#I know we've done something similar before but it was ages ago

[soulaires]

I need me some Kenji kishimoto fics!!! Maybe like he's drunk and aarom calls u so u so u have to pick him up and he's being a lil suggestive and goofy and fluffy and stuff!!!

My Girl.

pairings: kenji kishimoto x f!reader

summary: kenji is drunk and absolutely have no brakes.

warnings: ooc, alcohol, drunk, suggestive themes.

« words: 1,659 ┇ao3┇reblogs are appreciated! »

authors note: I know this ask is ages ago but i just cant write something very similar to my old one so I did some twist to make it different. Enjoy! Also not proofread and I wrote this at midnight. Excuse it lmao.

Kenji had always been a tough nut to crack, but that night, the alcohol had done its magic, leaving him in a state of blissful inebriation. He, along with Aaron and  Adam, had gathered for a boys' night out. 

Kenji had decided it was high time for a boys' night out. He'd invited his best buddies, Warner and Adam, for a night of fun and revelry. Little did they know that Kenji had a surprise in store for them, something that would shatter their preconceived notions and send their jaws dropping. They didn't know that you and Kenji had been secretly dating for a while.

As the night progressed, Kenji became increasingly intoxicated, his inhibitions fading away like smoke in the wind. He couldn't help himself, and in his drunken state, he decided to let the cat out of the bag. With a wide, goofy grin, he began to regale his friends with stories about his amazing girlfriend (you).

"Guys, guys," he began, clearly intoxicated already, "you won't believe it, but I have the most amazing, pretty, talented, and hot girlfriend in the world!"

"I'm the luckiest guy, seriously." He slurred, leaning heavily on his friend's shoulder.

His friends exchanged bewildered glances. Adam chuckled, "Kenji, man, you've had one too many. Are you sure you're not just imagining this incredible girlfriend of yours?"

Warner and Adam exchanged incredulous glances, thinking that Kenji was simply caught up in the moment, or perhaps he was just too drunk to know what he was saying. "Come on, kishimoto," Warner chuckled, "you've had a few too many. Are you sure you're not just... imagining things?"

Kenji, however, was adamant. "No, I'm not making this up, guys. I'm serious. She's real, and she's mine!"

Adam chimed in, clearly amused, "Well, we've known you for a while, Kenji, and you've never mentioned a girlfriend before. Are you sure you're not delusional?"

Kenji shook his head vigorously, causing his unruly hair to flop around. "No, I'm not imagining. She's real, and she's mine!"

Warner, never one to care, chimed in, "Come on, kishimoto. You've been known to exaggerate when you've had a few drinks. You’re just being delusional."

"No, no, no!" Kenji insisted. "I'll prove it to you guys. I'll call her right now!"

Kenji clumsily fished his phone out of his pocket, fumbling with the buttons and nearly dropping it on the floor. He scrolled through his contacts, searching for the one name that meant the world to him. Finally, he found it— My Pretty Girl 🤍.

With unsteady hands, Kenji pressed the call button, the phone ringing in his ear. He leaned back and grinned at his friends, pride bubbling in his drunken heart. "You'll see!"

As his fingers danced across the screen, Warner and Adam watched with growing skepticism. They fully expected Kenji to dial a random number or play a prank on them. However, they couldn't have been more wrong.

Kenji, with a triumphant grin, put his phone on speaker mode as the call connected. Suddenly, a sweet and soothing voice filled the room, uttering, "Kenji? Baby? Do you need me to pick you up now?"

Warner and Adam exchanged a perplexed glance before their eyes widened in shock. The voice on the other end sounded awfully familiar, and the nickname 'Baby' was a clear giveaway.

Kenji beamed with delight, staring at his friends. "See! I told you she's real!"

Adam recovered from his shock first, shouting, “YOU ARE DATING Y/N ???”

Kenji ignored their comments and continued talking to you. "Pretty girl, I miss you."

You couldn't help but smile. "I miss you too, Kenji. Do you need a ride home?" 

Kenji's eyes sparkled as he leaned closer to the phone, his voice laced with a hint of flirtation. "I need more than just a ride home, Y/N."

As the night came to a close, Kenji's friends decided it was time for him to go home. He was, after all, unable to stand on his own at this point. Kenji's intoxication levels continued to rise. 

Kenji had other plans, though. He was in high spirits and wanted nothing more than to see you. "I need my baby. I can't stand being away from her" he declared, much to his friends' amusement. 

When it was finally time to leave, Warner knew they couldn't leave Kenji alone in his state. He grabbed Kenji's phone and scrolled through his contacts to find the number saved under "My Pretty Girl 🤍."

The call is connected, and your voice on the other end can be heard. "Kenji? Is everything okay?"

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me. Come pick your drunk boyfriend up before he embarrasses himself.” 

“Oh Warner, hey. Yeah I’ll pick him up. Please give him water to drink to sober up.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, voice thick with sarcasm. 

When you arrived, Kenji was in no condition to stand, let alone walk. He practically lunged at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling into your neck. "You're amazing," he slurred, his warm breath tickling your skin. "So pretty. So hot."

You couldn't help but laugh, feeling a warmth in your heart. "Thank you, kenj."

As Kenji stumbled toward you, he was all smiles, his neediness and clinginess on full display. He hugged you tightly, whispered sweet compliments in your ear, and planted tender kisses along your neck.

You couldn't help but smile, your heart filled with love for this man who, even in his most inebriated state, couldn't contain his affection for you.

As you left the bar, Kenji couldn't keep his hands off you. He was floating, and every step was punctuated by laughter, stolen kisses, and playful touches.

He kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your arm. 

"You're so pretty," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear as he placed sweet kisses on your neck. "So, so pretty." 

You couldn't help but blush at his compliments, despite knowing that he was under the influence. Kenji, always the charming one, had now added a touch of playfulness to his usually affectionate nature. You decided to tease him a little. "Kenji, are you trying to sweet-talk your way into getting a ride home?" 

Kenji let out a soft, tipsy chuckle, his lips grazing your earlobe. "Mhm, no. A way to make you scream my name tonight, though."

"Kenji, you're a mess," you chuckled, wrapping your arms around him as he swayed slightly.

"I'm not a mess, I'm a masterpiece!" he declared proudly, peppering your face with a series of sloppy kisses.

As you guys made your way towards the exit, Kenji kept stealing glances at you, his compliments flowing as freely as the liquor in his veins. "You're the most beautiful person in the world, you know that, right?" he slurred. His words were genuine, even if they were slightly incoherent.

The journey from the bar to the car was a wobbly one. Kenji couldn't seem to walk in a straight line, and he insisted on holding your hand with a grip that told you just how much he needed your support.

Once you guys were safely ensconced in the car, Kenji wasted no time in attempting to become one with the passenger seat. "I love this car," he mumbled as he hugged the headrest.

His antics didn't stop there. Kenji kept stealing kisses every few minutes, his lips landing anywhere they pleased – your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your neck, your hands, even your ear. It was all rather comical and sweet, in a completely ridiculous way. "You taste like strawberries and sex" he remarked with a dreamy look in his eyes.

The car finally came to a halt outside you and his shared apartment building, and Kenji's drunken demeanor was still in full swing. He insisted on being carried upstairs, which was a considerable feat considering his weight. 

When you arrived home, Kenji clung to you, reluctant to let you go. He peppered your face with kisses, laughing and whispering sweet nothings.

Kenji, now sitting on the couch, looked at you with puppy dog eyes. "I need more kisses," he pouted, his bottom lip sticking out.

You couldn't help but oblige. His neediness was endearing, and even though he was drunk, you couldn't resist his affection. 

As you kissed his forehead, down to his cheeks, nose and to his lips, he quickly deepened it, a groan falling from his lips as he pulled you closer to him, sitting you to his lap.

"Kenji.. we can't. You are drunk" you said as you pulled away, while your boyfriend chased your lips.

"But baby, I need you right now, please. I fucking need to feel you." He insisted. 

"We can't. You are drunk, love" 

"My pretty baby, my best girl, my baby doll. Let me take care of you, please. I just need you so bad.." he begged you once again and you could not help but to let out a whimper. 

"I know you want to, princess." 

"Not when you are clearly drunk, okay?" You reasoned out and he pouted. He fucking pouted.

So, you stood up, playing 'Dancing Queen' by Abba as you invited him to dance.

The living room turned into a make-shift dance floor as you guys swayed to the melody, his head resting on your shoulder.

He began to mimic the bizarre dance moves of a famous pop star, twirling around the room with an exaggerated flair that left you both in fits of giggles. "I should audition for 'Dance moms,' don't you think?" he teased, striking a ridiculous pose.

As the hours passed, Kenji's antics faded, and he succumbed to the heavy pull of sleep. You tucked him into bed, his face still wearing a contented smile, and you could not help but smile back.

[sinking-in-a-gentle-pool-of-wine]

Hii!! I love your writing so, so much-- it's soo good!! I'm not sure if you're taking requests, but I'll send it anyway :)

What about something where Sebastian and Ominis are fighting, and the reader tries to intervene, but Sebastian just starts fighting with her as well? So she goes on a mission (they were supposed to go together) alone? And he's looking for her and asks Ominis, and he tells him that she's in the hospital wing. And he goes to her and he apologizes?

Thank you so much, and if you don't like the idea, and you don't want to write it, it's perfectly fine!

HELLO. I’VE DONE IT. I… may have gone a titch overboard—I got really invested. Thank you sm for your request. Here it is (if you wanna see a nicer formatted one (italics, etc.) check out my Wattpad it’s on there too!):

Keep Me Honest // Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Angst/Action?/Fluff

Word count: 4k+

(All characters aged to 18+ (really just ‘cause, there’s nothing in here that requires it))

———————————————

“I don’t care that no one got hurt!” Ominis shouts. “You broke your promise, Sebastian.”

You stop in your tracks. You’ve just descended into the Undercroft, ready to meet with Sebastian for a practice session, when you overhear the stirrings of an argument between the two boys you know best. You quickly duck into the shadows, not wishing to interrupt. It wasn't clear to you yet which of their arguments this one was: would it rise to a head and resolve, or would one of them storm off in the heat of the moment and drag the conflict on? You could never tell with these two; both had quite the flair for the dramatic.

“Look,” you hear Sebastian start tersely. “You and I agree that Anne should be able to protect herself. How is this any different?”

“Do you think I woke up yesterday?” Ominis jabs back. “Protecting oneself does not require Unforgivable Curses!”

“Sometimes crucio is all that a goblin will listen to. Anyway, it's already been done, Ominis. What do you expect me to do about it now?”

You knew Anne had been trying to get back on the saddle in terms of spell practice, but you had no idea what all Sebastian had been teaching her during his visits to Feldcroft. You weren't sure how you felt about it, but if Anne had asked him, you supposed it was all right... Ominis did have a tendency to shy away from knowledge that posed any similarity to dark magic. But all the same...

“Promise me that you will never teach Anne another spell that puts her morality in danger. That puts yours in danger, too,” Ominis says.

“I can promise you that I'll not tell you the next time I teach Anne a spell.”

“That's not how we've ever worked, Sebastian, and you know it.”

That was it. Before you know it, you're striding into the torch light to provide some back up. Ominis was right: the three of them had been a team since as long as you had known them. Cutting Ominis out was not the answer; you knew Anne wouldn't stand for it either. As you round the corner, you finally see the scene of the argument.

Ominis was standing ramrod straight, clenching and unclenching his fists, bright red nail marks in his palms. Meanwhile, Sebastian looked erratic as ever, his hair sticking out at all ends from messing with it too much, and his wand held loosely in his hand as he paced back and forth, casting shadows on the wall behind him. When he turns for his next loop, he sees you and halts, his hand tightening on the wand and his eyes wide.

“What are you doing here?” he demands.

Your mouth hangs open, unspeaking, for a few seconds. You don't know what you had expected him to say, but it wasn't that.

“Y/N?” Ominis asks, unmoving.

“Yes, it's me,” you respond. “I got here a few moments ago and... overheard you two arguing.”

Ominis lightly kicks at the ground, agitated.

“Well, if you're here to intervene, don't bother,” he says. “I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of you two galavanting off to who-knows-where to put yourselves in danger despite my warnings, and I'm even more tired of you coming to Sebastian's defense no matter the transgression.”

“Actually, I... wanted to second your wish, Ominis.”

Ominis's jaw drops slightly; he clearly hadn't been expecting your support. Sebastian, on the other hand, looks mutinous.

“Seb,” you start, “I know you want Anne to be safe--we all do!--but going behind our backs isn't the way to do it. Particularly Ominis's.”

“When he refuses to be reasonable,” Sebastian starts, shaking his head, “what choice do I have?”

“Did Anne come to you with the wish to learn Crucio, though?” you push.

“Why does it matter whose idea it was? She seemed happy to learn it!”

“You know she does all she can to please you,” Ominis cuts in.

“So what?” Sebastian responds. “You think I manipulated her--accidentally? How is that even possible?”

“No one's saying you manipulated Anne, Seb—”

“Stop calling me 'Seb'!”

This time, you really weren't expecting him to say that. Your face flushes, and you take a step back. Perhaps you had misread this situation--this friendship, you think. You thought you and Sebastian had grown infinitely closer this last year... that he wanted to tell you everything the same way you did him. That fluttery feeling you'd gotten every time you received a piece of exciting news lately because it meant you'd get to tell Sebastian--it feels empty and silly now. How could you have not noticed until now?--that this feeling hadn't been reciprocated.

You take a deep breath, watching Sebastian white-knuckle the wand in his hand. Willow wood.

“I'm not one of you guys,” you start. “I know that. But Ominis is your family as much as Anne. You owe it to him to be honest.”

You see Ominis's face soften in understanding, his mouth still set in a grim frown. Sebastian, however, tenses his jaw and finally looks at you.

“You're right,” he says. “You're not one of us. So stop butting in where you're not wanted.”

“Fine! I won't,” you say, turning on your heel and all but stomping out of the Undercroft, throwing the door open and not bothering to shut it behind you.

“‘Fine, I won't?’” you mutter to yourself. “Couldn't have thought of something with a bit more finality?”

You feel hot pricks behind the backs of your eyes, and you shove the heels of your palms against your eyelids, shoving the tears back. You wouldn't cry. Not for this. Not when you still had work to do. You'd almost forgotten in the heat of the discussion that this particular training session was only the prelude to another task of yours and Sebastian's.

One thing Ominis had gotten right was the fact that the two of you did often get up to a bit more trouble than you’d bargained for. That being said, the trouble would come no matter what the two of you did, so you figured it was best to go it together, at the end of the day. Now you could hardly imagine back to only a few months ago, when exploring on your own was the norm. You supposed that was about where you were now, though. You could reach out to someone else, but you thought the solitude might do you some good. Perhaps it was time to retrain your independent side.

It wasn't really all that dangerous, anyway. All you had to do was take out a bandit camp, a bit northeast of the Forbidden Forest, that had been causing some trouble for residents of the Hogsmeade Valley. You had hoped that tonight could be the night you introduced Sebastian to Merlin trials, though that didn't appear to be possible anymore.

You run the rest of the way through the hallway and through the main doors into the crisp fall air. You inhale deeply, the smell of damp leaves, dirt, and fresh grass comforting to you. Looking around you once to make sure no prefects were outside to see you, you summon your broom to you and mount it, before bursting off the ground and into the sky. You've come to know Hogwarts enough to not need a recalibrating pause in order to know where you were going--North, South, to the Forbidden Forest, or Hogsmeade, or Feldcroft...

You shake your head, willing the glum thoughts away, and squint to see better in the actively darkening sky. The most recent modifications that Albie Weekes made to your broom are nice, and you feel yourself cutting through the air more cleanly than you ever have. Already, the Forbidden Forest looms up on your left, and you bank right and begin to slow down, searching the ground below. A calm, clear stream runs lazily through the grasses, and you see a figure on its bank. You slow to a stop, watching from a distance still, and the figure stands up from the water and begins to walk back into a patch of trees.

That's gotta be it, you think. You fly closer to the ground but remain on your broom, drifting slowly and steadily through some of the taller grasses to stay as hidden as possible. You see a warm orange glow through the branches of the crop of trees and hear voices on the other side of the thicket. You pull your wand out and are about to dismount, when a blast knocks you off your boom.

The broom is ripped out of your hand, but you keep your wand grip tight as you catch air. Praying that you'll fall in grass or the water or anywhere but a jagged rock, you pull your knees up and make yourself into a ball just before crashing onto the ground. Cold water floods your senses, and you feel your robes instantly soak. You stand up as quickly as you can, slipping in the mud and adjusting your hat so you can see. What you see in front of you makes your blood run colder than the water streaming below you.

Bandits. At least a dozen of them, and a few more apparate into the group as you watch. One of them must have seen you coming, and their spell drew the rest.

“Damnit!” you swear under your breath, and a masked bandit near the front of the group laughs.

“You thought you could sneak up on us all alone, little girl?”

Little girl? You seethe.

“It's not like I haven't singlehandedly taken out camps of your bandits before.”

“Bold words for someone who's just been dismounted.”

“I prefer fighting on the ground, anyway.”

“Is that so?”

With a slight flick of his wrist, the bandit shoots a basic cast at you, and you barely throw up a protego in time to deflect it. You try to follow up with a stunning blast, but the bandit easily deflects it. Taking this as their cue to start engaging, the rest of the bandits begin hurling curses and fire in your direction. You can't get a spell in edgewise. You fumble in your bag for a mandrake and whip it in their direction, wincing against the muffled sound of its cries. Though they've scattered slightly, slowly trying to form what you fear is a circle around you, most of the bandits are affected by its screams, hunching down to cover their ears with as much fabric of their cloaks as possible.

“Bombarda!” you yell, aiming at the largest group of bandits you see. The spell lands cleanly, and dirt and rocks explode, sending the bandits stumbling and falling over themselves. You then disarm two of the bandits closest to you before summoning your broom. You don't want to flee, but you need to get away from the trap you've tripped and restart your approach somehow. As your broom, slightly splintery but still very much intact, flies to you, you spot another bandit mounting their own broom. You throw your leg over the wood and leap off the ground as quickly as you can, kicking a bandit in the face as you do so.

You hear them swear colorfully as you accelerate in a random direction. You refuse to flee back to Hogwarts, but you don’t know where to go that’s safe. You look over your shoulder to see not one, but three bandits flying into a V-formation behind you. The odds of losing all three of them were quickly dwindling, and you could feel now that your robes were slowing you down. The cold air was biting your hands as they gripped your broom, and the fabric sagging off your frame threatened to harden with frost.

Swearing, you shoot down into the trees of the Forbidden Forest, dipping below the canopy line but staying well above the ground. You don’t want to lose the bandits just to find yourself face-to-face with a troll. You can hear the whistle of the wind behind you, signaling the presence of the three following you. As you zig-zag around trees, you think you can hear them panting--with effort or with thrill for the chase? You hope for the former.

You then hear a SMACK! followed by a string of yelling. One bandit down, you think, but don’t dare to look back and confirm. And the end of the tree line is already in sight... so close to the castle.

“Diffindo!”

As you break through the treeline, you feel a slash of pain on your back, crying out as you feel the skin tear as if under the crack of a whip. Your grip on your broom loosens involuntarily, and your vision blurs with tears, even as you see the lights of the castle up ahead. You will your broom to go faster, faster, almost there, you bank on the hope that a prefect or professor or someone will be out on the grounds when you arrive, otherwise there's no stopping the bandits from finishing you off in the front gardens.

You look over your shoulder to see just that one bandit--the other got left behind, you suppose--but he's wearing a wicked grin. As you both rise over the outermost wall of the castle, the bandit is stopped by an invisible barrier, but you hear him throw out one last spell before you make it through the first gate:

“Depulso!” he shouts, and you are thrown from your broom, blown forward and unable to hold on tight enough. Your back, still bleeding, sears in pain from the pressure of the spell, and you tumble through the air, hearing the laughter of the bandit behind you. You can't find the strength in your limbs to form into a protective ball again, and as the ground looms up beneath you, all you can do is shut your eyes.

————————————————————

“Where is she?”

Ominis sighs.

“She wouldn’t be in the Slytherin common room, now would she, Sebastian?”

“How do you know who I’m talking about? I could be asking about a Slytherin,” Sebastian protests.

“Who else would you be talking about?” Ominis retorts.

Sebastian clears his throat.

“Well?”

“And why are you looking for her at this hour?” Ominis asks.

“Ominis, it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. And… we were supposed to go on a mission together last night, but—”

“But you broke her heart and sent her into certain danger by herself?”

“Merlin, Ominis, when you put it like that—”

“That is what happened, Sebastian.” Ominis sets down the scroll he was fidgeting with. “You’re lucky I didn’t run off into danger, myself. I must admit, you made it tempting, but thankfully I’m a bit more level-headed than our Ravenclaw friend.”

Sebastian runs a hand through his hair; his wand feels slippery in his palm.

“You don’t think she actually went off without me, do you?”

Ominis can’t hold back a snort at this.

“What do you think?”

————————————————————

Your body has never felt more stiff.

You wake up with a crick in your neck and soon discover it’s from sleeping at an odd angle due to the rough bandages spanning the length of your back. A bitter taste sits at the back of your throat, and your head is throbbing. You feel for a moment that you may be sick, but a few deep breaths through your mouth settle you.

A slow scan of the room lets you know that you’re in the hospital wing. Huh, you think, not remembering being brought here. What was the last thing you remember?

A flash of red, dirt, blood, the cobblestone rising up to meet you—

You wince, turning to see a glass of water on the table next to you. You start to reach over to grab it, and it’s only then that you realize your arm is in a sling. Your wand arm.

“Shit.”

“Miss Y/L/N!” you hear the nurse from behind you, and sure enough, she walks up to you, a frown on her face. “You will not use that language in my hospital wing.”

“I’m sorry. But could you please help me with that glass of water?” you ask, holding out your other hand. “I can’t reach it.”

You feel pathetic—unable to finish a mission on your own, unable to heal yourself, unable to lift a glass of water for Merlin’s sake. Hot tears threaten to show themselves again, and you bite your bottom lip—hard—to stave them off.

She passes the glass to you, and you raise it to your mouth. It’s still cold, and you feel it fill your stomach and ease your nausea. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

“Thank you,” you say.

“Mhm. Now, I’m not going to ask you how you came to be rushed into my wing, all battered and bruised, with a broken broom, no less—and at the ripe hour of three in the morning!—but I am going to tell you to not do it again. You’ll take a bit to recover; some injuries can’t be undone with the flourish of a wand, you know. You’d do well to remember that.”

Throughout her speech, you felt your face growing hot, and you didn’t know if it was from indignation or embarrassment. You hold your tongue, though, and watch as she flounces away, off to get some Wiggenweld potion, or patronize some more students, or what have you.

Now you were left with nothing but your thoughts… and the almost empty glass of water. What had gone wrong? You couldn’t believe how quickly the previous evening had turned to disaster. You typically kept such a cool head during combat—and allowing a bandit to sneak up on you was unheard of. You know Professor Fig would reassure you that the fact that it had only happened once was an accomplishment, but you expect a level of performance from yourself that exceeds simple assurances. Had going without Sebastian truly thrown you that off your game?

Frustration—at Sebastian or at yourself, you didn’t know—bubbles up inside you, and you wish you could just stand up and walk out of there. You hate being stuck—feeling stuck. Your relationship with Sebastian hadn’t felt stuck at all until last night. Sebastian helped you feel free, capable, clever, brave even. Were you not those things without him? Or did he just help you unlock those parts of yourself? You know it’s the latter, but you still wish you could continue to share those moments with him.

Despite the argument in the Undercroft, you find yourself wishing you could see Sebastian—just try to make him hear you out one more time. And if he really never wants to see you again, then that’s fine. The last year of friendship could mean nothing to him, if that’s what he decides, but you know you would fight.

As you’re steeling yourself to wait it out and perhaps imagining hypothetical scenarios in your head, you hear that very same Slytherin’s voice from outside the wing.

“Let me in, Peeves.”

Your skin starts tingling, and your heart racing. You really didn’t think the time to talk would come so soon. You gulp and look around; none of the other students seem to be paying much mind to the ruckus on the other side of the door.

You hear Peeves blow a raspberry.

“What’s the password?”

“Eat my shorts.”

“Nope! Not even close. Man, you Slytherins really aren’t that clever, are you?”

“Peeves, I’ll curse you if you don’t get out of my way.”

“Oh yeah, and why do you need to get in there so badly? A certain Ravenclaw need your attention?”

Your eyes go wide; you look around frantically and see that some of the students have started to pay attention to the ongoing debate.

“I bet she could guess the password,” Peeves continues.

“Peeves, I swear, I will sic the Bloody Baron on you,” Sebastian responds.

“Ha! Like you have any pull with him.”

The conversation goes quiet, but you hear muffled speaking—Sebastian’s voice. The other students in bed are indiscreetly leaning towards the door as well, trying to catch a phrase or two, when suddenly it bangs open. Sebastian stands in the doorway, looking a mess: his hair is in his eyes, and his robes are askew. His left shoe is even untied. He takes in the room, squinting his eyes when he notices his eavesdroppers, finally landing on you. His whole face changes, the lines disappearing and his eyes brightening, as he strides to your bed and grasps your hand in his.

“Thank Merlin you’re all right. I was afraid I wouldn’t find you in one piece.”

“What?” you start, indignant despite yourself. “You think I couldn’t handle going out alone?”

His eyes harden slightly, and he lets go of your hand.

“What? No, I just heard from Ominis—after much prying, might I add—that you had been rushed to the hospital wing in the small hours of the morning.”

“Oh,” you respond weakly. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“So I was worried,” he says flatly.

You could cry—he had come in exactly how you pictured he would if you could have your way. And then you ruined it.

You sighed.

“But I could go, if you’d prefer,” Sebastian starts.

“No!” you gasp, grabbing his hand back. “No. Please. I’m—I am… embarrassingly happy to see you.”

He smiles, his eyes softening again. You were vaguely aware of the eyes and ears on you both—here in the middle of the hospital wing—but you didn’t care. Not with Sebastian here, looking at you like that.

“So—” you start.

“Listen—” he starts at the same time.

You both laugh.

“You first,” he says. “You first, please.”

You swallow dryly.

“You, um… I—” you take a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize, for being reckless last night, and for crossing a line or not respecting a boundary of our relationship, I just…”

You pause, but the earnest, open look Sebastian is giving you propels you forward before you can stop it.

“I just want to tell you everything, always. I want to share just about every experience with you. And if that’s weird, that’s weird, and I’ll stop trying to do that, and… And I’ll certainly not expect that of you… but… Well I know what you said last night, actually, so I’ll assume that’s not wanted, either, so. Actually… yeah.”

While you were stumbling through whatever that confession was, Sebastian’s face was taking on an expression you hadn’t seen before. You weren’t sure if it was melancholy or joy, or trepidation. When it’s clear that you’ve said your last filler word in an effort to prolong his response time, he grins.

“Please, never listen to a word I say ever again,” he says, releasing your hand to cup your face in his hands. “You are the best person—the best thing to happen to me.”

You feel the lines in your face release, and you reach up to hold his wrist.

“You keep me honest,” he continues, “and I think I sometimes hate that. But I’ll work on it—I am working on it. I lashed out last night, and that’s not okay. I’d maybe hope that if we get into an argument again, you won’t go and get yourself diffindo-ed, of course…”

“Yeah yeah,” you laugh, rolling your eyes.

“Really, though. I mean it. Because I’ll be with you next time. And the time after that. And the next one…”

“But then we’re done,” you interject.

“Yeah, all right,” he laughs, lightly punching your shoulder.

“OW!” you yell, gaining back the attention of those in the room who had finally diverted it.

Panic immediately sets in on Sebastian’s face, and he’s about to fall over in his haste to get the nurse, when you start laughing.

“Merlin, Seb,” you say. “Learn to take a joke.”

“I’ll kill you first,” he says, smirking.

“You got any classes today?” you ask.

“Not ‘till Astronomy this evening.”

You scoot over on the bed and pat the space beside you, the question on your face. Sebastian pretends to look around for the nurse in secrecy before gently climbing in beside you. Both of you feel the release of relief settle over you, and you let your head drop onto his shoulder.

“What was it you said to Peeves that convinced him to let you in, anyway?”

[lilpuffyart]

Something related to my Gods' Whispers AU; how it all begun before Chapter 1

I would draw something for it but extreme burnout and self doubt atm so ;;--;;

----////----

Before the bishops were a thing, Shamura was born. A mortal spider with a mortal family, but that always had this need for more. They couldn't picture since when they felt this way, but shamura always wanted to be *more*, to be known; so they met Clauneck, who took them under his wing to taught them everything he knew. And they were successful. They had killed and become a god.

Before the bishops were a thing and after Shamura had ascended as a god, Shamura had decided to kill other Gods in the land. It was just natural for them; instincts speaking even. So they did just that, saved for a few creatures they couldn't bring themselves to kill.

First was a frog. She was young and had found herself around the Yellow Crown. Confused and disoriented with what was happening, they decided to take her under their wing.

The second was a squid. He was already an adult, a pirate and a frequent trader for the Old Faith land. The Blue Crown was found in a treasure, and after weeks and maybe months of confusion, they appeared later to ask for Shamura's guidance.

The fourth one, was a worm, that similar to the frog, had accidentally stumbled across the Green Crown. Stubborn and messy creatures, couldn't even keep their Crowns anywhere safe before their fall.

The third one, however, was curious. He wasn't an ascended god; he was born as one, having gain his right to rule over his domain since birth. A small and week cat; with blood running down from his middle eye.

And so, Shamura raised them and took them under their wing. A promise and a way for prosperity; after all, when the little cat was older, no one would dare to speak against a God of death.

However, something felt off; like their job wasn't completed yet. So they walked and walked. Trying to understand that feeling deep within them, until they came across a cavern, and inside the cavern, was a creature, quiet and immovable, if it wasn't for their glowing eyes. The place was filled with crystals, and a poll that had a dark color, which made it harder to see.

It took them some time to digest what they were looking at, after all, it was bigger than them. A being with exposed bones in their body, probably from past God and that now had become one with their body.

"May I help you, my child", the being said finally, moving their body so that they could stare at the spider better. Shamura then could look at their features better: it was a sheep. They looked more animal, prehistoric even, and the ages were starting to show in their frail body. They were an Old God.

"Speak", the sheep spoke again, shifting their body uncomfortably.

"Who are you?", Shamura said, more to themselves than to the god, but it was enough for them to pick it up.

"I am the bringer of life",they said, with a raspy voice. "The one that allowed life on this place to endure. The God of life, one of the last of it's kind", they took a deep breath. "We've met before, eons ago. It seems that ur destiny was concretized".

Shamura looks confused at them. They have a feeling of knowing them; as if they're some kind of old friend. Or old enemy

"Why have you come to my domain?", the old god asked; they seemed tired. Shamura wasn't sure what to do. The other god was weak but yet still possessed such power and they wouldn't let their guard down. So shamura gained their trust. The spider kept them company, until they were sure the old god didn't suspect a thing and shamura killed them

In their dying breath though, they murmured something, that would eternally haunt shamura until their death: "your deed is done, and for that I can't blame you, for it was foolish of me to trust a god of war. But be aware, shamura, be aware of the ones around, for one day you may understand the pain of one's betrayal"

And so Shamura left in the dark and cold night, not looking back one second to check if the old god's spirit had following them

It was done, and finally they could rest assured that the Old Faith would prevail

[butch-reidentified]

hello hello my lovely Tumblr gals!

I've been waiting to post about this until it was like, a forreal sure thing, but I'm SO excited I gotta share the news 🤩

soooo as most of you already know, my wife & I both have serious chronic health conditions, which come with severe chronic pain as well as all the other wonderful symptoms. We have been struggling to maintain a life of working full time, doing things we enjoy to keep ourselves sane, taking care of our 6 pets, and also getting chores/errands/tasks done like keeping the house clean, grocery shopping and cooking instead of frozen meals and doordash, etc. A couple weeks ago, I posted an ad on a roommate seeking page to "rent" out our spare bedroom. Except instead of money, the majority of the rent would be "paid" by helping us out with those sorts of tasks to help us live as close to a normal life as possible. I created a scaled system where the more assistance = the more the reduction in rent, with a very low cap on the money side of the rent bc we really don't want to take advantage of anyone or profit off renting out a room, so just enough to cover the basic costs. The goal was to find a mutually beneficial arrangement with someone who needed a place to live without paying the current horrifying rental prices of South FL, and was able bodied and capable of helping us out a bit (on their own schedule, around their other work/obligations).

I posted it pretty impulsively when I had the idea, thinking not many people would see it or respond to it, just sort of putting feelers out to see if there was any interest in that kind of arrangement. I specified female only (and of course got multiple messages from men). First thing the next morning, a woman who looks about my age sends me a message. She and her gf have been urgently looking for housing since the plans they had made had fallen through last minute, after they were already packed and everything with their lease ending at the end of February.

She was 100% good vibes right away. We messaged for a couple hours straight, just got talking, and intermittently throughout the day. It turned out there were so many strange coincidences between us, it was uncanny. And talking to her felt like talking to a close friend of many years, not a total stranger. That first day I talked to her, really good things happened to me the rest of the day. Solutions to problems that had been causing me stress for weeks or months fell into my lap. I'm not spiritual or superstitious or anything for the most part, but sometimes the universe is just screaming in your face that something is right.

We kept texting, and planned a video chat "wine date" to discuss the arrangement and get to know each other better. We talked for hours, past 2am, and it felt so natural. Never an awkward moment. We have very similar couple dynamics, we like the same lifestyle and hobbies, we have the exact same sense of humor and communication style, the first woman I had talked to and I go by the same nickname, their dog and one of our dogs are very similar breed mixes and born almost exactly just 1 month apart... I could go on. I mean we even buy the same brand of vapes 😅 They're clean freaks who enjoy cleaning together, and one of them is super into cooking and likes to keep an herb and vegetable garden (we have a huge backyard and have been longing for a garden for ages). I looked up their post in the group, which was posted weeks before mine, and they were a perfect match. We were looking for the exact same things in a roommate.

The decision was made that first video chat night (there have been more since). They were abso-fucking-lutely going to be our new roomies. I wrote up a unique lease, month to month like we both were looking for, and had it looked over by a lawyer, who said we're good to go. My wife and I have been gushing about them to all our friends and our parents. We've been calling it a "couples crush" 😂 I told them that, and they excitedly admitted they've been doing the same thing. My wife and I have also been so much happier and more productive and active since all this started.

These absolute angels have even offered to help us get the house clean from where it's at now instead of us rushing to deep clean before they arrive. They seem genuinely empathetic and like they want to help 😭 And we feel the same way about their housing and financial situation. We own the home, which means there's an inherent power dynamic when renting out a room, so I worked hard to talk to them and create a lease that would equalize as much as possible. My wife and I emphatically expressed that we want them to feel like it's fully their home - we remember from renting in the past how it can sometimes not feel like your home. For me, renting was damaging to my mental health. All the rules and restrictions made me feel unable to create a safe-feeling home environment. We don't want to put any restrictions on them when it comes to pets, drilling into walls, painting the room, re-landscaping the backyard, whatever. We also told them they're always welcome to give us feedback, communicate totally honestly with us about any of their needs, complaints, changes they want to the lease, etc.

Soooo with all that said... they're moving in on Friday! We are all counting the days. We already know we're gonna have a ton of fun together. We even agreed to have "family dinners" sitting together at the table a couple times a week 🙈 We are all just so dorky it's beautiful.

And! I accidentally said "gyns" referring to them in a message 😅 so I had to explain that, and they were SUPER interested and want us to teach them about radical feminism. Like??? We couldn't have created a more perfect roommate situation in a mad scientist's lab. I've been working on trusting my gut recently, as it never seems to lead me astray, and every instinct I have says this is Good.

[raartblog]

PUNK PLAYS PIANO

Fandom: Infamous IF

The piano in the green room was old, and the circular stains littering the cabinet's finish suggest that it spent much of its life here as a shelf for iced drinks and ashtrays. Running a hand over the rough wood of the cover, Tao could feel the years it witnessed as glorified furniture. It wasn't hard to imagine countless moments of drunken jamming, the hollow sound of hands slapping the wood out of frustration, a convenient surface for momentary lovers. A melancholy tune where no one else can hear. The piano stands still, aging and stoic in front of faceless musicians shuffling in and out, rising and falling. 

Feeling a prickle of self-consciousness at the back of his throat, Tao looks around. The green room door sits ajar as the rest of OMOGO deposit their bags and quickly shuffle off to sort their instruments by the stage, their chattering an indistinct buzz of excitement that soon fades to silence. 

The last time Tao played the piano was three years ago. 

It felt a bit raw, to be recording an album so soon after Seven's departure. The band needed time to come up with three more songs to replace the ones Seven took with him, but it didn't seem like the others needed as much time as Tao did. All of his words seemed dammed up somewhere in his brain. He could feel them, wriggling like fish, squirming to be free, but guilt froze his hand. The next one, he promised himself. I'll be okay on the next one. Like he could take two steps to the left and look out a different window to a different world. 

Even so, three weeks after, two days before recording, the band struggled to agree on an album intro. "We can improvise," Rowan argued. "Just jam out in the studio and come up with something cool!"

Iris disagreed. "We need as much time as we can get to record the songs that are actually written. We've barely had time to practice Purist or Karma Won—"

"Nope!" Devyn piped up, "It's Go, Gone now." Go, Gone, previously known as Karma Won, previously known as Pit Fire, which had ousted Patricia, was the most recent of the batch. It was a good song, but it was suffering from an identity crisis similar to its titling problem.

"Either way," Iris continued, rolling her eyes, "we need to settle on a final sound for the two of them, and this is our last practice we can all make before our studio time, and we've got to get it done in that one slot."

"Our songs are good!" Jazzy chimed in. "The whole thing is cohesive enough, we don't need to be cinematic about it." 

Rowan stood firm. "It's our third album, guys! We've got our sound figured out, not to mention the fact that we need to start pushing the envelope a little, y'know? Back me up, Tao!" Tao blinked, not expecting to be roped in.

"Um. I dunno." He grimaced at his own hesitancy, choosing instead to pick at a loose thread in his sleeve.

"Tao agrees with me," Rowan said, turning back to the others.

"Tao!" Iris protested. 

Tao puffed a breath. Seven had written the album intro, and in Tao's opinion especially, nothing they had come up with really had that synergy they were looking for.

"Does anyone have any ideas for an intro now?" he grinds out.

The band looked around at each other, mumbling. Iris put her hands on her hips and glowered at Rowan's triumphant grin.

"Yeah!" he said, throwing an arm over Tao's shoulder and trying to swing his legs up so Tao would catch him in a bridal carry. "Let's just get the ones we know out of the way quick, and we can totally figure out Go, Gone. Jazzy n' Dev can get together and finish it up, and the rest of us'll just follow their leads! Tao, c'mon! Hold me!" he whined. Tao allowed it, hefting Rowan's bulk up into his arms. Then he turned and dumped Rowan out on the garage couch. He vanished into a pile of coats accumulated over years of careless tosses with a dismayed wail.

As everyone filtered out of Devyn's garage for the night, a light pressure appeared on Tao's shoulder. Devyn popped around his side soon after. They always reminded him of a pet mouse. Quick, small, something always twinkling in her eyes, though its anyone's guess as to what. A pink mouse. The thought made the corner of Tao's mouth quirk up. 

"Hey, what are you thinking?" Devyn said, a teasing lilt to her voice as she bundled another sweater around her shoulders. The October air had chilled considerably in the early darkness.

Tao shook his head. "What's up?"

"I just…" Devyn sighed. The quick exhalation caused Tao's stomach to twist. There have been a lot of little talks like this, and they never fail to make him like he has to curl up into a protective shell. "I know stuff with… y'know, figuring out new songs and stuff has been tough. It's been tough on all of us."

"I know."

"I don't want to rehash anything. I don't. But I think it'll be good for you to come up with something. It doesn't have to be a whole idea-- like Rowan said, we'll play around and figure it out together. But. Y'know. It might help." The suggestion took that curling feeling inside of Tao's stomach and threw it over his entire body. His shoulder hunched, and it took everything to shove his hands in his coat pockets instead of wrapping them over his chest like he'd been shot. "Tao?" Devyn's brows scrunched together as they took in his reaction. Worry on their face was tough to look at. 

"Yeah," he choked out, cloudy breath hissing out of his nose as he took another, steadier breath. "Yeah. Maybe."

The creative spark never found him in the days coming up to the studio time, not that Tao could bring himself to even go looking for it. Even in the studio, where there was usually an intense energy and excitement, Tao found himself struggling to shake the rising dread as they recorded song after song. They all seemed to come so easily in anticipation for the most difficult moments of the day. The early momentum that had them high-fiving and running back and forth between booths to hear the mix died quickly like a smear on asphalt as they reached Go, Gone, re-named for the final time to Geraldine. 

After Tao's ninth take, Jazzy leaned over and clicks the comm. "You're not listening to me," she said, spinning a drumstick between her fingers in frustration. "It's too angry."

"I'm basically singing about wanting to mutually eat shit and die," Tao snapped. "How else am I supposed to interpret that?"

"You gotta–" Jazzy made a wavy motion at him through the window with her hand. Tao copied it, bewildered. "Y'know!"

"I don't know! What the fuck does that mean? You-you want me to build up to it?"

"No– I mean, yes, but– um." She rubbed her face with her free hand, the drumstick spinning around in the other faster and faster. "Fuck. It's like. It's angry, but it's not angry. It's... it's the 'drowning' part."

"What about it?"

"I don't think it's working anymore."

"Fucking– Anymore?" 

The drumstick smacks on the table. "I don't fucking know! Chill out and give me a second!"

"Whoa, whoa, guys!" Rowan stepped in, hands up and a pleading smile on his face. "Why don't we take five?"

Devyn was quick to agree over Jazzy's mumbled swearing. "I could use a snack!"

"No, I've got this," Tao bit back, shaking his head and the lyric sheet. He wanted to crumple it up in his hands and wring the words out. 

"If you had it, it would've been done," Iris drawled. "We've been working on Geraldine alone for three hours. It's way past time for a break."

Tao groaned and ripped the headphones off his head. She had a point. They all knew Geraldine was going to be a mess. Even so, Tao couldn't help feeling like missing the mark every time was becoming a personal failure.

There's a ka-chunk as Rowan pushed open the heavy door to the recording space. Tao turned his back, preferring to see the neutral soundproofing rather than someone's face. "Heeeeey, Tao. You coming?"

"Give me a sec," Tao shot over his shoulder.

"'Kay. I'll grab you some Haribo-bo's from the vending machine."

Tao gritted his teeth. "Thanks." Despite his frustration, he couldn't help the glimmer of affection for his friend. "You can have a couple of mine."

"Ohhh, buddy, don't tempt me," Rowan sniggered as he closed the door behind him.

Silence.

Tao squeezed his eyes shut. When that wasn't enough, he pressed his palms against his eye sockets, letting weird patterns and shadows dance in the dark. 

"Fuuuucccckkkkingggg shiiiiit," he groaned. "Fuck!" Releasing his hands, he blinked around the space. He glanced over the drums, the collection of guitars and basses hanging off the wall, over Iris's keyboard, his vision skittering around and around. A song like Geraldine he could usually knock out with ease. Angry songs, songs that shouted to push down the tears, they were his bread and butter. He had the voice, the look, the feeling, all of it. This sort of trouble should have happened with a song like Purist, a devoted love song with long, sustained notes scattered throughout, but he had delivered it in two takes. It was different from their usual fare, but Devyn and Iris were fucking inspired with that one.

Eventually, his eyes land on the grand piano. They had pushed it into a corner out of the way, but it was so big that it still took up a large portion of the room.

It always seemed to surprise people when Tao revealed his classical training—not that he made it easy for them to figure out. After all, he grew out of the clean, delicate form of a classical pianist long ago, much to his mother's chagrin. She despaired constantly about his piercings and tattoos, cried that he had ruined his future and reputation in favor of looking like a thug— even now, she refused to be seen with him in public. It only hurt a little. But he was tall. Scary-looking. His hands were large. He remembers being excited in high school for when they got large enough to comfortably play Lizst. Seven teasingly called him a virgin nerd when he talked about it. 

Tao shook the thought from his head. 

The piano was white. A little too stylish for the rest of the studio, but Tao didn't really care. He pressed a random key, expecting the near-painful twang of untuned strings. But the sound was clear. Almost instinctively, his hand played a chord to follow the note. Then another, until he found himself stuck on a D-flat. It felt familiar. Lazily, he plunked his ring finger against an A-flat. 

The comforting form of Chopin's Prelude no. 15 rose from the wandering notes. When he was younger he often returned to it when he was bored of scales and warmups but reluctant to move on to whatever new piece needed attention. Seven used to sit in the same room during his practice time, humming idly along while doing his homework. 

The repetition of the A-flat grounded him. He never got away from feeling like a fish laid out on the sun-baked rocks when on stage. Even after years of recitals, then onto performing with his band, the feeling never went away. It just became easier to push through. 

Chopin's wife, George Sand, called the piece "Raindrop." A peaceful name. Another story claims it was written in a panicked haze after Chopin had a nightmare where he was drowning.

 Tao could imagine it as his hands fell to C-sharp minor. A feeling of viscosity seemed to take over the sound, like Tao's head was being plunged underwater. He continued playing, pushing his hands through roiling water to strike at the keys. He knows this piece. And he could feel himself committing a violence to it as he bruised the keys. As the crescendo crashes, he's supposed to come up for air. The gentle plunking of the rain as a prelude to the sun returning. There's no coming up for air this time. He feels the energy weaken as the chords, still dark and stormy, wander into something else. He's improvising now. It sounded like the dull thunder of a heartbeat in his ears as he sunk deeper and deeper into the depths. It sounded like a funeral march. 

"Keep playing like that, bud," Rowan murmured next to him. His guitar was already slung over his shoulder, his fingers finding their places on her neck. Devyn was nearby, doing the same on their bass. Jazzy was settled in her drummer's seat, nodding to Iris as she found her way to her keyboard. "I think we've got something we can work with for the intro."

-----

"Tao." Orion's sharp voice jerks Tao back to the present. "What are you doing in here?" The shape of a cameraman passes by Orion's bulk, following another band as they bundle past in the hallway. Tao sniffs, masking the sudden jolt of embarrassment and fear with a reflexive scowl.

"Drugs," he drawls.

Orion narrows his eyes, his laser-like gaze making Tao stiffen even further. "Get ready for the sound check in five," he says after a moment. "The rest of the band is already getting ready. Don't be late." Not waiting for an answer, he vanishes, leaving the door ajar.

Alone again, Tao turns back to the ratty upright piano. The cover creaks as he raises it slightly, just enough to slip his right hand under and depress a key. It sounds like shit. Only the keys in the higher range seem to have any tune to them anymore. It had been three years since he played the piano. He feels the ache, but he couldn't bring himself to stretch his fingers out. 

In the back of his mind, a memory of a simple tune forms. Quietly, to himself, he plays a lullaby. Once, twice, until he forces himself to close the cover and face the growing noise of the stage. 

(He doesn't notice a shadow in the doorway duck out of sight just before he turns.)

Songs referenced: Chopin Prelude Opus 28 No. 15 "Raindrop" Chuck Manginone -- "Lullaby" (the first theme)

[wromwood]

You know. I really don't want to think that I'll be one of those "Why don't kids have manners these days" people after a few decades. However, judging by how much I think about certain interactions (like the one I'm gonna share now) weeks after they've happened, I can unfortunately see myself applying one misstep to a whole generation of kids and easily forgetting context like what behaviors are reinforced at home or school, how other people treat them, basic personality differences, etc.

Anecdote time!

Some weeks ago, a couple of my cousins came over to our house. Now, I love my cousins, but I haven't hung out with them TOO much over the years, and they're now both either teens or pre-teens, so they're quieter and a bit more introverted than they used to be. I reminded myself that's not an issue- I went through a similar period myself- and decided to bust out something everyone loves: video games.

I turned on the Nintendo Switch and said, "Maybe we can pick something here for us to play. I know we don't have a lot, but we've got some games downloaded and a bunch of cartridges. Does anything here look interesting already?"

As I flicked through the options already on the home screen, the more talkative cousin scanned them quietly.

"Do you have Mario Kart?" she finally asked.

"Um. No," I answered.

She didn't give me a verbal answer, but only shrugged and looked away, clearly disinterested in everything else on the screen.

And before I recovered and picked something that I like that I thought might amuse them (they lost interest after a couple rounds, which itself isn't a bad thing), I couldn't help but think that I'm pretty certain that I wouldn't have done this at their ages. That when I was younger, I would've looked through the selections myself and deliberated which to try. That I would've felt motivated to try at least a few just to see what they were like. To at least ASK about the selection that's in front of me. Asking for a specific game I wanted and then silently dismissing everything else available in front of my host? Even if that host is family, I think my depressed younger teen self would've agreed that's a little cold.

I honestly don't know if I'm criticizing my cousin's behavior as a person (if someone my age acted this way, it'd be rude, so I'm reacting accordingly) or as a teen (I didn't act this way at her age, and somehow the issue stems from that).

... I shouldn't be criticizing people at all. But this memory was clawing at my brain so much I had to get it out.

[elviratheepic]

Idk if I'll stick with this, but I've been in hospital for over a week now and I can feel my brain turning to mush, so I'm thinking it might be good to post like a journal thingy here. I can just throw my thoughts to the void and if anyone feels like throwing any thoughts back at me, maybe I'll reminded what human interaction is lol

And who knows, maybe some bits and pieces of my experiences rn might be handy to someone who ends up seeing it. This is a weird time for me, maybe someone else around here's having, has had or will have some similar weird times and we'll have made a little connection even if we don't speak :)

I mentioned it briefly in a post on my art blog, but to flesh it out a bit, I've been generally run down and really quite unwell like all summer and now into autumn. Been back and forth to the doctor, told I have chest infections, possible asthma, etc. I get booked in for an xray and then something looks weird so a ct scan, still thinking it's pneumonia with some odd symptoms, then a couple days later I get a call from my doctor telling me i am going to the hospital asap, there's a bunch of fluid in my chest that should not be there and also they need to check for lymphoma. I've never been to hospital for more than an orthodontist appointment and while not as surprised as I could be expected to be by the thought of cancer due to having had a weird anxiety fixation thing on the idea for a while (fun coincidence), it was still a bit of an ordeal lol. This was 10 days ago and I have not been home since. I've been coping pretty well considering the wild lack of control I feel over literally anything rn. The steroids they've got me on rn while I wait for further treatment have me feeling better than I have in a long while, and mentally the worst I've been dealing with is some fairly mild dissociation. Just kind of taking things as they come for now, rolling with things as best I can especially while so many things are kind of a bit up in the air and subject to change.

But I mean drama aside, the current diagnosis for me is pretty good. The cancer as it appears right now is treatable and has a pretty great cure rate. It's a "primary mediastinal large B-cell lymphoma" according to the leaflet I've got. It's high grade, so fast acting and aggressive but that actually makes these easier to get rid of than low grade slower working ones. It's hanging out next to my heart so that's the reason I've had all these bullshit symptoms in my chest cuz it's just been fuckin shit up in there and irritating its roommates. They've got me booked in for a pet scan day after tomorrow cuz the scanner was having issues so they couldn't get me in sooner, then the plan is to start chemotherapy the next day. Which will be an experience. The treatment plan we've basically already decided is 6 21-day cycles of chemo where I'll be in hospital for about 5 days getting monitored and adjusted treatment, then going home for the rest and coming back to start the cycle again. It's not going to be the most fun and easy experience of my life but tbh I've done hard things before and I know I'm capable of doing this. Not that this kind of thing can ever really come at a "good" time, but I think that personally I'm pretty lucky this came along at the point in my life it did. I've been able to spend the last couple years basically building myself back up from feeling entirely lost, shattered and directionless after a pretty traumatic attempt at university durring covid lockdowns. I'm maybe lacking in some life experience people my age tend to have, but ultimately I have confidence, strength and self-awareness now that I do not take for granted. Basically I got the chance to reinforce my foundations in unkowing preparation for this whole thing. Honestly, I'm kind of just curious who I'll be on the other side of this experience - wherever that may be.

My main concern has been my siblings. I'm the oldest of 3 and we're all very close, spend a lot of time together and are at the core of eachothers' support systems. One of them's got college stress and deadlines, the other's out of school with anxiety issues rn, and my instinct is to be there as a support. And of course they would be supporting me too, it's not all give, they're amazing at being there for me too especially while I've been unwell (I love them so so much and I'm proud of everything they do can you tell lol). But while they have been visiting when they can, we don't get so much time together rn with me being in hospital and I feel like it's hard to get a gauge on how things really are with eachother at the moment which is rough with there being so much change going on rn. I know we'll figure things out, but I can't help worrying about them a bit, I feel like it's kind of my job lol

Oof can you tell it's getting late and my brain's going sleepy ramble mode? Idk if I'm even making much sense but hey

The ward I've been moved to for this is good. It's a cancer ward for teens and young adults with a common room area funded by the teenage cancer trust. There's guitars, a ps4, craft supplies and free snacks. It feels so weird that like that space is for me to use, like I'm kinda tresspassing on something for people who need it more than I do. But the ward's fairly quiet and not so busy at the moment, so when my siblings and briefly my friend came to visit me today, we basically had free reign of the space without having to disturb anyone. I feel more comfortable in there than I did, and I think it's a good space for my siblings to be when they come visit. I'm really greatful they get to use it with me - even if I feel kind of like others deserve the space more (ik im being silly), seeing them get good use and some fun out of it today was good and reassuring. It's reassuring to hear people talking about there being support systems for siblings too should they need them. Especially when it feels like I can't look out for them so much in the ways I normally would.

But yeah, I think that's about all that's in my brain for right now. I'll look back on this tomorrow and realise none of this actually made any sense lol

But yeah basically got thrown a bit of a curveball lately as life tends to do, but there's answers now where there wasn't before, and the path ahead's starting to make itself visible. It sucks, but I've been worse. I'm not just saying that for the sake of offsetting the fact that it sucks, I'm just taking the the little wins where i can cuz I know that's gotten me through plenty rough and sucky times before.

Some little wins:

Woke up to magpies outside the window this morning. One came right up to the glass to say hi, but I couldn't snap a picture in time lol <3

My friend brought me a rainbow sensory slug companion, and I made a pipecleaner creature named Spigley while my siblings were here. They are friends and will be my chemo companions :)

(Idk if that's a mouth or a moustache but i think it suits him either way)

[bellassan]

@kuatiisms | starter call

It’s war. And Ferus really should have anticipated having to meet one of the Jedi Generals at some point, but when faced with one it still makes him feel off guard and strangely vulnerable and open.

He didn’t know Bultar Swan. She was Knighted a fewo years before he himself became a Padawan. But he’d seen her a few times, had heard her name, and he wondered if she remembered him - and if she didn’t, if she could sense his Force connection, weak as it was now, and make her own conclusions. 

Should he make it clear right away that he used to be one of them? 

It was all too easy to overthink. It was eerie how quickly that came back to him, thoughts overwhelming him, in the presence of a Jedi. That’s who he’d used to be, he reminded himself. Not who he is anymore.

So he makes himself smile and tries to shake off the strange prickle of anxiety he feels.

“General Swan? Lieutenant Olin. Great to meet you, other than the backdrop.” 

Oh, yeah. There’s a storm on-planet. 

[capricornwriter5]

You are the one - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - We are just friends

Pairing: Bang Chan x OC; Lee Know x OC

Genre: au (high shool, college), love triangle, fluff, angst, smut, from friends to lovers. Warning: soft drugs

Words: 4k

Summary: Bang Chan and Jasmine have been best friends for as long as they can remember. With little time to finish high school, they both begin to develop romantic feelings. However, family situations and communication issues force them to move away. Once in college, they decide to try to regain the friendship they had. As Bang Chan sees the opportunity to finally be with the girl he has always loved, his friend Lee Know, who had been studying in England, returns home and the connection he develops with Jasmine is undeniable. Can the chemistry and attraction with Lee Know outweigh a tender first love and memories of years of friendship between Bang Chan and Jasmine?

Disclaimer: I named the character Jasmine (Minnie for Chan 🥰) because I love that name. Besides, it's easier if we want to see Chan saying cute names (it's better than just Y/N, I think) but you can totally picture yourselves in the story, that's the idea. <3

*******

“How do you manage to understand this so quickly? We saw it just a few hours ago and you have all the exercises done.”

“It's very similar to what we were seeing before. Need help?” Chan asked looking that his best friend's notebook was practically blank.

“I think today we won’t have our international food Tuesday.” Jasmine sighted closing her notebook.

She and Chan had the last three years seeing each other all Tuesdays to try new food. However, exams were starting to get closer, and they needed to study.

“Come on, Minnie! We can eat and study at the same time, but we need to go to your house. My parents argued again and I'd rather be in a place where there's no screaming or things breaking.”

"Oh fuck, sounds like a big discussion. I’m sorry, Chris. How about we eat something from Australia today?” The girl raised her eyebrows trying to cheer him up a bit.

“Are you sure? You don't like it very much.”

“Yes, I like it! Just because I don't eat two whole roast lamb dishes like you do, doesn't mean I don't like it.”

“Then it is decided, we’ll eat that today.”

Chan and his best friend had been studying in the school library, despite they weren’t taking all the classes together, they were used to study together. Both of them were excellent students and their grades were amazing, especially Chan’s. Besides being a member of several sports clubs, Bang Chan was part of the design club with Jasmine, whose talent with her hands was outstanding. An action so trivial as cutting a paper she did it in a unique way; nevertheless, chemistry classes were her Achilles heel and without Chan’s help, Jasmine would have lost her perfect grades.

“See you after school, Minnie.” Chan said as they left the library.

“What? Where are you going? Changbin and Han are waiting for us.”

“Yes, but your annoying group is coming for you.”

Jasmine turned around and saw four girls approaching them; despite their ages, they already looked like professional models. Everyone at the school knew them, but Chan just couldn't tolerate being with them for more than a minute because of their attitude.

“Jaz, we've been looking for you all over the school, you know we hate having to do that.” Said a blonde girl waving her hair, to which Chan tried to look elsewhere so as not to laugh. “Of course it seems funny to you, you only think about your grades, you can’t even talk about basic clothing brands. Ugh! Jaz, I don't understand how someone like you, so beautiful, kind, and talented, can be friends with this guy.”

“Don't talk to him like that, he…”

“Minnie, you don't need to defend me, it doesn't make sense. They are right, I really don't mind talking about clothing.”

Chan had asked her many times not to say anything about how he lived because he did not want to be judged for that. Even though his parents were rich and he lived in a ridiculously huge house, nobody besides his closest friends knew it. Of course he knew about brands, but it was the last thing he was interested in.

“Anyway, I have to go, see you later.”

“Jaz, you have to listen to us, we tell you this because we love you.” Said another of the girls. “If you keep being friends with people like Bang Chan, you’ll end up being an outcast. Or something worse! What happens if one day you appear on the school page, eh?”

By school page, the girl referred to a profile on a social network where rumors about students and even teachers were anonymously posted. The director of the school had done everything possible to shut it down, as the institution had faced legal problems due to rumors about drugs, teachers and students that were true. However, even if the profile was temporarily closed, those who controlled it managed to reopen it over and over again.

“I'd rather die. We've tried so hard to make sure all our photos and comments are the best, but if you keep hanging out with Bang Chan, everybody will say we're a bunch of losers. You should value more that all your photos are the ones that have the most views, they all speak well about you, Jasmine, don't ruin it.” Another of the girls said while Jasmine just sighed.

“Well, honestly, I don't think it’s that bad.” The group paid attention to Chloe, the leader of the group, as she talked. “Bang Chan is quite handsome. At least he's hot; otherwise, you shouldn't even speak to him. Besides, his friends are even weirder than him.”

“There's absolutely nothing wrong with Changbin and Han, they're funny and nice. I don't like it when you talk about them like that. And as for Chris, he's a wonderful guy.”

“You say that only because you’re a great person and you know him since you were kids. Anyway, talking about Bang Chan is too boring, do you know who is dying to ask you out?” She asked pointing to the most popular boy in the school. “I went out with Mark once and I can tell you he knows what he does.”

“You slept with him?” Jasmine asked.

“Of course I did, Jaz! No one would let an opportunity like that pass by.”

“You mean an opportunity to fuck him.” The blonde girl said laughing.

“One of the best sex of my life. Don’t let him go, Jaz.” Chloe said winking.

Chloe got no response but a laugh from Jasmine. Despite how beautiful she was and how many boys at school were dying to go out with Jasmine, the girl had been focusing on other things and had not given herself the opportunity to have many dates, much less to have sex with someone. However, it was something that she had not told her friends since she knew how hard they were going to judge her. It was enough to hear them talk all day about her friendship with Chan to hear them judge her for being a virgin.

*****

Later at Jasmine's house, she was eating with Chan, or trying to steal food from the boy’s plate, while he was reading a message Mark sent to her.

“Minnie, are you seriously going out with this idiot?”

“He hasn't even asked me out, we're just talking.”

“Of course he's going to invite you!”

“I'm not sure. But can you imagine, Chris? It would be very really exciting! All the girls want to go out with him!”

“He’s a dick. Be careful with him.”

“He has been really nice to me.”

“Well, obviously, he’s flirting with you. If he does something to you, I swear I’ll kill him.”

Bang Chan was about to start one of his speeches trying to get his best friend to understand his point; however, Jaz took several fries and made Chan eat and not talk anymore.

“Let's stop talking about Mark. How are things at home, did your parents continue fighting?”

“When I got home, Dad’s things were in the living room, Mom had taken everything out, but he insists that it is also his house, so I think he'll spend a few days living in the pool house and arguing with Mom from there. Today they discovered that their screams can be heard from one house to another.”

“Do you want to sleep here? Stay, Chris, forget about them. It’s not fair that they put you through that every time they have a problem.”

“It depends, are you going to snore as much as last time?” Bang Chan barely had time to skip his friend’s pillow, which was going directly to his face.

“Are you actually saying this? The last time you slept here you woke up the neighbor's dog.”

Just when Chan was about to deny that, Jasmine's parents opened the door and looked just as happy as always. They were a wonderful couple, they were always doing things together, they were totally the opposite of Chan’s parents. That was precisely one of the reasons why Jasmine had not dated many boys, she wanted to have something like what her parents had.

The couple told them that they would go out to eat, so they would be alone in the house.

“I've never seen my parents like this, I don't think I've ever seen them go on a date together. Just once, and it was because Dad was partying with his friends for a whole week and Mom was going to kick him out.” Chan said.

“Don’t think about that. I have an idea!” Jasmine stood up and made sure her parents were already out of the house.

Bang Chan recognized her mischievous smile and approached her just as excited as her. “Do you still have some?”

“Enough for today” The girl took out a tiny box where they kept some weed that she and Chan had stolen from Changbin.

Some minutes passed and suddenly they were laughing until crying on the floor of the room watching funny animal videos and videos of Changbin being upset by Han's jokes. However, the laugh began to disappear once the hunger started for having smoked so much.

“Mom ordered some meals for Dad's birthday party this weekend. There are many, we could try them, nobody will notice.”

At the same time that the girl stood on tiptoe to try to reach the boxes where the sandwiches were, Chan laughed non-stop, Jasmine had not realized that there was another box below and he had already eaten several snacks. Finally, when she realized it, she hit him and forced him to lower the ones she had tried to reach, because, according to Jasmine, if they were hidden it was because surely that box had the best ones. For Bang Chan it was the simplest thing in the world, he only had to raise his arms a little, but that caused Jasmine to turn her head in the funniest way to be able to admire the abdomen of her best friend. Jasmine saw his muscles, and moving a little closer, she reached down and touched his body with her index finger.

“Shit!” Chan almost dropped the box as Jasmine had tickled him.

“Where do you get so much muscle from, huh? Did you know Chloe likes you?”

“Which one of them is Chloe? They all look the same.” He said focusing only on the food.

“Forget it, we better eat, I'm starving. It’s been an hour since I first tried to lower that box.”

“Minnie, it's been only five minutes.” He said laughing heartily and taking the boxes to the living room.

The couple tried to play a video game, but they ended up fighting each other, as Chan blamed her for having lost a race, when he never really understood that the screen below was the one he had to see and played the entire race looking at the character of her best friend. They also tried to watch a movie, but their perception of time was highly altered and no matter how hard they tried to concentrate, they couldn't. Jasmine even noticed that Chan had rewinded the same two minutes of the movie at least ten times and they laughed so hard at it that they couldn't bear the stomachache.

“I can't laugh anymore, I think I'll die.”

Chan watched her friend from the comfort of her legs. He had rested his head on Jasmine's legs, and between all the laughter and her hands playing with his messy hair, the boy hadn't opened his eyes in a while. Finally, when he did it, Jaz took his face and getting close enough, looked at him as if it was the first time she had done it. Chan's eyes were fixed on hers, especially when he felt her too close. What was possibly only a few seconds lasted hours for them until they burst into laughter again.

It took them a long time to get back to normal and they ended up going back to Jasmine's room to try once again to watch a movie. “Weren't we going to study? You even brought your notebooks.” Jasmine said reading Chan's notes but he was too busy looking for a movie to watch.

“You don't want to study, you are only telling me that because you know that today is my turn to choose.”

“Does that mean that we'll spend the next three hours watching a documentary from the First World War?”

“Not necessarily, I can also look for other things.” Chan said too offended.

“You're right, we can also watch documentaries from World War II.”

“You know what, Jasmine? When you want to, you can be very cruel.” Chan looked at the computer again and the girl was right, his friend's options were three documentaries that had to do with World War II.

“Chris, I'm just joking! You know I like to see that too.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, but today I'm going to the side of the wall, you move a lot, and I don't want you to throw me out of bed again.”

Even though Jasmine's bed was barely half of Chan's, the truth was that they always fit perfectly. Bang Chan's body was much larger than his friend's, but after so many years, they already knew exactly how to lie down to watch a movie comfortably.

Just some minutes before the end of the film, Chan stopped it and placed the computer in the nightstand. “I'll go get something to drink. Want something?” Not having an answer, he turned around a little and smiled tenderly when he saw her asleep.

He knew that Jasmine always fell asleep, no matter how much she liked the movie, she always ended up falling asleep. Bang Chan was already used to the fact that every time they saw something, he suddenly felt her head on his shoulder, and it was because she was about to fall asleep; however, that night Jasmine had leaned back on a pillow. Several strands of hair had fallen on the girl's face, so, with all the care and delicacy he could gathered, Chan tucked her hair back behind her ear. Just at that instant Jasmine opened her eyes, making him to move his hand as fast as possible.

“What are you doing, Chris? Are you leaving?” She asked rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, I fell asleep again. Did my parents come home?”

“No, not yet, but go back to sleep, I was just going to bring something to drink before going to bed.”

“Aren't you going to sleep here? Did I leave you without space again? Sorry, I can move a little more.” Jasmine’s cheeks were getting reddish as she moved.

“No, Minnie, it's okay, I did have space.” He answered smiling. “I just thought you'd sleep more comfortably if I slept in the guest room.”

“Chris, what are you saying? You are not a guest here, this is your home too. Do you want to see another movie? We already saw something form the Second, what do you think of the First?” She asked making him laugh; however, their happiness didn't last long when Jasmine's mom opened the door angrily.

“Jasmine and Bang Chan! What happened to the food for the party?”

“It's downstairs, mom.”

“There's absolutely nothing, the boxes are empty!”

“I’m sorry, it was me.” Chan said getting up from the bed to duly apologize. “I promise I’ll get it again.”

“What are you going to do, throw it up?” Jasmine's dad asked behind his wife without even bothering to hide a smile; however, the murderous look of his wife made him remain silent.

“The problem is not the box, Christopher.” Jasmine’s parents only called him by his name when they were going to scold him for something; after all, they had both seen him grow up with their daughter. “What I mean is that you are going to get sick from eating like a caveman. Also, can you explain to me why the house reeks of marijuana?”

“Yeah, well, that wasn't me." Bang Chan said laughing nervously and then what he felt was a kick from his best friend.

Jasmine's parents used to be very open minded about many topics, but smoking during the week was totally out of the question.

“I can't believe it guys, you not only smoked on a Tuesday, you also ate everything I ordered for the party! And you didn't even clean, the room is a mess! Not to mention, the TV isn't working and there's a stupid cat video that keeps repeating itself!”

The latter made Jasmine and Bang Chan laugh despite the face of the girl's mother, who left so furious that they even closed their eyes after hearing the knock on the door.

“Dad..." Jasmine tried to say when she was alone with him and her best friend.

“Sir, we're very sorry about the snacks.”

“No problem, at least someone enjoyed them." He said laughing honestly. “It’s ok, it's just food. Clean the living room and go to sleep, you have classes tomorrow.” Before leaving, he kissed his daughter's forehead and ruffled Bang Chan's hair.

After doing what they had been told, they went back up to Jasmine's room to brush their teeth and go to bed. Chan spent so much time there that he had pretty much everything he could need.

“Last week you left the pajama pants mom bought for you. Please use it, I refuse to share a bed with you again if you sleep in your underwear.”

“That only happened once.” He replied very embarrassed.

“I'm serious, Chris!”

Jasmine was about to argue with him, she could make him a list of all the times he had slept in his underwear, and she made him get up to change. Not even because it bothered her, but because it made her laugh to see him walking while he was still asleep.

“I don't quite understand what you are saying, besides you are spitting toothpaste. Is that how you plan to seduce Mark?” Chan’s joke ended in him being kicked out of the bathroom.

The next morning, they left home a little earlier so that the boy would have time to go to his house for the school uniform. But to their surprise, Jasmine's father stopped them to give them something to eat.

“You can’t leave without having breakfast. I know you always expect homemade pancakes, I’m sorry, guys.” He said handing them some sandwiches and some fruits. “You could think about that next time you decide to smoke weed in the living room in the middle of the week.” Jaz’s father said goodbye to them with a gentle smile.

However, the picture drastically changed when they arrived at Chan's house, not only because of the size of the building, but because as soon as they entered, they found the people who worked there collecting glass from all the broken dishes during the discussion the night before.

Trying to spare his best friend an awkward moment, Chan asked Jasmine to wait for him in the living room. His parents' room was right next to his and they were sure to continue arguing. Every week it was the same, his parents argued and then got back together, it was too exhausting for anyone, especially for a teenager.

Once at the school, Chan did not speak much, and Jasmine was trying to cheer him up when Changbin and Han charged him. Seeing his friends there made him regain his good humor a bit; besides, he was too busy trying to get the two of them off him so that he could think of something else. Finally, Bang Chan managed to push them and they took the opportunity to greet Jasmine, who could not stay long because Mark came for her.

“Don't tell me Jaz is dating that asshole.” Changbin said watching as Mark walked with his hand on the girl's shoulder.

“Well, it wouldn't be weird, after all they're from the same group. Besides, we already know that every girl Mark wants, he gets.” Han commented.

“She could do so much better. Chan, didn't you warn her? It's your friend, you should tell her that he's a shitty person and that he talks about all the girls he's dated.”

“Or better yet, don't say anything to her, save her a bad time and ask her out.” Han smirked.

“I go out with Jasmine every day.” Chan replied, trying to ignore what Han wanted to tell him.

“Don't be an idiot, ask her out on a real date.”

“Han, don't start with that. I've told you too many times that we're just friends. And of course I told her he's an idiot, but she doesn't want to listen to me.”

“I know I'm not very bright, but I understand basic things. What I can't quite understand is how the two of you are not together.” Changbin said at the same time that Han agreed with him.

The topic did not drag on only because Chloe passed with the rest of her group and when she saw Bang Chan, she smirked at him, something that the three friends saw.

“What the hell just happened?” Changbin asked as Han widely opened his eyes.

“I’m pretty sure she confused me with someone else.” Chan said laughing.

*****

Chan stayed at her best friend's house for a couple of days until things with his parents got back to normal. On the weekend, he went to the birthday party of Jaz’ father, where practically all the guests knew him for being friends with the girl since childhood. Even though they continued saying they were only friends, the night, something in the boy's smile as he spoke to a few guests had enchanted Jasmine.

“Princess, why don't you tell him you like him, huh?”

“Dad, you scared me!”

“You know why? Because you were almost drooling seeing someone."

“It’s not like that. I don’t like him, not like that…”

“You shouldn't be so scared to take that first step, many couples start like that, first they are friends and then…”

"Don't say those things, daddy.”

“What things?” Chan had already arrived and as soon as he sat down, the first thing he did was smile at the girl, who looked in the other direction. “What did I miss?”

“I was just saying that tonight she looks more beautiful than ever. What do you say, kid, am I right?”

“Dad!”

“You’re totally right, sir. You look great, Minnie. That color looks very good on you, and when you use your hair like that, you look even more stunning.”

Jasmine's father smiled with pleasure when he heard that last thing, and getting up, touched her daughter's shoulder in a conspiratorial way.

“I hope your mom isn't mad at me anymore for eating basically all of the party snacks. Do you think the ones I brought tasted very different from the original ones?”

“Chris, Mom will never forget that we ate all those boxes.” Chan laughed and Jasmine again lost herself in her friend's smile and those dimples on his cheeks that she had always found adorable; however, she did not allow herself to think about it anymore, it was non-sense.

*****

Christmas arrived and with it more problems at Chan’s house came. The couple argued to the point in which they decided that it was best to separate for a while. Luckily for Chan, he had Jasmine and her parents so he could stay with them. Jasmine's parents had always welcomed him at home, so even though the situation with his family was complicated, he had a pretty good time.

Shortly after the new year, and to welcome the new school year, Chloe had organized a party for everyone. Since Chan entered with his friends, he saw how Jasmine talked and laughed along with Mark. It wasn't the first time he'd seen someone ask her out, but there was something about Mark that he just couldn’t tolerate.

For her part, Chloe was determined that something would happen between her and Chan, and despite the fact that the rest of her friends kept saying no, and that Jasmine had refused to help her, the girl persuaded some of the guests to play with a bottle, including Chan.

When Chloe spun the bottle, the first to come out were Changbin and another girl. They continued playing and Han was at one of the best parties of his life, as the bottle pointed to him and all of Jasmine's friends, who were furious with Chloe for making them play as long as she had a chance with Bang Chan.

It was precisely Bang Chan who was next to be pointed out by the bottle while the other end had been right in the middle of Jasmine and Chloe. Everyone who was playing was making too much of a fuss, as they automatically assumed that the bottle pointed to Chloe, after all, she had been highly evident from early that she was interested in him. However, Jasmine and Bang Chan were looking at each other and for a moment, just for a moment, Chan was invaded by wondering how it would feel to kiss his best friend. Had he been the one to choose at that moment, it would definitely have been to kiss Jaz, but before he even processed what was happening, Chloe had gotten up and kissed him. While that was happening, Jasmine took some of her beer and preferred to look in the other direction.

Later that night, Mark insisted Jasmine to take her home, but since she always came back with Chan, she looked for him around the house until she saw him outside with Han and Changbin. The three of them were smoking and did not realize that she was getting closer.

“Hey, you can’t fool us, that bottle pointed at Jaz first.” Changbin said to Chan. “Didn't you really notice?”

"I don't know what you’re talking about.” Chan replied, completely avoiding the topic.

“Don't be an idiot, Chan, you saw it too before you ate Chloe.”

“You could’ve kissed Jaz instead of Chloe. Jaz is beautiful too. If they had made me choose myself …”

"Han, don't start. Jasmine is my friend, stop bringing it up. Nothing is going to happen with her.”

“You really don't like her? Are you stupid or just have bad taste on women?” Changbin asked pinching him but he only earned his friend hitting him on the arm.

“Minnie is beautiful, of course, but she and I don't have any other kind of relationship, so drop the damn topic.” He said starting to get frustrated, especially since he did not want to accept that for a few seconds he was about to kiss her in front of everyone.

“Chris” Jasmine reached up to them and pretended she hadn’t heard anything.

“Minnie!” Chan’s face went pale just by thinking she'd heard them talk. “How long have you been here? We didn’t hear you.”

“I just got here, I was looking for you. What's wrong with you, guys, why are you so nervous?”

“Nothing, we were just talking.”

“I was just coming to tell Mark will walk me home.”

“What? Why?” Chan asked that in such a tone that Changbin cleared his throat to make him relax a bit. “I mean… okay. Let me know when you're home.”

“Should I tell you or Chloe?”

Han and Changbin looked at each other and opening their mouths at exactly the same time, they turned around, wanting to disappear from there, especially when they saw Bang Chan's surprised face.

“It’s just a joke, relax.” Jasmine said winking at him. “Ok, I'm going, good night, guys, see you.” After leaving the guys alone, Han and Changbin were about to tease his friend, but Chan silenced them with a killer gaze.

The conversation between Chan and his friends dissolved any chance of something happening between them from Jasmine's mind. She even thought it was her imagination how Chan looked at her when the bottle had pointed at them.

‘Impossible, he was waiting for Chloe to come out.’ Jasmine thought the next morning as she ate breakfast.

“Good morning, princess, I thought you would go to Chan's house for breakfast, you usually go on Sundays.”

“Good morning, daddy” Jasmine said smiling when she felt her dad's kiss on her head. “I wrote to tell him that I would eat here. I don't know if he came home alone.”

“Is Chan dating someone?”

“No, at least not until yesterday”

“And how did you get back home? Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come for you.”

“Dad, I am not a little girl, you don’t need to worry. Besides, a friend was with me.”

“A friend?”

“You don't know him, his name is Mark, he's a nice boy.”

“I'm sure Bang Chan is better.”

“Dad, I can't believe you're still on this topic. It doesn't make sense, it really doesn’t.”

“How are you so sure, darling?”

“I heard him talking to his friends. They were asking him about me, and he said we were just friends, he said nothing will happen between us. It’s okay, after all he's right.”

“He's scared, he just needs a little push to realize that the most beautiful, good, and fun girl of all wants to go out with him.” He said tickling his daughter.

Amid all the laughter, Jaz’s mother came and asked if something had happened because she was at home and not with Chan, but her husband winked at the girl and changed the topic. Jasmine used to be very reserved with her things, she adored her mother, but the one she talked to practically everything was with her father, or with her best friend.

To be continued... 🐺

Next chapter

[thejennyeverywhereproject]

THGJE: Postmortem

I finished this story about six months ago, though it took rather longer to post. It's already kind of weird looking back on it: in the current phase of history, six months feels like forever.

When I started it, I was still in the early stages of processing the overwhelming isolation and panic of the pandemic, and found it difficult to write at all. @ununnilium had started writing a story that was written one sentence at a time, and I decided to do something similar: something that would let me ensure I wrote a short bit of something every day, no matter what.

I'd made a couple attempts at writing something about Jenny Everywhere (including the previous version of this blog) that hadn't gone anywhere. I basically had given up on the whole thing as the concept slowly died away, but, inspired by @aristidetwain and others' work to archive and build on past Jenny Everywhere material, I decided to give it another try.

I literally had no idea what I was doing when I started it off. I threw in bits of things I'd experienced and books I'd read, drawing on a wide variety of literary influences from Moorcock to Dumas to Brecht to radical trans literature like Stone Butch Blues and Sea Witch.

The pieces of the plot and themes gradually fell into place as I worked on this, and it was around the end of act 4 that I finally figured out what the story was about; the Dumasian portion of the story was the most planned and least improvised. I found it stressful to write but rewarding once it was done.

Over the course of the story I've referenced a bunch of other public domain/open source characters and concepts, most of which can be figured out pretty easily from the pdsh and Jenny Everywhere wikis. One exception was Voyage of the Zephyrus, a project that @ununnilium had been working on ages ago, intended to be a kind of vaguely Doctor Who-inspired story world about a dimension-traveling ship whose captain would share the memories of all those who held that post before them. They've been thinking about releasing the stuff they wrote for it as some kind of open-source project.

I didn't really revise the story as I wrote it, as I wanted it to be an unmediated expression of what I was thinking and feeling at the time as much as possible, and worried that if I spent too long to think about it I'd lose momentum as I had for so many other things. Having come out the other end of this, there's a number of things I'd do differently, but I'll let this story to stand as it is as

As I started this, I'd just moved out of the town I'd spent most of my life in and felt the need to redefine myself as a person and a writer. I wrote this to work through new feelings and ideas, to try and deepen my connection to I wrote this out of a very deep desperation and frustration, a prayer for something better in my life and the world. I don't think we're any closer to that, on the surface it seems like we're farther away than ever.

Still... I did manage to finish a long story, which I had thought I couldn't do. Who knows what else might be possible?

I want to thank everyone who's indulged this story, from the small Jenny Everywhere fandom on tumblr to the people on rec.arts.comics.creative. I think we've proven this concept has a future and I'm really excited to see where it's going from here on out.

I also wanted to add more things to the pool for future writers to draw on, so I'll just say the characters who were created for this including Glendalf/Lailoken, ARCHONET and so forth are open source, and people have blanket permission to use ideas and plot elements from this story.

And last but not least:

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition: This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, that others might use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

Thank you and good night.

[stay-tinystars]

Colors: Masquerade

Ship: Hyunjin x Fem reader

Non idol au, Soul Mate AU

Warnings: sarcasm, bitter feelings, tripping over things, slight hitting/slapping (nothing violent), Chan is a tease, reader is implied to be older, I think that's it.

Word count: 4.2 k

A/N: So I wanted to write something for Hyunjins birthday. I always have been intrigued by Soul mate AUs so I wrote one. I haven't seen this one done before, so I hope you all like it. I plan on doing a one shot for each SKZ member for this AU. So some skz members will feature slightly in this and future stories. The series will be called Colors.

I hope you enjoy! And Happy birthday to Hyunjin! He is amazing, talented, and just drop dead gorgeous! Happy 21st international birthday! --story published Mar 19 2021 6:00pm MDT

---------------------------

Most people couldn't wait to meet their soulmate. The one person who would change not only your life, but your eyes.

Everyone was born with two different colored eyes, they say those colors determined your childhood. Overall they generalized the colors; Blues usually meant they were inspired kids, inspiring themselves and others to do great things. Green meant they had luck on their side. Brown had resilient personalities, bringing a sense of dependability to others. Purples were very independent and creative. Grays had a sophistication that most children lacked. And so on and so forth. By the time you reached middle school everyone knew what their exact eye colors meant, and some say it predicted how you would find someone.

Eyes however didn't remain two separate colors your whole life. Once you met your soulmate they changed almost in an instant, color shifting for a few seconds until your eye color perfectly matched that of your mates. Some say time seemed to stop once they noticed their mates' eyes changing, but one thing was for sure no one felt their eyes change color, the only thing they usually felt was their heart speeding up. 

You originally couldn't wait to find your soul mate. You got caught up in the feeling of it all. You believed he would be everything you wanted and more. During your teens it's all you dreamed about, how you'd meet in some perfect way, how he would sweep you off your feet. However the past few years had made you bitter, watching friend after friend find their mate leaving you in the dust.

"You'll be the same when you find your mate" they would say as you grimaced as they would kiss and cuddle in front of you. Most of those so called friends never invited you to things anymore, because you couldn't relate because you didn't have someone. They said it was because they didn't want you to feel like the third wheel, but mostly you knew it's because they pitied you for not having someone. "It's a shame you don't have anyone, I hope he's still around somewhere"

You were starting to feel like you had some sort of disease, because that's how you were treated by those 'friends'.

Things only felt worse as you stared at the flyer someone slid under your door.

-----

Hyunjin pov

"Mandatory masquerade spring formal." He read as he lifted the flyer from the pile of mail next to his door. Hyunjin hated these mandatory regional events. At least this one was just a formal instead of a full costume ball, like the last one. The large cities throw these balls, three times a year. Anyone over the age of 20, who hadn't found their soulmate was required to go. This would be his third ball, he hoped it would be his last. Sure he wanted to meet his soulmate, but mostly he wanted all the girls who came to these things to stop throwing themselves at him, staring at his eyes hoping to see a change. Most would find it flattering, in fact Hyunjin did back in high-school he always loved the attention. Curious which girl would try during lunch that day. Now it was getting old, he wanted someone who truly saw his soul, not just his good looks.

Hyunjin sighed as he looked at himself in the floor length mirror, black suit pants, navy silk long sleeve button up with the top three buttons undone. A dark night sky scene was painted on the mask that rested on his nose. His long dark hair pulled away from his face. His eyes unchanged, still two different colors. One burnt umber, the other ocean blue.

He was curious of what color his eyes would change to once he met his soulmate, he heard it depends on how and when they meet.

For instance, his dad had similar eye colors to his before he met mom. They met on a stormy day, each on their way their jobs enjoying the rain. They met while dancing out in the light spring shower while waiting at a crosswalk. Now his parents both had beautiful bright gray eyes, the same color as the storm clouds as they parted for the sun that day.

Would his eyes turn the Navy he had chosen for this dance if he met her tonight? He sighed to himself, shaking his head slightly as he grabbed his things and left his apartment.

--

Reader pov.

At least the food they provided at these mandatory balls was delicious, it seemed the only incentive that was worth the trouble of being here. The numerous hors d'oeuvres were delicious, and you had a plate full of all the different types to make sure they still tasted delicious.

Truthfully you hated being here. You had been to too many of these things to count. At this point you wondered if your soulmate was dead, or lost somewhere. Simply because you hadn't met him yet, and it felt as if time was ticking. Maybe that's because your friends all found their mates within the year you all turned twenty. Now here you were five years later, still with miss matched eyes. One pewter gray, one lavender.

You wore the same dress you always did to these balls. At first it made you feel amazing, like a princess. Now it only brought you bitterness. The purple satin that faded to blue, a galaxy made of glitter across the bodice. The mask on your face was silver, making your eyes seem to shine.

"You look bored" a familiar voice got your attention, as he sat at the empty table next to you. Dressed in all black as he usually was. Looking devilishly handsome as always.

"Chan, I'm always bored at these things. You're the only one who talks to me" you sighed leaning on the table as you looked towards him. 

Chan was a god send at these things. He became your friend a few years ago, during one of these balls. His dimples made every girl swoon, it was the first thing you noticed about him, but what made you stay was the wonderful caring conversation that was so rare at these things. He actually wanted friends, not just a soulmate. He was truly a social butterfly.

"Maybe if you leave the table, and stop glaring at anyone who approaches, someone might talk to you." His mischievous eyes of emerald green and royal purple danced beneath his black mask, as he stole some hors d'oeuvres off your plate. Popping one into his mouth.

"Shut up Chan, not all of us are as charming as you!" you playfully hit his arm. He gasped softly and grabbed his arm in fake pain.

"I'm sure you could be somewhat charming. That is, if you took the "F off" stamp off your forehead." he teased making a face at you.

"Very funny" Rolling your eyes, looking back towards your plate of food, then towards the dance floor which was filled with eager young people, all dancing and talking. Switching partners every song or so. You watched as one couple suddenly stopped dancing, their eyes growing large. She squealed, jumping up and down as he hugged her. Another happy couple, another soulmate found.

You wanted to vomit.

"I want to know how neither of us have found our match, we've both been too far too many of these." You groaned, sliding down in your chair. Not caring how unladylike it was. You glanced towards Chan, who was just enjoying watching everyone.

"I suspect my match is elsewhere" his words wise, his eyes looking towards the newest happy couple fondly. "I think they might be at one of these in their own region"

"She probably is cursing your name right now, wondering why you are taking so long to find her." you started.

"Like you are cursing yours right now?" You wanted to smack that smirk off his face.

"Chan you can be infuriating." You stood, smoothing out your skirt. Chan chuckled following you. Knowing you wanted some fresh air.

"Maybe you don't want to crash the next regional dance with me." he nudged you as you both walked around the main crowd, towards the large outdoor balcony.

"Now that is a good idea, I didn't think you had any of those left" you looked towards him with a shocked expression. Your foot caught on something, then someone's body bumped into yours.

That's when you ended up flat on your back, your mask slightly askew.

The music seemed to stop. In fact it had. You looked at your converse clad feet which were tangled in the electrical cords from the DJ booth. Chan was laughing. The DJ scrambled from the booth to fix the electrical situation. You shifted, untangling yourself best as possible from the cords. Muttering a slight apology to the frazzled dark haired man, as he gathered the cords quickly.

"I'm so sorry!" A new voice said as he stumbled to his feet beside you. His navy shirt hanging loosely around him. "I wasn't even looking where I was going," he said, dusting himself off. Then looking at you, and offering a hand.

"It's my fault too, I wasn't looking." You said taking his hand, to help you to your feet. Then glaring at Chan who was beside himself with fits of laughter. "I was too busy chiding my friend" you gestured towards Chan, shaking your head.

"My name is Hyunjin" the handsome man smiled, his mask shimmered as the little iridescent stars caught light.

"Y/N " you said with a slight bow, fixing your mask.

"It's nice to meet you, I haven't seen you here before." he smiled, he was ridiculously attractive.

"Well she's been here, forever" Chan exaggerated as he leaned on your shoulder. You shoved him away.

"Shut up Chan."

"Well you have!" He put his hand up in mock defense.

"I'm so done with you!" You walked away, then turned to Hyunjin and gave a quick wave. He gave a small nod, as a girl approached him tapping him on the shoulder.

You took that as your queue to leave. You felt so done with everything, still hadn't felt that spark everyone gushed about. You felt slightly embarrassed about cutting the music with your own clumsy feet. You made a fool of yourself thanks to Chan, you just knew you needed out.

When you got home you were exhausted, and changed out of your gown, and quickly washed your face then just went to bed.

------

Hyunjin

Hyunjin nodded, as the strange but cute girl practically ran away. Feeling a small tap on his shoulder his attention was brought to a girl in a pink poofy ball gown. The music was starting up again, he knew she was going to ask him to dance. Why had he come in from the balcony?

"So I've been watching you all night. And…." Her eyes widened. "What color are my eyes?" She asked quickly, her words stumbling out of her mouth.

"Um.." Hyunjin cocked his brows as he looked closer, kind of confused. "Dark blue, and light green?"

Her face fell, then he saw multiple emotions flash over her face, ending in anger.

"Why are you here if you already have a soulmate? Shouldn't you be with them!" She practically yelled. Hyunjin was confused, as the girl slapped his arm and ran away. What a strange turn of events. First he ran into that girl, Y/n? Now he just got some weird girl thinking he had a soulmate, these balls got worse every time, maybe he would call it a night.

He went to the bathroom, still bewildered by the weird situation that just happened. As he took off his mask he looked in the mirror.

"What the hell?!" He yelled at his reflection, leaning on the counter, getting closer to the mirror. Both ofHis eyes a bright flaming orange. He felt as if he was looking at a campfire in his eyes. His mind started reeling. How had he met his soulmate? He had barely talked to anyone all night, he had hid on the balcony outside for the first hour of this thing, just eating the hors d'oeuvres that were provided. He then came inside to try to make the night worthwhile, and while looking at the decorated ballroom, he ran into someone, literally. That's when it clicked, the girl he literally ran into, it had to be her. She was the only one he talked to!

"Y/N, I've got to find Y/N!" He grabbed his mask and ran out of the bathroom.

Two hours of searching later, Hyunjin sat defeated at a random table. He sat his mask down and slumped in the chair, as he watched happy couples in pairs all around the room. That's what was supposed to be happening to him right now, staring into his soul mates eyes, dancing the night away without a care in the world.

Who had ever heard of a soulmate who didn't know. A soulmate who didn't say anything. These stupid masks, they cover up half your face, distorting the eyes. The dark room. How did they expect people to see the change with those factors?

He always heard that when you saw the change and knew, but he hadn't seen her eyes change, plus she ran off so quickly. Maybe he should've gone after her. No, that would've been creepy, plus he didn't know at the time.

What was he supposed to do? He wasn't even sure exactly what she looked like. That's when he saw his chance. He swears that's Y/Ns friend from earlier, in the all black and black mask talking to the DJ right now. Hyunjin quickly stood and bee lined towards the man in black.

"Excuse me, your Chan right?" Hyunjin said, approaching him.

"Yes, and you're Hyunjin?" The man smiled, as Hyunjin nodded. Chan resumed watching the people on the dance floor in front of him.

"Yeah, I, uh, ran into your friend Y/N earlier" Hyunjin rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah you did, quite literally." he chuckled, side eying and gently elbowing Hyunjin.

"Well that's the thing. I kind of need to find her."

"Did she break your phone or something?" He asked.

"No, she's kind of my soulmate." Hyunjin blurted.

"What?" Chan choked on air, as his eyes bugged out. He turned and grabbed Hyunjin's shoulders, looking him straight in the eye, the corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he saw the orange in his eyes.

"She's the first one I talked to tonight at this stupid thing. After hiding on the balcony. I didn't even know it happened til another girl started to flirt with me." Hyunjin now turned his attention to the dance floor.

"I'm sorry to tell you, but she's long gone." Hyunjin felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

"I figured, since I've been looking for her for over two hours" he heard the other male grimace on his behalf.

"So I was wondering if you could help me out. All I know about her is her first name." Hyunjin looked towards his shoes, trying to distract himself with the nice polished shine.

"Well I could help," Chan smirked and Hyunjins head snapped up looking at him, "but I'm not sure I owe Y/N the courtesy of helping her out." Chans mischievous two toned eyes shone playfully.

"I thought she was your friend" Hyunjin was slightly confused, yet again this evening.

"Oh she is, she just owes me after bailing on me tonight." He looked at his phone. "And being as I have no messages from her freaking out. I bet she didn't even notice before she went to sleep"

They exchanged information, Chan excited to be in the middle of this. Curious of how you would react in the morning. Promising Hyunjin to keep him informed.

-----

Your pov

The blaring alarm on your phone made you groan, you silenced it and rolled back over. Some days you wish you didn't have to work, but being a manager over editing on the largest magazine in the city meant you couldn't miss work. Yet you still fell back asleep.

When your alarm went off to tell you it was time to leave you woke up in a panic. You quickly showered and dressed, grabbing some breakfast then you were out the door, not even bothering with makeup as you were going to be late.

"Oh my gosh! Tell me everything!" Joy, your second in command gushed as you entered the office.

"Nothing out of the ordinary at those stupid balls. Food again was the only reason to attend" you muttered as you set your things down on your desk, and plopped in your chair.

"Obviously that's a lie! Now tell me what really happened!" Joy pestered. Her vivid seafoam green eyes, staring you down. She found her soulmate just after she started working with you, but she always wanted to gossip and talk about those meeting their matches. It intrigued her for some reason.

"I told you everything. I went ate food, watched all the stupid romantic couples, headed outside. Tripped on the cords for the DJ booth then left." You huffed, leaning back. She put her hands on your chair making you face her. You cocked your eyebrows at her.

"You don't know? How can you not know" Her words confusing, and accusing.

"Joy, what are you talking about?" You groaned. She then dug in her purse bringing out her compact.

"I know I didn't do my makeup today." 

"Just look in the mirror"

"But-"

"Just look in the mirror Y/N" you grabbed the compact from her hand and looked at yourself, trying to see what she was talking about. Nothing seemed out of place, you didn't have any bruises from the collision last night. You went to close the mirror when you glimpsed orange. You immediately pulled it back to your face. Eyes wide.

"I…. What?" Your words lost and confused.

"Now tell me about him!" She sat on the edge of your desk looking at you.

"I only talked to Chan last night. And we both know he isn't my match" you sat staring at the mirror in your hand. Going through everything that happened, you grabbed your phone. Quickly texting Chan.

--What color are your eyes???

you hadn't heard of knowing someone for years before they became a soulmate but you had to ask.

"Well you had to have met someone new" she nudged your leg.

"That's the thing, I don't remember talking to anyone else. Just Chan annoying me, then-" the sudden realization hit you. "I ran into someone, literally"

"Of course that's how you would meet your match" she nodded. "You are kind of clumsy"

"Oh hush!" You pushed her slightly, she just laughed.

"So tell me about him"

"Um, he was handsome? I think his name was Hajun? No, Hyunwoo? I don't remember. I was a little frazzled last night. Plus we only talked for a second after we both ended up on the floor" you muttered, leaning back in your chair again looking at the ceiling. When your phone buzzed.

-why are yours perhaps a different color

-say orange? 😏

--Well I never expected you to be my soulmate after all this time….

- what are you going on about? My eyes are still a perfect green and purple.

--Chan what do you know...

- Far more than you think

--Chan tell me! Did you talk to Hyunwoo?

-I don't know a Hyunwoo.

-do you perhaps mean Hyunjin?

-- YES! Hyunjin! Are his eyes also orange

-- dumb question

--you told me orange before I told you what color my eyes are.

-this is actually very entertaining

- you're over thinking everything aren't you.

-- Shut up Chan!

-- Do you have his info

- Maybe, but you told me to shut up so I will!

--Chan! No!

-- Please!

--I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you! I need his number.

- Only if you do something for me

-- I don't like where this is going...

- you never do.

- dinner 6 pm tonight, at Ombu downtown.

- be there and I might give you what you want after you pay for dinner.

-- You only like me for my money

- I have more money than you!

--So you say, but I always pay.

- just meet me at 6.

"So Chan knows who it is, but won't give me his information" you said looking at Joy who was now actually working at her desk. Like you should be.

"Typical Chan, let me guess. Making you buy him dinner in exchange for the information." You nodded. "I swear whoever his soulmate is better cook well, he will do anything in exchange for food" she shook her head.

Work was over soon enough, and so you changed into jeans and a blouse, did a small amount of makeup and headed downtown. Ombu was your typical spot to go with Chan. Delicious Korean barbecue, their meat selections far better than the other places around. Which is why Chan always insisted on going there. 

"Welcome, Y/N! Chan is already waiting for you" Rose the usual hostess said guiding you towards your usual back corner booth, Chan loved this booth, he could people watch and it had the best hot plate.

"Thanks Rose!" You say as she motions towards the table. Your eyes grew as you looked at the table. Not only seeing Chan, but you couldn't stop staring at the orange eyed man next to him. "Hyunjin, right?" You said softly as you took your seat, he nodded a smile came across his face as he stared at you.

You finally started to understand why those couples would just stare into one another's eyes. His eyes were intriguing, bringing you a sense of peace. His eyes looked like the flames of the comforting campfires you enjoyed so much as a child. You almost wanted to just curl up and look in his eyes forever.

"Well, now I can see this is going to be awkward. So I'm just going to order food to get the dinner started" Chan said. You hadn't even realized the waiter had come to the table to take your order.

"Sorry" you and Hyunjin muttered at the same time. Followed by nervous giggles.

"I wasn't expecting to see you tonight," you said to Hyunjin. "Chan wanted dinner in exchange for your information. I didn't think he would bring you"

"Well, I asked him to keep me informed last night, after I couldn't find you. So once he told me you guys were getting dinner I wouldn't let him tell me no" his hand drifted towards yours on the table.

"So you're persistent," you noted.

"Very." He smirked moving closer.

"Look, guys I want dinner. Can't you guys make heart eyes at each other afterwards. I just want to eat. And if this continues, you guys are going to make me sick." Chan groaned.

"I'll try to behave," you said as you reached towards Hyunjins hand, taking it in yours.

"You don't know how to behave." Chan teased. You just rolled your eyes, shaking your head. You usually would say something back, but you were slightly distracted by the soft circles being drawn by Hyunjins thumb on the back of your hand.

Two weeks later you sat in Hyunjins apartment. Cuddling as you watched an action comedy. Your head resting on his chest as his arm draped around you. You started to get to know your match well. You found out he worked at the large musical academy. He taught dance, and music history. He was doing quite well for himself, he had a nice place, a car, and was decently responsible with his money.

Hyunjin was your soulmate, your match. Aside from that first night at ombu with Chan; the two of you did your best not to be disgustingly cute in front of those who didn't have their match yet. Such as his roommate Han, who usually ended up joining the two of you for movie nights.

Truthfully life was good, you felt less bitter about it all. Of course it wasn't perfect, and you still had a lot to learn about the other, but this was what you needed. You needed someone who was whole, who had a kind heart and soul. And that was what you got, it was just a perk that he was ridiculously attractive.

Hyunjin was grateful to have finally found you too. He didn't mind being younger. He loved your caring heart, protected by its sarcastic shell. He couldn't believe he met someone who already had so much drive and compassion. He loved your playful banter with his friends, he was grateful you accepted his friends and did your best to make them comfortable. Plus he couldn't ever take his eyes off of you. In his mind you were perfect in every way, despite the flaws you insisted you had.

He felt lucky being the first of his friends to find his match.

-- Orange meaning: warmth, enthusiasm, success, encouragement, change, determination, stimulation, happiness, fun, sexuality, freedom, expression, and fascination. --

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

It’s a little weird that they made all the East Asian characters like Tulip, Jae, Victor and Shiratori mischievous, shady or just straight up criminals. I’m not saying they’re not good people or friends because of that, since most of them are for the most part but it’s still kind of a weird occurring trait. Not sure if this was intentional though, I certainly hope not.

I never noticed that before. It reminds me of how someone pointed out a while ago that all of the villains or antagonistic characters were girls. (Which...now that I think about it, must have been prior to the introduction of Shiratori) I think when it comes to situations like this...yeah, it's definitely a coincidence. I mean, Tulip, just as an example, was created by the original head writer and he had a far more complex vision of her than just "mischievous" hence why she has actual depth in Years 3 and 4. That still leaves the question of the current writers, and even setting that aside...intent is different from impact and whether or not this was on purpose...yeah, it is a little weird once you notice it.

The similarities between Tulip and Jae are notable, and I remember seeing a theory that Tulip was originally supposed to have that role in the story. I don't know if that's true or not, but it could explain the similar personalities. Though would they have made them both Asian just because of that? Seems...odd. The similarities between Victor and Shiratori are far more pronounced and I don't think that's about them being Asian so much as it is them being inherently connected, which I'm still assuming they have to be. (They have. The same. Face. I'd almost assume Shiratori is Victor's father, but he doesn't look quite old enough to have a son Victor's age...)

Overall, the four of them are different enough for me to not actually see it as a pattern, especially since Victor really hasn't done anything shady or untrustworthy yet, not technically. He just gives us a bad vibe. Beyond that, I dunno, Tulip and Shiratori are both Japanese? But big deal, that doesn't mean anything. Liz and Andre are both Black, doesn't mean they're connected at all. This is one of those cases where it skates close to the edge of making me raise my eyebrows, but isn't quite bad enough for me to worry about it, at least not yet.

Psst, Jam City, there's an easy way to avert any question of stereotyping. Just introduce another Asian character who is lawful and completely innocent. It wouldn't be that hard - in fact, you already have someone in waiting that you could use. Cho Chang. I'm genuinely surprised that we're thirty chapters in to Year 7 and that we've yet to see her. But it's not too late, guys! Even if it was something simple and small, like a Head Kid quest where we help out a lost first year.

[one-abuse-survivor]

before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

[jazminebrightxx]

Like magic

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SHOW: teen wolf

CHAPTER ONE: “oh how mature”

EPISODE: takes place after 3x01 “tattoo”

KAITLIN JONES always had a soft spot for perfect entrances, she was a swimmer, she dived head first and didn't look back. That was until now... as she stood by her blue Mini Cooper, her heart hammered in her chest. First day back. After four years, she was finally back to the town she'd always call home

Kaitlin was born and raised in beacon hills until she was twelve, and her dad moved her whole family to Boston for work. Things were good at the start, but the tide soon came in and the water crashed against the rocks, knocking down everything in its path, including her family. A lot of things can change in five years...

She sighed, shaking her head slightly as she prepared herself for her new title "new girl" god, she dreaded it but it had to happen, it happened before. everyone's new once in their life. Her hand clasped around the necklace that fell from her neck, giving it a little twirl as the triangle glistened in the sunlight. Okay, no more stalling, Kaitlin. She shut the door of her car, swinging her bag around her shoulder and locking the small vehicle. She stared at the school ahead, pulling her phone out and looking for her locker number, she had it saved in her notes...254.

She didn't hesitate in ploughing forward, her stance and strut confident as her bag swayed with her hips, a few unfamiliar glances made her way, she ignored them. Pushing open the doors, she took in the scenery, students calmly made their way through the halls, conversing and commuting. She kept her pace, her eyes scanning the lockers for her number.

This school was a lot different than the ones in Boston. It was calmer, not to say the halls weren't busy, there was quite a few teens roaming the halls but this school was nothing compared to Fenway. Once she found the locker with her number on it, she unlocked it, pulling a few of her books from her bag out and shoving them neatly in the metal locker.

She pulls out her schedule, using a small packet of Blu-tack and sticking the paper to her locker just Incase, she had a spare on her phone anyway.

The distant sound of heels grabs Kaitlin's attention, she finishes shoving the books in, glancing to her side, knowing who would be standing next to her.

"Kaitlin freaking Jones" the strawberry blonde beams at the small brunette, who smiles widely. Her heart hammering once again

"Lydia freaking Martin" kaitlin repeats Lydia's tone before she's pulled into a bone crushing hug. When the two pull away, Lydia checks Kaitlin over, squeezing her in her arms. "Oh my god, look at you!" Kaitlin giggled, Lydia sounded like a mother "oh shush, it hasn't been that long"

Lydia gave Kaitlin a indescribable look, her brows furrowed together and her lips pursed "Kate, it's been four years"

The brunette laughed "and that's four too many" the pair of friends laugh, Kaitlin noticing the brunette that stood awkwardly beside Lydia. The strawberry blonde jumped, a lightbulb going off

"Oh, Kaitlin, this is Alison Argent, Alison this is my childhood bestie Kaitlin Jones"

"Nice to meet you" Alison greets when taking to Kaitlin who smiles "likewise" Lydia holds onto Alison's arm, returning back to her little conversation and catch up with Kaitlin

"So, since when are you back in town?"

"Only a few days, today's my first day of school"

"You've gotta tell me everything...tell us everything that happened. But now" the bell went, huh, great timing "we've gotta get to class, what do you have now?"

"Uhm" she checked inside the locker "French"

"Ms Morrell?" Kaitlin nodded, the name made her ears perk up. Alison smiling widely "Me too, let us walk you to class" She suggests to the brunette, who shuts her locker

"Lead the way"

***

Kaitlin strolled through the halls of beacon hills high school, a hall pass in her hand as she made her way to the bathroom. Her first class was going better than expected, people here were super nice and welcoming and Alison had helped her around a-lot. Turning a corner, she stops, seeing two tall brunette boys stood at a locker, they huddled together, looking as if they were spilling secrets.

She smirks, knowing exactly who they were, Stiles still wore flannels and moved skittishly while Scott listened as he ranted. The two boys looked tense, it's surprising that Kaitlin couldn't hear every word the two were sharing. She sneaks up behind Stiles, his back to her as she hid from Scott

"I don't know. Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic" Kaitlin sees her opportunity and takes it immediately, coming out from behind the pale boy and resting her elbow on his shoulder "a little? I could see you popping a vein from the bathroom"

Stiles jumps at the sudden voice, letting out a startled Yelp as his eyes go wide, Scott stands shocked, recognizing the girl immediately

"Kaitlin?!" He stares at the brunette, who grins like a fool. Scott lets out a surprised laugh as he pulls the girl into a hug, squeezing tight,

"Hey Scotty" she greets him using the nickname she had given him when they were six. When Scott pulls away, Stiles gets a good look at her face, recognizing her, she still had slightly tanned skin, with freckles dashed around her face, the same little scar the sat on her chin, she'd had it years, the story behind it foggy. He goes red, remembering who she was and how he knew her

"Oh my god, Katie" Kaitlin's heart jumps at the nickname stiles had given her when she was young, it had stuck and was only reserved to people she cared for. Kaitlin stares at Stiles, a huge grin on her face "Stilinski!" She laughs, pulling him into a hug, she lets out a startled laugh when she's pulled off her feet as he lifts her to his height.

The boys were a lot taller now, they'd always had a height difference to Kaitlin but now they towered over her easily, so it wasn't hard for Stiles to lift her. When the two pull apart she stares at the two boys for a second before sighing. Scott and Stiles had been her best friends since she could remember, her mother was friends with Claudia Stilinski and Melissa McCall, so the three were friends from a young age, she hated when she had to leave them, it hurt her and hit her hard. But she never forgot them, four years and they still  held that same spot in her heart, nobody could replace them, she made friends in Boston, but it wasn't the same. "You have no idea how much I've missed you guys" she tells the boys, Scott nods in agreement, the smile not leaving his face.

"Are you back home?" Scott questions her quietly, Kaitlin nods happily "You're stuck with me" she laughs, the two boys joining her

"How's Kodin and Tyler?" Scott questions again, shoving his hands into his pockets, Stiles crossed his arms over his chest, a large smile on his lips. Kaitlin's smile fades slightly at his words, letting out a sigh.

"Uh Kodin's good, he's not coming to school 'till tomorrow, it's his first day as a trainee nurse" Scott's eyebrows raise in surprise, Kaitlin gives him a look "I know"

"And Tyler...well, actually, Tyler passed...two years ago, he had cancer" Scott stops, his smile fading, Stiles hands fall from his chest, Guilt radiated from Scott "Kate, I'm so sorry"

She waves him off "it's ok Scott you couldn't of known" Tyler fought long, and very hard against the cancer, he'd been diagnosed a few months after they left beacon hills, it was in a bad stage and things didn't look good, when he died, a piece of Kaitlin died with him, he was her big brother, the death struck the family hard, but it inevitably brought them closer.

"I'm really sorry katie" Stiles says, reaching a hand to her arm, a solemn expression on his face.

She shakes off the emotion that built "Nows not the time for that, how have you guys been, what's been going on" she changed the subject, even though she'd be likely to know the answer. Her uncle deaton kept her updated on the news in beacon hills, everything including the supernatural, she knew everything, but now wasn't the time to tell them...not yet.

***

Later Kaitlin had arrived back home and was sitting in her kitchen waiting for the food she was making to be done

The sound of the front door opening and closing was heard through the house, Kaitlin turns her attention to Natalie Jones, her mother who drops her jacket onto the coat hanger beside the door

she walks into the kitchen "ohh something smells good"she rubs her hands together, taking a seat at the table

Kaitlin smiles "i made your favorite"

"Carbonara?" The youngest nods and her mothers smile grows wider. things had been hard on the family since Kaitlin's father had left, her mother had been drowning in medical bills from Tyler and had been really stressed. luckily enough she had Kaitlin and Kodin who had been a massive help to her, Kaitlin took up a few shifts at a local diner called Joe's and cooked dinner for her mother and brother, who was a trainee Nurse at the hospital with his mom and helped his mother a lot

“I love you, you know that, right?”

***

a little while later and Kaitlin's sitting at the table with her mother, the two about to dig into their dinners when a loud bang is heard "Kodin's home" Kaitlin whispers. Natalie gives her daughter a look "how do you know"

the front door swings open, the loudness of the bang sounding through the house, a tall brunette walks in, his face was similar to Kaitlin's, freckles dashed his cheeks and his eyes were a similar colour.

"I'M HOME!"

Kaitlin gives her mother a look, Natalie laughing lightly, the twins had a special bond, they annoyed the absolute crap out of each other, but at the end of the day, Kaitlin would die for Kodin and vice versa.

"No one cares"

Kodin comes strolling into the kitchen, not looking at his sister but with a smug smirk playing on his lips. Kaitlin eyes go to his hand

His arm is held in the air beside his head, and he's... flipping her off. Kaitlin rolls her eyes, dropping her spoon "Oh how mature, Kodin "

"Oh stop, you two" Natalie hushes her two children playfully as all three are now smiling

Kodin takes his seat at the table after he grabs his bowl and a spoon and fork "so how was your first day back guys?"

"Well I met up with a few of my old friends and ran into Scott and Stiles today" Kodin states as he digs into his food, he takes a glance at Kaitlin. Kodin was also apart of the Scott, Stiles and Kaitlin group, he also had his own group of friends that he was close with, but the four were inseparable when they were young

"Yeah I saw them two, and Lydia, she introduced me to a new girl she was really nice" Kaitlin cuts in, and Kodin head snaps to her "Lydia as in like Lydia Martin?" Kodin questions a bit to quickly, Kaitlin's now the one with the smug smirk playing on her lips

"Aww Kodin are you blushinggg" She mocks her twin brother who kicks her from under the table , which only makes her burst out laughing, her mother smiling.

"I'm kidding kody calm down" her laughter dies down after a bit and the small family catch up on their day so far. Once there finished their food Kaitlin gets a text from an unknown number, eyeing it curiously she opens the message

Unknown

Hey do you wanna go for coffee?,  joes is still open and their donuts are to die for

Kaitlin's eyes narrowed at the message, confusingly she sends a quick reply back

Kaitlin

Who is this?

Unknown

Oh shoot sorry should have told you who it was, ahah it's Alison.

Kaitlin

How did you get my number?

Alison

Lydia

Kaitlin

Ah I see, uhm sure who's coming?

Alison

Myself, Lydia and our two friends, Scott and Stiles we can introduce you to them

Kaitlin smirks at the message, deciding to have a little fun she texts back

Kaitlin

Sure! It'll be fun meeting new people what time?

Alison

In about an hour? We can pick you up the guys are meeting us there

Kaitlin

Okay cool see you then x

The brunette runs up the stairs and throws on a new pair of light blue denim jeans and a grey hoodie pulling her hair into a messy ponytail and grabbing her phone, she runs down stairs and jumps onto the sofa, turning on the latest episode of greys anatomy. After about half and hour kodin makes his way down the stairs. Loudly as usual

"Do you have to be so damn loud?" She calls to the brunette who ignores her

"I'm going out, you need anything?" He doesn't look at her, looking at the tv.

"Nah I'm going out soon anyway"

"Ok cool see you later" he nods and walks out the door slamming it , Kaitlin rolls her eyes and continues watching the tv until she hears a car horn.

She jumps from the couch looking out and seeing Alison's car outside her house. She turns the tv off and runs into the kitchen

"I'm going out with Lydia" she quickly tells her mom, while grabbing her keys and phone, her mother smiles and nods

"Okay have fun, don't be too late" Kaitlin gives her mom a kiss on her head and walk for the door

"Love you!" She opens the door hearing her mom say the same and walks to the car. She jumps in the back, Lydia occupying the passenger seat and giving her a warm smile

"Hey girls" she warmly greets as the girls greet her back "So how was your first day back?" Lydia questions as they drive to joes.

"Eh it's school, but I got to catch up with some old friends" she smiles at Lydia knowingly and she returns the gesture. After a few minutes they arrive at the nice little corner cafe called joes. Alison finds a parking spot and they jump out of the small car, and into the building.

The trio walk up through the isle of booths, she sees Stiles, Scott and another boy not facing the girls. As they grow closer and closer to the booth Kaitlin starts to recognize the person, oh she definitely recognizes him.

"Kodin?" She questions as the three boys including her brother turn to look at her

"Kaitlin?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Confusion laces through her voice as Alison looks at the two curiously

"You two know each other?" She questions genuinely confused

"He's my twin brother" Kaitlin explains as she slides into the booth beside Scott and Stiles as Lydia slides in beside Kodin who smiles along with Alison "Oh, well anyway this is Scott and stiles" the brunette continues to introduce the two boys to the girl who smiles. Scott and stiles both have confused expressions on their face but Kaitlin give them a look as if to say "just go with it". The two boys stay quiet and Scott catches on sticking out his hand, trying his best to hide his grin

"Hi Kaitlin, I'm Scott and this is my best friend Stiles" he says, stiles stares between the two oddly along with kodin

"What the hell is going on?" He questions and stiles doesn't take his eyes off the pairs clasped hands oddly "You just took the words out of my mouth" he says, his eyes confused

"Dude you guys know each other, why are you doing that?" Kodin questions and Kaitlin glares at him

"Wait you guys know each other too?" Alison questions, more confused than ever. Kaitlin and Scott laugh, and Stiles... well he's just given up trying to understand his two childhood best friends.

"Kaitlin, Kodin, Stiles and I grew up together." Scott explains to his ex girlfriend, after his laughter dies down

"Wait why didn't you tell me this?" The huntress questions Kaitlin curiously

"I don't know, wanted to have a mess I suppose" she smiles and Kodin rolls his eyes at his sister before a girl approaches the booth, notepad in hand

"Hi my names jade, what can I get you guys today-" the waitress locks gazes with Kaitlin and smiles "Oh hey Jones, you not working today?" Kaitlin smiles at jade and shakes her head "nah only Thursday to Saturday"

"Oh lucky, anyway what'll it be" the group begin to order their food, Kaitlin only ordering a shake and fries. "

When jade walks away, all eyes turn to Kaitlin and she sighs "I took up a few part time shifts here, to help my mom" She quickly explains, eyeing her brother who's eyes soften

"How come?" Alison pushes, Lydia kicks her heel and Alison gasps, glaring at Lydia "shut up" Kaitlin smiles at the two "No Lydia, it's okay really" she takes a quick glance at her brother who slightly nods to her

"My oldest brother Tyler passed a few years ago, and my moms been up to her eyeballs with bills so myself and Kodin help take care of a few things around the house" she quickly explains, Alison's eyes soften but she remains silent

"Yeah, I'm a trainee nurse at the hospital with my mom" Scott's gaze goes to Kaitlin

"Kate, Kodin told us, my moms his trainer" Kaitlin's brows raise, glancing at her brother "why didn't you tell me?" Kodin shrugs.     

"I forgot" Kaitlin rolls her eyes, lightly kicking him in the shins "ow, jeez I'm sorry" the group around them laugh. A little while later the groups food arrives and they catch up, Alison getting to know more about the Jones twins.

Kaitlin looks around her at the people she surrounded herself with. Alison and Lydia laughing at something Kodin had said. While Stiles, Scott and herself had been reminiscing over they're childhood. For the first time in a while she was calm and happy. Maybe things would be smooth sailing...

Oh how wrong she was.

——~——

JAZMINE SPEAKS

Oh god. This chapter isn’t my favorite but it’s the first of many. Might take me a while to get the rest out because you can’t just copy and paste onto here which is quite annoying😫 anyway. I hope you enjoyed and come back for more!!!

[noviceaoiryusei]

「 Myojo 2019.12 」 Nakayama Yuma with Lil Kansai interview

Talent can be discovered in unexpected places!

"Nice to meet you", the juniors passionate TALK!

"I want to see my juniors at my home town for a long time" it's Yuma's suggestion.

It's a face to face with a fresh group called Lil Kansai who has a 10 year gap in between him. ♪

An unexpected yell from their senior, lilkan was impressed!

Toa: First, let's have introductions starting with the leader!

Kotaro: I'm the leader, Okazaki Kotaro. I was appointed by Jo-kun during the recording of "Maido! Jani~".

Yuma: Are you trusted by everyone?

Kotaro: It hasn't been done at all!

Yuma: *fufu* (he is laughing)

Ruku: I'm Toma Ruku. It is said that I'm similar with Senga-kun.

Yuma: Similar!? Then, do you like dancing?

Ruku: I like it!

Fuga: Ruku has a stylish way of dancing.

Yuma: I heard about it while I was shooting, are you going in to practice, Toa-kun?

Ruku: Us three went. Right, Kota-chan?

Kotaro: Uhn, I went.

Toa: I think I'm going to start practicing dancing hip hop by next week. Ah, I'm Shimazaki Toa, my member color is red.

Yuma: Did you decide on the member color?

Toa: We've decided it together with Ohkura-kun.

Takuya: Originally, the colors was decided somehow but, Ohkura-kun made a proper decision (for the member colors). I'm also introducing myself, I'm Nishimura Takuya. My name is similar with Kimura Takuya-san.

Yuma: (looked at the kanji notation) Really! Is your motor skills good?

Takuya: I'm a second in black belt in karate in Japan. I also had an invitation from soccer club team but I entered Johnny's.

Yuma: Really!? If you (Nishimura and Fuga) had a fight here, no one will be able to stop you. (laughs) Fuga also exhibits an image of karate even on stage.

Fuga: Ah, I'm Onishi Fuga. That's right, I also do karate. I think Yuma-kun saw it when I first performed at Shochiku-za. On the other hand, Yuma-kun exhibits a good image of dancing.

Yuma: I wasn't good at all but I was trained by Yara-kun.

Kotaro: Ruku seems happy.

Yuma: Do you like Yara-kun?

Ruku: I watched "THE YOUNG LOVE DISCOTHEQUE 2019", it's so cool. What does it feel like to be trained by Yara-kun? I heard that there used to have a bamboo sword...

Yuma: He carries it! He says "Get it right!!", it's like a gag. (laughs) Is there anything that you want to do in the future?

Takuya: Our familiar goal is to have a solo performance. Among the named groups, we're the only ones who haven't performed solo yet. Shounen Ninja and the Tokyo Juniors are performing on their own at "Johnny's Ginza".

Kotaro: This year's fall and winter, we'll be back up at Naniwa Danshi and Ae! group's tour.

Fuga: If we can do it, we'll also be in it by next year.

Takuya: But it'll be meaningless if we can't fill up the audience.

Yuma: Well then, you can't just do your best right? Who are you're 5 closest seniors?

Fuga: Naniwa Danshi!

Yuma: Naniwa Danshi. When I was still in Osaka, Jo and Ohashi we're the only ones there, Daigo isn't even there yet. Moreover, right after I joined Kansai Junior, I had never participated in a Kansai Junior live show.

Lil Kansai: Eeeeh!!

Yuma: I wonder if I'm at the first live performance in Shochiku-za? There's B.A.D., BOYS, Veteran, 7WEST. I used to be silly (back then).

Fuga: Do you have some kind of rule regarding hierarchies?

Yuma: You can know what kind of position you are in Kansai Junior by position of the dressing room at Shochiku-za.

Toa: Ah~! It's still there until now.

Yuma: First of all, the room (on the left side from the stage) on the other side (when climbing the stage).

Takuya: I also moved up there since the formation of our group.

Ruku: If you enter a public bath, it somehow felt that you've become an adult.

Takuya: I know. The first bath is at UmeGei. The first 5 dressing rooms are the one closest to the shower area.

Kotaro: Just right before the seniors will come. (laughs)

Yuma: When I'm still there, it's normal when everyone says "Let's go! Let's go!"

Ruku: Even now, my seniors still invite me. I hope they'll refrain from doing it.

Yuma: When you take a bath, Bunichi-kun pretends to be naked and dead. He always do that until someone comes in.

Lil Kansai: Ahahahaha!

Yuma: He might be doing it again~that's what I thought.

Takuya: When Bunichi-kun visited (us) at Shochiku-za, he went to the bath.

Yuma: Bunichi-kun will even take a bath even when he's only visiting. Did everyone had a job in Tokyo yet?

Takuya: During that time, we were at Tokyo Dome (Johnny's Tandoku Koen "Johnny's Jr. 8.8 Matsuri ~Tokyo Dome kara hajimaru~).

Yuma: I see, how did it go? Did you get nervous?

Toa: Not that much.

Takuya: Because we had random talks with BiShounen.

Yuma: When I went to Tokyo for the first time, Kisumai we're rehearsing at Tokyo Dome. I was only 14 years old back then when Johnny-san took me around. It was awkward.

Fuga: I also took a bath at Tokyo Dome. I felt awkward when SixTONES and Snow Man came. In Kansai Junions it's only me, Taisei-kun and Kojima-kun.

Yuma: It feels like SixTONES and Snow Man are like Kisumai or KAT-TUN.

Takuya: Yeah. I also would like to know what kind of routine does Yuma-kun do before a performance.

Yuma: Two hours before the actual performance, we're stretching our body for 30 minutes. Then, practice your vocals and relax with a stretchy ball that'll make you sway. That's how I prepare for it.

Toa: Microphone...

Takuya: We're taking a bath, talking, taking a nap. Ah, but it's not about the dressing room but now I'm doing my voice training!

Kotaro: (that's) From 3 days ago. (laughs)

Takuya: It isn't! The voice training teacher said I can do it alone since I'm doing good.

Yuma: I think everyone has their own way. However, when it comes to things that you don't like, when you can do it little by little, you'll start liking it. I think that it's good to slowly add things that you like.

Takuya: It extends your strength when you start something new. I think that's what's important?

Yuma: I'm already 25 years old, it better if you'll extend your strengths but everyone is still young so I thought it would be good to learn something; you'll not know if you won't try. I still even have such a talent. I have a talent of playing the ukulele! If I had the opportunity to play ukulele during work, I practice a lot then, I became able to play lots of things.

Toa: Amazing.

Yuma: Because (your) talent could be in various things so, just keep on trying various things.

Takuya: Until now, what's the best thing that your seniors had said?

Yuma: Hmmm. There were lots of things that has been said by lots of people but I don't specifically remember who said it. (laughs) But Yasuda-kun said "it's okay to be confident but don't be overconfident", that's what I remember. It's good to have confidence, it means that you're in a good condition. I was told with this when I was 15 years old but I didn't understand what does it mean during that time. But after I became 20 years old, I started understand (what it means).

Takuya: Just like our age. It's amazing if you still remember it after 10 years.

Kotaro: Yuma-kun, when you're 15 years old, what kinds of things have you thought of?

Yuma: I wanted to do a play. I turned on the camera on private, I wrote a script and edit it, I made a short film production.

Toa: I played with my friends during school holidays. I also did it yesterday. (laughs)

Ruku: What do you mean by that?

Toa: Like I'm a director for an anime scene and reproduce it in a silly way.

Takuya: Even Kotaro started practicing the piano!

Kotaro: I only play the level of performing in our family's piano. It's still difficult to do it properly.

Fuga: But it sounds like there's a little pitch.

Kotaro: It is slightly pitched. (laughs)

Takuya: I can hit about 1/3 of the original sound.

Yuma: I was kind of careless but whatever it is, it will still have an impact in my life -- it's something that I didn't know during that time. A day might come that even playing tag may be useful too!

[diabolikal-shitposts]

@venusthevirgin

PART 2 OF 2--

SAKAMAKI

Warnings:

• Mildly NSFW

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI:

• Ruki’s fairly patient as he leans against the doorframe, listening in to his s/o's quiet sobbing and rapid heart rate.

• It breaks own his unbeating heart, he can't believe he failed to make it a known fact to his s/o that there's nothing he would change about them.

• He could've just gone in and dragged them out if he wanted, but Ruki is a civilized being so he decided to choose the least barbaric route.

• First things first, he gets them to stop crying and take in deep breaths.

• Secondly he talks to them, reassuring them that he loves them and that he'd appreciate it if he could see them properly.

• It takes a lot of coaxing and gentle promises he would only make to his s/o, but they finally come out.

• Like the gentle lover he can be, he grabbed their hand and kissed it, giving them a small grin before leading them into an embrace.

• “If you don't feel like continuing what we began, then we can do something else, alright?” he would mutter into their hair, taking in the clothes that hugged his s/o's body's.

• He would definitely ask them to wear it more often.

KOU:

• He's a little disappointed at the bump in the road, but whatever, nothing he can't deal with~

• His voice has a teasing lilt as he leans against the bathroom door, describing all the things he'll do to his S/O if they come out.

• He doesn't hold out either, He describes his deepest desires to them and e x a c t l y how he'll pleasure them when they come out.

• He knows exactly what words to say to make his S/O feel weak in the knees.

• He can smell their arousal from the other side of the door, knowing they won't be able to hold out for much longer.

• "Kitten, you don't need to be embarrassed~ If you come out, I promise to make you purr~"

• When his s/o comes out, he yanks their head back and bites into them unexpectedly.

• He pulls away with a smirk, licking off the blood from his lips as he toys with their mouth, dragging their lower lip with his thumb as he hummed.

• “Now, what's that first thing I said I'd do? Oh! That's right, a little punishment for making me wait so long~ How does a little orgasm denial sound?”

YUMA:

• He doesn't have the patience to wait for his S/O to work up the courage to come out.

• And he most definitely lacks the right words to cheer them up, so it's down to one thing.

• He'll bust into the bathroom--eyes drinking in the outfit and how it fits against his S/O's curves.

• “Oi, Sow! What's the big-- O h.”

• He's pleasantly surprised at the outfit he barely had enough time to register before his s/o dashed out.

• Yuma is grinning like a doofus as he picks up his struggling s/o who demanded to be left alone—but he's not having any of that.

• They get unceremoniously thrown on the bed and attacked in passionate kissed, his hands intertwining with theirs.

• “God, I can't wait to fuck you.” He groans in their ear, but it's more than just words.

• His s/o has an effect like no other on him, and the outfit alone had him harder than a calculus exam.

• “I don't care what ya look like sow, you sure as hell ain't gonna stop being goddamn irresistible!”

AZUSA:

• He'll try his best to encourage his S/O to come out of the bathroom.

• His voice is soft and reassuring and he's really trying his best to lessen their insecurities.

• He thinks his S/O is absolutely stunning--what on earth do they have to be insecure about?

• He’s so genuine and sweet, It's almost heartbreaking to hear him so perturbed by his s/o's discomfort, it's all his fault for not being a better lover he believes.

• “Ah, Eve… It's okay... I like you...no matter how you look like. If...anyone's unsightly... it's me... please come out...and... make fun of me...okay? Oh..! You can...make me even more...disgusting...if you want...I don't mind..”

• When his S/O steps out, he lights up, moving to grab one of his many, many knives to fulfill his end of the deal.

• Of course, he's stopped by his s/o who tells him otherwise and tried to convince him that *they're* the gross one.

• It ends up turning into a “who’s the world's biggest scum” competition mixed with a complimenting contest for a while.

• Some outside interference (Yuma walked in and told them both to shut it) ended the little dispute.

• It had dragged on for so long, his s/o forgot all about feeling disgusting and pulled them into a kiss before apologizing.

• Which then turned into him apologizing and then the cycle began anew-

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA:

• He barely has any time to react and take in his s/o's appearance before they turn around and hide back in the bathroom.

• He would try to be patient and talk his S/O to come out and face him again.

• If his words don't work, he'll absolutely let himself into the bathroom to acquire his S/O with a much more straightforward method.

• He's still courteous and gentle, refusing to force them out and worsen the situation.

• ”There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re stunning in that, my love.”

• He'll embrace them, letting them cry out the rest of their insecurities into his chest and calm down before deciding whether or not they want to continue.

• He’ll lace his fingers through his S/O’s and lead them into the bedroom.

• No matter what they choose, he'll make sure they're comfortable and keep the situation in mind to better approach it next time something similar happens.

SHIN:

• It's a fact that he will n o t wait for his S/O to come out.

• If there's anyone who's a bigger impatient shit than Ayato, then it's Shin.

• He's banging on the door, telling them to quit wasting time, if he wanted to make fun of them he'd had done it ages ago.

• Doesn't teleport inside, he just knocks the door off its hinges and storms inside

• “Oi, you got a lot of nerve wasting time like that— If we're gonna do it, then let's do it. If I didn't want to fuck you, then i wouldn't have agreed to have you as my S/O; Is that clear?”

• He looks down at his lover, his face showing his displeasure as he offers them a hand to stand up.

• His S/O and him are definitely going to have a long night after that— He’ll claim it was because he had pent up anger from dealing with his s/o’s mood, but in reality it was because he wanted to show them he truly does love them and slow passionate sex is the only way he can demonstrate it.

KINO:

• He’s a brat.

• The moment he's denied something, he's pissy.

• Example? His s/o hijacking the bathroom and refusing to show him their body like promise.

• He's twisting and turning the door knob, almost ripping it off the door as he yells for them to get out already.

• “What the hell is your problem?! What's with you— We've fucked before, wearing an outfit means nothing, you'll be naked again anyway!”

• After enough door pounding and shaking, his s/o comes out, demanding he shuts up for a moment, stops causing a ruckus and take their feelings into consideration for once.

• He’s definitely taken aback, blinking a few times as he quiets down and sits down on the edge of the bed.

• His chest feels tight as he listens to his s/o vent.

• He looks like a scolded child after hearing them unwrap every little discomfort and intrusive thought, especially the things that had not improved because of him.

• “I-I’m sorry...I’ve been a jackass, haven't I? Come here, I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. Let me make it up to you.”

• He's a lot more docile after getting knocked down a peg or two by his s/o, he lets them take control of the situation so he doesn't overwhelm them after having turned violent just a few moments ago.