you end up getting pulled through and hurt your arm again.” The sorcerer takes Mammon’s suitcase and tosses it through the portal, leaving the demon to squawk indignantly as he chased after it.

“You suck, Solomon!” Is all that could be heard from the other side of the portal as it started to close and the silver-haired human only rolled his eyes, chuckling amusedly.

“Have fun in the mortal realm, Mammon!”

------------------------------------------------------

The one thing Mammon hates about being summoned is how nearly every time he goes through a portal, he nearly slams into whoever it is that summoned him if they’re standing in his way which is exactly the situation he finds himself in with Arella right now- not a good look for his image, it's very ‘uncool’.

“Hey,” Arella smiles as she wraps her arms around him once they come to a stop.

“Don’t ‘hey’ me. I’m mad at ya.” The demon says with a deep scowl on his face.

“I’m sure you are. How’s your arm feeling? Does it still hurt?”

“I’m fine, Arella. Stop treating me like a kid.”

“Huh?” Arella asks, confused as she removes her arm from around him. “I’m... sorry?”

“Ya should be,” Mammon hums as he turns his back to her. “I told ya everything was fine. Ya didn’t hafta go ‘n do all this. I can take care of myself when it comes to my brothers so I don’t get why you think ya gotta get involved every time I get in a situation with one of ‘em.”

“I just thought... well I guess it doesn’t matter. You’re right.” She walked away headed to where the kitchen was to clean up the mess that had been left from the cup of tea she’d had before all of this.

“Huh? Whaddya mean by that?” The demon followed after her looking to continue their small spat.

“Exactly what it sounds like. You’re right. You can take care of yourself when it comes to your brothers and there really is no need for me to insert myself into the situation but I love you and I hate seeing it happen and not doing anything to defend you so... I’m sorry. If it offends you that much, I won’t do it again.” She says as she washes her cup and the other dishes she had left. “Do you want me to send you home after dinner?”

“I.... no- but not because I don’t want to go back and deal with Lucifer...” The white-haired demon takes a seat at the kitchen island resting his chin on his arms. “I only wanna stay cuz I missed ya...”

“I missed you too...” She rubbed his back as she leaned down to place a kiss on the top of his head. “I’m sorry you feel like I’m treating you like a kid... if you want to stay the whole time you can treat it... like a holiday of sorts.”

“Where are we anyway? I know ya said ya were sellin’ yer old house...but the air smells different. How far away did ya move? Are we still in England?”

“About that...” She looked away sheepishly, “I kind of told you a little white lie... I sold that house about a month or two ago. What I’ve been doing since then is house-hunting and all the things that go with buying a house in another country... We’re in Germany- Berlin, exactly.”

“You lied? Oh, you’re horrible.” The demon feigns a look of hurt as the human laughs. “But seriously, baby, why would ya move so far away?”

She shrugged. “Wanted a change. I can speak German so why not- it's not like I have any family to miss back in England, anyway.”

He nods at that. “So no one knows where we are?”

“Nope,”

“Not even my brothers?”

“Not even your brothers.” She smiled. “I told you: if we wanted to, we could disappear up here and no one would ever know.” She cupped his face in between her hands. “You don’t have to go back home if you don’t want to...”

“I don’t have to decide right now, do I? You won’t leave if I want to go home, right?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t ask you to choose between me or the Devildom- there's a lot to give up down there. You can think about it while we’re up here for the next two or three weeks and if you want to go home after then, then I will still be with you, okay? I just want to give you options.”

He nodded as he moved to wrap his arms around her in a tight hug. “Thanks, Doll.”

“Anytime, Baby.” She hummed.

------------------------------------------------------

Next

Find more on my masterlist

[saanphoenix]

“Why do so many old-school FFVII fans think that Cloud took Zack’s memories?”

Alright, so first things first. We gotta start from the beginning. We gotta start with Jenova.

Jenova is the name given to the alien entity known as the Calamity. “Heaven’s dark harbinger.” This being, assumed to be female because of the body she was in at the Crater, was basically godlike in her natural abilities. Historically, she was able to shapeshift. She was telepathic. She had a nigh indomitable will. And she used her abilities to infect the race of human(oid)s that happened upon her crash site--the Cetra.

Now, Ifalna, within the English translation of the OG, states that Jenova turned the Cetra into monsters, nearly wiping them all out, and that the wee few that remained basically had to be sacrificed to seal Jenova away before she could do anymore damage to all life on the planet. The notes Sephiroth finds within the Shinra Mansion seem to corroborate this version of events, as he tells Zack that the Cetra chose to fight the Calamity while the other humans “hid”, thus being spared Jenova’s shenanigans, allowing them to become the dominant race on the planet, but ultimately being cowards unworthy to be the shepherds of any star, to quote Emet-Selch from FFXIV. Stay with me now.

We also know that the notes Sephiroth reads within the Shinra Mansion do not, in any way, call Jenova the Calamity. They still refer to her as a Cetra. Meaning that those notes are outdated, before the discovery of a living Cetra, a Cetra who is 2000 years removed from her own people’s history. Right? So.

(’Ah, but what about Genesis point-blank telling Sephiroth the truth? He knew what was up!’ Yes, because Hollander and Hojo found out from Gast’s recordings, and Ifalna herself, what Jenova actually was, and then Hollander told Genesis, who then said some stupid ass shit to trigger Sephiroth into looking into the wrong information, and now Nibelheim is not Nibelheim anymore and Cloud is missing one more family member than he was when he joined Shinra. Also, fuck Genesis. Anyway.)

HOJO, yeah? Hojo, in two separate novels written by Nojima himself, states to Aerith and Tseng separately that Jenova 1) will inevitably infect all life on the planet with her “cells” because of the very nature of the Lifestream and 2) turned the Cetra against each other via subtle manipulation and illusions of their loved ones, dead or alive, conceived from their own memories. She didn’t show up looking like the Eldritch horror with the eyeball nipple, she showed up looking like a run-of-the-mill Cetra. And she would further disguise herself as people a Cetra knew in order to gain their trust. And then, after she had gained that trust, she would say shit like, “Hey. Your friend over there hates you,” or, “Hey. Your friend over there wants to kill you.” And thus the Cetra, at the very least morally but probably also physically, became monsters and tore themselves apart.

You ever wonder why everything the Cetra had was booby-trapped and hidden behind riddles and self-sacrificial bullshit like their Temple? My guess is because Jenova made it so they couldn’t trust anyone, even themselves.

“Why did I read all that? What does that have to do with Cloud voring Zack’s memories?”

Because we gotta understand the mechanics of this bitch first so that we know what to look out for.

Now, we have an alien in stasis--presumed dead but definitely not--and a buncha scientists who really want a coveted spot sucking President Shinra’s dick as head of the Science Dept. who all think that taking the genetic material of a Cetra and splicing it into a modern-day human’s DNA will give them a Geiger counter to the Promised Land. Which they want to use as fuel because only some of them really understand what mako is and the others are just fucking stupid. Anyway, my guess is that they archeology their way to Jenova’s still-kinda-alive corpse and do some DNA testing and go, “Ah! We’ve found a Cetra. It has to be one! She’s by the crater, after all, and that’s where some of them were nuked by a Meteor! :) We’re geniuses!” And Jenova, in the Lifestream, went, “GOTCHA, BITCH!”

And through the power of dino DNA, out pops a lot of nonviable lifeforms, some monsters, and, eventually, a relatively normal kid with a flare for the dramatic who will become wholly obsessed with apples and very boring literature that he will insist on repeating every five goddamn seconds. As he was no Geiger counter to the Promised Land, out pops another relatively normal kid who will grow up to have dreams, and honor, and steal food from his neighbors because he was so damn honorable that he just could not ask for a handout.

With Hollander and Gillian’s experiments not producing anything of note other than children that need love and support, Hojo and Lucrecia decide to take a slightly different sample of Jenova’s cells and just start sticking them everywhere. They’re in Lucrecia. They’re in Lucrecia’s fetus. And...something strange starts to happen.

Lucrecia starts to feel the effects of Jenova. Lucrecia’s mind and body start to kind of deteriorate. Not the way that Genesis’ and Angeal’s do later on, but she is plagued by shit like severe depression and fatigue. She falls out on the floor multiple times. Her bodyguard is a little late on pulling the trigger of the gun aimed at her husband and, instead of doing anything productive about her husband proving he’s an amoral murderous fuckhead, she just decides to play doll with her kinda undead bodyguard, get even sicker, and then, finally, pops out a very strange looking baby. In fact, he looks a little alien.

“No, seriously, what does this have to do with anything?”

Genetics. How Jenova cells work. Whatever clump of cells they injected into Lucrecia, clearly different from those used in Project G, seemed to focus more on the mental fuckery aspect of Jenova than the physical, shapeshifting aspect of Jenova. I would also argue that one of the reasons Lucrecia was so adversely affected by the cells and Gillian was not is their mental well-being. Gillian, even when we meet her, seems very upbeat and doing pretty okay despite her husband having died from exhaustion a coupla years back. Lucrecia was depressed and very subservient even before she married Hojo. Losing her mentor--Vincent’s father--probably exacerbated that. And, later in Advent Children, that sort of mentality--hopelessness and despair--is what Sephiroth’s Geostigma feeds off of. That and thoughts of death/dying. But that is more speculation than anything.

So, Sephiroth’s cells are different from Genesis’ and Angeal’s, and they were all three bred differently, but they’re all kinda chimeras of Jenova’s. And once Genesis learns about his origins, it’s like the lightbulb goes off. This guy’s creating clones by infecting his 2nd and 3rd Class SOLDIERs with his own cells. And when he does that, their physical appearance becomes his own. As does their will. Whatever Genesis wants, the clones also want. And then he just grows a wing for shits and giggles. Once he tells his BFF Angeal the sitch, behold! He’s got monster clones--maybe because he realizes how fucked up overwriting a human being with yourself is--and wings, too. ...Why?

The power to do all of this shit was always there. It was genetically always there. They just had to be made aware of it, to have the puzzle piece put into place. When Sephiroth dies, that puzzle piece is put into place. And then he starts fuckin’ with shit. And turns into monstrous angels. And then dies again. And then comes back and finally grows himself his own wing. He did it, fellas. He’s a big boy now.

But we’re not here to talk about Sephiroth--ignore how much I talked about Sephiroth and his mommies previously--we’re here to talk about ZACK and CLOUD.

“What’s up with Zack and Cloud?”

First, what we must realize is that even though Hojo says that both Zack and Cloud are failed clones because they 1) didn’t take on any physical characteristics of Sephiroth, 2) didn’t seem controlled by Jenova (or Sephiroth) and, 3) didn’t exhibit the other signs of a Reunion impulse like the other clones in Nibelheim that does not mean that Sephiroth’s cells, Jenova’s cells, are not working on them.

As we’ve observed in other 1sts, abilities do not always manifest immediately or even noticeably. Clearly, Sephiroth’s physical appearance is a bit of a hint, but Genesis and Angeal look pretty damn normal and, if it weren’t for their mako injections, they probably wouldn’t be showing that much of an increase in physical capabilities. Theoretically. Maybe 10-year-old Angeal had biceps the size of a man’s head. I mean. Pff.

Zack’s tolerance to Jenova was strong due to his previous exposure in the SOLDIER program. Cloud’s mind broke pretty early on. Neither of these results matter to the fact that they both now have Sephiroth’s cells within them--just as Genesis’ and Angeal’s clones had theirs--and that their very wills are now going to be affected by Sephiroth’s. But they are also going to be a little bit like him in terms of power.

Zack’s hair, when ingested by a Genesis clone, a clone of a Type-G SOLDIER, transforms that clone into a monster. Zack doesn’t even have to do anything. The Jenova/Sephiroth cells within his body can just Do That, cause that change in another life form, of their own accord. I’m honestly shocked that, whenever they gave Zack these S-cells, HE didn’t turn into a monster. But that’s neither here nor there. I wanna talk about Cloud.

Cloud has mako poisoning, which the Remake describes as his spirit/soul being stuck between his body and the Lifestream. Weird. Anyway, he’s not fully aware of his surroundings at all times, and he clearly can’t control his body that much. He somehow has the ability to kinda get his feet shuffling, and I’m going to go on a limb and say he can chew whatever food Zack gives him, but most of the time, he’s a puppet with cut strings.

But he is also still recovering from a mind break caused by Jenova cells. The same cells that are just chilling in his body, like they are in Zack’s. And all the months Zack is dragging his ass across a continent, an ocean, and another continent, they and Cloud are listening to whatever the fuck Zack is saying. Cloud is also constantly in physical contact with Zack.

In The Kids Are Alright: A Turks Side Story, Kadaj has the power to not only read surface thoughts and memories just by being near someone, but he can also read deeper ones by making physical contact with someone. Because Jenova. And Sephiroth, whose cells Cloud and Zack have, in the OG demonstrates that he, too, can glean thoughts and memories from others. Because Jenova.

If this power is a genetic trait, as it is with Genesis and Angeal, then, sitting pretty underneath their skin, Zack and Cloud have this ability. Dormant. Snoozing. Kinda like the 1st Class Trio’s wings.

But Zack has a high tolerance and a high ignorance to Jenova and just what he might be capable of. Cloud’s mind is floating in and out at best. He’s not in control of himself. And when you have a situation like that, it is very, very easy to come to the conclusion that Cloud’s Jenova cells are passively absorbing the memories of Zack’s time in Nibelheim. That they are knitting these memories together with what little remain in Cloud’s head. That when Tifa comes across Cloud at the train station and calls him by name and remembers who he is that Cloud’s Jenova cells latch onto those memories in Tifa--as Sephiroth tells them they did--and they knit those memories with Zack’s and Cloud’s and the end result is the man we get at the beginning of the OG.

Because Cloud has visual memory of shit he never saw. It’s not just a visual medium telling a visual story. You wanna know how I know that for a fact? Because, in the Remake, Cloud remembers Sephiroth walking up to Jenova’s tank in the reactor from Sephiroth’s perspective. He is looking through Sephiroth’s eyes, through his memory, up at “Mother.” In that moment in the Remake, Cloud is Sephiroth. He’s not Cloud anymore.

Cloud sees Sephiroth delivering the speech of being an Ancient. Cloud wasn’t there. Cloud didn’t see that. Zack did. That is Zack’s memory.

The man writing the Remake is the same man who’s been at the head of MOST FFVII writing. He was on the OG, he wrote Advent Children, he wrote the novels, he wrote Crisis Core, he’s writing the Remake. He knows what these cells can do because he’s crafted this world-building for decades.

Cloud didn’t take all of Zack’s memories. He didn’t need to. Kadaj, in the novel, doesn’t glean everything from someone right off the bat. Because he doesn’t need to. Only when he needs to learn something else does he go digging. The same is probably true for what Cloud’s cells most likely did to be able to know what he knows. Hell! Kadaj gets punched in the novel and he ACCIDENTALLY picks up the emotions and memories of the guy who punched him. He didn’t want ‘em but he got ‘em!”

There is evidence within the OG, and even more within the Compilation, that lend weight to the theory that Cloud unintentionally read Zack’s mind when it came to the events of Nibelheim.

For years, people have wondered, “How the hell does Cloud know that if he wasn’t there?” For years, people have wondered, “How can he use the Buster Sword if he was just a little grunt that used a gun all the time?” The logical answer is, “Because of his Jenova cells. They can just do that shit.”

[drwcn]

#9 【Carbon in the Steel】

cql au: everyone is an orphan except wwx; dark!twin jades

The Brothers Lan 

There was once a little house, on the outskirts of a farming village beyond the tiered rice fields south of Meishan, far, far away from Cloud Recesses. Both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji remembered that house. It was the house Father had built for Mother, and it was there that they were born. 

It sat at the base of a hill where many tall bamboo trees grew, and in the garden, there had been gentians, indigo and violet, that bloomed beautifully every summer. 

Lan Xichen would dream sometimes of that house and of the wonderful days in those early years. 

Father, look! 

Excellent form, A-Huan. Very good. Much improved. Now, remember to keep your balance on your front… 

These days he could no longer recall Father’s face. His voice though, Lan Xichen still remembered as clear as a bell. On the other hand, his brother Wangji did not remember much of Father at all; instead, it was Mother’s smile that he could never forget. 

Mother, can A-Zhan and I stay with you and Father tonight? 

P’ease, Mo’her. 

Lan Xichen remembered hugging his baby brother like a doll and strategically weakening his parents’ resolve using his baby pout and big puppy eyes. A-Zhan was always a trooper, so cooperative, so excellent at looking like a perfect toddler.  Stoic though. So stoic for a baby. What a weird kid. 

We had a bad dream. 

Bad dweam.  

Those were obviously lies. They never had bad dreams then; those would come much later, when their reality became worse than any nightmare they could ever imagine.

Jiujiu never needed to tell them that Mother and Father were dead, or what death was. They’d seen plenty of creatures die: the village’s cattle they butchered for the new year, the spinster's kittens that didn’t survive the winter, and the pheasants they caught and roasted for A-Zhan’s birthday. 

Father had been a lifelong vegetarian, so eating meat didn’t agree with his stomach, but he never enforced such rules on his sons. In fact Father didn’t enforce any rules on his sons, except to show kindness where they could and to be true to their hearts.  

Father probably didn’t anticipate just how difficult it was to be kind when the world had been so wholly unkind. Nor did he anticipate that he would die in such a violent and sudden manner without even so much as a goodbye.

I don’t remember what were the last words Father said to me. Wangji would confess to Xichen one day. I don’t even remember what Father looked like. 

They were by the marsh catching lobsters with jiujiu when it happened. Mother suddenly appeared and spoke words that were foreign and frightening - Gusu Lan, cultivators, siege, pursuit, escape. Go. Now. She didn’t hug them or kiss them. Lan Xichen remembered Wangji reaching up towards her to be picked up and the confusion and heartbreak in his eyes when she pushed him back into jiujiu’s waiting arms.   

A-niang...

At a certain point, jiujiu must’ve done something to them, because neither Wangji nor himself remember any part of their journey out of that village. When they woke up, they were somewhere high up and deep in the mountains. His little brother had looked at him and he had stared back and they both knew then that their parents were dead. Curled in their jiujiu’s arms, they cried themselves into another fitful sleep, and all the while, jiujiu didn’t wake up once, too exhausted by the endless days of travel. 

To them, jiujiu - like all adults - was old, but it was not until they grew up that they realized that Zhao Zhuliu at the time of their parents’ demise had been no more than twenty years old, barely more than a boy himself.  

~

Life with jiujiu was quiet, but after some time, they were able to find a sliver of happiness. 

Zhao Zhuliu was a quiet man, always had been, and that didn’t change just because he now had two young children on his hands. But he loved them, his sister’s only blood left on this earth; by god, he loved them beyond reason. 

Jiujiu was not a talker, but he was never distant, and though he was strict in his training of their cultivation and their swordsmanship, he was never harsh. So yes, life was quiet, but at least for a while there was a roof over their heads and food in their belly, and they never had to wonder where they would be tomorrow…

When jiujiu failed to return from his night-hunt, Lan Xichen knew that something had gone terribly wrong. 

Lan Xichen was the older one; he was thirteen. Practically an adult, he told himself. If jiujiu never came back, then he was just going to have to take care of Wangji. 

Whatever it takes. 

His brother was not a needy child, but when he turned eleven, he seemed to have found his appetite and ate everything Xichen could get his hands on. Fishing was the easiest and hunting a big game lasted them a while if he could preserve it just right, but even if he collected berries in the mountains and wild herbs in the forest, he still needed grains, still needed new clothes for the winter, and still needed oil to light a lamp at night so Wangji could continue to practice his calligraphy. 

He did try; you must know. Lan Xichen did try to do things the right way, but there was only so much money he could earn by book-keeping at a shop, or running errands for merchants, or even waiting tables at an inn. He was a child, and desperate, and nobody would pay him a dime if they could get away with a nickel. 

It didn’t take long for Xichen to learn that the fastest way of earning money was often the most unsavoury and that he wasn’t above reaching for those means. There were no lengths Lan Xichen wouldn’t go to keep his brother safe and happy, no asset within his arsenal of skills and attributes that he wouldn’t hone and weaponize to make himself stronger. He got good at stealing, got great at cheating, and grew accustomed  to killing. Every so often...if there were other offers available, well...Wangji would never need to know. 

Morals do not matter if Wangji went hungry. I can’t let Wangji go hungry.

And, once a year, Lan Xichen would buy a box of osmanthus pastry, like the kind Mother used to make for them - flakey and fragrant, rich but not overwhelming - and he and Wangji would sit together under the stars and finish the box all in one go. 

“Happy birthday, didi.” 

Chewing slowly on the osmanthus pastry, Wangji would smile, and it would all be worth it. 

“Thank you, xiongzhang.” 

~

Then, three years after jiujiu was taken, a startling news broke out over the lands. 

After years of internal strife, the dirty politics of Lanling Jin finally fractured the once glorious reigning sect. Jin Guangshan’s many children and their scheming “little mothers” formed factions and allied themselves with subsidiary sects all vying for control over Lanling’s seat of power. (小娘 xiao’niang = little mother, what one calls one’s mother if one’s mother is not the legal wife. The “real” mother of any children would always be the legal wife, while their birth mothers are ‘little mothers’.)

The details of Jin Guangshan’s demise was not entirely clear, but eventually it was his third son Jin Zitao who became the new Sect Master Jin. Being only eleven years old, it was clear to anyone who had eyes that he was a puppet, completely controlled by the whims of his regent mother, Jin Guangshan’s once favourite concubine, and the ancient respected Qin family who had promised their daughter Qin Su to be his bride once they both come of age. 

People had praised Qin Su’s stepmother, Sect Master Qin’s second wife, for securing such an advantageous marriage for a daughter not even of her own blood, stating that with the Dowager Madame Jin’s clever mind and Sect Master Qin’s seniority and experience, surely the murky pond of Lanling would become peaceful once again. 

The bigger question now was with three of the five major sects being led by minors - Qishan’s 14 year-old Wen Yuefan, Yunmeng’s 13 year-old Jiang Wanyin, and Lanling’s 11 year-old Jin Zitao - who then would become the next Chief Cultivator. Qinghe Nie seemed the most obvious choice at first glance, for they were the fiercest warriors, but given Sect Master Nie Heqiu’s most recent close encounter with yet another qi deviation, it seemed perhaps the real day-to-day leadership role was fulfilled by his first son Nie Mingjue. At seventeen years of age, he was certainly older than his contemporaries, but still a far cry from what was required to be His Excellency.  (温越凡 Wen Yuefan = Wen Qing’s courtesy name) 

Naturally, all eyes were drawn then towards Cloud Recesses, whose previous chance at obtaining the seat of Chief Cultivator had been dashed when its sect master at that time, Qingheng-jun, mysteriously vanished more than a decade ago. Now it seemed that Gusu Lan’s fortune was about to change yet again, when what once should have gone to Lan Cenrong now fell to his younger brother Lan Qiren. 

News of his rise to power had spread far and wide, until every man, woman, and child knew his name. Until Lan Xichen heard from a gossiping bar-keep at a tavern. Until Lan Wangji heard from the children playing on the street. 

One morning Lan Xichen returned to their temporary home to see Wangji sitting in front of the breakfast he’d prepared (when did he learn to cook???) and a purse on the table filled with silver coins and small gold nuggets.

“Wangji...where did you -” 

“I don’t want you to go out at night again, xiongzhang,” said Lan Wangji bluntly. 

Taken aback by Wangji’s tone and his implications, Xichen quickly gathered his wits and tried to maintain control of the conversation. “That doesn’t answer my question; where did you get the money?” 

“I also went out last night, after you assumed I fell asleep and left.”  

Xichen’s blood went cold. “You...went out? Out? In the middle of the night?! To do what?!” 

Lan Wangji’s stoicism did not waver. “What one usually does to get paid at night. What you’ve been doing for years.” 

In three long strides, Lan Xichen strode up to his little brother - his baby brother - and yanked him up by the collar. Grabbing his arms with both hands, he forced Wangji to look him in the eye as he exclaimed in a mad panic, “You didn’t! Tell me you didn’t!!” 

God, Wangji, what have you done, what have you done - how could I let this happen - I should’ve done better - 

Wangji did not blink, but after a long terrible silence, he said, “No. I didn’t. I just followed you. I saw.” 

“You saw…” 

There had been a man who eyed him with interest. Lan Xichen wasn’t looking for business - hadn’t been looking for months - but winter was coming and Wangji was growing so much he would need several new sets of robes. Xichen hadn’t been working as many hours as he’d been previously. He needed to train, to cultivate - they both did - so that one day they could do what needed to be done. The core melting technique was not to be trifled with lightly, jiujiu had warned them. They needed time to practice, to perfect it, time that couldn’t be used to earn income. 

While yes he could steal and yes he could kill, Lan Xichen realized early on that those two options often caught the attention of local authorities or worse the local cultivation sect, especially if his activities were too frequent or too conspicuous. Sometimes it was just easier… 

“The money, then?” 

“Don’t you recognize the purse?” 

Xichen turned around. He did. He did recognize that silk embroidered draw-string purse. It belonged to the man from last night. He had taken money out of it this morning to pay Xichen for his time.  

And when they parted ways, Xichen had gone to a public bath house to get rid of any incriminating evidence on his body before going home to his brother. That was his routine... had been his routine for years… 

“I shoved his body down a well. That should buy us enough time to get out of this town. You weren’t planning for us to stay that long anyway right?” 

“Wangji…Wangji -” Lan Xichen turned away. He couldn’t face his brother, who now knew what he knew. 

“Xiongzhang, don’t do this for me anymore.” Lan Wangji’s hand found his own, squeezing it tightly. 

“It’s - it’s really not a big deal.” Lan Xichen tried to laugh it off. “I don’t do it that often. Really - I am your older brother, it is my duty to -” 

“No. No more. From now on, if you go out, I go out. I’m old enough -” 

“You’re thirteen, a child!” 

“So were you.” 

Lan Xichen closed his eyes. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“I know I’m done waiting.” 

Lan Wangji was talking, of course, about their vengeance. It was what they spoke of on most nights when they couldn’t sleep. For mother and father and jiujiu, they swore they would not rest until they razed Cloud Recesses to the ground and burned the core out of every last one of their disciples before slitting their throats.  

Wangji came around to face him again and stared him down with his brows furrowed tightly above bright determined eyes. “It’s not fair. The Chief Cultivator was supposed to be Father! The heir of Gusu Lan is supposed to be you! Instead - instead...”

Tears welled up in his little brother’s eyes. “They hurt you, ge, I saw. I saw.” 

Choking with shame, anger and a pain he couldn’t describe, Lan Xichen pulled Lan Wangji into a crushing hug. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry Wangji. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. I’m...” Words failed. As Lan Wangji cried into his chest, Lan Xichen looked up to their leaky roof and their bare, striped walls, and wondered what the ethereal Cloud Recesses would look like. All that should have been theirs, should’ve been his, belonged to someone else. 

Lan Qiren is Chief Cultivator now. He’s still holding jiujiu captive. He needs to die. The people who killed Father and Mother; they all need to die. 

“You’re right, Wangji, you’re right. No more.”

“So you won’t leave at night anymore?” 

“I won’t. The world has taken everything from us, I think it’s time we take what we are owed. Once we are strong, we will save jiujiu and avenge A-die and A-niang.” 

“And if people try to stop us?” 

“Then we will destroy them and anyone else that gets in our way.” 

[lilbabycee]

Need some more miles embarassing / outing his parents content that shit is too funny!

appreciative // steve rogers

↳ pairing: steve rogers x reader

READ ALL GOOD

this must be done:

you and steve’s son, miles, has a never-ending supply of energy and with that comes a never-ending supply of questions

you’re so proud because he is the smartest little baby you’ve ever met and his vocabulary and articulation is getting pretty advanced as he gets older

so you’re not surprised when you’re curled up on the couch in your living room, a book in your hand and blanket draped over your legs, and your son comes padding into the room

he parks himself in your lap and sticks his thumb in his mouth, sucking while he just blinks at you

his baby blues drill into your forehead as his long eyelashes brush against his skin

absent-mindedly, you tug at his wrist so that his thumb pops out of his mouth and sigh, closing your book and putting it on the coffee table after bookmarking your page 

the moment your book is out of your hands, miles grins, moving further into your body and lays his head on your chest, comforted by the softness of it that he can’t get from his father

“mama,” he starts, little fingers playing with the bracelet on your wrist. you note that he looks a little nervous but you want him to tell you himself

you rest your chin on the top of his head while you comb your fingers through his thick hair

“yes, baby.”

“you know how my- my birthday is tomorrow?”

“yes, i do know how your birthday is tomorrow. how old are you gonna be, miles? show me.”

he proudly holds up four fingers and you blow a raspberry into his cheek which makes him giggle

“that’s right, honey. you’re gonna be four, which means you’ll be a big boy-”

miles gives you a deadpan look and you stifle a laugh when he crosses his arms and tells you for the millionth time: “mama, i’m already a big boy.”

“mmhm,” you chuckle. “are you excited for your party?”

he nods but twists his lips to the side, raising his hand to stick his thumb back in his mouth but you stop him halfway

“what’s going on, bud?”

“i- i- i wanna- i wanna,” he huffs sweetly, stopping to think about what he wants to say before opening his mouth again, “i’m scared.”

this shocks you - your son is quite literally fearless. he isn’t scared of what most kids his age (and adults) are terrified of: the dark, clowns, monsters under his bed - he’s braved it all with no qualms at all

“what’re you so scared of, baby?” your mind goes to a thousand different terrifying scenarios and your voice immediately bleeds concern like an open wound. even miles can sense it - you can tell because he leans back and his eyes dart between yours as he places a comforting hand on your arm

(you almost laugh because who’s supposed to be the parent here?)

“s’not that bad,” he goes back to fidgeting, averting his gaze from yours. “i just- i’m scared ‘cause- ‘cause if i don’t like my present, what do i do?”

your heart stops trying to beat out of your chest and instead a huge smile spreads across your face

“oh my god, you scared me, honey - is that all, miles?” 

he still refuses to meet your eyes but he nods

your laugh is relieved as you run a hand up and down your son’s arm

“if you don’t like the present, bud, you just smile, say thank you and move on. they don’t have to know you don’t like it.”

your heart falls again when your son finally looks back up at you, eyes wet and bottom lip trembling as he attempts to hold back tears

“but that’s lying! i don’t wanna lie, mama!”

jesus, this boy is more like his dad than you ever realized

but your heart is threatening to burst because it’s so full with all of the love that you have for your compassionate almost four year old

“oh, angel,” you coo and he buries his face in your breasts, fisting your shirt as sobs shake his body

rubbing his back, you try to think of a viable alternative for him: “shh, shh, relax, relax. would it make you feel better if i just tell everyone not to bring presents-”

“no!” he exclaims, looking up at you desperately. “i want presents! i just- mama, i don’t wanna be mean.”

you only realize how long his hair is getting when you brush it out of his eyes: “sweetheart, they won’t mind if you don’t like it. as long as they know you’re grateful and appreciative in the end, hmm?”

“app- appre- appreciate-? mama, i don’t know that word.”

you smile while helping him sound it out

“you know what appreciate means.” he nods. “appreciative is the same word, just as an adjective. it means the same thing as grateful.”

“so i tell them when i don’t like my present but i have to be appre- i have to appreciate it.”

“well, yeah, but maybe don’t tell them-”

“okay, mama!” he kisses your cheek before hopping off of your lap and running out of the room with a “thank you!”

the sun shines down on miles’ outdoor birthday party. miles - who has invited all of his friends from pre-k and all of the avengers - is showered with affection and compliments all day, spending plenty of time hanging out with his favorite uncle bucky 

miles is having so much fun that he almost forgets about presents altogether, but tony keeps urging you and steve to open them now because he wants to see miles’ face when he opens his gift

(it was a starkpad that you definitely yelled at tony about later because he’s four and you already have a headache just thinking about how much time you’re gonna spend prying it away from him)

so you’ve formed a circle, you and steve flanking miles on either side as he tears open the paper to a reveal a multitude of presents

and thankfully, the people in attendance all know your son fairly well so he’s loved every single gift he’s opened

“love you peter! love you shuri!” miles stands up and throws himself into the two teenagers’ legs when he sees that they’re taking him to disneyland and your heart warms at the way all of their eyes light up

but trouble ensues when wanda hands him his present and he rips it open to reveal... a train set?

miles quietens and although nobody else really notices, too busy chatting away, you observe the change in his demeanor because it’s obvious that he doesn’t like it. he once said to steve verbatim: “daddy, i don’t like trains. trains are stupid” to which steve laughed and subsequently told him off for 

(”stupid is not a nice word, miles. would you like it if someone called you stupid?”

“...no i wouldn’t, daddy.”)

“what do you think, miles?” wanda probes, an excited smile on her face and there’s a pause where you silently pray that miles won’t say anything-

“mama said i should tell the truth so... i don’t like it, auntie wanda. but mama also said i should be ‘preciative, so thank you!”

and you’ve never wanted to the floor to swallow you as much as you have in this moment

people quieten while miles puts the train set aside, stands up and heads over to his auntie wanda

wanda, who looks to be absolutely crushed, furrows her brow in confusion and looks at you

you casually look anywhere but her, feeling your face heat up and instead choose to busy yourself with gathering the wrapping paper into one pile 

you hear snickers come from behind you and when you look over your shoulder, steve is red in the face with trying to hold back his laughter, as is bucky, but sam, rhodey and tony are actually just full-on cackling at your discomfort

a fierce scowl you send their way makes them shut up... just for a minute, though

you chance a glance at wanda and feel a sense of relief when you see miles trying to cheer her up, arms wound around her neck while he presses a huge kiss on her cheek with a loud “mwah!”

(she’s still staring at you but all you can do is mouth a regretful “sorry!”)

luckily, that was the last present and you take this opportunity get as far away as possible from this entire situation

heading into the kitchen to throw the paper away, you feel a strong body behind yours and when thick arms wind around your waist, you know that it’s your husband. you turn in his arms to face him and scowl at the mirth in his eyes

“baby,” he wheezes, still chuckling, “wanda’s pretty upset. what did you tell him?”

“oh my god,” you bury your face in your hands because this is so embarrassing and you feel awful. “i- steve, he literally came to me yesterday because he was so scared that he wasn’t going to like his gifts.”

“why didn’t you tell him to just not say anything... or lie?” steve’s laughter intensifies and it’s hard to refrain from grinning youself

“i did! and then he burst into tears at the mere thought of it and i didn’t know what to do! so i told him that if he was just honest and appreciative, then everything would be fine and nobody would think he was being rude-”

steve cuts you off with a roar of laughter, tears spilling from his eyes as his head falls onto your shoulder

“why are you laughing?! this is your fault! he did not get that moral compass from me.”

steve only laughs harder

“shut up, stop! it’s not funny, babe, people are gonna think i’m a terrible mom.”

“doll, no one thinks you’re a terrible mom,” steve immediately sobers up and looks you straight in the eyes. “people were just telling me how good it is that you’re teachin’ him to be honest.”

“stop lying.”

“i’m serious!” he holds his hands up. “on my way in here, people kept stopping me and telling me that he’s such an honest, polite little boy. he could’ve thrown a fit like a lot of other kids would if they didn’t like what they got for their birthday - but he didn’t. and that’s because you’re a great mom.”

you smile bashfully and you hook your fingers in his belt loops, pulling him towards you. you lean in to capture his lips between yours, grateful that he’s provided you with some reassurance, and he tightens the grip of his hands on your waist, running his tongue along the seam of your lips as he deepens the kiss

“daddy, mama- ew! gross!” 

miles runs in but stops short, covering his eyes dramatically when he sees his father with his tongue down your throat

steve pulls away from you with a fond smile on his face as you sigh, forehead resting on steve’s shoulder

“what’s up, buddy?”

miles runs to his father and raises his arms, making steve lift him up and sit him on the countertop

“i ‘pologized to auntie wanda,” he tells you

“oh yeah?”

“yeah,” he swings his legs back and forth, looking between you and steve, “i was being a meanie. but she said it was fine and then she said she’s gonna take the trains back to the store.”

“that’s great, miles, i’m so proud of you,” steve hugs him and kisses him on the cheek which makes miles beam, proudly showing off the gap between his two front teeth. “but you weren’t being mean. sometimes there’s just such a thing as being too honest, y’know?”

miles nods, “i guess so, daddy. i miss you, can you guys come back outside?”

“yes we can, sweetheart,” you run a hand through his hair. and before steve can even bring him back down, your son jumps off of the counter (”oh my god!” you squeal because this boy is going to give you a heart attack) and sprints out of the room

on his way out, you grab the back of steve’s neck to pull his lips back to yours but are interrupted again by a very insistent voice

“and no more kissing!”

“bud, who are you talking to?” 

that’s bucky’s voice

“uncle ‘ucky, mama and daddy are kissing! at my birthday party!”

bucky gasps: “no! ew!”

“i know!” 

i am crying goodbye

[roses-ruby]

BTS as types of Yandere

Warning: Yandere themes, Abusive relationships, Psychological manipulation, Selfharm, Submission, BDSM mention

The Gentleman.

Seokjin is the perfect man.

Sure, he acts goofy but he’s also handsome and polite. He jokes around with you, he cooks for you, he doesn’t even befriend other women and he’s even a big romantic at heart. Your friends want him and your parents adore him - you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend! So, in return, when he kindly asks you not to talk to other men or not to go out too much, it’s only natural that you listen. You taunt him about his slightly conservative and traditionalist nature. But what kind of a man who was raised with high standards and morals wouldn’t have one? When he tells you not to wear something in public - you don’t fucking wear it. When he tells you you’re going to be a stay at home mom - then that’s the end of the fucking discussion. And if you disobey him, then you deserve to be verbally berated until you change your mind. People call it abuse, but he calls it love. Trust him, he only has your best interest at heart. It’s the only way you’ll learn to obey your man and gain value as a female.

It’s the only way you’ll become his perfect woman.

Lowkey.

You never expected a grown man to be so whiny, especially not one who seemed so intimidating initially. “You were gone too long.” - “Why do you have to leave so often?” - “Who were you with?” - Holy shit, the way he was bombarding you with questions made you feel like you just came back from committing a statewide murder spree, even though you were only gone grocery shopping for approximately thirty minutes. But it’s fine, your husband was harmless. It was definitely strange being married to a rapper. You heard most of their true feelings and inner thoughts only came out when they wrote or performed. So it did worry you when he wrote a song about binding you in a cage and keeping you chained like his little pet. But you passed it off as kinks or some shit. And it definitely worried you when he freestyled about torturing and killing your guy best friend in graphic detail on stage, which ultimately led to said friend cutting off all contact with you. But you passed it off as adrenaline-filled, in-the-moment jealousy. Sure, Yoongi was either testy or silent for the majority of your relationship - but that didn’t mean the “real him” was a temperamental and obsessive psychopath.

...did it?

My way or the highway.

Hoseok made his standards clear for you since day one. This relationship will go by his terms, and only his terms. Which meant he got to go out whenever he wanted, yet you never did. He got to touch you when he felt like it, yet you had to ask permission. He got to have female friends, yet you didn’t get to have any - of any gender. You’ll understand one day, he tells you, but you think years will pass before that time arrives, because the truth was you didn’t and might never truly understand him. It terrified you how Hoseok, the friendliest, most carefree man you’ve ever met, can turn into someone so menacing. Someone who threatens your well-being when even the slightest part of his rule is broken. A section of him was detached, while the other section was a pure freak. All of his punishments were sexual, from bondage to torture. Sometimes you think he punished you on purpose just so he could teach you your place. You’re not sure if he had an addiction to total domination or if he just craved mummification and impact play.

All you know is that he had certain habits, and they all happen to revolve around you.

Daddy.

You roll up the door to your room.

Namjoon knew everything. At least that’s what it seems like. He was the smartest guy in your city - actually no - the smartest guy in your whole country. No other man could ever compete with the intellect and raw talent he possessed. You greatly admired him - which he also knew, of course. The one thing he understood the most in the world was you. He memorized your habits, every inch of your curves, the moles in your skin and even the pattern of your breath. He told you when to eat, when to sleep, who to [not] meet, and what to do for the day. Your needs had never been fulfilled to such an extent until he appeared by your side. And you knew then that no one could understand you better than him - not even yourself, which is why you took his words for scripture. Since then, you’ve done everything he told you to do without question. Crawling into your room, you turn around and roll the cage door back down before settling into one of the cushions in the corner.

It was almost 7, which meant daddy would be home soon, and then you could eat.

Kerosene in my hand.

Today in psychology class you had learned about psychological manipulation. You didn’t want to think like this, but the definition of the word reminded you of your boyfriend. Like when the professor talked about using underhand tactics to change social perceptions, you thought about the time Jimin kept flirting with your best friend until she fell for him, even while knowing you liked him. It led you to completely ostracize her from your life. Or when the teacher mentioned using deceit and lies to influence the thoughts of others, it made you remember the time Jimin told you about the things people were saying behind your back until you lost trust in everyone but him. Somehow, the whole ordeal of being gaslit really resonated with you, and you’re not even sure why. Jimin only did these things to protect you from others, you reason. You shouldn’t think like that - not when Jimin is the only person in this world who cares for you. Regretting what you just did, you beat yourself in the head with your fists in dismay. What kind of horrible person thinks these lies about the person who loves them more than anything?

The pain from your head and heart surrounded you in an agonizing heat as you began to cry, sitting down on your bed to text Jimin. You wanted him to come over, you wanted to tell him what you did and you wanted him to forgive you, so you could forgive yourself. He’d be able to tell your bad thoughts to go away, he’d be able to make you feel safe again. Jimin was right all along - the only thing you ever needed was him.

Artist at heart.

“Say ah~”

“Fuck you.”

“Oh my! Doll, you’re too pretty to be cursing.” Taehyung replies with a gasp, feigning shock as he places the caviar back on his plate. You roll your eyes and scoff. It’s usually a good thing if your boyfriend treats you like a priceless artifact, right? Well, not for you. Not when your boyfriend can actually place a price on you. $10,000 to be exact - $10,000 to a random thug so he could break the arms of the man who asked you for your number in the coffee shop.

“I heard about the man you hired, Tae. How many times will I tell you I’m not an object?”

“Everyone’s an object, doll.” Taehyung smirks, casually wiping his mouth with a linen napkin, “Some are just more...costly than others.”

You stare at the unbothered man in annoyance. His whole room was filled with original paintings, marbled statues, golden gadgets and silver trinkets. And in between it all, you had also started to feel like one of his art displays with the way he dressed you silk and bathed you in luxury - refusing to let others sully you by their dirty looks or touches. But then again, it isn’t too bad, you think as he brings the caviar and cream up to your lips yet again. He never hurts you - he’s never even raised his voice at you. You’re too precious for that, he says. And well, at least you’d never get injured or feel lonely with all the love and care he gives his possessions. So, with a sigh, you bite into the dessert he was offering you and watch him break out into a boxy grin.

He wasn’t so bad - just a little artist at heart.

Baby Boy?

(Are we surprised? No)

Your boyfriend was an enigma. Baby-faced, but with the body of Apollo. But he wasn’t just physically confusing. You had a hard time understanding him mentally as well. For one, he’d sternly tell you to do something but then get all teary-eyed if you dared say no. Then there were times where he’d swear he wasn’t jealous but he’d become green, red and purple at the mere mention of a guy in your life. In bed, he always preferred to be on top but the slightest pressure you applied turned him into a crying and whining bottom. You just didn’t get him, but it was definitely fun to press his buttons. It never occurred to you just how much you might enjoy making a tall-ass, jacked man into a whimpering and pouting mess, but you definitely enjoyed it nonetheless. Other girls would kill to be in your place, you were just so lucky. Everyday you’d get braver with your tests, whether it was flirting with other men or wearing skimpy outfits. His jealousy was endearing and his possessiveness made you squeal with glee. The bolder you became with your crusades, the more you failed to realize that everyone had their limit. And once they’re pushed past it, the consequences can be jarring. Especially if they’re someone as mysterious as Jungkook.

Then again, there was no better way to find out then to try. So keep trying him...just so we can see how lucky you truly are.

_

A/N: I’m back I think? This is for the rock anon, I hope you like it doll ;). anyway i wrote it in an hour and i was telling myself not to make it basic and sht readers read like 100 times in this tag but whaddya know i failed. lmk what you think cause i need a compliment.❤

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

so i’ve read your entire fanfic recs lists and thank you so much for making it!! it introduced me to some of my fave fics like I Think It’s A Real Waste by Jaded Angel and That’s My Baby by kezztip (not including your works of course because i love them all). but now i’m at a lost of what to read. do you have any current fics or fics you would add to your lists?

p.s. so excited RYLH is gonna be updated soon!!! i am seriously in love with that story that it’s my pick me up fic

I'm glad my fanfic recs post was useful to you!! I spent a lot of time making that and I love ALL the stories I recommended.

[do you have any current fics or fics you would add to your lists?] -- Oh hell yeah, a lot of new fics came out after I made that post, and I've found a few more old ones. I'll list them all below (this is going to be LONG):

Multichapters:

all that glitters by SparklingSoul (canon divergence s3):

After getting into some hot water, Jackie and Hyde find themselves thrust into an unlikely partnership-- a partnership where in the lines of morality quickly become blurred as they lead each other down a questionable path to cope with their less than ideal home lives.

This story is a WIP.

Y'ALL, please trust me and read this one, it's amazing. The first chapter was posted yesterday and I'm already addicted.

Rated T.

6k words, one chapter so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Fez/Kelso, and Eric/Donna.

Baby Blue by crimsinsky (s7 fix-it):

Zenmasters being Godparents.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

4k words, 5 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Kelso/Brooke

Friend of the Devil by glittermila (AU):

An AU where Hyde's a girl, and falls for Jackie anyway.

Btw, everyone's gay in this story and I love it, lol.

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

65k words, 26 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Buddy, Eric/Donna, Fez/Kelso.

He Let Her Go by kezztip (canon divergence s7):

Jackie runs away to her wealthy grandmother in New York after the midseason 7 breakup. Will absence make Hyde's heart grow fonder? What happens when Jackie returns for a secret visit?

This story is complete.

Rated T.

17k words, 17 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I Think I Was Blind Before I Met You by TeaTimeAllOverTown (AU):

He’s 14 and she’s 13 and he finds her crying outside the prison doors and, not that he would ever admit it, hearing her cry makes his skin itch.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

15k words, 2 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Just Ask Santa by heatherlea75 (post s8, Christmas fic):

This is a two part Christmas story featuring JH from Cliches and Things They Say. Sometimes, adults should believe in Santa Claus, too.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

10k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Miracle by B_August (AU):

To Pam Burkhart, Jackie is the abnormal child that her husband dragged in during their vacation in Hawaii. To her peers, she's the smart and stuck-up princess that graces the school halls. To the Basement Gang, she's the annoying brat that infiltrated their ranks. To Jackie herself, she is a super powered freak who just wants to do her best. But to Jack Burkhart, Buddy Morgan, a pair of higher life forms, and those who she would later help, she is nothing short of a miracle.

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

47k words, 33 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Fez/Buddy

My Best Friend's Girl by the bohemian flow (AU):

What if Hyde had a crush on Jackie instead of Donna?

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

2k words, one chapter so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, temporary Jackie/Kelso

perfect matches burn (and baby, so do we) by deartangerine (AU):

One year after their break-up, Jackie and Hyde have finally pieced themselves back together, on their own. Jackie's in school. Hyde's sober. But one fateful weekend stuck together at their best friends' wedding might be all it takes to tear them down again.

Or maybe, just maybe, to build something new.

Another fic where Hyde's genderbent, and it's great! I highly recommend reading the prequel, our fingers intertwined (just like our hearts).

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

24k words, 9 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Play With Fire by ShinyBo0ts0fLeather (s8 canon divergence):

After Hyde comes back from Las Vegas, Sam comes into everyone's life and thus ruining the very last chance he had with Jackie. Instead of the moping around, Jackie is now fueled with fire and a sense of determination to move on and make a life for herself as a strong, independent woman. Instead of turning their back on Jackie and siding with Hyde, Eric, Donna, Kelso, Fez and even Laurie remain loyal friends to Jackie. Hyde is completely broken, but isn't a complete asshole to Jackie. The gang doesn't turn their back on Hyde, but instead support him yet hold him responsible for his actions instead of sweeping it all under the rug. While Jackie is set on moving on, Hyde is set on getting Jackie back and changing his ways for both her and his sake. Whatever it takes.

Eric never left to Africa, and Kelso is in Chicago with Brooke, but is still around. Donna sticks to her feminist values like in the early seasons and is a better friend to Jackie. Jackie is close to the Forman's as well, and her relationship with her father will be prominent and better here as well. Overall positive with some angst.

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

30k words, 15 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Something Unexpected by crimsinsky (s1 canon divergence):

What if Jackie wasn’t quite so heartbroken over Kelso kissing Pam Macy?

This story is a WIP.

Rated T.

15k words, 11 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Red/Kitty

Spirit In The Night by springsteenicious (s4/s5 canon divergence):

Jackie and Hyde are in the midst of a passionate- and secret- fling. When Kelso's sister lends the six of them her cabin by a lake for a few days, they have to be even more secretive. But secrecy proves to be a difficult thing to maintain, especially when they can't seem to get enough of each other's presence. (Inspired by the Bruce Springsteen song).

This story is funny as hell, and it's a WIP.

Rated T.

4k words, 2 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Take The Money and Run! by MinaSeraphina (post s7):

This here's a story about Steven Hyde and Jackie Blue. Two young lovers with nothin' better to do...

Complete.

Rated M.

29k words, 12 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One That Wasn't Canon by samcaponi (AU):

Basically, this is an AU where Jackie never dated Kelso. It's not set in a specific season but will take different aspects from each season.

This has to be one of the cutest stories I've ever read in my life.

This story is a WIP.

It doesn't have a rating.

11k words, 9 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Things Fall Apart by leoasc (s8 canon divergence):

On one night in a motel room in Chicago, Jackie and Hyde learn a valuable lesson about love and life: Things fall apart. People get hurt. Hearts get broken. Over the course of nine months and a series of events no one saw coming, they learn how true that really is.

Prepare yourself because your heart's going to be crushed, but the author guaranteed that they'll fix it so I'm trusting them.

This story is a WIP.

60k words, 9 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Too Late by brokenrussiancrawl (s8 canon divergence):

Hyde was not stalking her. It was just, after months of not seeing or hearing from her, finally spotting her in a bar made him realize how much he truly missed her. The only problem is, the tiny brunette wants nothing to do with the gang...even more so him. But he couldn't stay away.

This is angsty. Very, very angsty. But it's great!

This story is a WIP.

Rated T, but the author said that might change later.

23k words, 5 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/OC, background Eric/Donna

We're Not Broken, Just Bent by SparklingSoul (post s8):

When tragedy strikes and Jackie and Hyde are forced to live up to their godparent duties, they need to overcome their differences and work together. Along the way, they realize that maybe their relationship isn’t broken beyond repair after all...

This story is one of my favorites, I love it so much!! Please read it.

This story is complete.

Rated T.

67k words, 24 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

When Did This Happen? by QueenBookBuff (post s8):

Hyde is stunned when he finds out Jackie and Eric no longer hate each other, and he finds he hates the idea of her having a soft place to land that is not him. What he hates even more is the idea that Eric is protecting Jackie from him.

Angsty and beautiful story, I'm loving it.

This story is a WIP.

Rated M.

46k words, 13 chapters so far.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One-shots:

Anything For You, Doll by icanseeformiles (missing moment):

One-shot, takes place during season 5. Jackie is sick while staying overnight with Hyde in the basement, and Hyde has to take care of her. All fluff.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Five Years by johnnycakewasgolden (idk, it wasn't specified):

It's been five years. Fluffy fic. Sappiness. H/J.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

He Cared by johnnycakewasgolden (missing moment):

After Hyde tells Kelso that he's a tool for trying to get out of Brooke's pregnancy. Hyde's thoughts drift to Jackie and everything between them.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Here I Go Again by Tandy (I think it's post s8 but I'm not sure):

Life had not turned out like Jackie had planned. She wasn't rich, she had no maid, no mansion, and no husband. (don't worry this is fluffy).

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song by springsteenicious (s5 canon divergence):

"Every time the time was right all the words just came out wrong, so I'll have to say I love you in a song..."

Hyde isn't sure how to tell Jackie he loves her. Then he finds the perfect way, and it's a song sung by Jim Croce.

Rated G.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

I LOVE YOU by PrettyinPink33 (I think it's s5 canon divergence but I'm not sure):

"Why can't you say it? It's three words. Eight letters! Why can't you say it?" Hyde doesn't want to use the L-word. A sweet little fluffy J/H oneshot

Rated T.

839 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

is this the place that i've been dreaming of? by SparklingSoul (missing moment):

“I’m mostly over it now,” she continues, “but sometimes I can’t help but worry about that same thing with any guy. So tell me, would you break up with me, too?”

Jackie has some leftover relationship insecurities from when she dated Kelso and Hyde is there to remind her that she doesn't have to worry anymore.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

It's a Hyde Thing by not.so.tragically (AU canon divergence):

It became a Hyde thing. She had part in one of his Hyde things, and for some reason, he was okay with it.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Magic Man by ShanghaiLily (missing moment):

Just a sexy little 'missing scene' one-shot that takes place after Donna returns from California and she and Eric catch Jackie & Hyde together on the couch but before Kelso finds out about the affair. After a naughty afternoon together, they admit to themselves & each other they don't want to break up.

Rated M. Very M.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Nice To Meet You by crimsinsky (AU):

What If Jackie and Hyde met without Jackie and Kelso ever dating?

A loudmouth girl meets a troublemaking knight in shining armor.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Now you're looking pretty in a hotel bar by MissRaichyl (post s8):

Hyde and Jackie meet after a long time apart and find comfort in each other that they thought was long gone.

Rated M.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Old and Grey by zpplnchick (post s8):

After a busy day of shopping, Jackie and Hyde make one last purchase: new boots. Post-finale. Told from a 3rd-party perspective.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

One Special Morning by marirable (missing moment):

If anyone caught him at this hour and in this situation, they would be inevitably buried in the Formans' backyard to maintain his burnout image and not lead it towards the worst. Towards the gang thinking that Hyde got himself a heart.

Rated K.

643 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

She's a Rainbow by trobedisons (AU? idk):

"she comes in colors everywhere, she combs her hair, she's like a rainbow."

as with everything, jackie is the opposite. they're polar opposites. the rich girl; the bad boy. archetypes that should clash, but they attract. it was as if his calloused hands were crafted to mold into the curve of her hips.

hyde notices jackie’s affinity for rainbow sweaters. hyde also notices he likes jackie. so what happens when she needs a date?

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Big Toy by JoyfulHeartEO (missing moment?):

When Jackie and Hyde get bored at the Drive in with their friends...where will they go? And what will they do? ;D Read and find out what happens.

Rated M because this has a lot of sex, but it's well written and funny.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Where Did You Sleep Last Night by QueenBookBuff (s8 canon divergence):

Would a married Jackie ever break her vow to be faithful?

I love ALL of QBB's stories, but this one has a special place in my heart, I don't know why.

Rated T.

This work is part of a series, so there's a sequel.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Jackie/Kelso

Why Didn't You Tell Anyone? by zpplnchick (missing moment):

The gang talks about their first kiss, and a surprising revelation is revealed… Set shortly after 4x20.

Rated K+.

6k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

You Give Me Fever by crimsinsky (missing moment):

Jackie is sick, or is she? She claims she is, but Kelso says he saw her not too long ago. Who is Hyde supposed to believe, and what does he do about it?

Rated G.

5k worrds.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

1983 by antrazi (post s8? idk):

Somebody comes back and watches Hyde's life from the outside.

Rated T.

731 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

*

I think this is it! I probably forgot some fics because my brain is weird, but yeah. I've read all of these, and they're all amazing. I think you'll love them!

[hot-wiings]

Leave An Ask Or Comment To Be Added To A Specific Characters Taglist.

Edited: 10-21-2020

When you woke up the next morning you felt a discomfort between your legs. Your core hurt, but it was nothing compared to when Kai had his way with you. kai roughly took you. He didn't take the time to let you get aroused, he just dove right in and got himself off without care about whether you were enjoying it or not. He didn't listen when you said no, instead, he forced you to give in. He forced himself on you and coerced you, then he left you to clean up the mess. 

Dabi gently took you. He took his time and paid attention. He asked you if he was hurting you, he asked you if what he was doing was okay. He made sure you were aroused when he took you. He was kind but he still got you in just the right spots making you crave more. He was attentive and made it enjoyable. Unlike your mysophobic captor, he cleaned you up. 

When you woke up, Dabi's cum was not dripping from your body like last night. You were worried you'd wake up to dry cum crusted on your skin, but he had cleaned you up. Not only had he cleaned you up from his ejaculation, but he had put clothes on you. Instead of being naked, you wore a long-sleeved pajama shirt and jogging pants. As you felt the bedding you noticed he had changed the sheets and blankets from your sinful acts of the previous night. You must've been really out of it because you hadn't woke up. Whether it was from him wearing you out from your activities, or the fact you hadn't felt so safe sleeping in such a long time remained a mystery. 

You pulled yourself out of bed, wincing slightly at the pain. It was more bearable than what Kai was capable of doing to you, and once you stopped thinking about the pain you barely noticed it. You couldn't lie that it hurt Dabi wasn't there when you woke up, but you knew that had someone caught Dabi in your bedroom like that it would cause hell for you both. Sure Dabi was supposed to watch you, but if he was seen leaving your room so early in his clothes from the day before it would arise suspicious questions. He would have to return to your room in the late morning when people could witness him coming to watch you in an innocent matter.

Despite that rational thinking, you couldn't help but wonder if he regretted last night at all. As you slipped on clean fresh clothes you couldn't help but wonder if he meant his words to you. You couldn't help but ponder on if he meant them with honesty. You carried such baggage and trouble with you, a relationship together would be so troublesome for him. 

A knock on the door broke you out of your reverie. You quickly pulled your shirt down as you spoke out through the closed door. 

"Who is it?"

"It's Dabi."

You tried to slow down the heart palpations you received as you briskly walked over to the door and opened it. Just the sound of his deep voice brought electricity to every fiber of your body but seeing him standing in the doorway made you smile. He came back. 

"Hey." 

Dabi stepped inside your room and closed the door behind him. He was quick to pull you against his chest, his warmth completely engulfing you. You were relishing in his touch so much you hadn't realized tears were beginning to escape your eyes and drip onto his shirt. You hadn't realized up until Dabi pulled away and tilted your head up with his hands. His long fingers hooked behind your ears and his warm thumbs pushed away your tears. 

"What's wrong? Did I accidentally hurt you?"

"No, no you didn't. I'm sorry. I just- I know why you had to leave... But I was worried you regretted it. Regretted last night."

Your tone hushed and got quiet as you mumbled out the last part. Due to your proximity, Dabi still heard it. He pulled you against his chest again. His hold was tighter, more protective but not hurtful.  

"Doll, I didn't regret it."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't blame you. I know what complications come with me and you're not obligated to stick around just because I gave myself to you."

"Baby doll, I don't intend to leave. I'm staying and gettin' both you and Eri out. I meant what I said last night."

Your head rested against Dabi's chest as you let out a sigh of relief. You breathed in Dabi's scent of smoke, cigarettes, and sulfur. They were bad smells, yet they brought comfort and safety to your stomach. You lifted your head off of his chest and plopped your lips onto his. It was such a normal action, but it was so foreign. It had been so long since you willingly incited such a romantic action. It was wrong to do it with Dabi when you were dating Kai, albeit forcefully, but it was so right. When you were pulled against his chest, in his arms, you couldn't care to give Kai a single thought. You couldn't be bothered to care if it was morally wrong or right to cheat on a relationship that was forced on you. 

Kai was wrong. All the words he'd spoken to you. All the phrases and hurtful words he spits out. Every time he said no one could love you. Every time he said he was the only one who could love you. He was wrong, it was all wrong. Dabi could love you. Dabi did love you.

"I was half asleep when I said it... but I meant what I said too." 

Dabi dipped his head down to your ear and gave it a light nibble before whispering roughly, leaving tickles down your eardrum and cochlea. 

"I really do love you. I know it's early to say that... But you make me feel things. I'm so closed off, but you make me want to tell you everything about myself."

"Then tell me. You know so much about me, you know about Eri and my mother... I wanna know more about you."

Dabi pulls out of your embrace but keeps a hand in yours. He lightly tugs you along with him to your bed. Once he sits down on the fluffy blankets, he pulls you on top of his lap.

"What do you want to know, doll?"

Your hands came up and played with Dabi's hair as you nestled your body against his. Eliciting a smile from Dabi, you lightly tugged and pulled, but not in the same manner as the night before. It was nice to be able to just touch and love without getting hurt. 

"Everything. I wanna know everything about you Dabi."

"God, I don't know where to start... I guess I'll start with my childhood."

Dabi wrapped his arms around your waist, one arm around your back and the other across your lap. His warm hands gripped your thigh and waist as he spoke out his words to you. Dabi had briefly mentioned before that his father was abusive, that his father was mean but he escaped out. You couldn't imagine Dabi as a child, he looked so rough with his scars and staples it was hard to imagine him in a setting where he was young, innocent, and fresh. 

"Back then I went by Touya."

"Touya... I like that. Why did you stop using it?"

"My father picked it out. He demanded that he pick it out because I was destined to surpass him, his opinion changed after I received my quirk. When I left home I wanted nothing to do with him. I dyed my hair- it was red then - and I changed my name."

"I bet you looked nice with red hair."

"Mm, I was quite the fox in high school, all the ladies loved me. I never gave them the time of day. It's not something I'm proud of, but I used them for a quick screw and then I'd forget their number."

Your chest tightened as his words registered in your brain. You knew Dabi had a bad reputation. He's a villain, some sort of bad merit comes with that. Hearing him say it was different. How could you be sure you weren't going to be one of those girls? Then again, Dabi hadn't hit you like Kai and if he had ill intent why would he be sitting here telling you about his past. Almost as if he noticed your hesitation in your brain, Dabi dug his fingers in you tighter and pulled you against him closer. 

"It's different with you. You like me even though I am a villain, you like me despite my scars and staples. Those girls in high school didn't want me, they wanted Touya. They wanted his status. They wanted his wealth. They wanted Touya, the eldest Todoroki sibling."

"Todoroki... Todoroki as in Endeavor, like the hero?"

"Enji Todoroki is my father, but he is not a hero." 

Before Kai closed you off from the world you'd seen Endeavor on the news a lot. As the number two hero, he made lots of appearances. With All Might's lack of recent activity, Endeavor began taking the spotlight more. Although he wasn't your favorite hero, you thought he was one of the greats. As Dabi gripped onto you tightly he made a face, a face of fear. He looked scared and nervous to be talking about the man who raised him. Endeavor saved people, but clearly, there was a dark presence behind the man. 

"He was obsessed with surpassing All Might. When my quirk showed up he was less than happy, he pressured my mom into having more kids, more weapons for him to use. My mother gave birth to my sister Fuyumi, my brother Natsuo, then finally she had Shouto."

It was like Dabi's breath hitched in his throat. He had a hard time letting the words out. He hadn't ever told anyone about his childhood. In school, he never allowed himself to be close to anyone, and he never uttered a word to a soul in the league. 

"Shouto had both of my parents quirks, and to Enji that was valuable. He separated my brother from me and my siblings, forced him to train to become a hero at a very young age. He abused my mother when she tried to stop him, physically and mentally. She couldn't bear to look at me, behind I looked so much like him."

You pulled Dabi's head against your neck and he was quick to bury himself inside it. He let out a few sobs, but they were muffled against your skin. His tears streamed down his face as he pulled back to finish talking.

"Eventually she snapped. She threw a pot of boiling water down Shouto's face, the side of him that looked like Enji. He threw her in a mental institution. I was twelve, and I had to help raise Fuyumi, Natsou, and Shouto. I was just twelve, and I had to cook dinners. I was twelve and I had to help Natsuo with his math homework. I was twelve and I watched Enji train my brother so hard he threw up, and when I tried to stop him I would get beat."

"Oh, Dabi..."

"When I turned seventeen he became tamer. He never beat Fuyumi, she was his soft spot, and he never beat Natsuo... I think his face reminded him too much of my mom. They stopped needing me, so I left. I faked my suicide and left. I still keep tabs on them. My sister is a teacher, still living at home to take care of him. Natsuo's in college, and Shouto's in the prestigious UA."

Dabi moved his hands from your thigh to your face. He cupped your cheeks and brought his lips to yours.

"I hate my father for the abuse. I hate him so much, but to stay in the game long enough for my siblings to stay safe, I had to play the game. I had to lay down and place my cheek up until they were old enough to stand up and defend themselves, old enough to not need me."

"You don't deserve that. No one deserves that."

"You don't deserve it, but I need you to do it. I need you to play Kai's game. Pretend that you want him. Pretend you can't get enough of him. Pretend your so in love. We need him to get laxer. The laxer he is, the easier--safer it'll be to get you and Eri out. To survive the games you gotta play the game."

You mirrored Dabi's actions by pressing your lips back against his. Your kisses held passion and love. Your hand came up and caressed his cheek softly, skimming lightly over his staples, unsure if it was a soft and sensitive or not.

"I'll do it Dabi. I'll hate every minute of it, but I'll do it. I'll stop fighting, give in, embrace it. I'll play Kai's game."

[chiseler]

Ginger Rogers: Curse of the Working Class

A natural-born mimic, ham, tease, hard worker, stoic follower and out-of-reach babe, Ginger Rogers has proven one of the most difficult to define of all the 1930s Hollywood stars. At her best she was a synonym for fun and high spirits while also conveying a dignified and skeptical kind of resistance to other people, and these contradictory impulses made her one of the most special and ambiguous performers of her time. Rogers excelled in her first seven musicals with Fred Astaire and in several of her comedy vehicles and even in some of the programmers she churned out in the early 1930s. She was beloved, and rightly so.

In Stage Door (1937), Rogers gives one of the most distinctive, most suggestive, and most perfectly judged performances of the period, molding every one of her bone-dry, wisecracking line readings (and what lines she has in that movie!) into something pleasurable, something unexpected, even something profound, delivering them all with her guarded, in-transit sort of face.

I’ve seen Stage Door probably more times than I’ve seen any other movie, but I always notice something new in it, some new line, some new angle. As a kid, I didn’t really understand the source of Rogers’s misgivings here, which is the same source that animates her outrageously and inventively bitchy yet somehow tender and worldly fights with Linda (Gail Patrick), her high-falutin’ former roommate. Linda is the mistress of Anthony Powell (Adolphe Menjou), a powerful Broadway producer. When Powell sees Rogers’s Jean Maitland rehearsing a dance routine, his little weasel eyes light up with lust. He thinks she’s just playing hard to get when she makes her habitual mordant jokes at him, but she is really just trying to delay the inevitable. She wants no part of sleeping with a man for his money not because she thinks it’s morally wrong, per se, but because she’s basically too tired-out to go through those motions.

Jean is so disenchanted that the disenchantment seems to be leading her to some kind of drastic change. She talks herself into going out with Powell but gets out of sleeping with him by getting, or pretending to get, disruptively yet vaguely drunk. Jean gets drunk the way she does everything else, at some very unusual kind of steady and wary behavioral half-mast. She cracks wise as a matter of course, but she sleeps with a doll and she plays a ukulele. These cute details don’t seem to fit her character, but they do express the divided character of the woman who was playing her.

Jean stumbles home from Powell’s penthouse to her new roommate Terry (Katharine Hepburn), a rich girl with airily la-di-da attitudes about life and the theater. Hepburn had not endeared herself to Rogers with her much-repeated remark about Rogers’s partnership with Astaire: “He gives her class and she gives him sex.” The competitive rivalry between Hepburn’s upper-class pretension and Rogers’s low-burning common sense is the heart of their conflict in Stage Door, and this conflict and mutual dislike reads as pure chemistry on screen, just as it did for Rogers with Astaire.

There is such chemistry between Jean and Terry that Stage Door has always been a kind of closeted lesbian classic just waiting to burst into full-on Sapphic love. Terry has no love interest and shows zero interest in acquiring one, while Jean looks more than ready to give up on poor, unreliable young men and rich, sexually demanding older men like Powell. Jean and Terry, in fact, are perfect for each other and wind up with each other, and in the last scene Rogers reaches a kind of epiphany as she reacts to their friend Judy (Lucille Ball) leaving New York to get married. “At least she’ll have a couple of kids to keep her company in her old age, and what’ll we have?” she asks. “Some broken-down memories and an old scrapbook that nobody’ll look at.”

I first saw Stage Door when I was eight years old. Now that I’m well into adulthood, these last few lines that Rogers tosses off with such face-the-facts casualness have the force of revelation, as if she has finally washed up on the shores of some final philosophy. They predict the real lives of both Hepburn and Rogers (though some people still do want to leaf through those particular scrapbooks) and Terry and Jean, and everybody else for whom the easy way and the conventional way of living will never fit or will never be acceptable.

Rogers was capable of that tough-minded and frank and bleak attitude on screen, but in life and in general she was actually, and alarmingly, one of the most clueless of stars, never quite knowing what it was that people liked about her. Starting as early 1938, the year she made Vivacious Lady and Carefree, something peculiar started to happen to Rogers. After years of the most unlikely and enormous success in her Astaire films, where she was up to any dance challenge he gave her and where her timing in both musical and comic and dramatic scenes was magically sharp, her timing started to go horribly awry. Rogers began to be afflicted by self-consciousness, miscalculation, cutesiness, self-infatuated archness and flashes of deep-rooted mean-mindedness. She slipped back into her best controlled star mode in several films after that year, but she started to deteriorate more and more by the mid-1940s, almost as if someone had put a curse on her.

Rogers was born Virginia McMath in Independence, Missouri in 1911. Her formidable mother Lela Rogers was a writer for silent films and a journalist, and she was seemingly joined at the hip to her daughter. It was Rogers who wanted a career as an actress, and Lela resisted this at first, but when Ginger won a Charleston contest Mama Lela knew which way the wind was blowing. She poured all of her own considerable energy and ambition into making Ginger a star and keeping her one (that first name supposedly came about because a cousin couldn’t pronounce the name Virginia).

At the height of her stardom, when Rogers was sent the script of The Hard Way (1943), she wonderingly said, “This is the story of my life,” and turned it down. In that movie, Ida Lupino works like a demon to get her malleable kid sister (Joan Leslie) into show business, and the comparison is not flattering to Lela, who made a fool of herself testifying before HUAC as an expert on Communist infiltration of Hollywood, citing particularly the time when Rogers had to say Dalton Trumbo’s line, “Share and share alike, that’s democracy” in Tender Comrade (1943). Lela herself actually turns up playing Ginger’s mother in Billy Wilder’s The Major and the Minor (1942), and she’s a rather low-key presence, but she talks and moves like a woman who has power and feels no need to make any outward show of it.

In that Wilder movie, Rogers spends most of her time pretending to be a twelve-year old, and this uneasy reversion to little-girlhood was one of her most troubling fallback modes. She had made her first successes on stage with “baby talk monologues” written by Lela, and her early style, as seen in films like Young Man of Manhattan (1930) and Honor Among Lovers (1931), was very much a hold-over from the 1920s, a Betty Boop baby vamp persona that was more suited to cameo roles than to leads (Claudette Colbert, the star of Young Man of Manhattan, gently mocks these baby affectations after meeting Rogers’s character).

She churned out lots of low-budget programmers in 1932, and in 1933 she made ten films. In two of those, 42nd Street and Gold Diggers of 1933, Rogers nearly steals the show in fairly small parts. As Anytime Annie, a notoriously obliging chorus girl in 42nd Street, Rogers is first seen wearing a monocle and affecting a grand manner accent, and this was the first sign of her aptitude for two-faced disguise. As Manuel Puig once said of Ann-Margret, Rogers is anything but reassuring.

She’s close to surreal in her gold-coin outfit singing “We’re in the Money” with pig Latin verse in Gold Diggers of 1933, looking directly into the camera and not flinching as it travels all the way up to her face. Rogers gobbled up attention like that, and she had what it took, but she needed something or someone to stabilize her. When she strips down to her slip and stockings and gyrates in Professional Sweetheart (1933), an outraged Norman Foster spanks and then punches her, the first in an increasingly ominous series of punishments that would shadow her later career.

In the very horny Pre-Code musical Flying Down to Rio (1933), her first film with Astaire, Rogers is a hot mama, singing and swaying to “Music Makes Me” in a vagina power dress that even Marilyn Monroe might have rejected as too overt. When they dance “The Carioca,” Astaire starts out holding his head slightly away from Rogers, as if she might be diseased, but by the end their electric chemistry has fully kicked in.

Astaire had spent his youth dancing with his sister Adele and didn’t want to get stuck with another steady partner. Rogers had her eye on dramatic parts, announcing to an incredulous press that she wanted to play Joan of Arc. She was an ambitious and competitive person, and she knew that she was not even close to Astaire’s Olympian league as a dancer. But that’s part of the magic of their series of films, in which Rogers improves as a dancer bit by bit until she is fully capable of following his every step.

Astaire objected that no one would believe Rogers as an English girl in The Gay Divorcee (1934), and surely no one could mistake her for English, but this part gave her the reserve that she intriguingly used and toyed with for her best years as a star. Like most first sexual experiences between two people, their first real romantic dance together in that film, “Night and Day,” is both exciting and a little awkward. In their follow-up Roberta (1935), Rogers looks tense during their slow “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” routine, but she comes wonderfully alive when they casually tap to “Hard to Handle,” their first really great dance together.

She was always at her best in the lively comic numbers, where her wacky energy seems to warm Astaire, but she worked hard at the dramatic routines, so that when they do “Let’s Face the Music and Dance” in Follow the Fleet (1936), Rogers has somehow ascended up to Astaire’s level as a dancer. It must have taken nearly super-human will, but she did it, and audiences saw and felt her progress, and they loved it because it meant that anything was possible if you worked hard enough, even dancing like or with Fred Astaire.

Astaire didn’t like her feather dress for the “Cheek to Cheek” dance in Top Hat (1935), and you can see why he didn’t: it’s a little tacky. Costumer Walter Plunkett said Rogers always wanted to “add a crepe paper orchid or a string of beads or some goddamned feathered thing. She just never could resist little improvements.” But her feather dress in Top Hat does move beautifully when she dances, even if we do see some of the feathers floating away from them, as if she’s molting.

A more characteristic and winning image of her comes in the way she hikes up her skirt in the “Pick Yourself Up” number in Swing Time, which has a deeply charming kind of put-on nonchalance, or in the soldier-like way she executes a series of brutally exacting turns at the end of the “Never Gonna Dance” finale toward the end of that movie (while she shot this scene, her feet started to bleed in her shoes). One of the real pleasures of American moviegoing is watching Rogers as Astaire sings a love song to her: she would listen so intently, with barely any change of expression, but with such sensitive receptivity behind her eyes and in the set of her mouth.

People like to wonder if Astaire and Rogers hated each other. Maybe there were moments when they did, but mainly they just resented being tied together as a team, and those misgivings are part of what give their partnership and their best dances such impact, such crackle. Rogers reported in her autobiography that Astaire had taken her out on dates in New York when they were both working in theater, and at the end of one such date he gave her “a kiss that would never have passed the Hays Office Code!” But when they worked together in films, Astaire was married to a woman he adored, and he was a distant taskmaster in the killer rehearsal sessions for their dance routines. His friends, cultivated when he played on stage in London in the 1920s, were the English gentry. Rogers was not his cup of tea, and he made that known to her in subtle ways. She said either, and he said eye-ther, and they wanted to call the whole thing off, but no one else ever did.

In the many years after their partnership ended, they were still stuck with each other, and they both still resented that. Rogers would sometimes make friendly overtures to Astaire, and he would politely but firmly put her off, and this led to hurt feelings for her, so much so that she didn’t even go to his American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony. Film scholar Joseph McBride helped to put together that evening, and when I asked him about it, he remembered Astaire saying, “I suppose we’ll have to have Ginger,” in an irritated voice. When she didn’t come to the ceremony, it seemed like sour grapes on her part, but it had been made clear to Rogers that Astaire only wanted the bare minimum to do with her, and so she withdrew. It would do well to remember, of course, just how obnoxious Rogers could be. If you want to feel the full force of that, just look at any number of the films she made from 1944 to 1964 and you’ll see one garishly misplayed, mistimed performance after another, including the last one she did with Astaire, The Barkleys of Broadway (1949), where her dramatic aspirations were mocked and then the mockery was unintentionally confirmed when she did a goggle-eyed recreation of Sarah Bernhardt reciting the Marseillaise.

So what happened to Rogers? Why did she lose all of the qualities that had made her a star right after her stardom was confirmed? Many writers have tried to explain it. Analyzing Astaire and Rogers in The Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers Book (1972), Arlene Croce says, “She’s an American classic, just as he is: common clay that we prize above exotic marble. The difference between them is that he knew it and she didn’t. Rogers always wanted to be something more. Probably no other major star has so severely tried the loyalty of her public by constantly changing her appearance and her style.” In his book Romantic Comedy (1987), James Harvey writes, “Can there be any other major star who was so variable, even from film to film, as she was?”

Harvey blames George Stevens, who directed maybe the finest Astaire/Rogers film, Swing Time (1936). He sees a softening of her character in the straight scenes in Swing Time, but the rot really sets in with Vivacious Lady, a romantic comedy that has all the elements for success but perversely ruins them with its taffy-pull pacing, its willful lack of coordination, its leaning on jags and cutesiness and bizarre sequences like the fight scene between Rogers and a rival that devolves into a series of unmoving tableaus broken only by a coy laugh from Rogers, as if Stevens wanted to turn her into Frank McHugh. In the same year, in Carefree with Astaire, Rogers exhibits such unpleasant sadism when her character is under hypnosis that it feels like a revelation of some inner nastiness that had always been prudently hidden from view.

The damage was reversed in Bachelor Mother (1939), a working girl comedy that has no right to be as charming as it is, where Rogers added a kind of moony dreaminess to her repertoire of personas. She then made two films for Stage Door director Gregory La Cava, 5th Avenue Girl (1939) and Primrose Path (1940). In her second La Cava film, Rogers is so deadpan that it reads as a lack of basic vitality, a first in her career; it’s as if La Cava is unearthing the suicidal or even homicidal side of Jean Maitland. “People annoy me,” she says in that movie, and boy does she mean it. In Stage Door, when Powell tells Jean he wants to put her name in big electric lights, she says, “Gotta be big enough to keep people away.” La Cava is the director who understood Rogers the most, discerning something anti-social and solitary behind her sunny audience-pleasing looks and manner. In Primrose Path, he cast her as a teenager who breaks away from her family before she joins their prostitution racket, and her work in that movie is stark, clean, unsentimental.

Rogers won an Oscar for Kitty Foyle (1940), and many have dated her decline from that point, even if she is modestly touching in what is a modest working girl soap opera. She was close to unbearable in Tom, Dick and Harry (1941), where director Garson Kanin seems to dote on every moment of her self-indulgent performance as a dumb and narcissistic telephone operator who must choose between three suitors. Something about playing dumb here makes Rogers’s style seem laborious and throws her timing all out of whack, yet the following year, in Roxie Hart (1942), she certainly gets her laughs with her broad playing of a very dumb murderess who lives for publicity and likes to do the Black Bottom for reporters. In her segment in Tales of Manhattan (1942), you want to say to her, “OK, you can have all that hair on the top of your head or you can have all that hair fanning over your back, but you can’t have both, Ginger.”

Leo McCarey’s Once Upon a Honeymoon (1942) did her no favors, but most writers agree that the real coup de grâce in her career was Lady in the Dark (1944), a Technicolor movie of the psychoanalytical stage musical that had starred Gertrude Lawrence. Rogers insisted on playing it, and she was at loggerheads with director Mitchell Leisen and Paramount studio chief Buddy DeSylva, who vengefully cut most of the Kurt Weill songs from the film. All in all, the mercifully little-seen Lady in the Dark looks now almost as if it had been made in a spirit of deliberate sabotage. It is has to be the most nastily misogynist of any major studio production of this time, constantly hammering home the idea that Rogers’s Liza Elliott is an unnatural woman unhealthily attached to her work, and her leading man Ray Milland warrants particular scorn here for the gleefulness he brings to the scenes where he humiliates Rogers’s character. In the one extended musical number Rogers has, “The Saga of Jenny,” she doesn’t seem to have been given any choreography or direction and she can barely move in the outfit Leisen designed for her. “After Lady in the Dark there was nothing left of the Rogers character,” wrote Croce. “She died on the analyst’s couch.”

Rogers’s career proceeded only through sheer determination on her part (and on Lela’s part). She floundered in an updated remake of Grand Hotel (1932) called Week-end at the Waldorf (1945), and the next twenty years of her career were a real trial for her fans from the 1930s. Howard Hawks’s Monkey Business (1952) was supposed to be about scientist Cary Grant reverting to childhood when he drinks an elixir of youth, but Rogers insisted that she “wanted to do the kid thing too,” and so she ripped into scene after scene of coarse-grained youthful impersonation, the wise child of her early ‘30s character bearing rotten and poisonously un-watchable fruit.  Cast as a hardened gangster’s moll in Phil Karlson’s Tight Spot (1955), Rogers is so heavy-handed and slow and cutesey with her dialogue that the effect is ghastly. If I were to make a simple diagnosis of her problems in the last half of her film career, I’d say that she caught a bad case of George Stevens-itis and never got over it (she had an affair with the married director during Vivacious Lady, which had Lela up in arms).

When she worked with a fine and sensitive director, as she did with Frank Borzage for Magnificent Doll (1946) and with Edmund Goulding for Teenage Rebel (1956), Rogers was still capable of restrained and acceptable if somewhat colorless work. But hateful things kept happening to her. In something like Storm Warning (1951), where she does battle with the Ku Klux Klan while also doing a transposed version of A Streetcar Named Desire, it seemed as if someone behind the scenes wanted to see Rogers punished. When Steve Cochran attacks her in Storm Warning, the scene is so prolonged that finally it is Rogers being humiliated and hurt, not the character she is playing.

Rogers went through five husbands, including the pacifistic and beautiful Lew Ayres, and most of them lasted for a couple of years, but Lela was her real partner for life. The last husband, William Marshall, got her to play a madam in a dire film shot in Jamaica, variously known as The Confession and Quick, Let’s Get Married (1964), and after that low point she made only Harlow (1965), where she was intriguingly cast as Jean Harlow’s mother, before retaining her star status in long-running stage stints in Hello, Dolly! on Broadway and Mame in London. After that came a little TV and nightclub work, where she ended most of her songs with a corny wink to the audience. A Christian Scientist like her beloved or at least inescapable mother, Rogers refused medical treatment after having a stroke, and she was ill for several years before dying in 1995.

The last forty-five or so years of Rogers’s long career basically ran on fumes of good will from her first twelve years in movies, and particularly those Fred Astaire musicals that she preferred to forget. Like many actors, Rogers had no real center or base that was really her, and this lack of center meant that she was able to in effect be something she wasn’t with Astaire, and transcendently so, but it also meant that bad habits and instincts were ready to rush in and overwhelm her when her guard was down.

“May I rescue you?” Astaire asks her in Top Hat, to which she snaps, “No, I prefer being in distress.” The Astaire/Rogers films are so romantic because part of her resistance is that she is suspicious of romance, and maybe she doesn’t believe in it at all. That lack of belief was what made her so sexy beyond her God-given but worked-on perfect figure (“Women weren’t born with silk stockings on, you know,” she says in Follow the Fleet). Look at how cool and unreachable she is when Fred is singing his heart out to her during “Never Gonna Dance” in Swing Time. She preached that God is Love and soda fountains were forever, but in her best work with Astaire and in Stage Door, she let darker and more movingly yearning things cloud her almost cartoonishly pretty brow, and those things are what should define her and what should be remembered.

by Dan Callahan

[omgyouatetheprincess]

Janus’ Playlist

AHH JANUS' PLAYLIST LETS GOO

Not that anyone asked for my opinions

Okay so I'd like to start by saying that Thomas, Joan and Talyn did an amazing job on this playlist because every song fits Janus so perfectly.

Here are some of my thoughts on the songs and some interpretations I came up with or found on the internet.

Trigger Warnings - abortion. Mocking of religion.

Black Hole Sun - okay at first I was like 'wow this is really smooth and nice and the vocals are so sweet.' Then I heard the lyrics. "In disguises no one knows,

Hides the face, lies the snake". It's such a Deceit song and I imagine him dancing to it (with or without a partner).

Black Hole Sun by Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox, Haley Reinhart

It Seemed That Better Way - holy heck, can I point out that this song is such a bop? Leonard Cohen has such a soothing voice and it reminds me of Patrick Page (aha Hadestown) and if Janus wasn't played by Thomas, I could imagine this as his voice. The song is about not knowing what the truth is and what to believe, and has religious meanings which could be countering Patton and his Catholic beliefs.

It Seemed The Better Way by Leonard Cohen

Anywhere - I feel like Patton would hate this because the first line is "It's a beautiful world if you've been lied to by parents and priests". Anywhere describes how the world isn't a beautiful as it may seem, and that people lie to make you see it.

Anywhere by The Scarring Party

Talking At The Same Time - it is immediately dark and that everything seems fake and a... Lie. A lot of Deceit's songs are about the truth or that everything is a lie and I have to give massive kudos to Thomas, Joan and Talyn because they did an excellent job portraying Janus through his music taste. The song describes how everyone talks at the same time, and what I interpret that as is that everyone says the same thing over and over. It's hard to explain so I'll let you make your own interpretations of it.

Talking At The Same Time by Tom Waits

all the good girls go to hell - I'm not going to lie (ha) but I don't like Billie Eyelash, but I'll see past the artist. My first thought when I saw the song without hearing it is that it's a good choice and Janus probably loves Billie Eilish. Spotify has meanings of songs so I'm going to go off there: "This song is in the perspective of the Devil / no matter how good you are, desperate measures will eventually break you / turn you into bad." I feel like Deceit would sing this around the house. This song is twisting Christian symbolism and the lyrics can be interpreted as Eilish praising people who go to hell as it's better than being morally good. (Also, just switch Peter with Patton)

all the bad girls go to hell by Billie Eilish

Denial - KDJIEKAKSNDENIAL? In Putting Others First, Janus is referred to as Denial and now this song? Everyone start clapping for Thomas and his team. Anyway, the song discusses themes of conflict within a relationship, and the denial and insecurity of being in a relationship near it’s end (source: Genius). Also, Roceit vibes?

Denial by The Vaccines

Trust In Me - first of all, heck yeah! I predicted this song to be on his playlist because it's a slimy snake song from Disney? Hello this is Thomas? I think it's a great song and Johansson's voice is angelic. Kaa is manipulating and hypnotizing Mowgli, and if Deceit could do the same you can bet your bottom dollar he would sing this. We love our not-evil snake boi.

Trust In Me by Scarlett Johansson

Razzle Dazzle - Janus singing this with Roman? Yes please? Okay so I get that this is a villian song, and I love that, but imagine Deceit in a shiny sequenced dress? I also haven't seen Chicago yet so I'm going off what I've heard - this song describes how it is too easy to put on a show and make the audience happy. Basically, acting is just professional lying. The line "Though you are stiffer than a girder they'll let you get away with murder" is so clever (no spoilers but he had it coming)

Razzle Dazzle by Richard Gere

[SLIGHT HADESTOWN SPOILERS]

When The Chips Are Down - I hecking love Hadestown so you can bet I squealed when I saw this song. This song is sung by the fates, who are portrayed at untrustworthy. The title of this song is derived from the idiom “when the chips are down”, meaning “when a very serious and difficult situation arises”. Eurydice is in potentially one of the most serious and difficult situations she could be in: her life is at stake. After Hades invites Eurydice to come with him to Hadestown, the Fates appear and encourage her to consider his offer. They tell her that she should look after herself now that she is starving and the “chips are down”. (Source: Genius). In my own words, the fates are convincing (or manipulating if you will) a poor helpless girl to put herself first and save herself. It also mentions how if you be good to get into heaven,you get a knife in the back.

Go listen to Hadestown, it's an incredible soundtrack.

When The Chips Are Down by Anaïs Mitchell, The Haden Triplets

[TW! Abortion]

Mandy Goes to Med School - okay so this song is about abortion, so we'll have to go off context. Mandy (or Amanda Palmer) has to pay for Medical School by giving abortions in an alleyway with a coat hanger, so I interpret this as having to do shady stuff to get what you want. I think him and Remus would enjoy this song together. I'd also like to note that Logan had a song by Amanda Palmer in his playlist... That isn't relevant but I wanted to note that.

Mandy Goes to Med School by The Dresden Dolls

I Put A Spell On You - 50SOG vibes? I really like this song, it has a nice rhythm and the lyrics are so creepy. This gives me vibes of Deceit cornering/pining another side/love interest because if our baby boy wants to be happy, he should. This is similar to Trust In Me because it talks about enchanting someone to get what you want. "I don't care if you don't want me, I'm yours right now." Chills. Janus singing this song would complete my life.

Also the singer calls the love interest daddy but we ain't shaming

I Put A Spell On You by Nina Simone

Evil Night Together - well the title has evil in it so... Perfect for our Evil Snake Boi. This song gives me huge Demus/Receit vibes because it's basically like "let's go on a date in the creepiest place."

What if we drank a drink in the torture chambers... Haha jk ...unless 🥺

Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy

Don't Tell Mama - another musical song? Roman would be impressed. This song is about an English singer, who's mother thinks she's in a convent (a nun), when really she's in a German s3x club. You can really tell why it would be so bad if her secret got out.

Don't Tell Mama by John Kander, Joel Grey, Jill Hawarth, Cabaret Ensemble, Harold Hastings

You're A Cad - definition of a cad: a man who behaves dishonourably, especially towards a woman... This song has a nice beat and gives me TikTok vibes, but it also gives me Moceit vibes (I say vibes too much) because the singer is saying "you're a villain, a cad, a rascal... But I'm like a fish on a hook for you and I still want you." Also, she has a sweet tooth?

You're A Cad by the bird and the bee

As Far As I Can See - all aboard the angst train, CHOO-CHOO "As far as I can see, nobody loves me. As far as I can tell, nobody loves you either" this song gives me such Roceit vibes because the meaning is pretty simple: if nobody loves Janus, then he'll take everyone down with him. I knew there would be that one song that tries to make me cry for our poor baby.

As Far As I Can See by Phantogram

Criminal - first of all, the cover is beautiful. Apple describes the song as “a description of feeling bad for getting something so easily by using your sexuality.” She also told in an interview: "One of my friends said to me, “Oh yeah, of course you aren’t writing.” So I was like, “The next time you see me, I’m gonna have a new song.” I wrote “Criminal” in 45 minutes when everyone else went to lunch because I had to have a hit. I can force myself to do the work, but only if someone is right up behind me." Which is the level of pettiness I see in Deceit and I am here for it. The context of the song is seduction and manipulation, so Janus using his sexuality to manipulate the other Sides is a cursed thought.

Criminal by Fiona Apple

Change - if any of them listened to Lana Del Rey, I sort of expected it to be Virgil. Change shows how Del Rey has matured, and I feel like it also portrays Janus' ability to adapt. "Change is a powerful thing... I'll be able to be honest..." Does this mean he's trying to change? Will we get more character development? LIGHT SIDE JANUS?

Change by Lana Del Rey

Devil In The Details - this song is about trusting the wrong person and taking advantage of something. "I am the first one I deceive if I can make myself believe the rest is easy.". More angst, yay.

Devil In The Details by Bright Eyes

Come Little Children - if you had a My Little Pony phase, you probably know this song. Come Little Children, also known as "Sarah's Theme" and "Garden of Magic," is a song sung by Sarah Sanderson in the film, Hocus Pocus to hypnotize children to lure them. Manipulation: a common theme.

Come Little Children by Erutan

Into The Unknown - I was really shocked to see this song until I realized, no, it wasn't the same iconic theme from Frozen 2. This short song is from Over The Garden Wall, a show Thomas watches but I have not. "If dreams can't come true, then why not pretend?" The show plays heavily on the battle between dreams and reality (source: Genius). The way I see this, Janus is convincing the Light Sides to do something, or specifically Roman to make his dreams come true through selfish means.

Into The Unknown by The Blasting Company

This playlist is one of the best because every song had me saying “Janus would so sing this". If you have any thoughts, feel free to comment!

As always, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals peace out