#I know the original shirt said stop being desperate and honestly… that would have also been fitting

[aaardvarks]

Ianthe finding out why harry came to canaan house:

[tartglias]

almost falling (headcanons)

characters: scaramouche and xiao

warnings: VIOLENCE. i’m 98% sure i kept it slight but just in case don’t read if you’re sensitive please!!

request: “Anyway, so I'm requesting for Xiao and Scaramouche (fitting, they're sadists HAHA) their s/o (separate) is about to be thrown off the balcony after someone pushed them and hit the railings and they're about to hang on edge of their life. The boys just came back after whatever mission or errand they finished and saw the blasphemous attempt of a masochist (because how DARE they attempt such on their s/o?) Trying to kill their love. They sprinted or used their powers to get to them and stopped calamity from unraveling (sorta) into their world. Yes add some Overprotectiveness and probs them hunting to rip that masochist's head if it's not too much. Headcanons pls--“

[a/n: i loved this headcanon and i knew what you write from the start (which i never do lol), but the mental gymnastics i had to do to find the vocabulary omg... i can’t say i’m a big fan of how this turned out because of that]

•••••

Scaramouche

Scaramouche had to do some business in Mondstadt, and since you wanted to visit your friend Amber, why not accompany him? It took a while to convince him since he usually doesn’t like the idea of mixing his personal and work lives, but he has a soft spot for you, believe it or not. Not that he would ever admit it.

Before he left you to do your things, he made you promise to meet him at the Good Hunter after an hour, on the dot. He had a busy schedule, but he still wanted to treat you lunch so you excitedly agreed by kissing his cheek and nodding.

After the meeting, he hoped to see you sitting down at one of the tables waiting for him, but instead, he saw no one. “I thought I made myself clear about punctuality” he thought.

“Did you see my partner? They’re about this height tall, *hair color* and probably accompanied by some friend called Amber?” he asked the girl that took orders at the Good Hunter, with a very obvious fake smile. “Not really, I’m sorry” she said, giving an apologetic look, which quickly turned into a frown. “Although, I thought Outrider Amber was out on a mission today. She even ordered some food supplies this morning, are you sure your partner was with her?”

He took a moment to think. He knows you were meeting with Amber because you kept rambling about how you haven’t seen her in forever and you wanted to surprise her. He can’t recall a time when you lied to him, either. Something about having an honest and open relationship with him, so you couldn’t have lied. And you wouldn’t leave the city without informing him, either.

So he decided to scratch out the possibility of having to search you through all Mondstadt. Then, he nodded towards the girl and left without saying a word.

Walking through the city, he paid attention to details. Something was off, he was sure of it.

After a while, he heard a yell. At first he wasn’t going to do anything about it, it’s not his problem plus he still has to find you. But when he realized the owner of the voice yelled “Leave me alone!”, he knew it was you. He ran towards the origin of the sound and found out that you were on top of the wall that protected Mondstadt.

He climbed as fast as he could and when he got to the top, his blood boiled at the sight.

A big tall man was holding your arms tightly, and then pushed you to the edge. Your back hit the railing and you let out a pained yell. You saw the man approach you with intentions of pushing you again, but before you could lift your arms to protect yourself, you heard thunder.

“You heard them, leave them alone. Now” you heard Scaramouche say. The atmosphere became dark and tense very quick, making a shiver go down your spine.

The man let out a short laugh. “You can’t intimidate me so easily. They were mine first, I’m just reclaiming my property”

Oh boy

“I don’t think you heard me, stupid. Leave them alone, now. Or I’ll make sure you suffer the most painful and slow tortures ever imagined. I have a whole book I want to test out anyways, you know.” Scaramouched threatened, and when you saw the look on his face, you gasped. You never saw him like that

He had a creepy smile, no, it was the smile of a sadist, actually. Small thunders came out of his fingers, and by each second, they grew stronger. You noticed that the man started shaking, now reconsidering everything. Scaramouche tilted his head a bit and let out a laugh. “You don’t want to play anymore?”

The man quickly left, or more like ran for his life without sparing you a second glance. You dropped down to the floor and noticed the sky get clearer, and so did the sound of thunder. You were still teary-eyed and overwhelmed from the situation with the man, but you lifted up your head to see a calmer Scaramouche.

You didn’t notice before, but his purple eyes were sparkling with pink thunder, and once he kneeled down in front of you, they turned back to their original color.

He wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close and away from the edge. “Are you alright, my beloved?” he asked you, a hint of concern filling his face. “Now I am. Scaramouche... I never saw you like that” you said, holding his hands that previously let out sparks and thunder.

You heard him sigh. “I lost control. Your scream and then seeing you almost falling... it made me snap. I can’t lose you.”

You kissed him, hoping that this way he can understand that you’re not scared of him and also reassuring him you’re not going anywhere either.

“You scared him for life” you said once you pulled away, laughing slightly. “I’ll scare him for eternity because he won’t be alive after I catch him”

Xiao

He told you numerous times to call his name if you ever found yourself in trouble. Even if it’s just a whisper, a thought even, you just have to say “Xiao” and he would drop whatever he was doing to come to rescue you.

In full honestly, you thought you could handle things on your own. You didn’t need him to come to rescue you, unless a very real danger was knocking on your door. Which unfortunately, leads to this situation.

Moments earlier, you were at the top floor of the inn, waiting for Xiao to come back. Everything was normal, until you noticed two suspicious looking men approach you. At first, you didn’t think much of it since adventurers often ask you for certain locations or roads. But this thought quickly changed when one of them came from behind, a little too close for your liking, before covering your mouth with his hand.

“A little birdie told us you’re close to an adeptus” one of the two men said, standing in front of you with a smug smile. “We need a favor”

It happened very quick, you were fighting for your life as you screamed and tried to kick the man holding you down. You almost succeeded, if it wasn’t for the other man in front of you. He held your arms tightly and pushed you towards the edge, you lost your balance and tripped over it, but quickly managed to grab onto the railing.

“Go on. Call the adeptus for help, we’ll love to have a small chat with-“ the man started saying, but got cut off by a strong wind that made him trip over. It was Xiao.

His eyes immediately landed on you, you were trying so hard to lift yourself up but you were slowly slipping. You weren’t going to last much longer and rage filled both his body and mind almost instantly.

How dare they lay a finger on you to get to him? “Worthless. Pathetic. Stupid.” he muttered each time he hit the men, until knocking them out. His eyes went back to you, and he immediately sprinted towards the railing.

But he was late

Your hands that desperately tried to grip the railing and lift yourself up were red and they hurt, and just when he was about to extend his hand for you to take, you slipped and fell.

You thought it was over, truly. You yelled out Xiao’s name as you tried to get hold of anything that could possibly prevent you from hitting the ground, but you were far away and the floor was coming closer and closer. You closed your eyes, ready to face your end.

But that end didn’t come, and you found yourself wrapped in Xiao’s arms while strong winds surrounded you, keeping you from hitting the ground abruptly. Once his feet touched the floor, you heard a faint sigh of relief from him.

Now on the ground, you dropped to the floor while you sobbed in Xiao’s arms, suddenly very aware of how close you came to meeting death. He kept you close to his body, as if you’re gonna slip away from him again. He faced many monsters and wrath in his life, but he never felt as scared as he did at the moment.

“I’m sorry” Xiao muttered out once your crying calmed down. Drying your tears with the sleeve of your shirt, you looked at him questioningly. “You almost died because they were after me”

This made you cry more

He was kind of confused? Why were you crying again?

“Xiao you don’t have to apologize because its not your fault at all and you also saved me! I should apologize for not being careful and tripping!” you sobbed again. “But it’s not your fault either...” he whispered as he patted your head, not sure how to calm you down.

Xiao doesn’t kill humans, but nothing is going to stop him from making hilichurls, mages, and other monsters appear in the way of these two men. He’s going to make them pay (indirectly)

[grapesodatozier]

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

A Bad Feeling Pt 1

Levi x Reader

Part 1

Paring: Levi Ackerman x Cadet reader

Warnings: 18+ attempted rape/assault, cursing, mention of injury, violence

Summary: Reader feels uncomfortable around a overly friendly captain. Are they just over reacting? Or is there something else going on. What will Levi do when he finds out?

***************************************************

A.n. ok so I literally wrote this in one go, it's probably trash but I wanted to post it anyway. Please lemme know what you think in the comments! Thank you!

"Y/n! captain Oro is asking for you" you did your best to hide the discomfort Armins words made you feel.

You smiled what you hoped was a convincing one and nodded. With a deep breath you made your way to Captains Oro's office.

Ever since you had been introduced to him those few weeks ago, he had taken a special liking to you. At first you had been excited, having such a highly skilled and well known captain take notice of you was one of the best feelings. Especially since your squad leader, Levi wasn't exactly heavy on praise.

Everyone loved Captain Oro, he was known for his strength and stamina on the battle field. He was both charismatic, and charming. Your fellow cadets practically swooned over him. You couldn't help but also get caught up in his perfection. At first that is..

Over time you noticed things about your meetings that put you on edge. An unnecessary shoulder touch here, a too low pat on the back there. Something was off. And although you had done your best to distance yourself from him, it was hard when your squads often had to work together.

But it was hard to say anything against him because even your cold blooded captain seemed to enjoy his presence.

Once you brought it up to your friend Sasha, about how you felt he was being too friendly. But she waved her hand and basically said you were worrying for nothing, he was just a friendly guy. And you were being dramatic.

Maybe you were overreacting? If captain levi approved of him, surely that meant he was a decent person right? Maybe he was just being really really friendly.

You decided to give him a chance and knocked on his door when you finally arrived.

"Come in" a muffled voice came from the other side.

With a click you entered the candlelit room. It was nearing sundown after all.

"Ah cadet y/n! Perfect, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion on something?" He smiled angelically and gestured towards a parchment on his desk.

"Of course sir" you nodded and approached him, reminding yourself of what sasha said. Just relax.

From the way the parchment was positioned you had no choice but to come to his side of the desk.

"Do you see this area here?" He gestured to what you now saw was a map. "What do you think of leading a squad through here instead of what we originally planned?"

The next 30 minutes you spent completely and professionally discussing strategies. Being the member of your squad that was best at this, made him asking for you completely justified. You felt bad for ever doubting his intentions.

"Thank you y/n, I think I have a better idea of what course we should pursue on our next expedition" he smiled sincerely.

"I'm glad I could be of service" you nodded and allowed a relaxed smile to pass your features. Feeling stupid you had judged him so harshly.

" If you wouldnt mind just one more thing?" You nodded as he pulled out a stack of papers.

"If you could look over this report of the last mission before I send it out? See if theres anything else to add?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to Captain" you grabbed the stack.

"And please if you can, return them to me tonight, I'll need them for the meeting bright and early"

"Yes sir, I'll finish it asap, good evening" and with that you exused yourself.

Tonight? It was already sundown. Well whatever, hes so busy he probably doesn't know what time of day it is.

You found a quiet spot amonsgt the crowds in the common room and got to work.

************************************

"Oi brat, it's passed curfew, go to your room now, we have important work tommorow" the unmistakable voice of your captain rang through the now empty hall.

You looked up in surprise and meet his usual scowl, not even realizing how late it had gotten.

"Hai, s-sorry captain, I'll go now" you gathered the report and quickly left, not wanting to receive another scolding for taking too long.

Oh crap you still had to deliever the report. Changing routes you snuck quietly down the familiar hallways. Not particularly feeling like running into Levi again. Something about him always made you act just a little dumber and it was definitely not because of your non existent crush on him...definitely not.. he was just intimidating is all.

*knock knock*

You waited patiently but there was no answer. Crap did he already go to bed? But he knew I was coming? Ugh what should I do? He needs these reports..

With a sigh you change direction again and head for his personal chambers. There was no way you were getting in trouble for not delivering these reports on time.

You smiled when you saw dim light flood from beneath the door.

Lightly you knocked, "Captain Oro, its y/n, sorry it's so late but I have the rep-" you were cut off abruptly when the door swung open and there stood Oro.

Except he looked nothing like the Oro you were used too seeing. His hair was loose from it's normal slicked back do, and the edges were dripping slightly. His shirt was loosely thrown on revealing a decent amount of skin. He must've just bathed.. you could see why the girls were so obsessed with him. He was, platonically speaking, a very gorgeous man.

You were taken aback but reminded yourself that you did knock after hours so of course he wasnt going to be all soldiered up.

"U-um s-sorry Captain, I have the reports" you averted your eyes and shoved the reports in his direction.

"Ah y/n, thank you, would you please put them on my table? My hands are still slightly wet." He laughed holding them up innocently.

"S-sure" god why were you stuttering so much, you fight goddamn titans for a living?! But somehow you were more nervous now than when a 10meter was clawing at you.

You entered the room and tried to avoid looking around too much.

You always wondered what the inside of the higher ups rooms look-

*click*

You whipped around, alarm bells suddenly back in full force.

"Captain what are you-"

"You're such a good girl, you know that y/n?" Oros whole demeanor changed and you cursed yourself for not trusting your earlier instincts.

"U-um" you really did not know what to say or do as he took a couple steps closer.

"Always so obedient for me, I think you deserve a reward don't you?"

Shit

"That's not...that's not necessary captain, I really should be going" you tried to lunge for the door but he was quicker and much much stronger.

"I don't believe I dismissed you cadet..." he purred pinning your arms to the door in the blink of an eye.

You were by no means weak, but your struggles were useless against him.

"Let me go" it took all your strength not to stutter in fear.

"How adorable, you know I love it when you follow my orders so well, but I think..." you shivered in disgust as you felt his lips near your neck and press down.

"I'd like to see you fight me as well" you whimpered as he sucked and bit down on the soft flesh.

"S-stop it, p-please" he smirked and looked into your fearful eyes with his lustful ones. "Stop? But that's not what you really want is it? You see I know exactly how girls like you are" he chuckled darkly and moved one of his hands to grip both your arms, while the other slid lower. You gasped when he cupped your breast. "S-stop! I'll, ill scream If you don't!" You felt a tear slide down your shaking form.

"Scream?" He snickered like you had told the funniest joke.

"Go ahead and scream doll, itll be very interesting to see what happens"

"W-what?" You were utterly confused.

"Think about it, if someone walks in on us, what would they think? Seeing a cadet after hours in her superiors chambers?"

"B-but I! I was bringing the reports i wasn't-!"

"Do you honestly think theyll care what you have to say? Who do you think theyll believe y/n? You a nobody cadet who's been fighting titans for 3 seconds? Or me, a selfless hero whos saved countless of scouts lives? All I have to tell them is that you came into my room and tried to seduce me. When I tried to restrain you, you screamed. Who do you think theyll listen too? Why else would you be here so late at night?"

"Y-You're..you're insane, you're not a hero, y-you're a coward who-" he grasped your jaw harshly causing you to wince.

"I'd watch that mouth of yours y/n" he squeezed harder. I am your superior after all, and we wouldnt want any nasty rumors going around that would have you suspended from the survey corps now would we?" He bent down and to your horror pressed his lips against yours.

Fuck fuck what do I do?!? Hes blackmailing me now. I cant fight him, hes too strong, think think think.

But your mind was blank when his cold lips pressed against your lips again. "Open your mouth" he ordered in a voice laced with animilistac lust.

You abruptly turned your head away desperate to get away.

"Heh, always such a tease" he traced a finger up and down your cheek, flipping over your lips. "I'll enjoy this-"

"CAPTAIN ORO, COMMANDER ERWIN REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE IN HIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY" a voice shouts from the other side of the locked door.

With an annoyed sigh, Oro pulls away slightly, "Did he say why?" He lazily looks over in the direction of the door.

"NO SIR!"

"guess it can't be helped... Alright tell him I'll be there shortly" he yelled out.

"Hai" the footsteps recended and you stood deathly still.

He pulled away from you and you immediately pulled your wrists to you, they were an angry red, and it scared you how much strength he had so effortlessly displayed.

"Sorry doll, it looks like we'll have to continue this another night" he stepped away and began dressing normally as if he hadn't just been assaulting you 5 second ago. You quickly make for the door but his voice falters your step, "Oh and y/n?"

You dont look at him, but fear held you in place until he finished, "If you mention our little moment to anyone, you know what will happen" you nodded quickly, anything to appease him and get out.

When the door shut behind you, you felt the flood of tears break through.

D-did, d-did that really happen?!?

You held a hand to quiet your sobs and quickly dashed through the hallways.

You're heart thumped and you felt the need to vomit. You hadn't felt this way since the first time youd encounted a titan. All you wanted to do was get to the safety of your room, just through the hall.

It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on you when a cold voice shouted out and halted your movements. Please not now, oh god any time but now.

"Oi cadet y/n are you deaf as well as dumb? I asked you a question.

"Why are you out past curfew?" he sounded definitely annoyed and you gathered all your strength to hold the sobs out of your voice.

Without turning around you answered, "I-I had to deliver some r-reports..I'll head to my room now.." you stepped forward hoping he would let you go but you were not so lucky.

"Oi brat, did you hit your head? I didn't dismiss you yet. Not to mention you haven't even addressed me properly, maybe some time cleaning up horse shit will remind you how to respect your superiors" fuck he was definitely angry now.

Still you didn't turn around, you couldn't..."S-sorry Captain Levi, I'll do better in the future.." you barely could even focus on the words coming out of your mouth, your heart was beating a mile a minute. Please just leave me alone!

"Hahh" Levi uttered in disbelief and severe annoyance, even the most novice of cadets turn around when being spoken to by a superior. "Are you trying to piss me off brat?!?"

"No sir..." still you didnt turn around, but gulped in fear when you heard sharp footsteps near you.

"Cadet y/n, you have three seconds to turn around and salute me properly before I throw you into the cells for insubordination" he ordered in his dangerously calm voice, that you never thought would be directed at you.

Having no other choice you slowly turn around, hoping to god the darkness of the room would be enough to hide your current state.

You kept your head down, letting your hair fall over your face, but gave a proper salute. Hiding the Wince that came when the tender flesh of your wrist had to bend.

Your eyes were trained on the floor. And you tried to remember how to breathe normally again.

"At least you remember how to-" abruptly his harsh scolding stopped.

Why did he stop?! Fuck did he notice something. No no calm down, he probably just is coming up with another punishment...right?

Wrong...

Levi was far from being done with dicisplining you but he caught sight of your bruised wrist and furrowed his brows immediately. He knew for a fact the last time you spoke in the hall those had not been there. He was quick to take in the rest of your demeanor and knew immediately that the reason you were acting disrespectful was because something was wrong.

"Cadet y/n.." he said suspiciously slow and not full of anger anymore.

"Y-yes?" Please dont ask me, please dont ask me, please dont-

"Look at me"

*******************************

Part 2 here

Okay so that's part 1! Please comment and lemme know what you think🥰also I'm super sensitive so please no hateful comments. Thanks for reading!

[faulty-writes]

This is a little different than most of my other works, but I'm trying to branch out and write for more of the secondary or minor characters. I actually adore the Todoroki family, especially Fuyumi and Natsuo. So I hope you guys enjoy this little appreciation piece featuring Natsuo who no doubt deserves more love considering he's a very interesting and complex character, at least in my opinion.

[ Natsuo is known as 'the nice guy' on campus despite also being recognized as a "Todoroki" and many knowing of the relation he holds to the number one hero, Endeavor. He's had plenty of experiences where people have used him because of this, but the latest one leaves him a tad heartbroken. What other choice does he have but to run to you? ]

The sound of his abnormally thick tears landing on the tiled flooring of the hallway faintly echoed as he continued on his way. Ignoring all the looks and obvious gossip that would come with the fact he was so shamelessly crying in the middle of a school day.

A sniffle came as Natsuo reached up and with some force, wiped his right eye with the end of his signature gray hoodie sleeve which he normally wore on campus. The very campus he had grown to love over the past year and the one Fuyumi had insisted he go to in order to study medical welfare.

It was funny, he could still hear her words echoing in his head, ‘Leave our family circumstances to me and go do what you want to pursue,’ and that he did. He knew he shouldn’t have been surprised that his sister offered to take the brunt of their family problems and encourage him to do what made him happy.

But at the same time, Natsuo hadn’t originally wanted to leave his sister or youngest brother behind. He didn’t trust their well-being with ‘Endeavor’ around, despite his mother having long since recovered from the mental and physical abuse the so-called "number one hero" put her through.

Since the death of his eldest brother, Touya. He couldn't shake this protective and anxiety-ridden feeling that had been slowly growing inside of him. He'd be damned if anything happened to his remaining siblings, even if it meant he'd experience more emotional trauma in the long run.

Much like today. College was supposed to be a fun time, and while Natsuo understood that some enjoyed ‘experimenting’ and partying rather than studying. He was never much of the party type and while he knew he was attracted to other genders, he never outwardly acted on it.

Knowing how his father treated his mother was the one thing that drove him to desire a true romantic relationship and that was what he thought he had. Unfortunately, there was a cruel reality that came with being the son of Endeavor, and while he should be used to people trying to get close to him when they found this out.

He never thought they would sink so low as to try and date him on the off-chance they'd get to meet the number one hero. His fingers sunk into the front of his hoodie, twisting the fabric as a soft ache coursed through his chest.

Which he could only describe as a broken heart and despite wanting to go back to his own room, bury his face into a pillow, and hide under his covers. There was one person he wanted, no needed, to see. It wasn’t his mother or sister, not even his youngest brother. It was you.

Strangely, since the start of his first year in college. He seemed to gravitate towards you, at first he believed it was only due to the fact that you were also studying something related to the medical field. But as your friendship continued and he got to spend more time with you, he realized that he genuinely enjoyed your company.

The fact he found himself telling you things, secrets that he wouldn’t have thought of sharing outside of his family was a pleasant surprise. Maybe you were just easy to talk to? He wasn’t sure, but he did know that unlike most.

You weren’t going to use him just because of his relation to Endeavor, though he knew you were interested in hero studies. There was no worry in his mind that you’d use him for some hero-related advantage.

Another sniffle came before he reached up to once more wipe away his tears, even if his effort was in vain considering more just came. He took a deep breath, trying to both collect and center himself. ‘Man, this backpack feels heavy,’ he thought as he clenched his jaw and focused his attention on the floor.

Counting the familiar shapes in the tile that he knew would eventually lead to your room. The logical reason for his backpack feeling so heavy was due to the fact it was filled to the brim with various textbooks and a few notebooks that were scribbled with his writing.

He could feel the slight bitter sting of frost beginning to grow on his tear-stained cheeks which he ignored for the moment. Still, he wiped his eyes once more before picking up his pace. He soon began to speedwalk which turned into a jog which eventually led him to frantically running and accidentally stumbling into your door.

Once more, he seemed to get stares from the passersby. But in a way, he couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t even sure how he looked slumped against another student's door with his arms stretched above his head and his hands closed into fists.

His forehead was pressed against your door and his tears continued to slowly fall. His eyebrows came down and for a moment, he wondered what he was doing before the door suddenly opened. “Hel-” your sentence came to a stop when the white-haired boy stumbled forward and your hands instantly grasped his arms.

Your stance stiffening as you unconsciously seemed determined to stop him from falling. One of your legs was bent back, and the other bent forward. An awkward silence filled the air before you heard the soft sound of something hitting the wooden floor of your room.

It reminded you of water and a few seconds later, Natsuo lifted his head. You instantly noticed those tears and felt his hands curl into the front of your shirt, funny you hadn’t noticed or felt the pressure of his hands there before.

But in a way it made sense, Natsuo was always very gentle. Even when handling the few people who volunteered to pretend to be "patients" during his medical welfare classes. In fact, it seemed he was downright cautious when it came to others.

Never necessarily wanting to cause trouble and sometimes acting rather shy unless you happened to bring up a topic he didn’t like. You had long since learned the reason why he preferred to keep the topic of ‘family’ out of conversations.

Yet, you wondered if Natsuo was crying because of something related to just that. But you knew you shouldn’t jump to conclusions just yet. Still, you couldn’t help but look into those blue orbs of his. The look of hurt was clearly visible, not only in his eyes but also indicated by the way his face was twisted.

Then he leaned forward, allowing a soft whimper to escape in the process. Partly burying his face into the front of your shirt as he lifted his leg up. Then without warning, he slammed his foot against the floor. Which caused you to jump, but you didn’t dare release Natsuo.

Especially as his tears soaked into the fabric of your shirt, unlike most Natsuo's tears were always cold. You assumed it was due to his quirk, but before you could say anything the sound of Natsuo’s cracked and broken voice caught your attention.

“D-Damn it,” the stuttered words filled the air and you frowned, wanting nothing more than to run your fingers through that white snow-like hair of his before you glanced back up. Noticing a few people staring into your doorway, you honestly didn’t know why they were staring or why they weren’t minding their own business.

But you did know that something was clearly wrong with Natsuo and whatever that something was caused this reaction. You shot the bystanders a glare before focusing back on Natsuo. You opened your mouth to speak, but were interrupted by the sound of his voice once more.

“I...am so sick of this,” his words, of course only confused you. What was he sick of and how did it relate to his current state? You managed to straighten out your legs, however, Natsuo continued to cling to you.

His tears hadn’t ceased nor those soft almost desperately gasps for breath. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly said before he turned to look over his shoulder. His hands remained curled into the front of your shirt as he looked at the many people staring at the two of you.

Some seemed curious as to what was happening and others amused to see the almost grown man crying in the arms of his friend. With more strength than he intended, he once more lifted his foot and slammed your door shut.

The noise it created echoed through your room and though Natsuo felt guilty for having treated your door in such a manner, his chest was already aching profusely. When he turned back to face you, the fact he had small bits of ice underneath his eyes and on the skin of his cheeks didn't go unnoticed by you.

Your hands left their position on Natsuo’s forearms to gently cup his face, it shouldn’t be a surprise that he was cold to the touch. You knew that was yet again another semi-harmless side effect due to his quirk, despite the fact you had never actually seen him use it.

Part of you wondered why that was. Still, you couldn’t help but allow your thumbs to run over those specs of ice stuck to his moist cold cheeks and the desire to get a warm hand towel to clean his face was strong.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to ask what happened first or calm him down enough so he would tell you with as little of a fight as possible. Your touch was welcomed as Natsuo reached up and laid one of his hands over yours.

“Do you...want to sit down?” you questioned and Natsuo looked momentarily confused before he glanced away as if he were thinking about something. Sometimes when he acted like this, it annoyed you. You knew how guilty Natsuo could feel over things that he either shouldn’t or weren’t even his fault.

He was here crying into your arms, but you knew somehow he'd make up a reason to feel guilty about it. ‘Well, that isn’t going to happen today,’ you thought as you released his face and reached down to take hold of one of his hands.

Even though they too were always cold, you couldn't help but find some odd sense of comfort when you were holding him by the hand. Despite the fact, Natsuo was significantly larger than you. But, you assumed that was only due to the fact that he physically took after his father.

The fact he went to the gym daily only added to that overall intimidating stature of his. Regardless, you squeezed his hand in reassurance as you guided him towards your bed. He made no move to resist your guidance and once you had him sitting down, you gently laid your hands on his shoulders.

Those tears were now single drops that slowly slid down his icy cheeks and you'd be lying if you stated it didn't hurt seeing Natsuo like this. You took a deep breath. “Stay here,” you instructed, “I’m going to get a warm towel, you have ice on your face,” Natsuo seemed rather surprised and reached up to touch his cheek.

Using his thumb to glide along the skin and sure enough, he could feel the smooth surface of the small patches of ice. “Oh…” he said before a sniffle came. “Sorry,” though most would know not to apologize for something beyond their control.

Still, he couldn’t help but fold his hands into his lap. Squeezing them between his thighs. His feet were nervously tapping against the floor, creating a rhythmic pattern and if one listened carefully enough, they’d recognize it was the pattern of a standard heartbeat.

In a way, it was amazing how much subconscious knowledge you could obtain. Natsuo failed to notice the rhythmic pattern, but you could hear it clear as day even from the bathroom where you proceeded to ring out the warm hand towel.

A soft groan escaped him, and his thighs were the only thing keeping his hands in place. Else he would be running them through his unusual spiky hair and possibly pulling it out. ‘What am I even doing here man?!’ he frantically thought.

‘Y/n...is always the person I run to, I keep bothering them but I’d rather be like this than…’ his jaw clenched when the thought of Endeavor entered his mind and a soft growl rumbled in his throat before he heard your footsteps which prompted him to raise his head.

You noticed he was looking at the wet towel you held with an expression only a curious and slightly confused child would make. “Mm,” once more he looked away, feeling the guilt continue to build as you sat down next to him and laughed.

"Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty again,” you stated, and not to your surprise, Natsuo turned his head to look at you. His tears seemed to be completely dry and you wondered if that was because he was here with you or that he simply overworked his tear ducts.

“Sorry,” he muttered, still focused on the towel you held and the small amount of steam that seeped from it. “I...get it's kind of crazy for me to keep running to you but-” you shook your head, quickly interrupting him.

“But nothing,” you replied as you leaned forward, “that’s what friends do and you and I have been friends since the start of our freshman year,” that had to count for something, right? You reached over, cupping one side of Natsuo’s face.

“Now stay still, I want to get that ice off your face, and then you can tell me what’s bothering you,” the words left your mouth almost like a friendly command. But like most of the time, Natsuo didn’t seem to take offense.

He simply nodded and gave you a look that you knew meant he understood. Very gently, you pressed the towel to his face. Applying some pressure to ensure the bits of ice chipped off and sure enough, you could see the clear cold pieces slowly begin to melt.

When you began to wipe his opposite cheek, you couldn’t help but raise the question. “Hey Natsuo,” you began, effectively catching his attention and the soft, “Hm?” he responded with. “I’ve never seen you actually use your quirk,” you pointed out.

“Is there a reason for that?” a gasp came when Natsuo suddenly jerked his head away from you. “Uh…” blinking once or twice. You lowered the wet towel to your lap and grasped onto it. Twisting the fabric between your fingers to allow the now lukewarm droplets of water to soak into the pajama bottoms you were wearing.

Maybe you crossed a line? Did this have anything to do with his family? As far as you knew, his mother possessed a rather powerful ice quirk. Was that the reason he never used it? You weren’t sure, but usually, when Natsuo acted in this closed-off manner it was related to his family.

“Sorry,” you said, “I didn’t mean to pry, I was just curious,” the explanation was simple and you hoped Natsuo would believe you. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh before bringing his hand up, running his fingers through his hair.

“It’s fine,” he replied, though you could tell his voice was a little strained before he turned to you. That’s when you saw the frown on his face and his eyes looked misted over as if he were going to cry again. You really didn’t want that.

“Natsuo are you-” though the answer was obvious, he wasn’t okay if he had come running to you in tears. But even so, Natsuo nodded. “Yeah…” he reached out, grasping the wet towel that you were previously holding before he got up.

You wanted to ask where he was going, but it was clear he was only heading to the bathroom. “It’s just…” you heard the wet plop of the towel landing in the sink before Natsuo walked back out and once more took his seat on your bed.

You reached out, laying your hand on his thigh. “You don’t have to tell me,” you offered with a kind smile, but Natsuo shook his head. “It’s fine,” he repeated yet again before allowing his hand to rest by his side.

“Big bro Touya and I used to play around with our quirks, but Touya was always so serious about his,” you watched as his expression grew dark and a clear hateful glance appeared in his eyes which seemed distant at the moment.

This was more than likely due to the fact that Natsuo was picturing his late brother alongside his father. “Uh…” you glanced down and watched as the hand that laid by Natsuo’s side began to curl into a fist, though you knew he would never actually raise that fist or cause harm to you.

It was just shocking how the subject of his family brought out this side in him, but you remained quiet and continued to listen. “Because of that...bastard and I hated seeing Touya like that!” he suddenly exclaimed, leaning forward as his fists began to tremble, and without much thinking, you laid your hand on his back.

"Natsuo…” you said, hoping your voice would bring him back out of the hateful moment he was in. His jaw was clenched and a shiver ran up your spine when you felt Natsuo’s trembling hand take a grip on your upper arm.

But there was still that familiar gentleness to it which indicated to you that even when Natsuo was temporarily blinded by this hatred, he was still aware of his surroundings and those that were important to him.

This was only confirmed when he lifted his head to look at you with a smile, though it was small. It was still present and seemed to put you at ease for the moment. “I’m okay but…” he once more turned away from you and a sigh escaped him.

“I convinced big bro to have fun with our quirks instead of doing what the old man wanted him to, but since he...died. I...I couldn’t bring myself to use my quirk again and I’m sure sis feels that way too,” your frown deepened, ah so that’s why.

Maybe he fears he’ll lose the memory of his elder brother if he were to use his quirk again? “What else happened?” Natsuo looked back at you, confused for a brief moment before, “Oh...right,” he said as if he had almost forgotten he ran to you in broad daylight with tears streaming down his face.

He turned, bending down to slip his shoes off before he slid his backpack onto the floor. Then he proceeded to climb onto the bed or rather proceeded to crawl over to your pillows and plop himself down.

Being surrounded by your familiar scent eased him as did the fact he could stretch both his arms and legs out. You looked at him all sprawled out and comfortable. ‘Well...I guess if it makes him feel better,’ you thought as you watched Natsuo stare at the ceiling.

His face twisting with a variety of emotions that made you wonder just what caused him to cry in the first place. He didn’t deserve that, or at least not in your opinion. “She broke up with me,” he suddenly said, his voice somewhat quick and you barely understood what he said.

“Who?” you questioned as you got onto your knees and pressed your hands into the mattress, looming over Natsuo much like how a dog or loyal companion would. "My girlfriend…” he muttered as he once again looked to the side, you assumed it was an attempt to look away from your gaze which was a mess of confusion.

“Why did she break up with you?” It was said that getting your heart broken was hard to handle, but there had to be more behind this. You sat on your knees, placing your hand on your hip as you looked down at Natsuo who slowly turned his gaze back to you but seemed to avert it just as quickly.

Despite his overall twisted expression that laid somewhere between sad and angry, you also noticed the faint pink tint to his cheeks. Was that from anger or embarrassment? You honestly couldn’t tell. But Natsuo normally didn’t get embarrassed around you and you knew he knew he could tell you anything.

‘It must be from anger,’ you concluded as you continued to wait patiently for his answer. “I’m so tired of it,” he said in a soft voice which prompted you to lean closer. “Tired of it?” you repeated, clearly not understanding where that was coming from.

“I’m sick of being recognized just because of the old man's last name!” he exclaimed once more, though his voice wasn’t raised too high. It still caused you to jolt back, then again you should have realized this whole thing had something to do with his family.

Natsuo turned to you and impatiently pressed his hands against the mattress so he could sit up. His jaw was clenched again and his eyebrows slit in anger and the way he kept his eyes locked on you made you feel a little uncomfortable despite the fact you knew his anger wasn’t directed at you.

Then a sigh came and Natsuo’s head dropped. You saw this often when he was trying to collect or calm himself down. It honestly worried you that he was always going between emotions, trying to keep himself in check for the sake of others.

His eyes were closed, but when he opened them once more you could see the absence of anger. “I wanted to study medical welfare to actually help people…” he confessed as he brought his legs up to his chest and you watched as he wrapped his arms around them.

Those long sleeves of his hood concealing the contraction of his muscles and biceps. He seemed to stare off into the distance once more. “I wanted to make a difference in the world so the name Todoroki could actually mean something to me, unlike the tie it has to that bastard,” he hissed and like a switch, that anger was back.

You could even hear that soft rumbling of a growl threatening to admit from his throat. “I don’t want to be recognized as a Todoroki just because of him!” you opened your mouth to speak, but all thoughts and actions escaped you when Natsuo turned to look at you.

Once more sporting that angry expression which was terrifying in its own way. But then, it slowly began to fade into sadness and he lowered his arms. Allowing his hands to fall back onto the mattress, you couldn’t help but glance down when you felt his fingers brush against yours before you looked back up.

“I don’t want people trying to get close to me because of him either,” Natsuo stated and you gasped when you felt his cold hand engulf yours, taking firm grip as if he was silently gesturing to you that he needed some form of physical comfort.

“But that’s exactly what she did,” you felt that hand begin to tremble and you quickly gave it a reassuring squeeze. “She used you to get to your father?” you questioned, a little confused but still showing an effort that you wanted to get the story correct.

Natsuo nodded. “She’s an inspiring hero I guess," he said with a shrug, "and wanted to get close to me so she could have the chance to speak to my father,” his tone sounded like he had given up as he tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

That ache in his chest returned, but somehow your touch prevented it from growing any further. “Guess I was more interested in caring for her that I didn’t see it,” he commented before tilting his head back down. “Just tired of it,” he repeated.

"I wouldn’t introduce my father to anyone I’m with...they deserve better than to be exposed to him!” you could imagine that’s how the rest of his story went then. His ex-girlfriend trying to pressure him into introducing her to Endeavor only for Natsuo to express his concern and reasons for why he couldn’t.

Then from there she must have gotten angry and confessed the truth. The whole situation was unfair and you could feel your own anger brewing, using people was one thing. But using them for your own personal benefit, pretending to love them?

That wasn’t exactly forgivable in your book. No wonder he was crying. “I’m…” would saying you’re sorry even do anything? You knew Natsuo wouldn’t take offense, but it seemed unfitting for the current situation. Instead, you found yourself leaning over.

Releasing his hand in order to wrap your arms around him, nuzzling your head against his shoulder as you embraced him. Natsuo while not overly shocked at your friendly gesture, crossed his legs and wrapped his arms around your waist before pulling you even closer.

Though your back slightly hurt, you didn’t mind. Natsuo, while not completely touch-starved, still melted into anyone’s affection. You felt his stiff body finally relax and the cool touch of his cheek against your ear as he nuzzled the side of your head.

“Thank you,” he whispered, despite the fact, there was no one else around to hear you two. “I know I keep bothering you whenever-” you reached up to tug on the back of his hair.

“You’re not a bother,” you said in a stern tone, “and you should be happy that girl is now your ex, you didn’t deserve what she put you through,” your arms tightened around him just before you pulled back and grasped his shoulders.

Making sure he was looking at you before you continued to speak, “No one deserves that, you’re a wonderful person Natsuo and I know there are others that won’t care that you’re a Todoroki or that will help you make it into a name you can be proud of,” you assured him and watched as the faintest expression of hope washed over his face.

Just that alone meant the world to you and while you knew Natsuo didn’t need any protection, you still wanted to try your best to be there for him. “Come on,” you insisted as you crawled over him in order to reach the opposite side of your bed.

Though Natsuo took up most of the space, you managed to lay down and offered him your hand. That smile of his seemed to grow and as expected, he gently grasped onto your hand as he laid down by your side.

“You can stay here if you want, it’s still daylight and I don’t have any more classes for today,” you insisted and hoped he’d take the bait because you didn’t exactly trust he wouldn’t get emotional again later.

Natsuo always seemed to overthink things and maybe that’s where his sense of guilt came from. “Hm?” he glanced away and you were quick to speak. Taking a firm grip of his hand, you slipped your fingers between his and gave him a stern expression.

“Don’t let your guilt tell you that you’re going to be a bother, I want you to stay,” your words were accompanied with another reassuring squeeze, and once more his gaze was directed back on you.“...Okay,” he replied, you smiled and turned your attention to the ceiling.

Allowing your intertwined hands to remain nestled between you. Your mind was free of any thoughts, unlike Natsuo who was debating how he could even thank you for everything you did for him. Just listening to him was enough, but you went the extra step to dry his tears and invited him to stay for however long he wanted.

Was it that you knew he found comfort in you, your scent, your presence? Is there any way he could express his gratitude? Suddenly his own words came back, echoing like thunder inside his head. ‘I...couldn’t bring myself to use my quirk again,’ he held his breath and slowly lifted his free hand, turning it so he could gaze at his palm.

The sound of his and Touya’s laughter now softly echoed alongside his words. ‘It’s been years,’ he thought before he turned to glance at you, but ended up flinching when he realized you were already looking at him.

“Are you okay?” you questioned, now that everything was off his chest he should be, right? Then again, you have been wrong before. Natsuo almost seemed to be in a trace, though his eyes hadn’t left yours and his hand remained lifted in the air.

‘Would I even know how to control it? I can’t risk hurting Y/n but if this proves how thankful I am to them then…’ he finally seemed to make a choice and he slowly turned on his side causing the bed to shake along with his movements.

“Can I see your other hand for a moment?” he questioned, knowing that if anything did happen to go wrong with his quirk that he could use the basic knowledge he learned from his medical welfare classes to hopefully undo any damage.

“Hm?” you seemed a tad confused by his request and why he was holding his hand up, but once more you reminded yourself that Natsuo had no ill intentions. You maneuvered yourself on your side much like him and slowly held your free hand out.

Natsuo smiled and carefully connected your fingertips, then he took a deep breath. Channeling his long-forgotten quirk to the center of his palm, though he could feel the cold rush. It came as a surprise to you. In fact, the sudden drastic drop in temperature coming from Natsuo's hand was an utter shock.

Even knowing quirks existed, this almost seemed impossible. “N-Natsuo?” you worried something was very wrong when you felt it, the cold rough texture of tiny ice crystals growing across your skin. You almost wanted to pull away as there came a slight pulsing pain with the bitter coldness that was Natsuo's quirk.

But instead, you looked to your hand, your jaw was clasped closed and your eyes were wide. Too focused on those ice crystals that continued to grow and slowly frost over the top of your fingers. You stared in amazement.

“I...b-but you…” your words were all jumbled together and you almost missed the fact that Natsuo’s palm was covered in a thick lining of ice and how red the skin surrounding it was. Still, even if this brought him some minor discomfort.

He couldn’t help but smile as he watched your reaction, the small feeling of heartache numb for the moment and replaced with a small dose of happiness. Partly due to you and partly because he was relieved he could in fact control his quirk even after years of refusing to use it.

“I just wanted to say thank you for being there for me,” he stated and though still astonished, you glanced back at him. Even though the small mishaps would more than likely continue to happen as well as people that would attempt to use him for their own personal benefits. You somehow knew he was going to be just fine.

[mandoalorian]

Pain Is For The Living [Javier Peña x F!Reader] - Chapter 4 [SMUT]

Summary: Sex work in the heat of 1980’s Colombia was never going to be a walk in the park. Especially not when you had a crush on your number one client, agent Javier Peña. You’d been warned about him and his reputation, but after one very specific incident that would change your life forever, you find yourself attached to him like never before and you’d do anything to make him yours. Even if it means endangering your own life.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: SMUT: fingering, cunnigless, female receiving oral, (loss of virginity kind of), so much sexual tension. And more feelings! Unrequited love... or is it?

Word count: 3300

Pain Is For The Living Masterlist

* Reblogs appreciated and my ko-fi is linked in my bio if you wish to support my writing!

Neither you or Javier could sleep that night. At least, not at first. Javier’s bedroom was, although decently sized, pretty empty. You figured he wasn’t the type of guy to keep momentums anyway. His closet was small and you imagined the rainbow array of shirts that were neatly hung up, one-by-one. Staring at the ceiling at two in the morning doing your damn hardest not to think about what happened back at the brothel was proving to be very, very difficult, and you’d do anything to catch a distraction.

Sleeping in his bed though, meant you could seize the perfect opportunity to get to know him better without exactly confronting him. Everything in Javi’s room was brown, an ugly shade of brown too. He clearly didn’t care much for interior design, although you did find it odd that his front room was majorly decked out in nice furniture, and yet every other room in his small apartment felt… empty. Rolling over, you quietly opened the drawer on his nightstand. It was hard to see, being that all the lights were out and it was the middle of the night, but you could just about make out the contents. Half a pack of cigarettes, two lighters, many many condoms (which was strange since Javi almost always insisted that he go bareback whenever you two were intimate), sleeping pills and a passport.

Javier couldn’t sleep either, even though he’d drunkenly fallen asleep on that couch plenty of times. He was thinking of you; not only replaying the fact he said your name while he was fucking Nina, but also the fact that you wanted to kiss him. And honestly? He wanted to kiss you too. Javier balled his hand into a fist as he felt his chest tighten. He seriously wanted to kiss you too.

His thought process halted when he heard you shuffling down the hallway, your hesitant footsteps tip-toeing into the living room and turning on one of the amber colored lamps. Your shy frame was highlighted perfectly in the shadows and Javier simply couldn’t take his eyes off you, strictly in awe of your beauty.

“Javi?” you asked, tiredly rubbing your eyes. You had spotted him lounging on the couch, shirtless with the same crocheted blanket you had slept in, now draped across his lower half.

“Hermosa,” his voice was rich and rasp. “You’re still awake.” the statement came out as an observation, more so than a question.

You fumbled a little with your words before eventually sighing and nodding your head. “Yeah.”

“Is my bed not comfortable enough?” Javier enquired, leaning over to the coffee table and turning on another lamp, now illuminating his side of the room.

You chuckled lightly. “A lot more comfortable than the beds back at the brothel, that’s for sure.” you replied, and Javier nodded knowingly.

“Something on your mind?” Javier prodded further.

Yeah, him.

When you didn’t reply, Javier extended his arm and ushered you over. You sat down next to him, on the edge of his sofa, and remained silent. But the way you could feel his chocolate coloured eyes bore into you was enough to create a cluster of nervous butterflies in the pit of your stomach. He must’ve been up for a while, because the entire atmosphere stunk of tobacco. It wasn’t bad though, it was just… Javi. His honeyed voice interrupted the silence.

“I’m sorry about earlier, about the uh-- the whole kiss thing.” He said, shuffling upwards awkwardly, his hand remaining clutched on the crocheted blanket.

“Pay it no mind,” You replied maybe a little too quickly. You’d rather just forget about the incident, and not come to terms with just how upset his rejection had made you. “It’s um…” you looked up at the ceiling and then back at Javier. “...hard, to stay distracted, when I’m alone. I was fine with Connie and Steve. I was fine with you. But… sleeping alone is hard.”

Javier nodded understandingly. “I know how it feels to need a bed warmer, believe me,”

You came to the sudden conclusion that being a ‘bed warmer’ was all you ever were to Javier, no matter how much more you yearned for. That’s all you’d ever be.

“Although I suppose that’s not exactly what you meant,” Javier continued. “Is it?”

“I wouldn’t know,” you replied quietly. “I mean guys come to me all the time for that quick release. To feel less lonely. But I’ve never really sought out the same thing, you know?”

“Never?” Javier asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Not even a hook-up?”

You shook your head and scratched the back of your neck. “I uh-- I was a virgin before I moved to Colombia,” you laughed wearily.

Javier’s reaction was priceless. His eyes became apologetic and his jaw loosened. “You haven’t been here long,” he grumbled. “Tell me, have you only slept with the guys from the brothel?”

You looked down at your hands feeling slightly ashamed and nodded your head. Javier’s hand found your chin and he tilted it upwards, forcing your gaze to lock with his.

“I’m sorry.” he muttered.

You furrowed your eyebrows together in bewilderment. “Sorry for what? Working here was my choice.”

“No,” Javi said quickly, placing a hand over your thigh, his dark eyes not diverting from your face once. “I know what the guys are like there,” Javier said, shaking his head. “Hell, I know what I’m like. I had no idea…” Javier paused for a moment before continuing. “Was-- was I your first?”

You smiled at him and shook your head ‘no’, and Javier looked somewhat relieved.

“Tell me cariño, do they make you feel good?”

You thought about the question but practically knew the answer immediately. No. Because sex at the brothel was never for pleasure, it was for rent money. It was to put food on your table and to wear clothes that fit.

“Only you Javi,” you replied softly, your hand finding his as you began to trace circles into his skin. “Only you have made me cum.” you confessed.

It wasn’t necessarily anything he’d done, because you’d only ever given Javier blowjobs and let him put it in you. It was more so the fact you were in his personal company, and you were so deeply attracted to him.

Javier chuckled dryly and shook his head. “That can’t be true hermosa,” he sighed. “I’ve been so selfish with you. If I had known, I would’ve fucked you real good. I would’ve made it good for you. I mean it.”

He sounded mad at himself, even though there was truly no way he could understand your circumstances.

“I can make you feel good. I can�� distract you, if that’s really what you need,” he promised. “Just say the word.”

His voice had lowered considerably, and his words alone were enough to create a pool of arousal between your thighs. You were almost scared to think about the wet patch you’d leave on the sofa beneath you as his large hand travelled up your thigh and underneath his shirt that he’d given you to wear.

“Please.” you nodded breathlessly as Javier fiddled with the hem.

“Tell me you want it.” he urged as he tugged at the bottom button.

You swallowed thickly and nodded your head harder this time. “I want it, Javi. Please. I want you.”

“Lay back,” Javier ordered, pushing you into the sofa where he had originally been laying.

Your skin flushed with heat as Javier carefully opened your legs and positioned his head in between your soft thighs. “Your cunt looks so sweet,” Javier praised, a throaty moan escaping his lips as he rubbed his thumb between your soft wet folds. “Have you ever let a man taste you before?”

“No,” you squeaked as his thumb found your clit. He rubbed small and tight circles over your bundle of nerves, but his movements were achingly slow. “No man has wanted to.”

Javier huffed. “That’s not true, I promise,” he replied, tapping his thumb over your clit. You gasped longingly, your entire body tensing up. He drew back from you and looked at you, wanting to make sure that you were okay. He could see the way your nipples had hardened and were poking through the shirt he had given you, and it made his cock twitch with excitement underneath the blanket. “Hey pretty girl, relax. I need you to relax.”

You whimpered understandingly and took a deep breath before closing your eyes.

“Look how wet you are.” Javier said, leaning back down and licking his lips. The richness in his voice alone spread through your body like wildfire. He pressed a kiss into your mound, his mustache tickling your skin before lowering his head even further down. The curve of his nose bumped against your clit and you felt yourself clench around nothing, needing him so desperately.

Then, without warning, Javier slid his tongue in between your wet folds, gliding it up and down. Obscene wet sounds filled the room and if you weren’t already seeing stars, you might have even been slightly embarrassed. Your hands, that were once clenched around the curve of a cushion, had instinctively wormed their way into Javier’s chocolate coloured hair.

Once Javier had you spread open, his tongue became more dexterous and began to flick over your clit; up and down, up and down. He was skillful, to say the least. Occasionally though, he’d stop his movements, bringing you down from your high, only to start again. He was teasing you so much, but he was completely right. No man had ever made you feel this good. No man had ever cared about your own pleasure, other than Javier of course. His lips latched onto your sweet spot and he began to suck on it longingly, groaning wantonly against you and pushing vibrations through your core.

“Taste so fucking good, fuck,” Javier cursed, pulling off your cunt with a pop as he regained his breath. “Better than I imagined.”

And just like that… the nervous butterflies came fluttering back. He’d imagined this.

Javier found the way you shivered adorable and it only spurred him on, wanting nothing more than to bring you to the greatest heights of your pleasure. Your perfect sweetness glossed over his lips as he lapped your wetness up like a starved man, and your writhing beneath him didn’t stop once. You tugged on his hair as you felt your climax build up.

Recognising that you were close, Javier, pushed two of his fingers inside of you, scissoring them and stretching you open. Finally you could clench around something. His mouth didn’t stop though, and his tongue became faster and faster as he pumped his fingers inside of you.

Javier curled his fingers and they pushed against your special spot, your body involuntarily arching with pleasure and a long moan of his name leaving your lips.

“Oh yeah, that’s it, isn’t it?” Javier asked, a wicked smile crossing his lips. “Right there huh? You like that?”

You couldn’t even fathom words, only his name leaving your lips in the form of a chant as he continued his movements. You weren’t going to last, and he knew it too. In fact, Javier was too busy focusing on giving you pleasure, he hadn’t even realised the way his cock was leaking too, desperate for some kind of attention.

It was incredibly erotic, every time you looked down and saw Javier’s fingers get lost inside of you as he ravished your cunt. He was so good at it, you had no doubt he’d done it a million times before. One last thrust of his two fingers sent you into a frenzy as your cunt clenched around his fingers, and you came undone.

You were a heaving, gasping mess, and Javier had left you unlike anyone had ever left you before. As he pulled his hand away from you, your cunt continued to clench around nothing and your thighs were twitching as the pleasure raced through your veins.

Javier’s fingers shone with your wet arousal and he brought them up to your own lips. “Look at the mess you made. Such a delicious mess,” he cooed. “Taste.”

You parted your lips and sucked your arousal from his fingers. “How was that, hm?”

You nodded wordlessly. “Th-thank you,” you mumbled, your eyes feeling heavy with post coital exhaustion. “Let me-- let me return the favour.”

“No sweet girl,” Javier said. “You need to rest.”

The agent pushed your hair out of your face and— fuck, he wanted to kiss you so bad. He wanted to kiss your pretty, swollen lips. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. Kissing you might only confirm these feelings he had been trying to push away. “Sleep tight hermosa.”

You mumbled something incoherent before you fell fast asleep, your smile not fading away once. Javier removed his blanket and wrapped it over your body. That was when he realised he’d came too. He hadn’t even done anything… nothing to pleasure himself, but he’d come just from pleasuring you. That had never happened before.

He cursed to himself, reaching for the box of tissues that he kept on the coffee table and wiped himself down. Padding into the kitchen, Javier made you a glass of water and set it down next to you, just in case you woke up thirsty during the night.

He remembered your words. ‘Sleeping alone is hard.’

Javier brought his pillows, duvet and blankets from his bedroom and set them down on the floor so he was laying next to you. The last thing he wanted was for you to wake up alone and be in a panic. He considered just lifting you up and taking you to his own bed, that way he wouldn’t have to take the floor, but he just didn’t want to risk waking you.

Javier barely slept that night, his mind active and his thoughts racing a million times an hour. Did he regret what just happened? No, absolutely not. He’d do it a million times over. But that didn’t make it right. Sure, he’d slept with his informants many times but you were different. He already had a past relationship with you, he already knew you. And he felt like he had some kind of responsibility for you. Romantic relationships never ended well for Javier, so he could only hope that whatever you and him had going on, would remain strictly sexual. No feelings. There was no need for feelings. No time for relationships in the middle of this mess.

———

Javier really didn’t want to wake you, but he had to go to work, and he wasn’t willing to leave you home alone. Besides, you were his informant. And the DEA needed information.

When you woke up, you were fine, much to both yours and Javier’s surprise. The bliss from the night before still hadn’t escaped your memory, and had set you on course for a pretty good day ahead. Javier couldn’t really cook (minus paella), and so you both swallowed down some dry toast and you finished your glass of water.

Javier got a phone call just before the both of you were about to leave. It was brief, and ended just as you threw over one of his denim jackets that he’d loaned you. “DEA sent a couple of guys over to your place to pick up your possessions. You’ll be able to get changed once we arrive at the office.”

You nod your head gratefully, but then stop as Javier heads out the front door. “Wait, I didn’t give anyone my key.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Javier replied. “They will have found another way in.”

You weren’t sure how much you liked the idea of a bunch of strange cops breaking into your tiny apartment but nonetheless, you were just glad to have fresh and clean clothes. Not that you minded living in Javier’s pale yellow button down, but if you were going to be visiting DEA offices and God knows where else, you at least wanted to be dressed appropriately.

Javier told you to wait in the car while he nipped inside to grab your clothes. He handed the duffel bag to you through the car window and waited for you to get changed so the both of you could walk into the office together.

His office was bigger than you imagined, and spacious too. Despite it being pretty early in the morning, all the desks were filled and it seemed like the agents were hard at work.

“This is Luisa,” Javier pointed at the receptionist. “This is where we clock in and out of work. If we ever go out on impulse stake-outs or find the need to follow a lead, we gotta sign our name. It’s dumb, really.”

“Only Agent Peña never signs his name. Neither does Agent Murphy. Both of ‘em are as bad as each other.” Luisa laughed.

Javier rolled his eyes. “Pipe down Luisa,” he replied jokingly, his eyes darting to her hands. “Is that a new nail colour? Hmph, suits you.” he charmed before whisking you to the next station.

“There is Messina’s office,” Javier pointed through a narrow hallway towards an opaque glass door at the very end. “She thinks she runs the place but she’s only just transferred here.”

“Here is where I work,” Javier sighed, tapping his finger on a desk which was stacked high with paperwork. The tapping had clearly alerted the blonde haired man, who you remembered from yesterday. “And this is my partner Steve, sleeping on duty.” Javier tsked and Steve’s tired frown only deepened.

“Olivia been keepin’ us up all night,'' Steve groaned before standing up and shaking your hand. “Nice to see you here,” he said politely. “Has Javier given you a tour of the place?”

You nodded and smiled, already not hating the environment.

“Yeah. Everyone seems nice.”

You must’ve spoken too soon because in that very moment, none other than CIA Agent Bill Stechner came waltzing over, his lips curled into a smug grin.

“Well well well,” he observed, looking you up and down with judgement in his blue eyes. “What do we have here?”

Before you could reply, the man turned to Javier. “Peña, you know we don’t usually allow whores to wander the office.”

You flinched at his comment, your eyes narrowing at the unwarranted attack. Javier though, saw red, his own eyes darting up to look at Bill.

“She’s my informant.” Javier snapped back, trying his damn hardest to keep it together.

“I know who she is,” Bill seethed.

“Get the fuck outta here, Bill.” Steve sighed, standing up, his chair scraping against the floor.

Bill raised both of his hands defensively, almost as if he had done nothing wrong, and laughed darkly. With an innocent shrug of his shoulders he walked away and left you standing there, speechless.

Javier didn’t say a word, only pinched the bridge of his nose and got his head stuck straight into some paperwork.

“Yeah, you don’t wanna fuck with the CIA guys. They’re assholes.” Steve informed, his eyes glancing back over to Bill who was now sitting at his own desk. It was like the confrontation had never even happened.

“Noted.” you gulped.

“Take a seat, grab a coffee. Make yourself at home.” Steve told you.

Home. I guess this was where you’d be staying for the foreseeable future.

-—-—-—♡—-—-—-

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[sparrowjaywrites]

Forget-Me-Not

-Spencer Reid x Female Reader-  Plot: When the team is caught in explosion you wake up with no memory of who you are, or who anyone on your team is.

Y/N = Your name

Y/L/N = Your last name

H/C = Hair color

Heat burned around her as the young woman stumbled to her feet; her vision was hazy, blurred. There was a part of her who wondered if the blurriness was from her pounding head or her missing glasses… glasses moments ago she hadn’t even known she wore. Her feet kicked against debris small stones and smoldering pieces of wood; she could see an opening… a doorway red and blue lights flashed through it. She coughed as she moved, she needed to run, to get out faster… yet despite her desperate need to escape, a need she didn’t understand she couldn’t make her feet drag any quicker over the soot covered floor.

She stumbled through the doorway the red and orange haze of smoke quickly replaced by police lights that blinked fast enough she wasn’t sure if everything was washed in blue and red or possibly purple as her vision began to blur more each time she coughed. A man… no two men raced towards her shouting words she couldn’t make out past the ringing in her ears. Her knees gave out just as one of the men a handsome black man with kind eyes reached her. The other man was just as handsome though in another way… cute with curly brown hair and a singed sweater vest over a buttoned up shirt that she was sure had once been white.

She let the men drag her towards the ambulance slumping into their arms her boots dragging on the black cement. She was placed on a stretcher the second man, the nerdy one she dubbed him simply climbed in with her holding her hand tightly in his. She didn’t know why he held onto her so tightly but she found she liked it; it was comforting for some unknown reason.

The drive to the hospital seemed to pass in a blink of an eye… or maybe she’d just passed out for a moment; that was more likely she mused as she was rolled through the ER doors. Nerdy man followed her inside but was quickly rushed away by a nurse. The nurses were speaking to her asking questions she still couldn’t fully hear though she could now make out the low hum of their voices. They quickly stopped speaking to her just offering her comforting smiles as they worked. She knew she must have been loud with her hisses and yelps of pain as they began to remove blackened pieces of cloth from her legs and chest, and small pieces of metal from throughout her body.

Nerdy man was back as soon as the nurses let him past. Again her hand was in his as he talked to her and tried to smile at her. She blinked at him blankly, she couldn’t hear him… the nurses must have said as much, a doctor had even looked in her ears. Why was he bothering? Who was he, why did he seem so upset by her blank stare? He lifted a hand from hers and brushed his fingers along her cheek, she jerked her head back at the motion. Holding her hand was one thing, to touch her face when she didn’t even know him was another. The man quickly moved his hand back looking at her questioningly; hurt clear in his brown eyes.

A nurse quickly joined them injecting something into her IV, it wasn’t until her eyes began to shut that she recognized the burn in her throat and realized she had been yelling. What she had yelled she had no idea, nor did she care as her eyes drifted closed.

---Line Break---

The next time the young woman awoke she was in a room. She scanned the room with squinted eyes, she couldn’t see much of anything clearly, no she would need her glasses for that. Glasses she had left behind in the burning warehouse she had woken in originally. She cursed her stupidity her eyes landing on a man reading a book beside her, she could hear the turn of the page every few moments, far too quickly for anyone to actually read she suspected. Blinking back the haze of sleep… or drugs, yeah definitely drugs, she recognized the man.

Why was Nerdy man by her bedside again? She blinked at him staring silently until he glanced up as the beeping of her heart monitor sped up as she tried to figure out who he was. Those brown eyes that seemed so very precious to her though she knew not why locked with hers. A relieved smile split the man’s face as she immediately set the book he’d been holding aside.

“Y/N?” His voice fit him, his long lanky form straightening as he grasped her hand once again. Y/N? Who was Y/N? Was she Y/N? The woman blinked fear flickering through her as she realized she didn’t know… what was her name? How old was she? When was her birthday? Who was the man sitting next to her? “Whoa, hey it’s okay, you’re safe, we’re safe.” Nerdy man quickly reached out cupping her cheek in his large hand his long fingers gently caressing her skin as she began to hyperventilate.

“Who are you?” She managed to rasp out past her smoke damaged throat. Brown eyes widened at her question his hand quickly falling from her cheek as he gazed into her eyes worriedly.

“Y/N? It’s me, Spencer.” Spencer… the name fit, recognition pinged in the back of her mind, though the sensation was short and fleeting gone before she could grasp it.

“I… am I Y/N?” She swallowed thickly speaking her words slowly, she could hear the fear in her voice, it was almost solid it was so thick. Nerdy man… no, Spencer closed his eyes clearly blinking back panicked tears as he took a deep breath then nodded.

“Yes, you’re Y/N. I’ll be right back.” He quickly stood striding out of the room in long strides on long legs. Though blurred Y/N couldn’t help but note he had a very nice ass… shut up, Y/N, this isn’t the time. She chastised herself surprised how quickly she accepted her new… or old name. It felt like a long while before Spencer returned followed by two men, one clearly a doctor in a white coat the other a man in what was clearly a suit, though he had the tie and jacket draped over his arm.

“Hello, Agent Y/L/N, my name is Doctor Lynn; Spencer here tells me you don’t remember him?” The doctor asked slowly giving her a content smile. Y/N shakes her head silently noting the deep frown on the suited older man’s face and the pain that quickly covered Spencer’s face. “Agent Y/L/N do you know where you are?”

“A hospital… is Y/L/N my last name?” Her eyes move to Spencer as she asks the question, he had stood by her through everything from the moment she’d stumbled out of the warehouse too lying in the bed she was now in. He was who she trusted to answer her honestly.

“Yes,” Spencer said clearly though his voice rasped with unshed tears. Suit man placed a hand on his arm reassuringly.

“Agent Y/L/N, can you tell me what you remember about yourself?”

“I… I have H/C hair…” She responds after a moment of thought, small flashes of cutting off long H/C locks in a bathroom, a school bathroom as a teenager flashing through her mind, “I wear glasses… I left them in the warehouse… I couldn’t fully remember them so I didn’t pick them up.” She adds after a moment.

“Well you’re correct on those counts. Agent Hotchner, Dr. Reid could you please wait in the waiting room?” Both men shared wary looks but nodded leaving the room. The suited man shooting her a caring smile on his way out. The next few hours… at least it felt like hours were spent being whisked through the hospital from one machine to another then back again. Nurses explained what they were doing every step of the way, every hour she was asked if the remembered the three words the doctor had told her before her bed had been rolled from her room. Spoon, House, Rock. She passed with flying colors or so her Nurse, Rebecca Jones informed after each memory check.

“It seems you have amnesia Agent Y/L/N. We believe it was caused by the head injury you received in the blast along with brain damage caused by multiple seizures you experienced in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.” Dr. Lynn explained slowly and simply making sure she nodded before continuing. “You seem to be forming new memories and retaining information perfectly well, which is a surprise considering your ADHD, making us believe your experiencing retrograde amnesia, your bouts of recognition also assure us your symptoms are temporary.”

“So I’ll get my memories back?”

“You should, I can’t promise you’ll get them all back, you’ll likely never remember the moments before the blast, but overall we have high hopes for your prognosis, Agent Y/L/N.” They discussed more technical things such as bringing in a social worker and psychologist to determine if she is mentally sound enough to be in charge of herself or if her medical power of attorney would need to be brought in. It was quickly determined she would need to be placed under her medical power of attorney’s power until she at least remembered more about herself and her life. From there though she was informed of everything being done and all conversations she was not a part of them.

Normally she’d have been furious about this she suspected but considering she couldn’t even remembered her damn birthday let alone what medications she was one, where she worked, or any of her family she agreed this was probably for the best. She didn’t see Spencer or suit man again until the next day; they came into the room cleaned up and in fresh clothes.

“Hey, Y/N how you feeling?” Suit man asked smiling at her.

“Like I was blown up… which I was so that seems pretty apt.” She shrugs in response. She had learned she had second degree burns covering both her legs and a good portion of her chest. She had also been riddled with shrapnel though all of it had been removed and the cut’s either sewn or glued closed and covered. She was told she could be released in about forty eight hours when she’d been woken for the billionth time by her nurse that morning. All her wounds could be managed outside the hospital but they wanted to keep her a few days due to her concussion.

“Memories or not you’re still you.” Suit man snorts with a small grin.

“Good to know. So which of you is my medical power of attorney? They said you two were handling my affairs so I assume it’s gotta be one of ya?”

“I am, I uh… we made each other our power of attorney’s when we moved in together.” Spencer spoke up nervously. Y/N’s eyebrow rose at his words… moved in together? Her mind flicked to the sense of comfort she got from him clutching her hand, the way her mind immediately jumped to… less than appropriate thoughts when looking at his very fine ass, and the way he hand caressed her cheek. Oh… oh, that made a lot more sense now.

“Dating, engaged, or married?” She asked calmly smiling as he immediately turned bright red and started stuttering over himself.

“You two are married.” Suit man snorted. Y/N nodded slowly, thinking hard she could remember a wedding dress, blue flowers… forget-me-nots… huh ironic she snorted at the memory before smiling. It may have only been flashes but the memories brought joy, so very much joy.

“What are you smiling about?” Spencer finally found his voice sitting beside her in the same chair he’d been sat in the night before.

“I was trying to remember, forget-me-nots… at our wedding? A bit ironic now wouldn’t you say?” She asked with a small laugh. Spencer’s face lit up at her words as he chuckled along with her.

“I’ve never known anything to fit the meaning of the word better.”

“I mean, the odds, we tempted fate with that one didn’t we?”

“Clearly...” He took her hand in his squeezing it. “Do you… remember anything else?”

“My dress, at least I’m assuming I was the one in the dress,” She raises an eyebrow her eyes moving up and down his slim form. “Though I’m sure you’d look very beautiful in one.” The laughter from her other side was sudden and quickly covered up with a cough as suit guy quickly left the room.

“Your dress… I don’t wear dresses” Spencer quickly confirmed his own amused smile blindingly bright. Maybe, just maybe she could get through this after all?

 ______________________________________________________ AN: Hey Everyone I know it’s been years since I posted but I’m back with this little story I suddenly had the urge to write at 3 am. I plan to post the original version of this which is with my original character as well for anyone interested in that. I may make a part 2 if people are interested, and if not then the one with my character will probably at least get a part two. I hope you all enjoy!

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - 23

Here we are... the fluff is finally here and Rowan is back.

Enjoy the chapter.

6 months later  

The months and seasons had slowly turned and autumn in Terrasen was in full swing with the trees now having lost of all of their leaves and the days turning chilly and October had brought with it all the smells of the season.

Rowan got out of the airbase and looked up at the sky and he could smell snow in the air. His favourite type of weather. He breathed in deeply and enjoyed for a second the feeling of being on land once again after months on a ship. This last deployment had taken a toll on the whole squadron and all of his team members had plans of enjoying their well deserved time off.

“Rowan!” A voice called him and he turned seeing Gavriel coming his way “need a lift somewhere?”

“I was going to call a taxi.”

“Come, I’ll drive you to the fire station.” The man said, knowing full well where Rowan was headed.  

Rowan nodded and thanked him. Aelin had told him she was coming off shift around noon. It was eleven and he had some time. 

“Are you looking forward seeing Aelin again?” Asked Gavriel once in the car.

“Yes, I have missed her like crazy.”

The man at his side chuckled “you never missed Lyria this much. Never spent so much time on your phone either calling her or texting her.”

Rowan sighed “Aelin is different.”

Gavriel nodded “you found a great one. Truly.”

Gavriel had never been a fan of Lyria either. And the more he thought about it the more he realised that a lot of people have never been keen on his ex wife. No one ever believed she was actually in love with him, but his friends now were fully supporting him with Aelin. Maybe this was how it was actually meant to go.

While he was wool-gathering they had arrived at the fire station and Gav had parked beside the pavement to let him out. 

“Have fun you two.”

“Have a nice time off too, my friend.”

Rowan grabbed his duffel bag and turned to the yard. The doors to the apparatus floor were closed. He peeked through the glass and spotted engine and truck. Good, they were in. Now he had to try and make it a surprise.

A moment later he spotted Luca coming out of the main communal area and grabbed his arm “shhh Luca, it’s me.”

The young man turned and smiled deeply when he recognised him.

“Can you please ask Aelin if she can come out here? Invent an excuse, please.” The boy grinned and nodded in understanding “welcome back, captain. She missed you.”

“I missed her too.” He admitted while adjusting his uniform.

At that Luca walked out and Rowan bravely climbed on top of the engine. Dropped his bag and lay low until he heard her voice.

“Luca, what is it? Is there something wrong with the rigs?”

Rowan kept silent and hid a bit better but with his height it was difficult. He also felt the crazy urge to giggle like a schoolgirl.

His legs hit the rail and he noticed her turn around looking for the origin of the sound.

“Come out. Show your face. I can kick your arse.”

He grinned and sat on the rig with his legs swinging from the edge while she had her back at him “Is that so, captain?”

He saw her turn and her expression morphed in the smile he adored. Being apart from her had been hell. He had no true idea how mad he was about her until he was forced to spend six months away from Aelin. The thought that he still had four years of that, made him want to scream.

Aelin gasped as she noticed Rowan sitting on top of the fire engine “you are back.” She said softly and Rowan nodded and heard her sniffle “you are truly back.” Aelin could not believe her eyes and for a moment she thought she had fallen asleep and it was all a dream.

“Come up here and see it for yourself.”

Aelin moved as if in a daze, slowly climbed the ladder and once at the top his strong arms pulled her to him and they fell into a heap on top of the hoses.

“Hey you…” he said as Aelin lay on top of him. Her blue eyes fixed on him.

“Hey you…” she replied burying her face in the crook of his neck to inhale the scent of him. He was home, he was back. He was real. Rowan’s arms wound around her in a tight hug “you have no idea how much I missed you. Since they told us when we were coming back I have been counting the days that I still had to spend away from you.”

Aelin did not reply she just melted in his embrace “you have been away from me 192 days and 20 hrs.” She said softly against his neck. She had counted each single day and the more they accumulated, the more she longed for the moment she could hug him and kiss him again.

“It felt like an eternity.”

Rowan turned his face and finally met her gaze and his eyes dropped to her lips and she must have noticed his stare because she looked up at him and kissed him.

The taste of her lips was enough to cancel all the longing of those months apart. He deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing her lips until she opened for him and a moan escaped Rowan’s mouth as tongues clashed and she moved fully on top of him.

“Aelin…” he said against her lips.

“I know, we are on top of the engine and I know how paranoid you are. Let’s just make out for a while, then once I am off shift we can go home and indulge in more private activities.”

They made out heavily for a good half an hour, then they finally came up for breath. With his hand Rowan pulled back a strand of hair from her face then flipped her nose feeling desperate for contact with her even if they were almost glued together.

“You seem tired.”

Her head thumped on his chest “long and busy shift.”

“Looks like someone needs some heavy cuddling tonight.”

She stared at him and grinned “always. And a back rub.”

“Something else?”

Her grin became wicked “of course, but later.”

She had so much to tell him but she would do it once they were back at home. On top of a fire engine was not ideal.

“I thought you were going to bring Lorcan too.”

“He will meet with Elide later I think. He always has a lot to do after we come back from a mission. But he will see her. The man has been pining like crazy.”

Aelin laughed “honestly? I can’t believe it.”

“Hey I was there and I couldn’t believe it.”

Aelin sat up “come on, let’s go and say hi to the others.”

“No,” he pulled her down back to him and squeezed her.

She brushed his hair and he closed his eyes and he almost purred in delight. Aelin smiled. Iceman, the man who seemed incapable of showing emotions was addicted to cuddling.

They stayed on top of the rig until Aelin heard Peter’s voice and second team arriving.

“Come on, buzzard, second team is here which means it’s time for us to go home.”

Swiftly she made her way down and Rowan followed.

“Hi Pete!” She greeted him happily.

The man looked behind her back “welcome back, sir.”

Rowan turned red at being caught sneaking down the engine but the other captain did not seem bothered.

“Thank you. It’s nice to be back.”

In that instant her whole team poured out in the main area and spotted Rowan behind her.

“Oh, that’s why she never got back.” Said Brullo.

“Yes, yes, the captain and I were cuddling on top of the rig. Now go home and relax.”

Lysandra moved closer to her ear “go and get some, girl. Just don’t make me an aunt yet.”

Aelin laughed “promise.”

The team walked out and Aelin grabbed Rowan’s hand “let me get out of this uniform.”

They reached the changing rooms and it was full of the guys from the second team. She went to her locker and opened the door and disappeared behind it.

“How was the night, cap?”

“Long,” she said, popping her head from behind the door “it seemed like the whole of east Orynth needed us last night.” She saw Rowan on the doorstep and smiled at him while wearing a polo shirt and then a hoodie “oh yeah we had to evacuate a couple who got stuck in an elevator.” And she grinned at Rowan “and by the time we got to open the trap they had decided to pass the time in an interesting way.”

“No bloody way,” commented Peter from his corner.

“The idiots,” she slammed the locker closed “I’ll see you all in a day.” She grabbed her bag and joined Rowan who was waiting for her. He pulled his arm around her shoulder “do you always change with the guys around?”

“Are you jealous?” he did not reply.

“Ro,” she stopped “they are not interested in me. And if I have to strip naked for my shower I’ll do it in private. But if they see me in my knickers and bra, what’s the difference with strangers seeing me in a bathing suit?” She replied “and as you saw I wear sports bra and comfy knickers for work. The sexy stuff is just for you.”

“I guess that firefighting with a thong is not recommended.”

Aelin laughed and they got to the car “jump in, buzzard.”

Before going home they stopped at the supermarket and Aelin explained she had nothing in the house and Rowan rolled his eyes muttering something about her diet.

At the supermarket she went to get a hand held basket but Rowan pulled her towards the bigger trolleys telling her that they needed to do a big shopping since he was back and was going to cook.

Once inside, Rowan offered to push the trolley and Aelin just grabbed his arm and walked at his side, happy at the domestic scene. They were shopping together and he had not mentioned his flat. Maybe she was worrying about nothing about asking to make it official and move in with her.

“Why are you buying all these veggies?” She asked him as he stopped at the vegetables and fruit aisle.

“To cook.” He stooped for a kiss “and stop complaining.”

They kept walking around the supermarket and Aelin saw the trolley getting fuller and fuller. It looked as if Rowan had every intention of keeping her well fed. Not that she complained.

An hour later they finally made it to the checkout. Rowan told her to put the groceries on the belt while he packed and she giggled at the military precision with which he packed.

She paid for the shopping and he carried the bags back to the car.

“We should have a budget for groceries. This one was big because you have nothing in the house.”

“Make sure the budget allows for chocolate expenses.”

“We’ll see.”

They got back in the car and not long after they were finally back at home. 

Once inside, Rowan dropped the bags on the kitchen island and started unpacking straight away. 

Aelin dropped his bag in the bedroom and joined him in the kitchen with bird Rowan in her arms “someone else wants to say hi.”

Rowan smiled “it’s actually quite nice. It looked lovely online.”

Aelin hugged the toy “he is so soft.”

“Come on, help me unpack.” She put bird Rowan back in the bedroom and went back to the kitchen and together they methodically unpacked the groceries ready to feed a family of five.

Slowly she watched her fridge become full again, something she hadn’t seen in six months.

“Now, let me take a shower, get changed and I’ll make lunch.” He kissed her softly and Aelin purred.

“A quick shower. If you come in as well we’ll never have lunch.”

“Spoilsport.” She turned but Rowan grabbed her arms and pulled her to his chest, his arm around her waist and his mouth on her neck trailing hot kisses along its length. Aelin threw her head back, but Rowan pulled back “fun times later. Food first.”

Aelin groaned in silence at the loss of contact with his body.

When he came back from his quick shower he found her on their bed with her huge hockey jersey and a pair of shorts, barely visible under the huge item of clothing. His eyes landed on her long legs and until that moment he had not fully realised how desperately he needed her. But lunch was a priority and he could not get distracted.

“Come on young lady, let’s go and get you fed.” He offered her a hand and Aelin climbed down the bed and they got to the kitchen.

Aelin sat on the counter and studied him while he set out all of the ingredients and started prepping them.

Then she decided to be brave and pose the question “Ro, do you want to move in with me? As in officially?”

Rowan looked at her perplexed “I thought that’s what we were doing? Living together?”

“Are we though? We never talked about it. You just stayed here after the accident.”

“So?” He asked while slicing the carrots.

“You still have your flat and some stuff there. And I understand if you want to keep your place for yourself to have a moment away from me if it gets too much. I know I am an handful.”

Rowan threw the veggies in the pan and then moved to her.

“Rowan the hob.” She ordered him. Her firefighter paranoia kicking in.

He switched off the gas and moved to her, between her legs and gently took her face in his hands “I only kept my flat in case you got fed up with me and threw me out. I don’t need it. I can sell it.” His hand brushed her hair “I thought I threw you enough hints that I was not moving out. Yes, you are a handful but I love living with you.”

Her arms went around his neck “so we are doing it.” Rowan nodded and kissed her “I can bring all my stuff here in the next few days.”

“I have a spare bedroom, dump your stuff in there.” She grinned and her legs went around his back and kissed him in a dangerous way, but he pulled back.

“Lunch?”

“I am famished.”

“Then let me cook.”

She smiled and swinged her legs happily. She could not believe it. She and Rowan had been together officially for around nine months but only spent three of those together and they were now officially shacking up. She was excited and for some strange reason it felt normal. With Sam it had taken much longer. They had been dating for over a year before she asked him. But with Rowan had felt natural, probably because of how their living situation had started.

“Now, this is how a stir fry looks like.”

“Still too many veggies.”

“Menace.”

Aelin grinned and stole a piece of chicken from the pan. His food tasted so much better than her mess.

Eventually they finished dinner and ended up on the sofa, Aelin all cosied up against him mentally getting ready to tell him everything that had happened while he was away.

“Ro,” she said softly, holding him “I have to tell you something.”

He looked down to her and her tone scared him.

“What, Fireheart?”

Aelin loosened a breath “while you were away a lot of stuff happened. Bad stuff.”

She felt him stiffen “how bad?”

And Aelin told him. About Hamel, her working with the police. Being assaulted in the house, Aedion being shot and the wedding postponed. Her going undercover and almost getting killed again before the detectives shot Hamel. About Hamel being the cause of Sam and Thomas’ deaths.”

Rowan stood abruptly and started pacing in the living room. His expression difficult to read. Rowan paced a bit more and a few times it seemed like he wanted to say something but then stopped. There was rage in him.”A guy, a stranger was in our house and tried to kill you. Hamel’s men tried to kill Aedion and you, not happy of all this, just went and played cop and almost got killed again?” He was not raising his voice but Aelin knew, he was furious. He paced around the coffee table “Rutting hell, what the fuck were you thinking?”

Aelin was taken aback by the harshness of his words “why you didn’t tell me?” His tone angry. His hand nervously ran through his hair. For a brief second he even stopped his pacing but never looked at Aelin in the eyes.

“You were away. How could I?” She stood in front of him “if I had told you, you would have worried and not concentrated on your job and risked getting killed. And I could not have that. I…” she felt tears stinging her eyes “I can’t lose you.”

“What if I lost you?” He shouted back at her, giving his back to Aelin “I can’t lose you either. And I almost did. Twice.” He walked out on the balcony and Aelin let him go and went back to the bedroom and curled on the bed hugging bird Rowan. And cried.

Rowan leaned against the rail of the balcony and stared at the lights of the city slowly coming alive as darkness fell. He was furious, but not at her. He was mad at fate who gave him a woman to love once again and did its best to take her from him. In an instant all his fears, all his doubts and his reasons for not getting involved again had come back. He took his head in his hands and the weak part in him told him to bail. To ignore that just earlier they had taken an extra step in their relationship and just get out of there. Go back being alone and cold. It was far easier. 

Except it was not.

He turned to the house and looked at the bedroom. Aelin was curled in bed. He could not leave her. No matter the fears, he could not give up on her, not when she brought him happiness and gave him again the will to feel. He could not go back to a life of ice, pain and guilt. So he did the only thing he could do. He walked back to their bedroom.

She was all curled up and hugging the bird he gave her.

He climbed in bed with her and pulled her closer but Aelin turned and faced him, her eyes all puffy.

“I am sorry, I am a jerk.” he whispered, brushing her hair from her face and drying her tears with the back of his hand “I haven’t seen you in six months and all I can do is shout at you.” He kissed her once “I am not mad at you. Yes, you are reckless but I am more mad at what happened.” He hugged Aelin and drew her closer “I can’t stand the idea that you had to go through all this. And Sam…”

Aelin buried her face in his neck “I am better. Lys and the guys kept me from breaking down. Without them I don’t know…”

Rowan sighed “I should have been here. It looks like I haven’t learned from my past.” At the deep anguish in his voice, Aelin grabbed his face and kissed him deeply.

“You make me stupidly happy.” He told her, a hand brushing her head “and no matter how scared I am of your job or of what the future holds for us, I am not letting you go.” But she sensed unease in his voice.

She sniffled  “you are still a bit mad at me.”

Rowan shook his head “no, not at you. At a lot of things, yes. But not mad at you.” His forehead brushed hers “I was overwhelmed and I overreacted. I am glad you did not tell me.” His nose bumped hers “you are right I would have been worried sick and not being able to concentrate and in our line of jobs is a deadly thing.”

Aelin nodded and kissed him gently “thank you for coming back to me.” She whispered against his lips.

“I made you a promise.” His hand sneaked under her shirt, caressing the length of her back. Aelin rolled on her back and pulled her jersey off, remaining only in her shorts. Rowan’s gaze became lustful and she pulled him down to her for a heated kiss. Rowan reached for the back of his t-shirt and pulled it off and discarded it on the floor and then moved on top of her, caging her head between his arms. Aelin took in the expanse of his chest with her hands, then followed the lines of his tattoo with her fingers. 

“I missed this so much,” he whispered as his head ducked in the crook of her neck.

“Definitely better than on the phone,”Aelin joked pulling him down to her completely, skin touching. His mouth trailed south leaving scorching kisses on her collarbone and then down to her breasts. Aelin’s back arched on instinct and in response Rowan took one of her hard peaks in his mouth and Aelin moaned, fingers burying in his back and leaving gentle moon-shaped marks.

Aelin rocked her hips for friction and she felt Rowan grin “so impatient.”

“I need you…” she breathed “we can have all the foreplay in the second run, but not now…”

His mouth bit lightly on her neck then his hand slid down until it hit the band of her shorts and knickers “so I guess you don’t need these…” and in a swift motion she was bare in front of him.

“Well, if I am naked, so do you, captain.” Rowan smiled and peeled off his briefs. He leaned back down and her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him much closer until she felt him nudge her near where she desperately needed him.

“I love you,” he whispered and after months apart they met again.

*

Aelin was sitting against the head of the bed and Rowan’s head was in her lap while her fingers played gently with his hair “do you know how to ice skate?” She asked him.

“A bit, why?”

“They opened an ice rink down in the main square and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. It’s been a long time since I did it.” He turned on his back and looked up “I’d love to. Want to go tonight?”

Aelin nodded “can we have dinner out as well? Have a proper date?”

“Are you asking me out, captain?” Rowan smiled and stretched his arm to caress her cheek.

“Well, it’s my right as well to woo my boyfriend.”

Rowan smiled and sat back up and went to kiss her “I am yours.”

“What time does your shift starts tomorrow?”

“At ten and it’s my usual 24hrs shift.” She told him.

“We should not stay out too long. You came off another night shift this morning and never slept. I need to tuck you in in bed early.”

“Yes, sir.”

Rowan got off the bed and stood, holding out his hand to her “come on, miss firefighter, let’s get you ice skating.”

Aelin beamed in joy and got off the bed and went to put some clothes on. A polo shirt and her favourite TFD hoodie. Then she moved to the bird toy and got her dog tags from it.

“Make sure you have a nice layer on, it’s getting colder outside.” He pulled a scarf around her neck “forecast says it might snow.”

Aelin groaned “I love winter, but snow always causes so many accidents.” Then she realised what she said “I am sorry, I didn’t mean…”

He stooped to kiss her “it’s okay. I am fine.”

She smiled back at him, “let’s go skating, captain.”

Hand in hand they walked to the main square enjoying the chill air and the winter feeling.

“Look,” said Aelin once they reached the square  “They have street vendors.”

“I thought you wanted to go out for dinner.”

She turned around and walked backward facing him “but this is winter fair food. It’s so good.”

“Come,” Rowan grabbed her hand “I’ll buy you dinner.” They walked to one of the stall “what do you want?”

“A nice juicy burger.” She smelled the food around her “and a couple of skewers as well.”

Rowan bought the food for her and himself and they sat down on a bench munching away happily.

In front of her the ice rink was surrounded by people being happy and having fun. Then a little blonde girl with pig tails ran to her “hello, gorgeous.” Aelin picked up the girl “where are your parents?” The little girl pointed in a random place. Rowan ruffled her hair and the girl giggled happily.

Then all of a sudden “Lynne.” And a woman hurried towards them “momma.” The little girl screamed at recognising the woman. Aelin passed the child to her mother “thank you,” said the woman hugging her daughter.

“She was adorable,” said Aelin leaning her head against Rowan’s shoulder. He kissed her head “she really was.”

Rowan eventually stood and took Aelin’s hand “Ice skating?”

Aelin joined him and together they went to the rental place and got their skates and changed into them.

Aelin took tentative steps to the entrance of the rink while Rowan had his hand on her lower back.

While Rowan went for the cautionary approach and moved some baby steps on the ice, Aelin was being her usual carefree self and jumped straight in the fray “Come on, buzzard, it’s easy.”

By the time she completed a few laps around the rink, Rowan was still holding to the edge for dear life. She slid to him and took his hands “come with me.” She took his hands and placed them on her sides “easy… follow me.” Slowly he got more confident and they managed to skate hand in hand.

The hour on the the ice was up and they were sitting on a bench again when when Lys texted her that she and Aedion were meeting Elide and Lorcan and have dinner together and invited them as well.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to see Lorcan out of work.” But his smile turned wicked “Oh no, I need to see smitten Lorcan.”

Aelin leaned forward and kissed him “but no jokes in front of Elide.”

“Don’t worry I’ll just gather enough material to take the mickey out of him when we are alone.”

Gently she patted his arms “you really are evil.”

He nodded proudly “no news there. You should know by now.”

The other two couples arrived not long after and Rowan laughed at seeing Lorcan with his arm around Elide’s shoulders. The scene was almost ridiculous given how tall was the man compared to the woman.

“Aren’t they cute?” Whispered Aelin, grabbing his hand and walking toward the couple.

“Hi guys,” said a very happy Elide, waving her hand at Rowan and Aelin.

“Hi, darling.” Aelin hugged her friend and then looked up at the man at her side “evening, commodore.”

“I am just Lorcan tonight.”

Rowan snorted loudly “sure, Lor,”

“Lys and Aedion are on their way.” Added Aelin.

“Did you go ice skating?” Asked Rowan to his boss.

Elide laughed “I tried to convince him but he laughed at me.”

“Oh it would have been amazing to see the drunken giraffe.” commented Rowan with a wicked grin and Lorcan growled back at him “Whitethorn…”

“What’s the drunken giraffe?” Aelin smiled, ready for some snooping.

“Don’t you dare…”

And now the whole group was even more interested.

“So,” started Rowan with an evil grin “Lor was my captain and I was just a lieutenant. We had a team evening here in Orynth and it was winter. The ice skating rink was out. We had a few girls we wanted to impress, so we took them out.” He narrated, while Lorcan glared at him “Lorcan tried to skate but he is stupidly tall and well…” Rowan moved his arms with a jerky motion “it was hilarious.” He continued “his girl called him a drunken giraffe.”

Everyone burst out laughing and for a moment that story threw a funnier light on the man who seemed to be made of ice.

“Fine, fine Rowan you had your fun.”

Elide gave him a pat on his shoulder and in that instant Lysandra and Aedion joined them.

“We are here. Sorry we are late, parking was a pain.” 

Aelin jumped all excited “we can finally have dinner.”

“You haven’t stopped eating since we arrived.” And Rowan pulled Aelin to his chest and kissed her temple “I love my bottomless pit.”

“Ow, you two are so cute it’s disgusting.” Joked Lysandra wrapping her arm around Aedion’s midriff.

“Come on let’s go to dinner before Aelin turns hangry.” Elide took Lorcan’s hand and dragged him away and the rest followed. 

Once at the restaurants they got a table for six and sat down. Aelin grabbed the menu and started perusing “this place seems amazing.”

“I think we need a nice bottle of wine to celebrate that you two boys are finally back.” Suggested Elide who, all of a sudden, was confident and seemed to have lost all of her shyness.

The waiter came and took their order and as usual Aelin shocked the poor youngster with her gigantic order.

“Captain, are you sure you can afford feeding her?” Joked Aedion.

Rowan shrugged and smiled at Aelin “the bank doesn’t offer mortgages for feeding your girlfriend, apparently.”

The rest of the group laughed.

Then the wine arrived and they toasted and Aelin looked around at the table and smiled at the scene. Of being with her friends and Rowan. She placed her hand on his and gave him a big smile. She kept repeating to herself that he was back and he was real.

Lorcan took a sip of his wine “this feels nice,” and a weak smile painted his lips “after six months of bad food and no treats, this feels like bliss.”

“I didn’t pin you for a wine lover, commodore.” Said Aelin sipping her wine and agreeing with the man. It was a nice one he had got.

The man shrugged “we are posh boys, of course we like wine.” He gave her a half smile.

Aedion snorted “that’s all you can handle.”

“Ok,” almost shouted Lysandra “this is a dinner to have some fun together, not a pissing contest to see who is better between the army and the airforce. Now you three behave.” She pointed her finger at them and Aelin hid her smile behind her hand.

“So,” started Rowan trying to change the topic “any new plans for the wedding?”

Aedion nodded “we have a temporary date in January. We just need to find a venue and few other bits and bobs. And hope for no interruptions this time.”

“At least this time my girls will have their real partner at their side.” She looked at the two men “I am waiting for you two to melt when you see in their dress.

“Oh, believe me they did the first time around too.”

Rowan nodded remembering Aelin in her dress. Yeah the shower had been quite longer than his usual “Both Lorcan and I remember the dresses.” Admitted Rowan trying to sound as casual as possible.

Lorcan looked away almost embarrassed by the admission but Elide gently pinched his side “admit it, you loved it.”

“I did.” He said quietly.

“So captain,” began Lysandra while sipping more wine “are you going to teach our Aelin to cook?”

Rowan chuckled “I can try but I have a feeling it’s a suicide mission. As a soldier I can see when it’s time to push back and retreat.” He brushed his hand on her head softly “but it’s fine I love cooking.”

Aelin was about to reply but their food arrived and her focus disappeared on the plates placed in front of her.

“Sometimes I think she would find me more interesting if I dressed up as a giant hamburger.” She stuck out het tongue out at him and he flicked her nose. After six months away from her he was desperate for some contact. He would have loved to go home and partake in more interesting activities, but the idea of having dinner with the other two couples had been quite pleasant. And Aelin did not seem displeased by his extreme need for PDA.

“So, Lorcan, are you coming to the station one day to see Elide in action?” Suggested Aelin with a grin and Elide almost glared at her nervously.

The man lowered his fork and looked at her “I think I might.” Replied the man eagerly “I must admit, I am quite fascinated.”

“We can also give you a proper tour of the firehouse. The official one.”

“I think we can take them on the trucks, one each” suggested Aedion “I am happy to take the commodore. But you guys need to stay inside the truck.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Hey, I have seen you fly, it’s only fair.”

“You seen him fly?” Elide’s face turned to Lorcan “Can I see you fly?”

“I am sure the commodore and I can give you a lovely display of how I kick his arse.” And Rowan grinned wickedly at his boss.

“Please, please.” Singsonged Elide, taking his hand.

Lorcan nodded “let me know of a day off and we can get it organised.”

“Yes!” Shouted Elide all excited.

“Actually…”  continued Lorcan “we sometimes give tour of some ares of the base. I might be able to get permission to invite the whole station for a tour and with the excuse of a drill we can give you a show.” He explained “I think we owe it to the TFD for the help they gave us.”

Rowan stared at Lorcan in disbelief. He knew everyone joked but Elide really was doing the miracle on him. He had never seen his CO so relaxed and willing to offer a tour of the base. Usually he would  shove that kind of stuff to him. Rowan gave a big smile to Elide and a silent thank you. Lorcan actually seemed happy.

“I am sure the guys would love it.” Then Aelin turned to Aedion “are you willing to come for one day at posh house?”

“I guess I can do that.” And he smiled.

Lorcan nodded “Rowan, liaise with the captain and choose a suitable day.”

Rowan squeezed her hand under the table.

“Ok good, Rowan is coming to the station tomorrow morning. You can join us around nine.”

“Am I?” But Aelin looked at him puzzled.

“Yes, unless you have other plans.”

“Uhhm I was planning on going kitchen household shopping but I assume I can do grampa stuff another day.”

Aelin patted his head “good, grampa. Come and have some fun.”

Lorcan nodded “9 am sounds perfect. I must admit I am looking forward to this.”

“And coming from Lorcan this is the best compliment ever.” Joked Rowan.

“This is going to be much more fun than you guys running drills with us.” Explained Aedion who for once did not seem to have any problems with the airforce. 

The group finished their meal and Aelin was the only one who actually went for dessert and everyone took the mickey out of her.

“Of course she gets the cake.” Elide rolled her eyes “how is it that you are not the size of a zeppelin I do not know.”

“Uh, I love you too.” Added Aelin while munching her cake away.

After the meal the group said their goodbyes Aelin and Rowan walked home, taking a detour through the park, hand in hand.

“I had a lovely evening.” Said Rowan pulling their twinned hand to his mouth and depositing a gentle kiss.

“I can’t believe Lorcan. He is so different.”

“I will be forever grateful to Elide. He is like another man.” He explained “I have known Lorcan for a very long time and I have never seen him so happy.”

Aelin almost skipped happily “are you looking forward to tomorrow?”

“Very much. I really want to see you in action.” He gently pinched her butt and Aelin squealed “you and your sexy jacket.”

“It’s called turnout or bunker gear.” She said to him leaning forward for a kiss “not as hot as your jumpsuit…” She swayed her hips in front of him.

He took a couple of steps and folded his arms around her waist and turned her around “you look hot even covered in grime.”

Aelin chuckled “you never saw me coming out of a house collapse after slithering through the debris and come out with my clothes white, my hair grey ad my face verging on black.”

His hand caressed her sides “Imagine the long shower…” his lips brushing hers gently.

“We are in a park, captain.” Her arms sneaked around his neck.

“I am just reminiscing our first kiss.” And slowly pinned her to a tree.

Aelin leaned forward and kissed him first “I’d throw my shoes at you but they are trainers and would hurt. It’s a shame I don’t have my flats on.”

“My menace…” he whispered, their mouths sharing a breath. “I should take you home. You have work tomorrow.” And pulled back from her, grabbing then her hand and resuming walking.

“You fuss too much.”

Rowan rolled his eyes and smiled “let’s just say it’s in the job description for boyfriend.”

“What else does it entail?”

He took a long pause staring toward the pond “make you happy, mostly.”

Aelin stopped him and turned him to her “you do. Make me happy, I mean.” Rowan stooped and kissed her hard “home, now. It’s getting near your bed time.”

“Sexy bed time?”

“No, young lady, we are going home and tuck you in bed and no shenanigans allowed.”

“You are no fun,” she complained walking away from him pretending to be mad.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her back “You came off shift this morning and I got home this morning. We both need rest.”

Her smile turned wicked “I might go and find myself a younger model. I wonder if Fenrys is interested in a sexy firefighter.”

A second later Aelin found herself pinned again against a tree and his lips on hers, the kiss demanding and almost possessive.

When Rowan pulled back they were both breathless, his forehead leaned on hers “don’t even joke about it.”

“Jealous much?”

“You are my girl.” He whispered against her lips and the tone he used made her heart melt.

“Said that again.”

“You,” his lips travelled along her neck “are,” a gentle nip of his teeth “my girl.” And a searing kiss.

How was it possible that the man in front of her could stir such deep passion and desire in her? Something so strong she had never felt before with anyone. It felt like an all consuming fire. She just hoped it would stay like that forever. She felt his hand sneak under her hoodie and touch skin and groaned into the kiss “let’s go home, captain. We are in a park and both about to lose it.”

He nodded silently and started walking home as quick as they could.

As soon as they were through the door to the house, Rowan lifted her in his arms, kicked the door shut with his foot and walked to the bedroom.

“I thought you said no shenanigans.”

“Fuck it.” He let her slid down and a second later his hand had started peeling off her clothes and she did the same.

“Show me what you got.” A second later she was airborne in his arm and then in bed. His strong body hovering over her. His pine green eyes trained on her and she could see the desire in them.

When he kissed her again her toes curled and heat began pooling at her core.

“I love you,” she whispered against his lips. It was all he needed and a moment later his name was on her lips begging him for more over and over again.

TAGS:

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@aelin-bitch-queen @bruiseonthefaceofhumanity @acreativelydifferentlove

@mis-lil-red @thegreyj​ 

[liesoverthec]

the post hasn't surfaced yet so please use this ask to talk abt the objectification of the 911 men!!

Ahh May you’re too nice but also thank you, I’m gonna 😂💛

This got. CRAZY long bc I just had a million thoughts so I’m gonna stick it under a cut.

To be honest, I think the reason they do *any* sort of objectification at all is that middle aged and older viewers are used to being able to objectify actors to a certain extent. Lord knows it happens on literally every other single piece of media, and this is a mainstream broadcast show, not an indie series or the likes, so I think they have to cater to those people as well as us, and the WAY they do it is so interesting to me bc even when they’re doing it, they use it as a way to drive home other, deeper messages.

For starters, I feel like the show OG was trying to be in the pilot and the first few episodes would have objectified the men WAY more than we see now if there hadn’t been that shift in tone - the sex addict plot could have been SO much more extended and given us a lot more opportunities to see Buck shirtless and to objectify him and his body. So I find it SO interesting that around the same time as Bobby opening up about his family and his past, we also stop w/ Buck being blatantly shirtless all the time. Narratively, it signals to me the point where the writers moved away from the the typical tv show that will treat their actors like meat, and moved more into a “female gaze” show. And then what’s really interesting to me, is that for Buck, after that, when he has sex w Taylor Kelly in s2, both times we NEVER see him undressed. The second time they don’t get very far, but he’s wearing a buttonable shirt. He absolutely could have been wearing that shirt closed, and she could have opened it, and he could have been wearing nothing underneath it, and we would have seen his chest again in a sexy scenario - but they didn’t. In fact they made the DELIBERATE choice to give him an undershirt. And of course with the first time they cut away and just left us w the understanding that sex was happening, yet again taking away an opportunity to show O.S. at least partially undressed. Which is SO different from how s1 goes about it, where we actually see Buck w his shirt open and his underwear exposed MULTIPLE times. So it’s so incredibly interesting to me that while none of the (main/regular) women’s stories are ever about sex like Buck’s is, I also think it’s REALLY interesting that the objectification of the men was, and could have been, much worse and that they didn’t have to move away from that, but they did.

But then secondly! The very last time we get into a plot that revolves around the men’s bodies specifically is in 2x01, which is SUCH an interesting plot. Surface level - it’s just about the men competing about who’s more attractive, and we get lots of muscle flexing and hot manliness to go along with it. And it is, at a surface level, incredibly shallow. But simultaneously they use it to 1. Introduce the idea that Buck wasn’t a sex addict bc he was “dealing w the stress of the job” like s1 mostly implied. It was bc he’s desperate to feel useful and wanted by someone, and at that point he really wanted that acceptance within the firehouse, rather than from other people. (Bc lbr, Abby didn’t do shit for Buck. It was Bobby, opening up and accepting the family, and specifically Buck, that gave him the connection he’d been seeking through sex.) And then 2. They also use it as an opportunity to SPECIFICALLY, IN CANON, say that it’s what you do that makes you attractive, and that makes you a hero, not how you look. Which is just!!! A crazy message!!! Especially considering they follow through on it, particularly in the areas where the women are concerned!

And in regards to 2x01, it’s soooooo fucking interesting to me that the ONLY time we really truly see Eddie shirtless, he’s actually putting clothes ON. They literally do the opposite trope of 'giving the hot male an excuse to take his shirt off'. And sure, they make it a sexy moment, but there's absolutely interesting commentary there about him actively covering himself up at the moment he is most sexualized, and it being taken as a sexy thing. Something about how you don't have to be naked to be attractive, it's about your intent in your actions, rather than your physical body. (Probably me reading too far into it, but again, they COULD have had him striping off his regular shirt, a good few seconds of him shirtless digging through a bag, and THEN the sexy slow mo pulling shirt on. At the very least, when they objectify him there, they make it MUCH shorter than they could have, which is SO DAMN INTERESTING to me).

But then finally, we still do have shirtless scenes! But the fact that it’s Chim who’s shirtless is just SO FASCINATING. Bc THE WAY THEY DO IT - they're never dunking Chim in a lake, or having something spilled on him, like other shows would do, to get his shirt clinging to him and him to whip it off in a spray of water or whatever. It's in scenes where it makes sense for him to be shirtless, and its NEVER treated like a big deal. It's just Chim, in his body, comfortably living his life. So I think the way they do it gives him more respect than other shows give their male characters, let alone their female characters 💀

And it's SO interesting to me that they use Chim (I mean, besides the fact that K.C. clearly has muscles for days and wow of course you'd use Chim). But I just think - on any other show, it would absolutely be Buck who we see casually shirtless. And that WAS almost this show, which is why we saw him shirtless at all. But failing that, it should have been Eddie. And then of course, after Eddie, it should be Bobby. I mean, plenty of other shows go for the 'sexy middle-aged white man' (cough cough LS) so Bobby would be the next logical step in the "who are we gonna make our hot man?" ladder, also - P.K. has BICEPS THAT COULD CRUSH ME so I would not blame them for making him the hot one.

But - like I said in my tags on my original post - I'm always thinking about Chim's story in 2x01 with the calendar, and feeling like he never gets to be the hero (WHICH I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW BEING THE HERO IS EQUATED THERE TO BEING THE HOT ONE, SO LIKE, CHIM BEING SHIRTLESS, SUBTLE REINFORCEMENT OF HIM BEING A HERO!) I love that for him, being the truly hot one on the team. And then you throw in his story from 2x04, and feeling like his life wasn't going anywhere and seeing him now, comfortable in his body and his life and being happy??

I wish no one had to be objectified and shirtless but I know this is broadcast tv, and honestly, the choice for it to be Chim, with his story and his background, in itself is I think a choice that makes me happy.

Of course, the show is nowhere near perfect, and I’d argue that it’s one of the areas they fall shortest in. Buck sleeping w his therapist would never have happened for a woman on this show, and it CERTAINLY wouldn’t have been brushed off again as a joke like it was in s3. And it really bothered me in 4x07 when the lady slapped Eddie’s ass, esp since he was clearly uncomfortable with it. I’d actually really enjoy seeing them write a plot for one of the men that addresses them feeling oversexualized as firefighters, and how people seem to think they have permission since the men are all public employees, bc I think the show could do it really well, and I think it’s an area that hasn’t been addressed on other shows recently (plus lbr I know I’m biased but I think OG would do it better if it has been done…)

So idk. I don’t know if I have a solid conclusion here. The show does SUCH a good job with the women, and a solidly less good job with the men - but I also see some really interesting choices at work that I really respect.

Thanks for the opportunity May, sorry if there was no coherent thread to this. 😂🤷‍♀️

[blueprint-han]

midnight walk — bang chan.

— “I have to go back to the dorms, and so do you.” 

— “in which you and chan walk through a park during midnight to catch up on some much needed alone time, and you’re prominently reminded of how much you love him, and he does too.”

pairing: chan x (gn) reader 

word count: 3 k

genre: fluff, boyfriend au, idolverse au (though not very prominent throughout the fic)

⇥ warnings: none, very self indulgent making out but nothing sexual, just kissing. minimal dialogue, kissing in public even though there’s no people around, also this situation is just for fictional purposes okay, I am not encouraging any acts of pda that takes place here between idols or anyone (quite frankly i have no idea about it’s legality, but as I said, it’s fictional), it’s just for entertainment purposes. Please take it as such. Also this park is huge and Chan and Y/N walk pretty slowly, and they’re from different companies.

type: drabble.

⇥ disclaimer: This fic does not intend to represent the actions of the real Bang Chan in any way, shape of form, nor does it intend to represent JYPE. Events are pure fiction, please take them as such.

note — Something soft because I wanted to write. This idea was brought up in a convo between me and ella and it was originally for han but then I wrote it for chan because i need my comfort kpop boy right now. Also @meiiyue. I hope this is not shit but i have no idea haha. Please, please leave feedback. Not edited, please excuse grammatical errors and typos. I;m sorry is this is trash, I really haven’t written seriously in a while ;-;

The air over here is way too moist.

So much so that you can feel beads of sweat litter the top of your brow the moment it’s been five minutes since you’ve arrived. You suppose you can’t complain when you and Chan made up the plan to meet immediately after a heavy downpour — you loved the smell of rain and he wanted to see you — it was a win-win situation.

But where is he? 

You wipe your forehead with the back of your sleeve, clutching your umbrella tightly in one hand while simultaneously going through your phone with the other. Your surroundings are calm, quiet, peaceful, exactly what you need to delve into your own thoughts and relax from the actual week you’d gone through. You can feel the tension in your shoulders, very very slowly, seep away as a blanket of mental peace is wrapped around your shoulders. As nice as it feels to be alone in this quiet place, all you want right now, is to hold your boyfriend’s hand and revel in nature.

You make a “tsk” noise, brushing the hair stuck to your face before scrolling through your contacts. You’re about to click on the one that says “channieeee <3″ when you feel hands — warm hands, grab at your shoulders from behind, and you shriek at the sudden shock that overcomes you. Owing to it being very quiet in this park, you slam a hand over your mouth, turning around to see the only person you were waiting for this whole time, albeit not this way.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You frown, though a small smile does pull at your lips when your eyes meet his warm brown ones.

“I was letting you know of my presence?”

“By sneaking behind me and giving me a heart attack?”

“I was going to give you a back-hug—” Chan points out,  waking around the bench to sit down next to you, not needing to ask at all. “—but then you screamed and I had to revoke it.”

A part of you wishes that had happened — as terrifying as that encounter was, Chan gives  great hugs. One of a kind. It’s almost like every time his hands wrap around your waist or shoulders, every inch of stress, thoughts melt away, leaving you in a calm state of bliss. That’s what Chan’s hugs are — pure bliss and honestly, your escape.

You give yourself a second to analyze his sharp features. Soft eyes, delicate smile, the pale, soft skin on his cheek so inviting. In this place where you and Chan are together, all you want to do is crawl into his arms, let go of the barrier that surrounds you and just be... yourself. You want to cup his cheeks and kiss him, just like you do whenever you meet up in secret.

But there’s more secrecy and hiding involved in an idol’s life.

“Yeah, yeah.” You say, fixing your mask properly over your nose before standing from your place. “You know better than to revoke my hugs, Christopher.”

Chan chuckles in endearment. You only call him Christopher when you’re unsure of your own statement, and it’s evident in the way your words end like you’re questioning him. Chan’s waiting for the “...right?” that should be following soon, but, oh well. He knows himself that denying you isn’t something his heart would allow, especially not when you look at him like that. 

Eyes gleaming under the dim lights of the park at midnight, a soft, almost unseen smile that only he’s allowed to see adorning your lips, and soft, unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. You didn’t even have to tell him you missed him, or that you wished to be in his arms again, because the connection between the both of you was on a whole other level — he could read all your emotions, just from looking into your eyes.

“Can’t deny that, can I?” He says, getting up from his seat before smoothing his shirt, while you put your phone into your pouch and fix your coat. Then, his hands silently seek your own, lacing his fingers with your own as warmth spreads through your chest. His hand feels soft, even more so than the last time you met him. In a silent want to hold him close to you, you tighten your grip as you smile at him and he reflects it back.

You walk around the path slowly, each step lingering against the mossy ground for a good second before moving on to the other. It’s so, so calming. The cold, moist winds refreshingly cool against your skin now that you’re not sitting idle in one place, the darkness in the park oddly calming. There’s the slight chirping of insects that resounds through the space like gentle music, and eventually, you feel yourself relax as you take in your surroundings.

“So, how was your week?” You ask, feeling yourself blush when you silently lean your head against your shoulder whilst walking, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he snakes an arm around your waist, sending shivers up your spine when he gently smooths the fabric of your coat with his thumb.

“Stressful, honestly.” The both of you turn around the corner without second thought. You’ve done this so many times, it’s like your bodies are being pulled to the place you wish so hard to be in right now. You missed him. You missed him so, so much. You can see the stress lines on his forehead and the darkness around his eyes, almost sure that he isn’t getting enough sleep either. After a long pause where you take in his words, he murmurs silently. “Missed you during the shoot.”

“Awh darling,” You coo, pressing a soft kiss onto his shoulder, and even though he doesn’t feel it through his own coat, Chan can feel himself smile affectionately. Every tiny gesture you provide is just so... attracting. Comforting. Be it lacing your fingers through his hair and stroking gently to lull him into sleep or just a hand against his thigh, a soft whisper of an “I’m here” when his stress gets the best of him and he’s clinging desperately onto your shirt, fluttering of your lips all over his face the occasional time you wake up together, or just this — walking through a park at midnight because it’s hard to meet up when you’re both popular idols, hand in hand with almost no words spoken. Everything about you is just so... beautiful. “Did you eat and drink well this week?”

“I did. You wouldn’t stop texting me every day, remember?” Chan laughs, the kind that makes your heart flutter and do backflips.

“It’s very necessary. We both know you're total ass at taking breaks.”

“Hey!” Chan pouts, almost offended at your statement. “I’m trying, okay?” He then smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, inhaling the fruity scent of your shampoo. “Besides, I have an amazing girlfriend to remind me, am I right?”

“Yeah yeah.” You brush him off, feeling the light grow darker in a particular section of the path, and that’s when you know you’ve reached the place you’ve been walking towards. There’s a bench placed in this place too — it’s the perfect spot for hidden conversations and maybe, kisses, because the chicken wire is completely hidden by trees, making this spot invisible from the outside.

“There it is.” You point out and Chan follows in pursuit, dusting the seat off for you slightly. Once you’ve sat down, you feel your cheeks burn, because the events that take place once the both of you find this spot has been engrained in your mind at this point. They’re the kind that get you flustered every time you see Chan in the JYP building the next day.

The chirping of insects is so much more intense here, yet you don’t even hear it when Chan puts an arm on your shoulder, gently sweeping his thumb against the material of your overcoat, a soft smile taking over his lips as your eyes lock. 

A gush of wind then sweeps past you, the chill in the air higher over here than near the entrance. You lean into Chan and he gets the idea immediately, pulling his coat over the both of you as you snuggle into his shoulder. He’s warm, so warm, so cozy, all you want to do is melt into his embrace and stay. Stay locked in this position you’ve grown accustomed to and found yourself in many times, with the gentle murmur of wind and chirping resounding all around you, almost like you’re trapped in utopia. You want to stay right here, but unfortunately, time runs fast.

“It’s cold.” He comments, and you let the words settle into the air.

“You’re warm.”

At that, Chan feels his smile widen genuinely, his grip on your shoulders tightening just the slightest before he trails up to tangle his fingers with your hair. You feel yourself tense before melting further, lifting your head up to look into his eyes, and my gosh, you can see the whole galaxy in them. His eyes are more sparkly, more lustrous than the clear night sky that lies above him, though the combined visual is truly enough to take your breath away.

“Always for you.”

One second, you feel his hand gently hold your chin and tip your head up, and the next, he leans to press his lips to your own. A mixture of warmth, fuzziness and nervousness bubbles inside you, mostly because you’re suddenly aware of the fact that you’re in the park — pitch black with dim lighting, yes, but still a public space.

Well, blame it on you for telling your partner you wanted thrill in your life when you were on your first date. It wasn’t a regular occurrence when you and Chan had the idea of meeting up at the park every Saturday midnight, kissing each other at midnight in a park where the trees were barely covering the partitions. Quite frankly, you have no idea when this whole thing started, all you know is that it became quite a frequent occurrence to go home with your cheeks feeling warm and your thumbs fidding with the collar of your shirt.

Your hands stay frozen on your lap and your brain fills with white noise. His lips feel so, so soft against your own as you basically melt against him. You can feel your knees go weak even though you’re sitting down, and Chan’s hands immediately grip your arms as though to cage you from your surroundings. Being in his arms seems like a whole other world to you. They surround you like that warm whiff of air when you get back home after a cold day at work, lock you against his body and protect you against any negativity that may threaten to look your way. Being in his arms, you feel like you’re in a cage you never want to get out from. A cage in which you are complete, you are content, you are loved.

And so, you gently press your palm to his cheek, running his thumb against the high end of his cheekbone, humming when you feel the soft skin underneath. His lips linger against your own for two seconds before he pulls away, feeling your delicate touch against his cheek. Then, he slowly turns to brush his lips against your palm, leaving a soft kiss there, and my god, you feel like your heart is gonna beat out of your chest. It’s too much for you to handle, his gestures are too sweet, to loving for you to not turn into a flustered mess.

He leans in once again, and this time, you cup his cheeks, pulling him closer until your lips meet and move in a synchrony of pure bliss. The hum he lets out is your favorite kind of music, it always build up the want for you to hear more. It’s just a pure expression of love that the both of you share, erasing every memory of anything else except each other. You love him, he loves you. That is all, and that is enough.

You never really knew that the man who wore his heart on his sleeve would end up meaning so much to you, but now that he’s yours, you never want to let him go.

It seems very practiced, owing to the countless times you’ve done this before, yet making your heart flutter all the same when the words “I love you” leave his lips in a hushed whisper. Only you’re allowed to hear those words, that tone, that beaming smile that pulls at his lips when his eyes meet your own even in this darkness. Even in this darkness, he thinks you look absolutely stunning, and all he wants to do is tell you how much he loves you over and over again. Well, that’s love. And love is an amazing thing to experience, you can say for sure.

You let yourself smile into the kiss before leaving a quick peck and pulling away, feeling him do the same before opening his eyes and gazing at your features. You shyly look to the side, noticing the leaves that sway gently where the gentle wind hits them. 

Even though the atmosphere is cold, you feel fuzzy and warm when Chan giggles, sparing a quick look to his watch before intertwining your fingers with his.

“Come on, we have some time before leaving, we can play on the swings.”

Oh, he knows the child in you too well.

When you’re done swinging the swings and collecting some flowers that seem fresh, you circle the route of of the park and back to the entrance, it’s already one in the morning. Most — especially your group members — would argue that the both of you should’ve been sleeping by now, owing to your hectic schedule that leaves you weary by the end of the day. But you tell them sometimes, just to get that one hour to spend with your lover, you’re willing to make the sacrifice — and seeing the loving, misty glint in your eyes, they understand.

“So, I guess... I’ll see you tomorrow?” Chan says, and you kick the air gently before pulling your mask over your face. Seeing you, he does the same.

“Yeah, you’ll be in your studio, right? I can drop by.” 

“Yeah. So, um...” You and Chan can never seem to ever part ways once your quality time with each other comes to a halt, the both of you want to reach out and embrace, and never leave. You often wonder what lead to your silent life being plagued with the essence of love, but then you see Chan, and you smile when you realise the answer.

And so, as if trying to hold onto the moment, freeze time a bit, you turn to him and pull him into a hug. He immediately responds and wraps his arms around your shoulders, resting his head on your neck as you sway from side to side. The road is quiet with the occasional vehicle speeding past, but you pay no attention to it. All you feel is Chan’s welcoming arms, his familiar smell that clouds your senses and makes you feel relaxed than ever.

“I love you, so much.” You murmur, not even sure if he’s able to hear it, but he does. He always does.

“I love you too.”

At that, you try to pull away to look into his eyes one last time, but Chan doesn’t let you, pulling his arms tighter across you and holding you close.

You laugh. “Chan.”

“Yes?” He drags the word and smirks mischievously.

“I have to go back to the dorms, and so do you.” You remind. “It’s late.”

“Mmh, alright.” He says, straightening himself from the embrace but not quite letting go yet. “But give me one more kiss before you go.”

You raise an eyebrow before looking around. While the interior of the park does have trees and stuff to cover the walls, the entrance doesn’t, and that sparks some nervousness within you, though you aren’t exactly worried. You’ve gotten away with stuff like this before, when either of you gets clingy and wants that one last lingering moment before you go your separate ways.

You lean in slowly and he just stands there, waiting for you to kiss him with that smile that he just can’t contain when he looks at you. When you pull both your masks down and your lips meet, it’s only for one tiny peck. You then quickly pull away and pull your mask over your face again, and Chan, though giggling furiously at the way he can see you’ve gone a little warm at the action, does the same.

You then bid goodbye and walk your way back home, the warmth that lingers all over skin so, so soothing to your mind. It’s like someone took away all your worries, leaving you in a bubble of contentment. It’s almost surprising how in the grand scheme of things, one person could stumble into your way and completely take your breath away, all because of the word we call love. You’ve realised how love means so much to you after Chan entered your life, and you don’t seem to be changing that idea any time soon.

When you’re almost close to home, your phone dings with a message, with the sender id “channieeee <3″. Instantly, you click on the message.

channieeee <3: so channieeee <3: same time tomorrow?  channieeee <3: pls 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 pls pls pls pls-

A dizzy, pure smile captures your expression, and so, not wanting to delay your plans to meet your lover again, you reply.

y/n: same time tomorrow, then 🥺💞 love you <3

*:･ﾟ✧ find the other fics here !

[thesoftduckling]

That pain makes me think of you

Summary:Zuko hurts himself to remember Katara

-

As a fire countryman, being burned by flames is a joke. ‎

‎But alas, since they are overwhelmed by power, status, and having a better life than others, that will be the only thing they remember. ‎

‎Zuko untied the bandage that was wrapped around his back, first opening the small knot, and then slowly undoing the bandage he had left behind him from the place where he had begun to bleed to stop the bleeding. The slow heat seemed to burn through his entire left rear shoulder and the pain almost made his crossed legs spasm. Pressing down on the uncomfortable twitching of his calf, Zuko untied a white bandage with his teeth. ‎

‎"Uh-huh..." He groaned, letting the scalding, still healing scars fill his entire nerves. ‎

‎It wasn't an accident, the one on his back was probably the size of a kettle. When it really happened, he didn't really have anything to say. He knows. ‎

‎In order to catch up with the avatar squad, he desperately followed in their footsteps outside his own pace. ‎

‎Even though he knows how much he has done to hurt the other person, he still has no hesitation in trying to catch up and say some lame arguments to make himself more convinced. No, not simply to yourself. Also to her. ‎

‎What was he going to do to make the dark-skinned Water Sect girl forget her hatred for him? ‎

‎Maybe that wouldn't happen for a lifetime. ‎

‎Given what he had done in the Earth Kingdom, it was just as she was about to use the vital Arctic water on the scar on the left side of his face. He said, "It's a scar, and the scar won't heal. And she said, "‎‎Maybe I can use this Arctic water?" ‎

‎He couldn't forget the tone in which she said it. When only he and she were locked up in the Crystal Cave, she showed him rare kindness. ‎

‎Zuko clenched his teeth and closed his eyes to sprinkle the white medicine on the back of the burn. ‎

‎The "hissing —" represents the chemical action of the smoke after him, and the pain of the drill heart makes his forehead sweat. ‎

‎Large patches of torn scar tissue spread over his left shoulder, just as he could move the humerus of his left arm. Bending the sphere of his left arm, Zuko forced himself to bite into a rag used to wipe away sweat. ‎

‎A small part of the scab was slowly cut off by his fingers, and the brown-red or black tissue that originally represented blood fell to the ground and became the smoke of yesterday that could disappear as soon as the wind blew. Honestly, he didn't feel pain, he just thought it would be a little longer. ‎

‎The fingernails of his right hand were covered with the black-red color of his old blood, and he looked blankly at his calloused palm. ‎

‎According to the prescription given by the kind old man he met on the road, his burns can get better as long as they are well nursed for a while. But by the beginning of the third month, the traces of iron tongs had not diminished. ‎

‎He threw his shirt aside, and the left sleeve that was pulled open looked empty because his hand was not inside. As a citizen of the Fiery Nation, he should know exactly how to treat the most common burns. ‎

‎But no, he preferred to recall that day in his own way, in a clear and slightly sour feeling. ‎

‎Again and again, he found them and tried to apologize. ‎

‎But he was not good at words by nature, and a distorted remark made the person he wanted to see more and more angry. Since he broke into the dispute between the avatar Squad and a local black merchant, he was easily targeted. ‎

‎The iron soldering iron taken out of the stove left a scar on his back without hesitation, and the person who rushed over obviously did not expect that he would stand so stupidly and be backstabbed. After dropping the iron rod in horror, he screamed and ran away. Leaving him to cover his left shoulder and continue to confront them. ‎

‎No, actually with her. ‎

‎The blue eyes he had seen many times contracted fiercely at first, and she slightly retracted her confrontation posture in front of him, but she still did not let go of her burden on him. ‎

‎"What do you want?" She asked. ‎

‎And he stood there, scratched by the burning discomfort of his back. ‎

‎Struggling to speak, Zuko heard his voice say, "Katara..."‎

‎ and then there was no follow-up. ‎

‎She hated him. He knows. ‎

‎Silently preparing a brand new white bandage for himself, Zuko was determined to do it again. ‎

‎He looked at the carpet under him, and hung a faded carpet in the corner of someone else's house that was white and could not see the pattern. He sat there cross-legged, staring into the palm of his hand in a daze. ‎

‎"Katara. ‎"

‎He remembered the first time he had seen her in Antarctica, along with her brother and the avatar he had been hunting. ‎

‎"Katara. "He took her necklace from the pirates. ‎

‎Katara. ‎

‎The name of the girl he had betrayed in Ba Sing Se, just a second before she had offered to heal the shameful scars on his face with the precious oasis water. ‎

‎He always regretted it too late. ‎

‎Not knowing what he wanted, he was led by Azura by the nose. ‎

‎But more importantly, wasn't it his subconscious that made him do it? ‎

‎If his sister was a little moved, he would lean over and follow the steps she wanted. Doesn't that mean he himself wants things to go that way? ‎

‎Zuko didn't know. ‎

‎He just held his head high, one hand reaching down, the other digging deep into the burned tissue behind his back with his sharp fingernails. ‎

‎Pain and nerve pleasure struck at the same time, and he had no idea which one he was going to react to first. Zuko closed his eyes and tugged at the bandage he had re-prepared in his cloudy breath. ‎

‎The pain made him remember her, even though she brought him more of a mental torment. ‎

‎And he gave them most of the physical torture. ‎‎He wished she could hate him a little less. ‎

‎Or maybe it doesn't matter if it's more. As long as she could see into his eyes again. ‎

‎Even though the distance between them never exceeded ten centimeters, he always gave up the ten centimeters and went back to find them. But that didn't work, if he had woken up earlier, if he had seen through Azura's manipulation of him earlier... ‎

‎But that doesn't make sense. ‎

‎Everything lost its meaning as she spread her hands and swept the clear breath-taking water towards him. ‎

‎"Katara. ‎"

‎He whispered, pressing his fingers deeper in a sigh of relief. ‎

‎Even if it would leave a new scar on his body, even if it would make the scar on his back getting better slower. ‎

‎Zuko thought it was good, because the pain reminded him of her. ‎

‎In the instant that his skin was burned that day, she looked into his eyes as if a bone-chilling water had been sent to him. ‎

‎That's nice. ‎

Because he wanted to think of her.‎

[magalidragon]

Hello! How about 14 in your recent "love in the eyes" universe? Have an amazing day!

Oooh a new universe! 🙌🏻 I tried to make this smutty but it turned out a bit sweet lol. I love these beans! 🥰 Moodboard to come!

14. “Later you will definitely need to tell me where you learned this.”

Love in a pandemic was interesting, to say the least. It was the whole "are you tested" but in a completely different way. Regardless, the answer was "yes" on both accounts, for the both of them, which was how Dany found herself spending the very limited amount of time she had off from twenty-hour shifts at a rural hospital dealing with massive outbreaks and super-spreader events in an area that already had limited healthcare to begin with, hanging out in her extended stay studio not resting up for the next shift, but eagerly awaiting a 'date' of takeout food on rotation of the only three local restaurants that had switched to takeout, and watching movies with one very attractive Westeros Military Captain, who also had limited amounts of time off.

They only had time off three times, where their schedules could align, and honestly she was so exhausted when she finished, she just wanted to sleep for hours. Jon was in the same boat, so-to-speak, until one afternoon her phone rang, after she had just discharged several elderly patients who had come off the tube, their tests negative, and excited to say that they had survived a pandemic, along with all the other chaos that went on Beyond the Wall.

So she was in a really good mood, answering excitedly. "Jon!"

"Do you have plans tonight?"

"Depends, what do you have in mind?" She caught sight of one of the Northern nurses, Kari, who rolled her eyes at her and smirked, knowing full well she was on the phone with 'The Handsome Crow', as the 'wildings' up North referred to Jon's regiment.

"I'm thinking of a place with no masks."

"Oooh, talk dirty to me," she teased.

He laughed. "I'll pick you up at your place. Leave hte dragon behind, aye?"

She mocked his accent back to him, gruff and rolling. "Aye, aye Captain!"

That had been hours ago. Shift ended, she rushed to the studio extended stay, showered, brushed her teeth, quickly shaved her legs, shimmied into the only matching pair of panties and bras she brought with her-- and the panties were also not her comfy cotton briefs she wore under her scrubs but the only truly 'sexy' pair-- a red bikini set-- even if the bra was also cotton and not lacy silk and satin. It would have to do, and honestly, she was probably reading too much into the sudden date that was different.

But no, she did not.

Because while dating in a pandemic was weird-- flirting without even seeing his face had been surreal-- it was still dating and some rules still continued to apply. Like the fact they'd been on three dates, had even fallen asleep on her bed together, but all he'd done was chastely kiss her goodnight when he woke up-- to her disappointment-- it was still three dates in, which meant naked time was now officially on the table.

And she had been itching to see his face that entire five hour flight to find out if the rest of it was as attractive as his soulful gray eyes, his messy curly hair, and the strong body she could see hiding not so much under his drab black fatigues. How right she had been and also how wrong. The moment he pulled off his mask, she felt every nerve ending light off like fireworks, his jaw chiseled, covered in dark scruff, and his lips full and pink, shyly smiling over a set of white teeth that were adorably crooked in the front. It all fit, every bit of him, and she hoped that she had been the same delightful surprise to him too.

Jon picked her up on time-- quite punctual, he was a military man after all-- drove her from the hotel on their first outing and even as she asked him where they were going ,he said it was a surprise and ended up taking her pretty far out to Hardhome, where he surprised her with a dinner at a dockside restaurant, just the two of them, a favor that his friend Tormund had called in for him.

It was wonderful to actually eat out for once, like a proper human being, and then he surprised her further by indicating that maybe if she were so inclined... "Would you...do you want to go back...I got a hotel room," he blurted out.

"You mean not the dingy studio with the brick mattress and scratchy sheets and comforter of unknown origins?" she demanded.

"Um...it's an inn...supposed to be nice."

She'd kissed him immediately, sighing. "Take me there Jon Snow, I beg of you."

They'd sped through the mostly deserted town to the inn, barely got within the door of what she quickly surmised was a quaint log-cabin decor style with flannel sheets and a roaring fireplace, and...yowza.

Their first kiss had been sweet, on their second "date", when he left her to return back to the makeshift barracks he had been staying in near the hospital. They had been nervous about it, shifting on feet as she didn't want him to go quite yet, but he had a curfew. "Need to set an example, I'm the boss," he sighed, clearly annoyed by it.

"Well alright then...talk to you tomorrow?" She asked him hopefully, and he nodded, and then smiled, shifting and moving in towards her, and she grinned, accepting his kiss gently. It had been tentative, both of them a little nervous, and sure-- they were both anticipating getting sick most likely, since they were in and around everyone with the virus-- except she figured she would risk it.

It had begun soft, lips gentle, rather close mouthed. Then it became something else, his hand cupping her head and she grabbed at his shirt, opening her mouth under his, moaning when his tongue prodded for entry and she gave willingly, tasting the beer they’d had and his mint toothpaste and the barest hint of synthetic nicotine. She needed him, groaning and grappling as he stroked his hands over her face. So hot, she thought, not realizing how that felt until he was holding her upright by just her jaw.

Wanting nothing more to invite him back in, she reluctantly had said goodbye, her lips tingling, and his smile dopey when they parted. She waved, watched him leave, and counted down the seconds like a silly schoolgirl with her first crush until she could see him again.

And when she did, they'd kissed some more, like those dumb schoolkids they'd become, barely paying attention to the movie that had been playing, or their dinners growing cold on the table, but it hadn't gone beyond that; they were both exhausted, and to be honest, she wanted to wash her hair and maybe look a litlt enicer than the old college t-shirt and pink flannel pants she had on.

So now, well, now....sigh.

"Later you will definitely need to tell me where you learned that," she panted, staring up at the ceiling, catching her breath, her body shivering from aftershocks. She pressed her palm to her forehead, not at all surprised to find that she wasn't just hot because of her dragonblood, but because she was freaking sweating, like she'd run a marathon.

Beside her, he was in the same pose, laughter rumbling from his chest. "Do you really want to know?"

Since that might mean bringing up the other women who had been on the opposite end of those sinful lips, she shook her head, laughing as well. "Oh fuck no, but gods Jon Snow, who knew you had that talented set of lips underneath your mask? If I'd have known, I'd have jumped you on the plane."

A sly smile pulled over his teeth, those same pouty, now kiss-stung lips flushed from his exertions. "If I recall you did sort of proposition me?"

A tiny blush formed on her cheekbones, not that he noticed, as flushed as she already was. She turned on her side, propping her head on her hand, her other dancing over his smooth chest, where he grabbed it and brought her knuckles to his lips to kiss, their fingers threading together. "Well, I had to test a theory. I am a woman of science."

"What theory?"

"That you were into me." She lowered her lips to brush over his, grinning. It was his eyes; Doreah always told her that love came in the eyes. His had fallen more than once from hers to...other areas. Plus there was the pupil dilation, the intensity there, and the bit of sadness on the edges. It made her desperate to know more. "And turns out, you were."

He smirked, brushing his mouth over hers again, murmuring, "Hard to tell, those pesky masks."

"We figured it out." She settled her head in the crook of his shoulder, his arm draping over hers, knuckles idly running on her upper arm. She closed her eyes, savoring. It had been awhile, she was tingling and sore. It felt wonderful. The good exhaustion that she knew would lead to a good sleep.

Not that she wanted to sleep just yet.

Her finger pulled out of his grasp, tracing his mouth, whispering. "When do you have to be back at the barracks, Jon Snow?"

"Hmm....weekend pass, would you believe it?"

"Coincidentally, I have a day off."

"Whatever shall we do?"

She giggled, nuzzling her nose to his, whispering. "I have a few ideas. Most of which involve that mouth."

He snapped his teeth, wolfish, and pressed his palm to her cheek, pushing to cup her head, her braids tangling around his fingers. She kissed him, smiling so wide their teeth clacked, and devolved her into more giggles, as silly as that schoolgirl he made her feel like she happened to be. It was the happiest she'd been in a long time, that was for sure. He snorted, laughing when she blew a raspberry to his mouth instead of kissing him, and devolved into his own laughter, which she got the impression was quite a rarity with him.

They tusseled a bit, both trying to one-up the other, laughing and giggling, and soon her legs and arms were flying up, brain losing all control over herself as he tickled her and blew raspberries to her belly and chest. "Jon!" she squealed, pushing weakly on his arms. He had her pinned to the bed, and was merciless.

"Never," he replied, in response to her demands for him to stop, and she didn't fight him, both of them kissing again, and this time it wasn't so funny, the kisses becoming deeper, intense. He broke away from her lips and trailed off, her neck arching on the pillow, sighing, and hands falling into his riotous curls again.

She hummed, approving, and shook her head slightly. "Jon?"

"Hmm?"

He tilted his head up to peer at her, eyes black as coal. She traced her finger along his hairline, smiling gently. They'd known each other two weeks, but she was quite certain of how she felt. She nibbled her bottom lip, whispering. "This probably...probably isn't the right time but..." She took a deep breath; just say it Dany. Worst comes to worst, he runs away, and then what? Means it wasn't meant to be. She never took this type of leap, gun shy from previously failed relationships. She closed her eyes, about to speak, when his thumb pressed on her chin, tilting her face to his.

Eyes flickering, she saw he had risen up to lay beside her, intensely focused, and was guiding her face to his, thumb stroking her jaw. "What?" he whispered.

Love comes in the eyes, she thought, and whispered, "I think I love you."

There, she said it. Maybe it was the hormones, the heightened emotions of the time, the idea that tomorrow could be her last, for all she knew. They were working so hard and that was usually all she had, but now there was something bigger.

And to her surprise, he smiled, eyes crinkling, and it was the same look he gave her on the plane, when she first wondered who this cute guy happened to be, and what was his story. He whispered, in return, "I think I love you too."

Dany giggled, accepting his kiss, entwining her arms around his neck, and made a mental note to tell her brothers that the North might not be so bad after all.

Smutty One Liners

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Here is the first one

Second :D

And last..he's looking at you 👀💦

ALRIGHT you know WHAT—

There’s…a lot going on here. So much so, that I have decided to create

CONTEXT

for these three images that is

COMPLETELY FAKE

because I think it’ll be a fun writing exercise. kind of a cringe move on my part, but consider: i have fun making up ridiculous lies about characters who don’t exist in real life.

(which is how I’m treating these, by the way. yes, they are pictures of kaneko nobuaki, but for my purposes, they are NOT actually him. they are distinct fictional characters who are not real.)

so if you’re feeling adventurous skip below the cut and watch me break it down:

Image 1: Accidental “Date” Makes Cousin’s Wedding Less Terrible Than Originally Expected

The year is 1999. Your cousin (who you are not particularly close to) is getting married…on a cruise ship. Your mother insists you attend. You insist upon spending 90% of your time sipping margaritas on the deck and flipping through the latest issue of Marie Claire while trying desperately not to think about the fact that you are surrounded by nothing but open ocean.

One of the (very drunk) bridesmaids tries to toss you a beach ball because you have been, and I quote: like, a total bummer this whole time. She misses. It hits the person next to you in the face. Great. Awesome. You think: well now who’s being, like, a total bummer?

Luckily the person who got hit in the face laughs the entire thing off. He says your friends seem…’lively.’ You say that’s pretty rich coming from a guy who looks like a rejected member of ‘The Clash.’ He insists that he left them, not the other way around.

You slip into conversation. You tell him that you’re here for a wedding. He offers his condolences. You accept them. He says he actually likes weddings—something about two people making a life-changing commitment speaks to him on a soul-level. That and the open bar, of course.

You suggest he crash the wedding. He says he’s not sure if he can make it—there’s a shuffleboard tournament that evening that he would just hate to miss, plus the latest issue of Soap Opera Digest is waiting on his bedside table just begging to be opened. You say that’s perfectly understandable, but, if he suddenly finds himself caught up on the latest All My Children gossip, he can meet you back here at four.

Surprise, surprise: he shows up. He’s wearing the same shirt he was before, but buttoned up this time—and with one of the most hideous neckties you’ve ever seen, which he apparently borrowed from the kind old man next door. Instead of complimenting his attire (because it is truly un-compliment-able), you take the opportunity to mention that this is a Titanic-themed wedding. He says that having a Titanic-themed wedding on a cruise ship is “kind of fucked up” and you solemnly agree.

Everyone is very surprised and pleased to see that you’ve brought a date—even the bride, who tells you that you’re “just like Jack and Rose.” You agree, much to her delight…until you say that, if the ship goes down, you also won’t share the door and let him freeze to death in the icy water. He insists he’d be the guy who jumps off the ship and hits his leg on the propellor—that’s his favorite part of the whole movie, and it’d be an honor to re-enact the scene.

The wedding is…a wedding. Vows, toasts, pictures—and you’re sipping champagne through the entire thing. The two of you spend the evening getting completely wasted and telling everyone a different story about just who your ‘mystery date’ is. Highlights include: the captain’s unruly son whose been tasked with following in his father’s sea-faring footsteps; professional cave-diver who discovered a new species of slug and is spending his reward money on a nice vacation; head of marketing who gives all those clever names to the nail polishes at OPI; the guy who folds everyone’s towels into animal shapes.

You end up where you started: on neighboring lounge chairs, with a margarita, and talking to this stranger who has recently crossed into “acquaintance” territory. You chat about how “My Heart Will Go On” is actually a good song, and he promises not to tell anyone that you said that. He also says that this is the best Titanic-themed cruise ship wedding he’s ever been to, and he can’t wait until somebody decides to do Jaws.

Eventually, you both stagger back to your rooms with promises of seeing each other at breakfast. Unfortunately, you have the worst hangover of your life the next morning and even the thought of ‘breakfast’ makes you want to roll over and die, so you don’t manage to stumble out of bed until it’s time to disembark.

You see him at port, and you each offer each other a little wave before going your separate ways. Six weeks later, you get a Polaroid of the two of you together, sitting at the bar and laughing at something that must have been very, very hilarious.

You don’t remember most of what happened that night, but you remember it was not as terrible as it could have been.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 2: Extremely Weird Guy On The Street Has You Questioning Your Sanity

It’s 6:00 in the morning—a truly terrible time to be awake, but a necessary evil. Your flight leaves at 10, and since it’s an international thing, you want to make sure you get there in plenty of time to get to your gate (and maybe sample all the fancy perfumes you can’t afford at one of those high-end stores that are always in airports.)

The streets are mostly empty, save for a few random pedestrians and a handful of passed-out salarymen snoozing on the curb. The sky a rainy gray-blue as the sun tries to rise behind the springtime cloud cover—it’s no doubt going to be another dismal day, as is common during this time of year. Hopefully there’s not too much turbulence on your flight…

You stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the little walking man signal to show up on the light across the way. You’re soon joined by another person—a man in a soft-looking jacket who supplies you with a small “good morning” bob of his head. You respond in kind, throwing in a small smile for good measure. It’s nice that he too understands that it’s entirely too early to be having any kind of conversation, even if it is just a simple verbal greeting between strangers on a street corner.

The light changes, and you both begin your trek across the street. Your fellow walker is faster than you—or, more likely, has longer legs and, ergo, a longer stride than your own—and is nearly halfway across by the time you get your wheeled suitcase over the curb. He seems decent enough. You hope he’s going somewhere nice.

It’s then that you make the mistake of looking up. It would have been much better if you had just continued watching the white painted lines on the road and thinking about how it reminds you of piano keys—and how you hated the six months of piano lessons your parents forced you to take in the first grade.

But no. You noticed someone walking towards you, and you just had to look up.

The first thing you notice is a rainbow tie-dye shirt. The second thing you notice is that the rainbow tie-dye shirt is on a very cheerful looking gentleman, who seemed to be bobbing his head in time with a song only he could hear.

The third thing you notice—and this one’s the real kicker—is the large blue-and-green reptile sitting on his shoulder. It’s bulging eyes are hooded in pleasure as it’s red-pink tongue darts out to eat the green something—maybe a grape or a small piece of melon?—from the rainbow tie-dye man’s hand. It is nothing short of a spectacle, honestly, and you feel a piece of your sanity evaporate.

The rainbow tie-dye man continues on, uncaring of your confused stare at his strange pet. You even turn around to make sure that you weren’t somehow hallucinating, and sure enough, there is definitely some kind of creature draped over this stranger’s shoulder. It’s tail even sways in time with the man’s steps, which is both cute and confusing.

Because it would not do to stand in the middle of the street all day, considering the existence of rainbow tie-dye man and his exotic pet, you do the only thing you can do: turn back around and continue on your journey. You need a coffee. Maybe with an extra shot of espresso, after witnessing whatever the hell that was. Something to set you right again.

“Was that…?”

The other man—the soft-coat long-stride one—is speaking low enough as to not draw attention, but loud enough for you to hear as you make your way towards the sidewalk. His expression reads ‘concerned, but trying not to show it’ which you suppose is the polite and mature way of handling the situation.

“…an iguana? Yeah,” you answer him, “I saw it too.”

The man’s brow furrows. His mouth puckers into a small frown as he considers…well, something.

“…Okay, then,” he concludes, shrugging his shoulders, “Hell of a way to start the day.”

“Yeah.”

And you both continue on your way. He turns left at the next intersection, you turn right—but even though your paths may now be different, you will forever share an unbreakable bond over the fantastical sight you’ve witnessed today.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Image 3: Near Death Experience At Open Mic Night

You are not a poet.

Well, not professionally, anyways. You’ve been known to dabble in the written word, often scribbling little snippets of rhyme in a notebook over your lunch break or tapping a verse or two into the notes app on your phone. It a kind of outlet, you suppose—a way to keep the creative energy that bubbles inside of you from boiling over.

It’s also worth mentioning that you are not a confident public speaker. Not since that unfortunate incident in the third grade where you forgot the single line you had in the school play and ran off stage, tears streaming down your face and—actually, no, you’re not going to think about that right now. Or ever again, hopefully.

So when your (tipsy) coworkers decide that it’s a good idea to push you onto the stage at the local dive bar’s open mic night—while shouting at you to “read the one about the night-blooming jasmine”—you freeze up. There are at least seven strangers staring at you, expectation rising with every passing second of your inaction. It’s nerve-wracking in the way that the third-grade incident was not, and you gulp against the nervousness that rises in your throat.

Shaking hands scroll frantically through your phone, looking for the requested poem—and after a few agonizing moments, you manage to find it. Your voice cracks rather embarrassingly as you begin to read, trying your damndest to get the words out right so you can slink back to the bar and drown the rest of the night in Chardonnay.

Everything is going well—or, at least, as well as can be expected—until you notice that the room is suddenly feeling very hot. That’s the last coherent thought you have before the room goes dark and everything falls silent.

Next thing you know, you’re staring at the ceiling. A man who you do not know is leaning over you, and his mouth is moving—oh, he’s probably trying to say something to you, but it’s very difficult to tell what he’s saying over the throbbing pain in the back of your head.

You ask him if you’re dead. It’s a possibility after all, that you’ve somehow died and landed yourself in some kind of special public-speaking hell. That’s what this feels like, anyways.

The man says no, you are not dead. You say ‘dammit’ in response. He tries to hold back laughter, offering to help you up by extending his hand. You take it and—ouch, ugh, ew, going from laying to standing is not a fun experience.

You thank him (albeit awkwardly) for helping you up, and he insists that ‘it’s cool.’ Passing out in front of an audience is not even remotely cool, but you nod and thank him again, anyways.

Before you’re able to converse with the helpful stranger any further, your coworkers have come to collect you. You are whisked away by someone from accounting, who offers to escort you home—an offer you gladly accept, very excited to leave the site of your failure behind you.

Safe to say, you never go back to that particular bar again.

[bopbopstyles]

Best friend y/n taking pictures of H in a field of sunflowers 🧐😇

i made this a theyre in love with each other but no one wants to talk about it/quarantine situation and it kind of spiraled quickly

Harry had signed on to do the cover of GQ long before quarantine started, the cover supposed to coincide with the beginning of the tour and a bit of press. Quite honestly, he was excited to be doing it--the excitement from doing a big magazine cover never quite faded no matter how many he did. 

But now that quarantine had happened, he couldn’t go into the studio to do the photos, the original photographer having an immunocompromised family member, so the team had asked if he had someone he was quarantining with who could do them. They’d send out some gear, give some directions, but he’d have more creative control. 

Which brought him to you. The two of you were best friends, and so the minute he crossed back onto British soil you had decided to quarantine together. You were tired of being in your cramped London flat all alone and Harry hated being in his big house in Hampstead all alone. So naturally, you ended up at his in the guest bedroom. (Most nights. Sometimes you had sleepovers, all tame of course.)

You had been a photography student in college, and since then you worked at a couple of local London papers and magazines freelance, sometimes covering concerts, other times doing portraits, building a portfolio for when you could get a full-time gig somewhere. You weren’t 100% sure what you wanted to focus on yet, so the breadth of experience was to your liking. 

Harry had always been your favorite model, ever since you met him when you had ended up covering his London show. You’d become friends, despite your expectations, and he ended up liking you enough to continually reach out, and other the few years you two had become best friends. 

So when he had to get someone to take photos, you were the natural choice. He was comfortable with you and you were insanely talented, something he told you all the time. 

The only problem was, he was also head over heels in love with you and every time you took photos of him his crush got deeper and more intense. After spending weeks with you constantly, he didn’t know if he could take the intensity of a photo shoot with you.

But he didn’t really have a choice. 

When Harry asked you, you beamed at him, excited to not only be able to add Harry Styles, GQ to your portfolio, but also to have the opportunity to shoot again. You had missed it during quarantine. 

Which was how you ended up in a field of sunflowers a little ways out of town, your camera slung around your neck, the one GQ had sent as back up looped across your back. It was dusk, your favorite time to shoot, and you had abandoned all hope of using and additional props to capture the light. It was impossible with just you, and frankly Harry was so gorgeous he didn’t need it. 

You’d helped him get dressed, and he was in a simple soft pink button up, unbuttoned low, his chest exposed, and a pair of linen trousers that were tight around his strong thighs stretching down the length of his legs. His necklaces, the cross and his signature pearls, adorned his neck, filling the space the shirt exposed, and his tattoos littered his arms, the sleeves pushed up to expose his forearms. His hair was tousled and soft, a bit of product you had worked into it before you left the house helping hold the curls. Rings littered his fingers, glinting in the setting sun. 

You were trying to work, directing him on how to pose and trying to find the right lighting, but he was staring at you. His gaze trained on your face, eyebrows scrunched as you messed with some settings on your camera. It was moments like these when he nearly burst out his feelings for you, the shreds of self-awareness falling away. 

“H, shift your right leg slightly more towards me.” He blinked, refocusing, and followed your direction. He was leaning back on his hands, one leg bent, the other straight, you straight in front of him. “Now don’t more, squirmy.”

He wouldn’t dare. Music was playing from your phone, which was tucked into your back pocket, and he tried to focus on the lyrics. But instead he ended up watching you again. Watching as you shifted, getting different angles, shutter clicking. Usually he felt nervous in front of a camera lens like this, but with you, he was at ease. He could just watch you and his anxiety settled. 

“Laugh for me?”

“Didn’t say anything funny.”

You rolled your eyes at him, and he just smirked. “Just pretend?”

He did his best fake laugh, and you gave him a terse glare. “H.”

“‘m tryin’! Hard to laugh when there’s nothing to laugh at.”

You huffed. “Try laughing at me then. How sweaty I am out in this field, laboring away to make you look good, while I look like a mess.”

“You don’t look like a mess,” he mumbled. 

“Liar.”

“You look beautiful,” he said, the words falling from his lips with ease. “Always do.”

It was moments like these when being in love with Harry was really fucking frustrating, because he’d say things like that and how could you not fall for him immediately? “Shut up,” you told him, trying to disguise the blush rising to your cheeks. “Now laugh for me, you idiot.”

Harry followed your directions, dropping the act. You shifted closer, coming to your knees so you were at even height with him. “Pretty close, love.”

“I’m trying to get some close-ups. Now shut it and let me do my job.”

You could tell he was getting bored and antsy--he always did. Only took him like fifteen minutes of sitting in one place before he would be itching to move, moaning about his bum going to asleep. His head fell to the side, and you sighed. It was hopeless when he was like this. 

“H, please, just a few more and then we’ll take a break.”

He nodded, picking his head back up to resume his former position. You moved a few inches closer, knees landing on either side of his, your body hovering over him. The camera was tilted down, getting an angle from able and he adjusted, eyes following the lens. 

He could smell your perfume mixed in with his laundry detergent, the hint of the cantaloupe you had both snacked on before you left on your breath. Sweet. He absentmindedly wondered, and not for the first time, what it would be like to kiss you, to run his tongue across your lip. What your gasps would sound like. 

Wrong idea. Fuck. Harry could feel his dick plumping at the thought of kissing you, the prospect making his blood race. He tried to think of anything else, tried to get it to go away, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want his fucking dick up in the photos, for Pete’s sake. 

“Y/N,” he mumbled, sitting up. You leaned back, your bum falling to his shins, which didn’t help one bit. “Can we stop for a sec?”

“Why? Just need a few more, H, please. Don’t want to miss this lighting.”

“I--fuck,” he fumbled with his words. 

“What is it?” Your voice was soft and gentle with an edge of frustration, a hand reaching up to brush a stray hair from his forehead. The sensation made his eye flutter shut, trying to keep his emotions in check. 

“i’vegotahardonandIdon’twantitinthephotos,” he rushed out, his words falling between you two, landing with impact. 

You blinked at him. “Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Um...what happened?”

Good lord, you were going to make him die of embarrassment. You two usually danced around conversations like these, both uncomfortable talking about the topic for the same reason but not knowing. The idea of talking about sex with the person you were in love with wasn’t exactly at the top of your list. Did he tell you?

You were watching him, a. blush on your cheeks. You looked so fucking gorgeous, sitting there with the sunset behind you, your hair blowing softly in the wind, your camera in one hand. 

“....you.” He didn’t mean to say it. But then he did. 

And he couldn’t take it back. 

Your mouth opened, then closed. “Oh,” you said for the second time, the word hushed. 

“YN, I’m sorry, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, fuck I’m so sorry--”

“H, it’s fine.”

This time, he was the one blinking at you, eyes wide. “What?”

Your head bent, eyes falling to his dick. He could tell thoughts were swirling in your head, your hand reaching up to brush a hair behind your ear, teeth gnawing on your bottom lip like you did when you were thinking hard. “I--I could help you.”

“What?” He sputtered, brain unable to process the concept. 

But you just shrugged, as if it was no big deal. In reality, your blood was racing at the prospect of having him in your mouth, at tasting him finally. And for him, he couldn’t quite keep his thoughts in a coherent string. “If you want,” you said.

“You sure?” You nodded, and Harry cursed under his breath. “Then, um, yeah.” 

You placed both the cameras on the ground next to him, clasping the lens caps over the lenses, before looking back up to him. Then, your hands were coming up to his waist and Harry thought he was going to melt into the ground at the feeling of your fingertips on his lower stomach as you brushed over the button of his pants. You were narrowly avoiding his dick and he couldn’t bear it. 

Your hands tucked into the fabric once the button was popped, and pulled, the zipper moving down smoothly. You pulled off his pants and underwear at the same time and Harry groaned hotly at the fresh air on his sensitive skin. 

As he panted, you studied him. Red, weepy tip, desperate and hard. You had caused this? You chewed on your cheek, the thought crossing into your brain that maybe you had the same effect on him as he had on you. 

You decided to give him all you had. You shifted on his body, moving so your knees were pressed to the ground in between his legs. Then, you leaned in and as ladylike as possible, let spit fall from your lips and onto his dick. 

Harry moaned wantonly above you, one of his hands moving to your hair and pulling it together, making a tie of sorts to keep it out of your face. Then, your hand moved from his hip to his dick, your fingers wrapping around his wide girth, and tugging softly, the slick of your spit making it smooth. 

You watched in rapture as Harry’s head fell back, his hips bucking slightly at your touch. He was more sensitive than you had thought. You pumped a few more times, taking immense joy in the pants and whimpers falling from his lips as you worked him. When you decided you had teased him enough, you shifted your head back down, and wrapped your lips around his tip. 

The groan that ripped from Harry’s throat had you moaning onto his skin, the vibrations just making more sounds echo between you. Harry’s voice was low and heavy and you loved the sound as you bobbed your head once, your spit and his pre-cum mixing in your mouth as you moved your lips down the length of him. 

It was sin, he thought as he watched you. Having you on him like this, letting himself feel you like this. It was pure, unabashed sin. He was going straight to hell for the thoughts of you that were floating through his head. Of you on your back, of you moaning his name, of your hands on his skin as he pushed in and out of you. 

He was definitely going to hell. 

Then you pulled off of him and licked a hot stripe up the underside of him and rolled his balls in his hand, the combination making him buck his hips again, unable to control himself. But you didn’t seem to mind. You just smiled softly--he could see your face slightly from the angle--and then took him all the way into your mouth. 

When he hit the back of your throat, he thought he might die there and then. Or perhaps he was already dead and this was heaven. Or hell. He didn’t really care, as long as you were there with him. 

You loved the feeling of him inside your mouth, the taste of him salty and perfect on your tongue. You loved the sounds you caused him to make, the ripple of his abs, the soft hold he had on your hair. You loved when he pushed into you and then apologized under his breath. You loved him. 

You added your hand back to his shaft and in quick motions, moved your hand and head together, meeting in the middle and working his length in perfect rhythm. When Harry moaned your name you knew he was close, his grip in your hair tightening and his fingernails scratching at your scalp. 

“’m close,” he mumbled above you. 

You kept going, not wanting to let up for a second, and Harry thought he was going to lose it. Were you going to let him come in your mouth? The thought had him nearly letting go immediately, but he wanted to check. 

“You can pull off,” he said, voice rough.

But you didn’t move. You just stayed stayed, taking him as deep as you could and tonguing at his tip with soft licks that had his eyes squeezing shut, teeth digging into his bottom lip.

And then he was coming, in long ropes in your mouth, coating your tongue. Your only movement was your hand moving from his base to his thigh, gripping the exposed skin to encourage him. 

“Fuck, Y/N, holy shit,” he breathed out, mind whirling at the feeling of you warm and wet around him. 

When you pulled off, there was a small smile on your face, and a hint of his cum at the corner of your lips. He let your hair go and swiped at it, taking it and pressing it back to your lips, watching in awe as they parted and accepted his finger. 

“You,” he murmured, “are incredible.”

You giggled and Harry couldn’t stop the next three words from falling from his mouth, no matter the fact this wasn’t the time. 

“I love you.”

Your eyes widened again, his finger still inside your mouth. Your jaw dropped, releasing it, and he watched your expression absorb his words. “You--what?”

“I love you.” He was more emphatic this time, showing you he was serious.

The words settled in your mind, rolling backwards and forwards in your thoughts. Could it be true? Could he actually feel the same way about you? Maybe so, you realized. Maybe he was telling you the truth. You searched his face for any sign that he was lying, but couldn’t find one. He looked like Harry, the one you knew well, the one you trusted with your whole heart. 

So you said the words back. “I love you too.”

The grin that ripped across his face rivalled any other in existence. “Yeah?”

A giggle escaped your lips and you nodded. “Yeah.”

Then his lips were on yours, and you leaned into him, hands moving to the back of his neck. He was delicious--tasted like minty toothpaste and the grass he had been lying in, the edge of a watermelon popsicle he’d eaten on the drive over. 

You shifted closer, but something stopped you. You glanced down and chuckled--his dick was pushed between you. 

Then he looked and he groaned. “Fuck--lemme--love can you move so I can pull up my pants?”

“Don’t want it in the way?”

He huffed, tugging at his pants once you shifted. “God, it really does have the worst fucking timing.”

Then he pulled you back in, re-claiming your lips. He never wanted to let you go. 

~~~

WELL THIS BECAME LONG SUDDENLY! ENJOY!

[crystal-snowing]

fake dating | seo changbin

synopsis: in order to take over the family company there is one condition that you need to fulfill, and in the heat of the moment and without thinking things through, you happen to mention your best friend, seo changbin. 

genre: best friends to lovers!au, rich! reader, idol!au

word count: 4.6k 

warnings: alcohol consumption and some light swearing

other members:  | felix | chan | jisung | minho | jeongin | seungmin | hyunjin |

a/n: i am now trying to restrain myself from starting any new series until i finish these uncompleted ones, join me on my journey to see if i actually follow through with this :)) also, this gif was edited by me, but the original gif belongs to @/changbeanie

seo changbin has been a constant figure in your life for as long as you can remember.  

it only made sense, after all, you were a part of the wealthy and illustrious [l/n] family, owners and inventors of some of the most high-end technology in south korea. 

when you were both children, fancy socialite gatherings were definitely not your scene, and being the only two kids there, it only made sense that the two of you would strike up a friendship. 

and this friendship continued to last as the two of you grew older, and even though you both went on separate paths, you both continued to stay in contact. 

it wasn’t a surprise to you when you learned that he had become an idol, especially debuting under the coveted company of JYP, he just had this knack about him—some kind of drive, that made you know he was going to go far. 

you, on the other hand, had your life planned out for you since the day you were born. 

it was only natural that you were going to inherit the multi-million dollar company from your parents, they would want it to go to nobody else except their own child, and you didn’t have a choice to decide otherwise. 

all your life you have been groomed for this position, and while attending school and then university, did you retain some of your independence and freedoms, you knew that it would all be over as soon as you graduated. 

it was pointless to try and delay your future, but there were nights were you longed for the freedoms of just being a normal person, instead of the heir to the [l/n] cooperation. 

and in more ways than one, did you envy the freedom and fun that your best friend seemed to be having in comparison to you. 

but as you grew older, you couldn’t imagine yourself doing anything else but running the company, it was your life and it was in your blood. 

in more ways than one, you were determined to succeed in all the ways that your parents failed, and you would make yourself worthy of the position CEO rather than a spoiled brat who simply inherited the position. 

however, what you were not expecting was a second request from your parents the day that you were signed over as the new CEO. 

“you want me to do what?” 

“it’s simple [y/n], sweetie, it’s not like we’re asking you to make a life altering decision!”

“mother, with all due respect, but i don’t want to get married.” 

“well, then i’m afraid that you don’t really have a choice. i’m sorry for giving you an ultimatum like these, but either you find yourself a suitable husband, or the company will have a new heir.” 

to say that you were baffled was a complete understatement. 

but, you needed this, the company, this lifestyle—everything, and you were not willing to let a slight hiccup in your plans deter you from getting what you wanted. 

and before you could stop yourself, the words had already spilled out of your mouth—a desperate attempt to keep everything that you have worked for still within your grasp.

“i’m not sure i’m going to need to find a husband, when i already have a boyfriend.”

oh how the tables have turned. 

turning away you fiddled with the hem of your clothing underneath the table, it was a blatant lie for sure, but you were desperate and if this was the only way that you could acquire the company, then so be it. 

however you weren’t in the clear just yet, your mother narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, still skeptical of your statement. 

“you’ve never mentioned a boyfriend, who is this boy and when can we meet him?”

crap, you didn’t think this far ahead—the jig was up, you were done for, and now you were going to be in even more trouble for lying.

you had to think quickly, something, anything that could possibly get you out of this predicament and quickly. 

and once again, as if you didn’t learn from your mistake just a few minutes ago, you opted for saying the name that came to mind. 

“seo changbin, he’s my boyfriend.” 

finally, that seemed to render your mother speechless, as you quickly bid your parents goodbye with a promise that you would call them later and set up a meeting. 

it was only when you stepped out of the building, could you feel the cool breeze on your heated cheeks, did you finally understand the gravity of the situation that you were in. 

somehow, if it was even possible, you seemed to have dug yourself into an even deeper hole than before.

slumping against the building and sliding down to the concrete sidewalk below, you placed your head in your hands and roughly scrubbed your face, wondering how you could have possibly ended up in a situation like this.

in all honesty, both you and changbin had not lost contact per se, but kind of drifted apart—both of you had become preoccupied with other responsibilities, and texting nonstop was more harmful than beneficial. 

you weren’t on terrible terms, so you could assume this fact was at least a partial silver lining in this fucked up situation.

but, on the other hand, it was kind of awkward for you to suddenly call him out of the blue, and ask him to do this relationship-altering favor for you after you both have spoken to each other in so long. 

but, once again, what choice did you have?

reaching into your pocket, you pulled out your cellphone before dialing the familiar number, waiting only three rings before he picked up. 

“i made a boo-boo,” you couldn’t help the phrase that tumbled out of your mouth as soon as he answered. 

he chuckled slightly before answering, “well, hello to you too, we haven’t talked in almost three months and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

letting out a deep sigh, you hastily explained the predicament that you were in, everything from inheriting the company, to how your parents set up this ridiculous condition in order for you to do so.

“and so i kind of may have, sorta, mentioned your name,” you mumbled, clutching the phone close to your ear as you gnawed harshly on your lower lip. 

there was silence on the other end of the line for a couple of seconds, and you could vaguely heard what sounded like screams of other boys in the background, with the sound of laughter and loud music following them. 

“i completely understand if you can’t do this, i mean with your career and everything and this could really jeopardize everything, i mean i honestly don’t even know what came over me when i—” you continued to stammer, tapping your fingers rapidly against the back of your phone.

“[y/n], relax, take a deep breath and relax,” and upon following his instructions, you could easily feel some of the stress leave your body as he continued, “right now isn’t really the best time, but let me call you back later tonight, and we can talk about this.”

but that didn’t answer your question, in fact it only seemed to cause a resurgence in your anxiety, and before he could hang up you mumbled out another question. 

“this means you’ll help me, right?” 

it was almost inaudible, how softly you whispered, and you weren’t sure if he even heard you, but as soon as you heard his laughter, you were a bit perplexed to say the least.

you weren’t sure what to think about the chuckling on the other side of the line, but it filled you with a sense of warmth—a sensation that you haven’t felt in a long while. 

“yes, i’ll be your fake boyfriend,” changbin confirmed softly, before bidding you goodbye.

currently, it was close to eleven o’clock at night, and still there was no sign of life from the electronic device, and you were stressed to say the least. 

 he said that he would call, he said that he would call—a mantra that was currently repeating like a broken record inside your head. 

however, your anxiety soon turned to confusion as soon as you heard a faint knock at your front door. 

visitors at this hour were unheard of, especially for you, who lived in a penthouse on the top floor of the apartment complex, the most secluded portion of the building. 

taking a look through the peephole, you were surprised to see changbin there, dressed in casual grey sweats and sneakers with a black mask and cap covering most of his features, but to you it was completely obvious that it was him. 

quickly you opened the door and ushered him into your apartment, closing it behind him and prompting him to take off his makeshift disguise.

“what are you doing here, i thought you were going to call?” you asked, turning around and facing him, your eyes widening a bit as you drank in his appearance.

 he looked good, honestly, good was not even the word to describe how good he looked. 

even though it has been a couple months since the two of you last texted each other, it has been maybe a couple of years since you both have seen each other—and you had to admit, whatever they have been feeding him at jyp entertainment has certainly done him well.

he has muscles now and long-gone was the lanky boy from middle school, his skin was glowing, and there was something about the way that he carried himself, perhaps with more confidence that was perhaps kind of attractive. 

“we haven’t seen each other in so long, i was thinking that you wouldn’t mind me paying you a visit,” changbin grinned, flashing his pearly whites. 

yikes, suddenly it was feeling a bit stuffy in the room, as you turned away and adjusted the baggy old t-shirt that you were wearing, suddenly self-conscious about the way that you were dressed. 

grabbing some drinks from the kitchen, you offered one to him as you both sat on the couch, popping the top of the bottle, you took a long sip before whipping your mouth with the back of your hand, before speaking.

“so, this is what i need you to do.” 

it was simple, really, you were going to schedule a dinner with your parents and introduce him as your boyfriend and in the meantime you just needed to fill both of your phones up with “memories” of the two of you in order to really sell the story that you have been dating for months. 

now, the tricky part was revolving everything around changbin’s situation as an idol.

there was no way you were willing to drag his name through the mud and absolutely tarnish everything that he has worked for, but this relationship had to be believable and in order for that to work there was bound to be conflicts in scheduling. 

perhaps, you had thought too rashly about this whole situation, who were you kidding, you weren’t even thinking when you blurted out his name, and now you were in a deep dilemma.

and after voicing your concerns to him, he waved his hand, telling you that it was no problem at all—promising you that he was going to keep this, his personal life, private from his idol life.

and so everything started to be set in motion. 

it began with the cryptic posts that you started posting on instagram, most of the time they showed a picture of you in the city or some food that you would eat, nothing typically out of the ordinary.

a few days later, changbin would post something on the official stray kids account, a similar picture to your own, as if he was mirroring everything that you posted.

none of your antics seemed to draw suspicion from the public, which was a good sign, so you decided to up the ante.

“no, you’re standing all wrong,” you pouted, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at changbin. 

“what do you mean, i’m standing exactly how you want me to,” he chuckled, mimicking your stance, “maybe you’re the one standing wrong.” 

instead of answering, you slapped him lightly on the arm, “let’s just do this again, and make sure you follow exactly what i tell you!” 

he rolled his eyes playfully before doing what he was told.

you stood in front of him in front of a mirror, his hands came to wrap around your hips, as his head nuzzled into your neck, and for the final touch, your hand interlocked with one that was resting on your hip. 

he smelled good, like really good, perhaps a mix of sandalwood and some kind of light citrus.

you couldn’t deny the heat that flooded your cheeks, feeling the warmth radiate off of him, his scent making you feel a bit lightheaded. 

this was your idea after all, but you didn’t think that you were going to get like this swooning over your best friend as if you were back in middle school all over again. 

that’s right, seo changbin was nothing more than just your best friend, and thinking these things about him was only going to drive a wedge between the two of you. 

snapping the picture quickly, you pulled away, causing a small frown to flash across his lips, before vanishing.

“so, how did it come out?” changbin asked, peeking over your shoulder as he shoved his now empty arms inside of his pockets. 

“uh, really good! don’t worry, your face is completely covered, so nobody will know.” 

“we should probably meet by the pier next week to take some more, i heard that was a popular spot for couples,” he nodded, pulling away slightly from your figure. 

you couldn’t help that warm and fuzzy feeling from tingling up your spine as the word “couple” left his mouth. 

it was foolish to think this way, and you knew that, but in all honesty, how could you possibly help yourself? 

somewhere in these past few weeks, the line between “newly reconnected best friends” and “perhaps something more” began to blur and you found yourself lost in a sea of emotions and feelings.

he was a successful idol, with seven other successful members that were counting on him, and something like this, would be detrimental to his career. 

something like this could never happen, and even indulging in it for a second was not worth the wasted time and effort.

but, only for a second, you could wish that the two of you were different people in another life, perhaps ordinary people and then maybe things wouldn’t be so complicated. 

somehow you had attempted to convince yourself that you were content with the way life was right now, trapped in the limbo that you called a love life, and perfectly happy with the very real feelings you were currently experiencing with your fake boyfriend. 

“you have that look on your face again, is it the food?” changbin asked, tilting his head to the side with his eyebrows furrowed, “i can call the waiter back and you can order something else if you want, i don’t mind.” 

the salty breeze surrounded you, and for a second you thought you were going to be sick. 

it was almost nauseating the way that he was looking at you, there was so much care and consideration in his eyes, that you were practically ready to yeet throw yourself off of the boardwalk and into the ocean below.

it was unfair the way that he was acting right now, it was almost as if he expected you to fall for him and at this rate, you weren’t sure if you could stop. 

the candle light illuminated his features perfectly, casting a soft shadow on his handsome face that your heart already skipped ten beats since you’ve got here—and with his white dress shirt rolled up to his elbows, exposing his muscles, it was already game over. 

you had already finished taking pictures, and you had already uploaded them to your account, the picture of you and him (his face obscured of course) was already generating thousands of likes, and you were both just enjoying your food and each other’s company.

“it’s nothing! i don’t want to ruin the night,” you dismissed his worries with a wave of your hand, taking your fork and shifting the food on your plate from one side to the other.

while your attention was fixated on the plate in front of you, you were oblivious to the deep frown that was etched on his lips. 

in one swift motion, he reached across the table and grabbed your wrist, forcing you to look at him. 

“your problems are my problems, at the end of the day we’re still best friends, and i don’t want that to change between us.” 

the intensity and sincerity that reflected through his brown eyes caused shivers to travel down your spine, but ouch did his words sting. 

flashing him a sheepish smile, you gently tugged his hand off of your wrist, the warmth almost a painful reminder of his words, before speaking. 

“i’m fine, don’t worry about me!” you paused, swallowing the lump in your throat, “how about we go play some carnival games after dinner, those used to be our favorite when we were kids.” 

he didn’t put up much of a fight as you grabbed his hand and dragged him away from the table after paying, both of you getting lost in the bright lights and sounds of the boardwalk. 

and at the end of the night, when he dropped you back off at your apartment with a giant teddy bear and polaroids in your hand, you couldn’t help but somehow taste the bittersweetness on your tongue. 

that night, the words “best friends” were the only thing ringing through your head as you drifted off to sleep.

fast forward a couple of months later, and you found yourself stressing out at the most upscale restaurant in the city, practically guzzling the entire bottle of wine that the waiter left unattended at your table. 

sitting on your right sat changbin, dressed handsomely in a tie and suit, eyeing you as you finished your second glass within fifteen minutes of arriving. 

“woah there, don’t you think you should chill out with the alcohol,” he scolded you grabbing both the bottle and the glass, moving it away from you as you merely shrugged. 

“they’re not here yet, plus if i’m sober, they are definitely going to see right through this lie.” 

there was already a slight haziness to your vision and your whole body was filled with warmth, but you were definitely not as intoxicated as you wish you were. 

and that wasn’t exactly the whole truth either. 

you see, changbin looked absolutely dashing in that suit, and well that was making your heart hurt a little more than you expected. 

it had nothing to do with the suit itself, no, in fact he hasn’t done anything wrong per se ever since he picked you up for the dinner tonight. 

instead, you were completely and utterly upset at him, and everything about him frustrated you to no end.

this dinner right here was the end game, it was simple really, after your parents accepted him and with the promise that the two of you would get married, the company was yours.

then, the two of you would “breakup” and your parents cannot rescind their offer without looking like fools in front of the media—therefore, everything that you could ever want was waiting for you as soon as this dinner ended. 

however, was it really everything that you wanted? 

because the man that was currently sitting next to you was certainly not excluded from the list. 

he was making you reevaluate if this was all that you wanted for the rest of your life, like yes, you would have the company—the sole thing that you have you wanted since you were a child, but you wouldn’t have him. 

and you weren’t sure if the company was even worth it anymore if you could never truly have him. 

and as you were about to reach for both the bottle and glass, the ding of the elevator stopped you cold in your tracks, and you instead opted for sitting gracefully back down in your seat.

there, entering the room were your parents, a composed expression etched on their faces as they made their way over to your table. 

“[y/n], my darling, it’s nice to see you,” your mother greeted you, before turning her attention away and onto your companion, “and who is this?” 

holding back a sigh, you cleared your throat before speaking, “this is my boyfriend, seo changbin.”

pleasantries between your parents and him were exchanged, and now it was time to commence the most dreadful dinner that you have ever attended. 

it was so obvious that your parents were suspicious of changbin, and unlike you, they were not as good at concealing their feelings. 

they started with the usual questions, “oh, how long have the two of you been dating?”, “what do you do for a living?”, “what are your intentions with my child?”, etc. 

and while the both of you have prepped for these questions, he definitely answered better than you could have hoped, some of his answers seeming so genuine that it made your chest ache. 

throughout the night, you could feel his gaze lingering on you as you continued to sip more wine, the alcoholic beverage making you feel warm and slightly numbed the pain of sitting here and having to listen to your parents incessantly brag about their jobs. 

the night was soon drawing to a close, and you were absolutely certain that changbin had won over your parents, they would not stop laughing at his jokes and their whole demeanor was like something you have rarely seen, for once, they looked happy. 

“thank you for coming tonight, and i really enjoyed meeting you,” changbin bowed slightly, as your parents dismissed him with a wave of their hand. 

“it was our pleasure meeting you again, and make sure you tell your mother hello for us,” your mother smiled as she made her way towards the elevator. 

she walked over towards you and gave you a hug, whispering in your ear that by tomorrow the company was yours, before both of your parents walked into the elevator and the doors closed with a firm click. 

this should have been your moment of victory, your moment of joy—your moment of realizing that everything that you have worked for was finally being realized, but it wasn’t.

walking out of the restaurant, you couldn’t help but admire how brightly the stars seemed to twinkle in the sky tonight, despite the ever bright lights of seoul. 

“oh no, i know that look, do you wanna tell me where your head is at, [n/n]?” 

your eyes glanced up to meet his own, before looking away admiring the bright lights of the city instead of having to confront him and talk about your problems. 

you were perfectly content with walking back to your apartment this way, in complete and utter silence, but your last straw seemed to be when he draped his jacket around your shoulders. 

“you need it more than i do, plus it’s cold ou and your parents would never forgive me, if you caught a cold.” 

that seemed to be the straw that broke camel’s back, and you weren’t sure what came over you, but you suddenly exploded. 

“just stop alright, it’s over, whatever this is between us is over.” 

you could feel him slightly flinch at your words, pulling away from your figure as his eyes narrowed at you. 

“what are you talking about? what is ‘this’? i was just helping you, doing a favor for a friend, and  this is the thanks that i get?” he scowled, folding his arms across his chest as you both stopped walking, standing merely three feet away from each other on a deserted street. 

friend, that word just slapped you in the face, as you scowled and turned away from him.

“y’know what, just forget i even said anything, i can find my way home alone.”

turning your heel, you were about to stalk away in a huff, cheeks burning with embarrassment and anger, but before you could even take another step, you were tugged back towards him. 

his warm hand enveloped your wrist, holding you firmly in place as you frowned at him.

“there’s no way i’m letting you walk home this late at night, if anything happened to you, i would never forgive myself.” 

you couldn’t help but scoff at his statement, “you can stop pretending, it’s fine, you can drop the act.” 

you could practically see the gears turning in his head, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he attempted to follow along your haphazard thought process. 

you weren’t sure if the alcohol was impairing your judgement or not, but before you could stop yourself, you blurted out what you have been thinking the entire night, “you can stop pretending that you like me.” 

cue the awkward tension, the grip on your hand loosened, and you were free to escape perhaps one of the most embarrassing moments of your life, but for some reason you feet was rooted to the ground—waiting, wishing, and hoping for a response. 

“who said i was pretending?” 

ah, there it was the rejection that you have been waiting—wait.

his voice cut through the silence like a knife, and you jerked your head up so fast that you almost gave yourself whiplash. 

“you, me, like, what?” 

your less-than grammatically correct sentence seemed to lessen the awkward tension, his laugh warming you despite the coolness of the night. 

“yes, me like you,” he grinned, pulling you closer to him until you were pressed against his chest, “and i agree, we should stop whatever this is and start dating for real.” 

“wow, aren’t you a charmer, changbin,” you chuckled lightly, practically feeling his heart beat in sync with your own. 

you weren’t sure if you were hallucinating or not, but you could swear that the distance between both of your faces was starting to get smaller and you could practically feel his warm breath tingling your lips. 

“i’m going to kiss you now, is that okay?” 

you meekly nodded, before his lips were pressed firmly against your own, his hands coming to wrap around your waist as you moved yours around his neck. 

of course, he had to be such a great kisser, and you were wondering if there was possibly anything that seo changbin was bad at. 

his lips were slightly chapped, but with the way his hands were moving through your hair and the way he was making you lightheaded and unsteady on your feet, was enough for you to overlook that. 

pulling away, he pressed his forehead against your own, and the only sound that could be heard was the soft breathless gasps from the both of you. 

“now that i have you, i swear, i’m never letting you go.”

[obeyme-kaidii-writes]

Alone (2/2)

Leviathan x gn!MC

Content Warnings - implied/reference self harm, self harm scars, LOTS of angst, kinda Yandere Levi, setting healthy relationship boundaries, happy ending

Summary -  After talking to Mammon, you manage to figure out what’s wrong with Levi and the two of you have a serious heart to heart, setting some important boundaries. PART ONE HERE

Chapter 2 - After

You had barely been able to concentrate during school. Your thoughts were full of Levi and what had happened this morning. You weren’t sure what had caused him to snap like that, but you were willing to bet it had something to do with why he was so upset yesterday. Now if only you could figure out what had upset him then, you might be able to figure out a way to help.

You sighed again, as you poked the food on your plate. It was lunch time now and normally you would be texting Levi to see how things were going in his classes and to update him on your day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that until you got your thoughts in order and had a proper conversation with him.

“Whattya sighin’ for? Ya been doing it all day and it’s startin’ ta get on my nerves.”

Though he was trying to sound annoyed, you could tell that Mammon was concerned. He had apologized to you while helping you prepare breakfast for crashing your date with Levi yesterday. He knew he should have changed his plans once he realized everyone else wanted to tag along. (He didn’t bother to try to deny the fact that he still would have shown up on his own if it had been possible.)

You had been quick to forgive him, which Mammon appreciated, but he also wasn’t sure you had been really listening to him all that much. Your mind had seemed to be elsewhere. Normally he would have called you out on it too, demanding you pay attention to The Great Mammon and act a bit more grateful he was helping you out. But he got the feeling that even if he had said anything it wouldn’t have made a difference - you just seemed that distracted.

“Hey. Ya gonna tell me what’s up?”

His voice had softened now, the teasing tone gone. You looked up to see Mammon watching you intently. You tried to offer him a smile, but you were unsuccessful and the face you made was somewhere between pain and worry.

“I...ummm...promise this stays between us ok? You can’t tell ANYONE. And you have to promise that you will not try to do anything about it. Ok?”

Mammon did not like the sound of that. He furrowed his brow, but agreed nonetheless.

“I...I got in a fight with Levi. I think at least. I’m not sure. This morning he just wasn’t...well, he wasn’t himself. And it kinda scared me. So I left. And we haven’t talked yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Mammon listened closely to your words. He still didn’t know what happened, but he could tell you were doing everything you could to avoid saying it. A fight with Levi? Pfft. What did you do? Insult Ruri-chan? How could you not be sure if you had a fight? And what do you mean Levi wasn’t….

“HE WHAT?!” Mammon jumped to his feet, ready to head home immediately and beat the living daylights out of his younger brother. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That pathetic, whiny brat transformed on you?! What the fuck was he thinking??

“Mammon! Please! Calm down!”, you pleaded with him. People were staring now and you really didn’t want to cause a scene. The last thing you needed was more trouble with angry demons, upset because you disturbed their lunch.

Taking one look at you, Mammon sat down with a huff. He was still ready to rip Levi limb from limb, but had promised you that he wouldn’t try to do anything about what you had told him. He’d just have to come up with some reason to teach him a lesson later.

“Fine.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t like it was on purpose…”

“That’s even worse!”

“...He was just so upset. He was scared of something, but I don’t know what. And he just kept asking me not to leave.”

“So what are ya gonna do? You’re not seriously going back to him, are ya?”

“Of course I’m going back to him! Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t actually DO anything. He got upset, but he let me go.

I just...need to find out what happened to him that got him so worked up. Everything seemed to be going so well until yesterday afternoon when y’all showed up at the tea house.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Errrr...well…kinda?”

You were glaring at Mammon now. ‘Kinda’ my ass, you thought.

“Alright alright! Stop lookin’ at me like that! I’ll tell ya! Sheesh.

Ok. So look. Levi’s the Avatar of Envy right? Means he gets jealous real easy. Up until now, y’all have sorta been off in your own little world and haven’t paid much attention to the rest of us.

But yesterday, we all showed up durin’ your date, yeah? When Levi wasn’t even at the table.

So I’m thinkin’ he saw us all talkin’ and havin’ fun and whatever and got jealous. And that’s what set him off.”

Ah. That made sense. Why didn’t you think of that earlier? How could you possibly be so dense as to not notice that your own boyfriend was jealous?? He’s the personification of Envy for crying out loud! You knew that! Jealousy should have been the first thing you suspected given the timing of everything.

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, leaning back in your seat, covering your face with your hands. Just how oblivious were you?

“So, this morning, when he was saying all the stuff about not wanting me to leave….”

“Probably ‘cause he was feeling insecure and scared ya’d leave ‘im for good.”

You let out another loud groan of frustration at your own stupidity. You didn’t mean to, but you had hurt Levi unintentionally. No wonder he was upset. You knew that didn’t excuse his behavior, especially him grabbing you, but it at least gave you a place to start so that you could try to work things out with him.

“Thanks, Mammon. Don’t you dare let anyone ever make you feel like the stupid one, you got it? You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Mammon replied, blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh. He really was a great best friend and you had never been more thankful that he was part of your life than right now.

————

“Levi? Hey, I’m home.”

You knocked on his door again, but still no response. You had been expecting that though. So taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you opened his door and let yourself inside.

What greeted you, was an absolute disaster. Figurines, plushies, books, and DVD cases were scattered everywhere. One of his computer monitors was even on the floor, cracked and ruined beyond repair. Your chest tightened as you surveyed the damage. What had happened after you left?

Careful of where you were walking, trying to avoid stepping on anything as best you could, you moved further inside the room to look for your Leviathan. When you found him, he was curled up in his tub, still in his demon form with his shirt removed. Seeing him like that made you gasp, and you had to fight back tears. He just looked so broken. His face was red from crying and stained with dried tears, his hair was a disheveled, tangled mess, and you saw what had appeared to be claw marks all over his chest, that by now were mostly healed but still appeared very fresh.

Without another thought, you slipped into the tub with him, spooning him from behind, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. You knew you still needed to talk to him, but you had to make sure he was alright first before anything else. He wasn’t going to be able to listen to a thing you said if he was still as worked up as he had been. Levi continued to sleep, breathing steadily, and you knew he must have been exhausted. Pulling the blanket up to cover you both, you settled down, snuggled behind him and went to sleep.

————

As Levi started to wake up, the first thing he became aware of was the blanket covering his body. He didn’t remember covering himself up and wondered when he had managed to do that. But while he was pondering about the origins of the blanket, he started to become aware of the warmth that was pressing against his back, and the arm draped over his side.

His breath hitched, and he desperately fought the urge to immediately turn around. You couldn’t possibly be here. There was no way you could. After what he did...he choked back a sob as another flood of memories and anxieties washed over him.

“Levi, you okay?”

That was your voice. There was no mistaking it. It was so soft, and clear, and soothing. Cautiously, Levi rolled over so he was facing you.

“Hey babe,” you whispered, brushing the tangled mess that was his bangs out of his eyes so you could get a better look at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back any longer, and broke down again, in a mixture of relief and regret now that you were right in front of him. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but he was so incredibly happy that you were here.

As you watched Levi cry, you did the only thing you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You didn’t want to tell him everything was “alright” because it honestly wasn’t, so you decided on “I’m here” as you rubbed gentle circles on his back.

“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shhhhh. We will talk later ok? Just calm down right now, alright? I’m here. We will talk later. I promise.”

Levi nodded, burying his face into your shoulder, careful not to stab you with his horns. He had tried to shift back to his human form when he first noticed you, but he was still too anxious and agitated to manage it.

It took a good hour for Levi to finally calm down enough to talk to you. At some point his tail had become entwined around your leg, but his hold was gentle. You could tell he was being cautious and you appreciated it and the intimate gesture.

After another moment of silence as Levi gathered his thoughts, he started to apologize:

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, “I shouldn’t….I shouldn’t have grabbed you….”

Levi struggled to get his words out. His throat burned and felt so raw. But he knew he needed to say this. He needed to tell you how he felt and that he knew it was all his fault. He knew you were going to leave after you finished talking, so he had to make sure he said all he had to say before that.

“Thank you for saying that,” you replied, kissing his forehead, “I mean it. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

You could tell he had more to say, so you calmly waited, rubbing his back gently and resting your cheek against his head, reassuring him that you were still here and ready to listen.

“I saw you with my brothers yesterday and...I just...I got jealous,” his voice was scarcely above a whisper now, but he kept going, “And, I...I...I know that you have to be disgusted with me after that. I know that...who wouldn’t…”

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted with you?”

“Because. Because I was jealous. And that’s not good, right? Good boyfriends aren’t supposed to be jealous. If I’m jealous that means I don’t trust you, right? Or that I’m a loser...which I know I am...but still. I shouldn’t have been jealous…”

“Aw, Levi, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with jealousy. That’s normal. Everyone...”

“No! You don’t get it. I was really really really jealous,” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, desperate for you to understand just how despicable he was, “Really jealous. Like lock-you-up-and-never-let-you-go, yandere type of jealousy.”

“But you didn’t Levi; you did let me go.”

“It doesn’t matter! I still felt that way! I...I...I...still feel that way. Even now. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here. Forever. And I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I still….I still don’t want you to leave me.”

You listened carefully as Levi spoke, piecing together how he was feeling bit by bit. This sounded like it was more than just the incident at the tea house that had bothered him. It seemed like this is something he had been struggling with and battling all on his own, hiding it from you out of fear. The thought made you pull him close again, and he didn’t even attempt to resist you, he just melted in your arms.

There was so much you had to say to him now that you had a clearer picture of what he had been dealing with, that you scarcely knew where to begin.

“Ok Levi, I’m going to talk now alright? And I need you to listen. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Ok?”

He nodded against your chest, he knew what was coming. This was the part where you would tell him how awful he was and how you never wanted to see him again and how much more wonderful all his other brothers were and how you regretted ever…

“I love you, Levi. You’re...well you’re my favorite person. The first one I always think of. The first one I want to share good news with. The first one I want to see when I’m upset. It’s you. It’s all you.

I want you to tell me these things. Please. It’s ok to be jealous. I get jealous sometimes too. And well, I think because you tried to hide it and keep it to yourself...I think that’s what allowed it to fester. But if you had talked to me about it? If you had talked about it, we could have worked something out. Together.

I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple right? So aren’t we supposed to solve problems together? That’s all I want.”

“How am I supposed to tell you that I want to lock you in my room and never let you leave? How is that supposed to help? It’s not like you’re suddenly going to let me do it. All it would do is prove what a twisted pervert I am…”

“...I might.”

“Huh?!” Levi jerked back once more so that he could see your face. He had to be sure of what he was hearing. You...wanted…him to lock you up…? That can’t be right. There’s no way you’d sink to his level of depravity, even if you were only doing it to comfort him.

“I said, if you were to ask me, I might let you lock me up.”

Levi was now frozen in place. His brain was misfiring and he didn’t know if he should laugh, cry, or just be plain embarrassed. Why were you saying these things? Did you even understand what you were saying? You couldn’t just say something like that. Here he was trying to control his darker urges and you were...encouraging them.

“We could do it like any other kink. Come up with a safeword. Have a plan in place. Talk about what was allowed and what wasn’t. I don’t see any reason not to, honestly. And if it’ll make you feel better, and give you some sort of outlet for your anxiety, then all the more reason to.”

He really didn’t know how to process this. He had just revealed the darkest, ugliest parts of himself to you, and you weren’t even batting an eye. He had assumed you were going to take off running at some point during the conversation and never look back, but you were still here. You were still talking to him, still trying to understand him. And he just couldn’t believe it. How could you love him so much?

“Hey, I mean it, Levi,” you reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, “This isn’t something I want you to keep to yourself. You should tell me these things. You HAVE to tell me these things. If it’s something simple I can fix, then I can fix it. And if it’s not, then we can come up with a way to reassure you, and help you work through those emotions. Just...trust me a little, please?”

He wasn’t sure when, but at some point he had started crying again. But these weren’t the sad, angry, bitter tears from before. No, these were tears of pure relief. You understood him. You accepted him. You weren’t disgusted by him. He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him right now, so he just nodded again and held your hand closer to his cheek.

“So now that we are on the same page...do you think you could tell me what it was you were so worried about yesterday?”

Levi didn’t even need to think about it now, of course he would tell you. He’d tell you everything. His demonic form was finally fading away, and he curled up as close as he could manage next to you, wanting to feel more of your warmth.

“I...umm...just...well…you looked like you were having a lot of fun with my brothers. And I well, I wondered if you had been having that much fun with me...because I didn’t really talk with you yesterday. I just sorta did my own thing while you watched…”

You were struggling not to laugh now. You really needed to keep it together because you didn’t want Levi to get the wrong idea, but it was a battle that was more difficult than you would have thought possible under the circumstances.

“I’m sorry Levi,” you gave him another kiss to his forehead before resting yours against his, closing your eyes, “I’m not laughing at you I swear. I’m just laughing at the situation I guess? I mean, I don’t know what you saw when you found me sitting with your brothers, but I can promise you I was not enjoying myself. Frankly I was beyond pissed. Mammon I understood you know, because he’s always tagging along...but for everyone else to show up? It infuriated me.

And as for you being excited and ignoring me...sweetheart, that’s why I took you there in the first place. I know how much you love that stuff. And you are just so incredibly cute when you’re in your element and enjoying yourself. So I took you there knowing full well what I was getting myself into. That was the entire point.”

Well, now he just felt foolish. Everything he had been worried about...the anxiety that had been eating at him for the past 24 hours...he could have avoided it all if he had just talked to you earlier. He hated how simple it was.

“Is there anything else?” you asked, checking in on Levi as he continued to come to terms with the fact your idea of a good time included watching him be the biggest dork he could.

“Oh yeah, I guess. I uh, I wasn’t trying to ignore you yesterday. After we got home I mean. It was just like...like I couldn’t even hear you. I mean I could hear you...I knew you were talking...but I didn’t know what you were saying.”

You had to smile at his confession just now, maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but that was far from the first time he had stopped being able to verbally respond to you. There were plenty of other times where he had been stressed, that he just opted for laying near you and zoning out while you played with his hair or you cuddled and watched a movie together.

“I know, Levi. I get it. I don’t know if you realize this but...that’s not the first time something like that has happened. And I didn’t think for a moment you were ignoring me on purpose, ok?”

Levi breathed another sigh of relief. You were amazing, so incredibly amazing. How did he manage to be this lucky? He knew there had been other times where he had struggled to respond to you, and he thought you hadn’t noticed because you never said anything to him. But it turns out you knew the whole time and had already decided to embrace that along with the rest of his quirks.

The two of you continued to lay there in comfortable silence, holding each other close. You were hoping against hope that you had gotten through to Levi, and that he knew how much he meant to you and how willing you were to work things out with him. Telling you everything, and laying it all out there couldn’t have been easy for him. He was self conscious enough as it is about normal things, you couldn’t imagine how much resolve it had to have taken for him to open up to you about this.

Now that the anxiety, tension, and fear had left Levi’s body completely, he found himself struggling to remain awake. He wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Sleep was a waste. If he slept, you really would have to go.

You could see how much of a fight he was putting up to remain awake. His eyelids kept drooping, and his head would occasionally bob, before he’d jerk himself awake once more. So cute, you thought.

“Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’m gonna get started cleaning things up. But I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. I won’t go anywhere without telling you, ok?”

Levi nodded, he was so exhausted at this point, and your permission was all his body needed to stop its attempts at resistance. The last thing he remembered before he drifted off was the feeling of your lips on his cheek as you climbed out of the tub, and tucked him in.

————

Leaving Levi in the tub, you set to work tidying up his room. If you were being honest, you wished you could stay by his side and get some rest yourself, but you knew that this had to be taken care of first. You didn’t want Levi to see the damage he’d done to his room when he had been in his demon form, because you were sure he wasn’t even completely aware of what he had been doing. If he saw things as they were, you imagined it may only send him into another guilty spiral of anxiety, and you didn’t want to chance it. You would just have to explain things to him later.

As you worked, you couldn’t help but think of just how upset he had to have been. He loved his collections. He treasured them and went through great pains to preserve them so that they could always be enjoyed in perfect condition, as intended by their creators.

But seeing everything scattered about how it was only served to remind you of the depth of his self loathing. He had been doing so well as of late, that you nearly had forgotten just how dark his thoughts tend to turn. For every thing you loved about him, he had something he hated about himself.

And while he was proud in his declarations of love for his interests, he also was very much aware how people viewed him because of it. You wished you could get him to see himself as you did. Then maybe he could learn to have just a tiny bit more confidence, and just be slightly less anxious all the time. You didn’t want to change him - you just didn’t want to see him suffer.

Just as you placed the last figurine back in its rightful position, you felt your DDD vibrate in your pocket. It was Mammon, and he was checking in on you.

“Hey. Everything goin’ alright? He’s not refusin’ to let you leave, is he?”

You were about to type a reply, when another message came through soon after,

“If ya don’t answer me I’m comin’ over there and kickin’ his ass.”

He was looking out for you, and it warmed your heart. You had dumped a lot on him earlier, and he had been so supportive and understanding. It couldn’t have been easy for him, you knew, to let you go back and see Levi again after the things you had confided in him. Mammon was insanely protective of you. And you really couldn’t blame him, especially considering you had had a couple near death experiences at the hands of his brothers, Levi included.

“I’m fine. Levi is asleep.” You sent your message through quickly, before deciding to send along another with a new selfie attached as proof of your condition.

“Good. Stay that way. Dinner is soon.”

You smiled as you flicked the screen of your DDD off, and slipped it back into your pocket. Looking over the room once more, you felt a tiny bit proud at how well you had done restoring order.

You didn’t notice it, but Levi had woken up a little bit ago and had been watching you work. He was so grateful to you for cleaning things up, even if he was embarrassed that you had to have seen him like that. The fact that you managed to return everything to its rightful place was a testament to how much time you had spent with him, and how much attention you paid to things he was interested in, and it made him feel so incredibly loved.

His memories from most of the day were fuzzy, as they usually were whenever he lost control of himself like that. He was thankful he had managed to keep it together long enough for you to leave this morning too. He didn’t know what he would have done if he really had hurt you, instead of just taking out his anxiety on himself. The thought made him shiver, and as he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, he realized his shirt was missing.

His cheeks flushed once he remembered that only a few hours ago you had been snuggled up close to him, and therefore had to have noticed. Even though it made no sense after everything else that had happened, the realization embarrassed him greatly. You may have already been intimate plenty of times before, but letting you see him naked outside of those times still felt awkward.

When he looked up again, he saw you smiling at him. You had been watching as he tried to cover his body with his blanket. The fact that he was blushing and embarrassed about his state of undress helped you relax. If he had the wherewithal to care about that, you knew he was going to be alright.

You walked over to him, and knelt by the edge of the tub, crossing your arms and resting them on its side. Levi looked away from you now that you were close, and you reached out to tuck some stray hairs behind his ear. It was a sweet gesture, but entirely unproductive given the state of the rest of his beautiful purplish, blue locks.

“Hey you. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Just a little tired, I guess.” He gave you a sheepish smile, “Umm, thank you. For cleaning up. I know it had to have been a hassle. Sorry you had to see things like that. But ummm...thanks.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’d do the same for me right?”

Levi blushed again, and gave you a small nod. Of course he would do the same for you. How could you possibly think anything else? He might not be as eloquent as you, but he definitely would have done his absolute best to be there for you. He wouldn’t have abandoned you, that’s for sure.

“I uh...think I need to shower. Before dinner, you know.”

“Hmm, maybe I should join you,” you teased, a smile playing at your lips.

“Yeah, maybe you should.”

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed, and your face flushed crimson. You were used to being the one with the upper hand, and you weren’t sure how you felt about this sudden role reversal. But one thing was for sure - you certainly enjoyed that hungry, needy look in his eyes as he waited for your response.