diabolikal-shitposts

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Hey!

It's been a hot minute and I just wanted to say I am working on the asks, and some new shitpost content, it's just very slow going bc I'm trash 😂😅 but they'll be here soon! (In theory-)

I also just wanted to say thank you for everyone who continues to visit this blog to like and reblog things! I get notifications every day from here and I love seeing them, so thank you for being so active here! I literally never imagined this blog would get this much activity when I made it 😂

I hope everyone stays safe during these crazy times.

Keep an eye out for some more sweet, sweet shitposting and answers to scenarios coming your way! 💕

-Heather

PS:

If you d o n ' t see your ask answered once I start uploading everything, it's because I didn't feel comfy with writing about the potentially triggering content that was asked for, sooo yeah. I'll probably also make a rules list for asks at some point too.

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Hi there! I'm curious. How would Kanato react if he caught his infant son playing with Teddy and then, all of a sudden, the baby speaks his first word; a loud, excited shout of the stuffed bear's name. I hope that was clear enough😅. Thanks!😁

Kanato is furious, never once has he left his most prized item out of his sight, and for it to suddenly go missing has him feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions.

He's angry, he's terrified, his hands are shaking and he himself can't determine if it's rage or anxiety, but once he finds his child holding his Teddy, he settles for rage. It doesn't matter to him that it's his child, they should know better than to touch his friend. He practically stomps over, fuming and fully intending to rip the stuffed bear from his child's little hands until— "Teddy!"  The small child cried, bouncing in their spot as they held it up towards their father.

Kanato stops in his tracks, stunned. All anger he held dissipated as he stared down at the tiny thing, so joyfully holding the bear. Despite all the toys around them, all the blocks, the crayons, the rattles– they wanted to play with his Teddy.

Maybe....maybe Kanato's child also found his friend special to them as well? The thought certainly was enough to bring a grin to Kanato's face, crouching down to awkwardly reach out a hand to his child and friend. "Yeah, that's right... that's Teddy."

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Would it be alright if I requested Richter, Karlheinz, Cordelia, Christa and Beatrix for the 'smells' post? I remembered the one you did about the DL boys and I loved it! ^_^

Of course! I'm so sorry this took literally forever. Life got crazy but we're still here! I promise (': Enjoy!!

KARLHEINZ: He smells of rubbing alcohol and leather, of the sea before a storm and a wildfire in the winter and a dozen other spices and chemicals that you can't quite put your finger on.

RICHTER: He smells like the breeze whistling through the trees, and the woody smell of campfire smoke on a summer night.

CORDELIA: She smells of perfume and vanilla, of the matches you burn to your fingertips just to feel something.

BEATRIX: She smells of the pages of a book that's been read one too many times, of fresh linen and the smell of the air before a rainstorm.

CHRISTA: She smells of flowers, of a walk through the moonlight with the soft smell of roses and lilacs and honey on the air; or of humid brimstone, the kind that lets you know that an abandoned place has had history.

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WE DID IT GUYS, OUR FIRST PORN BOT - Nic

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IT'S HERE!

FINALLY-

NIC IS AN ANGEL PLS APPRECIATE HER ❤

-Heather

[diabolikal-shitposts]

@venusthevirgin

PART 2 OF 2--

SAKAMAKI

Warnings:

• Mildly NSFW

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI:

• Ruki’s fairly patient as he leans against the doorframe, listening in to his s/o's quiet sobbing and rapid heart rate.

• It breaks own his unbeating heart, he can't believe he failed to make it a known fact to his s/o that there's nothing he would change about them.

• He could've just gone in and dragged them out if he wanted, but Ruki is a civilized being so he decided to choose the least barbaric route.

• First things first, he gets them to stop crying and take in deep breaths.

• Secondly he talks to them, reassuring them that he loves them and that he'd appreciate it if he could see them properly.

• It takes a lot of coaxing and gentle promises he would only make to his s/o, but they finally come out.

• Like the gentle lover he can be, he grabbed their hand and kissed it, giving them a small grin before leading them into an embrace.

• “If you don't feel like continuing what we began, then we can do something else, alright?” he would mutter into their hair, taking in the clothes that hugged his s/o's body's.

• He would definitely ask them to wear it more often.

KOU:

• He's a little disappointed at the bump in the road, but whatever, nothing he can't deal with~

• His voice has a teasing lilt as he leans against the bathroom door, describing all the things he'll do to his S/O if they come out.

• He doesn't hold out either, He describes his deepest desires to them and e x a c t l y how he'll pleasure them when they come out.

• He knows exactly what words to say to make his S/O feel weak in the knees.

• He can smell their arousal from the other side of the door, knowing they won't be able to hold out for much longer.

• "Kitten, you don't need to be embarrassed~ If you come out, I promise to make you purr~"

• When his s/o comes out, he yanks their head back and bites into them unexpectedly.

• He pulls away with a smirk, licking off the blood from his lips as he toys with their mouth, dragging their lower lip with his thumb as he hummed.

• “Now, what's that first thing I said I'd do? Oh! That's right, a little punishment for making me wait so long~ How does a little orgasm denial sound?”

YUMA:

• He doesn't have the patience to wait for his S/O to work up the courage to come out.

• And he most definitely lacks the right words to cheer them up, so it's down to one thing.

• He'll bust into the bathroom--eyes drinking in the outfit and how it fits against his S/O's curves.

• “Oi, Sow! What's the big-- O h.”

• He's pleasantly surprised at the outfit he barely had enough time to register before his s/o dashed out.

• Yuma is grinning like a doofus as he picks up his struggling s/o who demanded to be left alone—but he's not having any of that.

• They get unceremoniously thrown on the bed and attacked in passionate kissed, his hands intertwining with theirs.

• “God, I can't wait to fuck you.” He groans in their ear, but it's more than just words.

• His s/o has an effect like no other on him, and the outfit alone had him harder than a calculus exam.

• “I don't care what ya look like sow, you sure as hell ain't gonna stop being goddamn irresistible!”

AZUSA:

• He'll try his best to encourage his S/O to come out of the bathroom.

• His voice is soft and reassuring and he's really trying his best to lessen their insecurities.

• He thinks his S/O is absolutely stunning--what on earth do they have to be insecure about?

• He’s so genuine and sweet, It's almost heartbreaking to hear him so perturbed by his s/o's discomfort, it's all his fault for not being a better lover he believes.

• “Ah, Eve… It's okay... I like you...no matter how you look like. If...anyone's unsightly... it's me... please come out...and... make fun of me...okay? Oh..! You can...make me even more...disgusting...if you want...I don't mind..”

• When his S/O steps out, he lights up, moving to grab one of his many, many knives to fulfill his end of the deal.

• Of course, he's stopped by his s/o who tells him otherwise and tried to convince him that *they're* the gross one.

• It ends up turning into a “who’s the world's biggest scum” competition mixed with a complimenting contest for a while.

• Some outside interference (Yuma walked in and told them both to shut it) ended the little dispute.

• It had dragged on for so long, his s/o forgot all about feeling disgusting and pulled them into a kiss before apologizing.

• Which then turned into him apologizing and then the cycle began anew-

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA:

• He barely has any time to react and take in his s/o's appearance before they turn around and hide back in the bathroom.

• He would try to be patient and talk his S/O to come out and face him again.

• If his words don't work, he'll absolutely let himself into the bathroom to acquire his S/O with a much more straightforward method.

• He's still courteous and gentle, refusing to force them out and worsen the situation.

• ”There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You’re stunning in that, my love.”

• He'll embrace them, letting them cry out the rest of their insecurities into his chest and calm down before deciding whether or not they want to continue.

• He’ll lace his fingers through his S/O’s and lead them into the bedroom.

• No matter what they choose, he'll make sure they're comfortable and keep the situation in mind to better approach it next time something similar happens.

SHIN:

• It's a fact that he will n o t wait for his S/O to come out.

• If there's anyone who's a bigger impatient shit than Ayato, then it's Shin.

• He's banging on the door, telling them to quit wasting time, if he wanted to make fun of them he'd had done it ages ago.

• Doesn't teleport inside, he just knocks the door off its hinges and storms inside

• “Oi, you got a lot of nerve wasting time like that— If we're gonna do it, then let's do it. If I didn't want to fuck you, then i wouldn't have agreed to have you as my S/O; Is that clear?”

• He looks down at his lover, his face showing his displeasure as he offers them a hand to stand up.

• His S/O and him are definitely going to have a long night after that— He’ll claim it was because he had pent up anger from dealing with his s/o’s mood, but in reality it was because he wanted to show them he truly does love them and slow passionate sex is the only way he can demonstrate it.

KINO:

• He’s a brat.

• The moment he's denied something, he's pissy.

• Example? His s/o hijacking the bathroom and refusing to show him their body like promise.

• He's twisting and turning the door knob, almost ripping it off the door as he yells for them to get out already.

• “What the hell is your problem?! What's with you— We've fucked before, wearing an outfit means nothing, you'll be naked again anyway!”

• After enough door pounding and shaking, his s/o comes out, demanding he shuts up for a moment, stops causing a ruckus and take their feelings into consideration for once.

• He’s definitely taken aback, blinking a few times as he quiets down and sits down on the edge of the bed.

• His chest feels tight as he listens to his s/o vent.

• He looks like a scolded child after hearing them unwrap every little discomfort and intrusive thought, especially the things that had not improved because of him.

• “I-I’m sorry...I’ve been a jackass, haven't I? Come here, I’m so sorry, baby. I love you. Let me make it up to you.”

• He's a lot more docile after getting knocked down a peg or two by his s/o, he lets them take control of the situation so he doesn't overwhelm them after having turned violent just a few moments ago.

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Okay, so-

I finally got the second half of that ask to save as a draft. Progress, I guess. But, I'm too wimpy to try and post it because I don't want to have s i x failed attempts littering my notification bar--it won't even let me discard them. I'm struggling.

Anyway! It saved as a draft, sooo I'm making Nic post it from there when she sees my spam of stressed induced messages 😂

Stay tuned because it'll be here soon!

-Heather

[diabolikal-shitposts]

I've been trying so hard since like 9 to upload part 2 of that lingerie ask but Tumblr is saying n o

I'll keep trying ;-;

-Heather

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Hey! So I thought of this really cute scenario for S, M, and T boys! I was hoping y’all could elaborate on! Scenario: S/O promises to wear a super sexy/cute lingerie set for their Diaboy, but once they put it on, they get super flustered and embarrassed, resulting in them hiding in the bathroom and leaving their Diaboy waiting impatiently. (Would they try to lure them out of the bathroom with sweet talk, or just bust in and throw the S/O over their shoulder and get straight to ~werk~?)

Hi! I loooved this idea and Nic and I had a great time working on it, despite it taking a while for us to complete (sorry). Hope you enjoy~! ❤

WARNINGS:

• MILDLY NSFW

PART 1 OF 2--

MUKAMI AND TSUKINAMI AND KINO

THE SAKAMAKI BROTHERS:

SHUU:

• He'd probably fall asleep while waiting for them to come out-

• He's honestly surprised his s/o thinks he's shallow enough to care for body image.

• I mean, he's no “hot bod Alpha Chad™” either, so he can't really criticize them.

• He waits for a good 5 mins in bed before he decides enough is enough.

• He's horny, he's uncomfortable in his clothes and he just needs his s/o right now.

• He easily teleports himself inside the bathroom, arms wrapping around his s/o's form.

• “Seriously, your worrying is bothersome. You look fine, it's coming off anyways so it's not a big deal.”

• Not the most smooth talker or empathetic, but he does reassure them that if they don't want to do anything anymore, it's fine but “how dare you lewd woman, lead me on with such an outfit and back out at the last minute.”

REIJI:

• He is a patient man, but the idea of lace/leather wrapping around his S/O's curves is not something he has the patience to wait for.

• Like the gentleman he is—or is trying to still behave like after catching a glimpse of them— he waits patiently for his s/o.

• He wants to respect his s/o's wishes, really he does.

• He walks to the door and gently knocks, only talking back when no response is given.

• But F UC K if they don't look fine as all hell in that outfit.

• “May you open the door? I would like to admire you properly. As you know, I would have never taken you as my significant other had I not believed you to be perfect for me. I cherish everything about you, flaws and all. I apologise if my initial reaction gave you the impression of otherwise”

• He stays put until his s/o comes out, not pushing for them to hurry up.

• He makes sure they’re okay with going further through the initial plans

AYATO:

• If not, he'll let them change into something comfortable while he prepares something warm for them both.

• He doesn't have time for this. He's hard, and he needs release now.

• He's going to rip it off anyway, so what's the big deal?

• He'll fuck his s/o regardless of whether they're wearing lingerie or sweats, so he really doesn't get why they're so embarrassed.

• Definitely the most impatient of the bunch when horny

• He would absolutely burst go into the bathroom to drag them to bed.

• As soon as he sees the outfit he's ready to go more than ever.

• “Hey, if you're worried about your weight, you can exercise by riding on my cock!” *smug grin*

• "H-holy shit that's hot--!"

• He's never heard of common sense in his life

• Ayato: Horny. Dick: Out. (I don't think they even made it to the bed he'd just fuck them on the spot.)

LAITO:

• Laito would know just the right words to say to lure them out of the bathroom.

• He either physically drags them out of the bathroom or makes them laugh so hard they forget why they were nervous in the first place.

• He's such a smooth talker, it's almost second nature.

• But of course, since it's his beloved there's truth to his words, so they feel more genuine and he takes his time to soothe them; reassuring them that he'll love how they look with it on.

• But he can't wait to take it off them so he can truly appreciate what they're offering-

• He'll tell them everything he's going to do to them if they open the door, smirking the whole time as he listens to their heart rate increase.

KANATO:

• He's surprised at the sudden appearance and disappearance of his s/o, he couldn't even make out what they were going on about.

• But oh boy, now he's angry they refuse to come out and talk to him.

• "If you come out of the bathroom, I'll teach you how to s h i v e r~"

• He's pounding at the door, ordering them to come out and let him look at them.

SUBARU:

• He's literally just as embarrassed as they are.

• His voice is shaky as he tries to reassure his S/O that he's sure they look wonderful.

• He's even more furious when they tell him no and to go away.

• “I SWEAR TO GOD S/O, I'LL WRING YOUR FRAGILE LITTLE NECK IF YOU DON'T COME OUT RIGHT NOW!”

• He's fuming when they finally step out, taking in the outfit they so desperately tried to hide.

• He scoffs and crosses his arms, his s/o feeling meeker in his presence.

• “Of course you'd feel disgusting in that, I'm offended just looking at it! You call that Lace? I've seen amputated spiders do better than this pathetic excuse of a fabric, and the pattern is h i d e o u s”

• He practically rips it off his s/o's body, glad to get rid of the offending clothes and pushing them on bed; they still needed to be taught a lesson for making him angry.

• His face is guaranteed to be as red as Ayato's hair and he hasn't even seen his S/O yet.

• He is not a good motivator. He’s stuttering and blushing and his S/O would probably come out just to make sure he’s okay-

• He tries, really he tries hard to compliment his s/o, but every word he even thinks of just has him turning away from the door and turning beet red, trying to escape their non-existent gaze.

• ”Anxiety says it's MY turn to hide in the bathroom”

• Honestly, he wishes he could express to them what he feels for them but it's so hard to put it into words

• So he puts it into actions and waits patiently for them.

• When they finally come out, he pulls them in for a gentle hug, trying not to startle them as he kisses their forehead.

• “Y-you're really amazing a-and pretty-- no, Beautiful-- NO, sHIT GORGEOUS FUCK--”

• He's just so tender with his s/o after, and makes it his goal to remind them that no, they're not a gift; they're a goddamn miracle.

[diabolikal-shitposts]

I'm making Kino fit, Heather

@differentlandheart

Part 3 of 3--

SAKAMAKI

MUKAMI AND TSUKINAMI

KINO:

(after hitting the spider)

[diabolikal-shitposts]

@differentlandheart

PART 2 OF 3--

SAKAMAKI

KINO

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI:

KOU:

YUMA:

AZUSA:

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA:

SHIN:

Sorry Kino you didn't fit-

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Hello! Can you do a headcanons about the S/M/T/Kino reactions when they woke up and they notice that there is a giant spider on there nose looking at them?

Hi! Sorry this took sooooo long!

PART 1 OF 3--

MUKAMI AND TSUKINAMI

KINO

THE SAKAMAKI BROTHERS:

SHU:

• The spider is the alarm clock-

REIJI:

AYATO:

LAITO:

• Effective immediately-

KANATO:

SUBARU:

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TUMBLR IS DEVOURING MY POSTS I'M TRYING TO FORMAT AND ANSWER ASKS THAT ARE FINISHED AND NONE OF THEM ARE WORKING I'M UPSETTIO-

-Heather

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"SHUCK ME FASTER, SOW-"

Yuma wasnt born, he was harvested.

imagine an asmr where u unpeel a corn and yuma is there and he says curse words

[diabolikal-shitposts]

Happy new year's everyone!!

[diabolikal-shitposts]

UPDATE:

No one would know who wins-

-Heather

I just discovered your amazing blog! I love it! I work at Disney and 'known' many of the characters in the Magic Kingdom like Ariel and Elsa. What princesses would be a match for the S, M and T bros?

Thank you so much!! And that’s really cool! Wow!

THE SAKAMAKI BROTHERS:

SHU: Aurora because they could just sleep for eternity together and he’d be down- Okay but seriously she’s so genuine and positive and I think she would be really good for him.

REIJI: He would be a good pair with Giselle (I know she’s not an official disney princess but she’s worthy to me-) because he would love how spotless everything is. The animal thing was weird at first but he grew to accept it.

AYATO: Ayato might not like it but Merida would be a good match for him because she wouldn’t put up with his crap. She’s bold and daring and they’d fight all the time but man would they love each other. You’d never know if they were actually fighting or just flitring. They don’t know either. They’d be the couple that drives each other up the wall but are also inseperable and adore each other to bits.

LAITO: I’m breaking the disney princess rules again but Meg. Meg would be fantastic with Laito. She’s bossy and doesn’t put up with anyone’s shit and is so independent and yes. Just yes. He would enjoy the challenge of actually reeling her in because she doesn’t even bat an eye in his direction. Once he does finally convince her, they’d be so good together. She’s a f l i r t and oh man their banter would be fantastic.

KANATO: He would be good with Ariel because they would initially bond over how many siblings they have and now sucky it is but they would enjoy exploring new things together and seeing nee sights.

SUBARU: She may not be everyone’s favourite, but I think Subaru would be a good match with Snow White. She’s soft and gentle and so patient and I think she would really bring out the best in him.

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI: He would adore Belle because they could cuddle up in a library and just read together and be cute. She’s intelligent, she reads, she’s badass, what more could a guy want?

KOU: Tiana would be so good for this boy. She’s so genuine and wonderful and she’d be so supportive of his career. They’d sing and he’d tell everyone about how well she cooks and how amazing she is.

YUMA: Pocahontas would be a good match for him. She would be able to keep up with him physically and she would love helping him out with the garden. They would go on long walks and just enjoy spending time in nature with each other.

AZUSA: He would pair well with Anna because she’s so kind and patient and she doesn’t give up. She would really bring out the best in this wonderful boy.

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA: RAPUNZEL. Because ohhhh my god yes. She would braid flowers into his hair and paint his room bright colours and fill his world with light and warmth. He might be intimidating to everyone else, but to her he’s about as soft as a pillow. She would demand to be taken on adventures and he would be more than happy to oblige. They would be s o cute.

SHIN: M u l a n. She’s so strong willed and wouldn’t let him boss her around. I think it would be a huge shock at first, but he’d grow to enjoy her sass. It would be fun for him. It’d be /good/ for him to learn how to chill out and not be so bossy.

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THE ONLY PROOF OF HIS EXISTENCE IS A USED CONDOM FOUND WASHED UP ON THE BEACH EVERY NOW AND THEN

MAYBE ANOTHER SON HERE OR THERE

-Heather

THE DL BOYS BUT AS SHARKS

THE SAKAMAKI BROTHERS:

SHU: He would be a Nurse Shark because he’s just relaxed and wants to sit in the water-

REIJI: He would be a Blue Shark because they’re long and slender just like this tall stringbean.

AYATO: He would be a Tiger Shark because he’s “mildly” agressive but also super pretty-

LAITO: He would be a Leapord Shark because they’re beautiful and are usually fairly docile.

KANATO: He would be a Caribbean Reef Shark because they’re known to become agressive in the presence of food-

SUBARU: HE WOULD BE A GREAT WHITE SHARK BECAUSE HE’S REALLY MISUNDERSTOOD BUT HE’S ACTUALLY A PRECIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL BEAN AND HE DESERVES THE WORLD-

THE MUKAMI BROTHERS:

RUKI: He would be a Blacktip Reef Shark because they’re absolutely stunning and agile and live in social groups with distinct hierarchies.

KOU: He would be an Oceanic Whitetip Shark because they have really unique behaviours like being diurnal (meaning they’re awake during both the day and night) which Kou most likely is because of his concerts.

YUMA: He would be a Bull Shark because he’s large and bossy and will fight you.

AZUSA: He would be a Bamboo Shark because he’s just small and gentle and wonderful.

THE TSUKINAMI BROTHERS:

CARLA: He would be a Whale Shark because they’re literally the most beautiful thing ever just like him-

SHIN: He would be a Greenland Shark because he’s ancient and can’t see- *shots fired*

OTHER:

KINO: He would be a Hammerhead Shark because he’s kind of strange-

BONUS:

KARLHEINZ: DAAAADY SHARK DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

I’m not even a little sorry.