#I love drawing like a new facial feature and getting excited that I’ve figured out how to properly simplify it for my art style it’s so fun

[chibishortdeath]

This is based off of an audio clip from Silent Hill, a game I sadly have not gotten to play yet :(, but I saw someone else’s animation of the clip and got really inspired by it. Idk if I’ll ever actually animate this scene or anything, but it got me to draw Hector and Julia so it was worth it lol

[the-hunchback-of-notre-dame]

‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ at 25: An Oral History of Disney’s Darkest Animated Classic

Posted on Slashfilm on Monday, June 21st, 2021 by Josh Spiegel

“This Is Going to Change Your Life”

The future directors of The Hunchback of Notre Dame were riding high from the success of Beauty and the Beast. Or, at least, they were happy to be finished.

Gary Trousdale, director: After Beauty and the Beast, I was exhausted. Plus, Kirk and I were not entirely trusted at first, because we were novices. I was looking forward to going back to drawing.

Kirk Wise, director: It was this crazy, wonderful roller-coaster ride. I had all this vacation time and I took a couple months off.

Gary Trousdale: A little later, it was suggested: “If you want to get back into directing, start looking for a project. You can’t sit around doing nothing.”

Kirk Wise: [Songwriters] Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty had a pitch called Song of the Sea, a loose retelling of the Orpheus myth with humpback whales. I thought it was very strong.

Gary Trousdale: We were a few months in, and there was artwork and a rough draft. There were a couple tentative songs, and we were getting a head of steam.

Kirk Wise: The phone rang. It was Jeffrey [Katzenberg, then-chairman of Walt Disney Studios], saying, “Drop everything. I got your next picture: The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

Gary Trousdale: “I’ve already got Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz. You’re going to do this.” It wasn’t like we were given a choice. It was, “Here’s the project. You’re on.”

Kirk Wise: I was pleased that [Jeffrey] was so excited about it. I think the success of Beauty and the Beast had a lot to do with him pushing it our way. It would’ve been crazy to say no.

Gary Trousdale: What [Kirk and I] didn’t know is that Alan and Stephen were being used as bait for us. And Jeffrey was playing us as bait for Alan and Stephen.

Alan Menken, composer: Jeffrey made reference to it being Michael Eisner’s passion project, which implied he was less enthused about it as a story source for an animated picture.

Stephen Schwartz, lyricist: They had two ideas. One was an adaptation of Hunchback and the other was about whales. We chose Hunchback. I’d seen the [Charles Laughton] movie. Then I read the novel and really liked it.

Peter Schneider, president of Disney Feature Animation (1985-99): I think what attracted Stephen was the darkness. One’s lust for something and one’s power and vengeance, and this poor, helpless fellow, Quasimodo.

Roy Conli, co-producer: I was working at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles, doing new play development. I was asked if I’d thought about producing animation. I said, “Yeah, sure.”

Don Hahn, producer: The goose had laid lots of golden eggs. The studio was trying to create two units so they could have multiple films come out. Roy was tasked with something hard, to build a crew out of whole cloth.

Kirk Wise: The idea appealed to me because [of] the setting and main character. I worked with an elder story man, Joe Grant, [who] goes back to Snow White. He said, “Some of the best animation ideas are about a little guy with a big problem.” Hunchback fit that bill.

Gary Trousdale: It’s a story I always liked. When Jeffrey said, “This is going to change your life,” Kirk and I said, “Cool.” When I was a kid, I [had an] Aurora Monster Model of Quasimodo lashed to the wheel. I thought, “He’s not a monster.”

Don Hahn: It’s a great piece of literature and it had a lot of elements I liked. The underdog hero. [He] was not a handsome prince. I loved the potential.

Gary Trousdale: We thought, “What are we going to do to make this dark piece of literature into a Disney cartoon without screwing it up?”

Peter Schneider: The subject matter is very difficult. The conflict was how far to go with it or not go with it. This is basically [about] a pederast who says “Fuck me or you’ll die.” Right?

“We Were Able to Take More Chances”

Wise and Trousdale recruited a group of disparate artists from the States and beyond to bring the story of Quasimodo the bell-ringer to animated life.

Paul Brizzi, sequence director: We were freshly arrived from Paris.

Gaëtan Brizzi, sequence director: [The filmmakers] were looking for a great dramatic prologue, and they couldn’t figure [it] out. Paul and I spent the better part of the night conceiving this prologue. They said, “You have to storyboard it. We love it.”

Roy Conli: We had two amazing artists in Paul and Gaëtan Brizzi who became spiritual leaders in the production. They were so incredible.

Gaëtan Brizzi: [“The Bells of Notre Dame”] was not supposed to be a song first.

Paul Brizzi: The prologue was traditional in the Disney way. Gaëtan and I were thinking of German expressionism to emphasize the drama. I’m not sure we could do that today.

Paul Kandel, voice of Clopin: They were toying with Clopin being the narrator. So they wrote “The Bells of Notre Dame” to open the movie.

Stephen Schwartz: [Alan and I] got called into a presentation, and on all these boards [was] laid out “The Bells of Notre Dame.” We musicalized the story they put up there. We used the pieces of dialogue they invented for Frollo and the other characters. I wrote lyrics that described the narrative. It was very exciting. I had never written a song like that.

Kirk Wise: Early on, we [took] a research trip with the core creative team to Paris. We spent two weeks all over Notre Dame. They gave us unrestricted access, going down into the catacombs. That was a huge inspiration.

Don Hahn: To crawl up in the bell towers and imagine Quasimodo there, to see the bells and the timbers, the scale of it all is unbelievable.

Kirk Wise: One morning, I was listening to this pipe organ in this shadowy cathedral, with light filtering through the stained-glass windows. The sound was so powerful, I could feel it thudding in my chest. I thought, “This is what the movie needs to feel like.”

Brenda Chapman, story: It was fun to sit in a room and draw and think up stuff. I liked the idea of this lonely character up in a bell tower and how we could portray his imagination.

Kathy Zielinski, supervising animator, Frollo: It was the earliest I’ve ever started on a production. I was doing character designs for months. I did a lot of design work for the gargoyles, as a springboard for the other supervisors.

James Baxter, supervising animator, Quasimodo: Kirk and Gary said, “We’d like you to do Quasimodo.” [I thought] that would be such a cool, amazing thing to do. They wanted this innocent vibe to him. Part of the design process was getting that part of his character to read.

Will Finn, head of story/supervising animator, Laverne: Kirk and Gary wanted me on the project. Kirk, Gary, and Don Hahn gave me opportunities no one else would have, and I am forever grateful.

Kathy Zielinski: I spent several months doing 50 or 60 designs [for Frollo]. I looked at villainous actors. Actually, one was Peter Schneider. [laughing] Not to say he’s a villain, but a lot of the mannerisms and poses. “Oh, that looks a little like Peter.”

James Baxter: I was doing design work on the characters with Tony Fucile, the animator on Esmerelda. I think Kirk and Gary felt Beauty and the Beast had been disparate and the characters weren’t as unified as they wanted.

Kathy Zielinski: Frollo stemmed from Hans Conried [the voice of Disney’s Captain Hook]. He had a longish nose and a very stern-looking face. Frollo was modeled a little bit after him.

Will Finn: The team they put together was a powerhouse group – Brenda Chapman, Kevin Harkey, Ed Gombert, and veterans like Burny Mattinson and Vance Gerry. I felt funny being their “supervisor.”

Kathy Zielinski: Half my crew was in France, eight hours ahead. We were able to do phone calls. But because of the time difference, our end of the day was their beginning of the morning. I was working a lot of late hours, because [Frollo] was challenging to draw.

Kirk Wise: Our secret weapon was James Baxter, who animated the ballroom sequence [in Beauty and the Beast] on his own. He had a unique gift of rotating characters in three-dimensional space perfectly.

Gary Trousdale: James Baxter is, to my mind, one of the greatest living animators in the world.

James Baxter: I’ve always enjoyed doing things that were quite elaborate in terms of camera movement and three-dimensional space. I’m a glutton for punishment, because those shots are very hard to do.

Gary Trousdale: In the scene with Quasimodo carrying Esmeralda over his shoulder, climbing up the cathedral, he looks back under his arms, snarling at the crowd below. James called that his King Kong moment.

As production continued, Roy Conli’s position shifted, as Don Hahn joined the project, and Jeffrey Katzenberg left Disney in heated fashion in 1994.

Roy Conli: Jeffrey was going to create his own animation studio. Peter Schneider was interested in maintaining a relationship with Don Hahn. We were into animation, ahead of schedule. They asked Don if he would produce and if I would run the studio in Paris.

Don Hahn: Roy hadn’t done an animated film before. I was able to be a more senior presence. I’d worked with Kirk and Gary before, which I enjoy. They’re unsung heroes of these movies.

Kirk Wise: The [production] pace was more leisurely. As leisurely as these things can be. We had more breathing room to develop the storyboards and the script and the songs.

Gary Trousdale: Jeffrey never liked characters to have facial hair. No beards, no mustaches, nothing. There’s original designs of Gaston [with] a little Errol Flynn mustache. Jeffrey hated it. “I don’t want any facial hair.” Once he left, we were like, “We could give [Phoebus] a beard now.”

Kirk Wise: The ballroom sequence [in Beauty] gave us confidence to incorporate more computer graphics into Hunchback. We [had] to create the illusion of a throng of thousands of cheering people. To do it by hand would have been prohibitive, and look cheap.

Stephen Schwartz: Michael Eisner started being more hands-on. Michael was annoyed at me for a while, because when Jeffrey left, I accepted the job of doing the score for Prince of Egypt. I got fired from Mulan because of it. But once he fired me, Michael couldn’t have been a more supportive, positive colleague on Hunchback.

Kirk Wise: [The executives] were distracted. We were able to take more chances than we would have under the circumstances that we made Beauty and the Beast.

Don Hahn: Hunchback was in a league of its own, feeling like we [could] step out and take some creative risks. We could have done princess movies forever, and been reasonably successful. Our long-term survival relied on trying those risks.

One sticking point revolved around Notre Dame’s gargoyles, three of whom interact with Quasimodo, but feel more lighthearted than the rest of the dark story.

Gary Trousdale: In the book and several of the movies, Quasimodo talks to the gargoyles. We thought, “This is Disney, we’re doing a cartoon. The gargoyles can talk back.” One thing led to another and we’ve got “A Guy Like You.”

Kirk Wise: “A Guy Like You” was literally created so we could lighten the mood so the audience wasn’t sitting in this trough of despair for so long.

Stephen Schwartz: Out of context, the number is pretty good. I think I wrote some funny lyrics. But ultimately it was a step too far tonally for the movie and it has been dropped from the stage version.

Gary Trousdale: People have been asking for a long time: are they real? Are they part of Quasimodo’s personality? There were discussions that maybe Quasimodo is schizophrenic. We never definitively answered it, and can argue convincingly both ways.

Jason Alexander, voice of Hugo: I wouldn’t dream of interfering with anyone’s choice on that. It’s ambiguous for a reason and part of that reason is the viewers’ participation in the answer. Whatever you believe about it, I’m going to say you’re right.

Brenda Chapman: I left before they landed on how [to play] the gargoyles. My concern was, what are the rules? Are they real? Are they in his imagination? What can they do? Can they do stuff or is it all Quasi? I looked at it a little askance in the finished film. I wasn’t sure if I liked how it ended up…[Laverne] with the boa on the piano.

Kirk Wise: There was a component of the audience that felt the gargoyles were incompatible with Hunchback. But all of Disney’s movies, including the darkest ones, have comic-relief characters. And Disney was the last person to treat the written word as gospel.

“A Fantastic Opportunity”

After a successful collaboration on Pocahontas, Menken and Schwartz worked on turning Victor Hugo’s tragic story into a musical.

Alan Menken: The world of the story was very appealing, and it had so much social relevance and cultural nuance.

Stephen Schwartz: The story lent itself quite well to musicalization because of the extremity of the characters and the emotions. There was a lot to sing about. There was a great milieu.

Alan Menken: To embed the liturgy of the Catholic Church into a piece of music that’s operatic and also classical and pop-oriented enriches it in a very original way. Stephen was amazing. He would take the theme from the story and specifically set it in Latin to that music.

Stephen Schwartz: The fact that we were doing a piece set in a church allowed us to use all those elements of the Catholic mass, and for Alan to do all that wonderful choral music.

Alan Menken: The first creative impulse was “Out There.” I’m a craftsman. I’m working towards a specific assignment, but that was a rare instance where that piece of music existed.

Stephen Schwartz: I would come in with a title, maybe a couple of lines for Alan to be inspired by. We would talk about the whole unit, its job from a storytelling point of view. He would write some music. I could say, “I liked that. Let’s follow that.” He’d push a button and there would be a sloppy printout, enough that I could play it as I was starting the lyrics.

Roy Conli: Stephen’s lyrics are absolutely phenomenal. With that as a guiding light, we were in really good shape.

Stephen Schwartz: Alan played [the “Out There” theme] for me, and I really liked it. I asked for one change in the original chorus. Other than that, the music was exactly as he gave it to me.

Gary Trousdale: Talking with these guys about music is always intimidating. There was one [lyric] Don and I both questioned in “Out There,” when Frollo is singing, “Why invite their calumny and consternation?” Don and I went, “Calumny?” Kirk said, “Nope, it’s OK, I saw it in an X-Men comic book.” I went, “All right! It’s in a comic book! It’s good.”

Stephen Schwartz: Disney made it possible for me to get into Notre Dame before it opened to the public. I’d climb up the steps to the bell tower. I’d sit there with my yellow pad and pencil. I’d have the tune for “Out There” in my head, and I would look out at Paris, and be Quasimodo. By the time we left Paris, the song was written.

Kirk Wise: Stephen’s lyrics are really smart and literate. I don’t think the comical stuff was necessarily [his] strongest area. But this movie was a perfect fit, because the power of the emotions were so strong. Stephen just has a natural ability to connect with that.

Will Finn: The directors wanted a funny song for the gargoyles and Stephen was not eager to write it. He came to me and Irene Mecchi and asked us to help him think of comedy ideas for “A Guy Like You,” and we pitched a bunch of gags.

Jason Alexander: Singing with an orchestra the likes of which Alan and Stephen and Disney can assemble is nirvana. It’s electrifying and gives you the boost to sing over and over. Fortunately, everyone was open to discovery. I love nuance and intention in interpretation. I was given wonderful freedom to find both.

Stephen Schwartz: “Topsy Turvy,” it’s one of those numbers of musical theater where you can accomplish an enormous amount of storytelling. If you didn’t have that, you’d feel you were drowning in exposition. When you put it in the context of the celebration of the Feast of Fools, you could get a lot of work done.

Paul Kandel: The first time I sang [“Topsy Turvy”] through, I got a little applause from the orchestra. That was a very nice thing to happen and calm me down a little bit.

Brenda Chapman: Poor Kevin Harkey must’ve worked on “Topsy Turvy” for over a year. Just hearing [singing] “Topsy turvy!” I thought, “I would shoot myself.” It’s a fun song, but to listen to that, that many times. I don’t know if he ever got to work on anything else.

Paul Kandel: There were places where I thought the music was squarer than it needed to be. I wanted to round it out because Clopin is unpredictable. Is he good? Is he bad? That’s what I was trying to edge in there.

Kirk Wise: “God Help the Outcasts” made Jeffrey restless. I think he wanted “Memory” from Cats. Alan and Stephen wrote “Someday.” Jeffrey said, “This is good, but it needs to be bigger!” Alan was sitting at his piano bench, and Jeffrey was next to him. Jeffrey said, “When I want it bigger, I’ll nudge you.” Alan started playing and Jeffrey was jabbing him in the ribs. “Bigger, bigger!”

Don Hahn: In terms of what told the story better, one song was poetic, but the other was specific. “Outcasts” was very specific about Quasimodo. “Someday” was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

Kirk Wise: When Don watched the movie, he said, “It’s working pretty well. But ‘Someday,’ I don’t know. It feels like she’s yelling at God.” We played “God Help the Outcasts” for him and Don said, “Oh, this is perfect.” That song is the signature of the entire movie.

Don Hahn: “Someday” was lovely. But I had come off of working with Howard Ashman, and I felt, “This doesn’t move the plot forward much, does it?” We ended up with “Someday” as an end-credits song, which was fortunate. ‘Cause they’re both good songs.

Kirk Wise: It was all about what conveys the emotion of the scene and the central theme of the movie best. “God Help the Outcasts” did that.

Everyone agrees on one point.

Stephen Schwartz: Hunchback is Alan’s best score. And that’s saying a lot, because he’s written a whole bunch of really good ones.

Gary Trousdale: With Hunchback, there were a couple of people that said, “This is why I chose music as a career.” Alan and Stephen’s songs are so amazing, so that’s really something.

Paul Kandel: It has a beautiful score.

Jason Alexander: It has the singularly most sophisticated score of most of the animated films of that era.

Roy Conli: The score of Hunchback is one of the greatest we’ve done.

Don Hahn: This is Alan’s most brilliant score. The amount of gravitas Alan put in the score is amazing.

Alan Menken: It’s the most ambitious score I’ve ever written. It has emotional depth. It’s a different assignment. And it was the project where awards stopped happening. It’s almost like, “OK, now you’ve gone too far.”

Stephen Schwartz: It’s astonishing that Alan has won about 173 Academy Awards, and the one score he did not win for is his best score.

The film featured marquee performers singing covers of “God Help the Outcasts” and “Someday”. But one of the most famous performers ever nearly brought those songs to life.

Alan Menken: I met Michael Jackson when we were looking for someone to sing “A Whole New World” for Aladdin. Michael wanted to co-write the song. I could get a sense of who Michael was. He was a very unique, interesting individual…in his own world.

I get a call out of nowhere from Michael’s assistant, when Michael was at the Four Seasons Hotel in New York. He had to [deal with] allegations about inappropriate behavior with underage kids, and the breakup with Lisa Marie Presley. He’s looking to change the subject. And he obviously loves Disney so much. So I mentioned Hunchback. He said he’d love to come to my studio, watch the movie and talk about it. So we got in touch with Disney Animation. They said, “Meet with him! If he likes it…well, see what he says.” [laughing]

There’s three songs. One was “Out There,” one was “God Help the Outcasts,” one was “Someday.” Michael said, “I would like to produce the songs and record some of them.” Wow. Okay. What do we do now? Michael left. We got in touch with Disney. It was like somebody dropped a hot poker into a fragile bowl with explosives. “Uh, we’ll get back to you about that.”

Finally, predictably, the word came back, “Disney doesn’t want to do this with Michael Jackson.” I go, “OK, could someone tell him this?” You can hear a pin drop, no response, and nobody did [tell him]. It fell to my late manager, Scott Shukat, to tell Michael or Michael’s attorney.

In retrospect, it was the right decision. [But] Quasimodo is a character…if you look at his relationships with his family and his father, I would think there’s a lot of identification there.

“They’re Never Going to Do This Kind of Character Again”

The film is known for the way it grapples with the hypocrisy and lust typified by the villainous Judge Frollo, whose terrifying song “Hellfire” remains a high point of Disney animation.

Gary Trousdale: Somebody asked me recently: “How the hell did you get ‘Hellfire’ past Disney?” It’s a good question.

Alan Menken: When Stephen and I wrote “Hellfire,” I was so excited by what we accomplished. It really raised the bar for Disney animation. It raised the bar for Stephen’s and my collaboration.

Stephen Schwartz: I thought the would never let me get away with [“Hellfire”]. And they never asked for a single change.

Alan Menken: Lust and religious conflict. Now more than ever, these are very thorny issues to put in front of the Disney audience. We wanted to go at it as truthfully as possible.

Stephen Schwartz: When Alan and I tackled “Hellfire,” I did what I usually did: write what I thought it should be and assume that [Disney would] tell me what I couldn’t get away with. But they accepted exactly what we wrote.

Don Hahn: Every good song score needs a villain’s moment. Stephen and Alan approached it with “Hellfire.”

Alan Menken: It was very clear, we’d thrown the gauntlet pretty far. It was also clear within our creative team that everybody was excited about going there.

Don Hahn: You use all the tools in your toolkit, and one of the most powerful ones was Alan and Stephen. Stephen can be dark, but he’s also very funny. He’s brilliant.

Gary Trousdale: The [MPAA] said, “When Frollo says ‘This burning desire is turning me to sin,’ we don’t like the word ‘sin.’” We can’t change the lyrics now. It’s all recorded. Kinda tough. “What if we just dip the volume of the word ‘sin’ and increase the sound effects?” They said, “Good.”

Stephen Schwartz: It’s one of the most admirable things [laughs] I have ever seen Disney Animation do. It was very supportive and adventurous, which is a spirit that…let’s just say, I don’t think [the company would] make this movie today.

Don Hahn: It’s funny. Violence is far more accepted than sex in a family movie. You can go see a Star Wars movie and the body count’s pretty huge, but there’s rarely any sexual innuendo.

Kathy Zielinski: I got to watch [Tony Jay] record “Hellfire” with another actor. I was sweating watching him record, because it was unbelievably intense. Afterwards, he asked me, “Did you learn anything from my performance?” I said, “Yeah, I never want to be a singer.” [laughing]

Paul Kandel: Tony Jay knocked that out of the park. He [was] an incredible guy. Very sweet. He was terrified to record “Hellfire.” He was at a couple of my sessions. He went, “Oh my God, what’s going to happen when it’s my turn? I don’t sing. I’m not a singer. I never pretended to be a singer.” I said, “Look, I’m not a singer. I’m an actor who figured out that they could hold a tune.”

Kathy Zielinski: I listened to Tony sing “Hellfire” tons. I knew I had gone too far when, one morning, we were sitting at the breakfast table and my daughter, who was two or three at the time, started singing the song and doing the mannerisms. [laughs]

Don Hahn: We didn’t literally want to show [Frollo’s lust]. It turns into a Fantasia sequence, almost. A lot of the imagery is something you could see coming out of Frollo’s imagination. It’s very impressionistic. It does stretch the boundaries of what had been done before at Disney.

Kirk Wise: We stylized it like “Night on Bald Mountain.” The best of Walt’s films balanced very dark and light elements. Instead of making it explicit, we tried to make it more visual and use symbolic imagery.

Gaëtan Brizzi: We were totally free. We could show symbolically how sick Frollo is between his hate and his carnal desire.

Kathy Zielinski: The storyboards had a tremendous influence. Everybody was incredibly admiring of the work that [Paul and Gaëtan] had done.

Don Hahn: They brought the storyboarded sequence to life in a way that is exactly what the movie looks like. The strength of it is that we didn’t have to show anything as much as we did suggest things to the audience. Give the audience credit for filling in the blanks.

Gary Trousdale: It was absolutely gorgeous. Their draftsmanship and their cinematography. They are the top. They pitched it with a cassette recording of Stephen singing “Hellfire”, and we were all in the story room watching it, going “Oh shit!”

Paul Brizzi: When Frollo is at the fireplace with Esmeralda’s scarf, his face is hypnotized. From the smoke, there’s the silhouette of Esmeralda coming to him. She’s naked in our drawings.

Gary Trousdale: We joked, maybe because they’re French, Esmeralda was in the nude when she was in the fire. Roy Disney put his foot down and said, “That’s not going to happen.” Chris Jenkins, the head of effects, and I went over every drawing to make sure she was appropriately attired. That was the one concession we made to the studio.

Gaëtan Brizzi: It’s the role of storyboard artists to go far, and then you scale it down. Her body was meant to be suggestive. It was more poetic than provocative.

Brenda Chapman: I thought what the Brizzis did with “Hellfire” was just stunning.

Roy Conli: We make films for people from four to 104, and we’re trying to ensure that the thematic material engages adults and engages children. We had a lot of conversations on “Hellfire,” [which] was groundbreaking. You saw the torment, but you didn’t necessarily, if you were a kid, read it as sexual. And if you were an adult, you picked it up pretty well.

Will Finn: “Hellfire” was uncomfortable to watch with a family audience. I’m not a prude, but what are small kids to make of such a scene?

Kathy Zielinski: When I was working on “Hellfire,” I thought, “Wow. They’re never going to do this kind of character again.” And I’m pretty much right.

“Straight for the Heart”

“Hellfire” may be the apex of the maturity of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, but the entire film is the most complex and adult Disney animated feature of the modern era.

Gary Trousdale: We went straight for the heart and then pulled back.

Kirk Wise: I was comfortable with moments of broad comedy contrasted with moments that were dark or scary or violent. All of the Disney movies did that, particularly in Walt’s time.

Don Hahn: A lot of it is gut level, where [the story group would] sit around and talk to ourselves and pitch it to executives. But Walt Disney’s original animated films were really dark. We wanted to create something that had the impact of what animation can do.

Will Finn: Eisner insisted we follow the book to the letter, but he said the villain could not be a priest, and we had to have a happy ending. The book is an epic tragedy – everybody dies!

Kathy Zielinski: It’s a little scary that I felt comfortable with [Frollo]. [laughing] I don’t know what that means. Maybe I need to go to therapy. I’ve always had a desire to do villains. I just love evil.

Don Hahn: Kathy Zielinski is brilliant. She works on The Simpsons now, which is hilarious. She’s very intense, very aware of what [Frollo] had to do.

One specific choice in the relationship between Frollo and Esmeralda caused problems.

Stephen Schwartz: I remember there was great controversy over Frollo sniffing Esmeralda’s hair.

Kirk Wise: The scene that caused the most consternation was in the cathedral where Frollo grabs Esmeralda, whispers in her ear and sniffs her hair. The sniffing made people ask, “Is this too far?” We got a lot of support from Peter Schneider, Tom Schumacher, and Michael Eisner.

Kathy Zielinski: Brenda Chapman came up with that idea and the storyboard. I animated it. It’s interesting, because two females were responsible for that. That scene was problematic, so they had to cut it down. It used to be a lot longer.

Brenda Chapman: I know I’m probably pushing it too far, but let’s give it a go, you know?

Kirk Wise: We agreed it was going to be a matter of execution and our collective gut would tell us whether we were crossing the line. We learned that the difference between a G and PG is the loudness of a sniff. Ultimately, that’s what it came down to.

Brenda Chapman: I never knew that! [laughing]

Don Hahn: Is it rated G? That’s surprising.

Gary Trousdale: I’m sure there was backroom bargaining done that Kirk and I didn’t know about.

Don Hahn: It’s negotiation. The same was true of The Lion King. We had intensity notes on the fight at the end. You either say, we’re going to live with that and it’s PG, or we’re not and it’s G.

Brenda Chapman: I heard stories of little kids going, “Ewww, he’s rubbing his boogers in her hair!” [laughing] If that’s what they want to think, that’s fine. But there are plenty of adults that went, “Whoa!”

Don Hahn: You make the movies for yourselves, [but] we all have families, and you try to make something that’s appropriate for that audience. So we made some changes. Frollo isn’t a member of the clergy to take out any politicizing.

Gaëtan Brizzi: We developed the idea of Frollo’s racism against the gypsies. To feel that he desires Esmeralda and he wants to kill her. It was ambiguity that was interesting to develop. In the storyboards, Paul made [Frollo] handsome with a big jaw, a guy with class. They said he was too handsome. We had to break that formula.

Stephen Schwartz: I [and others] said, “It doesn’t make any sense for him to not be the Archdeacon, because what’s he doing with Quasimodo? What possible relationship could they have?” Which is what led to the backstory that became “The Bells of Notre Dame.”

Don Hahn: The things Frollo represents are alive and well in the world. Bigotry and prejudice are human traits and always have been. One of his traits was lust. How do you portray that in a Disney movie? We tried to portray that in a way that might be over kids’ heads and may not give them nightmares necessarily, but it’s not going to pull its punches. So it was a fine line.

Stephen Schwartz: Hugo’s novel is not critical of the church the way a lot of French literature is. It creates this character of Frollo, who’s a deeply hypocritical person and tormented by his hypocrisy.

Peter Schneider: I am going to be controversial. I think it failed. The fundamental basis is problematic, if you’re going to try and do a Disney movie. In [light of] the #MeToo movement, you couldn’t still do the movie and try what we tried to do. As much as we tried to soften it, you couldn’t get away from the fundamental darkness.

Don Hahn: Yeah, that sounds like Peter. He’s always the contrarian.

Peter Schneider: I’m not sure we should have made the movie, in retrospect. I mean, it did well, Kirk and Gary did a beautiful job. The voices are beautiful. The songs are lovely, but I’m not sure we should have made the movie.

Gaëtan Brizzi: The hardest part was to stick to the commercial side of the movie…to make sure we were still addressing kids.

Kirk Wise: We knew it was going to be a challenge to honor the source material while delivering a movie that would fit comfortably on the shelf with the other Disney musicals. We embraced it.

Roy Conli: I don’t think it was too mature. I do find it at times slightly provocative, but not in a judgmental or negative way. I stand by the film 100 percent in sending a message of hope.

Peter Schneider: It never settled its tone. If you look at the gargoyles and bringing in Jason Alexander to try and give comedy to this rather bleak story of a judge keeping a deformed young man in the tower…there’s so many icky factors for a Disney movie.

Jason Alexander: Some children might be frightened by Quasi’s look or not be able to understand the complexity. But what we see is an honest, innocent and capable underdog confront his obstacles and naysayers and emerge triumphant, seen and accepted. I think young people rally to those stories. They can handle the fearsome and celebrate the good.

Brenda Chapman: There was a scene where Frollo was locking Quasimodo in the tower, and Quasi was quite upset. I had to pull back from how cruel Frollo was in that moment, if I’m remembering correctly. I wanted to make him a very human monster, which can be scarier than a real monster.

Roy Conli: We walked such a tight line and we were on the edge and the fact that Disney allowed us to be on the edge was a huge tribute to them.

“Hear the Voice”

The story was set, the songs were ready. All that was left was getting a cast together to bring the characters’ voices to life.

Jason Alexander: Disney, Alan Menken, Stephen Schwartz, Victor Hugo – you had me at hello.

Paul Kandel: I was in Tommy, on Broadway. I was also a Tony nominee. So I had those prerequisites. Then I got a call from my agent that Jeffrey Katzenberg decided he wanted a star. I was out of a job I already had. I said, “I want to go back in and audition again.” I wanted to let them choose between me and whoever had a name that would help sell the film. So that series of auditions went on and I got the job back.

Kirk Wise: Everybody auditioned, with the exception of Kevin Kline and Demi Moore. We went to them with an offer. But we had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Meat Loaf.

Will Finn: Katzenberg saw Meat Loaf and Cher playing Quasimodo and Esmeralda – more of a rock opera. He also wanted Leno, Letterman, and Arsenio as the gargoyles at one point.

Kirk Wise: Meat Loaf sat with Alan and rehearsed the song. It was very different than what we ended up with, because Meat Loaf has a very distinct sound. Ultimately, I think his record company and Disney couldn’t play nice together, and the deal fell apart.

Gary Trousdale: We all had the drawings of the characters we were currently casting for in front of us. Instead of watching the actor, we’d be looking down at the piece of paper, trying to hear that voice come out of the drawing. And it was, we learned, a little disconcerting for some of the actors and actresses, who would put on hair and makeup and clothes and they’ve got their body language and expressions. We just want to hear the voice.

Kirk Wise: We cast Cyndi Lauper as one of the gargoyles. We thought she was hilarious and sweet. The little fat obnoxious gargoyle had a different name, and was going to be played by Sam McMurray. We had Cyndi and Sam record, and Roy Disney hated it. The quality of Cyndi’s voice and Sam’s voice were extremely grating to his ear. This is no disrespect to them – Cyndi Lauper is amazing. And Sam McMurray is very funny. But it was not working for the people in the room on that day.

Jason Alexander: The authors cast you for a reason – they think they’ve heard a voice in you that fits their character. I always try to look at the image of the character – his shape, his size, his energy and start to allow sounds, pitches, vocal tics to emerge. Then everyone kicks that around, nudging here, tweaking there and within a few minutes you have the approach to the vocalization. It’s not usually a long process, but it is fun.

Kirk Wise: We decided to reconceive the gargoyles. We always knew we wanted three of them. We wanted a Laurel and Hardy pair. The third gargoyle, the female gargoyle, was up in the air. I think it was Will Finn who said, “Why don’t we make her older?” As the wisdom-keeper. That led us to Mary Wickes, who was absolutely terrific. We thoroughly enjoyed working with Mary, and 98% of the dialogue is her. But she sadly passed away before we were finished.

Will Finn: We brought in a ton of voice-over actresses and none sounded like Mary. One night, I woke up thinking about Jane Withers, who had been a character actress in the golden age of Hollywood. She had a similar twang in her voice, and very luckily, she was alive and well.

Kirk Wise: Our first session with Kevin Kline went OK, but something was missing. It just didn’t feel like there was enough of a twinkle in his voice. Roy Conli said, “Guys, he’s an actor. Give him a prop.” For the next session, the supervising animator for Phoebus brought in a medieval broadsword. Before the session started, we said “Kevin, we’ve got a present for you.” We brought out this sword, and he lit up like a kid at Christmas. He would gesture with it and lean on it. Roy found the key there.

Gary Trousdale: Kevin Kline is naturally funny, so we may have [written] some funnier lines for him. When he’s sparring with Esmeralda in the cathedral and he gets hit by the goat. “I didn’t know you had a kid,” which is the worst line ever. But he pulls it off. He had good comic timing.

Kirk Wise: Tom Hulce had a terrific body of work, including Amadeus. But the performance that stuck with me was in Dominic and Eugene. There was a sensitivity and emotional reality to that performance that made us lean in and think he might make a good Quasimodo.

Gary Trousdale: [His voice] had a nice mix of youthful and adult. He had a maturity, but he had an innocence as well. We’re picturing Quasimodo as a guy who’s basically an innocent. It was a quality of his voice that we could hear.

Don Hahn: He’s one of those actors who could perform and act while he sang. Solo songs, especially for Quasimodo, are monologues set to music. So you’re looking for someone who can portray all the emotion of the scene. It’s about performance and storytelling, and creating a character while you’re singing. That’s why Tom rose to the top.

Stephen Schwartz: I thought Tom did great. I had known Tom a little bit beforehand, as an actor in New York. I’d seen him do Equus and I was sort of surprised. I just knew him as an actor in straight plays. I didn’t know that he sang at all, and then it turned out that he really sang.

Paul Kandel: [Tom] didn’t think of himself as a singer. He’s an actor who can sing. “Out There,” his big number – whether he’s going to admit it to you or not – that was scary for him. But a beautiful job.

Brenda Chapman: Quasimodo was the key to make it family-friendly. Tom Hulce did such a great job making him appealing.

Kirk Wise: Gary came back with the audiotape of Tom’s first session. And his first appearance with the little bird, where he asks if the bird is ready to fly…that whole scene was his rehearsal tape. His instincts were so good. He just nailed it. I think he was surprised that we went with that take. It was the least overworked and the most spontaneous, and felt emotionally real to us.

Kathy Zielinski: Early on, they wanted Anthony Hopkins to do the voice [of Frollo]. [We] did an animation test with a line of his from Silence of the Lambs.

Kirk Wise: We were thinking of Hannibal Lecter in the earliest iterations of Frollo. They made an offer, but Hopkins passed. We came full circle to Tony, because it had been such a good experience working with him on Beauty and the Beast. It was the combination of the quality of his voice, the familiarity of working with him, and knowing how professional and sharp he was.

Though the role of Quasimodo went to Tom Hulce (who did not respond to multiple requests for comment), there was one audition those involved haven’t forgotten.

Kirk Wise: We had a few people come in for Quasimodo, including Mandy Patinkin.

Stephen Schwartz: That was a difficult day. [laughing]

Kirk Wise: Mandy informed Alan and Stephen that he brought his own accompanist, which was unexpected because we had one in the room. He had taken a few liberties with [“Out There”]. He had done a little rearranging. You could see Alan’s and Stephen’s spines stiffen. It was not the feel that Alan and Stephen were going for. Stephen pretty much said so in the room. I think his words were a little sharper and more pointed than mine.

Stephen Schwartz: I’ve never worked with Mandy Patinkin. But I admired Evita and Sunday in the Park with George. He came in to audition for Quasimodo. When I came in, Ben Vereen was sitting in the hallway. Ben is a friend of mine and kind of a giant star. I felt we should be polite in terms of bringing him in relatively close to the time for which he was called.

Mandy took a long time with his audition, and asked to do it over and over again. If you’re Mandy Patinkin, you should have enough time scheduled to feel you were able to show what you wanted to show. However, that amount of time was not scheduled. At a certain point, I became a bit agitated because I knew Ben was sitting there, cooling his heels. I remember asking [to] move along or something. That created a huge contretemps.

Kirk Wise: Gary and I stepped outside to work on a dialogue scene with Mandy. As we were explaining the scene and our take on the character, Mandy threw up his hands and said, “Guys, I’m really sorry. I can’t do this.” He turned on his heel and went into the rehearsal hall and shut the door. We started hearing an intense argument. He basically went in and read Alan and Stephen the riot act. The door opens, smoke issuing from the crater that he left inside. Mandy storms out, and he’s gone. We step back in the room, asking, “What the hell happened?”

Gary Trousdale: I did a drawing of it afterwards. The Patinkin Incident.

Stephen Schwartz: Battleship Patinkin!

“Join the Party”

The darkness in the film made it difficult to market. Even some involved acknowledged the issue. In the run-up to release, Jason Alexander said to Entertainment Weekly, “Disney would have us believe this movie’s like the Ringling Bros., for children of all ages. But I won’t be taking my 4-year old. I wouldn’t expose him to it, not for another year.”

Alan Menken: There was all the outrage about Jason Alexander referring to it as a dark story that’s not for kids. Probably Disney wasn’t happy he said that.

Jason Alexander: Most Disney animated films are entertaining and engaging for any child with an attention span. All of them have elements that are frightening. But people are abused in Hunchback. These are people, not cute animals. Some children could be overwhelmed by some of it at a very young age. My son at the time could not tolerate any sense of dread in movies so it would have been hard for him. However, that is certainly not all children.

Don Hahn: I don’t think Jason was wrong. People have to decide for themselves. It probably wasn’t a movie for four-year olds. You as a parent know your kid better than I do.

If everyone agrees the score is excellent, they also agree on something that was not.

Alan Menken: God knows we couldn’t control how Disney marketing dealt with the movie, which was a parade with Quasimodo on everybody’s shoulders going, “Join the party.” [laughing]

Roy Conli: I always thought “Animation comes of age” would be a great [tagline]. I think the marketing ended up, “Join the party.”

Brenda Chapman: Marketing had it as this big party. And then you get into the story and there’s all this darkness. I think audiences were not expecting that, if they didn’t know the original story.

Kathy Zielinski: It was a hard movie for Disney to merchandise and sell to the public.

Gaëtan Brizzi: People must have been totally surprised by the dramatic sequences. The advertising was not reflecting what the movie was about.

Stephen Schwartz: To this day, they just don’t know how to market “Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame.” I understand what their quandary is. They have developed a brand that says, “If you see the word Disney on something, it means you can take your 6-year old.” You probably shouldn’t even take your 8-year old, unless he or she is very mature, to Hunchback.

Alan Menken: We [Disney] had such a run of successful projects. It was inevitable there was going to be a time where people said, “I’ve seen all those, but what else is out there?” I had that experience sitting at a diner with my family, overhearing a family talk about Hunchback and say, “Oh yeah, we saw Beauty and Aladdin, but this one…let’s see something else.”

Stephen Schwartz: I did have a sense that some in the critical community didn’t know how to reconcile animation and an adult approach. They have the same attitude some critics have about musicals. “It’s fine if it’s tap-dancing and about silly subjects. But if it’s something that has intellectual import, you can’t do that.” Obviously we have Hamilton and Sweeney Todd and Wicked. Over the years, that’s changed to some extent, but not for everybody.

Roy Conli: Every film is not a Lion King. [But] if that story has legs and will touch people, then you’ve succeeded.

Kirk Wise: We were a little disappointed in its initial weekend. It didn’t do as well as we hoped. We were also disappointed in the critical reaction. It was well-reviewed, but more mixed. Roger Ebert loved us. The New York Times hated us! I felt whipsawed. It was the same critic [Janet Maslin] who praised Beauty and the Beast to the high heavens. She utterly shat on Hunchback.

Don Hahn: We had really good previews, but we also knew it was out of the box creatively. We were also worried about the French and we were worried about the handicapped community and those were the two communities that supported the movie the most.

Will Finn: I knew we were in trouble when the first trailers played and audiences laughed at Quasimodo singing “Out There” on the roof.

Kirk Wise: All of us were proud of the movie on an artistic level. In terms of animation and backgrounds and music and the use of the camera and the performances. It’s the entire studio operating at its peak level of performance, as far as I’m concerned.

Gary Trousdale: I didn’t think people were going to have such a negative reaction to the gargoyles. They’re a little silly. And they do undercut the gravity. But speaking with friends who were kids at the time, they have nothing but fond memories. There were adults, high school age and older when they saw it, they were turned off. We thought it was going to do really great. We thought, “We’re topping ourselves.” It’s a sophisticated story and the music is amazing.

Kirk Wise: The 2D animated movies used to be released before Christmas [or] Thanksgiving. The Lion King changed that. Now everything was a summer release. I always questioned the wisdom of releasing Hunchback in the summertime, in competition with other blockbusters.

Paul Kandel: It made $300 million and it cost $80 million to make. So they were not hurting as far as profits were concerned. But I thought it was groundbreaking in so many ways that I was surprised at the mixed reviews.

Kirk Wise: By most measures, it was a hit. I think The Lion King spoiled everybody, because [it] was such a phenomenon, a bolt from the blue, not-to-be-repeated kind of event.

Gary Trousdale: We were getting mixed reviews. Some of them were really good. “This is a stunning masterpiece.” And other people were saying, “This is a travesty.” And the box office was coming in, not as well as hoped.

Don Hahn: I was in Argentina doing South American press. I got a call from Peter Schneider, who said, “It’s performing OK, but it’s probably going to hit 100 million.” Which, for any other moviemaker, would be a goldmine. But we’d been used to huge successes. I was disappointed.

Peter Schneider: I think it was a hit, right? It just wasn’t the same. As they say in the theater, you don’t set out to make a failure.

Don Hahn: If you’re the New York Yankees, and you’ve had a winning season where you could not lose, and then people hit standup singles instead of home runs…that’s OK. But it has this aura of disappointment. That’s the feeling that’s awful to have, because it’s selfish. Animation is an art, and the arts are meant to be without a price tag hanging off of them all the time.

Paul Brizzi: We are still grateful to Kirk and Gary and Don. We worked on [Hunchback] for maybe a year or a year and a half. Every sequence, we did with passion.

Gaëtan Brizzi: Our work on Hunchback was a triumph of our career.

Kathy Zielinski: There are certainly a whole crowd of people who wish we had not [done] the comedy, because that wasn’t faithful. That’s the main complaint I heard – we should’ve gone for this total dramatic piece and not worried about the kiddies.

Gaetan Brizzi: The only concern we had was the lack of homogeneity. The drama was really strong, and the [comedy] was sometimes a little bit goofy. It was a paradox. When you go from “Hellfire” to a big joke, the transition was not working well. Otherwise, we were very proud.

James Baxter: We were happy with what we did, but we understood it was going to be a slightly harder sell. The Hunchback of Notre Dame usually doesn’t engender connotations like, “Oh, that’s going to be a Disney classic.” I was very happy that it did as well as it did.

Jason Alexander: I thought it was even more mature and emotional on screen. It was an exciting maturation of what a Disney animated feature could be. I was impressed and touched.

“An Undersung Hero”

25 years later, The Hunchback of Notre Dame endures. The animated film inspired an even darker stage show that played both domestically and overseas, and in recent years, there have been rumors that Josh Gad would star as Quasimodo in a live-action remake.

Alan Menken: I think it’s a project that with every passing year will more and more become recognized as a really important part of my career.

Stephen Schwartz: This will be immodest, but I think it’s a really fine adaptation. I think it’s the best musical adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel, and there have been a lot. I think the music is just unbelievably good. I think, as a lyricist, I was working at pretty much the top of my form. I have so many people telling me it’s their favorite Disney film.

Alan Menken: During the pandemic, there was this hundred-piece choir doing “The Bells of Notre Dame.” People are picking up on it. It’s the combination of the storytelling and how well the score is constructed that gets it to longevity. If something is good enough, it gets found.

Paul Kandel: I think people were more sensitive. There was an expectation that a new Disney animated film would not push boundaries at all, which it did. For critics, it pushed a little too hard and I don’t think they would think that now. It’s a work of art.

Gaëtan Brizzi: Hunchback is poetic, because of its dark romanticism. We have tons of animated movies, but I think they all look alike because of the computer technique. This movie is very important in making people understand that hate has no place in our society, between a culture or people or a country. That’s the message of the movie, and of Victor Hugo himself.

Jason Alexander: I think it’s an undersung hero. It’s one of the most beautiful and moving animated films. But it is not the title that lives on everyone’s tongue. I think more people haven’t seen this one than any of the others. I adore it.

Peter Schneider: What Disney did around this period [is] we stopped making musicals. I think that was probably a mistake on some level, but the animators were bored with it.

Don Hahn: You know people reacted to Beauty and the Beast or The Lion King. They were successful movies in their day. You don’t know the reaction to anything else. So when [I] go to Comic-Con or do press on other movies, people started talking about Hunchback. “My favorite Alan Menken score is Hunchback.” It’s always surprising and delightful.

Kirk Wise: I’ve had so many people come up to me and say, “This is my absolute favorite movie. I adored this movie as a kid. I wore out my VHS.” That makes all the difference in the world.

Paul Kandel: Sitting on my desk right now are four long letters and requests for autographs. I get 20 of those a week. People are still seeing that film and being moved by it.

Alan Menken: Now there’s a discussion about a live-action film with Hunchback. And that’s [sighs] exciting and problematic. We have to, once again, wade into the troubled waters of “What is Disney’s movie version of Hunchback?” Especially now.

Jason Alexander: Live action could work because the vast majority of characters are human. The story of an actual human who is in some ways less abled and who is defined by how he looks, rather than his heart and character, is timely and important, to say the least.

Kirk Wise: I imagine if there were a live-action adaptation, it would skew more towards the stage version. That’s just my guess.

Stephen Schwartz: I think it would lend itself extremely well to a live-action movie, particularly if they use the stage show as the basis. I think the stage show is fantastic.

Kirk Wise: It’s gratifying to be involved in movies like Beauty and the Beast and Hunchback that have created so much affection. But animation is as legitimate a form of storytelling as live-action is. It might be different, but I don’t think it’s better. I feel like [saying], “Just put on the old one. It’s still good!”

Gary Trousdale: There were enough versions before. Somebody wants to make another version? Okay. Most people can tell the difference between the animated version and a live-action reboot. Mostly I’m not a fan of those. But if that’s what Disney wants to do, great.

Don Hahn: It’s very visual. It’s got huge potential because of its setting and the drama, and the music. It’s pretty powerful, so it makes sense to remake that movie. I think we will someday.

Brenda Chapman: It’s a history lesson. Now that Notre Dame is in such dire straits, after having burned so badly, hopefully [this] will increase interest in all that history.

James Baxter: It meant two children. I met my wife on that movie. [laughs] In a wider sense, the legacy is another step of broadening the scope of what Disney feature animation could be.

Kirk Wise: Hunchback is the movie where the final product turned out closest to the original vision. There was such terrific passion by the crew that carried throughout the process.

Roy Conli: It’s one of the most beautiful films we’ve made. 25 years later, I’d say “Join the party.” [laughs]

[dp-marvel94]

The Mystery Shack Spooks- Part 5

For Holiday Truce 2020

Summary:  Elle Fenton had hoped for a normal summer, a chance to make normal friends with people who know nothing about her crazy family, ghosts, or, most importantly, her status as a clone. But ghosts always seem to find her, even in Gravity Falls. Now the Mystery Shack is haunted by a unknown apparition with an unknown connection to Dipper and Mabel, and to Elle herself. The half ghost struggles to open up to her new friends and to find a way to help this lonely ghost.

Part 1 -> Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4 -> Part 5 (Here)

Also on AO3 and fanfiction.net

Note: As I'm sure you can see, this story now has an actual title! Credit to MagicalEevee on AO3 for that. And so here's the last chapter! Enjoy and feel free to let me know what you think!

Again, Elle woke up to sunlight streaming through her window. She blinked up at the ceiling, remembering last night. Her conversation with Dipper, watching the boy and his clone’s reunion, talking to Danny on the phone. And Danny’s idea, using ectoplasm to help Tyrone. Tentatively, hope crept into her heart. Maybe, just maybe this could work. She just had to figure out where the other ghost was.

Sitting up, she called softly. “Tyrone?” 

Again, her room was silent and bare as ever. Closing her eyes, she weakly reached out with her ghost sense. Sadly, she sensed nothing. Not too surprising though. Tracking a ghost once she’s sensed it was one thing. Reaching out to sensing another’s core when it was too far away or too weak was another. 

Elle’s brow furrowed in thought; where exactly was the other ghost? Actually, where did he go when he wasn’t hanging around her? Or where would he have gone after hanging out with Dipper? 

Suddenly, her core stirred in her chest. Cold air swirled in her lungs. 

“Ty?” She questioned.

A moment later, a misty figure phased through the ceiling. Elle frowned, eyes falling on the other ghost. Again, his form was fuzzy and indistinct, blurring his facial features.

Tyrone tilted his head. His static voice formed a question that was probably ‘what?’

The half ghost’s shoulders fell. “I can't see your face now.” She sighed. “I guess Danny was right. The reason me and Dipper could actually see you yesterday was ‘cause it was your...deathday.”

The clone shifted nervously at the last word. Then he asked. “Da...nny?”

“Yeah.” Elle rubbed the back of her neck. “I talked to my brother about everything that happened yesterday. Ya know, figuring out who you are, telling the twins about my powers, Dipper finding out about you.” Her eyes lit up, remembering. “Oh, how did that go? You and him hanging out.”

Tyrone’s head popped up, his gaze fixing on her. He waved his hands, his voice tilted up in happiness.

The girl raised a brow. “So I guess it went well?”

The boy nodded his head enthusiastically.

“That’s good.” The corner of Elle’s mouth turned up but then she turned more serious. “I’m sorry about….” She motioned up and down the other ghost’s body. “But...the good thing is...Danny had an idea about how to help you stay solid.” Tyrone brightened, almost literally as the girl continued. “So I really should have thought of this earlier but...we were thinking ectoplasm.”

The ghost boy titled his head, questioningly.

“Here let me show you.” With that, the half ghost stood up and retrieved one of her bags. She pulled out a vial of glowing green liquid. “Basically...this is what ghosts are made of. We get energy from ectoplasm. Without it, we’ll get weaker and less solid….or at least regular ghosts do. I’m not sure about me. But anyway….” She held the vial out to him. “Do you want to try some?”

Tyrone floated forward, studying the vial. He shifted nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It can’t hurt you.” Elle softly said, trying to guess why the boy was anxious. 

The other ghost muttered something sheepishly; Elle could imagine him biting his lip.

The girl’s expression softened as she suggested. “Do you want me to go find Dipper and Mabel and see what they think? Wait...does Mabel even know that you're well...you?"

Tyrone shook his head.

“Oh…” Elle frowned. “We should probably tell her.”

The other ghost titled his head back and forth before nodding in agreement. 

“Okay. How about I go get the two of them and-”

Just then, Mabel’s voice yelled up the stairs. “Elle! Come down to breakfast! There’s bacon!”

“And pancakes!” Shouted Dipper.

At the proclamation, the half ghost finally noticed the delicious scents drifting up the stairs. Her stomach growled in demand for food and she frowned down at it. “I should be getting down there. But…” She glanced back at Tyrone.

The boy waved her off. “Can wait.”

“Are you sure?” Elle bit her lip. He nodded and the half ghost took a breath. “Okay. I’ll go down stairs. We’ll have breakfast. Me and Dipper will tell Mabel about you. I’ll tell them the ectoplasm idea. Then we’ll come back upstairs.”

Tyrone nodded again and gave her a thumbs up.

With that, the girl headed for the door. “Hang tight. I’ll see you in a bit.”

With a wave which the other ghost returned, Elle exited the room. She walked down the hall towards the stairs. She’d just turned the corner to start descending when she almost ran into Dipper.

The boy stopped suddenly. “Oh, I was just coming to get you.”

Elle nodded. “Yeah, I’m coming.” Dipper turned around and they started down the stairs. The girl swallowed. “So...I was talking to Tyrone just now.”

The boy stopped, turning to face her again. “Tyrone? That’s...That really happened last night, didn’t it? He’s really back?” Though his eyes shone with happiness, he sounded like he could hardly believe it.

“It’s really him.” Elle confirmed.

Dipper shook his head. “Man….I half thought I just dreamed it but…..it’s really him.” He smiled.

“Yeah….and I think I have an idea to deal with his tangibility problem.”

The boy’s smile widened. “Really?!”

“Yep. I can tell you and your sister in a bit.”

“My sister?” Dipper blinked at her, suddenly startled.

“Yeah. Your sister. We need to tell Mabel. Ty wanted to, too.”

“He did?” He added, somewhat disbelievingly.

“I mean…he nodded when I asked about telling her.” Elle shrugged. “Actually talking’s still kinda hit or miss for him. But...my idea might help with that too.”

Dipper nodded soberly. “Okay. We can tell her. Come on.”

The pair continued down the stairs and into the kitchen. There they found Mabel pouring syrup on her pancakes. 

“There you guys are.” Mabel smiled teasingly. “I was just about to eat all your pancakes.” She stuffed a heaping amount into her mouth and chewed.

Elle chuckled at the display. She grabbed her own plate and took a seat beside the other girl. As she grabbed a few pancakes, she asked. “Where are your Grunkles?”

Mabel shrugged. “Out somewhere. Grunkle Stan said to call his cell phone only if zombies attack the Shack again and Soos can’t handle it.”

That earned another laugh from the half ghost. Across from her, Dipper was not so jovial.

Mabel tilted her head. “What’s got you down, Dip-dip?”

The boy sighed. “Mabel...I’ve gotta tell you something, something I should have first thing this morning.”

At the serious tone, Elle frowned, a spike of guilt poking her heart. 

Mabel also sobered. “What is it?”

Dipper swallowed. “Elle and I found out who the ghost haunting the Shack is and….” He trailed off.

Elle continued for him, taking a deep breath. “Mabel...it’s Tyrone.”

The girl’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean, it’s Tyrone?”

“It’s Tyrone.” Her brother said more confidently. “The ghost who’s been haunting the Shack is Tyrone.”

Mabel blinked in confusion. “Tyrone?....Your clone, Tyrone? But that’s...that’s impossible.”

“I know but...it’s him.” Dipper’s more serious expression started to crack. “I actually saw his face last night.”

The girl’s mouth fell open. “You saw him. Tyrone? Our Tyrone?”

Elle’s brow furrowed; our Tyrone? But she nodded eagerly. “I saw him yesterday too.”

“And I talked with him.” Dipper’s eyes lit up. “Or...as much as we could with body language and short phrases. But it’s really him, Mabel.”

His sister’s eyes continued to widen, her face frozen with shock. “Wow.” She whispered, excitement growing. “That’s amazing! He’s….he’s really alive?!”

Just like that, Dipper shut down. “No...He’s not...I mean...he is a ghost.”

“Oh.” Mabel looked down, face reddening with shame.

The twins’ eyes both focused down, expression heavy with sadness. It hurt Elle’s heart, to see them so subdued after Dipper’s happiness and Mabel’s growing excitement.

“You know….” Elle said kindly, trying to draw the twins out of their somber mood. “With ghosts…it’s not always as simple as dead or alive.”

Dipper frowned, eyes narrowing. “Because half ghosts are a thing?”

“Well yes but...” The halfa shrugged sheepishly. “That’s not the point. Ghosts are complicated. There are different kinds of ghosts. There’s some that are born ghosts from parents that are ghosts. There’s ghosts that just kinda spring out of the ectoplasm from emotions and thoughts and beliefs.” She swallowed. “And yeah, there are ghosts that were once living humans but...I’ve talked to some of those and….some would tell you becoming a ghost was a second chance for them. Yeah, they died and their life as a human ended but...they got to start a new life. They get to do and see things they couldn’t before. They get to find love or a family. They learn and grow and explore and...it’s not so bad.”

The boy’s nose wrinkled in thought. “Okay, I get that, I guess. But...where does Tyrone fit in all this?”

“Well...Ty never was human.” Elle said softly. “He didn’t get much of a chance to live before but...he’s here now and that’s what matters.”

For a moment, neither of the other teens responded, both studying the half ghost thoughtfully. 

Then to Elle’s surprise, Mabel spoke first. “Yeah, that is what matters.” A smile crept onto her face. “I’m actually gonna meet this Tyrone that Dipper told us all about.”

“Yeah.” Elle nodded, also smiling.

“Yeah.” Dipper parroted, though a thoughtful look remained on his face. “Elle….” He bit his lip. “Where do you fit into all of this?”

The half ghost blinked. “What?”

“With ghosts I mean. You said there are different kinds and….yesterday you told us you weren’t dead so...where do you fit?” 

The look on his face, the tone was innocently curious, not probing. But Elle’s stomach flopped with nerves all the same. Where did she fit? That was an impossible question. 

Dipper apparently noticed her anxiety. “I’m sorry. That’s personal.” His face reddened with shame. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No.” Elle shook her head. “It’s...it is personal but….I’ll tell you guys.” She sighed. “I don’t really know where I fit with other ghosts. I’ve never died. Obviously, my parents aren’t ghosts. And…I didn’t just spontaneously appear one day. Well...maybe that last one’s not completely true.” She smiled wryly. “I did kinda randomly show up in Danny’s room one day.”

Across from her, Mabel actually snorted. But Dipper blinked at her confusedly. “What are you...?”

Elle’s smile fell, realizing how weird what she just said was and...where this conversation was inevitably going. She needed to tell them the rest of the truth….and she would. Elle wrung her hands nervously before squaring her shoulders and steeling herself. “I...I didn’t tell you everything yesterday. Actually, I left out something really important but...I decided last night, I’m gonna tell you guys ‘cause I trust you and I know you won’t think any less of me because of it.”

That sobered the other girl, who’s eyes widened. “Elle…”

The half ghost held up her hand. “Let me finish before I chicken out.” She took a deep breath. “So..I told you yesterday that I’m half ghost because someone experimented on me. And that’s technically true but...it’s less I was experimented on and more...I was an experiment.” The girl paused, taking in the twin’s deeply concerned and slightly disturbed expressions. And….she was likely to make it worse.

No...the girl chastised herself. What she’s said earlier was true; she trusted Dipper and Mabel. 

“What do you mean, you were an experiment?” Dipper asked, quietly.

Elle swallowed, looking down. “I wasn’t...I wasn’t born like a normal human.” She painfully forced out the words.  “I was….made in a lab.” 

Pausing, the halfa looked up to to gauge the twin’s reactions. She found Mabel staring at her with wide eyes.  Dipper opened and closed his mouth in disbelief. “You were...made in a lab?”

Elle nodded in confirmation. “The bad man I told you about….his name was Vlad...he...well...he wanted a half ghost lackey to boss around. He tried to get Danny to join him but he wasn’t having it. So Vlad decided he was...kinda going to... make his own halfa. He made a bunch of clones and I’m the only one who survived ...so” She trailed off. 

Again, the twins stared at her in shock.

“Dipper? Mabel?” She asked quietly.

Dipper finally reacted. “But that’s…” He put a hand on his head. “That’s crazy. That’s...How would someone do that and...why?...You said why… But….”

Mabel swallowed, looking at the girl seriously. “You mentioned Danny, again. What does he have to do with this?”

Elle frowned. Of everything to pick up from her ramble, Mabel noticed that. And that….that was the question. Because she’d barely mentioned the big thing, the big secret. Bracing herself, the girl wrung her hands. “Danny….Danny’s the person I was cloned from.”

Dipper’s startled eyes suddenly met hers. “What?”

“I’m a clone. Danny’s clone.” She said with as much confidence as she could muster.

“You’re a clone?” The boy’s jaw dropped. “A clone? Really? You’re a clone?”

Elle shivered. “Yes...you can stop saying that word now.”

“What word?...Oh…” The boy blushed. “So you’re...you’re like Tyrone.”

“Pretty much. I mean…” The girl shrugged. “I came from weird ghost science, not a magical copier but...yeah, we’re not that different.”

At that, the boy nodded. Beside him, Mabel asked. “And the person you were...cloned...” She hesitated on the word clone for a moment before continuing. “from is Danny? The one you’ve talked about and you showed me a picture of?”

Elle nodded in response.

Then Dipper frowned, stating plainly. “You told us Danny was your brother.”

The half ghost crossed her arms, glaring seriously. “He is my brother.”

“But-” The boy started.

“Look.” Elle held up a hand, cutting him off. ”Yeah, I’m his clone and he’s my original. But that doesn’t mean we’re not siblings too. Actually…” She uncrossed her arms. “We’re siblings first..because we’ve chosen to be. That’s more important than where I came from or how we meet.”

Elle paused, letting her friends take in her honest words. She meant every one. While her origin did matter, she was not just a clone. She was a sister, a daughter, and a friend. Having a family, being a Fenton was vastly important to her, a vital part of who she was. And it was one that she’d chosen; she and Danny had chosen to call each other siblings instead of cousins. The Fenton parents had chosen to take her in and she had chosen to accept.

A deep thoughtful look crossed Dipper’s face at the words, his expression softening. She could almost see wheels turning in his head as he considered her words. And maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t just thinking about her but how this related to his own situation with a certain clone.

After a while, Mabel asked. “How did you and Danny meet?”

“Well...that’s an interesting story….” With that, Elle expanded on the story she told yesterday. She properly explained how she met Danny and how they escaped from Vlad together. Looking down, she talked about her time living on the streets and worst of all...the time she almost destabilized.

Mabel’s eyes widened. “Elle...that is horrible. I am so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” The other girl waved her off. “I’m okay now. Danny figured out how to stabilize me.”

“But..you almost melted.” Dipper covered his mouth, a haunted look in his eyes. “No wonder you were so upset about what happened to my clones.”

“Yeah.” Elle agreed numbly. “I uh...I know from experience. Melting’s horrible whether it’s happening to you or you’re watching it happen to someone else.” She shivered again at the statement, her mind momentarily drifting with what happened to her clone siblings. She wrung her hands. “Like I said, I wasn’t the only one. None of us were stable but...I’m the only one left.”

Mabel gave Elle a compassionate look while Dipper’s eyes flickered down. “And you saw….?”

“Yeah.” Elle swallowed. “I was there when all of them, all of my clone brothers,...died.” 

The boy looked up, sorrowful but kind eyes meeting hers. “I know it doesn’t make it better but...I’m sorry that happened and...I’m sorry you had to see it.”

“Yeah.” The half ghost wrapped her arms around herself. “It still hurts sometimes but...all I can do is remember them, honor them, and...I guess, try to live since they didn’t get the chance tp.” She let a small smile crept onto her face. “I like to think they’d be proud of me, if they could see me now.”

“They would be.” Mabel said with conviction. “Your brothers would be so happy for you if they knew.”

Elle nodded, trying her best to believe. It still hurt, talking about all of this but...having Dipper and Mabel to listen was helping.

The half ghost continued explaining the journey that led her to living with the Fentons. “So Danny told Mom and Dad about his powers and introduced me. And now I live in Amity Park with them.” Elle’s story ended and she waited for Dipper and Mabel to respond. Despite their favorable reactions, her heart still fluttered with nerves. “So...what do you guys think?”

Dipper and Mabel both seemed to notice the uncertainty in her voice, based on the concerned  looks they traded with each other. 

Mabel addressed Elle first. “I think you’re really brave, after going through all that.” She gave the halfa a smile. “And I still think you’re really cool.” 

Elle sighed. “Well that’s a relief.” She tried to sound casual, like it was a joke but her tone gave her lingering anxiety away.

Across from her, Dipper swallowed. He addressed her seriously.. “Elle...I remember what you said earlier. We don’t think any less of you, because you told us the truth.”

“Yeah.” Mabel shrugged. “You’re still you...even if there’s more to you than we thought. And you’re still our friend.”

“Really?” Elle asked hopefully.

“Of course.” The other girl said, like it was the most obvious thing.

Dipper nodded. “You’re our friend. And…” The boy bit his lip. “I’m happy you told us. I think I get more why you reacted to the Copier like you did.” He looked down. “Everything I told you, everything I did with the machine. It must sound really awful, considering….your origin.”

“Yeah….” The half ghost rubbed the back of her neck. “Anything about clones is a sore subject for me.  And hearing everything that happened was...well...it was not fun.” She wrinkled her nose before her expression softened. “But...you’ve learned since then and I saw how you were with Tyrone.”

“Yeah, I have learned.” Dipper agreed, sounding more confident. “And thanks for helping me see. What you said about Tyrone not being just a copy...well...I already told you.”

Mabel looked at her brother curiously but didn’t comment on that. Instead she excitedly interjected. “Speaking of Tyrone...when do I get to meet him?”

“And what was that idea you had, to make it so everyone can see and hear him completely?” Dipper added.

Elle nodded. “So I was talking to my brother and he thought…..”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With that, the half ghost explained the plan she’s come up with as the trio finally finished their breakfast.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Mabel practically jumped out of her seat as soon as the rest of her pancakes were gone. “Come on!”

The trio headed up the stairs and to Elle’s room, where the girl opened the door with a flourish.

“Tyrone?” The halfa called.

A moment later, the ghost materialized, form as misty as before.

Mabel squinted at the ghost boy. “Is that him?”

“Yes.” Elle nodded.

The other girl grinned. “Hi Tyrone!”

The ghost boy waved eagerly and again, Elle could imagine his bright smile.

Dipper finally spoke up. “Why are you back to looking…. like that?”

“Oh yeah.” His sister nodded. “You said you could see his face last night.”

Tyrone said something but his explanation was lost in static.

Elle sighed. “Danny thought it was because yesterday was his DeathDay and traditional ghosts are stronger on the anniversary of their death. But…” She held up the ectoplasm. “This should help. You should be stronger than ever if it works.” She turned towards Dipper and Mabel, jabing a thumb in the other ghost’s direction. “Earlier, I was trying to convince this one to give it a try.” 

Dipper raised a brow at his clone. “It can’t actually hurt, right?”

The ghost shrugged before shaking his head.

“So you’ll try it?” Mabel asked hopefully. The ghost boy nodded, now more confidently, earning a grin from the girl. “Great!” 

Elle also smiled. “You can absorb it through your skin so I can just pour it on you unless….” The half ghost held the vial out to Dipper. “Do you want to do the honors?”

Tentatively, the boy took it. “Alright.” He took a step towards the other boy. “Here goes nothing.”

Anticipation seemed to swirl through the room. In front of his original, Tyrone tensed, bracing himself as the other boy tipped the vial over with a similar tense posture. Mabel looked between the pair with wide, eager eyes. Elle held her breath as the ectoplasm touched the other ghost’s head. The substance dripped down and Tyrone’s dim aura brightened. Then there was a flash of light.

Elle covered her face on reflex at the brightness. Nearby, Dipper squeaked startledly and Mabel gasped. There was a long silent pause. 

“Did it...did it work?” Someone said. No, not just someone. The voice was young, male, and...echoing.

Elle’s eyes popped open, her gaze falling on Tyrone’s face, his now very visible face. The other ghost’s eyes were pinched closed, his shoulders raised. 

“Did it work?” Tyrone asked again.

The half ghost’s mouth fell open. His voice….it sounded different from the few times she’d heard it before. It was more….physical, like actual sound waves traveling through the air and into her ears. Less like pure thought and emotions telepathically communicated straight to her brain. (It was so weird that she could tell the difference between those things.)

Across from his clone, Dipper wore a similar expression of shock. Numbly, he nodded in response to the question.

Tyrone noticed, his eyes meeting the other boy’s. “Can you hear me?”

Again, Dipper nodded, this time more enthusiastically.

The ghost boy grinned. “You can understand me. You can understand me! Dipper!” He put his arms up, eyes flittering to the other Pines sibling and grinning. “Mabel! I think it worked!” In his growing excitement, Tyrone grabbed one of Dipper’s and one of Mabel’s arms.

The other boy’s eyes lit up as he looked at where his clone was touching him. 

“I can’t believe this!” Mabel exclaimed.

At the same time, Dipper was mystified. “It worked.” He met Tyrone’s eyes again, his own excitement growing.

“Dipper! Tyrone! It worked!” The girl yelled as she took the human boy’s hand and started jumping in excitement.

Dipper and Tyrone both laughed. The clone grinned as he shifted his grip to hold one of Dipper and one of Mabel’s hands. He started jumping as well and Dipper joined a moment later. Soon all three were jumping up and down, all chanting. “It worked! It worked!” 

Elle smiled, watching the elated reaction as the three celebrated with exclamations of pure joy and laughter. They spun, almost dancing in something reminiscent of children playing ring around the rosie. Dipper ran into the bed and fell onto it all the while laughing even as Mabel fell into him. Tyrone dipped forward with the force of gravity but let go of the other teens’ hands. Floating, he darted in front of Elle.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” The ghostly clone threw his arms around her, still jumping.

The half ghost joined in, starting to laugh as well. “Ty! It worked!”

A moment later, Dipper hopped up beside the pair. He threw one arm around Elle and one around Tyrone, forming a group hug. “Yeah! Thank you so much Elle!”

The girl grinned, more at seeing her friends so happy than the praise itself. It had worked! Not only did Tyrone look fully solid and visible, he was fully tangible. Hugging him didn’t feel like touching mist but instead like hugging an actual person. He wasn’t warm of course; the ever present cold and electricity that came with touching a ghost was present. But he was here and he could touch and be touched. He could be fully seen without distortion. Though his body and clothes had a very faint blue tint, possibly from his much more visible aura, he looked very human for a ghost and very much like Dipper’s clone. And finally, she could understand him. His words actually came out as English! 

Mabel’s voice interrupted Elle’s thought. “Tyrone?” The girl questioned. Though her lips turned up in a smile, her voice was more serious.

The ghost boy turned, suddenly nervous at the girl’s change on tone. “Yeah?”

“You’re really him? The clone Dipper told us about?” Mabel questioned, her eyes shining with a mix of emotions.

“Yeah, I guess….” The clone said, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he lowered his hand. “Dipper told you about me?” He asked, slightly mystified.

“Yeah. Of course I did.” The living boy said softly.

Tyrone nodded, understanding dawning on his face. “Of course you did. You tell Mabel everything.” He then blushed at the strangely personal statement. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. ” Dipper shrugged. “You’re right.” Then he turned more serious. “But actually...I told her because you’re important to me, Ty.”

The ghost boy’s face softened. “Really?” 

The other boy nodded. “Yeah.”

“You’re important to me too.” Mabel interjected, confidently through her voice wavered with emotion.

Tyrone turned to her, eyes wide. “What?”

“You’re important to me, Tyrone.” Mabel took a step forward, hesitating a moment before practically leaping forward to wrap the ghost boy in a bear hug. 

The ghostly clone’s eyes widened even more. “Mabel?”

The girl tightened her hold. “I thought...I thought I’d never get to meet you, bro-bro.” Her words rang with affection and just a hint of sadness.

The clone’s widened with something that could be hurt as he sputtered “Mabel. I’m...I’m not your...”

“Of course you are.” The other teen pulled back, enough to see his face. “You’re my brother.” She said, like it was the most obvious thing. “You’re my bro-bro, just like Dipper is.” Mabel smiled kindly. “I’ve got two brothers now.”

Tyrone blinked, totally bewildered. He opened and closed his mouth before muttering in disbelief. “You….you mean that?”

The girl nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. I mean that. You’re my brother and I’m your sister...if you want us to be.” 

The clone also nodded eagerly. “Yes, I want that! Of course I do! But….” He glanced nervously at Dipper.

The still living boy walked forward. He gently placed one hand on Tyrone’s and one hand on Mabel’s arm. “I like that word, brother.” Though he bit his lip anxiously, he sounded sincere. “I think….I’d rather call you that, than my clone.”

Tyrone’s eyes widened as he asked hopefully. “Your….brother?”

“My brother.” He nodded. “We’re brothers.” 

“Brothers…” The clone mused, his eyes shining with happiness. “I liked that. I really liked that.”

Tyrone leaned forward to wrap one arm around Dipper and one around Mabel. The three newly minted siblings collapsed into a group hug on the floor, laughing and muttering loving comforts to each other.

“I’m really happy to finally meet you.” Mabel said.

Tyrone agreed. “And I’m happy to meet you properly.”

She laughed. “Yeah. Two days ago doesn’t really count, Misty.” Her voice pitched up, teasingly.

The ghost boy groaned in somewhat mock annoyance. “No, Mabel! You can’t call me that.”

The girl grinned. “That’s not what you said, then.”

Tyrone rolled his eyes. “Well, it’s not like I could actually tell you guys my real name.”

 “Dude, let it go. You know she’s never gonna give that one up.” Dipper added, with a hint of humor.

“Dipper! You’re supposed to be on my side.” The other boy argued.

The living boy held up his hands. “Not this time, Misty.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Tyrone groaned, putting his head in his hands. “You two are the worst.”

The three bantered back and forth. And again, Elle watched the scene with a smile. It was a beautiful reunion. And….her heart clenched as she remembered being in a similar situation. The first time she met Jazz and the girl called her, her sister. That was the first time she’d called Danny her brother and the older halfa confessed that he’d been thinking of her as his sister for a long time.

And Elle couldn’t help but think what she’d said earlier had had an effect as the trio’s conversation continued without her.

“I guess I should have told you last night but...I know you’re not me, Tyrone.” Dipper said sincerely. “You’re your own person and I…” His lips turned up in a smile. “I look forward to learning who exactly that is.”

“Me too.” Tyrone agreed, eyes shining with gratitude. “And...thank you Dipper. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“Well….you know I’m happy to get to know you too.” Mabel shrugged. “And I meant what I said; I want us to be siblings.” She grinned. “We can be triplets now.”

“Triplets..” The ghost hummed in thought. He squeezed the girl in a side hug. “Yeah….Thanks Mabel.” The girl nodded. Then Tyrone met Elle’s eyes. “And thank you Elle.”

Dipper and Mabel also looked up at her. 

“Yeah. Thank you.” Dipper said. “We wouldn’t have figured any of this out, without you.”

“That’s not true.” The half ghost waved off his praise.

“Yes it is.” The human boy insisted. “You brought us together.”

“And….you helped me see I’m not alone.” Tyrone blushed. “It’s nice to know there’s someone like me out there.”

Elle’s eyes softened, understanding his meaning. Slowly she lowered herself to the floor. “Yeah. I...I’m happy to not be alone. You guys accept me and….I’m glad to have you guys as friends.” 

“Friends.” Tyrone agreed. 

The ghost held an arm out to Elle and the girl let herself join the group hug with the siblings. In her chest, her core hummed with happiness. She’s helped Tyrone reunite with his new found siblings and find his way on to the material plan. And though the ectoplasm supplement was a temporary solution (and there was the question of what would happen after the summer was over), with her parent’s expertise, Grunkle Ford’s ingenuity, and Dipper and Mabel’s determination, they’d find a way. 

As for herself, Elle finally had friends. Tyrone, who was a clone like her and intimately understood some of the hardships of being a clone- they’d have to talk more later now that he could. Dipper whom she’d shared secrets with and who had shared ones in return. And Mabel, whose positive, fun-loving, and accepting attitude encouraged her. Elle sighed; she really was lucky, not to be friends with normal kids, but with these three accepted her as she was- her crazy family, ghost powers, clone weirdness and all.

[stutterfly]

Love Bytes 07 | User Privileges | KNJ (M)

Last time on Love Bytes 06: Seokjin gives you an earful before you spend a peaceful evening with Namjoon. You try to convince yourself whatever is happening between you is nothing to think twice about, but you have to reconsider when morning comes. Luckily you’re able to focus your energy on the new matches on your dating app... Or so you think.

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Word Count: 12K

Series: Love Bytes (7/?)

Genre: F2L, fluff, humor, SLOW BURN, friendship feels, ANGST! pining, sexual tension, smut, Bestfriends!au, CollegeProjessor!Namjoon, IT/Nerd!Reader

CW: anxiety, sexual tension, angst, pining, sexual thoughts, language, sexting, grinding, panic attacks (mentioned), reader gets gaslighted, negged, and bullied like this is the 6th grade (verbal abuse by a side character/anatagonist), reader gets dubcon groped (not any of our perfect boys; them and Jennie swing into action), brief homophobic comment by an antagonist, fuckboy Jungkook showing his soft side (s/o to Swipe Right Jungkook; believe in him), alcohol use/mention, best friend Hobi, bestie Jennie, BFFLs to the rescue, protective/jealous Namjoon, soft Namjoon feels, Namjoon about to whoop some jerk’s ass, reader is a Dumb Bitch™ about her feelings and toxic relationship warning signs

Pairings: Namjoon x Reader, brot7 masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

Do not repost.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You haven’t been able to put down your phone all day. An onslaught of “Super Likes” has you playing the foreign role of an extrovert, acting as peppy as possible to present your “best self” to your potential suitors. By the time your battery percentage is down to single digits, you’re feeling just as drained. You fumble with the charging port near the head of the couch, cheek squishing against the armrest. It’s hard to find the energy to rise. Why is trying to get laid so much work? Jennie made it sound way easier. Keeping your eyes open becomes more of a struggle than it’s worth. No amount of socializing feels as rewarding as letting yourself drift off.

You don’t mean to sleep through several group texts and phone calls, but your phone’s reverberations fall near silent against the back cushion. You might sleep through the night if not for a loud series of loud, familiar knocks on your door.

‘Knock--knock-knock--knock--knock.’

You groan into the air, “Whaaaaaat?”

“Open the dooooor.” Even muffled behind the thick wood, you recognize Hoseok’s nasally whine.

Still half-asleep, you shuffle towards the sound. The deadbolt clicks against the light pressure of your fingertips and yields the shining face of your friend. His grin practically reflects the light of the hall and amplifies its shine. It's almost sickening.

"What, were you sleeping?” He frowns narrowing his eyes at you as he scrutinizes every last detail set in your features. “Were you crying? You’re not still upset about your terrible date, are you?”

You smack his hand away as he fusses with the rat’s nest that is your hair. “No, I’m fine. I’m just exhausted from socializing on Tinder all morning.” You yawn, reaching for your phone. “What time is it anyway?”

“You sound like Yoongi,” he laughs, drawing the curtain across the room to let in some natural light. “Don’t worry. You didn’t sleep through the night. It’s almost two.”

“Oh good, it’s only been a couple hours.” You wince as the room brightens, holding back an annoyed hiss. Soft rain patters against the leaves on the tree outside of your window. Maybe the weather is finally letting up and you can see some real sunshine again sometime soon.

“I just wanted to check in. I know you’re too polite for your own good sometimes.”

You miss the concern in his face as you scan the latest batch of matches that have messaged you since your power nap. There was a guy asking if you wanted to meet for lunch, but you missed the window. He seemed pretty nice so you want to apologize as fast as possible so you don’t seem like a total bitch.

When you don’t even acknowledge Hoseok’s words, his face hardens. “...But not all the time, apparently.”

You look up from the keyboard on your phone, halfway through constructing an apology. Sensing his annoyance at your manners, you turn off the screen and offer a guilty smile.

“I’m sorry, Hobi. Jennie and Tae sent me the photos this morning and--”

His countenance changes in an instant, dropping his pout and grinning like a maniac as he sprints across the room. “What? Really? Let me see!”

He hip checks you into the couch and you both fall to the cushions with a graceless flop. You know you could convince him to drop it if you really wanted to, but a part of you is really enjoying the positive reactions from your matches and the attention is doing wonders for your self-esteem. What’s one more person inflating your ego?

“Oh, just one sec. I want to apologize for ghosting this dude.”

“You ghosted someone?” Hoseok shakes his head in disbelief, throwing his arm around you. “I’m so proud! Did he deserve it? Was it the guy at the coffee shop?”

You snort, fingers tapping your keyboard thoughtfully. “No. There’s this guy I was talking to earlier. He asked me to lunch right after I fell asleep.”

He furrows his brow at you. “I’m not really sure that’s ghosting if you planned on responding.”

Your fingers stop tapping the keyboard and you look up at him. “Oh. Well. I definitely ghosted the coffee guy. Just unmatched and deleted his number.”

“Attagirl.” He grins, playfully nudging his knuckles into your jaw. “So what’s this guy’s name?”

“Mmm. Don’t want to tell you, in case it doesn’t go anywhere,” you mumble, backing out of the conversation.

Hoseok glances down at your screen and raises his eyebrows when he notes all of the conversations you have going simultaneously. “Wow! Someone’s popular.”

“I didn’t expect such a big change once I got the photos. I hate to admit it, but you guys were actually right for once.”

His eyes widen. “Hmm? Say that one more time? Hold on!” He pulls out his phone like he’s going to record the statement and then laughs. “I’m glad you finally see my wisdom. Now gimme.”

He flexes his fingers a few times to make grabby hands at your phone. You navigate to your profile and allow him to peruse at his leisure, nervously micro-analysing his blatant facial expressions. You’re mostly getting a shocked and excited vibe, laced with a hint of pride as he keep repeating “wow” at each new image. Just as he’s moving on to the bikini photo, your cleavage is obscured by a new message.

“Jihoon? Is that your lunch guy?”

“What? He responded? I’ve been cussed out for ignoring a dude for five minutes. They’re usually not so understanding in my experience.”

“Yikes, is that what it’s like for girls?” Hoseok shivers. “On behalf of all men, let me apologize to you.”

“You’re absolved of your guilt for waking me up,” you joke, prodding his side with your finger and giggling when he wiggles away from your touch. “What did he say?”

“He says he still wants to grab a bite with you, if you’re up for it. Ooh he called it a wake up snack with a winky face!” he teases, already bringing up the keyboard to respond for you. “What should we say back? Let’s see… I’m not hungry, but I’ve got a snack for you if you wanna come get it…. Winky-- Hey!”

You snatch the phone back from him, smacking him lightly in the chest. “I’ll figure out something a little less eager, thanks.”

He shrugs. “Suit yourself. I think you should go though.” He’s already removed the scrunchie from your hair and is brushing it with his fingers to retie it. “Nothing like a rebound to get your mind off of things.

“I’m not having sex with him,” you mumble, sending off your response to Jihoon.

“Oh, by the way, we’re meeting up at Seesaw later. You can use that as your out.”

“You gonna buy me drinks this week too?” you ask sweetly, puckering your lips at him.

He scoffs. “Pfft. At Yoongi’s bar? Yoongi’s buying. Now, go put on some clothes that don’t look like you wore them to bed with someone else.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

A points system is something Hobi helped you come up with. You meet up for a snack at a bar and have one drink with him, telling him ahead of time you have dinner plans with friends so he gets the idea right away that your time is valuable. He starts with 100 and you can deduct based on gross mannerisms or behavior.

That way he starts in the positive and only falls to the negative if things go poorly. If he loses enough points, you can end the date by saying you have to get ready because you’re someone’s ride--which is technically true since Namjoon refuses to get his license and you've naturally taken to being his chauffeur.

Now that you're treating dating like a game, it seems like a piece of cake. You can just throw if you've been matched with a shitty teammate. This time you're expecting it. No way are you going to get trapped for 2 hours talking to some dude who doesn't give two fucks about who you are. You’ll probably be back home in no time, eating some of that ice cream still in your freezer and pretending to be interested in some other guy's messages. That's what dating is, right? It's fine. It's a good plan.

You can tell Hoseok and Jin that you made an attempt, are too tired to go out, get drunk alone in your apartment, have a good cry over some self indulgent romantic drama, and pass out with your vibrator cupped in one hand. It definitely sounds like the night of a well adjusted adult with healthy coping mechanisms for rejection, loneliness, and anxiety. It's in your nature to turtle when you feel so shitty about yourself, and your friends know it. You're just hoping they'll accept your excuse of fatigue as a simple fact rather than a disguise for your unhappiness.

There's just one little hiccup you've run into with this foolproof plan. The guy who agreed to meet you for a single drink isn't the one you'd been talking to all morning. He's funnier, twice as handsome, and at least three times more suave than his online persona. Deducting points from someone so charming is proving to be difficult, even after downing a second rum and coke in your haste to work off the genuine butterflies fluttering in your belly.

You can’t get your hopes up. You tell yourself this and yet your brain is ignoring that mantra in favor of bashing you over the head with feelings of excitement, especially when he drops his hand beside yours on the bar. He gently brushes his pinky against the back of yours as he laughs. Suddenly you don’t want this date to end. The smallest touch sets your nerves alight and you’re craving more.

Do you dare to pull out your phone to check the time? Is it rude? You don’t want him thinking you’re not having a good time, but you promised Hoseok that you’d keep it short. It’s a risk you have to take. Pulling the mobile device from your pocket, you try to casually bump the power button to check the time. You bite your lip, realizing you’ve already gone ten minutes past the time you’d decided to end it.

“You sure you can’t stay for another? I’m buying.” The man beside you smiles and playfully bumps his shoulder against yours as his fingers finally curl around yours on the bar. Your gaze is fixed on the motion of his thumb caressing yours.

The breath catches in your throat and you stutter out a flustered laugh. Shy eyes peek up from beneath fallen strands of hair, trying to decide if this is actually happening or if someone is playing a cruel joke on you. His lips part into an amused grin as he tucks the strand behind your ear. His fingers are warm as they lightly trail along the side of your face and instinctively you close your eyes and lean into his touch.

“Mmm,” you hum, losing yourself in the simple sensation of fingertips brushing against your cheek. The comfort the motion brings reminds you of someone else, someone you’ve been feeling incredibly confused about as of late. Panic settles in your belly as you almost say his name. “Na--” you catch yourself and clear your throat.

Trying not to draw attention to your mind’s slip-up, your eyes pop open and settle on the bar as you slink away, nearly falling from the stool as you collect your purse.“N-Nah. I, um, have plans. But, um...”

He curiously cocks his head at you. “Are you okay to drive, lightweight? I can call you a Lyft.”

A nervous laugh passes your lips as you twirl your fingers around the metal ring that houses your keys. “I’ll be okay. Thank you! I’m just! Really clumsy. Sorry. Th-this was nice though. Can we--Can we do this again?”

Shit. Way to sound desperate.

Much to your surprise, Jihoon offers a dimpled smile with a raise of his phone. “Hit me up again, beautiful. Any time. I'll tell them to go easy on the rum next time."

You hesitate on moving in to kiss his cheek and instead decide to nod and spin on your heels, nearly missing the waitress balancing a platter full of food beside you. Adrenaline rushes through you on the walk back to your car, a soft rain dampening your clothes and speckling the screen of your phone as you check your messages.

Hobi: how’s it going?

Hobi: you’ve gone over time Dirty Girl

Hobi: 😂

Hobi: tell me ur alive?

As you settle into the driver’s seat, you fingers are already working to craft a response that might reveal everything that you’re feeling, but nothing you try to say seems to do any justice to it.

You: I survived. SS? :)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Hoseok leans back in his chair, taking in everything you’ve told him with a big grin as he picks at the nachos on the table. “So he didn’t try to kiss you?”

You wrack your brain, which is starting to fill with the haze of alcohol. "No. He held my hand for like half a sec though.”

He snorts, crunching down on a chip. “Risqué. Who would have thought you could be so naughty?”

You roll your eyes, debating on whether or not you should admit why you were able to end the things when you did. You scan the plate of nachos and your jaw tightens, shifting from left to right as you try to reason that you hadn't been thinking of someone else while on your date.

"I mean he might have tried to kiss me if I didn't end things so abruptly," you contemplate aloud with a dramatic sigh. “He was so nice. What if he never wants to see me again? What if I blew it?”

Hoseok is scrolling through your messages with Jihoon, scrunching his nose. “Hmm. Or maybe,” he pauses to flip the screen towards you, “you’re just being silly. What, did you get drunk off one beer again?"

Jihoon: Make it home safe, lightweight?

Your lips curl into a smile reading the message, quickly texting a response.

You: I'm fine lol i told you I wasn't drunk. Sorry if I worried you at all!

Jihoon: oh good guess I can spend the rest of my night thinking about you for other reasons now 😏

Breathing gets a little harder as your heart swells to your brain and turns it to mush.

"Damn this guy's smooth," Hoseok murmurs as you set the phone down on the table, feeling completely dumbstruck.

"What do I say?" you ask, suddenly unable to form a coherent thought. Panic bubbles deep in your belly. There’s no doubt in your mind whatever you say will make this guy never speak to you again and you actually maybe kind of enjoyed his company.

Hoseok drums his fingertips on the table, a devilish grin spreading across his features as he begins to walk them towards your phone. “I can type out something for you.”

He bursts out laughing as you quickly snatch the device, sending off a simple blushing smiley.

“Bo-ring,” he sings into the rim of his glass, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. Just as he’s putting his drink down, you’re bringing yours to your lips. “So does this mean you’re not sleeping with Namjoon anymore?”

A cough sputters from your mouth. Your drink comes dribbling out from between your lips like a boozy waterfall and ice cubes plop back into the nearly empty glass. “Namjoon told you?!”

‘Wha?” He raises his eyebrows, mouth hanging open. “For real?!”

Oh no. Oh. Nononononono.

“Not! Like that!”

He saw Namjoon coming out of your apartment this morning, but he failed to mention any recent developments. What’s he at, two weeks now? He can’t have confessed, but it’s clear that something has happened. Did he make a move? Did you?

A smug grin splits his face in two, as he plants an elbow on the table and rests his chin on his palm. For some reason the only thing playing in your brain as he stares at you like this is a quote from Spongebob Squarepants: ‘You like Krabby Patties, don’t you Squidward?’

“Stop looking at me like that!”

He continues to stare at you with his accusatory grin and you feel yourself cracking under the pressure.

“Hoseok!”

Silently waiting, he does a slow blink and lets out a lofty sigh full of longing.

“I--! We--! Slept. Literally slept. Not. Dirty,” you panic, trying to fix the mess you’ve made. Here you are telling Hoseok after making Namjoon promise to forget, to not say anything himself. You’re a filthy hypocrite. You only maybe planned on telling Jennie. Maybe. Because chances are she’d be looking at you the same way Hoseok is right now and you’re not sure you can handle the mortifying experience twice.

You drop your forehead to the table hard enough to rattle the plates and cups on the table. Hoseok cringes and reaches out to place a comforting hand on your back but then thinks better of it and awkwardly pats your head instead.

Your voice is muffled as you wrap your arms around your face. “We didn’t have sex. We were just sleeping in the same bed. Please don’t make it into something it’s not.”

He polishes off his drink and looks down at you. Something it’s not? It’s definitely something that should be. You idiots are so close to being everything you both want to be for each other, and yet for some reason you refuse to accept it as the truth. If you’re sleeping in the same bed, regardless of whether you're feeling each other up or if it really is just innocent cuddling, you’re already in too deep to call yourself ‘just friends.’

You narrow your eyes at him when he rolls his. It seems like admission is still a topic to be avoided.

“Fine,” he huffs, feigning indifference. “I was just hoping for some drama.”

Namjoon better get his shit together soon. You might actually see this smooth-talking person again. If he’s as charming as he seems, he’ll have you falling for him in no time. Hoseok contemplates whether or not the guy is just fishing for casual sex with an easy target, but he doesn’t know enough about Jihoon to say for sure. But you? As big as you talk, you’re soft. Squishy, inside and out. Either way Namjoon will be crushed; there’s no way around that. But the last thing Hoseok wants is to see is not just one, but two of his friends heartbroken.

“Don’t say anything. Please,” you beg, reaching for the hand resting on the back of your scalp and fixing your gaze on the table. The sound of desperation seems to confirm there’s more at play than friends snuggling up in the same bed. He wordlessly curls his fingers around yours, giving them a squeeze, which causes you to look up.

“I won’t say a word. Who do you think I am: Jimin?”

It feels like he’s opening the curtains in your apartment to let the sunshine in all over again when he smiles and you can’t help but let the silent giggles break your nerves down.

Familiar hands press down on your shoulders, giving them a gentle rub. “Damn. Drunk already, Geeksquad?”

You can’t help but straighten your spine and slink back into the motion, despite the fresh briar of worry prickling your insides. Are things weird? You feel like things are weird. You try to make sense of the confusion blossoming with your nerves, but fuck, it feels so good when he does that. “No…mmm.”

You melt into the man at your back and are met with a familiar dimpled smile. The anxiety in your stomach disperses as quickly as it came on. Hoseok watches in silence with pursed lips that threaten to curl into a smile. You guys are morons. The way you’re looking at each other is almost sickening; it’s like you’re the only two people in the room. Something has definitely evolved in your relationship, but it’s not enough. Not yet. He’s never wanted to smush two people’s heads together so badly.

Hoseok clears his throat and stands, pinching your arm as he passes by you. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

You smooth your palm over the tender flesh, wrenching yourself away from the hypnotic pull of the man behind you as you down your backwashed drink. He lets his hand linger on your shoulder as he slides into the chair beside you. Suddenly all you can think about is how good those hands felt holding you steady as he rutted his hips against your ass. You swallow, casting your gaze at the table while trying to push the memory from your brain. The harder you try, the more you remember. Moaning and grinding your ass back into him. The growl in his throat. The frantic panting in your ear.

He leans in, a familiar concern evident in his hushed tone. “Everything okay?”

No.

“Yeah.”

You wilt under his skeptical eyes, shifting your attention to the glass you’re now sliding back and forth between your hands.

“You sure?” he asks, letting his thumb trail down your arm

You try to remember to breathe, not wanting to draw attention to the flustered heat in your chest. It’s easy to attribute the inappropriate thoughts to your conversation with Hobi. He brought it up and he doesn’t even know. Not really. And now it’s all you can think about.

“No.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, brow furrowing.

Yes.

When you don’t answer, he rests his elbow on the table and uses his palm to support his head. “Office hours are closed but Namjoon’s therapy hours are open.”

I want you to come home with me again so we can dry hump like we’re teenagers. You wish you had a shock collar for your thoughts. Stop. This is Namjoon.

You shake your head and force a guilty smile as you meet his gaze. Regret courses through your stomach, causing it to do somersaults. You can tell he spent way longer styling his hair than he would have you believe, but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t do a great job. It’s surprising he would let it get so long in such humid weather, but the ashy brown color compliments his dark eyes well and you hate to admit he looks rather attractive with it falling over his forehead like this. It just looks so…

Pullable.

You want to twist your fingers in it and draw him in. Your tongue pokes the inside of your cheek and you scold yourself, squashing the thoughts before they can take over. Think about something else.

Easier thought than done. Your brain has moved onto another target, focusing on the muscular forearm supporting his head. Has he really been working out? In his current position, the shadowy contours sculpted into his flesh seem more prominent than usual. It’s like you’re seeing them for the first time. The loose tanktop hanging around his torso probably has something to do with it. Your eyes linger far too long on a brown nipple poking out from behind the thin fabric.

He raises his eyebrows, watching your eyes wander everywhere but his face. You’ve been silent too long, but every thought in your mind threatens to spill out. You clear your throat, forcing your eyes to rest on his face. Anything is better than the hesitation heavily seated on your tongue.

“I had a date today.” Of course the first thing that comes out is just a complicated addition to the stockpile of conflict in your gut.

He does his best to remain stoic, despite the tendrils of hurt creeping up his chest. It's easier to mask the pain as surprise. "Oh? For real?"

"He seemed okay." You nod. "I didn't even spill anything on myself this time."

"Wow," he chuckles, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Look at you, all grown up."

“Yeah. I put my bra on by myself and everything,” you joke, oblivious to Hoseok’s approach.

His hands reach around your sides, planting two drinks on the table. One looks suspiciously like something you would drink and the other is most definitely beer.

“Wow, what did I miss?” Hoseok asks, hugging you from behind. Any excuse to tease you is a good one, especially knowing there’s something going on between you and Namjoon. His fingers walk up your arms and tussle your hair.

Namjoon watches your expression morph into embarrassment and graciously brings the beer to his lips. You’re so cute when you’re flustered. Warm butterflies attempt to extinguish the inky tendrils of despair using his heart as a vice grip. Again he had his chance to confess this morning, and again he didn’t. And now you’re here running through the details of your date with someone else. It would be selfish to tell you now, wouldn’t it? It’s just something he’ll have to deal with.

Hoseok watches his friend’s eyes drop to the table as you prattle on about your date. While you’ve known Namjoon for a little longer than a year, Hoseok’s been friends with him for much longer. Maybe that’s why you can’t see it: the hopeful light being sucked from Namjoon’s eyes even as he hangs on your every word. Because he’s so in love with you, he’ll listen to anything you have to say, even if it’s about your attraction to someone else.

Hobi pinches your sides, shifting the focus of the conversation to his grabby little crab fingers and how much you hate them. He mocks you, dodging your playful smacks to his ribs. If the opportunity arises to spare Namjoon from another second of heartbreak, he’ll take it. He knows Namjoon never will, no matter how much it hurts.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The work week passes quickly. Things almost feel normal again. It probably helps that you made a point not to get sloppy drunk, you didn’t kiss Jimin, and you didn’t invite Namjoon back to your place for another dry-humping session disguised as platonic cuddling. But there’s this nagging feeling in the back of your head, constantly reminding you that you liked it. Try as you might to deny it, nothing sounds more appealing than the safety and warmth of his arms.

Instead you’re rolling against the cold sheets of your bed, trying to will yourself to get up. Again you’ve been dreaming about him. Again you tell yourself it’s just sexual frustration latching onto a familiar face. And again you stare at the ceiling, entirely unconvinced that there isn’t something more to it. You wish you invited him over again this weekend. You missed how good it felt to have him at your back, sliding his fingers along your arms until you fell asleep.

You talk to him every day and yet you’re still itching for more, looking for any excuse to talk to him, hoping he’ll break something that you’ll have to come fix since he hasn’t all week. It’s strange. So roll onto your side, face smushed into the pillow as you send him a text.

You: i heard u say u were gonna buy me coffee today. That’s so nice bae 😍

You wait a few minutes before the dots appear on screen.

Joonie: You are literally the worst. My alarm was just about to go off. 

You: 🙂

You: u gonna tho

Joonie: Buy your own damn coffee

You: WOW RUDE 😭i just wanted a little succ

You: of the

You: caffiENE

Joonie: Why are you like this?

You: because ur my favorite person

Joonie: ….

He sends a meme from Spongebob where a fish is extending its neck with a judgemental stare.

Joonie: You don’t have to butter me up to get free coffee. Just text me your order

You: ashkfls;adsfkshfk ok ok gimme a sex

You: SEC

Joonie: 🙄

Talk about Freudian slip. You pause, considering what kind of coffee mood you’re in today. Bitter espresso or sugary sweet?

You: Vanilla iced coffee with one sugar pump please

Joonie: aight stop by my office. I’ve been having trouble connecting to the printer but no one has come to check it out

You: did u set up a ticket?

Joonie: Of course. I guess no one is as competent as you 

You: kiss ass

Joonie: 😘

You roll your eyes, close out the conversation, and purse your lips before setting the phone down. Your latest dream resurfaces in your brain, straddling Namjoon’s torso as he leans you back over his desk and peppers your chest with kisses. Again you tell yourself it’s not about Namjoon, but the thirst associated with the drought of your sex life. Running your fingers down your torso, you start trying to work off some of the residual tension from your dreams.

Conflicted doesn’t even begin to describe your feelings. Confused doesn’t cover it either. You’d already met up with Jihoon again for a serious competition of indoor minigolf followed by a casual fast food dinner. Even then you found yourself thinking of one lanky professor, his dimpled smile replacing Jihoon’s every time he laughed. It’s why you didn’t take him up on the offer to return to his place. That and the fear of potentially being murdered.

You don’t want to have sex with someone when you don’t feel safe, but you consider ways to combat that that feeling for the next one. Maybe bringing him to your place is safer. After all, Yoongi and Hoseok are just down the hall. They’d be sure to check in on you if they knew you had company. People have sex with strangers all the time. It’s not that complicated. Why are you making it into such a big deal?

You can’t help but feel a little guilty. Things have been progressing with him pretty fast, but you have plenty of other offers to meet up with guys that you just haven’t jumped on. It’s kind of overwhelming now. Maybe you should call this dating thing off until your figure out what the hell is going on with your brain.

Or maybe you should just focus on masturbating instead of the confusing guys lighting up the switchboard of your brain. As you reach for your phone and start typing in the familiar web address of your favorite porn site, a photo message from Jihoon appears. You wonder what kind of meme he’s stolen from twitter this time. Carefully, you pause your search in favor of opening his message. It’s definitely not the meme you were looking for.

What you do see is a whole lot of skin along with a carefully placed kissy emoji over his crotch and a “good morning” text accompanying the image. You swallow hard, allowing yourself to be a creep for half a second. You spread your fingers across the screen to zoom in, taking in the sight of the rippled shadows lining his stomach.

You: 😵 

You: im dead sorry we cant see each other anymore

Jihoon: 😂 sorry was that too much?????

You want to say no, but your belly does somersaults at the prospect of sending your own crafted picture as a response. It takes some finagling but you finally manage a shot with your arm wrapped around your chest at the perfect angle. No rolls showing, just a set of perfectly pouty lips, slanted jaw, and a great shot of cleavage. You know it’s taken you far too long to respond and you’re only slightly panicked as you scramble to send the photo over.

You see texts fly in from Namjoon and Jihoon and you swipe to close out the conversation with Namjoon. You quickly attach your photo and hit send, hoping Jihoon will feel rewarded for his patience. But your stomach sinks like a stone has been dropped into it. Your image doesn’t appear in the string of messages with him.

Jihoon: Left you speechless, huh?

You: JUST A BIT I NEED TO GO

You don’t give him a chance to respond or sass you for potentially getting off to that pic. You know how your statement reads, but you can’t be bothered to care with the other thought on your mind. Quickly navigating to your conversation with Namjoon, you wince, seeing the previous message he sent with the image you intended for another recipient.

Joonie: Whipped cream?

And there’s the risqué image.

If you ignore it, will he pretend he never got it? Or should you apologize right now and purge the view of the image by sending a billion texts? You decide on the latter, trying to perform damage control. He laughs it off and sends off a joke about just wanting a yes or no along with a few sickly emojis. You still feel terrible. How many times can you fuck up with him in one month? You’re surprised he still agrees to be your friend.

Hanging your head, you forgo touching yourself in favor of a cold shower.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

By the time your get to his office he’s just setting two cups on his desk and shrugging off his long trenchcoat. His back is to you as you attempt to quietly slink in, but he turns to hang the damp piece of clothing on the rack to your left. You freeze like a deer in headlights, but his eyes soften.

“Mornin’ Geeksquad.”

“Good morning,” you sheepishly mumble, shrugging off your own damp hoodie.

The shirt you’ve chosen today is a flowy button-up blouse, which is a step up from the t-shirts you normally wear. Paired with the form-fitting slacks and makeup you took painstaking attempts to apply this morning, you feel confident that you’re at least somewhat stylish, even if you’re not on Namjoon’s level.

“You…” He tries to remember what words are as his eyes roam over your form. Noticing the top two buttons of your blouse are undone, he clears his throat and tries to push the photo from this morning from his mind, but it keeps coming back. “You look really nice today.”

You smile, folding your arms over your chest as he noticeably stiffens, fumbling with his words.

“I mean, you look nice every day. But, ah…. This-This outfit looks good on you. Really good.”

He rubs the back of his neck and you relish in the appreciation he offers, even if he’s a mess about it. Your cheeks are on fire and you giggle, finding your heart jumping at the way he stammers his way through the conversation.

Why are you acting so shy? You love it when he loses composure. You swallow, allowing yourself to embrace the heat in your belly. Isn't this exactly why you started dressing up more at work?

Pushing the demon on your shoulder back into the floating expanse of your stomach, you press your lips together in a thin line, trying to hide the grin threatening to show off the teeth you've recently started whitening.

“And you’re waiting… For the uh…. The computer. Printer. Thing. Of course. Hold up. Let me log in.”

He crosses the room and sits in his chair, eager to focus on something other than your gorgeous face and distracting body since it's clear you're feeling yourself today. You plop down in the cushioned chair on the other side of his desk and rest your neck on the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling. He focuses on the screen, slowly typing his password and trying his best not to look past his monitor at you. He begins twirling a pencil between his fingers to keep himself from fidgeting.

While he had tried to make you feel better about the accidental photo, it was just another thing piled on to your interactions lately that have been making it harder and harder to keep his feelings to himself. Was it really an accident? Maybe you’re just testing the waters. After everything that’s happened, he’s not sure what to think. Everything feels too coincidental to be anything other than pure attraction flying between the two of you. But if that were true, you’d have asked him to spend the night again.

He was hoping for it, hoping for another chance to make his move. This time he’d be sure to lock the door and switch your phone volume to silent. This time he’d buy you a dozen misfit roses with a billion thorns. This time he had it planned out: flowers, dinner, movie, and confess with a kiss.

After hearing about your first date with this Jihoon guy, he decided he was going to suck up his insecurities and finally go for it. It was bad enough when he thought you’d end up with Jimin, but the thought of losing you to a stranger is far worse than he could have imagined. But the weekend passed without invitation and his courage waned as soon as it was clear he would have to initiate.

Thinking about it and actually doing it are two different things. What if he messed things up? Time already appeared to be running out when Hoseok had given him a deadline to confess by, but with your new dating developments, time seemed to be slipping through his fingers even faster than before. His hesitation helps nothing.

His stomach lurches as he considers the ramifications of the image you sent this morning. If you didn’t mean to send it to him, then it must have been meant for Jihoon. Are you really already exchanging nudes with this other guy? Has he seen all of you? Has he already lain with you? Filled the space in your bed? In you? Maybe Jihoon is the only one he knows about. What if you’re talking to even more people and that photo was for someone you haven’t even mentioned yet?

The pencil in his hand splinters into pieces with a loud crack and your head snaps up to look in the direction the sound came from.

“What was that?”

“Uh… Just me being the God of Destruction.” He rises motions for you to take his place in the chair as he pockets the fragments of the broken pencil.

You shake your head, grabbing your drink as you circle the desk and get comfortable in his chair. “You’re hopeless.”

Navigating the network doesn’t take very long. It just looks like a missing password to connect to the printer’s address. Huh. You don’t remember updating anything. Maybe your coworkers reset it. Regardless, it’s an easy fix. You take a sip through your straw and slam the cup down on the desk.

Suddenly your dream is on vivid display in your head and you freeze as you stare at the smooth, dark surface of the polished woodgrain. The sound of his balls slapping your ass echoes in your ears. You can see the scenario, clear as day. He grips your hips and fucks himself into your tight cunt, tits bouncing in his face as he sucks a hardened nipple into his mouth, praising you for your tightness, how you squeeze him, how you take him so well like the dirty slut you ar--

His hands come down on your shoulders. “Hey. You okay?”

Blood rushes in your ears and you shake the daydream off. You really need to stop watching naughty teacher porn but it’s always on the first page. You tell yourself it has nothing to do with Namjoon and everything to do with laziness. The problem with that is you’re usually very particular about the videos that you watch. Can you fully attribute it to laziness when this is the type of thing you found yourself skipping over just a few months ago? Don’t dwell on it, you tell yourself, continuing typing where you left off.

“Sorry, just… spaced out,” you mumble, leaning back in the chair as you finish up. “There. Should be all set.”

He allows his gaze to drop down past the two open buttons and straight to your breasts, perfectly nestled against the silky black material of your bra. His eyelids flutter and he licks his lips, hoping you don’t notice what a creep he’s being right now. How much spank bank material can he collect in one day?

“Do you want to test it?” you ask, quickly rummaging through the millions of icons on his desktop for any word document.

His breath hitches as you hover over one labeled ‘Draft_Trivia_L,’ double clicking it without a second thought. His hand catches your wrist and he spins you to face him as the document opens.

“You can’t just open things. That’s private!” he flares, heat building in his face. His gut fills with immediate regret.

You blink a few times and look down at your lap, feeling rather foolish. You’ve never seen him snap like that; it must really important. Regardless of your friendship, you know better as a professional. Your gut tumbles in endless circles. Just knowing you’ve upset him on top of everything else you’ve fucked up with your friendship has your mind heavy with guilt.

“I’m really sorry. I should have asked first,” you murmur, feeling like you’re about to cry. You’re not a child. You can handle being scolded when you’ve done wrong, even though it sucks. But this is different. He’s never gotten even remotely angry at you before. And you’ve never wanted crawl into to the server room and volunteer the remainder of your week sorting cables, but there’s a first time for everything.

The hands at your wrists fall to his sides and his expression softens. Before he can offer the apology on the tip of his tongue, you rise and head straight for the door.

“Test it out and let helpdesk know if it’s working.”

Just as you grab the handle and pull open the door, his hand pushes the heavy panel back in place with a click. You turn around, your back resting against the door, but he keeps his arm steady, hovering over you in a way that makes your heart race, despite the turmoil churning in your tummy.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap,” he says in a gentle tone. “It’s just… that particular document is… very personal. It’s--”

“You don’t have to tell me,” you say in a quiet voice. “I fucked up. I’m supposed to let you drive after I fix stuff. I’m not supposed to touch anything other than what’s broken.”

“You know I don’t have a license,” he jokes, earning a soft laugh from you. He sighs. “Remember how I told you about that one student? Well it turns out they really resonated with our poetry studies. They told me it reminds them of something they like to do for fun.” He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck.

“They like to freestyle rap. Do tons of underground competitions, that kind of thing. So I’ve been working with them on bridging the gap between literature, poetry, and rap. And that document you opened… I’m trying my hand at it to lead by example. I want to share it with you, but it’s... not done and it’s a mess I’m still working through. But I promise I will let you see it when it’s done.”

“I’m sure it’s amazing. You’re a genius,” you admit with a shrug of your shoulders. “You have a way with words unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t feel like you have to show me anything, Namjoon. You’re not obligated to.”

He scoffs, relaxing his posture to pinch the bridge of his nose as the compliment starts to sink in. Did you just acknowledge his sexy brain? He can’t help but grin like an idiot as he shakes his head. “I have to show you. It’s actually… I kind of wrote it about… I mean, for you.”

Your eyes widen, curiosity bubbling in your chest. “M-Me?”

What the hell could he possibly have to say about you that could turn into a literary piece to lead by example?

“Yes. You.” He takes a sip of the beverage in his hand before thrusting it in your direction. “You know what? I don’t actually hate that.”

“I know. You have a sweet tooth,” you giggle, swiping your finger across the whipped cream covering the tip of his nose.

You take your finger into your mouth and lick it clean. He watches you with hungry, longing eyes, replacing your finger with something else in his mind. He quickly covers the look with a sigh, gathers your coat from the rack nearby and throws it over your head, shielding himself from your teasing actions. You scramble to regain your field of vision and grin at him as he sits down at his desk again.

You turn to finally leave again, this time in much better spirits. “I’ll talk to you later, Joonie.”

“Geeksquad,” he calls, causing you to pause. “We’re good, right?”

You rest your face on the doorframe as you peer back at him with a shy, slightly smooshed grin. “Of course. As long as you don’t hate me for the million ways I mess up.”

He chuckles, warm dimpled smile gracing his features. “Never.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Thursday night. Finally. You sit on your couch legs propped up over Jennie’s lap, finding some time to catch up with your bestie. She passes the bowl of popcorn over to you, engrossed in the comedy-drama you’ve been binging for the last couple hours. When you shake your head and push the bowl back in her direction, she looks over at you.

“What’s wrong.” It’s a demand, not a question.

“Why would you think anything’s wrong?” you ask defensively, already feeling like you’re about to cry.

“Because I know you, you dumb bitch,” she responds with the love of someone who has definitely seen you at your worst. “Also your leg has been bouncing for the last ten minutes and if you had to pee you would just get up.”

Immediately you halt the motion you hadn’t realized you’d been making. “Jihoon wants to meet up again this week.”

“Wow. Does that make date three? Bow-chicka-wow-wow,” she jokes, causing your feet to rise as she bumps her hips up and down.

You swipe at the air and roll your eyes. “Please, like he wants to.”

She scoffs, stuffing her mouth full of popcorn. “Didn’t you say he tried to get you back to his place after the last one? Dude def wants to bang it out.”

You twiddle your fingers nervously. “Do you think I should?”

“What, fuck him?” she asks, blinking at you as though she’s carefully analyzing your body language through the fluttering of her eyelids.

You slowly nod, puffing your cheeks out and letting air slowly escape the little ‘o’ you’ve made with your mouth. “I already told him I would get drinks with him and I’m nervous about taking things further after.”

“Y/N, honey, why are you asking me? I’m not gonna do it for you. Do you want to fuck him?”

“I don’t know…” You rub your forehead nervously, looking back at the television. “But I think it might take my mind off of some things.”

“Like...?” she prods, realizing there’s something else you’re on the verge of needing to get out, but you need a teensy push to get there.

You purse your lips and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out a way to make it sound less crazy than the bottled up way it’s consuming your thoughts.

“When I’m with him... I can’t stop thinking about Namjoon,” you say quietly, feeling lightheaded just from having said it out loud. You said the words. You admitted it’s a thing. Now what? Jennie will know what to do.

“Ew,” she says out of instinct, knowing anytime she’s broached the subject of you getting together with Namjoon you’ve made gagging sounds. But when she sees the horror on your face, she pauses. “Oh, are we not at ew anymore? Are you finally cool with me saying he’s fine as hell? You feeling a little change, babe?”

“I don’t know what I feel. But it’s not ew. Not even close. I keep having these…” you pause and look at the unlocked door, wondering if there are any ears listening on the other side. Your voice drops to a whisper and you lean in. “I keep having these dreams where he’s… you know?”

“Oh, okay,” she says with a nod, not quite understanding what you’re getting at, but trying to be a good friend by agreeing anyway. She plants her elbow on the back of the couch and rests her cheek on her palm. “But like… how do you mean?”

Your eyes look everywhere but at her face. “You know…”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows furrow and it’s not until you make a crude circle with your hand and poke a finger through it a few times that her eyes light up with understanding. Her voice takes on a surprised tone. “Oh!” She pushes your legs off her lap, pauses the show, and scooches closer. “Okay. Wow. This is really happening. Finally. Details. Spill it.”

With a groan, you recount every last thing you can remember about the time you’ve spent with Namjoon in the last few weeks, everything from toilet hair to the most recent photo mishap. When you’ve finished, Jennie sighs loudly.

“I take off for like a week and this is what happens. I love you, but you are a serious fucking mess.” You’ve just been fanning the flames of the torch he’s been carrying for you. No wonder it’s all coming to a head like this. She’s surprised Namjoon hasn’t caved and finally confessed already. Isn’t he ready to blow at this point? She stifles a giggle at the double entendre.

“I know.” You stare at the ceiling, hands folded over your lap. “So what do I do?”

“Okay. Let me get this straight. You’ve slept in the same bed, cuddled, flashed him, almost made out with him, humped him, sent him a nude, you’re having sex dreams about him aaaaand you’re thinking about him while you’re on dates with other people… And you’re asking me what to do? You know what to do. Just bang it out already,” she says, clapping her hands together on the last few syllables to emphasize her point.

“Obviously there’s something there. So why don’t you just test the chemistry? You guys might be surprisingly compatible.”

You shake you head and run your fingers through your hair. “I can’t risk his friendship. I’ve fucked up so much already. Like what if we do it and he’s like… cool let’s not ever again. And then he tells me our friendship is over.”

“He won’t,” she groans, tossing one of the throw pillows at you. “Stop being dumb.”

“But…” Your mind races as you consider every last thing that could go wrong, hugging the pillow to your chest. “Jennie, I’m too scared to lose him. I can’t.”

Her brow knits in concentration. Your fears are understandable, but she knows you can be happy with him if you just open up to the possibility, especially since you’ve become such good friends in such a relatively short amount of time. But she also knows pushing you too hard too fast will make you clam up. You may not be willing to address what you feel, but at least there’s admission of some kind of feeling. That’s progress.

“So where do we go from here, Y/N? What are you doing?”

You wish you had an answer. “I… I’m calling Firewall on this. Right now. Namjoon keeps me in line with everyone else. You keep me in line with him.”

Jennie swallows, her heart breaking for you both as she nods. “Okay. If that’s what you want,” she agrees softly.

“It is,” you say, voice already full of uncertainty.

You have a date tomorrow night with Jihoon and you’ve decided you are going to stop thinking about Namjoon for the entirety of it. For the sake of your friendship and your sanity. You have to keep things simple and divided. So why does it feel like that’s way too easy of an answer?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jihoon is way better at dancing than you are, which doesn’t come as a surprise, honestly. What you do find shocking is the blatant boner you feel poking against your ass as he guides you across his hips and the filthy things he whispers into the slope of your neck. Clearly he uses dancing as an excuse to cop a feel, but the butterflies in your stomach and the heat in your cheeks tell you you’re okay with that. You shyly reach up to cradle your fingers around the back of his head, breath staggered as you slowly lean back to press your lips to his. His jaw is stiff, but his lips are big and soft and it’s easy enough to substitute the person you’re craving without a second thought. Fireworks explode in your brain, blocking off all possible hangups about the action.

As he brings his hands up to your chest, giving your tits a rough squeeze, you come crashing back down. Fuck. You had one job tonight. Firewall, remember? Your eyes shoot open and you’re left with a suffocating swarm of bodies around you and hands that feel constricting. It’s too much. You need air. You need air and space around you to figure this out.

You grab his hands and move them back to an innocent place on your hips. “I’m gonna get another drink,” you say, desperate to escape this place you suddenly feel trapped in.

He allows you to slip through his sweaty fingers and disappear into the crowd.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Namjoon says, unable to take his eyes off the way you’re moving with the man at your back. Is this his fate: destined to watch you grind your body on someone else?

Jennie, Jungkook, and Tae exchange worried looks. Hoseok just scoffs as he peers through the glass railing across the sea of writhing bodies.

“I know. What kind of dancing is that? It’s like she can’t remember anything I taught her. Crescent moon shapes. CRESCENT.” He grunts in frustration and drags his hand down his chin. “I’m gonna have an aneurysm.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair and placing his arms out around the back of Jennie and Jungkook’s chairs. “Of course that’s what you would see.”

She grumbles as Tae manspreads, knocking her knee with his. She settles for the way his fingers trail feather light touches at her back.

“Namjoon, you didn’t have to come,” she says sympathetically. “I just wanted to keep an eye on her just in case… I’m sorry. I know you guys think I’m crazy. But like… I’ve been with crazy. And if that experience has taught me anything, it’s to trust my gut.” She pats her stomach a few times and takes a small sip of her drink. “And my gut says don’t trust a hoe you don’t know, especially with your bestie.”

“That’s exactly why I had to come,” he sighs.

Touche, she thinks.

Suddenly you’re moving in a slow, sweet way that Jennie recognizes as your telltale shy kiss. As much as she likes the feeling of Tae’s fingers dancing with the ends of her hair, she stands and takes Namjoon’s hands, pulling him from his seat. She can hear Tae’s grumbly protests as she moves away, but it doesn’t matter. She’d really like to spare Namjoon the heartbreak of watching the person he loves kiss someone else.

“Joonie. Get up. Switch places with me. Come on.”

Her act of heroism comes too late. He falls back into his chair with his jaw hanging open, unable to stomach the sight. So he forces his eyes to focus on the ambient lights dangling from the ceiling. It's stupid. You're not even his, so why did that feel like getting punched in the gut? He closes his eyes and swallows the growing lump in his throat. Get it together.

Jungkook grimaces at Hobi, mouthing the words ‘what do we do?’ Hoseok looks from Jungkook to Namjoon, and then down to the floor where you’re prying Jihoon’s hands away from your chest and shying away. Squinting to get a better view of your form, he realizes you’re not just slinking away, you’re running away.

Hoseok rises, dragging his dejected friend to his feet. "Hey, let's get you something stronger than a ginger ale. Up! Up! Time to get our bodies moving. Things will be okay!"

Hoseok jerks his head in the direction he saw you running off to, making eye contact with Jennie. "Y/N is obviously okay! So let's not have wasted this time sulking when we could be getting endorphins going."

Jennie cocks her head to the side as she stands and peers over the rail, trying to discern whatever information Hoseok wanted to relay. Then she sees it: the distant form sneaking into the bathroom.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Namjoon groans as he leans his elbows on the bar. “You know what, I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea. She’s obviously safe and happy. Can you please drop me off at home?”

Hoseok is looking past Namjoon, squinting into the crowd as though looking for something in particular. “You know this is your last weekend to confess before I tell her for you, right?”

“Hey. Don’t complicate her life. She’s got someone now. I appreciate the push, but it’s done. There’s nothing else to--”

“Hey isn’t that the guy?” Hoseok interrupts, hastily thrusting a pointed finger just in front of his friend’s nose.

Namjoon’s gaze follows Hoseok’s fingertip to Jihoon on the other side of the bar, putting his hands around some other girl’s waist and burying his face into her neck as they grind on one another.

“What the fuck?” Namjoon breathes.

His feet are moving without provocation and before he knows it, he’s angrily wrenching the couple apart. “Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Dude what the fuck? Do I know you?” Jihoon blinks, giving him a shove.

Namjoon’s shoulder dips back, but his stance is firm. He drags his lip through his teeth, a manic grin threatening to spread through if he doesn’t keep his jaw tight. “Try that shit again. I dare you. I will lay you out.”

The girl he was dancing with grimaces and quickly backs away, sensing the danger in this situation. Jungkook is waiting. He catches her wrist and spins her gracefully into his arms.

“Careful, gorgeous. Don’t want you mixed up in whatever that is, hmm?” he says, brushing the hair from her face with featherlight touches that contrast the solid mass of his body pressed against her side. “Don’t you want to dance with me instead?”

She looks like she’s about to slap him for a fraction of a second, but melts into a puddle as soon as she meets those big brown eyes. She weakly allows him to lure her away from the squabbling men.

“Maybe…”

“Hah. Well then. Maybe I’ll let you,” he teases, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek and disappearing into the crowd with her hot on his heels.

Jihoon’s jaw grows taut with annoyance as he watches his target slip away. He scoffs. “What the fuck is your problem with me? I don’t know you. Get lost.” He clicks his tongue and mutters, “fucking punk.”

“You’re here with Y/N and you’re out here feeling up other girls. That’s my problem with you.”

“Pfft. That’s what this is about? What are you, her boyfriend? Or do you just have white knight syndrome? Look, I don’t care what you guys are. Everybody has a side piece. Why are you being so judgemental?”

Namjoon’s concentrated brow briefly transforms into confusion, causing his response to die on the tip of his tongue. Jihoon catches the panic before he can turn his face to stone.

“Oh, that’s not it is it? I see how it is now. You’re stuck in the friend zone.” Jihoon lets out a smug laugh. “Are you stalking her? You must have seen our kiss. Tell me. How badly do you wish you were me?”

Namjoon feels like his teeth are going to break if he keeps grinding them together like this, but it’s all he can do to keep himself from unloading on this guy.

“Heh. Judging from your silence, pretty fucking badly. How long have you waited? Months? Years? Be honest. It drives you crazy knowing that I’m going to have her tonight, doesn’t it?”

“You don’t deserve her,” he spits back, unable to hold the jealous venom from his tone. “I’m not even worried. She’ll figure you out.”

Jihoon shakes his head, taking a few steps closer to him. “You’re wrong though. I know her type. She’s desperate for somebody to love her. Anybody will do. It doesn’t matter who.”

His words are like a sucker punch to the gut. What if he’s right? Regardless, he powers through his insecurities, knowing a guy as shitty as Jihoon is trying to go for the low blows to throw him off his game. “Man, do you ever get tired of spewing shit?”

“Dude, why do you even want her?” Jihoon shakes his head with a laugh. “Yeah, she's kind of cute but there are plenty of hotter chicks out there.” He clicks his tongue. “I thought I saw an easy opportunity to get laid but I didn't think someone as desperate as her would take this long to get in the sack. It’s kind of more trouble than it's worth for what's bound to be a mediocre lay. I can just tell.”

Namjoon clenches his jaw tighter, knowing that he’s just egging him on at this point.

“But I’ll fuck her anyway. Because I can.”

Namjoon lunges toward him but Taehyung and Hoseok are already grabbing his arms and steadying him like vines entangling a tree. Jihoon silently laughs like this is the most amusing game in the world.

“He’s not worth it. Don’t do something you’ll regret,” Tae says, glaring in Jihoon’s direction, who rolls his eyes in response.

“Time to cool off,” Hoseok whispers, working on backing him up. “Come on. She’s smart. Believe in her.”

Namjoon glares at the enemy he’s made today, wishing he got at least one punch in. “You best keep your mouth shut, or I’ll make sure it stays shut.”

“That’s fine. I’ll make sure Y/N’s stays wide open though, don’t worry.”

Namjoon seethes with rage as he pushes his friends forward, trying to return to the man pushing his buttons. “You really wanna throw hands, or you wanna keep making backhanded comments like a bitch? Let’s fucking go.”

“Joon, come on,” Tae and Hobi take turns trying to diffuse the anger in his eyes

Jihoon rolls his eyes again. “Listen to your boyfriends, bro.”

“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. I see you looking for your fucking brain,” Namjoon quips with a snort. With a frustrated sigh he finally allows Tae and Hobi to goad him back to a distance where he’s not in danger of putting his fist in someone’s face.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───��─

You come back from the bathroom, panic attack only a hazy memory thanks to one of your best friends showing up to talk you through it. Of course Jennie followed you here to make sure you’d be okay. Honestly, you couldn’t be more grateful right now. She gave you the pep talk you needed.

When you finally spot Jihoon, he’s standing alone at the bar, casually leaning against it but looking pissed as fuck. Before you can ask if everything is okay, he’s pulling you into a deep kiss, forcing his wet, slimy tongue down your throat. He’s sure to make a show of it knowing that Namjoon is watching from somewhere nearby.

You wedge your hands between your bodies and break free of the kiss, feeling like that was super out of character for him with how you left things. You were hoping he’d be more thoughtful and considerate of your earlier reaction, but it only adds more proof onto the obvious statement that he is not Namjoon. You try to give him a pass because you know being horny definitely makes you stupid and needy.

“What’s gotten into you?” You giggle nervously, trying to ignore the anxiety nagging at the back of your mind. The butterflies have become a swarm of angry bees circling your belly.

He leans in to whisper against your ear, “I just want you so badly right now. I’m sorry. You wanna get out of here?”

You shift uncomfortably, unsure if you're ready for that, or if you even want that with him. A sense of obligation floods your brain, even though you know you don’t owe him a thing. How fucked up is it that you feel guilty for not putting out on the third date? You don’t actually know this guy that well, so how can you bring yourself to fuck him? Stop being a prude. It’s just sex.

Fighting the sinking feeling in your gut, you grab his hand and shyly smile at him, trying to reason with yourself that at least if you go back to your place, Hobi and Yoongi will check up on you. He takes the action as wordless approval, giving you another wet, sloppy kiss that makes the stone in your stomach feel even heavier.

He discards your fingers and moves to tugging on your wrists in a way that makes them ache. The ice pick of dread starts chipping away at the corners of your mind. He hasn’t given you a reason so far to think he’ll freak if you back out now, but the way he starts leading you towards the exit ties a knot in your throat. Soon you’re practically being dragged across the room. As heavy as the stone in your stomach is, it does nothing to slow him down.

“Jihoon. Hey, slow down! Wait a sec!”

It’s too late. Your shoulder hits the doorframe and you wince as hot pain radiates from the point of impact. Oh, that’s definitely going to bruise.

“Dude!” You wrench yourself away from his grip, nursing the growing welt on your shoulder.

He raises his eyebrows and turns back to face you, concern burdening his features. A light rain begins to blanket the two of you. “Oh, you should be more careful, Y/N. Are you okay?”

Despite the fact that he practically slammed you into the door on the way out of the building, you start to feel guilty for causing him to worry as he begins fussing over you. His fingers ghost over the hand you have clamped down over the ache.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to,” you mumble, attempting to shake off the anxiety in your gut. “But I need you to slow down. You don’t even know where I live.”

“So show me,” he prods, trailing his fingers to your chin. “I’m just so excited to be with you.”

You can hear Hobi’s voice in your head, backing the unsettling feeling traveling throughout your body. Stop making excuses. Ghost him!

You pull your head back, trying to gather the willpower to be brave and back out. “Okay… But-- I-I…” You allow a nervous chuckle to pass your lips. “Look, I-I don’t think tonight is gonna work. I’m sorry. I’m just feeling kind of sick.”

The smile on his face falls. Before he can respond, Jennie’s voice cuts through the sound of rain pattering nearby cars. “Hey!”

He looks over at the sound, furrowing his brow when he sees Namjoon walking out behind your friend.

Showing up to watch, Friend Zone?

Jihoon loudly sighs. “You know what, I’m feeling kind of sick too. Sick of you saying one thing and really wanting another.”

You blink, jaw dropping open. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a fucking tease. Always giving those bedroom eyes, telling me how much you want me, how bad you want to fuck me,” he declares, raising his volume as he watches Namjoon stop dead in his tracks.

Your face grows hot, despite the mist gathered on your cheeks. “H-Hold on. I-I never---”

“But you got this shy act going so I played along. For a bit. You want to play games again. Trying to tell me you want to wait, but I know you don’t. You were the one putting my hands all over your body earlier, practically begging me to fuck you out in the open the way you were pressing that ass into me.”

You can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth right now. Is this really happening right now? It’s a nightmare. You’ll wake up any second now. Everything he’s saying is a fucking lie. So why do you feel so ashamed, so guilty?

“You know what, Jihoon?” you pipe up, the distress in your voice apparent as the shrill words escape. “You’re being a real douche right now.”

“Yeah, well you’re being a real prude for someone who is maybe a six at best,” he snorts. “And god you’re fucking boring. You should be thanking me for even considering sleeping with you.”

The words shock your system and you stand for a few seconds just processing all of the hurtful things he just said. Suddenly the heat in your cheeks radiates throughout your chest. You feel like a fucking moron. Rage. Regret. Shame. Self-loathing. Everything hits you like a truck at once, culminating into a bubbling pressure in your throat. You want to scream, but nothing comes out except for the boiling tears streaking down your cheeks. Your hand flies up, landing across his face with a satisfying smack.

Realizing what you’ve done, your eyes go wide and then clamp shut in recoil as he raises his hand to retaliate. But the blow never lands. When you open your eyes Namjoon has his hand clamped around Jihoon’s wrist, glaring daggers at the man.

“You do not fucking touch her,” he growls. “You better get the fuck out of here before I beat your ass for even thinking about it.”

Your brain has already shut down by the time Jennie grabs your waist to pull you back into a bear hug from behind. Jihoon ticks his jaw and clenches his fists, tearing himself from Namjoon’s grip. When Tae, Hobi, and Jungkook appear by his side, it seems like he reconsiders the punch he was about to throw and backs away.

“You can have her. She’s not worth it.”

Your friends stand in front of you, an unmoving daisy chain of rage as the tears fall from your face along with the apologies on your lips. Namjoon is the last to turn around, but he’s the only person you can focus on as your body convulses with the emotional distress coursing through it. You’re soon enveloped in a group hug, pressed with a deadly tightness against Namjoon’s chest. It doesn’t make you feel any less broken, but it does make you feel grateful to have such a supportive and caring family. What would you have done if they weren’t here tonight? You shudder to think about it.

Namjoon’s fingers press against the back of your head as you spew snotted, muffled sorry’s into his shirt. He’s still holding you long after everyone else has let go, offering comforting words, making sure you know you have nothing to apologize for. In this moment, the world falls away, the pain falls away, and the only thing that matters is the overflowing love you can feel emanating from the man before you.

[har-rison-s]

Opposites

Request: hi, darling! i’m just wondering if i could request some freddie fluff where he ends up falling for innocent reader, someone completely different from his scene.

A/N: Oh my goodness, I LOVE this idea. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Hope you like how I've written it out, love :))

Her family was well-known in London. They were aristocrates through generations, the family name, money and properties being the legacy for every new-born. Most of the family were men, and males were the common gender for the children born in the Montgomery family, but, come the end of the 1940s, and and many girls were born, including a special one named Y/N.

It's not a surprise that a girl is born, the mother and all other relatives being very happy with another soon-to-be leading woman being born. There just hasn't been a girl born since the nineteenth century, and it might be harder to adjust to a small girl running around business places and mansions. Sometimes the press get too hard on her, but all in all, she's fine living her aristocratic and rich life.

There's money, property, opportunities and attention in every direction pointed at her, but everything's really blank. Y/N feels like people think she's shallow, just like most of the people in her family, but she'd be willing to prove them wrong anytime. If her family allowed it.

She's always wearing skirts and blouses in strict measurements, having her hair done neatly and without a strand falling down. Y/N was taught to speak what you'd call the posh way, polite, understandable, and that's what she does. She was never late, always the best and brightest, the most beautiful and quiet one. Everyone liked her in the private school, she always won diplomas and certificates for her good grades, participating in social events and organisations. Teachers loved her and her university professors love her now. She's the practical princess of London's University, and her previous schools. 

What Mr and Mrs Montgomery would think if they found out that the up-coming rockstar called Freddie Mercury has fallen in love with their daughter, the promising soon-to-be business woman of 1970s London, would scare the singer right off. Or so they'd like to think. Freddie Mercury was not afraid of anything, not of showing his feelings and not afraid to show them. He just didn't tell Brian that he was hopelessly in love with a girl he follows around in his university.

A young man with dreams of becoming a pop star, coming from a working-class zoroastrian family plus an aristocratic business family girl that has her life figured out until the last day? That'd be outrageous. Imagine the newspaper articles! What would people say? It'd surely be in the news because her last name is one of the most popular ones in London, business and finances. A wedding would be the center of everyone's attention.

When he finally does meet her, their conversation is lovely, more than what Freddie would have hoped for. “Hello, sweetheart.” He says to her, approaching her at the university's library. She sits at a desk, reading a book on how to understand laws and court better. Her hair is swept up in a perfect bun and from the long hours already spent in the library, a few strands have fallen out around her cheeks and at the top of the bun. 

She's wearing a white blouse, the first few buttons undone due to the spring weather condition—it's almost twenty degrees in the air. The delicate wrist of her right hand is adorned by a thin-strapped watch and the index finger of that same right hand is decorated by a silver ring with a white gem. It probably costs a thousand pounds or more, Freddie thinks, raising his eyebrows.

Y/N turns her head to the speaker and smiles when she sees that it's the vibrant young man she's seen around school with the tall astrophysicist. He's way more extroverted than his science friend, and dresses in pretty and decorative clothing, also styling necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings and painted nails. She loves how he dresses, but she won't admit it to anyone.

“Hello.” Y/N responds and puts her book down, placing a postcard from Italy in between the pages and closing it. “What are you doing here?” He doesn't go here, she knows that well. He studies design in another university, she's heard that from girls and boys around the campus. What would he be doing in her university's library? Maybe his university isn't big enough in repertoire.

The design boy shrugs and takes a seat next to her at the table. Y/N watches him, his hair hanging around his well-framed face as he gets comfortable in the chair. It's beautiful, really, the dark shade of his hair matches the colour and look of his eyes. “Looking for new acquaintances.” He replies and finally looks at Y/N. He almost loses his breath. He's never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. 

“At a regular university?” Y/N asks and chuckles. He smiles, but looks down, acting a bit shy. 

“You never know what you might find, even here,” he answers, “how is the studying going?”

Y/N shrugs. “It's alright. I'm not really studying anymore, just a bit of light reading.” She tells him. Freddie eyes the cover of the book and nods. 

“Are you going to be a lawyer? A judge?” He questions and Y/N immediately shakes her head, her beautiful bright eyes looking away from his. 

“This is just one of the books that I need for my future.” She says and sighs. She thinks for a moment about her own life, and he watches her as she does so. Y/N then huffs and looks back at the interesting stranger. She smiles wide. Someone interesting is talking to her, and she finds it great. “What's your name?” She asks and takes Freddie's hand between her elegant fingers. She traces them over all the bracelets and rings and notices the painted nails once again.

“Freddie.” He answers and Y/N looks up at him. 

“Freddie?” She echoes and the owner nods. Y/N smiles wide. “I think your name matches your persona.”

Freddie nods with a smile. “That's what I was going for.” He answers and the youngsters both chuckle quietly. “What's your name?” Freddie asks and his tone seems shy. Y/N watches him in thought, tilting her head to the side. She's trying to understand him, see him through his eyes. But he's so mysterious.

“It's Y/N.” She answers. “Nice to meet you, Freddie.” She smiles at him and they shake hands, which makes the both of them chuckle. “I like your nails. Do you paint them yourself?”

“Brian or Roger aren't any good at nail painting, so I have to do the honor.” Freddie answers and proudly leans up, his shoulders broad. Y/N nods and chuckles again. 

“Your friends?” She asks about the foreign names. Freddie nods.

“Band-mates, too.” He says. Y/N raises her eyebrows.

“You're in a band? That's exciting.” She admits and watches Freddie. She wonders what else lies behind the mystical character of this young man Freddie. 

“I'd say you weren't really the girl to come to shows,” Freddie starts and Y/N raises an eyebrow, “but would you like to see us sometime?”

Y/N looks away from Freddie and looks at her own hands. She draws in a deep breath and a nervous chuckle leaves her lips. “I—I can't, uh, be seen at pubs or—”

Freddie interrupts her with a shake of his head. He understands what she's worried about from her nervous facial expression and sudden fumbling of hands. “It's alright,” he places his hand over hers and makes Y/N look at him, “I understand, darling.”

Y/N nods and gives a thankful smile to Freddie. He falls in love with her even more in that moment, how she looks at him almost trustingly. A look of 'thank you' on her beautiful, delicate features. Afraid of being who she is. 

“Can you do... coffee, maybe?” Freddie asks quietly. Y/N chuckles, her head hanging down. She's so beautiful. 

“I could do that.” She answers. “Though I can't promise I won't be studying during our meeting.” Freddie raises his eyebrows and tilts his head from side to side, and Y/N smiles shyly. 

“It works for me, pretty girl.” Freddie says, nodding. Y/N chuckles at the nickname and blushes. He's making her blush, and it boosts his grand ego even more. 

“Does tomorrow at 5 work, too?” She asks.

“Yes. I'll be waiting for you at the entrance door.” He says and Y/N nods in response.

He left the library soon after, a wide smile on his face. The thought of having a date with the most beautiful girl has lifted him seven feet off the ground, and he can barely walk. But Freddie keeps his confident posture as he walks through the university's hallway until he finds the room Brian usually exploits for his late-at-night studying sessions. It's not really late, but Brian has some spare time to do extra studying. Freddie's not sure if he'll tell Brian about the girl that makes him feel like flying off the ground, but he knows that Brian will notice a difference in his behavior.

Y/N restarts to read her book on laws and justice, but can't help thinking of the so-wondrous Freddie who just talked with her. Why would someone so interesting and mesmerizing ever want to talk to her? She doesn't give off an interesting or mysterious feeling, the feeling that you have to work hard to figure her out. Everyone knows everything about her. But Freddie seems to be keen on talking with her and getting to know her, spending time with her. It's surprised her, but pleasantly. And she can't wait to talk to him properly, also hoping that she won't have any new projects or homeworks until 5pm tomorrow. That'd be one hell of a spoiler.

Permanent taglist:

@v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @one-taylor-one-vision@empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @fvckyeahbenhardy 

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@lordofthebutterfliez

[heisenbergchronicles]

APPRECIATION & INTERVIEW

Better Call Saul episode posters by Matt Talbot After 4 nearly years, I thought it was time to catch up with Matt Talbot about his Better Call Saul poster project. The last time we talked during Season 1, Matt was deep in the hustle of making his name as an illustrator: juggling a full-time job, freelance projects, as well as band. Finding time for personal projects like this one can be a significant challenge. (Not to mention surviving the death of your tools: During Season 1 his Mac laptop died, and this season, his Wacom tablet bit the bullet). But despite these challenges, the 43-year-old New Hampshire native has persevered to create a clever and thoughtful series of episode posters that has garnered considerable attention, and brought with it new high-profile clients and art exhibitions. 

First, congratulations on all of your success and recognition with this series of posters. It’s well-deserved. What’s been the most gratifying feedback you’ve received? Thank you! Every interaction I’ve had with anyone from the show has delighted me. I've been surprised by all of the cast and crew members who have said nice things – every note I’ve gotten has meant a lot to me. That being said, Michael McKean randomly tweeting at me that he has my poster for Chicanery hanging in his home blew my mind. I was eating dinner when my phone showed the notification and I literally jumped up from the table. I’ve been a fan of Michael’s since I saw Spinal Tap in the ‘80s and never in a million years would I have guessed I’d make something he valued enough to hang in his home.

Tell me about your contributions to Gallery1988 exhibitions. How does that process work? It's a pretty simple process. They invite me to be part of a show, and I make something to send them. I’m very excited for the opportunity to show there, and I feel like it’s a milestone in my art-making career.

Across the 4 seasons, which BCS posters are your favorites? Which one are you most proud of? I’m particularly fond of Rebecca, Rico, Marco, Switch, Sunk Costs and Something Beautiful. Oh man, it's hard for me to evaluate my own stuff. I tend to like the posters where I find a way to get a different take on something they did in the episode. I would say that “Sunk Costs” is also one of my favorites because I did something differently than how they shot it, and because Mike is so recognizable even from the back. I was also pleased with “Off Brand” because it was when I finally figured out how to draw Bob Odenkirk.

How has your process for creating these posters evolved over 4 seasons? When I started this project I had a vague idea that I would focus on scenes rather than portraits or likenesses, but that didn’t even last half a season! The characters were too good not to include. In that way, the posters have evolved in my willingness to draw characters, and also, hopefully, my ability to draw them. 

My process is now something like: Watch the show on Monday; think about it on Tuesday, figure out what stood out to me and do a thumbnail sketch or two; draw it on Wednesday night; post it Thursday afternoon. I’m a bit faster at drawing these now compared to when I started. And I’m a bit more decisive on choosing which subject matter to depict.

There have been quite a few changes on the visual side of Better Call Saul over the last 2 seasons. New directors (Minkie Spiro, Daniel Sackheim, and Andrew Stanton), a new cinematographer Marshall Adams, even new cameras. What are your thoughts on how the show’s visual grammar has evolved? Has any of this impacted your posters from Seasons 3 & 4? I try not to just redraw literal scenes from the show, and I don’t need to tell you that they shoot the show in an incredibly beautiful way. I mean, they always, always, pick the best angle, the best shot to capture something. For that reason, it’s sometimes hard to to come up with another take on a moment from the show.

That being said, the visual style hasn’t really impacted my posters as much as the evolving subject matter has. The show, I think, is substantially darker than it was in the early going. It was easier to depict Jimmy’s hi-jinx in the first couple seasons. But with Chuck’s deteriorating mental state, the cartel stuff, Mike going deeper into Fring’s world and of course, Jimmy’s loosening sense of morals, the funny moments are harder to spot. That’s lead me to some more somber layouts and color choices.

We didn’t discuss this in our first interview. Which typeface are you using in your posters, or is this custom typography? The main logo and episode titles are set in Sign Painter, from the excellent House Industries.

The Heisenverse is known for it’s color theory and use of color. How has that impacted your color choices in these posters? I’ve kind of adhered to their blue=good/red=bad symbolism, but I also try to balance out colors between episodes and not repeat myself in sequential posters.

Many of your posters (especially ones this season) use a monochromatic, or simple palette of 1-2 colors. Tell me more about why you chose that approach. Is this a signature of your style? I’ve seen this approach in a lot of your work. You know, in the early seasons, I was trying to use simpler color palettes, but I wasn’t very disciplined and I got away from that. I’m trying to stick to a more consistent style in season 4. It is a conscious decision. I also feel like with the week-to-week nature of this project, it helps quickly set apart each poster. And, I really do love limited color palettes. Giving myself color constraints helps me figure out different ways to solve layout problems.

I’ve heard other illustrators say that Bob Odenkirk’s facial features are tricky to capture. Do you share that sentiment? Which characters are more challenging to illustrate? I do agree with that. I had a really hard time with him at first. I kind of think I have a better handle on it now, but I’m always trying to get better. I feel like if you can get his mouth right, it goes a long way.

I found Hector hard to capture both times I drew him. Mike, on the other hand, is just pure fun to draw. Jonathan Banks is so distinctive and iconic.

What’s been the most difficult poster thus far? Why was it challenging? Maybe it’s because a lot of time has gone by, but I can't think of one that stands out as having been really difficult.

Francesco Francavilla did alternate posters for some of his Breaking Bad posters. Inevitably, when artists look back at their work, they consider revising or redoing it because of a variety of reasons – their point of view has changed, their skill/style has evolved, or maybe they were never truly content with the final product. Looking back at 4 seasons worth of posters, are there any that make you want to scratch the revision itch? Yeah, more than I would care to admit. I would really like another crack at Amarillo. I know I could do a better job and that drawing is just super flat. In season two, I decided to to experiment with style and I kind of wish I hadn't. I like Cobbler, but I wish I had drawn it in my normal style. I would redraw Nailed for sure. Oh man, if I start going down this road it's not going to end well, so I'll just stop.

You mentioned earlier this season you were excited to draw Track Suit Jimmy. Who or what haven’t you drawn, that you are eager to illustrate? Howard! It bums me out to no end that I haven't drawn him, but it just hasn't worked out. And I need to include Kim more. It's kind of criminal that her face only appeared for the first time in a poster this season.

What’s your opinion of Season 4? Tell me about your favorites – episode, scene, character. I think season 4 is brilliant so far. The Kim/Jimmy relationship has deepened so much this season, and feels so real, but full of inevitable heartache. Oh, the flash-forward to Breaking Bad’s timeline was amazing. Mike doing his audit in the Madrigal warehouse. Really, anything Michael Mando does on screen. It's hard to pick. I so enjoy the deliberate pace of this show.

Where’s your favorite place to discuss the show? I honestly don’t talk about it too much online, though I lurk in a few places and read a lot. I actually discuss it mostly with my wife!

I know you get this question a lot, so let’s cover it here so folks understand: Do you have plans to sell any of this work online? I really appreciate that people like it enough to want to buy it or hang it, but I don't plan to sell the Better Call Saul posters online. I’m doing this for fun, not to make a buck off the show, and I don’t own the rights to sell it anyway.

What’s next for Matt? Do you have any other poster or illustration projects in the works? Is you band performing soon? I have several more pieces for Gallery1988 shows coming up. I’m pulling together an art show at a local brewery for whom I design all of their labels and stuff. I’m patiently waiting for a t-shirt I designed for one of my all-time favorite movies to be announced. And for the past several Octobers, I spent the month drawing a horror poster per day. I’m not sure if logistically I can do that again this year, but I’ll probably fit at least a few in. We’ll see how it goes. Sadly, with all of my illustration work, I haven’t had any time for music making, but someday I hope to get back to that!

Follow Matt: Web site / Tumblr / Twitter / Dribbble / Instagram / PosterSpy

– Interview by Shayne Bowman, Heisenberg Chronicles

[randomaumemes]

favorite photoshoot

Alex Høgh Andersen Imagine

pairing: Alex x Reader warnings: smut, swearing, but also a lot of fluff I guess summary: Alex takes nude photos of you for the first time

With his last thrust he pushes you back down against him. You immediately roll your hips on top of him and he groans in pleasure, applying counter-pressure, twitching lightly as he slowly comes down from his high. You feel him releasing into the condom for the last time. His lips are pressed together when he breathes out through them and eases his grip a little, realizing how strong it was. His facial expression softens, his fingers start caressing you there. Almost as if he wanted to make up for it, his blue eyes still fixated on where you both are connected. Relaxed and happy you smile down at him and put your hands on his, after which he looks back up to you and slides his fingers between yours. Your sheepish grin causes him to smirk as well and you let go of his hands, leaning forward to kiss him. Only once, then you sit back up and start to raise your hips from him a little. Quickly he takes a hold of himself, reaching underneath you and between the both of you to make sure the condom stays in place. He slips out of you and you lift one leg off of him and let yourself fall back onto the mattress next to him. With one hand on your breasts and the other arm tiredly next to your body you lay there while he reaches for a tissue to wrap the condom in. You don’t look back over at Alex until after a little while, only to notice that he’s already looking at you, his eyes wandering over your body. You let out a silly laugh at his facial expression and remove your hand from your boobs to wave around in front of his eyes. “You okay?” He smirks a little before tiredly chuckling when he snaps out of it. “Sorry.”, he smiles lazily, his accent more noticeable than usual, “I just like looking at you.” You feel the heat rushing through your body because you have to admit, that’s such a sweet, genuine compliment. “Look as much as you want. You’re even allowed to touch.”, You joke, laughing a little, still somehow calm around him. To be honest you don’t mind at all, even if every inch of you is exposed to him, you feel comfortable around him. “Okay wow”, he answers, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, “I was expecting anything but that answer.” He leans a little closer, hovering above you, a playful smile on his full lips “but, you know… not complaining” his free hand reaches for your hip to hold you in place before his face sinks down between your breasts, kissing you there. You let out a squeaky laugh. Your boobs are too small to motorboat them but you already know he doesn’t care about that. “Why?”, You grin when he starts playing with one of your nipples with his hand. You draw in a breath in arousal when his fingers are lightly pinching it. “Why, what?”, Alex asks distractedly, like he already completely forgot what he said two minutes ago. “Why are you surprised by my reaction?” He slowly takes his hands off of you. “Oh, well. The usual reaction when you tell a naked woman that you like looking at her is ‘Ahh, stahp. Don’t stare at me like that, I have stretchmarks’”, his voice is much higher when he tries to talk girly, turning away from you and shielding his body with his arms. Of course he doesn’t seriously believe that. He’s exaggerating and being dramatic. That’s just something he likes to do because most of the time, it makes you laugh. You giggle warm-heartedly. “Alex, everybody has those. Who cares” He turns back to a normal lying position, looks at you and starts to smile so big that you can see his almost perfect teeth. “Do you have them, too?” At first you’re a little surprised. Does that mean he hasn’t noticed them before? He’s seen you naked enough times and you always thought your stretchmarks were rather obvious. But then you figure he just doesn’t care about that. Alex doesn’t pay attention to those small imperfections of your body “Yeah. On my thighs and on my hips. Here.” His glance lowers immediately as he examines the spot your fingers point at, head tilting, before his own fingers wander over the skin, curiousity written on his face. “Oh right, you do.” You smile about his reaction. He doesn’t seem grossed out or averse to them. Not in the slightest. Which only confirms your own mindset. As long as you’re comfortable with whatever feature of yourself, other people will be, too. “Wow I can actually feel them”, he observes, his mouth slightly agape, as if he just discovered something completely new. “Yeah. They’re like small cracks in the skin”, You answer, tracing them with your own fingers. He smiles before his fingers travel higher, strands of his long hair falling into his face, always keeping his glance wherever his fingertips touch your skin. Until he’s arrived at your breasts again, briefly caressing them. You close your eyes in pleasure. But his hands don’t stay for long, they trail higher, up to your jaw and then to your lips. Gently his thumb grazes your lower lip, you feel the calloused skin of his fingers and you smile with closed eyes. You don’t notice the way he suddenly pauses, licking his lips, contemplating wether or not to tell you what’s on his mind. What has been on his mind pretty much since the two of you walked through the streets of his neighborhood one afternoon, equipped with his camera. Since he took photos of you for the first time. His heart rate increases the slightest bit as he thinks about doing something he’s never done before. He breathes out, his thumb traveling from your lip to your cheek before he leans in to replace it’s original spot with his own lips, kissing you. This time, compared to an hour ago, you’re both gentle. It’s obvious you’re not craving each other as much anymore, your bodies satisfied, relaxed and the kiss remaining innocent, with no use of tongue. He pulls back, smiling, looking at your lips, then searching for your eyes as you open them again. “Can I take pictures of you?” he finally asks, looking back and forth between your eyes, waiting for your reaction. He feels vulnerable as soon as the question leaves his lips, worried you might find it creepy. You frown a little, not completely understanding what he’s asking. “You mean -” “Right now.”, he explains himself quickly, “Like that.”, his eyes trail over your body for a second, hand caressing your stomach, “of you laying on my bed, naked.” Your eyes widen a little in surprise, looking up at him trying to read if he’s serious or maybe joking. But he isn’t, his jaw clenches under the touch of your hand, he wouldn’t be this tense if he was just messing around with you. So your eyes trail off, contemplating while you bite your lips. “I get it if that’s too much. If you don’t want to-” he immediately feels self conscious, his tone humorous, but nervous. “No”, you interrupt him, looking back at him, “I don’t think it’s too much. I just… I’ve never done anything like that before” His facial expression softens and a warm smile starts to appear on his lips when his whole body relaxes a little “Me neither. Does it matter?” You look at him and shrug briefly, thinking about it. You know how good he is at taking photographs. He has talent and an eye for it, he’s professional. Some of your favorite pictures of yourself are ones that he’s taken. Why would it be any different when you’re naked? Why not give it a try? “I really want to do this with you. If you’re comfortable with it.”, he interrupts your thoughts, “Do you trust me?” “Yeah”, you almost immediately answer and look back up to him. You do. He smiles down at you. That adorable happy smile he has that you love so much. “Good.” He leans down to you, pressing his lips to yours one more time before gently pushing you back onto his bed. “Stay right here, relax.”, he tells you softly, “I’ll be right back.” With that, he almost jumps from the bed, aiming for the shelf where he keeps his Canon. He wasn’t sure at all if you would agree to it but now that you did, his stomach turns with excitement. He stands there naked for a minute, in the middle of his bedroom, his hair falling into his face while he’s making sure all the setups of his camera are correct and adjusted. Then he walks back over to the bed and to you, putting the strap around his head. He already decided that the lighting is pretty much perfect, the morning sun shining through his curtains, illuminating the room in such a natural way. You smile at him, your head raised off the mattress in curiosity and anticipation. He smiles back at you, taking the first look at you through the lens “Lay down”, he instructs, stepping to the edge of the bed. So you lay your head back down, sheepishly smiling to yourself, trying not to look at the camera at first. His knee rests on the matress as he hovers above you, adjusting the focus. “Stay like that”, you hear him say calmly. And then the first shutter of his camera. A second passes. Then another shutter. This is really happening, you think, you’re actually doing this. It feels much more natural than you thought it would. You see him move a little in the corner of your eye, adjusting the angle he’s capturing you with. Then he takes another picture. “Okay now look at me”, he pulls your attention back to him and you finally look directly into the camera lens. He could swear his heart stopped there for a second. He holds his breath, not saying anything for the first three times he releases the shutter, wanting to make sure he captured it right. He pulls back to check it for a second, looking at the screen of his camera with a captivated look on his face. Somebody please fucking pinch him. This is so much better than every fantasy he had. With his heart bursting with joy and pride, he looks back at you. “Am I doing okay? Should I change anything?”, you begin to ask him, unaware of his thoughts. “No no no”, he stops you quickly, before smiling at you warmly “you’re perfect” You chuckle softly, relaxing back into his mattress and blanket. “Just like that. Let me take a couple more closeups” He’s leaning in and you try your best to bled out the camera and pretend it’s just him you’re looking at. Again, the sound of his shutter goes off a couple times. “Beautiful”, he praises you pulling back a to give you more space, “Now turn around for me, will you?” You smirk a little, obeying him and getting on your stomach. You’d lie if you said it wasn’t turning you on a little, hearing him speak to you like that, even if you know his intentions aren’t sexual. You feel his hand in your hair all of a sudden, gently fixing it and adjusting the way it falls along your back. You wish he’d touch you longer than that, but he already pulls back, dedicated to find the perfect angle to accentuate your curves just the right way. You lay there, the side of your face resting on his pillow you arch your back a little, trying to give him a good view of your ass as you’re starting to get more confident about the situation. He bites his lip in concentration as he adjusts the focus again, and that’s when he notices a few details that he didn’t really see before. The red marks of his fingers on your hips and ass only make the pictures more beautiful to him. He takes a couple, then he adjusts the blanket around you, pulling it over you until half of your ass is covered, focusing on your back and shoulders. You feel the mattress under you sink a little as he crawls onto his bed completely, one leg on either side of you he kneels over you, straddling you to take the next few photos. He stays in that position for a little bit, looking through the pictures. Mesmerized about what it is that you both are creating. This must be his new favorite way of making art. It’s a weird sensation, almost a little like looking at porn, but much more personal and emotional. “Have any good shots yet?”, you ask him, chuckling. “Baby you have no idea”, he answers, the corners of his lips twisting upwards. He’s still naked himself, hovering above you when he decides to take his camera off for a second, placing it on the bed next to you. He looks down at you, large hands caressing your back and traveling up to your shoulders until he leans down a little. You feel his breath hot on your neck “Favorite fucking photoshoot ever” You giggle, then moan a little when he leaves a few kisses on your neck, moving your hair out of the way gently. And then he pulls away and climbs off of you, getting his camera again, thinking about what to do with you next. He can’t really explain what it is that he’s feeling. He’s not nervous or tense anymore. He’s almost as relaxed and focused as he is when he takes regular photos with his camera. But the difference is that this is more exciting, so much more intimate. He climbs back onto his bed with you. You look at him, observing his actions when he lays down next to you, facing you, camera in one hand, the other traveling up your hip. “Straddle me”, he says, his blue eyes slowly wandering back up to meet yours. You nod slightly, slowly raising yourself from your lying position and Alex immediately reacts, lying on his back. You climb on top of him, his free hand supporting and guiding you a little in the process untill you slowly sit down on his naked thighs. Your glance stays there for a second, swallowing at the sight of him being almost fully hard again. What you two are doing is definitely affecting him as much as it is affecting you. You look back to his face and the camera, throwing your hair over one shoulder. You see his lips curling into a half smirk as he looks up at you through the lense, obviously happy with however it looks like. You smile innocently at first, looking down at him. He takes a couple of shots. You look away from him to the side, biting your lip. You hear the clicking of his shutter again. But then you decide to have some fun with it. He’s still focused on you through the lense when he twitches a little, feeling your hands on his dick, grabbing him. “What are you doing?”, he starts to breathe lowly before his back arches at the sensation “Ohh-” he’s gritting his teeth when you grind your hips over his length, holding him between your folds, letting him feel how wet you are, completely taking him off-guard with your actions “Fuckk” he takes his camera away from his face, his blue eyes looking up at you in amazement, examining your face to figure out what you’re up to. A small smile playing on your lips, you grind your hips again, letting out a sigh when you feel him grow harder between your folds. He groans, finally setting his camera aside. He reaches for the drawer where he keeps his condoms in. He takes one out, then relaxes back into the mattress, handing it to you. “Are you sure about that?”, he asks you, eyebrows raised, making sure to have your consent when he grabs the camera again. You nod, looking into his eyes. Then you sit back onto his muscular thighs, tearing open the package and putting the condom on for him. His heart is racing as he tries his hardest to focus on getting his camera ready with your hands caressing him, ready to go for the second round of the day. When he’s done, he looks up at you, nodding. So you raise your hips and adjust yourself on top of him. Both of you hold your breaths when you sink down onto him for the second time that morning, still a little sore from before, feeling him stretching you out until your pelvis is in contact with his. “Mhhh”, you moan out and Alex breathes out relieved, looking at you directly for a second, making sure to enjoy and appreciate the moment before he uses his camera again. He feels a little torn, like he doesn’t know what to prefer; continuing to take those perfect pictures of you or fully focusing on having sex with you. He’s feeling horny and he wants to touch you badly, feeling as much of you as possible but at the same time he really wants to capture you on top of him, riding him. He decides to focus on one thing at a time. So he puts the camera to his face again, biting his lip as you start to move on top of him, rolling your hips. Slowly, rotating. Quiet moans leaving your lips. You don’t pay attention to the camera anymore as you close your eyes, your face twisting in pleasure. You don’t even hear the shutter anymore when he takes the first few pictures of you in this intimate moment. “So good”, you hear him moan underneath you. He decides to stop paying attention to the pictures he’s taking, lowering the camera to his chest to look at you directly, making sure to keep his finger on the release. “Open your eyes, look at me” 

You do. And you smile when you’re finally able to look at his face again. Not looking away from his blue eyes once, you continue to ride him, going back and forth, still agonisingly slow. He seems to have taken enough pictures because one of his hands grips your thigh all of a sudden, finally touching you. He reaches to put the camera away, more than ready to turn the both of you around and make you feel good himself. But you stop him, grabbing it from his hands. He looks back up at you confused when you stop riding him for a second to fiddle with his camera. Then, suddenly, something clicks in him and he chuckles, relaxing back into the pillow and looking up at you. You know the basics of how to work a camera. He taught you that. And now you’re turning the tables. 

You giggle when you see him grin at you playfully through the lens, sticking his tongue out between his teeth. You take the first picture of him laying there, still buried inside you. Messy hair, full lips, muscular chest, well built arms and blue eyes staring into your soul. He’s far too beautiful to not be captured as well. You focus on moving again, pleasuring him, slowly lifting your hips up so he almost slips out of you, then sitting back down in a rotating motion, feeling his whole length, centimetre by centimetre, stretching you out again. You can’t help but let out a moan yourself, before you calm down enough to operate the camera again. Like you hoped, his facial expression is different now. It isn’t staged anymore. With his eyes half closed, brows furrowed and mouth slightly open, his face is twisting in pleasure. You press the shutter release, then you move again. His hands dig into your thighs as he hisses, arching his back a little. You take another picture of him, deciding this would be the last one because the both of you clearly won’t be able to keep this up for much longer.  You bend forward to set the camera on his drawer and he opens his eyes immediately, staring at you as you sit back down onto him, hands resting on his chest. His arms reach around you, pulling your chest down to his, groaning into your ear. “My turn”  Then, in one swift movement, he has the both of you turned around, finally being able to move the way he wants to. You squeal when your head hits the pillow, his facial expression turns serious when he adjusts the condom briefly, then he leans over you again and this time he fills you up completely with one powerful thrust. You moan into his ear in surprise as for the first time a pretty loud groan escapes his lips before he continues with strong thrusts, his hips snapping against yours. Sweat begins to form on your skin, everywhere you’re touching. He lifts his head from your shoulder to find your lips for sloppy, damp kisses that he eventually spreads along your jaw and neck and you feel the familiar knot in your stomach forming. You wrap your legs around his hips, pressing your nails into his back and pulling his upper body closer to you to have more physical contact. Something you can’t get enough of right now. That way the angle of him entering you changes just enough to have him exactly where you need him. With your moans and sighs into the crook of his neck becoming more regular you try to signal him to keep going. “Just like that”, you tell him breathlessly. Breathing heavily, he gives you a couple more aimed and deep thrusts. “Come on baby”, he stimulates you, voice strained, “Come for me” His words and his voice are exactly what you needed to send you over the edge. Overwhelmed you cling onto him and shortly after that you don’t even know what you’re doing anymore as you lose control of your body, your second orgasm rushing through you. As soon as you’re able to think somewhat clearly again, you still feel his fast thrusts, your body much more sensitive then before, and Alex still on the edge of his own release. He’s not quite there yet, you both know he takes longer the second time. So you losen your grasp on him so he has room to do whatever he needs to do right now. He comes back up a little, supporting himself on his arms, lips parted and breathing heavy and you try your best to focus on keeping up with his fast thrusts, which are now turning increasingly sloppy. You become aware of the sounds around you, the faint creaking of the bed frame and the slapping of your skin is filling his room, mixed with his low groans. When you reach up with your arms, pushing yourself away from the head of his bed to be able meet with his thrusts more, his muscles suddenly contract, a throaty grunt coming out of his mouth. He stiffens over you, breath hitching in his throat for a second. You feel his hips jerk slightly, him twitching inside you. When he finally begins to loosen up again, he breathes out with a shaky, relieved moan, leaning forward again. Still breathing heavily, he finds your lips to kiss you. Only once and slowly, then he starts to smile against your lips, chuckling hoarsely. You can’t help but smirk yourself. “Well fuck”, he breathes, exhausted and you giggle “Mhm”. You pull him back down to you by his by now sweaty neck to give him another audible kiss. Then he pulls away, sitting up and the cool air hits your damp skin as he carefully pulls out of you.                                                      You lay on his bedding, refusing to use any blankets because you need to cool down first. Smiling and cuddling comfortable silence as you relax into him, focusing on his breath and his body in a whole different way then you just did a few minutes ago, feeling completely calm. 

But Alex, he can’t help it. He reaches over you to get the camera from his drawer, adjusting the way he lies with you as he presses the button to look at all the taken pictures. “Well,”, he purses his lips, an impressed look on his face, “now I have something to jerk off to” You let out a dirty laugh, shoving him gently. “Shut up” but then your curiosity gets the best of you “Can I see them?”  You end up scrolling through them all, not sure how to feel about it. You don’t know what you expected, it’s new and a bit weird to look at pictures of yourself in such private, intimate settings but you definitely kinda like them. You like the ones you took of Alex more, of course. But there are definitely two or three of those photos he took of you that you feel really good about.  “This one’s my favourite”, he beams proudly at one of the pictures of you on your stomach, your hair spread out on the pillow, zooming in on the red marks on your hips. “Of course it is.”, you mock him, cackling, “It’s my ass.”, knowing exactly which part of your body he’s always liked the most.  “What are we doing with those now?”, you ask him, head resting on his shoulder as he continues to look at them. “I’d say we print them out, I keep yours to myself and you keep mine.” You smile warmly, your hand resting on his toned stomach, cuddling into him just a little more “I like that”  He still looks at them, a sudden wave of excitement and joy rushing over him as he smiles from ear to ear, letting out an adorable squeak. “Ahh they’re so beautiful. I’m so fucking happy we did this.” You giggle at his childlike joy as he puts the camera to the side, smiling and looking at you, his hand reaching for your cheek “I love you so fucking much.”, he beams, kissing you before he pulls you into him, hugging and cuddling into you. “You’re my favourite photo subject”       

Ayyeee my first written imagine on here. 🙌

I barely do those because they take me forever, even longer than AU Memes, especially until I’m content with them. Also this is the first time I’ve ever posted something smutty, so I’m double self conscious right now haha. I hope y'all can give me feedback, that would be much appreciated.  I fucking love this concept, since Alex super into photography and a bit of artsy, I can totally imagine this happening with him and I tried my best to put it into words. 

I wanted to make this relatable, but also somewhat realistic so I had to go into detail a bit. I hope it’s okay that I pictured the reader with small boobs and stretch marks. If that’s not applying to you, feel free to ignore that part. Anyways I hope you enjoyed! MASTERLIST 

[neonabi]

Dreaming of you (Yuta Au)

Synopsis: Yuta’s has dreamed of the same girl since he was 10 years old. One day that same girl that he constantly dreams about moves across the street from him and he’s determine to find out what his dreams mean.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Authors Note: If text is in italics it indicates that it is a dream.

Inspired by: While You Were Sleeping Kdrama :)

1|2|

It was slightly raining. Her figure was the only thing I could make out. Dressed in an all black dress that covered her body shape. Tears emerging from her eyes as she placed her hand on a memorial. She was alone. “Why was she alone?” I asked myself. I reached out to her but I couldn’t touch. Her facial features never changed in the countless dreams I had of her. She just grew older with time. Her hair was longer than it was since the first dream I had of her. As it should be considering the fact that I was 7 years old then now 23 years old. She slowly turned away from the memorial site. The rain had stopped and the sun shined bright onto her damped face as she forced a smile upon her beautiful face.

I closed my dream journal and sat it back in the first draw of my nightstand. I rolled out of bed as the smell of food instantly woke me up. I stretched and dragged my feet across the floor as I headed to the kitchen where my mother was making omelettes and my younger brother Jaemin was sitting at the table going over his studies.

“What a nice sight this is” I said teasing him.

“What are you saying! I always study, Mom don’t listen to him.” He said pouting. I ruffled his hair. “Hey! Stop messing with me.” He raised his fist as if he was going to punch me. I sat down next to him smirking at him. Our mom softly giggled as she sat our plates on to the table pushing them towards us. She gave us her soft smile. Our smile was just like hers. So pure and full of light.

“Okay my loves, I need you two to do something.” She said retrieving her plate and sitting across from us. I rose an eyebrow.

“What is it?” I asked a bit scared.

“We have a new neighbor. She’s by herself. She’s Yuta’s age. I want you guys to give her a warm welcome.”

“Is she cute?” Jaemin asked interested. I hit him in the shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter if she’s cute or not.” I said.

“I was just curious jeez...” He rubbed his shoulders as our mother gave us both a death glare.

“Sorry” we both said in unison.

“I made her a breakfast bowl so take it to her before you two leave okay?” She said before stuffing her face. We both nodded and began to eat our own food.

“What did you dream about today?” My mom asked me.

“Her of course. But I think she was crying and was at a memorial site.... I wonder if the dreams I have about her are things that happened to her? but then again she’s probably not even real” I said sighing getting up from my seat with my empty plate.

“Do you want her to be real?” Jaemin asked getting up as well. My mom tilted her head, her herself was curious too. I shrugged. I wasn’t really sure. I’ve dreamed about this girl for so long... It’s like I grew up with her in a way but... I’ve never met her. It’s weird. Jaemin picked up the breakfast bowl my mom made that was sitting in the warmer. He smiled.

“Come on lets go meet her!” He said with excitement. I shook my head. I had no idea why he was so excited to meet her nor why did he still act like a 12 year old even though he’s 18. We headed out the door and made our way down our pathway. She lived across the street. Once we arrived in front of her home we rang her doorbell twice before she answered. A soft yawn came out of the intercom first.

“Im not interested in buying anything but thank you.” She said in a sleepy voice. My ears ringed. I swear I heard this voice before.

“No no we’re not selling anything. We’re your neighbors here to welcome you with food.” Jaemin said smiling.

“Food? Be right there.” She said quickly.

“She must really like food.” I said quietly.

“Well duh who doesnt?” Jaemin said annoyed with me. I glared at Jaemin. The sound of the gate opening made my attention from him turn to her. My stomach dropped. It felt like I was at the top of a roller coaster and was soon heading down the hill when I saw her face. I was speechless. I couldn’t speak.

“Uh Hello what’s your name?” she asked. Jaemin hit me.

“Sorry this is my weird older brother Yuta...” He said. I nodded without even defending myself which is highly unusual of me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I ran my fingers through my hair.

“Excuse me.” I said walking away from the both back across the street to my house. I ran inside to my room shutting the door. I started pacing through my room biting my nails. It was a habit of mine when I was nervous. I shut my eyes and the imagine of appeared to me again.

“She can’t be her... “ I said to myself softly. There was a knock at my door, without my response it opened slowly.

“Yuta?” My mom said softly. I turned to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Mom... its her.”

“Her? the girl next door?”

“Yes she has the face of the girl in my dreams?”

“Really!? isnt that exciting?”

“No it’s scary.” My mom frowned and began walking towards me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and sat me down with her on the edge of my bed.

“Yuta sweetheart, maybe this is the chance to figure out why you have dreams about her you know? Don’t be freaked out by her. Try to get to know her. Come on get up. You have to go to work now” She said helping me stand up. I embraced my mom into a hug.

“Thanks mom” I whispered in her ear. She nodded in response. I grabbed my bag and headed back out the door. Jaemin and The girl seemed to still be talking.

“Hey Yuta! Where ya going?!” Jaemin yelled at me. I rolled my eyes and waved goodbye heading to my job. My job was pretty simple. I worked with my best friend Doyoung. He was an heir to his Father’s company. His father and My father were partners which is how we met at such a young age. My relationship with my father was complicated which is why I work for Doyoung and not him. I sighed when I arrived to the office.

“Yuta! What’s up man” Doyoung asked walking through my office door. He was such a grandpa. I shrugged sitting behind my computer sighing.

“Did you have a bad dream this time?”

“Not really... It’s just the girl thats in my dreams... moved across the street from me. Isn’t that weird?”

“Maybe she’s your soulmate?”

“as if. be realistic.”

“dude you’ve been having dreams about the same girl for 17 years now and she becomes your neighbor thats the most realistic conclusion anyone can come up with.”

“Tsk”

“So what did you do when you saw her?” I turned my face from Doyoung when he asked me the question. “You ran away didn’t you?” It was silent. “Oh my God you did! How could you!?”

“Dude I freaked out.”

“You’ve been waiting for this your whole life and you ran!”

“Stop making me feel worse than I do!”

“Why did you run?”

“What the hell am I suppose to say? Hey I just met you but you’ve been appearing in my dreams since I was 7 years old and yeah.”

“Obviously not that you asshole. You could’ve i dont know just introduced yourself like a regular person.”

“I dont know man...”

“Do it Yuta.”

“Aish just get out”

“Fine” Doyoung said huffing. I rested my head on my desk groaning.

[spider-bih]

Ugh P.2 [Peter Parker] [Soulmate AU]

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Cursing as always, Mentions of pain, some angst if you squint etc

Part 1, Masterlist

Holy fuck- Spider-Man, Queens hero- was your soulmate? Your soulmate, was in New York, right here- standing right in front of your face? This was him- this was the person you were supposed to spend the rest of your whole life with. Most people your age didn’t meet their soulmates- not unless they were incredibly lucky. Hell, one of your closest friend had a timer, and her timer had years and years to go, but you? Your soulmate was standing right here..

“You..”, you began, staring at the masked hero before you in shock.

“You-”, he replied, but you quickly cut him off, throwing a brown bag with your half eaten cinnamon roll in it, at his face. He caught it easily, “What was that-”

“You asshole!”, you hissed, glaring at him, “Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through? People think I’m completely nuts sometimes! I wake up at three in the damned morning, fighting back screams! God- just last week I felt like I was gonna die! Would it kill you to be more careful?!”

He seemed shocked, but you couldn’t tell with that mask on his face, “What you’ve been through? I’m out here saving lives- I can’t help that sometimes people land some good hits! Plus, I didn’t even know you existed up until like five minutes ago! I’ve grown up thinking I didn’t have a soulmate! I have no tattoo, no timer, no string- nothing that I can see! I’ve had people tell me it might be the pain tie but- I never felt anything from you until now! I almost broke my leg by slamming it into a billboard while swinging! All because you decided to burn your tongue with something- and now you punch a wall! My fist is throbbing, what the hell!”

“What? You didn’t know I existed?”, you asked, exasperated, “How?! I’ve been getting cramps once a month since I was thirteen! How did you not feel them?! It’s not my fault you hit that billboard! Pay more attention and oh, I dunno, be more careful?!”

“I felt them- but I didn’t think they were you! They went away so fast! I never got any marks from you- nothing big enough to signal that the pain I was feeling wasn’t my own! Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have been purposely getting hurt to see if I’d get a reaction!”

“What if your tie to me wasn’t pain? What if it was emotions? You’d be hurting yourself for no reason-!”

“I heal fast.”, he stated, as if it were no issue, “And my pain tolerance is kinda high.”

“Well mine isn’t! People think I’m crazy! My parents think I’m exaggerating because surely my soulmate wouldn’t be out breaking his fucking bones at three in the fucking morning!”, you were shouting now. People often had such beautiful stories to tell of how they met their soulmates. Some even had silly ones to tell- and yet, yours would be this. Your first meeting with your soulmate was an argument- and it was an easy one because you couldn’t see his face. You couldn’t see the features of him that were made just for you- couldn’t fall for whatever color his eyes might be or the facial expressions he made.

“How is that my fault! Like I said, I didn’t know you existed-”

“Everyone has a soulmate you idiot!”

“Not everyone!”, he shouted too now, “I’ve seen some people have no tie to anyone! I live near some people who were born with nothing- just like I was! I thought I was one of those unlucky people, okay?! I-I figured that.. if- if I hurt myself enough- maybe- maybe I’d get a response- and I did. You have no idea what it felt like to grow up thinking I was going to be alone for the rest of my life- or end up with someone who didn’t really love me. I got to watch everyone around me be excited over their tattoos, constantly checking on their timers or gushing about how they were glad to have the easiest tie to their soulmates. I’ve been jealous of my best friend for years because he has a red string! A red string that, if he follows, will lead him to his everything! I thought I was alone!”

His sudden confession shocked you. You didn’t know that there were some people without ties to a soulmate meant for them. You didn’t know you’d been hurting your soulmate like this, and so you were speechless.

“I was so happy to have felt something- even if my tongue feels funny now. I’ve always wondered what it might be like to meet my soulmate if I had one- I just never imagined this..”

You made a face, hating that you felt so guilty. This wasn’t really your fault, was it? How could you have known your soulmate wasn’t getting the pain you felt monthly? How could you have any idea that you had to do something drastic for him to know you existed and that your tie to each other would forever be pain? God- this was insane. Your soulmate was a super-hero. You didn’t know super-heroes had soulmates that were regular people. It never crossed your mind that Iron-Man might be forever bound to a regular woman- or that Captain America or even Hulk, would be tied to a regular every day person. How did the universe think that’d work? Especially with a tie like feeling each other’s pain?

You shook your head, “I just- I need to go home. I can’t even wrap my head around this- fucking hell..”

“I can take you-”

“No. I need to- I can’t- holy shit you’re my soulmate- you of all people.. I need to go alone. I can’t..”

“Me of all people? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”, he asked, clearly offended.

“It means you’re a super-hero and I’m just- I’m me! I’m a regular person! How did the world think this would work? How did it think this was fair?! My soulmate is going to be risking his life daily and I- I’m gonna have to just sit back and- and hope and- oh my god- I didn’t even think of that- what if I were to lose you? I’d have to feel you die- god- I can’t. I don’t- I cannot deal with that- could you? Can you honestly tell me you’d be okay with feeling me die- feeling all my pain fade off and be left with nothing for the rest of your life?”

He remained silent, taking in your words. Could he live with that? He wasn’t so sure- he didn’t even know how May was dealing right now. Her tattoo was now a puffy scar on her wrist. Ben’s name was forever scarred on her wrist- a constant reminder of his absence. He already knew what it felt like to be alone- surely now that would feel so-

“I thought so. Look- I know who you are now and- well- I’ll scream if I need to find you just- fuck please- please for the love of everything, be more careful. You’re killing me dude.”, you said, grabbing your bag and pushing past him.

He stood there, shocked into silence. He’d just met you- he’d gotten his first look at who should be in his life for the rest of his days. He’d seen you- and now he had to lose you? What bullshit- hey wait..

A piece of paper fell out your bag. It lay on the ground at his feet- it was graded homework.

[Y/n] [L/n] was scrawled in the top right corner along with the date and class period- you went to his school? You two even shared the class this homework was for! This whole time..

This entire time- you sat right in front of him, and he never even knew?!

Part 3

Tags: @leilei-draws, @i-larb-spooderman

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: YumeTwins May 19

It’s technically a day later, but I had intended on writing this all of Sunday but I was in such a poor mood that every time I tried I kept walking away after being unable to focus. But I've calmed down and I’m ready to get this started!

“It is starting to warm up the closer we get to summer and we are so excited to feel the sunshine! It is important to go outside and get active but it is just as important to set aside some time for self care. Who doesn’t love to pamper themselves? That is why for this month we have curated a box filled with items that will make your relaxation time more magical and kawaii! Go ahead and draw yourself a bath, and soak in this self love goodness! We hope you enjoy these kawaii goodies as much as we enjoyed putting the Bubbly Fantasy box together for you!“

Contest & Photo Prize

This month, the winners could receive an adorable Hello Kitty plush, while runner-ups could win an adorable little hello kitty strawberry plush; it’s cute enough to eat~!

Meanwhile, the Yume Prize box includes an adorable variety of goods based on Sailor Moon and Cardcaptor Sakura.

Furry Friends Floor Mat

I chose this item first because some of you you might recognize it; I’ve already gotten one from some boxes ago. I won’t be reviewing it, but I will mention that this item was a variety one; so it’s only coincidental I got it again- out of 15 possible carpets. They’re 45 x 45cm and made out of 100% cotton.

The carpet is very cute and a bit fluffy, it feels really nice to step on, and in a way it’s nice I have two, because I could put them by multiple doors if I wanted. Or if one gets ruined by some freak incident, I have a back up.

Gudetama Facial Sponge & Kirby Bath Bomb

Next up is another item I won’t be full reviewing, because again, I get konjac sponges pretty often in these boxes (usually from NMNL or KiraKira). They’re all the same, but what makes this one cunique is that it’s shaped like an egg for Gudetama~

For anyone unfamiliar, Konjac is an “asian potato“ essentially, it’s frequently used as a sponge that helps remove dirt and dead skin cells and comes in various forms. All you need to do is wet it once to use it, then you scrub away the icks from a long day.

-------

Our first real review-able item is this adorable Kirby Bath Bomb, which came in 2 variants, series 1 featuring a flowery-scented yellow bath bomb, or series 2, which featured a pretty pink bath bomb. Each series has their own set of prizes, including a mystery one.

This was also a small part of why I took so long to do this; I don’t like wasting bath bombs so I thought “well what can I do with it so that it still gets used? I already took a shower.“ Then it hit me! I decided that because my feet have been sore recently, I’d try to soak them with it. So I did that, and honestly it felt really good- I think I’ll be doing it more often :P

Anyway, this is the Kirby I got. Cute little guy isn’t he ♥

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The bath bomb smells really good, initially I thought it might have been a citrus scent but the more I smelled it, the more it seemed to transform to floral. I really like it though and my skin that made contact with it is very smooth and soft.  There’s also no staining at all, but because I got the yellow one I’m not sure if the same applies to the pink.

The next time you’re not sure what to do with a bath bomb I’d recommend using it the way I did :3 it feels really nice~

Chibi Animal Plushie

This is our next item, an ultra-kawaii animal plushie! There was 12 different animals we could cute, including panda’s in this style, some sleepy hamsters and other critters, bunnies, kitties, and more!

I think I definitely got one of the “winners“, it was love at first sight for us~ ♥

Peach really liked it too. But I think she just wanted the bag :x

The plush is very squishy soft, one of those mochi-marshmallow types. It’s a little stretchy and very smooshy. It also has an adorable pink button (which you can barely make out in the above picture).

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Putting aside my overwhelming love for it, the plush is also made very well. I didn’t notice any signs of problem with the material or stitching, it’s very sweet.

Sanrio Toothbrush

To go with our theme of self-pampering and relaxation, we also got an adorable Sanrio-themed toothbrush to look forward to. It was available in 5 different designs, each featuring Sanrio’s popular mascots and pink bristles at the center of the brush; a very cute touch I thought ♥

As you can see, I got Little Twin Stars, or Kiki and Lala, however you want to refer to them.

Review: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I don’t really have too much to say about it. It’s a brush. I had been wanting to get a new one and it’s length is really nice. I didn’t make too much of a mess using it, and the bristles aren’t rock hard and rough in the mouth, they feel pretty good. There is also a circle of dots to place your thumb while using it.

Kawaii Glue Stick

Our last item takes the form of creative self-care; for those of us who like to make crafts or need to seal something. But before I get into this, I have a little story for you all...

It took me FOREVER to figure out how to open this! When I got the box I kept yanking and tugging on it, thinking it opened like a normal glue stick, then I tried twisting. I had no idea what to do. I gave up, and so when I took the pictures I decided to pull off the tape/design wrapped around the tube to find nothing. I had tried twisting the bottom a few times, the piece that lengthens the glue stick but nothing happened- until I realize you need to pull and twist!

So yeah, that was not fun at all, and there was no instructions to point this out. Anyway it came in 4 different designs, from unicorns to cutesy drinks to random animals.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

As much of a struggle as it gave me, it does its job. It works well and because of its unique scare shape, it seems to do really well with precision, but I feel like it’s still the same as using a normal glue stick. 

♡ Cutie Ranking ♡

Content - 4.5 out of 5. I knocked down a point over the glue stick because that thing really honked me off. They should have said how to open it or put something on it, now mine looks completely trashed. But it’s still usable. Everything otherwise had great quality and I liked the items a lot. I also loved how nearly everything had variety and is practical!

Theme: ??? out of 5. Once again I was kinda conflicted over this, only because I do see the theme a bit, because yeah, a few of the items can get bubbly/foamy and bring comfort, and all the items do have a sort of fantasy design or feature to them. The Yume Prize also fit it I thought. I wasn’t really sure how to rate this one...

Total Rank: 10 out of 10. I love it when the box brings in a fun, unique mix with each box. But sometimes they’re either really good or sometimes they’re not my favorite. I really liked this one because the mix was different, especially since we normally don’t get things like health and beauty related items in this one- if we do it’s pretty rare. I feel pretty comforted with the box and its practically a good choice in my opinion. I’d recommend this one.

♡ Cutie Scale ♡

1. Chibi Animal Plushie - All of them were adorable but besides the pink panda, I think this would have been the one I wanted the most! I’m very happy I got it, I think I’ll name it Cotton Candy x3

2. Kirby Bath Bomb - The packaging is so colorful and cute, and my little kirby is adorable. It’s a very hard, barely squishable rubber material but I love it~

3. Sanrio Toothbrush - I like it’s white and pastel color scheme, and the pink bristles just make it fun. Like I said, I was planning on getting a new brush so this saved me some money.

4. Glue Stick - It will come in handy since I don’t really have any other glue right away. It’s cuteness factor was kind of ruined by my curiosity in trying to open it, but you win some lose some right? 

5. Gudetama Sponge - It’s just like any other konjac sponge, and I already have one open so I didn’t need to use it yet. But the egg shape is kinda cute...

6. Floor Mat - It’s cute but was a little disappointed I got the exact same one as before from a prior box. But it was a Doki Doki box rather than YumeTwins so that lessens that a little bit. It will come in handy though so I don’t dislike the item. 

[hollywoodx4]

Sticking with the Schuylers (9)

It’s time for a sister-centered chapter…Peggy’s getting under Angelica’s skin…well, lately it seems like everything is getting under Angelica’s skin. And Eliza can sense it. Now she just needs to find a way to address the awkward silences that seem to be happening more and more frequently…

<Sidebar: So sorry this took so long…I’ve written ahead a few parts because I couldn’t quite decide what I wanted this part to be and of course I’m a perfectionist so it took a few tries to get this to a point I  was satisfied with. And then I got sick and have been sleeping 10+ hours a night…what a week! Hope you enjoy!>

1  2  3  4  5  6   7   8

Coffee and Some Schuyler Side Eye:

              The Schuyler sisters were spotted on their usual tryst to class on Wednesday morning, arm in arm and heads bent close in that signature secretive chatter making all of Manhattan wish they were a sister. The three stopped at a nearby concessions stand to grab a coffee, then parted ways for school. But not before youngest sister Peggy pushed her hair back from her face to reveal some serious side-eye, aimed directly at Angelica. Is this older sister over-stepping? Or has being Manhattan royalty spoiled the baby of New York City’s royal family?

…

              “I’m right in front of you, I can clearly see that you’re ignoring me.”

              “You are, and I am. A coffee and two hibiscus teas, please.” The sisters stand by the cart, waiting for their order to be filled as an awkward tension fills the air between them. Peggy has been chatting incessantly their entire way here-the walk soon becoming insufferable as Angelica begins to make her feelings known. Elizabeth, stuck in the middle, became her younger sister’s sounding board as Angelica walked beside them, head up and staring straight with her lips sealed.

              Today, her sisters are not the best company to have.

              She shoots a quick text to Alexander-help, I’m drowning in sisterly tension!­-before Angelica hands her a steaming cup of tea.

“Do you want some sugar in your tea, Peg?”

“No thanks, I’ll take it cold and bitter, like you.” The youngest Schuyler puffs out her chest as her lips draw a thin line, eyes rolling away from Angelica with scorn. Her sister, in return, practically drops the paper cup of tea into Peggy’s outstretched hand, arms crossed and eyebrows raised in an expression she’d been using since they were kids. I’m the kid-boss, she used to say as she kept the two younger sisters at bay. You need to listen to me. I’m the oldest, so I’m the kid-boss.

“Really? You’re going to start?” Now, Angelica still considers herself responsible for her sisters; speaking for the three of them during interviews, fielding awkward questions, interrogating their boyfriends…

Which is where the argument between the oldest and the youngest had started this morning, Elizabeth recounts. When the car had dropped Peggy off at Eliza’s grouping of dorm buildings to meet her sisters she’d immediately began asking questions about her love life-polite questions, albeit a bit inappropriate for Elizabeth’s taste. But she’d laughed them off, ruffling Peggy’s hair and fighting away a blush as she reminded her sister that no, she didn’t know if he was ‘any good,’ they hadn’t even been on a date yet. This earns her a hard look from Angelica, who’s not as amused by the playful questioning.

“You’re being inappropriate, Eliza’s clearly uncomfortable so you might want to stop while you’re ahead.”                

This silences the youngest Schuyler, but only for a brief moment. The trio walks awkwardly, Eliza’s gaze shifting between her two sisters as they clear their throats and sigh for attention. Eliza shoves her cold hands in her pockets, biting her lip as she searches her brain for something to break the silence. But luckily-or, not so luckily- Peggy’s the first to speak up.

“So, Bets, you’ve been spending more time with Alex lately.”

“Yes.”

“Tell me more about his friend.”              

“Which one?” There’s an air about the youngest Schuyler, then, who lifts her head up and looks at the sky, as if searching for the answer as a playful grin graces her lips. She then tosses her hair, shrugging before turning back at Eliza with mischievous, shining eyes.

“I mean, all three of them are beautiful, so….”

“Peggy!”

“But then you remember when we were all there….” Eliza raises her eyebrow as she glances over at Peggy, a silent conversation ensuing. Angelica simply looks on, watching as their facial expressions change and morph until Peggy covers her face with her free hand, groaning.

“Okay, now I don’t know anymore!”

“I have a point about John though, don’t I?” It’s all very matter-of-fact; the way Eliza pushes her dark, silky hair over her shoulder before tilting her head toward Peggy lovingly. There’s a way about their middle sister then-head held high, expression a cross between nurturing and ‘I’m telling you so’-that has Angelica looking away, down at her phone instead of the private conversation going on next to her.

These things, of course, don’t go unnoticed by Eliza.

If any one word could be used to describe their fairer-skinned sister it would be empathetic. Large-hearted, Elizabeth Schuyler has always been one to read the people around her with a marksmen’s accuracy. It was a gift, when that ability was paired with her kind soul and gentle-mannered temperament. She was the peacemaker; often knocking softly on bedroom doors and sitting with teary-eyed sisters, rubbing their backs and soothing them with genuine words that reached her eyes until they transferred to their souls. A healer, that’s what she is. A healer who tended to put everyone else’s needs above her own. And, if asked, Elizabeth would give an ear-to-ear smile when presented with the question of whether or not it was worth it. Yes, of course, making people happy was always worth it.

Until this very moment. Until she sees the upset in Angelica’s body language; refusal of eye contact, slight bend of the fingers that curled nearly into a fist upon the presentation of the topic of conversation…She immediately itches to bring it up. It’s unbearable, really, to see the way her sister reacts when she brings Alexander into conversation. Especially when the trio heads back to Eliza’s room after Peggy gets out of school to get ready for an appearance at their father’s gala that night.

She unlocks the door and her sisters trail in behind her, throwing their bags on the floor before settling on her bed. Peggy lays upside-down, letting out an exasperated yawn while Angelica perches herself neatly, finishing off a text message. Elizabeth pauses at the counter of her little kitchenette, where her vintage-ornate vase is now filled with sunflowers. She smiles and moves toward them, thinking of her roommate and her genuinely kind albeit a bit obsessive boyfriend. But when she finally finds the small card attached to one of the flower’s stems, it’s addressed to her.

They don’t nearly brighten up a room as much as you do….

Tomorrow at 7,

Alex.

              She bites back a smile as she holds the card between her fingers, letting her eyes run across his hasty chicken-scratch handwriting as they bask in its familiarity. The same writing that adorns the letter she still keeps in her pocket, folding and unfolding as if his genuine nature is so much of a shock to need the consistent reminder.

              But then Peggy’s gasping, the sound of the weight on her bed shifting before Eliza feels her presence behind her. She gapes at the flowers, smacking her sister’s arm in excitement.

              “These are adorable but seriously, he talks like he’s from the olden days and he’s trying to court you.”

              “I think it’s sweet.” She replies in a more reserved voice, letting her fingers trace over the buttery soft petals of the sunflowers.

              “I forgot your date was tomorrow…” Angelica pipes up from her place on the bed, her eyes glancing up from the screen of her phone. Her sisters are huddled around the flowers, Eliza’s fingers still dancing around the petals while Peggy looks on, teasing. Eliza looks back at her comment and her features immediately change; her face falls, cheeks looking deflated as her eyes seem lost-saddened, even. Her fingers drop from the flowers and she turns around, making her way to the other side of the room as Peggy looks on.

              “You know if you have a problem, you can tell me.”

              “Bets,”

              “Don’t pretend that you’re not upset, Angie. I can see it. I can hear it…If I had known that my going out with your friend would upset you, I would have never even considered it. He could’ve been yours.”

              “That’s not…” Angelica pauses, then, and pats the spot on the bed next to her. Her middle sister hesitates, then complies, settling herself on her bed with her legs crossed, eyes cast down at the mint green comforter that adorns it. Peggy sighs, shaking her head before gathering her things.

              “This isn’t a conversation for me…I’ll see you at the gala, guys.”

              When the door clicks shut there’s a considerable amount of silence. Eliza finds the hem of her comforter between her fingers, tracing the in-and-out seam of the sewing. Angelica plays with her fingers in her lap, mind racing as she searches for a way to start the conversation.

              “I don’t like that you’re seeing Alex.” Angelica was one to be blunt, but the sentence she mutters lingers in the air between them like an open wound; something the two of them had known but both had been too timid to bring up.

              “I kind of figured that much. I had just thought that you and Church were doing so well, and,”

              “It’s not about my liking Alex. God, no.” She immediately refuses the thought, almost laughing at her sister’s assumption.

              “You’re just…you’re more similar to him. You have more in common. When the two of you talk it’s so fast, and it’s like you could skip paragraphs of things just to reach your point and he’d still completely understand you.”

              “We’re similar. That’s all. He’s good company.”

              “So if it isn’t that, then what is it? Why don’t you want me to see him?”

              Angelica sighs, putting a hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder. She’s reaching, now, her eyes searching an invisible bank of memories-things she hadn’t wanted to bring up-before deciding just how to get her point across.

              “When I started seeing John, do you remember how dad was?”

              “He was…distant. He didn’t like him. But he never likes anyone we see, Ang.”

              “There are things you never saw…things I wish I could take back; the way dad treats John, the way I treated dad…do you remember when dad told you I was selected for a scholarship weekend away? At debate camp?”

              “Yeah…and then the camp extended your stay to a week and you missed your senior semi-formal. And mom hung the dress in the back of your closet, and they talked a lot…and then you came back, and they never even asked you how camp was.”

              “I wasn’t at camp. I was with John.”

              “When…why didn’t you tell me?”

              “And then what? Explain what was going on to my 16 year-old sister? The one who could do no wrong?”

              Eliza’s taken aback at the comment; the way Angelica’s eyes are suddenly very dark-the way she looks past her, to the distance, in a glossed-over gaze that makes her stomach turn in knots. In a way that brings forth a slight twinge of betrayal.

              They’d always told each other everything.

              “Dad never liked John. He still doesn’t. He plays a good game, and it’s much better now than it was before, but it just kills him that John isn’t as rich as he’d like-that Church isn’t a name recognized by his friends and colleagues, so really he can’t show off or expand his name using me. I’d always felt like it was my job. It’s a pressure he never put on you guys, and I always felt so…special. I was the one that would carry on the name. I was the powerful one, the one that would prove everyone right about loving the Schuyler name. And I’m his only biological child…he made me. He chose you. There’s so much more that I have to prove…I have to make his legacy last.”

              “Angie…” Eliza is quiet; a hand reaching out to hold her older sister’s, facial features morphed into a contemplative mixture of pity and confusion. “Dad loves you…he’ll always love you. It may take him some time to come around but this is all so new to him-he’s realizing that his daughters are getting to that age where we’re not always going to be around. We’re not always going to just be here, and that might terrify him. We’ve always been such a tight-knit family…and mom and dad had to fight not only to get pregnant with you, but to get Peggy and I as well. For him, your choosing John….it was like the wake-up call he never wanted to hear.”          

              “It’s the one he’s going to have to hear. I may regret the way I handled things back then but I don’t regret choosing John. I don’t regret the path I’ve taken.” Angie stops then, letting herself find comfort in her middle sister’s hand in hers, the way she’s leaned her head on her shoulder so that Angelica could run her fingers through silken strands of brown.

              It’s reminiscent of their younger days; a crack of light would shine in from the hallway as the door clicked open, accompanied by the sound of Eliza’s tiny feet pattering across the hardwood floor. Angelica would shift over in bed and the middle sister would crawl in, wrapping herself around her older sister, seeking comfort. Sometimes she’d sniffle, then Angelica would dry her tears and soothe her. Sometimes it was the older sister who’d need consoling, then Eliza would hold her hand and recite a long list of things she loved about having her as a sister. And other times the two would say nothing at all, simply holding each other until they both fell asleep.

              “I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I did. I don’t want dad to look at you the way he still looks at me sometimes.”

              “I understand that. And I appreciate that. But you’ve spent your whole life looking out for me…I learned everything I need to know from you. I don’t want you to have to worry anymore.”

              “I’ll always worry about you.”

              Angelica chuckles-an airy and reserved kind of laughter-as she pulls Eliza closer to her. It’s an embrace that suddenly sets the older sister’s lips into a thin line; her arms tighten around Eliza and she feels it, reacts to it by turning her head up in question. Angelica looks back at her, eyes hardened and serious.

              “The other thing I was going to say….are you sure you’re ready? After James,”

              “I don’t want to talk about that.” Elizabeth whispers, her eyes cast back down at the comforter and her body stiffening underneath her sister’s touch. So Angelica waits; listening to the shaky breath her middle sister draws in, before moving her hand through her silky hair once more.

              “He’s different.” Eliza doesn’t answer but Angelica can still feel the stiffness of her muscles. It’s heartbreaking, the way a name-one syllable-can change her demeanor so quickly. And suddenly they’re young again, Angelica holding her closer as the dimmed lighting and soft hum of activity outside her door are the only things tethering them to the world outside of their bubble. She’d known she wouldn’t be able to keep her little sisters free of harm forever; the reality of the world’s cruelty was all-too real to her. But in their bubble-in the safety of Eliza’s room, where she could just hold her-there was a realization.

              “There aren’t many people in this world who deserve your kindness, Betsey. But with the way he’s trying, the way he writes about you…Alexander comes pretty damn close.”

              Angelica Schuyler may not be able to shelter her sister from every bad thing that comes her way, but there would always be a bedroom; or a couch, a place to keep the bubble of security that surrounded them when they held each other. They’d always have each other. And as long as Angelica could keep her middle sister-her warm-hearted, trusting, pure of heart sister-wearing the hopeful smile she was managing at his moment…well, that’d be enough.

[smashdraws]

The things I’ve learned from art school: part 1/?

I’m a second year illustration student, and I’m here to share with you pearls of wisdom from what I’ve experienced and learned in college (so far), from the actual drawing process to attitudes about art/drawing. Most of these things I’ve learned the hard way, and some are from things I’ve seen others struggle with. 

The most work you should be doing in your drawing process is thumbnails/sketching stage.

“There’s no point in finishing a drawing if it’s flawed from the beginning”. That’s what my Composition & Transparent Media professor constantly told us. During our first piece of the semester, he had us stay on the sketching and redrawing stage for a little over a month in order to perfect them. He wanted to make sure the perspective was right, composition was pushed to its fullest, details were added to make every space interesting, the whole shebang. Obviously you’re probably not going to spend a whole month redrawing a piece over and over every time you draw, especially if it’s a time-sensitive project or just a personal piece you’re doing for funsies. However, the sketching stage is where most of the creativity happens. You have to decide on composition, scale, design elements, characters and how they’re positioned in the space, environment, and so much more. And I’d be willing to bet that you won’t get it right the first time.

Give yourself projects when you aren’t in school.

It helps with artist block. The summer between freshman and sophomore year of school I could probably count the number of drawings I did on one hand. To be fair, I was working two jobs 6 days a week so i didn’t exactly have a lot of time, but I found that once I got out of school I had zero drive or ideas. Without assignments from class to draw for, I had nothing to draw, and when I got back to school for sophomore year I had a lot of trouble getting inspired again. It made the beginning of the year really hard for me. Find something, ANYTHING, to draw while you’re out of school, even if you draw fanart for one thing all summer, at least you’re still drawing. 

If a character in your drawing is reminiscent of another character/too generic, think about altering it- especially if it’s a work that focuses on said character.

This really only applies for artists who’s focus/career is character design, but it’s still relevant to others. As painful as it is to hear, it means you might not be pushing your concepts enough. I took a class on Concept Art, and the first assignment was character design. A few of mine were deemed too generic looking, and one was too reminiscent of an existing character. It really hurt to hear, especially since I pride myself on character design and they were for a story I’ve had in development for over 6 years. It really made me feel like shit and made me not want to develop the characters further. But I needed to hear it, and I had to continue developing them for the class, so I ended up overhauling and redesigning the characters until they didn’t seem like the same ones anymore in order to make them more interesting. I hated it, but it’s what I had to do. 

That being said, things like this really make you think about distinguishing your characters and art from others out there. It’s essentially impossible to be 100% original, but that doesn’t mean you cant try your damnedest to make your ideas as close to original as they can get without getting overcomplicated.

When designing characters, mix up the body shape and facial features.

This one is kind of specific, but still important since character design is an important element of illustration. If you don’t vary things up you’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’ from your professors and peers. And frankly, its boring as hell when someone’s characters all look the same. This is something I see a lot, and I can never get attached to an individual character cause they all looked the same! I found that it happens a lot with male characters, they all have defined abs to some degree and perfectly toned arms and honestly, it gets boring when all of someone’s male characters have the same body type. As for face, there is literally no excuse. There are SO MANY KINDS OF FACES MAN. Round, rectangular, circular, heart-shaped, squared. People can have hooked noses, upturned noses, tiny cute noses. Even eyebrows- arched, flat, thick, waxed, faint, or bold. You’re allowed to have preferences for what kind of bodies you like to draw, but don’t be afraid to branch out!

Develop your own style.

As an artist, you need your own style. Imitating other artist’s styles isn’t going to get you far in school or the real world, and chances are, your peers will call you out if your style looks too much like another established artist’s. In order to make a living and gain clients you need a style that you make unique, taking inspirations and aspects from other styles and squishing them together to make one amazing art style baby. Your art style will probably be the deciding factor in whether or not your client hires you! 

Tracing references is OK when appropriate.

As long as it isn’t for a published or commissioned piece, there is absolutely no harm in tracing references. In your down time take some pictures of yourself or find some online and go ahead and trace ‘em. Really pay attention to how the body actually is, how the perspective on legs work, how that hand is foreshortened. Do this enough and you’ll find yourself thinking about all that when you’re drawing normally!

There will always be students better than you, you just gotta accept it.

It’s just a fact of life, unfortunately. When you’re a freshman, you’re in classes with only freshman for your foundation year. You and your peers are all on the relatively same level. What had affected me starting my second year (and I didn’t realize it until much later) was that now that I was in classes with upperclassmen, who had a year or two’s worth of experience on me, I felt as id my art was not up to par. It’s easy to forget your classmates are not just from your grade anymore, especially in electives. All of the electives I took had mostly Juniors and a few Sophomores, and my work always didn’t quite have that polish and finesse to it yet that the upperclassmen’s did have. It’s just a fact of life that you’ll always be up against artists who are more skilled than you , but thats because they have more or different experiences. You have to keep in mind that you can’t compare yourself to them, since it isn’t fair to you that you’re comparing yourself to someone who may have 3+ years on you. 

Learn realism to some extent- figures, animals, everything.

You don’t have to like it, but you can always tell when an artist never learned it because their figures are always off. There is a difference between stylizing and not knowing, and it’s almost always evident. You can see it in the way hands are drawn, noses are rendered, and how they shape and place breasts. Do pages of body studies focusing on hands, feet, leg muscles, back arches, faces, all kinds of stuff. You’ll thank yourself later. 

Your professors and peers will know when you don’t put in your best effort.

They’ll know when you aren’t pushing yourself because you’ll make fundamental mistakes. Slightly imperfect coloring, wiggly linework that wasn’t done quite carefully enough, not bothering to fix those damn feet in the finish. They always know, somehow...even if you’re careful with your laziness.

Buying expensive materials is usually worth it.

It may cost more but your work will benefit from it, and they last so, so much longer. I had to buy 3 brushes when my techniques class was doing watercolor, and in total they costed over $100. I found as I used them that since they were hair brushes and not synthetic, they held so much more pigment and water, and I could get a much finer tip. I was incredibly lucky that my professor provided the paint, which could go up to $20 a tube for some colors with the brand he had. Paper is also something worth splurging on, because let me tell you I have had disastrous effects when using shitty (coughCANSONcough) watercolor paper. The 9x12 paper block I bought for class was $30, and it was the best paper i’ve ever worked on. Absolutely worth the money and I will be buying that brand for projects from now on. And the best thing about all these is that they’ll last forever! 

You NEED to find ways to get excited about a project you hate, because you’re gonna have to do a lot of them.

If you don’t find ways to get excited about projects you’re not too thrilled to do, you’ll never succeed. I learned this in my freshman year very fast, because man oh man were there some projects I couldn’t have cared less about. If you can, gear the project towards one of your interests without compromising the purpose or assigned subject. 

I hope this advice can help some folks! Art school is a lot of tough love, and a lot of stepping 300 yards out of your comfort zone (sometimes by force). But they key is to not be afraid of trying new things! You’ll find things you absolutely hate doing, and will never want to do ever again if you can help it, and you’ll find things that you’ll love to do. It’s all about keeping an open mind!

Keep drawing, keep learning, keep creating.

[josephlrushing]

TCL 10 Pro: A Lot of Phone for a Fair Price

I’ve been tied to iOS the last few years out of necessity, not a choice, so I’m always excited to test drive how things are going in the Android world. The TCL 10 Pro absolutely blew me away; it showcases the best of Android at an extremely wallet-friendly price.

The TCL 10 Pro is a larger smartphone, measuring 6.24″ tall by 2.85″ wide by 0.34″ thick; it weighs 6.6 ounces. The 10 Pro runs Android 10, and it is powered by the Qualcomm Snapdragon 675 mobile platform and a 4,500mAh battery. The phone has a 6.47-inch FHD+ curved AMOLED display that features a 19.5:9  aspect ratio (1080 x 2340 pixels). The phone comes with 6GB RAM and 128GB, with 103GB available to the user; it can accept a microSD memory card up to 256GB. The TCL 10 Pro is an unlocked phone, which means it will work with all major carriers in the US, with the exception of Sprint. It also means that it won’t come with a lot of carrier-added nonsense apps.

Here’s a quick walk-around of the device.

The biggest thing about the TCL 10 Pro is the screen, both literally and figuratively. It sports a 6.47″ screen using what TCL calls “NXTVISION”, which is an adaptive technology that alters the screen to make it sharper and brighter for streaming and subdued for less eyestrain for reading.

You can actually go into settings and specify which apps you want for reading mode, which is great if you’re a news junkie who uses multiple news apps-you can set some or all to reading mode. While it’s not the same experience as reading with eInk on a Kindle, it’s significantly more comfortable than reading with a regular bright screen.

I found the streaming settings to work quite well, too, giving even dark scenes that extra touch of sharpness and detail that made it more pleasant to watch on a small screen. Again, it’s not going to replace watching it on a full-size TV or even a 10+ inch tablet, but it’s noticeably sharper than my iPhone 11.

TCL crammed four cameras on the back of the 10 Pro, ranging from a 64MP with autofocus to a 2-megapixel low-light video lens to 16-megapixel super-wide-angle to a 5-megapixel macro lens.

In other words, no matter what shot you need, you can get a good one with this phone. The actual camera software is pleasant to use, it’s very intuitive and responsive, and I had zero issues with quickly snapping shots of my son playing.

  I find that “how fast can you snap a photo of a moving child” is a useful metric of how useable a camera is since kids are adorable AND unpredictable, so you want to be quick on the draw. I think the photo quality is very good. While some shots look a little bit oversaturated versus the same ones taken with my iPhone 11, “slightly oversaturated” is hardly a dealbreaker when the camera holds up that well against a phone that costs almost twice as much.

  Left was taken with my iPhone 11; right was taken with the TCL 10 Pro.

I do not do much with video, but my 7-year-old is preparing for his future career goal as a “YouTuber” by recording videos all the time. He’s not thrilled I won’t let him share his video diaries with the world, but the video quality is good, and he’s had no issues with recording what feels like hours of him re-creating Power Rangers scenes.

There were a few features on the 10 Pro that made me really sad I couldn’t use it as my daily device. First, it has facial recognition, a fingerprint reader built right into the screen, AND the usual PIN/pattern unlock option. I didn’t realize how much I missed having a fingerprint reader until this phone, and there have been times where I’ve had a long shopping list and used the TCL in place of my iPhone solely for the ease of use of the fingerprint reader. It is just so much faster to zip through the grocery store when it takes one tap of your finger to unlock and check your list, versus typing in a full password. Admittedly, due to some employer constraints on my iPhone, I have to use a complex password, and this would be less of a pain if I only had to use a 4 or 6 digit PIN. But still, it doesn’t change the fact that TCL managed to tuck an accurate fingerprint reader under the screen, and it’s one of those little things that make using it so much smoother.

Another cool feature is the Edge Bar.

The 10 Pro has rounded edges, which some people love, and others hate, but TCL did include a handy feature where you can pin several apps and contacts for easy access, plus it doubles as a ruler. Granted, you can only measure 4in at a time, but if watching hours and hours of Odd Squad with my son has taught me anything, it’s that you can use a small ruler to measure any size as long as you mark your place. (It also made my son an absolute whiz at number lines, but that has nothing to do with this phone.) Between this and widgets (do not get me started on how much I miss widgets when I have to use iOS), you can truly customize the phone’s interface to how you work. It just adds another layer of customization, one of those little features that go a long way.

TCL did an outstanding job making the front-facing camera as unobtrusive as possible. It just barely dips into the top of the screen and doesn’t really stand out or look out of place.

The 10 Pro has a 24-megapixel front-facing camera, and selfies and video chats look great; it has all the beauty filters that you might want to access. I haven’t used it much, but my son’s best friend has an Android tablet of some sort, and the two of them use Google Duo to call each other nearly daily. From what I can overhear, the sound quality on the calls is excellent, as is the video quality.

The battery is a 4500mAh and offers fast charging. I’ve found that it lasts forever! I’ve been charging it 1-2 times per week, and it usually gets between 1-3 hours a day of use by my son. It has Quick Charge, so you can go from 0 – 50% in about 35 minutes. Admittedly, there’s no SIM in it right now, and he’s mostly using Google Duo and occasionally the video camera or Minecraft, but it’s definitely got excellent battery life. There’s also a headphone jack (handy if you lose your Bluetooth earbuds or they aren’t charged!), and a side button that can be customized to bring up anything, which I have set for one tap for the camera, two for Google Assistant, and long-press for the flashlight.

There’s very little to dislike about the TCL 10 Pro. The main issue I see is that the sides are very sloped, which makes it difficult and slippery sometimes, and the curved-edge screen takes a little adjusting, so you aren’t accidentally swiping out of what you were doing. TCL did include a case with the phone, but a few days of practice, and it’s been fine without one. Even after a summer of being in the hands of a 7-year-old, there are no visible scratches or blemishes.

Overall, the TCL 10 Pro is a fantastic deal. For $449.99, you’re getting a solid Android device with a jaw-droppingly good display and several little software tweaks that make using it a customized and smooth experience.

The TCL 10 Pro retails for $449.99; you can learn more about t on the TCL site and you can purchase it from Amazon [affiliate link] and other retailers.

Source: Manufacturer supplied review sample

What I Like: Amazing screen; Thoughtful software design; Good camera; Amazing battery life; Very tough build quality; Includes a case; The headphone jack!

What Needs Improvement: Some photos can be a bit oversaturated; The phone can be quite slippery without a case

The post TCL 10 Pro: A Lot of Phone for a Fair Price first appeared on GearDiary.

from Joseph Rushing https://geardiary.com/2020/08/31/tcl-10-pro-a-lot-of-phone-for-a-fair-price/

[kat650]

Using colour in my art is a relatively new experience for me. Most of what I drew before this course was in black and white with an emphasis on realistic drawings. I often wondered why I was more confident using monochrome and feared using colour especially as I have always admired artists who used bold, bright colours in their art!

Other than just being aesthetically pleasing to the eye, colours are highly linked with energy and emotion. From ‘feeling blue’ to ‘seeing red’ and  ‘being green with envy’, some of the everyday idioms we use to express our emotions, colours have a daily impact on us. We feel happy and positive on a bright sunny day and low or drained when it’s dark and gloomy. We live in a colourful world, both in a literal and metaphorical sense and many of our everyday choices involve colour to a certain extent, from the clothes that we wear to the food that we eat.

Throughout history artists have been mixing and making their own colours, sometimes deriving pigments from unusual or even hazardous sources. Certain colour palettes have been favoured by each of the art movements; the Fauves were keen on outrageous, bold colours and believed that colours had a spiritual quality and because they were directly linked to emotions they wanted to use them at their highest possible pitch.

Artists have all along been choosing colours that they feel connected to, using them to express their emotions and hoping that their choices resonate with an audience.

Vincent Van Gogh 

When Van Gogh met the Impressionists he abandoned his use of dark tones in favour of pure primary and secondary colours and over time, his superb colour sense along with his decisive brushstrokes became his signature style that has stood the test of time.

His painting of Noon (after Millet) is one of my favourite ones; although he used a limited palette, I really love his bold, almost explosive use of the warm yellows and oranges against the deep blues. This painting makes me feel happy and serene at that same time.

There is a harmony and balance between the warm and cold colours and in my opinion, there is a serenity and mellowness that emanates from this painting. Firstly, because of the scenery and the fact that the two people are resting. Secondly, because of the colour hues that Van Gogh chose to create this tranquil feeling which would not have been achieved were he to use the exact same colours in their pure form. His clever use of mark making is suggestive of movement amongst the stillness and the passing of time while the two people are taking a nap.

Noon (after Millet) 1890

In  one of his letters to his brother Theo, while he writes to him about his painting of the Night Café, he describes his choice of colours with obsessive detail, referring to their intensity, hue and saturation as well as symbolism.

“I’ve tried to express the terrible passions of humanity with red and green. The room is blood red and dull yellow, with a green billiard table in the middle; there are four lemon yellow lamps casting an orange and green glow. Everywhere there’s a struggle and a clash between the very different greens and reds-in the small figures of the sleeping good-for-nothings, in the sad and empty room in violet and blue….”

It is evident that colour meant a lot to Van Gogh because he perceived it as a form of a visual language.

When his mental state became fragile towards the end of his life Van Gogh carried on painting his self-portraits in colour, many of them engulfed by blue as opposed to black or any other dark and ‘heavy’ colours. Blue is one of the so called ‘cold’ colours and

The intensity of his palette, however, had changed and reflected a change in his emotional state.

From a symbolic point of view, it is thought that the colour blue has religious significance and symbolises the divine and spiritual; so the blue in his portraits, whether used consciously or subconsciously, has psychological connotations and could be seen as his quest for God.

I have often looked at Van Gogh’s works while looking for inspiration. I find his work visually exciting and stimulating and will continue to do so in the future.

Gustav Klimt

I love Klimt’s work and the way he explores colour, shapes and patterns. The small geometrical shapes dotted around the painting form pools of patterns and remind me mosaics. The body appears to be supported and enveloped in a multi-coloured quilt. It’s as if Klimt couldn’t bear to leave any of the colours out of his paintings!

The gold within his portraits acts as a mirror and reflects light giving his portraits an opulent feel and makes me think as though I am looking at one of the most expensive paintings in the world! The golden hues also remind me of Greek Orthodox Iconography which I grew up with.

I love the richness of the warm golds, browns and reds and how he gathers and contains those small coloured shapes within bigger, flowing, almost moving shapes that seem to overlap with one another. Every here and there one can notice a few ‘cold’  colour accents’ of greens and blues that help create a dynamic equilibrium!

Adele Bloch-Bauer, 1907

Elizabeth Peyton

I wanted to revisit and re-examine the work of Elizabeth Peyton as her portraits are focused mainly on the face and see how she uses colour. I also like her free and expressive brushwork/pencilwork along with her choice of colour to portray her subjects; when I look at her work I get the feeling of  a spontaneous and intuitive way of working.

Portraits of Chloe, by Elizabeth Peyton.

Another reason I like Peyton’s work is because she does not seem pre-occupied with detailing the background and uses colour as pattern to create a sense of space. Similarly, I like to focus my energy and attention on the people’s facial features and expressions, leaving the background white or abstracting it.

On some of her portraits she seems to focus her efforts on injecting most of the colour on the model’s clothes and surrounding environment, leaving their face almost blank as an indication of them either lacking emotion or being bathed in light from within! This method provides harmony and balance within an artwork as there are not too many things to overstimulate the brain!

Some of her sitter’s features like the eyes or lips maybe accentuated with colour; she most probably wants to bring to our attention that the eyes are the windows of the soul and the lips, (often painted bright red on both male and female),  not only are they used for talking but are also a symbol of sexuality.

She uses colour both in a what I call ‘concentrated’, almost pure form that has been deposited quickly onto her support with only small hint of tonal variations. In sharp contrast to the large areas of colour she uses raw, emotive lines that are minimally blended and create the feeling of dynamism and movement as well as texture. Some of her portraits are bathed in rich, opulent colours, bursting with warmth whereas others have a cold and distant feel to them. Two examples are the portraits of Chloe which I find very warm and appealing and the portrait of Daniel that feels cold and eerie.

Daniel, by Elizabeth Peyton.

The emotions of her sitters are hard to translate because although their expressions are quite sombre and make me feel as though they maybe sad or contemplative, her use of bright colours would suggest the opposite. Although in her painting of Daniel the watercolour drips resemble tears and her muted palette is suggestive of his dampened spirits and sadness. It may be the case that Peyton wants to juxtapose her sitters’ perceived fame and glamour with the quietness and sadness of their inner worlds that are in fact the opposite, (none of her sitters are smiling).

    All Too Human Exhibition , visit at the Tate Britain Gallery, 14.05.1

During my late visit to Tate Britain I had the opportunity to see some of Francis Bacon’s artwork.

His paintings really stood out from the crowd for their unusual, abstract representation of the human form, minimalistic compositions and dull colours. At first glance his portraits seemed frightening, inspired by violence and nightmares.

Although black dominated some of his work, he did use subtle colours to suggest human flesh and the surrounding environment. His figures and portraits resemble apparitions,  raising questions as to whether Bacon was preoccupied with death or dealt with mental issues.

Sometimes a bright colour such as the yellow in the image on the left, creates a focal point and draws our attention towards the middle of the painting.

When I first looked at the yellow ring in this painting I thought of a halo or maybe a portal to another world. Although in most cultures the colour yellow symbolises brightness and happiness, in others it is synonymous with death. So it is possible that the three figures are encountering a transfiguration of some sort!

The juxtaposition of the yellow and grey in this painting create a simultaneous contrast and exploit our psychological capacity of colour to arouse intense emotions.

There is no doubt that Bacon’s dark, earthy, moody tones in combination with his aggressive mark making conveyed messages of anger, angst and emotional trauma to the viewer.

We all have a personal relationship with colours and there is unequivocal evidence that colours have emotional and psychological effects on all of us.

I would like to finish with one of Kandinsky’s quotes that sums it all up: “Colour is the keyboard, the eyes are the harmonies, the soul is the piano with many strings. The artist is the hand that plays, touching one key or another, to cause vibrations in the soul”.

  References:

Drawing now, eight propositions, Hoptman, Laura J. 2009. New York: Museum of Modern Art.

https://colormatters.com/color-and-design/basic-color-theory accessed 17.05.18

http://artyfactory.com/art_appreciation/art_movements/fauvism.html accessed17.05.18

http://www.theartstory.org/movement-fauvism.html accessed 17.05.18

http://www.psyartjournal.com/article/show/bekker-color_and_emotion_a_psychophysical_analy accessed 17.05.18

http://www.webexhibits.org/vangogh/letter/18/533.html accessed 17.05.18

http://www.webexhibits.org/pigments/intro/history.html accessed 17.05.18

http://www.webexhibits.org/colorart/contrast.html accessed 17.05.18

Assignment 5- Research: Colour and emotion. Using colour in my art is a relatively new experience for me. Most of what I drew before this course was in black and white with an emphasis on realistic drawings.

[camillawinqvist]

Letter of intention

Dear Sir or Madame.

My name is Camilla Winqvist and this is my letter of intention as I am applying for the bachelor in Graphic Storytelling at The Animation Workshop. You can find my online portfolio here: https://camillawinqvist.tumblr.com/ My reason for applying might initially sound like a mundane one, but there is no other way to put it. In short: I love art and want to spend the rest of my life doing it. I have previously dipped my feet in other careers, but time and time again I find myself beckoned back by the pencil and the sketchbook. Drawing and illustration have given me a unique voice to express myself, and if art is a language I want to be able to speak it fluently.   It all started when I was a kid. I remember the night where I lied down in the damp, cold grass in our backyard and looked up at the sky, as I often liked to do. But this was the first time I saw it. It had rained earlier that day and the smell of raindrops hadn't quite left the air yet, and I could hear distant shouting from our neighbours down the street. In that moment, I was dazed. Astonished. Somehow this speckled sky managed to make my own worries seem infinitely small compared to the deep, timeless darkness that expanded above me. That night this newfound curiosity about Earth, space, and everything in between, awoke. I started to observe everything around me, letting myself take it in, and then scribbling it down. The walls of my bedroom were covered with drawings of space, people, animals - anything I could think of. I began to write and create accompanying worlds for my drawings and I put the stories down in little notebooks. This is something I still do. I love creating my own worlds and trying to capture the peculiar little anomalies that already surround us. Reading this, you've probably figured out that I'm a bit of an astronomy nerd – which originally led me to the path of becoming a scientist. I initiated my studies at the physics program at Lund University in 2013, but even though I had been excited to start, I quickly figured out that something didn't feel quite right.

While everyone around me were entranced in their notes, listening closely to the professors words, I, on the other hand, was more captivated by his many different facial expressions - trying to sketch and get the right feeling of his hands flapping above his head as he tried to explain the intricate formulas written on the blackboard behind him. I just never felt quite at home. So I changed my whole plan. I took out all of my paints, bought new sketchbooks, and I drew. I drew every single day. I got accepted into Lunnevad Art College and after just the first few days I felt like I truly belonged.

I studied everything from pottery making, to colour theory, life drawing, and graphic printing. During our second year we got to choose what courses to study and we ultimately decided entirely on what we wanted to work with. I chose to focus on painting, and then later on, animation and illustration. I graduated from Lunnevad Art College in 2016 and have since moved to London and started working as a freelancing artist and part-time bartender. I've always been a huge fan of travelling and I'm truly enjoying my time abroad. Coming from the small, shy country of Sweden I'm amazed at the diversity and friendliness of people here in London. They're always happy to let you get to know them and that's what I truly enjoy when it comes to my bartending job.   As for my work as a freelancer I mostly do commissions for private persons. I have also made illustrations for a few different companies and I'm currently working together with an author to design and create artwork for his two main characters from his book series Sam Hain.

I have lots of experience using Adobe Photoshop, as it is what I am currently using for most of my artwork. I'm also very familiar with Paint Tool Sai. When it comes to video editing I have experience using Adobe Premiere as well as Sony Vegas and I've animated short films in TV Paint. I have novice knowledge of Adobe Illustrator and InDesign as well.

On the topic of my professional work I'm very inspired by current digital artists, an example of which is Lois van Baarle, of whom I'm a big fan. She's a Dutch digital artist whose art has been featured on the covers of several Wacom products, and she's done work for Blizzard, Lego, among others. Her art has an iconic style with inspiration from both comic books and Disney and you can look at any of her drawings and instantly tell it's hers. I want to achieve the same thing with my art. I want to develop my own signature style which makes my art instantly recognizable. I also love how she plays with colour. A toned down orange could be juxtapositioned against a neon turquoise or a soft gold next to a rich, deep, purple.

Another current artist I'm inspired by is Igor Artyomenko from Russia. He's most known for his work on the Banner Saga video game series and does absolutely amazing environmental paintings, as well as character designs. Again I'm a fan of his colours, although he uses a more toned down palette than van Baarle. Artyomenko's ability to play with saturation to create depth is something I admire, and I wish to learn more about colours so that I could use them in the same way. His character designs also leave me something to strive for. He has a definitive style to his characters but they always have something unique and interesting about them, and he has an ability to notice the small details that really make a character stand out. An animated series that I really enjoy is Over the Garden Wall, created by Patrick McHale. It is a short series, coming in at only ten episode at ten minutes each, but it is still a truly great one. It features two brothers, Wirt and Greg, as they are lost in a forest, or “the unknown”. The animation is flawless. The amount of detail they put into their characters and settings is astonishing. You can see the individual specks of dust floating around in the sunlit air by the window in one scene, and the characters are visually able to tell you who they are without even opening their mouths. The show not only features great visuals - the story also leaves just enough unsaid to keep you thinking, wondering. It's one of those shows that stays in your head days after you've finished it. Aleksandr Petrov is an animator I absolutely look up to. His short films, usually around ten to twenty minutes long, all look like moving oil paintings. You get mesmerized by the story, but not just the one told through words, but the one of how light contrasts the dark, how the colours interact, how the characters move, what their faces are telling us. My favourite of his films has to be The Old Man and the Sea, based on the story of the same name by Ernest Hemingway. The story is an all time classic and combined with the animations of Petrov this film is just breathtaking. Another film maker, and comic artist I'm a huge fan of is Satoshi Kon. He has directed films such as Paprika and Perfect Blue, amongst many others. He's an expert at blurring reality with fantasy. Especially in Paprika, which is my favourite of his films. The story is set in the near future and features a psychotherapist who uses a newly invented device that lets her enter the dreams of her patients. The editing in this film is like no other, just the scene transitions alone oozes of creativity, and Satoshi Kon is a master of composing beautiful scenes. A lot of them have become so iconic that they have been reused in other popular films – Inception and Black Swan being just a few examples. I love how Satoshi Kon can find a way to show you what's happening without actually showing it happen. For example, there is this scene in Tokyo Godfathers where an old man is dying. He is surrounded by windmills that are all turning at a constant speed. As the windmills are slowing down and eventually stop you realize he has passed away. As much as I'm learning by watching and reading great books and films, there are things to be taught from the bad ones as well. Not only should one learn what to do, it's equally important to learn what not to do. Gaming is a big hobby of mine and the Fallout game series is my all time favourite. However, the latest addition; Fallout 4 by Bethesda Game Studios, left something to be desired. Claiming to be a role playing game, you start the game off as either a father or a mother trying to find their infant child out in the post-apocalyptic world. As much as I appreciate the story element, this completely removes the ability to create your own character and choose who you want to be in this game. As the game progresses you realize that the choices you make throughout the game have little to no impact on how the story plays out and it feels like you're going through a written script instead of actually being a part of the world.

Another thing that can truly lessen a work is uninteresting characters. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer is a great example of exactly this. At the end of the book all you have learned about the main character is that she dislikes the rain, and that she's clumsy. Never do we learn why she feels the way she feels or why she wants to do the things that she does. I've always been of the mindset “simple stories, complex characters,” and this book does not live up to that standard.

To expand on this, I also want to talk about stereotypical characters and predictability. I recently watched the pilot for the live action series Supergirl, and only a few minutes in I could already pinpoint what the major characters personalities would be like, what their relationships were and how their story arcs would play out. This is something I try to avoid at all costs in my own work. I love thinking of new ways to tell a story or discovering unique quirks and backstories to give my characters. I want to keep people wondering, pondering, and questioning what will happen. To make them feel like they just have to turn to the next page.

As I'm finishing up my letter I would like to allow myself to dream for a bit. In the future I would love to get the chance to make my own full-length comic. I think it encapsulates everything I love about art. Storytelling, character creation, world building, telling my stories using colours, expressions, movement, and composition. I would get to utilize my whole range of creativity and that thought sincerely excites me. I would also love to work with concept art and character designs for games and films. Storyboarding is also something I find really intriguing.

I think there will always be a place for graphic novels, even in the future. As 3D animation is becoming more and more popular more people will find comfort in actual drawn images and stories and I hope I get to be one of the people who creates them. If I were to get accepted to The Animation Workshop I would finance my studies using student loans from CSN. I also have money saved up if needed. Thank you for reading my letter Best regards, Camilla

[exosmutxoxo]

Dangerous Woman (Part 2) 🌙

A/N: I’ve finally uploaded the second part of DW after a trillion years so I apologize to everyone for the long wait! In this second part, there’s no smut but there is plenty of angst and drama and emotional turmoil (I promise more smut in future parts). Also, I added in Luhan’s POV to make the fic more interesting! Enjoy this, and remember to leave some feedback in the ask box at the end of it! x

Pairing(s): Luhan x Reader

Warnings: Some violence near the end (on the reader’s part) and just angst all the way

Genre: Angst

Requested: No

Summary: Luhan and call-girl! Reader battle with their own emotions when it comes to falling for each other.

Word Count: 5886

Soundtrack: I Don’t Wanna Live Forever // Zayn, Taylor Swift

PART 1 | PART 2

By the time I wander through the double doors of the brothel where all of this call-girl nonsense started years ago, the tears I’ve been trying to hold back for the past hour finally spill over, causing my ‘waterproof’ mascara to leak down my cheeks horribly.

Dragging my bag of discarded lingerie, cat ears and handcuffs behind me, I suck back a mournful gasp as I keep my head down, too humiliated to let any of the other lingering call-girls catch a glimpse of my beaten-down form. Thankfully, nobody takes notice of me as I speed-walk to where Sehun is comfortably seated behind the receptionist’s desk as always, his feet propped up on the table as he taps away at his phone enthusiastically.

Upon hearing the shuffling of my feet, my best friend lifts his head with that oh-so-comforting grin of his, parting his lips to say hi. But his cheery demeanour drops as soon as he catches sight of the state I’m in, with my tangled hair and teary eyes and ugly black lines of mascara running down my face.

Bolting upright, Sehun plonks his phone on the table and puts his feet back down on the ground, holding out his arms to me. “Oh, (Y/N)”, he says softly, “what happened? Was the sex that bad?”

I give a watery laugh through my sobs, dumping my bag by the desk and hurling myself into his arms. Immediately, his hands start stroking themselves down my hair protectively, rocking me back and forth. “Did he hurt you?” He demands, pulling me back to stare me right in the eye with an air of severity.

I shake my head, blinking at him through the fresh tears flooding my vision. “Sehun”, I hiccup, “what’s it like being in love?”

Now it’s his turn to blink at me bewilderedly, confusion clouding his features. “What do you mean?” He asks gently, ruffling my hair affectionately. “Haven’t you ever experienced the ‘butterflies-in-tummy’ feeling?”

“No”, I admit, sniffling. “Do men feel that if they like a girl?”

“Yes. Well, that depends on the man. For me, it’s more like the whole fucking zoo in me whenever I see the person I’m in love with”.

“If I give a man better sex than I’ve been giving him, will that make him love me?”

The confusion in Sehun’s eyes melts into shock, then gradually morphs into sparks of anger. “Don’t you ever think about that”, he hisses, grabbing me by both arms and giving me a gentle throttle. “Don’t you ever confuse sex with love, (Y/N). You’re worth so much more than your sex drive. Don’t ever let a man -or anybody, for that matter- tell you that sex equates to love. If a man loves you, he’ll love you for you and not your blowjob abilities”.

“But that doesn’t apply for me”, I shoot back hoarsely. “I’m worth nothing. I’m just a cock sleeve, I’m just somebody men use for their pleasure. I’m not somebody people look at and think ‘Oh, I think I’m in love with this girl’. Instead, all they think is, ‘Oh, I wonder how many dicks she can take at one go’. I’m just a fucking toy, Sehun”.

“Who’s the lucky guy who stole your heart?” Sehun asks matter-of-factly, resting his hands on my shoulders fleetingly and gazing at me sternly.

I turn away moodily, wiping at my eyes with the back of my wrists. Black smudges of mascara are left behind on the skin, and I internally cringe at what an awful sight I must be. “How’d you know?” I sigh.

My best friend clucks his tongue in response. “Ah, (Y/N), you’re such a cinnamon roll. I’ve known you for years now. And you’ve never ever come back to the brothel with tears in your eyes and an existential crisis until today. I’ve always admired you for easily drawing a line between your feelings and your job and I would be lying if I said that I’ve never questioned how you make it seem so easy. And today, you come back in this state so it’s no mystery that something’s bugging you”.

I rest my cheek against his broad shoulder exhaustedly, closing my eyes. “This is why you’re my best friend”.

“So spill”, he presses. “Finally accepted your feelings for Luhan, huh?”

“Just because I came back bawling my eyes out after having sex with him doesn’t mean I’m in love with him”, I retort defensively, feeling my cheeks warm up at the prospect of actually falling in love with one of my clients.

“Oh please”. Sehun scoffs. “I’ve seen the way your eyes light up whenever you realize the client on the phone is him. I’ve seen the way you excitedly bolt for the door whenever it’s time to meet him and I’ve especially noticed how you have that creepy little smile on your face when you roll up in here with your hair all mussed and lipstick smudged. It would be disgusting if it wasn’t so fucking cute”.

He earns a punch on the shoulder for his teasing, to which he openly chuckles in the midst of his wincing. “It’s true”, he insists. “Look at my little cinnamon roll, all grown up and falling in love. How’s Luhan like as a person? I’ve seen him a couple of times and I must say that he’s pretty hot. Would date him in a heartbeat if he wasn’t so caught up with you”.

Biting my lip, I consider Sehun’s question very carefully. How is Luhan like as a person? A slideshow of memories I’ve shared with him for the past few years starts playing in my mind, lazily flicking from one moment to the next. In my mind’s eye, I zoom in on the memory of meeting him for the very first time. And that’s when it all started.

3 years ago

“So how does the client look like?” I ask Sehun, leaning against his desk with my chin propped in the palm of my hand.

My best friend turns his laptop screen in my direction, giving me a clearer view of the typed words on it. “This is his description”, Sehun explains, tapping the end of his pencil against the screen thoughtfully. “Surprisingly, he agreed to disclose a shitload of information about himself. Either he’s really generous and he’s just a narcissistic prick”.

That earns a slap at the back of his head from me, to which he sulkily pouts in response. “Don’t be so mean”, I chastise him. “More information is better than no information”.

“That’s true”, my best friend admits. “I want to fully know who this bastard is before I let my little cinnamon roll go wild with him. This is your first time, after all”.

I scoff. “I’m not a kid, Sehun. I can take care of myself”.

“That’s what they all say”, he mutters under his breath.

Ignoring his snide remark, I lean forward to squint at the screen for the neatly typed information, silently processing everything and tucking them in the deep recesses of my mind for future reference.

Client’s Name: Lu Han

Occupation: CEO of Lu Corporations

Amount willing to pay for (Y/N)(Y/L/N)’s services: $2000/session

Brief Description of Client:

Black hair                                         

Slim figure                       

Height of 1.78m/5’10’’

Once I’m done processing the information, I wrinkle my nose thoughtfully. “I like men with black hair”, I remark randomly, plucking a lollipop from the nearby sweet bowl and unwrapping it, popping it into my mouth as Sehun swats at me pettily.

“That’s all you noticed?” My best friend yelps incredulously. “Did you see the money he’s willing to offer you? Plus, he’s the fucking CEO of Lu Corporations. Jesus, (Y/N), you’ve hit the jackpot with this one and it’s only the first client. You’re off to a magnificent start, you cinnamon roll”.

I run the tip of my tongue over my lollipop absentmindedly, only half listening to what Sehun has to say. In my head, a million thoughts are racing through a mile per minute; anxious thoughts, nervous thoughts, excitement. However, instead of fretting over the more important stuff like the fact that I’m having sex with a stranger for the first time in my life, I’m worrying about the more irrelevant details, like if this Luhan chap has proper genital hygiene or if he smells bad. Having sex with an unknown man is bad enough but having sex with one who smells like he hasn’t bathed in a week makes the entire situation worse.

“(Y/N)? How are you feeling?” Sehun’s probing question draws me out of my wandering thoughts, forcing me to blink up at him blankly. An expression of concern lingers on his facial features, his hand closing over mine. “Nervous?” He adds lightly, although the severity of the word gives him away.

I pull the lollipop out of my mouth hesitantly, contemplating on how to respond. “Better sooner than later”, I eventually find myself saying. “I have to start somewhere, anyway”.

“Well, if anything goes wrong”, Sehun begins, producing a Swiss knife from the pocket of his skinny jeans and pressing it into the palm of my hand, “you know what to do”.

With a grin, I close my fingers around the tiny weapon and tuck it safely into my own pocket, planting a fleeting kiss on Sehun’s cheek. “This is why you’re my best friend”, I coo, before sliding off his desk and waving goodbye to him as I proceed to embark on my first appointment.

“Be careful!” My best friend yells after me, to which I respond with a dismissive wave and a playful grin before disappearing out of the double doors of the brothel, my backpack of condoms, sex toys and brand new lingerie slung over one shoulder.

Flicking a quick glance at my watch, the timing on it reads 6:45pm, which leaves me with exactly fifteen minutes to get to the destination I’d hastily scribbled on the back of my wrist when Sehun read it out to me earlier on.

Nerves start to bubble up in me as the time crawls by and as I finally arrive at the entranceway of the hotel where I’m supposed to meet Luhan at. Eventually, the minute hand on my watch flicks over to twelve, indicating that it’s exactly 7pm. And at the exact second, I hear a husky voice call my name from behind.

“(Y/N)?”

Upon turning around, I catch sight of the man who matches the exact description I read on Sehun’s computer screen. And the very man I’m going to be spending the next three years with.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I peer up at him bashfully. “Mr Lu?”

Present

Ever since Luhan set foot back into the building of Lu Corporations eight hours ago after waking up alone in an empty hotel room with an equally empty bed, the coldness in his heart hasn’t thawed. Even when he drowned himself in the mountains of paperwork, dealt with his stupid colleagues and their useless meetings, made countless number of phone calls to various drug dealers back in China and thrown his entire workaholic self into focusing entirely on business matters, he finds himself clinging onto the aftertaste of the sex he’d received the night before.

All he can think of is (Y/N). (Y/N) in her sexy lingerie. (Y/N) and her cat ears. (Y/N) and her little ‘dangerous woman’ obsession. (Y/N)’s uproarious laughter whenever he tells her a joke. Just (Y/N).

He can’t get enough of her, no matter how many appointments he books with her and no matter how many times he drops her a call for a night of fuck-fun. Ever since he roused from his slumber this morning and realized that she was already long gone with only the faint scent of flowery perfume lingering on the pillows, a seed of frustration had planted itself in Luhan’s chest and it’s been nothing but growing for the past many hours.

In all the years he’s been sleeping with her, he has never ever woken up feeling so unfulfilled and explicably horny. So with the image of her in his mind, he’d taken his half-erect cock in his own hand and started stroking himself feverishly to quell the developing heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. He’d jerked himself off until his hand cramped up, until his arm ached and until he’d cursed out one too many profanities in Mandarin before he gave up, falling back against the pillows and trembling with humiliation that he couldn’t even come on his own anymore.

Silently admitting defeat to himself, he’d forced himself out of bed, took a long shower and got ready to head down to Lu Corporations to begin another mundane day of work. And all day, throughout the workload and meetings and phone calls, his dick has been playing merry hell with him, growing hard one moment and falling flat the next.

Now, at nine in the evening, Luhan has given up on his attempts of jacking himself off in the privacy of his own office and proceeds to don on his suit jacket and abandon his paperwork, locking up the office and wandering down to the parking lot to get into his Lamborghini. Once he’s settled in the silent comfort of his luxurious car, that’s when the cold reality of loneliness starts to hit him right in the face and to his utter shame, a tidal wave of saltwater flood his eyes.

Bending over the steering wheel, he presses the heel of his hands against the tears, blotting them away and busying himself by starting the engine, listening miserably to it as it purrs to life. What the fuck is the point of having such a luxurious car when you have nobody to sit with you in the passenger seat? What is the point of having everything, the wealth and the power and the good looks when you have nobody to celebrate them with, to laugh at your atrocious jokes which nobody else seems to understand, to be there for you when the whole world isn’t?

Blinking away the tears, Luhan reverses out of the parking lot and presses his foot down on the accelerator, adrenalin bleeding through his veins as he whizzes in and out of the heavy traffic expertly, only one person on his mind. After spending three years of dropping by the brothel where (Y/N) lives in her own private bedroom on the top floor, he knows the routes by heart. It’s not very often that he drops by the sex shack, but on the occasions which he does, it’s usually to drop something off at the receptionist’s desk, which is normally one of (Y/N)’s belongings she left behind in his hotel room, such as her handphone or one of her weird sex toys.

Over the years, Luhan picked up on some interesting facts about his call-girl from Sehun the receptionist, who coincidentally happens to be her best friend. The drug lord learnt that the petite call-girl never got round to actually buying an apartment of her own, despite the thousands in her bank account. Sehun speculates that she sees the brothel as her real home, considering the fact that it’s the one place that provided her with a job in the first place. Plus, she managed to snag one of the bedrooms at the top floor, which is safe from the rest of the sexual activity occurring on the lower floors, so why not stay here and directly down the corridor from Sehun’s room himself?

Although Luhan has never actually visited (Y/N)’s bedroom, he’d always fantasized about doing so. Are her walls painted a deep sensual red? Or is she more of a pastel person? Does she sleep in her oldest PJs or does she keep her lingerie on in case she receives a late-night call?

Even Sehun, as her ‘bestest friend on this entire God-crafted earth’ as the receptionist proudly claimed to be, has no idea about (Y/N)’s bedroom life (in a non-sexual sense). Sure, she has clients who request to have a session with her in the privacy of her own room and she accepts them readily but other than that, Luhan has no clue about her normal day-to-day life.

So he’s on his way to find out.

Pulling up at the kerb outside the building of the brothel, the drug lord kills the engine and slips out of the car. Making his way through the double doors, he immediately spots Sehun behind the receptionist’s desk as usual, feet propped up on the tabletop lazily as he taps away on his laptop keyboard furiously.

Clearing his throat pointedly, Luhan observes as the receptionist frantically slams his laptop shut and lifts his head sheepishly, gazing up at the drug lord with a honey-like smile on his features. “Mr Lu!” The younger man gawps enthusiastically. “Didn’t expect to see you here tonight. How may I help you?”

“Is (Y/N) in now?” Luhan asks matter-of-factly. “I want to see her”.

Perhaps it’s the drug lord’s eyes playing tricks on him but he’s very certain that a gleeful smirk crosses Sehun’s features for a second before it disappears without a trace. “I’ll drop her a call. She’ll be down in a minute, not to worry”.

“No”. The drug lord deadpans, causing the young receptionist to freeze up in his swivel chair nervously. “I want to go up to her room. That is, if she doesn’t have any other clients to entertain tonight”. The icy authority in Luhan’s voice sends Sehun scrambling for the phone on the desk, bobbing his head obediently.

“Oh, wow. I mean, yes sir. Right away”, the receptionist gabbles, hitting a few buttons on the phone and sitting back in his chair as the dialling tone fills the air. In a matter of seconds, a familiar chirpy voice pipes out of the speaker.

“What’s up, secretary boy?” (Y/N) asks breezily.

“A client is here to see you”, Sehun explains, his questioning gaze flicking up at Luhan, who raises an eyebrow expectantly. “Is it alright if I send him up to your room now?”

“Send him right up”, the energetic call-girl responds. “Who is it, by the way?”

Sehun hesitates for a split second, before parting his lips to answer. “You’ll find out”.

“Seriously? Are you seriously playing a guessing game with me now? What if it’s Mr Kyungsoo? I’ll need to prepare some food because you know how freaky he gets with his food kink. Or Mr Junmyeon? You know how much he loves classy lingerie and Minseok tore my recent one last week while he was manhandling me-”

“I’m hanging up, cinnamon roll”, Sehun cuts (Y/N)’s rambling off abruptly, glancing up at an amused Luhan sheepishly. “Your client will be with you in a few”. With that, the line goes dead as the receptionist puts the phone down, emitting a low whistle as he does so.

Almost immediately, a smartly-dressed young man appears from around the corner, bowing to Luhan respectfully. “Kim Jongin at your service, Mr Lu. Please follow me”, the man instructs, offering up a sincere smile at the drug lord.

With that, Luhan trails after Jongin while Sehun calls out a cheery goodbye from his desk, to which the receptionist goes completely unnoticed. Jongin leads the drug lord down a carpeted hallway, sultry lighting filling the corridor classily and illuminating the atmosphere. Elevators come into view, pinging occasionally. As the two men await the arrival of the next lift, Luhan turns to the younger man with raised eyebrows. “Does every call-girl here have her own butler?” He asks flatly.

Jongin shakes his head, hands clasped in front of him. “Only the in-demand girls have butlers. (Y/N) is one of them”.

Luhan says nothing to this and to his utter surprise, a spark of possessive jealousy rises up in him. Irritably shaking it off, he steps into the elevator with Jongin on his heels, silently observing as the young butler jabs the button for the seventh floor.

Seven. Luhan’s favourite number.

The two men say no more to each other, Jongin keeping a respectable distance even as the elevator doors part and he leads the drug lord down another carpeted hallway to (Y/N)’s room at the very end of the corridor. Unlike the other floors on the lower levels, the corridor here is completely deserted and eerily quiet, the doors of the various rooms closed with no light shining out from beneath them.

“Who else lives on this floor?” Luhan finds himself questioning, unable to quell the rising curiosity in him.

“Besides (Y/N), only Sehun”, Jongin replies. “The other rooms are empty, reserved for any other call-girls who are lucky enough to earn as much as (Y/N) to pay the rent of these rooms. So far, nobody has been blessed with the gift of successful business like (Y/N) is”.

Not blessed, the drug lord thinks to himself grimly. She worked her ass off for this.

Soon, the two men are standing in front of the closed room door at the end of the hallway. Unlike the other rooms, there is light shining brightly from beneath the door of this one, the soft strains of ‘Dangerous Woman’ audible enough for Luhan to hear. A smile crosses the drug lord’s lips for a fleeting second as he fondly recalls the previous night of mind-blowing sex.

Jongin leans in to speak into the intercom. “(Y/N), a client is here to see you”.

The intercom crackles noisily, accompanied by (Y/N)’s upbeat chirp. “Thanks, Jeeves. Send him in”.

Jongin turns to Luhan expectantly, nodding at the door. “Enjoy your time, Mr Lu”.

“Thanks”, Luhan mutters dismissively, not even noticing as the butler drops to a bow and scurries down the corridor and back to the elevators. The drug lord takes a deep breath, then twists the door handle and pushes it open, stepping into unfamiliar territory. He is welcomed by a whoosh of perfume-scented air and pretty pastel pink walls, as well as the ravishing sight of (Y/N) seated on her bed with her legs crossed as she spoons ice-cream into her mouth enthusiastically, her attention fixated on the screen of the laptop in front of her.

She’s dressed in an oversized button-down shirt, the buttons undone to provide outsiders with a teasing glance of the lacy black lingerie she’s wearing underneath. Her dark hair is whipped back into a sloppy bun, her face free of her usual cake of makeup. And she looks absolutely beautiful.

She lifts her head, ready with a beaming smile. Then it fades away upon catching sight of Luhan himself lingering in the doorway, an expression of surprise replacing her cheery grin. With a tinge of pink dusting her cheeks, she places the bowl of ice-cream on the nearby side table and scrambles to her feet with a flustered air. “Mr Lu”, she stammers hurriedly, “I didn’t expect you to be here”.

Luhan quirks up a smile at her innocence, taking a step further into the room. “Why not?”

She drops her gaze to the carpeted floor sheepishly, nibbling on her lower lip anxiously and the drug lord would be lying to himself if he said that the seductive sight of her doesn’t send a rush of heat down to the area between his legs. “Well”, she begins hesitantly, “after last night, I didn’t expect you to be back so soon”.

The drug lord parts his lips to answer but she’s already rambling on, realization settling across her features. “Ah…” She murmurs with an air of understanding, gazing up at him with half-lidded eyes. “I didn’t satisfy you enough last night. My apologies, sir. I’ll make up for it tonight”.

Luhan’s eyes widen at the misunderstanding, watching numbly as she lowers herself down in front of him, her knees tucked beneath her as she sits back on her heels and stares up at him mournfully. Normally, the sight of a woman on her knees for him would give his ego a huge boost but this time, all he feels is sad and confused, unsure of why he’s feeling so conflicted suddenly.

“(Y/N)”, he commands, “stand up”.

She adheres to his order, although refusing to meet his eye and maintaining her submissive silence. And in that brief moment, Luhan feels a sharp pang in his heart for some foreign reason. “Look, don’t misunderstand”, he explains gently, staring at the side of her face a little too hard and trying to get her to look at him, which she stubbornly refuses to do so. “Last night was amazing. But I’m not here for another round”.

“You’re not?” She asks incredulously, although more to the floor rather than to him. Her lips pinch together tightly after that, her features contorting defensively. “Was I that bad last night?”

Laughter explodes from Luhan’s lips at her accusation and he reaches out to grab her shoulders kindly, pulling her close to plant a soft kiss on her forehead. She jerks her head up to stare at him with bewilderment, a blush dusting her fair cheeks prettily. “Far from bad”, the drug lord murmurs in response. “I…I’m just here for you instead. Can we talk?”

His words tumble out clumsily, nothing like the cool and composed way he rehearsed in his head on the way to the brothel earlier on. Somehow, he can feel himself crumbling to ash whenever he’s in front of (Y/N), nothing like the cold and cynical and confident businessman the world views him as.

(Y/N) freezes up at his words, an impassive mask falling over her pretty face as she instantly shuts herself off. “Mr Lu”, she says quietly, “with all due respect, I would have to turn down your request. I’m a call-girl, not a therapist”.

Luhan would be impressed by her unwavering attitude if he wasn’t so sore from her declination. “(Y/N), please-”

This time, she looks him right in the face with what looks like tears glistening in her eyes like tiny diamonds. “It goes against work ethics”, she whispers urgently, rapidly blinking away the saltwater from her eyes.

“I won’t tell”, Luhan whispers back. “Don’t cry, (Y/N). What’s wrong?”

“Nothing”. She presses the heel of her wrists against the tears, hastily wiping them away. “Please, Mr Lu. I can’t…I can’t talk to you right now. I’m sorry”.

“Luhan”, the drug lord corrects her sternly. “Just call me Luhan. No need for formalities right now”.

“You can’t just act all chummy after three years of sleeping with me”, she retorts, sniffling feverishly. “It doesn’t work that way. I’m not a friend you can run to whenever you need to talk. I’ll let you stay only if you want to have sex with me. I’m sorry, but that’s how it works”.

“(Y/N), I don’t want sex!” Luhan blows up abruptly, panic and desperation and frustration flooding through him like a tsunami. And once he starts, he can’t hold back anymore. “I didn’t come all the way here for sex. I came here because I…I missed you”.

His dramatic dialogue startles both of them, prompting (Y/N) to take a step back as she closes in within herself. “You don’t mean that”, she whispers frantically, more to herself rather than to him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about”.

“Oh, I fucking do”. Luhan is on a roll now, his own stubborn streak taking over his entire form. “You have no idea, kitten. I want you, even without the sex. I came all the way here for you, to spend time with you without the sex toys, without the handcuffs, without the dirty talking and without the kinks. And now that I’m here, you’re not going to fucking chase me out. I always get what I want, in case you haven’t noticed that for the past three years”.

“Oh, fucking hell. You’re impossible”, (Y/N) mutters to herself.

As if on cue, a faint meow fills the air and Luhan feels something soft and warm wrap itself around his shoe. Glancing down, he spots a ginger-brown cat kneading at the hem of his suit pants and purring contentedly as it does so, its little head nuzzling against his leg happily. “You have a cat?” The drug lord asks excitedly, squatting down to give the little animal a light scratch behind its ears, to which it mewls elatedly in response.

The earlier tension evaporates instantly as (Y/N) bends down to scoop the cat into her arms, giving its tummy a light tickle. “Yeah”, she admits. “He’s actually pretty ferocious when my other clients pay a visit and it doesn’t end prettily. They usually leave with ugly scratches and bites, and those scratches and bites are not from me”.

The cat hisses at the word ‘clients’ and buries its face against (Y/N)’s shoulder, its tail flicking back and forth, to which Luhan grins at. “Cats are my weakness”, the drug lord explains. “In fact, I have three of my own”.

That catches the call-girl’s attention and she gazes at him eagerly. “Really? Can I see them someday?”

“Of course. What’s your cat’s name?”

(Y/N)’s cheeks flush at the question and she averts her gaze immediately, coughing guiltily. “Uh…I named him ‘Lu’, after you”, she mumbles hastily, pretending to be preoccupied with stroking the cat’s head. It purrs happily at its name, headbutting the call-girl chin’s excitedly.

The drug lord lifts an eyebrow in amusement. “You named your cat after me? Why’s that?”

“That’s a story for another time”, she chirps, releasing her hold on Lu and allowing him to pad over to his basket at the other end of the room, curling up into a ball and dozing off into dreamland immediately. “But since Lu loves you”, she adds, “I’ll let you stay. Although I have no idea why you would want to in the first place, considering the fact that I’m the most boring person alive and my room is as messy as my life. Plus, I look like shit”.

Luhan rolls his eyes with a scoff. “Boring? You? No way. As for your room? I’d pick it over any hotel room any day”.

(Y/N) hums in response, not saying anything more as she scrambles to her feet and heads over to a little refrigerator positioned near Lu’s basket. Pulling it open, she rummages around for a while before producing an unopened bottle of red wine, brandishing it proudly. “Care to have a drink with me?” She requests sweetly.

There is no doubt about it; Luhan is down for anything this girl wants to do. Guess he can blame it on a stupid little thing called love.

I knew that letting Luhan stay for the night is going to be a huge, un-erasable mistake. When he first turned up at my door four hours ago, my first instinct was to send him straight out due to the fear of falling for him even more. As much as I tried to convince him that it was ‘against work ethics’ to treat a client like a friend, neither of us were convinced by my cock-and-bull story. I wanted him and no matter how sad and scared I was when I thought about my feelings not being reciprocated, I couldn’t bring myself to give a fuck the moment I saw how much my cat loves him too.

It may sound pretty dumb, but I trust Lu’s instincts a lot. In all the years clients have been dropping by to pay me a visit, he hisses and snarls at each and every one of them, even at Mr Junmyeon who made the effort to bring tinned cat food. So when I saw how Lu snuggled up to Luhan, I knew I couldn’t afford to let Luhan go.

So here we are, curled up in each other’s arms in my bed with wineglasses in our hands. And as far as my foggy head can comprehend, we’re both nearly gone. Not that I mind; in fact, I’m really enjoying myself in Luhan’s presence and company, and the relaxed, hazy state I’m in. The wine is starting to kick in, making me bolder and braver than I usually am, so I entwine myself around his torso daringly, kissing a path from his collarbone and up to the shell of his ear.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” I slur lazily, carding my fingers through his tousled hair. “Walking into my life and making me fall for you?”

Luhan turns his head a fraction, a glazed look in his eyes as he presses his lips against my temple. “I could say the same for you”, he whispers, trapping me in between his arms and hovering over me tauntingly. “Why are you torturing me like this, (Y/N)? Why can’t I have you all to myself?”

“Make me yours, then”, I mumble absentmindedly, slipping my arms around him and holding him close. “I want to belong somewhere. I want to belong to somebody”. The tears rush to me quickly, combined with the effects of the alcohol and I feel nothing but misery. “Oh god, Luhan. Make me yours, please. I’m so lonely, you have no idea”.

“I know, (Y/N)”, he coos gently, burying his nose in the crook of my neck. “I’m so lonely only for you. I see you around in all these empty faces and it fucking hurts. (Y/N), I-I think I’m in love with you”.

That’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I bolt upright, draw my hand back and slap him fresh across the face as hard as I can, trembling as the tears track down my face. Luhan touches the reddening skin of his cheek, mouth hanging open in shock as he stares at me with a perplexed expression on his face. Hurt glimmers in his eyes and as much as my heart aches for him, I don’t apologize.

“Don’t you dare lie to my face so blatantly”, I hiss venomously. “In love with me? Take your love and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine because I don’t fall for that shit. None of you love me. You’re all the same, fucking horny men who use me as a cock sleeve for all your fucking pleasure. The only thing you’re in love with is the way I suck you off. So don’t come at me with that fuckery because I don’t believe a word of it”.

With that, I snatch the wineglass from his grasp and shove him off the bed, my fury blinding me and causing me to see red. “Get out, Luhan”, I spit. “Get out, go home and jack off by yourself because I am sick and tired of pleasing all of you horny men”.

“(Y/N), wait!” Luhan protests, grabbing onto my arm to hold me down but I lash out instead, losing myself in a drunk haze.

“Fucking leave, Luhan!” I scream, yanking the door open and shoving him out of the room. He stumbles out, turning around to argue with me but I don’t give him the chance to. Without waiting for a response, I slam the door shut and make my way to the bed, burying my face in the pillows as I cry my eyes out to my heart’s content.

Guess I can blame it on a stupid little thing called love.