#I know some of y'all are here too <3< /div>
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Hey guys! I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while now but I’d like to post more consistently on my main blog here–not like art or anything, that’ll be on my art blog. But just to talk about things that come to mind, share some fun facts about myself, the games I like, or stuff that is related to my art. So as I’m writing this I’m gonna schedule posts that’ll pop up every day around noon, if I start with a whole bunch of topics prescheduled, I won’t have to worry about writing something every day. Thinking about using a new tag to categorize this–all of my ramble posting will go under #MarbarTattles Sooo yeah! Expect a new post tomorrow…about what? Who knows!
#MarbarTattles#just something new I want to do because I feel like I don't put myself out there enough#I'm very active on discord with a small group of friends but that doesn't mean that's all of my friends#I know some of y'all are here too <3#I have always struggled with talking about myself because I'm more of a listener#but crossing my fingers this is a new habit I can keep up with#....I also struggle with making new habits LOL
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I love yapping about Alpha and Pebble being a little bit toxic for fun but I created a relationship analysis on accident while yelling at a friend about them (said friend has no fucking clue who I was talking about) so anyway, have 500 words of me rambling about Alpha and Pebble and why they are the way that they are:
edit: tagging @wrathofrats because they are like one of the biggest reasons I went down this rabbit hole
Alpha looks down on most of his packmates but not out of malice. He has a certain natural authority, being one of the oldest ghouls still topside. His mind works on the concept of strength and dominance. He’s not entirely just mean to his packmates, he simply sees his natural authority as something that elevates him. Again there is no bad intention whatsoever, he loves his pack more than anything. That arguably makes his “superiority” even more prominent. He has to watch out for them. When he was summoned the ghouls were treated like shit. Much like back in the pits, they had to fight for their right to exist everyday. Proving their value to the clergy over and over again because if they weren’t useful, what was stopping them from sending them back? Alpha loved Secondo but subconsciously never forgave him for letting his pack be ripped to shreds over and over again. Logically he knew Secondo tried, it cost him not only his status as papa but eventually his life.
Maybe knowing all that explains Alpha and Pebbles relationship.
When Pebble was summoned he looked haggard and frail, not unlike any previously summoned ghouls but something was different. Alpha didn’t quite understand why but he felt the natural impulse to take a stand between the vulnerable earth ghoul and the members of the ministry present. He wouldn’t let them get close, he couldn’t let them hurt him. Eventually Omega managed to take Pebble to the infirmary. Still, Alpha wouldn’t leave his side, growling at siblings and only letting Omega get close enough to provide the needed care.
Pebble was recovering quickly but he stayed rather small. Earth wasn’t around anymore to assess his magical capabilities and the infirmary was too far from any form of nature for Pebble to make it known. So to Alpha that meant he needed to teach the ghoul how to stand his ground against the clergy. If he couldn't defend himself with his fists or his element he should at least have his words. After a few weeks of Alpha essentially bullying the poor ghoul, he started to shoot back. He unknowingly created a monster, as Omega liked to say.
That's how their complicated relationship started. Alpha giving him shit to try and help him survive in the long run but Pebble not really needing that because, as it turns out Pebble was strong and confident in his magic, quickly proving to be one of the strongest earth ghouls the abbey had ever seen.
Long after the last ghoul was banished, Alpha still had a hard time letting go of his past compulsions. It got easier over time. Seeing the pack he loved so much develop without the fear and apprehension he had grown used to. Despite everything, his tough-love-act almost turned into a coping mechanism. A pattern he’d fall back into every now and then. The only ghouls who’d put up with him then were Omega, who would just talk him out of it with his therapy bullshit, and Pebble. Pebble, who knows how to handle it, who knows that Alpha loved him not despite but because of the way he’d act and Pebble who understood.
#i dont even know what this is#character analysis with some angst and relationship sprinkled into it or something#they mean so much to me like y'all dont understand#this is way too long idk if anyone is interested enough to read all this lmaooo#also maybe one day the brain will allow me to write more angst around ghouls being banished cause lord do i have evil thoughts#:3#the band ghost#ghost bc#ghost#ghost band#ghoul thoughts#alpha ghoul#pebble ghoul#omega ghoul#shitghosting#nameless ghoul#idrk what else to tag here
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#sketch :3#Lies of P#i love lies of p btw#can i tell y'all about my journey. lemme tell y'all about my journey...#despite ravenously devouring whatever scraps of Prettyboy and Yaoi fromsoft mercifully throws me in their games#[comma]#(they don't know i live here i just cower at their feet awaiting that which most would not even call nourishment)#i did not think i would like lies of p for some reason.#mostly bc entirely different developer + this mc twink is a lil TOO palatable...#i thought “where are the snake feet? where is the decay? what about limbs horribly charred by lightning?”#ALAS...........#i tried it. the gameplay pulled me in. the aesthetic was strong. cohesive. the story was solid. and then i learned of Carlo... of Romeo....#the Angst........................#and that was the End for Me...
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not to be dramatic but will I ever know peace
#will i????????#i taught this boy to waltz. i taught this boy to communicate his emotions. i taught this boy to not be afraid of vulnerability and honesty.#not to take credit for it ALL but i DID teach him some things and i know because he sure as heck did not do those things before#maybe i should get a t shirt for this. i made it through heartbreak number 3 and all i got was this shirt#not to besmirch his good name but this boy hasn't got a CLUE y'all i can't even tell you#in the same conversation he essentially said yeah you're too old for me and im not attracted to you but if you were a few years younger i'd#consider it he also said. also you're really pretty you smell really good if you want someone to dance with i'm here#and there's this dress you wore before which you look really good in so you should wear it again!#and it has been a roller coaster ever since#genuinely has NOT got a single clue i can tell he was trying hard in that conversation to not freak out but MAN#at risk of sounding self righteous i don't think i deserved half the stuff that's happened since!
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just thinking thoughts
#hmm… sappy moment rn but#y'all have given me so much over the past few years and it helped me get through so much shit#like i never would've posted or continued writing if it wasn't for all the love i got on my stuff (or maybe i would yk but i wouldn't post#any of it)#and i've had so much fun creating all these stories and characters – ruin you cmi atrw c&f etc etc#like 3 years ago i never would've thought anyone would love these silly ideas my brain comes up with so much#support them and be kind about them and also give ME as a person so much love?? ykwim? like im not used to this much affection#but i'm so thankful :') i do feel valued here… and i hope life stays gentle enough for me to be able to finish all this#like to finish cmi and all the other stuff i want to share before i leave this place… i hope the passion never fades#and that y'all stick around too <3 that whenever i do leave some day i don't regret not finishing something#but go with a content heart and with the hope that my stuff will be loved even when im away and the blog's archived#y'all are amazing :') it was easier to hold on over the years truly#sigh yeah that's it.. this got very long i know but if you read it all – ily :') <3#maybe dl?? maybe not let's see
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I love making art where the target demographic is literally just me
#she is sooo thingy#she's literally just a little guy#literally gnawing on her right now <3#also I know you don't wear limb braces over your clothes but I put too much effort into it to not include it#this is entirely self indulgent but I figured some of y'all would enjoy it so here you go <3#my art#Tara tag#horror tag
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inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth
#���rori all of these are your faves how can there be a bad answer” well I still have an internal ranking on some of these#and if all of you pick an option that I think pales in comparison to the others. well. hm#I know what's gonna sweep though because two of these are niche as hell and 4 maybe 5 of these are things you people don't follow me for#fun fact I actually had to scrape my brain to make sure I couldn't come up with any more#I am unintentionally very picky on what is a favorite apparentlyyyy#I also just don't watch/read enough stuff these days so there's that#AND I NEED LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO KNOW THEY'RE STICKING AROUND#so like. I have some options but I don't KNOWWW if they're sticking yet#but this feels like such a small poll lmao#also no sapphics on here this is actually cause I hate women-#NO. JOKING. zelink is here. I almost put gideon and harrow but I'm in a perpetual state of not having finished tlt#and I couldn't put nebetta and darya I was drawing the line at 2 tbos ships. well. actually. changed my mind#not editing these tags actually you guys can see my thought process#WAIT AND SAYMARI. FUCK. I LITERALLY MADE A PLAYLIST FOR THEM I LOVE THEMMM#ok. is 4 tbos ships too many. hmm#I said 2 of these are niche now four of these are niche it's really the “which tbos pairing is your fave” poll#THIS POLL IS SO FUNNY IT'S SO SELF INDULGENT I HAVE TO TAKE OUT AT LEAST ONE TBOS SHIP#I should add one more general one...#cause I do actually want genuine and varied answers I gotta give y'all options so they don't all pool at the first two#I also almost put ellie and abby on here.. that would've been so funny four popular 1 rarepair 3 super niche ships#ellie and abby are soooo interesting to me though so of course the thought of them having something horrible going on together compels me#and they are one of my 3 favorited ao3 tags... they deserve a place...#ok well while I debate on that I'm putting akutagawa and atsushi on here I admittedly have only had like two months of exposure to them#but it is enough I can tell they are so crazy to me#the way my tags are just me overthinking everything on what is supposed to be a fun and silly poll... no one does it like me I'm afraid
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happy birthday Wil <3
#I'll tryto. draw something tomorrow#technically today#and happy anniversary to e-chem and vol#........... I'll try to draw something for y'all too. ajhasjdjdjj#Wil is now 'About 500 or so' and 1#They don't really have An Age . neither do I#all we know age-wise is that we are Very Infinitely Old. probably immortal in some way#but system-wise! Wil is now 6!#He's existed here for 6 years! How amazing <3#I.. love him . so very much. <3#pk;m Dark🗝️🥀
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maybe it's to maintain a sense of tension & turmoil that would eventually reach an explosive peak, a sense of tug-of-war, a back-and-forth to hammer home the ideals they want to deliver and for the viewers to chew on, but although these arguments regarding hiroshi & his stance as a man torn between his loyalty for his country & the loyalty for his Filipino friends and lover is of course important, how they write these scenes & the points they present from this week alone is getting too repetitive...? literally the argument scenes from last night & tonight between adelina & hiroshi is basically the same; the ideas were the same, the dynamics were the same: the aggressive, radical adelina, bristling rage and fear over the injustices she's seen thus far, and the cautious, inspiriting hiroshi, all hopefulness and reassurance one moment as a lover, defensiveness and sternness as a japanese soldier in another. this debate will be ever-present ofc, it is one of the series' biggest conflicts, but it is unfortunately so easy to tell when it is a.) being pulled up as a main topic to move the plot along / be a necessary conflict for character development/introspection / be the conflict to deliver the morals & messages the writers want to send to their viewers, or b.) when it is being pulled up only for the drama and filler to pass the time. like watching the characters sit down to argue for 10 minutes, do other things for the plot for 2 minutes, then sit down again to argue for the next 20 minutes. lol.
#lots of things i wish they would soon improve but this 1 bothered me tonight..stopped watching halfway thru#these scenes would be like excellent breaks for when we need to take a breather to digest what's been going on#but at the slow pace they've set it it's just...nothing's been going on since like...4 days ago#except for eduardo's plot#it's just arguments..everywhere....all the time....over the same repetitive things#no progress nothing new to chew on despite there being drastic changes to their situation...? same vibes from the time they weren't occupie#yet lol. same dynamics mostly#only new points of debate is regarding hiroshi & his country vs friends conflict#& carmela being desperate to go back to comfort & luxury vs her family standing as firm as they could against the occupation#ahhh i am sooo not eloquent enough to express my full thoughts but like!!! fellow viewers if y'all r here u understand me right lmfoskadhsg#finding it hard to criticize bc i'm trying to make sense of where they r coming from#a.) seeing as unlike mcai this is a complete original story it's hard to see what direction they'd like to take it to#b.) fil shows really find it hard to break away from their normal formulas of family dramas & bastard children & love triangles :'))))#god the opportunity to tell a refreshing diff story but this is like gma show 67627627th but set in the japanese era....then mixed with 50%#of the mcai show feel#the editing the visuals the acting = good. 60% of the story line = can be compared to the hundreds of gma shows we've seen be4#anywy going off on a tangent...#c.) i can understand the slow pacing as them trying to establish the settings & the feel of that era so that the more intense tragedies-#later on would hit harder#but again. few scenes feel like they're dragging on for too long. some scenes & themes r too repetitive#need to see something differenttt something fresh something developing. something moving & feeling & connecting w/the audience#need to see more of the Philippines & the Filipino people in the 40s!! not the same afternoon prime drama shot in intramuros#need to see their messages staring into our souls instead of just being words uttered in tears#all this to say....flop era this week tbh sorry#EXCEPT FOR MAX COLLINS & HER LIKE. 3 MINS SCREEN TIME. MAX COLLINS I LOVE U QUEEN#rambles#pulang araw#putting this in the main tag i KNOW some ppl out there would feel the same & can explain this better lol i swear????
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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol
#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p#man I fucking hate this webbed site#would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO#this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj-#I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now ://#also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3#in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol#at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work#so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd-#someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ#to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj#the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im -#not afraid of#also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33#also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3#im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh#Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover
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hey tumblr, thanks for recommending me a TERF post "based on my likes." I hope the hour I spent blocking as many people as I could bear in the notes is enough of a hint for you.
#i've seen some shit this morning y'all#like it was one of those posts that i initially agreed with but then alarm bells went off in my head at some of the phrasing#the post was about how 2-year-olds and 3-year-olds don't have a concept of gender yet because they're too little#followed by 'amazing it's almost like telling kids what boys and girls are will help them understand'#so i checked the notes and it was rampant with terfs#the main post was never tagged as anything though someone just posted a twitter screenshot#i need to find the terf tags post thing cuz i didnt have time to block before but i guess i do now#now i'm paranoid about how much of my stuff has been this shit and i never realized#anyway be careful guys it's fucking BAD out here#dimond speaks#tw transphobia#tw transphobes#and like i agree- 2 and 3 are too young for this stuff since the gender binary is so fucking strong#of course girls can play with dinosaurs if they want that doesn't make them boys#but kinds will understand that the more experience and knowledge they gain of the world around them#they barely know they're sentient yet of course they're gonna get confused#but once they DO get a better handle on what gender is then some of them are gonna realize that being a boy was the right answer all along#you cannot make that judgement for them#and also like no harm no fowl if they DO think they're trans for a while? like what's wrong with that??#this shit is complex as fuck and i do not expect a 3-year-old to get it okay?#took me til i was about 15 to even know trans people existed at all and a couple more months to realize i was one too#and i'm fucking dumb like i'm not a good metric to go off of#but even if 3-year-olds aren't going to understand that's where you as the parent have to help them understand it#but little by little#like as teenagers and adults we can just look something up and tada! there's the answer!#kids can't do that yet they DO need parents to help them#those parents just also have to be aware of how they're teaching their kids#there's a difference between 'girls like pink and boys like blue' and 'and your age it literally doesn't matter but girls like she/her'#and that was a terrible example but i'm not a parent so#you figure it out
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me reading the tags everyone left on my art
#kicking my feet twirling my hair#hi did you know I love my friends with my entire heart and soul#but seriously thank you everyone for being so kind and supportive and to y'all who let me send ya wips along the way 🥺#I admittedly wasn't too happy yesterday but it really made my night (and my morning) feel so special#I'm so thankful to everyone I've met who continue to be so wonderful every day. y'all are so loved and appreciated#and so powerful for sticking around me being unapologetically insufferably annoying <3#here's to seeing what all else we'll make and get ourselves into in the new year#much love to everyone#also I definitely noticed some things on that piece I would've liked to add/fix but OH WELL 😌💅#little things that only I would really notice and be bothered by and because it's for me anyway I'm not too concerned#once the canvas is closed it is not my problem anymore
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man y’all the loving hyunjin hours are so intense rn i feel like i have s omuch to say but i don’t even know where to BEGIN i just feel like i’m gonna explode or something </3
#carly.txt#just thinking abt hiatus things as i ALWAYS DO when i listen to lovestay y'all already saw me talk about this#but it's like. idk. loving someone hits different when u go through the wringer u know??#distance makes the heart grow fonder etc etc#it's just like. man. we really went thru it (hyunjin and stays as a collective) but we made it#and he's probably a better person for it even if it hurt at the time! and now we are in a more serious parasocial relationship <3#the fact that some of y'all weren't here for all that is so crazy to me it's going to be two years ago since then soon??#like time has gone by so fast#i remember crying so hard the first time i heard him LAUGH when he was back omg#it was in the song camp preview i remember this it was just such a relief#i remember i was doing his birthday countdown at the time of the scandal too i was going crazYYYY#i almost didn't continue it but i was like. u know what i'm still happy he was born. so let's do it#idk idk i'm honestly glad some of u didn't experience it but i'm also glad that some of us that did experience it are still here asdfsadsd#i think it's really good that he has fans that went through the hiatus period supporting him and that he has fans that came after that too#like!! he is just as lovable if not moreso than ever and i'm glad!! so many people agree with that#i'm just like idk. really proud of him?? and stays for making it through that time period#and for everyone growing in ways they wouldn't have if it didn't happen#i like to think good came out of it too in a lot of ways#i could talk about this forever and i probably will again next time i listen to the damn song but SDSDGSDDG#i need to go to sleep now#i can think of more to say actually but i'll STOP NOW#tl;dr i love him a lot and am really thankful to everyone that supports him today no matter how long you have#i hope he feels that love and can accept that he's worthy of it every day#more to say on this too but enough enough#ty for listening
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happy new years guys!! i hope you're all having a wonderful day/night so far <3
i'm not sure about everyone else, but it really doesn't feel like a typical new year! i think with the heaviness of the mars & mercury rx (especially considering the signs are inconjunct, which makes things extra tough), it kind of just feels like another day!! if you have a day chart, you might feel extra impacted by the mars retrograde as compared to night chart babies. definitely take it easy if you're feeling off/stressed/etc, and perhaps use january as a time of reflection, and focus more on putting plans into action in march! (or, in january - if it feels right for you!! but if you feel overwhelmed or lack motivation for any sort of resolutions or planning, just know you aren't alone, the sky right now is a bit "heavy")
personally i tend to celebrate the new year as per the astrological new year (aka first day of aries szn as the new year) which feels extra right because that'll be around the time mars is no longer rx nor in the shadow period!!!
anyway!! how are you all feeling?! any thoughts about 2022/2023, plans/etc?! personally the only thing on my mind rn is genshin impact girl groups, and relaxing as much as possible in january until mars and mercury chill out!!! 2022 was rough!!
#luna.txt#would luv to hear how u guys are feeling!!!#esp how ur feeling + ur rising/dominants?!#if u have any q's about astrology or current transits or just anything im here!!!#im working on some posts finally!! and i decided im gonna offer readings in january!!!#ive spent the last month reading even more astro books#ive studied astrology for so many years but this month i somehow feel like#ive learnt more in a month than i have in 8+ years studying omg#not really but you know what i mean fdjlkfjdf#i might make a post asking y'all preferences re: readings?! or maybe ill just go for it idk#idk about u guys but 2022 was one of the hardest years ever for me??#and it was mainly bc internal? like not that many external things happened idk??#it was a 12h solar return sun year for me.. hated that!#worst sr sun ever for me#my panic disorder relapsed right when mars rx entered it's shadow omg its been so rough#but starting to feel better slowly!! but still hard to learn how to live w/ panic again!!!#part of why ive been so ghost from this blog :((#BUT I MISS IT<3#i also considered making a girl group and maybe genshin tumblr too!!#cause i have like 1.2 friends who like that stuff and i need to yell abt it anyway#ANYWAY HI if anyone feels like talking in my ask.. come rant abt ur year or astro or anything ily
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Today I accomplished some important life things. Feeling exhausted but proud of myself. Recovery is a long road, but for today, at least, I feel like I'm finally making real progress.
#life has been stressful and very up and down lately#i haven't been all here even when i'm posting recently#just a lot going on and in my head#so apologies if it's seemed like i was ignoring anyone#it wasn't intentional#i've been in a weird headspace#if i've reblogged too much stuff and been sort of a mess i'm sorry#i've just been feeling a lot of pressure#things have been hectic#i've been stumbling some#today i got my feet under me again#hopefully i can be more present and participatory#thank you to everyone still tagging me or sending messages#i'm sorry i've been slow to respond#ugh i'm rambling too much again#i just want y'all to know how much i appreciate all of you#even if it hasn't looked that way lately#i'm sorry#<3 <3 <3
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YO!!! for SO long I've been losing my mind trying to find evidence of one of the birthday songs my family sings because I see it NOWHERE and I know we didn't come up with it ourselves, but I couldn't find it anywhere and I finally located it!! it's the birthday song from it's a big big world my GOD mystery finally solved I can finally rest. much better than the typical birthday song that is the birthday song to me <3
#shitpost#it's a big big world#y'all this has been bothering me for months if not years#i had to find it via someone mentioning it several comments down in a random thread on some random site#but that is the birthday song to me <3#none of this happyyy birthdayyy tooo youuu shit#we r a 'count the candles on ur cake. smear ur name for good lucks sake!' household here#not just like. I chose it over that but that's the song I default to and think of for birthdays#also. it's a big big world feels like a fever dream#like I /know' I watched it but i have almost zero recollection of it#I think I was too little to rememebr it#but I remember this song#and the goodnight moon song#and I knew there was a sloth#but all the other characters? nothing baby#anyway. i can finally breath easier I know where the song came from now
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