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delusional-fantasising · 2 months ago

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I Do Love You P2 (Soldier Boy x GN reader)

Okay this originally wasn't supposed to have a part 2 so it's may seem a bit clunky. The first part was just supposed to be how I see Soldier Boy's healing process and how it should go if he were to get a new love interest since I don't believe he would be able to move on from his traumas. I wrote something that I'm not the most proud of but if I wrote it the way I do want and envision I would have to write a multi chapter fanfic. Something I don't got the motivation to do since I am writing a few at the same time for other fandoms.

Summary: Reader tells him 'I love you' weeks ago and after a therapy session he decides to make the first few steps to overcome his trauma

Warnings: Mentioning of trauma, PTSD, clunky writing, and a different view on Soldier Boy (More vulnerable and softer version)

Word Count: 1181

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“Benjamin, I want you to explain how you feel this way. Explain what happens.”

Soldier Boy was quiet as he tried thinking of all the feelings coursed through his brain when you told him ‘I love you’

His therapist was trying to help him find solutions to cope with his trauma of the betrayal that led to 40 years of torture. The supe was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling, a calculated stare that was emotionally distant. It’s been a month since the incident.

“I just feel… overwhelmed like when I’m going to have an episode. I- this is stupid,” He said as he got up and grabbed his coat, his therapist asked, “Do you love them too or is this a way of you avoiding your problems? If you do this you may distance yourself to try helping them but you will hurt them if you try pushing them away.”

Soldier Boy froze, his hand hovering above the door knob. Close enough to leaving but he remembered how much The Boys were making him go to therapy to cope with trauma in ‘healthy’ ways instead of just getting stoned all the time.

“Just after Crimson Countess, after her I don’t feel safe in a romantic space anymore…” He muttered, lowering his hand turning away from the door. Forcing himself to look in the eyes of the therapist. They questioned as they scribes notes about how Soldier Boy felt, “If you are so scared of loving or being loved why are you dating then? Do you think it’s a good idea leading someone on if you don’t love them?”

“No! It’s not that I don’t l-l0- you know the L-word. It’s just that what if they betray me like-”

“But they aren’t Crimson Countess though. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt, let them in. Talking about how you feel to loved ones helps many people,” His therapist spoke calmly, making him think of the possibility of opening up to you but he didn’t like being vulnerable not again. But he had to remind himself that you are your own person, you are nothing like Crimson Countess.

…

You were baking a surprise for Soldier Boy as a way to apologise for triggering him, you felt like you crossed one of his boundaries with the whole ‘I love you’ incident. Remembering how much he complains that the Apple Pecan pies today are too sweet and back in his day they tasted amazing, you did some research and found a recipe that was made around the time he was a teenager. The pie was almost down, you were squatting down in front of the oven watching through the window at the rising pie. The smell filling the air, making your stomach twist and growl. It was that strong urge to take the first slice made you feel guilty to want to indulge. Self control…

Soldier Boy entered the base not expecting the sweet smell of pie, freshly baked and he had stopped by a small flower shop to get a few of your favourite flowers while rehearsing a phrase over and over again in his head for you. His therapist told him that if he wants to show you how much he cares and likes you romantically he can’t be avoiding the 3 big words. He entered the kitchen and he froze when he saw you. You were sitting on your haunches staring at the pie slowly yet eventually rising like how he used to when he was younger before all the trauma. The immature unbridled joy in your eyes as you still haven’t notice him watching you till he let out a cough into his fist.

“OH!” You yelped as you spun around to face him, you start rambling and going on but he wasn’t paying attention he was in his own world. The world where he spent time just staring at every small feature like it was going to be the last time he will ever see you. His gaze unusually soft and he knew that this was no longer time to be stuck in the past but explore whatever the present and future throws at him because you were never anything like Countess.

“I just want to say what I said awhile back was going over a boundary and I am sorry. I understand if you hate me-”

“I don’t hate you though,” He stated abruptly as he knew what he had to do, he walked over. The sound of the plastic covering on the flowers crinkled as he tightened his grip. He never wanted you to hate him, ever since what happened to him he became more aware that if he gives a person a reason they will abandon him or stab him in the back.

Paranoia and the muscle tension going taut coming it’s to the peak till acceptance came over.

“Benjamin I just know that I want too far though and you probably felt rushed at the time. I understand what she did to you and I know that you are still struggling with that trauma,” You rambled, fidgeting with your fingers and your eyes dropping to your floor. He set the flowers onto the counter, grabbing your hands standing close to you. “It’s alright, I just want you to listen to what I need to say. Please…”

You went quiet to listen whatever he needed to say. The look of vulnerability peaking through, something rare that he has never done in awhile ever since an altercation with his son before the death of his only son.

“I know I can be an asshole. I know that I say shit that may hurt you or my actions hurt you but I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t mean to come off that way when you told me what you did… but I don’t hate you. It’s hard for me to love you but I do, I do love you but I need time. I need time to go slow,” Soldier Boy blurted out as his voice quivered when he admitted his feelings for once as if finally coming to terms. His eyes refusing to meet yours for the whole confession till the silence hung in the room for a painfully long time.

The silence was cut by the egg timer.

…

Soldier Boy is a man of his word…

Most of the time.

Billy and Hughie came back from a tiring mission, Hughie smelled pie and followed the scent. The kitchen was playing some old tunes from the 1940’s, he stands and pauses in the doorway wondering if he should just come back later.

Soldier Boy had his arm wrapped around your waist and his lips pressed against your forehead, slow dancing with you in the middle of the kitchen while the pie was cooling from being taken out of the over a few minutes ago. The soft swaying and him talking to you lovingly like how couples in old movies spoke to each other.

In love.

______________________________

@spnfamily-j2 @red22wolf

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ryuichirou · 4 months ago

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Replies

A lot of replies! A bunch about a Florid Prison Warden AU comic from yesterday, a couple about other fandoms, one about antis, a bunch of shippy stuff (Falena/Leona, Lilia/Silver), some spicy stuff etc.

Anonymous asked:

Prison Warden au is back!

Yes!! After almost a year... I am amazed that so many people remember this AU. Thank you...

Anonymous asked:

How long can Floyd possibly hide Riddle in his cell? Also, how did he knock him out to begin with?

Riddle is currently far away from the prison, he was knocked out pretty much for the entirety of Floyd’s escape and has no idea where he is. He is technically in a cell right now... but in a different kind of cell.

Knocking him out wasn’t that difficult, Floyd just went ahead and squeezed him very tightly~ Until Goldfishie fell asleep...

Anonymous asked:

So what will they do to Riddle now?

Anonymous asked:

So Riddle got kidnapped after Floyd escape? Now I wonder what happened.

Well, for now Riddle will stay at an undisclosed location in the middle of nowhere in some dark room, and Floyd will have to take care of him. How the turns have tabled, eh? Now Goldfishie is the one being locked up <3 These two will have a lot of fun during Riddle’s stay! And Riddle is going to end up being traumatised for sure...

But they probably won’t be able to keep him there forever, so who knows what will happen next?

Anonymous asked:

You have made Sukufushi art before??? Omg why was I not aware of this

Hehe yes!! It was ages ago, but I used to draw these two a lot. We didn’t post the majority of my jjk sketches though because we didn’t really post very often back then + didn’t think anyone really wanted to see them, which was kind of true lol

Anonymous asked:

I'm the one who asked about Bobobo. It's a very silly, nonsensical, random show. An evil empire is trying to make everyone bald and a man fights them with his armpit and nose hair. There's also a guy who fights with farts. It's been awhile since I watched it but I think there were a few serious, dark moments, though most of it's a lead up to a joke. I wondered if you and Katsu would like it cause the reason I watched Gintama was cause it reminded me of it and iirc you've Gintama

Oh god, so it’s this kind of show (in a good way)!

Dark and heavy moments that are a lead up to a joke is honestly one of my favourite ways to treat comedy+drama, this is why we love Gintama so much (and also Osomatsu-san and also South Park lol). Bobobo really does sound like it has this same vibe.

I don’t know if we’ll watch it anytime soon, but I’ll definitely keep it in mind. Thank you, Anon!

Anonymous asked:

Regarding the sneezing HCs, do you think Malleus will spit fire and roast everything in front of him when he sneezes? Bro has pretty bad control over his magic after all LMAO

YES. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD POINT AND I DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Hoo boy, just imagine Malleus feeling like he is about to sneeze and Lilia running from the other side of the dorm to grab his nose because he knows it never ends well.

Anonymous asked:

About the response talking about antis, yeah it's hard for me to look for fics and fanart because I'll often run into antis...

I feel like part of it might be that they don't look at who a game is for or what genre it is apart from RPG/visual novel/ect, I don't think they know what joseimuke is (and I'm a still lil confused on the target audience of those as well, but I think it's mainly women with a disposable income?) and they think the target audience's age = casts' age, so since the cast is teens, then it's for teens by their logic...even though shows like South Park exist and I ain't showing that to a young kid.

I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they genuinely think they're helping people/doing good things/ect since a lot of them aren't adults, but I can't. I just can't get that impression from them at all. The "nicest" I can be towards them is that they're young and dumb and will hopefully grow out of it or they need therapy but can't get it for some reason and this a kind of cry for help

Let’s be honest: if they weren’t dicks about it, no one would even care. We all understand that people don’t like some things, and all of us don’t like certain categories of people in our own fandoms, this is just a human experience. Minding your own business is what matters, and this is what they can’t do.

The majority of them are young and dumb, and a lot of them will grow out of it (or switch their aggression elsewhere because they’ll lost interest in fandom stuff) though. Some won’t, but there always are immature people that are much older... this is where they’re coming from lol

Maybe some of them really do believe that they’re doing the right thing and genuinely don’t know better, but I think for a lot of them finding a convincing enough reason to shit on others is the entire point of fandom experience. So even knowing what joseimuke is won’t stop them, only them losing interest and moving away from these spaces will.

All we can do is shrug and wait... and block people left and right lol

Anonymous asked:

What kind of hentais does Idia read or know of? Does he play eroges? If so what kind?

I think Idia knows every single hentai there is, even if he hadn’t read/watched/played all of them. Alright, maybe not every single one, but quite a lot lol But at the same time, he strikes me as someone who would be into it art-wise and would legit watch porn for the plot. So his favourite eroges are the ones with engaging stories and good character writing... I guess asking for that from a hentai game is a tall order, but Idia would argue and rant about some of his favourite titles if he was told “it’s just porn”. It’s not just porn, it’s an entire experience, the buildup that makes the porn good!

I know a part of me wants to say that he would play “oniichan” kinds of games, but I think he would ironically stay away from those... it feels weird to him somehow... too embarrassing.

He also doesn’t mind really fucked up tropes and scenarios. He could look at a tentacle hypnosis scene or a scene where someone is pushing out an alien egg and say “heh classic”. Truly, the greatest enjoyer of art.

Anonymous asked:

Hello! So I’ve been wondering of all the TWST tops, who’s winning the girth-and-length off?

Personally it could go either for Jack, Rook or Sebek. the Octatrio kind of cheats tho? their merform could pull these off easily.

anyway very curious to hear your thoughts!

Anon, this is such a good answer and I agree with you, even though I did write a post about peen sizes at some point, and I had a bit of a different top3 lol

To us, the winner is Lilia both because we are very committed to this joke + apparently for bats dick-to-body proportions are insane, so I guess there is some meat (heh) to this joke after all.

The second one was Floyd, and I still think the Tweels are one of the hugest, but... Jack and Sebek are absolutely up there, and I think they’ll grow bigger and girthier. They’ll become the biggest ones in a year or two.

I agree that Rook is big, but I think Trey is longer than Rook while still being quite girthy.

I am also 100% sure Yana has a list for this that we will never see...

Anonymous asked:

Firstly, I’m new to your blog and I LOVE YOUR ART AND HCS SO MUCH! They’re beautiful and amazing and it’s incredible seeing a blog being so unabashedly problematic with no shame!

That aside, I’m not sure if you ever talked about him before, but what do you think about Falena. Specifically for Falena/Leona?

I’ve seen some works (all super incredible, of course) of Faleleo stuff in Leona’s perspective, so I was wondering how do you think Falena would be like in the situation he’s loving his little brother a bit too much? We all know Leona’s gonna be a tsun about it but what about niisan?

Anon! First of all, welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay. Second of all, thank you so much for appreciating our stuff and being supportive of our self-indulgent selves! lol

We love Falena/Leona in theory; we haven’t dived into them because we haven’t seen much of Falena + don’t care much for Leona. Still, we are 100% supportive of this ship! Every time we rewatch The Lion King, I get more and more into Mufasa/Scar...

Regarding your question, it’s interesting because I think the default really is to think that it’s Leona who is obsessive over Falena, and Falena might not even have a clue about it (or have a clue but still choose to be a proper future king instead of fooling around with Leona). But it’s entirely possible for him to also be very into Leona, it could even be more fun this way.

I feel like Falena has always been an adoring brother and Leona greatly underestimates just how much Falena loves him. Not only he worries about his future and cares about him (that’s a given), he also is genuinely impressed by his wit and intelligence; I wouldn’t be surprised if Falena talks about Leona all the time lol Maybe he gets as excited as Cheka sometimes, which is endearing at first, but then feels like Falena is um... a bit too much into him...

Falena also feels like someone who would rationalise his feeling by thinking that him being a king and having a wife and a son is one thing, but being with Leona is another thing, their private special thing that could actually still improve things for the entire Kingdom: if Leona is by his side and works together with him, they will be unstoppable. This is something that Falena wants the most... even if it’s just a way to justify his desire to have access to Leona (and his body) all the time. He needs to give Leona some attention, right? He wasn’t able to do it lately, right? This has to change.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if they had a bunch of “iffy” moments when they were younger. A sudden closeness during sparring, a hug that lasted longer than anticipated, a bite that was meant to be playfully teasing but ended up being too sensual and dominating. That tension existed for a very long time, and it only gets stronger with time.

Anonymous asked:

God... I am enraptured by Them. Completely obsessed with those first days Lilia started playing with Silver. You think he went slow with touches and inappropriate kisses, or just one day told him they're doing something new and put his whole dick inside him at once??? Silver couldn't have gotten so good at handling anything without trial and error... Have there been times Lilia overestimated him and left him overwhelmed and SOBBING sobbing, like he had to stop immediately or his kid wouldn't be the same person again kind of overwhelmed. Ughhhh I'm obsessed with them and their awful history

Anon, I am so happy you like these two this much. I feel like this awful history is such an obvious but tasty and amazingly working trope for them, it just works.

I guess it’s fair to say that Lilia went slow with his inappropriate behaviour, I honestly think that Silver didn’t even notice the switch, as if it was never there. He’s always been his father’s cute boy. Of course it’s just the way he remembers things... But he does remember the first time he had Lilia’s whole dick inside him!

But also yes, of course there had been a bunch of times when Lilia got too excited and overdid it with Silver. Even though Lilia did try to pace himself, I think he completely broke Silver all over like 10 times; and sometimes he is amazed that he turned out okay with what he went through. But he got better very fast! A miracle of true love <3

#replies #prison warden au #lilisil

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eyes-of-rock · 20 days ago

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You know what fuck it. I didn't want to deal with the hate for this, but I feel it must be said. So, as some of my older followers might know, I used to be a big Mr. BIG and Billy Sheehan fan. If you haven't noticed, I have stopped talking about them. So here’s why. For one, Billy Sheehan is a Scientologist. He's like a firm believer to the point he argued with people about it. You can believe whatever you want, but when it's a fucked up cult, I draw the line. What's so funny about this is that the fandom doesn't discuss it. They act like it's not a thing or don't know. At first, I ignored it because he seemed like a good guy, and I could give the benefit of the doubt. Plus, everyone always talks about how nice he is to fans and whatnot. Well, I shouldn't have ignored that red flag. He messaged me and asked me to remove my profile photo on my fan account because it was of him. Now, keep in mind I would understand if I was pretending to be him or something, but it was VERY obvious it was not him. Like I have my name listed on the profile and my username is my username. Its got no connection to him aside from the pfp (at the time) and stuff I posted of him on the account as a fan. Like go look at my Instagram you'll see what I mean. Plus I know of other people who use his photos. Mind you these people have kissed his ass a lot. In fact he tagged one of them in a gift they gave him. So I don't know it just pissed me off, he came off as a cunt to me. Listen maybe I'm insane but if someone was big enough of a fan of me to use me as pdf i’d feel flattered. The whole thing pissed off and it felt like he was playing favourites to people who can afford to see him. Anyway that's my rant on this. I just didnt know if people would see my side of this so I kept my mouth shut but whatever I don't even care anymore.

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formula-fun · 24 days ago

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Fic Writer Interview (thank you @chandelier-s-notebook for the tag my dear!!)

I'll use a cut as well!

How many works do you have on ao3?

On this account, 6! In total its something like 50 I think!

What’s your total word count?

you will probably not believe this but it's 1,021,939. most of it is on different accounts or on anon. i promise you a lot of the early ones are....not really worth reading

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

fire + sound (you guys are freaks ily)

i'd sing you a morning golden and new

Of Shadow

remember me love, when i'm reborn

something for band of brothers from 10 years ago that's anonymous

Do you respond to comments? Why/ why not?

Yes, i try to respond to all of them! it means a lot to me when people take the time to comment, so i try to always take the time to give a response

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Definitely this one. I used to have a no sad endings policy and this is the first thing i've ever written that's broken that!

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

if i had words has a pretty happy ending! once the sequel is done it will have a VERY happy ending

Do you write crossovers?

Not in the sense of crossovers with two characters from two different fandoms. i love a good au though!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so. Occasionally I get comments that come off as a little rude, but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they didn't mean it like that

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hahahah do i ever!! and now i have friends who enable me so its only getting worse from here im afraid!!!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, i've floated ideas online and had them stolen before but i've never been plagiarized

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A couple of my older fics. It's one of the biggest compliments imo

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, I cowrote a crack fic a few years ago and i'm gonna be cowriting another soon! we're still in the brainstorm stage right now

What's your all-time favourite ship?

oof ok canonically i think stucky is kind of boring but some of the fics really went off

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

................we will have GTA6 before we get the pacrim au...............

What are your writing strengths?

Hmm probably setting descriptions? i get a lot of compliments for the capri scenes in if i had words. sometimes i write decent smut but i dont consider it to be reliably something im good at, it can be hit or miss

What are your writing weaknesses?

planning, outlining, anything like that. there are many cases of me writing 90% of a fic and then taking a million years to post the final chapter because i'm not quite sure how everything is tied together at the end. usually i write 20%, stop and make an outline and then write the rest, but the outline for the ending is always so vague that it just doesn't really work out and it takes way more brain power than it needs to. i am aware of this. unfortunately i will probably never change.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this is such a good question okok so it depends a little? say its charles' pov and theyre speaking french. i usually just put it in english but indicate theyre speaking french because the reader knows as much as the pov does. but if someones speaking dutch i usually just say "x said something in dutch" because he doesnt understand it so neither does the reader. sometimes i put the actual dutch if doing it the other way would break the flow of it, but i dont provide translations unless its something that charles would understand

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

band of brothers i think!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

actually i dont know if there are any!! maybe piarles? yukierre? honestly though i'm pretty happy where i am <3

What's your favourite fic you've written?

if i had words is my baby <33 i dont know if i have a favorite out of the two parts though. i love them both in different ways. i maybe have a slight preference for charles', though!

going to tag @talkingismylifewrites @wedriftlikelonelyplanets @mvpanda1 @samu-writes

#writing tag

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tagthescullion · 1 year ago

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Diplomacy: a Net of Embellished Lies

Fandom(s): Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus

Rating: G

Summary: Five times Nico lied to the people around him, and one time he told the truth.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

AO3 link

Chapter 5: The Doors

“He’s turned up in Camp Jupiter.”

Hades’ eyes lingered on his son’s troubled expression.

“Percy Jackson,” Nico clarified. “He’s been accepted into the legion.”

“How relieving,” he told the boy. “I’ll be able to sleep peacefully tonight knowing my sister has released my brother’s favourite bastard.”

Nico gave him a look that conveyed extraordinary amounts of contempt considering his age.

“Isn’t that good?” He asked. “You said Hera’s plan might work.”

“No, that’s not what I said,” Hades refuted. “What I did tell you was that it might work out for you and Hazel. If Hera managed to bring your two peoples together, that would give you a valid excuse to be seen around with your Roman sister.”

It gave him an uncomfortable shiver to think of the whole Greek/Roman division. But he’d rather fade into oblivion than let his son see him in such a weakened state.

“You don’t believe it could bring both camps together, then?” Nico wondered.

Hades hesitated for a moment. “I am not sure it is such a solid bet as my sister believes it to be. There’s many years of bad blood between both sides.”

“I know that,” Nico said. “But the stakes are high enough that they must see we have to work together!”

“Rationally, your differences could be put aside for the greater good,” Hades agreed. “My grandmother is a formidable enemy and so are her second batch of children, it’s unlikely you could beat them without cooperating.” He made himself more comfortable in his throne, he’d been on edge for months, with the disappearance of Thanatos, and the issue with the Doors. Yet he made an effort to make his son understand. He was an idealist, he needed things spoken clearly. “But you’ve lived part of a memorable mortal conflict in your childhood, haven’t you? Tell me, how well did people put their differences aside to beat a common enemy back then?”

“That’s not the same,” Nico argued. “Those were governments. This is just… a bunch of children.”

“Why, of course,” Hades nodded. “Teenagers have always been known to be more reasonable and level-tempered than adults.”

The boy exhaled, no doubt in an attempt to avoid rolling his eyes at Hades, which would have ended up with him grounded for a month, life-or-death conflict be damned.

“I only mean,” Nico began slowly. “That I think leaders of both camps are much less corrupt and selfish than governments tend to be. They would at least consider cooperating.”

“Let us hope so,” Hades said. “In any way, we should first wait for Hazel and her two companions to return from their quest before we start speculating.”

Nico looked uncomfortable. “They will return, won’t they?”

“Only the fates can tell,” Hades stated. “Thanatos must be returned to his position as my lieutenant. Spirits are growing uneasy without him.”

He was rather worried, if he was honest. As Hades, the fear he felt for his Roman daughter was slightly dampened, but he still wanted her to return unharmed. It irritated him to be unable to help, even if subtly, while she was in Alaska. Damned place, just off the extent of his powers.

And, of course, the issue with the Doors of Death was much worse than he wanted to admit. Spirits returning? His family would never let him hear the end of it.

He could almost hear it, ‘You have one job, brother, do try to do it properly’, they would be unbearable.

“How are you faring without him?” Nico asked. “It’s been quite a while.”

His tone was concerned, which Hades both appreciated and found ironic, since the boy had benefited from the situation when it suited him, but Nico needn’t worry about such things. Or perhaps he should, if he could use the information to put pressure on either camp.

“The Furies can keep things in order here, for the time being,” he replied. “The problem is that the other side of the Doors is in Tartarus.”

Nico paled. “I see…”

“Yes, it’s not ideal.”

“And, hypothetically,” Nico commented. Hades frowned, he never liked his son’s hypothetical questions. “How would one be able to close them, then?”

“You defeat Gaea,” he explained. “Either you blackmail her or bribe her into closing them herself —rather unlikely, as you can imagine—, or you send a couple of expendable creatures to close them from Tartarus.”

“Demigods, for example?”

“No,” Hades dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand. “Demigods could never make it, your kind is not prepared for the abyss, your mind would shut off.”

Nico frowned. “You once told me demigods were ideal for all this crap because we were part of both worlds.”

“You have an incredible ability to distort my words into whatever is convenient for you, did you know?” Hades was losing his patience. “I told you that demigods were my family’s ideal tool to annoy me by sending them here —to the civilised bit of the Underworld— bearing demands. Not to dive into Tartarus in a suicide mission for their souls to be lost forever.”

“The soul would be lost?” That seemed to concern his son more than the rest.

“Of course,” Hades confirmed. “Thanatos —assuming he ever returns to his post— wouldn’t venture that far to pick up a wayward foolish spirit. Besides, who would be idiotic enough to—” Then it clicked. “Absolutely not.”

“What? I didn’t say anyth—”

“You’re not about to throw yourself into Tartarus,” Hades ordered. “That’s the most ridiculous plan you’ve come up with so far, and the Fates know you’ve had plenty of wacky ideas.”

“Now who’s understanding whatever they want?” Nico snapped. “I didn’t imply that I’d go to Tartarus, it was all theoretical.”

Hades stared at him firmly. “You want to close the Doors.”

“That would be useful,” he confessed with a self-conscious shrug. “But I didn’t know they were in Tartarus.”

“And now that you do know,” Hades insisted. “You won’t go near that cave, will you?”

Nico stayed silent.

“Answer me,” Hades demanded. “Promise me you won’t be reckless enough to go near that bloody cave.”

His son looked at him defiantly. But staring contests were Hades’ speciality. Even his spoiled youngest brother couldn’t beat him.

Reluctantly —very, very reluctantly—, Nico nodded. “All right. I won’t.”

#hades pjo #nico di angelo #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #pjo hoo toa #riordanverse #pjo fic #mis fics #tagthescullion #embellished lies

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crusherthedoctor · 2 years ago

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I’m genuinely curious, what do you WANT sonic to do about Eggman? Because there are genuine reasons the comics can’t kill him off.

1. While sonic has a large adult fandom, it still has a large LARGE demographic of children in the fandom, and I can’t imagine sega would want their mascot to kill for that reason.

2. Eggman dying would be a massive status quo shaker that a long running comic series can’t really do, unless they know how many issues they have left. Sure they can always make new villains but let’s be real, a lot of the sonic villains that aren’t Eggman aren’t well liked. There’s Chaos and Starline as examples of villains that are popular, but there will always be people who would want Eggman back. That’s the same reason why Mario can’t kill Bowser, Batman can’t kill The Joker and Superman can’t kill Lex Luthor (though tbf there is also a canon Superman story showing why he can’t kill period).

3. This one is definitely subjective but I think the comics playing with the idea of the consequences of Sonic’s choices is more interesting then just killing Eggman off. I like that even characters like Shadow and Espio question him. His principles are as much a flaw as they are a strength arguably, which I think is a unique way for the comics to handle their status quo loop. I genuinely believe the comics are building up to a story analyzing Sonic’s flaws, we just need to give it time.

I never said they should kill off Eggman. That wouldn't make sense for a fan whose favourite character is Eggman. Where did you get that idea?

The problem isn't that Eggman is still alive, or that Sonic hasn't dealt with him permanently in some other way. The problem is that IDW tried to be clever by raising a question that didn't need to be raised. "How does Eggman always get away?" Cause he's good at getting away. That was all you needed. But IDW had to get all philosophical about it, and not only did it end up falling flat on its face by raising more questions in the process, but now the fandom can't stop going on moral debates about Sonic and Eggman's characters.

And "give it time"? Is this the new "wait and see"? Because that worked so well for Imposter Syndrome, the zombot arc, and everything else that came before. I'm afraid I'm not willing to give IDW the benefit of the doubt after five straight years of incompetent writing.

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #Dr. Eggman #Anti-IDW Sonic

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churchofthegreytrousers · 6 months ago

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I don't think Tony's getting the brunt of it, most people treat him like human sunshine and would never criticise him. Ive only seen your asks and one other comment that you could call criticism of him. In fact max has had more criticism and hate than Tony ever has. Most fans would blame Max for a falling out before they even thought about it being mutual or someone else's fault lol.

But you're right all we know is that Max spoke about Tony woth high praise, and Tony is less active on social media (but does interact with Max only rarely). Maybe it just looks like they don't talk but we only see social.

Ben (and by extension Max) absolutely has been kind of a fandom punching bag almost since the beginning, and I never really understood it. While Callum is definitely a lot of people's favourite kicked puppy, even when he was the one in the wrong, and I think that rubbed off on Tony. There's also the fact that Tony is rarely online (at least on IG. I'm not sure about Twitter) and seems to keep to himself, thus he's less likely to piss people off. That's not to say he isn't genuinely a nice guy, because I don't know that. None of us do. We can only go by what we see.

And as we don't know the ins and outs of their friendship, I think it's best to give them both the benefit of the doubt.

#anon ask #asked and answered

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13eyond13 · 2 years ago

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☕ i'd like more about the wammy's boys backstories, L included. i'm quite new to the fandom but it feels like both the manga and the show are so plot-driven that there was almost no attention re: how characters came to be the way they are, and it would be so interesting given that the environment they grew up in must not have been healthy at all

also 📂 for near!

Hello and welcome to the fandom, I'm glad it's still being discovered by new fans all the time! 😁

☕ I agree with you about wanting more concrete info about the Wammy's crew, with the exception being maybe about L? It's funny, because L is normally the character who gets the most extra info given about him by the creators in the behind the scenes and the one-shots and things (maybe because he is a big fan favourite, and also the character that has the biggest sense of mystery surrounding him). And as much as I also love L (he's my all-time fave character!), I think a lot of the enduring charm of his character and the point of his character in the story is sort of to be left an ambiguous entity that is seemingly impossible to fully get to know or to completely pin down and explain without a doubt. We are often seeing L from the POV of other characters like Light and the task force and his successors who are asking unanswered questions about him, and I think we are meant to be left wondering about him just as much as all of them are. And any time the creators give definitive answers about him and his life outside of canon, I don't find it actually really adds a whole lot of flavour to his character that wasn't already present in the story? But I think his successors would definitely have benefitted from being given a little more backstory and time to introduce themselves to the audience before they were thrown headlong into the Kira case plot, maybe. Though it's also possible that the lack of backstory info given in this series is part of why the fandom has been so lively for so long. Because that gives people a lot of room to invent and to discuss and debate their headcanons and interpretations of the characters, too.

📂 Near likes to interpret dreams, and sometimes other kids at Wammy's would ask him to interpret theirs.

send me a ☕️ and an opinion (popular or unpopular) and i’ll say whether i agree or disagree

Send “📂“ for a random yet completely useless headcanon I have

#l lawliet #near #mello #ask #anon #p

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adam-sadmon · 3 years ago

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Aight so this may be me self-assassinating this account but I'mma say it anyway:

Shuake/Jokechi has ruined the P5 fandom on tumblr for me

I'm lucky that my favourite 'villain' of all time (take a wild guess who that is) fortunately has a fandom just as devout, and honestly when I come on tumblr for P5 content it's solely for Maruki, not because I don't love every fucking thing else about P5, it's my favourite game of all time and has been there to help in so many times of crisis throughout my life, but the P5 'fandom' on Tumblr outside of Maruki is just Shuake/Jokechi.

And why do I even hate Shuake/Jokechi?

It (wrongly) simplifies a great character, Akechi, and reduces him to any other palatable yaoi tsundere, and it hasn't gone unnoticed that the vast majority of Shuake/Jokechi shippers are cis women who fetishise gay relationships. Seriously, Akechi is such an interesting character because he DOESN'T love Joker, they have a complex relationship not because they're the 1,000,000th 'hates each other but secretly wants to bone' yaoi ship but because Akechi is the one young adult spurned by society that the Thieves just couldn't help, who's fascinating because instead of succumbing to the power of friendship he's a dark reflection of the Thieves' rebellious hearts, so much so that he decides to take down Maruki because he REFUSES to live in a world where he's not the master of his own fate.

Their shipping actively ruins other characters by default. I've seen so many people be like "I wonder if Haru and Futaba only bite their tongue around their parents' murderer because their friendship with Joker and how much they know he loves Akechi'. Like yeah fuck them just being nuanced characters with their own trauma and ways of manifesting and working through it while holding to their own ideals and morals regardless of how hard it is, they're not the hunky twinks, fuck em.

It's pure delusion, like it's not even like that one single frame in the Colours Flying High opening is responsible for the ship, its been a festering weed in the fandom since the game came out. There is NOTHING in the game (though how many Shuake/Jokechi shippers have actually played the game is another question) that implies that Joker and Akechi are in love, and I wouldn't even mind so much if this one delusional fantasy wasn't the entirety of the P5 fandom on tumblr.

And really, I do genuinely wonder how many people have played the game and still ship them, I don't know if that'd make it better or worse, cause I've known people to spend their time shipping characters from franchises they have literally no investment in and know nothing about outside of the surface layer, and that surface layer, at least as portrayed by the Shuake/Jokechi ship is: beautiful, pale tsundere twinks. My friend put it best, in that for the sheer amount of cis-man on cis-man ships that are big on this site, I haven't seen one that's between 2 black men. Like yeah, in canon Joker and Akechi are Japanese, but I'm not gonna pretend to be generous enough to give the benefit of the doubt that that's how shippers see them.

And before anyone asks 'it's just a harmless ship that makes people happy, what's the harm? ', I mean, yeah, no ship that I've yet encountered as run up in my house and stabbed me yet (yet) but it undeniably has hurt mine and a lot of people's engagement in one of our favourite pieces of media of all time.

P5 is a story about found families, about shirking societal expectations and not being forced to find a place for yourself in THEIR world but being content in your own, it touches on government corruption, misogyny, rape culture, the fucked up education system, the very ideas of what happiness is and if it is what we as humans truly seek, and it's all been boiled down to two of the (and lets be real) least interesting characters in the story hating each other but secretly wanting to fuck.

P. S. No its not just because I'm Ace

#Persona 5 #P5 #Persona 5 spoilers #P5 spoilers #Persona 5 Royal #P5R #Persona 5 Royal spoilers #P5R spoilers #Joker #Persona Joker #Akechi #Akechi Goro

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years ago

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As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.

#anon #woops #I probably shouldn't have written this much here but what can I say #I've got beef with these storylines #and I unfortunately can't bbq it (?)#so instead I ramble and ramble and hope you guys forgive me for how long-winded I can be :'D

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archived-kin · 4 years ago

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arcade date with levi (with a twist)

note from kin: the twist is that, rather than just meeting up and going to an arcade for a date, you and levi are actually characters from two different games in the arcade that come to life at night and go on cute romantic hijinks together! (wreck-it-ralph au essentially)

you, simeon, and luke are from a battle game, levi and his brothers are from a side scrolling platformer, solomon is the tutorial dude in an experimental alchemy game, diavolo is the owner of the arcade, and barbatos is the janitor! your character’s costume is basically the same as caesar’s from jojo’s bizarre adventure, and you’re kind of the pseudo-leader of your game’s characters

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, leviathan, luke, simeon, lucifer, solomon

pairing(s): levi/reader

warning(s): guns, non-descriptive injury

genre: fluff

“Lights out!”

You cheer and hop out of your character selection box, stretching out your cramped limbs, then sitting down with a huff. Beside you, Simeon falls out onto the floor in a tangled heap of cape.

“Thank goodness,” He sighs, turning around and lying flat on his back. “Is it just me, or were our patrons picking me far more than usual today…?”

Luke carefully slides out of his own box, landing neatly on his feet with a little flourish. “Yeah, normally [Name]’s the crowd favourite…”

“It’s all those new promotional posters, I bet,” You hum, pulling off your headband and fanning yourself with one hand. “Seems like Diavolo’s really been pushing the angel series lately.”

“I wouldn’t call it a series,” Simeon says, chuckling slightly as he undoes his fancy cape. “There’s only two of us, after all.”

“Well, you’re the only ones out of us who actually have a theme between them,” says another one of your fellow fighters, taking off his hat and twirling it around a finger. “Anyway - [Name], shouldn’t you be going off to meet that loverboy of yours soon?”

“Oh, right!” You jump to your feet, dusting off your pants. Then you pause, raising your hands to pat at your face. “Wait, do my triangles look okay?”

“Your triangles look fine,” Simeon sighs, reaching over and tapping fondly at the little patches of paint on your cheek. “They always do.”

“Alright!” You adjust your scarf and throw the ends over your shoulder, tying your headband around your wrist. “I’ll be off, then! You guys know the drill, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, boss,” calls one of the younger fighters, hunched over in front of his box and scratching restlessly at the tip of his nose. “Not like we haven’t been doing it every day.”

“Don’t get cheeky,” You scold, but give his pompadour an affectionate pat on your way past anyway. It feels almost concerningly solid beneath your touch. “I’ll be back before morning!”

Your fellow fighters give a collective murmur of assent that’s abruptly cut off as you open the network door and hop into a wire. You’ve gone on this path so many times that it’s practically muscle memory at this point - six sections ahead, then to the left twice, a right at the purple junction, and then another four sections forwards.

The Tale of the Seven Lords’s network door is already open when you jump out of the wire, and the first thing you see when you poke your head in is Lucifer polishing one of the transport tubes used to get between levels. He’s discarded the fancy coat that he has to wear all the time as part of his character costume, and you don’t blame him - you couldn’t imagine even just running for five minutes or so with that one, let alone jumping about and punching at things for about fifteen minutes at a time, often longer.

“Lovely evening, Lucifer,” You greet brightly. He pauses in his work for a moment, then turns to look at you.

You’ve never gotten the feeling that he particularly likes you, but you’ve been trying your best to stay on his good side - after all, one must need the eldest’s blessing to date one of their younger brother. And your efforts must have paid off, too, because the corner of his mouth actually lifts slightly when he sees you grinning at him around the side of the door.

“[Name],” He says with a nod. “Levi’s up on Level Six.”

“Right!” You skip inside and shut the door behind you. “Good day?”

“About as good as it can get, I suppose,” He sighs, and you silently cheer. Willing small talk - that’s progress! “Most of our players for today picked either Belphie or Satan, so I got to take a break of sorts.”

You’ll never understand why some of characters in this arcade dislike actually being played so much - after all, isn’t that your entire purpose? Still, if Lucifer’s happy about not being picked, you’ll be happy for him as well. “That’s good!”

“Indeed,” He says, allowing a rare proper smile. He pulls back from the transport tube. “Up you go, then. Levi’s been restless all day - excited, no doubt.”

“He’s so cute,” You coo, adjusting your headband around your wrist to make sure it doesn’t slip off. “We go on dates all the time, but he’s still just as enthusiastic every time.”

“As Asmo likes to say, I suppose that each date should be just as exciting as the first,” Lucifer says evenly as you hop up into the transport tube, taking care not to get the freshly-polished metal grubby. “At any rate… Levi seems to be happy. So I suppose you must be doing something right.”

“What a wonder, right?” You reply with a laugh, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up. “I’ll have him back before first light. Promise.”

“If you say so,” He says dryly, and stands back as the transport tube sends you up.

Just as Lucifer said, Levi is bustling about on Level Six, accompanied by Belphie, who’s having a whale of a time snoozing on one of the platforms and letting his brother do all the work restocking the power-up bricks. Levi abruptly straightens up as soon as you pop out of the transport tube, as if he can sense your presence immediately, and turns to see you waving happily up at him.

His face immediately lights up, and he hops down from the brick he’s standing on with a goofy jump sound effect, landing beside you with a slightly wobbly grin. Slightly out of breath, he greets, “Hi.”

“Hi,” You repeat back to him, kissing his cheek. From up on his platform, Belphie makes an exaggerated retching noise.

Levi absent-mindedly chucks an inactive supersize star behind him at the sound, and it hits Belphie directly in the forehead with a high-pitched ping, sending him toppling backwards off the platform. Luckily, fall damage isn’t programmed into this game, so he lands on his back with nothing but his pride hurt.

“Ready to go?” You ask, disregarding the rather thunderous-looking brother behind your partner. Levi nods eagerly.

“Yeah! Belphie can take the rest of my bricks. He’s barely done anything so far.”

“It’s not my fault so many people picked me today,” Belphie groans, getting up and catching the rest of the power-ups that Levi tosses his way. “I’m tired…”

“You’re always tired,” Levi replies, shaking his head. “Get Beel to do it if you’re so desperate to sleep.”

“Maybe I will,” is Belphie’s final retort before you and Levi disappear back down the transport tube.

Passing Lucifer at Level One again, the two of you slip out through the network door and hop into the wires. Your destination today is the Suspect Sorceror’s abode - one of your regular date spots, and one of your particular favourites.

Despite the fact that the two of you see each other pretty much every day as soon as it’s lights out, there’s always a fresh kind of thrill to the prospect of spending time with Levi, no matter how much you do. It’s kind of like your heart grows wings every time you’re around him - you can’t help but feel all light and fluttery inside.

You’ve never felt this way about anyone - heck, you didn’t even know it was possible for you to feel like this! Every character in this arcade is programmed with a set personality that’s simply impossible to break away from. In some cases, some characters are reduced to such one-dimensional traits that they can only ever respond to anything with one of a predictable and very limited number of possible reactions.

Incidentally, your code has established you as a rather boisterous and confident person who doesn’t always think before they punch, while Levi’s has always dictated him as rather self-conscious and insecure, but passionate about his interests. Neither of you have ever been programmed with anything close to the sort of AI that would be required for you to develop your own feelings separate of your codes - and yet, somehow, you have.

You’ve never pretended to understand your own existence. You’ve not very smart, after all; where your programmers gave you excellent fighting spirit and leadership skills and an unwavering sense of determined justice, they seem to have forgotten to give you very many brain cells. Even so, you’re fully aware of the impossibility of the nature of yours and Levi’s relationship.

Still, your philosophy has always been that worrying about the little things never benefits anyone in the long run. Well, this might not be a little thing, but if there’s anything you’re good at, it’s goofing off to avoid getting too dismal.

You hop out of the wire as soon you’ve reach your destination, landing neatly on your feet with your arms spread wide in a rather flamboyant flourish. Levi scrambles to follow suit, but loses his balance on his way out and immediately starts heading directly for the floor; you quickly dart forward and catch him by the arms.

Levi’s panicked eyes dart up to meet your own, and before you’re even fully aware of what you’re doing, you deftly lift him into the air and give him a smooth twirl, then set him on solid ground once more. His knees immediately nearly give out beneath him, and you have to reach forward to catch him again before he takes a tumble.

“Wh-wh-wh—” Levi’s entire face is a bright, burning red. You’re pretty sure you can actually see smoke coming out of his ears. “You— huh?”

It’s just about the cutest thing you’ve ever seen; you can’t help but lean forward to plant a kiss on the very tip of his nose. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to have been the right move, because Levi immediately goes stock still, then abruptly slaps his hands to his face.

“You alright?” You ask, crouching down with him as he slowly sinks down to the ground, practically steaming. You can’t help but laugh, feeling a little bad for flustering him so much. “Caught you off-guard, huh? Sorry.”

Levi shakes his head silently, then finally pulls his hands away from his face. His blush has calmed somewhat - it had been so aggressive that it almost looked like a rash before, but now it’s more of a sort of reddish dust - and he’s looking you in the eyes again.

“Y-y-you can’t just do stuff like that out of nowhere,” He says finally, leaning forward and dropping his forehead on your shoulder. “I have to prepare myself first…”

“Aw, that’s no fun,” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and rock him back and forth slightly. “You'll get used to it eventually!”

“You’re going to give me a heart attack,” He mumbles into the sleeve of your jacket, though you do notice that he’s deliberately pressing himself closer to you. “Well, you would if I had a heart.”

“You’re so cute,” You chuckle, pressing another kiss to the crown of his head. “C’mon, we’ve still got a date to finish!”

You give Levi another five minutes or so to get his face back to its usual colour and calm himself down, and he’s pretty much back to normal by the time the two of you step hand-in-hand into Solomon’s little alchemy hut - you with a wide grin on your face and him with a slightly shaky smile. Unfortunately, it seems that date night isn’t going to be going smoothly today, because Solomon is currently being held at gun-point by a character you’ve never seen before.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” crows the strange little man, brandishing one of his two revolvers in yours and Levi’s direction. You instinctively step in front of your partner, steeling your fists in case you need to fight. “Two lovebirds, is it?”

“Evening,” Solomon greets, not looking in the least bit fazed by the barrel he’s currently staring down.

“Who's this?” You ask in reply.

Solomon sighs and leans forward on his counter, ignoring the threatening click of the gun that the little man has pointed at him. “He’s from that shoot-em-up game a couple consoles down. No idea why he’s decided to show up here.”

You wrinkle your nose, reaching behind you to give Levi a reassuring tap on the arm before stepping forward. The little man watches you cautiously, keeping one gun carefully trained directly on your head.

“Your bullets aren’t going to work on me,” You say matter-of-factly. “I haven’t been programmed to take damage when a bullet hits me.”

“Won’t work on you, eh?” He raises an eyebrow. “How about your beau over there?”

You narrow your eyes. “He isn’t any of your business.”

Of course, you know full well that Levi’s game features projectiles that he certainly takes damage from, and while you don’t know if that extends to bullets from this man’s guns, you don’t want to risk it. You, on the other hand, have only ever taken damage from the punches and kicks your fellow fighters throw at you - or the beams of light Simeon and Luke shoot for their respective ultimates.

The man grins, and you note that he’s missing one of his front teeth. “So you won’t mind if I just fire a little bit at him—”

Your arm shoots forward before you even fully register it, and the man careens backwards with a cry as your fist lands directly in his face. The gun he’d been raising to point at Levi clatters to the floor and lets out a shot into one of the walls; Solomon winces.

“You’re a real piece of work, aren’t you?” You scowl, striding forward and planting a foot on the little man’s stomach. He struggles under your boot’s heel, cursing. “First you spoil our date, and now you’re threatening my partner. You’re really starting to piss me off.”

“If you’re going to start a fight, take it outside,” Solomon intervenes, shaking his head. “I’ve got far too many glass bottles in here to risk letting you have a battle in here.”

“Doesn’t matter where I fight as long as I get a good punch in,” You smirk, folding your arms across your chest slightly and glaring down at the man as he scrabbles at your boot, attempting to wrench it off of him. “So, what’ll it be? Either you get your guns and scram, or we can brawl right here and now.”

The man responds by reaching to grab the gun he’d been aiming at Solomon earlier and firing a shot at your face. You jerk back in surprise, foot lifting, and he immediately scrambles out from beneath your foot, pointing up at you with a gleeful laugh.

“See how you like that!” He exclaims. “Not so cocky now, huh?”

You slowly reach up to press your fingers to where the bullet struck you, directly in the forehead. Solomon raises an eyebrow, while Levi calls out your name frantically, stepping forward with his hands outstretched.

You shake your head as the man laughs, holding up a hand to stop Levi. “Stay there. I’ve got this under control.”

“Huh?” The man’s grin fades as you pass your hand over the hole, only for it to be gone when your hand moves away. “What the—?”

“Didn’t I tell you?” You ask, looming over him as he frantically attempts to back away. He gulps, fumbling with his gun, but before he can try to fire another round, you knock the gun out of his hand with a swift punch. “Your bullets don’t work on me, pal.”

He turns as if to run, but your leg immediately darts out to trip him, and he tumbles forward onto the boards of Solomon’s hut with a muffled yell. This time you plant your foot directly on his neck, setting a single hand on your hip.

“I’m only going to say this once,” You begin, staring him dead in the eyes. “So listen up - got it?”

The man attempts to protest, but your heel only presses harder into his throat, and he has no choice but to give his gurgled assent. You smile, but it’s a menacing expression.

“This game is under my protection,” You say firmly. “You don’t come in here and start threatening to shoot up the place - and you most definitely don’t point the gun at my partner. Got it?”

He gurgles again. You nod in satisfaction. “Then we’re all in understanding here. Now scram.”

You lift your foot, and he immediately fumbles to get to his feet. You stay on your toes, prepared for him to attempt to go for his guns again, but he only gives you one last terrified look before turning and booking it out the door, tail between his legs.

You stare after him at the swinging door. The hut is silent for a moment more.

Finally, Levi says, eyes wide, “I think that was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.”

#unedited #obey me imagines #obey me x reader #swd leviathan #swd solomon #swd lucifer #swd simeon #swd belphie #swd luke #leviathan x reader #levi x reader #wreck it ralph au #fluff #arcade #not sure how i feel about this one??? but eh

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pfreadsandwrites · 4 years ago

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Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED

Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.

No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!

Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)

Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.

If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.

When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.

Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.

plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?

Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?

Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)

Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.

But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?

But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.

Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.

The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.

Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.

Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.

Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.

So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).

To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.

When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.

But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)

Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.

But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush.. LMAO there’s a thought)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.

That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.

He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.

He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.

Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:

Spanking ;)

Teasing

Face-fucking

Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)

clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)

semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),

body worship (is that a kink)

LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me

he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.

But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.

WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.

I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.

He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.

I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.

He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.

Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be

Long version (I’m sorry guys):

By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.

He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.

But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.

…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.

With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want.

He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.

So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8

Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.

But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.

I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.

The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too

If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.

He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.

He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.

So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you. But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.

Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.

Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less. But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.

As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.

#kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi headcanons #kakashi smut #naruto #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #kakashi hatake #kakashi imagines #pfthinks #pfsins

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spacetwiga · 4 years ago

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leave c!phil out of bullshit 2k21 -- a not so tiny post by a new enthusiast

As someone who finds both common fanon and actual canon to be quite fun, I really think the general DSMP fandom would benefit greatly from a few things in general: the greatest, in my opinion, is learning to accept that popular fanon won’t usually be the canon you receive. Another, of course, is that POVs are golden, but with these two things being flimsy in being accepted, they are the major flaws that cause about 90% of the absolute messy takes that gain traction, oftentimes poisoning a canon character's ability to exist in the story.

My biggest beef regarding this comes from how y’all treat c!Phil, so here I am, being annoying on main side!

TL;DR... Just because someone acted like like a guidance to others, doesn’t always mean that they'll want to be the father figure role for everyone that breathes. Similarly, pinning down a character on a single trope is wack, so don't be surprised if they grow away from it.

Baby’s first little dsmp rambling below!

(Warning: it's long as hell)

The Dream SMP plotline is not written out like most popular media. With so many moving parts in the form of daily streams and the wonderful tool of live improvisation, it makes perfect sense that such a giant cast would not always be on the same page. Adding onto that, it also makes more sense that a vast majority of the cast will be placed into supporting roles, as the story needs to have characters that serve as narrative anchors and others that function as the links in a chain, all weathering the storm that is the plot.

Screentime, of course, plays a major factor into canon exposure -- in terms of the Dream SMP, POV matters equally, if not more, too.

It’s a pretty neat way of showing things, but in the end, the fanbase has a lovely (read: godawful /lh) way of analysing characters, particularly when it relates to how they interact with others from their fave character’s POV. The tendency to analyse things from a single character's POV is fine, but not when attempting to critique the greater whole of a conflict. Both sides, no matter how wrong they may seem to be, matter.

Adding onto the fact that everything is live, there are things that will spiral out of control, casual words being skewed and thus having the potential of a single line seemingly contradicting the entire ‘story’ that the fanbase has made. If it directly affects a fave's POV in particular, one is more likely to take offense, as bias immediately bars one from trying to see the other person's side of things.

POV is important.

Which brings me to c!Phil, and how critics tend to ignore his perspective to prop up another character, or justify the tearing down of another.

Improvisation is both a blessing and a curse; the fanbase, however, loves to test out the latter. With it, the fanbase starts crafting tales to justify it...And so begins the mess that is c!Phil discourse.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is not supposed to be your fave’s fluffy father figure... unless you’re c!Wilbur!!!

😃☝🏾Dadza is good...👉🏾😎👉🏾 But fandom wants the excessive, idealized version.

-- birb 2k21

Family dynamics are generally loved for their potential for comfort, particularly those of a found family nature. Fandom in general tends to lean into them wholeheartedly, with most major bases having at least one prominent group present; SBI, of course, is no different. From fanart to popular fanfiction, it's arguably the biggest group dynamic alongside the Dream Team, and for that, a precedence was set.

c!Phil, if he ever joined, would fix everything! All of the ‘kids’ would turn to their new mentor and everything would turn out fine! This all knowing, morally just character will chuckle at their antics and wacky hijinks will follow! Fun times, right? /s

The hope for it, however, has long since been shattered, and frankly, good for him!

To go a little ooc, cc!Phil has stated multiple times that, while he was friendly with a lot of the cast as c!Phil, his only paternal link (at least biologically) lies with c!Wilbur. Simple, right? It should be -- there are multiple clips of him saying this -- but fans choose to ignore it in their critiques, generally citing favouritism or downright neglect for the character’s flaws. From 'favoring' Techno (who, in canon, holds the highest link in friendship outside of c!Wilbur's familal link) to 'neglecting' to visit Tommy (who he barely knew, and also assumed, like many others, that he was fine), these critiques weigh heavily on the scale that judges Phil’s so called father figure trope.

The story, however, has only leaned into (and persisted with) that for c!Wilbur alone, and adding onto it, there is an established acknowledgement from both ccs. That confirmation should hold the most weight, especially since both Phil and Wilbur seem alright with it. Even so, that familial has yet to be explored much for both characters, particularly regarding c!Phil, who has his debut (at least narratively) in a scene that feels opposite to the classic fatherly role.

c!Wilbur denounced accepting that helping hand to fall entirely into his explosive end, setting a precedence unlike most fatherly types arriving to save their kid. Usually, fandom narrative would love a close save, father and son uniting to heal and build up what was broken, but c!Phil’s entrance inks his story in failure. Angsty, right? We love angst!

And yet, as the story ticks on, the bad takes pile up.

Why? Well, I’l used to think that it is a “funny haha” type thing; a way to grieve for a character that was lost, as Alivebur was genuinely a great character. However, with the plot slowly progressing c!Phil’s story to evolve away from the ‘mentor the kids’ trope , I should have seen a storm on the horizon.

It should have been seen from the moment he stabbed c!Wilbur in the chest, but optimism is one hell of a smokescreen.

Built up fanon, however, is probably the greatest fog to ever exist.

There are lines before the button room confrontation that paint a picture of Wilbur seeking out the approval of his father (who seemed distant, at least from his POV), as well as hints to the SBI dynamic, but with the countless dismissals/retcons from CCs involved, as well as little to no consistent canon acknowledgement of this team dad role...Why base an entire hate piece of c!Phil just because popular fanon isn’t real?

Why, for the sake of building up a well rounded character, would one place the title of a communal parental figure on a grieving father who has little attachment to the community involved, especially when most of them are too busy delving into their own issues?

Furthermore, why go for Mr. Philza Minecraft: Angel of Death, CEO of KEKW, Functioning Immortal????

It’s madness, luv, and frankly, antis cannot let c!Phil process any of his grief (or flesh out his character) without his contributions being fatherly. His role has been idealized to the point where he is not a character on his own, but an accessory to the happiness of other characters. That is not how the world works, and in a conflict riddled server like the dsmp, arguing that it should be like that is counterproductive.

c!Phil had his own shit to deal with, and as he slowly uncovers how fucked up the server actually was, he merely adapts to it. He learns to play the game by his own rules, and people become mad that he’s succeeding in his own way. It's as simple as that, particularly when referencing his initial exposure to the world he now inhabits.

c!Phil is a man who used to hear of his son’s success from the letters he received, words spinning tales of won revolutions and newfound friendships. To a father, those letters are more than enough to assume that all is well, and with it, he had no reason to check on his son, who was already old enough to be carving his path alone. For him to arrive and see just how broken his son actually was, and then, in front of faces he only vaguely knows, kill said son... There's a lot to take in.

He shouldn't have had to care about L'Manberg in those moments, not when he had his son in his arms, dead by his own goddamn weapon; his son who, to his knowledge, was doing pretty well up until he caught wind of his plot. Yet, he does.

He gives them the benefIt of the doubt, even ignoring the one person he has shown to have deep history with (c!Techno) to assist the nation in defeating the withers and rebuilding what was lost.

c!Phil stays in a nation that has seemingly brought his son right into his demise, holding in that grief to help people who he assumes have the chance to rebuild, to reform. For a moment, he trusts that the system can turn into something positive, offering to hunker down and do what he can to help. That’s the start of a fatherly type role for most -- with many expectations rising from fans to ‘fix’ all these traumatized characters.

In another plot, perhaps critics could have gotten the tropes they want from c!Phil, but to blame the character for reacting negatively to a world he barely knew, right after seeing it ruin his son and target a friend...Maybe the need for a "father figure" only stems from making their faves happy.

Characters that don't directly support your fave are not inherently awful characters. Critique based on that alone is...flimsy, really, but honestly, you can use to to show how they process things.

Which brings me to the events leading up to Doomsday, and with it, the steady rise of c!Phil’s defining traits.

Say it with me, folks: c!Phil is one of the most loyal members on the server, but loyalty doesn’t mean he's blindly following along!

😃☝🏾Butcher Army take this L👉🏾😎👉🏾 Found it in the L’Mancrater

-- birb 2k21

The butcher army arc, while nestled among the mainline story of Tommy’s exile (which I will not even mention, because those dadza takes about visiting may deserve a post on their own), allows for c!Phil to see into the minds of those who had once been with (or even against) his son’s plans. Sure, he may be witnessing them after the eve of their newfound traumas, but this is an important observation to make when comparing how easy it was to denounce his affiliation to them and side with c!Technoblade.

Unlike the new Administration, slowly dipping deeper and deeper into their own form of power hunger, c!Technoblade’s base desires had never wavered. His trust in others, however, had, still nursing the sting of a betrayal, but with no conflict in sight. He is reforming, finding comfort in his solitude, and still maintaining contact with those he trusts.

Techno's Compass, for one, is a major example of their mutual trust. Despite being on opposing territories, they are civil enough to trust each other, just like old friends.

Thus, when you take two old friends who are more than used to conflict -- one grieving and one betrayed, but both seeking neutrality -- it shouldn’t have surprised the antis that c!Phil would place c!Techno’s whereabouts (and life, mind you) over some government he barely knew.

And yet, above all else, c!Phil starts off as a neutral party for everyone's sake, forgoing potential conquest for peace.

To c!Phil and c!Techno, it’s like fighting back to back, knowing that one can always trust the other to fend off those just waiting to take advantage of your blindspot, while also quelling the need to imagine your partner turning around and doing the same. That sort of friendship is forged through many, many hardships.

They betray what little trust he had built in them. That’s on them.

c!Phil is aware how untrusting c!Techno is, and while c!Techno feels safe enough to give his all for c!Phil, he never exploits it to get ahead, which is something L'Manbergians felt okay with doing.

They take a book out of the playbook used on c!Techno, for c!Techno.

They went after yet another person who was close to him, using their power and influence to hold an execution under the guise of seeking justice. If c!Wilbur, at least pre-corruption arc, sent letters to his father, one would at least expect some of his old ideals of freedom and fairness to leak through into his friends, right? To see those c!Phil assumed would hold similar ideals immediately skew towards a darker, brutal side, particularly in threatening others to get what they wanted...Well, shit hit the fan.

c!Phil does not have that strong relationship with any former L’Manbergians, and despite there being potential for such, it didn't work out that way; instead, however, those characters manage to mistake his kindness for weakness. They take his preferred neutrality as a way to exploit him, to gain in such a way that he lost agency...

No more Mister Nice Dadza, and honestly, he’s justified in that notion.

They’ve lost his trust, time too short to have gained that strong link like c!Techno’s or c!Wilbur’s, and with it, came the inevitable association with Doomsday.

c!Phil knew c!Techno’s intentions from the beginning -- which had only wavered into dormancy because he had grown tired of fighting, understanding that the cycle he wishes to break is not worth his efforts -- so the agreement in participating is effortless.

c!Dream was there too, of course, but in their mutual quest for eradication, it’s made canon that c!Techno and c!Phil hid away most of their arsenal, despite seeming overprepared. They have no loyalty to c!Dream; they’re smart enough to play along, however. He was a means to an end.

There’s no lies present in their relationship; c!Phil needed someone who didn’t try and pull wool over his eyes, and c!Techno let him see.

c!Techno needed someone who wouldn't stab him in the back, and c!Phil stayed true as his hidden sword.

Which is why, as the two joined forces, ideals aligning and power synergized, they didn’t think twice about nuking the nation to bedrock. Mutually agreeing that the system needs to die, they did what they could, and they succeeded.

How cool of them, tbh LMAO.

New L’Manberg tugged too hard at the sleeping tiger’s tail; they shouldn’t have expected it to roll over.

Their openness to each other was known.

There was no need for underhanded plays, for hidden betrayals, for undisclosed words.

Their loyalties were strong.

They were in sync.

In conclusion (maybe, maybe not...this shit is long holy heck)

😃☝🏾 I may hate this analysis in 30 minutes👉🏾😎👉🏾 Or I may make a part 2. Fuck it!

-- birb 2k21

And that’s what makes c!Phil an interesting character: He tends to be critiqued in reference to chatacters who have very well wronged him, have no affiliation to him or get associated to him through popular fanon. There's a lot to cover that I haven't (from Ghostbur to the whole Tommy 'dilemna') but overall I'm digging what I have now and if I ever get more energy, I'll continue!

c!Phil enthusiasts, I hope I did you proud LMAO. It's my first forray into this side of tumblr 👉🏾👈🏾 I'm a lurker.

c!Phil antis, you can either act respectful or go argue with a wall. I got experience dealing with antis on Tumblr; I am immune to BS.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. Signing off!

- BIRB.

#dream smp #dsmp #philza #ph1lza #this one's for the c!phil enthusiasts hello hi ily all #I have spent the entire afternoon writing this while the power is out lmaoo #fandom leave my mans philza minecraft alone challenge #god i don't even know how long this is I'm so sorry #i let a little bit of my c!techno enthusiasm shine through too

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agerefandom · 4 years ago

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Okay, this is just a silly over-sharing personal post about my experience of kinning and how that feels for me! If I’m going to talk about it on here, I figure I should introduce my… unique experience of it.

Note: this is a vulnerable post for me, so please don’t make fun of me for my experiences or fandoms! Asking questions is totally okay, and corrections are welcome, but please be patient and give me the benefit of the doubt that I’m doing my best! Also, content warning for passing mentions of depression, insomnia, hallucinations, and flashbacks. The whole thing is a bit of a mental trip, so if you’re prone to unreality problems, I don’t recommend reading this!

Right! So, what is kinning, or being otherkin or fictionkin?

That’s a really complicated question! The community has expanded a lot in the last few years, and to be honest, the words have kinda lost their meaning. (Some people from the old communities are mad about that, and honestly... I get it.)

I’m not otherkin, so I’m not going to talk about it too much, but it’s the longer-established community (although I’m pretty sure that people have been kinning characters, people, animals, and concepts since the beginning of humans, hit me up for historical examples if you’d like).

Basically, being otherkin is when you identify as something other than human! People have lots of explanations for why this happens: reincarnation, spiritual connections. Others see it as connected to their neurodivergence, and others don’t feel the need to justify their identity as otherkin!

Being fictionkin is really blowing up on the internet right now, and it’s when you identify as a fictional character (ie. Sherlock Holmes). It’s a nebulous concept, and some people are now using ‘kinning’ as a way to say that they just relate to a character, or they find a part of themself expressed in a character. Others identify fully with the character, or have memories from what they believe is a past life or alternate universe where they were that character.

I’m not gonna say that one definition of ‘kinning’ is right and others are wrong, because language is made to evolve, and my own experience is so complicated that I hardly know which side my own experiences fall on! But it’s important to know that both communities exist, and it’s currently hard to tell what a person means by having a character on their ‘kinlist’ (list of characters/things they kin).

My story with kinning, under the ‘read more’.

When I was a kid, it took me a long time to figure out that other people don’t experience media the same way that I do. They don’t feel sharp pain in their leg when someone on-screen hurts a leg, for example.

I have over-active empathy: I can tell when someone on the train is feeling anxious, because I start feeling my heart racing. I share this quirk with my mother, who’s a lot better at regulating it. It might be an autism thing, it might be a spiritual thing, lots of people have given theories. But it’s a thing that I experience, and that’s all that matters for the moment.

As one consequence of this hyperempathy, ever since I was a child, I have a tendency to ‘pick up’ characters: the lines between myself and them blur while I watch a movie or read a book, and then I can’t quite unblur those lines when I’m done.

(I jumped off the garage roof when I was six, insisting I was Peter Parker. I sprained an ankle and was banned from Spider-Man content until I was eleven.)

I don’t pick up characters as often anymore: I can go anywhere from four months to two years without the lines of my selfhood getting blurry. When I was a young teen, though, it felt like my head was just full of people who wanted different things, and I couldn’t tell which of them were me, which of them were my parents, and which of them were fictional.

Thank god high school is over.

Anyways, ‘picking up’ characters has always been a struggle for me. It challenges my fashion choices, my favourite activities, my gender identity, and sometimes even my taste in food. It lasts for two weeks to six months, and then I subside back into my ‘natural’ state (which was rapidly changing in my teen years, adding to my confusion).

It made me feel really crazy, because none of my friends had this experience, and I’d never heard anyone else talking about it!

It turns out there is a term for this, it’s called ‘fictionflickers.’ It’s a term for a wide range of experiences, but one of the things it covers is briefly switching to the viewpoint of a fictional character, or a temporary ‘taking on’ of a character. Exactly what I experience! It’s temporary, and kin-adjacent, but it doesn’t technically fall under the umbrella of being fictionkin or otherkin, which are more fixed identities (although some people would argue that).

I am so happy to have a word for this. It makes me feel validated, and like I can actually talk to people about it. And it helps me to deal with it without fear, knowing that I’m not alone in the experience.

But then there’s another category of characters, which only showed up when I read a series called All For The Game (or The Foxhole Court) at age 18.

There’s a character in this series named Andrew Minyard. Immediately, I knew he was ‘mine’ (in a way I often connect to characters that become fictionflickers). His name leapt out at me from the page, I could feel his actions in my body more strongly than the other characters, it almost felt like I could predict his actions.

Anyways, bad things happen to that character. Well, bad things happen to most characters in that series. But Andrew’s plotline hit me hard, twisting my empathy into one big bundle of terribleness. I had nightmares for months, always in his body, and all throughout it, there was this terrible feeling that I was forgetting something.

I put it down to being a really bad fictionflicker (although I didn’t have the term yet, I called it ‘picking up characters,’ and I knew it was a reoccurring experience). But it was weird: there was no real shift in my personality or tastes, aside from a severe drop in mood because of the nightmares and insomnia. It wasn’t like a fictionflicker at all, aside from the fact that I couldn’t get this character out of my head.

Eventually, the nightmares started bleeding over into my days in the form of vivid flashbacks and… I stopped fighting what I’d been too scared to admit to myself. They were memories. They weren’t my memories, they were Andrew’s memories, but they were in my head, and I was dealing with the consequences.

Everything got easier when I recognized that. It felt right to process them as memories, rather than hallucinations, which I had been thinking of them as. This change in thinking made a huge difference, although I couldn’t tell you why, and the nightmares finally stopped.

But still, what were someone else’s memories doing in my head? Surely that was weirder than hallucinations?

And that’s when I found the kin community, and threw myself in headfirst.

Memories are one of the key differences between ‘I relate to a character’ kinning and ‘I am this character’ kinning. There are tons of other people with character-memories!!! I’ve quizzed dozens of (very patient and kind) people who share this experience, and heard dozens of theories about why it happens.

I don’t really have a personal theory, to be honest. It’s weird, and it’s happening, and I’m still not quite sure what to do about it, if anything. Mostly, I just try and be more open about it, when I can be. It’s still such a strange and unusual experience, and I get nervous explaining it to people, but it helps to talk about it. Especially when memories or new characters are bothering me, and I need help to separate myself from them.

Sometimes the line between ‘fictionflicker’ and ‘kinning’ is hard for me to find. The vivid thoughts and cravings that come with my fictionflickers occasionally cross into memories, and it’s really only time that will tell whether a character is a permanent part of me, or a temporary identification.

Anyways, here’s a list of my permanent kins, and my more recent or significant fictionflickers! I would never tell anyone about these without all the context you just read, but I think you can understand me well enough not to judge them too harshly now.

Here’s the picrew I used to make most of the images!

Kins (and memories)

Andrew Minyard (Foxhole Court: mainly childhood memories: no memories of the book era, some pre-novel Palmetto memories)

Dirk Strider (Homestuck: non-game universe: caregiver splinter in a mess of a headspace with lots of folks around)

Holden Caulfield (Catcher In The Rye: hospital memories, and not much else)

Spiral (Magnus Archives: pre-Michael era, blurry memories, how it felt to be a labyrinth)

Fictionflickers (age 16-22, not in chronological order)

Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls: two months: had some very confusing times thinking I had one eye. Enjoyed the music taste.)

Wade Wilson (Marvel: twelve months: helped me get all the voices in line when I was a teen. Also, made me feel better about the eczema that used to cover my face and shoulders. A reoccurring fictionflicker every few years.)

Mae Borowski (Night In The Woods: one month: on the line of kin and fictionflicker. I miss her mother terribly. Doesn’t mix well with my fear of heights, since I want to climb everything. I get weird dreams as Mae, but I often get weird dreams.)

Alexander Hamilton (Hamilton: six months: worst fictionflicker ever, I didn’t sleep a solid night for months but I did get straight As and met the Prime Minister. Long story.)

Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty: two months: absolutely terrible person to have in your head. I wrote some songs, stayed up late, and dressed defensively feminine. I usually refuse to admit that I have memories from a version of him, because I’m not putting that name on my proper kinlist.)

Kevin (Welcome To Night Vale: ?one month?: another kin/fictionflicker blurry line. He makes my mouth hurt when I listen to his episodes. He was bringing up my Spiral memories before The Magnus Archives ever came out.)

Courfeyrac (Les Miserables: four months: brilliant era. Had so much energy. Joined a political group on campus, made donuts for people, and generally had a good time. Dated too many of my friends, though.)

#if anyone reads all the way to the end... they probably know more about me than anyone except for two friends #i don't know if the little chatting doodles are nice or disruptive but they felt Right #i would love to have done this as one of those explanation comics but uhhhh it's two pages of text #it would have been soooo long #anyways!!!#thank you for encouraging me to share some personal content #perhaps i shall do more in the future when i have a craving to Overshare #questions and comments and shared/different experiences of kinning are all welcome in my inbox!!#i talked a lot but I can talk MORE!#kinning #fictionkin #fictionflicker #hark i say nothing #not agere

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