#I know some are looking into surgery's to get their tubes tied

[the-fandom-crossroads]

Everyone is suggesting stocking up on morning after pills in case they get banned. And Yes! do that! But also if you do not plan to bare a child in the next few years look into long term birth controls.

Even Missouri never banned long term birth controls. They just make you take a pregnancy test before being prescribed it. So as long as you are not currently pregnant and want to avoid having a child during the next 4 years get on long term birth control.

Call Planned Parenthood today because the wait list is usually a month out for the earliest appointment. If they plan to attack abortion and birth control options day one you want to get prescribed them before jan. In case they make it incredibly hard to get prescribed it. But one doctor visit and they can prescribe you the Depo shot for a year. Depo is the least invasive option. If you go for one of the inserts those last years on their own. They just have the risk of slipping and you not know it until after you've become pregnant.

Depo; lasts 3 months, stops or lightens most periods, and income based PP charge 0-20 dollars for low income people to get it every 3 months. You qualify for low income even/especially without insurance. At full price it's 70-90 dollars every 3 months. but if you make less than 30k a year you qualify as low income.

TLDR: Long term birth controls are less likely to be banned and at least will take longer to ban compared to abortion pills. Conservatives don't want to "kill the embryo" which is what they see morning after pills as doing. Long term birth controls stop the embryo from even forming. Look into the Depo or other options before Jan and get prescribed it so you are at least set for the next year.

[yan-lorkai]

https://www.tumblr.com/yan-lorkai/720655214474035200/good-evening-if-you-dont-mind-id-like-to-hear

Okay so what about this but the reader got a hysterectomy or got her tubes tied before they met without him knowing? How do you think the boys would react? Like let’s say they didn’t have the (new) surgery where you could transplant another woman’s uterus to get pregnant. What would they do if they found out she couldn’t get pregnant anymore?

☆ A/N: Interesting concept, I hadn't thought about it before :o. Wrote this for Malleus, Leona, Rook and Riddle. Let me know if you want a part 2 with other characters, darling!

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, pregnancy talk, hysterectomy, afab reader (no pronouns used).

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Malleus would be indifferent - not because he doesn't want a child with you. But because it is still possible for you two to have a biological child without you necessarily being pregnant, as dragon fae eggs can only be brought to existence through pure love. Though not in the conventional way, your child will be born as he did once, hatching from an egg, nurtured with the love you both feel. But, in the scenario that this possibility also couldn't happen, he would be devastated. He really wanted to have a family with you and it's just not possible anymore. His dreams are shattered and he needs a moment to recompose himself, you can hear thunders for days on end. Deep within he wished he had met you earlier, that he could keep you from making this surgery. But what's done is done. Though he wonders, could he regrown your uterus with his magic?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Leona is apathetic about it. It was not a priority as he liked having all your attention on himself, but even someone like him had imagined how your child would look like. Would they have your eyes and his smile? Either way, when you tell him that you got a hysterectomy due to health problems and couldn't get pregnant, he just kinda nods and goes on as if he hadn't heard that at all. It's not really a big deal to him. If you want a child so bad then you can always adopt one or two, even three or four.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Rook is so dramatic about it. He write many melancholic poems in your honour for some reason, coming from a big family you figured he would be more shocked or something. But he is chill with the news, just affectionately annoying you and draping himself all over you. After all he knows he can still tie you to him even without a baby. However he does daydream about you, fuzzy face from sleep and with bed hair, holding your baby at night, singing to make them sleep. He kinda wishes it was possible though, he wanted to be with you through each and every stage of your pregnancy. A pity.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Riddle is clearly unhappy with the news. Like, it is true that there are some diseases and syndromes that require partial or total removal of the uterus or cutting of the uterine tubes. Whatever your reason for having that surgery, Riddle respects that, he even asked you if you were suffering from something. But he still feels sad knowing that he won't be able to have children with you, though he will never tell you that to not burden you with his unnecessary thoughts. But it's noticeable, the way he sighs and stares at the wall for several minutes, or how happy he is when he can take care of his friends' children. It's obvious even. Every happy couple have a child but you two. So if you can't get pregnant, Riddle wants to adopt.

[joonkorre]

finished s3e7. absolute banger of an episode, said even more "wtf"s than last time but the tension throughout and how it tied everything up gave me the same high as s2 did. so spoilers (the way i just put everything out there for the previous episode reviews???? fandom etiquette where omg im so sorry to the 3 people who may be seeing this)

idek where they were going w chiyoh. like ok yall give me 2 east asian ladies, 1 died to propel will's drive for vengeance and 1 has some mysterious motivation that explains nothing that she does. the only thing she got going on is her steadfast sense of morality, which kept her from being manipulated by will (who's trying to convince himself that anyone can be primed by hannibal and is using the same tricks on her, poor thing) and let her focus on her goals, whatever tf they are. like good for her but.... what does she actually want???? whatever at least she looks cool.

the painting behind mason is so… ugh just in case the audience keke too much over his jokes and forget the type of mf he is lmao. and the surrogate convo between the verger siblings is so so fucking chilling dude I knew I KNEW right away what margot’s gonna find and it sent chills up my spine dude

I like how hannibal is unfazed by literally everything and discusses his being cooked and eaten with gusto and dare I say it, excitement. and I like how after a season of chasing after hannibal, that final betrayal of nearly getting his head cut open just made will so done w everything. did a complete 180. “you’re gonna eat him... w my face” and how he looks at hannibal and cordell as they talk….. get him out !!!!!

also: cordell. love his character. the perfect goon.

mason and his shitty fucking jokes. and just in case anybody wants to deny the homoerotic undertone of hannigram, let’s throw in that guy who ate his friend’s dick. lovely dinner topics.

loveeeeee that will bit out a chunk of cordell’s face and just how proud hannibal is in that moment. will just wants to get his lick back one last time, while hannibal’s still stuck in delulu land w/ them getting tortured + dying together, and takes will’s action as him being hannibal’s equal. he thinks they’re still friends/together and it’s soooooo funny

the branding scene + hannibal being tied up like a pig???? big day for subby painslut piggy hannibal truthers. I’m cheering for yall from the sidelines <3

the marlana + hannibal convo and him being broken free….. cinema. CINEMAAAA

the pig. good god the pig. knowing it’s coming didn’t prepare me for actually seeing it at all. and the fact that mason STILL mocked and denied margot of this one thing in this manner. god. the intercutting scenes of marlana getting the baby out + face off surgery are just chef’s kiss. so well edited that I genuinely believed will was done for like omg I woulda passed out if it’s not for mason’s face reveal. LOVE all the blood

white knight hannibal bridal carrying damsel in distress will???? don’t mind if I do 😋😋😋

marlana killing mason scene!!! margot w/ that fit, that hair, that shaky devastated enraged voice, and the tear-streaked mascara running down her face gives just the perfect level of drama. perfect killing-your-abusive-brother look. and the way they had time for hannibal to prostate milk mason ????? alana holding up a tube of sperm while the show censors the shit out of everything is so ?????? and yes YES CHEKOV’S EEL. after all the bj jokes of course he’d have to die that way. OF COURSE. although idk how they’re gonna have that baby but ig we’ll find out...

hannibal + chiyoh behind that window like they’re in a periodic table…. and hannibal moving toward that area between iron and silver…. CINEMAAAAAA

I see the teacup breaking as hannigram’s relationship + will’s becoming, esp since it’s superimposed over will’s head. bc it’s in his head, he’s making the logical leap to end hannibal’s hold over him, end whatever mania he was caught up in while trying to bait/chase hannibal. it’s done. read on reddit that hannibal’s notes full of physics equations may represent hannibal trying to calculate how the cup can feasibly come back together again or how he can turn back time to repair their relationship (both might as well mean the same thing). it can also represent the end of hannibal’s whimsy. they’re done touring the world and visiting museums and playing mindgames according to hannibal’s puppeteering. now they’re back in the wolf trap, back in the real world, where broken cups don’t mend themselves, where will decides that he wants nothing to do w hannibal and his whimsy anymore. they’re done.

I love how the season could’ve ended here as will guts hannibal the same way hannibal gutted will in s2: with surgical precision. he knows hannibal cares not for his life or death, and causing bodily harm upon him will only delight him more. so will goes for the heart. he knows himself well enough now to assert that he may tolerate killing, but he doesn’t have hannibal’s appetite. he won’t be hannibal’s pet nor friend. by exiling and forgetting him, will puts himself above hannibal as a god, and hannibal is helpless in his worship. he can do nothing but retreat as his offerings are rejected. and by god I’ve never seen him so completely hurt and devastated before. absolutely nothing has ever illicit such a reaction from him until will. jfc I HATE GAY PEOPLE WHY CANT YALL JUST BREAK UP NORMALLY

that was a good godfather II reference tho like omg

where the FAWK are will’s dogs. where’s my bby winston ????

love that jack’s back w the fbi !!!! will coming out and saying hannibal’s gone only for the little shit to emerge from the back like haiiiiiiii :3 girl UGH ik will was sick to his stomach likeeee

I cannot stop thinking about how it’s dark out at god knows what time. how hannibal sat behind will’s house in the snow like a stray dog recently abandoned by its newest benefactor and it can’t bring itself to leave, it won’t ever leave (girl don’t even get me started on that…. it will come back by hozier already got me in a chokehold). waiting for jack to arrive and turning himself in, denying jack the pleasure of actually subduing and capturing him. freeing chiyoh from her prison ig. AND getting his lick back at will. “I want you to know exactly where I am. and where you can always find me.” + the pettiest bitchiest look ever. it’s a pathetic, lowly declaration of bullheaded love born from spite, making sure will can never truly forget him and has to live w the knowledge of his location/fate in the back of his head. knowing full well will can’t help himself and are prolly gonna go find hannibal. once again I HATE GAY PEOPLE

jack looking at will w that smile/grimace on his face. I take it as him knowing that this is just another lovers’ tiff btwn hannigram and he’s basically an accessory to that lmao

100/10. once again a banger of an episode.

[professional-benaddict]

next part of the omegaverse au 🤍🤍 link to previous part. everything will be up on AO3 as well, so keep an eye out for that😌😌 @winterspiderpurrs

A month has passed, and Tony has not gotten better. He hasn’t gotten worse either, which Peter sees as a bonus.

The Alpha is still overly aggressive due to his high testosterone levels, and the doctors they have been consulting do not have any straights answers. The only thing they can offer is that Tony takes some pills, in the hopes of it slowing the testosterone production and thus helping Tony’s overall health.

But, Tony has not been consistent when it comes to taking the pills. And since they are dealing with hormones, it will be weeks or months before the medication will work properly. It is hard to stay focused and motivated to take them.

Besides, the Alpha is too busy tending to his Omega and his family.

Peter has been scheduled for surgery to have his ovarian tubes tied, which will leave him sterile. It will be done laprascopically, so he will only get a few small scars on his belly. The recovery time is drastically shorter than if he were to have his entire uterus removed.

Peter is happy with his choice. Tony and Peter are more than ready to settle for the three kids they have. Besides, Peter’s body could not handle another pregnancy. Nor does it seem like Tony can handle the extra pressure of another child.

Tony takes time off from work for Peter’s surgery, and for the week after. Ben and Harley do not have classes on Peter’s surgery day, and they both said they wanted to come with to support their dad. The boys also promise to visit often to help out, but they do have some classes they cannot miss later in the week. Morgan will be staying with Pepper and Happy again, at least for a few days.

Everything is settled and ready, and Peter, Tony and the two boys head to the hospital.

The Omega gets checked in and soon enough he has his own room to wait in. Tony helps him get changed into the gown.

“You nervous?” Peter asks his Alpha.

Harley and Ben went to get some snacks, so they have a moment to themselves.

“No. I mean, yes, but you’re the one going under the knife. Aren’t you nervous?”

“No, not really. It’s just a few snips, they said. And I’m excited to have one less thing to worry about, you know?”

“Yeah.” Tony sighs, leaning down to smell at Peter’s neck. The Omega leans into the touch and rubs at his Alpha’s neck. “I just want this over. So we can be okay.”

“We will be okay. We’ll get you fixed too.”

Peter feels Tony stiffen and pull away. But, before he can ask about it, the boys return with snacks. And a short moment later, a nurse arrives saying she will take Peter to get prepped.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait here, so say your goodbyes. Just for now.” The nurse smiles gently.

Tony, Ben and Harley all kiss and hug Peter.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry!” Peter smiles brightly.

Harley, Ben and Tony remain behind, watching as Peter is wheeled out on his bed and away from them. Ben gives his younger brother a pat on the back, then looks over at their father.

“Papa, he will be okay. Yeah?” Ben says.

But, Tony’s not listening. The blood rushing in his ears is too loud.

[catofthecanals289]

Femur for the wip game? ❤️

well some of you know i am a sucker for medical drama so tis is essentially that, written ages ago

--

“Daniel, please,” Max finds himself whispering.

It’s not the first time. He’s said it countless of times over the last three days, ever since the doctors told them  just how far the infection had progressed, that really, even with pumping Daniel full of all kinds of antibiotics, chances were that it wouldn’t heal.

They’d talked about sepsis, about necrosis, the bone dying, about Daniel dying, about-

-about another surgery. A third one.

About amputation.

And Daniel had said ‘no’, stubborn and proud and stupid, and Max hates him for it, more than just a little.

Please,” he repeats, louder this time, stroking Daniel’s sweaty curls away from his forehead, his voice breaking over the word. “Please, just let the doctors do it.  Please.”

Daniel’s eyes flutter open, pupils dark and glassy and a little bit unfocused, even as he shifts to look at Max, a soft sigh coming from his mouth.

“Maxy, the antibiotics-”

“-are not working,” Max cuts him off, desperate, vision getting blurry yet again. He takes Daniel’s clam hand, pressing his lips to his knuckles. “They are not. We tried, we gave it time, but it is not- It is not working. So please.”

Please let them save you.

Please let them make you better.

Please let them cut off your leg.

“Max,” Daniel just says, voice quiet, barely there.

His eyes are closed again, talking and having them open too much with the infection wreaking havoc on his body. It’s too much. There are so many tubes connected to the line leading into Daniel’s neck, that scary looking system of IV lines and pumps and still they can’t get the fever to go down, they can’t make Daniel stronger, can’t make him better. Can’t keep him alive, they are saying, unless they amputated and Daniel doesn’t want that.

“I do not understand, Daniel,” Max says, a first tear, silent and unseen rolling down his cheek. “Why you won’t let them. It is just a leg. It is- It is not as important as you. As you living, I do not-”

But Daniel believes that the antibiotics will still work. That it’s going to be okay, somehow. That this won’t kill him even if all the people in white coats and scrubs are saying that it will. So Max has been begging him, just like Grace, like Joe, like Michelle, like Michael. But Daniel says he wants to give the medicine more time, says he wants to keep his leg, that the wants- That he wants to live.

“Then why are you being stupid,” Max whispers, tears dripping from his chin to the bedding below, words barely audible over the labored breath Daniel takes. “I love you. I love you so much, I do not care how many legs, I do not- Please. Daniel, please.”

He kisses Daniel’s knuckles again, wishing Daniel would open his eyes again,, would tell him okay, would tell him yes, would agree, would- would make him not a liar.

It’s Grace’s idea, Grace’s and Joes and Max hates it, but selfishly, he doesn’t want to lose Daniel.

"We’ll tell them that he said ‘yes’,” Grace had told Max just this morning, brown eyes so much like Daniel’s sad and determined. “When he’s no longer- When he can’t tell them ‘no’, we’ll say that he told us ‘yes’. And it’ll be okay then. It’ll be okay.”

“Please,” Max repeats, voice barely even there as he closes his eyes. Please forgive me.

[mcl4r3n]

coming out of horny jail to present u with … lando riding max while danny fingers lando’s pussy … danny calling lando a slut for begging for both of their dicks at the same time ….. and then sliding in alongside max from behind, tilting lando’s head back and kissing away his tears and swallowing his moans…. if someone does not write this im gonna go insane ��‍💫

So uh. Hey anon.

Here you go. :)

PWP very horny Max/Daniel/transmasc Lando for you. ♡ some cw: use of AFAB terms, mention of top surgery scars and mention of bilateral tubal ligation/getting tubes tied.

First time writing a trans character so if there's anything i messed up here please please message me so i can edit accordingly!

----

It's one thing to be wanted, Lando thinks, his mind going hazy. It's another thing to be wanted like this—

This, with his hands curling into Daniel's hair as he devours Lando's mouth; this, with Max's hands prying his thighs apart.

Lando's so wet he can feel himself leaking, can feel it drip down onto his perineum and coat the insides of his thighs. He's so wet that he has Max groaning it out loud, marveling there before Lando's screaming into Daniel's mouth, Max's tongue sliding firm and insistent on his clit.

He tries to breathe through it as Daniel's hands play with his nipples, the hard nub making him jolt with pleasure, the thinner skin of where his mastectomy scar casting a muted sensation before Max's tongue sliding into his cunt overwhelms him.

Lando loves summer break. He loves the hazy Spanish air that wafts through their open balcony doors. He loves the two men that touch him and kiss him like they're worshipping his body.

"He tastes so fucking good," Lando hears Max say, his voice raspy, before he puts his mouth back where Lando wants it.

"He always does," Daniel replies before turning his attention back to Lando, brushing a curl away from his forehead. "Don't you, baby? Always so sweet."

Lando knows it's a lie—he's tasted himself before, with the way Max loves to finger him and then force them into Lando's waiting mouth.

There's nothing sweet about him. Salty, almost bitter sometimes, but Max and Daniel never seem to mind. Sometimes it's almost like they compete to see who can make Lando come the most with just eating him out.

He winds his arm around Daniel's neck to kiss him again while he uses his other hand to keep Max's head where it is, gasping out now that Max has what feels like two fingers inside of him.

"Danny," he whispers when he pulls away for air. "Wanna—let me taste you."

Daniel always looks at him with soft eyes, and Lando knows that he's more than a little in love with him. The feeling is mutual.

"Anything you want," Daniel says before moving away to kneel beside Lando's head, his thighs splayed open, his hand keeping his dick steady before he feeds it into Lando's mouth, his tongue out.

This, Lando is good at. Has always been good at. He loves Daniel's cock, loves the feel of it, the shape of it, thick and just a little longer than average.

He keeps his eyes open, slanting his gaze to watch the way Daniel's pink, swollen mouth is suspended in an 'o' while Lando slides his tongue over the slit of his dick over and over again, mirroring exactly what Max is doing to his clit.

"Get him ready," Daniel manages to say, and without hesitation, he feels Max pull his fingers out of his pussy, and circle the ring of his asshole instead before pushing in slowly.

Lando's shout is dampened by the cock in his mouth but his body reacts regardless, his back arching off the bed, Max holding his thighs apart even though all Lando wants is to be filled up right now. His pussy clenches around Max's tongue, and his entrance around Max's fingers.

Daniel's hands are relentless, toying with his nipples, pinching hard enough that the pleasure borders on uncomfortable, but only just. He knows Lando's limits, knows how to work his body better almost as good as he knows how to drive the RB20.

Lando loses himself in all of it, sucking on Daniel while Max prepares him to take them both, desperate to come already. His thighs are so tense from every aborted orgasm, Max keeping him fully at bay.

He can't take it, can't wait anymore. He turns his head, Daniel's cock slipping from his mouth.

"Please, please, please, need you," Lando begs, pulling his right knee up to his chest while he tries to get Max to coax an orgasm out of him.

Max pulls away and Land would be disappointed if it weren't for the fact that Max is finally crawling up the bed to lie down next to him, his cock stiff and curving up to his belly.

"You can handle Daniel like that?" Max asks. As if there's even any doubt.

Lando doesn't respond with words, refuses to waste time anymore before he's turning in bed to throw his leg over Max, leaning in for a filthy kiss, tasting himself on Max's tongue before he's pushing up and rubbing his clit over Max's dick.

He feels himself get steadied with Daniel behind him, so Lando gets on his knees, straddling Max properly, before sinking down and feeling himself get filled up. It's almost like relief, being able to finally clench around him tight. He squeezes his walls for good measure, and Max's hand flies to his thigh before he throws his head back.

"Look at you, baby," Daniel says softly, his breath hot in Lando's ear, his hands cupping Lando's pecs, thumbs playing, gentle this time. "Such a perfect little slut for us, aren't you?"

"Only for you two," Lando huffs, his hips jolting when he feels Max's thumb press over his clit back and forth slowly.

Daniel's kiss on the back of his neck is almost chaste—so soft and at odds with the fact that he's rubbing the head of his cock on Lando's asshole, until finally—

"Fuck, yes, yes, fuck," Lando screams, when he feels Daniel slide in to the hilt.

He's completely full, and he feels euphoric, like his blood is laced with pleasure distilled now, and that's when Daniel moves, fucking into him relentlessly, the motion translating into him rocking back and forth while Max's cock makes his pussy throb with need.

Daniel takes control and he and Max are just along for the ride, the three of them losing themselves in a chorus of desperate expletives and the wet, primal sounds of bodies on bodies.

Lando falls back against Daniel's chest and he rests his head on Daniel's shoulder while Max continues his determined pressure on Lando's clit. They all move, Max fucking up into him while Daniel moans and bites into Lando's skin.

"Yeah? You like that? Have Maxy fuck a baby into you," Daniel says when Lando cries out at how good Max feels.

Max can't—neither of them can, he got his tubes tied when he got rid of his breasts—but it's still a fantasy the three of them like to pretend and play with. Lando's always loved being used and filled like this.

He feels them everywhere, feels his nerves come alive, and feels himself begin to crest over the apex of his own mounting pleasure, begging Max to not stop, to keep going, right there, right fucking there—

Lando sees stars when his orgasm hits him like a wave to his chest, his breathing erratic, his thighs quivering and tensing as he keeps coming, squeezing around the both of them and making them both lose their tempo, their hips now fallen out of sync, until finally Max is shouting as well, and Lando feels the wet, hot release trickle in disgusting squelches into his pussy that hasn't stop pulsating around him.

It's Daniel who comes last, his thrusting hard and sure and so fucking good while Lando stays safe and steady in his arms.

Lando comes so hard his hearing goes, the sound of their heavy breaths replaced by the ringing in his ears. He lurches forward slowly, and Max is there to catch him, lips on Lando's sweaty forehead almost immediately.

Daniel pulls out and Lando whines at the loss, at the way he's sure Daniel is looking, staring, really, as his and Max's come drip out of Lando.

"So good," Max whispers, his voice raspy now from all their shouting. "So perfect, baby."

Lando smiles into Max's skin, presses a kiss to the fat that layers over the tits that he adores.

He's almost asleep by the time he feels Daniel return with a wet cloth to clean all three of them up.

[clickerflight]

Whump week: "Tell me how to fix this"

@week-of-whump

Masterlist

Part 1

I don't think I've written the actual prompts into any of the bits I have ready and written. Like, word for word. I enjoy dancing around the words. IDK why and I'm not sorry. The two characters in this bit are in the same world as the 1st prompt. I wanted to introduce the two pairs before they knew each other.

Content: Surgery in a non-hospital setting, lots of blood, missing limb, removing a body modification, restrained, I honestly don't know how to tag this one

.................................................

Matsu had known this was a bad idea even before he started the surgery by Ralph’s side, but this was so much worse than he could have been prepared for. 

The woman laying on the table, a blanket tied across her hips and around the table at her request, bit hard into another blanket, grunting. She had her head turned away from where they were working, sweat dripping out of her hair. Her hair was shifting between colors in her pain, as was her eye color as she squinted at the far wall. 

Matsu looked back to what they were working on. Matsu might have been trapped in a world where the most advanced technology to be found were a few aqueducts, but he originally came from a modern world, cars, phones, toilets. Stars, how he missed toilets. But even being from a place like that, this was different. Complicated. 

The woman’s name was Kira. She had found her way into the village, a blanket tied to hide what Matsu had assumed was her left arm. She asked around for the surgeons, the only ones for miles and had been pointed to Ralph and Matsu’s home. The old man had let her in, Matsu had been pulled in to learn something from whatever this woman needed help with, and then she dropped the blanket that had been tied around her torso. 

Matsu had registered the metal socket on her shoulder where a prosthetic arm supposedly attached, the metal woven into the skin, it seemed, and he had also clocked the redness around the metal and the tightness around Kira’s eyes. 

“Usually, I’d get readjustments every few months with doctors to keep this from happening,” she’d explained. “But they don’t even have a steam engine around here. It’s going to kill me. I need it removed.”

She couldn’t be put to sleep for the surgery because she would need to help them get it out since she knew a bit about how it worked, and any other pain numbing mixtures and potions they had would make her woozy, so they gave her what they could, rubbed in ointments to numb the area a little, and started cutting. 

“Steady, Matsu,” Ralph said gruffly. The old man was laser focused on the task in front of him and Matsu nodded. The metal was almost threaded into Kira’s flesh, woven in deep enough that the numbing poultices couldn’t touch it. There was blood everywhere. 

“Alright,” Ralph said carefully. “I can see some of the inner mechanisms. I’ll reapply the numbing potion. Please explain to Matsu how to proceed.”

Kira spit out the fabric, teeth bared like a wild thing. “Matsu, what do you see.”

Matsu pulled the flesh gently down to look, holding his breath despite having a mask on to keep from breathing into the wound. “There’s a bar with screws going into the bone. I see a tube with some wires in it.”

“Do you see a little lever at my armpit?” she hissed. 

“Yeah.”

“Press that.”

Matsu did and there was a soft click. The exposed half of the socket folded up on a hinge so he could get to the screws and wires inside. 

“You’ll have to cut the release out of me,” Kira said, now looking at the socket, her expression now fierce, but Matsu could see a hint of fear in her eyes. 

“We’ll numb it so it won’t hurt as much-”

“No, I’m not worried about that.”

“What are you worried about?”

“Those wires,” she said, eyeing the tube. “I’m trying to remember what order they need to be pulled out in so we don’t damage my spinal cord.”

Matsu stared at her. “What, are we playing ‘defuse the bomb’ with your ability to walk!?”

“Unfortunately.”

She groaned as Ralph started dabbing the numbing potion into the wounds. 

“Let’s start with removing the catch here. Then, we can sort out the wires.”

Matsu nodded and soon they cut the catch out. Kira panted on the table, foamed up spittle forming at the corners of her mouth as her eyes glazed over from the pain. 

“Hey, hey,” Matsu said, and with great effort she turned her attention to him again. “Tell me how to deal with the wires.”

She huffed, a faint smile on her face. “You’re cute when you talk like that.”

Matsu wrinkled his nose. “Really? Is now really the time for that?”

“Habit.”

“Habit? You flirt when you’re nervous?”

“Oh, shut up. What colors are the wires again?”

Matsu grumbled as he wiped off the tubing. “Uhh, green, black, and yellow.”

He glanced at Ralph who shrugged. “I’m color blind, this one’s on you.”

Matsu wiped his face with his forearm and sighed. “Kay. How do I get this tubing off?”

“It should unscrew.”

Matsu gently coaxed the tubing around until it came off. He pulled the tubing back, watching it fold along prepared lines as he pushed it back. He then looked down at the wires. 

“Do you know…”

Kira bit her lip. Her chest was rising and falling very quickly and reached out, grabbing Matsu’s hand. He held hers for a moment, watching her close her eyes, tears running down her face. 

“‘M Scared,” she whispered. 

“I know,” Matsu said gently, “I’ll get you through this. Just give me somewhere to start.”

She nodded. “I-In techno magic black is command, green is soul, and yellow i-is body…..” She took a few breaths and opened her eyes. They settled on something in between red and orange and Matsu realized she was matching his eye color. “I’m a techno mage. I studied this, I know this. Or, I can at least guess my way through this.”

He nodded encouragingly. “It…. needs to be disconnected from the soul first, Tug on the green one, gently. And please, please don’t pull any of the others out yet. There has to be a cool down between each one, I think.”

Matsu nodded and released her hand. He turned and touched the purifier amulet to clean his hand and turned back again, reaching in. He pinched The black and yellow to hold them in place and tugged the green out. He froze, listening as Ralph said, “Can you still feel this?”

Kira nodded.

“Which toe am I touching?”

“Pinky toe. This one,” she said, wiggling her foot. 

“How long do we have to wait between each one?” Matsu asked. 

She licked her lips. “You’re good to do the black one, I think. We’ll have to wait longer in between the AH AH oooh hssssssssssss.”

“What?” Matsu asked, looking up from the black wire he pulled out. 

“Felt weird,” she whimpered. “I think you touched it to something. I’m fine. Just…. Ahhhhhhhh.”

“Sorry.”

“‘S Okay.”

He put his hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat as Ralph said, “Which toe am I touching, dear?”

“M-middle toe. Foot farthest from you.”

“Good.”

They waited in silence, Kira’s hand on Matsu’s wrist. 

“You wanna go on a date after this?” she asked, eyes slitted.

Matsu rolled his eyes. “Oh sure. I’ll be up to help bandage you every evening. So romantic.”

She chuckled, closing her eyes. “Oh, it’s fun when they play along.”

“You dated many medics before?”

“Oh no. No. Was rescued by a … a…. What do they call them in this language? Guard? Had a bad client and he rescued me. We dated for a bit before he moved.”

“Guess it’s a habit for you, then. How much longer till the next wire?”

“A few more minutes.”

Kira continued to breathe, slowing her mind down and waiting in silence. 

“Alright, pretty boy,” she said eventually, making Matsu chuckle. “Last one. Ralph, you might have to hold me down. Pull it out hard and fast.”

Ralph came over, holding her over the shoulders and watched as Matsu took hold of the last wire. He didn’t count, he didn’t warn her. He yanked it and stepped away. 

She screamed, writhing on the table, though it seemed her legs were still working as Matsu almost took one to the side. 

She calmed down, twitching slightly. “Ooooh, not fun,” she whispered. She looked at the socket and sighed. “Should be easy now. Unscrew from the bone and cut it out… in my bag there is a panel. When you cut the socket out there will be a place where the wires were plugged in. Put that panel on there and close me up….. Can you knock me out now?”

“Can do,” Ralph said, walking over to grab a potion. “Relax now, dear. We’ve got you.”

……………………………………………

Matsu knocked on the door and heard Kira call him in. He opened it to find her laying in bed. He sighed internally with relief. He had been worried that she was the type to refuse to stay in bed and, at this point, he wasn’t sure if he could say no to her. 

She almost purred when she saw him, her eyes turning vibrant colors. She was on a hefty dose of painkillers, but the reaction still made him flush.

“You here for our date? What, this has to be the third one now,” she said, reaching her hand out to him. He took it and was surprised when he was jerked forward. She kissed his knuckles and he stared at her, his mind resembling nothing so much as tv static. 

“I think I might have to try out dating a medic.”

...............................................

Part 3

Thoughts from the writer/artist

[teenmomcentral]

Here are some of the major (and minor but interesting) ‘Teen Mom’-related things that happened over the last week or so…

Kail Lowry Says She’s Getting More Plastic Surgery; Wants Her Butt Reduced

Kail said she regrets letting Dr. Miami inflate her rear end with a Brazilian Butt Lift (BBL) years ago, and now wants to get the procedure reversed.

On Friday’s episode of her Barely Famous podcast, Kail talked about the plastic surgery she’s gotten over the years, including a tummy tuck, Lipo 360 and the BBL she had done live on Snapchat by Dr. Miami in 2016. She told her friend Bone that her posterior has grown too big for her liking.

“In January, I am going to start looking into surgeons for a butt reduction,” Kail said. “Because it is so outrageously big. It hurts, it’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t fit into anything.” 

Kail admitted that she was told when she had her 2016 BBL and other surgeries that if she gained weight post-surgery her butt would get bigger. (If you’ve managed to somehow block out the memories of Dr. Miami carving up Kail’s caboose live on Snapchat, allow The Ashley to remind you that Kail had the surgeries after her son Lincoln was born. She has gone on to have five more kids since then.) 

During the podcast episode, Kail told Bone that she is afraid to try to lose weight through diet and exercise.

“I don’t know how crazy [my butt] is gonna look if I start losing weight,” she said. “Is my butt going to sag? So I need it to be, like, surgically done.”

Back in June, Kail mentioned that her BBL results were less-than-stellar.

“I love plastic surgery,” Kail said on the Dumb Blonde Podcast. “The only regret I have is not waiting until I was done having kids. I had the Mommy Makeover after my second son and I could definitely go for another.”

She said of all her cosmetic procedures, her BBL has aged the worst. 

“I don’t love [my BBL]. I want it removed immediately,” she said. “Gravity is kind of pulling it down a little bit….Dr. Miami did mine and I asked him about it. He said when you gain weight, you’re going to gain wherever your fat cells are. He moved [fat cells] to my butt. My butt has grown exponentially.

“When I did the BBL and I did the Lipo 360 I wanted everything to match because I felt like, ‘I can’t have a huge butt and then have my waist be small and my arms big.’ So I had it in my arms. My butt and my arms have grown insane. But now what? I don’t know what I can do about it. Gravity pulls down your butt a little bit and it just looks crazy and I can’t find jeans that fit me.”

Kail said in June that she didn’t want to have any more surgery until she was (finally) done having kids. (She recently stated that she wants to get her tubes tied now that she’s birthed her twins— aka Babies No. 6 and No. 7.)

“I maintained it for a long time, but I got pregnant the same year that I got my Mommy Makeover. So that was my biggest mistake,” Kail said. “I should have had all the kids I wanted to have and then got it.”

Farrah Abraham Calls Out Jenelle Evans For Latest CPS Drama; David Eason Accuses Farrah of Letting Daughter “Tag Along” While “Tricking” 

Let the battle of bad parenting–- featuring fired ‘Teen Mom’ stars–- continue! 

Less than a week after fired ‘Teen Mom OG’ star Farrah Abraham and fired ‘Teen Mom 2’ star Jenelle Evans took swipes at each other over social media regarding their respective parenting decisions, the Backdoor Teen Mom and Lady of The Land are back at it. 

Farrah told TMZ this week that, while she’s basically nailing this whole parenting thing, she can’t say the same for Jenelle, given Jenelle (and husband David Eason’s) latest drama with Child Protective Services (CPS). 

“I am not shading Jenelle but I think ‘Teen Mom’ fans or haters still get it confused at where I am at in my life,” Farrah told TMZ in her signature “Farrah Speak” style. “There is other teen moms who have CPS issues, like Jenelle presently. I think we need to leave some of that CPS messy stuff out of my family and out of my dating dynamic. That definitely upsets me.

“I work very hard to be the best single parent that I can ever be,” Farrah said before seemingly taking a swipe at Jenelle’s decision to stand by David despite him being charged with child abuse recently. 

“I can’t say the same for others and their dating lives and the men they choose to date who seem to be abusive,” The Big F said. “I’m not welcoming that into my life at all.” 

As The Ashley previously told you, Jenelle and David are currently under CPS investigation; however, just last week, it was Jenelle who took to Instagram urging for a “welfare check” to be conducted at Farrah’s home.  

David was clearly not happy that Farrah spoke about the CPS situation he and Jenelle are currently dealing with. He fired off some talkin’ words in the comment section of TMZ’s Facebook post, claiming (just as Jenelle recently did) that it’s Farrah who CPS needs to be keeping a watchful eye on. 

“I think CPS would love to know why Farrah let her child tag along while she was allegedly escorting or ‘tricking’ as some would call it,” David wrote. “I call it prostitution but hey, I only know what I’m told by close sources.” 

David’s comments come just a week after Farrah (sort of) debuted the new man in her life on Instagram, which resulted in haters speculating within the comment section of her post that her new boo was actually a “John”. (Farrah recently denied the claims that she was a paid escort, stating in an interview that “there are no illegal activities going on in my life.”)

Still, several commenters on the post suggested that CPS be called on Farrah for allegedly leaving her teenage daughter at home alone on Thanksgiving while she was living in up in the Caribbean with her new man. 

As The Ashley told you last week, the comments ultimately inspired Farrah to fire off a(nother) dig at Jenelle, seemingly due to Jenelle’s familiarity with the agency. 

Farrah has yet to respond to David’s latest accusation. 

Nathan Griffith’s Ex Ashley Lanhardt Dodges the Bullet Ties the Knot

Ashley Lanhardt, ex-girlfriend of former ‘Teen Mom 2’ dad (and former swolemate of Jenelle Evans) Nathan Griffith, is officially married. 

Ashley and her husband, Richard “Lee” Runion–- who announced their engagement in November 2022–- were married in a ceremony last weekend held at the Powel Crosley Estate in Sarasota, Florida. 

While Ashley mostly stayed out of the spotlight during her relationship with Nathan, fans of ‘Teen Mom 2’ may remember her appearing on a few episodes of the show. One of Ashley’s most memorable ‘Teen Mom 2’ moments happened during the Reunion taping in 2017, during which Ashley hugged Jenelle’s mom, Barbara Evans, resulting in Jenelle becoming enraged and causing a huge scene in the hallway backstage. 

The Ashley revealed in March 2021 that Nate and Ashley had gone their separate ways after more than three years of dating, with Ashley reportedly being the one who ended the relationship. While Nate initially denied that he and Ashley split, he went on to confirm the breakup four months later on social media. Nathan even gave a shout-out to the new man in Ashley’s life at the time. 

“He’s a very attractive guy,” Nate said. “Him and Ashley are together right now.” 

As of this week, Ashley and her man are together forever. 

Ashley spoke very HIGH! HIGH! highly of Lee in October while sharing a photo on social media of the two of them obtaining their marriage license. 

“ … I have never been more excited for anything in my life,” she wrote. “I can’t wait to marry this handsome man. God knew I needed him. I’m so grateful for such a patient, loving, reassuring person to spend my life with.” 

As The Ashley previously reported, Nathan has moved on from his long relationship with Ashley as well. Last year, he married May Oyola. However, it appears their on-and-off-again relationship may be “off” again, as May recently deleted all photos of Nathan off her Instagram account. In August, May and Nathan had celebrated their joint move to Las Vegas with a family photoshoot. (Those photos have since been deleted from May’s Instagram.)

Corey Simms Wins For ‘Teen Mom’ Dad of the Year

Ali Simms isn’t letting her Muscular Dystrophy stop her from doing anything she wants— and her dad, Corey, is right behind her to lend a helping hand, literally.

The ‘Teen Mom 2′ dad warmed fans’ hearts over the weekend when an Instagram video posted by his father, Jeff Simms, circulated the Interwebs. In the video, Ali (whose mom is Leah Messer) can be seen playing her clarinet with her school’s marching band during a holiday parade.

Ali, who usually uses an electric wheelchair to help her with mobility, was obviously unable to play the clarinet and use her hand to control the wheelchair, so her dad Corey stepped in to push her in a wheelchair during the parade.

“Corey has stepped up so much since they were babies; you can tell he’s had a great role model in Poppa Jeff,” one person wrote in the comment section of the video. “I’m glad she got to participate and if y’all don’t notice he’s perfectly in step with everyone else!”

“I’m so glad Corey was there, he sure is an awesome daddy,” another person wrote. “The girls are blessed to have him.”

Ali was diagnosed with a rare form of Muscular Dystrophy in 2014. Last year, Leah posted an update to Instagram on Ali’s condition, following her bi-annual checkup with Ali’s specialist Dr. Tsao.

“All great things- [Dr. Tsao] sees more of an improvement than he ever has, mind & body,” Leah wrote on Instagram. “He said what he sees is remarkable because she seems a lot stronger… He gave a lot of credit to her love, hard work and dedication to reaching horseback riding goals that she sets for herself.

“Reflex is still the same but strength is better- pulmonary is better- weight and growth chart is better than it has ever been,” Leah wrote.

[renee-writer]

Baby Girl Chapter 40

AO3

She comes to around the same time. Her eyes pop open. The ventilator won’t let her speak and she is alone.

“What happened?” she thinks, “Last thing I recall is going to kill her, that witch that dared to go after my man. Did I succeed? I don’t … why can’t I remember? What happened? “

 

Her eyes scan the room. “Hospital. I am in hospital but why?” Her body begins to feel the pain that the coma has kept from her. “That smarts. What is happening?”

 

She sees the nurse call button and manages to press it. A second later, it seems, the nurse is there. She frowns down at her patient.

 

“Welcome back. I will get the doctor.”

 

She gestures to the tube in her throat.

 

“He will remove it.” She presses the same button her patient had pressed. “Send Dr. Harold in. Miss Mackenzie is awake. Thanks.”

 

The doctor comes right in. He removes the ventilator and the nurse offers her a drink of water. “Why?” she chokes out. They share a look.

 

“You don’t recall what happened?” Dr. Harold asks. She shakes her head. “You were shot in the commission of a crime. We preformed surgery and you were in a coma for eighteen hours.”

 

“She die?”

 

“No, lucky for you. I see you need pain medicine. I will dispense some but Scotland Yard is waiting to talk with you. Then you can have more.”

 

They send Murtagh and Geillis. Both are soon frowning down at her.

 

“First, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and attempted murder of Claire Beauchamp and the assault on Agent Fitzgibbons here “ Murtagh shows her his stitches.

 

“Attempted “ she gets out, sounding disappointed.

 

“Oh you are mad you didn’t kill her. Consider yourself blessed lass. He would have shot to kill had you.” Murtagh gives her a look of pity.

 

“He loves me.” She says, glaring at the two.

 

“So you are going for an insanity defense. You know where he is right now?” she gives her a minute and gets a sneer in return, “at her flat. Making sure she is alright. He wasn’t sitting by your bedside, was he?”

 

She starts to cry. Neither feel any sympathy. “Was there anyone else involved lass?”

 

“No. All me. I drugged her and folded her into my car. Once there I used a stretcher to move her down. She woke tied up.”

 

“Alright. We won’t ask why you did it. You have told us. Just going to leave now. Leave you with the image of Jamie holding Claire. Oh, and knowledge this room is guarded by one of our officers and will be until you are taken to lock up “ They walk out and Murtagh rings Jamie to update him.

[lighdramons]

Sterilization log #2: Pre-Op

Had pre-op done Monday but got busy so summary now.

Took an hour instead of 25 minutes to get to the hospital because of snow. The check in ladies were lovely and we were just chit chatting a bit because I was so far the only person who showed up because of the weather. Filled out a bunch of paperwork in the waiting room. My hospital is great because it’s tied to my doctors office and I just had to put a check mark and say look at my chart instead of filling out all of my medications, allergies, family history, etc.

They took me back, checked what I was there for (nurse was happy I was able to perfectly pronounce bilateral salpingectomy), did vitals, got blood drawn (and I finally know my blood type!), and then had to wait for a separate nurse.

This nurse went over my forms and medications and any of my health conditions. Told me what to bring day of (ID, Insurance card, phone, and inhaler), told me to wear loose fitting clothes, made sure I had a ride, etc. Told me I surgery is about an hour, but to expect a total of 5-8 hours with prep, surgery, and recovery. And once I can pee I can leave. I also have to pee before surgery to prove I’m not pregnant which I hate that I have to do.

Everyone was great, zero pushback. All of the nurses that took care of me made the point to say it’s my body and my choice. Overall, appointment was maybe 30 minutes so I was in and out.

I’m excited for Tuesday for these things to be gone (and hopefully an endometriosis diagnosis as well)! I’ll make a post next week at some point once the tubes are gone!

[southlandghost]

Day by the Pool

“Look, Harlow, here comes trouble.”

Harlow looked up after hearing Cooper’s words, confused for a moment; she smiled, though, when she saw who was coming into the back yard. 

A heavily pregnant Marcy walked out of the back door, a tote bag slung on her shoulder and Martin holding onto her hand, toddling beside her. Behind them followed Norm, who carried Martin’s pool float and a bottle of sunscreen. 

“I’m free!” Marcy exclaimed as she reached the poolside where her sister lay. “As of today, I am officially on maternity leave!”

“About time.” Cooper remarked from the pool, where he swam with Janey and Evie, who was in her own little pool float. “You look like you swallowed a watermelon seed. What about you, Norm? They let you off?”

“Kind of; I’m still working from home at the moment. That’s just until they induce her next week, though.” The younger man replied, absentmindedly taking Marcy’s hand as she sat down on one of the lounge chair. 

As he and Cooper continued chatting, Marcy lifted Martin and sat him beside her on the chair. “I can’t believe he’s walking, Harls. He took a bit longer than Evie, but damn… When I tell you I’ve chased him all over the house this morning, I mean it.”

“Don’t I know it.” Harlow sighed, pushing her sunglasses up and squinting. “Evie decided to play in Roosevelt’s food bowl this morning, so I had to give her a bath to get the dog food smell off of her at 7:30.”

“I know it’s a little bad to say,” Marcy lowered her voice. “But I hope and pray this baby is calmer than Martin. I was lucky and didn’t get sick this time around, but part of me is convinced it’s because this one is going to be even wilder.”

“I just wonder where he got it from.” The dark haired woman laughed. “I don’t know how you were as a kid, but I don’t see Norm as the type of kid who terrorized everyone.”

“Maybe having two mild-mannered parents makes it cancel out.” Marcy turned to her husband. “Norman, dear, hand me the sunscreen. And tell me and Harlow this: were you a good kid or a little hellion while you were growing up?”

Norm handed her the bottle, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. “I was good. Don’t try to pin Martin’s behavior on me; I blame the Schedler genetics.”

Marcy met Harlow’s eyes before they both burst out laughing, earning a laugh and some clapping from Martin, as well. Once he had gotten sunscreen on, Norm took him into the pool with Cooper and Evie.

Marcy sighed and rested her hands on her belly, smiling as she watched her husband and son. She still couldn’t believe she was a wife and mother. She remembered that just a few years ago, she scoffed at the idea of settling down and starting a family. When she looked back on her younger self, though, she realized just how hurt she had been and shuddered while thinking of what she would do to try and ease the pain she was going through at home. Moving in with Harlow quite literally saved her life.

“Are you scared?” Harlow’s voice shook her from her thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Are you scared? About the induction?”

“Oh. Not really? I guess? I don’t know. I’m kind of glad I’m being induced.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m glad the doctors will be more on top of things this time around. When I had Martin, I should have had a C-Section, but couldn’t have one because he was already in the birth canal. That’s why he had a cone-head.” Marcy laughed a bit, but cringed internally at the memory of the absolute trainwreck that was her first birth. “They said that if I go into labor before the induction, they want me to come in and they’ll go ahead and get me prepped for surgery. I’m getting my tubes tied after this, though. Two is enough for me.”

They were silent for a moment before Harlow spoke up again. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there the first time around.”

“It’s okay,” Marcy smiled back. She reached over and took Harlow’s hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “You’re here now.”

They sat in silence for a while, watching the kids and listening to their husbands talk about movies. Finally, Marcy sat up and reached over toward her sister again. “Help me up, I’m gonna swim for a bit. Let me relish in my last days of being an incubator.”

“Okay, Mama Hen, whatever you say.”

With that, she stood and helped her little sister stand, too, and laughed as Marcy bumped her with her stomach. “I kind of miss it, Marcy.”

“Pregnancy?”

“Yeah, in a weird way.”

“I know what you mean.” They walked over to the pool steps so Marcy could get in safely. “Do you think you’ll have another?”

“I dunno. Ask Cooper.” Harlow meant it as a joke, but a look of shocked horror spread on her face when her sister began to yell.

“Hey, Coop! You and Harls gonna give this baby a cousin to play with?”

“HELL NO!”

[abishekmuses]

Marketing is seduction

Style is a virtue - it's an external indicator of the lens through which you view reality, events and situations. It's the "Frame" that you inhabit - it's an expression of your aesthetic ideals - it shows the world where you find beauty. It shows the world the internal cadence - the tempo that marks the beat of your movements through life. More importantly, it reflects your capacity to appreciate beauty and your commitment towards embodying beauty and the extent to which you are willing to go for beauty.

We are fart-bags that are filled with flesh that's slowly rotting. We emanate odours, burp and one day, we'll die. Before that, depending on how unlucky our lot is, we suffer a bunch of ignominies - injuries, heartbreaks, embarrassments - we shit our pants, we get hard for people that don't want anything to do with us naked - we get jacked up wanting to see people naked - people who themselves will one day get old and need diaper changes or surgeries where their shit comes out through tubes on their abdomens. Why am I painting this grisly picture?

Because none of this stuff is news - we all know this. This is the nature of our physical reality as humans and this truth isn't lost on most of us. However, there is still is extraordinary capacity for style that we possess - This capacity to appreciate beauty - to do things with a sense of aesthetic - to " present" ourselves as works of art rather than as stinking pieces of meat.

Beauty makes life beautiful - duh! Ok let me try another way. Beauty makes life tolerable. Why do any of the things we do if we don't do them beautifully? Every moment, a human has the choice to frame things in such a way - do things in such a manner - that it can be elevated to poetry.

Again, none of these ideas are new. We know how the act of drinking coffee can be an act of ugly compulsion - think lines of irritated, haggard looking people at an airport starbucks waiting to catch an early morning flight - or an exercise in love, style and aesthetic bliss - think of someone who wakes up, works out, showers, does his hair up just right - puts on a clean white tee shirt and crisply ironed chinos - and with meticulous precision, arranges his cup, his spoon, his milk jug, his coffee grinder - and goes about infusing as much love and devotion as possible into making that cup of coffee - pouring his attention into every single step involved - doing it with a sense of care like not getting a microscopic part of the process perfectly right would be the end of the world. That's what i mean by elevating actions - making poetry out of life.

i'm not speaking about OCD though. that's just as unaesthetic as being slapdash as far as Im concerned. Insouciance is attractive. Devotion with insouciance - now that's poetry.

I think seduction is closely tied to this. An expert seducer is someone who values aesthetics - he lives it and breathes it. He might not even necessarily understand it as such. But his movements, his life possess a quality of otherworldliness. a sense of cinematic allure. A sense of art. Something elysian, astral, supernal. A sense of something immortal and infinite. Something that isn't so immutably beset by the banal, the mortal, the rotting and the mundane.

I feel like marketing is very similar to seduction in this sense. marketing is all about framing things - It's about creating something a bit more ethereal around commodities/products/services -which are just banal things.

A product is a commodity. It belongs to the realm of flesh and bones. A brand is something undying - it belongs to the realm of demigods. It is something supernal. Something astral. Something that is nebulous, subtle and powerful.

I'm writing all this just to get down some ideas that I've been working with. This is an attempt to publicly post my process.

I came across the term public journal recently - I guess this is an attempt to have one of those myself.

Paralysed with potential - This is an itneresting idea

Best writers make errors -e diting is key

Excitement is actually a really subtle form of fear - when it doesn't allow us to settle into the present moment - I catch myself these days with a feeling that i would traditionally label as "positive" - a feverish sense of excitement - like hey "I'm pumped!!!" - but upon closer inspection, it's an attempt to move away from the present moment. It's a refusal to accept the intensity of a given moment and relax into it - accept it. It's using the mind to project an imaginary future where the intensity of internal state in this moment is used to create positive fantasies in the future - subtly suggesting to yourself - i'll be happy and fulfilled then" - subtly sowing seeds for waking up the next morning (or whenever) with regrets for not inhabiting that fantasy reality.

[aalt-ctrl-del]

it is very concerning how that the general public forgets that the argument on "abortion" and "reproductive rights" isn't isolated to the topic of "baby in the womb doing stuff".

The whole encompassing topic of body autonomy doesn't start or end at "womb" or "fetus". Those are the buzzwords that republicans love to throw around to simplify the morbid truth of this weird control train. It's what republicans prop up like a cardboard placeholder for the submerged iceberg of everything that they want to control on the topic of body and reproduction autonomy.

And this goes for men too. I know my boys like to pretend that they republicans have no interest in the peepee gun. But the republicans also think condoms and male birth control are the devils work, because dem bois are still killing babies. So when they get done with the ladies, they'll be looking at us all.

Which ties to my next point, aside from birth control measures being removed because it 'kills babies'. The whole topic is a mess because republicans idea of saving babies is for women to get married ASAP and start having babies. Messy. Topic. Bat. Shit. Insanity.

What is more batshit insane than gutting production of birth control and contraceptives, is the general focus on anything to do with the uterus or the ovarian things. Because this is the massive, whole encompassing issue here. In red states, it is difficult if not impossible to get sterilization surgery, regardless the reason. Women and people with uteruses struggle to get healthcare in red states, when their biology connected to the uterus fucks up. Even if the procedure is something that will benefit their quality of life, such as the case of Menorrhagia, Endocrine, Ovarian cysts, and various other illnesses that incapacitate or cause general disruption in health in those with a uterus. Some chemical birth controls help with managing these disorders, but sometimes that isn't enough. Some people go for a hysterectomy, but that all depends. But all of this medical hippa and body autonomy is infringed upon by republicans and red states, under the guise of "Saving babies".

These republicans put the quality and safety of a damn organ, above the person mental and physical health. It's bizarre. It's sick. People with uteruses lose full jurisdiction to their body, because by religious and state ordinance, the body is not their own property. Not fully. The uteruses may not be full of oil, but the republicans sure as hell want to stake a claim in it.

The topic is not a clear cut of black and white, regardless how simple the republican smooth brain schemes tries to posture it. It's dehumanizing and frankly, dystopian. Topics of health and wellness should be governed by no more than two people - the doctor, and the person seeking medical assistance for their body. Governors, Supreme Court, House Representatives - none of those people in those districts have a place in body autonomy regarding a singular organ. They HR, SC, Congress, whoever - they can have discussions of healthcare and affordability and the insurance coverage (which is a fuking nightmare). But when it comes to procedures that people seek to amend personal health issues, they cannot be governed by anyone not privvy to that information.

But that's just a reminder to anyone who thinks "abortion has nothing to do with me because I cannot get preggos". You miss the point it wasn't about babies or pregnancy or protecting/saving anyone. It was about controlling body health and emotional welfare.

You go to the doctors one day because you have heavy bleeding, and you get the results back from tests letting you know "there's a large tumor on your fallopian tube and it needs to be removed." It's not a simple case of scheduling the procedure, even if you have the assets to get this done and insurance that can cover it. Because there's suddenly the possibility you're actually involved in a nefarious plan to kill a baby, and everything about this procedure must be approved by your very red state, just to be sure you're not a heathen. Insurance might not even have jurisdiction to cover it, since this is happening in a red state.

But that's the gist of reproduction rights and body autonomy. It's never been about babies or saving unborn children.

[winchester-girl67]

Don’t Say A Word (Part 8)

Summary: The truce between you and Dean was nice while it lasted.

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Dean x reader

Word Count: 1,087

Warnings: language, angst, arguing, minor injury, shark week, some pining, cuddling, slow burn, some fluff

A/N: This is a slow burn series... so one step forward and two steps back. What else did you expect ;)

_____

You shifted on the couch when your legs started to fall asleep. Dean's arms rested around your waist with your back against his chest as you watched some soap opera you'd never heard of. It was the only channel you were able to get in focus after playing with the bunny ears for close to an hour, but you didn't mind the background noise. Dean got really into it though and gasped when the main character got shot and collapsed. You thought it was kind of funny, maybe a little cute even and you turned your head to grin back at him.

"Shut up," he smirked back at you. "You know what? Maybe it was a twin, these things always have twins."

How often did he watch these types of shows, you wondered.

You laughed and felt Dean's hand shift on your lower stomach, holding the heating pad in place as he pulled you into a more comfortable position. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table and you popped a fistful of chocolate chips into your mouth from the bag next to you.

"Could be plastic surgery too, but my money's on a doppelgänger," you bet, chuckling at the irony.

You scooped another handful of chocolate chips and Dean playfully tried to steal them away by grabbing your wrist. But you winced and cried out at the contact, causing him to release you in a breath. He took your hand and gently tugged up the cuff of your sweater to examine your raw skin, doing the same with the opposite wrist and letting out a concerned sigh. You had taken off the gauze after your shower, thinking it was best to let the wounds from the zip ties dry out, but now the skin just cracked and bled at the touch.

"Ouch, that looks sore," Dean said, brushing the skin under your sores with his thumb.

"No shit, Sherlock." You quipped, pulling your sweater sleeves back down and hiding the red skin from view.

Dean pushed you forward and climbed off the couch. He disappeared into the bathroom and returned a minute later with a tube of antibiotic cream and some new gauze. He sat back down next to you and began tending to your wrists. You struggled a little, until he applied the cream and you sighed at the relief, easily feeling ten times less irritated despite the lawn mower in your uterus.

"Why didn't you say something?" Dean asked when he finished wrapping your wrists.

"I dunno. I don't usually use stuff like this so I didn't think to check the bathroom." You admitted, examining the tube of antibiotic cream. "Does it really help it heal faster?"

"Typically shaves a couple of days off, for me at least." He nodded, leaving the first aid supplies on the table and resuming his relaxed position beside you. Pulling you back into him and tossing the fleece blanket from the back of the couch over the both of you. "You never told me what happened. Kinda looks like they used zip ties."

"There's not much to tell, Dean. I just pulled too hard-"

"Pulling won't work, you have to force them apart by using your knee or back." You hated the way Dean mansplained as if he'd ever been zip tied before, which you doubted, and you rolled your eyes.

"I know that, genius. But once my wrists were cut, it hurt too much to break them that way." You argued, shifting away from him and the blanket on the couch, suddenly needing your own space.

You felt awkward now. You wished you'd never cuddled up to Dean Winchester, Executive Protection Agent, in the first place. You couldn't take it back and now he'd seen the softer side of you, while he got to come off as confident and all-knowing.

It pissed you off. You were self-sufficient, you didn't need him to tell you how to escape when you'd figured it out for yourself in the moment. And where was he the whole time, with his little tracking device, hiding out in the woods waiting for you to do the hard work.

Screw him.

The unphasable, stone-faced bodyguard that never needed anyone, never felt fear or pain or love. Because, let's face it, someone who can't let anyone in doesn't ever feel love in return. You can't love someone you don't know anything about. No wonder he never had a serious girlfriend, if he made them feel this way. It was a wonder he got anyone to sleep with him for more than one night. That is if anyone ever did come back for seconds, and you weren't totally convinced anyone had.

"I'm just trying to explain an easier way if you were to get tied up again." He continued in a gentle tone, but you still ground your teeth together at the sound of his voice. "So much for the truce, huh?... Y/N. What just happened? Why are you so pissed at me all of a sudden?"

"Because."

"Mind adding a few more words to your explanation? I'm not a mind reader, Y/N." He clenched his jaw, staring at you with those judgmental green eyes again.

"I'm just sick and tired of you patronizing me, and the manhandling, and- And this," you gestured at the cabin around you. "I want to go home, Dean."

"I know," he nodded, "and before you blame me for all of this again. I am not the bad guy here, princess."

"Stop calling me that," you whined, hitting him with a dusty throw pillow. He grabbed it away from you and tossed it to the ground.

"Hey, if the glass slipper fits." He quipped, raising his brow.

"That's Cinderella, dumbass."

"Still a princess in the end, sweetheart." He said, stoning his face.

"Now you're purposefully trying to get on my nerves." You huffed, shoving the heating pad away when your skin felt hot enough.

"Like you aren't doing the exact same thing to me." He argued, palming the scruff on his jaw and standing up. "I'm going to bed. Try to be in a better mood when I wake up."

"Fuck you, Winchester."

He just winked at you with a smug grin and plopped down on the bottom bunk, your bed. He really knew how to get your blood boiling. You bit your lip and turned your attention back to the TV. The main character was alive again, but you'd missed the explanation of how they'd brought him back. Great.

_________________________

A/N: Read part 9 here

_________________________ 
 Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​ @laycblack​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @crustycheeks​ @kazsrm67​ @sexyvixen7​ @lyarr24​ @suckitands33  @eliwinchester99​ @yvonneeeee​ 

Forever SPN: @hobby27​

Don't Say A Word: @lacilou​ @mlovesstories​ @spn730015​ @hunni-bunny​ @ria132love​ @fmstafford  @spideysimpossiblegirl​ @houseforwhores​ @siospins2​ @globetrotter28​ @nt-multi-fandom​ @maggiegirl17​ @iprobablyshipit91​ @tigergirllolipop​

[luna-kipp-themothauthor]

I am an author and dumpster fire of a tumblr shitposter and I usually don't make posts like this, but I am making an exception this time because it's something that needs to be said.

If you are female bodied and do not wish to have children in your lifetime, I highly encourage you to look into getting a bilateral salpingectomy. This is a minor surgery with minimal recovery time that is covered by most insurance where your ovarian tubes are removed but all other reproductive organs are intact. It reduces your risk of pregnancy to zero and risk of ovarian cancer to almost nothing.

It is not getting your tubes tied or clamped, it is full tube removal and is permanent and non-reversible.

It can be difficult to get a doctor to perform female sterilization, but many more doctors who were neutral before are being open minded regarding this at the moment due to the current political climate. If you don't want children, I encourage you to do this sooner rather than later in case laws change within the next few years that limits access or attempts to outlaw this procedure.

Due to the added benefit of ovarian cancer chance reduction, it is easier to find a doctor willing to do this surgery than other types of sterilization and it is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy forever unless you go and get IVF implantation intentionally.

If you are low income, when you receive your hospital bill you can apply for financial assistance through the hospitals website and submit your pay stubs and bank statement and often your bill will be forgiven between 75% and 100% (this is possible with most hospital bills actually depending on where you live. But ensure that you do not have a savings account at the same bank as your checking because this often can disqualify you)

You can often call a gynecologist office and ask the receptionist if any of the doctors perform female sterilization before you go, and they won't go into details but you are just asking if a service is able to be provided or not and they can usually answer that. That way you are less likely to waste time and money. Gynos that are stationed in hospitals are more likely to allow it and quickly get it scheduled rather than referrals.

For reference, reddit has lists of doctors in various states who allow anyone 18 and up to get the surgery, but it is not comprehensive and many are not listed so it is worth calling and asking or checking websites.

I know there might be many barriers for people to have access to this, but I wanted to lend some information to anyone feeling afraid by these new anti abortion laws and even some trying to go after birth control. At least I hope this can give you somewhere to start for info.

We are not fucking cattle to be bred and owned

[renlyslittlerose]

Time to get a little bit personal on my blog because I haven’t any other place to talk about my recent health issues~ Putting it under a cut because there are discussions of reproductive issues, surgery, and periods which I know can be triggering for some!

 Went in for some exploratory surgery at the start of October to positively diagnose endometriosis that I knew I had and was being treated for the past seven years. When I first went to my gyno back in 2016 about the pain and issues I was experiencing she diagnosed me with endometriosis right off the bat - she didn’t even feel a need to do a diagnostic laparoscopy because my symptoms matched almost perfectly. She put me on hormonal medication (not birth control) and I actually saw a major reduction in symptoms. Not everything was gone, but the worst of it was so I was content.

Flashforward to early 2022 and I went to visit my family doctor to discuss some health issues I was having - some of which were tied up with my ovaries and uterus. I was telling him that I was still experiencing some issues, that my medication sometimes feels like I’m damaging my body further (bone density being the biggest), and that I didn’t know what to do next. He suggested a hysterectomy. 

 So I went to my gyno who, while supportive, wanted me to be armed with as much knowledge as possible and suggested a diagnostic lap for the first time - just to see what was actually going on. So I went in for surgery (with lots of fun things happening along the way - like discovering that when I faint from seeing blood I actually have a minor fit that looks like a seizure l o l), got pictures of my insides, and was told to come back to my gyno in 6 weeks to discuss ‘my future’.

Six weeks later and: I’ve been officially diagnosed with endo and I’ve been given all manner of options. Remove my ovaries and tubes but keep my uterus, remove everything and enter early menopause, continue with what I’m doing until I enter natural menopause, continue what I’m going until I’m 40 and then have a complete hysterectomy and enter early menopause, go to see an endo specialist and have them remove what endo tissue they can. 

 And of course, all of these options carry huge amounts of risk. Entering early menopause, even with hormonal therapy, greatly increased a person’s risk of dementia, heart disease, and bone density issues (the latter which I already struggle with). As well, scar tissue has fused my uterus to my bowels, making the risk of surgery high due - if they puncture the bowel I could be on an ostomy bag. But if I do nothing I’m still abusing my body with another type of hormonal medication that’s got its own negative feedback loop. Not to mention the medication doesn’t work forever. It’s supposed to, but it doesn’t. And I cannot and will not have my periods again. It’s just not possible.

 So I decided to be put on the long waitlist to see the specialist, and hear what he suggests. In the meantime I’m going to spend the next year researching and running my brain in circles trying to decide my future, which is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I thought I’d go in, choose the complete hysterectomy and it’d be an easy one and done type thing. But it isn’t and I hate that it isn’t. I don’t want kids, I’m ace as fuck so I’ve never wanted sex so those aren’t issues for me. But it’s the potential to screw my body up even more that scares me. Like if I make the wrong call I’ll fuck myself over for the rest of my life.

 God I hate this disease. I hate that I have to have it. I hate that it’s cost me so much of my life, and that there is no quick, easy, painless fix. I hate that I had to even undergo invasive surgery to know what was really going on. It’s so stupid and useless and frustrating and I fucking hate it. 

 Anyways. I just needed to talk about it in detail. If you read this and identify with it, I’m sorry you’re going through pain as well. And a reminder: painful periods are not normal. Periods where you can’t leave your bed and you’re vomiting and shitting your guts out aren’t normal. Periods where you’re so bloated you think you’re going to break through the walls of your stomach is not normal. If you can, seek help. Demand answers. Advocate for yourself. 

💖