#I look back at my old sims and cringe like they were not good…???

[hell-dusk]

2022 | 2024

[nani-nonny]

Reading ch 8, not going pass the title and am IMMEDIATELY smiling like a goofy, giddy idiot before trying to calm down and focus on reading!!

When i read that DMD and LCD were close to each other i for seconds forgot that " Achilles " is LCD and thought it was WDS and wondered 'hmm, what's wrong?' Until i finally remembered it's LCD and sucked air thinking 'WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE?!? 6 FEETS FOR QUARANTINE!!'. Also DMD running away and - forcefully(?) - guiding everyone somewhere is like... A bit childish, bruh.

The fact the 4 can set up camp with no words or even glance at each other is like.. 👌🏻✨ please i need my IRL people do that.

Seeing that reunion start talking first i was thinking 'Of course he getting talk first! Old man gotta see people's tea!!'. And he asked about his name, my mind went 'oh boy! Oh boy! Come on buddy, don't show them you're 100% mama's boy, k?'.

Tho i admits i loved how big mama in reunion's time had retired.. Wonder if she's back with Splinter... And wonder if Someone took her place, maybe Donnie?

The moment he mentions ✨ After War ✨ and how everyone reacts to him ESPECIALLY LCD is just makes me go 'Aww! He's admiring him!🥺', it made my heart melt, like how kids see someone who did greater things and be like them?!

But the moment he 'bit' his tongue i was like WOW!!

Bro, the two - DMD & Reunion - are deflecting the questions as if they're playing Tennis!

WDS just result to begging is so me, feeling so done and don't want to be teased anymore and just wants straight answer. Reunion begin speechless made me think 'That's what you get for trying to sip other people's tea!!' But i liked how he used a dating sim game to describe the situation.

Now my brain went 'wait he lost everything? How? He won, his brothers are alive, the city is safe... Does he mean his childhood??'. So back to DMD giving out a short summary was good but LCD is a bit cringed or disgusted and i don't blame him! I don't think he can tell the truth but would he lies about his nickname's story??

AND DAMN IT WDS EXPOSED HIM!! Wonder what the ghosty brothers would say!!!😂 and when Reunion said 'father issues on top of mother issues?' I just laughed xD AND THE MIDDLE FINGER MAKES IT BETTER!!😂😂😂 their shenanigans is soo good! I live for this!! AND WDS ASKED FOR HIS AGE AGAHAHAHA!!!!😂😂😂

When WDS whispered 'I know' i was certain he'll gonna have to tell them about his *ahem* ear scratching! Lol.

But this chapter left me EVEN MORE EXCITED 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

This squad of peepaws is honestly bringing out the childishness that the peepaws have hidden deep behind the angst and Resistance Leader facade /j

And Reunion being a chismoso gives me *life* he has to know everyone’s business hahah!

In his timeline, Big Mama is like the granny that have those little porcelain dollies that are encased in the glass cabinets except it’s artifacts she hoarded from her big time boss era. She’s working with prosthetic legs trying to simply vibe in the weak society the turtles are trying to rebuild.

The memes!!! <333333

Old Timer is being looked up to for a brief second and it makes me happy :)))

But yes, Reunion has everything. He won the war and got his brothers back thanks to the past turtles resetting his timeline, but that doesn’t erase the fact that he had to lose everything in order to get it back. So he definitely has that lingering in the back of his mind that he often brings up in therapy. He lost the war once, and he’s glad he was able to beat it the second time around, hence his “reset”. (In simpler terms, the movie happened, but thanks to past turtles, they were able to turn back time and restart on a better note. Sadly, he and the future turtles remember dying.)

Anyways, we’ll have to see what LCD shares about his story after WDS’s turn hahah! And it should be WDS’s turn on the second night of their journey to saving the original Leo! (Next chapter)

[syrinq]

sy's fun little long this 'n thats about littlest pet shop because she saw One Post and now it's all she can think about so she's got to postpone bojack s4e1 and it's also a good opportunity to just nerd out about old bobblehead animals

SEE?

anyway. ancient blue bird bobblehead lps moment because that was highly likely the first lps i ever got that got me into a fucking craze for these bitches from approximately 6-14yo

one of the first songs i discovered on The Famed Box Windows XP Computer was beyoncé's halo on youtube and it was thanks to a littlest pet shop amv

for some reason it was just accepted that miniature caterpillars in the lpsverse were like pet dogs or cats to the actual animals. even though it'd have made more sense for them to be babies to butterflies

this? this is a dog.

back when youtube (or some 3rd party) had Old Editing Software, people would show off their lps collections by making a geometry hell powerpoint presentation, royalty free music included, like this. this was the absolute shit and objectively the most perfect way to show off your collection in the 2000s. no exceptions. it's got the shitty dreamscape 009 amv vibe to it and i love it

the first taste of lps videos i got was sophiegtv's summer camp. the original one. in which some kids go to summer camp and get mauled and killed by a ginormous dinosaur in the forest that's made out of empty toilet paper rolls. or alternatively investigation of murders in lps csi. or high school drama and bloody stabbings in lps popular. sophiegtv was the pinnacle of this shit in 2009-2011 and will probably remain an lps legend for eternity. to me at least :)

alongside sophiegtv there were others that i enjoyed like elizalps, who'd make series and amvs and whatever lps related. like a haunted house video. or a hair salon video that i can't fucking find anymore. or a lps vip video where a cat tells a dog to kill themselves somewhere else. OH FUCK AND LPSLOVER WITH STRANGE HAPPENINGS. THAT WAS THE SHIT. and that's it because i literally don't remember anyone else because my memory is also absolute dog shit <3

i found it so fucking cool when people would make their own little props for their littlest pet shop videos. so little old me would make a house out of shitty carton for them. cut out a little rectangle and fold it in half, draw some shitty squares on it and bam you've just given an lps animal the ability to tweet useless garbage on a laptop.

the only time wikihow got their guide 100% accurate and totally right

i remember getting a closet with glass doors so i could organise and showcase my lps in it one by one by species. it was like a professional collection so i could look at them in the windows and go :) smile time! and also so they wouldn't dust off and die in the darkness of a closed box. now i'm an adult and i want a glass showcase like this for my gundams. thanks lps for teaching me this sick life trick when i was 9

one time i poured a bath for my lps toys and threw them in it so they'd have a pool party. big mistake because the mechanism that keeps their head & body together would get disgusting residue on it. and it'd make the heads bobble less. the result is a small child decapitating toy animals to clean this residue and the leftover water sloshing in their heads. anatomy below so no one else has to do such monstrous things ever again

becoming a teen and deciding 'the shit i liked as a kid is cringe now' was the worst time of my life because i sold about ~70% of my collection for ~30 bucks at a fucking flea market. to get funds for sims 4. i didn't even play sims 4 when i got it. the first time i touched it was in 2017. why did i do that. THIS IS THE TRIGGER FOR MY UNCOMMON UNSETTLING DREAMS ABOUT GOING TO THE TOY STORE, AND FINDING AN EXTREMELY LITTLE, OR NO LPS SECTION AT ALL, YOU FUCKING DUMB ASS

the littlest pet shop biggest house was like THE. fucking shit. you had this and you had every bitch playing at your house with this playset. you were like the lps god. one thing i particularly loved about this, was the satisfying feeling and sound of opening and closing the green door. the click. loved that door. just like the old minecraft door sound. (a short in-bracket realisation that the occurrence of me liking a particular door click noise has happened twice in my life, and for that i get two pennies)

you got bitches with this bad boy

speaking about noises. the bobbling head noise and the tip tapping of lps on particular surfaces like the wooden floor? that was fucking lit and was basically an 8yo's girl's sound therapy asmr or whatever. coming home with a new package and shredding it the fuck open and immediately bobbling the head like you're a scientist researching the bobbliness of each pet

a small section shoutout here about going to the toy store and running to the lps section and the lps section only because that was like. the only toy i cared about as a kid. the smell of the toy store hitting your nostrils. it was like smelling food and being hungry

giving particular lps to me was a mistake, especially if they had fuzzy fur, extremely frail tails or hair on their head. because 1) fuzzy coats would be scratched off by me like they were a skin disease. even though fuzzy coats were cool. why. 2) frail tails would get broken off either by accident or on purpose, like i was mutilating these poor animals to my horrible human standards like some breeders out there. 3) hair would get snipped off. so they'd have stumpy hair. why? fuck if i know

this? if you looked like this in 2008. god help your tail, for you're about to get mutilated and get a butt stump

building on the previous point, some lps also got 'fashion makeovers' by receiving pen markings or a glittery glossy nail polish coat because. i don't even know. why did i do that actually. is it because i had a need to brush the hair of a barbie and didn't have a barbie at the time. who knows! all i know is that putting barbie cowboy shoes on your fingers and prancing around with them like your hand's a fashion model was also the shit to do as a kid (this behaviour was later replaced by placing bugles and acting like they're sharp evil witch nails)

in what was apparently gen 2, hasbro started putting lps in little boxes because they had to categorise and put labels on them like ''cuddliest'' and ''cutest'' (uh oh syrinq's entering dangerous wording territory). anyway here's my tier list

at some point hasbro pulled a webkinz and also had plushies made with a code for a virtual world. their first attempt was lps vips and i was so overjoyed that lps were now in soft cuddly plushie form because the one other thing i loved collecting were plushies. when that discontinued they tried again with lpso (lps online). then that ALSO discontinued because for some fucking cursed reason online pet games like this and pet party, and happy petz, and kawaii pet megu, and fish with attitude and whatever fuck else existed, got mother fucking evaporated at some point. fuck you. anyway meet my pink cat lps whose name was little candy in dutch (snoepje)

the littlest pet shop pc game was fucking life changing. it was like the lps webkinz thing before the webkinz thing came out. dressing up your little animals. running around as your little animals. putting them on a swing and playing minigames it was so fucking awesome

this? peak gaming

throughout the years hasbro made some design changes. some for safety hazards, like replacing the foot magnet by a hole, which i was actually fine with. eventually. what i wasn't fine with and still think is bullshit to this day *cracks knuckles* (ohh! a list within a list!)

1. changing the pink magnet to be regular iron. production costs i guess but fuck you the pink magnet with the little paw on it was the fucking shit

2. removing the 'eye' part of the model and making them flat paintings instead. who the hell decided this. i'm coming to fucking get you and murder you. luckily this was a temporary thing for some lps things back in the day and soon enough the eyes were back on the model :)

3. (oh yeah it's still continuing!) BLYTHE. THE FUCKING WENCH. I NEVER LIKED THAT GIRL AND I NEVER WILL. it's like the person you hate for no reason other than you just do. blythe was this. it's about animals living their sillay little lives you don't get to put them on a leash. slut.

4. whatever the lps blythe tv show was. this was the horrible start of the lps rebrand and I Was Not A Fan And I Never Will Be. Fuck Blythe And Fuck You Hasbro

5. whatever remodeling shit they did to littlest pet shop in i don't fucking know 2020. the bobble head feature removed. the heads made even bigger in comparison to the bodies. yassifying the lps but in the most horrible way ever.

like whoever did this i'm coming to fucking get you

6. whoever changed the logo. i'm also coming to fucking get you. horrible fucking horrendous monster. it could've been way worse but still. i'm still coming to fucking GET YOU

7. the wretched LPS watermark

8. what in the fuck were these plush attempts before they released the 10 million times better lps vips?

has he seen the devil? is he afraid of him?

anyway back to regular trivia time now because my brain's fuels have been emptied out after typing this for.................. uh...... maybe close to 3 hours. how the fuck has it been 3 hours

the globe packages were the worst to open because you actually couldn't shred them open with your bare hands and had to get scissors for these cunts

sleddin' fun? where the fuck is my shreddin' fun hasbro?

also during this post i ctrl+z'd several times resulting in tumblr absolutely killing the entire post so i had to rewrite it like 4 times. because i'm a dumbass and kept forgetting that ctrl+z would kill the entire post on tumblr only. anyway before this i shortly learned that generation 6, the arguably ''better new'' lps remodeling, was from fucking 2017. what the hell. anyway hasbro is remaking lps for 2024 and i'll be fucking getting them and burning down their HQ if they redo it like generation 4-6. bobblehead supremacy

also there were special edition littlest pet shops that. i don't know. were released with special things at cons or whatever. like the platypus below. living in holland was a fucking curse in the 2000s-2010s because back then nobody fucking knew what a holland was. let alone the netherlands because it sounds like an alternative version of hell. so yeah little old me had to order these online like i was a business kid cutting sick deals

similar to dedicated beanie baby fans, littlest pet shop also had a fan-made website made with a database of all teh animals XD. thank god this exists because i'm too lazy at the moment to find my box with the remaining ~30% of my lps collection

do you have penicillium digitatum? no? you're kidding right? you're just being a fungi right now?

also. custom lps were a thing. the most epic ones were i don't know sold for hundreds on ebay. anyway the only custom lps one i got is a cheap ass deadpool cat one because deadpool is funny and about the only funny marvel character left in the mcu

end post. go fuck some bitches now

[sanssouci-sims]

Meet the Goths!! 🖤

Yes, that’s Bella, and... a dead Mortimer.

So yeaaaaaaah, Mort’s dead, along with like, a handful of my other townies (mentioned in a previous post of mine). But Bella doesn’t mind, because with the power of Teleport Any Sim communicating with the dead (because come on, her last name is Goth), I imagine she can just call forth his spirit and interact with him like the good old days. However, as he seems to no longer recognize her as his wife (although she does still consider him a “romantic interest”), it’s up to Bella to build their relationship back up so she can help him remember everything. Hopefully, he’ll be added to their household in the future!!

As for their kids, here’s what’s been up with them:

Here comes Cassandra now! She’s just come back from work as a manual laborer... despite having the “lazy” trait, no joke. She used to be an adult, but I’ve aged her down to a young adult, and... wait, who are those other people??

Yeah, just like Katrina Caliente and the Landgraabs from my cursed Caliente-Landgraab family (see link above), Bella and Mortimer got busy.

The girl in the green sweater is Cassandra’s younger sister, Larissa! She’s seen here with their other sister, Isabel. They’re both young adults like Cass, but they were just kids when they moved with their older sister to this new place (mostly because their parents were having way too many kids back at Ophelia Villa, their original home).  The infants are actually Larissa’s adopted daughters (yes, yet another sim who can’t stop having/adopting kids...)! The one with the green outfit being held by Isabel is named Josephine, and the one with the cute buns looking sad is Rebecca. I imagine Isabel likes playing auntie and enjoys helping her sister take care of her babies, considering she intentionally, mind you has her hands full. Also, both babies seem to really struggle with being put down. They literally cry the second they’re on the ground and complain like Karens over how DARE their adoptive mothers not carry them anymore. 😤

Isabel has an adopted daughter of her own named Kristyn.

Oh, and did I mention she’s ass at cooking!?

And I’ve already talked about her in my previous post about the Caliente-Landgraab family, but newborn Fernanda - the youngest member of this household - is Cassandra’s daughter with Gideon Landgraab (a non-canonical townie). 

Now then, onto Cass’s little brother, Alexander-

Actually, the less said about him, the better... *cringes* He hasn’t went and fathered any kids yet though, so I guess that’s the only good thing he’s got going for him.

Let’s head back to Ophelia Villa for a second, because Bella has some kids of her own living with her (probably to fill the voids that Cassandra and Alexander - and by extension Mortimer - left behind)!

From left to right, we have Jena, Dominik (with the curly black hair and bangs being blocked with the flower), Aron (black sweater), Jody (in the front with the brown hair facing away from us), and Kasey (grey shirt)! Kasey’s age meter bar thingy is actually full and glowing, so it seems like he will become a teenager soon!! Dominik, Aron, and Kasey were actually fathered by Mortimer (with Bella before he kicked the bucket) while Jena and Jody were adopted by Bella after he died.

Finally, we have these two, who Bella also had with Mortimer before he died (also I haven’t put them anywhere in my world though because honestly I’m lazy and I literally don’t even care about them lmao). On the left with the bad hairdo is Jaiden while the guy on the right is Tim. Honestly, I think in hindsight it’s a good thing they’re “currently not in world” because they’re hot messes; Jaiden’s an evil kleptomaniac while Tim is lazy and hates children (now that I think about it, Jaiden was probably the first to move out while Tim quickly followed him because his siblings are children 😂). 

So overall, my Goth family isn’t as cursed as my Caliente-Landgraab dynasty, but they’re still kinda wildin. Let’s just hope Bella can bring ghost Mortimer back into her life.

[erikageiger]

I hope you all had a good Valentine’s Day! ...or how I celebrate it, Shipper’s Day!

...so I apparently deleted my first fanfic during a late-night cringe moment and forgot about it. Oh well, it happens. I hope it won’t be the same for this one because I have some art for it too! ...I would share it but I wanted to post something on Valentines Day that’s actually complete. And this short and sweet thing is complete. I’ll reblog this with the art when it’s done.

So let’s get on with it!

“Take It Easy” (A Sim Settlements 2 fanfiction)

Spoiler for chapter 2 ending. Romance, F!SoSu X Jake Evans. Nothing naughty or graphic, just kisses and cuddles and wholesome family feels.

The war against the Gunners was over. The Commonwealth could finally adapt to the many changes in peace. No one remembered it being this safe before. Not only was there dozens of prospering settlements. Not only had the raider gangs and legendary beasts been eradicated, along with the majority of ferals and mutants. Not only was the Institute; the Commonwealth's boogeyman; the mysterious life-long persecutor, defeated.

The Gunners, the mercenary group that threatened to take over and make it their empire. Not only were they defeated once, but twice. The latter being the biggest battle; the war for the Commonwealth. The settlers had the numbers, firepower, leadership and tactics to stay confident, but many knew they might die for their freedom. And some did.

The General of the Minutemen, Ilene Ward, stayed loyal to her people throughout the war, protecting as many as she could. While she normally didn't enjoy using power armor, it was the best way to protect the wounded. And just when she thought her luck was about to run out, the suit saved her from the enemy's last deadly attack.

Some days later, when it was all over and the people of the Commonwealth were busy recovering, Ilene had just recovered from surgery. She had lost half of her left leg and was in line for a prosthetic, a group of grateful engineers dedicated to the project.

This particular evening, she was in the studio when a prototype was finished and she insisted to try it on. Strapping it on and walking around a bit, it seemed fine until it suddenly hurt and she stumbled forward. Jake caught her and helped her sit back down on a table, Curie removing the prosthetic to examine the stump for any possible damage.

"Thought so, it hasn't healed enough yet," Jake commented, "Anyway, those few steps seemed to be well balanced."

"Good, I got the right height then," an engineer sighed in relief.

"The sutures appear to be intact, I detect no severe damage," Curie reported as she wrapped the stump up again, "But no more testing prosthetics for a few days."

"Don't worry, I won't, just got a little too excited. Thanks, Curie," Ilene looked at her friend's handiwork, a little ashamed.

"It pains me to see you like this, madame," Curie sighed, "I hope we will some day be able to grow a synthetic leg for you. ...not that I have any doubt in the engineers! I am sure they are capable of constructing an excellent prosthetic, it's just..."

"No prosthetic is better than the flesh and blood human limb," the engineer finished for her, "It's okay, miss Curie, I think so too. The closest thing I can get is probably a gen 2 synth leg, make it look and act like the real deal. And - not saying I doubt the doctors and scientists but - it might take so long to develop, I doubt miss Ward will get much use out of a good synthetic leg."

Curie looked at the engineer, puzzled, "Uhm... I am not sure what you mean, monsieur."

"He means I'll be old and crippled by the time you manage to grow a synthetic leg for me," Ilene explained.

"Oh, well, on the contrary, it is more likely to only take-" she was interrupted by a signal coming from the PA system, the voice reminding all doctors about a meeting that was about to start. "Oh, already? I must bid you farewell, my friends."

"Hmm, yeah, and I must go too. This talk about synthetic legs gave me an idea... I'm going back to the drawing board!" the engineer declared excitedly and left the room.

Now alone in the old news room, Jake and Ilene felt somewhat relieved. It had been a while since they were alone like this. While Jake tried to act casual by getting another cup of coffee, Ilene couldn't do much from where she sat, taking that moment of silence to study her partner. He seemed distracted, nervous even, like he didn't like the awkward silence. Well, that had to be fixed.

"Got a lot on your mind, huh?" she asked with a friendly smile.

Looking at her, he glanced back at the table to put down his cup, "Y-yeah, eh... heh, still can't believe I finally got Laura back... seeing her and Shaun tinker on that giddyup buttercup is quite the sight," he chuckled.

"Yeah... I wonder, if they will repair it or make something else with the parts," she chuckled, "Either way, it's great to see them get along."

Glancing around the room, she saw the Comm Array and the consoles surrounding it, the desks, the somewhat clean floors. She could hear the bustling sounds of HQ on the other side of the closed doors. She looked back at the history of this place, the weeks they spent rebuilding, the repairs. The conversations she's had in this room.

Looking back at him, she noticed how he seemed a bit upset, taking deep breaths to fight tears. "What's wrong?"

Rubbing his eyes and clearing his throat, "It's nothing, just... I'm still a bit shook up about the fact that... we almost lost you. I don't know what I would've done, had you not survived..."

"...yeah, it was pretty foolish of me to keep fighting," she tried lightening up the mood while making sure to sound empathetic. It was a scary thought to her too. She was rather exhausted by the end of the battle, but couldn't leave her soldiers on the battlefield. Such is the curse of having such a bleeding heart. "But it's okay, Jake, just take a deep breath and focus on the present. I'm here. Alive and safe. And I'm done fighting for quite some time now, heh. I can finally take it easy," she chuckled, feeling tears building up.

Jake stepped forward to wrap his arms around her, holding tight to be comforted by her presence and beating heart. Hugging him back, she repeated "I can finally take it easy..."

Holding each other for a moment, Ilene remembered the conversation they had in this room some weeks ago, about what could happen when things had calmed down a bit. Thinking about their kids, how they were already like a happy family. She felt so happy. So safe in his arms. They only hugged once before, and she would love to hug him more. To be with him and to have fun together. Maybe take him and the kids to Starlight Drive-In and see a few shows at the theater, buy some comics and space artifacts, watch something on the big screen. Or maybe...

Giggling at the idea, she pulled away to ask, "So how about we take some time off and check out Nuka-World? They say it's an unforgettable vacation experience..."

Amused, he shook his head and placed his hands down on the table, "Darlin', not sure how you did it back in your day, but nowadays, taking it easy means to stay put. Not travel to someplace new."

"Yeah, you're right..." smiling warmly at him, she closed her eyes and leaned forward till their foreheads met, her right hand finding its way to his cheek. "And there's no place I'd rather be than here. With you, partner." She felt how he held his breath and his cheek warm up. Opening her eyes again, she met his looking back at her, "So... you free this evening?"

Breathing out a chuckle, his right hand went up to her back and pulled her closer, taking her by surprise, "I'm free right now."

"Oh..." she reacted with a smile.

Closing the gap, they shared their first kiss. Being so happy to finally love someone again, they had no shame in making it long and passionate. Jake pushing her back a bit and Ilene playing a little with his hair, then wrap her arms around his neck to be even closer to him. It was only when they ended up a little breathless that they pulled away a little.

After a few breaths, Ilene decided to say the words she had waited a long time to say, "I love you, Jake."

Leaning back a bit for balance, he wrapped his other arm around her, "I love you too, Ilene. ...my darlin'."

With a little chuckle, they shared another sweet kiss but were suddenly interrupted when they heard the door glide open and two young ones loudly gasped. Turning to the door, they saw Shaun and Laura looking at them with shocked expressions.

"Oh... hey kids! ...already done with your project, huh?" Jake nervously asked, hoping their reactions wouldn't be bad.

"Mom, is Jake my dad now?" Shaun asked, amazed.

"Does this mean Shaun is now my brother?" Laura asked, excited.

Ilene giggled and leaned back, "Maybe... What do you think, Hun?"

Relieved and happy, he chuckled and turned to the kids again, "Yeah, we're one big happy family."

[tsunchani]

Hot Chocolate

❃ pairing: sim jake x fem!reader (mostly reader’s little sister)

❃ genre: super fluff!

❃ wc: 917

❃ pritty notes: my 1st scenarios, sorry if there are wrong or mistaken words! sorry if it is not good enough. also, picture is not mine ^^

❃  summary: it is day 10 in December, and your little sister won’t stop snatches your boyfriend from you.

“jakey.”

The black hair man groaned slowly, the dream he dreamt was now fully gone, feeling his pyjamas being tugged by someone and his name being called. he changed his sleep position to a new one beside you on the bed as the little girl whined.

“what do you need, lils?” his voice hoarse, facing your little sister direction still not opened his eyes. taking his times to exercising his brain.

“I want to drink hot chocolate.”

When your little sister wanted a hot chocolate, Jake could not deny it. She liked hot chocolate very much on Christmas or not, she still wanted him to make hot chocolate for her. She said that when Jake made the hot chocolate is even better than you. opening his eyes, your little sister pleaded eyes made him soft. Jake nodded his head, stretching his body all out first before he sat up on the side of the bed.

He glanced to the clock wall and slightly groaned, face on his hands wiping his tired eyes.

05:45 a.m.

‘still love you, Lils’ he mumbled

Before he stood up, looking back to your sleeping figure, laying on your stomach with face backing him. He handing his hand to Lily, her tiny little hands held his hand soon they walked outside to the open bedroom door.

“here you go, little miss.” Jake put Lily’s favourite red cup in front of her, usually she quickly drinks it but she just stared the hot chocolate with the smoke lingering to the air.

‘maybe it I still hot’ he thought.

Pulling out the dining chair as its scratching sound cringed him finally he sat down facing your little sister. The shocking one was Lily suddenly stood up on the dining chair as Jake stared at her what she’s gonna do. Lily took Jake’s hand from the table, Jake obeyed her, putting his hand on his knee. Soon she stepped her foot on Jake’s knees, Jake able to catch her hand balancing her before she could fall as she stepped other foot on his knees and sat down on his lap.

“you can just only tell me what you want to dot, Lils.” Lily ignored him, Jake getting used when her priority right now was hot chocolate.

Holding her tiny cup from the table, drinking slowly as her back leaned to Jake’s chest. Not even 1 minute, she gave the empty cup to Jake. Jake innocently took it and slightly glanced inside the cup. Jake nodded knowingly that she had already done it.

“you would not give to me aren’t ya?”

“no. you made it for me so it is officially mine only.” She answered, jake stared at her blankly and slightly nodded his head. She’s kinda mature right noe, only a 5-year-old kid.

“right.” Putting the tiny cup on the table, looking at her face. only seeing whipped cream and chocolate on her lips.

“you little greedy girl, come here.” He wiped the whipped cream with his index finger, he wiped it again with the tissue paper, crumbling the paper and looking at Lily. She slightly yawned, hands on the air, eyes slightly closed trying to open them up. Jake patted her head, slightly caressing it.

“you still tired little one?” his arms on the air as she struggled positioning herself for facing him. As she settled herself up more comfortable, she leaned on him huffing for slightly. he positioned himself down on the chair, head on the head chair as he closed his eyes.

Not wanting to fall asleep on the hard cold wooden chair, he finally straightened up his body, one hand held Lily’s body the other one took the cup and the dirty tissue. Standing up slowly with his cold feet brought him to the sink and hand to the trash can lastly. He balanced himself up and Lily before his mind commanded him to go to the living room.

Huffing and sitting down on the warm sofa, fire crackled in the living room warmed their both bodies. he laid down without waking up her, stopped when she stirred a minute but slightly let go a relieved sighed that she only pushing herself deeper on jake’s chest to get some warm, he was now fully laid down on the soft sofa. His hand on his head trying to search a soft blanket on the sofa arm up his head to get Lily more warmed up than usual. He spread out the blanket on Lily’s body, covering her until her body stopped trembled.

Quiet. Warm. Sleepy.

It was now all his needs right now. He slowly closed his eyes, slowly into his slumber.

“Lils. Jake?” you called them both from the stairs, the air was filled with hot chocolate scent as you knew the answer. Strangely, there was no sound. You shivered over the cold winter air, went to the kitchen but there were none. You slightly panic but relieved hearing fire crackling, you dumbed yourself and turned around to walk to the living room.

Scenting the warm and jasmine patchouli warmed your nose and skin, tightening your jacket and crossing your hands over your chest and seeing the view in front of you. it warmed you even more with Jake mouth hanging opened and soft snores came out from his mouth, above him was Lily hugging him like he was her boyfriend. Thinking about something that shook your head and chuckled a bit. Hand over your mouth holding your laughter.

‘Jake is all yours until Christmas, Lils.’

[imaginethatneathuh]

Brother P2: Shadow Moon - American Gods

Platonic relationship, male!reader, gn!reader, TB being himself.

CW: Smoking and swearing. Mentions of death, spirits, and betrayal.

Word count:  2,719

I’m still learning how to do this, please be patient.

“Masterlist”

•

“Well, hello there,” the person said. “Who the fuck are you?”

You looked at him, blankly, and groaned, regretting everything.

Losing your voice, you pulled out your pen and paper and wrote. “An idiot. And you’re a god. What about it?”

The boy scoffed and his tongue ran across his top teeth.

“Okay, motherfucker, first off, how do you know that?” He asked. “And second, you aren’t supposed to be here.”

Pressing his mouth around the tip of his weird looking vape, the boy took a drag.

You wrote your response as quickly as you could.

“First, it’s not that hard to figure, and, second, I’m not even supposed to be alive.” You mocked the way he asked his question. He didn’t seem to notice.

He choked on the smoke in his throat and coughed. Because of his pale skin, he turned slightly red. The boy coughs, beating his chest slightly.

You didn’t know why people did that. It’s not like it would help. Would it?

Clearing his throat, he said, “What I meant was, Shadow Moon was supposed to be here not, whoever the fuck you are.” He gestured with his, what you assumed to be, vape.

“Y/N = name,” you wrote.

He nodded, keeping his gaze fixated on the ground. “Pretty.”

“Yours?”

You watched him deliberate before he spoke.

“Technical Boy,” he said. “But you can call me Tech.” Pausing, he thought about what he said. “Or TB, if it’s easier to write.”

You nodded, thankful you didn’t have to write all that out.

“Who are you, exactly?” He asked.

You twisted the pen in your fingers, trying to figure out what would be most concise and would reveal the least.

“Friend of Shadow’s.”

Technical Boy read the paper and leant back in his seat. He looked thoughtful, as if he was analyzing the situation. Maybe he was. Maybe that’s how he worked. You didn’t know enough about this god to say for sure.

You had your own thoughts to contend with anyway.

Whoever this god was, he was dangerous. Maybe not like Wednesday, but he there was this underlying intimidation to him. Like all gods really. But this was different. He was different. Thinking is dangerous and Technical Boy was sure as hell taking his fucking time thinking about something.

Even if it wasn’t that, he still gave you the ‘don’t fuck with me’ kinda vibes. They weren’t Wednesday’s ‘don’t fuck with me vibes’. No, they were different. More in your face; just like everything else about this guy.

Which was nice. You knew where he was; his intentions practically seeped from his pores.

Unlike with Wednesday, who had too much mystery about him for you to trust with even a penny of your money.

“Your friend, does he know what he’s gotten himself into?”

You shook your head.

“He doesn’t even know who Wednesday is,” you wrote.

Technical Boy slowly nodded, thinking. He took another drag from his vape.

You could swear the thing in the sphere-like pod blinked at you.

The god followed your gaze to his vape.

“Synthetic toad skins,” he said. “Wanna hit?”

You shook your head. You didn’t need your mind fogged up by anything right now.

He shrugged, taking another hit and blowing out O’s.

You coughed as the smoke hit you. Now, that’s a dick move.

Guess you didn’t have a choice. Either take a hit directly, or get one from second-hand smoke.

Shadow probably would have snapped at him by now.

“How do you know about us?” He asked. “Gods, I mean.”

You raised an eyebrow, silently questioning his question.

“How does anyone know anything?” You asked him, writing it down on your pad.

He quietly chuckled and pointed at you.

“I like you,” he said. “Confident. Smart. Good qualities to have.”

“Point?”

“Straight-forward is also a good quality and a rare one. Wonder how you got it.”

Ouch. 

Technical Boy leant forward, studying you. “My, I suppose you could call him, boss, wants to know what Wednesday is up to.”

“A spy?”

Technical Boy nodded. “If you want to call it that, sure,” he said. “You can be our inside man.”

He was offering you a job.

Made sense.

The weather had been strange as of late. Then Wednesday shows up, offering Shadow one in a weird fucking way. When you had consulted the future (which is always vague) and the spirits (which are even more vague), they gave interesting answers. Everything seemed to be pointing toward something big happening and soon by the looks of it.

“Do I have a choice?”

Technical Boy nodded and said, “Sure. Death is always another option.” He quickly noticed your uneasy movements. “That was a joke, I swear. I didn’t actually mean that. I was just trying to be a dick.”

You leant back, breathing a little easier.

“Why should I?” You wrote. “Work for you instead of Wednesday. What are the benefits, cause the downside is that I’ll be hurting a friend and likely have to sneak around behind their backs.”

“Is money a good incentive? How about a steady job? You ever had either of those? Or maybe, all expenses paid for?” Technical Boy took another drag and blew out the smoke. “Also, the best tech you could ask for and whatever you need to get the job done.”

“I don’t give a shit about that.” The god seemed shocked by that, narrowing his eyes at you and leaning back like he was trying to see the big picture of you. Never gonna happen. “What I want to know is, why should I hurt my friend for someone I don’t know and for a cause I know nothing about?”

Technical Boy nodded, understanding the question. Barely, but he got there.

“Wednesday is in the past; we are the future. The Old Gods are fading, crumbling in America. They are nothing. Especially compared to us,” he said. “Don’t you want to be part of the winning side for once?”

His arrogance was definitely his worst trait.

“The Old Gods will always be there. They are a part of our culture,” you wrote. “Try as you might, the US will always be the melting pot of the world. There are too many cultures here to make it any different.”

Technical Boy smirked.

“Like I said, smart.” The god thought for a moment before countering. “That may be true, but those cultures are melting together and can’t stay apart for long. They will become one giant culture and that will be of the good ole U.S. of A. You can’t stop that. No one can.”

“Maybe. Why are you trying to convince me to work for you?”

Technical Boy shrugged.

“My mission was to find out what Wednesday has planned. You are, currently, the best way of doing that. Besides, maybe you can convince Shadow to join us too. He seems to be important to the old man, so why not?” The god gestured with his vape before taking a drag. “Just to fuck with him, ya know?” He blew out the smoke through his nose.

“Can I think about it?”

He nodded.

“Sure, take your time. Just not too long. We don’t have forever.”

“How would I get in contact with you?”

A smartphone materialized in your lap. It’s black, sleek case and the screen shined.

“Call me,” he said before cringing. “Text me, I mean. My number’s already in there.”

You nodded.

Technical Boy reached for a strangely shaped thing on his left. It looked like one of those plumbob things from The Sims but cut in half and with some sort of box sticking out of it. That's what it looked like from your perspective anyway. His hand hovered over the middle of the box before he pressed down on whatever it was. You could have sworn it turned red, but you couldn’t tell; it was too far away now.

“See ya on the flip side,” he said.

A piece of the roof gave way, opening like a box lid.

You were pulled from your seat and, in a way, floated out. It was strange. You didn’t feel like you left the whatever it was but you could see you had. It was like you were going upward while everything else was going down. It made your stomach hurt. You knew what direction you were going and what way was up just by looking, but none of it felt real. Nothing from the last few minutes felt real. Not the god, not the phone that burned in your pocket, not the offer the god had made, and certainly not the room, or whatever it was, you had been in.

What did feel real was Shadow holding you and calling your name.

By the gods, you did hate the gods.

“Y/N?” Shadow said. “Y/N, are you okay? What happened? Y/N?”

He kept calling your name, shaking you slightly, but you couldn’t respond. Not with your pad and pen and definitely not verbally.

Your mind was racing to catch up with everything as your body had.

Finally, you managed to sit up, Shadow holding you to help stabilize you. You weren’t built for this. Not in any way, shape, or form. Someone like Shadow? Probably. But you? No, not in the slightest. Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten in the way, but it was too late for that.

Everything hit you like a train as you watched the face-hugger-like contraption fold in on itself and disappear. Like it just blinked out of existence.

But that was the gods for you; always covering up their tracks. Some even pretending like they had nothing to do with how humans acted or what happened to humans. It’s sickening really, the way they act. But what can you do?

Some could hold their own under the gods’ onslaught; but you were too much like your parents, not strong enough to handle it.

Shadow kept his arms around you as you leant into his chest.

Technical Boy likely had no idea how that would have affected you so you couldn’t blame him; he was, afterall, looking for Shadow, not you. The two of you had entirely different genetic makeup.

You looked at Shadow as he looked fearfully at you.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asked.

You nodded and breathed heavily.

“We have to get away,” you said. “Whatever is going on is dangerous.”

Every word hurt to say.

Though you wanted to tell him everything, you knew he wouldn’t believe you. He was that sort of guy.

“I made a deal with Wednesday,” he said.

You sighed, your gaze falling to the now muddy ground.

“I can’t break that. But you can leave, if you want.” Shadow let you go and stood up, offering his hand. “It’s okay if you do. I’d understand.”

You scoffed and took his hand. “And what? Let you get yourself killed? Not happening.”

Shadow smiled, pulling you up.

You were brothers; you couldn’t just walk away from each other like that.

•

You know that feeling that people get when they think they’re being watched? Well, that was the feeling you got as you and Shadow climbed back to the street. It felt like someone was spying on you from the bushes or something, but you pushed the feeling aside.

The both of you would need a shower after this. That and clean clothes.

•

You both found your separate rooms at the motel. They were right next to each other, like your cells had been the first time you met.

Collapsing on your bed, mud caking your shoes and clothes, you stared at the ceiling and considered your options: join these New Gods and betray your friend, deny their offer and side with the Old Gods, or skip town and never interact again.

The third choice was your favourite.

Joining the New Gods was a no-brainer really. They, as Technical Boy said, were the future. But is that a future you really want to be a part of? One where minorities were attacked, locked up, and killed for no reason. One where the planet was being poisoned by large corporations. A future where people’s entire future’s and live’s depended on one election. Is that something you really wanted? There was also the whole moral thing of betraying someone you trusted whole-heartedly. You couldn’t give less of a shit about Wednesday and whatever he was doing. But you did care about Shadow and, like he said, he did make a deal. He always keeps his deals.

On the other hand, there were the Old Gods. They were obviously going to lose. They weren’t powerful enough. It’d be great for whoever they fight in the name of (Wednesday) but they’d still lose. The only plus side was Shadow. Keeping him safe was all that enticed you to consider this course.

But you could still keep him safe with the New Gods.

The last option was taking Shadow and getting out. But you knew he wouldn’t go with you. He needed the money and had already sealed the deal.

You sat up and stared at the carpet before flopping back down on the bed.

You knew what you had to do, what the smartest choice was and would all but guarantee Shadow’ safety.

You had to play all sides.

It was obvious when you thought about it.

You would agree to spy for the New Gods, so long as Technical Boy would be your “handler”, help Wednesday with whatever (while supplying that information to Technical Boy), but your main goal would be convincing Shadow to leave with you. You knew a small town in Wisconsin that would be perfect to hide away in. Your family had hid there before. It may not have done you any good back then, but things change.

Yes, this would require a level of deception that you hadn’t used in years, but it wasn’t the hardest plan you’d ever come up with. Plus, people always had a habit of underestimating the quiet one. That was often their fatal mistake.

With that plan in mind, you pulled out the phone Technical Boy had given you and turned it on.

Technical Boy must have known you did because a text came through.

‘Decided?’ It read.

‘Yes,’ you texted back. ‘I’ll work for you, but only you.’

‘Good.’ A new line of text appeared. ‘Text if Wednesday reveals anything or you find out anything useful.’ Another line popped up. ‘I’ll set up meeting places. Don’t text unless you need me or have information.’

‘Got it.’

You tossed the phone onto the bed and covered your face with your hands.

What had you just done?

Something stupid, that’s what.

If he found out what you were really doing, you’d end up dead for sure. Or worse yet, Shadow would.

You pushed the thought away. You couldn’t afford to think like that, not now. Not when you had to focus on manipulating and lying to people, one of which you would do anything for.

•

Wednesday walked over to you as Shadow helped the moving men load stuff into the truck.

You leant against Betty, as he called her. Pulling a package of gum out of your pocket, you plucked one out and took off the wrapper. Quickly stuffing the piece in your mouth, you put the package away and crumpled the wrapper up, putting it in your pocket.

“So,” the older man said. “Shadow and I talked last night.” You said nothing, just nodding along. “He said that you pushed him out of the way of some sort of device. That the thing was stuck on your face for a while. That you were shaken when you came out.” You just nodded. “What did he say to you?” Wednesday asked. “What did he promise you if you helped him?”

You looked over at him and rolled your eyes before pulling out your pad of paper and your red crayon.

“Don’t worry, I told him to take a hike,” you wrote. “Odin.”

Wednesday stepped away from you, surprised.

“I weighed the risks. Shadow is more likely to get hurt with them than you.”

The Old God nodded and realized where your loyalties lie; with Shadow and Shadow alone.

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: How to make friends (NEW VISUAL NOVEL OUT THIS SUMMER)

By: @bidoofgodofdestruction

For: @whatsupscythia

Prompt: wingman Chiaki (exes with Hajime) tries to set up Nagito and Hajime in a non-despair au

Notes: this wound up being a very Chiaki-centric fic. I love Chiaki to death and wanted to explore her a little in this setting. Of course, Hajime and Nagito are in there being my favorite couple. I hope you’re happy with how this turned out! :)

“The ultimate gamer…” The boy had a less than trustworthy grin across his face as he stepped near Chiaki “Tell me, did you actually win all those tournaments? Or did you just charm the opposition into letting you win?”

She’d seen this scenario in her games. It was classic, and never fun to be on the receiving end. She glowered at him, resisting all urges to spit in his face.

“I won with my skill because I’m good at games. Please move.”

“Aw… you’re kinda cute puffing out your cheeks in anger like that.” He condescended going another step “Did your ‘sister’ do that?” He asked giving air quotes

Her eyes darted around for any help. She noticed that creepy kid from her class arguing with a reserve course loser. Not the best option.

“I don’t know. Now I have to go.”

She did her best to push past him but he grabbed her arm.

“Come on… maybe we can have a game night in my dorm?”

Chiaki turned getting ready to slap the asshole across the face when-

“Hey, what are you doing?!”

She looked to where she saw the two boys fighting and were now storming up to the boy who was harassing her, fire in their eyes.

“Harassing a girl…” the boy from her class -his name was Nagito right?- looked down his nose at the boy in disapproval “Not cool. Very not cool.”

“Hey, why don’t you mind your own business?”

Chiaki looked at the two boys and a plan formulated in her mind that she’d also seen play out in games.

“Oh, Daichi!” She broke away from the boy who had her and ran into the Reserve Course boy burying her head in his stomach “Are we on for date night tonight?”

“Huh? Who is-“

She stomped on his foot and nudged her head towards the boy.

“Uh… I mean… What are you doing with my girl?”

Wow his acting was bad. She looked to Nagito and mouthed ‘do something’ and he nodded and took initiative.

“You shouldn’t mess with Daichi. Although his reserve course student status suggests that he’s worthless, I’ve heard rumors that he is quite strong. And as you know reserve course students are quite uncultured. I wouldn’t be surprised if he struck you.”

She noticed “Daichi” giving Nagito the evil eye, and even Chiaki was going “cringe” in her head.

“But furthermore…” Nagito gave him a nasty look “You shouldn’t be harassing a lady.”

“… Whatever! Screw you!” The boy stormed off. Chiaki broke away from “Daichi” and said “Thanks.”

That’s how Chiaki had +2 to her party. Or as other people would call it… she made some friends for once. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “And then… he just goes ‘that’s a mighty fine tree’! Isn’t he so funny?!” Nagito laughed.

Chiaki looked away from her game to give an exasperated look to her classmate, and current only person in this class who she ever talked to- as against her better judgement that was.

“I don’t care about that. Just owning him at smash bros today.”

“Oh… is that you finally getting over him, or just you now channeling your angry breakup feelings into beating him at video games?”

Oh he had to bring that up. This was her first time talking to the guy in months since… that. They were finally gonna have a typical hang out and play some games. And Nagito, master douche had to be like that. Chiaki closed the console and bopped Nagito on the head.

“Shut up.”

“Well video games are a good way to channel your anger. Especially when you’re so talented at them. Nurture that talent to-“

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She whacked him in quick succession, and she noticed stares from the rest of the class. Ugh. She lost her stealth achievement. “Shut up.” She whispered.

“Okay.” He nodded “Why are we whispering?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hajime was already sitting on the bench when they got there. Darn it. She wanted a few more minutes to prepareto see the guy she hadn’t talked to in months. Surprisingly, it was Nagito who played the middle-man between them, really insisting Chiaki try to go back to being friends with Hajime. Pretty weird seeing as he was the last person to have enough of a backbone to insist anything from her. He always gave her the final hit during co-op, ran off the cliff during sudden death, he was a total pushover. So if Nagito got that passionate over it, it had to be worth it.

“Hi Chiaki.” Hajime stood up “Listen… with the Kuzuryuu… incident and our break up I think we both said a lot of things we didn’t mean.” He extended a hand “So can we start over?”

She nodded “Yeah.” And sat down on the opposite side of the bench from him.

“I’m so glad you two are getting along again!” Nagito sat in the middle taking his switch out of his bag “I hope your skills aren’t rusty Hajime! We haven’t played since you and Chiaki broke up.”

“Have some tact will you?” Hajime nudged him.

“Sorry. To be honest, when I hang out with Chiaki, games are all we do!”

“You never do anything else?” Hajime looked over.

“What else is there to do?” She asked.

“Well me and Nagito have eaten lunch together, tried some arts and crafts, listened to music…”

“Whatever.” She didn’t really need the lecture.

But she did notice how Nagito hummed and rested his head on Hajime’s shoulder- before coming to a seeming earth shattering revelation of what he was doing and backing off averting his gaze in guilt. Hajime didn’t seem to notice and selected his main: the piranha plant. Chiaki had stopped giving him shit about that a long time ago. But she kept noticing Nagito’s smile brighten when Hajime’s face brightened landing a KO on Chiaki (Chiaki didn’t tell him that she died to him on purpose) or how when Hajime nudged Nagito in this victory, Nagito turned bright scarlet.

Hoo boy.

Eventually, the three of them parted ways and scheduled to go to the crepes shop that opened up near the campus next time they saw each other, and Hajime headed towards his dorms, while Chiaki and Nagito went towards the ones for the main course.

“… You have a crush on him don’t you?” Chiaki asked when they got far enough away from them.

Nagito stopped in his tracks. Chiaki stopped as well to look back at him, and watched his face turn deep scarlet and him placing a hand on his burning cheek.

“When did you realize?”

“Oh you know… we were sitting around at one point… just the two of us and I realized that he’s truly kind and fun and absolutely wonderful!”

“Mmhm…” she wished she wasn’t talking about her exes romantic sensibilities when she was just coming off a break up.

“Well of course, even if he’s way too good for me! Though even then I don’t know how I could’ve fallen for a member of the reserve course! Isn’t the world a strange place? Where a bug like me could-“

“Stop.” Chiaki frowned “You’re not gonna raise any of his flags talking like that.”

“What do you mean?”

Chiaki turned to him and pointed a finger up at his stupid tall face.

“You like Hajime right?”

“Yes…”

“You want his Hajime Hinata’s?”

“That’s just his name.”

“You wanna kiss him?! With tongue?!”

“… Yes.”

“Then fucking try and make a move onto his 91 centimeter chest!” She shouted.

“His chest is 91 centimeters?”

“Yeah, found out while we were dating.”

Nagito turned a deeper shade of red.

“So… Hajime is the kind of person who looks thinner in clothes huh?” He asked a wobbly smile coming onto his face.

“Yeah! You want that, right?!”

“But I don’t deserve something so wonderful as that!”

“Pull yourself together! Yes you do!” She shouted “Now come back to the dorm with me! I’m staying up late tonight helping you get. Those. Hinatas.”

She dragged him back by the tie while he protested.

“But an ultimate shouldn’t be troubling themselves for someone like me! And maybe I do love Hajime and the way he looks so cute when he’s annoyed but what about me?! I’m not cute at all! I’m-“ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chiaki was really bad at dating sims. Like. Really bad. Like, turbo neophyte. But she was playing them until morning where her eyes were gross and crusty all for Nagito. She took notes on her findings all night. Then in class the next morning she arrived with an old pack of gum and a stuffed rabbit.

“What’s this?” Nagito asked.

“Okay. If you give Hajime a gift he’s gonna like you more. But you have to choose the right gift. And you can only give him one a day.”

“I don’t think Hajime will like this stuff…” Nagito claimed “Is this what you did when you and Hajime started dating?”

“No, but that didn’t work out anyways!” Chiaki stood up and leaned over Nagito’s desk “We’re not talking about me and Hajime getting together over Natsumi Kuzuryuu calling us a good couple, we’re talking you maxing out Hajime’s route!”

“Chiaki… your eyes look scary.”

“Are you listening?!”

“Chiaki… is this just your rebound for Hajime?”

Chiaki felt her legs give out at that and she fell, her legs tangled in the mix of desks.

“Unnnnn…”

“Chiaki…”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna pick out a gift for Hajime after school?”

“… Why not?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Their dates didn’t consist of much. They’d meet up, make small talk, and have empty space between them, that Chiaki desperately wanted to be filled by the console. They’d go back to Hajime’s dorm and play a little bit, and that was when she felt close to him. He sucked and had to have everything explained to him, but that meant she got to talk more about the game. It was all going so well until that day.

“Hajime, you’ve been holding back telling people about your friend trying to bully people off campus?!”

“I had no idea it’d go as far as her pulling out a knife!”

“Jesus, you’re pathetic! I thought you were the kind of guy who doesn’t let this shit happen, but apparently if you’re buddy buddy with them, you look the other way!” She shouted.

“It’s not like that!”

“Oh! Oh! Really?! Because I started dating you because she set us up! And you never fucking told me about this! What kind of shit is that?!”

“Okay, I should’ve told you about that, but she’s still my friend!”

“Why? Cause she was waiting for her yakuza money to make her a main course student and you were hoping you could get a piece of her fame!? Is that why you’re dating me?! Because of my fame?! You know what people say right?!”

“It’s not about you!”

“Not about me?! I’m caught in the sniper crosshairs of this shit because of you! What do you have to say to that?!”

“Natsumi was the only person in this hellhole who understood how I felt!”

Chiaki glared at him for his disgustingly insensitive statement and spit at his feet.

“We’re done. Don’t talk to me.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Do you think he’ll like this one?”

Chiaki looked at Nagito pull out a model train set meant to be set up.

“No. He’d probably get frustrated with it.” She said “Put it back.”

Nagito complied and looked more around the curiosity shop. Chiaki continued sulking in the corner. If it was a game shop she could make a suggestion. But Nagito insisted this was a better way to get something sentimental.

“Getting a gift for your boyfriend?” The shopkeeper asked.

“He‘a not my boyfriend.” She corrected “He failed the route. Negative points. Got the bad ending.”

“What about this!” Nagito pulled out a glass ring which then dropped and shattered on the ground. “Oops.” He looked sheepish “I’ll pay for that.”

“Yes you will.”

Chiaki looked around grumpily for a few moments before looking at Nagito.

“What did you guys do while I wasn’t talking to him?”

“Well… actually… he was contemplating some heavy stuff when you two first split up.”

Heavy stuff?

“Wait… was he…”

“… I can’t give the details. But he wanted an easy fix you might say. Not the one you’re thinking of but… close.”

“… And you told him not too?”

“Yes… because… the time we met we were actually in a similar situation.”

Jesus Christ two atom bombs in one conversation. How did she not know this? Wasn’t she their friend?

“… Nagito…”

“This ones the fix you’re thinking of. He kept me from going through with it, and then, I went and started an argument. He was just some reserve course student thinking he knew what was best for someone he didn’t know. I thought he was the picture of arrogance. But I’m pretty glad for that arrogance… since it got me a pretty good friend. Two in fact.”

Chiaki wanted a game in her hands. An escape from the tough subjects and the hard facts of life being spit at her right now instead of her drama over a stupid break up.

“… We were just sitting there arguing over stupid things like Hopes Peak. But then we saw a girl being harassed. And we came together to help her.”

She looked up to see him smiling. It was so unsettling. The guy had some clear self-worth issues but he went about them so casually… just a comment made while they played games. she never thought…

“You have to see a therapist.” She said instantly. Nagito ignored her. “You have to see a therapist.” She repeated.

“This one looks nice doesn’t it?”

“Nagito!”

Chiaki went up to Nagito and grabbed his cheeks.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me something like this?”

“Sorry. You just never seemed like you were ready to hear it. Can I just look for a gift?”

Avoiding it. She threw her arms up and stormed out of the shop, leaving Nagito to peruse around for his gift. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ She thought of taking that exit before too.

She had a sister. Eigo. More precisely, she was her sister. When Eigo died, her grief stricken father did everything to bring her back. And Chiaki was… what happened when he got ahold of her DNA samples. No matter how much her father held her when she cried from other children calling her a freak of nature at school, and telling her she was perfect, she knew she wasn’t a real human. Of course, when she started using video games, a world where all kinds of strange things like cloning, or a plumber who uses a mushroom to get big she was good enough to win tournaments, and she was no longer Chiaki Nanami, first successful human clone but Chiaki Nanami Ultimate Gamer.

Nagito said her existence was ‘wonderful.’ It was full of idol worship and weirdness, that didn’t sit well with her.

Hajime just told her he knew what it was like when people thought you had less value. She liked that more.

Actually she had no idea how Hajime and Nagito could stand to be in the same area when Nagito was the exact person to tell him he had less value. He clearly pissed Hajime off, but Chiaki kept him around because Hajime was a total joke to beat at games, and besides he drank enough ‘respect women’ juice that Teruteru didn’t talk to her anymore.

Nagito eventually when Hajime shouted “What’s wrong with you?!” started talking about… stuff that had happened to him. Lots of stuff. So much stuff. And Chiaki didn’t know how to handle that emotional stuff. But… Hajime told him he was sorry about all that. That he didn’t deserve all those awful things.

Chiaki thought that was implied but then Nagito just said “You know… nobodies ever said that to me.”

After that Hajime and Nagito eventually started to tolerate each other. Nagito’s scathing comments turned more to playful digs and they seemed to have more of a rivalry than pure antagonism. They would sometimes even talk about what they liked about the school, gossip, and just facts about their day.

Then, one day, sometime after they started dating, Hajime tried to come to them instead of them coming to him after school.

Big mistake. He got beaten by security. Bad. Nagito and Chiaki came outside to find him curled up and sobbing on the ground. Chiaki had never seen that from him before. But it was Nagito who dropped his bag and ran to him.

“Hajime!”

“Ugh… this was a stupid idea…” Hajime sighed “Let’s go.”

Chiaki had to lift him up and carry him (even though usually he carried her. What about that.) and they took him to Mikan to clean his wounds.

“What were you thinking going to the Main Course gates?!” Mikan squeaked.

“I… just wanted to feel like I was part of it for once.” Hajime sighed. “Of course they made sure I remembered my place… physically, and verbally.”

“That didn’t really happen…” Chiaki frowned “Did it?”

“Oh it did.” He looked down but Chiaki could see the traces of tears welling up in those eyes “They reminded me that I’m just a Reserve Course student who’s totally worthless-“

“But you’re not worthless!”

… What?

“What?” Hajime looked at Nagito in disbelief.

“You’re such an amazing person! My very first and best friend! You’re kind and intelligent and headstrong…”

Now Nagito was crying. Wait. Had Nagito ever cried either? She looked between the two of them.

“I… thanks Nagito.”

Nagito never made a snide comment about Hajime’s reserve course student status after that. They even started hanging out without Chiaki. So many details Chiaki never knew. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “I found this last night.” Chiaki watched from behind a wall as Nagito handed Hajime a marble with green and red stars speckling the inside. “I thought you might like it.”

“Nagito… I… I don’t know what to say.”

He took the marble and hugged Nagito, who turned bright crimson in surprise.

“H-H-Hajime!”

“Oh. Sorry. I’m just a little emotional. With Chiaki still avoiding me.” He stepped back looking at the marble “It is pretty amazing though.”

“Thanks. Um… Hajime.” Nagito wrung his hands “Do you think that… that I need professional help?”

Chiaki froze in place.

Hajime looked from the marble to him, eyes widening.

“You- You’re actually considering it? Then go for it! There’s an Ultimate Therapist on campus isn’t there?”

“Okay… okay! I will!”

Chiaki felt like she was watching two strangers. She didn’t know them enough to tell them what they needed. Only they knew each other enough. The third wheel, so third she had to eavesdrop on them. So she dropped to the ground, leant against the wall, with no game or anything except listening to people she tuned out with those games.

[jjuzoir]

To Date Itaru Chigasaki

Request: “insert here”

A/N: I had to split the request in 2 posts!! due to formatting 🙇‍♀️ so sorry!!

- You two met at a gaming shop!

- You were looking for a gift for your best friend’s younger sister, as much as you liked games yourself- buying one for a 12 year old was another story.

- You were freaking out- you had been in the store for almost an hour searching and nothing would come up.

- You were afraid of not getting a gift at all- that is until you felt a tap from a man in a suit.

- “You look like you’re ten seconds away from crying,” Itaru looked at you, “Need some help?”

- He didn’t know why he’d helped you, you were kind of cute and, unlike with other things, he was a bit more open to helping others when it came to video games.

- “Please,” you turned around, “I need a game for a 12 year old but I just don’t know! I-I don’t want her to think I think she’s a child but she can’t play anything too… you know, grown up or else her parents will kick my ass.” You whine, maybe if things had gone better you’d be embarrassed but embarrassment is simply something you cannot feel right now, you’re against the clock and you’re tired.

- “Hmm, a 12 year old girl… thought about Puppy Crossing?”

- And that’s how you spent the next 30 minutes, discussing a game for the kid with a 20-something year old blue collar.

- By the end you had bought the gift plus a recommendation Itaru had given you based on your short, but surprisingly sweet, interaction.

- The second time you met was, again, at the store but this time it was for you instead of a kid. Thankfully.

- He was wearing another suit, you guessed he really was an office worker; what was he doing here though? What business would guy with such a high paying job, you assumed by his suit and clothes, have in such a small game store in the middle of a gaming street.

- You shrugged it off before returning to browsing, you really shouldn’t judge.

- After a few minutes he noticed you and approached you asking about the game he’d recommended for the girl last time. After gladly informing him about the success the gift had- both of you quickly began talking about the game he’d recommended you.

- After that you two began meeting up in the shop- not on purpose or anything, it just kind of happened.

- In most situations he might’ve been annoyed but for some reason he couldn’t really bring himself to be mad. He enjoyed being able to shamelessly talk about games, online and competitive, pay to win or free to play, with a cute person who didn’t judge him.

- It became a weekly occurrence and you really enjoyed it. Eventually he asked you out on a date, it’d be in an internet cafe near the store, and you said yes.

- You were looking forward to being able to know him better, not in a store or just as friends but maybe… as a possible s/o? You slap your cheeks at the thought, silly [Name], that wouldn’t happen... right?

- That is until he called in sick stating he had grown ill with the flu and you were worried, he sounded like he was in hell based on the phone call. He was coughing, his voice sounded muffled, he kept sneezing too, you were surprised he could even dial with how bad he sounded.

- When you tried to call him his number went straight to voicemail so you did what anyone would do;

- You called in to his home number (which he had given you when he gave you his business card, yes he gave you his business card instead of giving you his phone number like a normal person).

- “Hello, Izumi Tachibana speaking.” Your heart kind of stops when you hear a woman’s voice and you wonder if maybe you’d been a side piece, but thinking back to Itaru and how he acted with you - you doubted it.

- “Izumi? Ah, eh… is a Itaru Chigasaki there?”

- “Itaru? Yes, I can give him a message, who’s calling?”

- “Ah, tell him it’s [Name] from the store, I was just worried about him…”

- “[Name], huh? Wait, you mean you’re [Name] [Last Name]?”

- “Ehh… yes?”

- Turns out Itaru had told his roommate maybe wife maybe kid(?) about you?

- You didn’t know he had roommates, he looked well off so why couldn’t he afford a house? Maybe she was a girlfriend and they were in a open relationship? So many questions…

- You thought you wouldn’t really mind but it turns out your cheeks were now bright red when Izumi explained how Itaru had been talking about you often and promptly invited you to check up on Itaru, who was in fact ill. She also gave you a rundown of the situation, turns out he was part of some acting company and she was the director, so with a lighter heart you decided to take her up on going over to check on him.

- Big mistake.

- You were going to stop by after work, you decided, you’d also go and buy him some soup for his stomach just in case. You arrived at the house and welcomed inside by a smiling Tachibana and a strange bird before you were given a rundown of some rules.

- “Knock first, always knock first. If you hear anything between a grunt or a yes you’re in the clear, if you hear anything like a groan or a curse wait before knocking again. If you happen to hear something falling over or a scream I’ll text you when it’s safe for you to come over again. You seem like a nice person, so please don’t forget any of the rules! Now- go!”

- She quickly pushed you in front of the door and knocked for you before bolting behind the stairs, you received a quick thumbs up before she hid again.

- You were now alone in a dorm room looking for a grown man who had called in sick to a date with you, this wasn’t exactly how you thought your friday evening was going to go. You knock the door and put your ear next to the wood… no grunt, had Izumi explained what a no-grunt meant?

- You look at her general direction where she looks confused but encourages you to go in, so you shrug it off before turning the handle around - you end up falling over when the door is opened by the man of the hour himself.

- “Oi, Izumi- now that this match is over you can come in with the-! Ah… [Name], this is… embarrassing,” Itaru had turned around ready to scold Izumi when instead he came to see you.

- He looked like shit- he really did, not only because he was sick but because his room was a mess. You knew he liked gaming but this… this was too extreme, was this what they called a gap moe?

- “What the hell…?”

- He invites you in quickly- shoving chips and cans left and right before sitting you down on a couch.

- “What are you doing here- ACHOO!”

- You explained how worried you were about him- how he didn’t answer your calls and so you came to visit with soup (you felt the need to highlight the soup).

- He thanked you for the thought before looking around the room awkwardly remarking it’d be best you left- the flu was contagious after all.

- It was an awkward reaction, even for him- something Izumi doesn’t fail to note once you leave, unlike when anyone else would come in; Itaru couldn’t find it in himself to scold you or threaten you with an immediate and painful death.

- You leave the room quickly and wave goodbye- but not before he slips you a note with a bunch of numbers scribbled on.

- When you arrive home that night you finally realise what it said; it was his friend code.

- And that’s how your first date was on a island in ACNH he made for the date. And that’s how he asked you out too.

- Fucking nerd.

- You were crafting some furniture for your island (which he had happily helped you plan out) when he asks you out via chat.

- Your response? You used the shocked and glad reactions, the only valid reaction.

- Dating him includes video game dates; any server based game multiplayer is used to seeing you two doing some cringe couple shit.

- You will have to bathe him, he can go days without taking a bath so get ready to shove him in a tub.

- He’s not very good at being a boyfriend sometimes, he struggles in the emotional aspect. He’ll base himself a lot in dating sims, like it’s kind of cute but it can be scary if he uses the wrong dating sim.

- Will kabedon you for 2 reasons and 2 reasons only; one, he genuinely wants to know if it works like ??? does it really make people swoon is it really that cool ?? and two, it’s been a life long dream of his let him have this.

- Itaru can be both mature and kind of childish, you’ll have to stomach a lot of tantrums when you get in the way of gaming. But he’s also not a kid, he can be surprisingly mature when he wants to.

- He takes the relationship very seriously, most of the time; he genuinely likes you and he tries to leave gaming but he struggles.

- So, you decide to combine two things; you + games. You’ll go visit him often and play games together on his couch.

- He’s so fucking happy when you do that, it’s cute. He doesn’t mind you using his clothes but do not touch his yellow-tiger bomber jacket he only uses when gaming. Do not.

- Itaru will let you play with his hair while he plays games, he lets you use butterfly clips and shit too.

- Just don’t expect him to go out like that he’ll fucking riot.

- “Banri will freak out-“ “Omi bring the camera Itaru has fucking butterfly-clips on, Taichi film this shit- he’s wearing clips! And they’re buttefly ones, funniest shit I’ve seen!”

- Banri 100% teases the fuck out of him when it comes to you but Itaru will come back with some cheesy shit to make him uncomfortable.

- “It’s not my fault we two fell in love-“

- “I swear to fucking god if you go on another rant I’ll destroy you and your whole blood line with my pinky.”

- The dorm is kind of surprised how much more social Itaru can be with you- they’re so used to seeing him shut himself in with games, but now that you two are together he comes out more often to spend time with you.

- He can be kind of cold and emotionally distant but after awhile you learn that that’s just how Itaru works. He’s kind of aloof and awkward and he can come off as rude sometimes? He just be like that you know.

- That both the shut-in gamer and businessman are the same guy and that you… l*ve him for it.

- Play games with him please- just do it.

[hi-dread]

Mirko x Reader

Foreword

This story is a fanfic of Boku no Hero Academia and the rabbit hero Mirko, also known as Rumi Usagiyama.

I chose to write it in first person, mostly because I want to add something to my life which I cannot get besides in my fantasy. I hope you enjoy reading this and do not find it cringe.

The following part of this, is just a bit backstory on me/the reader that will end up meeting Mirko. If you don’t care about the backstory (since it is pretty long) you can just skip it. Since my childhood, I always felt like that one kid in school that was always alone, even if they wanted to reach out for people. I did have a few friends that I hung out with at and after school. We usually played soccer whenever we had a lunchbreak or when we could do anything but assignments. I had a lot of fun (or so I thought), and when I had the time I would ask one of my “friends” if they wanted to play/hang out after school and most of the time they said yes. I preferred being at their house than at mine. I always felt awkward being home with a friend. Not that my mom or siblings were embarrassing in any way. I just didn’t have as many things as the friends I hung out with had. When we got to their house, we either played soccer in their backyard or played video games. Be it Call of Duty, Mario Kart or Sims. I was down for anything, even if I had to watch them play. I enjoyed my time being there. But as much fun as it seemed, I did not expect this to happen. I was persuaded into going to a soccer tournament since they lacked a few players, especially in the defense. I didn’t really have any high hopes for the tournament because I knew I would be lopped with the bad team and we lost 9 out of 10 games, if we were lucky  that is. As I expected, we got destroyed in the first match with a whopping score of 0-23. The second game wasn’t as bad, but still quite a bit, since we lost that with a score of 0-15. There was a third game, but I am unsure if there was a fourth game. Well, that doesn’t really matter in the end since we lost in the end. When the entire tournament was over, my birthday came up. It was all nice and good, but a few days after that, I suddenly felt a severe stinging pain in my left foot. I didn’t know what it was, all I could say is that I hurt so bad that I couldn’t walk, so I had to lend some crutches from my cousin. As usual when something is hurting and it won’t go away after a week, I went to the doctor, they touched my foot and I nearly cry in pain. They send me to get an x-ray scan of the foot. Nothing showed up, so they sent me to the HR, which for those who don’t know what that is, it’s just a huge machine, making a lot of noise which will show pictures of the scanned object in a more detailed way. As I hoped it would show something, they said there was not anything wrong with the foot. At this the doctors were quite annoyed with my presence and my persistence of the pain in my foot. So, after 4 months of agonizing pain and a very bad start of a new school year, I was referred to a new hospital where they saw the old x-scan of my foot and showed me it. I could clearly see my foot was broken. They wanted to do a rescan of my foot to see how much it was healed and then they wanted to put a cast on it. I was happy they figured what was wrong out and that they helped me, but what was missing was my absence in school. Most of my classmates knew as much as I did, maybe less, but they kept asking me if they could use my crutches. I gave them permission. But there was also those who felt as if I were getting too much attention and even said to me that there was nothing wrong with my foot and I should stop walking with the crutches. As many would have thought, I thought the same; “how rude”. I shrugged it off.

Eventually, the cast would  be taken off and I had to learn how to walk again. As I regained my mobility, I slowly lost my interest in other things. My social life slowly dwindled, and I stopped going to soccer since I felt it got too serious and I didn’t get anywhere (mostly because I was put on the losing team). One and a half year went by and I got into a new class. Everything seemed fine and I was in an association of runners and I ran a few times a week to keep up my physique. But as I was out running on a Sunday, my knee suddenly felt dull and painful. I must note I did not even run 500 meters. But as the pain grew, my mobility in my knee fell. It locked itself in place and I could barely bend it. I told the others I could not keep going and they should just go without me and I would go back to where we started. I limbed back, sat down, yet still having pain. A week went by, and I was forced back on crutches and I was unable to have anything on my knee because even that felt painful. Same deal as before, I went to the doctors, they scanned it. Both x-ray and HR, but nothing had any results. 6 months later my doctor referred me to a private hospital where the doctor, after a few ‘tests’ knew exactly who I should go to because he has dealt with patients with similar symptoms. After I met the new doctor, he gave me some meds and they worked for around 3 months. In the 3 months, I could wear normal jeans, walk, and run properly, but after those months went by, it was back to the crutches. I was hospitalized a month after the fallback and was in rehabilitation. I got some tasks I had to do to fix the pain, even though they didn’t make sense. They basically told me I had to rub my knee with a towel for 60 seconds 3 times with a 30-60 second interval. Long story short, it worked, and I didn’t have any pain after the 4 weeks at the hospital. Though, I was forced to take some medicine, but as long as I didn’t feel any pain and I could walk, I was happy. I finished school after one and a half years with decent grades. Nothing I could do much about since I am not the best at the oral exams, though I was happy with the results. I went to high school, hoping everything would turn out well, but the knee pain came back. I’d say I had a “great” start on high school if you ask me. Even though my mom was very concerned about my grades and how well it went at school, I somehow pulled through. Even the 3 years prior with an absence percentage of more than 50%. The only reason I could pull through these agonizing years was thanks  to anime and manga. Since my knee pain would pull me out of school and tear apart my social life, even if I didn’t even have any to begin with, I felt some kind of joy with reading manga and watch anime when I could. Even though the first 2 years of high school felt like hell, I finished a few classes and got a better exam grade than some of my other classmates. It went well and as I was frequently going to a psychologist, reason being my knee pain (it’s mostly mental (think of phantom pain, then you’d understand, I hope)), but also because they found out I had suicidal thoughts. Even though I had those thoughts, I didn’t try to do anything since I had grown an anxiety for pain. But as I was going back and forth at the psychologists, they managed to find out I had a severe depression and might’ve had it for more than 6 years (at that point, I already knew I had a depression, but didn’t have the diagnose) and they also found out I had autism, not much, but enough to give me the diagnose Asperger’s Syndrome. I was fine with it, yet they didn’t give me many tools to deal with my depression, but I had my anime and manga, so I still had some hope. 

Enjoy.

Chapter 1: What I desire

Well, now that we have that sappy story out of the way, we’re back to the present, where I am still dealing with a severe depression, not finding an end to it. Well, the pain I have in the knee has come back, but not as severe as it used to be. I go to the gym on a regular basis. It used to be 5 times a week, but my psychologist thought it would be best if I went there 3 times a week instead. Before the pandemic hit I would do a lot of stomach exercises and work with my knee, but after all the precautions, I can’t do many of them, so I chose to just run with a pace of 9 km/h or 6 mi/h for 20 minutes for the last 10, I’d increase it to 10 km/h. When I am done with that, I’d do some sit-ups and pull-ups for around 20 minutes. When I tell people that I go to the gym a few times a week, there’s always the follow up question “Then you must like it, right?”, but that’s actually not the case. I despise it, but I must do it, so I have been told, that is. The reason why I actually run for 30 minutes is because I watched the anime Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru (Run With the Wind). It seemed inspiring how they were running and the amount of fun they had with it, so I wanted that too. I envied the fun they had when they were running together. But thanks to the diagnosis – my  Asperger’s ��� I cannot feel any human emotions, such as happiness, sadness, or anger. For me, I am just confused. But now I have a new goal for my workout. I have been reading Boku no Hero Academia – almost from when it was released – and have enjoyed it ever since. But one day, a certain hero was introduced. Yes, Rumi Usagiyama, the rabbit hero: Mirko. When she first appeared in the hero ranking right after All Might’s fight vs AFO, she has been on my mind a lot. Her cocky line, her daring attitude, and her epic hero entrance when Endeavor beat the first HE Nomu, give me goosebumps. The way she fights and how she is as a hero, always working to fight villains and to protect civilians, is something I look up to. She is my hero, and maybe my waifu. So much as I want merch of her. But don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that she’s out of my league and I am just a very unlucky kid, plus I live in a world where quirks don’t exist. She’s a fictional character and I am a person who reads Japanese comics for fun. But I can at least try to do my best to look fit and be in shape and prepare myself for what will happen next.

To be continued.

[localswordlesbian]

Something There That Wasn’t There Before

Read chapter 1 on ao3

The morning Martin wakes up and realizes his mother has wandered off, he knows he's in trouble. He just never expected this sort of trouble. Never expected a secluded castle beyond the woods, a friendly group of Archival Assistants trapped by an evil curse – a curse saying that if their boss, the reclusive Archivist Jonathan Sims doesn't have someone fall in love with him, he'll remain a monster subservient to the Beholding, and they'll all be trapped forever. Martin never bargained for curse-breaking, but he's never been a quitter.

When Martin woke up to find his mother gone, he knew he was in trouble.

He silently cursed himself as he ran through the house, shouting for her as he checked every room he could possibly think of, even creaking open the door to the attic despite knowing perfectly well his mother couldn’t climb those stairs if she tried.

Not that she ever did, of course. But that wasn’t relevant. What was relevant was that she was gone, and Martin hadn’t the slightest clue of where to find her.

He stopped in the kitchen, pushing his hands through his unruly hair, willing his racing heart to calm down. Just think, Martin. Where would she have gone?

Staring out the window as the town whisked by on their way to run their errands for a typical Saturday morning, Martin grabbed his coat and ran outside. Of course, you daft fool, he chastised himself. She must have just gotten hungry and gone to get bread. Nothing to worry about.

Walking through the town, dodging chickens and waving hello to familiar faces, Martin kept an eye out for the small, familiar form of his mother. Instead, he spotted a man taping a sign to an old, wooden building. Martin smiled as the man turned, waving a friendly hello.

“Blackwood!” the man shouted jovially, sauntering over from his previous perch by the door of the town’s old library. “In the mood for a new adventure? We got a couple donations from a library over in the city. Some Leitner fellow? Didn’t get a look at the books, but I thought you might want to be the first to check them out.”

Martin smiled his first real smile all day. “Thanks, Phil, but I’m in a bit of a hurry at the moment. Have you seen Mum today?”

Phil frowned thoughtfully, rubbing his scruffy beard, stark white against his dark skin. “I think I did, now that you mention ‘er. Saw her walking down the road, towards the bakery. Probably went to get bread? You need to keep a better eye on that woman, my boy. She won’t be able to remember the way home for much longer.”

Martin nodded. “I know. Slipped my mind this morning.”

Phil placed a friendly hand on Martin’s shoulder. “Don’t apologize, young man. These things happen.”

“Thanks. Sorry about the books – I’m sure I’ll be back soon to check them out.”

“No rush – they probably aren’t going anywhere. Now go fetch your mum before she falls into that darned well.”

Waving goodbye, Martin set off down the road toward the bakery. Some people gave Martin a friendly nod or a wave, some gave him a wide berth in the streets. Martin, for his part, mostly kept his eyes ahead of him, until he felt something ram into his legs and wrap around his middle, nearly causing him to take a tumble into the dust.

“Jack, you’ve got to be more careful,” Martin scolded the little boy who was now latched on to Martin’s waist. “I could’ve fallen!”

The little boy, Jack, only giggled in response. “Mr. Martin, did you hear that Mr. Phil got new books in the library? Could you read them to me? Please? Please please please pleasepleaseplease –“

“Yes, Jack, I promise I’ll read them to you,” Martin said with a smile, prying the boy’s small, calloused hands from behind his back. “How about tomorrow morning? I’m a little busy today, but I promise I’ll read to you tomorrow.”

Jack pouted, his freckled face puffing up in annoyance. “Promise?”

“I promise. I’ll be at the well at noon.”

Seeming satisfied, Jack poked Martin’s nose with his finger before sprinting off in the other direction. Martin smiled to himself as he stood and continued down the road – he loved reading to the kids in the town, teaching them the joys that words could bring to the world. They were all a little young for poetry, which was Martin’s personal guilty pleasure read, but he enjoyed reading them children’s books and fairy tales all the same.

Arriving at the bakery, Martin nudged past the line outside, earning him grunts of protest and annoyed glares as he made his way to the window.

“Get in line, boy!” the baker shouted as he sold a loaf to an old woman in a dark cardigan and skirt.

“Sorry, Charles, I was just wondering if you’d seen Mum today?” Martin wrung his hands nervously, the eyes of the annoyed patrons feeling as though they were burning holes in his back.

Charles, the baker, narrowed his eyes. “I did, I saw her head towards the far end of town, towards the woods.”

Martin’s stomach plummeted as he hurriedly thanked Charles and began to walk quickly, up the road once again, a walk that turned into a run as his heart thundered in his chest. Why was she leaving town? What could possibly be in the woods? Where was she intending on going?

Martin sprinted beyond the buildings, adrenaline pumping through his veins as his legs carried him beyond the town and out into the woods. After what felt like an eternity and a second at the same time, Martin slowed, wheezing to catch his breath, as he beheld the looming, foggy forest before him.

Shit.

Martin was oh so hopelessly lost.

After hours of trudging through the woods, twigs breaking under his heavy footfalls as he shouted for his mum until his voice was hoarse and his throat felt like it was splintering, Martin was beginning to lose hope of ever finding his mum or returning to town. He didn’t even know which way the town was anymore, with the looming figures of the trees seeming to make the paths shift right before his eyes. As he stopped in a clearing, his feet aching and his throat begging for water, Martin surveyed what was before him.

Fog seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see in all directions. Behind Martin was a steep cliff that he couldn’t hope to scale if he tried, to his left was trees and fog, same as behind him. To his right, he noticed, was a winding trail that led downwards, leading off to who-knew-where.

Breathing a sigh of defeat, Martin made his way down that path, hoping beyond all hope to either find his mother, the path back to town, or somewhere he could take shelter for the night. The creeping darkness paired with the fog meant he could hardly see in front of him, and the night chill was piercing through his coat and jumper. He shivered as he walked, trying not to let his mind spiral with thoughts of what could have happened to his mum, focusing instead on how his teeth chattered and his feet hurt and his shoulders ached from slumping in on himself in an attempt to stay warm. At the bottom of the path, before him stood tall iron gates, gates which had swung open, seeming to mockingly invite Martin inside.

Had Martin been in his right of mind, he would have immediately turned around and walked away. Though he couldn’t see through the fog, he knew there could be nothing good on the other side of the wicked looking gates.

But Martin was not in his right of mind – he was cold, he was in pain, and he was panicking. So, without a moment’s hesitation, Martin marched through the gates and emerged in what appeared to be a beautiful garden.

For a moment, Martin was awestruck, and he could feel lines from a poem he might write tickling the back of his mind. The stone path he walked on was made up of hundreds of pieces of what appeared to be ceramics and broken glass, forming a twisting pattern that looking at nearly made Martin dizzy. In the middle of the path was a tree, growing along a gnarled trunk and sprouting the most beautiful white, black, and red roses he’d ever seen. All across the property grew different types of flowers: rosebushes and peonies and lilies and lilacs guided Martin towards the massive structure looming before him: a massive gothic castle, dark in comparison to the beauty of the garden, with colossal wooden doors, dark bricks piling higher than Martin could see even when he tilted his head, with spires reaching for the sky and a massive clock: it read that it was half past midnight.

Shaking off a shiver that wasn't quite from the chill of night, Martin marched forward and pushed at the doors. They gave with surprisingly little resistance, and Martin walked into the castle foyer.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he’d expected – for the place to be abandoned, perhaps. Certainly not for the blood-red carpet underfoot to feel soft and to cushion Martin’s footfalls, nor for the dark wood of the interior to look as polished as it did. The foyer was brightly illuminated by a massive chandelier hanging above a grand staircase, which first went upwards before splitting off into left and right. There appeared to be old paintings on the walls, and cabinets lined one side of the front hall.

Beside the door was an ancient-looking wooden coat hanger, so Martin shucked off his coat and hung it up, standing by the door in his favourite yellow wooly jumper and jeans. He walked in slowly, wondering who could possibly be living here.

“Hello?” he called, then cringed as his voice echoed back at him in the vast, empty space. “Mum? Hello? Is anyone here?”

He got no reply, so he dared enter further. To one side he saw an archway that led to a room decorated with an intricate carpet and a comfy-looking sofa, with a roaring fireplace in front of it. The heat hit Martin’s face as he walked towards it, then paused as he noticed a second staircase behind the grand one.

This one was much smaller, leading downwards into what appeared to be a dimly-lit circular stone staircase. The spookiness of it sent shivers down Martin’s spine, and as he debated which direction to go first, he heard the sound of something moving.

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a voice behind him drawled, and Martin yelped as he turned and saw a man standing in front of the couch, the fire behind him accenting his silhouette. As the man approached, Martin could make out more features: pale skin with sunken-in eyes, a lanky figure with long, poorly-dyed black hair and eyeliner accenting his gray eyes. Silver piercings glinted from his eyebrow, nose, and ears, and his nails were painted black that matched his outfit. “You looking for your mum? I heard you shouting.” The man smirked, placing his weight on one foot and crossing his arms in front of him. He seemed friendly, though, if a little intimidating.

“I–yeah,” Martin stammered. “She wandered off this morning? She’s, ah, not exactly in the rightest of minds, so, yeah. Have you seen her?” A hint of hope creeped into his voice.

The man shook his head. “Probably would’ve heard from the boss if she was in the house. Though, the boss can’t see into the basement – Michael and Helen make sure of that.” At Martin’s confused look, the man waved a hand dismissively. “It’s a long story, one that won’t be relevant once you get your mum and get out of here.”

“I–right,” Martin fidgeted with his jumper. He felt like a tele tubby next to this man, and curse Martin’s face for turning red, and he tried to convince himself that it was from the fire and not because he was anxiously facing a sort of cute guy who had just told him he needed to go into a creepy basement to retrieve his mum. “Didn’t you say not to go down there, though?”

The man shrugged. “I hate it down there. You’ll definitely get lost. But if Michael and Helen like you, they should let you go once you’ve found your mum.”

Martin nodded dumbly and tried to muster as much courage as he could, releasing his jumper and willing his hands to be still. “Uh, thanks?”

The man nodded. “No problem. Don’t die.” With that, he walked back towards the couch, vaulted his slim body over it, and settled down. No wonder Martin hadn’t noticed him before – he blended right in.

Taking a deep breath, Martin turned towards the staircase, and before he could talk himself out of it he started the descent.

The staircase was dimly lit by what looked like oil lamps, and Martin felt cramped in the narrow passageway. He felt humidity hanging thick in the air, and soon his ginger curls were plastered to his forehead and his shirt under his jumper was soaked through with sweat. Just as Martin questioned whether the stairs would ever end, his feet hit solid ground and a hallway stretched before him. A hallway lined with cells.

Martin stared at the sight before him, at the ancient looking dungeon that Martin didn’t want to think about why was there. As he stepped forward, he noticed that every cell he passed was empty, which gave him a small amount of relief. Whatever this was, it hadn’t been used in a long time. As he walked, he thought back to the man upstairs’ words.

The boss can’t see into the basement. If Michael and Helen like you, they should let you go once you’ve found your mum. Don’t die.

Who was the boss? How could they see everything in a castle this big? Who were Michael and Helen? Martin picked up his pace, thoroughly spooked and wishing he were back home.

Eventually, he turned around, and nearly stumbled from shock. Behind him was a wall, where there certainly hadn’t been one before. Panic rising in his throat, Martin turned back around and saw with a start that there were now several branching hallways when before it had been a straight path ahead of him. His heart pounding and breath quickening, Martin grabbed the moist wall, wincing at the gross texture but forcing himself to hold on and ground himself. Now is not the time to panic.

Once the panic had become manageable, Martin looked up and saw with a start that there was a figure ahead of him. Familiar dark hair piled on top of the person’s head, and they were dressed in a nightgown and coat.

“Mum?” he called, and the familiar face of his mother looked up at him. As he walked over, her frown deepened into a scowl.

“Where have you been all day?” she demanded.

Martin winced. “I’m sorry. I was looking for you. You went really far, Mum.”

Martin’s mum glowered at him. “Useless. Just like your father.” Martin suppressed a wince, not wanting to let on how wounded he felt at her words. He’d gotten lost and tore his feet up for her, and all she could do was insult him.

Bitterness rose in his throat, and he crushed it down. She’s ill. Let her be. he chided himself. “Come on, Mum. Let’s get you home.”

“Yes, let’s,” drawled a voice that was not his mother’s from behind him. Martin’s shout echoed off the walls, and he heard his mother shush him sharply as he turned and saw a figure leaning on the wall. Behind him, the passage was as it was the first time Martin had looked at it – straight ahead toward the stairs. “I have no problem with letting her go. A nasty piece of work you’ve got there, boy.”

Martin sputtered as he beheld the man – his long, curling blond hair fell past his hips, acting as a cape for his lithe frame. He was dressed in a suit of colours so bright and patterns so disorienting it gave Martin a headache just looking at it. But what was most notable about the man, aside from his high-pitched drawling voice, was his fingers – long and spindly, as though there were several extra joints extending them to inhuman lengths. The man leaned one shoulder against the wall, his long fingers dangling at his sides. “I don’t-“

“What do you think, Helen?” the man addressed someone over Martin’s head – despite how tall Martin was, this man was significantly taller. Craning his neck, he saw another figure similar to the first one: a woman this time, with dark curling hair that stood straight up before falling to her waist, a spiralling colourful dress, a manic grin, and the same long fingers as the man. “The woman gets on my nerves, but the boy is quite cute.”

The woman, Helen, gave Martin a slow once-over. Martin felt like his skin was crawling, as though the woman was trying to see into his soul. “He is. Wonder if he’d be the boss’ type.”

“Woah!” Martin exclaimed indignantly. “I am not just a piece of meat, I’ll have you know! I don’t know what your boss is running here, but I’m not interested!”

The woman – Helen – chuckled. “Ooh, a feisty one. I like him, Michael.”

So these two were Michael and Helen. “Look, I just came to get my mum and head home. I’d appreciate if you let me do that.”

Michael clucked his tongue. “Shame. Though I suppose we aren’t in the business of taking prisoners, so alright. You can go.” With a click of his tongue, a door appeared to Martin’s left. The door was warped, yellow, and did not look trustful at all. “Go ahead, it’ll take you home.”

“How did you–“

“You should stay behind.”

Martin stared as his mother cut off his question of how Michael knew where he and his mother lived to gape at her. “I–what?”

His mother glared at him. “I’d really forgotten how dense you are, boy. Stay here. I can return home without you. I think I’ll be better off.”

Martin found he could barely form a single word. “Wh–I–Who will take care of you?”

His mother sniffed and made her way for the door. “I’ll find someone. Do not follow me. Perhaps you’ll mope less here.” And with that, his mother stepped through the door and was gone.

[aion-rsa]

Tumblr’s Top Fandoms of 2020

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It’s been a weird and often devastating year, and our social media has reflected that. Tumblr has just released its top fandoms of 2020 and it’s fascinating to see how a year of pandemic and quarantine has affected transformative fandom and broader cultural trends. In a year when almost everyone spent a lot more time at home, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was the most blogged about topic on the social media platform, followed by animated dramedy Steven Universe, Belgian SKAM adaptation WtFOCK, K-pop supergroup BTS, and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. We talked to Tumblr’s Trend Expert Amanda Brennan about how she interpreted the biggest trends of the year, how this was a big year for animation and international media, and why 2020 was the year everyone stopped worrying about what was cool and just embraced what they love. But, first, some 2020 Tumblr statistics:

Top 20 of 2020 

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Steven Universe

wtFOCK

BTS

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Artists on Tumblr

Critical Role

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Boku No Hero Academia

Black Lives Matter

Pokémon

COVID-19

The Witcher

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

The Magnus Archives

Reylo Rey & Kylo Ren, the Star Wars universe

RWBY

Sanders Sides

Catradora Catra & Adora, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Zuko | Avatar: The Last Airbender

Top 25 Ships 

Rey & Kylo Ren, the Star Wars universe (m/f)

Catra & Adora, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (f/f)

Richie Tozier & Eddie Kaspbrak, It (m/m)

Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier, The Witcher (m/m)

Aziraphale & Crowley, Good Omens (m/m)

Zuko & Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender (m/m)

Luz Noceda & Amity Blight, The Owl House (f/f)

Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Supergirl (f/f)

Park Jimin & Jeon Jungkook, BTS (m/m)

Dean Winchester & Castiel, Supernatural (m/m)

Live Action TV

Wtfock

The Witcher

The Mandalorian

Good Omens

Skam France

The Umbrella Academy

Doctor Who

Supernatural

The Untamed

Killing Eve

Animated TV

Steven Universe

Avatar: The Last Airbender

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

The Owl House

Invader Zim

Ducktales

The Dragon Prince

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Gravity Falls

TV Characters

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Zuko

Catra

Jaskier

Sokka

Adora | She-Ra

Geralt Of Rivia

Katara

Aang

Crowley

Aziraphale

Movies

Frozen

The Old Guard

Star Wars: Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker

Birds Of Prey

Twilight

Hamilton

Little Women

Parasite

Sonic Movie

Lord of the Rings

Movie Characters

Kylo Ren

Harley Quinn

Bucky Barnes

Batman

Steve Rogers

Tony Stark

Rey

Spinel

Peter Parker

Richie Tozier

Actors

Chris Evans

Henry Cavill

Sebastian Stan

Adam Driver

Tom Holland

Pedro Pascal

John Boyega

Robert Pattinson

Tom Hiddleston

Timothee Chalamet

Actresses

Katie Mcgrath

Jodie Comer

Daisy Ridley

Margot Robbie

Zendaya

Lili Reinhart

Naya Rivera

Brie Larson

Florence Pugh

Jodie Whittaker

Books

Harry Potter

Percy Jackson & the Olympians

Warrior Cats

The All for the Game series

Pride And Prejudice

Midnight Sun

The Secret History

The Raven Cycle series

Carry On

Six Of Crows

Authors of Books

J.K. Rowling

Rick Riordan

Erin Hunter

Nora Sakavic

Jane Austen

Stephenie Meyer

Donna Tartt

Maggie Stiefvater

Rainbow Rowell

Leigh Bardugo

Video Games

Animal Crossing: New Horizons

Among Us

Pokemon Sword And Shield

Undertale

Minecraft

Sims 4

Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Danganronpa

Overwatch

Persona 5

Video Games Characters

Obey Me Lucifer

Obey Me Mammon

Tom Nook

Link

Sans

Cloud Strife

Dandelion

Kirby

Raihan

Arthur Morgan

Animal Crossing Villagers

Raymond

Marshal

Poppy

Fauna

Julian

Claude

Marina

Stitches

Bob

Ankha

Anime & Manga

Boku no Hero Academia

Haikyuu!!

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Beastars

Naruto

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

One Piece

Fruits Basket

19 Days

Anime & Manga Characters

Midoriya Izuku

Bakugou Katsuki

Dabi

Wei Wuxian

Aizawa Shouta

Hawks

Todoroki Shouto

Kirishima Eijirou

Lan Wangji

Levi Ackerman

And, now, our chat with Brennan. (This Q&A has been edited for clarity and length.)

Den of Geek: I’ve heard you refer to the users as the Tumblr hive-mind or the orchid, whatever it is. I was just hoping you could generally talk about what the Tumblr hive-mind is to you? Which is the way of saying, who uses Tumblr generally? And how and why? If you can even extrapolate those things. Go!

Amanda Brennan: Most of our audiences is Gen Z; it’s at 48%. Our new user registration with Gen Z is even higher; I’m pretty sure it’s 60%. These are people who come to Tumblr because they love something so much they just want to share that love with people who love it as much as they do. I know that feels like a giant umbrella, but that’s the thing: Tumblr is what you make of it. If you love sports, sports Tumblr is intense hockey Tumblr, so good. If you love TV, you’ll have all of that. K-pop Tumblr, totally amazing. Furby Tumblr is off the hook and they make these incredible creations. I’ve recently gotten into Stained Glass Tumblr.

There’s layers upon layers. No matter what you love, there’s something on Tumblr for you. That’s both the easiest thing and the hardest thing about it. You have to go in being like, “Alright, I’m so into this thing, what does Tumblr have for me?” It’s not like the other social media networks, right? It’s really about what you love rather than who you know.

Yeah, I like that. I did want to ask you specifically about the process of how you track trends and how you make decisions about what to track?

We built the whole taxonomy that powers fandom metrics based on what Tumblr talks about. I’m a librarian, as you know, and I kind of reverse engineered it. My first year in review at Tumblr in 2013, they handed me a spreadsheet and they’re like, ‘OK, go to town.” So I was like, “Cool, let me pull out the threads that I see.” We really let the data tell us how to analyze it, if that makes sense. So when it comes to what we track, I have a running notebook that I’ve kept all year of the things that I’ve wanted to have in year in review.

The Witcher has been on my list since it came out. Animal Crossing has been another one. The Old Guard had a huge moment. I was just writing notes, like, “Oh, what is this thing? And we’ll keep an eye on it.” I have an amazing team. We all are into our own pieces of Tumblr. So we’ll all work together to just keep an eye on different fandoms. I don’t know if you know about Minecraft YouTuber fandom?

Yeah. I was actually listening to the latest Fansplaining last night and they mentioned it in that. I was just like, “OK, a new thing.” There’s always a new thing to learn about.

There’s always a new thing. That’s the beauty of Tumblr. It’s so fluid in fandom. You can go from one fandom to another and then you’ll see like, “Ooh, what is this thing?” I’ve got Supernatural on the brain, as who in the fandom doesn’t right now. [This interview was recorded on the day of the Supernatual series finale.] I was telling someone, the whole reason I got into Supernatural was because I saw a gif from the show on Tumblr and I was like, “What is happening? Let me go back and watch this entire series.” That’s the vibe of Tumblr, right? You see a thing and you’re like, “Oh, I need to know everything about that.”

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Hmm. Yeah, for sure. I was interested in talking to you or getting your insight into how trends you saw or data you saw that were maybe tied to the very unique experience of being in the middle of a pandemic.

Yeah. I was looking back at the predictions that I had made last year and like four of those things didn’t even come out. It was just so unexpected. There’s two things that we really saw tied to the pandemic. The first was “cottagecore” as an aesthetic. It kind of touched everything because it’s soothing, it feels comfortable. In March and April in the early days, when you didn’t know what to do, you’re stuck in a forest isolation. Cottagecore has got this vibe of chosen isolation. It was very fantasy-driven and something to reach out for.

That evolved also into nostalgia. I think this year’s really big theme is nostalgia and comfort. We saw huge returns to fandoms like Twilight and Avatar: The Last Airbender. Avatar going on Netflix was such a world-breaking moment. Not only did it introduce a new, younger fandom to the show, there’s a lot of Avatar content once you get into it, but it brought people back to a younger time in their lives. Remembering and rewatching. The Avatar fandom, as you see, it’s all over all of the lists. Zuko is number 20 on all of the things on Tumblr this year. Avatar was able to redefine people’s year. Because you know what, we’re all at home, I’m going to binge Avatar. Reignite my love for this fandom.

A lot of TV too, because TV is episodic, you get lost in it. Movies had a really rough year. When we look at the movies, movies like Megamind were trending this year. That comfort movie that you go back and watch 17 times.

Yeah. I was curious about that too. The balance or proportions between older fandoms and newer fandoms, like the Avatar example. I was curious how much that changed this year? How much you thought it was tied to the pandemic? How much is tied to accessibility and things, like Avatar coming to Netflix? Do you think that is an interest in older fandoms? Or that it’s going to continue past the pandemic?

Yeah. I think another high-level theme of this year is the rejection of cringe culture. I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but I’ll tie it all back in. I think people are realizing what their values are and not being afraid to admit that they like a thing. Not caring what other people think of the things they like. Unabashedly loving the things they love. That’s why I think we do see a resurgence in these older fandoms.

Because people who may have loved them their whole lives, or may have been nervous to share that they liked it when they were younger they’re not afraid anymore. They’re like, “You know what? Twilight, it’s not that great, but I love it. This is my emotional support vampire.” Recognizing that you can be critical of something. You can see where its flaws are, but you can still love it. That duality of fandom is something that is going to persist into next year. That freedom to just like a thing, because you like it. Be able to see its flaws, but still be like, “You know what? Overall, this brings me joy and the world is melting down.”

I’m on board with that mission, that plan for 2021. I did want to ask about the role of non-English language media, especially live action stuff. Generally because I was someone who fell into The Untamed this year, but I saw that there were two SKAM remakes as well that are on the top 10. In general, have you seen over your time at Tumblr, and maybe especially in the past few years, an increase in non-English language content? Do you think that is mostly English speakers and Americans being more open to that or being able to find it easier? Or do you think it’s also an influx of people from outside the United States coming to Tumblr? Or both?

Interesting. The data that we work with is actually stripped of all user information. I don’t really have an insight into where these people are coming from. I do think that users in general are more open to content in any language. Tumblr is more interested in characters than where the story comes from. Thinking about The Untamed, it’s just such a compelling story, it doesn’t matter if you have to read subtitles.

To parallel it to something in major pop culture, Parasite. People are becoming more open to just watching content because it’s good. SKAM is really fascinating to me because the number one live action show is wtFOCK. Then, I think two years ago, 2018, the original SKAM was number one at some point. This show really transcends language barriers. It transcends geographical barriers. At the core, the story of the teenagers is just so relatable to anyone. We’ve seen lots of translation happening and not just into English. Translation of SKAM into other languages, just because people want more of these characters and their iterations, no matter what locale they’re based in. I’m waiting for some professor to have a class on it, because it’s so fascinating to me.

I also wanted to ask about how you thought the election cycle affected Tumblr this year, if there were any trends or data that you were like, “Yes, of course this is what people were doing on Tumblr this year.”

Tumblr has always had this backbone of social justice. This year, it came out stronger and in more force. No matter what fandom you were in or interests, everyone I know on Tumblr was participating in sharing social justice stuff. Even politics, if they weren’t from the US, those kinds of memes that were like, “I feel for you”. The way that fandoms do. I see your show is ending and I’m sorry.

The one thing that Tumblr really had leading up to the election was such an appreciation for the postal service. Especially Gen Z, their world is so much larger due to digital connection. Mail order, just as well as sending letters and keeping in touch with your digital friends is just as important as keeping in touch with your IRL friends. All of the artists on Tumblr, so many of them turn to mail order to replace cons. This is their livelihood. By the time the fall hit and the postal service was having all these issues, people are ready to jump in. There were the Transformers dressed like mail people.

https://morethanmeetstheass.tumblr.com/post/626466946047705088/i-completely-forgot-to-post-this-guy-here-this-is

There were all these comments like “support your postal workers,” “support the USPS.” It really boils down to the fact that we are all connected and the mail service is something in the US that connects everyone. Even overseas. Supporting these artists whose livelihood went from IRL to online and having to deal with all of this.

And the “Super Putin Election.” The confluence of those elements. I was just surfing on my personal computer and I was on Tumblr and I saw a post being like “Destiel’s canon.” I’m like, “Excuse me?” I immediately texted my team. I was like, “Open up your work computers, let’s go.”

It’s time.

We all signed on trying to figure out what’s going on and watching the numbers. That, to me, is thrilling. I said this to someone else, but it felt like the night of The Dress. To have that moment where everyone on the internet is feeling the energy. The things that kept getting layered on top of it. Putin and Sherlock and all the anime mysteries. It was breakneck speed, and it was really thrilling just to be in that moment, and so Tumblr.

I did want to ask you about an increase in animated fandom and potentially anime fandom. A lot of these things I’m anecdotally or just observing things in my own little corner of the internet. It just seems like animation and anime, probably at least partially because Netflix has accumulated a much larger anime collection and seems to be investing in these sorts of things. Have you seen that increase? Could you talk about it, if so?

It plays into what we were talking about earlier, twofold. That nostalgia vibe, the late nineties anime vibe, that art style. Also your comfort zone and being open to more stuff just because it’s good. Not worrying about reading subtitles and stuff like that. But anime in general had a huge year. Haikyū!! ending also transposed into other fandoms because that moment of the final panels, it brings people together. People being so excited to see this massive thing come to a close. You might not be familiar with Haikyū!! in general, but you’ll see the fanart and be like, “Oh, I feel that.” It’s the emotion of it.

The popularity of Avatar did also open people’s doors to like, “Oh, well, what else can I watch? What else do I want to learn about”? Boku No Hero was consistently on our Week In Review every week. BEASTARS is another Netflix anime that’s at the top. Then Mo Dao Zu Shi, thinking about The Untamed, the story of Mo Dao Zu Shi is so fascinating. I don’t think I can name another piece of content that has that storyline. People are just ready to take it all on.

I did want to ask you, I think you’ve probably talked about some of these already, but what were some of the biggest fandom moments for you on Tumblr this year?

Oh boy. So many things going canon. Catradora was a huge, huge moment. I cried watching that. The Witcher, Jaskier, introducing this whole new world to Henry Cavill. I saw a post yesterday that was like once Superman was goth, a lot more people realize that he’s hot. Repurposing and looking at things in a new way. Among Us, so huge. There is a user who is doing a comic about White and Pink being in love. She’s giving them lore. She’s giving them backstory, personalities. It is amazing.

Unus Annus, I am not very into streamers, but I’ve caught some of those videos. When they had their final stream, I was tuning in. I was like, “Are you really going to delete the channel?” Then they did. Just watching the fans have that moment, even though I am not in that fandom, it was wonderful so meaningful.

Harry Potter being taken by the fans. Fans own Harry Potter now, and that’s what matters. The Old Guard also came out of nowhere and really blew Tumblr away. The Immortal Husbands. I love that ship. I’ve got to touch on almost all of the places, MCR, My Chemical Romance. Those fans have woken up and they didn’t get their tour, but they will. They’re not going to sleep until they do.

Because we maybe all have Supernatural on the brain, to a certain extent. I’m just curious how you think, that show’s been on for 15 years. The fandom has gone through literal generations. How do you think the fandom is going to change?

There’s always going to be a supernatural gif for everything. People will continue gifing it. It’s going to surpass what it is and it’s going to become that comfort show. This is a personal anecdote, but when I go to the dentist, every single time supernatural is on. It’s just like, “Oh, I get to watch my boys while I’m getting my teeth cleaned. That’s good.” It’s always going to be there. It’s always going to be there for people when they need it the most. We’re going to see a lot more fan creations. People love these boys, men now they’re adults. People love these characters. I haven’t watched this season. I am going to watch the finale tonight. I’m going in almost cold. I know that a lot of fan favorites have returned. My prediction for Supernatural fandom going forward is seeing these side stories come through in fanfiction even more than they already do. Lots more Charlie. That’s personal of mine because I love her.

I don’t think you’re alone in this.

Yeah. Who doesn’t love Charlie? Seeing these smaller characters come out and just shine in their own fan works, more so than the world might’ve provided them in canon.

It feels dangerous to make fandom predictions based on what happened this year, but if you have any predictions and or hopes for the coming year in terms of Tumblr and fandom?

Where we’re at now and going forward, it’s all about true authenticity. Screw what people think. We’re rejecting our old ways of thinking. We’re about flipping perspectives and forgetting what you thought was important in exchange for what you truly love. 2020 has helped us all figure out what our values at our core are. It’s about choosing something that makes you happy, that supports you, and your people. Choosing the happiness of those around you and making sure that you’re fighting for the goodness in life. Which sounds really sugar sweet, but one of the things, again, that I love about Tumblr is it is about putting people first based on the things they love. That’s what I see happening.

Explore the rest of Tumblr’s Year in Review lists here, and let us know what your biggest 2020 fandoms were in the comments below.

The post Tumblr’s Top Fandoms of 2020 appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3lPIRa9

[dem-obscure-imagines]

The Prince���s Girlfriend

Prince Zuko x Reader

Note: You voted! Here it is! I’ve lowkey had this idea bouncing around since I wrote the other one lmao hope you like it!! (This is the sequel to Time Traveler’s Daughter)

Warnings: None?

Word Count: 1.5k

Growing up the way you did, with a childhood split between worlds, you had a few groups of friends. You had the witchy group of friends that you celebrated solstice and other witchy holidays with, your dimension-hopping friends, who came to visit whenever it was convenient, and then, there were the mortal friends you had who lived in constant awe of your crazy life.

It was the third group that was assembled in your living room.

Given the recent events in your life, your mortal friends, who still didn’t know quite everything had proposed an Avatar marathon, and really, who were you to refuse? Zuko, who had moved in after jumping to your dimension, was currently in your room, playing the Sims on your computer. It was cute how obsessed he was with it. He’d made you and himself and moved you into a house and started a little family. It was heart-melting, really.

You were only on the first season when the boyfriend question popped up.

“I heard you’re seeing someone!” Your friend Devin said, smiling.

“I am!”

“Could we get some details, maybe?” Logan prodded, reaching over you to take a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

“Well, he’s handsome, first of all.” You giggled, blushing. “He’s got this really fiery personality, you know? Pretends to be all tough on the outside, but he’s got a heart of gold, a real prince.”

“Treats you like a princess?”

“Of course.” You nodded, grabbing some popcorn for yourself.

“Where’d you meet?” Devin asked, intrigued. Little did either of them know that the guy you were talking about was currently on the screen in all of his season one glory, ponytail, temper, and all.

“This little tea shop out of town.” You answered, smirking. Technically, nothing you’d said so far was a lie. Were you dancing around the truth? Of course. But that would only make it more fun whenever Zuko finally wandered out of your room and you got to officially introduce them.

It was pretty rare that your mortal friends got to meet people from the other parts of your life. The exception was the one time Tadashi Hamada had popped in to ask your dad a question about an assignment he was working on while you were having a movie marathon. Needless to say, they had been pretty surprised.

“How did he ask you out?”

“It was kind of a mutual thing. I liked him, he liked me…the rest is history.”

“Haha, that rhymed.”

“She’s a poet in love…” Logan sighed. He looked back to the screen in time to see Zuko yelling at someone about his honor. “Oof, I can’t wait for his season 2 hair.”

“Listen, fire boi ages like fine wine. Glow up of the century.” Devin agreed.

“Oh yeah. Big time.” You nodded. When you looked out of the doorway of the living room, through the dining room, and into the kitchen, you spotted Zuko standing at the fridge, getting a glass of water. He was wearing a gray sweatshirt, the hood pulled up over his head, so from the side, he just looked like some dude standing in your house. Certainly not the prince of the Fire Nation, and definitely not the handsome boyfriend you boasted so proudly.

“How’s the Sims going, babe?” You called and he looked over at you, grinning. From where they were sitting, Devin and Logan couldn’t see into the kitchen.

“Your boyfriend is here?” Logan asked, anticipation spreading across his face.

“Taking a break. My hand hurts.” He chuckled. “Mind if I come out there?”

“There’s a spot over here.” You scooted over and patted the spot beside you. “Come meet my friends.”

So, he walked into the living room, lowering his hood so your friends could get a better look at him. Devin paused the episode, his mouth hanging wide open as he looked back and forth between the prince’s cartoon form and his living, breathing one.

“Um, hi. I’m Zuko. (Y/N)’s boyfriend. Nice to meet you.”

“You’re kidding. No fucking way.” Logan stared for a long moment before finally looking at you for confirmation. “You’re—He’s—What the fuck?!”

“You never tell us when you go on cool dimension-hopping adventures!” Devin whined. “You’re dating Prince Fucking Zuko?!”

“Well, technically, he’s the Fire Lord now…” You chuckled to yourself, motioning Zuko over from his spot in the doorway. He was grinning, still not quite used to the idea that you and your friends had grown up watching him on your magical image boxes. Well, TVs, as you had taught him. “I meant to tell you sooner, I really did, but I thought it would be too funny to surprise you.”

“Good call, princess.” Zuko nudged you over the tiniest bit, sitting down next to you with his thigh pressed against yours. “That was hilarious.” He was about to ask what you were watching when he finally looked up at the screen to catch sight of his past self. He cringed. Ugh, he couldn’t believe there was ever a time he had…looked like that…acted like that. It was embarrassing that you had grown up seeing that version of him, even if he did change over time.

“Please tell me my redemption arch starts soon.”

“Well, we’re in the middle of the first season, so no. Not for a little while here.” You tugged Zuko’s arm around you and draped your legs over his thighs. “You’re so warm…” you mumbled into his hoodie, reveling in the rumble of his amused chuckle.

“Why are you always so cold, baby?” His fingers playing with your hair, he kissed your forehead. He looked up to find your friends still gawking at him. “You can…ask questions if you want.”

“Yeah, sure, how did this happen?” Logan cut to the chase, motioning between the two of you.

“Well, you see, for my graduation, Dad gave me a dimension-hopping watch and the first place I crash-landed was Zuko’s world. Sometime during season 2, I think, while he and Iroh were running the tea shop in Ba Sing Se.”

“And I fell head over heels in love with her, so once the war ended, I used her Dad’s tech to make an alternate ending for us.”

“You literally changed the timeline for her.”

“Yeah.” Zuko shrugged, winding his arm further around you.

“Love that for us.” You chuckled, nuzzling against him.

“Wait, but…didn’t you get with Mai after season 2? You were dating in season 3…” Devin was always the one to start fact-checking things when they seemed off. Honestly, you hadn’t even thought about that? Had the events of the cartoon played out the same way even though you’d interfered?

“It didn’t happen that way when I did it. I can point it out and tell you what happened when we get there,” he looked to you, “if you let me stay for the rest of the marathon, that is.”

“Of course you can stay, Zuko.” You giggled, kissing his cheek. “I’d like to hear your side of the story.”

And so he did. The marathon ran for what seemed like eternities, but it got more interesting once you finally reached the point after you left Ba Sing Se.

“I never went back to the Fire Nation. Iroh and I ran off and went on the road for a while. All of this…” He watched as the alternate version of himself made all of the choices he never would have made. “I can’t believe that’s the way it would have happened…”

“Sure, you got a little lost, but…you found your way back eventually. I think that’s why I liked you so much growing up. You made mistakes, but in the end, you learned from them and became stronger because of it.”

“Yeah?” Zuko looked down at you with that amused glimmer in his amber eyes.

“Yeah.” You nodded, a smirk slowly stretching across your features. “Well, that and you got really hot in Season 3.”

He snorted, nearly choking on the popcorn he’d been attempting to eat. “God,” he coughed, laughing, “don’t say things like that, you’re gonna make me choke. I didn’t come all the way from another dimension to die eating popcorn.”

“She’s not wrong.” Logan laughed, still absorbing what he and Devin had learned that day.

“Can confirm. Glow up of the century.”

“Oh shut up.” He shook his head, his cheeks getting redder every second.

You reached up and pinched one of them, laughing before pulling him in for a kiss. “You’re a real Prince Charming, you know that?”

“For you, princess, I’d be anything you wanted me to be.”

“Quit being cheesy, the hot firebender is talking.” Devin shushed the two of you as Zuko’s cartoon counterpart started to say something.

You grinned softly to yourself, leaning against Zuko, listening to his breaths, his soft laughter, taking in how good it felt when his fingers brushed through your hair. Your seven-year-old self and you were united in that moment, wrapped up in his strong arms with his lips pressing tender kisses to your forehead.

At long last, your prince had come for you, and you never wanted to go back.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: 💰 on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[rosaguard]

solivgnt replied to your post: she’s so pretty :pleading:

PLEASE tell me more

aetla replied to your post: she’s so pretty :pleading:

:ear:

it’s hard for me to talk about her before rambling a bit so here i go! her name is audrey cramer which is 1). a reference to my favorite actress ( audrey hepburn ) and 2). a reference to one of my favorite families ( the cramer women ) in my favorite soap opera, one life to live. i love ( love ) soaps; passions, all my children, and one life to live were my biggest favs even though passions was stupid most of the time looking back. the deaths of AMC / OLTL still hurt. but hey, general hospital, days, and the cbs soaps are still kicking even if i don’t watch them. the point of bringing this up is that the mini-story in my head with these characters in the sims is basically kind of a...love letter to soaps and the tropes they have ( the romance, the cheating, scandals, the star crossed lovers, the people who die but never stay dead, etc. ) but with a fantasy twist since the town is occupied by fairies, wizards, werewolves, etc.

anyway, audrey. while soaps are an ensemble, pretty much every single one has that one female character that ‘leads’ the show ( all my children had erica kane, one life to live had victora / vicki lord, general hospital still has laura spencer, days of our lives also still has its female lead, marlena evens, etc, etc. ) audrey is the ‘lead’ of [fictional town i haven’t fully decided the name of].

audrey is well... me. her name was literally my middle name back when i first created her back when my brother got me the sims 1 ( side note: i love my big bro. he’s great ). she’s always been black, she’s aways been a writer, and a hopeless romantic who just so happens to be good at things i’m not ( i hate cooking -> audrey ended up going into the professional chef career lmao ). she was basically built off the things young summer liked and did or either aspired to do or get better at. she is, quite literally, my idealized self i guess. ( i think her love interest may or may not have originally been based off this cute hispanic boy i spent all day at the pool with once one summer. did we dramatically look at each other through the gates when he finally had to go home? maybe. i was in love ya’ll!!! )

i literally had a journal in middle school were i wrote out stories between the characters - although looking back on it now, i would probably cringe since most of it would read like a trashy reality show to me ( for context, stuff like flavor of love / i love new york was at its peak back then ) rather than the well crafted soap that 13 year old me envisioned. however, instead of just...throwing all that away, i recently started to build this storyline in my head ( mostly b/c i’m not very fond of the sims 4 and want to find ways to keep myself invested in it ) and revamp parts i didn’t like. basically i asked: how can i make this interesting to me - even if it is, admittedly, self indulgent to my tastes? the answer was to start building a world which is...something i’ve never done before? and it’s still in like super, super infant phases b/c i haven’t been playing ts4 at all but it is something i want to work for my own enjoyment / challenge to myself.

SO. the beginning of the story has always started with audrey returning home for a funeral - her mother’s funeral to be exact. there’s a lot of baggage here due to the fact that 1). her mom is/was easily the most important in town, 2). the cramers, who are also witches, are seen as the ‘pillars’ of the community and thus someone needs to step up and take her mother’s place (i’m still debating on her mom’s new name  / whether i want it to be a soap character reference or not so that’s why i’m not saying a name), and 3). her mother’s death slowly begins to look more and more like a murder than a natural cause of death.

on top of all of this, audrey hasn’t been back home since graduating high school and leaving her HS sweetheart behind due to conflicting desires ( she wants to escape what she is - a witch / half faye via her father - and wants to leave it behind while he takes pride in his family and what he is - a werewolf. ( we all know they’re going to fall in love again but...slow burn baby ). 

audrey vc: can i catch a break here?

there’s also the fact that well...the cramers like all families are dysfunctional. before i touch on her sisters, however, i also have to mention another trope within soap operas. if a character (doesn’t matter if they’re a man or a woman) has multiple children then each child is basically guaranteed to have a different mom / dad  ( if a brother and sister on a soap have the same mom and dad, that’s actually a miracle lol ). that’s how it is with audrey and her sisters, serena and alexendra.

serena. the oldest who was originally the baby - although audrey tends to act more like it. literally gives not a single fuck(tm) about having magical powers and constantly leaves the council on read about becoming the new head now that her mother is dead. she’s single, constantly ready to mingle - in bed. basically fulfills the hot / steamy part of the ‘love in the afternoon’ part of soaps + is a person whose life is a mess and is always into something they probably shouldn’t be in.

alexenda. the baby who, at least back during the ts1 and ts2, was actually the oldest but things change!!! her personality has changed a lot because she used to be the oldest that was a nerd - i admittedly wasn’t invested in her back then as much as i am now. is more of a modern day hipster now who is an artist more than anything else. i’m still fleshing her new personality out so there’s not much here yet.

the momma without a name yet ( might just be marlena b/c while i’ve never been super into days of our lives, the character marlena literally got possessed by the devil twice and that should be honored tbh ). anyway, she dead. has had an antagonist relationship with esperanza kane since forever and may or may not have been sleeping around with her husband. oops. ( esperanza is the mother of christian, audrey’s ex. :))) )

anyway, this isn’t like....a deep plot. i’m very self aware about it. it’s messy and drama filled b/c that’s well...soaps lol.

bonus: they also have pets. the dog is named carly after a character from general hospital that’s always yelling and in people’s faces lol. the brownish cat is the mom’s cat, vicki (named after the ever wise victoria lord), who can speak and acts as an ‘advisor’. audrey’s cat is...victor manning who doesn’t think he’s a cat and would probably try to fight you in the street if he could - that’s what you can expect from a cat named that lol. he loves belly rubs though!!!!

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #18 (1980)

This is the kind of cover that probably kept me thinking this book was too adult for me and that I should just stick to Groo and Elfquest.

In Dave's Swords of Cerebus essay, he explains how he didn't know what the fuck he was doing when he was writing this story and I'll tell you a secret: it fucking shows. He explains how he wrote one idea but realized that idea wasn't going to work and then wrote some other ideas but they weren't going anywhere and then he went back to the first idea and wrote a small novella which still wasn't going to work so then he tried some other idea but couldn't really get anywhere and pretty soon his week that he plans for writing was over and he just had to start drawing one of the scenes. So he picked one and strung it out and then he needed a new scene and took the Lord Julius epilogue and stick that on page 5 and 6. By that time, he sort of had a new idea with the help of his brother-in-law and even though that new idea was pretty lame, what more could he do?! He doesn't admit that his new story is lame; I think he thinks he really pulled one out at the last minute. But it's really kind of lame. I get it though! He's written seventeen previous stories (plus some Cerebus stories that appeared in other magazines) and they were all pretty good and working toward building a portrait of Estarcion and Cerebus and some kind of weird aardvark mystery. He was due to slip up some time! I'm just glad he was honest about how the writing part when all wrong and since he couldn't fall behind on the art, he had to just kind of start drawing and hope for the best. I suppose in that regard, the comic wasn't so bad. It told a coherent story that moves Cerebus' plans for the invasion of Palnu ahead and Dave even gets some funny jokes in. But as far as the extended story goes, not much happens? Cerebus and the T'gitans took over Fluroc by murdering everybody in it and then needed more money for troops and they got more money for troops by conning a merchant that came to town. That's it! That's the whole story! Did we need this story? Probably not! But did we really need any Cerebus story so far? Almost certainly not (with the exception of all the stories that showcased new characters!). But what I really liked about this comic book was the Aardvark Comments section! Things are really getting good finally! It's not just a few nerdy nerds nerding it up for Dave Sim.

I mean, it is some nerdy nerds nerding it up nerdily!

The first letter is what I'm assuming was the introductory or cover letter from Marvel's Jim Shooter when he sent out contracts to prospective employees.

Is this the worst thing Jim Shooter ever wrote? Sadly, it is not.

If you're one of those people who like to describe 95% of everything as "cringe," you'll love Dave Sim's response:

Remember, this was 1980 and "written blackface as hyperbolic response" was probably just something taught in creative writing classes.

Casually whistling past the terrible method of his response the way you simply steer the conversation away from racist tirades every time your grandfather speaks up at Thanksgiving dinner, this feels like the first time Sim really calls out the two big publishers and how they conduct business. It'll become a hallmark of Dave Sim in his crusade for independent publishers. And this sarcastic and also racist response (I can only whistle nonchalantly for so long!) isn't his only response in this Aardvark Comments. But as his first response, I'll assume it's the most closest to how he truly feels about Marvel and DC. In 1980, he's already calling them out on their practice of stealing their employees' intellectual properties. Okay, "stealing." The contract is to make the "stealing" legal so they don't wind up in constant lawsuits and can continue to offer the artists whose creations make them scads of money little to no future compensation on their efforts. Dave Sim could think of no other attack on Marvel than to pretend he's a caricature of a slave. I'm not in disagreement with Dave here and, believe me, in 1980, I almost certainly wouldn't have thought the mintrelesque response was anything but a clever way of making his point. Although I was also 9 in 1980 so I probably would have had to ask an adult why the fuck Dave was writing like that. But as I said, there's more! The next letter is a bit of a response to Dave's crusade against the Big Two Corporations. And from his peers!

I guessed I missed the comments in Issue #15. I'd better go back and see what the Pinis were talking about.

Here's what Dave said in Issue #15's "Aardvark Comment": "Maybe Marvel can turn its corporate back on you. As they never grow tired of explaining, fan sales make up a very small fraction of their profits. They don't think much of your taste in comics, artists, writers or anything else." It's a little hard to parse this comment being that I don't know what was happening in comic books in 1980 concerning the fans and Marvel but doesn't this sound a lot like the Comicsgate argument of today? That Marvel doesn't give a shit about what its "real fans" want? Anyway, back to the Pini's letter. The Pinis' letter reads like Elfquest trying to talk Cerebus out of gutting a merchant. I suppose when you point out that artists and writers working for Marvel and DC are idiots for not publishing their work as an independent, I can see how they might get upset with you. I'm sure Richard and Wendy had a number of discussions with Marv Wolfman where Marv would say things like "I'm not dumb! You're dumb!" or "I'm not a piece of property! You are!" or "I'll show you who's a slave to the man! I'll kill Cyborg!" After that, the Pinis were probably all, "You know what? Criticizing work-for-hire in the comic book arts just isn't worth all these Marv Wolfman tantrums. Let's just bite our tongues." After a couple of letters from some nerd groupies in which Dave laments the target audience of comic books, he responds more in length to the . . . well, wait. Let's first look at his response about his core audience!

I'm offended! I always fix it immediately when a headlight goes out.

I mean, after seventeen issues, "Aardvark Comment" is finally getting interesting! Okay, so now to Sim's actual response to Wendy and Richard Pini.

Dave Sim being serious. Probably.

I'd like to point out the end of this letter in which Dave states fairly plainly the main theme of criticism behind Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea for nearly a decade: "I just don't happen to think that the system in operation now is the best thing for this medium and that it is not the most conducive way to get the best from the creative talents that exist. Quite the opposite, it seems to encourage half-assed efforts in order to guarantee that you are not surrendering your rights to something of value. And how many of us, Steve Gerber included, could know in advance that our ducks were of any value?" This was as true in 1980 as it is now. It's just that in 1980, it was much harder and a lot more work to retain the rights to your creations through self-publishing. So most comic book writers and artists were doing their best work at DC and Marvel. What other reasonable choice was there? Dave and Deni have discussed multiple times across the last dozen and a half issues how hard self-publishing has been for them. Now imagine a company like Image exists or a place like Kickstarter. Creators now know to save their best ideas for places that will give them full control and full potential earnings on their creations. DC and Marvel can't help but be full of writers doing half-assed jobs with their half-assed ideas and saving their truly monumental and mind-blowing work for Image or another, now more easily accessible independent publishing venture. This was in 1980 and Dave Sim was seeing creators screwed out of future royalties on ideas that wound up making fortunes for the parent companies. Some people accept this as business as usual and would be able to garner no sympathy for a creator stiffed out of royalties. But those people are unimaginative, pitiable, and sad. Something being legal has never in the history of everything been a convincing argument that that something is ethical, moral, or just fucking compassionate. Hopefully this "Aardvark Comment" begins to stir some serious discussion with Cerebus readers because I'm eager to read a lot more of Dave's thoughts about comic book publishing and fandom. Eventually there won't be a whole lot of separation between the comic book and the letters page. I mean, when the author inserts himself into the story as both some sort of omniscient being and also another fictionalized author, it gets hard to separate what you believe from the ideas expressed within the story. Cerebus #18 Rating: B-. That rating was for the lackluster story! The "Aardvark Comment" page gets an A! Oh, and I forgot to mention "The Single Page!" Imagine my surprise when I turned the page and saw this:

Tim Kreider in 1989! (Remember, this is from the 1989 Bi-weekly reprints of the 1980 Cerebus #18.)

You can just see Tim's eventual style in these early characters. The main male character is basically a baby-faced version and immature style of his eventual renditions of himself.

This is from Tim Kreider's book of essays and cartoons, We Learn Nothing.

I can't recommend Tim Kreider's essays and cartoons highly enough. Read his books, We Learn Nothing and I Wrote This Book Because I Love You and maybe search the Internet for a cache of his old cartooning website. You probably won't be disappointed. I say probably because I've learned that a lot of people on the Internet aren't exactly like me like I expect you all to be. Idiots.