#I know it’s 4am what else am I gonna do?

[dancing-heart-pony]

So… Brain Leak 🧠💦

[lcriedlastnight]

Exes to lovers with Oscar: “what can i do? how can i fix this?”

idk how good i am at writing angsty stuff but here’s hoping i do you proud anon, lovely!

tw: fem!reader, not spell checked or proof read (cba bro it’s almost 4am), angsty (idk i tried), swears, lmk if you want to add anything else.

w/c: 2.3k

you hadn’t seen oscar in almost a month. the breakup was not the amicable, it was all oscar’s idea. not to play the name game or anything.

he was the one who ended things a month ago. your lives were just ‘too different’ right now and you were going in ‘different directions’. he was the one who had made sure he left no trace of himself in your apartment. he was the one you cried about when it got late and you felt lonely. most importantly, he was the one who acted like nothing had even happened.

people were commenting on your instagram posts and stories constantly asking where oscar was. it felt like getting kicked while you were already down. you stopped posting altogether after that.

it took you this whole month even be able to live your life again, before you were just existing. lando was the one to pull you up by your bootstraps and help you get your life back on track.

“i hate seeing you like this!” the brunette had begged you, a few weeks before, to go out clubbing with him and george.

“it’s just not my scene, lan. you know that. i’d rather just lay in bed all day and listen to the saddest songs on the tortured poets department.” you told him from somewhere between your messy bedsheets.

lando sighed and sat on the side of your bed. “c’mon! laying here crying about it will do nothing.” you knew he was right but it would do too much to his ego if you told him so, plus you also wanted to rot in this hurt for a little while longer.

“maybe next time.” you had offered. both of you knew you were lying.

the time came when lando finally made you face your problems head on, when he made you join him the monaco grand prix. with promises of not having to stay in a hotel and his company (you didn’t know if either of those things was something you wanted right now) the whole weekend, you eventually agreed. whether you agree just to shut him up or because you knew you would run into oscar… well it was a tie.

you lay tossing and turning in the guest room of lando’s, you couldn’t sleep for thinking about the man who has haunted your dreams for the past month and graced them for a year and a half before that. you decided to give up on getting sleep for now, turning onto your side you plan in your mind how you wanted the next day to play out. you were unsure if you should go for making him jealous of making him feel bad for you, eye bags and depression written all over your face or dolled up to the nines. in the end you decided on making him jealous. what good would looking gross at one of the most high profile races of the year - in front of your ex, no less - do you? you eventually fall asleep planning your outfits in your head.

the next morning you woke up with plenty of time to get ready, giving yourself plenty of time to get ready. lando, being your best friend, had the privilege of getting up at the arse crack of dawn, just as the light started to shine through his curtains, to ‘get ready with you’ as you had put it. he would put it as ‘you getting ready and him watching until you were almost done, then getting ready himself’. same thing basically.

“put that one taylor swift song on i know.” lando asks from his bed as you sit in front of his floor length mirror. you make eye contact from the floor.

“which one is that? she has like a million?” you question, you obviously being in charge of the music. lando groans as he turns onto his front, his groan becoming muffled by the bedsheets. you roll your eyes at his dramatics.

“i’m just gonna put folklore on then.” you tell him, picking up your phone from beside you where it was currently charging. lando near enough leaps from the bed at your words.

“no! that album is depressing! that’s not today’s vibe!” his hands reaching for your phone.

“what is the vibe for today then?” you ask, going back to blending out your light eyeshadow.

you can sense what lando is going to say before it even comes out of his mouth. “reputation.”

the start of ‘this is why we can’t have nice things’ plays through the speakers your phone is connected to in his room. you really try to hold off from telling him that reputation has more love songs on it than he thinks but you can’t help yourself. lando is surprised at the news and asks what album has the most repuatuation vibes.

you sigh. “i made a playlist. just play that.”

once you had finished your makeup, lando starts to get ready as you fish out the outfit you had planned out in your head last night out of your bag. you knew it had to be good, seeing as this was the first time in a month that oscar will see you.

a month wasn’t really that long, you both had been apart longer when you couldn’t make it to races and he had shit to do in training, but this separation was different. it was permanent and because of that it felt like years since you had seen oscar. double that, the last time you spoke to him.

“y’ready then?” lando asks, grabbing his car keys. you follow behind, your sundress swaying with the movements of your legs as you grab your clutch bag, filled with random items you knew you probably were never going to touch for the rest of the day. you nod, slipping on your heels and head to the car, right behind lando.

arriving at the paddock didn’t feel as weird as you thought it would. the flashes from the cameras almost blind you both as you walk in together. most reporters asking if you had cheated on oscar with the tanned brit.

as usual you ignore them and strut harbouring a false sense of confidence as you walk side by side with lando.

you stick to lando’s side of the garage during qualifying. some of oscar’s engineers notice you and give you a wave, not wanting to be rude you wave back. you watch q3 nervously, a part of you- way deep in the back of your brain - wishes for oscar to well and it’s looking like he could even get pole for the first ever time in a proper f1 race. his qualifying last grand prix weekend had really impressed you (not that you were watching him or anything. you were only watching to support lando) but had also made you think that oscar had made the right decision with your breakup.

as you watch on during the final few minutes of q3 you feel a camera pan on your face from the corner of you eye. you pretend not to notice, scared incase on the screen it still calls you oscar’s partner. not that you would know, but if you forget about the camera then you’ll most likely forget about it all as a whole.

lando qualifies fourth. oscar second. a great weekend for mclaren. a podium basically already in the bag for the, usually, papaya team. as both cars make their way back to the garage, you stand off to the side, waiting on lando.

the boy in the fluorescent helmet jumps out of the car and almost sprints to the opposite end of the garage, to oscar’s side, eager to congratulate him. you watch as the boy takes off his helmet and balaclava to wrap the australian up in a friendly hug. the latter not even getting the chance to take his own helmet or balaclava off before the arms of his friend wrap around him.

you just watch from afar, wanting so badly to be the one feeding oscar words of praise and excitement about the race tomorrow. you see them both converse as you try to act like your not staring, suddenly remembering the cameras lingering around. lando finally peels himself away and makes his way back to you. oscar’s eyes follow him to you. you don’t know if he’s surprised to see you or not. not like you even care anyways.

“well done lan!” you cheer, maybe a bit too loud than normal. your arms wrapping around his fireproofs in a tight hug, copying his own actions to his teammate minutes before. you hoped oscar was watching on.

“thanks bro!” lando laughs in your ear, happily as his results were improving every race. you also laugh at his choice of words.

“bro?” you ask through a giggle. the giggle drawing the attention of oscar again, who had tried to forget about your presence but felt like he was getting harshly reminded of the grave mistake he had made.

“you’re my bro” is all the explanation he gives. it’s not like he’s lying to be fair, you were his bro. he lets go of his hold on you then talks about his plans for tomorrow night.

“is it not a bit too early to be thinking about tomorrow after the race already?” you ask him, as if you’re not used to this at the end of every saturday.

“i should be at the club” he shrugs as he drags you to his race room. directly next to oscar’s. you know this hallway like the back of your hand.

you hear oscar’s footsteps behind you and lando as he tells you every thought he had during the flying laps. you trying so hard to listen but all you can think about it how much you want to turn around to oscar and bag him to take you back. but you’re not doing that. that would, well that would just be a new low for you.

“i just knew osc would be quick, didn’t think he would be quicker than me. he’ll probably be on the podium tomorrow.” lando comments, offhandedly. both your’s and oscar’s ears prick up at the mention of oscar’s name.

oscar strains his ears as you stop just in front of lando’s door. he tries to keep a safe distance, not wanting to alert you both of him.

“yeah?” is all you say. lando snorts.

“you could at least act like you care.” lando says as he opens the door to let you both in. that’s when you both hear the heavy, quick footsteps of oscar rushing to you before you enter lando’s driver room.

“hey-uh can i talk to you?” oscar directs to you, eyes not even trying to shift in lando’s direction. you hesitate. why was he acting like he hasn’t just broken up with you.

“please?” oscar practically begs. lando gives you an encouraging nudge before disappearing into his room, leaving you no choice but to stand in the hallway with oscar.

it’s quiet before you speak up, words a little uneasy and shaky. “what could you possibly have to say to me?” you question him.

“please don’t be like this. i can’t do it.” oscar’s voice is weak and almost pathetic. you scoff at his words.

“you’re being serious? where was this when you broke up with me?” you seethe, feeling your anger build. oscar looks hurt but you see a glint of something you can’t decipher in his eye and it makes you miss him even more, you can’t stand this.

“what can i do? how can i fix this? fix us?” oscar looks down at you with wide eyes. you swear they look glassy, like if he blinks too hard tears he’s so clearly fighting will slide down his cheeks.

“fix us?” you ask, confused. “you want to fix this?”.

oscar nods eagerly, gathering your hands in his and pressing them against his chest. “i can’t bare this without you. i’m so stupid for thinking that breaking up was the right thing to do. i miss you in everything i do. all i could think about out there was if you were still mines how i could go celebrate this with you. i don’t know if i remember how to live without you, baby.”

you only stare at him. your face betraying you by showing oscar every little feeling that flashes through your mind.

“it’s been like this since miami. you should’ve been there. i’m sorry. i’ve ruined this for you. and i know this is me being selfish but i need you to come back to me.” the grip oscar has on your hands get a little tighter as he begs you to forgive him.

you feel your bottom lip wobble a little before you pull your lips in a tight line to pull yourself together. “i miss you too. but you hurt me.” you say, cautious and wary.

oscar makes this pained noise like he’s been winded as your words hit him. “i know and i’m so fucking sorry. what can i do to make it up to you? i’ll do anything i swear.” oscar was clearly not above begging for you to his again.

you think for a second, eyes avoiding his and instead looking down at the floor. seeing as oscar can read you like a book he knows what’s coming next. you’re gonna reject him in a way he knows only you could and cry too, because you will feel bad, you’ll feel bad for the monster who broke your heart. how could he even think he would have a chance at getting you back?

you surprise him by speaking up softly. “maybe a trial date?” you suggest. oscar’s head nearly falls off from how quickly he nods. never agreeing to something so quickly before in his life. he’s going to make this the best date you’ve ever been on in your life.

[literallyrave]

Tiring Night, Bright Light

I wrote this at 4AM two nights ago and FORGOT about it

just a little fluff drabble

pairing: Jason Todd + Reader

warnings: swearing, that’s it I think lmk if there’s something else‼️

Last night, for Jason at least, was a blur- not in the ‘so drunk tomorrow I won’t be able to walk more then 10 feet from the bathroom to my bedroom’ but the ‘Average night as Red Hood almost turns into a near death experience (again)’ type of night.

You on the other hand were overworked, losing your mind over every single word you heard or a car horn going off outside. Not to mention Jason only sending one word texts that were hours apart.

You ended up being on the literal edge of sleep when the soft squeak of the door opened and broad footsteps coming to the bed you laid in. Then the weight of the bed caving in, and the inventible arm that slithered around your waist and pulled your back up to his bare chest. You don't remember much after that, only the small kisses that were pressed to the back of your neck and shoulders.

You woke up to the sun pulsing in your eyelids, you let out a groan and used the blanket to cover your eyes. Not even noticing the snores coming from your exhausted boyfriend until you didn't feel him wrapped around you. That was when you turned over, putting your leg over his and your face in his back in your own little attempt to spoon him.

"Jayyyy" you dragged out as he stirred in his sleep. Seemingly hearing your 'cry' he woke up "hell y'doin up so early?" He slurred as he rubbed the tiredness out of his eyes. "God your hot.." he mumbled only to be met with your snarky little "i know!". He flipped himself over to see your face but the sun decided to partially blind him instead "Jesus- you leave the blinds open or something?" He sat up "No! You so did that, not me!" You defended yourself "uh huh, sure sweetie." Jason said as he got up, stretching in the process as he closed the blinds fully

"Now what am i gonna do with ya?" He said before climbing on top of you, pattering kisses along your face that made you giggle "You're such a sap today" you managed to giggle out before you pressed a light kiss upon his lips. "What can i can I say? You had a glow to ya this morning" He joked before laying next to you and wrapping you up in hopes of forgetting everything last night, which was already gone by the time you started rambling.

[local-lamppost]

Initial thoughts cause it's 4am

Spoilers

First off, wow... it's really good. I've been saying that if season 2 is as good as season 1 Arcane would be my new favorite show and we are on track. Anyway, just gonna list stuff until I can process/rewatch a billion times

Mel lived! I was so certain that they would just kill her off, make that Ambessa's motive (give Jayce a reason to keep fighting the Undercity) but it's much more interesting keeping her involved in the narrative. Love her trying to bother understand and undermine her mother. Those Black Rose guys best not have hurt a hair on her perfect head.

Speaking of. What in the Utena are these Black Rose magic people? I love the look of their magic. I wonder how they can corrupt people. Is it a spell? Do they slip them something?

Love how the divide of Jayce and Viktor was done. Jayce betrayed Viktor's wishes of destroying the Hexcore. Last season, Viktor wanted to forget about using the core to save himself after Sky and begged Jayce to destroy it when the core wouldn't allow Viktor himself to do it. In Jayce's mind though, the core is the solution to Viktor's problems. He didn't know it killed Sky or that it can influence Viktor, but all Viktor can comprehend is that Jayce didn't trust him. Didn't keep his promise. And this is fresh off of Jayce's season 1 antics against the Undercity, so Viktor's faith in his partner was already shaken. Viktor's also comfortable in his mortality/death, even though he wants to prolong it like every other human, but Jayce can't fathom loosing Viktor-the man who saved his life and made his dreams reality.

(Side note: Am I a JayVik shipper? I never considered myself one, but after writing this...)

JINX HAS A KID! I love this choice. Give Jinx a kid so she is able to learn what Silco and Vi had to go through with her, that no matter how big or dangerous a scheme to take this child into account. The confrontation in ep 3 really showed what Jinx will have to consider now that this kid's decided to adopt her as an older sister or something. Especially nice detail of how Vi-who has always had to consider the kids in her life-immediately stops fighting and starts looking for ways to keep the kid safe.

I was wondering how Jinx would loose a finger and Caitlyn shooting it off to save Vi is just- The fact that the only way these two can show they care about Vi when it comes to each other is by hurting the other.

Sevika's new arm is fantastic. It's a peace offering from Jinx, but also a way for Jinx to feel better (it was something she could fix). The mechanics of it are really fun. It reminds me of Kite's weapon from HxH with how it didn't always work/give her what she wanted in the fight. I especially love the victory rockets and built in theme song.

Ambessa is so interesting. Between her character song to the introduction of just what she is fighting against, I am very intrigued. She reminds me of Cersei Lannister, except she loves her kids as more than just extensions of herself (as of what we've seen, but I think that'll stick). Her using Salo to establish herself-which also keeps Mel safe by distancing her-but also dropping him in order to prop up Cait at her first opportunity is such a clever move. She truly is the fox and the wolf, but she is above all a mama bear.

Not much to say about Heimerdinger or Ekko yet, but I am definitely curious to see what they do about the wild runes with Jayce. The three of them have a fun dynamic, what with Heimerdinger still being peeved about magic/being ousted, Ekko hating topside and having a new reason to do so with them poisoning his tree, and Jayce being recently seperated and divorced from both his partners.

Vi is an enforcer. I didn't know how they were gonna handle this, but they did it so well. Of course she wants to fix things for the people her sister hurt. She feels responsible. She can say she doesn't blame herself, but how true is that? Why else would she be wearing a badge if not for her guilt? She is desperate to do something right and being an enforcer seemed to be a way to make Cait happy, get her gauntlets (what she believes is necessary to make any kind of change), and be first in line in the hunt for Jinx. She says that her sister is dead, that Jinx is a desecration to Powder's memory, that they are not sisters but isn't it supposed to be 'nothing is going to change that'? How much of all this is just something Vi is telling herself to keep going? Cait is her motive right now, but after ep 3 I definitely see why she starts spiraling.

(2 Side note: Her new best friend/drinking buddy is such a real one. They have a bender in the gutter together and now he's following her into and out of the enforcers. I wonder if he knew Vander? In any case, he is a delight.)

Cait and Vi kissed... CAIT AND VI KISSED! Then NOTHING HAPPENED AFTER! NOTHING! No immediate break up, nope.

So Cait. I love Cait and I am hyped for her arc this season. I am ready to fight tooth and nail for her. I am a Caitlyn defender. So what she's being manipulated into leading a military state due to her grief/unresolved anger/guilt/Ambessa being better at this than her, she looks amazing in her cape. It balances.

Seriously though, the writing for Cait especially is so solid. She is desperate to hold herself and her family together, to protect her city. She still wants to protect the innocent, to heal the Undercity, but her anger at a select few of those she wants to help is clouding the greater image for her. Vi seems to be acting as her better half, the side that cares for the innocent-the protector. Ambessa is the agressor, encouraging Cait to take drastic military action against the Undercity as a whole. Vi's disillusionment with Cait is due to the fact that Cait desire to heal, not harm, is what caused her to fall for Cait to begin with. To see more than some privileged topside enforcer, but a woman who genuinely cared and was willing to abandon her peaceful naivety to learn for the greater good of strangers.

I'll also point out that they separate when Cait starts blaming Vi for them loosing Jinx. Before, everyone but Cait put responsibility on Vi, she was supposed to be the one to help lighten the load and absolve some of the guilt. Now Cait is becoming another one of those who slam the blame on Vi. She changed. Why does everyone around VI change?

Can't wait for the next batch of episodes.

[wayfayrr]

it's been declared that my blog is the go-to, to post the drunken late-night (for me anyway) crack fics

anyway this spiraled at 4am on a very long lasting discord call and both myself and @angry-trashcan wrote it in about an hour, it's catboy wild and wars with reader in their home <3 enjoy!

“Wild please for the love of everything holy, get down from the counter top.”  He didn’t listen, instead sitting himself down on top of the stove next. “One day, and one day soon, that thing will be on and burn your bottom. And I will laugh.”

“Not when you’re the one facing the bills.”

“Link.”

“Yes, my partner in crime?”

He’s not moving any time soon unless I do something, and it’s not like I don’t already know he’s incredibly light. Lifting him up so that he can wrap his legs and arms around me is easy enough. 

“See? Isn’t that so much better already?”

 “Better for you and your wallet maybe-”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” He laughed, a hand to the back of his head, ears twitching wildly.

I looked at him for a hard moment, eyes running over his face. “Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes playfully, turning back to the stove. “I’m gonna make dinner. Can you go get Wars and tell him it’ll be done quickly so hurry it up.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Hmm? But I thought you didn’t like me holding you?”

His grip got a little tighter at that, his head nuzzling into the crook of my neck like he’s trying to get as close as possible and succeeding. 

“When did I say that?”

“Well with your little comment about my wallet?”

“You know what I meant.”

The way he ended that with a small nip at my collarbone is proof enough of his words.

His feet hit the floor and he turned towards the living room to go get Wars. At least, I thought he was. The loud scream of the other boy’s name startled me, getting a scream of my own to carry through the house. 

“Wild!”

His shoulders rose to his ears, face bright red as he slowly turned back to face you. “...yes?”

“I asked you to go get him not shout for him, I could’ve done that from here.”

Not even words, just a redfaced pout as he turned to run off to go and wake him up from his very likely nap. Then seconds later he simply comes back out of breath and makes grabby hands at me to pick him back up. Not that I can say no, but he’s gotta start learning better manners. 

“You’re spoiled rotten I hope you know that.”

He hums out a happy noise as I pick him up to let him wrap his legs around my waist once again. “You better be helping me with dinner if you’re going to hang off of me like this.”

“Why would I do that?”

I rolled my eyes again, glancing over to see Wars coming into the kitchen. “Dinner will be done soon. Would be quicker if someone would let me cook.”

A gasp. “I am your moral support! You wouldn’t be able to make dinner without me!”

“I wouldn’t be able to make a dinner without hair in it, maybe.”

“I think you know full well that I could.”

“Mmh… full well you could what?”

Oh he really was asleep then, and now he’s winding his arms around me where wild isn’t clinging onto me. Great, I’ve got even less movement to cook properly now. The feeling of his purrs as his head is on my shoulder is nice though.

“Wars please, not you too.”

“Do you really not like it love?”

“I didn’t say that, did I?”

“I kinda sounded like it.”

“Wild, not you too.” I sighed, reaching down to turn off the stove. “Fine, let's order take out. Come on now, to the couch.”

Wild practically leapt off of you, rushing to get the best spot on the couch before Wars could. 

“Can we get seafood?” Wars mumbles.

“Would I dare try to feed either of you anything else?”

“I don’t know, I’d like to try some of that fancy wagyu sometime.”

“Wild.”

“Yes?”

“No.”

[laura1633]

Laura, we need a fic based on that comment (Max can suck lec‘s d).

Like someone showing one of them this comment and Max/Charles then goes slightly insane over it and can’t stop thinking about it or something like that.

No, seriously I would love if you’d be up to write this 😍

Haha, love it anon 😂 I was going to write a very quick drabble about it because I have so many one shots lined up that I wouldn't have time for more but it turned out to be almost 2000 words somehow.

-

“George probably argued the wall turned in on him” Daniel cackles as George reads out the tweet, to the Brit’s credit he is still smiling but he doesn’t look particularly pleased. 

“Whose idea was this again?!” Alex tries not to laugh but some of the online comments have been pretty on the nose so far. 

“Mine” Max grins, “It is best not to take these things too seriously” the Dutchman takes another swig from his gin and tonic and reclines back in his seat as the group take turns reading out mean, rude or just downright hilarious comments about themselves. 

“Then I think it’s your turn again” Daniel grabs his phone, “I found a great one, a whole account that seems to have been set up just to let everyone know what a douchebag you are. Their words not mine” 

“I think you’ll find there are a lot of those accounts” Max laughs as he takes the phone from Daniel and reads the comments the Aussie has found. 

“Max better get used to looking at Charles’ rear end this year. Charles WDC incoming” Max snorts as he reads it. 

“Is that so funny?” Charles frowns.

“No” Max hums, “But as much as I would love to spend the year looking at your “rear end” I unfortunately will be a few tenths ahead by the end of the first lap” Max grins

“Few tenths” Charles rolls his eyes. 

“Oh here” Max starts laughing again, “Max can suck Leclerc’s D, I am gonna assume they mean dick” 

Charles almost chokes on his drink. 

“I’d make quick work of that too” Max says with a ridiculously huge grin on his face, “Get you off a few tenths quicker than anyone else can” 

Charles’ face heats up, red spreading all the way to the tips of his ears. 

“What?” Max glances at the mixture of expressions around the table, from shocked to confused to laughing hilariously and then to Charles who looks - well a little like he is going to pass out, “You all think I don’t know how to suck dick? Look at these lips”

Max pouts, pushing his lips together to make them look plumper, as if that is necessary. Charles tries not to look but he can’t help himself, they do look like they belong around a dick. Fat and juicy and nice and pink. Charles shuffles in his seat and tries not to think about it because he’s starting to feel his cock straining in his boxers and he is absolutely not walking out of here with a hard on about Max dropping to his knees. 

The thought doesn’t leave him though. Not when the conversation moves on. Not when he’s making his way back to the hotel. Not when he’s sitting in bed and pulling up videos of the Dutchman. He tells himself it is research, which would be far more truthful if he was watching race replays rather than interviews. He ends up down a rabbit hole, once he has watched one tiktok edit dedicated to Max’s mouth his phone knows that he needs more. More and more and more until he’s found a slow motion shot zeroed in on those lips. 

And fuck, they really are blow job lips.

If Charles were a more sensible person he would just jerk off to the video. He’s not sensible though and he’s not content with coming over his own hand. Which is why he finds himself pacing up and down outside Max’s hotel room door before knocking and fighting off the urge to run away. 

“You need something?” 

Charles’ brain short circuits because Max is stripped down to a tight pair of boxer briefs, unsurprising really given it is 4am and Charles knows full well he has gotten the Dutchman up out of bed. 

“Charles?” Max’s voice is all rough and raspy, his hair all over the place. 

“You would not get me off faster than anyone else” Charles mumbles, it is the single worst chat up line he has ever used. He thinks it might be the worst chat up line anyone has ever used. He’s not even sure if it is a chat up line. Max’s eyes light up though and there’s a wicked grin on his face as he welcomes the Monegasque into his hotel room. 

“Sorry Charles” Max flicks on the light in the room, “You might have to repeat that for me” 

“I just - , what you said earlier. You are not an expert at everything you know” Charles isn’t sure what he is really doing, riling Max up was the plan but it seems silly now. 

“I never said I was” Max is wetting his lips with his tongue, “Just a few things - racing and sucking dick I guess” 

Charles tries to catch the whimper before it leaves his mouth but it fights its way out anyway. 

“I don’t believe you” Charles chokes out. He does believe it though. For some reason he fully believes it when Max says he’s good at sucking dick. Which is crazy really because until a few hours ago he’d always thought Max was straight. Then again he still considers himself straight and yet he’s in the Dutchman’s hotel room trying to goad him down on to his knees. 

“Charles” Max laughs faintly, “I am not going to suck your dick just to prove that I am telling the truth. If you want something you should ask nicely”

Charles feels his knees buckle, at this rate he’s going to be the only one dropping to the floor. Max is looking at him, his gaze unwavering, his stupid perfect dick sucking lips right there all wet and shiny now he’s run his tongue across them obscenely. 

“So Charles, is there something you would like to ask me?”

Charles’ skin burns under the embarrassment, “Max “ is all he manages to get out before his throat and mouth dry out. 

“It’s not quite time for you to moan my name, that comes later” Max smiles as he closes the space between them, “I am going to need you to ask for what you want Charles” 

Charles isn’t sure when Max became this -, this - 

Hot. 

Fuck Charles realises he might need to rethink everything he knows about himself because he’s always liked to be in control but right now his body is vibrating at the thought of Max making him beg for it. 

“I want you to do it” Charles mumbles quietly, his gaze flicking between Max’s mouth and his body. He’s all nice and broad and muscular, Charles has never quite appreciated that so much before. 

“Do what? You want me to do what for you?” Max steps closer again until his breath is warm as it fans over Charles’ lips.  

“I want you to suck my dick” Charles breathes out unsteadily but keeps his head held high. 

“See, that was not so hard was it” Max smiles, “Unlike this” Max palms over Charles’ cock making the Monegasque’s hips buck forward.

Charles wants to come up with some clever little retort but he can’t because Max is already sinking down to his knees and he’s fucking maintaining eye contact whilst he does it. The Dutchman eases Charles joggers and pants down in one go and licks right across his lips again. 

And Charles thinks he might either have heart failure or burst into flames. Either way he thinks this might be what kills him - the sight of Max on his knees looking so fucking confident. 

“Nice” Max hums. 

Charles isn’t even sure if that is a compliment. Nice. It sounds rather - bland. 

“Very nice. I always thought you would be big but you are even bigger than I thought you would be” Max muses as he runs his thumb right over the head of Charles' cock and collects up some of the pre-come. Charles makes a strange gargled sound but isn’t quite sure what is turning him on more -  the thought that Max has even given his dick any sort of passing consideration or the fact the Dutchman is now sucking the pre-come from his thumb like a fucking porn star. 

“I can still take you all though” Max looks up and gives Charles a filthy look. The Monegasque goes to say something but the second he opens his mouth Max slides his lips right around his cock and he’s left throwing his head back and moaning Max’s name like a fucking man possessed. 

Max seems intent on making him come as soon as possible. His mouth warm and wet and working further down Charles’ cock each time he bobs his head. The Monegasque is strangely aware of his own arms just dangling down by his sides and tentatively reaches out and tangles his fingers into Max’s hair. The Dutchman doesn’t need any guiding though, he’s doing pretty well all by himself. 

And for once Charles is glad Max was not all talk. 

The Dutch driver switches it up a little, runs his tongue up the underside of Charles’ cock before giving the head a little attention, sucking and kissing and making patterns with his tongue. Everything sounds wet. Looks wet. There’s saliva and pre-come dripping from the sides of Max’s mouth. He certainly seems to know what he is doing though. As he goes back in Charles gasps as he feels his cock hit the back of Max’s throat. Max makes the faintest gagging sound but pushes down even further until his nose is almost buried against the soft hairs around Charles’ cock. 

It’s at that exact moment that Max looks up again, his eyes a little watery but dark and intense and Charles feels his whole body clenching as it really hits home that Max is sucking his dick. Happily sucking his dick. Sucking his dick with as much passion and skill as he seems to apply to everything else. 

And it’s too much - 

Charles comes without any sort of warning and just hopes that Max is cool with swallowing because his come is most likely already flowing down the Dutchman’s throat as he bucks forward and tightens his grip in Max’s hair to hold him steady. 

Charles feels his legs go to jelly beneath him as Max pulls off slowly, the Dutchman’s lips still clasped tight as he moves. There’s even more saliva now, Max seems to have swallowed down most of the come though, not that Charles really gave him much choice. He would apologise but Max looks far from bothered. 

“Pretty quick” Max smiles, “I mean that as a compliment” the Dutchman laughs, “You are sensitive, are you that sensitive when you fuck?” 

“No” Charles huffs out a little breathless, he’s not normally quite so sensitive but he’s also not used to guys sucking him off and its - 

Well the results speak for themselves. 

“Cool” Max nods and gets to his feet and clambers into bed, “If you want to stick around until morning maybe we can test that out”

“Test. Out” Charles repeats the words like they are completely alien to him. His brain is still fuzzy and floaty and Max is laid out on the bed in front of him like this whole thing is the most natural set up in the whole world. 

“Yeah” Max shrugs, “I am excellent at sucking dicks but I’m world champion level when it comes to riding them” The Dutchman laughs and flicks the lights off in the room which is just as well because Charles’ face is  cherry red as he tentatively climbs into bed next to Max ready for the morning. 

[justmeinadaze]

Pushing the Barrier Part 2 (Eddie X Reader)

A/N: A present for my fellow insomniacs <3. It is currently 4am and I couldn't sleep so I worked on this. Thank you guys again for all the kind words. I hope you enjoy part 2. I DO have ideas for a continuation so if you're still down so am I :)

Warnings: Stripper Eddie, unprotected sex for sure (be safe my angels), readers husband is an asshole but fluffy Eddie got her.

Word count: 3907

Tuesday night you find yourself home alone staring at the tv as you flip through the channels. You sigh before giving up, pressing the off switch, and throwing the remote against the couch. The phone startles you as its ring echoes through the empty apartment. It’s too late to be anyone else so you allow it to go to voicemail. 

*beep* “Hey honey. It’s me. I just wanted to let you know I probably won’t be home anytime soon. I swear I need a vacation! Hahaha but I wanted to tell you I love you and don’t wait up!”

You huff as you grab your coat and stomp out the front door.

################

“Haven’t I seen you already? Why are you keeping this thing on?”, Eddie gestures towards the glass. 

“I thought maybe you would want more time to gaze at your own reflection.”

Your laugh makes him smile. “Fair point but I’d rather spend my time looking at you.” You pull on your bottom lip with your teeth as the heat rises into to your cheeks. 

Tonight, Eddie had a bit more clothes on than usual when he was in his confinement. He was wearing his torn up blue jeans with his leather jacket over his bare chest. His guitar was on his lap but he had stopped playing when he heard your voice. He still looked as handsome as ever. 

“So, what brings you down here, Princess? Were you not going to come tomorrow?” His confident smile faltered slightly.

“My husbands at work again…” Eddie nods as his fingers strum the strings in front of him. “Hey. Why does that sound familiar?” 

He chuckles as gets up with his guitar and heads for the front of his area. Eddie knocks his knuckles against the glass and you respond as his smile widens and he takes a seat in front of the sound. His fingers move across the strings again as his soft voice carries through the room.  “Well, just look at that girl with the lights coming up in her eyes She's got to be somebody's baby She must be somebody's baby”

You sigh as you listen to him. If this is what he sounds like now you can only imagine what he’ll sound like in person. 

“She's probably somebody's only light Gonna shine tonight Yeah, she's probably somebody's baby, alright”

That lonely ache started to tug at your heart. You did belong to someone else but he never seemed to care. He didn’t appreciate you or treat you like you deserved to be treated. When you left here tonight you were going to be going home to an empty bed and that thought killed you. Eddie closed his eyes as he continued to sing and you coyly reached out to flick the switch to your right.  “I try to shut my eyes, but I can't get her out of my sight I know I'm gonna know her, but I gotta get over my fright Well, I'm just gonna walk up to her, I'm gonna talk to her tonight”

When he opened the again, he was met with your gorgeous smiling face. “That was good. I like the way you sing it. Your voice is beautiful.” His eyes drink you in from head to toe, making you feel a bit self-conscious. “I’m sorry I didn’t dress up or anything. I swear I’ll look nicer tomorrow.”

Eddie’s eyes lit up at the word “tomorrow”. “Why are you apologizing? I think you look absolutely breath taking.”

 “Please. I’m basically in my pjs.” You do a little twirl so he can see. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sweetheart, I told you. You can ask me anything.”

“Do you only wear this when you’re in there?”, you point at his clothes. 

“Kind of. I mean, I start my shift in basically what I wear out in the real world. The wardrobe decreases as the night goes on. I’m sure it’s different for the ladies here.”

“Soooo what were you doing before me that got you in just the leather jacket and jeans?”

“Well, I put the jacket on before you came in because I’m cold.”, Eddie laughs before his eyes search yours cautiously. “Are you sure this is something you want to know?”

When you nod, he continues. “The person before you was a guy. An older man I’m assuming by the sound of his voice. He said tattoos are a turn on for him which was awkward since his religion forbids getting them.” You took note of him as he spoke. How his tone and body language changed when he talked about his client. Eddie sounded almost matter of fact as if this was just something that happens. 

“We just talked but I assume by the occasional grunting there was more happening on his side of the glass then mine.” He chuckles again as he reaches forward to knock on the cube. 

“How did you fall into this line of work?”

“Need mostly.”, he sighs. “I was working 2 jobs trying to pay my rent which sucks because it made it harder for me to make gigs to play with my band.”

“I can understand that. Everything is so expensive here especially rent.”

“What about you, Princess? What do you do?”

“I’m a teacher.”

He beams over at you. “Aw, that’s nice. And the husband?”

“Good lord. Um, honestly, I’m not sure. His position carries a long title of something VP.”, you giggle. “It’s something with numbers I know that. Every time he explains it to me, I zone out. I just know it keeps him busy.” You fold your arms across your chest as you lean your side against the glass.

“I wish I could hug you.” Eddie growls as the lights above you both flash twice. “I never feel like we have enough time.”

“Time’s up, Honey!”, Mira’s voice seeps through. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” The eyes that meet yours are filled with hope. 

You smile at him as you kiss the tips of your fingers and place them against the barrier. 

####################

“What do you mean you’re going out?” Your husband follows you around the apartment as you get ready for the evening. 

“I’m. Going. Out.” You head into the bathroom and double check your outfit. You didn’t want to seem too eager but you also wanted to look nice. The simple black short sleeve shirt you decided on was just tight enough to expose all your curves along with your blue jeans and leather-bound boots. Every time you had seen Eddie your hair was pulled up so tonight you thought you would let it flow around your shoulders. 

“Where are you going?”

“Jesus! Out with some friends. Is that a problem?!”

“No. It’s just the one night I’m actually fucking home.”

“Look, my schedule doesn’t revolve around you. I spend half my time alone up here anyway. Maybe, now you can see what it feels like.”

“Can you at least fucking change? You look like a whore.”

You pause halfway to the front door, turning to face him. “You…are a fucking asshole.”

“Why am I an asshole? Because I tell you the truth?”

“Fuck you!”, you grab your purse as you slam the door.

#################

When you arrive at the bar, you see Eddie with his band on stage making sure everything looks good and the instruments are in tune. His smile shoots straight to your heart when sees you. He jumps off the stage, jogging over to you. 

“Hey! You’re here. Goddamn you look gorgeous.” You grin up at him but when he looks in your eyes, he can tell somethings wrong. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Go get ready!”, you gently try and push him away but his feet remained planted in their place. 

Eddie reaches for your hand, guiding you up the stage and behind the curtain. Feeling him touch you sent tingles through your body. Every time his skin connected with yours in anyway it made it feel alive. 

“What happened?”

“My husband decided to pick a fight with me before I left.”

“What did he say?”

You fold your arms, looking away from his intense gaze. “He said I looked like a whore.”

Eddie exhaled an angry sigh. “Fucking dick.” His fingers reach out, grabbing your arms as he pulled them apart and away from your chest. “I think you look fantastic.” You finally look up at him, meeting his eyes. “Believe me. I would know what whores dress like.”

You giggled and his smile grew.

“Eddie, dude. We’re on in five.”, one of his bandmates passed him, patting him on the shoulder. 

“Yeah, okay.” His palm comes up to rest against your cheek. “I told you. Never enough time.”

####################

Corroded Coffin was the first band to play and they did amazingly well. You could watch Eddie on stage all night long. Everything about him from his eyes to his hands moved differently than when he was behind that glass wall. He seemed genuinely at peace as if that’s where he belonged. His soft brown eyes would occasionally glance at you, making sure you were having a good time and enjoying the music. 

Your smile never left as you banged your head lightly to the rhythm. When they finished their set Eddie winked at you, holding up his index finger silently asking you to wait one moment while moved their instruments off the stage. 

“Hey! So, what did you think?”, he asked when he finally reappeared. 

“I love it. You guys were so good!”

“Why, thank you. I was thinkin’ we could go eat at that restaurant down the way. I mean, only if you want to.”, Eddie smiles at you nervously.

It was both adorable and refreshing to see him be nervous around you. When you two talked in the room he always displayed such confidence. To see him let that wall down and for you just made those butterflies flutter wildly in your tummy. 

You walked with him to the Chinese restaurant and shared a delicious meal together. He asked you a ton of questions about yourself. It felt nice to have someone care about you and what you had to say. You tried to do the same but you noticed pretty quickly with a lot of questions you asked he either gave you short, clipped answers or just insisted you didn’t want to hear any of that.

“I don’t want to push you. I do want to hear anything you feel like telling me. No matter what it is.”

“Naw Sweetheart, trust me. My life isn’t…It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows.”

“Neither has mine. I mean…”

“Ah, see? You don’t want to tell me, do you?”, Eddie chuckles playfully as he runs his hand through his hair. 

You look down at your hands as you speak. “I don’t want to make you feel bad.”

“I don’t understand.”

“A lot of my storms come from my husband.”, you whisper. 

His fingers reach out for your chin, lifting your face to his as his lips tenderly meet yours. The kiss starts small at first, steadily growing as his confidence does. You pull away to catch your breath. 

“Do you want to come back to my apartment?”, Eddie asks with a tone filled with need.

When you nod, he quickly throws money on the table, grabbing your hand, and pulling you outside to hail a cab. 

#################

You and Eddie wait silently outside the elevator of his apartment building. When the door dings open, he gestures for you to enter first. Before it can close, you hear loud cackling as a group of people pile into the elevator with you guys. You back into Eddie’s chest as he backs up towards the corner. The door finally shuts and you’re on your way up. 

Closing your eyes, a sigh leaves your lips as you feel Eddie’s hands wrap around your waist pulling you closer to him. His warm breath hits the back of your shoulder as his nose nuzzles into your neck. 

The elevator shutters open as the group in front of you piles out. You can still hear their laughter as the door close again and the elevator moves once more. Eddie’s palm glides under your top and the feel him touching your skin shoots shivers through your body. He trails gentle kisses along your neck as you reach behind you to tangle your fingers through his hair. 

You whine as the elevator stops again and Eddie releases your waist to take your hand, guiding you to his apartment. 

He watches you as your head moves from side to side, taking everything in. It was a modest studio style apartment with brick style walls. There were posters all over the place of different hair metal bands displayed with concert tickets pinned to the corners. You giggle in front of one that is just the poster by itself. 

“Are you trying to tell me you haven’t gone to see Def Leopard yet?”

Eddie slides up next to you, playfully smacking your hand that’s pointing at the frame. “Hey, ok, look. I haven’t really had time or money to go see them yet.” 

While you continue looking around, he removes his jacket and throws it on to the couch behind him. You pause by his bed, grabbing a picture frame off the bedside table. 

“Aw. Look at you. Are these your friends?”

He comes up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder as he points to the people in the photograph. “Yup. These are my friends from high school. Steve, his girlfriend Nancy, Robin, and this little butthead is Dustin.”

“Are they here in the city?”

“No, they are back home.”

“Where is home?”

Eddie grabs the picture out of your hand, leaning over you to place it back on the table. When his arm comes back, his hand stops to grab your cheek and bring your lips to his. He lifts you up by your waist and places you down on his bed. 

“Indiana. Hawkins.”

His hair tickles your face as he leans his head forward to pull off his shirt. 

“Is that where your family is to?”

Eddie’s lips come down to meet yours as his hands roam your body. You reach down lifting off your own shirt, throwing it to the floor. You moan as his mouth leaves you to trace down your neck. He hovers over your stomach as his tongue darts out to lick your skin. 

He sits up, grabbing your feet as he takes off your boots and throws them to the ground. Leaning over you, he reaches to unbutton your jeans and you raise your hips as you help him pull them and your panties off your body. When you remove your bra, he breathes a heavy sigh as his eyes take you in. 

“Fuck. I’ve never seen anyone so beautiful before.” Eddie lays down, placing himself between your legs, spreading them wider with his palms on your thighs. “Do you know how long I’ve thought about this? Since I heard your voice.”

His fingers dipped between your folds, spreading them into a V shape. Just this feeling alone, the feeling of his fingers touching you and his breath hitting your core was enough to drive you wild. You felt your pussy clench around nothing. 

“Eddie, please.”

“Then I heard you moaning while you were touching yourself. I desperately wanted to know what you tasted like.” Your body shuttered as his tongue licked a long stripe from the bottom of your cunt up to your clit. His cheek fell against your thigh. “Oh my god. You’re so fucking sweet.”

His head leaned in as his mouth began devouring you. You whimpered as his tongue reached deep inside of you. Eddie’s hand came up to rest on your mound as his thumb pressed against your throbbing clit moving in quick circles causing you to squirm against his hold. 

You cried out when you felt his head suddenly move away from you. “I know, Princess. I just need to…” He reaches for your hand and places it between your legs. “Keep going for me.” Eddie moans when he sees you nod and slide two of your fingers into your dripping hole.

He stands up, quickly removing his jeans and boxers. You move your hand faster into your body at the sight of his hard cock, licking your tongue across your lips. When he sits back down on the bed, you sit up, and scoot your body down to meet his. Leaning your face over his lap, you spit on his tip, running your hand over it and down his length. Eddie growls as you groan, crashing your lips sloppily to his. 

He reaches between your legs, rapidly shoving his fingers into you. Your kisses turn into pants as you moan into his mouth. His eyes open, watching your face contort with pleasure as the coil in your stomach snaps and your head falls onto his shoulder as his fingers continue to pump into you. 

You lazily reach up with your hand to cup his cheek. “Fuck me. Please.”

“There are condoms in the drawer behind you.”, he whispers against your lips. “Can you grab—”

You cover his mouth with your fingertips. “I’m on the pill. Please, Eddie. I need to feel you.”

His forehead leans on yours as his cock twitches at the needy tone of your voice. “Do you trust me? I’ve been tested I swear. I’m clean.”

“Eddie,” your arms wrap around his neck. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you. Fuck. Me.”

He abruptly lifts you up and pushes you back against the bed. Your legs encircle his waist as his hand guides his dick to your entrance. Your eyes roll back as he slowly pushes himself into you. 

“Oh my god.”, you moan as his head falls beside your own. “Eddie, you feel so fucking good.”

His head gently turns and you feel his lips against your ear. “Do you remember when I was stroking my cock in front of you in the cube?” The English language seems to escape you when you feel him bottom out inside of you. “Tell me, baby. Do you remember?”

You nod as you drag your nails down his back. “I told you I was imagining my dick inside of you. Inside of your tight pussy.” The sound of him whimpering in your ear as he began thrusting his hips made your cunt flutter around him. “Fuck! This is so much better. Feeling your pussy stretch open for me.”

Eddie pumped into you harder, making your brain go fuzzy. He lifted his head to look down at your face. Your eyes were squeezed shut and your mouth was open as you breathed out moans. Every time his hips smacked yours, your eyebrows came together and your hands gripped harder to his shoulders. 

His mouth hovered over yours and he relished the feeling of your moans against his lips. “Are you almost there?” The tip of Eddie’s nose grazed yours, urging you to answer. “Tell me, Sweetheart. Are you about to cum?”

You lick your lips as your nod. His head falls to your side again. “Can you say it for me, please?” Eddie reaches his hand down to hold up your leg as he slides his cock all the way out and pushes it roughly back in.

“Fuck! Yes! I’m going to cum. Please, Eddie!”

He repeats his motions a couple more times before his hand releases you and he thrusts into you with aggressive purpose. The coil that had been steadily winding snapped for a second time and Eddie groaned as he felt your pussy cling around him as you came. His rhythm slowed as he felt you come down from that ledge. 

Your arms wrapped around his neck as your hand brushed his hair to the side. “Cum for me, baby. I want to feel you cum inside of me.” He whimpered against you as he started thrusting into you again as you continued to whisper to him. “Please, Eddie. You feel so good. You made me cum. I want you to cum to.”

His hips slowed as they sputtered and he grunted into your ear as he came inside of you. Eddie laid still on top of you as he panted into your neck. You held him to you, continuing to run your fingers through his hair. 

After a while, he rolled himself off you, disappearing into a room and coming back with a washrag. Eddie was silent as he reached between your legs and delicately cleaned you before throwing the rag into the pile of his clothes on the floor. You expected him to come lay back down but he didn’t. He remained at the edge of the bed staring off into the void. 

It broke your heart. Eddie’s face looked like it did when he was searching for you behind the glass in that room. When he was searching for a voice but was only met with himself. 

“Eddie?” You crawled over to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

He turns towards you with a smile but when he spoke his voice didn’t match his face. “I know you have to leave now. Just, uh, give me a minute and I’ll walk you down.”

“Eddie, wait.” You reach to pull him back down when he tries to stand up. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Of course I don’t but… I know your husband is probably waiting for you. Shit. I know I would be if you were my wife.” His smiles slants when he finally meets your eyes. 

“I don’t have to go home yet. I’ll bet you anything my husband isn’t even there. After I leave you at the club or whatever the fuck that place is I always come home to an empty apartment. When I wake up in the morning, he isn’t there.” You feel the anger in your chest start to rise as you fend off frustrated tears. 

“So, Eddie, if you want me to leave than I will go but I assure you no one is waiting for me.”

“I don’t want you to go.” 

You reach below you and pull his covers over your body as you lay back down on your side. The mattress shifts as crawls up the bed and gets under them beside you. One of his arms slides under the pillow holding your head as the other wraps around you, pressing you against his chest. 

“I’m waiting for you. When I’m at work I think about you all day, praying your voice is the next voice I hear. Today I was nervous you wouldn’t come to my gig. I kept glancing around the bar hoping you’d appear.” His lips tenderly kiss your shoulder. “I just can’t understand how any man especially the one who has you doesn’t get how lucky he is.”

You lean your neck down to kiss the hand that’s griping yours. You were afraid to turn around and face him, knowing there was more to wait he was saying. I’m waiting for you. You knew he would always be waiting as long as you were with your husband. Your mind started to race as you laid there in his arms. 

Maybe I should have left…

##############

@munsonsuccubus @samunson83

@tayhar811 @bibieddiesgf

@maximus2354 @nevermore66 @ajkamins

@dollalicia @secretdryrose @staandupanndscream

[isalisewrites]

A ramble on writing where April broke my heart

Hooo boi.

March was a dream in comparison to April.

Emergency gallbladder surgery? Someone faking their death in my server? Good times. I wanna go back.

I have been through much in three short months. April has shown that it's taken a toll. I have missed many more days of writing. I'm still missing them in May. But I'm slowly gripping onto the last vestiges of my raw determination, all while in the face of so much.

I had a falling out with my closest family member that shook me to the core of my heart. I barely slept for most of the month again. Gallbladder surgery has proven to have some complications on my nervous system, making normal daily life difficult where it's hard to sit or lie down without experiencing full body numbness and tingling in various areas, including my hands and fingers. (No, not blood clots. 100% without a doubt it's my nerves.)

If you've followed me here (post one and two) and have read my author's on Terrible, But Great Chapter 30, then you know what went down with my family member. It took so much of my time and energy. I wrote well over 8,000 words trying to reason with this family member, only for all of it to be scorned and mocked. A part of me feels like that energy was wasted. I could have 8,000 more words in TBG, but I don't. This is all I have.

A part of me looks at it and says, "Give it back. Give me back my writing." What happened to January? Or even February? What happened to the girl who could wake up at 4am in the morning, an hour before she had to leave for her hysteroscopy, to power write 700 words?

Some days, I go up the stairs and I'm winded like I ran a marathon.

Some days, if I walk on the treadmill for more than 6 to 10 minutes, I feel like I'm dying.

It's been an uphill battle. The struggle is real, but so am I.

In the last week of December of 2023, when I realized how long it would take me to finish Terrible, But Great, I was overcome with what I call 'The Stirring.' I don't know what else to call it, but it always has an air of mystery and premonition for what it is to come. I thought at that time, "If I had limited time to live, what do I want to do?"

"I want to write."

So, I did.

In 2023, I published a total of 43,000 words in TBG. In 2024, from January to April, I've written 110,604 words and have published 35,000 words thus far. The year isn't even halfway over and I've done better this year than I have last year.

In spite of it all, I'm doing pretty damn good.

There's still hope. I'm not giving up. It might feel like morale is low, but it's not. I'm going to keep going as much as I can through all the hardships because writing is truly the one thing that breathes life into me.

By the end of April, I finished my business class with an essay about how the class shifted my beliefs. This class in combination with all of my health issues and social conflicts sparked an overwhelming revelation and a new rising determination within my soul.

You see, you all have witnessed my love and passion for writing Terrible, But Great, a Harry Potter fanfiction, but I also have original stories that I've wanted to write. Yet, I haven't been able to finish them because I'm always thinking about the market in the real world, instead of what I want and what the story wants. Fanfiction, I can do whatever the hell I want and yall are just gonna have to strap in and hold onto dear life cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride. Original novels, however, are done differently and I've often struggled due to so many factors.

I have ADHD. I am autistic. I have health issues which are rapidly piling up on top of each other. My career choice might not even be feasible for me in the long run, so why I am allowing myself to be pressured into doing more than I can handle with a class load?

I want to write. I want to write. I want to create.

Oh, how I want to create.

So, I will.

Two years ago, I gave up on my dream of writing original novels and earning a living through them. I've since repented of that notion. As I continue write Terrible, But Great, I'm also going to be working on my original novels on the side. Someday, perhaps, I'll be able to earn a living as a published author.

That's my realistic ideal.

I wrote 457 words today, May 9th. That's good enough. The goal this month is to write more than April. I can do that. On the days where prose is hard, I simply write my scene idea in a zero draft style. I don't worry about the prose; I'll fix it later. Every word counts. Every word can be changed. Every word can be made better.

Every word is good enough.

Until next month.

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

okay so apparently the post i made at 4am last night about the denholm family legacy and corresponding mental health implications blew up and now i'm receiving all sorts of screaming (/pos) in the tags. on a Related note, i've been brainrotting about p!scott's character intro sequence so much and now i Need to yell about all this somewhere or i'm gonna cry.

"Okay (×7), what do I need? Big day. BIG day. Okay. Okay, um, let's get the spyglass Dad got me and… Mum got me the new journal [to] write down all my discoveries."

the fact that the journal p!scott was using as a diary was meant for THIS. THIS was what it was meant to be used for. i would just like to point this out to y'all.

the EXPECTATIONS from the very start. good god it's so offhand of a comment but i am Stuck here. the Expectation of following in your family's footsteps. it's not just "do what We did" but also "do what you are Supposed to do".

"What else do I need? Ehm… outfit, check… oh, food! Um, Mum said… there we go, she'd made me five mutton wraps, okay, this will- I'm a little bit hungry… no, I shouldn't, I gotta save this; this has got to do me for a while until I can, like, find my own things. Ehm, what else do I need to take? It's Initiation Day, so everything starts here."

i don't have much of a comment on this. i really don't. only thing i can probably say is my headcanon of p!scott learning to cook from his mother.

"Um… the sword. Right. This is a family heirloom; it's served all the other Herons well, it'll serve me well, I'll definitely- I'm gonna discover so many things, I'm gonna make everyone proud, just like I was… born to do. Just like I was meant to do, 'cause I'm a Heron and that's- it's all I've ever been, and it's all I'm… was ever gonna be."

god the RESIGNATION. just. the resignation of having so much pressure put on you that it can crush rocks without using a machine. there's no way out of Being in the heron faction and doing what herons are Supposed to do. we see in the vods it's not that you Don't enjoy exploring and discovering things, but Man, would you prefer to do it on your own terms?

(what was going through your head when your brother turned up on the isles again, after you thought star dead and mourned star for a year? when star decided to join a Different faction from you and go against all you both have been taught?)

(you called the nightingales stars "new family" during the dipper quest. it's undeniable that you still love your brother and we all know that, but do you feel abandoned in that star has left you to join a new faction and have stars own life? do you feel that being in different factions means you Shouldn't have a place in stars life anymore, though you refuse to let your actions show it? do you envy star for having escaped the toxic environment where you both grew up in? that while you were born and saddled with all the expectations, star shouldn't have had to worry as much because your parents put all their eggs in a single basket, i.e. you?)

and the sword. the sword being a physical Reminder of all the baggage that comes with being raised by Internationally Famous parents who Expect you to do the same or risk their disappointment… something you either can't imagine or would rather not imagine?

"Ehm, hm… well, I'm- I guess this is everything. (sigh) Here we go. It's the life I always wanted, or at least, the life that I was given."

ohhhhh god the implication of being told this is the life you are Supposed to aspire to. and going along with it because you were raised to believe this is the life you Should have and internalizing it because you can barely even Imagine an alternative.

even when you ask yourself, "do you Really want to live like this?", do you hesitate to answer? it is just a yes/no question but does your answer Always have a "but" after it? because going against what you've been taught growing up is Not An Option For You, at least in your mind?

oh to think when someone asks, "how do you Live like this?", the response in your heart is "you don't." because in a toxic household, there is only survival and you Build Your Bed on surviving based on what you have been taught. because you can barely fathom a life where this Isn't the case.

"Alright, I'm gonna be late. Look out, world, Scott Denholm, #1 Heron, ready for action!"

this sounds like an assurance of confidence, yeah, but who Are you trying to convince? are you telling the world, or are you telling yourself? with all that you have already said, one might wonder which is truly the case.

(also, when cc!scott said that his character had "anxiety" from trying to live up to the expectations, was this supposed to mean "anxiety (emotion)" or "anxiety (disorder)"? because while the first one is very obvious, i would not be surprised if the second one happens to be the case as well.)

in summary: p!acho is a walking embodiment of trauma and drops it in Moments across many livestreams so you don't forget. p!scott is Also a walking embodiment of trauma but drops it in the first three minutes of the series and Never speaks of it again.

[the-s1lly-corner]

gender dysphoria comfort for afab reader x spot?? :p

Spot comforting an AFAB/trans reader

Rubs my autistic little hands (in a cool nonbinary way)

Not gonna specify if reader is a trans man/nonbinary or somewhere in between/else where so!!!

Heavy projection on my end because my dysphoria is kinda. Raging

But also idk how to comfort myself so this is gonna translate into spot bouncing around

It shows so bad that I!! Am bad at outright comfort <\3

Happy pride by the by! Not sure if I said that over here yet

YEEEAAAAAH 4am posting REAL

Right off the bat I wanna make it clear that this man would snag some stuff for you

Of course he does this in general, but hes more than willing to get you things that may help you express yourself

Clothes, are a big one! Need a new wardrobe? Hes already on it! Same applies to other things you may need

On the fence on if he would snag some hormones for you; since he doesnt wanna risk taking them from someone else

Actually ykw

Bros a scientist

Be can probably make his own solutions

Anyways onto the actual

Ask

Admittedly Spot is not the best at comforting others, so his go to is self projection; if that makes sense

Applies what he knows cheers him up to you?? Like venting and physical affection can help him get through rough patches, so he'll try to urge you to vent during a cuddle session

Reinforces that you look handsome; though hes down with calling you anything if that isnt your cup of tea

Hes a scientist, he does research! Listens to every word you say and sucks up any information regarding the topic he can find

Offers some tips on passing, if that's what you need

OOOOOH BRAIN BLAST

You guys have self care days together as is, but you guys tend to have them on days things get rough

Basic.. self care things. Low stress activities, you both go shopping (stealing) (hes wearing s shitty disguise), things like that

He toooootally doesnt target anyone who purposefully gets your pronouns or name wrong! What? What do you mean that rude person lost everything out of no where, y/n? He doesn't know what you're talking about, he doesn't know anything about anyone

Easily your biggest fan and supporter, your personal hypeman

Generally he let's you know that he loves you, and that regardless of how you present youre amazing and valid. He may not know the best way to comfort you all the time, but he's trying his best to hear you out and advocate for you! While he may not be the most... ferocious.. man out there, but he's quite vocal to anyone who dares try to tell you otherwise! Whether you present more feminine, masculine, or androgynous; he'll be right at your side

Also now that I think about it, if he got his hands on the material he'd definitely try to make a way to literally. Just change your sex right there to align with how you feel

If the dude can make a mini collider on his own he can probably make the transgenderinator

[parkerrogersgirl]

Birds of a Feather- Chapter 2

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: you're stationed at Top Gun with your brother's long time best friend/your forever crush, Bradley. When you finally realized that your feelings were unrequited, you settled for Adrian. But what happens when Rooster reveals the truth about the man you thought loved you endlessly?

A/N: HI GUYS! I'M BACK!! This is my new series because i am an absolute hoe for Rooster, so I'm gifting this to all of you. I will be coming back to Anything But Free as well, I just needed to get this out of my head. I promise I will try to make the other chapters longer!

Warnings: fluff, pining, cheating, language, angst

Word Count: 2,617

-------------

Rooster’s POV

Rooster hadn’t slept for more than an hour. When he finally did fall asleep around 4am, all he did was dream of you. By the time he woke, he had resolved that today, he would tell you everything. There was the possibility of losing you, sure. But even that was better than watching a cheating pig like Adrian use you over and over again. He got dressed into his running clothes so he could at least jog to your house to plan what he was going to say. As he stepped outside, locked his door, and began running, the intrusive thoughts returned.

There was no easy way to tell you that the man you’d loved for so long couldn’t care less about your feelings. The man you’d given so much, and from whom you’d received nothing in return. The man who broke your heart over and over again while Rooster picked up the pieces and put you back together. His brain was so full of thoughts and anxiety, he hadn’t even realized he was at your door.

Reader’s POV

As soon as you open your front door, Rooster envelopes you in one of his famous Bradshaw hugs. The moment his arms are around you, something inside you snaps and the dam breaks. You start sobbing, and Rooster picks you up and carries you to the kitchen. He sets you on the counter, staring at you.

“Are you- Do I smell biscuits and gravy?”

You laugh through your tears, “I made it for Adrian since it’s our anniversary but he won’t be home for breakfast. I was going to bring it to work for you.”

Rooster shakes his head, laughing with you, “you’re the best. And I will eat it later if you still want me to. But right now, I have to talk to you before I chicken out.”

He stands in front of you, taking your hands in his. “What I’m about to tell you is a big deal. If you never want to see me again because I’m the one telling you, I’m okay with that. I just couldn’t forgive myself if I let this go on any longer.”

You watch him cautiously, cocking an eyebrow, “Bradley, you’re freaking me out.”

He takes a deep breath and lets out in one breath, “Adrian is cheating on you.”

“He’s what?” You let out a nervous laugh, unsure of how else to react, “what are you talking about?”

“Like eight months ago, remember when you had pneumonia and you wouldn’t let anyone come over because you didn’t want them to get sick? You were upset because Adrian said he was working or some shit and he wouldn’t bring you soup. Well, he wasn’t sick. He was at the Hard Deck.”

Your heart sinks like it did earlier when you received Adrian’s text, “why would he lie to me about that? He could have just told me.”

“He lied because he didn’t want you to know he was there. He was there with another woman. I caught them fucking in the bathroom. He saw me and told me that you’d never believe me. And if you did, you would never trust me again because I ruined your relationship.”

You sit in silence for a few minutes, staring at your shoes and avoiding your best friend’s gaze. After a few minutes, he speaks up again.

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No.”

“Do you want to stay here?”

“Where else am I gonna go, Roo?” You finally make eye contact with him, his eyes pleading with yours.

“You can stay with me. I’ll help you move your stuff, we can carpool to work, it’ll be great.”

You feel warmth in your cheeks, but your smile falters almost immediately, “Why would he do this to me? Do I deserve this?”

Bradley wraps you in his arms again, kissing your forehead like he always does, “of course not, sweet girl. You only deserve happiness. He did this because he is spineless, and he doesn’t understand how wonderful you are. You are sunshine. When you walk in the room, everyone smiles. Adrian is selfish. You deserve someone who will take care of you.” Someone like me, his inner voice chimes in.

You take a deep breath to steel your nerves, “we should get ready for work.”

“I already called Mav and explained everything. We’re off the hook for today. He told me to take care of you. So, what do you want to do?”

“I think I need to leave him, Roo. I’m so tired. All this time he’s just been tolerating everything I do for him. I can’t do this anymore. This is the end.”

He squeezes you tightly one last time, “I’m gonna call a moving truck and have them come meet us here while we start packing your stuff. You’re gonna stay with me. It’s gonna be great.” Rooster picks up his phone and heads into the other room, making arrangements. You slowly slide off the counter and walk around the home you shared with the man you thought would be your endgame. You run your fingers along the walls, looking at the photos you’ve taken together. With Rooster’s bombshell, you’re noticing new details. How Adrian’s smile never really reached his eyes. How, on the few times he put his arm around you, it was possessive, like he was holding you in place. On the other end of the spectrum, there were photos where you were leaning on him, and he wasn’t returning the affection at all. He was simply supporting your weight.

When you reach your bedroom, you grab your suitcase set from under your bed. It was a gift from Adrian for your one-year anniversary when you’d made plans to go to Cabo together. A trip that had never happened because he’d “had to work.” Now, you wondered how many times he’d used that excuse on the phone with you with another woman’s tongue down his throat.

You went to your closet and started mindlessly packing your clothes into your suitcase, dissociating from the activity. Every so often, you find a t-shirt or hoodie of Adrian’s in the mix of your stuff, and you carefully fold it and put it on his side of the bed. You know with every fiber of your being that if you allowed any part of Adrian to slip through the cracks, you would forgive everything he had put you through.

You don’t know how long it’s been when Rooster puts a hand on your shoulder, making you jump.

“Sorry! I just wanted to tell you movers will be here soon. They’ll bring boxes for everything and pack it really carefully and bring it to my house. When we finish packing your clothes, we can get lunch and drive to my- our house.” He gives you a sweet smile before helping you continue to pack. When you fill up your largest suitcase, you move onto your smaller suitcases and pack your lighter clothes and accessories in them. Periodically, Rooster will hold up an article of your clothing and ask if you think he can pull it off, earning a small smile from you. Otherwise, you work in silence, both of you unable to fill the void that you feel in your heart. Eventually, the movers arrive and Rooster lets them in and explains the situation, then returns to finish helping you.

—------

Rooster’s POV

He’s helping you pack your last few items, when suddenly you speak up.

“Roo… Why are you helping me?”

Because I love you! His inner monologue screams. He bites his lip, continuing to fold your clothes.

“Because you’re my best friend. I care about you. Because I should have told you sooner. And… because it’s what my dad would’ve done.”

“Oh… Well why did you think I wouldn’t forgive you for telling me?”

Rooster takes a deep breath, putting your last pair of pants in your suitcase. “Adrian… He got in my head. He told me that if I told you what was going on, you would blame me for your relationship ending.”

You bite your lip, letting a nervous laugh slip out as you look around the bedroom which was now devoid of your belongings.

“Bradley… You realize that’s silly, right? He’s the reason the relationship is ending. He cheated. He just can’t handle taking the blame for something for once in his fucking life. He knows you’re too good to not tell me, so he manipulated you. That’s what he-” The sound of a car door closing cuts you off, and you look at your best friend with wide eyes.

“It’s okay, we have all of your stuff and the movers are gonna finish up. We can go. You don’t have to say anything to him.” He takes all of your suitcases in his hands with ease, and you follow him to the staircase.

“Baby? Are you here?” You hear your now-ex call from the foyer.

You shrink behind Bradley as you round the corner and begin your trek down the stairs.

“Y/N? What’s going on?”

“I-” Bradley shakes his head, turning slightly to give you a look.

“What the fuck does it look like, Adrian? She’s leaving you. You fucked up for the last time.”

Adrian scoffs, sending shivers up your spine, “yeah? And I suppose you’re gonna take care of her, big man? She’ll never forgive you. You did this.”

Bradley starts to say something, but you dodge around him and come face-to-face with the man you once loved.

“He didn’t do shit, Adrian. He didn’t cheat on me. He didn’t abandon me when I needed him most. He didn’t laugh at me with his friends. He didn’t ditch me on anniversaries, birthdays, when I was sick, just to fuck someone else. Bradley is the only one in this house who cares about me. The only thing he did was spare me from thinking you were my forever. Fuck you, and fuck everything I ever let you put me through.” Holding back tears, you pull out your favorite photo of the two of you, from your very first date at the Santa Monica Pier. You rip it into pieces while maintaining eye contact with him, then drop it to the floor.

You walk out of your house and hop in the passenger’s seat of Rooster’s car, and the dam breaks. Every emotion you’ve felt today comes pouring out, and you start sobbing. The loss of everything you thought you had comes crashing down, and you struggle to breathe between your sobs. You hear Bradley close the tailgate after loading your stuff, but your body won’t let the tears stop. He opens his door and when he sees your current state, his face falls.

—----------------

Rooster’s POV

“It’s okay, sweet girl. He can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t touch you. I won’t let him get near you ever again.” He continues whispering sweet nothings against your hair until he’s sure you’ve stopped crying. He drives you to his house with a determination you’ve never seen before and gets there in record time.

He steps out of the car and comes around to let you out, scooping you up in his arms and carrying you inside. He takes you up the stairs and sets you in his large master bathroom. He scuttles around, grabbing various bath products and towels, then turns on his bathtub faucet.

“Take a bath, take some deep breaths. I’ll get your clothes and some pajamas. Do you want to sleep in the guest room or my bedroom? I can sleep in the guest room if you want my bed, it’s more comfortable honestly.”

He can see the gears turning in your head as you weigh your options, then meets your gaze when your head moves up to look at him. “Can I sleep in your bed with you? I just want to cuddle… It’s okay if not I don’t want to bother you, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable I just don’t want to be alone and you’re my best friend-”

He cuts you off with a hug, and all he can think is that he’s screwed. Completely, totally screwed.

—-------------

Reader’s POV

Bradley’s quiet for a moment as he holds you, and all you can think is that you should have never overstepped. You know immediately you fucked up by asking him that, and nothing would ever be the same again.

He steps back with his hands on your shoulders, looking you directly in the eye again, “of course you can. It won’t bother me, it won’t make me uncomfortable. I know you need affection, and I’m your best friend. I’ll always be here for you. Now, I’m gonna go get your stuff, I’ll leave you some pajamas outside the door. Take your time and just breathe.”

You nod and thank him before stripping and slowly sinking into the tub, almost moaning at how surreal the water feels on your skin. Your mind wanders to when you were living with Adrian and how he never wanted you to take baths because it was time spent away from him. You couldn’t go out with friends, you couldn’t go on walks without him suspecting something was going on. He truly did trap you into thinking you were safe with him.

You shake off the thoughts of your ex and sink deeper into the water, letting your mind roam to thoughts of your best friend. He had done so much for you, and you had no idea how you would ever repay him. You’d had feelings for him years ago, and having him take care of you now was making those feelings resurface. It had been so long since someone had genuinely cared about you, listened to you, or made you feel appreciated. And here Bradley was, doing all those things like he always did. Ever since you had started dating Adrian, you could see that Bradley was concerned. You’d thought it was just a friendly kind of concern, but now you suspected it was more than that. Could this be the catalyst you needed to finally be with someone who showed you he cared about you every day? Could you confess your feelings without Bradley thinking it was an impulsive decision based on your current situation?

As you wash up and finish your bath, you resolve to tell Bradley in the morning when you were clear headed. Tonight, you would just bask in the affection and the knowledge that despite Adrian’s best efforts, you did have someone in your life that cherished you. And that was what mattered.

You get up and dry off, then turn to see your pajamas on the counter, along with a pair of underwear. Your eyes widen, embarrassed that he went through your underwear, until you realize that if the clothes are in the bathroom, that means he saw you in the bathtub. You blush at the thought of him seeing you naked but regretting you didn’t get to see his face. Did he linger to watch you? To appreciate you? You shake off the intrusive thoughts and get dressed before leaving the bathroom to see Bradley laying in his bed in shorts with no shirt. He extends his arms to invite you in, and you don’t waste a moment climbing into bed and snuggling up to him. He rolls the both of you onto your sides, still holding you close.

“Is this okay?” He asks softly into your hair, and you feel him start to stroke your arm.

“It’s perfect,” you mumble back, his touch lulling you into the first peaceful sleep you’ve had in months.

-------------

@my-emotional-self @thankyouforanonymity @supernaturaldean67 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @princess76179 @srgntjbarnes @jcc04220 @ilovethefandomwho-blog @a-tale-of-two-comics @p-parkerrr-blog @magellan-88 @healojane @mizz-kraziii @lostinspace33 @esther-maslow-90 @astheskycries @kunaikunari @turningtoclown

[dancing-heart-pony]

Um… so uh… this.

[creamflix]

omg before i go to sleep I NEEEEDDD to tell you how obsessed i am with unscripted. p.s. your writing speed scares me

i just---he's so HOT? and reader being such a loser is SO REAL like we need more of loser!reader in this world.

this is deffo my comfort series, and i am so obsesed with how you write. when they met at the bar for the first time, you kept referencing "dancing queens" and it almost felt like you were describing a movie scence (specifically rom com :')) where there's music playing in the bg and they're like FALING INN LOVEEE. it is honeslty so unique u are SOO good at writing.

not to be a hornball but omg when they finally do the devil's tango his dirty talk is literaly gonna be top tier. like reader being her virgin self is literally going to DIEEEE. i feel like she's going to be literally melting but i also think that toji might be so in love that HE might be the pathetic one. regardless of whatever you write just know I AM HERE FOR IT AHHHH.

i was literally fighting sleep yesterday because i wanted to continue reading it and lo and behold it was like 4am :[

AAASHI MY LOVE 🥹🥹 reading this ask made me so happy 🩷🩷 im glad you’re enjoying it as much as i am!

as i said in one of my other asks, i write reader’s personality with me/my friends in mind [SO self indulgent i KNOWW], but i guess that’s what makes it real and relatable! like, how else are you gonna react when you need to put all your writing into practice HUH!! and it doesn’t help that it’s TOJI of all people

this is an ode to all the smut writers on here, i see you <3 and this fic is for all of us !!

writing the dancing queen scene/s is always my favourite 🥹 i literally have that song on loop right now and averaged 100-ish plays in this week alone, do not regret it one BIT. it’s kinda funny how i chose dancing queen of all songs, but it just fits !! i agree about the rom-com thing as well, initially it was going to be a lot more smuttier but that’s BOOOOORRRIIINGGG, and besides, who doesn’t like reading more fleshed-out stories and characters anyways? seeing everyone’s reboots and comments make me smile so much as well, i don’t regret the change one BIT 🫶 i hope the next (and final) chapter really brings that out!! 🩷🩷

i kid you not, i was thinking about the actual freaky scenes SO much…like it’s gonna be a pretty big deal for reader, not because “oh she’s a virgin 😂😂” but….you’ve been writing about something for SO LONG and now you’re FINALLY getting to experience it. is it as good as you write, or worse? or something different entirely? this is a snippet i just had to share, i feel like it captures their dynamics a lot LMAO

as for pathetic toji….you read my mind. because i fear that might happen 😳 like are you kidding me!?** with the way i’ve been showcasing his character — or atleast my attempt to — you’d think he’d be super cocky and would show reader a good time, because he “knows what he’s doing.” he does!

but i really wanted to highlight that he’s so in love with reader that he just lets it happen 🥹 “brain empty no thoughts just my loving wife” kinda feel <3 i feel like that’s kinda reflective of his personality as well, because toji IS and will FOREVER be a lover boy to me. once he’s locked in with you, he’s LOCKED IN FOR LIFE.

thank u for sending in this ask bby !! i may have ended ranting a lot but i just love it when people appreciate my work as much as i have <3 this series has been such a blast to write and i cannot wait to explore the other character’s stories as well! (especially gojo & gojo-sonic hehe)

but PLEASE never sacrifice your sleep 😕🙂‍↔️😢 my works are always here for you!! <3

**[snippet under the cut]**

[krikeymate]

Fictober 2023: Day 4: “Do you even know what this means?” - Sam isn't as alone as she thinks she is. Featuring Mindy. Fandom: Scream Rating: T Warnings: None.

➖

Sam frowns at her laptop screen, confused. It doesn’t make any sense. Why are there so many branches on this tree? Eugh, she knew doing this genetics thing was a mistake. The last thing she should be doing is putting her DNA out there for anyone to trace back to her. All it takes is one more vindictive cop and then…

Curse Tara’s heartbreakingly effective sad expression. She’s mastered the disappointed “oh, okay then” too. Sam may have taught her sister how to use all her skills to her advantage, but that didn’t mean she should get to use them against her!

Little shit.

 “I don’t know what I’m looking at,” she declares, leaning back on the couch with a sigh.

Tara abandons her phone to lean over and tilt the laptop toward her.  Sam watches as her sister’s face goes from exasperated – a common expression when Sam tries to interact with technology – to confused.

She almost regrets speaking up when Tara begins to frown. Sam hates seeing her frown. The “this doesn’t make any sense” she mutters under her breath is more than a little vindicating at least.

Tara slides the computer into her own lap to analyse the screen. Unfortunately, her appropriation of the device does not go unnoticed by Mindy, who was supposed to be cleaning up the mess she had made in their kitchen.

If Sam catches anyone doing another 4am baking session in a house they don’t even live in, they’re gonna catch her hands instead. Or a knife, as someone recently – almost fatally – learnt for herself.

“Come on now,” Mindy jeers, “how hard can it be?”

Mindy of course, being the one who convinced Tara, who convinced Sam, that they should send off their very private DNA to this big and famous ancestry company. Oh it’ll be interesting, she said. You’ll get to see where you come from, she said. You'll be able to connect with anyone else in your family tree who’s done it too, she said. As if that one was something appealing.

Unfortunately, Tara’s whispered confession of wanting to know whether their father had another family out there was damning to Sam’s ability to say no. Having basically grown up without any family other than each other, Tara’s desires were all too understandable.

But Sam will get her own back on Mindy for suggesting this, mark her words.

“Are you discovering that your mom isn’t actually your mom? Cause that would make so much sense to be honest, ‘cause I’ve said it before, that lady far too white to be birthing two Latinas like yourselves.”

Tara’s eyes dart from the screen to meet Sam’s as they share a look they’ve come to master over the past year. Disbelief, amusement, a silently screamed are they serious? passing between them.

Mindy doesn’t notice it.

“I mean, how do two basically white people end up making Sam? Answer me that!” she continues, leaning her arms against the back of the couch. “Heck, I bet the only Mexican in your mom was your da-“

“OH MY GOD MINDY!” “WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

“What, am I wrong?”

Sam groans into her hands while Tara, who has years of experience learning to overcome Mindy’s colourfully unfiltered mouth, silently holds the laptop up for her to see.

There’s a moment of silence as Mindy takes in the information, before she claps her hands excitedly.

“Do you even know what this means?” she exclaims, bouncing on her feet, both hands slapping down on the couch.

Mindy doesn’t wait for a response before she barrels ahead, unable to keep it in for even a second longer.

“It means ho~o~oly shit Sam, your dad was a slut!”

Sam wishes she never had to hear those words. She wishes she’d never done the stupid swab test.

She snatches the laptop back and slams the lid shut without even a second glance at the contents.

It was hard enough to learn that Tara was her half-sister. The knowledge that she has 12 other half-siblings out there burns in the back of her throat.

She has a family; she doesn’t need more.

What was she thinking.

[keikeu]

playground :: shigeta harua

pairing :: nonidol! shigeta harua x gn! reader

genre :: fluff, established relationship

warnings :: none

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

if somebody else had asked harua to go out at the playground close to his neighborhood at 4am on a wednesday, he would've simply said no (and probably ignored that person for a while, if we're being honest). but it was you, and he'd do anything for you.

so there he was, being dragged by you to the playground a few blocks away. you were talking in a hushed voice, after all it was late and most people were sleeping, while he listened. he was still half asleep, his messy hair fell on his face and his clothes were disheveled because he had rushed to put them on.

the reason why the two of you were out in the first place, was because you couldn't sleep. this wasn't the first time you had difficulty falling asleep, but today it just was worst than ever. at first, you had texted him and shockingly he had responded. since it was a school day, you expected him to be asleep like the rest, but you considered yourself lucky that he was up.

you spent until 3am talking, he was trying to get you to sleep, he even send you voice messages of him singing. but sadly his effort went to waste as you were still up. and maybe because it was late at night and you hadn't gotten any sleep, your brain came up with the genius idea to pay a visit to the playground. there wouldn't be any kids to bother you and parents to judge.

harua agreed, you had to go to his house to get him, but that didn't matter because you were thankful he had agreed in the first place. you really appreciated that he always tried his best to help you sleep. you loved him and his affectionate gestures a lot.

you held his hand, slowing down your pace to walk next to him. as you talked, you took quick glances at him, only to find him looking at you. it still made you blush and gave you butterflies, and you were sure it did the same to him, the small smile on his face made you believe so.

under the light of the moon, everything was much calmer. the two of you had never been out this late before, but it was nice. it was only the sounds of your chatting and footsteps, the wind that occasionally blew and brushed your hair and the soft hue of the stars that had made their appearance through the thick clouds.

the more you walked, the closer you got to the playground. it was empty, of course, and your eyes lit up upon seeing the place. it had really been a while since you had been to a playground.

"i'm gonna go on the monkey bars!" you exclaimed, trying not speak to loudly, although harua could still hear the excitement in your voice. he followed behind you like you were a carefree child and he was a worried parent. he didn't want you to get hurt.

"you know, i was the best at monkey bars out of all the kids. you don't have to stay behind me like i'm gonna fall or something." you reached for the first bar with a confident smile on your face. harua chuckled before responding.

"yeah, you were. and don't say that, what if you actually fall." he watched as you moved your hands from one bar to the other, making sure nothing bad happened. then when you finished, you fell on your feet and proudly dusted off your hands.

"and i still am!" you added, poking his nose before diverting your attention to the slides. the boy rolled his eyes at your sudden action before walking to you with a grin on his face. you made him very happy.

"come on we should go down the slide together!" you waited for him to go up the small stairs before guiding him how to sit.

"why should i go first? do you want me to get hurt?" he questioned with a fake and exaggerated frown on his face, making you lightly hit his shoulder as you sat behind him.

"you're not gonna get hurt, love. here, i'll hold your hand if it makes you feel better." you held your hand out and he took it, giving it a little squeeze. you smiled before the two of you went down the slide. you never though it would've been so fun at this age, but the quick thrill it gave the two of you was enough for the laughs to burst out. you tried the different slides, your laughter and giggling growing louder.

"wait wait we should try the roundabout!" you said, quickly getting up from the last slide and walking over to where the said equipment was.

"are you sure? i've never really liked roundabouts..." harua said, scratching the back of his head, trying to convince you to go somewhere else but it was already to late. you were sitting on one of the rusty seats, waiting for him to come.

"can you spin me then?" he let out a little sigh before nodding.

"if you feel dizzy after, just know it's not my fault." he playfuly said with a small smirk on his face, and you couldn't say anything else because he had already started spining the roundabout.

"aaahhh harua slow this down please!" you loudly screamed as you held onto the metal bar in front of you for dear life. and the boy listened to you, stopping so suddenly that it made your hair fall on your face and your eyes slowly blink open. your sharp gaze made its way to where the boy was standing. he held an awkward smile, realizing what he had done.

"i'm gonna get you harua!" you got up from your place, feeling your world spin around. he was about to run, but seeing as you were still trying to balance without holding onto anything, he waited. then the stern look on your eyes was a signal for him to start running.

"i told you it's not you fault if you get dizzy!" he shouted as he ran around the whole playground, you following right behind him.

"you did it on purpose!" you argued back, finally catching up to him and jumping on his back. he stumbled before moving his hands to hold you.

"i thought you were gonna hit me." he quietly said while walking back to the playground.

"eh, i got tired." you responded, placing your chin on his shoulder. "can we go on the swings before we leave?"

and he did as you asked, putting you down right in front of the swings. you sat down on one of them, and he sat on the one next to you. he could tell you were starting to get tired. you weren't as talktive and energetic as before, and you had yawned a few times by now. a small smile made its way on his face as he saw your tired eyes blinking a few times, while your feet tried to push the rest of your body on the swing. you looked so cute.

he moved his swing next to yours, bumping them intentionally, making you look at him.

"what are you trying to do?" you streached the 'o' at the end of your sentence before bumping his swing. a small chuckle escaped his lips, making you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

"i don't know." he teasingly responded, before grabbing the chain of your swing to pull you closer to him. your faces were inches apart.

"you can just say you want to kiss me." you said with a smirk, and he placed a small peck on your lips. after he let your swing go, making you get up.

"you could have at least kissed me properly!" you complained with a small frown, also making harua get up.

"i'll kiss you when i take you home, lovely." and that was all it took to convince you to leave the playground. now you were definitely sleepy, you again held his hand on the way home, this time resting your head on his arm. this time he made the small talk, trying to keep you awake until he took you to your house.

luckily it wasn't far away, and in a few minutes you found yourselves in front of your doorstep.

"thank you for today. i love you." you mumbled, but it was enough for him to hear. and maybe you hadn't realized it since you were half asleep, but you had said 'i love you' to him for the first him. his heart had exploded, but he tried to keep his cool. with a grin on his face, he places a small peck on your forehead and brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

"i love you too. now go get some sleep." he cupped your cheek and placed a kiss on your lips. you waved goodbye for the last time, and he left after he had seen you go to your room. that night, the two of you went to sleep with the happiest memories and the warmest feelings.

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a/n :: a cute one shot for a cute boy😋😋 this is my first time writing for &team so i hope it's good :))

©keikeu

[saltygilmores]

Dance Marathon Episode (Aka Murder On the Dancefloor)-Part 7

I'm not looking forward to the next episode, Let The Games Begin. I only remember small fragments of it, andI know it's almost Literati Kickoff Time and I'm getting nervous. Stall, stall, stall! Oh hey look who it is.

Salty, in her best, nasally Adam Brody voice: One sandweech please. Thinking about @frazzledsoul's headcanon where Dave Rygalski and Max Medina cross paths in California and Max mows Dave down with his car. Dave was really living out Jess' dream. You know what else I keep thinking about the entire time I'm watching this episode? What times these events are taking place. Dave Rygalski is just wandering in fresh faced and bushy tailed at 5am on a Sunday morning to see Lane. He's soooo dreamy. You know what else I'm thinking about? How that bucket of egg salad has been sitting out unrefrigerated for 24 hours and Stars Hollow is about to experience a mass food poisoning the likes of which the town has never seen. No need to worry, On top of the IRS, Child Protective Services, and the Connecticut Labor Board, I'd already added the Connecticut Health Department to my speed dial.

Well isn't that cute. But Alas. Lord Amy giveth, and Lord Amy taketh away.

Dave. Ma'am. Dave: Uh, no, I heard a bunch of people talking about the sandwiches, so I thought I'd come in and try one.

Getting hit by a car would be much quicker and less painful than suffering a slow and agonozing death from e.coli but who am I to play God, I guess. Mrs Kim loads Dave up with sandwiches to bring home to his parents after they return from nearby "Bible Study" (at 5am). Since this is Stars Hollow and everyone is a naive rube, Mrs Kim doesn't question which church or why she doesn't already know these other churchy people in this small town or how it's possible they're outchurching her by waking up at 4am on a Sunday, and totally falls for it. You gotta give it to Dave, he's slick. I'm gonna start calling him Slick Dave. The final opportunity for Lane to at least fake interest in Jess to piss off her mother has just sailed past. Womp womp.

6 minutes left in the episode, ya'll. Buckle in. *heavy, resigned sigh* Rory's about to act like such a salty little b that she's going to... force me to defend Dean. A Salty's gotta do, what a Salty's gotta do…

That's what Dean's parents said about him after his birth.

Shane with the thousand yard stare like her corpse.

Rory Freaking Gilmore! Enough!

I've had it with you.

I'm bored. Okuh. *tonsil hockey* Look, everyone, look at those two kids and how every time you see them they're always sticking their tongues down each other's throats and not talking This is relationship goals, honestly. Rory knows it. This is why she has sand in her panties.

If you've ever wondered whether this actress, Jessica Kiper, knows what a sweet gig it was to get paid to make out with Milo Ventimiglia and say a few lines...she knows. She knows she lived our dream. She has bought it up unprompted many times on social media. You can rub it in our faces, we don't mind. We love you, Queen.

I mean, they've tried. So are you offering? Can they go back to your house and do it in your bed? You're certainly not using it for anything other than sleeping.

They've been there, done that, also in a closet, in the backseat of a car, on the school football field, under the bleachers, in a bathroom...

It was not a telephone pole, it was a tree. You were there, Rory. You were there.

The already dim light in Dean's eyes is fading away. He's thinking, yeah, what is the deal with girls who enjoy sex... I wouldn't know.

Shane wiping the saliva from her mouth is GOLDEN. And yes baby we are always talking about you. If you see me talking at any point in time it is probably about you. Shit, this will have to go into part 8. Bye!