#I like these ones and def had to think about bad habits bc I usually ignore them (oops)

[iraprince]

hi ira, you're a big inspo for me! especially as a fellow adhd artist.. i often struggle with "letting go" sketches / leaving them be, i always end up focusing on each as if it has to become a full piece. i personally feel this is bc of my adhd and was wondering if you struggled with something similar, or had any advice on sketching?

thank you so much! and yeah, okay, let's chew on this one and see what we can come up with.

so i actually usually have the opposite problem: I can generate a bunch of loose sketches really quickly, but i have a really hard time buckling down and putting the focus in to take any of them all the way to being full pieces. i think sketching and leaving those sketches as-is comes easily to me because i enjoy it (as in i physically enjoy the feeling of drawing in a loose, gestural style, AND i aesthetically enjoy how unfinished sketches look), and i'm extremely accustomed to it (most workdays i start up by doing ~45-90 mins of sketches, usually a few digital pages worth). these things combine so that the habit of churning out a bunch of little images and then immediately moving on is something that's really natural to me.

HOWEVER i am def not just advising "sit yourself down and sketch for an hour and a half every day" with no other context; i think "draw every day" as ironclad advice is usually pretty clumsy and isn't always applicable to how people work best, or always effective against what actually trips people up with art stuff. i think a lot of this is abt getting mindset right!!! drilling and repetition is good later for building speed and confidence but it's not as useful until u've figured out the underlying struggle imo.

so, some thoughts:

do u keep going on the sketch bc u get distracted by the idea of the final piece, and u just get sucked in to progressing toward that? for me, sometimes i do nail a sketch and im like "ooh, i want to do something more with that!" — but because these sketches happen during my warmup time and i need to keep moving, i don't do it right away. i usually just make a note right on the canvas, or i copy/paste the sketch into a separate file to come back to later. if u get the urge to keep going on a piece bc u want it to have more, but what u Actually want is to do a few more sketches, consider scooting the sketch over into a wip file/folder/etc for later (if ur working digitally; set it aside in a physical wip folder if you're working traditionally).

do u keep going on the sketch bc ur insecure about the fact that it isn't polished, or bc u feel like it "needs" more to look good? u may be affected by The Spectre of Posting. something i have wrestled with constantly and that i think many artists wrestle with is that, even if we aren't having these thoughts consciously, whenever ur drawing there is kind of this little voice in the back of ur head that's like. "is this gonna be good enough to post. if it turns out crappy i won't want to post it and then i will have wasted all this time. will this flop? if i post this will it make me look like i'm bad at drawing? what if this isn't as good as the last thing i posted and then it looks like im getting worse" and on and on and fucking on. this is all fucking nonsense, but also it's really hard to break out of. try, as hard as you possibly can, to start becoming okay w the idea that not everything is for posting, and that if something doesn't turn out great or u don't necessarily want it to like Artistically Represent You then nobody ever has to see it, and i think u might find that a lot of the tense little subconscious urges and hangups and anxieties you have about your work will start to unravel. any statement abt your art that starts with "i feel like i need to...." or "i feel like i should...." is probably somehow tangled up with the idea of other peoples' eyes on your work, and as long as you're letting a vibe like that breathe down your neck, you really can't draw freely.

do you keep going on the sketch bc you just don't like the sketch and you think if you keep picking at it it will eventually get better? well — okay, sometimes you're right! sometimes picking at something endlessly is how u eventually get something really nice and fleshed out and cool looking. but also we are mortal creatures with a limited amount of time on this earth and i am assuming from the fact that u asked for advice that u want to create More drawings. so the only real advice for this category of sketch hangup is: dude, fuck it. make a bunch of bad sketches. do it on purpose, if that helps loosen you up! designate "fucked up stupid sketch day" and make a bunch of the most dogshit drawings you can muster. remember when earlier i said part of why this is easy for me is bc i do so MUCH of it? sometimes it's about volume. if every time u start on a sketch, it ends up being the only thing u pick at for the next few days, of COURSE it's going to start feeling super precious and high stakes to you. you're not being irrational for getting attached to stuff u spend time fussing over. but if u want to be LESS fussy and LESS attached, probably the fastest way is to just start making yourself churn a bunch of shit out, because if you've made TWELVE little sketches today who actually cares if four of them are dogshit. make MORE of them, and it becomes way less serious. u can use time limits to push yourself along, if that helps — an exercise i really like is putting my music on shuffle and then doing a bunch of little drawings where i work on each one for ONLY the duration of one song each. when the song ends, i stop working on the sketch i'm on and move on to a new one. and sometimes they're totally dogshit, because the best songs in the world are all sub 2mins! or draw yourself a bunch of very small rectangles on a sheet of paper and fit a bunch of little drawings into those. anything to help Shove u past the idea that a drawing has to, like, LOOK LIKE anything or be cute or appealing or look good in any capacity will help break up the apprehension u get about wanting sketches to come out a certain way.

i have talked ur ear off as always but i hope that some of this is helpful!! or if i totally missed the mark and none of this connects w u re: why u find this stuff challenging, pls feel free to send me another ask clarifying what u get stuck on and i'll see if i can think of any potential fixes :)

[tumblingghosts]

🍅🧩🏜🪲☁️🍦

Hope not too many for one ask sksk

re: ask game

🍅 — give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

i definitely think that my word choice & sentence structure can be pretty clunky because i tend to repeat certain words or phrases all the time. i'm working on adding more variety & changing up my writing style from time to time so i can get some practice with different styles. also, i have a bad habit of changing up sentences bc i don't like how they look -- not necessarily the phrasing, just stuff like not starting a paragraph with 'the' because i don't like how sharp a capital 'T' looks at the beginning of a sentence.

🧩 — what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

it honestly depends on my mood! i'm not too bothered by formatting or grammar, but if a plot doesn't really vibe with how i'm feeling (e.g. seeking out humor fics & finding a very plot-dense introspective one), then i'll usually click away. it doesn't mean the story is bad or anything -- just that it's getting put on a read later list for when i'm feeling like reading it. i basically click away from any fic i'm not in the current headspace for & save it for later.

🏜 — what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

i love getting long comments -- def super happy whenever i see those. i am very grateful for any kind of comments tho! it's very sweet knowing that someone took the time to stop by and drop a string of emojis or write out a few sentences <3

🪲 — add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Marcus can be saved. If there is one thing that Sejanus believes in, it has to be that. If Sejanus could simply be strong enough, quick enough, clever enough—maybe Marcus could live this time. If Sejanus could become enough, then perhaps Marcus would not be here at all. But over and over and over again Sejanus learns that it is not nearly so simple, that a life lost and regained and broken and undone would remain so, no matter how many turns he is granted to try just one more time. And another. And again.

☁️ — what made you choose your username?

it's kind of lame tbh -- the "tumbling" part was literally just bc i was signing up for tumblr, and i carried that over to when i was making an ao3 account. "ghosts" just bc of the profile i had selected (which is from chibird -- there's a lot of very cute and motivational art there & i highly recommend checking it out). i can't remember why "backpacks" was chosen though... i might have just been mashing nouns together at that point lol

🍦 — name three good things about a character you hate

ooo this is hard bc i can't think of a character i necessarily hate? either i like a character, or i'm indifferent. maybe coriolanus snow (though i do have a lot of fun writing from his pov) bc his mindset & the way he views others is very ehhhh.

but i digress -- three good things about him are 1) he's intelligent (he was very good at utilizing his charm and wit to pave a path for himself), 2) he's very driven (he's incredibly ambitious and motivated towards his goals), 3) he's funny (his pov, if nothing else, is incredibly entertaining)...too bad none of those things could make him choose to be a good person :/

thanks for the ask! :D

[borom1r]

hmmm 3, 5, 6, 11, 14, 20, 22, 26, 38, 40 for the fun questions meme <3

ooooooo ok these’ll b inchresting :3

3- 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

th lotr trilogy (duh), I Saw the TV Glow, The Last Unicorn :3

5- what made you start your blog?

THIS blog? suicide bait on my old blog :3

tumblr in general? a friend showed it to me in high school n i made one n my life was irreversibly changed lmfao

6- what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

ATTENTION. double edged sword. like ok i try not to let myself care abt attention and try to be rlly careful now abt who i interact with but at the same time it rlly is validating when things Get Attention. some of my favorite fics have little to no engagement :( n like yea its not healthy to create FOR engagement (fast track 2 burnout) but its also like very disheartening to put time n effort n passion into sth only for it to fizzle out in the void

but whatever. ill make weird art forever

11- what do you consider to be romance?

THIS IS SO FUNNY 2 GET bc soooo much recently has made me reevaluate like. how I perceive this lollllll

anyways short answer: idfk man!!!!!!! close friendships n romance r incredibly cloudy in my mind cuz ive got a bad case of dogbrain!!

long answer is i just don’t quantify that stuff the way neurotypical ppl do :3 ties into th autism + nonhumanity. i also think cis ppl being attracted to me is gross lol. ideal romance for me is bein held n tended to like a noble knight tends their sword. I feel love like a dog feels abt their human!!! dogbrained!!! romance is being a guard dog, being a Really Good Boy but just soooo disconnected from like. idk allosexual/neurotypical quantifiers of “romance” for me lol

+ i don’t use th label rlly but im def somewhere on th ace spectrum lol like physical intimacy is only rlly “safe” conceptually when its completely disconnected from th realm of possibility. like thirsting over celebrities or like th knight i have a crush on. + cis ppl desiring me is rlly like.. ew 😒 don’t look @ me anymore man

14- what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

UM. funnily enough im gonna do th Big Thing this summer :3 im going 2 th renaissance festival shirtless this year now tht im post op

s’gonna be scary showin off my scars but i rlly wanna go all out n celebrate finally havin top surgery. like im alive!! despite everything im alive n im happy ^_^ so cis people be damned, im gonna run around like a lil wolfguy for the first weekend!!!!!

20- favourite things about the night?

i love the moon :3

i also love how still n quiet things get

22- say 3 things about someone you love

ITS SO BRAVE!!!!!!!!! ITS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST GUY I KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO PROUD OF IT FOR HOW MUCH WORK IT DOES TO BETTER OUR COMMUNITY N PROUD OF IT FOR PURSUING TRANSITION + CANT WAIT TO SHARE MORE TRANS JOY W/ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(hiiiiiii Ly hehe!!)

26- fave colour and why?

when i was a kid my favorite colors were neon yellow n neon pink :3 they still kinda are but now i usually stick to like lime green or bright red paired w black. forest green + dark blue r gr8 too

38- fave song at the moment?

DONT ASK ME TO PICK JUST ONE???????

here r some I’ve had on loop lately: Far Away (Roadside Ghost), Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl (Broken Social Scene), I’m Already Gone (Baroness), Sex for Homework (MSI)

40- any bad habits?

oh yea i have dermatillomania lol

it doesn’t rlly bother me to talk abt bc i think “gross” stuff like that deserves to be less stigmatized— my shoulders n back are COVERRRRREED in little scars + scabs

[chronicbloodynoses]

idk maybe it’s the calm b4 the storm but going from an emotional low to a crazy emotional high??? like idk how to explain it but i just feel so great i feel content with my life like of course there’s always the little things but i just feel like i have such a positive outlook rn and i’m feeling pretty great from it all

(crow from the future. this is a long yap sesh that i typed for like 30 mins. break bc it’s kinda a lot 😜)

maybe it’s the being able to talk to someone, or maybe it’s the feeling set in my friendships, or maybe finding out how an old friend actually thought about me, but i’m just really happy rn???? idk maybe i can send some form of happiness or positivity to you guys????

no matter where you are, no chaos can remain in chaos. whether you’re in or out of school, everything is always changing. you can take the steps needed to make changes, but when you’re helpless, the world still will change. do you think that this will still be happening in a year? or maybe two years? if you think about how you were then, you can see a change. but if you think about it, the change wasn’t truly “noticeable” you can never know something until it’s over, and you’re out. you can’t see the change as it happens, but you can look back and reflect on it. does any of this make sense? maybe you need to just do drugs that aren’t harmful. today in english we watched vaping videos and all that because it’s red ribbon week. idk if i mentioned it b4, but i was vaping a little bit socially before, but i really don’t want to create a habit like that. i’m happy with my edibles, and that’s that. if you notice an addiction, i think you should quit cold turkey as soon as you can, but if you know yourself, then why not, yknow? that is, for what i consider harmless at least. i don’t think i’ve ever heard of a weed death, unless in the form of an overdose but that goes for anything. i think you should do what makes you happy and stay safe when you do it, yknow? know yourself limits and prioritise your responsibilities over having fun. #besafe #dontkillyourself #dontgetaddictedtodrugs #dontgethealthshiz yeah idk my whole thing w this nothing burger ass post (bc yall know i cannot stop yapping) but im feeling good and hopefully you guys are also feeling good and having fun and being safe in anything that you do. i’m also tired. i also just got recommended my kinda ex? but def ex friend, on tiktok. my first kinda partner but we were friends b4 and it was online and we dated for a week b4 they broke up with me, which i was super happy about bc almost instantly i realised i was NOT into them in that way, and kinda funny so when they wanted to get back together a couple days later, i was a big stupid FART who couldn’t tell people things (in the past, im better now) and so i basically told them that i only am in love with dead people. the deceased. they asked in a very indirect way and i basically just redirected each part to dead people. yeah uh yknow more yap fest my dream last night will go here too. paragraph break!

so my dream last night was not JUST a dream. it was a nightmare and kinda a stupid one but my worst nightmares lately all have to do w this. so my computer had a virus LOL and it was like?? through xbox??? and it was pissibg me off and it opened up like 500 tabs of all minecraft over and over again and my computer is like TWEAKING and i try to open up malwarebytes and instead of my usual thing it gives me this shitty fake error basically saying “this version doesn’t work anymore, sorry! click the link below to download the new version!” and i’m like FUCK my computer has a BAD VIRUS and it’s duplicating all my things and overloading my computer and then i’m like okay. i gotta go to malwarebytes and then the actual download to a REAL version. and im struggling to type it and then when i do it and i click the link, its a fake website, and i go back and find the real one. it redirects me to roblox. and i’m like????????? and i go back to get out of roblox and it gives me a short pop up b4 sending me back to roblox saying “windows error” so im like FUCK. THIS BITCH BLOCKED MALWAREBYTES. and i’m thinking and i decide i need to get a flash drive, download malware bytes on it, and use it from there and then my alarm goes off

also little bonus so i wake up at 6, and i basically just relax and hang out in my bed and wake up til 6:30, but sometimes i fall asleep again which is when this dream took place, but b4 i fell asleep i was watching community and so im my dream i hear it and im like watching it on my phone while im dealing w the virus and im comprehending everything (ive already watched community like 3 times, i KNOW these episodes so its not like i watched a new one in my sleep, i was just hearing it while i slept and it made its way in) and then when i woke up from my “alarm” 6+7 i have that one song from south park playing (from night of the living homeless. i get woken up by cartman singing abt the homeless. and i chose this fate.) and 6:30 it’s just a vvvrrr vvvrrrrrrr so in case i sleep through 1+2 i have 3 to wake me OR to give me a checkpoint for getting ready (i leave ~7:30)

little bit sad bc my wife just called and she’s not gonna b there tomorrow probably BUT i know she’s BEEN needing a break day so im happy that she’s able to +allowed to have a break from school and everything and be able to catch up on schoolwork

anyway’ i should prob go to bed ive been typing and yapping for the past likeeee at LEAST 30 mins just bc i could just type my every through literally forever but that doesn’t mean i SHOULD! uhhh yeah GOODNIGHT GUYS! GOODNIGHT TO THE LIKE. 5 OF YOU. I HEART YOU! THANKS FOR GETTING THIS FAR AND HEARING MY YAPPING!

[1d1195]

Kinda feel bad for those other stories lol but I have no doubt that they will have their shining moment and I’ll love them just as much! So excited to see how all of these turn out! And a grump x sunshine vibe?! A CLASSIC!

I get what you’re saying when it comes to consistency but that still doesn’t mean it hurts any less when it happens! Still I hope that you get out of this funk soon! Hope your grocery shopping and prepping went well! Lowkey did the same thing today and i absolutely HATE grocery shopping like it’s just too much 😭

Bestie you are so wrong I’m NOT that great😭 idk I have a very weird way of viewing myself and my college doesn’t help with that lol this entire experience has been ROUGH to say the least then mix in my own mental health struggles/life it’s kinda crazy I’m even in this deep lol basically it’s giving gifted kind burn out vibes lol but you’re so sweet seriously you’re kind words are always so appreciated!

Yay to walks and writing! It’s the little things that count and make a difference! And I like the idea of you having books as a little treat for you during the school year! I know it’s probably annoying to constantly hear about “balancing” bc it’s easier said than done but having stuff like that will hopefully help❤️ and I’m sure anyone in like school/academic settings those months are probably super busy so it’s understandable!

The reveal of him not knowing made everything better! It was NOT lame at all if anything it was so you to add something like that in the story, truly loved it!

Taking that break was a really good decision! And I will ALWAYS support you putting yourself first! I can’t even imagine how you may have been during that time that you took a step back :( but I’m glad that it allowed you to come back better! And honestly if you ever feel like that or even remotely near it, please take a step back! Once again you are most important! It makes me happy that you do have a place to vent and that you have so many lovely people that adore you! I know for me at least I love getting to know you and I love you!!! Wishing you the best my love!-💜

I've actually alluded to one of them several times, but I've been keeping it pretty well under wraps 🤭 overall. I can't remember when I added the outline to my document. I think she's going to be grumpy hehehehe 🤭

Grocery shopping was great. It's actually one of my favorite tasks. But prepping did not happen...I did a REALLY good job pre-covid. Covid happened and I was like "If I make one more meal I will kms" idk, I think i've mentioned I HATE dishes (hence why it's a main source of contention in my stories) and it sucks all the fun out of cooking for me. Baking is one of my favorites though (less dishes usually) also why it ends up being a theme in my stories hehehe

I think I'm having my own version of gifted kid burn out. I def wasn't gifted. I was just a good student (if that makes sense) like yeah, I just had good study habits and stamina to learn material, but idk if I'm all that intelligent lol. Mental health really is the pits lol. Ruins everything. Happy to give you words of encouragement. I think people who need it don't always hear it. Or maybe I try to encourage everyone on their own path because teaching 🤷‍♀�� regardless, you deserve encouragement 💕

The only time I feel like taking a step back from tumblr these days is when my engagement is kinda low :( I sort of spiral and I'm all "No one even cares that I'm writing this, I don't even need to post no one will care or notice. No one likes it" very like over the top dramatics lol But I hate coming up with names for stories and idk where I would put my stories otherwise if not here. Probs just sit on my laptop collecting dust. I will say, it's pretty cool to see how much I've written like I really can go on and on, can't I? 😂

I LOVE YOU TOO! 💕

xoxo

[girls-and-honey]

1, 3, 33, 40 ✨💗

here we gooo

1: what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

1. hmm okay definitely my parents (not always in a positive way but hey they ran my whole life as a child so it's hard not to be shaped by that) 2. creative hobbies, especially writing and music. they allowed me room to feel and explore and express and just have somewhere private that I didn't need to worry about messing up in an irredeemable way while I worked through my thoughts 3. tbh I have to credit tumblr as hilarious as I find this for two opposing reasons: this is where I started to see people's life experiences that weren't the same as mine and understand how varied the human experience is, AND where I found people's life experiences that were similar to mine that I could find community a feeling of belonging with

3: 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

I don't tend to watch movies that much but rewatch shows allll the time. this list is highly subject to change depending on the day but let's go with: 1. what happened to monday 2. 20,000 leagues under the sea 3. coherence

33: any hobbies?

oh so many hobbies, let me count the ways... but for real I need hobbies to survive and I love learning new things. so some of these I've gotten into for a few weeks before moving on and others have been (and will continue to be) life-long adventures. I'm just going to start listing: music!! I've played piano, a variety of mallet and auxiliary percussion, recorder (lol), violin, trumpet, and flute. I still play the piano every day but won't be able to starting next week bc I'm moving, so I decided I want to learn to play the harp next and I'm super excited for it!!! wow that reads more like a paragraph than a list oops, anyway other hobbies include sewing, writing, crochet, painting, I tried vector art for a bit, gardening (harder in an apartment), plant parenting (easier in an apartment), baking, and home canning. those are the ones that come to mind anyway!

40: any bad habits?

probably a lot that I don’t realize (who’s going to tell me) but off the top of my head I’m bad at doing dishes right away. I’m a little better with hand-wash dishes but dishwasher stuff... yeah idk why but it’s just not! that easy! even though it should be! I do make an effort to not let them get gross though, I’ll at least rinse something if it’s messy. I also crack my knuckles and my spine which some people say is a bad habit but I don’t think it’s a big deal. and like all creators of any kind I do sometimes lose interest in projects partway through and delay them or abandon them completely. but I think that’s less of a bad habit and more of the ~creative process~ so... yeah let’s stick with that 😅

questions I think it would be fun to be asked

[wooahaes]

gladiolus

pairing: non-idol!bang chan x gn!reader

prompt: ... your best friend from here.

word count: ~1.1k

warnings: chan gets embarrassed so hard he probably dies a little. also alcohol mention

(im sowwy im still new and i read in a few places that they dont really drink in order to focus on their career??? guess ill die!)

daisy’s notes: dont look at me and the fact im def not going to finish this series lmao i wanted to share this one bc him..............

also im so sorry if he legit doesnt drink bc ive never seen it mentioned??? i just think ‘accidentally confesses ur feelings to ur crush bc drunk’ is a fun trope im just a humble writer pls dont bully me too hard

There were plenty of things that Chan knew about you. He knew your favorite drink at your usual coffee shop. He knew your favorite desserts and the best place to get it when you were feeling down, because you told him once that good food always can help mend a bad mood--it rhymed, after all. He knew your little habits, like the way you’d drum your fingers against the table while you thought, or the little way that you’d count beats with a tap of your toes or a gentle pats on whoever was nearby (usually him) whenever you listened to music. All of these little things were endearing to him, truthfully, and he was pretty sure that was why he fell for you. You were sweet enough as it is, usually giving him a space to decompress when he needed to step out of the kind, selfless big-brother role he’d taken among his friends. He liked when he could step away from the world and just exist in the same space as you, crashing on your couch for a few hours while you droned on about work, playing with his hair sometimes just because you knew it’d soothe him.

All platonic things, he’d told himself for a while. He’d do the same for you, if you asked (and you never did, for some reason).

But Chan knew that you were okay on flowers. He knew that you thought gladioluses (gladioli? He never could find a real answer to which was right) were your favorite. So he took a page out of his friends’ books and brought a bundle to your home, swallowing his fears. It was about time he told you exactly how he felt. And if you turned him down, then he’d do whatever he could to salvage your friendship. You were his best friend and he wasn’t going to lose you just because he caught feelings.

When you opened the door, he blurted out his feelings right then and there. “I’ve had feelings for you for a really long time,” he said, “and I needed to tell you that. And I thought that I’d bring you these,” he looked down at the flowers, because you called them pretty once, and I... I never forgot that.”

You blinked at him, just standing there, confused for the longest time. “Wait. Chan... Do you mean we aren’t dating?”

He looked back at you immediately. “What?”

“Oh, Channie...” You sighed, stepping back. “Why don’t you come in?”

Befuddled, he did, because if you thought the two of you were dating, then he definitely fucked something up somewhere. Had he asked you out and forgotten about it with some spontaneous case of amnesia? He was pretty sure it didn’t work that way, but he stopped as you approached him, taking the flowers from him with the excuse of putting them into some water. Yet instead of going to sit on your couch as you had asked, he followed you to your kitchen.

He decided to ask you outright, “Why did you think we were dating?”

You shifted your weight from leg to leg, the sound of water filling a vase in front of you drowning out any awkward silence. “Remember when we went drinking last week?”

He did. He’d invited you out with all of his friends, and he remembered the way that they’d abandoned him to tease Felix about his new partner when he broke the news that they’d gone official after a few weeks of going on casual dates. Apparently, so did you, since you recounted all of it to him minus the whole “casual dating” part of it.

You continued, unwrapping tissue paper from the bouquet as you spoke, “You were drinking, and you started talking about how you were jealous of him. And... I dunno, you started talking about how we’d be cuter than him.”

Oh no.

“I asked you what you meant,” you continued on, unaware of the complete look of embarrassment on his face at what his drunk self had spilled to you, “and you said something about how we’d be SUCH a cute couple before you like... buried your face in my shoulder and called yourself a coward who couldn’t confess.”

“I what?!”

“You did!” You finally looked up at him, not commenting on how red his ears and face had become. “I asked you if you liked me and you said, and I quote, “I really really like you,” and it was really cute actually. I didn’t wanna push you any further, and... Changbin showed up and said he’d take your drunk ass home before you said anything stupid.”

Too late for that.

“And then I told you I’d text you the next morning.”

That much he remembered for sure. You’d asked him if he meant everything he said about how much he liked you, and Chan assumed that he didn’t confess his feelings and instead had gone off on one of his drunk friend rambles and told you how good of a friend you were to him.. again, since it wouldn’t have been the first. So he offhandedly told you that of course he meant it, and that he loved you a lot.

Which, in retrospect, was a mortifying way to respond.

“So when you asked to meet up...? Just the two of us?”

You smiled at him, leaning against your kitchen counter. “That was supposed to be a date.”

“Oh my god,” he buried his face in his hands, letting out a flustered whine. “This is embarrassing.”

“Didn’t you notice how many heart emojis I’ve been sending you? And the fact I kept calling you “babe” after you said it was fine?”

He tore his hands away from his face, skin still burning hot “I thought you were just being more affectionate!”

“I was!” You laughed, making your way over to him, “God, I was trying to be because you’re cute!” 

Before he could dwell on it too much more, you reached up, gently pulling him in to you. You leaned forward, hesitating just for a moment before you pressed a chaste kiss against his lips. His eyes went wide at the move, every thread of embarrassment tight enough to keep its choke hold on him as you pulled away with that cute smile on your face at how red his ears were turning.

Chan remembered to breathe a moment later, any attempts at acting suave in front of you long abandoned. “So... If we’re...” He cleared his throat. “I really think... we should call last week our day one. This one would be more embarrassing.”

You giggled, reaching up to brush his hair back from his face. “Oh, babe,” you said, “we’re definitely doing that.”

“So then...” He rested his hands at your waist, pulling you closer. “Can we... do that again?”

“Kiss?” You prompted, watching him shyly nod. You softly laughed. If only people knew how flustered he could get... Instead, you smiled at him a moment later, regaining your composure. “Only if you ask me properly.”

He turned his face away, giggling for a moment. “Okay,” he said, dragging out the word. “Can I please kiss you?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” you giggled, already leaning in.

He’d definitely tell the other story. Maybe this one would come out one day, but he’d settle for living in the moment and kissing you as much as he always wanted to.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Thoughts on headline lyrics?

HEADLINE - faith in the future (deluxe track?)

sometimes i wake up and i hear you through the silence

you let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness

so fast to judge in error

you thought you knew me better

so quick to kill forever

person he used to live with / spend a lot of time with, if he’s waking up to their absence

“pride” // “lost in your pride,” defenceless

“kindness” is a word we recognise ykyk

they had a falling out that went pretty personal - i thought i knew you / you misjudged me

they were committed to each other, but it’s over

chorus:

you used to read me like a headline

so many reasons now you're not mine

to read someone like a headline: negative connotation, especially considering louis’s life - detached, fragmented information - to judge by what someone else is writing or saying, not what’s coming from them / base an entire opinion on only part of the facts

OR, positive: you used to read me as easy as it is to read a headline - one look and you knew it all

is the person reading them like a headline one of the reasons they’re not theirs anymore? -> too quick to judge, think they knew the whole story?

-> esp. considering the next lines: 

maybe if you'd taken more time

i'd still be the one you wanna talk to every night

if you got in my head

you wouldn't be so scared of what you'd find

you used to read me like a headline

oh that's the reason now you're not mine anymore

you think i’m this bad person bc of the bits of info you’re basing your opinion on // the headlines (esp in the past) slandering louis’s image

you spent your summer working for your education

while i was running after dreams that kept us waiting

you never told me never

i guess i never knew we'd have the shortest forever

thought i could but i can't forget ya

(chorus)

you used to read me like a headline

(???) up and i wish you were beside me

louis the superstar going after his dreams, leaving his love behind at school/...

“shortest forever” <-> his usual love songs telling the story of a long-term relationship

thoughts

so i know i’m not making this post very official bc we haven’t heard the song yet, and i also prefer analysing songs in the context of the album, so this one’s just a quick overall opinion. when i first read it i was like... stunt song. then i was like, could there be lyrics in there that are about zayn? bc their falling out really went from a tight, brotherly bond, being together almost 24/7 to nothing. there’s obvs a lot there that went down that we don’t know about, but we’ve seen the pettiness and the judging. and we also know (very painfully) that it was like a breakup. 

buuuut ofc the song is def written to be more about a relationship, but then it also kind of doesn’t fit the eleanor narrative. there’s the education thing again, like with the uni mention in we made it, but their relationship is supposed to still be going (lol) and has been going on for ages as well. 

it fits in with louis’s previous songs in terms of the pride and silence, the lack of proper communication, waiting. perhaps the sound will tell us more, and that it fits more in with a habit kind of vibe, as in: louis asking the other to see his true colors, to let each other back in, give each other another chance. so far, by just reading it, the lyrics sound a bit harsh tho, so idk?? 

it could also be more figurative, and “you” is more directed at the general public, or at the kind of person that’s got him wrong and lost faith in him. 

of course, this song could still have been written by someone else for louis, or with louis, with the intention to just have that play on the whole “headline” thing, louis being famous and plagued by press and all <3 

[4dtk]

hi hi! Could you please do a mtl for nct127 to be into someone who looks intimidating but is a nice person? thank you so much!

thanks for the request anon! hope this does your request justice TT

disclaimer: these are just head canons, my own thoughts and are all in good fun. brief mention of sexual activity, but no explicit nsfw.

MOST

haechan

doyoung

yuta

taeil

jaehyun

taeyong

mark

johnny

jungwoo

LEAST

crazy into it, thinks its hot how different you are to your looks, curious:

HAECHAN eats it up. haechan’s mettle is unstoppable when it comes to pestering people, he would not cower one bit (maybe out of respect he’d keep his personality at bay) but warms up pretty quickly to you before your own expression relaxes into a benign one. curious to know why you’re so adamant on keeping a straight face, listens intently, generally wants to learn about it wholeheartedly and thinks it’s really cool. haechan also gets a kick out of your ability to intimidate anyone. he sometimes asks you to do your scariest stare and he literally shivers with exaggerated shoulders with a cheeky smile on his face.

DOYOUNG is intrigued, to say the least. at least that’s what i get from both haechan and doyoung. also gradually finds it hot the more he gets to know you, switching from talking to a stranger to talking sweetly with him. he admires your freedom to drive away the people that you don’t want talking to you, and wishes he had the courage like yuta usually does, but normally just uses his words to set boundaries. he’s okay with that, but he wished sometimes to be able to intimidate someone when they’re crossing lines, even if they’re a fan. through knowing you, he’s able to express himself more freely while also making sure he doesn’t get reprimanded by the company or something.

chill, doesn’t care much, understands why you do it, indifferent even:

YUTA is just on the verge of being somewhat meh about it. i can see yuta relating to it, but other than that, he’s pretty chill about it. it’s like a mutual understanding that the two of you arrive at when you introduce each other, him more than you since he’s taught to just be nice bc you never know when they’re a fan. when the relationship progresses, you learn that yuta occasionally does it too, even in normal situations. while doyoung gets the courage to act more on his true feelings and glare at whoever annoys him, yuta finds himself winding it down just a tad bit. he’s more neutral faced when he goes to airports and shows, obviously with the fans and you in mind.

TAEIL is little bit of everything like yuta and haechan, but leaning more towards the indifferent side. taeil doesn’t let his surprise show when you say hi with a well-mannered tone, and tends to think about your situation whenever he’s reminded of it. he’s chill after a few hangouts with you and briefly asks you questions here and there to just learn more about you and your habit before he carries on to do his own thing. when taeil really notices your habits, when you’re actually frustrated and angry, he’s on his way to talk to you and get you to loosen up but if you’re zoning out or just doing your usual RBF then he would hold your hand quietly until your features relax.

JAEHYUN is somewhat indifferent to it. sometimes interested, sometimes bothered like taeil is but is less like to act on it. jaehyun just carries out his normal greeting as always when he first gets to know you and is briefly taken aback when you introduce yourself with a gentle voice. it doesn’t take over his features for long, since his parents have taught him to always reply with respect. goes about his day normally, and unless your ‘switch’ is really drastic, he might not give much thought to it other than you having your own personal reasons to do it. an attraction to it might develop in the future when you get to know each other more, but i see it developing more in the bedroom and in more private times rather than in the mundane things that you do.

TAEYONG is a little lower on this one bc he will get intimidated, but not to the point of i-won’t-talk-to-them-at-all. he’s dealt with his members countless times. encountering many personalities, many situations that he approaches you with determination and is surprised to hear you speak and introduce yourself with a small smile on your face. he warms up quicker than mark does, but taeyong sets boundaries early into the relationship bc he doesn’t want to upset you despite your actual personality being otherwise. taeyong mostly lets you do the approaching because he doesn’t want to trigger something if you do happen to have a bad day.

lowkey doesn’t want to fuck with you even if you turn out to be nice (they just need time!!!):

MARK is in this group bc he’ll definitely feel that pressure whenever he sees you staring at him. he becomes really awkward and is kinda taken aback when you speak with a polite tone and voice. mark can’t exactly get the questions of why’s and how’s out of his head even after he meets you and when he learns that you just like to glare at things, he’s just like ??? he’ll try to understand but the poor boy tends to tense up a lot if you happen to be just zoning out on nothing. eventually he warms up to you, but it’s gonna take some time before his jaw unclenches bc he’s not sure whether you’re mad at him, or his members, or at your tv show.

JOHNNY accepts everyone, but he would find someone who’s exterior is always intimidating just… off? if that makes sense. it makes him feel a lil bit uneasy. it might be how you look or the way you want to present yourself but johnny being a sensitive person, even if he didn’t do anything wrong, would think that he did when you’re looking at him the way you are. he understands you’re a nice person, really! but the mans is generally very aware of his friends’ feelings and wouldn’t want to interfere unless you eventually loosen your features when you’re with him, and then he’ll try to make you smile more.

JUNGWOO recoils the first time he sees you, i don’t know. i feel so bad but there’s something that’s so intimidating about your stare that he immediately doesn’t do any of his jokes or something like that. it’s nothing against you, but he feels he would be safer if he held back and let you do the talking instead. shocked when you speak in a gentle, polite manner and jungwoo just feels awkward, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, etc. doesn’t fully relax with you in the room early in the relationship, he’s just hesitant if he happens to say the wrong thing or if you have a hidden agenda. and you def don’t! jungwoo just needs to hear the words from your mouth, you’ll need to be direct when engaging with jungwoo and he’ll get back into his bubbly self eventually.

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...

[alittlebitgoofy]

any headcanons you can share from the parenting au? 🤲

yes!! plenty! it's mostly just greentia and river and anubis and blackcherry for now but i've got tons of thoughts about them and i may end up expanding it to the whole of uk2/3

this ended up fucking long so i'll put it behind a thing

- whenever someone has to come up to the school it is always veronica bc tia would not know how to respond and would just stare at them like this child is completely fine what (river has a habit of getting into trouble bc she calls shit out constantly, veronica always backs her up)

- as opposed to this anubis very rarely gets told off bc she's usually pretty attentive, or just plainly not paying attention but quiet enough to where the teacher doesn't care, joe has had to come in once or twice but she just stares them down like this child has no bad bones in their body what the fuck

- river swears like a sailor, definitely lawrence and ellie's influence after they babysat one too many times, veronica constantly tries to curb it but she gives up after a while, tia thinks they should let an 11 year old say fuck because she's mature enough to

- lawrence and ellie def do babysit river sometimes and she loves them dearly bc they let her get away with a ton more than ronnie does, lawrence is both confused and absolutely understands how she's veronica and tia's kid bc she's the biggest nerd but she's also socially competent

- ellie gives her energy drinks it does not end well, river develops one hell of a caffeine resistance by the time she's in her late teens

- lawrence, tia, river and sometimes ronnie and ellie all watch doctor who together when there's specials that air and they have a ton of snacks and it's one of the best nights

- how joe manages to raise a child is a mystery to everyone but anubis is literally a carbon copy of her maybe minus the swearing, somehow she came out barely saying fuck despite the amount joe does and cherry not being adverse to saying shit

- anubis has a sea themed bedroom they customised when they were a kid and refuses to get it changed bc it's fucking awesome, river does in fact bully her for it but she secretly thinks it's adorable

- speaking of sea creatures there is a large collection of plushies, anubis's favourite being the ikea shark that's almost as big as river

- river feels no fear with horror films bc of the doctor who but she gets freaked out by weird shit (@plegdoctor bagpuss fic kinda vibes, bagpuss is fucking creepy)

- as opposed to anubis who loves horror movies but always always falls for the jumpscares and screams, she loves it but she always ends up clinging to a blank faced river at the end of a film

- they watch shrek 1 and 2 so many fucking times anubis can recite them from memory, river watches it at least twice a week usually more and will not let anubis skip it no matter what, they have to watch it together fairly often too

- they also watch a crap ton of cheesy horror movies and the hannah montana movie a lot

- anubis literally towers over both of her parents and everyone thinks it's hilarious, joe and cherry are both quite small and the 6'4 child is something to behold, she hits a growth spurt around 13 and just SHOOTS up at a very alarming rate and goes from kind of tall to fucking giant why is she that tall

- as opposed to river who while being taller than veronica can never hope to compare to tia, she would use that to be intimating but tia is shit at punishing anything and normally caves to whatever river asks

- veronica is an anxious mess of a parent who doesn't want anything wrong to happen to her baby ever and tia kind of has to be the voice of reason like hey she's smart she'd tell you if anything happened but she also does worry especially in river's teen years

- also they have family puzzle and musical nights, it's the nerdiest fucking thing and river would never tell anyone but anubis does find out and thinks it's the cutest thing ever

- joe's a very chill parent, believes in kids learning by doing, anubis has a lot of minor accidents as a kid and joe would always check her over and let her go back to what she was doing....unless there's anything sharp involves she's not allowed near sharp objects until she's like 14 bc she almost cut her hand off once

- cherry is the responsible parent and the reason the two of them are still alive but she trusts anubis not to make any too stupid decisons, and if anything does happen veronica is usually around who would take care of anubis at the drop of a hat if anything came up

- they basically have two kids, river and joe have a werid bond that everyone is a bit confused about but she's absolutely part of the family and ronnie and tia adore anubis bc they're always polite and a good influence on river

- river does have a rebellious phase and tia has to hold her tounge bc she's literally a miniature veronica at that age

- anubis never rebels and joe genuinely encourages her to at least once be angry at her parents or do anything a generic teenager would but she's just sat there contently drinking tea and reading and joe realises she raised an old lady in a kids body

- they have weekly sleepovers and take it in turns who's house, veronica always wants to check on them but tia drags her away to just let them chill, also bc she doesn't want to her river complaining about her mum never giving her space for the 1000th time (that is an issue and they work on it)

- as opposed to joe and cherry who let them do whatever and just shout when dinner is ready, sometimes cherry comes in offering snacks, a lot of baked things like cookies and cake that no one can turn down

- when joe and cherry first say they're adopting a child their friends freak tf out wondering how that kid is gonna come out knowing cherry tends to work long shifts and joe is barely able to take care of herself

- as opposed to veronica and tia who just get a "yeah we figured it would happen eventually" (they use a donor bc veronica wants to give birth to a child, like her mother river ends up with asthma)

- cats, both families have pets, klaus is a very spoilt little guy in jumpers who's always around anubis waiting for some attention bc he knows they can't say no, if river's staying over the two of them are attached at the hip

- another thing me and @plegdoctor discussed is heather the cat, she's veronica's cat more than anything but she's very fond of river, and tia is ronnie isn't in but she'll always run for veronica first or river when she comes home from school

i think i got a bit carried away lol

[spidersbane]

hi could I get a ship for Harry Potter if you’re still doing them? (preferably male if that’s ok)

I’m 5’4”, my favourite season is winter and I absolutely adore the the snow (like it’s seriously one of my favourite things ever and idk why it just always had been.) I like fall too but that’s pretty much only for Halloween. My favourite smell is rain and freshly baked cinnamon buns. I want to have a “seize the day” mindset but I tend to overthink things. I really just want to escape and go on an adventure. I’m a huge dreamer at heart. I’m an extrovert but I have anxiety so it gets hard and I end up being a wallflower a lot of the time. I get really excited over stupid things and I tend to talk really fast when I get excited or passionate about something. I’m kinda stubborn (well maybe a teeny bit more than kinda.) I’m playful, caring and sarcastic, and I’d like to think I have a good sense of humour. I want to get into reading but I tend to sike my self out because of how many books there are to read and so I end up reading none. I have impostor syndrome and I have a habit of isolating myself when my mental health gets bad. I’m really curious and fun-loving -and I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I’m an ENFP if that helps? umm shoot what else? I honestly just want someone to run around with and who makes me feel at home. Someone who makes me feel good enough and makes me smile :) my pronouns are she/her btw

Hi my love @melonoptimist ! I’m so so sorry this took over a week to get to you. College/university is beyond stressful, esp bc it’s exam week and I’m prepping hard for that. So here’s your request, if you’re still interested. But thank you for being so patient with me nonetheless.

For Harry Potter (Golden Era) - I ship you with George Weasley ! 

i’m dramatic as hell and so soft for George Weasley but that’s beside the point anyways 

George is a huge ‘seize the day’ kind of guy, given that he was willing to leave school w Fred to do what he really wanted, so he’d be able to bring that side out of you a little more, getting you into his antics 

that said, he’s not the type to push you if you wanna be a wallflower; even he needs breaks from time to time, so he gets it, but he would give you your space when you needed it without letting you isolate yourself either

never! apologize! for! your! interests! - anyhow, George would never get annoyed at you talking about things you’re interested in. he would def look at you all starry-eyed, wanting to know more about what you’re interested in, esp if you’re coming from the muggle world ! he’d think it’s neat 

all around, George is a nice balance between outgoing and reserved and his balanced personality would play off of yours really really well 

For Harry Potter (Marauders Era) - I ship you with Sirius Black !

this might be a little more based on fanon Sirius than canon but bear w me, it’ll make sense 

so Sirius is def more loud and boisterous and usually the center of attention, so i’m not sure he even knows what being a wallflower means, but this isn’t bad! it just means at parties, he’ll let you stay on the outside until you’re comfortable, but eventually he’s gonna wanna dance 

he might dance badly, but pls indulge him, you’ll love it 

on a more serious note, Sirius knows a lil smth about rough mental health, so he understands when you’re having your bad days, but he also knows what it’s like to feel alone, so he won’t let you isolate too much 

he’d rather be w you in the quiet than have you be alone and there’s smth to be said for that 

lastly, being w Sirius also means being a part of the Marauders & Co., so there will be plenty of laughter, hijinks, and chances to see what’s really out there, bc lets be real, they all have a curiosity bone in their bodies 

[honeybelon]

honey’s totally amazing holiday break [ pre - nye ]

she had a totally awesome break and is not using the new years party to make herself feel better :) 

one of the last few people to leave. not because she’s hesitating on whether to go back but because she’s just lazy to book flights home, even in the midst of the holiday rush.

and also, some ‘last minute holiday shopping’ at roseville. she fell back into old habits whenever she was in a funk and the semester itself was one funk after another. like something was off. maybe it was honey herself, but she shook that off when laid out with the options in front of her. 

locals and tourists alike, pockets and bags filled with whatever baubles and currency they could stuff in it. even with such a small town, honey had more than enough experience to subtly pick some pockets and make off with about four-hundred dollars to spare. enough to give her the same high she experienced when she was younger, when there was more ‘adventure’ to be held with her grandparents. 

even if her grandmother keeps saying that they were good now. that they were legitimate.

needless to say, she spent most of it on gifts to be given to friends including: a maroon trench coat for bea ( @beafitz ) ( that reminded her of the same coats in assasination nation and bea would def be part of her gang if she started one ), a bracelet with various colored gems on it for ria ( @riaflicke ) which are actually not crystals but shattered pieces of wine bottles fashioned into gems ( she’ll lowkey wait if ria figures it out or not lmao ) and matching christmas ornaments for her roommates from a local crafter in roseville ( @kassamigos , @swiiftbladcs , @jas-michaud ) because they seemed like such artsy gals to her and she wanted to look sophisticated even though the only sophisticated thing she thought she had were her calligraphy skillz.

once she’s home though, it’s lights and foods and the three of them - her and her grandparents - celebrating christmas the way they’ve always celebrated it. 

they go to church, which has always entertained honey because of who and what they’ve done as a family, but what the priest doesn’t know won’t hurt him :) 

after that they go home, eat a lot of food, talk about anything and everything (unless it was a secret) and wait for midnight where they open presents. her grandmother has gifted her a special kind of weapon: a bolo necklace made of thermo-wire that doubles as a garrote ( it’s what violet had as a weapon on teen wolf!!! im uncreative!! ), while her grandfather had fashioned a strap for those knives he had gifted her at the beginning of the school year. 

honey had brought them their gifts: a pair of shoes for her grandmother and a joji’s new album on vinyl for her grandfather because he’ll only take her music recs if he can listen to it on their lil mustard colored player in the living room.

usually, she wouldn’t be so glum. after all, there was nothing sad about the holidays for her. she’s always spent it with her grandparents and even if there was the incident from last summer with her estranged older sister, her grandparents spent their christmas the same way they always did with her: happy and content. 

but looking at them, how happy they were. even if walter gets the notes wrong on the little duets he and mona did on the piano. even if mona complains about almost every other thing when they’re in the kitchen doing stuff. they love each other, honey could see that quite clearly. her grandparents’ love were the greatest example of romantic love she’d seen in all her life. 

and that’s when it hit her. she was jealous. honey wanted a love like that. and admitting that right then and there as she watched them sing “together, one sweet day, loving you always..” and she held a breath.

it’s never been something she let herself feel before. after all, honey had mostly spent her time not dating people. and even if she was, it was mostly for show, never to actually have feelings for another person. 

but it was enough for her to stare out her window come christmas morning and her grandfather tried to comfort her, which only prompted her to tell him more of her past experiences with love. even if she’s not proud of it. like sleeping with scott even though he was dating somebody else. 

“am i a bad person? is this what i get for being a bad person?” “if you’re a bad person, then me and your lola are also bad. and we get to love each other.” “i don’t think that’s helping, lolo.” “you’re not a bad person, nora.” 

anyway, she still feels a lil glum bc she single n lonely but her lolo tried her best to cheer her up.

but she’s back in gallagher early to party!!! happy new years fellas!!!

[burkelucas]

[ LUCAS BURKE. 24. MALE. HE/HIM. ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 2 YEARS ] and are originally from [ OSHKOSH, WISCONSIN ]. They are a [ TRADER JOE’S EMPLOYEE ] and in their downtime love [ STREAMING ON TWITCH ] and [ WATCHING THE BEE MOVIE ]. They look a lot like [ FINN COLE ] and live [ ON REDCLIFF ST ].

before moving to silver lake, lucas had never lived outside of the midwest. other than a few weekend trips to minneapolis & chicago, vacations for the burkes were usually more of the camping variety.

moved out to california to meet his online bff, darren (npc for now but..... mayhaps a wc in the future??), who he’s known since high school. tbh they probably met while playing call of duty or smth since it was like 2011 jfnjsdm

but, speaking of high school, lucas just about flunked his senior year bc his attendance was atrocious. it took a lot of finagling on his mom’s part, but he did get to walk and received his diploma.

so uh yeah, college? never heard of her...... .....

he’s a leo & estp (check out his pinterest here!)

his moral alignment is still up in the air, but i imagine he’s a chaotic Something since lucas genuinely thought he’d create the next jackass as a kid.

essentially spent every summer from ages 9-12 with his older brothers duct taping cushions to him & zipping him up in sleeping bags before rolling him off the roof or whipping hockey pucks in his direction. thankfully, they all grew out of their wannabe steve-o phases before too many bones were broken, but the video evidence lives on

instead, lucas has moved on to wanting to become a successful twitch streamer. he has a decent following, but he’s nowhere close to quitting his job at trader joe’s and he’s def not delusional enough to think he’ll ever be an ~iNFluEnCEr~ with tesla money ok

he has a bad habit of accidentally leaving his stream running & his mic cuts out more often than not, but lets call his tech stupidity part of his Charm

lucas would really just be happy grinding in stardew valley for 12hrs a day if he could

lives on redcliff street with a few fellow youtubers

practically lives off gummy snacks & trader joe’s frozen foods alone

has a mild almond allergy, but there’s a good chance it’s just psychosomatic since lucas first claimed to be allergic when he wanted brownies with chocolate chunks rather than chopped nuts

100% always pronounces almonds like kristen wiig in the target lady snl sketch

adopted a kitten shortly after moving to silver lake, who now only responds to ‘fresh’ after lucas insisted on always referring to him as ‘a fresh cat’ instead of ever picking a real name.

useless talents include kicking ass at charades & perfect fire pit building

a tru steve buscemi luvr (pinned tweet on his acc)

responds to ‘loogie’ faster than he ever would luke. his friends & family used to call him ‘lukey’ but it quickly morphed in an unfortunate direction.

decently reliable & good at keeping long-term employment, but has a wicked lazy streak.

totally hates being the last one to find something out, whether it’s group plans or just general knowledge/gossip -- the curse of youngest sibling syndrome

and that’s just about it for now, i think!! other than roommates, since his housing sitch is pretty solid, lucas could really use any & all connections -- shoot me a message if you want to plot and/or figure out something for the vday event 💖

[dirt-grub]

Oki so I’m realizing with the way my hectic schedule is I might fall back into old bad eating habits like in high school so if you see me posting later on jokingly about how oops I forgot to eat you have my full permission in future to yell at me to eat (but like not in an actually mean way lol just be like CONNOR! EAT FOOD! And I’ll be like AH u right) bc i barely ate dinner last night and i just realized i didnt eat breakfast or lunch either and i do not want to make a habit out of that 

Little more under the cut but it’s a little bit of a sensitive topic so I’ll separate it :3

Between adhd and the medications I’m on reducing my appetite it could be dangerous for me to make this a habit again, when I was really struggling with depression on top of that it was getting to the point where I was skipping every meal I could get away with. I lost 20 pounds in two months and I’m a small dude that’s really bad yknow if I had kept on like that I could’ve ended up going to the ER (which I’m surprised didn’t happen actually I was dead on my feet on the verge of fainting all the time) and idk i was never diagnosed with any sort of disordered eating but i def have problems and repeat bad patterns when it comes to skipping meals 

So yea I’m being precautious I think I can handle my own bad habits for the most part but even if I can get reminders not to skip one meal every once in a while (bc it’s never really good to skip meals no matter who you are!) that would be helpful :)

I’m making this post bc I realized that with my schedule the way it is with a 6pm-9pm class that makes it very easy for me to accidentally miss dinner, which is usually the meal I couldn’t avoid in high school. I never ate breakfast and took a ton of classes to avoid lunch so like if I start going down that road again where I’m skipping meals regularly it would absolutely be worse I could potentially starve myself for days and not even realize (I don’t think skipping meals on purpose will be a problem anymore, that was a depression/inferiority complex thing and I have that pretty under control but I still have trouble bc of the meds and adhd and all that) like eating once every 24 hours isn’t good obviously but eating once every 48 is so much worse

So yeah I’m not THAT worried about it getting to such a bad point but still if y’all see me back on my bullshit say something! I won’t get mad! Lunch will probably be the only issue bc I have a great breakfast schedule (given we actually have food in the house which we haven’t the past few days so I’ve been having like, hella peanut butter) and dinner for the most part will be like made regardless of if I’m there to eat it (plus I can’t fall asleep hungry usually) so lunch is the most likely to be skipped as an oh I’m busy I’ll just wait till dinner kind of thing sooo yeah if I post about not eating tell me to get some fruit or smth if it wouldn’t be too much trouble! Thank y’all :3

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!