#I know he won't go back to American Horror Story

[hypodermicfroggy]

The fact that my mother is watching yet ANOTHER Yellowstone marathon makes me wish for the sweet release of death the show to end once and for fucking all just so that Wes Bentley can find new work that isn't this shitshow.

I've watched some of the shittiest of shitty indie movies for that man, I watched the shit he made when he was still hooked on heroin and actually stoned on camera, I watched the absolutely DOGSHIT pre-MCU adaptions of fucking Jonah Hex and Ghost Rider out of devotion to that man, but god, I'm not strong enough for this.

[derangedsynthpop]

because barbie

written for @bucktommywinterfest Halloween warm up round

prompt: couples costumes

rated: T

tags: halloween costumes, horny buck, smitten tommy, banter

word count: 824

[read below or on AO3]

Summary:

Buck and Tommy try to figure out what to wear to a 118 Halloween party.

***

"I am not wearing that."

"What? Aw, c'mon, Tommy. Please?" Buck tilts his chin down to look at Tommy through his lashes with a pout.

"Absolutely not. And put those sad puppy eyes away, Evan, they won't change my mind."

"Okay, fine," Buck huffs. Taking one more look at the picture on his phone, he frowns, silently mourning what could have been, and shuts the screen off. "Then what would you suggest?"

They're sitting cross-legged on his bed, facing each other, and trying to decide what to wear to the Halloween party Bobby and Athena are throwing at their new house. Buck feels like they've been going back and forth over it for hours, when in actuality, it's only been about ten minutes.

"Okay," Tommy grins wickedly, doing that little excited wiggle he does that Buck adores. "You already know I have the whole get-up to do Han Solo..."

Buck raises an eyebrow at that, instantly intrigued. "And who would I be?"

"Well, I think you would look really hot in a slave Leia costume."

The images that Buck's mind conjures has blood rushing to his face and his heartrate skyrocketing. "I, um-- Uh, wow," he says a bit breathlessly. "I... wow."

Tommy laughs, cupping Buck's face in his hands. He gives Buck a quick peck on the lips. "Did I break your brain?"

"Mhm."

"You know I wouldn't actually ask you to wear that in front of your friends and family, right? Unless you really wanted to."

Buck breaks out of his daze to say, "Hey, they're your friends and family, too, Tommy."

Tommy gives him another quick kiss. "I know. I just also knew phrasing it like that would get your brain back to the present."

Buck rolls his eyes affectionately. "Okay. So, I'm definitely not wearing a slave Leia costume. Outside of sexy time, that is. And, I don't know... Princess Leia, or even General Leia, just isn't sparking anything."

"Bee and bee keeper?"

"Too soon."

"Milk and cookies?"

"Too cliche."

"Shaggy and Scooby?"

"Too many invasive questions about our sex life."

"Ghostbusters?"

"Ehhh..."

Tommy sighs. "Evan, we have to pick something in the next few days or we'll be the only ones without costumes."

"Ughhhh," Buck groans, dropping his head back. "Why is this so haaarrd?" His head shoots back up. "Oh! Hard! Maybe sex will help me think."

Buck reaches for Tommy's pants, but Tommy grabs his wrist. "No. No sex until we figure something out."

"Oh, you are evil."

Tommy grins big, his eyes crinkling and nose scrunching up all adorable, taking Buck's hand and bringing it to his lips. Buck is helpless against that smile, blushing as he returns a small smile of his own. "Angel and devil?" Tommy asks, and kisses Buck's knuckles.

"May...be...? It's a solid contender, at the very least."

"Alright!" Tommy claps his hands together. "Finally, we're getting somewhere."

"Ooh, one of us could be the Rubber Man from American Horror Story." Buck waggles his eyebrows, biting his lip as he looks Tommy up and down.

Tommy gives him a look. "What was that about too many question about our sex life?"

"Relax, Babe, I was kidding." Buck pats Tommy's leg. Then he grins, and adds, "Mostly."

"Brat."

Buck sticks his tongue out, like the mature adult he is. Tommy flicks the tip of his nose, then kisses it to soothe the slight sting.

"Okay, well what about pirates? Cowboys?" Tommy asks.

"Hmm, I was a cowboy for the Haunt Fest. I don't want to just repeat that. But you in assless chaps? Yes, please."

"Evan."

"What?"

"You're picturing me in assless chaps, a cowboy hat, and nothing else, aren't you?"

"Absolutely," Buck says like it would be ridiculous to think otherwise.

Tommy shakes his head, a fond look on his face.

"Cop and robber?" Buck suggests. "I'll let you cuff me."

Tommy quirks a brow. "Like you don't already?"

Buck snickers. "Okay, okay. For real this time. Um, what about... Oh! Barbie and Ken. In their cowgirl and cowboy oufits."

"I thought you didn't want to be a cowboy again? What makes this any different?"

"Because Barbie."

"Alright," Tommy raises his hands in surrender. "But why not Ken and Ken?"

"Why would be both be Ken?"

"Because... we're both men?"

"Tommy," Buck looks at him like he's grown a second head. "It's Barbie and Ken, not Ken and-- Wow. Nope. No. That came out all wrong. I sound like a homophobe."

Tommy laughs. "We could be Alan and Ken."

"So you don't want to see me in a sparkly hot pink cowgirl outfit?"

"I--" Tommy starts, stopping abruptly, his cheeks heating. "I don't not want to see you in a sparkly hot pink cowgirl outfit."

"So... Barbie and Ken?" Buck gives a sly smile.

Tommy nods in agreement. "Barbie and Ken it is."

"And... sex now?"

Tommy bursts out laughing, grabbing Buck's face to kiss him. "Yes, baby, sex now."

"Yeehaw!"

[a-d-nox]

the root chakra and whether i believe you could survive an apocalypse

the root chakra is telling of our survival instincts and what we need to survive.

2 (the high priestess): you saw the end coming but likely want nothing to do with long term living in a world without life and only death. you probably are a prepper though.

3 (the empress): it's pretty unlikely you will live - you are too reliant on others providing for you and likely would miss the conveniences of the modern world.

4 (the emperor): 100% is going to live - this person saw it coming and was preparing for a long time (mentally, physically, etc). they don't have interest in a commune either or rather they would never be dependent on others to survive - they would probably become a leader in an apocalypse.

media representation: any lead character in a post-apocalyptic movie / tv show

5 (the hierophant): dooms-dayer - 100% percent would pray on those who are scared and convince them that you have minimal ways to survive most of which will involve aiding them. they are the type to dictate to others what they need to be done but won't get their own hands dirty. they have zero issues turning religion into a way of life and claiming that current passages were warning them all along - they definitely would result to implementing scare tactics.

media representation: david in the last of us

6 (the lovers): reliant on others for survival. they aren't likely to last long in that regard but also they are likely prone to depression and would become existentialistic.

7 (the charioteer): their survival depends on whether or not they have survival gear - if they don't have a good baseline, they are likely going to be the first to go. they do make good nomads though so long as they do not depend on motorways too early into the apocalypse.

8 (strength): they start out strong then end up giving up. they can be prone to getting hurt too so it is likely they will succumb to infection - perhaps consider shaping up your first aid and herbal knowledge base.

9 (the hermit): the hermit himself was a man of the wilderness - he disappeared on his own and survived on his own. these people are likely to do the same. very little will impend them they just have to be of the mindset they can do it.

media representation: the tv show alone

10 (wheel of fortune): this is the person who just survives based off of dumb luck sometimes these people have really really bad luck though.

11 (justice): this is a practical individual - who knows how to use their resources. unfortunately, they are rather high maintenance so they might be unhappy in a post-apocalyptic world.

media representation: american horror stories: apocalypse (s8)

12 (the hanged man): nope 100% wouldn't make it - probably would be the one to want to loot and take from stores then get hurt in the process because they aren't aggressive enough.

13 (death): they bounce back all the time, so i wouldn't be surprised if they just keep coming back from almost dying.

media representation: joel in the last of us

14 (temperance): they would be great at moderation/rationing their supplies, but they can experience exposure to the elements that nearly kills them if not kills them.

15 (the devil): nope, they are too dependent on the modern world and likely couldn't adjust to new horrors of an apocalyptic world.

16 (the tower): i mean they are preppers and i can see them being capable and durable, but they are accident prone and can have a horrible death if not careful.

17 (the star): absolutely not - these people are quick to give up and feel hopeless in a post-apocalyptic world. they are also prone to being overly exposed to the elements.

18 (the moon): i feel like they could survive but the question is whether or not they could bear being alone with themselves... being alone makes you face all the shadows of the self. i don't feel that they would do well in a group dynamic as they would clash with the different personalities.

19 (the sun): oop these people dip so hard. they don't care what it takes to survive they simply will.

20 (judgment): simply yes. they are very capable of remaking a life in a world they no longer recognize.

21 (the world): definitely. this is a bad ass placement - they come out on top every single time. they are often the last man standing in a survival situation.

22 (the fool): they lack awareness and it tends to be their downfall. also they take too many risks and in a survival situation, you can't simply "wing it".

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© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[fernandomagicalonsomanydances]

Been largely absent from Tumblr since I had to reset my phone but in preparation for the last race of the season here's my updated rating of the drivers based on how much I love and support them

1. Carlos - you are the reason I got into the sport Smooth Operator and "I ain't quitting you" even if you did decide to go to the cellar that is Williams

2. Fernando - with the Newey news hope is restored for my favorite old man to get his much deserved and long overdue 3 WDC "help me Adrian Newey you're my only hope"

3. Oscar - well with Logan and Danny gone and Checo leaving looks like you're getting adopted yet again Osco by me the American congratulations you can now claim 3 more races as "home races" because I'm claiming you as my home driver cause it sure ain't gonna be Canadian Nepo Baby

4. Esteban - oh Estie Bestie they didn't even let you say goodbye. Screw that shit show that is Alpine. Can't wait to see you take Haas to the next level with lovely Ollie Bear beside you (please don't hurt him or I will end you)

5. Max - my trauma bro for life who healed my inner child when he let his little sister Victoria put the sticker on the Redbull cooler at Qatar. You are the champion of the world and of the horror story that is your past

6. Lando - "a gentleman on and off the track" as your bro4lyfe Carlos said. I will never say anything bad about you again after how gallantly you treated Oscar. The goodest boy.

7. Franco - chaos powered by maté please don't go away. We need the heir of Sebastian's rizzardry and Senna's face to stick around

8. Charles - you can be a princess sometimes but you're my best friend's favorite princess just maybe don't act like someone pissed on your cheerios every time Carlos does better than you and please toughen up and lighten up because i don't know if I'm prepared to see BOTH Ferrari pilots be sad wet mops next year

9. Pierre - I used to think you were an arrogant little Frenchman who came off as vain but after burying the hatchet with Esteban at Brazil and then qualifying like a GOAT ever since I'm prepared to look past the past and actually like you now

10. Valterri - oh you cheeky cheeky Finn with your cheeks out everywhere, the grid won't be the same without you and if you want me to help you lock Helmut Marko in a shed so you can get that Redbull seat I'd only be too happy to help

11. Alex - sweet zookeeper I'm sorry your car is held together by scotch tape and prayers these days

12. Nico - the Just For Men hair care model that you are never change Nico... Except hopefully Audi can change the number of podiums you have

13. Yuki - feisty parkour king you deserve the seat alongside Max more than anyone else in the RB family currently and I will help you beat up Helmut Marko if that's what it takes

14. Checo - please go spend time with your family. You were great but you gotta go it's getting embarrassing leave before there's no dignity left to leave with and your successes get lost for the sour ending

15. Kevin - please use your last race in F1 to absolutely embrace the Danish Demolition Derby that you are and clear a path for Hulk's first podium and then enjoy your adorable lovely family and whatever sports you move on to next

16. Zhou - thanks for saving Sauber from the total ignominy of a big ole goose egg at the end of the year. I hope you come back cause you're such an inspiration to your country

17. George - once upon a time you were in my top 3 and then you decided chicanery was the way to take down Max. If you don't believe you can beat him on the track then admit it don't go plotting his downfall by getting him hit with penalty points for basically a non-event. I loved you but now you're just some whiny bitch I used to know

18. Lewis - you literally would have had a chance to surpass George if you too weren't being a whiny bitch Lewis. Threatening to not race the last 3! Whining before Brazil! Wanting to quit in Qatar! Are you or are you not a 7 time world champion? Freaking act like it. Regardless of whatever Toto may say you owe it to the team that brought you most of your championships to at least try. Think of Bono if you can't think of anyone else to show your appreciation by sucking it up a little bit bro

19. Lance - you are basically useless but at least your daddy's money will get my Daddy a better car since he brought Newey in with his dough

20. Liam - I was prepared to forgive you for replacing my beloved Danny Ric and then you went and acted like the biggest prick on the grid and decided it was on sight with any pilot who spoke Spanish or their teammates now at this rate. Your love for Cars cannot redeem your attitude which smells like Durian fruit.

[rainthespiritual]

pt 1 , pt 2

Pre-death Tate Langdon fic PART TWO

btw some trigger warnings for the series as a whole are deffinetly: drug abuse, depression, suicide, and topics similar to that even if they don't show up in this specific part THEY WILL EVENTUALLY so I just want yall to be warned ty

TRIGGER WARNING : Tate langdon is a tw tbh and American horror story in general, smoking, talk of abusive dad and family slightly(it'll be talked abt more in other parts), angst, this part is more tame that the other parts will be, and alot of talk on bullying and angsty teen bullshit yk the drill

summery: Tate invited you to his house and talked to you about wanting to be friends again!

sorry if this is bad I didn't get to edit it cuz im using my phone PLZ ENJOY LETS GET INTO IT YUH

"Meet me here again tommorow, same time."

His words have been repeating in your head since yesterday. I mean yeah almost being caught by a teacher scared you shitless... and you didn't want it to happen again but it seemed almost worth it. the way he makes you feel is worth it. I mean this is the most validated you've felt in months.

You are pulled back to reality, to the smell of musty books and to the sound of the library, "___ you aren't listening again." sighing at your so called friend. you almost snap at her but she continues before you can knowing she now has your attention again. the sound of a distant clock ticking puts you more at ease as you try not to get too deppressed. The library is usually a nice safe space for you but sometimes you are followed, but you just have to deal with it. she goes on for a while before saying something that actually causes you to look up at her,

"Do you see that guy staring at me." she waves her head and your eyes meet Tates. he's sitting down at a distant table with a book in his hands but it's clear he isn't reading it. He smiles when you notice him and its also clear he isn't looking at your friend. He's staring at you.

"Yeah I do Heather.." you break eye contact with him hoping the hotness you feel in your cheeks isn't them turning red. Tate also stops looking in your direction and his attention goes to the book.

"I mean he's cute but he's all quiet and weird, ya know? ..kinda like you." she smiles as you sigh. you aren't quiet she just won't let you get a word in. You look back to the table where Tate was at but he is gone, you look around wondering if he was still in the library but there is no sign of him. not even the book he was reading, he must have taken it. it is common for kids at your school to take books to the tables and leave them if they weren't interested or more likely if they were just trying to seem busy. Tho it being frowned upon it happens quite alot.

"I've gotta go." You gather your things and start to stand.

"..where do you have to go?" Heather your friend scoffs slightly thinking you have nothing better to do.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom actually so.. And class is starting soon, see ya." with that you leave almost as fast as you did yesterday, mostly to avoid more questioning and bitching.

It almost being time to meet Tate you make your way to the bathroom you both were at yesterday. its pretty early but it's nice to have some thinking time. you stare at the door listening making sure no one is coming your way. you'd get questioned deffinetly, especially class starting so soon.. you fidget waiting for the bell to ring but it feels like time is going by way slower than it is. After thinking for a while and the bell not ringing still you decide to go in early, I mean maybe no one's in there? like Tate said almost no one ever comes this way. or maybe Tates there early too? maybe that's why he left the library so soon..

"Tate..?" you walk in slowly praying no one other than Tate is in this bathroom. You cautiously have your eyes closed just incase.

"___?.. You're early, hey." you open your eyes to find a nervous looking Tate.

"Hey yeah I am... is- is that okay, or?" you take a deep breath, the bathroom smells like harsh chemicals and it slightly irritates your nose. "Yeah no its fine, just surprised me is all." what he says makes you feel better and you look up to see him smiling at you, his eyes are red and watery and hes repeatedly wiping his nose.

"is there anything wrong?" you ask genuinely concerned. You seem to notice a wave of sadness on his face, or maybe it was just the smell of this bathroom you felt it irritating your eyes so maybe the same was happening to him? or maybe he was sad, he did tend to look sad. remembering all the small times you looked at him in the halls or at him if he was in the same room as you, he was sad. or atleast not smiling.

"Nothing at all, now that you're here." he walks closer to you, looking down at you.

"me? what do you mean?" you knew exactly what he meant, it just felt so surreal that this tall blonde good smelling guy that just so happened to go to school with you they you also used to be friends with could say this. I mean who would have known. all the boys you were used to interacting with never payed that kind of attention to you.

"I just mean I'm glad you're here. what else would I mean?" you smile again enjoying him saying these things. the validation you felt made you feel great, and he knew exactly what to do to make you feel special. not to say he was lying or anything, he wasn't. His confidence radiated off of him and he knew just what to say.

"well you could mean alot of things." he smirks at your response before pausing.

"Here, sit with me again." He climbs up on the sinks, making sure they aren't wet with his sleeve first. you notice a brownish red stain on his sleeve and decide whether ot not to bring it up. you choose to ignore it climbing up next to him. you take a deep breath noticing how your nose is now used to the harsh chemical smell that is all around the both of you.

"I'm surprised you came," he states looking into your eyes, a weird wave of guilt builds up in your stomach remembering how well you two got along. you truly regret not talking to him and hope you can make up for all the time you two have lost together.

" you know... I think about you all the time." he pushes a section of your hair behind your ear, admiring your face again.

you smile wider at him focusing on his pretty brown eyes. They are so dark and mysterious its not even funny. you also take notice of how dark his undereyes are, he must be tired.

"Is that why you were looking at me earlier? " you nervously smirk watching as he gets up off the counter to stand infront of you.

"we should go to my house." he places his arms on the counter making it so he is looking down on you slightly.

"your house?" you gulp.

"yep, my house," he nods, "we'd have fun I swear. I mean no one's even home." this catches you off guard. I mean a boy inviting you to his house was the last thing you expected to happen. Especially at school, a boy is not only inviting you to his house hes inviting you to ditch school with him at his house.. while no one's home.

"Sure, fuck it!" He leaves first making sure no one is around, you sneak out thanking God no one is around. and somehow you guys make it out without being caught. He leads you and you start to get nervous.

"is- is your house close or?" you gulp feeling a tad bit guilty. You've never missed school on purpose before.

"Actually I was thinking of going somewhere first.." he smirks and puts his hand around your shoulders.

"oh.. where?" the ideas of where he could bring you excited you slightly. The air was clear and the sun was hiding behind some clouds. its a gloomy day yet you were glad you were getting to spend it with Tate, something about him hypnotized you and made you feel ways you never felt before.

"The beach, trust me it's cool. especially on days like this.." he smirks more putting your hand in his, his warm soft touch made you blush. You never felt this way about anyone, he made you feel special.

You both walk in silence just enjoying eachothers company until you make it to the beach. You both sat in the sand admiring the ocean and the gloomy sky.

"do you play hookey alot?" you ask smiling already knowing he often does, you just didn't know what else to say.

"just when I get bored, or sad I guess.. I like to come here, y'know when everything gets too much? I come here.." he sighs looking off into the sea, his eyes are shining with the water and you can't help but to admire his beauty.

"No, I totally get that. I get sad alot too, thats why I go to the library. Usually no one follows me." he frowns looking away in the distance making you unable to look in his eyes anymore.

"y'know.. I don't get why you hang out with those assholes, it's clear they give zero shits about you. all they care about is themselves, even I can tell you that." you frown along with him, you want to tell him off but you can't bring yourself to because in the end... he's right. they don't and never cared about you. they never listen to you about your problems or your feelings. It's always about them them them.

"I know.. that's exactly how it is.. but I have no one else, I'm too scared to be alone." you open up a bit to him about how you feel hoping he will actually listen.

"you wouldn't be alone ___, I'd hang out with you. I mean trust me I'm cooler than all those bitches combined!" he laughs knowing he made you smile.

"then I guess I won't be hanging around them anymore. I got you now." you both smile walking the rest of the way to his house, talking about your past and goofing off.

[the-crooked-library]

This might be a silly question, but I'm interested in your opinion about why most people saw Orlok as gross and ridiculous, "not scary at all". They emphasize this contrast: this monster is "just" a corpse with some worms on it, it's not scary at all, and those moustaches are hilarious.

I don't get it. We have for example zombies, they are literal corpses, very very gross, but nobody says they are ridiculous or not scary. And besides, a vampire is dead. A corpse is an accurate depiction.

No I really don't get it, I mean, I know we have been fed this narrative of vampires as very sexy and hot human being, with nothing even remotely gross in their look, but... is it just that? 🤔

Honestly, I think there are a number of reasons for it, but primarily: the majority of the viewers are desensitized to rotting corpses in film, and ascribe to modern beauty standards.

In regards to the first -

Disgust and fear are two very distinct emotions that often go hand in hand, but are in fact separate. The zombie subgenre of horror, which famously uses both, tends to also either be stereotyped as slasher fodder, or lean heavily into the "numbers" types of violence - zombies, in most depictions, are slow, shambling, and easy to avoid. Naturally, they do absolutely spread infection (which Orlok also does); but, years into a pandemic that is now being steadfastly ignored worldwide, I think we all know how the general public feels about disease (they think it won't affect them bc they're special/god protects them/they eat vegetables or whatever the fuck). In the end, to these viewers, Orlok is just one person. They wouldn't go to a desolate castle in the Carpathian mountains. They aren't psychic and wouldn't draw his interest. They wouldn't be working on a ship, or living in a city - oh, wait, hold on. Better ignore that last part. Haha. The point being, a lot of people only find horror "scary" if they can plausibly imagine themselves in the specific situation shown to them onscreen - that's why you see these endless, mindless cycles of "WHY would you go into the BASEMENT??" or "I would check if there's anyone in the back seat", "I wouldn't read this obviously cursed book lol." In the case of a story set in 1838, the historical distance alone renders that immediate projection-fear ineffective; and to these viewers, a walking corpse becomes a harmless curiosity, even if the disgust remains. They've seen all sorts of monsters on a screen.

The second -

Yes, it's the moustache. By and large, they are considered unattractive, antiquated, or funny - in American cultures, specifically, a big moustache tends to be also associated with 70s era bikers, Westerns, and sometimes lumberjacks; essentially, the sort of things nobody tends to take very seriously in the modern age. Even though it fits Orlok, it makes perfect sense historically that he'd have it, a lot of viewers will draw that visual connection in their heads regardless, because they don't actually have a preexisting foundation of "knowledge about medieval/early modern Romanian nobility." I've seen some people argue that they liked Gary Oldman's moustache in the 1992 Dracula, and Orlok's was just "too goofy" - but Oldman's Dracula had the sort of facial hair that isn't too uncommon in the 21st century, not anything even remotely similar to the historical figure he is supposed to be. Beauty is an extremely subjective, constantly shifting standard, and most filmmakers tend to sacrifice historical accuracy for mass appeal. Eggers isn't one of them.

TL;DR some people are incapable of taking a film seriously if it "looks weird" or makes them uncomfortable in some way. Just take a look at the online reactions to The Substance, or the box office earnings of a good number of "cult classics."

[asurrogateblog]

Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?

I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.

I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.

My Backstory Timeline:

early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.

2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.

Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.

2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.

Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.

Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.

I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life. The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.

September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.

This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.

September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.

Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.

That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.

Anyway, that’s my backstory!

[sawyerconfort]

songbird | misty day x reader

 Well, here I am, writing and opening the imagines for American Horror Story: Coven over here.

I was dying to write something to post here again and this one came to mind because firstly I love Misty and she deserves all the love in this world and secondly because I love this song, I love Fleetwood Mac and I love Christine McVie forever.

I hope you like it anyway.

There are open requests and a list of prompts if you want, just click here!

Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------

Prompt: You go through the same problem as your older brother: the fact that you fell in love with a witch. But Misty is different, and will show you that love is not wrong, even with tragic fates awaiting you.

* * *

Fate couldn't be crueler to you.

It was hard to look at her and know that the two of you would possibly have little time to enjoy each other's company, or that you would have to kill her soon, or that it would hurt her. And mostly it was even harder to admit to yourself that you loved her and that you didn't want to lose her.

It hurt to look at Misty and know you would have to do this. You would have to end it without asking permission or changing the fate of the thing. Either way, she'd come back to life, and you'd need to stay far enough away that you never cross paths with her again, avoiding the guilt and pain that would come later.

It was an easier task for Hank, that was for sure. Your brother was the husband of a witch - Cordelia Goode, the daughter of the Supreme - and he seemed to be fine with the fact that one day he would have to watch her bleed. But he was older, had more experience, and had stronger blood than you.

Every night, you found yourself dreaming of the ultimate moment. You'd barely close your eyes and wake up sweating with flashes of a dagger being plunged into Misty's chest, or a silver bullet going through her chest. And she woke up when she saw you having nightmares, and you had to hide your discomfort, leave the cabin in the swamp and drink water far away so as not to prolong the conversation.

That would kill you first then her.

And the worst part is that your girlfriend didn't suspect anything.

* * *

There you were, training, devising new strategies so you wouldn't have to suffer in completing your mission, internally fighting your desire to end it all and the desire to burst into tears, knowing your father would never forgive you for it.

“Hey, cutie...”

You heard Misty's voice and, in fright, you hit one of the professional darts in the target, causing a hole bigger than it should have been. You turned to her and gulped as your dream passed like a gust of wind in front of you and brought the painful sight of her clutching her chest to her eyes.

“Are you all right? You're a little pale... Haven't you had your morning sun today, my love?”, she asked, showing the concern that took over when she was near you, and that left your heart completely melted.

“I'm fine,” you insisted. “What do you need, Misty?”

Cover-up. Don't feel. She can't guess. Her powers aren't that great yet.

“Oh yes, I came because… I found something out there and I wanted you to explain it to me,” she said, taking you by surprise. In her hand was a dagger, your dagger, and you swallowed harder. “You haven't been killing animals to eat the meat, have you? You know I don't like that..."

"No, I..."

You realized that your vision was getting blurred, that you were about to pass out and you sat down - or rather threw yourself - on the ground. Misty knelt next, those eyes you loved that were north of you staring at you with all the love in the world.

“You can trust me, (Y\NN), I swear, I won't judge you,” she whispered.

"I'm... I..."

“You're one of them, right? One of the hunters that occasionally shows up here to kill witches and the others...”, she replied, her voice low, deciphering everything. “Yeah, I knew it. From the beginning, I was just waiting for you to tell me.”

You looked at her in disbelief and her eyes lit up because she was smiling and you were crying. Misty didn't seem mad or disappointed in you at all. You couldn't decipher what that look and that smile meant.

"Did you knew? How did you knew?"

“Your dreams,” she said. "You didn't know it, but you talk in your sleep, and without meaning to, I end up hearing you calling my name and begging me to forgive you, or screaming... It's not on purpose, I swear, it's just... inevitable."

You were speechless. Looking at your girlfriend and getting that beautiful, generous look in return, you'd wonder how you managed to get so lucky. There was nothing that could change the fact that you loved Misty one way or another, not even your family.

“But hey, can you listen to me for a minute, honey?” she continued whispering, sitting down next to you and using her hand to hold yours. “It's okay, you don't have to feel guilty about this, okay?”

You did not answer. You couldn't find the words to say.

“I suppose the size of your pain, I imagine how difficult it must have been for you to deal with all of this, I can understand, even though I don't feel it. But you must know that nothing, nothing, and no one in this world will be able to change what I feel for you. The love, the care, the affection, the desire I feel for you...”, she smiled. “And you know, deep inside you, that you don't want to do that. And that you won't do it.”

She slowly ran her fingers through yours and smiled sadly.

“I love you, (Y\NN), and I just need you to know that, no matter what happens between us,” she kept saying. “I promise with all my heart that I will make an effort and I will do my best to be by your side and help you get through this whole idea. You are not a failure just for having feelings and not being able to do what your family does, you know that, right?”

You looked at her. “Misty...”

“I promise, with all my heart, my love. I promise that starting with today, you won't have to go through this anymore if you don't want to. And it won't be wrong, ever, because I'll be here by your side, and I'll love you until the last beat of my heart. If need be, I'll give you the world, to make up for the weight of all this burden. But you're not alone and you never will be, do you hear me?"

She brought your faces close and kissed you tenderly, brushing a strand of hair from your face and cupping your cheek reflexively, resting her hand there.

“I forgive you, my love. I forgive you because you are different from them”, she whispered. “You would never hurt me, I know that. And I won't let anyone hurt you either, not even me. You deserve all the love in the world, all the support, and all the validation, and I'm here to give you that and more.”

You smiled and kissed her once more, sniffling. Misty wiped away some of your tears and smiled the same smile as always, biting her lip and squeezing the hand that was still holding yours.

“Thank you, Misty. I promise I won't try anything against you. I promise from the heart.”

She laughed. “Okay, okay, cutie, I believe you, is that okay?”, you nodded and kissed her again. As you pulled away, Misty looked at you and away. “But now, please let me get rid of that awful pallor of yours, babe. Let's get some morning sun and take the opportunity to visit my garden halfway through. We have some beauties to water and ressurrect.”

[1000-rat-corpses]

this read more won't fucking work without text above it i guess

reaching a new psychological low with everything and the fucking assassination attempt isn't helping at all like for as long as i can remember i felt like i've had to bear the burden of the 'unfortunate awareness' of the genocide against my people that no one else wanted to hear or listen to or even understand. having to just grin and bear it when people said stupid shit due to willful ignorance, or hearing someone calling Palestine 'home' and by 'home' meaning Israel, meaning your home by your settler's "right", or people trying to to play devil's advocate, or even worse like in college being told - to my face - 'sorry we took your land, but no we're not giving it back' with a shit eating grin, the actual multiple instances of 'refusal of service' in New York the second they saw my mom, and even just last week i found myself in a situation where my old friend tells her friend (who was a stranger to me) shit like 'oh, i hope your family in israel...in gaza? is okay' and i could tell my friend was completely unaware of anything she was saying... of fucking course this girl's family wasnt in gaza. her family is in israel proper. she basically explained that her family are zionist settlers that got to move there based on their 'right'. 'i hope your family is okay.' fuck off. okay from what. and then my friend tells this girl. this stranger. that im palestinian. and without missing a beat this girl i don't know gets defensive and without me saying a goddamn thing. not a word comes from me besides 'yeah i don't just tell people that.' she says 'well im not going to apologize for [my family living there]'. unprovoked. i didn't ask for your fucking useless ass apology to begin with ugly ass bitch. I wouldn't even wipe my ass with your apology so please choke on it. it took me straight back to college with the asshole who said 'sorry we took your land but we're not giving it back' bc my roommate did the same shit by outing me as palestinian to him knowing full well what kind of person he was. my existence once known as palestinian, even as an american born palestinian, is like. immediately met with this incredible combative vitriol.

hearing the stories my mom would tell me about the horrors my grandparents went through and how my grandfather barely survived a bombing by dragging his bleeding body along the walls of buildings to get himself to the hospital, how eventually the shrapnel and old wounds would play a part in taking his life, how they were forced out of their home at gunpoint leaving everything they had, their home, their land, their life behind in the middle of the night... seeing it still continuing day in and day out and nothing is changing but getting worse, and my mom has almost been hospitalized recently from fucking ulcers and high blood pressure bc she is and has been obsessively watching the news since October and can't rip herself away from it despite how much we've been begging her...

of course, absolutely none of this is even remotely comparable to the real suffering and loss and misery and death Palestinians are going through

it's just for most people this genocide is 'new' to them. ive been living with this for basically three decades and im just so so so tired.

[growling]

For all the (mostly american) mutuals that were curious about the realm of Poland and its strange and unusual inhabitants:

Polish soldiers/armed forces etc salute with two fingers instead of the whole hand. Apparently some cub scouts also do that??

Mushroom picking season is like REALLY big here. Like. It's big. Poles love mushroom picking. When I was a young boy my mother, aunt and grandparents would drop me off into the wilderness to pick boletes for 4 hours straight then get lost and have to navigate back into the car via utilizing the earth's magnetic field to determine our position which took like 1 more hour and then once we got back I had to physically recover from that shit for like an entire week. We got like at least 4 huge baskets mushrooms after that that lasted for at least a few months if they're preserved well however I do not like mushrooms so I never even ate them. Except for cultivated mushrooms these are fine the soup bangs actually

I thought this was normal in most countries but turns out it's just us and a few others in eastern/middle Europe: most movies in Poland use voice-over translation/lektor filmowy instead of dubbing/subtitles. Multiple va dubbing is reserved mostly for children's movies and those real popular but mostly younger audience marvel type movies or something, while the subtitle type of translation is pretty rare and I honestly never even seen it on tv.

A FUCKTON of roadside/wayside shrines just being there, especially in smaller towns. Sometimes theres also a single shrine in the middle of nowhere in some woods with no civilization in sight and you just don't question it

those fuckibg white storks

We still got blasphemy laws ("offending religious feelings"/"obraza uczuć religijnych") by the way. Yes you can actually get arrested and fined and get sentenced to months of restriction of freedom for being mean to jesus

Not removing your shoes upon entering someone's place is considered rude. I feel physical pain whenever someone doesn't do that. Take them off kurwa jebana jego mać stop staining my beautiful surfaces I am going to kill you

Unlike the horror stories I've been hearing about the USA in Poland you're allowed to be rude to customers at your job🥰🥰 You can just not smile if you want🥰🥰🥰🥰 its so funny seeing tourists get so confused and offended over that and half the time we're not even being mean just. Literally servicing you with a neutral facial expression and minimal required effort sfdysrsfjewdggs

Yeah uhh related to above point kind of, there still seems to be a few remnants of a culture of distrust. 30-40 years ago neighbors snitched on each other for subversion and people sometimes just disappeared (PRL times). Fun fact during PRL my dipshit mega absent dead paternal grandfather used to beat people on the street with sticks as a job or perhaps a recreational activity in order to get goodboy points from the police. or the secret police. No idea all we know is that he didn't do that for free. Growling family lore drop

National eating donuts/pączki day. National water fight day

As far as I know, USAmericans (and honestly other english-speaking countries too?) really like to regard people they know only a little as a "friend" like I noticed its really really easy to get called a friend in there. Poles on the other hand are very scared of the word "friend" they really avoid saying it nearly all the time you won't hear a pole just say that. Most people are not our friends. That title is special sacred and reserved for only the worthy ones who you actually genuinely know and trust for a minimum of 10 years. In order to be considered someone's friend in Poland you have to max out all their meters complete all of their quests and defeat their father at the end. Most poles only have like 2-3 true "friends" lmao we really don't throw around that term lightly

Carpet hanger jumpscare

The "polish cow song" people love to meme not knowing the language/lyrics is actually about drug addiction lmao. Sorry. Lol

We also got raccoon dogs here👍👍👍

[hoziersonofnyx]

American Horror Story: Generations

Michael could feel the life draining from the red waterways of his body. "Take me to the house. Let me be with you forever", he begged. Constance looked at him for a moment and ... shook her head. "No." was all she said and left.

"Please," he begged, "don't let me die." He closed his eyes and cried, I'm just a kid. He was moving on, when suddenly..

"Hello", I greeted. He reopened his eyes. "I'm going to save you." And using magic, but to him Isimply muttered something that didn't sound human, I healed his wounds - just enough that he would live, but that he wouldn't leave me and immediately run after Constance.

"This is gonna sound crazy, but I'm gonna take care of you." I explained to him. He shook his head, "I don't know you", he gasped in pain.

"Listen kid, I'm gonna lay it out for you. Constance is afraid of you, your parents are dead, and if you go into that house, all you'll feel is the misery those people are subjected to every day. I'm gonna take you to a place free of judgment where there are other people like you, and I can safely teach you -mostly."

He shook his head as I spoke and started to move, but I pinned him down. In a gentle voice, I pleaded, "Please, don't go. I'm warning you". The kindness in my voice stopped him for a moment, and I took my chance. "Not far from here, there is a hotel filled with people that won't be scared of you. I'll raise you there for a little while, and if you really want to, I'll take you back here. But please, gimme a chance".

He mulls over my words for a moment and states, "Ok. But you'll have to help me get up. " I brace him, and we walk to a car I spotted that looks nice but generic. "I don't suppose you have a car?", I ask him. He looks startled and questions, "What? I thought this was yours. " With a sigh, I admit, " No. I don't even have a learner's permit. " He looks horrified, and the horror doubles when someone walks out of the car.

Setting Michael down, I walk to the driver and command, "Take us to the Hotel Cortez". He doesn't have a chance to blink before my Concilium takes over his body.

Walking back to Michael, who is now in utter shock, I kneel down and ask: "I don't suppose you have any clothes or money do you?". He shakes his head. With a sigh, I help him back up.

"Guess who's gonna be learning magic on the clock?", I mutter, and he whips his head so fast he almost gets whiplash. "MAGIC!?", he gasps, and I curse myself.

With a forced grin, I look back at him. In a dramatic voice, I stage whisper, "Yer a wizard, Harry". I expect him to laugh, but instead he asks, "Who's Harry?"

Raising a kid is gonna be harder than I thought. Especially when he's the Antichrist. Especially when he doesn't know what Harry Potter is.

With another sigh, I take him into the car and pray in my head that he's grown out of asking, "Are we there yet?"

End chapter one.

other chapters below:

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

3D is for the Gen Z girlies into the Y2K fashion aesthetic which they like only because they haven't lived through it. This Backstreet Boys/N SYNC sound is fine (especially the chorus, they got close), but it's a cheap imitation of what is already dumb trashy pop but we loved it back then cause it's fun to dance and sing along and we love it now because we're suckers for nostalgia. (Which is why I do linger on titktok each time an N SYNC reunion clip shows up because I'm no better). I'm not into it, I'm not into that white boy rapper (he does nothing for me) so it's a skip. Done.

I don't think there's a point to keep going about something that I have made clear and talked about in the context of Seven. 3D is simply a continuation and on track for a specific career trajectory that I'm not a fan of. But Jungkook can do and will do what he wants. These two songs have set the tone for his album so those who are liking it, have fun and enjoy the journey. I'm not being sarcastic at all. The fans who like the music should really be taking advantage of this period because with military service coming up for the remaining four, there won't be new music from them until 2025. Yep, that's about all I have left to say about JK's music career. Time to move on to other stuff. And there is enough, lol

Has anyone listened to Sweet Sounds of Heaven? Lady Gaga sounds different, but so good. I love the track, it's everything I expected from The Stones.

I might start watching again American Horror Story, my trashy tv series (yep, I do call it like that because it's been a mess, but one that I can really get into). I just saw today a few clips of Emma Roberts and Kim K. acting in some scenes and I'm tuning in for this new edition of Rosemary's Baby.

Twitter showed on my feed some article. It's an interview conducted by Robert Pattinson with Jordan Firstman (he's in Rotting in the Sun, but I haven't seen the film). I remember Pattinson doing some interviews before, but I thought I could read this just to see how it goes. He's a fun dude and nice to have a conversation with. He did his research and the end result is a quite introspective piece. I recommend it just to see how it all turned out, even for those who are not familiar with the guy being interviewed (I think he's social media famous, but not on my radar)

[words-after-midnight]

Camp prep '23 - Days 4 & 5

Lol I forgot about this again yesterday because I'm terrible. 💀 I'm gonna skip the free Friday this week (Day 3) and do Days 4 & 5 in one post while I'm thinking of it.

4. Tell us about your MC.

cw: some non-detailed discussion of violence in a prison context.

So I want to preface this by saying that in The Dotted Line, everyone goes exclusively by their prison nicknames. The only time you learn someone's real name is either if it gets revealed in an administrative context, through paperwork, the protagonist's flashback/recollection scenes where his real name is occasionally used, or conversation between inmates who know each other well. This is because virtually everyone goes by nicknames in American state prisons, and it's actually common for inmates not to know each other's real names. Nicknames are typically given based on an attribute or characteristic of the person - eg. someone from Detroit being nicknamed "Detroit," a quiet inmate being nicknamed "Mouse," a person in prison for murder being called "Killer," etc.

Now that that's out of the way, our protagonist is nicknamed "Scarface" - obviously after the 1983 Al Pacino movie, but it's because he has a visible facial scar. Another inmate (a supporting character) gave him the nickname. He actually likes it because it "sounds cool," despite his cellmate thinking it's in such poor taste that he refuses to use it (read: the cellmate knows how Scarface got the scar - our protagonist basically told the cellmate his entire pre-prison life story because he is literally incapable of shutting up - and is a decent person).

I'd consider Scarface a villain protagonist, but I won't go into why because spoilers! He was incarcerated on a life sentence without parole for first degree murder and, following classification, was placed in a Level 3 (medium security) state prison. Once "plan A" for getting out of prison fails (read: it was fucking ridiculous and it's practically inconceivable that he actually thought it would work unless you know him), his objective becomes to escape, à la Shawshank Redemption except he's way too impatient to actually dig into a wall for 20+ years. He's also absolutely convinced his escape plot will work for some reason (again: once you get to know him this becomes more understandable, albeit still ridiculous).

In terms of his personality - on the surface, he tends to be laid back and get along with anyone, but has a superiority complex and harbors a musing contempt for most people. Will be nice, endearing, polite, and charming to your face, but won't hesitate to stab you in the back if you fuck with him or get in his way. He's disadvantaged in multiple ways in a prison setting (he's a young, relatively small-built guy), which he makes up for by knowing how to get on the right people's good side (with some crucial help early on) and, when all else fails, bribery. Despite this, he tends to pretty vigilant, but he'll also put himself into an absolutely brainlessly risky situation for no reason if it sounds even mildly like it could be a good time. He can be playful and fun to be around, but make no mistake: he'll tell you he doesn't bite, and he's lying.

Another interesting thing about him is his almost superhuman ability to retain his cool and respond neutrally in situations that would traumatize most people. I feel like most people in prison get desensitized to random acts of violence and whatnot, but this man will literally witness, like, a gruesome murder and internally be like "anyways when's lunch" lmao. Personally I feel like it's a combination of just his natural disposition (my dude's baseline affect is flatter than a cutting board) and the fact that he's Seen Shit. I find his internal world pretty fascinating.

5. What genre is your WIP?

Primarily psychological horror, but there's a dark comedy element because that's how the narrator rolls. Also elements of crime (it's set in a prison) and I play around with some slasher tropes.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I'd love to know when each one of y'all became Evan's fan like since when ? personally I won't lie on myself, after Dahmer I discovered this masterpiece exists, and I don't know why I haven't seen him before even though I'm a lot into movies and series, I wish I could turn back time and knew him earlier. He's the prettiest man I've ever seen my entire life I swear to God

i'm just glad you found evan :) there's so much content to go back and enjoy, and dahmer was an incredible series. i first became aware of evan because of tumblr when the first season of american horror story came out in late 2011, but i didn't watch until 2012. that's when i first became a fan of evan's.

good question!!

[sekhithefops]

Games I Love, but Won't Play

So a while back internet personality Benjamin "Yahtzee" Croshaw did a video on the channel he and the other Escapist alumni created after the Escapist was engulfed by the grey-goo of ultracapitalism and went to shit, fired their lead director, and everyone else quit in solidarity.

The video was about games that Yahtzee really really likes on a conceptual or story level... but can't stand playing. Something about them just doesn't work for him gameplay-wise even though the rest of the game totally does.

This video made me realize 'Hey, I've got more than a few of those myself. Don't I?'

So today we're going to go down the list of them all. Join me won't you?

Poppy Playtime

For those five or six of you who actually know me, you know I'm a sucker for the cute mixed with the bizarre and demented. Where things can be both twee and disturbing at the same time. Examples include the American McGee's Alice games and, outside of video games, the pen & paper RPG Changeling the Lost.

Poppy Playtime is 100% this. Its cute and colorful and bright and cheerful... but also more fucked up than a football bat. The story centers around a toy factory that did unethical human experiments on children, turning them into living mascots for the toy company, before they rebelled, ran amok, and killed all the workers... then cannibalized their remains for nourishment in a horrific event titled "The Hour of Joy."

The game is episodic and not complete yet at time of writing, promising to get even more batshit in it's fourth installment... and sadly I will never play it. Survival Horror is not something I like. I can't deal with the stress of feeling powerlessness against a horrific nightmare that wishes me harm as, not to give away too many details, that reminds me a bit too much of my early childhood.

I love action horror. I bought most of the Resident Evil games while they were on sale last Halloween and spent a week happily blowing shit up while inhabiting the bodies of Leon S. Kennedy, Jill Valentine, and Ethan Winters... but that isn't survival horror.

Its not 'surviving by the skin of your teeth against an unstoppable foe' unless Mister X or the Nemesis shows up. Its 'hello Mr. Zombie, have you met my good friend Mr. Glock? PEWPEWPEWPEW!' Its that lovely bit of horror, but with the comforting weight of a high caliber 'go the fuck away' button in my hands.

Poppy Playtime doesn't do that. You get caught by the giant fluffy wuffy huggable horror? It kills you stone dead. Game over. I can't handle that kind of gameplay myself, it makes me more anxious than engaged and I have to stop shortly after starting... but conceptually I adore it and love watching youtubers like SuperHorrorBro do videos on it.

Moving on...

Total War: Warhammer 3

This one honestly confuses me as to WHY it doesn't work for me, because I grew up playing RTS games like the original Warcraft and Starcraft titles and this is a RTS game. You command an army from the viewpoint of an omnipotent general, directing your troops to fight your foes, and it has the fun of the Warhammer Fantasy setting which is Warhammer 40k before it got really into Science Fiction and Death Metal... so why does this one not do it?

Well, I realized something else recently. Outside of Blizzard's forays into the RTS genre... I don't like any other RTS games that I've tried. Command & Conquer, nope. Dawn of War? The first one was alright, but really slow paced for my liking. I can't even think of any others that interested me enough to try save for this one indie one called Grey Goo, and I never finished it.

So maybe its just that Blizzard's take on the genre just hits the right sweet spot for me. A mix of story, gameplay, and such that's not too hot and not too cold but, like a bowl of porridge pilfered by a prepubescent home invader, juuuuuuuuuust right.

The Monster Hunter Series

This one depresses me a bit when it comes up, because on paper it is 100% my type of game.

Hunting down gigantic monsters for treasure and equipment? Well thats what I do every day in WoW already and I practically live on Azeroth anymore.

A setting thats a mix of fantasy and steampunk technology with a smattering of that surreal fun of Japanese animation? Hells yes, I'll eat that shit right up.

The Palicos? OH SWEET FUCK THEY'RE ADORABLE I WANT TO HUG ONE SO BAD.

... AND YET... I'll load up Monster Hunter World to give it a go after it's been gathering dust in my Steam Library since... gimme a second... August 2022 so over two years at time of writing now, and I'll do a map or two... and just stop and uninstall it because I just don't want to keep playing it as I'm bored out of my mind.

It isn't just Monster Hunter either, I've tried the God Eater games too after playing Project X-Zone on my old DS and finding out they exist, and it just doesn't work at all for me.

So I think its just that genre doesn't do it... at least I'll always have Monster Hunter Stories which is more of a traditional RPG... but dammit the palicos in that just aren't as fun.

Fallout 76

Hear me out.

I have played Fallouts 3, 4, and New Vegas. I have clocked a combined 310 hours on them and thats only because I also had them on my Xbox 360 and PS4 back when I still did console gaming and I can only see my playtime on Steam now.

I absolutely love Bethesda's take on the retrofuturistic post-apocalypse hellscape of America that we'll all be experiencing in, oh, give it another 10-20 years maybe.

I also love Survival/Crafting games.

I have an entire section of my Steam library dedicated TO survival/crafting as a genre. 39 titles so far. If a new one comes out, I'll at least try it, even if it turns out to be a crappy asset flip or never leaves early access. Gods only knows how much time I've sunk into those. 7 Days to Die alone has over 500 hours.

... but ye gods I hate Fallout 76 for one specific reason. One very specific, very very specific reason.

... *deep breath*

... WOULD IT FUCKING KILL YOU TO LET US PLAY SINGLEPLAYER BETHESDA?!

Survival/Crafting games, for me, are games that I almost always play alone. A sandbox/lego set/bonsai garden that I can sink into like a warm hot bath and emerge from hours or even days later standing at the base of a massive castle that I erected out of shit I found in the woods around where I spawned. Its all about the customization, the fun of creation for me.

That fun is absolutely shattered when I see some yabbo run past with a name like YOLO_420_BLUNTMASTER pursued by a deathclaw while they squeal and flail their arms.

I have 76 in my Steam Library awaiting the day that Todd Howard finally has to shut down the servers and switch it to private servers and single player, and when that day comes I will happily wander the hills of Appalachia (which for the record I actually live near in real life so it really ticks me off that this game doesn't work for me now) and explore the ruins of American civilization IN SOLITUDE.

Also, before anyone says it. Yes I know about Fallout 1st, but if you think I'm going to give Howard any money for something that should have been included by default like that you have another thing coming.

In closing, let me link the video here that started this whole train of thought for me. I'm really enjoying what Nick Calandra and the rest of his crew are doing with Second Wind and I hope that the channel can stick around.

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S7 Watchthrough Episodes 18-20

Eye of the Beholder: It was... okay I guess? It's not bad but it wasn't all that enjoyable either, it was just weird. I really wish they didn't add the weird psychic elements to this one and made it an outright story about investigating the officer taking his own life and sticking with it. It's a VERY tough subject, but they've done emotional episodes like this before, they could have pulled it off at least somewhat. Instead after the first act, we get utter weirdness which DOES make sense at the end, but still. It makes this officer feel utterly lost and forgotten in the mix and like they took an easy way out of exploring it. Also... sorry TNG, not feeling Worf/Troi at all and given what I know about DS9, you didn't either. It's fine, it's watchable and the big twist helps me form getting truly angry at it, but it could have been FAR better. 2/5.

Genesis: So at first the episode seems like it's gonna go in a bit of a wacky direction with something affecting everyone to act strangely like Barclay becoming hyperactive and Troi feeling cold all the time. Then after a VERY uncomfortable scene involving Troi and Worf (the latter isn't in his right mind), Crusher gets acid to her face and it all goes utterly off the rails from there. It's The Naked Time and The Naked Now but add in biological de-evolution and a shit tone of more body horror. That last part kinda ruins it tbh, it feels more goofy than horrific which may have worked in TOS, but not TNG. And that's not going into all the questionable science involved cause IDT that's how evolution works. Still overall it was fine, it's certainly one of the creepier episodes that's for sure. Also this episode makes Crusher look like an incompetent idiot, but ah well. On the upside, KITTENS!!! 2.5/5.

Journey's End: I'm not going to go into the political conflict regarding the Native Americans being forced to move from what they established as their home, not how they are portrayed. I don't at all feel educated enough to even attempt to go into it though given this was in the 90's I don't feel confident in the episode's portrayal of Native Americans and their culture whatsoever. But I'll leave the discussion to the people who actually know what they're talking about because I don't at all feel that I am qualified to do so. Instead, we'll talk about Wesley. This is the bookend to his character and... I'm very mixed about it.

I'm not against him becoming disillusioned with Starfleet (even though they don't mention his last episode which I feel would be a PRETTY BIG one to bring up, especially in this context and despite it coming up just a few episodes prior), but his sudden attitude feels like it came out of nowhere. Mind you he's been at the academy all this time so I guess that would explain it, but still. Then the ending... I won't spoil it but... I don't know how to feel about it. I guess they did hint at it back in S1 and S4, but it still feels out of left field for me. The ideas for Wesley are good and I could see this working, it feels rushed, incomplete because of Wesley leaving the show back in S4, and ends up unsatisfying. It could be worse I supposed, but I digress. Good idea, mediocre execution. Will Wheadon's acting was good though, I won't at all deny that. Overall, this is going into the 'ignore this episode's existence' pile. 2/5.

The more S7 goes, the more I can see why this ended up being the last one. When the best of the bunch is the episode that understands nothing about evolution/biology, it's not looking good for you. But it's almost over, only six episodes to go and TNG is done. Let's see how this all goes.