#we are honestly always our own worst enemies

[doctorweebmd]

both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally

[hendolish]

England NT Fic Recs ♡

never know where to start for a pairing or you're new to england nt rpf? here's a shameless collection of my favourite fics to give you a head start 🫶🏻 ———

Jack Grealish/Jordan Henderson

melt by inlovewithnight (8k)

soulmate au where you feel everything your soulmate does and can't bear being too far away from each other. they're just so at ease and in love with each other in this. probably my favourite hendolish fic! <3

About as subtle as an earthquake, I know by Lizz_88 (Bluejay00) (68k)

jack's a stripper, jordan's himself. so much more than what it says on the tin! all the characters are super complex and it takes a lot of work for these two to get together (with no shortage of lap dances and smut along the way) <3

Calm Before The Storm by preachingdoll (6k)

post-euro 2020 heartbreak jack needs a bit of help coping. jordan's there to offer a helping hand... the smut and dirty talk is 10/10

best worst behaviour by Bellelaide (25k)

kind of a hendolish classic, jordan puts bratty jack in his place.

♡

John Stones/Jordan Pickford

Sun City AU by Bellelaide (series, 40k)

honestly one of my favourite fics ever, let alone footie-wise. jordan's on a very british all-inclusive holiday at a hotel where john works. the vibes are just immaculate, you can visualise everything so clearly and there's so much depth to their characters!

Ice Melts by Bellelaide (7k)

enemies to lovers kinda? john doesn't think much of jordan before the 2018 wc but the further they get in the tournament, the closer they become. amazing characterisation and banter as always.

Helping Hand by slatkomore (14k)

with john's career ended abruptly by an injury, he turns to coaching instead and soon becomes the england u19s manager where he meets the goalkeeper coach, jordan pickford...

your world cup or mine? by Bellelaide (15k)

john goes to sleep at the 2022 wc and wakes up back in 2018 where he and jordan aren't together and barely friends. such an interesting concept and dynamic!

♡

Jack Grealish/John Stones

The Things We Did and Didn't Do by InTheFicOfIt (series, 104k)

john and jack sleep together in the aftermath of the euros, the following fic explores everything that comes after, including jack moving to man city and their friends finding out. i'm never usually tempted by this pairing but this fic is so damn good! it's written so wonderfully and there's so much of it- i couldn't put it down!

♡

Ben white/Aaron Ramsdale

happy together by foxholecourts (1k)

this fic perfectly encapsulates their vibe for me. the back and forth between the two of them is just delightful and exactly how i imagine them to be together, but it's also as equally sappy! i love these two idiots sm <3

watching you watching me by foxholecourts (2k)

ben likes to be watched... 10/10 benaaron characterisation from this author as always.

sweettalker by Anonymous (5k)

smut with a lot of dirty talk about the other arsenal lads. ben is very complex in this- an interesting take on their relationship!

I’m Not In Love by ceraunophilex (1k)

aaron falls in love immediately, ben slowly warms to him. short and sweet.

♡

Jordan Henderson/Trent Alexander-Arnold

Shake Me Into the Night by orphan_account (17k)

always hits me right in the feels. based around liverpool winning the champions league, the writing is so detailed and amazing!!

♡

Jude Bellingham/Reece James

the sun and the rainfall by ohsusie (series, 6k)

jude asks reece about some of the rumours surrounding him to help him broach a sensitive topic of his own. reece gives him some guidence. they're so sweet in this!

♡

Dele Alli/Eric Dier

In This World Of Ours by dierdele (53k)

the classic deledier best friends to lovers 2018 world cup get-together fic. you can't beat it, literally so cute oml.

♡

Marcus Rashford/Jesse Lingard

both your hands in the holes of my sweater by yvenger (jjjat3am) (3k)

this one is so much fun hehe, the ~2018 man u squad if they were a sunday league team where jesse's very confident and marcus has a huge crush on him. love the inner dialogue so, so much. ending is super cute!!

i can feel that body shake by princessrosberg (3k)

an england nt night out leads to them getting together and their first time! jesse and marcus characterisations are on point, esp the way they talk to each other <3

♡

Harry Kane/Gareth Southgate

All Good Things... by orphan_account (12k)

their established relationship is so cute in this! post-2018 wc and preparing for the euros, england team banter is perfect.

wished by orphan_account (23k)

gareth is harry's p.e teacher at school. listen… no comment... there's a reason it's the most kudos-ed southkane fic

♡

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Reddit AITA Tag Game!

Thanks for the tags, @willtheweaver (here), @wyked-ao3 (here) and @the-golden-comet (here)!

So let's go with Deimos Soll from Supernova Initiative!

Deimos Soll

AITA for setting up my siblings and their crew for capture bu our worst enemy in exchange for safety against the warlord hunting me down?

Hi. So, I have been struggling with this for a while, and honestly wasn't sure if I should technically post this but since I've got few people I can vent this to, so I might as well give this a shot.

So, for context, I (26 M), did NOT want to betray my adoptive siblings. It was always us against the world growing up and we have always been all each other has had - well, at least until we had The Big Argument a few years ago and went our separate ways.

It all started to go downhill after that day, now that I'm thinking about it. After I left Jack and Cassie behind to pursue a solo career as a sniper, I ended up joining a Khosmonian war faction - I was very much an idealistic youth who knew little of the world of warfare at the time, but I believed that, by joining the Junction's greatest enemy in the civil war, I would have a chance to fight back against the government that destroyed my life in the past.

I was mistaken. Very much so.

It turns out that, for all the propaganda, the government in the Khosmonian galaxies - and especially the military branch I had joined - was just as corrupt as the Junction. I was quickly disillusioned and planned to desert that cause and go back to my siblings to make amends.

And I didn't even get that chance. I had packed my things and was ready to leave, but the warlord that commanded the faction I had misguidedly tied myself to - a monstrous woman named Eldora Thalax - wasn't about to let me go so easily. Apparently I was her finest sniper, and she didn't want to lose that asset.

Before I knew it, she had her soldiers capture me and bring me to her - she made me a final offer, saying she might forgive my 'treason' if I continued to work for her. I said no, and told her I was going to leave once and for all. She... didn't like that.

Eldora decided that, if I wasn't going to comply willingly, she'd make me do so by force - and so the nightmare began. I was locked in a freezing cell, and every day I was brutally tortured and experimented on - it didn't take long for me to realize what she was doing. Her plan was to break my mind and brainwash me into a living weapon.

I spent 3 years trapped in that living hell, barely holding onto my identity and sanity, until finally - on one extremely lucky day - I managed to escape and steal a spaceship to take me back to my galaxy. But Eldora wasn't going to stop hunting me down: 1. she didn't want to let others think she would simply let a prisoner get away from her, and wanted to make me an example, 2. she still planned to recapture me and brainwash me into her obedient soldier. Even as I went back to the galaxy I hailed from, I spent countless days trying desperately to avoid the assassins and agents she'd sent after me, barely getting a moment to even think.

I was at the end of my rope when I made the decision to seek the Junction's government for help - they'd always been my worst enemies, people I despised more than anything and who had destroyed my life and that of countless others over and over again. But I couldn't take it anymore, living on the run with the ever-looming danger of being caught again. Which I knew would happen sooner or later if I was on my own. I turned myself in and made a deal with one of the most influential Junction politicians, the Director, to get protection against Eldora.

They asked for something in return - and their price was that I helped them set up my siblings and their crew (since Jack, Cassie and the others had been the Junction's Public Enemy Number 1 for years now and Jack was the most wanted intergalactic thief of his generation) for capture. I didn't want to do it, but given that I had no choice, I accepted it.

Soon after, Jack, Cassie, and the crew were captured during one of their heists - something the Junction only managed to do due to the information I gave them.

They tasked the crew to do a dangerous heist on a hostile planetary system, making them work for our worst enemy in order to avoid the firing squad, and the Junction made me join them on the heist as well, probably out of sadism to see me struggle to keep the truth of what I had done hidden. At the time, no one in the crew knew I had been the one to blame for their capture.

The worst part is that, by saving myself from harm, I ended up subjecting my brother to the same - if not worse - struggles I had endured, as the Director made him his favorite test subject, torturing and experimenting on him for fun in the guise of seeking scientific progress.

I hate myself with every fiber of my being for what I did, and I would do anything to go back and change the decision I made in the past. If I had known what the price of my betrayal would be, I would never have done it. I would have preferred to spend the rest of my days working with Eldora than to let my brother go through what the Director did and does to him.

In fact, I never should've left them - abandoned them - in the past, after our argument in the first place.

I have kept my betrayal a secret from them ever since we had to start working together again, and it's eating me up inside. I know that if I tell them the truth, it would be the final crack to Jack's spirit - and Cassie... well Cassie would probably try and kill me for it.

And she'd be right.

Tagging (gently): @sleepy-night-child, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @smol-feralgremlin, @oh-no-another-idea, @littleladymab,

@winterandwords, @eccaiia, @sarahlizziewrites, @illarian-rambling

@agirlandherquill, @anoelleart, @ray-writes-n-shit

@writernopal, @anyablackwood, @unstablewifiaccess, @forthesanityofstorytellers

@i-can-even-burn-salad, @cakeinthevoid @thecomfywriter

@thepeculiarbird, @clairelsonao3, @memento-morri-writes, @starlit-hopes-and-dreams

@differentnighttale, @leahnardo-da-veggie

[acourtofthought]

I'd love to hear your take on the frankly alarming degree to which e/riels seem to perceive Elain as if she were real person who needs all this protection and defence from """antis""" (adding three quotes on that because I find the term hilarious, honestly). Maybe it's just what the algorithm is showing me but it seems to me that this rampant, aggressive, near feral attitude of e/riels trying to prove they're the only ones who care about Elain and everyone else is, in their eyes, almost an evil caricature out to hate on her is so prevalent these days? I see plenty of rational ones too, but the vocal ones (that I see) seem to have lost their grip on reality vs fiction.

It's always "we care what Elain wants and Elucien's don't" isn't it?

So what they're saying is they are happy for Elain's character to end up with a guy who hasn't thought of a future with her beyond his sexual fantasies, called her a mistake before Rhys even spoke to him, can't admit to being over the female he loved for centuries, doesn't think Elain can handle the trove, gave her zero credit for her part in the war and felt a spark in his chest over the thought of another females joy simply because "it's what she wants" (though we actually don't have canon evidence that what Elain wanted from Az was anything more than a hookup).

These are books so what she wants honestly doesn't matter because her arc isn't over and SJM has the final say on what she wants (something that she has proven to have no issues changing up for her FMC) but say she was a real person. Say your best friend wanted a guy who felt better after spending time with a different girl, who wanted a guy who didn't think of a future with her beyond a night of hooking up, and they'd be completely supportive of that simply because "it's what she wants"?

My sister WANTED to stay married to a guy who was verbally abusive because she has low self esteem issues. While we accepted that it was her life and therefore she made her own choices we weren't required to be excited about it. We were allowed to see how unhappy the situation made her despite her inability to leave at the time, we were allowed to acknowledge how bad he was for her. We were allowed to hope that someday she'd meet someone who was better for her.

To me it's a very immature frame of mind to think that the people who care for you, truly care for you (and are not just motivated by their own desires) need to be happy with what you want when those people often are able to view how those things are unhealthy for you. We are at times our own worst enemy and when we're struggling with things like trauma we don't always make the best decisions. Elucien's are able to spot this behavior in Elain right now especially when she herself confirmed in SF that she still has trauma despite her attempts at find some sort of purpose in the NC. We are able to clearly see how she's choosing to avoid her real problems in favor of fixating on something that gives her a shot of dopamine which, while understandable after great change and loss, is not the way to go about having real character growth.

Does Mor not also have purpose in the NC? But is Mor making the best decisions for her own personal life at this point in the series? The same can be said of Elain's character.

We've all witnessed how Sarah writes a FMC wanting one guy only to start the deterioration of his character so that her eventually wanting another makes sense to us.

Feyre loved Tamlin to the point she was willing to die for him in book 1 but the author hammered home the red flags in book 2 paving the way for Rhys.

Aelin loved Chaol in book 2 of the TOG series only to for Sarah to write his later actions as being something she was unable to forgive, paving the way for her to eventually fall for Rowan (after having no romantic interest in him at the start).

Lucien was introduced as a possible love interest for Elain when the author mated them in book 2 (a very simple fact that proves that if they do end up together Sarah went the route of what SHE wanted and not fanservice since mates getting together is the hallmark of a fated mates author). But instead of ruining Lucien as a possible love interest for Elain, instead of writing him as doing something problematic that makes us understand why he's not the guy for Elain, she has continually written him to be supportive of what she wants, going out of his way to do what is best for her, has him acknowledge her bravery in the war, has him meet her father and realize what a good man he was, has him stare at Elain and only Elain with longing two years after their bond snapped. A lot like what we saw with Rhys for Feyre or Cassian for Nesta, where they longed for the females despite them pushing them away.

If Sarah did not want Elucien's to have hope that they might overcome any current obstacles she would have gone out of her way to show us exactly why he's not the right guy for Elain despite what anti's claim Elain wants right now. Because again, what Elain wants can change and precedence shows us what a FMC wants often does. Not to mention we don't know the exact reasons Elain has withdrawn from Lucien meaning there might be some deeply meaningful explanation for it in the same way we saw with Nesta for Cassian.

You know whose character she did begin to tarnish though? Az when it comes to Elain. He looked sweet towards her in ACOWAR and FAS but in SF he was petty, childish, jealous. He went off half-cocked at how he'd easily defeat Lucien (who is most certainly a future HL and by default will automatically have more power than Az will ever have once his powers manifest, Lucien who controlled the fiercest warrior of the Illyrians with a single word), she wrote him as never once acknowledging how Elain also saved him in the war, how she saved Cassian and Nesta during the war, how she saved Briar during the war. Sarah wrote Az has never having thought of a future with Elain beyond his sexual fantasies. She wrote Az very quickly moving past the events of Solstice with Elain and showing admiration for another female, believing in that females ability to take care of herself, having that female spark something in is chest that is a thing of secret lovely beauty.

It's fine if some people still like the idea of Az and Elain but let's not fool ourselves, it's clear that the author is not writing Az as being the good guy when it comes to her. She gave him the Tamlin treatment when it comes to Elain and we all know what that spells out.

I think the most amusing thing for me will be hearing what anti's have to say when / if Elucien is written as endgame after years of telling us that we don't care for Elain. When the author herself decides Lucien is the best thing for her, when the author herself decides to have them fall in love, when the author herself has left us those clues all along, are they going to accuse the fated mates author who created this world and these characters of not caring about a character they themselves had zero part in bringing to life?

[dawnslight-aegis]

18. hackneyed (make-up)

“What are your plans for Starlight?” The question slipped out before Aymeric had the chance to think better of it, and he winced at the flat stare Estinien sent him in response.

They hadn’t known each other terribly long, and been tentative friends an even shorter period of time, but even so, Aymeric knew how sensitive the other man was to any even oblique mention of his family.

He cast about for a follow-up statement that wouldn’t sound completely trite, and settled on a peace offering: “My mother makes an excellent holiday roast, if you’d like to come by. Far better than anything we can afford on our pay, and I wouldn’t wish the Congregation’s idea of Starlight dinner on my worst enemy, much less a friend.”

A grunt was his only answer, and Aymeric sighed internally. He hadn’t expected much, honestly. The dragoon-in-training was recalcitrant on his best day, but he was also unfailingly loyal, and completely unconcerned with social status in a way that was incredibly refreshing. Aymeric liked him a great deal, even with his sour attitude – and if Estinien accepted the invitation, maybe it would stop his mother from fussing about him being lonely, which always inevitably led to her trying to persuade him to live at home rather than the barracks.

Aymeric had not had many friends in his youth, and truthfully, joining the Temple Knights had been as much an attempt to find somewhere to belong as a place to prove himself and serve his city. He had hoped that his fellow recruits would judge him on his own merits, but the highborn gave him a large berth for the same baseless reasons they always had, and most of the lowborn sneered at the idea of another noble son playing knight – especially one who was his father’s heir. Spending his nights in the comfort of his childhood home would only make that problem all the worse.

Most days he attempted to distance himself from his parentage – both the truth and the rumor – but no one, not even his detractors, could begrudge him going home for Starlight.

And so he was sitting at the dining table, regaling his father with only slightly embellished stories from his recent forays into the highlands, while his mother put the finishing touches on a meal she still insisted on cooking herself, when there was a dull thud against the heavy wood of the front door.

His father always dismissed their meager household staff to their own family homes for the holiday, so Aymeric rose and hurried to the door himself, trying not to be too hopeful. Perhaps it was merely a group of carolers, or a friar accepting alms for the children of the Brume.

Opening the door revealed a rather disgruntled young elezen man, hair released from its customary tail, and clad in linen shirt and calfskin trousers that looked nice, if a bit rumpled, and entirely unsuitable for the season. Aymeric stared at him in shock for a moment, before his face cracked into a wide grin. “Estinien! I did not think you were coming!”

His excitement was met with a glare. “Are you going to let me in or not? It’s bloody cold out here.”

Aymeric stepped aside just in time to avoid being pushed aside as Estinien shoved himself through the doorway without waiting for an answer.

“My apologies. What made you change your mind?”

Estinien folded his arms across his chest, thin mouth set in an irritated line that Aymeric was beginning to suspect was partially embarrassment. “I never said no. And you were right, what they serve at the barracks tastes like chocobo’s arse,” he declared loudly, and Aymeric could hear a soft snort of laughter from his father in the dining room.

As they walked towards the dining room, Aymeric murmured a quiet, “mind your language in front of my mother, please.”

Estinien’s ears turned a bit pink, and suddenly he went from looking like a man of two and twenty to a boy of fifteen. “I’m not a bloody imbecile, I know how to behave,” he hissed back, and Aymeric very politely did not point out the hypocrisy in his word choice.

As they entered the dining room, so did the Lady de Borel, heavy silver platter held in delicate hands that had begun to shake more often than they did not. Leaving Estinien to stand in the doorway, Aymeric darted over to his mother and took the platter from her, ignoring her protests as he did so.

“Well, who’s this, then?” asked his father, peering at Estinien over his spectacles, and Aymeric smothered a laugh at how uncomfortable the man looked. ‘Twas uncharitable of him to find amusement there, but the man looked as if he had stepped onto a battlefield filled with dragons, rather than a friend’s home with his elderly parents.

“Estinien Varlineau, ser,” he responded, awkwardly, shifting his weight as if unsure of his welcome. “Aymeric invited me.”

As Aymeric put down the heavy platter of food, he decided to throw the poor man a lifeline. “Father, you will remember that I mentioned a young dragoon who saved my life two moons ago? That was Estinien, who has since become a good friend of mine. As he is unable to return home for Starlight, I invited him to ours.”

His mother gasped and walked over to Estinien, taking his hands in her own. “Oh, of course! Thank you so much for looking after our boy. Come, sit.” She tugged him towards the table and Estinien followed, looking a bit overwhelmed as she ushered him to the seat next to Aymeric’s own. His father rose and pulled out her chair for her as she walked back around the table, sinking into it gratefully, and Aymeric squashed a twinge of worry for how unsteady she seemed.

Estinien sat as he was bid, casting a slightly bewildered glance in Aymeric’s direction as he carved the roast and deftly transferred it to plates. “That’s laying it on a bit thick, isn’t it? As I recall, it was you saving my damned fool hide. Twice.”

Aymeric shot him a warning look, then shook his head, face falling back into a pleasant mien. “Ah, but if you had not wounded that dragon as you did, it would not have fled the battlefield, and instead finished what it began with the rest of our company. Thus I owe you my life, and my thanks.”

Ducking his head and fidgeting, Estinien didn’t say much throughout the dinner, only speaking when spoken to (and without any more swearing, praise Halone), save to compliment the cooking, which made Aymeric’s mother glow with pride. They had scarcely finished eating when his parents excused themselves, his father gently guiding his mother up the stairs as she leaned on him in exhaustion.

Aymeric sighed. Clearly she had overtaxed herself today – ‘twas likely that this would be the last Starlight dinner she cooked herself.

Turning to his guest, he held up the half-empty bottle of wine, then refilled only his own glass when Estinien shook his head. “I am glad you came. They worry too much, and I think you being here eased that somewhat. Or at least made them less likely to openly fuss over me.”

A faraway look came over Estinien’s features, doubtless thinking of his own parents, and he shook his head. “Wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Fancy house aside, you actually live like people.”

“Glad I am to have disabused you of the notion that I am some spoiled little lordling, playing at war,” Aymeric responded, a faintly bitter twist to his words.

“Oh, have no doubt, I still think you’re spoiled. Just in a normal way, not the highborn brat way.” Estinien grinned and tossed back the last dregs of his wine as if it were a mug of ale.

Aymeric laughed and shook his head. “’Tis better than the alternative, I suppose.”

Wood scraped over stone as Estinien shoved his chair back. “I should be getting back, I’m sure they’ll have us doing drills in the morning.” He turned away as he stood, then paused, not looking back. “Thanks,” he muttered, then tromped towards the front door without another word.

Whether he meant for the invitation, or for the arrow to the eye of the dragon that nearly killed him, or for the offer of friendship, Aymeric didn’t rightly know, but it warmed his heart as surely as the wine did.

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

So many people say they're being plagarised and offer no proof except all this hearsay. The one time I saw two people actually offer proof @selfproclaimedunicorn dismissed it as their writing and the accused were basically writing the same generic boring mid smut and weren't being plagarised at all or plagiarising. She says they were causing drama over generic expressions. The funny thing was the complainants fic was being recycled in a new fandom by the accused and nobody really took it seriously except a handful of their mutuals. It's you lot who create cliques and fear mongering and this idolatry worshipping writers with huge followings, in time creating your own worst enemies. People with clout somehow in the fandoms always act like corrupt cops. But it's people in the fandom who create it. I've never seen you reblog anyone's work except your friends. I've seen Natasha reblog different people and offer nice comments. But you and your friends don't. And Ange is .... I don't know. Will she be a bullet you dodged? She has a big following end she was part of a group who were unbelievably toxic until she changed (?) People are just awful in this fandom and you know it getting a taste of it yourself here and elsewhere. I've no doubt people whose OCs are overlooked and ignored or whose x readers are not read, their voices are silent and people steal from them voraciously and nobody cares. People friends with the bigger writers close ranks and shut everyone out and everyone else is scrabbling to fit in and be noticed. I can name on one hand writers who write for the fun and not attention or notes. I don't know you and I'm sorry you have suffered this but welcome to our world

honestly, i wasn't going to answer this because so much of it is just fucking stupid.

I know exactly what you're talking about re misa, and you tagged the wrong blog. it wasn't her that said that, it was @julyzaa - and you know what...she wasn't wrong. she was talking about two fics that shared a similar premise. and we both agreed that it wasn't plagiarism. it was just two authors who wrote an aemond smutty one shot with similar vibes. of which there are a million and one fics like that right now. there is an importance in being able to discern the difference.

and i'll just say it, this obsession of constantly bringing up Ange is weird. it's creepy at this point. you're welcome to dislike someone, but it's becoming glaringly obvious that there's individuals in fandom that want to blame an outside person instead of looking at themselves and the company they keep. in my time being Ange's friend, not once have I been bullied/harrassed/intimidated - not even in a joking way. the chatting never turns toxic and the only time we're talking about other people is when shit gets weird on the dash (like it is right now). that's just normal social interaction, babes. we spend most of our time discussing fic and the show and our real lives.

and frankly, i don't know where this idea of 'clique' came from or why it seems this is an accusation that's being thrown around - not just at myself but others. there's no clique. there's no secret club or burn book or whatever you think there is lurking out there where we're concerned. im so confused as to why it's an issue that friend groups crop up and people get close. that's the nature of being mutuals! it's weird to be angry at people for making friendships and taking those friendships offline.

this is my blog and i'm allowed to reblog what I want - as is everyone else. you don't have a solution for whole 'clique' conundrum you seem so concerned with, so I can only assume your answer would be for me to just reblog everything I see, in hopes that your work reaches an audience. and i'm not going to do that. i will reblog the stories and edits that speak to me, that inspire me, that i actually enjoyed. and i've become friends with a lot of those authors, sure. because i put in the effort to get to know them. i stopped posting on tumblr because I got no response when posting my fic. My audience is clearly elsewhere. But it's always 'will you reblog my stuff' but it's never reciprocated, so what's the point in supporting mutuals if the mutual relationship is gone? have you ever reached out to me? have you ever struck up a conversation or attempted to chat about something other than fic? no? then why do you have any expectations of me at all where your fic is concerned? maybe look that the relationships you have formed and you'll have your answer.

[blackjackkent]

All right, time to see what Wulbren has to say for himself, and if the game will let us call him a prick again.

He certainly seems cheerfully oblivious to how much Rakha dislikes him, at least to start off:

"Good to see you. Wasn't sure you'd make it to the city. Regretting it yet?"

Honestly, Wulbren, Rakha started regretting it right about the time that she realized you were here.

"I spent a lot of time thinking of worst-case scenarios while I was locked in that cell you plucked me out of at Moonrise," Wulbren goes on without waiting for an answer. "I didn't imagine anything as bad as this. The Gondians have handed Enver Gortash the means to bring about the end of liberty in Baldur's Gate. And the citizens have rolled out the red carpet for their new tyrant!"

He waves his arms with a gesture of disdain and frustration, his eyes narrowing. "Resistance fighters are few and far between. My Ironhands, what's left of the Harpers, and you - I hope."

Rakha exhales heavily out through her nose as she struggles to maintain focus. Wulbren pisses her off just by existing near her at this point - after how he treated both her and Barcus at Moonrise - but what he is saying is potentially useful information.

The Gondians - Wulbren mentioned them before. Enemies of the Ironhands, and now apparently aligned with Gortash. Helping him take control of the city.

And to hear Wulbren tell it, only the Ironhands are standing against them. The Ironhands and "what's left of the Harpers." Rakha shoots a glance at Jaheira sidelong; Jaheira has gone very still and is looking at Wulbren with piercing intensity.

After a long silence, Rakha finally answers, her voice low and carefully even, "Gortash is a dead man. I have reasons of my own for taking him down." She doesn't know exactly how much Wulbren knows about the Absolute, and isn't sure she wants to explain the details.

Wulbren grunts. "As long as our objective is the same, the reason doesn't matter to me. We have a common enemy. But neither of us gets what we want until we deal with our biggest obstacle."

There's a strained tension in him, drawing tighter word by word, and suddenly it snaps free. His eyes flare and his voice starts to rise in pitch and volume. "The Steel Watch!" he snaps. "They're a threat to you, me, and every man, woman, and child in the city! They act all civilized, servants of the people - but they only serve one man!" He scowls. "When he becomes Grand Duke, it will only get worse. Laws will change, freedoms will vanish, and soon you'll be accused and sentenced before you've even committed a crime!"

His voice lifts even louder, all but screaming in Rakha's face from his position several feet below her. "AND THE FUCKING GONDIANS ARE TO BLAME FOR ALL OF IT!"

The beast growls deep and low in Rakha's head. The urge to dropkick the little bastard into the wall is very powerful; he has no idea the knife's edge he is walking by using that tone with her.

But this is new information, important information. Gortash is to be a Grand Duke, someone like Wyll's father, one of the most powerful people in the city. He is rising rapidly; Karlach knew him as an arms dealer, Wyll knew him as an upstart power player, Florrick knew him as a Councilor.

(Rakha knew him too, somewhere in the ragged and broken pieces of her memory, but that is neither here nor there.)

And this Steel Watch, it seems, are his key. Florrick described them as automatons, metal constructs with the ability of powerful soldiers.

"Why put the blame on the Gondians?" she asks slowly.

"They invented the Steel Watchers," Wulbren hisses, vibrating with rage. "And they're building an army of them! They've always been happy to provide their technology to despots in exchange for a stipend and the freedom to work in peace. They would have licked Sarevok's boots, given the chance, and now they'll kiss Gortash's ring while the city screams."

He begins to pace restlessly back and forth in front of her. "I had a plan to put a stop to them. But the way things are now, if we stick our heads above ground, the Watchers are on us like flies on shit."

Rakha is silent again for a moment, parsing all this out.

The Gondians, then, are like Barcus. Inventors. Creators. If Wulbren is right, they created the Steel Watch; they are assisting Gortash's rise to power in the city. Perhaps Wulbren is right to hate them, to wish them destroyed...

And yet... the idea itches at the back of Rakha's head. Why would Gortash pay people to make the Steel Watch? He has access to tadpoles, to the influence of the Brain, to ultimate control. He does not need willing servants; he has an infinite supply of unwilling ones.

And far more importantly - whatever Wulbren is planning bothered Barcus deeply, and he told Rakha to talk Wulbren out of it. And Barcus is Rakha's friend, and Wulbren, very decidedly, is not.

"What was the plan?" she asks.

A savage smile twists at Wulbren's lips and he goes very still with an air of sudden focus. "Same as it always is," he says tightly. "Eliminate the threat. In this case, the foundry where these atrocities are produced. The Gondians are ingenious - but we're more than equal to them." His eyes go hard. "There's nothing they can build that the Ironhands can't tear down."

His eyes flick to the side of the room, to a table, on which sits a large metallic casing a little larger than Rakha's torso. It is covered in spikes, welded tightly shut - and smells of unspent flame.

"I've built something unique for just that purpose," Wulbren goes on, and there's no mistaking the subtle, brutal glee in his voice now. "A runepowder bomb - first of its kind. Fifty wizards high on the Weave couldn't summon this kind of firepower." He leans forward towards Rakha. "Get the bomb inside the Gondian facility and... boom..." He mimes an explosion with his fingers. "Problem solved."

"Wulbren, please!" Barcus has been listening quietly off to the side, but can no longer contain himself, hearing Wulbren describe his intentions. "This is too far! Everyone in the foundry would be killed!"

"Quiet, Barcus," Wulbren snaps back icily. "The adults are talking."

A confused muddle of emotions roils through Rakha's head, strongly enough to stagger her.

Rage, first - rage at Wulbren. You will not talk to him that way. I will rip your spine from your back and shove it down your gut--

And then her stomach turns and her shoulders hunch up against the sudden onslaught of images as the beast, fully awake and hungry now, takes control. A fiery explosion and hundreds of bodies all conflagrating at once within it, screaming out their last, destroyed in Wulbren's pursuit of bloody vengeance...

Yes... the beast murmurs. Do as he says. Take the bomb. Destroy the foundry. Barcus is right - so many deaths, mass murder in our Father's name, kill--kill--kill--kill--kill--

"No..."(*) she says hoarsely.

Wulbren glares at her, visibly disgusted by her lack of eagerness for the Gondians' deaths. (If only he knew what is tearing itself apart in her head...)

"The Gondians picked their side the minute they took orders from Gortash," he points out harshly. "If they had any courage, they'd have refused him and died like heroes, spitting in his face. Now they'll die like the dogs they are!"

Yessssssss... hisses the beast inside Rakha's brain. Like dogs, all of them... burning, melting, screaming, dying dogs...

"No..."(*) she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut, both fists clenching at her sides. Then, stronger, "I'll... find another way..."

(A/N: Really? REALLY? Minthara I get, but ALL of y'all want me to blow up a building with potentially innocent people inside it on the word of Wulbren Fucking Bongle? Whatever. 🙄

The full line here, which I truncated, is "Gortash is the enemy, not the Gondians. I'll find another way." I looked up the dialogue files and Astarion and Shadowheart also disapprove of this choice. Karlach, Minsc, and Halsin approve; no opinion from Lae'zel and Gale. Not sure I agree with the devs on this one. 😕After discussion with @astreamofstars we've come to the conclusion that Jaheira (and Wyll) disapprove only bc they don't think Wulbren should keep the bomb for himself either. XD )

Wulbren goes very still and his expression goes hard as steel. "There is no other way," he says coldly. "When you come crawling back here - and you will - we can talk."

-----

Barcus is pacing again in deep agitation when Rakha goes back to talk to him afterwards.

"A runepowder bomb," he says anxiously, looking up at her. "What the devil has he become?"

Rakha shrugs. "I want nothing to do with it,"(*) she mutters curtly.

Barcus snorts bitterly. "If only Wulbren shared your sentiments." He rubs at his jaw with a worried expression. "The Gondians are inventors, just like us! Similarly persnickety and self-important, too." The faint flash of a rueful smile, but it disappears as quickly as it came, and he shakes his head. "Something is wrong. Very wrong."

He begins to pace again, hands hooked behind his back. "You did well refusing Wulbren's proposition, but I fear he'll find some fool who'll plant his bomb. The Gondians deserve a chance to plead their case before being blown to pieces." He looks up at her hesitantly, hopefully. "Please - find out what's going on?"

If she's honest, her interest is less in the Gondians and more in the automaton's they've created - but it is Barcus asking, so she nods stiffly. "All right," she says. "I'll speak to them."

Barcus brightens, visibly relieved. "That's all I ask," he says with an earnest nod. "Questions first, violence later. And only if absolutely necessary."

Rakha snorts softly, an almost-laugh. Perhaps this is why Barcus has joined the short roll of those she values, when so many others have not. It's a sentence she could very well imagine coming out of her own mouth.

Questions first. Violence later. Yes.

-----

(*) This was one of those cases where none of the available dialogue lines really fit where Rakha's head was at. The closest available option was speculating that the Gondians were victims rather than oppressors, but I don't think Rakha's feeling quite articulate enough to make that point at present. So we go with a little artistic license here.

(*) Another line truncation. Full line is: "It's a radical plan. I want nothing to do with it."

[countrymusiclover]

7 - Cuba Beach

Part 8

Battle of Heart and Mind

Tag list - ask to be added (in my ask box please) @aintinacage @hiraethrhapsody @mostlymarvelgirl @importantgalaxyrunaway

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I wasn’t sure any of us honestly could. This was our first battle together as a team. The battle that would determine if mutants were accepted into the world for saving the world. Or would we be hunted down because we were different and viewed as the next enemy of the world.

Sitting on the edge of the bed my hair was slightly tousled with my gaze fixated on the shut bedroom in front of me. I had been up for a few hours just silently staring at the door. “If I leave then I have to face my father…but if I stay they might need my help.”

Gripping the bed sheets in my fingers I thought back to the moments with my father. He wasn’t that good of a father when it came down to it. Always busy in the lab experimenting on Erik. My mother must have disappeared for a reason…I hated to think it was because of him.

“Addison, can I come in?” Shaking my head a voice pulled me from my thoughts recognizing it as Erik nonetheless.

I stumbled from the bed hearing him turn the metal doorknob with his power slowly entering my bedroom. “Uh sure. Come in.”

“Charles found suits that Hank made. He told me to come find you and bring you yours. Are you ready?” He stepped through the doorway carrying a blue and yellow flight suit on his left arm.

Twiddling my thumbs together in my lap. “I don’t know if I can do this, Erik.”

“Are you thinking of backing out?” He asked the question I was dreading.

Closing my eyes I couldn't look him in the eye when it left my mouth. “Would you be upset if I backed out…I mean he's my father even if he wants to destroy the world.”

“Hey, now what makes you think that I would be angry if you backed out.” He gave me a confused expression.

Throwing my head back I couldn't believe we were having the conversation now. He had made it perfectly clear what his life mission was all along. I wasn’t so native as Charles who believes he might change his mind once we find my father. “Because you only care about getting vengeance for what he did to your mother ... .I've known it's going to happen with or without my support.”

“Addison, I…I'd never hurt you. It's only your father I wish to make suffer.” Erik came over sitting down beside me on the bed having it creak at the sudden weight change.

Avoiding his gaze I mumbled softly. “I'm not afraid of you, Erik…”

“I'm not good at expressing my emotions with others. But….I gave you this for a reason.” He gently reached for the metal coin in between his fingers, seeing that I hadn't taken it off since he gave it to me back in Russia.

Nodding slowly I still wouldn't meet his gaze. “Why exactly did you give it to me?”

“It was because…because against what you think I trust you more than you think I do.” Erik moves his hands up cradling my face in his hands making me finally look into his brown eyes.

Croaking through some tears. “You trust me?”

“I wouldn't just say that to anyone on the street now would I.” He remarks in a slightly snarky manner.

I snorted, getting an idea in my head. “I suppose not. That gives me an idea.”

Breaking away from I rummaged around in the desk drawer at my bedside until I found the folded up object. Unfolding the piece of paper I held back tears holding it out to him. “Addison, what are you doing?”

“I'm giving it to you. As my own sign of trust that you'll keep your word about my mother. Helping me find out what happened to her.” I held it out for him to not move my gaze anywhere else.

The metal controlling mutant had no words eyeing the picture in her palm. He had seen the picture only once before this. He knew that the unknown was eating at her. That the picture was the only thing she had of her meaning he could only assume the worst had happened to her mother but he wouldn't dare utter that thought to her mind. “I can't take it. I won't take it, Addison.”

“Erik, please. There's nothing else I can entrust you with in my life.” I replied.

He declared gently. “That's not true.”

“Then what exactly?” I raised a brow hugging the picture back to my chest.

He held the side of my cheek in his palm once more feeling me lean into his hand. “You can trust me with your heart as I can you with mine.”

“Erik…” I mumbled leaning forward not thinking that we needed to be getting ready to fight. Pressing my lips onto his he leans forward deepening the kiss by holding my face in both hands again.

Laying the picture on the side of the bed I climbed into his lap wrapping my arms around his neck moving my lips onto his longingly. “Addi.”

“Erik, Addi. Hank has the plane ready to go.” Charles voice came from the hallway where he halted in his tracks. “Am I interrupting something?”

Erik growled under his breath separating from me. “Nothing at all, old friend.”

“I was just getting changed.” I lied with Erik leaving the room. I quickly got to my feet eyeing Charles who stared at me for a moment with an almost saddened look on his face. I knew he could read my mind but wouldn't without permission first. ‘ Does he have feelings for me ‘ I couldn't help but think to myself.

Everyone had gotten on the plane that Hank had designed. I was seated between Erik and Alex. Raven was beside her brother and Banshee. Leaning back in my seat Charles decided to control the Russians to fire on their own ship but that meant Hank had to barrel roll the plane so we didn't get hit. Shutting my eyes tightly I gripped the seatbelt in my hands feeling another hand touch mine. I smiled lightly seeing it was Erik once the plane settled down. Charles and Banshee got out of their seats. “Hank, level the bloody plane.”

“Woah you back right up.” Banshee points at Erik who raises his hands in surrender. I chuckled knowing that he was right to not trust Erik after the flight incident.

Charles brushed past me grabbing my hand in his after Banshee found out that Shaw was in a sub underneath the water. Erik climbed down on the tire of the plane with me and Charles watching his movements. Erik grunted trying to raise the sub from the water but he couldn’t fully do it. “Remember the point between rage and serenity.” Charles declared into his friend's mind.

“What am I supposed to do when we get Shaw on land?” I questioned the telepath.

Charles looked my way at the same time Erik fully raised the sub from the water and slowly dropped it onto the sandy beach that was a few feet away from us. Hank flies the plane in that direction until one of the ships blasted us down. “Just stay with Erik. You'll be the most powerful one to face off against him if it comes down to that.”

Charles pulled Erik up inside the plane as best as he could. Everybody got thrown and Hank did his best to make the plane not snap when we hit land. I get thrown onto the metal floor harshly holding my head when we finally hit and everyone was recovering from the damage. Pushing myself to my feet I looked towards Charles who was staring at me before Erik forced himself to his feet hollering my name. “Addison!, we're going to get Shaw.” I ran up meeting with him knowing that the others would do what they needed to protect Charles inside the plane. Erik ripped a hole in the metal and we walked right inside seeing there was a fancy couch and TV inside but nobody was there. Moving forward I could feel that something was off but I wasn't sure what exactly.

“Erik, you're there. You've reached the void.” Erik said, beginning to get frustrated.

Stepping towards the end of the sub I pressed my hands against the wall feeling some form of energy radiating from the wall. “Erik, somebody else is here. I can feel their power.” I looked over my shoulder with my hands turning red siphoning from the source.

“He's not here, Charles. Shaw's not here! He's left the sub!” He grumbled.

I could hear Charles voice. “What? He's got to be there. He has to be!”

“There's nowhere else he can be. Keep looking.”

“And I'm telling you he's not. There's no one here, God damn it!” Erik raised his voice.

The wall in front of me disappeared, making me gasp sharply seeing my father in front of me. He slowly stepped forward, raising his hand and drawing me into his chest. “Hello Addison, Have you decided to join your father finally?”

“Erik!” I screamed before my father covered my mouth with his hand the second Erik turned around seeing us.

My father replied. “Erik, what a pleasant surprise. So good to see you again. May I ask you something? Why are you on their side? Why fight for a doomed race who will hunt us down as soon as they realize their reign is coming to an end?”

“Let go of me!” I grunt against my father trying to grab any part of his body to take his power but he was stronger than I was.

Erik raised his hand to use his power against him but my father was faster using his power to throw Erik against the wall. He threw him around the room a few more times before he held him to the wall with a large metal pole. “I'm sorry for what happened in the camps. I truly am. But everything I did, I did for you. To unlock your power. To make you embrace it. You've come a long way from bending gates. I'm so proud of you. And your just starting to scratch the surface. Think of how much further we could go, together.”

“You just want to destroy the world. Kill anyone who isn’t like us!” I snapped at him, managing to grip his forearm, taking his energy. He winced lowering himself to the ground, being weakened.

He gasped for breath. “You’re just like you’re mother…never seeing my vision of the world.”

“What happened to her?” I questioned him standing above him with my hands clutching into fists.

Shaw groaned. “She left, Addison. She left and I saw her a few years later and she said she wants nothing to do with any mutant’s.”

“You made her hate me.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying when I raised my hand throwing him against the wall. He got to his feet, launching me onto my knees using his power and wrapping some metal wire around me so I couldn’t move.

“We are the future of the human race. You and me, son….you too my daughter. This world could be ours.” My father declared to him, smirking at me.

“Everything you did made me stronger. It made me the weapon I am today. It's the truth. I've known it all along. You are my creator…..Now, Charles!” Erik reached up with a metal wire snatching the helmet off his head.

“Sorry, Charles. But I don’t trust you.” Erik apologized putting the helmet my father had on his head meaning Charles couldn’t be in his mind anymore.

“Erik, please. Be the better man. Erik, there will be no turning back!” Charles begged him.

“If you're in there, I'd like you to know that I agree with every word you said. We are the future.” Erik turns his back to me, glaring at my father moving the coin through the center of his forehead. “But, unfortunately, you killed my mother. This is what we're going to do. I'm going to count to three and I'm going to move the coin. One….two….three.”

Charles was still inside my mind as I struggled against the metal wires. I snapped the wire forcing myself to my feet watching everything happen. “Addi, do something. Stop him!” Staring silently at Erik we both watched my father drop dead in front of our eyes.

Holding up my right hand I drew the bloody coin off the ground and Erik didn't bother stopping me. It smacked against my hand as I closed my fingers around the coin tightly mumbling under my breath. “Goodbye father…”

“We should inform the others. It's now us against them.” Erik brushed past me leaving me conflicted with my thoughts. I didn't know if it was right that everyone that isn’t a human should suffer but its all I've known following Erik for years.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 28

Chapter 28

Shingen spent most of the rest of the day resting before his fever broke. It seemed the medicine I had made had helped him. Once he seemed to be better, we met with Sasuke to discuss our plans before gathering everyone else and discussing the plan with them.

Of course…everyone reacted quite differently to learning that Sasuke and I were from the future. Kenshin seemed to take it the worst, as he was chasing Sasuke around with his sword. “How dare you keep something like this from me! And now you want to go back?!”

“Lord Kenshin, please calm down.” Sasuke asked, as he nimbly dodged each swing of Kenshin’s sword. “And I intend to come back when Lord Shingen and Ava return. I want to go to help them come back.”

Kenshin had Sasuke backed into a corner. “You swear on your life to return?”

“I swear, Lord Kenshin.” Sasuke said, meeting Kenshin’s gaze head on.

Kenshin nodded. He was then turning his sword on Shingen. “And YOU had better come back. If they cure you, we will fight to the death. If they can’t cure you, then death by my blade is more honorable.”

“You do realize I am going to get cured so I can live by my goddess’s side right?” Shingen asked, looking up at Kenshin, not even phased. 

“You know, you really need to find new hobbies, Kenshin.” I said.

“Or a woman.” Shingen muttered.

“I will kill you.” Kenshin said to Shingen, but sheathed his sword and sat back down.

Shingen looked over at Yukimura. “You’re being awfully quiet, Yuki.”

“I just…it’s a lot to take in.” Yukimura replied. “My best friend isn’t from this time period…but that honestly…well a lot of things make sense now…but also, there’s really a chance you could be saved? You have to take it. I’ll take care of everything here in your stead until you get back.”

Shingen smiled. “I am glad to hear you say that.”

It made me happy to see that Yukimura was so supportive…even Kenshin was in his own Kenshin way. 

“I will do my best to help look after things as well, cousin.” Yoshimoto added.

“Oh, no I don’t need help from a dumbass like you.” Yukimura said.

Shingen chuckled. “I am happy to hear that you are both willing to help out.”

Kanetsugu was now questioning Sasuke on the various items from the future Sasuke has apparently shown him and if he could bring back more. The only person who wasn’t really responding was Saki. She was sitting quietly.

“Saki…” I hesitantly spoke to her. “Are…are you okay?”

“I’m just thinking back to all of the weird things you’ve said and done that suddenly make sense.” Saki replied. “So many things…”

I felt myself flushing slightly. “Yeah…I can see that.”

We spent the rest of the evening making our plans. It would take us a few days to reach Kyoto. To be there in time, we needed to leave in two days. We had a lot to do and a short time to do it in, but with everyone’s help I was certain we could make it.

The next day, we were packing up things we would need for the trip, Sasuke and I making sure to find our safely hidden away future items. Saki was helping me pack up. “Do…do you want me to go with you?” Saki asked. “You know for support…”

I gave her a smile. “I appreciate that…but I think Yukimura might need your support more than I will.” I told her.

“He would be lost without me.” Saki replied. “But…you won’t be will you?”

I gave her a hug. “I’ll be alright…and you could just tell me you’re gonna miss me.”

Saki returned my hug. “Of course I am going to miss you. You’re not just my lady, but my best friend.”

“And you’re my best friend, too.” I told her. “You’re like the sister I never had but always wanted.”

“On your first day back, we are having tea time.” Saki said. “And you have got to tell me more about stuff from the future and your life there.”

I pulled back and smiled at her. “Alright, deal…and I’ll make sure to bring you back something extra special, too.”

“You don’t have to bring me back anything…just make sure YOU come back.” Saki told me.

I was lifting my hand up and holding out my pinky. “Remember what I taught you?”

Saki smiled as she lifted her hand, linking her pinky with mine. “You swear you’ll come back?”

“I swear.” I told her. “Once we get Shingen cured, we’ll be back.”

Saki smiled. “You better.”

One week later…

We arrived at Hono-ji in the early afternoon. When we had left Echigo, the goodbyes…well they were a mixed bag. Yukimura had looked on the verge of tears while Yoshimoto saw us off with a kind and happy smile. Saki had been holding Yukimura’s hand…and her other had frantically waved as she saw us off. Kanetsugu had warned Sasuke that he had better return to their lord or he would have to come to the future and drag him back himself.

Kenshin…well he had a very Kenshin goodbye. Sword swinging and declaring that if we didn’t come back he would kill us all. Don’t know how he planned to do that if we were in the future (which once he found out was peaceful and illegal for people to carry weapons…he had zero interest in coming to).

The trip had taken a bit of a toll on Shingen. He was definitely pale and weak. His fever had returned, but I was able to keep it from spiking too high with the medicine I had learned to make from Ieyasu.

“We should probably find a place to rest until the time comes.” I said.

Sasuke nodded his head in agreement. “Definitely.”

“Are you two that worried about me?” Shingen asked, a smile on his face, though he looked so incredibly tired.

I lifted my hand to caress his cheek. “Of course we are. That is the entire point of this trip in the first place.”

Sasuke pulled out his notebook and looked through his calculations. “We will need to head this way…it should be happening in about,,,,twenty minutes.”

As we walked, Shingen kept his arm around me and I supported him as best as I could. I could tell he was weaker after the journey. We soon made our way to a garden and sat down. I pulled more medicine out of my bag and gave it to Shingen.

“Thank you, my angel.” He said, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek after taking the medicine.

“I’m just glad that I am able to do something to help.” I replied, leaning over and wrapping both of my arms around one of his, hugging him.

“You know, you two really are cute together.” Sasuke said, giving us both one of his signature small smiles. “I’m glad we’ll be getting you cured Lord Shingen and that you won’t be leaving Ava heartbroken…and Yukimura too.”

“You really think that what I have can be cured?” Shingen asked.

“There’s always a chance that even our medicine and technology won’t be enough.” Sasuke answered. “But it’s a far better chance than the limits of our time and technology here.”

“I know it sounds silly…but I have a good feeling.” I said. “Especially with your connections through the university, Sasuke.”

“True. You will be able to be treated with the latest…and even some still experimental treatments.” Sasuke said. 

The three of us sat and chatted, passing the time before the first raindrop fell. “It’s starting.” Sasuke said.

The three of us stood. Sasuke opened his own umbrella as I opened one to hold over Shingen and myself. Shingen wrapped his arm around my waist as the rain steadily picked up. Thunder clapped and lightning streaked across the sky. A bolt soon struck near us and a swirling gray mass soon took shape and began to grow.

“Here it comes.” Sasuke said as the mass moved towards us.

I gripped the umbrella tight with one hand and held onto Shingen with the other even as he still held onto me. We were soon enveloped in the swirling gray. All sight and sound disappeared, though I could still feel Shingen as we held onto each other.

It was both forever and over in an instant when the gray mass fell away and we were soon standing on the smooth concrete walkway by the Hono-ji monument in modern day Japan.

“Welcome to the future, Lord Shingen.” Sasuke announced.

Taglist" @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16 @lucyw260 @lovely-bubb1es @selenacosmic

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

My biggest problem with leftist thought, and the thing that ultimately keeps me from considering myself genuinely leftist, is that nothing in the world -- absolutely nothing -- can function without boundaries. We know this from every level of our own lives -- if we don't or aren't permitted to establish and preserve healthy boundaries for ourselves, we will always end up victimized by someone or something, intentionally or unintentionally.

And leftists and leftist communities are honestly pretty good (with exceptions, but *generally* pretty good) at the skills and systems that help people locate, articulate, and maintain boundaries with people they love -- or more broadly, among people who are in an overall positive relationship. That's why the praxis tends to revolve around cultivating Beloved Community, mutual aid, and the like -- because those are the contexts in which leftist practices of consensus, consent, conflict resolution, and restorative justice absolutely flourish. You know the saying about when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail? Those things are the hammer that leftists own; of course they are keen on the idea of a world full of nothing but nails.

The problem is that boundaries are still completely vital, foundationally vital for human life and well-being, when you are among people who do not love you. And the *problem* problem is that the tools and techniques for establishing and securing your boundaries are not transferable. What works within the Beloved Community fails outside of its scope. If it ain't a nail, it simply cannot be hammered. You can *hit* it with your hammer, but you're not going to be pleased with the results.

The world that leftists imagine can *only* consist of a communion of beloveds. They don't have a tool set for dealing with anyone else. At best, attempts to establish boundaries simply fail, and they get run over by their opponents. At worst, they put down the metaphorical hammer and switch over to, as Audre Lorde would say, the Master's tools, and become functionally indistinct from any other ideology enforcing obedience through fear and punishment.

I love the values and vision of leftist movements, but I just can't get past this issue where it seems like they fundamentally run out of ideas when it comes to the hard reality that not everyone on Earth is your friend now, *or ever will be.* As much as I believe we can and should (must, even!) massively expand our communities of care, the notion that we'll one day live in a totalizing Fellowship of All Humankind governed primarily by a worldwide commitment to loving our neighbors -- well, I can say with quite a bit of confidence that I won't live to see the day. And I think people alive right now deserve to hear the best possible solutions *for the world we currently live in,* not the hypothetical world that leftists would be really good at organizing.

Liberalism is obviously not without its shortcomings, but it was forged on top of the ruins of a civilization that had all but destroyed itself through centuries of brutal, relentless violence aimed at eradicating religious, ideological, and political opposition, and its central, powerful insight is that *eliminating your enemies* is not a worthwhile goal. You simply have to figure out how to exist alongside them, and liberalism is, at its heart, a set of contractual principles and functional boundaries that are designed to work while you're living among people you don't necessarily like even a little bit. And that's going to keep being the situation on the ground for a while now -- you will have to resolve conflict in your life more often, and with greater stakes, when you're in confrontation with someone who has not agreed to view you as a loved one. That's when you need the boundary-setting tools of civil society, as distinct from the tools of Beloved Community.

I don't think leftists really have tools appropriate to civil society. They just keep telling me things like "we make us safe," which is beautiful, but like, who the fuck is "we"? Because some of Us are making the rest of us extremely unsafe right now, in ways that we cannot put off addressing! I happen to agree that the *best possible* redress for most of our problems begins with choosing love and solidarity, but that's currently only *barely* actionable in our own individual relationships. It's not actionable *at all* on the systemic level.

And I just don't feel like I have any more time to waste on solutions that can't be practiced. Right now.

[soft-jihoonie]

I Hated You But I Want You - Chapter 1

Pairing: Chanyeol x f!reader

Genre: University AU - enemies to lovers

Warnings: none currently, may change throughout the series

Words: 1,094

A/N: As always, if you like the fic please like, reblog or reply! I’d love to know what you think

| 1 | 2 |

Park Chanyeol is just about the smuggest dickhead you’ve ever met, and now you’re forced to cooperate with him.

You never really thought having to do partner work on projects at university would be an issue, you’d been paired up with plenty of people with no problem at all. Chanyeol though, Chanyeol is a problem.

It’s not like he’s the worst person in the world, sometimes he can be fairly amusing, but the way he gets away with doing the bare minimum of work through his charm riles you up way too much. So you’re understandably annoyed when you check your email from your lecturer with a spreadsheet of who’s partnered with who, and find your name right next to Chanyeol’s.

You’ve heard many stories from your friends of how Chanyeol will barely contribute till the last minute, turning his portion of the work in the morning of a project being due some times. He knows he’s good at the degree, and that drives you up the wall that he won’t be a cooperative team member, only caring about his own grade.

You can’t help but groan audibly when you read his name, leading Kyungsoo, your friend you’re hanging with before class, to ask, “Who’s your partner? I got Minseok.”

You mumble out, “Lucky”, as you turn your phone screen to Kyungsoo, pointing at Chanyeol’s name.

Kyungsoo pulls a sympathetic face and says, “Man, I feel for you, I hated working in a group with him, partners is going to be way worse!”

“Thanks for the confidence, Soo.”

He laughs and says, “Speaking of that class, we should probably head towards the seminar room before we’re late.”

You nod, gathering up your items and following Kyungsoo to the room, idly chatting with him along the way.

As if the universe was looking to mess you around further, Chanyeol was standing outside the seminar room, laughing obnoxiously loudly at something his shorter friend has said.

You don’t manage to suppress your eye roll, Kyungsoo quietly laughing when he sees you do so. He stops on the other side of the seminar room door to Chanyeol and leans against the wall and you follow suit.

Your idle conversation with Kyungsoo is being interrupted moments later, and you hear Chanyeol’s voice say, “Ah! You’re my partner on the new project!”

Mentally reminding yourself to act nice, you turn to face Chanyeol and respond, “Yep that’s me!”

Chanyeol grins and you can’t deny that it’s sort of endearing, he responds, “Y/n, right? I’m Chanyeol.”

You can’t help but chuckle at him introducing himself when your names had been on the spreadsheet saying you were partners. Chanyeol seems to realise this as he says, “Ah right, you probably already know that.”

Deciding to take pity on him, you smile and say, “Yeah I do but thanks for introducing yourself anyway!”

Chanyeol grins back at you and then the two of you return to your conversations with your own friends. As your listening to Kyungsoo complain about another module he has that you don’t share, you find yourself thinking that maybe Chanyeol isn’t that bad. He seems like a nice enough guy, maybe your friends had been exaggerating.

That thought is quickly disproven once the seminar starts. Your lecturer tells you to sit in your pairs and after giving a run down of what’s expected of the project, sets you to all start planning together. You pull up a blank word document on your laptop and turn to Chanyeol as you ask, “Alright, what should our projects focus be?”

Chanyeol doesn’t look up from his phone, shrugging as he says, “Honestly pick whatever you prefer, I don’t really mind.”

You don’t hold back your annoyance as you say, “Seriously? We’re meant to be working on this together, you should at least have a say.”

Chanyeol’s eyes finally leave his phone to look at you, seeming a bit surprised at your response. He shrugs once more and says, “I don’t know, tell me your ideas and I guess I’ll say which one’s I like.”

You’re close to raising your voice at him from annoyance but seeing that the lecturer is glancing your way, you take a deep breath and begin typing down your ideas onto the word document. Rolling your eyes when Chanyeol goes back to his phone.

Coming up to the end of the seminar, you’ve managed to force Chanyeol to pick a project topic with you and decide which parts of the project you’ll each focus on specifically. You’re packing away your laptop and notebook when you see Chanyeol’s phone shoved in front of you.

Sending a quizzical look his way, you glance back down at his phone screen to see it open on a new contact. Chanyeol says, “You should put in your number so we can keep in contact about the project.”

You’re definitely surprised that Chanyeol’s initiating this when he’d been so reluctant to cooperate with you all class, but you still take his phone and put your number in, passing it back to him when your done.

Chanyeol smirks at you and says, “Easiest way to get such a pretty girls number”

You roll your eyes, picking up your bag as you stand up and walking off towards Kyungsoo. You can’t help but scoff at Chanyeol’s comment, thinking he’d never have a chance to get your number if it wasn’t for this project.

Chanyeol isn’t unattractive. He’s definitely one of the more conventionally attractive men on your course, but his personality puts you off him easily. You’ve never really liked the joker fuck boy types, and Chanyeol fits right into that category.

Kyungsoo swings an arm around your shoulder as you head out of the seminar room, introducing you to Minseok who walks out with you. Minseok already seems to be a much nicer partner than Chanyeol, and he gives you a sympathetic look when you begin to complain to Kyungsoo about your partner.

As you settle down at a table in the library about 10 minutes later with Kyungsoo and Minseok, your phone buzzes in your hand. Checking the notification you see it’s an unknown number messaging you.

Opening the message, you see it says, ‘so when can I see you next baby? - Chanyeol aka hottest guy you know’

You roll your eyes, typing back ‘next seminar session’ and then saving the number in your phone under the contact Pain in my ass.

You choose to ignore the frowning emoji Chanyeol sends back in return and get to work starting on the project.

[samobservessonic]

We’re back again with our Uncle Kintobor for story time. The title says this is part 2, but I’m sure this is the third one of these that we’ve done. Regardless, Kintobor picks up from where we left off last time with Sonic having achieved his first defeat of Robotnik and now needing to figure out what to do with the Chaos Emeralds

Helping Sonic figure out the answer to that is the usual duo of Porker & Johnny. Y’know, as much as Porker is one of my fave StC characters, I do sometimes wonder why, out of all the small animals and the characters who appeared on that AoStH promo art, it was these two who Kitching favoured using. In the early issues, Millar would also throw Sally into the mix, but Kitching stuck with Porker and Johnny, making them staples of StC. Maybe it was an editorial decision or maybe he just liked pigs and rabbits? Regardless, it is something I’m curious about

Anyway, if you’re wondering how Sonic would lose the emeralds again in time for Sonic 2, they just vanish! But not before causing some trouble on the way out…

Super Sonic!

The retcon I’ve been waiting for is now in place, with the flashback establishing that it was taking the full blast of the chaos energy that made Sonic able to turn into Super Sonic. And, just like how the Chaos Emeralds made Robotnik evil in StC, they’ve had a similar effect on Sonic. I’d always heard that the reason behind Fleetway Super Sonic being like he is is because Kitching reckoned that Sonic was already the fastest thing alive, so making him even more powerful just wasn’t as interesting as making him his own worst enemy. But honestly, even outside of that, I like that they keep it fair - if the emeralds had that effect on Kintobor, then they have that effect on Sonic as well

The Kintobor Computer also explains on another panel that it’s being kept together that makes the emerald unstable, causing them to warp back to the Special Zone. I enjoy these in-universe explanations for game mechanics

With a brief introduction to Super Sonic, we find Sonic waking up dazed in a place called Swampland Zone, where he finds what he assumes to be two guys drowning in a lake nearby

We all know who this is! Though he’s not actually local to the Swampland Zone (even if Sonic doesn’t know about that), Tails is here and he’s grateful to Sonic for saving him

The one thing that I think is kind of a shame about this story being a brief look at how everything came to be is that it means parts of Tails’s backstory that I like are changed. Namely that he already knows how to fly prior to meeting Sonic and that Tails is something he cheerfully calls himself and not an insult that Sonic helps him claim back from the bullies. It’s a small gripe, but if the story had been longer, then I would’ve liked to have seen Tails’s backstory be closer to what it was in the old Sonic 2 instruction manual. As a side note, I really liked how the short silent animation in Sonic Origins handled that story

With Tails in the mix, we get a recap of the events of Sonic 2. Then our story ends with Kintobor telling us that Sonic found a safe place to store the Chaos Emeralds together in the North Cave, where they mostly remain when they’re not being stolen by Captain Plunder

And that’s the conclusion of our first Sonic’s World story, but we’re told that this feature will return in issue 32, which is a little way off where we are now

In the meantime, we don’t have to worry about going back down to one Sonic story per issue, because next issue the Tails solo stories are back! After enjoying the first couple of adventures in the Nameless Zone, I’m looking forward to seeing Tails potentially return there next time

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Azusa Maniac [10]

Monologue

ーー Even though we had been released from our prison cell,

now that we have been labeled as traitors,

it would be wise not to set foot outside carelessly. 

Following said advice from Ruki-kun,

we decided to borrow one of the rooms,

inside the manor.

What will we do now? 

Once we had made ourselves comfortable,

we began to discuss the matter, however...

Yui: ( I still can’t believe it. That the guys are now considered traitors. )

( I’d love to help them somehow, but what can I do...? )

Hey, Azusa-kun. Did you come up with any good ideas yet?

Azusa: ...It’s only a suggestion but...

Can’t we simply go to the Sakamaki’s to lift the misunderstanding, like how we did back then with King Zweig...?

Yui: In other words, you want to talk to Kanato-kun directly?

Azusa: Yeah. 

Yui: ( But...Considering how things went down when Kanato-kun came to Eden the other day... )

ー A flashback ensues

Kanato: You really caused us a lot of trouble. I’ve been through hell and back as a result of your actions!

It’s all your fault, Azusa! So you solve it now!

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ...

( There’s no way he’d listen. Honestly, I could even imagine the worst case possible happening... )

Azusa: I guess that won’t work after all...?

Yui: Oh no. Not necessarily, but...

Hey, Ruki-kun. What do you think...?

Ruki: Your suggestion is sensible enough. However...

...

Azusa: Ruki...?

Ruki: I am fairly certain that the Sakamaki Family is aware of our innocence. 

They are most likely putting the blame in our shoes regardless. 

Yui: No way...

Kou: Excuse me!? So they’re using us to their own advantage!? 

Yuma: Nah, I wouldn’t put that past Kanato. He’s always been like that, hasn’t he? 

Kou: ...I mean, you do have a point. 

Yuma: Either way, it doesn’t change from the fact that we’re now ‘traitors’. 

Which means both the entire human and Demon World have become our enemy.

Yui: ...Ugh...

( I know we can’t stay here forever. )

( However, if we were to live, we’d have to live with the constant fear of getting caught... )

Azusa: Why would...The Sakamaki’s do such a thing...? 

Kou: ...I mean it’s not like we were ever friends to start with. I guess they just decided to toss us aside. 

I mean, that’s just the true nature of Demons, no?

They have no issue cutting ties with the people they know or even killing them, like it’s the most normal thing ever.

Azusa: That’s...

Kou: Why are you trying to deny it? 

Don’t you remember how much trouble Kanato caused you the other day?

Azusa: That doesn’t bother me. It all turned out fine in the end after all...

Yuma: So? If Azusa’s plan won’t work, what are we gonna do next?

Did ya come up with a good plan, Ruki?

Ruki: ...

Yui: ( Ruki-kun looks conflicted... )

( But...I guess we can’t blame him for not being able to think of anything. )

( There’s no way we can get out of this situation without having to make some sort of sacrifice... )

Azusa: ...I have to go.

ー Azusa gets up

Yui: ...? Where are you going? 

Azusa: Now that we’ve been labeled as traitors...I’m sure that the Sakamaki Family will come to steal you away...

Yui: ...!

Azusa: I...don’t want to lose you so...

That’s why I can’t sit still...!

ー Azusa leaves the room

Yui: A-Azusa-kun!?

Selection

→ Go after him (❦)

Yui: ( I’ll go with him. )

( I won’t leave him to his own devices again, nor do I want to...! )

ー Yui leaves the room as well

→ Don’t go after him

Yui: ( I wonder where he’s headed...? )

( I’d love to go after him but he might see it as unnecessary pampering again... )

Kou: M-neko-chan, why not go after him if you’re worried?

Yui: B-But...

Yuma: You’re gonna get left behind if ya keep worryin’ ーー Come on!

ー Yuma gives her a light push

*Thud* 

Yui: ーー !

Monologue

I hurriedly chased after Azusa-kun,

after he had left the room. 

Almost as if he was ready (覚悟) to face his own fate,

Azusa-kun kept a calm and steady (落ち着いた) pace.

I wonder what’s going through his mind right now?

Why does he have such a strong look in his eyes...?

It left me questioning,

but I could not bring myself to ask him why.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[angels-gen]

- Promise -

I hummed as I played with the surface of the water, waiting for Normandie to arrive for tea. A shadow in the reflection showed up and I turned around to see Normandie holding up a plate of sweets; my eyes lit up at the colourful array of treats Normandie had brought for tea.

"I had asked my chefs to make you the finest desserts for our little picnic together, my love." She said as she handed me the plate, making me squeal in happiness. I popped a macaroon in my mouth, closing my eyes as I savoured the taste. "It's so good~!" I said kicking my legs in excitement, splashing a bit of water everywhere. Normandie smiled as she watched me eating the treats; giggling as she wiped off a stray crumb on my face. "Oh, to see your smiling face everyday. Makes me forget that there's even a war going on back home…" Normandie smiled sadly at the thought of home. Home… we've been stuck in New York for a while now away from home because of the war, I wonder what it's like there right now. Normandie sipped her tea, sighing as she looked out to the sea before letting out a laugh.

"You know, it's funny to think that I'd be one day having tea with my own worst enemy in the entire Atlantic." I looked over at Normandie, realising she'd been staring at me the entire time. "Y-yea, I honestly wouldn't have believed that either if someone told me that'd we'd be having tea together at the harbour." I said looking down into the waters, hoping my curls hide my red face from her. Normandie chuckled, before kissing my forehead. "It's okay, my love, it's only just me here with you." My cheeks burned at the thought of how close we were; I snapped out of my thoughts when I remembered something that I had brought out with me.

"Oh! I almost forgot to give you something." I took out a small package, handing her the messily wrapped gift. "I-i know I'm terrible at wrapping presents, but I wanted it to be a surprise. So I tried my best to wrap it up." She took the package, slowly unwrapping the gift to reveal a box. "What's this my love?" She asked as she opened it; she gasped, tears filling her eyes as she took out the earrings I'd made for her. "Oh Mary, my love this is beautiful!" I beamed up at her, as she put the earrings on, taking out her hand held mirror that she always brought around with her; she's so vain even if she denied it. "I love it so much! Where did you get these?" I looked away shyly, before replying. "A-actually I made them, l-last night to be honest…" Normandie smiled, hugging me tightly. "Oh, now I feel ashamed of my own gift to you." I looked up at her, curious as to what she means. She reached into her pocket, taking out a black necklace box and handing it out to me. "For you, my love." I took it, slowly feeling the black velvet casing before opening it to reveal a pearl necklace with a ruby pendant surrounded by little diamonds; I gasped, smiling as I took it out the casing. "It's beautiful~ thank you, Normandie!" She smiled, brushing the stray curls away from my face before helping me put the necklace on. She gave me her mirror, letting me look at the necklace on me. "It's so beautiful…"I said quietly, Normandie kissed my temple. "Not as beautiful as you are my love~" she said making me giggle in response; I snuggled up to her, breathing in her perfume.

"I wish we could stay like this forever…" Normandie looked down at me, "oh? Why do you say that my love?" I looked away, before I decided to lay down on her lap. "Because once the war ends, we're gonna be made to race eachother again…" she chuckled, brushing my hair and leaning down to kiss my forehead. "Even if we do, I'd still let you win anyways. And maybe once we retire, we can go live by the sea. Just you and me." I looked up at Normandie, feeling hopeful about having a future together. "Really…?" I asked, she chuckled as she played with my hair, twisting my curls around her fingers. "Really. I promise, my love." I smiled up at her as I let out a sigh of relief; Normandie continued playing with my hair, slowly lulling me to sleep on her lap.

It's such a beautiful memory…

It was a beautiful memory…

Our last memory…

~

Smoke filled the sky as I watched Normandie's ship on fire, the heat of the flames could be felt for miles. I ran over, trying to check on Normandie; but I was too far away to get to her on time. I wanted to get to her, I wanted to get her out of there, I wanted to know that she's okay.

"NORMANDIE!!!" I yelled, as I picked up the pace. My sister ran after me, trying to keep up alongside Aquitania. "NORMANDIE!!!" I was stopped by someone, a firefighter perhaps. "NORMANDIEEE!!! I called out again frantically, trying to get past; but I was unfortunately blocked and prevented from going any closer to the flames. I watched helplessly as Normandie's ship burned in front of me, not knowing if she's okay or not. I cried, I cried thinking she's not gonna make it. Before I heard yelling coming from the crowd, before a man emerged. "Let me in! I know that ship well! Let me help! I created her! I designed her! Please! Just let me through!" But the man was denied any access to her like I was. It was her creator, Normandie's creator was here. He watched in distress as Normandie went up in flames.

I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down, wailing. Crying my heart out for Normandie to be okay. I felt Elizabeth pull me into a hug, stroking my hair to try soothe me. Aquitania knelt down, trying her best to console me. But I cried harder, knowing that our promise had been broken. Though unwillingly, it was still broken. I clutched the pearl necklace Normandie had given me a while ago as I wailed; I must've gripped the pearls to hard because the next thing I knew was the pearls being scattered around the floor. I cried harder, curling up into a ball, wishing for this nightmare to end.

A gentle hand was placed on my shoulder, I looked up to see Normandie."N-normandie…?" I said in disbelief. "I'm sorry, my love. I made you worry about me, I should've told you I was going out to get something." She said smiling, as she held me in her arms; I cried and buried myself into her as she stroked my hair gently, making me fall asleep in her embrace.

~

QE's P.o.V

We watched in confusion as Île de France successfully made Mary quieten down. "Normandie?" We all said in confusion, as we looked at eachother. We then looked over at Normandie's ship; the fire slowly dying down, and from the smoke emerged two men carrying out the charred remains of Normandie off of her ship.

~

A little break from the Mesh AU~

[eldritch-nightmare]

you seem like the type of person whos tried making a creepypasta before this isn't an insult or anything by the way thats just the vibe i get from you

thank you??

you would be correct. i did try writing a creepypasta, way back when i was 12 years old. i didn't. never finished her bc i utterly despised writing back then. it was like... the bane of my existence. my worst enemy.

this anon is now going to provide top-secret v lore bc memories flooded my brain when i saw it so!! pretend there's nostalgic piano music playing magically in the air as i clear my throat.

ahem.

if you knew me from 2014 to roughly 2017 or 2018 (which i certainly hope you do not) then you already know this but i used to rp in this fandom. heavily. on quotev dot com. i still do rp, though not for creepypasta anymore because i lost contact with the people i used to rp with. i do however like making random accounts on q bc i made a jeff the killer account and i also plan on making a bloody painter one and also perchance maybe a nina one bc i have no sense of self control.

so, fun fact, all the creepypasta roleplays i did is what honestly made me get into writing but anyways.

i typically just roleplayed as the creepypastas since that's what everyone else did, y'know? original characters and self-inserts were looked down upon at the time because people thought it was 'cringe' and because i desperately wanted to be cool and accepted, i never really. roleplayed as my ocs. not that i had any fleshed out enough to rp as but. we'll get to that in a moment.

so, the three creepypastas that i roleplayed as exclusively, never once rping as any other because my mind latched onto them and refused to fucking let go, was homicidal liu, and both jane the killers. but mostly jane arkensaw. i love arkensaw so much it makes me look like a fool, honestly, and the way that i write her today is still heavily influenced by how i used to write her when i would roleplay. i never wanted to stop roleplaying for creepypasta because they are so near and dear to my heart but a lot of stuff was going on at the time and my friends at the time had moved on from the fandom so i just... stopped.

now, on the topic of ocs. i never had a fully fleshed out creepypasta oc. i always found it difficult to make one?? because it felt like there were a bunch of guidelines on how to properly make an oc so the oc wasn't 'cringe' or whatever and i found the whole thing to be tedious and annoying so i just never properly made an oc. i would come up with concepts, and would even draw some out every now and then but i threw all those drawings out.

i was, and still am, however, a big fucking fan of self-inserts. i only ever rped as a self-insert with one person bc they were the only person i knew that was chill with it and self-shipping and fucking hell it was the best rp i have ever done in my entire writing career nothing has ever compared to it man. the way we did it was we would control our two characters, our self-inserts, and then i would control the character they wanted to be shipped with and they would control the character i wanted to be shipped with. you... you can guess who that was i don't have to tell you, you already know. and we would make our self-inserts friends and have them interact and then they would meet the two creepypastas they were gonna get shipped with and it would slowly branch off so they'd have their own things going on so it was like two separate stories that still connected, and we would discuss what to do next in the rp in a separate message and.

god. it was one of the best moments of my life, excitedly sitting there and continuously checking my notifs, waiting to see a notification telling me they replied to our rp. i miss it, truly. both roleplaying with a friend and roleplaying as a self-insert. i never understood why self-shipping was frowned upon back then, because it was probably the most fun and cathartic thing i've ever done tbh.

thankfully, i've grown and no longer feel the need to please people so i happily and proudly ship myself with characters <3

anyways this got way off track to the anon uh, sorry. but!! special v lore!! yippee!! the more you know, i guess.

[dream-trail-rpg]

Genuine questions, what are some struggles you guys have had with making a game? What are things you’ve enjoyed? And what are some advice you would give for someone trying to make their own game?

I hope to make a game of my own one day, and I’ve been meaning to ask! It was you guys that gave me hope to try and achieve that goal again, so I felt asking you guys may be a good idea!

(Also, I hope things are going well! Have a nice day!)

Howdy! Sock here!

This is going to be a bit of a long answer, so I'll hide it under the cut:

It means so much to hear that we helped as some sort of motivation towards working on your own game,,, My advice in that department is to just GO FOR IT! See what happens! See what you can manage! That's how Dream Trail got started. If you have an idea that you really want to make, just take the plunge. Push yourself and rip off that bandaid! If you don't make the choice, you may miss out on a really interesting, exciting, and life-changing future path. Just don't take on more than you can chew. Try and stay around your skill level, but if you have bigger dreams then it's not a bad idea to start learning some new skills. Be ambitious, just not too much! Sometimes, ambition can outweigh your capabilities. Try not to overfill your game and include what's NECESSARY. Sometimes you have to make unfortunate cuts, but it's important to do what benefits your game best.

As a team, we've definitely had our fair share of struggles. There will be disagreements and road-blocks that take awhile to climb over. Coding has definitely been our worst enemy, haha. But it's important to keep going. Don't let anything stop you!

Here's a message from Chip/Mod Fay, I think they've got a better way of putting this all on one plate, similarly to what I explained:

"Don't bite off more than you can chew- especially if you're a solo dev, make sure what you're making is manageable. Try to make something that focuses more on your skillset! If you're an artist, make something focused on visuals. Writer, make a story-based game. Etc etc. Of course branching out and learning new things is good! But for a first game, try and cater to your skills, unless you wanna get burnt out- Take it from someone who Didn't Do That, starting slow is the way to go. Make sure to keep things organized, otherwise things can get complicated and messy fast. It's okay to ask for help from others in areas you're less experienced in. And if you're ever realizing you're not having fun- it's always okay to take breaks! Don't overwork yourself, it ain't healthy. Trust me- The most important thing is having fun! And if that requires a few breaks, whether they be days, weeks, months, or even years long, if that what's best for you, don't feel bad about it!"

No matter the struggles, it's always worth it. We all enjoy working on Dream Trail so much, we've shared so many laughs this past year. And nothing will ever beat the satisfaction and excitement of finally releasing our demo a couple months ago. Coming up with ideas and writing dialogue and thinking about character designs, it's an amazing process that I couldn't be happier to share with my friends.

I hope that you can make the game you want to make! I'm so honoured that our game has given you a little bit of hope for your own projects! I BELIEVE IN YOU!! No matter who you are, if you make something, there will ALWAYS be someone who loves your content. Show the world what you've got!

We're still slowly getting off of our break from after the demo's release. We've starting up again, but we're not fully back on track yet, so we have nothing to write in any dev-logs. We hope to have something new for all of you soon! Thanks again for your support, and I'd honestly love some more genuine asks like this. I love answering questions!