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crush3dmary · 7 months ago

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I wasn't going to post about this because it felt too vulnerable, but I think that might be what I need right now. 8 years ago today I attempted suicide and came the closest I've ever come to succeeding. These are my reflections on 8 years.

On September 27th, 2016, I took a month and a half of lithium and came the closest I’ve ever been to succeeding at killing myself. At the time, I saw it as just another failure to add to my ever-increasing list of them. Now, I don’t know what I think, but I’ve learned things since that have not brought me peace.

At the time, I had been suicidal for weeks, and I had a detailed plan for how I’d finally do it. I struggled through shift after shift at my shitty, dead-end retail job where I faked a smile, wondering if anyone could tell that beneath the exterior, all I wanted was to die. But we need to take it back further than that for anyone to really understand. This is the most vulnerable I will ever let myself be.

I am a psychiatric survivor, and I am also a victim of severe abuse, primarily sexual. I choose to think of myself as a victim rather than a survivor because since the age of 14 I’ve felt like a shell of a person in ways I don’t feel regarding my medical trauma. My internal scarring is so severe my ob/gyn says I will likely never have children, and I have damage to my parietal lobe from having multiple concussions in the same area of the brain. When I finally disclosed to a psychiatrist what I had been through, she told me it was one of the most severe cases of abuse she’d ever seen. That is all I will disclose of my experiences until my abuser has left this earth.

I have been diagnosed with everything you can think of at one point or another. My medical records practically recite the DSM-V. Right now, my diagnoses are bipolar-type schizoaffective disorder, borderline personality disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder, but I don’t care what label you want to put on it, because at the end of day, I am a product of my experiences.

I grew up as the oldest of three (now four, as I have a baby half-brother now). Growing up, I didn’t understand how my two younger sisters could handle their emotions, but I couldn’t. Every single thing I felt, felt like it would drown me. I experience all my emotions as physical sensations that I can feel throughout my entire body, and it manifests as literal chronic pain. My entire childhood, it was “stop crying”, “nobody else is upset about this”, “I don’t understand what the problem is”, but that’s the theory behind borderline, isn’t it? Borderline personality disorder is what happens when you take a sensitive child with big emotions and consistently invalidate them over and over again. As such, they never learn how to deal with their strong emotions and they turn inwards on themselves. That is exactly what happened to me.

My emotions cause me literal pain. It hurts every day. When my BPD gets triggered, it feels like my veins are on fire beneath my skin, like someone is trying to claw their way under my ribs, like there’s something inside of me that feels so horrible I just want to die. I am a lifetime self harmer, because it’s the only way I am able to bring myself down in those moments - to take the emotional pain inside of me and make it physical the only way I can. I’ve accepted by now that I will never stop.

The first time I had an intrusive thought about suicide, I remember being 11 years old. It has not stopped since. That’s where the suicide-type OCD comes in - I live every day with graphic intrusive thoughts about all the ways I should kill myself. This happens even on the best days of my life, it’s there, waiting to taunt me, to tell me that I should just die and here’s how I should do it. I have thought about suicide every single day for almost 20 years. The first time I made a plan was at 11, and my first attempt was at 14. I am chronically suicidal.

The first time I died was in 2016. That September, I was so overwhelmed with all the things that had happened to me and everything I’ve spent almost my entire life having to live with that I made a plan. I thought I would never get better. On September 26th, I went to the psychiatric emergency department at St Joseph’s in Hamilton and told them I had a plan to kill myself, and that if they sent me home, I would act on it. They did not take me seriously, because why would anyone trust another manipulative, hysterical borderline? Dr. Janet Alice Patterson, who I still partially blame, told me to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, gave me a very strong dose of a sedative, and sent me home.

When I got home, I took all the lithium I had and called 911 so that the paramedics would find my body instead of my family. I spent four days hooked up to machines, and as far as I’m aware my heart actually did stop briefly, but it’s not like I can remember most of those four days I spent in the ICU. What I do remember was waking up not knowing where I was, not even being sure if I was alive or if this was hell, because there’s no way I’d be going to the other place. Around me was a doctor and a gaggle of residents who weren’t much older than me, all looking at me like I was an animal. The doctor asked me a few questions to determine whether I was still at risk to myself, and then she turned around and talked to the residents about my medical history as if I wasn’t even in the room. I could hardly respond after having a tube down my throat. This was the lowest moment of my life, and I was a case study to them.

After that I did trauma therapy, three rounds of DBT, and CPT. I tried medication after medication, and I improved my situation. I went on to get a degree in social work and finished with a 90% average. My former diagnosis of PTSD was rescinded. I was considered “recovered”. Do you know what I learned from all of that?

I learned that no, actually, it doesn’t get better. I thought if I did all the right things my chronic emotional pain would go away, the daily (sometimes hourly, sometimes half-hourly) intrusive thoughts about killing myself would stop. I thought if I did what all the doctors told me, I’d “get better”. And I did. But I don’t like what “better” ended up looking like.

Sure, my situation improved. In fact, I pretty much have my dream life, in some ways. I have a fulfilling career and my dream job, I have a wife who loves me, I have a cat who sleeps at the foot of my bed, I have a fancy piece of paper I can put on my wall to show I graduated from college with distinction. I should be happy, but I’m not. It still hurts every day. My emotions still overwhelm me to the point of physical pain, and I still think about suicide multiple times a day. You just learn to live with it.

And that’s the worst part. Expecting all of it to go away if you do what the doctors tell you to and you make all the right choices on your own, only to realize that when you’re royally fucked, this is just what life is going to be like. And you have to keep choosing life over and over again. You have to find reasons to keep going, even when it hurts so much you think the chronic emotional pain will kill you before you can do it with your own hands.

I’ve only ever met one person who’s understood what this is like. The only other person I’ve met who also had suicide-type OCD and BPD was my roommate when I was moved up to psychiatry in the hospital that day. Me and O fell in love very quickly, and we spent the next two years in a whirlwind of whatever you could even call our relationship until the day she killed herself. The only other person who knew what this was like - for your emotions to swallow you whole and be chronically suicidal every day of your goddamn life - and she killed herself because it hurt too much. From the day she died in 2018, I have never felt more alone.

I have been considered “in remission” since 2019. I’m one of the ones who “got better”. I don’t feel “better”, because it doesn’t get better. Your situation improves, sure, but you spend your whole life fighting that thing in your head that says you don’t deserve to be here anymore. And that’s what they don’t tell you. All the stories about recovery make it sound like it’s some hurdle you overcome. No, that hurdle never goes away. You keep fighting it until you can’t anymore.

I wish my reflection on eight years could be more positive than this, but here we are. It doesn’t get better. Sorry to be the one to say it.

#don't read this if you're in a bad place #i didn't struggle with this anniversary this much last year but. here we are.

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guster-animations · 4 months ago

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The Spire Script Saga

hello, i’m guster, and i’ve been trying to decipher the cipher introduced in splatoon 3’s side order DLC, dubbed “spire script”, since 15 months ago. the script is now finally on its way to being deciphered, so i wanted to detail how we got here in this post.

first of all, i did not at all do this alone; i’m part of a team of people who have all been working together for nearly a year to solve this script. the group is made up of four people: myself, cackle, @plinkamoon, and artzinil. we all bounced theories off each other, kept the group in check, and contributed ideas and tools in unique ways. magical miracle girl fia and kerfuzzle were also a huge help at many points too.

special thanks also go to: rassicas and their discord server for setting the standard for script deciphering and providing resources and a space for us to work together in; diamcreeper for providing game textures; and my friend oxii for coming up with the name “spire script”.

it’s been a hell of a journey and i’m dead serious when i say we would not have gotten to this point without every single one of these people. seriously, thank you.

the tale of spire script begins on september 14th, 2023, when the first gameplay trailer for side order dropped.

in rassicas’ private discord server, within an hour or two of the trailer’s release, artzinil noticed something that seemed like a new script on side order’s newly added official webpage.

several other graphics using the script were quickly found on the webpage, but not much could be determined from these small bits of text with little or no context.

five days later, on september 19th, 2023, graphics were released on the official splatoon twitter containing more spire script.

cackle noticed that both graphics in this tweet showed the color chip palette, and that there was script text on it—but the render of the palette had square script, while the 2D art had spire script in the same place. they checked to see if these strings matched up, and they did!

this would later be called the “palette lead”. it was the first of many potential leads that were found, and in fact the only one from the entire actual game which turned out to be correct.

cackle then tried to apply this lead to the color chips seen in the same graphic, but not too much effort was made and they moved onto deciphering things that used other, already deciphered, scripts, because this one was obviously not going to be solved using just the color chips and the text on the chips were probably gibberish.

meanwhile i try to solve the script with just the color chips

on the same day as cackle’s discovery of the palette lead, and with the exact same render from twitter, my journey with spire script began.

someone in a large discord server which i was active in at the time noticed that there seemed to be a new font in a graphic that had been posted today. i immediately took it upon myself to decipher this script with literally nothing besides the color chips (i didn’t know about any of the other places it was)

this seems like an incredibly stupid and irrational thing for me to do, and it objectively was, but it is somewhat less so when put into context. basically, i wasn’t really expecting to solve the cipher all by myself, more so just looking for something to kill time and hyperfocus on during my extremely boring classes.

my then-teammate oxii came up with the name “spire script” during practice that night, which i adopted from that point onward.

i spent hours each day for the next week or so attempting to brute-force the script using a spreadsheet text slotter (the current version has more examples than it did at the time), assuming that the text on each chip was meaningful. i also documented most potential combinations that i thought of, at first in my notes app, and then a bit later in a google doc which i would then use as a journal of sorts for all my endeavors with spire script.

on october 18th, 2023, i shared my findings about the script by adding “spire script” onto inkipedia’s page for inkling scripts and languages.

i still somehow had no idea that there was anyone else working on this script

…

and then nothing happened!

pre-release

the next pieces of spire script came five months later, with the second gameplay trailer for side order on february 13th, 2024.

i’d been sharing my findings on the script in many splatoon discord servers since september, including a modding and datamining server, and the next day, on february 14th (the 15th in their time zone), plink shared a finding in that server.

this was the 8-ball lead, based on the fact that the spire on the infinity ball seemed to match the deepsea script on octo expansion’s 8 ball (when the former was flipped around). if this lead were true, it would mean that some of spire script’s characters map to both letters and numbers.

on february 16th i finally connected with cackle on the modding server, and on february 17th i reached out to rassicas for help on tumblr and got invited to their discord server. plink joined the next day.

this is where things really started happening, now that we had the full team together and talking to each other.

the mixture of our different methods and ideas brought a lot of things about. having a text slotter spreadsheet and shorthand for all the script characters, which i’d developed back in september, were new to the members of rassicas’ server. both were very imperfect when i introduced them—the shorthand was slow to write with and i finally changed it only in december 2024, and cackle developed the text slotter into something much more organized.

the nature of spire script meant that we had to be much more thorough and resort to unconventional methods— cackle even spent hours analyzing our examples for letter frequency and comparing it to other scripts— and everyone added something to that and made it better.

the new promo material gave us several examples but only one lead besides plink’s 8-ball deduction, that being the spire script on the 8-ball goal.

it’s not a long string of characters! it’s only 4! and the words “goal” and “sink” are both 4 letters long so maybe it says one of those!

that was it that was the lead

release

the side order DLC finally came out on february 21st, 2023, introducing us to many false leads.

the most prominent of these was the pixel pearl lead, discovered by plink. there’s a pixelated pearl icon in a cutscene and when viewing dev logs— she has speech bubbles with runic script text in the cutscene, and spire script in the dev logs.

this text matched up perfectly with each other, and this method has historically been the most reliable when solving splatoon scripts. it didn’t conflict with the palette lead, either! so logically that means it’s trustworthy right??

somehow the answer is no.

this spire script text was mimicking how the runic text appeared. it’s actually evil.

pixel pearl was also used to find a few strings that seemed to be alphabet fragments, and some people used those.

there were other fake leads like this as well— the aforementioned 8-ball lead is an example, as well as text on bounce pads that lined up with the square script saying “TAKOSPO” on variants from the other story modes (found by cackle).

gas lead. i’m not sure what else to say

two leads did turn out to be correct, though, and they were found with the help of the text slotter!

two lines on the website seemed to make up words. i guessed that one of them said “name” based on what my text slotter gave me, and cackle guessed that another said “image area” from their own slotter.

these were somewhat random guesses and somehow they ended up being correct

lastly…

that’s not spire script. that’s the runic script letter for Q.

for some goddamn reason, runic Q is in spire script. our current running theory is that runic script was used as a template for spire—pixel pearl could be evidence for that—and the Q was accidentally left in and not changed.

the letter Q is one of the rarest in the english language and difficult to hit while keysmashing. so even though this is the only time runic Q appears like this with spire script, it could still be the letter Q.

does this mean we’ll have to put it on the graphic?? idk

janen ??

there were plenty other places with spire script found in side order, but none that seemed to mean anything or provide any clues. however, on july 24th, 2024, the script made a surprise reappearance in a place completely unrelated to the spire for some reason.

lemuria hub.

a 5-letter word is visible on a sign for a noodle shop in lemuria hub for some reason

this currently deciphers to “JANEN”, though any of those characters could map to a second letter. it’s probably a misspelling of “ramen”, as we already have different cipher characters for R and M. i personally think the first character could also map to D or T, since those are next to R on a keyboard, but i don’t know for sure as of writing this.

hey look it’s like blender

for some reason cackle came back to spire on august 8th, 2024, and noticed something that hadn’t been seen before.

an in-game x-y-z chart (for some 3d modeling program) has each axis labeled with a spire script character. these might actually be x, y, and z! though we don’t know which characters are which letters yet.

bancala walker

”bancala walker”, the japanese artbook for splatoon 3’s DLCs, was announced during the grand festival, on september 9th, 2024.

while the promo pages didn’t provide much in terms of a lead*, just random keymashing as usual, it did give us a preview at what would help us to begin deciphering the script.

*i did think that maybe the spire text below “drone megahorn laser” could be some corruption of those words, but i didn’t try too hard on that thankfully

the full bancala walker book released on december 13th, providing a plethora of spire strings. it didn’t go great at first…

at least i finally decided to fix my crappy shorthand.

not much happened, though

then, on january 8th, 2025, cackle’s copy of bancala walker arrived, and he found something.

he found a line of spire script that had evidently been copy-pasted from a longer string of square on the same page. this is a strategy that rassicas and company used when deciphering using examples from haikara walker, and it works just as well here, too.

it turns out that plink noting the page of every script example in the artbook on our text slotter spreadsheet, and the twitter user calmeremerald’s scan of page 19 specifically being lower quality, were what caused cackle to notice this. plink was looking at that scan for script samples and wrote down if any were too hard to make out. so when cackle got his copy, he made sure to take better pictures of the smaller script on those pages. this is what made him notice that the word lengths lined up here.

as it turns out, this text lineup from bancala walker supports, and is supported by, the palette lead (the very first lead)! it also proves the “name” and “image area” guesses to be correct.

a random cube scanner screen from the background of a stage also seems to have meaningful text. we haven’t fully figured that one out yet, though.

the next day i found another piece of matching text. this one only added one new piece of information, but it’s something!

with this, we are the most confident about spire script that we ever have been. there are, unfortunately, basically no meaningful bits of text with this script, but it was really fun to work with this team and i’m glad it’s amounted to something.

#splatoon #op #ciphers #spire script #what do i tag this as lol

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dearmrsawyer · 1 year ago

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Omg I don't know if you remember this but I came into your inbox a few months ago to tell you I was watching Lost via my favorite Youtuber's recaps and he just dropped the season 2 one a few days ago: first of all, how on EARTH did you keep up with this insane plot like I am sooooo shaken and shattered by the sheer mystery of it all????? WHAT ARE THOSE NUMBERS ABOUT, THEY'RE everywhere!!!! Also it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize Evangeline lily is playing Kate😂 The whole time I was like wow Kate looks so much like Evangeline lily, so you can imagine that if I'm lost here I'm pretty much Lost(tm) with the plot too but you know what? I'm having a grand old time, I'm loving this. Update: he just got to the season 2 finale and WHERE are they taking Kate, sawyer and Jack???? Hello????????? I'm so done this is so great

I REMEMBER YOU, the person watching lost in the most fascinating way possible 😂😂😂 anon i'm cracking up, this is so funny. i love that you're like WHAT about everything, you're having a truly authentic lost viewing experience. im so glad you're having a good time and finding it so engaging!!! THE NUMBERS omg one of my fav mysteries from the show tbh! ALSO THE END OF S2 when they others just up and kidnap kate, sawyer and jack and michael just sails away on his tiny tugboat sdkjlgfdskj and you find out ben is not only an other he's the LEADER

when lost was airing my passtime was literally rewatching episodes multiple times during the week to try and connect dots/develop theories about what was happening. i had a notebook and i would rewatch every episode two or three times before the next one aired, and write down notes kjldsfjkdskd but i can tell you something, it did not save me from being shook AT ALL, the plot twists hit me just as hard anyway 😂 i've never been very good at puzzling out mysteries on tv shows so as much theorising as i did, i was still able to be completely surprised by every single reveal, which i really liked!! also because i'm in australia, the episodes would air here like 6 months after the US for the first few seasons, so i would only talk about it with irl people (this was all pre twitter etc so it was v easy to avoid spoilers online, you simply didn't google the show!) but then once the season was over there was a lost forum that i would go on and i'd catch up on everyone's theories over the season, and spend the break between seasons talking to people and sharing ideas/thoughts about the end-of-season cliffhanger, i honestly miss that lol

PLEASE return and update me when your youtuber drops the next recap and you see what happens in s3 lol

#i was in highschool/early uni when it aired so i didn't have the schedule of an adult #and was thus able to dedicate so much time to lost lol #it was a big part of my life those six years i really loved it :)#anyway thank you so much for coming back to update me i'm so happy to hear from you again!#asks #anon

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frangipanilove · 2 years ago

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More About Birds...

When @emsee22 posted this about the potential connection between the Blue Heron and the Bennu Bird yesterday, it got my brain gears turning. For starters, I completely agree that the Blue Heron symbolism could be related to the mythology surrounding the Bennu Bird, and I felt pretty sure I had written about in a post at some time. I went thought my archive and struggled to find it, and eventually I realized that I had relayed the info to @twdmusicboxmystery who had made this post about it.

@emsee22 I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to piggyback off your post and offer my two cents about the Bennu Bird and how it relates to the Blue Heron Symbolism as it comes across in the show.

I think it was back in 2016 that I started researching the Sirius symbolism, in large parts because of the references to Robert Frost's poem One More Brevity in 4x13 Alone. The poem mentions Sirius, and from there on I fell down the rabbit hole that is ancient Egyptian mythology. I was already aware of possible ties between the Blue Heron painting from 4x12 Still and Egyptian mythology, in that it was speculated a heron could have been the original inspiration of the Phoenix myth.

I wrote about how Sirius and the Egyptian deity Osiris were connected in a series of absolutely terrible posts back in 2016, they're cringe beyond belief and I would't recommend anyone to go seeking them out. But my point is, the ties to Egyptian mythology in the show are real, and they've been present for a very long time.

I recently wrote about how I researched blue bird/blue heron symbolism after Noah's T-Shirt Theory, and among other things I discovered that a manufacturer of yellow school buses was named Blue Bird.

We've seen many of these yellow school buses through the years, but it wasn't really until episode 1x5 of Dead City, Stories We Tell Ourselves, that we saw it in a way that confirmed it was a symbol tptb wanted us to read into (here). And that only happened literally just a few months ago, years and years after the Blue Heron painting from Still.

Likewise, while researching Blue Bird symbolism after writing Noah's T-Shirt Theory, I came across a blue bird named Crowned Victoria Pigeon, and I realized it would fit perfectly into the Blue Bird symbolism, because it's also a perfect reference to Rick's police car, a Ford Crown Victoria Interceptor.

(I elaborate on the significance of car brand names in the Trunk Resurrection posts)

It was the perfect symbol, and yet it took years before tptb decided to use it. But eventually they did use it, in an episode of the spin off Tales of TWD, Amy/Dr. Everret. Amy sees a Crowned Victorian Pigeon, then remarks on how it used to be near-extinct, and now it has seemingly "come back" from extinction. Very "on the nose" resurrection symbolism if you ask me.

Which brings me back to the Bennu Bird. We haven't seen it in TWDU yet, at least not that I'm aware of. But like the Blue Bird bus company and the Crowned Victoria Pigeon, I'm confident that we'll get a reference to it at some point, because it's simply too perfect. And probably sooner rather that later, because tptb have been generous with their bird symbolism lately...

I suspect we'll see it as an artwork in the background, or perhaps as a detail in a random conversation (in TWD they often used Eugene to deliver seemingly random fun facts about things otherwise unrelated to anything going on in the scene. He would have been perfect for this type of thing, I can totally see him deliver a monologue on Egyptian mythology).

My point is, if tptb used the Blue Bird school bus reference and the Crowned Victoria Pigeon reference this far into the franchise, years after the first sighting of a Blue Heron painting, my gut feeling is that a Bennu Bird reference is right around the corner. So thanks @emsee22 for bringing it up!

#bethyl #daryl dixon #beth greene #team delusional #team defiance #beth x daryl #the walking dead #twd #twddd

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peachy-hwa · 3 years ago

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Practice Kisses with Stray Kids

literally months ago bestie oz made a tiktok about this and i have been thinking about it since so. here u all go :)

warnings: afab reader, vaginal sex, fingering, f receiving oral sex, m receiving oral sex, unprotected sex, edging, very light d/s dynamics

smut under the cut!

Chan

You pulled away from Chan slowly, head spinning as you took deep breaths to try to replenish the air that had been stolen from your lungs. He was gently running a hand along the inside of your thigh, and it was taking everything in you to keep from grinding down on him. Your position straddling him granted you control over the situation in theory, but he had your stomach twisting and your head foggy with mere kisses. There was no way you could let this just be for practice. This needed to be something real. As you opened your mouth to say something about it, he leaned forward and pressed another kiss to your lips. Within moments you were lost in it again, finally giving in and grinding against him as he pulled your bottom lip between his teeth. You let out a small whine, all thoughts of talking forgotten. At this point, you might as well see how far this could go before doing something crazy like confessing your massive crush.

Minho

Honestly, you didn’t even know how you reached this point. Minho above you, hips moving harshly to drive his cock further into you as you whined underneath him. You had already cum once, and the oversensitivity was almost killing you but you certainly weren’t going to ask him to stop. Nearly an hour ago, you had asked him to help you practice kissing. Now here you were, nearing your second orgasm of the night as one of your best friends fucked you so good you could barely get in a breath. Moments later Minho was pulling out and jerking off quickly over your stomach, letting out a moan that sounded very much like your name as he came. Once the aftershocks wore off, he moved to start putting his clothes back on. You sat up, a little confused, and reached for a tissue to clean yourself up. You softly asked him if everything was ok, and the only response you got was a quick line about not telling anyone about this, and then he was gone. You sighed, feeling a little hurt, but still. It gave you a secret thrill to be his dirty little secret.

Changbin

“Practice kissing? That seems a little silly doesn’t it?”

Changbin asked, tilting his head to the side and looking you up and down quickly. You insist that you just want to practice to make sure you’ll be good at it when the time comes to kiss someone for real, but both of you know that’s not really true. The two of you have been dancing around each other for months, and the dam is about to break. And break it does. Within 10 minutes you find yourself being kissed. Just, not exactly where you were planning to be kissed. Changbin has your legs spread and is eating you out like it’s all he’s ever wanted to do. You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good, and you can feel your orgasm approaching embarrassingly quickly, and you gasp out a moan as you finish, cuming on Changbin’s tongue. After licking you gently through the aftershocks, he looks up at you, face flushed and covered in your wetness. Yeah, this was definitely more than just practice.

Hyunjin

You lean back, gasping as you slow your pace yet again as you feel Hyunjin begin to tense underneath you. He lets out a whine, hips twitching frantically up into you. “Not yet Hyunnie. You said you were gonna make this last for hours, you don’t want to disappoint me do you?” You whisper into his ear. He lets out another whine and shakes his head. Taking a moment more to let him cool down, you think back to earlier tonight when you had come to Hyunjin and asked him to practice kissing with you, and he said that he would “practice” with you for hours. Turns out he needed a little help with that, hence you edging him for at least the fourth time moments before. Deeming him calmed down enough, you begin to slowly bounce up and down on his cock again, leaning forward to kiss him as you do. He lets out another pitiful whine into your mouth, and you clench around him in response. He’s so gorgeous like this.

Jisung

Being best friends with someone like Jisung was always a wild ride, but you could certainly say that the events of today had been the wildest to date. How had you even ended up here? Laying on your back, Jisung hovering above you as he stretched you on three of his fingers? Honestly, you didn’t have the brainpower to think about it. In fact, you were pretty sure your brain was fully shut down, mind full of how good Jisung was making you feel. And with his words. God, the things he was saying. He was whispering in your ear about how good you were going to feel around his cock, how lucky he was to get to teach you how to take him, how wet you were already, how hot it was that you were this worked up just from fingers. He stopped speaking to instead start kissing and biting at your neck, and it made even more pleasure zing down your spine. You hoped he was really liking this as much as it seemed because this was definitely going to need to become a regular thing.

Felix

This was it. This was paradise. You were slowly lowering yourself onto Felix’s cock as he ran his hand gently along your thigh, murmuring words of encouragement in his infuriatingly sexy voice. You were honestly worried you might cum right then, looking at Felix in front of you, his face flushed red and his lips parted to let out soft gasps between his words. You slowly started to move, and he tipped his head back and let out a low moan. Fuck. You brought a hand between your own legs to start rubbing gently at your clit, and that was a mistake. The next thing you knew you were shaking through one of the best, and fastest, orgasms of your life. “Ah fuck, you’re feeling that good already love?” Felix gasped out, clearly resisting the urge to fuck up into you as you tightened around him. He waited a moment, running his hand along your back soothingly as you came down from your high before asking “Do you want more darling?” And of course, you did.

Seungmin

When you asked your friend Seungmin to practice kissing with you, you never imagined it would end up like this: you on your knees in front of him, cautiously licking the tip of his cock that was hard and leaking for you. No matter how much you had imagined being with him in situations that were, ah, filthy, never in your wildest dreams did you think that Seungmin would actually suggest that you practice something more than kisses, like, for example, sucking dick. As you lean forward and wrap your lips around the head of his cock he groans and throws his head back, legs shaking. Having this kind of effect on a man like Seungmin? Yeah, you were addicted. Guess you’re just going to need much, much more practice.

Jeongin

You moved your hips gently against Jeongin’s as you kissed slowly down his neck, stopping to bite at the junction between his neck and shoulder. He let out a low whine, and his hips jerked up against yours, making you gasp. You could feel how hard he was already, and you felt yourself get wetter in response. “Innie, do you want to practice more than just kissing?” You gasped out, and he nodded frantically in response, reaching a hand beneath your shirt to stroke your side gently. Just that simple touch had you shaking slightly as you returned to covering his neck in hickeys. If you were doing this, you wanted to leave a mark, let everyone know about it.

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mandana-the-service-pup · 2 years ago

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You guys. My blood pressure has been incredibly normal for 5 days. And I can hardly believe it but my heart rate hasn’t gone above 120s at all in the last couple days. I still have a lot of symptoms like fatigue, pain, etc but I’m so bewildered. I literally just woke up one day w/o POTS like what?!

Average Day VS Today

Over the last yr my daily average max HR has increased from 130-150s to 170-190s. In October & December I had three separate episodes that felt like a heart attack but ekg didn’t show a heart attack. Blood pressure has been 140/90 (daily high) with a max measured at 197/96. Then I just wake up one day and my heart rate is 50-120s and my blood pressure is consistently 110s/80s and it’s not show any signs of getting worse?!?!

Here is my current theory:

Back in like 2018 I was really struggling with a lot of things. Besides HR problems I was having issues with nocturia (TMI // waking up multiple times to pee at night). My dr at the time put me on fludrocortisone. It helped retain some of my blood volume which slightly improved some of my POTS symptoms and stopped the nocturia. I completely forgot I even had that symptom until October of this year when a Cardiologist took me off the fludrocortisone. Besides worsening my typical symptoms, the nocturnia immediately came back and no amount of management was helping.

On Jan 14th? 2023 I decided to use my service dogs red laser therapy jacket (Spectra Laser Therapy XL jacket) to help with my back pain. Long story short the vet recommended red laser therapy for a muscle strain in Mandanas back and it has helped her immensely. I thought maybe my EDS was causing my lower back to hurt at night, so on a whim I decided to sleep on top of the laser jacket (low lvl laser with programmed intervals meant to be used for hours at a time) to see if it would help. Not only did it help the back pain which I had expected but since that first night of using it the nocturia has been completely gone. I’ve been able to go 2-3 days without using it without the nocturia coming back and it seems like the more days I use it the more permanent the results are becoming and the longer I can go between uses. I’ve been using it on & off for two weeks and five days ago I noticed my blood pressure & heart rate have started to stabilize.

The tricky part is that due to a ruptured fibroid that could have caused the heart crisis in Oct-Dec I had to go on birth control (Slynd) to try to get my bleeding under control. I was on it for a couple months and just stopped taking it. I didn’t see any change in my blood pressure or heart rate when I started Slynd so I don’t know why stopping it would suddenly fix everything but I wanted to mention this bc I stopped taking it after the nocturnia was solved but about the time the blood pressure & heart rate got better. Because there are multiple variables I have no way of knowing if it’s the red laser therapy that has helped or if its some how related to the short course of birth control.

I’m not trying to claim some magical cure, but y’all have watched me struggle every day for almost three years on Tumblr. I cannot ignore this sudden turn of events simply bc it’s too unbelievable. I’ll keep posting updates as they come. I’m afraid to get my hopes up but this proves my body is capable of functioning normally and that is incredibly encouraging.

Also, when I first got my diagnosis of POTS years ago I was told by the specialist that sometimes people just wake up cured and we have no idea why. It sounds like a fairytale but after the week I’ve had I’m beginning to believe it might be real.

#dysautonomia #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #ehlers danlos syndrome #hashimotosthyroiditis #gastroparesis #mast cell activation syndrome #chronic illness community #disabled community

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moondrop04 · 2 years ago

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So RWBY FNDM we got two episodes left of Volume 9 and pretty much the fates of Ruby, little, Neo and the world of the Ever After are literally up in the air.

With so much unease and unknowns for the future of team RWBY heading our way I thought we should have a bit of fun 😏.

We got two weeks left so how bout we join in on the mentality of the Ever-After and get a little “crazy” lol.

I would like to ask the FNDM, if you want, to bring out your craziest theories and head-canons of what y’all think will be revealed for Volume 9’s finale and of future volumes of RWBY 🤗.

I’ll start…..

For me I have been developing one hell of batsh*t crazy theory over the coarse of a month, since episode 5 dropped, all because of one character….Summer Rose.

Summer has been, to me, the ultimate enigma and mystery of the RWBY story since the first ever RED trailer several years ago. As the story of RWBY progressed we the FNDM have learned more bits and pieces of Summer’s story and have started to develop what kind of character she was. But as we learned more and more of who she was, the deeper her mysteries started become and of her involvement in the major plot of the story of RWBY.

Where did she come from?

What were her powers and abilities?

What was she truly like as a person?

Why did she leave her family and friends behind to face Salem alone?

What is her and Salem’s past involvement with each other?

What is her “connection” to the Ever-After?

So many questions still left unanswered……but volume 9 recently has given me some “food for thought” for one such questions…..Where did she come from?

And here is where my ludicrous head-canon/theory comes into play……What if it’s revealed that… Summer wasn’t originally from Remnant?

What if……Summer was originally from the Ever-After as an Afterian? And not just any Afterian but one of the “makers” of the Ever-After???

My thought process is like this…….when Alyx and Lewis finally reached the Tree they came upon a garden of flowers and butterflies under the tree, and in the middle of the garden stood a lone Rose, with white and red petals.

Alyx and Lewis were so in awe of the Rose’s beauty that they were surprised the Rose questioned who they were, for the Rose was Sentient and was connected to all of the roots of the world tree. Upon learning the siblings tales of their home of Remnant and of humanity, the Rose became intrigued.

For so long the Rose stood alone in the garden of the World tree, and for so long they stood as a ever present mother for all life in the Ever-After, that they became bored of their purpose and wished that one day to start life anew somewhere else.

The Rose saw an opportunity and told the siblings that it was possible for the tree to take them back home, but only if they plucked the Rose from the garden and took it with them to the tree to ascend together.

Alyx rushingly agrees and orders Lewis to grab the flower, and as he firmly grasped the Rose and gives it to his sister, the Curious Cat joined into the fray. The Rose forbade the Cat to not interfere with the siblings ascension but they outright refused, for their “curiosity” of Remnant got the better of them.

The Cat launches itself towards Alyx and the Rose and as it almost plunges its claws, Lewis blocks and holds onto the Cat. Lewis demanded Alyx to run towards the tree, with the Rose, and go home as he sacrifices himself to save his sister. Alyx distraught of Lewis’s sacrifice cowardly runs with the Rose towards the tree and eventually ascends together.

Alyx eventually opens her eyes and wakes up to see herself back home in Remnant, alone without no memory of her brother Lewis or of his sacrifice. Only tears and the pain in her chest were the only things that lingered in her hollow heart…

At the same time, in a forest somewhere on Remnant, alone stood a figure with a white cloak. The figure opens their eyes, for which feels like the first time, and looked upon their hands and eventually their whole self. With nothing but glee and wonder the figure broke out a smile and casts their gaze upon an unexpected morning sunrise.

New emotions fills their heart and soul as the sun shines down upon their new eyes of silver light and excitingly smiles as they look forward to the beginning of their new life and future….

With years and new experiences passes by Summer’s soul stirs once again, from where she is kept, as she feels the soul of her daughter in the realm of the Ever-After crying for help….

Talk about one hell of a crack theory 😄 but I kinda of feel proud about this one for some reason lol. I doubt it’s gonna happen but it’s always fun to make up a new story to add to one you already love 🤗.

So how bout you guys…….got anything crazy you like to share in this Ever-After? 🤷��‍♂️

#rwby #rwby volume 9 #rwby volume 9 spoilers #rwby speculation #too much pain in the tag #let’s bring some chaotic fun into the mix #gotta cope with the insanity somehow

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bahbahhh · 2 years ago

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The Killing Moon Author's Note

He asks if he remembers her.

He doesn’t answer.

There is quiet longing between them in moments when they are alone that Link still cannot place. He thinks he needs time but Hyrule won’t grant them peace. Especially not when there is a kingdom to rebuild and the Blood Moon still rises. But Link doesn’t want to rebuild, he just wants-

(Or, Breath of the Wild 1.5 for those who are tired of waiting.)

Rated E - Post BoTW/ TotK theories - 50,834 words - complete

Read The Killing Moon on Ao3

(Two months later, here it is!) Wow. I cannot believe this story is finally done. I started writing this before so much of what defines me and my life today even happened…I look back at 2017 and the things that used to excite me, bother me, worry me have shifted and changed so significantly…and yet LoZ remains

There have been a few games in my lifetime that have touched me this way, becoming sources of comfort during challenging or stressful times, never losing their luster. (“Seriously, you are playing that again, B?” ) The idea for The Killing Moon came following a frantic explosion of creative energy after I finished BotW for the first time. I didn’t want it to be over. I remember diving into fanfiction at the time, hungry for anything and everything that would keep the story alive.

Then I decided to write a multi-chapter, lore-heavy, character-study of a fanfiction. As my first stab at fanfiction. Because, why not.

I churned out several chapters REALLY fast (I think 9??) and then my life got busy, my attention shifted, and before I knew, it had been years.

I would occasionally think about the story, sometimes making a mental note to go back and delete it, only to forget about it again…To be honest, I was nervous to look back at my writing and get stuck….I had had a vague outline of where I was going that was lost, so all I had in my head was a final confrontation under Hyrule Castle (more on this later).

Following a replay of BotW and the 2021 E3…I decided to do a massive edit, removing chaptering 2-9 completely, and reworking the plot to align more cohesively with what we received about the sequel. The story had a clear endpoint and it took off from there.

Major changes/themes/story notes

[MAJOR CHANGE] the tense:

I switched the ENTIRE story from past to present tense (I am positive I've slipped up here and there…I did not have a beta and, alas, I am not an editor…truly, this was written in the sleepy moments I get at the end of the day when my kids are in bed).

The Killing Moon was never meant bring much resolution and I felt present tense lent itself better to the suspense and tension I wanted present throughout with this in mind. Also, from the beginning, this story has been primarily about Link beginning the process of unpacking some of his trauma. I wanted a chance to deepen my version of Link POV and intensify the complexity of emotions he might face after all he has endured…I wanted to honor the complexity living with trauma. At times, it was meant to feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable and confusing. He is actively remembering his past in this story, specifically recalling personal details no one else can give him. Even Zelda is limited in what she can tell him about himself and as Link says, it feels wrong (even though she would gladly do it) to hold her accountable for chronicling his life. So if he wants it, he must endure it.

[THEME] loss of knowledge to time/making decisions on incomplete information:

I also wanted a tense that promoted unreliability…this story is very much a guessing game. For us (the fandom) with the sequel coming, but also the characters themselves…literally working back from the almost-end of the world where many of the information-keepers died and records were destroyed/lost.

BotW is a post-apocalyptic Hyrule. The “golden age” is long gone. Even the “robust” Hyrule we see in the events of 100 years ago do not hold a candle to what is alluded to exist in Hyrule 10,000 years prior. There is little/no mention of KEY elements in LoZ lore because they have been lost to time, purposely concealed, and then forgotten over the ages.

“Goddess, don't tell me you’ve forgotten your sacred charge? “A pause. “The power without equal. The hidden treasure of Sky Keep? Broken by Twilight’s touch? Fa ha ha…The birth of the Calamity has even faded into myth, hasn't it?...Now give me what I ask in return for the secrets of the Triforce.” (Horned statue, Chapter 4)

In the Killing Moon, first time they have ever heard about the Triforce is from a demon.

This Link and Zelda, in a way, resemble the first version of themselves. They have very little guidance. The history they are working through is incomplete and potentially inaccurate (maybe even skewed by those who recorded it) and yet, they must face destiny all the same. As we saw in BotW, destiny doesn’t wait for you to be prepared.

[THEME] the burden of destiny/ trauma across lifetimes:

Jacob Geller provides a beautiful narration to the theme of darkness in the Zelda series as a whole and does a magnificent job of summarizing what sets BotW apart. “It is a game in which each acre, every abandoned stable and crumbled temple and forgotten spring is a monument to your failures.”

I didn’t come upon this video until very recently, but I feel like it captures the essence of the the "big picture stuff" I was aiming for with Link. The first scene I wrote for The Killing Moon was actually his panic attack in chapter 3:

"Nothing - left of me," he continues in a desperate whisper. He can’t read her face. "If we have to - again," His hands are sweeping in front of him, tracing his broken speech in patterns that feel true. “I won't come back. My body but I-”

A new resolve takes hold of him. He doesn’t need her to just hear him -he wants her word. He’s in her face now. She takes him up in her hands again, and furiously thumbs away the tears from his cheeks. He is supposed to be dead. He whimpers and dips his head down, chewing, chewing, chewing on the words.

"Not-not even sure I'm fully alive!"

To die (I know the jury is out on whether he actually dies or not, but in The Killing Moon, he does die 100 years ago), come back without your memories (essentially the stuff that make us who we are), into a world that has seen generations since you closed your eyes, and be thrust back into a destiny you have already failed…and then the WEIGHT of your past lives…thinking about the overstimulation alone breaks my heart. I feel it in my gut.

Now that Link has finally done it, “completed” the task he was charged with 100 years ago, what happens to the weight of duty when the war is won? What happens to a weapon? Does he get put on a mount somewhere, too? Does he turn to dust?

He can’t even figure that out because of the inescapability of his fate. In the first chapter, he is called to destiny a THIRD time in a single lifetime.

He is also trying to make sense of this with another person. Someone he learns he once loved, who still loves him, who he understands has danced with him in these roles over many lifetimes.

Is there any part of this soul that is his alone? (Chapter 7)

How much of this was manufactured? Does that even matter to him now? Can he allow himself to have feelings? In BotW, we learn 100 years ago Link felt so burdened by duty, he stopped speaking (in The Killing Moon, it is a total loss of the already very little verbal speech he had as an individual who is/was selectively mute.) Now, faced with another “calamity” of sorts, it is his feelings toward Zelda, in particular, he struggles with. And she as well -can they allow this when they know what is at stake? There is a push and pull intentionally through the story, the impact of severely ingrained GUILT for wanting more than what they are destined for. Wanting each other more than anything.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve heard stories about your travels, all you’ve done for everyone else since you woke up. It doesn't feel like my Hyrule anymore. It feels like yours.”

“It can be yours, too.” His voice frays at the end. He sets his hands on her thighs. Something burns in his throat.

“It’s OK. I’m at peace with this. Really, I am. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect them. For you.” (Chapter 10)

Also a feeling that their timing is off. Their specific time together, that they were supposed to have, has past (I think we see it in AOC tbh). They’ve lost that to destiny, too.

[MAJOR CHANGE] Big Bad

"A Spring is created only when a divine spirit departs from Hyrule." A mischievous smile. “What is born from shadow? A Void. The Blood Moon is a harbinger of what’s waiting beyond. See, look here-” (Hino, Chapter 3)

In the original draft of this story, before 2019 E3, Void was the name of the "Big Evil" in this Hyrule. It was going to be revealed as another title for Demise, trapped inside Ganondorf who was sealed under Hyrule Castle. I shit you not, lol. His sealing was going to have been flawed somehow and the malice or essence that escaped is how we get Calamity Ganon. That is why in chapter 7 the movements of CG in the footage are “off”. Basically a dead spirit carcass being possessed by the Big Evil because, fuck, he’s not going to die that easily after 10,000 years and then another 100 more of being this close.

When we got the teasers, Void became a description for the concealed bit of history. I still wanted to play with the themes of parasites/possession and added in the possibility that after his time with Zelda, a silver of the human he was started to come through. You can read my thoughts on the battery theory, which heavily influenced the connection between Ganondorf, Link and Zelda in this story.

“All three or none at all.” (Master Sword, Chapter 7).

Ganondorf too is trapped by his destiny and how TERRIBLE it is to be on THAT side of it. Imagine if your destiny was the soul of not a Hero or a Goddess, but a demon. What if your destiny was to be the one who will Eat the World? And what if you loved Hyrule? What if Ganondorf was a man of the people, who was trying to do right and the Royal Family tried to ERASE him from history by sealing him away and concealing everything from the records?

“We are bound too tightly in this fate. We’ve been fighting for a long time. More than a century. It was us ten thousand years ago. It has been the three of us time and time again. Link, when I was in the darkness, sometimes I felt like he was a part of me. And that part was lonely and scared and so tired. I think he wants us to save him like we saved you. Is that crazy?”

I am admittedly pretty obsessed with the idea Zelda feels connected to Ganondorf.

[STORY NOTES] Zonai

Mentioning the Zonai came in the rewrites. Not even on my radar in 2017 when I started The Killing Moon. Clearly, I am firmly in the-Zonai-play-a-big-role-in-the-past-and-TotK-camp. But I didn’t think it was realistic for Link and Zelda to figure out everything about them in this story.

[STORY NOTES] Luminous Stones

Another addition to the rewrite. I became obsessed with all the raw luminous-stone looking crystals in the teasers and ran with the detail about them rumored to contain souls of dead. It did not make it into the story but I did have tons of notes about how these luminous stones might be souls of Zonai or the army of the spear-wielding rider in the pictographs/ petroglyphs and their energy is part of the seal.

[STORY NOTES]Losing the Master Sword

The threat of this was always in the original story but it was emphasized more in the rewrite.

The original story had Link’s nightmare in which the Sword is gone (it was actually written to be symbolic of LINK “becoming” the Master Sword in the nightmare, that his body is the weapon, to be bent and broken and forged again and again with the Shrine of Resurrection). Hyrule Forest–resting place of the Master Sword–was destroyed in the original story. It fits well with TotK. I do wonder if the Lost Woods will be inaccessible for the game or for a part of the game.

[Fun-ish facts]

I love to connect all the LoZ stories and overiously do so with direct references to past lives (this story is SS, TP, Oot-heavy). But there are more indirect references in The Killing Moon I tried to sneak in:

"Wind waker" - Stamella shroom tonic for soldiers (Wind Waker)

The three comrades from Link's past (Colson, Medin and Jayde) are called "four swords" by their commanding officer. (Four Sword Adventures)

This is dangerous.” Link starts.

“Take this.” Zelda hands him her torch before stepping further into the cave. (Chapter 11)

(A spin on "It's dangerous to go alone, take this!" The Legend of Zelda 1986)

Thank you to those who have stayed with the story. Thank you to those who are new. I do this for fun and I can't tell you how much it means to me every time I get a notification someone took time out of their day to leave kudos or write a comment or I see the story was bookmarked. Comments/questions always welcome. I am planning to go back and do some minor (mostly grammar) edits but I already have some ideas for a continuation once TotK is out.

I just love this fandom.

#bahbahhhwrites #loz botw fanfic #botw fan fic #long fic #author's note #the killing moon #legend of zelda #loz #botw #loz fanfiction #loz fandom #totk theory #totk fanfic #tears of the kingdom

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liquid-luck-00 · 4 years ago

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Where There Is Change

Discovery

@maribat-bdbwm

So I will not be following the prompt days at all. If any fall on the right day it is by chance. All of them will be written but not by the calendar order.

Without further ado.

~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time Marinette would have bent over backwards, dropped everything, and would never have questioned her friends. But now she was turning fourteen. She has been fighting Hawkmoth for three years, with no end in sight. Her friends, if she could still call them that, behind Lila's lies and followed her like sheep. You can only push a person so far until they break.

That was what happened to Mari.

She was pushed to do dresses, suits, casual wear, and banners with little to no notice for free, without even a thank you. She was made to plan and make baked goods and food for bake sales and fun raisers for class trips, picnics, and parties that she could not attend. They spoke to her condescendingly as if she was stupid, honeyed words to guilt her to do everything while they did nothing and reaped rewards.

At the end of her 7th year, she put in a signed request (by herself and Mendeleiev) to transfer into Mendeleiev's class. But surprise surprise it was denied. Bustier, her homeroom teacher last year denied her transfer, because she wanted to keep all her students the same.

Fine if this was how she wanted to be, well she had nothing left to give.

You can only give so much before becoming empty when you never receive anything.

The first thing she did was step down from class representative. "Miss Bustier?" she stood up from her seat in the back.

"Yes." said teacher smiled at her.

"I am renouncing my title of class representative, effective immediately." she announced shocking the teacher.

Her ever present smile faltered. "Alright, would the vice representative like to take the position?" She scanned each face, but no one stood up or spoke.

"There has not been a vice since my first month three years ago, Miss." The color drained from the teacher's face.

"Oh well, you will need to continue until we have an election next week." she smiled again.

"No." Her voice turned steely. She picked up three bursting folders and dropped them on the desk. "The white folder is student medical records, allergies, cumulative extracurriculars and birthdays. The orange folder holds field trip and fundraiser applications, guidelines for applications as well as locations each student is banned from listed under the student and the location's reason. The black folder has graded homework, tests, quizzes, papers, and projects you gave me to grade. As well as lesson plans and homework you had me assemble for you."

"But... but..." Miss Bustier stood shocked, gaping between Mari, to the folders, then the rest of the class.

"Like I said effective immediately." Marinette turned and was immediately stopped by a blonde.

"Mari, please reconsider." Adrien plodded blocking her from ascending.

"Pfft. And why should I fucking do that Agreste." she side stepped him and climbed the stairs.

Eyes stared at her, as if it was the first time seeing her. In a way it was, since she had no fucks left to give to those who would step all over her.

The girls wanted dresses. She gave fee rates, appointment times and estimated finishing date. Some took her up on her like Rose, Juleka, and Alix. Kagami and even Chloe started requesting commissions.

The same with banners and suits for the boys.

Sweets from the bakery, they placed their orders and paid like everyone else.

This helped her more than most would think. Her grades and attendance improved because she no longer dropped things at the drop of a hat.

Two weeks prior, Hawkmoth went silent, now almost a year later, Paris went back to normal. But she didn't. She became Paris' Ice Princess. She kept everyone at an arms length, her trust was hard to earn, her words cut like a knife and her eyes bore daggers. Yet as both Marinette and Ladybug she is the definition of calm, collected, and serenity. Something snapped a long time ago and no one knows how or what to fix.

"We are done." Sabine was exasperated again. "We got in contact with your biological father, and he is taking you in."

"Alright." She answered, knowing best to respond than to stay quiet.

Sabine began talking again but she only half listened, it was the same as every other night after all.

---

Bruce was done just done.

Apparently his very own system, which is in theory completely perfect, is anything but, because he just figured out, he has a daughter. An adoption agency apparently had him listed as the father of a child roughly 16 years ago, that he had completely no idea of. The mother apparently wanted to keep it secret and gave up the child not even listing herself which was odd. So, the adoption agency never made that information public. However, now he’s being called by said adoption agency and the parents of the girl who is apparently his daughter.

He thought Damian was the only one apparently not.

He is currently sitting in front of the Bat-Computer nursing one hell of an incoming headache, praying that none of his boys come down and see this.

He has a daughter that is older than Damian and knowing his son he will throw a fit over this. That his claim is the only blood child is literally going down the drain.

On top of that Bruce knows almost nothing about his daughter. Sure, he looked up her and her parents other than a few contests and school there was nothing on her. No social media, it was as if it was erased from the system. Her contacts seemed almost sparse for a girl her age, that being said he does not have a good reference for that.

The fact that not even his system was able to pick up on her says a lot more than you might think. When her parents came into contact with him, he thought it was a joke, but they held firm and even sent a DNA sample of their own daughter. He almost didn’t even cross test with his own, he was disgusted with how these people treated their child this way.

Yet here he is, he tested it and he was a biological match.

The parents are transferring her custody over to him, but he doesn’t even know this girl.

Life is never dull for the the greatest detective. Even when life seems to pull things out underneath him.

So, let’s just hope he can meet his daughter while ensuring that his sons not find out before he can get a grasp on the situation.

He continued to rub at his temples and the bridge of his nose trying to lessen the pain of this migraine which was sure enough going to set in. The only reason he’s getting gray hairs is because of his children.

Now to find out what the next one is like.

~~~~~~~~~~

Permanent Taglist: @itsmeevie01 @adrestar @miraculouspenta @vixen-uchiha @animegirlweeb @jumpingjoy82 @thedragonbug @astoriaandroses @icerosecrystal @t1dwarrior-of-earth @moon5606 @zalladane @midnightrosecrystal @myazael

#mbdbwm2021 #mdcu marinette #mdcu bruce wayne #bio!dad bruce wayne #maribat class salt #maribat #dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #miraculous x dc #mlb x dc

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arvinsescape · 4 years ago

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could you please write something like tom and actress reader obviously like each other but they haven't taken it further yet bc reader is scared it will mess up their friendship but they're still flirting with each other at comic con panels or interviews for spiderman? 🙏

Flirts.

A/N: I love this, thank you so much for sending it in and thank you for your patience in me getting back to you. I hope you enjoy 💕

Warnings: Suggestive content.

You and Tom had been close for years, ever since you met on the set of Civil War, you had a close bond. He was there for some hard points in his life and vice versa, you kept each other grounded. Most people thought you were together, theories that you'd been together for a long time, engaged even, the two of you would laugh it off.

Of course you were in love with him, you had feelings for him, had for a long time. But you had such a close bond that you just couldn't jeopardize, not for anything. You also didn't wanna make things awkward because you had a few films left to film together.

You had a very flirty relationship and this extended to interviews, Zendaya had asked multiple times why you weren't together.

"Z, I've been over this." You groaned, you were in your trailer having a few drinks together.

"Yeah and I'd understand if it wasn't so obvious that you were into each other." She said with a laugh.

"I don't know," you groaned. "Why are you hassling me, he hasn't said or done anything either." You tried to end the conversation.

"I'm talking to you about it, I don't need to talk to Tom, it's so obvious how he feels, no one needs to ask."

"Z, please can we not?"

"You are so close though."

"Which is why I don't wanna ruin it."

"Y/N, I'm close to Tom but you two are different."

"So Y/N? Celebrity crush?" The interviewer said.

"I would have to say Tom." You said and Tom looked at you with a wide smile.

"I knew it." He fist pumped the air. "You're mine to." He said with a wink.

"Oh sorry, I meant Hardy." You smirked and Tom almost visibly deflated.

"Well that's my dreams shattered." Tom said and everyone laughed. "I feel emotional wounded."

"Aw it's okay, I'll keep in my heart that I'm your crush."

"I changed my mind."

"No take backs Tom."

"I have a question for Y/N." A fan said as they stood up at comic con. "How do you do all those scenes with Tom when he's topless, do you get distracted?"

"Oh massively, all the time. It's a wonder these films ever get finished." You answered as Sebastian laughed.

"In between all the flirting these two do, I agree, it's a wonder we ever finish filming." Anthony chimed in and you laughed. "You should see her face when Tom walks around set, just love eyes all the time." He added.

"That's good to know." Tom laughed as he placed a hand on your knee which sent the fans into a frenzy.

"Like this one can talk," Sebastian said. "He literally looks at her like no one else exists, I am convinced they are dating and it's the best kept secret ever."

"Are you?" The host asked the two of you and everyone watched as you both smiled at each other.

"No." You answered at the same time. "Just really close." Tom added and your heart did a flip, he didn't use the word 'friends' like you expected him to, like he usually did.

"You know, we had to do this scene and Y/N here decided to do her own stunt and somehow knocked herself out," Anthony started and you groaned. "And this one?" He said as he clapped Tom's shoulder. "Wow, you should've seen him, you'd have thought she'd nearly died."

"I was just making sure she was okay." Tom defended himself.

"It's because he's in love with me obviously." You said as you leant your head on Tom's shoulder and he put his head on top of yours.

"Secrets out." He teased, placing a kiss to your head as you laughed and playfully shoved him.

"So who's seen Y/N's recent film?" The interviewer asked and almost all the cast raised their hands. "Because there was a lot of her in that." He added.

"Tom's seen it loads, but he always watches it alone." Anthony teased as you laughed.

"It was a good film!" Tom said in defence.

"Oh yeah? Which bit is your favourite." Anthony asked.

"You know the bit with the-"

"Y/N's sex scene?" Anthony interjected as Tom laughed embarrassed.

"Yeah that bit was pretty good." Tom said through a laugh, both of your hands where now covering your face in embarrassment as you shook your head.

"So are you both aware that people write fanfiction about the two of you?" The interviewer asked and Tom burst into a fit of giggles, you kept a straight face as you looked at the interviewer.

"Yes."

"Oh really? How'd you know?"

"I write it." You said as a laugh escaped your throat.

"Based on real life events." Tom added and you both burst into laughter as his head fell on your shoulder and a hand rested on your thigh, high enough to get your heart racing.

"Have you ever read any?" The interviewer asked, amused look on his face.

"Oh loads." You said sarcastically.

"It's just about the only reading I do aside from reading a script." Tom snorted.

"You and Tom are close?" Graham Norton asked as he pulled up a picture you'd taken and posted to Instagram.

"Yeah, we are." You said with a smile.

"Be honest here, is there anything else going on?"

"No." You shook your head.

"Seriously?"

"Yup. Just really close."

It'd been a long day of promo, everyone was quite tired. You yawned as you sat on the couch in the dressing room, Tom joining you.

"You tired?" He asked as he looked at you.

"Yeah." You yawned as you held back another yawn.

"Come here." He said as he coaxed you to lay your head in his lap, something you'd done a thousand times. What you weren't expecting were Tom's hands massaging your scalp and the way you instantly relaxed into it.

"You should get some sleep." He said as he lent over to look at you and gave you a kiss on the forehead, yet another action you weren't prepared for. You were to tired to fight or question it as you felt yourself succumb to sleep.

"Now, Y/N L/N," Graham started with. "The last time you were on my sofa I felt lied to." He said and you placed your face in your hand, knowing what was coming as you heard him laugh.

"Did you?" You squeaked out as Graham pulled up a picture from the other night.

"Yes, now if we study this picture for a second. Daniel Radcliffe what would you say is going on here?" Graham teased as you fanned a hand over your face to cool your rising temperature.

"I mean it looks like Y/N's kissing Tom Holland but I could be wrong." Daniel shrugged as the audience and the other celebs burst into laughter.

"It does doesn't it. Y/N, you told me you were close and nothing else was going on but can you tell me what was happening here?" He asked as you looked at him, smiling in embarrassment.

"I, we, I don't." You stuttered out.

"Leave the poor girl alone, she looks like she's about to combust." Emily Blunt defended you as you shook your head and took a deep breath.

"I technically didn't lie, not when I was last here. We really were just friends then." You said.

"So you're not now?" Graham clarified.

"Sorry?" You tried to dodge the question.

"Just friends, you're not just friends now?" He said with that signature grin.

"No." You huffed in defeat as everyone erupted into squeals and cheers.

"When did this happen?" He pried and you smiled.

"Around eighteen months ago." You clarified.

"And who made the first move?"

"He did. Well, no, I suppose we both did." You said. "It was after the last movie came out. We had a bit of an argument about something and the next thing I know we were kissing, I'm not really sure who kissed who first." You said and Graham laughed.

"But now you're official?" Graham asked and you nodded.

"I mean they've been in love for years, trust me. I'm happy they decided to give into it." Robert Downey Jr said from next to you as you smiled shyly. He was here promoting a different movie and it had been good too see him again.

"So is the other rumour true?" Graham asked. To say you'd been together for eighteen months you kept things pretty quiet, both being private people. You never denied the rumours but you hadn't properly confirmed them either.

"What rumour?" You asked, knowing exactly which one he was probably talking about.

"You know," he said as he held his cards up to his face, feigning being discreet. "The engagement rumours?" He said as you placed a hand on your face to hide your embarrassed laugh and smile, holding your left hand up for the audience to see and when they did, they erupted yet again into a fit of screams and cheers.

#tom holland fluff #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x reader #tom holland blurb #tom holland x actress!reader

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

Text

earned it [07]

Gojo Satoru is a firm believer that if you work hard for it then you shall earn it. But on the other side, he’s not unfamiliar with his own sins. He also believes that there is punishment due for his sins as he’s earned it.

cw. explicit smut, pool sex, slight angst, i miss naoya :(, mafia business, mentions of blood, lots of drama, mentions of death and murder

note. IDEK ANYMORE. lmao anyways do you guys want faster updates or do you guys want to wait? i can finish the series next week and then we can move on to white lies 😈

series masterlist

The three of you were seated back at your tables, where the whole dancing fiasco had thankfully ended. Satoru noticed nothing of your behavior – either he was really clueless, or you were a damn good actor – the guy was much too invested with the files Nanami was currently showing.

For a moment, you let yourself loosen as you took a deep breath. The account was much more important than whatever Nanami was scheming.

“I think I may have found where the real money is, or treasure, we should say, since none of us can really figure out what the Zen’ins might be hiding. And from the looks of it, considering Naoya had no idea about what his family kept prior to his death, this is something only his elders wanted to know about,” Nanami pinched the bridge of his nose, sliding a photo of an unsuspecting white manor that you hadn’t seen in a long time. “And it’s been right under our nose the whole time.”

“That’s one of our islands,” you replied with a furrowed brow, “Are you saying you traced the source back there? But that’s impossible, we haven’t used that island for years and even Naoya told me he was going to sell it because it was of no use to us. It’s not on commercial waters and there’s no local people around either. That island is in the middle of nowhere.”

“This is exactly why it’s the best place to hide things – because no one would ever suspect this seemingly harmless middle of nowhere could contain their assets.”

Satoru, who’d kept silent the whole time, inched closer to you. His cologne wafting off to you eased you for a moment – purely because it was familiar – and even though you despised saying it, you were thankful he was here. Currently, the blond man posed a bigger threat, the difference being that Nanami actually had leverage against you while you had more control over Satoru.

You sighed. If Naoya was here, things would’ve been so much better. He never lost his composure in figuring things out on his own. But now that he was gone, now that he’d never be coming back, you had be responsible for his sake, but mostly for yours.

“Take a look at this. The nearest land is a small, uncharted city from Brazil’s outskirts. I’ve been illegally transporting weaponry and firearms somewhere near there since our family started the business – it’s the easiest place to sneak in things without getting caught. All you need to do is pay a few fishermen and they’ll easily transport our load from one place to another, no questions asked,” Satoru announced, seemingly deep in thought as he rubbed his chin. “It would make sense if the Zen’in clan elders found this place useful too. It’s basically a hot site for criminals.”

“But we don’t operate this way. The Zen’in elders are too prideful to handle transactions like this. They would’ve chosen a more…discreet yet formal way of handling things.”

“How does an underwater passage sound?” Nanami pushed the other photo aside to reveal a blurry snap of what seemed like a tunnel under the sea. On the surface, it looked just like an abandoned rig, but it stretched too long, the exterior already covered in mold and seaweed. “About 80 years ago, the Zen’in Clan leader at that time was often heavily targeted by their enemies in business that they preferred to travel under the sea. If my theory is correct, right under that island would be another base of some sort that allows the clan leaders move from one country to another while remaining undetected.”

“So that’s how they easily sent their own shit overseas…”

“It would be a very sound conclusion to assume so,” Nanami crossed his arms at Satoru’s musings, “However, that’s all I know. All I can tell you is where I last got the signal for the source – which is about seven years ago, and a few months right after Toji Zen’in was disowned by his family when Naobito took over. It would also be near around the time he met his wife and had his child, which would increase the possibilities that he may have stored something in this island for his son’s future. Again, it could be money, gold – we don’t really know,” he nodded your way, a sense of finality behind those blue eyes that had now looked so menacing when once it brought you comfort – reassurance. “How you get there is all up to you.”

Something didn’t feel right.

“If the elders really wanted to hide this place, they wouldn’t have passed the rights of the island into my inheritance when Naoya died. They surely wouldn’t have wanted me to find out about this.”

“I could think of two things,” Satoru proposed, “It’s either they trust your potential enough as the clan leader to replace Naoya, or they didn’t think you’d care anyway.”

You let his words sink in. The clan elders have never bothered much with you. They were too prideful about “saving face” and “keeping up images” that they couldn’t even let a word of insult slip past their lips under the belief they were above that. But you weren’t stupid; they had never approved of your marriage to Naoya. An outsider like you, suddenly becoming a part of their family when they could’ve had your husband marry a family friend?

They may have kept silent about their dislike to you, but one way or another, they were going to take action for it.

Knowing the Zen’ins, being a Zen’in, you knew there was one thing they hated the most: not being in control.

“Neither,” you finally concluded while mumbling down at your lap. The theory was hazy, incomplete, based only on mere emotions but slowly, you were coming together to piece it. You felt Satoru turn your way, his large hand caressing your knee as if coaxing the words out of you. “It’s neither. Naoya’s elders…they never liked me. It’s been made pretty clear to me that I’m dispensable without my husband, and I will never be a Zen’in in their eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked me to give up all my inheritance from Naoya because I’m not related to them by blood.”

The silence in the table stretched.

No matter how grandiose the hotel restaurant may be, you felt suffocated in that seat. How didn’t you realize it sooner? You were in a land that stretched past your territory, with both men accompanying you people you couldn’t wholeheartedly trust, while your husband rotted away back at home – probably covered in dust and not even given a proper burial like he deserved.

There was only one way out of this, to put an end to everything. It would prove to be a daunting task, but you didn’t have a choice. No, in fact, this was your only choice if you wanted to survive.

Satoru’s voice softened upon seeing the grimness of how you turned mum. “I’ll follow you wherever you go. I promise to help you in finding out whatever is in there,” he met your eyes; yours filled with contempt, with fear, with desperation, and his filled with regret. “It’s the least I could do…after everything I’ve done to you.”

You took a deep breath.

You couldn’t lie to yourself. There was no way you could trust him with his empty promises. He’d shown enough times that he wasn’t a man of his word, and you’d be a fool to fall for it again. However, Nanami’s glance was curious and suspecting, hiding his true colors with an innocent gesture of sipping his wine. He may seem unbothered and only here to ‘help’, but this man was cunning, possibly more so than Naoya could ever be, and one wrong move would be similar to stepping on a land mine.

Satoru received no response from you, and soon the three of you were standing outside the hotel’s lobby to escort Nanami back where he came from. The dinner was tense, so much so that you’d unknowingly been clutching Satoru’s bicep the whole time.

He tapped your shoulder, bringing you back to life as he gestured to his phone. “Sorry, it’s Geto.”

“Oh,” you muttered and stepped away from him, feeling your heart sink in your chest as you watched him retreat behind the glass doors. Beside you, Nanami snickered.

“Made up your mind, agent?” he taunted, “This is your final chance to prove yourself. Gather enough intel for us to intrude whatever that mighty clan is hiding underneath that island, surrender Gojo to us, and we’ll give you everything as promised.”

You faced him with fiery eyes, prepared for whatever he’d throw your way when he showed you that cursed red coin again. Realizing its power, the true meaning it held, you immediately shut your lips. It must’ve satisfied to know he was the one in charge here, and how could he not be when your life was literally at the palm of his hands, your days growing more numbered if you didn’t follow everything he asked for?

If you had just…if you had just done everything the Organization had asked you for, you wouldn’t have been here. You wouldn’t have felt this torn.

Nanami flipped the coin before tucking it into his pocket, sending one last salute your way. He hailed a cab and disappeared afterwards, leaving you alone to ponder over the consequences of your actions, your emotions. For the first time in his life, Naoya had lied to you.

He wasn’t correct when he said you were strong.

Because after all this time, you still held onto something that you should’ve let go of a long time ago, and you had nothing but your weak, sensitive, hopeless heart to blame for. Said hurdle appeared not long afterwards, his touch warm on your shoulder as he gazed at the empty spot beside you.

“Oh, Nanami left,” he noted, turning your shoulders to him until you were completely exposed. There was no more hiding from him, or more like you didn’t have enough energy to. You felt dull, tiredness lining your eyes and lips pressed into a flat line. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Ten days. That was how much you’ve wasted your time here in Milan, and you weren’t even remotely close to figuring things out. Your resources were much more limited the farther you were from the Zen’in Estate, and your lawyer was a family one, meaning they held more loyalty to the actual Zen’ins instead of law-affiliated people like you were.

Simply put, you were all alone to solve this by yourself.

Satoru promised to help, but he kept disappearing in the morning along with Geto. You never asked where they went or what they did; it simply didn’t matter anymore.

You would only spend hours locked in your room as you researched everything you could on your private island near Brazil. Just like Satoru said, it seemed like the perfect place to hide things for the spot seemed remote enough to offer privacy for the family’s getaway. You could somewhat recall Naoya proposing once to take you there for your honeymoon, but business got in the way, and it wasn’t like you truly trusted him then to spend such an intimate with him that you said no.

Sighing, you put all the papers away. Not even a single clue led you to what could be possibly be there, but there was an underwater passage. The fact the Zen’ins was capable of building that made you wonder just what the extent of their powers and influence stretched to, and you contemplated for a bit if you could hold that same ability now that you had his name.

Whatever was there, you would look for it.

Your mission was clear – the success of it would determine the fate of your life. Find out what they’re hiding, surrender Satoru Gojo to the Organization, and then everything would be over.

It sounded simple, yet your heart knew it wasn’t. Naoya died with the confidence of his trust over you, the trust you worked so hard to earn. But wasn’t that point? You needed him to trust you for you to be able to pull this mission off, but things happened, emotions and conscience got in the way, and you banged your knuckles on the table until your ring throbbed on your finger.

You just wanted it all to end. You never meant to hurt Naoya, never meant to betray anyone, but it fucking pissed you off that Naoya wasn’t the real problem. He wasn’t the one holding you back.

With not much thought to your next actions, you slipped past the guards and into the pool that had long been closed since 10PM. Being at your room’s tub reminded you of memories you’d rather forget, and you slowly undid your robe and stepped out of your underwear before dipping in the cold, freezing water.

It felt good. It may have been temporary, but the numbing bite of the water helped you feel more placated. Even for a little while, it was nice to not worry about anything. There were no titles, no mafia drama, no anything, just you and the water that you would’ve easily fooled yourself to be simply enjoying your little trip in Milan until –

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. You had me worried sick,” You sighed. Of course. Opening your eyes, you raised a brow as Satoru towered over you, a standard hotel towel in his arms. He’d change out of his suit and into cotton shorts and a shirt this time around, possibly on his way to sleep when he realized the room was empty. With no energy to deal with him, you swam away from the man, earning a groan in response. “What the hell is your problem? You’ve been acting weird ever since Nanami came. Listen, if this is about that island, you don’t have to worry too much about anything. I have enough people and resources to help you in every step of the way.”

You ignored him. After everything that happened, what was there to talk about anymore? Even if you told him everything, he might not understand.

So you swam in the middle of the pool, thankful that it was dark enough from the maintenance shutting the lights off that Satoru struggled to find you. However, you’d underestimated him because soon you heard the splashing of the water, and you were harshly tugged by the wrist before Satoru cornered you at the edge of the pool.

He was breathing hard; both of you were, and tried to push past his chest, only to be met with a solid plane of muscle that wouldn’t budge. You sighed and turned away from him, covering your exposed chest with your arms.

“Whatever Naoya is looking for…you’ll find it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m serious,” the scorn in his tone had been so biting you turned back to him, about to hit him with something, scold him for something, but your words died down in your throat before you even had the chance to.

Satoru hadn’t been demanding. His face, illuminated by the moonlight, made his azure eyes twinkle like stardust exploding. Once in your life, you found so much comfort into staring at such beauty, but that was when everything was still a perfect lie. Funny how the truth ruined everything for its darkness, and you could only look back at him weakly, throat running dry from all the emotions that threatened to pour out of you.

Regret and desperation was written all over his face.

“Please,” he rested his forehead on yours, eyes closed as he mumbled, “You’re not alone in this. I don’t want to ask for much because I know I don’t deserve it, but please at least understand you don’t have to solve everything on your own. You’re not…you’re not alone. I’m here now.”

“When you left me,” your voice cracked, “It’s because you thought I wouldn’t love you anymore if I found out your true nature,” Satoru opened his eyes, anxiety swimming in those eyes that had once been so sweet. Perhaps he still held that sweetness now, albeit it was less tender and more cautious as he waited for you to continue. “If I told you about every sin I’ve committed, the name of each person I killed and everything I’ve done, would you stay with me? Or would you leave me again, only this time it’s because you think I’m no longer someone you could love?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I didn’t expect you to,” was all you said before you felt a tear prick the back of your eyes. You didn’t want him to see, god, you wanted to disappear in that moment you couldn’t think of anything else. Crashing your lips to his, you brought him down by the back of his neck to hide the tears freely falling from your face.

He froze for a split second before he eagerly pushed back, clenching the pool edges with his hands so hard his knuckles turned white. You were panting, moaning in his mouth as he pressed you harder against the edge, skin to skin, breath to breath, soul to soul.

Threading your hands to his hair, you grinded down on his shorts where he was already beginning to grow hard. Satoru groaned inside your mouth from your teasing but made no move to stop to – after all, why would he want to stop? It had been years, seven fucking years, and even you wouldn’t want to stop. It was wrong, it was dirty, it was immoral – but you needed this. You needed this more than ever.

Satoru’s hands tickled your waist as he squeezed them harsher than he intended, his calloused fingers travelling until he was kneading your breasts. You pulled away from him, head thrown back to rest on the edge.

And it was romantic.

The moon had never been so big, sprinkles of star shining in the vast darkness, the scene just perfect for two lovers in a getaway from the harshness of life. You knew it wasn’t real and the spell would break sooner than later, but did it matter? He rolled your beaded nipples into his fingers before he ducked down, lips suctioned to suck heavy bruises on the sensitive patch of skin on your neck that had you twitching in his hold.

Along with your moans, you cried harder. From heartbreak, from regret, from guilt; there was no turning back from this.

“Satoru, please, please, please. Make me feel better, make me feel good, I just want to forget everything.”

He nodded eagerly against your neck, letting your eager hands help him push his shorts down before his cock sprang free. His length grazed your lower abdomen for a moment, though he didn’t waste any time in entering your hole. You gritted your teeth at the intrusion, nails dug so hard in his shoulders that he bled.

The both of you had your foreheads connected, noses brushing and breaths mixing as you moaned and he sighed, eyes shut tight from finally being engulfed in your warmth.

“Right there, ‘Toru, oh fuck.”

“F-fuck,” he hitched one of your legs to wrap around his waist, “You’re still so tight after all this time,” Satoru praised, molding his lips with yours once again. He picked up his pace and watched as you desperately clung from one surface to another – his shoulders, his hair, the edge of the pool, flailing your arms each time his deep thrusts knocked the wind out of you – breasts bouncing as he bounced you on his cock.

“You look so fucking beautiful – my sweet, sweet angel. I missed you, missed you so fucking much.”

You didn’t say anything. No words were needed to be exchanged; actions spoke louder than words. At least right now, you could promise you wouldn’t lie.

Pulling him down for another kiss, you bit down on his bottom lip to muffle your moans, too speechless at each movement of his dick grazing past your walls. Fuck, he still felt so good, still knew your body way too well and your pussy hugged him so tight like you didn’t ever want to let go.

But you knew you had to, even as he came inside you and brought you back to your room, uncaring of the dripping mess you’ve both made before he locked the door.

You forgot how many hours you spent underneath him writhing in his bed. He took you each way he wanted – knees folded beside your head, on your side where he whispered all the filthy things he’d been wanting to do to you while he took you from behind, or your head squished on the pillow as he repeatedly smacked your ass, pulling your ass cheeks apart to praise you on how you took him so well. Satoru didn’t stop; you knew what you were getting into the moment you pulled him into you, that his sex drive was insane and he’d take long to tire himself out.

By the time the first shy fingertips of the sunlight extending across the horizon arrived, you were emptily staring at the window, Satoru fast asleep beside you.

It was time.

Silently, you pulled his arm away from you and quickly got dressed. He seemed to still be deep in slumber, and you carried the only bag previously packed with everything you might need. You were on the process of wearing your stilettos when he stirred awake, sleepily eyeing you from the bed you both devoted yourselves to in pleasuring one another.

“Where are you going?”

“Away,” you answered, tight-lipped. “From you.”

“Why?”

“Because…I lied,” you inhaled sharply, gloved hands frozen on the golden knobs.

Just open it, you screamed at yourself, walk away before it’s too late.

But you couldn’t move, pathetic that even after everything Naoya had worked so hard for, you still remained a slave to your past.

“No matter how much I hate everything you’ve done to me, I can’t bring myself to forget I once loved you. Maybe I still do – I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m not as strong as I thought I was,” you cried, losing grip on the bag before it fell. You watched emptily as all the contents poured out – your money, your clothes, your phone, your ring – it all served as a reminder of who you were, of who you’d forgotten to be, of who you were supposed to be.

Your shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I don’t have enough strength to kill you.”

“Hey, angel,” he cooed, reaching you in three long strides before he caged you in his arms. Satoru was so warm, so strong, and the safety he provided you with only made you cry harder. You wanted to hate him, wanted to keep lying yourself since you’d been doing a great job at doing that for the past seven years, but it wasn’t that easy. Deep down…you still harbored the most miniscule affection, and that enough was capable of destroying you.

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” you whispered brokenly as you banged a weak fist to his chest, “Everything is wrong.”

Finavice Pharmaceuticals didn’t disappoint.

You were beyond impressed the moment you stepped through the door, a horde of eager chemists guiding you through the upper floors. Finavice was one of the biggest – if not the biggest – companies that were known for harboring the rarest or hard to get elements that not even you and Naoya could get your hands on.

Not by yourselves, anyway, so you took it upon yourself to strike a sponsorship to their research program in developing a cure to cancer under the guise of being an advocate to the improvement of the medical field.

Truthfully, you just wanted to please Naoya, show him you were useful and that he didn’t need to kill you. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and there you were, your prettiest smile plastered on as you scanned the towering buildings with unmasked interest.

“Here is the laboratory for the Finavice Pharmaceuticals where we test…”

“Mrs. Zen’in?”

The entire team stopped as a tall man, cloaked in a beige suit instead of a lab coat appearhed out of nowhere. Judging by how everyone had ducked their heads down and turned silent, you could only guess he must be the boss. Flashing your most charming smile, you hitched your bag higher up your arm. “Yes?”

“May I have a word with you?”

You fought the urge to sigh. His question was spoken much more of a statement that you weren’t really given a room to decline, and the young chemists gazed at you curiously under their lashes.

Not wanting to create a commotion that would lead into unwanted attention, you nodded, following the man through a set of double doors, guarded by two heavily armed men from the outside.

The man, who was Kento Nanami, the founder of Finavice himself leaned back into his seat as he made himself comfortable. “So you signed a contract with us two weeks ago to partner on our latest medicine, am I right? I’ve read over your proposals and I must say, they are rather interesting and innovative. I didn’t expect that a businessman’s wife would be a chemist who is interested in expanding to the pharmaceuticals as well. The Zen’ins has never been much invested in that.”

Gladly accepting the tea he’d slid your way, you made sure to clink the teaspoon against the porcelain as you played along. “People change, Mr. Kento. My husband and I’s goals are rather different from their former, traditional ones. Surely, steel exchange couldn’t support us for the rest of our lives.”

“I can’t say no to that. Kudos to you and your husband for your rather…ambitious shared goals then.”

Your hand froze on the utensil, and you narrowed your eyes at him in warning. “Are you implying we should not have trusted you with this, Mr. Kento?”

“No, I am merely letting you know that your act won’t fool me,” he chuckled, leaning forwards to rest his chin on his clasped knuckles, his blue eyes growing dark and serious. “I know what you and your husband’s family does. The Organization knows a lot more about your actions than you think you know we do. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re only here because we’re the only company who has access to an element you need for your drug, isn’t that the case, Mrs. Zen’in?”

Well…this was certainly unexpected. You’ve been effortlessly deceiving countless businessmen, government leaders and officials even, that this took you by your surprise. Two could play at this game.

Even if he saw through you long ago, it wouldn’t take much to grab his letter opener that was right beside you and puncture it through a jugular vein. If his guards came, you could easily take them down too. Today was one of those few moments you were thankful for Naoya’s hellish training.

But you didn’t want him to feel satisfied, so you leaned back into your seat and crossed your leg over the other.

“If you knew this whole time, why didn’t you kill me already? A lot of people wouldn’t miss the chance to do so.”

Nanami chuckled. “It’s because like you, I’m not just a pioneer. I, too, have my goals and loyalty laid out for someone else. Most specifically, the Organization, an international collaborative effort of stopping and reducing mafia movement for the safety of our people. Obviously, I’ve been assigned in the Yakuza Division, and it’s no coincidence I read through your file. You are, after all, one of our precious targets.”

You stared at him boredly. Why couldn’t he just get straight to the point?

“Is this a threat? I’m not sure it’s working.”

“Oh, no, I’m not threatening you,” he snatched your tea and took a long sip from it, and it was the first time you learned of his habit of concealing his curious gaze through drinking; a perfect act to seem inconspicuous.

“I am offering you a path to redemption. You may fool everyone, but I know an unhappy woman when I see one, Mrs. Zen’in, and I can tell you find no pleasure in the life you live – running errands for your criminal husband, constantly fearing for your life, wishing you’d just been a regular person like everyone else…” At the lack of response, he took it a gesture for him to continue, and he set the cup down, pushing his glasses right back up his nose. “The Organization has labeled you a target, but I think you’re more of a victim caught in a series of unfortunate events. I merely wish to save you from it.”

You guffawed in laughter at his last statement.

“You men really are ridiculous!” you slapped your palm on his table, losing every bit of that elegant composure to be perfected by a Zen’in wife. “Always preaching about saving me and protecting me – what actually are you pathetic losers even capable of?”

Much to your dismay, Nanami didn’t seem the least bit affected by your mockery.

“Please, don’t group me in with your husband and your former lover. Unlike them, I harbor no interest in you as a woman, I only want to fulfill my duty as an Agent and save you not because you’re a damsel in distress, but rather because…I could kill two birds with one stone,” his eyes shone in mischief, and you swallowed in discomfort as he gazed you up and down.

You’ve had enough experience with being seen as a meal, but this was different. Nanami was viewing you like you were a secret weapon he intended on using as much as he could to achieve his goals.

“You are a very convenient woman, Mrs. Zen’in. Similar to how your husband adores your abilities, I would like to take advantage of your connections. The only difference between me and them is that I can actually give you something money can’t even buy.”

“Such as?”

“A second chance at a normal life.”

“What makes you think I’ll accept your offer? I’m the wife of a mafia leader – my loyalty resides in him.”

“Only because you fear for your life,” he flashed you a red coin, crescents of a Latin quote scripted inside. Mori quam foedari – death before dishonor.

“Join the Organization, Y/N. With your connections, we could easily take down these families and protect the country. Hand over Satoru Gojo and Naoya Zen’in to us, and I promise the Organization will do everything in its power to give you the life you always wanted. A safe, normal one. No more worrying about being killed as you ride your car, no more beating yourself up as you make drugs to promise your usefulness to your husband and no more pretending you are someone who you’re not,” he flipped the coin between his fingers, and tantalized, you couldn’t keep your eyes off it. “Don’t you want that? You’d be able to live freely if you cooperate with us.”

You could hear the gears in your head turning. Part of you would’ve assumed this was a trap had you not known better, but Naoya taught you that if something was a trap, it would sound too easy, too good.

None of this was easy. It would require facing a demon from your past and handling things differently than what Naoya had planned, but that wasn’t the worst.

It was the fact that if you accepted, you’d have to come home tonight and lie in the face of your husband who could easily read through you. He smelled lies and treachery before you could realize you were even thinking of doing something, and knowing Naoya, he wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes the instant he felt something was off.

But his offer… it was a risk you had to take. You wouldn’t ever get an opportunity like this again.

“Do you promise…that I’ll really go back to normal after this? That I won’t be involved in this mess anymore?”

“I can only promise that if you also promise to do your part. You see, I strongly believe you are the one that can put an end to this all. All you have to do is join us, and soon it’ll feel like this nightmare never happened at all. You’ll be free from Naoya Zen’in and Gojo Satoru before you realize it.”

You stared at his coin harder. Death before dishonor. This Organization he was a part of obviously didn’t fuck around, and it seemed scarier because they had their eyes on you for a while now. What were the odds they offered a deal instead of outright killing you, even going as far as to provide you a second chance at life, one that you genuinely wanted to enjoy? It would be a shame to say no, and even if the chances of this turning out well were low, you would damn well take it. A small chance was better than nothing.

“What do I have to do?”

Nanami grinned and pocketed his coin. “A very wise decision, Mrs. Zen’in,” he congratulated, “Please, meet me at my office tomorrow, eight on the dot. Oh, and remember, the Organization will now be watching you wherever you go. You’re one of us now.”

The next day, Nanami had cut your palm.

He spilled your blood into an empty metal casing with engraved letters, mori quam foedari, the phrase both comforting and ominous. Soon, you came home with your blood solidified into a coin to prove your membership and loyalty, that they quite owned you in more ways than one. Your blood meant your loyalty, and the coin felt heavy in your pocket with the implication it was also your blood they wouldn’t hesitate to spill should you betray them.

Mori quam foedari.

Death before dishonor.

Your life over Naoya’s, your future over Gojo’s.

The next few days had been tense. After telling Satoru everything down from the smallest detail, things had shifted between you. Quite frankly, you expected that maybe he’d kill you right then and there after explicitly stating that just because you couldn’t kill him, didn’t mean you wouldn’t turn him in.

“Angel,” he begged, “Will you never really give me the chance to do everything right this time around?”

However, you were too firm on your plans. You originally wanted to leave and go to the island yourself; it was easier to leave Satoru open and vulnerable for the Organization to attack him in your absence. He loved you, that was much clear, and if he looked for you, he’d make himself vulnerable to the Organization, but recent plans had to be altered now that he wasn’t willing to let go of you. Though no matter what he said, you valued your life and future more than you could ever love him.

It was an act of kindness to yourself.

“I don’t want this life anymore, Satoru. Either way, I don’t have a choice, not when I could die literally anytime before I could even say goodbye.”

It had been hours since ‘that’ talk and now you were on a plane back to Tokyo. You had to pull out some archives from Naoya’s files to know more about the island before you could visit it, and it was important for Satoru to know details such as security measures over there.

You’d long fallen asleep from exhaustion, bundled up in a fleece blanket while Geto glared at you.

“Are you sure about this, Sir? I think we should just keep her with us even if she doesn’t want to. The Gojo clan is powerful enough that no one would dare cross us. Not even this Organization she speaks of has ever done anything to us. Without her, they stand no chance against us,” he sat in front his boss and kept sending wary glances your way. “Letting her go like you did before wasn’t a good idea. She knows too much about everyone to live normally now. Do you really believe the Organization will protect her?”

“Knowing the strings the government could pull – and add on to the fact Nanami Kento, one of the richest men in this country works for them that it’s safe to assume each figure in them is a powerhouse – I don’t doubt their promise one bit.”

“But you’ll go to jail if you let her surrender you. Or worse, they’ll destroy the clan from the bottom up.”

“I know that, Geto.”

Geto groaned, brushing his hands through his hair from how indifferent his boss was being, drinking champagne as if he wasn’t willingly walking into his own death. “Then why aren’t you thinking more clearly about this? I understand you love her and you want to make it up to her, but we can’t let her do whatever she pleases! In order to keep herself safe, she’s going to sacrifice you! She’s dangerous, Sir, she’s been lying to her husband the whole time and who’s to say she isn’t capable of doing something worse to a stranger like you?”

“I told you already, Geto,” Satoru swirled the pink liquid in his flute, his face empty and unreadable. “I know.”

“With all due respect, Sir, I don’t agree with your decision. The clan would fall without you and you don’t have siblings or an heir. No one is powerful to hold the clan together aside from you so if you leave – there’s no more hope for us,” he sighed when Satoru didn’t budge. “I at least want you to reconsider your actions. She’s just a woman, Sir. It’s either we kill her or we imprison her. You let her go before because you believed she would be your downfall, and quite frankly, it’s happening all over again.”

Satoru gazed out the window, bringing the flute to his lips with a dark glint in his eye that Geto recognized meant trouble, or worse, an actual solution to this hellish situation.

“Which is why we’re going to pay an old friend a visit, Geto. There’s only one person who could turn the tables around.”

ADDITIONAL NOTE: TOJI IS COMING SOON!!! what are your theories on what might be on that island and *drum roll* WHO IS GOJO’S OLD FRIEND?!

taglist open:

@tete027 @sixeyesgojo @shingekiyofeels @q-the-rockaholic @whatthefuckisthatthing @rogueofbullshit @kat-su-ki @kellyyween @sebootyforlife @asshxcm @charlie-xo @aoi-turtle @ladywaifuuwrites @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @hannya-quinn @90s-belladonna @tinyfrogsinmybrain @kinekyuroo @evesmores @ambiguous-something @lilith412426 @kakashiharusohma @aizawap @yumeneji @dora-the-grownup @jotazinha @themrsgojo @d34r-s4t4n @marai-t @toji-bee @hai-cool @badsadbby @stesphy @peach-buns-unicorns @misslezah @gracefullyfallinglikeanime @iwaplant @mikiminaccch @riri-marley | bolded users cannot be tagged

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digital-corruption · 3 years ago

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Like most of my writing, this occurs after episode 10. It is also a bit AU... more so than usual. 😅

From Devil's Grasp: Part 1

⚠️ Warning: This fanfic contains foul language and drug references.

As I navigated through the deafening rave surrounded by a whole spectrum of cyber punks, I began to second guess the life choices that led me to this point in time. I was literally dumped by a guy I had never met, never even seen or heard before, just two months ago. And yet here I was, at wit's end, trying to pick up any lead on how to find him to convince him of otherwise. Because I couldn’t freaking let it go.

MC: What are you trying to say? I was just a tool for you to use?

Jake: I needed to find Hannah and for that I thank you. However, this is where our correspondence ends.

MC: Are you saying that there was nothing ever between us? It was a lie just to find out why my phone number was sent to Thomas?

Jake: Yes.

MC: I don’t believe you!

Jake: I am sorry that I had to mislead you. Hannah is important to me, I needed to find her no matter the consequence.

Jake: I am sure you would do the same for family.

MC: Liar! Maybe at the beginning you felt that way, but after all those chats! You exposed yourself to me, Jake! That’s not something someone just fakes!

Jake: I am trying to be clear as possible. I don’t want you to have the wrong idea about us.

Jake: Not anymore.

MC: You’re really going to sit there and tell me you feel nothing towards me? After everything!?

Jake: Please trust me. We never had any future together.

I reread that final chat so many times. Nothing about it ever felt right to me. It didn’t sound like him, and even if it was him, the way he said it was just wrong. He never appeared online again after that chat. I tried to find any trace of him online if only to find out more about him. Of course, how does one find a hacker online? With great difficulty!

I researched and poked around until I turned to the dark web. There I stumbled across references to an individual who could locate anyone - illumin8. Word on the dark web said he frequented the underground rave scene. The problem was you don’t find him, he finds you. I planned to test that theory, but I really didn’t take into account the size of the crowd. Finally I managed to push through to the bar.

“You’re a bit out of your depth, Alice,” the bartender looked at me questioningly as he cleaned glasses.

“That obvious?” I sighed.

“That’s what you get for chasing rabbits,” he teased.

“Well I don’t have a choice. I need to find someone and I hear he frequents here,” I explained.

“A lot of people frequent here,” he responded.

“He goes by the online handle illumin8,” I began.

“Shh!” he hushed me and looked around frantically. The bartender came closer to my spot at the bar and leaned over. “I don’t know where you heard that name, but you need to forget it quick!”

“Why? I've been told he could help me,” I frowned.

“He's the last person you want to owe a favour to!” he hissed.

I eyed the bartender for a moment. “OK, thank you.”

“Thank you? For what?” he raised an eyebrow.

I smiled before squeezing back into the crowd to navigate my way to the VIP stairs. However, the large bouncers at the bottom of the stairs prevented me from going up. Even trying my hardest to act seductively – it was so sleazy I don’t even dare repeat it – they wouldn’t budge! I had hoped I'd at least be able to catch someone’s eye on the balcony, but I couldn’t get anyone’s attention.

While I stepped aside trying to figure out my next plan of action, a server bolted down the stairs in a complete rage. She went to the bar and slammed down her tray in frustration.

“I told you you weren’t ready,” I overheard the bartender say to the server.

“It’s fine, I can handle it!” she insisted.

The bartender took the drinks order from her while giving her a questioning eye. He left her to go mix the drinks as I approached.

“It’s not like I have a fucking choice!” she cursed.

“Bad customers?” I asked earnestly.

“Just a couple of dip shits,” she sighed. “If I wasn’t working I'd rip them a new one. God, they act like such entitled brats! Why should I have to put up with it?”

“You could quit?” I offered.

“No way! I need the cash like yesterday! Ugh!” she stressed.

“Hey, I totally get where you’re coming from. I put a few years in as a waitress. Got myself out and never want to go back!” I sympathized. “Do you have someone else who could deliver the drinks? To give you a break from dealing with them? I mean that’s what we used to do.”

The poor girl lamented, “No, we are short staffed tonight.”

“That sucks!” I frowned. “I'd totally take those drinks up for you.”

“What, so you could steal my tips?” she doubted my intentions.

“No, no,” I shook my head then leaned closer. “To be honest, I need to get up there, but the heavies won’t let me up. A friend of mine said she saw my boyfriend with this skank tonight and I need to get up there and see for myself, you know? I can’t let him know I'm here.”

“Oh, well maybe we could help each other out then,” she winked at me.

The bartender returned with the cocktails prepared for the customers upstairs, completely oblivious to our conversation.

“You promise to bring back my tips?” she pressured.

“Of course! Here,” I reached into my purse and pulled out forty. “Insurance.”

“Back right corner, the prep school drop outs,” The server happily took the money.

She yanked her ID off her belt, tossed it on the tray, and pushed the tray in my direction in one fell swoop. This caught the bartender’s attention, but before he could protest, I had grabbed the tray and darted towards the stairs.

The bouncers didn’t even seem to notice that I had been the same woman trying to sleaze my way up earlier. They were too busy denying a couple of try hards to notice anything beyond the server's ID. Pretty lousy security, but I certainly wasn’t about to complain.

Climbing the steps I switching gears into waitress mode (that part wasn’t a lie). Upstairs was pretty spacious, which was a welcome sight. To top it off, the volume level was far more tolerable. Scanning the room, I quickly spotted the boys the server had complained about. They barely looked 18, but they were clearly no strangers to the party lifestyle. Ah to live the life of trust-fund kids.

What I didn’t see was anyone who looked the part of a shady, underground individual. Television, you clearly let me down. How on earth was I going to identify someone as ellusive as illumin8?

First, the drinks. I walked determinedly to the table to ensure I blended in as just another server.

“Yo, I thought you had ears!” prick #1 exclaimed. “We told you to bring the drinks in 15 minutes! Get lost, bitch!”

Initially I was taken aback at how easily the twerp confused me with the server downstairs. We looked nothing alike.

“Wow, if you had half a brain, you’d notice I'm not the same person you said that to,” I snapped.

“Yeah, she’s way uglier,” prick #2 chimed in.

“Cool so if you don’t want them now I'll just take these drinks back to the bar and let them simmer for another 15 minutes,” I said while resisting the urge to slam the tray into their faces.

“Ugh, put them down and get the fuck out of here already! You're ruining the ambience here with your tight-ass energy!” prick #3 complained.

I slammed the drinks down on the table, making sure to spill some onto the unbelievably obvious prepped lines of powder they’d been working on. The server downstairs could keep the insurance I paid her. These assholes weren’t worth their weight in tips.

“You fucking SJW!” prick #1 yelled.

Crap, I had let my anger get the better of me and now it was becoming a scene. So much for being sneaky. I turned quickly to walk off, but I ended up turning straight into one of the bouncers from the stairs.

He glared at me, “Our boss would like to have a chat with you.”

#duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake x mc

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dream-a-little-bigger-x · 5 years ago

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Quarantine Lovers | Charlie Gillespie

Requested by anon: Can we have a Charlie x reader where she is his secret quarantine partner and the cast keeps guessing who it is until Maddie names a famous writer and gets it right? Thanks!

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Female!Reader

Warnings: fluff

A/N: I’m not sure if this is what you wanted but i kinda like it haha

Charlie has always been secretive about his private life. It’s always been his one thing he promised himself. Work life and private life needs to be separate. Especially in the industry he’s in now. You and Charlie have been together for a couple of months now and nobody knows. It all started when he’d finished filming Julie and The Phantoms and came back to Dieppe from Vancouver. He went for a hike with one of his brothers when they found you sitting on a rock, clutching your ankle.

“Hey, are you okay?” his voice made you look up. You offered him a polite smile, trying not to show your pain or the fact you were thinking ‘Holy crap, attractive”. “Yeah, just threw my ankle a little bit on the rocks over there,” you pointed to a few feet behind the boys. “Was waiting for it to blow over and I could go on, but I’ve been sat here for…” you checked your watch, “About half an hour.” You chuckled at your own pathetic behavior. “I used to be really good at these hikes, you know?” Charlie then chuckled too, mostly at how endearing you were.

“Can you stand on it a little bit if we support you?” Patrick, Charlie’s brother, asked then.

“I’m not sure…” The two guys walked up to you, each taking a hand of yours to pull you up, and then wrapping one arm around your waist. You could go like that for about a kilometer until your foot began to throb again. “Can we take a break?” you squeak. Charlie and Patrick placed you onto a tree trunk very gingerly and took a seat next to you.

“Are you from around here?” Charlie then asked.

“Yeah, I live in Moncton with my best friend,” you replied with a smile, glad he’s distracting you from the pain in your ankle.

“No way! We live in Dieppe!” The excitement on his face was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen. Your eyes and smile widen at this, not necessarily at the fact he lives kind of close, but at the excitement on his face.

“Cool! I have family in Dieppe, so I know my way around there,” you told them. Charlie and Patrick nodded their heads at this, not entirely sure what else to say to this stranger they just picked up from a rock in the middle of nowhere.

“So, what’s your name?” Charlie then asked upon reminding himself of this fact. “Y/N Y/L/N,” you replied.

“Charlie Gillespie, and this is my brother, Patrick,” he introduced himself and his brother, who gave you a little wave. The wind suddenly picked up, and you knew exactly what that meant.

“It’s going to rain soon. We better get going.” Charlie and Patrick nodded their heads agreeingly and helped you up from the trunk.

“Get on my back,” Charlie then suggested. “It’s going to go quicker than you hopping along with us.” You hesitated for a few seconds, but then decided you agreed with him. Patrick helped you jump on Charlie’s back, and the three of you continued your walk down the trail, chatting about your lives the whole way down.

You found out Charlie was an actor and had just finished filming about a month ago, and you told him you were a screenwriter. Your most recent work was on Outer Banks and Season two of Umbrella Academy. You talked about your hopes and dreams and agreed the industry you both were in was a tough one.

From that day on, the two of you have been pretty inseparable. You became really close friends and spent a lot of time together before he finally asked you out on a first date. Then came more and more dates, and then came March 2020. Quarantine. And since Charlie had been spending most of his nights at your place since your best friend was with their parents, you both decided to quarantine together.

No one knew about your relationship. Not even his friends from the cast of Julie and The Phantoms. Only his family knew, and that’s all that mattered right now. No one knew you two were spending lockdown together at your place, and you could keep it a secret for a very long time. Charlie liked it this way, though the cast had been texting and calling non-stop because they knew he wasn’t home in Dieppe.

When September 10th hit, and he could finally show you the work he’d done on Julie and The Phantoms.

“What do you think, Baby?” he asked every five minutes when you were cuddled up on the couch watching it together.

“Stop asking me that question, Char,” you giggled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. You were fine for most of the show, chuckling at the ghost jokes or pretty much anything Reggie did, bopping your head along to the catchy songs. And then Unsaid Emily hit. “Oh, no…” you whined as the music started to play and on-screen-Charlie started to sing the sad song. The Charlie next to you chuckled, endeared by your investment in the show, and wrapped his arms tighter around you whilst kissing your head multiple times. “HOW DARE THEY END THIS LIKE THAT?!” You screamed at the very end, making Charlie love you even more. Afterwards, he listened to all of your theories and your predictions for season 2.

Thus far, quarantine is going really well at the Y/L/N-Gillespie Quarantine Residence.

The couple of weeks after the release of Julie and The Phantoms, Charlie had to do a lot of zoom calls for interviews. Sometimes even multiple a day. You made sure you were never in sight during those interviews, sometimes even leaving the house for a walk, but today, you decided to stay home and work on a script for an episode of season 2 of

Outer Banks.

You were sat on the sofa with your laptop and all your notes while Charlie was doing his interview in the bedroom. You could hear him talk to his castmates and the interviewer, and you often had to pause your writing because you wanted to hear what he was talking about.

“Where have you been spending quarantine?” the interviewer asked. Most of them said home with their families, and even Charlie said ‘home’. This answer melted your heart just a tiny bit.

“That’s a lie, Charlie,” Madison said with a giggle. “Charlie has a secret quarantine partner and doesn’t want to say who!”

“I am spending time with family, exploring Dieppe. I don’t know where you get your information from, Mads.” Though Charlie was a good actor, he couldn’t hide the fact he was lying to his own friends. Even you could hear how flustered he was.

“OK, I wanted to start with a couple of the fans’ questions that they sent in,” the interviewer continued, either ignoring the banter and the big piece of gossip they could get out of this, or not having heard it. “Someone asked who you’d love to work with on a next season.”

“Actor wise, I want to do scenes with Cheyenne Jackson,” Madison replies, “I didn’t get to do any scenes with him this season, but he’s really talented and I’d love to work with him. And I also have a writer that would be really great to work with on our show and that’s Y/N Y/L/N. She worked on Outer Banks and Umbrella Academy, and I loved the episodes she wrote.” Charlie’s face at the mention of your name is priceless. His eyes widen first before his mouth curled up into a smile, though he tried to hide it from his castmates and the interviewer.

Madison and Owen glanced into the camera knowingly but decided not to say anything and continue with the interview. It’s when that interview was done, Madi, Owen and Jeremy called Charlie in a group FaceTime.

“It’s Y/N, isn’t it?!” You heard Madison scream from Charlie’s phone as he walked into the living room where you were working. He gave you a questioning look, as if asking for permission to tell them. You simply nodded encouragingly.

“Yes, okay, fine! You figured it out!” The three on the other side of the line cheered loudly, making you chuckle slightly. “You want to meet the cast, Babe?” he asked you whilst making his way over. You patted the spot next to you for him to sit down, and he obeyed, showing you the screen of his phone.

“Hey, guys!” you greeted with a wave. A chorus of ‘hi’ and ‘hey’ meets your ears. “How’d you figure it out?” You asked them, placing your laptop on the coffee table to get more comfortable. You tucked your feet underneath you, placing your elbow on the back of the couch and gliding your fingers into Charlie’s long, lockdown-hair.

“First of all, I follow you on Instagram, Y/N, and I saw the two of you tagged the same location on the same day once, and your last pictures kind of look similar. So, I had a bit of a hunch, but I wasn’t sure, and when I mentioned you in the interview, he got all flustery and happy and I just knew!” You gave the girl an impressed nod.

“We literally just hung up on the interviewer when Madi texted us ‘IT’S Y/N!!’ in all caps,” Jeremy added with a smile. Defeated, and a little embarrassed, Charlie groaned and hid his face in the crook of your neck, seeking comfort.

“We won’t tell anyone, Char. We’re just happy for you,” says Owen with a smile, “And us, because now Madi won’t be texting us non-stop with all her theories on who your quarantine partner is.” All of you chuckled a that, except for Madison, she glared at her blonde-haired friend through the screen.

“You all wanted to know!” she snarled.

All of you chatted for a couple hours until Charlie and you got hungry and decided to prepare dinner.

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N! Hopefully we’ll see each other soon IRL!” Madison said with the biggest smile on her face.

“It was nice to meet you too, guys! Ooh, by the way! I loved the show!” you complimented.

“Of course you did,” said Owen with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Bye guys!” you waved at them, completely ignoring Owen’s statement. Charlie hung up the phone and put his phone on the coffee table before turning to you. “Madison would be a good detective,” you pointed out with a grin. Charlie glared at you, which just made you giggle and kiss his lips. At least now you didn’t need to keep it a secret from his friends. Almost like a weight off your shoulders.

Taglist: @hannahhistorian92 @marinettepotterandplagg @thequirkybookaholic @parkeret @lukeys-giggle @gingerxarmy @lovesanimals

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the himbos #charlie gillespie #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie one shot #luke patterson #reggie jatp #jeremy shada #alex jatp #owen patrick joyner #julie molina #madison reyes

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knullanon · 4 years ago

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how the symbiotes stole you from one another #3

this took 5 hours in total yay

words: 4627

warnings: manipulation, kidnapping, dads being assholes, lmk if I missed any!

Routines in the area where Knull had dropped you off were almost nonexistent. The only reason why you woke up at all was because of the fact that it was already something you did before you got here.

Here, as in this place where Knull seemingly… owned? It was weird. He didn’t just own the land, either, he owned the symbiotes, and by that, Knull, whenever he wanted to talk to you, would just go inside one of their minds, take over, and talk to you. He had done this one multiple occasions, with him always being an asshole about everything. From trying to stop you from going outside, to bitching about your old life, and how you must be enjoying this one. It was really annoying to have to deal with him every damn day, and it was starting to become borderline creepy.

He wouldn’t care about your privacy, only how you were holding up. Literally nothing could stop him from entering your room. He removed the lock when you first got there, and then just left you. Nothing to do besides clean, fuck around, and be bored to death. The only thing you could really do otherwise bsides talk to that asshole, is just try and find something to look at.

So far, you’ve been able to tell that the previous owners of the land were evicted: probably by force by the numerous blood stains all over the place, hiding under whatever Knull didn’t want to clean. Another thing you noticed was that the area you were in used to be covered with trees, but they seemed to be all cut down recently. They smelt fresh and didn’t have any dirt or grime on the stumps. You had to assume it was a safety precaution. For him, at least.

It didn’t take long for you to start snooping around and finding different things, like a hidden diary, all written in russian, an old art kit, and a calendar dated to that year. These items, and their good conditions they were found in, only solidifies your theory that Knull just found a random property and killed the people living there. It also solidified the fact that Knull really didn’t know you existed until that night. Or, morning. Whatever time you were at the gas station. You were able to tell how long you had been taken. 2 weeks just tonight.

It was annoying the hell out of you how long staying with these assholes would seem. Two months with Eddie and venom, and then 3 months with carnage and cletus.

And now 2 weeks with this asshole, probably more. You really wanted out of this damn place. Actually, you wanted out of this weird game they had. Whoever got you first got to keep you until someone else came along. And tried to do the same thing.

As you grabbed some random clothes, and walked into the bathroom, you tried to remember before everything had happened. Before you decided to walk back home alone, like an idiot. That's what you were, wasn’t it? A fucking idiot for thinking it was a good idea. You really thought that nothing would happen, would it? And now this.

Shoving open the bathroom door, you almost didn’t see the 7 foot tall symbiote sitting in the chair across from the bed. This one was known for having a more emo look to them. With being dark blue and with little streaks of even darker red, they were always quiet and silent when you saw them. They were usually the ones to bring you food, guard the house you were in. They were also the one that Knull preferred to get into when he decided to speak to you.

The symbiote themselves were rumble, and he was… actually quite pleasant. It seemed Knull had let this batch keep their personalities, maybe at the price of kneeling before him. You didn’t know.

What you did know was that Knull was now controlling Rumble through whatever bullshit he did to be this powerful. Rumble, or, Knull technically, was reading an old newspaper dated a few months ago. It was from somewhere in Idaho, where you would assume you were located. Yes, Eddie lived in San Francisco, but when carnage took you wherever the hell he took you, and then Knull, well, it was confusing to say the least.

Anyways, the one good thing about Knull was that he really didn’t care what you thought of the place, as he said it, “a temporary arrangement on both our parties''. Pretentious bitch.

Knull put down the newspaper, and gave a smile, before gesturing with his arm to the bed you had just made. “Ah, _____, sit. Let's talk shall we?”

You didn’t want to talk to him, or even look at him, but you followed his command anyway. You tossed your clothes into an old bucket that you had placed in the corner of the room and walked towards the bed, before sitting on it. Knull smiled again with that weird mouth. Rumble never smiled, so of course it would look weird when he did. Of course, not of his own will, but still.

“So, how have you been liking your new enclosure?” Did- Did he just-

You brushed it off, not wanting to anger him. “It’s… fine. Every home comes with its ups and downs.” you hoped he would get the message about calling a home an enclosure. It makes you feel like a pet rather than a person. If Knull noticed your wording, then he ignored it. Instead, he picked up the newspaper again, saying, “Good, good. I’m glad you could understand the circumstances of your predicament.”

You tried hard not to roll your eyes, remembering what Carnage or Venom would say- even now, if you had no idea where they were, their words and opinions still sat with you months later. Instead, you nodded your head to his words, and sat in silence waiting for him to say anything else. Knull did not say anything for a few minutes. Long, agonizing minutes. It reminded you of being with Eddie and Venom, those two assholes. When they were working, they required the utmost silence otherwise they couldn’t focus. They never got mad at you, but they would always try to put you up to something, like reading. Which is why you would read all their books on crime rates, detectives, natural disasters, anything to pass the time while they were working.

It got you entertained for the most part. Sitting in a room with nothing to do, for 2 months was more difficult than you ever thought it would be.

“Are you thinking of your previous hosts and their accommodations?”

Knull pulled you from your thoughts, and even though he was reading the newspaper, you were able to tell he wanted an answer. You shifted from your spot at the edge of the bed, before answering with, “U-Uh, yeah, I am.”

“Hmm.”

He continued to read for a moment, before he pulled the newspaper down a little to view you. “Are you not tired of them?”

“What do you mean?”

This time, he put the newspaper in his lap. “Venom and Eddie. Carnage and Cletus. How have they treated you in the few months you’ve known them?”

You had to sit there and think for a moment, wondering where this conversation was going. What was he trying to do this time?

“Well, venom and Eddie were… constricting. I never had anything to do. Besides reading the books on the shelf, but even then I had to do that discreetly. They didn’t like me doing those things. Or, rather, reading those things. They said it was too… graphic.”

“Ah, I see.” he acknowledged, picking up the newspaper again. “And Carnage and Cletus? How was their company?”

You really wanted to hide in a hole now. “They were… fine.”

“Were they, though?”

You wondered if it would just be worth it to tell everything: how you felt about Eddie, how you felt about Cletus, and how you felt about this asshole doing the same thing the rest of them had done.

“...No, they weren’t.”

He gave a small smile, before he asked, “Oh? Please do tell me more.”

You knew what he was doing, what he was playing at, and yet, you fell right for it. “They would tell me… they would say that no one was going to come for me. No one cared. Not my family, not Eddie, no one. Only them.”

He nodded along, and when he realized you were done venting, he said, “well, aren’t you glad that you’re with me now?”

Turning to face him, you gave him a glare. “Excuse me?”

“Think about it. With one of them, they gave you limited resources to entertain yourself, and the other made you feel like nothing. With me, I give you free reign to do whatever you please. You may ask for whatever you wish, visit whoever you choose, as long as you plead your loyalty to me.”

You stared at him, before you turned your back towards him, mumbling, “Liar.”

He chuckled, and you heard the newspaper crinkle. “I’m not making any jokes. Pledge our loyalty, and you will receive anything you would ever want.”

“Would that include being let go to see my family again?”

“Yes, actually. You would just have to come back when you were done with your visits.”

That caught your attention. He would let you go back? Really? He did say you would go back to him when you were done with your “visits”... but still, better than what the other two were offering.

You thought for a moment before the doubts started to kick in. How do we know he won’t betray you when you do pledge your loyalty to him? How do we know he won’t just keep you here forever? What ounce of trust should we put in him when everyone has kicked us when we were already down?

Almost as if he heard your thoughts, Knull said, “I will give you time for your answer. After all, I have years and years to spare.”

With that he folded the newspaper, setting it down gently, before you saw something spark in his eyes and Rumble returned to his own mind. He sat there unmoving for a few moments, before he sat up and looked at you. “I assume he just wanted to talk?”

You sighed, feeling tired only at 7 in the morning already. “Yes, Rumble, that’s all he came here for.”

He gave a hum of acknowledgment before he got up and walked to the exit to the room. Before he left, however, he said, “Do not be surprised if the water runs out: this was called a temporary enclosure for a reason.”

Before you could say anything, he left you to watch the door again, just before you could ask him to stop calling the home an enclosure, he shut the door softly. You were about to say something, but decided it was not worth it, so instead, you opted to just continue on with what you had to do throughout the day.

~~~~~~~~~

As Rumble looked on as you would clean and dry out clothes on line and leave them for the hot summer day to dry, hopefully by the end of the day, you had mumbled out when first getting out the big hamper. Next to it, you had a couple pieces of clothing sitting in another basket covered by water and soap. Currently, you were wringing out all of the water from a white top, trying to not stretch it out.

Rumble grumble out something, before he heard him in his head:

“Rumble, I would assume you would have the decency to not talk badly about my daughter behind her back.”

Rumble froze up before he quickly set his posture more straightened as he watched you put the shirt on the line, before going to grab another piece of clothing. “No, Lord Knull, I was just noting the… strange enclosure you had chosen for her.”

He heard Knull chuckle, before responding with, “Oh, Rumble, you should know my plan by now.”

Rumble sent a wave of confusion to Knull, indicating that no, he had no idea what his plan was.

Knull simply sighed, before he continued. “I have had plans to bring her to Klyntar, our homeworld, and yet, I have a feeling she will not be able to live there. For a while, I thought I would only be able to visit her through the symbiotes already on earth, or just get there myself, with obvious consequences. However, I’ve found a third option. There is a way to bring her here without having to worry for her safety.”

Suddenly, Rumble received a vision, or more specifically, a live feed of what Knull was looking at. It looked like a symbiote, and yet, it was… odd. It did not have a mind of its own, it's like it was waiting to be filled by something. And this one did not need a host, either. From Knull’s own memories, it seemed he created this one to rely solely on its own, however, for the need to do normal things, it needed someone to fill its mind. Rumble suddenly realized where this was going.

“Lord Knull, you aren’t saying-”

“Yes, I’m saying exactly what you are thinking of.”

Rumble saw Knull walk up to the symbiote, and stroke it with his claw. It did not respond. “This symbiote that I have created will need a mind, someone who has already been born, only their mind. I am planning on giving it to ______ and then letting her rest there, before taking away her body and giving her mind to.... Well, I have not named this one. Maybe I will name it… _______. After her.”

~~~~~~~

You laid the last shirt in the bucket, and when you tried to grab another and felt that there were no more, you sighed and grabbed the dirty water, and poured it out on the grass, not caring if the soap would kill the already dead plants. Then you put the hamper and the bucket on top of each other and carried it back into the house. When you reached the sink, you put the buckets in the sink and turned the tap: only for nothing to come out.

“Do not be surprised if the water runs out: this was called a temporary enclosure for a reason.”

Fucking hell. You got the hamper out and when you saw that it was relatively clean, you let it go, but the dirty water one…

Yeah, you had to clean this before the next laundry day.

It did not help that there were dishes that needed to be washed. You sighed and left the bucket on the counter, and you were about to walk back up to your room, when you had an idea. You walked outside and saw Rumble standing near a cut down tree, waiting for something. Walking up to him, you said, “Hey, Rumble, is there another water source around here?”

He gave you a look, before he said, “Yes, there is one, why must you use it? We will be moving next week to a new location.”

“Well, if it's gonna take a week, I hope you have some form of water to bring up here for the dishes, or showers, or clothes, or-”

“Alright, alright I get it.” he stalked over to you and looked towards another symbiote, probably trying to talk to them before the other symbiote simply nodded and walked to another part of the property.

“I will take you to a river, but after that, the others will gather the water for you, am I clear?”

You nodded. “Good, lets go.”

~~~~~~

Anti-venom stood at the clearing, looking at the decomposing bodies, just two women and two men. He could tell they had been there for more than a week, but not enough for them to completely decompose.

Anti-venom looked around before he tried to smell where they were from. Unfortunately, whoever dumped their bodies was smart in how they covered up the scent. There was almost nothing out here, and with the fact that someone covered up their scent made it more unnerving.

He didn’t try to think of how they died, only giving them his wishes before he started to walk away. Just a couple meters away was a little river that he knew expanded as you went up the stream. He walked over and saw nothing of old blood on the rocks, so they must’ve died somewhere else-

What was that?

He whirled his head towards the start of the river, upwards maybe by a few miles. Even out here, the stench of Knull and his underdogs were there. He growled, remembering how Knull used them for his own gain. He quickly theorized that for some reason, Knull was here and he had killed these people- but why? What would make him do this?

Anti-venom decided to find out on his own, as he started to sprint his way up the river.

~~~~~~

“Why did Lord Knull choose you, anyway?”

“Choose me as what?”

You were currently at the river, cleaning out the dishes in the bucket, and then rinsing them off. Rumble was nearby, sitting in his own little area, and he was also bored. He wanted to know things that Knull would not tell him: would not tell anyone, to be more precise.

You looked back at him, before you turned back to the dishes. “I don’t question it anymore. I never had a choice, I was just… chosen. It’s something I’ve had to get used to for the past months, and even now I don’t have anything to do, anything to say.”

Rumble quirked an eye. “But Lord Knull gave you a choice, did he not?”

“Oh, yeah, please tell me, what did he give me a choice on?”

“On being free to do as you please.”

You stopped washing the little plate you had, and you turned back to face him. “What?”

“He gave you a choice. You could swear loyalty to him, or-”

“Ok, enough with the loyalty bullshit, I’m tired of hearing it.” You had gone back to the dishes, scrubbing furiously at the plate. “I get it, it's a better option than Carnage or Venom, but could I at least have the option of never seeing you fucks ever again?”

Rumble did not say anything more, letting you get out your anger by scrubbing the dishes that were left, and tossing them into the bucket.

When you were finally done, you tried to pick up the bucket, but all of that scrubbing and cleaning made your arms sore. Rumble decided to restore his reputation with you by getting the bucket for you. You didn’t complain, as your arms were extremely sore from your anger washing.

The walk back to the property was peaceful. You weren’t angry at Rumble: to be honest, he was a sweetheart. He would help you out with so many things it was almost unbelievable. He was much more pleasant to be around than Knull, that was for sure.

Even if he had to call Knull “Lord Knull” each time you met, it was fine. The little trail that you two took was getting more smoother as you got closer and closer to the property. When you reached the clearing, you saw the normal sight:

5 symbiotes around the area stalking, waiting. They were most likely on guard, and even then, they had their eyes on you, making sure there was no funny business between you and Rumble.

Walking up to the one story house, you felt… wrong. Of course, this had always felt wrong, but this time it was like someone was watching you from afar. Before you got onto the porch, you turned to look at all the symbiotes watching you. Nothing unusual, the normal amount that would stand guard in this area. Maybe one of them is looking too long, you thought, as Rumble opened the door for you and you both went inside.

Unfortunately, no one noticed the speck of white in the bushes, hiding. Waiting.

~~~~~~~

It was almost time for you to start getting ready for bed. You already had dinner, and now all you needed was just a nice warm bed. You sighed as you made sure everything was in its place, before you walked back in the hallway and into your room. You got out your favorite pair of pajamas, and started to change. You already had a shower last night, it wouldn’t matter if you had one today.

As you changed, your mind went back to the conversation with Knull earlier that day. Would he really let you do whatever you wanted if you just… spared your loyalty, as he called it? Could you see your family and friends again? Could you tell them you were ok and not harmed?

But, he did say that you couldn’t stay there… you would have to go back with him… where did he live, anyway? He was an alien god, so… space? But… where?

Maybe he lived on some random planet and acquired a bunch of power, you had no idea-

“YOU WOULD ALL DARE TO HELP KNULL AND HIS PLANS?!”

That didn’t sound good. You rushed out of your room, pajamas halfway on, and peeked outside of the kitchen window, where you saw everything.

In the middle of the clearing, stood tall and bloody, was another symbiote. He was white with some black accents here and there, and most importantly, he was holding fire.

You already knew that symbiotes didn’t like heat, or fire. Especially not fire.

You remember one time when you tried to escape Eddie with fire. It did not work out well. You were locked in a closet, and fortunately for you, that was where you stored your books.

Anyways, you had no time to think of those times, when you were running from whatever the fuck is going on outside the house. You ran back to your room to put on a shirt, and when you were finished putting on your socks, running was heard from the hallway.

Rumble came through the door and dragged you by your forearm down towards a specific spot in the floor. He then lifted a larger floorboard that revealed a crawl space. He shoved you in, gently as possible, before he said, “Stay. Here. I’ll come for you when I beat him.”

“Who?” You were about to ask, but he slammed the door shut, leaving you to fear for the next few minutes.

You sat there for a few more minutes, before you heard crackling. Crackling of fire. You were desperately trying to open the door, but it seemed to be glued shut: there was nothing that could open it.

At this point, you were starting to cry. The symbiotes couldn’t stand fire, how would they stand this? You were desperate to leave, to escape: you never wanted to be here, with these people who thought they could help you. You wanted to go home, to see your family, friends, the people who loved and cherished you, and actually respected your boundaries.

The door was broken inwards and you felt every muscle in your body stop. You crouched a little from the trap door, hoping they didn’t hear you. From they're desperate steps and quick feet, it was obviously not Rumble or any other symbiote you knew.

You were pulled from your thoughts as the steps went into the hallway. As they walked by, slower, you held your breath. If they found you… well, you knew what happened when new symbiotes would find you.

You let out a silent sigh when they passed the door… only for them to come rushing back. Without even knowing it, they ripped open the trap door, revealing you, tired, scared, and cold.

The symbiote you saw was the exact one that was outside, who was attacking all the other symbiotes.

He looked shocked, as if he didn’t know you were there. “Child…” he asked, as he reached down to try and grab you, “what are you doing in a place like this?”

He picked you up with the utmost gentleness and care, like you would shatter if he just yanked you out. He cradled you within his arms, like you were a baby. He was a giant compared to you, being almost 7 or 8 feet tall.

“Where are your parents?” he asked, taking you with him, walking out of the house. You tried to crawl out of his palm, but he stopped you each time. “I-I don't know.”

He tried to give you a sympathetic look. “Oh, my sweet dear, don’t be afraid. I will k-”

He suddenly jumped into the fire, and you screamed expecting to be burnt along with all the weeds.

However, you didn’t feel anything. Turns out this was because the symbiote had taken you up into the air, so while he was holding you by your waist, he was also holding you out of the reach of the fire. He held his hand up high, not only to make sure that you wouldn’t be hurt, but as you saw Rumble on the ground, close to the fire, you realized it was to get you out of his grip.

“Rumble. You used to be such an open minded symbiote. Now look at you. You are just leeching off of Lord Knull, the one who enslaves you and the rest of our kind!”

The white symbiotes seemingly noticed you again, and said, “and you have the audacity to bring an innocent child into this mess! How dare you!”

With that, he started to walk into the fire, which surprisingly was not burning him. He still held you up high so you wouldn’t be burnt by the flames, which was nice. You looked back at Rumble, who was trying to get up, but the injuries on his legs seemed severe. The fire was closing in on him as well.

You felt bad for him. You reached out, but before you could do anything, Anti venom started to sprint away from the house. The last thing you saw of Rumble was him collapsing onto the ground, broken and beaten.

When you were out of the fire, the symbiote lowered you to his eye level. “My name is Anti-Venom, tiny child. What is yours?”

BONUS:

Rumble sat on the remains of the house: nothing was left of it when Lord Knull appeared. It was a miracle he had even gotten the distress alert, a bigger one he had arrived in time to save rumble himself. Every other symbiote was gone, either from the fire or the white symbiote. Anti-Venom was his name.

“So, you failed at getting back _____ for me?”

“... Lord Knull, I am deeply sorry, but-”

“I don’t want to hear excuses, Rumble, I want to see my daughter! I want to seeher before the other two get her, or worse she falls for that idiotic Anti-Venom, do you hear me?!”

Rumble sat there waiting for Lord Knull to be done with his rant, before he said, “Yes, Lord Knull. I understand.”

Lord Knull stood up and started to walk away. “Good. I will try to locate her myself. In the meantime, find out everything you can about this Anti-Venom. I want his secrets, every dirty little thing about him, do you understand?”

“Yes, Lord Knull, it will be done.”

And with that, Lord Knull was gone, leaving Rumble to dwell in his own failures.

--------

almost forgot, @anxiousnerdwritings this was for u

#yandere knull #yandere cletus kasady #yandere carnage #yandere eddie brock #yandere venom #yandere anti-venom #yandere marvel #yandere marvel comics

260 notes · View notes

lwt28brave · 4 years ago

Text

LT2 masterpost

If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.

Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.

I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.

Possible tracks:

Copy of a Copy of a Copy

Change

Faith in the future??

369??

Possible names:

369

Faith in the future

When is the album coming out?

Your guess is as good as mine

Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?

Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.

Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).

The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.

2020

He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.

(x)(x)(x)

Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.

May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.

Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…

Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:

Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.

Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^

And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:

(x)

He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)

And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.

(x)

He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).

COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!

These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.

I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).

So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.

---End of the Intermission---

Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)

It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!

He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)

(x)

Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.

2021

Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!

15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥

(x)

So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.

“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.

He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!

Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.

On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:

He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.

(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.

(x)

…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).

On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!

On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)

Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.

On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).

Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.

(x) And the second mention to 369.

(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".

On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.

Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.

Into May’ 21 we go.

He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).

He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.

I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.

I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.

Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.

Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.

He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.

June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.

(x)

This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.

He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.

During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.

On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.

He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!

I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.

Let’s talk Change!

On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.

(x)

And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.

We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.

On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.

(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.

So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).

Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).

On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.

And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.

On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.

“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.

“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.

“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.

And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.

So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.

#LT2 #Louis Tomlinson #Faith in The future #369 #Louis #LT #new music #idk what this is #but it's long #pinned

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