#I know everybody is half naked in this game for some reason so there's also that

[rawliverandgoronspice]

sorry I'm having thoughts because I haven't slept and when I don't sleep I have thoughts....................

I was thinking about Canon Suave Ganondorf again, and... I think what bothers me, beyond everything discussed, is that... it's not characterization? Like for example take Girahim, which I would argue is also a Sexy Villain. Him being a Sexy Villain is 1) a key factor of his presentation and double-edged creepiness, 2) has kind of a lot to do with his literal objectification and 3) is completely played as such, and Girahim himself has a lot of fun with his own theatrics. I don't mind Sexy Villains, they are a lot of fun and they can even be quite meaningful!

So I am not against Sexy Ganondorf by default. I feel like, if played honestly and not ashamed of its own conceit, it could be genuinely interesting! But I find kind of offputting that his sexualization happens almost exclusively extradiegetically. It's the camera leering, it's the clothes that, while really pretty and cool and interesting, do not actually inform us much about the character wearing them on screen, the behind-the-scenes tidbits that are just... not represented within the world of the game... And so, to me, where Girahim lands somewhere on the Bayonetta scale, TotK Ganon is kind of landing... I don't know, somewhere near "skimpy outfit worn by a character that would never wear something like this if given the choice, and the world doesn't ever question why she would and what that says about her"? I don't know if that makes sense, but, yeah. If you want him to seduce everyone, then. Do that. Make him active. Make him own that weird trait you decided to give him all of a sudden.

But again, given the game is deeply uninterested in Ganon as a person, but very interested as Ganon as an antagonistic object, it does end up feeling weirdly objectifying in that regard too.

[unholybacon355]

Kinktober Day 13 - Hirai Momo x M! Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Momo is hot as hell, there is no doubt about that. She always catches the eye with her spectacular body. Wherever she goes, always someone is turning her head to take a proper look at her. She’s hot and she knows it and embraces it. How could she not know it when is always receiving compliments?. She’s hot as fuck and you love it too.

There always was the discussion about if her big round ass or her large breast was her most desired body part. You always listened to people talking about that in the hallways or in the bathroom. Of course everybody wants to fuck Momo, she’s the it girl of the campus. And you want it too., but she’s out of your league. 

Yeah, she’s a gymnast and you are part of the football team, but she’s still so out of your league. This can’t be the classical sport romance because she’s very popular and no one pays attention to you. Yes you’re on the football team, but you aren’t really playing. You had been benched almost the entire season till today when the injuries of your teammates allowed you to finally jump to the field. 

You were really fine with that, at least touching the field was good for you. Damn you love this sport, but sadly you aren't that good at it. Otherwise you would be on the titular team. But sometimes people get lucky, maybe something moves in the universe to make a poor bastard like you happy once in a while just to keep things balanced. And you were the lucky one today when in the final minute of the game out of pure adrenaline rush you were able to sack the enemy quarterback on their own end zone, practically winning a tied game.

Immediately everybody was shouting your name and rising you to the sky. You were today's heroe. And that leads to where you are now. At the bedroom of someone that you don’t even know, with your pants around your knees and the girls of your dream half naked kneeling in front of you. 

This was one of the many parties to which you were dragged tonight. Of course everybody wants to have the hero at their party, and your captains were shure you that you attended every party around the campus that night. Till you ended up in this house, very drunk, and in some magic way crossing paths with Momo. She was kinda drunk too and for some reason was also very happy to meet the new college heroe. Maybe because beside her almost no one brings joy to this university in sports. Yes, she wasn't just hot but also a champion.

Then things are blurry in your memory. Maybe you were dragged into a drinking game, and maybe you also ended up doing that stupid “Seven minutes in heaven “ game with Momo, you are seriously too drunk to remember if that really happened. But if it happened probably that was what led to this. 

You were kissing Momo in the hallway on the second floor, and touching her in a very inappropriate way, when you kicked a random door and both entered the room, shutting the door behind you. Things quickly escalated but sadly you didn't have a single condom with you. Why would you have one if you aren't getting laid in the first place? So Momo decided to reward you with something special instead. That's why she was on her knees with her torso naked, and spitting on her tits to make them slippery.

At this very moment in your opinion the discussion about Momo’s tiddies versus her ass is finished. Her boobs were by far the biggest you had ever seen in person. They are like twoo fucking ships on the middle of the sea, moving at a discontinuous and not symmetric passe while Momo is spreading her saliva between them. One coming up when the other is coming down at the rhythm of her breath and hands. You were frankly amazed by the size of her breast. 

Momo bites her lower lips looking at you in a sexy but shy way. “I don’t do this with anyone.” And you knew that was true, there isn’t a single rumor about her sleeping with anyone or hooking up at parties. In fact you weren't sure if a sports strat like her was even attending these kinds of parties, and that made you feel even luckier. “But you seem to be nice.” That and also that both of you are very drunk right now. 

Momo wraps her fingers around your shaft stroking you and spreading her saliva over you too, that is until your dick is wet and shiny. You desperately need her to suck you, to feel her warm mouth around your meat, but instead your reward is another. Momo puts your shaft between her monumental tits and uses her hand to push them together. Her boobs are so big that your tip is barely visible over the crack of her cleavage. God, obviously her tits are better than her ass.  

And then the fun begins. Momo uses her hands to move her massive breasts up and down, sending you immediately to heaven. The feeling is amazing, your shaft is surrounded by the soften skiing ever had been. And her boobs are so soft that seem like you’re fucking cotton candy. You feel on the clouds.

“Does it feel good?” All you can elaborate as an answer is a moan because everything feels so amazing. To be honest you haven't had action in a while, so at this point everything should feel amazing. But you know this is different, you know that her tits are casting some kind of spell over you. Otherwise why is your shaft so hard right now? 

You’re praying for this to not be a dream. You're thanking the universe to allow you to make that play and end this night like this, with the girls of your dream stroking your dick with her tits. And Oh God! what a great job she’s doing. Momo’s hand never stops moving her boobs, maintaining your shaft sealed between them and maximizing your pleasure. All you can do is moan and look at her with a freshly discovered passion. 

Momo isn’t just hot as fuck but also so damn beautifull. Her delicate features  always capture your attention, and now seeing her with her mouth open spitting more saliva over her tits to maintain them lubricated,  feels like an extra reward to you. You don’t even want that blowjob anymore, that feels out of please now. It feels like an abuse of your luck to want something more from her, because this is already so amazing.

 Momo is panting with the effort of moving her tits up and down, and even like that she looks beautiful.  She is like an angel with big boobs, but still like an angel. Even with her tongue out to let her saliva drip over her tits she looks so damn beautiful in your eyes. Well, not for nothing she’s the most desired girl on the campus.

You let her do what she wants with your shaft, and obviously she has a lot of control over her body. After all she’s and gymnastic start, she clearly knows how to move her body and what to do with every single one of her muscles, and that includes her big boobs.The waves that her fat tits create over your dick, stimulating you to a new level of pleasure,  is more than you can mange. 

“I-I-I’m… Clo-Clooooseee.” You warn her but all what Momo does is increase the pace of her movement, and pushes her tits even closer together, sending you over the edge of your climax. Your dick spills thick ropes of semen over her breast, covering her entire chest with your white and sticky fluid. Flooding her big tits with your seed and making it even easier for her to milk you using your semen as lubricant too. You shoot your load over her massive boobs covering that beautifull mole on her left tiddie, and even drop your semen over her hard light tea big nipples.

“What a mess we made.” Momo said panting and giggling once she set free your shaft from the warm and soft embrace of her boobs. “Can you find me something to clean myself?” Add while trying to gather your semen with her hands but all what she is doing is just spreading it more over her chest. 

You are still amazed by what just happened. You can’t think straight like if you were in some kind of trance, and without realizing what you are doing you take off your shirt and you give it to her. After a few minutes her tits are clean and you put your shirt on again, now stained with your own milk. You’re still in a trance, still very drunk and in disbelief. 

You're thinking of asking for her number, maybe if you're lucky enough another kiss. But you also think this is already too much. In the end what would you pursue asking for her number? What more could obtain from her a drunk loser that is wearing a shirt stained with his fresh semen? But you still have to do it. If it isn't tonight when again would you have the chance to meet the most desired girl on the campus? Maybe the hotter and more desired girl in the entire city you correct yourself.

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 1 episode 1: 🎶who you gonna call🎶

I'M HERE I'm just gonna stop playing totk on thursdays (lie)

background!!

matt!!

matt's scandalous naked wrists

oh the spotlight

oh auggie's art is good

the unintroduced characters being in shadow is nice

I need anjali in period dress forever

I'd vote for him

maybe even….president…..

ashley's face sjdflks

"I just GOT HERE"

don't keep ice atronachs in your furnace

the art camera panning around a desk instead of just the fade-in

"tol hat"

"as I expected" rude

laura noticing the light on her and perking up

murder hand MURDER HAND

voice!

art!

that is the correct response

donald :(

not the swamp gas

"who are you >:["

auggie (ashley?): mark me down as scared AND horny

robbie and laura already gossiping

"candela's recruiting fetuses now?"

void stuff

auggie is surrounded by posh weird women and is utterly unable to enjoy it

"we ain't found SHIT"

howard's kind of a bitch

she said the thing

"imagination!"

force hands

CHARLIE

"I don't think that was charcoal"

familiar (derogatory)

"well let's go home" mood

the more arlo talks the more I love her voice

"auggie's education goes far beyond book smarts" I love charlie

"did you need some help pulling that stick out of your ass?" I also love auggie

auggie is reminding of my kid when we ask her one clarifying question too many

I don't mean this in any kind of negative way, it's a totally valid frustration

"trauma bonding" sdkfjsl

calling panic attacks brain marks from now on

deeply enjoying auggie vs howard

not a chair

"we need a distraction. I'll go :D"

I love matt's Dumb Guard voice

"I'd love to help but I'm off flirting"

"I'm not very good at seeing things that are here"

"this is wood" dlkfjsl

Ghost Donald

"are you okay" auggie.

"you're so warm" that's. not great.

charlie

"it's FINE 👿"

"ROLL THEM BONES"

"I know who you are charlotte" lmao rip

fuckin leila

donald no. have you tried consent.

laura picking apart no matter what game system they're in

tiny magic messenger pigeons

Abodeless Individuals

ghost hand GHOST HAND

fable npc voice

"you're a bit older than I remember" "yeah, that's what happens"

oh bless her

mala: the circle learns about poor people

I was about to say "r.j. maccready vibes" and then I Remembered

roll for vibes

I like charlie as a bridge between the classes, as it were

"what's so funny?" "usually doctors are useful"

"rikers over it"

"sorry about the laughing at you" (lie)

howard has a death note

unecessary parkour

that one bit from arcane

can't wait for this ride at critical role land

"the children" howard

"help him, doctor!" AUGGIE

I'm a DOCTOR but not THAT kind of doctor I have a DOCTORATE but you can't HELP people with a DOCTORATE you just SIT THERE and you're USELESS

I may have seen treasure planet one too many times

this music is a+

charlie I don't know what you expected

mala: you're not his real mom

"I don't like the way you said 'great'"

oh ow

miroku

is this going to be the equivalent of trying to drive stick

"NO my sweet student"

not the final destination

fuck! all fails

vax get back in your own game

"you did it to yourself!"

mala: Matt: good rp. suffer more

"did it work?" "no! :D"

arlo and howard are A Pair of Characters

any time ashley does that half-lean shrug question thing

The Food Of Our Woes

hungry hungry ghosties

"you're bleeding out of your head"

not the chetney noises

oh shit

rip auggie

everybody keeps forgetting they can roll again

"SPOILER ALERT"

"leave it up to fate - no that's stupid"

robbie's so into this sdlkfjnls

old as balls

eddie? whomst?

"the gilded rainbow" gay as shit

"we were part of an industrial accident" swamp gas

:(

"I crashed a truck into a building! it didn't work!"

"there's a reason he's a professor" it's bc he's a bitch

"don't set it on fire"

"your club tried to kill me, not sure if want"

in a few hours the sun will rise

gay

ah the true fantasy setting - free rent

"I slathered a nice man up" hate it

acted bizzare

they got a good grade at ttrpg

oh I love arlo

of course it's doc cochran

I heard the "mmmmakinmway" in my head

[raviolism9]

DO YOU ENJOY SPITING PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING ANNOYING? DO YOU ENJOY SUPPORTING YOUNG ARTISTS? THEN KEEP READING!

Here's the tea. (If you don't want the tea & want to skip to how to help, get to the bottom/middle. And if you see this post, PLEASE repost it to spread it around.)

I am in my school's drama club. There is a certain person in the drama club with control issues. She complains about doing all of the work & carrying the club on her back, when she doesn't let anybody else help her with work & there are in fact MANY other people working & helping ensure the club's plays & musicals go well. When multiple people confronted her about this problem, she started arguing with everybody even though there was not one person that agreed with her. She ended the fight with posting a list of all of the things she "needed to do for Drama Club." MOST of these things were extremely small & were finished almost at the very beginning of the school year (but were not checked off the list for some reason), but there was one big thing that we had not done on that list: We have not had a fundraiser.

Drama club is poor. Our school is VERY in debt. So both to support my school & spite the person in the club & make her quit her whining, I am going to do art comissions to help with fundraising money for our club and out of spite to prove this person wrong & clear something off of HER to-do list. Here's how it's going to work.

These are my Little Guys™. (Little Shop of Horrors Edition, because it's the best example I have!) I will be drawing these Little Guys for $20 per person I draw. HALF OF THE MONEY I MAKE OFF OF THESE LITTLE GUYS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO THE DRAMA CLUB'S MUSICAL FUNDING. (Ex. For every 10 drawings, Drama Club will gain $100!)

I WILL draw...

People, humanoids, animals, furries & therians, pretty much ALMOST any species as long as their design isn't stupidly complicated (see exception below)

OCs AND characters from books/movies/shows/games (once again, see exception below)

Different types of posing! Standing, sitting, picking their nose, whatever idc just show me a picture

Backgrounds! "Advanced"/detailed backgrounds will be an extra $5 because I hate drawing them, but simpler backgrounds (ex. solid or gradient colors, patterns like spots, stripes, certain shapes, etc.) will be absolutely free!

I WILL NOT draw...

Satanic/demonic characters or signs. I am perfectly okay with drawing most deities, gods & goddesses from other beliefs & religions (for example, I LOVE Epic the Musical, so I draw Greek gods ALL the time), but for the sake of my own personal religious beliefs I REFUSE to draw any demons, evil eyes, pentagrams, zodiac stuff, or ANYTHING related to Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss under ANY circumstances. There are ZERO exceptions.

I am also a minor. NSFW will not be tolerated. This includes major blood/gore (a little bit of blood & stuff is fine; if you don't know how much is allowed, send me a picture & I'll tell you if I'm okay with it), naked people & bombayahs (AKA p0rn).

Foreshadowing. I know this limits my art to an extent, but the basic frontal view perspective is the only one I will be doing. Sorry guys :(

Extremely complicated designs for things like machinery, weaponry, clothes/armor, etc.. Again, if you don't know if something would be considered "too" complicated, please don't be afraid to ask me & send a picture of what you want!! I'll happily let you know :D

I will not draw anything for you if you do not provide proper credit where it's due. Tumblr is usually great with this, but just in case, please provide credit to me via my username and/or a link to THIS very post so I can get more attention to my cause if you post the art you get anywhere or use it as a profile picture or smth. Or if you use it for AI. If I see any of my art being used for AI, I will personally find you & make your life as miserable as possible.

How do you request art & payment?

Tumblr would work, but the BEST WAY for comms to be requested for me would be on Discord. Send me a friend request to ravism9 (the one with the Sonic pfp); I'll accept it as soon as I see it! I only accept payment via my mom's PayPal at the moment; further details will be discussed in DMs.

Tumblr, I NEED your help with this. Y'all are the best people I know suited to not only help an artist with a cause, but to help people just to spite people who very much so deserve it. If you can't or don't want to buy art, PLEASE AT LEAST SPREAD THIS POST AROUND FOR OTHERS TO SEE. My goal is to at least get 10 drawings done (raise $100); but even more would be awesome too. If you can help or spread this around in any way, thank you so so much. I need to be able to do this preferably by middle or end of January; but honestly anything at any time would be highly appreciated.

Thank you all for your time. Have a blessed day, love y'all 💖

-Leeza

[itgirlification]

supermodel | jjk

the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.

pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader

warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.

now playing: supermodel by sza

part two part three

Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.

Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?

Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.

It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.

You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.

Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.

Fucking great.

That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.

While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.

“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”

Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.

She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.

“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”

Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.

“Where?”, your question was short.

“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”

You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.

You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...

‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’

You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.

You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?

You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.

You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.

“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.

“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”

__________

“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”

You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.

“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”

She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”

You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”

You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?

Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.

“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”

The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”

Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.

The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.

‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.

You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.

‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?

Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’

About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.

“Woah, yn, you okay?”

You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.

Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.

“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”

You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”

Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”

She put the magazine aside.

“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”

Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”

“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”

Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”

“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”

You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.

“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”

You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”

The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.

“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”

To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.

“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.

_______

it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.

Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.

You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.

Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.

Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.

“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.

“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”

“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”

You shook your head no.

“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”

You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”

“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”

Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.

“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”

After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.

A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.

But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than

“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“

At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.

You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.

“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.

Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.

He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.

“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.

It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.

Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.

Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.

This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.

You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.

Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.

You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.

“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.

You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.

He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.

Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.

Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.

Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.

The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.

Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.

“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”

You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.

The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.

You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.

While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.

“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.

So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.

“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.

“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.

He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.

“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”

You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.

Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.

You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.

Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.

Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.

With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.

It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.

You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.

You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.

Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.

Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.

For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.

You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.

All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.

He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”

He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.

“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”

There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.

You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”

You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.

“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”

He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.

“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.

Without looking back, he left.

And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.

[nessinborderland]

The Games We Play

Pairing: Niragi x Reader x Chishiya

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: You have been playing with them for long enough. They want to win the game.

Warnings: Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Dubious Consent, Double Penetration, Threesome - F/M/M, Voyeurism, Shower Sex, Overstimulation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Creampie, Cum Eating, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot

Notes: One-shot based on these two submissions:

Anonymous said: okay so first I love your imagines sm!!! your writing its so good and second I was wondering if u could do a chishiya x niragi × brat reader plsss😳👉🏻👈🏻 

Anonymous said: Do you think that you could maybe write something where fem!reader keeps rejecting Niragi and Chishiya (bc she's playing hard to get and likes watching them compete for her) and Niragi and Chishiya find out and corner her, which leads to a steamy threesome shdhfhgkYou don't have to write it if you don't want to! You're doing amazing and I love love loooove your writing! Keep up the great work, and remember to take care of yourself too!! 💜💜

Is this any good? No idea, you let me know ahaha.

You always liked the attention people give you. Men, women, or in between, you have a way to draw people to you. You don't even do it on purpose; it just happens. There is always someone wanting to sleep with you, or take you on a date, or introduce you to their parents. But you don't want any of that. You just like the attention, to see people competing for your affection. It makes you feel desired. It makes you feel important.

You love it; you crave it.

It's no different when you find yourself in the Borderlands and at the Beach. People still try to get your attention. Some had even tried to take you against your will, more than once. But you know what you're doing; you are prepared for that kind of thing. It also helps that someone always has your back.

More specifically: two men. Men that you are more than just interested in. You had caught their attention too, right in the first few days of you being there. And, just like the others, you played with them. You acted interested in one moment, uninterested the next.

They are so different but so alike at the same time; two sides of the same coin. One is darkness, the other is light; one is fire, the other is ice; one lures you in with seduction, the other with mystery. Both beautiful, both dangerous.

You want them; you really really do. But you also love playing games. And oh, you play them well. It's so much fun, seeing them compete for you. They are both too proud to do something that will downright demonstrate their interest in you, but you know. You always know.

When Niragi passed you by the pool, eyes lingering on your body like a starved wolf, you could tell. When everybody else seemed afraid to get close to you, you knew that was his doing. When he approached you at the club, hands on your hips and pierced tongue on your neck, that was a sign clear as day. He wants you as much as you want him. 

Things hadn’t been that different with Chishiya. The way he talked to you, silver tongue ready to manipulate you, whispering sweet things in your ear as his fingers brushed against your naked arm; you knew what he wanted then. When he showed off at games, using his intelligence to win; you knew he wasn’t just trying to win the game. 

But, like so many others before them, you pushed them away and faked disinterest. 

You want to see where you can push them. It's mostly curiosity on your part; will they give up? Snap? Fight each other to death? You are dying to know.

And it seems like you are getting your answer tonight.

“Good evening, gentleman,” you greet them as you close your bedroom door. You weren’t expecting them, but you also can’t say you are fully surprised. “I think you’re in the wrong room.” 

You just observe them when neither of them says a word. Niragi is leaning against a wall, arms crossed as he looks at you with fire in his eyes; if lust, anger, or a mix of both, you can’t tell. Chishiya sits at the end of your bed, leaning back on his hands as he also gazes at you. He was always a hard man to read; tonight is no different. 

You should be afraid; you should. But there is no reason to be when this is pretty close to what you desire. When they keep quiet, you go around your room as if they aren’t there. You ignore them, as you so masterfully do in every other situation. You can feel their eyes on you, burning the skin as you make your way to the bathroom, leaving the door open. You can hear footsteps as Niragi gets closer. 

“Niragi, be a dear and get me my towel, yes?” you ask in a soft tone, turning your back to him as you slowly start to undress. You look over your shoulder when he just stands there, leaning against the threshold as his eyes take in your curves. “See something you like?”

“Plenty…” is all he says, pierced tongue showing in between his teeth to lick his bottom lip. Chishiya chooses that moment to appear, your towel in hand. You smile at him as you take the cloth, making sure your fingers brush against his. 

“Ah, thank you, handsome,” you say, lips widening in a soft smile in his direction. He smirks in response, eyes glued to your naked chest as he stands there next to Niragi. You turn around and get into the shower box, turning on the faucet. You gasp as the cold water hits your warm skin, exaggerating your reaction for them. 

You wonder how much longer they will control themselves. You can feel yourself getting wet from anticipation, and you brush your thighs together without even realizing it. You control the want to look over your shoulder, wondering what is taking them so long. You can hear their murmurs as they speak between them, the stream of water falling on your head making it hard for you to distinguish words. 

Then you feel warm hands on your hips, soft but firm. 

“You know, kitten,” Niragi’s voice on your ear is mistakenly sweet, like bitter chocolate. You don’t mind a little bitterness. “I think you have been playing with us for way too long…” His hands go up to cup your breasts, large palms pushing them up. You’re forced to bump against his chest, a shiver running down your spine when you feel his naked skin against yours. His hard erection brushes against your ass, making you gasp. He laughs, “I wanted to do things my way, but Chishiya here had a plan I just couldn’t resist. So here we are.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say in a confused tone. You turn around to face him, glancing at Chishiya, still by the door, “What do you mean I’ve been playing with you?” you turn your head to the side, giving them your best impression of puppy-eyes. Now is Chishiya’s time to laugh.

“Oh, you’re infuriatingly beautiful,” he says without a change of expression. “We know what your game is. Honestly, it took me some time to understand exactly what your moves were, but I know I can win now. We can win now.”

“It never crossed my mind that you liked to share,” you let your mask fall, and Chishiya’s smirk grows wider. “C’mon, you can’t blame a girl for being curious. I get bored easily.” Niragi huffs out a laugh, giving you a light spank to your backside.

“Something tells me we’re gonna have a lot of fun together,” he says in your ear, before turning you completely towards Chishiya. “I’m sure you don’t mind that I fuck her first, do you?” 

“Nah, I like to watch.” is Chishiya’s shrugged response, “Just don’t tire her too much; I have some plans for her too.”

Your hand snaps to grab Niragi’s hair, and you pull a strand as you force his head down. “I think you’re being way too confident,” you say against his cheek. “I haven’t given any of you my consent.” his hands proceed to grab your neck, pressuring just enough to make you want to cough.

“Fortunately for me,” he starts, “I didn’t ask for your consent.” you yelp as he forces your head to the side, licking your wet skin from chest to ear. He hums in approval, “Your skin tastes good,” the hand still on your chest slides down your belly to the apex of your thighs, “I wonder what more of you is sweet…”

Your body shivers and you close your eyes as he starts fingering you under the hot stream of water. Your shivers don’t come from fear but pleasure, as you try to contain your moans to not give them the satisfaction. This is your game, after all. Niragi’s fingers are long and slim inside you, two digits thrusting in and out as his thumb plays with your clit. He rubs against you from behind, cock nestled between your ass cheeks as he tries to get some friction. His other hand lifts your thigh off the ground, giving Chishiya a nice view of your stuffed pussy.

“Add another one,” Chishiya’s words make you open your eyes. You moan as you take in his state of undress, fisting his engorged cock as he watches you through half-lidded eyes. You clench around Niragi’s fingers, making him chuckle.

“Fuck that, I think she’s ready for something bigger,” he says as he pushes you against the shower wall. He shoves himself inside you with a grunt, and you whimper at the stretching sensation. “Do you like that, you little slut?” Niragi asks with a bite to your earlobe as he makes you take his cock inch by inch.

“I– I’ve had bigger,” is all you manage to say. Your words clearly affect him. He tilts your hips further up and – with so much force that you scream – fills you to the brim with a slap of his pelvis against your ass. You can faintly hear Chishiya say something, but you’re too focused on the pleasure and pain at your core as Niragi starts to move, stretching you further with each thrust. You’re moaning freely not long after, slowly sliding down the shower wall as you try not to lose your balance, your orgasm so close to making you fall apart. Niragi’s hands keep you up as he uses you, fucking you relentlessly as he grunts filthy things in your ear; things that only make you clench harder around him. 

“That’s it, kitten…” his words are followed by a firm thrust, making you whine. He takes that opportunity to put two fingers inside your mouth, pressuring your tongue in a clear order to suck on them. You suck on his digits the best you can, faintly tasting yourself as those same fingers were inside your cunt not long ago. He moans then, and you can feel him close to orgasm. “I’m gonna fill you up so good, you’ll be leaking with my cum for days,” you clench around him again and he chuckles, his thrusts getting more erratic and his grip tighter on your flesh, “No one will want to fuck you then, except me–”

“– And me,” Chishiya says in a deep voice. You look to the side to see him still stroking himself, long, slow gestures as beads of precum glow on the tip. You moan further around Niragi’s fingers, imagining that it's Chishiya’s thick cock instead. The pressure in your core grows, but never enough for you to come. You grunt in frustration, and Chishiya lets out a huffed laugh. “You should let her come, she’s getting desperate.”

“She can come after I fill her up,” Niragi answers with a hard slap to your ass. You jolt forward with a yelp, but he ignores you as he keeps impaling you on his cock. “Shit, I’m so close…” his mouth goes to your shoulder, and you feel his teeth on your skin.

“N– no,” you faintly say, pushing your hips against his in a pathetic attempt of shoving him off of you, “Not inside, get off.” He ignores your words, and you feel warmth in your core as he comes right after, fucking you through his orgasm as you milk him dry. You whimper when he pulls out, feeling immediately when his cum oozes out of you and starts sliding down your thighs. You keep your forehead pressed against the shower wall, regaining your breath as your legs shake. 

You feel sore, but you also feel electrified. You want more, and you know you’ll get it. You gasp when Niragi abruptly pulls you into a kiss, teeth nibbling on your bottom lip and tongue pressing against the back of your throat before he lets you go.

“She’s all yours,” he says to Chishiya before sliding out of the shower and drying himself on your towel. You just look at the other man, waiting for him to make the first move. Niragi sends you a look before approaching you again and involving you in your towel. He passes by Chishiya, dropping you on the bed before laying beside you, back against the headboard and arms crossed behind his head. “Let’s go, I don’t have all night.”

Chishiya gets closer, steps slow but determined. His eyes remind you of a cat on a hunt. It only makes the fire in your core come back ten times stronger. You keep your gaze locked on him as he gets closer, stopping by the foot of the bed before glancing at Niragi.

“Are you just going to watch?” he asks, mattress sinking under his weight as he gets on the bed. “Or you want to join?” his words make you clench around nothing, a moan escaping your lips as you imagine all the things they can do to you; at the same time. Both men snicker at your reaction, and Niragi promptly pulls you against his chest.

“Let’s see what you have in mind for her, first,” he says with a squeeze to your tit, “But I wouldn’t mind making her beg.”

“Good luck making me beg for anything,” you retort, a smirk playing on your lips.

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” Chishiya says as he gets closer, hand sliding up your leg. His touch makes you shiver, and his next words make you whimper, “Keep her wide open for me. Let’s see how long it takes until she’s begging.”

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” you repeat his words back to him. He smirks, exchanging a look with the man behind you. You gasp when Niragi grips your thighs, folding them against your body. Your pussy is in full view now, open and glistening with your mixed cum. Chishiya licks his lips as he sets himself in-between your legs, hot breath tickling your swollen clit. You gaze at him through half-lidded eyes, expecting the moment when he finally touches you with his lips.

His fingers touch you instead, going up your slit as he gathers the cum from your skin. You just look, entranced as he licks his fingers clean with a hmm of approval. You moan at the sight at the same time Niragi grunts behind you, whispering out a curse before you feel him grind on you. 

Chishiya is back at your cunt, and this time wastes no time in latching his lips on your clit, making you arch your back with a whine. You try to close your thighs on a reflex, but Niragi’s strong hands stop you from doing it, pressing your legs further against your body. So you just hear yourself get louder as Chishiya works wonders on your pussy, either by sucking on you or fucking you with his tongue. The slurping noises as he eats you out only make it worse, and you can’t control yourself from fisting his hair, forcing his face further against your pussy as you move your hips in unison with his licks. The man behind you fills your neck with licks and bites, telling you in detail of his plans to fuck you in every room of the Beach, as he grinds on your ass. Fuck, you want him inside you. This is all too much. You desperately want to come.

“Don’t stop,” you cry out after a particularly good flick of Chishiya’s tongue against your sensitive bud. Your legs shake, and your core burns from the impending orgasm, so close but not close enough, “Don’t you dare stop, I’m so close…”

He stops. Of course he does. You let out a frustrated whine as he pulls away from you with a last lick to your folds. He licks his glistening lips with a satisfied grin, before grabbing you by the chin, pressing his lips to yours in a strangely soft kiss. He hums before looking at Niragi with a raised brow.

“Did that sound like begging to you?” he asks in a fake inquisitional tone. 

“No, it did not.” Niragi laughs, shaking his head, “Guess we’ll have to give it to her harder.”

“I would like to see you try,” is all you say before grabbing Chishiya by the shoulders and pushing him down on the bed, straddling his hips. You both moan as you swiftly impale yourself on his shaft, moving your hips as he starts bucking into you. His hands go to your hips, keeping you at his desired pace. You throw your head back, feeling him inside you as he pleasurably touches your g-spot with each thrust. You’re about to slide your hand down to your clit – desperate to ease that hot pressure within you – when a hand stops you.

“Nobody said you could touch yourself, kitten,” Niragi says in your ear, hand sliding up your back. You yelp when he pushes you against Chishiya’s chest, his other hand tilting your hips up. The man beneath you keeps fucking you as if nothing happened, eyes locked on the man behind you. You gasp when you feel Niragi’s fingers over your asshole, realizing what his plan is a little too late. You jolt forward with a cry when you feel one of his fingers penetrate your tight ring, carefully at first until he tries to push in another. You freeze for a moment at the sensation of fullness, and you wonder if you can take more of him. 

“Relax, honey,” Chishiya says as he slows down his thrusts, hand raising to cradle your face as you moan from both discomfort and pleasure, “Focus on me.” you do as he says, relaxing your lower muscles until all you can feel in the amazing sensations they provide inside both your holes. 

That doesn’t stop you from crying out when Niragi starts penetrating your tight hole with his cock, inch by inch until he’s fully inside. You keep your mouth open in a constant moan as they both start to fuck you. You have never felt so full in your life. So unbelievably, deliciously stretched. You can barely think, letting them use your body as they see fit. You’re beyond caring, feeling your orgasm closer and closer, as they touch every spot inside you that makes you moan, cry and whine at each thrust. Your pleads to come are nothing but mumbled words that neither of them seems to hear. It’s exhilarating.

“Please– please,” is all you manage to say.

“Please what, kitten?” Niragi says with a grunt, followed by a hard spank to your ass. That makes you clench around them both, only making them fasten their thrusts. You shake your head, burying your face on Chishiya’s neck.

“All you have to do is ask us nicely, honey,” he says with a kiss to your temple. You weakly shake your head, biting your lips in a failed attempt to keep quiet. They should be the ones begging, not you.

But you can’t. Not when you feel so full, so stretched by those two men. You should’ve fucked them a long time ago, have you in control. But like this, with both teaming up to make a mess of your mind and body, it’s impossible. 

Someone’s fingers flick against your clit, and you whine in response to the touch, pushing your hips as best you can against those fingers. Mission close to impossible when there are two cocks inside you, their bodies keeping you trapped and practically unable to move. So you allow yourself to be as vocal as you want. Then the touch stops. Then it proceeds again, just to stop once more. You feel like crying. This is too much.

“Please– please let me come, please!” you finally say the words they want to hear. The hand on your clit fastens and so do their thrusts. Yes, just like that. You come so hard your scream in ecstasy, sparks of white blurring your vision as your body spasms, pussy clenching in a vice grip around their cocks. You let yourself relax, too tired and blind by your orgasm to move.

You feel when Niragi comes right after, hips slapping against your ass as he fills you up with his cum for the second time that night. He keeps rocking against you before he stays still and pulls out from your hole. You whine at the emptiness he leaves behind, his cum already sliding out of you. Chishiya is next, rolling you on your back as he comes in you, stuffing your already filled pussy with even more cum.

You’re a panting mess as he too pulls out before laying down beside you. You don’t have the strength to close your legs, too sore and sensitive to even give it much thought. Your eyes flutter close as you try to calm down your heartbeat. All you want now is a hot bath and a long nap.

“Ready for round two?” you hear Chishiya’s panting question. That makes you open your eyes, staring at the men on each side of you. They both look satisfied, Niragi is back to leaning against the headboard as Chishiya stares at you with a glint in his eyes.

“Nah, she’s all yours,” is Niragi’s tired answer. “I’ll just watch this time.” Chishiya’s smirk widens.

“More for me then,” he says before covering your body with his. You gasp, surprised by his advances. What can he possibly be planning? You don’t think you have it in you for more. He notices your expression, before leaning to kiss your breast, hand sliding down your body with feathery touches. “I told you I was going to make you beg,” his eyes are locked on you as he goes down your body. He stops by your mound, pressing a kiss to your clit, making you gasp from oversensitivity. “You begged me to come...now you will beg me to stop.”

[a-froger-epic]

Get out your glitter leotards and pour some champagne in your cat mugs! 🥂 🍾 It’s time to celebrate Freddie! 🎉😸

🎊 Freddie Mercury Weekend 2021 🎊

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

ABOUT THE EVENT

This weekend is a content creation event in honour of the man himself, the legend we all love, Freddie Mercury! Once more, everyone who is inspired by Freddie is invited to share their creativity with the fandom. You can write, draw, edit, record, even cross-stitch 😉 content for absolutely anything related to Freddie, any ship, any genre, any way you like. This is an indiscriminately inclusive, positive event. Everyone is welcome, there is no wrong way to be a fan of Freddie! (Except convincing yourself you're dating his ghost maybe. That's pretty wrong. And weird. Don't do that.)

WHEN? On the 21st, 22nd and 23rd of May.

HOW? On the above dates (or after!), post your contributions to the AO3 collection or alternatively on Tumblr, tagged ‘#fmw2021’ or/and ‘#freddie mercury weekend 2021’. If you post on Tumblr, please also tag @a-froger-epic to make sure you get a reblog from me!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

THE PROMPTS

You can be as free with the prompts as you like. They are here to inspire, there is no wrong way to write them! Change them around, mix them up, make them fem!Freddie, A/B/O, add your favourite ship. Anything goes! 😊

21st of May - 500-1000 word challenge!

We’re kicking off the event with ficlets and drabbles. First time writer just testing the waters? No need for an epic, just write a scene! No time to write but you want to participate? Surely you’ll find time for 500 words! 😉 Interpret these mini-prompts however you like (every one is a separate prompt, but you can combine them!):

Make-Up 💄   |   Pain/Pleasure 👀

Strip 👕   |   Ring 💍

Forbidden 🤫   |   Delilah 🐈

Piano 🎹   |   Dormitory 🛏 

Outrageous 🎉   |   Contentment 😌

Come Together 🎇   |   Ballet 🩰

Piece of Art 🎨   |   Leather 🧥

Cockring 🐔   |   Kimono 👘

Petals 🌸   |   Leotard 🕺🏻

Mustache 🧔   |   Last Time 😔

22nd of May - Is This The Real Life? 

A list of real event/canon timeline prompts from Freddie’s life. How real you want to keep them, however, is entirely up to you!

Down in flames

Freddie is 16 years old when he leaves boarding school. Does it have something to do with the school gardener, Sanjay? Did he flunk his exams or did he not even sit them? Is one thing connected to the other? Does he really find a boyfriend when he goes to stay with his aunt in Mumbai (then Bombay)? Either way, there’s the small matter of his parents finding out about all of it... (Sources: x x )

When Freddie met Kenny

Freddie is a guest on Kenny Everett's radio show in spring 1974. Freddie is living with Mary, Kenny is married. Two gay men, deep in the closet. To no one's surprise, they hit it off immediately. (Source: x )

But when did he? 

At some point during his relationship with Mary, prior to his relationship with David, Freddie had already begun sleeping with men. But how and when did that first happen? Cottaging in London? On tour somewhere in the world? Your guess is as good as ours… 

Flying High

Sex, Drugs and Rock n' Roll. Like all rock bands of their time, Queen doesn’t escape the copious amounts of cocaine in the entertainment industry for long. Somewhere on tour in America, perhaps, Freddie is first introduced to it. Where? How? 

Hide your tears

Jim said that he tried to be strong for Freddie and only cried in private, so as not to burden Freddie with his feelings. But this time, he is found. 

One-liners:

In 1969, Freddie doesn’t know how to cook an egg and neither does Roger (Source: x )

In 1977, Freddie meets Joe while on tour in Boston and starts dating him behind David's back

In 1990, Brian and Freddie work on 'The Show Must Go On' (Source: x )

In a year of your choice, Jim reminisces about his fondest moment(s) with Freddie

In 1976, Freddie and Mary end their relationship 

In 1984, Winnie gives Freddie a wedding ring (middle of the post: x )

In the late 60s, Freddie agrees to model for an Ealing Art School fashion show, but panics and flees the runway (Source: x )

In 1974, Freddie is strip-searched upon arrival in Australia (Source: x )

In 1982, Freddie and Roger go shopping in Amsterdam (Source: x )

In 1978, Freddie swings from a chandelier - naked (Source: x )

23rd of May - Is It Just Fantasy?

A list of AU prompts to spark your imagination. Take them and run with them or change them up, just have fun!

Make your dreams come true

Freddie hasn't been very fortunate in his life, until he finds a very special oil lamp, and rubs it just the right way. 

Beautiful stranger

Freddie meets an alluring stranger at a masquerade ball, who has more secrets than he can hide behind a mask. But Freddie has some of his own. 

Thicker than water 

Freddie agrees to a dreadful fate in order to save his little sister from the very same. Fortunately, he has friends who are more than willing to help him, but can they? Or are they, too, in danger?

Diamonds are a boy's best friend

Freddie is the prized jewel of the court, a skilled belly-dancer and entertainer, but he may also be plotting murder and getting away with it. 

Almost Real

In a distant future, humans have all but done away with face to face interaction. Humanity largely lives online. Children grow up isolated and live with only their families well into young adulthood. Cybersex is the new normal, although some families take a puritanical approach for fear of addiction. One day, impossibly, a real life young man falls through the containment field in Freddie’s back garden. 

One-liners:

This plane is going to crash (Freddie knew there was a reason he hated flying) 

Shipwrecked on an island (Freddie could never bear to be alone, but luckily/unfortunately for him…) 

Hunger Games AU (Freddie is so dead) 

A terrible road accident (Everyone is so dead, or are they?) 

Blind Date AU (Freddie's best friend is so dead for setting him up with this person… or are they…) 

Bank robbery (but who are the robbers and who are the hostages?) 

Magic AU ("Yer a wizard, Freddie!")

Film Noir AU (Secrets and cigarette holders) 

Interior Design AU (Does the carpet match the drapes?)

The Bodyguard AU (“And I will always love yooouuuu…”)

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

RULES & FAQ

⛔ Strictly No Hate ⛔

This is the NUMBER ONE RULE of the event, to ensure that everybody feels safe. No rudeness, provocations or hate aimed at creators or other commenters will be permitted, not on AO3 nor Tumblr.

Follow these steps if you receive a comment or ask that distresses you:

Do not engage. (You can take a screenshot as proof.)

Delete it. No ifs, no buts. Just delete it. (Don’t hesitate to block anon hate on Tumblr.)

Alert me ( @a-froger-epic ) or @aboutnothingness, who is lending me a hand to make sure all needs are attended, all questions are answered and everything runs smoothly. We are here to actively support you. We’ve got your back, and we will gladly talk to you and help you feel better.

If you choose to ignore this rule, your work may be removed from the event. We would hate to resort to that.

But what if one of the works has upset me?

Can the thing that upset you be tagged, but it wasn’t? Then please inform @a-froger-epic or @aboutnothingness, and we will bring it to the creator’s attention. (Remember to use the appropriate tags, everybody!)

Was the thing that upset you already tagged? Or is it perhaps simply the characterisation you find disagreeable? Then we suggest you click on the ‘back’ button, take a deep breath and remind yourself it's just fanfic.

Who can participate?

Anyone who is inspired by Freddie Mercury in any way shape or form. This event is open to all.

Can I combine prompts from different days?

By all means! We look forward to your futuristic Freddie-gets-kicked-out-of-boarding-school Maycury Film Noir AU. With leotards. Go crazy.

I'm not sure where my creation fits in, what day do I post it? 

The days, like the prompts, are only suggestions. We don't mind when you post it, as long as you post it! Even if it's two weeks late! 

Help, I've never posted fic before! 

Don't worry, we've got you! (And more importantly, we've got AO3 invites!) @aboutnothingness is more than happy to walk you through the process of setting up an account and is also offering her services as a beta.

I’m still too nervous to participate!

You can post anonymously to the collection. You can disable anon comments on your work. You can disable comments entirely and just collect the kudos. You can close anon asks on Tumblr temporarily. But most importantly, we are here for you and we want you here!

❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜

“I love the fact that I make people happy, in any form. Even if it’s just half an hour of their lives, in any way that I can make them feel lucky or make them feel good, or bring a smile to a sour face, that to me is worthwhile.”

- Freddie Mercury

[consumeconstantly]

Lady Cross (first aid)

Summary: Somehow, Marinette always ends up biting off more than she can chew. It started off with a kid and a nasty gash on their knee. The sudden escalation to treating the new head of Gotham’s underworld? It can only be explained by the fact that she’s catnip for trouble. 

_____________________________________________

Marinette supposed she should have expected something like this to happen eventually.

Really, she patches up a few street kids and offers a meal and some resources and suddenly she's made a name for herself in the slums of Gotham. It’s not like she’s doing anything revolutionary. Well, okay, maybe she does cheat a little bit and uses her healing powers on a few of the tougher cases that really should have been out of her realm of expertise, but she’s living near the slums of Gotham for a reason. That reason being Marinette is just a little broke and can’t really afford to send everyone she comes across to the hospital, and the people who are injured certainly can’t. It’s not like she can leave them to die. That would be heartless.

When she stopped treating scrapes and cuts for kids on the streets as she came across them and instead found her apartment balcony frequented by families who needed her help, she couldn’t just say no. And so, more and more serious wounds started coming in. Kids brought their parents and friends. The parents and friends brought... well, if the police stopped by her apartment any time soon, she’s fairly certain they’d have a field day.

But again, it’s not like she’s going to turn these people into the police when they’ve come to her for help and have a small army of people who swear up and down that they’re good people and only doing what they have to do in order to get by.

Morality comes in such a variety of shades, who was she to judge? Ladybug and Marinette have both certainly had their fair share of mistakes that they’d gladly go back in time to rectify, and her hands weren’t clean of blood either. Sure, the Miraculous Cure may have brought people back, but their deaths were still on her. And Hawkmoth? Yeah, he’s alive now, but she hammered him into the pavement after dropping him from the top of the Eiffel tower, and she’s not going to pretend that she didn’t take a bit of morbid joy in that moment.

But back to the matter at hand. Which was, the notorious Red Hood—responsible for a coup amongst Gotham’s drug dealers and responsible for taking down a man whose morality truly vanished with the wind, Black Mask himself— was currently bleeding out on her second floor balcony, smoking a cigarette and lounging against the rail like he owned the place. 

“Lady Cross,” he inclined his head.

“Red Hood,” Marinette returned his greeting.

God, she really didn’t want to get involved with Red Hood. She wasn’t opposed to helping out street thugs and criminals, but Red Hood was a different league. He seemed to be a fairly decent guy, ensuring that kids weren’t dealt drugs and tried to keep them out of the circuit as much as possible. He took down plenty of worse criminals while he was at it. In fact, Marinette would go so far to say the Red Hood as one the good guys.

But the issue was, once she started treating people of a certain level, she’d be open game. And that didn’t seem very enticing to her. Not at all. Everyone knew that Red Hood had beef with the Bat Family for some reason or other, and also made enemies with almost every single rogue in Gotham, and a good number of enemies outside of it as well. Basically, Red Hood was a universal enemy of both the vigilantes and rogues. Someone she shouldn’t get involved with while she was trying to investigate the darkness surrounding Gotham whole running her online boutique and going to college at Gotham University.

Unfortunately, Tom and Sabine and her own stint as Ladybug taught her that she could never ignore someone in need. Marinette sighed and slid the mesh open, leading Red Hood to her living room. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Real nice place you got here,” he said.

With the mask covering the whole of his face, Marinette had no facial expressions to figure out whether he was poking fun at her current living situation or not. His voice sounded genuine, but vocal emotions were easy to fake.

The apartment she was living in was not on the nice side of town. There were three bullet holes in the wall between her living room and bedroom that she just didn’t have time to patch up, some pretty nasty looking stains on the ceiling near her kitchen, and a huge, spray painted red cross on one of her walls, which was where her street name derived from. Her floor and coffee table were also in states of disarray; she hadn’t gotten the opportunity to clean up after working on two commissions and the last guest whose wounds were heavy enough to warrant several rolls of gauze, which was now half stuffed into a garbage can sitting next to rolls of fabric. Perhaps not the neatest or most sanitary situation, but she didn’t have time to clean up before every single one of her unexpected guests came in.

Look, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t have time to fix things up real nice and neat. She’d only been living in the apartment for a month and a half, and most times, she barely spent any time in it other than to sleep, cram last minute projects for her design course, or to help heal people. Her living situation wasn’t the biggest of worries.

“Sit,” Marinette gestured to the one of the few pieces of furniture that she specifically bought for the apartment. She didn’t mind the stained, half broken, and extremely creaky couch the last owners left behind for the first week, but after she started bringing back her first… visitors, it seemed important that the couch was comfortable, sturdy, and most crucially, cleanable.

Rummaging through a cabinet, she pulled out a tattered briefcase she thrifted a while back to keep all of her medical supplies in. Not the prettiest of things, but she tried not to keep expensive looking items in her apartment because she wasn’t a fan of getting mugged. The medicine she kept was already expensive enough, she didn’t need to attract everyone’s attention by owning one of those metal containers used in hospitals. Even though most of the people who dropped by her apartment were thankful to be treated, she had a few instances where people tried to steal things from her.

“What’s the damage, doc?” Red Hood’s voice came through rather tinny through his helmet. 

Marinette grimaced. The helmet must have awful air circulation. It looked like some sort of metal, and wet and metal never smelled good together. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Thought you were supposed to be some mystic healer who came from the far east.”

She paused and looked at the man, trying to judge whether he was racist as well as rude. “That’s rather insulting.” 

Red Hood shrugged. Marinette applauded the man for showing no outward sign of pain at that, even though there was a bullet embedded in his shoulder, and shrugging had to bite. “That’s what the word on the street is, though you sound French to me. Thought I’d come and check out who’s healing Gotham’s criminals. What’re you planning?”

“Sorry to foil your plans, but I’m not planning anything other than getting my college degree and not pissing off the people I live near.” She paused, flipping the lock on the briefcase upwards. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use me as your go to healer from now on. You’re going to bring trouble my way.”

“Trouble? Me? Perish the thought.” His hand rested comfortably on the holister of his gun, ready to shoot if the girl pulled out a weapon from the briefcase. “We’ll talk about repeat appearances after I see how you do today.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Any wounds other than the obvious?”

“Just need the bullet out, and some stitches on the gash.” His shoulder and his abdomen, respectively. The gash looked nastier than the bullet; no shrapnel, but the cut on his stomach was jagged and wide. Not a normal, sharp blade. Probably needed a good cleaning.

She grabbed the tweezers, a sterilized needle, and medical thread. “That’s fine. Now are you going to undress, or am I going to have to cut your… costume… up?”

“Getting me naked already? We haven’t even had our first date yet.”

“Very funny, little Red Riding Hood. Now hop to it. I have class at 9 tomorrow and projects to finish tonight.” Somehow, trouble always seemed to find her when she least wanted it to. Not that she wanted to have trouble find her at all, but luck was a two way street, and for all that being Ladybug granted her good luck, she attracted criminals like catnip. 

“And here my informants had me thinking you were a regular Florence Nightingale.”

Marinette snorted. “They wish. I’ve got to ask who told you, because everybody should know the rules. You know, the ones where they don’t speak of my existence to their higher ups?”

“I’m not a rat,” Red Hood said, taking the top part of his outfit off. “And it’s not like you would have gone unnoticed anyways. You might be treating small timers now, but people catch on to healers pretty easy.”

“Because some gauze and sewing skills make me such a prime target.”

“No, your magic does.”

Shit. Marinette never told anyone she was using magic, and she rarely used it unless it was a dire situation. If she could patch them up using regular skills, she did. 

“Yeah right, if I had magic healing powers, do you think I’d be shoving my fingers into your shoulder to get a bullet out?”

“Not a very good liar, Lady Cross. You have this deer-caught-in-the-headlights look about you.”

“Thanks for the compliment. I’m also the deer that tramples through your windshield and takes a dump on the driver’s seat.” She maneuvered the tweezers a little rougher, hoping to make Red Hood hiss in pain. He just chuckled, amused. His high pain tolerance was getting rather annoying. She had half a mind to pour hydrogen peroxide over the wound just to see if that would make him show he was in pain, but thought better of it. Even though she didn’t like the man, she also didn’t want to piss him off. Or worse, have him come back and make her fix him up again. 

Threading the needle, she made quick, small stitches on his shoulder, sewing the bullet hole up, then put some petroleum jelly to speed up the healing process and reduce scarring. At least the wound was in a position that didn’t require a lot of gauze. She needed to go out and buy some more soon. She barely had enough to wrap around Red Hood’s waist.

“So, the magic,” Red Hood started. “Is it a conditional thing? Can you not use it all the time?”

“Again, I don’t have magic.” Marinette did have to use some antibacterial on the knife wound. He would need to take good care of that one to make sure it didn’t get infected. 

“So a meta, then. What are you doing in Gotham? Everybody knows Batman hates metas.”

“Not a meta, either, sorry to disappoint.” She tied off the gauze, then stood to wash her hands. “Make sure to clean the stomach wound well. Hope you have your tetanus shot, otherwise you should look into getting one.”

“Surprisingly, I’m inclined to believe you on the not-a-meta thing. Back to the first thing, then. Magic. Why don’t you show me the old razzle dazzle? Do you have to say one of those weird spells like the godmother in Cinderella? Bibbity bobbity boo?”

“You’re hilarious,” Marinette dead panned. 

“How’s this for magic? Bibbity bobbity boo, kindly leave. Shoo.” She followed his suggestion, made a show of jazz hands as well. “Pity I don’t use magic otherwise you’d be gone now. Anyways, it’s time for you to make your exit. It would be great if you didn't visit me again. Ever. Thanks.”

She ushered him out onto her patio, then slammed the sliding door. He saluted her before dropping off the side of the building. She could imagine the man under the helmet smirking.

Marinette ran a hand through her loose hair. “He’s going to come back, isn’t he.”

@jasonette-july-2k20

[physicalturian]

[18+] Words of pleasure - Law x F!Reader - Part 1

Summary : Being overwhelmed with work is exhausting. To release some of that stress, you make your way on a website to talk to strangers. One of them strike your interest and while the conversation flows you find yourself being dommed online. An unusual occurrence you might get a liking to. The thrill of letting someone take the control when too much weight is on your shoulders, no strings attached. Unless...

[No spoilers] [Modern AU - College AU] [She/her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] Words : 5034 Archive of our own

Warning : Consensual BDSM / Masturbation / Power play / Dom/sub Dynamics / Cybersex / Stranger / Vaginal fingering... If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask

. . . . .

Boredom makes you do crazy things. Lack of free time too, mix them together and you end up stumbling on a website, talking to strangers from all across the world.

 With my work done, it was already pretty late, but I deserved some distraction for working so hard. I did not really care how late it was, I wanted to relax and have some fun, no matter the kind of fun.

Arriving on the home page, I stared at it “Clean chat or NSFW chat? Well…” I mumbled to myself, clicking on the NSFW tab, I had to find a name now. It had to be explicit enough so that the person would know what I want right? Yeah, but what do I want? Huffing, I typed down “Entertain me” Before entering and getting matched with a random person.

 They did not stay long, and their names were surprising to say the least. It took me a lot of time to match with someone that did not have a weird name, and did not leave the minute they got matched with me. I almost gave up too. Now, I was not one to kink shame, but neither was I into anthro dogs and role playing as people’s daughter.

 But funny enough, when they had a slightly normal name. They’d be the most boring person ever, I had to laugh every time people who had “dom” in their name, were the least charismatic people I’d ever met. I had to give it a thought and wonder, were they dom or did they just top their whole life?

 Huffing, I pressed the escape key on my keyboard once more to refresh the conversation and leaned back on my pillows. “At this point, I should just go to sleep.” I pondered out loud, my eyes riveted on the loading screen. I had probably skipped everybody on this website, and now they couldn’t give me anything. When I was about to leave, I was matched with someone named “A real doctor”.

 I couldn’t help the chuckled that escaped my lips as I leaned forward and wrote down.

 Entertain me: Now, are you really a doctor? Or do you want to get people to be horny over you?

Entertain me: ah, wait, also, how old are you? I’m 23, she/her.

A real doctor: There is no reason for me to lie, I don’t even need to tell them I’m a doctor to have them horny. People are always horny on this website.

A real doctor: 29, he/him. How long have you been looking to be entertained?

 Laughing I shook my head, I was surprised to meet someone who was 29 when most people I’d met until now were 18 or 19. I skipped them too. But I was definitely relieved, and it showed in my reply.

 Entertain me: thank god you’re 29, I was afraid I was going to catch a case! So many young people here, it’s frightening.

A real doctor: Are you telling me I’m old?

Entertain me: no no no, definitely not, no you’re the perfect age don’t worry. But since you’re asking so kindly, I’ve been here for about two hours and I have not had a single one good conversation.

A real doctor: Good, then I’m here to change that. What kind of entertainment are you looking for?

 I stared at my screen for a second, for some reason I was starting to feel excited. His question was a good one, and valid one too, and now I had to give him an adequate answer. Running my hands over my face, I was going to type back when he sent something.

 A real doctor: I guess, since we’re both on the NSFW chat the question is: what are your kinks? Your limits, perhaps?

 I don’t know why I answered so quickly, but my fingers did the talking.

 Entertain me: Hey maybe I should ask you that, maybe I want to dom you. How about that? You’d be surprised with how versatile I am.

A real doctor: You’re cute, but I don’t recall mentioning domming. Quite the lapsus you did there, I want to play a game with you but to do so you’ll have to tell me your kinks and your limits, dear.

 Why did I blush? A stranger called me dear, and I was feeling funny inside. For the first time tonight, someone was taking the reins and I kind of enjoyed it a lot. With my hands shaking slightly in excitment, I typed,

 Entertain me: I suppose you make a fair point…

A real doctor: Of course, I do, now do tell me.

Entertain me: right away, sir.

 I said half-jokingly, but that did not go through with the text. If anything, it fueled a certain fire, and perhaps I’ll admit I was testing the waters.

 A real doctor: Already catching on I see, good girl.

 Why was that so hot? My breath hitched and I simply looked at those words a few seconds, taking them in. Sighing, I leaned towards the left and open the drawer of my bed table, grabbing my toy. What am I doing… I thought. Putting the vibrator next to me, I took my time to reply.

 Entertain me: first of all, that’s kind of hot and you are definitely entertaining me.

A real doctor: I barely started, good to know you’re already hooked.

Entertain me: oh fuck off, it’s just the charisma. You got the pzazz, that’s all.

A real doctor: Check the attitude, and give me an answer.

 Gulping, I typed back, weighing my words this time.

 Entertain me: Well, avoid degradation because that’s not my cup of tea but… I suppose, while some of those might be hard through a screen… Body worship is cool, very cool… The entire idea of BDSM is lovely, I like praising, spanking, public stuff has some appeal and…

 I didn’t write the last one, feeling like it was too much. Should I say that? It sounds to fucking submissive. Which is my role right now, clearly, so I should just go for it. Sighing, I read his message and groaned, writing back.

 A real doctor: Go ahead. And? I want clear answers and you’re not done yet.

Entertain me: I like to please my partner, is that a kink?

A real doctor: A service sub? How cute. I’ll definitely make good use of that. Any limits?

Entertain me: I’m never showing my face, but pics are okay. I mean, if you’d like some of course. Consent and all that. I’m willing to try other stuff if we take things slow, too!

 Oh god, that sounded desperate. I don’t even know what he looks like and I’m telling him all of my deepest tastes. “Well, that’s the idea, right? I’ll never meet him, but I can have some fun, right? It’s all about having some fun, both of us. We both get off, and then never talk again.” I whispered to myself, looking up at the time. Noticing it was already 2 am, I was going to leave but I couldn’t find the strength to do so and waited for the man’s reply.

 A real doctor: Very well, I love the eagerness. I’ll be taking notes of those, now you’re curious about the game, aren’t you?

Entertain me: Don’t flatter yourself, if it’s some weird shit I’ll just leave. It really all depends on what’s your game. And please, don’t tell me it’s truth or dare.

A real doctor: Give me some credits, I’m not a teenage boy.

A real doctor: You’ll like it.

A real doctor: The game is this, I tell you what to do, and you do it.

Entertain me: okay…

A real doctor: Interested?

Entertain me: I’ll need more details, but I haven’t left, have I?

A real doctor: You haven’t indeed. Good girl, see you want to be ordered around. It’ll be my pleasure.

A real doctor: Your hands off your keyboard, I’ll be guiding you. All you’ll have to do, is read me. Is that alright?

 I took in his words for a moment. Was I really going to let him tell me what to do? My own voice resonated in my head, telling him that was the fun of it, it was hot. It was exciting, and different, nothing bad could happen.

 Entertain me: Would it be interesting to tell you I have a vibrator next to me right now, sir?

 I facepalmed behind my screen, maybe that wasn’t his shit. Maybe he just wanted me to finger myself or something, maybe I fucked it all up and now I was going to go to bed horny and sad. My self-depreciation dissipated when I saw his reply.

 A real doctor: It’s interesting, speeds?

Entertain me: Five, sir.

A real doctor: Hands off the keyboard, lay on your back, let’s start.

 And I did. With the laptop right next to me, I laid on back and waited for his words, following each of his instruction. Each in a separate message, fired like bullets.

 If you’re dressed, I want you to get completely naked. Undress slowly. Feel yourself. Your hands caressing each of your curves. Brushing over your breasts. Stop there. Pinch your nipples, hard and tug. Feel the sting. The warmth that follows. Spread your legs wide. Let one hand travel between them. Slowly start playing with yourself. Your fingers slowly spreading your folds. Rubbing yourself for me. You’re enjoying this, you like being ordered around. You want to be played with, you’re doing exactly as I’m telling you, like a good girl.

 I arched my back, a hand still on my breast while brushing my finger against my clit. I was burning up, my head digging inside the pillow, it felt strange. He was not wrong, and I could feel my arousing growing and growing.

 A real doctor: Want to continue? Are we still good, dear?

 Groaning I turned on the side and wrote with one hand.

 Entertain me: yes, sir.

A real doctor: Good. Back on your back, take your toy.

 Grabbing it, I waited for the next instruction, my hand having left my clit. It was pulsing, I never thought this would have so much effect but I was starting to get angsty.

 Brush it between your folds. Slowly. Get it wet for me. Good, like that. Keep at it a while. Your free hand, I want it caressing your body. Feel every sensation. Feel every touch, every brush.

 I let out a huff and wrote him, while still brushing the tip of my toy between my folds. I was starting to breathe heavily, feeling needy.

 Entertain me: it’s cold here, goosebumps.

A real doctor: Imagine my warm hands traveling your body.

Entertain me: fuck, can I fuck myself? Please sir

A real doctor: Already? No, no. Not just yet, let’s take our time.

 Groaning, I let my head hit the pillow and considered turning on the vibrator but thought against it. He had not told me to yet, I should wait, make it more fun. But fuck, I needed it.

 Let’s start slowly. You asked nicely, like a good girl. And since you’ve been listening until now… Put it in, speed one. But don’t fuck yourself. Leave it there. Legs spread wide. Now that your hands are free, bring them back to your chest. Give yourself firm, hard, gropes. Feel the vibrations inside you. Slide your hands down your torso, to your belly and gently brush your hands on your inner thighs. Feel the texture, your cold fingers on your burning skin. I want you to rub your clit, take a deep breath and start playing with it. Feel the electricity coursing.

 See yourself, enjoying the idea of being commanded. Look at yourself, look down at your hands. See yourself masturbating for me. Feel your toy stretching you, filling you up. Now start pumping in and out. But not too hard. That’s it, good girl. Slowly, very slowly. It’s painfully slow, isn’t it? Keep doing good, and we’ll speed things up.

 I whined and brought a hand to my mouth, muffling the noises escaping it. My roommates were probably sleeping, I had to keep it quiet. I hate how slow paced it was, but I loved how thrilling it was to do this. I bucked my hips to try to meet the toy as I pulled it out to pull it back in, slowly.

 Look at you. Shoving a dildo inside you. Just because I told you so. I blushed and let out a whimper. You’re actually enjoying yourself. You are being entertained, just as you asked. I can almost see the smile on your face. Tell me, is my good girl desperate yet?

 Bringing my hands to my hair, I got the wild strands of hair out of my face and wrote back. My face was on fire, but no one would know. What happened here was between this stranger and I, no one would know how I was being guided to fuck myself by a total stranger.

 Entertain me: sir… can I up the speed?

A real doctor: Very cute, you haven’t answered, dear.

Entertain me: please…

Entertain me: sir.

A real doctor: Alright, dear. You can put it at 2.

A real doctor: But you stop the thrusting, I want you to keep it deep inside you. Close your legs and feel the vibrations, when you think you’re close, you stop. Understood?

Entertain me: yes sir!!

A real doctor: How eager, lovely. Hands off now.

 Huffing, I did as he asked and upped the speed. A giggle escaped my lips before my breath caught in my throat and I could feel everything strongly, with how deep it was. I closed my eyes for a moment, missing some of the messages but opened them again, and read everything while feeling the sensations inside me.

 Angle it right. That’s right. Turn the speed one notch now. It should be at three, if you’ve been following right. See your face, you’re enjoying this. How cute, I can only imagine the sinful sounds leaving that pretty mouth of yours. It can probably do a lot more than moan. It can whimper. As it’s being fucked. As you’re being fucked. Bring your fingers inside your mouth and suck on it. That’s it, suck it. Push the toy deeper inside you. You can speed up the pace. Not too wild.

 “Fuck” I breathed out, my fingers hooked in my mouth as I met each of thrusts. I wanted to go faster, I wanted to do as I pleased and find a quick relief. I knew myself; I knew what to do but there was this thrill in giving the control to this stranger. My walls were clenched around the toy, I could feel it against my walls even more at each thrust. I desperately grabbed my blanket, almost making my laptop tumble off my bed and muffled my voice while biting down the fabric.

 I was surprised when a whine came out of my mouth, I put my hand over my muffled mouth to, hopefully, muffle it better.

 A real doctor: You’ve been good. Such a good girl, haven’t you?

 I sighed and leaned on my side, typing very slowly. My thrusts, slowing down as my focus was on the conversation.

 Entertain me: Yes sir, I’m so good

A real doctor: Good. Then I want you to grab the base of your toy and…

A real doctor: Fuck your brains out, go wild. While you’re at it, speed at 4.

 My arms were screaming for me to stop, it had been so long. But I felt the knot in my stomach grow in excitement and did exactly as he had asked. The pleasure was so good, it was so good. I had been waiting for this since we had started. One hand was gripping the base of the vibrator tight, while the other was rubbing my clit. My eyes rolled back a few times when it touched the right spot, but then I had to thrust more and lost it. I hated it but at the same time, I loved the mix of pain and pleasure of the fast and deep thrusts.

 Here we go. Hard, and fast. I want you to go wild. Let yourself go. Fuck your hole good. Groan, squirm, moan, plead for more. I’m sure you’re sore, but you’re doing so great. Such a good girl, doing exactly as you’re told. Keep going, don’t stop. Feel your toy stretching you out. You’re so wet, you can probably hear it, right? God, such a good girl. Spread your legs wide and keep going, good. Good. Now, read well, dear.

 I want you to go to the last speed, and keep your toy deep like last time. Don’t move it. Cross your legs and keep it there. I’ll count to 20, you’ll keep it there until I’m done. Are we good? Don’t answer, just follow my instruction. Come on, last speed. And here we go. That’s it dear. Good. Let’s start.

 Then he started sending a message for each number starting from 1. I watched the screen with half-lidded eyes, feeling the toy vibrating inside me, my hand starting to go numb from the said vibrations. My thighs were a bit sore, but I ignored it and moved the toy slightly to angle it only to find the right spot, I closed my eyes and focused on the sensation, only peeking to see the count was at 13. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My thighs were closed around my hand so hard, it hurt a bit but I was getting close.

 That’s it, what a view. Fucked out, exhausted. But you’re not done yet. Pick up the pace now, thrust and shove, hold it there. And again. And again. Hit that sweet spot. That’s it. Good girl, so obedient. Feel the soreness between your legs. Feel your clit throbbing. Feel yourself getting closer. Just from being told what to do? Pay attention to the throbbing. Fuck yourself hard a minute again. Then keep it there. That’s it, yes. I’m sure you must be quite the sight. I want you to be noisy. To be loud. Get wild. Buck your hips against the toy. That’s it. So obedient.

 My legs tensed the moment the knot inside my stomach reached its peak. I let out a high-pitched breath inside the blanket and let my head fall back on the pillow. I hadn’t realized I had contracted my whole body, and let out a chuckle at the realization. Slowly, I turned back to the screen, moving my tired arms to type back.

 Entertain me: I am good, exhausted, and I came, sir.

 I laid back on the pillow with another sigh. What time is it? How long did this take? I should probably get up and get cleaned but I’m too lazy right now.

 A real doctor: Good.

 I saw him type but typed my question faster.

 Entertain me: But it’s weird, you didn’t get to get off. Do you need anything? I could send you pictures if you want, I feel kind of bad that you just… helped me out and I did not do anything.

A real doctor: Oh, you did plenty. I get off on knowing you did as I instructed. And you did, didn’t you?

Entertain me: Yes, of course. Yeah, it was hot… And I enjoyed it, yes.

A real doctor: Is that so? Anything else you’d like to share? I’ve never had such obedient girl. You are very interesting.

Entertain me: Come on, it’s just in this setting that I’m like that. I’m very feisty in real life, I was just wondering what it’d feel like to let go of the control for once, I guess.

Entertain me: But if you need more feedbacks… I hated/loved how long you took to up the speed, and I am genuinely physically drained haha. But in a good way! A very good way.

A real doctor: Let’s talk more once you’ve hydrated. Get some water, and if you can, get cleaned up. I’ll be right here, alright?

Entertain me: right, right. Brb.

 Moving the laptop on my pillow while I sat up, I wrapped my toy with the towel that I had set under myself. When my feet met the ground and I balanced myself, I felt my legs wobbling a bit then made my way to the bathroom silently. I turned on the sink and let the water flow until it was warm and cleaned my toy before cleaning myself and getting changed.

 I made a detour by the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and a sandwich before going back to my bed and sitting down, tailor-style, with my laptop in front of me. There were a few new messages from the doctor, so I put down my food and was ready to reply.

 A real doctor: If you’re willing, I would like to see a picture of your body to check if you’re good.

A real doctor: Now this website does not allow it, but if you have any media in mind, I’m all ears.

Entertain me: Yeah, sure, yep. I don’t have any bruises or anything, but if you’re that worried yeah! Maybe Discord? You’re a doctor, I feel like you don’t have discord.

A real doctor: I don’t know if you’re bratty, or if you are being an idiot on purpose.

Entertain me: omg none? I was voicing my train of thought!

A real doctor: Right. HandSurgeon#4766

Entertain me: Funny name, don’t judge mine. It’s my personal discord, so no sexy pic just, well you’ll see.

 Going to the friend list, I pasted the username in the search bar and added him. I was added back very fast and bided him good night on the website once I was sure it was him on discord. I made sure to save the conversation, just in case… Maybe for later use, if I felt bored.

 HandSurgeon: I don’t even know what’s your profile picture, but I’m not going to mention it again.

Edelweiss: It’s a tardigrade, come on. It’s fun, a bit, right?

Edelweiss: Anyway, let me take that nude for you sir 😉

HandSurgeon: Don’t call it that, it’s to check if you didn’t go too crazy.

Edelweiss: That’s what they say, then they ask for more

 I had to strip down naked once more to take the picture before getting dressed back up, it was getting late but I was still buzzing with energy. I probably won’t talk about this with my roommates, but if they asked why I was up so late I’d have to find an excuse. Telling them I was working would probably work, but then I’d get yelled at for not taking care of myself and having the worse sleep schedule.

 Edelweiss: [sent an attachment]

Edelweiss: Here we go. Sorry if I’m not your type, maybe we should have talked about that first. Now I’m self-conscious, but it’s too late haha…

HandSurgeon: You look gorgeous, don’t go thinking you’re not my type. You are very, very hot. I can see you have food next to you, that’s good. You are taking care, good girl.

HandSurgeon: I can also see from your clock that we’re on the same time zone.

HandSurgeon: Which is good and bad, it’s already 3 am and you are not asleep. Why is that?

Edelweiss: living the student life, only the best life. I was working on some project for my master degree, and I thought: hey I’m horny, let’s go on that funny website.

Edelweiss: And here we are.

Edelweiss: Why are you awake? Shouldn’t you be… getting some sleep to be saving lives in the morning or something?

HandSurgeon: I had just finished a 10 hours surgery, I needed something to distract my mind while working on some paperwork. You did very well in being distracting.

 It felt a lot more real when I read his message. It was now sinking in that he was really a doctor, not any kind, a surgeon. I was not going to ask more details, the less I knew the better. But it was slightly intimidating and at the same time interesting to know he was the real deal. My pride was swelling when I read I was able to distract him from his work, he had done his fair share of helping me out too.

 Edelweiss: I am sorry? Is it… important paperwork? I could let you be, if you want. We could talk another time, when you’re free? My sleeping schedule is fucked up, I don’t know about yours but I am going to be online many late nights haha.

Edelweiss: if you want to, of course. Maybe you don’t want to hear from me again. Actually, I thought I’d be the one to leave the website and not come back, but I kind of enjoyed our session… I wouldn’t mind doing this a bit more if we’re both in the mood of course.

HandSurgeon: You’re so nervous. Don’t be, I’m not going to let you go. What kind of dom would I be if I let such an obedient girl go? Go to sleep, we’ll talk later Edelweiss. Any reason for that name?

Edelweiss: god I didn’t want you to ask, it’s just. It’s a cool flower, it means strength and toughness you know? I’m a tough woman, I deal with shit. I can handle shit, you know?

 I read my message many times, thinking maybe I should have found something funny but thought not. It was just bonding, we were discussing, getting to know one another. It wasn’t half bad. I turned off my computer, and moved to Discord on my phone, to keep talking. When I looked at his picture, it was just a white bear, it looked cute. Funny how he had such a cute picture and he was domming someone on the side, two sides of the same coin I suppose. Come to think of it, maybe he could be an old man, maybe he wasn’t who he said he was…

 HandSurgeon: Interesting, I like it. It’s better than calling you ‘Entertain me’. Not very creative, if you ask me.

Edelweiss: Oh right, because ‘A real doctor’ is better? Maybe you’re not even a doctor. Maybe you’re catfishing me. And I sent you a nude. Oh my god…

HandSurgeon: I am not catfishing you, I can send you a picture. What do you need on it?

Edelweiss: Uh, I don’t know? Write down my name on a paper, and hold it against your chest, then take the picture? With the date! Yeah.

 There wasn’t any reply for a moment, I was starting to panic. Then I received the picture and gasped loudly. Surrounded by the darkness of the room, it was all that could drown my shock. I had to take a double take as I wrote back.

 HandSurgeon: [sent an attachment]

Edelweiss: I mean, … Thank you for... it’s uh. Very. You’re not catfishing me. Nope. I understand why HandSurgeon now, you uh. Yep. Nice gloved hands, very slender. Most people would have held a huge piece of paper between their index finger and their thumb.

Edelweiss: but you opted for middle finger and index. And a smaller paper. Almost as if you were posing really. I do not mind. It’s uh. Enjoyable. Not an old man, no. And the scrubs and all, love it.

HandSurgeon: The scrubs, yes. You believe me, good. You can rest easy now, go to sleep Edelweiss. You probably have work to do tomorrow, and so do I.

HandSurgeon: Sleep well.

Edelweiss: Sweet dreams doc!

 I stared at the screen a bit longer before leaving the app and turning my phone face down on my night stand. What a night. I was so tired, and yet buzzing with excitement. It was strange, it was a strange dynamic but I wanted to discover more. I wanted to know more about this world. What else could this man offer me?

 Closing my eyes, I thought, maybe I could buy a connected sex toy? Sure, they were for couples, but they could definitely be used for other people. It could be fitting if I wanted to give him the control…

 My hands met my face full force and I groaned, I had met this man at best 4 hours ago and I was already desperate to have another session. I was already desperate to let him have the control.

 But it felt nice, so nice to not be in control for once. Yes, I had to hold the toy and read, but he was the one guiding me, it was elating! God, what am I doing? No, it’s alright. I’m an adult, he’s an adult. We’re both consenting adults, having fun. Nothing bad there.

 I’m a sore adult though. Maybe I’d need a few days before letting him have his fun. My eyes closed; I was thinking back on how his undershirt was hugging his form. Was it legal to look like that? I mean, I did not know what he looked like, but the little I saw was enough to make someone dream. His long-sleeved grey shirt was showing off his muscles and it definitely made me weak.

 I scoffed into my pillow, a surgeon. I wonder what else his hands could do. Fortunately, I’ll never meet him in real life, if I met the man I did not know if I’d want to jump him or run away from how intimidating his entire being was.

 It only took me a lot of stupid questions and day dreaming, for my brain to finally shut down and let me sleep. I went to sleep a lot easier than I usually did, perhaps it was because of the nice fucking I gave myself. Or perhaps it was thanks to the energy I spent overthinking the situation. Whichever it was, I was passed out in no time.

 Tomorrow I’ll talk more to the hot doctor and have a bit more fun with him.

[Part 2]

[kindnessisweakness2]

DELUSIONAL { PART 6}

*Not my GIF *

Delaney shifted as Jax settled himself down on her sofa. They had both showered and their leftover pizza boxes from dinner littered her coffee table. It was weird how self conscious she felt around Jax now. They had done this exact routine thousands of times over the years they had known eachother. Movies and pizza. She didn't know why she was overthinking everything so much. Yes he had to act like he was madly In love with her, even in the house as they both knew the creep would be watching somehow, but Nothing had really changed between them. Not for real. Much to her disappointment.

Jax looked over as he felt Delaney move again trying to get herself comfortable. He knew what she was doing. She was trapped in her own thoughts. Feeling rage start to burn slightly in his chest as he thought that this creep was making her feel uncomfortable in her own home, he quickly turned to her. "Hey. Don't think about everything that's going on. Don't stress yourself out." Taking her hand Jax tugged her gently towards him. "Lay with me like we always do." Smiling softly Delaney settled herself between Jax's legs and lay with her head on his chest. Kissing the top of her head Jax pulled the blue  throw blanket that she always kept on the back of the couch over the both of them and snuggled down with her pressed against him. For the first time in weeks Delaney drifted off to sleep with ease mentally thanking God for having someone in her life as good as Jax.

When Delaney woke up the next morning she was in her bed, Jax sleeping soundly next to her. He must of carried her to bed last night. Looking at the time she groaned as she realised she had a class in an hour. She loved dancing but she would love staying in bed with Jax so much more. Leaning over him gently Delaney shook him awake. "Morning babe" Jax mumbled as he pulled her close. Shirtless Jax was making it even harder to 1 keep her emotions in check and 2 leave the bed and be productive. "I need to be at the studio in an hour. Do you want to stay here?" Jax shook his head as he forced himself to let go of her and sit up. " No I think it's best if I come with you darlin. I'll get ready now." Delaney's eyes followed his figure all the way to the bathroom and hoped to god Jax didn't notice the lust in her eyes at the sight of him half naked.

30 minutes later and they were on their way to the studio on Jax's bike. Delaney loved being on the back of his bike. Holding him close and the rush of the wind in her ears was like nothing else. Smiling at Jax as she passed him his helmet she climbed off the bike. " You don't have to come in y'know" Delaney nervously commented. He'd never seen her dance and the thought of it made her stomach twist. "What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't support my girl?" Delaney's chest filled with warmth at the sound of 'boyfriend' and 'my girl'. Even if it was fake she felt her heart skip a beat. It damn near stopped though when he placed his hands either side of her face and kissed her cheek. Yep, it's official. He will be the death of her.

Leading the way into the studio she found a chair for Jax to sit off to the side on and placed her bag next to him. Everyone was already warming up so she started to get herself ready. Jax nearly lost it when she started to take her grey jogging bottoms off. "W-what the hell are you doing?" Delaney nearly laughed at the expression on his face. "I've got shorts on underneath babe. I can't dance in these". He watched her intently as she pulled on her heels and strapped her kneepads on. Getting up she started to stretch and warm up like everybody else. It felt weird this time as everyone was sneaking looks at Jax clearly intreuged as to why he was there. No one was brave enough to say anything that is until the bitch walked in. Ima took the same classes as Delaney and always tried to compete with her for everything. She stiffened as the blonde made her way over. "Hi Jax." Delaney couldn't help but roll her eyes as he muttered a quick hello back. Delaney had never got along with her. She stuck her nose in everyone's business and had no respect for any other woman attatched to the club. She'd smile at your face trying to be sweet as pie but fuck your man once your back was turned. She was vile. "Hi Delaney". Ima grinned at her. Ignoring her Delaney continued to stretch and Jax couldn't help but watch in amazement as she dropped into the splits. Ima was clearly irritated that she had been ignored by Delaney. Standing up just as class was called Delaney smiled at Jax and kissed his cheek. She could feel the anger and shock rolling off Ima and didn't feel bad to say she found it amusing. "This class won't be long baby. We can go for lunch after." Jax nodded as Delaney and Ima made their way to the front of the room glaring at eachother.

Jax couldn't believe it. The way she moved her body. She looked so good. She was so attractive to him and so talented with what she does. Delaney was out of breath after the last run through. Quickly grabbing her water bottle she downed nearly half of it and made her way back over to Jax. But before she could get there she felt a hard shove in her back. Turning to face whoever did it, Delaney scoffed loudly. She should of fucking known. "YOU messed me up. YOURE the reason I didn't get that last run through and opportunity to be in the final video of the routine." Ima shouted in her face. Jax quickly stood from the chair and made his way over. Delaney may be alot of things but a push over isn't one of them. "Fuck off! You didn't make the cut.You lost the opportunity. Have some dignity, put your big girl panties on and deal with it." Ima raised her hand to strike Delaney but before she connect she caught her hand in a vice like grip. Her eyes turned cold and Jax was hesitant to step in. "I'm only going to tell you this once. You put your fucking hands on me I wont just bust your nose this time. I'll break your jaw so fucking hard you'll never be able to get paid for sucking dick ever again. You'll be eating food through a fucking straw and I'll shove my foot so far up your coochie it won't be considered a hole anymore, it'll be a fucking bucket." Ima winced as Delaney let go of her hand and made a run to grab her bag and leave. Taking a deep breath Delaney ignored Jax as she pulled her heels off and her joggers back on. The studio was now empty and Delaney silently thanked god that no one was witness to her little outburst. "You were really good babe." Smiling at Jax Delaney went slightly red. "Thanks." Jax grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. "Ignore ima. She's just jealous. You looked amazing out there."  Nodding her head Delaney looked up into his baby blues and nearly got lost. She really wished this could all be different. No game to get this guy to go away. She wanted all of this to be real. Little did she know Jax did too. He didn't know what he would ever do without her. He didn't think he could fall in love with anyone other than Tara. But he was quickly proved wrong when Delaney came into his life. He never made a move on her because he always believed she deserved better. Better than a criminal like him. She was good and pure. But him? He was tainted and bad for her.

But Jax couldn't help himself as he stood there staring into her brown eyes. They reminded him of chocolate so deep and dark he could get lost in them and never wanted to find his way out. Gently tipping his head down their lips met and neither one of them could put into words how the fireworks felt. Softly pushing her back against the white wall of the studio Jax's hands settled on her hips. He held her to him tightly. God he didn't want this moment to end. He wanted her. All of her. No other woman could come close.

And as Delaney and Jax had their first kiss, a moment that was so special and so private, they didn't realise they were being watched. Too wrapped up in their love for eachother they didn't notice the angry figure stood behind the glass window taking photos with his camera.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sorry it's late guys! I've been at the hospital all day. I hope you guys enjoy it please let me know what you think! Part 7 will follow shortly!

Also the choreography that I imagine Delaney doing in this chapter is Aliyah Janell's No Guidance routine. Please watch it on YouTube, shes a fantastic dancer!

Love to you all, stay safe!! 💕

[maybankiara]

YOU’RE IN MY HEAD

pairing: Footballer!Rafe Cameron x Reader

summary: When he keeps putting you off your position during matches, you decide to take it up with him -- unbeknownst to you, there’s more to Rafe than just wanting to prevent you from being a good football player (and it’s called unresolved sexual tension.)

w/c: 4k

a/n: happy valentine’s day!! @drewstarkey and i have a whole football!obx au (soccer, for you americans) planned that i keep putting off, so here’s a little something loosely inspired by the idea, until that finally arrives. also, in this universe, football is a unisex sport. i’m not a football expert so there may be some inaccuracies. i hope you enjoy both the day and the fic! (and do let me know if this football!fic is what people are interested in.)

masterlist

It’s the half-time of one of the better matches the team has played this season and, of course, Rafe Cameron ruins it by uttering a single sentence: ‘Y/N, you’re swapping positions with Kiara.’

 The captain’s orders don’t end here, and he decides to implement some more strategies the team has practiced before, adapting the approach to the heavy-defence strategy that North Carolina is playing tonight. Sarah gives you a sympathetic look and a tap on your hand, but all you can do is shake your head.

 This is the third time in a row Rafe has put you on the sidelines, basically. Always swapping with Kiara, whom everybody knows to be a lot fiercer right back than you, or anyone else on the team. Just like you’re better at being in the front, charging for the goal.

 When the changes are in place and there’s about five minutes left, Rafe asks if anyone has got questions. Peterkin stays quiet and lets Captain Cameron take over, just like she always does.

 You raise your hand, and Rafe calls on you. ‘What the fuck, Rafe? Why are you putting me in the back again?’

 His jaw clenches. ‘We need someone firmer on the front.’

 ‘But you also need a firm defence,’ you argue. ‘You’re not making any sense.’

 He stares at you and you hold his gaze, unwavering, feeling his sister stir next to you. On the other end of the locker room, Kiara pulls her jersey down, biting her lip. ‘Y/N’s right—’

 ‘I know what I’m doing,’ Rafe cuts her off. ‘Now let’s get back on the field.’

 You listen to what he says, but not without letting your disagreement with his choice be written all over your face. When you’re headed out, he’s waiting to be the last, and you bump into him as you’re walking out, shoulder to shoulder, torso to torso.

 He glares, and you clench your teeth, trailing behind Pope.

 Back on the field, time flies. You warm up quickly and it’s back in the game again, only on a different position than where you started. Kiara offers you a sympathetic glance, much like the one Sarah gave you, because everyone is starting to notice that Rafe is treating you differently.

 As you run, a little out of the grounds he told you you’d be covering, saving the ball more than a handful of times, you feel his watchful eyes on you. You’re not meant to be playing the right back but you’d rather do your best, even if it means overexerting yourself, just to make sure you don’t lose.

 You foul an opposing player and drop to the ground, feeling your ankle get sore; Rafe’s the first to get to your side, helping you up. ‘What the fuck do you think you’re doing?’

 It’s a free kick, but not a yellow, so you say, ‘Whatever it takes.’

 ‘Don’t go breaking your legs, Y/N.’

 You pull your arm out of his hold, sending a glare his way as you go back to your position. You should keep paying attention to the ball, because it’s about to be kicked, but you can’t help but shout, ‘If you let me play what I’m supposed to play, maybe I’ll listen!’

 The game picks up. You dive a few more times, Kiara gets a nasty foul that has her off the pitch for about half a minute, Topper gets a cramp, JJ fouls in the front and gets a yellow, John B and Rafe nearly start a scrap when someone gets Sarah to the ground – but you win.

 That should be what’s important, you think as the entire team is hugging and celebrating, but your heart isn’t in the right place.

 Playing football is far from fun when you keep being treated like a lesser player than someone else.

 Time wears on, the team gets changed, and it’s time for a proper celebration, down at the Wreck. Sarah tries getting your spirits up, even Kiara tries telling you that at least you evaded getting fouled like that, Kelce tells you that you saved his ass, but none of it matters – not when Rafe celebrates as if what he’s doing is right.

 Seriously. Three matches. It’s fucking ridiculous at this point.

 You approach Rafe without hesitation, but still keep your voice hushed, because you’re not exactly trying to ruin everybody’s happiness with your tension. ‘Can we talk?’

 He glances at you as he pulls his jersey over his head – your eyes drop to his lean torso, despite the fact you see it on an almost weekly basis.

 ‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ he says, and takes his shorts off. ‘You were good today, as a right back.’

 ‘That’s not my— Jesus, do you need to be half naked right now?’

 ‘What?’ he asks, almost innocently, but the grin betrays him. ‘I’m getting changed. Why are you getting so worked up?’

 ‘I’m not—’ You pinch the bridge of your nose, letting out an exasperated huff as he takes off his socks, too, and is now wearing literally just boxers. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

 He chuckles, dropping down on the bench. You half-wonder what Topper, sitting next to him, must be thinking – and realise that most of the team is taking selfies and chatting in the other end of the locker room. It’s just you and Rafe.

 Good.

 He looks up at you from the bench, manspreading with his back leaning on the wall. ‘What do you want?’

 ‘I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m kind of trying to have a serious conversation with you right now.’

 ‘Yeah, I got that.’

 He’s hot. Okay, he’s hot and the reason why you’re so bothered about him being almost naked is because it’s taking your mind off of what you’re wanting to talk about, and giving a different meaning to you being “worked up”.

 So you gather all your courage and bring your eyes up to meet his, trying to exude as much fierceness as you can muster. ‘I need you to let me play on my position. I’ve had enough, you can’t keep doing that if you’re not training me to play Kiara’s.’

 ‘Easy,’ he says, shrugging. ‘Then we’ll train you.’

 Your jaw drops. ‘Are you being fucking serious right now?’

 Before he gets to answer, JJ calls from the other end that they need to hurry up, if the team wants to make it to the Wreck at a normal time. It breaks whatever moment you and Rafe were sharing and, telling him the conversation isn’t over, you retreat back to your locker. It takes all you’ve got to not let this affect the celebratory mood, because winning 2 - 0 is pretty damn good, and you should take some credit for that. Even if it wasn’t on your position, for half of the match.

 It ends up not being so difficult, actually, to not think about what happened. Once you’re back in Kildare and at the Wreck, food and drinks are flowing, and as long as Rafe is out of your earshot and sight, it’s good. He tends to stay away from you most times, anyway.

 (Which, okay, you can admit now sometimes bothers you, you’ve had a few drinks.)

 It’s not so difficult, until JJ lounges in the chair next to you, beer can in one hand and a donut in another, asks, ‘What’s up with you and Cap’n?’

 ‘Don’t even get me started,’ you sigh. ‘I don’t know what crawled up his ass.’

 ‘Language, Y/N.’

 ‘Fuck off, Maybank.’

 The blond just grins, probably happy to see you slightly irritated – but not at him.

 He pushes the chair back from swinging into its normal position, resting his elbows on the table. He leans towards you as if he’s about to tell you a secret – even his eyebrows furrow, the ever-present smile shaping into a frown. ‘Seriously, he keeps pushing you in the back. He’s gotta have a reason for that.’

 ‘Not that I’d know of,’ you admit. You shrug, lightly, despite the actual weight of the subject. ‘I thought we made a good team in the front. He assisted me, I assisted him… It’s been working well.’

 JJ nods, pondering. ‘It was the game against New Jersey, right?’

 ‘The last time I played without the change?’ You play until JJ nods, then sigh, playing with a broken piece hanging off the wooden table. ‘I didn’t even get to play, since that bitch nearly sprained my ankle.’

 ‘It’s always your ankle,’ JJ says, chuckling.

 His thoughts take him to stories of all the injuries you and the rest of team have gotten so far, drawing a couple of your teammates into the conversation. Rafe slips off your mind for the most part, as you laugh along to the ridiculous number of times Kelce has faceplanted while tackled, or to Pope is retelling how he defended the goal by getting the ball in his nuts, which made him fear for his offspring (it was all fun, and makes for a hilarious story).

 It’s only when you glance around the table and catch him in conversation with Topper, or James, or Sarah, and his eyes are trained on you for just a moment before they’re gone – as if he wants you to see him, but wants you to question whether it was an accident. You feel yourself growing stiff; when it happens too many times, your mind flashes back to the locker room – you, trying to talk to him; Rafe, half naked, grinning at you like he knows exactly what he’s doing.

 He’s conceited. He’s selfish. He’s attractive, with that prep-boy look around him that falls apart when he’s leading the charge on the pitch – when the wisps of blond frame the sharp lines of his face, and he embodies the look of the leader he’s become.

 It just sucks that you don’t quite agree with his leadership, and he doesn’t quite agree with you speaking up about it.

 Night wears on, and your teammates flock to their beds, one by one. You’re only staying at the Wreck, the local hotel, for a night – tomorrow’s a new day, a new tournament. It would be smart to go to sleep early. Get the energy you need for tomorrow, because tomorrow’s filled with press conferences, which you don’t tend to enjoy.

 It would also be smarter to deal with the captain tomorrow morning, when you’re both sober, instead of the buzz running through your veins right now.

 By the time it hits midnight, it’s only you, JJ, Pope, Kiara, Rafe, and Topper. Instead of taking the big table at the wreck, the few of you retreated to a secluded one in the corner of the hotel’s dining room. Topper’s beating everyone at cards, but Kiara’s at his neck, and everyone has downed enough drinks for the night to be called quits soon enough; you are starting to sober up, and can already feel the headache looming.

 Inadvertently, you glance at Rafe. He’s holding his cards in one hand, spread evenly, long fingers adorned with rings keeping them in place. Across from you, his eyes don’t meet yours, as they look around the table, through everybody’s poker faces – you notice the angle of his cheekbones, the sharpness of his jawline, the unstyled hair having the slightest bit of a messy wave to it. You hate how much attention you pay to the parting of his lips, and the line of his nose, the curve of his eyes; his Adam’s apple bobbing as he taunts Pope across the table, trying to get him to break the cards.

 When he turns as if scalded and his eyes meet yours, you don’t avert your gaze.

 It might be the alcohol, but the room is starting to feel a little stuffy, a little warm; you’ve never realised how intense his gaze can be. It’s almost as if it’s unguarded, spiked with the few drinks everyone’s had.

 You clear your throat, looking at your cards – you’re definitely not going to be the one winning anytime soon. ‘I think I’ll head to bed, soon.’

 If anybody notices the fluttering of your voice, they don’t comment on it. Kiara nods, JJ boos you, and Rafe says: ‘We should all probably head to bed if we want to be ready for tomorrow.’

 ‘Okay, Cap’n,’ says Topper, resting an arm around the blond’s shoulders. ‘You go get your beauty sleep, me and the boys are going to let you know how it went when you wake up in the morning, princess.’

 Kiara clears her throat, drawing the attention to herself before quirking an eyebrow at Topper. ‘What’s making you think you’re getting rid of me?’

 There’s a collective of ooh’s, and you think about staying, but it wouldn’t be smart. Rafe’s right, you all would be better getting some sleep, but there’s also the fact that you’re pissed at him and you’re drunk enough for that to be making you seem in a bit of a different light.

 (You’re still struggling to breathe, a little bit. Hopefully no one has noticed.)

 In the end, you bid everyone goodnight, pay your bill, and head for your room. You’re still not feeling well and there’s a water dispenser in the ground hallway, opposite end of where the stairs to the upper floor are. You think about making a cup of tea, but settle for water – water is good.

 Cold water should unhaze your mind.

 You stay in the hallway, for a little pit – it’s peaceful here. Hallways have meant something to you ever since your team’s career started to take off two years ago. Wherever you go, rooms and places are different, but hallways are nearly always the same. They’re always just transit spaces, connecting point A with point B; it’s not quite a liminal space, but it’s where you feel like nothing can hurt you.

 That is, until you’re about to set your foot on the stairs, and you see Rafe walking out of the toilets.

 His eyes settle on you at the same moment and both of you freeze; the hallway is quiet, save for the music reaching it from the dining hall. You can almost hear your heart beating.

 ‘Thought you were going to bed.’

 You raise your glass, which you refilled just before embarking for your room. ‘Had to stop for a bit.’

 He nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Outside of the locker room, outside of the dining hall, he doesn’t seem like the overconfident Rafe you’ve got so much against. He still is the same – it just doesn’t show that much.

 ‘I meant what I said earlier,’ he says, slowly, as if the words are hard to push out. ‘I think your should train to be right back.’

 If you had half a shot more, you would’ve thrown the water into his face. Now, all you do, is say – ‘You’re an asshole, Cameron.’ – and go up the stairs. For a moment there’s nothing, but then there’s rushed footsteps coming up the stairs, and you feel a hand on your wrist, and his voice calling your name.

 You don’t turn around instantly. You’re too angry for that – you close your eyes instead, and breathe, before collecting yourself enough to not explode.

 He’s still holding your wrist when you turn around, and he’s close enough that you can almost feel the heat radiating off his body; the cologne mixed with the scent of fresh clothes.

 ‘Please don’t be angry with me.’

 You scoff, pulling your hand out of his grip. ‘You’re ruining my life. You know how important this is to me, and you keep— you keep putting me where I don’t belong!’

 ‘I’m sorry,’ he says, and he sounds earnest; he sounds the way his face looks – a small frown on his face, lips quivering breathlessly, the wrinkles around his eyes almost pleading with her. ‘I’m just doing what’s best for everybody, Y/N.’

 ‘I don’t play defence. That’s Kiara’s job, but apparently that’s not good enough for you. You know where I’m good at.’

 ‘You’re good playing any position.’ He says it quick, as if the words escape from him. He swallows loudly enough that she hears him and takes a step back, shaking his head. ‘Look, you’re one of the best players on the team. That’s why—’

 ‘Then why don’t you put me where I can be the best?’

 ‘Y/N, just trust me, okay?’

 ‘No,’ you say, crossing the distance he created between the two of you until his back’s pressed against the wall, and you’re right in front of him, a finger jabbed into his chest. ‘I want to know why you’re doing this.’

 He hesitates; you feel his heart beating faster than you thought possible. ‘We were playing against rough teams. I couldn’t let you get hurt.’

 You scoff again, half-laughing as you rub your forehead with the back of your hand. ‘That’s bullshit. Jesus, Rafe, you’re spewing shit.’

 ‘Look, it’s the truth. I couldn’t take that risk.’

 ‘But you could take that risk with Kiara.’

 ‘Yes.’

 No hesitation; no wavering. It’s something he must’ve thought through, over and over again, for the answer to be so certain. You’re a little taken aback, and your finger falls from his chest, but the distance is still almost nonexistent.

 It’s because I’m good, you tell yourself, that’s why he’s keeping you safe, but it doesn’t ring true. Not when you can smell his cologne and not when his eyes drop to your lips, cheeks flushed.

 So you decide to ask why.

 He hesitates again, and you feel his shoulder slump as thoughts run through his head. Whatever he settles on, he’s certain, and you can see it. His voice is almost sad when he admits, ‘After the game against New Jersey, I couldn’t stand the thought of you getting hurt. I couldn’t lose you on the pitch, because when you weren’t around, it was like I couldn’t get my head straight.’ He pauses, and then: ‘I’m sorry.’

 Rafe breathes slowly, carefully, but your heart is racing around your ribcage, threatening to break through. His words echo around your head as you try to make sense of them – make sense of the way he felt like it was more than just a admission of being a good team – make sense of the way he’s looking at you like he’s expecting more than a reaction to the recognition of your worth as a teammate.

 There’s a feeling in your chest that you can’t describe. It’s in your throat, in the back of your head, burning through your ears – a thought almost too scary to form, but then it does, and it refuses to leave.

 So you swallow the gulp in your throat and ask, ‘Is my being good on the pitch the only reason?’

 A beat. ‘No.’

 You nod, slowly, as if in a trance. His eyes are gazing into yours with intensity you’ve never felt before – it’s as if he’s asking you to say something, to do something, to show that you understand what he’s saying without saying it.

 And you do.

 You do.

 You nod, and your lips are on his before you get the chance to think this through. His hands are quick to grab your waist as your fingers get tangled in the soft waves of his hair, bodies pressing against one another in a heated rush.

 ‘We shouldn’t be doing this,’ he mutters, a moment before his lips find your neck, fingers slipping underneath your top, dipping into the skin on your back. You moan, a little too loud, and he laughs against your neck. ‘We really shouldn’t.’

 ‘Yeah, we shouldn’t,’ you agree, watching him as he pulls his head back to look at you, a dazed smile on his face. ‘My room or yours?’

 Rafe’s grin is enough to set your body on fire. ‘Yours is closer.’

 He kisses you again, a firm kiss planted on your lips, before taking your hand and letting you lead to your room. The moment the door is locked, your lips are on his neck, clothes are clumsily coming off on your way to the bed, and you only have a second to wonder how long this has been inevitable until his lips hit the right spot, and every thought is as good as gone.

 When you wake in the morning, you’re half-surprised to find him curled into your side, head resting on your shoulder and an arm draped over your stomach. He’s still asleep, and you take a moment to think about how calming—how right—it feels to be here, with him. The hotel room is nice, a quiet rose gold, and the light coming through the windows is making it almost ethereal.

 It doesn’t feel like a mistake. You’re still a bit angry about being pushed back, but things seem a little different now that you know he wasn’t trying to hinder you, but protect you.

 (You still need to tell him that you don’t need protecting; you know what you got yourself into when you decided to play the sport.)

 With a smile on your face, you start playing with your head. He wakes within five seconds, with the same dazed look on his face from last night. His eyes find yours and he pauses for a moment, as if he were taking it all in, before his lips find home in yours. Neither of you think about morning breath, or about the fact that you should both probably go for a shower before leaving the hotel, because Rafe snuggles into your shoulder, pressing butterfly kisses to your collarbone, as his hand traces circles around your stomach.

 You take it upon yourself to ask, ‘No regrets?’

 ‘None.’

 ‘You should have one,’ you tease, and only let him be frightened for a moment. ‘Pushing me into the back.’

 He sighs, burying his face in the crook of your neck. ‘Are we still arguing about that?’

 ‘We will be, until you let me play offense again.’

 ‘If it was you instead of Kiara yesterday, it could’ve messed with your leg,’ he says. Before you get to respond, he pushes himself off the bed so he can look at you. ‘I know your ankle is still hurting from New Jersey even if you’re not saying anything.’

 You can’t deny the truth.

 Rafe kisses your forehead. ‘Just promise me you’ll be careful.’

 ‘I always am.’

 ‘More,’ he says, breaking into a smile. ‘I need my partner back.’

 ‘If you promise to never make decisions for me without consulting me first.’

 He squints, as if thinking about it, but you can tell he isn’t. ‘I promise.’

 ‘Okay, then.’ You wrap your arms around him and pull him down, kissing him softly. ‘I promise to be more careful.’

 In the end, it’s like he promised – you go back to playing offense, in the front of every attack, and you and Rafe are back to being the dynamic scoring duo you’ve always been. Except this time this dynamic extends to beyond the field, and you support each other when the football isn’t around. Nobody is surprised by the turn of the events – you’re not entirely sure, but JJ passes Kiara a few bills when you and Rafe break the news to the team, and you think there was bets going around.

 Things get back to fine. Things get better. You end up winning the tournament, and Rafe kisses you with the cup in his hand, and the next morning, the headlines are full of your and Rafe’s names more so than your team’s, but that’s fine. You’ve made it.

 You’ve got everything you need – you just never thought it’d be no one other than Rafe Cameron, the Captain himself.

[chrkrose]

@knifeears we basically have a whole ass sex scene courtesy of you thank u for my rights everybody gather around let’s PAY ATTENTION:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I mean first we have some heavy make out session here with Jam already naked cause u know time is ticking and the world is ending might as well just get naked already. He’s trying to get Brienne there but GIRL IS SHY

Then things get INTENSE ™️ with my boy giving Brienne WHAT SHE DESERVES (click here to have a taste I mean a look) also ARE Y’ALL SEEING what I’m seeing up there? That’s right, Jam got the laces of her tunic undone so we know he has already paid attention to her tits ™️ hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I AM LOOKING

Then Jam Lan tongue game is SO GOOD that Brienne kinda forgets about getting shy and then we have her enjoying the half god she deserves the question is has Jam survived THOSE LIPS AND HANDS? Click here to tell me idk idk much to think about

Then we find out he indeed survived (barely) but things got WILD after that and they ended up on the floor for some reason and we got THE BANG aka sex ™️ as u can see here Jam is already lost in those eyes there’s no coming back for him anymore he’s gone GOOOOONE also hmmmmmm brienne’s legs super high on those hips eye-

Then here we get the after which is basically Jam staring at Brienne dreamily while baby girl blushes all the time ♥️

All the magnificent art by @knifeears​ my only contribution is to stare at them all the time

[idwithoutthesuperego]

DREAM OF ME

CHAPTER 04: Surprises at parties

SUMMARY: m!reader (Y/n) is an incubus, who enrolls into an state university, just outside Beacon Hills, a town that has a quite lively supernatural little community, even if the supernaturals themselves aren’t all aware. There, he meets a shy blonde guy who acts like he is half of himself, and a dark haired one who is loud and can’t keep his mouth shut to save his perfect little ass.

Tags: Teen Wolf AU. m!reader x stiles x isaac. Smut. Fetishes. College. Nsfw. Past mentions of abuse. Physical abuse. Drinking. Drugs. Angst. Fluff.

 Hey, I’m still alive. Just had a LOT of things from uni and work to do these last few weeks. But the new chapter is finally here !

Thanks for all of those who are reading and supporting ^^

The twins are back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up on party day feeling pretty refreshed. How you had missed feeding. It hadn’t been a full thing, since you hadn’t had sex and maxed the twins’ sexual and vital energy before feeding, but still. Maybe Eve wasn’t so wrong after all. But gods forbid she knew that, she probably would make a parade just to boast about it.

Getting up from the bed, you put on a fluffy robe and poured some expensive wine in a nice glass. You couldn’t get drunk, but you could still be dramatic about it and appreciate the taste.

And so began your morning of choosing what clothes you were going to wear to your “all you can suck out of” buffet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stiles was woken up by the sun making his bedroom way too hot, what meant it was already pretty late into the morning. And also by the buzzing of his phone with a text from Scott.

‘Don’t forget you are giving me a ride to the party

Think your crush will be there?

- S’

Before he could panic thinking about what he was going to do when he saw you, he panicked about the situation he had gone to sleep in.

He was butt naked, blankets on the floor, he had visible cum stains all over his abdomen and chest, his computer was beside him on his bed still paused on a very kinky porn video, and his dildo and lube were right beside it.

Thank god he had locked the door; because that was one talk he definitely could not have with the sheriff.

Red as beet, Stiles stashed everything away and scooted to the bathroom to get ready for the day. And if he had to get off in the shower remembering last night’s videos, well, no one was there to judge him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party began pretty early for your standards, right in the start of the afternoon, but you supposed the people wanted to make use of the heat and the nearby lake as much as possible. So you arrived fashionably late.

Stiles, on the other hand, had a task to complete, so he had arrived exactly on time with Scott, making his best friend look for you, even if he didn’t really know who you were. He had already pestered Scott about helping him choose his best boxers, in case he had to go swimming or ‘more than that’, and a shirt that showed off his “muscles” (there weren’t any really), and pants that made his ass look big and perfect.

Isaac arrived just after Scott and Stiles, but decided to get a drink and be a wallflower. That way people could see he was there, but wouldn’t go out of their way to talk to or bother him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not soon after you arrived, you could already feel the atmosphere, the particular one this kind of events always gave. It was like a small buzz on your skin of having all these people with so much sexual energy pent up, but being too prude and socially reprimanded to do something about it, so they resorted to alcohol and games. But it only made everything more interesting and tasteful.

Gods, how you missed the times when people would just gather around for a banquet and an orgy. It made things so much easier. Nowadays you had to use apps instead of getting an invitation on your door with a time and place.

But no matter, you cracked your knuckles, and let your aura begin to attract unknowing people into your presence.

Stiles soon saw you. He had lost Scott a few minutes ago, so no one to give him emotional support or tips for this. He decided that straightforward was the best strategy. So he got two drinks and marched towards you.

The only problem was, when he got to you and you two were face to face, he had no idea what to say, and you already had a drink in hand. So he stood there, looking at you, frozen in place, trying to come up with something.

When you saw the boy that had bumped marching away not really into your direction with two drinks in hand, you guessed he was just going to walk past over, but then he made a sharp turn and planted himself in front of you, saying nothing. You feel see his anxiety and lust, see how his cute innocent face was slightly red from embarrassment, so you waved your hand and the people near you quickly dispersed.

“Yes?”

“Hi! I was just over there, and thought that maybe you wanted a drink, because it’s a party and everybody wants to drink right? So maybe want to drink with me? But you already have one, and getting drinks from strangers at parties really isn’t so smart. So that’s it, I’m gonna go. Bye!” He rambled. This boy was a mess, a hot anxious mess, but a mess.

“Wait.” You held his arm, making him pause and look at you. “Stiles, right?” Getting a nod from him in response. “You know what? I need a drink…” You said pouring yours to the ground. “…and a cute guy just happens to have offered me one.” You finished, taking one of the cups from his hand.

“Yeah? Cool… Wait, how do you know my name?”

“Yesterday, when you ran into me, the twins said it.”

“Oh, yeah…” Stiles had been so entranced and embarrassed he hadn’t even noticed. “So, Ethan and Aiden are your friends?”

“Them? Not at all, they just offered to show me around, but we didn’t get along so well, so I dished then and went home right after.”

“That’s great!” he said before he could think. “I mean… that you didn’t spend too long with then, with Ethan…” He just blushed and looked at his drink.

“So, are you going to ask for my name too or are you just going to parade that hot look of yours away and make me guess?”

That comment almost made Stiles crush his cup and blush beet red. “Oh my God, sorry! Yes, what’s your name?! I mean, I heard the twins calling you, so I know, but not in creep way?”

“It’s (Y/n), nice to finally meet you.” You took a step closer, smiling.

Both of you spent some more time talking, well most of the time Stiles was rambling, but you thought it was cute. As time went on, and he started to notice you were giving way too clear signs you were into him, he got more comfortable. But the boy had practically invited himself to show you all over town in sort of dates.

-------------------

Nearby, Isaac was getting another beer and trying to avoid the crowd. Not that having 3 or even 10 would have much effect on wolf, but still. He was, however, ever so worried about the time. He couldn’t even enjoy being out, too deep into thought, because he was worried what his father would do if he knew Isaac was spending his day drinking on a college party instead of studying, cleaning the house or something considered useful.

And that’s probably how he got himself into a bad situation. Just as he was getting away from the crowd, the twins noticed him and started following. As soon as they far enough, they really approached Isaac.

Ever since they came into town way back with the alpha pack and were beaten by the Scott – Hale pack groups (Isaac included), they were the only ones left, so they held a pretty big grudge on them. Still, they couldn’t do anything publicly or face the head on. So they resorted to some bullying and pranks over time. Now, the wanted their own pack to rule, enough with all those alphas in one single town.

Ethan was the first to speak up, startling Isaac.

“Hey bro, look who do we have here? I think I smell loneliness and fear. Don’t you?” That only made Aiden smile and Isaac grip his bottle harder.

“What do the two of you want?”

“Oh my, so snarky, I guess Hale really didn’t want a brat as charity work on his pack hmn? Word around is that scarf boy here was kicked to the curb.” By now Isaac’s teeth were gritting and his eyes ready to flash yellow. He was holding himself, because he knew he couldn’t take an alpha, even less two.

“Is that so? Word around town is that not even his own father can stand him presence. That blondie is only good to be a punching bag and cleaning the house.”

That made Isaac’s blood run cold. He lost control of his grip on the bottle, squeezing it too hard. By now he was bawling the glass shards into a fist and could barely feel it. All he could think was ‘how could they know?’, ‘did Derek tell on him?’, ‘did his father brag about doing those things to him?’. Isaac wanted to run away, wanted to punch those two, wanted to do something, but he couldn’t move. What if they told on him? If world got out, what would people think? How would they look at him? It was too much to even imagine, he could feel the fear taking control of his mind.

“Is that so Ethan? If bitch boy is so useless no one wants him around, maybe we should just make everyone a favor and get rid of him? Bet not even dear old dad would miss him. We can just send a maid on his place and the coach won’t know the difference.” Aiden said with a creepy smile, cracking his knuckles and taking a few steps into Isaac’s direction.

“Wait Aiden, I have a better idea.” Stopping his brother with a hand on his shoulder. “Can’t you smell? His fear is so strong he is probably about to pee his pants. There is no need to kill him.” He took came even closer, by now he was at arm’s length from Isaac. “After all, if he is so useful, we could add him to our pack and keep him around. It’ll be good to let off some steam.”

Ethan was pretty sure he and his twin had different definitions of “letting off steam” when talking about this. But he did miss having someone to train (beat up) from time to time. And if this put them one step closer to having a big pack, all the more reason. “Okay.”

Isaac could already see their eyes flashing red, his flashing yellow in response. He was afraid and angry, but if alphas made him submit, there was nothing he could do.

-------------------

After realizing he had, yet again, accidentally and clumsy invited you to date out of the blue, Stiles wanted to crawl into a whole right there and hide until he died. He swore he was blushing so hard he wouldn’t even need a jacket for the chilly night ahead. But you were still there, and even laughing at his stupid jokes, so he also just wanted to lean in and snog your face off like a proper gentleman.

While trying to make not so obvious that he was looking very hard at your eyes, your crotch and you lips, he caught sight of Isaac. Which in itself was weird, the blond had been avoiding him and the pack for a while now, much more at these events. He really liked and cared for Isaac, even if they spent only a few moments together. And he knew Isaac cared for the people of his pack, even if he didn’t voice it to Scott. But one day, he just stopped going to Derek’s and started avoiding everyone. What he saw next sent flags on his head, the twins following Isaac to a desert part of the woods. Something was definitely up

He stopped talking and paying attention to you midsentence, turning to look for Scott. Fishing his phone he even tried to call his friend and send a quick text telling where he was but nothing.

“Hey Stiles, is everything okay? You look a little off.” You could feel it, but couldn’t really tell him.

“Sorry, yeah, I just saw someone I know; I guess they might need a hand. Be right back? I’m really, really sorry. Please be here later? Or I’ll call you? And if you see a brooding dark haired guy with kind eyes called Scott tell him I ran in that direction?” Was all he said, marching into Isaac’s direction. Of course, without giving you his number.

Looking at his big butt in those tight jeans running away, your only response was “For the gods, why do I have to be curious?” And went after that ass.

-------------------

By the time Stiles arrived, things were ready to turn sour. The twins had their eyes flashing against Isaac’s. He was already visibly struggling to keep standing up. So, he did the smartest thing he could think of, he threw his drink on Aiden and ran to Isaac’s side. That gave the blond a breather while the twins took a few steps back at the sudden turn of events.

“What the fuck?! Stiles? What are you doing here?” Aiden spat, looking at his soaked clothes.

“Why do you have to be everywhere? Doesn’t Scott keep you on a leash or something?” The other twin completed.

“And what about the two of you? Don’t you two have someone else to pick on?” Stiles responded half standing in front of Isaac.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but we were just getting to know our new pack mate.”

“Cut the crap. Isaac’s part of Derek’s pack. And if you don’t back down, he will go after you.”

Now it was Aiden who responded with an evil grin. “Didn’t you get the notice? Isaac boy was kicked out. Nobody wants him around anymore. So we are doing him a solid and letting him join us.”

“Is that true Isaac?” Stiles asked the boy crouching besides him. But Isaac couldn’t respond, what was he going to say? Tell the truth why he ran away from Derek’s pack? If he fought back, were the twins going to tell on him, on what his father did to him? Silence was all he could respond with.

Stiles wasn’t buying the twins words, but Isaac wasn’t even looking at him. And if they fought, well, he wouldn’t even be able to run very far to be honest. And run while carrying Isaac was even less of an option.

Aiden started to make his way to the duo, already fed up with Stiles presence. “Now get out of here, unless you want a bite as a farewell gift.”

Just as he was about to grab Stiles arm to yank him out of there, he suddenly felt a chill creep up on his spine. An arm was over his, another on his neck, both keeping him rocked into place, and you talking right beside his ear.

“Now, now, doing that wouldn’t be very nice would it?”

It all happened in an instant for them, one moment you weren’t there and then you were. As soon as Ethan noticed you, his claws came out and was about to dash at your throat. But as soon as his red eyes crossed with you incandescent ones, all he could feel was pain. He could barely move because of it.

Aiden, seeing his twin, tried to free himself, but couldn’t move an inch, your fingers on his neck starting to dig deeper and draw blood. You came close to his ear again and whispered “down boy”, which only made him angrier, before tossing him into a tree.

When you broke eye contact with Ethan and threw Aiden, the first could feel the pain going away, but didn’t move, not understanding what happened. As he got up, the second could feel some of his ribs had cracked on impact. While you made your way to a dumbfounded Stiles Isaac pair. The dark haired boy considered running again, but you had just protected both of them, so you weren’t just going to kill them. Right?

“You two okay?”

“Y-yeah… But how did you? When did you? Why…?” Stiles just darted his eyes from you to the twins, not really understanding everything.

Isaac put a protective arm in front of Stiles who was obviously lost in his own questions. “Who are you?”

“Yeah, who the hell are you?! And what are you?” Aiden followed, feeling his bones heal. You only smiled and turned around.

“Oh, don’t tell me the two of you already forgot? After you so kindly invited me to your room just yesterday?”

The twins stared at each other, but couldn’t remember you at all. So you looked to them and spoke a single word “… remember…” in a voice that sounded like an echo, eyes glowing again. And all of a sudden, some of the memories you had taken from them rushed back in, the kisses, them taking off their clothes, kneeling in front of you in their underwear, laying naked on the bed, posing for pictures. That made the twins loose some balance and get embarrassed at the recollection.

“Now, I and these two are going to leave. I trust you two aren’t going to follow. After all, I took some nice picks yesterday, wouldn’t  want those getting around.” You winked at the twins and extended a hand to Stiles.

Isaac didn’t know what to think of all of this, but Stiles seemed to trust you enough to take your hand. So when you did the same to him, he accepted the help to get up. Both of them following you to your car.

-------------------

 Comments, likes and shares are deeply appreciated!

 Tag list: (if you wanna be tagged just message me or send an ask about it ^^)

@kinoko-kai

[princessmadafu]

37 bleedin’ pages!

I have condensed them for you and left out most of the bits that the nasty evil British Press have already covered. Feel free to skip any boring bits.

Dax Shepard: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert's Experts on Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

Monica Padman: Hi.

[...]

There follows some heavy marketing of towels and stuff...

DS: Now please enjoy Prince Harry. We are supported by Brookelinen. My favourite hotel quality sheets to get into and writhe around in the nude. [...] They're impeccable. They're decadent, they're soft, they're absorbent. Brookelinen was started to create beautiful high quality home essentials that don't cost an arm and a leg. They're so confident in their product, they come with a 365 day warranty. So give yourself that comfort refresh you deserve and get it for less. Go to Brookelinen.com and use promo code 'expert' to get $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com and enter promo code 'expert' for $20 off with a minimum purchase of $100. That's Brookelinen.com, promo code 'expert'.

Pretty ironic really, as Harry wades into fake news and how advertising algorithms are ruining us...

DS:...It's like the algorithms on the internet. You can't compete with that, a human.

PH: You can't if you have the awareness of what it's doing to you. And the fact that it's learning, which is scary. And advertising has been going on for hundreds of years, but done really responsibly. The difference here is targeted ads. If ads have always worked for companies, you can put on the TV, you can walk away, you can come back, your involvement is switching on switching off or changing the channel. Whereas now with algorithms is there, it's just feeding your habits. And it's also reading through your emails and everything else. So it's getting to know you, like, it gets to know the decisions you're gonna make before you make them, then it creates this echo chamber of no pushback, of no context of nothing. It's just perpetuating and feeding the bias and the habits that you already have inside of you, which is terrible.[...]

Harry needs to learn about AdBlock and Ghostery and VPNs and Tor and DuckDuckGo and Smartpage and all the other clever little ways the computer-literate have of ridding their lives of unwanted advertising. I haven't seen an ad in years. The only person feeding my habits is me. It’s called personal responsibility. Maybe Harry still needs a Nanny but most grown-ups don’t. Oh wait, I forgot, the “Meghan&Harry Show” fans are all kids.

PH: [...] It's a computer. It's like, who wrote the algorithms? You guys did? Probably all male and all white.

Oooh, let's be sexist and racist, Harry! Did you ever hear of these women or are they too scary?

https://biztechmagazine.com/article/2012/05/mothers-technology-10-women-who-invented-and-innovated-tech

Then they discuss Naked Vegas (this guy Dax has a thing about nudity) and Harry in Afghanistan. And discuss a calendar of naked men that DS and MP put together - their favourite male bodies. What a good job it's only gloating over naked male bodies and not naked female bodies. It's apparently acceptable, for some reason. Harry doesn't know who the guys are.

DS: Monica makes this for me every year and it's a calendar of all my favourite bodies of friends.

MP: And they're all men.

DS: They're all men.

MP: And they're all gorgeous bodies.

[...]

And is Harry nervous talking about mental health? He shouldn't be, he's been banging on about it for years.

PH: Yeah. Was I nervous? No. Not so much nervous. But I guess on this particular subject around mental health. Yeah. For me, it's always a, unfortunately, today's world is quite a sensitive subject, not just for the people who are sharing. But ultimately, the subject matter itself has to be handled with care. [...] It ends up getting weaponized by certain people.

Weaponised by certain people? Like him and Markle, for instance. Neither of 'em has any talent so they weaponise their mental health. Big big mental health bombs loaded with word salad to lob at their own families and cause huge distress. Not nice, Harry.

PH: That's how I've always felt when it comes to projection. I mean, hatred is a form of projection, right? [...] We're not born to hate people. So it manifests itself over a period of time. And of course, it can come from unresolved pain, or being hurt continually, as a young kid or through adult life. But ultimately, there's a source to it. There's a reason why you want to hate somebody else.

Like his dad, his brother...

PH: And actually have some compassion for them. Which is really hard when you're on the receiving end of this, like, just vile, toxic abuse. But the reality is, is you say, flip it. [...] Every single one of us wherever we are, wherever we come from, there will always try and find some way to be able to mask the actual feeling and be able to try and make us feel different to how we are actually feeling, perhaps having a feeling. Right, because so many people are just numb to it. That was a huge part of the beginning of my life, which was like, I rejected. I said, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

And now he's moved on to promoting his new mental health stuff with Oprah, The Me You Can't See...

PH: So if you are making that conscious decision to say: You know what, it's not self serving, but I want to share my story. I'm being asked to share my story to hopefully help someone or loads of other people. I'm probably going to get trolled. I'm probably going to get attacked by the same people that were doing anyway. If I'm willing to make that decision, surely that comes from a place of courage rather than weakness?

Or possibly naivety. Harry is only wanted for his money-making title and royal status; he has no mental health qualifications, he's not a mental health professional, he's not an expert, all he brings to the table is the glamour of being a prince of the BRF. Which he quite clearly hates. Markle is lining her pockets from their self-indulgent mental health whinge fest and he's too dim to see it. There follows the bit about the spectrum of upbringing that the press is covering nicely so I can skip the next few pages - the bits where Harry says he doesn't see that talking about his own issues is complaining, and “it's the job, right”, how he never wanted the job of being royal, and his therapy and how “massively self-critical” he is (yet still can't see that he's not being honest with himself), ooh and sharing his hatred of the British press - that's a good bit, let's skip to page 18:

PH I think the biggest issue for me was that being born into it, you inherit the risk, you inherit the risk that comes with it, you inherit every element of it without choice. And because of the way that the UK media are, they feel an ownership over you. Literally like a full on ownership. And then they give the impression to some of their, well, most of the readers, that that is the case. But I think it's a really dangerous place to be if you don't have a choice, but then, of course, then people quite rightly will turn around and go. So what if you didn't have a choice? It was privilege? [...] Page Six of the New York Post, they took pictures of my son being picked up from school on his first day [...] But I guess my point is the way that I look at it, especially now living here one hour outside LA. Like it's a feeding frenzy here. We spent the first three and a half months living at Tyler Perry's house. You let us stay. And the helicopter helicopters, the drones the paparazzi cutting the fence like it was madness. And people out there -Their response was, Well, what do you expect if you live in LA? It's like, Okay, well, first of all, we didn't mean to live in LA. This is like a staging area before we try and find a house. And secondly, how sad that if you live in LA and you're well known figure, you just have to accept it. The first security we had, I said, Well, where's the safest place? Inside. Just because I'm a well known person, you can't go outside anymore. [...] it's really, really sad. And of course, their argument is - the paparazzi and everybody else - is like all if you're in the public space, then it's absolutely fine for us to do it. So what is our human right as an individual and as a family, you're saying that if the moment we step foot out of our house, that it's open season and free game? What? Because of public interest?. There's no public interest in you taking your kids for a walk down the beach. Nothing...

And on and on it goes... He should've stayed in the UK then. The Cambridges are managing very nicely, thank you. They take their kids for walks on the beach, and we'd never seen them until they released their anniversary video the other week. Harry's clearly envious of William; Harry's mad wife is vitriolically envious of Catherine. Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s the mad wife who keeps phoning her go-to paps when she needs to be in the news again.

PH: [...] I believe we live in an age now where you've got certain elements of the media redefining to us what privacy means. There's a massive conflict of interest. And then you've got social media platforms, trying to redefine what free speech means. Why - I wonder why you're doing that. And again - so this has been happening for 15 years now. And we're living in this world where we've almost like all the laws have been completely flipped by the very people that need them flipped so they can make more money and they can capitalise off our pain, grief, and this sort of general self destructive mode that's happening at the moment [...]

He doesn't get how hypocritical this is, does he? The Markles are the ones capitalising on their grief, pain and the rest of it. And no-one would be interested in them without the royal bits because they have nothing else to offer. Failed actress and used-to-be-a-soldier wrapped up in festering bitterness.

Blah, blah... went shopping in a supermarket... saw lots of chewing gum... blah, blah... Archie on the back of his bicycle... girls want to be princesses... You don't need to be a princess, you can create the life that will be better than any princess or it's something along those lines... she said she expected [the press] to be fair... Pages and pages of how he hates the British press...

PH: [...] And especially when you can't defend yourself so yes, I think when you marry into it, especially when it's one Princess Diana's sons there is a certain amount of 'okay what I'm actually letting myself in for?' But very few people actually know - apart from the Brits - how toxic that element of the of the UK press is.[...]

We're up to page 24 now, if you're still with me. Oh here it is, Harry's unconscious bias... What’s the betting the mad wife has scripted this bit for him?

PH: [...] So going back to the whole sort of travelling around the Commonwealth, I thought I knew, right, having been able to travel that much and meet so many and such a diverse group of people. I thought I understood life. Especially bearing in mind most of the countries I was going to were, most of the communities are going to were people of colour. But then I was really shocked once I started doing therapy. And that bubble was burst. And I started doing my own work, really - a lot of work - and started to uncover and understand more about unconscious bias. And I was like, wow, I thought since I screwed up when I was younger, and then did the work. I thought I then knew. But I didn't. And I still don't fully know. It's like a constant working progress. And every single one of us has it. [...] Everyone has biases, of all sorts. But I think it's a really important point, especially now, after everything's happened in the last year and a half, like the world is changing, the younger generation are driving it. And you've got to like a multi-racial, cultural sort of movement happening, which has never happened before. But unconscious bias is the way that I understand it, is, again, it's not something that's wrong with you. Right? And you don't have to be defensive about it. That's the thing. No one's blaming you. But the moment that you acknowledge that you do have unconscious bias, what are you going to do about it? Because if you choose to do nothing you're continuing to fuel the problem, which means that you're then heading towards racism. Whereas unconscious bias is actually something that is inherent, unfortunately, in every single one of us. But that it is possible to educate yourself to be more aware of the problems and therefore be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Markle's got him well-trained on this one, hasn't she. I wonder if he's read anything critical of the unconscious bias movement, or just repeating what he's been told to. Oh and then he goes off about being in the army...

PH: I loved it. I love wearing the same uniform as everybody else. I love being treated the same. I love the expectation of if you want to get that job, or you want that promotion, or you want to finish this race, it's all on you. There's no special treatment, you're not going to get any help. If anything, you're probably going to get treated the opposite because everyone thinks that you've had an easy life. And everyone's always helped you get to where you are.

But...but...but, Harry wasn't treated the same, there was special treatment, he was helped to get to where he was. He scraped a couple of poor quality A Levels and got admitted to Sandhurst because he's a prince. Good old Wikipedia says:

In June 2003, Harry completed his education at Eton with two A-Levels,[22] achieving a grade B in art and D in geography, having decided to drop history of art after AS level.[23] He has been described as "a top tier athlete", having played competitive polo and rugby union.[24] One of Harry's former teachers, Sarah Forsyth, has asserted that Harry was a "weak student" and that staff at Eton conspired to help him cheat on examinations.[25][26] Both Eton and Harry denied the claims.[25][27] While a tribunal made no ruling on the cheating claim, it "accepted the prince had received help in preparing his A-level 'expressive' project, which he needed to pass to secure his place at Sandhurst."[25][28]

PH: And then suddenly, like - while I was at school, I hated exams. And I promised myself I'd never do exams again. Then I joined the army of which is full of exams. I still promised myself I'm never gonna do it and then I end up flying Apache [...]

Gods, it's getting boring. Even the interviewers are zoning out. Still ten pages to go. Wish I hadn't started this, I could be out weeding. Weather's nice, not too windy... Do I deserve a quick G&T yet?

PH: Or worse, was they turn around and say, right, because last week, you're out the front. This week, you got to carry his bergan, I'm like - what, 30 extra pounds? Nooo. But it was, it was the most normalising experience or job that I could have ever hoped for. And then going to Afghanistan twice [...] And someone said to me very recently, from the moment that you're born into today's world, life is trauma, so the sooner that we actually acknowledge that but but [...]

A-a-a-a-and he's back on the mental health thing, PTSD or PTSI,

PH: Post Traumatic Stress Injury is like: Well, that makes sense, because I just saw my mate get blown out. But the other piece of this is, what we need to remember is, the lot of the recruiting that we do in the UK, comes from certain cities and certain homes, where there's childhood trauma. So what we collectively have already got inside of us, the trigger of seeing something happen in Iraq, Afghanistan can be the trigger. So everyone goes: Oh, it's because they were on operations, and because they saw their makeup blown up. It's like, no. [...] So that's what I've been working on for years, for the last five years, which is like, and it started in therapy of like, I don't want to lose this thing, because I think it's, I feel so connected to my mum. [...]

They move on to parenting, which the press is rubbing its hands over... Harry blaming everyone but himself and his saintly mother - Charles, HMTQ, PP... "They f*ck you up, your mum and dad". But not the mum bit. He can't push his mum off her pedestal.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse if you don't know Larkin's poetry. How much more? Nearly there. Monica loves The Crown and doesn't realise it's fictitious.

DS: [...]Well, Harry, I've really really liked talking to you. You're very charming. You're very intelligent. You're handsome, and I can't wait to see your torso.

MP: Thank you so much for coming.

DS: So I just want to remind everyone that May 21 on Apple Plus, you should check out Oprah and Prince Harry's 'The Me You Can't See'. I have to imagine it's similar to her book, which I just read, which is absolutely incredible 'What happened to you?' So everyone should check out 'The me you can't see' on Apple plus May 21.

And still Harry won't shut up... Shut up, shut up. Cut his mic. You don't have to read this last bit, they've already wound up the interview...He still won’t shut up.

PH: Yeah, we're moving from the physical to the emotional, right, physically. At the beginning of this pandemic, people were panicking. And there was that fight or flight like, ahh what do we do like lockdown, survival? Yeah. And now that the vaccines have been sort of, we're getting to the point where more and more people are being vaccinated, we're now in the emotional phase of what I read in the New York Times article was called languishing, which is really interesting. It's like the is the middle child between flourishing and depression. You just feel flat, and it's not depressed. It's definitely not flourishing. You lack the energy and the will, the motivation, all that kind of stuff. Because you're kind of sitting there going - Well, what happens next? And I think it's really important that we talk about languishing. And it was coined by someone I can't remember who but I think it was the journalist who wrote the story was Adam Grant. No, he didn't come up with it. Someone else came up with him, he wrote this, the most amazing article about languishing and the fact that how important it is to be able to talk about it because - look when it comes to mental health, we need to realise and accept that every single one of us have mental health. There's varying degrees, as we said, you've got the mental illness, and then you've got the sort of the awareness and the work that you can put in, like, Where do you want to be that we shouldn't just sit there and go: Oh, mental illness is once we are literally on the floor crawling around in the foetal position needing help. But for me, I don't think I need therapy anymore. But I wanted. And when I say therapy, I mean, actual therapy, sitting down having a discussion with someone. But I also mean like, nature, like going for walks, like throwing the ball for my dog down the beach and stuff like that. There are certain things around the world that are free, some you have to pay for, but ultimately go searching for the things that make you feel good about yourself. Like that's the key to life, get rid of the bad stuff, get rid of the hate, and just focus on the good. And your whole life turns around from that. I hate this idea. And I was one of them. I fell for it. Right? I didn't acknowledge that clearly what happened to me when I was 12 years old, losing my mom and all the other pieces that happened, the traumatic experiences that happened to me since then, I didn't acknowledge them, when perhaps - maybe I need to deal with this because if I don't, how the hell am I going to be a decent father to my son and my daughter? Like that awareness, I didn't have then. But again, we've got what - 40 experts as part of this series, and the Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, she's absolutely fantastic. And she was talking about this concept of mental health being sort of public health, right. Because the services are so limited. There's not enough money. The problem is actually immense. How can we all help each other rather than this: 'Oh, once I'm broken, or once I'm suffering, I have to go here.' And there's not enough rooms or spaces for the amount of people or the for the need, when actually you can get ahead of it, and work on the prevention by sharing and being more vulnerable with each other, and being able to process this grief or this loss, or this trauma that every single one of us have experienced and will experience. So anyone who's sitting there going: 'I don't have a problem, and I never will have a problem.' Well, you probably are already contributing to the problem, because you probably got your blinkers on, you probably created your own echo chambers. So I think it's a that, that's certainly what I've experienced for my own process, my own journey, my family and my friends and everybody else is. Anyone who thinks, oh, we're fine. You're the one who's like, willing to talk about it. It's like, yeah, I'm willing to talk about it and talking about it. And the financial element as well. We're pouring money into on the downsteam, when it's like, Can we just focus upstream? Yeah, we focus on one thing, like to me listen to Oprah was what was one of the reasons that this whole thing started was two of the biggest issues that we're facing in today's world, I think, is the climate crisis, and mental health. And they're both intrinsically linked. Basically if we neglect our collective wellbeing, then we're screwed. Basically, because we can't look after ourselves. We can't look after each other. We can't look after each other, we can't look after this home that we all inhabit. So it's all part of the same thing.

DS: Prince Harry, I don't say this lightly. I love you. Thanks for coming. This was great.

M: Thank you so much.

PH: Thank you very much.

Wish I'd done my weeding.

[kleines1904]

Imagine – Alex Morgan - Part red

My heart nearly broke all the bones to find its way out of my chest the first time I played for Portland. The Thorns were such a good and respected team in the US, it was always my dream to play in the NWSL, to play for them. Never would I’ve imagined that these years would be the best time of my life, especially the six months after my first season. Being the top scorer in the league opened a few opportunities, like playing in some European countries, but I decided against all of them.

 The reason for that?

 Pretty easy.

 Alex Morgan.

 I always believed that I wouldn’t fall in love with someone head over heels, that I’m independent, that I don’t need another person to be happy. Everything I needed was a ball, the cheering of the crowd in the background the second I stepped on the field, and my friends.

 I was so wrong.

 From the moment I met her I knew Alex would play an important role in my life. Being openly gay and supporting many foundations for LGBTQ+ soccer players made me one of the most popular players in the league. But the most important advantage: I didn’t need to hide who I was. Everybody in the team knew, it wasn’t weird at all (read: ‘Lesbians in the locker room? No problem’). When I got kicked out of my apartment, I had a few options, but Alex telling me she would love to have a roommate again shut out everything else. I can still remember the moment I told my friends back in Germany, everyone laughed at me for a whole minute before they realized I was serious about it.

 Alex being openly bisexual and single for a long time never bothered with hiding her beautiful, naked body at home. Sure, we did shower together a lot, ‘cause we were both playing for the Thorns, but walking around the apartment in nothing but a towel or even less was something different. I needed Christen to talk me into talking to Alex, and Tobin telling me she would do it otherwise, to actually girl up and tell the forward about my feelings for her.

 It took us five minutes to lay down on the couch and make out, I was never happier in my life. I never thought life could be this wonderful, that one could be this happy.

 I closed my easy smiling at all the memories. Biting my lip to stop a big smile spreading across my face I started playing with the tape around my left ring finger, realizing I’m not wearing my favorite ring. It was different every time I had to take it off, especially when I was playing for the German national team and Alex wasn’t by my side. When we didn’t start a game together with the Thorns, we always support each other from the bench or the stands.

 Today was different.

 It was the first match of the Women’s World Cup in France and while we had to play Alex and the team were busy preparing for their first match miles away. It certainly felt different without her, that’s why I was often caught playing with the ring around my finger (‘a promise ring’ Alex told me when she gave it to me on my birthday, I cried a little), my teammates really thought it was a good idea to record it and show it to the whole world on twitter. I will never hear the end of it from Tobin, Kelley and Christen…

 I took another deep breath when we got out on the field, knowing my teammates and my whole country needed me to be at my best tonight. While the national anthem was playing, I looked around the stadium. I didn’t sing, something I picked up from my good friend Megan Rapinoe, we both had our reasons for that. After the whistle blew to start the game I was in my zone. It wasn’t a surprise when I scored twice that game, always kissing my ring finger after a goal and thinking about the love of my life.

 /////

 “You did it! Semi-finales!” I laughed as I jumped in Alex’s arms.

 “You too,” Alex let me down slowly and kissed me on the lips before I could breathe in properly. Who needs to breathe when you can feel Alex Morgan’s lips on yours? “I’m so glad you’re here.”

 Behind her I saw Kelley shuffling around nervously, knowing she was anxious to finally walk over and get a hug too. Kelley, Christen and I knew each other from college, where we played together for years. Back then I was so inspired by the USWNT, if I had a say in it, I would play for them, unfortunately I’m not making the rules. Germany has a great team and I loved playing a big role within the team, but my heart always belonged to the NWSL and everything the USWNT stands for.

 “Come on in here.” I finally said when Kelley was about to bolt over and was only hold back by Allie who was shaking her head. Seconds later I was surrounded by my teammates and friends.

 “So, you have a few days off,” Alex began when everyone calmed down and Kelley was done teasing me about all the Instagram stories and twitter.

 “I do have a few days off, yeah.” I looked over at my girlfriend who wore the promise ring I gave to her, I smiled and tried not to blush when she gave me a kiss on check, despite us being in the hotel lobby where everyone could’ve seen it.

 “Okay so after we got some food, I need to show you something in my room.”

 “Is that so?” I stopped and whirled her around so I could look into her beautiful eyes, I saw her eyes shining with something and swallowed. “You have a room for yourself?”

 “Yeah.”

 “Oh.”

 Alex tugged at my hand, and a few seconds later I followed her out of the hotel. We dropped each other’s hands automatically and started walking to the vegan place Alex claimed being the best in Europe. My head was still clouded with her having a room for herself, which was rare. I felt a bit guilty when I only answered short, but Alex seemed to know what was going on, because she kept smiling and smirking at me teasingly.

 Playing a World Cup game is always exciting, but I can tell you, having a half-dressed Alex Morgan sitting on your lap is much more thrilling. My hands wandered to her sports bra while she was trying to get my pants off in a hurry, I had to laugh and break the kiss to help her because her fingers were shaking so much.

 Two days later I had to say goodbye, gaining a few hugs from the team again, but everyone knew we would see each other shortly after, because two days later it was the semi-finale: USA against Germany. I loved and hated everything about it.

 /////

 I ran out on the field with my teammates, enjoying the cheering of the crowd while we started our warm ups. A few minutes later I heard the crowd going wild again, I automatically looked up at the USWNT coming out on the field. Luckily, I was too focused to let a goofy grin take over my face when I saw Alex. She was also focused, as everyone else, this was a big game for our respective countries.

 When we walked to the locker room, I saw Pinoe running my way. With a big smile I hugged her and ignored the ‘I love you, but we’re gonna beat you’. Moments later I locked eyes with Alex, who smiled. My body moved on its own, while we hugged each other I heard the crowd around us going wild again. Being wrapped up in her scent made me take a deep breath, I never wanted this to end.

 “Good luck babe.” I said and smiled at her when we broke the hug. “Just stay healthy okay?”

 “Yeah, you too. See you after.” Alex replied and touched my shoulder again before she headed off to her teammates.

 /////

 It was the 30th minute when I saw one of my teammates break through on the wing, I instinctively stayed a few yards behind the defenders. Seconds later the ball came my way, I stopped it and dribbled around Julie, before I was in a good position and shot the ball right by Alyssa into the net. My heart skipped a few beats when I heard our fans cheering, but after a few seconds I held up my hands, signaling I won’t be celebrating much. My teammates jumped on my back yelling at me how amazing the goal was, and yes, I was proud, I was excited for us going to the finale, but we still had to beat the best team in the world.

 Only ten minutes later Christen scored a goal, I had to physically stop myself from walking over and congratulating her, and stopping the tears forming in my eyes. She has been through so much last year and now she scored such an amazing goal. Slowly I leaned down and took a deep breath, this was going to be the most difficult game in my life, and I would do everything for us to win.

 /////

 “Shit are you okay?”

 I wanted to scoff, but put my foot on the ground and hissed when I felt the pain. Becky looked at me apologetically, Kelley was also on her knees by my side, same as a few of my teammates. It was a mistake by Sam, who tried to play the ball right by me, but I was wide awake and stole the ball before it could get to Christen. Minutes before I did something similar and nutmegged Tobin, if it wasn’t for the whole world watching she would deny it till her death, but the counterattack ended with me only hitting the post.

 This time I waited for my teammates to get into the box and tried to dribble around Becky, who obviously wasn’t having my shit today. Just when I was looking up, I felt a sharp pain in my ankle and then my body fell on the hard ground. I knew immediately something was wrong.

 My breath caught in my throat when our medical signaled to the bench that I couldn’t play anymore. Becky walked away after I nodded at her, but everyone knew I wasn’t okay. I made eye contact with Alex, who was hovering close by. I could see how worried she was, I gave her a nod, even if the pain in my ankle didn’t stop for a second.

 Watching the following 20 minutes from the bench was hard. I know we had the potential to maybe get to overtime, but realistically I know they were too good. When I saw Lindsay kicking the ball inside and Alex being a bit faster than her opponent, I know she would score. My heart sank into my stomach, I knew this would most likely be our last game, they wouldn’t give away a 2-1 lead.  

 “Wow, bold.” I heard someone mumbling beside me. When I looked at Alex, I saw her making the tea sipping celebration we talked so much about. I smiled, truly happy for her.

 When the final whistle blew, I slowly stood up and hobbled on the field. I had to comfort a few of my teammates, especially the ones who played their hearts out tonight for 90 minutes. After I limped to the circle in the middle of the field, I listened to our coach saying a few words. In this moment it all became real; we hadn’t made it to the finale. My whole body screamed at me, after the long tournament, the physically and emotionally exhausting game days, it seemed like it was all for nothing.

 The following minutes flew by, I could only breathe again when I saw Alex walking my way. She had that little smile on her face I loved so much. She was also still worried, because she looked at my ankle, which I still couldn’t put weight on, and up to my face again.

 “Congrats babe,” I mumbled when I put her into a long and emotional hug. We didn’t let go of each other for what seemed liked minutes. “I’m good, don’t worry. Your goal was so great.”

 “Thanks.” Alex buried her face into my neck, before she took a step back and looked down again. I rolled my eyes. “But, you can walk, right?”

 “I can.” A smile took over my face, her voice was rougher than usual, due to all the screaming on the field.

 “Thank god. Becky just tried-“

 “I know,” I interrupted. “don’t worry about it. You’re going to the final, and it’s your birthday- happy birthday by the way.”

 “This is the fifth time you’re congratulating me today.” Alex laughed a bit, she still had her arm around my waist while I was leaning on her, only partly because of my hurt ankle.

 “I don’t care.” Her eyes sparkled when I grinned at her. “And now go and celebrate with your team, prepare for the Netherlands.” I ignored Alex rolling her eyes about me being diplomatic again when she helped me stumble to the sideline. “You deserve it. I will call you tomorrow, okay?”

 “Okay babe.”

 Alex made sure that someone was near me to help me go to the locker room when Kelley and Tobin came over. We talked for a few minutes before we parted ways. I took one last look at the stadium and then at the team across from us.

 I knew they would make it.

 /////

 If someone would ask me what has been worse, my still injured ankle or sitting in the stands while your girlfriend and most of your best friends are playing a World Cup final, I wouldn’t know the answer. Every time the US was close to scoring a goal I stood up, at one point I couldn’t even feel the pain in my ankle anymore, I was too excited and too anxious.

 Alex had a few chances to score, but it took a defender trying to kick the ball away from her high in the air to start the game entirely. I worriedly watched as Alex still laid on the ground, even from this distance I knew she was hit. I could breathe again when Alex stood up and Pinoe scored, we were on our way.

 A few minutes later I frowned when the Netherlands had a few breakthroughs, luckily without scoring, Alyssa made sure of that. A counterattack lead by Rose brought Alex into a good position, she stopped and dribbled by the defender, before she took a shot. I jumped out of my seat when she scores, my hands held high, before I gave my ring a kiss. When I looked back down Alex formed a heart with her fingers and hold it my way, it was the first time a tear escaped my eyes since we lost in the semi-final.

 /////

 Everyone around me was smiling, laughing, having the time of their lives. Pam, Alex’s mum had her arm around me while we watched the players on the field getting their gold medals. I’m sure at least five different cameras caught the moment, but I didn’t care. Alex and I loved our privacy, we tried not to kiss and being overly romantic in public, just because we thought it was something between and for the both of us. It was even more surprising when she came running to the stands after the game and immediately pulled me in for a long and passionate kiss. At that moment I didn’t even care about the headlines in the morning, or the possible hateful comments, I was so proud of my girl that I could only grin, she deserved it. They deserved it.

 That smile dropped from my face when I stood in front of Pam’s car minutes later. I had to blink a few times and look at my phone again, but Alex really did just do that.

 “What are you looking at sweetie?” Pam asked, I jumped and locked my phone before she saw what her daughter just did in front of the whole world. The dancing, the champagne, Jesus Alex.

 “Nothing, just- they are celebrating.”

 “Sure they are.” Pam eyed me, before she helped me into the car. It was definitely inappropriate to have these kinds of thoughts while sitting in your girlfriends’ parent’s car, but, damn it Alex.

 /////

 During the drive to the party location I had to laugh too hard and too often at the different Instagram stories the USWNT posted, Pam literally took my phone away because she nearly drove us off the street due to my emotional outbursts. She ignored me pouting like a pro.

 The second the door busted open I knew we were in for a long night. I got a lot of videos and pictures from the girls celebrating, hence the motherly act from Pam to separate me and my phone, but it was so much better live. Kelley screamed into my ear when she hugged me, already wasted but still thoughtful to not step on my injured ankle. After she ran off to her girlfriend, I was pulled into a hug by Christen who gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

 “I’m so proud of you.”

 “And I’m proud of you.” She leaned into me while we watched Tobin who talked to her family. I literally couldn’t put into words how proud I was of my friends. Then I caught a glimpse of Alex who already had two wine glasses in her hands and bit my lip.

 “Is everyone really that wasted?”

 “Because of the nonstop drinking for two hours and the ignoring-concussions-thing going on?” Christen and I looked into Kelley’s direction, who was oblivious while she chugged down a beer. “Yeah.” She laughed while I pushed her softly in the direction of Tobin, who couldn’t stop glancing over at us. I could see how happy she was to have Christen by her side again.

 “Hey babe.” I whipped around to look at Alex, still with two glasses in der hands while I had hardly touched the beer her father gave me minutes ago.

 “Hey Champ.” I laid my arm around her and gave her a soft kiss, but this obviously wasn’t enough for both of us. Alex circled her arms around my waist and opened her mouth while we kissed, I couldn’t breathe for a moment. After a full minute of kissing her passionately I felt a tap against my shoulder and smiled while I took a step back. Alex pouted, but Tobin didn’t look that impressed while she pointed at all the cell phones around us.

 After I congratulated everyone on the team and staff, I sent Alex off to keep partying. She didn’t really want to leave my side; I couldn’t decide if it was for her being protective of me or her not being able to walk straight anymore (as if ever). She was seriously drunk.

 While everyone took pictures of the team dancing on the counter, I only had eyes for her. I felt a bit embarrassed when I caught myself being grateful for the USWNT winning the World Cup. I would’ve given everything for us to win, but I’m also glad that my best friends get to have these moments together. By the looks of a few of them, especially Alex, Julie, Kelley and Rose I knew they would be hangover tomorrow and the days after (read: please, drink water).

 I knew that a week, months or even years later we would look back at this tournament knowing it was one important milestone for so many things. But the most important one for me: My girl was world champion, again.

[roaminginspiration]

Before The Last Grain

Chapter 2 

chapter 1 (x)

2 MONTHS, 8 DAYS, 12 HOURS, 3 MINUTES AND 57 SECONDS

Steve groans slightly as his eyelids remain shut tight. He pulls his hand from under his pillow and stretches his arm out across the mattress. The void space next to him is sourly cool, and has been for a while. He sighs and flips over on his back. The past 3 weeks, and many nights over, Natasha has left nothing but the shape of her figure and the subtle scent of her perfume into his cotton silk; and heated memories to stretch the night and seep into the next morning.

Natasha never stays longer than necessary or longer than she intends to. She usually sends a text less than an hour before her impromptu visit, makes the bed her own then slips off the warm sheet to disappear into the starless night.

And every new shortened night deepens his yearning for her. So he gives more. Every embrace becomes more passionate, eager…and maybe, to some extent, desperate. He wonders if she can feel how every burning kiss, every lingering caress, every lustful union of their bodies conceal the mute disquiet slowly burgeoning inside him. How every ardent gesture is begging for her attention.

Yes, the past three weeks have been the most uncanny combination of consuming thrill and quiet agony. One that leaves him insatiable.

But those are Natasha’s terms for this innocent, harmless fling to endure. And Natasha is very much in control. From the moment she texts to the moment she slips away, she is the one leading the dance. Bold and unapologetic.

He liked it, at first. Very much so. Fantasizing about, and never knowing, when and how their next sexual escapade would take place. But what excited him now frustrates him. Harmless to her only, it seems. For he can feel it. The kisses she returns are as steamy as they are hollow. They’re nothing but the thrill of satisfying a carnal need but they lack warmth and closeness. She gives but doesn’t engage. Her sensual generosity only reflects her emotional indifference.

Maybe he’s never been one for those meaningless hook-ups. Lying in the dim room lit by the city lights glowing through the wide window pans, her absence only emphasizes his solitude. He’s gotten used to it — tomorrow morning, mind deep into his cases, the feeling will wane. He rolls over and pulls her cold pillow to him. Wrapping his arm around it, her familiar scent swirls up his nostrils and eventually drifts him to sleep.

A couple of days later, his phone beeps.

You free tonight? I’m starving

He smiles sternly.

Come on over. I’ll cook. 7 pm?

The screen of his phone flashes a few seconds later.

It’s a date ;)

The following evening, they’re sitting at the kitchen island with jazz music playing in the background.

“How was your day? Did you have to deal with one of Tony’s shenanigans?”

He smiles. “Oddly enough, Tony has been quite all right lately. Overall, a quiet and peaceful 36 hours.”

She chuckles. “Fingers crossed he passes the 48 hours bar,” she says before taking a new mouthful from her plate.

“Let’s not jinx it,” he jokes then rubs his hand over his forearm propped on the table. “How about you?”

She nods while swallowing with a smile then sweeps her hair over to the other side. “Just rehearsing. I’m giving a concerto in Toronto in about two weeks.”

“Sounds exciting.”

His eyes instinctively fall on her fingers, elegantly wrapped under her chin. He can see she has the hands of a pianist: strong and graceful, fingers long and slim.

“It’s mostly lots of practice, discipline, and resilience,” she comments with a shrug and reaches for her wine. Her fingers beautifully wrap around the glass. She gets pensive. “When I get on stage and hit the first key, that’s when it becomes all worth it.” She pivots on the stool and smirks cheekily. “When the audience claps and breaks into a pool of tears, well that’s the cherry on top.”

She comes off the stool and wanders across the penthouse over to the lounge room, past the fireplace to stand in front of the large windows facing the river and Manhattan.

“This view is humbling,” she murmurs in awe like she is seeing it for the first time. “I can see why you’d want to live in Brooklyn.”

He gets up and watches her closely, eyes locked on his own humbling view.

“The main reason I chose Brooklyn is I grew up here — I wouldn’t see myself living anywhere else. But I admit the view was quite a compelling reason to sign the lease.”

She falls into silent contemplation. She doesn’t notice but her fingers slowly begin to play the notes she’s quietly humming under her breath, spontaneously creating the first beats of a melody. It’s fascinating to watch.

She nods to herself, gaging the first draft in her mind before stopping altogether to lock it safely in a corner of her memory.

“Where were we?” she asks with a purring voice. She swings around and gently leans on the glass. Her glass of wine hanging at her side, the fingers of her other hand wonderingly trace a line up along the side slit of her skirt.

“If you’re still hungry, I have dessert in the fridge,” he says, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

It makes her laugh. She drops head back onto the window glass. She pauses as she seems to gather her thoughts.

“You’re not like the other guys, you know that? You’re there, watching me sheepishly from across the room. It’s kinda hard to read you right now.”

He puts his glass down and walks over to her. He comes to stand in front of her.

“It’s not that hard, actually. All you have to do is ask.”

The corner of her mouth goes up a little. She tilts her head slightly and eyes him. Daring, yet hesitant.

“Ok. What are you thinking right now?”

“That I’m the luckiest guy in Brooklyn tonight for having such charming company. For the most part. But I must admit, also clueless, as to how the night will end.”

“How do you want it to end?” she cocks an eyebrow.

His hands are in his pockets. His pupils are locked on her. Calm and collected.

“You know how.”

It makes her smile and look away. Her expression changes slightly, turns unexpectedly wistful.

“This is just a game, Rogers. Just play along.”

“Except I don’t know the rules of it.”

She bites her thumb friskily. “There shouldn’t always be. Life is complicated enough.”

He glances away and nods to himself.

“Right. Then uncomplicate things. What’s going on right now?”

She shrugs innocently. “I’m just a woman, with a breathtaking view of Manhattan lying behind, looking at an attractive man she wants to lie in bed with.”

Electricity sparks around them and the short space between their bodies, pulling them together like magnets. Their lips crush together, invasive and devouring. Her free hand pins his waist against her. His mouth trails along her jaw to the nape of her neck — a particularly erogenous spot of her body as he’s learned. A moan escapes her lips as her arm jerks away and she presses the palm of her hand against the cool glass, sending chills along her flustering body.

She pulls him away and catches her breath. Natasha glances behind him and a mischievous smile comes to her lips.

“Doesn’t literally have to be a bed, though.”

Pressing her hand against his chest, she leads him along to the couch nearby. He trips over the edge and falls flat on his back. He leans on his elbows as she puts her glass of wine down on the coffee table nearby. She then climbs on the sofa and straddles him.

She’s already unbuttoning his shirt before he has time to voice any of his lingering concerns. All of them mellow into an unsound mush. All he feels and grasps right now is the growing and overwhelming longing, primal and imperial. His hands are mirroring hers, pulling her top off of her.

_____________________________________

The sizzling sound of the fireplace can only be heard between their lusty moans.

These same flames have lost in intensity a few hours later as they both lie naked on the rug by the fireplace. Lying on her stomach, her red hair, down and wavy, fall loosely on the side of her face as her fingers fiddle with the corner of the cushion her elbows are propped on. Her legs crossed, up in the air.

Steve watches how the warm incandescence from the fire shimmers over the curves of her flawless figure. The nib of his pencil is tracing soft lines over the paper, his sketchbook steadily pressed between his fingers. For the past hour and a half, he has been fighting off sleep in an inane attempt to prolong this evening. Maybe drawing her is a way to keep a piece of her with him, even long after she will be gone. Embossing this memory of her onto the thick paper with lead.

Natasha doesn’t seem to mind or give it much interest. She lets herself be his muse for the night.

But his keen eye gets heavier, and so does the hand holding the pencil. He can feel he’s losing his fight against sleep.

“Do you have many of your other conquests in that book?” she eventually asks.

Eyes fixed on his sketch, he smiles. “You’re the first actually.”

He has just finished tracing the small of her back, blissfully vertiginous, and is going on to outline the curve of her bottom.

She drops her head onto the cushion and smirks. “Will you let me see it?”

“We’ll see about that,” he comments lightly, focused on his task.

“You know this is possibly the most artsy thing ever. Can’t be topped…unless I just jumped and went to compose a new symphony, in the nude.”

“Well, I don’t have a piano. We can always ask the neighbor downstairs to let you use his.”

 “You’re a good guy, Steve. Any woman would be happy to have you,” she comments detachedly. “You should get yourself a Watch and wait for your girl. Just as she is.”

His eyes fall on the one handcuffed around her wrist. He watches the seconds tick by in dooming silence.

His expression turns serious. “I used to wear one,” he says, still drawing.

Natasha’s eyes swiftly lock on him. “Why did you take it off?”

“I wore it for many years. And then it just deactivated.”

Her features stiffen. Everybody has heard of it, and dreaded it. The loss of your soulmate. No message flashing on the screen, no comfort — just a blank screen. The Watch turns off forever, lifeless. No second option, no new Watch. For the wearer, the absolute certainty they will never meet their other half.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

He shrugs. “It’s okay. I managed to pull a few strings with people working for the Watch company and they traced back the code to her. Car accident. Her funeral happened to be a couple of days later and I attended the service,” he tells the story with a collected expression. “A British immigrant. Her name was Peggy Carter. And that was the end of it, really.”

The end of it before it had even started. It’d felt weird. Feeling a sense of loss without suffering any actual lack. You’re not emotionally affected and yet you’re grieving. Grieving for a person that was not from your past, but was supposed to fill your future. Grieving your own fate probably.

“Anyways, that was a while ago; and as strange as it sounds to say, I moved on.”

He smiles and she mirrors it, except weakly. The conversation then shifts to lighter topics.

He’s halfway through drawing her crossed calves when his eyes, burning with exhaustion, force him to surrender. He closes the sketchbook and drops in on the coffee table behind him. He reclines on the floor, head tilted in her direction. He watches her intently. She shows no ounce of exhaustion as shown by the swift motions of her fingers.

“You’re gonna leave, aren’t you?” he asks dozily. Her pupils dart in his direction.

“Don’t fret about it. It’s not worth it.”

“You know you could just take the key,” he says slowly. “I have a spare in the kitchen drawer. Since you’re gonna sneak out you might as well want to lock the door.”

She chuckles.

“You never asked where I live,” she muses aloud.

His eyelids are drooping like heavy curtains.

“Because I know you’re not ready to tell me.”

She pouts and mumbles her thumb.

“Oh dear, you really held on long this time,” she says to herself. Her voice seems to come from miles away.

Her figure turns blurry and his sight gets obscure.

“You’re gonna leave, aren’t you?” he manages to voice weakly.

Her figure leans over him.

“Good night, Rogers,” she murmurs then her lips gently graze his as he drifts to sleep.

The next morning, when he wakes up at dawn, the fire completely extinguished, he’s alone. He sighs, grabs his book and finishes the sketch, trying to revive the blazing night.

Natasha disappeared like the most ethereal fantasy. She answered his texts only briefly, in a detached way. And he soon understood he’d scared her away.

She doesn’t visit again.

Days go by and he resumes his normal routine. Work, social gatherings, and home. He sits on his couch, silently watching the skyline standing in front of him.

He catches himself missing the time when she would sneak out of his apartment. At least, he had her for a few hours then.

Over a week later, he’s in his bed. He puts a file down and looks at the clock. He remembers this is the night she is performing in Toronto.

He’s been asleep for many hours. He doesn’t hear the muffled sounds in his room. Then two arms come and drape over his bare back. The skin is slightly cooler from the soft wind outside. The familiar scent of her perfume hovers above him and lulls him.

She presses her body against his, spooning him, and lies the side of her face on his warm, soft skin.

He doesn’t want to open his eyes. It is too blissful of a dream to risk ending it and waking up to a disappointing reality. He lays his hand on her knuckles then holds it gently.

Next, they both sleep…until the end of the night. And beyond. 

The first time they sleep together.

1 MONTH, 27 DAYS, 11 HOURS, 18 MINUTES AND 16 SECONDS