#I know this is shorter compared to my usual but still hope you like it...

[oathofpromises]

kissing the tears from their cheeks . — from Data to Hiroto 👉👈

Hiroto let out a heavy sigh, his exhaustion evident as he ran a weary hand through his disheveled hair. Beads of sweat trickled down his furrowed brow, an indicator to the intense battle he had just emerged from. With a sense of finality, he carefully sheathed his gleaming swords, their blades now stained with the remnants of his formidable adversaries. Several days had passed since his last encounter with Data. The last time the two had talked, things hadn’t ended on the best of terms.

With a gentle, deliberate motion, Hiroto extended his hand, delicately placing a finger upon his lips. The gesture mirrored the tender proximity he had shared with Data, a moment that had stirred a tempest within his heart. Overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions, Hiroto instinctively resorted to his tried and true method of coping - fleeing from the scene. Data was deserving of far more than the presence of an individual such as him, yet the elder Caelum couldn't help but acknowledge the profound longing he felt for the brunet. The resounding echoes of the words he had vehemently shouted at Data continued to reverberate within his mind.

"I AM NOT SOME BROKEN THING YOU CAN FIX!! LEAVE BEFORE I DESTROY YOU TOO!"

Why did Data stir up such a whirlwind of emotions within the depths of his heart? The other had never harbored any animosity towards him, nor had they ever displayed a hint of doubt or suspicion. Every fiber of Hiroto's being yearned to be near the other, even if it entailed surreptitiously watching over Data from the recesses of the shadows. He was a radiant beam of sunlight, a soul adorned with the most tender heart. In contrast to Hiroto, who saw himself as a person of impure nature. A dark figure of shadows, fated to wander the world in solitude for eternity.

Filled with worry about Data's well-being, Hiroto discovered himself standing outside the abode of the captivating brunet. He was perhaps the very last person the other longed to lay eyes upon at this moment, considering the unfortunate turn of events that had transpired between them. However, deep within Hiroto's heart, he could feel an undeniable connection to Data, a sense he required his presence. Or perhaps, it was merely the whispering of the Viper's desire. Hiroto's heart fluttered as he patiently lingered, his ears yearning for the sweet melody of another voice. Alas, the silence persisted, compelling him to gracefully bend down and retrieve the spare key, that was carefully hidden under one of the flower pots.

"Data..are you here?'

Hiroto's heart skipped a beat as he stepped into Data's bedroom, only to find the lovely brunet nestled delicately on the bed. Silently, the viper crawled into the embrace of his warm bed. Tenderly caressing the face of the brunet, he beheld tears cascading down the tanned complexion. With utmost tenderness, he inclined towards Data, delicately caressing the contours of his face with his own lips. The flavor upon Hiroto lips resembled the delicate essence of sorrow, yet the older Caelum found himself unaffected by its bittersweet taste.

"Data…what troubles you?"

A wave of unease washed over him as he sensed the weight of the other's head seeking solace against his chest. As he enveloped Data in his embrace, he felt the subtle quiver coursing through the small Miqo'to form. The brunet's face bore the unmistakable marks of anguish, leaving no doubt that something big had transpired. And yet, Hiroto found himself grappling with a sense of uncertainty, questioning if he even had the right to be here, let alone hold Data like this.

'Why did you leave…'Data whispered, his voice trembling with emotion. His words hung in the air, heavy with sorrow, as Hiroto felt the grip of brunet hands tighten around a handful of his shirt. In all his encounters with Data, The Viper had never witnessed such a display of raw emotion. The brunet had always been adept at concealing his innermost feelings from the prying eyes of others. Always putting others before himself, it was one of the reasons Hirtoto wished to be someone the brunet could lean on.

"Data... I don't want to hurt you, and that's all I have ever done most of my life: disappoint or bring misfortune to those I care about. You deserve better, but I realize that I shouldn't have run off like that. I don't handle emotions well sometimes and end up running away from them. You know my past. For so long, I was alone, but meeting you changed all that. I can't think around you. Which is such a new concept to me."

Why do you make me feel so weak...like I want to spend so much time around you...that nothing else matters.

With tender care, Hiroto cradled Data's face, lowering himself as an endless stream of tears cascaded down the brunet cheeks. This was solely his doing—just another wound inflicted by the venomous serpent. He bestowed a cascade of tender kisses upon Data's face before gracefully rising from his place. The last thing he wanted to do was leave, but the fact this was his fault only caused Hiroto to hurt worse. He stayed near the edge of the bed, as Data had reached out and grabbed for Hiroto wrist. Holding him there.

"You deserve better..believe me..I am only doing this to keep you safe. Someone like me isn't worth it. Never has been."

The weight of those words hung heavy in the air, as Hiroto grappled with the realization that uttering them aloud was a departure from his usual demeanor. Yet, deep down, he knew that this admission held a truth that had been silently brewing within him since his earliest days. Exiled by his own parents, young and vulnerable, he was thrust into a realm shrouded in mystery and uncertainty. He had traversed a treacherous path, committing countless misdeeds in order to endure the harsh realities of life. Yet, with each transgression, his heart grew colder, gradually sealing itself off from the world.

Data's gaze shifted languidly towards Hiroto, their foreheads gently pressing together. The viper's heart danced with delight and his ears quivered with anticipation upon feeling the gentle touch. The blurred blush that began to grace his cheeks only intensified, as he became acutely aware of the mingling of their breaths, a sweet and intoxicating dance.

"Data..." Hiroto muttered, his heart yearning to succumb to the irresistible urge to gently caress his lips against the captivating brunet's. He embodied the essence of sunlight, radiating a brilliance that had the power to engulf Hiroto's entire being.

[sanakiras]

TIDAL WAVE OF LOVE

PAIRING — choi seungcheol x reader

WORD COUNT — 1.3k

SYNOPSIS — even the strongest of people break sometimes. you’re used to hiding your feelings; your boyfriend is there for you when everything gets too much.

TAGS — angst, self-esteem issues, fear of failure, mc has a bit of a breakdown :(( but also a lil comfort

NOTE — cleaning out the drafts! this is wayyyy shorter than my usual works but i still felt like posting it <3 i had a very stressful semester in uni before the summer break and i came across this video on twt of coups giving wonwoo a little comforting squeeze which i found very endearing sooo that kinda became the inspo for this!

the moment he calls out a greeting to you from his kitchen, you close your eyes for a moment. it would’ve probably been wiser to have gone home instead of his place.

you greet him the same way, hoping he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.

“how was your day?” he asks you once he’s returned to the living room, giving you a kiss.

you press your lips together. “fine. nothing special.”

the first thing he notices is the lack of eye contact you make with him. you’re also being considerably less touchy with him than usual, which he finds strange.

“everything okay?”

“yeah.” you put up a smile that doesn’t appear genuine in the slightest.

he figures you could just be in a bad mood — but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

he knows for a fact that it’s not with the way you’re trying real hard to hide your face from him. you only do that when you’re upset about something.

“baby, talk to me.”

“about what?”

the response comes out snappier than you meant it to. you two have been together quite a while — so he’s come to know that you tend to get a little colder and distant before the dam breaks.

you look at him so briefly to the point where he’d miss the motion if he blinked. the expression equals a silent apology.

of course he always does his best to give you whatever space you need. that being said, he’s also come to know you get into your own head a lot, and sometimes there’s someone who needs to pull you out of it.

you bite your lip in a pathetic attempt to hold back your tears. “it’s fine, cheol, just let it go.”

“well, i care about you, sweetheart. what’s going on?” he’s persistent but gentle about it. you have a habit of keeping your feelings to yourself and hardly ever letting anything out, which leads to everything just piling up and making things worse.

“i don’t wanna talk about it.”

the lump in your throat begins to rise.

“i can see that, but you’ve clearly got something you need off your chest. are you okay?”

you don’t show anyone when something’s wrong unless they mention it first. and even when they do, you’re hesitant.

it’s an exhausting way to live, but you still choose to do so.

it’s one of the reasons why you hate crying. your glossy eyes always betray you.

then you make — what you consider to be — the mistake of looking into his big, worried eyes once more, and you just completely fall apart in front of him.

the tears begin to flow before you can even comprehend it.

“it’s just—god, i don’t even know why i’m so fucking emotional, i just—” your breath shudders, the mildly angry expression that was previously on your face now nowhere to be found, “everything’s been so stressful recently, and i’m scared i won’t pass my classes, and i feel like such a slow learner compared to everyone else—”

he’s rubbing your back, just allowing you to you let everything out. he keeps quiet.

“i feel fucking fragile. and weak. every little thing is just too much right now. i’m sorry, i feel stupid.”

he lets you cry into his chest as his arms are wrapped around you, one hand softly rubbing the back of your head. “don’t feel stupid, baby. you can vent to me, always.”

the sound of your heavy sobs hurt him, because he feels like you’re always so hard on yourself, but he’s glad you’re releasing them. it’s healthier to let it all out than to keep it in.

“it’s just like i can’t breathe, y’know?” you mutter in the crook of his neck, subconsciously wetting his shirt with your tears, “i can’t take a single break ‘cause i’ll fall behind. i’m so tired. i feel like i’m not even smart enough to take the damn course, let alone pass the fucking test—”

once he feels like you’re about to start hyperventilating, he moves back to let him look at you. “long breaths. you’re okay, just breathe with me.”

he purposefully takes long, deep breaths, counting the seconds out loud to guide you, and it works. your breathing is steadying bit by bit, sobs faltering, melting into soft hiccups and numbness.

with dried tears and a slightly hoarse voice, you let out a sigh. “i just hate feeling so incompetent. for once, i’d love to feel smart. i wanna feel like i’m able to keep up as well as everyone else does, y’know? i’m… i’m procrastinating everything and i don’t know how to change it. it all sucks.”

“it’s not easy, baby. don’t be too hard on yourself.” he presses a swift kiss to your skin, and you hold him tighter, as if he were to slip out of your hold if you didn’t.

“it’s not easy for me. it is for them.”

“there’s nothing wrong with that. would you think differently if someone in your class had to put more effort into passing the course? you wouldn’t, right? because at the end of the day, you both make it to the finish line. that’s what matters.”

deep down, you know he has a point. you put the pressure so high on yourself, yet don’t apply the same logic to your peers.

you don’t really understand why.

“and you say it’s easy for them, but i know for sure that they put more effort into it than you might think. trust me. you’ll get to where you want to be, one way or another. if you take a little longer to do that than a classmate, who cares. it’s your life. i know you’ve worked so hard—” he twirls a strand of your hair between his fingers, “even if you don’t pass that class now, it won’t be the end of the world, and there’ll be another chance. you’ll get there.”

now there’s just a few last tears running down your cheeks. “except i’m worried that i won’t.”

“you will. and once you do, you’ll be happy that you got to that point because you worked hard and deserve that success. if not today, then tomorrow. yeah?”

you take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, the last shudders of your breakdown bubbling to the surface as your heart rate finally slows back to normal. “yeah. thank you.”

to show your gratitude, you give him a hug, which he happily embraces, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“anytime. i’m here for you.”

even the strongest of people break — but they can still pick up the pieces and start over.

do your best (but maybe not sometimes) <3

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[its-time-to-write]

OOOO what about reader falling asleep on jamie’s shoulder after a late away game (maybe they come along to games on the bus) and realizing how much he loves them

Thanks for requesting! This one is a lot shorter, but I hope it’s what you’re looking for <3

silent sleepers

Rebecca lets you come to games on the team bus. Well, you say she lets you, it’s really the team’s choice. She’s just the one who signs off on it. You go for Jamie, who gives you the window seat and holds your hand the whole way there and back, joking with the lads. You don’t talk a whole lot, but you don’t really mind. Sometimes Colin or Isaac will turn around from the seat in front of you and you’ll spend an hour chatting and laughing about whatever, but for the most part you just look out the window and think.

Life is busy, so you don’t often get time to sit without having to talk. It’s nice to be here on this smelly bus, holding Jamie’s hand because you’re both relaxed. 

A voice breaks through your reverie. “Good morning, Mrs. Tartt.”

You look away from the window to see a grinning Dani turned around in his seat in front of you.

You smile. “I’m not his wife, Dani.”

“Not yet anyway, eh?” Still grinning, he pokes Jamie who gives him a cut it out motion where you can’t see. 

You don’t notice and laugh, blushing a little. You’ve only kind of talked about the future with Jamie, and you don’t really think he’s the type to settle down like that. It’s ok, you’ll take him however you can get him. You settle into your seat, ready for an hour of comparing hair products with Dani.

—

The game went well, and you’re all piled into the bus. Everyone is excited, but so, so tired. The chatter has turned to a dull murmur as you hug Jamie’s arm, watching the lights go by out the window. He’s warm and you can feel him breathe, and pretty soon you’re passed out, asleep on his shoulder.

Jamie, on the other hand, is sitting very, very still. He doesn’t want to wake you, especially because you don’t usually sleep very well. He presses a light kiss on the top of your head and you twitch, so he pulls away. He looks at you, with your eyes closed and mouth parted, muscles relaxed after being constantly tensed. Hair slightly tousled. He could sit here like this forever. 

He thinks about Dani’s teasing words earlier. Mrs. Tartt. He turns the words over in his head. Mr. and Mrs. Tartt. The Tartts. He likes how that sounds. 

God, he sounds like a fucking middle school boy, writing your name over and over in the notebook in his mind, hearts in the margins.

In all honesty, you were one of the best things that happened to him. He’s not sure how he pulled you in the same way you’re not sure how you pulled him, but he supposes it’s good that you think you’re mutually out of each other’s league. It’s a little bit sweet. 

You had some initial awkwardness about him being a famous footballer, but you worked through it. Hell, you two worked through everything. You refused to back down from a disagreement, with the mantra it’s not you against me, it’s you and me against the problem. 

You were also funny. He swore you two were the funniest people on earth once you got going. He felt like you two could do everything together. He wanted to do everything together. A thought flashes through his brain. Our kids will be fuckin’ adorable. He doesn’t dwell on the fact that his brain said will instead of could.

You let out a little sigh, bringing him back to reality.

Dani peeps over and winks at Jamie. 

“Ey, muchacho, good game today, no?”

“Yeah, yeah, good, yeah,” Jamie whispers. “Hey, Dani.”

Dani cocks his head to say what?

“Mate. You gotta play it cool, man.”

“Whatever do you mean?” Dani asks innocently. “I always play my coolest. I think it was pretty evident in the goal I scored today.”

Jamie rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about on way over here when you made that fucking Mrs. Tartt joke.”

Dani places a hand over his heart. “You mean to tell me you do not want her to be Mrs. Tartt and I have made things uncomfortable for you? Oh no, I feel awful.”

Jamie would sock him in the arm if you didn’t have a death grip on him in your sleep. He levels Dani with a stare. “You know exactly what I’m talking about muchacho. You know how hard she is to surprise and if you ruin it, I’m sending Isaac after your hair.”

Dani gasps. “You wouldn’t.”

“Fuckin’ try me,” Jamie grins. 

Dani grins back and turns back around in his seat. Jamie looks down at you one last time and uses his other hand to reach into his left pocket. The little black box he carries everywhere is safe inside. He breathes out a sigh and rests his head on top of yours. 

Mrs. Tartt. Yeah, it’s going to happen.

[izicodes]

Hi, Hello! It’s me, Izzy and I am back from a very long break!

For those who don’t know who I am and just saw my post, I’m Isabelle but Izzy for short (and even shorter, Izi)! I run a Codeblr blog which I post about anything coding! I try to strictly only talk about coding, programming and computer science, but frankly, I ramble on about something else eventually! Hope you’re doing well!

Now, I know I said I wouldn't come back, but that was because I suddenly became stuck on what to post about and wanted to give myself a break and figure out how to do things on my blog and my online presence in general!

So, in summary, I am back from my break very inspired and eager to help more people get into programming / get better at programming! I will go on to talk about exactly what I have been doing during my break later on in this post, but wanted to say thank you to everyone who messaged me throughout the months and saw how I was! Very thought and extra blessings from God to you, please!

Working at my new-but-not-so-new job!

Yes! So, obviously, as a 21st Century girlie, I am working! Still at the music company that I started back in January! Now that I am 8 months into the job, I feel now I am fully immersed in the job and the projects and not feeling like an outsider! I went on multiple out-the-office events with the whole company and it was nice! Some I couldn’t attend because of religious reasons, but I still had fun! I got to meet a lot more girlies at my office that I don’t usually talk to (because I’m still the only girl in the frontend engineering team but there is a backend girlie but we don’t work close together so… distance)! Cheatingly, I am always ticking the box of “code every day”! However, work has made me do more UI/UX designing + frontend programming websites which I love! Always wanted to be both and not just one or the other! We are allowed to have 2 job titles, remember? (But make sure the salary is in accordance, of course, ~)

Learning new technologies! (for fun, obviously)

By “for fun” I mean personal reasons, the technologies I learnt on a whim were not for work but because I needed to learn them for personal projects I wanted to learn! I stress again; it’s more fun to learn something because you want to and not because you have to! So, I have been learning how to create desktop applications using ElectronJS and ReactJS (React has become my best friend!). Me now compared to me when I started my break is 10x smarter I feel like! My brain has definitely expanded somewhere…!

Latest project?!

Inspired by study productivity apps and wanting to track my Korean language progress, I am making a desktop application called ‘eStudySpace’! It would be my own personal app, but I want to see if I can actually pull something like this off! Right now I have not coded anything because I want to work on the design aspect first (which is smarter and a time saver in the future), so I have been on Figma for the last 2 weeks coming up with designs!

(It looks bad, I know this is like idea no.3287368 ugh...)

Miscs

I have been learning Korean for 4 months now. 

I have plans to move to a South-Eastern country, The Philippines? Singapore? Unsure!

I do have plans to switch to a new career but that’s more like 5 years into the future! But right now, I’m happy where I am at!

[koji-haru]

You might have answered this question before but what does your Michael look like? :0

Does he have the same white skin Lucifer does and same hair color? Or is his hair more golden or darker? How similar is he to Lucifer or his siblings?

How tall is he and what does he wear?

AAAA I’m so sorry but I really wanna know!!! :’)

Aah, my lack of character description really is showing huh? (Θ︹Θ)ს

I've based my Michael off of those classic/romantic depictions of angels in art. He does have the same white skin as Lucifer, and he also has blonde hair, though it's more like a pale gold. His hair is wavy and a little long stopping just above his shoulders.

Unlike Lucifer, he doesn't have those red cheeks. Instead, he's got little gold stars under his eyes, almost like freckles! And then for eye colour, he's got like a cool, dark blue eyes that can seem rather intimidating in a way that a very deep ocean is kinda scary.

Michael is taller than Lucifer, though still shorter than Adam. I'm not sure how tall yet, but he's like not too short when compared to Adam.

I also want to add that his wings are blue-white. Like, they start as dark blue at the base and then fades to white at tips. So the middle parts of his wings are different shades of blue. Somewhat reminiscent of a morning sky!

And for clothes... At the beginning of time, he wore simple robes, like most angels did. His robes were white, and dark blue at the hems with some gold. During more modern times, he often wears suits, usually the 3 piece type, and he prefers checked navy-coloured ones. He does have a set of armour for when it's needed (he hopes never). I don't know how to explain it, but think of blue robes, silver plates with gold lining.

As for how similar he is to Lucifer. At first glance, they seem like the total opposite. Lucifer is playful and likes to pull pranks on others and push his limits, while Michael seem to be Lucifer's leash; ready to pull him back so that he doesn't get into too much trouble. Now this might seem weird, but like imagine walking your dog. They're messy, they're often distracted by their surroundings and they like to play around. It can be tiring, but it's also fun for you, right? That's kinda like how I'd describe Michael and Lucifer's relationship. He is definitely the more responsible brother, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy some of Lucifer’s antics. He likes fun too, but keeps things tame, and simple. While Lucifer is a big dreamer, Michael often finds joy in simple things that others might find lame or boring. Like in my time travel AU, despite being absolutely shit at it, Michael does enjoy learning how to cook. He doesn't need to cook since he doesn't really need to eat, but it's a fun new thing for him, so he does anyway. He often only looks at the bigger picture, and that's why when a simple almost irrelevant detail catches his attention, he latches onto it. It's like his little treat for himself. I can't really speak much on the others angels (or if I'd even make them siblings, I just haven't thought about it), but I can say one thing. Because Michael isn't really good at socialising (he just gives off a mean vibe), Heaven was often a little isolating for him. And the way he often prioritises his work doesn't help either. So when Lucifer got kicked out of Heaven, it only got worse. It's not like the other angels dislike him or ignore him, it's just that he could never seem to get close enough to them to call them friends. Like at most, they'll just have casual conversations, but nothing personal. His sterness puts off a lot of people, but really, he could be quite the softie! Well, as long as it's not something too terrible, he's pretty forgiving. I read somewhere that he's the weigher of souls during the last judgement, so that's kinda scary - like he determines your final fate. BUT! Before that, I also read that he also has a kind of angel of death role. At the time of someone's death, he would be there to give that person one last chance to repent and redeem themselves so that they wouldn't go to hell. So like yeah, my Michael is stern, can be scary, but overall is fair and nice enough.

Another thing I wanna add. Overall, I like to colour theme my Michael around, whites, golds and shades of blue, from dark to baby blue. Quite like a clear blue sky on a sunny day. (Now fallen angel Michael on my swap au on the other hand...)

Also, don't be sorry for asking! I'm very happy that you're interested!!

[Omg, I didn't realise I rambled that much...]

[unluckiestmember]

Chainsaw Man x Short/Shy! Reader

Characters: Aki Hayakawa, Angel Devil, Kishibe, Denji and Yoshida Hirofumi

Tags: Fluff, teasing, established relationships, fluff, tolerance training, did I mention fluff?

Warnings: None. SFW.

A/N: It should have not taken me this long to make this. *slaps self on the wrist*. One of my favorites!

Aki Hayakawa

“Huh? I was laughing? Sorry. I just realized something about how short you are?… I’m not making fun of you. It’s just- Nevermind.”

Aki finds you to be kind of cute, but he would never say that in public, he has a reputation to keep of course. One thing he really loves about you is how short you are compared to him, finding it cute when you look up at him to ask questions or when you want a kiss.

He also loves how shy you can be, though sometimes he would prefer it if you weren’t so careful with what you want to say or do. At home, your nature was perfectly fine, but at work? He could tell it was something that could get you killed or force you to partake in missions you shouldn’t be participating in.

Aki can put up a front, but everyone knows that he cares deeply about you even if he doesn’t display PDA as much compared to his colleagues. Even Himeno makes fun of the fact that he’s so in love with you! All in all, he thinks you are the cutest and sweetest thing he’s ever met. But he won’t say that out loud. Nope. Never… But behind closed doors-

Angel Devil

“Wanna get ice cream after this mission?… Huh? Speak up. I can’t hear you… Still can’t hear you.”

Angel Devil loves your shy nature, but he’s also someone who wants you to grow out of it. He feels that due to you being so bashful you could be taken advantage of by the Public Safety, including Makima. And if it isn’t by your coworkers, it will definitely be by the world around you. So he loves to ask you questions and hear you give him an answer loud and proud, even if that is a rarity.

When he isn’t trying to gracefully mold you out of love, Angel finds your height to be a bit comforting due to being one of the shortest males in his group of colleagues. He doesn’t make fun of your height or is the kind of person to say you’re cute when you get mad because of your figure. Instead, he treats you with a higher respect compared to everyone in Public Safety, viewing you not just as his lover and co-worker, but also as his friend.

Outside of your personality possibly being a target for foes, Angel Devil loves everything about you.

Kishibe

“… Yeah. I’m gonna keep you.”

Kishibe is a bit of a weird man, usually keeping his emotions on lockdown and focusing mainly on his missions at hand in Public Safety. He seems like the kind of man who doesn’t have time for romance and lives deeply in the past, meaning his heart might still be hung on Quanxi.

But actually? He’s a bit of a sweetheart.

Though he’s a man of action, not a man of words. He doesn’t put his relationship with you in front of the world unless he feels threatened by someone in his Division. But even then, he knows how you can be around people and even himself, so he treads lightly in hopes of not scaring you off. It doesn’t make it any better that you are significantly shorter than him. So he just feels himself taken aback by your height difference and sometimes sees you not as a toy, but a plush that should be protected and kept at all costs.

Even if his communication skills could use a bit of tweaking along with his advances, he adores you and wants to protect you no matter what.

Denji

“Hey, uh, wanna cuddle again?… No, work was fine, I just uh, wanna hold you again. I like how I can easily wrap my arms around you and how you fit against me and… Stuff.”

Short, tall, loud or quiet, Denji does not give a damn as long as he’s getting some love! And boy do you give him love!

He’s like a big puppy when it comes to you, loving you in any way shape or form. He adores how bashful you are, even if sometimes it makes him think he’s said or done something wrong. It doesn’t make it better that when you are affectionate with him, he just. Melts. He stares at you like you are the creator of the world around him, like a divine entity that must be loved and respected for eternity.

When it comes to being short, Denji finds this to be his favorite trait about you since he can easily do things he’s seen in movies, tv and manga he wants to try out on you. He’ll twirl you around when he’s happy. He’ll help you reach for objects to grab without ridiculing you. He’ll bend down eagerly to kiss you on your lips. And he will definitely hold you so close and tight to his body when you sleep together.

You are so precious to him. Words just can’t describe how much he loves you…

Yoshida Hirofumi

“Can I get a kiss?… You missed… Oh, you missed again. Missed. Hey, what’s going on with your aim?”

Yoshida can be a bit of a goofball dating you. He thinks you are cute as a shy soft bean in his eyes, but he will try to push you out of your comfort zone gently with his actions.

He can be playful, pushing you to initiate some moments between you two and even forcing you to speak up. But trust me when I say he’s not just getting off to you having to take the first step. If he wants to hold and kiss you and partake in cute activities with you, he will.

Though he can be a comedian of sorts, he makes sure that you are safe away from his job. He knows because of your personality that if you were to get in the middle of his work you could get hurt. And if you ever got hurt? He wouldn’t know what to do with himself… As his lover, you mean so much to him even if he gives off casual dating energy. Just ask him. And he’ll tell you how special you are.

He loves you. Don’t forget that.

Chainsaw Man requests are currently open! :D

Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! <3

[icysnails]

I just learned that Welt is likely 6'3 and as a small individual I'm slightly terrified but also... Ugh the thought of him leaning down for a kiss has me so whipped... Any ideas for that my friend? 👀

Hello!! A little while ago I was looking over the heights for Honkai characters and I realized that Welt and like half of the Hoyoverse men are all so tall it's unbelievable (╥﹏╥)

I’m also a small individual so I always imagine Welt bending down for pretty much any kind of kisses/hugs- Welt seems so sweet and I feel he would be extra sweet about this (˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) ✧ 

I hope you enjoy and I hope you have a fabulous day!!

Welt Kissing a Short!Reader 

Warnings: Kissing, height difference/reader is shorter than welt

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Welt x gn!reader

Word count: 800

Welt is the oldest resident of the Astral Express and is also the calmest of the other members. He acts as a mediator between his friends, often lending Himeko and Pom Pom a hand when managing the express and making sure Dan Heng gets a break from March’s excitement. He’s a deeply respectful man who holds the people he cares about close to his heart and wants everyone to stay safe and content above all else. He cherishes you, and his main priority has become your protection and happiness. 

So, he wouldn’t be much of a tease when it comes to your height. Welt loves every part of you and he wouldn’t want to make fun of you for anything, even if you explicitly said you were fine with it. He doesn’t make a point of bringing it up or rubbing the height difference in your face, beyond casually mentioning it in conversation if the situation calls for it. He also knows that he is incredibly tall himself, and that pretty much everyone is small compared to him. That doesn’t mean he fully ignores it though- secretly, he thinks your height difference is adorable. 

His height and strength grant him the ability to scoop you up in his arms to hug you or carry you wherever you need to go. He does this more often than one might think, but you don’t mind. But above all else, he loves kissing you. To him, it’s like a promise of love and protection, and the look in his eyes shows that he’d give you the entire universe if you asked for it. It may sound old fashioned, but there’s just something extra romantic about it for him, something that leaves him with flushed cheeks, dilated pupils, and a pounding heart. 

Often, these kisses take place on the express or away from other people. But if you want one when you’re out on a mission, he’ll get more flushed and decomposed than usual, but will still happily oblige. In truth, he's just happy that he gets to kiss you at all since you’re undoubtedly his favorite person in the entire galaxy.

Welt can’t keep his eyes off you.

He's been trying to focus on stargazing out of the Express’ expansive windows, but even the stars couldn’t stop his mind from wandering back to you.

It doesn’t help that you’re standing next to him, marveling at the luminary masterpieces that dot the void of the galaxy, entirely unaware of his staring. Your eyes are full of light and hope, lips parted slightly as the light of the stars reflects in your irises. Welt’s heart swells at the sight- it always does whenever he sees you happy. A loving smile blooms on his lips as takes a small step closer to you, discreetly taking your hand in his. 

His fingers gently lace with your own and the warmth of his skin envelops your palm. Your attention on the vast constellations is broken then, and your awestruck gaze meets his. You return his smile and squeeze his hand comfortingly, heat rising up your neck from how gently he’s looking at you. He cups the side of your face, a deep chuckle vibrating through his chest as he bends over slightly so he’s level with your eyes. He leans in and captures your lips with his, cradling the back of your head to pull you closer, hands light and careful on your body as if you’re made of porcelain. 

His eyes remain dazed and half-lidded while yours flutter shut, neck straining slightly as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. When you break away, Welt smiles, his cheeks heated and red as you open your eyes and gaze lovingly at him. He pulls you against him affectionately, turning back to look at the stars. You close your eyes again out of comfort as his hand rests on your waist, wrapping your arms around his torso and leaning into him in response. He leans down again to press a kiss to the top of your head, palm soothingly running up and down your side. 

No, Welt doesn’t mind leaning down at all, not if it means he gets to kiss you. Your touch means more to him than the blessings of any Aeon, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do to feel your lips on his once more. When you’re on missions and apart for long periods of time, Welt wallows in the memories of your kisses, desperately wanting to bend over and pull you close and crash his lips onto yours, even if he knows it’s impossible due to your absence.

He knows you’ll come back though, you always do. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

And when you do, he knows he’ll have the chance to kiss you, making his heart and soul feel complete again.

[hurlingdown]

hi down!!! love the new theme, bet he'd eat ass so good

i just wanted to share you about a new thought i had. i only considered katakuri because he's too hot to forget, though i do believe any outrageously tall op characters fit the scene, maybe rosinante or doflamingo, even luffy's grandpa (god, what would marine pussy taste like? maybe a little salty)

i just want to shrink him. imagine the cautiousness he has to display because he turned maybe a good 10-12 inches tall. he's still that bulky, long-legged man, just... 12 inches tall now.

oh and you'd enjoy this time. maybe you were taller than him so now he's a little piece of a puzzle for you or maybe you were so incredibly shorter than him that the state he is now just makes you feel so... overpowering. he'd grumble about how problematic it was but he got some time off to rest, not such a bad thing.

his small stature is honestly incomparable to even your tongue. you could hold him in one hand and your tongue could reach his stomach. his mochi mochi body would take it so well, too, so lenient and pliable. his squirts are just little splashes of water to your face and he would grip your finger to hold on to something.

oh, and what if he wanted to pleasure your cock? maybe he is just as tall as your hard cock and he'd try his damndest to give you a good handjob. he would wrap his entire body, hugging your cock, and squatting. precum would lather all over his body and smear across his face. maybe he'd be teary because it's so minimal compared to how he would usually pleasure you but god, it's a crime to have anyone else watch this. his powers make him more pliant to take your tip in his mouth but even then, its somehow difficult.

he'd take your fingers so well but maybe he would cry about it in your hands. god, he wants your cock in him. he wants you to cum in him, like you usually do. he wants to take it whole like he usually does. he can't cum the way he always does if its not with you inside him.

would you help him take some form of your cock to help with his needs or would you tease him a little more, watch him tear up a little more? ill lovingly take both circumstances.

it may be unfamiliar to consider sizing someone down as a fetish but it does have some resounding effects for those one piece characters that 20 feet tall or something. imagine making kaido take your fingers because he's too small, you know?

thats it! hope you have a good day, stay safe :)

- oath anon

oath anon... this is doing wonders to my size kink.

one thick finger would already be too much for his tight cunt. watch him tremble and whine as he tries to ride it like a cock, hips bucking and squeezing around it, not even managing to work himself up and down a handful of times before he gets overwhelmed by how perfectly it's rubbing against his sweet spot. he'd just sit on it instead, letting out little hics as he grinds back and forth, the friction stimulating him even further. he'd be trying so hard to cum, but it's just not the same without you pounding him into the sheets like you usually do. ♡

[the-guilty-writer]

No Matter What

Request (from anon): hiii if its not too much trouble could you do Reid x daughter reader where she had BPD and she has a anger breakdown??

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Summary: Spencer helps his daughter with BPD through an anger breakdown.

A/N: Huge thank you to @huffufflejoy for beta/sensitivity reading and advising me on this work. Your help is greatly appreciated! Now for my usual disclaimer before my pieces that heavily involve any neurodivergent topic: I try my best to potray mental illness in the most accurate yet sensitive way possible. Please let me know if you have concerns or issues with my work. It's important to note that everyone experiences mental illness in different ways and this may not be indicative of the experience of everyone with BPD.

CW: Reader has BPD, anger breakdown, talks of schizophrenia, self-loathing, small amount of physical violence, reader is shorter than Spencer

---

Spencer had learned long before you were born that understanding from knowledge and understanding from experiencing were two different things.

No matter how much he had read about schizophrenia, he could never truly understand what his mom was experiencing. No matter how much he'd read about being a dad, it did not prepare him for actually being one. And no matter how many people he talked to, articles he read, or data he went through, he would never truly understand what it was like for you to live with BPD.

At first, his research led him to believe that he might be able to understand some of the experience. After his dad leaving him at such a young age, Elle's resignation, Gideon leaving with nothing but a letter to say goodbye, and Emily's fake death, Spencer always had an underlying concern that the people in his life were going to leave.

But to him it was just that- an underlying concern. Like how he prefered paper over computers, but wasn't paranoid about it like his mother had been during an episode in which she threw the TV out of the house. Or how he might tell someone "My daughter is my whole world", but if he didn't hear from you for a day his whole world didn't seem to fall apart.

Nothing about your experience would ever be comparable to his. All he could do was try to understand.

Spencer had just woken up when he heard the shattering. He got out of bed, trying not to get his limbs tangled in the sheets, but still moving faster than he usually did at 7 AM. When he threw his bedroom door open, he took in the sight before him. His genius brain tryed it's best to calculate what move to make next.

You were standing in the small kitchen, surrounded by pieces of porcelain. White knuckles were threaded through your hair, threatening to pull the strands out by the root. A look of distress was plastered on your face as your chest heaved. Spencer only hoped that he'd gotten here before the anger turned into a blackout.

"(Y/N), Sweetie," Spencer cooed. He walked toward you, careful to avoid the broken bowl. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" Your voice was shrill in your exasperatedly irritable state. "I- I dropped the bowl and it broke, and now I can't make cupcakes for Henry, and I broke the bowl- I'm so sorry-"

Spencer tried to change the subject in an effort to calm you. "You were going to hang out with Henry today?"

"No, of course no. Why else would I be trying to make him cupcakes?" You snarled at your dad with degrading sarcasm. "All my other friends hate me and now he probably will now too and- and the bowl!"

It wasn't an unusual thing for you to say. Keeping surface-level friendships alive could be difficult with BPD. People didn't understand where the swing of emotions came from, and how you couldn't control the things you said when the mental bomb went off. They didn't understand why you would share a hobby with them, and then a week later, drop it completely. Even when you explained BPD, used your coping skills, and tried your hardest, it was difficult just to exist in society.

Henry made it easier. The two of you had been friends since you were small children. He took his time to understand you. He could calm your nerves, help you cope, give you reassurance, set healthy boundaries.

Still, your dad was you favorite person; your safe place. Spencer made you feel secure in a way that no one else could. It didn't matter how high you flew or how hard you fell, he was the constant presence in your life that you needed. That's why the underlying fear of losing him could make you spiral.

"It's broken! It's broken and I'm broken!" The sarcasm slipped away behind your anger.

"You're not broken," Spencer cooed.

"Yes I am!" You screamed at him. Tears of fury streamed down your face. The look in your eyes was enough to tell your dad that you were close to a breakdown, and he couldn't help but look nervously at the shards still littered on the ground.

Spencer took a risk, walking forward. He got to you in three carefully calculated strides.

"Come here," he whispered, though you were only inches apart and his arms were almost all the way around you.

"No, no-" you muttered. Your eyes were shut tight, arms pulled to your chest as if they were a shield over your heart.

Spencer wrapped you in a hug against your wishes, only pulling you tigher when your fists came towards his chest. Your muttering and sobbing and squirming continued as he held you as tightly as he could.

"I love you."

"I'm telling the truth."

"I'm not leaving you."

"You're worthy."

"I will always be here."

Spencer didn't know if the words actually helped, but he liked to think they did. As the pendulum of emotion began to fall and you stopped fighting in his arms, the only sound in the kitchen became the mantras he whispered and your heavy breathing.

"I-I'm sorry, dad," your words were barely desipherable between dry sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean- I'm so sorry. Please-"

"It's okay." Spencer kept his voice calm, soothing, reassuring. "It's only a bowl."

"I broke it and I got so-" you choked out the words as if saying them was physically painful.

Spencer had to remind himself that it was. Just like the way a panic attack could make someone's heart race or their palms sweat, the humiliation of being unable to control your emotions made your throat close. He wished it didn't.

"It's all my fault- I'm sorry."

Spencer looked down at your puffy face. Your lip trembled with anxiety. Salt stained cheeks rested in his palms. In the glassy look of your eyes he could see his own reflection, his own expression. It matched exactly how he felt; concern for you that came from pure love. He only wished you'd see that there was nothing in this world that could make him leave you willfully. There was nothing in this world that could take that love.

"I promise it's okay," he kept his voice quiet. "Can we clean it up together?"

You nodded.

"I'll be here so you're safe," he reassured you. But it was also for himself.

You nodded again.

"Okay." He gently let go of your face. "Let's clean up."

Together, the two of you carefully swept up the pieces of procelain. It took no more than two minutes to do, but Spencer couldn't help but spew a few interesting facts. They made you feel better, more relaxed.

"In Japan they use a technique called kintsugi to repair pottery," he explained. "Craftsmen take the broken bits and mend them together with gold."

The both of you rose to your feet, you with a broom and Spencer with the dustpan. "It actually makes the object stronger and more beautiful." He disposed of the broken bowl in the trash.

"Is this your way of telling me that every time I break I get stronger and more beuatiful?" you asked. It wasn't snarky or sarcastic- it was exhausted. "Because I don't feel that way."

Your dad took the broom from you, putting it back in the small storage closet. "Not quite," he said, then turned. "Because a lot of people believe the practice rose from the philosophy of wabi-sabi, which encourages people to look for and appreciate imperfection."

You blinked at him. "I'm confused."

He wrapped you in a hug. "It's my way of telling you that I'm not going anywhere. It doesn't matter to me how strong you are or how beautiful you are- how perfect or imperfect. I'm always going to be here, and I'm always going to love you, no matter what."

[totaldramafan120]

Tokyo Revengers Dating Headcannons

Fluff🤍

Includes: Pehyan, Pahchin, Mitsuya, Muto, Hanma, and Hakkai

PEHYAN

This man is so dumb but loves you more than anything.

When he goes to hang out with Pahchin, he brings you with him.

When you’re sad, expect Pehyan to come into your room with snacks.

Bro will give you the best cuddles.

He’s usually mean but he has a soft spot for you (obviously cuz ur his gf/bf)

Thinks you’re the most beautiful girl/boy in the world.

He thinks you’re perfect.

He would never judge you.

No matter if you’re really skinny, chubby, or anything, he still loves you for who you are (all body types are beautiful <3)

PAHCHIN

He will spend time with you whenever he can.

While he was in prison, he would send letters to you of saying how much he loves you and misses you.

When he gets released from prison, he comes over to your house to surprise you.

Mans was so happy to see you😭❤️

Cutest couple ever.

Y’all will have the cutest date locations (picnic, restaurant, stargazing, etc.)

Just know, HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE <3

MITSUYA

He will sew clothes for you.

This man is the sweetest ever.

LITERALLY HUSBAND MATERIAL

You will get treated like a Queen/king, trust me

He protects you with his life.

His sisters love you.

If you’re clumsy, man will catch you every time you fall.

He would 100% teach you how to sew and would enjoy every second of it.

MUTO

This man is so quiet but he still loves you.

Will cuddle you.

He’s so tall compared to you and he thinks it’s adorable that you’re shorter than him.

Will compliment you on anything.

Thinks you’re the sweetest, funniest, and prettiest girl/boy in the world.

Will answer your texts/calls right away if he isn’t busy with gang work.

Will sacrifice his life for you.

You make him smile all the time.

HANMA

This dude constantly be flirting, you can’t change my mind.

If anyone dares to hurt you, well….they’ll be in the hospital for a while.

Will give you so many hugs and kisses.

If you guys are on a date, he always has an arm around your waist.

If any perverts mess with you, he’ll k!ll them.

He’s overprotective and loves you so much.

Hangs out with you and Kisaki.

HAKKAI

Y’all know that he would be shy around you.

But this man loves you so much.

Blushes when you compliment him.

He’s the sweetest to you.

Gives the best hugs.

You’re his entire world <3

Sorry I’ve never wrote head cannons before, I hope you love them <3

[lovetaroandtaemin]

Kinktober 2024

Day 5: Lingerie

Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul x Reader

Word count: 752

THIS FIC IS NSFW, MINORS DNI!!!

Warnings: A little bit of dry humping, unprotected sex, dirty talk, Ten gets a little bit rough, a little bit of biting. If you think I missed a warning, let me know!

A/N: This one is on the shorter side compared to what else I've written so far, but I still hope y'all like it! If you would like to be added to my Kinktober taglist, you can send an ask, send a dm, or comment on any of my Kinktober-related posts with the username that you'd like tagged. Happy reading!

Taglist: @unlikelysublimekryptonite

Fic is under the cut.

It was an ordinary day, except for one thing. Your boyfriend Ten was returning home from a two-month tour. Since you had missed him so much while he was gone, you decided to do something special to celebrate. You decided to go shopping for lingerie. It was something that you had considered doing before, but you wanted to wait for a special occasion so that you had an excuse to get all dolled up. You figured that his return from touring was a special enough occasion, so off you went.

When Ten walked through the door of your apartment, he had no way of knowing what would be waiting for him in your bedroom. So, the sight of you in a black lacy bra, matching panties, and a sheer purple robe made him stop in his tracks. When the two of you made eye contact, he smirked and said, “What’s all this, baby?”

“I just wanted to dress up for you,” you replied. “I’ve missed you so much lately, I wanted to do something special to celebrate you coming home.”

“Baby, I love you, but I really hope that this wasn’t expensive because it is taking every ounce of self-control I have to not rip it off of you.”

“Why the self-control, honey?”

When you called Ten “honey,” he snapped. It drove him crazy every time you did, and you knew that. Before you could process what happened, you were pinned to your bed and his mouth was on your neck. You moaned when you finally felt his lips on you, and it drove Ten even crazier. Without even meaning to, he started to move his hips against yours.

“Fuck, baby, I need to be inside you,” he said with a moan, “Please?”

“Fuck me, honey.”

That was all Ten needed to hear to let you up just long enough to take your panties off and pin you down again. He was insistent that the bra and robe stay on when he fucked you. He slowly lined the tip of his cock up with your pussy and gently pushed his hips forward, moaning as he felt your walls around him.

Ten was still for a moment, giving you time to adjust. Once you gave him the “okay” to start moving, however, he showed no mercy. He had a lot of pent-up sexual frustration due to being away from you for months on end. He also loved the way the bra you were wearing made your tits look when they bounced, which gave him another reason to fuck you harder than he usually did.

The way Ten pounded into you drove you crazy, and it made you consider wearing lingerie more often. He was typically hesitant to be rough with you, but something about what you wore made him throw restraint out the window. You loved it, and if his moans as he fucked you were anything to go by, he loved it too.

“Feels so good, honey,” you moaned, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby,” he said before he kissed you. You kissed him back, and it only slightly muffled the noises coming from both of you. Between the moans that fell from your lips, your bed creaking, and the headboard occasionally hitting the wall, your neighbors could definitely hear the two of you. Neither of you could find it in yourselves to care, though.

“I’m close, honey,” you practically screamed as you started to rub your clit.

“Cum for me baby, I wanna feel you cum around my cock.”

It didn’t take long for you to cum after that, a strangled sob falling from your lips as you did. Your orgasm brought your boyfriend’s even closer. He always wanted to last as long as possible when he fucked you, but he didn’t know how much longer he could. A few minutes later he pulled out, his cum making a mess all over your brand-new bra.

As the two of you caught your breath, you looked up at him and smiled. When the two of you made eye contact, he said, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“Don’t call me that unless you want a round two.”

“And what if I do, honey?” you asked with a laugh. When you saw the look of hunger in your boyfriend’s eyes, you realized it was going to be a very long night. You weren’t one to complain, though. You were just as insatiable as he was.

Thank you for reading! If you'd like to see what else I've written so far and the rest of what's planned, you can find my Kinktober masterlist here. If you'd like to read one of my non-Kinktober works, you can find my general masterlist here. If you'd like to see what I'm going to be working on once Kinktober is over, you can find my upcoming works here. If none of that interests you, or there's something specific you'd like to see, send a request via asks or dms!

Thank you again for reading, happy spooky season!

[helloalycia]

the Clarks [four] // alicia clark

summary: the last thing you expect is for the world to basically end, but you're grateful you have the Clarks by your side as it does.

warning/s: mentions of the dead, blood, death and drug withdrawals.

author's note: this chapter was originally one super long one so i split into two short ones, hence why this is a little on the shorter end compared to others. Hope you like it nonetheless! one part left after this 🥰

one / two / three / five / masterlist / wattpad

A few hours later, as the sun was setting, my mum finally made it home in one piece. As soon as I saw her car pulling in the driveway from the Clarks front window, I was about to go and check on her per Madison's request, but Madison beat me to it and insisted she come with me.

"Okay...," I agreed with confusion. "But she'll be fine. She wasn't sick this morning and I doubt she's suddenly caught a cold between then and now."

Madison was unconvinced but joined my side nonetheless, but not without casting a final glance at Alicia, saying, "Don't leave the house. We won't be long."

Alicia rolled her eyes but nodded, joining her brother on the couch. Madison and I left for my house, myself letting her in and hoping my mum wouldn't be in a mood and start berating me or, even worse, Madison.

"Mum? You home?" I called out, closing the front door and going into the living-area. "Mum–?"

"Will you keep it down!" her familiar voice hissed from the couch, and Madison and I stopped when we saw her laying across it, head under a cushion. "I'm trying to sleep here!"

I sighed, rolling my eyes and shooting Madison an 'I told you so' look. "Okay, sorry. I'm heading over to the Clark's house."

"Whatever."

Remembering why I hated being here, I dragged Madison back out the front door and we walked back to hers.

"See?" I said knowingly. "Nothing out the ordinary. Still as hostile as usual."

Madison glanced back at my house. "Hmm, yeah... d'you wanna stay at ours tonight? I'm sure Alicia would appreciate the help with Nick."

"You sure it won't be too much with Travis and his family coming around?"

She shook her head, patting me on the back as she motioned for me to go through the front door. "Of course not. There's always room for you here, you know that."

I smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Madison."

When we returned to the living room, Nick was trying to listen to the radio as Alicia was distracted by her phone, probably messaging Matt. When she saw us returning, she looked back to us both.

"How's your mum?" she asked, earning Nick's attention, the two of them waiting.

"Still hates me," I joked, making Madison tut disapprovingly, and I was forced to change my comment. "Sorry. I meant, she's still her usual tired self after a long day of work. Happy now?"

Madison sighed and headed for the kitchen as Nick and Alicia gave me sympathetic glances, but I shrugged them off and sat on the armchair. Alicia put on the TV and we put on the news, per Nick's request, confused at all the chaos happening in the city with some protests. We didn't get to watch it long enough to understand the issue however, as the electricity suddenly cut off, leaving us in the bare bones of light of dusk coming through the windows.

"Kids? You okay?" Madison called out from the kitchen, and we yelled in confirmation. Not long later, the blonde returned with candles and matches. "Help me light these."

As we discussed why the power had suddenly gone out, Nick started mumbling about the power grid and losing control and a bunch of other nonsense that Alicia and I exchanged looks at. Maybe he was still a little delusional from his withdrawal, who knew?

After we finished lighting and spreading out the candles, we all heard a high-pitched scream from outside, startling everyone and making us run to the front window to see what was happening. My own eyes widened when I saw the neighbours across the road running as someone chased them, attacking them with a weapon of some sort. There was blood covering their clothes and it didn't look good.

"Mum, we have to do something!" Alicia exclaimed, before tugging my arm to the door.

"No! You can't go out there!" Nick shouted, and Madison jumped in front of us both before we could leave.

"Your brother's right, it's too dangerous!" she said sternly.

I looked at her with disbelief. "Madison, they need help, we can't just sit and–"

"Nobody leaves this house, understood?!" she ordered, and I breathed out with surprise. She looked to Nick, saying, "Lock the windows and doors now, son."

I blinked, glancing at the window. "I have to go back home. Mum's alone and–"

"Is everything locked up?" Madison asked, sensing my concerns. "Doors? Windows?"

I nodded, almost sure. "I think so. Unless she opened something before she passed out. But she doesn't usually–"

"Then she'll be okay," Madison said with certainty. "It's not safe out there, Y/N. Stay here, okay? Just until Travis gets back and then we'll check on your mum together."

I wasn't convinced, but it definitively wasn't safe out there and I wasn't sure what else to do. Mum would be fine, right?

"Stay here," Alicia said after a moment, taking my hand and earning my attention. "I'll come with you later."

If I wasn't convinced before, I certainly was now. Anything Alicia asked, I was sure I'd do – this included. So, with a reluctant sigh, I nodded and gave in.

How was I supposed to know what this 'sickness' was? How was I supposed to know that the news and the neighbours and the electricity going out were all signs for what would happen?

After everything went wrong that night, the neighbours changing right before our eyes, Travis and his family returning, looking like they'd seen a ghost, Alicia almost dying... I dreaded what that could mean for my mother.

It wasn't until I raced to the living-area with my heart in my throat when I saw my mum snarling at the wall, her back facing me. It should have been obvious what was wrong, especially after what I'd seen moments before, but I refused to believe it.

"Mum?" I asked nervously, taking a step forward. "You okay?"

Her snarling quietened as she paused, tilting her head, then she turned around and I saw the worst. Her jaw was slacken, bloody and spit around her lips, eyes grey and blank, skin rough... she looked dead, just like the others, and tears burned my lids.

"Y/N, stay away from her!" Madison exclaimed, tugging me back before my mum could grab me with her outreached fingers.

Travis rushed in behind us with the shotgun he used to stop the neighbour with earlier and pointed it directly at my mum.

"Wait, just wait–" I tried to make them stop, hoping I could figure out something else. Maybe she wasn't one of them? Maybe it was reversible?

"Y/N, honey, we gotta go," Madison said, trying to pull me back, but I fought against her.

"Just wait! She might be okay! She might–!"

"Maddie, get her out of here!" Travis warned, moving backwards as my mum approached him.

"Y/N, come on!" Madison shouted, grabbing my hand and pulling me out the front door.

"Just wait! Please, just–!"

BANG.

She was my mother. A bad one who probably hated my very existence, but she was still my mother and she didn't deserve to die like this.

"We need to go back inside, sweetie," Madison said softly, pulling me towards her for a hug, but I could barely hear her, the sound of the shotgun repeating in my mind.

The last ever sight of my mum was an undead, bloody mess and I wasn't sure I could ever un-see it.

19 years old — 21 days later...

We'd found some abandoned-looking hotel to take refuge in for the moment – Madison, Alicia and I, along with Strand and Ofelia, some friends we'd made whilst escaping the city. Everything had gone so horribly wrong these past few days, with the Abigail being taken, Travis leaving to find Chris who'd gone on the run after trying to kill Madison and Alicia, and Nick choosing to leave his family altogether.

The last one was the one I couldn't quite understand. How could he choose to leave his family in the middle of an apocalypse? You don't just leave family behind, especially not now, not when surviving is impossible without them. It hurt, even more when he asked me to come with him, but how could I? How could I just leave Madison and Alicia?

I was pissed off and hurt to say the least. He should have been better to them, no matter what. And it had clearly affected Alicia more than she was letting on.

Madison and Strand were having a look downstairs in the hotel to make sure there were no infected. Meanwhile, Ofelia, Alicia and I took to the upstairs to check the hotel rooms. As Ofelia wandered off down the hall, I used this as my chance to check in with Alicia.

"Hey," I said quietly, falling into step with her. She glanced at me, expressionless, so I continued, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

I tried to read how she was feeling, searching her eyes for something beyond this feigned nonchalant persona she had, but there was nothing. "Nick."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she said, "He chose to leave. I can't change that."

I tilted my head slightly. "I know that, but it's still shitty and he shouldn't have done it."

She released a deep breath as she looked down, avoiding my eyes. I knew her well enough to know that she cared a lot for him, even if she tried to pretend she didn't.

"I can go and look for him if you want," I offered, wanting her to be okay. "Bring him back."

At this, she immediately stopped walking and looked to me like I was insane. "Hell no! You're not going out there, risking your life because he wants to have a pout! You're not cleaning up his messes for him again!"

I swallowed awkwardly, surprised by her sudden outburst. "Okay, you're right. Sorry, I didn't mean to–"

"No!" she exclaimed again, flustered and irritated and in disbelief. "Why would you even say something like that?!"

"Alicia, I–"

"He chose to leave!" she reminded me with a glare, and I soon realised it wasn't aimed at me. "He– he thought it was safer out there than it was with us, so he can live with that! But you– you're not going! I'm not losing you, too!"

Frowning when I saw her eyes tearing up, I tried to take back my words. "Alicia–"

"It doesn't matter," she said stubbornly, before looking away and pushing past me to go to Ofelia.

I watched her go, my heart squeezing with guilt. For God's sake, Nick, why did you have to leave?

As we searched a few rooms, soon realising the ones with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door handles were full of infected, we stayed in a room to use the shower and get into a change of clothes. Thankfully, by a miracle, the water was still working and we didn't know for how long, so Alicia showered first. Ofelia left to get some fresh air and I was stuck gathering some clothes for my shower next, whilst also wondering how to talk to Alicia without upsetting her yet again.

Soon enough, I heard Alicia leaving the bathroom and turned to see her walking to the mirror, fully dressed but with wet hair and a towel in hand.

"You can go," she said briefly, before facing the mirror.

I nodded, chewing my lip awkwardly and standing up. I hesitated, glancing at her as she wiped her face with her towel, then decided to grow a pair and talk to her.

"Alicia?"

"What?"

"D'you wanna talk about it?"

She paused, still not turning to look at me, then answered firmly. "No."

Figuring it was too soon, I respected her decision with a nod and was about to go to the bathroom. Then, she spoke up again, stopping me.

"Why did he go?"

I turned around, seeing her looking at the counter with sad eyes.

"Why would he just leave?" she continued, voice so quiet she sounded like a kid. "He's supposed to be my brother."

I approached her cautiously, not wanting to push her away when she was finally opening up. "I can pretend to understand Nick's decisions, but I never have. I understand why you're upset, Alicia. I am, too. He was supposed to stick by me, too. I didn't think he'd just go."

"He asked you to go with him," she said, neither accusatory or upset, and looked up at me. "Why didn't you?"

"Why would I?"

She pursed her lips, green eyes darting between mine as if trying to find the truth. But I was telling it, she had to know that.

"He's your best friend," she started, but I stopped her, knowing where she was going with it.

"He's an arsehole," I said, my frustration peeking through without meaning to. "He shouldn't have left you. His job is to be there for his family. That's what family does! There was no way I was going with him, Alicia."

She nodded slowly. "Please, don't go after him. If you go too, I wouldn't know what to do."

Without thinking, I stepped forward and cupped her cheek, forcing her to meet my eyes and see the honesty. "I promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you. Okay?"

She nodded, lips curving into a frown, before suddenly pulling me close and hugging me. Her arms wrapped around my neck tightly, not letting go so soon, and I returned the gesture, not quite ready to either.

21 years old...

Never did I think the Clarks and I would find a place to call home again since we lost our own over two years ago, and yet that's exactly what we'd done. Built a home in the Dell Diamond Baseball Stadium in Texas, of all places.

Sometimes, I could barely believe it was as safe and well-equipped as it was, that we didn't have to worry about infected or rival gangs or anything. We could just live and build a new life in a shared community, and that was enough. Madison had worked extremely hard to make this place what it was, and we'd all worked with her to keep it a safe haven.

Some of the benefits included actually being able to eat a proper breakfast every morning, such as now. I was sat with Nick, who was bugging me and trying to dare me to put chilli powder on my scrambled eggs.

"Nick, please fuck off," I said as politely as I could, making him smirk.

"Buzz kill."

"No, I'm just not five," I said knowingly, looking at him over my coffee cup. "I don't do dares."

"You didn't seem to have that attitude when you dared me to jump in the river the other day," he said with a quirked brow.

I tried not to smile at the memory. "You're the idiot who agreed. Not my fault."

He rolled his eyes playfully as Alicia and Nick's girlfiend, Luciana, approached our table and joined us.

"Nick, are you annoying Y/N again?" Luci asked as she shoved him in the arm slightly. "Leave her alone."

"Unfortunately, he hasn't left me alone since we were kids," I told her before he could answer, making him scoff and Luci smile.

"Good morning," Alicia said, flashing me a smile as she sat beside me with her breakfast tray.

I returned her smile, trying ever so hard to ignore the butterflies I'd felt for her for an embarrassingly long time now. "Morning."

"You still on for the supply run today after lunch?" she asked as she started to dig in to her eggs.

I nodded in agreement. "Definitely."

It was supposed to be her, me and a few other residents, and I always loved going on a supply run. I suppose it helped when my partner was Alicia. What could I say? If you fell in love with someone over the course of your lifetime, it was kind of hard to just get over it.

After enjoying breakfast together, the others went their separate ways whilst Alicia and I stuck to our usual morning routine of doing the rounds around the stadium, checking in on all the different stations. It was the best start to my day, for obvious reasons.

We checked in on the gardens, the greenhouse, the kitchens – everywhere – before reaching the final station, the training area. One of the new residents we'd accepted into the stadium recently, Rick, was stealing the show as he threw knife after knife, hitting every target in the centre like a pro. It would have been impressive if he wasn't so flirty with Alicia since he'd arrived. Unfair of me, I know, but I was allowed to be jealous, surely.

"Wow, someone's been practicing," Alicia commented with an impressed smile once he was done.

He smiled, shrugging. "I've just got good aim."

She shook her head, crossing her arms. "Seriously, Rick, that's so good. Where did you learn?"

"Just comes with time," he admitted in a perfectly polite way, and yet I hated it.

She hummed, glancing around. "You ever thought about teaching it? There's a lot of people here who'd love to learn, I'm sure."

He mirrored her stance, crossing his arms, and met her eyes with mischief. "That depends. Would you be in the class?"

Taken aback, Alicia's cheeks began to turn pink. "I– well– possibly. I could always learn something new."

"Then how could I say no?" he played along with a cheeky smile, checking her out.

I couldn't help the face I pulled as I looked between them both, instantly getting put off. It was hard to tell if Alicia was interested in him, but she was definitely flustered by his obvious flirting and suddenly turned into a blushing mess. Deciding I didn't want to witness it however, I left them to it as they continued chatting and flirting and overall making me regret eating breakfast because I was certain I was gonna vomit.

"Hey, grumpy pants, what's up?" Madison appeared out of nowhere as I walked away, then glanced behind us at Alicia. "New guy'a really taken a liking to Alicia, huh?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "I guess."

Madison raised an eyebrow with amusement. "What? Don't approve?"

Hiding my jealousy the best I could, I shrugged. "It's none of my business."

"Huh, okay," was all she said, hiding a smile, before she asked, "Can you help me with something in the greenhouse? Could use an extra pair of hands."

"Sure thing."

"You sure Alicia won't mind me stealing you?"

I swallowed hard, nodding. "She's a little preoccupied. She won't even notice."

Madison chuckled before patting my back. "Alright, sweetie, c'mon."

[futbol16]

A Damn Beast  • Aitana Bonmatí

Part 2 My Tana

Request: Okay, I'd please like to request a fic. Aitana x SwedenWNT!R where they're Barca's newest star signing. Ruthless on the pitch but the team learns they're a softy off it. Cute height difference & maybe Aitana trying to learn Swedish from Rolfo. Thanks, happy holidays, & I hope this wasn't too much of an ask.

Word count: 1,5k

When your transfer to Barcelona had been announced the Barca fans were excited for your arrival, especially your team. But no one had been looking forward to meeting you as much as Aitana had. 

Throughout the past couple of weeks Frido hasn’t shut up about the talented youngster on her national team. She had praised your play style, how ambitious you were and how much of a sweetheart you were off the pitch. It’s not as if the girls had never heard about you, your name had become very well known in women’s football and you were often referred to as ‘Kvinna Zlatanera’. 

Aitana had admired your game play for a good while before she knew you’d be transferring to Barca. She had admired the way you were merciless while playing, confidently tackling players despite being a striker and she loved that smirk you’d have on your face after each goal and tackle you made. She thought very highly of you and couldn’t wait to share the pitch with you.

When the day of your arrival to the club finally came Aitana was all smiley and eager to start training. Patri and Mapi noticed the change in the midfielder instantly as usually she was a very calm and collected person, complete opposite of now as she practically dragged Fridolina out to the pitch.

“So is everyone tall in Sweden?” she questions the blonde as they walk side by side. Rolfö looks down at her curiously.

“Compared to you? Yes.” she laughs at the Spaniard who only rolls her eyes. Practice soon started as everyone warmed up and every time there was movement by the sidelines Aitana couldn’t help but glance there hoping to see your form. Just as they got a drink break before the more intense part of training she again found herself next to the Scandinavian.

“How do you say ‘Hello’ in Swedish?”

“Hallå”

“Hmm, okay that sounds very similar. What about ‘How are you’?” she pondered only to be met with Patri’s raised eyebrows and Mapi’s smirk, the tall blonde next to her wearing a similar expression. “Matter of fact, what’s that in your language?”

“Tana we’re both Spanish” Patri's voice holds amusement as the defender and the forward laugh by her sides, Aitana’s face heating up slightly in embarrassment.

Though sooner than later, you finally walked through the tunnel after signing the last of the papers. The grin on your face was blinding as you took in your surroundings, practically glowing as Frido ran towards you enveloping you in a hug. To Aitana it looked like two trees hugging, although you were still somewhat shorter than Frido you were insanely tall compared to the midfielder. It momentarily reminds her of Fridolina’s comment and she lets a small smile take over her expression. Though as you get closer to the group of players that small smile widens into a grin and she stands waiting impatiently for you to introduce yourself like she didn’t know exactly who you were. 

“This is Y/N-”

“I can do that Frido” you interrupt her with a teasing smile, the blonde’s arm hanging around your shoulders. “I’m Y/N, I usually play as a forward or striker, I played for Bayern München before coming here.”

“München?” Claudia questions confusedly, an expression that you share for a second before you realize.

“Munich, sorry.” you let out a small laugh, Aitana practically beaming at the sound. Her eyes rake over your body as she takes in your Barca clad form while you talk with her teammates. She has to admit, the blaugrana kit suits you, maybe a little too well.

“You’re drooling” Laia’s whisper and nudge has her breaking out of her trance. “Go talk to her, I know you want to”

A push to her back has her sauntering towards you and you send her a gentle smile as she looks up at you.

“Aitana. My name I mean. It’s Aitana, I’m Aitana.” she rambles and she can hear several smacks behind her, no doubt her friends face palming at her introduction. You, however, don’t move your gaze from her as you hold back your own laugh.

“Well hola Aitana” you greet her, your smile softening as you notice her dimpled smile and the way her eyes shine. You’re both so lost in the moment that you only blink back to reality when Jonatan yells to get back to training and Aitana almost gets hit in the head by a ball from Bruna. 

The shorter girl feels herself blush again as you approach the rest of the team.

That training session the barca girls watch in awe as you control the ball like you’re one with it and Frido can’t wipe the smile off her face both proud and happy to have you on her team. Your chemistry with the blonde is exhilarating to see and Aitana can only hope you’ll build that same chemistry with her and the team. 

The first time the Barca girls get to see you in action in a match is two weeks later when you verse Benfica. The expression you hold is one that has not only the opposition but them as well taking a step back from you, your game face hard, a fire in your eyes. You’re hungry for a win as you get subbed on in the 50th minute of the match and your teammates can only smirk at each other knowing that not only were they going to witness your famous cold-hearted style but they were also definitely going to walk away with a victory.

By the 80th minute Barca were already up 7-0 and when you score your second goal of the match, your debut for Barcelona, it is Aitana who reaches you first. She jumps into your open arms, clinging on as she realizes just how much higher off the ground she is than she expected.

“VAMOS!!” she screams into your face, a shout that you can only reciprocate as you get back into position.

Your debut for the team is one for the books as you walk away with three goals and an assist, Barca winning 9-0 and Aitana is immediately by your side, her arm circling your waist as the two of you walk back to the locker room. Apart from Frido and the midfielder hanging off you, the rest of the team is shocked to see a soft smile on your face as you pay close attention to everything Aitana says instead of the hard expression you had only minutes ago.

“How the hell does she switch so fast?!” Patri whispers as she watches you and Aitana, the way you beam down at the brunette who’s talking more than she’s ever had before.

“That’s Kvinna Zlatanera for you” Rolfö muses from next to her.

“She was a damn beast out there!” Ana-maria praises with a nod of her head.

By the time you get out of the shower room you’re one of the last ones in the changing room, the others presumably already on the bus or giving post match interviews. Not Aitana though, the girl is sitting next to your bag patiently waiting for you.

“You waited for me, Tana?” the way the nickname rolls off your tongue has her feeling all mushy as she gives you a nod, swinging her legs back and forth. You send her an appreciative look as you pack the last of your things, the brunette only watching as you do so.

“I’m glad you signed with us” she exclaims and you momentarily look her way.

“I wasn’t about to turn down Barcelona” you let out a small laugh, Aitana joining in with a chuckle. “But thank you, I’m happy to be here too” The reassuring smile you’re sporting has her feeling even more at ease, she enjoyed your presence.

“I wanted to give you something” she trails off as you swing the strap of your bag over your shoulder, herself standing up as well and she cranes her neck to look up at you.

You raise an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue as she steps forward. With her hands resting on your arms it’s only natural for you to hold onto her waist.

There’s a certain look on her face that you don’t understand until your eyes connect and a deep blush creeps up your neck. Aitana stands on her tippy toes as you lean down a bit and she melts into you as you place a soft lingering kiss on her lips. It’s her turn to blush now and she hides her face into your shoulder, grinning against the material of your shirt. Your chest rumbles with a sweet giggle and you pull her out the door by her hand and to the bus, the midfielder’s smile never leaving her face. 

You were definitely more than happy to be at Barcelona.

[whaliiwatching]

Caught up to the fic!! Absolutely fascinated by all the queer/punk/poc history here, since I don't know much myself. Very sweet chapter as well.

Unrelated question - mostly - but why is it common fanon to depict Noir as the more scarred up of various spiderpeople? Naturally everyone has their fair share of fights, though the only we see sustaining any marks is Peter B and his misaligned nose. Personally, I've taken it as Noir Peter not healing as cleanly due to it being Spider God stuff over Weird Radioactive Healing Factor stuff. Thoughts?

thank you so much!! i’m glad you liked it, & hope the ending was satisfying for ya <3

short answer: hot

long answer, plus a map of my idea of noir’s scars: under readmore :)

i’m not a devout spidey comic/movie fan or a doctor. this is based on conjecture and minimal research!

when i came up with my unmasked noir ideas, i wasn’t influenced by fanon—i hadn’t seen any other fan art, not even when itsv came out. but i can think of a good few reasons that scarred noir is a popular headcanon: evidence of what he’s been through makes him feel more tangible/relatable, the visual difference enhances his thematic individuality as distinct from other spider-people (especially other Peter Parkers), self-consciousness can explain why he doesn’t take off his mask in itsv even around other spiders.

all perfectly valid and interesting reasons! but the first two reasons are doylist and the last one is missing a crucial question: why does he have scars? unless a wound is severe, gets infected, or gets lucky, it won’t usually scar. facial injuries especially need to be really bad to leave a mark. and of course most if not all other spider-people have the healing factor. so what gives??

i like the spider god’s curse influences healing factor idea; it opens up some nice angsty possibilities regarding an inability to Be “Fixed;” no matter how much he tries, he can’t erase/forget what’s happened to him. but i also enjoy the bandaging someone up after a fight genre of fic, and am annoyingly pedantic, so my personal working theory is that the healing factor is not a doctor with ten plus years of experience and an accurate understanding of human anatomy. when a bone really badly breaks, it has to be reset or it’ll heal wrong. to me, the healing factor doesn’t know what ‘right’ is, only ‘fast’ and ‘effective.’ it’s an accelerant, not a substitute for medicine.

so let’s establish the baseline. modern spideys either receive modern medical attention or the injury is superficial enough that they don’t require it. even poverty-stricken peter parkers get rushed to the hospital, because fictional doctors Don’t Care About The Money and/or peter is dolled up in spider gear and who’s going to ignore a visibly beat-up celebrity hero?? plus i honestly believed peter b’s nose was just genetics or smthn. my nose is misaligned and it’s never been broken to my knowledge

to compare, noir lives in 1933 and, far as i can tell, doesn’t rlly garner the same fame and respect from the public as modern spideys do. in the 30s, medicine was meh (they had x-rays but didn’t rlly consider radiation much of a threat, penicillin was still in its infancy, polio was a huge threat, etc) but was also, more importantly, far too expensive for most people suffering during the Great Depression. whatever treatment noir receives after a fight, if any, would look way different from ours. that means his healing factor, which can’t differentiate scars from normal skin or a misaligned bone from a whole one, would be inefficiently assisted or left alone. it would leave its history behind.

on the infectious disease side of things, it’s probably much easier for even noir to recover from less physical ailments like the flu and pneumonia—spider healing factor likely remembers and codes for immunity better than regular immune systems—but without modern drug therapies he’d still be worse for wear, ie internal scarring. mans would have a shorter-than-average parker lifespan if not for the pseudo-immortality of the Spider God

anyway. all this to say, here’s my personal map of parker’s scars. crop tank and daisy dukes to keep tumblr off my ass <3

(tbh this is more for my reference than anyone else’s, i’m sick of looking through my art of Just His Forearms to keep my details consistent, but maybe someone will find it interesting lol)

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 [𝐁𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐇]

PAIRINGS —  Bobby Nash x GN!Reader

SUMMARY —  Bobby goes to Venice beach after a hard 48 hour shift

WARNINGS — mentions of death, angst, sadness

NOTE — This is a lot shorter than what I normally write but I had an itch to write something based on My Heart is Buried in Venice and this scene came to my mind hope you guys enjoy being hurt as much as i do ._.

My Heart is Buried in Venice | Ricky Montgomery

The waves crashed quietly against the shore while the water reflected the sparkling stars. Bobby dropped his phone in the sand and sat down facing the ocean. He hadn’t slept properly in 48 hours, the end of a long shift filled him with restlessness and an inability to close his eyes. So he stared at the horizon, where the water met the sky and the stars and moon danced in their reflections.

It had been a difficult few days, the team was all feeling it, he only hoped that after taking the time to speak with each of them they felt a little better than he did.

He felt the sand shift next to him and when he turned his head he saw you squatting down into a seated position to join him.

He frowned, he hadn’t told anyone he was coming here.

“How did you know I was here?” he asked simply, turning back to look at the rippling water.

“You always come here when you’re upset,” you shrugged. “Thought it was worth a try.”

He nodded his head and continued to stay silent. You gave him a moment to adjust to your presence before carefully moving closer to him and holding his hand that was nearest to you, fingers intertwined.

You knew why he came here. Somewhere that seemed so unlike his usual scene. He said his heart was buried here. You never really knew what that meant, but it made it a little easier to find him on days like this.

Bobby leaned a little closer to you, his head finding a comfortable place to rest on your shoulder. His attitude over the years had changed so strikingly compared to the closed off, reserved, and efficient fire Captain you had first met, and for that you were grateful. You held him close and pressed a kiss to his temple,

“You don’t have to be strong for me,” you whispered. “Not like you are for everyone else. You know that.”

He nodded his head slowly, his composed façade cracking with every word and action of compassion and comfort.

“It’s his birthday today, isn’t it?” you asked and Bobby nodded again, a few tears managing to slip through.

“He would have been 17,” he whispered, the first time he had spoken up since you first arrived. “I used to promise him and his sister that I’d bring them here someday.”

He sniffed and squeezed your hand a little tighter, shutting his eyes so his tears couldn’t glisten in the moonlight.

“I wish I brought them here when they were still alive,” he choked slightly on his words, “But all I ever did was spread their ashes here.”

You shut your eyes, fighting back your own tears while he trembled against you.

“I’m just so tired,” he broke down into tears, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

You let go of Bobby’s hand and pulled him closer to you, cradling his head gently.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I-I’m-,”

“Shh,” you hushed him gently. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

Bobby was always everyone’s shoulder to lean on, but that never meant he was immune to what came with the job. Just maybe a little better at hiding it than everyone else.

“You’re allowed to be tired,” you told him. “Allowed to not be okay, you’re allowed to miss them, Bobby. But you’re not allowed to deal with this alone. There’s always someone out there who cares for you, whether it’s me, or Buck, Chim, Hen, Eddie. We all love you. I love you.”

It wasn’t an uncommon exchange of words between you and your teammates, but something this time made it feel different.

Bobby nodded his head again and wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his sweater.

He lifted his head from your shoulder and turned to look at you. It was clear you could both do with a little rest and relaxation, but this was one of those moments where life goes on, with or without you.

He gently cupped your cheek with his hand and leaned down slightly to press a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too.”

You closed your eyes for a moment at the sound of those words. It was the best way he knew how to say thank you for looking out for me. You took his hand in yours again and pushed yourself up off the sand.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

He followed your lead and grabbed his phone from next to him, before walking with you, side by side away from the shore.

All those times, spent alone by the water and all he ever really needed was someone to bring him home.

[zoobiefish]

Yo! So I’ve unfortunately fallen behind by nearly a week for Auctober because I’ve been travelling abroad this past week…whoopsie-daisy! So here’s a little catch-up post!

Day 13: Vivid Imaginations

This one is very true for me! For some reason there’s a big stereotype that Autistic people are incredibly unimaginative. But once again: We’re a spectrum! Some of us may not have the most vivid imagination or may not be the “creative type,” and that’s okay! But I do find that quite a lot of us tend to be very imaginative, artsy, creative etc. My imagination is so vivid that I can practically see an object I’ve imagined in grear detail and can visualize it as if it’s in 3D space. Sadly…this doesn’t make me any better at drawing 😝 Regardless of my skill level though, I’ve always had a passion for the arts. I love to draw, paint, write stories, write poetry, and I used to dabble in playing the piano as well! One of my coping mechanisms I’ve had since childhood has been to retreat into the fictional worlds I’d created in my mind. I do this to this day in my late twenties.

Day 14: Hyperfixations

So, I often see the word “hyperfixation” used interchangeably with “special interest.” (The latter is often shortened to “spin,” which I love!) My understanding is that hyperfixations are more common in ADHD and refer to intense, almost obsessive interests that last a shorter amount of time than a spin. A spin, on the other hand, is more common in Autism and is essentially the same as a hyperfixation but generally lasts longer—anywhere from years to one’s whole life. That was my understanding of the terms, but I of course could be very wrong! I do have both Autism and ADHD however, so I do experience both hyperfixations and spins. My spin that I’ve had my ENTIRE life was The Legend of Zelda. It’s my all-time favourite videogame series and it means so, so much to me. I always related to the main protagonist Link, whom I’ve headcanoned as being Autistic for years! A spin I had for years was Japan, and I taught myself a lot of Japanese from childhood until I graduated high school. It’s not so much a special interest anymore, though I’m still making an effort to learn the language, culture, and I would still very much like to visit Japan some day! 🇯🇵 A few years back, I had a hyperfixation on plague doctors of all things! I still think they’re interesting, but it was definitely a little more of a fleeting interest. Of course, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t resurface—hyperfixations often do resurface for me hehe! One of my current most prominent spins right now is Puritan New England. Recently on my trip abroad, I visited Boston and Salem Massachusetts and I was SO hyped!! I need to clarify that my interest in the Puritans is NOT at all due to any support for colonialism—I am staunchly anti-colonialism. I just have a morbid fascination with fanatical religious groups and their history. I usually compare it to people who have an interest in true crime—just because they’re interested in the subject, doesn’t mean they support serial killers or anything like that. Hope that makes sense!

Day 15: Pebbling

Awww, pebbling! One of my favourite things about the Autistic community and the neurodivergent community in general! For those who don’t know, the term “pebbling” comes from something penguins do when selecting a mate: they will find a rock they think is pretty and give it to the mate they’re interested in as a gift! Autistic people often do this too (though not necessarily in a romantic context; I mean, probably in that context too, but often we do this with friends!) Autistic people might see somehing they think is really cool, neat, or interesting, and give it to someone they like to share in the fascination. This is our little bonding ritual and it shows that we really like you, so feel honoured! I don’t do much pebbling myself, or at least maybe not as frequently as some Autists. But on the occasion I do, it’s usually a craft item I’ve made for that person! For example, when I made a new friend last year at uni who was also Autistic and has a spin with skeletons and spooky things. So, I made them a skull magnet out of fuse beads! (They loved it!) I recall back in high school as well, there was a time I was making like a bajillion origami butterflies for an art project I was doing at the time. I made a few extra, so I just gave everyone in my friend group an origami butterfly! 🦋

Day 16: Autistic Pride

I have always found it odd when people treat my Autism diagnosis as if it’s a tragedy. Yes, I won’t deny that it has caused me much hardship and sometimes I do think it’d be easier to be neurotypical. But if I wasn’t Autistic, I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be infinitely curious with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. I wouldn’t be creative in my particular way. I wouldn’t have my unique sense of humour that everyone in my life seems to enjoy. I don’t think I would have the compassion for others and love of the world that my peers know me for. I just wouldn’t be the same person. I love being a divergent thinker and having a perspective on the world that is entirely my own. I may have difficulties and need a lot of help with certain things, but I’ve accepted it and I accept myself. I love being Autistic, and I have no interest in a “cure.”

Day 17: Repetition

I am known for being very repetitive—probably to an annoying degree. Sometimes it’s embarrassing too 😭 For example, I’ll find a joke far funnier for far longer than most people. By the time everyone is over the funny joke, I’ll still be unable to contain my laughter. I can’t help it, I’m sorry!! I also tend to repeat quotes from my favourite shows, movies, games etc. over and over again. Often with little to no context as well LMAO

Day 18: Self Regulating

Self regulating for me usually means stimming, fidgeting, or, if trying to prevent a meltdown, shutting the blinds/curtains, hiding under a blanket, putting headphones on etc. Sometimes the world is just too much for anyone—but when you’re on the spectrum, it’s like that more often. It’s hard for me to convey just how intense my sensory issues are to non-Autistic people. The best way for me to explain it is…imagine if your eardrums were *outside* of your ears. Or if, like a camera, the exposure (amount of light let in) was turned up to the max in your eyes. Or you know that one itchy sweater you hate? Imagine if almost every kind of fabric you tried on bothered you like that. It’s like all your senses are just…turned up to the absolute maximum. This is why we stim. Why we wear sunglasses sometimes even indoors. Why we wear headphones or earplugs. The world is loud, bright, and constantly coming at you. Let us self regulate. Doing so will make you a great friend to an Autistic person ❤️

That’s all for now, I hope to have a drawing or other form of art for the next prompt! Until then, I’m drained from writing all that and from travelling. I got a plane back to Canada to take soon. Bye bye!