#I know she’s pretty tanky

[hussyknee]

Tried to have a rational and good faith conversation with someone I thought might be rescued from Tankie-hood. And then they came out with "okay but what is the proof that China is an imperialist?"

Blue screened.

What is an Asian that lives in Asia supposed to even say to that?? Half my country's economy is controlled by China??? Half of Southeast Asia is five inches away from being outright colonized by them?? China itself is just a vast colonial project masquerading as a country?? Taiwan?? Hong Kong??

"Yes, but they're both only secessionist outposts. And Taiwan wants to control China."

What.

[moreeels]

very strange 2 me when people see someone criticizing A certain presidential candidate (not even giving their input on who they will or will not vote for) and are like WOW. WOWWWWW. so youre LITERALLY voting for 100% HITLER? youre LITERALLY throwing our PERFECT DEMOCRACY into FASCISM. because you cant get over some silly GENOCIDE. this is why im the good correct one and youre the bad incorrect one.

and its like no bitch thats a whole other sentence. wtf are you talking about. all anyone said is maybe 99% hitler shouldnt actively condone a genocide.

[kick-a-long]

for those who don't remember 9/11 or why terrorists are literal poison in humanity:

my dad was working in fidi and had a meeting at the twin towers at 9:30am that day. He was late but had to walk home in the ash. the cell phones didn't work and the subway was down so he had to walk a hundred blocks to get home. I didn't have any contact from my parents and had to wait in school alone for hours while the kids who lived in brooklyn had to find kids who lived in manhatten to room with. no one had a car or anything so everyone was just walking and calling on the one pay phone. no one knew who's parents were alive and who's were dead. my friend's step dad died, bett middler sung at his funeral, but because her mom hadn't married him she was left homeless and I never saw her again.

we didn't know if my dad was alive or dead for the entire day, she was pretty sure he was dead because his office was in the building.

the flip side of the islamaphobia after 9/11 is the rabid hyper christian cultural reaction. suddenly the tv was flooded with shit from south park and other "jokes" about jews, and how terrorists wouldn't have attacked if not for all the jews. kids from a visiting school chanted shit about bagels and kosher food at our games.

but funnily enough... my dad looked too middle eastern for the airport and the subway. He had to change his passport photo and shave his beard. he even stopped playing tennis and swimming outside for a long time so he wouldn't look as tan.

anyone who 'jokes' about it is at best a naive infant and at worst a school shooter wannabe in my opinion.

for those people: try to empathize with how it would feel to suddenly lose your parents, everything about the best and worst parts of your relationship permanently unresolved, and then have to watch whoever survives them try to figure out how to financially and emotionally restructure their lives. how to cope with how your parent has become a symbol instead of your dad. how you have to hear about 9/11 constantly, grifters raking in the cash, politicians doing things in your name, and you can't get away from it. your tears, or lack thereof, become a performance for strangers across the country to spend 20 years fighting when you have no say out of it. how depersonalizing it is to have left and right fight about what it means to them and who deserves vengeance with no respect to what it means to you.

anyway, fuck 9/11 jokes and all the fucks slurping up the terroristic and USSR style tankie propaganda.

[nerdasaurus1200]

Why Cassandra's Moonstone Armor Sucks

*cracks knuckles and dusts off keyboard*

It's time to finally rip this armor to shreds...figuratively because it's indestructible XD

And big shoutout to @whosbex @archivedwoods @th3p0rtalmaker @the-reverse-mermaid @aziraphalesbookkeeper and @majorabbey who all wanted to see this. I thank you all so much for your patience 🥰

Don't get me wrong there are some elements of this that absolutely work. The blue and black is a wonderful color scheme, especially that blue swirl that goes down and around Cass's body. And the spikes on the shoulders, forearms, and calves looks super cool and gives off a more black rock feel and a very intimidating silhouette. But...that's about all it does right.

1- It doesn't fit Cassandra's sense of style at all

In all the outfits we can see Cass wear throughout the show, we can very easily get a sense of exactly what her style is. It’s very clear that she dresses conservatively. And especially in armor she values practicality above all else. Her clothing has to serve its respective purpose. And up until season 3 the only revealing thing she wears is her island outfit and even then that’s pretty modest. And the moonstone armor comes along and completely disregards her established sense of style.

2- It undermines the moonstone's capabilities

We get it very explicitly confirmed that the Moonstone made the Dark Kingdom, and made Cass's tower as well. We see the amount of detail it puts into buildings. Even the rocks, the most simple thing it can make, are magically complex enough to know to seek out the Sundrop. And you're telling me that this thing can't make better armor than that?? Nuh uh, no way. I don't buy it. There’s absolutely no reason for the moonstone to provide a skin tight catsuit with a few spikes when we know its power can be much more sturdy and intimidating.

3- It's Chris Sonneburg's fantasies showing through

Those of you who have been in this fandom know the crush that Chris, the director, has on Cass. She's supposedly based on his college crush or something, and from day one he always wanted Cass to be the villain and plan to betray Rapunzel even as far back as the very beginning of the show. And of course, don't you want to see your crush in something hot? Therefore, I'm certain that the retaining of the catsuit was his idea. Because if you look at the moonstone concept art you can see more and more the visual leaning into a catsuit rather than actual armor

4- It's not at all practical or historically accurate

For reference, THIS is what armor has typically looked like throughout history

And even in works of fantasy you still have some version or variant of armor like this. Throughout the middle ages you can see just how tanky armor used to be. But as you can see, the moonstone armor looks nothing like that. It doesn't at all look like it could realistically defend a person.

Granted Cass's guard uniform is also kinda form fitting like the moonstone armor, but there’s still protective elements of it. The helmet, the breastplate. You could still believe that that is practical armor. Despite it being indestructible, the moonstone….is not at all practical armor. It doesn't look like it belongs in history or even fantasy. It is so obviously modern it’s almost painful.

5- It makes her disappear.

This is actually something that @moltenhair pointed out a while back that I never realized. There's too much black in there. A lot of the time we see Moonssandra at night and because there's so much black on her armor it makes her fade into the background to the point where she looks like a floating head and hand because the blue is all that really catches your eye about the design. Granted one can make the argument that this could have been done on purpose because taking and using the moonstone isn't actually giving Cass the spotlight she thinks it is but...eh...it's a loose argument.

[enqmind]

Once again, I lament my inability to make cool graffix.

Price/Female Reader WC: 1.8k 18+

Warnings: Mention of non-consensual groping, mention of groper getting stabbed with knitting needles, in later parts there will be guilt tripping but it's cute for now

Reader notes: Good at knitting.

Hit One, Purl One III

Previous

 He’d had worse than a broken nose. Hell, this wasn’t even that bad as broken noses went.

 It didn’t even hurt that much, but that might have been the impressive little distraction that gave it to him.

 Quick reflexes, excellent use of an improvised weapon and only attacked once the threat had presented himself. All entirely instinctual, too.

 This level of sheer talent was not only rare, but wrapped up in such a sweet and demure package like that? Well, that was a completely different matter.

 He watched her scamper off to grab her coat and bag.

 “You’ll be there for hours,” Johnny pointed out.

 “I know.”

 When Mrs MacTavish wasn’t looking, he shot the man a wink.

 He earned a grin in response.

 “Go easy on her, John,” Mrs MacTavish implored, “she’s very self conscious about this.”

 He patted her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, love. I won’t hold it against her,” he lied through his teeth.

 “And don’t scare her off,” Treasure piped up, “I like her.”

 “You would with your violent streak” Johnny muttered.

 “I dare you to say that within elbowing distance, MacTavish.”

 “Simon, please hurry, I’m stuck with three children.”

 Ghost glared at the bickering pair before admonishing them to behave themselves.

 “You tell me if they don’t,” he told Mrs MacTavish.

 “Oh, I will.”

 Price couldn’t help but smile as he watched them. They made an odd little family, but a strong one.

 No matter how fucked up the becoming was.

 “Are the children fighting again?”

 “Seems like it,” he replied, turning to his assailant.

 Well, wasn’t she a pretty sight in that nice knitted overcoat in fawn?

 “Knit that yourself?” he asked, running the back of his hand over her shoulder, careful not to get blood on it.

 Lovely and soft.

 Colour and texture both telling a sweet little lie.

 “I did,” she replied, nerves replaced with pride. “It’s a Merino/alpaca blend.”

 “Very nice.”

 She held up her bag, knitted in the same fawn as her coat and a few other colours in a blocky Fair Isle pattern.

 “I made this out of the leftovers and some oddments.”

 “Her five year plan is to have a fifty percent knitted wardrobe.”

 “Stop talking about me like I’m the goddamn Soviet Union,” she snapped at Mrs MacTavish.

 “Only if you stop dating Tankies.”

 Embarrassment flared on her face.

 “I never date them on purpose,” she defended herself. “I really don’t know how they keep finding me.”

 Ghost began shepherding her out of the room.

 “I really don’t,” she insisted, letting herself be herded.

 Price glanced at Mrs MacTavish.

 “She loudly complains about the Tories on Twitter and is hot.”

 “Ah, I see.”

 “Text us when you’re out,” she ordered, shooing him off.

---

The drive wasn’t long, but the beginning was a bit awkward.

 For starters, she was insistent he take the front seat. Which wasn’t exactly simpatico with his plan for this trip.

 Secondly.

 “This is a Škoda.”

 “Yeah.”

 “Why.”

 “Treasure likes the make.”

 “And an estate car?”

 “Sure. Got a kiddlywink coming.”

 The little spitfire was peering into the back.

 “This boot has a lot of space.”

 “Could have more,” Ghost replied, “the Mrs wanted the plugin hybrid.”

 A sage nod.

 “What’s the range like on the battery?”

 He shrugged.

 “‘Bout forty miles. Don’t really get in and out of the city without resorting to petrol.”

 She nodded.

 “Still, a sensible choice. Bit long, but at least it isn’t one of those SUV ‘truck’ monsters starting to infect the streets.”

 Ghost stared at her silently for a moment, face deathly straight.

 “I’ll get that front door for you, Captain.”

 The little shit was enjoying this.

 Price shifted the seat back as she squeezed in behind the driver’s seat.

 If they were in his vehicle, no one would have to squeeze anywhere.

 There was a short silence as they pulled out and headed down the road.

 “So, um, are you two married?” 

 “Nah. We’ve yet to give notice,” Ghost replied, eyes on the road.

 That was going to be fun to arrange.

 Price watched her nodding sagely in the back seat.

 “If you need a witness, let me know. I’m happy to help.”

 “There are easier ways to get free food.”

 She glared holes into the headrest.

 “I don’t even know why I like you, sometimes.”

 “I’ll come in handy next time you move.”

 She rolled her eyes before meeting Price’s in the mirror. Her look was a long suffering one.

 He shot her a smile.

 “I’m going to hold you to that,” she warned Ghost, smiling back. A sweet, beautiful little expression; another enticing falsehood.

 The man’s eyes crinkled into a smile in the periphery of Price’s vision.

 That just made his interest grow.

 Johnny’s stated desire to fix Ghost and this vivacious filly up made much more sense now. They seemed to gel together remarkably well, more than enough to try and keep her around as more than just Mrs MacTavish’s pretty friend.

 Smart man.

---

  Ghost dropped them off at the hospital.

 “I’ll leave him in your hands. Try not to create too many bodies.”

 “Don’t be mean.”

 He cocked his head at her.

 “If I was being mean I’d ask Price to keep you in check.”

 Ghost gave him a nod before rolling up the window and driving off.

 She looked at Price in utter bafflement.

 “High praise,” he smiled back, “means he thinks you can control yourself.”

 She looked at the ground.

 “Right.”

 It’s been awhile since he’s been in an NHS hospital, but he was unsurprised by the odd mixture of tech forward and outdated systems he found there.

 He sent her to find them seats as he signed in and went to triage, swinging by the toilets to wash the blood from his hands. Something he’d been far from expecting to do today, especially under such circumstances. He caught himself smiling in the mirror, he didn’t mind.

 At the second from the end on a rack of chairs was where he found her when he left, the space next to the wall holding her knitting bag clearly reserved for him.

How thoughtful.

 “Sorry about the wait,” he greeted, half as a warning to avoid a repeat performance of before.

 A flinch came when he picked up her bag and, instead of sitting, put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her towards the empty seat.

The old man next to them watched this with confusion, but lacked the courage to say anything about it.

 She didn’t, though.

 “What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, pretence at resistance belied by obediently shifting over,

 “Trying to keep the body count low,” he replied. “I’m an old hand at  this and know how to lean into my men's talents and weaknesses.”

He sat next to her, shielding her from the OAP next to them and resting his arm on the hard plastic back.

 “I’m not one of your men,” she reminded him, pulling a slim booklet out of her bag.

 Oh, but she would be his woman soon enough.

 He chuckled, “thought about a military career?”

 Her own was somewhat weary. “I don’t think sudden bursts of violence would go down well in the Air Force.”

 “The air force? Why that branch?”

A sly grin, “my great aunt was a WAFF in the war. I’d like to follow in her footsteps, after a fashion.”

 “Makes sense,” he conceded.

 “Granddad was in the navy,” she continued. “So that would do okay, I suppose.”

 “Bit damp, don’t you think?”

 “Yeah, I’m not wild about it.”

 She flipped open her booklet and scanned a few lines.

 The monochrome image of various knitted pieces in flat lay opposite caught his eye.

 “That’s a lot of socks,” he noted.

 She dropped it onto his lap.

 “Make yourself useful and hold that,” she commanded, digging into her bag to pull out her knitting.

 Price peered at the pattern.

 “You’re knitting hospital stockings?”

 “Yeah, my friend’s flying long haul to Sydney for Mardi Gras. I’m knitting these to help prevent DVT.”

 “Mind if I?” He lifted the booklet.

 “Go ahead, I’m way off twenty inches.”

 He flipped back to the cover, a smart man standing in front of a light aircraft in what the legend declared to be ‘Service Woollies for Air, Land and Sea’ was depicted on it.

 It really was his good luck that Ghost had been too inside his own head to take advantage of Soap’s matchmaking, she was perfect.

 “So, how long have you been knitting?” he asked.

 The grin on her face told him exactly how he’d be spending the next few hours.

---

 It was almost a disappointment when the doctor arrived, watching her knit at speed while holding a full conversation about the absolute state of water companies was giving him the urge to just pull her into his lap.

 “Captain Price?”

 He raised his hand, too hypnotised by how his companion was somehow knitting even faster.

 “The note said you were amb-oh!” The doctor hovered nearby. “I see.”

 “Impressive, isn’t she?”

 “Very.”

 The look on her face was one of that sort of pleased embarrassment women often got when praised in public as she finished her row and stashed her knitting away.

 He extricated his arm from the back of her seat and stood, giving the doctor a greeting smile.

 The one she shot back was bright, “I’m Dr Kennedy, if you’d like to follow me?”

 He did, with a confident stride as his companion trailed after them.

 They were settled in a cubicle, him on the bed and her hovering near the curtain.

 “Right, so Captain,” the doctor said, looking up from her notes, “how did this happen?”

 John folded his arms and smiled at his companion.

 “I, erm, h-hit him with a hardback book,” she explained nervously.

 Dr Kennedy’s smile froze.

 “Right, well, would you mind if we spoke privately?”

 His erstwhile assailant took a smart step backwards.

 “Nope, absolutely not. I’ll, er… go buy us some overpriced soft drinks. Coke okay, John?”

 “I’d prefer just water.”

 She gave him a thumbs up and nearly ran out.

 He smiled fondly and turned to the doctor.

 Concern was written large on her face.

 “Er… is this a common occurrence, Captain?” she asked him warily.

 “First time it’s happened.”

 She noted this down.

 “And has she shown any concerning behaviours? Say about finances, or keeping you away from your friends?”

 “Oh, not at all.”

 Her brow furrowed.

 “Right… Look, I’m not going to mince words here. I’m concerned your partner may be abusive.”

 “We’re not even dating yet,” he replied smugly. “We met for the first time today, guess my girl just doesn’t like being surprised by strangers.”

 Dr Kennedy visibly relaxed.

 “Oh good. Abuse cases are always the worst for everyone.” She gave him a wry smile, “and it’d be the first time I’ve seen a suspected abuser sprint away to allow a private word. Still. Pays to be cautious, right?”

 “It does,” he agreed.

 Apparently good women were like buses, you don’t see one in ages and then a couple show up at once.

 “Let’s get that nose set so the poor thing doesn’t have an aneurysm.”

[applestruda]

hi hello im a big armor and design nerd, and was wondering if you’ve ever shared your thought process behind the boatem knights’ designs? they are all very cool and I love them

I haven't! I will say there are varying levels of thought process behind the designs, such things usually depending on how familiar i am with the hermit. I WILL ALSO SAY THAT IM NO ARMOR EXPERT IN THE SLIGHTEST! my designs are purely for fun, they're probably not completely functional or accurate.

the designs for reference

Impulse: i was generally sort of thinking that base wise, he was building this big industrial factory. while this doesn't directly transfer into a fantasy knight's design, i was thinking about how just like, tanky, his base is. like big industrial buildings equaled larger plates of armor and more overall protection in my head (im pretty sure, besides pearl, he's the most armored knight). then theres just smaller things, such as a purple collar to match his actual s8 skin and the bowtie, as well as a little decorative "i" . I also have longer trailing pieces of fabric to mimic the long coat he was wearing

Grian: he's sort of the opposite from impulse. for him i was trying to think of light armor that could still allow for flight. its why he has a lot more padded areas. (now ofc im sure his armor is still heavy and flight would be hard but hey this is fantasy im not suuupper pressed) there's a little less thoughts behind the rest of the design as it's mostly just a play on his base skin of red sweater and grey pants.

Pearl: she's probably the second most tanky knight, and honestly there's not too much of a reason for it. her armor is a lot more curved, i guess would be the word, bc to me it sort of made crescent shapes. also i dont think i necessarily had this in mind, but the scalemail segment of her armor is fun to me considering her being a moth hybrid in bkau.

Scar: in s8 scar very much sort of gave me steampunky vibes with his big swaggons, so instead of going with the usual metal armor like the rest of the knights, i figured that leather would maybe match his vibes a little more. on top of that, scar is definitely more of a ranger than a like, traditional knight in bkau, so the light weight armor was also meant to lend to that. the rest is ofc based on his s8 tycoon skin.

Mumbo: he doesn't have all that much behind his design, besides the fact that its meant to match his base suit skin a little. i think at the time i was designing him, i hadn't really watched anything of mumbo's, so i didnt quite know any specific paths to go with him. though being honest, as of now i wouldnt change much either.

anyways those are some general thoughts for the knights. there was probably more thoughts in my head when i initially designed them but i dont remember everything. hope this all made sense :]

[velvetvexations]

I know it's heteronormative and not great even if it wasn't for implying the only relationship possible between a boy and a girl is romantic, but I like the poetry of the lyrics "he was a boy, she was a girl/can I make it any more obvious?".

It's interesting how the world can change so completely for a line like that to lose it's meaning. Because it's a great thing that we recognize non-heteronormative love and that boys and girls can be just friends, and the whimsy of a line of from a 90s pop song is more than an acceptable sacrifice for that, but isn't it just...wild how different everything is now, for something like that to no longer register the way it did when it was a considered a reflection of reality?

You may say that of course queer people existed and boys and girls were friends in the 90s, and obviously not everyone agrees on those two points even today, so it can't be treated like some kind of universal, objective change from one state to another.

Nonetheless, I think even two 90s lesbians hearing that line would have laughed about it but still be so immersed in that being the norm that it still felt...well, normal. Maybe not a reflection of reality intellectually, but emotionally, in the sense that you would still expect pop culture to be that way and when faced with it you might laugh at the irony of your defiance of it but still accept it as what's going on. Or I don't know, maybe queer people could ensconce themselves almost exclusively in queer culture even then, but even if that were the case the queer community was so much smaller that I think my premise that the lyrics fit Consensus reality in the 90s is correct.

Conversely, there are plenty of people who want to go back to that time for exactly that reason, to wind back all the progress and acceptance of queer rights, but like, fuck them, they don't count. No, seriously, because they live in a world where Trump is a Christian and trickle-down economics works, when I talk about perceived reality I'm talking about "our" reality. Even reality among progressives can fracture along pretty major lines, as you know if you've followed me for like five minutes, but I think one thing I and even the worst transradfem tankie can agree on is that those lyrics are obsolete these days. Although they might say the second reason is less "because boys and girls can be friends" and more "because boys and girls can only be enemies".

They say the past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. Nostalgia and decrying the present is as old as human civilization, but I think social and technological progress over the last couple of centuries has done a lot to make it really explode to levels that are a little brain-rattling when you stop and think about it.

[ganondoodle]

you know, a plothole (kinda, its one to me) i havent even talked about before is .. how is there basically no sonau tech in the past, or isnt shown nor used; the only thing i remember is that weird half assed way to try and make us care about the apparent time zelda had spent there and tell us in a tiny text you have to find scattered above the sky that she "tamed a construct beast" which .... could be anything bc its so vague and non-interesting and .. maybe one or two non-combat constructs in the background in a few of the cutscenes

but given how many constructs there are alive in totks present, and more are broken down that were probably working back in the past, did they even use anything of it against ganondorf? like, i know its called a war but we only see ganondorf charging on that badass horse we never see again and that bit lasts like .. 5 seconds? and he just ... somehow ends up in that cave so far below the earth with the other sages? HOW did he even get there

the constructs you find in the game can be pretty tanky and packing quite a punch, theres auto-targeting mini tanks, lasers and fire/electric/ice throwers, bombs and otherwise explosives, couldnt they have easily fought against some bokblins even if they were miasmafied

or am i supposed to believe ganondorf became THAT strong just through that little magic pebble (isnt that a little insulting too?), while all the other stone having people are so much more inferior AND have gans bossfight not be that hard is kinda ... weird? i know link is special an all, but he doesnt have a stone and the sages dont really add to his powerlevel, the msot they do is distract gans little clones for a bit

doesnt that, and how irrelevant the whole sonau tech actually is to the plot, feel even more like its a thing put in there just to showcase that they could do it (like ... a tech demo) and like its an unfitting sandbox element just for some very dedicated players to build entire war maschines for viral videos out of but the vast majority will not have that kind of patience nor fun with that (i for one do not care to laser explode or otherwise terrorize little enemy camps with otherwise overly ridiculous weapons bc its not fun and really not worth the effort to me)

[heavensarcher]

*spoilers* SOTE Lore/story Thoughts

I'm not through it all yet - I'm avoiding various parts of this DLC which is, I might add, beating me black and blue - but I do have some lore thoughts.

I don't hate the idea of Miquella being a lil fucked up - it matches with every other member of their family at this point - but I have really enjoyed all the St. Trina stuff! The cross in the fissure saying I abandon here my love then finding the remains of her slumbering in the depths was actually beautiful. This other aspect of them, this part that represented their love and kindness for others - abandoned for their greater plan, praying for you to stop their key aspect

This deepening of charm to bewitch and sleep to eternal sleep of death has done some wild things to their characterisation. I don't know if I vibe with it fully but its certainly changed Miquella from being this kind of do no wrong figure to someone who has always had darker aspects, even if they chose mostly compassion

It puts into question a lot of the relationships we have thought Miquella has had with others (family and otherwise) because now its a little unclear to what extent they wanted to have that relationship or to what extent it was overexaggerated by Miquella for their plans.

This all said it now means the entire Marika/Radagon line is pretty irredeemable in various ways so born it all down I guess

Messmer is a little depressing in a way. Here's a child who did as their Mother told them, only to be locked away in this endless war growing crazier by the moment and becoming beholden to the Abyssal Serpent. His lines when you die, particularly in 2nd phase, tell you this man fully thinks he's damning himself to kill you. Even if he is questioning his Mother's plan, it's only in the way that lets him carry on with the last command he actually heard from her. Her blessing says shes now entirely abandoned this child that destoryed entire civilisations because she asked for it. Its sad as fuck

Rellana is interesting to me because her remembrance states she was a Carian princess that ditched to stick by Messmer's side - seemingly because she knew his path following his Mother would lead him to ruin. I wonder if she followed pre-Radagon betrayal? Like Messmer in his looks felt very Radagon/Renala child to me and boy howdy another one off with the snakes - Rykard clearly had an inspiration. It also solves the mystery of why snakes were so hated before Rykard became snake - they were either tied to Messmer OR the Abyssal Serpent (hi I'd like to know more about this outer god please and thank)

I really like that the hornsent have the ability to chant into existance these powerful forms. Like, together they lift up others of them to demi-god status. The Dancing Lion being this actual piloted beast (a la Chinese lion dances) with 2 priests(?) controlling it, chanted into existance by the Hornsent Grandma is this awesome idea and it was terrifying continuing to summon new elements which scared me :D

Hey who the fuck are those massive tanky bitches everywhere and what's the lore on those lil bastards. Just them and their fucked up dogs. Seemingly very Mohg and the Omens coded? Like some of them have a "leader" with something reminescent of Mohg's trident which implies a connection to the formless mother and they have started like eating each other which seems her vibe.

As a sidenote - Easter Eggs abound which I really enjoy. The fact you can drain the Church District a la DS1, there's an auto crossbow a la gael's, those beast claws are bloodborne, there's a few armour sets that are black knight coded or fume knight coded, the monk moves are very reminiscent of the senpou monks, Gaius is very Gyoubu Oniwa

I didn't really want FINGER LORE but here we are with FINGERLORE THANKS YMIR. So the fingers being born is horrific to me. I did think Ymir had some interesting takes on the fingers being led astray and having come from a mother that was wrong (and then getting dropped on Mother Of Fingers was....horrifying). They in themselves are very bloodborne-y which is neat.

It was always very prominent in the base game, but this continuing narrative of conquest and destruction is still very satisfying to me. (Its very christianity coded oops). I think it was more...hazed over in the base game? Not in a bad way but in a "lot at all this literal gold! we'll plaster it over the blood and bones so you can't see them" kinda way that made it all the more dark. Like for the most part this is a conquest that won so completely there's little left to say otherwise. In the DLC we see the extremes of that war. This is a conquest still on-going. There's blood, ash, bone, and fire everywhere. The entire continent is covered in GRAVESITES. It's this incredibly violent "we haven't had time to rewrite history as the victors yet" and it is entirely narratively satisfying that in this shadow place, all the cracks are showing.

[certainempatheticturkeymuffin]

Funny Genshin Headcanons Based Off of my In-Game Teams!

Super long post, but I had fun with this!

Please note that I don't know all the lore perfectly, so some of these may be out of character. It's also colored a lot by my experiences playing them, especially the adventuring teams ♡

-

(General Traveling Team) Venti, Kokomi, Bennett, Kazuha

Kokomi has saved everyone at least once and will make everyone stand next to the jellyfish after a fight whether or not they're injured.

She also constantly freezes herself and her teammates, but her healing means they can't really get mad at her. She can certainly get mad at herself though.

Venti and Kazuha have a rivalry and often compare poetry in moments of repose.

Kazuha will use a leaf to play backing music to Venti's lullabies at night. He always falls asleep before the end of the song.

Venti and Kazuha also get into stupid competitions while climbing mountains. Venti frequently runs out of stamina, and Kazuha frequently slides all the way back down after misjudging the angle of the slope.

Bennett is beloved by the group. Venti is the most frequent victim of his bad luck.

Meaning: Venti is frequently set on fire and hit by enemies that really shouldn't have been able to hit him.

Most of the time it was in a genuine effort to protect Bennett.

The rest of the time it is Bennett accidentally burning the grass and causing Venti to suffer.

Venti is the one to most frequently need a Statue of the Seven. Kokomi normally has everyone else covered.

Despite his luck, Bennett is the only one to have never needed a Statue of the Seven... yet.

Kokomi takes hits that she doesn't think the others will survive. There's about a quarter of a chance that she just ends up dying herself.

Kazuha frequently takes risks while gliding. He hasn't died yet.

Kokomi does lecture him for it. It doesn't stop him.

Kazuha is the go-to miner because of his easy plunge attacks. This does not make the process quick.

Despite Kokomi's passive, everyone has drowned at least once.

Kazuha has drowned the most.

When no one wants to fight they have Venti plop himself on a vantage point and snipe at enemies from afar. It's a time-consuming process, but they've done it a few times.

Venti has scored the most critical hits, but Bennett has scored the most kills.

Most of those kills have been Venti. Via Burning.

Lawachurls and vishaps in particular take great joy in ramming Bennett off cliffs, but he's either tanky enough to survive or lucky enough to land in deep water.

If someone else tries to take the hit they always die and have to be brought to a statue.

All in all, they like hanging out with each other and are pretty good friends. Kokomi is unfortunately the responsible one, but Bennett doesn't exactly cause trouble on purpose.

(Freeze Team) Kaeya, Chongyun, Xingqiu, Kazuha

Since Chongyun and Xingqiu are stuck to the hip, Kaeya hangs out more with Kazuha than the other two. They're friendly but not exactly friends.

Kaeya thinks Kazuha is sus but won't say it.

Kazuha thinks Kaeya is sus bc his vibes are off.

Xingqiu thinks Kaeya is sus, but Kazuha's cool because Beidou trusts him.

Chongyun thinks they're both cool but that Kaeya takes too much joy in teasing him.

Kaeya also has... unorthodox methods that no one likes. They're effective... but also likely to give heart attacks and grey hairs.

Xingqiu does most of the talking.

Chongyun occasionally overheats, Kaeya takes great pleasure in throwing cryo at him. No one's quite sure if he's being mocking or genuinely helpful. Either way, it gives them enough time to make him an emergency popsicle.

When they lack the means to make a popsicle, they have actually just straight up run to Dragonspine. Kaeya usually ends up as the one carrying him, even though he's the DPS and really should have his sword hand free.

Kazuha appreciates Chongyun because he doesn't have to mine with plunges.

There isn't really a healer, so if they're injured after a fight and too far from a Statue, they just have Xingqiu use his Rain Swords and very slowly heal each of them up to full health.

It usually isn't that bad because they don't often fight things that can't be frozen. That doesn't mean the enemy won't get in a few hits before they freeze though.

Kaeya and Chongyun working together means ice-bridging is very fast.

That doesn't mean Xingqiu hasn't slipped off a few times.

Xingqiu and Kaeya can both cook. Chongyun trusts neither of them to do so and usually ends up eating whatever fruit Kazuha foraged instead.

Cryo slimes are their mortal enemies.

All in all, they're mostly friendly, but Kaeya causes some friction with Chongyun and Kazuha in particular. (This man woke up a ruin guard to help out in a fight. He can and will use dangerous methods to get the job done.)

(DPS Venti) Venti, Layla, Bennett, Faruzan

Faruzan really likes them, because Bennett and Venti always call her Madam.

Layla sometimes forgets but she gets a pass because she's constantly sleep deprived.

Layla's only job is to provide them (or at least Venti) a shield. They don't make her do anything else because she deserves a nap. She will sometimes set up her Celestial Dreamsphere for them though!

Since Bennett is the only healer, they make occasional trips to a statue of the seven to avoid wasting his burst.

Faruzan actually ran the numbers to see how much stronger she and Bennett were making Venti... and promptly threw them away.

(No one needs to know how powerful that bard actually is.)

Faruzan and Venti will exchange archery tips, alongside general information about the study of language. Since Venti is always listening and participating, Faruzan has decided he's her friend for life.

And also his views on language through a bard's lens are extremely inreresting.

(And sometimes a bit too well-informed)

Bennett understands exactly zero of what anyone is talking about, but is happy enough to act as Layla's pillow (he's warm) or Faruzan's captive audience (she knows he doesn't understand, but by the archons she will find a way to teach him.)

Venti thinks Faruzan is a nice change of pace; Mondstadt doesn't have many die-hard academics like her, and her area of study is definitely something any bard would take even a mild interest in.

Layla likes that they don't try to make her participate. Sometimes Venti even helps her with her studies, and points her in the right direction if she needs it.

(She won't question why the bard is so informed. She heard there was an astrologist in Mondstadt. That's good enough for her.)

Bennett is like a little brother, and he's warm. She sometimes can't help just falling asleep on him.

Though occasionally there's a rude awakening when a tree branch nearly falls on them or a slime decides to attack.

Venti plays them lullabies every night, to ensure peaceful dreams and restful sleep. Those are the best sleeps they've ever had.

All in all, they're very good friends. Venti and Faruzan are besties, and Layla and Bennett are the little siblings they drag around.

(Aggravate) Tighnari, Fischl, Lisa, Baizhu

Tighnari and Lisa have a mutual respect for each other, given that they both told the Akademiya to fuck off.

Baizhu is an honorary member, because even though he was never part of the Akademiya (i think), he's still researching new medicines outside of the Akademiya's influence. And he's extremely good at it.

Baizhu finds Fischl interesting and somewhat annoying, but only in the way that all teenagers are a bit annoying.

Changsheng and Oz are good friends and like snarking each other. Oz is more polite about it than Changsheng, so she's determined to get him to be outright rude to her.

Lisa is a very lazy person and often just sets up her burst and lets everyone else do the work. Changsheng can respect this, Tighnari and Baizhu find this annoying.

Tighnari will pay attention to all of them during fights, but only really ends up giving Fischl tips afterwards since the other two won't really care (Baizhu because he's a healer, and Lisa because she won't put more effort in.)

Fischl appreciates the archery sessions, but Tighnari is now her scariest teacher.

The Guild has noticed a sharp improvement in her fighting skills though. Especially since she's had the honor of helping Reckless Pallad out a few times.

Lisa is protective of Fischl in a hands-off way. Early on, if either Baizhu or Tighnari got too close she called their attention to herself. After a few weeks she decided she could trust them not to hurt her.

Baizhu and Tighnari have a mild sort of rivalry, and both are glad to be learning more about plants from other regions. They've both learned from each other, and both have new plants to look into that might help with certain ailments.

Fischl thinks Baizhu is alright, but not someone she'd seek out for a chat unless she was sick.

Tighnari intimidates her, but he feels trustworthy. And he's always willing to teach her new things.

Lisa gets on Tighnari's nerves, but she thinks he's alright. Definitely the sort of friend that Cyno needs.

Baizhu doesn't care much for Lisa, but she and Changsheng get along, so he thinks she can't be too bad.

All in all, they can work together, but they aren't close.

(Burgeon) Ayato, Thoma, Aether, Kokomi

Thoma and Aether are the sweetest beans that make sure the group runs smoothly

Not that Ayato or Kokomi would cause many problems, as both are pretty levelheaded.

Kokomi is no longer the sole responsible one, as Thoma has joined her as the Mom Friend, and Aether does his best but is also occasionally reckless.

Ayato is the gremlin that can and will hide his troublemaking tendencies only so you have plausible deniability.

With Thoma and Aether, this group never goes hungry.

Ayato appreciates Kokomi's strategic mind and thinks she's a valuable ally, perhaps even a friend.

Kokomi likewise appreciates Ayato's willingness to get his hands dirty and how he always puts his family above others.

Aether thinks Kokomi and Ayato can get a bit intense when playing... literally anything, but he's glad they're getting along.

Thoma notices that Kokomi has a small social battery and makes sure to organize time where he takes Ayato and Paimon off to explore while Aether stays behind to watch camp.

This works because Kokomi knows that Aether knows about her introversion, so she allows herself to take breaks and naps.

Ayato and Kokomi do occasionally get into political arguments, but Thoma and Aether both do their best to smother any fires before they start.

Ayato is the one to most frequently get injured, as setting up his burst takes a few very valuable seconds.

Thoma's shields can only block so much, and adding Aether's crystallize shields doesn't do much.

Thankfully Kokomi is more than willing to assist.

Thoma spends his evenings helping Aether brush up on his sewing while Ayato and Kokomi talk politics and play shogi.

All in all, they're a close-knit group that have a mutual respect and care for each other. Given time, they'll all be very good friends.

(Physical) Freminet, Xingqiu, Beidou, Mika

Beidou does her best to bring Mika and Freminet out of their shells. It only works half the time.

Beidou can respect Freminet's skill in battle though. He's impressive.

Xingqiu makes it his mission to befriend the two most timid people he's ever met, and they REALLY aren't having it.

Ironically, Freminet and Mika become pretty good friends because of Xingqiu's... socializing.

Beidou suddenly has to become the responsible adult, and it's a miracle no one's died doing something reckless yet.

Mika respects Beidou and Freminet's battle prowess and maritime intelligence. He also admires Xingqiu's dedication.

That doesn't mean he wants to socialize with him.

Freminet thinks Beidou is respectable and that Mika is considerate and intelligent. Both have valuable skill sets, and Mika is quiet enough that they can coexist comfortably without socializing.

Freminet dislikes Xingqiu and finds him annoying.

Mika keeps a map everywhere they go. If no one's paying attention, he'll run off to finish drawing the mountain or lake.

This is worse because he's the worst fighter of their group. He can heal, and that's the only thing keeping Beidou from tying a leash to him.

Likewise, Freminet will occasionally just,,,, dip. If he doesn't want to socialize, he can and will dive into the nearest body of water.

Beidou's the only one that can follow him and drag him back out.

But she doesn't have a scuba helmet so there's only so much she can do.

Xingqiu is annoyed that Mika and Freminet are so guarded around him, but he acknowledges that it took him months to befriend Chongyun

He isn't giving up.

He also thinks Beidou is super cool, and those two do most of the talking.

All in all, Beidou has her work cut out for her, especially since Xingqiu doesn't realize he's the reason Freminet keeps diving into the deepest bodies of water he can find lol.

They can work together decently well, due to Beidou's leadership, but she's about to punt all three of them into the sea for being idiots.

(Electro-Charged) Heizou, Beidou, Fischl, Barbara

Rip Barbara. She has patience, but not enough of it for Beidou, Heizou, AND Fischl.

Beidou and Heizou are terrible influences.

Barbara cursed for the first time because of Beidou and nearly gave Rosaria a heart attack.

Fischl finds Heizou to be pretty cool, but finds his intelligent gaze to be a bit unnerving. She's not sure she wants to know what conclusion he's come to about her.

Heizou's still trying to figure out if she's actually a reincarnator, since the Traveler proved the existence of other worlds. He's been asking pointed questions to Oz, who's having none of his shit and being purposely obtuse. Fischl is less opaque, but speaks in riddles that he isn't always certain he's solved perfectly.

Otherwise, he thinks she's pleasantly odd.

Oz is just having fun annoying him.

(He doesn't want to know what conclusion Heizou comes to. Either his life is a lie, or his Prinzessin's world is gone. Neither is ideal.)

Beidou thinks Heizou's a cool drinking buddy. She doesn't care what he thinks about her, or that he thinks he's got her all figured out. She's just herself, no need to stress over what others know.

Heizou respects Beidou. She's a hardworking and extremely intelligent woman that's willing to bend the rules to help people. He'll still arrest her if he has to, but he'll probably argue for a lighter sentence if that ever happens.

If that does ever happen, the chase itself would be payment enough for such a small favor. A woman as intelligent as she wouldn't make an investigation easy.

Barbara likes Heizou well enough, but thinks that perhaps one can be too smart for their own good. As one blessed with the power of Anemo, Barbara is sure Lord Barbatos is watching over him.

Heizou thinks Barbara's a nice girl, if a bit too nice. Her faith in Barbatos is admirable, it almost makes him want to go and pray himself, but he won't. As someone so kind, he decides to look out for her where he can. She'd be too easy to take advantage of.

He's also aware that she has at least two other guardian angels, but adding a third won't hurt. Such busy people can't be everywhere, affer all.

Beidou likes telling Fischl and Barbara stories in their downtime, and attempts to get Barbara to sing sea shanties.

She doesn't shout them at the top of her lungs, she adds melody where a rhythm is enough, but her voice is pretty so Beidou doesn't mind.

Barbara is often inspired by them to write songs, her favorite is of the girl who lost everything and rebuilt herself under Barbatos's watchful eye.

She doesn't know if Fischl's tales are true. It doesn't matter, she's still a child of Mondstadt regardless.

Beidou and Heizou occasionally clash over tactics, they're right and wrong about an equal amount of the time. More frequently, they're both right. It makes fighting alongside them an interesting experience.

Barbara is very careful to heal everyone, especially knowing that all three are under Barbatos's protection. A child of Mondstadt, a child of Anemo, and a sailor who prays for steady winds, she'll treat them equally.

Even if they weren't, she'd treat them, but an extra incentive to be kind never hurt.

None of them are especially reckless, and Heizou and Beidou's leadership wouldn't let them be anyway, so any mission they go on together is completed with efficiency.

All in all, a bit eccentric, but they all like each other and work together well.

Honorable Mentions!

Though not frequent teammates, they team up often enough to deserve a mention. Most of them are Abyss Teams!

(Inazuma Exploration) Venti, Kokomi, Fischl, Kazuha

Kokomi dislikes being on a team with these three (four?) She can't compete with their poetry and frankly doesn't want to. Oz is the only other sane one.

Fischl brings out the worst in Venti and Kazuha. Venti takes her presence as permission to rhyme every line, and Kazuha always decides to start bouncing haiku ideas off of them about half an hour in.

This team often only meets in Inazuma, and they have terrible luck.

Every. Single. One of them has gotten struck by lightning.

Kokomi is working overtime on this team, and yet everyone is usually half-dead regardless because Inazuma is extremely unfriendly.

All of them are socially exhausted when they part ways, but Kokomi is the only one that actually shows it.

Throughout all this, Venti and Kazuha are still at it with their mountain climbing rivalry. Kokomi's had to drag them both to a statue of the seven after they got struck by lightning mid climb.

Kokomi actually finds Fischl mostly pleasant when Venti and Kazuha are off doing their own thing.

(Sumeru Exploration) Venti, Tighnari, Fischl, Kazuha

Usually meet for foraging missions in Sumeru. The lack of a healer is noticeable.

Tighnari has patience, but he usually wants to bash his head in with a rock because they won't. shut. up.

Kazuha is the most tolerable of the three to him.

He leads them into withering zones on purpose sometimes.

Tighnari does let Oz sit on his shoulder or head sometimes, because even he needs the occasional break from Fischl and Venti's combined word-vomit.

(Burning) Tighnari, Bennett, Baizhu, Kazuha

Usually only team up in the abyss, but are a surprisingly good team.

Tighnari is usually the one to trigger self-burning and is thus Baizhu's least favorite patient.

Bennett and Baizhu make for a wonderful team, and Changsheng lets him pat her head.

Tighnari has a mostly good time around this team, since Baizhu and Kazuha combine to form a rather calming pair.

Bennett reminds him of Collei. No one will know if he sneaks extra bandages into the kid's pack when they part ways.

Baizhu and Tighnari frequently get into passive aggressive snark matches. It never gets heated, and Changsheng seems to find it funny.

Baizhu gives them all a top up when they part ways. If they ever need actual medicine he'll drag them back to Liyue and figure out who to bill for the medicine later.

(Melt) Kaeya, Chongyun, Bennett, Kazuha

Again, usually an Abyss team, but surprisingly good at working together.

Half the time Chongyun forgets to switch off his Noblesse pieces, which means him and Bennett are both fighting over the buff and lowering the team's overall DPS.

Kaeya also forgets to switch off his Blizzard Strayer half the time, and thus usually has an abysmal crit rate and worse EM

Kazuha has an easy enough job as the grouper, he just lets his burst off when Bennett's field is active so he swirls pyro

Bennett has the hardest job as both the only healer and the only one with energy issues. No one really dies, but they usually aren't at high health going into the next chamber.

Bennett and Kaeya usually do a coinflip to decide who gets to use the Mistsplitter.

If Beidou isn't on the second side, she'll let Chongyun fight her so he can use the Wolf's Gravestone. Kazuha is always impressed when he actually comes back with it. If he loses, or Beidou's using it, he has to use the Sac Greatsword.

They all get along rather well, with Bennett being the only energetic one. Sometimes Kaeya and Chongyun clash, but Kazuha is always quick to mediate. When all else fails, Bennett getting involved makes them both feel guilty.

When they part ways Kaeya likes spraying Chongyun with Cryo. None of them can tell if it's supposed to be helpful or mocking.

(Bloom) Venti, Xingqiu, Aether, Kokomi

Usually a Floor 11 team, and very good at protecting the monolith.

Venti's normal attacks do impressive damage, and adding Xingqiu to it only makes them more so.

Aether's blooms do incredible damage. He's nearly killed himself and Venti on multiple occasions, but Kokomi is there for a reason.

Aether has ER issues, so he sometimes sacrifices EM to go 2pc Guilded 2pc Emblem if they're stuggling to clear.

They might take a while to clear, but the Monolith has never gone below 95% in their care.

Xingqiu gets along very well with both Venti and Kokomi, and the Traveler is there as their mutual friend.

Aether is more talkative on this team than on others, owed mostly to Venti being sure to include him.

(Jadeplume Terrorshroom Killers) Keqing, Fischl, Beidou, Kazuha

Their only purpose is to kill the Dendro Chicken as quickly as possible. Are they all usually on life support by the end? Yes. But they kill the Dendro Chicken Very Fast.

Thankfully Keqing and Beidou are both capable of counteracting Fischl's influence on Kazuha.

Beidou's starting to think Venti is the bad influence, because she actually thinks Fischl's pretty cool.

Oz thinks Keqing is his favorite person, after his Prinzessin, of course.

Keqing just wants to get the job done so she can get back to being productive. She's usually the one to make off with the lower grade artifacts that the Traveler doesn't care about.

Beidou always drags Kazuha over for a meal and a chat afterwards, so they can catch up on what his travels have been like.

(Sunfire: Burning Edition) Tighnari, Jean, Bennett, Kazuha

The team pulled out when Sunfire is needed for anything.

Jean is usually on Clam, since Kazuha has VV covered.

Are two healers enough to keep Tighnari alive? The answer to that is: sometimes!

Jean thinks Bennett is Mondstadt incarnate, the picture of everything she strives to protect. And also that he's a disaster magnet that she should probably protect regardless.

Bennett thinks Jean is super cool and is honestly fanboying most of the time because she's always in her office! He actually gets to see her!

Tighnari respects Jean's levelheadedness and is impressed that she's quite a bit kinder than him despite being just as strict.

He's also gone from irritated to mildly impressed at how many disasters Bennett manages to find himself in.

Normally he'd chew out an adventurer for being stupid, but with Bennett it is a genuine coincidence.

A fascinating thing to witness, Tighnari's started making notes every time they meet outside the Abyss.

Kazuha finds them all to be pleasant company, but is curious that someone with an anemo vision could be so disciplined.

Other than his mild curiosity, he respects her, and puts in a good word for her with Beidou just in case they decide to trade.

[razorblade180]

So I got nilou recently and I'm dying to know what your build is for her! I wish to run crit nilou!

Because this is a rare occasion, I’m actually going to yap about this. First, my build is slightly expensive given the weapon, but before this I used a Jade Cutter if that’s available to you. Idk if you use BP weapons but Wolf Fang is another possibility as well as Festering Desire if you have that.

Her very first artifact set that I had for her was Gilded Dreams but a crit based Flowers of Paradise Lost also really helps balance her personal damage while maintaining the actual purpose of her kit. The current build you see is my personal brain damage that allows her to do personal damage why getting 50k HP; allowing her entire bloom team to still reap good benefits from her passive since it’s based on her HP.

In my prompts I always make the joke that every dendro and hydro character furthers her agenda but it’s quite literally the honest truth. Nilou is a dancer and the teammates by her side will determine how much leads or plays support. This even includes Candace, who gives a reason to even care about Nilou’s normal attack (don’t do it. I’m just proving a point)

The reason crit Nilou works shockingly well like this is because there’s not an enemy that rejects hydro and dendro at the same time; pyro aura enemies are also automatically screwed because her vaporize is on her strongest attacks and all scale with HP. I don’t know the state of your account but here’s some funny things I’ve learned:

Yaoyao is perfect for both stances of Nilou. She’s with sword dancing next to the rabbit or Yaoyao is jumping around with a hydro ring.

Collei is also good with both stances and likes dendro traveler for wider coverage.

Xingqui shreds hydro resistance and Yelan’s bursts activates on Nilou’s skill. Pick one of them and watch the numbers go up.

Mono Hydro is a situational thing but it’s really funny when it works. Especially when Yelan or Furina

Double dendro and hydro is always a safe bet; especially with Kokomi. It keeps your other characters pretty safe.

If you’re using Furina you either have Baizhu or using DMC. Nahida will die and a healer is mandatory.

If both abyss teams want Nahida, give Nahida to the other team. Collei and Traveler are free and if you have Kokomi you’ll be set. If not, you have Barbara. Alternatively, if you have Yaoyao then swap out Collei and add Xingqui. At the end of the day, you’re a bloom team with personal damage possible and a tanky character.

There’s a lot of experimenting to do with rotations depending on the teammates. In some cases it’s smart to not use a character’s skill while the other do, just so application never stops.

Catalyst users are your friends.

Vape teams are not worth the stress (yet) Let’s see what Natlan cooks.

Anyways, I love Nilou and I hope this helps. I’ll leave you with one more funny nugget of info I’m not encouraging you to do. I have two copies of Furina’s sword. One for Nilou, and one for Furina. The passive increases HP and skill damage when teammates lose HP, so a bloom team gets stronger but also kills you faster; which also makes you stronger…

It’s a very dangerous circle and one of the few things that will kill even Kokomi if you stop being careful.

[smittyw]

i forgot my dailies so heres some of the au redesigns ive been up to 🚶‍➡️🏃‍➡️🤸 return of the funnies, new and improved!! moonstone, plume agate & tigers eye!!!

lots more lore i never dropped + fusions below the cut- but this post will get long hahaa

making the post pretty for you :-) ok?

their rundown is that plume and tiger crash land on earth and team up with an already stranded moony, hoping to get back with an impressive enough report to save them from trouble. when this starts to seem less and less of a possibility, they have to face their feelings about staying on earth, and whether itd be worth it to take desperate measures just to return to a status quo they were never cut out for to begin with. theyre more or less minor villains of the week who have their own rich inner lives completely offscreen so i can claim theyre canon compliant.

moony- got retconned to be a bit of a fool jingling miserably across the court, while blue diamond pondered whether this was a good enough use for a former espionage class of gem. shes busy mostly crying about other things tho. and moonstone is too. on the first pity mission away from home they decide to sit pretty and stall until blue forgets to ask for updates, maybe forever.

plume- leader of a squadron of tigers eyes grunts (theyre a scout class, expendable and fast close range idiots without the benefit of tankiness). she's outwardly very tough on them but hides a lot of fondness for only them to see. she also hides an independent streak that fuels her history buff posturing, and is getting dangerously close to acting on her fantasy of becoming the next rose quartz.

tiger- the weak link of the squadron whos had her ass saved plenty of times by plume before. to prove shes not dead weight, she throws herself at every problem expecting to fail a few times and break a few limbs before succeeding. shes grown neurotic & wary of attention, and is liable to just go looney tunes at the slightest opportunity. if freedom calls she wont hesitate to scamper.

& hey! fusions as promised! helps to know what theyre working with dynamics-wise:

pietersite (piet)- shes very serene on the surface level while masked and doesnt speak, but underneath it kind of a terror...due to the constant dual internal monologue that gets broadcast telepathically from her out of sync brain...at least tiger doesnt mind it. theyre not very stable as a fusion due to an inherent mismatch in how their component gems communicate. it takes time before they get a handle on their combined strengths, so they dont form often.

unakite (una)- shes the worst and i love her, and she loves herself more (until she doesnt, at which point she combusts to avoid dealing with it, and both parties forget what happened). shes the manifestation of a long term work friendship & is therefore her own right hand man. her first inclination is to plot, then to destroy, then applaud herself for it. she has illusions of grandeur to become a permafusion due to her remarkable stability while formed, but has too much of a one track mind to last forever. still, shes around a lot when the situation calls for it.

chrysoprase (chryssie)- hes a delight but also sucks ass at being helpful in most situations that require more than chilling smiling and having fun. hes pretty stable but prone to long spells of isolation, and spends all his time on confusing hobbies that burn him out big time. plume finds them really frustrating and it takes her ages to stop wishing theyd just stay apart, after realizing their existence is like necessary therapy to the goobers involved.

p.s. all three gems use she/her initially as gems do, and plume continues to throughout. moony is very taken with human culture and later puts in a lot of effort to be like them, so he adopts their concept of gender and prefers he/they instead. tiger mirrors whatever she finds interesting and doesnt really care, so all her fusions default to the other party's preference

p.p.s, all the little refs in the corners of the fusion pics are outdated so pls ignore the discrepancies

i think ive said my piece for now.. if u made it this far, big thanks & feel free to take the mic, im trying to be less of a lore recluse !! this au does things to my brain.. id love to explain each of them and their little personal arcs in better detail soon, but plotty things can wait until i get the nerve to start doing comics again. CIAO!

[illarian-rambling]

🐹 for the OC ask game?

Confession: I've never played a Pokémon game in my life. I just had the cards as a kid cause I thought the art looked pretty, so I'm not really sure how to answer this one.

In lieu of that, I'm gonna answer about a game I know way too much about: dnd!

🎲 If your OC played a pen and paper RPG, what class would they pick? Warrior, mage, thief, ranger, cleric, paladin, druid, necromancer, bard (or other, if that’s not enough).

Izjik would be a gloomstalker ranger with a 3 level dip into battlemaster fighter to help facilitate that melee build. She'd have good strength, dex, and con, but abysmal everything else. Her maneuvers would be tripping attack, goading attack, and ambush.

Sepo would be a swashbuckler rogue with expertise in stealth and intimidation. His charisma would be high just for that intimidation, and his panache ability would just be him giving people a death glare. He'd duel wield daggers.

Twenari - despite being in Illari terms, a sorcerer who gets magic from her blood - acts much more like a wizard in the practical sense. She'd be an evocation wizard with the warcaster feat. Later on, she'd probably take a dip into artificer.

Djek would be a thief rogue/shadow sorcerer multiclass with high dex and charisma, but low strength and con. I thought about making him an arcane trickster, but he does damage with his magic that would fit closer to a sorcerer. He'd definitely be higher into rogue than sorcerer.

Astra would be an artillerist artificer, despite fighting like a full caster, rather than a hald caster. The arcane cannon ability could be reflavored as her ribbon coat, while her infusions are all the gadgets she makes. She'd probably take the skilled feat.

Mashal is pure battlemaster fighter. He has high strength and con, but utterly terrible wisdom. His maneuvers would be bait and switch, disarming attack, and riposte. He'd also have the mage slayer feat.

Ivander would have one level of celestial warlock for flavor, then the rest would be in inquisitive rogue, as he doesn't really use magic all that much, but he is one hell of a detective. He'd abuse tf out of steady aim and probably take the gunner feat.

Elsind's main battle strength is being slippery and they fight without weapons, so I guess that makes them a monk? I'd say way of long death monk because they're pretty tanky, but he's too nervous to do much fighting.

Avymere, as much as I love making fighters, fits way too well to be anything but an oath of devotion paladin, even if they have no divine magic in the actual story. I feel like they'd have the sentinel feat as well.

Thanks for the question, and forgive me for derailing it, I just love talking about dnd :)

[the-punforgiven]

All My Tarnished In Elden Ring

2 of you said do it so I'm doing it lmao

My first character is Ari, they were my very first character and are currently my "main" character. They started out as a raw Strength Claymore-only build and just kinda stayed that way until after I'd beaten the final boss. My original intent was to have them do the rad Carian Sword stuff as a sort of spellsword/battlemage thing, and while they can do that now, I just kinda waited a little too long to spec them into INT so now they're just a friendly summon who's a tanky sword-wielding sword mage who can deal a casual 7453 damage with Carian Grandeur under the right circumstances (As for weapons since they're my Main character I've got a bunch of random shit I've leveled for hyper specific situations, but Claymore is still, as always, Old Reliable for them)

My second character is one named Bryndegaard, she's a VERY heavy Strength/Faith build that I like, accidentally made good lmao Turns out guard counters with the Great Mace do a lot of stance damage Her shield doesn't have an Ash of War on it, and her mace has Prayerful Strike, so even if someone does manage to hit her through it, her vigor is so good and Prayerful Strike is so strong that the damage is usually pretty negligible. She's my tank/healer build first and foremost, but I also have the Envoy's Longhorn levelled up for her just in case I need to absolutely decimate a large boss like Placidusax or Astel. The Longhorn also worked surprisingly well against Elden Beast, as turns out its 80% Holy Damage negation doesn't mean much if you output too much damage for it to matter

My third character's named Edge, Lord He was supposed to be my Spooky Scary Death Mage but tbh I haven't touched him in a while so right now he's just a really unoptimized scythe guy with like, Rancorcall and that's it. I tried to make him look like a black metal musician and I think I did really well, but he also looks so angy it's really funny to me fhdjksahfkxz

Fourth character is Vlad, he's my funny little Dracula Boy. He's not very good but I love him nonetheless. He's built around claws, bleed, and Lifesteal Fist, which I'm very glad was recently buffed because man, this guy was not great to play before that lmao Also I love how tiny his head looks with that cape it's really funny to me

5th character is Guano Gobbler. Very original. Do Not Steal. Idk man I wanted to get the Dung Eater ending at least once, and idk I didn't want to get it on anyone else. I did use the Dung Eater's facial presets for him, I just thought it'd be funny to make him bald too

6th character is the lovely Cap'n Rumguzzler. My entire thought process behind him was 'want pirate' and then I made one. I have no idea what build I was gonna make with him and as a result he fucking sucks but I love him anyway. He also has a cannon hidden in his back pocket or something (I am aware what his name is one letter away from, that just straight-up did not occur to me at all when I was first naming him)

7th character is my Gravity Boy, I don't like his name so you don't get to know it. I've decided he's not going to progress past Maliketh because I still want at least one character I can co-op with in Leyndel. He's exactly what he says on the tin, he's got a Zweihander with Waves of Darkness and he's got a bunch of gravity spells. Not much else to say tbh aside from that I really like how the purple of the gravity magic goes with his All Black Everything look tbh. It's just very aesthetically pleasing to me

8th character is The Legend Herself, 4PattyCheeseBurg. She's built with the express purpose of having the highest possible health achievable in game. Her first 85 levels were all in Vigor (She started out with 14). She only uses the Star Fist. Red Sun gets stuck in my head every time I play her. She's somehow the strongest character I've ever had for Colosseum battles. I've made people just straight-up avoid her completely for entire matches. Demigods fall before her. The earth itself shatters at her victories. She's so fun to play I love her

Her health bar looks like this btw.

9th character is, regrettably, RudolphReindeer. My friend wanted to do a funny holiday-themed run and he'd already claimed Santa, so this is the best I could come up with. You don't get to see his face up close because I hate it

10th is my sleep build, Eurythmics (Because, y'know, Sweet Dreams) idk what else to say about them aside from that they're here, they do sleep, I don't know what to do for their fashion, and they're Not Very Good

11th character is just this one, I've named her Sellsword because idk what else to do with her She's a Quality/Quality-Mage build and I just kinda use her for testing out all sorts of wacky shit trying to wrangle huge damage and big AoE's (Fun Fact: Hoarah Loux's Earthshaker is buffed by the Highland Axe, and the buff stacks if you have a second one, but for some reason it is not buffed by the Roar Talisman) I like making her dual wield stuff also

and the 12th (last) character is this one, She's a Quality build with a bit of arcane. With her I typically use either the Claymore, Marais Sword, or Eleonora's twinblade, and the Dragon Communion Seal in her off hand. Her damage is surprisingly good for me barely playing up her bleed potential, and for some reason she tends to get summoned by randos way more than my other builds, couldn't possibly imagine why She's in the Hoslow set here, but sometimes I switch it up and put her in the Briar armor (With the Vagabond legs/arms) instead. idk just kinda depends on mood but I think the Hoslow chest's red bits compliment her eyes idk

And that's it, that's all of them minus a few I started, got like 5 feet from Limgrave, and haven't touched since

Elden Ring 10/10 game, absolutely consumed my life 👍

[muffinrecord]

Shitty Review of Uwasa Mikoto

I keep rewriting the big review post (the problem is that talking about Uwasa Mikoto means talking about Regular Mikoto and it's a headache) so let's do a little one with my thoughts that is less intimidating:

TLDR: Nice but not a must-have. If you don't have a good generalized attacker for things like Hundred Evils, you may want to invest.

I'd put this under a cut but you know what, I won't! I wrote all this, y'all are gonna have to read it or scroll by it cause fuck you

Uwasa Mikoto is a better version of Regular Mikoto.

Uwasa Mikoto is a Support/MP Support/Tank Support, just like Regular Mikoto, but now Uwasa Mikoto can actually deal out damage.

She gives the whole team Strengthened Counter which can hilariously kill enemies when they attack you. It's better (in some ways) than regular Mikoto, whose attack did fuck all when she would counter back.

Uwasa Mikoto can gain MP much more easily than Regular Mikoto through her SE which gives MP Gain Up and MP Up When Damaged, something that Regular Mikoto really ought to have had.

She also comes with a passive 40% MP Gauge on Start, and you can combine that with her shitty personal that gives 15% MP Gauge on Start (and Accele MP Gain Up). This makes it easy for her to hit Magia/Doppel on turn two just by taking a few hits from the enemy, something she can handle easily with her good stats.

VARIABLE makes her very interesting. She'll have it on herself for three turns and then can get it back for more turns on Doppel. Couple that with the Doppel's MP Restore and her penchant for gaining MP when getting hit, and you have a very tanky support who can whip out some damage fairly consistently.

She's more selfish a unit in some ways than Regular Mikoto. For example, she no longer gives the team 5 MP Regen for three turns and she no longer will give the following on Doppel: Reflect Debuffs/MP Up When Damaged/Strengthened Counter to the team either. Instead she gives herself Damage Increase, Reflect Debuffs, Variable, and MP Restore.

She DOES give MP Restore on Connect, which is always nice.

I was testing out Uwasa Mikoto and comparing her to Regular Mikoto for a while today. Both of my units only have two slots, which is kind of a problem for someone you want to tank, but I found that Uwasa Mikoto was still decent without her last two slots. I started off with a really silly but fun team comp for mirrors:

This actually proved pretty enlightening in some areas. For example, you obviously don't want to field two Mikotos, but also all these supports start to run into and interfere with each other-- not enough to keep me from winning, but enough that these girls who want to take hits just weren't getting them. But first off, some things I noticed, especially regarding both Mikotos:

First off, like mentioned above, all these girls but especially both Mikotos want to take hits and will end up stealing hits from each other. This is especially bad when Uwasa Mikoto has mp gain up when damaged and Regular Mikoto has Guardian, which kinda interferes with that.

Secondly, for Darkness Mitama at least, the whole Reflect Debuffs thing doesn't work when the enemy team is Skill Sealed, so it felt sort of like a waste.

After that, there was an unexpected issue that really should have been expected by me. Both Mikotos come with barrier-- Mikoto with a higher barrier for herself, and Uwasa Mikoto a smaller barrier for the whole team. Barrier will always choose the highest source, so it feels sort of like a waste to use both at the same time, especially since regular Mikoto will have Guardian and should take most of the hits.

This made me realize a small issue that Uwasa Mikoto will have on more established accounts (that prioritize good units)

All three of these gals can give the team barrier. Infinite Iroha will give 5k + 3% Regen HP on her SE Active, MadoIro will give it on Magia/Doppel (for 5k and 8k respectively), and Uwasa Mikoto will give it on her SE Active (5k + Str. Counter for 3 turns) and on her Magia/Doppel (8k and 10k respectively).

This isn't a bad thing and you can sort of play around it? But it does present a problem-- Barrier won't stack, so using all their doppels on the same turn feels like a bad idea, especially on punishing fights. But sometimes you really want to use all the doppels on the same turn, and you'll feel punished for that.

This isn't the worst thing in the world by any means, it just shows that Uwasa Mikoto has a lot of overlap with other units.

Additionally, as much as she can be compared to Regular Mikoto, I think you can also compare her to a lot of the recent fast mp magia units released. She'll gain mp quickly and can be firing off Magia/Doppels pretty easily, especially when she tanks like you want her to. That said, she does have a flaw-- she can't heal herself. The barrier is supposed to help with that (and her good stats), but eventually you'll want to use a healer... and some of the best healer choices come with-- you know-- barrier.

Then again, I suppose she'd pair well with units like Scene zero Madoka or... Kako if you're lacking in good heals.

Really, if I had to compare her to someone... Yeah Regular Mikoto comes up, but so does Uwasa Sana? Both are self sufficient Balance types with a lot of defense and potential attack power. Like don't get me wrong, this is NOT the best comparison, but both feel like "brawler" types-- they can stand on their own and take a lot of enemies down with them.

I also felt like her Strengthened Counter was far more useful here. I outright saw her kill a tank after getting hit twice, which was hilarious and also made sense-- According to the Fandom Wiki, Strengthened Counter "has a base power of 120%", which makes her counter-attack pretty weighty. Is this a good thing? The benefit of Regular Mikoto is that she's not dealing a lot of damage, which is strictly good for stuff like the old version of Ranked Mirrors, meaning that you can prolong fights. However, Uwasa Mikoto should be more helpful for regular PVE at least.

I actually think that she might be a decent choice for things like Hundred Evils, if you don't have a good attacker already. The variable gives her a good way to deal lots of damage right away, she can easily earn MP, and her ability to reflect Debuffs should prove hilarious.

She's not as much a team player imo than regular Mikoto, and I kind of wish that her kit was either more selfish, or more supportive. For example, it's great that she gives the whole team Strengthened Counter now, but since you actually want to use her discs, it feels less useful.

Oh I should have done this earlier, but this is how Uwasa Mikoto stacks up when compared to other units, and this is considering a team with full SE and AE:

Higher than Kimochi Rabi (which shocked me), but under Konoha. Fairly middle ground-- but again, factor in her Variable and you can see how she starts to become a real decent fighter.

Basically, I think she's a decent brawler-type character who is a much more damaging version of her original version. She still functions well as a Tank and really wants to take hits, but her support is more limited than her OG version. Strengthened Counter can outright kill people which is HILARIOUS to watch.

The only other thing I'll say is that if you're getting her to use her, you want ideally 3-4 slots. My two-slot version is fine, but she's getting heavy carries from the rest of the team. Tanks in general suffer from needing as many slots as possible to equip both passives and actives, giving them as many beefy stats as they can.

Lastly, you want to equip her with Damage Cut, especially in mirrors, so she doesn't prevent enemies from attacking her.

[velvetvexations]

I once had a partner who confessed to having repeated fantasies of “a big strong bolshevik red army soldier just really fucks me good” and really wanted me to like buy a uniform and everything and do Soviet sex rp. and I was like so confused bc A) she is a lesbian B) I am a woman C) she isn’t a tankie (or even a communist iirc) nor into history in any way that would make this make sense D) she, before this, had been pretty much exclusively a top

Anyways we broke up in 2018 because she decided her soul belonged in Maine and I wasn’t moving to the literal other side of the country on a whim.

Sorry seeing the talk about tankies reminded me of this SUPER tangentially. I don’t know. It’s 8 am confess-to-velvet hour

somewhere in Maine that girl is living the Surfin U.S.S.R dream