#I love both of these works but I hated writing litany of love and loss. does that make sense

[doctorweebmd]

both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally

[imaginespazzi]

Our Little Corner of Eternity

A little peek into what happens after they find eternity

(In which an angst writer realizes maybe she kind of enjoys writing fluff and this is the outcome)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff, fluff and more fluff

Words: 2.0K

TW: Explicit-ish sexual content (right at the beginning if you want to skip like 10 line dents to avoid it)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 We're gonna keep doing these here because I think it works better. Anyways, I know I said I'd give y'all part 1 of the UCLA fic as "pick me up" and I tried so hard to finish it last night but everything I wrote was just so meh and I kinda need that series to be exactly what I want it to be. So instead y'all get an actual "pick me up" in the form of a Here's To Eternity epilogue/Valentine's day (week?) fic with fluffy happiness and cute little kids. Can y'all believe I chose to write fluff instead of angst? Like who am I? Anyways I wrote this all last night and so the editing exists but is *minimal* and so absolutely tell me any mistakes. One day I'll stop doing long author's notes I swear. Anyways (take a shot every time I say that), I hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully y'all get part 1 soon too! <3

***

“Happy Valentine’s day baby,” a voice whispers into Paige’s ears, followed by a litany of kisses being peppered onto her skin, starting at her cheeks and then to her neck. She smiles, eyes still closed, relishing the feeling of getting a rare quiet morning in her wife’s arms. Her hands come up to hold Azzi’s hips as she straddles her thighs. A low whine escapes her lips, when the younger woman bites against her shoulder, hands moving to caress Paige’s exposed stomach, fingers dancing experimentally against the waistband of boxers. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Paige warns; she doesn’t mean it one bit. 

“Who said I couldn’t finish it?” her wife retorts snarkily and Paige can hear the smirk in her voice, “when have I ever left you unfinished.”

Azzi continues to tease, sucking marks into Paige necks, her hands creeping into Paige boxers, hovering but not touching. Anticipation burns in her core as Paige thrusts against the brunette’s still fingers, trying to create the friction she’s desperately craving. 

“So wet for me already,” Azzi whispers, nibbling at Paige’s earlobe “but you have to ask for what you want sweetheart.”

She brushes her fingers lightly against the exact spot she knows Paige wants them, feather light and not anywhere near as hard or fast as the blonde needs it and is rewarded with a breathy moan. 

“Words baby, words,” Azzi presses her fingers a little harder as she places a kiss on the edge of Paige’s lips. She moves away immediately when the older woman tries to pull her into an actual kiss, giggling when Paige pouts, “morning breath.” 

“I hate you,” the blond breathes out, still not opening her eyes

“Do you now?” Azzi teases, finally swirling a finger inside, arching it just right and the sound Paige lets out is practically pornographic. 

She’s about to give in and beg like she knows Azzi has been waiting for her to do when a loud knock on the door throws any chance of morning sex out the window. 

“Mommy? Mama?” a small voice calls out. It’s almost offending the speed with which Azzi climbs off of her, immediately rushing into their ensuite bathroom to clean off her fingers. Paige groans at the loss of contact, eyes finally opening. 

“Maybe if we don’t say anything they’ll leave,” she says petulantly. 

“MOMMY? MAMA?” there’s two voices now, both screaming at the top of their lungs. 

“We’re sleeping,” Paige yells back but she can’t help the fond smile that appears on her face. 

“I swear I have three children,” Azzi mutters under her breath, as she reappears from the bathroom, shooting Paige a disapproving glance. Her wife raises her hands in mock surrender as she finally sits up. Shaking her head at Paige’s smirk, Azzi opens the door to reveal the two tiny little humans that she’s still a little shocked to say are her children. 

“Mommy,” the two of them squeal, grabby hands wrapping around Azzi’s knees and she can’t help but laught. She’s loved a lot of people in her life, her parents, her brothers, Paige but the love she feels for her twins, it’s a whole other level. She'd die for them in a heartbeat and if necessary, she’d kill the whole world for them. 

Paige’s heart swells as she watches Azzi fall to her knees and wrap their twins in a bear hug, pressing kisses that elicit happy giggles all over their chubby cheeks. She’s been lucky enough to earn plenty of accolades and awards but the three people tangled in a mess of limbs on her bedroom floor, this is her greatest gift.

“Guess you’ve all forgotten me,” Paige pouts, from where she’s still sprawled in the bed. That’s all it takes for the two children to catapult onto the bed, both of them jumping on top of Paige, their combined weight causing her to fall back down and laughter echoes through the bedroom. 

“We could never forget you Mama,” Sienna says diligently and she has a lisp from her first tooth falling out. Miles doesn’t say anything, simply burrowing his head further into Paige’s neck but she can feel him smiling against her skin. 

“Because I’m your favourite right?” Paige asks, voice very serious and it earns her an eye roll from Azzi. 

“Silly Mama,” Sienna shakes her head, tiny hands framing her mother’s face, “you can’t have a favourite mom.”

Azzi ruffles her daughter’s hair, coming to sit beside the three of them, “you’re so smart Si.”

“And me Mommy?” Miles peeks out from Paige’s neck, looking expectantly at his other mother. 

“You too Mi,” Azzi assures fondly. 

It’s funny how the couple of minutes of age difference between the twins shows so clearly sometimes. Sienna, the older one, always acts just a little bit wiser. Paige’s mom says she’s five going on fifty. And Miles is still a baby, one hand always attached to one of his mother’s as he watches his sister run wild. They couldn’t be more opposite. They couldn’t be more like a little part of Paige and Azzi. 

“We have a gift for you Mama,” Sienna says proudly jutting out her chest. Out of the corner of her eye, Paige can see Azzi grinning and her curiosity keens. 

“For me?” Paige pulls herself up, bringing her son who’s still clinging to her neck up with her, “what for darling?”

This time it’s Miles who replies matter-of-factly, “because it’s Valentine’s day Mama. And we love you.”

It shouldn’t affect her this much anymore, her son telling her he loves her. Miles has said it to her plenty of times at this point but each time he does, Paige feels her heart burst open in happiness. 

“Well, where is it?” she asks, pretending to search for it under Miles’s shirt and then behind Sienna’s ear. It earns her a shriek of laughter and to top it off, a radiant smile from her wife. 

“Go get it Si,” Azzi urges and obediently Sienna does as she’s told. 

“You know what it is?” Paige asks, raising her eyebrows. All she gets is a conspiratorial wink. 

“It’s a surprise Mama, Mommy can’t tell you,” Miles warns and Azzi immediately puts a hand to her lips and nods. 

It doesn’t take long for Sienna to come skipping back in. In her hands is a neatly wrapped box with a bow in it. It’s relatively small and Paige truly has no idea what it could potentially be but she knows she’ll love it no matter what. 

Sienna bounces back onto the bed, the spring of it all almost causing her to tumble backwards but Azzi’s instincts are far too sharpened to let that happen. She protectively pulls her daughter onto her lap, pressing a kiss against her temple. Of course they don’t have favourites but still it’s not hard to see how Sienna gravitates a little towards Azzi and Miles gravitates towards Paige. Azzi theorises it's probably because Miles is a little more like her and Sienna’s a little more like Paige. 

“Alright,” Paige says excitedly, as Sienna carefully hands her the present, “let’s see what this is.”

Two pairs of big doey bright eyes watch with bated breath as their mother carefully unwraps their present. The wrapping paper falls away to reveal a box covered in pictures of their family. There's pictures of her and Azzi, and pictures of them with the twins. Paige lets out a soft sob, as she realises by the slight messiness of it all that Miles and Sienna were clearly the ones to glue them onto the box. The little bits of glitter and stickers peeking out against the photographs gives it away. 

“You guys,” she whispers, “this is beautiful. I love it. Thank you.”

“You have to open it,” Sienna replies excitedly and Paige does as she’s told. She flips the lid open and gasps, eyes immediately darting towards Azzi. Her wife’s eyes are already moist as she smiles back softly. 

In the box is a set of four rings. Two large ones and two tiny ones. Not just any rings. Perfect replicas of that stupid ugly beautiful pink ring that Azzi had won at the pop-a-shot back when they were fifteen. And when she looks at them closer, Paige realises, her heart catching in her throat, that one of them isn’t a replica. It’s slightly rusted around the edges and Paige knows immediately that it’s the first ring she’d ever placed on Azzi’s fingers. 

“Baby,” she breathes, looking up at Azzi at a loss for what to say. A thousand and one memories are swirling in her head, all captioned with the thought of how did I get so lucky. 

“There’s four Mama,” Miles interrupts before Paige can say anything, “one for you, one for Mommy, one for Si and one for me!”

Paige lets out a tearful laugh at her son’s excitement as he points at each of them one by one, “I can see that Mi.”

“You have to put them on us,” Sienna tells her before thrusting her tiny hand out, “and then we’re gonna be connected for life.”

“We’re already connected for life you goof,” Paige says, as she slides one of the rings onto Sienna’s finger and then presses a kiss onto the younger girl’s palms. She turns to Miles and repeats the same actions. 

“Me first,” Azzi says when Paige turns to her, “you got to do it first when we got married.”

“It’s not a competition Az.”

“Says you,” Azzi smirks, before she grabs Paige’s hand and places the ring on her left hand, right above her actual wedding ring, “perfect.”

“You’re so cheesy. I can’t believe you kept it,” Paige says, her eyes shining as she slides the old ring onto Azzi’s ring finger. 

“It’s my engagement ring. Of course I kept it,” Azzi says with such sincerity, that Paige can’t help but lean over and kiss her. 

A chorus of “ew” breaks them apart and they’re met with two children and their crinkled noses. 

“Hmm what have I said about interrupting Mama and Mommy?” Paige asks sternly. 

“Not to do it,” the twins recite in unison. 

Paige turns to Azzi with a knowing smile, “do you think they’ve learned that Az?”

“You know what babe, I don’t think they have.”

“And what happens to children who don’t learn their lessons?” this time they both look at their children with matching grins. 

“They get TICKLED,” Paige and Azzi yell in unison. Miles and Sienna squeal with laughter as their mothers flip them onto the bed, poking at their stomachs. And it’s unclear whose hand is whose and whose legs are whose as the four of them become a pile of bodies, all of them meshing into one. 

“Okay, okay I think,” Azzi’s the first one to recover as always, “we should have pancakes for breakfast.”

“In heart shapes!” the twins squeal in unison. 

“Of course. How about the two of you go and brush your teeth and Mama and I will be down in a second okay?”

Miles and Sienna nod before jumping out of bed at their mother’s command. They sing some ridiculously out-of-tune song about pancakes as they skip out of the room. Immediately, Paige pulls Azzi back into her, slotting their legs together.

“You still owe me an orgasm.”

Azzi smiles, pressing her lips to Paige’s and then pulling away far too quickly, “I’ll give you plenty tonight. But you better match each one wifey.”

“You know I will,” Paige smirks, bringing her wife in for one last kiss before they both get up, ready for a not-so-quiet morning with their kind. 

Valentine’s day used to be different. Sometimes they never got out of bed. Sometimes they spent the day in another country. Sometimes they went on extravagant dates that felt straight out of a movie. Now, well, they’ll make pancakes with their kids and then probably watch some terrible children’s show that they’ve both, unfortunately, memorized the dialogues of. And in between, they’ll probably fall asleep on the couch and wake up to little guilty faces informing them about a spilled drink or a broken object. But it’s perfect really. As long as it’s the four of them and their little corner of eternity.

[tillidontneedfantasy]

'Norman Fucking Rockwell!' - Lana Del Rey REVIEW: Beautiful, Insane, and American-Made

"L.A. is in flames, it's getting hot / Kanye West is blond and gone / 'Life on Mars' ain't just a song," is how Lana Del Rey describes the most devastating losses of our time; climate change and Kanye West becoming an "enlightened" Trump (and Christ) supporter. An astute appraisal. Despite the fact that the world through Lana's (and many others) eyes may be deteriorating, she continues to enrich her own world of music. Her sixth studio effort, Norman Fucking Rockwell!, is her most critically acclaimed album to date, topping many, if not all, end of the year lists. Even on this decaying land, we are always changing and adapting and evolving (or in some cases, devolving). Lana Del Rey has evolved splendidly over this decade, and has become one of the most notable sources of inspiration for young female artists.  Norman Fucking Rockwell! is filled with much more source material, particularly for singer-songwriters, as the songs bleed into another and tell the tale of a woman trying to find a love that is secure and safe, something many of us wish for and all of us deserve. At this point, Lana is tired of holding it all in, as seen on the admission "Fuck it I love you." Considering Lana's authenticity has been questioned throughout much of her career, this unabashed honesty is what makes Norman Fucking Rockwell! such a feat.

BEST TRACK: "Norman fucking Rockwell"

A brutal yet beautiful love song to her imperfect, immature muse, "Norman fucking Rockwell" sets the stage for a dreamy, bittersweet love letter of an album. She describes her lover as a 6"2 man-child who blames the news for his shitty poetry. Likening him to Norman (fucking) Rockwell himself, he colors her blue, seemingly exasperated by her as well. Not uncommon among the artistic community, he seems to be a narcissist, as Lana sings, "You talk to the walls when the party gets bored of you." Yet, despite her litany of complaints, she wants no one but him, as she declares, "Why wait for the best when I could have you?" Maybe because the best objectively doesn't exist; we all have flaws, and if you can love someone despite them, and vice versa, then it doesn't get better than that.

WEAKEST TRACK: "Bartender"

Sonically, "Bartender" is plucky and enjoyable, but overall, the track is easily dispensable to the album. She speaks of trucks and a variety of beverage choices and her love for her bartender, and if I didn't know any better and just read the lyrics I would assume it was a country song; honestly, it would have done both her and the country music community best to sell it to some country singer and profit off of the royalties.

THE IN-BETWEENS

One of the strongest aspects of this album is its gorgeous production, most notably on the haunting "Cinnamon Girl," a track that explores Lana's history of fraught relationships, stating to her muse "if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did." She continues this theme of searching for the person who will not keep her at arms length, but rather pull her into them forever, on "How to disappear," a breathtaking track with some of Lana's most compelling vocal work of the album. Although pleasing to the ears, some songs feel inconsequential, such as "California" and "The Next Best American Record."  At times, the album might seem to drag, as it does on "Venice Bitch," a nine and a half minute beautiful song that loses its magic after about five. Lana still injects her staple morbidity in the touching "Happiness is a butterfly," when she casually states, "if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?" which is quite an alarming thing to say, yet somehow makes sense, and so is the brilliance of her lyricism.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: "Love song"

One of the most tender tracks on the record, "Love song" has mass appeal, to the cynical and the hopeless romantics. "I'd just die to make you proud" she proclaims, and wouldn't we all for the one we love? Much more eloquent and poignant than Ed Sheeran ever could, the song illustrates the typical picture of romance, head upon a chest, together in the backseat of a car, using stars as a metaphor for the self...but then it asks the very question at the core of love: "Is it safe to just be who we are?" I hope both of their answers were yes.

****

Ultimately, the album's overall theme is a pendulum between love and loneliness, yet finally stops swinging at the closing track, "hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it." This track encapsulates Lana's current emotional state at this point in her life, most particularly in the final lines of the song:

"They write that I'm happy, they know that I'm not But at best, you can see I'm not sad But hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have But I have it Yeah, I have it Yeah, I have it I have"

The meaning of "hope" here can be interpreted in many ways. Maybe hope is dangerous for the person hoping, because it could set up expectations that will never get met. Or maybe it's dangerous for everyone else, because the person who yields hope can have unimaginable power. I believe to look at it as the latter. We live in a society where so many people are tearing each other down in an attempt to make them feel hopeless and helpless. But rebellions and revolutions are built on hope. The road to recovery from mental illness is paved by hope. If you have hope, you can do anything. And Lana has it. Watch out. Grade: 4/5

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER'S BIAS: I have never been a fan of Lana or particularly interested in her music- I particularly hated "Summertime Sadness" no matter how often it was in my head. This album got such rave reviews, and I love Jack Antonoff, her main collaborator on the album, so I knew I had to listen. I definitely enjoy a handful of songs but overall her music still does not resonate with me as much as I’d hope. However, I can still acknowledge that it is objectively good, and I did absolutely love the production. I respect her uniqueness and her as an artist very much. Maybe one day everything will click for me- we just haven’t gotten there yet.

[yabookers]

Proud by Various Authors

A stirring, bold and moving anthology of stories and poetry by top LGBTQ+ YA authors and new talent, giving their unique responses to the broad theme of pride. Each story has an illustration by an artist identifying as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Compiled by Juno Dawson, author of THIS BOOK IS GAY and CLEAN. A celebration of LGBTQ+ talent, PROUD is a thought-provoking, funny, emotional read. Contributors: Steve Antony, Dean Atta, Kate Alizadeh, Fox Benwell, Alex Bertie, Caroline Bird, Fatti Burke, Tanya Byrne, Moïra Fowley-Doyle, Frank Duffy, Simon James Green, Leo Greenfield, Saffa Khan, Karen Lawler, David Levithan, Priyanka Meenakshi, Alice Oseman, Michael Lee Richardson, David Roberts, Cynthia So, Kay Staples, Jessica Vallance, Kristen Van Dam and Kameron White.

Disclaimer: I received a copy free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Two years ago I read a brilliant anthology called A Change is Gonna Come, published by Stripes Publishing and I adored it – it shone a spotlight on some much-needed voices and stories in UKYA. Proud does the same thing as it is full of stories from LGBTQIAP+ authors that fill a void in UKYA (don’t get me wrong, there is some great queer UKYA, but we need so much more!) This anthology is full of so many exquisite stories (and some great illustrations), some fun and loud, but some are tender and quiet. Stories filled with happiness, sadness, grief, romance, triumph, love, and loss. Stories filled with self-acceptance and self-love but also filled to the brim with stories of queer teens surrounded by love. It isn’t a perfect anthology, for example, there were no aro-ace stories BUT it hopefully paves the way for more queer stories in mainstream UKYA. ‘We, as LGBTQ+ authors, know how important it is to see ourselves in stories. If we live inUntitled stories, it means we live in the real world too. We are claiming our space, claiming our oxygen. Since the dawn of time, we have been told in a litany of ways that we are ‘less-than’, ‘out of the ordinary’, ‘abnormal’, ‘subnormal’, or plain ‘different’. We are none of those things. We are gloriously ourselves, and we show the world our glory during Pride. That is why Pride is both party and protest. It’s noisy, it’s colourful, it’s glittery and it’s very, very visible. It’s a statement to the whole wide world that we are here; we celebrate our varied and diverse culture; our history; our struggles.’ - Juno Dawson Proud has 12 different stories from 12 different authors. Stories featuring transgender characters, gay characters, bi characters, lesbian characters, non-binary characters, and it is just so very queer. The problem I have with anthologies sometimes is that some stories are great, and some are just meh. But Proud consistently wowed me with each story (apart from maybe one or two), and it has so many great new voices that I will definitely be keeping an eye on. I’m now going to write a little bit about each story: Dive Bar by Caroline Bird – I’m not going to rate this one because I just didn’t get it. Sometimes I love poetry, and sometimes, I really struggle with it. A definite, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ type of thing. Penguins by Simon James Green – 4/5 – I really enjoyed Penguins. It was such a cute, funny, and heartwarming story about the struggles of coming out – of finding the right time. At times, this story was downright hilarious and at other times, it was super cute and heartwarming. Also features an m/m romance. On the Run by Kay Staples – 5/5 – I really enjoyed this one. A quiet, warm, and tender story about two teens who have won the lottery and have run away from home, one escaping an abusive family and one following the guy they love. It has working-class characters, a non-binary teen, and a lovely nb/m romance. The Phoenix Fault by Cynthia So – 4/5 – a lovely little fantasy story about two girls realising they love each other. As the Philadelphia Queer Youth Choir Sings Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’… by David Levithan – Also, not my cup of tea, I just wasn’t really a fan of the narrative style! Almost Certain by Tanya Bryne – 5/5- I really resonated with this one, it is a sad and tender story about anxiety and grief and art. A lovely little f/f romance and I really loved how anxiety was described in this. The Other Team by Michael Lee Richardson – 4/5 – a really good story about a trans boy and the discrimination and misgendering he faces, but also about the support and love he receives from his football team. I Hate Darcy Pemberley by Karen Lawler – 5/5 – literally, give me all the enemies-to-lovers f/f romances. It’s an f/f Pride and Prejudice retelling, it was funny, entertaining, and heartwarming. I also really loved the little illustration at the end by Kameron White. The Courage of Dragons by Fox Benwell – 5/5 – I loved this geeky story about a non-binary teen and their friends (also their d&d group!) going on a quest to make their school gender neutral. The Instructor by Jess Vallance – 5/5 – This was a lovely, vibrant, funny, and heartwarming story about a girl who learns to drive in order to impress her crush. Love Poems to the City by Moïra Fowley-Doyle – 5/5 – I adored this one. A beautiful story about a bisexual girl in Ireland fighting for marriage equality. Also has an f/f romance! How to Come Out as Gay by Dean Atta – 5/5 – just a simply supportive and beautiful poem about coming out. Overall, Proud is an emotional, empowering, powerful, and important anthology full of vibrant voices that need to be on everyone’s bookshelves.

Rating: ★★★★★ | book depository

[movieswithkevin27]

The Big Chill

The Big Chill dates itself considerably with a selection of 1960s and 1970s musical selections that would likely find a home on a nostalgic "classic rock hits" radio station nowadays. Yet, despite the film firmly planting its feet in the early 1980s and reliving the college experiences of a group of friends during the late 1960s/early 1970s, The Big Chill is a film that is hardly dated thematically. Musing on the profound sense of loss felt by this friend group after the suicide of one of the members of the group, the film is often casually funny, profound, and poignant. With the group looking at their lives as they are now in contrast to their dreams for the future and expectation of changing the world they had when younger, the film is quiet, contemplative, and entirely solemn experience that truly captures real human emotion and feeling throughout, a rare and impressive accomplishment.

With this group of friends coming together to mourn Alex's death, it becomes abundantly clear that none of them are happy in their current lives. Though Alex killed himself, he was oddly the only one trying to seek happiness. He failed, but refused to stay restricted by his skill-set. A gifted scientist, he instead worked as a social worker and on construction jobs, seeking ways to experience life in any way possible and refusing to just stay in his line. The refusal of his friend group of to explore has rendered them greatly unhappy. Sam Weber (Tom Berenger) is a famous actor, but hates the phonies in Hollywood and the fame that comes with his profession. Karen (JoBeth Williams) hates her normal, average life and the husband that gives it to her. Michael (Jeff Goldblum) views himself as a serious writer so he hates his People Magazine gig. Meg (Mary Kay Place) hates being a public defender and her status as a single woman. Nick (William Hurt) has impotence and possibly PTSD from Vietnam. Harold (Kevin Kline) and Sarah (Glenn Close) seem happy, but similarly feel unfulfilled as if something is missing in their otherwise "successful" lives. Of this group, nobody is happy.

Yet, their struggles are ones felt by anybody. Growing up, you envision the grandiose life awaiting you. Kids rush to drive, go to college, move out, get married, and have children, all as a means to find adulthood. These all serve as road signs that you are getting closer. At the end of this tunnel is the mythical comfort land of "success". How one defines "success" is up to them, but unfortunately, is always a moving target. No matter one's present situation, it is impossible to view it as the end of your tunnel. If the situation you are in is the very pinnacle of where you life will be, then that is an even more depressing point of view to take. As a result, few ever actually achieve "success", instead moving from life achievement marker to life achievement marker, seeking the end of the tunnel and becoming unhappy and unfulfilled when that opening is never found. From this unhappiness, boredom, and contentment, depression or adultery or regrets can begin to take hold. In essence: I did everything I was told to do and I did it well, so why is there not "more"? Unfortunately, life is a moving target. There is no set date or event that will define your life as being successful. Instead, it is the sum of all actions you took in your life that define you in the end and in the now with each moment adding up to the end product. Expecting your life to be final and totaled up in any moment prior to your death is a phenomenon experienced by many, but unfortunately not realistic.

It is for this thematic rumination that The Big Chill really becomes a timeless work from director Lawrence Kasdan. Quietly considering the idea that one's life is never really complete and that the feeling that something is missing is a natural one, The Big Chill is a film that benefits from never showing Alex. Originally casting Kevin Costner, but cutting out all of his scenes, the film's themes and ideas would feel cheapened by including Alex and his suicide. Plus, it would leave nothing to chance. Perhaps Alex was depressed, yes. Perhaps it was because he slipped away from the group. However, it is also just as likely that Alex was suffering from the feeling that something was missing, with his various career paths representing his attempts to fill that empty part of himself. With everybody coming together to mourn Alex, it is a nice touch to leave Alex out of the film and let the living try and figure out how they can avoid becoming Alex, as all of them demonstrate the same level of dissatisfaction and emptiness that Alex felt in his post-graduate life.

However, the film is held back by some odd plot elements. Desperate for a child, Meg laments how Harold is married only for Sarah to loan out her husband to Meg for the night to make a baby. Huh? There just has to be a better way to approach this issue for Meg that does not demand having your husband impregnate her. This is just one such example, but the film's constant indulgence in these odd and quirky occurrences often serve to undermine the film's deeply serious topic. Additionally, scenes of the group dancing around to some song are nice and show a different side of this gang of doom and gloom, but nonetheless feels a bit out of place. Repeated shots of Glenn Close's butt and then her sitting naked in the shower feel similarly out-of-place and uncomfortable uses of the male gaze in the film, furthering taking the viewer out of the experience. While there is a lot to love about Lawrence Kasdan's tight and smartly written real-life comedy-drama, there is still some bloat and odd indulgences that never really land quite smoothly. Along with general slow pacing, The Big Chill's ending is one that is merciful and the right decision as it is a film that ends before it really begins to overstay its welcome, allowing it to still be a good and strong work that knows when it is time to conclude.

An occasionally funny, but always smart and hard-hitting drama, The Big Chill is a solemn film about life and loss. Cracking jokes to push away the pain of losing someone, lightly reminiscing on better times, and wondering how something like this could happen, are all staples of loss and included in The Big Chill. Constantly ringing true in both the drama and in the comedy, the film is a smartly written and down-to-earth film that makes great use of its ensemble cast. Never leaving anybody out and developing each character just enough to give us a taste and make us feel as though we know them, the film's well-rounded characters and writing greatly benefit the final product. Smart introductions of comedy - especially from Jeff Goldblum's character - are always wisely placed and hit their targets. However, despite the litany of positives, The Big Chill's descent into a truly odd "forbidden pleasure" type of film in the final 20 minutes is an unfortunate turn that feels wholly unnecessary. Fortunately, the proceeding hour-plus of content is so strong, the film remains a truly resonant and impressive realization of emotion, emptiness, and the role played by life achievements in one's entire life. Solemn, quiet, and contemplative, The Big Chill may not be a masterpiece of cinema, but is a masterpiece in realizing the true essence of human emotion and feeling.