#I know ppl probably saw my laziness on the one I did days ago

[jgrills]

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[unclewaynemunson]

hi i just found your blog and i’m in love with ur writing<3 imma stalk it, if that’s ok!! also, saw ppl can send writing ideas (u don’t have to do this it’s just something i like reading lol) and i see lots of angsty fics where steve is the one that fucks up and has to apologize but I also think eddie could fuck up too - so if you could right something angsty (with a happy ending obv lol i’m not made of stone) where eddie fucks up and has to figure out how to apologize to steve :) but like i said no pressure if it’s not something you want to do <333

keep up with your writing, it’s beautiful <33

Ohmygod this is such a lovely message, thank you so much <333 Seriously this really means sooo much! I hope you're having a good day, lots of love!

And YESSS i love this prompt! I started writing something and it completely got away from me so now it's getting waaayyy longer than i planned it to be, whoops. I'll give you the first part already and I hope to have the second (longer) part ready soon.

(also, i wrote this post a while ago which also has angst and eddie being kind of a dick so you might like that one, too)

XXXXX

'Do you know what day it is tomorrow?'

They're on Eddie's bed together, the two of them, not doing much – or rather, Steve's not doing much. Eddie, however, is tirelessly scribbling down ideas in his notepad to prepare for the next Hellfire meeting.

He looks up from his notes to look at Steve in disbelief, wondering if he's for real with that question.

'Friday,' he answers in the most scathing tone he can muster.

'C'mon Eddie, don't be a dick,' says Steve, but a small smile is playing around his lips. 'Can I take you out tomorrow night?'

'I have band practice on Fridays. You know that.'

'Yeah, but I talked to the guys. They're okay with skipping it one time.'

'Dude, I'm not gonna miss my band practice for fucking Valentine's Day.'

Steve frowns. 'You don't have to say it like it's a gross word, you know.'

'But it is a gross word, Stevie!' Eddie exclaims dramatically. 'Come on, you know just as well as I do that it's not for people like us.'

'Seriously?'

Eddie doesn't understand why Steve is acting so surprised. Honestly, what did he expect from dating a non-conformist queer metalhead, exactly?

'It's not even about romance, man! It's a conspiracy of the big corporations so they can capitalize off their ridiculous made-up heterosexual ideas of what relationships should be like. Nothing romantic about it, it's all bullshit.'

Something shifts in Steve's gaze. 'It's all bullshit?' he repeats, eyebrows arched into a frown.

There's something in his tone and in his pose, his arms crossed in front of his chest, like he's challenging Eddie, that makes Eddie feel like he can only double down on this now.

'Yeah. Complete bullshit.'

'Okay.' Steve nods, opens his mouth, then closes it again – seems to swallow his own words, before he continues: 'Okay, good to know. I won't keep you away from your band practice, then. Um, you know what, I should be heading home now.'

'I thought you were staying here for the night?'

'No, I changed my mind.' Steve doesn't look him quite in his eyes. 'I think I just wanna be alone. Get a good night's sleep.'

Eddie squints at Steve as he gets up from his lazy position on the bed to grab his shoes.

'Are you angry?'

'No, I'm just – you're probably right, I don't know why I even thought – never mind.'

But Eddie can't see Steve's face as he's ducked down to tie his shoelaces, and his voice sounds oddly strained. Steve leaves Eddie's room without so much as a kiss on Eddie's cheek and only stops in the living room to say goodbye to Wayne before he heads out into the cold evening.

'You and Steve okay?' Wayne asks after the sound of Steve's car has faded away. Eddie is still standing in the middle of the living room, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

'I... don't know,' he answers his uncle's question. 'He was being all weird about fucking Valentine's Day, can you believe that?' He lets himself fall onto the couch. 'What about this –' he makes a vague gesture at both himself and the room around them – 'could have ever given him the idea that I'd care about Valentine's Day?' It's impossible for him to keep the disgust out of his voice.

Wayne sighs. 'And did it ever occur to you that maybe he cares 'bout Valentine's Day?'

Eddie scoffs. 'Of course he doesn't care about Valentine's Day, he's –' Shit. The horrifying realization dawns over him and it makes so much sense that he wonders how he didn't see it right away. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Steve Harrington cares about Valentine's Day. And he probably planned some big romantic surprise date for Eddie and all Eddie said was that it was bullshit.

He groans and lets himself fall further into the worn-out couch cushions.

'That's what I thought,' Wayne comments dryly.

'Shit! Shit, shit, shit, I fucked up so bad, Wayne! How could I have known?! He's a fucking badass, I didn't think – Ah, damnit, I'm such an idiot!'

'Badass or not, if you didn't wanna be with some hopeless romantic, you been lookin' in the wrong place, boy,' Wayne says.

Eddie lifts his head up to take a look at the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. It's almost eleven thirty. That leaves him with about eight hours until Steve wakes up on his own in that big empty house, on Valentine's Day, ready to start his day feeling completely miserable. It's time to switch into all-nighter mode.

XXXXX

(Update: read pt2 here)

[ellellen]

‼️TW: bad english‼️Wait.. Wait, wait. Just before we start, yall need to get to know the charachters, and some past before all that chaos.. right? lets start. (there all r 15-16, execept ppl who have siblings) James, evryone think the apocalyptic started bc of him. hm, you will find out. or you wont? anyways he is in a group with 2 other ppl (basically an group of three) and he is an litlear jerk. He always bullies ppl and stuff. Anways next is Noah, He is in a group with James. He is rlly dumb. Not to be mean or smth but he cant even think staigh. He'll be walking norrmally looking staight and he will bump into smth. Anways he is too dumb to even bully, he ends up making fun of himself. And the last one in the group (main 3) Loga (short for logan) He is probably the most normal one. he dosent speak too much tho. He is just there to be there.. yk? anways they (main 3) used to bully allot of ppl (yall will meet them on the way) and they used to know alot of ppl. Ill just mention some. Ethan, he used to be rlly sweet and carring. Thats why he was made fun of in the first place. one day he just dissapired. Is he still the same? I guess well find out. Next is Mike. He is rlly mean and kinda of jerk. Anwyas he used to be made fun of too. But ppl kinda fogot aboth him. Him and Ethan used to hang out like alot. Anways lets meet some of the girls then get onto present. Luna, She is pretty smart and intelligent. She is pretty too. Alice, She can be smart if she wants too. She only cares ab her beauty tho. But i can say. She is stunning tho. Next is Scarlett, she is pretty smart, not only in school but when ot comes tho thinking. She is rlly strong too, and emo. Probably talest one. ???? ohh, well she is ?????? nothing much ab her. Anways "presents"



Noah: Uhh guys? I think there's something like rlly weird outta here. Somone is green. he is falling apart. im so confused..

James: NOAH GODAMMIT. ARE YOU HIGH RN? YOU INTURUPTED OUR FINALE GAME.

Noah: Um no..? Go look, he look goofy ngl.

James: Loga, go look.

Logan: bro why me.

James: bc. now go look.

Noah. Also, i think the school is burning. i saw fire.

Jame: WHAT. BRO. GUYS RUN OUTSIDE

Noah: Guysss. I kinda forgot to tell yall but the teacher told us 3 hour's ago to get outta of school..

James: NOAH. how in the fuck could you forget that.

Noah: sorry, dont blame me that the tacher is lazy to tell yall.

Logan: Guys please. dont start fighting, we can all co- OH LORD YALL RUN.

James: WHAT WAS THAT.

Logan: ZOMBIES YOU DUBASS. ZOMBIIES.

Noah: WHAT. OH LORD. IM GONNA FAINT.. O LORD.

James: stop being dramatic. We need to find other ppl..

Logan: yea. James is right, we would be stronger. but at the same time th-

James: og stfu. Lets just find other ppl

Logan: Okay.. whatever you say.

Noah: guys, maybe we shall order food?

James: Noah you fucking idiot, we cant order food, who do you expect to bring us food? A fucking fly?

Noah: damn chill out i was just asking..

Logan: I mean we can just go to store and get food, we just need to be fast.

Noah: Guys, what will happend to Allen?

James: Who in the- Ah who is Allen

Logan: Its his sister, how do you forget, god yall r stupid.

James: shut up, you are always here to say smth

Loagn: anywas we can just go get her

Noah: yall somone is behind yall

James: dude. RUN.

*after like 20 mins*

Noah: Guys im outta breath. Wait..

James: YALL ITS FAST ASF. RUN.

Noah: Wait i cant.

*while with girls*

Luna: Girls, we really need to find an place to stay at.

Scarlett: We can stay at my place.

Alice: Okay ig if we need to. i just dont want to get my new dress dirty. It costed like alot "sobs"

Luna: yea.. whatever you say.

*at Scarlett's house*

Alice: ig its fine as long as my stuff dosent get dirty.

Scarlett: Og gosh. Alice i swear to god stop complaning.

Alice: Shut up, you stink.

Scarlett: What did you just say to me.

Alice: that you stink.

Scarlett: you will stink once i throe you outta this window to the zombies.

Alice: id like to see you try.

Scarlett: Oh yeah? Well-

Luna: guys just stop it. We have bigger problems to deal with.

Alice: yeah. okay. anyways, where is Lisa?

Luna: damn. i forgot ab her. ill call her to see if she is okay. "Calling Lisa"

Lisa: Gu..s.. H...Wh..d-d..i ya..l call me?

Luna: Hi Lisa, can you come over? btw i cant hear you very well. the connection is rlly poor.

Lisa:.....Come..fiv..e.mi.. "hangs up the phone"

Luna: I think she will come.

Alice: okay great!

Scarlett: We can clearly see who you like and dislike..

Alice: Yea, im happy that you noticed!

Luna: Huh. who could that be.

Scarlett: ill go get it

Alice: Ill come With

Luna: Same

Scarlett: Okay

????: Um. Hii, hope i can stay over for a while

all: oh. my. god.

[golbrocklovely]

the nine books i read this year (part one)

while this isn't technically related to sam and colby, i figured i would tell you guys about the books i read this past year. originally i was trying to read at least one book a month, but that didn't work out in the end. but i did get to nine and that was like seven or eight more than i read last year, so i'll take it.

i'm gonna try not to give any spoilers for any of these books. just my general thoughts and overall how many stars i would give them. but if i do plan to talk about spoilers, i'll give you a fair warning.

so without further ado…

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson

this book was SO fucking good. i bought it bc i saw it in target and thought it looked interesting. then i literally read it all in one night because i could not put it down. if you like murder mysteries/crime solving novels, you will like this book.

super easy to read, and it made me immediately want to watch veronica mars again. it definitely gave me that vibe when i was reading it too, so if you like that show, you'll like this.

i know there is a sequel and then a threquel and then i think a prequel???, but i haven't read any of those yet. i did go out the next day and grab the sequel tho. i just never got around to reading it. but i plan to do that this year.

probably one of my favorite books i read this year.

Rating: 5/5

Belle Morte by Bella Higgins

yall know me, i love me a good vampire book. and i think this one got recommended to me on tiktok, or i might have saw it in target and thought to buy it. the cover of this book is fantastic, and i think that along with the general premise drew me in.

that being said, this book was… fine, at best. at worst? kinda lazy.

i think the overall idea of it is interesting. vampires being known to humans but living in almost fraternity like houses, and they themselves being celebs now, humans being donors to them - all of that sounded cool to me. this book kinda hits all of the vampire shows/movies in one: a bit of true blood mixed with twilight and vampire diaries and even bits of dracula. and i'm usually here for that type of stuff.

but… this story was just not hitting the way i wanted it too.

it read like a wattpad fanfic, and then come to find out it was publish by wattpad. and look i'm happy that bella higgins got her story published, that's great. but i just think parts of this story could have been so much better. like while i was reading it, all i could imagine was "if i was writing something like this, i would do this instead of that". that's not to say i think my writing is superior or anything, i just felt like a lot of the choices in the story maybe could have used another person in the room to either flesh them out or give her another avenue to go down.

there's a sequel to this book, but i will not be reading it.

also ngl, i completely forgot what this book was about until i had to write this review and the only way i remembered what this was about was reading ppl's spoliers on goodreads so… do with that as you will.

Rating: 3/5

The DUFF by Kody Keplinger

this was a surprise read for me. i remember hearing about this book years ago back in hs, but never read it bc i really didn't want to read a book about being a DUFF (designated ugly fat friend) which is what i kinda saw myself as back then.

there's a lot to unpack there.

but, i've loved the movie version of this book and ended up watching it like three times in one week and was like "let me see if i can find this book online". i did, and then i read it all in one night. and you know what? it was weirdly refreshing to read.

first off, nothing like the movie for the most part which was both intriguing and not. secondly, the author wrote this when she was 17, and it was loosely based off of her time in hs. and honestly, it read like a high schooler speaking about being in hs. and i don't mean that as a diss. i mean that as it was nice to hear a 17 year old talk like a 17 year old and not a 26+ year old trying to write like high schoolers.

you'll hear more about that in the next review.

this book also reminded me of hs, but not in the "oh gross i hated that time" kind of way, but in a more nostalgic sort of way. it was no where near how my hs experience went, but i still enjoyed my time reading it. it was written incredibly well for a 17 year old author.

also one fabulous line that stuck out to me so much so that i wrote it down: For a girl with a such a fat ass, I felt pretty invisible.

same here girlie lmao

Rating: 4.5/5

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

another surprise read !

so, this year i bought a hulu subscription. one of the first movies that popped up for me was "the hating game". i watched it, and then immediately watched it about four more times in the span of couple days.

safe to say it, i like the movie.

found out it was based off of a book and decided i had to read it. the movie and book, in my opinion, are similar enough that if you don't want to sit through reading the entire thing, you could just watch the movie and get the same general gist. also i kinda think the movie is better.

i realized after reading this book that ppl either LOVE it or they despise it. which is very weird to me only bc the story itself is fine. the language used either by the characters/author is a bit… questionable at times, but that doesn't sour the whole book for me, if that makes any sense.

minus one instance which i will tell you about in a bit.

i think the movie made the two mc very likeable and cute (but with their own problems) but this book kinda made them more…. realistic (so, less likeable lol). but i don't mean that in a rude way, just more of like "i've definitely met ppl like this, and while i didn't hate them, i didn't love them either".

slight tangent i want to go off on: i will NEVER understand how ppl that read romance novels get so up in arms about "toxic" relationships or men in these stories and then rate the book super low bc "this relationship is terrible! you should never strive to have a man like this in your life! this is all RED FLAGS" ect, ect. and it's like…….. yeah babe, i know that. IT'S A FANTASY. this isn't real life. i'm not looking for a dude like joshua templeman. calm the fuck down and stop sucking the fun out of everything you read bc it's not totally toxicity free.

it's the same reason i get so fucking annoyed when ppl point out in twilight "omg he's 109 year old dating a 17 year old girl he's disgusting!!" ………HE'S A VAMPIRE WHO IS PERMANENTLY 17. THIS ISN'T REAL LIFE.

anyway…

i will say tho, there were some annoying parts to this story. like the amount of times the main woman character talked about how small she is compared to the guy just got a bit redundant after a while. like it's not like she's 4'11 or something. she's like my height or close to mine, somewhere between 5'0 to 5'2. and he's like maybe 6'4 MAX. so while he's definitely taller, he's not a fucking giant. that was like the only thing that stuck out to me the most while reading, bc i swear it's like every couple pages she's saying "omg i'm so smol and he's so big".

so i have to bring up the one instance of this book that i THROUGHLY did not enjoy. i had planned to rate this book a very soft 4/5. i enjoyed my time reading it, i thought the romance itself was cute for the most part, the love-to-hate/enemies-to-lovers was written decently well, a little bit too mean at times maybe, but overall i liked the book for what it was. but then…. i got to the end of the book. or the last couple pages. i won't give too much away in case you want to read it. but let me lay out the scene for you.

josh and lucy, the main characters, are in a room together. they might have just finished having sex????? i think, either way they're in bed with one another i believe. they're talking sort of romantically with one another. josh is speaking. he's telling her all of this stuff…. and then all of sudden he just casually says the r-word/r-slur. mind you, this man has barely uttered a curse word in this story, let alone a slur. and this man is intellegent, maybe a bit of a narotic dick sometimes, but not someone that would casually say that word, ESPECIALLY in the middle of borderline confessing his love for this girl he's been pining for.

so i had to knock this book down a whole ass number bc i was that upset that he said it. it felt like a word that the author uses, but not the characters, if you catch my drift. like it didn't feel like part of the lexicon josh would use, at least to me.

also earlier in the book, lucy uses the g-slur, in case you needed to know about that too. i know some ppl don't know that that word is a slur for romania ppl, so i try to give the benefit of the doubt with that, but just thought i would mention it.

Rating: 3.5/5

okay… didn't realize how long this was gonna be, so i'm gonna break this up into two parts. you can read the rest of my review on the books i've read this past year here.

[charmspoint]

Author Interview

Saw this on @prince-liest and did it cuz i needed a pick me up today, they said to tag them so there ya go I hope it’s interesting <3

Fandoms: Very much mostly BNHA, though I’m getting back in Bungou Stray Dogs and already have fics I wanna write there too. Other fandoms I dabbled in: Promised Neverland, Promare n Forest of Drizzling rain

Where I post: on AO3 at CharmPoint! ….don’t be…don’t be fooled by my tumblr name I’m just sacrificing a brand for a bad joke

Most popular one shot: The crown goes to Far too young, I think this one was just in the right time and place while Promised Neverland high was at it’s peak. It’s the only one shot I have that broke 100 kudos so I’m p proud of it.

Most popular multichapter fic: ….it’s…it’s Ignite me, god I wish it wasn’t but it is. I’m not gonna link it cuz I honestly don’t want ppl to read more of it. Like there’s nothing especially bad about it….aside from the writing. The writing is just down right awful, I wrote this two years ago with a coauthor (hi Tati) and it went on a hiatus and then I went to reread it to remind myself how to continue and aaaaa I couldn’t get through chapter 3 it was SO BAD. The reason is that we adapted it from a rp and…we did so pretty badly. I really don’t like it but I don’t wanna delete it cuz 1. It’s not only mine 2. A lot of people seemed to really really like it…somehow, they are so strong. My ultimate mission is to one day rewrite this fic and make a good Ignite me, one day…

Favorite story written so far: That would definitely be Call of the Wild (at least of ones posted rn, Red String of Death just might overtake it). I think this was the first time I reread one of my own fics and felt genuine pride. Like complete unabashed pride. I kept going :0 I did that, her mind!! Especially the first chapter, which is one I use for all my zine apps lmao. I think I got the atmosphere just right, I think I got the foreshadowing just right, I really like what I did with silence vs dialog through the story. I’m just so proud of it. I’ll probably never write anything for Kiribaku again but if I gave them one fic, I’m glad it was Call of the Wild.

Fic I was nervous to post: That would be The suffocating quality of your dying breaths (And the effect they had on me). I really liked this fic, I really vibed with it and I had a lot of fun writing it but I was afraid that what I was trying to say wouldn’t come across right. It’s a fic about suicidal tendencies not from the perspective of the person having them but the person closest to their side…that kinda hates their guts. I’m not sure how well I managed to get it across the 3 chapters it has, but it’s supposed to be about realizing your boundaries and that sometimes you just aren’t a person for the job and that sometimes you really shouldn’t torture yourself over what you can’t do and just do what you can instead. Some things require professional help and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to offer that kind of help. I was just afraid that ‘you have limits to what you can do to help’ would be misinterpreted as ‘so you think you should just not help suicidal people huh??’ I received a positive reception for it so if nothing else it went over well with some people!

Do you outline?: I just learned to properly outline this year ;;; I used to just go with the flow and that…ended up pretty bad. But now I found an outlining style that suits me and it helped a lot to make my writing better!!

Complete: 15! Most of them oneshots and staggering 9 from this year alone. I had a very bad creative drought for such a long time but now I’m back n yall there’s no stopping me

In progress: If we go by what’s not posted yet rn I’m working on 7 fics in various stages of done. I also have two more fics in WIP folder but they are waiting till I have time n motivation to write them. Also my notes are overflowing with future story ideas hbjbhj there’s a LOT.

Coming soon: Drumroll, three big bang fics (DabiHawks, ShinKami n TodoBaku) , one secret santa fic (it’s a surprise ;3c) and eventually three zine fics (>;3c) . Ya girl is head deep in events rn jjknjk HELP (jk I actually have them all under control believe it or not). These events played a large part in getting my motivation ball rolling again so I’m pumped to be a part of them, though also looking forward to more none event works after this.

Do I accept prompts?: Sure, if I’m vibing with the idea n have the free time (which I don’t ever;;;)

Upcoming works I’m most excited for: Red String of Death, my upcoming DabiHawks big bang fic! Honestly I’ve had a wild ride with this one, a real roller-coaster. I was really excited by the idea, then I was afraid it was boring actually, then I got a great beta who encouraged me a lot and provided a lot of valuable feedback and now im PUMPED again, I think it’s p good if I do say so myself and I’m super excited to see how people feel about it. It’s not the happiest story I’d say, it follows in the footsteps of Call of the Wild by having a sorta bittersweet ending and in being like a fic that’s about a commonly used sort of magic trope (werewolves vs reincarnation n soulmates) being given a little twist that makes it oh so painful. Anyway if it’s spiritual successor to Call of the Wild then you know my hype is real, I just hope others like it as much!

Tagging: Uhhh do it if you want to its late and im lazy to tag!!!

[szopenhauer]

Have you ever had surgery?    nope

Have you ever donated blood?   can’t

Have you ever been in handcuffs?   no not yet

How many dogs do you have?    just one

Who do you want to meet in heaven after Jesus/God/saints/virgin Mary?   my brother

Are you bipolar?    I have BPD

Who was the last person to pick you up in the air? my gf

If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do?   money as I wouldn’t risk fucking everything up even more at this point lol

Have you ever played naked twister?    I never played ANY twister

Who last grabbed your ass?   M. What’s an interesting fact about you that not many people know?  Tim Walker is my favorite fashion photographer - not that anyone’s interested in this fact

Do you do anything embarrassing when no one is home? sing

Are you in your pajamas at the moment? no longer

Have you ever spent the night in a tent? few

How important is it for a significant other to be good with kids? I don’t want to have kids so...

Have you ever had an ultrasound performed on you? What was it for? many times, several reasons

Have you ever written fan fiction for anything? nah

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside? whatever

When was the last time you saw the person you last kissed? days ago

Have you ever played laser tag? I’d like to

Do you have any twins in your family? yep

Have you ever kissed someone that had a tattoo? noooo

What was/is going to be the first song at your wedding? t.a.t.u. - all the things she said XD

What is the one thing that you need to do in order to die happy? sigh...

Do you consider yourself mainstream? I like SW but nothing else mainstream comes to my mind 

What is one moment you wish you could have taken a picture of? uh oh can’t decide

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? just listen unless “singing” in my mind counts too 

Have you ever been hospitalized?    couple of times

Have you ever had a moment with someone you like that seemed like a movie moment?    lmfao 

What do you think your life will be like at your parents’ age?    I won’t live that long

Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school?   middle school and I liked it

Do you like writing? How often do you write?    I rarely write even tho I like to, I have no motivation and can’t focus, I want everything to be perfect so I overthink a lot and procrastinate my progress

Do you think its obnoxious when people drive down the street with their stereos all the way up blasting the kind of music you loathe?  listening to music loud in a car is dangerous, no matter if I like the music or not but when it’s additionally offensive? ugh...

Title of the last song you listened to on repeat? Animals - Maroon 5

What are you listening to now? look above

Have you ever had oral sex?   ewww, no thx

Christmas is coming. who are you buying gifts for?    parents, partner, sister and niece

if you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes?  hair

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower?    hair

Have you ever thought your cousin was hot?

Have you gotten a hickey before? don’t, it can kill you - srsly, I probably should stop biting others :(

Have you ever had a dream that you married someone? dream about a wedding? hmm... I don’t recall that happening

What were the last two things you purchased for yourself?   fingerless gloves - two pairs - grey and black because I bought mustard before and came back for more 

Is your tongue pierced?    hell no

What do you remember from sex ed class when you were younger? they told us tampons will make us lose virginity and we should breed constantly to not get cancer ^^” but besides that we had boobs to squeeze and I didn’t touch that shit

Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting?    cute

Do you like green apples?    blergh, green are the worst

Would you have sex before marriage/engagement?  oh well...

Have you ever 69′ed? no way, sorry

Would you rather be a boy or girl?    being a boy would probably be easier 

The last time you were upset, who was to blame?   no comment

If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason?   ... what’s there to like ha ha ha

What’s your favorite fantasy creature?   griffins but I prefer those which have 4 paws instead of bird legs in the front

Have you ever witnessed a birth in person?    luckily not, that would be traumatic

Are you using your real name on Facebook? for now I am

Would you be fired if your boss saw your Facebook page? hope it won’t be a problem when I get a job someday

Would you ever be willing to take a lie detector test? I’m scared my borderline personality disorder or smth will fuck it up so better not, it’s fun/interesting though, especially if you try to check if it will catch your own lie to know if you’re good at this :D

How old is the oldest person you’ve had sexual relations with? my age

Has a partner ever accused you of cheating, when you actually didn’t?

I dated somebody who was accusing me of cheating all the damn time, I couldn’t use the toilet, which is even funnier when you know I’m an asexual pfft

If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long?   I have no patience for this, too lazy for that, long hair is uncomfy

How many people have you turned down when they asked you out?   believe it or not but pretty big as for me group of ppl asked me

Do you like snakes?    they’re cool

How would you feel about traveling abroad alone?    anxious af

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room?    I would be confused myself :o

[horansqueen]

BabyGirl 12.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts okay more like 15 parts? lol ♥ 3.4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ still sort of fluffy lmao i hope it’s not too bad? Half the next chapter will be about their couple too. gotta mend things dont you think? Only 3 chapters left of this omg it went by so fast i swear! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1  // PART 2 // PART 3  // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7 // PART 8 // PART 9 // PART 10 // PART 11

                         12.0 UNEXPECTED KISSES & LOVE SONGS

HIM

When my cellphone rang on the next morning, I groaned, mad at myself for not turning the sound off. I searched for it on my bedside table without much success and finally opened my eyes even if it was the thing I wanted the least in the world at that moment. I sighed and found my pants on the floor, searching for my pockets and grabbing my phone before answering it with an other sigh.

"Morning mate!"

Louis' cheerful voice made me frown and groan low in the phone and my nose raised up. I didn't know what time it was but the sun was peeking through the curtains hanging over my window. I sighed again and licked my lips.

"What do you want, Tommo?"

He laughed, probably hearing the annoyance in my voice, and I lied back down in bed, feeling my girlfriend move closer immediately and cuddling my side. It toned down my irritation quickly and I closed my eyes, feeling relaxed again.

"I tried calling your girl but she probably muted her phone." he explained. "She always does that, it's so annoying."

I could almost hear him frown in the phone and it made me smile as i kept my eyes closed. I didn't even budge when he called her 'my girl' and to be honest, even if we hadn't told Louis we were together now, I knew he could sense it. It was useless to hide it from him or pretend she was not laying right next to me.

"Just a sec." I let out with a low whimper, forcing my eyes to flutter open and turn to my girlfriend, half-asleep next to me. "Babe," I whispered. "Louis wants to talk to you."

With a moan of protest, she moved her arm up and I chuckled, placing the phone in her hand and waiting until her fingers gripped it to let it go. I brought my hand to her side and let my fingertips brush gently on her skin, making goosebumps appear. If I wanted to be honest, I would love to wake up next to her naked body every single morning for the rest of my life.

"Mm, hello?"

After a few seconds, her eyes opened slowly and she moved the phone to free her mouth, letting her lips run on my jaw and down my neck.

"Yes, Lou, that would still be very amazing of you." she let out before chuckling. "Maybe, yes. Okay, we'll be ready. Yea, at Niall's. Bye."

Without hanging up, she put the phone away on the bed and wrapped her now free arm around me as one of her legs moved over mine. Her dry lips pressed against mine and it made me smile. She hid her face in my neck and I enjoyed the feeling of her nose rubbing against my skin.

"Louis is picking up Chelsea in about an hour." she mumbled, making me frown. "I forgot, but he did tell me a few weeks ago that he wanted to spend a day with her and Freddie, probably ice skating, building snowmen and sledding at the park."

I was torn between being happy that I could spend a whole day relaxing with my girlfriend, and the fact that my best friend was going to spend the day with my daughter. I was trying to remember that Chelsea was my kid and that soon enough, she'll find out and that I'll be able to spend most of my days with her, but I couldn't help the jealousy spreading inside of me. Louis had the chance to be a part of my daughter's life since she was born and I didn't. No matter how juvenile it sounded, it was fucking unfair.

"We could have gone with them." I proposed in a whisper as she whimpered and pushed herself closer to me.

"Louis takes the kids once a month and I do the same. We trade, so we both have a day off."

I rolled my eyes with a grin and shook my head slightly, amused.

"Louis doesn't even have his son every day." I pointed out, now completely awake.

"I know." she agreed without an explanation. "We should use today to relax. Stay in bed naked, watch tv, listen to music, anything we can do from this bed."

I laughed and pushed her on her back, making her groan again, but it's only when I moved on top of her that her eyes opened. My lips curled into a smirk as she looked at me through her eyelashes, sending me a soft smile.

"Like, sex?" I let out with a laugh, pressing my whole body down on hers and making her laugh.

"Mmhm, like sex." she repeated, bringing her hands to my hair and slipping her fingers in it.

I bent closer, my lips pressing on the corner of hers, making sure we don't kiss too deeply because of morning breath, and I finally let my mouth travel down her neck. She whimpered and it did something to me, something I couldn't explain. Her fingertips brushed down my back until the small of it and it made me press myself against her harder.

"You're turning me on." she admitted, her hand finally reaching my ass and bringing a bigger smile on my lips. "You always do."

"I want you again." I just added, feeling myself getting more excited as her hands traveled on me. "Last night was amazing."

"It was g-"

We both jumped when we heard Chelsea from the hall, most likely running around. It sounded like a herd of elephants was speeding in our direction and it made my heart skip a beat at the thought of being caught.

"Fuck." I cursed in a whisper, getting off of my girlfriend and grabbing the sheets to spread them over us just in time to see the door open wide.

It almost knocked on the wall and we both watched Chelsea  dance quickly our way, letting her upper body fall in the side of the bed. As if it was nothing, my girlfriend sat up, her body still covered with the sheets I just shielded her with.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good! When is uncle Louis coming?"

My eyebrows raised up in surprise. It was a miracle she remembered since even her mother forgot about it but she just kept talking.

"Because I'm supposed to see Freddie today! Did he say what we were gonna do? Did he say what time he was gonna pick me up? Where are we going? Will aunt Eleanor be there?"

Her mother chuckled and shook her head, placing a lock of Chelsea's messy hair behind her ear before letting her fingers brush on her cheek.

"He'll be there soon enough." she just answered, ignoring the other questions asked. "Why don't we prepare breakfast?"

Chelsea's smile fell and her facial expression turned into a guilty one. I was about to ask her about it but my girlfriend was quicker.

"Love, what did you do?"

It took a few seconds to get her answer. Her eyes kept moving from her mother to me and back to her mother until she let out a very short groan.

"You were sleeping and i was hungry and I saw cereals and I was very very hungry."

I held a laugh at the fact that she mentioned twice how hungry she was and licked my lips, clearing my throat.

"Did you make a mess, Chels?"

Her nose raised up and I immediately shut my eyes tight. I hated messes but I knew I had to get used to it somehow.  I didn't know everything it implied to have a kid but I knew it wouldn't be easy. That being said, when I opened my eyes again and met Chelsea's adorable puppy eyes, I felt my heart melt. I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Give us a few minutes sweetheart, will you?" I asked gently. "We'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Where you're gonna help us clean your mess, okay?"

I turned slightly to look at my girlfriend and my lips curled in a soft way. I loved the way she was raising our daughter. I loved how she treated her like the kid she was but was also not scared to give her responsibilities. I loved how sweet yet firm she was and how much love she gave at all times. This is what I wanted to be for Chelsea, a loving and understanding father who would give her good values and make her aware that she could be anyone and do anything. I just wanted her to know how special she was.

Chelsea grimaced but nodded and turned around to go back to the hall. My girlfriend got up quickly to close the door behind her and walked back to me. I stared at her naked form with a low moan and when she straddled me, my arms quickly wrapped around her waist.

"That's what you meant by 'getting caught' yesterday?" I asked with a chuckle. "That was close."

"Could have been worse." she pointed out with a smirk. "We could have been right in the middle of it."

She bent down again and kissed my jaw before getting off me slowly. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back close to me.

"We were about to do something remember?"

She laughed and grabbed my shirt that was laying on the floor before putting it on.

"Nooo, don't get dressed!" I added with a dash of despair in my voice.

She sent me a smile and I stared at her as she found her panties and put them back on too while I remained naked in bed.

"Put some clothes on." she just answered. "We'll prepare Chelsea for her day with Louis, okay? One hour tops, and then i'm all yours."

I groaned but she kissed my forehead and left the room. When she was out of sight, I sighed low and forced myself to get up and put a shirt and sweatpants on. I made a short stop to the bathroom and when I joined them in the kitchen, I noticed my girlfriend on all four, cleaning the milk-covered floor. I would normally wince at the mess but the sight was too good.

"That's exactly what I imagined except in the bedroom."

She looked up at me and her facial expression made me burst into laughter.

"Funny, Horan." she expressed, making me grimace at the nickname. "Could you go grab the bags from yesterday? We can use some of Chelsea's new clothes for today, since we don't have time to go back home for some clean ones."

I nodded quickly and turned around, walking to the living room to grab the bags as I heard the rest of their conversation.

"Yes! I want to wear that dress uncle Niall bought for me!"

Her enthusiasm made me chuckle and I shook my head slightly.

"Not a dress today, darling." my girlfriend argued. "It'll be better with warm pants, you'll probably spend all day outside."

"Really?"

This time, I laughed at how excited she seemed and I walked back with the bags, leaning against the door frame to look at the two persons I loved the most in the entire universe. Looking at them brought something intense inside me and I realized suddenly that it was happiness. I was happier than I had been in so long and for once in my life, it felt like everything was falling into place. It felt like everything was exactly how it was supposed to be.

HER

When the doorbell rang, I forgot I was still half naked and swung the door open. My eyes met Louis', who was carrying Freddie in his arms, and I held my breath when his eyes dropped down. I waited until he looked back up in my eyes with a smirk to take a step back.

"Hot damn, what is happening here?"

"Get in, Louis, it's cold outside." I let out, moving my head a few times.

"That's because you're almost naked, love." he joked, stepping in and closing the door behind him. "Where's my favorite princess?"

Chelsea suddenly appeared, followed by Niall who had already put her coat, scarf and beanie on. She rushed to put her boots on too and when Louis asked her if she was ready to go, she turned to me, and then put her attention back on Niall, taking a few steps inside and wrapping her arms around him. I held my breath, knowing I should say something about her walking inside with her dirty boots but Niall crouched down and hugged her without making any comment.

"I hope you have an amazing day, Chels." he just said, kissing her cheek lightly.

It took him by surprised when she pecked his lips and I smiled more as I hugged her tight. When the door finally closed behind them, I walked to the kitchen and came back with paper towels to wipe the wet spots on the floor.

"She's just really affectionate." I pointed out, bringing my hand to Niall's jaw when he turned to me, his hands in his pockets.

"No, it's okay, I just didn't expect it."

I chuckled and got on my tiptoe, kissing his lips softly.

"Did you expect that?" I asked with a smirk.

He laughed and his arms slithered around my waist, making me twirl slightly before making me walk backwards until his room. I let out a short scream, followed by a chuckle when he pushed me on the bed. I lied down on my back and he joined me, laying next to me, on his side, maintaining his head with his hand.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked in a low tone. "You pick."

I turned my head to look at him and licked my lips. I enjoyed the proximity of our bodies and that's what I wanted all day.

"I want to hear your album."

His smile fell slightly and his eyebrows raised up in surprise. I stayed motionless, waiting for what he was going to say, and I just hoped it wouldn't hurt him to find out that I hadn't listened to it yet.

"Okay, I mean, why not."

We stared at each other and I licked my lips as my heart throbbed all over my body. I had wanted to listen to it a million times, at least, but every time, I ended up thinking that it would probably make me cry and bring a bunch of questions inside my head... questions i'd never get answers for.

He extended his arm to reach for his phone on the bed, exactly where I left it, and I stared at he opened spotify. I tried to take a glimpse at his playlist but he quickly clicked on the 'search' button before chuckling as he typed his own name. I held my breath when I saw his face on the cover of the album like I had done every single time I had seen it. His eyes were so blue it made my heart jump in my chest.

He pushed on the random option and I heard music come out of the speakers of the tv. I tried to listen to all the lyrics and I closed my eyes, holding my hands on my stomach. After the first song was over, I felt his fingers slip on one of my hands and opened my eyes, turning my face to look at him again. I swallowed as my whole body was on fire.

"I'm sorry. I just need to ask you." I let out in a whisper before inhaling deeply and frowning slightly. "Is one of the songs... about me?"

I felt extremely stupid and conceited for asking but I had to know. I was aware that Niall had had other girlfriends, other love stories, other heartbreaks, but a part of me knew that if I had listened to his album before seeing him again, I would have wondered if he had ever written about me. I felt so ridiculous I almost expected him to laugh at me but he didn't. He simply grabbed his phone again and clicked on a specific song. The music started and my heart jumped again, bringing inside me a nauseous sensation but I realized it was just a mix of stress and fear.

I wanted to close my eyes to really feel everything but instead, I kept my gaze dived into his as we stared at each other. I focused on the lyrics and felt myself tear up at some of the words.

'Why's it only you i'm thinking of?'

'And tell me there are things that you regret, 'cuz if i'm being honest I ain't over you yet'

'I forget you're not here when I close my eyes, do you still think of me sometimes?'

I felt myself tear up because I remembered going through these exact emotions and it took me so long to stop crying at night, to stop feeling lonely, to stop feeling empty. It took me so long to be myself again, and somehow I was not even sure I was completely myself again. At least, until now.

'Don't it feel fucked up we're not in love?'

Hearing these words brought a rush to my brain and quickly, I moved my hand behind his head to bring him closer to me. His lips crushed against mine but he quickly brought his hand on my waist, turning me his way and pulling me closer. I could feel all my emotions and thoughts mixing up inside me as he deepened the kiss. His hand slipped under my shirt and he pressed his warm palm on my back as I tugged at his hair softly. The song ended and our kiss broke at the exact same time. I stayed close, my lips still touching lightly his, but I opened my eyes and he did the same.

"It's a beautiful song." I admitted very low. "If it matters, I felt the same way. Breaking up with you fucked me up in ways I can't explain."

He backed away slightly and his eyes roamed quickly on my face. He looked amazing with his parted wet lips, his messy hair and his glossy eyes, and I suddenly felt extremely lucky to be there with him. Things could have turned out bad but I was laying down with him, a ring on my finger, and I just realized that the way he loves me is most likely as deep, real and strong as the way I love him.

"I wrote many songs about you."

His hand reached for my cheek and his fingertips brushed slowly on my skin. I wished I was in his head to find out exactly what he was thinking about but I just swallowed hard, scared I was going to cry again.

"And I will write many, many, many more songs about you." he added, a soft smile drawing itself on his lips. "And about Chelsea."

I smiled back at him and rubbed my nose gently against his.

"I can't wait to hear them."

He waited a few seconds and then brought up his phone again, hitting 'play' on the next song before bringing his attention back on me. Music filled the room again and I chuckled low.

"Is that a sex song?"

"Jesus christ, woman, don't you ever listen to the radio?"

I burst into laughter, throwing my head back slightly before shaking it.

"No! Only spotify!"

He laughed again and this time, he rolled on top of me. I spread my legs slightly to give him space and looked up at him, my eyebrows raised.

"What are you doing?" I asked innocently, sending him a smirk.

"I've always wanted to have sex on this song." he joked. "Besides, I started something I couldn't finish this morning."

"Having sex on your own song?" I laughed some more. "Does the sound of your own voice turn you on, Nee?"

He brought his face closer, pressing his smile against mine. and sliding his hand on my arm until he could intertwine my fingers with his.

"No, but you do."

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

tagged by @lucypcvensie uwu thanks for putting up with my weirdo self ily <3

How tall are you? 5′2 

What color and style is your hair? lots of people say my hair’s a light brown, but hair stylists say it’s a dark blonde so I’ll trust their judgement // my hair’s curly

What color are your eyes? blue (with these little flecks of gold right around the irises, you can only see them if you look real close)

Do you wear glasses? I have glasses, don’t necessarily wear them all the time

Do you wear braces? I used to, but I developed root resorption and had to get them off early (spring of 2017) so now none of my teeth toouch except for in the very back :( makes it really hard to eat samiches (yes that’s how I like to spell sandwiches fight me)

What’s your fashion sense? so I don’t count most days as my fashion sense bc I wear athleisure ish allllllll the time out of laziness, but when I do make an effort I have two ends of things bc I’m androgynous. so on a day when I’m feeling more masculine you’re gonna see me in a sporty-type-look (spandex, just barely sagging joggers, a graphic tee, my gold chain and jordans, I usually pull my hair into a ponytail and lay my edges), but on a day when I feel more feminine you’re gonna see me in some tried-and-true type of clothes (cute shirt, leggings, heels, jewelry, makeup did, hair down and [hopefully] acting right), but on a day when I’m feeling in-between I’ll try to experiment or be “edgy” (basically mixing and matching or trying something I saw a celebrity do and thought was cute). regardless of any style I’m in, though, you’re always gonna see me with my nails done, whether that means I got acrylics on or that I painted them myself... just know. that’s how we do. and by we I mean me.

Full name? I won’t share my last name, but Eden Amaris (fun fact: amaris can be pronounced two ways!) Is my first and middle

When were you born? December 18, 1999

Where are you from and where do you live now? was born in Federal Way, WA but I consider myself to be from Tacoma, WA as I’ve spent all of my most important years there (early childhood + hs + uni). I now live in Tacoma.

What school do you go to? University of Washington

What kind of student are you? a fucking mess I’m quiet at first, but once I’m comfortable I’m rly talkative and answer so many questions that my teachers will literally stop calling on me unless if there’s no one else lmaooo, I’ve also had several classmates and teachers tell me I should be a teacher and surprise, surprise, I do want to be a teacher for some time

Do you like school? f-f-f-FUCK YEA I LIKE SCHOOL how is that even a question??? to take it down a couple notches, yes, I love school, whether it’s for sports or for learning, I’m always excited to come to school everyday wow what a frickin nerd amirite, frickin loser

Favorite subject? depends on my professor. at this point, I highkey hate all of my classes rn bc I don’t feel like I’m learning anything. that miiight also have something to do with depression and anxiety though so idk what to tell ya man

Favorite tv shows? not a super TV person, but I’m a thot for Steven Universe

Favorite movie? I love tf out of movies, my all time would have to be Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (I just pretend that WftPotA didn’t happen atm bc I hate sm of what happened in it), but in the last few days I’ve watched War Horse (I cried like a bitch lemme tell ya), Secretariat (didn’t cry like a bitch but got teary-eyed) and 42 (I did cry at certain parts but it’s kinda uplifting so ya know, wasn’t super sad) and they were all lovely so if you haven’t seen them yet, go watch them! They’re all free on Netflix

Favorite book? When I was little it was this book called Junket (that thing is older than my grandparents, good lordte), I think some of my favorites rn tho are Heartless by Marissa Meyer and Tales from the Perilous Realm by J.R.R. Tolkien

Favorite past time? a couple months ago you would’ve thought it was crying from how much I did that, but tbh it’s probably drawing, writing, reading, watching movies, listening to music, sewing, spending time/going on adventures with my friends and helping my friends with their lives. I KNOW THAT’S EVERYTHING BUT I CAN’T HELP IT REEEE my most favorite past time atm is helping my friend Charlie clean and organize his room and designing things for his business, also spending time with my favorite little niecey-poo in the WHOLE WORLD OMGOODNESS HERE IS A PICTURE OF HER BEAUTIFUL SELF I LOVE HER SM SHE IS THE SWEETEST MOST CUTEST AND FUNNIEST AND SMARTEST WITTO GIRL EVER AND I LOVE HER <3

Do you have regrets? boy oh boy, do I: taking so long to forgive my abuser (thx for destroying my childhood @ my biological father), procrastinating, not having enough self-love/worth/confidence, being complacent with so many of the friends I used to have, focusing so much on socializing in hs rather than my sports and my schoolwork, being so afraid to just be myself bc I knew most people don’t want to be friends with a weirdo, the list goes on, all I can do now is move past it though so... ohwell.

Dream job? oh SIS get ready for this: sooo I want to own my own business, known as LEAD Revitalization (L for Love, E for Equity, A for Advocacy, D for Diplomacy - these are the core values of my business), which aims to help revitalize underdeveloped and underserved ethnic communities in the US and around the world and fight against gentrification through implementing art of all mediums in or near historic locations in that community that is representative of the demographic living there (so if the area is a primarily black neighborhood, you’re gonna see art depicting black history and culture, and if the area is primarily Asian you’d see Asian history and culture). I won’t get too into it just bc that would make this post way too long, but if anyone’s interested or wants to hear more you can bml ;) like literally bc I’m passionate af about it so I will talk your head off for days on end if given the chance

Would you ever like to be married? yes

Would you like kids? yes

How many? two or three of my own (I’m hoping for a girl and a boy) just so I can have the experience of having kids, but once they’re grown and out of the house I would like to adopt more if I have the resources to. my cousin’s adopted, so like, idk. I think that if you can adopt a kid, you should, bc there’s so many of them just stuck in the foster system and that’s complete bs

Do you like shopping? yes but I usually don’t like getting myself things (unless if we’re talking groceries or something I actually need), I love to buy things for other ppl tho if I can

What countries have you visited? canada for like 3 days technically, I just went to Mt. Whistler for spring snowboarding (that shit hurted) with my aunt bc she paid for the whole thing and my passport

Scariest nightmare you have ever had? TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE - I had a nightmare awhile ago that this guy I used to be involved with raped me, I also used to have recurring nightmares after I stopped going to my biological father’s house for visitation where he would come searching for me trying to kill me and my older brother (he’s tried to kill me 3+ times sooo... it makes sense). so like. fun.

Any enemies? S A T A N and myself, or.... my brain, I guess. idk.

Self-doubt? you betcha

Any significant other? kinda? I’m currently fwb with my ex and still have feelings for him (oopsies), we split bc he was going through shit and needed to figure himself out, I’ve been close to him for a phat minute so I’m not really trippin about it. I also have crushes on other people, but nothing’s presented itself as something worth pursuing yet so. yakno.

Do you believe in miracles? lmao I would fuckin hope so, the very fact that I’m alive rn is a gd miracle so yea

How are you? I am so-so. If we’re just talking about today, I’m prolly fine, but if we’re talking long term, I’ve been going through it. I’m just trying to figure myself out atm, and it’s rough, but I’ll probably get there. My friends think I will, at least.

i tag: @crookedly-rainy @secretpatrolpiespy hi I don’t have any other friends on Tumblr so I tagged my friends from Amino Y E E T

[chickenfetus]

all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these 

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse??  i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just  heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao  

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

[bentfire]

85 questions game

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @madi-starlight  thanks!! i’m procrastinating and this was a v nice distraction

i’m gonna tag @zoetekohana @zaatanna @puddingmcmuffin @mininjas @fireonallwires @distopianpixie + anyone else who wants to, sry i’m shit at tagging people in these things

the last

01. drink: water

02. phone call: to a local restaurant for food delivery bc i was too lazy to cook

03. text message: one of my friends is obsessed w/ lisa frank so i sent her the link to the lf tarot cards

04. song you listened to: "dinosaur” - akmu

05. time you cried: last week probably. my best friend and i currently aren’t talking and i’ve been taking it pretty hard lately.

06. dated someone twice: yup

07. kissed someone and regretted it: not really

08. been cheated on: yuuuuup

09. lost someone special: my childhood dog, balki. i’ve lost all my grandparents, but none of those hit me anywhere near as hard as my dog, honestly.

10. been depressed: i mean i go through phases where i’m sad? but i think to say i was depressed would be embellishing it.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: almost every time tbh. unless i’m home drinking alone, then i know when i’ve hit my limit. but if i’m out with friends i usually don’t realize i’m ~gone until like....... i’m way fuckin gone

3 favourite colours

12. turquoise!!

13. green

14. b l a c k

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: i don’t rly think so

16. fallen out of love: never been in love!

17. laughed until you cried: oh yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you: no! but i wouldn’t be surprised if my coworkers do lmao

19. met someone who changed you: nnnnnno

20. found out who your friends are: regrettably

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup!

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the vast majority of them? i don’t use fb anymore but i honestly don’t think i added anyone on there i hadn’t met. OH there’s a few tumblr friends on there, but i think only three maybe that i haven’t actually met.

23. do you have any pets: yep! a dog, khloe.

24. do you want to change your name: i used to?? i mean. i’m not in love with my name. heather is kinda ..... lame tbh. but i mostly go by nicknames so it doesn’t bother me too much

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything, actually. 

26. what time did you wake up: noon. ooops. but i didn’t fall asleep until almost 5am soooo

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably working out. that’s usually the time of night i finally force myself to lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: young justice!!!!! getting my hair/cut dyed in a couple days! i ordered new glasses and i’m excited for those to come in!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a year and a half ago

31. what are you listening to right now: the crickets chirp 

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i work in a retail pharmacy so yaaaaa probably on a daily basis, there’s a zillion ppl named tom/thomas

33. something that is getting on your nerves: blogs w/ impossible to find back buttons!! i’m trying to scroll through your blog like pls don’t make me work for it

34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, ulta

35. hair color: blonde

36. long or short hair: medium?? it’s a couple inches past my collarbone

37. do you have a crush on someone: vaaaaguely. there’s a dude i semi-work with and he’s just so gosh darn nice?? he’s coming back to work with us for a few days and its Glaringly Fucking Obvious to my coworkers i like him so when head boss dude told me he was coming back he announced it in front of allllll my coworkers so they could laugh at how badly i blushed. i hate that i’m fucking obvious!!! but at least he doesn’t know lmao

38. what do you like about yourself: i like to think i’m pretty funny. also my hair. eyes. booty. not to be totally self-involved but tbh i really love my toosh.

39. piercings: two in each ear and a nose ring!

40. blood type: i probably bleed kpop at this point

41. nickname: benny, peetah, pikachu, little bit

42. relationship status: single, thank fuck. i like my freedom too much.

43. zodiac: libra.

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: AVATAR: THE LAST DAMN AIRBENDER, young justice, voltron (i hate putting voltron next to those two though bc no offense but like....... voltron could never ever compare to how glorious a:tla/yj are)

46. tattoos: none! i’m debating getting one before my bday in october though

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: i had my gall bladder removed when i was 15

50. sport: i was a goalie in soccer for years!

51. vacation: like dream vacation?? australia. california. vegas. seoul. 

52. pair of trainers: apparently trainers = tennis shoes????? idek these things. i have a white pair of keds that i wear almost daily bc work

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: the last thing i ate was a couple apple slices?? idk what this is asking

54. drinking: waaaater

55. I’m about to: try to get some sleep

56. waiting for: sleepiness to hit me tbh

57. want: money. to kiss a pretty girl. to have my own house.

58. get married: maybe? i honestly can’t imagine myself caring about someone enough to wanna marry them though. and if i ever did no wedding pls thanks.

59. career: pharmacy technician!

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs

61. lips or eyes: lips

62. shorter or taller: TALLER tho it aint hard bc im way too short

63. older or younger: i guess older? 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hookup or relationship: iiiiiii guess relationship? 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker duh

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: i don’t think so

68. drank hard liquor: yaaaa

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. turned someone down: yupyup

71. sex on the first date: lmao yes

73. had your heart broken: i’m currently mourning the loss of question 72 so yes?? but truthfully yeah. i wouldn’t say my heart was broken as that’s melodramatic af. but there was a dude i could’ve really seen myself falling for and it didn’t pan out and that was probably the saddest i’ve ever been over anyone.

74. been arrested: nope. but i have been pulled over by the cops five times in one night. four?? maybe it was four times idk

75. cried when someone died: my dog, yeah. 

76. fallen for a friend: i’ve had crushes but def never fallen.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: sometimes

78. miracles: not really

79. love at first sight: lust, yeah. love, nope.

80. santa claus: nope

81. kiss on the first date: i actually used to be anti-anything on the first date, but that’s mostly bc it takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough around them to do anything. but the last girl i dated i did literally everything with on the first date so ?????? guess that shits out the door

82. angels: not so much

OTHER:

84. eye colour: mine?? blue. kind of a greyish blue.

85. favourite movie: the first thing that came to mind was ‘forgetting sarah marshall’ tbh

[pastelroses]

Thanks @watduidu ily but I hate u rn

1.Is a kiss considered cheating?

Yeahhh

2.Have you ever faked orgasm?

Nah

3.If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

My gf asked me this and then called my answer (power to manipulate probability) boring and said she’d want a superpower where she would be able to make someone orgasm with her mind so that if she didn’t like someone she could embarrass them publicly

4.Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years?

Nah but I’ll be more rich than I am rn

5.Tell us some funny drunk story.

One time four of us danced to high school musical as two of our other friends basically shagged on the floor it was a fun night

6.Why are you no longer together with your ex?

Uh it just wasn’t right for us I guess

7.If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be?

Lauren Jauregui choking me to death

8.What are your current goals?

Get the grades to go to a good uni for psychology and also not to die in London since me and Robyn are going alone

9.Do you like someone?

I like my gf

10.Who was the last person to disappoint you?

Myself

11.Do you like your body? Sometimes and sometimes I hate it

12.Can you keep a diet?

Nope

13.If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say?

Be nice to people n stop breaking hearts

14.Do you work?

Not ATM

15.If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be?

Tofu katsu curry 💯💯 I’m obsessed

16.Would you get a tattoo?

Yeaaaah I want a few

17.Something you don’t mind spending all your money on?

Poetry books

18.Can you drive?

Sorta

19.When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful?

A couple days ago I think

20.What was the last thing you cried for?

I cried last night reading a story about a dog who went to live with a family for the last few weeks of his life and the kids threw him a party

21.Do you keep a journal?

My drawer is filled with themmmm I currently have 3 ongoing ones

22.Is life fun?

This is vague but lmao yea

23.Is farting in front of people irrelevant?

Wtf is this question

24.What’s your dream car?

I don’t really have one??

25.Are grades in school important?

Yeaaah

26.Describe your crush.

She’s beautiful, kind, caring, intelligent, passionate and i love her a lot

27.What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?

The last book was ‘Our Numbered Days’ by Neil Hilborn and the last movie was 'Everything, Everything’ bc my wife is in it (and once the overpowering heterosexual storyline laid back a bit it was actually pretty good)

28.What was your last lie?

I have no idea I don’t remember the last time I lied

29.Dumbest lie you ever told?

Again idk I never really lie

30.Is crying in front of people embarrassing?

Oh god yeah

31.Something you did and you are proud of?

I’m proud of how I managed to get out of the dark place I was in like September/November/December last year

32.What’s your favourite cocktail?

I don’t remember it’s full name but the sunrise one is nice

33.Something you are good at?

Helping ppl

34.Do you like small kids?

Depends how annoying they are

35.How are you feeling right now?

Nervous and excited

36.What would you name your daughter/son?

Honestly I have no idea but I like the name Dylan

37.What do you need to be happy?

My dog

38.Is there some you want to punch in the face right now?

Trump

39.What was the last gift you received?

@ma-ma-chete bought me a cactus mug and a cat purse 💞💞

40.What was the last gift you gave?

I gave my gf a mochi ball lmao

41.What was the last concert you went to?

Not rlly a concert but I saw Neil Hilborn a couple weeks ago

42.Favourite place to shop at?

Idk tbh I like shopping online

43.Who inspires you?

Lauren Jauregui & Sasha Velour

44.How old were you when you first got drunk?

15 I think

45.How old were you when you first got high?

I’ve never been high

46.How old were you when you first had sex?

16

47.When was your first kiss?

It was last year

48.Something you want to do until the end of this year?

Be happy

49.Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done?

There are a lot of things

50.Post a selfie.

I will soon

51.Who are you most comfortable around?

My gf and my best friends

52.Name one thing that terrifies you.

Parasites 🤢🤢

53.What kind of books do you read?

Poetry books

54.What would you tell your 12 year old self?

Ur body isn’t too much of anything it’s totally fine

55.What is your favourite flower?

White Rose

56.Any bad habits you have?

Does laziness count

57.What kind of people are you attracted to?

Passionate, intelligent, artistic people

58.What was the last thing you cried for?

A dog

59.Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you?

I don’t eat meat, & raw fish disgusts me

60.Are you in love?

Yes

61.Something you find romantic?

Really long cute messages out of nowhere, calling just bc they miss your voice, random 'i love you’s’

62.How long was your longest relationship?

It’s been 8 months

63.What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?

This is generalised lmao

64.What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

^^

65.What are you saving money for?

London

66.How would you describe your bad side?

V anxious and uncontrolled and snappy

67.Are you actually a good person? Why?

I think so? I insist on helping people even when I shouldn’t even talk to them

68.What are you living for?

Life

69.Have you ever done anything illegal?

I drink underage

70.Do you like your body?

Haven’t I answered this??

71.Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?

Nope never

72.Ever sent nudes?

Yea boi

73.Have you ever cheated on someone?

Nope that’s disgusting

74.Favourite candy?

Ooh idk

75.Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!

Not really

76.Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game?

I do! And atm it’s The Last Guardian bc it’s just so aesthetically pleasing and calming

77.Favourite TV series?

The Bold Type, Rupaul’s Drag Race

78.Are you religious? Does God exist?

Nope and who knows

79.What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?

The Chaos of Longing and it did because k.y.robinson’s writing is beautiful

80.What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism?

It’s healthier both for our bodies and the world

81.How long have you been on Tumblr?

¾ years??

82.Do you like Chineese food?

Yeaaa

83.McDonalds or Subway?

McDonalds

84.Vodka or whiskey?

Vodka

85.Alcohol or drugs?

Alcohol

86.Ever been out of your province/state/country?

Yesss many times

87.Meaning behind your blog name?

I’m like obsessed with roses and idk I like the symbolism of fire

88.What are you scared of?

P sure I’ve answered this too but I’ll say more things; anything being inside me, the ocean, squids, spiders

89.Last time you were insulted?

I don’t remember

90.Most traumatic experience ?

My parents breaking up n all the arguments n shit

91.Perfect date idea?

Going to an abandoned place tbh like it’s just such a nice place to talk

92.Favourite app on your phone?

Music

93.What colour are the walls in your room?

3 are white and one is grey

94.Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?

Not often but I used to love Yogscast Hannah

95.Share your favourite quote.

'Sunrise will come. All you have to do is wake up.’

96.What is the meaning of life?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

97.Do you like horror movies?

Not really

98.Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?

Nope I haven’t

99.Do you feel lucky or special in a way?

Sometimes

100.Can you keep a secret?

Yesssss

@watduidu you have to do all 100 now !!

[sufferthesea]

Tagged by my sweet @pyroinquisitor​ ! Thank you!!

THE LAST

1. drink: Water! I have 7 water bottles in my room and I try to drink at least 4 of them a day.  2. phone call: AHAHAHA LIKE I TALK ON THE PHONE. (Actually, today I answered a call from my mom and almost ripped my thumb nail off on the chair trying to get to the phone.)  3. text message: I haven’t bought minutes for my phone so my last text was in June, saying “Your service ends soon”.  4. song you listened to: What Kind of Man by Florence + the Machine 5. time you cried: Teary-eyed or tears running down my face? Teary-eyed, today. Actual crying, ??? not sure!  6. dated someone twice: Nope! I’ve never dated!  7. kissed someone and regretted it: Theatre kisses don’t count (and neither do kisses on the cheek??), so I’ve never kissed anyone.  8. been cheated on: No 9. lost someone special: Yes. Many people.  10. been depressed: Yes. Gotta love that Frosty Fresh Depression  11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Never been drunk!  

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Purple 13. Yellow 14. Soft pastels and earth tones 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: Yes!! 💖 16. fallen out of love: Yes! Good riddance! 👋 17. laughed until you cried: Yes!  18. found out someone was talking about you: Yep! But the people they were talking to stopped being friends with them and now want to be my friend 😂 19. met someone who changed you: Hmmm, I think so?  20. found out who your friends are: Yes!  21. kissed someone on your facebook list: If stage kisses and kisses on the cheek count, then yes! That’d be like 20 ppl 😂😂 

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them! Most are family, high school friends, and college friends.  23. do you have any pets: Yes, a dog! He’s old and grumpy but I love him. I used to have a bearded dragon named Sylar and I miss him dearly.  24. do you want to change your name: Sometimes, but I really like it because it’s unique even tho it’s unisex and also a surname... and no one can say it correctly.... and I never see it anywhere....  25. what did you do for your last birthday: I can’t remember? My bday is close to my sister’s and dad’s, and it was close to my graduation so I think we had a combo birthday-grad dinner.  26. what time did you wake up: Alarms at 7.30am and 8am, and I woke up at 9am (-:  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Showering 28. name something you can’t wait for: To get another first draft of my original story done. Plot revision is a motivation killer.  29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Like 30min ago when I went to the kitchen.   30 has disappeared. RIP.  31. what are you listening to right now: Pity Party by MelMar.  32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I knew a kid whose middle name was Tom, so yes!  33. something that is getting on your nerves: My own procrastination.  34. most visited website: YouTube, Tumblr, FB, gmail  35. hair colour: My hair is kinda weird bc of my parents. But it’s really dark brown (from my mom) with gold and red (from my mom’s mom and dad)?? And then I have chunks of blonde from when I bleached it and had purple, pink, and blue highlights.  36. long or short hair: It’s medium but I want to grow it back to how it used to be. I used to have the longest hair at my school (to my waist)! I miss it a lot.  37. do you have a crush on someone: NO!! No one real anyway. Fictional characters? Always. Choose a show or game and I probably have a crush on one of the characters.  38. what do you like about yourself: I like what other people have said about me: I’m the most compassionate person they’ve met; I have good energy; I’m easy to talk to. I also like that I am able to write and draw fairly well. (-:  39. want any piercings: Yes but I haven’t had a good experience with my past piercings. There’s a piercing/tattoo artist I know and trust but he’s sooooo far away ))-:  40. blood type: idek  41. nickname: Immy, Bee, C.B., Hoe, literally sooo many but most are family-only nicknames. Some old nicknames are Sensei and Onee-chan/Ane-chan. I also called myself Obaa because I felt old talking to ppl who just entered the fandom haha. But never I was never called Senpai ))):  42. relationship status: Single Pringle! 43. zodiac: Taurus / Boar  44. pronouns: she/her  45. favourite tv show: idk probably anything with an Asian cast bc I like seeing my people onscreen  46. tattoos: Not yet, but if I ever get one I have a rough design done.  47. right or left handed: Right but I’m teaching myself to become ambidextrous  48. surgery: None that I remember 49. piercing: Ears 50. sport: No! I used to do cross country in elementary school? 51. vacation: Love love love any Lewis & Clark vacations. Lewis is my husband and I would die for him.  52. pair of trainers: My only tennis shoes are faded and worn-out 3 y.o. purple and gray/silver ones I bought in my WTNV phase. I don’t like shoes so I haven’t bought new ones even tho I should. 

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Nothing 54. drinking: Water 55. im about to: Listen to music and finish Chap 3 of HBAM and maybe do some Kakashi Week prompts 56. waiting for: Myself to stop being lazy  57. want: To lay under my falsa blanket in bed and get some work done 58. get married: Yes!! I’m so excited to get married (-: I know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s so awesome to think that I’ll get to spend the rest of my life loving on someone and being comfortably dorky around them  59. career: I want to be an author! Ppl tell me I should go into writing (screenplays or articles), drawing (book illustrations) or counseling, and my older sis wants me to be a teacher with her.  60. hugs or kisses: I’m selective about who gives me affection tbh, and I’m more of a hand-holder so idk 61. lips or eyes: Lips. I have a hard time keeping eye contact and paying attention to what’s being said. I feel like they’re looking into my soul.  62. shorter or taller: I luv being taller than people but I want my hubby to be taller than me!  63. older or younger: I’m both middle and oldest child in my mixed family. I want to marry someone older, but I like being the oldest in my friend group.  64. nice arms or nice stomach: Nice arms make me weak  66. troublemaker or hesitant: I used to be a troublemaker, but now I’m hesitant 

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger: No, but I proposed to one during a scavenger hunt (he said yes).  68. drank hard liquor: How hard is “hard”?  69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes. I never wear my glasses so I misplace them a lot.  70. turned someone down: Had to turn someone down for other ppl because they wouldn’t take no for an answer  71. sex on the first date:  No! I’ve never been on a date either ahahah 72. broken someone’s heart: Possibly  73. had your heart broken: Yes! Multiple times! But it heals stronger every time!  74. been arrested: No 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yeah /: 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: Yes but then I feel full of myself  78. miracles: Yes ?? But not like, cosmic miracles? I believe in God, ya know? so His miracles ??  79. love at first sight: Yes! (reminds me of the county bailiff and grilled cheese food car guys I fell in love with when I moved down here lolol)  80. santa claus: SANTA IS THE BEST (but, practically, no)  81. kiss on the first date: On the cheek or back of the hand, sure?? I’ve never been on a date????  82. angels: Yes! 

OTHER

83. current best friends’ names: Goldie 84. eye colour: Hazel (mostly green)  85. favourite movie: Jurassic Park, Across the Universe, The New World, Howl’s Moving Castle, Spirited Away 

Hopefully I filled them all in and didn’t leave Pyro’s answers hahaha

Tagging @thefoxthief @purple-possibilities @thetoxicstrawberry @ninja-crows @iyo-arts But only if you want to do it! 

[flishlish]

I didn’t see this tagging till just now, I havent been on tumblr much in the last few weeks, and i’m not sure if i’m answering all of these right. @unknownasianninja tagged me, Thanks

last…

1. drink: Tea

2. phone call: My dad

3. text message: asking my cousin a question (7 hours ago) which she has not responded to yet

4. song you listened to: Knocking at the Door by the Arkells

5. time you cried: Yesterday probably? Maybe this morning? its hard to keep track of...

have you ever…

6. dated somebody twice: No

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Not really

8. have been cheated on: not so far  as i know

9. lost someone special: not sure?

10. been depressed: yuppp

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Lol no, I’ve never even drank

favorite colors…

12. to wear: Maroon

13. I like teal

14.  and magenta???

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Yes

16. fallen out of love: no

17. laughed until you cried: Yes

18. found out somebody was talking about you: No

19. met somebody who changed you: don’t think so

20. found out who your friends are: no?

21. kissed somebody on your facebook list: nope

general

22.  how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them, not that i’ve seen a lot of them in years though

23. do you have any pets: Yes! Chewbacca :)

24. do you want to change your name: I love my name actually

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Nothing. It was my last day at my old job though so i guess that was nice.

26. what time did you wake up: 8:45 I overslept

27. what were you doing at midnight: sleeping

28. name something you can’t wait for: fane expo this weekend but i still have shit to do to prepare!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: sunday

30. what are you listening to right now: nothing, the toilet running i guess

31. have you ever talked to someone named tom: Yes

32. something that gets on your nerves: My uncle

33. most visited website: youtube at the moment

34. hair color: light brown

35. long or short hair: v long

36. do you have a crush on somebody: nope

37. what do you like about yourself: I think i’m fairly smart & a good person

38. piercings: None

39. blood type: O-

40. nickname: Does Felice count? My dad calls me “Poo” for some reason so I guess thats one?

41. relationship status: Spinster

42. zodiac: Aries

43. pronouns: she/her

44. favorite tv shows: Merlin of course

45. tattoos: none

46. right or left handed: Right

47. surgery: Nope

48. sports: NO

49. vacation: I’d love one

50. pair of trainers: I have some extremely beat up running shoes 

51. eating: a pepperette and crackers

52. favorite drink: Tea!

53. what are you up to: finishing up like 3 costumes for fan expo

54. waiting for: star wars

55. want: to be done this costume

56. get married: probably not

57. career: map person

58. hugs or kisses: hugs

59. lips or eyes: i happen to have both thanks

60. shorter or taller: I’m average height

61. older or younger: i’m not too old yet

62. nice arms or stomach: ?

63. hook up or relationship: neither

64. troublemaker or hesitant: I am hesitant and anxious about almost everything lol

65. kissed a stranger: nooooooooo

66. drank hard liquor: nope

67. lost glasses/contact lenses: I have amazing vision so no

68. turned someone down: ya

69. sex on the first date: sex on the never 

70. broken someone’s heart: i feel like maybe but like also, he’s the one who dumped me so?

71. had your heart broken: No

72. been arrested: Nope

73. cried when someone died: Yes

74. fallen for a friend: kinda, but I just ignored it and it went away pretty quick

do you believe in…

75. yourself: depends on the situation

76. miracles: Not really

77. love at first sight: No

78. santa claus: No

79. kiss on the first date: other ppl can do what they want

80. angels: unsure

81. current best friends names: Molly, Jess, Allison, Chewbacca

82. eyecolor: blueish

83. favorite movie: star wars

Aight, tagging time: whoever wants to i’m too lazy right now

My mind is at a blank rn, so if you want to do it, you can.

[horansqueen]

BabyGirl 11.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts okay more like 15 parts? lol ♥ 3.4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ i really hope people are still interested in this and i hope this is not too bad? INTENSE FLUFF ALERT! you’re warned lol! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1  // PART 2 // PART 3  // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7 // PART 8 // PART 9 // PART 10

                                11.0 RINGS AND PARENTING

HIM

I brought Chelsea to her improvised room after a quick stop to the bathroom and helped her in bed before going through my stuff to find a new shirt for her to borrow. She remained sitting in bed, waiting for me, and when I came back, I chuckled and sat in front of her.

"You couldn't take off your clothes yourself?" I teased, raising my eyebrows and laughing again.

"I can, but I like when you take care of me." she answered with a shrug.

I felt my heart melt and my amused smile turned into a fond one. I was trying to find something smart or kind to answer but i felt speechless. I never expected her honesty and it always destabilized me to hear her so open about her feelings and thoughts, perhaps because I was not really used to express mine. Or maybe because I had spent years trying to keep them as secret as I could. I guess it was part of the job, and the only time I could really let them out was in the songs I wrote.

Chelsea grabbed the shirt from my hands, taking me out of my thoughts, and stared at it for a few seconds before looking back up in my eyes,

"You said you had a shirt exactly like mine, can I wear it?"

I felt my heart bump against my rib cage at her request and breathed in deeply, trying to find the right words.

"I can't, I'm sorry, I don't have it anymore."

Her eyes got bigger and she stared at me, her lips parting slightly.

"Where is it?"

I moved on the bed, feeling a bit uncomfortable. I was not going to lie to her but at the same time, I couldn't spill the biggest bomb ever right there.

"I left it at someone's place." I just answered. "Someone important. Someone I love. And i'm sure they're taking good care of it."

She nodded slowly, looking at the shirt she had in hands, and gently, I helped her take her own shirt off and put the new one on, which was clearly too large for her. She lied down and I grabbed her pants on both legs, pulling on it quickly and making her laugh.

"Socks on or off?" I just asked, raising my eyebrows.

She seemed to hesitate but shook her head. "I'll keep them. I love them."

"You're right, they're amazing."

I saw the chain of her necklace due to the large collar of the shirt she was wearing and reached for it, placing it over her shirt. It brought so many memories and they all sped up in my brain, making me feel a bunch of emotions I had suppress with the years. I liked this necklace and when I gave it to her mother, I meant every single word that came out of my mouth on that day, no matter how cheesy they were.

"Do you know what that necklace means, Chelsea?"

I looked up to meet her eyes and she was frowning. It was cute and I sat better on the bed, moving slightly closer to her. i knew I had to choose my words wisely again and I took a few seconds to think before speaking.

"Those come in pairs. The person who buys it keeps the heart and give the key to someone they love." I explained slowly. "I know it's cliché, but basically, it means that person always has the key to the other’s heart."

She blinked a few times and looked down at the key, grabbing it with her tiny fingers to see it better. I remember saying something similar to my girlfriend when I gave it to her, and I remember keeping the heart with me at all times. It was just an image, a way to tell her how much I loved her without really saying it, but from the reaction she had had back then, I knew it had the desired effect I had hoped for.

"Someone they love?" she asked, making me nod. "Like the person you gave your shirt to?"

I stared at her in surprise, shocked that she had linked both stories although there was no reason to. I hadn't even mentioned the fact that I bought necklaces like hers but for some reason, she had made a connection I never even thought about.

"Uhm, yes, someone like that person."

"I thought you loved my mommy." she pointed out. "Are you gonna marry her?"

This time, the shock on my face was obvious. I was lost for words, unable to find an answer to give her. How could a four year old literally leave me speechless like that?

"I-I don't... I don't know, Chelsea."

Instead to get more curious, she started yawning and it made me chuckle. I didn't have to find a way to switch the conversation and bring it in an other direction, I could see my daughter was tired and that's all it took.

"Come on, enough chatting, it's getting late."

She didn't argue and lied down with an other yawn. I helped her get under the covers and brought them up to her chin, letting two of my fingers slip in her hair.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything else?"

She shook her head and I sent her a smile. I never thought I would enjoy these simple moments but I cherish them with everything I have. I always knew I wanted kids but I never thought it would be so soon. In fact, I wanted it to be later in life, but sometimes, life doesn't go as planned, and occasionally, it ends up being better than we thought.

"Goodnight, Chelsea." I whispered, bending my upper body closer to her. "I love you."

She suddenly sat up and threw her arms around my neck. My heart jumped in surprise but for the second time that day, I pulled her closer and hugged her against me. It filled my heart with a warm feeling that I couldn't explain and I closed my eyes. It was the kind of memories I wanted to keep engraved in my mind forever.

I didn't know how long this hug would last but there was no way I would break it first. Chelsea finally yawned in my ear again and I smiled as she let go of me to lie back down.

"If you need anything, your mom and I will be near, alright?"

She nodded and her eyes fluttered close. It was my cue to leave and I turned the lights off and closed the door behind me before walking back to my room. I walked to my drawers and opened the first one, pushing some of my socks to find what I was looking for. I didn't know If I was really going to do it now, but I knew that back then, I had no hesitation. I grabbed the small box and slipped it in my pocket. I was going to do it because it felt right, and because I wanted it, and it was about time I started to put myself first. For so long, I had taken decisions to make others happy, but it was going to change.

HER

I grabbed the dishes and started rinsing them slowly, lost in my thoughts, putting them in the dish washer randomly and hoping that it was how Niall was doing it normally. I knew he was a bit anal when it came to his stuff and I didn't want to annoy him. I was lost in my thoughts and didn't hear him when he came back until he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I turned the water off and a smile appeared on my lips immediately. His body warmth made me feel suddenly better and I tilted my head slightly when his lips brushed against the skin of my neck.

"How's our daughter?" I asked in a whisper to be sure Chelsea wouldn't hear.

"Good, she's probably sleeping by now."

He dropped a kiss on my temple and let go of me to reach the fridge, grabbing the bottle of red wine and placing it on the counter. After pouring two glasses, he handed me one and I leaned against the table. He stared at me as he took a sip and I did the same. I was not used to see Niall drink wine but I couldn't help to think he looked good and that there was nothing I wanted more than to be close to him.

"Thank you for putting her to bed for me." I let out with a sigh, taking a bigger sip this time.

"Don't thank me, it's part of the job." he pointed out before his face cracked into a smile. "And to be quite honest with you, I really like spending time with her."

His confession made me smile back at him and i leaned against the isle, facing him.

"You seemed a bit lost in your thoughts, too." he added. "Are you okay?"

I put my glass on the isle and shook my head slightly.

"I was just a bit.. baffled, by your conversation with Chelsea."

He raised his eyebrows and crossed his ankles, leaning more against the counter. I noticed an amused grin on his lips and it made me roll my eyes with a chuckle.

"I can bet you're not talking about the socks conversation."

I laughed and shook my head again, moving a lock of my hair behind my ear. I thought i'd be nervous to talk about our relationship with Niall but I was at ease and comfortable, and I saw it as a proof we were really meant to be.

"I mean, when you said you love me." I explained, licking my lips. "It sort of took me by surprise."

I saw his eyebrows move as he frowned slightly. "I thought... I thought I made it clear."

"I don't know Niall." I shrugged, having a hard time to explain my exact thoughts. "I know you said you used to love me, but I didn't know if you still did, or..."

I stopped myself and closed my eyes, inhaling deeply and sighing.

"I love you too." I just admitted, my eyes still closed. "I never stopped."

Slowly, I found the courage to open my eyes again, noticing he was now closer to me. My heart jumped in my chest but I wasn't sure it was because of what I had just professed, or because of the way he was looking at me.

"I have something for you."

He dived his hand in his pocket and I frowned at how quickly he had changed the subject. I felt a bit ridiculous now and also quite bad. It seemed like he didn't really want to talk about feelings and I didn't want to force him.

I cleared my throat and waited until he handed me a small box. It brought a smile back on my lips and I grabbed it gently. Inside was a plastic ring very similar to the one he gave Chelsea a few hours earlier, except for the color of the fake stone, and I chuckled, taking it and putting the box away.

"You're ridiculous." I joked with a large grin, putting it on my ring finger. "Thank you."

I stared at it for a few seconds, moving my hand very slightly to see the artificial light of the kitchen reflect on the fake blue stone, until he grabbed my hand and pulled it closer to him.

"When I first met you, I knew something would happen with you. I didn't know how long it would last, and I didn't know how it would go. All I knew is that after only a few hours around you, I felt it in my heart that I could love you."

His fingers warmed mine and he squeezed them more. I was disconcerted by how serious he had suddenly become. He was not smiling anymore and I could read in his eyes that his words were important. I held my breath as I drank his words, trying to remain motionless.

"And I did. I fell in love with you. It was a feeling I was not used to. In fact, I had never felt like that before and I was not sure what I was supposed to do, and how things were supposed to go. I didn't open up to you. I didn't know how to tell you all the feelings I had for you, and what I expected from our relationship. I didn't know how to handle it, and I had no idea how to add boundaries, or how to respect yours. I was scared to make a mistake so I did nothing and somehow, I feel like it's part of the reason, or all of it, why we didn't work out back then."

I swallowed a lump in my throat, making sure I wouldn't let tears out, but it was not an easy task. i allowed myself to breathe in and my lips parted a bit as I stared at him. He looked down at our hands and frowned as if he thought of a memory or a feeling he didn't understand.

"I didn't talk much but my mind was constantly moving, thinking of ways to make you happy, or doing things I felt like you would want me to do. And one day..." He stopped himself and swallowed. "One day, I bought this."

I frowned, waiting for what was next, still looking at him, until I felt him move my fingers again. My gaze dropped down and my breath caught in my throat. I felt like my whole body was on fire and I let him push an other ring against the plastic one. This one was clearly not from a vending machine. It was a heart shaped with diamonds but it was still delicate and simple. I swallowed hard and when i finally succeeded to look away from it, my eyes met his.

"It's just an engagement ring, and I never could decide of a right way, or a right time to ask you, but I knew I was gonna ask you." He paused and inhaled deeply, still staring at me. "My life was so hectic back then. I was always traveling the world, doing concerts, recording... I was exhausted all the time, and I felt guilty to bring you into this lifestyle that you clearly hadn't chosen. But I bought this ring for when things would be better, for when we would wake up together in the same bed more than just once in a while. I bought it and there was not a single doubt in my mind that I would ask you to marry me someday."

He squeezed my fingers again, the ring felt heavy on my hand because of everything it implied but his words made me feel lighter than I had ever felt before.

"I don't want to do things the way I did them last time. I want to open up to you this time. Because that's what people do when they love each other. They don't let the other get lost, or wait for them. They don't expect the other to guess how they feel and they don't lie to them. It's gonna be different this time."

I felt my eyes fill with water once again but this time, I didn’t stop the tears. He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my fingers, his lips barely brushing against my skin.

"I'm not forcing you, you can say no if you want to, and there will be no harm feelings, no guilt trip, no awkward moment. You can say it's too soon, you can take it off and never wear it, and you are in no way obligated to love me, or marry me. But I love you, and I bought this ring for you. You do whatever you want to do with it because I will never buy an other one, for anyone else. You're the only one I want to marry. You're the only one I want to spend my life with."

With his free hand, he reached for my cheek and wiped the tears off before bringing his hand to my chin, tilting my head up. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I could read the sincerity of his words in his eyes. It made my heart stir and I licked my lips.

"I love you too, Niall." I let out in a whisper. "You know I want to wear it. I would have worn it back then too. I would have accepted your busy schedule. I would have followed you around the world."

His face changed into a guilt expression and he just nodded slowly, blinking a few times. I gripped the front of his shirt and started nibbling on my bottom lip.

"I've never stopped loving you either. Not a second. You were always there with me. In my thoughts, in my heart, in every single thing I did. I would always wonder what you would do, or how you'd react if you were there... what you'd say, how it would feel... how different things would be." I closed my eyes tight for a few seconds and opened them again. "I don't want to be without you anymore, okay?"

"Okay." he whispered, moving his face closer and pressing his lips against mine.

I let go of his shirt and brought both my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pressed my body against his. and kissed me deeper. I could feel myself cry again, my tears falling on both our mouths and salting the kiss we were sharing. I didn't care about anything but what was happening at this exact moment, but I knew the whole speech he had spoken and the engagement ring were two things that would really hit me later.

"I love you so much." I breathed, allowing my lips to leave his only for a second.

He pushed our bodies and my butt pressed against the isle and it made my lips curl a bit. One of his hand moved to the front of my shirt, brushing against my breasts and down to my stomach before slipping under it. Without thinking, I let out a very low whimper, making him smirk against my lips.

"I haven't touched you in so long." he mentioned in a murmur. "Is it a bad time?"

I smiled and moved my head back slightly with a smile.

"Not a bad time, but a bad place." I corrected with a laugh. "When you have a kid, there's more chance to get caught. We should go to your room."

He laughed too and I could swear his eyes were sparkling when he picked me up. I let him bring me to his room and he closed the door with one of his feet, letting me fall on the bed as he placed himself over me. His lips found mine again and I brought my hands to his back, pulling on his shirt and moving it over his head to take it off. His lips brushed down to my neck and a throbbing sensation appeared all over my body.

"I may have gained some weight..." I started, making him move back to look in my eyes.

"It looks amazing." he just said, cutting me. "I don't want you to ever apologize for what you look like, or for who you are. There is nothing wrong with you."

I felt my heart jump and nodded slightly at his words. I had never felt so loved in my entire life. Back then, when Niall and I dated, I was not sure if he really loved me, but this time, he said he wanted to make things different, and I knew we were up to a good start.

"You didn't give me a ring just to get in my pants, did you?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"No... Did I need it?" he wondered with a laugh, raising his eyebrows and making me chuckle.

"No, definitely not."

The truth was, I could lie all I wanted, I felt like I belonged to him. There was a reason why I couldn't take him out of my head and heart all these years, and I was convinced that reason was right there and then. I was drowning in feelings and It made me realize this was not just an other love story. It was epic, and I was ready for it.

[resilientreader]

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

[shinwrons]

get to know me tag 🐹🌼

thanks for tagging me @jaehyunscult hope stuff is going well for you my babe

just answering some questions :))

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Sprite 2. Phone call: my mommy asking me what I wanted to eat 3. Text message: my cousin, we were talking about some new stationery she got in the mail hhhhh 4. Song you listened to: I just have hyyh pt.1 playing bc I’m in an emo mode  5. Time you cried: last night bc I got overwhelmed about monsta x and the concert which is in 2 fucking days asfjlkjsdlf

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: ugh I guess 10. Been depressed: being happy?? I don’t know her 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, not yet at least

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: pinky brown, lavender, peach

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yep 16. Fallen out of love: I ain’t ever been in love my dude 17. Laughed until you cried: everytime I’m with my best friend so yessir 18. Found out someone was talking about you: fucking yes, she can choke btw 19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, but for the better  20. Found out who your friends are: pretty much 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t use facebook but I guess you could say yes in a sense

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like I said, don’t use facebook but if I did probably like 5 idfk 23. Do you have any pets: yes, I have two dogs… sassy and honey :) 24. Do you want to change your name: no, I’m pretty fine with it 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: went out to eat with some family 26. What time did you wake up: 7am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was sleepinnn 💤 28. Name something you can’t wait for: this monsta x concert, my paycheck and finishing summer reading 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like 2 sec ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: me being broke 31. What are you listening to right now: like I said hyyh pt.1 specifically converse high 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nahh 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: summer reading 34. Most visited Website: prolly youtube

LOST QUESTIONS. 

35. Mole/s:I don’t really have moles but freckles 36. Mark/s: got a birthmark on the side of my right boob, and I have a lot of scars on my legs from falling… I’m clumsy af 37. Childhood dream: to be a children’s dentist  38. Haircolor: black but sort of brown in the sunlight 39. Long or short hair: I like both tbh but like since my hair is curly it looks sort of awkward if my hair was really short but I find girls with short hair really attractive  40. Do you have a crush on someone: kim samuel

41. What do you like about yourself: nothinggg 42. Piercings: used to have my ears pierced but they closed up and I’m not gonna try and re pierce bc my ears are very sensitive 43. Bloodtype: I have no clue 44. Nickname: hoe with glasses, maruchi, maroah, maria, rosebush, roseberry, rudy, riah pie (my name is mariah for reference and my last name has rose in it) 45. Relationship status: fucking single, going to keep it that way 46. Zodiac: aries 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: don’t really have any but I was obsessed with Deadbeat for awhile 49. Tattoos: dont have any, but I do want one for my 18th :)) 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: does tonsils count?? 52. Hair dyed in different color: never dyed my hair, it would probably dry it out really bad and I’m too lazy to take care of dyed natural hair 53. Sport: I don’t know her 55. Vacation: really wanna go to s korea, france and canada 56. Pair of trainers: gonna buy some black and white converse before school starts

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing rn 58. Drinking: sprite rn, but I like drinking water or juice more 59. I’m about to: watch some yt and read fics 61. Waiting for: my paycheck 62. Want: some cute stationery and albumssss  63. Get married: god forbid 64. Career: I’m just floating rn, don’t know what I want to do. I have 2 years to decide

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: both hmmm, I want a short gf 68. Older or younger: if we’re talking about partners, I’m okay with both but I don’t really like big age differences  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms 71. Sensitive or loud: I’m not really either 72. Hook up or relationship: honestly I’m thinking hook ups are better but I’m very confused atm 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I stay in my bed

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yar 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yar 78. Sex on the first date: i meeeean 79. Broken someone’s heart: if I have,,, they probably deserved it 80. Had your heart broken: yeah but not in a romantic sort of way 81. Been arrested: nah 82. Cried when someone died: yessss 83. Fallen for a friend: yup,,,

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not really 85. Miracles: idek 86. Love at first sight: that is literally a myth, 87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss in the first date: yeah, that’s cute 89. Angels: yeah but I don’t think they help ppl

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: amore, sage, aiyana, yazmen 91. Eyecolor: dark brown 92. Favorite movie: I love movies :)) Forrest Gump, Glory Road, Remember the Titans, Mulan, Diary of a Teenage Girl, To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything Julie Newmar,, and so much more

tagging new mutuals: @rockybaby @saylalalisa @keyismystarlight @hop-ie @hyyhhoe 

yall don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but it would be cool to know more about you guys ☺