#I know there are some calling the level of backlash unfair. But…………

[mobgoblin]

As someone who has steadily kept up on almost all Watcher shows and side projects, this backlash really does come down to how out of touch the guys have become, even before making Friday’s announcement.

Ryan and Shane (certainly the biggest draw to the channel) got their start with lower-brow, boyish humor and riffing off each other. Can’t forget the capitalism-critical and “power to the underdog” attitude that resonated with so many fans early on either. Now though, if you watch/listen to Pod Watcher, it’s hard to overlook just how unrelatable they’ve become in recent years. Which is whatever—it’s not like we only consume media in order to intimately relate to hosts/characters—but it does mean they’ve lost something integral from the charm that netted them their initial success.

To add. If you watched their latest season of Too Many Spirits, they weren’t even funny, just trashed and off-putting, lol. Frat-style drinking by a backyard pool and Ryan overhand throwing bones at a neighbor’s dog for barking.

Maybe not as bad for Shane, but the egos have really grown uncomfortably outsized. And at some point I got tired of watching videos based around lavish over-indulgence. Even if Steven’s videos cost less to produce than Ghost Files (I assume), they clearly rub viewers the wrong way on principle alone.

All in all, and not to minimize their hard work in getting out the content that they do, I think the Watcher guys should’ve been much more careful in considering this move and its rollout.

For years, I’ve maintained a Patreon subscription to a separate and unrelated funny-guy trio (for the same monthly price Watcher Streaming is now asking). However. The group I subscribe to is more than situationally-funny-sometimes, and always come across as grounded, emotionally intelligent, and likable people. Which makes me want to see them succeed and help how I can (though I would still be able to access 95% of their content even without subscribing).

So yeah, idk. Steven Lim driving a Tesla and wanting a second one or whatever is kind of just the tip of the iceberg.

[fullmoonfelix]

OK OK as possibly THE promising young woman and emerald defender on twitter let me speak: the movie is absolutely brilliant and the people who hate it literally prove the point every single time. pyw (no spoilers) is commentary on the way our society is set up to protect and dismiss abuse, how normalized misogyny is, and how people who would describe themselves as "a nice guy" or "one of the good ones" are part of the problem. like this is what the director says the point of the film is. and people are so threatened by this idea that rather than reflect and think critically, they...wait for it...aggressively attack a female filmmaker using classically sexist rhetoric. like. IS NO ONE CAPABLE OF SEEING THAT THEY'VE PROVED HER POINT A MILLION TIMES OVER? and emerald is COMPLETELY aware of this problem, and has said many times that being a female filmmaker is viewed as an inherently political act and she is held accountable for her films and her characters in a way no man would be. it's also insane people call the movie anti-feminist when emerald once said all her work is feminist because she's a feminist and lives her life that way.

and then...BECAUSE SHE'S A FUCKING GALAXY BRAINED GENIUS...she made her second movie and exposed this problem even more intentionally AND PEOPLE PROVED HER POINT AGAIN!! she's said about saltburn that it's designed to make people interrogate their own desires. if you hate a certain scene, why? if you love a certain scene, why? the whole movie is about examining a culture you are part of, even if you want to pretend you're on the outside looking in (this is oliver, wanting the level of wealth the cattons have even though he's perfectly comfortable himself). the whole movie is forcing us to reflect on ourselves, to reckon with the stuff that makes us uncomfortable. you know, sort of like people refused to do for pyw. and what did people do? THEY DISMISSED THE MOVIE AS SHALLOW IN AN ACT OF SELF PRESERVATION BECAUSE THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE LOOKING AT THEMSELVES.

now. i'm not saying she did this because of the backlash to pyw. i think she did it because she as a filmmaker is most interested in the lies we tell ourselves or how we move through life when we're not being honest or when we want to be good. she's said so many times during saltburn press that she thinks we're all liars, all olivers in some way, and that no one is as nice as they describe themselves. and the fact that this is coming from a feminist female filmmaker is too much for people to handle because our society is still overwhelmingly sexist. so they dismiss and violently harass her. i have yet to see any emerald hate that isn't basically pure misogyny.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND. i would lay down my life for this woman. i would throw myself into traffic for her zero hesitation. she made one of the most brilliant feminist movies i've ever seen, and then she followed it with a CANONICALLY QUEER erotic thriller starring JACOB ELORDI where SHE HERSELF says the scenes are designed to be sexy, gave fans express permission to ship both cattonquick and quickstart despite the fact that this genre is usually homophobic, and went on a press tour where she said some of the most hilarious, honest, and out of pocket things i've ever heard, all the while gushing about the talent of her cast and crew and talking about her love of film and genre. i will literally be obsessed with this woman until the day i die, she's a fucking artist. the fact that she's had to shoulder so much misogyny while making films about the unfair demonization of women would be funny if it wasn't so disturbing.

i was in the TRENCHES on twitter when pyw came out, like the "grown men wanted me dead when i was like 15" trenches. so i am losing my mind happy that people get how incredible emerald is. genius, goddess, loml please keep making movies forever 🙏

so glad to see people still going absolutely bonkers for saltburn like idc fuck film twitter and its hate boner for emerald fennell she gave me period sex, fetishizing the male body, and shakespearian gothic tragedy i owe that woman MY LIFE!!!

YESSSSS EXACTLY listen. listen soldier i am never leaving these trenches ok i have set up CAMP i am staying here forever idc IDC. this movie gave me barry keoghans entire shaft. this movie is my godfather my goncharov my fight club my american psycho my jennifers body my mean girls my everything. she is everything 2 me

[cozycottagetarot]

Pick A Pile: How Can You Take Better Care of Yourself?

I did this reading a bit different from my others. It’s mainly based on impressions as I’m only using the images and any text on the cards at face value along with whatever else comes to me. So feedback would be appreciated. Another thing is the piles all have intertwining messages so if you feel drawn to two piles, then by all means I encourage you to check them both out.

Paid Readings (I’ll be updating them again)

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

PILE 1

Tarot Cards: 7 of Cups, 8 of Wands, The Sun

Pile 1, the way you can take better care of yourself is by making a decision. With the 7 of Cups I see that you have all these opportunities being presented in front of you but you have no idea which one to go with. I get the impression from the cards that from postponing making a decision or choice, you’re starting to feel the brightness in other areas of your life dim. With the 8 of Wands and The Sun following however, I feel like once you make a decision, results and positive things will happen quickly, bringing you happiness. The Sun has a faint face depicted in it, so I feel like you don’t have to worry too much about unintended consequences. I see this as a sign you are being protected from unintended or unpleasant consequences as a result of your decision. Also, connecting with your inner child may be a way to help you make this decision.

The next cards that came out are: Protection (Call back your power. Cut the cords. Soul retrieval.) Soul Family (Call in your tribe. You don’t have to do it alone.) Anna, Grandmother of Jesus (Seeding the light, laying foundations. Divine plan.) The Ever-Unfolding Rose (Cracked open. It’s happening for you, not to you.)

With these cards I think some of you could be going through a 'dark night of the soul' (read: a very difficult time in your life). You may be feeling like somewhere along the line you’ve lost yourself or your direction as to where you’re heading next in life or what it is you truly desire (any Lucifer fans here because I hear Tom Ellis’s voice in my head haha). You may be asking yourself questions such as 'Why is this the way life is happening? Why me? Who am I even?' But even though it might seem unfair or lacking sense right now, keep in mind that whatever is going on is helping you in some format. Situations within reason of course, using your discernment here is best. It’s truly all about how you tell your story. Another thing is you don’t have to make these decisions on your own. Turn to your family and your friends for help/advice. If necessary, maybe you can seek professional help. If either or those things isn't really an option, you could always try taking some time to nurture yourself and journey inside to help you remember or figure out what’s important to you. When you make that effort to find/listen to yourself outside of the noise of everything else, I think that’s when you’ll find the information necessary to help make your decision.

Remaining Cards: The Hourglass Dolphin (46) — your achievement is only a matter of time. The Three Rhine Maidens (15) — love is a virtue that endure eternally.

The Hourglass Dolphin is all about finding balance between two aspects of your life, typically work and play. Dividing your time and remembering to put EXTRA care into taking care of your basic needs is another thing that’s going to help you find success. I feel like you are in a transitory phase and it really is only a matter of time before whatever darkness that may be clouding your life right now disappears.

The Three Rhine Mermaids talks about a phase in your life coming full circle, and once that happens your hearts desires are going to start materialising in your physical/the 3D.

The North Witch (23) — This card just kind of confirms or reiterates that with patience this dark phase is going to fade.

The Toad Witch (7) —This card talks about gaining wisdom from adversity. Also a secret admirer as well. There were messages of love laced through out the cards but they weren’t clear until now. Similarly, I think this will reflect in your life that after you’ve found stability once things have cleared up, you will find love as well.. or better yet, love will find you. Do keep in mind it might not be super quick… maybe Spring or Summer (depending on when you're reading this).

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Look good; feel good (put effort into looking the way you want), Believe In Yourself, Have a fruit (incorporate more fruits into your diet).

PILE 2

Hello Pile 2. The way for you to take better care of yourself right now is through doing what makes you happy.

Tarot Cards: Ace of Swords, The Sun, The Devil

I actually pulled the Ace of Swords last. Also before I started focusing on your pile while shuffling, the Four of Swords reversed came out.

Thinking of these two cards together, I think you need to pull back and ask yourself if what you’re doing is really the best thing for you. I feel like you guys could be in a really good place right now— at least at face value. The cards have darker backgrounds, except The Sun. I feel like whatever you are doing isn’t really sparking joy inside. Maybe it’s familial or peer pressure related? The life path you’re on right now seems ideal and fulfilling to everyone else, but somehow I feel like deep down inside it doesn’t feel that way. You may feel chained or held back as shown by The Devil. Looking at The Sun and The Devil, they came out together side by side. I feel like this is more family related meaning parents, parental figures or mentors. They may be trying to look out for you by telling you to study a certain topic or take a certain job because it’s safe, when what you truly want to do may be a little bit more risky. So even though you’re playing it safe right now and have things to celebrate, you may not be able to shake the that unsatisfied feeling inside.

The next cards that came out are: Warrior Woman (Have you answered your deepest calling?) Play (Have fun. Celebrate. Don’t be so serious.) Break The Chain (Ancestral patterns. Healing. Rewriting the future.) Transformation (Things are changing at a cellular level. Deep healing.)

All the figures in these cards look like they’re in their power. It makes me think you may be ignoring or avoiding stepping into the energy of your higher self. I kind of had the though fear of backlash pop into my head, and while it is a valid fear, I don’t feel like it’s something you have to worry about a lot. I feel like you need to schedule more time for yourself in general as well. You can’t ‘fight’ for other people all the time, you also have to ‘fight’ for you.

I’m just noticing something about the placement of the cards. Warrior Woman has a sword and is placed right next the the Ace of Swords. Break The Chain is right next to The Devil, and the sun is shining in Transformation and Play, in the same position as the one in The Sun… As I was saying, I feel like you need to just take a moment to connect with yourself. Ask yourself what is it you truly want and begin rewriting your future*.

*This is the part where I let it be known I need people to practice life coaching with so if you’re interested you can message me. 18 years and up only though.

Remaining Cards: The Siren (14) — In the treasure of a day, light is thrown on what could be tomorrow. The Stripped Dolphin (30) Good news, flowing through the ether waves will answer your prayers.

The Siren Is mostly about observation and not forcing connections. The Stripped Dolphin is about good things happening for you, especially by surprise. It’s also about new beginnings in any area of your life. However there’s also a message about not getting caught up in many opportunities, so if you were drawn to pile 1 as well, I see this as a sign to check out the pile as well.

The Silver Moon Witch (2) has a message of being able to see progress by the next full or new moon. However this card advises you to choose carefully when it’s the right time to go with the flow versus ‘swimming’ against the tide. Relating to above, journey inside yourself to figure out if you are taking the right course if action by choosing to stick with the path you’re on versus yelling plot twist and doing something different.

The Full Moon Witch (18) has two sides to it. On one hand you can expect ‘heartfelt’ plans coming to fruition, but on the other hand emotions may be running high and words that aren’t meant may be said. This another one of the moon phases cards, so you may find during the full moon you may have disagreements with your loved ones but once it starts to wane, disagreements may also reach a resolution. I think this relates to the The Silver Moon Witch card as well, so maybe before or during a full moon may not be the best time to bring up anything that may cause a disagreement?

Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Journal, Get Creative, Listen To Music (there may be messages in songs for you)

PILE 3

Pile 3, you guys have been giving me hell from the moment I sat down to pull cards for your reading. From focusing and interpreting to editing. Everything was a mess and I’m assuming you a significant part of your life maybe as well? Or your headspace at least.

Aside from my struggles with your reading, based on the cards, I see you need to focus on yourself.

Tarot Cards: The Chariot, The High Priestess, Queen of Wands reversed.

Starting with your Tarot in no particular order, you have The Chariot, The High Priestess and Queen of Wands reversed. The Queen of Wands is my ideal (you) card. When it’s reversed, I see it as a sign [you] are not embodying the energy of your highest self and/or something in your life is out of balance. Both The Chariot and The High Priestess have black and white polarities, so I see it more as you needing to put yourself back into balance. Something may feel hidden from you, though you’re not really sure what and you want to push forward but it’s just not really happening? On the bottom of the deck is the 9 of Swords which notes to fear, depression, anxiety, etc and is needing to release those emotions. Obviously it can be more complex than it sounds, but I’m hoping you get the idea. Brain-dump came to me. Maybe you need to do a brain-dump and survey/assess your ‘kingdom’ so you can flip that Queen of Wands energy around and allow your chariot to race onward. The next cards that came out are:

The Crumbling (What are you clinging on to?) —> Do you need to release anything? Material items, a goal, a belief, way of life, or maybe just the act of trying to have it all together?

Boundaries (Where do you need to establish better boundaries?) —> Do you need better boundaries with yourself? Habits? People? Enviroment? School/Career?

Share Your Voice (Come out of the cave. Persecution. Expression.) It’s time to step into the limelight, because the world is your stage. Maybe you’ve been hanging back and suppressing who you truly are, but now it’s time to step forward into a new role… a you role. You don’t have to go from stand in actor to lead role over night, but do brainstorm and take baby steps daily to get there.

Keepers Of The Earth (You are not alone. Ancient ancestors stand beside you.) Take the meaning as you will, but I see it as a message to look for support in unexpected places. Maybe it’s an online community of people who can relate to you. Maybe it’s a book, article or video. Who knows, it could even be a friend or family member you didn’t think could relate or help you out. Remaining Cards: The Kraken (38) — Your success and happiness lie within you. The Great Sea Monster (37) — To accomplish you dream plan and believe.

The main theme of The Kraken is release. Good fortune/luck will come to you by delving into your subconscious mind to free the conscious. Returning to nature and the things that bring you inner joy. Good fortune coming in small waves which eventually grow into big ones.

The Great Sea Monster is about taking action and again, freeing your conscious mind by looking into your unconscious mind. Also there is more than one way to solve a dilemma, you just have to search the right way. The Immortal Witch (4) — new beginnings are happening for you, and your desires are on their way to you although it might not appear so currently. (Kind of like planting a seed. It’s growing though we can’t see it until it burst through the soil). The Fairy Ring Witch (9) — mental and physical communication. Connecting with or making friends with similar skills or talents. Self Care Activities Ideas (Homemade deck): Tend to yourself, Slow and steady, Get creative, Read a book (maybe a self help book relevant to what you're going through).

[letarasstuff]

Miss Missing Curfew

(A/N): This was requested by an anon. I hope you like it :)

Summary: How does Hotch react to his daughter missing her curfew?

Warnings: angry Hotch and angry teenager

Wordcount: 1.3k

✨Masterlist✨ ______________________________

(Y/N) always was an outgoing person. From the moment on she was able to speak coherently and walk steadily the whole world became her friend.

Aaron and Haley surely wanted to encourage her to socialize and meet new people, but they still had to set limits and establish rules to live by. A curfew for example. This is something both parents insisted on her following and (Y/N) did without a fail. After all she knew about her father’s job, what kind of people are out on the streets creeping around and that her parents were concerned about her wellbeing all the time.

Especially after her mother’s death the girl was careful to be at home on time. She didn’t want to be another reason Aaron has to worry. This was before she hit high school. In her freshman year (Y/N) goes through a small and short rebellious phase.

It starts with talking back, not much or mean, but Hotch has to tell her to do a certain chore a few times and has to expect to get some kind of backlash. He doesn’t let it slide, of course, just telling her off and usually his daughter stops and does as told.

“Dad, I’ll be out with a few classmates!” (Y/N) calls into the kitchen, where Aaron is finishing cleaning the counters. “Alright, Sweetheart. Be home by nine!” She pops her head into the room and smiles at him. “I will. Love you!”

It’s currently 8:30 and Hotch sits patiently in the living room watching TV. Every few seconds his eyes dart towards his phone, waiting for it to make a sound. Normally the teenager would have sent him a message by now, telling him she is on her way back home. Out of all the reasons and excuses his mind goes through, the agent decides on her forgetting to text him. After all this is nothing he has ever told her to do, (Y/N) does it on her own accord. Or maybe her phone died and she hasn’t had the opportunity to charge it.

But the closer the clock is to nine, his reasoning gets darker. What if she got into an accident with her bike and is in some hospital by now, listed as a Jane Doe. Is it too early to make a few calls to different ERs?

By the time the clock strikes nine, Hotch is totally convinced (Y/N) lays dead in a ditch. After all she is always on time or letting him know she is late because of a good reason. But his phone hasn’t made a noise since six and this was Penelope sending him a cat gif in hopes to make him smile (it’s her secret mission).

His calls go straight to voicemail. By 9:30 Aaron is sure something so bad had happened, that nobody even dares to inform him. Still, he tries to keep it level headed. He gives her time until ten before he takes action.

But as soon as ten comes it also goes by. For a father waiting on his child time flies and slowly goes by simultaneously. Just as he takes the phone at exactly 11:23 to call his colleagues, because (Y/N) is either kidnapped or dead and he needs their help and advice, keys jingle at the door.

The lost thought person looks sheepishly at her father, who stands with crossed arms and the coldest glare in history in the hallway. “Heyyy Dad, how are you doing? Did you know that you only can swallow two to three times before your body stops you doing that? Well, it’s late and I have to go to bed. Goodnight!” But her attempt to slip beside him is short lived after Aaron sticks his arm out and hinders her.

“I ask you this only one time. Why are you late?” His dangerously calm voice makes (Y/N) stand up straighter.

“Uhm, well do you know that Albert Einstein once said time is relative? And he said that three minutes-” “Stop trying to crap you way out of this. I want an answer before deciding on your punishment. Now give me the truth and the truth only.”

His cold eyes make the teenager look away. She knows that she has lost this battle. “I forgot to check the time. But Dad-” Hotch cuts her off: “No buts. We established your curfew for a good reason and this reason was not you breaking it. You are grounded for two weeks and no electronics for one. No discussions.”

Ok, (Y/N) may know that this battle is lost, but this doesn’t stop her from trying. “That’s unfair! It’s the first time I’m late, Dad. Don’t be such a stuck up.” After uttering those words she realizes that she only dug a deeper hole for herself.

“You call this unfair?! Then how do you name the worries and fear I had to endure over the last two and a half hours, wondering where you were? Thinking about which UnSub could have kidnapped you or in which ditch you may lay dead?” It’s uncommon for Aaron to raise his voice against his daughter. It’s just that all of the built up stress breaks out of him at once.

“I don’t know, Dad? I think I’ll call it overreacting? All of the other kids’ parents aren’t that strict about their curfew! I’m a teenager for crying out loud! Let me live a little! Just because you hadn’t ever let loose in your life, you don’t have to control me like that! This is why Mo-” Suddenly everything goes silent. (Y/N) knows not to end this sentence, because it’s not fair to say that.

“Go to your room.” Hotch’s face goes stone cold again. Without wasting a second she rushes out of the hallway.

In this night nobody gets any sleep (except for Jack, who is oblivious to what happened). Both of them feel too guilty to close their eyes. (Y/N) on the one hand knows that she has crossed a line. To be honest she missed her curfew intentionally, just to test the limits. While lying in her bed, she sees that this was immature and stupid.

On the other hand Aaron cools off enough to see that he is the one who is unfair. He loaded something up on his daughter, just because he grew too paranoid due to all the things he sees in his job.

The next morning is filled with an awkward tension. (Y/N) and Hotch try to avoid each other, knowing they went too far last night. For the most part it works, because he has to drop the youngest off at a friend’s house. That gives both of them enough time to collect their bearings and decide to be the bigger person in the following conversation.

This is why (Y/N) waits at the door as she hears her father parking in the driveway. A bit taken aback by her eagerness, he enters the hallway.

“I’m sorry”, they say at the same time. Baffled by this, they look at each other. “I’m sorry for being such a moody teenager and only seeing my own problems and not acknowledging your point of view.” Aaron shakes his head. “No, I have to apologize. You are allowed to be a moody teenager, I’m just not prepared to deal with one. I promise I’ll get better at that and will give you more freedom and ‘let it loose’ more often. But you are still grounded-”

This gets a groan out of her. “You didn’t let me finish! I said you are still grounded with the possibility of reducing your sentence by doing more chores and behaving. Deal?” (Y/N) acts like she has to think about it before smiling and taking the hand her father offers. “Deal!”

Taglist:

All works:

@agentshortstacc

[g0dtier]

Ok look even i realize i cant make a post like that before elaborating so as someone who has an art degree, was groomed themselves and was raised by someone who worked with teenagers who were groomed specifically for 20 years, heres my take on why tumblrs mentality towards fiction (&real degeneracy) is wrong and what you can do to help victims

Im gonna leave out the whole "fiction = reality" shit because at this point everyone knows it doesnt, they just cherry pick where to believe it does. This is not a black and white issue. Fiction may bring up something that was already there, but since none of us are shooting celebs because of books or molesting animals cause furry shit exists, its safe to say theres a line. 1000s of teen boys idealize that one dipshit from fight club. 99% grow out of it. The few that dont were already fucked up and wouldve ended up blowing some shit up either way. No, ao3 is not normalizing pedophilia and you are in no way helping victims. Youre kind of being a detriment.

Pedophiles may use fiction to groom kids, but they did that before fandom existed as well. There is no big difference between using fiction of 2 teens vs fiction of 2 adults to groom a kid cause a pedophile will either say "youre so much more mature than these fictional kids" or "youre so mature for your age you might as well be an adult, i think this fictional adult couple really represents us" and the minor will still take it as a compliment because that is the point of the action. The reason the abusers can take advantage of them is because they want that validation, for reasons listed below. The form that validation comes in doesnt matter.

Tumblrs mentality is purely focused on outrage. Its about hating the perpetrators and pretending people who arent perpetrators actually are, not about helping the victims.

People here have a wrong idea of what a relationship between a minor & pedophile looks like & how they function. People forget that while to us normal people the minors come across as victims in a horrifying situation (which they are), to the minors themselves it doesnt look anything like that. The problem with many of these relationships is not that the minors dont know what theyre doing or are doing it against their will, the problem most of the time is that they, in their minds, are active participants who choose to do this.

Pedos often actively look for kids in fragile situations. No self esteem, bad home life, severe depression. These are the reasons kids want the validation i listed before. Theyre vulnerable to it because they dont get any of it anywhere else and here theres an adult figure just giving it to them.

The point of a grooming is to give the kid validation and make the kid rely on them. To make the kid believe that the adult is the only one who understands them. Its to put the responsibility of the abusers mental wellbeing on the kids' shoulders in the kids' head. And 99% of the time kids already have a close relationship with the abuser when it gets to that point because of aforementioned validation. They create codependency.

So you know what angrily screeching "pedophile!" at any adult interacting on any level with a teenager does? It gives the abuser a reason to call themselves the victim and itll give the minor, whos likely already reluctant to be open about something an abuser does making them uncomfortable because many of them already have low self esteem and dont trust their own judgment and are scared of the consequences (for example: losing what to them is the only person that understands them) even less likely to talk about it. Because regardless of what tumblr thinks, most of these kids do not realize theyre being abused until much later. Theyre not waiting for someone to give them an out.

And no, no matter how hard you try, youre never gonna convince teens that the person theyre talking to is abusing them. Almost every single victim talks about how they hate abusers but how theirs isnt one, adults included. Theyre just misunderstood, or lonely, or really didnt mean it like that. Teens arent gonna listen to randos on the internet trying to convince them the 23yo who "relies on them for help and who is only in love with them, a 15yo, because theyre just really special and cool" is an abuser. Teens are gonna do stuff behind the back of others and lie about it because teens have a really bad case of "dont tell me what to do" syndrome.

What you CAN do to help teens:

- vote for more funding to health care, specifically mental health care. I know everyone rags on cps but cps does not take away children for no reason and will ALWAYS strife to work it out with the parents by offering personal help if possible

- strife to create a safe space for teens to talk about their experiences. Demonizing any adult interacting with children, no matter how creepy it may seem to you or me, makes the victims more reluctant to come forward. Theyre abuse victims. Adult abuse victims dont respond well to "girl youre being abused leave him!!" either. They respond a lot better to "wow dont you think he shouldnt treat you like that? Dont you think your feelings matter and hes being unfair to you?". You need to demonize the actions, not the context of the relationship because teens have already decided the context itself is fine and its usually not what they have a problem with and they wont till theyre older, no matter how hard you try to convince them.

- giving teens safe spaces to learn/talk about sex and what is or isnt right in a relationship. Most pedophiles are not stable. Theyre often codependent or manipulative or overbearing. Teach kids how to recognize these signs and that theyre not ok.

What doesnt help teens:

- taking down ao3 or yelling that some horndog on twitter drew an adult character looking too young. Taboo fiction is not linked to actual degeneracy and doesnt normalize any of it and is not a more succesful tool to help groom kids than anything else. Pretending it is will make minors less likely to seek help tho because the fear of backlash as stated above.

[desidarling123]

Alright, I'm a little bit new, but listen... I'm a wolfstar stan and I don't see a real reason for this particular drama flare up. First of all, I don't like remadora and I doubt I ever will, but that's personal preference and I don't think the wolfstar fandom thinks there's anything wrong with the remadora fandom. With the reblogs on both sides, it looks like wolfstar fans think remadora fans are accusing wolfstar of being problematic, toxic, and/or abusive, inherently (I don't know the history behind you and op and I'm going to stay out of that as well but I'm talking about the fandom to fandom accusations). And remadora fans think wolfstar fans are accusing them of being homophobic because they don't ship wolfstar? That's not true, like I said, that's personal preference and I agree with what you said about nuance. The homophobic thing is in the context of accusing wolfstar of being problematic. To clarify, it's not that if you don't ship wolfstar you're homophobic, it's that if you think it's problematic while NOT thinking remadora is problematic (because, again, nuance) then that seems pretty homophobic. Anyway, I don't know. Maybe the fandoms just want a reason to be mad at each other and this isn't helping but I just wanted to clarify anyway.

You’re fine, and thank you for hopping into my inbox! Let me smooth the waters as bit -- us folks on the Remadora side are well aware that there are loads of issues with our ship, too (thx 4 nothing, JKR). We talk about it a lot within our community, and I think a healthy amount of critique is something everyone should be open to. 

What’s not been OK (and what I sort of jumped down OP’s throat for, which I understand, to unassuming onlookers would have been very !!!!) has been a recent flouting of what I would call traditional rules of engagement in fandom -- if you dislike something, tag it anti-X, and don’t cross-tag where someone who DOES like the ship might see it. 

Instead, as of late, the Remadora tag here and elsewhere has been FLOODED with accusations of homophobia (fully baseless, as you said) along with loads of general negativity from folks who do not know anything about us or why we enjoy the ship. People who are NOT a part of our community have felt entitled to entering our spaces and harassing us over what we like. 

The point of irritation (that led to the post OP talked about) is that the relentless attacks on our ship have come ALONGSIDE claims that Wolfstar is 100% unproblematic, or a “better alternative”. This feels unfair -- whatever your personal preference, painting one ship as strictly Bad and one as strictly Good is preposterous on face. It also puts us on the defensive -- yet again -- and so of course the counter has been to say, well, if we’re so Bad, what about This Thing About Wolfstar? Or This? (The kicker here being that we STILL manage to tag our critiques appropriately, even if that respect has largely not been returned to us)

It’s not enough for people to not like or be indifferent towards our ship -- instead, some folks have become hell-bent on proving that Remadora is the Beacon of All Things Wrong with fandom. Which is, frankly, exhausting.

OP has been part of that deluge of negativity -- their contribution was a meme  that deliberately misstated the facts of a real case, and spurred further attacks and accusations of homophobia towards our fandom. There’s been other accusations, too, but the homophobia one has struck a personal chord because so many of us ARE, in fact, queer.

They’ve also engaged on a personal and extremely rude level with many of my mutuals (the ‘cyberbullies remadora stans’ in their bio is a nice touch), so when I saw the post on my dash I did get angry. I got angry, because I looked into the very serious accusations his post made, accusations that had made so many of us feel guilty over something (a supposed lawsuit from Hers Truly) that we couldn’t have possibly had any control over -- only to find out they were all bunk, and clearly written to spur more hatred between the two sides.

Also, before I end, I’d just like to clarify: 

I was being snarky in comments to snipe at OP directly, but I have nothing personal against Wolfstar. (I actually have grown to like it quite a bit, despite other drama.) Nor do I think a ship needs to be canon for you to enjoy it -- that’s the whole fun of fandom, of filling in the gaps. Who cares what a renowned TERF has to say about it? Every iteration of these characters and pairings has a right to exist without backlash. You can enjoy Wolfstar and I can enjoy Remadora and we can all stick our🖕 at JKR, because I think both communities have been critical enough of her work and motivations to have reclaimed the ships -- problems and all -- on our own terms.

Anyways! Sorry for such a long post, and thanks for being so polite about it. I hope this clarifies some things from our POV. 

[maxparkhurst]

Crimson

“In the quiet I sit and wonder,

If the image I had were real

Or just that…

An image crafted by my own desire.”

Two years ago

Max stood hidden in the shadowy depths of a Mariner’s Row alley. She watched as tentative raindrops crescendoed from a light drizzle to a full downpour. Rats scurried and took shelter from the storm in open rubbish bins. She only turned her collar to the cold and damp; this cold couldn’t penetrate the frigid numbness she already felt under the black tide’s pull. Her fingers stroked the vials tucked in the folds of her coat, the smooth glass grounding her in the moment.

Are you always going to be a victim?

A man separated from the throng of by-passers and descended into the alley. He walked with a hunch, shivering uncontrollably as he clawed at his neck. Max met him half-way, her myopic gaze drifting up to meet his shifting eyes. They only focused long enough for her to see the bright, desperate light glimmering in his dilated pupils. A cordial smile touched her lips.

“Fifty gold.”

The man bristled as his wild gaze narrowed in on Max. “You’re fucking with me…” he breathed in disbelief. “It was thirty last week!”

“Supply and demand.” Max shrugged. “Fifty. Unless you don’t want it.”

“How ‘bout I take that supply and demand bullshit and shove it up ya’ass!” His hands fell to his sides- revealing the angry, red blisters from where he’d been scratching- and flexed his fingers.

“You’re welcomed to.” Max kept her voice leveled as she procured a vial from her pocket. Its crimson contents stuck out against the gray-scale backdrop, drawing the man’s attention. “But,” she said with an enticing wave, “You’d get none of this.”

He stared long and hard at the vial. His expression darkened as he dropped his head, a hand untying the coin pouch from his belt. “Damn you,” he spat, tossing her the pouch, “And your price gouging.”

Max palmed the pouch and offered the vial out to the vagrant. He snatched it up and yanked the cork with his teeth, shooting down the crimson concoction. A sense of composure seemed to wash over him as his shoulders slackened and his breath evened. She held out the other three vials for him, watching with a measured smile as he pocketed them. “Same time next week?” she inquired.

“Fuck you.”

The vagrant turned briskly on a heel and charged out the alley. Max didn’t need an answer. She already knew he’d be back next week- they always came back for more.

*** Max laid sprawled out on her couch. It’d been here when she moved into the single room apartment, a relic from the previous owners. She made no plans to replace it, despite the pungent scent of tobacco and brine wafting from the futons. This wasn't a permanent domicile. She was only going to stay here long enough to settle Augustine’s custody papers. At least, that’d been her initial intent. Months since her release had passed in a blur. Finding an executor to authenticate their father’s will and write up Max’s legal guardianship over Auggie  proved far more difficult than she could’ve imagined- and far more expensive.

She picked her head up and looked over to her poor excuse for an alchemist’s lab. Vials and alembics crowded a “refurbished” table she found in a back alley, a fresh batch of Crimson simmering over an old burner. The sight of its volatile contents made Max’s stomach turn sour. She collapsed back onto the couch and draped an arm over her eyes.

Crimson had been Vallory’s best kept secret; a secret not even her late husband knew existed. It was a secret she whispered in Max’s ear over a cigarette they shared. The memory still laid fresh in her mind. She could almost feel the cool night air; the heat radiating off of Vallory’s skin; the tenderness of her lips. She shared with Max a secret she’d given no one else and sealed it with a kiss. Her heart ached as she remembered how easily she caved under the woman’s will, allowing all of her vile secrets in.

“You love her...Don’t you?”

Max’s lips pressed into a thin line as the memory shifted. His voice, hoarse and cracked, echoed in the chambers of her mind. She could still see him on the backs of her eyelids, his bulging eyes staring up as he labored for breath. He smiled up at her through a froth of bile.

“She doesn’t love you… She loves no one but herself.”

She knew that now.

Vallory akinned Crimson to prison shackles. Users who typically sought it were looking for a bolster in strength. The poppy extract in it suppressed the flow of glutamate in the brain, blocking the sensation of pain. It was popular amongst brawler rings. But its suppressant properties wasn’t what kept people buying. It was the withdrawal symptoms which followed. Hives, chills, nausea, and fevers were only some of the physical components. Users would experience spells of paranoia, rage, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.

Max witnessed it all through her clients. She found most of them through the underground brawlers ring. While vaguely aware of Crimson’s backlash, Max hadn’t a clue of how potent it really was. She watched over the next several months as these hardy men dissolved into decrepit husks. They quaked and begged at her feet for their fixes, tethered to her bloated prices like rabid dogs. But just as they were shackled to Crimson, so was she.

The executor explained to Max that she’d need to prove her capability as a guardian. She needed to be able to provide a safe home, warm food, and clean clothes for Augustine before they’d let her touch custody papers. Without those said papers, she wasn’t allowed any near her brother. Their Aunt had made sure of it. When news of Max’s release arrived, she’d placed a restraining order which prevented Max from coming within sixty yards of Augustine. She hadn’t even gotten to see him when she found the notice nailed to her apartment door.

They stayed in touch through letters exchanged by way of bottles tucked in the bushes outside the library. Augustine said he found the idea appealing in one of his letters, drawing references to pirates. She had smiled at that one. His letters were what kept Max going most days. She’d read and reread them long into the nights, committing them to memory in case they should ever stop. Some made her laugh and others made her cry. He wrote about his studies; about him and Joseph at the shipyards; about the children from school; about Auntie’s unreasonable requests; about the heaviness in his heart. He wrote that he felt cold and empty; that people were cruel and this world was unfair; that sometimes he wished to go to sleep and never wake up. But mostly, he wrote about how he wanted her to come get him; how he wanted them to sail far away and start a new life; how he really just needed to see her again. In all of her letters, she promised him they would and that it was only a matter of time. She asked him to be patient.

Max’s savings had grown exponentially since she started dealing. A few more transactions and she’d be able to afford the executor and the process of their father’s will could begin. Ruining a few lives along the way seemed like an affordable price. While it’d be one she’d keep paying to ensure her brother’s happiness, it wasn’t one she took exceptional pleasure in. Self loathing sprouted in her chest.  It took root not from guilt but from the fear. At first she thought this fear was of Augustine. What would he think about his murderous sister? She not only took the life of one man, but robbed many of theirs. They’d never know reprieve from their hunger for crimson, suffering long after she and her supply left the Kul’tiran Kingdom. He’d have nothing to think, though, because he’d never find out. Max hid her foot prints well and took every precaution to keep off suspicion. Her secret could die here in Boralus and no one would be the wiser. No, the only thing she feared was herself.

She’d broken a seal- made a decision which could never be undone. If she could kill once then she could again. If she could distribute Crimson in Boralus, what was to stop her from distributing in Stormwind? Temptation would always lurk in the back of her mind.  She realized at that moment what a horrible thing Vallory had done. She hadn’t shared her secret out of love. No, it was out of malice towards her husband. All of it revenge for his treachery. She hadn’t cared about Max as a person. She’d only used her as a means to an end.  Now, just as Max’s clients would never be free of Crimson, she’d never be free of Vallory. Every day she’d have to fight off these temptations; she’d have to fight to be better.

“I have to be better,” Max whispered into the dark room. The alembic simmered. Crimson replied with a bubbling boil. She bit down on her lip and ignored its tempting call. This would be the final batch, she vowed, and no more. No more back alley deals, no more drugs, no more drinking benders, no more shifty people, nothing. She needed to be better.

“I’ll be better tomorrow,” she promised to herself, “I have to be better. I have to be better for him. Better for Auggie.”

Better for Auggie.

Her new mantra. She recited it to herself, whispering it over and over again until she couldn’t recognise her own voice. To obtain anything something of equal value must be lost. She knew this to be her one and only truth.

She forfeited her ties with Vallory

And in return…

She’d be better for Auggie. 

[writingwithcolor]

I'm a POC who writes mainly white characters but after seeing all the "diversity" posts on this site I'm wondering if I may be subconsciously prejudiced and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been doing everything wrong and yet I don't want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

To Write (or not write) with Diversity

No one can force you to write inclusive stories. Inclusive meaning media that consists of marginalized people, because that is what diversity really is - including people who have always been right there, but have been purposefully left out and erased from the pages of books and scripts. Those who are, when finally represented, are overwhelmingly assigned small, unflattering, and / or stereotypical roles.

Pages like Writing With Color are an offering. Our presence here is for those who choose to write with diversity. We aim to make being inclusive easier because we all believe in the importance of it. But as much as we know how enriching diversity can be, we cannot convince you to do something you don’t necessarily believe in.

Don’t do it because you feel forced

As you mentioned, you’ve read the posts. You know the facts. The decision cannot be forced upon you.  If anything, including diversity out of obligation alone could lead to bad representation. Forcing people to do things without motivation usually means it’ll lack effort, or be done with spite. Trust me when I say marginalized people don’t usually want to see themselves represented by someone who does not want them there. That unwelcome feeling shows. In short: Lack of representation hurts. Bad representation hurts worse.

I only ask that you have accountability.  

Now that you’re aware that your works default to white, you have a choice to make. I think a lot of us grew up reading and writing very white stories - both as PoC and white people - but once you possess the knowledge that things can be different, your next step is a conscious one. You’re not on auto-pilot anymore when you make everyone white (and/or straight, able-bodied, etc). You know better now. Own up to your choices.

So ask yourself: why have I chosen to write without diversity?

I’m afraid to write People of Color. 

Being uncomfortable writing People of Color is a big reason why people stick to writing white people, and only garnish their stories with PoC, if that. White people have long been the default, the everyman. White perspectives are “neutral” to approach. It’s daunting to go from feeling you can portray characters in whatever way you wish to suddenly having the weight of good versus harmful representation on your shoulders.

You don’t want backlash from getting it wrong. You also don’t want to be insensitive to groups. It’s easy to avoid writing them altogether, right? Sure. 

Be aware, though:

You’re making a choice to exclude people out of fear.

Of course, new things are scary. But that’s okay! Courage is the ability to do things that frighten you. Face your fears. Will you shrink away from the challenge, or use it to your advantage?

Let the fear fuel you to do better and to know better. Your concerns about writing PoC can drive you to get the research right in order to best represent people. If your fear is leading to more effort into thoughtful creation, you’re putting it to good use.

Let me tell you right now - you will mess up.

Maybe in small ways, perhaps in a big way. But mistakes will not kick start the apocalypse. Ideally:

Do your research to avoid the most obvious and devastating mistakes from the jump.

Equip yourself with the right beta-reader and sensitivity readers to catch those things. 

Even with errors, your story can be quite enjoyable for people who hardly see themselves represented. Yes, mistakes and all.

As a Black woman bookworm, if you write an exciting story about a Black girl on adventures and falling in love but mention a few questionable things about how she takes care of her hair…I will wince, but it won’t ruin the book for me. I’m willing to overlook some things, for the sake of my enjoyment, and let the author know how I felt about those parts in hopes they can improve.

Say you get something real important wrong. People call you out for it. I suggest you apologize, listen to their critiques, and do better. If possible, pull back the story and re-release when you’ve improved the piece. If that’s not an option, fix it in future works. Getting a finger wagged at you doesn’t mean lock up in fear and never write with diversity again. It means you improve.

Research PoC like you would on any topic:

For comparison’s sake, consider writing People of Color (or any group different from you) like writing other topics you’re unfamiliar with in-depth. 

For example: You may know the basics on Medieval England. The knights, royalty, and so on. But i’m sure there’s a lot of misconceptions mixed in there from television or unreliable sources. 

To write people from this perspective, you would do lots of additional research… right?  

If someone mentioned how you messed up on some of the facts, you would take note and dig into it more for the future…right? 

You might even have more experienced persons check your facts for accuracy beforehand to do the best job possible.

Approach researching PoC in the same way as other topics. There may not be hard facts on how to write an X character, but there are portrayals to avoid with explanations why, and roles people want to see themselves in.

I don’t like to be told what to write.

There’s this misconception that writing with diversity restricts creativity. I get it - there are things you’re being told not to do when writing certain groups. The lists of No’s can get dense. This reflects how poor representation has been for People of Color as there are a number of stereotypical portrayals folks are tired of seeing and has been detrimental to them.

Fiction simply reflects real life: People of Color being viewed through the lens of preconceived notions means being written on with those stereotypes in mind. It is a vicious cycle. Stereotypes are more than an annoyance - they can and do lead to real life consequences.

Being treated like a stereotype lowers our quality of life. Experiencing racism and daily microaggressions has a psychological effect - from insecurity, depression and PTSD - it is serious. (X)

Viewing People of Color by their stereotypes is what makes, say, a Black person who speaks with passion no matter what it’s about (and even if they’ve been wronged) too hostile and “Angry” to take seriously. If anything, they’re now a serious threat. And that’s dangerous for them.

Put yourself in the shoes of the overly typecast.

Think of a time someone misunderstood you. You had a bad day and acted grumpy. Well, being a grump defines who you are now. When asked, people describe you as crabby and humorless. Every new person you meet sees your every action through that lens.

Strangers tiptoe around you, as they can just tell you’re ill-tempered. Peers choose their words carefully, afraid of what might spark your wrath. Your children even inherit the title; teachers discipline them more and take other students’ word over theirs- your kids are snappy, difficult, and known to not play well with others, after all.

Wouldn’t that get old? Wouldn’t you feel it was unfair to be reduced to a label, and that you’re sick of being defined by it? Wouldn’t you have the desire to be seen for who you truly are, and can be? Perhaps you do get grumpy sometimes, which is just being human. You’re so much more than a grouch.

Stereotypes are not creative.

Writing outside of stereotypes open up so many more possibilities. How many times have we seen the Black Best Friend play out in media? You’re not being silenced when readers criticize your sassy sidekick. Your message has been heard, loud and clear - again and again and again. People are upset because it’s not anything new - in fact, it is quite old.  We want multiple portrayals. Why not create something new before you decide to write so closely to how we are always written?

OP said: I don’t want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

This should not be the case. Avoiding stereotypes has nothing to do with making unlikeable or even perfect characters. Simply make Characters of Color who go beyond stereotypes! Characters who are best friends without being arc-less doormats. Characters who are fierce and emotional and stand for something without being simplified to irrational, hostile, and angry. 

Knowing the difference between stereotype and culture is important, too. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing something wrong when their bias means they perceive your character as being stereotypical, or problematic, when they’re not. (See: Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception.)  

If anything, writing beyond hard labels leads to complex characters. Writing about new cultures is interesting and can be exciting. 

If you only like your East Asian characters when they’re geniuses or your Black girls when they’re angry without a cause…do some self-reflection. Why do your Characters of Color only seem “right” to you when they are flat, or confined to stereotypes? Why not allow them to be complex humans?

I’m not convinced that representation matters.

Well, representation does matter. A lot. While it has been written on so much, and there being countless studies, statistics, and personal accounts to support this, I would like to mention…

Representation (or lack thereof) lowers self-worth.

Studies show TV boosts the self-esteem of white boys. The confidence of People of Color and girls of all races, on the other hand, decreases when watching TV (X X). 

“If you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.” -Junot Diaz

The Racial Empathy Gap.

I want to be brief (too late, right?) so let me just mention another point of research for you: the racial empathy gap. Stereotyped depictions and the limited roles for People of Color are internalized by society, leading to lack of empathy towards People of Color and the enforcement of stereotypes in real time. Lack of empathy actively affects how PoC are treated, such as the belief that Black people experience less pain than others and therefore are misdiagnosed (their illnesses and pain are downplayed) and under treated (X X X). 

Fiction Increases Empathy.

In addition to the racial empathy gap, look into the studies on how fiction improves empathy. For example: reading about vampires increases empathy towards vampires. Imagine what non-stereotyped, marginalized depictions in fiction can do for empathy.  (X, X)

The strength in which people are against representation speaks volumes. 

If representation does not matter, then why are some people so angry when it’s there? Let’s take book to movie depictions: 

A Character of Color depicted as white simply means they were the best actor for the job, according to a vocal presence in social media. 

However, even a verified Character of Color being depicted as such leads to boycotting, accusations of being “Politically-correct”, and wide complaints that they can’t relate to the characters and they are poor actors. Never mind that so many Actors of Color attend prestigious schools only to get so far.

The hypocrisy speaks to a need for more representation, and a prevalent lack of empathy. 

The People Want Diversity!

On a positive note: shows that reflect the real world, aka include diversity, continue to get high ratings despite many obstacles: those who don’t want them there, lack of advertising or inconvenient airtime for shows with diverse leads, the ole bait-and-switch method, and hasty cancellations. Not to mention media simply refusing to be inclusive even when they know “diversity sells” (X X). Gee, I wonder why….

Audiences are more drawn to projects that feature a diverse cast, a new study finds, though mirroring the population in the United States remains a problem.

“Less-diverse product underperforms in the marketplace, and yet it still dominates,” said Ana-Christina Ramón, the report’s co-author and assistant director of the Bunche Center. “This makes no financial sense.” 

-Diversity in Hollywood Pays Off in Ratings and Box Office, New Study Finds

Diversity simply reflects the real world accurately. 

There is nothing forced about diversity. People of Color exist in the real world, go out and about, and have lives. Creators including marginalized people only seems strange because media actively scratches them out as much as possible, pulling the marginalized out of focus to zoom in on white characters. That is what’s unrealistic. 

Ultimately, you, the writer, will write what you want. Just ask yourself why you have decided this is what you want to write. Are you okay with that reason? Despite all the progress that is being made, you’ll blend in just fine with all of the other mostly white books and movies out there. And as people become more conscious and bored with the same stories, we can and will choose to ignore whitewashed media.

The good thing is that there’s so much awareness and activism going on with representation; the path has been paved for you and it is not lonely! 

There are resources out there, and WWC continues to be one of them.

More Reading - Diversity:

Braving Diversity: How to Write Yourself (and others) out of your Story  (An early WWC post quite relevant to you, OP)

Diversity exists in the real world 

The Key to Moving Beyond checklisting is not LESS diversity 

Bad Representation vs Tokenism vs Diversity: just existing without justification like in the real world

How to research your racially/ethnically diverse characters 

–Colette

[angstmonsterwrites]

This week delivered a pretty harsh emotional gut-punch. I had to end the only non-family friendship I had where the person in question lived within a 100mi radius.

She and I had been growing apart for a bit as it was--the way I saw it was that we simply had become two different people than when we first met online back in 2014. We'd exchanged emails for the longest time, and met once at a convention. She was someone who'd been easy to relate to and understand at first because of a traumatic upbringing, but the substance of her messages never changed or varied throughout the years--it was always, always about who had wronged her this time and why it was evidence of how terrible people are, but how she was "hardworking" and "different". We scarcely talked about anything else. Victim mentality. The one time we met only solidified that this was who she was. Imagine someone side-eying perfect strangers in a crowd of cosplayers and constantly grumbling about how they were too scantily clad and making remarks about how sure she was her favorite character would disapprove. (Yes, there was a concerning disconnect from reality there that often made me wonder if there was something schizoid-flavored going on.) Suggesting that she could do anything differently or an alternative point of view was usually met with a lot of reaching and bending over backwards for reasons why nothing was ever her fault or how it was someone else who had to change.

In short, it wasn't commiserating. It was years of me reading long screeds, and going, "Yeah. Uh huh. That sucks." Most of the time, if I brought up any complaint of my own, it was met not with compassion, but with either dismissal so that we could focus on her again, or more ranting about how it was all just more evidence of how right she was. Even just attempts at sharing new interests resulted in a sort of pushback where she'd barely stop short of telling me I was wrong or somehow treacherous for doing so. Trying to share good news always prompted her to double down on refocusing on how awful everything was for her.

As we got into the vile meat of 2020, my energy to respond to long-form emails was pretty well shot, and my responses had slowed down substantially. She started to badger me with the question, "What am I to you?" I explained that I felt our attitudes and values had seriously diverged over the years, and that my stress level was simply too high, but that if she still wanted to keep in touch, it was a better idea to message me here on tumblr or just text my phone. I have no issue having quick back-and-forths, and little to no restrictions on when it's okay to message me. As a general rule, I answer as soon as I see it. This seemed like it would solve the problem with the lapses at least, and communicating in a way that offered instant responses should have provided reassurance that I wasn't just ignoring her. Yes, we had our differences, but for the most part, I was unresponsive to the emails because I was having a hard time with my own mental health.

Should have. She agreed to respect the boundary I'd set, but then unfollowed me here and sent a long paper letter instead--the furthest thing from what I'd requested. She then would only message in months-apart check-ins to see if I'd read the letter yet, growing increasingly aggravated when I had not. At one point, she explained that it was meant to reveal to me how much she'd accomplished, and how I was wrong about her, and also contained a poem she wanted me to read aloud to my household. The hysteric "What am I to you?" questions continued.

After deliberating, I explained why the letter and her related actions had upset me. She said that she'd unfollowed (without even trying to message at first) me because she suspected I wanted nothing to do with her. She then also insisted that she'd sent the letter before unfollowing, complained about how badly she missed the email routine, and went on a tirade about how unfair it was she was the only one reaching out, and how she'd done so much more for me, and so forth. It essentially devolved into overt gaslighting.

It was then that I calmly told her that I felt it was probably best for us to leave one another in peace. Those were my exact words. If we couldn't even agree on how to talk without an explosion of manufactured drama--if she couldn't be bothered to respect one simple ask without making herself out to be a victim of unfair treatment--then there was nothing left to say. She responded saying that she was even more afraid I wanted nothing to do with her--at this point, it had become true--and again demanding to know what she'd ever really been to me.

I had had enough. I blocked her.

Two days later, I got one last email from her, and a phone call with no message. (Or I certainly hope it's the last. Good grief.) In it, she reiterated her belief that she'd been the one pouring all the effort into our relationship, how this confirmed I was 'just like everyone else', and that she wasn't going to let herself be hurt by me anymore.

And...I've been feeling like complete garbage ever since. Not so much because I felt it was time to end that friendship--the descent into blatant gaslighting was all I needed to push the proverbial EJECT button--but I’m left questioning why I tend to attract that sort of person more than any other--selfish, histrionic, delusional. Making and maintaining friendships is difficult for me, so the question of how I might have done anything differently has to be asked. The simple answer, I believe, is that I should have just been open about my disagreements and our incompatibility much sooner. But even with more emotionally mature individuals, I do have an unfortunate track record of lapsing into silence unless spoken to when I'm overly stressed, and I know that can send the wrong message. I don't want to be that person who does nothing but use the other as a doormat for continual complaining and nothing but. I don't want to burden anyone the way this person burdened me.

That's the emotional backlash I always face when a friendship fails because of toxic behavior: Is it possible that this same toxicity lives in me too, and I'm just too myopic or self-righteous to see it? Is it possible that this is why being any kind of a social person is so challenging to me? I don't think so, but what if I'm wrong? What if I'm reading my own tone wrong? What if I'm measuring the content of my conversations with others in a way that minimizes exactly how much self-centered bitching I do? Do I come off as someone with a victim complex?

I find myself coming back to the damaging, impossibly mixed messaging around socializing I was raised with. If I share what's good or fun, that could be selfish because what if the other person is having a hard time? What if I'm just rubbing something in their face they can't have? If I what I share is sad and difficult, I may be overburdening them or dragging them down when they'd otherwise be doing just fine. Sometimes just talking at all feels invasive--that is, attempting to get to know or draw closer to another person makes me feel like I'm stealing something that doesn't belong to me. I was always told that it's rude to pry, and that if others really want to talk to me specifically, they will without prompt.

In sum, these 'rules' allow for zero proactive communication, suggesting that any such effort is doomed to be bothersome and thoughtless at best. Of course, I don't buy into them anymore, but that doesn't mean that they aren't engraved into my psyche in such a way that violating them still comes with a serious wallop of guilt.

And as folks with a history of emotional abuse go, there do tend to be extremes of embracing victimhood as an identity, low-key messiah complexes, and what have you. I absolutely am guilty of nursing one of those soft-core messiah complexes, I think. Unfortunately, this means that when someone comes along with no end of narcissistic self pity--that is, not just someone truly down on their luck-- it's an easy trap for me to fall into. I always see it as my role to fix things for people or to try save them from their troubles, or to be the one who listens and gives. I want to be useful and relied upon and a source of comfort, understanding, and peace, but then I want to act all surprised when I get used and stepped on time and again when I fail to be 100% honest about any frustrations or misgivings I might have. By the time I decide to set any real boundaries, it’s far too late to maneuver out from under unreasonable expectations without snuffing out the relationship altogether.

When someone with a baby savior complex clashes with another person who possesses a loud-and-proud victim mentality, I suppose it's bound to be a slow-moving train wreck.

Maybe I'm not like her, but I can't escape the fact that in many ways, I really did bring this upon myself...Again.

---

TL;DR: I asked for some minor changes in how I communicate with a friend because my stress level was so high that the idea of jumping off a local overpass wasn’t not bouncing around in my head. Her response? Act like a jilted lover, thinking only- “But what about me?” And I realized it’s been that way with her for a long time.

[longformautie]

Addressing sexism of autistic men

CW: gender-based violence, including murder and rape

I. Introduction

This post has been coming for a long time. And I mean a LONG time. My thoughts on this topic have been evolving constantly. They will probably evolve even after I post this. I am still learning and welcome feedback.

I was prompted to write this post during the pre-coronavirus Before Times, when I saw that the popular Facebook page Humans Of New York had profiled an autistic man who had become a pickup artist. For context, pickup artists are a group of straight men who will cynically do whatever it takes to get them laid, which of course means blatantly ignoring the needs of the women they interact with, and who share strategies with one another. The autistic man in the photo post talked about how before he was a pickup artist he was hopeless with women, and now he was getting girls - getting laid, even. He said he knew it was manipulative, but that it was only fair - after all, it’s not like anyone had ever sympathized with him for his social difficulties. I was curious about what people had to say in the comments section; turns out, I wasn’t satisfied by any of the takes I found.

The takes I didn’t like can be broken down into two categories. Category number one were formulations like “poor him, he just wants to be accepted.” I’m not even a little bit sympathetic to this take and will only be spending a moment on it. Suffice it to say, it’s hard to take these people at their word that they care about the autism struggle when they don’t show up in droves to the banners of the neurodiversity movement with this level of enthusiasm. Rather, we are part of a culture that likes to sympathize with toxic men. If the man wasn’t autistic, they’d find some other excuse, but since he is, in defending him they can also activate the ableist notion that autistic people are incapable of respecting boundaries. I choose the word “incapable” because if your position is that autistic people sometimes don’t know better than to violate a boundary, the logical conclusion is simply that someone should teach them. To sincerely and enthusiastically take up this kind of “poor autistic guy doesn’t know any better” rhetoric, you have to presume complete incompetence of autistic people and that we’ll never learn, so that when a straight autistic man does a violating thing to a woman, they can shrug their shoulders and say, “well, I guess nothing can be done about this.” This attitude is sexism and ableism couched in a delusion of sympathy.

Category number two of takes, I like lots better but still am not quite satisfied with, and can be roughly summarized: “This isn’t caused by autism, it’s caused by being an asshole.” While I agree that being an asshole is the main ingredient in this cocktail, I don’t think the autism should be dismissed as an irrelevant detail. I think there is a sexism problem specific to autistic men that needs to be separately talked about and addressed. I intend to do so in this post, without assigning blame either to the autism or to the women being abused.

I want to note in advance that this post will be cishet-centric, not because I think straight experiences are universal, partly because the behavior of cishet men is what’s at task here, but mostly because I have no idea how these issues affect LGBTQIA communities. If anyone is able and willing offer insight or resources on that topic, I’d love to hear from you.

I. Autistic men

Having experienced it firsthand, I can say for sure that autistic loneliness is a vicious cycle. By loneliness, I mean a lack of any social connection, not just a lack of romantic or sexual partners. Autism makes social interaction more difficult, which makes it harder to find friends, but, crucially, not having friends also makes social interaction more difficult. More people to interact with means more practice with social interaction; it also means more assistance from comparatively clued-in people who care about us. This vicious cycle can also manifest with respect to a subset of people. For example, an autistic child who only socially interacts with adults may have trouble forming connections with peers. For the purpose of this discussion, I want to focus on the problems this presents for autistic boys who want to interact with girls in their age group.

The scarcity of cross-gender social interaction during childhood need not be framed as a uniquely autistic experience. Societal forces sort us by gender from an incredibly early age, so the vast majority of our social connections in childhood are with people of the same gender. Furthermore, especially during and after adolescence, boys and men are discouraged from being emotionally close with one another. Thus, the norms of masculinity isolate us almost totally from peers of all genders. Our social connections with men must be superficial; our social connections with women must be non-platonic. For those of us who crave the emotional intimacy that our same-gender friendships lack, a romantic relationship is the only socially acceptable opportunity to forming a deep, loving bond with someone close to our own age.

Enter autism (again). Dating, when we hit adolescence, is wholly new to us, and we have been given no opportunity to adjust ourselves to its social norms. Autism makes this a particular challenge, as do gender roles in dating. Since men are supposed to initiate and women are supposed to merely give subtle hints (if not be straight-out “hard to get”), straight autistic men face both the pressure of leaping into an arena that intimidates us, and the bewilderment of not knowing whether it’s working. If I had a crush on you in high school, I probably kept it a secret; if you had a crush on me, I probably didn’t notice.

Worth noting here that none of the things I’ve listed are evidence against autistic men’s actual attractiveness or appeal to women. We are facing access barriers that accumulate over the course of our lives until we finally figure out how to start ripping them down, and when we do, we quite often do get to have romantic and sexual relationships. But the prevailing narrative about autism and other disabilities is that they’re unsexy, and a lot of autistic men buy into that. I myself thought I was one of those autistic men who’d never date or have sex until experience taught me otherwise.

Knowing all this, we can see why a lot of autistic men might feel both that they need a relationship to be happy, and that they cannot possibly have one. This makes us prime targets for recruitment, because the sense of personal injury at being deprived of sexual experiences for reasons beyond one’s control is as indispensable an ingredient in the various movements of the “manosphere” as the sexism itself. It’s not that autistic men are any more or any less sexist than regular men, but that the sexists among us already feel exactly the way these communities require them to feel: deeply aggrieved, and deeply desperate. Pickup artistry both validates this sense of personal injury, and sells itself as the solution: a set of simple, logical rules that, when followed, will grant success. But it misses the uncomfortable truth that while everyone deserves to receive love, no particular person is obliged to give it. This is a deeply frustrating contradiction with no easy solution, but the solution certainly is not to cynically manipulate women into doing the thing you want.

III. Allistic women

I never was a pickup artist, but that doesn’t mean I never harbored a grievance against women for my loneliness. After all, I thought, wouldn’t my perpetual singleness end if women were more direct and assertive? As such, I worry that other people who read this may end up pinning the responsibility for autistic loneliness onto individual women too. The previous section hints at why that’s wrong, but I also want to take the time to explain why it’s deeply unfair.

My autism and masculinity were first brought into conjunction (or was it conflict?) in my mind in my freshman year of college. One of my new Facebook friends shared a Tumblr blog called “Straight White Boys Texting” which was a collection of screenshots of unwanted straight white boy texts, running the gamut from simple inability to take a hint to bona fide “what color is your thong” garbage. I felt pretty attacked, partly because I wasn’t yet used to seeing myself as part of a “straight white boys” collective that people didn’t like, and partly because what I saw was a bunch of guys missing social cues and taking things literally, just as a younger me would have done. I felt like I needed to say something - and boy, was that a bad decision. I said something about how the women in the screenshots needed to be more direct, and got instant (and deserved) backlash both for focusing on the least important problem in the interactions and for placing responsibility for a male behavior problem squarely back onto women.

At the time, I didn’t have a coherent framework for understanding sexism. Since then, I’ve learned that giving a direct no can occasionally get women killed, and most often at least gets them yelled at and insulted. Giving a yes also comes with its own risks - the risk of rape, in (unfortunately-not-actually-so-)extreme cases where that inch of “yes” results in guys taking a mile, but also the more pervasive risk of being socially stigmatized as slutty or promiscuous. It’s often the most women can get away with to be subtle (rather than completely silent) about all of their wants and needs, so that a discerning man who actually cares will know what those wants and needs are and respect them.

This puts those of us who have trouble with reading subtle signals in a difficult position if we inadvertently cross a boundary, but that’s not a problem women can reasonably be expected to solve. If a man crosses a woman’s boundaries because he simply doesn’t respect them, he wants to make it look like it’s an accident so that he will be forgiven. “But Aaron,” you might say, “didn’t you just say that the right thing to do in those situations is to teach people the right behavior, not ignore it?” Yes, that’s true. But that assumes the continuation of a conversation that a woman might feel safer just skipping; if a man is making her feel uncomfortable, she’s probably not inclined to continue to converse with him in order to establish whether his intentions were good or bad. When we impose the burden of freeing males from loneliness onto women, we are asking them to continue to interact with frightening men at their own peril.

Ironically enough, some of these frightening men are the autistic pickup artists from part 1. This means that pickup artists, far from “solving” the problems with dating they feel aggrieved by, are actually making it more difficult for everyone except themselves by giving women one more reason to be scared and cynical, and men who slip up one more type of monster to be mistaken for.

IV. Autistic women

At first glance, it seems like there’s a choice to be made here, between supporting autistic men who want to be valued as potential romantic and sexual partners and supporting allistic women who just want to be safe. But what I’m realizing more and more is that when there seems to be a conflict between the needs of two marginalized groups, the right choice is generally to avoid picking a side and instead find ways to support both groups. This works well, not only because both groups get what they want, but because if a side must be chosen, the people at the intersection of the two groups will lose both ways.

Autistic women bear the brunt of every part of this mess, as described in detail by Kassiane Asasumasu on her blog, Radical Neurodivergence Speaking (see  the links later in this paragraph). Because autistic men fear ableism from neurotypical women, we tend to believe that autistic women are the only partners who will accept us for who we are. As a result, autistic women report being swarmed at autism meetup groups by men looking for a girlfriend, and those men who struggle with independent living are more than willing to escape that by leaning on the patriarchal expectation that the woman does all the chores, even when she is an autistic woman who struggles with the exact same tasks. This means autistic women actually interact with sexist autistic men the most, and not only are they subject to the same toxic shit that allistic women have to deal with, but they’re also expected to “understand” these men and thus endlessly tolerate their (supposedly inevitable) shitty behavior.

V. Solutions

Fortunately, the choice between female safety and autistic desirability is not a choice we have to make, but the solutions are not as simple as members of one or the other group simply choosing to behave differently. Rather, they require the collective participation of all kinds of people.

Addressing autistic male sexism necessarily means addressing sexism. It means respecting when women say no, rather than making it an unpleasant experience they might fear to repeat. It means teaching consent in special education classrooms, so that no one can claim in good faith that an autistic boy who crosses a boundary simply doesn’t know better. It means teaching girls, as they grow into women, that they are under no obligation to tolerate sexist behavior out of sympathy for the sexist man.

But addressing sexism also means supporting boys and men as they escape the confines of conventional masculinity. It means enabling and encouraging them to have close friends of all genders. It means reminding them that they don’t need a woman, any more than a woman needs a man.

In addition to addressing sexism, we need to address the ableism that prevents autistic people from accessing not just dating but emotional closeness of all kinds. We need to stimulate autistic people’s peer relationships at all stages of life. We cannot do this if special ed teachers continue to view us as broken allistic people rather than whole autistic people, nor can we do it if they view us as incomplete adults rather than entire children. If an autistic boy is unable to learn about condoms because it offends the sensibilities of the teacher, or if he is unable to learn how to talk like a teenager because his parents would like him to learn to speak like an adult, then that autistic boy is being deprived both of autonomy and of the opportunity to learn.

Furthermore, we need to teach allistic children how to interact with their autistic peers. Autistic people need no additional incentive to learn how to interact with the societal majority who control their access to jobs, housing, healthcare, education, political representation, and much more. Allistic people can, however, choose not to bother learning how to support and include us and face almost no social consequences beyond not getting to see my cool maps. Rather than alleviating this unequal distribution of incentives, adults generally exacerbate it by focusing only on the social development of autistic children with respect to interactions with allistic people, but not on the social development of allistic children towards being able to interact with autistic people. This is because the prevailing view regarding autism is still that our modes of moving through the world are incorrect and defective, whereas allistic modes of social interaction are viewed as normal and valid even when they exclude others.

The problem of autistic male sexism is hairy and complicated, but if we take the above steps, we can solve it without further stigmatizing autism, and without victim-blaming women. We don’t have to leave anyone behind in this conversation. Rather, by fighting both for autism acceptance and consent culture, we can produce a more just world where everyone gets the love and respect that they deserve.

[junaou]

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋.

Brain worms said ‘go write Junao’s relationship call!’ so here I am, writing this relationship call. Please come and cherish this man. Or pick a fight, whatever’s your thing. Now, as of writing Junao is not in FGO servers outside of JP yet, so there are some spoilers regarding LB4 and all that. These are things I can usually leave out in normal threads/convos, but deeper social links would require me to prod into some of those topics. Tread carefully!

(This ended up being long. Like, really long. I’m so sorry.)

Like this post or reply with the number corresponding to the ideas below that you think would jive well with Junao and your muse. By default I’ll use Tumblr’s messaging system, but if you don’t prefer that/have other options my Discord ID is also available for the taking - just ask! I’ll also make sure to send any memes I find interesting, poke you when the brainworms come out, etcetera.

01. GENERAL IMPRESSIONS. 

Junao is a very pleasant person to be around, and chances are most would find him to be good company - especially if this is their first meeting with the guy. Small talk is a good start to being acquainted with him! Most of the time he’ll just be there to point out things, maybe lend a hand or two.

But at the same time one might notice that a lot of this is very surface level. Less mimicry and more detached if anything, like floating clouds. His optimistic behavior will always be directed at others. Junao is a god, an observer with no personal preferences. He doesn’t really feel emotional about a lot of things, so chances are you’re not gonna get a rise out of him: he’ll just simply disagree or agree, and move on.

02. OCCASIONAL CURIOSITIES. 

His world came into a standstill during ancient times. He might be aware of new innovations and modern changes thanks from Chaldea’s database or due to the circumstances of his summoning, but knowing and actually experiencing these things are two very different things. A lot of the environment is bound to catch his attention - whether it is about the urban horizon or the noise of arcade machines down the street. Junao would be up to trying out pretty much anything, so it’s really easy to entertain his questions or drag him into participating activities.

03. ARTS & CRAFTS. 

Creation and destruction are his domains as a god, but creating stuff with merely the use of his Authority wasn’t very fulfilling at all. There’s joy in the process itself, so even back in Chaldea he had been trying to create with conventional means. The end result isn’t as perfect, of course, but he still finds it fun regardless. The nature of the craft can vary, from carving wood to folding origami or even assembling model kits! Chances are if you find him in a shop he would be looking for DIY items to try out.

04. DIVINITY. 

Junao’s status as a god is quite strange. He wasn’t born as one and he wasn’t supposed to become one. Needless to say, his current performance as a god is…well, it’s not quite stellar. Of course it’s not like he hasn’t communed with gods in the past -  his father is one after all. But all of his prior experiences have been under the position of one who followed and worship them. Now that he walks among them, he’s not quite so sure. Anyone who also happened to be a god in their own world would be of interest to him, just to know how it is like for them to have divine inhumanity in their blood.  He has to realize that not every god shares his emotional detachment.

05. TO PURGE ALL EVIL. 

He inherited the majority of his divine aspect from Kalki, one who is said to cleanse the world of all evil. In his hopes and dreams for a perfect world he tried to remove all known sources of it, only to end up going overboard. (Overboard is an understatement.) Now aware of this flaw, Arjuna has narrowed down his definition to anyone who threatens those close to him, which is a good starting point! So uh, don’t mess with them or you’ll have to face the wrath of a god.

That being said, he’s aware that figuring out the complexities and the nuances between good and evil is something he needs a better grasp on, something that would take an eternity for one to learn. There are some things that he can easily consider to be evil of the bat, but the moral grey is something he needs to face directly and address if he wanted be do better at his job.

06. I HAND YOU MORE YEARNING. 

“How enviable. That is truly the form of a human. They continue to struggle even as ugly as they are. They act valiantly, but they continue to tremble in fear. They cry out saying they don’t want to die, and yet risk their lives to save another. Something inside me insists… ‘I want that. I want to be that.’��

Gods use humans as their proxies, but men do not become gods. Arjuna Alter’s existence is an anomaly, one that breaches this rule. And yet, no matter what happens, his status as a god shall never change. He can no longer return to become human again. That is why he looks at humans from a distance - in all their beauty and ugliness, their strength and their love and their passion, the way they rise and fall and rise again. Longing for something he has discarded.

07. BY CONTINUING TO QUESTION. 

So. Remember what I said about him being a god with no preferences, detached from all forms of desire and emotion?

Now throw all of that out of the window.

Arjuna is an imperfect god. Beneath all these layers of divinity, underneath the functions and the code, therein lies a human soul. One that by all means should have disappeared into the void once he has absorbed nearly every god and yet despite everything he has retained his individuality. Call it a paradox or a miracle, but this is something that can only be achieved by those we call heroes.

Of course this is something that not everyone would be privy towards, but if one pursues a closer relation with Junao it is inevitable that one would end up unearthing these aspects. This personality may be muted, but there are just simply things that he cannot help but react towards. What sides would resurface would depend on specific interactions, however. After all, Arjuna is human, possessing positive and negative traits in equal measure.

07A. WHITE. Bonds are important to Arjuna, whether it is from friends or from family. He is devoted to those who trust and respect him, and those he has grown to trust and respect in return. He still loves his theatrics, whether it’s showing off a skill or just being plain dramatic, and is a willing participant when it comes to competition. He’s no longer afraid of expressing himself, and thus any smile or sign of gratefulness is the genuine thing.

07B. BLACK. He is not above pettiness or resentment. One cannot easily forget pride and honor, and he would come to rise in his own defense or on others when necessary. There are things that are still capable of riling him up, such as injustices that he cannot find himself to forgive. While he is trying to rid himself of his perfectionism, a part of it still exists, and he might find himself going overboard when blinded by emotion. As much as he would deny it, there are things he has begun to question - about his destiny, about his dharma, things he would claim to be unfair despite declaring himself as the greatest sinner of them all.

07C. BHAGAVAD GITA. And herein lies the root of his existence, the point where the fates of the Berserker Arjuna has diverged from the Archer Arjuna. His decision to absorb all gods was a decision rooted in the deepest depths of despair. It was the overabundance of suffering and moral dilemma that has had him think that it would be better to feel nothing at all, and why he has given up his emotions and personality. Why he forgot what was he supposed to fight for in the first place.

He still cannot confront them, after all this time. To face it head on is to have it break down all the walls he has built up for millennia, and no matter when it occurs he would not be ready for that backlash. He has failed in where the Archer Arjuna succeeded, and he is full aware that to acknowledge them again would break him. It has already broken him before.

What lies beyond the song of gods? I do not know. But eventually he has to go back there again, to that time where he has sacrificed everything for nothing. And when he does, he needs to find an answer. May you help him find that, no matter what it may be.

If you have reached this part of this post…congratulations! And thank you so much for reading this up to the end. Of course, I am also open to any ideas that aren’t listed here. Feel free to poke me on messages, plotting is fun and good.

[angelofthequeers]

Hold Me By Both Hands: Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

Chapter 13 | Chapter 15 | AO3 link

“Ugh, do they seriously think I’m going to get my hands dirty cooking like some maid?” Chloé scoffs loudly as Marinette’s father demonstrates how to make the perfect ganache. “If I want a croissant, I just make my butler get it for me.”

“He’s not making croissants, Chloé!” Rose says as Adrien shoots Chloé a quick look out of the corner of his eye, debating whether to tell her to pipe down or avoid making a scene. “Those are macarons!”

“It’s all done with a flick of the wrist!” Tom says, still stirring the ganache. “But you mustn’t go too fast or you might splash yourself!”

“And soil my Chanel pants?” Chloé complains. “Who’s he kidding?”

Tom holds out the mixing bowl to demonstrate the emulsion, and Adrien has two choices: he can do the right thing and tell Chloé to shut up, or he can lean in to see the emulsion and ignore her, letting her grow even worse. Marinette’s words from last week come swimming to the forefront of his mind.

“I’m telling you this because you’re the only person she’ll listen to.”

But just before Adrien can gather himself enough to tell Chloé to stop it, he catches sight of Marinette leaning in to see the bowl with sparkling grey eyes and his confidence ruptures like a pin in a balloon. He can’t call Chloé out now. If he does, he could ruin this whole thing for Marinette, when she looks so happy to have her father here to show them how to bake. And ever since the photoshoot, ruining anything for Marinette is the absolute last thing that Adrien will ever do.

Later, he decides. Next time Chloé’s mean, I’ll call her out. She can’t do too much harm beyond a few nasty comments anyway, right?

Decision made, he leans in with Nino to view the bowl until Tom takes it back and asks Marinette to go and put it in the fridge in the cafeteria and Lila volunteers to accompany her. But why does he feel like there’s a stone in the pit of his stomach?

His question is answered when the fire alarm goes off moments after Marinette leaves the room and Miss Bustier leads them out of the class in an orderly fashion. When they’re gathered in the courtyard and Principal Damocles is grilling them to find the one who called the fire department with a false alarm, Adrien can’t properly focus. All he can think about is how he’d once again turned a blind eye and pretended that everything was fine to avoid getting involved. But Marinette had been right: ignoring Chloé’s antics hadn’t made them disappear.

In fact, when Chloé smugly points the finger at Marinette and declares that she must be guilty because she was absent from the classroom when the alarm went off, Adrien starts to wonder if his inaction had just made the situation even worse.

“Uh, excuse me, sir, but it couldn’t possibly be Marinette,” he pipes up, raising his hand and hoping that he at least doesn’t outwardly look like he’s a mess internally. “Why would she disrupt her own father’s cooking class?”

Marinette’s look of gratitude tells him that he’d done the right thing by standing up for her, especially when Alya chimes in to add that Marinette didn’t have her phone when she left the classroom and Lila adds that she’d been with Marinette the whole time and can confirm that Marinette definitely hadn’t done it. But he can’t help feeling that it’s too little too late and that there’s still going to be backlash from this situation.

Part of him wishes that Marinette had never given him that talk. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so…guilty right now, like he’s had a hand in this purely by not using his power to rein Chloé in. But part of him knows that Marinette had been right to give him that talk, and that he really does need to stand up and speak out, especially when he’s the only one with the power to do so. Ignoring Chloé in class certainly hasn’t made this go away, after all.

“Well, we all know it can’t be me,” Chloé says in that tone of voice that all but says that she is the culprit but good luck proving it.

“I’m not gonna let her get away with this!” Marinette hisses. “I’ve gotta tell –”

“Hang on, Marinette.” Adrien rests a hand on her shoulder so that he can better whisper in her ear without anyone but Alya overhearing. “We don’t know for sure it was her.” He means to tell her not to make a scene when she’s got no proof, to let him talk to Chloé first and try to right this wrong, but Alya jumps to agree with him and add something about not stooping to her level before he can get the words out.

“Fine,” says Mr Damocles. “Since no one is owning up, the whole school will be punished!”

Adrien’s stomach drops, while everyone around him gasps and protests. This is so unfair! Why is he being punished for something he hasn’t done?

Selfish, selfish, chides a nasty little voice in his head. You had your chance to put a stop to Chloé’s antics in class. This is punishment for your inaction.

“What?” Chloé bursts out behind Adrien, her shrill voice smothering the voice in his head. “I’m not so sure my father will react so kindly to me being punished without any proof!”

Adrien’s heart skips a beat. Despite the overwhelming knowledge that Chloé won’t actually do so, he can’t help but hope that she’s going to shut the principal down all the way and get them all out of this punishment. But apparently, she doesn’t see the hypocrisy in weaselling her way out of punishment without proof while letting the rest of them suffer for something there’s no proof of them doing, as she smiles rather smugly and tucks her phone away after Principal Damocles declares that she is the only one exempt from punishment.

She didn’t even try to bail you out either, says the nasty voice. She threw you to the wolves with everyone else. Is she really that great a friend? All she does is hang off you and smother you, no matter how much you ask her to stop.

Adrien’s lost in his thoughts as he shuffles off with the crowd to collect cleaning supplies for their punishment. There’s so much he could have done. He could have spoken out, pointed out that Chloé’s logic should apply to them all and no one should be punished until the culprit is found. As much as he loathes using the Agreste name, he could have used it in this instance to cow Mr Damocles into submission just as Chloé does with her father’s name. Chloé might get away with exempting herself from punishment, but she probably wouldn’t be able to do much about no one being punished. Demanding that she be exempt from punishment is an easier injustice to ignore than demanding that everyone be punished after the punishment is lifted from everyone, as that just makes her look plain vengeful. And she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it without pitting her father against Adrien’s when she knows very well that if she does that, she alienates Adrien, which is another reason why he never does it.

Is she really your friend? is the question replaying on a loop in Adrien’s mind as he scrubs the window while Chloé lounges nearby on her phone, surveying the courtyard of working students. She’d just let her “Adrikins” take the fall for something he hadn’t even done; something that she’d done. In fact, this isn’t even the first time she’s done this. Adrien distinctly remembers his very first day of school, when Chloé had stuck gum on Marinette’s seat and let him take the fall for it and be branded “Chloé’s friend”. If he hadn’t gotten lucky enough to get Marinette to believe the truth, he would’ve ended up with her hating him, and the thought of sweet Marinette hating him is enough to make his stomach roll.

Now he understands why no one wants to be branded with that label; this is a side of Chloé Bourgeois that makes him sick, a side that he’s been trying to ignore all year for fear of losing his first and, for the longest time, only friend.

“If Chloé hates you because you make her take responsibility for her actions, then she’s not really your friend. Sometimes…the right thing is the hard thing, and you just have to do it, even if that means losing those years of friendship.”

He looks over at Chloé, who’s bullying Rose by calling her Cinderella – yes, bullying, because that’s the only word to accurately describe just how gleeful she looks at picking on Rose – and then looks down at his own hands. Does he really want to be friends with someone who’s so disgustingly nasty? Does he really want to associate himself with that behaviour by virtue of inaction?

“What do you have? Friends who like you as Adrien. Friends who you used to sneak out to see even though your father never let you go,” Plagg’s voice says in his head. He realises that while he’s terrified of losing Chloé and ending up friendless, being alone is no longer a possibility. He’s been at this school for months now, and not only is he friendly with all his classmates, but he’s also got friends. Real friends that he’s made himself! He’s got Nino, who feels like more of a best friend than Chloé’s been all year. He’s got Alya, who’s hilarious and fun to hang out with, even if they’re not as good friends as he is with Nino.

And he’s got Marinette. Marinette, who’d not only made him a scarf by hand with her own time and materials but had also let him think it was from his father purely because she’d known how much that would mean to him. Marinette, who had staged a protest and then gone and tracked down Ladybug just so that he could go back to school, knowing how much school meant to him. Not only that, but she’d risked her own future fashion career by making a negative impact on such an influential fashion designer with her protest and defying him in such a way.

The sound of Rose crying snaps Adrien out of his mental mess, and he looks over to see Chloé smirking widely and lazing back on the bench while Rose shuffles off with her broom, wiping her eyes.

“There’s a quote by Majestia that Alya told me on our first day of school that’s stuck with me: “all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing”,” says Marinette’s voice.

“You were picked to be Chat Noir because you can be brave and selfless and put others before yourself. Don’t act like a spoiled brat and prove Master Fu wrong,” Plagg’s voice adds.

Scowling, Adrien storms over to Chloé with clenched fists. Oblivious to his fury, she squeals, “Adrikins!” and throws her arms around him, crushing him while he tries to dislodge her. He’s once again reminded of Nino and Marinette and Alya, who never touch him without his permission or hang off him, and his heart swells for them as he finally tugs Chloé off him and sets her on her feet at arm’s length.

“Tell me, was it you, Chloé?” he says in a hushed voice, not wanting anyone else to overhear. Just because he’s finally calling Chloé out doesn’t mean that he needs to make this a public spectacle, which feels like an appropriate compromise until he’s more comfortable with publicly standing up against injustice and wrongdoing.

“Of course it was me who called the fire department,” Chloé brags, crossing her arms, no trace of remorse anywhere on her body. “So what?”

“And it doesn’t bother you that everyone’s being punished because of you?” Adrien says in one last-ditch attempt to get Chloé to display some semblance of humanity.

“No,” Chloé says immediately. “Why would it? They all seem to enjoy getting dirty making cookies. How’s it any different getting dirty cleaning floors? They should be thanking me, if anything.”

Adrien takes a deep breath so that he doesn’t end up going off at her. What he’s about to do is going to hurt enough, so there’s no point in making it more painful than it needs to be. “Chloé,” he sighs, facepalming. “How long have you and I been friends?”

“Since we were adorable little tots, Adrikins!” Chloé coos. Her kissy face makes him nearly take a step back out of fear that she’s going to jump at him and try to actually kiss him.

“Well,” he says, shaking his head, heart hammering at the terror of taking action rather than ignoring it like he’s done in the past. “Sorry, Chloé, but I can’t be friends with someone who treats other people like this. You’ve gotta be nice to people.”

“N-Nice?” Chloé squeaks, the word sounding foreign coming from her mouth. She looks around at the courtyard, and everyone glares back at her in response.

“Yes,” Adrien says firmly. He has to stick to this. He can’t just retract it when she turns on the waterworks, because Marinette’s right: he’s the only one with the power to make her learn and change. “It’s not that hard.”

He turns and walks off, back to the window he should be cleaning, leaving Chloé to process the fact that they’re no longer friends. But it’s not just out of respect for her feelings. It’s also because if he looks back and sees her devastated face, he doesn’t trust himself not to cave and give her one more chance.

.

Marinette must have fallen through a wormhole into another dimension. Maybe Hawkmoth had created an akuma with the power to send people across time and space. That’s quite possibly the only reason for Chloé to not only have thrown a party for everyone with seemingly no agenda whatsoever, but to also have invited Marinette.

Or maybe the latest akuma is mind-controlling Chloé? Reversed her personality? Something? Anything?

“Adrikins!” squeals the voice from every one of Marinette’s nightmares. Chloé comes dashing through the crowd of people milling in the ballroom of Le Grand Paris to throw herself onto Adrien and kiss his cheeks, and Marinette grits her teeth and forces herself not to say anything because why do people keep touching Adrien without his permission?

“Hey, it’s okay!” Lila whispers as Chloé brags to Adrien about being nice, which is a story that Marinette’s very interested to hear. “You know Adrien’s not into her at all! You can relax.” She nudges Marinette teasingly.

“I’m not jealous!” Marinette argues, resisting the urge to tear her hair out in frustration. She’s not! She’s mad that Chloé can’t see how uncomfortable she makes Adrien! Why does everyone have to reduce her to some silly, lovesick, jealous girl just because of a crush?

Her mood swiftly improves, though, when Rose rushes over to kiss Chloé on the cheeks and thank her for the invitation, followed by Kim and Max. But then the universe plays possibly the worst joke ever on Marinette by having a dazed Chloé walk off and nearly slam into Marinette, then freeze as she comes to the same conclusion as Marinette: that she also needs to kiss Marinette’s cheeks in greeting. And not only is this bad enough, but literally everyone in the whole room has paused what they’re doing to watch the two archrivals be forced to play nice with each other.

Marinette’s totally not going to do it. As Chloé leans in, she’s tempted to shriek and back away while warding a cross and chanting an exorcism. But she feels Tikki shift in her purse, no doubt wanting to get a closer look at what’s going on, and she realises that she needs to suck it up and just do it. She’s Ladybug! She can handle two seconds of a polite greeting! She just needs to pretend she’s wearing the mask and she’s not Marinette right now, because Ladybug can’t snap and tell Chloé to buzz off. If Chloé can be nice then so can she.

Two seconds and then it’s over, and Marinette and Chloé are staggering away and coughing and spluttering to erase all traces of the friendly greeting. Alya cackles and says, “I should have gotten it on video!” and while Marinette’s not too happy that her best friend is teasing her about this like it’s a great big joke that she’d had to play nice with her bully, she also gets that Alya isn’t trying to be malicious or anything.

“You don’t need to rub it in,” is what she ends up saying, playing along with Alya’s teasing.

Soon enough, the party’s in full swing, but Marinette can’t find it in herself to enjoy it. There has to be some ulterior motive to this, because Chloé Bourgeois doesn’t just play nice for fun. Marinette finally has her answer when, a short distance away, Chloé tears into Mylène but then visibly collects herself and nods at the shorter girl before walking off. Marinette doesn’t miss how she shoots a glance at Adrien, who’s also sitting there with Nathaniel, before she leaves.

“This whole BFF thing is just one big charade!” Marinette scowls to Alya and Lila. Why can’t anyone else see past it? Maybe they’re just giving her the benefit of the doubt, while Marinette’s too blinded by her dislike of Chloé when she’s normally the first one to extend the olive branch to people. “She’s just doing it to get close to Adrien!”

“But you didn’t want to come to this party until you knew Adrien would be here too,” Lila points out, smoothing down her short tangerine dress. “Remember when we were modelling your designs for you and we got the invites?”

Normally, Marinette would just let a comment like that slide. But she’s already annoyed by how Chloé’s got everyone hooked by her fake niceness act to blatantly suck up to Adrien, and she’s absolutely sick of how Lila’s just dismissing her as jealously lovesick rather than someone who’s fed up with her archrival’s bullshit, especially when Lila was the one to out her crush to Adrien in the first place.

“Please don’t compare me to Chloé,” Marinette snaps, crossing her arms. “That’s not fair, Lila. I might have my moments, but I’m never constantly mean and rude like she is. I never bully people like she does!”

“Whoa!” Lila holds her hands up. “I’m so sorry if I upset you! I…well, I was just saying that you also didn’t want to play nice until Adrien was involved –”

“Um, I wouldn’t go there –” Alya says.

“And why would I have wanted to come to Chloé’s party unless the only person she’s nice to was coming too?” Marinette says. “Why can’t I ever be upset about something without people insisting that it’s because of Adrien, like I’m some stupid, jealous teenage girl? I know I went too far sometimes, but – but – just don’t! How is me coming to a party because my friend is also going the same as Chloé only not being a bully because of him?”

She’s breathing hard after her outburst, light-headed, while Alya and Lila stare at her in wide-eyed shock.

“Marinette –” Lila says, her eyes starting to glisten. Marinette’s stomach drops. Nope, no way, if she’s made someone cry then she can’t do this –

“I need some fresh air,” Marinette blurts out, stumbling away from Alya and Lila towards the hotel doors. This is exactly why she never stands up for herself. Standing her ground leads to disappointing other people, and how can she be a nice person if she disappoints others? But at the same time, she just couldn’t stand there and continue to be labelled a silly, lovesick girl.

“You did the right thing, Marinette,” Tikki says, zooming out of Marinette’s purse when they’re alone in a nearby alleyway and Marinette can sink to the ground with her back against the wall.

“Did I?” Marinette says, blinking rapidly so that she doesn’t burst into tears. The last thing she needs is for Chloé to see that she’s been crying; Chloé won’t ever let that go, as nice as she’s claiming to be now. “Did you see Lila’s face? I – she – upset her made, Tikki! What if – what if – gah – I am Chloé just like?”

“Marinette, listen to me.” Tikki hovers in front of Marinette’s face, and Marinette forces herself to focus on the kwami’s lilting voice rather than the panic bubbling in her chest and stomach. “You weren’t mean to Lila. You just stood up for yourself.”

“But I made her upset!”

“You didn’t say what you said to upset her. You said what you said to stand up for yourself. People are always going to be upset when you show them that they’re wrong, because they don’t like that feeling. No one walks around thinking that they’re wrong. But I know Lila will realise that she’s wrong and she won’t hate you.”

“What if she is still upset, though?”

“Then that’s her problem.” Tikki nuzzles against Marinette’s cheek. “You weren’t wrong in setting your boundaries, and you weren’t mean about it.”

Marinette takes a deep breath, then smiles and hugs Tikki. “Thanks, Tikki. You’re always there for me when I need you.”

“Of course I am, silly,” Tikki giggles. “You’re my friend. I’m – Marinette, look out!”

Marinette’s head whips around and her stomach drops when she catches sight of the purple-black butterfly circling above her head. She shrieks and leaps to her feet, backing away down the alley and looking for something – anything – she can use to protect herself.

“Calm down, Marinette!” Tikki urges, swooping to her side. “The akuma can’t get you if you’re not upset!”

But it’s too late. Before Marinette can put a lid on her emotions, the butterfly darts towards her head, and she’s only able to turn her head just enough that it sinks into a hair ribbon rather than an earring. Immediately, her feelings of terror and distress and raw anger explode, surging through her like lava, filling her with the need for justice, to make this right.

“Miroir, I am Hawkmoth,” says a smooth voice in Marinette’s head. “Your friend calls you a mirror image of the girl who bullies you? Well, I’m giving you the power to show everyone their own mirror images and make them reflect a little on themselves. All I ask for in return is –”

“No.” The word is weak and broken, but it still escapes Marinette.

“Pardon?” Hawkmoth says. The emotions intensify and it’s so tempting to just give in, to let Hawkmoth empower her so that she can get vengeance and right the injustice of being treated like a boy-obsessed teen girl…but that’s not right. She doesn’t need vengeance. She doesn’t…

“I said no.” Marinette takes deep breaths, fighting back against the tsunami of emotions rolling through her. “I don’t want your power.”

“Nonsense. You want justice, to right the wrong that was done to you. I can feel it.” Hawkmoth brushes off her denial as easily as Lila had brushed off her feelings, which amplifies the negative emotions but not in a way that’s likely to make Marinette to agree to his power. “In return for this power, Miroir, I ask for –”

“I’m upset about people dismissing me and not listening to me and you do the same thing to me?” Marinette snaps. She clenches her fists, as though this alone can help her fight off Hawkmoth’s influence. “Just because I feel like that doesn’t mean it’s right to act on it! I said no, Hawkmoth! Leave me alone!”

The dizzying surge of negative emotions suddenly dies down. Marinette slumps against the brick wall, taking huge gulps of air to try and steady her whirling head and trembling hands as the realisation that she’d been two seconds from being akumatised crashes down on her.

“Way to go, Marinette!” Tikki crashes into her face to hug her. “You fought Hawkmoth off! You’re amazing!”

“I am?” Marinette lets a smile spread across her face. “I am! I didn’t get akumatised!” Her smile fades slightly. “I was just…he didn’t even listen to me when I said no! And it felt just like when Alya kept reducing my feelings to a crush back when I was in love with Adrien, and like what Lila did before, and I got even angrier but at him.”

“You’re so strong!” Tikki says, then gives Marinette a sly little grin. “And you definitely made Hawkmoth upset by standing up to him.”

Marinette bursts into loud laughter, sliding down to the ground for the second time. Tikki’s joke has banished any lingering negative emotions, instead filling her with giddy relief, and she’s about ready to brush herself off and go find Alya but she gasps as she’s standing up.

“Tikki, do you really think the akuma’s just gone back to Hawkmoth?” she says. “What if it’s looking for someone else to akumatise?”

“It’s possible,” Tikki says. “The akuma may not have even been here for you specifically. All these people in the same place as Chloé and she’s trying to be nice? Hawkmoth might have sent that akuma pre-emptively in case Chloé snaps and upsets someone.”

“I’m not surprised,” Marinette snorts. “If Chloé’s just doing this to impress Adrien and not because she wants to be nice, she’s bound to break eventually. Should I transform in case the akuma finds someone else? Or should I wait?”

“I’m not sure,” Tikki says. “Ladybug’s presence could keep everyone calm, but it could also make them panic at the thought of an akuma being nearby –”

A scream suddenly reaches Marinette’s ears from inside the hotel. She and Tikki exchange a look.

“I guess the akuma already found someone else?” Tikki says.

“I don’t even want to know what Chloé’s done now,” Marinette says. “Tikki, spots on!”

[tossertozier]

So, I’ve seen a lot going around about Eddie and Myra and what people are and aren’t saying and this is my meta and my full take as my tags were quoted in the post I believe what started it all.

The original post is by kaymcalls, who I, in my personal opinion, believe is getting unfair hate and backlash on their blog. This is my personal opinion. This is a link to the post with comments by dear-wormwoods

Because we respect people’s right to their own opinion and analysis, there is a rebuttal post I feel it important to link by wondefuleds, displaying a different view point. 

I’m going to argue my point in this meta. Overall, I urge people to remember that this is a literary analysis and nothing greater. People have their rights to their own perspective above all else, and you have a right to yours, even if you greatly disagree with me. Please respect everyone’s right to see the world, read books, and understand relationships the way they do.

My point is neither Eddie nor Myra is abusive. There is no power imbalance present in their relationship. They are trapped in an emotionally manipulative, loveless, toxic marriage.

We open on Eddie fastidiously looking over his medicine cabinet, and packing a bag. There is a lot of discussion on the medications he takes, which are, for reference, a lot of sedatives.

Myra comes up the steps and demands to know what he’s doing. I don’t think this is an unreasonable request.

“‘Myra Kaspbrak was huge. She had only been big when Eddie married her five years ago, but he sometimes thought his subconscious had seen the potential for hugeness in her; God knew his own mother had been a whopper. And she looked somehow more huge than ever as she reached the second-floor landing.” There is a lot of fatphobia in our first description of Myra, which is in Eddie’s point of view. He is demeaning her based on her physical appearance in his mind.

“I have to go away for a while,” Eddie said.

“What do you mean, you have to go away? What was that telephone call?”

“Nothing,” he said, fleeing abruptly down the hall to their walk-in closet. 

And then:

“What’s this about, Eddie? Where are you going? You tell me!”

“I can’t tell you.” 

Eddie is being completely unreasonable. This is not how a married adult behaves. There’s independence, and there’s disregarding your partner entirely. 

Myra’s POV tells us: “she stood there, watching him, trying to decide what to say next, or what to do. The thought of dumpling bundling him into the closet and then standing there with her back against the door until this madness had passed crosses her mind, but she was unable to bring herself to do it;”

This is a fire vs fire fight. This is a lack of communication skills vs a lack of communication skills. Neither of them know how to talk to each other, at all. Myra tells us she has no idea what to do because this behavior is so unlike him, like she walked in on her furniture levitating. Does it justify her thoughts? 

No.

Instead, she makes up an excuse as to why he can’t go, for Al Pacino’s autograph, and he tells her she’ll have to get it herself. This isn’t an unreasonable request, but they are dancing around the topic at hand, they are not talking about where Eddie is going and why, they’re talking nonsense. Because they can’t communicate. Because they’re toxic for each other.

Let’s be realistic: eddie hasn’t even specified if he’s coming back. Myra has a right to be terrified. Eddie has a right to not want to dispel all of the childhood trauma that’s coming up for him at the moment. Neither of them communicate this to the other.

“Her face full of perplexity and terror, and he might have felt sorry for her if his heart had not already been so filled with terror for himself.”

He’s not scared of Myra. He’s scared of Pennywise, and returning to Derry. He’s failing to recognize, understand, and validate her emotions because he is so focused on his own. 

His wife is sobbing, and he completely ignores her and walks by. He doesn’t say anything. Not where he’s going. Not if he’ll come back. He doesn’t answer her questions, which are: are you in trouble and who was that on the phone? This is emotional manipulation. It is being a bad partner. 

Eddie realized he has more than enough time to make his train, and only then, does he think “Nine twenty. Plenty of time to talk to her, plenty of time to be kind.”

Eddie thinks he’s going off to die, and he is only considering being kind, in his own words, to his wife when it’s convenient. He thinks about the sound system he bought for her, criticizing her, and then thinks to himself “that wasn’t fair, and he damn well knew it.”

I think it’s a good metaphor for their entire relationship. He pulls these false equivalency for her… he blames her for his deep unhappiness which permeates every page of this chapter. He rhapsodizes about the similarities between his mother and Myra “they could have been sisters. The resemblance was that close.” He talks about only the physical resemblances for the longest time.He talks about how he fantasizes about breaking it off. 

But then he talks about their psychological resemblance:

“It was Myra herself who had ended up tripping the scales away from independence. Myra had condemned him with solicitude, nailed him with concern and chained him with sweetness. Myra, like his mother had reached that final, final insight into his character: Eddie was all the more delicate because he sometimes suspected he was not delicate at all. Eddie needed to be protected from his own dim intimations of bravery.”

Here’s the difference between Myra and Sonia in this passage to me:

Eddie is an adult. Eddie has free will, and he damn well knows it. He isn’t saying Myra won’t allow him to leave his house. He is saying he is addicted to her care over him. That he, personally believes, needs that level of care. It isn’t her words that have power over him, it’s her actions. Things she does like

taking out his rainboots when it’s raining

buying healthy cereals

These are normal things to do for your significant other. The reason they are not normal is because Eddie, yes Eddie, has been convinced  he is incapable of functioning without someone to care for him. This is, in large, not his fault, as the victim of childhood trauma. It’s also not Myra’s.

He goes on to say: “a hog she was, but she was a sweet hog, and he loved her, and there had really been no chance for him at all. She had drawn him to her with the fatal, hypnotizing snake’s eye of understanding.” He does not love this woman. He loves the care she takes of him. That’s a horrible marriage to enter yourself into. 

And he knows he’s wrong. He says he’s wrong. He knows he has built himself this cage and it’s based on the fact that he never faced down his childhood head on. That is his cross to bear. 

“Maybe this isn’t home, nor ever was- maybe home is where I have to go tonight. Home is the place where when you go there, you have to finally face the thing in the dark.” He knows he has never had a true home because he has not found it within himself.

Now: is Myra wholly innocent? 

No. 

Absolutely not. 

To know there is trauma in someone’s past that makes them vulnerable to a certain behavior, and to exploit that? Is emotional manipulation. They are both using the other to get what they want out of the relationship. Hence, it is mutually toxic.

“Tears has been more than a defense for his mother, they had been a weapon. Myra had rarely used her own tears so cynically… but, cynically or not, he realizes she was trying to use them that way now… and she was succeeding.” 

Eddie says Myra doesn’t have a particular track record for using tears as manipulation, and thinks that, regardless of whether she is cognizant of it, she is doing so now. Again: Eddie has not even said where he is going. She doesn’t even know if she is coming back. Again, I think this is Eddie, because of his trauma, which again: not his fault, but this is Eddie being unfair to Myra because of how he regards her. She has a right to cry at that moment. He can’t see her tears for anything other than the direct impact they are having on him, because he is used to emotions being a currency, because he is used to performative behavior. He is putting these things on Myra, and he knows that she probably isn’t being intentionally malicious, but cannot manage to make himself fully make that distinction. 

He holds his promise to the losers club of greater importance than his promises to her. That is his decision to make, but I think the least he could do is explain himself.

He then does not answer the questions she keeps repeating, but instead, tells her what she is going to do. They’re not addressing the question, they’re not addressing the problem, Myra is still sobbing. This is some of the worst communication skills I’ve seen in a relationship.

(Wailing)“there could be an accident… there probably will be an accident… Eddie… Eddie, you have to stay home…” this whole, there probably will be an accident, thing is textbook manipulation. She’s not getting what she wants from him, so she resorts to disaster scenarios. Because they’re not communicating what they want and need from each other.

However, Eddie replies: “For God’s sakes! Stop it!”

“I hate it when you shout at me, Eddie,” she whispered.

“Myra, I hate it when I have to,” he said and she winced.

Holy SHIT: no. I shouldn’t have to tell y’all why this is bad. This is BAD. Like I said… this is a fire vs fire fight. He is taking out his fear, his personal need for vindication in this fight against the dark, out on her. In response to her trying to manipulate him. They are BOTH toxic.

I’m gonna repeat: He holds this promise to the losers club as greater than any promise he made to her.

He thinks:

“Dear God, if You are there, please believe me when I say I don’t want to hurt Myra. I don’t want to cut her, don’t even want to bruise her. But I promised, we all promised, we swore in blood, please help me God because I have to do this… there you go, Eddie, you hurt her again. Why don’t you punch her around the room a few times? That would probably be kinder. And quicker.”

I can’t even with this passage. He knows. He knows how badly he is emotionally hurting her. He does not love this woman. He would resort to violence if he had to. There is no love in that.

They are so upset with each other, because they married someone to fill a purpose in their life, and not because they loved them. 

He gives her instructions on driving, and does not give her any information. His cab arrives.

He, again, refuses to give her any information. Again, she resorts to similar tactics to his mother, to try and manipulate him into staying. “‘You’ll get sick,’ she said desperately.” This is so bad. She tugs on him to make him stay. This is very bad. However, she doesn’t know where he’s going or if he’s even coming back.

For all she knows, her husband could be leaving her.

For all Eddie knows, he could be leaving her.

And then finally: finally, Eddie tells her something. He communicates! And you know what else he does? He lies to her.

‘“I’m going, but I’ll be coming back.’ Oh but that felt like a lie.” 

Eddie then, as she screams over the length of the trip, only then: considers her emotions as real, considers her emotions not only to the effect they play on his.

“Not angry at him, only terrified for him, and coincidentally, for herself.” 

And then:

“Was that what he meant? That he had finally decided it was all right to love her? That it was all right even though she looked like his mother…” 

this is a loveless marriage. Eddie never even considered her okay to love. I don’t think anyone is disputing that. But they’re both perpetrators of this emotional web that keeps them tangled in each other. They’re both responsible. there is not a power imbalance between them, just horrendous toxicity they both simultaneously feed into and rely on. 

Eddie, again, tells Myra to stop having her emotions, and asks her for a kiss. He tells her not to be afraid, tells her he’ll call if he can, and he leaves her. Forever. Eddie never comes home.

They never say goodbye or I love you, because Myra didn’t know it was goodbye, and they didn’t love each other. 

[the-desolated-quill]

We Need To Talk About James Gunn - Quill’s Scribbles

This could prove to be the most controversial Scribble I’ve ever written on this blog, and the sad thing is it really shouldn’t be, in my opinion.

First off, a couple of disclaimers because I know some people are going to accuse me of ‘bias’. I’ve never been very fond of James Gunn as a filmmaker, it’s true. I thought the first Guardians Of The Galaxy movie was okay at best and I absolutely hated the sequel, but I confess that’s less to do with any inherent flaws in the films themselves and more to do with the fact that I just don’t like Gunn’s style of humour. Oh don’t get me wrong. There are still legitimate problems, which I’ll go into later when they become relevant, but I’m big enough to admit that my dislike for his brand of comedy and storytelling is merely due to my own subjective tastes (the same is true of Taika Waititi and Thor: Ragnarok).

Okay. So. Let’s talk about James Gunn.

As I’m sure most of you know, in July 2018, an alt-right conspiracy theorist called Mike Cernovich unearthed tweets made by Gunn between 2008 and 2012 where he made offensive jokes and remarks about sensitive topics such as rape, child abuse and paedophilia. While James Gunn did apologise and vowed to ‘do better,’ Disney, fearing the public backlash, fired Gunn as director of Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 3 and dismissed him from any role in producing and expanding Marvel’s planned ‘Cosmic Universe.’ The result was the public backlash Disney were trying to avoid in the first place. They received a lot of criticism from various entertainers and filmmakers, as well as many media outlets such as Collider and The Independent, the cast of Guardians wrote a letter urging Disney to reconsider their decision with Dave Bautista in particular being very vocal in his criticism, and there was a massive outcry from fans who petitioned for Gunn to be rehired. Guy Lodge, writing for The Guardian, asked the question ‘Was James Gunn the first undeserving victim of Hollywood’s new zero tolerance policy?’ Now I’d argue the answer to that question is a definitive no, but apparently, and surprisingly, that’s not a very popular opinion among liberals. So I’d very much like to challenge them as we explore James Gunn’s moral character and ask ourselves why he’s being defended so passionately.

Before we go any further, I think it would be a good idea for me to show you some of the tweets that we’re talking about, just to remind everyone what we’re dealing with here.

Now I hope we can all agree that this is objectively disgusting. Only an amoral, depraved and utterly moronic individual would find offensive tweets like these even remotely funny. But I should make it clear that, by James Gunn’s own admission, these tweets represent who he was rather than who he is. In his apology, he described himself as a ‘provocateur’ during the early days of his career, making shocking statements for the purposes of ‘satire.’ But it’s okay because he’s a better person who has grown and matured fully and will never do this again. Fair enough, you’d think. He admitted what he did was wrong and apologised profusely. That was a very honourable and decent thing to do.

Except we’ve seen this song and dance before.

In 2012, roundabout when Marvel announced they were making a Guardians Of The Galaxy movie with James Gunn directing, an old blog post of Gunn’s resurfaced entitled ‘The 50 Superheroes You Most Want To Have Sex With.’ The original post has since been deleted, but cached versions still exist here and there around the internet if you know where to look. Here are a few quotes from said blog:

[on natasha romanoff, the highest ~debut] “considering she’s fucked half the guys in the marvel universe, that’s quite a feat”

[on batwoman] “i’m hoping for a dc-marvel crossover so that tony stark can turn her; she could also have sex with nightwing and still be a lesbian”

”Many of the people who voted for the Flash were gay men. I have no idea why this is. But I do know if I was going to get fucked in the butt I too would want it to be by someone who would get it over with quick.”

Needless to say, this was quite offensive and causing bad PR, so James Gunn issued an apology:

“A couple of years ago I wrote a blog that was meant to be satirical and funny. In rereading it over the past day I don’t think it’s funny. The attempted humor in the blog does not represent my actual feelings. However, I can see where statements were poorly worded and offensive to many. I’m sorry and regret making them at all.

People who are familiar with me as evidenced by my Facebook page and other mediums know that I’m an outspoken proponent for the rights of the gay and lesbian community, women and anyone who feels disenfranchised, and it kills me that some other outsider like myself, despite his or her gender or sexuality, might feel hurt or attacked by something I said. We’re all in the same camp, and I want to do my best to make this world a better place for all of us. I’m learning all the time. I promise to be more careful with my words in the future. And I will do my best to be funnier as well. Much love to all – James”

Sound familiar?

Now of course it’s unfair to judge the man based on past actions that he himself apologised for. What matters is the present. Whether or not he has demonstrated to a reasonable standard that his work has grown and matured and that his offensive idiocy is a thing of the past. So let’s look at the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies.

While the first movie received critical acclaim, a few people (particularly fans of the source material) complained about how Gamora was treated. The so called ‘most powerful woman in the galaxy’ was reduced to a love interest, an occasional damsel in distress and there were a few odd occasions where she was objectified and degraded based on her sexual history. The most prominent example of which is when Drax describes her as ‘a green whore.’ The context being that he was ignorant of how offensive he was being despite trying to compliment her and call her a friend, and this was played for laughs in the movie. The second movie has more examples. Gamora’s role still paled in comparison to the role she played in the comics, and a new female character called Mantis was introduced whose power level from the comics was also significantly reduced for the movie and whose character was effectively reduced to be a punchline/punching bag. There’s also a scene involving Drax where he frequently describes her as ugly, saying that "when you're ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust." Again this is played for laughs. Except I’d argue that an adult man constantly fixating on a woman’s appearance isn’t even remotely funny. 

Another disturbing aspect of the Guardians 2 was the way it seemed to romanticise and excuse abusive relationships. Obviously there’s Drax and Mantis, but the biggest example is Star Lord and Yondu. The first movie did a reasonably good job establishing what drew Star Lord and Gamora together. They were both trying to escape from abusive father figures. The second film does a complete U-turn, calling Yondu Star Lord’s ‘David Hasselhoff’ and giving him a gratuitous and overly sentimental funeral as though he were a noble hero. While I’m sure the death of Yondu would emotionally impact Star Lord to a certain extent (he did raise the kid after all), to say that he’s like ‘David Hasselhoff’ because he’s a better dad than Ego the Living Planet was seems like a very low bar to clear. By that logic, Hitler was a good person because he didn’t kill as many people as Stalin did. It’s tone deaf, lacking in nuance and just a little bit insulting.

Bearing all this in mind, has James Gunn grown and matured since the period between 2008 and 2012? That’s for you to judge. I’d personally argue he hasn’t. Sure he’s no longer as extreme or provocative as he once was, but that’s not necessarily proof that he’s matured. Rather he’s just gotten better at hiding his immaturity. And in my own subjective opinion, based on his work, I think Disney made the right decision in sacking him. Now let me be clear, I don’t think Disney sacked him in order to take a moral stand as a lot of the problematic elements in the Guardians films have carried over into other MCU films. Gamora is still treated like shit in Avengers: Infinity War, and Thanos, who, like Yondu, was clearly established in the first Guardians movie as an abusive father figure, has been woobified and turned into a kind of sympathetic anti villain who actually cared about his daughter and only killed her because he had no other choice (as opposed to, you know, because he is a maniacal despot who’s a few Oompa Loompas short of a chocolate factory). The reason Gunn was fired was because of bad PR. Disney had dealt with this shit before in 2012 and they weren’t prepared to deal with it again, so they dropped the baggage, as it were. It’s a very common occurrence in Hollywood. Which is what makes the public backlash against this decision so puzzling to me.

I can understand being upset that the director of your favourite franchise has been fired, but can we try to get some perspective here? What happened to Gunn is nothing unique. This kind of thing happens all the time. A filmmaker does something controversial or has been revealed to have done something controversial in the past, the studio sacks them in an attempt to save face and everyone gets on with their lives. The situation with James Gunn is no different. The only reason I can see why people are so passionately against this is because of how these tweets were unearthed in the first place. Because the discoverer of the tweets, Mike Cernovich, is a member of the alt-right, the liberal community seem predisposed to dismiss this out of hand, which I think is incredibly dangerous. Okay, yes, Cernovich is a Nazi and almost certainly didn’t do this out of the goodness of his heart, but even a broken clock is right twice a day. It doesn’t change the fact that the tweets still exist and that they’re still incredibly offensive. And all the things I’ve heard people say in defence of James Gunn sound very similar to things the right would say about the likes of Brett Cavanaugh and Donald Trump. ‘It was x number of years ago.’ ‘It’s not relevant to who he is now.’ ‘He’s changed.’ ‘You can’t judge someone based on their past mistakes.’ I mean... come on guys! Either everyone should be held to the same standard or nobody should be held to standards at all. You can’t just change tact just because the person in question has the same political ideals as you. What are we saying? It’s okay for liberals to hold conservatives accountable for past actions and behaviour, but the right can’t do it to the left because apparently it’s not as funny when they do it? It’s classic ‘them and us’ mentality and it’s got to stop.

So, why am I bringing all this up, you may be asking? This happened over six months ago Quill. Aren’t you a little late to the party? Well a couple of days ago, it was announced that Warner Bros and DC Films had hired James Gunn to write and direct a sequel to Suicide Squad.

Well... sequel isn’t quite the right word. Apparently it’s more along the lines of a reimagining. Titled ‘The Suicide Squad’, the film is going to follow a whole new cast of characters and effectively start from scratch. No doubt this is part of WB and DC’s attempts to salvage the DC Extended Universe after the critical and financial disaster that was Justice League, as well as a response to people’s criticisms of the previous Suicide Squad film.

Writer/director David Ayer’s version of Suicide Squad was... let’s be charitable and call it problematic. Many people criticised the film for being misogynistic, borderline racist due to the one dimensional characterisation, and particular outrage was directed toward Ayer’s attempts to romanticise the relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn. So it’s quite ironic that WB and DC are relying on James Gunn - James Gunn?!?! - to fix Suicide Squad when similar criticisms have been made toward the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies. That’s like hiring Harvey Weinstein to investigate sexual harassment claims.

And do you know what the funny thing is? We’ve been in this exact same situation before. In February 2017, news media started to report that WB and DC were eyeing Mel Gibson, the Oscar nominated director of Hawksaw Ridge and professional arsehole, to direct Suicide Squad 2. I even wrote a Scribble on it then. I heavily criticised WB and DC for caring more about snagging an Oscar nominated director to bolster their failing franchise than about holding certain ethical standards of decency within the industry. Oh, sure, Gibson has said many sexist, homophobic and antisemitic comments for years and has never at any point showed any hint of remorse for the amount of offence he’s caused, but he just made a good movie about Spider-Man fighting in World War II, so it all balances out, doesn’t it? We’re good, right? We’re cool. Gibson’s cool now. Yeah?

And now here we are seeing this play out again. James Gunn, a man who has said some incredibly offensive things over the years, is being hired by WB and DC to helm a new Suicide Squad movie and conveniently ignoring all the problematic shit surrounding him because he’s the guy that made those sci-fi films about the talking raccoon. People love those films. Let’s get him on board.

I’m getting so sick to death of actors and filmmakers getting away with shit and avoiding the consequences of their actions. James Gunn and his offensive tweets, Mel Gibson and his shitty behaviour, Kevin Hart and his temper tantrum when he was expected to apologise for being a homophobic prick. And the few times there are consequences for said actions, people of influence within the industry end up undermining it. WB and DC hiring James Gunn so soon after he was sacked by Disney, and Ellen fucking Degeneres ringing the Academy and persuading them to let Kevin Hart host the Oscars. Thankfully, and to his genuine credit, Hart turned it down, but seriously, what the actual fuck Ellen?! You’re LGBT, aren’t you? Why are you giving him a free pass? Do you have short term memory loss like the fish you voice in Finding fucking Nemo? Jesus Christ!

Finally, to people saying that Disney treated James Gunn too harshly for the tweets, may I remind you that when ‘The 50 Superheroes You Most Want To Have Sex With’ resurfaced in 2012, Disney still kept him on! He still got to write and direct two Marvel movies before finally getting the sack. And he was in talks to lead production in all future ‘Cosmic’ Marvel movies going forward before the resurfaced tweets made that impossible. Too harshly? I think he got off extremely lightly, frankly. I think he’s grotesquely lucky he’s still got a job at all. Let alone a job where he continues to direct tentpole blockbusters. For someone who was treated ‘too harshly’, he’s sure done alright for himself, hasn’t he? He’s not Oliver Twist begging movie studios to give him a film, cap in hand, ‘please sir, may I have some more?’ His position hasn’t changed one iota. That’s what we should be pissed off at. Not that he’s being unfairly punished. That he’s not being punished enough roughly seven years after the fact.

So what should we take away from all this? That we need to hold everyone accountable for their past actions and behaviour, regardless of whether they share our political beliefs or whether they were involved in films we actually like, and that the industry needs to do a better job of upholding the consequences of said actions. And regardless of whether you thought Disney were right to sack James Gunn, it cannot be denied that WB and DC handing the keys of another profitable franchise over to him so soon after this controversy is an incredibly irresponsible thing to do.

[mxsharknado93]

The Pride: A brave, if awkward, first step

So, hey! First time I’ve ever done a proper review of something. 

The Pride is an independent, Kickstarter-funded comic written by Joe Glass, with lettering by Mike Stock and a whole host of artists that you can see listed in the image above. I’d run them all down here but that would turn this opener into a full-on run-on sentence. 

The Pride, as you could probably guess, is a story about an LGBT superhero team coming together (Led by the perfectly-named and Superman-esque Fabman) both to do some good in the world and to combat the image of LGBT+ superheroes. As a bisexual man, I am all about this. There’s going to be spoilers underneath the cut, so if you don’t want to read those, my TL;DR is Please buy this book and these comics, support them so that the series can grow and improve even more! 

As with a lot of independent superhero comics, there are a lot of ersatz and expy characters (for those not obsessed with TV Tropes, that means they’re very similar analogues to preexisting properties) so that you can get acclimated to them more quickly and we can move forward with the story. There’s Wolf, the brooding, no-powers, hypercompetent rich badass; Muscle Mary, formerly a Queen of an island of utopian warrior women who wears a lot of red and gold and has super strength; Twink, who can cover his body in an indestructible metal that imbibes him with super strength; you get the idea. But just because some of these characters are familiar doesn’t mean they’re uninteresting or uninspired. Each one is fully realized and unique, with their own voice and characteristics. 

The plot is fairly standard, but still fun thanks to all of the quirks and intricacies of the characters and their interactions with one another. Fabman doesn’t appreciate how the media portrays gay superheroes, he assembles his team, there’s growing pains, there’s pushback from the rest of the superhero community, there’s drama and drama and suspense and sadness, they fight an evil homophobic Southern pastor who wants to build a machine that will bend all the superheroes in the world to his control so he can use them as his army and kill all the gay superhumans, and they win. 

The volume also comes with some additional issues after the main story called The Pride Adventures that mostly take place after the end of the initial story, including a two-issue story about the team fighting a vigilante named Outrage, a mech-wearing vigilante who murders homophobes to honor the memory and name of his dead boyfriend, who had also used the same superhero name. And it’s actually really interesting as the team debates whether or not they should stop him or if his actions are wrong. Obviously, they do, and in the end, they’re able to make Outrage see the error of his ways and how his actions are harming the legacy of the man he loved. But still, it’s a ride! 

All of the characters represent different facets of the different levels of the LGBT experience; Fabman is out and proud of it and doesn’t really care who he upsets living his life. Wolf is a Camp Straight man still bitter from the backlash in his professional life after his homosexuality became public, resulting in him getting fired from the story’s Justice League equivalent. Twink was sent to the equivalent of a Conversion Therapy camp as a child and is estranged because of it. Bear (who’s a big ol’ anthropomorphic bear man and just the BEST) is an older gay man who came out after he got married and who had a son with his former wife. He’s also HIV positive and is used to help educate readers on the modern truth of HIV and dispel certain myths. Angel is a pansexual drag queen Frost is a Trans woman and White Trash is a Manly Gay whose strength and invulnerability are tied to his self-confidence, but who dealt with an abusive father and gets tattoos as a sort of therapy to work through those ugly memories. They’re all wonderful characters and I really hope the series will continue and we’ll get to see more of them. 

It’s also great, as weird as it may sound, that the members of The Pride don’t get along perfectly all the time. Some creators try to paint the LGBTQ+ community as one big happy family and that’s disingenuous. I’m not trying to say we’re not all in this together, but there’s still discrimination even inside our rainbow flag and I like that that’s actually represented. Fabman and Angel actually argue in the team’s first meeting about the importance of explicitly mentioning the “T” in LGBT (although given that Angel’s a drag queen and not a trans man, I don’t know if that’s better or worse). Frost is worried at one point about how Muscle Mary will feel about her being a trans woman. Bear faces discrimination and hostility for being HIV positive. There’s layers. It’s like a good party dip. 

Now, The Pride isn’t a perfect comic. It’s a little pricey at around £30 (and that’s BEFORE shipping, especially outside the UK), but right now it’s  £15 and for ten issues plus a lot of character art and creators’ notes, I think it’s a great deal. It does have a few issues, mechanical and otherwise, and I think it’d be unfair to use a soft hand in reviewing it. There are a fair few grammatical and punctuational errors and more mix-ups of their/they’re/there than I’d feel comfortable with seeing in a professional publication, but those aren’t the end of the world. I also feel like there’s a bit of underrepresentation in the book, with the majority of the team (Twink, Fabman, Wolf, White Trash, Bear, Frost, and Muscle Mary) being gay or lesbian. Angel is a pansexual man, as I already mentioned, but bisexuality and pansexuality aren’t the same thing (anyone who says otherwise is just trying to start an argument) and it’s worrying that the only example of a nonbinary, potentially aroace individual is the Martian Manhunter stand-in. Also, some of the names are a little... iffy. Twink is called Twink because... he’s a Twink. It’s a pun on the fact that Colossus is a big, burly, shiny metal dude. Bear... is a giant bear and a big, burly gay man. And I’m not super sure about how I feel about the Wonder Woman character taking the same name as a slur for a muscular gay man. 

Like I said, it’s not perfect. But when all that we get a lot of times in comics is stuff like... 

This... or.... 

THIS.. 

It’s such an important book and it should be rewarded for taking a big step forward with success and invested readership so that it can continue to grow and evolve and get better! 

You can get digital issues at Comixology and on Amazon, as well as the first volume and these really cute pins on BigCartel! 

[beevean]

Yeah, and if you seen that second ask I sent you, I feel like I blame lily for making the 2-hour video that according to the few people who seen it, was harshly criticizing RS for supposedly promoting fascism and racism whether it's intentional or not and other criticism that's sound very invalid and possibly misleading. It seems kind of tough do not mention lily orchard since that video currently has 1 million views...

And spreading that narrative that the show is that problematic and agreeing with her criticisms. If I want to be unbiased on the problems of the show yes, there are problems to be criticized in the show like the handling of lapis's development and resolving the problems she has, but then at the same time I am not sure that is enough to say that the show is bad or even garbage to the point of saying "its promoting fascism, even if it's not RS intention"...

And you can say the same thing with any piece of media in existence with the flaws when it comes to criticizing something.

It makes me feel like somebody should make a aggressive call out video on lily and the bs im hearing, cuz this narrative is seemingly growing after that video and automatically accepting whatever she said in that video, defending that video and even to the point where some people are seemingly blaming the Hiatus on RS, what you and I and other people with common sense knows that RS nor the crew has no control over what CN does in airing shows or episodes and I believe the same can be said about

any network other than CN, whether they are doing better than CN or not. Sorry about this long rant with a few asks from me. I just feel like I want to say something about this situation since it's getting too ridiculous and seemingly more people believing in the narrative that "SU is promoting fascism and racism! we should harshly criticized (or blame) RS for promoting it whether it was intentional or not"

I’ll be honest, I don’t want to talk about that video anymore. One, I didn’t watch it, two, I refuse to watch it, and three, it doesn’t need any more publicity than it already had.

Lily wasn’t the one who pushed the “SU is fascist” discourse, the far-left extremists on Tumblr did, when Bismuth aired back in 2016 and the show blatantly showed the eponymous character, which was the equivalent of a far-left extremist, being in the wrong. From what I noticed there wasn’t a sudden anti-SU spike after the video, they have been always here, bitching with the same intensity. Lily is just one of the few ones with a name.

As far as I know she got backlash, but again, I’m not keeping an eye on her because I don’t care. And again, violent call outs only bring more publicity she doesn’t deserve IMO.

And as for the false notion that Sugar is responsible for the hiatuses...

Nobody really knows why CN puts SU through such a terrible schedule, and if you hate Sugar on principle like some antis do (plus you don’t know jack about TV), it’s easy to blame her because fuck it, they would blame her for WWII if they could.

I also think the amount of vitriol SU gets is unfair. Yes the show has flaws, like uneven pacing, uneven lorebuilding and wasting potential (I’m still reserving judgement for the Lapis situation), but from what you hear from antis it sounds like it’s Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey level of vile.

It’s not, and it’s all because antis as a collective have the mentality of a spoiled 7 year old and can’t recognize there’s a spectrum between “gift from God” and “11th Plague of Egypt”