#I know it wouldn’t be Joe but it would be cool if we got some more people because the LA cast is huge compared to London

[plant-lesbian569]

The insta stories from the Spy another day rehearsals are getting me emotional. Joe Walker is singing with his friends again

[thoughtfulfiction]

Shift in the Routine

Author’s Note: Vibes are up from episode one of Hard Knocks starring Batman but I really wanted to write something angsty.

Part II

The morning started off with an entire 16 oz cup full of coffee spilling all over the kitchen floor. The brown puddle continued to spread and you watched in horror as the caramel frappuccino you’d just spent the last 20 minutes carefully curating to perfection went to waste. Then, your apartment key got stuck in the door, snapping in half so you had to make a call to your lovely landlord who charged you $150 to replace the key, and get the maintenance guy to come in and get your old key out. There went the money that you wanted to use to splurge on lunch.

Just when you thought you’d turned a corner for the better when you got off work early, your best friend Rachel called in a panic, putting an immediate end to the relaxing afternoon you had planned.

“Hi babe! I need you to do me a huge favor.”

You sighed, mentally saying goodbye to the Netflix binge on the couch with a fluffy blanket you were desperately looking forward to. “What’s up?“

She chuckles softly, breathing out a sound of relief that you were willing to help. “You know you’re my favorite person in the world, right?”

“What do you need Rach?” You bite out, your patience mostly nonexistent after such an awful day. Even her best attempt at buttering you up wouldn’t fix it.

“Okay, okay jeez. Who pissed in your cereal this morning? Anyways, I need you to run to my office and grab my other laptop. The one I have with me died and the tablet just isn’t cutting it right now,” you can hear her whispering to someone while you wait on the other end of the line for further instructions, “texting you the address as we speak.”

Your destination was 48 minutes away from her office, much closer to your job. Rachel owed you. Big time. “Fine. Be there in an hour.” You hung up a little in the midst of hearing her say “thank you” for the sixth time.

Rachel was an interior designer, working on some top secret project with a client for the last year, whose identity she refused to reveal, that was until today when she clearly had no choice. She’d apparently asked the client if it was ok for you to come to the house and they were clearly cool with it because the gate opened and the mansion you were faced with was unlike anything you’d ever seen. Every part of you wished you’d worn nicer clothes to work today.

Before you could even knock, your friend opened the door and ushered you in, plugging the laptop into one of the kitchen outlets and pulling up whatever she needed, thanking you again for saving her ass.

You looked around the room, exquisite marble covered the countertops, super cozy looking white swivel chairs and every square inch of the place just screamed luxury. “Who the hell lives here alone? Head of the mafia?”

Rachel snorts out a laugh, typing away without looking up at you.

“Not exactly,” a male voice is heard behind you, scaring you a little. And that makes Rachel laugh even more. “I assume you’re Rachel’s friend y/n.”

No fucking way.

You glance at Rachel before turning around to face him, nodding your head. “I’m so sorry your highness, you’re more…King of the Jungle, right? The mafia is more of a Bills thing.” All the secrecy made sense now and you turn towards her, your eyes full of disbelief.

“You signed an NDA didn’t you? Because I know you’re the world’s worst secret keeper and you’ve worked for the Bengals starting quarterback for a year and I haven’t heard a peep. Wait,” you look at him again, “does this mean I have to sign one?”

“Would you like to?” Joe deadpans, a hint of amusement pokes out behind his rigid exterior. He looks even better in person, you think to yourself.

“I have always wanted to sign one but I’ve never really been in the position to do that. But now…”

“Now you’re being ridiculous,” Rachel cuts in, “he’s not gonna make you sign anything, you don’t even know the gate code.”

Waving her off for ruining your fun, you grab your keys and get ready to head home when Joe’s voice stops you in your tracks for the second time in the last 20 minutes.

“You don’t want water or anything before you go? I have an entire fridge just for Voss water. The glass bottles.” His voice is so relaxed, a calming energy surrounds him and he delivers his words with such a casual tone like it’s not one of the most absurd things you’ve ever heard.

“Are you being serious?”

“No! I’m kidding,” he laughs, a genuine hearty sound that you hope to never forget. You need to leave this fortress as soon as humanly possible before you find yourself attracted to the way the man breathes.

Rachel has long forgotten the two of you are in the room, completely in the zone while deciding between white oak and alder so the gorgeous man walks you out. Has he always been this tall? “Rich and funny. It’s very nice to meet you Joe.”

He’s about to let you leave, but he doesn’t want to regret not going for it. “Would you—maybe want to um, see each other again? When you’re having less of a bad day? I promise there will be no coffee involved, just a little dinner?” This is a stark difference from his earlier nonchalance, you can tell he’s trying to keep the nerves at bay.

“You heard all of that?” You look at him wide-eyed. Of course Joe freaking Burrow heard you complaining about spilling coffee everywhere and damaging your keys, not your finest moments. And somehow, none of that deterred him from asking you out. “I’d love to. Rachel can give you my number and I’ll see you soon?”

“Yes, definitely.”

Dinner turned into dinner and a movie which turned into several nights of ordering in. That became FaceTime dates when he would travel across the country, helping him pick out clothes to wear for his foundation’s golf tournament or getting up at ungodly hours to answer his calls during Paris Fashion Week. Then he came home to lock in for the season but not before giving you a jump scare by randomly buzzing and bleaching his hair. Everything you thought you knew about him from the media or via word of mouth living the city, was nothing compared to actually getting to be with him. He was funny and kind and the most caring person in the world and you really owed Rachel your entire life for asking you to drop off that laptop.

Admittedly, you were nervous going into the season. You’d seen him go down last year in Baltimore, watching on tv like every other fan feeling helpless as his season ended. Now you’d seen first hand how much work had gone into not only getting him back to what he was before but transforming him into a better version of what he once was. And routine was everything. Workouts and meals were scheduled down to meticulous detail, meetings with his nutritionist and strength trainer happened frequently and the closer you got to week 1 the more dialed into the process he was. You just tried your best to navigate the controlled chaos.

Friday evening before you drove home after work, you made a pit-stop at Joe’s to drop something off. Having already decided that you were staying at your place for the rest of the weekend as to not be distraction, you placed your surprise in the fridge feeling proud of yourself before closing the door, meeting your boyfriend face to face.

“Oh my god, you scared the shit out of me!” You playfully smacked his chest as he grabs onto your hands, enveloping you in a warm embrace. “I didn’t think I’d see you. Thought you’d be up to your eyebrows in New England film right now.”

“Took a break to grab a snack,” he sidesteps you to get to the fridge, taking a look inside before he spots the item you just placed in there. “What are these?”

You nod toward the tupperware in his hand, “open it.”

Joe carefully takes off the lid, looking at the contents inside like a kid on christmas morning, recognizing the look of his favorite dessert, with a twist.

“They’re protein pumpkin pie cups. The bottom is peanut butter.”

“Two of my favorite things. Well, three now, including you. Thank you.” You want to pretend to have a toothache at how sweet he’s being but instead you stand on your toes, inching your way up to kiss him on the lips and when you pull away to stand at your normal height he sneaks another kiss, pressing one onto the side of your head. It’s getting late and you really don’t want to leave, but you can’t mess up his routine. The next time you see him is after the loss, he’s understandably disappointed but also a little relieved to shake some of the rust off and come back more relaxed the next game.

Slowly but surely the losses piled up and they added more weight to his often slumped shoulders. You tried to lighten the load by being a constant presence, reminding him of how well he was playing, but the once comfortable, homey atmosphere that Joe created for you became tense. Long conversations about how the team could be better turned into shrugs, “I don’t knows” and exhausted sighs.

And now? The team was 4-8.

You’d been staying at Joe’s since the bye week ended just to make sure he wasn’t isolating himself and completely consumed by football. When he came home after the Steelers game you could instantly tell it was going to be a long night. As soon as he set foot in the door he dropped his bag off and headed up to his office without giving you so much as a glance.

Dinner was cold by the time he emerged again two hours later. You didn’t want to say the wrong thing. And you also didn’t want to just sit there and say nothing. The elephant in the room was doubling in size by the minute. “Joe, you—”

“If you’re about to say I played well you can just…not. I fumbled the ball twice and threw a pick. Three turnovers isn’t exactly a recipe for success.”

You closed your eyes, trying to come up with something that would get him to see things the way you did. “I know that, but you still fought your way back and you guys were so close to completing the comeback.”

His adam’s apple bobs uncomfortably slow as he swallows some of his frustration. None of this was your fault and he knew that. He just, really didn’t want to talk about it anymore today. He’d discussed it with the team, with coaches, the media. The game had ended long ago and he was still having to explain himself. Glancing at the clock, he let you know he was heading to bed and he was just…gone. No hug, no kiss on the cheek or anything. Which usually wouldn’t have bothered you but then you found him fast asleep with his back facing you. You climbed in behind him, treating him like the little spoon as you wrapped your arms around him but he easily removed himself from your grasp, covering himself with the blanket, mumbling something about not feeling like cuddling tonight. You had this overwhelming urge to cry so you turned away from him, squeezing your eyes shut, begging sleep to overtake you.

Waking up the next morning, you decide to shake off whatever that was last night. You texted Joe’s chef and asked him what was on the menu for tonight, thinking that a good meal and some lighthearted conversation was just the thing he needed. The work day was long and frustrating, some random sponsors came in to do some long winded presentation about the new health guidelines which was about as entertaining as watch Geno Stone miss tackles. One thing was motivating you to get through it and that was Morgan, Joe’s chef texting you that he would have everything ready when you got home and all you had to do was put your finishing touches on the evening.

All of the food was prepped, the table was set, candles lit and all you needed was Joe. You wait 45 minutes for him to walk in the door, looking surprised. “What is all this?”

“Nothing special, I just figured we could eat together before watching Monday Night Football in bed.”

The look on his face isn’t promising. “I already ate at the facility,” Joe says regretfully. He’s met with silence and it’s uncomfortable, worrying. “How was work?”

“I texted you,” your voice hardens, “twice. No response.”

“Wasn’t near my phone all day. We had a team meeting, guys said things that were on their minds and we had an open and honest conversation. I’m sorry I didn’t see it.”

You close your eyes, really trying not to cry about something so small. “Right, ok. How did your meeting go?”

“It was fine,” he shrugs, not divulging any other details and it irks you even more. Joe catches you massaging your temples, a clear sign that you’re stressed. “You alright?”

“I’m fine,” you echo his words, hoping he gets the hint, “had a long day.”

The quarterback places his hands on your shoulders, hoping to ease the tension in your posture. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“That’s rich,” you mumble.

“Hm?”

You grab his hands and pry them off of you. “I said that’s rich. You know, coming from you.”

He looks irritated but keeps his voice even, “what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you want me to open up and talk about my feelings when you’ve been an emotional brick wall the last couple weeks! I can barely get two words out of you. Joe, I’m trying babe. I respect your time and your space, I never stay the night on Saturdays or ask you do anything past 8pm and you still shut me out. Why is that?”

“You don’t think that doing all of this is a little much right now? Everyone wants something from me all the time. I just need a second to think, on my own. And I get it, you’re trying to help but you’re always here, pestering me about little things. I really don’t need you breathing down my neck and smothering me this week.”

You stare at him for a while, processing every word he just said.

You’re pestering him.

You’re smothering him.

Breathing down his neck.

That’s why he didn’t want you to hold him last night. He thinks you’re too needy, too clingy.

You’d done the one thing you’d been telling yourself you wouldn’t do. You had disturbed his peace, messed up his flow. In trying to be helpful and proactive, you had actually gotten more in the way. And he didn’t want you here right now. He’d just made that painfully clear.

“No you’re right,” you tell him, in your most normal tone, “I’ll stop with the questions. You probably have stuff to do so I’m gonna clean this stuff up.”

Joe nods simply, heading upstairs to crack open the Dallas film. A few stray tears escape your eyes as soon as he’s gone. You gave yourself 10 minutes to have a little cry and then the leftovers were placed in the fridge, dishes put away, candles blown out and everything back in its rightful place. Then you headed upstairs to Joe’s room to pack your stuff. He clearly needed space from you and you weren’t going to stay anywhere you weren’t wanted. Carefully placing all of your bags in the car, you took a shuddering breath before putting the keys in the ignition.

He woke up out of his sleep around 4am looking for you, feeling the cold space where your body was supposed to be. Chalking it up to you maybe having slept in one of the guest rooms after the tense conversation from earlier, he turned over and went back to sleep. You knew you had a problem, tossing and turning aimlessly, growing accustomed to being next to him, literally proving his point. The honeymoon phase was over and you desperately needed to pull it together.

“You don’t need to freak out, every couple goes through a rough patch,” Rachel tries to reassure you, digging into her bowl of popcorn as you lay face first, mumbling into your pillow. “Babe I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”

It feels like there’s a ton of bricks weighing you down after one disagreement. “Rach you didn’t hear what he said. And the way he looked at me. He hasn’t even called or texted or anything. And I’m not texting him, that would be smothering or pestering or everything else he said. God I just, I don’t know.”

She hated to see you struggling like this. “Just give yourself some time and you’ll eventually know the right thing to do. You two are annoyingly into each other and those genuine feelings don’t go away because of a stress filled heated moment.”

She was right, all you needed to do was give him space. You dove face first into your job, attending every meeting five minutes early and staying later to get ahead on the next day’s to-do list. Joe did eventually text late in the afternoon, asking if you were coming over for dinner but you told him you had a work thing.

By day three of you having “work stuff,” Joe was calling bullshit. All of your responses were either dry, a simple “yes” or “no” or you kept it short and sweet. And he didn’t like it. Even though he prided himself in being able to compartmentalize, at home it felt empty and void of color and joy without you. He’d pushed you away and embarrassingly said some things that he didn’t even really mean, he just lashed out of exasperation and now he hadn’t heard the sound of your voice in almost 80 hours.

He needed to fix this.

“Can open the door? We need to talk.” He sounded out, in between semi frantic knocks on your door.

Slowly cracking it open, you let him in. “What do we need to talk about?”

His hair is messy and still slightly wet, like he ran here immediately after a shower. Seemed like this couldn’t possibly wait another second. “I’m sorry. I said things I shouldn’t have. I was upset because you’re right. The other night,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “you called me out and I didn’t want to admit you had a point so I dug myself a hole. And I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

You wanted to melt into his arms and forgive him. You wished it was that easy. But his words just kept playing over and over in your mind. “I appreciate the apology.”

“So…you’ll come home with me?”

“Joe I am home. And you have—a strict sleeping schedule. It’s getting late, I’m sure you’re tired.”

He wonders quietly how long you’ve been like this, giving robotic, monotone responses like you’re just saying things that you think he wants to hear. “It is getting late, but I’ve gotten so used to you being next to me that I don’t sleep as well when you’re gone.”

“Really? Cause I thought I was smothering you. Or what was the other one? Oh right, breathing down your neck.”

“Babe, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well you still said it! And now I’m wondering if I’m too much for you or how you had to drive over here instead of going home and getting your rest trying my best to be what you need,” you pause, looking at him through watery eyes, “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

He seems visibly shaken, hesitantly steps toward you, reaching out to hold your hand to make your not going to disappear into thin air and leave him on his own. “Wh—what you mean?”

“I just, I really think I’m the one that needs some space. To figure out where the hell I even fit into all this. If I still want to fit into all this. I’m not saying I want to breakup I just think—you’re in a really pivotal time in the season and I don’t want to get in the way.”

Joe gives your hand a squeeze, “you’re never in the way. Actually it’s the opposite, I just wasn’t appreciative enough of everything you’ve done for me this year. But if you want space then, take all the time you need.” He swallows the lump in his throat and presses his lips to your forehead, uttering out that he’ll be waiting until you’re ready.

You take a step away from him as his soft lips linger on your skin whispering, “Joe…can you please go?”

He nods, slowly closing the door behind him. You imagine him walking away, climbing into his Porsche and heading home alone. Maybe this is how it should be, him over there, you here.

Tonight almost hurts more than the last time, so much so that the tears won’t even come. You’re just…numb. But you need this space to see if this life is something you’re ready to commit to. Because the last thing you want to be is another thing on his schedule.

[yelenasbraid]

on your doorstep — joe burrow

summary — he really likes you, but you can’t wrap your head around the fact that he likes you.

warnings — fem!reader, lsu!joe, fluff, absolute sweetness, oblivious reader, flustered joey

note — my very first lsu joe fic 🤭 figured it was needed after the loss last night :( there is a fic coming from the game tho! but probably won’t be out until later this week.

LEAVING OHIO STATE was tough. as much as joe knew that it was going to be better for his football career, he had to start over. again. he didn’t want to meet new people in his classes, again.

to make things worse, some of his credits from ohio state didn’t transfer right. so, he had to retake some of his gen ed classes. it just made joe dread the transfer even more, but as he walked into one of his political science classes, he sat next to one of most beautiful girls he’s seen.

as his first semester went on, he got to know the girl beside him. you were incredibly smart; you grasped the content a lot quicker than he did. you were friendly too, easy to talk to and overall he just liked being around you.

so when it came around to an exam, of course joe asked you to be his study buddy.

“don’t you have practice basically all week?” you asked him as your class ended. he shrugged, offering you that goofy, boyish smile.

“well yeah, but i also really want to pass this class,” he replied, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulders. he was cute, especially with how his hair flipped out from under the snapback. his hair was still long, yet he swore up and down he was going to cut it. you liked it long, you liked how he had this happy-go-lucky thing about him, and you also liked how he wasn’t like some of the other players you met. you were drawn to him, but you kept your distance. you knew of the stigma around football players.

“you kinda need to,” you teased as the two of you exited class. ever since joe met you, he’s wanted to be around you. he found himself enjoying class just because you were in it. he had something to look forward too; you made political science interesting to him. you were normal around him too. when you found out he was the starting quarterback, you didn’t lose your mind, didn’t ask for an autograph, or even give him a look. you simply nodded your head, telling him it was cool, and moved on.

at first he thought he should be offended by how nonchalant you were, but as he got to know you, he wasn’t. he enjoyed the fact you two were friends, and not because he played football.

joe rolled his eyes at your comment as you two walked out of the building. it was a rather warm day in the bayou, the sun pelting down on the both of you as you stopped at a nearby cafe.

he liked how the sun made you glow. he liked how you hated the heat, but still made a point to be out in the sun. every interaction he had with you built a butterfly nest in his stomach, and the longer he knew you, the stronger the butterflies got.

“smoothie?” he asked you as you stood in line at the cafe, pulling out your card.

“of course, it’s too hot to not have a smoothie,” you smiled, looking up at him. he was so effortlessly adorable, but he was also kind. you had a mutual love for marvel and would often go on tangents about theories. you’ve never felt so at home with someone that quickly. you felt safe with him, which bred these annoying butterflies in your stomach. he’d never like you, you were just another friend, right?

“right, and it’s a strawberry yogurt smoothie, right?” he asked again, a prideful yet boyish grin plastered on his face. you looked up at him surprise, smiling.

“i’m surprised you remembered,”

“you get it every time we come here, i can’t help but remember it,” he teased. he remembered your order the second you told him, and he’s not forgotten it since. it’s only been a few months and he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. he was so down bad for you it hurt, but you wouldn’t like him. you didn’t seem the type to go after a football player, right?

“that is very true,” you agreed with a laugh. you went to pay, but joe stepped in front of you. you barely had time to question him before he ordered. he stepped back to wait, you joining him.

"you didn't have to pay for me," you told him as you stood next to him. he felt his cheeks redden, heat rising to his ears.

"you were too slow," he teased, but in reality he wanted to pay for you. he wanted to make you feel special and feel like you were the only girl in the world. your smoothies came, and you saw he ordered two strawberry smoothies.

“stepping out of your comfort zone?” you asked, grabbing your smoothie.

“you slurp those things down like it’s candy. i had to try it,” he shrugged. despite acting nonchalant, he wasn’t. he wanted to try the things you like, to do the things you enjoyed. he took a sip of the smoothie, your eyes watching for his reaction.

“you have good taste,” he complimented, a blush rising to his cheeks. every time he complimented you, even if it was small, his heart raced and he got all nervous. would you look too far into it? would you see that he liked you?

“see? they’re good! plus, it’s not too unhealthy,” you grinned, gently shoving him as you sipped your own. you felt eyes as you walked out with joe. he was the star quarterback; people believed that he was going to do lsu a huge favor. you believed it too, but you weren’t appreciative of the stares you got, or the backhanded comments you got.

“it’s so loaded with sugar,” he laughed.

“and yet you’re still drinking it,” you defended. it was the moments like this that you lived for. the smile from joe, the way he walked in step with you, the way he’d walk you back to your apartment. you wanted to be around him all the time, but you couldn’t be. he had practice, and you had other plans too.

the two of you were making your way to the student union to do some studying. would any studying get done? probably not. every time you attempted to study, you ended up goofing off. it happened every time.

you found a table, sat your stuff down, and got out your laptops. you guys actually studied for about 30 minutes until joe showed you a funny video.

“you hear the sound it made when the ball hit his head?” he was giggling so hard as he showed you this video he found. it was two brothers playing baseball in the living room of their home, the ball being a wiffle ball, and it bounced off the younger brother’s head. that then prompted the bat to fly out of the younger brother’s hands, and the chaos of the video was what had joe shaking with laughter.

“how did he not break anything?” you asked with a fit of giggles yourself.

“i don’t know,” joe laughed, a good silent laugh too. you started laughing because of how joe was laughing. you covered your mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles, but it was to no avail.

after a while, your giggle fits died down. you wiped tears from your eyes as you attempted to focus back on your studying.

“what’re you doing tonight?” joe asked you, wiping tears from his eyes.

“as far as i know, nothing. why?” you replied, flicking your eyes to meet his. every time you looked at him, you fought the urge to trace his features with your eyes. his lips, his jawline, his hair, even his neck. it drove you wild and made your nerves go crazy. oh what you would do to kiss him.

no, no you couldn’t think like that. he didn’t like you like that.

“we should have a movie night,” he suggested. you’ve had a movie night before, but it was more structured. mutual friends were hosting a movie night, and you two happened to go.

“sure, what movie are you thinking?” you asked, feeling the nerves bubble up inside of you. you had to keep your cool, absolutely had to.

“i’m thinking the original avengers movie. it’s been a minute so i thought we’re due for a rewatch,” he shrugged, taking a sip of his smoothie. he watched you, observing how your eyes squinted in thought, how your fingers hovered over your keyboard. he watched how your eyes flicked over his expression, and how badly he wanted to do the same. you were beautiful, and the way you sat there, a smile on your face that lit up your eyes; he’s never wanted to kiss you more in his life. suddenly, he was nervous to even be in the same room as you.

“oooh yes, i agree. your place or mine?”

“let’s do my place,” he suggested. his roommate was out of town and wouldn’t be back for a couple of days. so, he had the apartment to himself. which was a good thing.

“great. should i meet you there?”

“no, i’ll pick you up,” he offered. he was bold, trying to keep his confidence as he planned this night out. he didn’t know why he was so nervous, actually, he did. joe liked you, he was falling for you, and it’d hit him like a brick wall. he’s never this nervous for a game, but having a movie night with just you? he thought he was going to be sick.

“oh, what a gentlemen,” you teased, feeling warmth spread across your body. you fell for him, and he was going to be the end of you.

—

you’ve been to his apartment before. it was kept clean, smelled nice, and not to mention it was clean. it was different this time, though. you weren’t going to drop something off, you were going to hang out with him. something very normal but very nerve wracking.

your phone buzzed with a text from joe. ‘i’m here!’ you scrambled to find your things, and once you did, you were out the door.

you walked down the stairs, trying not to trip and fall because of how shaky your legs were. you found his car, and before you could open the door yourself, joe stepped out.

“what’re you doing?” you chuckled, watching as he opened your door for you.

“making my mama proud,” he grinned. you rolled your eyes and shook your head. it was sweet, and god it made you fall for him even faster.

little did you know he was sweating just by opening the door for you.

“i bet she is,” you told him, sincerely. you knew his mom was proud of him. you knew that a lot of people were proud of him. you grew to be one of those people, especially after learning about his experience at ohio state.

joe got in, and started the drive to his place. soft music played over the speakers, but the silence wasn’t awkward. you leaned back in your seat, watching as the world went by. you turned your head, watching as joe had one hand on the wheel and the other on his thigh. why was driving so attractive to you? for a split second you imagined his hand on your thigh, giving you a gentle squeeze. you erased that image; it would never happen.

joe pulled into his place, got out, opened the door for you, and led you up to his room. the whole car ride had him nervous. he kept wringing the wheel, thinking about the night ahead of him. he wanted to tell you how he felt, but what if you didn’t feel the same? what if you rejected him? he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if you rejected him.

he unlocked his door, stepping in behind you.

“home sweet home,” he sighed as he tossed the keys onto the kitchen counter. joe watched as you walked in, blanket in hand, dressed in your comfiest clothes. he wanted you for himself so badly, but not now. he wanted a movie night with his best friend, and he’d have that.

“make yourself at home, i’ll grab some snacks,” he announced. you nodded, taking a seat on the couch. you laid the blanket over your legs as you turned on the tv. joe joined you, a bowl full of pretzels in hand. you raised an eyebrow at him as he sat down.

“pretzels?”

“don’t lie, you love em,” he grinned as he popped one into his mouth. you rolled your eyes, selecting the movie. you cuddled into the couch, facing joe. joe offered you the pretzel bowl, and you took a couple.

“thanks,” you hummed. you looked so soft, so comfortable, and he wanted to lay there with you. he wanted to feel you against him, your fingers through his hair, your lips against his. he fought everything in him to not reach out and hold your hand, or lean against you. it was going to be a long night for him.

—

as the movie came to a close, you adjusted yourself on the couch. the pretzel bowl was empty, and now you and joe faced the tv. you sat next to him, feeling his warmth radiate out from him. you gravitated towards it, leaning against his shoulder. you looped an arm through his, resting your cheek on his shoulder. exhaustion was creeping up on you, threatening to take you hostage. you stayed awake, barely.

joe, however, was electrified. the second he felt you against him he stiffened, but then forced himself to relax. he didn’t want you thinking he didn’t want you to do that. it was the opposite, he’s been silently begging for you to lean on him. he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, his hand resting on your arm. his fingers danced on your exposed skin, and he was hoping he wasn’t freaking you out. you both weren’t big on physical touch; he was lucky if you hugged him. this was a different feeling, one he didn’t want to let go of.

the second you felt his fingers on your arm the butterflies erupted in your stomach. warmth spread across your body, shivers crawling over your body. you wanted his touch on other areas of your body, but you stayed still.

the movie ended, but you stayed there. you didn’t want his touch to leave you, but it was late, and you were falling asleep. you needed to go home, but you were going to be thinking about this night for a long while. you pulled away from him, your cheeks a bright red.

“i love an original 6 movie,” you cleared your throat as you stretched your tight limbs, a yawn escaping your lips.

“me too,” he agreed. it was time to drive you home, the worst part of the night. he didn’t say what he wanted to say, he didn’t tell you how he felt and how you lit up his life. why did he let his nerves, his fears, control him? they didn’t on the field, so why now?

you gathered your things, slipped on your shoes, and got into the car. the drive home almost put you to sleep, especially since the music was low enough to tempt you.

joe pulled into your apartment, parking the car.

“what’re you doing?” you yawned.

“i’m gonna walk you up,”

“no, no you don’t have to do that,” you rubbed your eyes, trying to rub the sleep from them. joe thought it was cute, especially since you were so sleepy.

“please, my mama raised me better,” he told you, getting out of the car. joe and his mama. joe opened your door for you, and you stepped out. he walked with you up to your apartment door, his mind racing. now was his chance, he had to do something.

“we should do movie nights more often,” you suggested.

“we should. maybe we can watch the entirety of the mcu this semester,” joe added as you got to your door. you fiddled with your keys as you unlocked your door. as much as you didn’t want to walk in, you were exhausted.

“thanks for tonight, it was fun,” you smiled sleepily at him. he shoved his hands in his sweats pockets and shrugged.

“don’t mention it,” he watched as you started to walk in to your apartment, and his heart lurched.

“y/n, wait,” he called, grabbing your hand, spinning you to face him. you looked at him with a worried gaze.

“what-” you couldn’t even get the word out before joe’s lips found yours. you were shocked, but before you could process he pulled away. he opened his mouth to speak, but you grabbed his collar and pulled him back down to you. your lips met, and his lips were just as soft as they looked. your hands looped around his neck, playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. his hands wrapped around your waist, bringing you as close as he possibly could.

he couldn’t believe he was kissing you. he couldn’t believe he felt you against him, that you were kissing him. he imagined this for a while, the feeling of you in his arms and the taste of you on his tongue. he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. he smiled, not being able to control himself.

“i’ve waited so long to do that,” he admitted softly. you chuckled, feeling a blush on your cheeks and butterflies in your stomach.

“me too,”

“let me take you out on a date,” he suggested, pulling his forehead from yours. you looked up at him with a twinkle in your eye.

“i’m all yours, burrow,” you hummed, which prompted him to dip his head in, softly kissing you again. you wanted to stay there forever, kissing him on your doorstep, feeling his hands on your body. you never wanted the moment to end. you looked forward to that date, and hopefully, many more to come.

i can’t believe i’ve not written for lsu joe before??? and now he’s all i think about??? anyways, pls enjoy this absolute fluff piece! lsu joe is such a cutie so i had to write for him. hopefully this makes up for the terrible, depressing loss we had last night 😭

[leclercsredhelmet]

So Highschool ✰ Joe Burrow

A/N: Hi hi! Haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been busy writing and editing, fellow Joe Burrow fans I come bearing gifts for everyone! So Highschool is one of my favorite Taylor songs and I had been waiting to write a Joe blurb based on this song so here you go! Hope you all enjoy it <3

“Tell me ‘bout the first time that you saw me”

The balcony doors were wide open and the summer breeze was felt inside the room. Joe had his head in your lap while a book was held in your hands as you read out loud. You had been reading quietly when he entered the room after he had finished watching some game tape. His glasses were on and you smiled, a twin smile spread across his face when he saw you wearing glasses as well. 

Wordlessly he lay on the bed and placed his head in your lap, your fingers weaved their way through his hair as you combed through it softly. “You’re reading The Alchemist again,” he observed. “Yeah, I am,” you replied softly. “Read it to me please,” he said. You chuckled, “I like hearing your voice when you read, it’s soothing,” he said. Placing a soft kiss on his forehead you began to read. 

Joe traced patterns on your bare legs as he listened to your voice. It was soft and you would take pauses whenever a comma came up. Just by your voice, he could tell if the texts had any commas or punctuation marks. “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired for me to find you,” you read and chuckled. Joe chuckled, “It sure did,” he stated and you hummed in agreement. Setting the book aside you leaned down to look at him, he smiled and kissed the tip of your nose. 

“Do you remember when we first met at school?” he asked. Laughing you nodded, “I do, we were nine and I had just moved to Cincinnati,” you said. “It was English class and the only free seat was next to me, your hair was up in two curly pigtails and your glasses were the same color as the Mystery Machine,” he said with a smile and you laughed. “Then you said, cool glasses, I’m Joe,” you said. Joe chuckled “And we sat together in every class, from fourth grade until senior year,” he recalled. Fondly you smiled and recalled your childhood with Joe. 

Flashback

At nine years old you didn’t think you would move to Ohio of all places but your father’s job had brought all of you here. He had accepted a teaching position in Athens, Ohio. The move was a little unexpected due to circumstances you really can’t remember but you arrived during the third week of classes. 

You didn’t know anyone at the school and that terrified you, following the principal he introduced you to your teacher and classmates. There was only one spot available at the front of the classroom next to a light-haired boy with baby-blue eyes.” Cool glasses, I’m Joe” he whispered. With a small stutter, you replied, “Thank you. I’m Y/N.” 

Later in the day, you found out you were neighbors and that was the start of your friendship with Joe. Your parents joked that you would forever be glued at the hip and wouldn’t be a surprise if you got married one day. Little did you both know that you would get married you were engaged as of this moment. 

Joe taught you about football and you in return introduced him to books, he was smart but always said you were the smartest out of the two. “When I make it into the NFL you’re going to be a college professor,” he said matter-of-factly one evening when you were studying. You chuckled, “What makes you so sure?” you countered. Joe shrugged, “I just have that feeling,” he replied. 

Growing up with Joe you never thought you would like him but one day you almost accidentally kissed in the library while he helped you reach for a book. From that day on you realized that you had a crush on your best friend but you never said anything because you were fearful of ruining things. Joe also had that lingering feeling but your eighth-grade selves were too scared to say anything and it wasn’t until high school when he finally decided to tell you. 

High school

Joe had a girlfriend in high school and it pained you a little to watch how happy he was. You were happy for him but couldn’t help your dislike towards the girl after she had cornered you to tell you she didn’t want you near Joe. Naturally, you didn’t listen and Joe noticed you were hiding some discomfort. Hiding your feelings from people came easy to you, but Joe knew you like the back of his hand. Reading you was just as easy as memorizing a playbook, it was second nature to him. One evening while you studied for a science test in his room he confronted you and you had no chance but to tell him. 

The next day he had talked with his girlfriend and she acted normal when he was around but you were aware she was talking about you in the halls. You didn’t find it in you to care but still, the lingering feeling that she truly did not like Joe loomed. No one knew him like you, and no one knew you like him. 

Senior year had come and you were both focused on what lay ahead, Joe was set on making it to college football and you were sure he was going to be there. You were putting in the work as well, your focus was set on Yale. He had been having some trouble with his girlfriend and you had done your best to help him through it. “I think I’m breaking up with her,” he said and your attention drifted from the math homework you were working on. “Are you sure about that?” you asked. “Yeah, I need to focus on finishing what’s left of the year and I don’t love her,” he said. “Oh,” was all you said and he raised an eyebrow. “No hey Joe think this through,” he said with a chuckle. You chuckled weakly. “Joe I’m sorry I can’t help with that, you know that I lack in that department,” you said. “You also don’t like her!” he said with a grin and poked your side. 

Playfully you rolled your eyes, “My dislike towards her is not the point, it’s your relationship anyways,” you said firmly and he knew that was you shutting the topic down. Joe broke up with her the next day and you expected to see him beat up but he was fine but her, well she had made a scene that day and stormed off the field. You watched her and fought back a snicker. 

It was Joe’s last practice before the Homecoming Game and since you were leaving with him you sat on the bleachers to wait for him. A book was perched on your lap and Joe looked at you while he stretched. “Has anyone asked her out to Prom?” one of his teammates asked. “Some but she’s turned them down,” he replied. “What if I ask her, do you think she’ll say yes?” he asked. Joe felt a sense of jealousy wash over him. “She’ll say no,” he snapped. “Damn Joe, chill. It was just a question,” his teammate said, “And that was just an answer,” he said before walking off. 

His mind was racing, the past few weeks he’d spent his spare time wrestling with asking you to prom until he eventually planned something. It was true that you had turned everyone down, and he knew why. You were still holding on to your end of the deal from seventh grade, and he was too. He had asked no girl out and turned down the flock of girls that asked him out to prom. 

Practice was almost done and he looked at you, breaking into a smile you waved and he waved back. The book had disappeared in your bag and he knew that you had most likely finished it halfway through practice. Being friends through the years meant that you’d developed an unspoken routine, you would read before his practice started and occasionally set the book down to observe him and sometimes go as far as to cheer for him. Seeing you clapping for him always brought a smile to his face and pushed him to score more during games. 

A sweaty Joe ran over to you, he set his helmet down and you looked at him with a grin. “Hey Joey,” you said. “Hey Belle,” he said using the nickname he had for you. In response, you giggled, “Are you done?” you asked. “Mhm, we can go soon,” he said while he dried his face with a towel. Wordlessly you handed him his water bottle and he smiled. “It was a good practice, you looked good out there,” You said. He cocked his eyebrow at you and your cheeks flushed, “Playing, I mean” you added clearing your throat. “Of course, nothing else,” he said standing up. You furrowed your brow, he was being a little fidgety but you ignored it. Slinging his bag over his shoulder he said goodbye to his teammates and you walked off the field and got into his car. 

“Do you want to come in?” you asked, “No I’m good, open your window after dinner,” he said. “Okay, is there a reason?” you asked confused “Just open the window Belle,” he said winking. “Don’t do anything stupid,” you said before kissing his cheek and walking inside. 

Joe’s leg was bouncing under the table, “Joe you nervous for the game?” Jimmy asked concerned, “No, it’s something else,” he said. “Is it Y/N?” his dad asked. “How’d you know?” he asked. His parents smiled, “It’s not that hard for us to see it, honey,” his mom said. “You like her,” Jimmy said nudging him. Joe chuckled, “Y-yeah I like her a lot,” he said. “She likes you too, but don’t tell her I said that,” Robin said with a wink. “Go,” Jimmy urged and he darted up the stairs, before opening his room door, he breathed in and out and fixed his hair. 

When he opened his door, his attention went next door. You were lying in bed with a new book held high above your head. Faintly he heard some music playing and took a breath before grabbing the box from under his bed. Your window was open and he walked towards him, he whistled and your head cocked to the side. Climbing out of bed you made it to your window. “You okay Joey?” you asked. “I’m gonna climb in!” he exclaimed. Your eyes went wide, “You’re crazy!” you called back. “Maybe!” he replied. “Use the front door dumbass you can hurt yourself,” you stated. 

Joe ignored you and grabbed the box as he climbed up, he could hear you muttering and he chuckled. Carefully he walked over to the edge of the roof and jumped. Your hand shot out and he grabbed it, you were hanging out the window. “You’re fucking crazy!” You said and he just laughed as he pulled himself up. With a yelp, you tumbled backward and fell on the floor. Joe’s arms were protectively around you, your noses were touching. Gulping you pulled apart and slapped his shoulder, he laughed and helped you both up. 

“Why in the heavens did you jump out the window? You could’ve hurt yourself, Joey,” you said. “Not the point, here. I got this for you,” he replied while handing you a black cardboard box. Smiling you grabbed his hand and you sat in your bed. The black box was between you and carefully you undid the blue ribbon. Opening the box you saw some pictures you’d both taken over the years. Your eyes watered a little and Joe wiped a stray tear from your face. A copy of your favorite book was in there and you grabbed it, “Was this the one I gave to you?” you inquired. Joe nodded, “Open it, there’s something in there,” he said. Opening the book your eyes scanned across the dedication page and saw a post-it with his handwriting. Will you be my prom date?

Laughing you looked at him, “Yes, I’ll be your prom date!” you said and hugged him. Joe pulled back and kissed you sweetly. The action shocked you but you kissed back, “This might be late because you already got into Yale and I’m going to Ohio State but, I love you, like actually love you,” he said looking at you. “And I know it’s crazy because Yale is nine hours and thirty-two minutes away but I want to date you, so will you be my girlfriend?” he asked. Chuckling you grabbed his hands, “I love you too and yes I’ll be your girlfriend,” you said with a laugh. 

“We’re really doing this huh,” he said while holding your hands. “Finally,” you said with a laugh. Joe laughed, “Would’ve been sooner if I had just asked you in freshman year,” he said. “Maybe it happened now because it was meant to be that way,” you said with a smile. “Since when did you know?” he asked. Reaching up you stroked his cheek, “It started in eighth grade, the day you reached up to get me the book and we almost kissed,” you said with a chuckle. “Me too,” he said with a laugh. 

“I was scared so I never said anything because I didn’t want to lose you,” you spoke. Joe pressed his forehead against yours, “Belle I don’t think nothing could’ve made you lose me,” he said. “You’re so cheesy, Joseph!” you exclaimed and he laughed. You stayed there for a few minutes, “You should go, you need to rest. Friday is a big day,” you said. Joe pecked your lips, “Wear my shirt, please” he said. You nodded, “Always, the back door is unlocked c’mon,” you said. 

Sneaking out of your room you led him outside through the backyard and crossed into his yard. His hand was on the door outside and as you turned to leave he grabbed your waist. Spinning you around he pressed a quick kiss to your lips and you smiled before kissing back and leaving him there to go inside. 

When he made it to his room he waved at you from the window and drew a heart in the air, you giggled and mimicked him. 

“Truth dare spin bottles, you know how to ball, l know Aristotle”

You had finished your degree and had come to Baton Rouge for Joe’s last game with LSU. They had won the NCAA and you smiled when you saw him hoist the trophy over his head. His teammates cheered and you laughed while wiping a tear from your face. Both of your parents were there along with Jimmy and Robin, you waited for him in the field and you grinned once he saw you. Last month he won the Heisman Trophy and you couldn’t have been prouder. Everything he had worked so hard for was falling into place, the next step was the NFL and you were certain he was going to get drafted. 

With a grin plastered on his face and backward cap, he ran over to you and picked you up. Spinning you around you giggled and held on to him, gently he set you down and dipped his head to kiss you. You smiled into the kiss and pulled apart, “I’m proud of you Joey,” you said holding onto his face. “Right back at ya Belle,” he said and you smiled. His parents hugged him and so did yours, his arm was around you and you looked up at him with a dopey grin and love-filled eyes.

You were with him at his parent's house when he got drafted first overall for the Cincinnati Bengals. When you got hired at the University of Cincinnati the next day he was by your side. Both of you had shared victories and defeats together, after all these years it was amazing to see that your support for each other never wavered. You had seen each other grow over the years, you’d supported each other through the ups and downs and when either of you needed an extra nudge you were there. 

End of Flashback

“Belle, you’re even better the Heisman and the Lombardi,” Joe said and you chuckled. “I love you too,” you replied. Joe kissed your forehead, “Hey you were right all those years ago,” you said. Joe chuckled knowing what you meant, “You’re a Literature professor in college and I’m in the NFL,” he said. Laughing you kissed him, “You know how to ball and I know Aristotle.” He looked at you and grinned, with every glance, laugh, kiss and touch you felt like it was high school all over again. 

(all photo credits go to the respective owners)

[bansheeboyy]

Describe each of your housemates and how you’d wreck them each in the stocks

Connor - A rugby boy, popular and charismatic, olive skin and a banging bod he doesn’t mind showing off. See: Tom’s torture.

Tom - Also a rugby player, paler and brunette but also thick with meaty muscle, especially his thighs and ass. Would love to have both rugby boys in the stocks at the same time, the ones with hand holes as well so they’re forced up close and personal. I’d pit them against one another, really bring out their competitive side. Big feet bared and taut, shining with oil, as I tell them that the first to say their code word frees themselves and condemns the other to three hours of uninterrupted tickling. Gasp! How savage. Would they betray their sporting pal for a reprieve from the tickling? Little do they know that they get released from the stocks, only to be clamped into others the next room over and given the same treatment, but for four hours this time. Betrayal should never be rewarded. And later on we could have them both nicely displayed in their undies on a horizontal X table for me to toy with.

Joe - Smart and almost nerdy, but still definitely in the cool and suave category. Dark hair and tanned, he’s got a banging body despite never going to the gym. He’s hot but is noticeably less muscular than the rest, which is super hot in its own way. For him I think I’d like to test his recall ability. I’d have Troy and Toby Springs from TA put him through his paces in the humiliator, and then the rack, testing him on facts from his course, the punishment for wrong or too-slow answers being - as you might have guessed - cruel tickling. He’d start fully clothed, and each wrong answer would result in clothing being tugged or snipped off…with nudity not being off the table. Troy and Toby are some of the best verbal teases I’ve seen, and I’d love to watch them cruelly mock and taunt Joe as he cackles through his revision, introduced to a learning technique he’s never, ever dreamt of. I hope he’s been working hard, for his sake…

Elliot - a typical English lad, cocky, charismatic, cheeky. He’s lanky and brunette, lean and fit but not overly muscular. This one I’d have naked, kneeling on a padded pillar at my waist height with his bare feet dangling off the edge, his arms chained to the ceiling in a Y shape and his body slathered in oil. Blindfolded. I wouldn’t want him to know it was me putting him through what he’s about to go through, because I’m about to be very thorough. No tool or piece of kit would be off limits for Elliot. His ticklish feet would be just the beginning. Let’s just say I might have to put plastic sheeting down.

And of course afterwards they’d all be heading for a milking session. Couldn’t just waste how flustered and worked up they all are, could we? Although I would call ahead and warn that Elliot’s tank may be just a little bit drained already….

[joesheistyy]

Red Nosed Boy

The Bills and Bengals game was approaching quickly. Which meant the team would need to be out practicing in the cold. Joe hated the cold, but he loved his team and he knew he needed to get the job done.

Tuesday morning practice had rolled around and it was breezy with a temperature of 24°. Joe was dreading leaving the cozy house and he made sure the whole world knew it.

“I love my job and I love what I do, but I do not want to go today,” he groaned, pulling you closer to him in bed.

“I know babe. It’s cold so it’s hard to leave, but you don’t make millions for nothing,” you replied, turning to face him. Sometimes a little gaslighting could make Joe get up and go without much more complaining.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he croaked out as he tossed the blankets off of his body, exposing himself to the harsh cold air of the bedroom.

Joe headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Brushing his teeth, shaving, and putting on layers to attempt to keep his body warmth in for practice.

You soon got out of bed, checking the thermostat the moment you got downstairs. The 70° temperature in the house wouldn’t be nearly warm enough for Joe when he got home.

Joe had left quickly, realizing he had to face the snow flurries and idiots who freak out on the roads when even a single snowflake falls. As badly as he didn’t want to practice outside, he hid that and encouraged his teammates that it’s what needed to be done to better the team in preparation for the game against Buffalo.

You continued your house work and relaxation while Joe was gone. You tried to conjure up some ideas to warm him up for when he arrived home. You enjoyed your hot coffee under a cozy blanket on the couch, feeling a little guilty that Joe was out in the cold. However, he did make millions to do that, so you shut your guilt down quickly.

You heard the garage door open, and in walks a cold, red-nosed Joe. That poor boy struggled to warm up when it was this cold and breezy out. Not even blasting the heat in his car on the way home could do much.

“Hi baby, how was practice?” You asked, going up to hug him.

“Cold,” he mumbled out, pulling you in closer to try to use your body heat to warm him up.

"What can we do to get you warmed up, baby?" you questioned, looking up to kiss his cold chin.

"Dunno, even my bones feel cold," he slumped into your body, resting his weight onto you.

"Let's start with getting rid of your practice stuff. There's no way that's warm anymore," You said, helping him drop his bag of equipment.

You lead Joe upstairs to change. You had already put some clean clothes in the towel warmer for him. He headed for the bathroom, considering taking a warm bath. He decided against it, considering that involved more effort than he wanted to commit to it.

"Any warmer?" you ask after he came out of the bathroom in his warm Nike sweatpants and looney tunes crew neck, bengals hat still on.

"A bit, but it's one of those cold feelings that takes hours to go away. I hate, hate, hate it," he groaned, walking out of the bedroom. You followed him back downstairs. Joe headed for the thermostat, turning the heat up to 74. You hated being hot, so keeping the house cool was typically the way to go. But in this case, you would happily deal so Joe could be comfortable. No one needed him sick before the Bills game.

Joe then laid down on the couch. He took the thick fuzzy Ugg blanket and draped it over his legs. You had laid out a heating pad for him that he put his back on. He would do anything to try to warm up.

You approached the couch, kneeling down to lay a kiss on his cold cheek. "How about some tea?" you suggested, seeing his eyes light up a little bit.

"That sounds good babe, do we have green tea?" he asked, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders.

"We do! I'll get that started for you," you joked like you worked at Starbucks. He laughed in response.

You made Joe tea in his favorite mug. He wasn't a coffee drinker, but he had a few favorite mugs for tea.

"Thanks baby," he said, leaning up to take the tea from you.

"Have any other ideas to warm up?" you asked, hoping that something had come to mind.

"Lay with me?" he suggested, opening up the blanket to let you under with him.

You crawled under the blanket with Joe, the touch of his skin still cool. He grabbed the remote, turning on Looney Tunes. His arms wrapped around your back, holding you tight.

Your eyes fluttered shut as the outside atmosphere became white with powered snow. Joe's arms wrapped around you, his body slowly but surely warming up.

[hannahssimblr]

The marquee holds extraordinary heat. It reminds me of the family holiday I took with Maureen and her kids to Florida, that phenomenal, stupefying heat, and the air like soup. I felt too tired to do anything but swim around in the resort pool for those two weeks, but that was the whole point. We went to laze about. I bobbed on a big yellow pool floater while the others slept on the deck chairs until the sun dipped over Daytona Beach and it was bearable enough to move again. 

Here, light permeates through polyester walls, diffusing a blue hue, and the air is constrictive like a panic attack. It smells too, of hot plastic and grass, and all the people who didn’t queue for the showers this morning. 

“It’s gross in here,” I comment, bellowing already because every voice in the whole marquee bounces off the walls and raises the volume to incomparable levels. 

Joe laughs and makes fun of my accent for Kasper’s benefit. “Gross, man, totally freakin’ gross, my dude.”

“Do you want to stay or go?”

“It’s Crystal Castles!”

“Okay, so, stay?”

“Yeah, duh.” With a hand on my back, Joe propels me into the crowd, where we push through, closer and closer to the front. The atmosphere is so unpleasant, so hot, so stuffy, and even though I’ve been drinking all afternoon, my head still twists with unwanted thoughts. I feel my phone vibrate. 

It’s Jen, as expected. 

Where are you? We’re going to see Slash now. Also, Evie has asked where you are a few times. 

I shove it back into my shorts pocket, and something crinkles against my hand.

Ah. I had forgotten about this.

I subtly pull out the baggie from yesterday, the one from Weed Alison, and turn it over in my hand. I know I shouldn’t, that I tell everyone who asks me that don’t do any of this anymore, but these little pink pills lure me in like a siren. They hold promises of escapism, if only just for an hour.

And then, what didn’t even seem like an option yesterday seems almost sensible today.

“Hey, do you want one?” I ask Joe, “you and Kasper. I’ve three.”

He cranes his neck. “What’s that?” 

“Ket.”

“Oh, I’ve never done that.”

“You want to try it?”

He looks to Kasper for reassurance, and his friend shrugs noncommittally. “Well, what’s it like?”

“Pretty strange.”

“Okay,” he says. I tip two tablets into his palm and one, the last, into my mouth.

He winces as we dry-swallow. “Ugh, it’s disgusting.” 

I suppress a cough. “Did you expect gourmet?”

“I didn’t expect pure shite.”

“Well, it’s probably worth it.”

“Probably?”

As I watch the stage, I eagerly anticipate the moment my soul separates from my body while the roadies prepare. Once the gig starts, the ground begins to sway like a fairground ride. It’s the same thrill too, the same loss of control as when you’re floating through the air, when the floor gives way beneath your feet and you’re weightless, like something caught on the wind. 

“Woah.” Joe cries at one point, and I am viewing both him and Kasper through a fisheye lens. I just laugh, because everything is silly, and nothing matters the way it did this morning. Thoughts derail like train carriages tipped off the line, and my brain emerges from a pool of cool water, washed clean of every thought that has ever held significance in my whole life. 

I was sceptical of Ketamine once, back before I understood it, and clung tightly to the edgy, but familiar high I got from cocaine. It was Alison who gave me some at a house party last summer, my first bump, and with plasticine limbs we danced in the kitchen to someone’s dad’s CD collection, with a sense that we could do whatever we liked, and it wouldn’t be weird. I hadn’t felt that way since I was nine. 

Kaleidoscopic lights mesmerise me in the marquee. The music is strange, but perhaps it is supposed to be. All music is strange, if you think about it. Who decides which beats and melodies sound good, anyway? How do we know that? The singer decides to crowd surf and comes close enough for me to touch her boot. It would be funny if I took it off. This is a fact. I lank at the laces while Kasper laughs, this maniacal, unselfconscious laugh, and I join in. I don’t know what I’ll do with the boot once it’s off, but it’s the funniest possible thing to do. Maybe I’ll display it in my college apartment one day, say it belonged to Alice Glass, and have to argue with everyone that doesn’t believe me. 

“I feel weird.” Joe says. 

“That’s good.” 

“No, I think- I feel wrong.”

“It’s not wrong. Don’t make it wrong.”

“I feel wrong,” and I look at him, with his pitch black eyes panicked, and then he heaves.

And he bolts out of the crowd.

“Oh.” I look at Kasper, and him at me, and realise my teeth are sweating. “Do you think it’s bad ket?”

“I don’t know.” He says, and I'm suddenly aware that if I attempt any more words, I will throw them up. 

Throwing up in a crowd is not the ideal place to do it, I know this, but it is difficult to escape with legs that feel lead-weighted, when the earth is tilted so dramatically that I am scaling it. 

“I’m going to vom.” I announce, and a path clears so quickly that it feels biblical. 

I hit the back of the tent, and it goes everywhere. Everywhere. It splashes on my shoes and up the walls, and Joe is there too, my partner in crime, vomiting just as violently as I am. I wonder if I should pat him on the back, or give him a high five, or something.

By the time Kasper falls in line and completes our trio, security is already on us, and all that seemed so easy and funny before now fills me with unspeakable dread.

“Outside,” one barks, grabbing fistfuls of my t-shirt and hauling me toward the door. “You’re pissed.”

“No,” I protest hoarsely, “We’re fine.”

Kasper retches again, inspiring another wave of nausea within me.

“Fuck sake!” the bouncer cries as I get sick on his trousers. “Youse are a disgrace. Get out.”

And we find ourselves the grass, lying face up as the clouds drift by, and the world is still tilting, like it wants to slide us right off the face of it.

“Should we do something?” Joe manages. 

“Like what?”

“Get a doctor?”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” I say, before I roll over to the side and throw up in the soil. 

Neil, the volunteer nurse, is very kind and patient with me for the time I spend in his company. 

“I imagine it’s all out of your system now.” He tells me. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” I sigh, staring up at the ceiling I spent the last hour getting to know. I haven’t been sick since I got here, it seems I yacked it all out on the field, but I have been so thoroughly prodded and poked that I’ve become irritable, bored, even, as time ticks on and the festival rages on outside the flimsy doors of the medical tent. I turn my head to him, in his blue scrubs and the stethoscope he used on me slung around his neck, and the fear of his judgement arrives. It’s how I know the ket is gone. “That’s never happened to me before, by the way. That reaction was a new thing.”

“You said you’ve taken ketamine before?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, at festivals like this, you just don’t know where it’s coming from. It’s everywhere, but it’s so hard to know what exactly you’re getting. Those pills could have been cut with anything.”

I smile weakly. “Are you telling me off?”

“Not really. I’m just letting you know.”

“Cut with what, exactly?”

“Anything.” He reiterates. “I’m talking talcum powder to heroin and everything in between.”

“Ouch.”

He folds his arms and leans against a table. “Do you want to get in touch with a parent or guardian?”

“Is that mandatory?”

“It’s not, but you might find the best thing for you to do now is to get home and rest. You might like to let a parent know what’s happened today.”

I laugh, the kind of hollow, death-rattle of a laugh that could have come from a sick, elderly man. “Tempting, but no thanks. I think I’ll stay.”

Neil’s mouth flattens into a line, and he gives me a nod. “Well, I’ll just advise you to take it easy, right? And if you feel off at any point, please come straight back here. We’re open all night.”

“But in your medical opinion, I’m fine, right?”

“Yes, I think you’re fine.”

“Oh, good.” I sit up in the trolley and plant shaky, stockinged feet on the floor. “Because there are a few more bands I really wanted to see.”

“I understand.” He says, though he looks as though he doesn’t. “But listen.”

I look up. 

“Be wise, Jude.”

I laugh and lace up my vomit-splattered shoes. “Neil, I’m always wise.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[guide-for-the-untrained-eye]

ATTENTION ATTENTION STARKID, PULP, TCB, SMOSH AND SW FANS!!!

I apologise now for the many tags, but this is important, as many algorithms have just been pushing down these.

I come as a messenger of the good word of Tinlightenment to remind y’all that this Tin Can KS is ALL OR NOTHING! This means if we don’t get that last 90k, NONE of these are going to happen.

If y’all liked Headless from Shipwrecked’ Comedy (which idk how yoh wouldn’t lmao), we’ve got some amazing people from Headless in these projects, like James, Tom Lenk, the obvious babes with the bros, Curt, and OF COURSE MK! Thats just for Spy Another Day, as we have folks like Gabe in Solve It Squad and which also has Ashley from Poe Party AND The Lizzie Bennet Diaries! I feel like all these amazing amazing people deserve the chance to do more projects with each other in this circle!

I also know many of you like Joe Walker, and Joe said he’d come back for this, BUT said on stream that if they don’t get this, he’s not coming back to acting AT ALL. And I know no one wants that, let’s not let Joe down there!

And for a bonus draw to the StarKid fandom, especially the OG potterheads, just like with the Wiggly, Corey will be giving away a copy of the AVPSY script to a backer. If you want to put in for the drawing, just make sure you have backed!

Now to the Pulp fans, we’ve got 3/4 main leads in the Spy Another Day show! We would get Mariah as the lounge singer at the start, James as the informant, and Curt as, well, Agent Curt Mega. But ONLY if we get this!

As for y’all Smoshheads (do y’all have a fandom name idk?), the only way we get the amazing trio of Arasha, Angela, and Chase on The Great Debate is if we GET THIS LAST 90K! If y’all enjoy Arasha lying to everyone and the reactions to that, The Great Debate is right up your alley, I guarantee!

Not to mention the NEW NEW projects like Gross Prophets AND Intelligent Life which we just will NOT get if we don’t reach the goal, and that quite genuinely would be so upsetting, especially with Gross Prophets as this is the FIRST TCB project to have two AMAZING women (Ali Gordon and Angela Parrish) taking the helm on original music which would be AWESOME to see!

And for overseas peeps this also allows them to do shows out fo the US for the FIRST TIME EVER! Not only will they be doing a smaller version of Spy Another Day, but the reason they’ll be in the area is to also do the EDINBURGH FRINGE FEST with Solve it Squad which would be MASSIVE! Plus we will also get stuff in Adelaide as well! Alongside those we WILL get digital tickets for many of them, so even if you aren’t in the area, don’t let that deter you from pledging!

If anyone is waiting because they don’t have money now but will at the end, DO NOT WORRY! Just like with all Kickstarters prior and in the future, the money doesn’t come out it until AFTER the campaign is over! So get those pledges in now babes! Please we need all of your help!

Please, please go to tinlightenment.com and pledge, even 10-20 dollars is enough to help the bros pull off so many of these cool projects that ONLY can happen with your help. If you like any of these creators, please please help!

[phillycheesesteakcore]

The Sleepover

CONTAINS SEASON 1 SPOILERS

word count: 4.6k

cw: mostly fluff, some angst if you squint, a little suggestive

synopsis: Glenn still has a house on Earth. it mostly stays empty, except of course when a certain druid uses it as a place to crash occasionally. this is what happens when the owner of the house happens to catch said druid when he comes home unexpectedly

Henry shook his head, pushing that last thought away and dragging himself to his feet. He could almost see Mercede’s smug smirk over his dumb crush. He made his way to the living room, dropping the bag he’d brought with him on the floor and collapsing on the sofa. He stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. It was quiet here. So quiet. In a few minutes he’d schlep himself off the couch and pop the pastries he’d picked up from Trader Joe’s in the air fryer to toast. In a few minutes he’d actually enjoy a meal that didn’t end in an impromptu food fight. In a few minutes he might even take a shower without having to worry about anyone barging into the bathroom without so much a knock. But right now, right now he’d just lie there and stare at the ceiling, enjoying the silence.

Henry looked around furtively. This was ridiculous. He really should stop this. This would be the last time. You said that a dozen times ago, a little voice said in his head. He ignored that voice and turned the key in the lock as quietly as he could, slipping soundlessly into the house. Closing the door behind him, he leaned back against it and sunk to the floor. Eyes shut, he simply breathed in the air of the empty house, smelling of leather and guitar polish and the faintest whiff of weed. Just like him.

Glenn pulled into his driveway and just sat there parked, looking up at the house. He could’ve just made a portal inside, but he’d had to pick his car up from the mechanic anyways, and it was nice to drive around a bit. Most times he came back to Earth he just hung out with Nick or the other dads and their kids, so it’d been a while since he actually took a spin around San Dimas. Most of it was the same, but there were a few new sights to see. He was just glad to be home. Hell was cool and all, but it was still Hell.

Grabbing his duffle bag and the bags of groceries and other things he’d picked up from the store, he got out of the car and headed towards the door.

“Glenn, honey?” an old voice called over, “Is that you?”

“Yes Ms. Dolores,” he replied with a grin, making his way over the low fence that marked the property line, “it’s me”

“It’s so nice to see you” his geriatric neighbor said genially, gently pinching his cheeks, “I swear I see less and less of you these days. Where’ve you been?”

“Nowhere suitable for your ladylike ears to hear,” Glenn said with a wink.

“Oh, stop it,” she said with a cheeky smile, “if I were twenty years younger, I’d give you a run for your money.”

“I think we both know if you were twenty years younger, I wouldn’t stand a chance, Ms. Dolores,” Glenn said. She playfully swatted his shoulder.

“You stop with that talk now, or else you’ll make your boyfriend jealous. I think he’s inside.” she said. Glenn quirked an eyebrow.

“Boyfriend?”

“You know; greasy blonde hair, cargo shorts, Birkenstocks? Kind of cute in a crunchy way.”

“Oh right, him,” Glenn said, slow smile spreading across his face, amused.

“Has that new salt and pepper in your hair made you as forgetful as me, or do you just have so many paramours it’s hard to keep track of them all?” she asked sardonically.

“I’m not dignifying that with a response.” Glenn replied, giving her a kiss on the cheek in goodbye and heading towards his own home, “You take care of yourself.”

“You too honey” she called, going back to what she’d been doing.

Glenn approached the front door, fishing his spare key out of the secret compartment in the house number by the doorbell. He was about to put it in and turn the lock when a thought occurred to him. Instead, he slipped the key in his pocket and simply tried the doorknob, finding it open just like he suspected. Slipping inside as quietly as he could, he looked around and listened for anyone else inside. Sure enough, there was light spilling out into the hallway from the direction of the kitchen and he could hear a quiet humming coming from there as well.

Henry had finally pulled himself off the couch and made his way to the kitchen to make himself a snack. He was absentmindedly reading the ingredients lest on the back of the packaging when the air fryer let out a little trill indicating it was done. After carefully folding up and tucking the cardboard box in one of the recycling bins, Henry grabbed a plate from the cupboard and started putting pasties on it.

“By all means, make yourself at home,” a voice said from behind him. Henry yelped and jumped with a start, almost dropping his plate. Whipping around, he saw a not-so-amused looking Glenn Close leaning against the doorframe, duffle bag slung over his shoulder, groceries in his arms.

“Glenn! H-hi!” Henry stuttered, “Listen, I can explain.”

Glenn just walked over to the kitchen island, setting the duffle bag on one of the tall stools pulled up against it and the grocery bags on top of it. He started pulling things out of the bags and walked over to the cupboard to put them away, peeking his head back out from behind the open cupboard door.

“Go ahead, explain.” he said, going right back to putting the things away.

“R-right. Um, well, Glenn, you’re probably wondering what I’m doing in your house.” Henry stammered out, still stood nervously by the air fryer.

“Uh-huh.” Glenn moved over to the fridge, sliding past Henry in the narrow space between the kitchen island and the counter. Henry felt the heat of him as he went by, shivering just a tiny bit. He shook his head, gathering himself before going on.

“D’you— do you remember that time we needed a speaker on short notice and you said I could borrow one from your place?”

“Yeah.” Glenn said from the refrigerator, sniffing suspiciously at a jug of juice he’d left behind.

“Well, I, uh, never got around to giving you back your house key.”

“Clearly,” He decided to throw it out just to be safe. Going over to where the trash can was, he noticed the recycling bins. “These new?”

“Uh, y-yeah.”

“Huh,” Glenn said before throwing away the bottle. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed, just staring at Henry.

“Look, man, I’m sorry for crashing your place and using your stuff and moving things around. I honestly didn’t mean to keep your key, I really just forgot to give it back right away, and then I never had it on me when you were around. I know I shouldn’t be here when you’re not home, or I should’ve at least asked,” Henry burst out in a rush, “it was meant to be just a one-time thing but then it came a habit before I realized it, and I’m really, really sorry and I— are you laughing?”

“No it’s— keep going man it’s—” Glenn cleared his throat and tried to put his serious face back on but just doubled over laughing again, leaning on Henry for support. “You just looked like kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Seriously, what am I gonna do, ground you? It’s fine man.”

Henry sagged against the counter, relieved and slightly annoyed. “That wasn’t funny Glenn.”

Glenn looked up, face nearly split in two with a grin. “Come on, it was a little funny.”

Henry could feel the weight of him, catch a whiff of that smoky, almost spicy scent that clung to him. Gently shoving him off, he cleared his throat asked “When’d you get back?”

“This morning. I picked my car up from the shop and decided to a spin around town. I actually ran into my neighbor just outside. You’re over here quite a bit, aren’t you?” Glenn asked, leaning in even closer and playfully flicking Henry’s cheek, “She thinks you’re my boyfriend.”

Henry turned beet red and spluttered. “Sh-she saw me? I’m not over here that ofte— She r-really thinks tha— I can’t believe she’d say something li—”

“Relax,” Glenn said, resting a hand on Henry’s shoulder, “I don’t think she’s exactly going around telling people that. Besides, you could do a lot worse than me.” With a wink, he turned back to the kitchen island, he grabbing his duffle bag and heading out the door. “I’m gonna go shower real quick, I’ll be right back.”

Henry once again sagged against the kitchen counter, chuckling to himself. He felt windblown, but that was just the thing about Glenn, wasn’t it?

He was just sitting down at the table with his snacks when his phone rang. His wife’s face filled up the screen.

“Hola, mi amor,” Mercedes trilled, “just wanted to let you know that Ricky picked up the boys for an impromptu sleepover with their cousins. Me and some of the girls from the station are going out to get some drinks so I might be back late. You’re at Glenn’s anyway right? So you’ll be fine. Say hi to him for me.”

“How’d you know he was in town?” Henry asked.

“Gloria ran into him at the mechanic’s,” her expression turned mischievous, “try not to embarrass yourself too much, you know how you can get.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Henry said, blushing furiously.

“Oh come now, mi león, don’t be coy. Remember that cute barista in Quito? Or that lovely couple in Amsterdam? And we can’t forget how you first were with me when—”

“Alright, I get it.” Henry said.

“Get what?” Glenn asked as he came into the kitchen. He had a towel wrapped low around his waist and another in his hands drying his hair. He came over to where Henry was sitting and looked over his shoulder. “Hey Mercedes. Looking radiant as always.”

“Thank you Glenn, great to see you,” she replied, “well, I’ve got to run. I’m carpooling with Gloria, and you know how she hates to be left waiting. You boys have fun. Te amo mi amor, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Get what?” Glenn asked again after Mercedes hung up.

“It’s nothing,” Henry said quickly. He looked at Glenn. He was still drying off his long salt-and-pepper hair, and evidently hadn’t bothered to dry off much else yet. Water droplets glistened on his skin under the kitchen lights, and Henry struggled not to stare. “You’re dripping all over the kitchen.”

“And you’re changing the subject. Besides, it’s my kitchen. I’ll drip where I like.” Glenn said.

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m a demon now, remember? We have a much warmer internal temperature than humans.” He took Henry’s hand and placed it on his bare chest. Sure enough, the heat was unlike anything he’d ever felt before. He could feel the strong thump of Glenn’s heartbeat under his skin, he wondered if that had been affected too by his transformation. He realized he’d been staring too long and snatched his hand away.

“Oh, um, I guess you will.” He laughed nervously. “Mercedes was just calling to let me know that the twins were taken care of for the night and she was going out with friends.”

“Great. You should spend the night. We’ve got a lot to catching up to do.”

“Aren’t you going over to Jodie’s to hang out with Nick and them?”

“Jodie always makes a big stink if I show up without giving them a heads up when I’m coming around. I’ll go tomorrow.” He leaned in, placing a hand on the table with a smirk, “What, you don’t want to spend some quality time with your good friend Glenn?”

“It’s not like that,”

“Alright then. You go shower. I don’t care if you think rain is nature’s shower or whatever. I’ll order pizza from that new place I saw in town. You know if they’re any good?”

“Hey!” Henry said, slightly offended, “And yes, they are. They’ve got great vegan options too.”

“Fantastic. Now shoo, off you go.” Glenn started looking up the place he’d seen on his phone, “I’ll order for you too don’t worry.”

“Fine,” with a sigh Henry started to get up.

“Up the stairs, second door on the right,” Glenn called after him.

“Yeah I know.” Henrey said back.

“Oh I forgot, you practically own the place.”

“Shut up!” Henry spluttered, “And put some clothes on, I don’t care how hot you are.” He immediately wanted to stuff the words back in his mouth.

“What was that?” Glenn asked, Henry could practically hear that smugness in his voice.

“Nothing!” and with that he raced up the stairs, hearing Glenn cackling with laughter behind him.

Glenn knocked on the bathroom door, entering when he heard a muted response. Henry was stood there barefoot in only his cargo shorts, squinting at the back of a shampoo bottle.

“I brought you a towel,” Glenn said, handing it over to him, “what’re you doing?”

“Thanks,” Henry said, slinging it over his shoulder absentmindedly, “I’m just trying to figure out how eco-friendly this is.”

“Please,” Glenn scoffed, “you think I just let any old garbage chemicals in this hair? You got nothing to worry about.” To demonstrate, he let his hair down and fall to its full length reaching past his waist. Henry’s expression softened.

“I guess you’re right.” He said.

“Of course I am. Food’ll be here in about twenty minutes. When you’re done you can just put your clothes in that basket, I’ll throw ‘em in the laundry.” With that, Glenn left the bathroom and headed downstairs. He collapsed on the sofa in the living room. Henry had been there, he realized. He could smell that musky, piney scent of him. A faint smile played at his lips. He should probably get back to his room and finish unpacking, but he just wanted to lay there for a bit. A couple minutes later the doorbell rang. Heaving himself off the couch, he got up to go answer it. “Food’s here!” he yelled upstairs to Henry.

“Alright, I’ll be down in a minute!” Henry called back.

Glenn took the takeout out to the back porch and put it all on the picnic table out there. He could hear Henry come downstairs. “Out here!” he hollered. When Henry came out wearing his robe, he stopped in tracks.

“Oh sorry,” Henry said a little sheepishly, “is it alright that I borrowed this? I didn’t have anything else to wear.”

“Uh, yeah, it’s fine man,” Glenn replied after a beat, “Sorry, I should’ve left something out for you.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m alright.” Henry stared at the mountain of food laid out on the table. “Are the others coming over too?”

“Nope, just us,” Glenn said with a grin “I eat a lot more than I used to on account of being a—”

“Demon, right” Henry sat down as Glenn inspected the pizza box labels and handed one off to him.

“This is for you,” he said, handing him two smaller bags as well, “and I got you a salad and some garlic bread too. It’s vegan, I asked, don’t worry.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“I thought you might want to eat watching your favorite show.” Glenn said. Looking up, Henry saw that, sure enough, the sun was setting in a gorgeous array of oranges and pinks and reds, streaked with vibrant shots of blue.

“Thanks,” Henry said with a sight chuckle, “I gotta say Glenn, you are the nicest demon I know.”

“Don’t let anyone know,” Glenn said, “I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Sure.” Henry just rolled his eyes. After a moment he asked, “What is that like, being a demon?”

Glenn didn’t answer.

“If that’s too personal I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer.”

“No no, it’s” Glenn sighed and took another beat before answering, “that’s just the thing. It’s great. My senses are heightened, I’m stronger, I don’t get sick. It’s a better body than I ever had before.” He looked out into the backyard for a moment. “Over there in that corner there used to be a crabapple tree. When Nick was a little kid, he and some of his friends ate a bunch that they’d picked from the schoolyard over there and a little tree ended up growing. There was a playset too. He begged me and Morgan to get it for him on a trip to Costco. Hell, I had to buy this picnic table like the one we used to have. It took me forever to find the exact same type but I did. There’s nothing here that proves I was ever anything to either of them, and I don’t even have the same body I was a husband and father in.”

Henry put a hand on Glenn’s shoulder. “I— I’m sorry I asked.”

“No, it’s— it’s fine man.” Glenn ran a hand through his hair, “It’s not your fault. I— I’m glad you’re here.”

“Even though I broke in?” Henry smiled.

“Pfft, yeah,” he looked over at Henry, “Why did you come here? I’m not mad or anything, just, why here?”

“You— you know I love my boys,” Henry started, chewing on his lip, “but it’s no secret that they can be— difficult. Even before, well, everything, I used to have to get a way every now and again. Stay an extra hour at the museum, that sort of thing. But since we came back, things have been different. And of course they have, of course they have. It would be unfair for me to expect everything to go right back to normal, whatever normal even is anymore. But, Glenn, my sons feel like strangers to me. I’m— I’m reaching out with love and it’s like it means nothing. Lark is so angry, all the time. And he’s hurt, and I know this, and I want to help, but he just won’t let me. He won’t even let me get close. And Sparrow, Sparrow, the poor kid is tearing himself in two. Trying to keep the peace, trying to mediate, trying to be a good brother. And I’m afraid he doesn’t have room for himself anymore. And I can see this, and I can do nothing, they won’t even let me try. I— being in that house, it’s… I have no words for it, Glenn. And so I run away, like a coward. And I end up here, where I can just be alone, without pitying glances from coworkers who know my kids used to come with me all the time, or know-it-all comments about teenage rebellion.”

After a minute, Glenn said, “You’re a good dad Henry.”

Henry looked up sharply. “I didn’t say all that for you to tell—”

“I know. But I wouldn’t’ve said it if I didn’t mean it. We both know what shitty dads are like. And I know that just not being a shitty dad doesn’t make you a good one. But you’re a good dad Henry.”

“Thanks Glenn.” Henry said after a minute.

“Yeah.” Glenn looked up at the house. “Thanks for staying with me tonight. I’ll be honest I was relieved when I found out you were here. I— I don’t like being here by myself. The house being so empty just feels so wrong. And you can come over whenever you’d like. Someone should stay here. I don’t know if I count.”

“Okay,” Henry said softly. They ate in silence for a few minutes. A drone buzzed overhead. Glenn looked over at Henry with a wicked smile.

“Watch this.” He got up from the picnic table and walked down the back porch steps into the backyard. As he went, horns sprouted out of his head. He took off his shirt as wings sprung from his back and a tail peeked out from the top of his pants. Crouching low for a second, he leaped into the air, his wings taking him further up until he caught the drone twenty feet in the air. He took a deep breath and bellowed as loud as he could directly into its camera before letting it go and slamming back to the ground.

“What in the world?” Henry asked with a bewildered smile.

“There’s a fairly new urban legend going around about a local cryptid that may or may not be based on yours truly,” Glenn replied, grinning wildly. Slinging his t-shirt over his shoulder, he walked back up the steps of the back porch and started clearing up the empty pizza boxes and take-out bags.

“You shouldn’t mess with them like that,” Henry jokingly scolded as he moved to help him clean up.

“I’m not really, if you think about it. A demon truly walks amongst them.” Glenn said, wiggling his eyebrows mischievously. Bringing the things inside, he placed it all on the counter, looking to the recycling bins and then back to Henry. “We’re supposed to separate the plastic and cardboard right?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s right,” Henry said, pleased that Glenn was using his little additions to the kitchen, “you have to flatten them first though, so they don’t take up too much space.”

“Got it. Watch this.” Glenn stacked all six pizza boxes in his hands and shmushed them together.

“No, you’re supposed to unfold them first,” Henry laughed, “if you do it like that, they’ll bunch up around the sides.”

“You don’t like my pizza box flattening?” Glenn asked, taking one of the boxes and lightly smacking Henry on the shoulder. “Huh?”

“Wait— sto— Glenn!” Henry managed to snatch one of the boxes and smack Glenn right back between laughs.

“Oh it’s so on.” They chased each other around the kitchen, laughing and smacking each other until Glenn had Henry cornered by fridge. He raised his pizza box above his head to bring it down on Henry for one final smack.

“Entangle!” Henry yelled and the little potted plant on the windowsill suddenly burst into a writhing, viney mass, wrapping up Glenn in seconds. Thoroughly incapacitated, Glenn could only watch as Henry got oh so close and gave him one last soft tap on the forehead with his pizza box.

“You cheat.” Glenn said, smiling.

“I was playing with a demon after all,” Henry shrugged innocently, “you can’t really expect me to play nice.”

“Yeah, yeah.” With a great burst of his wings, he cut through the plant, freeing himself. He looked down at the pile of vines left on the floor and then back at Henry. “I’m not cleaning that up.”

“Fair enough,” Henry started making his way over to the closet where the cleaning supplies were kept to grab the broom, but his foot caught on one of the vines. Glenn tried to catch him before he fell, but they both ended up crashing to the floor.

“Ow,” Henry rubbed his sore hip, “you okay Glenn?”

“Uh…” Glenn stared down at Henry. The robe he was wearing had slipped down his shoulders. The two of them were close, so close. Glenn could smell the scent of his soap on Henry’s skin. He could feel him, warm beneath him, legs tangled with his own. Henry’s breath tickled against his skin in a small gasp as Glenn brushed away a lock of blonde hair from his face. Glenn leaned his head in closer.

“Glenn?” Henry asked in barely a whisper.

“Yeah?” Glenn responded in the same breath, dragging his eyes away from his lips to look Henry in the eyes, “If you don’t want—”

Herny kissed him. His lips were soft but fierce against Glenn’s own, ravenous, hungry. His hands snaked up Glenn’s neck, his fingers tangling in his salt-and-pepper hair. He tugged on it and Glenn moaned softly into his mouth. Glenn’s own hands wandered over Henry’s body, feeling his way under the robe, tugging it down to the belted waist. His hands faltered. He wanted this, he needed this, so badly, and yet he—

Henry tore his lips from the kiss. “Glenn?”

“I— I can’t, I—” Glenn’s voice was raw and raspy. “I’m sorry— I—”

“Hey,” Henry’s face softened. Letting go of Glenn’s hair, he caressed his face. “It’s okay.”

“I want to, I really do, but—” Glenn couldn’t find the words.

“You don’t have to explain.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t apologize.” gently pushing himself up, Henry took Glenn’s hand in his own, “We can take this slow.”

Glenn just nodded. They sat in silence together for a few minutes. After a while, Glenn pulled himself to his feet and offered a hand to help Henry up. He gave him a small smile.

“We should, uh, probably get you some real pj’s.”

“Oh, right.” Henry laughed. They both stared at the mess of the kitchen, suddenly feeling tired.

“We can clean up tomorrow, I wanna go to bed.” Glenn said.

“Yeah,” Henry replied. They headed upstairs. Glenn dug through his drawer pulled out a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants and handed them to Henry.

“Thanks.”

“I, uh, dressed the bed in the next room over while you were in the shower earlier.” Glenn said, “If you want to sleep there, that is. Unless you want to sleep here… with me.”

“Are you sure?” Henry asked.

“Yeah,” Glenn smiled, “yeah I am.”

“Okay then.” Henry pulled on the t-shirt and sweatpants, slipping out of the robe. By the time he was done changing, Glenn was already in bed. He crawled in under the covers with him and closed his eyes. Glenn switched off the light beside the bed.

“Goodnight Glenn.”

“Goodnight Henry.”

“I know you’re awake.” Henry gently poked at Glenn’s cheek.

“No I’m not,” Glenn grumbled, digging deeper under the covers trying to shut out the morning light.

“Sure.” Henry just rolled his eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Nine twenty-one.”

“It’s nine am on a Saturday, there’s no way I’m awake.”

“If you say so.”

After a minute, Glenn reached a hand out from under the covers and felt around for his phone on the bedside table.

“I thought you weren’t awake.”

Glenn just made a face at him. Picking up his phone, he dialed Jodie.

“What?” Jodie answered.

“Me and Henry are coming over for breakfast.”

“Henry, sure. You I don’t know.”

“Shut up.”

“Is that Glenn?” he heard Nick ask, “Is he eating here? Did he say he’s bringing Henry? Are Lark and Sparrow coming?”

Glenn looked over at Henry. “We can pick your boys up from Ricky’s place on the way over, right?”

“Y-yeah.” Henry said.

“Yeah, the twins are coming too.” Glenn hung up without waiting for a response from Jodie. He and Henry got dressed and ready to leave. Just before Henry got in the car, he pulled him close and kissed him.

“Good morning, by the way.” Glenn said.

“Good morning to you too.” Henry replied.

“Good morning boys!” Ms. Dolores called from over the fence.

“Good morning Ms. Dolores!” they hollered back.

“How are you Hank?” she asked, “Don’t be such a stranger, you should come say hi some time.”

“It’s Henry.” Glenn said.

“It’s fine,” Henry said, “I’ll be sure to do that Ms. Dolores.”

“Good, good.”

Glenn pulled out of the driveway and headed over to Ricky Garcia’s place. The twins piled in the backseat and they drove to the Foster household. Nicky answered the door and gave Glenn a big hug before pulling Lark and Sparrow to go hang out in his room. Glenn and Henry made their way to the dining room and said hello to Jodie and Morgan, catching up. Jodie noticed the band t-shirt Henry was wearing and smirked.

“About damn time,” he muttered under his breath to Glenn.

“Shut up.”

They were all sat down halfway through breakfast when Glenn remembered.

“Shit, the kitchen.”

Taglist: @apricior @aqua-ginger @cheesetheory @greiiliss @i-3at-s0ap @officialgleamstar @m1locer3al @your-witch-trial-has-expired @thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls @itsbrucey @drag-ev @nutria--oscura @babacontainsmultitudes @prettyupsetnerd @pepadesol @cornychipper-18 @girlnemisis @landrick-lycidas @icy-book @watermelon-beachboy @bread-stickk @amnestyliketaz @yinmndragon @quillisgay @wombat-things @confusedlazydoggo @van-goghs-leftear @pencildragons @justablah56 @auguststone @chaos-ignited @roboobin @abeinginsand @mcleavemealone @himboparimbo @cookies-over-yonder @javasquats @lunarrosette @renepessimisticfanboi @mikeystrawberry @greylight32 @imperatrice-pigeon @oswin-remains (I tagged most people who interacted with my previous posts about this fic, barring those who indicated in their bio/carrd that they were minors, due to the suggestive content. If this applies to you and I missed it, or you would like to be taken off the tag list for any other reason, please let me know!)

[bellewintersroe]

Headcanon : Easy boys reaction to seeing their lady lieutenant for the first time.

Have a good day!!!! :)

AAAAHHH I love this!!! Thank you so much for the request and inspo, I appreciate it a lot! Hope you enjoy and hope you have a great day :):):) <;3

Easy boys reacting to seeing their lady Lieutenant for the first time:

Dick Winters: ok it would not matter what ranking Dick has, at this point he could be major or a lieutenant himself- but he’s still a blushing mess. Omg he’d be so so so so respectful, and would not bat an eyelid at listening to a woman in command. Sometimes he finds his eyes following you a little too much, and immense guilt and a fear of him breaking the rules ensues.

Lewis Nixon: smirks and shrugs it off, he’s so calm about it, but you’re so hot, he knows damn well how some of the men are gonna act like dogs in heat. Not Nix though, even with his cool exterior he knows how to treat a woman. Might forget to call you ma’m sometimes when he gets more friendly with you.

Ron Speirs: in shock. A little worried?? Confident because you seem so sure of yourself? Ron doesn’t know how to feel from first impressions- but one things for sure, he wouldn’t even think for a second about something as small as twitching his lips in reaction. He’s so respectful, would rather watch you from afar before judging you immediately. He’s super mysterious.

Carwood Lipton: super friendly, probably befriends you first out of everybody. He trusts you as long as you trust him and believes the two of you truly will make a good team. Would be your number 1 supporter and in your downtime he finds himself blushing and gazing like a teenager in love.

Babe Heffron: would probably shit himself? Idk just gives the impression that he’d be a nervous wreck.

Bill Guarnere: tells Heffron to shut the hell up as he himself swags his way towards you, before you have to remind him you’re not just some civilian woman, you’re his companies lieutenant. Apologises and probably admires you forever after this for being so bold.

Joe Toye: ok don’t take this the wrong way but I feel like Toye curses when he see’s his lieutenant is a female the first time? Not because he’s got a bad attitude to women, but this is the 1940s, he’s just in pure shock- I think he’d be guilty of not believing you’re as strong as the men at first.

Joe Liebgott: on the outside he acts all cool, tries to act a mixture between smug and shocked that the companies Lieutenant is a ‘chick’. On the inside he’s freaking out internally because goddddd you’re hot. You’d probably over hear him 50 times talking about how hot you are- he thinks he’s so sly as well.

Floyd Talbert: again, guilty of fancying the hell out of you. However, I feel like Floyd would be more respectful? Yes, I know he gets labelled as a womaniser and all, but I think he’d be kinda shy? Maybe worried what you think about him? Idk he’d give off the vibes that he wants you to like him, so the first time you meet him he’s surprisingly quiet.

David Webster: superrrrrr impressed that the lieutenant is a female. If Web was around in the modern day I think he’d be a feminist. Would brag to other men from different companies about you.

Eugene Roe: SHYYYYY, would barely be able to hold eye contact with you. I think Gene’s a lot more tough than we all give him credit for, but around women he’s a little quieter, so especially for his lieutenant who’s got authority over him, he feels a little nervous!

Shifty Powers: if anybody said ANYTHING bad about you Shifty would jump to your defence! Not in a harsh or abrupt way, he’d be very clear, letting people know they shouldn’t undermine your abilities, and reminds them of all your achievements.

Warren Skip Muck: like Lipton would befriend you instantaneously. He’d be so kind and energetic, he probably wouldn’t look at you any different than any of the men in charge- of course he probably has a little crush on you- but he’s one of the first people to go out of his way to befriend you!

Don Malarkey: giggles.

George Luz: giggles even harder- apologises with a boyish smile when you call him out.

Hoobler: this cutie would be so soft:( he’d make conversation with you and I feel like he’d be so innocent and starts telling you about the Luger pistol he wants to find.

Buck Compton: in the early days he’d be a little confused? Of course he’d never say this to your face or to anybody else but he’s wary. After a while he realises how much he can trust you and hates himself for ever having a doubt about you.

Chuck Grant: would probably smirk to himself, cos you’re hot, but he’s too respectful to admit anything out loud so silently admires you and how strong headed you are.

[lauronk]

I wish you would write a fic where...

Joel and Anna get together after Sarah goes to college. Ellie is their kid and Sarah is the cool aunt figure.

hi! thank you so much for the prompt! ngl, i struggled with it a little because i do not know how to write Romantic Joel, he exists only as Dad in my head lol but i gave it a good shot, i hope you enjoy!

the best day with you today

length: ~1.2k words tags: canon divergence; modern au; everyone's alive; joel/anna; joel & ellie & anna & sarah; family feels; pregnancy; family bonding; dunking each other in the river; no beta we die like david

Joel had never really planned on having another kid. Hell, he’d barely even planned on having the first - definitely not as young as he’d been - but Rae had gotten pregnant and they’d gotten married and then barely a year after Sarah’s birth, she’d decided she wasn’t cut out for motherhood, and she bailed. Sarah had no memories of her, but other than a few growing pains here and there, she’d never seemed to be worse off without her.

Joel had raised her and watched her graduate and sent her off to college (all the way to San Marcos, which really isn’t that far, Dad, I’ll come visit plenty) and then realized he had no damn idea what to do with his life now. No soccer practice to cart her to, no sleepovers to host, no extracurriculars to plan around.

Now it was just him and his empty house and enough woodcarvings to fill the time that Tommy finally confiscated his knives and said he could have them back if he left the house once a week for two months.

So, after digging around on the internet a little, he’d gone to the library down the street, picked up their calendar, and signed up for the monthly book club and the Spanish conversation group. Both of which, it turned out, were attended by a woman named Anna who had a habit of shooting him amused looks when one of the other book club members made an asinine remark.

True to his word, Tommy returned the knives to him after two months, but they started collecting dust almost immediately because Joel spent all his free time with Anna. A coffee date turned into a dinner date and within two weeks they were seeing each other near daily.

Sarah had been astonished - and more than a little skeptical - when Joel sat her down and told her that he and Anna were planning to get married, with her blessing of course, barely ten months after meeting. Joel could see it all over her face that she didn’t think it would last, that he was having some kind of midlife crisis - not helped by the fact that Anna was nearly ten years younger than him - and that they wouldn’t last the year.

But she could see how important this was to him, so she gave her blessing anyway. No matter her own reservations, she wanted her dad to be happy. And she liked Anna a lot, thought her a good match for Joel, even if everything was moving unsettlingly fast.

They’d done a small ceremony in the backyard, just Sarah, Tommy, and Anna’s best friend Marlene in attendance. And for another two years that had been their family; neither of them had planned on having kids.

But then Anna started throwing up, missed her period, and those two lines on the test turned pink. And suddenly, they were having a baby.

Ellie made her arrival a week before Sarah’s twenty-first birthday, and Joel’s eldest spent what should have been a night out partying pacing laps around their living room cradling her sister, while Joel and Anna snagged a few precious hours of sleep. He’d been worried that getting a baby sister when she herself was full grown would be a problem for Sarah, but it had been the opposite. Ellie was Sarah’s favorite person ever, a feeling that went both ways as Ellie got older.

Wild, Joel thought, watching Ellie and Sarah float in their tubes ahead of him and Anna, how his girls could be so far apart in years and yet be so close and so similar. Maybe not wild, just…lucky.

The two of them are shooting mischievous grins over their shoulders now, and Joel shares a wry look with Anna. Her nose and cheeks are tinted red with the sun, tips of her fingers tracing lightly through the water as they float down the San Marcos River.

“Here,” Joel says, carefully tossing her the small tube of sunscreen. He points to his own nose and cheeks. “Think you need a bit of a touch up, you’re gettin’ a little crispy.”

Anna gives him a wry smile, rubbing a fresh coat over her face. “Not all of us were made to roast in the Texas sun, sweetheart.”

Joel shrugs. “Can’t help it that I tan and you don’t, darlin’. Y’know –”

Something pushes hard on the bottom of his tube, and Joel goes ass over head into the river, the cold temperature jolting him into opening his mouth and damn near inhaling enough water to fill his lungs. When his head breaks the surface a chorus of laughter greets him - six feet away Ellie is clambering back into her tube while Sarah tries to hold it steady. Next to him Anna is howling, her own hand barely maintaining a grip on his tube while the other clutches her stomach. He doesn’t bother climbing back into it; instead he propels himself forward through the water until he’s caught up to the girls.

Ellie shrieks and tries to paddle away, but she’s too slow, and Joel has her flipped into the water in a matter of seconds. He waits until she surfaces, gulps in a bit of air, and then promptly dunks her again.

She comes back up sputtering, a hand frantically trying to wipe her face clean. “Rude!” is all she manages, scooping a hand through the water to splash him. It hits him in the chest - he can still hear Sarah and Anna laughing - and he propels himself forward to hook an arm around her waist and hoist her up over his shoulder. It takes more effort to keep them afloat - his back is gonna hate him for this later, fifty-seven is really a bit too old to be lifting teenagers, even ones as scrawny as Ellie - but he paddles them unevenly back over towards Anna.

“Caught you something, huh?” His wife calls, shielding her face when Ellie aims a splash of water her way too.

“Sarah neglected to mention the river was full of gremlins,” he says back, giving her a grin before sucking in a breath and plunging himself - and his squirming daughter - under the water once more. Only once they’ve surfaced again does he release her, the two of them treading water.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re an ass?” Ellie says playfully, splashing him again.

“Anyone ever tell you you’re a little shit?” He retorts, splashing her right back.

“Anyone ever tell either of you that you're exactly the same?” Anna cuts in from behind them, one hand still holding Joel’s tube.

“No,” they reply simultaneously, and she lets out another bark of laughter, echoed by Sarah on the other side of them.

“I’m never bringing y’all floating again,” she says teasingly, her head tipping back dramatically.

“Oh please,” Ellie doggy paddles forward, hoisting herself back into her tube next to her sister. “You’d be so bored doing this without us. You love us.”

Sarah scrunches up her nose, pretending to think for a moment before she leans over - nearly upsetting her own tube - and smacking a kiss onto her younger sister’s cheek. “Yeah, guess I do.”

thanks for reading!

[jstarr86]

This story will be posted over on my Wattpad as all my other chapter work is, please head over there for stories containing multiple parts and enjoy 🥰

CH 1

1992

I stepped out of the car, the moving van pulling up behind it. Florida all the way across the country. I didn’t know what to feel, it was pretty so far but I was kinda scared it was different and I didn’t know anyone. I saw my mom talking to someone and walked up to her. She paused looking down at me a smile gracing her face.

“This is Natasha, Sweetheart this is Ms Lisa” I waved she seemed really nice.

“Hi.” I said shyly. A little boy ran up a large smile on his face as he stopped looking at me.

“Hi I’m Joe.”

“Hi,”

“What’s your name?”

“Natasha.”

“Wanna play?”

“Um sure ok.”

“Cool come on.” I followed him not knowing I’d be doing it forever or that I’d met my best friend.

3 Weeks Later

I was playing with Joe, we’d played every day since I’d moved in. It was summer so he was really the only person I knew right now, but I was ok with that he was really fun to be around

“Hey do you wanna go to my cousins with me I’m sure no one will care.” He said goosing the ball

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah why not we’re going to be in school together they’re my best friends kinda like you. They’re twins.”

“Ok.”

“Joe are are ready to go? Hello Natasha.”

“Hello Ms Lisa.”.

“Mom can Natasha come.”

“If her mom there is ok with that I’m sure it’s fine.”

Getting to his cousins I followed Joe as he walked in and I already saw him talking to two boys

“These are my cousins, guys this is Natasha and this is Jon.”

“Hi.”

“Hi I’m Josh.”

Fatu twins and Anoai. I’d been friends with them since day 1 and when that used to be how they were called or triple threat. The four musketeers My best friends, my life. I was so grateful for them, they’d had my back since I moved here and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without them hell I don’t think the move or my life would be as amazing had I not met them

I’d met Joe at 6 when my family moved to Pensacola and we became next door neighbors. My father was in the Navy, I had been born in San Diego California spending the first 6 years of my life in Miramar California since my father was stationed there. TOPGUN I’m sure you’ve heard of it and it’s a real place it’s not there anymore it was moved to Nevada but back then it was also at that base. When I was 6 my father got a promotion and we moved all the way to Florida. They’d found a nice little home off base and that’s where I met Joe; He’s been my best friend since, and within weeks I was friends with his cousins Jon and Josh, those three have been inseparable their entire lives and Joe is just an extra brother instead of a cousin. Always hanging out, playing sports, watching wrestling every week, always together. I spent the summer playing with them and once school started I met more people but no one was ever like us four. We all went to school together our whole lives minus Joe's freshman year where he was at some private catholic school until he got Ms Lisa to switch him to Escambia where the twins and I were. All my classes was always with at least one of them, even though they were a year older I was smart and was skipped a grade so since I’d known them we were together. So much so that rumors always flew as we grew that it was more or like in late middle and through high school I was sleeping with all of them. My ego loves that because they were all fine as hell but was so far from the truth, for the most part. I had lost my virginity to Joe when I was 14 and he had just recently turned 16. His birthday was in May and mine was in August like the twins. Yeah we thought the other attractive but it was mostly a I feel comfortable with you do this, we always knew we were better friends and this never changed our relationship but come that Christmas season we’d both learn that someone was seeing me as more than a best friend and had for a couple years.

When we turned 12 I went from Nat to Snickers. At first I hated it but now I’m used to it. It stuck and everyone ended up calling me it. My best friends had called me it once it was clear puberty had it and it hit hard. One day I was the normal tomboyish girl not really anything and the next morning I had boobs, curves and a ass. I remember waking up freaking out crying and putting clothes on that didn’t fit me before I jumped out of my bedroom window and walking the two feet knocking on my best friends a blanket around me. He opened the window looking at me like I was crazy.

“You sick of something Nat?”

“Can I borrow some clothes?”

“Um yeah, why you have tons.” I sighed opening my blanket as his jaw dropped.

“Yeah and they don’t fit help me.” My shirt that used to be normal was to the middle of my stomach not being able to fit over my boobs and my shorts were way to small

“Holy shit.”

“Joe!”

“I um yeah come in.” He grabbed a big shirt and some basketball shorts handing me them and I quickly went to put them on. I went shopping with my mom getting all new clothes and the twins when they saw me freaked just like Joe.

“What the hell where did all that come from?”

“Where’s Natasha and what did you do?”

“Shut up.” I said embarrassed “everyone at school is gonna be saying shit.”

“And we’ll fight them. But for real you look thicker than a snicker got damn.”

“Jonathan.” I wined

“I mean Nat you woke up like that.” Joe said pointing at me.

“Yo most girls would kill for that like damn you got thick.” Josh muttered. “Lemme touch it.” I glared at him but inside something cluttered in my stomach

“Snickers.”

“What about them.”

“Nah that’s you.”

“Yeah all that booty thicker than a snicker.”

“Our snickers.”

“I hate all three of you.”

“No you don’t.” They responded and after that the name stuck

I walked into Joes room tossing my backpack. He chuckled knowing I wasn’t very happy.

“You ok Snickers?”

“Kinda.”

“Wanna talk about it.”

“I’m tired of being a virgin.”

“Oh. Well I mean we’re 15 we’ll you about to be I just turned 16 and I didn’t know you-“

“Bullshit you're my best friend you know I am when the hell have you seen me with a guy let alone you guys won’t let one near me.”

“Cause we hear how they talk about you we ain’t letting some asshole just date you to hit it and tell everyone. They care about all that.” He said pointing at me “and not this.” He said poking a finger into my chest where my heart was

“Will you.”

“Will I what?” He asked looking up from his game

“Take it.”

“Take what?”

“Joe really, ugh this is already weird, take my virginity.” He dropped the controller looking at me like I was crazy.

“What!?”

“Your my best friend why not.”

“Why me why not one of the twins?” He asked confused and it made me nervous maybe I shouldn’t have asked but I couldn’t ask the twins Jon plays to much and Josh, I couldn’t ask Josh even if I wanted too.

“I’m closer to you and Jon plays too much I’ll hear about this the rest of my life if I asked him and you know it and I can’t ask Josh. Joe I only trust you guys, please.”

“Why can’t you ask Josh?”

“I can’t.”

“Snickers.” He said making me look at him. “Oh shit do you like him, like like him like him.”

“Joe.” I whined blushing.

“Oh my god how did I not know and since when.””

“If you tell him I’ll slit your fucking throat.”

“I won’t but you like him.”

“Ugh yeah ok I like Josh”

“Since when?”

“A little while. So I can’t ask him.”

“Why not like wouldn’t that make you wanna ask him more.”

“No because what if he says no or is weird or it changes shit and if he says no it’ll bother me and I don’t wanna catch more feelings if I sleep with him Joe it’ll probably make me like him more and I can’t do that.”

“You sure about this?”

“I’d rather it be someone I trust and am comfortable with and your my best friend.”

“Ok.” I looked up at him shocked he’d said ok he got up as I looked at him.

“Where-“

“I’m not doing this and taking a chance of having a baby we’re kids we don’t need that I’m sure there’s a condom in this house.” Five minutes later he was back and locked his door holding up a foil pack. “Told ya.”

“Shut up.”

“You sure about this Snickers like once we do this you can’t take it back.”

“I’m not stupid I know that.”

“Look of you want I’ll see where uces heads at if he likes you too, then you can ask him.”

“No, cause then if he does I don’t wanna be clueless.”

“ like he’d care like that Snick you got as hell besides I think he’s a virgin too.”

“Joe”

“I’m just making sure, like this is a big step.”

“I’m a big girl.”.Joe gently touched my face lowering his lips to mine as he kissed me. It felt good but also felt weird. Slowly I got into it and we ended up on his bed. I moaned when he kissed around on my neck and he pulled back

“You ok?”

“Um yeah that, that felt good.” He nodded doing it again. We made out a while his hand sliding up my shirt. We slowly undressed as Joe would ask if I was ok or sure.

“Natasha.” I looked at him as he looked down my eyes following his before looking at him. Joe was handsome as hell they all were. “You sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me if I hurt you.” He kissed me slowly moving as I gasped it felt weird and kinda hurt but also felt good. “You good?” I nodded as he slid all the way as I winced in discomfort. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re good, move.” I replied touching his face.

Most girls I’d heard those first time wasn’t the best and it hurt and while yeah it hurt a little when Joe first started it wasn’t bad. It was different.”

“Wow.”

“What?” I asked.

“You, that,.”

“Joe.”

“What Snickers, ya can’t get shy now not after that.”

“I’m not your just funny.”

“You sure your ok?”

“Yeah Joe you didn’t really hurt me, I mean you got a big dick at least I’m assuming and it hurt a few seconds when you first started but no you didn’t hurt me.”

“Get up I need to change the sheets.”

“Um ok.”

“Snickers you bled a little that’s why I was so scared I hurt you.”

“Joe.” I said touching his face. “You didn’t hurt me, I don’t think you ever will Your my best friend and thank you.”

“Always, I always got you Snickers. One day we’ll make sure you never want for nothin.”

“I know you guys say that all the time.”

“Because it’s true we don’t care where you go what you do who you end up with we got you.”

“I know bear I love you guys too.”

“By the way you really are perfect.”

“Joe.”

“You are,”

JON POV

I looked at my twin like he was crazy, I kno he ain’t really just say that. No Fuckin way

“Snickers?” I asked as he nodded “Snickers our snickers? Natasha? Natasha Aiyana Smith?”

“Yes Jon, damn! Who the hell else you think I’d be talkin bout.”

“Not Natasha not our Snickers that’s for sure.” I replied. I was shocked he liked her like for real for real. “You do know Joe hooked up with her right uce?” He immediately got pissed. Face red and all but as my brother my twin I couldn’t not tell him.

“I hooked up with who?” Joe asked coming in with his bag, staying with us and thank god Snickers wasn’t with him.

“What!?” Josh said glaring out our cousin, and tossing his water. “Always.”

“Dang what I do?” He asked

“You hooked up with Natasha!”

“Um yeah like 6 months ago, she wanted me to take her virginity wanted it to be someone special that she trusted and said those options were me or one of you two.”

“Well uce, uce likes her?”

“What?” Joe asked looking at my twin who was pissed. “Since when?”

“For a while, damn why ain’t she come to me?”

“Because y’all joke too much and she quote loves Jon but ain’t trying to hear his mouth cause he’d never shut up and she didn’t wanna ask you cause she has a Fuckin crush on you and ain’t wanna be weird. Besides she’s known me longer and better she’s legit next door.”

“So y’all like dating?”

“No.” He laughed “that’s like my fucking sister.” He looked at Josh before speaking “why ain’t you say anything no one had a clue and I know she don’t. Otherwise I know she’s had asked you shit I even tried talk her into tellin you.”

“I ain’t think she’d like me like that shit uce we grew up together and now I can’t.”

“Why? She thinks we cute you know that so she probably do like you.”

“Well she ain’t gonna do anything now if she did you done hooked up with her.”

“So what we ain’t dating it didn’t work we work better as friends.if you had said something you’d have taken her virginity dumbass cause when she came to me I found out she likes you that’s why she wouldn’t ask you, she didn’t want you saying no and it being weird and she ain’t wanna catch feelings.”

“But you know Tash man hell people been sayin she fucking all us what she gonna hook up with me and then really feel that way uce. You know her she ain’t about to be what everyone says. Snickers ain’t-“

“Tell her or I will.” Joe said.

“Why she-“

“Do it Josh, trust me. She been feelin you uce.”

[4-hour-naps]

Tom Cardy lyrics as incorrect Dazai quotes from every song

In order of most fun/fitting. I feel uniquely qualified to make this. But I add more unnecessary commentary as we go.

Big Breakfast

“Hey Patricia can you bring me a kitchen sink so I can drown myself infront of all your clientele”

Artificial Intelligence

“So i guess that i feel a little sad, that i can't feel all the ways it feels to be human”

Perception Check

“you’re a short motherfucker and nobody likes you”

Why am I Anxious

“I would try to do anything to make my life feel better, except anything that my life feels better”

High Five

“Could it be me buyin' everyone a round of Fireball, but then drinkin' them all. And then tellin' your girlfriend that you're cheatin' on her with me” (This whole part tbh)

The Ballad of Smoking Joe Rudeboy

“I know that their packing heat, and I know they know I’m the man to beat”

Mixed Messages

“I’m really sorry for punching your dad in the dick I won’t do it again…I ball up my other hand and punch your dad in the dick again” (does anyone even have a dad in bsd)

Business Man

“Ahh! You shot me in the leg!” (Like he could’ve said literally have said this, bonus: “no, you’ve got a dumb name”)

HYCYBH

“Have you checked your butthole” (specifically after the grandma dies part. I can see him doing this to Kuni for like a week straight, purposely hiding stuff just to say it)

Read Between the Lines

“please don’t misunderstand me I’ll always leave you a clue” (the clue in question only Ranpo understands)

Big Dumb Idiot

“Light on my feet as I sneak into your house, be a giant fuckin' idiot, then sneak back out”

Hey I don’t work here

“That way I could teach your kid to drown in front of you” (he is an expert… or is he?… I mean cause he..)

.・゜゜・ things get a little iffy here ・゜゜・．

Paint That Lady

“Do you want to be my lady? I want to raise your babies. My only job is to pleasure you” (Lying through his teeth to get laid)

Carol Brown

“Mimi will no longer see me. Brittany, Brittany hit me. Paula, Persephone stela and Stephanie. There must be fifty ways that lovers have left me” (womanizer king /j)

Get Louis Theroux

“I was being to feel 👹 omnipotent👹” (okay maybe he wouldn’t but… like to scare Chuuya or smth? Idk I just like this part okay??)

Party Dog

“So kiss the ring motherfucker and then I’ll let you stay”

Beautiful Mind

“I, know, so sit back and enjoy thе show” (said after he has crafted the most devious of schemes)

Your Love is Not Enough

“You’re love is not enough, give me some really cool shit”

Call Your Mother

“You've got the power to be a massive sick cunt” (somehow trying to encourage atsushi)

Monster Truck

“I’ll stab you in the face bitch” (? To Mori idk)

・゜゜・．I struggled with these songs ・゜゜・．

Naughty or Nice

“When he thinks no one is watching, I’m watching” (uhh.. )

#inspirational

“I use emojis to deflect” (he would)

Future of Humanity

“Spit in my mouth for mankind” (I will not be taking feedback here)

Red Flags

“You know the deal (Pucker up)” (did I just pick this bc it’s funny? Yes)

(That’s all the songs on Spotify + perception check, there are probs other unreleased songs but)

[r3d-f0xs-blog]

Changes

“It’s been a long time since everything that happened. To say my life has been turned upside down and inside out is an understatement.

At first things with Kerry were fine and he was one of the few people who kept me from completely loosing it all.

But things began to take their toll. Media interest eventually faded when they found the next scandal or shiny thing.

Kerry found out about everything but in the end it got too much for both of us. It wasn’t because we didn’t love each other any more.

In a way, the Voss I was had never really existed and it felt like...I was continuing a lie I never knew I’d been telling. It didn’t sit right with me. So we lived apart for a while. We needed the time apart and Kerry was touring so it was easier to focus.

Jess came back to NC. She’d left Arasaka and heard all about it. We met up talked and spilled our stories about our Arasaka years since we ended up in different continents. She didn’t have much that was good to say about Arasaka either. It was nice to see her again but before you ask, no. There’s no rekindling of any love we had. I’m in no place for that right now and that’s fine.

It...hurt. How could it not? People go on about how you work things through together. We tried but finding out one of you is ninety percent cyborg isn’t exactly in most couple’s counselling areas of expertise. We had to figure it out ourselves.

I spent time away from it all. The whole thing with V, So Mi. No wonder Militech wanted me. I wouldn’t have just had my mind shredded; my body would have been picked apart just to see what Arasaka had stuffed me with compared to Songbird. How they could bundle me up in realistic Synthskin so I could pass for a regular Joe instead of the ‘borg I am. What makes my cooling different, my own head full of Netrunning gear and ‘ganic brain. Why pick me for the project?

It doesn’t need saying that my Dad got the brunt of it all too. He lied to me. Knew what fate he had signed me off to. Quite literally sold me in exchange for the best schooling they could get for me. The break up with Kerry was far simpler compared to what I feel about my family.

Returning to the Afterlife after months of being under therapy, constant checks by the ripper who led the team who...made me I guess. Guy didn’t know anything about it. That’s another story. Being back in the bar, seeing Rogue again. It was strange.

I changed a lot to kind of come to terms with it all. If I embrace what I was made into, maybe I can be more at ease with myself? I can’t get my organic body back but I can make this life mine. Again.”

Voss has had some updates for after he was harmed by Salty in the net.

[joe9cool]

Collide-Justin Herbert- 23

a/n: Usual disclaimer, I do not know or own the Los Angeles Chargers or their families. This is all fanfiction purposes

Christmas was getting closer. 

Sara couldn't believe it was the last Saturday before Christmas. She was over at Justin's with Erika, wrapping last minute things. Her gifts all came at once, so did the groceries she ordered to make her desserts for his family.

Her sisters had called and expressed disappointment that she didn't come home. Alyssa had invited her to come back to St.Louis to spend time with her and the kids while Brent was on the road for a few games. She had to make some excuse that she had booked an interview that had to be done the day after. 

She felt bad, but at the same time she didn't. Sara truly felt at home with Justin's family. Even thought she hadn't met Mitch and Isabel she knew that they would get along well. 

Christmas music was playing softly as the sound of cutting and tearing of wrapping paper was heard throughout the large house. Sara looked at Nova, who was sitting next to her, observing the process. She took one of the stick-on bows from the bag and stuck it on her head. The girls laughed as they watched the cat try to shake it off. Finally she felt bad and plucked it off the poor baby's head. "Sorry Novi" She patted the spot.

"Isn't it crazy how we are wrapping gifts and playing Christmas music and we can go for a swim right now? It was a cool sixty six degrees, however it was sunny and they could go for a dip in the pool if they wanted to. "When does Justin's family get here?"

"Wednesday. We are celebrating Saturday before the team leaves Sunday morning." It was a bummer that they were on the road for Christmas, but she knew what Alyssa was feeling with Brent. 

Erika was leaving Sunday, with Sara dropping her off before catching the game. Justin wanted her at SoFi since Joe and his crew would be there. But Sara decided to lay low. Heidi messaged her the other day saying that there was online speculation that she was seeing someone. It had started with the smile she gave the paps being out and about. Someone had decided to start something. Well it wasn't a rumor if it was true. But the public didn't need to know that."

Luckily Heidi put out an old interview from over the summer that was  published in September . Sara said she was single (she hadn't met Justin yet) and that sorta settled the small speculation down.

Still, she decided to lay a low profile.  She could clean the house, get everything ready for when his family got here. As much as she loved seeing Justin in person, sometimes TV got the best angles. Erika finished up her gifts to bring for her family and took Sara's as well. She always got something for her friends' parents, as well as her brother.

The rest of the evening was filled with baking. (Sara made sure to clean up so Justin wouldn't get annoyed with any leftover baking mess) the gifts for Justin and his family were placed under the tree. She did notice a few that were labeled for her from Justin and she squealed like a little kid. 

The gift she was most excited about, which was the calendar, came In a vanilla envelope the other day. AnnSophie had done an excellent job editing and putting everything together. Sara and Erika admired every photograph and giggled when she told the story on how Justin almost found out about his gift and how jealous he got thinking the sexy photoshoot was for the public, when really it was for his eyes only. She wrapped the gift and hid it on her side of his closet. 

Erika spent the night in the guest room. Sunday morning they were at the airport at 5 am so she could make her flight. They hugged and wished each other a Merry Christmas. Erika wouldn't come back til the 2nd and they would depart for Abu Dhabi on the 5th together.

On the drive back to Irvine, Sara teared up at the fact that the 5th was only two weeks away. She didn't want to cling, but she wanted to spend all of her time with Justin. She regretted not going to his game. Even being in the same room as him would calm her down. After going back and forth with herself, she decided to stay at his place. She could cook, play and cuddle with Nova, and stay in her pajamas.

One she pulled into his garage she brewed some coffee and took out the eggs and veggies to make an omelet. After the meal she began stretching and looked up YouTube pilates videos. Once she did that she did Joey's meditation routine he gave her. 

After that, she did a deep clean of Justin's place, changed Nova’s litter, began seasoning the salmon, and was on a zoom call with her agent. Charlie facetimed her to express disappointment she wasn't coming home for Christmas. Her heart broke, it wasn't his fault that his grandpa was a stubborn man and refused to cut off his bitch of a sister, or realize that his daughter didn't want to follow the same path as her sisters.

She occupied Charlie's sadness by having him tell her about his class Christmas party and the gifts under the tree for him and his siblings. He told her that he was hiding in the bathroom to call her so his siblings didn't find out and try to hog her time. Again, as much as she wanted to scold him for not allowing his siblings to take a turn she understood. 

Once they hung up. (She heard her sister yelling for him) the game started and she put the salmon in the air fryer while she made the guacamole.  So far things were looking good for the Chargers. Sara knew how important it was for them to win the rest of their schedule. Justin was very dedicated the past week. On his day off he did go to the facility to lift for a bit and then spent the rest of the week reviewing video and practice.  

As Sara was cutting the ingredients up she was trying not to drool over Justin in the royal blue uniform. He looked good in everything he wore, but those and the navy jerseys were the ones she liked the best.

She was just cutting up and putting everything together during the third quarter. The quarterbacks both exchanged interceptions. 

However, Justin threw another one, and the overall play calling was awful. She was nervous, the titans would soon capitalize on the scoreless period. That was all she needed, Justin to be in an awful mood.

Then things changed. There was a touchdown, and almost another one.

She was on her seat the entire game, as the fourth quarter winded down and the titans were close to scoring she began stress munching and pacing around the house, Nova following her thinking it was playtime. 

Of course the titans scored and she was sure it was heading into overtime until her man threw a thirty five yard pass to Mike and set up the game winning field goal.

"FUCK YES!" She screamed and picked up the cat to run around the house. No sulking Justin tonight. She was feeling good, maybe she could blow him.

She thought long, maybe the calendar gift was better to give to him before his family came in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taylor was in her office.

She was tweeting away while trying to watch all the games. She had the NFL report tomorrow and she needed to be educated. Her assignments were heavy this week due to the insanity of all the games and pushing for a playoff spot.

Watching the Chargers game, she decided to post a tweet about the throw.

There aren’t many other QB’s I’d rather have in this situation… 

48 seconds, no problem.

It was a simple, professional tweet. She hit send and set her phone down. 

It had been months since she had spoken with him. As painful as it was to see him last week, it hurt a little less. Maybe she was finally getting over him. Maybe it was the confidence of other players commenting on her insta photos. 

TAYLOR BISCOTTI TELLS TWITTER 'THERE'S NO OTHER QB I WANT' ABOUT BOYFRIEND JUSTIN HERBERT 

Twitteruser 1 : TB being a good supportive girlfriend

Twitteruser2 reply : she wants to be a WAG so bad

@twitteruser2: Herb better publicly claim her she got other players in her DM’S

It was really late by the time Justin got home, they did all of the usual routine before heading out. They spoke about Christmas plans. Justin and Sara were going to celebrate the  23rd and 24th with his family before everyone (except Sara) would head out to Indianapolis for Monday night Football.

There was a part of Justin that wished he would get over his fear and claim Sara publicly. There would be no secrecy, no sneaking around. They could go anywhere they wanted, see anyone they wanted. 

As much as Justin would like that he was terrified. He wasn't well known outside the NFL, Sara was a global superstar.

He was anxious to get home to his girl, who only had a couple weeks left to spend time with.  Again, he shook that thought from his head as he finally beat traffic and turned down his quiet street. Justin came into the house and immediately saw the dimly lit room with the lights on the Christmas tree and windows. Sara was sitting down by the table with a bottle of champagne and a plate with delicious food. He bent down and greeted Nova first before greeting his other lady.

She got up and met him in a heated kiss, him lifting her up easily as she wrapped her legs and arms around him. They broke away, breathless. "You did so well today." She breathed. He smiled. "Even after two interceptions?"

She rolled her eyes. "Only you would kill the moment. He set her down and she went over to the champagne to pour two glasses. Handing one over to him she held hers up. "To being the number six seed." Justin clinked his glass against hers and drank. Normally he would be irritated over the early celebration, but for the first time he felt confident that despite the injuries, despite any and all adversity this team was going to make the playoffs.

They both finished and set the glasses in the sink. Sara looked up at him and smiled. "I need you to do me a huge favor"

Justin couldn't think of anything besides getting her out of her clothes. So he was ready to agree with anything. "Yes?"

She had a shit eating grin on her face. "Say turnt"

He groaned as she laughed her head off. "Not that. Come on." Referring to his post game interview. He smiled as she calmed herself down. But she continued the teasing. "Also can we talk about last week when you said we should be booing on an off day! You are such a nerd." 

He turned pink. "Do you just spend all day watching my interviews like a creep?"

She smiled "Don't deflect. You were totally that kid that reminded the teacher that there was homework." He was silent for a bit. Finally he mumbled. "Well I didn't do it for no reason." She threw her head back

 "Oh my god I would have totally hated your guts in high-school!"

He laughed and grabbed her hips to pull her towards him. "I probably wouldn't have liked yours either. But now I do. I want to be all up in them." She rolled her eyes. "Okay that was smooth." He laughed and bent down to kiss her again.

They made their way into his bedroom where he pushed her down on the bed. As he began to undress he saw her get up. "Wait, I forgot to give you one of your Christmas gifts." He was confused. "Babe we aren't exchanging til my family is here."

She laughed from inside his closet. "Trust me I don't think you want to open this in front of them."  She came out with a slim item in green wrapping paper. She handed it to him. "I thought you might like this."

Justin Herbert's Calendar

The cover was Sara on her knees. An Oregon Jersey with the number '10' no doubt his. "I knew I wasn't crazy! I noticed something was missing" She sat beside him and rolled her eyes. "Glad to know that's what you care about." He kissed her head. "I love it."

"Open it." He tore the plastic wrap off and carefully studied all of the months. January had her in his Chargers jersey doing the huddle pose. He laughed and then groaned when he flipped it to February. The picture was the one he got jealous of a week ago. He looked up to see her shit eating grin. "All this time you had me believing this shoot was for everyone to see yet it was for my eyes only?" She nodded. Throwing the calendar he grabbed her. "You minx" He growled as he climbed on top of her. He lifted her shirt off of her and began to suck on her neck. She moaned as he hit the spot he knew where to go every time. His lips trailed down to her breasts as he began to suck and nibble on the pebbles that were her nipples.

Her breasts were always sensitive. From the first night they spent together almost six months ago he discovered that and he always joked he was going to make her cum by sucking on her breasts. He probably could too. She was so into what he was doing she didn't notice her panties had disappeared along with his pants and underwear. They both gasped and moaned as he slipped it in. 

Justin lost focus on what he was doing, every time he was in her he lost all senses around him. It was her, it was always her. 

He caught his breath for a few while he thought Sara was doing the same, until he felt her hands underneath his ass and pushed him up. "Move" She moaned.

With a strength he didn't know he had, he stayed still while she whined. "Actually I think I like this better." He put his body weight on her. "Oh yeah I like this. Nice and relaxing.

She was going to fucking kill. "Justin please. I do this nice thing for you and this is how you repay me?" He smiled and kissed her. "What? We are having quality time together." That was it, he wanted to play dirty, she was going to match his level. As much as she could, she rolled her hips and clenched down so she could spasm around him. It worked. He gasped and groaned. "Damn it." She giggled and it trailed off into a moan as he began to move. Gripping the sheets, her vision blurred as Justin adjusted his speed and his strokes to hit the spot. As she was about to finish he stopped and pulled out. Before she could protest he grabbed her hips and flipped her over. He reentered her and moved at a fast pace. "God baby you feel so fucking good." He breathed.

Sara couldn't even form words, just lost in the moment. Once again just as she was about to burst he slowed down. "Justin. What-" She moaned as he hit the spot going slow. It was pure torture, also a bit surprising since this wasn't usually his style.

For Justin it was confusing as well. But something in him went animalistic. He wanted to see how far he could take this, and make her fall apart completely on him. When she went to Abu Dhabi, he wanted her to be thinking of this moment, as well as the others they shared.

As she moaned underneath him, he decided to tease her some more. He no longer was hitting the spot but sped up and she was still a mess. "Baby pleasss" She dragged out, her moans turning breathy. Justin had enough he needed to flood her pussy soon or he would explode. He pushed her down on the mattress before putting all of his power back towards her sweet spot. Once he hit it at the correct power and speed she screamed and the coil in his lower belly broke loose. Throwing his head back, he made a noise that wasn't even human. 

His vision blurred and he was not even aware of where he was. His partner was face first on the bed and he collapsed next to her. There was about a five minute silence except heavy breathing. Finally the only word Justin could get out. "Wow" she nodded and looked over at him, meeting her eyes, they both shared a smile and laughter. Eventually, they got up and showered before falling asleep quickly. Justin knew that he was going to be exhausted tomorrow (or later today) but it was worth it. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the week went by in a blur. Wednesday Justin was at practice and then had to pick up his parents. Sara had her fenty shoot. It was a candy land theme, along with the fashion show. Christina Aguilera was going to perform, as well as Cardi B during the show and the after party. 

It was a long shoot, one that she didn't get home til midnight, at that point everyone was asleep, besides Justin, who waited up for her. "My family wanted to stay up, but they were too exhausted from the flight and dinner. She nodded and she was tired as well, so the last thing she wanted to do was socialize. She got ready for bed and cuddled with Justin.

The next morning she woke up to an empty bed, football didn't stop just because family was in town. She looked at her phone to see it was 10am. Fuck she hadn't meant to sleep in that long. Sara already heard voices in the kitchen. Damn it.

She quickly jumped in the shower and did light makeup. She didn't want to look dead in front of his family. Doing a once over in the mirror, Sara decided she looked presentable enough. With a deep breath she opened the bedroom door and headed to the kitchen. Holly spotted her and hugged her, as well as Mark and Patrick. Carly was back in Oregon with her family. After the initial greetings she had to ask. "I thought Mitch and Isabel were supposed to come?"

Patrick rolled his eyes. "Oh they are here, they went with Justin to work out. They are huge fitness enthusiasts." She should have figured since Mitch did play football. "Speaking of fitness, did you lose weight?"

Mark hit his son's arm. "Didn't your mother and I teach you anything?" She laughed. "No it's fine, I have been working out more. I'm walking the Fenty show. So I'm trying to tone up a bit."

Patrick smiled. "Well that's great! Soon you will be running sprints with us!"

"Oh god no, your brother ran with me on a treadmill and I wanted to die." Pat laughed. "Let me guess he bragged about it?" She smiled, remembering the little fight they got into about a couple weeks ago. "Yeah he apologized once he figured why I gave him the silent treatment for a few hours."

Holly shook her head. "Sounds like my middle child." She gestured to the healthy breakfast spread on the table. "I made this for everybody. Mitch and Isabel should be back any minute." As on cue, the door opened and Sara took a deep breath. She had to admit, of all the members of Justin's family she met, she was most nervous about Mitch. It was probably because he was the oldest and obviously the wisest being in medical school. Also he was the same age as her. Her anxiety told her that he wouldn't like his younger brother being involved with an older woman, even though the rational side of her told her that was stupid.  However, anxiety was winning the battle right now.

A tall, short haired man, and an elegant woman walked in. With warm smiles on their face. After they told Pat about their workout their eyes landed on Sara. She smiled and decided to walk over and hold her hand out. "Hi I'm Sara, you must be Mitch and Isabel. It's very nice to meet you." She began to laugh, a nervous habit. "I'm sorry I'm really nervous."

They both laughed. Isabel stepped in, a slight Spanish accent. "You're nervous! I was terrified! That was the whole reason we went to the facilities with Justin! I had to burn off the nerves." She laughed again. "I'm sorry I'm such a big fan of your movies and your show!" Mitch laughed. "She made me binge all three seasons in quarantine over the phone." Sara laughed. All the nervous tension melted away.  She felt bad when Isabell mentioned the picture they took in NYC back when Sara thought she was just another fan. Small world wasn't it?

Everyone got along so well, and even though Sara loved Justin's family she wished her only family had more traits like the Herbert's. She saw so much of her family except without the toxic family members running their lives. They all shared a nice breakfast before making plans to go to the grocery store. As everyone got ready to leave. Holly looked at Sara, "aren't you coming?" Sara blinked. "Um, I don't think Justin would like that very much." 

"Oh come on! We will wear a disguise! Unless paps are out this early." Isabells eyes widened. Sara laughed. "Trust me paps aren't around this area unless they are scheduled."

"Celebrities call paparazzi?" Sara rolled her eyes. "It's very common, if I have a movie coming out and I'm in a very public place my team will call them, otherwise I stay very low."

Mitch jumped in. "I have to admit when he told me about you I was shocked, considering he is so private." Sara smiled

"Same." Grabbing her sunglasses, baseball cap and mask. They headed out in a rental SUV. They pulled into Albertsons and began to shop. Sara thought about doing a mini cookie day and started throwing all of the ingredients in her cart.

Overall the entire group spent almost $300, and no one seemed to know or care who Sara or Justin's family were. They loaded up the car and stopped at Starbucks for holiday drinks. Mark was driving and Sara tried to hand him her card in the drive through. He laughed and told her to put it away.

They got back to the house and Sara told Holly about the cookie tradition. She loved it and with some resistance from Patrick and Mitch, they all began looking up recipes. The entire group laughed and joked around as they got everything together. 

Justin came home to a sweet smelling house and his family and Sara sipping on wine and laughing. He smiled, and his heart swelled. He walked up to her and kissed her in front of his family.

The group tried to not pay attention, but this was something they would never have thought they would see in a million years. Justin, their shy, reserved, private Justin was kissing and showing affection for a girl who was the total opposite of him. This was one for the history books. Before anyone could mention anything, Justin snuck one of the turtle cookies. Munching on one, he groaned. "Oh my god these are my favorite." Mitch and Patrick followed suit and the decision was made that turtle cookies would be made.

As they did in Oregon, the group played board games. (Of course Justin had to win) at one point they had put on Christmas movies that basically served as background noise and they continued their conversation. At one point Justin looked over at Sara, who he saw was totally relaxed and smiling. He imagined how she was with her family, it was probably tense and stiff with talks about money and high society shit. 

Once again, his mind drifted to January 5th Sara leaving. He saw the plane ticket in her bag. Her flight left at 5:00am, it just made things harder for him, that he had it down to the hours, the seconds that she would be leaving him for a few months. As she was sitting on the couch seat next to him, he felt that she was too far away. As she was listening to a conversation that Mark and Isabell were having regarding biology, she felt herself being lifted up and put on Justin's laugh. At one point Holly turned to Sara. "Oh I forgot to get the spinach for breakfast tomorrow." 

"Oh don't worry, it was in my cart." Justin was confused. "Did you instacart?" Sara shook her head. "No, we went to the grocery store." He stiffened underneath her. "No one saw you with my family right?"

Mitch cut in. "Jesus bro. It was a trip to the damn store. We were in and out. No one in Irvine cares." Pat laughed. "You're not that famous."  

Sara turned to face him. "I was careful, had on my disguise." He nodded "hopefully no one saw you guys or had your phone out and for some reason she felt offended. She got up off his lap and went to the kitchen. The last thing she wanted to do was start a fight in front of his family.

As she pulled out a dessert plate and filled it with cookies she felt Justin's eyes on her. She met his eyes and smiled trying to mask her hurt feelings. He looked around, seeing his family involved in their own conversation, he got up and walked over to the kitchen behind Sara. Grabbing her and pulling her to him. He spoke in a low voice "What's wrong?" She shook her head. "Don't lie to me" He kissed behind her ear.

She sighed. "Later, I don't want to have this discussion in front of your family." She leaned into his embrace. They both were unaware that his family was whispering about the unusual romantic gesture and pda he was giving Sara. Sure in high school or college when he would introduce girls they would hold hands or cuddle. But this was new. Mitch and Isabell side-eyed to each other smiling as Justin was embracing with Sara, he was so wrapped up in her he didn't see his brother take a picture with his phone. Patrick was giggling. Holly decided to end her boys teasing their brother.

Getting up from the couch, she clapped her hands. "Okay guys! Let's put on some Christmas movies and have some cocoa. The rest of the group came into the kitchen and began to make the hot chocolate along with the whip cream and all of the toppings. Sara didn't even see Holly throw all of this in her cart at the store.

They stayed up, til 11pm watching the classic Christmas movies. Once again

Justin would be tired but he was happy. As he and Sara laid down he remembered he had something to discuss. They were in bed as he pulled her to him. "So what did you want to discuss?" She looked at him with confusion and he smiled. "I didn't forget. I know you were bothered by something." She sighed. "Well it's just that I felt that you were so paranoid about me not being out with your family it was just offensive." Justin nodded as she continued. "It made me think of what happens when this becomes public."

Justin thought about it. "Well I mean I don't think we have to make an official statement. We just lay low."

"But what happens If someone does discover us? Or it leaks?"

Justin stiffened. "Do you plan to reveal something? Are your friends going to say anything?" He thought back to David's words 

"No, but these things always come out eventually. Baby I just want to prepare you if it happens. I don't think this is something we can wing."  

They kissed, both to melt their worries away. "Well i'll be gone, so that will take any speculation or heat. Only close friends now. What about your teammates?"

"I trust them one hundred percent. We will be okay. We have been very careful, no one is going to find us out. Now let's just enjoy our early Christmas." He began to bite and suck on her neck. "We aren't having sex while your family is here."

He groaned while she laughed. Nova eventually joined them and Justin sighed. 

"I'm so glad I spent money on a bed for you Nova."

A/N: Merry Christmas! I just wanted to get caught out with stuff. Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for reading and loving this story, as well as your feedback! As always my inbox is always open

[totemsp2blog]

Creating an hour feature (a post-mortem)

I just got done creating (mere seconds shy of) an hour of film from a night I played Halo 3 with some friends. I may have spent a little too much time and effort on it… and may have gone too far in some places.

But to be honest, I had the enthusiasm of my friends backing me the entire time I was working on it. As a result, I was able to produce, with the help of my friends, a work pretty up there in terms of personal video editing projects go.

At this point, it’s important to speak of the talents, and qualities that these people brought to this project. A project which served be simply edited footage of us goofin’ in video games, nevertheless…

NoTengoTortuga, is a 3D artist and Blender Guru, and was responsible for creating the CGI poses of our Spartans for most of the chapter cards between missions (I said Spartans… no that’s not an elite, that’s the actual Master chief!) Tortuga, or Joe as we call him, currently uses said skills professionally, but out of love of the craft, he contributed his skills, and has literally crafted stuff out of dreams I had for the project, Including the amazing Rainbow Six Siege inspired chapter card, and the ‘Warframe tableau inspired’ end scene. It’s more than I ever could’ve asked for, which what I’m saying is everything I did ask for, he delivered on, and more. There wouldn’t have been images for the chapter cards, he just stepped up and started making them.

AstroCorgi, or Goatz_ballz, or SpaceManMike? I’ll just call him Mike like we all do. Mike’s contributions to the project were important for a simple reason: he noticed things that I didn’t. He was the one to spot things in the background of otherwise uninteresting scenes, such as the two’s warthog jumping off a ledge, or a grunt t-posing off their ghost upon getting smashed into… by the two’s warthog. And so, his input and attention to detail added a lot to the project.

So, with the help of the people interested in this funny Halo 3 game film of all of us playing, this undoubtedly turned into a group project. It also emboldened us to add to it, and in turn, take the ambition way up. It was a good thing… but as Strong Bad once said, too much of a good thing is an awesome thing, but too much of an awesome thing is holy crapazoli or something… I’m sure he said that once I dunno…

I would like to explain my state of mind during this project.

I’m about to speak a little bit more seriously about things, I hope you don’t mind.

I am someone currently feeling like a prisoner in my own body. Yes that sounds pretty serious but let me explain. I have dreams and aspirations, and the means and knowledge to carry them out. I could realistically learn everything my associates that worked with me on this know, and as I’ll get into later, out of an apparent need to help their load, I did try to in order to help their load. But, I have a severe, and inconsistent lack of energy to do… a lot more than I want to. I’m in a place right now where… everything feels like a lot, even if there isn’t a lot going on in my life right now.

I ended last year in possibly the worst place I’ve ever been mentally. The details are too personal for this fairly personal blog, and I feel like I’m firmly in the depression stage of grief.

Simply put, I’ve been pretty down, and tired, burnt out.

Where this ties into the project is that I did what was absolutely best for me, and went at my own pace, which was nice and glacial. And I will admit, when I’m in it, It can be pretty comfy trimming film, and when I get an idea for something cool, it’s fun to act on it, and I acted on a lot… but the thing is, I had to act on it, otherwise I don’t know if I’d ever get it done… which has been a thing long before… what happened last year.

And then my cool Blender friend Joe stepped up and decided to pull these rips of the Halo 3 MCC Spartans from The Halo Archive and make poses for the chapters.

So now on top of my (and Mike’s) attention to detail, coupled with my knowledge of what could be possible in video production, we now had access to full 3D CGI assets. Absolutely mental.

But it also meant… I had to call upon people to help get stuff done. My fatal weakness! Something I’ve delt with all my life.

It just comes down to my ability to… social… and I don’t doubt those who have known me have come to understand this. But what I fail to understand and was literally stated to me is Joe loves doing this shit. It would be like somebody coming to me asking for a… uhh…

Uh…

A thing… that… I would like to make? PowerPoint Cartoon? An edit of someone’s funny game footage? Their Dinner? A gman impression?

Anyway, that didn’t stop me from chronically worrying about bothering anyone for anything. But I did rise above that eventually and boy was it worth it. I thought that Rainbow Six Siege inspired image was going to be tough but somehow, he pulled it off to my exact specifications. Huh… like, huh… yeah? Who knew someone good at their shit was going to give me a good fuckin’ result, and not even break a mention of concern at possible difficulty in producing it?

That was one of the things I thought I had to try and put together myself. I was in a manic scramble to bring together some tools I had lesser knowledge on in order to try something, but when I got an early shot showing me how possible it was by his hand, the least I did was play with the pose a little, which is something I had to learn in blender to do, and guess who taught me? The bloke and friend what does Blender professionally, currently making shit for me! It all makes sense, right? and I should stick to what I know and trust willing people to be willing.

What does having access to this kind of talent mean for the overall work load?

Well…

Not much, I was still editing film like I would’ve, and probably would’ve put too much effort into it regardless. Joe was happy to do his thing, and he was knowledgeable enough to produce it with ease. Mike was staying up way past bedtime to hang out and watch me edit and go through footage right up till the final clip, because he wanted to. And all the while I was getting input from the both of them, and it felt pretty normal.

So what’s the problem?

Well…

Corel VideoStudio.

What I can say of Corel is… at least they’re not Adobe. But they are geriatric in the way they do things, especially their business practices, which is good and bad… but compared to Adobe, they’re the lesser of two evils. VideoStudio is cheap in comparison and buy once and keep forever… unless a new version comes out and you have to buy that version… at a discount at least.

That’s not the issue.

I experienced way more technical problems both familiar and new during this project, with the version of VideoStudio I’ve been using.

Slow editor performance

Crashing

Audio track waves not showing after a certain time

Audio track randomly panning

Audio envelopes not working as intended

Let me talk about this one in particular. The scene where the Warthog drives through a tunnel playing the polka from Red vs Blue? That was working as intended, with effects, panning, volume, everything… until it wasn’t randomly. No matter what I did, I couldn’t even get the panning to work, and if that didn’t work then…

I had to put the video into an external program and create a premixed audio clip.

Anyway, the list isn’t over…

Audio would sometimes distort loudly when being previewed or played, scaring the buhjezzus out of me and those watching my stream.

Crashing during the encoding process?

Actually… no! The project before it (another video of me playing Halo with friends) the encoding crashed multiple times, until I tried encoding without GPU acceleration. But This time, the encoding went just fine…

Until, I looked through the video and found it full of problems.

But… luckily, it wasn’t to much of an issue, and is more my fault. You see, I originally wanted to output the projects as a 30 FPS film, but the footage was in 60 FPS, and so the project was set up for that, and I edited the whole film in 60 FPS. So I go to render the film in 30, only to find the film missing cues for the audio envelop changes, and even erroneous black frames and timing issues throughout.

Simply Rendering out 60 FPS fixed everything… as if it was meant to be. Lesson learned.

So in the end…

I can safely say, I probably won’t go as far next time. Sticking with tight edits and maybe some funny sound clips here and there, who knows.

One thing is for sure…

I can’t keep using Corel VideoStudio anymore

I kept using it because it was convenient, and simple and very easy to make things with. And I’ve been using it for over a decade. I’m a slave to it’s ability to make zoom & panning easy.

But… the editor is too slow, and I don’t understand why even after all these years. Maybe due to the ancient code that it probably retains from the years back when it was using X* for the different versions… maybe even back when it was called Ulead VideoStudio.

I must move on to something modern, and it’ll take some learning to do.

Luckily, I’m nowhere near short on Server 9 game footage to edit.

Thanks again to the two great guys I played with, and subsequently took interest and contributed to what I have made… and more importantly, understood my pace.