#I know you probably didn’t mean it to sound as insensitive as it did

[corvusthecryptid]

“You gotta get it while you can before it vanishes!” Aka why anyone with money insecurity just goes to Walmart or Amazon instead of following niche small businesses.

I know you can't feasibly do them anymore, but man I miss the reversible binders. I had always dreamt of getting one, but then when I finally went to do so, they had been discontinued. I know you guys probably won't bring them back, but just know that if you do ever consider it, there definitely IS a market for them!!

This is the way of tiny manufacturing! Whatever we do, we can only do for so long.

Whenever you see something we're doing that you like - and this goes for anyone making tiny amounts of very specific things, shoutout to @nerdykeppie and @evilsupplyco for having amazing things I wanted and missed out on - you gotta get it then. Before it vanishes into the mists.

[fallin2pieces]

let's get in the back of your cop car, officer (charlie swan x coquette!reader)

heavily inspired by playing dangerous by lana del rey <33

cw: MDNI age gap (reader is a freshman in college and charlie is in his 40s), dubcon, p in v, dry humping, blowjob, cunnilingus, choking

authors note: this is my first ever fic! also sorry for the inconsistencies, english isn't my first language :( also lmao this was supposed to be a blurb but i got carried away 😭

- your parents were away for a business trip which left you home alone during break. you always had the nasty habit of smoking, and being home alone it was an opportunity to smoke inside your house.

- as you were cooking dinner, you were smoking in your kitchen, using your stove top to light a cigarette.

- you lazily dragged the cigarette across your lips, inhaling the smoke as you sat on your kitchen countertop.

- as the night progressed, you washed the dishes and got ready for bed

- little did you know, you've accidentally left the stove on.

- 4:38am. “fuck.” you woke up disheveled in your pink silky night gown, coughing as smoke covered your walls, filling your lungs.

- crying as you run down your stairs, you’ve realized what you’ve done.

- shakily, you reach for the family phone by your paisley printed couch and started to dial the police department as guilt engulfs you.

- “forks police department!” an older man on the other side of the phone responds. you knew it was wrong. you knew it was insensitive. maybe you were just a girl but something about the rasp and the timbre in the policeman’s voice made your insides turn.

- later on, you were sitting on your porch, the cold washington rain dampening the steps you sit on, your hair wet, lips and eyes puffy as you cry from guilt.

- a car pulls up in your driveway as a tall dark figure approaches you

- “ma'am you called, are you okay?” the same hoarse voice from the phone asks.

- you just start sobbing. you were guilty. you’ve already damaged your parents’ house.

- as the older man approaches you, he sits down at the porch with you to comfort you.

- as he sits down the smell of cigarettes and cheap perfume engulfs your senses.

- you look up at the police officer, he was even more attractive (and mature) than you imagined.

- this is wrong. you thought this isn’t the right situation to whore around.

- “i-i didn’t mean to do that officer..” you croak out, you started sobbing and he puts his arm around you

- “my name is chief swan. would you wanna sit in the car as i question you?” he asks.

- you nod rapidly as you got up and walked towards the backseat of the car. "this is the right opportunity" your mind lingered.

- “so what caused the fire?” his voice reverberating inside the empty police car as he closes the car door.

- you admit what you’ve done, stuttering and stuttering through tears.

- he just looks at you "oh poor you so alone and fragile." he thought after all you were just a girl and you didn’t mean any of this

- “officer is there anyway that you wouldn’t press charges?” you looked at him with hungry and intent eyes.

- you felt pretty bare right now. in your light pink nighties. the way he was taller, bigger and had more authority than you do… oh you felt so weak, like a bunny waiting for its predator to attack.

- as messed up as it sounds, this made you feel very warm and fuzzy, his presence made you warm and fuzzy. the way his mustache sits on his face and how his messy brown hair stands up, he looks a little sleep deprived and tired, probably from his police job. he’s just a little older than your parents. just perfect, you thought to yourself.

- you’ve never been attracted to a man his age but something about him being an authority figure made you insides turn in excitement, which made you yearn for more.

- “please officer..” you plead as you get on your knees, very intent to seduce the older man.

- he groans at the sight of you. “no no, sweetie we can’t-” he breathes out as he adjusts himself to try to hide the obvious tent in his pants.

- “officer i’ll be good i promise… just don’t press any charges on me…” you said it’s working you thought as your manicured hands fumble with his silver belt buckle

- “oh my sweet sweet girl.” he groans as he cups your sweet face as his thumb plays with your pink plush lips as he inserts his digits in your mouth making you moan around his fingers.

- “i shouldn’t be doing this.” charlie thought to himself

- you adjust yourself from kneeling, the roughness of the police car’s floormat bruising and ever so slightly scraping your delicate knees

- you use your teeth to unzip his pants as your eyes never leaved his, his hands cupping your face as he tucks your hair away.

- as you palm him through his boxers, wetness pools in your floral underwear.

- eager for some friction, you decided to use your fingers to press on your clothed cunt.

- as you fumble on his waistband, his cock still soft you whimper at the sight of his size.

- oh poor man.. you thought he was probably so pent up, no one probably took care of his sexual needs :(

- you start kissing on his cock sweetly as you look up at him..

- oh the way he stares down at you makes you feel inferior, you moan at the thought.

- slowly, you put his cock in your mouth.

- starting slow… going deeper and deeper you grow desperate for pleasure of your own

- he groans at the sight of you… so cockdrunk.. so needy for him.. it’s been years since someone wanted him this bad.

- “your such a good girl for me.” charlie manages to groan out, he holds you by your throat forcing you to look up

- picking up the pace, you moan and gag around his length sending him over the edge.

- he notices you yearn for attention down there :( so he signals you to stop and he instructs you to straddle him.

- with his cock out, you straddle him, kissing him hungrily as your clothed cunt pressed against his bare girth.

- as you took in his tongue, the taste of gas station coffee and cigarettes intertwined with your saliva.

- he eventually starts creeping his calloused hands to your ass, squeezing and kneading the soft flesh as he rides your nightie up making you whimper and soften into his touch.

- as he finds his rough hands up and down your body, he fondles with your breasts, nipples erect from the cold washington breeze, the straps of your nightgown falling to the side as he takes your tits out to look at them.

- oh they were so perky and so soft. he made his way down with his mouth, lapping at your soft skin, eventually finding his tongue wrapped around your sensitive nipple.

- you throw your head back moaning at the pleasure he gave you, rocking back and forth slowly finding some friction as your baby pink painted nails dug crescents into his shoulder.

- he reaches down, to lift the skirt of your nightie, reaching down to your panty clad cunt, taking his thumb and firmly tracing circles on your clit.

- you elicit a moan and collapse into him, his big strong arms supporting you as you reach your high.

- suddenly you felt brave, you pull your panties to the side and you sink down to him.

- “n-no sweetie we can’t-” he whimpers out as you lower into him, as he throws his head back.

- “please officer let me be good.. let me be a good girl..” you cry out in desperation for some relief.

- you just sat there, letting your tight cunt adjust around his big cock your as he wraps his big strong arms around you.

- “baby.. your cunt is so tight.. fuck—” he pants out while looking at your beautiful face.

- you weren’t that experienced per se… only being a freshman in college, having one night stands with guys your age, with no love only lust but with chief swan, it felt intimate and romantic. the way he holds you and kisses you made you melt into his arms. it made you feel like you were cared for.

- slowly but surely you went up and down, savoring his length, you’ve never had someone this.. big and girthy (and mature).

- charlie being on the older side, didn’t have enough stamina, so you were using him like a dildo over bouncing up and down his cock as you looked at how his face was painted with pleasure.

- he looks at you with so much lust and love in his eyes, he haven’t had someone take care of him like this for years.

- he pressed his calloused thumb on your clit rubbing circles making you see stars.

- this was the most pleasure you’ve received from a man.

- “such a good girl for me, taking my cock like this, don’t worry i won’t give you charges princess, no one has to know. ” he looks at you firmly.

- you shake uncontrollably. poor girl can’t take all that cock inside of her :(

- you were making his pants all wet from your juices, all the mixed sensations of him nipping at your soft skin, his thumb pressed to your clit and his cock in you was enough to send you over the edge.

- “fuckfuckfuck-” you whimper out as you come undone on him, your cunt fluttering around his fat cock.

- “you’re doing so good for me.” he says as he carries your waist up as he thrusts inside you and spills his cum inside of you.

- he quickly pulls out, pushing you to lay down on the car seat.

- chief swan got on his knees, pulls you panties to the side and started lapping at your freshly fucked cunt, his mustache tickling your clit as his mouth worked on you.

- you squeezed your legs together, pinning his head steady between your legs as he overstimulated you, as you squirm and pull on his hair.

- he suddenly knelt up, slapping his cock on your clothed cunt, rubbing it up and down your slit.

- your eyes roll back so far back it felt like you could see the back of your skull.

- “officer please-” you moaned out, chest heaving. everything about him was intoxicating. you fucking in a police car only added to the thrill, the scent of sex and his cheap cologne filled your lungs.

- “please what? use your words sweetheart.” he said between groans, as he held your chin with one hand so you could make eye contact with him.

- his thrusts became more erratic and his hips stuttered.

- “please cum on my face officer..” you said embarrassed. you couldn’t believe this filth was coming out your mouth.

- he knelt up, rapidly stroking his length as his seed painted your delicate face.

- meeting chief swan was definitely an experience.

happy father’s day to all my dilfs out there

[alrtyhoney]

VAMPIRE!

(You can't love anyone 'cause that would mean you had a heart.)

The rundown: Miguel had an image to uphold and you are in the way of him keeping up appearances.

Content: Miguel x !Reader / Angst! (wc: 2011)

Miguel had an image to uphold. He is of many things; stoic, cold-blooded, mean– some of the words you’d hear from whispers and passing spider-men. Of course he knew that, knew everything that came from everyone’s mouth. The walls talked, and by walls, it was mostly from those people that tolerated him. 

“You know people would talk more nicely about you if you weren’t so..” Peter B. trailed off, trying to find a description that didn’t seem offending. Not that it ever bothered Miguel, but he wasn’t in the mood to be sent out early back to his universe. 

“Stoic? Restrained?” He listed a reply, uninterested. 

“Closed off.” 

He wasn’t exactly expecting that. It wasn’t like the people knew him well enough to see who he was way past his shell of a tough man. He wasn’t closed off– He wasn’t heartless enough to not let people in and by people, you. Only you. 

It was only you that saw through him; the only one who tried to put the bricks of the wall he had built down one by one. You were gentle– genuine. Every word that he wasn’t. You made his brain short circuit, his spine rigid, and palms sweat. 

The problem was, while Miguel was all those mean words, he was also dense; unknowing, stupid, insensitive. He didn’t know how to love.

You were patient. It was satisfaction enough that Miguel had given you attention before; like you existed and wasn’t like any of the million other spider-men. You knew you weren’t imagining it when he had softened around you.

Days passed and melted into months– months into years and years into moments he couldn’t take for granted. Just how could he push you aside when you have been nothing but perfect to him? Before you knew it, he had asked you to be his and when he did, you saw nothing of what they called Miguel. 

It was surprising– Miguel wasn’t as overbearing with someone. And while everyone was delighted that someone had made him less hostile, a few comments had made his stomach churn in shame. (Who knew a woman was all he needed to release tension– jeez! / I wonder how y/n could put up with someone so nonchalant. Poor her.) They probably didn’t mean harm, but it made Miguel undeniably embarrassed. 

And before he knew it, he was pushing you away– slowly.

(“What ya working on, boss?” You had plopped on one of the tables from his office, legs swinging as you watched him from his platform. 

“Work. Something you should be doing too.” Miguel had answered, still focused on the plenty holograms but lowering the platform nonetheless. Something you’ve learned about him was he’d never be direct– everything he’d imply was for you to figure out. It wasn’t like you didn’t expect him to be an easy man, but it was still a privilege to know the little things about him. 

You jumped off from where you were sitting to join him, reading the reports from the desks that surrounded him, while stealing glances to what he worked on. It took every strength for Miguel to not soften his shoulders– jaw tightening so the smile that was threatening to seep through wouldn’t show. God, he yearned to touch you; to have you near him all the time. 

Something about you made him feel normal– just him. 

“Date night?” His body jolted slightly when you whispered, your warm breath fanning over his ears as you lovingly nuzzled your head against the crook of his neck. You had risen onto the tips of your toes, chest pressed against his as you waited for his response. 

He chuckles, the sound deep and resonating in your chest as you draw close to him. Unable to restrict himself anymore, he turns to you. He puts his weight against the machine behind him, positioning you between his legs. His crinkled eyes and warm smile make your heart swell, and for a moment it's just the two of you: no worries or troubles. No image to uphold.

"How could I possibly turn you down, amor?" he murmurs affectionately, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. He revels in the giggle you let out and it makes him shiver with so much love. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” You trailed off jokingly, drawing circles on his chest. “You seem busy.” 

“Never too busy for you, you know that right?” You hummed softly in reply, leaning your body against his and letting him play with the strands of your hair.

Suddenly, Jess came into view, her gaze focused intently on the papers in her hands. It wasn't until she had realized that someone was in the room with her. "Miguel– oh, y/n, what are you doing here?" she asked in surprise.

Miguel quickly rises to his feet, coughing and shifting nervously. He turns to face away from you, “Leaving. She was just about to leave.” Miguel blurts out, tone dismissive. 

You feel the heat of embarrassment and confusion spread quickly through your veins as you stand there, your heart aching. You had stared for a second or so before he finally looked back at you. “Leave. Now.”

Your eyes widened and that was the cue you needed to go. “Right– right! Was just about to leave.” You quickly scurry to leave, murmuring a soft ‘I’ll see you later.’)

You were respective of Miguel; knew of what troubled him. After that occurrence, he had pampered you– apologized a million times in between opening up. I didn’t mean it, love. He said, she caught me off guard.

You were still patient. You understood that it was never his intention to hurt you, but your mind was blaring alerts in bright red. Do you perhaps embarrass him? This wasn’t the only time it had happened– wasn’t the only time he had left you in a clueless state. 

(“So, you and y/n.” Hobie had begun, tinkering with his machines and carefully extracting different parts from them.

Miguel was aware that the seemingly casual conversation was only a ruse to distract him while he continued to steal from his devices, but he indulged nonetheless. Reprimanding him wouldn’t help anyway. “What about her?” Unbeknownst to him, you were in the same place. You couldn't help but feel your eyebrows rise up to the sound of your name.

“I don’t know, you tell me, you dense bloke.” Hobie let out a huff, then plopped himself down in an office chair and began to spin it around in circles. He knew about it anyway. You would tell him about Miguel and your relationship, told him what made your heart race and what troubled you greatly.

Hobie wanted to hear it from Miguel– wanted to confirm your uncertainty. 

Miguel hesitates as he ponders, eyebrows knitted together. He clicks his tongue in frustration before finally giving an answer “An associate? Coworker? I don’t know what you want from me.”

You felt a sudden weight crash down upon you— your mouth became parched and your chest seemed to constrict. It was like something was pressing hard against you, making it difficult to breathe. An unwelcome realization dawned on you as you pieced it all together. 

“Ouch. You hear that, y/n? If I was you, I would’ve dumped this oaf.” But you had been gone before Miguel even got the chance to set his eyes on you and he knew he had messed up again.)

“I’m not closed off.” Miguel had muttered under his breath– a bit too defensive to his liking as he clicked away on his keyboard aggressively. Peter didn’t miss the shift on his behavior and he decided to push further. 

What was with everyone and questioning about his personal life?

“You know what I mean– Jess, help me out here.” 

“What he means is, it wouldn’t hurt to be less uptight.” Jessica said, “I mean, look at you and y/n. It’s not so hard to be friendly.”

Peter's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief, his furrowed eyebrows clearly expressing his disagreement. “Friendly? Look me dead in the eyes and tell me the heart eyes he’s shooting y/n is friendly.” He butted in with Mayday babbling in the carrier strapped to his chest like she was on the same page as his father. 

Jess rolls her eyes, “I just don’t think Miguel’s the type to be all lovey-dovey.” She replies, both hands lifting in a gesture of surrender. “Besides, y/n is waaay out of his league.”  She can already imagine it - Miguel trying his best to sweep y/n off her feet with corny pickup lines or gestures that didn’t seem like him.

They didn’t know about them; no one did. It wasn’t like they made their relationship public. 

Blood rushed to his ears as they continued to banter about him, frustration brimming to the point of overflow. They continued to talk about him like he wasn’t there in front of him– like what he felt didn’t matter. He finally turns to them, expression clearly unamused. 

And unbeknownst to him, you were just around the corner. You marched towards his office, chest puffed and heart pounding as you advanced. Your mind was made up, finally giving in to the voices waving red flags. It wasn’t fair– wasn’t just that you had given your heart for him to throw around. However, his voice stopped you from making your appearance known; it was firm– angry.

“The fate of the multiverse depends on me,” He started off and it takes all the strength in Peter to not roll his eyes, “I do not have time to be in a relationship– let alone be with someone as soft-hearted as y/n.” 

It was like a strike to the gut and you only want the ground to swallow you whole now. Your legs threatened to buckle, begging you to leave but you couldn’t. It was wrong of you to eavesdrop, but you couldn’t help it; His words were answering every question you had in mind in the worst way possible, breaking you apart and squashing every butterfly that fluttered inside your stomach.

“Just what do you mean about that?” Peter comes to your defense, shoulders stiffened. 

“I do not need someone weighing me down.” 

Peter was having none of it— absolutely did not believe every word that fell from his lips. He knew it was love; the lingering stares, the small touches. He wasn’t a fool to ignore the signs, Miguel just needed a push. “But you tolerate her more than the others! You like being around her!” 

“Peter, just leave it.” Jess attempts to calm the escalating tension, but her words seem to fall on deaf ears as Miguel speaks again.

“Isn’t it our job to endure? What’s another headache to tolerate?” He said before finally looking away, ready to walk out. “Now stop asking because I have enough of having her around. Don’t make me talk about her too.”

What he didn't expect was that you were already standing in his path, cheeks wet with tears and lips pressed together in a deep frown. His heart sank as he took your presence in, letting it seep like a rain of needles. The realization had hit him like a bag of bricks. You had heard their conversation– heard every single thing he said. 

You quickly wiped away your tears, focusing on anything but the face of the one who caused them. You couldn’t bear to look into his eyes, not when he had you clutching your chest as you listened. It threatened to leap out, pounding against your ribs. “Yeah Peter, I think he said enough.”

“Amor,” He had whispered, walking towards you only for you to step backward in return. 

You had left the scene and the shame that swallowed him was nothing compared to the embarrassment he swore was unbearable. Miguel is of many things; stoic, cold-blooded, mean. And they were right– all of it. 

[mochatsin]

WHEN THEY FEEL THEIR SINS ON MC

You’re a human, a vessel of various emotions and feelings. You’re far different from the brother’s who’s more affected by their own respective sins that dominate their emotions and personality. But being the avatars of their own sins, that means they can sense it on other demons and humans. You're no exception.

this is just a silly little thing stuck in my head. so just imagine if gluttony demons can feel other people's hunger or if a wrath demon can feel other's anger. enjoy !!

------------

Lucifer

As much as you try to hide it, Lucifer knows very well when he can feel the pride from you. At first it irritated him, especially when pride is imminent whenever you successfully forge a pact with his brothers. He saw that sense of pride as a threat to his loved ones when he had no clue why you needed to forge pacts. 

But when he gets to know you and your intentions better, he knows that this kind of pride comes from a good place like trying to fix his family. Afterall he can’t blame you for feeling that way when you’re able to bring the seven rulers to their knees. He’s thankful you never abused this power though or he would regret his decision of making a pact with you. 

Whenever you get a good grade in class, cast a powerful spell all on your own, or do a simple task any demon would see as small and easy, he feels how proud and happy you are when you accomplish anything that he could do with a single snap.

He has to remember that you’re a human, and doing what demons can normally do is something you’re allowed to take pride in. 

Feeling pride means he can also tell if it gets damaged. There was a time you were excited to show one of the brothers this spell you worked hard in practicing, but when Mammon said “Eh? That’s such a basic level though.” He didn’t mean to sound insensitive, but words slipped and Lucifer could tell you were hurt deeply. 

Lucifer immediately intervenes and scolds his brothers who undermine your efforts. “They’re a human who had little to no knowledge about magic until coming here to Devildom. Don’t speak to them that way or else.”

He would then turn to you with a gentle look in his eyes “MC, trust me when I say I was very impressed. I know you will become a powerful sorcerer. My brothers could use you as a role model to work harder themselves.” And you do become great with magic… really fast that it’s kind of scary.

When you show him a test you did well in, you were nervous at first since you know that Lucifer probably had perfect marks in it. Though he looks at you with a smile before congratulating you. He even offered to take you out for a treat as a reward.

He adores feeling the pride grow whenever he, the most powerful of the seven rulers, would compliment you and your hard work. He makes an effort to acknowledge you afterwards. Whether it’s pitching a good idea or doing well in a subject you struggled in. 

Absolutely loves knowing that you take pride when you see the brothers are getting along well. Lucifer knows that things have been less chaotic now that he has you by his side as war-level arguments are not as frequent these days. He knows things wouldn’t be like this without you around and he likes the influence you have on his brothers. You deserve to be proud of that.

Mammon

He is the embodiment of Greed and no one can ever compare to him, not when his sin has completely taken over him and his actions as everything he wants to do involves around the concept of getting rich regardless of the method. 

He was willing to bribe, hag, and steal if it meant he got his hands on what he wanted. It’s how his Greed works and he can’t control it.

The surprise he feels whenever there’s a sudden strong aura of sin coming from you, he’s never prepared for it at all. It happened the first time when he and Asmo took you to the mall, and he felt the greed from you.

You didn’t seem like the kind of person who would want material things, but maybe it’s fair when you’re surrounded by all these new and foreign products you can’t find in the human realm. 

You were staring at this well-crafted piece of jewelry, it was unlike anything you’ve seen in the human world and it was enchanting the way it glistens. Its glitters would dance inside like a galaxy of stars encapsulated in such a beautiful glass of your favorite color. You’re drawn to it. You want it. 

Though when Mammon asks you “something caught yer eye over there?” You turn to him with a small smile before shaking your head. You know you can’t afford it yet and you try to move on to forget about it.

It astonishes him that you don’t succumb to this greed despite how strong he can feel it from you. The self-control is admirable but he knows how sometimes it can eat him up inside, he can hardly imagine how you can walk away from it. 

Mammon tries to drag you and Asmo in the store where he feels your greed is strongest. He basically uses this sixth sense of his like a detector, where he keeps an eye on you whenever that sudden desire rises up and he inspects which one it is.

You wondered where he’s been off to whenever classes end until Beel tells you that he spotted him working in Hell’s kitchen once. Maybe he was trying to pay off some debt, since you saw Levi chasing him around the house the other day. 

Much to your surprise, you find Mammon by your door with the jewelry you were admiring the other day at hand as a gift. To Mammon, the big smile on your face was worth the blackhole in his pockets. 

You asked him why he would buy you something so expensive, but most importantly how would he have known you wanted this. You never told anyone after all. Mammon starts turning red, because there’s no way he can admit that he felt your Greed. So he’ll keep that secret for himself. 

He starts taking note whenever you start feeling Greed. They don’t happen as often but when it does, he’d want to see what caught your attention. It’s through these that he learns what were the things you like. It’s an upper hand he has against his brothers to know what's the perfect gift to you, but of course most of the time he can’t afford it anyways. 

Levi

Levi’s envy is the most evident when it involves his interests. If his brothers do better in school? Sports? Style? He wouldn’t really care about such things because it’s just not his thing. But whenever there’s a new wave of Ruri-chan merchandise and he doesn’t get it first, you can expect him to be sulking and throwing a fit on the group chat. 

He’s caught off guard when you were out in the mall one day and while you were trying to buy the latest album of your favorite band, you saw that some other demon already got the last copy.

The aura of envy was gradual and faint, but when that demon who got the copy gave you a nasty look, the spike of emotions was overwhelming for the otaku. 

He knows how envy is something he can feel from other demons, he always felt that when Asmo can’t get his hands on a new beauty product, or even with Beel when any of the brothers have the last extra cookie. But this is the first time in ages that he felt it’s been that strong coming from you. 

You were the last person he expected to feel this way, especially when you turned back to him with a smile. You tell him that you’ll just get a copy when the new batch releases but he definitely knows it's not okay. You waited for this for so long after all. 

Perhaps he could get you what you wanted on Akuzon? With the help of Satan’s connections of course. Levi never wants you to sit with such an uncomfortable feeling, he knows well how it’s hard to hold envy in. You indulge in his interests, he might as well do the same for you.

When that envy is directed towards another person, whether it's a demon or anyone else, he’d try to be comforting since none of his brothers can feel what you do. Unlike demons, humans are better at suppressing these sorts of emotions. 

Some demon is taller and has a better build than you? The other has better grades or better hair? It irritates you often and Levi can feel it. But when that envy starts turning into a form of insecurity then you best bet that he’s the first one to notice and try to do something about it. 

“M-MC um… I know I don't say this a lot but, I'm glad you’re my player two. T-the… best one I could ask for and— AGH DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!!”

Giving you compliments is hard for him, and trying to not stutter with every word proved to be more difficult. But feeling the envy slowly disappear and seeing that smile on your face was worth it. He reminds himself that it’s for the sake of your self-esteem, he won’t allow you to look down on yourself!!

Satan

It took him many years and human lifespans to be able to master this kind of calm. For a demon that only knew rage, it was difficult for him to be able to control it. The amount of work it took for him to be the calm and respectable person that he is today, you can’t even imagine.

Though most of the time, that well built persona of his slips out and that monster gets unleashed. When that does happen, it’s very hard for him to control himself. Up to the point you or the brothers would have to intervene to stop him from ripping someone apart.

He’s calm, but inside he could feel the burning rage all the time. The wrath cannot compare to other demons, but there was one time that it did and it shocked him to feel such intensity radiating from someone else.

You were in the middle of doing a project that involves drawing a summoning circle for class. Satan was your partner and you were in charge of drawing the outlines for now while he studied the symbols needed for the summoning. 

It was going great until one of your classmates bumped onto your table, making your steady hand accidentally draw against the whole circle. You’re gonna have to redraw the outlines again just when you are about to finish. The demon saw the irritated look on your face and scoffed. 

“Not my fault you were in the way.” the demon would reply and leave. Satan was irritated of course, but he felt the sudden surge of rage from you. Like a match tossed onto gasoline, it burns through your soul. Though you were still calm on the outside because the last thing you need is to pick a fight.

He would pat your shoulder “MC, are you feeling… alright?” you would turn to him with such a gentle smile and say that everything is fine, but the rage was still there that your smile and words was kind of unsettling to him. 

Your wrath does not compare to him of course, but you were the last person he’d expect to feel this kind of burning fire since you’re so sweet and patient all the time. He wonders if this is why you were able to empathize with him whenever he struggles controlling his rage. Maybe you two are more alike than he realizes. So he helps you calm down and redo everything. 

A few minutes after what happened, you could see that the demon from earlier accidentally summoned a colony of fire ants instead of what was actually assigned, and he was punished by getting rid of every ant with his bare hands. No magic. 

Satan just smiles, maybe a certain someone must’ve written their symbols all wrong. He doesn’t play dirty tricks like this in class often, but he wouldn’t mind if it would help quench your wrath down. Though he reminds you to be more honest to him if you’re feeling upset about anything. 

He becomes more observant on your wrath levels, taking note of what ticks you off and when he should take you away from the situation or if he should intervene. Insensitive jokes? Bad day? Mammon stealing your things again? Satan is there to make sure you don’t tear something apart (as tempting as that image may be). 

Asmo

What frustrated Asmo at first was that his charms never seemed to work on you. Regardless of his magic or dashing looks, you remain unfazed and he wonders why. Demons or humans, all would be dancing at the palm of his fingers by now!

That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to keep trying though, it just fuels his excitement when he thinks about what he can do just to see that flustered look on your face. 

Sometimes he’s in a slump when one of his advances fails again. None of his brothers offered useful advice and he’s the Avatar of Lust! He should know every play in the book because one of them is bound to work. 

One day while you and the brothers were watching a movie in the living room, he was able to sense a waft of lust in the room and his eyes frantically searched for the source. Oh to his surprise to see that it was coming from you. 

The Lust comes from attraction, and a certain scene from this movie stirred up some feelings. You’re quiet about it and focused on the film, unaware that Asmo now has his eyes on you.

He started becoming more observant to the times he feels that faint aura. When this character in the film said some sweet romantic words, or maybe even something bold and daring, Asmo would pick up on those cues. 

From then on he would mimic the moves that would make you swoon and there is a devious smirk on his face whenever they work. He knows what are the right buttons to push and he’s loving every single reaction he gets from you. 

As fun as this is, he does love how he learns more about the new things you like. He finds out what pet names you like just and which love language you prefer, all by observing how strong your aura gets. Sometimes when he just does something sweet for you, he would feel the butterflies.

Given the kind demons he’s surrounded himself with, he only found out his senses aren’t just limited to sexual desire. It counts for attraction and he feels that more often when he’s around you. It’s a new and strange sensation, but it was welcomed. 

“You look absolutely stunning today sweetheart” he would always tell you every morning to feel those butterflies again. It’s a good mood booster for the both of you. 

If you’re at that point where you’re comfortable being intimate with him, Asmo would definitely use this sense like a meter to know when’s the best time to ask for kisses and… maybe something more. 

Beel 

It’s an understatement to say that Beel is just “hungry all the time.” He’s famished, with a never ending appetite and constant demand for food. 

When he goes too long without it, you can say that for a moment, he becomes Wrath. Though it doesn’t compare to Satan’s rampages, it still does quite a lot of property damage accompanied with a large bill and a 3 hour lecture from Lucifer. 

He never really pays attention when he feels the hunger from other demons whenever he would eat a meal meant for 5 people. Though he wondered why he never felt that from you when you first came down here in Devildom. 

It was only when you both visited purgatory hall did he feel the hunger from you when you saw all the baked goods Luke made for a taste testing session. It was the kind of hunger where he could say that your mouth would've been watering if you let it. 

He practices some restraint and lets you take the first few cupcakes and sugar cookies. As hungry as he was, he wanted you to enjoy it first because he knows that the moment he picks up a tray of sweets, it’s gone in a matter of seconds. 

Despite your hunger, you noticed how he’s staring at you (or the food) so intently and decided to offer him a cupcake. That made him look at you confusingly, why would you offer him the food you seem to be craving for so much?

“MC… do you not like the food in Devildom?” He asks since your Gluttony has never been this strong before “I guess it’s just that I haven't seen you enjoy food like this when we eat our dinners at the house.”

After you explained, it’s only then that he realized that because a lot of the food and ingredients were so foreign (and unsafe), it never triggered your appetite. 

He can’t really blame you when the menu consists of bat wings, bufo toads, and more creatures that would sound unappealing for a human. He never noticed the loss of appetite since he was too busy stuffing his own mouth with food. 

Beel took note whenever your hunger is satiated so he’d know what kind of food you’d want to eat. He also finds out which ones aren’t your fancy. Sweets treats? Savory things? Spicy ones? Beel will know which one you’re a glutton for. Would probably inform Lucifer to make sure some of your meals accommodate your tastes while staying here. 

Whenever he notices that you’re hungry, Beel would take you to certain restaurants (which is safe for humans) that he thinks you might like once he knows what your tastes are. He likes seeing the happy smile on your face when you eat something delicious. 

Beel tries to avoid eating the things that you like since he can really just eat anything else. You deserve to eat your comfort foods after all! But in the event that he does, accident or not, he’ll apologize to you nonstop.

Belphie

You would say that he could sense any sort of laziness radiating from demons, but he’s always asleep in the attic to even notice it. He’s aware of it regardless but it’s never really useful. 

Belphie felt it the most in this house whenever he would pass by Lucifer’s office. Always radiating with fatigue it’s almost infectious, though Belphie doesn’t really care much. It’s what he gets for working with Diavolo. 

However, there was one time he went down the kitchen to get some water and found you by the living room staying up to study. The coffee that Satan made for you wasn’t really working anymore and you’re the only one left in the living room trying to study. 

He felt how sluggish and heavy your aura was as you desperately tried to stay awake. There was a test upcoming and you wanted to learn all that you could, but it’s not working anymore and Belphie knew that when he walked up to you. 

“You know you’re not gonna get anything done at this point… it’s late, come on let's go to bed” normally you would decline his offer to sleep, but since you were so tired you agreed. You both slept peacefully in your room and he could tell that you were more energized than last night. 

Belphie started taking note of the times you’re feeling a little sleepy or lazy. Most of which happens in one of the classes you’re not really interested in. If not that, then it’s the amount of work you have to do as a human exchange representative or as someone babysitting seven demons. You need a break. 

He would be the one to remind you to rest if the sluggish aura around you was getting stronger. Belphie would always be the first to know that you’re tired before you could even realize it yourself, and in the end he’s always right. 

Whenever you have chores to do but are too tired, Belphie would ask (or nag) one of the brothers to do it for you. They have a hard time saying no if Belphie says it's for your sake. Most of the time it’s true, though he would sometimes use it as an excuse to get out of his own chores too. 

He noticed that you don’t really decline when you’re tired every time he asks you to nap with him. It’s a window of opportunity and he’s going to exploit it if that means you both get to cuddle up together in the attic or in your room. It’s a win for the both of you.  

[hbyrde36]

Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy)

ao3 link

Chapter 1

*Eddie  - 1986*

“That was amazing, Eddie!” Will exclaimed, with a wide smile.

They’d been playing for over 10 hours and Eddie was exhausted. He was only a few years older than the other boys, so he knew it was a poor excuse, but he was getting too old for these marathon sessions. Where he felt dead on his feet, the other boys looked like they could go for another 10 hours, no sweat.

It was well past curfew for the younger boys but since it was Saturday, and spring break, it hadn’t taken much convincing to get all the kids' parents to agree to the late session, as long as Eddie got them all home safe. 

The small group said goodnight to Mike and Mrs. Wheeler before walking Lucas next door to his house. Then, Eddie, Dustin, and Will piled into the van. Technically Dustin’s house was closer but Eddie drove Will home first. He liked to drop his cousin off last, so he could stop in and say hello to his aunt if she was home. 

Eddie was a little distracted during the drive. He’d been trying to keep busy for the last few days, anything to help him forget about the fact that it’s the anniversary of Steve Harrington’s disappearance, but today that had been impossible. How could he not think about the guy who inspired one of the main characters in a game they had just spent all day playing?

When it's finally just him and Dustin in the car, he allows some of his thoughts to spill over. 

“It’s one thing that we use ourselves in this crazy story but do you ever think it’s fucked up that we kept Steve as an NPC after his disappearance?”

Dustin shrugged. “I don’t know, I mean, I didn’t know the guy. Mike always said he was an asshole, so, who cares?”

Eddie almost slammed on the breaks, it’s only for the sake of his beloved van that he didn’t. He can’t believe the kid would say something so insensitive.

“Dude he’s like your best friend, how can you say that!?”

“In the game, Eddie. He’s my character’s best friend, in the game . You always take it too seriously.”

An uncomfortable silence fell over them when Eddie didn’t respond, too upset and lost in his thoughts to make conversation. He pulled his van into the driveway behind his Aunt Claudia’s car and shut the ignition off. 

“Mike was wrong, y’know. Steve wasn’t an asshole, not really.” Eddie said, as he followed his cousin up the path to the front porch.

Dustin stopped abruptly, turning on his heel to look at Eddie. “Wait. Did you know him? Were you friends?”

Eddie sighed. His feelings about Steve Harrington had always been…complicated.

“I knew him my whole life. We were in the same grade till I got held back, and it’s a small town. We were never friends, exactly, but I saw him almost every day in school. We talked sometimes in the halls, on the bus. Maybe he was a bit of a dick to people occasionally, but who isn’t? That’s what kids do. He was always nice to me.”

Dustin stared at Eddie like he’d never seen him before.

“I'm sorry, man.” He stuttered. “I didn't know. Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

It was Eddie’s turn to shrug. “I don’t really know. I guess I was trying to keep the real Steve and the game Steve separate in my head. I always thought he’d turn back up eventually. That maybe he’d just run away from home, and someday he would come back when he ran out of money or something.

“It could still be that. It's not like they ever found a body.” Dustin offered, not really sounding like he believed it, but wanting to be supportive.

“It’s been 2 years, almost to the day. The Harrington’s have more than enough money to hire fancy private detectives and shit. If he was alive, they’d have found him by now.”

*Steve - 1983*

Steve Harrington had just started dating Nancy Wheeler when Will Byers went missing. Later, he would be embarrassed to admit it, but at the time he was a little pissed off that she wanted to ditch their date to join in the search for the boy. The kid was probably just out playing and lost track of time or something. Everyone knew Joyce wasn’t exactly the most stable person in the world. He knew Hopper only humored her with this search to get her off his back. 

When he told Nancy as much, she called him an asshole and stormed out. After sulking about it for an hour after she left, he realized she was right. He didn’t want to be that guy. He didn’t want to turn out like his dad. So, he threw some sneakers on and set out to join the search party. 

He walked through the woods looking for Hopper, or anyone else who could assign him an area to search. It started raining before he could find anyone, and he was just getting ready to head back to his car, when he heard rustling in the bushes off to his left. He turned in the direction of the sound, squinting in the dark to try and see if someone was there. He thought he saw movement and then a twig snapped. It sounded loud in the quiet of the trees.

It was so dark out here, he wished he had a flashlight or something. 

“Will?” Steve asked, taking a tentative step forward.

The only response was a quiet gasp from the dark. There was definitely someone there.

In a stroke of pure luck, the moon chose that moment to come out from behind the clouds. Her soft light illuminated things just enough for Steve to make out the shape of a small child with a shaved head, wearing a gigantic yellow t-shirt. This was definitely not Will Byers, but the kid sure did look like she was in trouble. 

“Hey there, I'm Steve. Do you need some help?”

The girl stared up at him with wide eyes. She didn’t answer, but she hadn’t run away from him yet either.

He tried again.

“Do you want to get out of the rain? My car isn’t far from here.” He didn’t step any closer but held his hand out to her to take, or not, whatever she chose.

The girl studied him for a long time. She looked into his eyes like she was trying to read his soul. He didn’t know what she saw there, but it must have been enough to convince her that he was safe. She nodded, pushing her tiny hand into his, and the two of them walked together back to the warmth and safety of Steve’s car. 

-

It wasn’t ideal, bringing the girl back to his house, but at least his parents were out of town. Once he’d gotten her into the car he had tried to take her to the hospital, or at least the police station. She’d shaken her head slowly, ominously, and uttered the first words he’d heard her speak. 

“Bad men.”

Steve didn’t know what to do, he was in way over his head. He needed help. He needed people much smarter than him to tell him what to do. The idea occurred to him to take her to Nancy’s. She was smart, and a girl. Surely she'd be better suited for this, she’d know the best course of action to take. But, the girl refused that too. She seemed to only trust Steve.

Tired, and out of options, he went home. 

He gathered some dry clothes for her, old sweatpants and a Hawkins High swim team t-shirt from his freshman year, and sent her into one of the guestrooms to change. The clothes would be huge on her but it’s the best he could do for now. 

It was late and he kind of expected her to just go to bed once she changed. They could always figure things out in the morning. But, a few minutes later, there she was, standing in his doorway, looking around the room curiously.

“It’s okay, you can come in.” He said, as he shut the closet door. “In fact, why don’t you come sit down. I think we should talk about some things.”

She looked hesitant, but joined him, cross-legged on the floor. She still hadn’t said more than those two words to him but clearly she could speak, and she understood him fine, so he had to try. They’d start small.

“What’s your name?” He asked, voice gentle as he could make it.

She shook her head. 

Somehow he knew it wasn’t a refusal, but more like a confusion on her part. 

He pointed to himself. “Steve. People call me Steve. What do people call you?”

She pressed her lips into a thin line and held her shaking wrist out to him.

He was confused at first, until he noticed the small writing there.

011

“Eleven?” He asked.

She nodded vigorously, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

That was, well, it was so not good. Shaved head and a number tattooed on her arm. Steve wasn’t a genius but even he knew that something was seriously messed up here. Who would do this to a little girl? Where were her parents?

“Is that what your parents call you?”

“Parents?” She sounded the word out slowly like she was saying it for the first time.

“Yea, like your mom or dad? Mama or Papa?”

“Papa" She agreed, nodding. "Bad man.”

O..k. Well that certainly answered some things.

“Is that why you were in the woods tonight? Were you running from Papa and the bad men?”

She nodded. 

That was enough for tonight, he decided. They were both tired and he really needed some time to think, to make a plan.

“I think we should get some sleep. We can talk some more in the morning. Okay?”

She blinked at him and nodded again. She definitely preferred non-verbal communication. It didn’t bother Steve, he could roll with it. 

“You can sleep in that other room, the bed in there is really comfy.” He said, rising up off the floor as she did the same.

“Where do you sleep?” She asked.

It was a little jarring, hearing her string together a full sentence like that. It was stilted, the way she spoke. Obviously talking wasn’t something she did very much.

“Here.” He answered, motioning to his bed. “This is my room. So i’ll be right across the hall if you need anything.”

She looked over her shoulder at the doorway and then back at Steve. She made no motion to leave.

“Would you rather stay here?” He guessed and there was that little smile again.

“Safer in here, with you.”

Steve’s heart broke. He kind of hadn’t thought about it until that moment, the night had been so full of weird things and it had all happened so fast, he hadn’t realized how utterly terrified Eleven was. He wanted to fold her up into his arms and squeeze her tight. Promise her that he’d keep her safe from the bad men of the world.

But he couldn't do that. He couldn't promise anything when he had no idea what was going on. He wasn’t sure if she would welcome his embrace either, so he held himself back. Instead he got into bed, scooching all the way over to the wall, and then patted the big space he’d left for her. 

She crawled onto the bed and almost immediately curled into a ball. He watched her as she settled on the pillow. She looked so small. He vowed to himself that he would do whatever he could to protect her. He’d hide her in this house forever if that’s what it took. He didn’t yet know what she’d been through, but he knew it was bad, and something no little kid should have to go through.

The rain had turned into a storm while they talked, and it raged now on the other side of his window. A loud crack of thunder startled them both. Eleven was shaking again. Steve laid his hand out, palm up, on the bed between them. An offering of comfort he thought she might accept, since she had taken his hand in the woods.

She hesitated for only a moment before placing her hand on top of his.

Chapter 2

[not-5-rats]

imagine Sugar biting the bullet and asking Seth if he would be cool with meeting their mom. (because with how often they talk about him, she’s probably been asking when she can finally meet him) The only reason they were hesitant is because they didn’t want to come off as insensitive.

Sugar gets super nervous whenever doing anything that could make anybody upset but there's an extra layer added to that with Seth cause they love him and don't want to hurt his feelings. The problem is Sugar loves talking about things they like and Seth is their favourite thing to talk about, so their Mum very quickly learned about him and instantly wanted to meet him. Daily messages/calls/voicemails anything to ask Sugar when she could meet him but there were a couple reasons Sugar was afraid to ask:

Firstly, they felt it would be insensitive due to Seths relationship with his Mum and would never want to make him upset (even though in reality Seth would see it as an honour to meet their Mother. The idea that they trust him/care about him enough to let him meet any of their family makes his heart melt)

Secondly, imagine if Sugars Mum wasn't the best at recognising social boundaries and could be quite intrusive. They would be afraid of her saying something to Seth that made him upset or brought up things he didn't want to address especially with their Mum around. And whilst they would hate to hurt Seths feelings the idea of trying to ask their Mum to watch what she was saying would be so awkward and they didn't want to hurt her feelings either!

So when they finally decide to ask the question they were a mess, a MESS. They were sat in Sugars room, their comfort film was on TV as they sat on the edge of their bed, Seth on the floor between their legs as they gently brushed his hair with their hands. Braiding it and undoing the braids only to do them up again. Nobody had spoken in a while, this is just what they did whenever Sugar was anxious/upset but didn't want to talk about it so Seth hadn't tried to prod into what was going on. Finally Sugar spoke

"So sweetheart, there's something I've been meaning to ask you...and I just want you to know there's no pressure from anyone, the decision is entirely up to you and I respect whatever that may be!"

Seth tilted his head up to look at them noticing how they were staring at the wall directly in front of them instead of down at him

"Hm? 's everything okay Sugar?"

He gently pulled their face down to meet his yet still they refused to look at him as their hands kept fidgeting with his hair

"Well, you know I love you alot and I talk about you quite a bit to- well everyone I know. I've been told I talk too much but I don't think so. One person in particular has taken quite the interest in you and has been bugging me...constantly about how much sh- they want to meet you"

They fell silent once more quickly glancing down at his face to make sure he wasn't upset before looking back at the wall, taking a deep breath and continuing

"Said person is infact, my mother, she really wants to meet you and I know you might not feel comfortable with that and I completely understand if you don't wan-"

They were cut off by a soft kiss being planted on their lips as Seth pulled them forward, he smiled as they parted, his voice quiet and comforting

"Darlin' I would love to come meet your Ma, if anything I'm honoured you'd let me meet her"

Tears were forming in Sugars eyes, this is how worked up they had been, they leant forward and kissed him once more, holding their hands just under his chin

"You mean it? You ain't upset with me, this isn't too much, cause hun I don't wanna make you do anything you don't want to d-"

"Sugar, I know this is big deal but you really need to calm down. Why don't we watch this for a bit longer, maybe even cuddle and when you're feeling a bit better we can talk details for when I meet your Ma, that sound good?"

They stared at him a moment a smile threatening to split their face in two before slowly nodding and slipping onto the floor, cuddling up beside him

"...thank you Seth, I love you so much"

"Of course darlin, I love you more"

"What? I love you more!"

"Nah I love you the most"

"I love you the mostest"

(This went on for ages)

[floralifetime]

Toruk Makto’s Sister

Warning: very bad writing, maybe some gramatical error (English is not my first language, so please be gentle), angst, death of a major charapter, grief, bad words.

Next Chapter

⚠️⚠️The sentence is not mine, credits go to the author⚠️⚠️

Chapter n.1 Goodbye Tommy, I love you.

"The pain suffered at your death is the price for having loved you so much in life"

I still can't believe it happened, Tommy my beloved older brother, is dead. He was treacherously killed by a thief who tried to steal his wallet, given my career in the military I shouldn't be so hurt by someone leaving, I mean, death happens every day from various causes, not all natural, but it's also true that you never really worry about something like this until it affects your loved ones. We were three, now we are only two. Too bad Jakey is on Earth, while I'm on Pandora, not exactly around the corner and so I find myself alone. "Y/N are you here? Can we come in?"

No, not really alone, there's my best friend Trudy and my pseudo-mentor, Grace. Yet since Tommy was killed I find it hard to even think about them, I love them both very much but I feel alienated, as if I see everything and everyone as a mere spectator, as if I don't really live. I hear the sound of the door opening and footsteps approaching my bunk, probably knowing me they didn't wait for permission. "Aww Y/N, it's terrible to lose a brother like this. I know." Trudy's voice acts as a switch and in an instant the blockage of my throat melts allowing me to cry all the tears I was trying to hold back to show myself strong in front of the others, to avoid their looks of compassion, their pity. I don't like to be pitied, both here in Pandora base and on Earth, it's just not for me, I've always wanted to be like my two brothers, my role models, my heroes, I think almost all younger sisters have this idea of their brothers, and I had mine. Tommy and Jake are my life and so are Trudy and Grace, I would give my life for them and here I am, mourning the death of someone I love so much and couldn't save. I who have always taken care of their wounds, be they physical or emotional, who have kept their confidences, who have brightened their days and lightened the weights on their shoulders, if they had any. I did everything I could to protect my brother after his injury and I only came here when I was sure Jakey would be okay, because that's how I've always wanted to do, who I've always wanted to be, who cares about those who love and who sacrifice themselves for them, desiring their happiness. And now what do I have left? Tommy's gone, treacherously killed by a bastard that if I ever find him, his life will be over. I should have helped him, I should have been there with him because I could defend myself with a respectable military career behind me. I should have been there, he died alone and even if I couldn't save him, at least I would have comforted him in his last moments and I didn't do that either. My screams, screams and moans fill the room and I only realize it when I notice Grace has buried her head between her shoulders, trying not to hear my cries of pain, I wish I could help but it's so much difficult. "I know it's not easy Y/N, and you're sick, I understand, but we need you." Grace's voice is calm and bordering on insensitive, the opposite of the storm of anger and pain that surges through me when I usually appreciate Grace's calmness, this time it drives me into a rage. This scares me, it's not like me to think so badly of Grace, this isn't me… Pain transforms you when it overwhelms you I suppose. I frown and start to argue, but Trudy is faster than me. "Don't you think losing a brother like this is hard enough in itself, without constantly reminding her of what is expected of her!?" Trudy is annoyed by Grace's rush to resume her studies and research, I know deep down that Grace doesn't want to be mean, but now is not the time. I need some time to process the pain, the mourning, but unfortunately I don't have this advantage, I don't have this time. "I'm sorry Grace, I don't think I'm in a position to resume my studies, my research or whatever you have in mind, I'm sorry." Trudy nods, running a hand down my back, while Grace just looks at me. "I didn't think someone with your career could have such a meltdown" Trudy hits the scientist, I don't even have the strength to do it anymore, I'm usually stronger than that, yet Tom's death drained me. "This was bad Grace you know Y/N is proud of her career and for good reason." I served in the military with Jakey as a sniper, then he was recognized as a perfect fit for the Avatar program due to my adaptable nature and my abilities outside strictly the sniper field due to my endless curiosity about everything, I love to read and inform me . I'm in Pandora training because, as a "prize of honor" during a particularly dangerous operation, I was given the opportunity to conduct training directly at Pandora's base. At first I was reluctant, I didn't want to separate from my brothers, I accepted only because Tommy threatened me that if I didn't do it he would be ashamed of me for the rest of his life. Ironic, huh? He didn't have long to live, apparently. I've been here ever since and only had a break when I learned of Jakey's injury, then I returned to Earth and then returned to the Avatar program when I had confirmation that my brother was handling himself, not a second ago. I ignored the health problems I might experience during these various planet-to-planet journeys, I didn't care what might happen to me, as long as Jakey knew he was loved and had someone by his side to help him, I would pay any price to help my brother and I would do it again, I have not regretted it and I never will. Only Grace and Trudy know that I have actually had various health problems that could have slowed my training were it not for my intelligence and willpower, Grace's words. "I know, and I also know you're right to be proud of yourself, I mean I didn't expect subjects accustomed to death to feel its effects so violently." I sighed, not looking into her eyes "What you're saying doesn't make sense, Grace. This is different and you know it too!" I answer. "What would be different, Y/N?" she replies her. "That he was and is my brother, maybe? It doesn't matter that I'm in the military, it doesn't mean a thing, when you lose someone dear, it really affects you despite the career you've decided to pursue. And you also know the reasons that prompted me towards a military career." Initially my career was to focus on the medical side of the military, which leaned more towards my personality, then after an attack that killed everyone but me, miraculously saved by the beams that protected me as the building I was in collapsed, I decided to totally change course and engage in combat, in some form. Grace raises an eyebrow and nods. "I guess what you're saying makes sense, Y/N. I'm sorry, maybe I should have paid more attention." "I definitely agree with you, Grace!" Trudy throws daggers at her with a look, even though I love them, I can't stand their fights right now. "Girls, I'm sorry but if you have to fight, please get out, I... I really don't have the strength, forgive me." Trudy and Grace look at me, my favorite thing about them is that they don't show pity, no compassion, they certainly feel it because they don't have stones for hearts, but they are discreet enough not to throw it in my face, which calms me down. They both just nod, while Trudy smiles sweetly, saying, "We're here for you, no matter what we say to each other, we're always here for you." Grace continues to nod at her words. "What did I do wrong? Why did Tommy die?! What did I do wrong, what did he do wrong to deserve this!? He wasn't a bad person, why kill him!?" I cry out of control, I feel like I will soon lose the calm in my voice. "He IS a bloody poor man, that's why he took him away from you." Trudy runs her hands down my back, trying to comfort me, to coax me into a calm that I don't have. "F-For what? For scraps of paper in the wallet?! Is it possible that printed paper is worth more than one life?!" I answer in kind, despite the choked voice that I find myself, the dry throat that itches as if I had swallowed a cactus whole. "Those pieces of paper have been making the world go round since they were invented Y/N, I know you're smarter than that, it's just the pain that speaks for you." Trudy rolls her eyes at Grace's apparent insensitivity, but she's like that, she's a scientist, she's normal to be skeptical and rational in every situation, "I don't think she would want to see you suffer so much, you know your brother loved your smile." Trudy speaks again as she takes my face and wipes my tears, delicate for her. "Trudy… Why did he die? I should have been there, what did I do wrong?" the doubt of having done something wrong, of being absent when I should have been present eats me up. "You didn't do anything wrong, you couldn't know it, he died because some motherfucker thought the card was worth more than your brother's life, but he never really quit T/N, he'll always stay." My favorite driver has been trying to sound reassuring, but he doesn't seem to be reassuring enough to calm me down. The strangled, moaning sound I make is unsettling, I don't even recognize it as my own voice, but that's the least of my problems as I finally wrap my arms around Trudy's neck, continuing to cry into her arms until I fall over I didn't even realize I was completely unconscious.

Tommy was cremated but I didn't even get to see him, just as I can't see Jakey until he comes here because another trip would compromise my health too much, already affected by the various trips previously made both by the fact that you have to be totally fit to deal with shifts like that, and I'm not. Adding insult to injury, I'm sure it will take longer to heal from the pain for this, if I could have seen him one last time I'm sure I could have healed sooner. I think it's cruel of life not to be able to see my brother one last time before he is finally cremated, Tommy has been destroyed and here I am, helpless, watching and not being able to do anything for him or for Jakey, it's like pour salt on an open wound.

It's torture and every time I think about it, I burst into uncontrolled crying and I have to stop whatever I'm doing, because the tears come down so copious that I'm blind, I cry so much that it seems impossible to stop, I only succeed when I have no more tears . It's suffocating, during the night I dream of our memories, during the day everything I do reminds me of him, everything I see in photos or read in books to complete my training makes me think of him and how much he loved to read and study with me, that intelligent glint in his eye every time he told me something he had read and learned, he had this amazing ability to draw you in and make you love whatever topic he was on, no matter what. I envied him for that, and I can't help but smile when I think back to our lessons together, when he corrected me with a demanding but gentle tone and a tug of hair. In everything I do I see him again and now more than ever I realize I look so much like him, I've never paid much attention to this aspect, I mean, I always had him in front of me I didn't need to think about these similarities, but now that I don't there is more these similarities haunt me as if they were ghosts. It's suffocating but the pain must be experienced completely and deeply to be truly overcome.

Despite everything I've resumed working next to Grace and spending a lot of my free time next to Trudy and her flying jewels, they distract me and help me, I thank them for their more or less visible but always present support. The pain of Tommy's disappearance is still there but I live with it, I have to live with it. Tommy won't come back, a thief took him away from me but he won't be able to steal my photos and memories, I keep them stored in a special casket, my heart, where they will remain as long as I live, safe.

Someone mentioned my brother Jakey coming here to Pandora to replace Tommy, I already knew about it and can't wait to see him, I miss him dearly, but I also wish I could see him again in better circumstances than these, Tommy's death is not the happiest reason to see Jakey again but maybe it's better than nothing because the letters we managed to exchange, with so much effort considering where we both are, weren't enough and still aren't enough.

So this was the first chapter, this is my first time writing to publish something, so please be kind.

©️ Floralifetime April 10-2023, please don't do not republish, repost, steal, modify, translate or claim my work as your own. All rights reserved.

@avatarbyamara​ I promised you, sorry if it's a bit slow but otherwise the first chapter would have been TOO long.

[rohansregret]

prior to that nsfw tyr/odin ramble would u care to write an nsfw drabble dedicated to that ??? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ size diff and all,, morally ambious;;; probably in odin's pov.. pretty please 🙏🙏🙏

delusions

pairing: odin!tyr x gn!reader

description: odin’s been noticing how touchy you’ve been towards him ever since he was ‘rescued’ from svartalfheim, makes sense as you were tyr’s partner. he knows he shouldn’t indulge and politely turn down your advances, but you just look so good, he can’t resist.

warnings/tags: nsfw, odin!tyr, odin’s a bastard, could be seen as dub-con/non-con since you believe odin is really tyr, manipulation, bruises, size difference, biting, based off this post

note: thank you for your request! this is my first god of war work on this blog and i’m pretty satisfied with it. i didn’t write full on sex, but if you want to see that maybe i could write an extended version? lmk! when i posted that odin/tyr ramble i didn’t expect anyone to agree with me, so imagine my surprise when i saw fellow odin fuckers show up 😭 i did struggle a bit with keeping the pov strictly odin, so i did what i could. anyway, thank you again and i hope you enjoy this! i had fun writing it :)

everyone was finishing the last of their dinner when your voice spoke out above the common bickering between brok and sindri. “tyr, could i speak with you in private? that is if you are not required elsewhere.” odin’s temporary golden eyes rose from his empty bowl to lock with your gaze, watching as you expectantly glanced over at kratos.

“no. do as you wish.” said man spoke, his booming voice earning a small smile of thanks before you rose from your wooden chair. “of course, beloved. what do you need?” his much larger hand reached out to slip into yours and he let you gently drag him towards your room that sindri so generously allowed you to use. “i’d like to do this in my room, if that’s alright?” you didn’t wait for a response as you both entered the room. ‘rude’, odin thought. there was a moment of awkward silence before you both took a seat beside each other on the bed far too small to fit someone of tyr’s size.

it didn’t take long for you to initiate the conversation, turning to the side and placing your other hand on the back of odin’s. “i don’t want to sound.. insensitive, when i say this.” your voice stayed smooth, but odin could tell something was bothering you enough for you to not want to say it. which by the way, annoyed him to absolutely no end. he can add this to his never ending list of cons from his experience as ‘tyr’. with a sigh, odin gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “whatever you have to say, i know you mean no harm.” he smiled, “take your time.”

his own words made him want to roll his eyes. time was modest, and he didn’t want to waste his on this moment. though he knew his dear son would waste away to nothing if it was for you. so that’s what he’ll do.. for the mean time, that is.

you brought odin’s hand up to your mouth to press a kiss onto it, holding it to rest lightly on your lips as you thought of your next words. “i know it has been a long time since we’ve seen each other, and there are more important things we need to be worrying about at the moment..” you began to trail off, rambling on and finding words to circle your point. odin sighed and removed his oversized hand from yours, instead placing both of them on either side of your head, thumbs caressing your cheeks. “forgive me for interrupting, but i worry for you. tell me what’s on your mind, let me help.” odin couldn’t help but let himself admire the look on your face. your eyes, slightly wider than usual and your cheeks warm against his foreign palms. he wouldn’t deny your beauty, never has. as much as he hates to admit, one of the very rare things he’s remotely jealous of, was you and how he could never have you.

“okay. okay, i’m sorry.” you closed your eyes and swallowed, holding onto odin’s wrists. “i would like for us to indulge in a little normalcy like once before, spend the night in each others embrace.” eyes locked on odin’s, straying occasionally to observe the face of the lofty god.

‘oh?... oh.’

“oh.. well,” odin began, clearing his throat and surprisingly finding himself stumped. his first instinct was to push you away from him and excuse himself from the room. the look on your face is ultimately what got him. the pure hope mixed with slight embarrassment had his blood boiling in all the right- no, wrong places. this is the last thing odin should be worried about. yet here he is, mind rapidly filling with images of you beneath him, his hands squeezing and groping your body and skin rubbing against skin.

he could feel tyr’s skin heating up, sweat collecting on his forehead and his heart pulsing just a bit faster than usual. “yes, yes i.. i would like that.” his words left his mouth faster than his brain could comprehend, but yet he didn’t feel any regret. he knew this was wrong, he also knew that’s why he was even more aroused by it.

that was all it took for odin to take your chin in his hand and shift forward, “are you sure?” your nod came quick and he suppressed a smug grin at your eagerness.

it wasn’t long for the both of you to get undressed, your bare back now pressed against the soft fur of the bed, odin’s mouth and hands traveling across your neck and torso. getting lost in the moment, he began to squeeze the meat of your thighs and couldn’t help but nip at them, surely creating a few bruises. a squeal of surprise came from your throat and you gazed down at him, eyes sparkling and pupils blown. “tyr- you’ve never done that before,” odin tensed as if he got too carried away, but the sight of your overly reactive and excited body eased his worries. “please, do it again.” your request immediately clouded his brain, just as the sensation of a new bite clouded yours.

maybe he could get used to this after all.

Copyright © [2023] by [rohansregret]

[m00ngbin]

@sorribu This is just gonna be for two of my Mob Psycho ocs right here because I didn’t realize how much I’d written for them LMAOO. This was NOT proofread so it probably sounds funny

I don't even have names picked out for either of them yet but I could tell you anything and everything else lmao. They are best friends (kind of) (they're doomed)

Ok so it's two girls, they both go to the highschool Tome ends up going to in the epilogue and the reigen manga. They don't like KNOW know Tome, they're just kinda in the background for the most part, but I think that they would at least talk at some point because of shared interests (sort of)

Ok so the first girl: she is like fully convinced that she's a psychic. Like she thinks that she's clairvoyant, (she’s just a really luck guesser), and telekinetic. She's not, but she’s completely, 100% convinced that she is. She has a loud personality and she likes the attention being known as an esper gives her, and to kind of reflect that in her design I'm going to give her a fashion style that stands out. She would be a gyaru or something else that's really flashy. She's not very in tune with her friend's or other people's emotions, she's totally unaware of/doesn't pay attention to how other people feel, but like despite that she is genuinely really nice. She’s just overbearing and insensitive. She's really charismatic and outgoing and she could be super popular if she wanted to be, but she chooses to mainly stick around the other girl instead

The other girl actually IS an esper. She's similar to Mob in the way that she also doesn't want to stand out, but it's for different reasons. She just wants to get by without drawing too much attention to herself, it's not like a traumatized thing. She’s socially anxious. I haven't really thought TOO much about her design, but I want her to look like any random person. Except for her hair. It's going to be dark brown, BUTTT I want it to be kinda choppy ecause at one point she got sick of her hairstyle and the gyaru girl wanted to help give her a haircut. But. It didn't turn out the way they wanted it to. IT DOESNT LOOK BAD OR ANYTHING, it's just an unusual style (to the psychic girl’s dismay).

Anyways so how they met and why the gyaru girl thinks she's an esper are the same. The gyaru girl was just doing whatever the fuck (haven't decided what yet) but somehow something was gonna hit her and she realized just a little too late and threw her hands up like you do when something is flying at you. And suddenly BOOM. It stops right in front of her.

The esper girl is like sitting in the background stopping whatever it is from hitting her, and the gyaru girl is surrounded by people so everyone starts freaking the fuck out. Like OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST STOP THAT WITH YOUR MIND?? WHAT THE HELL HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?? WHATS GOING ON??? And so the esper girl lets go of the thing and it falls to the ground in front of the other girl. She runs over to the gyaru and she's like "omg are you ok?" And yeah obvi the gyaru is fine but she's like. "DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID?? WAS THAT ME? WHAT" And remember how the esper girl doesn't really want to stand out? She knows that if people know about her psychic powers, she'll probably get attention for it. And she figures that the gyaru girl and everyone else thinking that it's the GYARU that has powers, they'll leave her alone. She’s a good cover.

So yeah the esper girl starts trying to get closer to the gyaru girl and they end up becoming friends, but since the gyaru has such a big personality and everyone thinks that they saw her stop the whatever with her mind, the gyaru ends up getting MORE attention and she starts showing off. So the esper has to cover for this girl without her knowing, and at first she's happy to do it because it means people will leave her alone. And they become really close and really codependent. The gyaru doesn't know that she needs the other girl to cover for her, she's just dependent on her bc yk. Kinda toxic highschool attachments. It's her best friend and they're like really attached to each other. Like hanging out all the time, rarely go anywhere without each other, (potentially!!) in love with each other (they have no idea).

Anyways at some point, after YEARS of this, the esper girl gets kind of sick of covering for the gyaru. It’s taking a lot of effort and she’s frustrated and she feels used. But since the gyaru is unaware of the way other people feel and the esper doesn't really have the guts to bring it up, it just continues and the esper starts getting a little bit bitter, because the gyaru girl Is using her, whether she knows it or not.

I want to make it clear that everything that happens is both of their's and nobody's fault. Communication is important and there is none, their entire relationship was started on a lie that technically benefitted both and neither of them at the same time, and it's highschool so shit's fucked. It’s mainly the psychic’s fault for lying in the first place, and the other girl has no idea, but the other girl is also insensitive and overbearing and she likes showing off more than she needs to.

At some point another esper, who I guess had been watching this happen for a while, comes up to the esper girl and they're like, "hey dude, I know you're covering for her, you should stop doing that and let everyone know that it's you. You have to come clean sometime anyways, this can't last forever." And the esper girl is like, ykw, I’m sick of covering for her, and being nearby her popularity has helped me get over my crippling social anxiety a little bit. I like what she has, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be known.

(I have to work on her reasoning a little bit) But yeah she gets sick of being (unintentionally) used, and she's probably under the impression that the gyaru knows what's happening at least a little bit

In front of a bunch of people she confronts the gyaru and shows off her powers for herself and stops helping cover for her. And since the gyaru had been under the impression that she WAS an esper for YEARS, she starts getting pissed because she can't understand what's going on, because wdym she doesn't really have powers? Wdym her best friend has been lying to her for literal years? Wdym their entire friendship was built on a lie that she wasn't even aware of? Wdym her AN ENTIRE PORTION OF HER SENSE OF SELF has been completely destroyed? (She puts too much of her sense of self into the idea that she’s an esper). And what do you mean everyone now thinks that she's been intentionally lying to them and tricking them because her best friendfinally confessed/confronted her in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL

Ok so at this point, esper girl has been semi subconsciously putting all the blame on the gyaru, because shouldn't she have known? Ofc the esper's not going to blame herself, why would she? (She's trying to protect herself from feeling super guilty about it, because deep down she knows that she was wrong, but she doesn't want to face that. She's been hurt and it's kind of her fault) But now she's realizing "wait.. did she really NOT know that she was using me? Did I do this for no reason?” So now she's feeling guilty, but remember, she doesn't want to acknowledge that all of this started because of HER lie and a misunderstanding. So she pushes that away and doubles down on calling the gyaru out.

The other girl is humiliated. She feels betrayed. I want to have something with her design visually deflating after this point. Because before that she's visually bold and confident, and now her sense of self has been thrown out the window and her best friend APPARENTLY isn’t really her best friend. She's been hurt like this in front of the entire school and now she has no one. She runs off and doesn't show up anywhere for a while.

In the meantime, the esper is getting a lot of attention from all of this. She's getting what she wanted, right? WRONG. She misses her friend and deeply regrets what she did. But she's still pushing that away because why? SHE HATES FEELING RESPONSIBLE. (Boooo 👎👎)

The esper girl is quickly rising in popularity, and she starts just trying to drink it in and forget about what happened, but eventually she and the gyaru run into each other (I think I'm gonna have it be at a convenience store lmao). Like late into the night. The gyaru is just there picking up snacks and an energy drink before she goes home.

The gyaru. Kinda looks like shit. So before all this, she had super curly blonde hair that she kept in a slicked back ponytail. She has a lot of hair. Obviously it's bleached, and at this point you can see her roots starting to come in. (because she had been due for a maintenance appointment at a salon like a week before the meeting because of her roots, but she didn't feel like there was a point). Before this, her design is colorful and really awesome, but now it's just dull and sad. There's no effort going into anything. Like think pinkie pie when she gets sad, except her hair doesn’t get less curly, it just gets less poofy and deflates.

The esper girl's design will have obviously gotten a lot bolder, she'll have started standing out more, but there'll be obvious cracks in her new persona. Eye bags poorly covered by concealer, hair still choppy and kinda messy, her posture still slips into the unconfident position that it was before, etc.

Anyways the gyaru girl sees the esper and just pays and dashes out of there. The esper feels all the guilt she had stored up inside of her start to bubble up and flow over, so she chases the gyaru to try to apologize. She does but they get into a huge fight, and the roles are sort of reversed now, now the GYARU is the one confronting the ESPER in public. Or I guess as public as it gets because it’s super late at night atp. The esper girl ends up telling her everything she feels and how sorry she is. They end up making up but they're never the same, they stay distant and apart.

Things are awkward, they start trying to avoid each other. Eventually they reconnect more and become friends again but there's still that distance. The gyaru never Really knew the esper and the whole thing gives her issues with trust. She also kind of hates herself for not realizing how the esper felt the whole time and tries to overcompensate in her new relationships with other people, and the esper just wallows in guilt and self hatred and pity. Like she finally acknowledges that it was her fault for lying, but she doesn't deal with it and understand it the way she should, so while she does feel sorry for what she did, she also feels really sorry for herself.

Anyways they drift apart after highschool, but if I want to be nice and undoom them, they officially meet again when they're like. Just out of college and they're finally able to work through everything that happened, but I like the doomed forever idea more

[viforbin]

Vinnie Hacker ~ Cowboy Like Me

Warnings: mentions of drugs, swearing (If I missed something pls lmk!!!!)

The start of an ‘unexpected’ romance between y/n and Vinnie.

Chapter 1:

I stared blankly at my reflection on the sliding glass door that was caused by the contrast of the darkness outside and brightness inside.

“I didn’t even realize he was home.” Turning my head to Jack.

He’s not paying attention to me, he’s hunched over leaning on the kitchen island. “Huh?” He then looks up from his phone unknowingly

I look back at the doors, but this time through them. Now focused on the back profile of him. Sitting on a patch of grass behind their pool that overlooked the Los Angeles skyline and the cliff they resided on. I figured he was upset after the whole thing with Alexa, but I didn’t really know what happened, so I can’t say I expected such melodrama.

I grabbed the handle and slid the door open, stepping outside. I closed the door behind me, muffling the 21 savage that was playing in the living room. It was brisk outside, brisk for LA. The last time I was in the city it was August, so I had gotten somewhat used to the heat. Then in September when I returned to New York for school I was hit with 35° at 12 pm. Safe to say, it was a familiar October breeze, one that reminded me of home.

I walked towards the pool and looked in it for a while. Then I made my way to the hot tub and finally to the grass he was seated on. I took a deep breathe and looked out at the view, then down at him.

“Seat taken?” As I went to sit down. We both knew he wasn’t going to avoid my presence.

He was silent, except for a few small shaky inhales. After I adjusted on the cold ground, I placed my hand on his upper back and tried to soothe him. He rubbed his eyes with the bases of his palm, looked at me for a second, then back out at the view.

I started to rub his back and he laughed. I followed with my own laughter because we both know how insufferable I find comforting people to be. He’s an exception every once and a while when he’s really upset though.

“I’m sorry,”

It took him a second to associate himself with the conversation blooming.

“What for?” His words were incomprehensible from his crying. And they stung a little bit.

“I don’t know, that you’re upset?” I didn’t mean for that to sound impatient or insensitive, and I know he wouldn’t have taken it like that. He was one of the only people who could see through whatever tone I accidentally exercised.

“I just thought it was different this time.” His voice was unsteady, and it sounded like he still had some tears in him. He sat up straighter and looked at the sky, forcing my hand off his back. I pulled it back towards myself, and contemplated then caressing his cheek. But I didn’t think it was the time.

“I know,” I looked down at my lap, “it’s gonna be okay dude, you know it is.”

Alexa and Vinnie had been together for no longer than a few weeks. They had hooked up sometimes during the summer, and decided to make it official. But today in the afternoon they got in an argument about his “emotional presence”, not only in their relationship, but their previous friendships… I guess Vinnie hadn’t been super focused on it.

Anyways, later at Sound in Hollywood, he made the faulty mistake of drunkenly barging in on Alexa and another guy in the family restroom doing…well I don’t actually know. I wasn’t there, but from what I’ve observed about intoxicated Vinnie, he probably didn’t take it very lightly.

At 11 pm I got a text from Eamonn saying what happened, and how he had to drag Vinnie, at that point barley sentient, back home. I guess Alexa soon followed and told Vinnie that he should’ve ‘expected it’ and that he ‘has no value’ for her other than his looks. I don’t think Eamonn told the guys though, as no one seems to notice Vinnie’s physical and emotional absence.

“What do you think I did? I swore she liked me! Like actually liked me.”

“She did!”

“She thinks I’m a loser y/n. Everyone does.” His face dropped.

“I don’t,” he didn’t answer me.

“You’re not a loser Vinnie. That’s such a stupid insult like I’ve only ever had the urge to call a politician a loser. You’re just a little nerdy sometimes who cares?”

“I don’t think ‘nerdy’ is any better,” he huffs. “It’s like every time I start to think I’m worth more then what I am on the outside I’m very much proven wrong.”

His words lost emotion now, no more sadness, but not anything positive either.

“Oh come on. You are,”

“Like what? What am I good at what do I do?” He looks at me, allowing eye contact for the first time tonight.

“Don’t do that Vinnie, don’t let other people blur how you view yourself. You know who you are. Don’t be ashamed of that.” I pause

“You’re so smart Vinnie, and you’re compassionate and understanding. I don’t think I know a better listener, or someone more considerate. You make everyone in a room feel welcome, you have a natural confidence that makes everyone want to be around you. And what you think you’re a loser? People love you Vin! Everyone inside does, I do.” I have to look away from him, I don’t like eye contact.

“So what you are a little nerdy,” I let out a giggle to ease the uncertain tension. He still has no answer.

To fill the silence I say, “Yeah you like anime and manga and whatever. And you spend 6 hours a day on your computer. You know every detail of the Star Wars lore and stuff. You love Pokémon and Nintendo and video games…”

“Okay I think we get it, I’m a degenerate.” he sniffs and shuts his eyes tight, freeing some tears left in his waterline.

I continue, “Oh stop, those things make you you. I think they’re quite charming yknow… it’s nice to see how passionate you can be. I don’t know. And hey you are a good looking guy, don’t get me wrong, but as far as I know, that’s like at the bottom of the l reasons you’re fucking awesome…I don’t know, I don’t think you should turn against yourself because some bitch thinks you’re too nerdy.”

I look at him to meet a longing gaze back at me. It’s silent for a little, too silent. Before I can break the awkward silence he leans in to connect our lips. The saltiness on his lips from his tears stun me, and suddenly Vinnie doesn’t appear to me how he did when we first met.

In 2021, I was in Miami visiting my ex boyfriend. I was at a party with some friends and Vinnie was there, apparently he had a boxing match later that week. We didn’t have much of a one on one conversation though, just a mutual introduction and group discussion. He was so shy and focused, so unlike the Vinnie I grew to know.

After that though we didn’t talk for an entire year. Except in June 2022 he followed me on instagram. Then in November of that year he was in New York for a modeling gig. I was at my friend Annabel’s place and she was throwing a housewarming party, she had just moved into this beautiful 800,000 Brownstone in Brooklyn. Obviously I wasn’t going to turn down that invite, despite my rather distaste for parties. That caught up to me through the night though, I ended up traveling to her fire escape on the second floor to roll up and escape from the networking occurring on the first floor. That’s when I saw Vinnie again.

See, you had to go through a bathroom window to get onto the fire escape, so I was also taking up a second bathroom.

He walked in and I was startled, mostly because I thought he was a stranger.

“Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone was in here.” He went to leave.

“No! No, I’m not using the bathroom. Sorry…I’ll leave.” I scrambled to get my things, so I didn’t further disrupt him.

“No, please it’s alright.” His voice finally clicked, that night in 2021 hit me, and suddenly I wasn’t in such a hurry.

“Vinnie?” God please remember me.

“Hey, oh wow y/n I didn’t even realize!” He put his hands in his back pockets.

“How are you? I thought you lived in LA.”

“I do, I’m here for work and stuff.”

“Oh okay,”

“I was just gonna smoke out here so I’ll go, don’t wanna you know stop you from using the bathroom or whatever.” God why am i so awkward.

“No, no it’s okay! I was coming up here to kind of escape the party anyways haha.” He lets out a laugh.

After a small silence he asks, “I mean, could I join you?”

Truthfully, I didn’t want him to. Not because I don’t like him, I just enjoy being alone. Something made me say yes though. We went out on the fire escape and lit the joint I had rolled before he came in. He was so different physically from the last time I saw him. His whole right arm was blank, and now it’s covered in ink like his left. His hair is longer, and he’s bigger, maybe leaner?

We talked about how life had been the past 2 years and whatnot. I opened up about that ex boyfriend, he told me about his grandmother and his brother. We talked like we had been friends for those two years. After that night he left again for LA, but we stayed in touch. By in touch I mean we called I think every night for 3 months straight, whether it was to play Valorant or just to talk. When we didn’t call every night, we texted every day. And whenever I was in LA, which was now a lot (for reasons totally other than to see him!) we hung out everyday.

Anyways I recall these experiences with a friend. Maybe even a little brother, okay not a little brother. Maybe like a hot family friend. Point is, this image of him was smeared all over my brain during this kiss. I’ve never even considered the idea of Vinnie liking someone like me. So maybe I just suppressed any possible feelings towards him…force of habit?

Coming too, I realized what was happening. I quickly removed myself from the kiss, causing him to inhale with hesitation.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that,” he said frantically, opening his eyes wider then before.

“No Vin, it’s okay,” I tried to convince him.

“I’m sorry,” “it’s fine, really!”

He looked at me one more time, and then got up and walked away in less then 5 seconds. In less then 5 seconds he was gone. I watched him enter the house and looked back out at the view. I couldn’t kiss him, he’s a mess! He’s so vulnerable and sad, he only kissed me because I was around and comforting him. That’s why. Holy fuck.

[shae-s-heartsong]

This is going to be more of a draft than an actual, complete, fully written fanfiction (mostly because I can’t exactly imagine a context). I mentioned before that I would like S3 Aziraphale and Crowley to have a conversation about how Crowley fell. Not only because it would help Aziraphale to put himself in Crowley’s shoes, to understand him, but also for what it represents. Intimacy. Trust. Honesty. A real progress in their relation and communication. A real progress in Aziraphale’s view of the world. It would also mean that he’s less scared, or ready to face reality. 

The idea is that during season 3, when they get together again (it will happen, eventually), after a few events that would lead them to work together, they would have a heart-to-heart conversation in Aziraphale’s bookshop, and explain the decisions they had to make. Aziraphale would say he has regrets. 

–

“What do you regret, Aziraphale? If… you want to tell me?” asked Crowley, and as he said that, he tried to sit correctly, pushing his still untouched glass of wine aside. 

The angel sighed - it was the sigh of someone who gathers courage before asking a difficult question. 

“Well… Actually, it’s something I should have done a long time ago. I guess I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t even know if you wanted to talk about it either, actually.” 

Crowley understood immediately. 

“You mean my Fall.” It was an encouraging statement.

“Yes. I should have asked earlier. I feel rather insensitive that I didn’t. If I had asked… Then I would probably have understood how unfair it was for me to ask you to come back to Heaven.” For a brief moment, he looked away, ashamed. “Now I think that I am ready to hear what you have to say about how it felt… and I think I need to. But that is only if you feel comfortable doing it.” 

Aziraphale patiently waited for Crowley’s answer, but the demon had to collect himself before actually talking. Because it wasn’t going to be easy. After all these years, he was still vulnerable about his Fall. Especially with Aziraphale around. Aziraphale, trying to mend the pieces of the precious thing they had both broken. 

“Right. Well.” He cleared his throat, straightened. He nervously tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. Perceiving Crowley’s anxiety, Aziraphale initiated a gesture to take his hand, wanting to reassure him, but he hesitated before deciding that it was worth trying. 

The softness of the act made Crowley realize how intimate this moment was going to be - and it was a bit scary. He removed his hand.

“I’ll need my glasses to do this.” 

He took them and put them on hastily, then resumed his initial position - and, to Aziraphale’s surprise, he grabbed his hand again, tangling their fingers - accepting his quiet support.  

“Okay. The truth is, angel, that even today, I’m not exactly sure why I fell.”

Ah, shit. He hadn’t expected his voice to break at the first sentence. He hadn’t expected that he’d want to cry, admitting this. He thought that it would be the easiest part, saying that he didn’t understand, but that’s something he had never told anyone, except, in desperate attempts, to God. Lonely tears made their way down his face. 

“It- It was the hardest part. And feeling lonely was not exactly great, either.” He gulped, trying to kill the sobs threatening to escape from his throat. “And then, there was Hell. And I couldn’t find my place there, either.” He didn’t mention the physical pain he had to endure, it was irrelevant. “I only had questions, once again.” 

He noticed that Aziraphale was crying, too.

“Angel, that’s not helping if you’re crying”, he said, trying to sound amused, but his voice was shaking. He looked in his pocket and found a second pair of sunglasses. “Take.” 

“But I will still be crying.”

“Yeah, well, at least I won’t see you.”

The angel obeyed - he looked ridiculous with the glasses on, which actually did help Crowley. 

“ Like I said, aside from asking questions, I don’t know what made God cast me away from Heaven. I guess I’ll never know for sure. For a long time I was angry and bitter and completely lost. But with time, I understood that I just wasn’t fit for either Heaven or Hell. I guess I’d just like to understand.” 

He didn’t know what to add. He had expected to have more things to say, but he just couldn’t find anything more to say. He guessed that beyond knowing the facts, Aziraphale had mostly wanted to access Crowley’s mind, and stop this from being something they couldn’t talk about. And now it was done, and they were both still here, and though it was sad, they both felt relieved. 

“I’m so sorry”, said Aziraphale. I’m so sorry I didn’t ask before ; I’m so sorry you had to go through this on your own ; I’m so sorry I don’t have the answer you’re looking for ; I’m so sorry Heaven failed you. These things were left unsaid, but Crowley could grasp the meaning behind the words. 

“It’s fine, Angel.” You came. But he couldn’t bring himself to say that, so instead he said, in the softest possible way: “I forgive you”. 

Aziraphale smiled - it was a sad but grateful smile. 

“And - I’m sorry, too”, said Crowley. 

The angel looked confused. “What are you apologizing for?” He asked, removing the glasses. His eyes were shining in a moist glow but he wasn’t crying anymore. 

He had to say it. 

“ I was unfair to you too.” He tensed a little as he kept talking. “And I shouldn't have kissed you. The way I did.” 

“ Oh, Crowley.” There was pain in Aziraphale’s voice. 

“ No, it’s true. I didn’t even wait until… I mean I wasn’t sure if you were okay with it (he almost had said “I didn’t wait until you were ready for it”, which was assuming that he wanted it in the first place). And it wasn’t how I would have wished it was. Didn’t mean it… that way.” 

Aziraphale was listening with a hopeful look. He asked prudently: “How did you mean it, then?” 

Crowley was hoping that the question would come. He was fearing it, too - because he didn’t want to mess up, this time. He wanted to do this the right way. 

He removed his sunglasses. Aziraphale’s breath stopped for a brief moment, he could hear it. He carefully watched Aziraphale’s face, trying to figure if it was the right time, and trying to communicate the intimacy he was offering. Their eyes met automatically, and he knew that he was given permission because the angel looked like he was waiting for him. 

Slowly, to give the Angel the choice to stop him, Crowley leaned towards Aziraphale. Hesitantly, Aziraphale glanced at Crowley’s lips. He knew what was coming. 

And Crowley kissed Aziraphale. 

He cupped the angel’s face with both his hands, his thumbs brushing the skin of his cheeks, while Aziraphale’s hand clenched Crowley’s shirt, on his back. 

This kiss, unlike the previous one, conveyed the right feelings Crowley and Aziraphale had long longed to express to each other. Feelings that didn’t need to be told, because they both knew, and they had known for decades, if not centuries. Feelings of peace, of acceptance, of forgiving, and, most of all, of hope. It was gentle and soft, so very soft. 

It didn’t last for too long. Crowley wanted the kiss to be chaste, yet intimate. But none of them moved away; when they broke the kiss, Aziraphale’s breath was irregular. He put his other hand on Crowley’s chest, where his heart was. He could feel his strong heartbeat, pumping peacefully. 

“Thank you”, said Aziraphale, when he got calmer.

And these words were exactly what Crowley needed to hear.  

-

I’m writing that mostly for myself, I just needed the softness and the talk. Like I said, it’s something I wrote without thinking too much about it, so Azi and Crowley might not be very in character. But hey I need the healing, so I guess, just enjoy?

[blatantescapism]

Ah yes, it’s that special day where once again I find myself wondering what the ever-living fuck Joe Finigan was thinking.

This is the story of how I utterly failed to have the appropriate emotional reaction to 9/11. Mind the trigger tags. I’d add more but I ran out. This story is insensitive by nature and I probably shouldn’t share it, but it’s also such a weird slice of American life that I kinda feel like I gotta.

So, context.

Columbine happened in 1999, when I was in 5th grade. Schools across the US started to be like, “hm, maybe it’s time to actually address this issue somehow.” Our elementary school brought in some random police officers to talk about it. Police who, if anything, had been trained in how to make kids more traumatized.

We didn’t have active shooter drills back then. They were just like, “Hey kids, I want you to imagine this fucked up scenario that I am vividly describing. What would you do if it happened to you? Do you have a Plan? Will you be able to stick to your Plan even while your classmates are screaming? You should think about it hard, in graphic detail, so that when the time comes you won’t hesitate to make Tough Choices. Breaking your leg because you jumped out a window is still better than being dead! Listen to this story of a girl who hid under a desk, but then the gunman found her and she couldn’t escape because there was no room to maneuver and so she was trapped and the gunman shot her while she bravely said her prayers, we have a weird creepy obsession with painting the victims as modern Christian martyrs and we totally invented the entire story but you won’t realize that for at least a decade. And remember: don’t run in a straight line, run in zigzags so that you’re harder to shoot.”

So yeah, that was 1999, we were 11 years old, and we took that shit very much to heart.

Two years later, it’s 2001. There have been 15 new US school shootings in that time. My sister and I are in middle school, it’s early in the school year but we’ve started to get into a normal rhythm,

Suddenly there is a totally unexpected blare on the intercom. It’s Principal Joe Finigan, he is about to make the most significant announcement of his career, and for some fucking reason he decides that THIS is the best thing to say:

“There has been a, uh, a terrible tragedy. Everyone should go home now. Uh, ask your parents what happened. As far as we know, we are not a target at this time.” Click.

We don’t have any other sources of information. The teachers aren’t telling us what’s going on, but some are crying.

Obviously there must have been a school shooting in town. But what the hell did he mean by “as far as we know, we are not a target at this time”? That makes it sound like the gunman is still at large. Is this a sniper situation? Is it even safe to walk home? Are we going to have to line up in the office and take turns using the school telephone to call our parents?

We cautiously head outside, and there’s a line of parents already out there waiting in their cars to pick their kids up. Oh shit, it must be bad. Was it the kindergarten? Or the Catholic prep school?

Our mom is upset. She says she doesn’t want to talk about it while driving. She’ll show us the news on the TV when we get home.

We get home and steel ourselves to face the news, fully expecting to see the names of close friends and neighbors listed among the dead.

So please imagine how appalled our dear mother is when we say, “Wait a minute- all this fuss is because some buildings are on fire in a completely different state?!”

“As far as we know, we are not a target at this time.”

Dear Joe Finigan. What the fuck made you say that. Please tell me, did you genuinely imagine terrorists being like

“At this time, our target is the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. But next, we shall target a mediocre school in a bland suburban town that nobody has ever heard of! Ohoho! Ah hah ha ha!”

Anyway, there’s something to be said about how after both events, the US response was, “You see, this is why we need more guns. We tooootally promise they’ll only be used to hurt Bad Guys! After all, we’re the Good Guys! USA! USA!”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I'm just waiting for the Episode of Savanaclaw to show little Leona and the little lion getting his hopes and dreams crushed by everyone around him.

Also, this might sound weird but I always thought Leona and Dominique from The Case Study of Vanitas were kinda similar. Their both the youngest child of high-standing families and were viewed as inferior towards their older sibling(s) (In Dominique's case, 2 older half siblings and deceased older twin brother). But in the end, Dominique realised that her cryokinesis is actually way more powerful than even her older half siblings' because hers aren't violent like those of her half-siblings.

Now, I'm not saying Leona's parents are abusive/cruel (though it could be a possibility) and told Leona "You're brother can already do this, why can't you?" or "Falena's already unlocked his Unique Magic, why're you so slow?" (that's the servants' job) but it wouldn't surprise me if they did accidentally said something insensitive (or Leona misinterpreted what they were really trying to say) to Leona that crushed his already crippling self-esteem issues.

Maybe Leona tried to tell his parents how badly he wanted to be king and they said something along the lines of "You're brother's already going to be the king, so stop whining. You've been given everything you wanted." or "Falena's going be the next king and you can't change that." And maybe that finally caused him to snap and start being apathetic towards everything.

Again, this is just a theory I have and it may not happen. Hell, I probably got a few things wrong about Leona's character and backstory.

I’ve only read like one volume of The Case Study of Vanitas I won it in a raffle haha and I don’t know if I’ll continue reading it so 😅 not sure if I 100% get all the details about Dominique and how she parallels Leona. I like Vanitas x Jeanne only because Jeanne hates his guts while Vanitas simps for her and it’s so funny—

Personally, I've never thought of Leona's parents as playing a particularly significant role in his trauma (mainly because the game never showed either of them in his flashback, nor did it indicate the parents as being the center or the “trigger” that made Leona lose hope in himself). The focus of the flashback was on servants and Farena/Falena. The other boys' OB flashbacks also obviously feature major sources for their trauma such as Mama Rosehearts, Azul's bullies, the Viper parents, etc. so if Leona’s parents did play a big role in him being the way he is, it’s strange that they didn’t show up in his flashback.

Leona's parents are barely even mentioned; I only ever recall one instance where it was said that his dad is ill enough to the point where he cannot lead their country, thus Farena/Falena has to act as king. There is no mention of Leona's mother as far as I can tell, and neither parent has been really characterized. Maybe they'll actually get mentioned in the manga adaptation's telling of Leona's flashback?

I don’t doubt that maybe the parents may have said a few insensitive things here and there offhandedly (because everyone naturally makes missteps), but I don’t know about outright telling Leona to “stop whining” or “why are you so slow”. That’s just… very blatantly rude to tell anyone, let alone your own child. I’m not saying it’s not possible for a parent to say such a thing, but I think it’s a bit of a leap in logic to suggest that parents we barely know about would.

I totally buy that Leona would get pissed off and lash out at his parents for misinterpretations on his part though. When his self esteem is already low and he believes the world is against him, it’ll skew his perception of others’ words and actions as negative too. We most clearly see this exemplified when Leona acts bitter towards Farena/Falena, in spite of his older brother showing actually showing Leona a lot of genuine support. I’m more inclined to believe that the parents were also pretty supportive and well-meaning (if Farena/Falena is of any indication), but that Leona interpreted their good will as pity and/or backhanded compliments, or that they could never understand his plight. I’d at least like to think they were a little more tactful/wise with their wording rather than sound annoyed every time Leona expressed a grievance 😔 Alternatively, the parents were probably just never around much due to royal duties, so maybe Leona felt like he never got that social support from their end.

The nature of Leona’s struggle is also something that’s generally seen as more cumulative, rather than there being a single turning point that made him give up on trying. I don’t think you can really point at any singular instance and say, “yes, this part of his past is what made him ‘snap’.” It’s the constant rejection and being beat down by the world and the people he’s trying to get validation from that wears away at his spirit.

[worldsfromhoney]

Tears For You

Masterlist

CW: my heart ached when i wrote this. Yours might too

Prompt 22: Cry

Caretaker thought it had been the sound of rain. It was definitely constant enough to be near that, drops hitting stone in a gentle spatter. Except rain had never sounded like a song. It never sounded like the tinkling of those music box contraptions nobles had.

Rain had never sounded so sad, either.

Caretaker rounded the corner, and there Whumpee was, making rain with their tears of music. They called it music, but it was the tinkling sound of crystalline tears dropping on the stone.

Under the moonlight, it looked like stars.

“Ah,” Whumpee said, flicking away a tear. “You found me.”

Caretaker didn’t say they hadn’t been looking. That would be rude and they might fit into the whole ‘stoic knight’ stereotype, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t read the room. In this case, it was a hidden alcove carved into a garden hedge. Within this maze where even their prince got lost in, the spot was indeed a secluded one.

“I didn’t know you knew this spot,” Caretaker said instead of all the insensitive options like you should clean those up and it’s illegal to sell star tears if you must know.

Whumpee seemed to pluck those questions from Caretaker.

“I know and I will,” They said and let out a hollow laugh. “Sorry. I’m putting you on the spot, aren’t I?”

Caretaker cleared their throat. “Kind of, yes.”

“Well, aren’t you an honest one?” Whumpee smiled, and it was the sad kind that struggled to keep the corners up. “Any tips you could share about being so, Knight?”

Caretaker felt awkward. They hadn’t really interacted much with Whumpee other than registering their presence as their prince’s steward. If it hadn’t been for their long-standing service, they probably wouldn’t have recognised the other. They weren’t close.

They still answered.

“Honesty’s required for the job,” Caretaker said, all the while watching twinkling tears drop like shooting stars from Whumpee’s eyes. “If it wasn’t, I reckon I’d be lying every day.”

Whumpee stared. Then their eyes turned into crescents, and their lips split into a genuine smile.

It was the laugh that got Caretaker, though. Something of a symphony. Something of a sound no music box maker can craft into simple tones. It was the laugh that got Caretaker to awkwardly shuffle into the alcove and let Whumpee borrow their shoulder.

They didn’t ask who the star tears were for. They knew.

From the moment Caretaker set their eyes on their prince’s steward, they knew Whumpee was in love. They could see it with the easy laugh and smiles they offered no one else. There were the strained smiles when their prince spoke of their trysts.

Such a love did not disappear from notice just because Caretaker was aware of its consequences. They noticed more now, though. How Whumpee would always have something clinking in their pockets when they walked by each other after their prince.

There was also the more obvious effect of colour blindness.

“Get me that purple shirt, will you? The one I wore during the 3rd princess’ birthday.”

Caretaker watched Whumpee’s face closely. Panic flashed across their face. Their mind seemed to audibly whirr to think of an excuse or a way they could fulfil their prince’s request.

Caretaker sighed, grabbed the purple shirt, and tossed it in their prince’s face. They ignored the indignant squawking. They also ignored Whumpee’s inquisitive stare.

It was nothing. It continued.

“Buy those bolts of silk there, will you? The ruby ones.”

“The fourth princess wants some paints for her birthday. Well, go on and pick some out. She likes the pastels.”

“I think I have some emeralds in my box, yet. Get the most brilliant ones for the fifth prince’s sword, will you?”

It was nothing, too, when Caretaker would include the alcove in the gardens as part of their patrol. They’d come to bring a handkerchief with them, spending a good amount of coins on high-quality cotton for it. They would’ve given it to Whumpee if they hadn’t laughed off the gift.

“I’m not worthy of favour from such a knight as you,” They said as they returned the handkerchief, the tear spots still clear on the cloth.

Caretaker was as quiet as a shoulder to cry on should be, but they stirred that time. They shifted to face Whumpee, eyes on theirs, which silently wept. Their fingers twitched.

“I am sure,” They said, following the fall of each tear like a child wishing on a star. “You are worthy of more than I — of more than you may think.”

If that was the first time Whumpee wailed and cried aloud in their presence, they didn’t show any surprise. They were just a shoulder to cry on, after all.

“You should court them.”

Caretaker looked at their prince. It was just the two of them. Whumpee had gone out to fetch their prince’s dinner. Their prince, who had a knowing glint in their eye.

Caretaker turned away. Their hands clenched and unclenched, unsure as ever—unsure since they heard the music of rain and saw the stars fall.

They smiled. It seemed familiar.

“I will not,” They said, and that was that because they’d promised, hadn’t they, to be a shoulder to cry on?

That they were and that they would be.

Whumpee accidentally touched nightshade. They had been foraging for the kitchens and the physician and Caretaker hadn’t been there.

For the first time, Caretaker got lost in the garden maze. They turned left, right, went straight, and encountered dead ends after dead ends. It made no sense why they were here, of all places. Caretaker should’ve gone straight for the physician’s quarters or the servant’s.

They did not dare think of going to the morgue.

It was embarrassing and a relief when it was Whumpee who found them. They looked pale under the moonlight and Caretaker wanted to curse the celestial thing for it. Sweat beaded on their forehead, but other than the paleness, they looked… fine. Okay.

Not dead.

“Oh my dear,” Whumpee said and suddenly their hands were on Caretaker’s face, wiping away the… tears? “Who has hurt you so, my dear knight?”

Caretaker never cried. They’d stopped when their father told them they now had a duty and it was the crown prince. Their prince had cried in their stead and it’d been that way for years.

Caretaker never cried.

“You.” They sobbed, clutching at those hands they had wished to touch for months. “You and your stars.”

When was it, they wondered. When was the question and why was the answer.

Why not cry for me?

Whumpee, in all their kindness and cruelty, laughed wetly. They put their foreheads together, whispering fool, before bringing their lips against the other’s.

And somewhere down the line, their tears started falling for each other.

[obihiro-division]

Hisoka’s Thoughts on Shinagawa Division

Ritsuko Okada

“Okada…? Where have I heard that last name before? Might be misremembering something… I have to. I mean, isn’t this a dangerous scientist working with Chuohku? That means she’s probably someone looking forward to watching me die… Maybe she’s someone who wants to butcher me! C-Calm down, I can’t lose my nerves already. I think I’ve made myself clear on what I think of her, at least. She’s terrifying. She’s one of the last teams I ever want to face… Not like I have any choice about who I’m put against.”

Miho Kobayashi

“Ah… The newly divorced… M-My condolences to her. Thankfully it sounds like their marriage didn’t last long, so the damage shouldn’t be that bad? Sorry, that probably sounds insensitive.”

“Thankfully I never had to meet her. Chōten-san didn’t have the chance to bring her up to Hokkaido to meet his horses. Probably for the best, it would have left a bitter taste between us. At least from what I’ve heard, she’s pretty nice. Much better than Chōten-san, if I’m being frank. Augh, I keep expressing how much I don’t really care for him, even if he isn’t really as bad as the other customers…!”

Sumire Shinomiya

“Why are so many kids in this mess… Shouldn’t their parents be worried that they’re putting their children up on stage with criminals? Murderers, even?”

“Wait… What do you mean, she’s a criminal too? Seriously, at 17? Ah… I guess I don’t have room to speak. I did help Haruto rob some people when I was even younger… B-But nothing to the extremes this little girl is going! Hacking into companies and stealing from them?! That’s just unthinkable… What does a kid need with that much money anyways? I can’t think of much I would have done with that much cash, aside from helping out my mom… Thankfully, I think she’s doing better now that going to such an extreme isn’t needed.”

CodeX

“If Ritsuko is so evil and the little girl is hiding such dark secrets… Does that mean Miho is hiding something sinister? I can’t imagine that, seeing what she’s been through… I think this might be the one time I’m willing to hear Jack whisper all the sick shit he knows about this team. The curiosity might kill me- No, I don’t want to think about that. If anyone’s gonna kill me, its Ritsuko and all the people she works with!”

[fates-theysband]

i caught a glimmer of what i was hoping to see

a fic loosely based on the events of literally every damb loop where i first learn to meditate in an outer wilds run. what if i ended up stranded on your island (and we were both loop aware theyliens 😳😳😳😳😳)

cws: none of this is actually Depicted but there's implications of asphyxiation and suicide as well as canon-typical mention of apocalypse scenarios

words: more than i planned! (1.8k)

--

Traveler’s Log, Loop #…I’ll figure it out later!

When I break this loop I’m probably REALLY going to regret putting this in my ship log. I can already hear Hornfels bending my ear for using a research and discovery documentation tool as my diary, but my options are writing it down or telling someone about it. And…well, Hal would tease me so hard I might actually die from it, I feel like it’d be really insensitive to tell Zirc something like this after what happened last time I stuck around Timber Hearth, and anyone else would be weirded out that I’m telling them something this personal. So I’m writing it down.

Let me set the scene. I’d finally managed to land on the Orbital Probe Cannon—trying to chase it down without getting caught in Giant’s Deep’s gravitational pull is hard enough but actually maneuvering yourself to land on the landing pad without breaking anything important? Forget it—and I was investigating inside when…I’m not proud of this, but I saw that weird cloudy moon again, and I realized the cannon was hurtling toward it. “This is great!” I thought to myself. “Landing on it with my ship didn’t work, but maybe if I were to jump out of that big empty spot where the tracking module broke off once the cannon gets close enough? I just gotta keep eyes on it…”

Bad news, it didn’t work. Something about getting close to the moon counts as “ceasing observation” whether you’re in your ship or not. And not only did it not work, but in the process of it not working I was left with my jetpack fuel running on empty so there was no way I was making it back to my ship unless I wanted to drain my O2 in the process. Good news, I didn’t drift off into space and get stranded again! Definitely didn’t need a repeat performance of loop 4. Dark side of the bad news, I did almost take an island to the face. Again. But this time it was flying up at me instead of falling down at me. Which I guess means it would technically be a different way to reset than I did before?

The point is, the island didn’t hit me this time. I was able to get a grip on one of the branches on a cliffside tree before it fell back beneath the cloud cover. Not a great situation, but it’s a lot better than being stranded in space or plummeting into the ocean with no landmasses in sight. I could climb down once the island could reasonably be considered terra firma and go from there. Not ideal, but I could probably recover?

Well, hypothetical future reader who hopefully will be post-loop me about to delete this and write in a real journal and not ground control thinking that this is going to lead to actual information Outer Wilds Ventures can use, the suffering did not end there! I’d been too busy, you know, hearing my heart pounding in my ears after the moon disappeared to notice any other sounds around me, nor did I really have a lot of time to look down before grabbing onto that branch, or figure out how far up I was, or check how sturdy the branch was, or make basically any judgments about whether this was really a better idea than getting stuck in space again, I just knew that it was an option that was not getting stuck in space again. Which was enough for me.

Anyway, the second the island hit the water, the branch I was holding on to snapped and I plummeted to a different kind of doom entirely–I somehow managed to not land on anything that would hurt me too bad physically, but…I feel like I’m going to die from embarrassment just typing this. I landed on Gabbro. Broke one of their hammock strings. Made them drop their flute, saw it get swept away in the few seconds the island went underwater, so I had that on my conscience too. Surprised I didn’t hurt them, or at least they didn’t give any indication that I did.

What’s even worse is that they were still cool about it. They just chuckled and said, “Hey, time buddy. Nice of you to drop in.” I’m sure they weren’t trying to twist the knife but stars above did it feel so much worse to hear them remind me that hey! If I’d embarrassed myself this bad in front of anyone else they’d at least forget once the sun went and everything reset, but there was nothing I could do to ensure Gabbro would forget this.

I was in a worse panic mode at this point than I had been when I was in space. I scrambled to my feet, reached down to try and help them up. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I? Oh, stars above, I’m so sorry, I don’t know how I didn’t see you, or hear you, or–”

They shook their head and made no move to stand up. “Relax, you just knocked the air out of me. And hey, that’s what I planted the trees to help with so, no big deal.”

“At least let me help you set your hammock back up, I feel awful for knocking it down like that. Oh, stars above, this is just like last year’s village fair all over again…” 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I don’t feel like getting up again,” they answered, putting a hand behind their head and relaxing more (which, it was wild to realize that Gabbro is capable of relaxing more than they already have whenever I see them). “And I heard they were able to patch that hole in the observatory roof just fine. You’d never be able to tell if you didn’t see it happen.” They patted the ground next to them and looked expectantly (I think? The helmets are polarized. Hard to tell what expression anyone is making) up at me.

“Whoever told you that was lying, it’s so obvious what happened.” I sat down next to them, drawing my knees to my chest. I could still hear my heart beating in my ears. “I…really don’t understand how you take everything so in stride. Even knowing it was an accident and everything’s going to reset, how aren’t you at least annoyed that I ruined your whole setup?”

They attempted a shrug–it didn’t look very much like one from the position they were in, but I got the point. “What would that do? I’ll wake up in a few minutes and have to set the whole thing back up anyway. Until then, the sand is soft, and my flute’s probably hanging out with my ship somewhere, so it’s not lonely. And you’re here with me, so it’s a fair trade.” 

I could have passed out. I feel like I’m going to pass out typing this down after the fact. What did they mean, “and you’re here with me, so it’s a fair trade”? I definitely couldn’t say anything normal in response to that–I think I tried to but I made some kind of weird choking noise instead before spluttering out “Thank you.” Not my finest…er, 22-minute loop period.

Gabbro snickered a bit as they sat up, just enough to meet my eyes. “You are so welcome, buddy. And, uh, by the way…what were you doing in that tree?”

“I did something stupid and dangerous that I thought would work, it didn’t, your island was in grabbing distance, and I figured it was better than drifting out to space and emptying both my tanks chasing after the probe cannon to get back to my ship.” I could feel my face burning as I quickly rushed the explanation out. They probably weren’t going to say any more extremely sweet things to me after hearing that.

“Wow,” they responded, lying back down. “Wish I could think on my feet like that. I’d probably still be up there if that was me. Then I’d have to use my secret technique to skip to the end.”

I stood extremely corrected. And also a little alarmed. “That’s…kinda morbid.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not what you’re thinking. I meditate. It’s a lot less painful.” They went quiet for a moment, as if they were thinking about something. “How long has it been since you woke up?”

“Like…between getting here, exploring the probe cannon, my little ill-fated spacewalk, and running into you, I’d say at least seventeen minutes?” I looked up at the sky as though I’d see anything but clouds. I didn’t. “I can’t see the sun so it’s hard to tell.”

“Want me to teach you? Shouldn’t take long. You seem like you could use the mental break.”

They had me there. It was kinda sad to think about cutting it short when I’d finally gotten to a point where I wasn’t convinced they thought I was a loser and a terrible astronaut, but hey. If nothing else, I could rest assured neither of us would forget. I nodded. “Yeah, go for it.”

“Cool. Just lay back and close your eyes,” they said, already seeming to slow down their breathing.

I obliged, stretching out from my curled up sitting position and lying down on my back next to them. They were right. The sand was soft. I was closing my eyes as I felt something wrap around my hand, and turned to notice Gabbro’s hand in mine.

It was hard to tell with the helmet, but they turned their head away in what I thought (hoped?) might have been shyness or embarrassment. “Oh. You know, in case the island gets flung into space again. Don’t wanna get separated.”

For the first time since this loop began, I smiled. “Yeah. Would defeat the purpose of the whole exercise.” I turned my head back to face the sky and gave their hand a squeeze as I closed my eyes again. “What’s the next step?”

“Only other step there is. Take deep, slow breaths. Match my breathing, if you want. It’ll be the next loop before you know it.”

I don’t know how long the two of us laid there, breathing in sync, slowly, gently. I know that when I opened my eyes I was on Timber Hearth, looking up at Giant’s Deep, watching the cannon explode again. And I know that Slate made some remark about how I must have had a good dream because I was smiling when I got up. And I know…

Oh, stars above, how long have I been writing this? The sun’s huge. There’s no way I can get anything done this loop. Time to see if that technique will work again. Tourmaline out.