#I know tumblr isn’t really a religious place but if anyone wants to add them to their prayers I would appreciate it

[caterpillarinacave]

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[nighthaunting]

I know we’re all just clowning here on tumblr dot com but I do think the perception of Morgott as like, ultra-religious and sort of blindly following the Golden Order despite their hatred of Omens is a really contextless reading of his situation.

If we read the description of his great rune it says:

That the Omen King was born of the golden lineage, and that he was indeed the Lord of Leyndell.

Morgott was the rightful ruler of Leyndell, Omen or not that was his golden city full of people who would revile him if they knew of his true origin.

I think his motives are less someone who’s tricked themselves into believing in something that hates him and more someone who’s wanted a place where he belongs for so long that now that there’s finally a place that he provably has a right to he’s never leaving.

Morgott isn’t deluded about what the Golden Order is or he’d never have invented the Veiled Monarch. Even the lines about his becoming the Erdtree’s protector don’t really indicate he had a particularly faith-based reason for doing so, but rather that he found that he came to love the Erdtree despite not knowing love.

Morgott is the gothic heroine who just inherited a big cursed estate but he wants a place that’s his own so bad he moves into the haunted house anyway and starts loving the architecture despite it being full of ghosts that hate him.

Morgott who led the Night’s Cavalry to hunt Tarnished, and beat the shit out of Rahdan, and launched the Seige of Mt. Gelmir and prosecuted the bloodiest and most costly war in the Shattering is not a guy who is getting his blind fundamentalist on, he’s a guy who’s decided that he’ll pile up a mountain of corpses before he lets anyone take away or threaten his place and is willing to be extremely proactive about defending it.

Editing to add:

And see the thing is, I think there’s even more nuance to it than just Morgott finally having a scrap of something to call his own and being willing to defend it with all his might!

In hindsight, I actually think Morgott had a better idea than anyone what the Tarnished would eventually have to do to get to the Elden Throne.

His dialogue as he’s dying makes it clear he’s known about the thorns blocking the way into the Elden Throne and been considering every way anyone might get through them.

In his dialogue as Margit in Stormveil, he says very specifically “the flame of ambition” and speaks of snuffing that flame.

I think Morgott realized that the only way a Tarnished could get into the Elden Throne would be to burn the Erdtree, and not only has he come to love this fixture of the haunted house he chooses to live in, but he knows that burning the Erdtree would destroy the place he calls his own.

Is it any wonder he’s so proactively trying to stop any Tarnished from even approaching Leyndell in the first place, when in his eyes it wouldn’t be unreasonable to view a sufficiently powerful Tarnished as a direct threat to the piece of the Lands Between that he’s carved out for himself?

[sylvielauffeydottir]

Hi I just saw your post about Israel and Palestinian. I don't know if you're the person to ask or if this is a dumb question but I was wondering if anyone has considered starting a second Jewish state? I was wondering because there's a bunch of Christian countries so why not multiple Jewish ones.

Sorry if I'm bothering you and Thanks for your time.

That’s actually a pretty interesting question. I am going to apologize right now, because I essentially can’t give a short answer to save my life.

I’m not a ‘Jewish Scholar,’ so while I can speak with some authority about the history of Zionism, I definitely couldn’t speak about it with as much authority as others. I mentioned in at least one of the posts I have written about the history of plans for a ‘Jewish state’ when Zionism was originally being proposed, and I can kinda of track the history of Zionist thinking for you if you are interested, though essentially it’s just about arguing where to go. But there are better scholars for this than me, so I would recommend Rebecca Kobrin, Deborah Lipstadt, Walter Laqueur … idk. Maybe just read some Theodor Herzl, honestly. With all of that said, I can speak with some authority about the post-war history of this in the Middle East. So let’s go.

In post-war times, there has really only been one serious discussion of an alternative Jewish state, as far as I know. And actually, this is part of why I find it so ironic that people are campaigning so hard to be “anti-Zionist” and to express views like “anti-Zionism” in their activism, because the Jews in Israel who are most anti-Zionist are actually the settlers of Palestinian territories, who want to secede and form a “Gaza-State” called Judeah. There's a great book about this called The Deadly Embrace by Ilana Kass And Bard O'Neill, if anyone is interested. Anyway, most of those people, who are largely Haredim (the Ultra-Orthodox Jews, though some of those settlers are semi Orthodox), have essentially been waging a “culture war” about what it means to have a Jewish state and what the identity of that Jewish state should look like basically since the 1980s.

There is a really good article about this that you can find right here written by Peter Lintl, who is a researcher at the Institution of Political Science for the Friedrich-Alexander Universitat. I’ll summarize it for the lazy people, though, because it’s like 40 pages. Just know that this paragraph won’t be super source heavy, because it is basically the same source. Essentially, the Haredim community has tripled in size from 4% to 12% of the total Israeli population since 1980, and it is probably going to be about 20% by 2040. They only accept the Torah and religious laws as the basis for Jewish life and Jewish identity and they are critical of democratic principles. To them, a societal structure should be hierarchical, patriarchal, and have rabbis at the apex, and they basically believe that Israel isn’t a legitimate state. This is primarily because Israel is (at least technically, so no one come at me in the comments about Palestinian citizens of Israel, so I’ll make a little ** and address this there) a ‘liberal’ democracy. Rights of Israeli citizens include, according to Freedom House, free and fair elections (they rank higher on that criteria here than the United States, by the way), political choice, political rights and electoral opportunities for women, a free and independent media, and academic freedom. It is also, I should add (as a lesbian), the only country in the Middle East that has anything close to LGBT+ rights.

[**to the point about Palestinians and Palestinian citizens of Israel: I have a few things to say. First, I have recommended this book twice now and it is Michael Oren’s Six Days of War, which absolutely fantastically talks about the ways in which the entire structure of the Palestinian ‘citizenship’ movement, Palestinian rights, and who was responsible for governing Palestinians changed after the Six Days War. If you are at all interested in the modern Middle East or modern Middle East politics, I highly recommend you read this, because a huge tenant of this book is that it was 1967, not 1947, that caused huge parts of our current situation (and that, surprisingly, a huge issue that quote-on-quote “started it” was actually water, but that’s sort of the primary secondary issue, not the Actual Issue at play here). Anyway, I’ve talked about the fact that Israel hugely abuses its authority in the West Bank and Gaza and that there are going to be current members of the Israeli Government who face action at the ICC, so please don’t litigate this again with me. I also should add that the 2018 law which said it was only Jews who had the natural-born right to “self-determine” in Israel was passed by the Lekkud Government, and I really hate them anyway. I know they’re bad. It’s not the point I’m making. I’m making a broader point about the Constitution vis-a-vis what the Haredim are proposing, which is way worse].

To get back to the Haredim, basically there is this entire movement of actual settlers in territories that have been determined to belong to the Palestinian people as of, you know, the modern founding of Israel (and not the pre-Israel ‘colonial settler’ narrative you’ll see on instagram in direct conflict with the history of centuries of aliyah) who want to secede and form a separate Jewish state. They aren’t like, the only settlers, but I point this out because they are basically ‘anti-Zionist’ in the sense that they think that modern Zionism isn’t adhering to the laws of Judaism — that the state of Israel is too free, too radical, too open. And scarily enough, these are the sort of the people from whom Netanyahu draws a huge part of his political support. Which is true of the right wing in general. Netanyahu can’t actually govern without a coalition government. Like I have said, the Knesset is huge, often with 11-13 political parties at once, and so to ‘govern’ Netanyahu often needs to recruit increasingly right wing, conservative, basically insane political parties to maintain his coalition. It’s why he has been so supportive of the settlements, particularly in the last five years (since he is, as I have also said, facing corruption charges, and he really can’t leave office). It would really suck for him if a huge chunk of his voters seceded, wouldn’t it?

Anyway, that is the only ‘second Jewish State’ I know about, and I don’t think that is necessarily much of a solution. I really don’t have the solutions to the Middle East crisis. I am just a girl with some history degrees and some time on her hands to devote to tumblr, and I want people to learn more so they can form their own opinions. With that said, I think there are two more things worth saying and then I will close out for the night.

First, Judaism is an ethno-religion. Our ethnicities have become mixed with the places that we have inhabited over the years in diaspora, which is how you have gotten Sephardi, Mizrahi, Ashkenazi, and even Ethiopian Jews. But if you do actual DNA testing on almost all of the Jews in diaspora, the testing shows that we come from the same place: the Levant. No matter how pale or dark, Jews are still fundamentally one people, something we should never forget (and anyone who tries to put racial hierarchy into paleness of Jews: legit, screw you. One people). Anyway, unlike other religious communities, we have an indigenous homeland because we have an ethnic homeland. It’s small, and there are many Jews in diaspora who choose not to return to it, like myself. But that homeland is ours (just as much as it is rightfully Palestinians, because we are both indigenous to the region. For everyone who hasn’t read my other posts on the issue, I’m not explaining this again. Just see: one, two, and three, the post that prompted this ask). This is different from Christians, for example, who basically just conquered all of Europe and whose religion is not dependent on your race or background. You can be a lapsed Christian and you are still white, latinx, black, etc right? I am a lapsed Jew, religiously speaking, and will still never escape that I am ethnically Ashkenazi Jewish.

Second, I think you raise a really good point about other religious states. There are many other religious majority states in the world (all of these countries have an official state religion), and a lot of them are committing a lot of atrocities right now (don't even get me started on Saudi Arabia). I have seen other posts and other authors write about this better than I ever could, but I am going to do my best to articulate why, because of this, criticism of Israel as a state, versus criticism of the Israeli Government, is about ... 9 times out of 10 inherently antisemitic.

We should all be able to criticize governments. That is a healthy part of the democratic process and it is a healthy part of being part of the world community. But there are 140 dictatorships in the world, and the UN Human Rights Council has condemned Israel 45 times since 2013. Since the creation of the UN Human Rights Council, it has has received more resolutions concerning Israel than on the rest of the world combined. This is compared to like … 1 for Myanmar, 1 for South Sudan, and 1 for North Korea.

Israel is the world’s only Jewish majority state. You want to talk about “ethnic cleansing” and “repressive governments”? I can give you about five other governments and world situations right now, off the top of my head, that are very stark, very brutal, very (in some cases) simple examples of either or both. If a person is ‘using their platform’ to Israel-bash, but they are not currently speaking about the atrocities in Myanmar, Kashmir, Azerbaijan, South Sudan, or even, dare I say, the ethnonationalism of the Hindu Nationalist Party in India, then, at the very least, their activism is a little bit performative. They are chasing the most recent ‘hot button’ issue they saw in an instagraphic, and they probably want to be woke and maybe want to do the right thing. And no one come at me and say it is because you don’t “know anything about Myanmar.” Most people know next to nothing about the Middle East crisis as well. At best, people are inconsistent, they may be a hypocrite, and, whether they want to admit it to themselves or not, they are either unintentionally or intentionally buying into antisemitic narratives. They might even be an antisemite.

I like to think (hope, maybe) that most people don’t hate Jews. If anything, they just follow what they’ve been told, and they tend to digest what everyone is taking about. But there is a reason this is the global narrative that has gained traction, and I guarantee it has at least something to do with the star on the Israeli flag.

I know that was a very long answer to your question, but I hope that gave you some insight.

As a sidenote: I keep recommending books, so I am going to just put a master list of every book I have ever recommended at the bottom of anything I do now, because the list keeps growing. So, let’s go in author alphabetical order from now on.

One Country by Ali Abunimah Rise and Kill First: The Secret History of Israel's Targeted Assassinations by Ronen Bergman Kingdom of Olives and Ash: Writers Confront the Occupation, edited by Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman The Girl Who Stole My Holocaust: A Memoir by Noam Chayut If a Place Can Make You Cry: Dispatches from an Anxious State by Daniel Gordis Israel: A Concise History of a Nation Reborn by Daniel Gordis The Deadly Embrace by Ilana Kass And Bard O'Neill Like Dreamers: The Story of the Israeli Paratroopers Who Reunited Jerusalem and Divided a Nation by Yossi Klein Halevi Antisemitism by Deborah Lipstadt Six Days of War: June 1967 and the Making of the Modern Middle East by Michael Oren The Yom Kippur War: The Epic Encounter That Transformed the Middle East by Abraham Rabinovich One Palestine, Complete: Jews and Arabs Under the British Mandate by Tom Segev Hollow Land: Israel's Architecture of Occupation by Eyal Weizman

[thecagedsong]

Tldr; skip if you don’t care about my religious opinions, I respect you for that, but someone took my effort to share a part of my testimony, reblogged it, and tagged it in a way that feels both demeaning and attacks my beliefs. God and His Church have done too much for me to not defend Him, so I’m going to do that now.

Also updated a chapter of Forgotten Light. Read it here, if that’s what you follow me for.

I’ve posted Christian memes, religious quotes, and general uplifting commentary on my blog for a while now. I didn’t want to hide my belief in Jesus Christ and the beauty and complexity of his plan, but after a tumblr user I really admired posted a “here’s how to escape the evil cult that is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”, I decided to keep my specific religion private and only share things that were common ground between most Christians. I didn’t want something precious to me, my faith and testimony, to be mocked and discarded because people didn’t take the time to actually understand me and my beliefs. Been there, done that, hurts. Tumblr is my fandom space.

Then I saw a moment to share a beautiful memory of mine. A story about the resurrection that involved easter eggs, and the perfect post to add it to, so I hesitantly shared it.

Some responded by welcoming my story. Another user meant well, maybe, but her tags were only:

“#as an ex cult member: if you need to talk to me about leaving i can help#a lot of mormons feel they can't leave. i was in a cult that overlapped a LOT#(storyteller is mormon now)#religion cw”

(I use desktop, so copy and paste is easier than screenshot)

And I don’t know the user’s experience, but congrats, the only thing worse than my fear of my testimony being discarded or mocked is my testimony being used in a post that demonizes my religion by calling it a cult and offers help when I have given no indication of being unhappy with my faith. I feel as though I am being treated as someone brainwashed and too scared to leave a big scary organization and not an independent lawyer who shared her beliefs in Jesus Christ because, surprise, I actually believe in the teachings of my church that I am sharing publicly.

That might be a “me” problem that I need to work on. People who are trying to leave a bad place but feel like they can’t do need help and aren’t weak when they reach out for it. But that’s the point. The tone of the post was that my beliefs were precious to me, and, whatever hell this person has gone through, it is not appropriate to use my post to demonize my beliefs because you believe differently. Wait to be asked for help.

Now that the worst has happened, I could either do nothing, let them call my faith evil and not interact, or I could own up and testify to what I believe. Learning from Peter’s mistake when he denied Christ, I choose to share my testimony.

Let me assure anyone who is concerned about my religious affiliation actually being a cult that I am trapped in, my religion is not a cult and I am actively clinging to my faith as hard as I can in order to feel God’s love and support.

I believe in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I believe that in the Garden of Gethsemane he atoned for my sins specifically, as well as the sins of everyone who has ever lived or will ever live on this earth (including actual cult leaders). I believe that it is only through accepting the atonement of Jesus Christ and repenting of our sins that we can be saved and eventually return to live with Heavenly Father. That Heaven isn’t about being a beautiful place, it’s about being with good people.

I believe that all of God’s Children will have the opportunity to hear the gospel, understand it, and make the choice if they want to repent of their sins. It is easier to do while we are alive, and certain covenants, such as baptism and confirmation, can only be made on earth. But these opportunities are extended to the deceased. People can hear the truth after they have died, their descendants can make the covenants for them while they are living on this earth, and they can choose to rejoice in heaven with God and Jesus Christ. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church I have come across that holds that belief and that power to bind things on earth so that they are bound in heaven, and I love it.

I believe that God hears my prayers when I make them daily, and only through the power of Jesus Christ. No other intermediary is necessary, Jesus Christ’s atonement bridges the gap between God and God’s children infinitely and eternally. I have experienced miracles through prayer.

I believe in the bible. I have studied and found God in the Old Testament and learned how to follow Jesus Christ’s example from the New Testament. I believe the Book of Mormon, a record of the descendants of Joseph/Epharim of the twelve tribes, is the book prophesied of in Ezekiel 37: 16-17.

The Catholic Church claims priesthood authority as derived from Peter. I believe that Joseph Smith received the Priesthood authority in its fullness from Peter as an angel visiting him. I believe that when all the apostles died, the truth of the gospel was taken from the earth, and was only restored completely when Joseph Smith was chosen as a prophet of God to restore it. That with the assistance of the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, the doctrines found in the bible were clarified in preparation for the second coming of Jesus Christ.

I believe that Brigham Young was chosen as the next prophet to follow in Joseph Smith’s footsteps, leading the Church of Jesus Christ through a different period of history, and every prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has likewise been chosen by God., up until Russel M. Nelson today. I believe that God speaks through his prophets today to give instructions and warnings and prepare His Church and His people for the second coming of Christ. I believe he does not do anything on this earth that he does not first reveal it unto his prophets.

I testify that I have never been asked by my church to do something that I have not also found evidence of being practiced throughout the scriptures. Yes, I have gone through the temple. No, I will not answer any questions about what sacred covenants I performed there. (This privacy regarding sacred things is demonstrated, for example, by the High Priests who went into the holy of holies, and had things revealed to them that they couldn’t speak to others without God’s permission).

My religion is not a cult, unless you define a cult as a religion that people believe in to the point of making them behave differently than the rest of the world. Webster defines a cult as an unorthodox religion. I will accept that, because God has always moved in peculiar and mysterious ways according to His plan, not anyone else’s. If you mean cult to be a group of people brainwashed by a charismatic leader beyond reason, then I reject that completely.

My beliefs have stood the test of time and life. The more I lean on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the better I am able to handle life. The teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ have withstood every logical test I push against it, and I have put plenty. I’m a lawyer, it’s literally my job to find weaknesses in arguments. And I have found no imperfection (though there are several) that overcomes the truths of this church. I believe that all conflicts and misunderstandings will become clear and be revealed as I, and the Church, draw closer to God and Jesus Christ and are prepared to understand them.

Unfollow me if you want. I hope this isn’t a breaking point for anyone, that you can respect me and my beliefs. I will answer questions about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gladly, unless the topic is too sacred and I have been instructed by God’s prophets not to reveal them (your curiosity isn’t worth my soul for breaking a covenant I have made with God. See Exodus 34-35.).

And I hope the next time you see someone nervous about sharing their beliefs, your instinct is to look for context clues about whether or not they are actually suffering or unhappy before offering to save them from their faith.

[thelivebookproject]

Talking Books With @bluebellraven!

[What is this and how can I participate?]

Important note: I haven’t changed or edited any of the answers. I’ve only formatted the book titles so they were clearer, but nothing else. Because I’m incapable of shutting up, my comments are between brackets and in italics, so you can distinguish them clearly.

-------------------------------------------------------

[Image description: a square titled “Know the blogger”. Handle & pronouns: bluebellraven, she/her; country: Russia (currently living in the UK); three adjectives to describe her: curious, meticulous & funny /end]

1. What's a book you'd recommend to anyone visiting your country?

Russia is well-known for its classic literature, but in fact my very favourite Russian book - and the one I would recommend unfailingly - is a bit more modern than Tolstoy and co. It is Mikgail Bulgakov's Master and Margarita - such a deep exploration of my country's recent past, mixed with religious matters, but at the same time funny, quirky and irreverent. Although I would add that it has flavorful prose that isn't easily translated, so for anyone speaking the language absolutely worth reading in original, and probably requires some understanding of the Soviet history to not get confused by the narrative... I'll add another book (or rather trilogy) here that I love to the Moon and back for its interpretation of Russian culture, and that was written with a modern western reader in mind - Winternight Trilogy by Katherine Arden. This is a phantasmagorical retelling of historical events; all the kudos to the author for capturing the feel of our fairytales so perfectly.

[I’ve seen the Winternight Trilogy recommended enough times that I know at some point I’ll read it. I just can’t escape it. It’s my fate.]

2. Last book you've read that had such a beautiful prose it should be engraved somewhere?

I loved the language in Emily St John Mandel's Station Eleven. It just grabs you by the collar and drags you all the way through the book. Although being an account of a destructive pandemic, it might be a bit too relevant to read right now...

3. Do you do read-alongs?

I'm afraid not! Since I'm in academia, my workload can be sporadic, which makes planning for free time difficult; plus I tend to enjoy doing stuff at my own pace.

4. How do you decide which books go on your TBR? Are there any deciding factors?

I don't really have a streamlined process here. Often I see a recommendation online, or a plot outline that resonates with me, and check the book out on book-reviewing platforms (I don't really look at the rating, but rather at the downsides that people list most frequently and whether they are deal-breakers for me). One of the good sources of book recs for me is BookRiot - I love their bookish newsletters; some recs come from Tumblr or my friends, or drift in unexpectedly from the wider universe, triggered by non-book-related stuff.

5. Which is the fictional universe you'd NEVER want to live in?

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I have never wanted to live in any fictional universe! As messed-up as it is, the real world is what we have, and although stories are absolutely fundamental to who we are as humans, I've always seen them as a sort of part of this reality. If I look at fictional universes in real-life detail, they tend to lose their appeal! Maybe one universe that does tempt me is the His Dark Materials worlds of Philip Pullman - how cool would it be to never be lonely?.. Pretty much all other fictional places are a Nope for me!

Free space!

I don't have much to say in the free space that readers don't already know... Fiction is such a unique thing, and I'm happy it exists in the world. Maybe just this: if you love to read but haven't tried writing your own stuff - give it a go! Making stories can be even more rewarding than reading them.

I feel very lucky to have a community of readers that is booklr - (see) (hear) read (?) you guys soon, and happy reading!

You can follow her at @bluebellraven.

--------------------------------------------

Thank you so much! This was lovely.

Nex interview: Saturday, 10th of April

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

Hey just wanna double check since tumblr eats my asks: did you get my ask about whether Irish culture is an open culture and if ppl who arent Irish can work with like Mór-Ríoghain? I would assume so because many European cultures are open but I can't remember. If it is closed, what does that mean for Irish culture?

I didn’t get another ask like this love, sorry! Things always get lost in my inbox so I’m sorry I didn’t see it.

(Also if anyone else is worried that I haven’t gotten their ask, don’t ever be afraid to just send it again. I honestly don’t mind because I’d rather get two of the same asks than to have someone think I was ignoring them)

As for the question on Irish culture being a closed practice, I’m assuming you’re asking in relation to paganism? In which case I might not be the best person to ask. I’m interested in Irish mythology because I want to try and learn more about my culture and it’s history, so while I might learn about the figures in Irish mythology and folklore I’m not doing this out of religious reasons, I’m just curious. However as far as I am aware, Irish mythology isn’t a closed practice and anyone is welcome to work with the figures within Irish mythology. Mór-Ríoghain and Brigid both seem to be quite popular figures with pagans who aren’t necessarily Irish so I’m assuming it’s not a closed practice. Plus, I’m personally always happy to see non-Irish people learn about, share and celebrate Irish culture and history! While I completely understand why some practices are closed off for various reasons and I totally respect this, I don’t think that irish culture specifically being closed off would do it any favours. We’re a small country that almost had our culture destroyed, so I think sharing and spreading our culture is the best thing that we can do. Again, I’m only talking about Irish culture. I’m not speaking for anyone else because it’s not my place to, and I understand why other practices are closed off.

(Also I’m not using “mythology” to be disrespectful, but Irish pantheon just doesn’t sound right for some reason)

The only things that I will say are these. One, please learn how to correctly pronounce words from gaelige if you’re going to start following figures from the Irish culture. I know that a lot of witches (even those who don’t specifically follow Irish figures) talk about Beltane and Samhain but they’re using the bastardised anglicised versions of the words, which I guess is understandable (annoying but understandable) but they also butcher the pronunciations which is just...really irritating. However I honestly don’t think you specifically will have that problem since you’re actually using the more traditional name for the Morrigan, which is always nice to see!

And two, please don’t be an asshole to actual Irish people trying to learn about their culture. A few weeks ago, I was talking to a witch who had come over from America to Belfast for a semester of uni, but when I expressed my interest in Irish folk tales she tried to argue with me that it was disrespectful for non-pagans to learn about these figures and that Christians should “stay in their lane” (context I was raised Catholic). And that’s just...so rude? Yes I’m not a pagan but I’m very interested in the history of my country and it’s incredibly disrespectful for an American to say what I can and can’t learn about. I’m sure this girl wasn’t representative of paganism or of witches as a whole, but it’s pretty frustrating for actual Irish people to be told they can’t learn about their own culture. I think it’s brilliant that so many people belong Ireland are so interested in our culture and are mythology and I’m always so happy to see people learn about it (especially considering that other countries tried to oppress and destroy our culture to the point where we’re missing massive chunks of it) but to tell Irish people they can’t learn about certain figures unless their pagan really irked me. Also don’t try and compare being a pagan to the oppression that Irish people went through in the troubles. They’re just not comparable.

(Sidenote: I was previously under the misinformed impression that Irish mythology, Scottish mythology, Norse mythology etc were all separate and to mix and match them was disrespectful. However, thanks to many kind witches who took the time to explain more about the interconnectedness of everything, I realised that isn’t how it works and they aren’t separate in the way that I thought. I’m saying this to acknowledge that I’ve previously been wrong when it comes to paganism and that I don’t know everything. I just think it’s important that I admit that I was ignorant, but also that my views have changed as I’ve aquired more information. Basically, I’m only knowledgeable when it comes to Irish culture and not paganism as a whole and I still have a lot to learn. Any Irish pagans are welcome to add to this post!)

[purplesurveys]

1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?  I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games?  Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family?  No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall?  Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you?  My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!)  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb?  Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm?  My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive?  Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?  No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you?  I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female?  Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you?  My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate?  Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook?  No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in?  I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game?  Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater?  I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best?  Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have?  Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu?  Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months?  Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life?  Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience.  Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?  Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex.  Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it?  It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you?  I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see?  Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping?  I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious?  Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank?  No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate?  Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship?  Nope.

What was the last song you listened to?  It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision?  Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests?  I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone?  I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think?  To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy?  Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained?  Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours?  Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?  I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at?  Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you?  Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House?  Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry?  Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture?  No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on?  Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo?  Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes?  My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it?  “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want.  Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller?  Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people?  It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in?  That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during?  Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during?  Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant?  Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like?  Anything with fruits.

Favorite album?  After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it?  I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space?  Outer space.

Dogs or cats?  Dogs.

Kittens or puppies?  Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching?  Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal?  I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school?  History.

What was your worst subject in school?  Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school?  Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon?  Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls?  Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom?  For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist?  I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?  Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?  I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad?  It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out?  Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?  Nope.

Who are you closest to?  Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience?  No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything?  Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today?  Nah.

Can you handle blood?  Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job?  No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?  I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job?  No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick?  No?

[leahxx129]

Heaven’s on Fire (Castiel x Reader)

This is my submission to the talented @lettersofwrittencollective​ ‘s 1K Celebration challenge. Congrats once more! :))

I had this idea in the back of my mind for quite a while now and her challenge came as a heavenly sign to write & publish it, so here we go. My prompt can be found in bold in the text. I hope you all enjoy it! :) Oh, and if you want to listen to the song mentioned in the fic, you can do that here.

Disclaimer: Tumblr is being weird again so if you’re using the app, the ‘Keep Reading’ cut off line may not be visible inspite of the fact that I always insert one.

Summary: You’ve successfully managed to get off the grid but thanks to your best friend, the one person you wish to see the least finds you and reveals a surprising truth. Will it be enough to bury the hatchet though? 

Warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex

Word count: 2.790-ish

You are tapping your fingertips against your glass as you watch the ice cubes slowly melt and dissolve in the bourbon. Is this your second? Or third? You have no idea. And frankly, you don’t even give a damn.

This Friday night is just like any other in the past year – you find a bar, have a few drinks… sometimes you leave alone, sometimes you don’t. It depends on your mood and on how attractive the person trying to get in your pants is. Truth be told though; you haven’t been so picky lately as you’ve realized that when you close your eyes, they all look just like him.

You’ve been here for about an hour now and only two candidates have summoned the courage to approach you but sadly, none of them measure up to your lowered standards. You roll your eyes in annoyance and down what’s left of your drink. Just as you’re about to get up and leave, another bourbon is placed on the small round table in front of you. Your look of disapproval soon turns into bewilderment as your eyes travel to the face of your server.

“Feathers?” you blurt out and despite your best efforts, the pet name sounds more like a question than a statement.

A faint smile is playing in the corner of his mouth.

“It’s been a while since I heard that one.”

Castiel sits down across you and takes a sip from the booze he got for himself. Hundreds of questions are racing through your mind and you’re having a hard time deciding which one to ask first.

“Which one of those asshats sold me out?” you eventually settle on one. Around the apocalypse situation back in 2010, the angel branded your ribs with the spell that keeps people off the celestial radar, too, so he couldn’t have found you all by himself.

“Assuming you are referring to the Winchesters, it was Sam.”

“Should’ve thought so…” you say dryly. “When I texted him my location, I thought I made it clear that I’m only available in case of emergencies. “

“I sort of tricked him into believing this was an emergency.” he admits, and you can’t believe what you’re hearing.

“What do you want, Cas?”

“I wanted to see you, Y/N.” your name rolls off his tongue the softest way possible. “When I was sent back to Earth from the Empty, I was perplexed not to find you in the bunker.”

“Yeah, well, I needed some space and a breath of fresh air.”

“A thousand miles away from there? From me?” he adds the last part reluctantly.

“You do not have the right to guilt-trip me, okay? If anything, I should be doing that to you…”

He draws his eyebrows together in confusion.

“I do not understand.”

Of course he doesn’t... You try to blink them away but a couple of hot teardrops stream down your face, nevertheless. He instinctively grabs your hand you’ve been resting on the table and squeezes it.

“Please look at me.”

Every fiber in your body is protesting because once you look into those ocean eyes, he wins… but you comply anyway.

“Explain?” he murmurs.

You hear the appeal leave his lips but all you can concentrate on is the way his fingers are pressing yours. It conjures the memory of the very first time you held hands...

You finished applying lipstick and checked your complete makeup in the review mirror. A sophisticated trophy wife was staring back at you, which meant that you accomplished your goal. You silently thanked the Lord Sam and Dean weren’t with you because you would never hear the end of their mockery.

“Okay, I’m done. Tell me, Feathers, how do I look?” you turned to Castiel who’d been riding shotgun before you parked your dark blue 1970 Ford Fairlane in the church’s parking lot.

“Uhm, you look lovely, Y/N, although you do not quite resemble your everyday self.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“For the sake of this mission I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“It was meant to be one.”

You shrugged then proceeded to give him a once-over.

“Well, you look dashing as always, but I suggest losing the trench coat. It doesn’t suit the occasion and we certainly don’t want to raise Father Milton’s suspicion. If he senses something is off, he’ll never lead us to his angel-hearing daughter.”

He appeared torn for a minute.

“But my angel blade is in my trench coat. If I leave it in your car and things take a turn for the worse, what will I use for protection?”

You pulled your chiffon skirt up, revealing a .45 Hardballer attached to your thigh. His eyes followed your abrupt movement but as soon as he realized where his gaze landed, he looked away. If you weren’t imagining, he even blushed a little.

“As long as we’re dealing with humans, this shall do.” you pulled the skirt back down. “Now c’mon. We need to find this Anna girl before the demons do.”

You both got out of the car and walked to the church’s entrance but before you went in, you adjusted his tie.

“Okay, Castiel, remember… we are Mr. and Mrs. Novak, expecting our first child, and we are here to see the girl who hears the angels so she could bless our baby.”

“I still believe this is a ridiculous cover story.” he commented.

“They’re religious people, they’re gonna buy it, trust me.”

With that, you took his right hand and laced your fingers with his. He almost yanked his arm away - you could tell from the little twitch you felt – but stopped himself from doing so.

“What are you doing, Y/N?”

“We have to make our cover realistic and this is one way to do that. Relax a bit, would you? You’re stiffer than a stick…”

“What you’re saying is not humanly possible for my vessel, but I suppose I perceive the insinuation.”

You rolled your eyes at his awkwardness and pushed the church door wide open.

The memory makes you smile and when you look up to his face, you see him replicating your expression. He must’ve been reminiscing about the same thing.

You pull your hand from his grip and first you swallow your glass of bourbon, then his, too, not minding the puzzled look he gives you. You need all the liquid courage you can get.

“You want an explanation? Here you go!” you reply, feeling the warmth of alcohol spreading through your body. “I simply cannot be in your immediate proximity anymore, Cas, I just can’t! I have no idea when these feelings for you developed exactly, but they did. And every single time you sacrificed yourself for the greater good over the years, I died a little inside… which is crazy, because you’ve never seemed to be interested in me like that… So, when Lucifer killed you for the second time, that was the last straw. I couldn’t keep breaking my own heart for somebody who just sees me as a really close friend with occasional benefits. I had to get away in order to piece myself back together.”

He sighs your name passionately and the next second he leans over the table, gently captures your chin between his thumb and index finger and locks his lips with yours.

You’re not sure what amazes you more – the fact that he’s kissing you or the scene that starts outlining in your mind.

You remember the place that comes to life in your head. It’s the higher scale pub where you had your farewell drinks at with the Winchesters, Bobby and Cas the night before Sam let Lucifer wear him to the prom. Not counting the five of you and the bartender, the joint was empty - courtesy of the angel’s heavenly persuasion technique applied on the bouncer so he wouldn’t let anyone else in. 

But something isn’t quite right…this is not your memory. 

It’s Castiel’s, you realize.

Cas, Bobby and Dean were sitting around a table, the latter raising a hand to order another round of the most expensive scotch the place served. The world was ending, saving a few dollars on cheap drinks seemed utterly pointless. You and Sam were attempting to dance to an overrated pop song a few tables over, laughing whole-heartedly throughout the process. With a little liquor in his veins the man was a real talent on the dancefloor – or at least that’s what he thought.

“You do realize, Dean, that a few glasses of alcohol will not numb me to the point where I would forget what is ahead of us, right?” Cas inquired but before Dean had the opportunity to come up with a comeback, Bobby jumped in.

“They might not numb you but they’re sure as hell working for me!” he said as he took a sip from his newly arrived quality booze.

“All I’m missing is a hot babe on my laps...” Dean added “What do you guys say, shall we get ourselves some fun female company?”

“I do not know about Bobby, but it is a pass from my side.” Cas replied indifferently then averted the topic, asking what he’d been dying to know all night. “Why are Y/N and Sam dancing so close to each other? Their bodies are touching. Is there… is there something romantic between them?”

Dean and Bobby exchanged a curious glance.

“Cas… are you… jealous?” Dean chose his words carefully and asked in a tone only the three of them could hear.

“I don’t know, honestly. Emotions are a novelty to me.”

“Okay…how do you feel when you see them dancing that close?” Bobby tried approaching the topic differently and succeeded.

“I do not like it. I feel like it is wrong. I would like to be the one that close to her. But apparently, she is completely content with Sam’s proximity.”

“There’s nothing romantic between them, Cas.” Dean declared. “They used to date when they were high schoolers, but that’s it. They’re not an item anymore. So, go get your shot with her while you still can.” there was a short silence, but he continued “Man, my little brother must know something… I mean, staying friends after a breakup? I’m a ladies’ man and not even I can do that!”

“Enough of the bragging, idjit! Order another round instead, would ya? I’m still thirsty…” Bobby scoffed and downed the remainder of his drink.

The rest of the night went by fast. In the end, Bobby and Dean had to drag a very drunken Sam out of the bar as his own legs failed to support him. You returned from the restroom to find Castiel all alone.

“Hey, Feathers… were you waiting for me?” you asked with the sweetest smile he had ever seen and suddenly his heart began beating faster.

“Yes. As a matter of fact, I was. I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Go on…”

Instead of phrasing his thoughts, he just cupped your face and kissed you. After a short while you were the one to break the interaction and he instantly felt embarrassed, so he uttered the very first thing that came to his mind.

“Thank you, Y/N, for being such a great friend. I deeply appreciate it.”

“Uhm, you’re welcome, I guess…Is there anything else you wanted to share or…?”

“No, we can leave. The others are waiting outside.”

“Okay.”

He knew he screwed up. He had his chance and he totally blew it. But the worst part was that he had no idea how to make it right.

The flashback ends as Cas leans away and your eyes flutter open.

“You… you had a crush on me?”

“Ever since I met you, Y/N.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was convinced that a fierce, beautiful woman such as yourself could never accept a frail underdog such as myself to be by her side.”

His confession startles you immensely and you need a few seconds to collect your thoughts.

“You’re an idiot, Feathers.”  

“So I’ve been told.”

You both chuckle and this time it’s your turn to kiss him.

“There’s so much we need to catch up on…” you whisper against his lips, but he frowns, making you regret your words immediately.

“Uhm, we can’t just yet… first, there’s something I need to take care of.”

“What’s that?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

Funny how a four-letter word can hurt even more than any physical injury you have ever obtained during your career as a hunter.

“I see.”

“Y/N…“

“Don’t. Just leave, please.”

A flutter of wings indicates he complies with your wish. You call a taxi to take you to the motel you’re staying at as you’ve had enough to drink and don’t want to risk crashing the Fairlane. You are not in the mood for small talk, and sensing this, your driver turns up the volume on the radio. Heaven’s on Fire by KISS blasts through the speakers and it evokes the memory you associate with it.

Sometimes you just needed to take a break from hunting for the sake of your sanity and the estate in the Nebraskan countryside your grandma had willed you a couple of years prior proved to be an excellent safe haven. So consequently, when the Winchester found a very much so human Castiel, it wasn’t even a question where to hide him from the community of pissed off fallen angels.

On a particularly humid afternoon, you finished working on your car and took a quick shower to get rid of all the dirt and oil sticking to your skin. Having only a towel on, you proceeded to the kitchen with the intention of pouring yourself a glass of wine. Cas insisted on doing the grocery shopping, so you were all alone. Suddenly, Heaven’s on Fire by KISS started playing on the radio.

“God, I love this song!” you exclaimed and took a sip from your glass.

“I must say your taste in music is quite similar to Dean’s.” a voice spoke up behind you, making you jump.

You turned to see the ex-angel standing in the door with huge bags in his arms. He was back early.

“Jesus, Feathers, don’t sneak up on me like that! I almost threw my drink in your face and this shit is expensive! Every ounce of it should be treasured not wasted.” you scolded him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you it’s just… I just…” he was visibly struggling to express himself, but his gaze told you more than his words ever could as he slowly dragged it all over your body, examining every curve along the way.

“You’ve never seen a woman in a towel, have you?” you asked, not being able to suppress a smile.

“Only once in a movie about a pizza man.” he admitted shyly.

“A pizza man?” you furrowed your brows but soon enough you remembered the story about this. ”Oooh, I get it. In that case... put the groceries on the counter.”

He appeared a bit confused but did as instructed anyways. When he turned back to your direction, you undid the knot on your towel and let it pool around your legs.

“Now, I want you to show me what you learnt from that pizza man.”

“Are you okay, lady?” the driver asks, turning the volume down a bit and you realize you’ve been crying.

“Uhm, yes… I���m fine. Thank you for asking.” you reply while wiping your eyes.

You roll down the window and let the cool air dry your wet cheeks. This is the last time you allow yourself to be devoured by sorrow because of Castiel. Tomorrow you’ll retrieve the Fairlane and get gone, not leaving a trace you can be found upon.

Cas on the other hand goes back to Lebanon, Kansas, and roams the streets for hours. Eventually he stops in front of two liquor stores adjacent to each other. He wants to make up for all those years you two lost, he really does… but getting together with you would mean the world’s greatest happiness to him and that’s when the Shadow from the Empty would come and drag him back to the land of eternal slumber. He needs to find a way to defeat the Shadow first and then he’ll look for you. But until then there is one choice to make – which one of these liquor stores should he drink to numb the ache in his chest? Maybe both.

[eldritchsurveys]

929.

Do you ever actually enjoy going to "common" places like the supermarket, the post office, etc? If so, which of these "common" places do you typically enjoy visiting? >> I don’t think so. Most of these kinds of trips are predictable and tedious. I enjoy them more when I’m in an okay mood, but otherwise it’s just... work.

Have you ever made your own bumper sticker? If so, what did it say/portray? If you haven't made your own bumper sticker, what would you want it to say/portray if you did? >> I’ve never made a bumper sticker and I don’t want to make one.

How often do you "sort through" your Xanga subscriptions? Are you more of a person who often unsubscribes from people because you follow too many blogs or are you more of a person who does not often unsubscribe from people because you only follow certain blogs, usually only the ones that you really like? >> I don’t follow survey blogs on tumblr, typically, although I had to follow one recently because tumblr had stopped showing his posts in the tags (for me, anyway). Most everyone else I can find in the tags, so it’s fine.

Now often do you notice sexual references in songs that aren't necessarily direct, such as the emphasis that is put on "everybody knows I'm hung..." in Hot Chelle Ray's "Hung Up"? >> To be honest, it seems like most sexual references in songs nowadays are pretty goddamn overt. Like, WAP just came out...

If you do not smoke marijuana, how do you feel about the legalization of it? Maybe you are so sick of hearing about this that you do not even think about it enough to have an opinion? To guard against leaving anyone out, if you do smoke marijuana, how often do you smoke? >> The reason I don’t smoke it is because it causes adverse effects for me. I support its decriminalisation and I wish its legalisation didn’t immediately result in a fucking monopoly in this country but, you know, capitalism. Still, can you imagine telling someone from like 1980 that “Big Marijuana” was going to be a problem in 2020? It’d be like 12 Monkeys, immediate loony bin for you.

Do you currently live in one of the states that has legalized same-sex marriage? If so, which state are you in? Keep in mind, Delaware has recently joined this group! >> Well, it’s federally legal now.

In terms of the biggest news stories right now, how aware would you say that you are of what is going on in the world? You can judge this by your knowledge of the "Tebow Bill", the case of the Texas cheerleaders that were criticized for their religious banners, the guilty verdict that was handed to Jodi Arias on terms of the 1st degree murder of Travis Alexander, and the rescue of the missing girls in Cleveland who were held captive for a decade. >> (This survey is... uh, a few years old. In case you haven’t already noticed.) I’m relatively aware of the biggest news stories in the United States right now because they’re kind of everywhere (and also because I get daily emails from The Flip Side). Even people in other countries can’t avoid knowing about what’s going on in the US, unfortunately. Also, I should add that one of the biggest continuously-updating news points right now is a global pandemic, so, you know. Kind of hard not to know about that.

Obviously hypothetically speaking, your child is charged with a crime and could receive the death penalty punishment. Your child asks you not to testify for life in prison instead because he/she would rather die fairly soon rather than to live the rest of his/her life in prison. As a parent, do you think that you could obey their wishes in good conscience and not attempt to spare your child's life? >> If I couldn’t, I’d be really fucking disappointed in myself. I’m going to allow for the variable that I might feel differently about a child if I actually had one (since parents are always talking about how us childless people “just don’t get it”), but I really can’t see my values changing that much, and one of my values is respecting other people’s right to die.

Be honest, when you ask questions like "how are you?" do you actually expect a true, possibly elaborate, response or do you expect the typical "fine" or "okay" answer in which you are mostly just asking to be polite? Perhaps it depends on the situation? >> If I ask, it’s because I actually want to know what’s going on in the person’s life -- like, they’re a friend or something and we haven’t talked for a while. I don’t ask this out of obligation or weird social rules or anything.

Do you wash your hair every single day when you shower? Do you really believe that skipping a wash every now and then is better for the hair? >> First of all, I don’t shower every single day either. Also, I’m not white, so my hair texture demands more time between washing if I don’t want it to be dry and brittle.

Would you rather have long, damaged hair or short, healthy hair? In other words, which is more important to you, the length or the health of your hair? >> Who the fuck wants damaged hair? *thinks about all the white people with “dreadlocks”* Wait, never mind, don’t answer that.

Who was the last person in your life to have "car problems" and what happened? >> I mean, the only person really in my life is Sparrow and the last car problem she had was when she had that flat and tried to drive to Meijer on it and the whole fuckin thing just disintegrated, lmao. That was an Adventure.

When you text someone until you are about to go to sleep, do you usually send that person a goodnight/goodbye text, just reply to their message when you wake up, or does it vary? >> Depends on the nature of the conversation. If it’s really casual I’ll just let it taper off. If it’s more focused or serious, then I’ll warn them that it’s almost my bedtime so if they have anything pressing to add, add it now. Otherwise we can just pick it back up again in the morning (or let it end, whatever). ...This is also all hypothetical, since who the fuck am I texting.

What do you want the most right now? >> Nothing.

Are/were your parents/guardians more strict or easy going? >> Very strict.

How many items are currently in the recycling bin on your computer? >> Oh god. Like ~1100 files, because of that goddamn OneDrive fiasco a couple of months ago. I forgot to empty it, but I just emptied it now, so thanks for reminding me.

When was the last time you ate spaghetti? >> I don’t remember.

Does it bother you when surveys you've copied and pasted into an entry are formatted? For instance, the previous survey taker may have used Tahoma font in the entry or aligned the survey to the center. >> This isn’t a problem on tumblr. Usually the problem is that new!dashboard just jacks up formatting so when I copy from dash and paste into the editor, the spacing is all wrong. I solve that problem by copying from the permalink instead... which is an extra step and kind of annoying, but whatcha gonna do.

Do you actually find comedians with a style like Will Ferrell and Steve Carell funny or are they more annoying and moronic to you? >> Steve Carell can be funny sometimes, I guess. I don’t like most Will Ferrell movies. It’s just not my sense of humour, I’m not going to fucking insult it just because it’s not my thing.

[gemsofgreece]

@motivationaltoast

replied to your post

“@motivationaltoast replied to your photo “View to Mount Olympus...”

hi yeah sorry its me again plus one nap like i suggested (im a sleepy person) and im really sorry about how agressive i came off- youre right about the level of disrespect the comic has regarding a still existing culture. i realise the way i phrased things threw my point WAY off the mark i was trying to hit so id like to apologise for that what i tried (and failed) to say was that the particular area of "discourse" (i use quotation marks because i feel like the word discourse has a different context on tumblr than i want to imply here but i cant think of a better word) surrounding LO (at least what had made its way to my dash) wasn't out of respect for any culture, especially one that is often regionally diverse (i mean when certain regions will have small distinct differences in practices or beliefs but are still part of a largerbelief and practice) but rather out of what seemed to be a refusal of accepting complexities within any living cultural beliefsorry for all the confusion once again- i do agree that LO has been very ignorant and disrespectful of a still existing culture and its complexities I just meant to say that i wished the contempt (for lack of a better term) against it came from there rather than a mindset more akin to "there is no room for difference of custom" because honestly with any culture there will always be some form of regional heterogenaity in religious figures and related customs

No I got what you were saying (maybe vaguely but I think I did lol) and I don’t think you were too aggressive or anything. It’s just that I am still not sure whether it’s any sort of heterogeneity they’re denying or they think the heterogeneity presented in these particular works exceeds the geographical or cultural borders of the greek world way too much to be considered appropriate anymore. But I am not following this issue closely so I can’t really tell. 

I personally have a very simple rule about which works I feel are okay and respectful about any culture:

good: add content without changing / affecting what is already established, making existing characters (within reason of course) more sympathetic in order to attract rather than alienate (my reasoning is that it is not anyone’s place to alienate an audience from a culture, whether somebody will like a culture or not is exclusively up to them, but it is not harmful to attract unless the culture is toxic and dangerous as a whole, which is almost never the case)

bad: making existing characters more unsympathetic than they are (wtf why), exceed geographical, chronological, social limitations without solid explanation to the point that it doesn’t feel part of this culture / region / era anymore, use it to push a modern social or political agenda (while the intention may be noble, changing something that was a legend or the reality 3000 years ago isn’t gonna help anyone today, on the contrary it might only distorte the knowledge of people for this culture and era - for social / political intentions an original work is always better and more impactful)

Like I said this is only my personal reasoning but I think many Greeks would generally agree and, who knows, maybe also people of other cultures who see them used in entertainment media way too frequently or  way too loosely. 

[jinniesmeow]

good evening. this is a very long rant. if you’ve been tagged in this, it means I have a message for you :’) it’s at the bottom of the post, and that’s the most important part, so dear mutuals, feel free to just go read that part and don’t feel forced to read all that bullcrap I've written. thank you if you do, thank you if you don’t. 

if we’re not mutuals and you’re reading this, well I guess thank you because this is hella long and cliché af. I'm sorry to everyone for this. though it kinda has nothing to do with what I'm saying, I was feeling particularly gay tonight and I'm in my feelings right now so yeah. if you’re willing to read, just click, you know how that works. 

first of all, hello. thank you if you’re reading this, whether we’re mutuals or not, this isn’t a private post so if you’re reading this, hello to you, I hope you’re having a wonderful night or day and I guess sorry for what you’re about to read if it’s considered TMI. I don’t know everyone on here so I'll start with the basics. I’m zia, aka users jinniesmeow, yunholy, hwangitzy and very recently yuzukhei. I'm (almost) 19, and in case you didn’t know, I'm French. and Italian, fortunately or not, idk. 100% European and white anyway, and my ancestors were all 100% racist and homophobic (I mean Poland and Italy? come on.). My sister, who’s turning 23 this year (she’s not on Tumblr), and myself are the first generation in my family to be queer on whichever side of it it is you’re looking at. 

Indeed, (if you didn’t know somehow, now you do) both her and I are pansexual. thankfully, our mom is far from being homophobic and racist and she’s a very open minded person, like really. neither of us have ever had a coming out, and none of us plan on doing it. I totally understand the necessity for some people to come out to their relatives and all that, but here’s why I personally refuse to do it: I don’t get why I have to tell people I'm not straight. I think it only fuels the fact that being straight is seen as the norm, because do straight people ever announce they are straight? exactly. being queer (gay, lesbian, pan, ace, whatever) is not abnormal, it’s not unnatural, so I refuse to have to scream it to everyone, and I don’t mean by that that I'm trying to hide my queerness, because I'm very open and honest about it, and I always have been. I hope one day, we won’t need to come out anymore and that people will stop assuming our sexuality. until then, I'll let people get flustered whenever I imply that I'm not straight without having ever stated it clearly before because fuck that shit. 

anygays. so, like I said, I've always been very open and honest about my romantic and sexual orientation. I know lots of bi/pan people “realise” they are queer when they’re a bit older, during their teenage years or early adulthood, but (un)fortunately I am not one of those. I have literally always known I liked girls too (in the first place, I mean). actually, I’ve always thought attraction and romance were about the person, like, I mean it was an evidence to me ever since I was a child, and how can I explain that I got slapped in the face when I discovered that it was not a universal thing, that it was not “the truth”. so there I was, in the middle of elementary school, openly saying I liked girls in front of everyone because I thought it was normal. I mean, it is, but you get what I mean. 

on top of that, the term “pansexual” has been occulted and invalidated for years, and most people didn’t even know of it until like maybe 3 years ago. remember, I'm 19, and there I was in middle school at 13 years old telling people I was pansexual when they’d barely even heard of bisexuality (while everyone else was like ‘I'm straight!! ew the gays’ btw). honestly, I cannot count how many times I've been called a pedophile, a necrophile and zoophile. by my very own friends, yes. 

same with high school, but I'm not going to repeat myself. just for the precision: no, I have never been physically or mentally bullied for that, however, I was mocked a lot because of how tall I am (I was 1m73/5′7 at 14) and because I can be quite androgynous since I don’t have big boobs. I have large hips though, so those fucking males didn’t miss the chance to pick on me for that too. obviously though if I've never been full on bullied it’s because: 1. I've always had friends and I've never been a ‘loner nerd’, 2. I was tall and intimidating, 3. I was respected for my intelligence and grades and wasn’t being full of myself about being a top student, and 4. because I was neither fat nor a person of colour, obviously, and those are privileges I'm very aware of. I have still been called a ‘woman with a dick’ and other transphobic shit and was often treated as if I were a boy, though. 

I still identify as a girl. I have been so, so complexed about so many things about my physical appearance for so long, I can’t count how many hours I have spent looking at my naked reflection in the mirror, feeling disgusted, wishing I had bigger boobs and that I would “look more like a girl” and so on. how much I have hated my body is something I can’t even measure. as of today, I've realised there is no such thing as “looking like a girl” and I've made a lot of progress on liking my overall appearance and accepting my body, sometimes I even think I'm hot™ and definitely think men don’t deserve me but for some fucking reason I can’t choose my sexuality (crazy right) and I still am attracted both romantically and sexually to them :/ 

anyways. now you know how long I've known that I'm a pansexual and throughout all these years, every time someone talked about the community or when pride came, no one mentioned us pansexuals, and I've seen us being invalidated so many times I really started doubting myself. I was like, “it’s like being bisexual, I'm just being butthurt and pushing it too far” but at the same time I never stopped calling myself pansexual. to some people, it’s just a preference in the choice of words to say you’re bi or pan, but to me there is a difference, even if it’s the smallest ever, and yes. being bi and being pan are “basically the same thing” and both orientations are very close but that very difference means everything to me. I am attracted to people, romantically and sexually, regardless of their gender. that is exactly it. and it’s very important to me.

I'm sorry if this is a mess, it’s hard to say things in the right order when I have so much to say, but I'm going to go back to what I was saying in the beginning about my family. I talked about my mom. my parents have been separated since I was 6 and haven’t spoken to each other in like 12 years btw. so, as for my dad, I know he wouldn’t care. he’s not homophobic, not racist. he does say homophobic and racist things sometimes, without realising it, like a lot of people do, and that doesn’t make him a homophobe. I know he doesn’t care if I'm gay, and I feel good just knowing that. however, remember, my family is italian. everyone around us is 100% straight (except for my cousins, I'm pretty sure one of them is bi-curious and the other is ace, but they aren’t open about this at all and have probably never questioned their sexuality lmao) and then there are my sister and I in the middle of it, and we’re like “yup, we’re the gay cousins”. the italian side of my family is huge. like really, my father has a total of 24 cousins (and I don’t mean the little ones and all that, I mean first degree cousins), so imagine how many of us there are in total when you’re counting everyone’s kids, spouses, grandkids and great-grandkids (you read that well, some of his cousins are old, some are even deceased). and they’re italian. and 100% into their religious set of mind that has them believe their god forbids being gay and that we’ll burn in hell. whatever, would’ve been going there anyway, gay or not so it’s not like I care, all the more reasons to be a fag. 

and yes I have proof they are racist and homophobic, I've heard the things they’ve said. so, I, whomst has had depression for basically all her life and also has every existing form of anxiety there is, don’t exactly feel comfortable around these people. and on top of being gay, I listen to “Ching Chong music”!!! how do I have to put into words that I know exactly what they think of me? I even have blue hair now so like, blending in even less than before. so yeah. 

to add on to that feeling of worthlessness, when I entered high school, I was still a top student without doing any type of work whatsoever, but then depression got the best of me (like for real this time how am I even still alive tbh) and I fell so hard I could barely stand going to school anymore. my last two years of high school (it lasts 3 years in France) have been disastrous. I barely attended and could barely manage keeping my grades above average, because I had zeros on 99% of my homework since I never did it. still had good enough grades on tests though, and it saved my ass. 

honestly, I don’t even want to talk about these years and how I was feeling, because it’s still too fresh for me and I'm stil trying (yes, trying) to heal from it. I can say without a doubt that they were some of the worst years of my life though. however final exams came and my ass managed to get a really good grade without revising anything, this way I could send a big, huge, fuck off to my teachers who had been shitting in my face for years and making me feel like the hugest shit on earth. I hope they choke on their jealousy. then I went to uni for about three months, where I majored in English, but eventually decided to stop because I couldn’t go a day without having a panic attack on the train, because I still couldn’t get my ass to do any work, because I was bored out of my mind and just when I had started feeling better after leaving high school I was sinking further down. I spent months staying home without seeing anyone but my mom and doing nothing but watching Netflix (the French catalogue isn’t as interesting as the American one btw). then, I finally found the guts to go see a therapist. not gonna say it was a mistake, but I'm glad I stopped because this bitch was just here to take my money. I took antidepressants for a few months, and I have stopped really recently, actually. in all honesty, I have gotten much better, thanks to my own doing, I've worked so hard on getting better and I'm proud of how far I've come. 

today, I can finally say for the first time ever in my life that I am proud of who I am. 

the whole point of saying all of this shit you have (maybe) read is not because I want people to give attention to me or anything like, I don’t want pity or anything and truly don’t think there are any reasons for people to feel any pity towards me. I'm saying this because I want to thank the people around me for just existing, for supporting me, for making me feel validated. because you might not realise it, but (a lot of) you are often talking about your problems, and it makes me realise that I'm not the only one feeling this kind of way. it makes me realise there are people who might understand me, even just a little. and when I see you talking about your sexual/romantic orientation (or lack of so) it also makes me feel accepted. I see you guys reblog such validating things, and then some of you even have pride flags in your layouts, and you have no idea how my heart feels about it. if you weren’t aware, I'm a twitter person. I've spent so much time on there, I have met lots of people, lots of which are part of the community and openly supporting it, and yet I have never felt more validated than since I've been on here. 

I've also met the people I consider “the most” as my internet best friends on here, like my best best internet friends, if that makes sense lmao, and not actually on twitter (although I might be pushing it because I have actually gone from IVL to IRL with most of them so like... whatever.) point is: I have met amazing friends I'm so thankful for on here. and all the people I see in my dash, to all of you, thanks for everything too even if we don’t really talk and if we haven’t had actual discussions before. now if you want to, you can always come to me to talk about whatever the fuck you want. 

so, here, I want to thank all of you, because today I'm finally starting to think maybe, just maybe, that I want to keep on living and that good things might happen to me. I have no plans for the future, since I never imagined myself getting this far in life, but I'm still willing to give it a try. 

please, if after you’re reading this, you’re thinking about telling me cliché things about staying strong and all that, I'm going to ask you not to do it. it just feels like pity to me. or choose your words wisely, I'm begging you, because I can’t stand thinking anyone would pity me. please don’t feel like that, that’s not the point of this.

I'm doing this as a thank you, and as a message to everyone out there who’s read this. I hope my words mean something to you. maybe help you? it’s ok to be confused about who you are. it’s ok not to like yourself, it takes so much work to get better and all that, but just know that you can do it, it is possible to do it. it takes time, it will hurt, but it’s an option. it’s not impossible. 

now. I have some people I want to send a quick message to. I guess some of you will be surprised, but just read what I have to say please, and know that from the bottom of my heart, I mean it.

@hwangwhatjin Emily. I don’t even know where to start, and soon I won’t even be able to see what I'm typing anymore because the tears I've been fighting while writing all this crap have started flowing all of a sudden the second I typed your name. you’re the first friend I made on here. we started off nothing, and I was a no one, and yet you still talked to me and all that. you’re honestly one of the most tolerant and kind people I have ever met in my life. you’re the exact opposite of prejudiced, you’re so open minded, so not giving a shit about other people’s quirks (I mean it in the right way) that don’t concern you directly, like people are who they are and you don’t give a damn about it, it’s amazing. I know this doesn’t sound like a compliment, but I can’t find the right way to put this. you’ve also always been there to listen to me whenever I wanted you to, and you have never judged me once. you have no idea how thankful I am for having you in my life. I wouldn’t want to have anyone else hold the title of bro. I love you so, so much, and I'm sorry we haven’t been talking lately. I hope I can help you just like you’ve helped me and support you as much as you need me to in the future, and I want you to know I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you down. you have no idea how much I can’t wait to meet you so I can wrap you in a blanket and give you hot chocolate while I light up a gingerbread scented candle (yes, I remember) and put on some blink-182 and stroke your hair because it’s what you deserve. you’re one of my best friends, like ever, and it’s such a pain we’re so far from each other, fuck this damn channel. one day I'll just swim to you to hear your wonderful accent you say you hate so much. anything to see you. I'm sorry I'm so old, I wish it were less of a problem, but as you grow up this gap will be less and less of an obstacle, so let’s just be patient, yeah? I love you, bro. roach bros to the end of the line.

@pikachulein Laura. ok. where do I start and how do I stop my eyes from sweating so much. you know, I'm just gonna say it. in my opinion, soulmates aren’t the people we’re especially meant to be with in a romantic way, and we might even have several of them. I just think they’re people who just bring you so much, and people who are like another version of you, but different. kind of like I described in my Felix au, actually. when I call you my soulmate, I really mean it, because I'd never thought I'd meet someone who understands me so well because they relate so much, someone who basically shares the same mind because hell, when have we ever had different thoughts on something like... it will never cease to amaze me. it’s only been a few months since we’ve known each other, but I actually think you’re one of my closest friends. hell, on the day we meet, because I'm not taking no for an answer, I don’t even know how I'll be holding up like, I won’t know how to act. so in advance, I'm sorry if I'm so weird at first. you’ve listened to the story of my whole life and you’ve shared your experience back, and you have no idea how thankful I am for that. maybe you haven’t realised, but you’ve been of a huge help to me. thank you for being so understanding, for not judging me, for being so open about everything with me, thank god I have someone with whom I can talk about literally any subject without it feeling uncomfortable or like i’m being judged. I have so many things to say I can’t even find the words, honestly. I’m just so thankful that you exist and that I have you in my life, and that you actually like me as a person too. thanks so much. you’re my best bitch, together we’re the baddest bitches of the pan squad and I can’t wait to travel across Europe with you for real. the world ain’t ready for us. 

@hanniesunshine Isabel. you’re just the biggest ray of sunshine ever. everything about you is so pure I'm even scared to be one of the people you talk to because I feel like you don’t deserve to talk to me (I mean like you deserve much better than me) and that I'm way too filthy for you. you’re always so good and kind to me, so, so supportive, and I can’t even thank you enough for that. honestly, every time I see you somewhere, kakaotalk, WhatsApp, Tumblr, I just can’t help but smile because you’re the purest and brightest being the earth has ever seen and I can’t believe you would actually want to talk to someone like me. I'm so sorry for everything. I'm so sorry for being such a cold bitch (and for using this word) sometimes, and for almost never finding the right words. thanks for always being so eager about reading my content. I'll keep supporting you, and I'll do better in everything!! I love you, so, so much. I'll always be there for you if you need me or want me. 

@sleepyracha Marie. I'm so, so sorry I'm so inconsistent and that I don’t talk to you as much as I used to, I hope we’re still okay. I just want to thank you for being the open minded person you’ve shown me you are and for supporting me all the time, and for very interesting conversations about literally anything. I promise I'm learning Spanish and that soon we’ll be able to talk together in another language than English. I hope you’re doing well and that you know I'm always there for you, and if Tumblr isn’t the best place for you, tell me where you want me to be for you. congrats on passing this year, you’re someone amazing and you’re so chill, it feels so good to see someone like that. thank you for even talking to me in the first place, thank you so much and I love you. 

@lesbianbias Nina. you’re such a soft and pure person, I'm so glad you were my skz anon and that I got to meet a wonderful person like you. you’re always showering me with love, and I always feel like I don’t deserve it. thanks so much for all the support, please, please never change. I love you and you’re amazing. thank you for being so chill as well. I'll make sure I'll return that love to you. 

@xiaocity siya. thank you so much for listening to me, you know what I'm referring to. I know you’re one of those who really deeply understands me and I'm thankful we got to talk, even just a bit. I'm always there if you need me, thank you for supporting me and my works, and be more confident in your writing, it’s good!! I think we actually have a lot in common too, so if you ever feel like talking, feel free to drop by in my dms.

@littlefallenrebel Sophie. we haven’t talked that much, but I feel like we should talk more. we have a lot more in common than we think, I'm sure of it. thank you for being you, thank you for the messages you’ve been spreading with your posts and reblogs. you’re an amazing person and I'm happy you’re my mutual because you’re a truly good person. 

@visualgiggles sam. thank you for your reblogs, whatever they’re about they never fail to cheer me up, whether they’re about tolerance or just memes, even the latter help me regain faith in humanity. we haven’t talked that much but I would gladly talk some more with you if you ever wanted to. you’re a wonderful person and I'm thankful you’re my mutual. 

@dreamypansexual I don’t think we’ve ever talked, I'm not even sure I know your name so I don’t want to say something wrong. but that doesn’t matter, because you’re still one of the people who make me feel the most validated here. hell, you literally have a pan flag as your layout (your user... I mean yeah). your posts are always making me feel so much better because it proves me that there are still such tolerant and open people out there, so thank you. 

@cloudyyboii honestly, I think it’s kind of the same as with your friend right above between me and you. it doesn’t matter though, thanks for the validation and the tolerance you’re spreading around. love you. 

@jxsng Kylie. I don’t think we’ve ever had a private conversation, but whatever. you’ve shown me lots of supports in every other way and you’re such a sweet and open person, I'm thankful you’re my mutual. I feel small next to people like you because I feel like you hold the whole world in your hands, you’re one of those meant to go places and it shows. I'll always support you too. thank you for everything and I love you.

@ggukksrose shims. you’re definitely one of the people who make me feel validated the most, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I always see you sticking up for others and telling the haters to go fuck off, and you even did that with me. you’re an amazing person, and I admire you for the confidence you’ve managed to achieve and I wish you the best in the future, I hope you’ll only get better and better with your fights and if anyone ever messes with you I'll be throwing hands. just say the word. I love you. 

@cypher-yngi Emerson, am I wrong? we’ve never talked though we’ve been mutuals for so long. from what I've seen, we have a lot in common and I'd be more than ok to have even a simple conversation with you, even if you said Orangina was good. you’re also one of those who have helped me feel valid and realise I'm not alone in this world, so if you’re ever feeling alone, and if you want to, let’s be alone together, maybe? gotta love FOB. also, you have amazing music taste. and you're a fellow yoongi stan, and that itself says a lot about the kind of person you are. thanks for existing and I love you.

@wonwonbebe ah... have you ever told me what your name was? I have terrible memory. doesn’t really matter. I love you, I'm so thankful that you were my anon and can’t believe you actually went through all that just to talk to me. you have no idea how thankful I am. you’re a wonderful person, and I'm so, so happy to see that my mutuals are all so amazing and tolerant. thanks for all the positivity. 

@psycho-robin-chan robin, right? we’ve talked a bit before. if you read what’s above, you’ll probably find some parts a bit familiar, haha. I actually loved this conversation with you, if that makes sense? it’s always interesting and it feels good to let it out. I also like seeing I'm not alone, and I like to think that when I speak about such things with people I might also be helping them feel better. so thanks, you also make me feel valid with your posts and reblogs, and you’re such a tolerant and open and chill person at such a young age. never change anything! thanks for being here and supporting me. 

@mirohell sage! we haven’t been mutuals for long, and I'm not expecting you to read everything I've written, it’s ok if you don’t, really. I just wanted to thank you real quick because you’re already showing me lots of support and I feel like we’ll be getting along well. if you want to read this, I'm sorry for putting so much on your shoulders so quick lmao, you’ll basically be knowing so much about me without having asked for anything. feel free not to read it, I'm repeating myself again but really, the actual important part of this post is this one where I thank you all individually. so thank you!! I'll do my best in supporting you in the future as well, and not only by showing your edits some love haha

@theminho min! we haven’t been mutuals for long either, but thank you for caring about me. thanks for even just following me. thanks for this message you’ve sent, it means a lot really. you don’t have to read all that I've written above either,, don’t feel pressured, I just wanted to thank you personally too for just being here and for the support. feel free to come talk to me whenever you want (if you ever want) and I'll be supporting you always!! 

@justlovingkpop my sweetheart, you’re just too cute and so supportive and loving. thank you so, so much for everything and for coming to talk to me!! I'll go reread some of your work soon to because I've missed it. thanks for existing, and know that I'm always there for you. love you lots. 

@strawb-milk-tea my babyyyy I'm going to repeat it but thank you and I love you and you’re so cute and you’re NOT a potato ok, you’re so, so pretty like I knew I was gay but phew... I feel valid too when I see you. long live the gays. 

@five-pence hey there! it’s been a while. hope you’re doing well. thank you for supporting me, thank you for making me feel valid as well, and I love you very much. I'm here whenever. 

@jooheonenthusiast yo. we’ve basically only talked bc of that one post I made, and it’s been enough to show me that you’re an amazing person and a bad bitch. thanks for your support and fuck the homophobes. I love you. 

@marriael adellum. you’re a really kind person. you’re so pure. and you make me me feel very much valid, love your profile pics from the last days by the way. thanks for existing and I'm glad you’ve joined us on the network, it’s a pleasure to have someone like you around. hope I'm not too much of a pain in the ass. 

@channiiebby gryphon. we’ve never talked privately, but you’re a sweetheart. thanks for being you. you’re valid and you know it, and that makes me feel valid too, so thanks for showing me it’s okay to be who you are. I love you.

that’s it. I'm out of words. I've been at this for like 2 hours now. if I think of anyone else, I'll just reblog and add them. but right now I feel totally empty because of all the emotion hive poured into all this and I need to recharge, so good night and I love you all. thank you for your time and attention. 

happy pride month everyone,

your friendly neighbourhood pansexual, zia. 

[pickledchickenetti]

So I’ve had something on my mind for the last week or two that I’ve been trying to figure out how to best start a post about and coming up short. We all know that I have a tendency to be long-winded, and some of this post is going to be stream of consciousness, at least moreso than my usual longer posts, which I usually wait to start until I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to say and how I want to say it. I may go back and edit this some at the end, I may not, probably depends on how it comes out. (Edited at the end to add: I’m not editing anything. It’s long and I’m not expecting anyone to force themselves through it, but thanks to those who do!) Since this is partially me using my blog as a place to ruminate on some things, I’m going to put it under a read more for those who don’t want to have it clogging up their dashboard. 

Lately I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings regarding social media and what voices and mindsets I allow to be a part of my everyday life. I put a lot of effort into carefully treading the line between taking unnecessary negativity out of my social media feeds and creating an echo chamber where I only see people who agree with me. Most of the time, the decision comes down to the tone and intent. If someone is consistently rude, angry, or condescending, with very little useful contribution to any conversation I unfollow them. This applies to people on Facebook who constantly use slurs, post hateful things about people with opposing beliefs or political stances (even if I generally agree with that person’s beliefs or stances) with little attention to facts, and it also applies to people here are just needlessly rude with no real contributions to the overall conversation. 

The older I get, the more I find choosing kindness to be a priority in my life. I’m not perfect; I fully admit there are still times when I’m rude or condescending. Sometimes this is an accident, and unfortunately sometimes it isn’t. I don’t like this, and I try especially hard not to be intentionally condescending. Kindness is a choice, and progress takes time. 

As I’m sure most of you know, I am often very critical of @kristagay‘s posts. I still stand by many, possibly even most, of the opinions I’ve shared. Kindness is important to me, but it’s also important to me to not let other people’s hurtful words or actions go unchecked when I have the ability to say/do something. (This applies to everyone in my radar, not just Krista.) I have very strong opinions on a number of subjects, but it’s especially important to me to speak up in defense of others in the LGBTQA community as that’s a community I belong to and those struggles are more personal to me. 

A little while back, I got a string of anons (many were answered, some were deleted) that made it seem like someone was trying to create some sort of feud between me and Krista. As I said in one of the posts at that time, I was under no illusion that Krista was reading any of my posts that didn’t tag her directly, and had no interest in any sort of feud. Krista does not follow me, and in general does not seem to interact much on Tumblr beyond asks to her and posts she is directly tagged in (or reblogs/comments on her posts of course). I would likely be the same way if I stumbled onto a community of people discussing every little detail of people I was friends with in real life. I would want to set the record straight and defend my friends while also respecting their privacy, and as a result I doubt I’d interact much anyway. I respect her choice to not discuss them at all, even the things seen on TV, and hope she will continue to make that choice no matter how annoying people asking her for info might get. (And to Pickles and anyone else who has crossed the line and sent her intentionally inflammatory messages/questions about the Duggars or hate for the sake of hate, please kindly delete your accounts and learn how to interact with actual humans in a respectful way.) 

When I got the string of anons asking me about Krista, I took a step back and tried to objectively examine why I followed Krista, why I continued to devote energy in responding to her posts, and if it was worth my time and emotional energy to continue doing so. The difference I found between Krista’s posts, which do often frustrate me, and posts from others who I have chosen to unfollow and/or block is the intent and context behind the posts. 

At the end of the day, Krista and I are very similar. We were both raised in very conservative families/churches, who had different plans for us than the lives we’ve chosen to pursue. We’ve both come to believe differently about God than the churches we were raised in. And we both know what it’s like to have to keep up appearances, especially online, in order to not destroy (or majorly hurt) relationships with people in our lives offline who it’s still important to maintain a relationship with. 

There are a couple big differences between us. First of all, I’m gay. I came to believe differently than the church I was raised in largely because I’ve had to just to be who I am and not feel depressed and suicidal all the time. When you grow up gay in a conservative family, life gives you two choices: shut off who you are and spend your life convincing yourself you are who you were told you were supposed to be or do major amounts of soul-searching to figure out who you are and how to accept yourself. When you’re already evaluating one major aspect of who you are and what you believe it becomes nearly impossible to not do that same evaluation on the other beliefs you were raised in. Because of this process, I’ve come to see a lot of hypocrisy and downright lies in the belief system I was raised in. This has pushed me into developing a pretty strong set of opinions, beliefs, and political stances that stand in stark contrast to my family and lifelong family friends. 

As a cisgendered straight woman, Krista did not have this huge thing forcing her to do major soul-searching. Despite this, she has done soul-searching, and seems to still be doing it. (It’s really a lifelong process, after all.) She has stepped out into a world that she likely didn’t consider being able to live in as a little girl. She’s pursued an educational and career path that’s impressive for even women who were raised being encouraged to focus on education, so for someone in her church and belief system to get to where she is is monumental, and for that I applaud her. So while I definitely disagree with her beliefs on a number of subjects, and will continue to say so (with thoughtful responses, not just complaints) when I feel her posts call for it, I am doing my best to remember that no one was born perfect, and she is still learning just as much as the rest of us are. I’ve said many times that I really do believe her intentions are good, and I stand by that belief. She’s learning. She’s trying. She may be one of the more conservative voices in our tumblr community, but many of us have admitted we used to be worse than we are now, and she’s come a long way from who she once was too. 

The other big difference between us, at least as far as tumblr goes, is that she has chosen to attach her name and face to her posts on here, and I have not. Many of you know who I am, follow me elsewhere, etc. That doesn’t change the fact that publicly, all you see is a food-based username and (currently) a photo of Jana Duggar on a boat. I share my first name, my age, and my general location. While someone who knew me offline could likely piece together my identity if they paid enough attention, I am careful to not overly-identify myself. This relative anonymity grants me the privilege of speaking freely online without worrying about offline consequences. Krista has not granted herself that same anonymity. I’m honestly a little embarrassed that I had never considered before the fact that she likely does not feel she can speak freely on Tumblr. I am very careful what I post on my other social media platforms. When my name and face are attached, I pretty much never mention LGBTQA issues for fear of outing myself and losing family members I’m not ready to lose. I don’t post about the abuses found in many Baptist churches or the lasting harmful effects I feel from my overly-religious childhood. This is partially to avoid a can of worms with a widespread ripple effect and partially out of respect for my parents and their desire to not have to defend me for believing things they don’t even agree with themselves. For Krista, the things she says here can and likely do affect her life offline, and it’s something that’s important to keep in mind when reading her posts. 

I don’t say all of this to say that Krista gets a pass for hurtful things she says. We all are still accountable for the things we say, and she has chosen to put herself in the position of having to choose between saying things that will hurt her offline life, censoring herself, or staying silent. There are topics I still wish she would just address openly or not at all. But at the end of the day, she has the same right to censor herself here as I do elsewhere, and I will be trying to keep that in mind going forward. When interacting with her privately, she’s only ever proven herself to be kind and open to hearing what I have to say. In the future, I may give her the same respect I often give my offline friends where I just send her a DM to clarify her intent of a seemingly rude or hateful post instead of just calling her out publicly. We’re all learning, Krista included. 

Social media, especially Tumblr, has given in to a dangerous mindset that’s often referred to as “cancel culture”. There are times when it is absolutely the right choice to “cancel” someone. Like I said at the beginning of my post, we have the right to choose what voices to allow into our feeds. We should all take advantage of that right and do what’s best for our mental health. I just think we should also be more mindful of context and intent when deciding whether or not to “cancel” someone. We all say we want young girls (and boys) in fundie communities to get out of that lifestyle and find better beliefs, but getting out doesn’t happen overnight. Many of us have the benefit of getting here after shedding many of our toxic beliefs. For those who aren’t there yet, I hope we will just remember to choose kindness and respect and do our best to be open to educating them without being hateful or derogatory. 

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 1373

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 1373

Spoilers, obv.

(I say I do these before the next issue came out. I was posting this yesterday and my tumblr account died. As in, my tumblr account was terminated.There’s a couple of things which make me think it’s a glitch (not least there’s no reason for it I could think of, unless Tumblr really loathes writer notes about a lucifer nun. I contact them going “Huh?” and come the morning, it’s back. Hmm. Anyway - here you go, and the next special - Wicdiv: the funnies is out today) 

The final historical special, which seems to require my notes to pull them together and talk about the larger intent. Sitting here and writing, I’m not sure I want to. The backbone of the specials have been the relationship between various Lucifers and Ananke across the centuries. You get a chance at least get acquainted with four Lucifer’s, and get to compare and contrast, and you get to see more developed portraits of what Ananke has been up to across the centuries. As the last one in the printed chronology, that means this one ties all that together, plus (as the other one) introducing some key ideas for the next arc.

It differs in another way – while that’s how the reading order will work for anyone working in single issues, in trades, it’s another story. These are going to be gathered together as Volume 8 (OLD IS THE NEW NEW) and printed chronologically (as in, 455, 1373, 1833, 1922). That’s how people in trades are going to first experience them, which creates a different spin and will bring different elements to the surface.

To state the obvious, the big thing in this one is “oh – here’s how bad Ananke can be.” By implication, it raises the stakes for the final arc in terms of what she could do if her back is against the wall.

I admit, I’ve always been a bit worried when I see a handful of people assume the specials aren’t essential to the story. I don’t believe we’ve ever said that, and it’s simply not true. You can skip them, sure, but it breaks the story as much as skipping any individual issue of WicDiv. What we’ve said is that trade readers don’t need to buy the specials to follow the story. I’m trying to think of anything I could have said that could have been misconstrued? Possibly the “anything we use will be reintroduced”? I dunno.

Anyway – this is simultaneously the biggest and smallest of the special. The idea came to me early – a Lucifer having escaped to a nunnery, repented and lived past the end of her two years. Then Ananke and Minerva catch up with her. Apart from that, I knew that it would give the clearest statement of what Ananke has been doing, and that it would end in fire. The rest of this issue was a process of discovery.

(I’ve talked influences here. Ken Russell’s the Devils. Carrie. The Seventh Seal. Black Narcissus. The Sound Of Music. One of these is a lie.)

To get it up front: I was raised Catholic. This issue caused Katie and Chrissy to basically glance side-eye at me, as if encountering an alien. I’ve done something similar to this before, with Generation Hope’s Idie, but this is a far deeper, darker dive into that.

Fun time, for everyone. The response has been interesting. The people who loved it adored it. Catholic Guilt fist-bump.

Jamie/Matt’s Cover: This is just a stunning one. Jamie’s ability to switch modes is something we rarely push in WicDiv (mainly in icons) but doing stained glass is a hell of a thing. But Matt comes out with something else, and actually making this thing glow. Numinous. Totally Numinous.

Ryan’s Cover: Ryan and I first worked together in Three, and I’d first really fell for his work in his Northlanders arcs, so there’s historical fiction previous. This is a particularly grimy issue of WicDiv, and he’s leaned into it. Lucifer, penitent, looking up – at us, but as we go further, we realise her Father. This is the only place we see with her horns. Clearly, having this on the cover and seeing what she looks like inside has an implied story.

IFC

The icons were oddly tricky here, and Jamie had to work for a period drawing of Satan to riff on. However, the Minerva is a delight. If anyone has seen my attempted drawing of a Minerva symbol when signing Volume 7 will know, this is about my level of physical accuracy.

One thing about the specials I find interesting is what’s the minimum of historical data we have to give to make a story make sense. Obviously “It is thought to be the greatest natural of all time” is loaded. Especially the word “natural.” I wish I tweaked it to make it clear I was talking about the Black Death’s effect on the world rather than just Europe though. The Black Death devastating Europe isn’t the biggest natural disaster – it’s the Black Death full stop.

Page 1

I wrote this issue sparsely. It’s designed to be mediative. As such, a slow long pan opening, setting up the themes visually.

The host… well, do I have to explain Catholicism here? The Host is transformed in the ceremony into the body of Jesus Christ. In this period, however, the actual eating of the host was relatively rare. As such, most ceremonies were more about the simple act of observing the host – the holding up in the modern ceremony is a hold-over for that, as well as the larger size of the host itself so folks can see it better.

Of course, that the observation was the key things make this scene possible – it’s possible for someone to observe the host without actually entering the church, as this long slow pan back from the divinity of the church to the rats on the streets show.

Avignon was home of the Papacy in this period. Generally speaking, there was less research in this special than any other one. I read enough to get the Black Death details I needed, to trace its path and various other things, as well as hitting up period Catholicism. However, it’s also the special that’s most based on my own actual pre-existing knowledge.

Page 2

Size is meaning, as always, and an intro to Lucifer’s cheery catchphrase for the issue.

Oddly, getting period Nun garb for lucifer was hard. I wanted originally for her to be a noviate (as in, Novice)but I couldn’t get reference I trusted, so I went full Nun. FULL NUN. Or NUN MORE GOTH as several excellent people put it.

Page 3

By this point we should realise that Lucifer wants her Father To Forgive Her. I am subtle and elegant in my writing, so you may have missed this.

Good stern mother superior here. The choice of the reds in the eyes is strong. And the reveal of the sawn off horns, which says everything about her.

Page 4

From Ring a ring o’Roses, which folks say is about the plague, but apparently dates from far too late.

Page 5-6

And hello, Minerva. You’re having a bad century too. Trying to signal that she’s falling apart but it’s not the plague was a tricky thing, and we obviously do a lot of pointing in the dialogue.

It’s only here that you start getting the weird and uncanny cleanness of the mud-rolling Lucifer. That she’s addressed as the Girl Who Walks Through Plague makes it even odder. This is an unusual notes for me – I haven’t looked at the issue in a while, so some odd stuff is striking.

“None of us are irredeemable” – god, this issue is king of the loaded lines.

The dispensation thing is a reach, but not an impossible one – during the plague there was a dispensation given in various areas where layfolk could hear each other’s confessions when there was no access to a Priest. This seemed a logical enough extrapolation.

Lucifer’s last lines… oh, I’ll save that. She’s got more WTF ARE YOU SAYING ones in a minute.

Page 7-8-9-10

The Two Days Later loc cap reminds me of what I was doing in terms of setting the date of the story – it’s the Sunday before lent kicks off. That google lets us easily find the calendar for the period and work out when Lent would start is A+.

So much mud! Matt is known for the hyper-bright effects, so to go into something as low-key as this is great. See how it works with Ryan as well.

Flagellants are one of the bits of the research which tweaked the story a little. Self-mortification was on my mind – it’s a key thing in The Devils – and the Flagellants are the avatar of religious injuries, so I was thinking of them anyway. After all – they’re a great image, this mass of people whipping themselves and lamenting loudly. Anyway, I do the research, and discover that as well as travelling the country lamenting, they also were basically a wandering lynch mob killing Jews. Which takes the fun out them, y’know?

“A ditch of god’s good earth is closer to paradise than I deserve” – that’s the kind of line that had me looking at my fingers as if they were alien beings. This issue was structured loosely – Lucifer is called, experiences things on the way, and hears Ananke’s confession” with me writing to explore the setting and characters. As such, it was a surprise half the things Lucifer said about the world around her. This shouldn’t surprise me though – I had a similar experience with Idie, in terms of just being afraid for her.

That Lucifer is THE GIRL WHO WOULDN’T BURN is another connection to Idie, of course. And also foreshadowing.

The nudity is the hardest thing to do, especially when you add whipping to it. I wanted it objective, nature of fact. I have no idea if we pulled it off or not. I do like the space that Ryan puts between the head flagellant, Lucifer and the rest – as if they’re a little intimidated, not wanting to be involved.

And then Lucifer’s judgement. Lucifer’s pride and self-hate are fascinatingly intertwined. I’m not sure if I could have dealt with writing much more of her, but part of me would love to have.

(God – just had the image of Lucifer as my crucifix, which is so OTP I laugh)

The silence at the end of the page makes it linger. The expression Ryan gives Lucifer at the end of the scene – utterly ambivalent to the violence behind her – is one of the more quietly chilling things in the book.

Page 11

I could have just had Lucifer find Ananke here, but I wanted something to show her heading through the town – as well as a chance to look at the plague symptoms. The idea of Ananke having arranged all these corpses to guide the way seemed both chilling and very Ananke.

Worth noting – these are the wrong symptoms for Plague circa 1373. This is the original Black Death symptoms, because Ananke is still carrying the O.G. Plague. It’s not the sort of thing I suspect anyone would ever notice, but it’s there.

Lucifer entering the hut on the last page is a great one – Ryan modulating tone towards Lucifer. This is a straight horror shot.

12-13

And hello, Ananke. You look well, how are you, what have you been up to?

YOU DID WHAT? ANnnnnakkkke!!!!

I like the central framing of this. Purely Objective.

The core question of the issue right at the end of the issue – I do like how Ryan has Ananke pushing up the villain here. Ananke knows how this is going to go. Anankes always don’t really want to die, but I suspect this one may be an exception. This has been no fun at all for her.

The Harrowing Of Hell is basically when Christ went down to Hell to free all the souls from Satan. In short. I’m really not sure how much of this stuff I have to say – a lot of you are Americans, and a far less secular culture than us Brits. Most of my readers didn’t know any of this, which did lead to dialling back the allusions a little.

From now on the issue is basically two women talking in a room, one of whom spends the whole time weak in bed. This is not exactly dramatic comics, so we have to work to keep it visually interesting. To be honest, I always like the challenge. One of the most fun issues I wrote at marvel was just Cyclops and Wolverine in a cell, arguing, with just a six pack for company.

Anyway – some great expressions here from Ananke. Look at panel 5 on page 13. Such contempt!

Page 14-15

For those working out what’s up with Minerva, 14 would be the page to go into. We already know from issue 36 what happens if she can’t complete the ritual.

The flashback to Lucifer’s transformation is an interesting one – the pink colouring really makes me think of 90s Vertigo, and the non-pop-comics they put out then seem to be the closest to this issue.

I like the steel in Lucifer’s glance in panel 2 of page 15, and how uncomfortable that makes Ananke.

Page 16-17

The main thing to try and keep this scene less static is Ananke’s Knife. For these two pages it’s a “Oh – Lucifer’s picked it up. That implies something.” The second is “is she going to use it”. Keep things interacting.

These pages are the simplest explaining of Ananke’s methodology. A lot could be extrapolated, but this ties it together. The other side of this pushes forward what I originally conceived for the historical specials  - as in, seeing how Ananke’s desires twist a little across the centuries. Frankly? She hits the beat again later, but this is a snapshot of how she’s feeling circa 1373.

Page 18-19 “Adieu” is the one bit of actual french in it. I’m not normally a big one on this. It just sometimes feels right.

The tension of the previous page turns is born of the knife, but here’s it’s all about Ananke’s questions. The pauses panel on page 18 is the thing which lends the question weight. I’m fond of “Frozen” panels where you don’t really get to see someone’s face.

The Father on Earth/Father in Heaven enters the story, of course. This is at the heart of the book.

Yet more dead parents on issue 19. WicDiv, eh?

Wherein, Lucifer has the world’s worst superhero origin story. It’s… like, Guilt? I’ve always had a sort of twinge of “Hmmm” towards Spider-man. Guilt is a motivation that has to be unpacked.

Anyway – Lucifer’s fundamental tragedy.

Page 20-21

Here’s a thought experiment for writers – try re-arranging the statements in the first panel here, and realise why we did the order we did and the implication it would carry if we did it in another way. “The Flagellants” is yet more precision to make sure you demarcate stuff.

The plague traveling comes from the research, and as far as I can work out, is accurate. Of course, there’s far better theories to explain this weirdness than “An invulnerable Old Lady was driving the ship”. People will come to respect my genius in years to come, I’m sure.

Ananke is laying it on a little thick, of course. Like… this is a very strange confession. Confessions are strange. There’s a question of what power is.

This is one of those pages which I suspect will become more important when collected with the other specials and read as the eighth volume before the conclusion.

Page 22-23

Great building rage here from Ryan, and what Matt does with the mood is also A+. The arrival of the wet, gore reds after an issue of the mud and old blood is something else. Compare and contrast to the reds and oranges in Lucifer’s eyes.

I look at this and think about page turns. In an ideal world, the 22-23 would be a page turn – you can see she doesn’t stab Ananke, and the self-inflicted injury by glancing to the right. But space is always a premium, and frankly every page could do with being the reveal-turn in this sequence. It’s that or pad it, right?

Ryan added a panel to draw out the pulling away the flesh, which I love.

“this is my body” is about the point where we realise THIS IS REACHING PEAK CATHOLICISM.

Page 24-25-26

I’m feeling if I explain the sacrament here, I’m patronising folks, and if I don’t, these notes kind of are missing the point. I say a bit earlier here, but Google Transubstantiation if you don’t know it. Suffice to say, this is a particularly blasphemous flip of the core regular miracle of the Catholic mass. Bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus Christ. Lucifer’s body into fire.

I can’t remember where I had this idea from. I knew it ended in fire initially, but didn’t realise it would be this. It was just there when I needed it. It made sense, and that it makes sense worries me. Comics!

Anyway – everything goes Carrie, as the fire consumes them both. The full horror stretching out and out as much as we can, and we return to the “father forgive me” which haunts this book. Which, by this point, everyone knows is loaded.

I like this Lucifer. She’s one of my favourites. I’m glad I got to write her.

Page 27

And Minerva heads off, with her bag of you know what, into the future.

Page 28

Yes “Transubstantiation” pushes the WicDiv design to breaking point.

That’s enough. Thanks for Ryan to join us on this one – he’s an incredible talent and we were lucky to have him. As I write, WicDIv: The Funnies drops tomorrow, with WicDiv returning for its final arc in November.

Thanks for reading.

[theoneandonlylittlebird]

Grief: healing a heartbreak

@klairasleeps

You asked how to heal a broken heart. I saw your post and I wanted to reach out. If I can provide any solace, any respite, I want to. Not just to you, but because we’re not going through this alone. How many heartbroken tumblrs might see this and think, yeah, me too??? I don’t know how to heal a broken heart, but I do know how to share. So, I don’t know if I can comfort you at all with this, but here’s what I’ve learned about my own grief:

The 10 Minute Plan:

If I can make myself do something- ANYTHING- for ten minutes, I can get through the day. One set of ten minutes at a time. I never said without crying while I do it.

Other people don’t always help:

- even when they’re well intentioned. I have demanded of myself that I reach out when I need to because I had to ask people not to call me. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to retell my tale over and over and over again... For me, the bleeding slows down and starts to scab over if I can get away from thinking about it even for a little while, so having people calling me to say “Hey, hows that really wrenching, god awful and super painful heartbreak going for ya?” isn’t all that helpful. I’ve had to learn to stand up for myself and say so.

Yes it hurts that bad and there’s NO SHAME IN THAT:

I catch myself calling myself the P word (pathetic) for being a weepy, sad, dejected sack of bad company- you see how this goes? And that’s all a crock of shit. There is no dishonor whatsoever in having loved so much, so deeply, that losing it is unbearably painful.

I don’t want your advice except when I do:

Everyone has opinions on what you should be doing to “get over it,” or how to manage the end of a relationship. Well. Some are great! Ok, that’s awesome. And some are not great. Don’t use those. But there are times when I just don’t want to hear it good, bad or ugly. “I��m not looking for advice,” is hard to say, but when I ask people to just listen, or to change the subject, most of the time they do. My people are great and really care and really want to help, so steering how they help me helps us both. That’s what I think. Take it or leave it.

Don’t tell me what a piece of utter shite my ex is:

People seem to be under the mistaken impression that insulting the person I’m so deeply in love with that I can’t bear to lose them is a great way to make me feel better. Doesn’t work for me. I LOVE THAT PERSON. The insults people think are so craftily designed to cast blame on them for the end of the relationship and thus exonerate me from whatever pain I’ve got really just make me feel like I have to defend my love and that they think I have poor judgment in people. I don’t. I LOVE and as above, there’s no shame in that. Besides, this kind of wracking-sobs heartbreak doesn’t apply to situations (for me) in which I left a crappy situation because I wanted to get the hell out of dodge. I don’t sob endlessly for those pricks. No, I’m sobbing because of what it could have been if only...

Oversimplifications and platitudes, HARD PASS:

Time will make it better... I effin’ know that and it doesn’t make me feel on inch better right now. Not one ever-lovin’ inch. They’re just fill-in-the-blank. No. Actually the situations that led to the demise of my previously happy relationship are complex and very real and deep to me, you can’t sum them up in a sentence. You weren’t even there. Listening and sharing about what you did for your own heartbreak, what worked and what didn’t:

OMG that was the friggin’ best. I know you were listening when I told you I was hurting. “When I felt that way, I X-ed and it helped.” I don’t know why this works, but it’s different from the whole “advice” thing. I don’t feel like I’m being told what to do or how I should manage something or how I should cope. An example from me... “I am really miserable about the loss of this person I treasure and deeply love so I have committed to working on my health by going for walks every day, even when I don’t want to. I feel better when I actually do it.” I have no idea if this will help/support anyone else in this situation, but I never said anyone SHOULD do that thing, just that it’s supporting me. These conversations make me feel like the person has empathy rather than pity. Please, work that shit when I ask for it.

Self-care:

You know what? See the Ten Minute Plan above. When I find myself paralyzed by grief, I start running down the list of things that might get me through the next ten minutes until I find something I might even consider doing and then I do that thing. It’s self-care. It might be, in my case, taking a shower, doing some of the dishes but promising myself I don’t have to do the whole job because who gives a frilly godsdamned? It might be a video game or going to get the mail because that will get me outside in my yard. It need not be extravagant or take a long time, it just needs to be something I’m willing to do other than sit and cry.

Speaking of sitting and crying:

Sometimes I do that shit. And that’s totally cool. I’ve made it cool that if I really, really need to be doing that, that’s what I’m doing. Doesn’t matter when or where, I get that. I get to do that. I also get to leave places when I need to leave and I get to stay home when I don’t want to go. It’s part of a promise I made to myself to take care of what I need.

Taking care of what I need:

My process is legit. What I’m feeling is fine. How I manage it is fine. (Note- danger to self or others isn’t fine, that’s not what I’m talking about, if you’re in that space get pro-help.) I have exempted myself from my own judgment (and everyone else’s) about how I work through this really hard, really awful and achingly difficult thing that I don’t have a choice about going through. Part of my process is using what I learned in therapy all those years ago- I use ACT specifically, but other stuff too- because I am able to remember what digging myself out of a hole was like when I succeeded before. Some stuff works better than others, some moments are easier than others. My point, to myself, is not to judge my own process because that doesn’t help me.

Climb out when ready:

One thing I am quasi-religious about doing is not standing in the way of my own progress. For example, if I have a good day, to acknowledge it as such and not beat myself up for clearly not having been invested as much as I should have been in my relationship because I’m not wrecked every single froggy moment. Yeah, my brain says that shit to me. But I choose not to listen and instead to be grateful for the good day and actively praise myself for whatever strength it took for me to execute said good day. Doesn’t have to be all day, either, I get praise for a good ten minutes too.

Closing thoughts:

I have no idea if any of this will be helpful to anyone else, but writing it helped me. I am not giving any advice (except the part about getting  pro-help when you do need it, because, obviously) and only offer this as something that might sooth so you know you’re not alone. I hope others will add what they do for themselves because then I’ll know I’m not alone either.

[dr-gloom]

Spookmonth Fics Masterpost

Read them all here on AO3

Simply Meant to Be - Day 1 

Summary:  Virgil really loves Halloween, and parties. Especially Halloween parties. Patton really loves Virgil.

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, costumes, Virgil is non-binary, Remy is genderfluid, hence the costume

This is Halloween (Everybody Make a Scene) - Day 2 

Summary:  Patton really wants to go trick-or-treating and manages to convince his boyfriends, but not everyone is as enthusiastic as him about the idea of adult trick-or-treaters.

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Tags/Warnings:  genderfluid Patton, Nightmare Before Christmas all over the place, I’m not sorry, some anxiety but let’s be honest I can’t write anything with Virgil without him freaking out at some point, mean suburban mom, can anyone feel my distaste for the suburbs yet?, Human AU

The Pumpkin King - Day 3 

Summary:  Halloween is coming up and Patton wants to carve pumpkins with his friends-turned-roomies. Virgil hasn’t even looked at a pumpkin in years, and the others are about to find out why.

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, pumpkin carving, lots of angst for like the first half, mentions of cancer, minor character death but it’s just mentioned

But Who Here Would Ever Understand - Day 4 

Summary:  Patton and Virgil have both had hard days at work, so they decide to take a little walk and talk about Serious Business™.

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings:  Virgil has Borderline Personality, Patton is a transmale, poor bois, hot chocolate, sweaters, sunsets, Human AU

There Are So Many Things I Cannot Grasp - Day 5 

Summary:  Logan hates the fall, because all he can see is the death of nature. Patton loves the fall, because he can push his boyfriend into a pile of rotting plant bodies leaves!

Ship: Logicality

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU (which I always forget to tag), idk what else to tag?, jumping in leaves, hhhhhh what a mess, I can feel the leaves scratching me no thanks

How Could I Be So Blind? - Day 6

Summary:  Virgil has never understood the point of decorating. Much less decorating for a season.

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, Non-binary Patton, Patton is an elementary school teacher, decorating for fall, there’s like one ‘oh shit’ moment but everything’s okay, cute dorky gays

This Looks Like Fun - Day 7

Summary: Patton’s been getting a lot of questions about the cookies people see his boyfriends eating in his videos, so he decides to make a video about them!

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Tags/Warnings: some swearing, Virgil eats like, everything, very ridiculous, Human AU, Virgil goes by Anx on Tumblr and his boyfriends try to respect that

I Must Be Dreaming - Day 8

Summary: Virgil has never been to a fall festival before, but he really wants to go with Logan. 

Ship: Analogical

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, a little bit of angst, will I ever be able to write straight-up fluff? Who knows, cute boyos

I’ve Never Felt This Good Before - Day 9 

Summary: Virgil and Roman have been together for a few years now, and Roman’s been planning something big. He loses his patience and decides to spring his plan into action on Halloween.

Ship: Prinxiety

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, dorks, cutie patooties, hella gay

Life’s No Fun Without A Good Scare - Day 10 

Summary: Roman talks Patton into trying out the corn maze. They totally don’t get lost.

Ship: Royality

Tags/Warnings: Human AU, useless gays, some swearing

Don’t We Love It Now - Day 11 

Summary: Patton drags Logan along to a hay ride. Logan does not like hay, but ey loves Patton, so ey doesn’t complain. 

Ship: Logicality

Tags/Warnings: Agender Logan, hay rides, little accident, it’s fine though no one’s hurt, Lo’s a sap for his sap

Instead of Throwing Heads - Day 12 

Summary: Logan takes Virgil apple-picking. 

Ship: Analogical

Tags/Warnings: slight injury, dw it’s okay, gay nerds pickin apples

Year After Year (It’s the Same Routine) - Day 13 

Summary: Patton loves many things, but Friday the 13th is not one of them. 

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Tags/Warnings: superstition, cute poly boyos, Patt’s not all that into religion because lots of ppl use it as an excuse to hurt others, but he doesn’t have a problem with ppl being religious, cute phone contact names

I Can’t Believe My Eyes - Day 14 

Summary: Virgil has a secret. Roman is more than thrilled to discover it. 

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings:  Logan is non-binary, Dee has vitiligo, bois obsessed with caffeine, idk man it was just funny

Make You Jump Out of Your Skin - Day 15 

Summary:Deceit really loves October. 

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings: sympathetic Deceit, Dee plays pranks, it’s funny, s/o to @lucifer-in-my-head​ for helping me with Patton’s idea.

Why, That Looks So Unique (Inspired) - Day 16 

Summary: No one makes couples costumes for polyam relationships. The boys decide to take matters into their own hands, with a little help from Steven Universe. 

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Tags/Warnings:  costumes, fusions, halloween, roman’s good at art (unlike me), cute boyos

And How You’ll Scream - Day 17 

Summary: Virgil talks Patton into watching a Halloween movie with him, despite how nervous they are.

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings: non-binary Patton, halloween movies, cute supportive boyfriends, patton gets scared but virgil comforts them

Feels Like Tragedies At Hand - Day 18 

Summary: Virgil doesn’t sleep. He isn’t capable of sleeping anymore, and he hates it. But one night, Thomas can’t sleep either. 

Ship: platonic ThVi

Tags/Warnings: shitty summary, ghost virgil, witch thomas, idk are these really monsters?, sorry yall, reference to death

Something’s Waiting Now To Pounce - Day 19 

Summary: Virgil and Patton go to a haunted house and someone gets too scared to finish what they started. 

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings: Human AU, this is based off of a real event, i went to a haunted house with my friend, i was virgil, some spook/angst/suspense(?), minor swearing

Won’t The Children Be Surprised - Day 20 

Summary: Patton convinces the others to explore a supposedly haunted carnival with him. It… doesn’t exactly end the way they’d thought it would

Ship: platonic LAMPDS

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, haunted carnivals, spoopy, remy’s a butt, is he real? no one knows

Only Dust And A Plaque - Day 21 

Summary: Logan hated not knowing what happened. He wished he would just be left alone. 

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings:  human AU, ghost logan, angst, idk sad logan, minor violence but no one is hurt

Here Lies Poor Old Virgil - Day 22 

Summary: Virgil had been the one to always talk Patton into visiting the graveyard, but this year Patton has to go alone. 

Ship: Moxiety

Tags/Warnings: human AU, major character death, really freaking sad, I’m not sorry, poor Patton, poor Virgil

You’d Better Pay Attention Now - Day 23

Summary:  Virgil’s up late and gets scared by something unexpected.

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings: virgil gets spooked, it’s dumb

When You Call “Who’s There?” - Day 24 

Summary: Roman gets out of rehearsal pretty late one night, and has to walk home alone. He lets himself get a little too paranoid. Or does he?

Ship: romantic or platonic Prinxiety

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, hella suspense yo, roman’s an actor, virgil is mentioned, very spooky walks home

It’s Been Dead For Much Too Long - Day 25 

Summary: Not all ghost stories are told by the living. 

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings:  Human AU, graphic depictions of blood/gore/violence, seriously if you’re at all squeamish you probably shouldn’t read, ghost!Roman, ghost!Deceit, death, suicide mention, animal mutilation, murder

Somewhere Deep Inside of These Bones - Day 26 ((sequel to Day 21))

Summary: Remy had heard all the stories growing up, so naturally he wants to see what the truth is when he still believes in the ghost that lives in that rundown house downtown. 

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings: Human AU, angst, poor Logan, things are all coming together, Remy and Declyn are dorks, ouija board usage, i do not condone such acts of foolishness

With Lives on the Line - Day 27

Summary: Roman brings his boyfriends to the imagination, and things go horribly wrong. 

Ship: LAMP/CALM

Tags/Warnings:  violence, but i mean like, fist fights, uhm, idk what else

Can’t Shake This Feeling That I Have - Day 28 

Summary: Patton wants to play Outlast with Virgil. How could he say no?

Ship: platonic Moxiety

Tags/Warnings: it’s a horror/suspense game so, creepy, suspenseful, anxiety attack, some swearing, Human AU (I keep forgetting to add that one to my fics whoops)

Something’s Up With Virgil - Day 29 

Summary: Remy throws amazing Halloween parties, with a crazy money prize for his costume contest. Virgil wants that money. 

Ship: Prinxiety

Tags/Warnings: Dragon Witch costume, Virgil’s unfairly hot, based on @em-be-lievable‘s Dragon Witch AU, Human AU, College AU

What Have I Done? - Day 30 

Summary: Roman ate the last of the Crofter’s. He could only imagine how furious Logan would be.

Ship: no ship

Tags/Warnings:   intimidation, servitude, Roman wtf, belittling, slight swearing, Human AU

Join You By Your Side - Day 31 

Summary: This was by far the scariest thing Virgil has ever done in his life. He’s planned for this day for months, put up with things he never would have before, just to see this day happen. All for Remy. 

Ship: Sleepxiety

Tags/Warnings:  flashbacks, cute nerds, self deprecation, halloween festivities, I’m trying to tag this without giving anything away, Human AU

[shroud-of-roses]

Bronwyn’s Witchcraft FAQ

This is my FAQ for mobile users to access! I know tumblr is a pain, so here is my complete FAQ under the cut. I will update this as I add to my FAQ on my main tumblr page!

I have divided my FAQ into several sections, so feel free to look around till you find what you are searching for! The first section is for those of you that are curious about witchcraft, and want to learn more about it; whether that means you are thinking of trying it or know someone that is, I felt having it up at the top would be useful. Remember, my ask box and messages are always open, so let me know if your question isn’t on here, or you need further clarification!

Basic Witchcraft Questions

Is witchcraft real?

Yes, witchcraft is real. Many people practice witchcraft, and you’d be surprised to find that you probably know at least one witch personally. I have met at least four other witches that I know of. It’s a skill, art, and practice, and as real as any other.

What is witchcraft?

Witchcraft is the practice of using energy, tools, and other mediums such as herbs, candles, and crystals to bring about change. It is not the same across the board, and can be seen differently in many cultures, regions, and groups. In short, it is the intentional use of one’s own power to create an energetic shift that will change a future event or add something to an area, object, or person. It is neither inherently evil, nor inherently good; all things can be used in a positive, negative, or neutral way.

Are witches evil?

Witches can be anything. But being a witch does not automatically make you evil. A label doesn’t usually provide moral alignment. For example, I have met teachers, religious leaders, and peers that were kind, mean, or fairly neutral in nature. Their title as a teacher, religious leader, or peer did not change that factor. The same is true for witches.

Is witchcraft dangerous?

Witchcraft is a practice, just like gardening, yoga, or even medicine. Just as a gardener can accidentally come into contact with deadly nightshade if they don’t know what it looks like, so, too, can a witch make a mistake due to inexperience. As a whole, witchcraft is generally seen as something to be cautious with, but not something that will kill or seriously maim the practitioner. I always always always recommend learning about the more risky pieces of the practice before diving in, and even then, I suggest learning protection magic before any other kind. Research is an incredibly important piece of witchcraft, and leaving it behind is what is dangerous.

Are witches the same as Wiccans? Is Wicca the only way to be a witch?

This is a common misconception in the witchcraft community, especially among beginners. Wiccans are the members of a religion known as Wicca. Wicca was made and popularized in the 1950s-1960s by a man named Gerald Gardner. It was created to fit well with witchcraft. Witchcraft is an ancient, truly timeless practice, and came long before Wicca. Some witches are Wiccan, but not all of them. A lot of Wiccans are Witches, but that is not a requirement for being a Wiccan. You do not have to be a Wiccan to be a witch, or vice versa.

What is Wicca?

Wicca is a religion created by Gerald Gardner. He made and popularized it in the 1950s-1960s, and it is meant to be an ideal partner for witchcraft. However, being a witch is not necessary to be a Wiccan.

The religion centers around the worship and invocation of the “Goddess” or “Lady” and the “God” or “Lord”. Traditionally, these figures remain as such, without goddesses and gods from other cultures representing them. You can find more information about the rituals, altar setup, etc. from a local Wiccan group, or ask someone you know who practices it themselves. I am not Wiccan, but I will share what I know with you here.

Traditionally, people who want to become Wiccans are required to join a coven and become initiated (which varies from tradition to tradition, and group to group). There may be a High Priestess, Priestesses, High Priest, Priests, High Priesten, Priesten, or other leaders they can contact to set this up, or ask for resources and information.

Usually, a period of study leads up to the initiation. In this way, the person looking to become a Wiccan has the chance to learn, have support from others in their faith, and can see the religion actively portrayed by practitioners. There may be levels to go through or ceremonies to partake in before the final initiation, but, again, this can vary.

There are also Neo-Wiccans. Neo-Wicca is a more-recent derivative of Wicca, and does not require any sort of initiation or ties to any coven or group. Because of this, many feel that it is more convenient and personally fulfilling than traditional branches of Wicca. It relies on solitary practice, and may include more personal elements of the religion, such as frequent offerings, or even iconology of a specific deity in place of the general “God” and “Goddess”. In my experience, a majority of people that follow some type of Wicca on online forums are Neo-Wiccans, but may not specify that. This is pretty much the extent of my knowledge, but I know there are many resources out there!

Is “Witch” a gender neutral term? Can guys be witches?

Yes, it is a gender-neutral term. Anyone, regardless of race, social status, gender, age, nationality, etc. can be a witch. It is a very welcoming practice for anyone to participate in- or leave- as they see fit.

Are witches born or can someone learn to be one?

You can be a witch whether you were born into a witch’s family or not. You may hear the term “hereditary witch” every once in a while; this means the person who uses the title had a family member (usually a parent or grandparent) that was/is a witch. It doesn’t give them any extra power than someone who was born into a family without any close relatives that practice witchcraft. However, these people are generally taught by a witch and/or grow up around witchcraft, which can boost their experience and knowledge in the practice. No one is born and immediately a witch. To be a witch, you must practice witchcraft. Babies don’t do that.  

Can witches fly, perform telekinesis, or other similar things from movies?

There are always going to be people that claim they can move things with their minds or turn into a werewolf. Unfortunately, this just isn’t true. Magic, in the real-life sense of the word, cannot defy the limitations of our chemical make-up or give us incredible powers that will make us rival superheroes. Movies have a habit of dramatizing and stretching tales in every area, and witchcraft is no different.

What can a witch do? What is possible?

Witches can cast spells to bring financial success, draw in luck, draw in love, and many other things. They may cleanse homes, cast protection spells over them, and ward negative/malevolent energy/entities from themselves or others. Witches can curse and bless. Witches can call or banish rain, snow, etc. They can heal and use energy to create change. Witches can do many things, some more subtle than others.

How can a witch prove they are a witch/that their magic works?

First, I beg the question: why should they have to? It is their practice, and not everyone wants to show off the latest results of their spellwork or the energy manipulation they can achieve. If they want to show or tell you about their practice, they will. Respect boundaries, just like you would with anyone else.

Being a witch requires that you practice witchcraft. If that isn’t good enough for someone to see that you are, indeed, a witch, there isn’t much else to do other than help them learn about the practice. Send them here, if you want.

If you wanted to show someone that your magic works, I recommend trying out energy work (sending energy through one hand onto a willing participant, giving off a specific intention for them to describe to you), divination if you are psychically inclined, or sharing the purpose of your next spell with them, and then let your success speak for itself.

Sometimes, spells don’t work. And that is nothing to be ashamed of. Working on it and finding flaws is what helps you grow as a witch, and having people around you critique it like they could do better is not an encouraging thing. Don’t feel obligated to share, but do if you and the person in question wish to share the experience.

Do witches sacrifice animals?

Not really. Some practitioners of certain practices, religions, etc., do kill animals according to their tradition, but it’s not extremely common as far as I have seen in the years I have been a witch and part of this community. I have read a post regarding this topic from the point of view of a culture/religion that does kill animals in rituals, and they relayed that they don’t torture animals or prolong their suffering. Just like a butcher would, it is always swift and not cruel when done correctly.

Religion and its Relationship with Witchcraft

Do witches believe in God?

Some do, some don’t. Just as being a doctor is a practice, so is witchcraft. Being a doctor doesn’t determine your religion, and neither does being a witch. I am not Christian, nor do I believe in the Abrahamic God. Anyone, from any religion, can be a witch.

Do witches worship Satan?

As stated above, some do, some don’t. Theistic Satanism isn’t something I see all that often among witchcraft communities. I see a lot of LaVeyan satanists (atheistic), but not too many that worship or honour Satan. However, some do. And that should definitely be respected, and not seen as an inherently bad thing. They may view Satan differently than those who devote their lives to the Abrahamic God.  

Aren’t you scared of going to Hell?

I am not, at least, not actively. I don’t believe in the Abrahamic God; I am a Hellenic Polytheist (I worship and honour the Greek Gods). I don’t constantly fear what I don’t believe in. I was raised Catholic, and the shift was difficult. I may never truly stop doubting my eternity or my fears. But I am more comfortable with my life than I have ever been. I speak for myself alone and not anyone else. Other witches may feel differently.

Do you have to be religious to be a witch?

Nope! It is entirely optional. In fact, witchcraft is a different category that can overlap with religion but doesn’t have to.

Can I be religious and not include the god(s) I worship in my practice?

Absolutely. I do this, and many others do as well. If I want to ask my gods for something, I do it directly, without a spell. If I want to do something on my own, I do. They are separate, but I value them both an incredible amount.

Can I be religious and include the god(s) I worship in my practice?

Yes. However, depending on your religion, it may be easier/harder than other religions. Ultimately, you’ll need to as two questions: 1) Do I want to incorporate my religion into my practice? And 2) Is my pantheon/god/goddess open to witchcraft? Usually, the answers to this come fairly easily. You can ask your pantheon directly (through prayer, divination, etc) if you aren’t sure.

How do I make offerings/begin a journey into another religion/research a religion?

This varies widely from religion to religion. My religious blog (for Hellenic Polytheism (Reconstruction-based)) is @breathing-in-gilded-dust . There are many groups, blogs, and official sites for different religions. Here are my main recommendations that I have found over the years:

Hellenion.org - for Hellenic Polytheism; includes hymns, calendars, ritual examples, resources, ritual dates, clergy certification, and more.

Elaion.org - for Hellenic Polytheism; includes hymns, calendars, ritual examples, resources, ritual dates, and more.

Baringtheaegis.blogspot.com - the blog of an insightful, well-read Hellenic Polytheist. Full of information, articles, and plenty of wonderful posts to read! A great place to begin if you’re wondering about the religion.

Theoi.com - Thousands of articles about specific Hellenic Theoi/Theia (gods/goddesses), rituals, hymns, mythos, and so much more. A wonderful resource for epithets, simple knowledge of myths, and learning about the Theoi in ancient context.  

http://www.labrys.gr/en/ - Labrys is a religious group formed by Hellenic Polytheists. They have a book recommended by many people, I believe it is called Household Worship. They have good resources online, too!

Kemet.org - for Kemeticism; includes resources, information, guides, ritual examples, and more.

Sacred-texts.com - holds so many pieces of sacred texts from so many different religions and cultures. It is the epicenter of documentation of religions like Hellenic Polytheism, Kemeticism, Nordic Polytheism, and tons more. I highly recommend looking around on this site, it is a great resource.

https://chs.harvard.edu/ - This is Harvard’s center for Hellenic Studies. It has a digital library and a friend of mine, @songbirdspells, has recommended it!

https://secondgenerationimmigrant.tumblr.com/post/162862714335/free-academic-resources-masterpost - This is a link to a free academic resource masterpost. Make use of it for religious investigation! It can be super helpful when looking for historical documentations.

Is this a sign from the gods?

Only you can decide if something you see/feel/experience is a “sign”. There isn’t a specific formula or rule book for determining this, but the general consensus is: follow your heart. Cliche, I know. Many of us rarely receive signs, and some of us never have/will. And this is okay. We don’t need a dove to tell us Aphrodite is watching over us. We already know that.

Beginner Tips, Guides, and Resources for New Witches

How can I begin?

The best thing you can do to begin your journey into witchcraft is read, record, and learn. Keep a journal for things you want to be able to look back on later, preferably in a medium you can rearrange and easily update. I recommend binders or online documents (google drive is my favourite). Some things I recommend researching first include:

Protection and warding

Correspondences for herbs, crystals, colours, and moon phases (later on, you may want to reevaluate these correspondences and decide which ones work for you and which ones don’t. There isn’t one perfect set of meanings for anything, so after experimenting, you may find that a particular item works best for love or finances rather than sleeping.)

Commonly used terminology in witchcraft

Meditation or mindfulness practices

Energy work

Candle magic

Divination

Herbal medicine (Herbs are used as medicine. I highly recommend learning not only their correspondences or mundane uses but also their potential side effects. Certain people are more susceptible to side effects or potency of herbs, especially those who are pregnant, breastfeeding, have illnesses/diseases, or are on medications. Herbs are not necessarily a safe thing to dabble in. Learn before you use them. Don’t harvest any, especially if you aren’t sure what they are. I harvested red columbine a long time ago without the slightest idea as to what it was, and I handled them before I ate. My stomach had a hard time for a day or so, and I later learned they are toxic. I could have have ended up much worse than I did, and I learned my lesson about not picking plants that I am unable to positively identify.)

Sigil making (I describe my knowledge of sigils here)

Spell writing/anatomy and spellcasting

Traditional witchcraft practices in your area

The different uses of different water sources (rain, stream, ocean, storm, etc)

Crystal care (some crystals can be damaged/bleached of their colour in sunlight, or crumble in water or other substances. Learning about the hardness of a crystal and their tolerance to sunlight are important for anyone that wants to keep their crystals in good shape. Some crystals are toxic to touch or release toxic minerals if they become wet. Research is key with witchcraft, and mundane information is incredibly important as well.)

Sensing energy/emotion (empaths, sensitives, psychics, and mediums find this easier than others, but anyone can develop these kinds of skills to a certain extent.)

Simple spells to keep up with your home (sweep out negativity with a broom and a chant, ring bells to disperse stagnant energy, etc

The use of tools in witchcraft (bells, brooms, cauldrons, candles, wands, staves, etc)

What you can and cannot do as a witch (can’t fly among geese, unfortunately. But you can learn about the astral realm, a term for other planes that one can enter and explore in many different forms. Some call this “flying”.)

Different practices of different types of witchery.

These are just my personal recommendations, not the end-all-be-all of beginner topics. If you are interested in something, learning about it is a wonderful thing to do!

Do you have a masterpost of your resources?

Yes, I do! Here is a link to it.

What are some good beginner tools?

Witchcraft is about using what you already have to achieve something that you don’t (whether that be an object, scenario, or state of being). Use what you have, and make what you want. You don’t need expensive items to be a witch, or to be successful as one. My favourite tools are crystals, my handmade wand (cost me nothing to make, since I had the materials and tools at my house), herbs from around my area or in my spice cabinet, and anything I can create for a specific purpose. I love making poppets (dolls you can use to heal, bring things to you/someone/something/an idea, or even curse), and I use upcycled fabric for them. Some people find altars to be a very useful thing to have, since there is a specific space you can sit at to do your workings. I go back and forth as to whether or not I want/need one. I usually settle on having a sacred space without any decor except my main tools and a box with everything else I use.

Here is a super general list of things you may want to look into, but do not have to buy by any means:

Incense sticks/cones and/or resins (with charcoal discs) and a holder to burn them with

Three-ringed binder (to journal, record information, and write down ideas for witchcraft)

Candles and/or candle holders (tea lights are cheapest in bulk)

Crystals that are safe in water and to touch (citrine, carnelian, rose quartz, amethyst, and clear quartz are my must-haves that I trust for gem elixirs and handling)

Sachet bags (the dollar store has these, and they are great for carrying around items such as crystals, herbs, and enchanted items)

Jars (jar spells are wonderful, and you may also use these for storing objects while you aren’t using them)

Ribbon and/or string

Nails and/or pins

Divination tools

My mentor said I have to (insert ‘must’ here) to be a witch. Is this true?

Unless they said “you must practice witchcraft to be a witch”, then no, it isn’t true. There are some ‘mentors’ who use the inexperience and ignorance of a new practitioner to manipulate and abuse them. Sex magic, blood magic, making oaths, or participating in any sort of activity you are not comfortable in is not required for you to be a witch. Get away from that person as fast as you can if they say otherwise. You are welcome to explore lesser-followed paths, but please do not feel obligated to do so in any manner.

How do crystals work? What makes them ‘magical’?

Crystals vibrate at certain frequencies, many of which are great for setting our intentions and shifting our own energy alignments/focuses. Casting spells and directing energy comes from within, not from the crystals. They help us get to a specific vibration so we can use the vibration to make a change and cast a spell. Some crystals help people sleep due to their vibration while others give their bearer energy. Crystals may affect everyone in slightly different ways, but there are usually a few basic meanings agreed upon by a majority of people for a specific crystal.

What is cleansing? How do I cleanse things?

“Cleansing” is the act of clearing away energy from an object, person, or place. One can cleanse in many ways, but some common ones include burying an object for 24 hours (I recommend burying items in a pot of dirt, not in the ground, to ensure you can find it again and no animals will be harmed by it), submerging it in water/salt water (only for items that won’t be damaged, of course), sprinkling an item with salt, holding an object as water runs over it, as in a stream, smoke cleansing with sage or other smoke-producing herbs/woods/etc, placing crystals around the object/person/place, energetic resetting, and bell ringing (or any constant tone ringing through the air). There are many more, but these are common methods.

What is charging? How do I charge things?

“Charging” is the act of instilling an object with energy that can be used later on. Crystals can be charged to re-establish the energy they hold to amplify their vibrational qualities. It’s like replacing the batteries in a remote. The batteries don’t make the remote something different, they just power it to be able to do its job. You can charge things by placing them in a window during a full moon/visible moon (full moons tend to work best), charge things the same way, but in sunlight instead of moonlight, use your own energy to fill the object, place candles around an object, spin an object rapidly (ex: a wand), or surround an object with crystals or herbs. There are other ways, but these are things I have tried and really like.

What is enchanting? How do I enchant things?

“Enchanting” is filling an object with a specific intent and energy. Unlike charging, enchanting does reprogram an item’s properties/energy, usually temporarily. This works best with objects that do not have a powerful vibration like a crystal or herb does. I recommend pebbles, coins, jewelry, clothing items, etc. You can enchant an item with your own energy or the energy of objects that relate to what you want to enchant the item with. I have a post on enchanting wards here, but you could easily use it as a guide for any enchantment.

What are sigils? How do I make them? How do I charge them?

Sigils are symbols created for a specific intention and purpose. I have a complete guide with pictures, text instructions, and advice right here! It’s a google drive share link, so it gives you access and shares it with whatever email you’re signed into if it’s a gmail.

What are sabbats? Esbats?

Sabbats are the eight holidays celebrated by most Wiccans and some witches. The holidays stem from the ancient Celtic religion (if I am not correct, please let me know so I can change this). It does have religious ties because of this, but many people do not observe them. Some witches do celebrate in some way on some/all of the sabbat dates, due to the fact that half of them fall on equinoxes or solstices,  and the other half are the midway point between a solstice/equinox. They have fairly easy to follow dates, each with a distinctive name. They are based on the seasons, so the northern and southern hemisphere dates are very different. The sabbats are: Imbolc, Ostara, Beltane, Litha, Lammas (or Lughnasadh), Mabon, Samhain, and Yule. I suggest researching the dates of these sabbats for your area if you plan to observe them. I don’t observe them as they are named, but I do have a similar system for myself, based on the solstices/equinoxes/shifts in temperature and weather.

Esbats are meetings between witches as a coven, which are usually held on the new or full moon. Any meeting of a coven to do a ritual is considered an esbat. I believe this is primarily a Wiccan thing, but I could be wrong.

What is the wheel of the year? Do I have to follow it?

The wheel of the year is the observance of the eight sabbats. They are derived from an ancient European religion (Celtic, I believe), and are celebrated most frequently by Wiccans. The wheel of the year observes the equinoxes, solstices, and the midpoints between them. You do not have to follow the wheel of the year if you do not want to. I don’t, and I am happy as can be!

What are the elements, and how are they used? Do I have to use them?

The elements are frequently seen in circle casting and on pentacles. The elements are Earth, Air, Water, Fire, and Spirit. This grouping of five elements is representative of the whole self, the whole world, the whole Universe. They can be used in circle casting as mentioned, they can be used as sources of energy during spells or rituals, and they can be communicated with during meditations (among other things). It is not a necessary part of being a witch, but many people do use the elemental system in one way or another.

Do I have to pick a path and label it?

No, you certainly do not. You don’t even have to call yourself a witch. Labels are words. Call yourself what you like, if you call yourself anything at all.

Why do some people spell magic as “magick”?

The idea to spell “magic” as “magick” came from the man Aleister Crowley when he wanted to differentiate metaphysical occurences from magic tricks at parties. Many people do this for the same reason, but there isn’t really a necessity for it. If you’re in the witchcraft or spell tag, I doubt you’re going to confuse a stage magician with a witch. There are also some issues with the actual kind of magic Crowley was talking about, which was ceremonial magic that was leading one towards their highest, truest purpose. Most of the things I see that are tagged or referred to as magick do not fall into that category, only because it’s not the same form as what Crowley defined as ‘magick’. It’s an outdated word often used inaccurately, anyway. I cringe a little when I see it due to this, and some of the people I met only use it for attention or to seem more ‘witchy’.  

Do I have to use spells made by other people? Can I write and use my own?

You do not have to use spells by other people, and you definitely can write and use your own! The only disclaimer I have for this is that you should read and try spells by experienced people you trust to get a sense of what a well-rounded spell feels like. Study before you jump in, as with anything else, just in case. It also helps you figure out what you really like to do, and you can experiment with different spell types and tools/ingredients.

Do witches have to join a coven?

Nope. The only time a witch ‘has’ to join a coven is if they are a Traditional Wiccan looking to be initiated, but not all Traditional Wiccans are witches, anyway.

How and why do people use the moon and its phases in spellwork/magic?

The moon affects many mundane things, from the tides to menstrual cycles. It holds so much history and energy that can be used in magical workings. It reflects the light of the sun, and is charged constantly because of this. It is full of nearly untouched vibrancy, which is great for many spells and rituals!

What is a grimoire? What is a book of shadows?

A grimoire is a book of journals, spells, correspondences, and other useful information in the possession of a witch. They can be physical or digital. A Book of Shadows (sometimes referred to as BoS) is a similar book of such things, but has more specific ties to Wicca. It is full of rituals and texts regarding Traditional Wiccan practices, and is less ‘personal’, for lack of a better word. It may contain the Wiccan Rede, copies of important rituals used in the practitioner’s coven/sect, or texts written by trusted religious figures.

What is energy work? How can I practice?

Energy work is the manipulation of metaphysical energy to manifest an intent or infuse power into something. It can consist of making orbs to send to others (healing, cursing, etc.), the use of energy to shield/ward a person/place/thing, using one’s own energy to charge or enchant an item, and much more. Some people even focus on energy points within the body and center themselves through energetic rebalancing. You can practice with exercises put on the internet for it, such as my favourite:

Rub your hands together. Feel the friction and the heat- the energy- produced by the action. Stop for a few seconds, and do it again, this time focusing on the feeling between your hands. For me, it feels kind of tingly, even after the heat has faded for a few seconds.

Rub your hands together again, and then pull them apart, but not too far from each other (maybe three or four inches from the other). Visualize and try to feel a blob/ball of energy between your hands, fueled by the friction’s energy. Do this several times, and make the blob/ball bigger if it becomes easier. Practice makes perfect with this!

What is warding?

Warding is a type of magical action in which an object or energy form wards off an unwanted subject. The subject could be a person, negativity as a whole, malevolent entities, spirits, misfortune, etc. Wards can be made of physical items or energies anchored to an area, object, or person.

What is grounding?

Grounding is the act of reconnecting to the Earth and resetting your energy to a more mundane frequency. It involves releasing your energy into the ground while simultaneously taking in new energy from the Earth. This is usually done after centering, and is very refreshing for those of us who struggle with energy consumption. This technique is ideal for empaths as well, due to how accessible it is and how effective it can be.  

What is centering?

Centering is bringing awareness back to yourself, and being mindful of your body, its energy, and how you feel. Centering is always found in meditation, and is a great skill that is used in mindfulness. To center, you can use breathing, visualization, and specific thoughts that help you return to your mind. Everyone centers differently, but once you find your method, it is so great to be able to do!

This is overwhelming. What should I do?

Whew, I know, right? It can be extremely intimidating to begin a practice like this. My biggest pointer is to allow yourself time to learn. Don’t cram like you’re about to take the ACT/SAT. This is a fulfilling practice, not a guide to college! You have plenty of time to learn, grow, and absorb information, which is awesome! I definitely recommend joining some sort of community, whether offline or online. Tumblr is definitely my favourite place to hang out, but there are other forums. Discord seems to have a good many, and I occasionally see links on Tumblr to other social media groups!

Astrology

I am a Leo/etc. so why don’t I feel like one?

Your sun sign is a teeny weeny tiny bit of who you are, according to the stars. There are so many different stars that relate to you, “houses”, moons, etc. You can calculate your natal chart (see next question) to see what other signs you are. The sun sign is who you are publicly, while your moon sign is most likely a better representation of who you are on the inside. It blew my mind when I discovered natal charts!

What is a natal chart?

A natal chart is the positioning of certain celestial bodies on the day you were born. It also takes into account the time and place of your birth. I recommend calculating yours! I believe I calculated mine with astro.com, but the next question has a masterpost of good resources to try, and I am sure I got the link for mine in that list.

What are some resources for beginners interested in astrology?

I saw a great post of some awesome astrology links! Here is the link to it for your convenience.

Do I have to learn astrology to be a witch?

Nope! Astrology isn’t witchcraft, just something many witches and spiritual people like! Actually, many witches don’t have a clue about astrology, including me. I know what four of my signs are based off of my natal chart, and I understand the traits of some of the zodiac signs, but that’s about it. I can maybe draw a few constellations and miss a couple stars, but eh.