#I love her and I’m so so glad she’s staying off social media because it’s nasty out here for authors some times

[ninyard]

chewing my fingernails off at “four to six months”

[sinofwriting]

Wait - Ollie Bearman

Words: 4,936 Summary: Ollie Bearman doesn’t wear necklaces, it’s just not his thing. So why during the 2023 Mexico GP is he spotted wearing a necklace with a familiar ring hanging from the chain Note(s)/Warning(s): This is in fact the purity ring fic. It’s a bit NSFW. Reader is Max Verstappen’s little sister. I nearly included lestappen because the idea of both Verstappen siblings dating a Ferrari (or Ferrari adjacent) driver was funny to me, but I didn’t. Also, thank you to all the people who told me to write this. I’m going to go somewhere, but I’m glad I did!

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A ring sits on her finger. The same finger that will one day have an engagement ring then a wedding band to join. The band is thin with two knots and between both knots are four tiny pearls, barely the size of a grain of rice and in the middle of those four pearls is a mix of her birthstone and Max’s. She had gotten it when she was eleven shortly after she had heard Max joking with some of his friends about sex and she went to their mom asking what exactly they meant and for the past six years it had sat there.

It was the first big purchase Max had made with his F1 paycheck. The seventeen year old had felt ashamed and horrified at his baby sister overhearing the things him and friends were joking about. And even worse when their mom had to give her the talk. It had been nothing however compared to what their father had thought when learning of it. Max had swore his ears were ringing as Jos had yelled at him for first having his friends around her and second talking about sex when he knew that she was in the house and liked to randomly join them.

The ring had been a nice way to ease the tension and though he had been a bit red as he explained what it was to her, she had nodded along with his explanation, looking serious before putting it on and then smiling at him and hugging him.

At eleven it hadn’t really been an issue, wearing a purity ring, promising that she’d wait to be married before having sex. It hadn’t been a problem when she was fifteen and her first spike of hormones hit and suddenly sex wasn’t something that felt so far away or like a weird foreign concept. It hadn’t been a problem at sixteen either when she got her first boyfriend, who Max had quickly run off.

It had started to be a problem after she turned seventeen and got together with Ollie.

Ollie who she was never supposed to meet. Was only supposed to know of because she followed F2 and F3. But then she joined Max for the remainder of the 2022 season in July. Done with school and unsure if she wanted to go to Uni, unsure really of what she wanted to do.

She had planned to stay home with her mom, putter about the house, maybe do some small writing for Redline and Verstappen.com that she’d email to Kris, who would send her the money that they got paid for them instead of submitting them herself where Max would be sure to give her a stupid amount of money for something that took maybe thirty minutes to write.

But then Max had heard about her plans and she was officially employed by her brother. Managing his website, instagram, and Redline’s social media, going with him to every race, which meant that she had far too much free time and meant that she found herself following around Jack Crawford as he finished up his F3 season which meant running into Ollie Bearman.

Ollie, who was so unexpectedly sweet and cute, who made all the blood rush to her face as her heart worked overtime, made butterflies appear in her stomach.

It had been the second time that they saw each other that he had asked her on a date and now a year later, the two are now both eighteen and head over heels in love, and the ring that rests on her left ring finger feels more like a nuisance.

She had never had sex, hadn’t even really touched or been touched until Ollie but as the F2 season had grown to a close it felt like that was all that was on her mind and Ollie’s.

The kisses they shared when alone quickly grew into heated make out sessions and when they had time, they found themselves in his hotel room under the covers, underwear still on but hands exploring each other's bodies.

She falls in love with the pattern of freckles on his back and the way he shivers when she traces them with her fingers. The spot above his heart that always makes his breath hitch when she kisses it. His strong calves that always tense right after his thighs when she settles on his lap. His hands and how much bigger than hers they are. And his fingers that he lets her play with, kiss and nibble at just to see and hear the stuttered breath he gives as his cheeks turn red.

He falls in love with the small tattoo that still only he knows she has, it’s small enough to just barely be hidden by even her more risqué bikinis. The scar she has on her knee that makes her shiver when his fingers or lips touch it. The soft skin of the underside of her breasts, because it feels nice to stroke when he gets the chance to dip his hands underneath her bra. The moan she gives when he settles in between her thighs and rests his weight on top of her as they kiss.

Ollie knows what the ring is, what it means, what she promised Max. It’s the one thing that always reminds him to stop, that pulls him back when he’s about to dip his fingers beneath her underwear to feel her wetness against his fingers or about to ask her to take her bra off, to let him see more of her. The feeling of her ring always draws him back. Makes him refocus on just kissing her and not getting ahead of himself before he makes another mess of himself.

He sees it every time he sees her, he kisses it every time he lifts her hand to his lips, first kissing the ring, a silent promise to himself that one day he’ll replace it with a ring of his own, before kissing her hand.

So Ollie doesn’t think anything when he comes home from simulator work to his flat in Maranello smelling like brownies. It had taken a bit to convince Max that she didn’t want to go home but rather wanted to go on a little trip with her friends. She just neglected to mention that there was no trip, and by friends she meant boyfriend, and really she meant during the week break they’d have she’d be going to Italy to stay with Ollie.

“That smells so good.” Ollie groans, kicking his shoes off before moving further into the flat. She beams at him, accepting the kiss he presses to her cheek. “I know you had dinner there so I made brownies. And not a whole pan.” She adds. “I know you can’t indulge too much.” “Thank you.” He murmurs, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back into him.

He starts to sway them both as he stares at the small pan of brownies, the smell of them mouthwatering.

“Can I have one?” “They like just got out of the oven.” He pouts, bending his neck and pressing his face into her neck. “Please?” “You're going to burn your fingers and mouth.” She laughs. “Pretty please?” He tries. She makes a humming noise, one he feels more than hears. “Only if you give me a kiss first.” “Deal.”

She giggles as he quickly turns her in his arms. “Hi.” She greets as she wraps her arms around his neck. “Hi.” He parrots back and the thought of the brownies are gone from his mind as he looks at her.

She’s got a piece of his merch on, one of the sample sweatshirts, but also a pair of his boxer briefs. It’s like she’s drowning in him and he just wants to add to it.

Pressing their lips together, he grunts when her nails dig lightly into the back of his neck.

“Sorry.” She murmurs against his lips. He shakes his head, “it’s fine.”

They stand there for a while just kissing, but then his hands are moving underneath the top she’s wearing, grasping at her hips before fingers trail up her sides before back down and she’s pulling him to his bedroom.

They’ve done this so much that it takes barely any time for him to take his FDA polo off and then his jeans before joining her in bed, settling between her thighs. It doesn’t however stop him from rocking his hips into hers a couple of times before he can stop himself, hunger only growing when her hips hitch upwards and she’s wrapping a leg around him, pulling him closer.

“Fuck, darling.” He gasps, pressing kisses to her exposed throat. She moans, her hands resting on his bare back and it’s the feeling of her ring that makes him stop. Hips nearly thrusting again when she whines, but he tenses his whole body, not letting it loosen even when he kisses her again, swallowing the next whine she lets out.

His right hand makes his way underneath her top as they continue to kiss, his body relaxing into hers as he gets control of himself again.

As his fingers creep up her side, he wonders what they’ll feel. The spandex of her sports bra? The cotton or whatever it is of the one bra she likes to wear to media days? Maybe lace? His mind spins at the last option and he gulps.

She’s only worn lace once and it was on their year anniversary, their first approved sleepover. Though Max had made sure to get her from his hotel room at 11 am. But he considers they have the rest of the week just them together and he doesn’t have to go into the factory anymore. And she made him brownies, homemade. He knows because of the way she had been standing at the kitchen counter, carefully looking at them. So, maybe another treat for him was her wearing lace.

But as fingers reach where he’d normally feel the edge of something there is nothing. He goes to frown but before he can, her chest rises, his fingers graze the underside of her left breast and his hips are snapping into her again.

“Oh my god.” She moans at the feeling. “Fuck.” He curses and he feels out of breath as he feels more of her. “You’re not,” he mutters. “You’re not wearing anything.” She shakes her head, bucking her hips wanting more friction. “Please, Ollie. Want more, want it off.” He should be saying no, he can already feel his control hanging by thread at the knowledge that she’s not wearing a bra, he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he sees her boobs for the first time, but he’s backing away, letting her sit up, and she’s flinging his sweatshirt off.

His jaw drops at the sight, eyes wide and his dick twitches. He sees the way she bites at her lips, arms starting to come up and he’s quick to react. Fingers touching the soft skin, thumbs rubbing at her nipples as he sort of holds them.

“Pretty.” He manages to get out and feels himself blush. “Can we kiss again?” Ollie nods, eager.

He carefully lays next to her, drawing her on top of him, the two both gasping at the feeling of her bare breasts resting on his bare chest.

His hands dance up and down her back, sometimes his pinky fingers dipping below the waistband of his boxer briefs that she’s wearing before moving back up again as they kiss, hips still moving together.

When she shifts a little on top of him, moaning, he grasps at her hips, stopping her from moving as he feels himself twitch and he just knows that he has to be leaking, creating a wet spot in his underwear.

“We have to stop.” “I’m close though.” His head falls back and he groans. “I am too.” “I,” She stops, thinking of the lingerie she had brought with her, the dinner reservation she had made for herself and Ollie tomorrow night, the necklace chain also in her suitcase. “I want more.” She says, before taking a deep breath and meeting his eyes. “I want to have sex with you.” He’s looking at her wide eyes and she’d think that he didn’t want her back if she couldn’t feel how hard he was underneath her. “But,” his eyes dart to her left hand. “I thought we were waiting.” She feels blood rush to her cheeks at his whisper, at the promise he made for and to her.

She had been nervous when telling Ollie about her purity ring and about she would like to wait awhile, maybe even till marriage to have sex, especially after he shared that he had already had sex before. But he had been surprisingly okay with it after he had a few days to think and wrap his head around it, and not that she knew but to talk to his dad about it, before he came back said that he’d wait as long as she wanted.

“I mean, we did.” She whispers back. “I just, I think you’re the one, ya’know. And even if you aren’t, I can’t see myself ever regretting you.” There’s a stinging in his eyes and he clears his throat. “Okay.” He shifts her down a bit so he can sit up, pressing their lips together. “Okay.”

Her hands cup his cheeks as they kiss while his hands stay on her hips. Not moving or doing anything despite the fact that she’s given the all clear. It’s one of her hands dropping from his face to trail down his body, that makes his hands move, grabbing her ass, pressing her down and closer. It makes her gasp.

“Ollie.” He groans at the sound of her moaning his name. His eyes dart to his nightstand, where there should be some condoms in the drawer with lube as well and then he’s cursing, hands falling away from her. “We have to stop, darling. I’m sorry.” “But,” She shifts on top of him and he swears again when he looks down and sees a wet patch peeking out from where she’s sitting on top of him. “I know, but I don’t have any condoms.” He feels himself flush, “I threw them away after we got serious since I figured it wouldn’t happen for a few years.” “No.” She whines, heading dropping onto his shoulder as her whole body sags.

She hadn’t thought about buying condoms, mainly because despite the lingerie she packed and the dinner reservation, she hadn’t actually planned on them having sex. She just wanted more, even some dry humping or at the very least to feel fingers against her that weren’t her own.

“I could pull out.” The words are weak to his own ears. She lifts her head slightly to look at him. “Do you really think you could?” “I could run and get some condoms.” He really doesn’t feel like getting back in the car, doesn’t feel like leaving her, but he’d do it. "No,” she shakes her head. She didn’t like the idea of being alone, waiting for him to come back with condoms. Or him putting clothes back on, the idea makes her nose wrinkle. She then pauses as something comes to mind. “How’s your Italian?” His brows furrow at the question. “It’s decent. Basic and more strategy and car related. But I get by, why?” “I was thinking of Plan B.” “Plan B?” His brows furrow more before it clicks and his eyes widen, “oh, Plan B.” “Yeah, I’d still want it even if you do end up pulling out, but I don’t think that will happen.” He wants to protest, deny, argue that he absolutely could pull out, but it’d be a lie.

“Ollie.” She whines nearly an hour later as he tries to get her to separate her thighs. “You’re all sticky.” He tells her. “I need to clean you up before it dries.” And god was it a bitch to clean up dried cum. “I’ll be quick.” He promises. She pouts, but lets her thighs fall apart, wincing at the burning muscles. He swallows at the sight of their mixed release. He hadn’t managed to pull out the first time, but the second he had managed to, only to finish practically in her anyways. And it was worse because of her own two orgasms that added to the mess. Taking the damp cloth, he carefully cleans her up, apologizing when she whines when he presses a bit too much on her clit.

“Much better.” He grins, when he’s done. Throwing the cloth in the direction of his laundry hamper. “Cuddle?” She asks, making grabby hands at him and eagerly joins her again in bed, slipping the covers over both of them. “That’s better.” She mumbles, when they settle together and he laughs, pressing a kiss to her head.

It’s hard for him to leave when he wakes up in the morning. They’re still both naked and she’s sleeping peacefully beside him. But he’d rather go and get her the Plan B now, then put it off until later when she’ll be fully awake.

Rolling to his side, he presses a series of light kisses to her face. She mumbles a bit and he chuckles. “I’ve got to go, darling.” She mumbles again, turning to lay on her side as well. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be right back.” “Where are you going?” Her voice is low, thick with sleep. “I need to get some things real quickly. I’ll be back in thirty minutes, okay?” “Do you have to?” She pouts. “I’ll be quick.” He promises, bending to kiss her.

It takes him barely any time to get the Plan B and condoms, though he had stumbled his way through Italian to get the Plan B before just pulling up a picture of it.

“Darling?” He calls when he gets back. “Kitchen.” She calls back, a hint of sleep still in her voice. With the bag hanging from his finger, he walks to the kitchen. “I got you plan b and condoms for me, just in case.” “No, just in case. I’d like a repeat.” He grins at her, setting the bag on the counter. “Yeah?” She nods, bottom lip between her teeth. “Yeah.” Bending, he captures her lips in a quick kiss, humming.

“Want to do brownies for breakfast?” His eyes widen and they dart to the counter. “I completely forgot you even made those!” “I’ll take that a yes?” “Please!”

Cutting him a piece and then one of herself, she puts them on a plate as Ollie gets them both something to drink before they both go to the living room and sit on the couch.

“These are so good.” He mumbles, catching a crumb before it can fall. “You say that everytime.” “Because it’s true! These are really good.” Her brownie was a good bit smaller than his so as soon as she finishes her, she’s standing up and retrieving something from her suitcase, ignoring him asking where she’s going.

Sitting back down, she places a box in his lap.

“What is this?” He asks, setting the plate on the coffee table, only a few crumbs on it. “I bought it for you a while ago and have been carrying it around since, just wasn’t sure when exactly I’d give it to you.” He looks at her intrigued, before looking back at the box and carefully opening it.

Ollie’s brows furrow at the thin chain that rests inside. It was nice, very nice, though not by a brand that he recognized. It was also a weird gift considering he didn’t wear necklaces, though if he was going to wear one, it would be this one.

“What’s it for?” He asks. “I, uh,” she stutters a bit over her words, playing her ring before carefully pulling it off, flexing her fingers at the odd sensation of it not being there. “It’s for this.” And she drops the ring she’s worn since she was eleven into his palm. “But this is yours.” “And I can’t wear it anymore.” She tells him. “I intended to wait longer to have sex, but I don’t regret last night and I won’t regret anything we do in the future. It’s yours now and I kind of liked the idea of you carrying it with you wherever you go.” He stares at the ring, tries to ignore the pulse of want and smugness, because he got to have her first and he was fairly certain he’d be her only and last.

Lifting the chain out of the box, he carefully unclasps it, threading the ring on, before clasping it around his neck, the ring resting just below the hollow of his neck, easily hidden behind any shirt he wears if he has it tucked in.

Turning his neck, the sensation of something there is odd and he says that. “It’ll take some getting used to, but I like it.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

It doesn’t take him long to get used to the necklace and he practically never takes it off, only in the shower or when doing certain training sessions and it hasn't happened yet but when he has to get into the F1 car and then his F2 car, he’ll be taking it off then as well.

No one really notices his new accessory, he’s not doing much on social media, his mum and dad had asked him about it and he had flushed but just said that it was something she had gotten for him and lucky they didn’t press for more. It gives a false sense of security that comes crashing down in Mexico.

He’s on a bit of a high for doing his first free practice and not placing dead last even though it’s only free practice and placing doesn’t really matter. He’s out of his race suit, having been able to not shower but wipe himself down with a damp towel before getting back into the Haas polo and jumping in to do more media. And as he does some interviews he doesn’t notice the way her ring that’s kept underneath his shirt is on full display.

But it does come to his attention when he finally gets his phone and sees so many mentions and a strange text full of exclamation marks that has him quickly hitting the call button.

“Is everything okay? I got a weird text from you.” “Ollie.” “What’s wrong?” He’s about to exit the Haas hospitality, he could be at Red Bull’s in about a minute at the strained sound of her voice. “My ring, everyone saw my ring.” His eyes widen and he’s cursing. “Oh no.” “Yeah.” “And they all know.” “Yeah.” She confirms again. “Because Max had to make it clear what the ring was.” She laughs, but it’s clear that she’s on the verge of tears, her voice tight. The sound has him wanting to wrap in his arms, shield her away, but it also has him confused. She never cared about what fans thought of her. She was very much like her brother in that matter. It was all water off a duck’s back. “What’s wrong, darling?” He asks, dropping his voice as someone looks at him weirdly. “I just, Max hadn’t noticed, no one has really. And I don’t regret it Ollie, but that was a promise I made to Max, to save myself.” The last three words come out as a whisper. “And now he’s going to find out because the whole of F1 twitter is talking about it. I should’ve told him.” “It’ll be okay.” He reassures her, but now the realization has hit that he’s going to have deal with Max and not just Max, but Daniel and Charles and fucking Arthur, which is a bit insulting because it’s Arthur of all people, but the Leclerc’s liked her a lot, Charles liked to argue with Max that she was actually their younger sister and not Max’s, which lead to a headache of bickering between the two drivers.

“Can I come to you?” He looks down at his watch even though he knows that he doesn’t have any more interviews, just needs to stay to watch the last session play out since he already did his debriefing as well. “Yeah, do you want me to walk you over?” “No, I’ll be there in a second.”

Meeting her at the doors of the hospitality, he quickly ushers her in before leading her to a back corner, the both of them sinking to the floor, somewhat hidden from view by a couch.

“You alright?” “Yeah.” She breathes, pressing close to him. “I just should’ve said something to Max. I just didn’t want to say anything y’know?” And he can feel her nose wrinkle at the idea and his does the same. Because yeah it was a bit gross to think about telling your sibling that you’ve had sex just so they won’t be blindsided by the media. “He’s gonna hate me again.” She doesn’t say anything and he groans, throwing his head back against the wall. “I just made some progress with him.” “I know, bear.” She murmurs, kissing his cheek. “I could put it back on? Say that I gave it to you as a good luck charm.”

It’s a good idea, a perfect solution for their problem, but it’s clear that she doesn’t like the idea and he doesn’t like the idea either. He’s grown used to the small weight of the ring resting below the hollow of his throat and he’s not fond of the idea of seeing a ring that’s not his on her ring finger again.

“Maybe I should propose.” She jerks away from him like she’s been burned. “Fuck, that’s not what I meant.” He quickly says. “I just I don’t want to give it back. I don't want to see you wearing it again and I just,” he waves his hands around. “My brain was running. I’m sorry.” Her eyes are focused on his and she slowly presses back into him, though she keeps her head pulled back so they can look at each other. “Is that something you really want in the future? To be married to me?” “One hundred percent.” She blinks at the quick response, a smile starting to bloom on her face. “Not now, just because I don’t want to rely on nothing but sponsors and my dad for money, but maybe once I got an F1 seat and then got a contract extension or new seat. I’d have money to help support us, to buy you a nice ring, house.” He hopes that she can’t tell how much he’s thought about this, how much he’s rambled to both Jak and Fred about this even though if either of them got the chance they’d happily rat him out for being such a preteen girl, and he just knows that Jak told Fred what that means. “I want that too.”

Ollie wonders if him intending on marrying her, on putting a ring on her finger will lessen the brunt of anger he’s sure to receive and it doesn’t.

“You defiled my sister!” The eighteen years old both make a face at the Dutch man’s words. “No one defiled anyone.” Max ignores her, glaring at the British driver. “You touched her.” Ollie nearly reaches out for her hand, but keeps his hands to himself, as he gives a tiny nod. “Max, it’s alright. I wanted it.” Max and Daniel both make a face at her words. “Ew. You shouldn’t even know what it is.” “Well, Max kind of ruined that for me when I was eleven.” She snarks and her brother flushes. “Which is why I gave you the ring! You were supposed to save yourself for marriage! Keep yourself away from boys like Ollie!” “What’s wrong with me?” He asks, offended. “You’re a teenager.” Daniel tells him with a shrug. “And you’ve got a dick. That’s all it really takes.”

“What happened to waiting?” Max asks, voice a little quieter as he looks at her. “Max,” she starts and then includes the Alpha Tauri driver who’s inched closer. “Daniel. I thought I was going to wait for marriage, or at least a few more years, but Ollie,” she pauses, feeling blood rush to her cheeks. “Ollie feels like the one.” She reaches out for his hand, intertwining their fingers. “And even if he isn’t, I won’t regret what we did.”

The two older men stare at her, at them. One who can remember holding her just hours after she was born, and the other who got to know her shortly after Max’s fuck up when she was eleven. Both her brothers, one just a bit longer than the other.

Max swallows harshly, the full realization hitting him that his baby sister isn’t a baby anymore. She’s an adult and he’s never really had the right to get mad at her for things she does but he really doesn’t now. He can feel Daniel standing behind him, and knows that the older man will go with him whatever way he chooses.

Stepping forward, he pulls her into a hug and wonders where the time has gone. “As long as you don’t regret it, yeah?” She hugs him back tighter, tension in her shoulders loosening at his acceptance. “Yeah. Love you, Maxy.” He laughs, a quiet thing. “Love you too.”

@arshiyuh @mangotaitai @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @copper-boom @topguncultleader @iloveyou3000morgan @benstormy

[patito-oward]

No I in Team

masterlist

WC: 11.7k

Summary: You’ve just started a new job as a social media manager at Arrow McLaren, and get off onto the wrong foot with your insanely attractive new coworker.

Tags: angst, fluff, smut, 18+

February

This is what you’ve been working for since you were 13. Your first trip to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway was love at first sight. Since then, you’ve revolved your life around racing and getting to every race possible.

You studied marketing and public relations in high school and have now gotten your dream job working as the social media manager at Arrow McLaren.

You’re starting your first day by joining a full team meeting at the team’s headquarters. Except walking around the large building, you can’t seem to find the intended conference room. You’re looking down at your phone, trying to decipher the directions in your email, when you collide with a solid body.

Before you even look up, an apology is spilling out of your mouth. "Oh my god, I am so sorry-" You cut yourself off when you realize who you’ve just bumped into.

"Just watch where you’re going."

"I’m so, so sorry, it’s just my first day and I have no idea where I’m going, the email I got said conference room on the second floor, but this place is huge and I’m all turned around." You only stop to breathe, realizing you’ve run into not only an indycar legend but a now-coworker, Pato O’ward, and have completely embarrassed yourself.

"I’m headed there; follow me." He was very straight to the point, but you nodded and thanked him.

When you walked into the conference room, you found a few faces of people you recognized from interviews and more you recognized from watching the sport. The meeting began, and plans for the new season were being discussed. You were introduced to the group, but mainly to Pato, Alex, and Felix as the new head of the team’s social media.

Everyone was very welcoming, making jokes with you and telling you not to believe Rossi when he acts annoyed whenever you make him do anything. Overall, you had a really great morning.

After the full team meeting, you were set to have a meeting with just the drivers, owners, and a PR team. You had a 30-minute break between the meetings where you overheard a conversation between Pato and Felix.

"Y/N seems cool." Felix's saying your name caught your attention. "It’ll be nice to have someone young running the social media make sure it stays relevant."

"I guess, yeah." Pato seemed unsure and dismissive.

"You’re not sure?"

"She already seems like a walking disaster. This morning she was staring at her phone and ran straight into me, and then she told me she couldn’t find the conference room, and it was right there. And she talks so much." He puts emphasis on the so much, and you take a little offense; you were just trying to be nice. Felix doubles over laughing. "What is so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, mate," He can barely get his words out because he’s laughing so hard. "you just described yourself, that’s all."

"Oh, come on! I am not that bad!"

You’re glad Felix is defending you and seems to like you, but still, you wish Pato felt the same. It’ll make this job really awkward if he��s never cooperative with what you need to do.

Your second meeting of the day goes okay. The team wants you to share a little of what you have planned for the socials and discuss how these things are usually done. Everyone on the team seems really receptive to your ideas, and you’ve seemed to charm the room. You’re joking with the team owners about making the drivers do trends, and Felix and Alex are laughing along with you. Pato doesn’t talk much unless spoken to, and you just wish this day had started out better.

After your meeting, you were free to leave for the day. As you’re walking towards the elevator, Felix calls out to you. When you turn to face him, he begins to speak. "I’m sorry about Pato; I don’t know what’s up with him, but he’s definitely acting off today. Just give him time and he’ll warm up to you; you’re doing a great job already." You smile at him and thank him genuinely.

You really hope he’s right and Pato’s just having an off day. You start working with the team immediately, so whatever has him upset, he’s hopefully over by the morning.

March

Unfortunately, that is not the case; a whole month has gone by, and Pato still hasn’t warmed up to you. He’s in no way rude; he’ll do whatever you ask him to, and he’s always polite, but he’s never been personable with you.

You watch him during interviews and photo shoots, and he makes everyone in the room laugh. He’s kind to everyone, introduces himself to everyone in the room, and immediately becomes the center of it. You can see that he’s an entertainer at heart, and you wish he’d be like that with you. Even in more personal and private settings, he’s still very outgoing.

He’s so loud talking to Fro and Alex that you can often hear him through walls. He has a great relationship with his pit crew; he is so personable with them whenever he’s around them and will ask them about their wives and kids. If you’re ever in a room alone, it’s always very silent, and he answers you in the shortest way possible. Mostly, he’ll make up an excuse to leave the room or call someone in.

All of this keeps making you wonder where you’re going wrong. Rossi and Felix both seem to really like you; you’ve started getting along really well with both of their partners, and occasionally they will invite you to drinks after a day at work. They even tried to talk you into watching the Firestone GP with them in Rossi’s motorhome despite your having to work.

You’ve become friends with most of the team, and you’ve become really great friends with an engineer on the team, she’s been teaching you a lot about the makeup of the car during your downtimes. This job was so perfect, you just wish you knew why a certain driver seemed to have it out for you.

The Firestone GP that kicks off the season was a small letdown for the team. Rosenqvist had the best finishing position in 8th place, Rossi in 10th, and Pato in 13th. The team has been working so hard and really thought that they’d start the season off much better than this.

April

The team has been working a month straight at improving speed for Texas, and they’ve found some. During Friday practice, Rossi and Rosenqvist showed a lot of speed and were 3rd and 5th, but O’ward was still 9th, leaving the team to wonder where they were going wrong with him.

While walking by his garage, you notice a few engineers, including your new friend, and Pato watching his in-car footage from practice. As you watch, you notice what’s going on. You watch for another lap to make sure. "You’re going into the turns too fast, breaking heavy late, and by the time you’ve regained control of the car, you’ve ended up losing time." It feels like every eye in the speedway turns to you in that moment, like you could hear a pin drop in the garage.

Before anyone says anything, they simply rewind the tape and watch a lap. You watch everyone watch the screen as he goes into a turn, starts losing the car, then breaks heavy while getting it back under control. It happens three more times, and a mechanic speaks. "Holy shit, she’s right."

Pato takes the car back out, and in the few laps he’s able to do, his speed has skyrocketed. The speed he has now would have him at P1.

When he gets back into his pit, he’s celebrating with the team all around, and then he approaches you. "Thank you so much! You’ve saved my ass for this race."

"It’s no problem, really.”

Pato qualified for P3 the next day and finished the race 2nd. It's been a way better weekend for the team, and everyone is buzzing with energy.

After the race, Alex and Fro ask you to join them for celebratory drinks at a bar near the speedway. You join them and their partners, as well as Pato, and you all have a great time. You even got some content for Instagram and TikTok.

Everyone’s feeling pretty good and has a decent amount of liquor in their systems when Pato approaches you. "I owe you an apology."

You really were confused by this. "What?"

"Over the way I’ve been acting, I don’t even know why; I think I was just having a bad day and then got too stubborn to admit that I was wrong."

"Oh, it’s okay, water under the bridge." You try to wave it off, as this conversation feels very awkward.

No, I’ve been a total jerk for no real reason, and you haven’t deserved it, so I really am sorry. Can I please just have another chance at introducing myself?"

"You never introduced yourself in the first place."

He looks sheepish. "Another thing I’m sorry for." Holding out his right hand, he says, "Hi, I’m Pato. I’m glad you’re joining the team. I’m sure you’ll make a great addition."

"Hi, Pato, I’m YN; it’s so nice to finally meet you." When you shake his hand, you can see him soften a bit and his demeanor change, and you really hope that everything from the last two months really is water under the bridge in the morning.

You had a week and a half break after that, where you were only required to make a few posts and had one meeting. When you returned to work at Long Beach, Pato brought you coffee. You were shocked, but glad that fences really were mended.

April also held the first practice for the 500, which showed great promise for the team.

May

You and Pato have turned into fast friends. It turns out the two of you really are a lot alike. As you’ve entered the most important month for the sport, you cannot be more glad that things have been smoothed over.

Now that you’re close with all three of the boys, you’re often drugged into content whenever you’re filming it. The boys will often start arguing and look to you to settle it, or when you make them do a challenge, you have to clarify the winner.

Pato will even ask you to follow certain trends he’s seen floating around, and whenever you reveal that in a caption, his fans go crazy.

You don’t just begin to get closer professionally, though; when Pato finds out you’re a fan of the Marvel movies, he gets very excited to have someone on the team to watch them with. During the first week of May, he invited you to come watch Iron Man with him after a day of work, and you accepted.

When you first walked into his motorhome, it was definitely a little awkward; you didn’t really know where to sit or what to do with yourself. He quickly eased the tension, though. "Sit on the seat with the blue blanket; I dug it out in case you’d want it. I always keep it cold in here because I like to snuggle under a blankie."

You laughed at him. "Blankie? Are you five?"

"No! I’m just a sensitive guy who likes to be warm."

"Thank you for getting a blankie out for me too."

"Do you want anything to drink? I have water, electrolit, topo chico.."

"You realize we’re in private; you don’t have to endorse your sponsors to me."

He gives you a dirty look from the fridge and says, "You are so funny. I’ll have you know that I just don’t keep the fridge very stocked, and my sponsors provided all this."

"I’ll take a topo chico, please." You give him a sickly sweet smile from your place curled up on the loveseat, and he brings one for you and one for himself. You place both in the cup holders between you. "Thank you, sir."

"Don’t call me that, it's weird. I’m going to order food, did you eat or should I order you something too?"

"You don’t have to order me something; I’ll order myself food."

"Don’t be silly; I invited you; I’ll pay for takeout." He opens Grub Hub and starts scrolling through options. "You know what the worst part about frequent travel is?" You hum out a response. "I never know what food is good. I have no clue where to order from."

Oh, I know. My family and I used to always get food from this Chinese place on race weekend. Here it is." You pulled up the place on your phone, and you had to call to place the delivery order.

Once the order was placed, you both settled into your spots on the sofa and started the movie. Before long, the food has arrived, and you’re both digging in as the movie plays. "This is the best Chinese I’ve ever had. You definitely saved the day!"

"I don’t know about the whole day; maybe just dinner. Besides, I definitely didn’t save your wallet." You looked at all the takeout boxes on the counter. "I think we ordered enough for a small army."

"Yeah, but it’s so good." He punctuates his sentence with a groan and an eye roll that make your stomach flutter for just a moment; you’re not blind after all.

You’ve always found Pato attractive, even before you started working here, but now that you have the job, you know it's important to keep those feelings at bay. Not only that, but he made it easy to do so when he was constantly icing you out. Reminding yourself of those facts, you redirect your attention to the TV in front of you.

That was the first of many movie nights with Pato. You were at the paddock basically every day, and he claimed he got lonely being alone in his trailer every night, so he kept inviting you back.

For a tik tok, you had Pato and Felix make a list of red flags about each other, in which they both mentioned each other's taste in movies. Of course, the two started to argue about it, and Pato turned to you. "YN thinks my taste in movies is great; we always do movie nights together."

"Mate, I can’t believe you’ve been exposing her to that." He pauses, then says, "Wait, how often do you do movie nights? And why am I never invited?"

"Because your taste in movies sucks."

They move onto the next topic, and you cut that part out of the video, really not wanting too many people to see it, but it does get you wondering why he never invites Felix over instead of or even with you.

Two nights later, at your next movie night, you bring it up. "Patito?"

He groans. "What?"

"Why don’t you ever invite Felix over for movie night?" He looks at you quizzically. "I mean, he’s like your best friend, right? So why don’t you ever have him over instead of me?"

"Felix likes to be doing something. He wants to play a game or go out, which is great and all, but after work sometimes I just like to relax and watch a movie but don’t necessarily want to be alone."

"So you picked me because I’m boring."

He laughs. "Not boring, just easy." You squeal at him and smack him in the chest, but he grabs your arm and pulls you onto him from across the sofa. "Come on, you know I’m just playing."

You’re facing him, and your upper body is in his lap as you look up at him. All of a sudden, you feel way too close to him, and like you’re crossing into dangerous territory. You sit up and pull back into your seat. "Yeah, I know. Let’s start the movie."

"You’re right, I don’t want to be up too late with quals tomorrow."

"It’s May; you always have something tomorrow."

Qualifying for the Indy GP goes really well, and Pato gets pole. The team getting pole was a huge accomplishment, so a bunch of people went out for drinks at a bar 10 minutes from the speedway. You’re out for a few hours, and around 11, everyone decides to disperse, and you begin to call for an Uber to your place, which is 30 minutes away. While standing outside and both of you ordering ubers, you complain to Pato about how late it’ll be when you finally get home.

"Just come stay at mine; you have to be back in Speedway at 6 anyway."

"Are you sure it’s not a problem? I can just Uber back."

"Stop being silly. You’re my friend, you’re never a problem."

You both climb into an Uber and ride the 10 minutes back to the speedway. You have the Uber drop you off at the entrance and walk to the driver lot from there. It’s a gorgeous night, and no one’s out right now.

Pato turns to you, "Let’s go walk the track." You laugh at him, not thinking he was serious. "No, come on, it’ll be fun."

"You’re crazy; we’ll get in trouble."

"Oh, come on, live a little, baby."

The name rolls off his lips, and you’re convinced you may do anything he asks. You’re being pulled by him towards the gasoline alley and pit lane, where you could climb onto the track.

He begins shouting when you get on the track. Calling out just to hear his echo. You pull him to you and put your hand over his mouth. Hush, you’re going to get us caught." You’re laughing as you say it because he’s fighting against your hand.

When you take your hand off his mouth, he looks around the track. "In 3 weeks, every one of these seats will be filled."

"I know, it’s crazy to think about."

"It’s like 300,000 eyes on you, watching every move you make; it’s nerve-wracking but also so thrilling."

He’s still looking out at the bleachers; you’re standing on the bricks in front of the padoga. "We could kiss the bricks?"

He looks down at his feet, dragging his shoe across the bricks. "Nah, I want to save it until I win."

Well, I don’t think you’ll have to wait long."

It’s silent for a moment, and you wonder if you’ve said the wrong thing. "We should probably head back. I have a GP to win before I can win the 500."

You burst out laughing at him. "You’re so cocky."

"Confident." He corrects you with a raised eyebrow. He grabs your wrist, then interlocks your hands. "Let’s go."

On the walk back, you’re leaning into his side with your head on his shoulder and never letting go of his hand. When you arrive back at the motorhome, you’re exhausted. You head into the bathroom to wash your face, and Pato calls out to you, "There’s a spare toothbrush under the sink; I’ll get out some clothes for you."

When you exit the bathroom, there’s a pair of Pato’s merch pajamas sitting on his bed for you. "We can either share the bed or I can pull out the couch, but Elba says the couch is uncomfortable, so it’s up to you."

The thought of being that close to him all night makes your heart skip a beat. "Are you sure you’re okay sharing the bed?"

"We’re adults." He shrugs like it’s obvious. "As long as you’re not a blanket hog, we’ll be just fine."

After you change into pajamas, you get into the side of the bed that doesn’t have his things on the nightstand. As you climb under the layers of blankets, warmth and his smell engulf you. It’s different from how he smells day to day; it’s like what he usually smells like minus the sweat and gasoline. It makes you feel incredibly close to and surrounded by him. Sleep quickly begins to overtake you; you’re vaguely aware of him climbing into bed next to you, but you're fast asleep within 5 minutes.

The next morning, you woke up with a minor headache, and as you woke, you noticed that you were clinging to the man next to you. You’re half lying on top of him and have your arm across his chest and your face on his pec. Despite how comfortable you were, you knew it would be bad if he woke up and found you hanging all over him. You reluctantly and carefully pulled away from him and climbed out of bed. When you climbed out of bed, he rolled over and started searching for something in the bed. Rocky jumped up into the spot you’d just vacated and cuddled up with Pato, which seemed to settle him back into sleep. You quietly got ready for your day at work, stealing an Electrolit to hopefully ward off your headache.

As you searched the fridge for something edible, Pato emerged from the bedroom. His shorts hung low on his hips, and he’s shirtless; even with his bedhead, he looks absolutely delicious. "Goodmorning, sunshine."

He groans and stretches. "Morning, did you sleep good?"

"Yeah, I was exhausted, and that bed is stupidly comfortable.

"We still have an hour until we have to be at work; do you want to get breakfast?"

"I love the way you think."

"Give me five to get ready, and we’ll head out."

You end up taking his McLaren to a small diner. There’s a mural of IMS on one of the walls of the diner and a checkered flag in the window. "I still can’t believe this whole town celebrates like this for a whole month." Pato is looking out the window at the stores, all with flags adorning them.

"This is how I grew up. My dad and I looked forward all year for this month. I could never sleep the night before the 500; I was always too hyped up, like a kid on Christmas. I love this sport."

You quickly finish eating, then head to the track. Today’s the day of the Indianapolis Grand Prix, where Pato will be starting on pole, and you both have work to do before the race starts.

You don’t see him much after you get back to the track; you’re both being pulled in twenty different directions, but you’re able to get a photo of him climbing into the car for the Instagram story and wish him luck then.

The race starts well; he’s able to get through the first lap scrape-free, which cannot be said for all of the field. Around lap 60, he gets hit from behind and spins out; by the time the AMR team gets him going again, he’s in 21st place. The team is ecstatic with the finish of the race, with Rossi winning it, but for Pato, the race went awful. He had really high hopes for the race but ended up in P17.

The team has obligatory celebrations, and you have to capture some content of Rossi for the social media accounts. After all the celebrations are done, you go on a search to find Pato. You find him in his pit box reviewing race footage.

You lightly place your hand on his shoulder, "Hey,"

"Oh, hi."

"Tough race."

He lets out a dry laugh. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Are you ok?"

"Just frustrated."

"We’ve been invited to drink to celebrate Rossi’s win; wanna go?"

"No, I’ll just bring the mood down. You should go, though."

"There are plenty of chances to go drinking with them; do you want to just do a movie night? We can watch a sad movie, so you can’t bring the mood down."

He laughs, which was your intended reaction. "Yeah, you always cheer me up."

You go up on your tippy toes and wrap him in a hug, "You ran a great race today." As you pull away, Kevin Lee is hanging nearby to get a word with Pato. "I’ll see you tonight."

You have lots of work to do, and it’s a job in itself just to be able to grab Alex and take up his time. It’s hours later when you’re finally done for the day and able to escape to Pato’s trailer. He’s already in there and changed into sweats; when he opens the door for you, he looks mopey.

You’ve run to Walmart and bought fresh clothes—a pair of sweats and an oversized t-shirt—that you’ve now changed into.

You’ve been in his trailer so many times now that it’s anything but awkward. You look around at the place; the TV is still off, but there’s an almost empty glass and a bottle of tequila on the counter. Rocky and Norbi are calm in a way they wouldn’t be if he hadn’t taken them out, so at least you know that’s been done. You don’t really know how to comfort him; today was a big loss, and going into the 500, you know it hurts.

"You came to watch a movie, right?”

"I came because you’re my friend, and I know you’re upset. So whatever you want to do,"

He slumps down on the couch in front of you. "I’m so disappointed. I failed myself and the team. I had this race in the bag to win, but I fucked it all up."

You sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You did everything you could to make this a great race. You couldn’t help that you got hit. All you can do now is focus forward on the 500."

He leans back, "I know. You’re right." He pulls you back, and you’re now both reclining on the sofa with heads turned towards each other, only a few inches apart. "You’re my best friend, you know."

You smile at him. "Yeah, you’re mine too."

The two of you are pressed together from your shoulders to your knees. You grab the blanket that’s on the couch next to you and cover both of you with it. You turn on the TV to a show you’ve seen a million times and let the soft noise of it drift the two of you to sleep.

You wake up at 2:00 AM and can barely move from the position you’ve been sleeping in. You gently wake Pato and convince him to move to the bed. When you both climb under the covers, he grabs you and pulls you into him, placing a kiss on the side of your head. He’s clearly barely awake, but you can’t fall asleep.

Your body is buzzing with the feeling of his against yours and his breath on your neck. You feel like a horrible person because he got so vulnerable with you and is clearly just seeking comfort in you after a bad day, and you’re obsessing over it like a schoolgirl. Still, you can’t help the feeling that’s coursing through your body, like you’d be content to stay this way forever.

When you wake up, it’s like nothing has changed between the two of you. Pato feels better and is back to his normal and cheerful self, and your relationship stays what it always was, friends. It’s not that you ever expected anything to change, but for that night, you allowed yourself to hope it would.

A week of lots of work, three movie nights, and one sleepover goes by, and then it’s Saturday and time for qualifying. The team does incredible, all four cars make it into the fast 12. Sunday holds so much anticipation for the team. You’re slammed with making posts to celebrate yesterday’s results along with today’s. Not to mention, every time one of the drivers went out, you stopped everything to watch their run.

After the first run, Pato and Fro advance to the fast 6, and you watch to see who gets bumped. Knowing the drivers has brought a whole new side to this sport for you, you can’t even imagine what it’s like for the drivers who have failed to make it. The Firestone Fast 6 has Marcus Ericsson on pole, with Pato starting 3rd and Felix 5th. You know this is an incredible place to be for the race; to have a spot in the front row is a huge deal, but Ericsson on pole has everyone worried he’ll pull away with a second win.

You have a week that consists of two practices and studying every move Ericsson makes to find his weak spots and figure out how Pato can play off them. You’re posting on social media five times a day to lead up to the race. The Legends Day parade made for incredible content, and you’re left in awe at the people covering the streets just for a chance to be waved at by a driver.

Pato convinced you to spend the night with him after the parade; you couldn’t say no when he pulled out the puppy dog eyes and pouted at you to stay, especially when you never wanted to say no in the first place. It really was easier to stay in Speedway for the night, considering the traffic in the morning will be horrendous, and you sleep the best you ever have when you’re lying next to him.

The 500 lived up to everything it should. It was 200 laps of pure excitement. At no point in the race were you sure of who was going to win, and it left you unable to breathe for most of it. You had spent the day taking photos and videos so you could do an "Admin’s photo dump," and if you took some photos of Pato making ridiculous faces at you that you planned to just keep to yourself, no one had to know.

At lap 190, Ericsson is in the lead, with Colton Herta second and Pato third. You know that Pato will have to pull off a huge move to take the lead; he’s racing against two of the greatest in the field. As they go around turn 3, Herta goes on the outside of Ericsson, trying to make a pass for the lead, but he finds the marbles and wrecks both of them. Pato got by, but others behind him were not so lucky. The four car wreck gets red flagged immediately. The good news is, Pato’s restarting in 1st; the bad news is there are nine laps left, and Palou is right behind him. As the race starts up again, you can barely breathe. After a warmup lap, the race goes green, Palou takes a hard dive to the inside and passes Pato. He has the lead for three laps, and you’re already upset for Pato; you know how badly he wants this. As you’re thinking that, Pato passes him from the outside, and begins to run away with the lead. He leads the last five laps of the race and crosses the start-finish line as the winner of the 110th Indianapolis 500.

You’re so thrilled for him that you don’t know what to do with yourself. You can hear him on the team radio celebrating and thanking God in Spanish. He does his victory lap, and then brings the car back into pit lane. You’re at his car before it’s even stopped, taking his steering wheel from him, and when he gets out of the car, he wraps you in a hug. He’s holding you around the waist and lifting you up, spinning you. "You just won the fucking Indy 500. I’m so proud of you."

"I couldn’t have done it without you."

He’s all too quickly being pulled away from you and being congratulated by the rest of the team. You stand in awe as you watch one of the most important people in the world to you live out their dreams. You watch every part of the celebration with so much pride. You can’t think of anyone more deserving of the ring, the wreath, or dumping a bottle of milk on himself.

When he kisses the bricks, you’re right there next to him, kissing them too. "I guess it’s good we waited for the real deal to do this."

"This was definitely better than doing it just because we could." He has the biggest smile on his face, from ear to ear and reaching his eyes, and all you can think is how you’d give anything to always have him this happy.

It's been hours of celebrating him, and you’re soaking up every moment. When all of your business at the Speedway is over, you both head back to his motorhome to get ready to go out and celebrate. When you get there, he pulls down the fanciest-looking bottle of tequila you’ve ever seen.

"Take a shot with me?"

You scrunch your nose. "I hate doing shots."

"You can’t say no to me, I’m an Indy 500 winner.”

You sigh and give in. "That card works for today and today only." He has poured out two shot glasses, and handed one to you. "Here’s to you, being the best friend a girl could ask for, and the best damn driver this track has even seen." You clink your glass with his and take the shot, choking it down. "Holy shit, that needs a chase-"

You’re cut off by lips on yours. At first, you’re shocked and don’t react. Once you do, you have one hand on his cheek and the other around his neck, and you lean into the kiss like it’s oxygen. It’s easily the best kiss you’ve ever had, you’re thinking everything and nothing at once, and the pieces of the world feel as if they’ve fallen together. His hands around your waist pulling you to him, the way his mouth presses into yours, the taste of tequila on his lips, and the faint smell of sweat, it’s all too much and yet not enough.

You’re unsure how much time has passed when he pulls away, but you’re panting to catch your breath. "Yeah, that’ll work."

"I promise we’ll talk about this later, I just had to do that, and I really need to shower.”

You’re left a little stunned as he disappears into the bathroom. It has you wondering what this means for the two of you, what if it was just a caught-in-the moment thing and he didn’t really mean it?

He is ready to go within 20 minutes, you’ve changed into a pair of ripped jeans and a corset top, and he’s wearing white dress pants, with a white t-shirt and a gold chain around his neck. You’ve put on a light layer of makeup, and pulled your hair into a bun in an attempt to hide the fact that you’ve been in the sun all day. When he sees you, he says, "You look beautiful."

"Not too bad yourself."

Once you arrive at a bar in Indianapolis, Pato walks around and opens your door for you. He always opens the door for you because you have no clue how to open the doors to his McLaren on your own. When you step out, he places his hand on your lower back. "Is this ok?" You nod at him, and walk into the bar together.

The bar is already filled with people, Pato’s family, friends, other drivers, their partners, and parts of the team out to celebrate Pato’s win. Not everyone in the paddock is best friends, but they all get along, and Pato is so personable that he’s friends with almost everyone, so most drivers are happy for his win. Even Colton and Alex, who are surely having a rough night, came out to congratulate him.

You’re able to watch Pato all night, and he’s a different person than when it’s just the two of you. He’s an entertainer at heart, always putting on a show in front of a crowd, but when it’s just the two of you, it’s like he’s able to relax and just be his authentic self. You've been seated with Kelly and Emille for most of the night, not drinking because you told Pato you’d drive so he could party properly. Even while celebrating with everyone, he still checks in with you periodically throughout the night.

Kelly and Emille must notice the hand he places on your thigh or his lips brushing against your ear because they ask you if the two of you have "finally realized you’re soulmates". You shrug them off, figuring they’d just been drinking too much, but then they confess that one of the reasons they invited you to drink so much is because Felix and Rossi were convinced that you two would be perfect for each other. They quickly move onto a new topic, but you begin to wonder what dating Pato would be like. You figure it’d be a lot like your relationship now, but you’d get to have all of him, and not have to hide your feelings for him. The thought of getting to know him more intimately sends a chill down your spine.

As things start to wind down, Pato comes to where you’re sitting, and wraps his arm across your shoulders. The group has moved around your table, and he’s starting to say his goodbyes. Once you’re out to the car, he hands you his keys. "Please don’t wreck my baby."

"Oh come on, you’ve gotta have more faith in me than that."

"You’re the only person besides my papa I’ve ever let drive this car. That’s enough faith."

You turn on the radio, and the car ride back to Speedway is filled with Pato’s singing. When you arrive back in his motorhome, he’s begging you to spend the night again. You, of course, stay with him.

Climbing in bed, he reaches his hand out to the space in between the two of you. "Too much space. Come closer." You’re on your sides facing each other, and as you scoot in, he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you towards him. "Much better."

You fall asleep like that, but when you wake up, he’s not in the bed. It has you panicking, wondering if it was a mistake to kiss him, and even more, imagining a relationship with him. You’re in one of his sweatshirts when you climb out of bed and head to the living area. You find it empty, of both Pato and the dogs. You’re pretty worried now, not knowing where he could’ve gone or why he disappeared so early.

Before your mind is able to wander too much further, the door to his motorhome opens, and the dogs come barging in. Pato has his hands full, but when he sets the stuff down on the counter and finally looks at you, he’s upset. "Oh no! You were supposed to still be in bed. Shoot!"

"Where did you go?" You’re very confused about his whereabouts and his aversion to you being awake.

"I went to get us breakfast, I wanted to surprise you when you woke up. I got all your favorites."

You can’t help the smile breaking out on your face. "You got me breakfast?"

"Of course I did. I know I said we’d talk about the kissing later, but I still feel bad for making you wait," a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

You’re wrapping him in a hug before you know it. "I thought you freaked on me and bailed."

He pulls back from you and lightly takes your face in both hands. "I’m not bailing or freaking. I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, and I can’t stop thinking about you, haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I can feel myself falling for you more each day."

You can see the sincerity in his eyes as they bore into yours. "Pato,"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me again."

A huge grin breaks out on his face as he pulls yours to him. The kiss starts softly, with one of his hands cradling the back of your head while the other stays rested on your face. As it goes on, you continue to push him, your tongue swiping across his lips, seeking entrance. His hand tangles in your hair, and the other moves down to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer to him. He has full control of the kiss, and you, at this point. Your hands are in his hair and on his chest, letting him lead you through minutes of a make out session like you’re in high school.

He pulls away, but you continue to chase his lips. He almost gives in, but he grabs your face and stops you from continuing. "Wait," He’s panting, and you’re pretty sure it’s the best sound you’ve ever heard. "I have something important I need to ask you."

You look at him expectantly and hope he can’t tell how fast your heart is beating. "Will you come to the victory banquet with me tonight? I want to celebrate with you."

You consider it, you know it’s a black tie event, and you know it’s broadcasted; you really don’t want anyone wondering or theorizing about who you are. "I don’t have anything to wear."

"I’ll buy you something."

"I do not need you to buy me clothes."

"Now you’re just being difficult. Come with me, por favor, and let me buy you a dress."

You caved to his begging, like always, and he took you to a high-end boutique to find a dress. As you looked through the store, he grabbed a few dresses to add to the ones you were trying on. He followed you to the dressing rooms, and you modeled each dress for him.

"Pato, I can’t believe you picked this out."

"What’s wrong with it?" His voice is whiny, and you can tell through the door that he’s offended.

You look at yourself one more time in the mirror before stepping out to show him. It’s a rouched pink satin dress that’s all too short, and shows an insane amount of cleavage. Pato leaned back on the seat, looking as smug as ever. "You’ve never looked better."

You give him a death stare, "This is so not appropriate, and so not funny." You’re getting stressed about all of this, it’s a lot to go to this event with him and be seen by all of your coworkers, but even more so by any fans.

He must notice how overwhelmed you’re getting because he reaches out and grabs your hand. "Woah, baby, what’s wrong?" You explain to him everything that’s on your mind. "Hey, it’ll be alright, I promise you. What do you need to feel better about this? I’ll give you anything."

"I just want to find something to wear."

"Ok, we’ll find something, I’ll take you to every store in the state if I have to. You’ve still got a few more in there, yeah?" You nod and disappear behind the curtain to try the last couple on.

Finally, you put on a dress that felt perfect. It’s a floor-length black gown with a slit on the left leg and a deep v-neck. "I really like this one, but tell me what you think, and be honest."

You walk out and stand in front of Pato, giving him a slow twirl. "Wow."

"Do you like it?"

"Wow." You slap his arm lightly. "Estás deliciosa." (You are delicious)

You wrap your arms around his shoulder and sit perched on his legs. "Y estás muy rico." (And you are very hot)

"I think this is the one, but I won’t be able to keep my hands off you all night."

You change back into your clothes, and head to buy that dress. Your jaw drops when you realize the dress is $450, but before you’re able to protest, Pato has already paid for it. "You did not have to do that, I could’ve found a different dress."

"I liked that one."

"I don’t even know how I ended up trying it on, I didn’t grab anything that expensive."

"I grabbed it, you deserve nice things." He kisses your cheek. "Now stop and let me spoil you."

You feel a heat rise on your cheeks, You’re not used to being treated like you deserve everything, but something tells you Pato’s not going to stop doing so.

You spend hours getting ready, but finally you’re at the victory banquet together. He pays for a ride there, so you could both drink and not worry about it. You walk the red carpet together, and he has his hand around your waist or on the small of your back the whole time.

Everything feels so natural with Pato, from the way he gets you a drink without having to ask what you’d like to his hand resting just above your knee. As a host drones on, you lean into him and whisper, "Pato?"

"Hmm?"

"Is this a date?"

He turns to you a little quizzically, and almost looks offended. "What? No."

You try to hide your disappointment. "Oh, ok, I just thought..."

"When I take you on a date, you will have no doubt it’s a date. There’ll be flowers and dinner, and I will pick you up, and if you’re lucky, I’ll kiss you at the end of the night."

June

And a few days later, he keeps his promise. He picks you up from your hotel with the largest bouquet you’ve ever seen. He then brings you to a restaurant in downtown Detroit, it’s easily the nicest place you’ve ever been. He pays for the meal, which was easily $500, and then drives you home. Things with Pato were easy, the date was the best you’d ever been on, and you both spent dinner laughing, and constantly brushing against each other in some way. When you got to your hotel door, he kissed you as promised. Everything with him is still so new, which makes you want him desperately. His hand wrapped in your hair, which pulls slightly as his tongue slips into your mouth, sends a chill down your spine. You lose track of time, and your thoughts are flooded with nothing but him. You pull away from him, but he immediately moves his lips to your neck.

You can feel your chest heaving, "We should stop." even though you really don’t want to.

"This is more fun." You can feel the vibrations of his words against your neck.

"If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I will." Despite how much you want that, you’re still hesitant about jumping into things too quickly with him.

He detaches himself from your neck, and when he pulls back, you can see that his pupils are blown, and his hair is mussed from your hands running through it. "Have I told you how insanely gorgeous you look tonight?"

"Only about 30 times." You stand there smiling at each other for a moment, stuck in your own bubble. "It’s getting late."

"I know. I should go."

"Yeah, you probably should." Except you can’t help yourself from kissing him one last time. This time it’s soft and sweet.

"Now I’ve really got to go before we get started again." He walks towards the elevator, but turns just before heading into it. "You’re driving me crazy, invading all of my thoughts, I can barely function!" You know he’s joking, but you also feel the same way.

"Goodnight, Patito!" You call after him, and he returns with "Sweet dreams."

You spent the next few weeks settling into each other. You haven’t told anyone about being together, and have been enjoying your time in secret. You’ve just decided that there’s no rush to tell anyone, and it’s a little fun sneaking around.

It’s three days before Road America when you and Pato are softly chatting while waiting for Fro and Alex to arrive so you can film some content. You mindlessly have your hands locked together, and he’s rubbing your knuckles with his thumb. You don’t notice the guys arrive, and they sneak up on you.

"Hey, guys, what’s up?" You jump when you hear Felix’s voice and pull your hand back.

Pato tries to play it off by greeting him back, but Felix just bursts into laughter. You and Pato both laugh along with him but are confused. "What’s so funny?"

"Are you seriously trying to hide that you’re together right now?" Felix can hardly get the words out.

You and Pato both share a look before trying to play it off. "What? We’re not together, we’re just friends."

Now Alex, who tends to just watch, joins in, "We’ve known since the 500."

You roll your eyes at him. "Ok, we haven’t even known since the 500."

"Tell that to lover boy because he didn’t take his eyes off of you all night, and we saw the way he was touching you."

Pato’s cheeks are now bright red, "Ok, I wasn’t that bad."

"Like a love sick puppy." Pato hides his face in his hands.

At this point, you’re just laughing, leave it to Rossi to be brutally honest. You pull his hands away, "Aww, baby, don’t be shy; I think it’s cute."

July

Mid-Ohio once again falls on the Fourth of July weekend. Pato did great in the race, working from 10th place qualifying to a 2nd place finish. The two of you booked a hotel room together for the weekend because you end up in the same hotel most of the time anyway.

After the race, Pato took you out to celebrate. You found a place that was putting on a fireworks show and was lined with food trucks. You both got the greasiest food imaginable, and bought an elephant ear. You found a place in the grass and got comfortable on a large blanket. You laid against him as you waited for the fireworks to start and ate your food.

You’re talking about everything and nothing when Pato grabs your hand and then kisses you softly. "What was that for?"

"I think I’m falling in love with you."

At first, you’re a little shocked to hear it, but you can’t say you don’t feel the same. Everything with Pato has been so fast, but it’s also been so incredibly easy and natural. "I think I’m falling in love with you, too."

You feel like a teenager, making out in front of all these people, but it’s dark enough that you hope no one can see you. It’s the most loved you’ve ever felt, you can tell he’s pouring everything he feels into the kiss. You’re lying down on the ground, cuddled together, as you watch the fireworks go off above you.

When you get back to the hotel room, you’re not tired in the slightest. You’re pulling him into you and kissing him as he tries to unlock the door. When he finally gets the door open, he pulls you inside the room, pins you against the back side of it, and automatically asks for entry into your mouth with his tongue.

It doesn’t take long until he’s backing you up onto the bed and you’re falling back on it.

He continues chasing your lips, only breaking away to pull off his shirt. He grabs the hem of your shirt, but before lifting off, he stops to make sure you really want to do this. When you nod your head, he pulls it over your head. Your chest is heaving as he reaches behind you to undo your bra.

You can feel him pressing up against you, and you reach down to grab him as he attaches his mouth to your breasts. It has him pressing into your hand and letting out a moan that has you shivering.

Before you know it, you’re lying together in the middle of the bed, and you’re begging him to slide into you. When he finally does, you see stars. He’s babbling in Spanish, you can’t pick it all up, but you understand that he’s telling you how beautiful you are and that he loves you. You’ve never felt so fully connected to or in love with a person.

Your foreheads are pressed together, and your lips are brushing every time he moves. His right hand is holding yours, and his left is tweaking your nipple.

"Eres la persona más sexy que he conocido." (You’re the sexiest person I’ve ever met.)

His Spanish has you shivering under him as he continuously pumps into you. You feel yourself growing closer as he begins to speed up, and you move your hand down to your clit to move yourself along. He slaps your hand away and replaces it with his own. "Quiero explorar cada centímetro de tu cuerpo." (I want to explore every inch of your body)

You can tell he’s close by his faltering rhythm, but so are you. As he moves his lips to your ear and tells you to let go, you go flying over the edge. You’re seeing white, and he follows quickly after; it’s the best orgasm you’ve ever had.

You’re both naked with a layer of sweat covering your bodies, and you’re curled into his side. You’re tracing random designs across his chest as you both try to catch your breath, and he is placing kisses on your forehead.

"I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy." You’re whispering into the dim room, hoping he knows how special he is to you.

"Me either. Estoy enloquecido por ti." (I am crazy for you)

Things with Pato keep getting better. He took you to Mexico with him during the break between Ohio and Toronto, and you met a lot of his family. You automatically got along with everyone, and loved how close knit everyone was. You only fell deeper for him around his family. He introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend, and told everyone how much he loved you. You’re having dinner at one of his Tio’s farms, and you watch him as he runs around with all of his younger cousins, and you decide that if he asked you tomorrow, you’d run off to Mexico and spend the rest of your life with him.

August

Nashville came, and the two of you spent the weekend partying like it was your 21st birthday. When you came to a bar with a mechanical bull in it, Pato was convinced he could ride it. You took a picture of him, cowboy hat on and arm in the air, and put it on your Instagram story with the caption "save a horse, ride a cowboy". This was the first time you’ve posted anything about him, but you figured it wouldn’t be a big deal because you have a small following made up mostly of friends and family.

The following morning, Pato posted a photo dump of the weekend, and included a picture of you kissing his helmet before he climbed into his car. You can’t tell that it’s you, from your hair or the angle Elba took the photo from, but that doesn’t stop people from noticing. Immediately, fans flood the comments with questions about your identity. Your papaya polo is the only thing that gives people any clue as to who you are. No one really ends up finding out it’s you, but a few people see your story and like it.

You’re back in Indianapolis the next week, and Pato is staying at your apartment. He insists that he meet your family, claiming it’s unfair that he hasn’t met them when you’ve met all of his. You took him to your childhood home for dinner. Your dad grilled steaks, and your mom made corn on the cob and baked potatoes. Your parents knew about you and Pato, and they’d known who he was since he started racing. You were nervous as you pulled into your driveway. Pato grew up with money, you know that most drivers do, and he grew up in a huge house in San Antonio. You don’t know exactly what he makes now, but you know that it’s a lot, most likely pushing $1 million a year. Your yearly salary is a weekend getaway for him. He’s never shown that he cared at all; he gladly stays with you in your apartment with creaky floors and poor water pressure, but you still worry about what he will think of the home.

Your worries dissipate as soon as you walk in the door, and he’s nothing but his perfect self. He shakes hands with your father and hugs your mother, you can tell that they love him already. You eat dinner together in your backyard, and he immediately starts talking racing with your dad. Your dog stares at him as he eats, begging for a bite, and you chuckle when he caves and tries to secretly feed him a bite.

You know that the season only has a month left in it, and the thought of living in two different states looms like a bit of a dark cloud, but moments like this make you know you’ll be okay.

September

The season is closing, and you’re busier than you’ve thought possible. The top 3 for the championship are Palou, Pato, and Felix, so you’ve been insanely busy promoting the last 2 weeks of the season, and planning posts for the result of the championship.

There’s a lot of tension on the team because of how close Pato and Felix are, and either of them could win the championship. There’s also the chance that neither of them would win it, which would stink after such a strong year for the team. You worry about Pato and his relationship with Felix, and you don’t want the fight for the championship to hurt that at all. You can also tell that the stress is getting to Pato, he’s at work constantly, and even when you’re home, he’s studying his previous races or working out ridiculous amounts. You try to be there for him, but it’s hard when there’s no way you can ensure he wins the next two races.

And Portland doesn’t go the way he wanted. He has a 3rd-place finish, which slots him down a spot in the race for the championship and makes it so he needs to have an absolutely perfect run for Monterey.

You’re exiting the bathroom in your hotel room when you notice he’s sitting on the bed, staring off into space. "Pato, are you ok, honey?"

He takes a minute before responding. "There are five days left of the season."

"I know that."

"I live in San Antonio; you live in Indianapolis."

"Oh." You’ve both been avoiding this subject for as long as possible, but you’re running out of time, and it needs to be addressed. You sit down gently on the bed next to him.

"I love you, you know that, but I don’t know if I can handle being away from you that often."

"I know, I’ve gotten so used to being with you that it’s hard to be apart." You know that some couples crave distance, and would not be able to handle working together as well as basically living together, but you always want to be within 30 feet of Pato.

"Maybe I’ll move up here, it’s where the team is based, so it makes sense. I just already don’t see my family enough, especially the ones in Mexico."

Pato does so much for you, and works so hard that you know what the answer is. "I’ll move to San Antonio." You’ll be with him, but you have to be in Indiana frequently anyway for work, so you’d still see your family a lot.

"That’s not fair to you, to pick up your whole life."

"It’s what I want to do. I don’t want to be anywhere that you aren’t, and I’ll see my family whenever we have to work."

He pulls you into a hug that’s a little bone crushing. "I love you, mas que vida." (more than life)

"Te amo también." (I love you too) Your eyes are a little watery, and having moments like this with Pato remind you how endlessly lucky you are.

Pato seems to be in overdrive, his car is lightning fast, and he comes out on top of both practices.

You’re sitting in the driver's room with Pato while he gets ready for qualifying, he’d arrived insanely early, so he had time to decompress before going out. You’re cuddled together on the couch, with his fire suit hanging off his hips, and you’re talking about something other than racing for what feels like the first time in months. Rossi enters and finds the two of you there, "You know this is for drivers only?" You know he’s just giving you a hard time.

"I had to be here, I’m doing very important business." You smile up at him as he begins to grab all of his racing gear.

"I can tell."

As Rossi gets ready, he joins in on your and Pato’s conversation, but not much because the two of you talk so much that it barely gives him a chance. Then Felix shows up, late as always. He grabs his helmet and then hands it to you.

"What am I going with this?"

Oh, you don’t need it? I thought you were a driver now."

"You are sooo funny." You grab a pillow off the couch and throw it at him.

You sit with Pato until you have to go to the pits to do work. During qualifying, he puts up an insane lap that puts him in P1 by over a second. Pato gets the pole for the race tomorrow.

You’re both buzzing when you walk into your hotel room, and he’s immediately all over you. You’re setting your stuff down by the door, and he’s crowding up behind you. His hands are on your hips, and he’s grinding into you as he attaches his lips to your neck. "You’re my good luck charm. I’m gonna take you to bed and show you how thankful I am."

Heat is riding up your neck, and you’re leaning back into his touch. He takes you to the bed and tosses you on top of it. He takes his shirt off, but then turns all his attention towards you. He was kissing a trail down your body as he undressed you. Worshipping every new piece of revealed skin. He had you in just underwear panting and begging for him to do something more. He’s teasing you over the lace of your panties, and you know it’s absolutely soaked.

He finally takes them off and slips one finger in. You’re so desperate that it has you crying out, and he quickly adds another. "Is this why they call you fast hands?" You can barely get the sentence out, but it has him laughing. His hands are good, but they’re nothing compared to his mouth. He’s still pumping into you with his fingers, but he brings his tongue to your clit. He circles it with his tongue a few times, but then sucks on it lightly, which has you crying out.

Your hands are in his hair, pulling so hard that you know it has to hurt, but it seems to only spur him on. He lays his tongue flat against you, and you buck against him as he repeatedly hits your spot. It has you tumbling toward the edge, but you pull him away before you’re able to.

He looks a little confused, but you quickly dissolve his fears. "Want to come with you in me." He immediately crawls up your body, and pulls down his sweats, which now have a wet spot on them, just enough to free his cock. He gives himself a few pumps before he's filling you. He doesn’t give you time to adjust as he starts pounding into you, his thumb pressing circles around your clit.

"Come on, pretty girl, come for me." His words send you over, and you’re coming with a loud moan. He follows you shortly after, biting into your shoulder to muffle the groan he lets out.

He collapses next to you as you catch your breath. Your chests are both heaving when he says, "Round two?"

It has you laughing out loud because, of course, he wants to go again. "I'm afraid I won’t be your good luck charm if you fall asleep behind the wheel because you were up fucking me all night."

"Doesn’t matter. It’ll be worth it."

You do end up sleeping, which is a good thing because you both have incredibly busy days. You've been incredibly nervous all day, buzzing with anticipation of whether Pato will become the champion. You don’t get a lot of time, but you do see him for a few minutes before he has to get in the car.

"Kiss for good luck?" You place an exaggerated kiss on his lips. "What about a quickie?"

"Patricio O’ward!" Your jaw is open, and you’re looking around to see if anyone heard him. "Get in your car."

He hugs you before he has to go, but you whisper to him as he does. "Be safe. And I’ll give you whatever you want if you win." When he pulls back, he’s smiling from ear to ear, and he jogs off to his car.

You were on the edge of your seat for all 95 laps. Each lap was more nerve wracking than the last, and you felt like you could only breathe when a yellow was thrown. To make matters worse, there wasn’t a dull moment in the race. There were six yellows and a red flag thrown in the race, and one of the yellows screwed Pato, letting most of the field pit on yellow when he’d just pitted on green. You felt crazy, with his radio in your ear, tracking his stats for every lap, and counting how long each pit stop took. The whole team was on edge, but you were even more so.

After what felt like 10 hours, the race ended with Pato in the lead. You realized immediately everything this meant for him. This is the year he became an Indy 500 winner and an IndyCar champion.

He pulls into pit lane, and there’s cameras all over as the team runs out to meet him. He’s standing on top of his car, screaming out and celebrating, but then he spots you. He points to you and runs over to you as he takes off his helmet. He’s kissing you before you can really process anything. You grab his face and look into his eyes to speak to him. "I can’t believe it, I’m so proud of you." Your cheeks hurt from how wide your smile is.

"Never could’ve done it without you."

Your kiss was put on national television, and fans quickly put together that you’re the girl from Nashville and the victory banquet, but you don’t care. You are so insanely in love with Pato, and you want the world to know it.

[drunkhee]

lonely beds, different cities ────── ⵌ YJW

pairing: uni student!yang jungwon x afab! reader genre: hurt wc: 1.29k warning !! mentions of alcohol + swearing + vomiting (due to alcohol) , lowercase writing

ft. enhypen members + yujin (ive)

synopsis; you and jungwon broke up as you were going to different universities

long, handwritten note deep in your pocket

‘my dearest jungwon,’ the note began. that was all jungwon had read before folding the letter back up after recognising your handwriting. he shoves the letter deep into the pocket of his jeans as his train made his way onto the platform.

it has been several weeks since you and jungwon’s breakup. weeks of torturous conversations of who ended it and why it ended with your peers. weeks of tears and ice cream. weeks of avoiding each other.

the breakup wasn’t amicable… to say the least. as you both approached the dreaded results day, you both came to the conclusion of a breakup before going into university. it wasn’t uncommon for couples to breakup, especially if they were going to universities hours away from each other.

‘you don’t even want to give it a try?’ you huff at him. this has been the third time this week where you are both arguing about what to do after receiving your results.

‘y/n, we are going to be… hours away from each other. we’ve always been attached by the hip, we’re not going to cope well with this!’ he shouts back.

‘you don’t even want to try and see how it goes? you’re the one who wanted to go to uni far away!’ you yell as he plops onto the couch.

‘oh! so now it’s my fault that the uni i want to go to is so far away! you were the one who said you would be fine with it!’

‘i was going to be! until you pull this shit! i was fine with you being so far away because i know that you going to this university, has been your dream wonie. i wasn’t going to let my selfish needs get in the way of your dreams and i was willing to travel to see you no matter how long the journey. and you pull this shit. i get it now. we should end this.’ you finally say, leaving jungwon before he could say anything.

in dreams, i meet you in warm conversation

‘i love you, y/n.’

‘i love you too, jungwon.’ you smile at him as he held you closer into a tight hug. jungwon gives a small kiss on your forehead as you lay in his small university single bed. ‘i’m so glad you decided to stay close to my uni, baby.’

‘i am too, i don’t know how i’d cope with you being so far.’ jungwon’s replies as you notice a bright light coming out of his window. slowly, your vision was engulfed in white and you awaken from your slumber.

you are back to reality, in your own university room. most definitely not jungwon’s who is hours away. it has officially been 6 months since you and jungwon broke up, not like you were counting anyways. many of your friends have told you that you would have forgotten him by now, but it seems like time sure is taking their sweet time.

is jungwon doing alright? is he eating well? does he have someone new? you have so many unanswered questions, yet no means of getting the answers. you have both cut off all contact and have mutually agreed on unfollowing each other off of all of your social media accounts. you occasionally spot him in heeseung and jake’s instagram stories on how they turn up to lectures almost an hour late or in riki’s who goes up to visit him and flirt with the older women.

you make your way to your university’s café. it was one of many littered around campus, but this one tends to be less busy as its farther away from all the busy buildings. yujin, a girl you met in your course who became one of your closest friends, waves her hands at you as you make your way to her. setting you bag down, she gives you a smile.

‘y/n… you know how it’s almost my birthday…’ she starts, tugging on your sweater. ‘i wanna celebrate back home! i really wanna introduce you and the others to my hometown friends! you can say no!’ she beams at you.

initially, you were really up for the idea, not until you remembered where she’s from. she notices the slight shift in your face.

‘it’s totally okay if you don’t want to come y/n, i know you’re scared of bumping into him…’ as  much as you are scared, a part of you also is thrilled with the chance to see your ex. you reassure yujin that it was okay.

‘i mean, your hometown is quite big. i doubt we’d run into him, right?’

oh boy …

and you've got your demons, and darlin they all look like me

another day, another shot of vodka to start a university students day – or whatever heeseung said. exam week has finally come to an end for the boys, and such momentous occasion must be celebrated at their local wetherspoon’s with cheap pints of beer and jaeger bombs.

well, that’s not the only thing jungwon is drinking to tonight.

as the boys pull up to the pub, busy crowds of university students surround the entrance with the security guard occasionally checking ids for those who look underage. with the boys going inside, they try and look for a seat and ended upstairs – barely securing the table due to the busy friday night.

‘first round is on me boys!’ heeseung yells as he makes his way to the bar, god knows what drink he’s gonna bring this time. last time, he brought out some type of thick vanilla liqueur that resulted in jungwon puking out his halloumi fries.

sunghoon and jungwon watch heeseung charge to the bar as more friends join their table, namely jake, jay, and sunoo.

‘while heeseung is getting, probably the most horrendous drink ever, i’ll order us a round of tequila.’ jay announces as he orders on his phone, unlike heeseung who is probably now distracted by the pretty bartenders. thanks were given around the table as they all catch up with one another.

‘ayo, won.’ jake starts. ‘i heard that y/n is gonna be out partying today.’ he says looking up from his phone to jungwon, who now looks confused. his y/n never really went out, let alone partying.

‘well, uhm, that’s not really any of my business, man.’ jungwon shrugs at jake, beginning to feel uncomfortable that the whole table is now paying attention to him.

‘yo, i’m sorry man. i didn’t know you guys were still not t-‘

‘oh look! tequila shots, thanks jay!’ jungwon cuts jake off taking two of the shots. ‘i forgive you jake.’ he smiles at him before downing both shots. as more drinks were ordered and drank, jungwon was almost at his limit.

‘won, you should chill.’ heeseung advises the younger boy, before getting a scowl as a response.

‘god, i’m fine! i’m gonna go take a piss.’ he mumbles as he gets up from his chair. his view was slightly blurry and wobbly, but he made his way to the toilets. he waved at some other students he recognised before pushing the door open to the toilets to do his business.

leaving the toilets, he bumps into a person. a girl?

‘i’m so sorry, didn’t see you.’ he mutters as he meets the girls eye. your eyes.

‘jungwon?’ you looked at him shocked – not expecting to actually bump into the boy.

before you receive a response, he bolts off into a different direction. he looked at you almost scared and… disgusted? you couldn’t quite figure it out.

silence, the train runs off its tracks

vi’s thoughts;

hey hey!! this is my first written piece on here and honestly idk what to write here LMAO hope u guys like this tho!! (based on sm of the lyrics of tswifts sad beautiful tragic!!)

part two here!

(c) drunkhee 2024. pls don't steal/plagiarise my work !

[oldiesstationlover11607]

🎶Hello, is it me you’re looking for?🎶

Salutations! It is I! 💛! Your favorite yellow emoji! I am sorry I haven’t requested anything recently. I just went to my show last night actually and so I’ve been busy prepping for that and traveling! It was amazing by the way! God it was like I dream! You’ll love it when you see them! Also, the last one shot was so cute and fluffy and I love it so much! When he gave the reader his shirt 😭!

Anyways, my request. At my show, Tyler made an innuendo on stage which inspired this. I was wondering if you could do a story where Tyler has a game where he tries to subtly flirt with the reader as many times as possible on stage. Maybe it could be talking, maybe it can just be him winking at her or something like that. Maybe after he does it one night, fans notice and they explode on twitter or something. Idk. I know this may be a stupid idea, but I felt like it could cute and fluffy if you want to try it! ☺️

P.S. Would you be willing to write for Spooky Jim (Josh’s blurryface persona)? I have possible ideas for that. To me, he’d just kinda be the same as Blurryface, just with Josh. But, you could see him differently (I’m sorry if you’ve written him before and I just didn’t see).

Flirt - Tyler Joseph x Reader

Relationship: Tyler Joseph × Reader

Warnings: Tyler flirting - innuendos, Tyler kissing the reader and being extra

Word Count: 1844 - I lowkey feel bad for these being short but it kinda fits the request prompt lol

A/N: Welcome back bestie 💛 anon! I hope you like this one - Tyler has been so unhinged lately it's been hilarious. I'm so glad you enjoyed your show, I can't wait for mine :) And YES of course I'm willing to write for Spooky Jim! I love Josh so much lol and I can imagine his blurryface persona being so much more heartbreaking considering Josh is such a sweetheart. I haven't written him yet but I'd can't wait to see your ideas!

It had come around to that part of the album cycle again where Tyler and Josh were on tour and for the first time since Tyler and I had gotten engaged, I was on tour with them. We were about halfway into the shows when we stopped in LA for a two night stay. Tyler had gotten up much earlier than I–as usual–to make sure everything was set up and to do a soundcheck before the show. We normally slept in after the late nights with Tyler getting up around 12:00 and I at 1:00 (although Tyler did make sure to bring me food when I was still in bed). After an afternoon of exploring the city, we made our way into the dressing room, waiting for fans to pile in. He scrolled through social media and did some vocal warm ups before sitting down on the couch with me. Josh was sitting in front of the mirror, mostly ready with the exception of his hair, which he was redying. 

“How’re you feeling?” I asked Tyler. 

“Pretty good. It’s gonna be a good show, I can feel it.” Tyler could always tell how the shows were going to go–even before getting onstage–and everyone else around him could tell exactly how he was feeling. He had a calm look on his face, as if he was reflecting on plans for the show. 

“How much time do we have?” Josh asked, leaning back from the mirror to look at the analogue clock hanging on the wall. 

“About thirty minutes I think,” Tyler said, chugging the Red Bull can he’d picked out from the mini fridge. 

“Where do you want me during the show?” I questioned, each venue having a different ‘best spot’ that Tyler wanted me ‘stationed at’. Last night it was higher up in the venue in a VIP section for friends and family, which was cool because he could see me the whole time. 

“Just off stage works best. Debby’s going to be under the stage to help Josh before routines so if you want to hang with her then that’s cool too,” he explained. 

“Yep, I think she’s preparing everything down there now with Mark,” Josh got up. “I’m going to go wash this out.” He pointed to his hair and walked into the hallway in the direction of the showers, leaving Tyler and I alone. As soon as Tyler was sure Josh couldn’t see he wrapped his arms around me  and dragged me onto his lap. 

“You look good today babe,” he smirked, looking me up and down. I could feel the warmth spreading through my face. He always found the best moments to make me blush with his words. I moved in closer so he was hugging me close, my chin resting on his shoulder. 

“You look better,” I laughed, ruffling his hair. He chuckled, pulling me even tighter against him. he nuzzled the side of my head and planted a soft kiss on my forehead, before continuing

“I don’t know if I agree with you on that one.” He was never one to back down from teasing. He continued to hold onto me, gently massaging your thighs as you sat on his lap. Josh walked back into the room, his hair dry and back to its bright red peekaboo color. 

“We should probably get you where you need to be,” I chucked, looking at the clock and climbing off Tyler’s lap. He pouted, reaching his arms out and making grabby hands in my direction. “Come on.” I grasped his hand and pulled him up next to me–his hand staying intertwined with me even after he got up. We walked out of the dressing room and out into the hallway where the boys would usually split up. They hugged, patting each other on the back and smiling. 

“Have a good show,” I smiled, waving goodbye to Josh and following Tyler to the right side entrance. He held my hand as he followed behind the security guard, the sound of screaming fans pouring in through the walls. Tyler smiled widely, his expression practically screaming excitement and adrenaline. As soon as the guard opened the door the noise in the room multiplied, the room filled with screams and cheers, making it hard to even think. He held my hand tightly as he followed the guard, the room around us slowly shifting from the dim hallways to the bright stage being lit by lights and strobe. He stopped just off stage, taking a few breaths before he turned and faced you, his smile still beaming. 

“I love you,” I smiled. He pressed his lips to mine, cupping my jaw and slipping his tongue just inside my mouth. Something was different about him, like he had some sort of agenda or something to prove to me. He pulled back after a short while, gently biting my bottom lip as the music started playing. 

“I love you too,” he smirked, running onto the stage and turning on his celebrity persona. Tyler bounced through his first few songs, running around the stage and acting like his usual self. He was clearly high on adrenaline, with his brain focused on making sure the show ran smoothly. He made his way to the mic at the center of the stage for the talking break. As he began, he made direct eye contact with me, sending a cheeky smile my way. “Is everyone having a good time?” he shouted into the mic and pointed out to the sea of people who screamed back at him. “I can’t hear you. Scream louder for me!” He waved his arms in the air to the entire audience who screamed louder than before. “There you go,” he looked off stage at me and smirked knowing full well what he was doing. After a few more songs he moved to different parts of the arena for Ride where he was planning on getting people to sing the choruses with him. I had decided to sit under the stage with Debby who was watching, helping Josh to get changed for the next song. “Where’s my right side daddy?” I could hear Tyler shout through the speakers. My jaw dropped. 

“No fucking way.” 

Josh laughed under his breath, looking at me with raised eyebrows. “Yep.” As each chorus went by I nodded my head along to the beat and Tyler’s voice. 

“This is not happening,” I covered my eyes. 

“It so is,” Debby laughed, helping Josh into his jacket. The song continued until Tyler got to the last chorus, in the pit. 

“Oh my pit children, you need a daddy too,” Tyler’s voice moaned slightly making my knees go weak. He needed to stop this or it wasn’t going to end well for either of us. Debby was keeled over in laughter and I was mortified. This wasn’t happening. By the time they’d finished Paladin Strait and come off stage before the encore he’d continued to make suggestive jokes. Little did anyone know that each of his little jokes was perfectly aimed at me and as every one landed I got more and more worked up and embarrassed. Running offstage, Josh went straight to Debby and Tyler to I. My arms were crossed as he stood in front of me with a large and proud smirk slapped onto his face. 

“What?” he shrugged, taking a drink of water and jumping on the spot. 

“You know what,” I scoffed, clenching my fists and biting my lip to hide the smile I could feel coming on. I was terrible at being mad at people and Tyler always managed to unleash the happy side of me in the middle of every argument we’d ever had. 

“Yeah I do,” he kissed my cheek and ruffled my hair. With my brows furrowed I wrapped my arms around him, not wanting to let him go. As he rested his chin on the top of my head everything around us disappeared. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest as the smell of sweat and Red Bull poured from his pores. I didn’t care though, he was mine and he’d been driving me insane for the last hour and a half. Fans continued to scream as the end of the Paladin Strait music video played and Josh appeared next to us. I let Tyler go as the intro for Jumpsuit started playing. Josh ran back on stage to his drum kit but Tyler paused on the stairs looking at me. I shot him a wave and he mouthed the words ‘I love you,’ pressing his hands against his heart, ‘I know,’ I mouthed back with a short roll of my eyes before he bounced back on stage. I stood there, heart pounding, watching him take command of the stage once more, his voice raw and powerful as he sang the opening lines. The lights pulsed in sync with the music, and the crowd, already hyped, seemed to reach a new level of frenzy. I could see him glancing my way, just for a moment, every now and then. It was subtle, but after the stunts he'd pulled earlier in the set, I was more than aware. He was still playing his little game, flirting with me in front of thousands of people who had no idea the winks and smirks were meant for me. As the song ended, Tyler paused at the mic again, wiping the sweat from his brow. 

“You guys are incredible tonight!” he shouted, and the crowd roared in response. He turned slightly toward the side of the stage where I stood, his eyes glinting mischievously under the lights. “But there's someone over here who’s got me feeling... extra good tonight,” he teased, his voice dropping a little lower. I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. The audience, completely oblivious, ate it up, screaming and cheering at the implication. Twitter was going to be in shambles after this. He’d never been this bold on stage before, not with me watching from the sidelines. And I knew for a fact the fans would pick up on it. There was no way they wouldn’t. When they finished playing Trees and saying goodbye to everyone, Tyler ran off stage, completely drenched in sweat and buzzing with post-show energy. He didn’t waste a second before wrapping his arms around me, spinning me around in a tight hug. “How’d I do?” he asked, his breath hot against my ear, still catching his breath from the performance. I smacked him lightly on the chest, still smiling despite myself. 

“You’re impossible. You know that?” He grinned, leaning down to kiss me softly. 

“I only did it because I love you.” His smirk returned. “And because I love seeing you squirm like a bug.”

I shoved him playfully. “Yeah, yeah. Just wait till Twitter gets a hold of this.” Tyler chuckled, pulling me close again. 

“Let them talk.” His lips brushed my ear as he whispered, “You’re the only one I care about, anyway.”

//

Requests open!

[marsstyles]

Love Language

Zilla Fatu + Serene Savage (OC)

CW: Mature Language, 18+, Cursing

Blue Highlight: Serene’s Thoughts

Chapter 4

After the show had wrapped up, Serene walks inside the gorilla and is greeted by almost everyone in the roster who were there, applauding on her win tonight. Serene grinned at them and thanked them before Shawn showed up in front of her.

“Congratulations, kid! Well done. You and Fallon put one hell of show out there.”, Shawn said smiling at her, proudly. “Thank you, Shawn. I appreciate that, a lot.”, Serene said, beaming with joy of her win. “We are gonna take a few pictures and videos of you with the title for social media. First, with me then, by yourself.”, he explained. Serene nodded and followed him to the spot where they will be taking the pictures and videos.

After filming short videos for Tiktok and Instagram and taking photos of herself and with Shawn, Serene leaves the gorilla and heads for the locker room. When she enters the locker room, she sees Sol, Zaria, Stephanie, and Shotzi talking to each other before they see Serene enter with the title on her shoulder. They start congratulating and applauding her as she walks over and hugs them.

“Thanks, guys. It wasn’t fucking easy with Jacy and Jazmyn there at ringside, but I’m glad I was able to pull through because it was all worth it.”, Serene said, smiling and kissing her title. Stephanie and Shotzi say their goodbyes and walk out of the locker room, leaving Zaria, Sol and Serene behind. “Zaria and I were close to coming out there to help you, but Zaria made a point that you wouldn’t have wanted us to do that because it would’ve defeated the purpose of the match for you, so we stayed back.”, Sol stated, nudging Zaria who was giving her an annoyed look.

“You know, she didn’t need to know that it came from me, okay.” Zaria said rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest, “Besides, I knew she had the potential to not only beat Fallon, but handle both Jacy and Jazmyn. You should be thanking me since I called it from this morning and had all the faith in the world.”, she assured. Serene smiled and went to give her a hug, “Awww, you do care! Thank you for believing in me!”, she joked, laughing as Zaria sucks her teeth and shoves her off.

Serene walks over to her locker to grab her bag to change out of her gear. She asks Sol to give her a hand with the zipper of her top, then she puts on her bra, before turning around and seeing both Zaria and Sol side-eyeing each other, not saying a word. Serene finds it odd that they aren’t talking as much unless that means they have something to say and are debating on who should bring it up first. As Serene puts on her white crop top and gives both of them a look, “What happened? Why the both of ya’ll quiet?”, she pressed, knowing that they are hiding something from her.

They both look at each other and Zaria motions Sol to go on ahead and spill it out. Sol bites her lip before facing Serene, “Well…we were backstage watching your match and sometime during it…”, she pauses, looking at Zaria to finish the sentence. Zaria sighs, “Zilla came up and watched the match with us too.” Zilla? He watched my match…with them? Huh, interesting. She puts on her black sweatpants and pauses to recollect herself. She is unsure what to say or how to feel about Zilla watching her match, let alone be interested in watching it, especially after the talk they had before the show. She hasn’t told them yet about her interaction with Zilla and is anxious about what he said to them.

She turns to face them, “What…what did he say to you guys?,” she asks, her voice failing to stay neutral. Zaria looks up to the ceiling and thinks, trying to remember what he said. “Well, this is what happened….”

Flashback to backstage during the title match….

Zaria and Sol are backstage, watching the title match on the monitor and discussing how the match is going with Serene fighting off not only Fallon, but Jacy and Jazmyn. “You don’t think we should run out there and help her?”, Sol asked, worried about her friend fighting 3 people at once during the match. Zaria shook her head, “As much I would love for us to run out there and help her, she needs to do this on her own. She will probably be more upset at us for helping her than losing the title on her own.”, she reassured. Sol sighed and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. I still think Ava should’ve had everyone banned from ringside though. It would’ve been easier for Serene to beat Fallon without those two in the way.”, she said, as she sees Serene push out of the pin to break the count.

Zaria nodded in agreement. Just as she was about to comment about one of Serene’s moves, a voice interrupted her, “F’real. She should’ve banned them. But knowing Serene, she got it. She’s always up for a challenge no matter what. She a beast!”, a male voice reassured. Both Sol and Zaria turned to their left and see Zilla standing next to them, watching the monitor attentively, with his arms crossed over his chest. “Damn, girl. Didn’t know you could move like this. You really have improved since the last time.”, he whispered to himself, not aware that Sol was able to catch what he said. He looks at them and puts a hand out towards them, “I don’t know if we had a chance to meet earlier, Zilla Fatu.”, he greeted with a smile. Both women shook his hand and introduced themselves to him, then they looked back at the monitor.

Sol gave Zaria a quick glance and wiggled her eyebrows at her, mischievously. Zaria gave her a questionable look before Sol looked back at Zilla and broke the awkward silence, “Yeah, she is. Did you know her? Like, prior to coming here?”, she asked, even though she knew the answer, she didn’t want him to know that for Serene’s sake. Zilla looked at them and scoffed with a smirk, “Yeah, I did. We go way back. We didn’t wrestle in the same wrestlin’ school due to her bein’ in New York and me in Houston, but we met at a show in New York. She was wrestlin’ in a match that night…”, he paused as if something derailed him from what he was saying before he shook his thoughts away and continued, “…and I got to see how she worked in the ring. Even though she wasn’t as good as she is now, I knew she had the potential for greatness.” As he was looking at the monitor just at the moment when Fallon pushed Serene out of the pin and Serene kicked Jacy through the ropes. Zilla chuckled watching her, while Zaria and Sol silently looked at each other as if they were having a conversation through their minds about what they had just heard from Zilla.

A grin slowly formed on Sol’s face while Zaria shook her head, but smirked as well. Knowing what they know now about the little past Serene had told them and getting little bit more information from Zilla, they noticed how he spoke about her and how his face changed from a mugged, tough expression to a softer expression.

As they see Serene grab Fallon and body slam her on the mat to position herself to do the submission on Fallon, Sol and Zaria grab each others hands with Sol jumping with excitement as they see Fallon attempting to fight out of the submission. Fallon was trying her best to fight off the hold, but Serene was gripping her chin and her arm back with all her strength to prevent Fallon from getting released. Fallon fails the attempt to fight against the submission and taps out on Serene’s hand and the bell rings.

Sol and Zaria cheered and applauded along with Zilla, who had the biggest grin on his face and was applauding loudly. “Yessir! Let’s go, ma! That’s how you do it! Hello!”, he said, pumped to see Serene win her match. Sol turns to Zaria, “We should go meet her in the gorilla and wait until she comes to congratulate her.”, she said, eagerly. “Zilla, you want to come with us?”. Zilla looked down, thinking about whether or not it was a good idea to accept the invitation. After a moment of silence, Zilla shook his head, “Nah, ya’ll go ahead. Imma head out right now. It was nice meeting yall.”, he said abruptly and starts walking away from them.

They were shocked with his answer as they thought he would have liked to see and congratulate her, but they shrugged at each other and started walking down the hallway before they hear a voice say, “AYO, wait!”. Both women stopped in their tracks and walked back to where they see him standing in the hallway. “Actually, where ya’ll staying at?”, Zilla asked. Zaria tells him the hotel name as he pulls out his phone and searched the name on google to get the directions to it. “You’re not staying in the same hotel as us?”, Sol asked, curiously. Zilla shook his head as he puts his phone away in the pocket of his jeans, “Nah, I’m stayin’ at a different hotel since the hotel that yall are stayin’ in was booked. Luckily, the hotel is not far from mine.”, Zilla explained, with a sly grin on his face.

“Are you going to tell us why you wanted the name of the hotel? Is it to speak with a certain someone?”, Zaria hinted, smirking at him and crossing her arms.

Zilla put his hand behind his head and starts rubbing it, feeling embarrassed about them catching onto what he plans to do. “Um, all you need to know is just tell her that imma stop by her hotel room. By the way, yall know what her room number is?”, Zilla asked, hopeful that they will help him out.

Sol looked back at Zaria who was behind her and she shrugged. Sol looked back at Zilla and pursed her lips, not knowing what to do. “Are you going to try and talk to her?”, Sol asked cautiously.

Zilla nodded, “Yeah, thats all im gonna do. I def need to talk to her, nothin’ more. May I have her room number, please?”, he pleaded. Sol pauses and thinks for a moment, before she tells him her room number. Zilla grins that show one of his grills and thanks them for the help before walking away.

After he walks away and is far away from where they are, Zaria shook her head and turns Sol around. “You know she’s gonna kill you when she finds out that you told him her room number.”, Zaria expressed, unimpressed with Sol helping Zilla. Sol waved her off and put a hand on her hip, “She’ll be fine. I’ll let future me deal with the consequences, but she will thank me later, trust me.”, she stated. “Besides, I’m not going to be the only one she will be mad at when you’re the one who told him the name of the hotel without skipping a beat.”. Just as Zaria was going to respond back, Sol sees Stephanie and Shotzi walking towards them after coming out of the gorilla.

Shotzi spotted them at the end of the hallway, “What are you guys still doing there? Aren’t you going to go and congratulate Serene?”, she asked curiously. “We were, but she’ll probably head to the locker room after she’s done taking pictures and other things, so we can congratulate her in there. But for now, we have to tell you guys about something that just happened 25 minutes ago.”, Sol said, eagerly wanting to tell them about their interaction with Zilla Fatu. “Ooooh, interesting. Let’s go to the locker room.”, Shotzi suggested, eagerly. They all agreed and started walking towards the locker room.

“And that’s how you saw us when you walked in here. We were telling Stephanie and Shotzi about what happened. He told us that he wanted to meet you at your hotel room.”, Zaria said, after explaining what happened with Zilla backstage.

Serene stood there, in disbelief, with her arms crossed, not knowing what to say. After standing there in silence for a while, Serene swats Sol’s arm. “OW! What was that for?”, Sol exclaimed, grabbing her arm on the spot where Serene swatted at her.

Serene gave her a look, “Be fucking for real Sol. You know damn well why I hit your arm.,” Serene said, annoyed with Sol and the antics that she pulled, “Why would you give Zilla my hotel room number? I really don’t wanna see him. Especially, not tonight.”, she said, pointing at her title.

“Hey, I wasn’t the only one. Zaria was the one who told him which hotel we’re staying at!”, she blurted, pointing at Zaria. Serene lowered her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. Imma get these bitches one day, she thought. Zaria gave Sol a grim look and swatted her too. “OW! What the hell?!”, Sol exclaimed. “That’s for saying that it was me that told him about the hotel.”, she said begrudgingly.

“Well listen, if I was going down, I was definitely taking you with me.”, Sol said, in pain from the swatting she got from both women. Serene took a deep breath, before looking up at them, disappointingly. “I can’t believe ya’ll did that to me. Even after everything I told you about him and our past, ya’ll still went ahead and just fed him shit to help him see me again.”, Serene said.

“Now hold on just for one sec. Weren’t you the one smiling over him when we saw his debut tonight?”, Zaria asked, pointing out how Serene was acting earlier.

As Serene grabs her sweater out of the bag, she pauses and closes her eyes. Crap. Not Zaria clocking my shit right now. Now I definitely going have to try my best to deny. “No, I wasn’t. I don’t know what you are talking about.”, Serene mumbled timidly, trying to keep her voice steady and not be obvious that she was freaking out internally, as she puts her jacket on.

Sol grabs Serene’s arm to turn her around to face them, “Oh nuh uh, you are not getting away with this. You are going to tell us why you were smiling over him and why all of a sudden he wants to meet you in your hotel room?”, Sol demanded, waiting for Serene to spill about what happened to her and Zilla prior to the show.

Serene looked at them, then groaned in defeat, knowing that she can’t keep it from them any longer. She yanks her arm out of Sol’s grasp and says, “Fine! I’ll tell you, but can I tell you on our way out? I’m ready to get out of here and head back to the hotel. I need a nice shower.” Desperately trying to get out of the suffocation she feels in the locker room, she grabs her title and puts it over her shoulder, quickly makes her way to the door.

As she reaches for the door, she turns around to them and asks, “Well, aren’t ya’ll coming?” Zaria and Sol grinned and nodded as they grab their bags and suitcases before walking up to where Serene was. They walked out of the locker room as Serene starts telling them about her interaction with Zilla.

Author’s note: Sorry ya’ll that i didn’t post this chapter right after the last chapter because it’s been a crazy few days and WE JUST LOST TIKTOK😭😭😭😭😭. I’ll post chapter 5 in a few days. Take care ya’ll 💜.

Divider designs: @diviniyae and @dailyramona

[cameronspecial]

Thorn In My Side, Rose In My Hand (Part 14)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings:  Swearing and Bad Parenting

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 3.4K

Summary: Taking care of Sparky should be a breeze, but it can't be with sabotage in the mix. University acceptances can be exciting if you actually get in.

Masterlist

The cold breeze of the late winter air nips at Rafe and Y/N’s ears as they sit on the sand near the water. They love spending time together on the beach after school and with the busy day Y/N just had, sitting on the quiet beach is the perfect cure for her stress. The conversation between the two is very sparse because they are enjoying the calmness of the water. She rests her head on his shoulder and lets out a sigh. “Hey, you know how I’m going to my grandparents’ house this weekend?” she asks. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss you like hell while you are gone. It’s gonna be the longest we are apart since we started dating.” 

“True. Well, I need you to watch Bubba while I’m gone. Mami and Pop Pop’s live-in nurse is allergic to dogs so I can’t take him.”

“Of course, he’s my baby too. I would be more than glad to watch him. Just drop him off before you go.” 

“Thank you! He’s going to be so excited for the weekend with Daddy.” 

Rafe smiles at the excitement displayed across Y/N’s face even though she isn’t the one staying over at Rafe’s house. “You do realize that Sparky is the one staying over, not you right?” “Yes, I know. I’m just happy thinking about how happy he is going to be,” Y/N explains, looking up at him with big doe eyes. “Aww, you are so cute. Like mother, like son.” 

——

Sparky was dropped off yesterday afternoon with a very tearful Y/N. She was very hard to pull away from the pup but eventually, Mason bribed her away with ice cream and the reminder of being able to Facetime him. That night Rafe was incredibly jealous of Sparky as he watched the puppy hoard all of her attention on the call. 

Now, waking up to the licks of a slobbery tongue on his cheek, he slowly rises from the bed. With blurry eyes, he sees a hot pink object on Sparky’s head. He quickly rubs the grogginess out of his to get a better look at the pink bow now on his son’s head. In addition to the bow, the dog is now wearing a feathery blue boa and children's dress-up shoes that are too big. Sparky still has a dopey smile on his face as he pants with his tongue out even if his new outfit looks uncomfortable. “Aww, Bubba. Which one of my sisters did this to you?” The puppy gives him a tilt of the head in question and then barks at his father. Rafe has no time to pick up Sparky before he runs out of the room again. 

He follows Sparky to the living room, where Wheezie and Sarah are both waiting for the pup’s return. “Oh no, Sparky. You’ve woken up the grouch lord,” Sarah jokes, giving Sparky the belly rubs he begs for. Rafe shakes his head at his sister, “What have you done to him?” Wheezie looks at her brother with a massive smile. “Aww, come on. Look at him. He loves it.” Rafe shakes his head and pulls out his phone. “No, he just loves the attention. But I’m going to have to take a picture of this or else Y/N is going to kill me. Say cheese,” he says, snapping a quick picture of them. The siblings settle on the couch in the living room, scrolling on social media and giving Sparky some pets. 

“Ooh, Rafe. We should have Sparky make one of these for Y/N. She would love it,” Sarah suggests. She shows him her phone which shows a dog licking a peanut butter-covered Ziploc bag that has a canvas and paint inside of it. The video ends by showing the final result of a canvas smeared with paint thanks to the pooch. Rafe knows that Sarah is absolutely correct and nods his head. The trio gets the supplies needed and pours purple, blue and pink paints into the bag. They take multiple pictures while Sparky creates his masterpiece and then use dog-safe ink to press Sparky’s paw print on the bottom right corner of the canvas once the canvas was dried. 

——

The rest of the Cameron siblings' Saturday was spent having some much-needed time together while they watch movies. It was peaceful and fun; however, their Sunday will not be spent in the same manner as the day before. Rose and Ward have finally made their way back to Tannyhill after a week-long work trip that Sunday morning. Rafe forgot that fact and so he hadn’t told his father about bringing home the dog. Ward is not stupid though. He is able to put two and two together when Sparky runs up to the man. He knew Y/N and Rafe had saved the puppy and she is away from home. It’s not that Ward hated Y/N. She is a perfectly polite, nice, and sweet girl. Nothing is wrong with that, but the person Rafe is turning into because of her is not a change Ward exactly likes in his son. Ward has plans for his son and Y/N was inspiring Rafe to start to think for himself. Ward could not have this happening. 

Rose ignores the begging dog and makes her way upstairs while Ward stays by the front door with Sparky. The door behind him is closed, but he doesn’t miss the way Sparky divides his focus between the man in front of him and the door behind the human. An idea pops into Ward’s brain, which indeed shows how awful he is. Ward opens the door and doesn’t hold Sparky back as he darts out the door away from view. He slowly leaves the front door open and makes an effort to shut the door loudly. “Shit, Rafe! You left the front door open and now Sparky got out,” Ward yells, making his way toward his son’s room. Rafe bolts up from his bed at the words his father says and quickly gets clothes on. He rushes downstairs swearing all the way down. He makes his way outside without even stopping to say hello to his dad or put his shoes on. 

“SPARKY, SPARKY. COME BACK. PLEASE, BUBBA. COME BACK,” Rafe pleads, going up and down the street. Ultimately, his yelling wakes up his sisters and they come out to help him search. After an hour of searching without his shoes, Sarah is finally able to convince Rafe to take a break and go back home. “Come on, Rafe. Why don’t we go back home and get something to eat? Then we can take your car and look for him somewhere farther. Wheezie can make posters and we’ll call Topper and Kelce to help her put them up everywhere. We’ll find him, I promise,” Sarah reasons, guiding her crying brother back home. Rafe hangs his head lowly and whispers, “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” 

He refuses to eat anything with his sisters. Instead, he decides to post all over social media for help with looking for the dog and then assembling some of Sparky’s stuff that might help them find him. He made sure to hide his social media from the twins for now, not wanting them to cut their visit short to help with looking. Once Topper and Kelce are over to help Wheezie, Rafe and Sarah make their way to his jeep to look for the dog. “Don’t worry, man. We are going to find him,” Topper reassures. Rafe shrugs off Topper’s hand on his shoulder and continues towards his car. 

——

After hours and hours of searching, the search party had no luck in finding the dog and Rafe makes his way defeatedly home. Sarah is passing by her brother’s room when she hears his loud sobbing through the closed door. She knocks on the door and comes in when welcomed inside. “Hey, are you okay?” She sits beside him on the bed but leaves some distance between her brother and her. He looks at her with tearful eyes, no longer bothering to hide his tears from people. “No. How can I be so irresponsible? Not only is Sparky alone and can get hurt, but what happens if someone else saw the open door? They could’ve stolen from the house or worse, hurt you or Wheezie. God, I don’t even know how I’m going to tell Y/N. She trust me with him and now he’s gone. She’s going to hate me.”

“You are not irresponsible. I’m pretty sure you did close the door last night. And she’s not going to hate you. We are going to find him and everything is going to be okay.” 

“We might find him, but we definitely can’t before she comes back home in like thirty minutes.” 

“I know, I know. But it’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Sarah wraps her arm around her brother’s neck and rests his head against her shoulder to give him some comfort. 

——

When the Y/L/Ns get home around 8 o’clock that night, they are surprised to be met by barks and a small blur running toward them. Sparky jumps into Y/N’s arms and starts licking her face. “Woah, Bubba. Look how big you got. Where’s Daddy? I don’t see his car anywhere.” Y/N looks around and doesn’t find Rafe, which causes her brows to knit together. “How did you get here?” At that moment, Mason comes up behind his sister with a paper in hand. He shows her the missing dog poster he found, “I think this might explain it.” Y/N comes to an understanding and asks to borrow Mason’s car to go see Rafe. 

Rafe sits by the door waiting for Y/N to pick up Sparky and for him to deliver the bad news. He opens the door at the knock and is shocked to see Sparky in her arms. “Missing something?” she teases, she can see the stress on his face and wants to ease it. Rafe wraps the both of them in a big hug, “Thank god he is alright. Where did you find him?” 

“He was waiting for us when we got home. How long has he been lost? How come you didn’t tell me?”

“Since this morning. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think I was irresponsible. My rose, I swear I was out looking for him all day but Sarah told me we should go home. It was an accident, I really did think I closed the door last night.”

“Cameron, Cameron. Calm down. It’s okay, now. We know where he is and he is safe. You could’ve told me, I wouldn’t have thought that. Sometimes mistakes happen. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally left the door open when getting stuff from the car and him not in his crate. Why do you think I got faster at running? Why don’t you get him something to eat while I go to the bathroom?”

“Okay, I can do that. I’m glad you are both back. I missed you guys.” 

Rafe takes the pup into his arms, giving his girlfriend a kiss on the lips during the exchange. He makes his way to the kitchen, while Y/N goes to Rafe’s bathroom upstairs because she feels more comfortable there. As she is heading towards the kitchen, she passes by Ward’s office and hearing the mention of Sparky piques her interest. 

“Of course, I let Sparky out, Rose. If Y/N thinks Rafe is reckless, then maybe she’ll break up with him. It’s what we want anyway. Lord knows he would never break up with her.”

“You’re right, but what are you going to do when the kids find out that you are the one who let Sparky out? Rafe is going to be furious at you. He’s been looking all day for that dog.”

“I’ll talk some sense into him. Remind him of the plan and how if Y/N breaks up with him it would help him get back on track with it.”

Y/N could not believe what she was hearing. She knew Ward wasn’t the biggest fan of her dating Rafe, but she could not fathom the thought of Ward purposefully endangering an innocent puppy just to get rid of her. She would not just stand there and let Ward speak about her relationship like it was an obstacle he had to defeat. Even if it fed into her small worry of Rafe making a decision based on their relationship only to regret it. “How sad of a person do you need to be to be so involved in breaking up your son’s healthy relationship? To put a guiltless creature at risk of being lost forever or getting hit by a car? I would argue more with you about this, but honestly, I don’t think about you enough to want to spend my time talking to you anymore,” she asserts, making her way back downstairs to her boys. 

Although she didn’t want to have many words with the older Cameron, Rafe is not about to let his father go scout free this time. He tells Y/N to go back home with Sparky and all of his stuff, and Rafe will meet her there after he talks to his father. He also needs to pack some bags because he will be staying at her house indefinitely. “Why in the world would you let Sparky out of the house on purpose? You know how worried I was about him? What would you have done if he got hurt?” Rafe starts ranting while barging into his dad’s office. “And I want you to stop interfering with my life. Y/N is not forcing me to do anything I don’t want to and I want my plan to involve the possibility of England. You are going to learn to accept these changes and my relationship or else you are going to lose me forever.” 

Not bothering to stay to listen to anything his dad has to say, he storms out of the room and towards his car. 

——

As promised, Rafe has been staying over at Y/N’s house for the past three weeks. Marvin and Cassie were completely okay with the arrangement as they know just how bad Ward has gotten. However, Mason is getting a little tired of seeing his best friend every single day. He loves the man, but he is only used to having a sister, not a brother. Rafe has run out of his own clothes and somehow Mason’s closet has become a shared one with Rafe. His favourite pre-workout is being used ten times as fast with the extra person using it and whenever Y/N is away, Rafe wants to spend all his time with Mason. He is starting to feel as if he is the one in a relationship with Rafe. 

Mason has finally reached his limit when he sees Rafe eating the last of his peanut butter ice cream. “Dude, come on. Can’t you eat Y/N’s ice cream?” Mason complains. Rafe shrugs his shoulders, “Sorry. But you know how cranky she can get if she doesn’t have ice cream and also she doesn’t like peanut butter. It’s not a big deal. I can get some more when Y/N comes back from Sparky’s walk.” 

“It’s not a big deal? It’s not a big deal? Well, it is because I am tired of feeling like I’m the one dating you. I’m tired of not having any clothes I like that are clean or any more protein powder or time alone! God, you are so clingy!”

“Woah, man. I really am sorry. I didn’t know you felt that way. I’ll just get Sarah to bring over some more of my stuff and get my own pre-workout. And if you really don’t want to hang out, you can just tell me.”

“Oh, really? I thought you would fight back more against that.”

“Yeah, of course. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.” 

“I see, cool.” 

Their conversation is interrupted by Y/N rushing into the room, moving toward her laptop on the kitchen counter. “Woah, who pulled the fire alarm?” Mason teases. Y/N doesn’t answer, too focused on whatever she is doing on her laptop. They can see her quickly scanning the words on the screen then she lets out the loudest scream possible. Rafe quickly shoots up from his chair, preparing to fight off the reason for her scream when she jumps into his arms. “I got in! I got in! I’m going to Oxford.” At the news, Rafe and Mason start screaming with her. Y/N get down and they all jump in a huddle like schoolchildren. “Go check your laptop! Maybe, they sent yours too,” Y/N urges Rafe. 

They all watch over Rafe’s shoulder as he logs into his account. Y/N reads the first line: We are sorry to inform you Mr. Cameron that you have not been accepted to Oxford’s Economics and Management course. “Oh, Cameron. I’m so sorry. It’s okay though, you still have a lot more unis in the UK that you applied to,” Y/N tries to cheer him up. Rafe nods in agreement, “Yeah, definitely. It’s not like we would be going to the same college if we went to school in the States anyways. The only thing that really matters is that you got into the Oxford program you wanted. And you did. I’m so proud of you, my smart girl. I knew you could do it. Y/N’s cheeks redden at his praise and she hides her face in his neck. “Come on, let’s celebrate my good news.” 

——

Each rejection letter Rafe receives from a UK university causes him to feel more and more disappointed. Rafe and Y/N would not admit to each other that they both really grew attached to the idea of both of them moving to the same country. Sure they wouldn’t be in the same school still, but travel within the UK is a lot smaller than travelling across the Atlantic. When the final rejection letter from the University of Bath came, Rafe will have no choice but to go to UNC like his father wanted. Y/N is trying to pretend it does not bother her because she is the one who insisted he doesn’t need to go to the UK with her, but she is slowly starting to become more hesitant about such a long distance. She would never tell Rafe though. 

What didn’t help her with this feeling is the countless amount of TikToks that are taunting her. TikTok obviously knew she is going to university because ever since she started applying to schools, the app has been showing her videos related to university. “GRWM to go to my uni class.” “Things you can get for free at x university.” “What to bring and not bring to your university dorm.” And finally, “Things I wish I knew in Freshmen year”. Almost every single one said that they wished they didn’t bring a high school relationship to university, especially if it is long distance. It makes Y/N feel more and more nervous about going to university. She knows she would never regret being with Rafe through university, but what about Rafe? He has always been a social butterfly and she just doesn’t match him on that level. He wouldn’t cheat on her that is not in question, but she doesn’t want him to hold back on college experiences for her. 

She knows he would stay away from parties just to be able to call her. He would refrain from joining any clubs that would interfere with the possibility of interacting with her. She does not want him to miss out on those things just because of her. “Hey, my rose. Whatcha doing?” Rafe greets, coming into the room with Sparky in tow. He gives her a kiss. Y/N quickly switches apps on her phone and looks up at him, “Just going through Insta. How about we make some cookies?” Y/N’s distraction works and both of her boys don’t wait for her as they run toward the kitchen. She knows she should probably tell Rafe about her fears, but she is worried that Rafe would tell her it would be okay if he didn’t experience any of that. However, she doesn’t want him to sacrifice any more opportunities because of her. 

Taglist: @itsalexwin @sublimepenguinpeach-blog​ @gillybear17 @terraeluce @f4ll-for-you @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @rafegirly

[jjunberry]

ATTENTION! — Part 17 ✎

the tension in the car was thick. y/n felt awful but she had to check on beomgyu. she reached over the center console and laced her fingers with taehyun’s. he let out a sigh. “i’m not happy about this.” she nodded. “i know, i’ll be quick okay?” he nodded. “i’ll be counting.”

she smiled. taehyun parked outside of the apartment building y/n gave him directions to. she kissed him. “i’ll be back soon, love you.” he watched her walk into the building. anxiety settled into the pit of his stomach.

y/n took the elevator up to the 5th floor. she went to his apartment door and knocked. beomgyu swung the door opened and took the girl into his arms. she shrugged him off. “beomgyu are you okay?” her eyes took in his apartment. it was a mess. clothes, dishes piled up. she didn’t miss the bra laying by his couch.

how lonely could he have been? she sat down with beomgyu quickly occupying the spot next to her. “y/n i’m so glad you came over.” she nodded. “do you want to talk about what’s wrong?”

he nodded. his eyes looked to her coat still on and how she wore slip on shoes. “here let me take your coat.” she shook her head. “no thats okay.” he shrugged.

she placed her hand on his shoulder. “beomgyu tell me what’s wrong.” he looked at her with sad eyes. “god y/n i just miss you so much. and i feel so awful for how i treated you all because i was to afraid to love you and now i’ve lost you.”

y/n scooted away from him a little bit. “what..what do you mean?” beomgyu sighed. “y/n i’ve loved you since middle school.” y/n’s heart beat filled her ears. the room felt like it was spinning. “beomgyu you. you can’t just say that!” she screamed.

he wrapped her in his arms. “i know, i’m sorry please y/n. i love you.” she sighed and wrapped her arms around him. her mind was racing with a thousand different thoughts. beomgyu pulled back slightly and placed her cheeks in his hands. “y/n.. i knew you’d always love me, i knew you’d come back.” he leaned towards her but she shoved him away.

“NO.” she screamed. beomgyu stared at her shocked. he wasn’t expecting that. he thought he had her. “you will not do this to me again.” she stood her ground. “you do not get to hurt me anymore, or run people out of my life anymore.”

“y/n.” he tried. “no. i’m leaving beomgyu. i should have known this was a bad idea.” she turned around to put on her shoes. he grabbed her wrist and spun her around. he kissed her. holding her against him. she fought against him. eventually getting free. “I HATE YOU.” she screamed storming out of his apartment. leaving behind her shoes.

tears clouded her vision as the elevator doors started to close she saw beomgyu following. when she reached the main floor she bolted out of the apartment building to taehyun’s car. “Y/N.” beomgyu screamed. that caught taehyun’s attention. he got out of the car taking y/n into his arms.

he noticed her tears and lack of shoes. beomgyu came to a stop in front of the two. “what the fuck did you do?” taehyun asked venom lacing his tone. beomgyu rolled his eyes. “nothing.” he mumbled. taehyun turned to y/n who was crying into his chest.

“baby what did he do?” she mumbled into his chest. “baby i can’t hear you.” she pulled away and looked up at the boy. her eyes puffy and red. “he lied, you were right. and he kissed me.” taehyun’s body went rigid.

beomgyu started to back away. taehyun helped y/n into the car. he kissed her cheek. “i’ll be quick.” he turned his attention to beomgyu after closing the car door. he stormed up to the boy landing a nasty right hook on his cheek.

beomgyu fell to the ground holding the spot. “let that be a warning choi. don’t ever touch her again. don’t talk to her at work. don’t watch her social media. don’t call her. don’t text her. stay the fuck away.”

beomgyu scrambled to stand before running off into the building. taehyun shook out hid hand. his knuckles were already brushing. he rounded the car and got in. y/n looked at him with teary eyes. “p-please don’t leave me. y-you’re right i’m sorry.” taehyun leaned over and shut her rambling up with a kiss.

“stop yapping. i’m not leaving you.” she let out a teary giggle. her eyes wandered down to his right hand. the purple bruises already there. she took his hand and laid soft kisses over his knuckles. “i’m sorry.” she said.

he patted her head. “no need to be sorry pretty girl. now lets go.” she nodded and she held his right hand the entire way back to his apartment.

soobin and kai shared looks of confusion when y/n and taehyun came in but the couple paid them no mind.

they cleaned up then cuddled in the bed. “taehyun?” she questioned. “yeah?” she leaned up and kissed him softly. “i love you.”

he pulled her closer to his side. “ i love you too pretty girl.”

masterlist

tag list! @jjunieworld @304files @run2seob @gyutarling @hhoneylix @crybabyzo3y ( if your name is bold i couldn’t tag you)

author’s note! beomgyu in his villian era

love, Echo🖤

© jjunberry

[joesalw]

First of all, I’m happy to learn that I’m not alone in my becoming anti TS journey. I realized it’s my love for her since I was 10 years old that made her special in my eyes. Now that the glasses made of childhood nostalgia are off, all I see is a mediocre artist who doesn’t deserve everything she has right now. There are far more talented artists that deserve the recognition and fame, but they don’t have Daddy’s money when they were starting out so 🤷🏽

Save for folklore and evermore, most of her lyrics are also meh. My Lit major friends were right when they said “lyricism? what lyricism?” 😂 it’s embarrassing to see swifties (me included back then) compare her to Shakespeare or Jane Austen lmaooo

Like a lot of other people on here, I became resentful of her this year because of her behavior to the point that I have her muted on Spotify and blocked in social media since the start of November. How she dealt with and treated Ana’s death just really rubbed me the wrong way, sorta like it’s a confirmation that she doesn’t care about BIPOC lives when her whole brand is her loving her fans so much and having a close relationship with them. BIPOC lives are relevant to her only insofar as ✨ diversity and equality ✨ and “no i’m not racist or a bigot i literally have [insert minority group here] friends” damage control are concerned. Watched videos of her LatAm shows and the difference of her energy/how she engaged with people was glaring. It’s embarrassing to see swifties defend her like besties go get some standards and make sure you get your money’s worth, lmao.

And of course, how she’s intentionally associating herself with known abusers and SA apologists. I guess #MeToo was just another era for her and now she’s over it.

I got tickets to her show early next year, but after giving it time (to see if it’s just a phase and I’d like her again eventually), I decided I don’t wanna watch her anymore. Ironic because I stayed during the events of 1989 and after, but it’s ultimately TS herself who made me hate her, lol. Spending $2,000 (includes flights, hotel, etc) over an objectively mediocre artist who’s starting to show her real colors now that she thinks she’s unstoppable is just not worth it. Glad I now see the light 🙆🏽

Anyways, would you know about Ticketmaster’s policy on transferring the e-tickets? I’m the account holder and they did confirm that I don’t have to be physically present for my friends I was supposed to go with to get in. (Ticket transfers via TM are not possible.) I just wanna sell my own ticket and get my money back. Thanks in advance!

.

[star55]

Fic: Misfits and Mishaps - Chapter Four

Title: Misfits and Mishaps Author: Star Chapter: Four/Twelve Word Count: 5,821/47,000+ Pairing: Cait/Vi Fandom: Arcane (League of Legends) Rating: Teen and up Chapter Warnings: none

Read on A03

Chapter Four

Caitlyn is in the car on the way to visit Jayce at the lab when her phone buzzes in her pocket. She hopes it isn’t Jayce cancelling, she hasn’t seen in him a few weeks and wants to catch him up on the fact that she’s been in detention. He’ll get a kick out of that, she knows he will.

To her surprise, it’s Vi. They haven’t texted much since most of their time has been spent together in detention, but on Friday after their skipped class, they exchanged phone numbers. Vi said it’s because she tends to share a phone with her siblings – they each take it with them if they go out of the house alone. Which Caitlyn thinks is smart. It’s also a good way to stay off social media, she muses. Which she tries to do for herself, too.

Vi: Powder says thanks for the present. Attached is a photo of Powder using the art supplies that Caitlyn had gifted her. She has a smile on her face, but she isn’t looking at the camera, too focused on what she’s doing.

Caitlyn can’t help but smile at the photo, too. She was glad she got to be there for Powder’s birthday. After a few guests had left, Powder started asking Caitlyn all kinds of questions about what she liked, and what she did, and Caitlyn was more than happy to answer them. She liked how inquisitive Powder was. Vi was right – she was very smart. Caitlyn can’t help but think Powder and Viktor would get along. Even though her chaotic eleven-year-old energy might be a little too much for his introverted self.

Caitlyn’s thumbs fly across her screen as she types out a response.

Caitlyn: I’m glad she’s enjoying herself. Thank you for the cake, too. I had it with breakfast this morning.

She swipes over to her photo album, looking at the few photos she took of herself, Vi, and their afternoon yesterday. Caitlyn can’t remember the last time she had so much fun. It was all so normal. There was no Council members and their underhanded comments. There weren’t any important societal men trying to set her up with their sons – something she’s never been interested in. All of the sons of these men were all so boring to Caitlyn. She wants someone fun and exciting to talk to. Not talk about… whatever it is the boys talk about. She isn’t interested in that. She wants someone who will share her interests and someone she can share their interests, too. And every time one of those sons learns that she’s the best marksman for her age in the entirety of Runeterra, the conversations always die off.

So whenever there is a social event she absolutely has to attend, Caitlyn tries to stay by Jayce’s side as much as possible. She loves him like the brother she never had. He’s funny, kind, smart, and he cares about what she has to say.

She’s glad her parents chose him as their patron all those years ago.

Her phone buzzes again.

Vi: Cake for breakfast? Living up to your nickname there, Cupcake.

Caitlyn shakes her head and texts back.

Caitlyn: It’s unfair you have a nickname for me, I need one for you, too.

Her thumb taps on the dark screen, waiting for a text back.

Vi You’ll just have to keep thinking about it.

It buzzes again a second later.

Vi: Are you doing anything for Halloween? We’re going trick or treating in the Lanes. You can come if you want?

Caitlyn is typing out an emphatic “Yes!” before she even knows what her parents have on the social calendar for Halloween.

She swipes over to their shared calendar and sees that it is, thankfully, blank. Her father tends to work the night shift at Piltover General Hospital on Halloween, but she couldn’t be certain her mother didn’t have anything on the schedule already.

Tapping on the date, Caitlyn pops in her own entry of “Trick or Treating with Vi” and saving it. Her parents might not see the entry, but it’s there in case they look. Hopefully nothing will crop up between now and then.

Vi: Don’t forget to dress up as something scary! Powder wants us to do a family costume, so we’re all dressing up as werewolves.

Caitlyn smiles to herself as she pictures Powder as a werewolf. Then her mind shifts to Vi as a werewolf and her heart thuds a little harder in her chest, picturing Vi with fangs.

Fangs, Caitlyn thinks. She has the perfect costume idea. Thankfully she has most of the outfit at home already, she just needs to pick up something else to complete it.

The car pulls up outside of Jayce’s lab before Caitlyn knows it. She says goodbye to her driver and steps out, sliding her bag onto her shoulder as she goes, making sure not to jostle the box she’s carrying as well. She waves to the doorman and bypasses the information desk as she heads to the elevators. She uses her all-access pass – a Kiramman perk – and punches in the code to Jayce’s lab.

He’s such a paranoid nerd at times, she thinks as she rides the elevator up. Thankfully no one else gets on and she steps out onto his floor a few moments later.

“Jayce?” she calls out as she enters, not seeing him straight away.

“Just a sec!” Jayce calls back.

Caitlyn sets the box on a clear space of desk and waits. She looks around, taking in the details of the blackboard covered in Jayce and Viktor’s writing. It is a lot more crowded than the last time Caitlyn was here a few weeks ago. She’s positive that there was only half the blackboard filled when she was here last.

“Hey, Sprout! Sorry about the wait,” Jayce says as he wanders into the room. He has a mug full of coffee in one hand and what she hopes is a cup of tea for her in the other. “But I remembered your tea, milady.”

She rolls her eyes at him fondly. “Thank you.” She takes it from him and puts it next to the box of treats she brought with her. “This is all new,” she says, gesturing to the blackboard.

He nods. “Vik and I are working on a new design,” he starts. He launches into an explanation of what it is, and what they hope to achieve. Caitlyn wonders if he notices that he smiles every single time he mentions Viktor’s name.

“Well, it’s good to see my parents’ money is being well spent,” she says with a cheeky half smile in his direction when he pauses to take a breath.

“Sorry,” he says, scratching at the side back of his neck. “I got a little carried away.”

“It’s good. I like how passionate you are,” Caitlyn replies. “How is Viktor anyway?”

“He’s good. He’s at the doctors at the moment for some more pain medication,” Jayce replies.

“And have you told him you want to kiss him senseless yet?” Caitlyn asks. She reaches over to open the box of bakery treats she brought with her and selects a pink glazed doughnut.

“What? I… No,” he says on a sigh.

“You should get on that,” Caitlyn comments. “Before you spontaneously kiss him and take him by surprise.”

“Ha ha,” Jayce says, reaching into the box for a doughnut of his own. He takes a big bite and washes it down with a swig of his coffee. He promptly makes a face when he realises it’s cold. Caitlyn’s tea, however, was finished while he talked. “I’m just going to go heat this up. When I get back, I want to hear about what you’ve been up to.”

“Hmm, yes,” Caitlyn says. “It’s all very exciting over in the Kiramman house.”

“I notice that sarcasm, Cait,” he says as he disappears from view.

Caitlyn smiles to herself and picks another doughnut to eat. She’s just taken a mouthful when her phone buzzes in her pocket.

Vi: Piltie. Heard you’re trick or treating with us? What are you going as? I can’t have you being cooler than me.

Caitlyn frowns at the phone. She figures this isn’t Vi, and she didn’t really get a chance to talk to Claggor all that much. So she figures that it’s Mylo.

Caitlyn: I haven’t decided yet. But I doubt I’ll be cooler than a family of werewolves.

She doesn’t mind lying to Mylo about this. He doesn’t need to know what she’s going to be. Plus, she wants to see the look on Vi’s face when she sees her costume for the first time.

Vi: I’m not going as a werewolf. Family costumes are for when we’re kids. I’m going as a rock star.

Caitlyn: Then you’ll definitely be cooler than me.

Vi: And don’t you forget it. Vi says you have dogs. Can I have a photo?

Caitlyn smiles as she sends off a photo of her precious dogs. It’s a photo she took that morning after they’d gone for their morning run. Bullet’s head is resting on top of Trigger’s and they look so cute.

Vi: They’re huge!

Caitlyn: The one on the left is Bullet, the one on the right is Trigger. They’re big babies.

Vi: Remind me not to break into your place.

Caitlyn: Please don’t. Tell Vi she still owes me an answer, too.

Vi: ?? An answer for what??

Caitlyn: She knows what.

“Who are you texting?” Jayce asks as he walks back into the room. “A boy?”

Caitlyn reflexively makes a face. She isn’t interested in Mylo like that.

“Not a boy then?” Jayce counters. He sits down opposite her at the table and picks another doughnut from the box.

“It was a boy, but that’s only because he was the one with the family phone,” Caitlyn replies. “I definitely don’t like him like that.”

“A family phone?” Jayce asks. “Care to elaborate?”

“My friend Vi and her siblings all share a phone,” Caitlyn explains as she peels off chocolate icing with her thumb. “It was her brother, Mylo, who was texting me about Halloween just now.”

“I think you need to take a few steps back. Who’s Vi? And Mylo? And you have Halloween plans? Cait, that’s huge!”

When he says it like that, it makes Caitlyn feel like a friendless loser. She is a bit like that, but Jayce’s enthusiasm is just a stark reminder of what her life was like before Vi came into it.

“Vi’s a girl I met in detention,” she replies. “Well, technically the bathrooms at school.”

“Detention?” Jayce exclaims. “Cait, you had detention?”

She nods. “Two weeks’ worth.”

“What did you do to deserve detention?”

“Called Mr Edwards a bigot to his face. And then to the principal’s face.”

Jayce’s bug-eyed expression makes Caitlyn giggle. He puts his doughnut down and wipes his fingers on his trousers. “I’m going to need you to take it from the top.”

So Caitlyn does. She tells him about how she started noticing all of the little biases that certain teachers had towards the Zaun students. She explains how she got sent to the principal’s office, how her mother was proud of her for standing up for what was right (that bit still makes her chest ache with happiness) and how she’s spent every lunchtime detention with Vi, though she never knows why Vi is in detention in the first place considering they can’t all be uniform violations. Caitlyn’s been keeping close attention. She knows there was nothing wrong with Vi’s uniform on Thursday or Friday, so she was there for other reasons she didn’t elaborate on.

“And then I went to her sister’s birthday party yesterday,” Caitlyn continues. She mentions about Powder and shows the photo Vi had sent earlier of Powder with her gift.

When she finishes, Jayce is giving her a puzzled look.

“Do I have something on my face?” she asks, reaching for a paper napkin and wiping at her mouth.

“Cait,” Jayce starts slowly, like he’s trying to figure out how exactly to say what is on his mind. She’s seen this look on his face before – he’s working through something and about to come to a big realisation.

“Do you like her?”

“Vi? Of course! She’s great,” Caitlyn replies. “She’s really funny, and she doesn’t treat me the way everyone else does because of my name.”

“No, Cait. I mean. Do you like her?” Jayce repeats.

Caitlyn blinks at him. “What?” she says softly. He gives her a soft smile.

“It sounds like you have a crush,” he says.

“I don’t?” She doesn’t think she does? She’s never actually had a crush before. She figures it will happen eventually. A lot of the girls in her year level started talking about boys a few years ago, but Caitlyn never saw the appeal. There wasn’t a single boy who was cute enough, or worth her attention enough to consider giggling over like some of the other girls did.

“You know how you tease me about Viktor?” Jayce begins, still in a quieter tone than before. “You’re talking about Vi like that.”

Caitlyn feels her face heat up. She looks away, focusing on the blackboard full of scientific scribbles and formulae like it will give her the answer she’s looking for. Like the one Jayce is expecting of her.

Caitlyn bites her lip. She likes Vi – of course she does! Vi is wonderful. She’s smart, she’s kind, she has a massive heart. Caitlyn can tell that with every time she talks about her family. She’s thoughtful and doesn’t tease Caitlyn for being a Kiramman. And she stood up for Caitlyn against Asher in the bathrooms when they’d only just met.

And she has the loveliest smile Caitlyn has ever seen. It lights up her whole face when she thinks no one is looking. She can go from handsome to beautiful if she turns her head just right. And she’s tactile. Caitlyn doesn’t normally like people touching her without her permission, but Vi’s touch doesn’t make her feel itchy inside. It’s comforting. Like when their knees knock together as they sit, or when Vi put her arm around Caitlyn’s shoulder.

“Oh.”

Jayce’s hand reaches out and he puts it on top of hers. “Welcome to the gay club, kiddo! We have jackets.”

“Do you have a jacket?” Caitlyn asks, raising an eyebrow in his direction, knowing full well that it’s something Jayce would do.

“…I. Yes,” he says, sounding resigned.

Caitlyn bursts out laughing. “Then I’ll have a jacket, too,” she replies. “Then we can match like the siblings we are.”

He beams at her. “I have so many ideas.”

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” Caitlyn asks, sounding resigned. “I feel like I’m going to regret this.”

“Not at all,” Jayce says, but his thumbs are moving quickly over his phone and Caitlyn knows he’s about to ask for her measurements, so she derails him with the only piece of her story she hasn’t shared.

“I met Mel’s girlfriend yesterday.”

Jayce’s head shoots up, phone forgotten. “Sevika? She’s quite severe, isn’t she?”

Caitlyn shakes her head. “I didn’t really get to talk to her, but she’s Vi’s aunt.”

“Small world,” Jayce comments. “I guess the fruit doesn’t really fall far from the tree.” He bursts out laughing at his own joke and Caitlyn has no choice but to throw the balled-up napkin at his head. It hits, because she never misses, and he swats at it.

“Why do I put up with your terrible jokes?” Caitlyn grumbles as she closes the box of goodies up and pushing it towards Jayce’s side of the table.

“Because I’m the best big brother in the world,” Jayce replies. “But hey. I’m proud of you. You know that right?”

Caitlyn nods. “I know.”

“And not just for being queer,” he says. “But when you figure out a label, let me know, I want to order that jacket.”

Caitlyn can’t help but smile, grateful that she has Jayce in her life.

~*~

Caitlyn’s surprised when Vi slides into the seat next to her during her Monday detention. Her heart thuds a little in her chest as she takes in Vi’s appearance, mentally checking what’s wrong with her uniform but finding nothing out of the ordinary.

“Why are you here?” Caitlyn asks. “You said you were finished with detention.”

Vi shrugs and rolls up her shirt sleeve, showing off her pen ink covered right arm. “I got bored during biology.”

Caitlyn shakes her head, biting back a smile. “These are really cool,” she says, turning her body so she’s facing Vi. She gets a closer look at the little figures Vi has drawn on her arm. There are flowers, trees, people. It’s a mishmash of things, but somehow it suits Vi a lot.

“I thought I’d start practicing for when I get a tattoo,” Vi comments casually.

“You want a tattoo?”

Vi nods. “I’ve been designing pieces for years,” she replies. “Remind me to show you sometime.”

“Miss Kiramman, Miss Wolfe. Might I remind you both that this is detention,” Mrs Walker says with a sigh. She gives them a pointed look and sits down at the desk at the head of the room.

“This one is my favourite,” Caitlyn whispers when Mrs Walker opens her laptop to work. Caitlyn’s finger traces a rather large flower head that Vi drew on the inside of her arm. “I have an idea.” Without waiting for an answer, Caitlyn pulls out her pencil case and chooses a purple marker. She uncaps it and starts to colour in the petals. She takes her time, making sure to stay within the lines that Vi has already drawn. She switches out between a few different shades of purple markers, making sure to get the shading as best as she can. Vi really is a wonderful artist, she thinks as she finishes up the last petal.

She’s so focused that she doesn’t register how still Vi is until she looks up. Vi’s cheeks flush as their gazes meet and lock. She licks her lips and Caitlyn can’t help but stare.

“Uh, it looks good, Cupcake,” Vi says. “Thanks.”

Caitlyn nods. She puts the marker back in its spot and zips her pencil case up. Her heart is thudding in her chest and she isn’t sure why.

They’re silent for the rest of detention.

When Caitlyn gets home that day, she sequesters herself in her room with her laptop and opens an incognito window. Hoping that she doesn’t get anything that will scar her, she types in “how do I know I’m lesbian?”

She clicks through, reading articles and opinion pieces and even doing quizzes. It wasn’t something she’d really thought of before. She just figured that she was a late bloomer – seeing as she only got her period a few days after her fifteenth birthday, and she just would grow into liking boys like many others seemed to.

She knows that Runeterra is a widely diverse place, that there are many sexualities and genders, so she shouldn’t be thinking that liking boys is the norm, but it’s still there, in society, with heterosexuality being the most common sexuality.

Mel’s voice pops into her head, saying the word butch with such a loving timbre to her voice. That goes into the search bar next. And what she sees is Vi. Not photos of Vi, of course, but people who look like her.

She notices that most butches in these photos tend to have femme girlfriends, but Caitlyn doesn’t consider herself femme. Not really. The femmes in all of these photos are wearing makeup, and dresses or skirts. Even outside of her uniform – which is thankfully shorts or trousers – she doesn’t wear dresses or skirts that often. They’re not ideal for someone like her who runs a lot, who has shooting as one of her main sports.

Trying to find a label for herself outside of lesbian is proving more difficult than she hoped it would, so she closes her laptop. She heaves a sigh and Bullet looks up from the end of her bed where he’s resting. Trigger is asleep on the floor on his back his legs in the air – the only time he sleeps like that is in her room. She leans over, scratching at Bullet’s head, getting the spot behind his ears that she knows he loves. He yawns widely and gives her a happy smile. She leans over and kisses the top of his head.

She takes out her phone and snaps some photos of him, and of Trigger, who has started dreaming, his legs kicking in the air. She does a quick video and saves it, knowing that she can hear her own giggling in the video. But she sends all of them to Vi, even though she knows Vi might not get them, that Mylo or even Claggor could get them. She just hopes Vi sees them eventually and that it makes her smile.

Thinking of Vi makes her think of what Vi would say if she found out that Caitlyn is lesbian. She already knows Vi is – if Powder’s comment hadn’t confirmed it, the fact that Vi had hooked up with Asher in the past was a clear indicator, too.

Caitlyn can’t help but wonder if Asher is the type of girl Vi likes – hyper femme. Asher loves all her makeup and skirts and being as cute as possible. She’s completely different to Caitlyn.

She’s getting ahead of herself. She doesn’t even know if Vi is interested in her. She sighs and shakes her head. She’s being silly. Of course Vi doesn’t like her like that. They’re just friends. Nothing more.

That thought hurts more than Caitlyn would like to admit.

~*~

“Whoa! You have red eyes!” Powder exclaims as she looks up at Caitlyn. Caitlyn gives her a smile, showing off her full fangs. “Your fangs look so good!” she jabbers excitedly.

Caitlyn feels warm at that compliment. It was easy to decide to be a vampire for her costume. She already has a cloak that is a deep navy colour – it’s her House colours, and has the House emblem on the back, but it makes her look like a vampire. She was teased about it by some girls in her year level when they first saw it last year, but it feels right to reclaim that vampiric nature for tonight’s outing. Getting red contact lenses and the fangs was also easy for Caitlyn, and it completes her look. She feels bad that it isn’t as an elaborate costume as other people have, but vampires tend to wear normal clothes and just have fangs and different coloured eyes. So her white shirt and black trousers basic outfit underneath the cloak isn’t out of place, which she’s thankful for.

She’s still standing on the front porch of Vi’s family home, as Powder jabbers as she was the one to answer the door, in all her werewolf glory. She has fur stuck to her cheeks and everything. She looks like a cute puppy, really.

“You look great, Powder,” she says as Powder finally steps aside to let her in. She takes Caitlyn’s hand and leads her into the house much like she did during her birthday party. She hasn’t seen Powder since then, but Vi has texted her photos every now and then of her family members, and Caitlyn has done the same but with photos of her dogs.

“Thanks! Dad helped me stick my fur on because Vi was too busy doing her own,” Powder replies. Her entire costume is cute and Caitlyn wants to take some photos before they head out into the neighbourhood.

Caitlyn is led into the kitchen where Vi and Vander are putting some glow in the dark stickers on their trick or treat buckets.

“Cait!” Vi exclaims as she looks up. “Whoa, your eyes look so cool!”

Caitlyn smiles. “Powder said the same.”

“You should see her fangs, Vi! They’re way cooler than mine,” Powder exclaims. Caitlyn promptly bares her teeth, showing off her faux fangs and Vi smiles.

“They’re cool but we have cool fangs too, Pow,” Vi says, gesturing to the kitchen table where a few pairs of stick-in fangs rest.

“Are you lot ready, then?” Vander asks. He passes Caitlyn a bucket and she smiles at him.

Powder nods excitedly, her little wolf ears on top of her head looking too cute amongst all of her hair.

“Mylo and Claggor aren’t coming with us anymore,” Vi says. “They’re both at the arcade to pass out candy there. So it’s just us.”

Caitlyn nods. “Us girls will have more fun anyway,” she says conspiratorially, giving Powder a wink. Powder grins at her and gives Vander a big hug before grabbing her bucket off the table. It has her name on it in big glittery stickers.

“Take care of each other, and have fun,” Vander says. “And call if you need anything.”

“We will, Dad,” Vi says. She gives him a hug and rubs over the back of her hair with one of his hands. She swats at him, smiling, and smooths her hair back down. Her own wolf ear headband is nestled among her pink hair, which is out of its usual slicked back style and is messier. Caitlyn figures it’s to hide the headband better, but she has to admit, it looks good.

“Let’s go then,” Vi says.

Powder grabs Caitlyn’s free hand and leads her out the door. She feels a rush of affection for this little girl, wondering what Vi has said to Powder about her for her to be so kind towards Caitlyn.

Powder jabbers excitedly as they walk, telling her facts about all of their neighbours. She mentions where Sevika is and Caitlyn nods along. “But she’s not home. She and her girlfriend are spending the night at some fancy event in Piltover. Hey, why aren’t you at that event?”

“Thankfully it’s not for kids, just for adults,” Caitlyn replies. Powder starts swinging their joined hands. “My mother is there though.”

“What about your dad?” Powder asks, looking up at Caitlyn with a curious expression in her big eyes.

“He’s working tonight. He works at the hospital.”

“Oh cool! I’ve been there when I broke my arm falling off the monkey bars when I was seven,” Powder says. “I had a green cast. It was cool!”

She goes off on a tangent about how she broke her arm and the x-rays and how the doctor who put her cast on was super nice.

They approach another house and Powder stops talking long enough to knock on the door. Caitlyn is surprised every single time by how loud her knocking is, but it’s sweet. It suits her, somehow.

“Trick or treat!” Powder exclaims as an older woman comes into view, a large bowl of candy in her arms.

“Well look at you!” the woman says, smiling down at Powder. “You’re a very scary werewolf!”

“Thank you!” Powder replies.

“And, wow, those red eyes are startling, dear,” the woman says as she glances up at Caitlyn. “What are you supposed to be?”

“She’s a vampire!” Powder replies for her. “Show her your teeth!” Caitlyn happily obliges and the woman gasps.

“They’re very realistic,” she says. “You get two candy pieces for that.”

“Wow!” Powder exclaims as Caitlyn is passed two pieces.

“Thank you,” Caitlyn replies. She feels bad because Vi is hovering in the background, like she has been for the last three houses, but Powder has yet to let go of Caitlyn’s hand each time they approach a new house.

They say goodbye to the woman and she closes the door behind them.

“Here,” Caitlyn says, passing Vi one of the candy pieces. “Since you didn’t get any.”

Vi shoots her a surprised look. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“I don’t either,” Caitlyn replies. She slips the candy into Vi’s bucket and gives her a wink. She isn’t sure, as it’s getting dark, but she thinks she sees Vi blush.

“C’mon, slow pokes!” Powder says, breaking the moment.

They steadily make their way through the neighbourhood, Powder preening every time someone compliments her werewolf costume.

After an hour more, Caitlyn can feel Powder starting to slow down. She gently runs a hand over the back of Powder’s head, and says to her, “how about we go to one more house and then head home?”

“Okay,” Powder says, yawning widely.

On their way back to Vi’s house, Vi stops and gives Powder a piggy back. Caitlyn takes a moment to snap a photo of them. They look so cute with their matching wolf ears and little tufts of fur down their faces. Powder yawns again and buries her face in Vi’s neck, her eyes closed. Caitlyn takes a couple more discreet photos, vowing to show them to Vi later. She slips her phone back into her pocket and shuffles their buckets around so she’s carrying them in two hands rather than one.

Vander is sitting in the living room, watching the television when they enter the house.

“Good night?” he asks.

Vi nods. “I’m just going to put her to bed,” she says. “Cait, you can just stay down here.”

“Okay,” Caitlyn replies. “I’ll take the candy to the kitchen.”

Vi wanders off up the stairs and Caitlyn heads to the kitchen. She realises with a start that’s the second time tonight that Vi has called her Cait before. It makes her tummy tingle pleasantly.

“Would you care for a cup of tea?” Vander asks as he appears behind her.

“Oh, yes, please,” Caitlyn replies. She puts the buckets on the table, making sure that Powder’s is out of the way. She looks at her very full bucket and Vi’s mostly empty one. She tips her bucket into Vi’s, making sure she gets her fair share.

“That’s nice of you,” Vander says, startling Caitlyn. His back is to the kettle behind him, slowly burbling away. There are three mugs on the counter behind him, each with a teabag label hanging over the side.

“It’s only fair,” Caitlyn replies with a shrug. “Powder was quite insistent on holding my hand, which meant that Vi was left out a lot.”

Vander just nods, and turns back to the kettle. Caitlyn sorts the candies up, satisfied that Vi has her fair share. She wonders which ones are Vi’s favourites. She’ll happily trade with her.

“She’s out,” Vi says as she comes back into the kitchen. “Have you heard from the boys, Dad?”

Vander nods. He puts their mugs on the table, sliding one towards Caitlyn. “They’ll be out a bit longer, but they’re having fun.”

Vi smiles. “I’ll have to take you to the arcade soon,” she says to Caitlyn. She picks up her own mug and has a sip from it before wincing. “Too hot,” she mutters. “Hey, how come my bucket is full?”

“It’s only fair,” Caitlyn replies. “You didn’t get as much candy because you were hanging back a lot.”

“I don’t need all of this,” Vi protests, pushing the bucket back towards Caitlyn.

“I’ll leave you girls to it,” Vander says, interrupting what Caitlyn was about to say. He kisses Vi on the top of her head, and Caitlyn can’t help but smile because she’s still wearing her wolf ears. “Try and keep it down in here, it’s almost bed time for the lot of you.”

“Okay, Dad,” Vi replies. He takes his mug and wanders out of the kitchen.

“Cait,” Vi says, turning back to her. “I don’t want all of this candy.”

“Well, what are your favourites? We’ll divide them that way. I don’t eat anything with nuts, but my father loves them. Mother loves anything with nougat in it,” Caitlyn states.

“I love anything with caramel,” Vi replies. “I’m not fond of the ones with small nuts. But everything else is okay.”

“Alright then,” Caitlyn says. She takes both of their buckets and dumps the contents out on the table. Her fingers make quick work of dividing things up into what Vi likes, what she likes, and what they both dislike. It doesn’t take long, and soon their buckets are refilled with their selections.

“There. Done.”

“That was super fast,” Vi says, her tone impressed. “Are you sure you’re not a real vampire with super speed?”

Caitlyn purposefully bares her fangs. “You’ll never know.”

Vi shakes her head, smiling. “I’d better hide this from my brothers,” she says, nodding towards her bucket. “Mylo will eat everything if he can.”

“Then you definitely need to hide it,” Caitlyn agrees.

Vi glances up at her. “Thank you for coming tonight. Powder had a really good time.”

“I did too,” Caitlyn says. “It’s a first trick or treat experience to remember.” She picks up her tea and has a sip, enjoying the flavour. But mostly it’s so she has something to do with her hands, lest she reach over and take Vi’s in her own.

“I’m glad it was memorable,” Vi says. Her tone is soft, and she has a smile on her face that Caitlyn has only ever seen aimed towards Powder.

“I’d better go,” Caitlyn says after a beat of silence. “It’s getting late.” She pulls out her phone to message her driver to come and collect her. She slides her phone back into her pocket once she has a reply.

Vi nods and she passes Caitlyn her bucket. “We should do this again sometime.”

“What, go trick or treating?” Caitlyn teases.

Vi rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean.” Caitlyn does. And she does want to do this again. They make their way to the front door and Caitlyn turns back to face Vi.

“Would you like to come over to my house next weekend?” She asks. “You can finally meet my dogs.”

Vi’s face lights up at that. “I’d love that.”

Caitlyn lingers for a moment before she decides to go for it. She gives Vi a massive hug and is relieved when Vi hugs her back. They slowly part and Vi’s hand comes up, her thumb gently caressing the side of Caitlyn’s face. She can’t help but lean into it before slowly pulling back.

“Good night, Vi,” she says, glancing up into Vi’s light blue eyes.

“Night,” Vi replies. Caitlyn nods once, awkwardly, before leaving the house, realising that she desperately wanted to kiss Vi tonight.

Her driver pulls up a moment later, and the moment she’s able to, Caitlyn is unlocking her phone and swiping through the photos she took tonight, stopping on a selfie she had taken with Vi earlier, both of their fangs on display as they made silly faces at the camera. She sets it as her phone’s lock screen, her tummy tingling all the while.

[your-hands-in-mine]

My take on Tessa and ice dance is a little different. I think Tessa had within her from a young age a pretty strong ambition to be great. And she found Scott at that age and they both saw how they could work together to be great through ice dance. I think that ice dance was lucky to have her and if she hadn’t met Scott maybe she would have been great at ballet or something else. But despite her success as a skater, she actively separated her identity from skating and often didn’t really even seem to enjoy skating as much as the pursuit of their common goals.

But I think that once VM started to have a national profile and especially once they won in Vancouver, Tessa saw the possibilities of what her profile as an Olympic gold medalist could do to launch her post-skating career as an endorser or what we now know as influencers and that obviously grew exponentially after Pyeongchang. And you can see that from 2010 forward Tessa was building up a profile and making connections with Canadian celebrities and socialites that have been helpful in her post skating life. And at times it felt like she was almost waiting for the chance to launch her second act.

At the same time, Scott’s aspirations were closer to home. He came from a skating family, and he’s wanted to give back to his community. The kind of celebrity that Tessa pursued is anathema to him, and he feels most comfortable with people he’s known for a long time. And he has always seemed like someone who not only loves skating but really enjoys working with younger skaters — he always helped at skating schools when he had downtime when competing whereas the last place you would find Tessa in her free time is a skating rink. (The Lindt skating classes they did were work, not free time.)

I’m grateful that their partnership kept both of them competing and performing for so long. I doubt they would have lasted without each other. And I’m glad we still have Scott as a coach.

Hi!! 👋 Sorry for the late replay. First off, I want to put it out there that when I talk about Tessa not liking skating, I’m referring to everything pre-comeback. Tessa made it clear that she LOVED skating during the comeback, and thank god she got to experience that, if only for two years. Anyway. That’s interesting, in terms of Tessa thinking ahead to her life/career post skating, I never considered that the gears in her head would have been turning on that as far back as Vancouver. Thinking about it, I’d say maybe after 2012 worlds? At that point, Tessa realized that the sport was exhausting her. Even though they won worlds, she didn’t feel that thrill from the win that she thought she would. A year later she just wanted to quit.

Ultimately, they decided to stay in for Sochi. But yeah half way through the quad that, at the time, they thought was going to be their last, I’m sure Tessa was thinking ahead.

Your use of the word “influencer” to describe her is curious to me 😂 You’re definitely not the only one! But when I think of “influencers”, I think of people who produce regular content on either instagram or tiktok, build up a following through those videos, and then brands eventually start reaching out to them. They first become known because of their social media, not from any previous accomplishments or achievements like Tessa.

And as for making connections/networking, isn’t that just preparing for the future and acknowledging the fact that their skating career would end when they hit 30? And this just occurred to me, but I wonder if this especially dwelled on Tessa’s mind because they very nearly lost their career. Her leg pain was chronic. She knew more than many people that it all could feel and be so very fleeting.

“And at times it felt like she was almost waiting for the chance to launch her second act” is where I hesitate. I will say I only just got here 🫣 like this year, which is RARE I know!! So I’m not an expert on the subject. I just do my best to do my research and use my best judgement since I wasn’t actually there to witness it all unfold. If you mean she was waiting for it during the comeback era, I disagree. I don’t think there was any “waiting” going on. First of all, I think they had a very clear timeline. 2018 and they were done. And both were spending their energy focused as hell and soaking up every moment of their comeback. Whatever pursuits or thinking she did that involved her post career while they were in the midst of the comeback, it did not take away from their endeavor at the time.

If you mean she was waiting for it during the Sochi quad, in a way, they both were. Waiting for it to end, I mean. As I said, she (and he) were exhausted in every way. I would want it to end too. But the reason never was: “I want this to end so I can launch my second career and use my first career to back me up.”

And “anathema” is a bit of a strong word, no?💀 (had to look that one up). But I do agree that Scott finds comfort and familiarity in his “circle.” It’s true. They both run in quite different circles nowadays. And I don’t think either of them hold judgement against the other for that. They just recognize that that’s a significant difference in the type of people they are.

But as for Tessa not having chosen to involve herself in skating in her free time, I think that is part of her finding a separate identity from skating, as you mentioned in the beginning. Finding those boundaries was what was healthy for her. Because as much as she could find comfort in associating skating with Scott, the chronic pain it caused her, as well as all the toxicity she experienced from Canton, were very strong presences in her life too. Scott had a different relationship with skating. Besides loving it, a part of it is because men have different experiences with the sport. And pain-free people have different experiences with the sport. Scott is both of those things. (He experienced pain, but you get my meaning).

In the 22 years they gave us, VM showed us all the different things you could be on the ice: dancers, artists, athletes, performers, humans. They demonstrated loyalty to each other that could withstand the hardest of times. And they learned to support each other no matter what. Considering how long and how intensely they did all that, I sure hope they enjoyed their free time, however they chose to spend it. And I think they taught us plenty.

[carmenthabaddie]

Intentional with my time 💖💖💖

Today I wore a yellow long dress with flowers. I bought it few years ago from Rainbows. I love that store as a plus size woman. It can be hit and miss but you can’t beat affordable prices.

2024 I am being intentional with my time. The truth is time waits for no one. I learned this hard way in my 20s. I wish I knew what I know at 31. But that’s behind me. I must make peace with dropping the ball during my 20s. I had no real feminine hypergamy examples around me.

I actually started my level up glow up femininity hypergamy journey at 25. But was still naïve, immature, and didn’t know what I know. I wasn’t serious at 25 late 20s like I’m serious at 31 early 30s. It’s like I’m playing catch up. But it’s better to play catch up than to never start this level up glow up journey.

I also didn’t have this spiritual ability. I am so thankful I have strong spiritual ability where spirit and beautiful black communicate through me. It’s on my list to get medium reading to see which spirits and black ancestors channel through me. So glad I took out birth control and spiritual ability developed.

It’s my time to shine. My January gym sessions scheduled in my digital planner. And this pre booking beauty appointments. And my grandma is in New York while she is gone my step dad spoils me with takeout and I’m not giving it up. So I will look at restaurants menu and calories and pick in the middle food choices and enjoy my step dad spoiling me at my favorite restaurants and me not pay. Because that’s what men are for. He like my only example of a man financially providing for house and being a leader and provider.

I’m blessed to have him as good example and father figure. And giving me the option to be a stay at home daughter and working being option not requirement and my money being mine and no major bills where I can save money and follow my dreams and have hobbies. I am shopping addict. First step is acknowledging your bad habit and creating a plan and correcting bad habit and replacing it with good habit. And being realistic and not cold turkey. It’s small but I saved $100 on Cashapp savings. And refuse to touch it like I normally do.

Hard pill to swallow I learned bad money habits from my caretaker parent my adopted mom my grandma she goes through money and nothing to show for and pass on to love ones. Thankfully she has life insurance. She been on medicaid , ebt and public housing and have a lack poverty  mindset and it’s all I saw.

So at im acknowledging my bad money management skills habits. Save today and wait for tomorrows pleasure. I felt so good saving $100 and what it can grow. I created a budget in note section of iPhone. And I pay my bills with gratitude 🙏. I’m thankful I have money period and more money is coming. Spirit and black ancestors sending me a financial blessing cause I bless black women in need and I currently don’t have much.

But at end of day you can’t tell me I’m not abundant. I know I’m abundant and I’m a money magnet and money grows on trees for me. I have a good relationship with money now. I can’t wait for my sp David match my importance of financial security for us and our 3 future kids. Pass on good money management with my future 3 kids.

I need spend less on mindlessly spending. And pay my two credit cards off and Affirm bill and student loans. I’m thankful my debt is small than others. Spend less on subscriptions and groceries and makeup and wigs.

I’m use the clothes I have now till I’m doing better financially and same for wigs, shoes, makeup, and skincare. Let step dad help me afford beauty treatments to keep my appearance up.

Yesterday I had like consultation coaching session with Destiny the confident hoe. And told her all my movement and how I’m off social media and intentionally using social media for good, fame and money. I can log out and it not control me. Seeing therapist tomorrow. And law of assumption coach I believe on Sunday. I have invested time and money on my level up and glow up and it’s worth it and making shit manifest faster.

So many making ideas and affirming for money so I can invest in businesses and side hustles and free money. 2024 I’m focused, putting action, faith in myself, spirit and beautiful black ancestors. Step dad treating me to Asian Habachi. Today I posted content and need edit productivity vlog for YouTube. Thank you for those who read and share my blog post. Affirming for hella followers. Until next time be well.

[shurismainbxtch]

Maybe it’s just me but I’m kind of sad because I do miss tish and I genuinely hope that she’s okay or doing better but also because it feels like everybody is just disappearing don’t get me wrong I know people have lives and everything is just miss when it was fun and hype and I fun app to be on😭😕 also

People were saying tish doesn’t really like us because she turned her comments off when she first got TikTok because of us ☹️ I don’t think she will ever talk/interact with us again 😭

Idk how to answer this cause you seem kinda young but don’t worry hun, she said she’s taking a rest and I’m sure she’s fine so don’t think the worst. She just went to her friends birthday party and a museum not too long ago but she didn’t post it cause she doesn’t have to. Every body needs a break from social media every once in awhile and I’m actually glad that she’s taking a break even though I miss her too🥰 and yeah I miss the November/December era too💀

Um..idk what they’re talking about bc she been had her comments off, not just on tiktok so it’s not surprising that she turned them off. On ig she has it limited possibly bc of ignorant people that hear things from a headline and automatically believe it😒and she constantly has to address it and clear her name cause remember people stay lying on her name and they’re clearly not supporters of her so it can’t be us. Omg why do y’all think she hates us?😭I don’t think she’ll never interact us again, she definitely loves her supporters the way she be cheesing when she talks about us🤭you’re thinking too much boo, think positive🥰

[toraleistripe]

Expecting

Fandom(s): Bluey

Crossover: no

Summary: Julia has some big news to share with her partners, but she’s a little nervous to tell them

Character(s): Bandit, Chilli, Julia (OC), Bluey, Bingo

Pairing(s): Bandit/Julia/Chilli

A/N: If you don’t like polyamorous relationships, this isn’t the fic for you. I actually wrote this back in December, I was just too nervous to post it. I do not own Bluey or any of it’s characters, I only own Julia

Word count: 2,439

Warnings: none

The husky glanced nervously at her paws as she waited for her partners to get home. She hadn't been feeling well the last few weeks, so she'd stayed home while Bandit and Chilli dropped the girls off at their Nana's for the weekend. She already missed them terribly, but she knew how much fun they always had with Chris and Bob when they visited them. She sighed, moving to sit on the couch, phone in hand, scrolling through her social media. Her ears twitched suddenly at the sound of the front door opening.

"Jules! We're back!" Bandit called as he and Chilli entered the house.

Julia instantly stood, setting her phone on the coffee table and heading into the entryway where Chilli was just locking the door behind them. "I'm glad you're here" She said, smiling as Bandit pressed a kiss to her cheek, Chilli doing the same as they all headed for the living room.

"Yeah, your text said you had something important to talk to us about once we got back" Chilli said, a look of concern crossing her face as she looked at her girlfriend. "Is everything alright, love?"

"Um, well..." The husky hesitated once again as Bandit and Chilli sat on the couch on either side of her.

"Just take your time" Bandit said, placing his hand over hers. "We'll wait"

Julia took a deep breath, sighing heavily. "I, uh, well you both know how I haven't been feeling well these last few weeks..." They both nodded. "It, it's because, as it turns out, I, uh...I'm..." Her heart was beating hard as she sucked in another deep breath, feeling Chilli's hand grasp hers as the three of them sat in silence for about another minute before Julia said something that came out in a hushed whisper.

"What was that, Julia?" Chilli asked.

Julia quietly repeated herself.

Bandit chuckled. "You're gonna have to speak up, babe, we can't understand ya"

"I-I...I'm pregnant!" Julia blurted out, her ears folding back and her tail drooping slightly as she squeezed her eyes shut, not exactly sure what sort of reaction to anticipate.

There was dead silence for what felt like an eternity before she felt Bandit squeeze her hand. "You...you're what?"

"...I-I'm pregnant"

There was another moment of silence before Bandit's tail began wagging, thumping against the armrest. "I'm, I'm gonna be a dad...again?!"

"Yes"

Bandit laughed loudly, startling Julia as he abruptly stood, scooping her into his arms and spinning her around, causing her to start laughing, all the tension rapidly leaving her body. "I take it this is a good thing?"

"A good thing?! Are you...I just...this is beyond a good thing, Jules!" He laughed, pulling her into a kiss. "God, I love you, I love you so much!"

Julia giggled, smiling into the kiss. "I love you too" she said quietly as they pulled apart, their tails wagging fast. She slowly turned to Chilli, who was still seated on the couch, smiling softly at her partners as tears welled up in her eyes. Julia's smile widened as she held her hand out toward her girlfriend, who was quick to take it, laughing as she was pulled to her feet and into their hug. "This baby is just as much yours as it is ours, Chilli. Remember what you both told me when I first moved in? This is no longer a two parent household"

The red heeler laughed quietly. "I remember...Oh darling, this is wonderful!" She gushed, pulling Julia into a kiss. The husky's tail wagged faster as she kissed back, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend, keeping her other arm around Bandit as she pulled him to her side, where he pressed a kiss to her cheek. The three of them stood there in a group hug, their tails all wagging as they each silently contemplated what this meant for their future. They were all excited for the baby, but at the same time, they had two young children already, and Bandit and Chilli in particular hadn't had to take care of a newborn in four years. But they were all generally thinking the same thing. That they could handle anything as long as they were together.

…

Julia shifted slightly, pulling the blanket up over herself a little more as she laid there, determined to get at least a little more sleep before Bandit got home with the girls. Chili was curled up beside her, her arm draped over the husky's waist as she hugged her from behind.

"Mm, morning, Jules" Chilli mumbled.

"Morning" Julia replied sleepily, moving to lie on her back, turning to meet Chilli's sleepy, yet loving gaze. How'd you sleep?"

"Not very well, honestly" Chilli said. "I can't stop thinking about the baby"

"I know, me neither" Julia giggled, smiling. Then just as suddenly as she was smiling, a frown crossed her face and she instantly started sniffing, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh, what's wrong, love?" Chilli asked gently, propping herself up on her elbow to look down at her girlfriend.

"N-Nothing" Julia mumbled, tears freely streaming down her face now. "Th-That's just it, everything is perfect!" She covered her mouth with her hand as the tears continued to flow, Chilli placing a hand over hers. "I-I just, I don't know what I did to deserve you and Bandit in my life, as my friends, and then my lovers...a-and now we're having a baby on top of the two wonderful children we already have..."

"Right? It's so exciting!" Chilli said. "And y'know Bandit and I are pretty lucky too...we have the most beautiful, amazing girlfriend anyone could ask for...who also happens to be our very best friend"

"Chilli..." Julia giggled, sniffing as she kept crying. "Y-You're making me cry even more!"

"It's just the hormones, babe" Chilli said, leaning down and kissing her cheek. "But everything I said is true...Bandit and I feel so incredibly lucky to have you. It wasn't exactly hard for either of us to fall in love with you"

"It w-wasn't hard for me to fall in love with you two e-either"

The women smiled at each other, their tails wagging as they snuggled back up together, pulling the blanket back up over them, their body heat relaxing them as they began to drift off to sleep, Julia's crying slowly subsiding into little sniffles.

"Mum! Mummy!" A familiar voice called, shrill giggles filling the room as Bluey and Bingo came running in, making a beeline for their parents' bed and jumping up on it, tackling Chilli and Julia in big hugs.

"Girls!" Julia laughed as she hugged Bluey while Chilli hugged Bingo, the girls switching moms after a few seconds. "Oh I missed you both so much!"

"We were only gone for the weekend, Mummy" Bluey giggled from her spot on Chilli's lap.

"But we still missed you too!" Bingo said, giggling as she and Bluey started jumping around on the bed.

"Easy with Mummy now, girls" Bandit said as he entered the room just in time to see Bluey jump onto Julia's lap.

"Why?" Bluey frowned, looking up at Julia worriedly. "Are you sick?"

"No no, nothing like that" Julia said quickly. "I just, well..." She glanced at Chilli, then at Bandit. She'd hoped to have been a little more awake before they broke the big news. "Should we tell them now?"

"Tell us what?" Bingo asked, both sisters looking back and forth from Bandit to their mothers.

"Yeah, what is it? Is it a surprise?!" Bluey asked excitedly, her tail wagging.

"Well, um..." Julia smiled a little. "Yes, yes we have a big surprise for you and your sister"

"YAY!" The girls chorused, giggling like mad.

"Let's go get some breakfast going" Chilli mumbled, yawning as she got up from bed, heading for the bathroom. "Just give me a few minutes, girls"

"Mummy, what's our surprise?" Bingo asked, climbing onto Julia's lap, making sure to be careful as her dad had instructed.

"Well if I told you now, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" Julia said, smiling as she abruptly pulled Bingo into a hug and tickled her, making the little girl laugh like mad.

"N-Nooo!" Bingo squealed.

"Alright you two, let's head downstairs and make some brekkie" Chilli said as she exited the bathroom, Bluey and Bingo hot on her heels, trying to get her to tell them what their surprise was.

"How're you feeling, hon?" Bandit asked Julia once they were alone in the room. "Looked like Bluey jumped on you kinda rough-"

"Oh no, she didn't, I promise" Julia said, chuckling as she leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry so much"

"Well of course I'm worrying too much, that's what expectant fathers do"

The husky snorted, smiling as she rolled her eyes. "Bandit, you're not a new father this time though, you've been through this before, twice"

"So?" Bandit smiled, wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her against his side. "I can't be concerned about the woman I love who happens to be carrying my child?"

"I swear you're just as bad as you were when Chilli was pregnant"

"Y'know, actually...you're right"

"You bet I am" Julia laughed, smiling and taking Bandit's hand in her own.

"Dad, Mummy, come downstairs! Mum won't tell us what our surprise is!" Bluey called.

"Seems we've been summoned" Bandit said, chuckling as he and Julia left the bedroom.

"We're coming, sweetheart!" Julia called as the two made their way downstairs.

The girls were running around the table, squealing and giggling as they chased each other, immediately rushing over to Julia as she and Bandit entered the kitchen. "Mummy, Mummy, will you tell us our surprise now?!" Bingo asked, her tail wagging like mad.

"Slow down, you two, we're not even seated yet" Bandit chuckled, pulling out a chair for Julia as she moved to sit at her usual spot at the table.

"Thank you, dear" Julia said, smiling as Chilli brought her a plate, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "And thank you, babe"

"You're very welcome, love"

"Mum, what's for brekkie?" Bluey asked as she and Bingo quickly moved to sit down, practically bouncing in their seats.

"Waffles!"

"What?!" The girls blurted out.

"But we hardly ever have waffles!" Bingo said.

"Well yes, but today is a special day"

"You mean because of our surprise?!"

"Yes, exactly"

The sisters giggled excitedly, their tails wagging fast. "Tell us already dad, mummies, we're gonna EXPLODE!"

"Okay, okay" Bandit said, laughing. "Just be patient and wait until mum sits down, alright?"

Chili was seated in a matter of minutes, everyone with a full plate of waffles in front of them. "Well, girls" Chilli started. "The big surprise is..." She glanced at Julia. "Honey, do you want to say it?"

"Yes, I'd like to, actually, thanks" Julia said, taking a deep breath as she looked at Bluey and Bingo, both girls' full attention locked on her now. "Girls, we've found out recently that, well, um..." She suddenly felt nervousness creeping up on her. Bandit and Chilli both reached out at about the same time, each of them covering one of her hands with one of their own. She smiled at her partners, who smiled back at her, silently encouraging her to continue. "...We've recently found out that..." She took another deep breath. "That mummy's having a baby..."

There was silence in the room for about ten whole seconds before Bluey suddenly jumped up out of her seat, startling everyone. "WE'RE HAVING A BABY?!" She shouted. "WE'RE GETTING A BABY SISTER?!"

"Or brother" Bandit said.

"A sister, a sister!" Bingo chimed in, giggling like crazy. "A little sister!"

"OH MY GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Bluey shouted, skirting around the table and hugging Julia tightly.

The husky chuckled, placing a hand on the girl's head. "So this is a good surprise?"

"Good?! It's THE BEST!" Bluey cheered, giggling. "I can't wait to meet our new sister!"

"Or brother" Chili said, smiling.

"Yeah yeah, or brother" Bluey mumbled. "But we won't have a brother, I just know it!"

"Oh you do, do you?" Bandit asked. "Because I'm fairly certain we're having a boy"

"How do you figure that?" Julia asked.

"A father can sense these things"

"Is that right" The husky laughed.

"Absolutely!"

"Nnnnoooo, dad, we don't want a brother, right, Bingo?"

"Yeah, we're having a sister!"

Julia chuckled, smiling as her family continued playfully debating the baby's gender as they ate. She felt a warm feeling in her chest as she finished her waffles, feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, with the best partners anyone could ask for and the most wonderful children any parents could want. She could recall a time in her life when she was only a family friend, pining for Bandit and Chilli from afar and longing to be more than friends with them both, but convinced that would never happen.

And now, as she sat there at the breakfast table, pregnant with her and Bandit's (and Chilli's) child, having lived in the Heeler family home for six months and and having been in a relationship with Bandit and Chilli for a little over a year, she was beginning to get overwhelmed by her emotions, tears blurring her vision.

"You okay, babe?" Bandit asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I-I'm alright" Julia said, laughing quietly, covering Bandit's hand with her own. "I was, was just thinking about h-how lucky I am to have you all, how thankful I am to be part of this family"

"We're glad you're part of our family too, mummy!" Bluey said, smiling and hugging Julia again. "Bingo and I are lucky because we have the two greatest mummies in the world!"

Julia laughed, smiling as Bingo jumped out of her seat and rushed to hug her too. Bandit was quick to join their embrace, Chilli right behind him. The four of them stood there surrounding the husky, holding her in a group hug, all their tails wagging as Julia hugged them all back, wrapping her arms around them as best she could, finding it a bit difficult, but manageable.

She truly couldn't have asked for a better family.

[drivenbywords]

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰.

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘫𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦." - Unknown

The sound of a ringtone going off caused me to flutter my eyes open, making them gaze around for a moment then look down at my watch for the time. 6:00am. Just about thirty minutes until my flight. I didn’t think this day was gonna come; last night, I had to give myself a long pep talk to try not to pussy out from doing this. I’m glad I didn’t because I had to do this. It was necessary for me and my sanity. I thought about doing this for a while, probably over a year now. Where I would just drop everything and leave; get away, find what I need, and be what I’ve always wanted to be. Happy. I couldn’t do much of that while staying here in New York. I couldn’t be very happy surrounded by my family. I couldn’t be near the places where trauma occurred, and I deserved a change in scenery. I didn’t even tell anyone about me leaving, I just left a note on the front door of the family house. No one was home so I took what I needed in boxes and bags before I headed to the airport. My parents were on a trip in Chicago and wouldn’t be back for a couple days, so when they see that, I’ll be long gone from their lives. They deserve it; not because they were terrible parents, but they deserved a better daughter. A better child.

All I took with me was my suitcase with a couple outfits and a new phone that I got with the last of my money the day before. I didn’t want anyone to come and look for me, especially my mother. She would turn the town upside down to try and find me and I didn’t want that. Even though it makes me choked up just thinking about the fear in her eyes and the pain from thinking of her daughter leaving, I still wanted to do this for myself. Even though I didn’t have a destination for a while, I finally did about a week ago when I booked this flight. California. So, I could finally meet her. My sister, my half-sister to be exact. Ryann.

I found out about Ryann months ago when I was cleaning my father’s office. It was cleaning day and my family knew I was thorough in my routines around the house. I opened a drawer to return the stapler to its original place, that was when my eyes caught a folder that wasn’t there before. I told myself not to look into it, but my curiosity got the best of me. There was a picture of my father with a little girl on his lap. But it wasn’t me and that brought out my confusion, even more when I saw more pictures of those two together. I saw another picture of the two of them waving at the camera, that was when I turned on the light to get a better look at her to see if I could recognize her. I saw some ink bleeding through the picture. I flipped it over to see the words, ‘Ryann and dad at the county fair.’ That turned my stomach to a complete 360 and I didn’t know if that was from anger or happiness. Anger from my father never having the heart to tell me the truth about it, or happiness from learning about another person in this dysfunctional circus called a family. After discovering more information on her, I took it to the internet and looked her up. Ryann Camryn Roberts. She moved and has lived in Charming, California after our dad and her mother broke up. I considered shooting her a message and letting her know about me and my story, but I thought I was gonna be just some fucking creep saying nonsense of ‘Hi, my name is Jennifer and I’m your half-sister. Tell me about yourself.’

But after a month, I finally got the balls to reach out through social media and introduce myself. I didn’t know what would happen, either she would be weirded out and not reply back or just scream at me and tell me that she didn’t want to do anything with our father. But it was neither; it was actually a pretty nice conversation. We were pretty similar when it came to sense of humor and the love we had for other people. Damn, she really was my sister. I mentioned I wanted to leave my hometown and get a fresh start, she mentioned that she had her own place and didn’t mind if I was there for a while. I promised to find a job to help with rent until I was able to get back on my feet and we went from there. Which led me to this point, in the airport, with a cup of hot chocolate that was quickly getting cold in one hand, and my ticket in the other hand, attempting to be patient to get the hell out of here and go across the country. I brought the paper cup up to my lips when a stranger decided to take a seat a chair apart from me. I did a quick glance to notice their long curly hair with a pair of glasses and a black ‘Nirvana’ top. Which made me give them an absentminded head nod towards their direction, acknowledging their shirt with a small smile. It was reciprocated with a nod and smile which was pretty adorable. They seemed to be around my age which made things more comfortable for me. We were in silence for a moment before I abnormally started the conversation between the two of us. 

“Nice shirt, great band. My dad bought me a lot of Nirvana shirts growing up, so I had somewhat of a large collection of those.” They expressed a chuckle, which brought another smile to my lips. They had a cute laugh, not gonna lie. “To be honest, I stole this from my brother. I packed everything up in my suitcase and had nothing to wear for the airport, so here we are.”

“Respect.” I brought a laugh out from my reply along with theirs, finally taking that sip of hot chocolate. After I swallowed the sip, I became bold and decided to talk more instead of just stopping from the short, small talk. “So where are you headed?”

“Denver. I’m going for a much-needed vacation from everything and wanted to go to one of my favorite places in the world, actually. I know; Denver out of all places, but I find some peace when I’m there. So why the hell not?” I shook my head gently at their reply with a shrug of the shoulder. “No judgment here. If you love that place and it brings you comfort, there’s no stopping you from getting what you want. Everyone deserves a vacation.”

Those words brought a smile on their lips which made me do the same. I did find the good in things from time and time again, I’m not always a pessimist. “Thank you,” they said, bringing out their phone to check the time before glancing around. It seemed like they were expecting more people to join, but I didn’t wanna ask or assume.

“So where are you go-” Their question was cut short due to the announcement ‘Good morning passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to LAX. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes. Thank you.’

I chuckled before getting up, taking my stuff from my lap while grabbing the handle of my suitcase. It wasn’t my turn to board yet, but I couldn’t help getting excited yet anxious for what was to come for me. I shrugged my shoulders with a slight wink towards the person that got my attention for a while, giving them a small smile before finally sharing my answer.

“Somewhere new.”

[starrystar]

Inexpert alt:

11

Alcohol ink background in sunset colors

The cancer surgeon was lovely, though. 

MD: Looks like three point three centimeters.

SB: Um, that number keeps going up for some reason…?

We had a long talk about Bob.

MD: Some tumors are like golden retrievers. They can still bite, but you don’t worry as much about them. Some are like rottweilers, and you have to train them very carefully because they can do a lot of damage. Yours is a rottweiler. 

Caption: Every rottie I’ve ever known was a big moosh, but it didn’t seem like the time. 

12

Purple background. Eat sentence is in a different bold font. 

There are four main types of breast cancer. Three of them eat hormones like estrogen. Then there’s the kind I got. Triple negative. 

SB: Fine, okay, you don’t need to have fonts about it. 

13

Teal alcohol ink background.

Only ten percent of breast cancers are triple negative. They are fast-growing, aggressive, and more likely to recur. 

SB: Great.

Quotation: We’re gonna hit this with everything we’ve got, the surgeon told me. 

In gold: Chemo

Bolded font: More chemo lumpectomy radiation

SB: That is indeed a lot.

14

Pink swirly background

Bob was stage two. Another two months, he’d have been stage three and making a run for the lymph nodes.

SB: Hang on, if it’s not eating hormones, then what’s it eating?

Ummm…

SB: It’s me, isn’t it. Great. 

Fortunately my lymph nodes looked clear.

SB: Thank god. When my grandma’s cancer got in her lymph nodes, her arm swelled up like a sausage. 

15

Red background

Fun fact: Bob was dead inside, and not just because I’m gen X. 

MD: The tumor is outstripping its blood supply, so the interior is mostly dead cells.

SB: Like an abscess?! 

MD: No, no. The surface is still alive. 

SB: Oh, so like the world’s shittiest malted milk ball? 

MD: Sigh. Yes. 

SB: With a cancerous chocolate shell!

I liked the surgeon. She was sweet and soft-spoken and clearly was expecting someone more traumatized. 

16

Green background

Quotation: It was nothing you did. You didn’t cause it and you couldn’t have prevented it. MD: It wouldn’t have been on your last mammogram. It probably wasn’t there four months ago. You caught it as early as humanly possible.

SB in gray: Except for that month I dicked around…

MD: Pardon?

SB: Nothing.

Quotation: I’m sending you to my oncologist. We’ve already discussed your treatment. 

SB: Your…?

Caption: She took off her scarf. Ah. Not a fashion statement, then. I suppose they don’t make recommendations better than that. 

17

Marbled background like pink quartz with gold vein

The oncologist wasn’t available for ten days. 

SB: I guess I’m glad they don’t think it’s serious enough to rush me into chemo tomorrow?

It was a very long ten days.

Captions: People on social media were really lovely. I read supportive comments whenever I could without crying. Publishers sent me flowers and bottles of wine. My husband was a saint. He always is, but more than usual.

18

Purple background

Captions: Some days,. I felt almost normal. But then I’d be watching a cartoon or taking the dog out and the little voice would say hey. Hey. you have cancer. 

I drew a face on bob in sharpie

Polaroid style image of a bruised boob with an angry toothy cartoon face drawn on it. 

I knew I’d potentially be out for months so I frantically finished a novel and edited another one and made changes on a third. 

SB: Gotta finish gotta finish gotta finish

19

Red and disturbingly fleshy background

Caption: My mom kept asking if there was anything she could do! Anything! After the twelfth time I told her to knock it off. Then I felt bad. Snapping at mom is like punching a small, well-meaning songbird. 

Mom: I didn’t think you’d want me to send you a pink ribbon decal…

SB: No, mom. I do not need to raise awareness of breast cancer. I am extremely aware of breast cancer right now. I have achieved maximum awareness.

I didn’t want to become someone whose whole life was about cancer.

Mom: Do you wan me to come stay with you? 

SB: Mom, you know I love you, but if you do, I will have to kill you.

Part 2 of The Saga of Bob!

Part I here

(Thank you to the multiple people who transcribed part 1–you rock on toast!)

Also, this is done with the Amazing Alcohol Inks 2.0 brush set in Procreate, which I love because they can look both like the super-non-threatening marbled platitude backgrounds you see in the doctor’s office AND viscera, depending on how hard you lean on the brush.

Part III coming soon to a Tumblr near you!