#I know what you did last summer headers

[lastsummericons]

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (1997)

[palioom]

little dove

summary: your first attendance of a huge feast is bothersome, alone and inexperienced as you are. until the eyes of a certain prince won't stop following you.

pairing: oberyn martell x f!reader

word count: 4.5k

warnings: 18+ content; no use of y/n; virginity/innocence kink; implied age gap (oberyn is in his early 40s, reader early 20s); fingering; unprotected p in v; creampie; some biting

a/n: another fic from last summer, hope you enjoy! ; headers & dividers by @/saradika-graphics

follow @palioomfics & turn on notifs for future updates

• masterlist •

Oberyn had been watching her all night already, his dark eyes following the shape of her wherever she went. Between the bustle of the people, her bright orange glowing dress like the sun, rising and settling as she appeared and disappeared, standing around like she didn’t know what to do with herself.

It was adorable, a smirk gracing his features as he watched her wring her hands, smiling sheepishly when someone approached her. 

So innocent.

He could see the nervousness on her face from where he sat, the uncertainty, clearly not used to people approaching her.

He could see the heavy rise and fall of her chest, exposed by the deep cut of her garments.

Taking another sip of his wine, Oberyn stood, deciding now was his time.

The festivities had been going on for a while, and even though he had planned on celebrating with a group of people in his bedchambers later, she had thrown those plans into the wind the second he set sight on her.

Something just intrigued him, maybe it was the innocence she seemed to harbour, maybe it was her beauty.

Whatever it was, he had to know more, waiving away another woman that approached him with a polite smile, then walking over to the mysterious woman.

She looked around nervously, playing with the rings on her hands as people passed by her, some stopping to talk to her.

Feeling incredibly out of place at this feast, her first big one, she didn't quite know what to do. Her parents were somewhere, as were her siblings.

The lords trying to speak to her made her feel uneasy, knowing she was supposed to find a possible suitor at some point, but wanting nothing more than to flee this place.

In fact, she was thinking about just leaving, when she was approached again.

Tall, dark haired and handsome. The Prince of Dorne, Oberyn Martell.

She had seen him at his table, stealing a glance every once in a while and looking away when his dark eyes caught hers.

And now he stood in front of her, flashing her a wide smile.

“My Prince.” She said, curtsying as well as she could, perhaps a little clumsily. 

Out of everything she had expected to happen today, she did not expect for him to approach her.

“Do you intend to sulk in the shadows all night, my dove?”

She blinked up at him, once again playing with the rings on her fingers.

“I have not been sulking.” A frown graced her face, a slight tremble in her voice. His presence was intimidating, but different from the other people who had approached her. “I have been observing.”

Oberyn chuckled, taking a small step closer to her, watching her step back just a little in return. So close to her, he could practically feel the nervosity radiating off of her, trying to hold eye contact before they moved away again, looking at anything but him.

“Observing by turning down all lords and ladies who approach you?” He said, watching her fingers stop for just a moment, as if she had been caught, before fiddling with her rings again. “I must admit, I have been watching you for a while - you are the only lady not dancing, not talking to anyone. Just standing in your corner, sometimes moving to follow the servants for a drink or something to eat.”

She stayed quiet. Had she been that noticeable? Just by standing around, hoping for a saving grace?

“I assume this to be your first attendance at a feast this big, am I correct, my dove?”

That nickname.

It made her feel warm, a different kind of warmth than the Dornish weather. Running through her in an unfamiliar fashion, her veins like molten metal, a strange feeling moving up her spine..

“Yes, my Prince.” She said, nodding, but not looking at him.

Oberyn noticed how she became more nervous, smirking at the display in front of him.

“My parents have kept me from them for long, I was only ever allowed to attend small ones.” She continued, sighing. “It is quite overwhelming. I am inexperienced in these kinds of things.”

Her words made him inhale sharply through his nose, still smiling.

If she was inexperienced in this, what else was she inexperienced in?

He had wanted her before, but now the desire for her burned even brighter. Oberyn wanted to show her the things her parents have undoubtedly sheltered her from.

To keep their daughter pure for a potential suitor.

“I understand, my dove. Would you perhaps allow me to accompany you to a place more quiet?”

Usually, he did not beat around the bush when it came to a potential partner for the night.

But it was different with her. If he was blunt he would simply chase her away.

She didn’t look at him, thinking about his question.

All the other men and women that had asked before had made her feel uneasy. Unsure why they wanted to whisk her away, promising a better night someplace else.

But the Prince of Dorne? He made her feel different. A heat and a pressure in her abdomen that she never felt before.

She knew of the rumours, that he took many partners, for whatever they did. Yet, as he stood in front of her, charming smile and good looks, she felt herself drawn to him.

Oberyn reached out, placing a finger under her chin and forcing her to look up at him. “I asked you a question, my dove.”

His fingers on her chin made her still, just looking up at him with her big eyes, lips slightly parted. The touch made that pressure worse, breath hitching in her throat.

“My Prince, I’m-” She stumbled over her words, unsure what to answer.

He just chuckled, a sigh leaving him. “You are quite easily flustered, my dove. Come with me, please.”

Holding out his arm for her to take, he hoped she would. Such an innocent, pretty thing. There was something so endearing about the way she was behaving.

She swallowed hard, looking from his face to his arm, hesitating for a moment. Something drew her to him, and after another moment, she hooked her arm into his with a nervous smile.

Oberyn walked her away from the feast, the noises dying down behind them as they walked the long corridors.

“What did the other lords and ladies ask of you, my dove?” 

She sighed, glad to be away from the bustle in the halls, but feeling uncertain now, a throbbing at the apex of her thighs distracting her.

“They wished to take me away for some fun. I’m unsure what they meant exactly.” She didn’t look at him, too nervous to meet his dark, piercing eyes. 

It was intimidating, she had never been in the presence of a man other than her father or her brothers alone. She knew how to behave, for the most part, but nonetheless was it a little scary.

Oberyn smirked, looking down to her, seeing how she only stared at the floor or ahead of them. 

“You did not know what they were implying?” He asked, a bit amused but genuinely curious. “My little dove, you must be younger than I thought or your parents simply were too careless with your education.”

She remained quiet, her cheeks growing hot. 

A sense of shame washed over her, that he thought she was too young. It was as if her friends were with her, giggling and whispering because of something she didn’t understand.

And when she asked, they never explained, finding it too amusing to laugh and belittle her.

There was something she was missing out on, and she hated not knowing what.

“My dove, you do not have to be ashamed.” He said, his other hand coming to gently rest on hers. “If you wish, I could show you.”

He had been right about the assumptions of her being a virgin, too innocent for her own good.

Walking next to her, he felt something else besides the desire for her, a need to protect.

As if he was the only one allowed to show her, that anyone else would simply take advantage of this fact.

Now her eyes met his, brows furrowed. 

“Show me?” She echoed his words. “How? What exactly?”

Oberyn just smiled, eyes leaving hers to look at the guards standing by the door of his chambers.

He stopped, not too far away from the door, looking back at her.

“Do you wish for me to show you, my dove?” He asked, brushing back a strand of hair, tucking it behind her ear. “If not, I understand.”

She should be wary. Despite him being the Prince of Dorne, she should think about this. But she was curious, so curious about what this thing was that she had been missing out on.

And there was still that feeling inside of her.

“Yes, my Prince.” She said with a small nod. “I am curious, please.”

He chuckled, his knuckles brushing over her cheek. “Please, call me Oberyn, my dove.”

Moving along, the guards allowed them to enter, the heavy door falling shut behind them. Oberyn let go of her arm, walking over to a table to pour himself some wine, then offering her a cup.

She took it with a small nod, taking in his quarters. They were richly decorated, the bed massive.

Just how she would imagine it, if she had ever spent time on that before meeting him.

Taking a sip of her wine, Oberyn laid a hand on her waist with a gentle smile, pulling her closer to him.

“Most people stare when they first come here.” He said, his hand wandering up and down her side. “Don’t be nervous, little dove.”

She nodded, swallowing hard. That was easier said than done, the heat inside her becoming unbearable at this point.

His hand on her side felt like it was burning her, even through the thin fabric of her gown. Like it was hot coals placed on her.

“Have you ever been kissed, my dove?” He asked suddenly, eyes searching hers. Pulling her just a little closer to him.

She shook her head no, slowly. Heart beating in her throat, he was so close to her. 

She could feel the warmth of him, twirling the cup of wine in her hand.

“Would you allow me to?”

There was some hesitation inside her, her hands stilling. Should she allow him to? She wanted to, somehow.

Often had she imagined what it felt like, kissing someone.

Her answer came in the form of a nod, her head barely moving.

Oberyn smiled, his hand coming up to cup her cheek.

“Oh, my little dove.”

Despite his growing desire, he moved gently, bending down to place his lips onto hers. The small gasp that left her made him chuckle, his other hand coming to rest on her hip and pull her hips flush against his.

She stiffened beneath his touch, liking the way his lips felt on hers, surprisingly soft, while his beard and moustache tickled her skin. Holding onto her cup tightly, she closed her eyes, humming when he deepened the kiss and she tried to match his movements, clumsy and inexperienced.

When he parted from her, she chased after him, opening her eyes when she couldn’t. Oberyn laughed at that, staying close to her, his thumb brushing over her cheek.

She looked adorable, the way she greedily breathed in air, lips slightly parted. Still too nervous, too stiff.

“What do you think, my dove?” He asked, leaning closer again so their noses were almost touching. “Would you like for me to show you more? There is quite an array of things I could assist you with.”

His fingers curled into her hip, and when she nodded, he only smiled wider.

“I promise to be gentle, my dove. A beauty such as you needs to be handled with care.”

She didn’t know what he meant, but it didn’t matter, because as soon as he kissed her again, more eager this time, her mind went blank.

His hand briefly left her hip to take the cup from her hands, placing it on the table next to them, before it was back, pulling her against his chest and making her gasp.

Letting his tongue glide against hers at the opportunity, Oberyn heard her muffled moan, relishing in the sweet sound.

The way she tried to kiss him back was delightful, so tender and new, trying to keep up with him.

Slowly he manoeuvred her back towards the bed, having to hold onto her waist as her steps became unsure, stumbling backwards once, her cheeks glowing even hotter.

The throbbing only became more intense, and when they reached the bed and he gently pushed her to sit at the foot of it, she squeezed her thighs together, looking for relief.

There was a wetness now that felt foreign to her.

Oberyn noticed, amused at the display.

“Are you aching, my dove?” He asked, his hands coming to the belt tied around his waist.

Aching.

It did hurt, but in a different way. Not like a bruise or a cut.

She nodded. “A little. My Prince- Oberyn, what- I don’t understand what is happening.”

Poor thing. Her parents had done a horrible job to prepare their daughter.

To leave her in the dark at such an age.

She watched him undo his belt, letting it fall to the floor before motioning for her to move further back to the middle of the bed.

“You’re aroused, my dove. You feel the need for cock.” He explained, shedding his robe, then crawling over her. “Have you seen a cock before, little dove?”

Her mouth went dry as she watched him undress, now only clad in a dark orange tunic and his breeches. 

Aroused.

Of course. But was she really aroused by him? In need of his cock?

She nodded, and she could see a flash of surprise grace his features. 

“In the bathhouses, yes.” She tried to hold his gaze, now hovering over her and letting his hand glide down her side. “From afar.”

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss her cheek, then her neck, hearing the breathy moan spill from her lips, feeling her back arch slightly.

“In the bathhouses…” He repeated in a whisper, still some amusement in his voice. “Yet you don’t know a thing about this… about desire and fucking.”

The word felt vulgar, so close to her ear.

And she felt embarrassed again. That she didn’t know more, that she didn’t understand she was aroused just by him being near her, by him kissing her, by him hovering over her.

“Do you want me to show you, my dove? The thrill of desire?” He asked, still mouthing along her neck, gently, just feeling her as she squirmed, her own hands coming to rest on his broad shoulders. “How to fuck?”

Her breath hitched in her throat when he sucked at the junction of her neck and shoulder, a throaty moan leaving her.

“I- I do not know, Oberyn.” She stammered, fingers digging into his shoulders. The throbbing and the pressure were distracting her, just needing relief. “It hurts, it really hurts.”

His hand moved lower, down her side and to her thigh, gathering her skirts before it dipped below them.

“I can help you, my dove.” His hand wandered between her thighs, finding her dripping already, a soft sound escaping him at the feeling. “Oh, my dove. Wet and gushing like a waterfall and I have barely touched you.”

He sounded pitying almost, his fingers slipping between her folds, raising his head to watch her face when he found her clit.

A hiss left her, looking at him with wide eyes at the foreign feeling. It felt good, strange but good.

“Have you never touched yourself before? Brought yourself to the peak of pleasure?” He asked, drawing slow circles into her clit, with featherlight touches. 

She shook her head, trying to keep her eyes open, her legs opening further.

“Never, I didn’t know-”

“You poor thing.” He cooed, kissing her. 

When his fingers left her again, she whined in protest, one of her hands reaching out to grab his wrist. 

She didn’t even really know what was happening, simply that his touch felt good and that she wanted more.

Needed more.

The burning sensation inside her was so consuming and overwhelming while also hurting her.

“Oberyn, please, continue.” She said, guiding his hand back down but he escaped her grasp. 

“Do you know anything about this, my dove? About fucking, the feeling of something stretching you open? Feeling somebody’s naked skin against yours?”

Stretching her open? It sounded painful, she couldn’t imagine how anything could do that, and where.

But she didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to embarrass herself further.

She shook her head again. “No, I don’t.”

He chuckled, his hand coming up to tug one of the straps of her gown down her shoulder, then further down her arm, exposing her breast.

“My little dove, so innocent, so pure.” A sigh left him, watching her face as he touched her breast, just lightly brushing over the hardened nipple. Nothing could have prepared him for just how much her innocence spurred him on. “I will take care of you, just allow me to do so.”

“Please, please, Oberyn.” She whined, desperate. His hand felt good on her, back arching off the bed and into his touch, her head thrown back as she closed her eyes.

This was what she had missed out on, something so good and intense. If only he could touch her again.

Slowly Oberyn undressed her, slipping the garment down her body and kissing each inch of newly uncovered skin. Taking in how she whined and moaned, took in a sharp breath or hissed at the sensation.

She felt exposed, once he sat back and pulled the gown down her legs, his dark eyes raking over her naked form as she laid before him, resisting the urge to cover herself.

So sweet and pure. And he would be the one to ruin her, to taint her beautiful body.

Thank the Gods it was him and not someone else.

“So pretty.” He said, a hand gliding up and down her thigh, the other working open his tunic. “My little dove, all for me to enjoy. I shall show you the heights of pleasure.”

She watched as he shed the garment, exposing his toned torso, the muscles under his skin moving. She was mesmerized, despite having seen this so many times at the bathhouses, when she came to find her siblings or her parents.

His hands moved down to his breeches, opening them just as slowly as he had done with the rest of his clothing.

“It seems as if my little dove has found something she likes.” He chuckled, shedding the last piece of clothing, kneeling between her spread legs, just as exposed as she was.

Cock heavy and throbbing, her eyes were fixed on it.

It was bigger than what she had seen before. But she didn’t know if she should mind that.

“Don’t be scared, my dove.” Oberyn said, moving to hover over her again, one hand on her thigh, his cock brushing against her stomach. “I’ll prepare you to take me.”

“Take me?” She asked, gasping when his hand found that sweet spot again, applying more pressure this time and leaving her breathless.

He hummed against her neck, kissing and sucking on her skin, taking in her sweet sounds.

So adorable, needing to be taught. Not knowing what pleasures awaited her.

His hand moved lower and he felt how she stiffened when one finger pressed against her hole.

“Don’t be scared…” He repeated, slowly pushing a single digit in, groaning when he felt her squeeze around him, her nails digging into his shoulders with a whine.

It felt strange, his thick finger inside of her, moving in and out slowly. Yet it also felt good, her hips rolling on their own, legs opening wider.

“Oberyn-” She moaned, voice breaking, the pressure inside her easing just a little. 

His mouth found hers again, continuing to move his finger slowly, his cock twitching at the thought of burying himself inside her soon.

“Tell me how it feels, little dove. You might be ready for another finger soon.”

She whined, concentrating on the foreign feeling, the stretch when he pushed a second finger in.

“It feels good, my Prince- Oberyn.” She breathed, her mind feeling as if it was floating on a cloud, hissing when he scissored his fingers inside of her. “It hurts a little, but it feels good.”

He chuckled, kissing her cheek and down to her jaw, then down her neck again.

“My dove, you feel splendid, gripping my fingers so tight with your sweet cunt.”

Something inside her built, blood hot like molten metal as it rushed through her, building her higher and higher until he took his fingers from her again.

A noise of protest died in her throat, his teeth softly sinking into her shoulder.

He grinned at that, lifting his head to look at her, bringing his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean with a deep hum.

“Finer than any wine.” Oberyn said, positioning himself so his cock was lined up with her. “My dove, I promise to be gentle. It may sting nonetheless.”

She nodded, drowsy and wanting nothing more than this ache to end. He said his cock would help, and so she wished for nothing more than him to enter her where his fingers just had been.

“Please, help me relieve this ache.” She said, feeling him against her, so much thicker than his fingers.

Oberyn watched as he entered her, grunting at how tight she still was, seeing her eyes squeeze shut and take a sharp breath.

It stung, he hadn’t lied about that, his lips finding hers as he pushed in further, muffling her whimpers while he buried inch after inch inside of her.

All the way until he was fully sheathed inside of her, hips flush against hers, one of his hands coming to rest on her thigh, squeezing it gently.

“It hurts, Oberyn.” She breathed when he broke from her, looking back at him, his lips on her cheek again.

“I know, my dove. You will feel better soon, don’t you worry.”

It was so new, the sensation of being filled, of him inside of her and stretching her out just as he had said.

Overwhelming, someone being so close to her, inside of her, his hot skin against hers, his soft lips on her cheeks.

The pain slowly fading into a need, the throbbing returning, as did the pressure.

Her hips moving on their own, making him chuckle, the sound vibrating against her chest. 

“Are you sure you wish to continue already, my dove?” He asked, kissing a spot just below her ear that sent a shiver through her. “I cannot stop myself if we do, your cunt is simply too tight and inviting.”

She nodded, whispering a silent please.

So he slowly pulled back, setting a lazy rhythm of shallow thrusts, her dragged out moans like music to his ears, a little symphony written just for him as he drove back into her over and over again.

“You feel perfect, my dove, what an honour to teach you about the pleasures of the flesh.” Oberyn groaned, his hands grabbing her legs and wrapping them around his hips, making her whimper loudly. “You won’t find a nicer cunt than that of this little virgin dove.”

She let him move, rolling her hips, trying to meet his thrusts, that something inside her building again, becoming stronger this time.

If this really was what she had been missing out on, what she had been ridiculed for, she never wanted it to stop now that she had it.

The feeling pleasant as the ache became less and less present.

Oberyn had to hold back to not just drive into her with his entire force, losing himself in how good she felt, but still wanting this to be something good for her, as much as he desired her.

Already knowing he would seek her out again and again, her innocence far from gone, her sounds so sweet in his ears, her hands so soft as they grabbed at him, trying to find purchase on his body.

“My dove, you are close, I can feel you.” He rasped, his movements becoming sloppier, lips dancing over her skin. “You’re close, aren’t you?”

“Close to what?” She asked, words catching on her breath, feeling something but unsure if it was what he meant.

Gods, she was so adorable.

“Oh, you will see, my dove.”

His hand moved between them, finding her clit.

And with just a few movements, something snapped inside of her so suddenly and with such force that all breath left her, a strangled noise catching in her chest as her veins burned, the pressure in her abdomen released. 

She was trembling, holding him against her tightly as he kept moving, thrusts harsher now.

“There you are, my little dove, isn’t that wonderful? The heights, the peak?”

It was a pretty sight, her face contorted in bliss and pleasure but also so shocked by what was happening to her, by these new feelings.

She could only whine, falling silent when she heard him grunt deeply into her ear, stilling above her.

Spilling himself deep inside of her before rolling off of her, not separating but rolling her with him so she came to rest on top of him.

She felt exhausted suddenly, the euphoric feelings still coursing through her veins.

And he felt solid beneath her body, catching his breath just as she did, his hands carding through her hair.

“Now, my dove, how do you feel?” He asked, watching her face as she rested on him. “Are you satisfied?”

If anyone had told her just a few hours ago that she would land in the bed of the Prince of Dorne, she would have laughed at them.

But now, it seemed quite nice.

She nodded. “I feel exhausted, but I am very grateful for what you showed me.”

A smile stretched her lips wide, he liked it. She seemed to be less nervous.

He chuckled, one hand wandering down to smooth over her back. Normally he would be far from done, already planning another round of pleasure.

But she truly seemed too exhausted by this. After all, she hadn’t even known about any of this until now.

Her eyes drifted shut, but she was still awake, listening to his heartbeat.

“Oh, my dove.” He said quietly, kissing the top of her head. “There is so much more to show you, I am far from done with you.”

She felt warm at the idea, curious what else there was to discover. Her eyes felt too heavy to open them again, slowly drifting off into sleep on top of him.

Oberyn simply smiled, sighing deeply.

Yes, he was far from done. 

There was so much to learn, so much to discover.

And he couldn’t wait to see her face once he began to truly teach his little dove.

[sweetbans29]

Warming Up - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Hesitation

Summary: Part 2 to the Hesitation series...you're welcome. You finally let Caitlin take you out on that date but it just so happens to be in New York...

Warnings: Caitlin being cute with Carson, Caitlin being in love with you - all the norms

Word Count: 3k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I have heard the demand and I am offering you a MINI series. With that being said, it will be 3 parts with several blurbs attached. Also i'm using current events but in the future.

"I still don't know about this," you say as you board the small charter plane. The slow you wanted seemed to be moving very fast as the first date that Caitlin asked you out on was a trip to New York.

To be fair, you had hesitated a lot when she asked you initially. That is how Caitlin knew if she did all the right things, you and Carson would be joining her on this trip. If you had shut it down hard, she wouldn't have pushed as hard as she had.

"Too late Mommy!" Carson yells as he runs into the plan and takes the first seat he sees. It swallows him up and you can't help but smile.

You have taken Carson on several trips before, a luxury you grew up with and wanted to make sure Carson was also able to experience. But traveling in a private charter was something you would have never expected to be able to do.

"You don't have to know about this, I got it," Caitlin says as she places her hand on your lower back to guide you to the seat behind Carson. You watch as one of the attendants swivels Carson's chair to face you. You smile when you see how Carson's face lit up when he realized he would be sitting backwards.

Caitlin can see how your body eases when you see Carson's excitement. She wants to reach over and hold your hand but decides against it. She has been wanting to touch you since that night on your porch.

The trip to New York wasn't all for fun, Caitlin knew she had some business to take care of but knew that it would be 100x better than if she were doing it alone. When Caitlin found out that she was asked to make an appearance at the Yankee's double header is what sparked her to ask you and Carson to join. It helped when she had learned that Carson was a Yankee's fan and you had a hard time saying no to Carson.

The plane ride is short and the three of you color and play games. When you land in New York, you all head to the hotel. Caitlin made sure that there was a second room for you and Carson, right next to hers of course. Even went to the extent of making sure there was a door connecting the rooms, not that Caitlin was expecting anything to happen.

You and Carson part ways with Caitlin and head into your room. You put all your stuff down and watch as Carson runs to the curtains to see the view. You sit on the bed and Cason runs up to you.

"This is the best trip we have ever been on," Carson says.

"Ya? Better than going to California last summer?" You ask reminding him of the beaches he begged to go back to for weeks after getting back from the trip.

"Ya!" He says with pure excitement.

"Hey Carson," you say as you bring him to sit on the bed with you. "I need you to tell me something okay?"

He settles down and looks at you.

"Are you okay if Caitlin starts coming around more often?" You ask Carson.

"More Clarky?" Carson asks thinking about it for a second.

"Ya, what do you think about that?" You ask.

"I like Clarky!" He says with a smile. "More Clarky."

"I like Clarky too," you say and hug your little boy.

"Does that mean we can go on more adventures with Clarky?" Carson asks.

"It's a possibility," you say and fix his hair.

He nods and runs to the connecting door giving it a small knock. After a few moments, the door opens and Carson is met by Caitlin.

"Hey Little Man!" She says. Carson immediately hugs her legs.

"More Clarky!" He says and Caitlin laughs.

"Are you guys hungry? I was thinking we could go out to do some exploring," Caitlin says and Carson yells 'yes' while Caitlin looks up at you and you give her a smiling nod.

The three of you go out and find a small little local spot to eat. The time is sweet and fun. Caitlin spoils Carson to treats which earns a scold from you but she doesn't care, she thinks it's almost cuter than Carson. The night ends with Carson falling asleep on the ride back. You carry him up to your room and Caitlin asks if you wanted to come to hers to hang out.

"I don't know," you say standing in the doorframe between her room and yours.

"What is the worst that could happen?" Caitlin asks with a little smile.

"Well I can think of a few things," you say.

"What if I promise to stay on my side of the bed," she asks and you ponder the idea.

"Okay, I will come in if you stay on your side of the bed," you say as you follow her in. She does as she says and sits on one side of the bed. You sit on the other side.

"So how would you feel about me taking you out tomorrow after the game?" Caitlin asks.

"What about Carson?" You ask.

"I have a sitter lined up and it is one that I know is trusted," she says.

You sit there and think about it. Caitlin doesn't rush you.

"Okay," you say not caring to elaborate more.

"Okay?" She asks trying to calm her excitement.

"Okay," you say again. "What did you have in mind?"

"Well it's a surprise," she says with a smug smile.

You raise your eyebrow at her.

"You are just going to have to wait and see," she says proud of herself.

You nod respecting her decision to not tell you. You don't push it but have another idea in mind. As the two of you continue to talk, you slowly slide closer to her.

Slowly leaning in, you stop right before your lips connect with hers. She leans in trying to meet you but your hand on her chest holds her in place.

"Nuh-uh," you say. "What do you have planned for our date?" Your eyes are on her lips as you speak causing Caitlin's breath to shallow.

"I told you, it's a surprise," she says with a gulp, her eyes also looking down at your lips.

"Just tell me a little," you says as you place a soft kiss on her jawline, then another one on the top of her neck. She moans at the feeling of your lips on her skin.

Caitlin is lost in the feeling of you and doesn't respond. One of her hands finds your waist while the other settles on your arm.

"Tell me Cait," you whisper into her ear as you gently suck on her earlobe. She lets out a whimper and tries to get any sort of coherent thought out.

"Dinner," she says. Her eyes closed as all her other senses heighten at your touch. You drive her wild.

"Just dinner?" You ask sweetly as you move over her and straddle her. Both of her hands have been dying to feel the skin under your shirt again, she takes no time moving them there. Your bring your hands so her wrists as you guide her hands up and down your torso.

"Gonna spoil you," she gets out. Your lips are putting in work on her neck. Occasionally drifting down to her collar bone and sucking a little harder. "Get you anything you want."

You smile against her skin. Your lips still haven't touched hers yet and if you had it your way, they wouldn't.

You slowly crawl down her, leaving a trail of kisses over her shirt but all down her body until you are at the edge of the bed. You stand and make your way to the connecting door before looking back at her. Her hungry eyes, dilated pupils and breaths uneven.

You had played her. Teased the answer right out of her and she just let you.

"You are going to be the death of me," she says as she moves to get up and follow you but you put your hand up.

"Not my fault you are so easily swayed," you say and Caitlin completely ignores your hand. She makes her way to you, her hands coming to cup your face.

She looks into your eyes and the shine with something more than just lust. Before you can say anything she is crashing her lips into yours earning a moan from you which only wants her to keep you there longer.

After giving in to Caitlin, you finally push her away. Both of you needing the air being sucking into your lungs.

"I need to change up our date now," she says, her hand cupping your face still.

"You don't," you say. "I like what you have planned."

"Nope, you know now so I have to make it even better," she says. She leans down to give you a quick little peck then separates herself from you. She knows if she were to do anything more, you wouldn't be heading back to your room.

"Whatever you say," you say with a smile. "Goodnight Caitlin."

"Goodnight," she says to you before you close the door.

The next day is a busy one but none of you would have it any other way. You are currently at the Yankee's game where Caitlin's team has set up her to be on the field and meet some of the team. She made sure the arrangements included you and Carson.

When you first got there, you were all greeted and handed badges. Carson's hung low which Caitlin helped fix, warming your heart. The three of you headed to the field and Caitlin was greeted with fans. She signed some autographs while Carson was greeted by some of the players who were finishing their warm up. It was really sweet to watch.

Caitlin comes back over to the two of you and hands Carson a baseball. You stand and watch as the two of them play catch. As you do, you can't help but think about the 'what if's'. You think about how this could be a normal for the three of you. Not necessarily going to baseball games but watching Caitlin and Carson playing catch.

"Mommy! Watch this," Carson yells as he sets up to throw the ball to Caitlin. He throws it perfectly to Caitlin and turns to see your reaction with a wide smile on his face.

"That was great baby," you say with a smile.

The three of you head to your seats after spending some time on the field.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Carson says while he adjusts himself in his seat.

"Okay sweetie, let's go check out the concession stand," you say.

"Can I take him?" Caitlin asks.

"Clarky!" Carson yells with excitement.

"Are you sure?" You ask, hesitant letting them go without you.

"I wanna go with Clarky," Carson says already out of his seat and holding Caitlin's hand.

"I got him," she says. She can see your hesitation. "But if you would like to join, you are always welcome."

"No, you two can go. Just bring me back some nachos," you say and look at Carson.

"You do not leave Caitlin's side okay?" You tell Carson and he nods. He begins pulling Cait from their seats and up the stairs. It makes you more comfortable when you see Caitlin's security follow them.

You sit and wait for them to come back, when they do - Carson is holding a hot dog while Caitlin looks to have 5 things in hers. She has two drinks, two hot dogs and your nachos.

"What did you guys clean them out?" You joke at them and Carson says no with a laugh.

The three of you snack and watch the game, Carson having the time of his life. When the game is over, the three of you decide to grab some ice cream and then head back to the hotel. When you get back, you are surprised with who is already in her room.

"Hi mom," Caitlin says as she goes to hug her.

"Hi baby, it's good to see you," she says.

Caitlin turns to you and introduces you to her mom.

"Hi there," you say with a smile and she pulls you in for a hug.

"Oh it is so good to meet you," she says giving you a nice squeeze.

"You as well," Anne says. "I have been looking forward to meeting you for weeks."

You turn to look at Caitlin because you only confirmed a week ago that you and Carson would be joining her on this trip. Cait just smiles and shrugs.

"And you must be Carson," Anne says as she crouches down to shake his hand. He is hiding behind your legs but reaches out his hand to shake hers.

"Carson," you begin but Anne waves to you signaling it is okay. She turns to look at Carson.

"I am Caitlin's mom," Anne says and Carson peaks his head out.

"Clarky's mom?" He says softly. Anne nods and smiles.

"You want to know what Caitlin loved when she was your age?" Anne asks and Carson nods. "Chocolate chip cookies."

Carson's eyes light up," I love chocolate chip cookies!" He is now fully out from behind you and is following Anne to the half kitchen in Caitlin's room.

Caitlin nods over to your room and you follow her over. Once the two of you are alone, you turn to her.

"Weeks?" You ask her. She shrugs like she did the first time you looked at her on the matter.

"I've been planning this for longer than you know," she says.

"You're unbelievable," you say. "And your mother??? It would have been nice to know. I didn't now we were in the meet the parents stage."

"She has been asking to meet you ever since she saw pictures of me bringing Carson on the floor," Caitlin says.

You shake your head.

"It isn't a big deal," she says. But in your mind it is.

"But it is," you say. "Going on trips, meeting parents - this all seems really fast."

Caitlin can see how stressed this has made you. She kneels down in front of where you were now sitting on your bed and brings your hands into hers.

"I'm sorry," she says and you sigh. "I told you that we will take this slow and I know these last few weeks have been fast. But I have no intention of going anywhere. This weekend is suppose to be fun and I believe it still can be. I asked my mom to come out because I know knew you wouldn't want to leave Carson with just anyone so I brought out the best. I wouldn't have brought her out if I wasn't serious about you. Us."

You look into Caitlin's eyes and can see the sincerity. You lean your forehead on hers, eyes closed.

"You are unbelievable," you say for the second time but in a completely different tone causing Caitlin to smile.

"You should get ready, we need to be out of here in 20," Caitlin says as she parts from you.

You get ready and tell Anne everything she needs to know about putting Carson down. She repeats everything back to you perfectly and Carson is too entertained by the chocolate chips to be phased by you leaving. You kiss his head and he waves.

Once Caitlin has you out the door, she can't stop smiling.

"What?" You say with a smile of your own.

"Just excited to have you all to myself," she says.

First Caitlin takes you to a cute little Italian restaurant where the two of you talked over dinner. Dinner is followed by an evening walk through the park. You expect the night to be done but she has one more place she is taking you before back to where you are staying.

You yawn trying to not get too sleepy.

"We are almost there," Caitlin says as the car pulls up to the final stop.

You both exit and you look up. Caitlin stands next to you holding your hand and looks at you.

"Of course," you say.

Caitlin smiles.

"This is nice but I don't think it is open," you say and Caitlin leads you to the door.

Right as you approach the door, it opens and you are greeted by an older man.

"Ms. Clark and company, welcome to the Empire State Building," the man says. Your excitement is now visible on your face as the man leads you over to the elevator.

The three of you head up. Once reaching the 82nd floor, you were ready to make your way out but the doors just open and close and you continue up to the 102nd floor.

You step out and are in awe. Caitlin watches you as you step out and take in the sight before you. You aren't huge on big cities but seeing New York from this vantage point had anyone falling in love with it.

Caitlin lets you look around before coming behind you and wrapping her arms around you.

"I don't know how you are going to top this when we get back to Indy," you say as your hands come to rest on her arms.

"Does that mean there will be a second date," she teases.

"Only if you want," you respond, too in awe of the sight still to care about Caitlin's sass.

"It's the only thing I want," she says softly in your ear. You smile.

"I'm sorry for going at you earlier. You didn't deserve that," you say.

"No no no, don't apologize," she says.

You lean back into Caitlin, loving the feeling of being held by her. You turn to face her.

"i think I like you," you say smiling.

"Ya?" Caitlin says softly, bringing her hand to come up to tuck your hair behind your ear.

You nod and lean in to kiss her.

AN: You series is here. Let me know what you think about this second part! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

[mattsdolll]

𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥? - 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 . . friends with benefits? not really. was it casual when matt kissed you with no strings attached? was it casual when you were tangled in each others bedsheets every night without apprehension? was it casual when you were in love? and nobody even knew. angst with a happy ending !!, i tried to write this with as dramatic as possible cus😁 pls pretend the header matches the fic

"dream of us in a year , maybe we'd have an apartment"

2.1k words

enjoy🤍

you dreaded the day this would happen, it was bound to. you fell hard and fast. pathetically, you were infatuated by him. you stirred out of your unconsciousness, staring at the cracked ceiling paint, you were supposed to fix that months ago, he was supposed to fix it with you. that emptiness in your heart was something only he ever fulfilled. warm summer nights faded into grey snowy evenings, alone in your bed. you hated it, but you could never hate him.

his lips pressed into yours gently, his touch tender. he worked his way down to your neck, evoking a gasp from you. he had such a way of putting you in a lovesick daze, it was sickening. you watched the boy prod and push his lips into your flesh admiringly, you marveled at his features. he pulled his head out of your neck, staring down at you lovingly. he smiled sheepishly, causing you to chuckle. he always had this stupid smile on his face when he was with you, like a little kid at a toy shop. it didn't last long, though.

you scrolled through your messages, tears running down your cheeks as you re-read old texts from him.

9:43am. "I love you soo much, I hope you have the best day ever, can't wait to take you to the beach later, the ocean brings out your eyes a lot"

you threw your phone down on your bed, a teary mess. your mascara flooded from your clamped eyelashes, spilling down your cheeks. you couldn't take this heartbreak, it was killing you. that day, he brought you to the beach knowing how much you adored it. you played in the waves like you would do as a child. he brought out the best in you. he watched the sunset with you, he kissed you. your gaze was fixed upon the sky as you watched the sun slowly begin to set, the sky lit orange and pink. when the sun went down, he was looking at you. he tilted your jaw to face him and mouthed a soft "i love you" before connecting your lips. you kissed him back with just as much pressure.

you ended up making out under the sunset for ages, his hands firmly on your waist as he brought you on his lap. he didn't want sex, he didn't want anything, he just wanted to be with you, to hold you close. he loved you so deeply he couldn't even view you under a lustful gaze. that night he took you home, he washed your hair for you, brushed it out and made you dinner. did i mention it was casual? you felt sick to your stomach at the thought of it.

the same boy who used to wipe your tears when you cried, the same boy who comforted you when things were rough at home, was the same boy who drifted furthest from you. it was momentary, it wasn't healthy at the time. you weren't ready for a relationship, you didn't know how to love. he sat you down one night on your bed, explaining how he felt. the words still lingered in your thoughts, bleeding into your once fond memories of him.

"listen, i don't know what we are, okay? i like you, a lot. i don't wanna lose you sweet girl but i can't be all you have, you need to rely on other things to make you feel better, 's not healthy..i know its hard, but we need to take a break, find yourself, go out and see the world f'me, yeah? i'm gonna find you again, we just need to take things slower."

you hated to admit he was right. you both rushed things and fell too hard. you were too attached. the tears stung your eyes as you barely responded,

"i know, i know, i can't keep running to you for every little problem i just- things are really hard, i'm gonna get better, okay? promise you'll wait for me?"

"promise."

he promised.

he gave you one last long, emotional hug before cutting contact for months. months.

it had been nearly three months since you'd seen your favorite boy, the grief eating you alive. you wished you'd held that kiss a few seconds longer, held him a little tighter, loved him better. you had to get better, for yourself and for him. you held your phone shaky in your hands, the screen slippery from your tears that leaked from your eyes as you typed. he hadn't blocked you, how could he ever leave you? you typed out a rough paragraph, you felt pathetic. you hit send, sitting anxiously in your bed. it had been too long, you craved his touch. you saw the message say delivered, now you had to wait.

you had felt unwell for weeks, your apartment a mess, dishes crowding the kitchen sink whenever you found the energy to cook for yourself instead of ordering yet again another takeout. you were miserable, to say the least.

your phone lit up, vibrating repeatedly, you scrambled to pick it up, checking your notifications. you almost couldn't believe he'd replied. not that he had a reason not to, it was just nostalgic. you read the notification, a simple message illuminating your screen.

"i can come over in a half hour, is that okay?" you replied with a 'yes' and put the phone down. you instantly began anxiously pacing around your apartment. did he wait? does he still love me? am i good enough for him? the thoughts raced through your head, the only thing snapping you out of them was your doorbell ringing.

you didn't even care how you looked, or if you were in pajamas with messy hair. you nearly stumbled into the door, shakily twisting the gold colored door knob. you were met by his blue iris, his gaze gentle. his hair was a little messy, he clearly rushed out the house. his hair was cut slightly shorter, it framed his face a lot. you exhaled deeply as his arms flew around your waist into a soft embrace. you hugged him back, around his neck. he gently picked you up off the ground, squeezing you against his body. "oh, pretty i missed you."

you felt at peace, he provided a sense of solace that soothed your mind. you hadn't felt this comforted in months, gently holding him closer. matt didn't try to kiss you, touch you, or anything. he just went straight for a hug, it was all he needed and he knew it was the same for you. some would consider it toxic, how you'd called him after nearly half a year of no contact, but today you could barely even hold yourself together, you needed him to hold you and tell you everything was going to be okay.

matt knew you struggled with severe anxiety, worse than his. your brain would spiral and it would become unbearable to the point you couldn't even speak. he would sit you down, hold you in his embrace and soothe your thoughts. you couldn't go a day without having yet another flare up or panic attack, it only worsened when he left. you choked up slightly at the feel of his touch, he gently walked you to your room, still hugging you.

"look at you" he mumbled to himself, he didn't find your disheveled state unattractive or ugly, instead he found this side of you perfect. it was natural, it was human. he felt some sort of awe knowing that you only went to him in times like these, that you had created such a safe space with him, no matter what terms you were on. maybe you weren't together or sneaking into each other windows anymore, you never really were together, anyways. but there was still so much love. he sighed to himself, laying you down in bed and getting in next to you, wrapping an arm gently around your shoulder. it killed you that it wasn't skin to skin, cuddling, his head in your neck, but then again you couldn't expect that of him, right?

wrong.

he tugged you on top of his chest, snuggling into your neck since he knew you hated people touching your hair. he made sure to drape the blanket over you just the way you liked it. you gazed up at him. "why are you doing this for me? i don't get it" he chuckled. how could you? "you think i don't know how you are by now? i know you, pretty." pretty. that nickname was your favorite, it was your favorite because only he got to call you that. he stared at you lovingly, not with lust or desire, with pure adoration and innocence. he was the embodiment of gentleness.

"i left you, matt. i threw away everything we had." you choked out, tears instantly forming in your eyes. he wiped them instantly, shushing you. "shh,and i don't care, okay? that doesn't change how i feel about you, i know it was for the best..i forgive you, i'm not mad at you, you're allowed to feel, okay?" you nearly shattered then and there. after all this time, he still loved you despite everything. "i left you too, remember? it's not your fault i love you." he whispered, comforting your cries.

he placed a soft gentle kiss to the crown of your head. were you ready for this? were you "better"? you weren't sure, but you wanted his presence, his sweet touch. you desperately craved him. your love for matt ran deeper than the cells beneath your skin, you could never hate him, more so you had a particular illusion of hatred toward yourself.

a now familiar warmth filled your chest as he clasped your frame in his arms, he stroked his hands up and down your back as you erupted into a fit of sobs. nothing about this was casual to you nor him, you practically dated, just without a label. you only began calming down after nearly half an hour.

"you're okay, i'm sorry." he whispered. how was he sorry? he had nothing to be sorry for, it was your fault, you hated yourself for this very reason. matt didn't see you that way. he never perceived you the way the rest of the world did. he saw something special in you that not even you could see. "i hate that i let this drag on so long, i wish i never walked away." you whispered, a soft almost plea for him to forgive you. he grasped your chin, bringing your lips to his. you eased into his mouth, melting together. the kiss was much softer than anything you had before with him. no, he was never rough with you, he wouldn't dream of it, but something about this was so consolatory.

"you know what? fuck this, yeah? let's start over, you and me, pretty. we can forget everything and start again" he mumbled, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. you thought over what he said, honestly it wasn't a terrible idea. it was methodical, however you couldn't just forget everything, the smiles and laughs, the sobs and sorrows, every single second spent together with matt felt like an eternity. you put your thoughts aside, nodding your head. he didn't mean to forget, just to forgive and take a step forward.

"yeah? you wanna?" he beamed, giggling softly. oh how you missed that smile. you nodded once again, causing him to launch on top of you, smothering you in kisses.

"gosh pretty i missed you—missed this" he murmured against your flesh. you were one again, body and soul. you were filled by that familiar sense of relief, you missed him more. you laid tangled between the sheets for what felt like decades, just holding each other, talking. you loved him, things couldn't get more perfect.

or could they?

just a few months later, you found yourself in his bed. you had moved out of your shitty apartment, and into his small place near the beach. the air was crisp, salty. you crawled out of bed, making a cup of coffee, you could just be. you spent your days with matt, bathing in sunlight, your life was enliven.

you sat on the porch, watching the waves. matt scurried out of the house, eager to sit with you. he placed your drinks down—two glasses of wine. he snuggled up next to you, his head resting on your chest. you draped a shabby throw-over atop your bodies, leaning against him.

"so pretty, so so pretty" he mumbled softly, as you were staring out at the sunset before you, he was looking at you. you diverted your attention to him with a small smile, leaning down to press a small kiss to his wine stained lips.

just mere weeks ago you both would dream of times like these. you were finally happy.

. . .

tags !

@mattscoquette @blahbel668 @emely9274 @pearlzier @wompwomp-1 @bernardsgfs @sturnsxplr-25 @jetaimevous @aesthetixhoe @alyrasturnz @adorsturns @cvntytiger

[dilemmaontwolegs]

*calmly*

Bestie, I'm gonna need Logan to invite Alex and Lily over to Florida for a big Sargeant family Thanksgiving 🙊

Thanksgiving in the 305 || LS2 {3}

Pairing: Logan Sergeant x fem!reader Summary: You have lots to be thankful this holiday and get to share the special occasion with even more people this year. Warnings: 18+ only, implied smut, fluff, lots of fluff WC: 3.4K F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four

Monday, 20th November 2023 You had just walked through hell and it had been an absolute nightmare. By hell, you meant Walmart during the week of Thanksgiving. With another point scored on home soil Logan’s popularity seemed to explode overnight and the shopping trip had taken longer than expected after he signed some autographs and took photos with fans. Shopping wasn’t something you enjoyed on the quietest of days but knowing the amount of food prep you needed to do only left you more stressed.

“Relax, honey,” Logan soothed as he rubbed your shoulders with a smile. “We can do this. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

You eventually made it to the checkout with two laden trolleys and Logan did all the heavy lifting of the bags into the back of his Range Rover. Unfortunately you lost more precious prep time to the traffic that swarmed the city and the stress had you wringing your hands together until Logan took one in his.

“Sweetheart, I think you might be going a little overboard.”

You looked up from the pastry you were rolling out to weave into a lattice topping for the pumpkin pie. “What? No. No, I’m not. This is perfectly acceptable.”

“There’s twice as much as last year,” Logan stated, his lips a shade of deep purple from the berries he had stolen.

“We have more guests this year - special guests too.”

Logan’s lips perked up as he laughed. “I’ll let Dalton know you think he’s not special.”

“That is not what I meant,” you gasped, only forgiving him for the joke when kissed you sweetly. “I’ve never seen your principal outside of the races, or Alex and Lily. I’m nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about. They are exactly the same outside of work.”

You chewed your lip as you nodded, hoping he wasn’t just trying to ease your worry. If he was right then you knew you would get along with them just like you had when you went to the races with Logan. You had been lucky enough to make it to most of his races after the summer break and Sooty even joined for the Triple Header rounds, but he missed out on the Vegas trip. The schedule was just too busy to have a dog in tow.

Since everyone was on the same continent, for the moment, you had invited Logan’s team mate and his team principal to join you for an early Thanksgiving. James was bringing his wife and daughter while Alex was coming with his girlfriend Lily. They had all been so supportive of Logan throughout the year that you wanted to show your appreciation before making your way to the final race in Abu Dhabi.

It was going to be the first year since being with Logan that you wouldn’t be at home on Thanksgiving but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to slack on hosting the event. If anything you were going to make it more special to make up for having it on a Tuesday. 

Logan knew one thing that would help you relax while you were busy in the kitchen and after disappearing into the living room you heard the stereo system click on and Logan’s playlist filled the room. The upbeat intro to Hold On, We’re Going Home started and Logan reached you before Drake’s voice could, his hands finding your hips as he rested his chin on your shoulder and watched you work the dough. 

All too soon he grew bored of just watching and his lips started to tease kisses along your neck. “You need to go for a run,” you murmured as you found your progress slowing. “I can’t concentrate with you doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asked innocently, the curve of his lips on your skin giving him away. 

“Distracting me.”

“But it worked, look how relaxed you are now.” His arms curled around your waist as he swayed to the music and you joined him until his hand dipped beneath your shirt and warmed the soft skin on your stomach. 

“Lo…” you groaned as you pushed him back with your hips. “Behave, please.” 

“Cause you’re a good girl and you know it,” he teased in your ear with the song. “You act so different around me.”

You turned in his arms with a smile that he reflected and placed your palm over his chest. “You are going to ruin Thanksgiving dinner.”

Logan looked around the kitchen, every surface full of the food you just had to make final touches on in the morning. There was already more than enough to feed an army. “I don’t think you have to worry about dinner.” He reached behind you and placed a spare cover over the unfinished pie before pulling you flush against him. “And the pie can wait an hour.”

“An hour? I was thinking 10 minutes max,” you giggled as he grabbed your hips and picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist naturally.

“Is that a challenge?” he dared as he carried you out of the kitchen. “I don’t mind spending the rest of the day proving you wrong, sweetheart.”

“Yes, wait, no, any other time, baby, but not today.”

Tuesday, 21st November 2023 - Thanksgiving Dinner You had never been happier that Logan had insisted on buying a house much larger than anything the two of you needed. Built for a large family, the kitchen had two full sized ovens and both were currently in use. The giant turkey filled one oven on its own and the other had its racks full of different dishes to keep them hot. 

The other great thing about the home was that the stacker doors folded back in the living room to give a massive open space that flowed out into the patio and pool. You needed all that space with the guests that had arrived. Logan’s parents had come first. Mallika had insisted on arriving early so she could help you with the fresh food that couldn’t be pre-cooked and Michael had been ordered to help Logan stock the bar.

Next to arrive had been Dalton, Logan’s older brother, who came with a very happy Sooty after dog-sitting him while you were in Las Vegas. You had rushed out of the kitchen as soon as you heard his excited bark and grappled him into a tight cuddle before Logan wrapped his arms around you both. 

“Hi, my baby,” you cooed as you scratched Sooty’s fur and kissed the top of his head. “Mommy missed you. You’re looking skinny, did uncle Dalt not feed you?” You rose to your feet at the laugh and greeted Dalton with a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“I would say anytime but he stole an Angus steak from my plate, twice.”

“Why do you think I came out here?” you said with a shake of your head. “There is no way I am letting him anywhere near the kitchen. Lo?”

“On it, honey,” he chuckled. “Come on, Soot, let's go play frisbee. You in, bro?”

You watched the brothers jog out to the lawn and separate to opposite ends and it wasn’t long before Michael joined his sons too.

It was another two Sargeant boys that came through the door with Logan’s aunt following with apologies for her son's lack of manners for skipping the doorbell. You waved the apology away as you gave her a hug. “It’s fine, Debbie. My mother always said doorbells are for salesmen and strangers, not family.”

“Your mother is a good woman,” Harry said as he came in with a large bouquet of flowers for you and a kiss. “You are more and more like her every day.”

You grinned at the compliment and inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers. “Thank you.”

When you first met Harry you had felt intimidated by the billionaire but you had quickly realised he was a kind, down-to-earth man who put family values first. It was one of the reasons he sponsored Logan and helped get him into Formula racing. He believed if he had the resources to help, then he had the responsibility to help. It was the same with Dalton’s NASCAR career.

The next arrival did use the doorbell and Sooty came inside to growl at the uncommon sound until you told him to stop being silly. Once the door was opened he recognised it was Alex and Lily on the doorstep and the protective nature changed to the playful wag of his tail. Sooty enjoyed the attention he got from the animal-loving couple for a moment before another duo stole his attention and he leapt off the porch to race down the driveway. 

“Sorry, he saw my parents,” you said as you invited them inside and to the bar. “Now, Logan’s the mixologist in the house so if you want something more than a beer, a wine or whiskey neat then he’s your man.”

Once Lily had a glass of riesling and Alex an IPA beer, you made the introductions to the few members of his family they hadn’t met. Most of them had crossed paths at least once during the three US based Grand Prix’s this season so it was only Harry’s teenage boys and your parents who needed naming. 

“I found some wanderers in your driveway,” your mother joked as she stepped into your line of vision and waved at the quickly growing Vowles family. “Oscar looks different, more mature.”

You looked at Logan’s old teammate who was just walking through the door and chuckled when he took his shoes off, the only one that ever did when he went inside other people's homes. “That’s what a year will do to a man,” you replied. “I don’t think you’ve seen him since last Thanksgiving, mom.”

“Not true, I saw him at Logan’s birthday.”

“Oh, okay, my bad, it's only been 11 months then,” you said with a laugh as you went to greet him and Logan’s team principal. 

“She is absolutely adorable,” you gushed over the newborn in James’ arms. “I swear she’s grown and I only saw her a few days ago!”

“She’s put on another ounce since then,” the proud father said before holding her out to you. “Go on, I know this is what you’re really after.”

“I was just coming over to see if you needed a drink,” you lied as you reached for her, “but I’m not going to turn down baby snuggles.”

Logan’s eyes found you from across the room where he was talking with Alex and Oscar and he lost track of the conversation at the sight of you. The image of you holding a baby so comfortably made something crack in his chest and he knew you would be a natural when it came to motherhood, he just had to be patient for a few more years. You didn’t even notice his lingering stare as you pressed your nose to her soft hair and inhaled the new baby scent before cradling her closer. 

“You know you are not getting her back until you leave,” you warned James, and he just smiled knowingly.

“I had a feeling that would be the case. Now Rachel and I can enjoy a few hours of free babysitting.”

“Absolutely anytime, any place. Go on, have a drink and chill out, or even a nap if you need. There’s plenty of guest rooms down the hall and a nursery too so you have nothing to worry about.”

“A nursery? Is there something Logan hasn’t told me?” he asked curiously.

You laughed as you shook your head. “Not yet, James. The house was furnished for a family sale when we bought it and one of the rooms was set up to be a nursery. We just never renovated it.”

“You two look really happy,” Alex broke through Logan’s wandering thoughts and he blinked twice before he snapped out of the moment.

“We are. She loves this, having a full house, lots of noise and company.” Logan smiled into his bottle as he tipped the cold beer back and watched as you flitted around the room topping up drinks and chatting with his family all the while managing to cradle his boss's baby safely. “Best thing I did was ask her to come with me. Makes the good days better and the bad ones easier, you know?”

Alex nodded sincerely and cast his eyes to Lily who was laughing at something Dalton said to her about his latest round of golf. Alex knew exactly what Logan meant. 

Logan had always been open about wanting children, even more so when he was drunk, and he was always making plans for the future. He hoped to stay in F1 for as long as possible and he was especially happy that he had signed with Williams for another year, but after that he thought about moving into endurance racing as it was a less intensive schedule. With less commitments to work he would have more time to focus on starting a family, so you waited patiently and supported him in his choices after all the hard work you had seen him put in.

You continued on your way around the guests, oblivious to the way Logan’s eyes followed you the entire time. Eventually you  reluctantly passed the sleeping babe over to your boyfriend knowing he would want to have some time with her too and the next part you needed two hands for. “Dinner is almost ready, if you want to start rounding everyone up into the dining room I’ll bring in the turkey.”

“I can come and help, sweetheart,” he offered but his face softened at the cutie in his arms. Your chest warmed at the sight and you shook your head, not wanting to disturb the moment.

“Between my mom and yours, there’s hardly anything left to do.” You left him with Alex and Oscar, passing by Lily and Dalton’s discussion about the best US golf courses, and found Sooty so he could be put in his kennel. You weren’t keen on having a repeat of his first Christmas when he broke the table leg trying to get scraps and the whole thing had crashed down. It had been a disaster that took a while before you could see the funny side but it still didn’t mean you could handle it happening again. “Come on, as soon as dinner is over you can have your freedom back.”

Sooty whined as you left him behind and you didn’t dare look back or you wouldn’t have the heart to leave him there. The sound followed you until you were inside and the noise of the guests swallowed his lonely cries so you could focus on the meal shared between friends and family.

Logan knelt beside the kennel and caught Sooty’s collar as he unhooked the chain and praised him for being a good boy. Dinner had been another one to remember for a long time to come and everyone was more than full as they settled around the extra large sofa inside. Traditionally, after dinner everyone would be feeling the liquor and reminisce on what they were thankful for before watching the Miami Dolphins game on the tv but since it was only a Tuesday there weren't any big teams playing. 

Logan had a better way to end the perfect afternoon anyway.

“Sooty, where’s mommy?” Logan asked as he buckled his collar back in place and kissed the top of his head. “Go find mommy, go on, good boy.” 

The quick moving ball of fur caught your attention and you just saved your glass of wine from being knocked off the coffee table before Sooty bounded over Lily’s shoes and landed at your feet. He barked twice and sat back on his heels, waiting as if he had been ordered to obey and was expecting a treat - except you hadn’t called him.

“Sooty, how did you escape your…” your words trailed off as you held his collar and watched the light catch on a diamond ring. The room fell silent as you looked up in time to see Logan lower himself onto one knee in front of you.

His deft fingers unbuckled the collar and slipped the ring off so he could hold it delicately in his hand. “I don’t need Thanksgiving to reflect on everything I’m grateful for this year,” he said softly and your heart beat so loudly you were certain everyone in the quiet room could hear it. “Since I found you, I’m thankful every damn day, and I would love to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much, if you’ll let me. Will you marry me?”

You couldn’t remember when you last took a breath and your throat seemed to clog with emotion, choking the word you wanted to scream. Logan’s lips began to curve up into a proud smile when you nodded your head and lifted your trembling hand for him. 

“Yes,” you finally managed to whisper, before the cold band slipped onto your ring finger and your vision blurred with unshed tears of joy. 

You didn’t hear the cheer that erupted, you didn’t hear their congratulations. All you heard was Logan whispering he loved you against your lips before he claimed them for the first time as your fiance.

Logan hadn’t let go of your hand since he put the engagement ring on it but eventually he couldn’t keep you all to himself and draped an arm across the back of your seat instead.

“This is gorgeous!” Lily gasped after she leaned forward to inspect the large rock on the ring. You didn’t miss the pointed look she sent Alex and wondered how long it would be until he took the same step. “So how did you two meet if Logan was in Europe racing?”

Logan grinned as he traced his fingertips across your shoulder and over your collar. “Her mom was my uncle’s secretary and when I was home for the break I dropped by his office to visit him, and then I kept dropping in because I knew she was always in the staffroom doing her homework. Not that she ever looked my way.”

“I looked, when you weren’t,” you admitted as your cheeks heated. “But I had to keep my head down so I could actually concentrate on my assignments. He was very distracting to look at, still is.”

Oscar smiled to himself since he already knew the story well over the years of friendship and double dates.

Alex chuckled and mirrored your cosy state with Lily opposite you. “So did he finally ask you out or did you have to take charge?”

“Actually Harry set us up,” you said with a smile in the oil magnate’s direction where he was talking to his wife. “I didn’t have a licence and when my mom got sick Harry had Lo take me to visit her. He went out of his way to pick me up after school every day for like two months. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through that time without him.”

You turned your smile to Logan as he reached for his beer and took a long drink. If you were alone he would have whispered sweet affirmations in your ear about how strong you were and how he would always be there for you but with the present company and his ears turning pink he swallowed his words. But you still saw them in his proud smile and in his blue eyes.

“Okay, maybe I went a teensy, tiny, little bit overboard,” you admitted as you saw the leftovers filling the kitchen island after everyone had gone - the house was quiet once more.

You knew there was the temptation for Logan to say ‘I told you so’ but he just kissed your temple with a smile before he checked his watch and said. “I’ll get the containers.”

Although it was too late to go to Miami-Dade shelters tonight, it had become a tradition to take the leftovers around to them after a holiday. It would only go to waste with the two of you, especially since you were heading to Abu Dhabi in the morning.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” you asked when he returned from the garage with his arms full of takeaway containers.

“Once or twice,” he teased as he abandoned the containers to pull you into his arms, “but I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”

“Good thing we’ve got the rest of our lives then.” You placed your hands on his shoulders and looked at the ring on your finger with fondness before staring into his ocean eyes. “I love you, Lo.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Always have, always will.”

Click here for the next part.

[romanarose]

Please, Mr. Miller?

Header by and the fic dedicated to @sweetlummie . Thank you for supporting this series

Dividers by @anitalenia

DBF!Joel x Reader

Join my taglist : Masterlist

Buy Me A Coffee : Kofi : Go Fund Me

First installment is Yes, Mr. Miller? but all parts can be found on my masterlist <3

Summery: Getting ready for the labor day cookout, you reminisce on Labor day last year when things with Joel began. Ft. your dad surprises you

Warnings: Virginity loss, dirty talk, PIV sex, age gap (legal, reader is over 21 so stfu y'all), size kink, bleeding from sex (I know theres been discourse over the whole bleeding your first time, but I bled soooo. It's a normal thing to happen, don't be embarrassed.) Joel is a bit of a pain slut what can I say, reader scratching Joel enough to make him bleed,

Immersivity: Reader is fem, afab, dresses v hyperfem and cutsie, reader is shorter than Joel and coded that Joel is larger, can carry you.

A/N: My last instalment for this series, the dbf holiday fucks series as I call it, caused a whole hoopla. I didn't do memorial day nor forth of july as planned. I wasn't even going to do any more but then I thought of everyone who supported me and of course my dear Lum, and decided to write one more installment. This will wrap up the series with a happy end for our dear horny bastards <3

Everything needed to be perfect. Joel was coming over for the yearly labor day cookout your dad did to celebrate the end of the summer, and oh what a summer it was!! Joel had made this time after gradating college special, spending time taking you out of town so you could both not worry about getting caught. You even had another threesome with him and Tommy, a time that was extra special now that you belonged to Joel officially.

This wouldn't be your anniversary technically. Labor Day always falls on Monday, but your anniversary was the same date of course. You spent the "anniversary" of the first time Joel and you had sex getting fucked into oblivion at Joel's house. Today was still special, because you and him would always remember Labor Day for this.

As you apply your simple make-up, pink eyeshadow and pink blush and pink lipstick to match the dress you brought over to your dads, you think back on that day.

You had been giving Joel 'fuck me' eyes for months. Ever since him and your dad became friends the last year or so, you can't deny how much you wanted him. The barrier, however, was obvious. He was your dads best friend, and then there was the fact you were a virgin.

Still, your record wasn't exactly lily white. You'd fucked around a bit here and there with boys and girls but that was the problem. They were all just like you, inexperienced. Most were boring, most only focused on what they wanted. You need a grown ass man to teach you, to guide you, to make you cum the way your vibrator could.

Joel was that man. So, you spent months sending signals...

Signals that ended up with you pushed up against your bedroom door that fateful Monday while your dad fell asleep on the couch, his body crowding you with his breath hot against your face.

"You think you are awfully cute, don't you little lady?"

You can't help smile at that. Yes, yes you do think you're cute, thank you.

"You just think you can prance around here in these little skirts and lowcut tops and get me hard like a fucking teenager not have any consiquences?"

Despite his words and harsh tone, when Joel's hand went to your hip his grip was light, letting you know you weren't being trapped.

You look up at him. "I know what I'm about, Mr. Miller."

A small smile appears on his face, and he grind his hips against your stomach, making you feel him growing erection. "You feel what you do to me?" He waits until you nod. "I think it's only right you help me take care of it, don't you? Or do I have to fuck my fist in the shower thinking of your face again?"

"No, Mr. Miller, I think I should help you, but... you have to help me with something..." You trail off, uncertain how he'll take the news.

"And what is that?"

"I'm a virgin..."

With this piece of information, Joel's face softens and he gives you a little more space. He seems like a new person, resting his head on your forehead and you see him cringing a bit.

"Shit darl'n, "m sorry. I was come'n in strong for no fucking reasons"

But you don't want him to feel bad for assuming you weren't a virgin, most people aren't by your age... "No, no don't be sorry! I... I liked it." Joel opens his eyes to look at you, your faces so close together. "i like you being dominate."

That smile again... that damn smile and you knew you were in trouble.

"You want this? You can say no, any time..."

"I do. I really fucking do."

With that, Joel kissed you... and oh what a kiss it was. Joel devoured you like this betrayal of his friendship was sending him to death row and you were his request for a last meal. He kissed you like he was willing to sacrifice it all just for your lips, that committing this sin was worth it just to be the first between your legs. He kissed you like you were his already. Joel never stopped kissing you like that, not even a year into the affair.

He took his time with you, just like you knew he would. This, this is why you trusted Joel Miller with this part of yourself. Your vibrator was at your apartment, but Joel made you cum on his lips, humping the mattress with his arms locked around your shaking legs. Then, he opened you up on his fingers, the thick digits easily maneuvering in and out of your drenched pussy before curling them up and dragging another orgasm out of you.

When Joel finally lined himself up between your legs, your pretty dress still on and the skirt flared out at the bed sheets, he tucked his face to your neck, kissing and nipping softly to not leave and marks. "Are you sure you want this, darl'n? We can stop. I promise."

But you didn't want to stop. No part of you wanted to stop.

You grab at his ass, your done up nails gripping his asscheeks. Your body felt on fire, burning for him and only for him. You knew this could never be a one time things, even before he deflowered you, you were his to keep, his to play with. "Please, Mr. Miller?" You begin to beg for him. "I need your cock, please, please, please? I need it so badly, it's all I want, I need you, only you!"

Joel groaned at the honorific, head dropping down at he began to slid into your tight hole, splitting you open. "Shiiiiiiit baby... s'fucking good... so fucking good."

Your grip on his ass tightened as the pain of being stretched peaked, nails digging in and scrapping him, making him bleed for you as you did for him.

When he's fully seated inside you, Joel plants a little kiss on your lips, humming a little in the back of his throat. "My sweet girl... saved herself just for me, huh?"

"Yes" You lie a little. For the bit. "Wanted you to be my first, Mr. Miller."

He groans, slowly pulling out almost all the way. "Love it when you call me that." then, he thrusts himself completely into you, pounding your pussy as the gentle uh, uh, uh's begin to fill the room in time the the pleasure he brings you.

"Shhhhh princess," Joel's nose nuzzles your cheek. "Gotta be quiet, remember? Can't have your daddy finding out you let his friend deflower his little girl, hm?"

You whimper at that, the secrecy, the naughty air adding to the sin happening in your old bedroom as he thrust again and again and again until you're unable to keep quiet anymore. The pleasure is too great, too strong as your orgasm approaches and he knows it. Gentle hand a contrast the the way he cock is rearranging your insides with pound ferver, Joel cups your face and puts his thumb to your lip.

No hesitation, you open your mouth and as soon as his thumb slides inside you lock your lips around him.

"Good girl... good- fuck- good fucking girl... just needed someth'n to keep your mouth busy, huh? Something to suck on? Yeah, I know baby, I know, it's a lot isn't it? It hurts a little, huh?" Joel looks down, watching the way his cock disappears into you, watching how it comes out covered in slick. He likes looking at you writhe under him, struggling to take it all... "Awwww big stretch.... That's it baby, suck on my thumb... harder, want yuh to practice for my cock, because i ain't done with yuh after tonight. You know that, don't you? You're mine, pretty girl. I'm your daddy now."

He can feel you tightening, your cunt beginning to pulse the same it did around his fingers.

"Bite down on my thumb when you cum baby, make it hurt."

You do as you're told, biting down to prevent from screaming as you cum on his cock, waves of pleasure rushing your body like the crash of the ocean on a rock. Not holding bad, you bit him to the bone and watch as his head rolls back as he cums, reveling in the pain as he floods your cunt with his spend. Again and again he fucks his cum inside your pussy, feeling it begin to leak out and down your ass crack before his softening cock finally still inside you.

There is a moment when Joel body falls on your, covering you with a blanket of just him pressed on your dress, that you think he's just going to get up and walk out. Maybe he's wake your dad up to say goodbye and then just not speak to you again now that he got what he wanted...

But he doesn't. Joel kisses you, saying he'll be right back before getting his pants on again and going to the bathroom. He returned to clean you up, calming your embarrassment when you see the blood on the sheets, and holding you until you fell asleep.

That was one year ago.

Today, you skip down the stairs at your dads,m pink dress fluttering around your knees, and hope happily outside to where you dad was grilling. A few people had trickled in, but were talking across the yard.

"Hi dad!" You start surveying the party goers, looking out over the yard. You don't see Joel yet, but Tommy is in the pool already which means Joel is probably stuck carrying in whatever they brought.

"Hi honey!" He greets you warmly. "That a new dress?"

You give a twirl. "Sure is!"

"Looks real nice, I always liked pink on you. I think Joel will like it too."

Your blood runs cold and you freeze. You don't even have it in you to act natural or confused, you just stare at him in shock. You wonder if he's about to start yelling, although that was rarely in his nature.

"I..."

Your dad smiles at you, adding cheese to a few burgers. "Relax, honey, it's fine. I saw your car at Joel's house back in May. Yuh ain't slick." He gives you a wink.

"Oh...." You say dumbly, unsure what else to say. "Are you... mad?"

"I was a little when I first saw it... but mostly because you guys didn't tell me. Then I thought about it and realized you guys were probably nervous. I figured as long as he's treat'n you right, I'm fine." He cocks an eyebrow. "And he's treating you right, ain't he? Just cause he's my friend don't mean I'm choosing his side."

Tears of relief well up in your eyes. "Yeah daddy, he does. He treats me real good."

"TOMMY!" Joel shouts walking up the driveway, carrying several bags and a cooler. "You couldn't help?!"

You and your dad laugh, and when you sniffle he leaves his grill to give you a hug. "Good. I'm glad. I just want you to be happy, and Joel's a good guy. I'm just glad it's not Tommy."

You laugh again at that, and once he's satisfied you're happy, he goes to putting the burgers on a plate.

"So... is it serious? I don't wanna be in your business, just wondering."

You watch Joel set up the snacks and beer he was specifically told not to bring, but because of who Joel is as a person he brought them anyway. He and Tommy help a kid out of the pool, and when Joel looks up he sees you staring at him from over the deck.

He grins at you and waves. You wave back. "Yeah dad. It's very serious."

You run down the steps to tell him you dont have to sneak around anymore.

If you want more joel with fem reader since this series is done and I'm largly leaving pedro characrters, check out @sweetlummie 's work! lots of v fem cute reader, including great plus size!!

Thank you all for your love on this series!!!! the first part went over 1k notes which is huge for me!!!!

I love you all dearly.

althought im not writng pedro characters as much if you are an enjoyer of my writing, check out my tag list! i got rid of it for a while but am bringing it back

thank you!!!

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[smoooothoperator]

untouchable

19: Beautiful Things

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle, life as lovers

Words: 5.6k (oooops)

Warnings: fluff (a little), angst, drama, crash, hopital

a/n: THE chapter!!!!!!! Let me know what were your theories about this chapter!

Masterlist

Official Playlist

previous chapter | next chapter

If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

The last few years I wasn't the best version of myself. I barely recognized myself when I looked at the mirror, not knowing what I did to look like that. It was like I couldn't control myself, being the victim of unfair and unjustified critics and hate, and making them get into my mind and believe every word they said about me.

For years I was under a fog that made my mind not perform well, and even if I had people that could help me, I never knew how to get rid of it.

Until I met her.

She was like a breath of fresh air every time she walked into a room. Her golden hair was the reminder of the sunlight as well as her blue eyes that stared deep into my soul whenever she looked at me. She was the pure incarnation of an angel.

I tried to be better. I tried to make her look at me, to have her attention and be the cause of her smile and happiness.

But she was always with someone else. She was out of reach. Untouchable.

For four years I dreamed of having her, I imagined a life with her next to me. Four warm summers and four cold winters.

Until it happened. 

She looked at me. I had her attention. I was the reason behind her smile. I was the person that could hold her. 

Thanks to her I freed myself from my tormenting, from my negative thoughts. She was the reason why I wanted to be better every morning. Thanks to her, I could face everything with a smile, I could go to my family and talk with them about myself without avoiding questions about work. And the best is that my parents loved Violet as a daughter.

“Lando!”

Would she like it big? Or maybe small? There are many sizes and forms. And what would she like more. Silver? Gold? Rose gold? 

“Hey, you deaf muppet!”

I look up from my phone, finding Violet running towards me with her hand in a fist holding something.

“What is it?” I laughed looking at her, watching her sit on the sun bed.

“I just found this conch shell, look!” she smiled, placing it in the palm of my hand, making me smile when I felt her cold fingers from the water.

After the triple header, Violet and I decided to spend the first week of the summer break on our own, staying in Monaco for some days to relax before going with my family to Greece.

“It's so beautiful” I smiled looking at her, holding her hand and kissing her wrist. “How is the water?”

“Really nice” she nodded. “Come on, come with me”

I smiled and nodded, leaving my phone in the backpack and holding her hand while we walked towards the water. 

When I started going out with her, I discovered that her love language was the same as mine, but she struggled to show it. Maybe it was because of her previous relationship, that made her be cautious about touching another man, but once I earned her trust, I discovered a whole new world with her.

Violet is a woman that loves talking about what she likes. Thanks to her I learned so many things about culture and different languages, and discovered new things and places I never imagined I would love. 

“Come here” I smile, opening my arms while floating so she could come close to me and wrap her legs around my hips. 

She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder, floating together. This was our first summer together, completely alone. 

“What were you looking at on your phone earlier? You were really focused on it and barely heard me calling you from the water” she whispered softly.

“Oh, I just read the contract for the reservation of the yacht for Greece” I lied, smiling, hoping she would believe it. 

“Is the same one from last summer?” she gasped, excited. 

“Yeah” I laughed.

“God, I loved that yacht! It's so big and spacious!” she smiled. “Well, except the bed I had last year, but it was fine”

“Well, you are lucky to share a bed with me now, huh?” I smirked. 

“I repeat. I won't do anything if your family is around, you perv” she laughed, splashing water on my face. 

Violet is a blessing. She is the type of person that when you meet her for the first time, she always tries to stay distant and quiet. I still can remember the first time I met her, sitting on the couch of my house and looking at everyone while we talked, like analyzing us and trying to read us. But since I started dating her, I discovered a new side of her and why she was like that with us.

And like with everything bad that has been happening lately, the answer to that behavior was Harry. 

“A thought for a thought?” she whispered against my neck. “I can hear your mind working”

“It's just…” I sighed, holding her closer to me. “I'm so grateful for these six months with you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking that everything was a dream, but then I look at my side and you are there, sleeping tenderly like a baby. And I swear I thank God every day for sending you my way that day four years ago”

I felt her move her face and look at me, leaning closer until our lips melted on a kiss. It was salty, but that didn't stop me from smiling and kissing her back when she held me closer too.

“This is not a dream” she whispered before pulling away. “This is real. My love for you is real”

I smile and kiss her lips again and again, not getting tired of the feeling of her lips on mine.

“And what were you thinking?” I asked her, kissing her cheek.

“Promise me you won't laugh” she smiled, poking my cheek.

“Is it funny?” I laughed looking at her, watching her shake her head with her cheeks tinted in red. 

“No, no, it's…” she smiled, taking a deep breath. “Well, I was thinking about stopping the rent of my apartment ”

“What? Why? You love that apartment” I frown, tilting my head to the side. 

“Yeah, but… I think I want to take the next step with you” she smiled looking into my eyes. “You've been living with me since you asked me six months ago, and even if you come on go, your things are still in the wardrobe and your toothbrush is still next to mine. I just think that the next natural step for us is having our names in a contract of owners of a property and living together… What do you think?”

I looked at her surprised. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, living together in a house and hopefully having kids around, maybe a dog too. 

“Remember what we talked about the day after Christmas?” I said, smiling. 

“That hypothetical question?” she laughed softly, nodding. “Yeah, I remember”

“That they I asked you, hypothetically, if you wanted a house like the one my parents own. With enough space for kids and lots of rooms” I said, cupping her cheek and feeling how she rested her head on my hand. “I told you that day I said that we were in the perfect age to settle down…”

“And you said that you wanted to think about the future” she ended for me, nodding. “And I do. I do want to think about the future with you. I want to settle down with you. I do want to look at houses in our free time and plan things with you”

I smiled looking at and nodded, happily. This is getting so real, so true.

And for once, I prayed to every God that exists to never take her away from me, never. I would rather die than lose her.

“My only condition is to have a room for my books” she smiled, biting her lip. 

“Anything you want, babe” I smiled, kissing her.

Back in my apartment here in Monaco I went to my setup room, sitting on the chair and looking at the screen of my phone, going through the same website I was looking at on the beach.

Some people might say that it's too soon, that we are young and have a long life ahead of us. But what is always in my mind is the thought of a forever with her, of taking every step of a relationship that leads to the next stages. Why wouldn't I look for something like this when I know that she is the one for me? Why would I have to wait when the answer is right in front of me?

“Love, are you going to stream?” I heard her ask, making me turn around and see her leaning against the door frame.

“No, why?” I said smiling, getting out the website from my phone and locking it. 

“Oh, well, I was just wondering if you wanted to look for houses now. Just for fun, of course” she said, coming towards me and standing between my legs.

“Why don't we make some snacks before that, hm?” I smiled, placing my hands on the back of her legs, looking up at her. 

She smiled and nodded, leaning to press a tender kiss on my forehead before she took a step back while I got up from the chair. 

Violet and I move in a perfect synchrony when we are in the kitchen, or when we work. We know what we have to do, where we have to stand so we don't disturb the other. It's like I can hear her voice in my mind telling me what to do, where to go.

Once the plates with our snacks were ready, we walked to the streaming room, sitting on the chairs. While I searched on the internet some websites that had houses to sell, I saw her getting up and going to get the backpack she left in the living room, coming back with her notebook and a pen.

“First we should write what we want in a house, right?” she said, smiling. 

“Wait” I said, placing my hand on her knee. “Like… are you being completely serious about this? Like, for real? You really really want to buy a house? I mean, we can look for an apartment until we think that it's not enough…”

“Lando, I want a house” she said. “With you. I guess if we are going to go through this we have to talk about, well… more mature things”

I took a deep breath and nodded, turning the chair to face her, holding both of her hands. I smiled looking at them, looking at the ring with our stones placed in her right middle finger, the wrist watch that matches mine after a sponsor sent them for us, the bracelet that is the twin of the one I have and a bracelet Eloise gifted her some years ago and she wanted to put it again. I rubbed her knuckles and looked into her eyes, searching for the courage to ask what was on the tip of my tongue.

“You want kids?” I asked her. 

“I think so, yeah” she nodded, blushing. “I mean… I see the way you are with Mila and Athena, or with Magnussen’s daughter. And I have these dreams at night when I can see you holding her, holding a little girl with your curls and my blonde hair”

“Why did you never tell me that?” I smile softly, squeezing her hands. “That's so beautiful, Violet”

“Because I didn't know how you would react” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Like, what if you don't want kids? What if you are comfortable with just the two of us? Less people to worry about, you know?”

“Well, I do want kids” I smiled. “God, I want it all, Violet. I want to get married with you, I want to have kids with you. Can we have a dog? Or maybe a cat. Or both! But, the thing is… I want everything”

“Then the mature talk is done” she smiled. “We are in the same page”

I bit my lip and nodded, pulling her hands to my lips and kissing her fingers one by one, smiling.

Is this what it feels like to have a soulmate? To have someone you are in complete synchrony, not only with how you coexist but with the way you think. We know what we want, and it feels amazingly beautiful.

But somehow this makes my fear of losing her even bigger. The thought of losing all it's inevitable.

The day we came back to London was sunny.  Max and Pietra came to pick us up at the airport because we wanted to have dinner together, ordering some takeout. 

Lando wanted to make a stream with Max in the improvised setup he made in my office, so while they stayed in that room, Pietra and I were on the couch talking.

“I told him about the house subject” I said smiling, looking at how Pietra opened her eyes with a big smile.

“No way! That's amazing!” she smiled. “So are you two for real? Like, forever?”

“I guess so, we had that talk too. The kids and marriage one” I said blushing. “It went really good”

“God, I'm so proud of you two” she said, hugging me. 

“It has only been half a year, but I swear it feels more than that” I sighed.

“Yeah, that happens when you are with the right person” she nodded. “You feel that you know him since forever and that you were together for longer because all the experiences and memories”

I smile and nod, taking a deep breath. We talked about some more things until I received a call from the restaurant where we ordered our dinner.

“God damn it, they don't have enough drivers to deliver it at time” I sighed, rubbing my temple. “I guess I have to go pick it up myself”

“Oh, I can go with you if you want to?” Pietra said, standing up.

“No, don't worry” I smiled, shaking my hands. “I’ll be fast”

I sighed and walked with her towards my office, opening the door a little and walking towards the setup, placing my hand on Lando's shoulder.

“I have to go pick up the dinner” I sighed.

“Oh? It happened again?” he frowned, wrapping his hand around my leg. 

“Unfortunately” I groaned. “Remind me to never order at that restaurant at this hour. It seems that everyone had the same idea of us”

“Yeah” he sighed. “You can take my car, it's parked in front of the building”

“You are the best” I smiled, leaning on him and kissing his cheek.

I walked out of the room and grabbed my bag, putting my wallet on it and grabbing the keys of his Audi. I always loved this car, how comfortable it is and easy to drive, and even if it was big and hard to find a parking spot for it, I wouldn't care.

I put music on the Bluetooth, listening to my playlist and singing along with it. The restaurant is not too far, only fifteen minutes away with traffic, and since it was late and the people that got out of work were already at home, the road was pretty empty.

So I let the engine roar a little, speeding on empty roads and feeling the adrenaline of hearing it mixed with the music of the speakers.

But silly me, I didn't notice the brakes starting to fail.

I hummed softly the music, watching how the traffic light went red so I pressed the foot on the brake pedal.

But the car wasn't stopping. The brakes weren't working.

“What the…” I frown, pressing again, feeling a shiver running up my back and already feeling cold sweat. “No, no, no!”

It happened so fast. My brain was working too fast and before I knew it I was jumping the red light, praying that the path ahead was clear and any car came into the intersection.

But my dose of luck was empty. I have had too many good things lately. 

Before I could understand what was happening, a white light blinded me as well as the sound of a horn coming closer to me. 

I felt the hit on my side and after that everything started to go slower, making me not hear the metal and glass of the car breaking. I felt my whole body in pain, the cuts of the glass in my face as well as in my arms, my side was terribly in pain. And what was worse, the pain in my nape and head.

Before I noticed the car stopping, I slowly passed out, nauseous because of the pain all over my body.

I didn't look at the time, not knowing how much it was taking Violet to come back. I knew she loved the Audi, so she was probably driving around to have fun and spend time alone with her music.

“Lando, you know where Violet is?” 

I frowned and turned the chair, looking at Pietra. She was looking at her phone with worry in her eyes.

“She said she went to pick up the dinner” I said, looking at my phone, swallowing thickly when I saw that it was already half an hour ago.

“Maybe she went for a ride” Max said chuckling, looking at me and then at the camera of the stream. “This man made Violet a fan of speed”

“Hey, no” I laughed, hitting his arm. “She always loved to drive, and thanks to me she had the chance of driving my McLaren”

“No way! Did you let her drive it before me?” Max gasped, making me laugh harder. “How dare you?!”

“She's my girlfriend and I trust her with my own life” I said. 

“Unfair”

I laugh and shake my head. We kept streaming a little longer until I received a call from Violet's phone.

“Violet! I know you love the Audi but we are really hungry” I smiled, looking at Max and Pietra.

“Are you related to Violet Sinclair?” 

I frown, somehow feeling a shiver when I heard the voice of a stranger through my phone.

“Y-yeah” I mumbled, ignoring the fact that I was on a stream when my whole face went pale. 

“I’m Captain Garrick from London's Fire Department. We found Miss Sinclair's phone and wallet in the ruins of a car crash. She was sent with urgency to the Royal London Hospital due to the critical conditions after the crash”

I just couldn't understand what I was hearing. Violet? In a crash? What?

“Lando?” 

I swallow thickly, looking at Max. He frowned looking at me, worried. We were still in the stream, and I could hear the notifications mixed with a whistle that was making me feel nauseous.

“End the stream” I mumbled, getting up and pacing around the room.

Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions.

Those were the words that kept flying in my mind like a mantra. 

Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions. Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions. Violet. Car crash. Critical conditions.

“Lando!”

When I felt Max’s hand on my shoulder I flinched, gasping. 

“She…”

“Who called? It was Violet? Your face changed when you answered the call” Max sighed, looking at me.

“Car crash” I said, feeling a knot in my throat and my vision getting blurry as seconds passed. “She was… she is in critical conditions, they said”

“What?!” Max and Pietra gasped.

“I need to go” I said, burying my fingers in my hair. “I have to go”

“We are going” Pietra said quickly, grabbing her things and looking at us. “We won't leave you alone like this. Where did they take her?”

“Royal London Hospital” I mumbled, watching them walk around me, grabbing things.

I felt the panic coming to my system. The fear I tried to fight over the last months, I could feel it coming closer, like a predator breathing in my nap. My chest was heavy, I could barely breathe.

Max sighed, wrapping his hand around my wrist, making me come back to Earth and walk behind him, following him to his car.

“She will be okay” Pietra said, looking back at me with a sad and nervous smile. “Violet is strong, and stubborn. It's not easy to get rid of her, huh?”

I couldn't answer, my eyes were fixed in my hands, looking at the bracelet of my wrist and feeling how the metal of it burned my skin. 

I can't lose her. There's no way this is real. This can't be happening. 

Why? Why are they doing this to me? I prayed to every God, I promised to every one of them that I would love her with all my heart, that I would never hurt her, and this is how they answered me? By making her be on a limbo between life and death? Why is this so unfair?

“We arrived” I heard Max say, stopping the car after finding a parking lot.

I took a deep breath and pressed my hands on my eyes, trying to calm down. I won't help Violet by feeling this way. I have to be strong for her.

I got out of the car and ran following them, going through the door of the emergency department and stopping in front of the receptionist table.

“V-Violer Sinclair?” I asked, trying to calm down my breathing and heartbeat. “Did she arrive? Where is she?”

“Are you related to her?” the woman behind the desk asked calmly, making my blood boil because of how disinterested she sounded. “Only familiars can have the information of her state”

“I'm her emergency contact. Of course I'm fucking related to her!” I exclaimed. “Where is she?!”

“Lando…” Pietra sighed, placing her hand on my arm. “He is her boyfriend, we are her friends. Her family is not in London, we are the only people she has. We need to know where she is, please”

I saw the woman look at us, scanning every one of us with her eyes as she chewed a gum and then her eyes scanned the screen of her computer while pressing keys on the keyboard.

“For Gods sake!” I exclaimed, taking a step back. 

“Lando, calm down, please” Max sighed.

“She's in the surgery room” the woman said. “Third floor”

I swallow thickly and look around, searching for an elevator and going to it with Max and Pietra. When we got inside of it, I could hear my heartbeat inside of my ears.

“She's going to be okay, don't worry” Pietra said.

“She's in surgery, Pietra… This is not okay. I know what a crash is. I know when a crash is safe and when it's not. I had plenty of them and never ended up at the surgery table” I mumble with a thin voice. 

“She wasn't driving at 300 km per hour, mate. I'm sure it's nothing, okay? Maybe a few cuts or broken ribs… The normal after a crash” he said, trying to calm me.

I just nodded, letting out a long, trembling sigh. 

She has to be okay. I need her to be okay. We talked about many things about our future, we have to make them come true.

When the doors opened we rushed out of it, walking fast through the corridors as we found the waiting room from the surgery department. I took a deep breath and looked around, finding another reception desk.

“I'll go” Pietra said, walking away from us.

“This can't be happening” I whisper, looking at how she talked with the receptionist. “This is not real”

“I'm sorry, Lando…” Max sighed, placing his hand on my back, guiding me to sit on the free chairs.

“I… God. We even talked about buying a house together” I said, laughing sadly and resting my head in my hands. “About marriage and kids. The other was looking for an engagement ring for her before she smsiad she wanted to.move in with me. God damn it!”

Max sighed and rubbed my back, resting his back on the chair.

“She will get through this, Lando. I swear” he whispered. “She loves you, she has a strong soul. She will fight”

I closed my eyes when I felt the tears burning them, letting them flow. I can't lose her.

“She’s in the surgery room number 5” Pietra said, sitting next to me and placing her hand next to Max's in my back. “A doctor will come to talk with you soon, the surgery is close to finishing”

I nodded and rubbed my face, sniffling. 

I waited and waited. It was an eternal wait, looking up every time I heard the doors opening and a doctor calling the family of their patient. It was a torture, hearing people sighing relieved after receiving good news and others crying in agony after receiving bad news. And I couldn't help but wonder what would be mine. Good news or bad ones? If I receive bad news, what should I do? What is the process? I should call her family, right? What are they going to do then? What am I going to do? 

“Family of Violet Sinclair?”

I looked up gasping, getting up fast and walking towards the man that called me. He is young, probably just the extra help or a resident of surgery that takes care of talking with the family. 

“I'm her boyfriend” I mumbled, nervously. “H-how is she?” Is she…?”

“She's alive” he said, nodding. “When she came, she had multiple broken ribs  and some of them punctured her right lung. Thankfully, we managed to fix it as well as the dislocated shoulder” he explained, making me sigh relieved and feeling a weight leaving my shoulders. “She's stable, but we had to induce her on a coma due to the damage in her head, so we expect her to heal on her own but she will wake up probably in a week”

A week. A whole week.

“Thank you” I nodded, swallowing the sob that wanted to escape. “Thank you so much, doctor. I owe you everything”

“We will send her to the ICU, you can visit her as soon as she's installed there” he said. 

“What… What can I do to help her heal? Is there a way?” I asked. 

“Talk with her” he smiled weakly. “They say that patients in coma can hear us. Talking with her and making her know that you are there with her will make her heal, I'm sure”

I swallow thickly and nod, feeling a wave of so many emotions hitting me. Relief, happiness, nervousness. I took a deep breath and walked away towards Max and Pietra, but looking at the family that received bad news recently.

“Well? How did it go?” Max asked worriedly.

“She's alive” I whisper, sighing with relief. “But in a coma”

“Oh, fuck…” Pietra sighed, biting her nails. “And then? What are you going to do?”

“Well, I'm going to stay with her” I said without doubting it. “I have to call my parents and tell them to go on the trip without us. And I have to grab some clean clothes for her… Oh, and reserve her a VIP, I really don't want fans around if there are rumors”

“I'll go grab her clothes” Pietra said. *Don't worry about it. Stay with her”

“I highly doubt that your family will go on the trip knowing what happened, Lando” Max sighed. 

“I know” I sighed. “I know, I know…”

I took a deep breath and closed. For a moment I thought I lost her forever. For a moment I thought I lost everything before even having it. And this made me realize how much Violet means to me, more than I thought. She is my present and my future, the person that owes my heart, the one that is my other half. And I can't live without it, I can't live without Violet.

“Look, they are taking her to the ICU” Max said, patting my knee and making me look up. “Go with her, okay?”

I nodded and stood up, taking a deep breath and looking at them. I immediately hugged them tightly, taking a deep breath, and both of them hugged me even more tightly. 

“Everything is going to be okay, yeah?” Max whispered. “Be strong for her, she will need it”

I took a deep breath and nodded, hiding my face on his neck and then I pulled away. They looked at me with a sad smile and red eyes filled with tears. Never in my life I imagined we could experience something like this.

“Give me the key to her apartment” Pietra said. “I’ll grab clothes for her and then we'll come back, okay?”

“You don't have to” I sighed. “Come tomorrow morning, yeah? You don't have to spend the night here, I'll do it”

They smiled weakly and nodded. I grabbed the keys from the pocket of my hoodie and handed them to Pietra. I don't even remember when I put them in there, probably it was without knowing it.

I watched them walk away, Max wrapping his arm around Pietra while they talked in whispers. I owe them everything for taking me here, for making sure I didn't break down.

“We took Miss Sinclair to the ICU” the doctor that talked with me earlier said behind me. “You can go with her. This way”

I looked at the young man, walking behind him as he guided me to the ICU. But before he opened the doors, he turned around and looked at me.

“I have to warn you” he said, smiling weakly. “What you will see might scare you. The ICU is not quiet at all, there are machines making sounds all the time. She has wires on her chest so we can rate her heartbeat, so you'll hear it. There's a tube in her mouth so the machine can breathe for her while she's unconscious. We put a cervical collar around her neck because of the hit she had in the crash. Her face is bruised and with cuts. But the most important thing is that she is alright, okay?”

“Y-yeah” I nodded, swallowing thickly and feeling how every word he said about her condition made my heart break more and more. “Thank you”

He smiled weakly and nodded, opening the door and guiding me to the box where she stays. 

I tried to not gasp, to not scream broken when I saw her. This was something I never wanted to see before. And unfortunately here I am, watching the love of my life connected to machines that are keeping her alive while I hear her heartbeat and her breathing.

“I'll leave you two alone” the doctor said. “If you want, I can ask the nurses to bring you a blanket so you can stay the night with her”

I couldn't talk, so I nodded. He walked out of the box, leaving us alone. 

“Oh, Violet…” I mumble, grabbing the chair and placing it next to her bed. “My beautiful, beautiful Violet…”

I tried so hard to not let the need to cry win. I tried so hard on keeping the tears back in my eyes. But it's so hard, and I’m so tired. 

“How” I whisper, feeling my voice cracking as I speak, barely watching my hand holding hers because of the tears blurring my eyes. “How could something like this happen to you? Who did this to you, love… Why you?”

I took a deep breath and brought her hand to my lips, letting the tears flow. 

I promised her I would always come back after every race, that I would be safe and go back to her. But karma is so unfair and what she was scared of what could happen to me, it happened to her. 

“I'm here now, baby” I whisper, pressing soft kisses on her hand. “If you hear me, don’t be afriad, okay? I'm here. Everything is okay, we can get through this. I will stay here, waiting to see your beautiful eyes opening again and then after that I will take care of you, I don't care if I have to miss some races. I will never leave your side, you come first, always. You are my first priority”

What should I do now? I have to call my family and tell them what happened… Would Violet want me to call her family? She told me they only care about her when they need her… Should I call Zak and tell him that I doubt I'll be ready for the first race after the summer break? And the fans… I'm sure they made edits if the stream, of how I answered the call and how I ended it abruptly.

“God… I think we are going to be trending topic” I sighed rubbing my forehead. “What should I do? I'm sure there are going to be news of the crash and they would recognize my car, should I tsay something about it? I'm so lost without you, Violet… You are the brain of the two of us. The smart one.”

Someone, help me get out of this nightmare. 

taglist

@elisysd @racinggirl @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @landoyesrizz @lorarri @bellwhysomean @leptitlu @aphroditeisamilf @brekkers-whore @copper-boom @sideboobrry11 @alltoomaples @f1madison @elijahslover @silkenthusiasts @chonkybonky @summerslike11 @randomgirlnumber-13 @is-just-a @whentheautumnleavesfall @malynn @mycenterfold @barackosteaa @izzy-marvel @ssprayberrythings @ophcelia @traveling-inspiration

[its--fandom--darling]

little bean - em x fem!reader

This is my submission to @oneforthemunny​‘s summertime writing game. I chose to do a wildcard 🃏 submission for cowboy eddie and sweet girl. I hope I did them justice and that everyone enjoys this sweet little story about dad!cowboy!eddie as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Pairing: Dad!Cowboy!Eddie Munson x Sweet Girl!Reader

@oneforthemunny​ @munsonology

Warnings: talk of pregnancy, reader being called little mama, afab reader, brief mention of car accident. please let me know if I’ve missed anything and I’ll update my list. (This isn’t edited. hopefully it’s all good. Enjoy!)

A/N: this is heavily inspired by personal experience with one of those ride and spring ponies that my sister and i had growing up. all header pictures are from pinterest, credit to the og owners of the photos. graphics by @firefly-graphics​

“Can you please uncover my eyes now?” you plead with your fiance as he guides you outside to see his latest surprise. You and Eddie had never really talked about having kids, always considering the many farm animals that you’d convinced him to adopt over the years as your pseudo-children. So when you’d found out that you were pregnant after a fender-bender, you and Eddie had the realization that you both wanted this little bean to be a part of your life. 

This brings you to now, 6 months into your pregnancy. The morning sickness had wrecked you for a while and your cravings had been intense and random. Pickles and peanut butter, sardines and fiddleheads, copious amounts of cheese doodles. But Eddie had taken everything in stride, making the 20 plus minute drive into town to hit the only 24 hour mini mart in the area whenever the urge for a midnight milkshake struck you. He’d truly been a saint, he’d always been good to you, treated you like a princess, but seeing you round with his child had unleashed another side of him, one that was incredibly tender. Without hesitation the two of you had decided to be surprised when the baby came, knowing that no matter what you had, it wouldn’t change the fact that you two were going to spoil, cherish and raise your little bean to be a kind person.  

“Just be patient for a second more, little mama. I don’t wanna spoil the surprise just yet,” he murmured, a grin evident in his voice. 

You huffed in fake annoyance, crossing your arms after the screen door, thwapped shut behind the two of you. 

“Alright, ready?” 

“Yes, Eds! The suspense is killing me!” you squeak, bringing your hands up to grab at your man’s calloused hands where they rested over your eyes. 

He chuckles as he lets his hands be pulled from your eyes. You blink a few times to adjust your vision before taking in his latest surprise. In your silence, your feel him lace his fingers with yours as you feel the familiar burn of tears in your eyes. 

“I know little bean won’t be able to use it for a while after they’ve made their grand entrance, but it was the last one in the store and sweet girl, I just couldn’t resist.”

You turn and kiss him softly. “It’s perfect, I love it.”

Sitting on the front porch is a ride and spring horse, almost identical to the one that you’d described to Eddie. You’d been telling him how, despite being a city girl, had spent many of your earliest summers of childhood at your grandparents. They lived in the countryside in a big white farmhouse style house.  Your grandfather was always a fan of black and white westerns, so you’d watched more than your fair share while your granny took her afternoon nap. You’d expressed to Eddie that those were some of your favorite childhood memories, especially when you’d arrived one day to find a beautiful chestnut colored ride and spring pony on your grandparents front lawn. The image of his sweet girl as child with little pigtails and her grandfather’s cowboy hat slipping down over her eyes as she bounced away the afternoon on that horse had made his heart clench. 

“Really? It isn’t too much? I know that I’ve been spoiling little bean and they ain’t even arrived yet but…”

You cut him off with a sweet kiss, cupping the back of his neck with your free hand and pouring your love and appreciation into the kiss. “It’s perfect,” you repeat as your lips part and he breaks into a grin as you bump your nose against his affectionately. “Thank you, for the horse and for taking care of me and bean. Thank you for listening to me and remembering those little details I shared with you.”

He grins wider, eyes crinkling with it. “It’s my pleasure, sweet girl. You two are my whole world.”

You grin at him, “You forgot about Medusa, can’t have her feeling left out now.” 

He chuckles and rolls his eyes at you, “Well, you’re right about that, sweet girl.”

You kiss him again. “Always am, aren’t I?”

He rolls his eyes, “I’ll give you most of the time, little mama.”

You smirk up at him, “I’ll take it. Now come on and show me what else you got.”

He furrows his brow at you, “What are you talking about?”

“I just know you didn’t leave the store with just that toy, lay it on me, what else did you get?” 

He sighs, “You know me far too well, sweet girl.”

“It’s because I love ya handsome, now show me the goods.”

He chuckles as you settle on the porch swing he’d installed for you when you’d first moved in with him. “I’ll get the bag.”

You giggle and kick your feet up resting your hands on your bump, stroking your thumb over it tenderly as Eddie ran to the pick up to grab the rest of his haul. As you watched him go through everything that he picked up for your future child, you knew that there was no way that you would wanna do this with anyone but your Eddie. 

-

--

---

----

-----

(Read more sacrifice)

[lastsummericons]

IKWYDLS CAST (2024)

[inthelandofv]

Hey this blog keeps coming up on my suggestions and I just wanted to say I was in a very similar place last year in regards to a devastating break up. I promise you things get better, I promise the aching doesn’t last forever, and I promise one day you will be in your house on a warm summer day with the window open and you will feel whole again.

thank you for taking the time to express your feelings. I feel like you all are coming together to reassure me. It's somehow wholesome.

You know, the painting of Ophelia you have in your header, I took her to the museum on our valentine's era to see the paint as it is one of her favourites.

She didn't know what museum displayed it. So when we arrived she was so happy just by the fact I took her to the museum. She kept telling me about this Shakespeare inspired painting and how beautiful it was

It was when I took her to room 10 and just like that she looked at me in awe. There it was. With watery eyes in the crowd full of unfamiliar faces, she told 'how did you know?'

How could I not know? She was always my favourite interest

[callmewrinkles3]

Plans

October 2018

He was finally back exactly where he wanted to be. The double header was hard, timezones sucking. At least he’d been close to Max in Suzuka but the less said about Sochi the better. More engine penalties and quali failures thanks to the shit that was the RB14. He was counting down the four races that were left. And Emmy was coming to Texas at least which made it even better. Him and his girl in Austin.

Emmy has giggled at him when he made it back to her place after sneaking back down the street with his two cases. One of them was mostly filled with stuff he’d brought her back from Japan, a trip to the Pokémon Centre in Tokyo worth the looks that Michael had given him. The way she cuddled her jigglypuff like she’d never had a stuffed toy before was worth it. And her smile was the best he’d seen in so long.

All he wanted was to be curled up in this bed, Em’s arms around him as her head was on his chest. It felt like home. But this time his head was against her, his face buried in her neck as she ran her fingers through his curls. Even with two good race results the season had been one failure after another. If racing was all he was living for he’d be miserable. At least this year he had someone else. He wanted to go back to Perth. He wasn’t fighting for anything. Sixth was as good as sewn up. What did they need him for? Go home for Christmas and see everyone in person instead of through a screen.

But he didn’t know what Em was doing for the holidays. Last year was spent in Liverpool and she looked miserable in the one selfie she’d sent him. Knowing her the way he did now he could see how her smile was fake. Her eyes didn’t sparkle. She was clearly miserable and he wanted her to enjoy them the same way he did.

She didn’t have the same relationship he did with his family, or even close to it. Michael had gone to the first Liverpool match of the season with her during the summer break, he’d mentioned how they left her parents after ten minutes. He didn’t say anything else and neither did Em.

He watched how they didn’t really talk to them. She’d text occasionally, had called them once in all the time she’d spent with him. Those interactions always left her quiet and unwilling to talk about them. She was upset but would never say it, so Dan just held her while they put something on tv to take their minds off it. He thought it helped.

Meanwhile he barely went two days without FaceTiming his family. Now that Isaac wasn’t a potato and understood what was going on he’d call Michelle so he could talk to his nephew. The days he didn’t call her he called his parents. And whenever possible at least once a week he was out to Nat’s to see his godson. Em had come once, and watching her and Natalie chat while he played with Wilfy was more fun than he thought it could be. She fit in so easily and his mind kept turning to the what if.

What if she came to Perth for Christmas. Would it really be that big a deal? His mum had already been asking him if she was coming to Abu Dhabi and when they’d get to see her again, and he knew his parents realised his calls were from Em’s more than his own place. He just had to ask her.

“Hey Emmy?” He looked up at her, waiting for a response.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna spend Christmas in Perth?” Dan felt her stiffen around him, her breath catching before she blew out slowly. Please say yes, please say yes.

“I don’t want to be rude. Your family has all the stuff you do.”

“And Mum asked when she’ll see you again. She’d love you to be there. Come spend it in Perth rather than be stupid cold here?”

“Let me think?” She smiled as she spoke and Dan pulled her closer, pressing open mouth kisses to her neck and collarbone as he twisted them around in bed.

Emmy was cooking lunch while he was on the couch, staring at data from Suzuka. The room was filling with the smell of onion and garlic and he waited for his Mum to call.

“Beef or chicken? I was thinking of making stir fry, I’ve got both. Is teriyaki good for you?”

“Beef? And that sounds amazing, didn’t get the chance to have any in Japan. I’ll take you to this really good place when you finally make it out to Suzuka. They do great ramen.”

“Sounds good. Fifteen minutes!”

His phone buzzed on the table as the photo of his mum came up on screen. Dan answered it, grinning at her.

“Hey Mum. Dad there?” He waved and saw her smile grow too.

“He’s just coming now. How’re you doing? You still at Em’s?”

“Yup, say hi Emmy!” He held the phone out for her to wave over, calling hi to his mother. Dan went to put the phone back but he could hear her talking.

“I was asking Daniel, are you coming for Christmas? We’ve been planning but I never asked, and knowing my son he wouldn’t even ask until Abu Dhabi. Did you have plans?”

“Eh, just my parents. I think. I haven’t checked with them yet. It’s been a couple of weeks.” Em’s voice went quiet as she stirred, Dan coming over to sit on the counter and hold the phone up by her.

“Well we want you here. I’ll plan like you’re coming until you say you’re not, deal?”

“Thanks, Grace. Hey Joe, how are you.”

Dan watched his girl chat with his parents, just chiming in every few moments. It wasn’t until he ended the call as Em was dishing up their food that she looked at him smiling.

“So. Tell me more about Perth at Christmas.”

He couldn’t help but lean over and kiss her nose, pulling her in for the briefest proper kiss before separating and smiling.

“It’s warm and we usually do a barbecue and go swimming. It’s just chill. And you won’t need a blanket or a hoodie.”

“It sounds pretty nice.”

“Especially for a pretty girl.” He watched her bring their food over, gesturing for him to come over to eat. Dan followed her, knowing already that he’d follow her to the end of the world.

[imaginespazzi]

NIVI, bestie, the first chapter of Golden Hour (peep me using the actual title!) – fucking spectacular. You know the UCLA fic will live on in my mind forever and it will always have a special place in my heart, but this might give it a run for its money already. Just something about kid fics, it’s just too damn endearing!

Firstly, when you use My Immortal as the song reference, you already know it’s gonna have you in your feels haha. Immaculate song choice btw.

LOL at the shade Indy’s still copping 9 years on. Also, I had a slight jump scare realising that Paige had been at the Wings all this time (@ irl universe, that was simply for the plot, not a manifestation).

DUDE, I just know every scene with Stephie is gonna hit, like ugh it’s all so adorable!! Stephie being just as indecisive as her mother, I would expect nothing less from Azzi’s mini-me. Also, picturing Azzi with kids is just so 😍🥰 I could feel my heart melt throughout their entire scene together.

Manager! Colleen, we love this, truly par for the course. Also, Colleen tryna keep up with the spelling was so real of her, SAME babes.

Ahhhh JANA! I was wondering which menace would be burdened with having to deal with the two idiots! Side note: This just made me even more excited for this big 3 this coming season (it’s what we deserve after being robbed of our other big 3).

The Paige and Stephie scene man, immediately in my top 5 out of all the scenes you’ve ever written.

She really got Paige with the “but you’re not a stranger” huh.

And when she just casually climbs on to Paige’s lap and made sure she got her kisses! P absolutely stood no chance against this kid, she’s stuck at GSV forever now.

The instant bond and attachment they have to each other - ugh I love them so bad already - they’re gonna be such a handful for Azzi to deal with.

Flashback scenes always get me, I may or may not have teared up at this scene, just seeing how in love they were and them thinking they’d be that simple forever, knowing the train derailed somewhere along the way. Heartbreaking.

Jana staying true to her menace roots by putting her foot in her mouth lmao. Also, “children of divorce” lines are always some of my favourites haha, I just know the menaces still have regular group therapy sessions about how mom & dad’s divorce traumatised them cause like is love even real at that point? 😔.

The whole exchange between Paige and Azzi was like whiplash, in the best way, between the banter and how they really feel.

And the last lines – it wouldn’t be you if there wasn’t a perfect full circle/callback moment.

What’s next? (maybe)

The “one snapped string can cause a whole web to dissolve” really got me thinking about how exactly their mutual web was splintered and just how much their breakup affected everyone around them.

I’m also excited to find out who their other teammates are lol.

Can’t wait for the first time that Stephie brings up “Miss Buecks” with Azzi.

I’m also imagining Stephie having a pre-game handshake/ritual with Azzi and then her making one up for her and P 🥹

Most of all, I’m so sat to find out about the breakup, like I need all the details immediately and what happened that “last time”.

Oh and will there be a reveal of how Stephie was conceived?? Although, I’m guessing by the “because Stephie is all Azzi’s” that the other parent is definitely out of the picture?

And before I forget, the title art? header? ate that up once again (I see what you did making it purple)! The tagline too. I mean, you know i'm still partial to the "everything changes, except the ending" cause that really was *chef's kiss* but this was too!

Favourite line/quote:

“I’ve never seen you with braids this early in the year. They used to be your summer braids,” Paige remarks slowly. It’s a mundane change to notice but it’s significant of the larger truth, significant of all the time that’s passed, significant of the fact they don’t know these new versions of each other.

You’re an absolute legend as always, bestie! Can’t wait for the next one 💗

-🙋‍♀️

AHHH BESTIE I was waiting for your review cause like you're lowkey one of my favorite parts of the writing process now so just by that logic you're never allowed to fully leave this app tee hee.

AH I WAS HOPING YOU'D KNOW IT! It just fit really well.

Sorry not sorry Indiana you're just never ending up in my good books and I have no faith in that organization to not still be a cesspool years from now. DALLAS WINGS THIS IS NOT MANIFESTATION PLEASE LOOK AWAY!

Azzi as a girl mom is so self-indulgent like I just know she's meant to be one and would be so amazing so like this fic really is just me vicariously imagining it.

Lmao I had to have Colleen. She was there the first time, it's only fair she has to deal with them again the second time. Without anything to back it up, I also lowkey could see this in real life.

I thought about it for a fair bit but Jana ultimately made the most sense but the other menaces will make an appearance at some point for sure!

The Paige and Stephie scene was one of my favorite scenes to write and again so self-indulgent because I live and die for soft!Paige and especially that with kids? Yeah, I really did that for me lmao.

Yeah there is not Paige Bueckers anymore only Stephie's Ms. Bueckers and they're only about to get more and more attached (until I ruin it? MWAHAHA maybe)

I think I've used that children of divorce line in mutiple fics but ah well it's not like I can plagiarize myself lmao

You know me too well babes. I love my full circle moments, even though this one actually wasn't intentional until the very last line.

I know UCLA was very Pazzi centered but I'm actually really excited to get into other relationships in this fic as well and that line *whispers* was definitely foreshadowing.

I lowkey have no idea what other teammates to give them so that should be fun coming up with a team lmao

WAIT THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA I'M STEALING IT LMAO

Is the "last time" a reference to the actual breakup or something more recent? Hmmm guess we'll find out (and I do mean we cause I haven't decided lmao)

That really is the question of the century huh? But yes, while it lowkey would've been fun (and easy) to never go into that, the mystery of Stephie's conception will be revealed in due time.

AHH THANK YOU! I'm not the greatest editor but I do really enjoy making covers like this so it means a lot that you liked it.

Love you babes, I'm so glad you're along for the ride again <3

[sfb123]

Hands Down

Chapter 1: "Dear No One"

Catch up here!

Pairing: Liam x Riley

All characters belong to Pixelberry

Summary: Can Liam and Riley still find their way to each other despite Riley turning down Maxwell's invitation to Cordonia?

Rating: G

Word Count: 2,591

Song Inspiration: Dear No One - Tori Kelly

A/N: We're officially off and running, thank you all so much for the warm reception of the prologue. Your excitement is making me even more excited to get this out to you!

A/N 2: Spoiler alert, there's no Liam in this chapter. But I promise it's still worth reading.

A/N 3: Thank you @txemrn for pre-reading.

Tags are below the cut/in the comments. If you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know!

Riley was on cloud nine as she walked the familiar path back to her apartment, making a mental checklist of everything she would need to do over the next month. She was excited and nervous, but this was everything she had ever wanted. 

Over the last few months, Riley had been focusing on school. It was her last year of college, where she majored in dance and minored in education. When she wasn’t studying, she was working. In addition to her job at the bar, she was assisting at the dance studio that she had attended as a child. 

The last month had been the busiest: finals, graduation, and the studio’s annual recital. Once all of that was finished, she jumped right into working the studio’s summer camp, all while spending her nights working at the bar. However, today was the day that made it all worth it. After the students had left for the day, the owner of the studio pulled Riley aside and offered her a full time teaching position when classes started up again in the fall.

This job was exactly what she had been working for. When she was growing up, the studio was her favorite place to be. The students and teachers were her friends, her extended family. When she was nine, she decided that she wanted to teach dance, and be what her teachers were to her for other kids who were trying to find their place in the world. She would have been happy teaching anywhere, but to be able to teach at her studio, her home, was the ultimate dream.

She entered her apartment, dropping her keys on the table by the door. She plopped down on the couch, her head falling back as she let out a wistful sigh. 

“Finally!” Her friend and roommate, Daniel said as he entered the living room. “I need your help,” he lifted his arms, each containing a dress shirt on a hanger. “Which one?” He held them up to his torso one at a time.

“Another date?” 

“You know it,” Daniel smirked. 

Riley rolled her eyes as she pointed to the green shirt. “That’s three dates this week.” 

“Four, you forgot about my double header Saturday,” He corrected her. “How was camp?” 

The corners of Riley’s mouth turned upwards, a wide grin slowly spreading across her face. “Pretty well, Christie offered me a full time teaching position when the season starts up in September.”

Daniel’s fingers froze in place on the button he was trying to secure. “Shut. Up.” Riley nodded her head, unable to contain her excitement. “Ri, this is amazing!” He rushed to the couch, she stood just in time for him to wrap her in a bear hug. “That’s my little Debbie Allen.” 

“So, now that I’m going to be teaching full time, I’m only going to need the one job.” She said tentatively as she pulled out of his embrace.

“Yeah, I kind of figured that was coming.” The moment was interrupted by the chime of Daniel’s phone. He pulled it from his pocket, and took a quick look at the screen. “Oh crap. Riley, you know I’d stay and celebrate, but I’ve gotta-” 

“No, totally. Get out of here.” She playfully punched him on the arm. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Oh please,” Daniel groaned. “If I did that, I wouldn’t be going out in the first place.” He leaned down, kissing her on the cheek before hurrying out of the apartment. 

Riley sat back down on the couch and picked up the remote, turning on the television and sighing to herself. Getting this job was the best news she had probably ever received, her dream was coming true. She should be celebrating, but she was sitting home alone, watching reruns. 

She understood; the world didn’t revolve around Riley Brooks. Her friends all had plans; she would never ask them to cancel for her. It was moments like this where she missed having someone to celebrate with. Since her last relationship ended, she had put dating on the back burner; she wanted to focus on her studies, but more than that, she felt she needed to take time to heal her heart. However, Riley had always been a hopeless romantic, waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet. 

And when he finally did, she was too scared to pursue it. 

If she were being honest with herself, that was part of the reason she had kept so busy in her final semester. She was trying to ignore the nagging regret that had consumed her since she rejected the invitation to compete in the Cordonian social season. Not a day had gone by since her night on the town with Liam that she hadn’t thought about him. Missed him even. But she had blown her chance. The social season will be coming to an end soon. Liam was about to choose his bride. A woman that would probably make him forget all about her. Riley pushed past her thoughts of the man she could never have, and turned her focus back to the television.

***

A few days later, Riley was at her father’s house for a family dinner that had been put together both as a congratulatory gathering to celebrate her new position, and because her sister Danielle had an announcement to make. 

“Did you tell her to be here earlier than the rest of us?” Riley’s mother, Tina, asked her ex-husband as they sat in the living room of Riley’s childhood home. 

“I told her to be here thirty minutes earlier than I told you two,” Riley’s father responded. “She must have caught on.” 

As if on cue, the front door opened, and Danielle entered, followed by her girlfriend Sophie. They walked into the living room, unphased by their tardiness. “Hi everyone!” Danielle said to the annoyed and impatient faces of her family. “Jeeze, good to see you guys, too.” 

“It would have been better to see you forty five minutes ago, when you were supposed to be here,” Riley teased. “Can we eat now? I’m starving.” 

“No, not yet. We have an announcement!” Danielle said, raising her right hand to halt her family. “So as you already know, Sophie and I were out of town for the last couple of days. But what you don’t know is that it was to celebrate our engagement!” 

With that, she and Sophie each raised their left hands, showing off matching oval halo diamond rings. Tina sprung up from her seat, pulling Danielle and Sophie into a hug. 

“This is wonderful,” her grip tightened. “I’m finally going to be a mother of the bride!”

“Way to make it about you, Mom,” Danielle’s voice was muffled against her mother’s shoulder.

“Congrats, kiddo,” David said, prying the couple away from Tina. 

“Thanks, Daddy.” 

Riley approached them next, “Congratulations, Dani.” She pulled her sister into a hug before turning to Sophie. “My condolences.” She said to her future sister-in-law, who chuckled in response. “No, seriously. We’re stuck with her; you’re choosing to be with her.” Riley joked. 

“Ow!” She yelped when she felt a slap on her shoulder. Her head turned to the side to find her mother scowling at her. “Congratulations.” She muttered as she dramatically rubbed her arm. 

“Thank you,” Sophie replied. “Thank you all. You guys have always been so welcoming to me, and I’m really excited to become part of the family.” 

“Oh please,” David scoffed. “You’ve been a member of the family for years now. This just makes it official.” He patted Sophie on the shoulder. “Now let’s eat!” 

As everyone made their way to the dining room, Riley lingered behind. She was happy for her sister, she really was, and Sophie was perfect for her. A perfect addition to the family. It just served as another reminder that, despite her professional achievements, there was still something, or someone, missing. 

Throughout dinner, the conversation focused on Danielle and Sophie’s news. Everyone wanted to know how it happened, what Sophie’s family said, and if they had made any wedding plans. 

“We’re going to keep it pretty small,” Danielle explained. “Just close friends and family. It helps that Ri won’t need a plus one,” she joked. 

Tina and David chuckled while Riley narrowed her eyes at her sister. “I’ve been focusing on finishing school, and getting a job,” she protested. 

“We’re both still in school, and managed to get engaged,” Danielle shrugged. 

Riley crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah, but I was in my last year, and I have been working toward a very specific goal. You have switched majors three times, and you’re only in your second year!” 

“Alright,” Tina’s mother interrupted. “That’s enough. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. You both have major milestones to celebrate, and there isn’t one that is better or more important than the other. Your father and I are proud of both of you,” she assured them. “And who knows? A couple of years from now, we will probably be sitting around this table celebrating Dani’s new career, and Ri’s engagement.” 

Riley and Danielle mumbled their apologies as they typically did when they would get into arguments. As their attention moved back to the meal, David decided to redirect the conversation. “So Ri, how many classes do they have you in charge of?”

“I’m teaching ten of my own, and assisting five.” She replied, pushing her food around on her plate. 

As much as she appreciated her father trying to bring things back to her, she couldn’t help but feel like she had been overshadowed by her sister’s news. Once again, she felt that pang of loneliness in her heart. 

At the end of the night as everyone was saying their goodbyes, Tina pulled Riley aside. “Ri, are you alright?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” 

“You got quiet after your fight with your sister.” 

Riley sighed. “It’s just annoying. I came in here all excited about my news, and I just felt kind of overshadowed.” It was a half truth, she felt silly telling her mother the rest. 

“Riley, you have worked so hard to get where you are, and I couldn’t be prouder of you,” her mother assured her. “As for the other part,” Riley arched a brow, “I’m your mother. I know you better than you think.”  

“I know it’s hard to be alone, especially after having someone for a while. But you have been focusing on yourself, and that’s more important than anything else. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” 

Riley rolled her eyes. “Sure, Mom.”

“It’s a cliche for a reason. Besides, you and your sister are different people; you always have been. You’re the level headed one, the one who plans and worries. Your sister just,” she waived her hand back and forth, trying to come up with the right words. “She just goes with the flow. You’re doing everything right, and you’re going to get everything you want.”

“How do you know?” 

“Again, I’m your mother. I know things.” 

Riley chuckled and pulled her mother into a hug. “Thanks, mom.” 

***

The next night, Riley and Daniel entered the bar together for their shift. They were greeted by their manager Eli, his welcoming smile quickly morphed into a scowl when he realized that it was them, and not a customer. 

“It’s about time,” he hissed.

Daniel rolled his eyes while Riley took a deep breath. Eli was never in a good mood, so she knew there wasn’t going to be a right time to talk to him. She decided to rip the bandaid. “Eli, can I talk to you for a minute?” 

“You had better make it fast. We have customers that need to be taken care of.” Without another word, Eli stormed toward his office. Riley looked over to Daniel, who offered an encouraging smile. “Today, Miss Brooks!” Eli called from the back of the room, catching the attention of some of the patrons. Riley trotted in the direction of his voice.

Once she stepped inside, Eli closed the door behind her. “Let me save us both some time. The answer is no.” 

“The answer to what?” Riley asked, confused by the statement.

“I’m not a fool,” he began. “And despite what you and your friend think of me, I am not oblivious to the things going on around here. I know you just received a bachelor's degree, however I also know that it is not in a field that would benefit this establishment in any way. Therefore, your degree does not entitle you to a raise.” 

“Oh,” Riley replied in a surprised tone. “No, it’s not that. It’s about my graduation, but I’m not looking for a raise. I actually received a full time offer to teach, and it pays enough that I will only need the one source of income. So I… Well, this is my two week’s notice.” Riley had never quit a job before, and she hated confrontation, so the words spilled out of her at a rapid pace. “But I’ll have my regular availability, and I could probably do some extra hours if -”

Eli lifted his hand to halt her word vomit. “I don’t need your life story.” He said coldly. “Your resignation is accepted.” Riley let out a breath, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. “That doesn’t mean you just coast for the next two weeks.” He reminded her curtly. 

“Oh no, of course not.” She replied quickly.

“Then get back to work!” 

Riley exited the manager's office, the sound of the door opening pulled Daniel’s attention away from the customer he was waiting on. He locked eyes with her. She gave him a shrug and a half smile as she made her way to her post behind the bar. He scribbled down the order and hurried to Riley.

“Well?” He asked, nudging her with his shoulder. 

Riley chuckled as she slid a pint of beer across the bar. “It’s done. I will only be a waitress for two more weeks.” 

Daniel gave her a questioning look as he passed his customer’s order to the kitchen. “Then why do you look like your dog just died?” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Riley, this is amazing! You’re starting your dream job, and in two weeks you’ll have your nights free, you’ll be able to have a social life again!”

“Right,” Riley scoffed. “A social life, because I’m so good at those.” 

“That’s what you’ve got me for.” Daniel grinned. “I’m going to get you out and having fun. Maybe even get you on a date or two,” he winked. 

Riley rolled her eyes at her friend. “Yeah, sure.” 

“Listen,” Daniel started in a more serious tone. “Baby steps, I’m not going to force you to go to parties every night, or surprise you with random blind dates, but you deserve to be happy, Ri. Not just dream-job-college-graduate happy, you deserve to be everything happy.” 

Riley smiled softly. “Thanks, Daniel. You’re the best.” She pulled him into a hug. 

Their tender moment was interrupted by the ringing of the kitchen bell, notifying them of an order that needed to be delivered to a customer’s table. “That’s me,” Daniel said as he pulled away and went to the kitchen to gather his order, promptly returning with a plate in each hand. “Let’s get you through the next two weeks first,” he encouraged. “After that, everything’s going to change.” 

Permatag:

@3pawandme @alj4890 @busywoman @charlotteg234 @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @differenttyphoonwerewolf @emkay512 @foreverethereal123 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @imashybish @kat-tia801 @kingliam2019 @malblk21 @mom2000aggie @neotericthemis @nestledonthaveone @queen-arabella-of-cordonia @secretaryunpaid @sincerelyella @theroyalheirshadowhunter @tessa-liam @twinkleallnight @txemrn

Liam:

@amandablink @custaroonie @jared2612

TRR:

@21-wishes @ao719 @belencha77 @burnsoslow @lovingchoices14 @the0afnan

Hands Down:

@imjusthereforliam @kristinamae093

@choicesficwriterscreations 

[humanpurposes]

Okay, INDULGE ME! Is there a literary quote for KIAG that in your opinion would describe the fic so far? Do you have a photo that'd fit the It Will Come Back AU aesthetic you'd be willing to share? AND if you were to make a playlist for August what songs would you include in it? I've been thinking about these three fics lately and need to be fed yk 🫣 Love you Gee, thanks for writing and giving us such well-written and addicting fics 😘

Hi baby 🥹 These asks are amazing, thank YOU for being awesome <3

Ok, Karma is a God. I love the quote from Wuthering Heights,

“You said I killed you-haunt me, then! [...] Be with me always-take any form-drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!”

It’s so perfect to me because that is soooo Aemond wallowing in guilt in Harrenhal!! Lucerra herself embodies so much to Aemond, she’s the one he lost his eye to, the reason why he dedicated himself to being perfect. Then he ‘kills’ her and her supposed death completely unravels him. The fact that she’s alive means he has a chance at redemption, either dying at her hands and allowing her that justice, or to be forgiven by her. He hates her but he’s incomplete without her.

rest under the cut because this is gonna get too long 😭

IT WILL COME BACK 🖤 Asking me to pick just one image is insane, but I was scrolling through my Pinterest board and I remembered there’s one picture that appears in all the headers for the chapters, The Rape of Proserpina:

It's a horrific image right? This young woman is being taken from her home and her family by the god of the underworld. I think it spoke to me for this fic as an expression of Aemond's possessiveness. His love for Jaya is tied to the idea that he can control her and influence her. In his mind, it is other people that separate them. The animosity between Rhaenyra and Alicent bleeding into their children, the competition between the factions of Dragon Bank, the fact that she defended Jace over Aemond. He wants a hold over her like no one else has. Aesthetically as well, I love the look of marble statues, I love how immersive and expressive they can be. And they have a sense of grandeur and ancientness (is that even a word?) which means they look perfect in a fic header or a moodboard hehe.

Can you believe I don’t have a playlist for August?? If I did, the first song would be Slowly by Susanne Sundfør. The working title for this fic was ‘I Know You’re Lonely Too’ which is a lyric from this song. There are so many lines I love in this but the chorus just really encapsulates the vibe I wanted for this,

“And you say it’s gonna last forever // We have different heartbeats // But all the same heartbreak // And I can feel it in the way you hold me… I know you’re lonely too.”

To me, this song feels like yearning and wanting to live in the moment even as you feel it slipping away.

Some other songs I would include would be:

Summer's Over by Jordana and TV Girl

Linger by The Cranberries (+ the remix by Iain Cook)

To Wish Impossible Things by the Cure

It's Not Living (If It's Not With You) by the 1975

Supernatural by Ariana Grande

August by Taylor Swift

[spnhunter4life]

Bullets and Ballgowns Chapter 3

Series Summary: In the summer of 1813, the arrival of a new family in Brighton causes much excitement for the townsfolk. Anna Foster is shocked to realize she has already met the elder of the two sons, Dean. As she gets to know the family better, she must fight her feelings for him. Though she finds herself drawn to him, it is impossible that they could ever be together.

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: Once again, so sorry for the long wait. I knew it had been a while but didn't realize it was a little over a month since the last chapter now. I'm still excited about this story and have so many ideas for it, and I spend a lot of time planning it out. Unfortunately, I'm having a really hard time making myself sit down and actually write it though. I actually already have a small start on chapter 4, so I really hope it won't take so long before the next update, but I can't make any promises. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist Series Masterlist

(Whoops. Completely forgot about the header picture, so still don't have that. It'll probably show up eventually...)

The tea at the Winchester’s house came and went. It had been a pleasant experience. Mrs. Winchester was much as Anna had expected based on her mother’s stories. A bright, friendly woman who was easy to talk to. The three of them had a wonderful afternoon together talking about anything and everything. Anna even got a chance to have a short conversation with Sam when he came into the drawing room shortly before she and her mother left. Yes, it had been a very pleasant afternoon.

The carriage ride home had been less so. 

“Anna, we need to talk, darling,” her mother said shortly after leaving.

“Ok,” Anna agreed warily. Those words were rarely followed by good news.

Her mother seemed to hesitate, thinking over her words. After a moment, she sighed. “You must know that I want the best for you, that all a mother ever wants for her daughter is for her to be happy. For her to have all the things she'll ever need in life, and even for her to have all the things she wants.” Anna nodded in understanding, but there was a small frown of confusion on her face. 

“That's what I would wish for you,” her mother continued. “But you know as well as I that we don't always get what we want.” Anna could tell this last part was very meaningful to her mother, but she had no idea what her point was.

“I know that,” she said when her mother seemed to be waiting for a response.

“Then let me remind you that you are engaged.”

Anna stiffened slightly. She wasn't entirely sure what she was being accused of, but she did not like the turn this conversation had taken. “I haven't forgotten.” And then, after a brief pause, “I’m not sure what your point is, Mama.”

“There's no need to be so defensive, darling. I do not mean to reprimand you, only to give you a reminder and a warning. I know Mr. Sanders may not have been your first choice, but-”

“Not my first choice?” Anna asked incredulously. “He wasn't my choice at all! Papa planned it all out while I was visiting Aunt Jane in London! He may have sent a letter asking if I would agree to the arrangement, but it was more formality than anything. How could I possibly have said no when all the gentlemen were in agreement and not really concerned with my opinions?

“You must remember what it was like to be a young girl. To know how pointless and even foolish it is to hope to be one of the rare few who get to marry for love. But the problem with hope is that you can't just turn it off and stop feeling it, no matter how you might tell yourself to. 

“So yes, it's what I expected for myself. And I know Mr. Sanders is a good option and I should count myself lucky to spend my life with a kind young gentleman like him. I know I could have been promised to someone truly awful. But fortunate as I may be as far as arranged marriages go, it is still not what I hoped for for myself! I do not love him! I suppose I shall have to learn to one day, but until then I cannot just turn off my disappointment. That does not mean I don't plan to marry him or that I've forgotten about our engagement.”

“I am glad to hear it, though I did not think otherwise.”

“But you said-”

“I said I wanted to remind you, yes. I also said I wanted to warn you. I did not mean I was reminding you in the sense that I worried you’d forgotten, but in the sense that I want you to be careful. I do remember what it’s like to be a girl wishing for love. I remember what it feels like to meet a gentleman you hope will be that man. And I know what it looks like too. That’s not how you look at Mr. Sanders. Nor would I expect you to,” she hurriedly added, seeing the protest in Anna’s eyes. “After all, you hardly know the man. Perhaps that should change? It is perfectly possible for you to fall in love with him if you only take the time to get to know him.”

“It will be a long while before we are married, Mama. I imagine we shall have ample opportunity to get to know each other. Besides, he hardly seems worried about spending his time with me. What am I to do when he offers me only the barest amount of attention he can without seeming impolite?”

“Do not take it personally, darling. He is young and unsure of how to handle the situation. It does not mean he does not wish to know you,” her mother assured her.

“I know that. I can see that in his own way he is trying. But you cannot expect me to get to know him when doing so is entirely dependent on him.”

Her mother sighed in exasperation. “Alright, fine. If you cannot spend more time with your fiance, then perhaps instead you should be spending less time with other gentlemen.”

“Mama!” Anna cried. “You expect me to spend the whole season sitting on the edge of ballrooms, turning away any gentleman who offers a dance? Because I do not love the fiance that I did not choose for myself?”

“It is not because you are not in love. You can hardly help that. I only hoped you could make it easier on yourself by getting to know him so you could be in love. And I do not expect you to turn away every gentleman. Just the one.”

“I still do not know what you are talking about,” Anna huffed out a little more angrily than she intended. She was certain she had done nothing to deserve this warning from her mother.

Her mother sighed again, this time in resignation. In a calm, placating tone she said, “I told you I know what it looks like when a young lady has more than a passing interest in a gentleman. I see it plain as day on your face when you speak to Mr. Winchester.”

Her confusion must have shown clearly on her face. She thought back to her short conversation with Sam that afternoon and wondered how her mother could have interpreted it as anything more than friendship. 

If she’d only asked instead of making assumptions, we could have avoided this whole unpleasant ride, Anna thought bitterly to herself.

“Mama, you misunderstand my feelings. His feelings as well.” Her mother’s raised eyebrow was all the prompting she needed to continue. “Whatever it is you think you saw between us this afternoon, you are wrong. He is my friend. That is all.”

It was her mother’s turn to be confused, but it was quickly replaced with understanding. “I do not mean the younger Mr. Winchester,” she informed her.

Her meaning was clear enough. Anna fought against the panic that threatened to take control at those words and said calmly, “I’ve only spoken to him a couple of times, Mama. I barely know him.”

“Perhaps. But I know you. I saw how he caught your attention at the ball. I cannot fault you for that. After all, he is quite a handsome young man. I saw him catch the eye of many young ladies that night.” Anna knew how intentional this seemingly innocent statement was. Her mother was watching her carefully for a reaction. She was careful not to give her one. “Noticing a handsome face is not what concerns me,” she continued. 

“I saw you when you danced that night, and again when you walked at the park two days ago. The way you look at him… well you don’t look at anyone else that way. Certainly not Mr. Sanders. It’s like you’re hanging on to his every word. Like you do not dare look away from him or he may disappear and you’ll find out his existence was just some great trick. That is what concerns me.”

“You need not be concerned, Mama.”

“Do not lie to me, Anna,” her mother commanded, more disappointed than angry.

“I am not lying! Whatever it is you think you saw, he is my friend. Just as his brother is.”

“Not just as his brother is,” her mother disagreed.

“Yes! He knows I am engaged and has asked specifically if I might be his friend. So you see, there is nothing to worry about. I will not be creating a scandal by encouraging Mr. Winchester’s attentions when I am already engaged.”

“My dear, I never thought such a thing. I am not worried about a scandal, I am worried for your heart. I do not want it to break.” Anna started to protest, but her mother was quick to cut her off. “Deny it as much as you wish, but I know what I saw. I am only suggesting that perhaps you should end your friendship now, before you fall too much in love and end up getting hurt.”

~~~~~

It was three weeks later and Anna was walking by herself, replaying this conversation. In those three weeks, this year’s social season had meant frequent balls and teas and picnics. Keeping to his promise of being friends, Mr. Winchester had sought out her company at each and every function. She told herself it was harmless, that there had been no flirting of any kind from him and so as long as she kept herself in check – which she absolutely would – there was no reason to worry. 

And she still firmly believed that. But she couldn’t deny that the more she got to know him, the more strongly she felt for him. It was getting harder and harder to imagine a life where she was only allowed to be his friend, without ever having the chance of even a hope for more. 

Maybe it was time to bring this friendship of theirs to an end. It would be humiliating, of course, the conversation she would have to have with him to explain things. But in order to protect her own heart, she thought it might be necessary.

She was so lost in these thoughts that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going. She had walked further than normal, going well past the boundary of her family’s land and heading into what was miles and miles of nothing but grass and hills and woods. 

She sighed at the realization of how far she’d gone and had just started to turn around when something in her peripheral vision made her stop. She looked up and gasped in fear. A low, warning growl accompanied a single step forward by the large wolf. It was a dark gray color, with matted fur and a torn ear. Its teeth were bared as it stared Anna down from a dozen yards away.

Heart racing and breath catching in her throat, Anna kept one eye on the wolf as she started scanning the rock and branch strewn ground for something she could use to defend herself. Most of the rocks were too big for her to lift, most of the broken off branches too small and weak to be a defense, more large sticks than true branches.

Anna knew better than to turn her back on a predator. She kept one eye on the animal as she slowly took a step back, still searching the ground. The wolf didn’t appear to like her moving and he let out another threatening growl. Anna froze. She didn’t want to provoke him into attacking, but she also couldn’t sit there defenseless and just wait for it to happen. She took another cautious step backwards. And another. The wolf continued his growling, but didn’t approach. Everything went wrong on her fourth step back.

Two large rocks that she hadn’t seen sat side by side, pressed against each other. Her foot knocked against them, right at the point where they met. She wobbled, fighting desperately to keep her balance. In the end, gravity won out and she fell down. Hard. The force of her fall wedged her foot between those two rocks and she knew it wasn’t coming back out easily. Her quick movement and obvious vulnerability provoked the wolf into a charge. A noticeable limp slowed him, but Anna still only had seconds. 

She yanked uselessly at her foot, hoping she could somehow manage to pull it free as she looked for anything nearby that she could so much as lift. There was a sturdy looking stick to her left, not as sturdy as she would have liked, but she had no other option. She picked it up just as a great boom shattered the air. Anna ducked reflexively before realizing how incredibly stupid that was. She hefted her stick, ready to swing, only to see the wolf crumpled and unmoving about five feet in front of her.

“Are you all right?” A voice asked from her right. Anna turned her head in the direction of the voice to see a man, gun in hand, running towards her. Of course if she’d been able to think clearly she would have recognized the voice immediately. It wasn’t until the man was kneeling in front of her, repeating his question, that the shock wore off and she took in the very concerned face of Dean Winchester.

“I’m all right,” she answered a little dazedly. “Thanks to you, I suppose,” she added, noting the gun sitting on the ground beside them and putting two and two together.

His head bowed down and a breath escaped his lips, his shoulders shaking with the force of it. “Thank God,” she heard him say quietly to himself. When he looked up again and his eyes met hers, she could see the relief written across his face. “Good,” he said. “Then let’s get you home.”

Under normal circumstances she would have turned down the offer. Innocent as it may be, if they were to be seen walking alone together, assumptions would be made and rumors spread. This was not a normal circumstance though – something which could be explained on the off chance they ran into anyone – and she found herself incredibly grateful to have company. The safe path she traveled frequently no longer felt safe, and she didn’t want to make the journey alone.

“Yes, please,” she agreed easily. Mr. Winchester chuckled as he stood and offered his hand. Anna started to reach for it, but then remembered her foot.

“I’m afraid my foot is rather badly stuck,” she informed him.

“Oh! Well I- I mean can you-” Mr. Winchester fumbled with his words for a moment and then cleared his throat. “Do you need me to help, or can you get it on your own?” He finally managed to say. Anna noticed the slightest red tint to his cheeks and couldn’t help but think how cute it was to see the normally confident man so ruffled.

“I believe I may need some help,” she admitted. It was possible she could do it on her own, but it would be difficult. Better to save time and just ask for assistance now. 

“Alright,” he agreed, voice sounding a little rough. As he once again knelt down beside her, Anna realized why Mr. Winchester had briefly struggled for words. In order to help her, he would have to touch her. She found herself fighting down her own blush at the thought.

This is perfectly acceptable, she told herself. Not that anyone was likely to be walking by, but even if they did, they could find nothing wrong with this interaction. It was only a gentleman helping a lady in distress. Something he seems to be particularly good at, she thought wryly. 

All humor faded and her breath caught in her throat as he reached for her. He carefully lifted the hem of her skirt, just enough to see her foot and the rocks holding it captive. He studied the scene for a moment and then gently grabbed the heel of her foot, cautiously wiggling it first side to side and then up and down to see how tightly it was stuck. He let her foot go and looked contemplatively at the rocks. “I should be able to move this rock enough for you to pull your foot out.”

Anna looked at the rock doubtfully. It was large enough to be heavy even for a man of Mr. Winchester’s size and could be partially buried snugly in the earth. It would not move easily. “Are you sure?” she asked as he grabbed hold of it with both hands. 

“The alternative is to yank on your foot until it comes loose, something I fear will cause you a great deal of pain. I’ll be able to move it,” he told her confidently when he saw her doubt. “Ready?”

Anna nodded. She watched his fingers turn white against the rock as he tried to pull it toward himself. No doubt, the muscles in his arms were tensed and visibly straining, but she couldn’t tell with his suit coat covering the evidence. It took only a couple of seconds before she felt the pressure against her ankle lessen. She was quick to lift her foot, not wasting any precious seconds. It was still a tight fit, and the rough surfaces of the rocks pressed her boot into her skin, bruising instead of scraping the skin raw. It didn’t feel good, but it wasn’t long before she was free.

Mr. Winchester let go of the rock, face red from exertion. “Does it hurt?” he asked.

“It hurts a little,” she admitted, downplaying the pain. It hurt more than a little, but she wasn’t about to complain. “But I believe I can walk.”

His lips quirked into a smile and, as it always did when he smiled at her, Anna’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said as he stood up. “But that will not be necessary. Kaz is quite capable of carrying you.”

Anna frowned. Who was Kaz? She hadn’t even realized anyone else was here and she certainly didn’t need to be carried. She took the hand he offered to help her up, wincing slightly as she put pressure on her right foot. She quickly adjusted, resting her weight on her left foot. “Kaz?”

“My horse,” he explained. And then, in a teasing tone, “How else do you think I got here?”

“I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it, I suppose.” She tried not to be embarrassed by her oversight. After all, she had a perfectly good reason. She looked over his shoulder, in the direction he had come running from and noticed the large, jet black mare standing there grazing as she patiently waited for her rider to return. “Wow,” she breathed out. “She’s beautiful.” Mr. Winchester beamed with pride.

“She is,” he agreed. He started in her direction and Anna followed, wincing when she stepped on her bad foot. Mr. Winchester noticed of course, and instructed her to stay put. He grabbed his discarded gun off the ground and put it back into the holster tied to the saddle before grabbing the reins and leading the horse over. 

“I know she’s big, but she’s gentle as they come,” he promised. Anna hadn’t been worried. She loved horses, almost as much as she loved music. She was awestruck at the sight of the powerful creature, and giddy at the idea of riding her. Mr. Winchester settled his hands on her waist and, after asking her if she was ready, lifted her up onto his horse’s back. Anna steadied herself in the saddle and then reached out to pet Kaz’s soft, warm neck. Reins in hand, Mr. Winchester encouraged the horse into a walk and started off in the direction of Anna’s house. 

“Why do you suppose he was all the way out here?” Anna wondered aloud. “I’ve never seen a wolf this close to home. I’ve never even heard of anyone seeing one around here.”

“He was desperate,” Mr. Winchester answered. “Did you see how badly he was limping? He was likely very hungry and not strong enough to catch anything, especially on his own, so he was hoping to find an easy kill like a chicken or a sheep.”

Anna hummed, considering this explanation. It certainly made sense. “And what about you?” she asked. “What are you doing all the way out here?” At a guess, this particular stretch of road was over five miles from his house. It was a long way to go just for a ride.

“I was just coming out for a hunt,” he explained. Of course, Anna thought. She should have realized that. In the time she had known him, she had learned that Mr. Winchester was an avid hunter. According to him, there was little he enjoyed more. “Good thing too, or I wouldn’t have been over this way. I certainly wouldn’t have had a gun.”

“Yes, I am grateful you were there. I don’t know that the stick I found would have been enough to deter him, no matter how hard I hit him with it. At the very least I would have been quite hurt, but I do believe it is safe to say that you saved my life. Thank you.”

“You do not owe me your thanks,” he was quick to say. “I am very glad I was here. I cannot even stand to think about what would have happened otherwise.” Though he tried to hide it, Anna caught the emotion in his voice. He took a breath before changing the subject. “And you? What on earth were you doing all the way out here by yourself?”

“Just walking.”

“Do you usually walk so far from home?” 

“No. I was a little caught up in my thoughts today,” she admitted shyly. “I didn’t realize how far I’d gone. I was just about to turn around when I saw the wolf.”

“What were you thinking about so intently?” Mr. Winchester asked. “It must have been terribly interesting to make you so unaware of your surroundings.”

Anna’s breath hitched a little. Not ten minutes ago she had come to the decision she needed to say goodbye to Mr. Winchester. Now here he was, and he wanted to know what she was thinking. If there was ever an opening, this was certainly it. But she found she couldn’t do it. Maybe it was because he had just saved her life and that was a truly poor way to repay him. That seemed a good enough explanation for her hesitation. But if she was honest with herself, Anna knew that the idea of explaining her feelings and asking him to leave her alone was one thing. The reality was a whole other beast, one she could not face. As much as she knew she should, she couldn’t bear the idea of losing his friendship.

“Nothing worth talking about, really,” she answered. The brief glance he threw her way told her all she needed to know. He didn’t buy it. He wasn’t about to push though. “Tell me about Kaz,” she said instead.

Mr. Winchester seemed pleased with her change in topic. “She’s the best horse you’ll find anywhere,” he said affectionately as he patted her on the neck. “She’s strong and smart and quick and she’ll do anything you ask of her.”

“She might be the best looking horse I’ve seen,” Anna offered. She didn’t say it for Mr. Winchester’s benefit, she meant it. There wasn’t a drop of white to be found on the gorgeous mare. Her mane and tail were long and full and soft looking. She was tall and broad and muscular. Even the most amateur horseman could see with one look what a wellbuilt horse she was. “How long have you had her?”

“Raised her myself,” he answered proudly. “She was born out of one of my father’s old mares when I was sixteen. I knew I had to have her. I begged my father for weeks and finally he told me if I put in the effort, if I took care of her and broke her when she was old enough, then she was mine. So I did.” He sounded happy in the way he only did when talking about the things he truly loved.

“Have you ever had a real bond with a horse?” He asked. “Not just a horse that you liked better than all the others, but a real bond? The kind of bond where, when you ride them, it’s like everything is right in the world. Where you know each other so well that it sometimes feels like you can actually read each other’s minds. Where you trust them completely.”

“No,” I answered truthfully, “but it sounds wonderful. She sounds wonderful.”

He looked at the horse with a fond smile. “She’s a one in a million kind of horse.”

Perfect for a one in a million kind of man, she thought.

~~~~~

Her mother was in a tizzy by the time they reached the house, worried by how long Anna had been gone. Seeing her return home with a gentleman – and particularly this gentleman – unchaperoned, only made matters worse. Anna saw the barely contained fury on her face. Until she saw the way Anna favored her ankle after Mr. Winchester helped her off of his horse. Anna hurried to explain what happened as Mr. Winchester helped her to the door. Then the calm, well-mannered lady Anna was used to disappeared as her mother swung between worrying excessively over the whole situation – and Anna’s ankle especially – and profusely thanking Mr. Winchester, all but demanding that he stay for lunch.

Knowing there is only so much one can do in the face of a grateful mother insistent on showing her gratitude, he agreed easily. When Anna protested that surely he wished to go on the hunt he had intended, or possibly to head home, he waved her off, assuring her he was happy to stay. She only hoped he didn’t regret that decision if her mother’s newfound craziness decided to stick around.

A/N 2: First of all, I want to acknowledge the time jump. Initially I planned on this chapter being about the tea at the Winchester's, but then I realized a) I had no idea what in the world to have them talk about and b) too many chapters in a row of just talking gets boring. So I skipped ahead a little bit to add something a little more exciting. Also, let's talk about Kaz. I got the idea for this from another story, Dust by @ravengirl94. Was this person the first to come up with the idea of a black horse named Kaz? No idea. But that's where I heard it, so credit where credit's due. And it's a great series, so if you haven't read it before, check it out!

Tags:

@123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28 @deans-spinster-witch @aylacavebear

[saintsofwarding]

WE SHALL BE MONSTERS

Header by @trout-scout​

Chapter 22: A Dream of Sunlight

"Hey, Donna."

She stood in the candlelight. The candles were different; there were no flowers, no barren branches, no graves, but she stood the same way she always had, still and spectral, the black silk of her veil rustling with the almost imperceptible tilt of her head.

Heisenberg braced the head of his hammer on the ground, watching Donna Beneviento's back and shoulders.

"You're looking..." He gave her a slow once-over. "...not dead. Rose's work, I assume? Or did she get that meathead Redfield at the BSAA to dig your ass from the dirt?"

She said nothing.

Heisenberg lifted his eyebrows. "You listening to me?" he said, snapping his fingers. "Or you off in La-La-Land?"

"She doesn't want to talk to you," Angie hissed.

Heisenberg grimaced. "You always were a creepy little fucker, you know that?"

"She's a part of me, Karl," Donna said, her voice that familiar low, bittersweet rasp Heisenberg knew so well, knew like a bad dream, like the aching pain of a fresh bruise. It had been so long since he'd heard her speak, so many years of believing she was dead, dead with the rest, dead and gone. "You should know that by now."

"Yeah. Still creepy as shit. You're a dollmaker, right? Why not fix her up, give her a cuter face or something?"

"My father made her," Donna said, simply. "The last gift he gave me before he...was gone. I'm not changing her."

She looked round. Heisenberg glimpsed the glint of her single eye beneath her veil. "You understand, I think. Better than you pretend to."

Heisenberg let out a sigh, leaning on the handle of the hammer like it was a cane. "Listen," he said, hooking his finger toward Dimitrescu, Moreau, and Mia on the far side of the cave church. "I'm leaving. Wanted to say take care of the kid or else."

"Or else?" A rare glint of humor lit her voice. It had been years since she'd sounded that way, years since- everything. That had been rare, too. Her happiness. Her contentment. Her peace. Days in the garden, in the kind summer sunlight. Him, and Donna, and Claudia, the three of them fighting their quiet rebellion. His surety that nothing could break them apart.

Nothing but Miranda, of course, inevitably. Nothing but death.

Death, and the grief that came after, and Heisenberg had never been able to look Donna in the eye again, never able to face her after Claudia had died.

Selfish, cowardly. Drowning it under the weight of his work, his vengeance. More machine than man day by day. The more metal he welded to himself, the less of his human flesh would show.

Now his factory was gone. Now, the engines were silent. And now, as ever, he wanted more and more and more. Now, as ever, he yearned for the impossible. Not armies to lay waste to Miranda's years of murder and manipulation. Not bloodshed and vengeance. Not even power- his own, Rose's, whatever. Now, all he wanted was rest. Peace.

For all of them.

Even Alcina deserved that.

"Or else-" Heisenberg began. "Or else I'll bash your fuckin' skull in."

Donna laughed, the sound soft and silvery. "I understand. You care for her."

"Heh. The kid's not too bad."

"You have taken care of her for many years. Is that right?"

"Yeah."

A slight nod. "Good."

"Sure, sure, give me a halo and call me a saint. Donna- uh." He shifted, back and forth. "Sorry," he said. "About- fuck, about all of it. Your sister. What I did to you, to her..."

"That was Miranda, not you. I see that now."

"Can't blame everything on Miranda." He paused. "Well, yeah, I can, but- uh, you know what I mean..."

"I miss her," Donna said. She cradled Angie to her chest, her knuckles sharp through the delicate skin of her hands. "I miss her so much."

She meant Claudia. Of course. He ground his teeth together, half-turning away. He couldn't deal with this shit right now, not with everything, not with Rose the way she was. "Yeah. Me fuckin' too, Donna. Listen, good chat, but-"

"Karl."

He stopped.

A beat-

Then he turned.

She'd faced him. She'd removed her veil. Her fine-boned face was lit softly by the candlelight, her black hair mussed from being beneath her headgear, her single dark eye steady, set on him. He'd forgotten how beautiful she was under the veil.

"For a long time, I..." she began. "I think I was dead. Before...before Winters, I mean. I think I was dead but my body did not know it yet. A ghost trapped within a doll. And my true death, when Winters gave it to me, was a kind of relief. Locked in the Black God's dreams, I finally found rest. I felt nothing there. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," Heisenberg said, softly.

"And now...maybe. There is...life again. Or the beginnings of life. And I cannot help but be glad. And I am...I think..."

A faint smile touched her lips. "...Happy."

"Heh. It's a good look for you." He tilted his head, looking at her over the rim of his glasses. "Always knew you were tougher than most gave you credit for."

Donna nodded, her momentary smile fading.

"Claudia would be...proud of you," she said, halting, a little uncertain. "Of who you are. What you've done. And happy, too. That you remember her. That you're here now."

"That we both are, Donna," Heisenberg told his sister, as gently as he could bear.

And this time, Donna Beneviento's true smile- unseen for so long, missed and craved for so long- trembled on her face. Soft as the candlelight, rare and sweet as a mountain flower opening in the sun.

***

He hated goodbyes. So when he left to join Moreau and Dimitrescu, he didn't give one to Rose or Donna. He looked back at them both, standing together in the candlelit church, and gave them a nod.

"Don't fuck this up," he said, with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Good luck to you, too," Rose called. He grinned at her, taking her in.

If this was-

Nah. Don't think that way. Only make you mushy. He turned, and away he strode, and didn't look back at them again.

"We good?" Mia asked him quietly as he grabbed her arm at the doorway leading from the church.

"Yeah. Ready to go and slice you open in the fish-man's hovel. Your lucky day, sweetheart."

She let out a shaky laugh. "Believe it or not," she said, "I've had worse."

"Wait," Rose called, from behind them. "...Mom."

Mia stopped with a slight wince. She caught Heisenberg's eye, then looked back, Heisenberg keeping his grip on her arm. Rose looked pale, but she faced Mia down, not looking away.

"Good luck to both of you," she said. "I...I mean that."

Mia gave her a small smile, a nod.

Then they moved on, and the church doors shuddered shut behind them, and Rose was gone at last.

Moreau waited down the passageway, at the shoreline of a flooded subterranean chamber, black water lapping inches from his slimy, pallid toes. Dimitrescu looked faintly nauseated, one hand propped on her prodigious hip, but Heisenberg pushed past her and toward their brother.

"What's good, freak?" he said.

"I..." Moreau pointed. "I have to go through...there."

"There? The fuckin' lake?"

"No! The passageway." One eye faced him, looking at him with a kind of baleful reproach. "The tunnels, Karl," he added, as if speaking to a particularly slow child.

"What tunnels? You finally cracked?"

"The underwater tunnels! There are hundreds and hundreds of them. You didn't know?"

"I- uh. No, guess not."

Dimitrescu let out a derisive snort. "That's the first time I've heard you admit your inadequacies, Heisenberg. Miraculous. Perhaps you've finally grown a sense of decorum after all."

"The day you grow a humble bone in your oversized body is gonna be the one for miracles," Heisenberg snorted. "Come on, then, Moreau, show us what you got."

Moreau dithered. "It's...um..."

Heisenberg leaned closer, tightening his grip on his hammer. His pulse threaded through his palm; the memory of helicopter blades churning the air filled his head. "What is it? Get a fuckin' move on. We don't have time to dick around."

"I...I'm h-h-having a hard time-"

"-Mutating?" Heisenberg let out a bark of laughter. "Don't we all fuckin' know that, fishstick."

"Oh, please," Dimitrescu muttered, rolling her eyes. "What a nightmare."

"Shut up, bloodbag," Heisenberg snapped. "Unless you got something useful to say, keep those fangs hidden-"

"Useful! As if you could know anything about usefulness!"

"Stop," Moreau moaned, clutching his head as he swung back and forth and back and forth in anxiety. Mia was staring at Heisenberg with a kind of appalled look. "Please...stop...I don't...I don't want to fight anymore..."

"Hey," Mia whispered. Heisenberg cut off his next retort as she knelt by Moreau's side, her hand on his shoulder. She began to stroke his arm, slow and soothing, her sweater sleeve pulled up over her hand to protect it from his acidic discharge. "Hey...Moreau, it's gonna be all right. You need to calm down. Okay? Listen to my voice."

"I-I-I-I'm gonna disappoint everyone, like always, I want Moppet, she can help me, where's Moppet!"

"She's, uh, not here right now. But I'm here. Breathe for me. Can you breathe? It looks like..." She glanced up at his hunchback, pulsating so wildly it looked like basketballs in a waterbed. "It seems like your Cadou is connected to you in such a way that any emotional strain puts extreme stress on it, threatens to overload its mycelial connections to you. That's probably why you have such a hard time with it."

Heisenberg settled back, eyebrows lifted. Even Dimitrescu had dispensed with her permanent resting bitch face to watch what Mia was doing.

"You...you know what's wrong?" Moreau stammered. The pulsating began to slow.

Mia nodded. "I know, it's got to hurt. Just keep doing what you're doing. You can control this, Mr. Moreau."

"Can I?" Moreau whispered wetly.

"You can."

"I can," Moreau echoed, his voice thick with wonderment. "I can!"

Mia stepped back as Moreau tottered forward, as he lifted his arms, as he tipped off the lip of the subterranean lake and hit the black water with a great plash.

He sank in a plume of bubbles.

"Shit," Heisenberg said, peering down after him. "Either you just worked some kind of miracle, or we lost him forever."

"Yes, well, the arguing was going great, so." Mia glanced up at Heisenberg. "...When I worked for the Connections, part of my job was, um..."

He tipped down his glasses. "Yeah?"

She drew a short breath. "I would imprint on the BOWs. Part of that involved establishing an emotional connection I could exploit to control them, if they began to rebel against their genetic programming. It didn't work with Eveline in the end, but I guess old training dies slow."

"Guess it does-"

The lake vibrated.

Heisenberg looked up, cutting off his next words. So did Mia. Even Dimitrescu stood straighter, the glistening razor tips of her claws sliding from her fingertips. Another vibration hummed from the lake, so strong he felt it in his boot soles through the rock at his feet. The black water slopped at the lake shore. Waves broke out across its surface, choppy as the sea in storm.

Something huge was heaving down there, something pale, something rising.

The water glassed into a vast swell; Mia stumbled back, but Heisenberg stayed where he was, watching it grow and grow-

The swell burst, and a roar filled the cavern, echoing off its distant ceiling. A wave of icy water drenched Heisenberg to the skin; he lifted his dripping hair from his eyes as great jaws snapped at the air, gnashing, tooth-lined, sweeping back and back into a body covered with a pelt of rolling, tumorous eyes.

"-And thank fuck for that!" Heisenberg said, with a laugh at the shocked look on Mia's face.

Heisenberg had only seen Moreau's mutant form a few times- he didn't make it a habit to go down to his reservoir except the time or two Miranda had forced him to go fix the sluice gate's operating mechanism, and, once, during a period of almost unendurable boredom, when he'd gone to borrow some of Moreau's movies. Now, as it reared before him, a mutant lungfish from hell, he couldn't help but stifle a dickish grin.

"Moreau, Moreau," he said, with appreciation. "You sexy beast. I know it's hardly the time and place, but I gotta say, you never looked better."

"Play nice," Mia whispered, giving him a little slap on the arm.

"Come on!" The jaws split wide; within, nestled like the stamen inside a particularly fucked-up flower, was a pallid, twisted humanoid torso with Moreau's familiar snaggleteeth. It flapped its hands in an excited gesture. "There's room for everyone! Get in! Get in!"

"You can't be serious," Dimitrescu said.

"Alcina, you bathe in blood," Heisenberg said.

"Blood," she told him, "is delicious."

"Whatever," Heisenberg said. "Sick of this stupid conversation anyway."

His hammer was off his shoulders in a heartbeat. Before she could protest, react, stop him, he'd smacked it full-force into her lower back; she stumbled forward with a scream, straight into Moreau's jaws.

"Better hustle," he told Mia, holding out his arm. She grabbed his hand, and as they hurried after Dimitrescu, Moreau's jaws closed over them in a snap, trapping them in warm, wet, stinking darkness.

During the long, lightless, airless journey, she never once let go.

***

Moreau spat them onto the reservoir shore in a truly astoundingly-vile spray of filthy water, saliva, acid, and bile.

Heisenberg sailed through the air and crashed to the shore, soaked trench coat slapping against his body. Seconds later his hammer thudded to the damp ground, inches from his head. He rolled over, blinking away the worst of Moreau's slime. Mia was sprawled a few feet away, looking like a Barbie who'd been dunked in a septic tank by some psychopathic toddler.

"You alive, Winters?" Heisenberg said.

"I...I think so-" She climbed to her hands and knees, then grimaced as she shook a dead fish from her hair. "Ugh- this is gonna take like twenty showers to scrub off, isn't it-"

Enraged shouts filled the air; he looked up to see Dimitrescu stalking toward him, her long black hair now matted with Moreau-vomit.

"You-" she cried, voice shaking so hard she could scarcely get whole words out. "You- vile, you- traitorous, wretched-"

"Alci, Alci, can't we just be friends?"

Her hand snapped out; her claws slid free. "I would rather die again."

Fuck this. Fuck her. They could pull this without the world's biggest bitch interfering. "That can be arranged-"

"Stop it!"

The wail cut between them, a howl of such unprecedented force Alcina actually did stop, and Heisenberg too, the both of them turning in shock to the sight of Moreau, quivering, crawling from the water in his humanoid form once more, clad only in a pair of ragged trousers. Mia crouched by his side, helping haul him onto the icy shore.

"Stop it," he said again. "You...ruin everything, both of you! You made Mother mad. You made us all so uncomfortable. You need to stop now. And if you don't..."

His voice dropped, deep as a well and nearly as sinister. "I'm...I'm gonna transform, and when I eat you this time...I'm not gonna spit you out."

Heisenberg began to laugh. Dimitrescu gave him a flat look, but he didn't stop, bracing his hands on his knees, doubled over as the laughs turned to ugly hacking coughs, spewing excess water over the shore.

"Fuck," he managed, between coughs. "Heh...little Sal's grown himself some roe."

"We need to go." Moreau shambled toward him, pushing him aside with a sassy little shoulder-clock. "Hurry, hurry."

Heisenberg watched him and Mia go, then glanced up at Alcina, removed his hat, and shook his head like a soaked lycan, making sure to get as much slime-water on her as possible.

They hiked up the snowy hillside. Below stretched the reservoir, its great sluice-gate standing like a triumphal arch through the blizzard. Spotlights speared the snow, illuminating dizzying flurries of white; Heisenberg sent out his awareness as the helicopter roared past, lights grazing the snow, the powerful beam barely missing their group, but the machine was too far off; his power brushed it, and then it was gone.

"Hunting us down," Heisenberg muttered. He glanced at Dimitrescu. "Makes for a change, don't it?"

"It's right up here." Moreau pointed as he scrambled up a narrow path cut into the hillside. "Right-"

His words crumpled into a gasp as one bare foot crunched down on crystal. Heisenberg joined him, silent as he surveyed the hillside before them. Mist rolled away, exposing not a clean expanse of snow and rock, but a killing field.

Lycans. Dozens of them. Each and every one of them: dead. By now, they were little more than crumbling heaps of crystal, ribs gaping open to the sky, the remnants of great fanged skulls pocked with crater-like bullet holes.

Heisenberg bent to pluck a tooth from the snow, a single curved cuspid the length of a dagger. He bounced it in his palm. A varcolac tooth. There had to be three or four skeletons big enough to be varcolac out here. Ouroboros had mowed them down, had used their fancy anti-mutant rounds on them. Had blasted them into nothingness, ancient beasts bristling with boyars' spears. Consigned them to the dirt.

Ouroboros must have cleared this hillside in their initial sweep of the place, and the lycans, being lycans, had neither the brains nor a hive leader to command them to fall back. So they'd died, every last one of them.

He flicked the tooth to the snow. Stupid things.

"Humanity," Dimitrescu murmured, her voice dripping with scorn, and something else. Sorrow, Heisenberg thought. Strange. Every time she'd been forced to interact with lycans before, she'd dismissed them as brutish beasts beneath her notice. "A plague. All-consuming. What else do they do but destroy, to assure themselves they are not monstrous, to conquer their own fears of the dark."

Mia lowered her head, her gaze hard.

"They aren't all daughter-killers, Dimitrescu," Heisenberg said. "Don't you remember being human?"

She curled her lip. "I remember my weakness, my mortal frailty. I remember my own blood poisoning me, even as I clung so desperately to life and all its...infinite pleasures. Miranda's gift was salvation. And despite..."

She paused, then gave an elegant little toss of her head. "Mm. No matter. The mortals are beneath me. Prey. Nothing more."

"Miranda would have killed you, Alci, you and your daughters. That was her plan, y'know. Bump us all off to awaken the megamycete. She didn't want any failed experiments hanging on her apron strings to deal with once she got little Eva back. It was gonna be just her and her kid. No room in that picture-perfect life for you."

"Miranda gave me everything," Dimitrescu snapped.

"Oh, c'mon, you can't believe that. I saw the inside of your twisted little mind, remember. Miranda would have taken everything, too. Was your castle worth that?"

Her eyes were bright, gold flaring to fire, but she said nothing. She didn't hit him, either, which Heisenberg took as a victory.

He stepped over the next lycan corpse as Moreau shambled on. Before he got too far, Dimitrescu's voice, softer than he'd ever heard it save when she'd addressed her daughters, stopped him in his tracks.

"'We shall be monsters, cut off from the world,'" she said. He turned to look back at her in the dancing snow. "'But on that account we shall be more attached to one another.'"

Heisenberg nodded. "'Oh, my creator,'" he muttered, bitter as old blood. "'Make me happy.'"

Alcina's eyes found his.

"It was worth it, Heisenberg," she told him. "To me."

"Hm." He shifted his stance, propping his hammer on the opposite shoulder. "Is it still?"

She gave a sniff. "I'm merely surprised you can read."

He grinned. "The movie was better," he said, just to see the exquisite look of disgust on her face.

Moreau headed up a hillside, covered in a dense forest of pine and scrub. Below stretched the dry part of the lake, the reservoir drained of its water, exposing the decomposed remnants of an old flank of the village, a fishing town long-since drowned to make Miranda's power station. The old windmills, once used for wind power, stood still and slumping into ruin, sails reduced to bare scaffolding.

The place had been a shithole before, but now it was just sad, no longer given even the barest efforts of maintenance. Heisenberg couldn't really blame Moreau for moving into the castle; given his old digs, almost anything was an improvement.

"It's here! It's here!" Moreau raked aside a wall of overgrown briars and tree branches to reveal a small clearing atop the hill.

A collection of shacks stood in the clearing. Moreau's 'clinic'. Heisenberg hadn't bothered coming here more than was necessary. The experiments Moreau conducted here were pathetic. He could make lycans, sure, and the varcolac had been inspired, but watching ghouls pop like rotten fruit more often than not just wasn't his style. Waste of a perfectly good corpse.

Still, the whole operation had worked great for Miranda. There was never any shortage of dead bodies in her town, and cutting losses had been worth it, given the amount of shock troops Moreau's clinic churned out for her. Glory to Mother Miranda, and all that shit. Almost romantic; why give a dame a rose when you could give her an army of putrefying wolf-men instead?

Now, though, he couldn't help but feel a certain poetic bemusement. To think. This shitty hovel, this sad little workshop, was about to save their collective asses. Who knew.

"I hope it's still here," Moreau was mumbling. He didn't head for the shacks themselves, but began nosing about in the snow. "Ohhh...I hope the lycans didn't dig it up..."

"You lose a penny or something?" Heisenberg called.

"No, no...oh!" Moreau straightened, an inspired look in his eyes. "Karl, would you...would you please...look? With your special powers?"

"Yeah, Karl," Mia said, a hand over her mouth like that might stifle her snort of laughter. "Look with your special powers."

"I'm gonna break your neck after all," Heisenberg muttered. "Fine, fishstick."

He let out his breath and reached out with his abilities. A ripple thrummed across the snow, a faint blue haze appearing around his body. Almost instantly, he found it: a rectangular shape bound in strips of metal. With a flick of his finger, it burst from the snow, showering clods of dark earth. The large wooden seaman's chest dropped to the snow with a rattle of rusted hinges.

Moreau pawed around in his clothes for an equally rusted key.

"My medicines!" He pulled open the chest. Inside glinted glass bottles, cakes of dried herbs bound in paper and twine, medical supplies of a distinctly more-modern bent, even a mummified Cadou in a stoppered jar. "Good. We can do it with this."

"Yes, we can." Heisenberg examined a bottle of chemicals. "You bury all this by yourself, fishstick?"

"Yes." Moreau's eyes darted back and forth, as if Heisenberg was about to make some kind of crack at his expense.

Tempting, but Heisenberg really needed all this stuff. "Nice going." He looked at Mia, standing in the snow.

"Now," he said, "it's time for Operation Kill That Bitch, attempt two."

***

Inside the dank, decaying, freezing confines of Moreau's Clinic, the only light came from the faint filter of moonlight through the gaps in the roof, and the high beam of Heisenberg's flashlight. He kept it floating around the level of his shoulder, aimed down on Mia as she lay back on the table.

They'd cleaned it as best they could, had lain down an old tarp Moreau had produced from somewhere, but even so, Mia shivered where she lay, stripped down once more to her underclothes, her skin exposed to the cold.

An IV tube bled chemicals into her arm; once again Heisenberg, his coat slung over a nearby chair, his sleeves rolled to his biceps, watched her closely as the painkillers hit her bloodstream, as she began that slow, gradual slump into numbness.

Moreau limped around the shack, muttering, arranging the tarp, while Dimitrescu sat in a corner, her eyes glowing like a cat's in the semidarkness. Heisenberg was silent, Mia silent, though she watched him all the while.

He caught her eye. "Here we go again, Winters."

"Better luck this time?"

"Heh. Don't jinx it." He leaned on the table, over her. "You got any dark depths of the soul to reveal this time? Any revelations? Or shall we get to it?"

"Just one thing, Heisenberg."

"Yeah? Make sure it's not too mushy. The smell of this place is making me sick enough already."

"There wasn't ever any necrotoxin," she told him. "That stuff I injected you with? Just a sedative."

"No shit."

"I..." She frowned. "Wait. Did you...did you know?"

"After the first couple days and I didn't feel any worse? Yeah, Mia, doesn't take a fuckin' genius to figure out you slipped me the sugar pills."

"Damn," Mia said. "Waste of good sedative, then."

Heisenberg burst into laughter. "Mia, Mia," he said. "You crack me up. But I gotta say, you had me there for a minute, y'know?"

She gave him a dry smile. "I know."

"Hey, you can make it up to me. If you survive this-"

"Not helping, Heisenberg."

"-I was, uh, pretty intrigued by those reports of you from Dulvey...chainsaw, was it? Not bad, not bad. Wanna show me sometime?"

"In your dreams."

He winked. "Already there, sweetheart. You ready?"

Her fingers twitched, brushing his hand on the table. He felt the heat of her skin, even through his gloves.

"I'm ready, Karl," she told him. "Do it."

So he did.

She opened up like a purse. Moreau's scalpels were decent enough once he'd honed them sharp with his power, and as he began his examination he slipped once more into his old routine- examine, assess, maintain, repair. Mia's blood soon coated his gloves and scarred forearms, matting his arm hair to a gory tangle, the smell of mold and blood filling the shack like a warm, metallic exhale. Just like old times.

Dimitrescu's pupils narrowed to pinpoints. Heisenberg could tell how starved she was: the hollows in her cheeks, the faint cracks appearing on her skin, exposed now that she wasn't slathering herself in a thick layer of lead-based makeup, gave her away.

Still, she held herself back, and simply watched, her stare somewhere between hunger and yearning.

"You look good on the inside," Heisenberg said, with a chuckle. "Nice healthy muscle tone. Heh heh."

Mia didn't answer. She'd gone paper-white, her bruised eyelids squeezed shut, her lips fluttering. Even with the suppressants, her healing factor made this difficult; veins and tendons kept worming around his hands, trying to reconnect and pull her open chest cavity back together.

"Have you found it?" Moreau pressed his hands to the tabletop, leaning over to peer into the mess.

"No. Shut up and back off."

"Hurry," Mia whispered.

"Huh?"

"Something's...I think...something's wrong..."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"I...I hear her..." Her lips fluttered; her hands curled on the table, spackled with blood and mutagen; it pooled around her, dripping in rivulets to the filthy floor. "She's...she's..."

"Fight it, Mia. Hold it the fuck together."

Her eyes snapped open, bright with tears. "She's happy," Mia whispered. "This is exactly what she wanted."

Heisenberg's hands met something foreign. Not an organ, not bone or cartilage. He spun the scalpel into his hand and sliced in; the thing came free with a slick crackle, trailing long, whipping tendrils that grasped and thrashed at his hand and wrist.

A Cadou. But a sickly one; its pinkish surface was spotted with dark blots, its bulbous head dented and deflated.

No, not sickly, exactly. Half-grown.

She reached inside, Mia had said. Pulled out her heart.

This was a chunk of Miranda's Cadou. Like he'd once given a chunk of his own to Teodora, had inflicted the Black God's gift on her to save her life. The thing squealed and writhed in his hand as Mia lay beneath him, gasping for breath, her wound already beginning to heal up.

If it's not Miranda here-

Understanding came like a lash of lightning through him, so strong his own Cadou gave an unsettled twist. No. No.

"You were the experiment," he heard himself rasp. "It was never you harboring Miranda's consciousness at all."

Compatibility, Miranda had told Mia, but Mia was the mother, wasn't she, the mother of the body, the vessel, the genetics unassailable.

He'd gotten it wrong.

The ceremony was not over yet.

Even now, even now, Miranda had the upper hand, the final word. Even now she had lashed out and got him in the heart.

"It was never you," Heisenberg said again. "It was always her. Always Rose."

With a hum of his power, a crackle of blue-white sparks, the misshapen Cadou burst in a shower of gore. The scalpel streaked away and impaled itself in a wall.

Another slash of his power, hard enough to shake the entire building. The shack door burst open and he strode out into the snow, surrounded by a whirring storm of metal objects, nails yanked  from the shack, medical detritus, all of it pulled along in his wake.

The cold lashed at him. He didn't feel it. He went to the hillside, looking out toward the mountain, the great waterfall thundering down from some hidden source at its peak.

He couldn't see House Beneviento at this distance, but Rose and Donna had to be nearly there by now.

And when they were-

And when Rose looked too deep-

All he could do, for all his power, was watch her die.