#I landed on a 95% after like 35 minutes

[dentist-brainsurgeon]

Do you ever physically feel something in ya brain when you're learning

[neproxrezi]

Are you participating in the proposed dbd boycott to get them to do a game health update?

yeah, i wasn't sure at first caus "dont play the video game for a brief period" isn't going to work but "this company has put all its eggs in one basket and they are frankly quite neglectful of said basket, everyone stop buying anything ingame for 3 months" has me interested

more than 'fix the bugs' or anything else like that what i want to see out of the game is them being less god damn stingy with cosmetics (you should not have to pay $10 for ONE FUCKING COSMETIC) and addressing the grind. holy shit the grind in this game is so rough and it could be fixed fairly simply (i'm in favour of removing perk tiers, to cut a long post short)

hold on im gonna complain about dbd under a cut caus itll get long, i love this game so much but oh boy it has issues

it's been said a million times already but dbd's grind made more sense when there were like 4 or 5 characters per side, there are now over 20 and each new one introduces 3 perks to each side

I want to write about the grind in this game for a moment. There are 95 survivor perks in DBD. Every perk has three tiers. Some of them are great, and many are kind of pointless. Realistically, I'd bet you're only going to see about 15 of those perks in action in most of your games. However, if you unlock a perk to be taught to other survivors (which I tend to do even if I don't particularly want it, out of a mix of completionism and a 'may as well get it out of the way' kind of thing), you can't get rid of it. It's in your bloodwebs forever. 95 perks. 285 perk tiers. Let's talk about how long that takes to claim.

You buy a new character in the next chapter. You have every teachable perk unlocked. The new chapter really excited you, and you want to claim every perk on the new character (who I am going to name... Doug), so you saved a lot of bloodpoints in advance. In fact, you played for days and days and saved the cap, which is a million bloodpoints. You buy Doug, after much excited testing him out in the PTB. You spend all million points on Doug. Doug is now about level 35 to 40, out of 50. Hm. Well, time to keep playing. The bloodwebs kind of gave you a bunch of crap stuff on Doug, and you don't feel like running Power Struggle, Ace in the Hole, Babysitter and Breakdown, so you can't play Doug yet. You go play someone else.

Solo queuing as survivor is a mixed bag, and your games range from getting 10,000 bloodpoints (pretty rough game where everyone got wiped) to 27,000 (a great match, maybe with a bloodpoint offering). You save enough to get Doug to level 50. In the later levels, you start being able to get two perks a level instead of one. Let's say from level 1 to 50, you collect a total of 65 perks, because I don't remember exactly when it starts offering 2 per level. Okay, there are 220 perk levels left. Because of the game's propensity for giving you the same perk over and over to get you lots of perks at level 2 out of 3, of those 65 perk tiers you've probably got something like 20 to 25 actual perks. You're missing like, 70. Best case scenario, the ones you picked up include a lot of what you want. Most likely, you've got like half a good build and some gimmicky crap to slot in alongside it. Worst case scenario, which has happened to me plenty of times, you have like maybe one good perk and a pile of gimmicky crap. So. How long is it going to take you to get what you want?

There are 220 perk levels to go. After level 50, the webs are all the same size. It costs about 50,000 points to level up, and you get two perk levels per bloodweb. That's going to be 110 webs to get everything for Doug. Which is 5.5 million bloodpoints. Oh no. How many points were you earning per game again?

If you play with friends, you're probably going to do better. I find this to be true even if me and my friends are playing without voice comms or anything, because I just sort of know these people a bit better. I know my friend who mains Lisa Garland is a hook-diving bastard, so I don't need to go rescue anyone. Ace, god bless him, makes batshit altruistic plays, so I certainly don't need to go protect my teammates when he's out there doing things like this. I think I'm just going to sit on generators in the distance, think about our final gen spread, and try get us out of here. I'd say if I'm playing well, and accounting for offerings and WGLF stacks, with friends I average 30,000 a match and by myself I average 20,000. Playing killer I average more like 60,000, but playing killer is a bit stressful sometimes and I'm very indecisive about actually queuing up for it, so I probably actually get bp faster as survivor. I'm going to call the average per match across everything 25,000, because for every good game there are plenty where you underperform, or things just go drastically wrong. To earn 5.5 million points like that, you're going to have to play 220 matches. A game, including queue times and whatnot, can take ten to twenty minutes. That's... that's going to take a while. And that's ONE CHARACTER.

Now, on the survivor side you only really need to do this once. They're all just reskins of the same gameplay loop. On the killer side, you need to re-earn those perks for every new character you want to try out, because they're all different. Miiiiillions and millions of points. Hundreds of games. I have no problem with the game having a grind, but at this point it's absolute insanity.

In my opinion, removing perk tiers would cut the grind down to a reasonable level. There'd still be a grind, which I'm completely comfortable with existing, but it wouldn't be excruciatingly long, and you wouldn't have to spend as long dealing with bad perks.

HOWEVER, on top of that is the fact that they just. Holy shit the game updates slowly. I don't want to blame them for that in a way of like "these developers are incompetent and lazy", I really do love DBD to bits and I'm sure they do work very hard on it. That said, its update cycle is really slow. Reeaally slow. I wish they either had a bigger team, made balance updates faster (a handful of perk adjustments once every six weeks is... very very slow) or something to just try make the changes faster. Even when things do change it always feels so anxious and tentative, I wish they'd experiment more often. The time they disabled bloodlust to see what happened was really cool!

Yeah in short I just hope the grind gets addressed more than anything else, caus that's the part I actually think there's a relatively straightforward solution to. Also, I never got to play the older events where you could do shit like earn cosmetics, but they sounded way fucking cooler than the new ones. The halloween one last year was absolute shit, it's weird that their special events would get worse over time rather than better.

Buuut I agree with Scott Jund that the Resident Evil chapter was bad news for DBD's long term health because the one thing that would really give BHVR a kick up the ass is competition, and every time they land an amazing licensed chapter they become harder to compete with. They have an absolute monopoly on asymmetrical horror, and I honestly think the game would be in a better state right now if they had some competition >:[

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

And into the cavalry battle we go! Can’t believe this is gonna take three whole chapters to get through… sports festival feels way too long already, man, and I’m only a handful of chapters into it...

[No. 28 - Strats, Strats, Strats]

We start off with Shouto speaking to his team, explaining that he chose them in order to make the most stable formation. Kaminari will guard the left and keep people away with his electricity. Yaomomo takes the right, makes the insulator, and shields and supplements their movements. Tenya takes the lead, since his mobility and physical stature make for good defense. 

One of them (I think Tenya?) asks if Shouto will hold people off with his ice and fire. Shouto doesn’t reply right away, instead looking over to the stands - more specifically, towards where Endeavor is watching from. He tells them no, in battle, he refuses to use his left side.

Huh, they do have the same eyes here. Wind dude kind of has a point. 

As the teams stand along the outside of the perimeter of the battle arena, Present Mic does a final, rhetorical check to make sure the teams are formed and are ready to go, then announces the start of the countdown to the battle royale. We jump around a bit as the countdown is given: Monoma tells Tetsu^4 no hard feelings, which Tetsu returns. Toshinori watches on from the stands. 

We see team Bakugou and team Todoroki in formation and ready to go, both of them focused on a single target. Izuku himself has gotten over most of his nerves and now is focused on the moment. All of them have their point totals given and also broken down by members of the team, in case you weren’t able to do the math yourself from the previous chapters. 

Since Hori is giving the team point breakdowns for our three main teams anyways, this is where I want to insert the team and point totals for all the teams, from most to least points on the headbands:

Team Midoriya [10,000,325 P]: Midoriya [10M] + Uraraka [135] + Tokoyami [180] + Hatsume [10]

Team Tetsutetsu [705 P]: Tetsutetsu [165] + Honenuki [190] + Awase [155] + Shiozaki [195]

Team Bakugou [665 P]: Bakugou [200] + Kirishima [170] + Ashido [120] + Sero [175]

Team Todoroki [615 P]: Todoroki [205] + Iida [185] + Yaoyorozu [130] + Kaminari [95]

Team Mineta [420 P]: Mineta [125] + Shouji [145] + Asui [150]

Team Hagakure [330 P]: Hagakure [25] + Jirou [110] + Satou [140] + Kouda [115]

Team Monoma [305 P]: Monoma [35] + Tsuburaba [100] + Kuroiro [65] + Kaibara [105]

Team Shinsou [295 P]: Shinsou [80] + Ojiro [160] + Shouda [50] + Aoyama [5]

Team Kendo [225 P]: Kendo [75] + Tokage [20] + Komori [45] + Yanagi [85]

Team Kodai [165 P]: Kodai [60] + Bondo [90] + Fukidashi [15]

Team Rin [125 P]: Rin [55] + Shishida [70]

Team Tsunotori [70 P]: Tsunotori [30] + Kamakiri [40]

Have fun keeping track of points in the canon event, or mix stuff up for your own teams if you wanna do alt teams or whatever. Anywho, moving on, as Mic announces the start of the match.

And of course, it’s no surprise that several of the teams immediately rush Izuku’s team, even though I feel like it makes way more sense for them to hang back and wait until there’s only a few minutes left in order to actually take the points. But I suppose competitiveness and all that. More specifically, it’s team Tetsu^4 and team Hagakure after team Midoriya first.

Tetsu is the first to acknowledge (loudly) that the whole match is really a fight for the ten million, and everyone knows it. Hagakure herself is just eager to be going after Izuku, which is inch resting. Competitive, she do be. 

Tokoyami notes the two teams incoming and ready to attack, and checks with Izuku (in his own way) what their response will be. While the girls are a bit in wonder at Tokoyami’s choice of words, Izuku says that of course they’ll be running away. Honenuki, no doubt hearing this, attempts to prevent them from moving by causing the ground under them to soften into a gloop that they start to sink into. 

Oh no, quicksand! Too bad it’s not movie quicksand. Izuku quickly realizes whose quirk it is (I think) and tells Ochako and Mei to turn away for a second. Then, once they do, he turns on the jetpack, and they all go flying up and out of the pit trap and over the heads of the teams going after them. Tetsu realizes that the support girl must have provided the tools for flying, still focused on going after them. Hagakure calls for Jirou to try and stop them, with Jirou sending out her earjacks to try and keep them from getting away - only for Dark Shadow to smack away the jacks, allowing team Midoriya to make a clean escape.

Tokoyami tells Dark Shadow well done, and to cover the teams’ blind spots. Dark Shadow accepts the task with great enthusiasm, twisting around to watch behind all of them. Izuku takes a moment to gush over Tokoyami’s quirk, talking about how its defensive power was just what they needed, and how now the team is covered at midrange from every direction. Tokoyami is the one to point out how Izuku is the one who chose him. 

Ochako gives her team warning before they land, with her boots (from Mei) being the first to hit the ground with a poof of dust blown away from her landing site. Mei asks how Izuku is liking her babies, bragging about how cute they are and how she made them that way. Izuku complements the mobility they’re giving the team and Mei’s work in general, leading to her gushing more. Meanwhile, Izuku reveals in his thoughts that Ochako had made everyone except herself weightless, so that all the weight that’s being carried is her plus their clothes and equipment. 

Ochako, meanwhile, is a bit put out that Izuku hasn’t gushed over her part in all this, because the only part he gushed over her about was internal. Izuku, you should have complemented her work out loud as well, you dummy.

Team Hagakure prepares themselves to go after Izuku again, only for Sato to notice something important - the headband she was wearing is gone! Hagakure is shocked and freaked out, trying to figure out when and how it happened. Meanwhile, Monoma and his team are heading away, Monoma spinning said headband around his finger as he says to consider him an opportunist. 

We get a bit of an overhead view of a number of the teams running around the battlefield (which was very helpful in putting together the team listings). Present Mic states that two minutes have just passed, but the battlefield is already chaotic. Everyone’s scrambling for headbands, but there isn’t just the ten million out there! Other high rankers are also worth a shot as well. 

Just as an overview here, we see team Tetsu^4 and team Hagakure are still going after team Midoriya, with Shouji just there in the corner of the textbox approaching from behind as well. Teams Rin and Shinsou are rushing at each other, as are team Todoroki and team Kendo. Team Mindoriya, meanwhile, just seems to be trying to get out of the way on foot.

Shouji (or is it Mineta hiding inside the ‘bunker’ made by Shouji’s dupliarms?) laughs a bit, saying how this isn’t a scramble, but a one-sided massacre. Yeah, in retrospect, that sounds way more like Mineta. But also, Izuku thinking Shouji’s alone, even though this event is a cavalry battle, so maybe it was him? Eh, whatever. Tokoyami notes that they have to keep their distance, since fighting multiple foes is a bad idea. However, that plan goes a bit awry when Ochako steps on what turns out to be one of Mineta’s quirk balls, causing her to become stuck in place. Izuku quickly tries to determine where Mineta is, only to be surprised when he sees Mineta hiding inside Shouji’s dupliarm bunker. 

Someone (maybe Ochako?) asks if that’s legal, which Midnight confirms it is. As if that’s not enough, Tsuyu, also on Shouji’s back, lashes out with her tongue, just missing both Izuku and Tetsu thanks to their timely dodges. As she retracts her tongue, she complements Izuku’s dodging; Izuku wonders how many people Shouji has hiding on his back. 

Tsuyu quickly reminds Izuku to use her first name, but probably isn’t heard since team Midoriya make a strategic retreat back into the sky - breaking one of the hoverboots in the process, unfortunately. Present Mic comments on how team Mineta using the size difference of its members to form what can be more considered a tank than anything. Mei is distressed at the destruction of her baby, with Ochako apologizing but noting that they got away.

Too bad someone was prepared for their second takeoff, and really, really wants those points.

Izuku: Oh fuck I’m gonna die.

Katsuki, looking pretty gremlin-y, as per the norm, yells how Izuku is getting pretty damn full of himself (which is hilarious in its irony.) Izuku quickly calls for Tokoyami to react, and Dark Shadow takes the explosive blow meant for Izuku despite the massive discomfort in its expression. Katsuki is confused, but has no time to make a second attempt, as Sero tossed his tape and latches onto him, pulling him right back into the waiting arms of his team. 

Present Mic wonders whether leaving one’s unit is allowed, which Midnight confirms is allowed on a technicality - aka his feet didn’t touch the ground. In the staff booth, Death Arms comments on how those class A kids sure are something else. In the crowds, people comment on how it’s fun to watch, what with all the flashy moves, and that it’s just the level the kids are at after fighting real villains. 

Present Mic cuts back with with more commentary, stating how both the doggedly pursued first place team and the determined pursuers from class A are nothing to sneeze at. He then draws attention to the current standings, asking rhetorically how said teams are doing after seven minutes of play. There’s a moment of silence, the crowds and the two in the announcement booth shocked as they actually register the standings.

Why, it looks like almost all the points are being held by teams from class 1b! What a plot twist!

Monoma sweeps by, grabbing the headband right off of Katsuki, as he comments on how it’s too simple, really. Katsuki demands the head back back, threatening Monoma with death, while Mina comments on how easily he caught them by surprise. 

Monoma goes into a bit of a monologue on how Midnight’s announcement of the first event made it obvious that the number of participants wouldn’t be thinned that much in a preliminary. It wasn’t a stretch to imagine that a good number of students would be advancing to the next event - around forty or so. It was really the perfect opportunity to hold back and observe their soon-to-be-rivals’ quirks and tendencies, so it was only fair they ended up placing more modestly. 

Kirishima asks if the whole class was in on it. Monoma says that no, not everyone was, but it wouldn’t have been a bad idea, instead of aiming for some fleeting first place, like a horse going for a dangling carrot. Meanwhile, team Bondo approaching as well. How is Katsuki taking all this?

Not great. And of course, because Monoma has no chill, he turns back to give Katsuki a mocking look, commenting on how Katsuki’s already a celebrity - the victim of the sludge incident! He’ll have to ask sometime, how does it feel to be attacked by villains on an annual basis?

RIP Monoma, you fucking dead. Katsuki tells Kirishima there’s a change of plan. As Monoma glances back at him curiously, we see that Katsuki has gone completely feral and around the bend, and is probably actually going to murder a man by the end of this. Katsuki’s plan? Before going after Deku, he’s gonna murder every last member of Monoma’s team.

Izuku, apparently overhearing Monoma’s monologue, notes how class 1b threw the qualifiers and planned for the long game. Even before the sports festival, he had the impression that they were stronger than they seemed, and that they want to end class 1a’s supremacy. On the other hand, because of that, they aren’t quite so deadset on targeting Izuku. 

Izuku starts to talk to his team about how it shouldn’t be too hard to evade - only to be cut off both physically and verbally by team Todoroki getting in front of them. As Present Mic announces the match being halfway over already, Izuku takes a deep breath and recenters himself, stating how it won’t be quite that easy. Shouto states kind of menacingly that they’re coming for him; other teams are shown briefly reaction to the loss of points in their own ways. 

We close out on Present Mic noting that class B is on the rise, but in the end, who will wear the ten million point crown?

Anywho, glad to finally have that chapter done, even if there’s still two more before we get through this second event and finally move on to the finals. At the least, this sports festival stuff has actually gotten me thinking about the reasoning behind the decisions made for the entrance exam and sports festival, which I will probably end up making posts for after this arc is over.

See y’all next time! Character sheet will be up in just a moment. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “ATE”?

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Ramen.

2. Do you have a gate to your backyard? Yeah.

3. Who’s your best mate? My mom.

4. How often do you mate? Have sex? Never have.

5. What would you use as bait on a fishing hook? I wouldn’t even go fishing let’s be real, but fine if I did I’d use worms or whatever I guess alkjfklfjklf. I wouldn’t be the one to put it on, though!

6. What do you bate your breath with? Any anxious situation. 

7. What’s the last thing you got in a crate? I don’t get things in crates.

8. When’s the last time you went on a date? Where did you go? Almost 5 years ago. It was a cute coffee and bookstore date with Ty. That was our favorite thing to do.

9. Do you believe in fate? No.

10. Have you ever seen a freight train in person before? Yeah.

11. Do you like grated cheese? Yesss.

12. Do you have an awkward gait? As a paraplegic, no I do not. Everything else about me is awkward, though.

13. When’s the last time you truly felt great? When I was a kid.

14. Who do you hate? Besides myself, no one.

15. Do you know of anyone named Kate or Nate? No.

16. When’s the last time you were late for something? I don’t recall. I’m big on being punctual.

17. Do you know how to plait hair? I haven’t heard it called that, but yes.

18. Do you have a favorite plate? Paper plates, ha.

19. Would rather ice skate or roller skate? I can’t do either one.

20. How would you rate this survey so far? I’ve enjoyed all your surveys!

21. Do you ever just wish for a clean slate? Yesssss.

22. What state do you live in? (if you’re American) California.

23. What is your current state of mind? Blah.

24. Are you straight? Yes.

25. Are you straight-laced? Straight-edged? No, because apparently you can’t have caffeine or narcotics to be considered straightedge, both of which I have.

26. Have you ever visited a strait? No.

27. What’s your best personality trait? Sense of humor.

28. How long will you wait for someone/something? I don’t know? 

29. What is your weight? I’m not exactly sure, but I think mid to low 70lbs. 

30. Are you awaiting anything special? No.

31. Do you berate anyone? Nooo.

32. Is there anyone you’d like to castrate? Uh, no!

33. Are you a cheapskate? Lol I have my moments, but I also can overspend. Just depends, really.

34. When was the last time you collated papers? I don’t recall.

35. Last thing you created? Uhhh.

36. What was your last debate about? I really try and avoid those.

37. Last time you inflated something? Or deflated? I don’t recall.

38. Do you dictate what other people can do? No.

39. Have your pupils ever dilated before? When I go to the eye doctor. 

40. When’s the last time you donated something? A few months ago when I got rid of some clothes.

41. The last time you felt elated? My Disneyland trip earlier this year.

42. Have you ever been to an estate sale? No.

43. What are you fixated on? Health related stuff.

44. How often do your floodgates open? I cry often.

45. Last thing you equated? Hmm.

46. Last time you felt frustrated? The last few days. I feel that way quite often.

47. Do you remember to stay hydrated? Yeah.

48. Do you live upstate? No.

49. How often do you post status updates? I very rarely post status updates on Facebook anymore, I just share things now and then. I tweet a lot, though.

50. How often do you use Google Translate? Not often, but sometimes. I actually did a couple days ago.

51. Who is a classmate that you are still friends with?

52. Have you ever had a teammate before? No.

53. Have you ever tailgated? No.

54. Have you ever reached a stalemate? That’s how I’ve felt the past few years.

55. Have you ever been sedated? Yeah, several times.

56. Do you rotate your mattress? No.

57. Last time you got a rebate? It’s been awhile, but I used to use Ebates (called Rakuten now). I keep forgetting to use it for some reason, which is dumb.

58. Have you ever felt like you could relate to someone? Yeah, many times.

59. Favorite primate? I don’t have one.

60. Do you have something ornate? Uhh. I don’t really have anything fancy.

61. Has an action ever negated the effect of your efforts? Yes.

62. Could you be described as a lightweight? Ha, yeah. For sure.

63. Would you like to visit Kuwait? I haven’t thought about it.

64. Last person that gyrated near you? No one.

65. Do you know someone who is irate or innate? Hmm.

66. Do you know of any inmates? Yes.

67. How long does it take you to acclimate? I struggle with change.

68. Last time you activated something? Not too long ago.

69. What do you advocate for? Stuff.

70. Last time you felt agitated or aggravated? Recently.

71. Last time you had to annotate something? Recently during my Bible study.

72. Have you ever felt alienated before? Yes.

73. What was the last caffeinated beverage you consumed? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

74. Do you like carbonated drinks? Yeah.

75. What captivates you? Staring out at the ocean and listening to the waves crash in and out.

76. What do you allocate a lot of your hours towards? Watching YouTube videos and checking my social medias.

77. Last event you celebrated? 4th of July. Well, we just went out and watched fireworks from the driveway.

78. Last time you were compensated for something? I don’t recall.

79. Do you tend to make things complicated? Yepppp. :/  “Why you gotta go and make things so complicated?”

80. Do you find it hard to concentrate at times? Yes.

81. Have you ever had anything confiscated? No.

82. Last place you congregated at? I haven’t been around a large crowd of people since my Disneyland trip earlier this year. I won’t be again for a very long time given the current state of things.

83. How long are you with someone before you consummate the relationship? I’m a virgin.

84. Last time you had to conjugate a verb? I did that recently when I was helping my mom with her Duolingo Spanish lesson. It amazes me how much I still remember considering I haven’t taken a Spanish class or even really practiced it in almost 10 years. :O I mean, I’ll occasionally try and speak it or if I hear or see it somewhere I’ll try to translate it, but it’s not very often, so I’m surprised I’m still able to at all.

85. Last time you were constipated? I don’t recall.

86. How often do you contemplate life? Often.

87. Are you hard to cooperate with? No, I don’t think so.

88. Do you know anyone who cultivates land? No.

89. Would you want to be cremated? Yes.

90. Do you have any issues with your prostate? I don’t have a prostate. 

91. Have you ever decimated someone’s character before? No.

92. Do you decorate your home for the holidays? Yesss. Well, for Christmas. I used to for Halloween, but I haven’t the past few years. I should do that this year.

93. Who would you dedicate a book you wrote to? My mom.

94. Are you good at delegating group projects? I felt like I always had to take lead in group projects and make sure everything was getting done. I hated doing them, they stressed me out even more.

95. Do you know how to demonstrate things in order to show someone how to do something? I do feel like I suck at trying to explain things to others for the most part, but I guess it depends on the thing. 

96. In what ways do you deviate from “the norm”? I’m soon to be 31 years old and I still live at home with my parents, with no plans to move out anytime soon. I don’t have a job. I don’t have much, basically none, relationship experience. I’m a virgin. I’m just not a functioning adult.

97. How long after you take a painkiller does the pain start to dissipate? It typically takes about 30 minutes, but on really bad pain/flare up days it can take an hour or so and sometimes not until I have the next dose.

98. Do you feel the need to dominate in conversations? Nooo. I’m much more of a listener and I’ll throw the convo back to the other person.

99. Would you ever domesticate a wild animal? Why or why not? No.

100. Who is the last person you congratulated? For what? I don’t remember.

101. Would you like to decapitate anyone? Who, and why? Uh, no!

102. Do you ever think that you could duplicate something you’ve tried before?   Uhh, like what?

103. What do you feel you could educate others about? I don’t know. Remember before how I said I suck at explaining things to others?

104. What elevates your stress level? My heath, my life (including things related to my loved ones in my life, such as their health issues and things they’re dealing with/going through), and just...life in general, man. There’s a lot going on this year alone.

105. Do you have a tendency to make situations escalate? In my mind cause I jump to the worst conclusions. My natural reaction is to freak out.

106.  How good are you at estimating? Uhh, depends what I’m estimating.

107. Do you fabricate your stories? No. 

108. What is something that fascinates you? Psychology.

109. How long does it take you to formulate a game plan? Hmm. Depends.

110. What tends to make your blood pressure fluctuate? Stress and anxiety.

111. How do you generate enough energy to get through your day? What energy? I’m seriously lacking.

112. When did you graduate? I graduated UC back in 2015.

113. When you’re in a department store, which section do you gravitate towards most often? The clothes.

114. How often do you hesitate before doing or saying something? Often.

115. Do you ever wish that you could just hibernate? Yes.

116. Does anyone try to imitate you? Does it get on your nerves? No, but that would most definitely get on my nerves.

117. Do you like to instigate others? Nooo. I’m not an instigator.

118. Could you illustrate a children’s book? I couldn’t illustrate anything, I’m an artist at all.

119. Do you marinate your meats? I don’t cook.

120. Do you masturbate? No. What a way to end, ha.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[theairportau]

the airport AU, part 131 by rjdaae and hopsjollyhigh

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 101, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10 111, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

CHRISTINE

She holds him until the panic eases from his bowed shoulders; until the breath that ruffles her hair is slow and deep, and the pounding from inside his chest no longer threatens to crack through ribs that have weathered too much strain already. Christine holds Erik until his arms relax around her, his rigid grasp finally softening into something that she doesn’t have to hesitate to call a hug. And then, she *keeps* holding him.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

It’s okay.

Christine had meant the words for him. But they repeat inside *her* head, like a third heartbeat weaving through and between and around her and Erik’s own, a soft pulse of reassurance; of *wonder*. The feeling of stillness after a parachute opens, as the rushing world suddenly stills. With a hoarse whisper, a new chord joins the silent refrain—a new line of harmony, echoed back in the gentle tightening of Christine’s arms: Thank you.

Two weeks ago, she had made what could easily have been the single worst decision of her life. And, as she climbed into a taxi beside a stranger who could have been taking her anywhere, she had pretended that it was because she trusted him. As if trust were something that could be given at will; that could be earned after a brief conversation and a promise of help.

She had chosen to listen to a man she’d just met, chosen to stay when he asked—chosen to ignore her common sense, *any* sense, and to put herself in a position that could have led to a dozen different horrible conclusions. Chosen to hope, maybe; chosen to be reckless, more likely. Trust, though—*trust* hadn’t come until later, once she saw for herself that Erik really meant what he’d said; once she began to *know* him.

How little she’d known in the beginning—oblivious even to the truth that lay behind the face that she’d looked upon as she accepted the unlikely offer. There’s a more logical part of her brain that questions how wise, how *safe* it is to depend on Erik even now, even as she learns more about him; even *because* of some of the things she has learned.

But if trust can’t be *chosen*, can’t be forced into existence any more than an newly-planted acorn can be willed into a tree, then neither can blunt reason tear up that which has already taken root—unfurling like a dandelion blossom, bright and tenacious in spite of the uncertain ground in which it first sprouted.

Her knees begin to ache with the effort of stretching upward, and Christine lets her feet settle on the floor; lets herself lean nearer against her friend’s bony chest, with hope that seems closer than ever to certainty.

Does he feel the same thing, she wonders? This strange, tentative sense of *faith*, indefinable and elusive—this warmth that spreads through her heart as they breathe together, sharing space the way they’d shared a song.

Perhaps he does, despite the uncountable reasons humanity has given him to never trust them again. He has welcomed her into his house, his life, while he shuts himself away from the rest of the world. If he didn’t trust her, she wouldn’t be here. Darius has said as much, taken aback by the simple sight of Erik’s hand in hers; she wonders what he would saw now.

’Du är olik,’ Erik himself had told her, struggling to explain the distance that he has kept even from his friends.

*He* is ’different’, in more ways than Christine can even begin to list. But even if Erik is leaner than her father, and more reserved than Mamma, and taller than anyone Christine has ever known, the feeling of arms wrapped tenderly around her shoulders is one as familiar to her as home.

It’s okay.

She holds him until she’s no longer afraid that she’ll be pushed away. And then, she steps back just far enough to let him know that he won’t be, either.

Christine’s hands trail behind her as she pulls away, skimming the length of Erik’s sleeves, briefly catching  the loose cuffs before letting her fingers wrap around his own. Maybe soon he’ll trust her enough to bare the scars on his wrists again; maybe soon she’ll trust *herself* enough to let him.

For now, Christine meets his gaze with a smile, before turning a questioning glance toward the shadows beginning to creep across the floor.

---

ERIK

It’s best that she lets go. He doesn’t know that he would’ve been able to, doesn’t know that he even would have thought to. When she backs away, he finds that he has no sense of how long she was there. It is a sudden emptiness, though- breaking out of some sort of lovely trance and finding himself back in this room, where the shadows have grown long across the floor without either of them taking note of it happening. His mind struggles to grapple with what has gone on in the past few minutes, and he knows that he certainly cannot continue to give her any lessons of value- and it is getting late.

There is a part of him still in shock, a part that he isn’t certain will ever recover from the reeling sensation of her radical acceptance. Even his mouth feels numb and useless in the aftermath.

It is an inversion of everything that he has always believed about himself and his role in the human race- with each passing moment, it only sinks in more. She had been so close to him- and hadn’t run- and neither of them had been hurt- the dominoes fall before he can track how many there are, but he grapples for reality, for something grounding. He sets a hand against the piano as if to support himself.

“Nous devrions nous arrêter ici,” he manages, his voice weaker than usual, averting his eyes from her and taking the tablet from the music stand. He gestures to her to follow, and leaving the room is like a splash of cold water. The fog starts to lift as he takes in the staircase, the front door, the coats hanging on the landing- he breathes, and realizes just how shallow his breathing had become. The world begins to swing back into focus.

Seeking more ties to the real world, he pulls out his phone, and finds Darius’ name lit up on the screen with a message.

News for you and Christine. Can Khan and I come over?

He looks back over his shoulder and finally makes eye contact with Christine again. They’ve only made it a bit out of the room, but it feels a universe away. It is, at once, something to be grateful for, and something to curse- he could stand forever in that haze, just existing beside her, but the intensity of that confusion would never wane, would always poison and haunt their togetherness.

He has always needed to know how things work.

It is easier, now, to look at her. In there, it had been like looking directly into the brilliance of the sun- here, she is the person who he has only begun to know, but whose face is already so familiar. He studies her for a moment before looking down at the tablet and typing.

“Do you mind if Khan and Darius come here? Darius apparently has news,” he types, and hands the device over to her, back to the door as he remains on the landing, waiting for her answer before he goes up the next flight of stairs. 

---

CHRISTINE

Christine’s gaze lingers on Erik as he turns back towards the piano, and she gives a gentle nod of agreement. She doesn’t have to understand every one of his words—she has only to hear the tone in which he speaks; to see the way he carries himself as he moves to lead her from the room. It’s been a long day, a long lesson: the day is winding to a close, and she is tired herself; she doesn’t have to wonder about Erik’s own limited stores of energy. Still watching him closely, half-wishing she could take his hand again, she follows her friend out of the basement.

He doesn’t look at her until they reach the landing, turning to her with his phone in one hand and the tablet in the other; the smaller device is tucked away as he types her a message, Erik’s hand moving across the screen with a growing fluidity that eases her concern.

“Det skulle vara trevligt,” Christine says with a nod once she has seen his question, looking up from the tablet with a smile at the thought of seeing the other two men again. “Det är bra.”

It’s only when Erik himself nods, when he slips past her to continue up the stairs, that Christine second-guesses her answer.

*Is* it a good idea for them to come over?

*Now?*

The question nags at her as she follows Erik up into the living room.

‘Do you mind…’ he’d asked, the words implying that he himself had no problem with the idea of the visit; that he was leaving it up to her. But she knows how Erik is when Khan and Darius are around: how much more withdrawn he becomes; how much more edgy and closed off. How much worse might he be affected, drained as he appears after their lesson—after singing together, after their hug?

How much more painful would it be to have him shy away from her now?

Her heart jerks at the thought, and Christine pushes herself out of the stairwell, her foot hardly skimming the last step. She has made enough choices based on fear—has been too selfish already. When did avoiding a problem ever *improve* anything? If Erik is willing to let his other friends come over, then it’s a good thing—whatever it might mean for *her*.

She *trusts* him.

Christine takes a few uncertain steps into the living room, casting around for some way to be helpful before the others arrive. “Ska jag göra kaff—” she stops herself, “—eller, te?”

---

ERIK

With a resigned sigh, Erik nods. “Te est bien,’ he says, and looks around the room. It is nowhere near ready for anyone to be over- Khan’s blanket and pillow are still on the couch, the TV still on and muted. In the kitchen, there are crumbs and a few rogue splatters of soup on the counter- evidence of the soup that Khan made, though the dishes have all been put away, and there are a couple stray cigarettes spilling out of the box on the dining room table. His first instinct is to get a can of cat food; he’d been distracted long enough that they would’ve missed a meal. None of them are waiting at the door this time, but he opens it and empties the can into the bowl on the patio all the same. They’ll be around eventually. With that done, he looks at the tablet again, and types a quick message.

My house is a mess, I apologize. I should put some of these things away. You can make tea if you would like, it would be good.

He pulls out his phone again to message Darius, send a request for him to bring some food, but there is already a text there from him.

You also got a package. About your birthday. Your annual message. I don’t know if you want it today. It’s definitely her though, she’s still using the old name. But I can also keep it here-

He looks up from his phone, not bothering to finish Darius’ rambling. Of course this would happen today- of course. While he’s still reeling and confused and utterly drained of energy, stretched as thin as he can bear- her impeccable timing comes in to bat him around a little bit more, to complicate the noise in his head even more. They should’ve stayed in the basement! He can’t figure out what happened down there now, separate from it, but at least there had been a blessed few moments of peace where old ghosts weren’t commanding control of his life. He walks into the living room without looking back, or saying anything to Christine. He can feel himself slipping, but as long as she’s here- he shuts his eyes and tries to breathe to the bottom of his lungs.

This is nothing he hasn’t dealt with before.

His mother tends to send things around his birthday- usually only letters, and he has never read one. They always go to Khan and Darius, at the address where she thinks that he still lives. A package is new, but- his hands flex and he paces a few steps, trying to breathe, trying to beat back the instinctive anger that boils in his skull, trying to remind himself that Christine is here, and he doesn’t want to act in a way that would frighten her.

He wishes that Darius hadn’t brought it up, but he has to admit that it isn’t his fault- Darius has no way of knowing how trying the day has already been. It’s only coincidence, the usual damned coincidence arriving to sabotage any attempt he makes at seeming decent.

He stands and watches the television for a few moments, not processing any of what’s happening, but attempting to center himself somewhat. Is it worse to know, or not to know what it is? It has already been mentioned- he knows that it’s there, and that’s really the worst part- he can’t keep himself from wondering. If he sees what it is, processes it a little bit, he can push it to the back of his mind, rather than fixating over what it might be. He pulls out his phone again, and stares at the words, frowning, before finally typing his answer.

Just bring it.

He sends the message, shoves his phone in his pocket, and takes Khan’s blanket from the couch. At the very least, he can divert some of this restless anxiety into fixing the mess in the living room. He folds it with entirely more force than is called for, every muscle in his body tense. At the very least, he is already burned out- it is easier now, with the exhaustion already pulling at his mind and his body, for him to turn in on himself again, going silent and sitting firmly within the walls that he has built over a lifetime. 

---

CHRISTINE

Making tea is easy—nothing more challenging than gathering up a few mugs from the cupboard, plucking a random flavour from the wooden box where the assorted dried varieties are stored. It doesn’t take any thought to add water to the kettle; to set it on the stove to boil; to pretend-not-to-watch the steadily-heating pot.

Christine moves through the routine as if on autopilot. It’s a task with an easy solution—an outlet for hands restless with the need to do something useful, as her mind continues to fumble like a mouse unsure of how to navigate a new maze.

Perhaps it was the same impulse that has sent Erik wordlessly back into the disheveled living room; that caused him to cater with haste to the needs of cats that are as yet nowhere to be seen.

Filling food bowls, filling tea kettles; filling the idle spaces where thoughts grow like strangling weeds between paving stones. As she stands alone in the silent kitchen, waiting for the shrill whistle of the kettle to break the silence, Christine half wishes that tea was a more complicated thing to prepare.

Erik is quiet in the other room, but for a few soft footsteps and the occasional shift of small objects being moved.

By the sink, a dishtowel hangs haphazardly from the corner of a drawer; it’s the work of just a few moments for Christine to dampen it and wipe away the specks from the counters and table.

Her stomach dips as a stroke of the towel narrowly dodges the packet of cigarettes that she hadn’t noticed earlier; the shriek of the tea kettle beckons her back to the far side of the kitchen, to the hot water and the mugs and the distraction of bringing them together, and she could hardly be any more grateful.

---

ERIK

The whistling of the kettle draws Erik back towards the kitchen. He’d left without a word to Christine; he pauses in the doorway, looks around the kitchen, and softens at the sight of her. Despite the confusion inherent in seeing her, his heart settles at the picture of her in his kitchen- it’s so easy, when she’s right there, to feel as though she belongs there. As if she’s been here for years, and not days. The simplicity of it gives his racing mind something to settle on. It would’ve been unthinkable to him just a couple weeks ago, allowing somebody into his home like this- but she knows what cabinet the tea is in, and how to work his stove, and when he focuses on that, things begin to seem less overwhelming.

He walks through the doorway after a moment, clearing his throat in an effort to not seem like he’s sneaking up on her. He’s scared Khan and Darius enough times by accident, and making some small noise to avoid startling them has become somewhat second-nature. He stands next to Christine and looks at the stove.

“Merci,” he says, nodding at the kettle. “Är du hungrig?”

He opens the fridge and glances into it. There’s a good chance that Khan and Darius will want to eat as well, and he is in no mood to cook. A rather large tupperware of leftover lentil soup from Khan’s visit the night before is the first thing he sees, and he takes it out decisively, without really waiting for Christine’s answer. Of course she’s hungry. Most people would be. She hasn’t eaten all day. “Tu devrais manger quelque chose,” he mutters, half to himself as he works the lid off and goes to put the tupperware in the microwave. He is determined to be a somewhat decent host, where she is concerned, and letting her go hungry is not acceptable. Besides- it gives him something to keep his mind on, and to keep his hands busy, even if just for a few moments. 

---

(WIP -- Check back again later for more!)

[prince-dongju]

Should you fight The Boyz?

Here I am back on my bullshit 

Similar to my Ateez post on the matter, you might want to know what’s in store for you if you happened to find yourself in a fight with each of the boys. 

Sangyeon

He’s a sweet boy

He’d try to avoid a fight as much as possible, and it would take a lot to get him worked up

After a few minutes of trying to talk you down, he’d finally give in

And oh boy. It would be on

He would get so many punches in, blocking all your attempts to attack

In the end, he’d stop once he felt you’d learned your lesson

He’d also help you clean your wounds. He’s sweet like that

Then he’d give you a whole talk about how we need to “talk through our feelings instead of turning to aggression.” What a dad.

Prepare yourself for an ass beating and a lecture to boot

40% fightable

Jacob

Now first of all, why would you want to fight him? He’s an actual angel.

If you do have some beef with him, then go ahead, I guess

I really think that he’d put his energy into defending himself rather than throwing some punches of his own

The other boys say that he doesn’t get angry easily, so he’d try to talk you down while trying to figure out why the heck you’re mad at him

Once again, he’s an angel, so he couldn’t have done something too bad to you

He might even run away halfway through the fight. I just don’t see him being aggressive

Just remember that this man is the softest man ever. Please don’t hurt him akdslf

95% fightable

Younghoon

Looks can be deceiving

He looks like he’d outlast anyone in a fight with that piercing glare and his intimidating vibe

Plus he’s really tall and that’s also pretty scary

But once the battle starts, he might panic a bit.

Deep down in, he’s a soft boy. Please don’t go too rough, you’ll scare him.

He could get in a few punches, some really good ones. But he really wants to leave as soon as possible and at the perfect moment he’ll zoom off

In the end, he’s all bark and no bite.

Try not to hurt him. He’s precious

80% fight able

Hyunjae

Gosh, he’s freaking annoying. Who wouldn’t want to fight him?

He’d definitely start with some trash talk, talking up how hard he’s gonna destroy you

When the real fight starts, he’d lose a little of his steam after you punch him in the mouth

Now here’s the thing: he’s gorgeous

Be careful of that. His looks are VERY distracting. Keep your eyes on the prize and ignore how cute his nose is...

Don’t rough him up too much though. Wouldn’t wanna ruin his perfect features

Overall, he wouldn’t be too much of an opponent. His punches might hurt a bit, but he wouldn’t be too good at strategizing.

Block those punches and victory is yours!

85% fightable

Juyeon

I’m almost convinced that Juyeon could beat you pretty good in a fight

He’s tall, athletic, and outlandishly handsome (That doesn’t really apply to fighting, but it’s true)

He dances with a lot of power. Now think about all that power directed at you. You better be quaking in your boots.

Plus his yaoi hands could smack you all the way across the room. I’m sure of it.

Anyways, we all know that Juyeon can be a little... weird at times.

If you confuse him then you might get away without sustaining a ton of injuries

But once he gets focused on something, it’s kinda hard to tear him away

You have a small window for your confusion tactics. If you miss it, oh man, I’ll be praying for your safety

He’s a very easygoing boy, so the chances of wanting to fight him shouldn’t be too high though. Right?

30% fightable  

Kevin

I’m sorry, but Kevin would be a little bit of an easy fight

He’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong

But could he hold up in a fight? Ehh...

He can talk smack. He’s very good at talking smack

But not so good at backing it up.

Now he won’t be completely defenseless. He’ll retaliate a bit, maybe with a punch to the kidney or another vital organ

Keep your guard up, don’t let him scare you with his threats, and you’ll be good to go

He’ll probably try to make a joke out of the whole situation, trying to calm your mood down

Don’t laugh. It’s going to be really funny, but don’t give in. It’ll give him the upper hand

He’ll surrender fairly quickly and you’ll be victorious

90% fightable

New

Oh Chanhee....

He’d be completely flustered, trying to figure out how he got in this situation

While he’s thinking about it, you strike.

He’ll yell for help and someone might hear him. If you’re gonna take him down, you gotta find a secluded place

An alleyway would be the perfect place

Or better yet, catch him when he’s with Sunwoo and he might even back you up

He’s kinda small, so it won’t be too hard to overpower him

He’ll squirm a bit, so you gotta watch out for those long limbs

This will definitely get the message across, and he won’t try to cross you again

The memory of you beating the crap out of him will stop him from hurting you ever again

It’s a surefire way to get him to leave you alone

95% fightable

Q

Now don’t let him fool you

He looks so soft and nonthreatening, but deep down in he’s a lil scary

The way he dances is intense and powerful just like Juyeon

He’ll get all up in your face

Even distracting you with aegyo and the sort

On the inside, he’s very scared

His screams will break your eardrums, so bring some earplugs with you

You’ll only have a short amount of time to show him who’s boss because someone will surely hear him

People halfway around the world could hear him

If he had the upper hand though, you’d be in for a ride

He’s quick and silent

If you catch him off guard, that’s the best strategy. He’ll be too shocked to put up a fight

50% fightable

Haknyeon

Hakneyon is another easygoing guy

He might think it’s a big joke when you start trying to rough him up

Make sure he knows you mean business and the real fight will begin

He’s pretty good overall and you might have a bit of a hard time

Keep up your defense and try to be quicker than him

He’s not as quick as Q, so it’s easier to land some punches

He’s also very distracting. You need to withstand all the jokes and wild dances he throws your way

He’ll surrender once you’ve gotten the point across

I’m pretty sure he’ll let bygones be bygones and maybe give you a hug before you walk away

65% fightable

Hwall

He’s another one who I think would be easy to fight

Although if you’re near weapons, such as a bow and arrow, you better run

His aim is freaking impressive

The flashy clothes he wears may distract you

Although, he does make some questionable fashion decisions, so that could be a motivator for a fight

He’ll try his hardest to fight you off

He really will

It might shock you how strong he actually is

His endurance is really amazing, so take that into consideration

Remember that he gets injured easily so don’t go too hard on him

The Boyz needs their dance king

70% fightable

Sunwoo

My suggestion: try to avoid him as much as possible

I’m entirely convinced that he could rap you to death. I don’t know how, but he could

The insults he throws in his raps are enough to emotionally cripple even the strongest of opponents

He’ll even go so far as to laugh at you when you’re down

On top of that, he’s strong

None of this is looking good for you

The only thing I can see that would help you is to outsmart him at something

If you hurt his pride a bit, he may falter

This man shows no mercy

Please don’t fight him

You’ll definitely regret it

15% fightable

Eric  

Eric wants to be friends with everyone, so he’ll be a little hurt that you want to fight him

This one is a little unexpected though

Sure he’ll talk your ear off, but he’s actually good

He’s quick and pretty strong

Years of playing baseball has given him an edge, so be really careful of that

Now he’s sensitive

If you get into his head, maybe threaten him a bit, he’ll most likely get a little freaked out

If you can catch him off guard or scare him a bit, that’ll give you a good chance to win

Dodge his punches and attack when you can

35% fightable

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2019

Movies

The number in parentheses is year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. 

01 The Death of Stalin (17) does a neat trick of building goodwill for Steve Buscemi’s Krushchev, then brutally pays that off in the last few minutes. 

02 Sorry to Bother You (18)

03 Support the Girls (18)

04 Paddington (14)*

05 Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (16)

06 Eighth Grade (18) probably the most terrifying movie I watched all year, if you didn’t watch it through your fingers, who even are you?

07 Morvern Callar (02) much less bleak than the book, but then, nearly anything would be

08 The Favourite (18) revolting and beautiful. 

09 Columbus (17) a really lovely movie about architecture and parent-child relationships.

10 Bring it On (00)*

11 The Land of Steady Habits (18) feels wackier than your average Holofcener, but still a good watch. 

12 Spotlight (15) i was really bowled over by this, and wasn’t expecting to be. Workmanlike filmmaking, but an extraordinary story, well-told.

13 The Killing of a Sacred Deer (17) Barry Keoghan is a blank, but somehow compelling screen presence. This one has an ending that made me bark with laughter.

14 Legends of the Fall (94)

15 Moneyball (11)* if you don’t feel like watching anything in particular, you can always watch Moneyball

16 If Beale St Could Talk (18) very beautiful, but I failed to connect with it on any other level. 

17 For Keeps (88)

18 Abducted in Plain Sight (17)

19 Oscar Shorts (Animated) (18) the offerings were very sappy this year, but the winner was decent! Lots of Toronto content (weird). 

20 Oscar Shorts (Live Action) (18) *unquestionably* the worst one of these won ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21 Velvet Buzzsaw (19)

22 Vice (18) ugh

23 Friends with Money (06)

24 Can You Ever Forgive Me (18)

25 Bohemian Rhapsody (18) haha what. was. that.

26 Mars Attacks (96)*

27 Paddington 2 (18)

28 Buffy the Vampire Slayer (92)*

29 Shoplifters (18)

30 Blindspotting (18) jacked Ethan Embry in a supporting role?! Whither? Howso? Wherefore?

31 Witness (85)

32 Harry & the Hendersons (87)*

33 The Matrix (99)*

34 T2 Trainspotting (17)

35 Blockers (18)

36 The Slums of Beverly Hills (98)

37 Can’t Hardly Wait (98)*

38 Avengers: Infinity War (18)

39 Iron Man II (10)

40 Isle of Dogs (18)

41 Chinatown (74)*

42 To Live & Die in LA (85)

43 Age of Innocence (93) Daniel Day-Lewis manages to make Newland Archer compelling, where in the novel he’s...the worst?!

44 Shopgirl (05)*

45 The House (17) didn’t sustain all the way through, but then, that’s how mainstream comedies often go. 

46 The Beguiled (17)

47 Badlands (73)*

48 Poetic Justice (93)

49 The Empire Strikes Back (80)*

50 Calibre (18)

51 The Kindergarten Teacher (18)

52 Hounds of Love (17) a nice little Aussie thriller, set in the 80s

53 Kicking & Screaming (95)*

54 Octopussy (83)*

55 Jaws (79)*

56 Lover Come Back (61)

57 Frenzy (72)

58 Always Be My Maybe (19)

59 Certain Women (16) took a while to get to this one, but it’s as great as they say it is. 

60 Baby Driver (17) all flash, little substance.

61 Sneakers (92)

62 Roadhouse (87)*

63 Bull Durham (88)*

64 Ghostbusters (84)*

65 Booksmart (19) I think this will improve on multiple viewings, though I loved the soundtrack and the mix of characters. 

66 Hereditary (18)

67 Rebecca (40) George Sanders as Rebecca’s cousin is BRILLIANT

68 Vertigo (58)*

69 The Dead Don’t Die (19)

70 Crawl (19)

71 Dazed & Confused (93)* If you don’t watch this once a summer, what is wrong with you?

72 Jackie Brown (97)

73 Talk Radio (88)

74 The Guilty (18)

75 Killing Heydrich (17)

76 Lady Bird (17)*

77 Billy Elliot (00)*

78 White House Down (13)* Channing Potatum saves the White House!

79 The Film Worker (17)

80 Whitney (18)

81 Mascot (16)

82 Apocalypse Now (79)* technically I’d only seen the Redux version from the early 2000s, so the regular cut is new to me. 

83 Apollo 13 (95)*

84 Psycho 2 (83) the twist is very guessable, but there are a couple of nice-looking scenes.

85 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (04)*

86 The Bodyguard (92)*

87 Murder Mystery (19)

88 Wildlife (18)

89 The Stepford Wives (75)*

90 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (71)*

91 The Natural (84)

92 The Other Boleyn Girl (08)

93 Speed (94)*

94 Opera (87)

95 That’s my Boy (12) haha what?!

96 The Big Short (15)

97 Elizabeth the Golden Age (07)

98 The Glass Castle (17) when I read the book, I genuinely thought it was fiction, it’s so insane. 

99 Dawn of the Dead (78)*

100 All About Eve (50) lady on lady violence is a special thing

101 La La Land (16)

102 Morning Glory (10) remember Rachel McAdams?

103 Casino (95)*

104 Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (06)

105 Pet Sematary (19)

106 Clue (85)*

107 Her Smell (18) amazing soundtrack and the songs were well-chosen. Heartbreaking musical moment in the final act. 

108 Bobby Sands: 66 Days (16)

109 She’s Gotta Have it (86)

110 Good Morning (59)

111 Hustlers (19) I didn’t connect with this as much as the reviews led me to believe I might. 

112 Nocturnal Animals (16)

113 Kill Bill Vol 1 (03) I’d only ever seen the second one before, being a non-Tarantino completionist.

114 Fried Green Tomatoes (91)* I watch this more than anticipated...

115 Steel Magnolias (89)

116 Notting Hill (99)*

117 A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (19) the tiny city models were inspired!

118 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89)*

119 Let It Snow (19)

120 Frozen (13)

121 The Irishman (19) most interesting as a sort of pastiche/reckoning on the part of Scorsese about his other gangster films. Really outmoded view of unions. Definitely could have been edited down if anyone were able to come to it without undue reverence, but I did love the bit about the fish.

122 Girls Trip (17) actual plot is beside the point. 

123 About a Boy (02)* I always think of this as the “vomit and sweaters” movie, anyone else?

124 Animal House (78)*

DOCUMENTARY : FICTION - 4:120

THEATRE : HOME - 9:115

TV Series

01 Russian Doll - I think I would have enjoyed this more if it hadn’t been bingeable - would have made a nice week-by-week discussion sort of show. I loved to watch the changes between re-ups of our major characters, and I think the actual plotting would reward re-watches. 

02 Catastrophe S4 - A satisfying ending to an excellent show, with very charismatic leads (and deeply weird supporting characters). Had to write around Carrie Fisher’s death, and I’m sure did a better job of it than Star Wars did. 

03 Friends from College S2 - More of the same, which is what I was after. A show like cotton candy (but with more infidelity). 

04 High Maintenance S3 - A lot more of this season took place outside of New York City, which was a great change of pace. And a great deal more information about The Guy and his own life; both difficulties and successes included. 

05 Losers - This was a great little docuseries on Netflix that I didn’t hear a lot of people talking about - it’s about sports losses, but unusual sports ie curling, figure skating and the like. You’d think it would get repetitive, being as it’s always about recovering after loss, but it doesn’t! I wish they would make another season….

06 Shrill - a tight six episode dramedy about an alt-weekly journalist in the Pacific Northwest, based on Lindy West’s memoir of the same name. John Cameron Mitchell as her boss (based on Dan Savage) stands out of the ensemble cast, as does Annie’s roommate played by a British standup Lolly Adefope.

07 Broad City S5 - I haven’t always kept up with Broad City, but I came back to it for its final season, and thought it did a good job of setting its characters up for big changes in their lives. 

08 I Think You Should Leave - It’s easy to assume that all sketch comedy is terrible and always will be, but then you see this, and throw your TV out the window (due to all the laffs)

09 Fleabag S2 - Everything you’ve heard is true, this season is goddamn hilarious and ridiculously sexy. A huge step up from the first season, which was already pretty fantastic and incisive. 

10 Fosse/Verdon - Musicals are not particularly my bag, so I’m sure there was a lot that I missed in terms of references, but the lead performances ably carried me through all of the time jumps and various performances. 

11 Stranger Things S3 - Say it after me: d-i-m-i-n-i-s-h-i-n-g r-e-t-u-r-n-s! Maya Hawke kills it, though. 

12 Big Little Lies S2 - Unnecessary, and (if possible) even sillier than the first season.

13 Lorena - Part of the ongoing quest to rehabilitate the maligned women of the 1990s, this gave me tons of context that I had no idea about at the time, due to being a dumb kid. 

14 Glow S3 - I felt like I was losing steam on this series this year, but episodes like the camping ep kept me coming back. A great ensemble, though some unusual character choices (like a certain kiss *cough*) took me out of it by times. 

15 Lodge 49 S1-3 - I’d kept hearing about this show, so I finally sought it out. I can’t say it was amazingly compelling (I almost dropped it after the first season) but it’s definitely an oddball of a show, slipping from setpiece to setpiece with little regard for logic. For me, a background show. 

16 Chernobyl - This show really gave me the Bad Feeling, humans were definitely A Mistake.

17 On Becoming a God in Central Florida - Kiki in a trashy mode, not as infinitely appealing as the version she pulled off in the second season of Fargo, but scrappy and industrious nonetheless.

18 Show Me a Hero - I’d put off watching this for years, it felt like it was going to be too dull (housing policy in Yonkers?) but it’s great, and larded up with Bruce Springsteen songs, obvs.

19 Great British Bake Off S9-S10 - I’d also held off on watching this for a long time, out of loyalty to Mel, Sue, and Mary Berry. But I needed some comfort viewing towards the end of the summer, and the new hosts and judge do an able job, although the show’s tropes are feeling a bit well-worn at this point. 

20 Righteous Gemstones S1 - A rollicking ride for sure, with a great cast. Your mileage/patience with Danny McBride may vary, so keep that in mind, naturally. 

21 This Way Up S1 - A small show starring the fabulous Aisling Bea, about mental health and families and some nice comic physical acting. Oh, and in case you were watching The Crown and crushing on Tobias Menzies’ version of Prince Phillip, he plays a hot dad love interest in this, which gives you all the Tobias you’re looking for, without the PP racisms. 

22 The Crown S3 - This is the first season of the big cast switchover, and I thought it stuck reasonably well, once we were in it an episode or two. This season concentrated even less on Elizabeth herself, preferring her sister, husband, and (newly!) her children.

[stellarboystyles]

1. What is you middle name? nichole 2. How old are you? 22 3. When is your birthday? august 29 4. What is your zodiac sign? virgo sun, cancer moon, gemini eising 5. What is your favorite color? yellow 6. What’s your lucky number? i hate numbers 7. Do you have any pets? 2 puppies 8. Where are you from? ohio :/ 9. How tall are you? 5′5 10. What shoe size are you? 7 1/2 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 40 LOL 12. What was your last dream about? me & my friends were shooting off fireworks from our window and trees were being incinerated and then i was in my parents bedroom with (they weren’t my parents but they were in dream land i guess???? idk???) and this ed kemper looking dude was trying to attack them 13. What talents do you have? double jointed, and i’m a dancer and i sing pretty well IN MY OPINION DONT COME FOR ME 14. Are you psychic in any way? i feel like i can answer yes...like i feel things deeper than other people do, and i can sense when things are going to happen, like bad things 15. Favorite song? The One by Kodaline 16. Favorite movie? scream 17. Who would be your ideal partner? a tall, lanky boy with curly brown hair, four nipples and tattoos. oh, and he has to love love. 18. Do you want children? Y E S  BITCH im so maternal it isnt even funny 19. Do you want a church wedding? not really 20. Are you religious? i beleive in God, Jesus and all that 100% but i feel that times now are a lot different than when the bible was written. we have evolved so much as a species as far as what’s okay, not okay, right, wrong, etc.  21. Have you ever been to the hospital? god yes too many times 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope by my moms threatened to call the cops on me and have me taken away when i was a kid for standing up to her VERBALLY 23. Have you ever met any celebrities?  24. Baths or showers? hot showers...but i love a good bath bomb yanno 25. What color socks are you wearing? blue with cherries on them <3 26. Have you ever been famous? my lips are sealed 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? yes but not for the money or fame 28. What type of music do you like? i range from kodaline...to harry styles...to nevershoutnever...to twenty one pilots...to The Vaccines...The 1975...billie eilish...i can go on  29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1 31. What position do you usually sleep in? so many 32. How big is your house? 2 bed 1 bath 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? raisin cinnamon bread with strawberry blackberry jelly on top mmmmmmmmm 34. Have you ever fired a gun? no but i wanna learn 35. Have you ever tried archery? NO BUT THA WOULD BE COOL AF 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? shit??? fuck??? idk 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? more than 25 hours 39. Do you have any scars? yes...a biiiig long one all the way down my left arm and elbow 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? lol no i’m from a small town filled with farm boy and none of them will ever be emotionally developed enough for that shit 41. Are you a good liar? i dont think so 42. Are you a good judge of character? yes 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yessss 44. Do you have a strong accent?i’m am*rican so no 45. What is your favorite accent? harry styles’ accent 46. What is your personality type? introvert to the public extrovert to the people i trust 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?  48. Can you curl your tongue? yep 49. Are you an innie or an outie? both 50. Left or right handed? riiiiight 51. Are you scared of spiders? YES DONT TOUCH ME GET OUTTA MY HOUSE 52. Favorite food? nachos 53. Favorite foreign food? thai food 54. Are you a clean or messy person? both 55. Most used phrased?  56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? depends...could be 15 minutes, could be 2 hours lol 58. Do you have much of an ego? not really 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? biteee 60. Do you talk to yourself? yea 61. Do you sing to yourself? yes! 62. Are you a good singer? i think so 63. Biggest Fear? bugs 64. Are you a gossip? lol NO 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? both 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i know the damn song and could sing it rn 68. Favorite school subject? history 69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? no but i want to so bad 71. What makes you nervous? talking to people but i’ve gotten better 72. Are you scared of the dark? not anymore 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? no 74. Are you ticklish? yes get away from me 75. Have you ever started a rumor? probably, my old self was a dumbass bitch 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? yes i’m a dance teacher and used to teach (: 77. Have you ever drank underage? YEP 78. Have you ever done drugs? no but dude i can’t wait  79. Who was your first real crush? J*st*n B**b*r 80. How many piercings do you have? 2...ears and belly button...am i trash? 81. Can you roll your Rs? NO I”M WHITE AF 82. How fast can you type? idk probably less than average lol 83. How fast can you run? not very lol 84. What color is your hair? brown with highlights 85. What color is your eyes? green on the outside brown on the inside 86. What are you allergic to? literally so many types of medicine that i’m not gonna name over the internet lmao 87. Do you keep a journal? yes 88. What do your parents do? dad is a maintenance manager and mom’s a babysitter (: 89. Do you like your age? yes 90. What makes you angry? when  91. Do you like your own name? yea 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? omg so many okay here is my full list currently:

girls: felicity, isabella, emma, aoife (pronounced eefah) nora, rose, hera, nola, june, reece, ramona, violet, lydia, lola, naomi, amelia, luna, gemma, grace, waverly, melody, genevieve, eloise, cove

boys: arlo, finn, archie, calvin, bowie, judah, sawyer, tate, nico, ocean 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? girlie for sure but i’d love a boy after 94. What are you strengths? i like to believe that i’m kind, respectful and a good person  95. What are your weaknesses? i’m anxious, strong willed and i cry a lot 96. How did you get your name? well the person that gave birth to me gave me my name and when my parents were adopting me they wanted to keep my name 97. Were your ancestors royalty? no idea 98. Do you have any scars? lots, i get hurt a lot lol 99. Color of your bedspread? gray 100. Color of your room? blue

[notyetneedcoffee]

Wow!

I can hardly you’ve help me reach over 250 followers already. That blows my mind! Thanks to everyone for all the great feedback and encouraging likes. 

In celebration, I’m posting a prompts list. Feel free to pick one or two and shoot me a request. Let me know which Avenger(s) your interested in and if you have any “special” requests.

1. He sat in the corner staring you, just like he did every morning when you got coffee.

2. There was a secret meeting tonight and you’d never make it if you couldn’t find your pants.  

3. “Oh my God, is that an Ice Cream Truck?”

4. A hostage situation was not how you want to start your Monday morning.

5. You should have never looked that up on the internet.  

6. “How did you know to kiss me there?”

7. And there it was, your biggest secret on the 10 o’clock news.

8. “Hey, anything is murder weapon if you’re creative enough.”

9. He pulled on the Care Bear tee shirt and smiled.

10. “Hey, you’re the one who kidnapped me, remember?”

11. Why was the floor covered in broken glass?

12. The leather felt soft and warm.  

13. The car may be broken down, but at least it was shelter from the rain.

14. “THAT’S your password?!”

15. She moved way too fast for a lady of her age.

16. You could taste traces of salt and smoke on his skin.

17. “Don’t be such a grump, everyone likes ice cream.”

18. Why does my pillow smell like wet dog?

19. Who knew such a big guy would be afraid of a little spider?

20. You never expected him to bring you a cupcake.

21. “Do that again and I will spank you!”

22. The handwriting was perfect, like out of a calligrapher’s book.

23. He looked so young in the photograph.

24. A blood curdling scream interrupted the movie.

25. The entire tray of glasses crashed to the floor, but no one moved.

26. “Stay put, or I swear I will tie you down.”

27. The bouquet of balloons took up the whole van.

28. “I swore I would never lend him anything ever again.”

29. That thing was dead, no denying it.  

30. Of all days not to wear underwear, why today?

31. “Is wrong that I like that so much?”

32. The calmness in the room freaked you out.

33. Ice crystals covered just the body.

34. He ended up covered in dog fur.

35. “Please stay.”

36. You saw it slip into the tall grass.

37. Your blood chilled at that smile.

38. The sound of crying pulled you out of a sound sleep.

39. It had been four days too many.

40. “I haven’t tried this on an actual person yet, but it should be okay.”

41. The minute the sweet, pungent scent registered in your brain, I knew it was too late.

42. A tiny key fell out of your pocket and you had no idea how it got there.

43. “Come on, man! Don’t make me do this alone!”

44. Dammit, that was your favorite bra.

45. “After all this time, you would think I would be used to weird.”  

46. The hoodie smelled like him.

47. “Ha! You’re ticklish!”

48. You tried not to make a sound, but it was so difficult.

49. No one had proof, but the smirk said everything.

50. He even knew how you took your coffee.

51. “Why do you have glitter in your hair?”

52. Waking up to bright lights and the smell of disinfectant is never a good sign.

53. The point of the knife nicked the skin of your throat.

54. The last drop of whiskey fell from the bottle.

55. “You are not going outside in that!”

56. That sofa would never be the same again.

57. "I am not eating that.”

58. His hand slid under the blanket where no one could see.

59. The images on the drive had to be erased.

60. We all watched, afraid he would kill him.

61. Well, that was a malfunction if ever there was one.

62. The explosion left you ears ringing.

63. You couldn’t remember tasting anything so good.

64. “Right there. Deeper.”

65. His knee bounced up and down rapidly.

66. Finding him tied up in the kitchen was not the strangest thing to happen that week.

67. The shouts echoed clear across the floor.

68. “Touch her again and lose that hand.”

69. No one has the right to smell that good.

70. “I know it’s stupid to cry over a pair of jeans.”

71. The rank smelling water from the sprinkler system soaked the furniture.

72. If that music continued, he would likely murder someone.

73. “Why can’t you ever just do as you’re told?”

74. He washed away the grime with gentle hands.

75. Who knew so much could fit in a purse?

76. The cold water ripped the breath from his lungs.

77. “Um, I think she’d like the purple one.”

78. The flavor landed somewhere between rotten fruit and ass.

79. Who knew airbags actually hurt so bad.

80. “Get a room!”

81. Legos littered the conference room floor like colorful landmines.  

82. At some point the music stopped, but you didn’t notice.

83. You knew laughing was inappropriate, but the corpse looked hilarious.  

84. He sat off on his own, staring into nothingness, while the party raged around him.

85. Bright yellow ‘be happy’ panties hung from the ceiling light.  

86. “I don’t know if I remember how, but I would think it’s like riding a bike.”

87. The light was assaulting, brutal after such a night.

88. The alley smelled like stale beer and piss. At least somethings hadn’t changed.

89. The drug did its job way faster than anticipated.

90. “I haven’t heard this song in years!”

91. A small herd of baby miniature goats ran out of the elevator.

92. Cake for breakfast seemed like a great idea.  

93. The upside car in the lobby should have been worrisome.

94. “I just want a cup of coffee!”

95. Porn on a 200 inch screen was a whole new experience.  

96. Water washed away all the evidence as it spiraled down the drain.

97. “I’m not the person you think I am.”

98. The child stopped crying as soon as he picked her up.

99. People scattered, terrified and screaming.

100. It felt like coming home.  

[virgiliananxiety]

The Dark and the Light

GUYS I FINALLY GET TO POST THIS

This is the first chapter for my fic for the @sanderssidesbang! It will update approximately every two weeks, but updates won’t start for at least another three weeks (I really need a break from this fic). Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: 6.2k 

Warnings: Mild violence and non-graphic gore, panic attack

Read it on AO3

This was really not how Virgil had planned on his evening going.

First off, the date he had been on was actually going pretty well. The guy was nice, and seemed kind of into the whole “dark and mysterious” aesthetic. That was, probably, until Virgil got a text with his latest assignment. Which started in five minutes.

Secondly, once he reached the location, a small concrete warehouse, which housed the head personnel of Deceit’s main rival drug ring, there were...complications. The mission was simple, go in, get the information he needed, slit the throats of whoever saw him, and get out.

Complications came in the form of the little asshole who saw him not being too cocky to call for backup.

“Deceit?” He snarled in response to the chatter in his earpiece. He was hidden in the shadows behind a crate, but by this point, the shadows were starting to fill the room. “What do you want?”

“Anxiety, dear,” Fuck, one of them is right there. “It’s come to light that some of our intel on this base was a little...off,” No shit. Left hook, hit him with a few more shadows, dart to the neck. Why the fuck did he have to scream? Think, Virgil, think! “It turns out that there are about fifty guards on the premises, and from what I’m seeing of traffic patterns, more are on their way.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Footsteps, there were more coming. But suddenly, the room went completely black. Not shadows black, that would take up too much of Virgil’s energy, but the pitch darkness was–

“Unfortunately,  I am not. Though I did shut off their power,” That would explain it. “Which should buy you a little extra time. So I would get that information and get out quick, if I were you.”

Of course, because it was fucking Deceit, he still needed to get the information. Great.

Looking down at the map on his wristband, the exit from the main storage room was only about 35 feet away. But in that 35 feet, there were seven sentries. Just fucking dandy.

The first was, well, an idiot. They charged blindly, and Virgil blocked their throws easily, flipping them over his knee. The second was more tactful, parrying as he jabbed. Their dance lasted for a while, the preamble to each move hidden in the darkness, before Virgil finally stabbed a tranquilizer into their neck.

The third was fast, but not fast enough. The fourth fell after an elbow to the solar plexus, and the fifth slashed Virgil with a jagged blade before he knocked them down. Shit, that might be deep. No time to think about it, and he hit the sixth, but they swept a leg behind him, knocking him clean off of his feet. He landed on his side. Hard. Shadows in their mouth, down to the lungs, and...release as they let out their last breath. Dammit, Virgil, why’d you have to follow that instinct? The power flickered back on, and Virgil hit the seventh with a quick dart to the neck, now that he could finally see. He could feel through his shadows, but that didn’t mean he could see in the dark.

Third left, up the stairs, override the lock, down the hall to the main hard drive. And he ran, long midnight purple jacket trailing behind him as he jumped up the stairs. In the distance more footsteps trailed behind him, but he cloaked himself in shadows, keeping close to the walls. Pressing the device Logan had given him (though he’d modified it for more...sinister usage) against the lock, Virgil took stock of his injuries. Cut in the crook between his left shoulder and neck, scrapes and bruises lining his sides, and even through his gloves he could feel his knuckles splitting. Again.

The unlocking mechanism gave a satisfied click, and Virgil shouldered the door open, reminding himself of the additional bruise he had there. He broke into a sprint again, the servers were finally in view.

But because Virgil wasn’t planning on downloading anything remotely tonight, his software wasn’t activated. So, he had to call his roommate.

“Hey, Roman?”

“What’s up Virgil? You need me to pick you up from somewhere?” It was a well know fact that Roman was the only one in their friend group with a car.

“No, I’m good. Is Logan there?” Virgil and Logan were supposed to meet up for post date (over) analysis about seven minutes ago. Logan was never late.

“Yeah, one sec.” There was a rustling as Roman’s cell was passed from one side of the room to the other, where Logan was, most likely, parked in his customary spot in Virgil’s desk chair.

“Hey, Lo, I’m really sorry I’m running late.”  He heard a huff from the other side of the line, but knew that Logan didn’t really mind. “But I need you to do something on my computer.”

“Is this a simple request? Or one that would require a seperate... technological interfacing?” Virgil could practically see him skeptically eyeing Roman from across the room. Virgil was the only one that Logan had ever told about his powers, how he was able to interface with most technology, and how that allowed him to develop some inventions of his own.

“Simple. I just need you to log in, and press activate on the window that’ll pop up.” He heard the keyboard clicking as Logan typed in his password, and then a mouse click as he activated the software, punctuated by the affirmative beep from Virgil’s wristband. DOWNLOADING FILES: 3% COMPLETE.

“What do you need remote downloading for?” Logan asked, seemingly trying to pass the time. 16% COMPLETE.

“Oh, I had to stop at the library and get a book, but I didn’t feel like getting a thumb drive out.” He felt bad lying to his best friend, but he knew that if Logan found out, it would result in a) Logan trying to get Virgil to stop, and ending up captured or killed by Deceit, b) Logan trying to help Virgil, and ending up captured and used by Deceit, or c) Logan trying to get Virgil out of his predicament, and ending up captured or killed by Deceit.

What was his predicament, exactly? Well, that traces back a long way, through many past traumas, foster homes, packed bags, and escape attempts. Back to when a man with scales on his face told a scared 14 year old boy that he could take him in and make the shadows stop. But that man ended up not being so nice, and now Virgil was trapped.

Footsteps broke through Virgil’s thoughts, but they were far off. 47% COMPLETE. “Logan, I’ve gotta go, I’ll talk to you later.” He ended the call, cutting off his friend’s goodbye, which he was surely going to hear about later.

He scanned his map, and found that there was only one other way out, straight up through an abandoned elevator shaft. Clambering onto one of the server towers, he hunched in the dark as the first hostile entered.

“I don’t see anything here,” they said into a crackling walkie-talkie. Virgil took another slow step, but the circuit below him creaked. Shit. “Wait, hold that thought.” 89% COMPLETE.

“Fuck it,” Virgil cursed under his breath, and broke into a sprint, his feet pounding against the metal. He heard the sentry yell something into his comm system, and Virgil fired a dart messily over his shoulder, he didn’t have the energy for more shadows.

93% COMPLETE. He raced to the end of the room. 94% COMPLETE. More guards charged into the room. 95% COMPLETE. Bullets whizzed past him, one passing only a few inches from his temple. 96% COMPLETE.  He skidded to a stop as he reached the end of the room, a large piece of plywood blocking his exit. 97% COMPLETE.  The running footsteps were coming closer, and Virgil traced the outline of the board with his fingers. 98% COMPLETE. He attempted to pry the plank from the wall, but couldn’t find an opening. 99% COMPLETE. He felt another bullet scrape by him, and it went straight through the plywood, which meant it was thin enough to be broken through.

“Fuck it,” he muttered, and body slammed through the opening, bursting through in a hurricane of splinters.

“Download complete.” An automated voice sounded from his wristband. Well thank god it’s complete, lest I die falling with an incomplete download.

Virgil fired a grappling hook, and pulled himself up onto the roof, surveying the city below him. The lights were beautiful at this time of night, and the lit windows framed by dark buildings looked like the stars.

But he couldn’t stand there for long, for the night wasn’t over yet.

Roman hadn't had an extremely clear vision of how his night would go, but this was definitely not it.

"There are only eight planets! Pluto is essentially a glorified moon!" He practically yelled. He had progressively grown closer to the other man, and they were now a mear couple of feet from each other.

“Falsehood! There’s a current debate discussing the redefinition of ‘planet’, which would make your every argument null and void, and Pluto securely in planetary status.” Logan crossed his arms, nudging his glasses further up his nose. “In other words, Viva la Pluto, and fuck you.” He raised an eyebrow smugly, and Roman opened his mouth to retort.

“Hey, guys,” Virgil stumbled through the entrance to the dorm, clutching his left side. “I hope I’m not too late for some spicy space symposium.” He smirked, but winced in pain.

“Yeah, you’re not participating in anything right now.” Roman walked over and clutched Virgil’s shoulders, lowering him to the bed. “I think you just need some rest,” He motioned for Logan to dim the lights, and he reached over and turned on Virgil’s desk lamp. “And we’ll have you all set by morning to talk about Pluto.”

“M’kay,” Virgil murmured, allowing Roman to shrug off his sweater, and Roman winced at the open gash in his shoulder. He didn’t know what was going on, but this was at least the fourth time Virgil had come home banged up like this, and it was starting to seriously concern his roommate. “‘M gonna sleep now.”

“Okay.” Roman took a last look at Virgil’s already sleeping form and went to go grab his medical supplies. His nursing-theater double major had few perks, but being able to patch up his friends at any time was something that he cherished. Especially after Virgil had said “no hospitals”.

Roman returned from his desk to see Logan hunched over his friend, worry painting his features. As much as the other man tried to uphold his apathetic facade, Roman had seen several cracks throughout the years, several being caused by Virgil.

“Logan, can you stroke his hair to keep him calm while I look at this cut? It may be deep and need stitches.” Logan nodded, and Roman took a look and the cut. It definitely needed stitches, which meant that Roman would have to make a quick run to the nursing lab. “Ok, Xavier, you keep him here. If he wakes up, give him water, half a protein bar, and then back to sleep. Find his phone in whatever pocket it’s in, and confiscate it. He needs to rest.” He grabbed his jacket, and broke off into a sprint to get more supplies.

Several hours and seven stitches later, Roman fell back onto his bed. Logan had left only a few minutes ago, but now Roman was alone, trying to shut down his mind. But truly, how could he when his crus–roommate was lying there with a gash in his shoulder and bruises lining his body. When the boy who put on makeup every morning to cover the bags under his eyes had come home beaten and battered once a week for the past three months, but this time was the only time that he’d let Roman take care of him.

Though Logan had assured Roman that Virgil wasn’t in an abusive relationship, he couldn’t help but jump to that conclusion. He couldn’t help but remember his mom’s screams in the middle of the night. Images of dents in plaster and bloodied tissues clogged his mind, and he felt himself grabbing a piece of blanket and balling it in his fist.

It would be fine. They, being Logan, Roman, and Patton, would ask Virgil what was going on tomorrow morning. Tonight, though, Roman just really needed to get some sleep.

“What the fu–” Virgil awoke with a start as someone shook his shoulder. He sat up and immediately regretted it, groaning as pain shot up his side and into his shoulder.

“Hey, kiddo, glad to see you’re awake.” Virgil turned to see his three closest friends standing over him. Patton gave him a small smile, but there was visible concern overtaking all three of them. Judging by the bandages on his shoulder, and the fact that he was wearing a clean hoodie, they were going to ask him what happened last night.

“Virgil, you know that we only want to best for you, right?” Logan asked.

“What is this, an intervention?” Virgil murmured. What the hell was he going to tell them? That he could control shadows and drain people’s life energy by being in physical contact with them for too long? Yeah, that really wasn’t going to work.

“No, but we do need to know why the hell I needed to put seven stitches in you last night.” Virgil looked up to see Roman leaning against the wall, and he seemed almost...hurt? Jesus, the last thing Virgil wanted to do was hurt the man he was in love wi–his roommate. This was no time for intrusive gay thoughts.

“I–I fell?” He tried to keep his his tone level, but it ended up coming out as more of a question. In response, Roman slammed his fist against the wall.

“Onto a fucking knife?” He exclaimed, and the hurt in his voice turned to anger. Patton placed a soft hand onto his arm, but Roman shook it off as he stepped forward. “You came stumbling back here, an hour late for your and Logan’s post-date. You were delirious from pain, and I had to go to the fucking storage in the lab to get shit to stitch you up, and we’re extremely lucky Terrence was there last night. I’ve seen the missing medical supplies in my kit for months, Virgil, so for the last time, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?” He raised his voice to a yell at the end, causing Virgil to wince back.

“Roman!” Patton turned on his Dad Voice, and sternly turned on the other man. “I understand that you are upset, but you have no right to jump on Virgil like this!”

“Look, it’s my fault.” Virgil murmured, and felt the pit in his stomach from lying grow a bit more. “I didn’t want to tell you guys this, but after dates I’ve been walking through...some of the less accepting neighborhoods. Looking for fights, or to get beat up.” It felt awful to lie to them, but truly, what choice did he have? “I guess it’s a form of self sabotage, or something.”

“Jesus, Virge.” Roman stepped closer, this time to plop down next to him on the bed and place a comforting hand on his thigh. Which sent more tingles through Virgil than he would willingly admit. “I’m so sorry. Please, in the future, call me, I’ll pick you up from wherever, whenever.”

“It’s my fault. I’ll try not to do it as much,” Or rather, he would hide it better.

“Or at all.” Patton lovingly rubbed his back, leaning into his side. And Virgil felt like literal human garbage.

Roman had always loved the snow. But that was before he had to fight some guy who wore all dark and conjured shadows in it.

He hurled another branch at the guy, dubbed by the papers “Anxiety”, catching him in the side. He didn’t want to hurt the guy, but on the other hand, he...really wanted to hurt this guy. Or at least do equivalent damage to what had been done to his pride.

Before this, Roman had been a freelance hero, or at least your friendly neighborhood super-strengthened and bulletproof man. He was able to rescue kids from doing dumb shit, stop a couple of drug deals from going down, that kind of thing. But that was before some dumb asshole in an annoying cool jacket starting fucking with him.

At the start, it was just interfering with his anti-drug operations. But then it became active antagonization, ruining everything Roman tried to help. And when the person didn’t fight with bullets, only really bad lighting, it became an issue.

“You didn’t have to kill the people in this ring!” Roman shouted as he circled around his emo enemy. “You could have just given them to the actual justice system!”

“If you knew anything about me,” A shadow swept towards Roman, curling around his neck and slightly infiltrating his mask. “You’d know,” he motioned a hand upwards, and Roman found himself having trouble breathing, “I couldn’t do that.” Roman tried to run after him, but in a rush of darkness, Anxiety ran off through the night.

“Virgil, dear, it’s been a while since you’ve been down here. What’s the occasion?” Deceit didn’t even bother to look up from his table, writing down some formula or another.

“I need to see Elliott about the new tech and get patched up. I would go to their place, but they said they’re here?” After coming out as non-binary, the hyper-intelligent and slightly emo kid had found themself homeless, and went through the same Deceit process Virgil did. Except after much negotiation, they were paid, and so they lived in a small studio apartment in the part of town where no one asked questions, only using Deceit’s lab when absolutely necessary.

“And here I thought you’d come to see your dear old ferocious father figure.” Deceit drawled, turning around and gesturing towards the staircase at the far end of the room. “He’s downstairs, and make sure you’re good as new before coming up.”

Virgil backed towards the stairs, having known Deceit long enough to not leave his back unwatched. He finally turned to walk down the stairs, glancing over his shoulder every few seconds, and hearing a soft laugh emit from the other man.

“Hey, Ell, what’s going on?” Elliott was positioned at a microscope, and something was heating up on the bunsen burner next to it. They held up one finger, and wagged it towards a bench, motioning for him to sit. Virgil shouldered off his jacket, wincing as he touched bruised skin. Pulling up his shirt, he did a preliminary assessment, but there were just scrapes and bruises. He also needed a little energy boost, because the guy was seemingly impermeable, making Virgil’s job a bit harder.

“Ok. I’m done here. What’s it this time?” Elliott stripped off his gloves, grabbing his rather eccentric med kit off a shelf.

“Asshole threw a tree at me.” Virgil grumbled as they took a closer look. “Just slather it with your magic ointment shit and let me go.”

“No, dickhead, there’s to big of a surface area, and it’s too close to your intestines because you have a zero percent body fat.” Elliott grabbed a tube, and started applying small amounts to the already scabbing area. “This might sting a bit, start talking to distract you from it.”

“How’s...Mitchell doing?” Virgil emphasized the syllables of Elliott’s boyfriend with a particular hatred. “Any new assholic behaviors I should know about?” They rolled their eyes, starting to strap a bandage onto Virgil’s side.

“He’s fine, and we’re fine. I started seeing this new therapist, too.” They finished the bandage, and whatever that cream was really started to sting.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, Dr. Picani.” Elliott nodded, smiling, they seemed to actually like this one. Unlike the last guy, who was, to say the least, a transphobic asshole. Virgil didn’t like to waste innocent lives, but there was a special place on his knife for those who hurt the one he considered a little sibling. “His methods are...unorthodox, but I think it’s going to work well.”

“And how does your boyfriend feel about you seeing him?” Virgil asked, eyebrows pinched in concern. Elliott shrunk back, though slightly, and grabbed another product to help with the bruises.

“It doesn’t matter.” That place on his knife? Mitchell was starting to qualify. “Speaking of love lives, though, how’s it with you-know-who?” They raised an eyebrow, slightly wiggling their shoulders.

“Fuck you,” Virgil lightly punched them in the shoulder, but couldn’t help the blushing grin from his face. “He’s extra, beautiful, strong as hell, and the other day he was singing to himself while he got ready. His voice is just incredible, I can’t believe that I live with an angel.” He stopped himself, meeting Elliott’s eyes and their knowing look. “And also, incredibly out of my league.”

“You’re wrong, but that’s something for another time.” Elliott stepped back, allowing Virgil’s shirt to fall over his injuries. “Those should only take a few hours to heal up, bounce coffee shops until the bandage adhesive starts to crust and loosen. Then you should be good to go home, but make sure to use the lotion I gave you every day to keep your skin okay. I just have one more thing, but I think we should talk as we walk, I need to get home.” They glanced over to the corner where they and Virgil had discovered the bug placed by Deceit. It wasn’t always running, but they had no way of knowing when it was.

“Okay,” Virgil grabbed his bag, trading his long coat for a hoodie, “Let’s go, then.”

They sat at a bus stop, waiting for a bus to pull up for Elliott. The wind blew Virgil’s purple streaked hair over to the other side, causing his companion to smirk. He watched as they fiddled with the hem of their skirt, obviously nervous for whatever they had to tell Virgil.

“I had a breakthrough.” Elliott jerked their head up to meet Virgil’s eyes, and stammered on despite his incredulous gaze. “On the fear toxin-esque chemical? Y’know the one he’s been forcing me to make?”

“Shit.” Was the most eloquent thing Virgil could muster.

“I haven’t tested it on humans, but the chemicals should act, when inhaled, as an extreme anxiety amplifier.” They looked so small, and so scared. Elliot had once said that their brain would be the death of them one day, and by their current state, Virgil couldn’t be sure it wouldn’t be. “Virgil, this thing that I’ve created, it could cause panic attacks that paralyze people. I–I don’t want him to have it.” At the last part their voice dropped to a whisper, and tears started to track down their face. Elliott sniffed and rubbed their cheeks, not looking up to meet Virgil’s eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey, hey,” Virgil crouched in front of them. “Breathe. I’ll figure something out, I promise. Just keep breathing.” They took a shuddering breath, matching Virgil’s strokes on their hand. “It’s okay. Just go home, hug your sister, and take a shower. It’ll be okay.” And as much as he wanted to believe that, Virgil didn’t know if he could.

Roman burst the door to his dorm open, expecting the apartment to as empty as he left it. Instead, he was confronted with his purple haired roommate. Shirtless. From the back, he was all lean muscle and sticking out shoulder blades, the curve of his hips falling into his perfectly shaped–

“Roman?” Virgil turned, pausing the toweling of his hair. Roman ripped his eyes up to Virgil’s (only after a glance at his abs, Roman could appreciate art), and nervously scratched his neck. “I wasn’t expecting you to come home this late.”

“Ditto, dude.” Look anywhere but him, you gay motherfucker, anywhere but him. “You’ve been like a ghost the past couple weeks.” It was true, they’d barely seen each other except for studying and occasional ramen breaks since Thanksgiving.

“Yeah, that’s my bad, I’ve been working on a film project that’s mostly being shot at night.” Virgil explained, pulling on a hoodie. Roman walked over to his bed, dropping down and kicking off his shoes. “What’s your excuse, Mr. Double Major?”

“Well, my fucking double major,” Roman laid back onto his pillow, relaxing a bit for the first time that day. “But also, trying to think of a Secret Santa gift for Logan?”

“Oh, that’s a toughie. I got Patton, and I have no ideas, ugh.” Virgil sighed into his hands, plopping cross legged onto his bed. He stuck out a lip, blowing the bangs out of his faces, which was far more endearing than Roman would ever admit.

“But then of course there’s finals,” Roman pulled out his laptop, opening the study spreadsheet that Logan had helped him make. When they had been roommates Roman’s freshman year, the tension and hatred between the two would take a knife to cut. But over time, new friends, growth, and two “frienterventions” (the name was Patton’s idea), they had overcome their differences.

“Oh god, don’t remind me,” Virgil stretched up, his hoodie riding up above his hips, and Roman found himself staring. Not at his body, but rather the faded purple bruises that adorned his hips. Virgil’s eyes narrowed in confusion, but after following Roman’s eyes, he dropped his arms, pulling his sweatshirt over his hips.

“Virgil–” Roman started to reach out, only to be cut off by the other man.

“I need to go shower.” He all but sprinted out of the dorm room, leaving Roman to fall back onto his bed, a million thoughts racing through his mind. And not a single one was good.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. He saw the bruises, even though Virgil had been so careful. He’d been so careful for two months not to come home if he was too beaten up, he’d been so careful to slather on Elliot’s cream whenever he could. He’d been so fucking careful, and yet Roman had still seen the marks.

He threw his towel over a hook, stripping down and turning the shower up as hot as it could go. It burned his skin, but he deserved it, deserved to have all his flesh stripped from his body for hurting him. Deserved to feel the ache on his sides turn to a roaring fire as he pressed inwards, curling into himself. Deserved to feel the hard force of metal on his back as he slammed into the wall of the shower stall, doing his best to breathe as the tears fell, but the oxygen was catching in his throat, and he couldn’t force it down. He stood there for a few minutes, and felt shadows start to envelope him, holding, comforting.

Slowly, he turned the water down, his energy drained from the tight spiral of shadows that still curled around his body.

“Virgil?” Logan’s voice filtered through the steam. Virgil heard the “shink” of the outer shower curtain opening and a muffled “What the hell?”

He turned, trying to collect his racing thoughts. “Logan, what the fuck are you doing?” Virgil thickened this shadows around his body, and he felt the energy leave his body. Logan pushed through the last curtain, a look of pure shock coming over his features. “This isn’t gay fanfiction, you can’t just waltz in here.”

“Well, at least explain all of this.” Logan asked, waving his hand through the lingering shadows. “Is it–is it some sort of concentrated element? It’s fascinating.”

“What? Okay, no, that isn’t–they’re shadows, Logan.” Virgil clenched and unclenched his fist. “Will you please let me put on some damn clothes?”

“Fine. But you are going to explain everything to me as soon as you’re done.” Logan crossed his arms, and Virgil wrapped a towel around himself, the shadows finally dissipating as he exhaled. “Seriously, though, how does it work? Do you conjure them, what the range on it–”

“LOGAN!” Virgil yelled, more forcefully than he intended. “I just had a fucking panic attack because Roman saw the bruises and found out I’ve been lying to him for months. Also, yes, I can manipulate shadows, it’s a sort of dark mattered energy that I’m not exactly certain how works.” Logan just stared at him, eyes wide in front of Virgil’s outburst. “It’s the reason that I kept running away from the homes, until I was fourteen and a fucking criminal mastermind or whatever you want to call him picked me up off the goddamn street.” He could feel the words slurring as he worked himself up, but he needed to tell someone, even if it was just shouting it at his best friend. “You know that guy, the one the news has dubbed ‘Anxiety’? That’s fucking me. I’ve been doing this shit for nine. Fucking. Years. And I’m trapped, and the only thing I can do is keep working for him, keep killing and stealing and breaking for him. I have to keep doing this because if I don’t, he’ll torture and kill everyone I love, and make me watch. I’m so scared, Logan. I’m so fucking scared that I can’t breathe sometimes.” His voice cracked on the last words, and a sob finally escaped his body. Logan reached out, but all Virgil could do was push him away, throw on his clothes, and escape into the starless night.

“Hello?” Phone calls from unknown numbers were something most people were accustomed to, but Elliott didn’t get four in a row from the same number at 1:37 in the morning most nights. Well, five, counting this one.

“Hello. I am attempting to reach Elliott?” They weren’t sure what was going on, but the person on the other side sounded panicked, so they sat up and closed their laptop.

“Yeah, that’s me. What do you need?” Elliot replied, and a heavy exhale came through the phone speakers.

“I’m Logan Xavier, and I’m trying to find Virgil Sanders.” As soon as they heard the words, something clicked inside Elliott. Virgil’s best friend Logan, who appeared to have been affected by the same injections that Elliott and Virgil had, and that his powers were interfacing with technology. How Logan didn’t know about their mutual friend’s shadows, and how Elliott was saved in a private section of Virgil’s computer and phone that could only be accessed if you knew where to look. Or, they guessed, if your brain could automatically hack any system you touched.

“He told you?”

“Yes.” Logan paused, and the weight of his words settled on Elliott’s shoulders. “And now he’s gone. I’ve looked everywhere, and you’re the only one in his contacts I don’t recognize.”

“Yeah,” Elliot threw on a pair of jeans and ran a hand through their hair. “Give me two hours, I can find him.” Logan let out a relieved sigh as Elliott pulled their jacket off its hook. “Oh, and Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“Just let me talk to him, okay? I know where to look, and I know what to do.” They could practically feel the older man opening his mouth to interject. “As good as you are for Virgil in a lot of situations, this isn’t one of them.”

“I understand. Thank you, Elliott. Goodbye.” The line went dead, and Elliott opened their door, stepping out into the city at night.

“You know, sitting on the roof of an abandoned building at 2:30 in the morning kind of marks you as emo.” Virgil looked up from his stare at the tops of surrounding buildings to see Elliott climbing up the last rungs of the access ladder.

“And you joining me kind of marks you as one too.” He responded, smirking through his chapped lips and smudged makeup. “How did you know to look for me?”

“Logan called.” Virgil felt the smirk fall off his face as he turned back to the streets below him. “And we don’t have to talk about him.” He heard footsteps come closer as they neared the ledge he was perched on. “Just scooch over.”

“Well, how did you know where to find me?” Virgil couldn’t help but lean into his friend as he stared at the cars passing by.

“There’s trackers embedded in all your coats, and this was the third abandoned rooftop I checked.” Elliott chuckled under their breath. “Pigeons are much less impressed with my witty one-liners.”

“I have to keep them somewhere, and there’s a lot of abandoned rooftops in this city.” Virgil said in half-hearted protest. The coats were good, they had everything he’d ever needed on a job. And the fabric was warm and comforting, an he didn’t have the energy for any more shadows to blanket himself with.

Elliott leaned back, raising both hands in mock submission. “I wasn’t judging, just observing.”

“Well, they are made by a master of all seam work.” Virgil laughed, a real smile finally adorning his face.

“You flatter me, V.” They joined in his laughter, and Virgil cracked a few more jokes, letting the conversation flow into the night, the sounds of the city drowned out by the sounds of their happiness.

By 3:26, Roman had completely given up on sleep.

After Logan had left around 1:15 with Virgil’s contacts on his phone, Roman knew the night would be long. He’d poured a cup of tea, and cracked opened his textbook, attempt to read about possible respiratory issues in postanesthesia care unit.

By 1:43, Roman had completely given up on studying.

He opened his laptop, a fresh face mask applied to his skin. It was going to be a long night, so he figured that a little bit of Riverdale couldn’t hurt. As it turns out, after watching an episode and a half in his bed, Roman didn’t really care about who was a Southside Serpent and who kissed who. So, naturally, he decided to go to sleep.

That had clearly not panned out.

So that’s how he’d ended up at here, at 3:26, scrolling through his music library to find something to soothe his ever-heightening nerves. He clicked on a random Spotify mix, and opening guitar chords filtered from his speakers, Rihanna’s voice resounding through his speakers.

I think I’ve had enough.

I might get a little drunk.

Roman smiled, and for some reason the song reminded him of others. He started queuing up what he needed, slowly beginning to sing along to the woman he hailed as a queen.

Cause all of my kindness,

Is taken taken for weakness.

He laid back onto his bed, closing his eyes and losing himself for a moment. For a moment, every thought of Virgil, every thought of the purple clad villain almost constantly plaguing his thoughts, every thought about his classes and his upcoming show, they all dissipated. For a moment, he was lost in the beats and instrumentals and melodies. For a moment, he was lost and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be found.

But that moment was shattered as a very tired looking, beaten up Virgil stumbled through the door. He looked up with surprised as he saw Roman was still awake, and fumbled to pull off his headphones.

Roman stood up, his instinct telling him go to him, comfort him, before the events of earlier came crashing down onto his shoulders. He pulled back, giving Virgil some space, and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

“Virgil, I’m sorry about earlier. I overstepped my bounds, it was really uncool of me. I just want to apolo–”

“Roman, stop,” Virgil cut him off, his voice firm and low. Roman looked up at him, and watched a tense, forced smile plaster itself on his friend’s face. “Please. Can we just, can we just talk about this sometime else? I can’t–I can’t really talk about it right now.” He moved to sit on his bed, shedding his long coat and headphones. “Oh, is this that album you wanted me to listen to?”

Roman had completely forgotten the music that was still playing, and he tuned in to hear the first chorus of a song he’d been begging Virgil to listen to for months. Deciding to let the subject change, he switched his queue to the rest of the album, leaning back on his bed once more.

He wanted to say something, to comfort Virgil, but every time he opened his mouth the words died in his throat. There was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. There were his powers, of course, but how could he use them to protect Virgil when he didn’t know who was hurting him? If he asked, he could end up in a state like tonight, or worse. There was just no right thing to say or do, and Roman turned the thought over and over in his mind until a restless sleep finally claimed him.

[spongebobsins]

Everything Wrong With The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

(Full disclosure: I actually did this before on DA a few years ago, so this is a spruced up version of that post. It’s been updated with my current standards and some new jokes but isn’t totally different. Still, hope you enjoy)

1.Viacom

2.There’s a whole opening scene with pirates, yet Patchy is nowhere to be seen

3.This guy thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to step out of the way of the door before the guy came out.

4.Because this is a SpongeBob movie, I can ignore a lot of stuff here, but there are like 50 pirates here, and only like 6 tickets.

5.These pirates are making a huge rowdy mess…and yet if I was there, it wold still be one my better theater expereinces.

6.Wait, the movie within the movie just starts with no title? There’s s no title in the credits, which is part of the movie within the movie, so what kind of movie has no title in it at all?

7.Also, the screening just starts with no trailers?

8.Why wasn’t the manager here to begin with, if the place was open.

9.They seriously called the cops about the cheese? Can’t someone else just…put cheese on it

9.“Weird sound in dream turns out be normal sound waking them up” cliché.

10.It being a dream forgives a few sins…but it’s still a dream cliche so..

11. Let’s talk about the Krusty Krab 2. How could have a hugely popular restaurant, function for this only with only ONE in existence?

12 Also, at no point do we see them hire extra employees for the other  KK, there’s just a new manager, but there’s like 2 employees in this place besides Mr Krabs. …How did a place like this ever function with only two employees, anyway?

13.Spongebob has underwear in this shot, but when his pants…open up, he’s nude.

14.Also, Butt joke.

15.SpongeBob’s teeth should not be in good shape if he only brushes his eyes.

16.Even for SpongeBob, barging in Squid’s shower is…creepy.

17.There’s nothing under this rock so where did Patrick’s pants come from? 18.All this excitement over a place that has never been mentioned before now.

19.Wait, KK 2 is next to the first one? That’s really stupid.

20.”Lord knows I’ve tried” Which lord though? Is relgion a thing under the sea?

21/know Plankton doesn’t always have common sense, but he seriously has never heard of the letter Z?! Or at least he hasn’t seen that file clearly there.

22. Plan Z seems to be Plan Porn, ew.

23.The Chum Bucket isn’t directly across the street like it should be.

24.How he does not hear his screams?

25.Also, the plankton smear vanishes in the next shot.

26.“I paid 9 dollars for this?” ‘I paid ten”. That’s racist.

27.I know SpongeBob is” immature” but Squidward is literately the worst worker ever, so why was he picked? At least SB is a good worker.

28.If you listen really closely, you near hear Mr  Krabs whispering jackass. That’s sinful because he said swearing is bad back in Sailor Mouth and got trouble with his Mom over it.

29.Another butt joke. 30.Wait, he doesn’t like people touching the crown yet he hired someone to clean it?

31.Even if this is meant to a different character than the God Neptune, why are we only just now knowing there’s a King of the sea, especially since he’s so close to a place the leads apparently go to a lot?

32.How the hell did no one notice Plankton taking the crown? Mindy is looking in the general direction of it, and while plankton is tiny, they should at least hear it moving or something.

33.There’s no guards outside to possible see the crown flying away.

34/Goofy Goober has a lollipop in this shot, but when that hand thing comes out, it’s gone

35.  There’s only one row of chairs in the nut bar here, but when SpongeBob starts to leave, there’s another corner where more chairs are over there. 36.And they’re drunk, in a family film.

37/They didn’t kick them out for getting drunk in front of kids?

38.Wait, if they’re at the KK 2, who is taking care of the first one right now?

39.”You left one DAMNING piece of evidence-” Whoa, Language!

40.We did not see Plankton bring paper with him at all so I must question this.

41.Also, Mr. Krabs could try to find some stuff he wrote to show this isn’t his handwriting. 42.There’s never a phone here but it’s now there for this joke.

43.How can Plankton hear over anything over the phone if Mr Krabs hung up?

44.Mr Krabs’ clothes magically grow back

45.Discount My Leg!

46.Everyone in the Krusty Krab magically appears before that part, and disappears right after. Hell, you can see two fish eating in the background like nothing’s happening!

47.Patrick, out of nowhere!

48.Patrick being horny for Mindy goes nowhere and is a bit creepy.

49.The wheels are made of pickles in this shot, but when they leave, they are real wheels.

50.There’s seriously no one at the Krusty Krab or even outside to see this?

51.Stereotypical hillbillies are Stereotypical, and a bit annoying.

52.”No Patrick they’re laughing next to us” Hey, only I get to be pedantic around here!

53.How did no one see that guy coming?

54.How did she get that footage?

55.I like that the airhorn from the previous scene is sitll here but it was nowhere to be seen before than so..

56.The thug doesn’t recognize Patrick from earlier.

57 No one in the bar is seen with any tools normally used for bubble blowing, and since they somehow don’t know it came from the bathroom, no one in that room should be suspected.

58.They were standing in place the whole time and everything was far away when they beat up the double dude, so how did Patrick get the key?

59.Villain asks who can stop them now and it cuts to the heroes cliché.

60.A monster having an part that looks like a talking old lady makes no sense  and you know it, so let’s move on.

61.How did the bubble soap get outside?

62.The stairs to the trench randomly appear and reappear throughout this scene.

63.Patrick has only worn those underpants once in the whole show…and it was in an episode after this movie!

64.Even with that carriage, how did Mindy get here so fast? She has no mermaid magic.

65.“Did you see my underwear?” “No Patrick ‘ “Did you want to?” …Ew.

66. The plankton statue in complete in this shot, but in the next shot it’s under construction.

67.I know Plankton wanted Neptune to fry Mr Krabs, but since he controls everyone, couldn’t he storm the castle and use the bucket on Neptune to get the job done quicker?

68.Hate to get critical, but sometimes these cuts to Dennis ruin the flow of scenes.

69.How does that seaweed stay on?

70.“Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?” Spongebob would be great at SpongeBobSins.

71.This song is awesome until you realized they lazily reused some title card music from the show.

…But it’s still awesome, so..

71. ”Even the hideous disgusting monsters!” That’s racist.

72.“That way you’ll never found out that he stole the crown” Dennis is an idiot.

73.Man, what is with this movie and characters appearing without being heard?

74.You know, randomly walking around underwater in a desolate area with barely any fish isn’t really that efficient, given what he’s using them for as we find out in a minute.(Although it clearly worked before so this sin is debatable)

75.Why does he wear his diver’s outfit while on land?

76.“Alexander Clam Bell!” Booooo

77.Okay, so how did Plankton get the crown all the way here anyway?

78.How the heck did they not see that huge crown this whole time?

The entire scene is insanely emotional, especially for SpongeBob. I’m not made of stone so…yeah.

78.The pirates ruins it a tad though.

79.Discount Potty, which makes the lack of Patchy worse. He’s even voiced by Stephen!

80.“Tears bring someone back to life” cliché.

81.Also, these detectors do not work that way.

82..Because a bit of water will bring dead fish back to life, right? It makes sense for the duo but not the ones that have been dead for ages.

83.Poop joke.

84.The Hasselhoff cameo is funny but how many kids even know him, even I 2004?

85,I’m not even gonna ask how Dennis got here with the boot. Still sinning it, of course.

86.Hoff barely feels this epic battle going on, on his back.

87.You’ve got a time limit but sure, 10 seconds to liftoff.

88.They made a big deal out of that lock but now it’s just gone.

89.Karen isn’t there before SB and Pat show up, but now she’s here.

90. Why didn’t he put the bucket on Neptune beforehand? Would have made this a lot easier, makes my previous sin more of an issue.

91.Now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us!

92.This is amazing, one of the best things ever…but it’s also the biggest Deus Ex Machina ever.

93.”No freakin’ way!” The soundtrack version changes this because freakin’ is just too intense for kids I guess.

Eh screw it, sin removed!

93. From the looks of it, the town literally fixed itself in a matter of hours.

94.“I was just tell you that  that your fly is down!” …He doesn’t wear pants. 95,Freeze frame ending.

96.The credits feel the need to inform us that Karen is a computer wife.

97. Way too many minutes of credits for the sake of padding the soundtrack. 98.Post credits scene. SpongeBob is my favorite Marvel movie.

MOVIE SIN TALLY: 98

SENTENCE: Beaten senseless (by every able boded patron in the bar)

And after a slight delay, this is finally done. Even though I had to refurbish something I already did, this sitll took some more, to see what new sins to add and what to keep I tried my best to make sure the sins are good here and hopefully only a few are weird/filler.

This is certainly a few easy movie to sin, but is still highly enjoyable. Might do a win post for it someday, we’ll see. But for now, here are the sins of a good representation of the series.

With that out of the way come back in about mid February or a bit later as dive into Season 4 and see how sinful it ends up being. I’m judging all SpongeBob on the same level, so we’ll see how the sins are.

See ya then.

(Dedicated to Stephen Hilenburg)

[twotravelinglanes-blog]

Sultry Savannah

Sultry Savannah

When I think of charming Southern cities, Savannah, Ga., and Charleston, S.C., immediately come to mind. Despite growing up in nearby Kentucky, I'd never been to either city until last year, when David and I stopped over in Savannah for a few nights during our cross-country trek home from New England. We wanted to enjoy our six-week vacation until the last possible minute, and Savannah seemed a natural choice as we meandered South on Interstate 95.

Dinner at the historic The Olde Pink House restaurant and tavern was an interesting look back at southern hospitality and good down home food. We put our Good Sam Club membership to good use and stayed at Camp Lake Jasper RV Park in nearby Hardeeville, S.C., just across the Georgia state line from Savannah. It was a short drive into the city from the campground, and we left our bicycles behind with the RV, having read about how compact and walkable the city is. Sure enough, we managed to see and do everything we wanted from the driver's seat and on foot. After a quick drive to get the lay of the land we discovered two things: the park-like, city squares can be enjoyed up close or from the driver's seat, while the more touristy river district along the Savannah River requires hands-on attention. Towering Oak Trees Dripping in Spanish Moss All in all, I was surprised by how fun and fascinating the city is, steeped in history as rich as the gorgeous live oak trees that envelop it. We parked on the street and strolled leisurely among the quaint city squares, each of which is adorned with mammoth live oak trees dripping in Spanish moss. We marveled at the striking beauty around us, at the two-story, pastel-colored houses that line the main streets. After taking in the town center's charm and stopping for some coffee nearby, we got back in the car and headed to the riverfront district, much livelier and more touristy and with a vibe of its own. The iconic oak trees were everywhere, towering over the city for hundreds of years as a beautiful testament to the rich history here.

Wormsloe plantation is a few miles outside of Savannah with its long driveway shrouded in hundreds of overhanging oak trees. We circled around the somewhat-confusing riverfront district in search of a parking spot, noticing how the cobblestone streets and walkways descend in rapid fashion from river to street level. In late June it was very hot here, so we stopped at a local bar for a cold beer while we people-watched and searched online for a good dinner spot. Where to eat in Savannah Hands-down, fellow travelers said we must visit The Olde Pink House, a quintessential favorite for Southern cuisine that's housed within an 18th-Century mansion near the river. In fact, the mansion is one of the few buildings that survived the Great Fire of 1796, which destroyed 229 buildings in Savannah. We made reservations online and waited excitedly for our 6:30 p.m. dinner time to arrive. Just walking into the two-story mansion was a treat. We were greeted by wooden floors, a curving staircase, old paintings and shimmering, vintage chandeliers. We were instantly transported into colonial America, and the servers greeted us with the formal language used in the 18th Century. We got a romantic table upstairs near a window and enjoyed warm bread and butter as we perused the extensive low country menu. I opted for the crispy flounder with apricot shallot sauce, grits and collard greens, and David went for his favorite -- fried chicken and macaroni and cheese. Although the prices were not cheap -- $35 for mine and $27 for David's -- the meals were delicious and the service impeccable, making for an incredible value overall.

Waiting for our dinner at the The Olde Pink House in downtown Savannah. After stuffing ourselves and savoring our food a while, we decided to stroll down to the basement to see the tavern and dining area there. It was an amazing change in atmosphere, and we almost wished we'd requested a basement table given it warmth and coziness. We could only imagine the historic moments that had transpired down in this dimly lit basement, a rustic fireplace serving as a centerpiece to the romantic space. Wormsloe plantation: History and Fun We walked back toward the river district and meandered along the scenic riverfront a bit, enjoying the famous Waving Girl statue and others as we headed to the car. The next day we stopped at Wormsloe plantation, founded in 1702 and containing the oldest standing structure in Savannah.

The long entrance road to Wormsloe plantation, covered in a canopy of oak trees. A breathtaking canopy of live oaks and moss greets you at the entrance, and costumed interpreters greeted us at some buildings, explaining life in the 1733 plantation and the founding of Savannah, Georgia's first colony. The state acquired most of the plantation in 1973 and turned it into a state historic site. Savannah left a lasting impression on us, even after a brief visit. I'm sure we'll find more to love on our next trip.

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[craftygal65]

Tuesday's letters: Crackdown on rundown homes long overdue

Nov 01, 2022 • 35 minutes ago • 6 minute read • Join the conversation

A boarded-up and fire-damaged home along 95 Street near 110 Avenue in Edmonton, Friday Oct. 28, 2022. Photo by David Bloom /Postmedia

Re. “Council considers steep tax increase in effort to target derelict properties,” Oct. 29

Bravo to the city for instigating taxing derelict properties at triple the current rate. This is long overdue: vacant, boarded-up houses pose a huge safety threat to our communities. The recent gas explosion in northeast Edmonton, where a boarded-up house exploded, seriously damaging the next door neighbour’s house; this could have easily been a fatal explosion.

Just last week, the giant fire of a boarded-up condominium building on 149 Street which required multiple fire stations responding, still putting out the fire the next day. Who pays for all this emergency responder time? We do, the taxpayers. Vacant properties are always the last to clear their walks in the winter, if ever, and often have foot-high noxious weeds all summer. They pull down surrounding property values as they are a year-round eyesore. The city needs to send these disrespectful property owners a clear message: we as taxpayers and neighbours will no longer tolerate their dumpy properties. Tripling their tax rate is a great idea.

Judy Clare-Packer, Edmonton

🏚🏠🏡🛤🏚🏠🏡🏘🏚🏚🏠🏡🏚🏠🏡🏘🏚🏠🏡

Derelict homes may face three-times property tax rate in Edmonton

Author of the article: Lauren Boothby

Publishing date:Oct 28, 2022 • 3 days ago • 3 minute read • 8 Comments

A boarded up home along 95 Street near 110 Avenue. On Friday, Oct. 27, 2022, the community and public services committee tasked city staff with drafting a new tax subclass for rundown homes and ways the bylaws can be changed to target them. PHOTO BY DAVID BLOOM /Postmedia

Edmonton is taking another step toward cracking down on derelict buildings by potentially taxing rundown homes three times the current rate.

On Friday, the community and public services committee tasked city staff with drafting a new tax subclass for rundown homes and ways the bylaws can be changed to target them. Focusing on homes deemed unfit for habitation by Alberta Health Services (AHS), this would impact around 108 residential properties in the city — commercial buildings aren’t included.

City staff will also look at creating a program to incentivize repairs in a so-far undefined area of the city, such as a grant-back program that would partially refund the affected property owners the difference between the higher and regular rates after fixing the problems.

Mayor Amarjeet Sohi told councillors he’s happy with the work being done in tandem with the fire department to crack down on problem properties, and he knows this is an issue for residents like those living around 118 Avenue.

“From my perspective, we should have zero tolerance for derelict properties and we should be getting (more from) these slum landlords. This will allow us another tool that we need to get this work going.”

Coun. Ashley Salvador said this has been a long-standing challenge across the city including in Ward Métis: “I think this is an absolutely worthwhile cause to explore.”

Ward Karhiio Coun. Keren Tang said she saw some derelict buildings and empty storefronts “adding to the blight Downtown” years ago, and she’s glad the city is taking action now.

“I’m also excited that, as a city, we are at the forefront of this, potentially setting examples and supporting other municipalities if they’re dealing with similar issues,” she said.

What is a derelict property?

Committee members landed on a narrower definition of derelict residential properties from among a list of options.

This approach, councillors heard, relies on AHS orders placed on land titles which are relatively easy for assessors to find and include in a new tax subclass. However, this also means fewer properties would make the cut meaning it could be less useful, and homes that appear in shape from the outside but have other issues, like a pest infestation, will also be included.

The broader approach, impacting around 388 properties, would have defined “derelict residential” property where a home shows serious signs of neglect, is dilapidated, falling into significant disrepair or is uninhabitable, including buildings that are abandoned, partially or fully boarded up, or have been issued AHS orders.

But city staff warned this could have unintended consequences and requires more staffing. There could also be legal challenges because the definition of “unoccupied” isn’t clearly laid out in provincial legislation.

“It would likely catch more properties than may be intended, however, it does have the advantage of providing an incentive for redevelopment, particularly if it is introduced in tandem with a grant-back program,” Cate Watt, assessment and taxation branch manager, said during the previous committee meeting on Wednesday.

Councillors also heard that going after non-residential properties would be difficult for several reasons, including limitations of the city’s current tax assessment software that would be very expensive to upgrade.

Edmonton’s community property safety team pilot is also continuing until next October.

The team uses an escallating enforcement model to order property owners to secure vacant properties at their expense. Since April 2022, eight properties given such orders have been demolished, and two have been renovated and are legally occupied. In total, 39 properties deemed “high risk” have been secured, demolished or upgraded.

Firefighters hose down hot spots at a vacant building fire located at 132 Avenue and 114 Street in Edmonton on Monday May 31, 2021. The fire started at approximately 3 a.m. Fire investigators were on scene.

Edmonton considers both punishments and incentives for derelict properties

Between January 2021 and the end of last February, the city listed another 251 vacant and derelict locations as problem properties.

Author of the article: Lauren Boothby

Publishing date:Apr 11, 2022 • April 11, 2022 • 2 minute read • 7 Comments

Firefighters hose down hot spots at a vacant building fire located at 132 Avenue and 114 Street in Edmonton on Monday May 31, 2021. The fire started at approximately 3 a.m. Fire investigators were on scene.

Firefighters hose down hot spots at a vacant building fire located at 132 Avenue and 114 Street in Edmonton on Monday May 31, 2021. The fire started at approximately 3 a.m. Fire investigators were on scene. PHOTO BY LARRY WONG /Postmedia, file

Hitting property owners with higher taxes or offering grants for repairs are options city councillors will explore this week to tackle derelict or vacant buildings causing nuisance and safety concerns in Edmonton.

Between January 2021 and the end of last February, the city listed another 251 vacant and derelict locations as problem properties. These include noisy locations or unlicensed businesses that have a “significant detrimental impact to the surrounding area,” including harm to the health and safety of neighbours, occupants and employees, according to a staff report.

On Monday, a council committee will look at various options to deal with them. A new residential tax subclass charging higher taxes on derelict residential properties is one option.

“This would create a deterrent for property owners owning such properties to allow them to fall into disrepair,” reads the report.

The same could be applied to non-residential properties but it would be more difficult to enforce since they would need to be unoccupied for more than one year, city officials say

Should the city proceed with the tax, staff suggest also offering an incentive.

“This type of tax tool may best be implemented when paired with a grant that will encourage the remediation of these problem properties by the end of the taxation year,” the report states. “The amount of the grant could be based on the difference between the higher tax rate applied to derelict properties, and the lower tax rate applied to most residential properties.

“This would create both an incentive and a disincentive to deal with derelict residential properties.”

Problem properties are a symptom of larger social issues, staff say, and efforts to address them must also look to affordable housing, anti-racism initiatives, reconciliation, crime prevention, making spaces safe and inclusive, and improving equity and diversity.

Edmonton will also begin a three-month pilot project called the Community Property Safety Team by the end of this month to escalate enforcement.

“This team will be responsible for securing and holding landowners accountable for vacant and unsecured buildings that pose a fire risk to the surrounding community. If the property owners are not compliant, administration will pursue remedial action to make these properties safe at the property owners’ cost,” according to the report.

Since 2018, the city has identified 486 problem properties and conducted 1,337 inspections and 2,560 enforcement actions to address them.

lboothby@postmedia.com

Tuesday's letters: Crackdown on rundown homes long over...

© 2022 Edmonton Journal, a division of Postmedia Network Inc. All rights reserved. Unauthorized distribution, transmission or republication strictly prohibited.

[pauldeckerus]

The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

Today is a big holiday in the US; it’s a day where we take time off to celebrate all the things we’re thankful for. We get together with family; over-eat a traditional Thanksgiving Day meal, and then we watch football until we pass out. It’s just about a perfect day.

I got up this morning feeling especially grateful for the many blessings I enjoy all year long, and I wanted to take a few minutes to share the things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving Day. I believe counting your blessings is one of the best things a person can do (and that this list of 200 is only a start, is a real blessing to me for sure).

Here they are, (in no particular order):

I’m thankful….

1. that I got to marry the girl of my dreams (it’ll be 30-years this coming September)

2. for Keurig Coffee Makers

3. for little hole-in-the-wall restaurants

4. for having a big brother I could always look up to

5. that she said “yes!”

6. for the “Skip” button on YouTube ads 

7. when I hear the ringtone that lets me know my son is texting us

8. for Seinfeld reruns 

9. that I learned how to use Photoshop and Lightroom

10. for lazy Saturday mornings when we just chill

11. for Saturday College Football games and that our son chose a big football school (#rolltide!)

12. for Hulu and Netflix and Amazon Prime

13. for Maggie the Wonderdog

14. for how happy Maki the SuperDog makes my wife

15. for that first cup of coffee in the morning

16. that my wife got us a Latte maker

17. for big greasy double-cheeseburgers served in restaurants whose cleanliness is so suspect that my wife would never eat there.

18. for anytime I drive up to our house, and see our son’s truck sitting out front

19. that first morning hug from my wifey

20. that the Buc’s miserable season is mercifully almost over

21. that this year the Patriot’s aren’t as good as they usually are

22. for any chilly day here in Florida

23. for my daughter’s wonderful sense of humor

24. when my daughter shares her drawings with me

25. for CoffeeMate individual creamers

26. that my son was born with the built-in love of helping and looking out for other people

27. for the text my son just sent us as I’m writing this that brought tears to my eyes 

28. for my daughter’s laugh

29. for all the family traditions that my wife fosters and we all lover

30. that our kids get to attend great schools

31. for Dunkin Donut’s drive-thru in the morning, and that they’ll make your coffee just the way you like it

32. for Terry White

33. for the kind people who read my blog each day

34. for all the little things

35. for our cozy couch for watching TV

36. for Logic Pro X (the wonderful recording studio software on my Mac)

37. for Pizza, and the fine people who deliver them. 

38. for mornings where Maggie doesn’t bark at other children and parents in the car line

39. that my son is such a faithful person by nature

40. for Sunday night’s texting my buddy Jeff Revell as we watch ‘The Walking Dead’ together, while 1,000 miles apart

41. for our tradition of watching “Love Actually” again every Christmas

42. for living so close to Disney World

43. for how awesome my wife is at planning trips

44. for being married to such an amazing cook

45. for a really comfy bed pillow

46. for Rick and Susan Sammon

47. for all my guitars

48. for beautiful offices for us to work in each day

49. to have Jessica, Kim and Cindy work on my books

50. that people actually buy my books, which lets me keep writing them

51. for the smell of my wife’s cooking when I walk in the door

52. for times when just my daughter and I get to go out to lunch

53. for Moose and Sharon

54. for Dave, Peter, and Glyn 

55. for having such a wonderful mother and father growing up. 

56. for being able to play musical instruments

57. for having mentors whose wisdom and whip-cracking have helped immeasurably throughout my life

58. for Jeanne Jilleba who helps me so much each day

59. for having a great relationship with my mother and father-in-law

60. for having a mother-in-law who stepped in for my own mother when she passed away

61. for the trips my brother and I take together once a year

62. to Delta, their SkyClub, and all the upgrades I get each year

63. to Erik Kuna for being my friend

64. for all the folks who come out to my seminars each year.

65. that I still get to work with my friend Ted Waitt

66. for Levi, and Sally and Dianne for caring so much about our members

67. for Chris, Susie, Karen and Pam – I’m lucky to work with them

68. for my wife’s beautiful smile

69. for how my son always shares new songs he finds with me

70. for all the times my wife texts me a heart emoji

71. for somebody’s else’s fries

72. for how my friend Dave Clayton’s texts always make me laugh out loud

73. that my kids know they are loved completely and unconditionally 

74. for my Pastor and friend Douglas Poole

75. for Victoria’s sweet texts, and for what a joy she is

76. that I get to drive a car each day that makes driving a joy

77. for really good air conditioning

78. that I get to use such great camera and lighting gear

79. for Google’s news app on my phone

80. for my great Web team; Adam, Aaron, Yo, and Curt 

81. for everybody who checked on my wifey when she got in an accident

82. for black t-shirts with logos on them

83. for Dave Black, Kristy Sherk, Lindsay Adler and Peter Hurley, 

84. for the beautiful baby grand piano Kalebra bought for my birthday 20+ years ago

85. that I’ve been able to be a part of the Photoshop World conference all these years

86. for when great ideas pop in my head, and for being able to move on when it turns out some of them aren’t as great as I thought

87. for all my friends who came to the rescue

88. for the pretty drive to work in the mornings

89. for Juan, Steve, Jason and Christina

90. that my daughter and our niece are such great friends

91. that my son loves so many different kinds of music (everything from classic rock to Sinatra to rap to metal)

92. for all the times my big brother helped me, and guided me, when I was growing up.

93. for my apple watch and all the reminders it gives me

94. for weekends and days off

95. for the smell of coffee brewing

96. for Margie, Angela, Jacque, John and Rachel

97. for Maxx Hammond for being such a great friend to my son all these years, and for being an important part of our family

98. for comfortable shoes

99. for having a friend like Manny

100. for loving every minute with my family

101. for the men and women of our military 

102. for Julie, Kleber, Heidi and Cheryl

103. for the little Blackstar tube amp sitting on my desk

104. anytime I get to go to New York City

105. for our dear friend and partner Jean A.

106. for James Taylor

107. for all the awesome texts I’m getting from friends today

108. that my daughter still cares that I bake my special “Christmas Cookies” each year when we put up the tree (and I’m grateful she thinks Pillsbury mean ‘special’).

109. my guardian angel 

110. for bagels with cream cheese

111. for Larry Tiefenbrunn

112. for first responders

113. that my camera bag has four wheels

114. for Viktor and Ron

115. for Larry Becker, Rob Sylvan, and Dave Williams

116. for my friends Chicky Nando, and Big Mike, and Cathy B, and Mimo

117. for all the stuff in Erik’s backpack (since he always has that thing I need that I forgot to bring)

118. for waking up feeling great in the morning!

119. for Joe and Annie

120. that our dog Maki has a best friend in our son’s dog Nami

121. for beautiful clouds when I’m shooting a sunrise

122. for a yummy breakfast after a sunrise shoot

123. for my wife’s homemade chocolate-chip pancakes

124. for the sound of my wife’s voice

125. for mornings when I get up early and get a bunch of stuff done and I look up and it’s only 8:15 am

126. for landings in London

127. the quiet time my wife and I share with our coffee in the mornings before the kids wake up

128. My MacBook Pro and how much easier it makes my business life each day

129. for forgiveness 

130. that I realize what a privileged, blessed life I lead, and to whom I owe the thanks

131. that I start each day getting centered reading the Bible and daily devotionals

132. for how my daughter is always dancing

133. for the night’s where our family gets together to play games

134. for when we all lay on the floor, looking up and debate how tall the ceiling is in our living room

135. for our holiday trips to Disney’s Hollywood Studios

136. for cheese. Any kind of cheese. Even if it dispenses from a can

137. that somebody kept reading even though we’re down to number 137

138. that we have doggie treats when we really need them

139. for breakfasts at First Watch

140. for Carmine’s on W. 44th Street

141. for all the awesome instructors I get to work with

142. for empty middle seats

143. for my iPad and all the awesome apps, like the Kindle Reader

144. for the Texture app so I can read all my favorite magazines on my iPad

145. that I get to make new friends along the way

146. that people come to my workshops and I get to make new friends

147. for everyone who has stuck up for me in an online forum

148. for all the people who helped me along the way, and who may be gone, but are not forgotten

149. for the great companies and partners who sponsor The Grid

150. that I get to do a weekly live photography show and have such wonderful photographers as guests

151. for my Platypod Ultra

152. that my employees have a long weekend this weekend

153. for my lunch this week with an old friend

154. that we work so close to one of the best Cuban restaurants 

155. for Tara our awesome official Chilis server for over 10-years now

156. for how happy fresh flowers make my wife

157. to see how happy it makes Kalebra when we all eat our vegetables at dinner

158. for a beautiful yard for the doggos to run in. 

159. for Sundays when I sleep in really late

160. that my son left his awesome drum kit here so I can play it

161. that my old rock band from high-school still gets together to play our high-school reunion party

162. that I live in a very sunny place

163. for Google search

164. for every time my wife is cooking and says “I’m trying something different tonight.” It always leads to a delicious meal!

165. that I always remember our anniversary

166. that our family makes birthdays really special for each other

167. that we have a photographic art gallery and that we get to celebrate our member’s work there

168. that I have such a great art director for my shoots in Kalebra

169. for William C. Miller, my high school band director, who taught us more than music.

170. that I was born and raised here

171. for Deb, John, Bob, Sam, and all my friends in Boston

172. for the Sci-Fi Drive-In Theatre restaurant 

173. for Frank Doorhof

174. for all the summers in Sarasota at the beach when I was growing up

175. for getting to board early

176. for Larry Grace, Ed Buice, and Rob Foldy

177. for Superchargers

178. for when the dogs realize it was just a random sound and stop barking

179. for all the live concerts, Broadway shows, and performances I’ve experienced

180. for my wife’s guardian angel, who has been working overtime lately

181. for Zephyrhills bottled spring water

182. for the times my brother and I get to play golf

183. for the Genius Bar in the Apple Store 

184. for Chili’s chips and salsa

185. for now thoughtful my wife is

186. for afternoon’s at the movies

187. for the times when I could think of the perfect gift

188. for all the people who participate in my Worldwide Photo Walk and for the joy it brings me to see their smiling faces in their group shots

189. for everyone who has donated to the Springs of Hope Kenya orphanage

190. for all the wonderful gifts I treasure that Kalebra has gotten me over the years

191. for all my friends at Canon USA

192. for everybody who follows me on social media, and shares a kind word or says something nice about one of my images.

193. for every handmade birthday card my daughter has made for me

194. that my son is a way better version of me

195. for all the times when my wife knows exactly what to say and how to say it

196. that people are kind when they point out my typos on my blog

197. that I love to drive

198. that I still get to play with Scotty and Tony in a band. 

199. for how easy it was to come up with 200 things I’m grateful for

200. for God, and His Son Jesus Christ, for leading me to the woman of my dreams, for blessing us with such amazing children, for allowing me to make a living doing something I truly love, for always being there when I need Him, for blessing me with a wonderful, fulfilling, and happy life, and such a warm, loving family to share it with.

Here’s wishing you a Thanksgiving full of family, food, gratitude for our many blessings, and I hope your team wins this weekend unless you’re playing Alabama! #rolltide!

All my best, 

-Scott

The post The Top 200 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving appeared first on Scott Kelby's Photoshop Insider.

from Photography News https://scottkelby.com/the-top-200-things-im-thankful-for-this-thanksgiving/

[theairportau]

the airport AU, part 130 by rjdaae and hopsjollyhigh

Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 101, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10 111, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29

—

ERIK

Her voice wraps around him, gleaming silk ribbons that catch light like prisms and send stars scattering across his vision; he shuts his eyes for the sake of focusing on the piano below his fingers. Still, it sits like a reassuring arm across his shoulder. This is why he believed in this voice; it isn’t technical perfection, but there is some unteachable passion in it, something that he doesn’t even understand himself. Her voice stirs something deep inside of him, the frail pieces that he has locked up for their own protection, things that he has forgotten himself capable of over the course of a too-long life. It is a wall so industriously built that he had thought it permanent, but when she sings, it is as if she is chipping out a window. A window that may someday become a door, that may someday bring down that wall- it’s too soon for all of that, but his heart throbs with things that he can’t name, and he is too caught up in the wonder and beauty of it all to be afraid of the freedom, the sudden ease of breathing. As if he’d been holding his breath, not just for a few minutes, but for decades of his life.

He is quite convinced that he could listen to her sing forever, especially this joyous passage. It almost feels like an intrusion, but at the very least, the words of Vaudémont’s interjection feel right-

“Yes! It’s true! You speak the truth!”

The conviction in his voice- she has brought him the truth, bathed his dim world in light; perhaps, like Vaudémont, he had begun this journey as a teacher, as though he knew more than her- and every day, she has pushed him, challenged him, changed his way of looking at the world. His way of looking at her. Vaudémont had been arrogant, to assume that this young woman knew any less of the world than he did; he had been unchanging in his ability to perceive the world until Iolanta described the way she saw it.

These things come to him rapid-fire, moments of clarity that hit him and spark at him before fading back into the background, before thought sinks away and the music rises up again.

Oh, you’re right! In your heart shines the great torch of truth, and before it, our earthly light is fleeting and pitiful!

Any light he’s ever seen has paled in comparison to the radiance that seems to bounce between them now, the vibrating energy that draws the song forward and through towards its conclusion; at some point, he finds, he must have half-stood up from the bench, too restless to sit, hunched over the keys. He lets his eyes close again, focuses only on each tandem breath, living inside these final moments, if only to avoid dreading the end of the song. 

---

CHRISTINE

The song could only ever have been a duet. There’s no real gap between the end of Christine’s verse and the beginning of Erik’s. No room for a breath, had a single person attempted to sing both parts; no span of time that could have been measured in blinks of an eye, or the quickest beat of a frantic heart.

Standing just behind her friend, Christine freezes in that nonexistent space between her voice and his, gaze caught like a snared rabbit by the glinting wire of the mask—conscious thought scrabbling uselessly in the dust as emotion leaps and wrestles with instinct, twisting her heart into a tangled, choking knot.

Only to snap just as suddenly, sawn apart by the razor edge of the moment itself.

Vaudémont’s words describe a light within Iolanta; Christine’s own heart feels more like the moon as Erik’s voice floods over her again, the warm blaze of a star that she can only hope to reflect. Yet, there can be no disputing the faith, the absolute certainty of the sound that fills her ears; she shivers as bright wings lift her from the ledge on which she had been so precariously perched, raising her beyond the reach of the tempting whispers of the abyss below.

As if pulled by the same force, Erik rises partway from the piano bench, blocking her view of the sheet music; though, the markings on the tablet screen have long since ceased to matter. The song soars onward, hauling her feet off the ground even as she races joyously after it. It’s like gripping a kite string in a hurricane—a strong line that stretches through her, taut as it runs from head to heel, dredging her voice from the deepest part of her soul.

“But, to be like you, I would like to see the light of the sun!”

Music flows through them, around them, between them—living in the solid vibration of the piano, in the breath of their each shared note, like some kind of symbiotic creature; making *them* somehow more alive by its presence. Maybe this, she thinks, is the reason most operas are sung-through: who could bear to write silences into a score, knowing that they would be signing the death warrant of something so precious?

Yet, even as their own song flies inescapably towards its conclusion, Christine finds no pain, no tragedy in the beautiful, soaring phrases. To its last breath, the heart of the music beats without regret, unrestrained and fearless. What she’d taken for death is instead a triumphant ascension—Faust’s Marguerite taken up to heaven, borne in angels’ arms.

Her heart aches to recognize how lost she had been: to have seen a sunset, and believed that it meant endless night; to have resigned herself to a lifetime of stumbling with only a candle to guide her, when she had merely to wait for the return of morning. It’s disconcerting, unsettling, her view shifting like a sudden landslide—like Iolanta’s first terrifying, dazzling glimpse of the blue sky after agreeing to have her vision restored.

The light in the basement is dim, soft, as Christine opens eyes that she doesn’t remember having closed. The late afternoon sun trickles in through the single high window, like the glow that must have streamed into the mouth of Lazarus’ cave. Painting warmth and shadow with the same brush, it shines dully on the weathered body of the piano, on Erik’s shoulders, which shake slightly as he stands over the keyboard, driving the final chords from the instrument in a dynamic clash of sound. Her eyes well up to see him so transported—the thought occurring to her that she might not have been the only one to learn something in this ‘lesson’.

Silence comes too quickly.

Despite herself, despite knowing better, Christine can’t help the residual flare of panic that hits her. For a moment, it’s as if she’s forgotten how to breathe, desperately and irrationally uncertain of how to survive in a world from which music has disappeared again—like a life ring slipping from the hands of a drowning person.

Then, her friend takes an unsteady breath of his own; in it, she hears the first note of all the other songs they will sing together.

Tears spill over, running down Christine’s cheeks as she leans forward, fighting herself for every inch—tears that fall in tiny, dark spatters on the back of Erik’s sweatshirt when she finally lets her forehead come to rest in the gap between his shoulder blades.

---

ERIK

Dust specks hang still in the warm beam of light filtering in through the tiny basement window, as if the whole world has frozen with them. The silence is choking after the brilliance of sound, and Erik feels frozen in place. His mind is foggy, and the thought of speaking or moving is so distant- as it stretches on, the familiar weight of anxiety begins to settle around him again. What to do, what to say, how to react to something so utterly unique and fantastically beautiful- how will they ever interact the same way again? How can they go back to a casual lesson after something like this? He knows that Christine must have felt it as well; it wouldn’t have worked if Christine hadn’t felt it. They had ceased to be separate individuals- just for a moment, he had lived outside of himself. He can hardly remember how to breathe; how is he supposed to guide a student?

His worrying doesn’t have to last long. His muscles tense instinctively at the unexpected touch of someone at his back- he goes frozen with the effort of suppressing old reflexes. The largest piece of him would whip around to confront a person coming from behind, touching him unexpectedly, but Christine’s presence, especially in that moment, seems to have quieted those impulses.

What is she? He can’t place her, never has been able to- she has landed in his world with the brilliance of a falling star, and all the blinding confusion. Some hidden part of him, something that he has scarcely acknowledged since childhood, makes its presence known around her. It demands attention- it overwhelms him with a need for affection that contradicts everything else he’s ever learned about human touch. 

When the initial fear fades away, when his muscles relax and he lets out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, all that’s left is a warmth at his back, and somehow, it feels like seeing a pinprick of light after years of fumbling in some dark and twisting cave. He straightens slowly, moving away from her just for a moment, just so that he can turn around, and at the sight of her, he is helpless to contain it. All the years of learned caution and fear succumb to the person inside of him who has been, for an entire lifetime, struggling to reach out. 

So he reaches out. Without calculation or hesitation, he reaches out, and his arms find their way around her shoulders, and he steps closer to her until her forehead just barely touches his chest. He’s tall enough that, even with his head bowed, he doesn’t touch the top of her head; his arms are long enough that they nearly encircle her completely. His heart beats its quick and frantic rhythm, and he doesn’t bother attempting to push back the tears that spring to his eyes.

It is only when it is done that he realizes exactly what he’s doing- he trembles at the sudden proximity, the proximity that he has caused,and his muscles start to tense again, though he stays frozen in space. This is wrong! A voice beats and screams in the back of his head-wrong! and he his breath escapes him in almost a hiss- but he wants it! Something in him wants this proximity, demands to know why he can’t have this. There’s a tremor in his shoulders, and the air feels thin- and he recognizes his expectation; with a sucking black hole of dark and yawning certainty, he tenses and waits for her to push him away as he battles with himself- why can’t I be close to a friend?

Have you forgotten what you are? Is she only your friend?

His eyes clench shut, and gasps as he chokes on the sob at the back of his throat. He is fixed, paralyzed in the wake of his hasty decision. He can only wait for what he knows is the same inevitable rejection that has pushed him into himself in the first place. She doesn’t owe him this- and if he were stronger, less selfish, he would back away and send her home to Sweden this moment. 

“Jag är ledsen,” he chokes, his voice utterly transformed from a few moments ago. Despite his words, his arms remain around her. 

---

CHRISTINE

From the first night they met, she has thought of Erik as a kind of angel. To Christine, there’s no other comparison that could be drawn in such heartfelt lines; no deeper possible expression of her wonder and gratitude. How else could she ever describe it? To have this remarkable person come into her life at a time she least expected it, offering help just when she needed it most. If one of the angels from her childhood stories had manifested itself in front of her, wings and all, its appearance could hardly have seemed any more unlikely of a miracle than the simple chance of her and Erik’s paths having crossed.

After years of leaning on daydreams, Christine lets her head rest upon a shoulder that is utterly human—tense, uncertain, but solid and real where her brow presses gently against it—and knows that she would never trade it for one with feathers.

There are so many reasons for caution. Things that she is already aware of; things she may never learn; things that she could guess if she only allowed herself to try. They crowd at the back of Christine’s mind now, pooling like shadows in the depths of a cave—shrinking away from the radiance of her joy.

Her strained neck relaxes into Erik’s back as she senses the tension leave him, smearing tears between her face and his sweatshirt; the ridges of his scarred skin disappear beneath the heavy fabric, but the faintest hint of warmth seeps through, soothing the overwhelmed aching of her head. There’ll be time later to remember how complicated things actually are: time to worry—about him, and herself, and the past, and the future. For now, Christine finds all the reassurance she needs in the rise and fall of his back as he breathes: a reminder that she isn’t alone; that the wonder of this music has been real; that she has someone to *share* it with.

Then, just when things seem steadiest, they tip: Christine flinches at the sudden emptiness of the cold air against her cheek, her eyes opening in surprise as Erik steps away.

There’s just enough time to doubt herself; just enough time for her to gaze at the damp marks her tears have left on the back of his sweatshirt, as if she were a lost traveler trying to retrace her footprints—wondering what wrong turn had been taken; which path might yet lead back to safe ground. But as her friend turns around, facing her for the first time since they sang together, there’s no time to seek an answer—no need to even look for one, as one finds her on its own; enveloping her the way Erik’s wiry arms closing around her shoulders.

There’s a moment, a fraction of a second, as she stares wide-eyed into the front of the sweatshirt, in which Christine feels certain that she is about to speak. A reassurance; a question; a phrase of gratitude—she’s not sure which. When her mouth opens, though, all that comes out is a soft, stifled breath; a gentle sound caught somewhere between a gasp and a sigh. Somehow, it’s fitting: a word not devised or spoken by her mind (which runs in wild circles, still struggling to make sense of the black wall that has appeared hardly an inch from her face, and the gentle weight around her shoulders), but by her throat, her lungs, her heart itself. Like the silent syllables formed by her hands as they twitch upward, her arms lifting towards Erik in a way that could have been instinctive if it weren’t so *deliberate*.

Words don’t seem to belong in this moment any more than they had when they were singing—not even ‘hug’ itself, entirely wrong for the stiff, tremulous arms that encircle her.

Christine’s own arms fall limply back to her sides as her thoughts finally catch up with her, her hands curling, nails biting into her palms.

How many times has she wanted to hug him? How many times has Erik become overwhelmed by far less? Now, she can tell that he’s crying. Can hear it—can *feel* it, wrapped as she is in his dark shadow. This is the closest she’s ever been to him, closer than his boundaries had once seemed capable of bending; yet, even with the gap between them narrower than ever, there’s room for doubt. Christine tilts her head up, the tip of her nose brushing against the soft fabric of the sweatshirt, but gains only a useless glimpse of the underside of her friend’s jaw.

He shudders again, and she feels it as if it had reverberated through her own bones. His arms seem so terribly brittle; though he’s chosen to wrap them around her, can she be sure that it won’t frighten him—won’t *hurt* him—if she tries to do the same? Tears hit the back of Christine’s neck as she leans her forehead lightly against his chest again—taking no more than has already been given to her; risking no more than Erik himself has put at stake.

Waiting for him to push her away, she realises with a sudden, sickened jolt.

She’s been so careful, has tried so hard to be the friend that she thinks he wants—has done her best to avoid making him feel uncomfortable, or pressured, or any of the things that have seemingly caused him to distance himself from everyone else who has tried to be there for him.

But where has it gotten the two of them?

And who has she really been trying to protect?

She feels Erik draw a breath, the syllables rattling in his chest as he offers her a ragged apology. The only apology that she sees necessary is her own. But though her heart aches, Christine finds that she can’t force the words from her throat. Maybe they’ve been said too many times already; maybe they simply have no place here.

She has learned so much from Erik in their short time together. About singing, and music; language, and cats, and people. But maybe she should have paid more attention to the very first lesson of their friendship, that night in the airport when she accepted his offer to stay in Paris: that, even when the odds seem impossibly high, there are some risks worth taking.

In the shaking of Erik’s shoulders, she can feel the weight of the gamble he clearly believes himself to have made—a bet that she doesn’t intend to let him lose; as her arms once more begin to lift, Christine can only hope that her own fears are just as unfounded.

But, after all, sometimes there are angels.

Her hands slowly venture upward, hovering blindly in the air behind Erik’s back—tentative; gathering courage. But then, finally, her fingertips settle on his back. If she’d thought that Erik couldn’t possibly become any more tense, she’d been wrong. But despite the startled frisson that cuts through him, drawing another strangled noise from his throat, he makes no move to separate himself from her. And that’s enough: with a sudden unrestrained desperation, Christine’s arms tighten around corrugated ribs, her face turning to press itself against a chest that seems cushioned more by fabric than flesh.

It’s one thing to know that he is dangerously thin by looking at him; it’s another thing entirely to measure the terrifying extent of it within the span of her own arms: her embrace loosens almost instantly, as if in fear of breaking him, and she shifts her head away from the bruise that she has remembered too late—but she doesn’t pull away; doesn’t let him think that that was ever her intention. As her palms smooth gently across the ridges of his back, she only wants to hold him tighter—to soothe away all of the hurt that he has suffered, in the way that she knows only a hug can; to finally *be* held by this person who has become so important to her.

“Det är okej,” Christine says, finally making a concession to speech as Erik’s heart continues to beat frantically against her ear. “Det är okej, vännen.”

(illustration by rjdaae) ---

ERIK

As a child, Erik can remember slapping his mother’s hand away from his shoulder- rare as her affection was, it was better to not have it at all. He had distanced himself from touch, written it off as something childish that only weak people depended on. He knows somewhere that it has always been a survival instinct, but his reaction has not changed since childhood- contempt for any sentimentality in relationships.

It had been easier to cope with anger than to fear rejection. His mother’s drawn, pitying face- he hated looking at it nearly as much as she hated looking at his. Eventually, she had stopped attempting to touch him completely- a relief on both of their parts. He had given her the excuse she needed, and he had believed himself free of that need for physical affection.

In most ways, he has not grown from that belief in the decades he has spent away from his childhood home. And the sense of completion he feels with his arms around Christine threatens to bring that carefully constructed idea, the idea that he has cultivated for his own self-preservation for almost forty years, tumbling down around him.

It has been difficult, in the past, to regard himself as a member of the same species as others. It has been difficult to regard them as alive at all. There has always been a degree of selfishness attached to his survival. Depending on himself only has meant keeping others at arm’s length wherever possible. Khan’s presence in his life was the first chip in his armor.

He can feel the rhythm of Christine breathing down to his core. She is to him as the moon is to the tide; every small movement she makes pulls him along with her.

He is transfixed by every detail of her, down to the wisps of her hair that brush the backs of his hands. She is so steady, steadier than anything he’s ever held onto in his life.

His breathing shifts automatically in time with hers; for a moment, nothing exists other than the movement of her hand over his spine. Things are still, and quiet, and his mind is empty, won’t allow him to ruminate on what lines may be crossed here. The quiet murmur of her voice sets him at ease.

“Merci,” he says in response, his voice barely a whisper. There is nothing else to say- it’s like some sort of intoxication, being held like this. He doesn’t know what else to express to her, or how to even begin to say any of it, and his mind feels stuffed with cotton, too blurry for any reasonable thought process. Just for this moment, there is only quiet, and against every instinct, he finds himself wishing it could last forever. 

---

(Part 131)

[queenofangrymoths]

All of Carswell Thorne’s Quotes in Scarlet

So I did this thing a long time ago. While I don’t blog about TLC a lot, I am a fan of them. I read them all, cried during all of it, and generally been sad that it’s over.  This was started in February of last year and wasn’t completed until that June. I spent five months on this. While I was in school.

If the title didn’t give this away. This is all of Carswell Thorne’s Quotes in Scarlet. I also have the things for Cress and Winter but this is about 21 pages in google docs, so let’s keep this short because this post, in general, is going to be very, very long - because he never shuts the fuck up,

These were all taken directly from a hard copy of the book - that I own- so yes, this is a cretiable source. Use it for fanfiction, anaylst, tattoos, whatever. it’s yours now.

Book One

Chapter Four Page 32 “I’m sorry,” “It seems that you’ve stumbled into the wrong jail cell. Do you need directions to get back to yours?”  Page 33 “Special circumstances.” “Thank you, but no. I started a riot on the yard.” “We were protesting the soap.” “The soap,” “It’s too drying.” “I have sensitive skin.” “You’re escaping.” Page 34 “I haven’t the faintest idea.” “I’m putting together a portfolio of the women I’ve loved.” “What are you doing?” “What for?” “You have a portscreen in your head?” Page 35 “When they locked you up,” “Did they consider that this prison might have some security weakness?” “Let me guess,” “Breaking and entering?” “How old are you?” Page 36 “What’s your name?” “I’m Captain Carswell Thorne. But usually, people just call me-” “Thorne. Or Captain. Or Captain Thorne.” “I can see you’re in need of an accomplice,” “And lucky for you, I happen to be a criminal mastermind.” “That’s difficult request in this situation.” “What are you going to do when you get out?” “Oh, my naive little convict. Don’t you think that’s what they’ll be expecting you to do?” “I’m just saying we might be able to help each other.” Page 37 “I have a ship.” “A spaceship.” “She could have us halfway to the stars in less than two minutes, and she’s just outside the city limits. Easy to get to. What do you say?” “Point taken,” “You just think it over in that pretty head of yours.” “Now that I’m thinking of it, there used to be an excellent dim sum bar just a block away too. They had mini pork buns that were to die for. Rich and succulent.” “Maybe if we have time we could stop in and pick up a snack for the road. I could use a treat after suffering through the tasteless junk they call food in this place.” “Are you all right?” “Do you need a back rub?” Page 38 “All right.” “Of course. Anything you like.” Chapter Six Page 54 ”Are you the same girl who was just here?” “Oh.” “You seemed a lot prettier before.” “Captain Thorne.” “Portscreen in head?” “Well, if you want to be technical about it,” “But I’m a captain now. I prefer the sound of it. Girls are much more impressed.” “It was my irresistible charm that convinced you, wasn’t it?” Page 55 “I don’t like to think of it as ‘stolen.’  They have no proof that I didn’t plan on giving it back.” “You have no proof either.” “Maybe.” “Of course not. Removed all the tracking equipment ages ago.” “Of course not,” “It’s just...is that think sterilized?” “I mean-I’m sure you’re very hygienic and all, it’s just….” “Never mind. Just try not to hit anything important.” Page 56 “Is it just me, or is this a big moment in our relationship?” “What is it?” Page 58 “Everything all right?” “Blueprint?” Page 58“ “Where are we?” “Isn’t there an exit ramp over there?” “Why aren’t we trying to get there?” Page 61 “What are they doing?”

Chapter Nine Page 84 “Argh, Get it off, get it off!” “It’s in my uniform!” “Please tell me we’ll be exiting through that manhole.” Page 85 “Oh, aces,” “Tell me that’s not what I think it is.” Page 86 “Wait-what are you doing?” “Don’t you have some tool in that fancy hand of yours that can get us across?” Page 87 “This is what I get for complaining about soap,” “Captain.” “It’s near the old Beihai Park,” “Which way is that?” Page 88 “Yunxin sounds familiar. Sort of.” Page 89 “Yeah, yeah, I do.” “I just haven’t been here in a while.” “This way.” “No, no, this way.” “No, I’ve got this. It’s this way.” “A captain always knows where his ship is. It’s like a psychic bond.” “There!” Page 90 “Locked.”“There’d better be. I haven’t been paying rent all this time for my darling to sit in an unprotected warehouse.” “Alak, how are you?” “Am I really on the news? How do I look?” “Alak, I’m here to pick up my ship. We’re in a bit of a hurry.” Page 91 “But she's my ship! I’m a paying customer! You can’t just keep her from me.” Page 92 “No, but I think he’s having a heart attack!” “Aces, he weighs a ton.” “He may be a selfish jerk, but he sure does have good taste in -” Page 93 “Jewelry.” “Hey, look, there was another jailbreak.” “This is great! They’re not going to worry about us if they have a Lunar to track down.” “Wait. You’re the Lunar?” “Hold on there, little traitor. Breaking out of jail is one thing but assisting a psychotic Lunar is a bit out of my league.” Page 94 “I think I look pretty good…” “Right. Let's get out of here.” “Doesn’t matter,” “The roof’s open.” “And there she is.” “Thanks. Did it myself.” Page 95 “There was a time she housed a twelve-man crew,” “Rampion, code word: Captain is king. Open hatch.” “Captain is king. Captain is king! Rampion, wake up. It’s Thorne, Captain Carswell Thorne. What the-” “How? It’s just been sitting here.” Page 96 “Yeah, let me just pull it out of my prison-issued pocket and we’ll be on our way.” “Where are you going?”

Chapter Ten Page 98 “Captain is king,” “Captain is king, Captain is ki-” “Captain is-?” “Rampion, close hatch!” Page 99 “Rampion, close hatch!” “Rampion?” “”Rampion, ready for liftoff!” Page 100 “Why is my shop talking back to me?” “Cinder?” “Without computer assistance? Are you sure?” “Uh.” “Yes?” “Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” “Here we go.” Page 101 “Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t do that!” “Engage the backup wh-oh, never mind, I found them.” “Stop distracting me!” “This isn’t as easy as it looks!” “I usually have automated stabilizer to take care of this!” “Right! Like that!” Page 102 “Come on, darling,” “Good work, cyborg girl,” “If you were hoping for a permanent position on my crew, you’re hired.” “I don’t mean a lowly position, either. First mate is available. Well, I mean, pretty much every position is available. Mechanic...cook...a pilot would be nice so I don’t have to go through that again.” “Cinder? Are you there?” Page 103 “Hello?” “Cyborg girl? Are you in here?” “Lights, on?” “Cyborg girl?” “Hey, you,” “Come on,” Page 104 “Good plan,” “Wake up,” “What, do you have a power button or something?” “Right!” Page 105 “Oh….,” “Oh, boy. You don’t think...oh, that’s disgusting.” “Ouch,” Page 106 “Cinder? Are you alive?” “Cinder?” “I think it did drain your power system.” Page 107 “I didn’t want to.” “We’re having another moment, aren’t we?” “I’ll take it,”

Book Two

Chapter Fifteen Page 151 “Eww, is that an ID chip?” “Why do you have an ID chip?” “It’d better not be yours, after you made me cut mine out.” “Don’t tell me she’s a runaway convict too. Doesn’t she need it?” Page 152 “Oh. I’m sorry.” “How long ago?” “The plague?” “Aren’t the androids that work at the quarantines government property?” “Why would the government program androids to harvest ID chips?” Page 153 “What about those other two?” “Are you some sort of a chip hoarder or something?” Page 154 “I’m going to guess, really different?: “And we have an adapter?” “The dust what?” Page 156 “Now, hold on just one minute here, little miss disembodied voice.” “What do you mean, ‘hideous’?” “I am Captain Carswell Thorne, the owner of this fine ship, and I will not stand to have her insulted in my presence!” Page 157 “That’s right.” “And you, my fine lady, are the most gorgeous ship in these skies, and don’t let anyone ever tell you different.” “The prettiest,” “Painted her myself.”

Chapter Nineteen Page 186 “It’s-not-junk.” Page 187 “I don’t know,” “Supplies. Food. I think there are some guns in one of them. And I know I had a few sculptures from this really collectible second-era artist-I was going to make a fortune off of them, but I got arrested before I had a chance.” “What’s that?” “Oh, right. This ship does have one of those.” “Never needed it.” “We’ll see.” Page 188 “What do you think I am, an amateur? Nothing entered this ship without being thoroughly inspected. Otherwise, the Republic would have reclaimed it all a long time ago rather than let it idle in that warehouse.” “And it’s next to impossible to re-enter Earth’s atmosphere without detection. That’s how they nabbed me last time.” “News to me. I got pretty good at sweet-talking my way into public hangers, but I don’t think that’s going to work with such a high-profile convict on the loose.” Page 189 “Huh?” “Do you think it’s with their-” “Crazy Lunar magic stuff?” “Whatever.” “Optimistically hoping it’s magic, maybe you should start practicing?” Page 190 “Venezuelan dream doll.” “It’s worth about twelve thousand univs.” “Doubtful,” “How much longer will ours hold out?” “Plenty of time to learn a new Lunar trick, right?” “In the meantime, I’ll do a little research, try to determine the best place for us to land. Not the Commonwealth, obviously. I hear Fiji’s nice this time of year.” Page 191 “Do you have any suggestions?” Page 192 “Uh...Cinder?” “Any reason in particular?” “Of course.” “Because it was so vague the first time. Yes, of course I think she’s alive.” “Sure. I know some people think it’s all conspiracy theories, but I’ve heard that Queen Levana was really paranoid for months after the fire, when she should have been ecstatic because she was finally queen, right? It’s like she knew the princess had gotten away.” “What does this have to do with Europe?” Page 193 “Where did you hear this?” “A royal android,” “And how did it get this information?” Page 194 “I’m in.” “Sure. This is the biggest unsolved mystery of the third era. There’s got to be someone out there offering a reward for finding the princess, right?” “In that case, we already have something in common with the princess, don’t we?” “I just hope she’s cute.” “That would be important.” “Hungry? I think there’s a can of beans in there calling my name.”

Book Three

Chapter Twenty Four Page 248 “Hey, Cinder! Are you watching the news?” “What is this, nap time? Turn some lights on.” “Yeah, good one.” “Well. Keep up the good work, mate. In the meantime, you should watching this. They’re talking about us on all channels. We’re famous.” “They already showed the clips. And now you’ve achieved the dream of every red-blooded girl under the age of twenty-five.” Page 249 “Maybe not, but at least dreamy Prince Kai knows your name.” “Precisely.” “They’re starting a press conference, to talk about you. Thought you wouldn’t want to miss” “His heavenly, chocolate-brown eyes, and perfectly tousled hair, and-” “Ow,” “What’s got your wires crossed?” “Hey, that’s my-” Page 251 “A what?” Page 253 “He didn’t mention me. Not once.” Page 254 “But I’m a wanted fugitive, like Cinder,” “They do realize I’m missing, don’t they?” “Now I understand why you’ve been so immune to my charms. I  had no idea I was competing with an emperor. That’s a tough beat, even for me.” “I have great instincts when it comes to amore, and he does not” Page 255 “despise you. Plus, he asked a cyborg to the ball? That takes guts. I generally dislike royalty and government officials on principle, but I have to give him credit for that.” “He didn’t?” “But he knows you’re cyborg now and he still likes you.” “‘I don’t see that her being cyborg is relevant.’” “Hey, come back!” “I have something to show you.” “I promise not to make fun of your boyfriend anymore.” “It’s about Michelle Benoit.” “Come take a look at this.” Page 256 “Did you know that Michelle Benoit has a teenage granddaughter?” “Well, she does. Miss Scarlet Benoit. Supposedly she just turned eighteen, but-brace yourself-she doesn’t have any hospital records. Get it? Holy spades, I’m a genius.” “Do you know a single person who wasn’t born in a hospital?” “That’s precisely what I’m suggesting.” Chapter Thirty One Page 313 “At least we’re in the middle of nowhere,” “If anyone calls the police, it will take them a while to get here.” Page 314 “Bingo,” “She’s here.” “Creepy, isn’t it? I don’t know how people can stand it.” “Yeah, like a morgue is nice.” Page 315 “Did you see someone?”  “I”m not sure that breaking into Michelle Benoit’s outbuildings is the best way to introduce ourselves” “What a sty,” “I’m not sure I can trust a pilot with such little respect for her ship.” Page 316 “Uh, Cinder,” “What are we doing here?” “In this mess? Good luck with that.” “Really, Cinder?” “This is not the time to be worried about a change of clothes.” Page 317 “How did you know that was there?” Page 318 “What-what is this?” Page 319 “What’s this?” “Aren’t those illegal? Overpopulation laws or something?” “What do you suppose it’s doing down here?” Chapter Thirty-Two Page 321 “I don’t get it,” “What do you think they did to her down here?” “Good thinking. Of course she wouldn’t have had her own when she came to Earth.” “What about all that?” Page 323 “What’s a bioelectricity security block?” “If we have the technology to nullify the Lunar’s craziness, why doesn’t everyone have one of these?” “Well, this proves it, doesn’t it? The princess really was here.” Page 324 “What the-” “Who would do this to a child?” Page 325 “We should go talk to Michelle Benoit,” “She hasn’t moved since we got here.” Page 326 “Hello?” “Miss Benoit?” “Hello, Scarlet” Page 327 “What’s that?” “You mean...she’s not here?” “How do we track a person who doesn’t have an ID chip?” “We should talk to the neighbors. They might know something.” Page 328 “Bonjour, mademoiselle,”

Chapter Thirty-Three Page 329 “What are you doing?” “We should take her with us.” Page 330 “Crazy in love. She’s gorgeous.”“I’m good like this.” “Her port. I took it off her while you were busy panicking.” Page 331 “I think we should stay and talk to her. Maybe she’ll know where to find Michelle.” “Hey, I liked my idea of bringing here along, but you already vetoed that idea, so now I’m resorting to Plan B, which is to interrogate her. And I am really looking forward to it. I used to play a game called interrogation with one of my old girlfriends where we-” “Now that was definitely jealousy I just heard.” “Don’t be alarmed,” “We’re not going to hurt you.” “Escaped Lunar cyborg fugitive?” Page 332 “No! No, no, no, of course not.” “We just want to ask you a few questions.” “What’s your name, love?” “Émile. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Page 333 “You do know Michelle Benoit, don’t you?” Page 336 “I mean, you are in her house. This is her house, isn’t it?” “Émile, please stop crying. It’s just a simple question, really.” Page 335 “Have you heard from Scarlet since?:“One more question,”“Our ship is need of some repairs. Are there any good parts stores nearby?”

Book Four

Chapter Thirty-Five Page 343 “She’s going to be fine, you know.” “That Émile girl. You shouldn’t feel bad about knocking her out with your Lunar mind-trick thing. She’ll probably be extra refreshed when she wakes up.” Page 344 “There was a gust of wind.” “You’re extra gloomy today,” “Cheer up. We may not have found Michelle Benoit, but now we know for sure that she housed the princess. This is good. This is progress.” “Yeah, because we’re famous.” “Oh, come on, it could be worse.” Page 345 “At least we have each other.” “And you are going to pull your very handy brainwashing magic on all of them and they won’t even know they’re seeing us. Well, I mean, I guess they’ll still see us, they just won’t recognize us. Or, hey, can you make us invisible? Because that would come in handy.” Page 346 “You might be a crazy Lunar, but you’re not evil. As long as you’re using your glamour to help people, and more importantly, to help me, then there’s nothing to feel guilty about.” “Here we are,” Page 347 “He scared me.” Page 348 “Will this cover it?” “Hey, that watch saved us in there.” Page 349 “Even if it saves your skin?” “What?” “No time to shop for new clothes then.” “Here,” Page 350 “Where are you going?” “No, you need to calm down and start using your brainwave witchery thing.” Page 351 “Come on, then.”

Chapter Thirty-Six Page 357 “Cinder!” “Come on, the cuffs!” Page 358 “What?” “This is not the time to go crazy, Cinder!” “Pull yourself together and help me unlock these things!”

Chapter Thirty-Seven Page 361 “What was that?” “I know Lunars are supposed to have some screws loose-no offense-but those men were psychotic. He practically gnawed off my arm! And this is my favorite jacket!” Page 362 “I forgot about the police! Is my ship all right?” “Well, that’s predictable.” Page 363 “I’ll get it,” “Iko, seal the dock as soon as I’m out, then open the main hatch. Cinder, get that power cell installed!” Page 364 “Cinder!” Page 365 “Yeah, I definitely don’t want to catch whatever he had.” Page 366 “Like I was bit by a feral dog.” “I’m fine,” “Pretty upset about my jacket.” “What happened?” “Cinder?” Page 367 “Or maybe,” “It was an accident, and you’re still learning.” “No. That blood-sucking, howling wolf-man killed her. Cinder, you were scared. You didn’t know what you were doing.” “And you think he would have left the rest of us alone once he had you?” “I get that you feel like it was your fault, but let’s try to put some of the blame where it belongs here.” “Now what are you rambling on about?” “Cinder, you’re being-” Page 368 “Delusional. Michelle Benoit housed Princess Selene if they tracked her down, that’s why. It has nothing to do with you.” “Good guess,”

Chapter Forty-One Page 394 “Come on,” “We have to get out of here.” Page 395 “Don’t worry,” “We're the good guys.” Page 396 “Come on,” “Time to go.” “He’s exactly like the rest!” “He was trying to eat you!” “Fine,” “You take the helm.” “Holy spades,” “What are these guys made of?” Page 397 “You better have those tranquilizers ready.” “Cinder! Ten o’-” “Let’s pick it up,” “How many more of those do you have?” “Gonna have to restock.” Page 398 “Iko! Open the hatch!” “I noticed!” “Go!”

Chapter Forty-Two Page 401 “So…” “How many more darts do you have?” Page 402 “Right,” “In that case.” “Oh no.” “Cinder…”

Chapter Forty Four Page 422 “Whereerwe?” “Managed to get the loon on board, huh? Maybe I can find a cage for him in one of these bins. I’d hate for him to kill us in our sleep after all.” Page 423 “Are you sure?” “Well,” “I feel much better.” “Captain Carswell Thorne.” “Where did that come from?” Page 424 “Aces, I’m glad that didn’t happen to me. How embarrassing.” Page 425 “Thanks to him?” “Was that supposed to make me feel better about having him on board?” Page 426 “What?” “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” “Cinder had a bit of a crush on him,” Page 429 “Uh, I’m confused,” “What are we talking about?” Page 430 “I’m still confused.” Page 431 “What, really?” “That makes two of us,” “Since when?” “You’re Princess Selene,” “The crazy cyborg is Princess Selene.” Page 432 “No,” Page 433 “I know, I know. She seems a little-” “But it’s really part of her charm, once you get to know her.”

And that’s it! Well, for Scarlet at least. Thorne really DOES never shut up.