#I literally can't stop thinking about her

[bvidzsoo]

Deep inhale...OMG I'm gonna munch on your cheeks in a few weeks, Mina, this feedback is just...so scrumptious, I love you so much, I'm definitely not kicking my feet AHH

Your hatred for Snow always cracks me up because as much as I hate him just like you do, I'm also a sucker for him because they made Donald Sutherland play him (may he rest in peace, I loved him so much).

I can't believe you have beef with this Yunho too, like pls, he's literally THE best guy out there, especially in this Universe. He wants what's best for the MC and is looking out for her in ways nobody else would, ACK. I'm glad her anger came off as it was supposed, because she's had enough of being a puppet.

I literally became joongrami the moment finnick showed up 🐿️

AHAHA, you are Joongrami, what are we even talking about??

As always, you're amazing at keeping the original HG characters true to their personalities in the real franchise, but also your own OCs, like Mingi still being jumpy.

Not writing a biblically accurate Finnick would've landed me in hell, and I couldn't let that happen AHAHAHA. I'm just maybe also in love with the man, and the Mingi I created in this Universe, oops...

Istg it wouldn't be a bvidzsoo fic if there weren't a few yungi elements in it 😭 IM NOT COMPLAINING THO, I love myself some yungi content

MAN, I'm taking that damn Yungi agenda to the GRAVE with me, I cannot be helped like...how do I stop? I don't even want to stop HAHAHA

NAH FAM THEY BROUGHT OUT HOLOGRAMS OF HER DEAD FAMILY?? ?THATS EVIL OMG. AND AS IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL HER???😭

no rest for the wicked, insert debby ryan smirk

YOU CANT FIND THIS TALENT IN POETRY BOOKS DEEP INSIDE LONG LOST LIBRARIES ALRIGHT LADIES AND GENTS???? I PRESENT TO YOU ARI, ONE OF THE BEST WRITERS OUT THERE OH MY-

MAN STOP THAT! I know I say this often, but you're too sweet and kind lol, thank you for being my nr.1 supporter, writing has been even a bigger of a joy since we've become mutuals, and then FRIENDS<3

AND YOU CALL ME EVIL JJOONGRAMI, MATTER OF FACT YOURE EVIL BECUASE WHAT THE FAWK WAS THAT???? I LITERALLY SHOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT SAYING MINUS ALL THE DYING. MC LITERALLY ASKED HIM NOT TO LET HER GO AND HE FUCKING DISAPPEARS EWRFJEWKENFK. YUNHO BETTER NOT BE DEAD OMG-

AHAHAHA, if it helps, Yunho isn't dead just...yk...in the Arena, being Peeta nr2 and brainwashed to hurt our MC even more...but if it helps, I think they have a happy ending. If it was up to me, he'd end up like Finnick but I know you'd literally hunt me down after what I 'did' to HP!Seonghwa so, yeah...<3

Thousand Miles, just to get you back

 𖥧 District 7 ꒷ this beautiful district is lush with trees, from which these citizens supply our lumber and paper, victors: Blight, Johanna Mason

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: victor!Jeong Yunho x victor!female reader

 𖥧 Warning: suggestive, sexual tension, cursing, ptsd, violence, blood, gore, use of weapons, murder, decapitation but not too graphic, mental manipulation and trauma, alluding to forced sex work and sexual assault, if I missed any, lmk!  𖥧 Word count: 28.7k  𖥧 Rating: mature, nc-17  𖥧 Genre: Hunger Games!au, rivals to lovers!au, set during the Quarter Quell, Catching Fire book  𖥧 Summary: You didn't want this, but then again, you were sure nobody wanted to face the repercussions of being a victor. You hated your life and you hated everyone around you, never trusting a soul again. Whatever President Snow has put you through after your Games was unforgivable and your only solace lay in Finnick Odair, who understood you and your pain. But it didn't end there, no, it never would with Jeong Yunho, another victor, always breathing down your neck and hogging you as if his life depended on it. You didn't like him and you didn't trust him after what he'd done to you despite being your mentor in your Games. And when the 75th Hunger Games come around and President Snow announces that the tributes this year will be the reaped victors, your world comes crashing down, forcing you to do things you never thought you'd do again. But if it meant Panem would be free, you'd do it again.

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! This part took longer but the word count is also...higher. The story is set during the Catching Fire book, but of course, I took creative liberty and changed up some things, I hope you'll enjoy them! I apologize if the action packed scenes are lackluster, I really tried my best while not making it too graphic. I think Yunho's part is my favourite from my HG series, although Mingi's has a special place in my heart. President Snow can die in a ditch for what he did to Katniss and Peeta, no matter how much I like his character, I'll always hate him! This part is really angsty imo so buckle up, you'll be going through it with our MC. I don't think I have anything else to say other than I hope you enjoy and that I love hearing your feedback, so don't be shy! <3 Thank you for reading! divider

            For the past two days, the sky had been covered in dark rainclouds, lightning flashing across the sky every few minutes, the thunder shaking the earth as I stood perched on the windowsill with a cup of warm chamomile tea with plenty of honey in it to make anyone nauseous, even those who enjoyed sweet things. My eyes followed the raindrops as they rapidly slid down against the window, forehead pressing against the cool surface as I could see the reflection of my eyes in it. The house was quiet, so quiet that those who didn’t know would’ve thought the mansion was vacant. Because the victors' houses could easily pass as mansions, bigger than even the mayor's house, it was quiet and cold inside too, the harsh rain welcomed as it cooled the relentless summer heat with which everyone seemed to be struggling. It was truly a blessing to be forced to stay inside my house, with no one to bother me for days on end as nobody from the district was brave enough to venture out in such a harsh downpour. Not that I had anyone in the district who cared for me, I was on my own.

Everyone I once loved was gone. It was solely my fault. I had naively refused President Snow’s little bargain when I looked him in the eyes with an arrogant look and told him to ‘get fucked’. My family, gone for almost five years now, were dead before the train could even take me back to District 7 from the Capitol. Our house, small but spacious enough to house my parents, my two siblings and me, was empty when the train had dropped me off. At first, when no one from my family awaited me on the platform, I had a feeling they might’ve been planning a surprise for me, I wouldn’t put it past them. But when I returned to an empty and cold house with a single note lying on the kitchen table, I knew. It was my fault that all of my loved ones were six feet under, their lives taken away by my foolishness. I would never stop blaming myself, I didn’t want to stop blaming myself. The constant numbness that was wrapped around my heart was a harsh wake-up call to the horrors of the world I was forced to live in.

The Hunger Games had seemed like a nightmare, they were a nightmare, but what came after was the real nightmare. The terror, the pain, the uncertainty and the��coldness that followed after having returned home, forced me to face the reality that I was no more than a pawn President Snow could play with however he wished, it hurt. I had been an independent person my whole life. I didn’t need anyone and I knew I would survive on my own if the circumstances forced me to, hence the reason I remained confident that I would return alive from the Games, and the arrogance to put my ego aside and keep my family safe, at last, weren’t worth it. If sleeping with countless men was what would’ve kept my family alive, if only I had known this back when Snow proposed it to me, I would’ve accepted it. I would’ve ignored the disgust I felt and done it without trying to rebel against the only man who could cut off my wings. And he did, he did cut off my wings, right from the root, ripping them out without mercy. At last, my family’s death was in vain. They were gone and I still bedded a different man each night spent at the Capitol, each one of them sent by Snow as a constant punishment to remind me that just because my loved ones weren’t here anymore to be held over my head, he could still do it, Snow could still torture me.

And so, turning my back on everyone and living in solace had been completely my choice. I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t want to be touched by anyone. I was disgusted by my own body and could never look at myself for too long. Whether my hair was long or as short as a boy's, men would still want me. Whether I ruined my face with makeup or kept it neat, they would still ravish me. In the end, nothing I did mattered. Beauty was pain sometimes, but I was too scared to maim myself, to ruin the pretty face every man in the Capitol lusted after. Snow knew too that I couldn’t do, and he enjoyed my silent pain mixed with rage, grinning at me whenever we crossed paths, taunting me with words against which I couldn’t fight back. It would be a never-ending cycle until my last day on earth and I had accepted it, numbing myself to all emotion to the point that I was just a soulless walking body, uncaring, unfeeling.

My body jolted from its slouched-over form as rapid knocks disturbed my peace, becoming louder and louder the longer I ignored them. The rain was pouring harder, lightning more frequent across the sky as thunder shook the ground, making me flinch when instead of knocking, my doorbell was being rung relentlessly. I knew who it was, I knew because today was a big day. President Snow would make his annual announcement about the Hunger Games, the same old speech, the same old rules. But something felt different, ever since Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark became victors, there were whispers in the districts, feeble words of a different future which felt closer and closer to us. Something was changing and I, as usual, wasn’t included in the grand scheme. I was a mere spectator, twirling around Snow’s fingers however he wished me to. When the doorbell’s rings turned into aggressive bangs against the front door, I released an irritated sigh and stood from my spot, storming towards the one that dared disturb my solace.

“What!” I snapped as I yanked the door open, not surprised that I had forgotten to lock it once again. Of course it was him, it was always him. I hated his face, I hated his voice, I hated his presence. I hated his whole being, and so I didn’t wait for an answer as I went to slam the door in his face, but he was fast, arm already pushing against the door as if he could read my mind.

“The muffins will get soaked, just let me in.” His boyish voice was loud as he spoke over the raging storm, his voice deep but somehow still soft. It was annoying, the ease he carried himself with, the constant serene expression on his face was infuriating. He never looked like he struggled and I was sure he just simply didn’t. He just floated through life, taking whatever it threw his way, just to laugh it off at the end of the day and start over the next one. I hated him.

“Get lost.” I hissed and pressed my full body against the door, wrestling against the desperate man on the other side of the door.

“Are you for real right now?!” He exclaimed, voice incredulous as I let one eye peek over the edge of the door, taking in his form. His hair was damp and his cardigan was slightly soaked by the rain, but as long as he stood in front of my door, he’d be protected by the balcony above his head.

“Yes!” I exclaimed and suddenly yanked the door towards myself, hoping it would throw him off balance and I could shut it in his face, but he was smarter, and thus, he swiftly slipped inside, grinning at me victoriously. I scowled as I slammed the door closed behind him, pressing myself up against the sturdy wood as he uncaringly shook his hair, like a dog, and then stepped out of his shoes.

“I made blueberry muffins,” He beamed as he held up the tray covered by a napkin, which was halfway soaked through, “Your favourite!”

He was right, blueberry muffins were my favourite, but they were from him and I’d rather not eat them.

“I don’t want them.” But by the time I was finished talking, he was headed for the kitchen as if this were his house. Albeit, the layout for the victor houses was the same, but this wasn’t his house and he shouldn’t just walk around as if he owned it. I hated it when he disregarded me, remaining his authentic self of a joy ball, pretending like he didn’t see my sharp glare nor hear my muttered insults. And I hated him, eyes glued onto his tall body as I followed after him to the kitchen. He was tall enough that he could see well the contents of the cupboards on the top shelves as he opened them, looking for a smaller plate. I could’ve told him where they were, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to him unless it was a complete must. He made a sound when he finally found the right cabinet, back muscles straining even through the cardigan he wore as he moved around my kitchen as he belonged in it. His build was massive, not too muscular but certainly not as lean as it used to be, and he towered over most men of our district. People were tall here, we had to climb trees, yielding an axe as we worked with lumber, but Jeong Yunho seemed to exceed what was the norm. And despite his intimidating build, his face was gentle and soft, eyes twinkling with life in them and pink lips pulled constantly into a radiant smile. His cheeks were almost always rosy, not because he blushed easily, but because he was fair-skinned and even the smallest bruise would be visible on his body.

“But I baked them for you—”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want them.”

Yunho and I had been a mentor pair for a good five years now, sent off to the Capitol during the Hunger Games, forced to watch two children die each year. Children that we knew, that we swore to train and protect as best as we could, children that ultimately were just children and would die at the hands of bigger and stronger children. Because that’s what the Games were, a sick and twisted way of punishing the districts for daring to disobey the Capitol, for trying to overthrow it due to the mistreatment they constantly faced. So, they took children between the ages of thirteen and eighteen and sent them off to their deaths each year, except for the ones like Yunho and myself, who returned as victors. Yunho was barely two years older than me but the passing of time seemed to miss him each year as his face remained youthful, and only morphed into more handsome features, unlike myself, who struggled with bags under my eyes on the daily and did everything to look less pale but ultimately, I failed, looking older than my age or Yunho. It was unfair, even in this, he was better than me.

Yunho paused as his eyes met mine and he gulped, a flicker of uncertainty flashing through his features, only to be replaced by that annoying soft smile which was always present on his face, “My mother would be really disappointed if you refused them, Y/N. She helped too.”

His mother, Yunho’s family, were still alive. His older brother worked hard despite them being rich now due to Yunho’s income as a victor, and his father had retired to pursue a much simpler career. He liked fixing cars, so, now those used by the woodsmen were all brought to Mr. Jeong for fixing or maintenance. Occasionally, I even saw Peacemakers stop by, keen on keeping it hushed that they asked a simple mechanic from the district to fix their vehicles. It was cheaper this way, Mr. Jeong didn’t charge much, it was just a hobby, after all.

“Fine,” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as Yunho’s smile widened into a pleased grin, “Just leave them on the counter.”

He nodded and placed the blueberry muffins on the small plate before he threw the crumbs into the trash, rinsing the tray at the sink. I remained standing, keeping the table and even counter between us, never keen on standing close to Yunho. His scent was too strong, it irked my nose, and it made me sneeze too easily. Perhaps I was allergic to his cologne—to his whole being, perhaps. Once he was done, the tray left by the sink to dry, his eyes slowly shifted, landing on my tense face. I wasn’t happy to have him over, he knew it. Yunho knew I didn’t like him, yet he never stopped imposing on my peace of mind—it was truly disgruntling.

“You weren’t going to watch it, right?” His voice was quiet. Unfortunately, Yunho also knew me too well, much to my displeasure. I stopped watching the announcements three years ago, tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I didn’t answer as I averted my eyes, jaw clenching at the warm ambers that swum in Yunho’s eyes that had the colour of warm chocolate, “I—I think you should, this year. I’ll stay, it starts in five minutes—”

“I don’t want you to stay.” I said, voice cold as my eyebrows furrowed, looking back at Yunho, “And I won’t watch it, Yunho.”

He gulped, but suddenly his happy demeanour dropped as he placed his hands on the counter, “You know the districts had been stirred with Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark’s win, I think we should watch it this year, together.”

“Just go, Yunho, before the nightfall.” Due to the big storms, electricity would be cut off at twilight and people weren’t allowed to leave their homes. The forest was eerily quiet, with the absence of the lumberjacks, the wolves became too brave, too daring, and they would venture past the District’s boundaries and inside the town, devouring whoever they came across. The Victor’s Village of District 7 was right by the forest, it wasn’t smart to go outside at night. But, in all true Yunho fashion, he shook his head with pursed lips.

“Snow’s speech barely lasts three minutes, maybe he’ll make it five now that he’s mad at Katniss Everdeen.” Then he grabbed a muffin and grinned, “I’ll have one if you don’t mind.”

My jaw clenched when he turned on his heels and headed for the living room, the anthem loudly flooding my otherwise quiet house as I heard the sofa creak, Yunho’s big body settling on it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, telling myself that he would be gone before I could blink. Even if the wolves ate him, I wouldn’t let him stay the night, not tonight, not ever. Jeong Yunho wasn’t someone I could trust, his faux kindness and softness were all but a mask which hid his true intentions. I had seen beyond the cracks of his good manners and big heart, and I knew he wasn’t all that different from those from the Capitol. All those years ago, almost six now, he had been my mentor, the only person who was supposed to help me and protect me from the outside as much as he could while I fought for my life in the Games, instead, Jeong Yunho, everyone’s favourite golden boy, went ahead and turned on me.

My legs carried me over to the living room before I could register what I was doing, body tense despite knowing the same old shenanigans would happen this year too. Except that this year a Quarter Quell was happening, this year it was the 75th year of the Hunger Games, and that meant something unusual would happen. It was the third Quarter Quell and the last I’d heard of was horrible, the number of tributes had been doubled, meaning forty-eight children fought for survival and it was Haymitch Abernathy who became the victor, the now drunkard mentor from District 12. Katniss Everdeen was a smart girl, I watched her closely while she fought in that arena, but Haymitch also did his best when he realized the potential she had. Something Yunho never bothered doing for me while he was my mentor, it still left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. Caesar Flickerman went on about the wedding of Katniss and Peeta before he announced that President Snow would take the lead now.

The sofa creaked under my weight too as I settled as far away from Yunho as possible, his chewing quiet as he cast me a quick glance, a small smile playing at his lips. I ignored him, my body shivering when President Snow’s face was the only thing I could see on the TV. Even after all these years, he still made me feel repulsed whenever I saw him, muscles tensing and my body wanting to coil up in a ball as if that could protect me from his cruelty.

“And now we honour our third Quarter Quell,” President Snow’s tone was determined, confident, and almost coy as a boy stepped forward, holding a box which President Snow opened. He reached inside it, moving envelopes around until his fingers gripped the one with a clear 75 on it. I gulped, feeling irrationally nervous all of a sudden as if I would be reaped next, as if I was back in time standing in the crowd of girls, awaiting the name of the female tribute who’d have to head to the Capitol this year. Yunho could never sit still for too long, always fidgeting or fussing around, but now, even his body was frozen, eyebrows furrowed as I stole a glance at him. He had finished eating the muffin and the little foil it had been in was now crumpled into his fist, “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.”

The lights of the TV became a blur as I remained seated, staring ahead, ears ringing as President Snow’s words echoed in my mind. For a split second, the world stopped turning, my lungs failed to inhale the much-needed oxygen. And for another split second, I felt my body tremble, my mouth falling open as Caesar Flickerman’s shrieks of surprise and excitement echoed through the eerily silent house, Yunho’s body unmoving on the other end of the sofa. I couldn’t hear his otherwise loud breaths, I couldn’t even feel my own body. And when reality dawned more upon me, the very high chance that I was going back inside that wrenched Arena almost six years later, nothing else really mattered. The TV went silent with a sickeningly loud crack as the remote control flew into it, shattering it into pieces. My lungs were heaving for air as I sprung up from the sofa, a scream tearing through my throat as I stared at my reflection in the broken TV. I looked mad, my eyes were wide, my cheeks red, my body visibly shaking as my thoughts were clouded with suppressed memories, all the pain, suffering, mourning, the great feeling of loss of sanity, of control over myself.

I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go back inside that Arena.

And before I could rationalize my thoughts, control my urges and blink away the red haze that’s settled over my vision, my fingers were gripping a heavy ornament from the side table, swinging it across the room as it crashed loudly against the display window of the massive cupboard on the other side of the room. It felt satisfying to hear something break, something of material that reflected my inner world perfectly, and made the fall less painful as my legs carried me over the bookcase, yanking off every book I could grab. My body wanted to destroy, desperate to release all the turmoil that clouded my senses, the trauma that bit and licked at my flesh almost mockingly, President Snow’s snake-like eyes burned in the back of my mind, always taunting, always elated as he watched others suffer.

My hand burned when I touched the sharp edge of the vase I had broken solely with my grip, but I couldn’t stop. The pain I felt muted the screams that threatened to tear past my throat, the tears that stung my eyes but never rolled down, and the hollowness inside my chest that only seemed to grow bigger, swallowing more and more of my being. I had no one to lose anymore, just myself. But I hadn’t been myself since I had won the Games, so was I really losing someone? I had no one to return to even if I won, President Snow has made sure of that a long time ago. There weren’t many victors in District 7, not that I was on good terms with anyone. I’d either return without the male tribute or neither one of us would. My lungs burned as I gripped another ornament off the bookshelf, less heavy but very breakable as I raised my arm high, freezing at the nimble call of my name.

My chest was rising and falling rapidly as if I had run a marathon, muscles tensing more when I remembered I wasn’t alone. No, someone was here with me, in the living room, someone who knew what it meant to go back into the Arena, someone whose cheeks were tear-streaked. I gulped, eyebrows furrowing as I looked at Yunho, fingers curling tighter around the porcelain doll. It had been my younger sister’s, was I truly going to break it?

“Y/N.” Yunho’s tone was low, harsh, and shaking. I gulped, my breaths ragged as they puffed through my nose loudly, and my jaw clenched when Yunho’s face contorted in pain, reflecting what I felt on the inside. But he couldn’t stop me, my bones shook with rage and fear and before I could think more about it, I threw the porcelain doll at Yunho, who easily caught it as if he had been anticipating it. It only angered me more as I grabbed another one, my younger sister used to have a collection, and flung it at Yunho again.

“Get out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, throwing a third porcelain doll he caught again easily, my voice raw as I wanted to sob, but my throat felt tight, unable to release any shrill sounds. When Yunho failed to move from his spot, I screamed again and pushed everything off the coffee table with one strong shove, ready to flip the heavy table over.

“Stop, Y/N, just stop.” Yunho’s voice had lost its softness, it sounded panicked and pained at the same time, begging me as I refused to acknowledge him. No, he couldn’t stop me, nobody could. I wasn’t going back there, I wasn’t going to fight for my life again, he couldn’t make me—President Snow couldn’t send me back there, not again. Not after I lost everything in vain, I didn’t want to do it again, I didn’t want to relive the terror, the struggle, and I didn’t want to feel so alone when I returned, I was scared of facing the dark on my own again. I had barely learned how to cope with the night terrors on my own, with the numbness that chilled my limbs, with the desperate yearning for connections, for a gentle touch, for words that warmed my heart, I barely learned how to live without those. I couldn’t do it again, I couldn’t—I gasped when I felt strong arms wrap around my torso, immobilising my hands and body as the embrace was tight, “No! Let me go, Yunho, no!”

I pushed, I yanked, I even bit his shoulder until he was groaning, but he didn’t budge. He was sniffing, loudly and unashamedly, but his embrace only became stronger and tighter, more and more suffocating. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight as his musky scent entered my nostrils, wrapping around me like a cocoon, his big body like a shield from the cruel world. My skin burned where he touched, and my limbs trembled as I tried to put space between our bodies again, but Yunho wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

“I’m here,” He muttered and I felt him raise his arm, freeing my left side, as his hand held the back of my head, pressing my face further into his neck. His skin was hot, but it was soft and it’s been too long since I came in contact with any other person, it made my knees weak as my mouth parted to hurl more insults at him, but I wasn’t able to voice them, “I’m here, Y/N, we’re in this together. I won’t let anything happen to you, we’ll get through this. Together. Like we always do.”

“No, no, no.” I muttered as my fingers twisted into his knitted cardigan, my heart racing in my chest painfully, “Leave, Yunho, just go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He snapped, but his arms weren’t holding me so tightly anymore. His long fingers felt cold against my scalp as they tangled against my long locks, slowly running them through my ginger hair, resting his chin against the top of my head. I loathed this, the warmth of his body, the willingness to offer me comfort, I hated him.

“I hate you, get away from me.” Yet despite my mouth speaking one thing, my body screamed another as my arms swiftly circled his torso, yanking Yunho’s body into mine. I wasn’t fighting my lungs for air anymore, I was able to breathe regularly once again, but everything felt so cold still, so numb. It wasn’t enough, Yunho’s big body pressing against mine so firmly, so eagerly as a reminder that he was here wasn’t enough anymore, and I felt weak when a whimper left my mouth, my head turning until I could hide it in the crook of his neck, nose pressing where his shoulder and neck met. His cologne was familiar, it was something I knew too well, it helped my mind relax as I felt Yunho shift his head away, warm lips pressing against the top of my head once, then twice, and then once again. His other hand dropped lower until his large palm pressed against the small of my back, and I shuddered when I felt his cold fingers slip underneath my blouse, skin on skin.

It was hard to think straight when Yunho was all over me, when his fingers explored and his mouth quivered with quiet sighs, his presence overbearing and insistent. It chased away the ever-present cold that settled into my bones, replacing it with a small flicker of something that made me hate myself. I couldn’t trust him, not after he so unashamedly tried to kill me, yet he was the only one who knew me. Yunho was the only person in this whole world who saw the real me, who saw past my coldness and walls I built to protect myself, he was the only one willing to stick around despite how off-putting I was. And it hurt, it burned, it consumed my thoughts in the dead of the night when a night terror awoke me, when all I could do was yearn for a body to hold, for soft words to be whispered into my ears, for lips that healed instead of ruined, for a touch that put me back together instead of breaking me further apart. And I wanted to take and take, to consume until nothing was left of him, until he couldn’t offer me anything more of himself because I had already taken all.

I felt tears streaming down my face when Yunho’s fingers gently traced my spine, driving my fingers to grip his cardigan harder, muscles cramping, but too afraid to let go. His hot breath fanned over my cheek as he lowered his head and I felt his insistent chocolate brown eyes on me, neither full of pity or regret, just understanding and yearning. Much without thinking, but because I didn’t want him to see me at my weakest, I turned my head further into his neck until my lips brushed against his flushed skin, making him shudder. And because my lips yearned just as much as the rest of my body, I let them explore his soft skin, gently pressing them against Yunho’s neck as he gasped quietly. His fingers tangled into my hair when I raised my head slightly, placing another kiss higher on his neck, and he was still gentle, he didn’t yank on the long strands despite being able to. My breath fanned against his hot skin as I let my mouth open, peppering his skin with gentle kisses until I reached his jaw, teeth nipping at the sharp bone. Yunho’s body was trembling and his head was angled lower, his breaths audible as he breathed through his nose.

The familiarity of his embrace was dizzying, the churning of my stomach nothing new as I detached myself from his warm soft skin, pulling my head back until I could stare into his eyes. They were darker, pupils bigger, and his lips looked slightly swollen like he had been biting the bottom one. Yunho’s full cheeks were flushed and his Adam’s Apple bobbed when he gulped, his eyes searching my face as his fingers untangled from my hair and instead gently traced my jaw, holding onto my chin as he tilted my head further up. My eyes fluttered for a second when our lips were angled perfectly against each other, Yunho’s breath fanning over my mouth making me shudder. Releasing my tight hold on his cardigan, I cupped his cheeks, almost keening as I pressed up on my tiptoes, my eyebrows furrowing as our noses pressed together, slowly nuzzling against each other. Yunho gulped again as his lips parted for his tongue to poke out, wetting the red flesh, and I blinked, dread settling deep in my stomach.

When Yunho leaned forward, pressing a slow kiss against my forehead, my body froze, my heart suddenly hammering against my ribcage. Something was wrong, the numbness was back, the pain, the terror. I couldn’t breathe anymore, Yunho’s musky cologne irking my nose as I could feel an oncoming sneeze, and I gasped when his lips tenderly kissed down the slope of my nose, making my fingers dig into his cheeks painfully. I was scared, I was scared because all of a sudden I realized I had something to lose. I have always had something to lose, even when President Snow thought he had taken everything and everyone away from me, he forgot about one person.

He forgot about Jeong Yunho.

As if his touch burned, I pushed him away, watching as confusion and hurt flashed in Yunho’s eyes upon my rude rejection. I could feel myself trembling, Yunho’s addicting warmth disappearing with him, making me shake my head as I felt my bottom lip tremble, “Get out.”

My voice was hoarse and filled with pain, and Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed as thunder cracked loudly in the distance, making me jump. It had become darker outside, way too dark for anyone to step out, but Yunho’s house was the one opposite mine. The wolves couldn’t have him, even if they wanted to. With a lasting stare, his eyes searching my face for a hint of whatever he had seen just seconds ago, Yunho sighed deeply, hanging his head low.

“Try to rest, please.” He muttered before he turned on his heels, and marched out of the living room, the door slamming shut louder than any thunder that’s ever shaken the house's foundation. Coated in darkness and loneliness, nobody witness of the sobs that wracked my body, I crumbled to the floor, curling in on myself as tears blinded me, making my muscles hurt as I gasped for air.

Everyone would suffer again, innocent and rebels alike.

            The floodlights of the open-air stadium were blinding and the air was relatively warmer compared to the constant rainy mood back in District 7. There was a breeze in the air, a whisper of unease and death brushing against our ears as every tribute seemed tense, but tried to hide it with wide and pleased smiles. Neither one of us was happy to be back and we would try to do something to change it, not that President Snow cared. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as the two horses pulling our chariot neighed loudly, ruffling their manes. My left hand was clutching the railing tightly for balance and to root me into the present moment, my right hand clammy against another warm palm. Yunho’s fingers were long and bony, his palm big and calloused, and somehow always cold. My skin crawled when our fingers had intertwined, a flicker of yearning awakening in my chest, but I was quick to drown it in the permeating numbness. I couldn’t feel anything for anyone, not now—especially not now.

The crowd only seemed to roar louder, probably enjoying the show, when all victors joined hands with their respective tribute partners. To us, to the ones who would have to risk their lives again, it wasn’t just a show, it was a last attempt to show that we stood here, together, unwilling to become jesters for the Capitol. But they wouldn’t understand, they never did. The districts, however, could see us and they would understand that we were united even if President Snow tried to tear us apart. We wouldn’t give up, not today and not tomorrow, never again. His tyranny had run on for too long, and his fragile reign was now threatened by the presence of the Mockingjay. The whispers of a riot in the districts had only gotten louder, more persistent, not just simple rumour anymore. The Peacekeepers had been more on edge ever since the 74th Hunger Games, under close surveillance by their comrades at the Capitol.

The chariot was finally taking us back beneath the stadium, away from the eyes of the Capitol and the cameras. My heart was racing against my chest, my veins filled with adrenaline, but dread as well, as every tribute returned backstage, our chariots coming to slow stops as Avoxes came forward to tend to the horses. My grip had been so tight against the railing that my fingers ached when I finally let go, all too aware of Yunho’s firm grip on my hand. With my jaw clenched, I turned my head to look at him, surprised to find him with an impassive expression on his face, lips downturned, and his eyes shaking. Yunho was always smiling, no matter the circumstances. I gulped and flexed my fingers, trying to pry them away, but Yunho didn’t want to release his own grip yet. It made me huff as I turned my body to face him, feeling anger lick at my skin.

“Let go.” I hissed lowly, mindful of the people around us who could overhear us. Nobody could know that I’d rather gut Yunho than be on his side, to everyone around us, we seemed like the perfect mentor pair, him being a sunshine and me the broody one. Nobody knew that behind cameras I would ignore Yunho’s existence, turn down his attempts at a conversation, and lock myself in my room whenever he’d come looking for me with another far-fetched excuse just to speak to me.

When he still hadn’t made a move, fed up, I yanked my hand out of his and leaned close enough for my breath to hit his cheek, my eyebrows deeply furrowed, “Get your shit together, Yunho. And stay away, everything is for show. I hope you haven’t forgotten—”

“How could I?” His chuckle was sarcastic, jaw clenched when he faced me, and for a second I froze, my eyes widening. It wasn’t even the sudden proximity that threw me off, it was the animosity on his face and the small snare on his lips, “You remind me each year of the same old things, you sound like President Snow at times.”

Appalled that he’d compare me to that man, I huffed and gripped the skirt of my dress, lifting it above my ankles as I stepped off the chariot, storming off. I was headed for the elevator so that I could return to our flat, and in my angry strut, I failed to notice a familiar face race after me. My heels were loud as I walked with purpose, glaring at anyone who blocked my path, and I didn’t greet back anyone as I knew they’d want to speak to me. I wasn’t here to mingle, I was here because Snow forced us to play another one of his games, and I was here to win. Before I could be-line it for the open elevator doors, fingers wrapped around my bicep and halted me, making me release a frustrated sigh as I whirled around intending to tell the person off, only for the words to freeze in my throat. The man holding me back wasn’t just anyone, it was Finnick Odair. And for the first time in a while, I felt my body fill with joy as my face relaxed, lips spreading into a wide smile, “Finnick!”

He chuckled as my arms flew around his neck, pulling his body into mine with little care if it was too aggressive or not, Finnick could take it. His torso was exposed due to his stylist’s poor taste, but it didn’t bother me as Finnick was warm and smelled of the sea and somehow the rain too. He felt like family, in his arms I knew I was safe, no matter what. It was funny, really, how easy it was to trust him, to let my walls down around him and just feel everything. I didn’t have to hide my fears when it came to Finnick, I didn’t have to hide my pain and struggles, because he knew. Finnick knew everything and he was often there to pick up the pieces when nobody else was. He understood and he knew what I needed because he needed the same thing. When in the Capitol, forced to be Snow’s muppets, Finnick was my pillar and I was his, the glimmer of light in the darkness, the embrace of a warm body that demanded nothing in exchange, just simple companionship and a shoulder to cry on.

“I thought I’d get a punch for touching you,” Finnick’s honey-like voice was teasing as he hugged me back just as affectionately, “I’m glad I was spared of a right hook, I’d look horrible for our interviews.”

I chuckled, mouth hurting from smiling so widely, “Even with a black, you’d still look dashing, Finnick.”

“Oh, my,” Finnick chuckled again, his arms loosening around my torso, but I was reluctant to let go. It felt nice to be in the arms of someone I trusted, loved even. It’s been too long since my mind could be at ease in anyone’s presence, in someone’s warm and loving hold. Finnick was like the older brother I had lost, always eager to help me out, and there whenever the burden of living alone got too hard. Living in different districts, the distance made it hard to cope with his absence at times, but at least I had one thing to look forward to whenever I was forced to visit the Capitol. I knew Finnick would be here, and I knew he would be just as excited to see me, “I fear my stylist wants to keep me naked for the interviews.”

I grimaced as I definitely didn’t want the mental image of a naked Finnick in my head, and finally let my arms fall from his body, stepping back to leave distance between our bodies, but not too far back. I enjoyed Finnick’s warmth, it felt like I was around the sun, “You should switch him with someone who doesn’t view you as just a pretty piece of meat to put on display. Wooyoung would be more than happy to design your clothes, he’s literally in love with you. He never stops gushing about your looks and body proportions whenever he sees you, it’s gotten sickening actually.”

“Wooyoung is spoiled and Snow loves objectifying me, so he’d never allow it.” Snow loved objectifying Finnick and me too, but thankfully, no matter how spoiled, my stylist, Wooyoung was, he’d never make me wear anything revealing or uncomfortable. He enjoyed working with raw materials, more specifically with tree bark as he claimed it let him explore creative ideas. With the disappearance of Choi San last year, the most sought-after stylist in the Capitol, Jung Wooyoung was the next hot topic. He certainly enjoyed the limelight, glad that San was finally gone and he could have his spot. The two had always been rivals, trying to claim The Best Stylist title, at least based on Wooyoung’s claims. You couldn’t fully believe whatever he said, he loved to spice things up just for the fun of it and spread rumours like wildfire. He was worse than the grannies back in District 7.

“Snow can go and die in his sorry excuse of a mansion, Finnick, at this point, he can’t do shit to me.” I hissed through my teeth, sharp eyes surveying the place as it was buzzing with jittery tributes, stylists and Avoxes, everyone doing their own thing. Most tributes were mingling before they would retreat to their own flats, and I averted my eyes out of fear that he’d come over when I saw Wooyoung storming towards Yunho, probably, you never knew with his sudden mood changes.

“Careful,” Finnick muttered, lips pulled into a sly grin, “the walls have ears everywhere here, darling, we can’t give Snow free material to hang over our heads.”

“As if he can’t just do that without having an actual reason.” I rolled my eyes and Finnick hummed as he grabbed a sugar cube out of the little pouch he had on his waist, turning around as he searched for his and Mags’ chariot. He smiled when his eyes fell on the old lady, and he nodded with his head for me to follow him. I fell in step with him as Finnick and I walked back to his chariot, and he fed the horses with sugar cubes before he popped one in his mouth. I smiled softly when Mags finally noticed me, her face always gentle and understanding. I bowed my head and kissed her on the cheeks, a lump forming in my throat when she pulled me in her arms with a tight squeeze, reminding me of a motherly hug. Anytime I saw Mags, I’d miss my family just a little bit more. She was a reminder that I’d never get to see my mother grow old, my father, nor my siblings. It was painful, but I gulped before more emotions could surface and cleared my throat, looking back at Finnick who was gazing somewhere behind me.

“Lover boy and his bestie are staring at us,” Finnick mused with amusement lacing his tone, “I don’t think your lover boy is too happy that you’re here with me, instead of being with him.”

I scoffed, turning my head to look where Yunho and Mingi stood, catching their gazes as Mingi flinched and quickly looked down at the ground, but Yunho held my gaze, jaw clenched and eyes slightly narrowed. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to them, grabbing Finnick’s bicep as I leaned closer to him, “I wish we could switch tributes—no offence Mags, but I don’t think I’ll be able to not kill him before the Games can even start.”

Mags snickered and shook her head at me as her stylist approached us, giving the old lady an exasperated look before she guided Mags away, making Finnick wave at her as I bowed my head slightly, “He can’t be that bad, honestly, I never understood why you hate him so much. He’s a genuinely nice guy, I bet he’d even sacrifice himself for you—”

“Enough, Finnick.” I snapped as my jaw clenched, emotions twisting in my chest at the mere prospect of Yunho jumping in front of me to take an arrow or a throwing knife to the heart. Yunho might’ve been genuine and loving in other’s eyes, but I knew who he was. He wouldn’t save me, jump in front of an arrow or a throwing knife, no, he’d send me poison disguised as bread just to take me out, his own tribute.

“Right, sorry,” Finnick mumbled as he grabbed another sugar cube, eyes falling on someone to my left. His smile turned into a sly one as he nudged my arm, pointing towards a tall girl with dark braided hair and a gorgeous black costume. She was the girl on fire, the Mockingjay, Katniss Everdeen, “Wanna go say hi? We should show her we mean no harm before she decides we are her enemy.”

“But we are her enemy, Finnick,” I mumbled but followed the man, making him wink at me with a knowing look on his face. If we put it that way, Katniss wasn’t our only enemy, we were each other’s enemies too, it was only natural when it came to the Games. No previous friendships mattered once we stepped inside the Arena and the canon went off, signalling the start of the Games. I remained standing behind Finnick as Katniss’ attention was on us, her hand slowly petting the horse.

“Do you want a sugar cube?” Finnick asked with his honey-like voice even warmer now, grinning charmingly. Katniss’ eyes narrowed as they glanced briefly at me before she focused on Finnick again, jaw clenching. She completely ignored Finnick’s hand, which was extended towards her and held a sugar cube in his palm.

“No.” She deadpanned and I snorted, masking it with a gulp when Finnick threw me a displeased look. It was hilarious each time a female turned Finnick’s advances down, it didn’t happen often and that’s exactly why I enjoyed it even more.

“Well, girl on fire, you certainly dress to impress.”

“As always.” I couldn’t help but mutter as Katniss and Mingi’s clothes had caught on fire before the parade was over, the roars of the people were so loud that they managed to make my ears ring. Katniss and Finnick ignored my comment and I let my eyes study the girl’s face more, she was way too young to be here. I was an adult, most of us were, but she was sixteen, just a child.

“Thanks, your costume is…lacking.” Katniss grimaced before she quickly averted her eyes from Finnick’s exposed chest and I chuckled again, surprised to hear her addressing me as well, “But yours looks nice—raw, almost.”

“It’s because it is raw, it’s real tree bark,” I explained as I let my fingers trace the corset, sturdy and protective around my torso. I extended my hand towards her, showing her that I meant no harm, just yet, “My name’s Im Y/N.”

“I know,” Katniss muttered as she shook my hand, her grip strong but not lasting, “I’m Katniss Everdeen.”

I hummed and nudged Finnick to suggest that he should introduce himself too, but he just popped the sugar cube in his mouth and smirked at Katniss, who looked clearly uncomfortable, “And he’s Finnick Odair, don’t let his cocky attitude make you feel uncomfortable. He’s just half the jerk he seems to be.”

Finnick scoffed and gave me a sharp look which I ignored as I studied Katniss’ face more, watching her fight a small smile off her lips as her eyes hardened instead, stance determined as she pulled her shoulders back, “Well, it’s not like I’m here to make friends.”

“Not friends, but maybe having a few people on your side wouldn’t help, girl on fire, not everyone is fond of you.” Finnick’s voice dropped as he took a step towards her, making her tense up. My jaw clenched and I averted my eyes because I knew he was right, “We are here because of you and the little stunt you pulled last year, Katniss. Don’t lower your guard.”

“Thanks for the advice, Finnick, but I don’t need it.” Katniss snapped, turning around to take off towards her mentor who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Finnick was about to say something, but I gripped his arm to stop him, my eyes meeting Haymitch’s blue ones. His eyebrows were furrowed as he took both Finnick and me in, a gaze filled with questions flashing over his face before he nodded at us in acknowledgement.

“Well, let’s get Mingi and then we can go.”

“Please, I can’t stay a second longer here.”

I watched as Haymitch and Katniss walked around us, making Finnick grimace as I turned my head to watch them walk towards Yunho, who was unsurprisingly beaming as he was surrounded by a few other tributes as well. Mingi, despite being just as tall as him, was hunched forward and hiding behind Yunho, his head lowered and jaw clenched. Song Mingi had stopped doing well after his Games, always so fidgety and scared of the world around him. But Yunho seemed determined to befriend him and he has never left Mingi’s side ever since his Victor’s Party. I couldn’t help but scowl at the two men before Finnick sighed loudly, grabbing my hand to grab my attention.

“There’ll be a bloodbath this year, Y/N, and I’m not going down so easily.” Finnick’s tone lowered and his eyes shook with conviction, and a flicker of anger, “Keep your ears and eyes open, study those around you, and stay close to the Mockingjay, you’ll know who’s your friend and foe then.”

With his cryptic words, he leaned forward to press a kiss against my cheek before he excused himself and headed for the elevator, his face tired as I watched him hug his torso when the female tributes from Districts 1 and 2 went and approached him like some hyenas, eyes filled with lust as they gazed upon him. People from Districts 1 and 2 were just as bad as those from the Capitol and I hated all of them. Sick of being surrounded by so many people I disliked, I grabbed the skirt of my heavy dress and raised it above my ankles as I stormed off towards one of the many elevators, waiting for one to open its doors as I ignored the insisted stares and whispers from the other tributes. Nobody really liked me, and I intended to keep it that way.

At least fewer feelings would be involved when I’d have to kill them, it wasn’t anything personal, after all.

            The days seemed to blur together when I was at the Capitol, yet at the same time, it felt like no time had even passed at all. As a mentor, all I had to do was focus on guiding the child I was given, making them the strongest and smartest possible. I had to strategize with them and help them build up their confidence if they lacked it, and I had to build them a persona that was easily likeable and cherished by the Capitol. But for that to happen, it also required me to network, to become someone liked by the Capitol. If it wasn’t for Yunho, I was sure not many would’ve liked me. We balanced each other out, where he was too soft and forgiving, I was rigid and hardly able to let go of a grudge. Nobody would willingly become a person disliked by many, but I had long stopped caring about other’s expectations and thoughts. I lived for myself and I lived the way I wanted—as long as President Snow allowed me to, of course. Nothing was made out of sunshine and rainbows in Panem, and if you wanted to have something that was only yours, you’d have to work hard for it, and even then it wouldn’t be enough. It was sickening, really, when I realized that I was at a great disadvantage this year.

I wasn’t a mentor any more, I was a tribute, a person not many would root for. People in the Capitol had twisted and sick fantasies and enjoyed brutality, but if one’s character wasn’t likeable, they would turn a blind eye to their efforts to win them over with their skills. And this meant that there wouldn’t be many rooting for me or sending me gifts and the bare minimum of necessities. I had to play it smart, who I’d team up with, who I’d betray, who I’d trust and who I wouldn’t. I couldn’t let just anyone into my circle of allies, and thus, when people who had no idea what the Games were about tried to give me advice, it only naturally made my blood boil. My stylists, who otherwise were rather acceptable people despite being from the Capitol, had seemed to think they knew better who was good and wasn’t to have in your team. They thought just because they watched us through a screen each year they could give us advice. I have held my tongue the whole week, not wanting to create an even more tense environment. It was already enough that I fled the room whenever Yunho entered it and didn’t speak nor look at him even at the other’s futile attempts.

Tonight was no different as we sat at the big table filled with tasty food to the brim, loud chatter filling the vast dining room. Yunho was to my left, unfortunately, and his musky cologne seemed to be stronger tonight than any time else, making my nose itch as I fought another sneeze away. I raised my hand holding the fork and rubbed at my nose, trying to get rid of the constant itching, it was irritating. But what was even more irritating were Yunho’s futile attempts at grabbing my attention or trying to stir up a conversation with me, it wasn’t happening. We were headed inside the Arena in less than two days and I wasn’t about to frolic around with him. I managed to avoid him so far, I had to remain focused on my own strategy. I wasn’t dying in that Arena, if President Snow thought it would be smart to send victors back, I would make sure to give him a headache lasting for centuries. Did he want a parade? I would gladly create a scene for him.

“Ah, just look at it!” Momo exclaimed, her full attention on the TV’s screen as they were replaying images of yesterday night’s interviews. It didn’t go as planned, of course, it didn’t. Everyone was revolted for having to return inside the Arena, and in a last desperate attempt, we had tried to show our unity to the districts that even if Snow tried to turn us against each other, at the core, we fought together for a better tomorrow, for a better Panem. My lips twitched into a satisfied smirk when I watched ourselves on the screen holding hands, raising them high up in the air as Caesar Flickerman’s panicked voice cut through the microphone, and then the lights went out. Snow hated it, I knew he hated it, and the knowledge of that alone made my whole evening more enjoyable. That is, of course, until Momo’s big and gleaming eyes were focused back on us.

“You are so brave,” She said, lips quivering. Out of the team that worked with us to make us look good, Momo was the least likeable. She was the typical Capitol resident, entitled and sheltered, a bit dumb, and overall annoying, “I wouldn’t be able to stand there, you even held hands to share a last moment together. It’s beautiful.”

Wooyoung, always the little shit, snorted under his breath as he raised his fork and bit the meat off of it. Wooyoung wasn’t dumb, he was far from it, and he seemed to dislike most of the people surrounding him despite not being that different from them. He said nothing as Minghao hummed from across me, his features blank as always. He rarely spoke, but when he did, he’d either say something that would scar you for life or make you wish he never opened his mouth. He was merciless, with everyone.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” My voice was laced with sarcasm and Yunho stopped moving around for a second, I could feel his wide eyes on the side of my face. It was the first time I had spoken tonight, “Sending us to our imminent deaths? Yeah, there’s just something so romantic about it, don’t you think so?”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table despite the amused smile on Minghao’s face, who took hold of his wine glass and tilted it in my direction as a silent toast. I wasn’t fond of him, unsurprisingly, but he seemed to be the only person besides Yunho and myself who was aware of all the horror the Capitol inflicted on the districts. He was quiet about it, but his mask sometimes slipped and I could see the hatred in his eyes, the rage boiling underneath his blood whenever Snow was shown on the screen, giving one of his lame speeches.

“Well,” Yeri, a person full of life and passion, tried to diffuse the palpable tension, “how did your evaluations go? What did you do? You never told us about it.”

“Yeah, you didn’t!” Wooyoung exclaimed with a full mouth, making Yeri grimace as she averted her eyes onto her plate. We didn’t have the time to tell them about it, not that I was in the mood to talk about how I had showcased my skills. I did it in a certainly memorable way, I was sure the Gamemakers weren’t satisfied with it, but I wasn’t here to please anyone. Yunho cleared his throat as he leaned forward to grab his cup of water, eyes falling on me briefly. I ignored him and took another bite of my dinner, the rich aromas never ceasing to amaze me. If there was just one good thing about the existence of the Capitol, it was their food.

As Yunho realized I wouldn’t speak up, he cleared his throat again and intertwined his fingers as he placed them on the table, “I did what I did all those years ago but made it more interesting, I suppose. I’m good with an axe, so…I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, really. That’s not my goal—”

“But, Yunho!” Momo’s exclamation cut Yunho off as her eyes grew wide, “You are supposed to impress them! What if they give you a bad score? That would be terrible.”

I snorted under my breath, rolling my eyes, “The Capitol giving a bad score to their golden boy? Yeah, sure, and I’m President Snow’s wife.”

“You’d kill yourself first before they’d even pronounce you as his wife.” Minghao’s reply came fast, cutting through the growing tension due to my blatant jar directed at Yunho. But, yes, Minghao was right. I’d rather kill myself than marry Snow, it was a stupid and absurd example, just like Momo’s stupid assumption.

“You’d be surprised to find out they aren’t as head over heels for me as you think, Y/N.” Yunho rarely snapped back, but as I glanced at him, I noticed his jaw clenching and unclenching. I couldn’t say that I was satisfied to see him triggered, but it certainly made me feel a little bit smug. Watching Yunho’s perfect mask crumble always satisfied me, it was proof of who he really was. It’s a pity not many were able to witness it.

“Maybe, but—” Wooyoung paused for no reason, just to be dramatic, as his twinkling eyes fell on me, “they certainly like you more than they like Y/N.”

“Say something new, Wooyoung.” I huffed and grabbed my own glass of orange juice, my stomach heavy from how much I had eaten. I had to enjoy full meals before going inside the Arena, I knew there I wouldn’t have the chance to eat much. I hated it.

“Since it seems like the cat finally returned your tongue, tell us about your evaluation.” Wooyoung grinned, lips ghosting over the edge of his wine glass. My jaw tensed as I leaned back in my chair, pushing the plate just slightly away from me as a way of letting everyone know I wasn’t eating anymore. The Avoxes lingering just around us noticed and quickly came closer, taking the plates and silverware away before they disappeared to the kitchen. I didn’t want to entertain those who sat at the table with me, but I knew I couldn’t just stand and go to my room, that would’ve been too rude, and I knew Minghao would very shamelessly drag me back. But just to prolong my moment of silence and peace of mind, knowing the reactions that would soon follow, I took a big gulp of the orange juice and made sure to savour it. Wooyoung scoffed as he rolled his eyes and Minghao, surprisingly, seemed rather interested as his eyebrows raised. Momo had her mouth hanging open as she sat on the edge of her chair and Yeri seemed nonchalant, but I knew she was just as curious as everyone else.

As for Yunho, his torso had turned to face me and his warm chocolate-like eyes were insistent, as if he was trying to penetrate my mind and read my every thought. Irritated, I held the glass in both hands and took a deep breath, “I destroyed the training room.”

The gasps that followed were satisfying, gratifying. I chuckled, staring at nothing in particular smugly, “I walked inside with my head held high, I introduced myself and then grabbed the tables first, pushing everything off of them just to flip them over. Then I went and turned everything I could over, hurling the weapons I could towards the Gamemakers, but sadly, there was a forcefield around them this time. And then, when I felt satisfied with my work, I told them to get fucked in the ass and left the room with a bright smile on my face.”

The mouths hanging open made me chuckle, which turned into quiet giggles as I stared down into my lap, feeling as if I had accomplished something big. This was the best way I could show defiance, and so I took the opportunity and rolled with it. I couldn’t have been prouder, but my joyful moment didn’t last for long when I felt a warm palm pressing against my left thigh. Before I could react, push the hand off or anything, long fingers grabbed onto my flesh through my pants and I gulped, my heartbeat spiking at the inappropriate touch. I whipped my head around, Yunho’s eyes boring into mine as his eyebrows were furrowed.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was deep, low, and scrutinizing. I scoffed but didn’t say anything as his grip only turned tighter, making goosebumps erupt under my sweater. Yunho didn’t look mad, but he didn’t look calm either, it was peculiar, I couldn’t read his expression.

“That’s…” Minghao took a deep breath, face suddenly lighting up in elation, “simply brilliant!”

“No, it isn’t.” Yunho snapped, his head turning around as he looked at Wooyoung, who looked concerned. It made my eyebrows furrow, but before I could speak up, Yeri beat me to it.

“You just put a target on your head, Y/N,” Her voice was hesitant as she glanced around the table, stare lingering on Wooyoung as if she was asking for permission to speak, “You know the President isn’t fond of you, you shouldn’t have angered him further. These Games, they—they are happening to take you down, the strongest, the ones who had proven they were strong enough to fight a battle lest it happens, you should play it smart, Y/N, not make a fool out of yourself.”

My eyebrows raised as I chuckled, unamused, leaning forward to look at Yeri better, “Really? I’m a fool now? You think I want to be here, again?! You think I want to go back inside that fucking Arena and kill those people? To relive all the repressed memories and emotions? Fuck off, Yeri, when all you’ve known is a lavished lifestyle without death constantly looming over your head.”

“Watch your language.” Wooyoung was rarely serious, but when his fox-like eyes narrowed and his lips twitched, he looked scary. He could be scary when he wanted to be, perhaps that is why he laughed so often and tried to always look mischievous, “Yeri is right, stop being so fucking proud that you can’t admit when you’ve just made a mistake. If your score is low the people won’t even bat an eyelash your way, considering there’s someone who likes you.”

“I don’t give a shit who likes me and who doesn’t, Wooyoung.” I scoffed, my thigh burning where Yunho’s fingers gripped it. It was becoming too hot in the dining room, Yunho’s strong cologne was making my head dizzy and I could feel my lungs tightening up. I didn’t want to stay here, I didn’t like being put on the spot, and I didn’t like it when people treated me for less than I was.

“Well, you should.” Wooyoung said, tone cold, “Because your life depends on your sponsors and your allies, you stupid girl.”

Before I could snap back at Wooyoung, Momo, who had been surprisingly quiet, chirped up, “Speaking of that, who are you taking as your allies? I was thinking Enobaria, from District 2, and—”

“Mingi.” Yunho’s tone was determined, eyes hardened as he looked at everyone sitting at the table, his gaze slipping onto mine, “I’m not leaving him alone, he’s coming with us.”

“With us?” I muttered under my breath and flinched when Yunho’s fingers felt like they were digging through my pants, “I’m with Finnick and Mags, I don’t care what you do and who you go off with.”

“You’re a team.” Minghao said, his lips pursed, “You two have to stick together, it’s what everyone else will do too, it’s only logical.”

“And if I don’t want to?” I fired rapidly, eyebrows raising.

“I just told you to stop being fucking arrogant, Y/N.” Wooyoung hissed, slamming his fist onto the table and making me flinch as my heart started thumping faster, “You’d be suicidal to not form a team with Yunho, he’s amongst the last ones the other tributes will go for. He’s strong and you know he’s got your back, you can’t go frolicking with Finnick and Mags, what if they turn on you?”

“They won’t,” I said through a clenched jaw and having had enough of Yunho’s touch, I gripped his wrist and ignored the looks we got. My nails dug into his skin painfully, but he wasn’t budging, it made my blood boil, “Finnick is like my brother, he won’t turn on me.”

“Mingi is like my brother too, I’m not leaving him alone—”

“So, are you saying you want us to team up with the Mockingjay?” I whipped my head around, eyes bleeding into Yunho’s, “You want to put a target on our heads right from the get-go? Everyone hates her guts, everyone will want to kill her first. I’m not teaming up with Mingi and Katniss, Yunho—”

“It wasn’t a question,” Yunho snapped, suddenly flipping his palm up as he grabbed my wrist instead and yanked me towards himself. I gasped as I felt forward, gripping the edge of the chair with my right hand, heart racing against my chest, “Mingi is coming with us, and wherever he goes, Katniss goes too. And you’re coming with us too, whether you like it or not. I don’t care if Finnick and Mags join us, I know they won’t turn against us until there’s just us left behind.”

I scoffed and yanked my wrist out of his hold, snarling at him, “You won’t tell me what to do, I’m not going to be in a team with you. Yet better, get out of my fucking way when that canon goes off because you will be the first person I’ll kill, Yunho.”

My words stung, they were honest but I hadn’t meant them like that. I hadn’t realized their weight until it was too late and I couldn’t take them back anymore. I tried to gulp but my throat was tight, cheeks burning from both anger and the sudden regret and embarrassment I felt. For the first time, I didn’t feel satisfaction as I watched Yunho’s face fall, a very clearly pained expression crossing his face. His eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t understand why I would say something like that, but his eyes filled with tears and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. It didn’t help that everyone was staring at me with wide-open mouths, just as shocked as Yunho by my words. When I heard Momo starting to sob, I knew I couldn’t sit there anymore. I stood abruptly, pushing my chair back forcefully as I took off towards my room, breaking out into a sprint when I felt my bottom lip shake, tears flooding my eyes.

Why was I on the verge of breaking down? Why did my own words hurt me when they were the truth, when they were supposed to let Yunho know that I didn’t want him around? Not here, not home, and certainly not in the Games. I couldn’t trust him, he’d tried to kill me once before, and he wasn’t even in the Arena with me, what would guarantee that he wouldn’t do it again? And now it would be so much easier done, I couldn’t trust him. In my desperate daze to get back to my room, I didn’t hear the quick footsteps chasing after me, and I gasped when my door was slammed open before it could even close. I knew who it was even before I turned around, and my hands balled into fists, throat tight as I tried to gulp again.

“Why are you like this?”

“Get out.”

We spoke over each other, Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion while mine in irritation, “Get out, Yunho, get out!”

“I’m not going fucking anywhere until you tell me how I wronged you!” Yunho had never raised his voice before, it made me flinch as his chest fell and rose rapidly, his lips downturned. He was mad and confused, and he wasn’t budging as I tried to push him out of my room. No, instead, he gripped my biceps painfully hard and shook my body as if that would shake some sense into me, his eyes shaking as they bore into mine. I couldn’t breathe as my heart raced painfully hard in my chest, my face flushed from the adrenaline. I couldn’t even tell what was wrong with me anymore, I didn’t know if I was scared, mad, desperate, or just insane. But I knew that if Yunho continued looking at me with that hurt expression on his face, I would completely break, and I couldn’t let that happen. Not when we were so close to going inside the Games where I had to be focused and committed to the thought that only I was making it back.

“You should think back on your actions, Yunho, it’s very easy actually.” I chuckled, trying to feign nonchalance, but I knew I was failing by how shaky my voice sounded, “I don’t trust you.”

“I know that, but no matter how hard I think about it, I just—” He gulped, averting his eyes, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I did wrong and I can’t—I just can’t have you pushing me away when we are so close, please, Y/N. I care for you just as much as I care for Mingi, we can’t separate in the Arena.”

I gulped as Yunho’s painful grip softened on my biceps, his shaking eyes searching my face as I tried to gather my thoughts, to give him a rational answer, “You think you won’t turn on me when the timing comes?”

I was surprised by how dejected and sad I sounded. I chuckled, fed up even with myself as the silence stretched on between us, Yunho’s lack of an answer being the answer. He knew it and I knew it too, the alliances would last as long as there were still many of us alive in the Arena. After that? Everyone was on their own, everyone. Even those who loved each other would have no choice but to choose. Me or them. And the answer was clear, it always had been. Humans were selfish, we were desperate to survive, and it was obvious who we’d choose.

“But I don’t want to turn on you.” Yunho’s voice was just a whisper as suddenly his hands moved, tracing up to my shoulders as he stepped closer, making me inhale deeply. His musky scent was nauseating, but it was the only thing in this wrenched place that smelled like home, that reminded me of home, that felt like home. Yunho’s closeness was familiar despite my dislike for it, and I found myself gripping his sweater at his hips, tilting my head back to look at him better. Yunho’s eyes were coated with an emotion that ran deep in his bones, an emotion that was so clear it made me freeze. He didn’t hate me, not even when I had been nothing but horrible to him, it was so obvious he didn’t and that was dangerous. It was dangerous because I could feel my walls crumble as I closed the distance between us, pressing my body against his bigger and stronger one. Yunho’s jaw clenched as he gently cupped my jaw, licking his lips as his eyes shifted between my eyes and lips.

“We won’t have to turn against each other, Y/N.” He whispered, leaning down so close that our lips brushed together. I gasped, quietly, as my eyes widened, freezing in his hold as I didn’t expect him to make such a bold move. But there was something hidden in his gaze, which quickly darted over the room as if searching for something, his voice really low and deep as he spoke again, “This will be the last time, to us, to them, to the children. Whatever happens in that Arena, it will happen with the intention to fix what’s been broken for so many years, to bring about a new beginning. So we mustn’t forget who our true enemy is, Y/N.”

My mind was reeling as Yunho’s words sank in, heart beating in a frenzy as I couldn’t completely focus due to the mess I was feeling inside. I wanted to push him away, slap him, berate him, but I also wanted to grab his collar and seal our lips together, to devour him, to breathe him in, to feel his body against mine, to give in to the burn situated low in my stomach. I hated him, but I wanted him. Snow took everyone from me, but he left me with Yunho as if he knew I’d torture myself over it, hate him with moments of relapse where all I could do was want him. I shuddered when Yunho shifted his head, his soft and wet lips pressing against the corner of my mouth. I wanted to chase after it, I wanted to taste him, but he turned his head when I tried to finally close the small distance. My lips pressed against his jaw instead and I couldn’t stop myself as I pressed an open-mouth kiss against his hot skin, fingers digging into his sweater, settling on his narrow hips. I couldn’t control myself anymore, it was too much. And maybe I didn’t want to let my logical brain lead me, maybe I wanted to give in to my deepest, darkest, desires led by my heart.

“If we do this together, Yunho,” My voice was hoarse as I spoke, our eyes meeting again as Yunho faced me once again, “The second I realize you’ve lied to me, I will kill you. I will kill anyone because I’m not dying in that Arena.”

“You are not.” Yunho emphasised as he gulped, reaching a hand up as he pushed my hair back, tangling his long fingers into the smooth strands, “But we must protect the Mockingjay.”

“Why?” I hissed, eyebrows furrowed as I turned my head just slightly, pressing my cheek into his, for once, warm palm. Yunho smiled, letting his other hand drop from my jaw as he shrugged, eyes shaking as his face morphed into tiredness. He seemed tired, but not just due to today’s events, he was tired of everything.

“To be free.” My eyes fluttered closed when he leaned forward, pressing a lasting kiss against my forehead. It made my chest ache and my hands almost chased after him when he untangled himself from my body, leaving me alone and cold in the room that would be my bedroom for the last time. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew one thing.

I wasn’t dying in that Arena, and perhaps neither was Yunho.

            Dread, so deep that it rattled your bones, was an emotion one could never get used to. I forgot what it truly meant to fear for your life, to do everything you could to keep yourself alive. President Snow wanted the utmost entertainment as Panem watched their most beloved victors fight for their lives, and he certainly got what he wanted. We didn’t have to run to the Cornucopia this year to get our weapons, no, the Cornucopia was where we stood the second the platforms raised us into the Arena. I couldn’t even focus on my chaotic heartbeat, eyes looking around for Finnick, only to spot Yunho instead straight across from me. He had given me a firm nod, and then his eyes fixed on something past me. When I turned to see what it was, I could see two axes lined up against the leg of a table. They were put there for us. I turned in my spot, muscles tight as the countdown began—may the odds be ever in your favour. Words I never thought I’d hear so vividly again, just through the screen of a TV while I watched my tributes fight until death.

And despite knowing what it meant to be in the Games and knowing it would be no easy feat to get away from the Cornucopia in one piece, it still shocked me how hard I had to fight to gain the upper hand. It seemed like Yunho and I weren’t the only ones yielding an axe, and thus, my first kill had been claimed right after the countdown, it didn’t surprise me. But there was no time for grief or hesitation, everyone was out there to get the other. I had to find my allies before someone could kill me, and upon seeing Finnick’s blonde hair disappear underwater, I knew I had to get away too. The Cornucopia was situated on an island in the middle of a lake, surrounded by lush green and dense pine trees. The breeze was chilly, the air humid. It felt like I was back in District 7 on an early autumn day when the days were starting to get shorter and the nights longer. The scenery felt familiar yet it made my skin crawl, I hated it here.

My ears still rang from the canons that had gone off right after the countdown, and my lungs burned when I resurfaced. The water was colder than I had expected and as I wasn’t an experimented swimmer, I struggled until I reached the shore, the axe I had to somehow carry to land also made my mission more difficult. As I gasped for air, water droplets obscuring my view, hand feeling around for my abandoned axe, I realized with great terror that something was actively sneaking around my ankles, slithering up my legs. In a frenzy, I decided to look back and I was mortified when I realized the weeds inside the water were moving up my leg, trying to yank me back inside the water. I tried to reach for my axe but it was out of reach, and just as I started trashing my legs around in hopes of making the weeds retract, I heard the sound of splashing water not too far from me. Then, the sharp edge of an axe came down and I gasped as I quickly flipped onto my back, my hand gripping the handle of my own axe as I was finally able to reach it.

Yunho’s suit was snug against his fit body, leaving very little to the imagination as it acted as a second skin. Our suits offered warmth but they were uncomfortable, the jacket that came with it only holding us back when we had to swim through the lake to reach the shore. Yunho was breathing hard as his eyes were pointed at me, and then he reached his hand out and I grabbed it without thinking much. I was hoisted up and I made sure no weed remained on my legs as Yunho hadn’t released my hand just yet, guiding us towards another tall person, who stood far away from the wet ground. My teeth clattered against each other as the lake’s coldness seemed to cling onto my every crevice, and I whipped my head left and right as I was trying to spot Finnick and Mags. I could see people rushing inside the trees at a distance, but neither had blonde hair like Finnick’s. Then, realizing that despite him being strong and capable of getting through the bloodbath, one of the canons that went off could’ve signalled his death.

My breath caught in my throat as I yanked my hand out of Yunho’s, making him pause as we finally reached Mingi, who was looking around himself nervously, bow and arrow clutched tightly in his hands. A hunting knife was strapped to his hips as well, and despite the always solemn look on his face, he seemed alert and present. But I couldn’t focus on Mingi or Yunho, all I could think about was the absence of Finnick, Mags, and even Katniss. Weren’t Mingi and her supposed to stick together no matter what?

“Where’s Katniss?” I found myself asking before I could think this through. I didn’t trust Mingi, hell, I didn’t even fully trust Yunho. I didn’t want to be with them, but Yunho’s long fingers found my arm again and he was suddenly walking off, dragging me after himself. I tried to stop, looking back at Mingi with a panicked expression on my face as he followed after us wordlessly, but neither one of them was saying anything. It only made my heart race faster, reminded me of the time when I was betrayed by my own district’s male tribute, flashbacks making my body shudder when Yunho just ignored me, fingernails digging through the fabric of my jacket as he led the way deeper inside the pine forest, “Stop—stop!”

I knew I was supposed to stay silent, but I was panicking, my mind was hazy and my lungs were heavy, I couldn’t continue like this. The Games had just started, I couldn’t freak out so early on, I needed to stay level-headed and in control of my thoughts and actions, “Yunho, I said fucking stop!”

“We can’t stop, Y/N!” He exclaimed, suddenly halting and making me run into his broad back. I gasped as my face collided with it and he whirled around, eyebrows furrowed, “We are too exposed right now, we have to keep going, the others are lurking around still.”

“I’m not going anywhere without Finnick, Yunho, I’ve already told you this—”

“I didn’t see Finnick anywhere,” I could barely speak before Yunho cut me off, as if he didn’t even care about what I had to say. The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow all of a sudden, “We can’t wait around for him, we have to keep moving for a while, at least. And if—he—he might’ve died already, Y/N, we can’t wait around for—”

“What about Katniss?” I hissed, turning my head around as I glared at Mingi, who looked tense and lowered his eyes when my glare burned into his shaken eyes, “Weren’t you two supposed to stay together?”

“We were, but I—she pushed me in the water to save me from a knife and I—” Mingi gulped, sharing a quick glance with Yunho. It made me look back at Yunho, feeling more suspicious than before. Something was wrong, they had to be lying. But why would they want us to separate from Finnick and Katniss? It made no sense, “I lost sight of her, I’m sorry. But she’s strong and she can swim, I know she made it out. The forest is like a second home to her, she’ll find her way back—I hope.”

“Hope,” I scoffed, shaking Yunho’s grip off as I held my axe even tighter, jaw clenching, “is not good enough here, Mingi. Are you sure you didn’t do this on purpose? Why did you want to separate me from Finnick—”

“Nobody wanted us to separate.” Yunho’s sharp tone cut me off and I gasped when I felt him cup my cheek and turn my head around, his chocolate brown eyes hard and glaring, “Things rarely go as planned inside the Games, Y/N, you know that, so we can’t just stand here and argue and draw even more attention onto us. We’ll search until we find them, okay?”

“I know you did this on purpose, Yunho.” I hissed, slapping his warm hand away, my jaw clenching as Yunho closed his eyes and released a long exhale, “I don’t know what sick and twisted game you’re playing at, but I will slit your—”

A twig snapping to our right made the rest of my words die in the back of my throat, making both Yunho and Mingi tense up as they whipped their heads towards where the sound had come from. My grip tightened around the handle of my axe until my joints ached, and I tilted my head, waiting and listening for another sound. It was minuscule, but it was there, someone was hiding behind the tree. It didn’t look like Mingi or Yunho had noticed, though, because Mingi turned his head and Yunho opened his mouth to say something, but I paid them no mind as I raised my arm and flung my axe towards the tree just as someone with a sword jumped around it. The sickening crack of bones was loud as the tribute gasped, flung back into the tree as the axe was lodged almost perfectly in the middle of his chest. Mingi gasped and seemed to freeze as Yunho gulped, his hand tightening around his own axe.

I threw him a glare before I went towards the tribute who was pinned against the tree by my axe, blood flowing out of his mouth as the life slowly slipped away from the man’s eyes. It was the male tribute from District 6, a man I didn’t know well but had heard talk shit about me behind my back. He was still alive but just barely hanging onto life, so without thinking, I grabbed the back of the axe and pushed it even deeper into the man’s chest, making him let out a gurgled groan. It only took three seconds for his head to drop and for the canon to go off. I scoffed and grabbed the back of the axe, yanking it out of his lifeless body as he crumbled to the ground, folding over itself as I wiped the blood on the back of his jacket, grinning to myself. I would’ve apologized if he would’ve deserved it, but a man who’d tried sexually assaulting me before did not deserve my mercy. Satisfied with my work, and slightly hopeful that the Capitol was thrilled by my kill, I turned with a grin on my lips. The feeling of victory didn’t last for long as I froze, taken aback by the sight in front of me.

Mingi’s whole body was shaking, his bow and arrow were on the ground and his head was hidden in the crook of Yunho’s neck, who held his friend close, muttering reassuring words into the younger’s ear. My jaw clenched, and suddenly the adrenaline rush crashed inside my body, bringing back the clattering of my teeth as my body was still way too cold. I wanted to think of Mingi as someone weak, as someone who had lost his mind already, as someone who had no place in the Hunger Games, an easy prey to whom death was certain. But deep down, in a hidden chamber of my heart, I felt sympathy for Mingi because all I wanted to do was crumble into a ball and sob until no emotion was left inside my chest. I was beyond frightened and all I wanted was to be held in Yunho’s warm and comforting arms, in the arms that felt like home. But I couldn’t, if I let my emotions take the lead, I would die and that was a luxury I couldn’t afford—not yet, at least.

“We need to move,” I spoke up, voice surprisingly gentle as I realized Mingi’s reaction had been triggered by my kill. I didn’t want to set him off more, it wouldn’t just be bad for him, it would set Yunho and me back too, I couldn’t have that happen, “We’re too close to the shore still.”

“Mingi,” Yunho’s voice was gentle as he pressed his nose against his best friend’s temple, rubbing his back up and down with both hands as his axe lay on the ground next to his leg, “It’s okay, we’re fine. Y/N took care of him, you’re safe with us. Let’s go, okay? We need to keep moving to avoid situations like this one, hm?”

I heard a sniff as I approached them, crouching down to fetch Mingi’s bow and arrow as he nodded his head, throwing his arms around Yunho’s neck as he gave him a tight squeeze. Yunho chuckled but returned the hug, a warm smile appearing on his face when the two separated. I gulped, feeling uncomfortable at their intimacy, at the ease they showed affection to each other. Even if my body and soul craved closeness to another human being, my mind wouldn’t let me bring the walls built around my heart down, I just couldn’t. It was too late now, softness didn’t get you anywhere in the Arena, only barbarity did.

“Here,” I muttered as Mingi faced me, his body still trembling when his eyes landed on his previously abandoned weapons. He gulped and very slowly reached forward, “I understand that it’s hard, Mingi, but if you let your trauma and fear consume you, you won’t get far in the Games.”

He nodded once and then grabbed his weapons out of my hands, staring at them with a ferocious glare. Yunho grabbed his axe too and then sighed, rubbing his face before he glanced around us, “Let’s head uphill, maybe we find something that we can use as a resource.”

I nodded, letting the two fall in step in front of me as I opted to look out for our backs, making sure we weren’t exposed on either side. My muscles hurt by how tense they were, and my ears were trained well to catch even the slightest shifts, the quietest of sounds. I knew how to survive situations worse than this, but I couldn’t let my guard down, the Games had barely started.

But if there was one thing I was certain of, it was that I couldn’t trust Yunho or Mingi. Finnick was my only ally in these Games and I was going to find him, whether on my own or with the help of two tall men walking in front of me, I didn’t care. I was going home once this was over.

            The first night in the Arena had been silent, uneventful. This was good only because we got a good night’s rest, otherwise, it meant the Gamemakers were planning something big. I couldn’t tell what, not yet at least, but the lightning striking a tree in the distance, far more uphill, managed to raise my suspicions. I couldn’t tell just yet what that was supposed to mean, but I had counted twelve strikes. I had been on the lookout when it happened, preferring to be the first to keep watch as the two men I was with slept soundly, huddled closely together. Before the artificial sun could set, we made a small bonfire to try to warm ourselves up, grilling a frog we had found by the creak. It got really cold by the nighttime, but I preferred my teeth clattering to cozying up with either Yunho or Mingi. I didn’t trust them, not in the least, and I had twirled the hunting knife between my fingers as I watched them sleep, so unassumingly, so easy to kill. But I wouldn’t do it just yet, not until I have found Finnick and we’d figure something out together. The Arena was big and I knew we had little chance of finding each other, but for once in my life I could only pray the odds would be in my favor.

Morning came fast and once we refreshed ourselves by the creak, which was surprisingly lukewarm, we took off once again, headed more uphill. We were looking for a good hiding spot, something we could treat as our base, but we were also just keen on exploring the Arena. It felt like the pine forest was endless, and to someone who didn’t grow up in a District that was surrounded by forests, it must’ve felt like an endless maze of trees that looked the same no matter which way you looked. But to Yunho and I it was rather easy to navigate through its density, the scenery was never the same to us. The occasional fallen log, the change of the bush type, or even the way birds flew overhead were a good tale-tell sign of where we were. Mingi seemed to be at ease too, moving around as if the forest was his second home. I knew District 12 was just by the forest, but I had no idea they could go inside it too. Maybe Mingi was hiding things about himself even towards Yunho, it wouldn’t surprise me.

As the day had dragged on and the temperatures rose once again, our stomachs churned loudly as we were getting tired from endlessly climbing uphill, the pathway slippery due to the small rocks we had to walk on. Yunho had exchanged spots with Mingi, and I was keen on remaining at the back as we trekked around some more trees, avoiding bushes that looked like something was wrong with them. We had only stopped when the sound of a drone caught our attention, the beeping of it high-pitched and loud as if it were a child’s toy. It was headed towards us, more specifically towards Yunho, and it looked like a box—a big box when Yunho caught it, his eyebrows furrowed. We had stopped then and once Yunho had opened it up, our mouths started watering. Someone from the Capitol had sent us breakfast and left us a letter telling us to feast on it as they’d send us some more tomorrow morning as well. Yunho, the ever-lovely person he was, faced a camera and thanked the sender with a bright smile and some sweet words, Mingi and I could barely contain ourselves from ravishing the bagels, cheese, grapes, and slices that looked and tasted like ham.

Once our bellies were full, we were off again hoping to find a cave as we had followed the stream until it started disappearing into an unknown direction. Mingi was at the front of the group leading us, his bow and arrow gripped in his hands as we had finally spotted a cave up-front, right by the pathway. He seemed excited upon our finding and quickened his pace, making Yunho and I run after him as Yunho glanced back to throw me an excited smile. I didn’t react as I fixed my grip on my axe, ready to face other tributes if they were hiding inside the cave that we’d claim as ours soon. But it was dark and silent inside as we reached its opening and Mingi halted, looking back at Yunho and I.

“I’ll go check, wait here.”

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Yunho muttered, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s fine, I won’t go in deep,” Mingi reassured him and then stalked inside, his bow and arrow drawn in case he was forced to use it. With a gulp, I settled back on my heels and looked around, trying to evade Yunho’s burning gaze. He didn’t say anything, but he continued to stare as I tried harder and harder to ignore him. My heart was slowly starting to thump faster in my chest, and I could feel myself starting to sweat from still wearing my jacket over the body-tight suit. Just as Yunho opened his mouth to say something, Mingi’s shriek made us tense up and share a concerned glance, and then Yunho was off before I could even tell him to wait.

“Mingi!” He screamed, running inside the cave with his axe raised. I remained in my spot, my breaths audible as I whipped my head around, looking out for anyone who could be prowling on us. My heartbeat was deafening as I tried to tune in to the sounds of the forest, but the pounding feet coming from inside the cave caught my attention rapidly, and I couldn’t even make out what was happening as Yunho and Mingi’s panicked faces came into view, Yunho’s hand gripping my arm hard as he yanked me after himself, sprinting downhill all of a sudden.

“Run!” Mingi screamed as he took the lead once again, his bow around his shoulder and arrow in its holster, my heart started pounding faster as I twisted my head around, trying to make out what we were running from. Going downhill was certainly easier than uphill, but the small rocky path was tricky as it was slippery and made it harder for us to flee safely. If it weren’t for Yunho’s relenting grip on my bicep, I was sure I would’ve tumbled to the ground already.

“What are we running from?!” I asked as my lungs heaved for air, Yunho and I jumped over a fallen log as Mingi was well in front of us, not looking back even once.

“Snakes!” Yunho screamed, and I felt my whole body shudder, fear gripping my insides. I wasn’t afraid of snakes, but I was afraid of whatever mutants these were, certain to kill us. I gulped and twisted my head around again to try and see the reptilians, which turned out to be my downfall— quite literally.

“Yunho, come on!” I heard Mingi scream before my feet got caught in the vines that slithered across the forest floor and I gasped as my feet were cut from underneath me, Yunho’s grip disappearing as he continued to run while I rolled to the side, curling into myself to try and protect my head as I hit the side of a boulder. I groaned, my back numb as it caught most of my fall, and my axe was somewhere on the ground. I tried to look for it, getting on my knees as I heard the slithering snakes getting closer, their hisses menacing. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I could hear my pulse clearly and loudly in my ears, looking up as the fallen leaves rattled not too far from me.

“Yunho?!” I heard Mingi’s raw voice call out in the distance, laced with panic, “What are you—no!”

I could see my axe from here, a colourful snake was twisting around its handle, hissing as its eyes fell on me. I gritted my teeth and fumbled around for my hunting knife, unlatching it from around my thigh as I gripped it in my hand, staring the snake down. The only problem was that it wasn’t just one snake that was coming after us, it was multiple, a dozen, thousands even as the otherwise silent forest was filled with their hissing. My mouth parted as my breathing got heavier, and my eyes widened when I felt something crawling up my left calf. It only took me one second to realize a snake had gotten to me without me noticing its approach, and an involuntary shriek escaped my mouth as I tried to kick it off. I tried to stay as calm as possible and fight with a level head, but the dread gripping at my insides, whispering that I was going to die, made me panic as I tried to stab the snake, but it dodged my knife each time as if it was intelligent enough to do so.

“Yunho!” Mingi’s desperate shout almost felt like it shook the ground, and I hissed at the snake as another one got too close, trying to stab that one too. It was hard to accept the fact that I would die such a pathetic death, but I bet the Capitol would love it. They were always entertained by whatever the Gamemakers had prepared for us, and I felt my lips tremble as a pathetic whine left my lips when the snake’s body got tighter around my leg, opening its mouth in a menacing snarl. But the pain spreading from of its poison never came as Yunho suddenly appeared from around the trees, slicing snakes in half as he stepped hard on others, his eyes finding mine. He looked terrified once he noticed the snake around my leg, and without consideration for his life, he leapt forward and grabbed the snake with his bare hand, yanking it so hard that it tore its body in two. The snake hissed, but before it could try to do more harm, it was decapitated by Yunho’s axe, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Fuck, come on!” He snapped, and it helped me quench my terror as I scrambled onto my feet, almost tripping again but this time due to nothing. My whole body was shaking as Yunho’s fingers intertwined with mine, his palm calloused and sweaty as he was breathing hard.

“Yunho?!” Mingi sounded on the verge of hysteria as Yunho and I ran towards the pathway again, and I retrieved my axe quickly, stomping on a snake vengefully before we sprinted down the rocky pathway again. This time I made sure to not glance back even though the snakes were right by our feet, trying to bite at our calves, and Achilles tendon, some even trying to jump and latch onto our torsos.

“Keep running, Mingi!” Yunho screamed back as we could see him now since we were closer to him. He was standing with his bow and arrow drawn back, hands visibly shaking and his eyes red. But once he had spotted us, he took off again, going off the pathway and jumping over bushes.

“Where are we going?!” I panted out, swinging at a snake as it tried jumping at my body from the right side.

“I have no idea,” Yunho answered breathlessly but veered us off the pathway, following Mingi’s lead. Even though he was well ahead of us, Yunho seemed to constantly know his friend’s location, and which way we needed to go to catch up with him. And it seemed like Mingi had stopped running once we reached the small clearing, his calves soaked in the creak.

“Get in!” He was beckoning us over frantically, marching over to the side of the creak when we were finally close enough, and then he grabbed Yunho’s axe and yanked us aggressively inside the water. Yunho slipped and fell to his knees, his axe remaining in Mingi’s grip as Yunho panted, head hanging low. My legs threatened to give out too but I was mostly confused as I looked at Mingi, and then back at the approaching snakes.

“Why did we stop?!” I asked, fear coating my voice, “We’re going to die, I can’t—”

“The snakes won’t come into the water,” Mingi said, his jaw set tight as he looked at the approaching reptilians.

“How do you know?!” I gave him an incredulous look, my attention shifting onto Yunho when he rolled around, sitting on his bum despite getting his suit soaked once again.

“They aren’t water snakes, just—trust me.” Mingi’s deep tone was raw and tense as his eyes remained on the reptilians. I watched too, gripping my axe and ready to kill as many as needed, heart thundering in my chest. But just as one snake tried to get inside the water, it hissed out loudly and retreated, the others following suit. No snake got inside the water, it tried though, but it jumped back as if they were electrocuted by it. I felt all power leave my body as I crumbled to my knees, steadying myself on my hands as my stomach felt like turning upside down, about to empty its contents. Our pants were loud in the small clearing, the water flow calming despite the retreating hisses of the snakes. It was eery to hear them in the distance, and my body shuddered as I remembered it slithering up my leg.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered under my breath, looking up at Mingi and Yunho. Yunho was still sitting, his eyes staring out into nothing as Mingi had moved to sit on a rock, his plump lips swollen and his eyes filled with tears. It made my eyebrows furrow as I tried to calm my body and mind, but it was hard when dread seemed to have taken its residence inside my body, inside my mind. My jaw clenched as I shakily stood again, eyebrows furrowing, “How did you know?”

Mingi and Yunho looked at me, probably surprised by my feeble voice. I hated it, but I ignored it as my glare burned into Mingi’s face. His eyebrows furrowed, but he shrugged, “I guess I just—I’ve heard it somewhere? I just—it just felt like the right thing to do.”

“So, you didn’t know.” I huffed, closing my eyes as my body continued trembling from the lingering adrenaline in my system.

“Yeah, maybe—but we’re alive, we’re—fine.” Mingi’s voice got quiet as my eyes snapped open, fixating on him. I scoffed, snarling at him.

“We’re fine?” I questioned, feeling the heat rise into my cheeks due to anger, “We’re alive?”

“Yeah, we—”

“No,” I hissed, grabbing my axe tightly for stability, to ground myself, “I am alive because Yunho came back, because he saved me. What were you doing, huh, Mingi? Saving yourself, that’s what you were doing, I’ll tell you.”

Mingi gulped, his eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at Yunho briefly, “I was just…trying to find the creak. I knew you’d follow me, I—”

“So much for being a team, huh?” I chuckled but it was humourless, “Is this what you did with Katniss, too?”

Mingi froze, eyes slightly widening as a hurt expression crossed his face. I heard Yunho exhale sharply but I was focused on Mingi, my eyes narrowing as he continued avoiding eye contact. My heart was still racing but for different reasons now, I could hear the gears in my head turn, twisting my thoughts and whispering at me that I was right all along. Mingi and Yunho weren’t my allies, they were my enemies and they were trying to lure me further and further away from other possible tributes that could maybe help me if I needed it. I scoffed, feeling my skin burn underneath my suit.

“Tell me, Mingi, did Katniss really push you into the lake?” I raised my eyebrows, watching as the guy’s eyebrows furrowed some more, “Or did you jump in because you were planning on betraying her at some point, huh?”

“Y/N,” Yunho hissed, abruptly standing up, “stop talking to him like that, what are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now? How delusional do you sound?”

I chuckled, turning around to face Yunho as Mingi remained unmoving, frozen, dark eyes staring into the water as his hands clenched and unclenched, “Really, now, Yunho? I am delusional? I didn’t even want to team up with you two, you forced me into an alliance with you and Mingi and look where it got us! We both could’ve died out there while Mingi ran for his life! Did you forget what he’s done to his allies in the past—”

“Shut up.” Mingi snapped, standing up from his rock, jaw clenched and eyes ablaze with anger. He was breathing hard and his height was intimidating, looming over my shorter build as he approached me rapidly, “You don’t know shit about why I did that, Y/N. They were going to kill me that night, I heard them talking about it. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it to happen!”

I paused, licking my lips as I shook my head in disbelief, “And do you think at some point Yunho and I won’t turn against you? Do you think we won’t try to kill you?”

“We won’t.” Yunho hissed as he came closer too, his cheeks flushed and his expression conveying the simmering rage he must’ve felt underneath his skin. Yunho was rarely angry, but when he was, his voice thundered and his eyes turned sharp, lips pulled back in a snarl that was both frightening and almost comical, “Because I didn’t come here to kill anyone. We are getting out alive, but we have to find the others first.”

My jaw clenched as I looked between the two, shaking my head as I felt disappointment lick at my insides, somehow disheartened by their naivety. We weren’t going home, not all of us would survive, why could they not understand that finally?

“Are you fucking making fun of me, right now?” I said, voice hard as I looked at Yunho, “What games are you two playing, huh?! You’re insane if you think I’ll stay here with the two of you for one more second—”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Yunho hissed, stepping so close I had to crane my neck back to be able to look him in the eyes. My jaw clenched as I felt the axe slip from my fingers and I scoffed, raising my eyebrows tauntingly. The heavy weapon made a splashing sound once it collided with the water, and I could feel Mingi’s anxiety radiating off himself, his eyes watching us carefully, fingers curling around the edge of his hunting knife. I gulped, very aware that I was at a great disadvantage if the two decided to attack me right now, there were few chances I’d make it out alive. But even so, I would fight until my last breath, they couldn’t take me down that easily.

“Mingi is very clearly trying to kill me, why else would he separate me from Finnick? And the fact that you’re standing here and defending your good old buddy just proves to me that you are in on it too, Yunho. You didn’t even let me try and look for Finnick, you just dragged me away.” My heart was beating fast as my voice had started rising. Yunho looked a mixture of hurt and confused as his jaw clenched, not once looking away. I couldn’t see Mingi from my spot, but I could feel his gaze burn into the side of my head, “And the fact that he would’ve left me there for the snakes proves my point that he gives zero shit about me—and maybe about you too, Yunho, because he didn’t even think about coming to help you out. So maybe next time reconsider who your true friends are before making allegiances. If you want to kill me, come at me now.”

“Nobody is trying to kill you—” It was Mingi who spoke, sounding exasperated, “We are a team, I didn’t stop because I didn’t realize you two weren’t following me anymore. And when I finally did, I fucking turned back around and came running to help, but you had already figured it out! Do you think I wanted to separate from Katniss? The only person besides Yunho that I know and trust?! No, I didn’t fucking want to! She pushed me into the lake to save me and I freaking lost sight of her! Do you think I’m not trying to find her? Do you think I want to win these fucking Games again just to be tormented some more and more by Snow, by the memories and all the trauma?! I want to fucking die, Y/N, I hate my life and I hate myself. So killing you is the last thing on my mind, okay?!”

Something broke in my heart at how broken Mingi sounded, the way his tear-filled eyes just spilt down his cheeks, wetting them and making his eyes even redder. He was sniffing as he rubbed at his nose with the sleeve of his jacket, looking hurt and betrayed. I gulped, feeling torn between my own thoughts. I wanted to trust them, I really did, but what if they were just trying to soften me up with sob stories? What if it was all a ploy to get me to trust them, only for them to kill me? I wouldn’t put it past Mingi, and neither Yunho, we were in the Hunger Games after all and it wasn’t about forming bonds and long-lasting relationships, it was about survival, it was about killing until the strongest one was last standing. I shook my head, chewing on my bottom lip as I averted my eyes, looking up at Yunho with conflict, but knowing that I had already made my decision. I couldn’t stay with them, not when I distrusted them so much.

“It makes no sense to turn against each other,” Yunho spoke softly despite the anger still displayed on his features. He gulped and licked his lips, wanting to touch my cheek but he must’ve seen something on my face because he dropped his hand last minute, “Y/N, please just think rationally for a second and trust us. I don’t—I could never harm you, I just—I want all of us to go home and—I don’t know, but don’t do this. We will find both Katniss and Finnick, that’s what I’m trying to do, okay? But it’s hard tracking them down in this forest, we—”

“I’m not going with you anymore.” I cut Yunho’s rambling off, my jaw set tight as I released a sigh, stepping back to put distance between our bodies. Yunho and Mingi looked confused for a second, glancing at each other uncertainly, “And you have harmed me before, Yunho, but it seems like you wiped it all from your memory. It’s sweet really, I wish I could’ve too.”

Yunho’s mouth parted in shock, hand reached out but I raised mine, shaking my head, “I’ll find Finnick on my own, you two find Katniss and play besties with her, I guess. Just don’t—don’t cross my path because I won’t spare you, I can promise you that.”

Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed and he tried to reach for me again but Mingi held his shoulder, his jaw set tight. I grabbed my axe out of the water and took a deep breath, looking at the two for a long second before turning my back to them and rushing away from the creak, down the pathway we had explored earlier today. My jaw was tight and my muscles tense as I kept walking and walking, mind spinning as I concentrated hard to catch even the slightest shift around myself.

I had to put distance between myself and the other two, otherwise it wouldn’t be safe.

            Three days had passed since I left Yunho and Mingi behind. I had no success finding Finnick thus far and being alone in the Arena was getting to me. I couldn’t sleep as nobody had my back while I did so, hunting was slightly harder as it took more time than with others to help, and I also had to be constantly on the lookout for the traps the Gamemakers would send my way. I was struggling, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel more relaxed on my own than I did with Yunho and Mingi by my side. I couldn’t trust them and it was driving me crazy. Yunho was supposed to be the last one to keep watch but he had accidentally fallen asleep, leaving us defenceless. He was incompetent and I could put my life into the hands of a person who couldn’t as much as stay awake to make sure no one killed us in our sleep. Alone, without anyone to keep watch, I couldn’t exactly sleep, but I had fallen into a light slumber more than once. Climbing the trees to shelter myself from others for the night seemed like a reasonable thing to do, having learned it from Katniss as she had done the same last year in her Games.

The small fire I managed to conjure up by the spot I had claimed as my campsite was small and it crackled as I had waited for the frog to grill so that I could have dinner. Walking away from Yunho and Mingi also meant no support from the Capitol, and I wasn’t surprised when nobody sent me any gifts, not even a soothing balm after I had accidentally fallen into poison ivy. My skin was itchy and I tried to stop myself from scratching it raw, but it was hard when I had nothing to do but stay attuned to the sounds of the forests and watch out for anything that seemed misplaced. Yesterday, I was forced to kill two more tributes when they tried to take over my campsite, taunting me and laughing in my face, until I had decapitated the male tribute with just two swings. The two were the siblings from District 1, the Capitol’s most beloved victors after Finnick Odair, of course. It didn’t surprise me that nobody sent me gifts, given that I had just killed two people they seemed to really love. Without dwelling too much on what was already done, I continued searching for Finnick.

The forest felt huge and never-ending, and it felt like we were on different ends of Panem despite being enclosed inside a limited space. I was doing what I had been doing for the past three days when I suddenly heard leaves rustling behind me. I didn’t pause nor walk faster, I continued as if I hadn’t heard anything, trying to see if someone was following me—or something—or whether it was just the breeze that would blow through the Arena at times. I had opted not to go uphill anymore as I had a suspicion that Yunho and Mingi would continue searching for another cave to claim as theirs, unless it was infested with poisonous snakes once again. I gripped my axe tighter as I heard twigs snapping to my left, just behind some bushes. My steps halted and my head turned to look towards where the sound came from. I didn’t move, I didn’t breathe as my eyes bore into the trunk of a tree, narrowing when I saw something shift. I gulped and squared my shoulders back, ready to fight another tribute if needed. To be fair, I preferred the tributes over whatever mutants the Gamemakers had prepared for us, they were easier to kill and predictable, unlike the animals that shouldn’t even exist.

I took a step towards where the noise came from, but another twig snapped just behind me, making me whirl around. I couldn’t panic right now or else I’d lose my cool and make mistakes, which weren’t affordable here, especially since I was completely on my own. I gulped and narrowed my eyes, listening closely to the quietest of shifts, my eyes widening when I saw a head duck back behind the tree to my right. Was I surrounded? Who were these people? Did Yunho and Mingi find me? Did they have another ally to replace me?

I gulped, raising my axe to my chest as my jaw clenched, eyes trained on the tree where someone was hiding behind. But when I felt someone move past behind me, I was forced to whirl around and hurl my axe at—nothing. My heart was beating fast in my chest as my eyebrows furrowed, muscles tense as my axe fell to the forest floor, whoever passed behind me faster than my axe. I gulped and swiftly ran to get my axe, but paused just as my fingertips were about to reach it. Someone was breathing heavily to my right, behind a large tree, and with shaky fingers I grabbed the axe and stood up straight, pulling my arm back to swing it at whoever was taunting me.

“Come out!” I screamed, my jaw clenched as I firmly planted my feet on the ground. My chest fell and rose quickly as my eyes narrowed when I saw movement from behind the tree again.

“Y/N?” And just like that, I froze. My muscles didn’t turn more tense, instead, it felt like my whole body was a puddle as my mouth fell open, and my heart almost stopped in my chest, “I’m scared.”

I gasped loudly, my axe slipping from my grasp as my knees shook, mind reeling in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening, she—my little sister was dead. But her fragile voice called out again, shaking with fear, and I didn’t think as I sprinted towards the tree, desperate to catch a glimpse of her. How was she here? Had President Snow tricked me into believing my family was dead? I had never seen their bodies, after all, only their headstones upon my arrival to District 7, and I felt like fainting the more I thought about them being alive all this time.

“Ye-Yena?” My voice cracked as my fingers trembled just as I was about to round the tree. But my little sister whispered again, from a different spot this time, and I turned towards her voice again, hurrying over, “Where are you, Yena, please come out!”

My voice was breathy as tears obscured my vision, and I was on the verge of hysteria as I tried to find her, but she was always in some other spot, “Yena!”

I was panting from both adrenaline and fear as I tried to grab after my sister when she dashed from behind another tree, crying out in frustration. But I froze when a tall frame materialized in front of me, eyes dark and sharp, a contrast to Yena’s soft features.

“Jaebom?” My older brother didn’t move nor say anything as we stared into each other’s eyes, the first tears spilling down my cheeks as I sprung forward helplessly, my arms circling his torso, which was cold to the touch, “Jaebom, what’s happening?!”

But he didn’t answer me as more tears streamed down my cheeks, fingers grabbing onto his t-shirt tightly, shaking his unmoving body when he remained unresponsive, “Jaebom!”

And then, I heard a sinister cackle come from behind Jaebom, eerily similar to Yena’s childlike giggles. I untangled myself from Jaebom and looked past his shoulders, eyes widening when I saw Yena twirl my axe around in her hands as if it were made out of plastic. Her face looked ashen as she smirked, pouting her lips at me mockingly as my eyes shook. Her expression looked nothing like my little sister's. I didn’t understand what was happening anymore. Why were my siblings here, and why were they acting unlike themselves?

“Look at you,” Yena’s voice wasn’t light anymore, instead it was an angry snarl, “Living your happy life, rubbing it in our faces right now. What are you crying for, huh? Are you crying because you have to kill people again, like you’ve killed us?”

“What?” I whispered in confusion, flinching when Jaebom suddenly grabbed my bicep, his touch hot and burning, “I don’t understand—”

“You never do,” Jaebom snapped, and I whined as he started gripping my bicep painfully, “You always thought you were better than all of us, look where that got you. You’re just a pathetic excuse of a human being, everyone is ashamed of you. Mom and dad think you should’ve died instead of us, and now, you will die!”

In my confusion, too focused on the ache in my heart, I almost missed the huge knife Jaebom grabbed out of his belt, aiming it towards my heart. I gasped and punched him in the jaw, jumping away from him, “What are you doing—”

“Die, bitch.” Yena hissed as she took off towards me, making me scream in fright when she tried to lodge my own axe into my body. I was panting as I realized my siblings were trying to kill me, and without wasting another second, I pushed Yena to the ground and took off in a sprint, running away mindlessly as I could hear them pursuing me. My heart was beating like crazy in my chest as my siblings made weird noises, they were almost howling, and they sounded like animals. I couldn’t look back, too afraid that I’d lose my footing again, so I was forced to blindly run from them, making sharp twists and turns in hopes of losing them. But my worst nightmare seemed to materialize in front of me, as suddenly, I started seeing my mother's and father’s faces from behind trees, peeking at me with sinister smiles on their faces, cackling loudly as Jaebom hurled his long knife at me. I was lucky enough to take a right turn as he did so, the knife lodging itself into a tree as I gasped, eyes filling with tears again.

“Why are you doing this?!” I screamed as something suddenly burned my arm, and as I looked to my right, I was horrified to see my mother running alongside me, her hand burning into my arm as she had a wicked smile on her lips, “Stop!”

“You’re coming with us this time, daughter.” It was my father who was suddenly standing by the creak, holding a sword in both of his hands as I tried to steer clear of his path, but my mother’s grip was unnaturally strong and she kept dragging me towards it. I screamed and trashed around, feeling suffocated as my mother continued to cackle, my father’s eyes filled with hatred as he angled his sword so��that he could gut me alive. I was a sobbing mess as I struggled to free myself, trashing around, and even trying to punch my mother but nothing seemed to work. I could feel Jaebom looming over me from behind, the heel of my own axe pressing into my back as I cried harder, whimpering when Yena appeared next to my father, twirling a knife in her hands.

“Poor Y/N.” Her voice dropped low, almost as if it was a man talking, and it made me realize that whatever was happening right now wasn’t real. It was something created by the Arena, it wasn’t their ghosts nor their vengeful spirits here to take me away, and yet, I still couldn’t fight my mother’s grip off as I clawed at her hand, biting her cold flesh in hopes that she’d release me.

“Let me go!” I screamed again, twisting my body away when my father’s sword came dangerously close, Jaebom’s burning grip tight on my nape as he angled my body to be strung on the sword, “No!”

I didn’t want to die, not like this. I was shaking from head to toe as I tried one last time to get out of the grip of my mother and brother, but nothing was working as I felt the tip of the sword press against my belly. The four cackled loudly as my ears rang, and I gasped when the sword pressed deeper into my tummy, drawing blood, but all the external pain disappeared abruptly as I felt my body pushed to the side aggressively, wrenching me out of the tight grips of the mutants that posed as my family. I screamed again when I felt hands on my shoulders trying to turn me around, and I drew my fists back, the only thought in my mind being to harm anyone who touched me.

“Y/N!” Despite being so lost in my mind, I registered the familiar ring of the voice, the panic and fear in them as I threw the first punch, breathing hard and loudly as if I were a rabid dog. I wouldn’t fall victim to the Capitol, not like this, they couldn’t kill me by using mutants. I couldn’t give Snow the satisfaction, I had to fight until my last breath, until a tribute killed me. I couldn’t go like this, I wasn’t ready. I was scared. I was alone and nobody would be there with me when I took my last breath, nobody would reassure me that it would be okay, and nobody would smile at me for the last time. I would be alone, and that thought alone was scarier than the fact that I would be dying. So I didn’t stop as I screamed and punched blindly, my sight hazy and my mind a jumbled mess as someone continued calling out my name like a mantra, the sounds around me slowly registering inside my brain, “Y/N! Please, please, it’s us. Y/N, it’s Finnick.”

I gasped, my eyes widening as if I was seeing for the first time. My lungs burned, my muscles ached, and my heart was beating so fast I was having palpitations as suddenly I could see the person standing in front of me, his face pained as tears streaked down his rosy cheeks. He had me in a deathly grip, my biceps sore from it, but it wasn’t to harm me, it was to stop me from doing anything to myself or him, to the others, “Finnick?”

A beat of silence passed as I stared into chocolate-warm eyes, so utterly confused and pent. Then, an arrow wheezed past my head and I jumped with a gasp, wide eyes falling onto the body of my brother, no blood flowing out of his body as he crumbled to the ground. He looked lifeless as he turned into nothing and I felt my bottom lip starting to quiver as I looked back at the person holding me. I had no fight left in me as I attempted to push them off of me, but I was tackled to the ground before I could make another move. The wind was knocked from my lungs as my head thumped painfully, eyes hazy as a weight settled on top of my body, pinning my hips to the cold forest floor, hands above my head as long, cold, fingers intertwined with mine.

“It’s not real.” The man holding me down whispered, his voice shaky as he gulped, “They weren’t real, Y/N. But I am real, I’m here now.”

“Yun-Yunho?” I stuttered, my throat hoarse from having screamed so much. I felt a fresh wave of tears spring into my eyes as Yunho’s filled with tears too, and without thinking, I untangled our fingers and threw my arms around his neck, yanking him down into a tight hug, “Yunho.”

My whole body shook as sobs wracked it, tears wetting Yunho’s jacket’s collar as his warm body slowly melted into mine, offering me the warmth I had been craving so much all this time. His musky scent was comforting and felt like home as I buried my head into his neck, inhaling until my lungs burned and I had to exhale once again. Yunho was safe, he was the pillar I needed all this time unknowingly, he was the one to chase the darkness away and protect me from my own dark and twisted mind. I only cried harder when Yunho started shushing me, pressing kisses against my temple, rubbing my back once he sat back and brought me with himself, letting me settle in his lap as I clung to him. I had been terrified these past three days, scared for my own life, but also wondering whether Yunho had made it past another day every time the canon shattered the quietness of the Arena.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, voice raw as I gulped, hoping it would help, “Yunho, I’m—I—”

“Shh, it’s alright.” Yunho whispered, gently prying my tight grip off himself as he pushed me back to gaze into my eyes, “I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again, Y/N, I don’t care what you say—”

“Please don’t leave me, Yunho.” I gasped, words tumbling past my lips before I could stop them, “I can’t live without you, Yunho.”

I was vulnerable, I wasn’t in the right headspace, but I knew my confession was true. I had always suspected it, but I was too afraid to admit it to myself. I was afraid President Snow would kill Yunho like he had killed my family. I didn’t want him around because I was scared to love again, to offer my heart to someone who could crush it so easily both with words and actions. Yunho knew me best and vice versa, I couldn’t live another day not knowing whether he was safe or not. I didn’t want him out of my sight ever again, I just couldn’t lose him too.

“I’m—” Yunho gulped, his voice deep as his eyes shook, jaw clenched tightly, “here.”

I released a shaky breath and leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together, feeling the safest in the past three days. The rustling of leaves made me tense up again and my head whipped around, eyes widening when I realized multiple people were watching us. I felt my cheeks heat up as I tried to scramble out of Yunho’s lap, but his fingers only tightened into the fabric of my jacket and he held my waist tightly, shaking his head at me when I gave him a sharp look. It seemed like he wouldn’t let go of me anytime soon, so I was forced to swallow my shame as I looked back at the other tributes, who seemed to be looking at me with pity. I ignored it, it made me feel weak.

“Those things are vile,” Mingi muttered, his jaw clenched, “But you should be fine the next time you see them if you ignore them.”

“And if you don’t, don’t let them grab you.” Katniss said, her tone harsh but features soft, “Kill them before they can.”

I nodded, eyes falling on the male tribute from District 3, Beetee. He wasn’t looking at me, his eyes trained on the sky as he muttered something to himself, apparently unphased by the whole ordeal. However, when my eyes landed on the fourth person, my heart skipped a beat, and even if Yunho didn’t want to release me, I pried myself out of his arms and ran to Finnick, jumping into his arms as he laughed while twirling me around.

“Finnick.” I whispered into his neck as his laughter subsided into a chuckle, his smile bright as ever as I pulled back, gazing into his beautiful blue eyes, “I found you.”

“Technically, I found you.” Cheeky as ever, he winked before he pressed a wet kiss against my forehead, lowering me back onto the ground. Our fingers intertwined as I couldn’t help but beam at him, my heart still heavy due to everything that’s happened though, “I’m glad you’re fine.”

“Well, I’ve been better.” I muttered as Finnick and I chuckled, swinging around hands as I glanced around, eyebrows furrowing, “Where’s…Mags?”

Finnick’s expression fell and I knew as I felt tears flood my eyes once again. A shaky breath left his lips as I pressed on my tiptoes to pull him into a tight and warm hug, rubbing his back as he hugged me back just as tightly, “I’m sorry, Finnick.”

“She’s in a better place now,” Finnick whispered, sniffing when we pulled apart, his eyes trained on the ground. My jaw clenched but I knew I couldn’t do anything now, just carry the grief with myself and bury it deep down until the Games would be over. Katniss, looking like she wasn’t keen on all the affection, averted her eyes and looked around the forest, pointing towards the creak.

“We should probably set camp here after we have scoped the area out.” Mingi nodded as he went and helped Yunho stand, his eyes trained on Finnick and me. I gulped and only looked away, body tense. I didn’t want to talk to him, I had nothing else to say, not now. I couldn’t believe I had admitted something so personal, something that was supposed to be buried deep down in my heart and mind. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that without Yunho I would be nowhere right now.

“Let’s go.” Yunho sighed, taking the lead with Katniss as I remained glued to Finnick’s side, eager to catch up with him if it meant I could ignore Yunho and his burning stare. I was most certainly grateful that he had saved me, but he was still not someone I could fully trust. Maybe it was all a ploy, an act to earn my trust, only to backstab me later into the Games.

My only true ally was Finnick.

            Something felt different, weird, almost. Beetee was a genius, everyone already knew that, and yet the way his mind works still amazed me. Apparently, the lightning that struck the largest tree in the Arena each time at midnight, could be used to our advantage. Beetee had the resources to create a sort of electrical fire that would leave the Gamemakers no choice but to rescue the remaining victors if they didn’t want the Capitol to riot for not having a victor for the 75th Hunger Games. President Snow wanted a year of epic games? Beetee was right here to deliver and I was more than willing to help him out. Everyone from our small group was in on his plan, and we were planning to strike tonight as everyone remained unassuming about our great plan. There was something else, however, that nobody was telling me about. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, The Mockingjay, seemed to be the nucleus of it all. She had to be protected at all costs and she was supposed to remain on Beetee’s side as long as someone who could fight remained with them. We had to look out for each other and remain close, but I didn’t fully understand why protecting Katniss seemed to be our most important mission.

Nobody tried clearing up my confusion, and when Finnick reassured me that everything would be alright and that he’d have my back no matter what, I decided to stop asking or wondering. Two days had passed since I joined the small group and things had been quiet—a bit too quiet. Nobody had died in the past two days and there was a simmering tension in the Arena, as if the Gamemakers knew we were about to ruin their so-called ‘perfect’ Games. There was nothing perfect about it, it was purely terrifying and torturous, a barbaric form of entertainment as this just proved that the Capitol didn’t see the people from the districts as human beings. That was nothing new, but being forced back into the Arena made me realize once again that I couldn’t let President Snow control me anymore, I was done playing his games.

I wanted the Capitol to burn, I wanted President Snow to die and suffer like so many of us had under his reign. He could’ve been a better president, a better person, but he chose violence, he chose to punish us for something that we, the ones born after the revolution, had nothing to do with. The cycle of life wasn’t always fair, the trauma parents carried with themselves would pass onto their children, who would carry it with them for generations—unless there was just one person who decided to put an end to it. To change, to prosper, to start a new cycle.

That new cycle started with us, with Katniss, Mingi, Yunho, Finnick, Beetee, and me, here, in the Arena, as a form of riot against the oppression we were forced to endure, the pain and grief buried deep in our souls. I have heard about the riots, people in District 7 were loud and proud about taking the Capitol down if given a chance, and it only took me two days to realize why it was only happening now. A spark had been sensed, turning into a catching fire that would reach us all, either burn us or help us return from the ashes as a new person, as a new nation. The pain and anguish would never be forgotten, instead celebrated and honoured in respect to those who have lost their lives to such atrocities. And we would all thank one girl, Katniss Everdeen, who unknowingly gave the nation the spark of hope they desperately needed. I had no idea whether I’d survive whatever was about to go down tonight, but I was sure of one thing, I wouldn’t regret it. Not now, not tomorrow. I was doing it for myself, for my siblings, for my parents, and for everyone else who has suffered as much, or more, than I have. If Panem had to burn, President Snow would burn with us.

The morning passed by in the blink of an eye as we went over our plan once again, assigning partners and positions. I was supposed to stay with Katniss and Beetee, close to Finnick who’d be watching Mingi from afar. Yunho, who refused to separate from me at first, was supposed to go with Mingi until a certain point, and then he’d have to secure the area, map it out and alert us if anything seemed amiss. He’d be the last one, the one furthest from me, and despite the unsettling feeling creeping deep in my guts, I ignored my anxiety and focused on my task at hand. I had to protect Katniss and Beetee if anything were to happen. I was strong and merciless, everyone knew I could handle myself, but if I needed help somehow, then Katniss would be there and even Mingi. They weren’t people I trusted, but something told me nobody in our small group was out there to kill me…not yet, at least, and I could live with that for the time being.

Knowing that we’d need to be at our best, Finnick, Katniss, and Yunho went out to hunt something for lunch so that our bellies would be full for the rest of the day. Because Yunho and Finnick were so liked by many, thankfully we were also provided with various canned foods from the Capitol, their fans were desperately sending in supplies, and letters too, confessing their love and dread that they might not return. It made me chuckle whenever one of them had to read the letters out loud, looking at a camera with a sad, but grateful, expression in order to keep up the façade. We really needed these provisions, they couldn’t ruin their A-game just now. Finnick had returned with plenty of fish from the lake, meanwhile, Katniss and Yunho had opted to hunt for wild ducks and frogs. The meat had been cooked by Mingi and me while Beetee revised the plan over and over again, asking us questions to make sure that we had memorized what we were supposed to do.

Once the food was done and everyone settled down for lunch, the tense air surrounding us seemed to dissipate as we silently ate our meal, relishing in the comradery that’s formed between us. Finnick was by my side as we sat leaning against a tree, sharing a loaf of bread he had gotten from a fan, as he preferred to eat the fish he caught while I continued to eat the frog Yunho had caught for us. Mingi, very surprisingly, had gotten a package filled with nutrients that we hadn’t even heard of before, and while we were wary of consuming them, Beetee reassured us that he knew what these were and that they were safe for consumption as they used the same nutrients in District 3. As my stomach was finally full and I finished eating everything I had claimed, I continued sitting next to Finnick, leaning against his body.

He was warm and smelled like the ocean despite having been away from it for so long, and I had always found solace in the silence that felt comfortable between us. Finnick knew when not to push someone, and I knew when to speak up to cut through the tranquillity, “Do you think we’ll survive this?”

“Yes,” Finnick’s voice was a mere whisper as he scoped up a good chunk of meat and handed it over to me, “I must, for Annie. She lost Mags, I can’t let her lose me too.”

I gulped, all too aware of Annie’s situation as I accepted the fish despite feeling full. It tasted salty almost, so very different from the frog meat, but I think I could get used to it after having it for more meals.

“I have no one to return to,” I muttered under my breath, bringing my knees up to my chest as I let my arms circle them. I gulped, looking down at the dirty ground as the sounds of the other’s conversing became background noise, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of dying, of being alone, of never having been enough.

“That’s simply not true.” Finnick’s voice sounded strained as I felt him shift, gorgeous blue eyes boring into the side of my head, “You have me, and if I make it out alive, I can’t lose you. You’re just as important to me as Annie is, as Mags was. I never had a little sister, but thanks to you I know what it means to have one.”

I chuckled, turning my head so my cheek pressed against my knees, eyes falling on the frown on Finnick’s face, “Technically, I’m older than you. But I understand you, you’re, well, you’ve always been like a brother to me. And I love you, Finnick, I hope you know that. I have no idea what the outcome of our plan will be, but if we both make it out alive, I want to visit District 4. I want to meet Annie and maybe—maybe I’d like living in a house next to yours, maybe I’d like to see the ocean for real and not just through pictures.”

Finnick’s features softened as he placed his palm over my cheek, warm and calloused, offering me much-needed assurance, “I’d love that, and Annie would too. She has always wanted to meet you, but President Snow never allowed it. Which is for the better, honestly, I would’ve hated the thought of Annie at the Capitol. I fear I would’ve done something unforgivable.”

I hummed and nodded as Finnick’s warm palm fell from my face, his head turning as he gazed ahead. He sniffed and then cleared his throat, glancing at me for a brief moment, “But you’re not alone, Y/N. Even if I’m not there, you’re never alone. He’s—Yunho is always there, even when you don’t see it, Y/N. I think—I think you should let him in, he’s not a bad man.”

I gulped, stomach dropping at the mention of Yunho, and I sighed as I sat up straight again, jaw clenching when I averted my eyes from Finnick’s. Just to my luck, however, I spotted Yunho sitting not too far from us. Mingi was sharpening the axe for him as Yunho’s chocolate brown eyes were fixed on Finnick and me, his eyebrows deeply set and his jaw tense. I gulped and then averted my eyes once again, shaking my head with a huff, “He doesn’t know me, not the real me, at least. He only wants the good and pretty, he only sees those qualities in people. Once the perfect image is shattered, he’ll be gone, he’ll abandon me. I don’t want him to lodge himself into my heart when I know just how quickly you can lose someone.”

“You’re scared of loving him,” Finnick’s tone was full of compassion as I felt him look at me, Yunho’s gaze still burning into the side of my head as I gazed off into the distance, feeling nervous all of a sudden, “And you’re drowning in guilt and unspoken questions and feelings, Y/N. I know you don’t trust him, but you already love him, you just refuse to acknowledge the fact, and it’s doing you no good, trust me. I’m afraid too that I’ll lose Annie, I’m terrified of Snow snatching her away from me, but if I refuse to love and live the life I want, then that would mean I am letting Snow dictate my everything, it would mean that I am robbing myself of the pleasures of life. And you know Yunho would never do anything that you are uncomfortable with, no, he’d bring down the stars for you if he could, Y/N. Stop being foolish and—”

“Excuse me.” My body grew rigid as Yunho’s stern voice interrupted Finnick’s heartfelt speech, “Do you mind if I talk to Y/N?”

“Not at all.” Finnick’s smile was friendly as he nudged me, making me clench my jaw as I glanced at Yunho. He stood in front of me, looking down at me with a glare, rather standoffish for a person who was always smiling, happy and oh-so bright. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, talk if you—”

“In private.” Yunho snapped, and before I could react, his firm grip around my bicep was pulling me up to my feet, not even letting me argue as I was tugged away from our camp, but not too far so that we’d be in hearing range if anything were to happen to either them or to us. I pulled my arm out of his grip and glared at him, feeling nervous for no reason as Yunho continued to glare back at me. It was unusual, out of character for him.

“What’s your problem with me?” I did not expect that question, and neither what he said next, “What’s so fucking horrible about me that you go willingly into the arms of the biggest playboy known to Panem, that you find solace and trust in that man when I’ve always been by your side, there for you, offering you a shoulder to lean on, a man you can trust and—and love. What does Finnick have that I don’t, Y/N?! Why do you continuously brush me off and treat me like shit, but then you laugh at anything Finnick says and you look at him with so much adoration, I-I just don’t understand, Y/N. I was there, I was always there, I helped you when you saw no outcome, I was there when you grieved your family, I was there when you struggled with the consequences of winning the Games, I was there even when you continued to push me away! I never stopped trying to make you feel safe, to comfort you and to—show you that it’s okay to open up and that you can love again without being scared of death. Why can’t you just—give back even just a little fraction of my affection?!”

To say that I was stunned was understandable. My face fell in shock and my mouth hung open as Yunho became erratic, his expression a mixture of frustration and helplessness as his eyes shook, his hands curled into fists. I gulped, letting his words settle so that I could answer, but I felt utterly speechless. How was I supposed to respond to something that felt like a confession but a complete scolding as well?

“You don’t understand me like Finnick does,” I gulped, licking my lips as Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed, “And you never will, Yunho, because you were never forced to sell your body unwillingly to men that only saw you as a piece of meat. Physical closeness, intimacy—it scares me because I’ve only suffered from it. I’ve never felt the loving touch of a man, no loving words were ever uttered to me, and I was told more often than not that I didn’t deserve love, that I was too rough and scary, too intimidating and manly for a man to love me despite being beautiful. Finnick, he knows what it feels like to be used, to do things you don’t want to out of fear of losing someone. And even if this wasn’t the issue, Yunho, how could I trust you when you’ve tried to kill me?”

“What?” Yunho seemed shaken, his voice breathy as he reached out just to let his hand drop before he could grip my wrist, “What are you talking about—I have never tried to kill you, why would I—”

“Seriously?” I snapped, sudden anger flaring deep in my bones, “You’re still going to act clueless when I call you out on it? Think, Yunho, think for one second for fucks sake! You were supposed to be my mentor, the person that looks out for me, that protects me and helps me win these fucking Games, yet you send in food that’s poisoned?!”

Yunho looked like he had no idea what I was talking about and I scoffed, stepping closer to him as my jaw clenched, “District 6, the female tribute, I was cornered three days before my Games came to an end, and I was hungry. You sent me a package but I couldn’t reach it and it landed between the tributes that were hounding me. The girl decided to eat what was sent for me—she died in four minutes, Yunho.”

And just then, recognition finally flashed in Yunho’s eyes, but it didn’t last for long as suddenly he seemed to look desperate, grabbing my wrists as he shook his head, “It wasn’t food, it was never food, Y/N. If you had seen the small letter, you would’ve known it was poison from the get-go. It said, ‘sweet like honey’, and you know what we use that for in District 7, you would’ve known. I was trying to help you, I knew you’d survive, I was never trying to kill, why would I—I’m in love with you, Y/N. I wasn’t back then yet, but I-I knew I couldn’t watch you die in that Arena.”

My mind was reeling. I gulped, suddenly feeling my lungs constrict as Yunho’s grip felt like it was burning my wrists. I pried them away and took a step back, gulping as my hands started shaking. I have been living in a lie this whole time. I have made myself believe that Yunho was the enemy, that Yunho wanted me gone. I took a shaky breath and gulped again, watching as sadness spread over Yunho’s features like wildfire. His features softened as I felt my heart ache more, disbelief written all over my face. Why had I been so stupid? Why did I let Snow make me believe anything he said?

Why was I so afraid to lose Yunho?

            Nightfall came sooner than before. The tension was back and I felt sick to my stomach. Something felt wrong the longer we trekked, the closer we came to the tree. Everyone was silent, focused on our surroundings and making sure we weren’t being followed by any other tributes. But something was very wrong and I just couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore as I released a shaky breath, my eyes settling on Yunho who was walking in front of me with Mingi by his side, huddled closely together as they conversed quietly. Finnick’s pinkie was laced with mine as he swung our hands between our bodies, I ignored his playful smile when he pretended to stumble on a rock. I needed to speak to Yunho, nothing made sense anymore. I haven’t said anything since he told me he never tried killing me, and Yunho was keen on offering me space as he remained by Mingi’s side, occasionally giving me a soft smile if he noticed me looking his way.

Bothered by the incessant tension in my body, the gut feeling that something would go very wrong, I marched forward and grabbed Yunho’s wrist, making him halt in surprise. Finnick glanced at us as he passed by us and then grabbed Mingi’s shoulder when he stopped to wait for us, whispering something to the taller one before Mingi walked with Finnick again. My heart was thundering in my chest as I gulped, my eyes boring into Yunho’s as it was dark in the arena, yet his chocolate brown eyes were unmistakable.

“Are you okay?” Yunho asked with a gentle tone, letting his axe drop to the ground as he stepped closer, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“No.” I gulped, tone shaky as I glanced past Yunho, at the others who hadn’t noticed our absence yet, “Something is wrong, Yunho, I don’t have a good feeling about this. What—what if we die? Yet worse, what if the Capitol captures us and we—we never see each other again? Yunho, I—I don’t want to do this. Let’s find another way, let’s run away, let’s—”

“Y/N.” Yunho's smile was gentle as he stepped even closer, cupping my cheek with his big palm, leaning slightly down, “We can’t run away, and it’s completely normal to be scared of the unknown. I’m nervous too, but remember, we are doing this to make a statement, to show them that they can’t mess with us anymore. If Katniss manages to pull this off, we’ll be free. We’ll go home and we…we’ll see what happens next, okay?”

No, he didn’t understand. We wouldn’t go home, something just didn’t feel right. It was too dangerous, too risky, what were the odds our plan would be successful when there were other tributes still in the Arena with us?

“It just doesn’t feel right.”

“But we’re doing the right thing.”

I exhaled, jaw tense as I looked up into Yunho’s eyes, stepping closer until our chests were almost brushing together, “Then don’t let them separate us.”

“What?” Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed, his gulp audible as his fingers flexed around my wrist. I released a shaky breath and licked my lips, hesitant to touch Yunho, but I managed to grab the side of his neck, his skin soft and warm to the touch.

“Yunho, I’m asking you to stay by my side no matter what happens.” My tone was firm as he gulped, his eyes searching my face, “I can’t—I’ve been afraid, all this fucking time unknowingly, of losing you. And when we are so close to being free, of exploring whatever could be between us, I—I’m scared that Snow will find a way to snatch you away from me, so please, don’t let go of me. Don’t let me out of your sight, don’t walk away, I know I’m a horrible person, but I’m asking you to hold on just a little more and—”

“Y/N.” Yunho’s sharp tone cut my rambling off, and I gulped, on the verge of tears as I realized just how afraid I was. He didn’t say anything else as our eyes bore into each other’s, he just gulped, jaw clenched and then, he started leaning down, closer and closer, until—our lips touched.

And I don’t think I have felt euphoria like this one in my whole life before. The sounds around us seemed to become mute as my legs felt weak, my body melting into Yunho’s as I didn’t waste any more seconds and pressed up on my tiptoes, circling my arms around his shoulders to pull him incredibly close. Yunho’s lips were warm and soft despite our circumstances and I felt a shudder rake my body when his hand slowly slipped into my hair, holding the back of my head firmly as we parted for a second. His other hand grabbed my waist and as my eyes opened, I realized I wanted this. I wanted Yunho to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me. I wanted to be in his embrace and I wanted to feel his scent on me, I wanted his warmth to envelope my body, and I wanted him to shield me from this cruel world forever. Words that were heavy threatened to tumble past my lips, so instead, I closed the gap again and this time I made sure my intentions weren’t questionable, or hesitant, but full of passion and unspoken words.

Yunho was intense in everything he did, he laughed with his whole body, and he loved with his whole heart, whenever he did something, he put his all into it and his kiss was no different. His lips were demanding as they moved against mine, a little bit frantic as we were pressed by time, and even more desperate when I let my lips part for him, a silent request for him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to know that I desired him, that it was completely fine to touch me and enjoy our actions. Yunho whimpered as he took my bottom lip between his teeth, and I felt warmth crawl all over my body, settling in my cheeks as my whole face felt like it was burning up. I had never enjoyed a kiss before in my life, but I prayed this would never end. When Yunho’s tongue finally slipped past my lips and reached my own tongue, I wished there was something to support my weight, to ground me into reality as I lost all senses, body and mind alive in a way I had never experienced before. It was careful, but it was intense and demanding, yet I didn’t feel pressured nor disgusted as saliva pooled in the corner of my mouth, fingers tangling into Yunho’s hair at his nape.

As his tongue played with mine and Yunho’s loud puffs of air hit my face, I moaned, unable to keep the sound down when I felt his fingers digging through my tight suit, fingernails leaving dents in my body. I wanted him to mark me up, I wanted him to show the whole Capitol that I was his, that no trashy man could ever again touch me, that President Snow couldn’t do to us anything anymore because we’d always have each other’s backs. I wanted Yunho’s mouth on mine for an eternity, never growing tired of him and his passionate kisses. Our noses bumped together when I tilted my head slightly more, giving Yunho more access as my heart thundered in my chest, so powerful that I could hear it in my ears. It was consuming, Yunho’s love was scary as it swallowed me whole, but I was greedy and I needed more. I had been a fool, such a fool, to deny us this feeling, this moment, this experience. It was too late to go further, even if I threw all dignity away, I knew we couldn’t, but I hoped it wasn’t too late for us. For us to have this in the future, to love and to be loved.

I gasped as we parted again. Yunho was loudly panting as his eyebrows furrowed, cupping my cheeks with both hands as his fingers dug into my skin painfully. A shuddered breath left my lips as I blinked my eyes open, gulping as I copied him, holding his cheeks tenderly as Yunho’s bottom lip quivered, nuzzling his cheek against my hold. He looked at peace, but the furrow of his eyebrows told me that he wasn’t satisfied, that he was bothered by something. In a hopeless attempt to offer him just a fraction of the comfort he’d given me throughout the years, I pressed a kiss to each eye, then to his nose, and a swift peck to his lips. It made Yunho smile as his eyes opened, shining in the dark affectionately as I felt a lump in my throat. It was scary to allow him in, but I was done hiding, I was done fearing the unknown.

“When we’re out of here,” Yunho gulped, determined as his eyes melted into mine, “I’m going to marry you.”

I would’ve gasped if I could’ve, but I was too stunned to even react as he kissed me again before we heard Mingi call out our names. We didn’t have time for this right now, but we’d have plenty in the future. I wasn’t ready to marry Yunho just yet, but with time, I was sure I’d be able to fully trust him, to give my all to him.

“Just don’t let me go,” I whispered as Yunho very reluctantly released me, our hands finding each other as our fingers intertwined, a motion I was used to but found something new in it now. It wasn’t just for show, it wasn’t just to show me that I had someone next to me, it was to seal our promise and tell me that Yunho wasn’t going anywhere.

            Beetee’s plan failed. Someone had sabotaged us, the wire had been cut, and the lightning wouldn’t bring the Arena down. We were stuck here, forced to kill each other, forced to choose between two people I loved and myself. Katniss looked frantic from my spot, I was watching her from the bush just as planned. Electricity was gathering in the air, tension filling the Arena as the lightning prepared to strike. Katniss was too close to the tree, hell, even I was too close to it, but Katniss was in danger right now and she wasn’t moving away. I could hear rustling coming from behind but it was supposed to be Finnick, I wasn’t worried about it. Just as the sky became lighter, energy crackling above our heads, Katniss did something I never thought anyone would do. She grabbed the wire and tied it to her arrow, standing up strong and tall as she pulled it back, her eyes set on the lightning that was just about to strike her. As I was about to shout her name and tackle her to save her from her insane plan, it was too late. The lightning struck as the arrow shot straight at it, the wire frying off and sizzling as a deafening boom shook the arena.

The blast was so strong that I couldn’t react before the explosion sent me flying feet away from my initial spot, my back cracking when I hit a tree. My spine tingled in pain as I fell to the ground, groaning and wheezing for air as my body trembled from the shock of the hit, panic rising in my disoriented state. I couldn’t hear as my ears were ringing, and my vision was so hazy it made me sick and unable to stand as I tried to find my footing, instantly tumbling back to the ground. Then, something even worse happened. The darkness of the Arena was slowly disappearing as the sky cracked and tore into heavy metal pieces that were plummeting straight at us. I knew I was in danger, and I knew both Yunho and Finnick were too. I pushed myself up and ignored the aching of my body as I heaved for air again, crawling on my fours towards where I knew Finnick was at. But I didn’t get any far when I was tackled back onto the ground, Mingi’s blurry face appearing above me. I panicked, trying to find my axe, but I was so powerless that it was easy for him to get on top of me and press a hand against my mouth as I tried to scream for help. His forehead was bloody and the top of his suit torn, jacket long lost somewhere in the Arena. His bow and arrow were missing and were replaced with a knife he held menacingly.

I gasped against his sweaty palm when I felt a sharp pain in my lower arm, close to my veins, somewhere close to where the tracker had been injected. I screamed against Mingi’s palm when the knife was twisted into my skin, feeling warm blood trickle down to my wrist and hands, a burning feeling spreading up my arm, to my shoulders. And then, as fast as he came, Mingi was gone, running off into the distance as my body convulsed, shaking even more as I turned onto my back, pieces of the Arena’s roof shaking the ground as they fell around the forest. I was petrified, I was disoriented and my throat wouldn’t work as I tried to call for Yunho, frantically getting up to my feet to look for him. I stumbled into every possible tree and almost slipped on the weeds as I went downhill, searching for the one man who’s always been there for me. I couldn’t abandon him, not now, not ever. But when I finally found him, it wasn’t the way I hoped to be.

Yunho lay on the ground, unmoving and sickly pale as blood trickled down the corner of his mouth, coating the collar of his jacket and suit a deep red. I could faintly hear myself call out his name again and again, feet carrying me over quickly, only to tumble to the ground and bruise my body more, but at least Yunho seemed to stir awake. His eyebrows were furrowed as his eyes opened and he clutched at his chest with a pained expression. I scrambled to get to him, but the ground shook and my legs were so weak I couldn’t stand again. I felt tears in my eyes and dread grip my heart as Yunho turned onto his side, coughing and spitting up some more blood.

“Yunho!” A scream so shrill my ears rang left my lips, and he finally seemed to realize he wasn’t alone as his eyes snapped up, rounding when he noticed me. I couldn’t hear him as I tried to drag myself over, feeling nauseous and on the verge of passing out, but it looked like he was saying something, like he was calling out to me. And then, the ground shook another time and I lunged myself forward as the light in Yunho’s eyes dimmed, his hand extended towards me as I fell not far from him, reaching out desperately towards him. Our fingers touched as dark spots started coating my vision and I gasped for air, fighting against the urge to give in to the darkness, waiting to aid Yunho, but I couldn’t. As blinding light flooded the whole Arena, the roof completely caving in, all I could do was mutter a prayer to see Yunho once I woke up again. If I’d wake up.

The next time I was conscious again, however, what I heard despite the unbearable headache and the dull ache of my spine, didn’t sound at all good, nor reassuring, “Katniss, there is no District Twelve.” And all I could think about was, where is Yunho?

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❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

[velvetvexations]

With Warless Weekend over, it's time I address Plaidos openly accusing me of secretly being a man! Oh, yeah, she's doing that now. I'm tagging this because I'm annoyed at Very Popular Tumblr Transfeminist misgendering a trans woman because her politics are too transmasc-friendly.

Isn't it great how she cuts this off, implying I think segregation by sex is not a big deal, rather than it being ridiculous she's made Michfest specifically her 9/11? I try so often to word everything I say in a way that can't be snipped like this but I clearly fucked up here.

Let's breakdown the reasoning given in her reply to a reblog concurring that I'm probably a sockpuppet:

Plaidos is assuming as TRFs always do that her clique is fully representative of transfems on Tumblr so if she never sees me positively interacting with them I must specifically be avoiding them. The reality is that I simply don't inspect the genitals of everyone I interact with.

Not only do I often argue with self-identified TMEs, probably even more than trans women, but Plaidos is literally responding to a self-identified TME who's talking about me having argued with them, so framing this as me going after trans women is ridiculous. I can literally pull up screenshots that I'm pretty sure predate me coming back to Tumblr where I talk about how it seems from what I observed on the outside was that the rabidly transandrophobic crowd was mostly non-trans women bloodletting for one or two idols, which is a notion I was unfortunately and despairingly disillusioned of upon getting into the trenches myself.

Also, "dishonorable"? Is she a fucking Klingon?

Annnnnd there's the implication I am in fact a trans man. She's certainly saying I'm not a trans woman and that's also misgendering because I've said repeatedly that my gender rests firmly on being Not A Cis Woman. But why simply "implicate" I'm a man?

Hilarious. Doubly so since I just recently found out that person runs my favorite Y2K blog, which I'm sure will get used as 'proof' at some point.

Do I seriously need to post fucking gock lol? Are we literally down to genital inspections at this point?

My blog has a pre-discourse history where I mostly reblogged images and argued about a Dungeons & Dragons show!* I'm literally a published author! What about all the very specific kinks? Being a scholar of Imperial Japan? The very specific opinions I have on very specific media? My specific fandoms?

What an elaborate character I've constructed to come up with a multiple system where the system members even have surnames and are the distinct sources of specific parts of my personality and interests, including one who's Christian and one who's attempting to learn Hinduism but has only ever briefly mentioned it about twice.

I think TRFs have never moved past the point in development where people don't exist when you stop looking at them.

*much of which was about how much I hated the transmasc player's cis lesbian PC; make of that what you will

I don't block people very often, but I do in fact do that! Thicced-Witch has openly talked about me repeatedly having her blocked and unblocking her when it did no good. I also have prettykittenpaw and fite-club blocked because they got into the annoying habit of coming on to every one of my posts, and my tolerance for prettyeelwithagun ran out when she stuck by Thicced-Witch's misgendering of people for the purposes of "satire."

God, this is all so, so stupid. Transfeminism, everyone.

[covenofagatha]

I'm back with another desperate!agatha brainworm!

(includes cumming in 0.001 seconds, panty sniffing, come eating kinda, breeding?)

consider this: agatha who tries her damn best to let you cockwarm her as punishment. it doesn't work. why?

1. the first time she attempts to, it's to punish you for riling her up the whole day while she's trying to do work in her study. she's already rock-solid when she lifts your skirt, and when she pulls your panties down, you reach over and give her one (1) stroke just to feel her up. to her complete and utter humiliation, that's literally all it takes. you still clean her up, yes, but she's got her face buried in her hands the whole time, so embarrassed she can't even look you in the eye.

2. the second time, she manages to get a little further. you'd been whining nonstop, and in the ultimate brat move, pronounced her a *pervert* for dirty talking into your ear. she's determined to prove herself, then. it's all your fault, really; that you were so damn wet she needed to use your own panties to wipe around your cunt so you don't stain her suit pants. so, when your panties glisten with *you*, it's practically instinctual for her to bring them up to sniff, like the "pervert" she is. unfortunately, she's forgotten about her already-leaking-precum cock that she has clasped in her hand (to prevent a repeat of the first time), which, to no surprise, reacts to the scent of you rather enthusiastically. maybe its the mix of the look of your expression and your glistening cunt, or the warmth of her heated palm on her throbbing dick, or simply the evidence that you're as worked up as she is, but either way it ends the same way it always does; before she can attempt to control herself, she's already shooting load after load all over your ass. the same way she cleaned up yours, she drags your panties all over, collecting the cum before bringing it up to your mouth for *you* to lick clean.

3. the third time, she makes it pretty far. she's in full dom-mode with you, courtesy of your constant brattiness the whole day, so when you the word 'cockwarm' falls off your tongue off-handedly, she doesn't bother to think of the previous failed attempts. when she does manage to get into you without losing it (impressive, truly), she realises how much of a punishment this is for *her*. Having to keep you still, to still your desperate bucks into her, not wanting to give into her primal need to breed you, to fill you up with her cum. she's struggling almost more than you, and suddenly the coin flips. you realise abruptly that it's *your* turn to play with her, and her continuous whimpers and grunts of restraint drive you mad. her pleas for you to settle down, to stop grinding on her and making it harder for both of you, grow increasingly weaker, culminating into a desperate snap of her hips against you when you "accidentally" brush a hand over her hardened tits. you coo at her that it's *okay*, that your hot, wet, cunt was *made for her*, and that you just NEED to be filled up by her. it takes a harsh bite to her breast and a particularly enthusiastic rock of your hips, before she groans, low and gutteral, and you feel it throb inside you before she explodes.

can you tell I've been thinking about your fics a lot? they're driving me feral 😅. hope to infect you with the same brainworm that technically came from you, so...

-lots of love, worm anon (ha)

Ohhhh my god

This had me on the floor thank you for practically writing this for me and I cannot wait to get to it (I love your filthy brain omg)

[aninipanin1]

GALA

Notes: Just wanted a little drama with a mix of reader being a silent diva yuhhh, A Noel Noa centric piece hehehe hope yall enjoy! PS: YES, this fic is a bit inspired by Cinderella RAHHH

"Hmm, that dress looks better than the first one. It matches your personality well." Anri said, her eyes looking at your phone screen where the photo of your dress was displayed. You nodded your head, taking into consideration Anri's opinion. You did like that specific dress personally, too, so you were happy that it fit you, at least in Anri's eyes.

"Yeah, I'll just buy this one then. It's actually on sale so I knew I had to get one of these for the Gala. Eepecially since my parents would definitely disown me if I do not wear anything proper, at least by their standards." Sighing, you pressed the order button on the app, shoulders sagging a bit. Your family was invited in a gala held by the company your parents worked in. Due to their high position, your whole family was invited, including your fraternal twin sister.

It's been a while since you met up with your whole family due to the Blue Lock project, but also because you did not have the best relationship with them, especially your parents.

"You know you can always not go, right? Especially since (S/n) is there. Geez, I still wonder why you put up with her. Nobody liked her in our class instead of the boys who just wanted to have a chance with her."

Anri sighed, remembering her college days where she shared a class with your sister. And needless to say, her arrogance in the subject which she almost failed at always pissed her off. It was really surprising as to how someone so...down to earth as you was related to someone like that girl.

You gave her a sheepish smile.

"Sorry about that. She's just like that because of our parents, I swear. And well, she's still my sister. I can't just abandon her like that, Anri."

The woman sighed and shrugging her shoulders.

"It's your choice, Y/n. But, personally, I would definitely cut her off. She's too toxic, especially for you, since we both know how she treats you even if you're older than her."

The conversation ended there as you both were thrust into silence, eating your food away on the cafeteria for both your breaktime when your phone vibrated. It was a text from your mother.

Mother:

Oh, and bring a date with you. Surely, as my eldest, you have at least a love interest and even better, a boyfriend by now. Make sure he's dressed appropriately, too.

"WHAT?!" You burst out, causing Anri to also spill the water in her mouth in shock of your outburst.

"Geez girl! Warn me next tim-...WHAT?!" She screeched too, as she read the text that you forced on her face.

"The gala is happening next week! How am I going to find a date so soon!? I...I don't even know any guys who can be a date." Sulking, you placed your head hopelessly on the table. Your mother thought wrong about you, just because your sister can pull guys does not mean you had the same charm and ability as well!

"Tell me, Anri-san! How will I charm a guy into at least agreeing to be my date for the night! Hmm, I wanna ask (S/n) so bad how she does it..."

Anri can only sweardrop at your words. Really? After all that you went through, you still think you are not charming enough to make a guy pay attention to you when you literally has world class players on their knees, just waiting for you to pay attention to them?

But then again, the lack of emotional connection you had with your parents as well as the absence of love from them may have messed up your perception of all types of love, even romantic love. And now, that made Anri a little sympathetic about your situation.

"Don't worry! I'm sure you'll find a guy who'd be okay with it soon enough-"

She comforted you until her eyes stopped on a familiar man who also entered the cafeteria, the white hair, and the tall build familliar to everyone in the facility, and probably the world, Noel Noa.

It was, after all, a few minutes after 1 p.m., and many of the staff and coaches took their lunches. Noa was one of the latest to do so since he was trying to come up with a better team to start in the next match of the NEL.

Anri knew that this maybe the only way to get you to solve your problem while also helping the guys to finally get over themselves and confess to you.

'I'm so sorry, Ego-san! But you all are legit slowpokes and I can't see her being stressed about this!'

"Why not ask one of the coaches to be your date?" Anri exclaimed, a little louder to make sure that the coach who was busy picking his food on the machine heard. You did not seem to notice Noa, as you tilted your head at her.

"Eh, I don't wanna disturb them, Anri-san! They're already busy enough around here. And the gal of me to show up with someone so famous like them! Besides, the gala is until 12 midnight, and they have training for the next day-"

"What about us coaches, Ms. Y/n?"

You let out a shocked 'eh,' before turning your head to see the Noel Noa, sitting on the table beside yours and Anri's. He was wearing his usual calm and collected face, but it was evident in his eyes that he was curious as to why you were quite distressed.

"Oh, its nothing, Noa-san...!"

"She needs a date on this gala, and she can't find one. She wanted to know if you guys would be fine with going with her." Anri said, trying her best to hide the mischievous grin on her face, and she succeeded to a degree, but the look on her eyes shout that she was plotting something.

"Eh? Anri-san! You don't have to answer that, Noa-sa-"

"I'm fine with it." He said with a straight face, making the nervous and embarrassed look on your face vanish replaced by one of disbelief and shock.

"Huh?"

"I'm fine with it. Just tell me when and what I should wear." He said, trying his best to remain passive, to keep his composure. Deep inside though, he felt happy. Finally! It was his turn to be with you.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much, Noa-san! I promise I will pay you back for this!!" You exclaimed excitedly, hugging the tall man out of pure glee and emotion, which made him become even more frozen in his place.

Luckily for him, you could not see the redness that starts to form around his neck, a moment of vulnerability and change from his usual no-nonsense personality. But, what he did not remember was Anri was still there, with her having a mischievous smirk as she watched the number 1 striker in the world blow a fuse just because of a hug.

'Oh, the power you have over these football nerds, Y/n...'

"Eh, where are you going, Noa-san?"

Some of the Bastard Munchen players were a little confused to see their master exit his office, but instead of doning his usual track suit that the facility provided, is garbed in a black and gold suit that complimented his features and build.

It was not the first time the striker wore formal attire (being invited into many famous events over the years, and the pictures of him attending are all over the internet) however, it was still a little weird to see him wear a formal attire in a sport setting.

The man's usual cold eyes turned to them, but there was a hidden twinkle in them. An emotion the players cannot decipher, and thankfully, they did not have to do that themselves as he answered their question.

"Y/n's parents have a gala in their workplace where her attendance is a must. And well, she needed a partner to go with her which is where I come in."

He adjusted the sleeve of the suit, not seeing the wide and open mouths of the players. Especially Isagi and Kurona, Yukimiya and Hiori meanwhile, just smirked at the unfolding scenes.

They are definitely telling the other stratums about this in hopes it reaches the other masters. For what? For the drama, of course.

"You? She could have chosen better..." Kaiser rolled his eyes. In his mind, the master was too serious and intimidating to be standing to someone like you, who in his eyes was like a twinkling star, gracung upon everyone with your warm light, yet not enough to blind or outshine them.

And he thinks all these idiotic masters do not deserve a woman like you. Yes, especially the man he wants to go against. After all, why would he wish upon someone who he thinks is not good enough for you? The person that he feels is the closest he got from a parental figure.

Even if the man is almost perfect, it was still a no. He has to be perfect in Michael Kaiser's eyes before he lifts his cold and domineering glare upon them.

But Noa was far from bothered, ignoring the boys' words, and was more focused on fixing his looks. He was not a man who cared about his looks, but he would be meeting your family along with the fact that he had to show the world that he was mlre than worthy being with you (my man forgot hes the number 1 striker in the world)

He looked down at his watch, squinting his eyes a bit to read the time.

8:48 pm

'Hmm, I wonder how she's doing now...'

"Stop moving for God's sake!"

"I'm trying...! But it hurts..." You said with animated tears as you squirmed in your seat while Anri helped you with styling your hair. You both were in Anri's office as she offered to help you style up for the night. Helping you with your more than tangled and messy hair due to the days of not caring for it properly, having to run around the facility to do endless chores, it was even a luxury to put it in a decent updo.

And well, Anri was less than gentle with how she's treating your scalp like it was a barbie doll that had no pain receptors.

"I'm almost done! And...there! What do you think?"

She spun you around the mirror to show you her masterpiece, and you were not going to lie, it was beautiful. Your hair shimmered due to the few products she put in your hair, but the main event was the braids that frame your head, almost like it was its own tiara with a few flower clips on it to make it even more sophisticated yet ethereal. (Decide your own hairstyle around this based off your hairtype:)

Your hair was for once a bit bouncy and not so tangled to the touch that it felt like you were arguing with your own strands, ready to rip it off from your head.

"Wow, from all the pulling you did, it came out really pretty!" You exclaimed excitedly, not believing that the girl in the mirror was you. Anri rolled her eyes at this.

"Told you. Never disturb a magician when she's working her magic. Now let's start with that makeup and change that tracksuit into your dress."

The makeup was really light, just enough to compliment your facial features and make it pop more (because you are lazy when removing makeup and pretty privilege does that to you, reader;), and well, it was not a surprise to see you already yawning at the boring procedure Anri was going through to fix your makeup.

"Geez, have you no like feminine bone to atleast have some sort of...reflex to atleast know the basics of makeup?" She asked jokingly, as she curled your eyelashes only for you to blink your eye uncontrollably.

"Um, I think I do. But its not like I don't wanna put makeup. Its just that, growing up, I was not allowed to." You said which made Anri confused.

"Really? But from what I can see from your sister's social media, she looks to be really good at it, even from her very old posts thatbwould pop up in her timeline."

"Yeah, well she is my family's treasure. She can do whatever she wanted or get what she wished for, I didn't really have any of that luxury growing up. I was the older sister, so of course I have to give up what I want to her if ever she wanted it. And that also included...my freedom to express myself, I guess."

Your voice grow even more quiet as you opened up about your past. It was thr first time ever that you did, atleast to Anri. But, knowing you, she is not surprised. You were always the people pleaser, always so ready to help others even if you cannot anymore. Even if you cannot carry the pressure anymore, you still would if somebody asked you.

Now, it made sense. You act this way because your parents conditioned you to be like that whilst spoiling your younger twin sister. The unfair treatment and lack of freedom you may have experienced molding you into what you are today.

A person who rarely cares about herself has trouble expressing your true self below that kind and caring nature, and does not believe that the people around her can truly love her for who she is.

And that hurted Anri. She loved you. You two have become the bestest of friends, almost sisters ever since this project started, and she hates how lowly you think of yourself, yet look at everyone else, even those who do not deserve it, highly.

You call everyone worthy of care and kindness, yet you were never kind to yourself. And now, she knows the root causes of this.

But, there was hope. There are people everywhere, even just in this facility alone that loves you dearly. The Blue Lockers, who view you like you are their older sister. Heck, even the foreign players like Kaiser and Lorenzo, and the rest started to view you as such too.

Then, of course, there are those you met who love you differently, viewing you in a different light. And Anri hoped that one day, the love of those people will change your mind about this thinking.

'Zwip!'

"There! All done...Oh my!" Anri cheered, her once dim expression brightening once she saw you in the beautiful silvery blue dress that sparkled under the light of the room. You had matching jewellery accompanying it too, but the dress really did make you look like a living princess as it hugged your figure, the skirt billowing to the ground elegantly as if it wanted to match your own elegant movements.

"Huh...it looks really good..."

"Why are you surprised?" Anri said, raising her eyebrow.

"Nothing...just...this is the first time I ever get to pick my own dress. My parents are always the one who buy our dresses for us, and well, I don't exactly get...a flattering one." You said meekly, Anri can only frown at that.

"But your sister's is?"

"I mean...I guess? But she's already pretty and charismatic...she can make an entire room focus only on her!" You happily complimented, just as Anri was about to add into your claim, your phone's alarm rang, telling you that it was already 9:00 pm.

"It's time..." you said nervously, as you put on the pair of clear heels before walking to the door, not forgetting to thank and say goodbye to Anri.

"Your taste in suits is so boring." Chris Prince commented towards Noa, who ignored him, causing the English coach to get pissed off.

"Why are you even wearing that?" Snuffy incquired curiously, rolling his eyes at Lavinho and Prince, who only questioned the man's style, failing to ask important questions. When Noa heard the question, however, he could not help but feel a little proud and smug, the ends of his mouth twitching slightly in a cold and unnoticeable smirk.

"Y/n is going to be participating in a gala tonight, but she needed a date. So, she asked me to be her date and partner for the night."

Crickets.

Well, until the information finally processed in their minds, and needless to say, the three other masters were less than happy.

"WHAT?! You, of all people?!" Lavinho exclaimed as he approached Noa, like he was ready to fight or debate him over the fact that did not deserve to be your date on that said gala.

"My poor Y/n, she doesn't deserve a man like you. I bet she'll be oh so bored in that gala." Prince said, not pretending to hide the fact that he was indeed jealous, as veins portruded in his forehead and neck about the fact that you went with his main rival instead of him.

Meanwhile, Snuffy remained quiet. However the fake smile, dead look in his eyes, and the portruding veins in his neck and clenched fist was enough of a story to tell. He was more than pissed off at what he is hearing.

With the green-face of jealousy leering at the three coaches, Noa knew he had a one up at that time. And needless to say, the faces the others pull made his ego boost up even more.

But, it reached its peak once you entered the cafeteria, all dolled up for the night in your dress. You greeted all of them so sweetly, not even noticing the effect you had on the four professional players. Noa felt proud that he got to be the one who would be with you for the night. That you chose him over the other three (he was just lucky that he was the one in the cafe at the right time, but we don't mention that).

"Umm Good Evening, sorry to interrupt..." You bashfully said noticing that the four masters were talking to each other, thinking that they were discussing something related to the Neo-Egoist League (they weren't).

"It's nothing. Let us get going, Ms. Y/N..." Noa said, dismissing the rest and taking your hand to guide you outside the cafeteria. He did not want you to get distracted by the others, wanting to look at your beauty by himself.

By the time the other three managed to find themselves catching their breaths, you were already waving goodbye as Noa tugged you to the exit of the facility to head to the gala.

"Wha- hey!"

"Tsk, that selfish robot."

Oh...

That's the only word that is repeated in your mind the moment you both arrive in the venue. Now, there were only a few people outside of the venue, and most of them were waiting to sign up to enter.

But, the amounts of stares and whispers that were already felt and heard the moment THE Noel Noa stepped out of the taxi and sweetly helped you out of the car was definitely palpable.

How can you forget that you literally invited the number 1 striker in the world to be your date in a company gala?

You turned so embarrassed and flushed at the attention, not used to it, unlike Noa, who remained as passive and emotionless like he always was, used to the attention someone of his popularity always experienced.

"I'm so sorry for all this trouble, Noa-sa-"

"Why are you apologising, Ms. Y/n?"

You were taken aback at the question, gulping before stating your reasons.

"The attention must be really uncomfortable...and I know you already have a lot on your plate due to your fame and all, and for me to add into it by inviting you here must be making it worse." But he just shrugged, offering his hand for you to take and for him to lead you.

"It's nothing. I agreed to it knowing what the consequences are, so you have nothing to apologize since I made the choice to say yes. Now, shall we get going?"

Blinking at the reason, you gave him a genuine smile before accepting his outstretched hand and headed for you to sign up.

Just as expected, you had the privilege of having a VIP entrance slot along with your plus one, due to your mother and father being one of the top executives of the company. But, as you signed up, a crowd formed around Noa, who looked quite annoyed at the attention he received before he sighed.

Leaning to whisper in your ear, he did not care for the gasps and whispers of a supposed relationship you two may have.

"Go in first without me, I'll deal with the crowd, and I don't want to inconvenience yourself any further. I'll find you inside."

At first, you tried to argue, wanting to help but looking at how he handled himself in front of a crowd compared to how you did, you knew that staying would just make it worse, so you just nodded with an understanding smile and sent him with a cheerful thumbs up before entering the place alone for now.

The venue was beautiful. The ballroom was quite larger than all the previous venues these events were held in. The chandeliers looked magical, mixing in with the gold and cream the whole place was decorated in. Classical music played and echoed through the whole place as well as small chatters from the people already inside. Speaking of the people, there were definitely hundreds of them already inside, some looked to be journalists too, as the camera flashes can be seen here and there.

You felt like a child in the middle of the huge crowd, a bit overwhelmed but at the same time excited. Mainly because of the food that you can already smell being prepared by the chefs and other staff in the venue. You were also quite happy that what you initially thought of being overdressed was proven wrong due to the many bedazzled dresses and suits that grazed the floor, and even better than your measly jewelry, were real minerals like diamonds, emeralds the size of a thumb was around the necks of the women or dangled from their ears.

It was a gala of opulence, a place where the rich people tried to outdo themselves, to compete with their fellow rich friends to become the star of the show.

"Well, well. If it isn't my lovely older sister grazing us with her...presence."

You turned around, already feeling dread at the notion of seeing her again. There she was, her hair in an elegant bun, wearing a bedazzled pink dress that hugged her beautiful features well, elegant black heels, opulent ruby necklace and diamond earrings only befitting someone of her stature.

Your younger twin sister (S/n) was the definition of elegance and power. The dream of every parent, just like yours. The moment she graduated in business school, she immediately entered the same company your parents worked in and rose the ranks quickly, now standing as a president of the company's media branch.

Yes, you had to admit, you were always jealous of her growing up. Being the smarter and prettier twin, since you both were fraternal twins, your features and every characteristic were different. She was always better than you, the bright sunlight to your measly starly twinkle.

But, nevertheless, you tried to be the best big sister that you can. Supporting her even if you felt jealous, and for a while, you two were close when you were kids. But as she grew up, she realized she was the favourite and something changed in her, turning around to try and destroy your life always. Probably because you were older, and she thought that you would inherit everything your parents had if she didn't try to be better and bring you down.

So she simultaneously did that. Better herself and brought you to your lowest. And the sisterly bond vanished.

You loved her, you did. But there was no way you would be fixing a relationship you did not break. You were kind, not a saint.

"Hi (S/n), how are you? It's been so long, huh?"

"I guess it has been. Everything has been better for me. Work has been hard but rewarding, though I doubt I can say the same with your...babysitter duties?" She smirked at first, then sneered at the thought of your job.

She, along with your parents never failed to bring down your role as a manager for a football facility the moment they heard of it. Sure, it got better when Blue Lock TV picked up ratings and was popular all over the world, but you were still viewed lowly. After all, you were not a player or its director or head, just a lowly manager/babysitter of the players, why is that important in their minds? In fact, it brought embarrassment to the family.

You always tried not to let it affect you, but it does hurt to be brought down a peg just because you did what you loved. But, you being you, you just smiled, not wanting an argument to form.

However, as if your day could not have gotten worse, your parents arrived along with a man you recognized for two reasons: he is a popular actor and model in Japan, and he was also dating your sister. You don't know much, but last time you heard from them, he already proposed to her which you were more than happy for her.

Just because you didn't like your family, does not mean you'll be a bitter Betty. No, you would not stoop low like that. Being raised in a toxic environment made you polish and garb a thick skin, after all.

Your mother immediately scrunched her nose at your appearance while your father just looked at you boredly and coldly as he always does.

"Mother, Father-"

"I told you to wear something that would not embarass our family. And what do you do? Wear this childish costume? Preposterous." Your mother sneered, squinting at the cheap fabric. After all, they did not give you any budget to buy a good one and so, you bought one out of your own money.

"This is why you aren't to be trusted with yourself, Y/n. This dress is unfit of someone in the L/n lineage." Your father said with a straight face, shaking his head. Meanwhile, your sister just snickered in the arms of her quiet fiance who did not want to get involved in the family mess.

You just nodded at their supposed advice, too tired of the day to even argue and embarass yourself infront of so many people.

'Tune them out, Y/n...like you always do, remember?'

"And to add to the mess you are, you do not have a partner with you? I specifically told you to bring one. We cannot afford to have our eldest daughter of all people to be gossiped about her future of being barren and alone." Your father continued and your mother seemed to realize the lack of partner beside you, and she became even angrier.

"Wait, I have one tonight, father. He just excused himself-"

"How many years have you used that excuse on us, young lady? Do not lie to us about your imaginary date for the night. You disappoint us with your fashion, we let it slide. But, not showing up with a partner? This is outrageous!"

"Mother, relax. I am sure there is a valid explanation for this. After all, Y/n over here is busy with her career of babysitting to even care about herself. Perhaps that lack of self-care is the reason why men rarely approach her." Your sister comforted your mother who was red in the face. Hearing this, your mother's anger turned into cold rage.

"I suppose. You have disappointed me and your father as usual, Y/n. And you question why me and your father did not pay for your college education in that foolish sports medicinal course? Because of this. You are irresponsible, and you lack anything noteworthy to you. Adding to that, you cannot even do the bare minimum of find a somewhat successful man and give us grandkids that can hopefully not get your genes and provide our family something to be prided by." Your mother sighed, her words breaking your heart. You heard of these words before, but it hurt nonetheless. But as if, the wound was not painful enough, your father decided to rub more salt unto the wounds.

"You are the eldest, Y/n. I already lowered my expectations on you the moment you talked soblate compared to your sister as an infant. Yet, you still wreck my already lowered standards. I gave the expectations of the eldest to your younger sister, who carried them gracefully and smartly, and that load made her better. I thought lowering the load on you would atleast make you a bearable daughter. Starting from now, if you do not have atleast a man to introduce to us of good name, then I would have no choice but to marry you off to the first man that offers to me."

Your eyes widened so big at this, like your worse nightmare was happening. Knowing your parents, they were serious about this. And you didnt want to be shackled in a loveless marriage just to produce kids that you cannot love fully because they were not out of real love. And besides, you were not ready for marriage yet.

"But father-"

"That's final."

"Finally, father. I am so tired of carrying everything in this family. Thank you for putting this...leech to use." Your sister sneered, liking the shock and blurry look in your eyes from unfallen tears. They were like snipers, hitting you in where they knew you were weak quietly. Even literally, as the rest of the gala participants were happily mingling, due to the fact you and your family were in a corner as they told you what they thought of you as privately as one can get in a ballroom.

But as if some sort of deity or god saw your struggle, you were saved by a hand touching yours as well as the silence of the whole ballroom. But the most telling and almost hilarious display of reaction was that of your family.

Your mother's eyes were wide as well as her mouth. Your father tried to maintain his composed expression, but you can see the shock in them, too. But, the most entertaining expression was that of your sister who had the perfect mix of angerr and shock in her face.

But, you wondered, why was everyone wondered. Well, that was until you looked up to find who held your hand, and it was Noel Noa.

The whole episode with your family made you forget the fact that your date for the night was a famed striker all over the world. Everyone knew his name and face, even if they did not know football well.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, but I am afraid she looked to be uncomfortable, so as her date, it is my responsibility to take her away from anything that may inconvenience or irritate her." He said in his usual cold and almost apathetical tone, if it was not for the fact that he held your hand and back quite intimately, a fact you did not notice because you were too tired from the mental beating from your family.

"O-of course...Mr. Noa, there is...no...problem with that." Your mother said, putting up her friendly and professional smile she uses when talking to those she knew was superior to her.

Your father stayed silent, but his usual cold, hard gaze softened. Of course, your parents were social climbers, so seeing a man of Noa's status and fame definitely humbled them.

Before anything, Noa guided you into the garden of the place and sat you down on the edge of the fountain.

"Sorry about the drama...Noa-san."

"Again, you don't have to apologise. You have to stop apologising for things out of your control and are not your fault." He said sighing, watching the beautiful colors of the water's reflection. You followed his gaze, as the water showed your face.

The face thay you hated all your life. Recognizing how it was not as pretty as your sister's face. That your sister seemed to have inherited the good traits of your parents while you get their least attractive ones (atleast in your parents' opinions and words), how you wished your eyes were the same shape as your sister's, or the way your nose looked, or even the size of your face. Everything.

You thought you moved on from the self-incarceration. But, the words they said to you made you revive the heartbreak you felt growing up as an insecured teen, a feeling that your parents and sister fueled even more, making you struggle with even the thought that you were deserving of attention and love growing up.

Then a drop fell unto the water's surface, then two, then three, until you were softly sobbing and hiccuping under the moonlit sky and the drowning sounds of the fountain.

Until you felt a soft yet calloused hand wipe a stray tear from your face. Realising that you were crying in front of Noa, you tried to turn your face away and hide it.

But, his reflex and pull were stronger and made you stay facing him. Pulling out a handkerchief, he softly wiped away all the stray tears that fell on your face as he finally spoke.

"You're an angel for the amount of patience you have with your family. I arrived there a few seconds before I stepped in, and from what I heard, I can just imagine what they have been telling you before I arrived. Or even way before that."

"Yeah...I'm used to it. But, that doesn't mean it hurted less, you know? It felt like...all the years of emotional and mental solitude and abuse came back. It played like a movie..."

He stayed quiet for a few seconds, just nodding his head at that. Truthfully, he was given a heads up about your family by Anri, and he was so thankful that she did. He thought it could not be that bad until he heard the hurtful words they told you as well as the preposition of them marrying you off to some guy that asked them first.

Like you were worth nothing.

Which just does not make sense to him. You deserved a man who would be willing to go through hell and back just for your hand in marriage, not some random man who just had to ask and would already get to be the one to see you in a white dress and veil.

But, that night, was definitely the night he knew that his feelings for you was more than attraction now. The first moment he saw your beauty and intelligence in the field, he knew he was interested in you.

But now that he got a deeper look into who you really were as a person, that you were kind, patient, and coolheaded enough to not burst in flames in front of your parents made him love and admire you for your strength even more.

He was a man who thought the saying "Kindness is strength," was foolish. Absolutely unethical. Sure, revenge is not always the best course of action, but getting back at the person can sometimes scare them off from doing the bad things they do again and again, so it is logical to a tee.

But, you gave him a new perspective. That maybe being the bigger person at times of extreme mistreatment leads to the more logical outcome. After all, it was not really you who embarassed themselves in front of the world's best striker that night, right?

By the time you managed to fix yourself and go back to the gala, the small program started. It was not that long, but as you sat beside him in the table where your family was assigned in, you both definitely noticed the new personality your parents immediately had.

Your mother approached him with a smile, sometimes lightly scolding you to fix your posture or your smile, but she was less brutal and she even used the loving mother tone she uses to your sister only.

Your father, on the other hand, was more discreet with his agenda. Asking him questions about himself and his relationship with you.

The two of them saw this as the first time you were being a good daughter. To be able to attract a man of his fame and status was a win in their eyes. They loved the attention that Noa brought to their table, the eyes of everyone, even the ones from the CEO's family was on Noa's.

You tried your best to tell your parents you both were not together, that he was just kind enough to be with you for the night. But, they did not relent. They want you to end up with him not because they want you to be happy, but because they just want the attention and power that having their daughter be the one Noa was dating.

But other than you both, your sister also noticed the attention on you and him and that pissed her off. Not used to not having the attention on her, she was muttering curses under her breath. Wondering how her ugly and incompetent elder sister attracted the number 1 striker in the world. Truthfully, she did not even love her fiance, wanting only his wealth and fame. So she thought that all the people's attention would only be at her's, but then her sister had to ruin it. Bringing a man who is known not just in the country, but in the whole world.

'She doesn't deserve him!' That was all that ran in her brain, to the point she even started to ignore her own fiance, in hopes that maybe, if she tried to act impressive enough, she would get the striker's attention away from you to paying attention to her instead.

'She did say they were just friends, and she doesn't look like she likes him like that. So, it'll be easy.'

Well, it was more of a struggle than she thought when the whole night Noa stuck to your side. With your sister's eyes being more susceptive to romance than yours, she can see the look in the striker's eyes when he looks at you or would do anything for you like getting your food for you, or even kneeling on the ground just to fix the ribbon that tied around your heels.

It was a one-sided love, where you were oblivious. A displacement that was disadvantageous to what she wanted to do.

As the night passed, you both were lucky enough not to be bothered too much, even if almost everyone at the party had some hidden agenda in getting close with him for business of sorts, it was definitely a fun time compared to the other times you attended their company's gala.

When you arrived back in the facility, before Noa can walk you to your room, Anri was already there and dragged you to her own room and helped you get out of your hair, make up and dress while urging you to tell her the juicy details of the night.

"It was a little embarrassing how much my parents wanted me to end up with him, probably just to widen their power of some sorts. And I felt so bad for Noa-san having to deal with (S/n) trying to flirt with him. Hmm, what do you think I should gift him for all his help tonight, Anri-san?"

Anri gave you some ideas while deep down, she laughed evilly at the reactions of your family, especially that of your sister. Of course, that was the reason she set you and Noa up for this as well, for you to unintentionally flex that your job was not for the faint, and that you were not the ugly sheep of the family.

'If only her sister knows it isn't just the number 1 striker after her at all. Ooh the drama that would be bring!'

No additional times for this one I'm afraid because this fic became TOO LONG THAN I EXPECTED LMAO. I don't even like Noel Noa that much yet this happened...I cooked too much I'm afraid chat. But anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this and yes I AM FEELING A LOT BETTER. This is also a bit of a character explanation for why I made Adult!Manager the way she is (like how she acts and all) so yeahhh, to all who relates to this YOU ARE ENOUGH AND LOVEABLE Dont let anyone tell you otherwise, mwah!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[hottakehoulihan]

Toughie, and I'm supposed to log off now, and my head is a mess because news. Also I forget things

Maybe later when I'm in a better headspace I'll answer again with a modified list, but here's a baker's handful of ones I thought of first:

It Starts With One, by Discreet -> Skitter decides that billionaires should not exist. There aren't many capes in her world, but Alexandria will stop her crimespree. Artfic and politicsfic.

Tabloid, by BabylonSheep -> A smalltime cape with smalltime powers that help him be a photographer wants to keep himself safe in this scary world. He takes pictures of some bigname Wards (and we get to see them) and story happens. Artfic.

Her Strength Alone, by HopefulPenguin -> Many generations after the end of Worm (Ward didn't happen) the major characters who spent time in Brockton Bay are remembered and worshiped as gods, and the shards and powers are somehow tapped by those who recall them. I'd be 1000% into reading this story already, but it gets better. One of the main characters from BB is thrust into that deep future era. Not who you'd think. It's interesting and fun. I can't wait to reread it. HopefulPenguin also wrote Deputy, which I liked. I'm a fan of anyone who gives Piggot her due.

Cenotaph by notes -> (A trilogy, actually) When Taylor loses her father early in the story, the butterfly effect is more like a swarm of butterfly knives. I particularly like how commando she lives. She dines on honey granola sometimes and none of the ingredients were ever in a store. I haven't read this in a long long time but I trust I'll love it again when I reread.

Setanta by Ritic -> A nice long fic set just after Worm and with original characters. GM broke many people, and our protag was a child who was broken until he fixated on becoming a superhero as a way to hold his identity together. He doesn't have powers, but he kinda worked so hard at his goal that maybe he doesn't need them? But you'd never get him to accept that. And Teacher's still out there. I recently did one of my halfassed reviews of this under my #wormfic tag. Companion Chronicles by Tempestuous -> (Bonus, to ensure I give good value). This is a "jumpchain" and the first I'd ever encountered. A gal (not actress) from a children's TV show (you haven't seen it but it's insanely popular with a lot of people) gets sucked into a multiple-fanverse crew of people who travel from 'verse to 'verse. ...and their next 'verse is Worm. They read up on it and prepare their special abilities accordingly. Lots of curbstomp, but in the end? Well, the ending is literally 80% of why I like the story. I yammered about it before so I won't risk spoiling it again. The story continues after the Worm portion but I stopped there.

There are some others I could consider, but I'm letting HP die, and one-shot mini-fics or short crackfics (LORD DOOM and Binge Watch and Taylor Has a Strange Hobby and others) aren't in the spirit I think and should probably be their own competition. ...and although I love several unfinished shipfics (I hope for Alec Goes to Winslow to update/conclude (or at least get an outline of the planned future), and some PillBug fics too) those aren't...

I probably forgot some, and I could nitpick the order I put these in all day, but I need to get work done.

Also I'm kind of a slut for completed lengthy wormfic and especially completed works and/or original characters. I can think of only a handful of stories I disliked and most of those were written with contempt for both the original work and for the craft of writing. The remainder? I'll probably try again some day. Maybe.

what are your guys top 5 fav wormfics of all time? with a bit of explanation if you don't mind.

doesn't need to be in any particular order, just curious what wormblrians have read and enjoyed and also maybe get some recs out of it

[hencheri]

hey queen.

I literally can't stop thinking abt best friend jungwoo who's literally the devil's advocate, forcing himself on to reader who's really religious and a virgin as she profusely begs him to stop but he just shoves his load into her while playing with the cross necklace around her neck taunting her with it as he decorates her with his cum 🤭

damn evil!jungwoo!? yes absolutely

18+ mdni.

warnings: manipulation/coercion, dubcon, religious guilt, implied loss of virginity.

.

"how wrong can it be if it gives you so much pleasure, hm?" jungwoo teases, a mischievous grin drawing on his face. "look at you, angel. you don't seem so guilty right now..."

his words only make you feel worse. pleasure is forbidden— a sin you hate committing. your body isn't of the same opinion, though, and jungwoo knows this, that's why he loves messing with your poor head.

"that- that doesn't make it right!" you quip back, tears of frustration falling from your eyes. you clench your fists on his naked chest, frowning and wrinkling your nose in disgust.

you're annoyed at jungwoo, but you're mainly mad at yourself for not being able to stop him yourself, for falling into temptation.

"what's wrong and right, anyway?" he complains, rolling his eyes. "you know this little cunt needed me to deflower it. been thinking about it for a while..."

he leans down to your breasts, his cock languidly thrusting back and forth into you, kissing your flesh and sucking on a nipple. you moan at the contact, arching your back as if to slip away from jungwoo, but it does nothing but spurs him on to suck more avidly.

he then kisses his way down to the valley between your tits, finding your cross pendant sitting there so innocently. he takes it between his teeth and pulls away from your chest.

your gaze lands on the golden cross, your eyes slowly widening. he smiles even more at your stunned face, rolling his hips over yours until he makes you forget all about your silly little god, pumping you full of his cum.

[blood-orange-juice]

Is there anyone out there discussing how Capitano has broken the pattern all the other Harbingers have?

I wrote about it in some old post. The Harbingers' backstories that we know are all about love in some form, the kind that inspires people to write poems and novels, you literally can't pour more love into those stories.

And each of them encountered a fundamentally unfair situation they couldn't solve because love is rarely enough (sometimes I think Her Majesty is just that: a god of love who realised that love is never enough).

Rosalyne couldn't bring back Rostam no matter what she did. Peruere can't stop hearthlings from being turned into child soldiers, whether she stays the head of the house or not. Childe has some weird thing going on with protecting his family by making himself unable to ever truly be a part of that family. Everyone who met Scaramouche loved him but it wasn't enough to fill the hole he had instead of a heart.

(in a sense Scaramouche has also broken the pattern but only after he stopped being a Harbinger)

And then we have Capitano, who loved his country and his fellow compatriots dearly and couldn't even grant them a nice afterlife (or any afterlife at all)... until he did.

"Bear witness to my resolve and hatred," sure, and I don't know if it can still be called love, but what matters is that he's the first Harbinger who has truly won.

He holds the first seat for a reason and I don't think that reason is combat prowess. Getting a gnosis is nothing compared to this.

[chlotapcs]

┃only fans!reader finally shows fan!chris her "dollface"

┃after begs and pleads from chris, doll finally caves into showing her face

⋆.˚ ★— made by @chlotapcs

a/n ; GUYS. y’all are literally the best. the amount of love i’ve gotten with this pair is unbelievable. UNBELIEVABLE..!! I LOVE YALLL

"please doll.. i'll do anything." chris whines over the phone, propping his phone up on his desk as he sits on his seat.

chris and doll had just finished their daily “phone sex” and were cleaning themselves up. chris had just put on a shirt that he could take off when he was done, which he just did. doll was cleaning herself up with an old towel she had, wiping herself up, twitching every so often, still sensitive.

"i can't and you know it." doll shakes her head, leaning it back against her seat. she throws her towel away towards her hamper, shifting in her seat, making sure her face is hidden.

"why though?? it's just us." chris tries to reason with her, pouting and looking into the camera with puppy eyes.

chris knew doll was conscious about her face, not wanting anyone to figure out who she was. but that didn’t stop him from begging.

“chris.” doll murmurs, looking at chris and his fake pout.

“please. i swear i won’t do anything. i won’t show anyone. it’s our little secret.” chris explains, trying to reason with doll.

doll let’s out a sigh, rubbing her face with her hand as she leans her head back. she didn’t want to. she promised herself when she started only fans that she wouldn’t. how was she actually considering all for some random guy she started talking to.

‘maybe it won’t be that bad. i mean what could possibly happen? chris is a sweetheart. i know he won’t reveal my identity..’ doll thinks to herself, but she’s taken out of her thoughts when she hears a loud alarm coming from the direction of chris.

“oh fuck.” chris mumbles, pushing himself up and grabbing his phone, quickly walking to his closet. doll furrows her brows, tilting her head as she watches chris as he holds the phone in front of him as he walks. “i have to film with my brothers..”

“awe man..” doll whispers, slightly relieved, knowing she wouldn’t have reveal her face in the next few hours to him.

“don’t worry dollface, i’ll text you the second i’m done.” chris smiles and nods into the camera, grabbing a random hoodie and some pajama pants.

“i don’t doubt it chris.” doll mutters as she stays in his position, watching chris with her face hidden above the camera. chris walks back into his room and props his phone back on his desk. he quickly gets dressed, fixing his hair with the little time he had.

“bye dollface.”

“bye chris.”

and with chris giving his camera a kiss, “kissing doll”, the call ends.

the rest of the day, all doll could think about was chris begging her to do a face reveal. she was nervous, not even considering sending him a picture but remembering his pleads, god it was hard not to give into him.

doll was currently sitting in front of her mirror, her orange and black lingerie on, her hair in two messy buns. chris’s favorite hair style on her. she had her phone in her hand, posing on her knees as she takes different photos, changing her led light colors, making sure her face is visible in the photos.

after multiple photos, different posses for every other one, doll let’s out a breath. she goes to her photos app as she tosses on an oversized t-shirt. she walks to her bed, flopping on it as she scrolls through the different photos she took.

if she would send chris any photos, it would be some with her face most hidden but still visible. she chewed on her lip as she begins to delete the photos she would never send to anyone. finally she found her best three.

her back facing the mirror, her ass the main attraction in the photo, her face in the bottom corner, looking up at the camera with a small smile that was half hidden. her on her knees, bending over slightly so one hand is on the ground. her other hand holding her phone, half of her phone covering her face. the last one, her bending over her bed, her ass on full display as her face hides in the corner again.

photo inspirations below ↴

with a big sigh, doll’s finger hovers over chris’s messages. was she really about to send these photos to a random guy she met on onlyfans??

yeah.. yeah she was.

she clicks on chris’s message and chooses her three photos. with one last deep breath, she clicks send.

chris was sitting in the passenger seat of his brother’s van, talking to the camera and filming his video. he wasn’t paying too much attention, his mind focused on his last conversation with doll. begging her to see her face. he knew she was caving in, she could see it in her body language. but at the same time, he didn’t want to force her to do something she wasn’t comfortable with.

suddenly, he hears his phone ding. his ears perk up as he lifts his hips up, grabbing his phone from his pocket. he opens his phone, seeing the notification from.. doll?

dollface <3 3 attachments

chris immediately forgets that he is filming a youtube video with his brothers. his thumb hovers her notification, swallowing hard as he shifts in his seat. he glances at his brothers quickly before clicking the notification, subconsciously moving his phone to the side so his brothers wouldn’t see.

chris almost chokes. she was even prettier and he imagined. such a dollface. he clears his throat as he hearts each image, his thumbs moving to type her a quick message.

chris <3 holy. actual. fuck. your fucking gorgeous.

“yo? you there chris?” matt interrupts his thoughts and chris’s eyes immediately snap up, closing his phone and pushing it down on his lap.

“uh yeah m’good..” chris mumbles, shaking his head as he looks down for a hot second. fuck. he could see his pants outlining a boner he was slowly getting. he quickly takes off his hoodie, laying it on his lap and letting out a breath.

“let’s just finish this video. im getting tired.” chris says to his brothers, needing to call doll immediately.

@mattspolitank @h3arts4harry @sophand4n4 @riversandwinds @sturnl0ve @marrykisskilled

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[regret-with-a-u]

Absolute Batman has blown me away. It's been too long since I ever felt like this. My heart is pumping with exciment and my skin is crawling with anticipation.

They finally managed to make an au of Bruce that still is him in his core.

I loved all absolute variants that came out and I'm shitting rainbows waiting for my boy Wally. But I want to focus on something that makes me lose my fucking mind.

There is a "Red Hood" gang in the story, and we all know the og red hood, we do... BUT! I have au ideas <3

what if all the other Robins are also their own character, and they will meet with the Batman later.

What if instead of his sons, they are going to be his lil anoying ass brothers? And sisters??

I don't have the all the connections yet but I have been making myself go crazy with ideas:

As we know Bruce is 2004 - 24 year old. (Cursed Cursed, Cursed)

Dick Grayson - Owlman - 21

After his parents death it was the court that got a hold of him. Bruce was still an angsty teenager when this happened.

later after meeting with the Bat and becoming his own person he becomes the first real Robin of Gotham.

Im gonna also add Wally situation onto him too. I love myself some good ol' birdflash lol.

Jason Todd - Leader of the Red Hood gang - 18 (people think he is 24, voice moderator)

After growing up in crime alley and dealing with abuse all his childhood he grows up to be the red hood, a gang focuses on lowering crime around the city. Trying to take care of each other.

I hadn't thought more about Jason yet, was focused too much on Dick. But I am thinking about Dick as owlman had an another kid with him growing up, and then later helped him escape.

Jason as ex talon could be cool ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Ps. I aalso would love to see Jason becoming a Bat, "Blood Bat" some people are calling him "Blood Bath" because of the carnage he leaves behind. Maybe I can do that while under the red hood tomfuckery is happening?? Man.

Tim Drake - Don't have a hero name yet lol - 15

Growing up Tim doesn't has any heroes to look up, so he decides to step up himself. No matter what universe he can't help himself to help people.

so using his tech abilities, his stalker ass and his detective skills that came with birth he starts selling out info to police, hood, unknowingly to the owl and knowingly to the bat.

the second Bruce comes in the picture Tim can't sit still. He needs to find out everything. Then he decides to help him. Like how Barbara goes around as Oracle. But I need Tim to be able to fight. Maybe later the killing joke would affect different people but for now I want younger Tim being literally crazy all over the place lol. For now I am side eyeing Selina LMAOOO

I aalso want TimKon but it's gonna be hard to pull it out yet so maybe they meet when Tim is 18-19?? Like with Birdflash, not childhood friends ¯\_( ツ )_/¯

Barbara Gordon - Batwoman - 26

She is a police officer in this universe, and she looks up at batman. I don't know how much younger she is to Bruce. Maybe she is older. But I need her to just find Bruce in one of his safe houses and just straight up tells him "Imma join you <3"

Duke, Cassandra and Stephanie, I still don't have real ideas to put out yet for them. I want Duke to be still signal, Cass to be black bat and Stephanie as the Batgirl.

I don't even know what I will do with Kathy-

......Okay so now she is a he younger cousin and she is going to be Batgirl for a brief moment where Stephanie "dies" maybe maybe maybe. Hmmm. She can later get a different name??? Man the whole family tree is fucked <3

And my funniest idea:

Damian "Wayne - al Ghul" - Robin - 10

Hear me out! I want Damian to be NOT blood related to Bruce at all. He is the one who gets adopted in this story. And after everyone meets his angry ass they try to stop him becoming a vigilante. They fail.

And Dick gives the name Robin to him as he becomes Nightwing. At this point the DC trinity would have already made Absolute Justice League, meaning there would be time for Dick and Clark bonding <3

I just find the idea of Damian being adopted in this universe sweet. It doesn't matter to his blood, it never did, once a son always a son.

These are my ideas for now, I also have funny-angsty crossover ideas. Like Absolutely Robin!Dick meeting other Nightwing variants or their families.

"Fuck you mean Bruce is my father- WHY WAS I IN SPEEDO?!?"

"YOU CHOSE THAT!"

"AND YOU LET ME?!?"

Ehehehhe.

Anygays.

Too much ideas, too much potential. I needed to get this out here before we meet the Absolute Batfam and all my ideas flutter into the black hole that is my pc uwu.

What should I name this au? HMMMM-

[rene-lads-nikki-trashcan]

I wanna briefly rant about Caleb cuz he's now my second bae and I am intrigued by his future storyline.

Also, this man is living rent-free in my head so this is my attempt of getting him outta my mind cuz good lord I have loads of works to do I can't afford to be distracted by his dreamy smile.

(A BIT OF SPOILERS ABOUT CALEB'S BOND STORYLINE& SYLUS' DRAGON MYTH UNDER THE CUT IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T CHECKED THEM OUT YET)

So, I have seen posts and theories that he gets the Bucky Barnes treatment and those red flags behaviour are because of the mind-control chip MC suspects being implanted into his brain...

But is it really tho?

Cuz in the bond storyline as they reminisced of their past as literal teens/children, Caleb admitted to purposely lock MC in the attic because he thought that the school bullies will target her if he confronted them with her tagging along.

That's a red flag behaviour and he was a child then.

Personally, I don't think he is mind-controlled or brainwashed at all. He has always shown the willingness to go to the far extreme route in his attempts to protect MC. The behaviour has been there long before the KABOOM, even back when they were children.

I have also seen people pointing out that he seems to change personalities when bright light flashes on his eyes, and although that might be a compelling clue to the mind-control chip plotline, it doesn't add up to his bond storyline (which if I understand correctly, happens before the KABOOM, therefore he isn't yet involved with the Fleet). The lightning flashing on his eyes and his personality immediately shifting happened in the bond story too so now I'm considering that instead of a trigger implanted into him by the Fleet, it is just a storytelling device to indicate that there's untamed storm beneath the sunshine persona he usually is.

I mean, look at these. He has always had those cold calculating look whenever he thinks he needs to keep MC safe.

Looking at what I had of him so far (I haven't got his memory pair yet so my info is a bit limited) I think Caleb has always been obsessively fixated on MC. He is a red flag right from the start and the trigger to his yandere-ness is his motivation to protect her.

MC is threatened, must protect at all cost. <- Caleb's yandereness in a nutshell

That's it. That's all he needs for his inner yandere to rear its ugly obsessive head.

When they were children, the threat was bullies, so he locked her up in the attic while he dealt with it.

In the recent main story, the threat was the Fleet's agenda to get Kevi and MC's own stubbornness to rescue the boy, so he drugged her (you can't convince me that the meds MC took that night isn't some drugs to keep her asleep) and therefore stopped her from getting in the Fleet's way.

When MC is curious about the "clean-up", he perceived her desire as a threat to her own safety, hence why he hid her guns and locked her in her room.

The pattern I'm seeing right now is that the more prominent the danger MC is exposed to/MC exposed herself to; the more unhinged and extreme Caleb's actions to keep her out of the danger will be.

It's obviously toxic and seriously unhealthy kind of love, but it also showcases those nuances of his motivation and love, which I think fleshes out his character. I personally hope that the writers wouldn't chicken out on the foundation they have laid for his storyline. He might not be the ML for everyone, but I really hope they don't give him the Bucky Barnes treatment in the future. It would feel like having him brainwashed @ mind-controlled by the Fleet kinda discredit his motivation as a character as we then would have no choice but to put him as the helpless victim under the control of a faceless organisation.

I personally don't want that because I think having him perfectly aware and consciously making the choices he thinks (no matter how misguided and arrogant this mindset is) will keep MC safe, regardless of how unhingedly toxic those choices are, would bring out a more interesting and nuanced storyline. Since he is obviously gonna be the dark romance route, I don't want his route to be that of a black and white romance where we see him as the good guy of the whole conflict halfway of his story. I want it grey. Make me weighs his perspective and choices against my personal moral values. Make me fear for MC's well-being/safety while she is around him, but at the same time make me fully understand and support MC when she simply couldn't find it in herself to abandon him for good. Make me understand his motivation behind his concerning actions yet not find a single reason to excuse them. I want to be made to debate against myself whether he should have the chance with my babygirl MC or not.

I have had my fill of dark ML who ends up as the greenest of green flags from Sylus. All those edits I saw making Sylus to be this dark romance route but then the dragon myth came out and changed my perspective of his route 180 degree. With the dragon myth storyline, all of Sylus' concerning red flags actions has been put into a much brighter and bittersweet light. He forced the resonance at the start because Sorceress MC owned part of his soul and honestly, it feels justified for him to attempt that connection. After all, she cursed him to never rest in peace until they became one once again. Man probably has all the rights to be offended when MC couldn't connect to him despite cursing his whole existence. The whole myth also provided the much needed context on why Sylus always put himself as literal flesh shield for MC, because he has been doing that even during their first life together. I mean, he willingly died by her hand/sword in the myth because he couldn't bear submitting to the dragon curse of being made to kill his own beloved. Ain't no way I can view his route as dark romance route anymore when the tragic love shared between the dragon and the sorceress is so heartbreakingly pure.

I wish Caleb's route will remain true to its dark romance roots. Keep the red flags bright and loud that we as the players couldn't excuse him. Make me both fear and love him. Put MC in the crossroads, torn between accepting his poisonous devotion (because he does that for her sake, doesn't he?) and attempting (and failing) to fix him. They probably need lots of couple's therapy if both of them survived until the end but hey in this day and age, who didn't?

TLDR; As of right now, Caleb's storyline has the potentials to be so grey and deliciously dark that I really hope they don't fuck it up simply because he isn't everyone's bite of apple. His route doesn't have to appeal to everyone but I desperately NEED it to stick to a very grey and dark romance.

Aight, rant's over. Caleb, gtfo my head I got works to do my man 😂

[mqriuss]

05 | Now playing: Over And Out / Look Here

from 'bad girls that haven't been caught' series

note: highkey projecting myself onto rindou in this chapter and the next LMFAO like this is literally how i am with a crush

playlist | series masterlist

this sucks. everything about this sucks.

rindou had no idea he'd feel sick just from looking at you, but you weren't exactly the reason. it's fumio. he shoots lasers into his figure every time he sees the both of you in the hallways, bickering like you always do—except this time he knows what the two of you really are to each other. don't even get him started on the way you'd write notes on a paper, crumple it and throw it in his direction playfully, watching as he smirked before doing the same.

the icing on the cake was that everyone in the classroom actually ships you two. they have for a while now, but to that, you always answered, "ugh, i'd never date fumio."

"in her dreams," fumio would say.

"i never dream of you," you'd shoot back.

and rindou knows that you're aware of the pissed look on his face, but you sure are good at ignoring him now that your boyfriend was giving you attention. when did you even start dating? do you even like him all that much?

rindou hates that he can't compare himself to fumio. ultimately, fumio is the guy you talked to more. outside of academic rivals, you were basically friends. but you and rindou? what even were you to each other besides classmates? he's always had a crush on you and thinks you're cool, but you two never really spoke before that homework incident.

he just doesn't understand what's going on. one day, you stop meeting up with him after school, then he finds you with your academic rival. you then proceed to tell him that you're dating said academic rival, and all of a sudden rindou's invisible to you.

why was your relationship with fumio a secret, anyway? it's not like you'd get any disapproving looks. your parents would probably love for you to have the perfect boyfriend—tall, handsome, educated, straight As, athletic, perfect attendance, won countless medals and trophies, has a good reputation among teachers, dark hair and not a single tattoo on his body.

rindou lets out a sigh. as much as he hated to admit it, he's got nothing on fumio.

the lyrics to the love song playing in his earphones only add to his misery, and he has to resist the urge to delete the playlist he made dedicated to you. instead, he makes a new playlist with different songs. he's going to move on for sure.

-

here is ran's guide to moving on from a girl who doesn't like you back!

1. stop making playlists of her. even if it's full of sad and angry songs, they're still playlists about her.

2. stop showing up just to see her, you already skip class often anyway.

3. stop wearing flashy jackets to school to get her attention, she doesn't give a fuck and you look stupid.

4. try cleaning your damn room for once to distract yourself from thinking of her.

rindou had failed to follow the guide. days passed and he has made five playlists about you, his attendance is perfect just to see you (which scares even the teachers), he is barely even wearing his uniform—replacing his blazer for designer jackets, and his room is actually clean, but he's still thinking about you.

everyday is dreadful, seeing you is dreadful, and as always, you ignore him. it hurts, but it was kind of addicting in a way. despite not trying hard enough to move on from you, he thinks he surely will with each passing day.

and he really does think he can forget about you, until hamada sensei comes in during your break to return everyone's homework from last time. not everyone was in class but shimoda, the guy who paid you to do his homework, was there and fuming.

"the hell is wrong with her?" he exclaims, throwing the paper onto the floor. "she wrote all my answers wrong on purpose!"

while shimoda was busy yelling while pointing fingers to your empty seat, rindou looks over his own answers. you had answered only four out of ten questions wrongly. he smirks and chuckles to himself, ignoring the way his heart was doing somersaults.

"i fucking paid this bitch to do a simple task, and she-"

a fist comes flying to his face in a motion so swift that he had no time to react. shimoda stumbles backwards, hitting his chair and then the floor. the classroom falls silent. with a bloody nose, he slowly looks up to see who punched him.

"if it was so simple, you would've done it yourself," rindou says through gritted teeth whilst bending down to grab him by the collar. "and you've got some nerve calling someone a bitch while they're not around. i'd like to see you try that again later, dumbass."

he harshly lets go of shimoda's collar and as if on cue, you walked in to the classroom—your gaze completely fixated on rindou. his heart jumps when you finally speak to him after days of ignoring him.

"bet you didn't know we have a quiz next week that will significantly contribute to our grade for hamada sensei's class," you announce right off the bat, no hi or hello whatsoever. you weren't even going to acknowledge the injured shimoda.

rindou, in fact, didn't know about the quiz.

he quirks an eyebrow at you. "i didn't... but i'll just cheat."

"no, you won't," you interrupt and decide for him, confusing him further.

"what-"

"i'm gonna tutor you after school."

← prev chapter | next chapter →

[silverynight]

Omega state

"Alpha!"

Katsuki is having that dream again; it's amazing, and it helps him wake up in a good mood. However, this time is slightly different. Usually, whenever he dreams about Izuku being his mate and calling him alpha they're older, they have a whole apartment for themselves and sometimes, when the dream is extra indulgent, Katsuki can see Izuku's baby bump the moment he walks in.

This time, the dream is in the present; Izuku is in the common room, sitting on the couch, making grabby hands at him and calling him alpha a couple of times.

The omega looks absolutely adorable, so Katsuki can't actually complain.

"What is it, baby?" The blond alpha smirks because he won't let an opportunity like that one slip through his fingers, even if it's just a dream.

However, when he sits next to Izuku and pulls him into his lap, like he usually does in his dreams, he notices that the omega's eyes are completely white.

His instincts have taken control of him.

"I'm glad you're playing along, Bakugo," Round Face says then. If he's being completely honest, he hadn't noticed her at all. Ponytail and the class president are there too.

"What happened?" He asks them, trying not to get distracted by Izuku pleased purr or the way he's nuzzling against Katsuki's chest.

It's almost impossible not to nuzzle him back, but he has already figured out this is not actually a dream (he should've guessed it earlier, the pain on his back is still there from yesterday's training) and Izuku probably needs his help.

"Recovery girl said it was triggered by stress and negative emotions," Round Face says, sighing. "You know how Deku-kun is; he's probably keeping all those negative thoughts about himself for a while. He has refused to have a serious conversation about how he feels after the war."

That sounds like the Izuku he knows.

"What should I do now?"

"Recovery girl said he'll go back to normal on his own, but it'll be good if we just played along with whatever he says," she continues. "I'm glad you did that. I know you two are good friends now, but I wasn't sure how you were going to react."

She has no idea. This is literally a dream come true for Katsuki; of course, it's not actually real even though he knows he's not dreaming and it'll probably break him a little as soon as Izuku goes back to himself, but Katsuki will do anything to have this even if it's just for a while.

The omega nuzzles against his chin again and Katsuki can't stop his inner alpha from letting out a very loud, pleased purr.

Izuku purrs right back.

"Alpha, you smell really good!" The green haired omega beams. "I like your scent."

"I love your scent, baby," Katsuki whispers back, pressing his lips against Izuku's soft curls. "It's the best thing in the world."

The sincerity in his voice is so evident to him that he hopes none of his classmates notice.

"Alpha..."

Izuku keeps repeating that word a lot, and even though Katsuki loves to be Izuku's alpha, even if it's just for a little while, he wonders if the fact that he hasn't called him Kacchan, not even once since he saw him this morning, means that the omega doesn't actually know who he is and just acts like that around him because of his strong scent.

Katsuki knows he's a prime alpha, and he's aware that his scent is more powerful than any other of his alpha classmates.

Well... not all of them.

"What is going on?"

He senses Half and half a few seconds before he walks into the common room and Katsuki immediately tenses and pulls Izuku closer to himself.

He's aware that the best thing for the omega right now is to go along with whatever he wants, but Katsuki honestly doesn't think he can stand the thought of Izuku pulling away from him and going towards Half and half instead.

If he starts calling him alpha too, Katsuki is going to lose it.

He shakes his head. No, he should do whatever is best for Izuku, it does matter if it hurts him like a deep cut.

"Why is alpha upset?" Izuku looks at Katsuki, nuzzling against his cheek like a good omega would. "Please, don't be upset!"

The blond does his best to relax; his scent must smell sour to Izuku's cute little nose at the moment; it won't help the omega at all.

"I'm... feeling better, don't worry," he assures him and it's true, mostly because the omega hasn't looked once at Icyhot since he got there.

Said alpha narrows his eyes a bit.

"Deku-kun is in omega state at the moment," Round Face takes care of the explanation, and Katsuki is glad for it. "And he thinks Bakugo is his alpha. Recovery girl said we should play along."

After a tense moment, Half and half nods, but sits on the opposite couch to theirs, which Katsuki doesn't appreciate.

"I want to help," Icyhot says.

"I'm hungry," the omega says then and Katsuki has the need to make the best meal he has ever tasted.

"I can bring him something," the alpha with mismatched hair blurts out.

"I'm his alpha. I can do it," Katsuki tries not to growl, but he really wants to. His inner alpha is not happy with Half and half at all.

"You're not actually his–"

"Maybe you could use some help, Bakugo," Ponytail cuts Icyhot off and stands in the middle of the common room. She looks like she's trying her best to avoid conflict of any kind. "Midoriya won't like to be away from you at the moment."

She has a point. Just to make sure, Katsuki tries to move the omega off his lap carefully. Izuku pouts.

"I need to go to the kitchen to make you breakfast, Izuku."

"Don't leave me! Alpha, please!"

"Maybe we can all make something for him while you stay here!"

Katsuki is truly grateful for the Class president, but he truly wants to be the one to take care of Izuku.

Even if it's just while this thing lasts, he is Izuku's alpha.

Good thing he has gone to the gym and trained extra hours for this exact purpose. It's one of his dreams too.

"Alright, nerd," he smirks. "Hop on my back."

Once the omega is with his arms and legs all wrapped around him, Katsuki walks towards the kitchen like he's not carrying a happy omega on his back at all.

He makes breakfast while his Izuku nuzzles against the back of his neck and his cheek as he purrs.

It's honestly the best day of his life. He gets to take care of Izuku, make meals for him, cuddle with him and give him one of his hoodies because the omega wants to wear something with Katsuki's scent on it.

Too bad it lasts only a day. Izuku goes back to himself at night, just as Katsuki is planning to take a couple of his sheets and pillows to the common room so they could sleep together.

"Kacchan, what happened?" Izuku blinks a couple of times, looking so tiny in that hoodie it makes the alpha purr. "Why am I wearing your clothes?"

It's painful to go back to reality after living on of his most beloved dreams for a whole day, almost a day...

Katsuki sighs and sits next to him before calmly explaining everything that happened to the omega.

Izuku's cheeks turn completely red and he eventually hides behind his own arms in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, Kacchan."

"Don't apologize," he says and he means it because it sounds like it was something bad. Like his Izuku was wrong for believing Katsuki was his alpha.

Katsuki wants to be his alpha.

"Thanks for playing along," the omega mumbles, looking away from him.

It hurts Katsuki.

"It was my pleasure." For the first time, the blond hopes Izuku can hear the truth in every single one of those words.

It doesn't look like he does, judging by the snort that comes out of his beautiful lips.

"Sure!" He chuckles, but there's no light in his green eyes and Katsuki hates it. "I just hope it wasn't too annoying for you."

"It wasn't annoying," he insists, taking a step closer. "I enjoyed it."

"Kacchan, I know you're trying to be a good friend, but please don't lie–"

"I have never lied to you," he hisses, getting slightly irritated. If Izuku was looking at him instead of the floor, he would see how much Katsuki means every single word. "Izuku... do you think if... I was a better alpha you'd want me? For real?"

He shouldn't have said that; he's not ready to tell Izuku he loves him.

He's not ready to ruin their friendship and he's certainly not ready to lose him.

"What do you mean better?" This time Izuku is the one who looks irritated. He's finally staring into Katsuki's eyes. "You're perfect, Kacchan!"

The blond rolls his eyes.

"I'm the farthest from–"

"You're not actually listening!" The omega growls and even though they're having a discussion, Katsuki likes when Izuku gets all passionate about something, it doesn't matter if he's mad at him. "You don't understand! You're perfect to me!"

But that, that makes him freeze and look into Izuku's green eyes; he's tearing up.

"Izuku..."

"I want you to be my alpha!"

Then he stops too; he blinks as he realizes what he just said.

"But only if you want to, Kacchan..."

"You have no idea how many times I have dreamed of you saying something like that," the alpha is tearing up too, but he doesn't care because Izuku wants him, he actually does.

Izuku is still wearing his hoodie, he still smells like Katsuki and the alpha can't take it anymore.

He pulls the omega into his arms and kisses him on the lips. They're both so inexperienced the kiss is so messy, but Katsuki doesn't care. To him, this is perfect.

"I'll be your alpha, Izuku."

The omega nods, absolutely happy.

Maybe Katsuki's dreams aren't only that, after all.

Perhaps they're a glimpse into the future. One in which they're both mated, married, have their own apartment and Izuku is pregnant with their pups.

Katsuki would like that more than anything, but for now, he'll take Izuku on as many dates as he wants.

***

Patreon

[dragonsoulage]

How they eat it…

feat. Levi Ackerman, Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert, Jean Kirstein, Connie Springer

They love it, they are addicted, they just can’t get enough of you and your pretty heaven down there. How eager they all are to just eat you up…

Hello friendos, here we are the next smutty smut I am uploading 👀💀 this time I felt like the AoT men deserved some attention or more like we deserved their attention xD so just have fun reading it 🤌🏻💕

Warnings: pūssy eating, face sitting, use of pet names, overstimulating

Wordcount: 4K

Levi Ackerman ~ The feral and mean captain

When you came in his office, like you did every day, as a good girlfriend, you didn't think you would end up sprawled out on his desk.

Not that this wouldn't have happened before. But he said he was hungry, little did you know, the only thing he was hungry for, was the paradise between your legs.

Not many things get off of his mind, it was so rare that he actually found time to relax.

Time to stop thinking, but hell, his brain stopped working on every heavy thought as soon as he had you on his tongue.

Tongue lapping at your pulsing pussy, hands around your thighs, holding you firm in place.

"Stop wiggling around so much, brat." he murmured between his ministrations.

Tongue laid flat against your cunt before licking up and then circling your swollen nub. It made your legs grew shaky every time he did that. And looked up at you, steel blue eyes, locked onto yours, not only did he devoured your delicious pussy, your very soul left your body when he looked at you like this.

Feral, you could tell he was so feral about your pussy.

No matter if he is actually inside you, feeling like the best place on earth, or if it's his tongue that danced around your sensitive flesh.

"Levi, I-I can't help, it's too much." you whimpered, and you were such a whiny slut for the captain. Even if you said it was too much, he knew you enjoyed it, the way you felt so hot on his mouth. Always these crashing orgasms he gave you, when he just couldn't stop, eating you out in the most feral way possible.

When Levi was hungry, he really was, and you shouldn't stop him from eating his meal

You heard a husky chuckle, what send vibrations through your pussy, made you clench around nothing.

"Too much? Always so whiny, but this pussy tells me otherwise, love." he answered you, before you felt his tongue wiggling his way inside.

And the sight, Levi's eyes rolled back, a groan was heard. Nearly as if this was even more satisfying than actual fucking you. Your taste addicting to him, your hands had found their way in his hair. Gently tugging on the raven black strands. His hands keeping you in place.

„You have some good pussy don't you?" it was not like he expected you to say anything, but shit, this pussy had him whipped. Face buried nose deep inside your sweet pussy.

All you could do was moan, heavy eyelids shutting because you felt the next organs approaching. Indeed, he used his whole lunch break to eat.

Even when the meal was your perfect pussy on his desk. „Do I, or are you just saying this because you are literally feral now?" you were able to say something in a complete sentence. Making him a little surprised. He stopped shortly, looking up at you, his lips glossy from your juices. Running down his chin. His look hard as usual, but with a certain spark in his eyes when it came to you.

He took one hand from your thighs, just to smear your slick arousal over your puffy clit, making you shudder nicely for him.

Maybe you had been too bold to tell him he is feral, as if he would not know that your taste was his weakness. But he could eat you out until his jaw hung slack, just to see you squirm.

„Feral? Says the one who is literally shoving my face towards her cute cunt." he pointed out gruffly, his thumb spreading your lower lips just a little.

He smirked before spitting right onto your sopping wet folds.

„You make it not easy with the way you eat-„ you were interrupted by a sudden swat right onto your precious cunt. Making you whine, looking at your captain with such needy eyes, eyes that pleaded for mercy.

„When you really want it feral, love... I do should use the last 10 minutes of my break and making you cum onto my face. Just so you clean up your mess." he saw it now as challenge, and before you could even discuss his tongue swirled around your swollen clit with such a precise movement. These probably would be the longest 10 minutes you would endure to cuming.

Eren Yeager ~ The unfair tease

„You are such a sloppy girl." you heard him chuckle before these wet noises and slurping sounds were heard. When Eren eats, you are literally not easy off the hook. Your legs dangling over his shoulders, eyes solemnly focused on this pink slit between your thighs.

Hands around your thighs loosely, because he just loved when you wiggled your snug cunt more into his face.

„You are just so damn pretty down here." Eren spoke in awe before his tongue flicked your small bundle of nerves. Then capturing it with his sheeny lips and sucked on it. Making your back arch and moan. „P-pretty?" was all you could ask before your head landed in the pillows again. Feeling his long hair tickling your thighs.

Although, your hot boyfriend was quite the vision. His brown hair framing his face with some strands, even when the most was in a small man bun. And the teal green eyes first looking at you, and how delicious you squirmed before they focused on the heaven between your legs.

„Well, a pretty girl, is pretty in all places." he replied to you against your heated flesh. Every time he ate you out, he made some breaks to justify teasing you. From licking all up and down your slit to simply kissing your outer lips with a cute ‚mwah'. His lips sheeny with all the slick from your pussy.

It was nearly torture, when he took his sweet time withe you, teasing and kissing, licking everywhere but not where you needed.

Just to watch how you bucked up your hips. Squirming in his grasp.

"Eren...'s not fair when you..." you tried to tell him that you wanted his mouth back on you.

You heard a chuckle from between your legs, and then his eyes darting up to look into your pretty face, your cheeks flushed to red, this cute needy expression.

"Oh, it's not fair to have such a perfect cunt, baby." he said to you low and husky, before leaning his head against your thigh, parting your thighs just a little more.

Thumbs coming up your outer lips to expose that sweet, swollen pearl that had you gasping for air when he touched it.

"Come on, be a good girl and be patient, still not done with her." Eren let you know before kissing your thigh, and then you got what you wanted.   

His hot flexible muscle inside your sopping wet cunt, wiggling his way inside you, groaning at your taste and how your juices flowed into his mouth.

When he eats, he eats nasty, wanting everything from you. Having your thighs quivering.

Having his sweet princess moan so pretty and with her hands in his hair, pulling him closer.

No matter if you were a shy one or not, the fact he wanted that you tugged and pulled on him, just so his tongue could delve deeper. He liked hair pulling, not matter if it was yours or his.

"Is this fair enough to you, sweetheart?" he asked you in between before you looked down, his eyes closed shut, just to savor your taste, his favorite meal after a long day.

He could spend hours between your thighs.

Jaw locked and tensed, and still he would be hungry for more. Would eating you out until you begged him to stop.

In general, he loved having his girl sprawled out for him, always getting you so wet without his cock in the near of your pussy.

And when you were sloppy enough for his taste, only then he freed his thick length, coating himself in your juices, making you whine even more.

How his tip would always brush over your sensitive clit, nearly shoving in before dodging. 

He was a merciless tease to you, just like now.... Fucking you with his tongue, only his tongue.

Making you all the cute noises and these squelches of your pussy, the way he slurped up every drop, it had him hooked.

The way he holds open your thighs, when he felt them shaking.

Just eagerly burying his head even more in your pussy. The pink tip of his tongue circled your clit again, before he snickered, after he heard that needy whine.

"Please Eren, am I not wet enough for you?" you pleaded head on the pillows and so needy, you wanted to cum so badly. But he always stopped before you had the slightest chance to ride that wave.

"Oh, you are dripping, babygirl. And I just love that...just a little more." he murmured before you felt his nose brushed your clit and his tongue was inside you.... It will still take some time until he would give you his dick you wanted so much.  

Armin Arlert ~ The greedy boy

"Keep going baby, grind that...ah grind that perfect pussy on my face." his smooth voice urged you, hands on your hips trying to move them for you.

Armin was always like a lovesick puppy as soon as he had his girl's pussy on his mouth.

Eager to lick up every drop from you, tasting every sweet release he could coax out of your breathless form.

You were a goddess for this boy, when eating you out, he just loved it when you rode his face.

Your pristine cunt smashing down his face, suffocating him so he could just die happy.

He knew he would, breathing you in and his skilled tongue, it made you feel like you were on cloud 9.

One of your hands, in his blonde hair, massaging his scalp and you were panting, whimpering.

Even when you were on top, and technically in charge, Armin was greedy.

"You are such a greedy boy, baby." you tried to speak, brows knit together as you felt slowly the next orgasm building up. Large hands went down to your ass, grabbing your soft flush, just to pull you even closer.

Hot tongue wiping so shamelessly over your clit, making you shudder, so he heard this cute noise again. And Armin? O hell he was gone, sky blue eyes fluttered open just to be able to catch a glimpse how you rode his face so elegant. 

For him, you were so beautiful, and it was a privilege that you allowed him to taste you.

Addicted to your taste, your pussy was just so sweet to him, honey from the most delicious ambrosia.

His cute kisses in between, when you could listen how wet his pressed a kiss right onto your swollen nub.

"You are just so, pretty. Such a pretty girl. Tasting sooo good." he praised you, always told you what your self-worth needed, always telling you how perfect you were to him. 

Your hips stuttered slightly, when your eyes rolled back, trying now more urgently to move back and forwards, your slick all smearing over his face, dripping down his chin. And he loved it, such a messy boy in bed.

You grabbed his hands, easing them from your ass, leading them right to your tits, he groaned, loved how good your tits fit into his hands. You were made for him, he was sure about this.

No matter what a big brain Armin had, sometimes he still couldn't explain why you were so satisfied with him, that you loved him...

"You are just too good to me, my good boy. You are my good boy, aren't you." you asked him, grabbing his hair just a little tighter now, as you then looked down.

What you saw... Armin, a total mess, literally whimpering just because your pussy was on his tongue.

A cute pink shade you could see over his nose and how hungry he devoured your cunt. His eyes reflecting with that pure need to satisfy you, over and over, wanting your praise.

How hard it was not to just beg you to ride his dick, because when you turned your head around, his neatly tugged away member was pulsing in his pants.

How you already could see he was leaking pre-cum, so, so much. You were sure when this would go on, Armin would just be cuming from eating you out.

His dick throbbing with so much contained need.

"I'm your good boy, ma'am." he replied before you heard that needy whimper, when he squeezed your tits, responding to the way you grabbed his head and pushed him nose deep inside your wet pussy.   

You felt just so hot, so damn wet, just because he made these puppy eyes when pleasing you. That he found more pleasure in fucking his tongue inside your sloppy hole, to have you moaning because of him, than anything else.

Calling you ma'am because it turned you on, he could be so submissive, although when you allowed, shit he grew all feral over you.

You leaned just a little back, grabbing his throbbing member that was still covered from his beige pants.

And when you did, he whined, making your pussy clench in response.

"Shit, Armin, you are so hard." you murmured, you would be so ready to ride him, to move your talented hips in circles making his head spin.   

When you wanted to pull away your addicting nectar from him, you didn't think you would have to deal with him, because no matter how desperate he was to spill his load, he wanted to make his girl cum first.

He was greedy, the future commander of Paradis, so greedy when it came to your pussy.

His elegant hands hastily grabbing your waist, just to glue you to his mouth.

"Not yet, want you to cum on my face first, pretty." he said to you, and there you heard this slight demanding edge in his voice, he served you but when he wanted something so bad he would make it clear....a submissive commander, just so eager to wiggle his tongue back inside your tight walls.

And when you heard his tone, it made your pussy flutter...

He did such good work, having you soon squirting all over his face, just to slurp up your juices and the having you propped up on his thick cock....  

Jean Kirstein ~ The sloppy and filthy gentleman

Jean, was just so into it, when he ate your pussy, he really ate. He made out with your lower parts, giving it a nice smooch, before spitting so sloppy down on it.

He was nasty, and he weren't even ashamed of it.

"So fucking sweet, baby, you are just so sweet. Can't believe you made me wait all day..." he started to speak just to interrupt himself with laying his tongue flat against your slit, to lick it up oh, so slowly before pressing a kinda tender kiss against your pulsating clit.

"...to fucking taste you, it should be a crime for refusing me access to this, treasure." Jean ended his sentence, and well he liked to babble when he was so focused on your cunt.

Dirty blonde hair messy, because you had tangled your fingers in it.

Your chest heaving because he was so mean when eating pussy, although he never denied you your orgasms, no...he made it worse, urging you to cum on him, just to spray your syrupy juices all over his handsome face.   

"Stop saying my pussy is a...fuck, babe." you wanted to complain, although it never was serious, trying to get him out of his hazy way to wipe his long tongue over your clit.

But as an answer, he just spit onto your pussy, smearing his saliva from your sensitive nub right down your clenching hole. Aching to be filled with him, and the noise you made?

Oh, that was so adorable how you chocked on your whimper. How your fingers grabbed his hair tighter.

"Let a gentleman enjoy his meal, darling. Otherwise, it's not nice, and you want to be a nice girl, for me, right?" he replied, but eyes focused on the spot between your thighs.

His thumb, just slightly teasing you, with sliding in just a tiny little bit, making your hips buck up, trying to get more, more, more.

He was anything but a gentleman right now, eating your pussy so messy, making out with it as if his life would depend on.

Groaning and rolling back his golden eyes. He could get drunk like this, without even needing whiskey.

"Please... I-I be a nice girl. Just...don't tease, I need you, Jean." you moaned so sweet, he loved hearing you like this. 

His sweet girl, so needy and stuttering. Pussy just dripping onto his tongue, your candied nectar, everything he needed. Before you felt how, he just parted your outer lips a little more, exposing your clit to the cold air.

"Look at that, you are throbbing down here, so cute. How should I stop, giving her the attention she deserves?" Jean spoke out loud his thoughts, not even being ashamed he talked about your pussy. Blowing cold air over your heated flesh, making you hiss in response.

Tugging on his hair with a little more force. You were a nice girl, mostly. But he drove you crazy when he couldn't stop talking.

"Jean!" you repeated his name, but you just saw how his glossy lips closed around your nub, sucking it in and making your toes curl.

Flicking his pointy tongue over it, making you feel so high, you nearly could taste your next orgasm.   

And Jean was so dirty, he sneaked one hand down his body, inside his pants, he was just so hard because of you.

So hard because of the way you responded to his touch. He kept his lips sealed around your clit for a further moment, sucking hard, making you gasp. Giving his balls a good squeeze.

His large hand wrapped around his length, feeling up and down his veiny shaft, while eating out his girl. Making him groan into you, what send a pleasant vibration through your core.

"Fuck, can't help when you are so delicious, gorgeous. Tell me, how much you want me to split you open, darling." he murmured husky before his tongue was back inside you, stroking your inner wall in such a precise perfection, it made you cry out.

Thighs shaking, and it didn't help when you looked down and saw that he was touching himself.

Jean was your tall, hot boyfriend, with literally the perfect dick, and he touched himself because he couldn't wait.

His thumb stroking over his leaking tip, no matter how composed he always seemed, how cool.

He was leaking and desperate for you, wanting all your juices in his mouth, down his chin. 

You tried to think straight, but it was all gone when his tongue was inside you and his nose brushed against your clit, all while he fucked his hand to you.

"Want...ahh want you to fuck me, honey." you manage to choke out, and this had him so gone, feeling his dick throbbing in his hands, hastily pulling your one thigh more apart to have that better access, to nuzzle his face in your pussy.

So you felt his light beard tickle your soft inner thighs, making the sensation all the better, making you whimper.

And this was the moment, he would do anything he can just so you cum right in his mouth, squirting your essence on his tongue so he could make you fall apart on his dick right after that...

Connie Springer ~ The chaotic talker

When he ate you out, it was chaotic. Although it nearly seemed like he purred when he felt your hands ran through his short hair, not enough to actually pull on it but enough to ran your fingertips through it so lovingly.

Although Connie had a pace, it made you anything different from crying and being an overstimulated mess, so your thighs were always shaking so cute.

"Stay still, baby." he said to you, trying to keep your legs in his grasp, before pulling you closer to his eager mouth.

Literally nuzzling his head into your puffy folds, tongue exploring every crease and crevice of your pussy, and he never got bored by it.

"When you...ahh when you go that fast I can't do much about it." you replied to him shortly looked down and saw how his yellow eyes glint up at you, oh he lived for eating pussy.   

No matter what treats he could have, you were his favorite.

Connie weren't a submissive one, not always at least, although he couldn't help when you were on top of him. But he lived for your praise, he loved to see you fall apart because of him.

Always think he weren't a great looker, not like you. Sometimes not really getting the fact he was able to pull you, a hot girl, a sweet girl, everything he wanted.

Always needing to prove it to himself that he could make you feel good.   

"But you enjoy it, sweetheart. I know you do, otherwise your little needy pussy wouldn't be clenching around nothing." he chuckled and then took a moment to look down, just to see you clench, with a following snicker.

"As I told, you can't make your pussy lie, pretty." he said before diving back in, holding your spread legs open for him.

Propped between them, kissing your lips down there over and over again.

When you looked down you saw how his tongue flicked out eagerly lapping up your slick, you were dripping for him and he enjoyed it.

Maybe even more than you, he ached to be inside you, but he worked on his impatience, besides he never could leave his girl needy on his tongue, could he?

"She is so responsive for me, isn't she." he whispered against your cunt, and you just whimpered, he loved the filthy pussy talk.

Even when you laid there, with a heaving chest, just finally wanting to cum, but he teased, made you so wet and hot, that you were the impatient.   

"So wet, so damn sweet. Hmmm...need to get her to talk a little more for me." Connie spoke before he just got a little up from his place, hovering over you, taking in your flushed state.

Your kiss bitten lips from making out with him, the way your top was halfway down because he just couldn't get enough of groping your tits when making out, this was what got him worked up in the first place.

Eyes wandering down to your pretty pink pussy. He tilted his head, why not trying a different angle?

And alone on the way he looked at you, you could see his brain cells working.

"Connie, what you are about to do?" you asked him, trying to catch your breath, and all you earned was a crooked smile.

Then he grabbed you, hands sliding down your creamy skin on your thighs, down to your ass. Grabbing the soft flesh, giving it a good measured squeeze.

Before he pulled you toward him, bringing your legs up to him, holding up your lower back so you were propped on your shoulders down the mattress.

"Switching things up, love. Got the feeling you would cum real good like this." he replied, holding you so secure in his hands before kissing your ankle, and then lowering his head.   

His knees dig into the plush mattress of the bed, your hips bucking upwards, you felt a little embarrassed in this position, but it felt good, when Connie fucked his tongue inside your needy hole, before just spitting down on your cunt.

"Yeah that's it...you like it when I do this right?" he talked, holding you on your thighs up.

All you could do was whine and nod, but you weren't aware that he wasn't talking to you.

"Shhh, baby, talking to m other pretty girl here. Listen how good I make her feel." he just shhhd you, talking to your pussy, licking over your clit, what made you close your eyes shut.

"You talk to...never mind." you then decided to just take it as it was, his tongue feeling too good to question anything, your pussy drunk boyfriend said.

[11queensupreme11]

Omg in the cu cheats au! how would the other yans react to cu’s crash out? I feel like beel would manipulate the situation to his favor lol

some would take advantage of the situation, others would be too furious to even think of it

poseidon would be the angriest of them all. first cú chulainn forces himself on his precious daughter-wife and forces her into a marriage (pot calling kettle black), AND THEN HE HAS THE GALL TO HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH SOME LOWLIFE TRASH???? this man is PISSED. he is ready to wage war on the ENTIRETY of the celtic pantheon. this is a huge insult to his daughter. you dare to imply that his perfect daughter wasn't enough? you dare to insult her by going after some low-class whore???????????? cú chulainn's son might have to wait in line, poseidon wants to rip him apart first 💀

beelzebub would take advantage of this. he's never been so happy in his life LMAO. sure it's at the expense of his beloved, but it's okay he's there for her 🥺💖 unfortunately, there's no way to get rid of the stupid marriage bond between her and cú chulainn, but that's fine. he won't end it NOR will he kill him because he wants him around to suffer. he'll gradually pull percy away from him, offer his comfort and reassurances. hell, he'd even let the sécy kids stay over. he hates their guts, but he's still their "stepfather" in a way and he wants to stay in percy's good graces, so he'll suck it up and be nice to them

LOKI HASN'T STOPPED CACKLING EVER SINCE HE HEARD THE NEWS. okay, well, maybe he did pause a bit to make a cú chulainn doll that he violently destroyed because how DARE he breaks his darling's heart, but he's having the time of his life once the anger's been let out 😭 this man is so vile, i bet you he would break into cú chulainn's palace and fuck percy right then and there on their marital bed. oh, cú chulainn walked in? sucks for him, he's too busy being balls deep in percy to care 🤪

hades is a mix between furious and also eager to use this to his advantage. he's a bit conflicted. he's extremely disappointed in cú chulainn's behavior, but at the same time this is good for him because that's one less husband to worry about. HOWEVER, he does feel bad for manipulating percy back into his warm embrace. his poor niece was cheated on, and he knows it's wrong to take advantage of this, but he just can't help it 🥺💔

anubis would be right behind poseidon in waging war. like yeah he's glad percy no longer loves the guy, BUT HOW DARE YOU HURT HER???? SHE'S LITERALLY PERFECT, HOW COULD YOU! see, he knew humans were bad! they have no sense of loyalty! always so finicky with their feelings. they don't care about true love!!!! he'll snatch percy up and leave her in the palace to spend some time with kebi, who feels equally as upset and wants to give her mommy all the love and cuddles she deserves! meanwhile, anubis is getting ready to strangle cú chulainn, right next to poseidon and cú chulainn's own son lol

apollo has been cheated on, he knows the feeling. his nonexistent heart breaks because he knows how much it hurts. he'll be right there to (forcefully) whisk percy away to delos to smother her in his love. he'll be in tears though, he can't believe his beloved is going through something so agonizing. (he is crying more than she is LOL). afterwards, he'll PROMISE her that he would avenge her. what's that, my sweet? you don't want vengeance? oh silly girl, you don't know what you really want, so just sit back and let your NUMBER ONE HUSBAND take care of things 💖

[luvologyy]

Hmm…. How do you think the tuplar crew would react to their long-haired s/o suddenly showing up to their house, one day , with short hair 🤔

(Bonus points if the s/o acts all nonchalant about it too 🤭)

I love this anon, especially bc I cut my hair a couple of months ago, and it's growing back long, lol

⋆.˚ ★— luscious locks

Anya, daisuke, curly, swansea, Jimmy x reader

no specific detail about readers' hair type! It can be any to your liking (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) + different hair headcanons too ig reader acts all nonchalant lmaoo

Takes place on earth! Enjoy ୨ৎ

Anya

★ when anya opened her door and saw you with your long hair so much shorter than before, her jaw was DROPPED.

★ she couldn't form words, she wasn't weirded out by your new hair, it was just a surprised to her, so unexpected yk yk??

★ even though she was sad to see your long hair gone, she supports anything you choose to do with your hair.

★ overall, she asks questions about you cutting your hair, asking, "What made you cut it?" Or "did you cut it yourself?" Just curious about your hair journey ykk

★ she loves playing with your hair, with your permission ofc. It doesn't matter if you got short or long, she loves itt

★ she always loved styling your hair, too! Like tying it up in buns or ponytails. Even though your hair is shorter and harder to style, it doesn't stop anya.

Daisuke

★ daisuke wasn't expecting anyone to show up at his house, but there you are! But when he saw you, bro was DEVESTATED..

★ he loved your long hair and how soft it was.. but now IT WAS SHORT. HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THINGG!? Daisuke thought.

"Y/N.." daisuke said, his jaw literally dropped

"What? What's wrong?"

"YOUR HAIR!!" He yelled, pointing towards your hair.

★ will not stop bugging you about your hair, poking your head when he's with you, and sadly running his fingers through your short hair.

★ ofc, he doesn't actually hate it. It just sucks that he's not the only one with shortish hair now.

★ he'll like it if you dye your hair different colors!

★ like he doesn't care if you cutted your hair or not, he'll love it if you have colorful hair.

★ every time he'll pass by you, he'll scruff up your short hair with his hand, just to annoy you.. yk how daisuke is

Curly

★ He's really surprised, but happy to see your new hair !

★ he loves your new hair, yeah.. he did live your longer hair, but he loves it short, too.

★ he supports any choices you do with your hair, just like anya.

★ if it's cutting your hair, styling it in funky ways, dying your hair? He'll help you! He's the most supportive guy you'll know.

★ he can't help but be surprised and laugh from seeing your new hair, not making fun of it, just out of shock and a mix of happiness, yk??

★ curly will rain you with compliments.. NONSTOP. telling you how pretty your hair is and how soft it is, and how it suits you a lot.

"Oh my gosh! Y/n!" Curly laughed out when he saw you

"What, what's wrong?" You said blankly

"Your hair!"

"You like it?"

"Yeah, it looks nice on you."

★ he can't help but stare at your new hair, just admiring your new hair.

Swansea

★ as soon as he cracked open the door, he swore you almost gave him a heart ATTACKK!

★ He's absolutely disappointed in you. He'll just stand there in denial..

"What the fuck is this?.."

"What's wrong, swansea??"

"ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHAT'S WRONG??"

★ one of his favorite things about you will always be your hair. But now, since it's not long like how he likes, he's DEVESTASTED

★ will lecture and scold you like an old man, telling you dumb stuff about you cutting your hair.

★ will not stop bugging you about you cutting your hair. He'll BE ALL ON YOU, reminding of your old long hair and how much he loved it. He'll be so extra with it, girll..

★ doesn't understand why you would cut it. He thought your long hair was perfect.

★ he definitely has to get used to your new hair. He just hopes your hair will grow back longer (not knowing you'll prolly cut it again lol.)

★ he does learn to like it, but he'll always prefer your long hair. he's just a little hater..

★ will lecture you NONSTOPP like your his child (you being a grown ass adult too💀) knowing damn well he's not your dad. (Love a father figure)

Jimmy

★ He's in disbelief, never thought you'd cut your AMAZING LUSCIOUS HAIR.

★ the whole day you're with him, he will give you stink eye..

★ will give you silent treatment. He's THAT petty. He's that mad at you just because you cutted your long hair.

★ he'll eventually give up and will talk to you after trying to give you silent treatment. But he's still disappointed in you for cutting your hair.

★ just like Swansea, he'll definitely have to get used to your new hair.

★ he'll just stare at you, looking at your new hair with the biggest frown on his face.

★ calm down, he doesn't actually hate your short hair (that much..) he just acts petty and extra.

I'm not surprised if this flops THIS IS SOO LAZYYY

[into-fiction]

Just saw your winged!Glinda little snippet, do you have any headcannons for it?

oh babe i wrote that in like literally 5 minutes lmao. BUT- i will try my best

(also i think the drawing is based off an ao3 fic that i haven't read yet so these have nothing to do with that just fyi!)

its impossible for glinda to wash her own wings. as such, the blood stains a bunch of the feathers closest to her back a pink color. Morrible thinks this is hilarious

glinda has to build up all the muscles for her wings from scratch. which means....no flying yet. in fact- she can barely even lift them for days, resulting in them dragging painfully on the ground behind her and having several feathers break off

she's in pretty much constant pain as her body adjusts

the skin at the base of her wings heals in thick, rough scars

glinda is very lightweight now, but she packs a helluva punch. contrary to popular belief, bird bones are strong

she didn't just get the wings: her senses are sharper too (elphie had been thinking about birds not just wings or flight)

they can't get any clothes to fit her at first. they have to design pretty much everything as a halter top that she can step into and pull over her head, leaving her entire back bare. she hates it and she hates the new instinctual vulnerability of it

learning how to fly is easy. learning how to land....not so much

glinda has no one to preen her wings for her. she isn't even aware of how much better she'd feel if her feathers were properly taken care of

she never stops being scared of heights. she just learns how to fly through it