#I know the issue. I just need to. talk myself down (working on it lol)

[pomfiores]

Despite all of the beauty routines specifically catered for him (and typically work like magic) and how careful he is around sweets for his figure (despite Adoring them), when he stresses enough - the tricks only go a long way.

Vil bites his nails when under enough stress. and it messes with him even more because he hates the look. he hates how ugly it looks and putting on nail polish would make it even more obvious so he legit has to fight himself to stop it and look for ways to lessen the stress and quick or it'll get worse and spread onto both hands.

it's a habit stemmed from childhood (stage fright, mom making him anxious - bullying prior to taking defense classes. nail biting made him stop and think and self soothe despite being such a terrible habit. which promoted braces later on in his life - I'll get into small cosmetics he got into w "fixing" flaws growing up) and while he mostly grew out of the habit, it still comes back sometimes when he least expects it. worst of all, sometimes he just starts biting without thinking. the fidgeting also is what triggers it so when he's messing w his hands enough, eventually he'll find a flaw and eventually he'll start trying to remove it via biting. kind of a big reason why he scolds others when fidgeting bc he has this habit. just trying to avoid them from probably doing the same thing he does.

he will Refuse to let people touch his hands when he knows he's exceptionally worse on some days. mostly? his hands are fine! beautiful and well cared for but he crosses his arms so often it's usually to hide the damage he did throughout the week. and the gloves definitely work in his favor. so. future bf, gf, partner, y'know what to do /smacked

[daemour]

♡ Event: @pirateeznet 2nd Anniversary Event

♡ Pairing: Farmhand! Choi San x home aide! f! Reader

♡ Genre: Harvest Moon AU, slight slow burn, fluff, slight angst, T for Teen

♡ Warnings: Cursing, some sexual innuendos at the end, that's it

♡ Summary: Working as a home aide on a farm brings you some new trials...namely a certain attractive farmhand named San.

♡ Word Count: 9277 (im SORRY)

♡ Genre: Regular Life ; Prompt: Coworkers

This was supposed to be...a lot longer. LAMFIJGDFJKGHKJSHDF x) With both Hwa and Joong as other love interests...but I gotta learn how to restrain myself LOL. But I do have more planned with YN and San (and a little more spicy too hehe) so if you'd like to read that let me know!

it's a honker of a fic, so i really do hope you enjoy despite the plot holes LMAO

Thank you to @okiedokrie for beta'ing,,,the first draft lmaooo surprisee...its totally different lol

“Are you serious?” you mutter, standing knee-high in a mud puddle. When you decided to move out of the city and stay with an elderly man as a home nurse on his farm temporarily, you expected to get dirty. But not like this, and not that soon. The wagon was only able to take you so far before you had to walk the rest of the way since it was technically private property or whatever the guy said. You didn’t quite remember his reasoning, and it wouldn’t have been such a big deal if it hadn’t started pouring about five minutes after you started walking. Now you’re cold and wet, and mud is everywhere.

With a frustrated groan, you try and take another step, wincing at the feeling of the mud squelching in your shoes and soaking your socks through. You’re having regrets, but you’re sure the ailing older man is having worse issues than wet socks and shoes and you power through. After a long and gruelling walk, you finally see the cream building and connected barn and you sigh in relief.

“Oh, man, you look a mess,” a voice is heard from behind you and you shriek, dropping down to the ground and clutching at your heart. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. YN, right?”

You nod miserably. “Yeah. This is Aria farm?” You punctuate it with a sniff as you try to regain your dignity.

The man laughs, much more high-pitched than you expected. “Yup. I’m the farmhand, San.” He holds out his hand. “Need a hand up?”

With a shaky smile, you nod, grabbing his hand and letting him pull you up. His grip is strong, warm, and calloused, and you shoo away any unwanted thoughts. “Got caught in the rain?” San smiles apologetically like he was the one who brought the showers down upon you.

“Yeah, I sure did.” You return the smile with a weak one of your own. “Got dumped at the end of the road by the wagon, and not five minutes later I got poured on.”

San winces. “Oh, well, sorry that had to be your first welcome here. I’ll give that guy a talk later—he means no harm, just likes to play pranks.”

You grunt, not caring all that much about the villagers in the town, pranks or not. You have no doubt that the wagoneer meant no harm, nor that the villagers aren’t nice, but most of your days will be spent cooped up with the old farmer in his house. Plus, you decided to move away from the city to get away from people and let your introversion take over.

It takes a moment for you to realise he’s expecting you to keep up a conversation. “How is Mr Takeru doing?”

San shrugs, his eyes continuously flickering back to you. “He’s doing fairly well, all things considered. The fall left him physically incapable of a lot, but his energy hasn’t dwindled at all.” There’s a fondness in his voice. “He’s happy to hear you’ll be coming. He loves having people around and his kids barely visit. To no fault of their own, of course. They’re all on different islands, farming as well and it’s hard to get away.”

You hum. You’ve heard of their family situation, how Takeru’s kids all followed in his footsteps to become farmers, and that their children also went on to become farmers. It’s interesting, and you sometimes wonder if it’s something they all wanted. “It’ll be nice for him to have someone around,” you tell an attentive San. “It would’ve been great for him if some of his family could see him, but I’m sure he’s excited anyway.”

As you talk to San, you don’t realise how quickly the two of you walk until you are already at the house’s porch. San opens the door, stepping in, but you hesitate for just a moment. You almost turn tail if it wasn’t for the warm smile San offers.

“Don’t worry, I promise Mr Takeru is super nice. And I’ll always be happy to keep you company.” His eyes crinkle as his smile widens even further, and you can’t help but feel your face warm at how sweet he is.

“I’ll have to hold you to that, then.”

-

“Are you going to the flower festival tomorrow?” San catches you right when you go out to grab the mail.

You tilt your head as you flip through the many letters. Nothing of too much importance, just a couple of notices from the local stores. You see a letter from one of Mr Takeru’s kids and you smile at the sight of it before realising you hadn’t responded to San. “The what?”

“Flower festival,” San repeats himself, a smile growing on his face. It always seems to be there when you see the farmhand. “It’s a holiday where couples enjoy the cherry blossoms together and all.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “San, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not quite part of the couples demographic.” The farmhand’s eyes sparkle at your joke, but his gaze does not waver.

“You could go with me,” he suggests and you choke on the spot. “I’m being serious! It’s a really nice time and it’d be a shame if you missed it.”

You sigh, glancing behind you. “We’ll see. I might be busy tomorrow.”

San still smiles triumphantly at your answer. “If you do decide to come, I’ll meet you at the church grounds at seven.” And before you can even respond, he winks and walks away, making sure to flex his back muscles. If you can’t rip your eyes away, that's your own problem.

As the clock ticks closer and closer to six, you get more and more antsy. You’re still debating whether to go. One part of you wants to go so he won’t wait in vain, but the other part of you wants to avoid all sorts of contact with people. Every time you go and buy groceries for Mr Takeru, the villagers all stop to stare at you. And you know it’s partly your fault for never trying to get to know them, but you really would rather stay a hermit.

But San, he was different. Although you’ve only been here for a few weeks, San seems to have taken an interest in you. He’s always finding an excuse to talk to you, be it lunch break or asking to pass a message to Mr Takeru. You’re not quite sure what his motive is, but you’re not complaining. He’s good-looking, kind, and makes an effort to get to know you. Perhaps you should return the kindness.

When the clock strikes half past six, you know it’s the last moment before you can make your decision. After a moment’s hesitation, you call up the stairs “Mr Takeru, I’ll be going out! Do you have everything you need?”

You can hear the smile in his voice as he responds, “Mmh, I’ve got my cane so I’m all good. Going to the festival, I see?”

“Bye, Mr Takeru” You roll your eyes good-naturedly even if he can’t see it, grabbing your bag and practically launching yourself out the door. If you run, you’ll make it just in time.

You’re sure you look crazy, running down the streets while attempting to pull your hair away from your face to no avail, but time is of the essence. You manage to smile at the villagers who wave at you, but you’re panting hard and you think your legs might fall off as you take the church steps three at a time.

As you catch your breath, you can see San out of the corner of your eye approaching with the biggest smile you’ve seen on his face. “You came!”

You open your mouth to respond but all that comes out is a hack from the lack of air in your lungs. San laughs, reaching over to pat you on the back as you take a moment to catch your breath. “My gosh, I am not cut out for running,” you gasp, finally straightening up and brushing your hair out of your face.

San’s hands slow as he shifts them lower to rest at the small of your back. “Well, I’m glad you made it anyway. Come sit with me and my friends. They’ll be happy to see you came.”

Without giving you a moment to protest, San sweeps you away towards the back corner of the courtyard. The two people sitting on a blanket you recognise—the farmer you buy your groceries from and the bartender who walks past Mr Takeru’s farm on the way to work in the afternoon, and neither of their names you ever got.

“Guys, this is YN,” San introduces you and you give a little wave as they chorus your name with ‘hi’s. “This is Wooyoung, and that’s Yunho.” He points to the bartender and the farmer respectively.

“Good to finally get your name,” Yunho smiles at you, a bright smile lighting up his face. “You’ve been shopping with me for what, two weeks now?”

You laugh awkwardly. “Yeah, just about.” You silently beg for the topic to change because San is sensitive about how you buy groceries elsewhere since a storm destroyed most of the farm’s crops. “What does one do at the flower festival?”

Wooyoung and Yunho exchange a glance between each other, their eyes soft. “Generally couples sit together and watch the flowers fall and talk about each other. At the end, you pick up a blossom and blow it after making a wish,” Yunho explains, the corner of his lips pulling up as Wooyoung leans into his body. “I’m here with Wooyoung.”

He immediately realises this is not the best thing to say as your face heats up and your brain immediately goes into overdrive. “You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to go, of course!” San immediately rectifies, his hands shooting out to smack Yunho in the shoulder. “I always go with friends.”

A smile pulls at your lips even though you’re still a little awkward at the revelation. “Well, thank you for inviting me anyway,” you bow slightly. “It’s nice to get a little scenery difference.”

Wooyoung laughs at that. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen you away from the farm since you arrived, barring your visits to Marimba and Horn Ranches.” You duck your head shyly and San swoops to your rescue.

“Not that you’re any better, Wooyoung. All you do is work and go home to sleep,” San teases. “Except when Yunho makes you go outside, of course.”

Both Wooyoung and Yunho immediately blush red and you laugh at the sight. “You two are cute together though,” you compliment. “Hopefully one day I can have a relationship like yours.” You miss the soft gaze sent your way by San, but neither Wooyoung nor Yunho do and they exchange a look before smiling back at you.

“I’m sure you will one day.”

-

It’s pouring buckets out there and even San has taken the day off. There’s nothing to do on the farm other than feed the animals, and the day before San had put extra food in their buckets for that occasion exactly. Mr Takeru is fast asleep and all you’re doing is sitting in the living room and trying to focus on reading. But it’s not coming to you.

With a sigh, you put your book back down and move to stand near the window, staring at the bleary landscape. That’s when you see it. A little glimmer of light right by the bending tomato plants. You narrow your eyes, unsure if your eyes are playing tricks on you, but then it happens again. Now you’re sure something is out there, and against your better judgement, you’re going to find out what it is.

With another glance towards Mr Takeru, who doesn’t seem to be waking up anytime soon, you pull on a raincoat and open the front door. The wind almost slams it shut but you catch it just in time, slipping out of the house and closing it gently instead.

The wind is practically bullying you as you make your way slowly over to the garden. When you finally reach the plants, you squint but can’t seem to find anything, but you swear you saw something. Your eyes dart around to see if you can find it again, and another sparkle catches your eye further down the road.

You cast a glance back at the house, inner debate raging in you. But at heart, you’re forever a toddler and you go chase after the pretty lights.

The farther you go, the more you’re starting to regret your choices. But you’re too far to find your way back—although you’ve been here for almost a month now, you’re not all that well-versed in where things are around this island. Yet another point into why you should’ve just stayed at the farm.

With a groan, you take another step closer, making your way through a tunnel of trees. The rain only seems to get heavier but you can still see the faint sparkling but not much around it and you step closer.

Suddenly, the rain melts away to reveal a little grove and a giant tree standing tall and proud. The only thing that tells you were just in the rain is the fact that you’re soaking wet. You blink, step back, and the rain falls around you again. Another step forward, and the sun is shining again.

You rub your eyes, sure you must be going crazy. But the sunny area is still in front of your eyes. As much as your brain is screaming at you to turn back and make your way home, your curiosity gets the better of you. You take a few steps closer, marvelling at the old spring on either side of the stone pathway you’re on.

You’ve heard of the stories of the fae and magic surrounding this island, mostly from Mr Takeru himself, but you always chalked it up to him being old, as much as you thought it would be nice for it to be real. And here you are, standing in the middle of what can only be called magic surrounding you.

The area looks almost unoccupied, with more of the sparkles that drew you out of the house in the first place flitting around. You take a couple of steps closer when someone steps out from behind the tree. “What are you doing here?” You don’t recognise the figure standing in front of you, with perfectly coiffed hair and a frown upon his pouting lips.

You blink at him. “Uh, I was taking a walk and ended up here. What is this place?”

The blonde man blinks at you. “You don’t know? It’s the Goddess Spring, home of the tree that powers our island. Though…I guess you are new here.”

You frown, cocking your head. “Sorry if I seem rude, but I don’t think I’ve met you. Who are you?”

The stranger’s piercing blue eyes widen and he laughs, waving his hands. “Oh my, I can’t believe I forgot my manners. I’m Park Seonghwa, son of the mayor of this little island. My father speaks highly of you and how well you care for Mr Takeru.”

His hand is firm and warm although his palms are softer than San’s. “Nice to meet you, Seonghwa,” you smile at him warmly. “Your father speaks proudly of you as well.”

You can’t believe you haven’t made the connection. Seonghwa isn’t the spitting image of his father per se, but they look similar enough to each other, especially in their eyes. Mayor Gil and Seonghwa both have the same stare.

The young man smiles again, shaking his head. “My father can be passionate. Now that he’s older, he tells me he has less grievances against the world. But I am curious—what are you doing here? It’s still pouring out there.”

You shrug, a little embarrassed. “I was just following some…uh…sparkles.”

“Sparkles? Nothing else?” Seonghwa’s facial expression shifts to one of curiosity. Your eyebrows furrow at his intensity and his features soften as he chuckles. “Ah, I don’t mean to alarm you. This island has a rich history behind this little grove. Are you busy?”

You shrug, glancing behind you. “No, not really. I’m not really in the mood to walk all the way back to the farm in the rain. I’m a big history fan anyway.”

Seonghwa shrugs, gesturing to the stone bench up further on the stone pathway. “Come and sit then. The story starts with this tree.”

To be honest, you don’t understand much of what Seonghwa explains. Something about bells and trees powering the island, and how only the line of mayors and Mr Takeru’s family can see the magic. But Seonghwa seems so passionate about it, and you have no reason to disbelieve it, not when you’ve witnessed the grove itself, so you just smile and nod and do your best to comprehend.

Seonghwa is finishing up his story of how Mr Takeru single-handedly revived the island when he takes a glance at his watch and gasps. “I’ve kept you far too long,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I’m sure the rain has stopped, you should make your way back to the farm before it gets dark.”

Your brows furrow, glancing up to see the sun getting close to the west. “Oh, crap,” you gasp, “I need to start dinner. Do…do you happen to know the way back to the farm? I didn’t quite see how I got here.”

Seonghwa chuckles. “Yes, you can just take a left out here and follow the path down the mountain. It should lead you to the pond right by Aria Farm. I’ll see you around town, then.”

You nod, promising him to try and find time to visit him in town before booking your way out of the grove. He was right, the rain had slowed to a drizzle that hardly bothered you. You’re making your way down the mountain, rushing so much you can hardly enjoy the view you missed on your way up.

As soon as the blue roof of the farmhouse comes into vision, you can’t help but smile to yourself at the familiar sight. Your little adventure was fun but now it’s time to go back. As you unlock the door and swing it open, your vision is immediately blocked by a firm, warm chest and strong arms wrapping around you in a tight hug. “YN, where were you?”

San’s worried voice reaches your ears and your initial shock wears off as you tilt your head back to look at him. “I went on a walk and found some grove near the mountains,” you explain honestly, and San’s eyebrows raise into his bangs.

“A walk? YN, are you insane? I came around to make sure you both were okay and Mr Takeru told me he didn’t know where you had gone. It was a crazy storm out there too. You have to be careful, YN. I– you could’ve gotten hurt.”

San’s arms tighten around your shoulders and your face heats up as you pat his back awkwardly. “Well, I agree it was pretty stupid of me, but I’m fine and here! I won’t do it again, I promise,” you try and cheer him up while also doing your best to wriggle out of his grip. It’s embarrassing for you to be so close, you’re sure he can feel the heat radiating off of your ears. He’s too hot for you to be this close to and you need some space before you combust.

You finally manage to untangle yourself, offering a smile to ease the distance between the two. “How long were you waiting for me, anyway?”

San sighs, running a hand through his dark locks. “Maybe just about three hours? I think I was about ten minutes away from going out to look for you myself. I mean, the rain only stopped an hour ago, it’s understandable I was worried.”

He’s trying to convince himself more so than you, but you can’t really blame him. You would’ve been the same way in his shoes. You try not to think about what would happen if he had suddenly disappeared in the rain. “No, I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you,” you shake your head, glancing away in guilt. “I just thought something was out there and went on a wild goose chase. Turns out it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. But in the grove I went to, I finally met the mayor’s son.”

San’s expression shifts to one of understanding. “Seonghwa? He’s nice, I’m glad you’ve met him.” He finally smiles back, softly, but shakes his head as if remembering where he is. “Er, I suppose I should let you go have dinner now. You must be hungry.”

He slips out of the door before you can even respond, the thought of inviting him for dinner only popping into your head as he’s already halfway down to the river, his form glowing gold in the sunset. You poke your head out to call for him, but your nerves get the better of you and you just watch him grow smaller and smaller in the distance.

“You should go for it.” A hoarse voice interrupts your swirling thoughts and you turn back to see Mr Takeru leaning on his cane and smiling kindly at you. “You’re young, and pretty. Anyone can see clear as day that San likes you. You know, he was quite worried when you were out.”

You swear there is steam radiating off of your face. “Ah, Mr Takeru, don’t get my hopes up,” you laugh. “There’s no way San sees me as much more than a friend. Now, let’s get dinner started, no?”

Mr Takeru just sighs, a melancholy smile on his face. “You should run right after him before it’s too late, you know. But yes, let’s have dinner YN.”

-

You stand in front of the door of the mayor’s house, debating whether to walk in or not. When you received an invitation for lunch from Seonghwa earlier this morning, he had assured you that you could walk right in without knocking, but you felt a little too awkward to do that.

“What are you doing here?” A sharp voice startles you and you jump, looking over your shoulder guiltily. A silver-haired man with sharp eyes and thick robes gazes at you with an uninterested expression on his face.

“Ah– Seonghwa invited me for lunch here,” you explain, glancing back at the door.

Before you can say anything, the strange, eccentric man brushes past you, the many bracelets and necklaces he has on jingling. “Well, then. He’s up to one of his schemes to get me to socialise again. He invited me for lunch too. Come on in.”

He swings the door open, stepping inside the house and you stare at him with wide eyes before scurrying after him. The outside of the house is filled with flowers lining the stepping stones, but the inside of the house is more mature in decor, with dark oak tables and brown wallpaper. The stranger glances at you, having noticed your eyes wandering the decor and he laughs shortly. “Quite the juxtaposition of interior and exterior, no? Mayor Gil’s late mother had designed the inside and so the mayor hasn’t had the heart to change it.”

You’re about to respond when one of the doors to your right slams open, revealing Seonghwa standing there with messy hair and a sullen look on his face. “Sorry, I’m going to have to cancel lunch. My father has fallen ill with cow fever. YN, I’m so sorry to have to turn you away but I don’t want you to catch it, or Mr Takeru for that matter.” He heaves a sigh, then turns to the stranger. “Hongjoong, could you do me a favour and bring me some medicine?”

The man—Hongjoong—nods sharply and spins on his heel, striding out the door without a moment’s hesitation. You falter just a moment, shooting Seonghwa a quick smile and ‘hope your father feels better soon’ before following Hongjoong’s steps out the door.

On your way home, you can’t help but wonder…what on earth is cow fever? You’ve never heard of such a thing. You’re too lost in thought you almost don’t see San waving at you from afar. “Ah, hey San!” you greet him with a quick wave and a smile. “Did you have lunch yet?”

A shrug is your answer and you laugh at San’s nonchalance. “Nah, I was just about to head out for some, though. How was your lunch?”

You shake your head. “It had to be cancelled. Mayor Gil came down with the cow fever, so we decided to reschedule.”

A pout forms on San’s face. “Well, I hope he gets better. Cow fever is no joke. But hey, since you didn’t have lunch, would you like to join me?”

Although it would mean you’d have to walk back to town, you can’t say ‘no’ to the smile on San’s face. “Sure, I’d be happy to,” you grin. “Inn? Do you want to get sandwiches and eat on the dock?”

The smile on San’s face widens. “It’s almost like you’re reading my mind. Let’s eat on the dock.”

Without another word, he hooks his arm around yours and pulls you in the direction of the barn. “Ah– San, the town is the other way, you know.”

San laughs again, loud and bright. “Yeah, I know. We’ll take Emma.”

It takes a moment to register. “The cow? San, are you crazy?” you gasp, but there’s still a giggle present in your tone. “First, we have a horse. Second, I don’t even know how to ride a horse, much less a cow!”

“That doesn’t matter,” San grins impossibly wider, his dimples deep. “Emma’s sweet, she’s an easier ride than Princess. Plus, I want Princess to have some more bonding time with her foal. Come on, I promise it’ll be fun.”

You groan good-naturedly but can’t keep the smile off your face as the two of you approach the well-mannered cow. “Fine,” you agree. “How do I get on?”

Instead of answering your question like a normal human being, San places his hands on your waist. For a moment, you’re lost in his firm grip, but it doesn’t last long as he lifts you and places you on Emma’s back, a shriek emitting from your mouth. “San!” you laugh, looking down to see San’s eyes crinkling as he chuckles and pats your thigh. “Warn me next time!”

“So there’ll be a next time?”

“You’re focusing on the wrong thing,” you scold lightly, turning away so he won’t see your flushing cheeks. “Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.”

You can hear San laugh to himself one more time before hopping up behind you and wrapping an arm around your waist. Immediately, your mind is taken back to that rainy day almost a month ago when he hugged you and your cheeks burn even more. “Hold on tight,” San hums, leaning forward till his lips are right by your ear.

And once again, he doesn’t give you time to mentally prepare before Emma runs down the path towards the town. You’re terrified, hands gripping so tightly on San’s that you’re sure your nails will leave indents. But somehow, you’re enjoying yourself taking a wild ride on a cow of all things. Maybe it helps that San’s body is pressed against yours and you can feel the heat radiating off him.

You’re practically in a daze when you reach the town, San lifting you off Emma much more gently than when he put you on her. “You good?” he asks, and you snort, shaking your head fondly.

“God, I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe you made me do that. But yes, I’m good. More than good, even. That was fun.” You chuckle mostly to yourself, brushing your hair out of your eyes. “Come on, let’s eat.”

It’s your turn to grab San’s warm hand and pull him in the direction of the inn, the little bell tinkling as you step inside. Mai smiles at the two of you, waving you both over to her station. “Hello, you two. Looking for some lunch this fine morning?”

“Yep,” San leans on the counter with his elbow, ignoring the glare the head chef, Chihaya, sends him. Mai hides her smile extremely badly. “Could I get the tuna sandwich? And whatever YN’s getting.”

Your head snaps towards him. “Oh, no, no, San, don’t worry about it. I can pay for my own,” you decline as quickly as you can, but he raises an eyebrow in response.

“It’s my treat, YN. Don’t fight me on this, I’ll win. I invited you out, so it’s only right I pay.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “But–”

“No buts, okay? Don’t worry, I’m perfectly capable of paying for the both of us. Let me do this, YN. Just order, okay?” San holds up a hand, and you know he’s won.

With a sigh, you concede. “Fine. But next time, I’ll pay, and no buts.” San raises his hands in defeat. Satisfied, you turn back to Mai. “Could I get an egg sandwich?”

Mai chuckles, writing down your order in her little notebook. “It’s cute to see you two together. Poor San has been lonely for a long time.”

“We’re not dating,” you quickly correct her, face heating up in embarrassment.

“And I’m not lonely!” San interjects, pout on his face, and his cuteness in that moment makes you forget how awkward you were about Mai’s statement.

“Okay,” Mai chirps, clearly disbelieving the two of you, but before you can refute any longer, Chihaya stalks over, handing the two of you nicely wrapped sandwiches.

“Mai, stop bothering them. You two, go eat. See you later,” he shuts down the conversation, waving the two of you away.

Both San and you exchange a look before quickly leaving the inn, Mai’s sweet giggles trailing behind the two of you until the door shuts behind you. “Well then. Dock?”

You snort, nodding. “Dock.”

You skip your way through town to the dock, empty aside from the local fisherman about to head inside for his own lunch break. The wind isn’t too harsh today, something you appreciate so that the sea’s waves don’t get close to your feet. Neither you nor San feel the need to talk as you work through your lunches, the food delicious enough to keep your mouths occupied.

You finish your sandwich much earlier than San, leaning back on your arms as you sneak a peek at his side profile while he continues to eat, unaware. Something about his focused gaze on his sandwich seems to draw your gaze. As you wait, you can’t help but think back to Mai’s words, unable to keep your mind from daydreaming about Choi San.

Ever since that fateful day in the rain, the hug he had given you keeps popping up in your mind at the most inopportune times…like right now. You can already feel heat rising to your face once again and you quickly focus your eyes on the horizon to do your best to rid yourself of such thoughts.

You can’t afford to like San, not like that. Not when you have no idea what you’re going to do after this job, or even where you’ll go. This little island feels more like home than the big city did, but you don’t know where your life could fit in here. Not when it feels like everyone already has their place in the town.

“What are you thinking about?” You blink yourself back to reality, where San has finished his sandwich and is looking at you with such a fond look in his eyes. “You look lost in your head.”

You shrug, bringing your legs up to your chest and resting your chin on your knees. “I don’t know…” you murmur, a melancholy smile playing on your lips. “Just the future, I guess. What I’ll do later.”

San hums, his hand coming to rest close to your own, and you push back thoughts of grasping his worn, warm palm. “I get it. Before I started working for Mr Takeru, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do either. I bounced from ranch to ranch, even started over at Marimba Farm for a time until Mr Takeru offered me a job.”

“Is that where you met Yunho?”

At your question, San chuckles. “Yeah. He hired me at Marimba when it was first starting out, then recommended me to Mr Takeru after he was able to manage it with the help of Wooyoung. Yunho is one of my oldest friends here.”

“It must be nice to have that close of a friend,” you state, more to yourself than anything, but San hears you anyway, his brows furrowing with light concern. “Say…who’s Hongjoong? I met him briefly at Seonghwa’s before I had to go home. I’ve never seen him around before.”

San hums, tilting his head so he can look into your eyes more clearly. You fight to keep the blush of your cheeks. “Hongjoong runs the clinic, and does fortune telling on the side. He’s descended from a long line of wizards, and his paternal family has run the clinic for a very long time. Why?”

You shrug. “I heard something about him getting medicine for Mayor Gil. Thought it might be interesting to talk to him about the island’s medical practices. Since I’m a nurse and all.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Maybe I’m a little curious too. He dresses nothing like the other islanders.”

San chuckles alongside you. “His robes are the traditional wear for the wizards of this island. He does quite enjoy talking about the history behind them, so you should ask him about it some time. Any other trivia I can answer for you?”

His tone is light, teasing, and you snort and shove at his shoulder. “Shut up, can’t a girl be curious? I get it, you don’t like me.”

“You and I both know that’s the furthest thing from true.” San shakes his head, and you freeze, aware of what he’s implying.

“San–” You’re unsure of what to say. “I’m–”

“You don’t have to say anything,” San laughs, leaning in to tap his forehead against yours. “Not right now, at least. I’ll give you time to think about it. Now come on, let’s get back to the farm.”

Before you can blink, he’s already on his feet and holding out a hand to help you stand. After a moment's hesitation, you reach out as well, placing your hand in his. As he pulls you up, he leans forward to press his lips against the side of your head and you duck your head, heat rushing to your face.

The walk home is silent, but not uncomfortably so. Instead of riding Emma back, San lets her amble along the path on her own. You walk side by side, fingertips not quite brushing, stealing glances at each other and soft smiles. Maybe it's because he finally put words to what the two of you have, but you can’t help but wonder exactly why both of you are suddenly so open with how much you care for each other.

As he walks you to the front door of the farmhouse, he clears his throat, obviously wanting to say something. You turn to him expectantly, taking note of the nervousness in his eyes. “YN…” he mumbles, a far cry from the confident man he was on the dock. “No matter how you end up feeling, please don’t leave the island because of it. Everyone here likes you, even though you don’t really know them well. And Mr Takeru is terribly fond of you. Don’t let me influence your life too much, okay?”

You sigh, body visibly relaxing. “Of course not, San. I’ve grown to love it here. I don’t think even you can keep me away.”

San chuckles at your feeble attempt at a joke, out of pity, you think. “Okay, okay. Have a good day, YN.”

You close the door behind you, smiling to yourself subconsciously. “Miss YN, is that you?” Mr Takeru calls out, and you shake your head, willing your brain to clear up before quickly making your way to your employer.

“I’m here, Mr Takeru!”

-

You awkwardly stand at the bar, waiting for Wooyoung to finish up with a customer. The bar is the last place you would usually be, but you’re at a loss. San’s words have been replaying in your head since that fateful day on the dock, and you haven't spoken to him since. Not that he’s bothered by it. True to his word, San had been giving you space, only exchanging soft, sweet, ‘good morning’s and gentle smiles.

As each day passed, you knew what your answer would be, but then a letter arrived today from your agency back home. A reminder your contract was almost up. You knew you had to make a decision, fast.

“All right, what’s going on in your head, missy?” Wooyoung’s voice breaks you out of your swirling thoughts. “You look like you’re about to be sick, and I don’t want to have to take you to the doctor’s.”

You open your mouth, close it again, and then reopen. “Wooyoung, do you know if the clinic has any job openings?”

Wooyoung furrows his brow, frowning. “Well, you’ve picked the worst person to ask this question to. I’ve never gone to the clinic before, and Hongjoong never comes in here. But they might. Hongjoong’s grandfather recently retired, so as Mr Van takes his role, there might be a job opening soon. I think Mao was thinking about volunteering there, though. You’d have to talk to Hongjoong about it. Why?”

You hesitate, eyes moving from side to side. No one is close enough to hear you over the music. “Did San talk to you at all in the past week?”

Understanding dawns in Wooyoung’s eyes. “Ah. He told us what happened, but let me hear what you think of it. All our regulars are here already so I won't have to make any more drinks for a while.”

A sigh makes its way out of your throat. “My contract with Mr Takeru is ending soon. The easy answer is to renew, but what about after that? I don’t know where I could work, other than the hospital, and if Mao wants to work there, I don’t want to take that opportunity away from him.”

Wooyoung laughs. “I said he would volunteer, not work. He’s the fisherman’s son, the sea is in his blood. But even if you don’t work at the clinic, San would probably be happy to support you until you find something.”

You shake your head tiredly. “But I don’t want him to. He already works so hard, and I don’t want to make him feel obligated to help me, not when I’m capable of supporting myself and it’s just me overthinking.”

There’s a pause, and then Wooyoung dissolves into laughter. “YN, he would be helping you because he wants to. Hell, any of us would be willing to help you. Yunho could use someone to help him on his own farm, I’m sure Seonghwa would like to have a secretary, hell, I could use you as a server. You’re worrying too much about it. Things will work out if you want them to.”

You wince. “I know, I know. I just worry, you know.”

“Well, don’t,” Wooyoung teases. “Just talk to San. He’ll understand.”

“As always, your advice is impeccable,” you smile. “Thanks, Wooyoung, really.”

“It’s what I do,” Wooyoung winks, sliding a glass over. “Have a drink before you go, okay? I’m not getting paid to gossip, you know.”

You squint at him. “Don’t you own this bar?” All Wooyoung does is smile knowingly and nod towards the cup of…something. You take a tentative sip, and then another, and then it hits. The sweet but tangy flavour with a hint of bitterness from the alcohol. “Oh, this is good! What is it?”

“Raspberry cocktail,” he answers, way too proud of his creation. “I perfected the recipe today, as well as a few others. You should try those ones too.”

You laugh, downing the rest of your drink. “Sure, sure, go ahead. I’m almost never here anyway.”

Wooyoung practically vibrates in excitement, moving around the kitchen in a dash to prepare your next drink. You’re on your third drink and too busy laughing at Wooyoung’s antics to notice the presence behind you. When Wooyoung slides you your next drink, you ask, “Which one is this?”

“This one is your last drink,” a firm voice speaks up and you snap your head around, startled, to come face to face with San. “You still have work tomorrow, YN, you can't get too drunk.”

“Hey, Sanah,” you beam up at him, unbothered by his close proximity. You blame it on the alcohol. His eyes soften as he looks down at you, a smile tugging at his lips. “I was just talking about you!”

“Oh, were you?” San leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. “All good, I hope. Come on, finish your drink and let’s get you home.”

Without much further prompting, you down the rest of your drink and wave at Wooyoung, who is watching the two of you with an amused expression plastered on his face. “Bye, now,” he sing-songs, “get home safe.”

San rolls his eyes good naturedly, nodding at Wooyoung and sliding some money over to pay for your few drinks. “Have a good night, Youngah.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders, helping you stand and pulling you out of the inn. “What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

You hum, turning your head to press your face into his shoulder. “I dunno,” you mumble into him, breathing in the smell of his soap. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do if I end up out of a job. You’re too perfect, I can’t drag you down.” You don’t mean to say all this, but the alcohol is still coursing through your system and the courage still sits in your stomach.

San intakes a sharp breath. “What do you mean by that?”

You shrug. “You have a job, a life here. I’m here temporarily. When my contract ends next month, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to go back to the city and leave you here, but I don’t have any idea what I’m supposed to do here.”

San sighs, letting his head sit atop yours, his cheek pressed against your hair. “Well, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. I wouldn’t mind if you went back to the city if you visited. I wouldn’t mind if you stayed with me until you get back on your feet if you decide to end your contract. Hell, I’m sure Mr Takeru would be happy to employ you on his own dime, or someone else in town would take you on. But I’m glad you came to me, okay? I want to help you.”

You can feel your eyes stinging, and you curse yourself for drinking so much that it makes you too emotional for your liking. “Okay,” you concede with a soft voice. “Thank you, San.”

He presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “Of course, YN,” he smiles, and although you can’t see it, you hear it in his voice. “Now let’s talk later, okay? You need to go to bed.”

“Later sounds good,” you sigh, letting your body weight lean even more against San’s broad shoulders. “See you later.”

“Not right now,” San chuckles. “We’re almost home, come on. As much as it’s safe on the island, it’s chilly tonight, and I think you’d probably prefer sleeping in a bed.”

“Hmm, bed,” you repeat, yawning. “I like the idea.”

“I’m sure you do.”

The rest of the night is mostly calm, save for San convincing you to go to the bathroom to change, and not undressing in front of him. As he helps you brush your hair as you sit on your bed, you can’t help but to reach up and put your hands on his waist.

“You know, I really like you,” you mumble. The alcohol has almost faded, but the tiredness has hit and you’re just as loopy as if you were still drunk. “I hope you know that.”

San chuckles, his hands slowing to a stop in your hair. “I do, YN. I do.” He leans down, pressing another kiss to the top of your head. “Get some rest, okay? I’ll see you in the morning.”

He turns to leave, but not until you grab his wrist. “Wait! What about here?” you pout, pointing to your lips, and San arches an eyebrow, a smile toying at the corners of his lips and a laugh threatening to escape.

“Maybe tomorrow, if you ask me, okay? Good night, YN.” And with that, he leaves you to sleep, a smile plastered onto your face as you dream of his touch.

When you reawaken, you feel fully rested, yawning as you slip out of bed quickly and easily. A quick glance at your clock tells you it’s almost noon and you curse yourself for drinking so heavily. You’re never letting Wooyoung talk you into such a thing again.

As you make your way out of your room, you find Mr Takeru sitting on the couch. “Miss YN, come sit with me, okay? I want to talk to you.”

You pause, heart freezing. “Ah– sure, Mr Takeru. Nothing bad, I hope.”

The older man chuckles, waving his hand. “Of course not. This is something both Wooyoung and San have come to me about.”

You blink. “Ah.” You’re going to kill Wooyoung, and think about killing San (You’re too attached to him to follow though).

Mr Takeru laughs again. “I said it wasn’t bad, child, don’t look like you’re about to faint, please. San had expressed his affection for you to me, and Wooyoung has talked about how, in his words, ‘both of them are dumb as rocks and won’t date yet’. I’m quite aware that your contract with me is ending soon.” He pauses to take in a breath. “I would like to offer you a job with me off contract. That means you won’t be with your agency anymore.”

You blink at him. “I…I’m sorry, it’s a lovely offer, and I’m quite inclined to take it, but can I ask why? I mean, it would be cheaper for you to hire from the agency, and I’m sure I could figure something else out.”

“Miss YN, I’m sure you’re well aware I am not in much need of money. San runs the farm beautifully, and even though he is paid generously, the earnings far exceed what I need. And, as I have talked to Mayor Gil, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, the clinic is happy to contract you so that in the case that I no longer require your services, you may work with them.”

You blink at him, your lower lip quivering. It takes you a moment to compose yourself, and Mr Takeru waits patiently. “The offer is so generous, and I would be a fool to decline it. I really do appreciate it, Mr Takeru.”

Your boss smiles. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Think of it as a favour to San as well. He’s worked for me for so long, he’s like one of my own grandchildren.” He pauses, letting out a yawn. “Now, go find him and tell him the good news, okay? I’d like to take a long nap.”

With a moment to compose yourself, you stand from the couch. “Thank you again, Mr Takeru,” you repeat sincerely. “I’ll prep lunch and put it in the fridge for when you wake up, okay?”

He waves you away, already getting ready to lay down on the couch. “Don’t worry about it. Mayor Gil is coming around to have lunch with me, and he’ll bring me something from the inn.” With another yawn, you know your conversation is over, and you spin on your heel and race out of the house, only one thing on your mind.

“San, are you in here?” you call out as you reach the ajar barn doors. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll be right down, just filling up the dispenser.” You can hear San’s voice from the loft and you look up, squinting through the sunrays filtering through the holes in the roof. The carpenters have been working on fixing that before the next rain.

Your gaze is drawn away by San climbing down the ladder, an extra bale of hay perched on his shoulders. As he turns around and you catch a glimpse of his face, your breath catches in your throat.

There wasn't ever a time where you thought sweat and grime on a person could be attractive…at least until right at this very moment. Sweat is glistening on his face, dripping off his cheekbones and chin, and all you can think about is swiping your tongue over his lips to taste it. The sight of it only serves to remind you of your drunken request to San, and his one condition that you ask him about it the next day.

“YN? Is there something you wanted to ask me?”

You blink up at him, eyes wide. “Can I get my kiss now?”

That was not what was supposed to come out of your mouth, but it’s too late to rectify it, so you’re left looking up at a dumbfounded San. The silence goes on for just a tad too long and you’re too embarrassed to face him now, so you turn on your heel and start to exit the barn, hopefully to drown your sorrows and yourself in the hot spring.

Before you can even step foot onto the threshold, however, San grabs your arm and gently tugs you into his warm chest. “Now wait just a moment,” he hums, chest vibrating against your back. His smell fills your mind and you tilt your gaze up to see him looking right back at you with such warmth in his eyes. “I didn’t give you your kiss yet.”

“Oh–” is all you manage to squeak out before San’s lips are on yours and you immediately melt into the kiss. His arm pulls you even closer against his body, his lips soft and inviting. “San–”

He doesn’t give you a moment to speak, his mouth capturing every sound escaping past your lips. You can feel every breath against your lips, his tongue pressing against the seam of your lips. Slowly, you part your lips for him and he wastes no time to map out your mouth, taking the air out of your lungs at how desperately he kisses.

As you fall deeper into his embrace, your arms come to loop around his waist, resting by his hips as your hands grip onto his shirt. His own hands roam up and down your sides, gripping at your waist and keeping you pulled against him. One of them finds its way to your face, cupping it with a gentleness that rivals the roughness of his mouth.

You could stay here like this for hours, but your lungs disagree, and after they scream at you for some air, you finally pull away, gasping softly as you lean your forehead against San’s. “San,” you call his name again, although this time your words aren’t interrupted by his lips but your lack of air. You take in one more breath, San waiting patiently as he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky yourself. “San, I like you. And I’m sure I’m just stating the obvious, but again, I do. I want to stay here with you, and just this morning Mr Takeru has offered me a personal contract with him. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”

San laughs, his hand on your waist moving up to stroke your cheek. “I know, YN. I asked Mr Takeru to make you the offer. Or, to be more precise, I implied that he should make you the offer, and I did that because Wooyoung implied to me to do that.” He tilts his head to press a short and sweet kiss to your lips again, chuckling to himself at how you follow his lips when he pulls back.

“Of course he did,” you roll your eyes good-naturedly, nodding as you lean up on your tiptoes to try and steal another kiss. “Nothing will ever be kept secret with his big mouth. Can we go back to kissing now? It’s easier.”

You can practically see the eagerness shine to San’s eyes. Instead of an answer, he tilts his head down to meet your waiting lips. This time, though, your makeout session is sadly cut short.

“So you two are finally together?”

You’re not too embarrassed to admit you shrieked, jumping out of your skin and burying your face in San’s chest. You can hear both San and Seonghwa chuckle, San’s arm tightening around your body. “Thanks to you, Seonghwa,” San hums. “We both really appreciate your role in this.”

“It’s no problem whatsoever. And as surly as Hongjoong can be, he’s happy to have someone else on board. But I’ll let you two get back to…talking. I was just passing through to have lunch with the jeweller. Have a good day, you two.” With a wave that you see out of the corner of your eye, Seonghwa leaves.

“I’m never going back to the town hall again,” you mumble against San’s shirt. “I can’t face Seonghwa again.”

San rubs your back with a comforting hand, although you can feel his chest rumble with quiet laughter. “I’m sure he understands, YN. Plus, look on the bright side. At least he didn’t walk in on a more intimate moment.”

Your head snaps up, heat blooming in your cheeks as you slap his shoulder. “San! We’re in the barn!”

A smirk is the only warning you get before San wraps both his arms around you and hoists you into the air, ignoring your squeal. “My house is just across the creek, you know. We don’t have to be in the barn.” You swear he can see how flustered you are just by your expression, and it only seems to egg him on. His one hand moves down to hold you up by your thighs, and you don’t think your face could get any hotter. “Shall we celebrate?”

“San–” you start to decline, but then you pause, casting a glance over your shoulder. Seeonghwa is long gone, and you’re sure Mr Takeru and the Mayor will be talking for a good few hours. “...All right. But put me down!”

Laughing, San happily sets you on your feet, leaning in to press his lips against yours again. “I really am glad you decided to stay, YN. Thank you for choosing me.”

“And if given the chance, I would choose you over and over San.” You smile up at him, reaching up to cup his face and pull him in for yet another kiss. Although the future seems uncertain, you’ll be happy to navigate it with him by your side.

[deezneezz]

Leona & ADD

I got a few ppl (on twitter) wanting me to elaborate on Leona and ADD, so I figured I will share my thoughts here as well, please be nice it's just a personal hc. You don't have to agree at all!! Since it contains some personal experiences I ask of people to please be kind about it!

Anyway, Leona and ADD.

I think a lot of people usually agree on Floyd and Kalim having ADHD, but Leona actually shows a lot of lesser talked about traits of ADHD. Namely Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), sensitivity to clothing/textures (he doesn't like restrictive clothes).

He also has the more commonly talked about traits of course, executive dysfunction being a big one. And his depression definitely exacerbates these traits, when i was undiagnosed and depressed i used to sleep my entire days away. I wasn't getting anything done anyway.

Not to mention not sleeping properly, so I was desperate to find moments to sleep during the day. I've slept on floors, on toilets, in an abandoned corner in uni instead of going to class. I was just *so* tired all the time I didn't want to sit in class, I wanted to sleep.

I was lucky I passed classes without studying, cause i would've never gotten through uni otherwise. I still took longer than necessary. The moment my support system (Ruggie, anyone?) graduated and left I had no one taking care of my basic needs, and I certainly didn't.

I had a dorm mate who cooked for me, made sure I had even an ounce of self-care, and also looked at my room and said "hmm, Deniz, maybe it's time to clean up a little" and then I very reluctantly admitted that it may have gotten a little out of hand.

She would just sit in my room sometimes chilling around while I cleaned cuz that was one of the few ways I cleaned at all (this is a real thing for ADHD, called body doubling. It works). Ruggie arriving at NRC and Leona suddenly performing tons better in school is no coincidence.

Coming back to RSD.. I mean I don't really have to explain it do I.. book 2, Lilia's scathing remarks, the shame of disappointing his dorm, etc. I know a lot of ppl call book 2 an 'overreaction' but like, this is genuinely what it feels like internally when RSD triggers

book 6 too, Jamil's over-protectiveness is clearly (to the audience) smth that's mostly Jamil's own habits and trauma doing. But to Leona it's a rejection/insult to his ability to take care of himself, his skill, etc. This was genuinely smth that set me off too.

"How dare you try to explain to me smth I already know, do you think I'm stupid?" "You're not like me." The unwillingness to admit that someone may be relatable in any way because making any comparison to yourself makes you vulnerable to what you haven't achieved for yourself.

"I would ace these classes too if I wasted my time and life studying as much as they did, but I actually love myself." <- guy who was jealous and did not know he was coping and didn't study cause of executive dysfunction and concentration issues.

Leona clearly knows a lot about the things he genuinely cares about, Ancient spell language, chess, magishift, so its kind of funny to see him so low effort in classes. Though honestly i know the game also says that "Leona already knows all this stuff" so.. who knows really...

Now I'm more chill but I used to legitimately go off the handle a little cuz RSD doesn't really care about whether the shit u feel is proportional to the offence it physically hurts in your chest and you just wanna burn down the world at that exact time and... IS THAT NOT LEONA...

TLDR: give Leona therapy and meds, lol.

[hamiltonaf]

Can you do one with Kylian being very jealous of yn all the time and every time she talks to a guy friend he gets mad and makes a big fuss about it and yn gets tired of him and wants to leave him but then he gets upset and begs for forgiveness but she is so tired of his bullshit and want to take a break from the relationship but after 1-2 months they get back together and he got jealous again so she wants to know why he is like that and it turned out that his ex girlfriend cheated on him multiple times so he had trust issues and she assured him that she wasn’t going to do the same thing

Trust Issues | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.1K

Warnings: Minor angst

A/N: Hii loves ! I’m finally back. Apologies for being MIA, I had a lot going on, plus I had writers block. I’m sorry in advance if the end is disappointing - I honestly feel like I forgot how to write lol. If you’ve sent a request before, please note that I’m working on it. Anywho, enjoy .xoxo

Never thought I’d come to a point in life where I had to cut off all my guy friends for Kylian’s sake. I’ve told myself in the past that if I had to face that in a relationship then I’m walking out. Mentally I’m playing hangman with Kylian’s name.

I love Kylian, I really do, it’s also cute at times to see him get jealous but when it comes to a point when he tells me that I need to stop talking to my guy friend then I don’t vibe with that. He’s basically saying that he doesn’t trust me.

We’ve fought, he apologised, I looked past it for us to move on, but he just crossed the line.

I went out for a friend’s birthday dinner, Kylian decided to stay back and chill at home, though he promised he would pick me up after. The birthday dinner felt like a reunion as some of us were seeing each other after years, it was great catching up with everyone, especially Daniel. Him and I were really close growing up as our parents were good friends, but since I moved and was with Kylian I rarely attended gatherings.

It was getting quite late and Kylian was delayed, I didn’t bother rushing him since Daniel was accompanying me and we were just catching up on lost time. We were stood outside the restaurant, dinner had just ended, some had left and others were in their own conversations. “So how are things going? What have you been up to ?” Daniel eagerly asked. “Well, I’m in my final year of studying so it’s been a bit much but I’m coping. How are things going for you ?” I replied. “Life is great. Can’t complain” he smiled proudly. “Still running your parent’s empire I suppose” I smiled. “Nothing has changed” he grinned.

“Good for you Dan. You’re living the dream” I half laughed. “I’m living the dream ?” He scoffed. “Yeah of course ! You’re travelling literally every other month, flying first class and living the good life” I said. “Yeah but you’re the one dating the football player !” He stated. “Speaking of him, let me just check how far he is” I paused to check my phone if perhaps Kylian called or messaged. Nothing.

Just as I locked my phone, my head turned when I heard a car rev in the distance, he’s here. “Oh look. There he is” I said as both of our heads snapped to Kylian pulling up beside us. Daniel leaned towards the car as Kylian rolled down the window, “Hey man, I’m Daniel” he introduced himself. “Nice to meet you. I’m Kylian” Kylian shook his hand. “Heard a lot about you. We should meet up soon, I’ll message (Y/N)” Daniel suggested. “Yeah sure” Kylian said lastly. “Take care bro” Daniel said before pulling me in for a hug. “Bye Dan. Until next time” I murmured. “Until then. Ciao” he said as his hand rubbed my back before breaking away from our hug.

I got into the car and immediately I could feel the tension in the air. “Hi baby” I smiled as I leaned in to kiss his cheek. He didn’t say anything or react, he just remained stiff. I knew what was coming and I wasn’t ready to face the drama for the umpteenth time. Choosing not to say anything in the car until we got home was the best decision. The second the door shut, he didn’t surprised me by being the one to bring it up. “What was that ?” He raised his voice. “What was what ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Who even was that Daniel guy ? I was there for only a minute and I could see the way he was looking at you. You both seemed to enjoy that hug a little too much” he said. I scoffed, “Are you being serious right now ?”

“Do I look like I’m joking ?” He yelled annoyed. “You have honestly lost it !” I yelled as I turned my back on him and stormed towards our room. “(Y/N) I’m talking to you !” He yelled for me as he followed me to the room. “How the hell can you say we enjoyed that hug a little too much. Are you trying to call me a cheater ?” I raised my voice as I turned around to face him. “You’re just putting words into my mouth. My point is that if another person had seen you both together, they would think you’re a couple. I don’t want you seeing him again” he said.

“You know what Kylian ? I’m done” I huffed. “What do you mean done ?” He asked baffled. “I mean that I can’t do this anymore. I can’t continue being in a relationship where my own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me or allows me to talk to other guy friends of mine without assuming I’m cheating. I’m living a lie by staying in this relationship. Go find yourself a girlfriend that you can control because I’m not that girl” I said before getting a bag and packing it with my belongings.

“Babe please don’t do this. I swear I’m not trying to control you. I’ll admit that I got jealous, okay ? But please don’t go. I love you so much, what will I do without you ?” he pleaded and tried to stop me from packing but I continued.

“No Kylian ! Today you literally crossed the line, I couldn’t care so much for the other guys you said I need to stop talking to, but the fact that Daniel and I go way back and now you want me to cut off our friendship ? He’s basically apart of my family because his parents and my parents are friends. Kylian…I’m so tired honestly of us going back and forth. It just bothers me that Daniel attempted to be your friend in that minute you met but instead you ignore all of that and insinuate that I cheated ? Get some help because I need a break from your shit…this has gone past jealousy” I said in anger, I didn’t have it in me to cry.

“(Y/N) please. I’ll change okay ? I’ll do better. But please don’t go. Please give me another chance” he begged. “Kylian I gave you way too many chances. I can’t believe how long I’ve dealt with this and didn’t leave sooner” I said as I zipped up my bag. “So that’s it ? You’re just going to throw away a 2 year relationship ?” He asked. “All I know right now is that we need space away from each other. I love you Kylian, I do, but I think it’s best for the both of us” I pressed my lips together as I threw my bag over my shoulder. “So we’re over ?” He asked teary eyed. “I- please don’t make this harder than it already is” my voice cracked as I looked up in hopes that my tears would disappear.

“Babe you can’t give up on us. We’re meant for each other” he said as he grabbed my hands and rubbed small circles at the back of them. “Kylian, consider this a break rather than a break up. We can both wisely use this time to focus on ourselves…if we’re meant to be, we’ll find our way back to each other.”

Those were the last words I’ve said to him face-to-face. I left that night and ended up staying at my parent’s house. They were surprised to see me and were quick to ask where Kylian was, I just lied that he’s travelling for an away game. 2 weeks of staying with my parents raised suspicion and they figured out that something was wrong, my mom especially. I told my mom exactly what happened and luckily she took the hint to not talk about it.

Not a day passed that I didn’t receive a message from Kylian. Countless ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ flooded my phone daily, it wasn’t easy taking this time to focus on myself when he was on my mind all day. Whilst making his message clear, he indirectly would ask for us to talk it out and as much as it hurts, I refused. No point in us getting back together if he’s going to go back to square one.

After about a week, I caved in and started replying back to his messages. Eventually easing in to phone calls and FaceTimes. It’s been 3 weeks since that day I called on a break, today I decided it’s time to meet and talk things out.

He seemed sincere and genuine when we met, of course I couldn’t help but give him another chance. We were meeting for one week as if we were in love all over again and after that one week, we’re back together.

Daniel was in town and he wanted to meet up, I happily accepted his lunch invite and was looking forward to rekindling our friendship. Kylian was at training so I thought I’d get ready in the meantime until he was back.

“Ma chérie !” He called as he entered. “In the room, Ky !” I yelled. He came into the room and whistled behind me. “You look beautiful” he said as he placed a kiss on my neck. “Thank you babe” I blushed. “Where are you going ?” He asked as he walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. “I’m going out for lunch with Daniel” I said casually. “Wait, what !” He asked as he stood up. “Why ? I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t see him ?” He said as he changed his tone. I dropped my mascara on the counter and stood up, “Are you back to this nonsense where I can’t have guy friends ?” I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Do you not know how the story goes about childhood guy friends falling for their girl friends ?” He stood up to stand arms length away from me. “No, Kylian ! That’s not how the story goes. Do you not know it takes two people to be in love which hello ? I’m obviously not.” I said as I started to grow angry. “(Y/N), you don’t know how a guys mind works” he said as he shut his eyes for a second. “Before I walk out of this relationship one more time, could you care to explain your reasoning behind why I can’t have guy friends ?” I raised a brow. His face softened when he heard me mention walking out.

“Babe please no . I’m sorry” he rushed over to me to hold my hands in his. I pulled my hands away from his grip, “Explain Kylian…I can’t continue entertaining this.” He sighed and dropped his head before mustering up the courage. “I have trust issues because of my ex” he admitted. I was shocked. “Well, what happened ?” I asked curiously.

“I trusted her and was never one to question anything she did until I found out she cheated on me with those guys she called her friends. Soo…I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. It’s been hard for me to accept having trust. It’s not you babe, I promise I trust you, I just fear that your guy friends will convince you to leave me and walk away from our relationship. I can’t bare losing you, not again after the break” he said as he got emo. “Aww Ky” I pouted as I pulled him in for a hug. We never left each others embrace for a few minutes until Kylian broke away to kiss my forehead.

“I’m glad I got that off my chest. You deserved to know. I love you so much and I’m sorry for my behaviour. I’m trying to be a better boyfriend for you after our break so please be patient with me” he pouted. “I get it now. Thank you for being honest babe” I gave him a quick peck on his lips. “You can go out with Daniel, I won’t stop you any longer” he sighed. “Look, as your girlfriend, I want to help you through this. Remember Daniel suggested you guys going out ? Well why don’t you join us, I’ll send him a message and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. That way you have an idea of what Daniel is like and you have a peace of mind. Also, it’s not just about trusting Daniel, I would like if you and Daniel could be friends. I mean the man is practically family” I half laughed before sending a message to Daniel. “Shame I feel bad now for hating on the guy” he sighed. “Well what he doesn’t know, won’t hurt him” I winked then sent the message.

[ghouljams]

I used to use c.ai to help me write when I went through a mental block. I didn’t see the harm cause I’d put in my own original characters to “speak” to. I wanted it to be easy and I’d just blab and talk to’em cause I didn’t want to write in my word doc. And then it started becoming more, I stopped writing entirely and stayed on c.ai. It gave me that rush you were mentioning and I couldn’t put my phone down.

It wasn’t until I saw writers talking about how their works were being screened and taken and then used for c.ai that I realized that I was part of the problem. I was one of the reasons why writers works were being stolen and taken and I felt incredibly guilty. Even using my own OC’s, even putting my own works into it, I was still stealing. I was still taking from real authors and real writers just so I could “feel” like I was speaking to my OC’s.

I’m glad to say that I quit and got out of it. I replaced c.ai with hobbies and spent my time creating instead of taking, you know? I still feel bad using it. I write every now and then but it just feels wrong to write now.

I think this shows one of the biggest issues with c.ai and generative ai: you STOPPED creating.

You weren't just stealing from other authors you were stealing from yourself. You were giving your art to the machine and it was grinding that art down to the base components so that it could put a bunch of ground meat on your plate and call it steak. Your art wasn't just being sold to you, but to other people, regurgitated into a slurry that leaves you starving for the real thing.

This is just my own opinion on the niche that "ai as a tool" is filling, but I truly think that this is a symptom of the loneliness epidemic. It used to be that if you were stuck on a story beat or needed to bounce ideas off something you'd go to your friend and word vomit on them until you reached a ping-pong-ing idea nirvana. Now you can just go to a robot and avoid talking to other people(avoid talking to yourself even!) because the robot will give you something that it thinks you might like.

It's nice being able to talk to your OCs, but (and this is truly the best advice I ever received about writing) they're not real people.

I was once at a book reading/Q&A with an author who wrote short stories, and a well meaning student asked him "How do you get your characters to do what you want them to do when they seem so determined to do something else?" And he said, "I don't make them do anything. They're not real, so they feel and act how I write them to."

Writing (any kind of creation) is a muscle that you have to work out in order to use it for long stretches. It hurts when you're not used to using it, and when you've gotten used to a certain kind of dopamine rush or style it feels bad to write. I had a human rp partner that I wrote with for years, I'm talking novel series length roleplays, and when I tried to write for myself it hurt. I felt bad, like it wasn't up to snuff, like I only knew how to write half a story, like they could do it better if I just could hop in a rp with them. It sucked. I wrote a horrible novel trying to cope with my rp withdrawals lol.

Using "generative" ai atrophies your creative muscles. It's not a tool so much as an easy way out. Creating is hard, it just is, it takes a piece of you and puts it out into the world. You don't always see the fruits of your labor right away, and that makes it feel like your effort was wasted, but just because the seed you planted doesn't sprout right away doesn't mean it's dead.

If it feels wrong to write then change how you write. Maybe you should try roleplaying with yourself like I suggested to the other anon. Write like a chat:

Soap: Hello Ghoul

Me: Back off freak.

Bring back the old fanfiction dot net style of authors interacting with characters directly. There's no rules to your art, write in a way that makes you happy because it's your writing and not an ai. Write yourself into your OC's stories as a random extra, write from that perspective. Make up aus for no reason other than you want to. Follow every plot bunny that catches your attention. Put one sentence in your notes app and forget about it. You're building creative muscles, it's not going to feel great, and maybe it'll take a while to get back to where you were before you started using c.ai, but if the time passes anyway then why not try?

[ichiwashername-o]

Can't DM you because you don't follow me, so I have to ask about this here (Part 1 of the film gave me sooooo many ideas): When you eventually rewrite your trilogy, could you include a scene where Dorothy and Elphaba kinda just...talk? I was reading The Fire That Consumes and it kinda hit me how, after Dorothy and Co are rescued, she and elphie are kinda just in the same place and sporadically interact. In my head at least, they both should have become kinda meta in each-others eyes, due to how intertwined their destinies were. It's like "Hey, you "killed" me. Thanks, got a lot of heat off my back actually" "Well I kinda had to put it together that you were a political insurrectionist and scapgoat for the regime of this country, who used me as another political pawn when I was dealing with being thrust another world." As important as Elphaba's reunion with Glinda is, for a different reason I think her meeting Dorothy again and both just filling in the blanks the other has had for years is of equal importance. There could be a real friendship there I think. And (i've brought this up in a couple of "Dorothy returns to Oz" fics) i'm pretty sure she KEPT the shoes when she went back to Kansas! LOL she still needs to return them XD

YES I KNOW THAT'S ONE OF THE MAJOR REASONS I WANT TO REWRITE THEM! SO MANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!

I was re-reading them myself a bit ago and I swore I had a scene where Dorothy and Elphaba reconcile, but they just . . . don't???? The plot just moves on without them working out the very obvious tension between them????

And I'm like, how the hell did I miss an opportunity like that??? Other major characters have a sit-down and talk and work out their feelings and issues (I have Fiyero and Hunk having a heart-to-heart fer chrissake!) But I manage to miss Elphaba and Dorothy?!

Rest assured, that will be remedied, and I already have plans for that!

[thatdeadaquarius]

SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:

You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻

(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )

Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.

Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)

PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2

So.

You got sucked into a video game. 

Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

yknow how it issss

...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...

which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)

see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own

there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...

the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?

or like the way ghosts look in game?

but a lot more "starry"

like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)

but yah.

you also got just, white eyes.

like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased

you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.

(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)

so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE

i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS

...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy

and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(

like wth!!!

thats just downright unfair.

so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)

...

I choose you, yellow fungi!

...

....

you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),

what'd you expect?? an archon??

..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-

these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing

a rishabold tiger? yep.

a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.

...you also try a ruin machine LOL

by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those

(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)

you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈

its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!

will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots

and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-

forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them

(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)

so THEORHETICALLY-

you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite

... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...

here goes nothing...

♤

so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites

which! worked out!

mostly..!

you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO

they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!

experiment #2: people possession, success!!

now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)

but no one can see you.

you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol

you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)

you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting

:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess

the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream

LMAO

ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard

bc Collei would have def screamed back lol

needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.

Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.

collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)

welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)

then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-

u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )

♧

Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.

he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually

(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)

So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,

having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...

Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.

his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people

after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-

-control humans??

Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people

he answer is negative, on both accounts.

and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments

Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers

...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)

...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.

YOU GUYS-

UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦

??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-

uh cya ig!!

Safe travels lmao,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji

(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)

Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man

[uceyliyahh]

SOMETHING BOUT’ US

Summary: "I want you more than anything in my life." After being in a difficult relationship with Carmelo Yasmine decided to move on from him and become the next big thing while getting drafted on the smackdown roster she always thought she would never find love again due to her commitment issues until she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3508

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Yasmine

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @aikosilo @papireigns-05 @punksyeet @paigereeder @magnificentbouquetmusic

@hunnidmilly @celesteheartsjey @charmed-dreamssss @fearlesschimera @partypoison00 @mselenalovebug @bloodlinesbabe93

1.

YASMINE I was in the gym working out before going to work today. Being a wrestler was very cool. Shawn Michaels has declared that I will be the next great thing for the organization, which I truly believe.

As I was performing my bench press reps, I felt my phone vibrate and heard from my AirPods that Bianca was calling me, so I paused my reps and placed the weights down to answer the phone.

OTP Minnie🧃: Hey, B what's up? Breezy🫶🏽: Hey girlfriend! How are things going down at NXT? Minnie🧃: it's been going good I'm just at the gym right now before I head into work Breezy🫶🏽: good! I heard melo ass was tryna talk to you Minnie🧃: girl fuck him he's not important Breezy🫶🏽: period but I know the draft is coming up soon so I hope you'll get drafted to smackdown me and Trin is missing you dearly. Minnie🧃: I miss you guys too like our schedules are soo hectic rn it's not even funny Breezy🫶🏽: who you telling girl but imma' go I'll talk to you later girl! Minnie🧃: byeee

CALL ENDED

I hung up the phone and went back to performing my reps. I'll tell you a little bit about myself and Carmelo; we dated for around two or three years? We went from high school sweethearts to almost engaged before he left to become an NXT star and cheated on me.

When I found out he cheated on me with someone on the roster, I was furious to say the least. Since my name was on the lease, I basically threw his things out and told him to go live with his whore.

I blocked him on everything as he attempted to contact me after learning that I would be on the main roster of NXT, but I ignored him since I was focused on my work.

After that day, I couldn't trust any man. My trust issues were strong, and I was an extremely critical over-thinker, always wondering if I'd forgiven him, would he change?

But you know what they say: people who cheat will cheat on you again, and I wasn't going to cope with that.

As I finished my reps, I set the weights down on the side of the bench, grabbed my Stanley cup of water next to me, and began sipping it.

After I got off the bench, I grabbed my phone and checked the time; it was nearly time for me to go to work, so I grabbed my gym bag and keys and headed towards my car.

I opened the door, threw my workout bag in the backseat, and went to Instagram to upload my gym photos from earlier, all while turning on the car's ignition and moving away from the parking lot.

biancabelairwwe, trinity_fatu, tiffanywwe and others liked your post.

minnieminks: getting that good workout in before work. 💁🏼‍♀️💪🏼 biancabelairwwe: GIRL THAT THANG IS THANGING BACK THERE 👁️👄👁️ minnieminks: @ biancabelairwwe get yo' gay ass out of my comments B please 😭😭 trinity_fatu: damnnn girl that ass is fat tiffanywwe: Yazzie give me tips for a big booty like yours girl please I am begging 😭😭 carmelohayes: can't believe I fumbled that damn let's run that back. 😩😩 minnieminks: @ carmelohayes 🙄🙄

Read all Comments.

✧˚° I arrived at work as I parked in the garage grabbing my bag that had all of my gear inside of it while walking towards the building. As I was walking towards my locker room I've seen Lash running up to me as she gave me a hug.

"Hey Girly!" Lash said.

"Hey, Lash what's happening?" I said while folding my arms.

"Nothing much girl getting ready for this tag team match later on did you eat?" She said.

Now that I think about it I didn't eat before heading to the gym I shook my head while she linked her arms with mines as we began to walk to  the catering area.

I grabbed a plate getting me some Salmon along with some white rice and asparagus while getting me a cold bottle of water. I walked towards the table sitting down with Lash as we began eating our food.

"So I heard about you and melo yall ain't together anymore?"

"Nah we aren't together anymore after he cheated on me but he keeps trying to hit me up and stuff but I just ignore him." I stated while eating my rice.

"Mhm, period girl as you should if Trick would've done something like—something like what?" Lash got startled as she seen Trick behind her with his plate in his hands.

The couple stop kissing each other as he sat down next to us eating his food.

He chuckled at her as he set his plate down, placing his hands around her waist as she held him closely and kissed his lips.

I glanced at the pair kissing one other's faces, and it almost made me feel lonely, but I didn't mind since I enjoy being alone. Trick was close friends with Carmelo, and it wasn't strange for him to remain so after his friend strayed. We kept in touch from time to time, checking in on each other.

"What's good Minks." Trick said.

"Hey Trick how you been?"

"I've been good you know being the nxt champion and all how about you?"

"I'm fine just ready to see who am I going against tonight." I said grabbing the napkin that was next to me wiping my mouth in the process.

He nodded affirmatively and continued eating his dinner, while Lash nudged me, as if she saw someone behind me.

When I looked at her, she pointed her finger behind me. As I turned around, I saw the guy I despise the most, Carmelo, with crossed arms. I rolled my eyes at him.

"What? Melo?" I asked sternly.

"Can we like talk in private?" He asked.

I looked over at Trick and Lash, who were gazing at me, and then back at Carmelo. I groaned heavily, finished my lunch and tossing it in the trash bin while walking with Carmelo.

We proceeded to his locker room, and he locked the door behind him as I sat on his couch, crossing my legs in the process.

"What the fuck do you want Melo?"

"Can you relax with the attitude Minks? I'm tryna apologize for what happened I was drunk and stupid." Carmelo said.

"Melo I don't give a damn how many times you apologize to me about your actions I'm not taking you back." He scoffed in disbelief how can this man be so naive to think that I'll just welcome him back in open arms?

"Why do you have to be so difficult, Yasmine? "I'm trying to make things right with yo' ass." I rolled my eyes at him; is this nigga being serious right now?

I sat up on the couch, peering intently into his eyes while we both kept eye contact. "Me? Being difficult? How am I being difficult when I haven't done anything? I'm going to leave since you're already aggravating me, and I've only just arrived at work." I jumped up from the couch and moved towards the door, but he stopped my path while peering into his dark eyes.

He grabbed my throat and roughly pushed me back against the wall, pinning me in the process, which anxious me little. "Nigga, what the hell is wrong with you? "Let me go!" I yelled, attempting to shove him off of me. He held me firmly around the throat and muttered something in my ear that gave me goosebumps. "You'll never be able to find someone better than me and if you do I won't hesitate to kill them because you belong to me and only me understand..?" Carmelo threatened me as I was afraid.

I nodded yes as he left go of my throat, gasping for oxygen before exiting his locker room; I couldn't tell anybody about it or he'd be fired, so I kept it to myself.

I rushed to my locker room, closing and locking the door as I dropped down on the ground, breaking down. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I gasped for air, attempting to calm down.

I wasn't expecting him to be like this with me because of his behavior, but what he said scared the snot out of me. I kept weeping silently so no one could hear me.

'What am I going to do?'

✧˚°

I was in the makeup chair, getting my makeup done, when I felt someone touch my shoulders. I opened one eye to find Lash behind me and offered her a phony grin. "Ouuu girl your makeup looks so good it matches with your gear so much." Lash praised me. "Thank you girly your gear looks so good make me wanna eat you up don't tell trick I said that by the way." While she and I were snickering at each other, I noticed Carmelo stroll past us, looking at me.

I avoided eye contact with him, which Lash observed as her facial expression turned to one of confusion, lifting an eyebrow at me.

"Did something happen between you and Melo?" She asked. I shook my head because I didn't want her to inform Shawn about what happened between me and him in his locker room.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, nothing didn't happen girl why don't you go focus on your match for tonight I'll catch up with you later." I said as she nodded her head hugging me in process.

After I got my makeup down I looked in the mirror checking myself out and damn I look good for tonight's match against Roxanne Perez for her title this was a good opportunity for myself.

She's been holding that Title for a hot minute now and out of all the girls I got the opportunity to win it.

"Yasmine to the gorilla, Yasmine to the gorilla."

I checked myself about one last time before heading out towards the gorilla I put on my jacket fixing my hair in the process pumping myself up to calm my nerves as I looked up at the TV screen seeing her going inside the ring.

I looked at the camera as my music starts playing saying towards the camera "it's go time baby." As I head out towards the ring. I walked out as the crowd cheered for me I love the massive pop that I am getting from the crowd.

"And her opponent from Brooklyn, New York weighting at 148 pounds Yasmine!!"

I spun around as I was skipping towards the ring flipping my hair in the process while doing the same thing around ring before getting on top of the ring. Sitting on the ropes before flipping over them walking around the ring.

"Yasmine is one of favorite female athletes on the NXT roster, mannn she's so talented."

"I agree with you here Booker she'll be the next NXT women's champion for sure."

I took off my jacket throwing it outside of the ring stretching my arms as the referee held up the championship before ringing the bell.

Roxanne ran up towards me as I ducked before doing a drop kick on her causing her fall on her back holding it. Grabbing a full load of her hair throwing her across the ring like a ragdoll as I climb on the ropes giving her doing a moonsault off the ropes landing on her body as she groaned in pain.

✧˚° 1! 2! 3!

"Roxanne Perez retains her NXT women's championship!!"

"Here's your winner and still the NXT women's champion Roxanne Perez!!"

This was a terrific match for us; we had synergy that no one else had in the locker room. Roxanne helped me up while holding her hand out in courtesy. I shook it, of course, as she hugged me and whispered in my ear that she was proud of me before releasing go.

I raised her hand as everyone shouted before rolling out of the ring, gripping onto my body because I was in pain. I headed towards the Gorilla after seeing Lash and Trick approach me.

"Oh my gosh girl you almost had her!" Lash said.

"Yeah, you did don't worry Minks you'll have that opportunity again." Trick said reassuringly.

I smiled at them weakly due to me feeling tired, "thanks guys I appreciate it but imma hit the showers good luck Lash!" I left them two as I went towards my locker room before I could I see Carmelo coming up towards me.

I walked past him not trying deal with his shit tonight after what happened earlier but he grabbed me by the arm as I looked up at him.

"You did a good job about there baby." Carmelo said as I scoffed.

"Don't call me that we aren't together Melo." I said sternly as I saw a grin on his face.

"Last time I checked we are remember what I told you earlier Yasmine." I just rolled my eyes at him before yanking my arm away from him heading in my locker room locking it.

I grabbed my phone seeing that Bianca had texted me.

IMESSAGE 💬 Breezy🫶🏽 sent 3+ messages

Breezy🫶🏽: Hey Girl! I watched your match with Roxanne and I must say you're one hell of an athlete girl doing all of em flips. 😭😭 Minnie🧃: thank you girl I appreciate it Breezy🫶🏽: you'll be a perfect match for the smackdown roster girl imma need a match with you and Iyo fr Minnie🧃: PLEASE THAT IS LITERALLY MY DREAM MATCH WITH HER😭🥲 Breezy🫶🏽: lol but are you doing okay? Minnie🧃: yeah...

I didn't know if I should tell B about what happened between me and Melo she'll probably be pissed if I told her.

Breezy🫶🏽: what happened Yasmine? 🤨 Minnie🧃: something happened between me and Melo... Breezy🫶🏽: what the fuck did he do? Because I will show my ass Yasmine Minnie🧃: it was just a simple talk and how he was sorry for what he did then when I decided to leave his locker room he decided to put his hands on me threatening me in the process... Breezy🫶🏽: OH HELL NAH IM FINNA TELL MONTEZ! THAT NIGGA DONT GOT NO RIGHT TO PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU! 😡 Minnie🧃: please don't tell Montez ion' want him involved B Breezy🫶🏽: no yasmine this is unacceptable Montez has to know ight? Minnie🧃: fineeee you're technically my sister in law so I have to listen to you. Breezy🫶🏽: good does anyone else know about this? Does Trick know? Minnie🧃: no don't nobody else know but you. Breezy🫶🏽: I'm glad you told me this cuz man but imma let you get some rest I'll text you in the morning. Minnie🧃: okay byee

Sigh now I gotta hear Montez fat ass mouth about this shit I'll probably be switched over to the smackdown brand with them that way I can be around from Melo ass and be with my girls.

After I took a shower I put on the some comfortable clothes while putting the rest of my gear in the bag double checking that I had everything inside of my bag before grabbing my keys heading out towards the garage.

I walked towards the garage unlocking my car as I threw my bag behind the backseat before starting up the car. While I was doing that I saw Carmelo coming up towards my car I just deeply sighed while rolling my eyes in the process.

"Baby where are you heading to?" He questioned me.

'If this nigga keep calling me baby imma crash the fuck out.'

"Nigga stop calling me your fucking baby because I'm not your damn baby now what the fuck do yo' ass want?" I said sternly while feeling irritated.

I made sure I locked my door just in case he wanted to do some sneaky shit.

"Stop catching a fucking attitude with me little girl before I handle yo' ass now answer my question."

"Ion' have to answer to you so I would advise you to me yo' ass before you get run over by me." I put the car in drive as I drove off from the garage leaving him dumbfounded while was driving I was listening to summer walker.

She just dropped a new single and I am in love with it as I was listening to the lyrics throughly.

'Only thing that's saving you (Oh-oh) Is the heart of a woman Yeah Only thing that's saving you, oh Is the heart of a woman Hey, yeah'

I came to a halt at the red light as I took out a pre-roll blunt from my glove section, lighting it up and taking a few puffs while simply vibing out.

As I began to drive towards my house, the light went green. I continued to smoke the pre-roll blunt, feeling my body relax knowing that this would help me calm down.

'Question is, why I do the things I do? Answer I may never find, but I'll always choose you Wanna give up on you but, damn, I know I can't I put the blame on me for giving you chance after chance'

I knew Montez would be unhappy when he found out what Carmelo had done to me; he had always loathed Carmelo since we met, but I didn't listen to him being crazy as usual.

And now I'm in a toxic situation with this man simply because he threatened me if I find someone else, but with my trust issues, I'm not sure if I can find someone faithful since people will do you dirty in the blink of an eye.

'In love with you, but can't stand this And I try to be strong But how much can I take? Put your words on your life this time And I hope your ass ain't lyin' 'cause'

I was overthinking whether someone would deal with my attitudes, or even handle me at all.

I despised being a critical over-thinker because it placed me in a deep state of despair knowing that all I needed was comfort, which he couldn't supply.

'Only thing that's saving you (Oh-oh) Is the heart of a woman Yeah, oh-yeah Only thing that's saving you Is the heart of a woman Yeah-yeah'

I eventually made it home, pulling into the driveway and shutting off my car before getting my belongings from the backseat. My body was still throbbing from the fight I had with Roxanne.

Unlocking my door and feeling the fresh aroma inside my house, I sighed in relief as I gripped against the wall and removed my shoes, placing them on the shoe rack.

I deposited my luggage on the couch and walked into the kitchen, opening the cupboard to fetch a snack because I had already eaten after my match.

Going upstairs to my bedroom, I dropped down on the bed and grabbed the remote next to me, putting on Netflix.

'It's my mind and my soul versus your pride Nigga, check your ego 'cause I left mine at the door Just because I let it slide Drowning in all my emotions I let you slide in this ocean I'm in'

I watched my phone light up as I noticed Trinity had contacted me, hoping Bianca hadn't told her what had occurred.

IMESSAGE 💬 Trin🤭🫶🏽: HE PUT HIS HANDS ON YOU? Minnie🧃: shit...did Bianca tell you? Trin🤭🫶🏽: yeah, ofc Yasmine she did tell me about it do I gotta tell Jon? Minnie🧃: might as well since she's telling my brother 🙄 Trin🤭🫶🏽: un-unt don't do that this is only for your protection Yasmine I can't believe he would do that to you hasn't he put you through enough? Minnie🧃: yeah you're right Trin Minnie🧃: will I ever find love or trust again? 😟 Trin🤭🫶🏽: heyyy don't be like that because I know how you get ion' want you to be in your head you will find it or it'll come to you I promise but this draft needs to hurry up so that you can be away from him Minnie🧃: what if he gets drafted on the smackdown brand too then what? Trin🤭🫶🏽: we will protect you yasmine don't worry as long as Jon and Montez is around you'll be okay Minnie🧃: kk Trin🤭🫶🏽: well imma go tell Jonathan since he don't play about you just like how Montez is with you being is little sister. Minnie🧃: ight then byeee

This is such a mess I hope and pray that he doesn't get drafted on smackdown with me because it'll just start some shit.

'In love with you but can't stand your ways And I try to be strong But how much can I take? Put your words on your life this time And I hope your ass ain't lyin' 'cause'

Why do I have to do this again? When I mean again I've been through an abusive relationship before in the past and lemme' tell you it was horrible but the person I was with before Carmelo is in jail for life.

So now I have significant commitment difficulties, as well as trust issues, since I'm frightened that if I date someone again, I'll get wounded again, so I've created a shield over my heart as a result of what I've experienced.

'Only thing that's saving you (No, I can't take it no more) (l'm bound to walk out the door) Is the heart of a woman Oh-oh, oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh Only thing that's saving you Is the heart of a woman Ah, ah'

Something Bout' Us

A/n: welcome to a new book 💁🏽‍♀️ I hope Montez and Jonathan beat Carmelo ass honestly 😅 because why is he already starting shit with Yasmine?

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments below.

Stay Ucey.

[eww-y-tho]

Colin VS Toxic Masculinity and Why Penelope Had to Reveal Herself as LW

I made a previous post with my two cents on why the idea of them both figuring out a solution to LW was an inferior concept to just Penelope figuring it out on her own, but it was small and I want to go more in-depth.

So, in order to grasp ✨my perspective✨ of the story, we first need to talk about Colin's struggles with toxic masculinity and his inferiority complex.

Naturally, Colin is a hopeless romantic with demisexual tendencies and a more prominent softness compared to other male leads. He's a bit dense (I say with love) until he figures out what he wants and how he's going to get it, and then he is a man of frankly ridiculous action. He's a sensitive boi who has a difficult time fitting in with the other men in his life and being taken seriously by his family, as he puts it himself. An empath, lol.

Honestly, Colin being a "rake" was an integral point of his character arc, and if you haven't picked up on that text by now, I would ask where your media literacy is. Violet put it best, he's putting on armour to protect himself from the way that society treats his character, and naturally, he develops a small, albeit persistent inferiority complex because of this. He doesn't feel like he's providing enough to the people around him because of toxic masculine standards.

I honestly think it's been with him since s1, and Pen is the only person who could bring these thoughts to the surface, which is why it comes to a head in s3 p2.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

In his efforts to fit in, he does some questionable things, such as the 2x8 comment, which he regrets as soon as he realizes how much damage it has done to his relationship with Pen. He hangs around with douchebags that he can't stand because he feels a need to conform and "be the kind of man society expects him to be."

But he also absorbs toxic masculine tendencies in the process. His gut instinct of general envy that a woman, Pen, is more successful than him (I hate to put it that bluntly, but that's how I took it), asking for her to quit LW because of these reasons, completely disregarding Pen's autonomy and her perspective by blindly charging forward to stop Cressida's blackmail, among other smaller things.

It's kind of ✨subtle✨, but I know it's there.

Pair that with his inferiority complex and you have a man who is trying to put down Penelope to his level, if that makes sense. By this point, he's already conquered the idea that he needs to conform by the way he cuts off his toxic friend group, but he isn't completely free from the systemic perspective.

Therefore, the idea that Pen would need him in order to find a solution to her problem confirms that toxic masculine trait. Let's be real, Penelope didn't and doesn't need Colin in order to help with LW's problems. She's managed without him before and will continue to manage it by herself. This is not to say that Penelope doesn't have an issue with accepting help from others and feeling the need to handle her problems alone because of her old situation, but she takes the emotionally intelligent move by LITERALLY voicing what she needs from Colin and their relationship.

She needs his companionship, she needs his love, she needs a rock she can come to at the end of the day and be able to depend on. She does not need him to do anything for LW, as it is a part of her identity and an accomplishment that she is proud of and will not let go of. Colin cannot make the demand that she drop everything she's worked for for him.

And that's how relationships work in the real world. You have things you are willing to let go of, and some things you are not. Your partner has to accept those boundaries you have set or leave the relationship, and you shouldn't have to abandon those things in order to get the person of your dreams, because that would make it a toxic relationship from the start and will most likely end in you losing parts of yourself in your partner.

Anyway, all this is to say that Penelope had to get out of her situation by her own means and with full autonomy on what she wanted to do to finish off her character arc.

And Colin needed to realize that his envy is a baseless emotion that simply has no value compared to the woman he knows her as. A strong, independent woman who doesn't need him to do things for her. He also needed to humble himself and see the way that LW is not competing with him, but a part of her. They both demonstrate that what they need from the relationship is not transactional in nature, but rather a shared bond powered by love.

I understand the idea of wanting them to both find a way out of the blackmail as a team, but again, that's explicitly not what they need from each other, and why I think this perspective is again a misunderstanding of their character arcs.

I think I've articulated this the best way I can, but I do know I wanted to say some other things. I'm tired tho, so yeah, ending it here.

Hopefully, this made sense.

Bai!

[hollowtones]

how do you personally cope with anxiety?

If I find myself gripped by some awful terror or worry I try to sit myself down and ask myself "Are you sure? How do you know that? What are you assuming? About who/what? Why? What are you losing out on by believing that? Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? Can you ask someone else what they think about it?" It is a very patient and gentle and non-judgemental way of telling myself to shut the hell up and remember there's a world outside of myself. Sometimes that's enough on its own and sometimes I need to try and afford myself extra time / extra patience / extra space to just process my thoughts and emotions, feel things & let it go through me. And sometimes it doesn't help as much as I'd like it do and I just kind of grit my teeth and struggle through it for a while and have a hard time doing much else! Which is part of why it's been so hard for me to stream consistently lately. You get good days and you get bad days sometimes when you've got chronic conditions. You can't really think your way out of a chronic condition, as much as it'd be nice to go "I said the Right Things to myself today and now I don't have brain or fatigue or respiratory issues anymore", y'know? But this is what works for me (that & driving it into my own skull that "this is not inherently a deep personal failing on my part"), and after years of trying different things and after years of trying this specific sort of thing I've gotten better at believing myself when I try to talk to myself like this. If you're talking the Physical Symptoms side of anxiety then I usually go lie down somewhere quiet for a while and try to experience as few stimuli as possible. LOL

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello sex witch! Hope you're having a wonderful weekend.

I have a question and I'm wondering if you can shed light on it. For context, I only recently started masturbating and using a vibrator but I've never had sex with anyone else before (due to a bad combo of shitty self esteem and antidepressants killing any sex drive I could have). I started off small with a vibe bullet and now I have a longer vibrator which does wonders to my clit but I'm having trouble with the penetration side of things. I tried the last couple days to get it inside, lots of lube etc but it didn't seem to go past maybe an inch or two. It's not even that it started hurting at that stage, there just... wasn't anywhere I could feel it going. And I tried a bunch of different angles and nothing. It almost felt like I was trying to pierce a pencil sized hole with a marker pen or something.

On the flip side, I recently had a transvaginal ultrasound - or at least tried to. And when the wand went inside it hurt so much that I had to stop her before she had even reached the vagina or so the tech said. Admittedly I did lie and said I had sex before because I'd used a vibrator lol so maybe I shouldn't have had that scan at all, but I guess I'm wondering if any of this sounds normal? Is this all because I'm still a virgin or whatever, even though that isn't something important to me at all? I can get fingers in and it's fine, it's good, actually, I like it, and sometimes my clit gets so sensitive that I prefer fingering myself, but I'm just trying to ascertain if it's a medical issue. I feel as though I can't really go to the doctor about this given there isn't a second person involved so it's not truly my sex life I'm actually talking about - but equally my GP thinks I might have endometriosis and did ask me if I have pain during sex. And given I'm a lesbian I didn't think that question necessarily applied to me (he asked if I was married and I said no, so he said that it wasn't relevant).

The tldr version of this ask: is it medically worrying that I can't get a vibrator inside me or any kind of internal scan? Are there any ways of working myself up to penetration or is my hymen gonna be the bane of my existence my whole life?

hi anon,

first off: don't lie to your doctors. when they ask if you've had sex, particularly in the context of something like a transvaginal ultrasound, they're asking in part so that they know what can be comfortably inserted into your vagina. they likely would have used a smaller wand had they known you don't have a lot of penetrative sexual experience, and the procedure might have gone much easier.

(although, for future reference: if anybody reading this is ever having a hard time with a penetrative procedure, you can always, always ask them to slow down, use something smaller, and make other adjustments necessary for your comfort.)

the question of whether or not you have pain during sex applies to everyone, regardless of your sexual orientation or whether you're having partnered sex or not. if you experience pain consistently when you masturbate, that's an issue.

it's very normal for penetration with a large object to be difficult or uncomfortable when you first start doing that. the vaginal muscles need practice to learn new skills the same as every other muscle; I often liken it to how nobody should learn how to run by showing up to a marathon without having ever done so much as going for a jog. don't press your boundaries faster than is comfortable; it's fine if you have a limited depth of penetration at the moment.

your hymen isn't really the issue here; please see the article about hymens linked in my sex ed FAQ dispelling many pervasive myths about what the hymen is and how it works.

[discodummy]

I'm gonna rant about my body image issues and dysmorphia for a second so watch out. I'll put it under a read more if i can figure out how

slay i think i did it. anyway, going to the gym as much as i have and getting into shape and stuff has been lovely, dont get me wrong, but it also makes some things very strange for me. Like, I was raised by a an who had a manual job and was a bodybuilder in his 20's. My perspective of what a "dad bod" was was SO skewed by my dad that i though it meant a buff guy who puffs his chest out when he stands stil to look bigger. My older brother (by three years) was chubby in middle school and then did swimming and lacrosse and had an insane dorito shaped body by 17 and still has it now. I was 6'3 when i started high school and i looked like a lollipop: just a big head on a tiny body. And i stayed that way all through high school. I assumed that getting beefy and filling out like my dad and brother did just want going to happen for me. I spent all of my early and mid 20's weighing like 145 (150 on a good day) and having to buy 28x34's for pants and medium shirts. The pandemic happened and i started working from home and after a few years i was about 210 or so. I stayed around that weight for bit and assumed it was my adult weight and what my body liked and spent over a year coming to terms with it. wel NOW after going to the gym and eating better for the last 10 months, im down to a toned 180 and im all sorts of jumbled up. I hit my shoulders on doorframes bc even though i measured and know my shoulders got at least 4 inches broader, i still dont believe it or feel it. My mediums got too tight, and my XL's from being 210 fit my shoulders and chest but hang off of me. Like im surrounded by evidence of the shape my body is in now, and i can see in the mirror how i look, i just dont think its clicking for me. I'm right about 6'4 and until the last year or so i wouold just say i was "medium tall" bc i didnt think i was TALL tall, just tallER. Like thats how deep this weird disconnect from the objective truths of my body goes. And now im at the point where people compliment my arms or chest or butt or something and i cant shake the nagging feeling that its just flattery and they dont mean it and isnt true. Someone said my arms were big and i was like "i mean theyre long, but i wouldnt say big" and it took me seeing several people with smaller arms over the course of a while for me to be like "oh yeah i guess so". Like, i always felt like the most average and unremarkable of my family and thats SUPER bleeding into things now. Maybe i dont think i can be extraordinary or above average or something?? All i know is im CLEARLY not seeing what everyone else is, and poeple are getting frustrated with me about it and taking it as me being fake-humble or just plain oblivious. And i feel insane talking about it bc one of my friends says it makes him feel awful to see someone who "looks like me" doubt myself so much, because that means that HE must be so much worse then. I also know that a 6'4 in shape white guy having body image issues isnt exactly the easiest thing to sympathize or empathize with, but it sucks that I feel like i cant really talk about it with anyone bc it just gets too personally hard for anyone to go in depth about. Its like my issues are too triggering for others and i just need to get a grip or something. IDK, i just needed to vent about this bc i dont know what else to do. if you read all of this, let me know what you think or something lol

[tea-and-secrets]

i think my favorite sport is turning me into a masochist LOL, my friends will know who this is but idc, its mostly a joke but like not entirely?

so basically, i do aerial silks. i started around 6 months ago (most likely 8 when this is posted) after spending ~7 YEARS in a very inactive, mostly sedentary lifestyle due to some health conditions (physical and mental) that made it very hard to get motivation to do any exercise. however, i’d ALWAYS wanted to so something like aerial silks or pole dancing etc because it looked so pretty and fun, and my mom recently found a place that does classes.

when first starting, it was genuinely agony. like i couldn’t do any of the moves because the sheer pressure on my limbs was so much that i couldn’t go upside-down for more than a few seconds. however, for some godforsaken reason (/lighthearted) i decided to stick with it, and over time it stopped hurting, and i started building some muscle! it took weeks to start being able to do the simplest things (ie. diaper pose), but now i can do them easily.

well anyways, to get to the point, ive been very much recently finding myself obsessing over it. not in an unhealthy “i need to improve myself” way but in a “i love how this makes me feel” kind of way. and one of the things ive found i really like about it is the pain that it gives—again, i dont mean in a self-harm way, but in the satisfied endorphins and sore muscles kind of way. it just feels so good when the lesson ends and all my joints are loose and achy.

and yeah lol, ive started to associate that kind of pain and aching and stretched muscles with the good feeling that aerial silks gives me, and i love doing it. it’s such a lovely sport, and is so satisfying, and im starting to think that those associations are turning me into some sort of masochist LMFAO

i love doing it, i love lying upside down and letting my spine decompress, and stretching my limbs and letting myself go weightless in the silks, and the ache of my core when i pull myself up into a diaper climb, and the way my calf muscles have become so strong after months of hard work.

anyways i guess the lesson is that if traditional exercise isnt for you, try alternative exercise!! things like aerial silks, rebounding, bungee fitness, etc, because at least for me the issue was largely mental because traditional exercise didn’t give me the dopamine to keep at it and this new kind is! and of course it isnt for everyone, however i will say that as a fairly fat person myself aerial silks is actually quite accessible. a rigging can (or should be able to) hold 700+ pounds, and because of the extra weight you end up gaining quite a lot of muscle because you have to put in more work to pull yourself up (same reason why fat people often have VERY strong calves, because walking takes more energy than for someone who weighs less)

i just. really love the classes, i love the teachers, and i love seeing all the regulars, and having people who know my name and smile when they see me feels so good. idk, im a lot happier now, i can focus better on schoolwork, and im mad that my mom was right and that exercise DOES make you feel good lol. a lot of that stuff is due to being on medications that help me with my conditions but the exertion of silks definitely helps as well.

er, ted talk over, anyways! highly highly recommend aerial silks, it hurts like hell but if you’re crazy like me you’ll start to like it LMFAO, have a good day

.

[rekino2114]

Hey dude, love your works and thanks for doing these x reader content. Also may I get a valentine's prompt 1 with min jeung. I remember your love confessions with the drdt girls and thought: lol imagine if min confessed on valentines day

Min jeung asking you to be her valentine

Pairing:min jeung x gn reader

A/n:Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! hope you enjoyed the event. I'm probably gonna do a few more posts for it in the next few days, but save the others for next year. Funnily enough today an anon requested a min valentine's day prompt that I don't know if I'm gonna do so I hope you still like this

"Uh........min are ok? You're shaking a lot"

"No"

"O-oh"

"What happened? It's the first time I've seen you so.......nervous"

"That's the thing I don't know why! I've never felt like this before. It's like when I don't know which answer to put on a test but ten thousand times worse, I feel like my life is gonna end if this doesn't go well!"

Teruko and Xander exchanged looks and looked back at their friend

"I.....see"

"So what is so important?"

"........You're gonna think it's stupid"

"We'd never, we're your friends min, and whatever is bothering you must be a big issue that we're going to help you through right teruko?"

"Uh.....yeah sure.....I guess"

".....I.....uh.....so you know how today's valentine's day"

"Yeah.......a girl asked me to hold the flowers she was gonna give her boyfriend but I made them wilt"

".....what do you mean you made them wilt?"

"I dunno one moment I was holding them the next they were dead.......and I had to pay her back"

".......your luck needs to be studied"

"A-anyway, what does Valentine's Day have to do with your problem min? Wait, don't tell me, you wanna ask someone to be your valentine?"

"........yeah"

"That's great, who's the lucky person?"

"Y-y/n.....but to be honest I'm the lucky one, they hang out with me so much"

"Oh that makes sense, they're so nice to you"

"Yeah that's part of why I love them"

"......that's it?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"From what I've seen they really like you too so I don't see why they'd reject being your valentine"

"But......what if they don't like me"

"Uh?"

"There's a big difference between if they like hanging out with me and if they like like me, I don't wanna ruin our friendship......it's the best one I've ever had"

".....oh sorry then"

"No it's fine it's just.....I really love them, it feels like they really understand me....the real me, they never asked me to do their homework or help them with tests, and even when I offer to help them they're always so nice and tell me not to overwork myself, it feels like they see me as......me...... not the ultimate student"

"Wow....that....must be a beautiful feeling"

"It really is"

"Then that's the sign that they're the person for you, if you really want my advice go and confess, they sound like they like you just as much as you like them"

"B-but"

"No buts, you really want to be y/n's girlfriend right?"

"Y-yeah obviously"

"Then you're gonna do it. You can do it!"

"............"

"Come on say it! You can do it!"

"I-I can do it"

"With more confidence, you can do it!

"I can do it!"

"That's the spirit! Now go over there and win them over with the best confession they've ever seen"

".....y-yeah"

Teruko just sighed looking at the scene, but put a hand on Min's shoulder and gave her a reassuring nod

"I'm sure you'll do great min, just go there and be yourself"

Min nodded back at her friends who gave her thumbs up as she went over to you with a box of chocolates behind her back

"H-hey y/n what's up?"

"Hi min, everything's great......."

You tilted your head noticing that she was sweating bullets

"Wanna talk to me?"

"Y-yeah actually, it's very important"

"Oh really? What is it?"

"D-do you.........do you......."

Min suddenly pulled out the box of chocolates she was holding and looked down scared to see your reaction

"Do you wanna be my valentine?"

"......of course"

".....R-really?"

"Obviously, you're great min, you're pretty, nice not to mention incredibly smart, why wouldn't I agree?"

"S-so you like me?"

"I think like isn't strong enough"

"........you don't mean you....."

"Love you? Yeah min, of course I do, like I said before, you're incredible and I love everything about you"

"...................."

"H-huh min are you OK......you look...spaced out"

"S-sorry, I just didn't expect it to go this well, so are we......a couple now?"

"Sure......at one condition"

"....w-what is it?"

"Can I......see your eyes?"

Min's pale skin became almost completely red at your request, but she still gave you a silent nod to make you understand she agreed.

"Thanks"

You used your hand to lift min's bangs away from her face and were met with her beautiful purple eyes

"Your eyes are so beautiful, I love seeing them just like I love you"

Min blushed even more as you retracted your hand and wrapped it around the box of chocolates again

"So now we are officially a couple, do you mind going on our first date today? I bet they do some cool stuff for valentine's day around town"

"Y-yeah I'd love nothing more"

"Great, see you then there"

You once again got closer to the student and kissed her cheek, making her explode into an even redder color than earlier, before turning around and waving at her

"Happy valentine's day"

Min couldn't even answer as she kept her hand on her cheek, still a bit shocked

"........y/n........."

She smiled incredibly brightly and giggled a bit, so happy to have finally found a lover and especially a person who could see and love her for who she actually was

"Happy valentine's day to you too"

[receivedhope]

An embarrassingly deep dive into the Klaine Animal duet

I did a personal ranking of Klaine duets and ended up at my pick for number one being Animal. Not that it was a surprise to me in any capacity, because it's one of my favorite Glee covers, but it did prompt me to try and word why I love this duet the most. And while saying "it's a good song and a cute performance" and leaving it at that would suffice just as well, I enjoy rambling wayyy too much.

First off: I am genuinely surprised it is not a more common number one pick?

While I am a total layman when it comes to music (I can only confidently say if I liked a song or not, it is beyond me to try and critique anything on a more technical level) I do think Kurt and Blaine both sound really good and complement each other well here, with the Warbler arrangement putting an interesting twist on an already good song.

I also think the performance itself is so carefree and works flawlessly as a music video on its own. The entire warehouse scene is really well shot and has a distinct color grading to it - one of my favorite shots in almost the entire show is the Crawford Country Day girls' knee socked legs framing Blaine when he gives his speech about how they need to be scream-worthy for regionals. I think it's a very playful shot, getting Blaine between the girls' legs, lol. I also like the foam machine, which is honestly just funny to me and I like thinking this somehow references the Jonas Brothers' foam spray stunt from the late 2000's - which just ties the more innocent, one-sided love and boyband appeal of the song and performance (represented by Kurt) with the more raunchy interpretations of the lyrics, explicitly chosen for the purpose of being sexy with a foam machine complete (represented by Blaine).

Animal is also just a surprisingly innocent song despite the context, since it captures a crush that is about to get serious and the yearning and uncertainty that comes with - my friend and I were talking about Klaine duets and after she mentioned this it clicked into place (and inspired this post).

Because Kurt is leaning so much more on the cute side of things rather than sexy that even when singing "you're just a cannibal and I'm afraid I won't get out alive" I buy that he's talking about exposing his heart and feelings to Blaine, a boy he's still trying to figure out - even if one with a dirty enough mind could interpret that line, in a vacuum, to be about sex.

(As a side note, it bears repeating that Kurt is such A CUTIE here. It's okay Kurt, I think you're sexy in a very adorable and virginal way.)

I actually forgot myself that Animal's lyrics can be considered kinda more flirty and dirty if you squint? And funnily enough, Animal is not as inappropriate as several other songs Blaine picks to describe softer feelings. I like the thought of Blaine choosing it as a "sexy" song and forgoing the "will they won't they" one sided love the song is actually about, to describe a more animalistic urge to "not sleep tonight".

Meanwhile Kurt sings it much more innocently. Partly, we know that Kurt has faced a lot of issues with his sexuality and that he loves romance and marriage. Even though we only get confirmation later in on the episode that he is actually uncomfortable with sex to begin with, we can already sort of deduce that based on how we saw him act around Finn and Sam - I don't want to digress too much, but Kurt was very far from a "sexual predator" considering his wildest fantasies boiled down to another boy singing him a love song and kissing him or that the showers is just a place for him to check what shampoo Sam uses and if it's right for his color treated hair - as well as how he is pretty consistently set up as the antithesis of an average teenage boy. Sex is the last thing on his mind.

And when you rewatch his performance, you GET that he thinks this is only about one sided love and it also contributes to his attempts at being sexy be so goofy and a bit cringey. Not only is he uncomfortable, but he does not see the song in the same way Blaine (and perhaps everyone else in this scene) does. Or at least, it's how I explain away the strike contrast between his demeanor in Push It (confident, he even slaps Finn's ass lmao) and Toxic (playful and a bit detached) compared to Animal (very silly...<3) aside from his recurring and staple trait of losing all of his cool and measured manner when he is working to impress someone, rendering him just so very cringe, like when he tried to impress Burt in Laryngitis, Blaine in most of Season 2 and June Dolloway in The Back-Up Plan (most notably).

While I absolutely feel like I am almost trying too hard to explain some indecency into the lyrics (when it is really not what it's trying to convey) Blaine does consistently misinterpret the emotions of people around him and I'd argue, of his own as well. Would he really pick up on the emotional core of songs that easily?

While this may be an almost appropriate enough segue to talk about why Glee being a musical dramedy plays a lot into how one should interpret the songs and musical performances accompanying them at length, I will refrain for now and condense my thoughts on it: Glee (at least initially) follows the adage "when words are not enough to express your feeling, you sing, and when song is not enough, you dance" and the comedy usually takes a backseat (or is played straight faced) so the emotional state of the characters can shine and guide the story. I guess it is up to you how much you are willing to indulge in the characters themselves picking songs rather than the writers, but I find it much more satisfying to consider them part of the narrative and characterization just as much as you would dialogue, for example.

Thus, Blaine consistently choosing inappropriate songs is an interesting look into his character: he picks When I Get You Alone as a serenade song for Valentine's Day, Candles to sing with his fresh new boyfriend, It's Not Unusual to express his happiness over getting to spend even more time with his boyfriend, Cough Syrup as an inspirational song and not to mention the two break up songs he sings to (and with) his brother.

I don't think it is that much of a reach to think Blaine read "No, I won't sleep tonight / Oh-oh, I want some more / Oh-oh, what are you waiting for?" and went "Oh yeah this has crazy sex appeal".

If Baby It's Cold Outside is a look into how Blaine pursues Kurt, Animal is a look into how Kurt pursues Blaine and why I believe they are so prone to miscommunication.

In BICO, Blaine is crowding him and not taking his teasing protests seriously, which is pretty much what the song is about - a cheeky "we know we shouldn't REALLY do this, but let's anyway" duet from a time when women weren't allowed to express such forward interest. It, coincidentally, fits really nicely with the narrative of two gay school boys alone in some common room who end up flirting, despite the society they live in harshly discouraging them to do so and would not let them perform the song together. You know, as two artists.

Later, however, we find out that Blaine can't easily differentiate Kurt's teasing from his hard no's, so he interprets all of Kurt's actions, someone naturally impish, to be sarcastic most of the time. I don't think it is an entirely off-based assumption by Blaine, but since he is not exactly the best at reading people in the first place, it's even harder to discern for him how Kurt feels, who is more subtle about his emotions than most people.

But it works this time because Kurt is into Blaine, is teasing him and wants him to crowd him.

Kurt has a tendency to never really say word for word what he expects of Blaine so Blaine takes everything Kurt says either at face value or tinted by Blaine's own wants and needs - I firmly believe the scene in the Lima Bean from TPPP is the first time Kurt actually does come out and say he seriously wants Blaine to transfer (and why Blaine drops everything to do so rightaway). Or why such controversial scenes that can turn people off this pairing entirely, like the car scene of TFT or the entirety of their DWS plot, could happen. They always had pretty severe communication issues.

Which is why when the song ends with them sitting down so close to each other, Kurt almost expects a confession after such an undeniably flirty duet (you did NOT make it all up in your head, Kurt!) but Blaine would rather run away from the sudden closeness (and ambiguity) instead and promptly exits. He is not there yet to recognize his own feelings.

Meanwhile, everything Kurt does in Animal is a clumsy attempt at seduction (which he has no experience at). He does high kicks, rolls his hips, tries to stick his tongue out as much as he can when singing the words and is not put off by, or even registering Blaine's worried and confused glances at him.

Kurt has a tendency to be so romantic it dips into delusion. We see this a lot with Finn in S1 and until The Lamp Incident of Theatricality, Kurt is ascribing romantic undertones to Finn's actions very generously and guards what he wants to see of Finn very closely to his heart (a knight in shining armor devoted to him), shielding it from the cruel pain of reality (Finn being an easy-going and nice, straight guy who is very susceptible to peer pressure and a bit too dumb). You can see this the best in Home, when Kurt shows off a bunch of swatches to Finn very proudly and Finn manages to break the illusion for a bit - telling Kurt he has a cowboy wallpaper and ultimately, does not care about something Kurt does so deeply for. You can even see Kurt's expression shift at this moment - but then Finn ends up indulging him and randomly picks a color and that's enough for Kurt to consider it another common interest they can share, going back to fantasize about their future shared room's decor.

The lyrics of Animal are just much more relevant to Kurt than they are to Blaine, even if the lines "It's getting heavy and I wanna run and hide / I wanna run and hide" are some of the most Blaine lyrics ever.

I think Animal also stays relevant even until the next time we see Kurt trying to seduce Blaine in S6 - especially with the first line of the song being "Here we go again", setting up this cyclical nature of the relationship the song is about right away - they get close because they move each other down to their cores and want more, until they get sick of each other again, only to then go back to the pining stage - not their first time at this either, because they have already cycled through this in S4.

"And I won't be denied by you / The animal inside of you" may also be some of the most Klaine lines I have ever read, because their relationship lies on the foundation of sentimentality and this inexplicable, deep attaction to each other that regularly overrides common sense.

I also love that in-universe, Blaine kinda already made Kurt his duet partner (since they ARE technically training for regionals here) and also that he did not give a FUCKKKK about any of the other 15 or so warblers.

No notes, 10/10, five stars, etc etc, if Animal has 0 fans I am dead.

[skimmingmilk]

reread Archie issue 4 where Sonic and Tails fight about Tails dad in prison and Sonic hooking up w Fiona and was wondering if you'd ever have them fight like that in your work? Admittedly your Unleashed fic is one of my favorites because they're arguing, even if a large part was due to Sonic being more influenced by negative emotion. I love all your work, that one just stands out to me most because of the tension!

Hi anon, I'm assuming you're talking about the House of Cards story arc?

First, thank you! I'm glad moments like that in my writing stand out to you <3 I enjoy writing tension as much as I do comfort, lol.

Now, I haven't read much Archie myself. I've heard there are some good stories in there, but I just had a hard time getting past the art style in the earlier issues, even as a kid, so didn't ever get into them. I do know of Sonic and Tails's fight though, and I have to admit, I'm not the biggest fan. For me, it feels like a missed opportunity to have them fight about something that actually makes sense for them to be at odds over.

Sonic and Tails don't fight or argue that often, so when they do I feel like it should be more meaningful. I really can't see either of them making the decision that they did which led to that fight. It's just not believable to me, and maybe it's because I didn't read all of the build-up in the issues beforehand, but to me there are more satisfying ways to put them on opposite sides of an issue that fits their characters better. But that's just my perception of them. Others may feel differently!

That being said, it's probably safe to say I won't have them fight like that in my fics xD I don't really like when they fight fight, and they don't like it either! I like to give them opposing conflicts or disagreements, but they both love and respect each other too much to let it get much beyond that.

They can get frustrated with each other, they can want or need some space, they can snap at each other in the heat of the moment, but it’s all so brief. Tails is more likely to hold grudge, sure, but Sonic won’t. It’s not worth it to him. Sonic might be said to have a "quick temper" but he doesn't really tend to dwell on things. If Tails makes him mad, it’s a matter of minutes before he’s brushed it off and moved on. Water under the bridge. And while Sonic’s not great at apologizing, he’s very good at making it hard to stay mad at him. It helps that whatever he did was likely unintentional, he rarely wants to hurt someone’s feelings (unless it’s Eggman lol). All it really takes for Tails to “get over” the occasional spat is for Sonic to just see him. Meet him where he’s at.

Even in the Unleashed fic, they're snappy with one another because they're both sleep-deprived and Tails is reacting to stress with more stress, while Sonic's reacting to the stress by flat out ignoring it's existence. As soon as Sonic realizes Tails is actually upset though? He's backing down, he's not pushing any more buttons. He doesn't want to be on the other side of an issue from Tails, he wants to be right there beside him. So they can get through it together.

There'll definitely be more moments like that between them, because I do love the tension, too, but in terms of putting them in a position where they'd physically fight each other or that actually threatens their bond? That's probably not going to happen. At least not when either of them are in their right frame of mind. Tails knows there's no way he'd win a physical fight with Sonic, and Sonic also knows this. Or, well, Tails might win, but only because Sonic would refuse to hit him xD I'm sorry, for me, there's no universe where Sonic thinks beating up his little brother is an a-okay way to solve any conflict with him. Archie might not have the bullying backstory for Tails (I don't think it does?), but since my fics do, Sonic would never intentionally lay a hand on him, even in self-defense. If Tails is mad enough to hit him, then Sonic figures he's probably got a good reason for it.

Thanks for the ask!