#I know he's probably not that small canonically in the academy manga but like- he's small to me

[giggly-squiggily]

Cool fact: In the Kimetsu Academy AU Gotouge made, Gyokko is a canon ler

WHAAA-?!? That's freaking hilarious oh my!

I just pulled him up in hopes of finding it (still searching lols) but LOOK AT HIS WITTLE FORM! *cries* His little baby hands are EVERYTHING!

Thank you for sharing!

[legendofzoodles]

Era of Hylia Lore 1

This is my interpretation of the Triforce Trio, Hylia, Demise all that cyclical stuff...expect some mild Hylia slander. And again, bit of a brain dump from my word documents- then again all my posts will be just that.

Hylia was the one to choose the first Hero, not the Golden Goddesses. In earlier games they call Link the hero chosen by the gods/goddesses, I’m gonna ignore that and say that he’s just acknowledged by the gods. 

The Golden Goddesses put the protection of the land they created and the Triforce in Hylia’s hands.

It kind of sucks that Fi wasn’t created by the Goddesses. I just thought it be funny if they gifted the sword to Hylia, but since she was probably created by them too and was born yesterday she didn’t know how to properly use it. She watched over the Hylians for centuries, seeing them advance and thrive along with other races outside her domain, observed how they trained to use swords- developing special techniques and moves- and saw that there was this one guy who was really good with swords, maybe even the best there was. As well being an excellent fighter who never lost a duel, he also liked to help people and frequently travelled the land going good out of the kindness of his heroic heart. So she approached this random guy who was pure of heart, valiant and selfless, and offered him the Goddess sword, asking him to be her knight.

He agreed because who’d turn down a request from an all powerful immortal deity?

It doesn’t really matter who this guy is, canonically in the games he’s only mentioned as ‘The First Chosen Hero’ or ‘Hylia’s Chosen Knight’, so we don’t even know if his name is Link. I like to think that it’s something comically ordinary/random, like...Allen.

Red/First is what the fandom calls him.

Most people accept Himekawa’s design of the first hero in their manga series as the look for him. The one with the red scarf and sparse gold armour.

I like it, but I want something different. Wasn’t the reason that the chain all wear green because it was that year’s colour for graduating students of the Skyloft Knight Academy? 

I like the idea that green represents the hero’s spirit, not any of the chain individually, just their will to do what’s right and the strength to do what others can’t. It is selfless, acts independently of any outside influence and answers to no one. So then, let the first hero have green eyes (since eyes are the window to the soul/spirit, which is a small link to his successors), then wears red, white and gold to show that he fights for maybe even belongs to Hylia.

Hylia herself is still this very tall blond woman with a wing motif and a harp. She also doesn’t use weapons invented by humans for her divine powers are much more efficient than the mortal’s fragile metal and stone. Can’t change perfection.

Quick story time. So Red/Allen was a nobody. He came from simple ordinary origins and became known to Hylia purely because of his acts of heroism and strength. After he was given all that divine power, the Sheikah (or like an early/beta version of the Sheikah) who had not been close to the Goddess but were powerful, more advanced than the Hylians and were loyal to her, felt threatened by him. Not only because he was extremely powerful, seemingly untouchable, but he was also ordered by Hylia to...how to put this lightly? Basically he conquered other tribes like the Gorons and early-Zora, taking their homeland and making it part of Hylia’s protected land. He also had to quell infighting between groups of Hylians

They were also angered that this dirt poor rando had her favour and that he was chosen as her knight rather than a distinguished warrior from their clan. And maybe they also wanted power and protection that came with being close to the Goddess for themselves

I saw fanart ages ago of the First Hero in chains, and that idea was fascinating. I don’t know why- it’s probably explained in the manga but I haven’t read it, so in my story the Sheikah imprisoned him. Maybe by taking advantage of his good will and tricking him (luring him into a trap saying that they needed his help of something), drugging/spelling him, stripping him of all his belongings (maybe burning some) and locking him up in the dankest of dungeons in their part of the land. 

Hylia found out, but instead of punishing the beta-Sheikah, she decided to use them. Seeing them best her hero was enough for her to finally acknowledge their magical and technological potential, and she made them her close servants. Not to reward them though, goodness no. They had just roughed up her perfect weapon. She just recognised that they’d be useful and kept them around as tools rather than exiling or killing them. 

This kind of fits in with the Sheikah’s strange treatment in the series. Like, their supposedly some of the closest people to the Goddess, directly serving the Royal family, yet they hide in shadows and are forced to do pretty awful things (ahem Shadow Temple). So they serve the Royal family because they have blood descendants of their beloved Goddess, and the royal family keep them around because over the years it just became the status quo. However, they’re powerful and could become a threat if they are not controlled. 

This way the Sheikah aren’t total victims, which sounds silly but it’s how I saw them for the longest time since BoTW- since it always seemed like they were getting screwed over by the Royal Family. Having them bring down the hero in the distant past sets the president that they actually are a threat to the Hylians...that being said if they didn’t strike first then Hylia probably would have sent Allen and his friends (maybe he could lead a team of elite warriors) over to assert dominance over their tribe anyway 

As for Allen and Hylia’s relationship...? Well, it starts off as strictly professional and business-like. Hylia orders him somewhere, he does it without question. But once they get to know each other, maybe after a few battles, she teaches him how to ride her crimson loftwing (perhaps that’s why Sky is such a natural with his loftwing) and he teaches her to to use the Goddess sword, they become friends-ish. I say ‘ish’, because they’re not really equals as Hylia believes herself above him and I never said that Allen was ok with all this conquering and fighting. But most things he’d try to suggest would be shut down/ignored, (because he’s just a human and she’s a Goddess, therefore she knows better) so he’d have to content with doing his old simple hero stuff on days off.

I don’t think that the first hero was all that close with Fi. She seemed pretty robotic and cold with Sky before warming up to him in SS, and I feel she like she wouldn’t have been so distant if she was good friends with his previous life. 

She also doesn’t mention the first hero in any significant way, meaning she probably knew next to nothing about him personally (or he was super unmemorable). Therefore, she was in sword form most of the time only coming out to remind him of objectives set out by Hylia. He’d try to converse with her and make friends but she didn’t reciprocate and after a while, along with Hylia herself calling the endeavour a lost cause, he gave up. Fi was fond of him however, thinking him worthy enough to wield the blade even if she’d prefer if Hylia used it. 

Also sorry, but the idea of this powerful deity being a space cadet when it comes to swords is cute! And it nicely juxtaposes some of her descendants who are rapier wielding prodigies, looking at you Dawn (TP Zelda) and Justice (HW Zelda). 

~~~

Lore for the Era of Hylia 2

Lore for the Era of Hylia 3

[favberrys]

I'm bored and in a kkg brainrot mood, so i'm just gonna rant about my opinions of kakegurui ships and i will make some headcanons:

Kirasaya

Ok i had to start with them bc they're just too iconic, i think they have one of the most interesting and complex dynamics in kkg, they really got me obsessed with them, it's probably my number one kakegurui ship and the reason i started watching the show and reading the manga. Honestly yeah their relationship has some power imbalance, since sayaka is kirari's secretary, and is probably disfunctional, but contrary to what some ppl say kirasaya is not abusive, kirari never physically or emotionally abuses sayaka throughout the story. Anyway they're a 10/10, peak lesbian yearning, if they don't kiss at least one i will jump the author. Probably one of my fav ships ever, i think they're made for each other and i can't see kirasaya with anyone else, they're just so good together and their chemistry is >>>>>>

Yumary

Ok this one is kinda an unpopular opinion bc most people like yumary, but honestly i can't get invested into it, there's something in this ship that doesn't make my heart go "fuck yeah they should be gfs". Personally i don't ship yumeko with anyone bc i can't imagine her in a relationship since her main thing is being a compulsive gambler, her existence revolves around it and she forms relationships when they're useful for her gambling games. I think yumary could be friends with benefits for some time, but after a while mary would probably break it off because i don't think she can handle a sexual/romantic relationship with yumeko and after a while it would make her go nuts. A friendship between them is already messy and complicated and honestly i don't think they are compatible that way. Yes they have chemistry and there's probably some mutual attraction but to me it's a no. Also can cishet dudes stop fetishizing this ship ? My vote is 6/10, mostly bc mary doesn't seem much physically comfortable with yumeko, idk mary just seems off with her in that sense and i prefer them as gambling partners or friends.

Meariri

I honestly love this ship, especially after reading the manga, they have such an great dynamic, i think they both care about each other, they have chemistry and i think they're compatible and that their personalities compliment each other, mary is often loud and aggressive and passionate while ririka is more closed off and quiet, they're like fire and ice and this case i think the saying "opposite attract" works with them. Mary counts on ririka and i love the fact that she is so comfortable with her physically (mary is almost always the one to initiate the contact, holding her hand, touching her head, etc) and ririka gets inspired by mary to be her own person and chase her goals. Plus they're really cute together, aesthetically i find them the most attractive couple, i'll give them a solid 9/10

Itsukaede

Lmao i don't even know if this is the correct ship name for itsuki x kaede, ok i don't hate it and i think they could work as a couple, it's not my cup of tea bc m/f ships bore me, but i like their relationship, they have the kind of old married couple dynamic that always works. 6/10.

Ryomeko

I can see it happening, i don't ship it, but i don't mind it either, i'm kinda neutral about ryota x yumeko, but i think he's one of the ppl who care about yumeko the most in that academy (with also mary ofc), the ship is boring bc ryota is bland (he's a good guy don't get me wrong and he defo doesn't deserve the hate he gets) and as i said previously i don't ship yumeko with anyone. Sorry i gotta give it 5/6 out of 10

Yumedari

Ok i love midari but just like yumeko, i don't ship her with anyone bc i see her as someone who's too much unstable for relationships, but i know that canonically she loves/likes/is attracted to yumeko so i don't hate this ship, i think it's decent, the only problem is that yumeko hates midari. Still i think that since they're the most insane mfs in that school somehow this ship could work. 6/10

Yuridari

Again midari in my eyes is kinda unshippable, but this ship is not bad at all, they would have that kind of bickering married couple dynamic like itsuki and kaede, i like it but it doesn't do much for me. 7/10

Ryomary

Jsjssjsksk i looked the name of mary x ryota's ship on wiki so if it sounds weird it's bc i don't know their ship name and i have looked at the first site google gave me. This ship is hard no, mainly bc ryota is very bland and i consider mary a lesbian (i read that she is a canon lesbian but idk if it's confirmed by the author, let's say lesbian mary is just my hc) so shipping her with men feels like a hate crime to me, mary is for the girls only, 4/10.

Tsumary

They are kind of cute together right ? I think they're adorable, tsuzura is mary's first love and i think that someone like her would make mary very happy. I still haven't finished kkg twin, so my opinion on tsuzura is incompleted and it might change, i don't hate her but i find her character a little basic/boring so even though this ship is cute it doesn't make me fall in love with them. 7/10 bc probably also tsuzura had feelings for mary and they have a healthy dynamic, you can see they love each other.

Midasaya

I enjoy this crackship, i know that they both like different people but i headcanon that they were together during middle school or that midari had at least a small crush on sayaka during that time, before kirari came to hyakkaou i like to think that they explored their sexuality together so midari was probably sayaka's first kiss, her first date, etc, so they would have history together and we also see that midari knows sayaka bc her character is described through her pov during tower of doors. I find this ship pretty funny bc sayaka is always so serious and composed and midari is a ball of chaos. 7/10

Yumesaya

This is another crackship i don't mind and find hilarious, yeah i'm a huge kirasaya stan but i'm also a multishipper and sayaka deserves all the girls in the world, so the more the merrier. I like to think this ship as one sided love in which yumeko sort of pines after sayaka and i think it would be very interesting to see kirari being jeaulous that sayaka is getting yumeko's attention. We saw jeaulous/protective sayaka in kakegurui, but i would also like to see how kirari reacts when someone tries to take sayaka away from her, it would be really interesting. Obv this would create some tension between kirasaya and also between kirari and yumeko, almost a sort of love triangle dynamic. My opinion is that yumeko is just too unstable to settle down, also they both probably would get bored/lose interest in each other after the heat of the moment. 6/10

Ririsaya

Sorry but i really can't see it happening not even if i squint, but i really enjoy the ririsaya fanfictions and i think those works are pretty great even though i don't ship them very much. It would be interesting if both twins were in love with sayaka and there was some tension/coldness between them for a while bc they liked the same girl (maybe i read too many fanfictions). My headcanon is that both sayaka and ririka had a crush on each other when they first knew each other and for sayaka it was probably pretty confusing bc she already had feelings for kirari. I see them as friends, 7/10

Yumemisaori

Again idk if this is the correct name of the ship, many said that yumemi and saori are a healthier/mentally stable version of kirasaya and i agree. the dynamics are similar bc we have the secratary that is willing to do everything for her boss and the relationship is a little more balanced, i think they would be very cute together, but sadly they had very little interactions and if i could see more of them i would probably ship them even more. I like them 7/10.

Sachiko x Mary

I didn't even find a ship name for this couple, so they must be pretty unpopular, i like both characters and their antagonistic dyanamic is very interesting, but i don't ship them much bc i think mary needs/wants someone who is completely different from sachiko, who wants to make mary her pet and mary is someone who cares very much about her freedom, her indipendence and wants to make her own choices and this completely clashes with sachiko's extremely sadistic and domineering nature. I prefer them as enemies who have some sexual tension or enemies with benefits or one night stand adventure, but nothing more. 5/6 out of 10 bc the only mary ship i really love is meariri and i also like tsuzumary a bit.

Sachiko x Mikura

This is probably one of the most unhealthy relationships in kakegurui, but i kinda like it. Their dyanmic is pretty much vertical with sachiko who has all the power and makes mikuro do everything she wants and mikura who is completely obsessed and devoted to sachiko (my opinion is that she developed a sort of stockholm syndrome towards sachiko). I think that someone like sachiko could never have genuine romantic relationships bc of her extremely sadistic nature, she sees ppl like toys to break and what she enjoys the most is seeing ppl suffer, so the only compatible person with sachiko is someone extremely masochistic like mikura. Giving them a 6/7 out of 10 bc their interactions are fun/interesting and spice things up.

Rin x Ibara and Yumeko x Kirari

Hard no to both of them, i don't ship incest, yall can do what you want but personally it's a huge no for me. When i first started watching the anime at the beginning i thought yumeko and kirari had some sort of tension and could have been enemies to lovers (lmaoo i was so naive), but then i discovered they were cousins and i saw more kirasaya interactions so i got completely turned off by this ship. 3/10 to both of these ships.

Sachiko x Sakura

Now this ship is very sexy, idk why i like it but i do, yes i don't see sachiko with anyone besides mikura, but this pairing is not bad at all, even though it's a crackship. I think they would be rivals with benefits and would argue a lot and then make out/have hot sex. 7/10 (maybe it's too high but since these are just my opinions i won't be objective)

Mary x kirari

Uhm is there really someone out there who ships them ? Yeah i thought they had some sexual tension in s1 with that tea scene, but it's a no from me, i don't like it and i don't think they're compatible in any way, i can't see kirari with anyone who isn't sayaka. 4/10

[midnightactual]

Yoruichi’s Soul

What if I told you that perhaps Yoruichi has a unique soul?

With the release of the latest chapter, we learn some interesting things about Shinigami. My intention isn’t really to write about Hell and its implications, but it’s pertinent to the point I want to make, so it’s a fine place to begin and I’ll address some asides along the way. Here is what Shunsui says in a fanlation:

There is a word, “reii” (spiritual authority). It’s a unit of measurement that used to be utilized by the nobles, and is said to represent the concentration of reiatsu that resides in reishi. The average division member has a reii of grade 20. Vice-Captains vary between grade 5 and grade 4. And Captains consist of grade 3 and higher. A Soul Reaper’s body is made up of reishi, and when they die their body turns into reishi and returns to the earth of Soul Society. But people classified as grade 3 and higher can't do that because their reiatsu concentration is too high. What allows them to return is this ritual, “Soul Funeral Festival”. This is what’s taught at the Soul Reaper Academy.

What I am about to say is the “superstition”. “Actually, reishi of grade 3 and higher cannot return to the earth of Soul Society no matter what.” So what should we do? We can’t allow reishi that’s too powerful to remain in Soul Society. The Soul Funeral Festival’s real purpose is something else. With this ritual, the deceased Captains are—[Sent down to Hell!]

And here is the translation by Shueisha themselves:

There is something called... spirit class. In the past, it was a scale used among aristocrats. It indicated the density of the spiritual pressure within reishi. A normal company member has 20th-class reishi. An Assistant Captain has fifth or fourth class. And those greater than third class are Captains. A Soul Reaper's body is composed of reishi. When they pass on, their body turns into reishi and is reclaimed by the soil of the Soul Society. But anyone above third class has spiritual pressure too dense to be reabsorbed without intervention. The Konso Reisai is a ceremony to allow that reishi to be returned. That is as much as we learned at the Shinoreijutsuin.

This next part is the old wives’ tale. In actuality... reishi that is third-class and above can never return to the soil of soul society. So what are we to do? It’s not as though we could allow overly powerful reishi to linger loose in Soul Society indefinitely. And therein lies the other reason behind Konso Reisai. With the ceremony, the deceased Captains are... [... Cast into Hell!]

I think you’ll find these both strongly agree in content, despite some slightly different word choices. To recap:

reii is a graded measurement of (the ratio of) reiatsu per unit of reishi

reishi with reii above grade 3 / third class (i.e., that of Taichō) does not decompose and retains its reiatsu indefinitely

this is a problem that must be dealt with

the solution is to cast such reishi into Hell

There’s a lot of discussion floating around regarding what all this means. Does this mean that all Taichō-class individuals go to Hell? Well... yes, actually. What Shunsui says here is unambiguous: any Taichō-class individual presents a problem. This means that say, Gin, Kaname, Kiganjō, and Kuruyashiki were issues that had to be dealt with. Now, it does seem like maybe Jūshirō, Retsu, and Yamamoto have been turned into wardens of Hell rather than merely incarcerated there, given what we see of Jūshirō’s zanpakutō. So perhaps it’s the case that loyal Taichō become wardens (truly, one never retires from the Gotei 13, even in death) and disloyal ones become incarcerated. (After all, why put traitors in charge of security?) But it’s unambiguous that all Taichō-class individuals must be dealt with this way—and indeed, so must any entity with sufficient reii.

(An example: this means Ulquiorra is merely dead, not gone. He should be essentially haunting Las Noches.)

I’ve always wondered what Ganju meant in chapter 83 when he said that Kaien’s powers were “sixth class” and now we know; Kaien, as a former Fukutaichō, is likely not in Hell, as his reii grade was initially sixth class and probably had not risen higher than fifth or fourth by the time of his death.

(There is probably also something to be said about Retsu’s remarks to Ichigo in the Dangai on the way to Fake Karakura regarding the possible “inherent crudeness” of his reiatsu, which suggests there is some kind of reiatsu quality.)

Okay, cool, but what does any of this have to do with Yoruichi? Well, I’m getting there.

Take note that the Konso Reisai / Soul Funeral Festival is happening 12 years after TYBW (in 2015) and is apparently reconstituting individuals in Hell with their personalities and memories at least partially intact (as Jūshirō still has his zanpakutō). This tells us that reiatsu represents a kind of spin on the concept of genetic memory... you might call it energetic memory. Everything that an individual is in Bleach is seemingly encoded within their reiatsu, and they can seemingly be reconstituted from it. (I am also told that Spirits Are Forever With You makes this explicitly true.)

Here’s the rub: this isn’t actually the first time we’ve seen this sort of thing.

It’s become evident that various tie-in media to Bleach have become quasi-canonical to the manga. The movie Bleach: Memories of Nobody was made quasi-canonical by Ichigo saying in TYBW that he’d been to the Valley of Screams once before, along with panels depicting its appearance in that movie and a note at the end of the chapter to see it for more information. The Zanpakutō Rebellion arc was made quasi-canonical through the novel Can’t Fear Your Own World. This latest chapter appears to make quasi-canonical some elements of Hell from the movie Bleach: Hell Verse.

Well, what happens in this chapter with reiatsu persisting and functioning as a record of a Shinigami’s essence, to include their personality and memories... is exactly how Kagerōza created the mod-souls he used to run his reigai army in the Gotei 13 Invading Army arc.

Everyone of Fukutaichō rank and above, except for Yamamoto, Sasakibe, and Yachiru, was copied as a mod-soul and put in reigai, to include Kisuke. We also know that this done by using traces of the reiatsu of the originals. Ichigo and Yoruichi were not subject to this.

Kagerōza eventually “reveals he is unable to make a reigai of Ichigo because he is not a pure Shinigami.” We can assume that because Yachiru is a zanpakutō herself, she can’t be copied. Yamamoto and Sasakibe present an interesting case, probably to do with some kind of warding. Another odd exception exists with Kagerōza’s refusal to copy Aizen, Gin, and Kaname; presumably he thought that once a traitor, always a traitor.

But what about Yoruichi?

Did she perhaps kill her reigai copy off-screen? In Episode 319 of that arc, she “fought three Shinigami captains and four lieutenant-level and above opponents at the same time with Hakuda without receiving any notable damage.” I’ve noted this before as an example of her martial prowess, but think about it tactically from Kagerōza’s perspective. Yoruichi is able to easily resist his forces, and he can make multiple reigai copies of an individual as he demonstrates with Momo. If Yoruichi was such a pain for his reigai to deal with, and he’d already copied her, why wouldn’t he just make another? Or several more?

The simplest answer is that he couldn’t. In say, the Zanpakutō Rebellion arc, the easiest (metatextual) answer as to why Yoruichi’s zanpakutō didn’t rebel wasn’t that she had some unusual mastery over it, but rather that there was no desire to come up with her zanpakutō. However, there was no reason for a reigai copy of her not to appear if it was at all possible... meaning it was likely impossible.

The fact that her zanpakutō didn’t rebel in that other arc (and that metatextual reasons do not make sense in-universe) does put her in yet another very small club, even if its membership is different (to include Kisuke this time). The only other really consistent member of the clubs she finds herself in is Ichigo; this suggests that Yoruichi’s soul is unique like Ichigo’s, if not in the same fashion or to the same extent.

Why might that be? Well, here are some possible options:

it’s all a coincidence, and there is nothing more significant to it

Yoruichi’s cat form makes her soul novel (A. perhaps her cat form is an expression of her zanpakutō and she’s permanently bonded with it; or B. perhaps her cat form is hereditary, as she seems to share phenotypic expression with Yūshirō and it is unlikely to be merely her heritage alone)

Yoruichi’s status as Tenshiheisōban makes her soul novel somehow, if one subscribes to the theory that the Shihōin are themselves the actual Tenshiheisō

Here, for this roleplay blog, I subscribe to a combination of (2b) and (3). Yoruichi has a unique heritage (which also accounts for the strange phenotypical expression) and her family (the Shihōin) have a sort of unusual “contract” with... well, the fundamental nature of reality itself. Regardless of whether one agrees with those choices in general, I think two things are clear:

the expansion of reiatsu put forward in this chapter was both presaged in the early manga and accords well enough with the previously anime-only Gotei 13 Invading Army arc that said arc may be considered pseudo-canonical as others have become

if that arc is taken as pseudo-canonical and complexed with other pseudo-canonical material, it suggests that there is something strange about Yoruichi.

[prancing-uboot]

Satsuma Dads Timeline

You know how Golden Kamuy is an awesome manga full of amazing (and super-hot) characters and a great main storyline? So what do I do with it? Naturally I obsess over those two old gremlins: Koito Heiji and Hanazawa Koujirou the fathers of Second Lieutenant Koito and Ogata.

It's probably the most niche pairing ever, and I thought it was just me fixating on that one panel where Tsurumi mentioned they were close friends from Satsuma. But the more I read about the history of Satsuma and the times they lived in, the more I’m becoming convinced that there’s so much of their story written between the lines and that their relationship and tumultuous past is what actually caused and keeps together most of the GK plot. But nobody else seems to see it!

So what do I do with that? I spent my nights in front of my crazywall of historical research, trying to recreate an entire universe of events 50-years before the gold plot starts, just to be able to present to you:

The Satsuma Dads Timeline 

or

Why you Should Care for Heiji and Koujirou

~1850

Koujirou and Heiji* were born around 1850** in Kagoshima.

Heiji might have been older then Koujirou, but not more then 5 years. They were both sons of high ranking samurai (noble bloodline), serving the Shimazu clan.

* Most likely they went by other names in their youth and then changed them a bazillion times to make stuff confusing, but let's skip that.

** That would make them around the same age as Tougou Heihachiro and Nogi Maresuke ** - the chief players in the Russo-Japanese war for the navy and army. Both share a lot of biographical motives with Koujirou and Heiji and Noda might have modeled them a bit after them so I'll include the parallels where possible. I'm not sure Nogi even exists in the GK universe or was he replaced by Koujirou completely. Tougou was recently confirmed to exist. He was also a Kagoshima-boy, and grew up in the same circles so it's impossible that he and Heiji didn't know each other from childhood. 

1856-65

Koujirou and Heiji train in the same gochu in Kajiya-cho*. Gochu was a Satsuma-specific education system, relying on small neighborhood study groups in which the older samurai spent a part of their time teaching the younger everything they knew. Starting from penmanship and Confucian doctrines and ending with swordsmanship, and the unstoppable Jigen-ryu.

Teenage Heiji develops a Koito-crush*. on Saigo Takamori (20 years his senior) and follows him around like a lost puppy. Koujirou makes fun of him, but in reality he feels a bit jealous.

* Kajya-cho was a Kagoshima district known now as "Home town of Revitalization" as most of the influential Satsuma leaders of the Meiji Revolution came from there. That also meant that they directly taught the younger generations as part of the gochu. For example Tougou also came from that area. I'm not that sure Heiji and Koujirou were actually from Kajiya-cho, but it being 3km downhill from the Nanshu Cemetary would fit in nicely to the place where Tsurumi and Otonoshin first met so it's likely.

** Gochu was a completely male oriented environment, so homoerotic relations bloomed and were even encouraged (think ancient Greece), hence the term "Satsuma habit" was later used as the synonym of homosexuality in Japan. But for them then it was just a natural thing they sometimes did, and not really an orientation. Koito Otonoshin crushing on Tsurumi might be a bit old fashioned but it's just a Satsuma thing, so of course his dad is cool with that.

1866-67

Both go to Kyoto to serve Hisamitsu Shimazu and there they experience the tension of the Bakumatsu period first hand. They soak up the patriotic moods of the Sonno-Joi fraction, they hear of the the assassinations by the Shinsengumi, they feel a revolution brewing. Being a hot-headed youth in those times made keeping out of trouble very difficult.

1868-69

The Boshin War breaks out. Satsuma, Choshu and Tosa fight to abolish the Tokugawa shogunate. Heiji and Koujirou join up and dispite their young age are given officer commissions*. Coming from a long line of Satsuma’s military commanders it is what they were raised up to do. This war however is nothing like the stories they grew up on. Instead of swords it relies more on modern weapons guns and artillery. What was supposed to be a short battle with the Shogun's forces, turns into a lengthy nationwide campaign of crashing shogunate loyalists long after the Shogun himself resigned. Koujiro and Heiji fight side by side and survive all the way to see the end of it in Hakodate. 

* Only the oficers wore the super cool Satsuma black koguma wigs and I definitely do need fanart of that.

1870

Heiji and Koujiro come out of the war victorious. Most of the positions in the new government are taken by Satsuma and Choshu men, so practically any career path is open to them. Koujiro stays with the Imperial Guard while Heiji joins the Imperial Naval Academy in Tsukiji, Tokyo. They compete for the most ridiculous facial hair* and spend their off nights “drinking green liqueurs under red lanterns”

Ogata's grandfather fought** on the other side for the Mito clan (the last shogun was from the Mito-Tokugawa branch). After the defeat his family falls into poverty. They sell their daughter to an okiya because they cannot support her ***.

* The Haitourei edict from 1871 allowed samurai to cut of their chonmage and encouraged them to experiment with western haircuts.

** I’m guessing he was active in the Boshin by the fact that he had an old gun lying around.

*** This "Ogata's mom comes from a fallen samurai family" theory has been going around but I'm not super sure about the time frame here. Usually maiko get promoted to geisha when they're 20-21. That means to already be a geisha when she gave birth to Hyakunosuke she must have been at least 12 when she was sold. That's quite late for a geisha to start her education. Or I might be wrong about Hyakunosuke's birth date, but I'd really like it to be 1879, so I'm in a pickle here.

1873

Heiji finally finds the guts to propose to Yuki, his Kagoshima sweetheart. They marry and a son is born to them - Heinojou *.

Koujirou's family chooses a wife for him **. She's from a good family, likely Choshu to have some useful connections. Heiji comes to their wedding in his fancy navy uniform to congratulate them and say goodbye. He'll be going to study abroad in the France ***. Koujirou feels like it's his funeral wake.

* Heinojou's birthdate is the first solid date we have for them from the canon, so I'm basing the whole “born in the 1850s” on the fact that the expected age of a man to marry was their early 20s.

** Arranged marriage was the most commonplace in Japan then. The families picked the brides because they were most likely to spend more time with her then the husband, taking care of the house and such. 

*** In 1871 Tougou went to study abroad with 14 other cadets to Greenwich Naval Collage and that would fit so nicely. The problem is that they went 1871-1878 and Heinojou was born in 1873 *shakes fist*. There were also individual exchange programs though and since in canon Heiji is mentioned to have some french friends I figured he was sent to France.

~1876

Koujirou is stationed in Tokyo, while his wife stays in Kagoshima, taking care of the family home. He begins an affair* with Tome**, a geisha from Asaskusa. With Heiji gone she's the only person he can open his heart to.

After abolisment of the clan system and privileges of the samurai, the dissatisfied Satsuma samurai quit the Imperial Guard en-masse and go back to Kagoshima to gather around Saigo Takamori and brew a rebelion. Koujiro - by then a major - is faced with a choice: to go back with his childhood friends, or to stay loyal to the government. He chooses his career.  

* I'm guessing he must have been married already when the thing started, because marrying a geisha wasn't that unheard of and wouldn't really cause a scandal or hinder his career. All three of the Meiji prime ministers Hirobumi Ito, Taro Katsura and Yamagata Aritomo ended up marrying geisha. So Tome being a geisha was not a problem - Koujiro already having a wife was.

** Tome is a random name that Ogata used in his Sugimoto self insert fic. I love the headcanon that it's his mom's name. Because of course he makes everything personal.

1877

In January the Seinan War breaks out. Koujirou fights against his clansmen and his former war comrades *. By September most of them are dead. He is there at Shiroyama where Saigo makes his last stand. Heiji is never going to forgive him that.

When he comes back to Tokyo, Tome doesn't ask, she understands and prepares him angler nabe while he sulks.

* Koujirou's situation is by no means an unusual one. Many of the Satsuma samurai landed lucrative jobs under the new administration and didn't share the dissatisfaction of their disenfranchised clansmen. Even Saigo's own younger brother Judo stayed as a lieutenant-general in the Imperial Guard.

1878

In May, Okubou Toshimichi, the lord of home affairs, who took personal command of surpressing  Saigo's rebelion is assasinated, branded in Satsuma as traitor.

Koujiro is not welcome in Kagoshima anymore*. His wife moves to Tokyo to avoid harassment. Keeping his affair with Tome is becoming more difficult. Especially when he learns that Tome is pregnant **

In December Heiji comes back to pick up the pieces.

* Both Okubo and Saigo Judo moved their families to Tokyo because of this situation, so I'm guessing that was a thing. They received some backlash from their compatriots but eventually things normalized (for Judo at least, because Okubo was, you know, slashed up dead in an alley). By 1898 Saigo was acknowledged by the government as a tragic hero and bygones were bygones. Yet Heiji still talks with the Satsuma dialect, while Koujiro doesn’t even have a trace of it left.I wonder if he still used it when talking to Heiji.

** Geisha were not supposed to have sex with their patrons. The fact that she chose to give birth to Koujirou's son tells that she dared to hope that he'll at least acknowledge him.

1879

In January Hyakunosuke is born*

* Ogata's birthdate is a shot in the dark. He could be anywhere between 1878 and 1883. I just really like the idea that he was born right into the middle of such a chaos.

EDIT: GoldenKamuyHunting pointed out that Ogata had to be born after 1881, since Noda placed him as Older than Usami. This ruins the timeline a bit, and I’ll have to think of the way to reorder it to fit. For now, treat the 1879 as canon-defying :(

~1881

After pressure from his parents and from Heiji, Koujirou comes clean and learns to make his official family work. Koujirou's legitimate son, Yuusaku is born*. 

From now on he effectively ghosts Tome. Her mental health** begins to waver. Tome quits being a geisha and moves back to her parents in Ibaraki ***. 

* Also a shot in the dark. This would make him 23 when he died and 2 years younger than Ogata.

** Before the 20th century the white makeup geisha wore was made out of lead, making them more likely to develop lead poisoning, the first symptom of which is the decline of intelectual ability. Fun fact: lead gets passed down in breastmilk in quantities super-harmful for the baby, so if we go with the theory "Tome went crazy because of lead poisoning" than that would explain so much about Ogata...

*** This is likely due to her health, not due to giving birth. She could have just sent Hyakunosuke to her parents and kept working. God knows how they made ends meet after that. Before they were be so poor that they had to sell their daughter. Now they were much older, she was sick and unable to work, and her child was another mouth to feed. Not to mention the cost geisha education was worse then US collage loans so she most likely had a large debt she barely started to repay. Was Koujiro at least decent enough to pay child-support? Oh god *realises* it was Heiji who was paying them, wasn’t it? *heart breaks*

1886

Heiji and Yuki's second son, Otonoshin is born, 13 years after the first. What's up with that, Heiji?

1887

Koujirou goes to Germany* to study military tactics.

Hyakunosuke (8) feeds his mother rat poison. Koujirou doesn't come to the funeral.

As a result Hyakunosuke is brought up by his grandparents alone. He likes his grandma. They might instill in him the same kind of dislike for the new government as in the case of Kadokura. They definitely install a dislike for his deadbeat dad.

* Japan sent most of the promising officers abroad to soak up the knowledge how to run a modern nation. The army was mostly modeled after Germany (the Japanese were impressed by their recent victory against France) so it's the safest bet that Koujirou went to study there sometime in his life. In 1887-88 Nogi and Soroku Kawakami were sent to Germany. So it still depends if Nogi exists in GK universe and Koujirou just tagged along with them, or are they completely interchangeable.

1888

A new division is formed in Hokkaido. Tasked with guarding the north and developing the land.

1889

Heinojou (16) passes the Naval Academy entry exams with highest marks, determined to follow the footsteps of his father.

1894-95

The first Sino-Japanese war breaks out.

Heiji and Heinojou take part in the Battle of Yalu River. Heinojou is stationed on the flagship Matsushima under admiral Ito Sukeyuki. Matsushima gets badly damaged. 57 men die (including three officers) and 54 more are wounded.

Heiji silently watches his son burning from his ship. Comes back a wreck of a man. Gets awarded a title of Baron under the kazoku system *.

No clue what Koujirou could have been doing then. It’s likely that he was part of the army that conquered Port Arthur (back than still called Lushunkou) the first time around in only 3 days **.

* I need to double-check that with the raws since I'm not sure Tsurumi calling him "lord" is meant to imply he had a noble title, or if it's just a honorific. Many of admirals had titles so it would be highly likely someone with a lineage and a service record like Heiji also got one.

** this experiance would make him a pefect choice for later leading the operation in 1904 so this would make a lot of sense, but it would also be a pretty heavy take, since that would mean he was present during the Port Arthur masacre. And as a senior officer too, so it’s hard to find any excuses for him if that was the case. Did witnessing the atrocities there influence his later opposition to the Japanese expansion into Manchuria? Was his instruction for Yuusaku not to kill anyone motivated by trying to protect his son from sharing his guilt?

1895

Tsurumi comes back from the war and joins the 7th (actually more like he’s demoted out of the 2nd). By then Koujirou is the head of the division *

* I’m guessing Tsurumi had to have enough time to work on him, to be able to learn all about the Koito family troubles and come up with the plan how to use them. Did he get into Koujirou’s confidence? Or was he just reading his private letters?

1900

Heiji stays in Kagoshima and spoils/neglects his second son. Tsurumi "accidentally" meets Otonoshin and they visit Saigo's and Heinojou's graves.

Later that year the whole Koito family moves to Hakodate and Heiji takes control of the Ominato torpedo division *.

* The Ikazuki was a new class of light destroyers specifically made not to repeat the tragedy of too large and too slow Matsushima. No wonder Heiji was willing to move across the country for that.There were 6 of them made in total. Cool factoid: One of those destroyers sunk after a crash with a civilian steamship off the coast of Hokkaido in 1909.

1902

Ogata (24) joins the army and specifically volunteers for the 7th division planning god-knows-what. By conscription he would have landed in the 2nd (Kantou region). 

Koujirou doesn't acknowledge him. Tsurumi does.

The Great Hakodate kidnapping takes place. Koujiro sends his best intelligence officer from Tsukisappu to help his friend and keep things discreet. Afterwards Heiji learns to appreciate the son he has left.

Later that year Otonoshin passes the exam to join the Army acedemy.

Fresh out of the academy Yuusaku (21) joins the 7th division. His father, plagued with guilt and bad life choices instructs him not to kill people and not to sleep around.

Yuusaku meets Hyakunosuke. Hyakunosuke tries to get him to kill people and sleep around.

1904-05

The Russo-Japanese war.

In February the war starts with Japan launching night torpedo attacks on the Russian fleet stationed inside Port Arthur. Heiji leads the third destroyer squadron aboard the Sazanami*. They continue the attacks over the next months trying to impose a blockade. After the Battle of the Yellow Sea, the victorious Japanese Combined Fleet effectively traps the remaining Russian warships inside Port Arthur. The Russians can't get out, the Japanese can't get in. Heiji can only wait and watch as the Japanese Army struggles to capture Port Arthur by land.

Koujirou leaves the 7th division behind when he is promoted to a member of staff of General Nogi’s 3rd Army. They land in Incheon in April and reach Port Arthur in August to start the siege. It is a drawn out blood bath. After wasting tons of lives in pointless assaults, the Japanese realize quite late that the key to victory lies in capturing the 203 Hill overlooking the harbor. Koujirou is made chief of staff for this operation.

In October they get the news that the Russian Baltic Fleet has left Tallinn and is on its way to reinforce the besieged Pacific Fleet. The race starts. If Koujirou fails to capture the hill before the Baltic Fleet arrives, the Japanese Fleet will be annihilated, and Heiji along with it.

In November the 7th division arrives in Port Arthur. They don’t get special treatment from their former commander and they’re sent head first to the 203 Hill. They capture it on 5th December, only after the artillery stopped caring weather they hit their own or not**. From their new position they destroy the whole Pacific fleet.

The death toll is 80 000 soldiers. More than half of the 7th is gone. Among the fallen are second lieutenants Hanazawa Yuusaku and Nogi Yasusuke - general Nogi's only remaining son (the first one died earlier in the same war).***

Hyakunosuke thinks that the losses wouldn't have to be this high if they just had more snipers like him. But nobody listened.

*  All of the Ikazuki-class destroyers were quite active during the war. I placed Heiji on the Sazanami just because there’s the most info about what she did and when.

** The winning strategy was implemented by Kodama Gentarou. He was sent to Port Arthur with the authority to replace Nogi. He had enough guts to sacrifice soldiers falling to friendly fire in one coordinated assault instead of bleeding them out by continuous suicidal frontal assaults. He didn't officially replace Nogi though, and he let him take the credit for the victory, because they were friends. It's a really cool story.

*** Interesingly enough Yasusuke, was also shot in the back of his head. His father when he saw his body asked only “Was it after he had completed his task, or was it before?”

1905

The 7th move on to Mukden. Koujirou and Nogi along with them. 

In May the Baltic Fleet arrives. Without Port Arthur, they try to get to Vladivostok to resupply. Tougou's fleet intercepts them in the Tsushima strait and despite their smaller number, crushes them decisively. Heiji's destroyer Sazanami, captures the destroyer Buyini with the wounded admiral Zinovy Rozhestvensky **. 

In September the Treaty of Portsmouth is signed. The Trans-Manchurian Railway gets handed off to the Japanese. Later Koujirou strongly opposes the plan to develop it ***.

** Heiji's torpedo division was also responsible to delivering the finishing blow to the flagship Knyaz Suarov. Later this was written on Knyaz Suarov's last moments "While she had a gun above water she fired, and not a man survived her of all that crew, to whose stubborn gallantry no words can do justice. If there is immortality in naval memory it is hers and theirs". Gives me the chills.

*** Did he see that it would lead to more war? Mantetsu was the reason behind the Manchurian Incident in 1931 and later for the breakout of the second Sino-Japanese war, where a really ugly face of Japanese imperialism saw the light of day. So, was Koujirou a good guy all along? This I hope will be explained in the manga.

1906

In January Nogi returns to give a victory report to the Emperor *.

Koujirou "commits seppuku" by his son's hand. "Writes" a sappy goodbye letter to Heiji (probably also by Ogata's hand).

Heiji gets seduced by his son's dashing young commander and does some stupid-treasonous things for him, convinced that Central Command was to blame for pushing Koujirou to suicide.

In November Mantetsu is established.

* Nogi breaks down while making the report and asks to be allowed to commit seppuku for allowing such high casualties. The Emperor forbids him. Nogi waits 7 years until the Emperor dies and commits seppuku on the day of his funeral.

Disclaimers

I would say half of this consists of what already is in GK canon (even if it’s written between the lines) or history. The other half are my free guesses for what I personally think would make a better story ;)

I tried and tried to do thorough research, but in the end I’m just a humble fangirl, and not a historian, so if there’s something I got wrong, missed or misinterpreted please correct me - learning history is a never-ending story.

Sorry for linking directly to the scanlations. Support the manga by buying the volumes if you can.

This list will most likely be growing since I will eventually figure out what Koujirou did during the Sino-Japanese war, and I’m only starting digging in to the details of the Boshin War, so I’m sure I’ll expand upon that.

If anyone ever wants to use this information for a fic, please do. Copy it all if you want to. I don’t mind the slightest. I’ll love you to pieces for writing anything for them at all!

[gunnerpalace]

So how would you rewrite it? I think you said something about doing that?

That would be the subject of Hyperchlorate Part III. (Part II again being detailing everything that went wrong, and Part I being going over what made the story unique.)

In essence there are the four major changes I would make to Bleach:

Radically expand upon (and show, don’t tell) character relations in the story. We are repeatedly told that so and so are friends, or family, or colleagues, or whatever, and we essentially never see it (outside of Tatsuki and Orihime at the very beginning). It’s critical to caring about and interlinking the characters and seeing them grow and develop. For example, someone made a point that the Xcution arc demonstrates Ichigo’s bonds with Soul Society are stronger than with his own friends. That’s true, and you can see it in the Japanese cultural context of him using their first names (even for Toushirou!) whereas he keeps calling Uryuu and Orihime by Ishida and Inoue. There’s a definite social distance there. But it’s a subtle thing. And it really needs to not be subtle. There needs to be a lot more interactions between characters; plenty of characters literally never interact at all, and plenty of characters look fucking terrible for their apparent gross negligence that serves zero point other than to maintain the Mystery Boxes (here’s looking at you, Isshin, Ryuuken, and Kisuke).

Recontextualize everything after the Soul Society arc. I am not opposed to certain places, people, or concepts (e.g., Hueco Mundo, the Espada, Fullbring, the Soul King, etc.) but the way they were introduced and handled was, frankly, garbage. Arrancar, at least, were set up rather early on. The rest… was a bunch of ex nihilo shit. It came out of nowhere with no setup. I also don’t really enjoy the thematic inversion of Hueco Mundo seemingly purely for the sake of subverting expectations. So, I would restructure everything that happens after that point in gross detail.

Refit, standardize, and clearly and consistently implement and allude to the grand plot. If there was going to be some grand purpose to the Bleach universe, it needed to be made clear textually, not just thematically, throughout the story. It needs to be set up to the reader, if not to the characters, very early on so they “get” what everything is building toward. That absolutely was not done.

Having a real ending that actually involves our protagonists making a substantive change. I’ve definitely been over this before.

That’s all well and good, right? So what sort of things would I actually look to change?

As an example of the high-level stuff… In terms of narrative, internal consistency, and plot, the whole Substitute Shinigami thing makes no fucking sense. It makes literally zero sense that Ginjou was the first one in several thousand years, and Ichigo was only the second. It makes zero sense that a technique to transfer powers to humans exists and is taught at the academy, can be known to have a “low chance of success,” and then made a crime when it’s happened a grand total of two times, unless it was all a long con just to catch Ginjou, and in that case it’s dumb because he doesn’t matter. (We’re supposed to believe Soul Society allows Hollows to run roughshod everywhere but they’re really obsessed about catching this one dude but not enough to actually task anyone powerful to go do it? No, none of that makes sense.)

It also doesn’t make any sense that there are only a grand total of 6,000 to 7,000 Shinigami to patrol its nebulously defined area of responsibility. (Is it the whole world? Is it just Japan? If the latter, are there other Soul Societies? If the former, where are the foreigners? Sure seem to be a lot of people who look foreign, but they all have Japanese names and speak Japanese in a manga that clearly at least recognizes Mexico. Why would foreigners accept a feudal Japanese afterlife? This is another small example of what I mean by the grand plot being fucked.)

It also doesn’t make a lot of sense that the only Shinigami worth a damn are Captains, Lieutenants, and the occasional Seated Officer. (This is canonical, by the way.) Almost all of them are total trash who would lose to the most basic bitch Hollow, let alone an Arrancar. Meanwhile, your average Quincy can mop the floor with all three.

You know what would make a lot more sense, and work better with what’s on paper? Here are some ramblings from my notes on this subject:

i think it’s sorta like… you wanna mirror the structure of the Hollows; Shinigami as a whole are like Menos, although they are almost all Arrancar (there could be some very low-ranked/new Shinigami who do not have shikai, these would be the “rookies”), whereas substitute Shinigami are like masked Hollows, with some overlap into Gillians/Menos Grande

- Captains (General Officers) are at the level of the Espada (with obvious differences among them correlating to Espada generated from Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas)- Lieutenants (Staff Officers) are at the level of the Privaron Espada and some of the stronger fracciones- Seated Officers (Officers) are at  the level of most fracciones and wild Adjuchas [sometimes from the 4th Seat up are more on the level of the above, e.g., Ikkaku and Yumichika]- Unseated Officers (NCOs) are at the level of weak fracciones, or on the order of holding off a Gillian- Substitute Shinigami (Enlisted) are at the level of individual Hollows

Substitute Shinigami are basically what Soul Society sets up to deal with the Living World rather than directly intervening, because “they have better shit to do;” they’re probably set up like a secret society of beat cops, and yeah, if the Shinigami proper notice spiritually sensitive people while setting up new districts or maintaining their assigned ones, they shank'em and induct'em (usually these people attract Hollows anyway so it’s a “become one of our grunts or die” type deal; maybe if they refuse, the Shinigami kill them instead for shirking their duties?)Hollows aren’t the only spooky thing running around in the night either; they’re probably relatively rare, and other weird shit like revenants and ghosts are more common

i also have some notes here about how it’d be cool if Substitute Shinigami were like, an established thingand were expendable gruntswith actual Shinigami being rather more elite, even if they’re not seatedlike it’s XCOM with supernatural shithaving shikai should be a big fucking deal; even knowing kidou should be like, impressiveyour average Hollow should be equivalent to a Substitute Shinigamian unseated Shinigami should be like a Menos Grandea Shinigami good at kidou and a weak zanpakutou should be like a weak Arrancara seated Shinigami should be like a medium Arrancar and know shikai for surelieutenants should be like Privaron Espadaand captains should be like the Espada (or higher)

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. My first big change to Bleach would be dispensing with the concept of substitutes as being rare. They should be the main interface for the human world (and expendable, and have a high turnover rate). Rukia being there should be A Big Deal. (Have her sent there specifically to monitor things, like a Commissar? To look for Grand Fisher? Whatever.)

Ginjou, were he to exist, would then need a different backstory, but that would be real easy to build out.

As an example of additional character interaction, I’ve already detailed my idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi should be Rukia’s surrogate parents. (And solving the problem of when Rukia got the Hogyouku.)

As another example, it has never made sense to me that Rukia is the one that stays to fight Shrieker while she tells Ichigo to take Karin home. Rukia knows her powers are iffy at best, and should know better. She damn near almost dies (along with Chad) for no reason other than… ??? For dramatic tension and to reveal Chad can attack Hollows, I guess. Even Ichigo calls her out on it. It should’ve been flipped, with Karin revealing things to Rukia and learning about her, and that should be built into Karin repeatedly noticing the two of them (which was never, ever paid off in any fashion whatsoever). This is just one example of more moments of character interaction outside of fights.

As an example of reworking things, I like the ideas of turning the hunt for Aizen into something more like Apocalypse Now, that Aizen kidnaps Karin and Yuzu instead of Orihime, and that his hideout is deep in Rukongai instead of Hueco Mundo:

in one of these posts, @icchiruki was like, Aizen shouldn’t have run off to Hueco Mundohe should’ve run into Rukongaiand that’s geniusbecause it makes him more sympathetic because they have a legit reason to be aggrieved with Soul Societyand also lets us see the other side of the coinwhich, conveniently, leads toward my idea of the HM arc as being more like Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now, with Aizen as the equivalent of Kurtz out among the Montagnardsand also lets there be some spooky eldritch shit like whatever was going on with Ukitake and folk belief in TYBW, but less out-of-nowherebecause it’s pretty clear that whatever’s going on with the divine in Bleach is fuckin’ weird and Lovecraftianwhich can tie into that other bit of work i was doing with “where does all this come from anyway”so you stitch it all together and pull the seams snug and you get an actual expansive worldthen you keep the focus squarely on Ichigo, Rukia, and co., as they navigate through itthe further out into Rukongai you go, the weirder it should get; Shinigami should also routinely get sent to Hueco Mundo (both of these being the more important shit they gotta deal with) and recon and do stuff there; Hueco Mundo itself should be less empty wasteland, more kind of weird dark mirror of Soul Societylike a Kill Six Billion Demons type deal

These are just examples. I could go on.

tl;dr Make Bleach much longer and more personable and personally relatable, show your hand on some of the mysteries and backstories much earlier, and make it simultaneously more fuckin’ weird and more human.

[juuheizou]

A Defense for Mutsurie (Meta-ish I Think?? Maybe??)

Okay I have always hated and still hate this pairing (actually I forget it exists until something on my dash reminds me that they are a fan-favorite pair and only then does my apathy boil over into hatred, but same difference), so let’s get that out of the way now before someone clicks the “read more” expecting something positive bc I have been steeping this hatred for at least four years now and this is how I feel:

TL;DR every single panel I photographed for this post and then some could just as easily be read as “they don’t even like each other as people and have no romantic interest in each other wth" and that is in fact how I personally read it, but if someone really wanted to push the romance angle, they could conceivably move each other’s character development along through a deeply unhealthy romantic relationship and subsequent breakup.

CW: mentions of abuse, mentions of bullying, unhealthy relationships, long post, like an absurdly long post jesus christ

Disclaimer: I kinda ignore the entire second half of the series for so many reasons that would really need their own post to get into, though ultimately my own happiness and ability to enjoy this manga, so I am writing this with pre-Rushima characterization in mind, but it has been a fan-favorite ship since all the way back in the Auction arc, so we good.

Let’s start with some Abuse 101. Survivors of abuse (bullying is a form of abuse, even ignoring the second half or so of the series) often get caught in a mean cycle of leaning towards whatever is familiar and end up repeating what happened to them with different faces. Low self-worth plays a part in that cycle, and Mutsuki does indeed have low self-worth.

That in mind, I can see Mutsuki perhaps gravitating to Urie because men with power over him who hurt/mistreat others (thought it was worth getting specific, since his anxieties toward men imply that something happened even before the Rushima debacle, but simply being made to feel small and worthless works too, if we are just acknowledging the bullying at the Academy) are what’s familiar, what he has internalized he must be worth, and that is what Urie, internal dialogue and hidden feelings aside, is.

Urie is not a nice person. This isn’t an attack on him or on anyone who thinks he is interesting as a character. It’s just a key part of that character. One example of oh so many, nice people do not threaten to kill their teammate to keep them at a distance (shown below, context seemed needed, so see Ch.1 for the whole scene if you don’t want to take my word for it). As a natural consequence, no one is particularly friendly towards him either. He is alone because he is mean.

Mutsuki, on the other hand, was not a bully but a victim of bullying. No matter what characterization you acknowledge, he didn’t do anything to be bullied at the Academy. That’s how bullying works. Bullies and apologists will justify it, but it is never really about the victim or the victim’s fault: it is always on the bully. He is alone because other people are mean. 

Arguably, he even makes an interesting foil to Urie because they have that isolation in common and it reflects in both their self-esteem, but only Urie is unkind while Mutsuki is kind to the point of putting himself in danger to help others.

The reason this matters is Mutsuki sympathizes with Urie and treats their experiences with being alone like the same thing when he comforts him during the Auction, though, as outlined above, they are not.

I am not saying this is the same thing as Stockholm Syndrome or that being a prick is the same thing as being abusive, but Mutsuki’s concern for Urie is frankly closer to that kind of dynamic than any kind of attraction or ‘understanding him’ or whatever the shippers call it. 

Given their backgrounds and the characterization leading up to that moment, it has always rubbed me the wrong way that the fandom, for the most part, did not read it that way and decided “new favorite ship” rather than “that’s fucked up”. 

Still not calling Urie abusive (to quote another frustrating series I can’t seem to fall out of, it’s not a crime to be an asshole), but the real dynamic v. what the fans got out of it does, to a degree, remind me of Harley Quinn and the Joker. Canon showed something tragic. Fans twisted it into something romantic.

So we’ve justified Mutsuki pursuing Urie. Why would Urie reciprocate when he has done nothing but look down on Mutsuki this whole time, let alone actually been nice to him? 

And has absolutely no qualms putting him in danger and risking his (Mutsuki’s) life for his own gain?

This is where we get hypothetical, considering they did not actually pursue each other and get together, but here’s what makes the most sense in my head: Mutsuki is kind to him no matter how unkind he is back. He equates their struggles and would probably see putting a limit on his sympathy as putting Urie through what he went through. 

Urie could exploit that, if deep down, he hates being alone. He has exploited what he knew were vulnerabilities with both Shirazu

And Yonebayashi

So before anyone tries to accuse me of being unfair to Urie, he has no problem manipulating people to achieve his end. In fact, it is a reasonable interpretation that he did manipulate Mutsuki and his compassion/desire to protect others, in the part of the Auction where he is assigned to get an injured Mutsuki to safety and instead takes a detour to confront a large group of ghouls.

It would not be the most out of character thing of him to encourage Mutsuki’s warped perception so that he can keep being a misanthropic prick, but he doesn’t have to be one alone. Mutsuki would be a means to circumvent the natural consequences (isolation) of his actions (having the personality of a venomous sea urchin and, you know, taking deliberate measures to isolate himself).

The only redeeming side to this toxic sham of a relationship is when it ends, when Mutsuki breaks that mean cycle his past conditions him to get caught in and leaves. He is done being pushed around and looked down upon and Urie is one person too many to take that shit from. No one gets to make him feel like Urie made him feel again. He learns to stand up for himself and comes out of it stronger. 

In fact, we see him stronger and carrying himself with more confidence for the brief moment between him leaving the Quinx and everything going to shit (for reasons outside the Quinx or the two of them, btw) on Rushima. 

Urie needs consequences. Especially being so self-centered, his flaws need to betray him, affect him negatively. Losing the last person left who will put up with his shit would accomplish that. If even Mutsuki can’t take it, he has to question whether his isolation is his own fault. He has to decide whether he wants to keep his cutthroat attitude or start acting like he cares about people other than himself and maybe not be so alone. He learns to be decent (maybe even *gasp* nice) to people and comes out of it kinder. 

Again, a version of that does happen with them working separate in canon. He is not necessarily shown to be kinder, but he is at least better at working with a team, considering he is leading the Qs and they aren’t falling apart at the seams.

Not implying that correlation equals causation in either of these last two points, but I figured I would supply as much canon support as I can, just to back up the idea that the theoretical character development I have in mind would be plausible.

I alluded to Harley Quinn and the Joker in terms of how the fans saw something tragic and twisted it into something romantic in that scene during the Auction, but there is another reason I picked that specific reference. I read a post once that ended with “The Joker is not Harley’s love interest. He is her origin story”. I liked that, and I think, to a less extreme point, it applies to this ship too. They would be terrible for each other as love interests, but they might have had some interesting potential as each other’s origin stories*. 

*If you’re into using romantic drama for character development, of course. Personally, romance is my absolute least favorite plot/character device, but I have this little thing called integrity and thought it was most fair to at least acknowledge that potential.

[sonnets-and-snowdrops]

Heya! Hope you're pleasantly drunk by now! Is the Shunsui b-day thing still on? If so, Shun-Uki head canons please! Whatever you want to say about it (I reckon you might have a thing or two...)

Hey hey, Anon! Yes yes, the birthday thing is absolutely still on - and, actually, I think I might just, like, leave it on indefinitely. I kinda like this game, heh.

(Sorry I didn’t get to your ask last night, btw. I fell asleep at like 1am because I’m a square. Eh. Oh well. Shunsui would be proud of me for that, too. He’s a guy who gets the whole sleep thing.)

Anyway! ShunUki headcanons, you ask? As a matter of fact, my friend, I do indeed have a headcanon or two! But because going through all of them would take a long, long time - I think I may just describe one of them here, if that’s cool. Do feel free to drop another ask later if you’d like more, though!

One of the most bizarre and fascinating things to me about Shunsui is that his first-person pronoun of choice is boku.

For those who are unfamiliar with Japanese first-person pronouns, Wikipedia has this to say about boku: “Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of “feeling young” when used by males of older age. Also used when casually giving deference; “servant” uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe).” That doesn’t convey all of the flavor of using the pronoun “boku” in anime, but for context - other Bleach characters who use “boku” include Uryuu, Hanatarou, Yumichika, Gin, Kira (and Rose, now that I think of it - so everyone of significance in Squad 3, I guess - huh. Maybe there’s something in that. Also maybe not. Eh. Whatever), Szayel, Tsukishima, Urahara during TBTP (he switches to atashi later, which is a whole nother thing, but I won’t get into that here), and others. In the world of anime, I find that boku is used by characters who are either “polite speakers,” characters who are young, or characters who are a little bit slippery, and are trying to hide something.

I didn’t know until I was well into the TYBW arc that Shunsui used boku - mostly because I’d watched the anime dubbed *cringes* and was reading the manga in English. I’d assumed, knowing that he was a powerful dude with chest hair, that he used ore (which I’ll get into in a minute), or maaaaaybe even washi (i.e., the old man pronoun). 

So, already reeling from this new knowledge, I, of course, had to ask myself - which pronoun does Ukitake use? He’s kind and polite, isn’t he? Surely - surely - a guy like that uses boku…?

But no, my friends - Juu-chan, tragic and handsome embodiment of Shinigami sunshine that he is, uses the first-person pronoun ore.

…which, as promised, we will discuss here. Ah-ha-ha-hem: “Frequently used by men. Establishes a sense of masculinity. Can be seen as rude depending on the context. Emphasizes one’s own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than masculinity or superiority.” So, yeah - basically, in anime terms, it’s a quick way of letting the audience know that this character is a man who is comfortable with being a man, and in some cases, it can be a way of conveying that a character is assertive, or a generally informal speaker. Other Bleach characters who use ore include Ichigo, Renji, Kenpachi (so, just to be totally clear here, Ukitake uses the same first-person pronoun as Kenpachi), Shuuhei, Iba, Starrk, Nnoitra, and Grimmjow (which - again - Ukitake uses the same first-person pronoun as freaking Grimmjow), among others.

Learning that boku was Shunsui’s pronoun of choice and that ore was Ukitake’s forced me to think about both of them a little bit differently - and, I eventually found, in ways that I liked, and that made sense for their characters, when I actually sat down to connect all of the dots.

I think that ShunUki is a frequently misunderstood ship. I’ve read dozens of fics, for example, that portray Ukitake as a perpetually ailing optimist who leans heavily on his best friend for support, both physical and emotional. There’s validity in writing fics like that - and, full disclosure, I’m an absolute sucker for a well-written sickfic - but I think that ending one’s conclusions about ShunUki there does a disservice to both Shunsui and Ukitake, and oversimplifies the ship in general.

I believe that, generally speaking, Ukitake is a fundamentally stronger person than Shunsui is. He’s encountered hardship, but he’s well-adjusted and personable. He’s emotionally intuitive, but he still possesses the ability to make difficult decisions. He’s a man of peace who has still applied himself wholeheartedly to learning the arts of war. He’s a cute, sweet, goodhearted gentleman who loves sweets and has no idea how to cultivate bonsai. He knows who he is - strengths and weaknesses and all - and he is not ashamed of himself. And his pronoun of choice, ore, reflects his quiet but undeniable inner confidence.

Shunsui, by contrast, drinks all day and takes naps in the middle of the afternoon on a regular basis. Shunsui can’t keep up with his paperwork. Shunsui doesn’t have a good relationship with his family.  Shunsuihas a soul whose greatest power manifests itself through a dark, painful, intricate story of lovers who commit suicide.

When you think about it like that, is it any wonder that Shunsui might feel a little more comfortable using boku, an potentially more elusive pronoun than the arguably expected ore?

I still had to figure out, though, why these pronouns still threw me for a bit of a loop. On the surface, I still struggled to see Ukitake as anything but a boku user (or maaaaybe watashi, I guess, but that’s a little stuffy for him imo) and to see Shunsui as anything but an ore user.

And thanks to these thoughts, a headcanon (I promise, I didn’t forget what this question was actually about lol) was born.

I think that, when Shunsui and Ukitake met during their Academy days, Ukitake was a boku user and Shunsui was an ore user. Ukitake valued politeness and etiquette - he still does, even during the main arc - and as a young boy raised in a noble family, he would have been taught to speak politely and properly. He would use boku at this time in the same way that a character like Uryuu would - it’s polite, it’s correct, and it gives a small level of respectable deference to his peers. (Plus also, there’s no way anyone can convince me that little baby Juu-chan wasn’t all wide-eyed and cute when he entered the Academy, and cute, wide-eyed characters - think Deku from BNHA, Nagisa from Free!!, Rock Lee from Naruto if you want the super-extreme version haha - tend to use boku in anime and manga.) Shunsui, by contrast, was a too-cool-for-school slacker boy who liked chasing skirts and who had never had as much freedom at home as he’d wanted. While Shunsui never wanted to attend the Academy, I don’t doubt that he valued what little new freedom it gave him.

See below:

Also, if this doesn’t look like the face of a smug-ass ore user, then I don’t know what does:

We know that Shunsui and Ukitake met at the Academy and became friends. We also know that, during the main plot, Shunsui uses the pronoun boku and Ukitake uses the pronoun ore. It may not line up completely perfectly when all is said and done, but simply put, my headcanon is this: As Shunsui and Ukitake spent more time together as friends and learned more about themselves as they grew older, they slowly switched personal pronouns.

This happened for several reasons.Ukitake ’s story is pretty straightforward - you see multiple young protagonists switch from boku to ore over the course of their respective anime (such as Shinji Ikari from NGE and Simon from Gurren Lagann, for example). This shift usually implies that a character has grown up, or has grown more confident - and I figure that’s exactly what happened to Ukitake. He entered the academy as a bright, young boy with a lot of physical challenges to overcome, and probably a lot of self-doubt, but through six years of training and education, and six years of friendship with a lunk like Shunsui, he slowly began to gain confidence - enough that, by the time he entered the Gotei proper, he was ready to claim ore as his pronoun of choice.

Shunsui’s journey was probably a little more roundabout. Shunsui is a strange guy, and he stands out. He’s different from those around him, and attending the Academy probably highlighted those differences. He’s smarter than almost everyone he interacts with, for one thing, and there’s a duality about him that most people don’t experience firsthand - the key aspect being that he’s a male-presenting person with a female-presenting zanpakutō spirit, which is, I think, indicative of many other dualities that exist inside him. My guess is that, at first, Shunsui tried to hide a lot of his complexities, and to present himself as a boring, straightforward, oh-hey-I-like-slacking-off-and-chasing-girls kind of guy, and using the pronoun ore was a quick, easy, uncomplicated shortcut that helped that image. But as Shunsui began to grow closer to Ukitake, I’m sure that he began to letUkitake see the many dualities within him - whether he intended to or not. Ukitake, being the kind soul he is, embraced these parts of Shunsui. He told Shunsui that it’s okay to be complicated, that it’s okay to be strange - that it’s even okay to be a little messed up inside. That it’s okay to be who you are, even if it isn’t what people expect, or ask of you.

So, in short! The headcanon goes like this:

When they first met during their Academy days, Ukitake’s pronoun of choice was boku, and Shunsui’s was ore. As they became friends and moved through the Academy together, Shunsui helped Ukitake’s confidence grow, and Ukitake helped Shunsui towards self-acceptance in general. By the time they graduated the Academy - or perhaps shortly thereafter - Ukitake’s pronoun of choice had shifted to ore (Shunsui’s former pronoun of choice) and Shunsui’s pronoun of choice had shifted to boku (Ukitake’s former pronoun of choice). These pronoun shifts reflect Shunsui’s and Ukitake’s growth, both as individuals and as friends.

Phew! Welp, uh - that got longer than I anticipated it would. But it’s a personal favorite headcanon of mine, and I haven’t ever had an excuse to share it publicly, so - thanks for giving me the excuse I needed, Anon! I had fun writing this up - hope you had fun reading it, too!

Ask me about myShunsui headcanons!

I’m not drunk anymore btw because yaboi can’t do that two nights in a row lol - I hope this was still fun anyway!!

[askthenewhopespeak]

Okay I just found this blog. Get me up to speed. Who's already dead? What are the ships?

//*Cracks knuckles* Welcome. Apologies for the horrendous, outdated state of the pages that should fill you in on this, that’s all my fault, but here goes:

Canon:

-Blog canon is very close to the canon of the series, with some exceptions:

-The last… four or so? chapters of the Killer Killer manga are non-canon. Fujigawa stabbed Asano and left her in a wheelchair.

-The Danganronpa Togami novel is… weird. It’s apparently actually all a dream or the matrix or some shit in the actual book? Either way, the characters from it do exist but most of them are dead now..

-Everything else is pretty much canon. Including the brainwashing. Unfortunately.

Deaths: (Posts in which they died are linked)

-Everyone who died in canon. (They occasionally come back as ghosts, though that hasn’t been happening much lately due to mysterious circumstances.)

Season 1:

-Haiji Towa. When Makoto Naegi first reopened Hope’s Peak, Haiji tried to kill him. Makoto was saved, however Hajime Hinata made good on a promise he made that if anyone tried to restart the tragedy, he would kill them, and we are down one pedophile! Hajime ends up leaving the school immediately after.

-Kanon Nakajima (Leon Kuwata’s cousin if you haven’t read Ultra Despair Hagakure, don’t worry, it won’t matter for much longer) was infected with a lethal disease, along with 7 others, and there was only enough cure for 7 people, so Kanon decided to down a handful of sleeping pills.

-Stephanie Storm. An OC (there are a lot of those on this blog) who was the aunt of the main antagonist of Season 1, Maverick Storm (Another OC). Maverick shot and killed her, and that caused the AI she made, one that looks but does not act like Chiaki, to go haywire, essentially becoming evil and have mysterious motivations, also kickstarting the meta plot where she hijacks posts away from me. Look for either zalgo text or 1′s and 0′s replacing I’s and O’s when that happens. Anyway Stephanie really wasn’t all that important, but her creation is.

-Kazuya Togami: Adopted sibling of Byakuya’s half sister, Shinobu. Kazuya was a rapist. That’s… basically all of his character. Shinobu killed him by stomping his chest in after he kidnapped her, and everyone rejoiced.

And then we hit Season 1′s finale, where a bunch of people died:

-Suzuhiko Ootsuki: Shinobu’s other brother, whose personality was cocky hitman rapist. He was killed by a clone of Nagisa named Nine, who’s literally Izuru Kamakura 2.0

-Maverick Storm: The main antagonist of the previous season got an arrow through his eye courtesy of this season’s main antagonist. It was very much deserved, for a large, large number of reasons.

-Yasuhiro Hagakure: The first major canon character to die, Hiro, Hina, and Mahiru were trapped in a gym with Saki Maruyama (OC), a bloodthirsty mercenary working for Maverick. Maruyama tortured Mahiru, resulting in her being rendered mute, and Hiro sacrificed himself by distracting Saki long enough to let Hina get Mahiru to safety.

-Gundam Tanaka: Gundam was killed by Mutsumi Wakatsuki,  an OC belonging to @shslnerdytrash. Wakatsuki gassed the infirmary, knocking everyone in it out, and killed Gundam.

-Seiko Kimura: While she was dead before the series started, Seiko was brought back as a ghost, and worked as the school’s chemistry teacher up until the Invasion, where Kamiko Hisoka, (@hopeful-blue-wanderer‘s OC) shot Jataro in the chest. Seiko then performed what’s called a “Ghost Sacrifice”, and gave up her existence to save Jataro’s life.

-Junko Enoshima: This is a two-in-one. We got a Junko from an alternate timeline pop in, where she didn’t appear to be despaired, but Fuyuhiko decided he didn’t want to take chances and shot her in the head. (I’m not linking it as it happens in the same post that Gundam dies) Then this universe’s Junko appeared as a ghost, and killed Takemichi Yukimaru (Mondo’s captive in Towa City, and leader of the Crazy Diamonds on this blog since Mondo’s been dead for a few years now). But then the Chaos!Anon (Another contributor to the meta plot) then forced her to save Yukimaru’s life, contributing his own life force to do so.

Alter Ego: AI Chiaki killed him, but he’s back now, with a brand new color scheme!

And I believe that’s everyone from Season 1. I’m sure I’ll be corrected if I’m mistaken.

Season 2

Makoto Naegi/Future!Mukuro Ikusaba: OK, technically, Naegi is alive, having been stabbed by Tsumugi Shirogane and then saved by the ghost of Mukuro Ikusaba from the future (I’ll get to that). But his current situation is… complicated and not yet fully explained on the blog.

Saki Maruyama: Saki died in a killing game set up by the group Invidia. The contestants of the game were all criminals who had escaped the law in some way, and Saki died to a random guy who was literally just a name and a crime. Out of all the characters I’ve killed off on this blog, Saki is the one I am the most dissatisfied with, in the arc I’ve probably had the least fun writing… minus potentially the Couples Games. But at least the couples games didn’t lead into a months-long hiatus, so…

Kresta Ivanov (OC): A minor villain from Season 1 who didn’t really do much, and got killed along with most of the other minor characters at the end of the killing game, as her mod left the blog.

Couples: 

(I’ve seperated this into 3 categories, 2 canon characters, a canon character and an OC, and 2 OCs)

Canon Character X Canon Character:

Makoto Naegi x Kyoko Kirigiri: Kyoko believes Makoto is dead, and he has not done anything to dissuade that idea, so this couple has technichally broken up.

Toko Fukawa x Komaru Naegi: They’ve been dating for about a year and a half, and are the moms to the Warriors of Hope (Minus Monaca).

Hajime Hinata/Izuru Kamukura x Nagito Komaeda: Hajime and Nagito were dating before Hajime chose to leave Hope’s Peak and hunt down Remnants, and during that time, Izuru’s personality awoke and took over, working with Maverick for a while, until Maverick nearly killed Nagito, during which Izuru decided to save Nagito’s life and bring him to the infirmary, and Izuru’s pretty much been hanging out since (Would you try to kick him out?). They’re technically not dating, but try getting Izuru to do anything useful without Nagito asking him.

Mahiru Koizumi x Hiyoko Saionji: They’ve been dating for… I dunno, a while. I don’t really have a whole lot else to say on that. 

Ryota Mitarai x Imposter-san: Neither of these two have worked up the courage to ask the other out.

Sonia Nevermind x Gundam Tanaka: They were together… but then Gundam died and that ship sank.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu x Peko Pekoyama: I’m gonna say they got married offscreen.

Akane Owari x Nekomaru Nidai: Married offscreen and Akane is currently about 4 months pregnant.

Masaru Daimon x Kotoko Utsugi: They’re dating.

Shinobu Togami x Yui Samidare: Both are interested in the other but neither has acted on it.

Mekuru Katsuragi x Misaki Asano: Same situation as Shinobu and Yui.

Canon Character x OC:

Takumi Hijirihara x Naomi Kizakura: Married, and Naomi is currently about five months pregnant.

Mikan Tsumiki x Kyoji Nakamura: Dating, and Mikan is currently about eight months pregnant

Misako Kawa x Nagisa Shingetsu: Dating.

Ryouko Otonashi x Sly: Ryouko is a clone of Junko Enoshima, and she and Sly recently ran off to join Invidia, a vigilante group that kills criminals

OC x OC:

Momo Kuzuryuu x Alyssa Storm/Satoru-Kun: A dimension-travelling nine year old has attracted both a psychopath and a ghost (both of whom are also kids). This can only end well.

Sora Hijirihara x Mitsuru Nakamura: Fankids from the future who time travelled here and ended up getting together.

Blog Lore:

The blog is set in 2020, roughly 2 years ahead of the real world’s time.

Alternate Universes: The Multiverse is a thing here, there are a few characters who come from alternate universes (Mainly the V3 kids, and an OC, Momo Kuzuryuu, an alternate universe daughter of Fuyuhiko and Mikan).

Time Travel: Five kids from the future (Sora Hijirihara, Mitsuru Nakamura, Kaede and Shuuichi Naegi, and Akio Hinata) travelled back into the past. Shuuichi came with his “Guardian Angel”, the ghost of Mukuro Ikusaba.

Ghosts and the afterlife: The Afterlife is a small town square, with a cinema to view the current happenings in the living world, and an odd, white building that leads to reincarnation. Current ghosts living at Hope’s Peak Academy are Natsumi Kuzuryuu and Kiyotaka Ishimaru.

Ghost Sacrifices: Ghosts can give up their existence to save the lives of dying humans. So far, this has happened three times, all noted up above.

Clones: In this world, the science to copy a person and recreate them exists. You wanna know the science? Ask @commander-bubbles-the-first. He’s the smart one around here. Current clones that exist are Ryouko Otonashi, a clone of Junko Enoshima, and Nine, a clone of Nagisa imbued with the abilities of Izuru Kamakura.

The Izuru Kamakura Project: Hajime Hinata was the eighth student to undergo the Izuru Kamakura project. Only one of the other eight survived.

Hope’s Peak Academy: Re-opened two years ago, with Makoto as the headmaster, it’s now just a school, no longer for the best of the best (though, it turns out that kids who come tend to have a talent of some kind anyways, go figure). The school finds itself under attack. A lot. Following Makoto’s disappearance, Byakuya Togami took over as headmaster.

Ultimate Despair: This once powerful terrorist group has now been reduced to a mere shell, with the largest ‘cell’, (if you can even call it that) being reduced to 4 people and a monster hiding in Seoul.

Invidia: A vigilante group that surfaced in April of this year, Invidia was responsible for starting a killing game full of kidnapped criminals, which was eventually shut down due to Monaca Towa and Kokichi Ouma working together, as well as Nine invading. They recently resurfaced with a bolstered membership, slaughtering their way through a prison, and are discussing whether or not to let a stoway from said prison join them.

Final note:

A lot of OCs have come and gone on this blog, some only leaving as recently as two arcs ago. It’s very likely that if you go through some older posts you will see them, but for most, their plotlines died when their characters left.

So uh, that’s a sorta kinda recap on this batshit crazy blog. Welcome! I hope I didn’t scare you off with all this.

[damnedreams]

Is it me or was Sasuke never really allowed to act like a child his age other thsn the filler episodes? The Kakashi face reveal fiasco made me sort of realize that Sasuke got to goof off, show that he's not above it all and act like a kid for once which the Canon episodes never really showed him dojng. Showing hin goofing off with Sakura and Naruto more would probably make him siding with orochimaru more impactful in my opinion.

You're right in my opinion anon!

There are several shots in the anime and several panels that hint at Sasuke taking on the responsibility of taking care of himself. Despite having just lost his entire world at the tender age of eight.

Maybe it wasn't until Team 7 that he got an adult figure back in his life. By then it's been four years, he survived somehow yanno. We know he went and took himself to the academy. In between that I think we can assume he was looking after himself. We never learn if he earned inheritance from the loss of his clan or if he was living off a small amount of money.

Though in the anime, when he leaves we do see he lives in some kind of apartment. He kept it neat and tidy.

Now it's been like a year or more since I've touched canon material, but I believe there is a panel where Sasuke is in his old home. He's laying on the floor, you see pictures of the kitchen. There's like cobwebs on the dish rack.

I don't know if this was in those Naruto books, but I also remember information about him preparing nutritious meals for himself. In order to help his body become stronger for his goal. This could be why he prefers tomatoes, because of their nutritional value and dislikes sweets (unless he just dislikes them which is okay). Everyone has their own interpretation.

Anyways Team 7 may have been when he started interacting with people on a more regular basis. These were kids his age, so while he saw them as beneath him I think they were able to bring out the kid that still was inside of him. I mean was saw before his family was killed he was a pretty happy, cheerful child. But as we all saw Itachi came and threatened those bonds he was forming, reminded him what he lost and how easily Itachi can take it away. :P Especially when he saw that he was nowhere near beating Itachi ( which is unrealistic for Sasuke to be at that level esp. considering who Itachi was...but yanno). 

I’m gunna end it here because I’ve rambled, there’s so much to touch on! A lot of this is subject to everyone’s interpretation as well. 

Maybe they never showed it, but I think it was implied. Again it’s been a while since I’ve touched the manga, but when Sasuke remembers Naruto and Sakura during this genin days I think they’re shown happy? Smiling...

End it off with a happy Sasuke baby face! 

[korotsu-blog]

have some pre genin / pre shippuden headcanons because canon makes me mad and ino deserved better development than this

#1. as a child , ino took pride in befriending her classmates. she knew what she signed up for when she decided she wanted to be a shinobi and train at the academy and knew it was important to build bonds with her potential team mates and future comrades. she especially took pride in building others up , rather than putting them down , and didn’t ( still doesn’t ) tolerate bullying. ie. her friendship with sakura. but i want to extend this to naruto , as well. because i really don’t believe inoichi is the type of man who would follow in other parents footsteps by telling her to stay away from him. and the fact that kishi would write ino as someone who is willing to help others who are suffering from this treatment and only direct it to sakura just baffles my mind. she befriends naruto , too. sees him out on the swing behind the building and offers her friendship with a flower that represents just that. she does the same for sasuke , though when her efforts result in failure , she doesn’t press it. tells herself: ‘ you can’t force him , ino. it’ll be fine just being his classmate. ‘

#2. in later episodes we see that the teams as kids were actually pretty close. or at least , that’s what i interpreted it as. i’m not sure it still applies in the manga but i want to think those are memories ino still holds onto well into her teen years. she’s a social girl , very in tune with reading people’s emotions and sharing common interests , no matter how small. it’s those interests that make her want to continue knowing them and build on them. of course there are going to be some people she may or may not stay close with as they get older , but she still views them as comrades and she’ll do whatever it takes to protect them.

#3. she so smart. me proud.

#4. the discourse between ino and sakura over sasuke is something i really don’t like to acknowledge for my ino. instead we’re going to make it canon that ino was nothing but supportive in sakura’s efforts to win his affections and let them grow up being happy and cute and give them the true friendship they deserved.

#5.she’s around 12 when ino discovers her attraction to girls. she’s always thought boys were cute and wanted to hold their hand but now she’s aware that maybe holding a girls’ wouldn’t be so bad either. realizes a little while later she wouldn’t mind holding sakura’s.

#6. never been one to hold back when something didn’t rub her the right way. if she’s got something to say , she probably won’t hesitate to tell you. specifically if she knows it’s wrong and would cause trouble. she’ll remind naruto not to do something that’ll get him into trouble but gives up when he doesn’t listen and just gets him a lollipop or something when he gets scolded.

#7. she bakes. makes her friends goodies when there’s something to celebrate or they just need some cheering up.

#8. sometimes they don’t always turn out good. eat at your own risk.

#9. ino’s mom is dead. yeah , i said it. put’em up if u wanna duel.

#10. thats all i got for now thanks for readin!!

[lucanogis]

I want to hear about "Who is the one that writes on their arm to remind themselves to do something?", because it features one of my favourite lines. It was part of an ask answer, but it's still a ficlet!

Ah, my beautiful married domestic children. How I love them. Thanks so much for saying it features one of your favorite lines! Uh, I just reposted the ficlet beneath and added comments. Hope it’s interesting! You can also find the fic here. 

They were laying side by side on the king sized bed of their honeymoon suite when she saw the dark ink on his skin. Outside, the sun was starting to set and the sky was a flaming gold, a soft red, an inviting blue all at once.

For some reason, descriptions of sunset / sunrise show up in my stories A LOT. To be honest, I just like talking about colors, since I tend to look at the sky in the evenings from my window. If we’re being logical about it, this would probably be a day after the wedding itself, since by the time you get to a honeymoon suite it tends to be dark already. They just spent the day in bed banging enjoying life.

Hotaru reached out, softly tracing the outlines with one finger, his blue eyes following her movement as she went over his palm, to his wrist and up his arm. When their eyes met, she could see the faintest hint of a blush on his cheeks.

Look I haven’t written smut yet (publicly) but you can be damn fucking sure that Hotaru doesn’t need to do more than touch Luca with a single finger to make him lose his mind. So this scene is shit I find hot. You kidding, slow, languid touches? Damn. Rated R. I add this stuff so I can rub my hands over my face and giggle weirdly, by myself, in my room. 

“I wasn’t sure,” Luca told her, “whether I would remember all that I wanted to say. I didn’t want to miss anything important, so I wrote my vows down. Ended up winging it though but hey, at least I came prepared.”

I write stuff on my hands, which inevitably ends up smudged and unreadable. But doing it beforehand has a calming effect - you can tell yourself that if you do end up forgetting, you have something to trigger your memory. Helps with anxiety! I imagine Luca as a nervous person, not because he’s necessarily worried about himself but worried about not being enough for other people. 

And he wants Hotaru to know everything he feels, obviously - doesn’t matter that he’s already showed her what he feels the years they’ve known each other. Of course in the end he looks at her and forgets the worry and the pressure of doing everything just right because it’s not about being right, but about being true to yourself. Hotaru’s brand of tough love can be difficult, but if she choses you? Then you know that someone brilliant believes in you whole-heartedly. That makes winging it seem strangely OK. 

She squinted and shifted closer, her bare chest brushing his as she peered at the writing.

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Married adults aren’t shy about their naked bits. They’re comfortable around each other. 

“What does it say?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Luca joked. “I have to save a few of my good, eternally cheesy line for the rest of our lives. A regular eighty year old woman might not notice I’m recycling love declarations but you? You would notice right away. Besides-” He kissed her, lingering on her lips for a few seconds before drawing away again. There was a smile on his face and she knew, without seeing it, that it mirrored the one she was wearing.

“It’s just variations on a theme,” Luca said.

I love the “variations on a theme” line. One, because I’m a faux-cultured person who likes to seem smart. Two, as a nod to the fact that love can look differently every time, for different people. But at the same time, weirdly, it’s also the same thing for everyone, the thing every person shares. Variations on a theme!

A gift to one of my best friends once upon a time was a bowl full of letters, one for each birthday. There were like 20 or so letters in there, so she’s set for a while. Saving lovely messages for people you love time has seemed adorable to me ever since. 

“What’s the theme?,” Hotaru asked. “Financial security? Tax breaks?”

He laughed. “Yeah, I really wanted to talk about taxes in front of our friends and family. No. It’s love, you giant menace.”

Luca grabbed her finger, using it to point at the now smudged words on his arm.

“This one says that you’re going to change the world and I can’t believe I’m blessed enough to get to watch you do it.”

Obviously, Hotaru will change the world. I’m a jealous person - if people are successful, I easily get worried that they’ll forget about me in their greatness. So feeling overwhelming joy at other people’s success is a sign of love and selflessness to me, hence why I incorporated it here. Luca’s always been happy about the joy of others - just think of his reaction to Natsume and Mikan’s kiss. His wife’s brilliance would be a daily marvel to him. Precious baby. 

Together, their hands wandered.

( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)

“This one,” he said, “is about how much I adore the face you make whenever you get one of your big ideas. You squish your nose together like a bear that smelled something delicious. And this one’s about about how I’m not going to let you forget that I have your back, always. And this one’s about how I’m going to love you no matter what but that’s a given. Oh and this one,” he pointed at the one on his wrist, “is the first thing you ever said to me.”

A small thing, that seems insignificant but combines a) a detail you only notice by really paying attention to another person and b) is a reminder of something Hotaru really cares about, aka inventing. And Luca’s always had her back - when they infiltrated Z, when they started the Uprising, when he safeguarded her headphones. I don’t think she needs the reminder, honestly. But it’s there anyway. And love, forever and ever and always. I’m a cheese at heart. 

“What was it,?” she asked. Luca laughed. “I was standing next to you in line at breakfast and you said: ’Get out of my way’,” he quoted from memory. “You know what I answered?”

“No,” she said.  

“‘I don’t think so, Imai’. I’m pretty sure I got shot for that.”

We have no canon evidence of this, obviously, but can you imagine Hotaru Imai reacting any different to a blond kid with a rabbit and giant blue eyes, someone she instantly pings as a “person she can push around”? But Luca’s got Natsume to deal with and back then, she has nothing to blackmail him with. He’s not moving an inch.  

Hotaru felt a burning sensation in her eyes and she turned away, hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder. His hand came up to rest on her back, lightly tracing up and down. At length, she turned back. Outside, night had fallen and the stars had come out bright and clear.

INTIMATE TOUCHING

And the stars are out, because Luca and Hotaru became friends beneath the stars in my canon-verse. 

“I’m glad,” Hotaru told him.

“About what,?” Luca asked.

“I’m glad you didn’t get out of my way,” she said. “Right next to me is where I want you to be, now and…for whatever’s ahead.”

She could see the glint of the wedding ring on his finger when he reached up to brush a strand of hair out of her face.

“That’s good then,” Luca said softly. “Because right next to you is where I want to be for life.”

Hotaru often ends up alone in the manga. She ends up alone in the very beginning, going to the Academy to save her former school. She ends up alone when she is shot, and her friends go to save her. Subaru is there, but plot-wise, she is isolated. And she ends up alone in the end - stranded in a time-stream. These are all choices she makes (aside from getting shot) because she thinks they are necessary to save her friends.

Luca often follows people. He follows Natsume, first to his home when they’re children and then all the way to the school. He follows Yuu’s illusion into the woods because he thinks animals are threatened. And he follows Mikan into Z’s hideout and into the cellars under the Middle School. He does these things because he thinks they are necessary to save his friends.

Usually, they aren’t given much of a choice: They’re fighting for their lives or the lives of their friends. Here, that isn’t the case. What do you chose when it’s a peaceful, quiet moment? Who do you chose?

I like to think that when there’s peace, they chose each other to stay with and fight for, and that after this choice, neither one of them ever has to be alone again. 

[philosofangirl]

Fan Theory: Perception of Time in VK/VKM

Hello VK/Zeki Fam, long time no see! *Hugs everybody*

I’ve been offline for a millennia due to a new job and family life stuffz but I I finally have some free time to go into the VK meta I’ve been dying to sink my teeth in to! (beware, there may be terrible puns ahead.  You’ve been warned.)

From what I’ve seen in the Vampire Knight meta-sphere, reactions towards the past two chapters are mixed, leaning towards the Hino-san, what the fruitcake are you doing to us now? end of the spectrum. 

@getoffthesoapbox​ @soulisthirsty​ @zerolover66​ and others before me have written some excellent analyses & theories, and I don’t plan on doing a full rehash.  Instead, I’d like to propose a different theory...

I’ll start this fan theory with a question:   Do Yuuki and Zero perceive time differently?

This may seem like an odd question, so let me break it down.  

Do people perceive time differently?  

It can be argued that they do.  You often hear folks talk about “life changing experiences” or how a near death experience alters their perspective.  If you are diagnosed with a terminal illness, and know that you only have a few months left to live, your perception of time will likely be very different than that of a healthy teenager.  Even though both individuals could theoretically die in a freak accident at the same time, or the sick individual finds a miracle cure, the way they value their time, more likely than not, differs.  

You can also look at it this way: one year to a 3-year-old is 1/3 of their life, whereas one year to an 80-year-old is 1/80 of their life.  Time passes differently for children versus adults.

Which leads me to another question: 

In Vampire Knight, do mortals with finite time perceive time passing differently than immortals with infinite time?  

From what we’ve been shown canonically, I believe there’s a chance that the answer is yes.  

Let’s take a look at a scene from VKM chapter 10:

In this panel Yuuki comments that 60 months feels like 1 month.**

60 months = 5 years

That means 5 years feels like 1 month of “normal life” (basically 1 month to the rest of us.)

Take your age and divide it by 5. If you’re 20 years old, that’s the equivalent of 4 months.

(More under the cut!)

I’m no math whiz (believe me haha) but I found this factoid intriguing because I believe it gives us some insight into how much time has “passed” for Yuuki, and what time feels like to purebloods.  It’s easy for human fans like us to question how Zeki could be together for so long without significant progression, but, if Yuuki perceives time differently, it could explain a lot about her character.  

⚜ ════ • ⚜  • ════ ⚜           

Overly simplistic calculation time: let’s go with how long 50 years “feels” like:

(note: if my calculations are incorrect hit me up, math and I are barely on speaking terms xD )

12 months * 50 years = 600 months

Let x = the amount of time 50 years feels like to a pureblood. (Keep in mind, 60 months feels like 1 month)

1 month / 60 months = x /600 months 

60x = 600

x= 10 months

That’s less than a year.

⚜ ════ • ⚜  • ════ ⚜

So, do mortals and immortals view time differently?  

Going off what Yuuki said and my calculations above, I believe they do!  Another canonical example of this can be found in Yori & Hanabusa.  Yori openly wonders how different her life would be if she had the same amount of time to do things as Hanabusa.  Hanabusa also expressed that he wanted to cherish every moment because he knew just how fleeting their time together would be. Even after Yori’s death, he still looks young, and as a noble vampire he will probably live on for many, many years. 

The pressure of Yori aging spurred their relationship development, and they got married before any of the other characters in relationships (that we know of.) This wasn’t by accident.  In contrast, vampires like Shiki and Rima never had that kind of pressure (at least not after Rido was dealt with) so they could wait 50 years before getting married.  This didn’t seem to faze either of them.  Also, in Volume 1 Ichijou celebrates his 18th “human” birthday, showing that vampires do seem to measure time differently (though I can’t recall whether this was ever thoroughly explained.)

Back to the original question: Do Yuuki and Zero perceive time differently?  

I believe this answer is an unequivocal yes, and arguably this difference in perception has led to Zeki not being on the same page romantically speaking. I would argue that this difference has also played a key role in their different character motivations. They may have the same destination in mind (marriage, babies, happily ever after and all that jazz), but they are not in agreement about how long it should take (or what it will take) to get there.

Let’s start with their childhoods:

ZERO grew up in a family of hunters.  He always felt he needed to take on a heavier load to ease Ichiru’s burden.  Hunters, given the nature of their profession, almost certainly have a high mortality rate, and low life expectancy rate.  They’re trained to fight, but they can still die in combat.  This is something that Zero is aware of from a very young age.  Then, Zero’s family is attacked by Shizuka and he is damned, doomed to become a level E. Every day he knows there’s a chance he can go mad, hurt someone and be killed by one of his comrades.  It even drove him to the point of suicide.  Thinking you can die or lose control at any moment isn’t the sort of mentality that easily goes away.  He always slept with a weapon close at hand for a reason.  

YUUKI, in comparison, did not grow up with constant reminders of death.  At a young age, she was very sheltered and told she would live forever as Kaname’s bride. In high school her lost past and vampires concerned her, but she didn’t live in fear of death every moment of her life. When she was reawakened she discovers anew that she will live forever, outliving everything apart from other purebloods.  It takes her some time to adjust to this reality.  At one point she convinces herself that the only way to fix everything is to sacrifice herself.  But in this scenario she was the biggest threat to herself, since Zero and Kaname were ready to do just about anything to stop it.

When Kaname sacrificed himself, she made it her mission to return the favor and atone for her sins one day.  Suddenly she was no longer going to live forever, now she would live up until the time was right.  Yet, just like the concept of “forever”, there’s no exact date so how long she has remains rather vague beyond “sometime far into the future.”

Given their backgrounds and physical differences, I posit that the two of them view time very differently, and this difference needs to be communicated. Is 50 years a long time? Yes, yes it is. Does this excuse letting problems fester this long? No, it does not. 

However, even though Zero deserves all the patience awards for how long he’s stayed by Yuuki’s side, if my theory is correct, Yuuki perceives her time together with Zero the way an immortal pureblood would, not a human being nor a soldier.  Being a pureblood likely exacerbates this compared to the average vampire.  This discrepancy could mean 50 years to Yuuki feels like 10 months, but 50 years to Zero actually feels like 50.  It may sound absurd to us, but we’re talking about immortal fictional creatures after all.

Now hold onto your hats, because I believe the implications go beyond her relationship to Zero.

Other Out-There Theories

Theory #1: given Yuuki’s perception of time, her carefree attitude, and her idea of what being in a relationship consists of, there’s a chance that Yuuki still “feels” like a teenager. Even Zero commented offhandedly that Ai acts more mature than Yuuki.  In some ways that’s why the people around her (particularly Yori and Zero) say they love her—a certain loveable idiot/ innocence and uncomplicated desire for the people around her to be happy. I believe her pureblood influenced perception of time, (and possibly self if she really sees herself as a teenager and not a grown woman) is at the root of her stagnation. Compared to her 3 thousand year old parents, being ~80 would still be seen as very young for a pureblood.

Theory #2: I, like many readers, had hoped that Yuuki would mature during this period post Kaname, and in some small/subtle ways I believe she has. When Yuuki says “there’s nothing innocent about us anymore” in VKM10, I recalled her time with Zero in the shower at Cross Academy, which in many ways was portrayed as a “loss of innocence” and a “sin.” But then after her arc 1 development you go to arc 2 where Yuuki is treated like a child and a doll by Kaname. Maybe her perception of who she really is got screwed up along the way.

Yuuki has gone through a lot, and even she has noted just how much time has passed. She let her hair grow out, she had a kid.  Yet, she still clings to Kaname, a symbol of her childhood, when the healthy thing would be to move forward for the sake of those around her.  Others have theorized that this might be related to some sort of trauma. If Yuuki really does still “feel” like or “see herself” as a teenager, and 50 years feels like 10 months, the wounds caused by Kaname would still feel very raw. 

I have PTSD myself, and sometimes an event that happened four years ago feels like it happened just yesterday.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to live with it while holding a skewed perception of time.  It’s not as simple as “getting over it” and letting time take its course. I believe the only way she can get back on the preferred path is to confront what happened to her head on.  Only time and Hino will tell whether that happens. Until Yukki deals with these issues and learns to step forward, she’ll remain stagnant.  

Why would Hino do something like this?!  

Some of you may be wondering: teenage Yuuki again?  What does Yuuki “feeling” like a teenager mean? I believe it means that she can also, at times, still act like one.  At the end of the day this is a shoujo manga, and the largest reading demographic will be teenage girls who need to relate with the characters.  Plus, it’s a story; conflict drives the plot engine along. I suspect this was intentional on Hino’s part, but maybe I’m giving her and the character too much credit o.o’ 

What would this discrepancy mean for Zeki?  

I predict how time passes/ how they perceive time passing will probably come up (and definitely should come up) at one point in their relationship.  After all, if Yuuki is just biding her time while Zero is counting every day, the narrative will grow dull and things will not turn out well. If they’re not on the same page, how could things work out between them? 

We’ve already seen it on the character’s minds to a degree: Yuuki expressed her fear of abandonment/ loneliness/ oblivion in arc 2, and Zero has reminded Yuuki that her time is her own to spend how she pleases. How one spends their time and with whom one spends their time is a recurring theme. It took a long time (practically 2/3 of the original series) for Yuuki and Zero to accept their very existence as pureblood and hunter, but they’ve never had to really work at the logistics of a romantic relationship between a pureblood and non-pureblood (something we haven’t seen, at least not any longterm/ healthy ones.) 

With Yori’s death and Ai in sleep mode, I expect to see time and how they spend their time to crop up again.    

Throw away observations:

If Yuuki has difficulty assessing the passage of time, it makes it that much easier for her to cling to certain portions of her past. In some ways, when Kaname changed her he was trying to encase her in resin like the rose, almost freeze her in time as the loving girl he desired.  Yori, and to an extent Ai, probably served as reminders that time was passing in a world where most of the people Yuuki deals with pretty much stay forever young.  It’s possible that, despite time passing, she herself is still frozen.  Yuuki has been shown as sentimental on several occasions, including VKM 10 where she explains why she still holds on to her charm bracelet.  She talks about keeping it as a reminder of her promise and as a reminder of a time when she was human.  But, as she’s shown on numerous occasions, she’s a vampire. Body and soul. She has no plans to change that, yet she still clings to a piece of her humanity.

Interestingly, in VKM before Zero’s death Yuuki said she would devour him showing her love “the way vampires do.” In VK, drinking the blood of your beloved, the only one who can quench your thirst, is how vampires traditionally express their love for one another. In VKM10, when Zeki are discussing their relationship and Zero asks what a restart means, she begins with several very innocent, naive suggestions that harken back to their days at Cross Academy. Soon after, in one of their first on screen “acts” as an official couple, Yuuki tells Zero to drink her blood to the last drop. 

This scene is controversial among Zeki fans given its (some would say Yume-like) undertones. But, it got me wondering whether Yuuki really knows how to participate in a mature relationship, whether either of them know how to be in a healthy romantic relationship.  If Yuuki thinks “drinking blood is the way vampires show their love for one another” and she acted on that, then is she just going through the motions and doing what she thinks she should be like she did in the Kuran Manor?  Or, was this just a natural impulse? (oh, the multitude of interpretations!)

I think Yuuki’s desire for something “human”, or her image and expectations from when she was a human teenager, could be in conflict with what she believes vampires are supposed to do.  This inner struggle between her two selves may have cause the disconnect and tone shift.

This is all conjecture, so hopefully we’ll see more of what’s going on inside Yuuki’s head in the chapters to come.  I keep thinking back to Yuuki’s dark expression when talking to Ai as a child about the relationship between the three MCs, and of the mystery box.  Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking on my part, but I don’t think Yuuki is as daft or simple as she’s sometimes portrayed to be.

That’s all folks!

Thanks for reading my philosophizing this far!  Please let me know what you think, or if you have theories of your own!   

Philosofangirl, out.

**Note: So far, we have no way of knowing how subjective this statement is.  This could be Yuuki’s interpretation of time, or it could be accepted as common knowledge by purebloods.  All the same, if this is what Yuuki believes then this informs how she perceives time passing, and I believe Hino included this detail deliberately.

[kuriquinn]

Miso Soup Everyday

Summary: This is supposed to be a certainty – the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet he can't fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he's never visited before.

Disclaimer: This story utilises characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelisations, comics or short stories is intended by KuriQuinn in any way, shape or form. This fan-oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the fandom. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organisations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

All plot and Original Characters except for those introduced in the canon books, manga, video games, novelisations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn. (© KuriQuinn 2016—)

Warning: Spoilers for everything in Naruto (up to Chapter 700).

Canon-Compliance: This work is loosely part of the Legacy of Fire series. It is and is not canon-compliant (for reasons that will be made clearer in my as yet unnamed and unwritten Sakura/Sasuke Blank Period Pre Pregnancy Get Together travel fic. Yes, it’s kind of complicated.

Beta Reader: Sakura’s Unicorn

Honestly, it’s a bit of a role reversal.

When they were children, Sasuke was the aloof one—cool and confident, perpetually at ease in his role as the storied prodigy of Konoha. He was the genius of Team Seven, overshadowing Sakura’s presence as if she was only an afterthought. Naruto and he had their rivalry between them, so it was all too easy to consider Sakura as a barely requisite third wheel. Insecure and needy, she trailed after him like a puppy.  

That’s no longer true.

These days, it’s Sakura (alongside Naruto) who is the beacon of hope in the community, the hero little children crowd excitedly around when she walks through the streets. Sasuke is the one people don’t think of—or rather, prefer not to think of. He’s the third wheel of the Sannin’s heirs, whose reputation is maintained only by his connection to the other two. He might have helped to save the planet, but it’s Sakura’s name that opens doors.

And if that doesn’t work, her fist splinters them.

Since returning to Konoha, Sasuke has noticed the whispers and stares that follow them when he and Sakura go anywhere together. Initially, he thought the behaviour was directed at him—judgement for his past deeds and the dark legacy that will hound him until he dies. Except, the general tone of the whispers is usually deferential. He knows from years of wandering that people are more likely to avert their eyes than risk his attention. Thus, it’s Sakura to whom they look—she holds the admiration of every inhabitant of the growing village.

What’s surprising about it, though, is how much he doesn’t mind. As a child, the idea of being second to anyone was unacceptable, especially compared to his teammates: Naruto, because he was the village screw-up, and Sakura because she was just support—an admirer to cheer on his successes and, in the early days of their team, to highlight just how far Naruto was beneath their collective skill level.

It’s all different now.

Sakura is the one who stayed in Konoha, working hard to earn the respect and awe of the village. These days she walks confidently in the sun while Sasuke is content to watch her from the shadows.

It’s ironic, actually. In three short years, a civilian-born girl with no bloodline talent to speak of achieved more widespread respect than the Uchiha clan did in three generations.

He wonders what his parents would have made of Sakura. He likes to think they would have approved.

Father would have been terse and silent, but even he wouldn’t be able to deny her incredible talent. Mother would warm to her instantly because her temperament was rather similar. And his brother…

Sasuke can’t help a rueful, bitter smile at this. Itachi would have probably figured out Sasuke’s feelings for her before Sasuke himself did.

He’s aware enough of his shortcomings these days that the admission comes easily. He understands that he’s cared for Sakura since their Academy days—lack of natural talent aside, she intrigued him, even if he didn’t show it. Humans are visual creatures, and her hair alone meant he couldn’t pretend she didn’t exist the way he could with other kids. On top of that, she was intelligent enough to beat him on every written test, though she never sought to compete with him.

This, too, is ironic. Perhaps if she’d approached him as a potential rival, he would have seen her value earlier on.

Instead, his childhood memories of Sakura are of a pretty and shallow (yet kind) girl trailing behind him. Even then, she had a remarkable tenacity and dedication, bringing him Valentine’s Day gifts every year and patiently enduring his constant rebuffs. Sasuke didn’t even realise until much later—until that last fight with Naruto—that with every passing year, another chunk of his heart fell into her waiting palm.

Knowing that should make his plans today easier, but it doesn’t.

He’s had nightmares since the end of the war—dreams which take up the space in his head where revenge was once so prominent. Most often, they are of that day long ago when he almost snuffed out her light. Sometimes, Sasuke still feels the phantom heat of the Chidori in his palm, can still see her back bared to him as he moves closer.

He knows now that if he’d landed that blow, he would not have survived the war.

As mad with grief and rage as he was, having Sakura’s blood on his hands would have shattered his already damaged psyche beyond repair. The loss of Itachi coupled with the truths about his brother’s life had thrown him off the deep end; responsibility for Sakura’s death would have kept him there.

He doubts she realises this, even though they’ve spent more time together since his return—partaking in quiet dinners or long walks when her schedule allows for it. There’s even the rare sparring match that leaves him bruised but proud. She doesn’t ask him why he’s around so often or allude in any way to how she feels for him.

If she still feels for him.

She as good as told him in her letters that she was tired of waiting. Likely, it’s too late for anything, regardless of his belated hopes. And yet, despite this, Sasuke has been vacillating about the matter since he came back to Konoha. Until today.

At least he hopes.

It’s become habit to pass by the clinic to pick Sakura up after work. She falls into step with him with more ease than she ever did when they were young. Sometimes, they meander through the town while she chats about her day. Sometimes, they find an out-of-the-way restaurant to get a bite to eat. Sometimes, when she’s exhausted, he simply walks her home.  

Today, though, he leads them along the river toward the lake. They’ve walked this way before, but he’s never led her down the embankment. She doesn’t ask where they’re going, which he takes as encouragement.

The dock where he spent so much time alone as a child looks almost exactly as it did then. The wood is slightly warped, causing it to tilt downward toward the lake a little, but it’s still sturdy. There are burn marks on the edges from lessons long ago. He stares at them for a beat, allowing memories to take him out of the present for a few moments.

Beside him, Sakura is still as well, but it’s a comfortable quiet. Now that they’re older, she’s more intuitive about his reticence. As children, she would talk his ear off as if terminally afraid of a drawn-out silence, filling it by any means. Sometimes, he appreciated this because it saved him the effort of having to maintain a conversation (especially when they were around other people).

Most of the time, though, he just wanted her to leave him to brood in peace.

These days, whether it’s because of her own wartime experiences or her work with those who have suffered its effects, she knows exactly when to simply linger quietly. And, as usual, he appreciates her waiting for him to open the conversation. It takes a little more effort today to find a way to start.

“This where I learned to perform Katon,” he tells her finally, his voice even, despite the way his stomach spasms with nerves.

“Oh?” she inquires, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees her look up at him, surprise and curiosity flickering across her features. He seldom, if ever, talks about the past—even more rarely does he speak of the time before they were genin.

Sasuke nods, staring out across the calm waters. “My father taught me. It was the only thing he was able to show me before he…died.”  

Even so many years later, the pain is still as raw as it was the day of the massacre. The blinding rage is gone now, however. When he notices small, strong fingers tentatively wrap around his right hand and give a brief, reassuring squeeze, his instinct is to return the gesture, instead of pulling away.

“The technique was created by the Uchiha clan,” he goes on, sticking to facts because this is what he knows for sure. Facts are unchangeable, not hinging on chance and sentiment. “My family honed it over the years and, even though others have learned to master it, they could never achieve the exact effect that we could.”

He perceives her nod at this, but senses confusion as to why he’s bringing this up right now. She won’t ask, though, intuitively accepting that he has some purpose. Not for the first time does he think she trusts him far too much than he deserves—far more than he even trusts himself.

But today there is a purpose, and if he could ignore the nagging doubts at the back of his mind, he might be able to get to it. This is supposed to be a certainty—the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet, he can’t fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he’s never visited before.

“Would you like me to teach you?” he asks, inwardly cringing at how tentative he sounds, despite his efforts to be casual.

Luckily, Sakura is too caught off-guard to notice. “You’ve never asked me that before.”

“I never recognised the opportunity,” he admits. Too blinded by rage and revenge, it never occurred to him as a kid that the teammates he considered dead weight might improve faster if he helped them.

Sakura knows this too and doesn’t argue the point. Instead, she says, “I’m not a fire type, though.”

“That shouldn’t stop the apprentice of the Fifth Hokage.”

Sakura scoffs. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“Hn.”

“All right! You’ve got it!” Sakura declares, making a show of rolling up her sleeves and facing the lake. “Stand back and watch me! Shannaro!” She flexes her fingers, preparing to form the requisite hand seals, and then glances back, a ghost of doubt on her face. “Um…any pointers?”

Sasuke’s mouth twitches at this.

He gives her a demonstration and the same advice his father offered.  

She masters the technique faster than he did. Not on the first try, like Itachi, but within hours. He puts that down to her excellent chakra control and the fact that, as a jōnin, learning to master new techniques quickly is a prerequisite. There’s a huge difference between her abilities and those of a seven-year-old with self-esteem issues.

Thanks to her instant healing, there’s no obvious signs of damage—her cheeks aren’t burned, and her lips haven’t chapped from the flame. But the tips of her hair are singed a little and her skin is rosy from the heat.

After expelling the last fireball, Sakura coughs, smoke wafting briefly from mouth and nostrils, but when it dissipates, her eyes are dancing.

“How’s that?” she challenges, hands on her hips and chin jutted out.

Sasuke smirks. “As expected.”

“Oh, come on! That was amazing and you know it! Mine might even be better than yours!”

“Tch.”

She laughs at that.

“I think I burnt my tongue. My taste buds aren’t going to work properly for a week!” Her face becomes inquisitive. “What’s the occasion, though? Or did you really just want to avoid another gourmet dinner at Ichiraku with Naruto?”

As Sasuke has come to expect from her, Sakura provides him with an out. He’s not entirely sure how long she’s been doing that, or even if it’s intentional, but he appreciates it all the same. Today, however, he will not make use of it.

“That’s an extra benefit,” he allows, earning an amused, somewhat conspiratorial grin. He pauses, momentarily at loss of how to say what he needs to say. Eyes trained on the surface of the lake, he steels himself and continues.  “This technique…in my family, it’s a rite of passage.”

He lets that sink in.

“Oh, yeah. I think you mentioned that once,” she says thoughtfully. “Or Kakashi-sensei said it. It’s like a coming-of-age tradition, right?”

“Aa,” he affirms and, trying to lace his words with meaning, confides, “It’s only passed on by close family members.”

“Right. That’s why your father taught you. I think that’s a nice tradition.”

Sasuke winces inwardly because she clearly doesn’t understand what he’s trying to say. It’s not a failing on her part, but his own inability to articulate the point properly. The words are there, but for some reason, they die somewhere between throat and lips. Demons and malevolent gods he can take, but this five-foot-four woman with pink hair makes Sasuke nervous. And it’s not because she can crush his skull with her little finger, either.

“Until one can perform the technique properly, one cannot truly claim the name Uchiha,” he explains, hoping the inflexion of the words conveys his intended meaning.   

But Sakura still doesn’t get it.

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child,” she says lightly. She’s probably imagining him struggling to learn the technique, terrified of failure. She wouldn’t be wrong, either.

The knots in Sasuke’s stomach get worse and, if she doesn’t realise soon, he’ll have to spell it out for her. He’s half-angry about that because she’s supposed to be smarter. She should intuit what he’s trying to say and save him from making an utter fool of himself.

“Not only a child,” he corrects, again elaborately casual. “You performed it perfectly.”

Please…just…listen to what I’m trying to say.

There’s a heavy pause, and then Sakura’s breath catches in her throat. The silence between them suddenly isn’t so companionable now, but fraught with a tension like the entire world is holding its breath. Sasuke doesn’t look directly at her as she parses his words, using that blinding intellect of hers to understand what he’s trying to ask. Still, he glimpses her face from the corner of his eye and this is how he watches her expression blossom with understanding.

Success.

He turns to her.

“I have no right to ask anything of you,” he says plainly. “Not after everything.”

“Sasuke—”

“Sakura, let me…” he trails off, jaw working and his own voice catching as the words get lost again, but damn it, he has to get this out! “I don’t know if I can be what you want, what you’ve hoped for. Or if I can give you everything that you deserve. And it’s possible I’ve waited too long.” He swallows. “But when I think of family—even at my lowest point, where I’d given up on the idea—you were the only one I could ever see myself with. The one that I…”

Again, words fail him, and Sasuke wants to swear in frustration. He needs her to know because maybe the faster he gets it out, the better the odds will be. Sakura deserves so much better—always has—and could have anyone else. She should have anyone else, but he’s still hoping that she won’t want anyone else.

“Say it.”

Sasuke is rather jarringly brought out of his rambling, insecure thoughts by a cracking whisper.

Sakura stares up at him, tears welling in her eyes. Why is it him who always makes her cry? He expected her to be flustered or awkward, but instead, she looks the same as she does when bracing for a physical blow.

This confuses him. “What?”

“I need you to say it,” she tells him, barely above a whisper. “Just once. Say it and mean it.” Her fists clench. “I’ll never ask to hear it again, if that’s what you want. But before I can say yes—to the future, to trying, to…to all of it—you have to say it.” She takes a shuddering breath. “If you can’t, then I…I…”

She trails off as if the idea is too hard for her to even enunciate, too painful to consider—for either of them.

Sasuke has never been good with words. What he feels for Sakura, he doesn’t want to—can’t, really—put into words. There is no collection of syllables or sounds that are accurate enough to describe the girl who gave him her heart when they were children. The woman who waited for him for years, who forgave him for trying to kill her, their best friend, and their entire village. He’s wandered the world, looking for redemption, and it’s only since returning here that he’s realised he had it the whole time.

He wants to tell her all of that, but he doesn’t think she’ll understand. Not now, not yet—not while they’re still getting used to being around one another. Maybe after a lifetime, if she’ll give him that, it will come easier—his words and her ability to trust in him.

But for now, she wants something so simple, something almost infantile, as if a set phrase is a guarantee, a safety net, or a reward of some kind. He knows this, but struggles to give it to her, because it’s so insufficient. And everything about him to date, when it relates to her, has been insufficient.

If he does this wrong, she’ll turn away—it’s why she’s giving him this ultimatum in the first place. In their time apart, she’s developed into a strong, independent individual with unapologetic self-respect and unmalleable resolve. She knows what his hopes are, the unspoken wish behind one of his ultimate goals. But Sakura won’t become the vehicle for his happiness unless she’s sure she’ll benefit from it as well. It’s only fair and Sasuke admires her even more for it, but right now, it’s making him want to turn tail and run.

“Sakura…” He really, really wishes he was better at this.

Just do it already, you ass.

And why isn’t it surprising that, in this moment where the rest of his life might change for better or worse, Sasuke can clearly hear the voice of his idiot best friend telling him what to do? It almost makes him want to check to make sure the halfwit isn’t lurking somewhere nearby.

Regardless of its source, the advice is right. No more good can come of waiting.

Sasuke bends down so that his forehead presses against Sakura’s, bringing them eye to eye. She tenses up and her pale cheeks flush with colour, her lips parting in surprise. If this position prevents Sakura from seeing the colour rising on his own face or noticing that his hand is shaking as it gently takes hers, all the better.

“I don’t know what the future holds,” he says in a low voice, “but I want to spend it with you.”

Her lower lip trembles at this. “Because…because you love me?” Sakura prompts, the question a whisper but with a mettle to it. It’s a firm reminder that she will not let him off easy in this moment.

Sasuke exhales through his nose in defeat, eyes closing in affectionate resignation. “Because I love you.”

When he opens his eyes, Sakura’s are (if possible) wider than he’s ever seen. The utter shock etched into every other feature is simultaneously amusing and worrisome. He wonders dimly if, against all odds, this is finally what breaks her.  

Putting some distance between their faces, he gently taps two fingers beneath the rhombus-shaped seal on her forehead—partially to make sure she’s still cognizant, but also to drive the message home. Sakura has never completely understood the gesture before in the handful of instances he’s demonstrated it, but now understanding flickers into place—that this is not just today, and not only because she asked him, but that he’s wanted this for so much longer.

Glassy green eyes are now overflowing with tears, the droplets winding down the curves of her cheeks and quivering jaw. Mild panic sets in—why is she upset? Shouldn’t she be happy?

“Sakura, why are you cry—mmph!”

Fingers fist in his shirt and a pair of soft lips are planted very firmly against his own.

Sasuke stands frozen for several seconds. Dimly, he supposes he should’ve expected this, because isn’t this what’s meant to happen when two people acknowledge feelings for one another? Essentially, he asked Sakura to spend the rest of her life with him, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that there would be a physical confirmation of this. Only, he didn’t quite expect it to happen so fast. Well, fast, he thinks, is relative. They have been building up to this since childhood, but he’s still not sure—

“You’re supposed to kiss me back,” Sakura mumbles against his mouth. If he wasn’t blushing before, the embarrassment hits fully now.

Still, the permission takes at least some of his discomfiture away.

Slow and tentative, Sasuke returns the kiss. It’s clumsy and uncertain because he’s never done this before, but she makes a small, approving noise at the back of her throat and he guesses he’s doing something right. Sakura tastes like smoke from the Katon and something sweet he doesn’t have a name for. He suspects he could spend the rest of his life trying to figure it out without success, an idea doesn’t bother him at all.

She fits her mouth over his, softly pulling his bottom lip between hers, and Sasuke’s senses fade out. Something like relief passes over him, as if a weight has been pulled from his very soul. The last, tightly coiled vestiges of doubt and anxiety which have gathered in him for years are now gone, and the only thing in the world is her. That, in itself, is mildly terrifying, but in a good way.

Achingly slowly, Sakura pulls away from him, reaching up to brush his hair away from his left eye. Her fingers stay in place, keeping the strands from falling back while her thumb traces a gentle arc from eyebrow to temple. He leans into the touch and she grins at him.

“Well?” she prompts. “What do you think?”

“…Hm?” It should concern Sasuke that his brain takes a second or two to catch up.

“Better than Naruto, right?” she wants to know.

The post-kiss haze vanishes. Sasuke sputters out a wordless response because that’s not how these things are supposed to go. His people skills might be rusty, but he’s pretty sure it’s far from normal to remind the man who just confessed his feelings for you about his (very unwilling) first (and second) kiss with their mutual best friend.

Sakura is laughing, at him or at the situation, he doesn’t know. He should be annoyed about this—and if she ever tells anyone about it, he will be—but the tears in her eyes are from mirth, not pain or sadness and, for once, he doesn’t regret putting them there.

“Yes, by the way,” she tells him happily, leaning into his chest. “Yes to all of it.”

終わり

Thanks for reading my story, and I hope you enjoy it! Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome! If you want to support my writing, I accept ko-fi donations and have started posting original fiction on my patreon account, Kuriworlds I encourage you to check it out!

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[sasusakufestival]

Miso Soup Everyday

Summary: This is supposed to be a certainty – the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet he can’t fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he’s never visited before. [SasuSaku Festival 2017 – Day 2 – Prompt: “Insecurity”]

Disclaimer: This story utilizes characters, situations and premises that are copyright Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump and Viz Media. No infringement on their respective copyrights pertaining to episodes, novelizations, comics or short stories is intended by the author in any way, shape or form. This fan oriented story is written solely for the author’s own amusement and the entertainment of the readers. It is not for profit. Any resemblance to real organizations, institutions, products or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. All fiction, plot and Original Characters with the exception of those introduced in the books, manga, video games, novelizations and anime, are the sole creation of KuriQuinn and using them without permission is considered rude, in bad-taste and will reflect seriously on your credibility as a writer. You will be incinerated by a giant fireball should you be found plagiarizing.

Warning: Spoilers for pretty much everything up to Chapter 699.

Canon-Compliance: As close to canon as fanfiction can possibly be. With a few personal additions :P Takes place during the Blank Period.

Fanon-Compliance: Takes place several years before An Inch of Gold and Unplanned.

Beta Reader: Sakura’s Unicorn

User: kuriquinn 

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Honestly, it’s a bit of a role reversal.

When they were children, Sasuke was the aloof one – cool and confident, perpetually at ease in his role as the storied prodigy of Konoha. He was the genius of Team Seven, overshadowing Sakura’s presence as if she was no more than an afterthought. Between his rivalry with Naruto and the attention Kakashi lavished upon him, it was all too easy to consider Sakura as a barely requisite third wheel. Insecure and needy, she trailed after him like a puppy.

That’s no longer true.

These days, it’s Naruto and Sakura that are beacons of hope in the community, the heroes that little children crowd excitedly around when they walk through the streets. Sasuke is the one people don’t think of – or rather, prefer not to think of. The third wheel of the new generation of Sannin, whose reputation is maintained only by his connection to the other two.

He might’ve helped to save the planet, but it’s Sakura’s name that opens doors.

And if that doesn’t work, her fist splinters them.

Since returning to Konoha, Sasuke has noticed the whispers and stares that follow them when they walk together. Initially, he thought the behaviour was directed at him – judgement on his past deeds and the dark legacy that will hound him until he dies – except the general tone of the whispers is usually deferential. He knows from years of wandering that people are more likely to avert their eyes than risk his attention. However, it’s Sakura to whom they look; it’s she who holds the admiration of every inhabitant of the growing city.

What’s surprising about it, though, is how much he doesn’t mind. As a child, the idea of being second to anyone was unacceptable, especially in comparison to his teammates. Naruto because he was the village screw-up and Sakura because – back then – she was just support. An admirer to cheer on his successes and, in the early days of their team, to highlight just how much Naruto was beneath both their skill level.

It’s all different now.

Sakura is the one who stayed here, working hard to earn the respect and awe of the village. These days she walks confidently in the sun, while Sasuke is content to watch her from the shadows.

It’s actually ironic.

In three short years, a civilian-born girl with no bloodline talent to speak of has achieved more widespread respect than the Uchiha clan did in three generations. He wonders – especially today – what his parents would’ve made of Sakura. He likes to think they would have approved.

Father would’ve been terse and silent, but even he wouldn’t be able to deny her incredible talent. Mother would warm to her instantly, because her temperament was rather similar. And his brother…

Sasuke can’t help a rueful, bitter smile at this. Itachi would’ve probably figured out Sasuke’s feelings for her before Sasuke himself did.

He’s aware enough of his shortcomings these days that the admission comes easily. He understands that he’s cared for Sakura since their Academy days—lack of natural talent aside, she intrigued him, even if he didn’t show it. Humans are visual creatures, and her hair alone meant he couldn’t pretend she didn’t exist the way he could with other kids. On top of that, she was intelligent enough to beat him on every written test, though she never sought to compete with him.

This, too, is ironic. Perhaps if she had approached him as a potential rival, he would’ve seen her value earlier on.

Instead, his childhood memories of Sakura are of a pretty, shallow, yet kind girl trailing behind him. Even then, she had a remarkable tenacity and dedication, bringing him Valentine’s Day gifts every year and patiently enduring his constant rebuffs. Sasuke didn’t even realise until much later – until that last fight with Naruto – that with every passing year, another chunk of his heart fell into her waiting palm.

Knowing that should make all of this easier, but it doesn’t.

He’s had nightmares since the end of the war; dreams which take up the space in his head where revenge was once so prominent. Most often, they are of that day long ago when he almost snuffed out her life. Sometimes, Sasuke still feels the phantom heat of the electricity in his palms, can still see her back bared to him as he moves closer…

He knows now that if he’d landed that blow, he wouldn’t have survived the war.

As mad with grief and rage as he was, having Sakura’s blood on his hands would’ve shattered his already damaged psyche beyond repair. Losing his brother coupled with the truths about Itachi’s life had thrown him off the deep end; responsibility for Sakura’s death would have kept Sasuke there.

He doubts she realises this, even though they’ve spent more time together since his return—partaking in quiet dinners, long walks when her schedule allows for it, or the rare sparring match that leaves him bruised but proud. She doesn’t ask him why he’s around so often, or allude in any way how she feels for him.

If she still feels for him.

She as good as told him in her letters that she was tired of waiting. Likely, it’s too late for anything, regardless of his belated hopes. And yet despite this, Sasuke has been vacillating about the matter since he came back to Konoha.

Until today.

At least he hopes.

It’s become habit to pass by the clinic to pick Sakura up after work. She falls into step with him with more ease than she ever did when they were young.

Sometimes, they just meander through the town while she chats about her day. Sometimes, they find an out-of-the-way restaurant to get a bite to eat. Sometimes, he just walks her home.  

Today, though, he leads them along the river toward the lake. They’ve walked this way before, but he’s never led her down the embankment. She doesn’t ask where they’re going which he takes as encouragement.

The dock where he spent so much time alone as a child looks almost exactly as it did then. The wood is slightly warped, causing it to tilt downward toward the lake somewhat, but it’s still sturdy. There are burn marks on the edges from lessons long ago. He stares at them for a while, allowing memories to take him out of the present for a few moments. Beside him, Sakura is still as well, but it’s a comfortable quiet.

Now that they are older, she is more intuitive about his reticence.

As children, she would talk his ear off as if terminally afraid of a drawn-out silence, filling it by any means. While sometimes he appreciated this because it saved him the effort of having to maintain a conversation (especially when they were around other people), most of the time, he just wanted her to leave him to brood in peace.

These days, whether it’s because of her own experiences in the war or her work with those who have suffered its effects, she knows exactly when to just linger quietly. And, as usual, he appreciates her waiting for him to open the conversation.

It takes a little more effort today to find a way to start.

“This where I learned to perform Katon,” he tells her finally, his voice even despite the way his stomach spasms with nerves.

“Oh?” she inquires and, out of the corner of his eye, he sees her look up at him, surprise and curiosity passing across her features. He seldom, if ever, talks about the past; even more rarely does he speak of the time before they were genin.

Sasuke nods, staring out across the calm waters.

“My father taught me. It was the only thing he was able to show me before he…died.”  

Even so many years later, the pain is still as raw as it was the day of the massacre. The blinding rage is gone now, however. When he notices small, strong fingers tentatively wrap around his right hand and give a brief, reassuring squeeze, his instinct is to return the gesture instead of pulling away.

“The technique was created by the Uchiha clan,” he goes on, sticking to facts because this is what he knows for sure. Facts are unchangeable, not hinging on chance and sentiment. “My family honed it over the years and even though others have learned to master it, they could never achieve the exact effect that we could.”

He perceives her nod at this, but senses confusion at why he is bringing this up right now. She won’t ask, though, intuitively accepting that he has some purpose. Not for the first time does he think she trusts him far too much than he deserves – far more than he even trusts himself.

But today there is a purpose, and if he could just ignore the nagging doubts at the back of his mind, he might be able to get to it. This is supposed to be a certainty – the one sure thing in his entire life. Yet he can’t fight the same mounting apprehension he experiences when crossing into a dimension he’s never visited before.

“Would you like me to teach you?” he asks, inwardly cringing at how tentative he sounds despite his efforts to be casual.

Luckily, Sakura is too caught off-guard to notice. “You’ve never asked me that before.”

“I’ve never recognised the opportunity,” he admits. Too blinded by rage and revenge, it never occurred to him as a kid that the teammates he considered dead weight might improve faster if he helped them.

Sakura knows this too, and doesn’t argue the point. Instead, she says, “I’m not a fire type, though.”

“That shouldn’t stop the apprentice of Tsunade Senju.”

Sakura scoffs. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“Hm.”

“All right, pretty boy, you’ve got it,” Sakura declares, making a show of rolling up her sleeves and facing the lake. “Stand back and watch me! Shannaro!” She flexes her fingers, preparing to form the requisite hand seals, and then glances back, a ghost of doubt on her face. “Um…any pointers?”

Sasuke’s mouth twitches at this.

In the end, he gives her a demonstration and the same advice his father offered.  She masters the technique faster than he did. Not on the first try, like Itachi, but within hours. He puts that down to her excellent chakra control and the fact that, as a jōnin, learning to master new techniques quickly is a prerequisite. There’s a huge difference between her abilities and those of a seven-year-old with self-esteem issues.

Thanks to her instant healing abilities, there’s no obvious signs of damage – her cheeks aren’t burned and her lips aren’t chapped from the flame. But the tips of her hair are singed a little and her skin is rosy from the heat.

After expelling the last fireball, Sakura coughs, smoke wafting briefly from mouth and nostrils, but when it dissipates, her eyes are dancing.

“How’s that?” she challenges, hands on her hips and chin jutted out.

Sasuke smirks. “As expected.”

“Oh, come on. That was amazing and you know it – mine might even be better than yours!”

“Don’t push it.”

She laughs at that.

“I think I burnt my tongue; my taste buds aren’t going to work properly for a week!” Her face becomes inquisitive. “What’s the occasion, though? Or did you really just want to avoid another gourmet dinner at Ichiraku’s with Naruto?”

As Sasuke has come to expect from her, Sakura provides him with an out. He’s not entirely sure how long she’s been doing that or whether it’s intentional, but he appreciates it all the same.

Even if today, he will not make use of it.

“That’s an extra benefit,” he allows, earning an amused, somewhat conspiratorial grin. He pauses again, momentarily at loss of how to say what he needs to say. Eyes trained on the surface of the lake, he steels himself and continues.  “This technique…in my family, it’s a right of passage.”

He lets that sink in.

“Oh, yeah. I think you mentioned that once,” she says thoughtfully. “Or Kakashi-sensei said it. It’s like a coming-of-age tradition, right?”

“Hm,” he affirms and, trying to lace his words with meaning, confides, “It’s only passed on by close family members.”

“Right. That’s why your father taught you. It’s such a nice tradition.”

Sasuke winces inwardly because she clearly doesn’t understand what he’s trying to say. It’s not a failing on her part, either, but his own inability to properly articulate the point. The words are there, but for some reason, they die somewhere between throat and lips. Demons and malevolent gods he can take, but this five-foot-four woman with pink hair makes Sasuke nervous. And it’s not because she can crush his skull with her little finger, either.

“Until one can perform the jutsu properly, one cannot truly claim the name Uchiha,” he explains, hoping the inflexion of the words conveys his intended meaning.   

 But Sakura still doesn’t get it.

“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a child,” she says lightly. She’s probably imagining him struggling to learn the technique, terrified of failure.

She wouldn’t be wrong, either.

The knots in Sasuke’s stomach get worse and, if she doesn’t realise soon, he’ll have to spell it out for her. He’s half-angry about that because she’s supposed to be smarter. She should just know what he’s trying to say, and save him from making an utter fool of himself.

“Not just a child,” he corrects, again elaborately casual. “You performed it perfectly.”

Please…just…listen to what I’m trying to say.

Sakura’s breath catches in her throat.

The silence between them suddenly isn’t so companionable, but fraught with a tension like the entire world is holding it’s breath.

Sasuke doesn’t look directly at her as she parses his words, using that blinding intellect of hers to understand what he’s trying to ask, but he glimpses her face from the corner of his eye. This is how he watches her expression blossom with understanding.

Success.

He turns to her then. “I have no right to ask anything of you,” he says plainly. “Not after everything.”

“Sasuke –”

“Sakura, let me…” he trails off, jaw working and his own voice catching as the words get lost again, but damn it, he has to get this out! “I don’t know if I have the capacity to be what you want – what you’ve hoped for. Or if I can give you everything that you deserve. And it’s possible I’ve waited too long.” He swallows. “But when I think of family – even at my lowest point, where I’d given up on the idea – you were the only one I could ever see myself with, the one I…”

Again, words fail him, and Sasuke wants to yell in frustration. He needs her to know because maybe the faster he gets it out, the better the odds will be. Sakura deserves so much better – always has – and could have anyone else. She should have anyone else, but he’s still hoping against hope that she won’t want anyone else –

“Say it.”

Sasuke is rather jarringly brought out of his rambling, insecure thoughts by a cracking whisper.

Sakura stares up at him, tears welling in her eyes – why is it him who always makes her cry! He expected her to be flustered or awkward, but instead, she looks the same as she does when bracing for a physical blow.

This confuses him. “What?”

“I need you to say it,” she tells him, barely above a whisper. “Just once. Say it and mean it.” Her fists clench. “I’ll never ask to hear it again if that’s what you want, but before I can say yes – to the future, to trying, to…to all of it – you have to say it.” She takes a shuddering breath. “If you can’t, then I…I…”

She trails off as if the idea is too hard for her to even enunciate, too painful to consider – for either of them.

Sasuke has never been good with words.

What he feels for Sakura, he doesn’t want to – can’t, really – put into words. There is no collection of syllables or sounds that are accurate enough to describe the girl who gave him her heart when they were children. The woman who waited for him for years; forgave him for trying to kill her, their best friend, and their entire village.

He has wandered the world, looking for redemption and it’s only since returning here that he’s realised he had it the whole time.

He wants to tell her all of that, but he doesn’t think she’ll understand. Not now, not yet – not while they are still getting used to being around one another. Maybe after a lifetime, if she’ll give him that, it will come easier – his words and her ability to trust in him.

But for now, she wants something so simple, something almost infantile, as if a set phrase is a guarantee – a safety net or a reward of some kind. He knows this, but struggles to give it to her, because it’s just so insufficient. And everything about him to date, when it relates to her, has been insufficient.

If he does this wrong, she’ll turn away; it’s why she’s giving him this ultimatum in the first place. In their time apart, she’s developed into a strong, independent individual with unapologetic self-respect and unmalleable resolve.

She knows what his hopes are, the second of his ultimate goals. And even though he doesn’t deserve it, he won’t lie and say it isn’t one of his motivations. But Sakura won’t become the vehicle for his happiness unless she’s sure she’ll benefit from it as well. It’s only fair and Sasuke admires her all the more for it, but right now, it’s making him want to turn tail and run.

“Sakura…”

He really, really wishes he was better at this.

Just do it already, you ass.

And why isn’t it surprising that, in this moment where the rest of his life might change for better or worse, Sasuke can clearly hear the voice of his idiot best friend telling him what to do? It almost makes him want to check to make sure the fool isn’t lurking somewhere nearby.

Regardless of it’s source, the advice is right. No more good can come of waiting.

Sasuke bends down so that his forehead presses against Sakura’s, bringing them eye to eye. She tenses up and her pale cheeks flush with colour, her lips parting in surprise. If this position prevents Sakura from seeing the colour rising on his own face and neck or noticing that his hand is shaking as it gently takes hers, all the better.

“I don’t know what the future holds,” he says in a low voice, “but I want to spend it with you.”

Her lower lip trembles at this.

“Because…because you love me?” Sakura prompts, the question a whisper but with a mettle to it, a firm reminder that she will not let him off easy in this moment.

Sasuke exhales through his nose in defeat, eyes closed in affectionate resignation.

“Hm. Because I love you.”

When he opens his eyes, Sakura’s are (if possible) wider than he has ever seen. The utter shock etched into every other feature is simultaneously amusing and worrisome; he wonders dimly if against all odds, this is finally what breaks her.  

Putting some distance between their faces, he gently taps two fingers beneath the rhombus-shaped seal on her forehead – partially to make sure she’s still cognizant, but also to drive the message home. Sakura has never completely understood the gesture before in the handful of instances he’s demonstrated it, but now understanding flickers into place.

That this is not just today and not only because she asked him, but that he has wanted this for so much longer.

Glassy green eyes are now overflowing with tears, the droplets winding down the curves of her cheeks and quivering jaw. Mild panic sets in – why is she upset? Shouldn’t she be happy?

“Sakura, why are you cry – mmph!”

Fingers fist in his shirt and a pair of soft lips are planted very firmly against his own.

Sasuke stands frozen for several seconds. Dimly, he supposes he should’ve expected this, because isn’t this what’s meant to happen when two people acknowledge feelings for one another? Essentially, he just asked Sakura to spend the rest of her life with him, so it shouldn’t come as a shock that there would be a physical confirmation of this. Only, he didn’t quite expect it to happen so fast. Well, fast, he thinks, is relative. They have been building up to this since childhood, but he’s still not sure –

“You’re supposed to kiss me back,” Sakura mumbles against his mouth. If he wasn’t blushing before, the embarrassment hits fully now. Still, the permission takes at least some of his discomfiture away.

Slow and tentative, Sasuke returns the kiss.

It’s clumsy and uncertain because he’s never done this before, but she makes a small, approving noise at the back of her throat and he guesses he’s doing something right.

Sakura tastes like smoke from the Katon and something sweet he doesn’t have a name for. He suspects he could spend the rest of his life trying to figure it out without success, but that idea doesn’t bother him at all.

She fits her mouth over his, softly pulling his bottom lip between hers, and Sasuke’s senses fade out. Something like relief passes over him, as if a weight has been pulled from his very soul. The last, tightly coiled vestiges of doubt and anxiety that have gathered in him for years are now gone, and the only thing in the world is her.

That in itself is mildly terrifying, but in a good way.

Achingly slowly, Sakura pulls away from him, reaching up to brush his hair away from his left eye. Her fingers stay in place, keeping the strands from falling back while her thumb traces a gentle arc from eyebrow to temple.

He leans into the touch and she grins at him.

“Well?” she prompts. “What do you think?”

“…hm?” It should concern Sasuke that his brain takes a second or two to catch up.

“Better than Naruto, right?” she wants to know.

The post-kiss haze vanishes.  

Sasuke sputters out a wordless response because that’s not how these things are supposed to go. His people skills might be rusty, but he’s pretty sure it’s far from normal to remind the man who just confessed his feelings about his (very unwilling) first (and second) kiss with their mutual best friend.

Sakura is laughing – at him or at the situation, he doesn’t know. He should be annoyed about this – and if she ever tells anyone about this he will be – but the tears in her eyes are from mirth, not pain or sadness and, for once, he doesn’t regret putting them there.

“Yes, by the way,” she tells him happily, leaning into his chest. “Yes to all of it.”

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終わり

I hope you enjoyed the story! As part of the SasuSakuFestival, please go vote, like and/or reblog, it would be majorly appreciated!

クリ