#I knew some episodes from season one and my little sister became obsessed with it like a year ago | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

haitaniapologist · 3 years ago

Text

FAVORITE CRIME.

pairings — hanma shuji x female!reader, past baji keisuke x female!reader.

genre — angst, a little bit of fluff.

warnings — an unhealthy obsession with using dashes instead of commas, sentences with strange structures and grammatical errors because english isn’t my first language, SPOILERS for episodes 21 and 24 of the first season of tokyo revengers, SPOILERS for chapter 74 of tokyo revengers and the black dragons arc, major character death, gunshots, blood, minor injuries, gang violence, manipulation, mentions of an abusive father, a sex scene, breeding kink (i think), pregnancy mention, kisaki tetta is his own warning.

word counting — 10.3k

songs — favorite crime, olivia rodrigo / le parole lontane, maneskin / i love you so, the walters / dynasty, miia.

notes — tagging @aetheriaess <3 this wasn't supposed to be this long, but as always, i couldn't help myself. if i forgot to put any warnings, let me know! i'm also thinking about doing a part 2 with what will happen to shuji's and y/n's relationship, so let me know what you think! as always, comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated <3

find part 2 here !!!

DARK CONTENT AND NSFW THEMES UNDER THE CUT, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!!!!!!

you always heard people saying that mothers always knew what was better for their children.

as the oldest of two and fatherless since you were five, you always listened to your mother. she had something in her blue-green eyes that emanated wisdom and tenderness, and you felt safe to share with her anything that was troubling you. maybe it was because she had to take care of two children alone at the tender age of twenty-five after her husband died in a plane crash, or maybe because the exact same pair of blue-green eyes you knew were always with a glint of mischief in them — which belonged to your brother, chifuyu.

it was because of him that you met your first love, baji keisuke.

you remembered it being a sunny day. you and your brother normally walked back together from school to home since he became a middle schooler like you, but that day, chifuyu said he would stay at school later than normal — you didn't question him, because he probably had detention. you walked home with a friend of yours, and after helping your mom with some chores, you started to do your homework. you were already at the end of it when you noticed chifuyu hadn't arrived yet. he said to you before the school year began that it was annoying to have his older sister nagging him, and now that the two of you were going to the same school again, you needed to understand that he wasn't the same kid that used to cry when he saw homeless cats — he was a delinquent now, and, a feared one. but you couldn't help yourself and be worried about him.

trying to not alarm your mom, you told her that excalibur — chifuyu's black cat — was missing, and you were going to look for him so when chifuyu came home, he would not need to worry about his cat. it wasn't a total lie, but you knew that the cat liked to hang out in an apartment on the fifth floor of your building and he probably was there.

but what you did not expect to see when you were going down the stairs was your brother and a boy, probably your age, that was quite familiar, sitting on the steps and sharing a yakisoba.

chifuyu, from what you could see, was quite beaten up, and you bit your words — he was deserving of a scolding, but you thought being beaten up was enough to hurt his ego for that day. and, of course, you wouldn't show your older sister's side yet to such a cute boy.

you blushed when he smiled at you and introduced himself as baji keisuke, chifuyu's classmate and your neighbor.

“oh!” you exclaimed when baji said what apartment he and his mom lived in. “you're the person that excalibur, our black cat, likes to hang out with?” the question left your lips before you could think, and the laugh that baji left out of his lips made your heart race.

“excalibur? his name is peke j!”

that night, when you and your brother went home, your mother could see that something changed in your behavior. you were distracted, with a smile that never left your face, and blushing every time chifuyu mentioned mrs. baji's son. when you two went to sleep, she stopped in front of her husband's altar, her smile filled with longing. “our girl grew up so fast, dear. you would be proud of her.” she could tell you're in love. she used to be the same when she first met her husband, and she remembered her own mother telling her that.

yours and keisuke's relationship progressed smoothly. he was born in the same year as you were, but he was held back in school, thus being in the same school year as chifuyu. you didn't mind tutoring him when he needed — you loved being in his company, and by helping him you could win the favor of your teachers too. it was a win-win situation, for both of you.

baji was so lovestruck by you that even the toman members noticed that something changed in his behavior, but he kept his distance, respecting the fact that you were his — now vice captain — friend's sister.

but everything changed on a cold night of january in 2005.

you didn't care about your brother being in a gang. that meant that he wasn't alone anymore and had friends, but you still worried about his well-being and always patched him when he came home bloodied and beaten up — anything to not burden your mom and to make her worried about chifuyu. however, you knew he was safe with keisuke, as you made him promise that he would take care of him when he asked your permission to make chifuyu his vice captain. but gang life was still a dangerous one, you came to realize.

chifuyu softly called you from the kitchen, and you found that strange. he always just crashed in your room when he needed medical assistance, to not wake your mom, and that was when you noticed something bad happened.

but not to chifuyu.

keisuke was sitting at one of the kitchen's chairs with very bad wounds, his lower lip open and one his eyes bloodied and swollen, and you feared you couldn't help him much. but you took him to your room nonetheless, not caring about the implications, and tried to do the best you could with the experience you earned with chifuyu. when you finished, baji's wounds were better than they were when he arrived.

too lost in your own world, you and keisuke never noticed chifuyu leaving you two alone, or how your faces were closer than usual — none of you two knew who leaned first, but you never expected your first kiss' taste to be of blood and antiseptic.

but baji keisuke kissed you as if your lips provided him the sweetest drink, the oxygen he needed to live — and you kissed him as if he was your salvation, as if kissing him would end any wars inside your head.

to be baji keisuke's girlfriend was almost a dream. he was a gentleman, and treated you as if you were made of porcelain — always took you on dates when you were least expecting it and always gave you his jacket when you were cold, and you loved being in his presence, even if almost every night he would crash in your room for you to patch him. but those nights were the best, and you wouldn't trade them for anything. just to be in baji's arms for one night was enough to make you happy for the rest of the week.

you met all his friends and became friends with them too — the toman boys became your adopted brothers, much to chifuyu's dismay, jealous that his sister wasn't just babying him anymore — and he made you know the taste of breaking the rules, laughing loudly at your worried face when you did something you were sure would earn you two weeks worth of being without your cellphone as a punishment from your mom.

keisuke made you feel every kind of feeling that existed in the world. from pure adrenaline of riding with him on his bike late at night, way past the speed limit, to everlasting love — even though you didn’t understand fully what you were feeling for your black-haired neighbor. and you were the same with him. you made baji softer, and less impulsive — to see tears falling down your beautiful checks every time he went home bloodied and bruised made him think twice before picking fights with anyone that crossed his way.

but, at the halloween of the same year, your first love died in the arms of your brother, one of his hands on your cheek, and saying he wanted to share one last yakisoba with the youngest matsuno after expressing his love for you one last time.

—

hanma first saw you as baji keisuke's cell phone wallpaper.

he didn't mean to pry on his newest member's phone, you see, but when he saw the image of a pretty girl looking at him as if he was everything she desired, he couldn't help himself. and well, he could always say he was inspecting the phone to prove that baji wasn't a toman’s spy, like many in valhalla believed he was. first, he saw all the photos baji had of you on his phone. most of them were of you doing mundane things — doing the dishes, studying, playing with a black cat. some others were of you two on dates, you all dolled up for that fool and looking at him as if he was the one who hung up the stars in the sky only for you to look at.

and then, he went to the messages.

the last message baji sent you was the day prior, saying you and him were breaking up. what an asshole, shuji thought, seeing how you still tried to contact him desperately.

but the loss of a man was the gain of another, and hanma shuji was sure that he would win so much over that fucker's loss.

the first time shuji saw you, in flesh and bones, glossy eyed and with hair that smelled like roses, was on the same day he saw your photos — the day baji keisuke became his subordinate in valhalla.

he didn't mean to pry. you were only there to help your brother and nothing more, but when you tried to make conversation with baji — asking him what happened and why he did that to someone he called his friend, he felt his heart race up at the sight of your tear streamed face and trembling lips. you were the most beautiful girl hanma's golden orbs have laid upon.

however, he knew it wasn't the time to make you his yet. as much as he wanted to take advantage of your emotional state after a break-up, he had a feeling that he should do things right with you. after all, you were well versed in the world of the delinquents — as your brother was the vice captain of toman's first division, you weren't like the other girls hanma hooked up with. you wouldn't fall so easily for his sweet words and puppy eyes with bloodied lips. hanma needed to trust that kisaki's plan would succeed.

then, you would be his.

the second time he saw you, it was the 31st of october — the bloody halloween. hanma couldn’t do much that day. he was valhalla’s leader, and he wanted to fight — and you arrived just when the fight was almost over, and your face was the last thing shuji saw before mikey knocked him. but it took everything in him to not follow you everywhere and know all the places you liked to hang out and who were your friends after he first saw you, and wait to the day valhalla would crush toman. even though the opposite happened — not that he or kisaki cared, as winning or losing wouldn't interfere in the latter's plan — baji keisuke was dead, and the path to your heart was free, and only for him.

shuji knew he should go slow with you at first, but he didn't care. all that matters was what he would gain to be a patient and caring man — you.

—

the first time you saw hanma shuji was in the toman meeting after keisuke's death.

you didn't want to be there. the memories were still fresh and painful in your mind, and you could hear keisuke's laugh and loud words even if he wasn't there.

but what was worse was the pitiful looks of everyone towards you.

it was too much, but you needed to be there for your brother. he told you it was going to be important — he and mikey would announce who was going to take baji's place as captain of the first division, and, as one of the holders of his last words, chifuyu thought he would want you to be there. as he used those words, back at home, your heart clenched and your vision started to blur with warm tears. keisuke liked to bring you to toman meetings, either to brag about having the prettiest girlfriend in the world, or to take you on long rides after it was over. going to one of them without any of those things was strange.

everything had been strange since he left.

you didn't feel like yourself — the empty eyed and unhappy girl you saw in the mirror was a bitter shell of the girl you were before — but you still got dressed up to the meeting, nonetheless. emma would be there, and you were sure she would be a good company to take you out of your depressing thoughts.

but the sound of chifuyu's engine, instead of keisuke's, was something you weren't prepared for.

you cried all the way to the shrine, and everyone could see how bad you were feeling. mitsuya's hug, draken trying to put a smile on your face and emma bringing you a new shade of lipstick to cheer you up and her warm hands stroking your cheeks to stop the flow of tears — and even the small smile you and mikey exchanged before the start of the meeting — made your heart warm, knowing that your friends would be always there for you.

the meeting started, and you almost threw up at that staging of valhalla's leader, mikey, and kisaki. chifuyu didn't fill you in on everything that happened, but you knew that kisaki dude was bad news. yet, when mikey accepted hanma shuji and the members of valhalla as members of toman, you clapped unenthusiastically — but hanma's eyes were boring holes in your direction, with a determination and fire you never saw in someone else’s orbs. it was almost scary the way he was looking at you. it made you feel small, like if you were a prey being observed by its predator, who was just waiting for the best opportunity to attack.

it haunted you for a few weeks.

until you met him again.

—

it was christmas day.

after having dinner with your brother and mother, you said you would take a walk to clear your thoughts. you were starting to get better after keisuke's death — you now could go to toman meetings without crying your eyes out, but talking about him was still a sensitive thing. and christmas, before what happened on halloween, had always been a melancholic day. because of your father, but now someone else helped your dead father to make such a beautiful day miserable for you.

you only spent five christmas with your dad, but you could recall his melodic laugh and the kisses he would give your cheeks when you woke up and demanded gifts. how his eyes were gentle and warm, with the same glint of mischief your brother had, or how he used to embrace you, chifuyu and your mother if the day was too cold. it was hard for you, and you couldn't even phantom how hard it was for chifuyu.

he was always with baji in those days, when the memories that chifuyu inherited from you, because he was too young to actually remember the man who named him, plagued his mind. you three shared the same pain — of not having a dad back at home — but you knew it was harder for them.

a sigh left your lips as you mindlessly walked in the neighborhood streets, and a small smile reached your lips at the condensed air that escaped them. you didn’t really had a place in mind to go, but found yourself in front of a catholic church. you and your family weren’t that religious, and you wondered what your mind wanted to show you.

until your eyes met golden orbs that haven't left your mind and dreams since november.

“hey! matsuno, isn’t it?” you nodded at hanma shuji’s question, eyeing him suspiciously. why was he beaten up on christmas day? you knew he was quite chaotic and loved to break rules — just by how he posed himself in the meetings proved that to you. but hanma had something in him that intrigued you. maybe it was his carefree disposition, as if he didn’t care if anything happened to anyone, or maybe it was the fact that he actually cared about kisaki tetta, as if the younger boy was his own brother.

you walked where he was, seated at the steps of the church and smoking, curious gaze lingering on his face. “what happened, hanma?” you eyed his injuries, noticing how he had a bad cut on his lips and blood coming from his nose.

he gave you that darling smile of his, and you hated how butterflies danced in your stomach.

“you know that shiba boy, don’t you, doll? with the scar on his lips.” he beckoned for you to sit next to him while exhaling the smoke, and you did, coughing a little. none in your circle of friends smoked and that, even if you would prefer to die before admitting, made hanma even more intriguing on your eyes. you felt your cheeks heating up the sound of his laugh, and something inside you urged you to hear that sound once again. “not used to that?” his eyes travelled from your blushing face to the cigarette on his tattooed hand, his voice laced with amusement and something else you couldn’t decipher.

“n-no.” you answered, and blamed your stuttering on the cold. he seemed to think that too, scooting closer to you. “but i do know hakkai, what happened? isn’t he now a member of the black dragons?”

you would be shuji’s death, and you would never know it.

well, at least not yet.

but your doe-eyes shining with curiosity and the cute way you would cough when he blew smoke — sometimes close to your face, so he could see the cute way your brows would furrow and your lips form a pout — made him more enchanted for you. but what caught him and made shuuji realize that he was screwed was the way you parted your lips at his story. how he and kisaki heard that hakkai was planning to kill his older brother, shiba taiju, the leader of the black dragons, and went to the church to stop him, only for hanma to be beaten up defending kisaki from the now leader of the black dragons.

he exhaled some smoke again, and his heart missed a beat when he looked at your face once more. he almost felt bad for lying to you — kisaki planned taiju’s death by the hand of his younger sister, yuzuha, and some guys from his division punched him so he could lure you — because you looked so beautiful with widen eyes and admiration glistening on them. he never expected to find you so soon, but maybe the gods were on his side.

shuji flicked your forehead gently, so your attention could go back to him, and he chuckled, seeing your face redden at the contact.

cute, he thought. he was ready to ruin you.

“what about your injuries? aren’t you going to get treatment for them?” used to treat your own brother and keisuke — and sometimes the other boys too — you inquired, almost demanded, tearing your gaze away from him and looking at the moon.

“i’ll have them heal naturally.” shuji answered nonchalantly, stepping on his cigarette. “or you have any ideas, pretty girl?”

you took a deep breath, hoping that he couldn’t hear your heart beating so loudly after hearing the nickname. “i can treat them, if you want. my house is almost a ten-minute walk, if you’re willing to, i can help you.” you explained, looking at your snow covered boots. judging by the hour, you could sneak hanma in without your mother or brother — if he was home — noticing, by the emergency stairs. it would be strange to have someone else inside your room rather than keisuke, but something inside you was urging to help him. “if you want, just follow me.” you got up from the stairs’ steps and started walking, not wanting to wait and see his answer.

but hanma’s footsteps were the only confirmation you needed.

shuji was quite surprised at your invitation, thinking it would take at least a few weeks to actually manage to get that closer to you. but he wasn’t complaining — maybe it was the loneliness of not having your boyfriend anymore with you on christmas day, but such thought made his blood boil. he wanted you to invite him to your house because you actually liked him, and not because of the memory of a stupid boy that died in a stupid way. the smile on his face said otherwise, showing his happiness of going to a cute girl’s house, though, and he followed you like a person trying to find the end of a rainbow, expecting to find a bowl full of gold coins.

hanma shuji left the matsuno’s apartament with a few bandages on his body, a kiss in the end of his lips and the promising of picking matsuno y/n to a ride in the next night, while you went to sleep with a wide smile on your face, red cheeks and your heart beating loudly in your ribcage.

after the late night ride on shuji’s bike and seeing the stars in the rooftop of an abandoned building, you told hanma you wanted things to be slow in your relationship, and he said that you didn’t need to worry about anything. he understood your motives — your ex-boyfriend died in your arms last month, and you were still traumatized by everything that happened. he held you in his arms when you cried after he promised he would wait forever for you if he needed. you weren’t expecting him to be so considerate of your feelings, thinking he would never look at you again when you expressed your worries.

you wanted to have feelings for shuji because of who he was, and not because you were missing keisuke.

hanma, surprisingly even to himself, kept his promise.

kisaki sneered when shuji told him what happened. tetta saw a future relationship between you, the sister of the vice captain of the first division, and hanma, the captain of the newly formed sixth division, as a way for the both of them to win the trust of toman’s founder members — you being good friends with mitsuya and draken would be the ladder they needed — but he wasn’t expecting the “take slow steps” thing. but if that was what his friend wanted, kisaki couldn’t do anything. hanma was unpredictable, but he reminded the taller boy to do things right and win your heart. their positions in the tokyo manji gang could depend on your influence one day.

this love thing was bullshit for him for now.

shuji didn't notice the line between wanting to ruin you and using your influence in the gang for his and kisaki's sake crossed, and he started to feel things for you. he wasn't a man that knew how to love — the only love he knew came from the pain, from punches being thrown at his directions and cruel words spilled by his father's lips. love was like a knife for him, sharp and deadly, and he only knew how to love with hurting and drawing blood from the person who held his affections.

but you showed him how to love in a way that wasn't violent. you showed him that love could be a gentle thing, like a warm summer breeze tickling his skin, instead of the sharp pain of a punch. was it with your laugh when he hugged you and spinned you around after a few days without seeing you, or with the way you warm fingers would caress his face so gently — as if he was a wild animal that you needed to nurse back to health. and in some ways, he was. hanma was wild and violent, while you were gentle and warm, and everything that he wasn't and didn't deserve.

yet, you were everything he wanted, and he was conflicted. many times he laid awake with you by his side, inside your room and on your small bed, thinking that you would be better without him. shuji would only drag you down, and what he wanted for you was far from it.

but only the thought of letting you go made his heart clench and his eyes burn.

after a year of sneaking out to meet shuji to go on dates and sneaking him into your room so you two could cuddle on cold nights, you finally felt it was the time to tell your family and friends you were dating again, and the first person who met hanma as your boyfriend was your mom.

hanma's first time entering your home by the front door was something else. he was nervous to meet the woman who raised you, and he knew someone with sin and punishment tattooed in their hands wasn't the ideal match a mom would want for their daughter. but she was kind enough to him, and when shuji kneeled in front of your father's altar and prayed — he felt really stupid to promise your dad that he would keep you safe and away from danger when he was the danger — he heard her sighing contently. maybe, just maybe, he managed to crave a spot on her heart.

however, that night, she asked you if you were sure about your decision. your mom's voice was filled with worry and even sadness, and you couldn't help but frown. you told her you were sure you were falling in love with hanma shuji, and that no one would be able to change your mind. falling in love with him was like falling into darkness, you told her — it was frightening to make your heart vulnerable again for a delinquent, but at the same time it was intriguing, because you were sure that when the stars would shine in hanma’s darkness, it would be the most beautiful sight you ever saw.

and they were starting to.

your mother just sighed and said that you should take extra care being the girlfriend of a boy like hanma. she would pray that nothing would happen, and you just treated that like motherly overprotectiveness.

the difficult part was to announce to your brother and your friends about your new relationship.

you and shuuji decided to just arrive together at a toman meeting and act like a couple rather than telling them. he said it was better that way, so they could grow used to you two being touchy with each other.

chifuyu eyed him suspiciously, and gave hanma the famous brotherly talk, in which your boyfriend replied that he would never do anything that could hurt you. the boys congratulated you both, but shuji could tell that they weren't truly happy. he was sure he would earn their trust, just like he did with your mother. after all, it was part of the plan. kisaki gave you a shoulder pat and said that he hoped you would make hanma happy, but when they were alone, tetta showed how displeased he was by how much time it took shuji to win you over. he chuckled and shrug and said that he was never given a deadline, and that you weren't like any ordinary girl.

kisaki narrowed his eyes, mouth in a thin line at his number two's words. “remember that y/n is just a pawn, hanma. if she ever does something that will compromise us, i'll make sure that you'll be the one to dispose of her.”

shuji just shrugged. “she'll never do that. i have her in the palm of my hand.” and i love her.

yes, he loved you. shuji just hoped that you felt the same.

—

you barely turned twenty-two when hanma asked you to marry him.

and you said yes.

at twenty-three, your name changed from matsuno y/n to hanma y/n, and you couldn’t be happier to wake up every day to shuji arms holding you tight.

—

you always heard people saying that mothers always knew what was better for their children.

as the oldest of two and fatherless since you were five, you always tried to listen to your mother. but maybe you should've tried harder, or else you wouldn't be in this situation.

kazutora’s words had been ringing in your head since last week.

“you know he only started to date you to win the trust of toman’s founders, don’t you? it’s a miracle that kisaki didn’t make him dispose of you yet.”

he probably only said that to make you aware of how delicate your situation was, but you felt dirty. was everything that you and shuji lived just a lie? was he just following kisaki’s orders? was he following orders when he kissed you passionately after a stressful day, or when he made you scream his name in the middle of the night with his head between your thighs?

maybe… maybe he was.

shuji never expressed his love for you in words, but you judged that to be just because he wasn’t used to doing that. he told you how dysfunctional his childhood was, and you understood why he had a hard time expressing his feelings out loud. you never cared that he never said he loved you verbally — his actions were enough to prove that to you, but now, you weren’t so sure about that.

when your husband arrived home that night and greeted you with a kiss, it took everything from you to not turn your head and deny it for him, but he couldn’t know about your thoughts. it would give away chifuyu’s plans, and you were sure he wouldn’t be pleased to know that his brother-in-law was a traitor, or that his wife was helping him because she felt like she owed something to her first boyfriend. you tried to not deny him anything, and moaned his name like nothing was happening inside your mind when he thrust his cock inside your cunt for the nth time that night.

“i love you, shuji.” you said between moans, feeling his seed fill you up to the brim. despite everything, those three words were still true. and that was what hurts the most — because if everything was a lie, you were a complete fool for falling for his sweet words and puppy golden eyes. and hanma was more cruel than you could’ve think.

maybe post orgasm bliss would make him more vulnerable and able to say the words to you and ease your mind, but, to hanma, vulnerability only suited you. he was repelled by his own, but your vulnerability was a testament of your courage. you were brave to give yourself fully to him, to show him your scars and bruises — both physical and emotional — and let him heal them with his kisses, while he, after more than ten years of knowing you, was still afraid to let you know the true hanma shuji. your vulnerability was a reminder of how little hanma could give himself to you, too afraid of you knowing his ugliest parts and deemed him as someone who didn’t deserve your gentle hands trying to pull him from his darkness every day.

“me too, y/n.”

shuuji didn't notice how you almost flinched after he pulled you into your arms, his hand resting in your lowest part of your belly — where he hoped his semen was fertilizing your womb. it was time for a baby, he felt that both of you were ready to take these next steps. he kissed your forehead. “tomorrow we'll have a meeting and tetta allowed me to bring you. what do you say, pretty?”

you nodded, inhaling profoundly, hoping your voice wasn't going to quiver and break your mask. “i would be thrilled to go, love. i don't know what got into tetta’s head to allow me to be there, but i guess it'll be a pleasant surprise for my brother and takemichi to see me.” kisaki's name on your tongue was like a poison corroding your muscles. it tasted bitter and was a reminder that everything was his fault, because it was his plan all along. you and shuji were just pawns in his hand.

“and i can show you off to those black dragons fuckers. none of them have a wife, and not one as beautiful as you.” shuuji hummed, bringing you closer to his chest. “g'night, baby. dream of me, will you?”

"only if you dream of me. night, shuuji.” you responded to him, soon hearing his soft snores, but your mind was running miles per hour to allow you to sleep. you're sure kisaki was planning something when he allowed you to come to an upper echelon meeting — he never let you come to one, even if you pestered him for weeks when you thought he was your friend.

something was going to happen, and you were sure it wouldn't be something of your liking.

—

you woke up to your husband already getting ready to work, and you went to take a bath to get rid of the sticky feeling in your legs. you rubbed yourself extra hard — hanma's lack of response to you saying i love you plagued your mind, and kazutora's soft voice was a cruel reminder that everything has always been just a lie to him. maybe he was just with you because he didn't want to wake up alone, or because you were a doting and gentle wife — something a whore wouldn't be.

you kissed him goodbye still wrapped in your towel, and went to your daily activities. they consisted pretty much of taking care of the house and being pretty for when shuuji came home, and, before, it never bothered you. but now you wondered if hanma didn't mold you into what he wanted you to be, and made you think it was your wish too. what about your teenager dream of becoming an elementary school teacher? or chifuyu's dream of becoming a pilot? and keisuke's of opening a pet shop?

oh, keisuke.

he would be so disappointed in you if he saw what you became. him and your father, you were sure of it. you wish you could change things before dying, but you were sure a target had been put in your head. maybe you'd be able to apologize to them after tonight.

tonight.

what would you do in such a gathering? you didn't know much about what was happening in toman, besides what your brother told you and what you managed to read in some reports in your husband's office in your penthouse.

you tried to not think about what could happen to not become more anxious than you were, and you put extra effort in looking beautiful when the time came for you to get ready. you were going to meet shuji at the building where the meet was going to be hosted, and even if you thought you were going to die, you wanted to at least have a good moment with the man you have loved for more than ten years — even if it was one-sided. a silk dress that reached just above your knees hugged your curves, and you kept your hair loose, knowing that it would drive hanma crazy. a little bit of make-up here and there, and you judged yourself to be ready while looking at the full-length mirror in you and your husband’s shared bedroom.

the walk to the car waiting for you outside wasn’t an easy one. you were too afraid of what could happen tonight, and you remembered your mother’s words in the night when you brought shuji for her to meet:

“please, take care, my dear, when dating a boy like him.”

you were now his wife, but you should have listened to her. you didn’t take care, and left yourself be consumed by him — and you thought that such a thing was okay. but was shuuji consumed by you too?

the car ride was quiet, and you answered a few texts from your husband and brother. you warned chifuyu of your presence tonight, and you both agreed that something was to happen that you needed to witness — or else kisaki wouldn’t want your company gracing his subordinates. he always said that a woman’s presence, especially yours, would make everyone distracted of the job when you pestered him about wanting to go to a meeting one day, in a time you thought he was one of your closest friends. kisaki grew on you because of shuji’s influence. at first, you were suspicious of him, because of keisuke’s words. maybe, at thirteen, he was really bad news, but you felt that he changed. you thought he genuinely cared for you, hanma and toman’s executives. however, something changed in him after tachibana hinata’s death, and now you could see how easily you were manipulated by him.

it made you feel angry and betrayed. how could someone be such a monster that playing with people's feelings was just a daily activity?

the car ride ended, and you slowly exit the car, forcing yourself to smile at your husband while walking towards him. shuuji welcomed you in his arms and you hated to admit that he still smelled like home.

he could notice that something changed in you, and that made hanma nervous. you seemed more distant, like you were miles away in a shore and he couldn’t reach you. it terrified him. “you okay, doll?” he asked with worry laced in his voice while manoeuvring you inside the building, and you wondered if that was just faux sympathy.

“yes.” you answered inside the elevator, hugging your husband tighly and resting your head on his chest, hearing the familiar tune of his heartbeat. “just nervous. it's been a while since i saw everyone.” you were still close to the toman’s boys — pah-chin, peh-yan, smiley, mitsuya and even mucho — but those three black dragons members always eyed you as if you were a piece of meat. especially hakkai, and you wondered how could a boy so sweet, that couldn't even look at your eyes back when you were younger, became such a heartless man.

hanma's arm tightened around your waist, and you felt the vibrations of his chuckle rebeverating on his chest. “you have nothing to worry. i'll never let any of them touch what is mine.”

you just nodded, and disentangled yourself from your husband's arm when you two reached the floor the meeting was being hosted, interlacing your right hand with his punishment's one. you loved those tattoos — it made hanma even more himself, and you couldn't deny that you loved hearing his cheeky jokes about them. shuji guided you to the meeting room, explaining that the talk would be done over a fancy dinner, as if they were just a bunch of old friends to not draw unnecessary attention.

“and i can hear what you guys will be discussing?” you asked quite curious, but apprehensive. if you had doubts that kisaki would do something, now you were sure of it.

“if you couldn’t, y/n, tetta wouldn’t have wanted your presence here tonight.” the smile on your husband’s face did not but make you more nervous. did he know about chifuyu and kazutora plans? he was acting like his usual self, but your gut said that something was off with him. you just nodded, tightening your hold on his hand.

hanma and you were the first ones to arrive, and you felt more at ease. it would be good to gather your thoughts and make yourself more presentable to his colleagues. shuji placed you on his lap, his sin hand curled around your waist, while his punishment one fed you the most exquisite things you ever tasted. he was enjoying your reactions too much, as if your smile and pouts were the cure for anything that left him awake in the middle of the night, and you wondered until when things would be like that.

one by one, the other executives arrived, and you engaged in a deep conversation with nahoya about what were the best products to use when he wanted his hair more smooth and shining, while hanma glared at hakkai — who was conveniently sitting just a chair from you two — marking his territory like a dog, as if the shiny diamond ring in your left hand or your own name weren’t proof enough to whom you belong to.

the atmosphere changed when hanagaki takemichi arrived, your brother trailing close behind him. you two shared a knowing look that didn’t go unnoticed by your husband. he never questioned you or tried to pry in your relationship with chifuyu, but he couldn’t help and wondered if he was the cause of your distance these days. the younger matsuno always made clear that he was just friendly towards hanma for your sake — if shuji was the one you loved, he would never do anything against him that could cause you distress, but that didn’t mean they would be the bestest of friends. shuji never cared, but now — with you nestled in his arms, but feeling as if you were on the other side of the planet and he couldn’t do anything to reach you — he supposed he should’ve tried harder to have chifuyu at his side.

you tried to not give your position away, but it was hard to not look nervously in your brother's direction. you felt that something was off rather than your presence in the room full of toman’s upper echelon, especially with takemichi. he seemed like the boy you met on the day of keisuke’s death, and not the man you were used to party with in toman’s informal gatherings. but maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you, and you focused on the banter that was happening around you. something to do with the lack of pah’s fried rice, or something like that.

it was good to have them acting as if they were teenagers again, and you even chuckled at peh’s words, as if you were just chilling in the old shrine with them. but the black dragon’s members there were a cold reminder of what toman became, and you grabbed shuji’s arms to calm yourself at inui’s, koko’s and hakkai’s words. but when pah got up, bothered by hakkai’s insults, you feared for the worst. what the hell kisaki was thinking to allow you to be there?

“i’m exhausted.” your husband commented, sensing your distress and squeezing your waist, voice unbothered. “what is this, a playground?” he asked, gesturing to the table. “can’t you see you’re scaring my wife?” his glare was deathly, and everyone quieted down, making you relax once more in his arms. you listened, pretending to be bored, as your husband explained what he wanted to discuss in the meeting, and you stiffened on his lap at the mention of a judas among them — he knew about chifuyu involvement with the police.

hanma squeezed your waist once more, blaming your nervousness as worry about what could happen to your lives now that the police had some trail about toman, not to what was going to happen. he didn’t notice how your eyes flicked to your brother for a millisecond before chaos was brought into the room. your worst nightmares were happening — you tried your best to give your mother the best live you could offer to her with hanma’s money, and now she was going to lose both of her children in a single day.

but how? you always made chifuyu promise to you that he would always be careful and do anything he could to not get caught, and you trusted him to know that he wouldn’t be stupid and do things in a dumb way that would have his identity revealed. maybe kisaki and hanma didn’t know who the judas were — just that toman had one — but you knew you were being too hopeful.

hanma manoeuvring you off his lap swiftly when he noticed kisaki’s presence, and his voice made your blood cold. but you still greeted him as if you were blissfully ignorant of what was happening inside the organization. you returned to your husband’s lap when he dismissed everyone of formality, and a shiver ran down your spine at his words. something to take care of. oh god, chifuyu.

“cold, princess?” shuji’s voice startled you, and you denied his question with your head, your eyes glistening with tears as what you thought was going to happen, as much as you tried to contain them. “hey, what’s wrong, y/n? is it because of the judas?” you nodded, and hanma kissed your temple, his sin hand rubbing circles on your skin that were supposed to be soothing. “don’t worry, pretty. nothing is going to happen to you or me to me, and i would die before someone laid a hand on you.”

even if it is kisaki? you wanted to ask, but only hummed, and nestled yourself once more on his arms, watching nervously as your brother and takemichi followed kisaki to god knows where.

you tried to act normal throughout the whole meeting, listening to what hanma had to say to his peers and eating a bit of food here and there, but the more the absence of your brother was going from minutes to hours was mading you giddy. you excused yourself from the room with a kiss on shuji’s cheek — perhaps the last — saying you were going to use the toilet. it wasn’t a complete lie, but you also wanted to search for your brother. shuji mentioned to you that the building was built by tetta, and you were aware that he had eyes everywhere inside it, but you made your way through the many rooms — almost losing hope after the 10th one you entered, but then, you heard a gunshot.

agony pierced your heart, and your feet carried you to the place where you thought you heard the sound. you were desperate, your heart was hammering inside your chest, rising and falling too quickly with your breaths. your gut told you that something terrifying and lethal was happening. guns were only used for one thing, and you worried you were too late to do anything to help those two. your steps were more frantic than before, and you tripped in your heels twice before taking them off to properly run. you didn’t know where you were running to, and you hoped that whatever god was hearing your prayers they would help you and you wouldn’t be too late.

you reached a new area in the building — a place that looked like a bar — and heard voices. your brother’s voice. you were observing them from the right, and noticed the gun that was being held by kisaki on chifuyu’s forehead. no, that wasn’t happening. your feet seemed to be glued in the ground and your ears were ringing — and you couldn’t process what your younger brother was saying. you urged your body to move, to do something to help him — as you always did, as his older sister — but your body was too heavy and tired to listen to you. the adrenaline ran off, and you could only be a viewer of the scene unfolding in front of you, rather than a character of it.

“... baji’s feelings…toman… and the safety of y/n… they’re in your hands, partner.” you heard chifuyu say.

and kisaki shot.

you widen eyes met with takemichi’s blue ones while your brother’s body fell to the ground, and something inside you snapped.

“CHIFUYU!” you screamed and, finally, your body decided to listen to you. nothing else mattered now — your brother was dead.

your little brother.

dead.

the baby that held your tiny hand the first time he arrived home, the baby that would giggle just at the sound of your voice, the baby that had trouble pronouncing your name when he started to speak and called you by the most difficult nickname he could imagine, the little boy that held your hand when you two crossed the road, the little boy that was nestled in your tiny arms when your mother told you two your father would never come home, the little boy that would pull your braids and ran off laughing loudly, the little boy that would always come to you crying when he scraped his knees, the boy that dreamed of being a pilot, the boy that brought a black cat home and named him the most ridiculous name he could think of, the boy that was too good to walk with you to school, the boy who made you met your first love, the boy who sneered when you and keisuke kissed in front of him, the boy who was toman’s first division vice captain, the boy that made you proud as how cool he looked in his uniform, the boy who was with you when you saw life going out of your first love’s warm eyes, the boy who you held when the death of his best friend was too much for him to handle, the young man who walked you down the aisle in the day of your wedding, the young man who pestered you about giving him a nephew or niece so he could dot on them, the young man that never betrayed his feelings and stayed true to his feelings and promises.

cold and dead.

in your arms.

“foolish woman.” kisaki murmured. you didn’t seem like you would interfere with his plans, so he let you be. he wouldn’t do anything to you for hanma’s sake, but if he could, you would have the same destiny as your brother.

you cradled your brother’s body in your arms. he was cold and heavy, everything that chifuyu wasn’t. “no… fuyu… please… tell me this is just a prank…” you managed to say between sobs, your voice small but desperate. nothing around you mattered — nothing could ever prepare you to hold the lifeless body of your brother in your arms.

how could you live knowing that you would never see him again? that he would never open his blue-green eyes again, or grace your saturday mornings with a trip to the newest pastries shops that opened in town? how could you live without him? you just lived two years without chifuyu in your life, and you couldn’t even remember them. what were you before you were his older sister? nothing. you were always his sister first, even if you were now hanma’s wife. you would always be chifuyu’s sister.

but now he was dead.

and you were an older sister without a younger brother.

a mother, a father or even a lover could be replaced. but who could replace a brother? when you and him were cut from the same flesh and shared the same blood, a bond that you didn't have with any other that you called brother too. you and him were two different faces of the same coin.

you only noticed what was happening when the lights, somehow, went off, clinging even harder to your brother's lifeless body. but the familiar sound of kazutora's earring was the trigger that made you realize that you needed to get out of that room. but the prospect of leaving chifuyu there, alone, with people that wouldn't care for him or his body almost made you stay and face whatever consequences kisaki would inflict in yourself — but if that happened, chifuyu's and keisuke's wishes wouldn't have someone to carry them.

taking advantage of the chaos kazutora created, you kissed your brother's forehead for the last time. “i love you, chifuyu. thank you for allowing me to be your sister for these twenty-five years. it was an honor to call you my little brother.” you murmured against his skin softly, wishing that such words would reach him.

the walk out of the room was quite difficult without the lights on, and you tried to be as quiet as possible, biting your lower lip to not let your sobs come out of your mouth.

but when you reached the stairs, the only place illuminated with emergency lights, and was greeted with the sight of your bloody hands, everything crashed down. you sobbed, screamed and ran away from where you were — but at the same time, you wanted to come back to your brother. how could you leave him alone like that? he looked like he was sleeping and could wake up at any hour. what if he woke up all alone, bruised and with tied hands? what if he woke up scared and nervous, just like he did when he was younger and had a nightmare, but you weren’t there to comfort and protect him? but a little voice in your head reminded you that chifuyu wasn't sleeping and his eyes would never open again, and that made you sob even harder.

you didn't know how you didn't fall off the stairs with fat tears making you see everything blurry, but you managed to reach the ground floor without any physical injuries. opening the emergency stairs' door slowly — you were sure kisaki put men to look out for you — you were greeted with a pair of golden eyes that you wished you never met.

“y/n, princess…” hanma tried to start, and you almost let him explain himself — but his eyes told you everything you needed to know.

“you knew.” it wasn't a question. “you fucking knew that kisaki was going to murder my brother and you did nothing! he was your brother-in-law and you let him be murdered like he was a fucking animal!” you screamed, your voice full of rage. you wanted to hate him, you truly did. but you wanted nothing more than just to be comforted by his arms and his sweet words, even if he was as guilty as the one who pulled the trigger. “you… you were the one who told me to come. how could you, hanma?”

“don't call me that.” you almost laughed at the hurt lacing his words. “you're a hanma too.” he whispered the last part, taking a step towards you. it took everything of you to run to his awaiting arms and nuzzle your face on his chest and cry your eyes out.

“i'm a matsuno.” you answered sharply, venom dripping from your lips. even if you were ashamed to bear such a surname again — what would your parents do if they knew their daughter let their son die without doing nothing to help him, pathetically just watching everything unfold before her eyes? — calling yourself by the surname of your husband was a cruel reminder that you brought such fate to your brother. “i stopped being a hanma the second kisaki pulled the trigger.” you spit, and the way shuji's face winced in pain at your words brought new and fresh tears to your eyes — and you hated how much you still cared for him even though he helped to plan the ambush that culminated in your bloody hands.

“stop it, princess.” he pleaded. hanma was a fool, and he was aware of that now. he let power and money corrupt him to the point that he didn't even think about his wife's feelings when tetta announced his brother-in-law was going to be murdered because he was a traitor. “come here, please.” he hesitantly took another step towards you, opening his arms once again. shuji watched with despair as love and happiness withdrew from your eyes, your beautiful orbs now glistening with pain and anguish.

you took a step back. he was getting too close — and you knew that the moment his scent reached your nostrils, your resolution would go to ashes. “i don't want to hear a thing from you anymore, hanma.” your voice was weak and hoarse and filled with misery. even if you, deep down, knew that something was going to happen, witnessing it was worse than you ever thought. every time your husband took a step towards you, you took one step back, but he was faster than you and managed to hold you between his arms. once a comforting position, now it was just a cage. “don't touch me.” you weakly protested, your voice muffled by his silky shirt.

you stayed in shuji's embrace for a few minutes, your bloody hands clutching the sides of your dress. you didn't have strength to walk away from him — too exhausted to do anything else besides letting silent tears fall out of your eyes.

you both knew it was the last time embracing each other.

he couldn't lose you. he couldn't. you were the only thing he looked forward to seeing again when he left home for work, the only person he felt comfortable enough to be intimate with, the only woman he let patch him up when he came home too bruised from a difficult mission. he thought you two would form a family, a dynasty — something so powerful that even the gods would fear your both, that nothing could shake. like augustus and livia drusilla, or henry tudor and elizabeth plantagenet. “i love you.” shuji confessed quietly, with a kiss to your temple. he couldn't lose you. if he did, the sun wasn't going to shine anymore in his life, the stars would lose their meaning to exist and the moon would be a bitter reminder of what he had and lost.

you were the light of his life, and if he lost you, shuji was afraid he would lose himself to the darkness inside him.

he was going desperate with your lack of response. “y/n, i love you.” shuji tried again, his voice a bit louder than before. maybe you didn't hear the first time. but when his confession was met with silence once more, he felt tears pricking his eyes. shuji couldn't remember the last time he actually felt tears wetting his cheeks. “don't go, please.” his voice was quieter than usual, and filled with an emotion he didn't recognize. fear.

“please, let me go, shuji.” was your only response.

oh, how you wanted to hear those three little words leaving his lips. you used to imagine when he would say that — and would never be after your brother's death, with your marriage falling apart and blood in your hands. but if he could only say those words when he was losing you, were they really true? or it was just a way to keep you glued to him? did shuji really loved you, for who you were, or did he just loved the idea of having someone to come home to?

if you stayed, what could guarantee to you that he won't guide you to the same destiny as your brother? would kisaki really let a traitor’s sister alive just because of his friendship with her husband?

“please.” you whispered, taking his hands off your waist. “you need to let me go, shuji.”

shuji watched powerless as you walked away from him and from the love you both shared. watched as you took everything good that he might have had with your steps, and he realized that his love was not enough — you two were doomed from the start. you and shuji were born with misfortune in your blood and tragedy in your bones. your love started as a lie, and shuji was a fool to think that it would grow roots and be strong as a centenary tree, enough to create the dynasty he always dreamed about. but, as doomed as your love was, he couldn't let you walk away as easily as that. he would fight for you.

you were almost at the exit door when you heard him scream. “I LOVE YOU, Y/N!” his reaction only prompted you to walk faster and run to the car waiting for you. you couldn't stay. you needed time to think and collect your thoughts, and mourn your brother. if you stayed, you were afraid that it would mean that shuji would hold a knife to your throat — if you did anything that displeased kisaki, he would be the one to cut your flesh.

and you didn't want your lover's hand to be tainted with your blood. he already had too many blood stains on his fingers.

you entered the car, asking the driver to take you to your mother's address, and when he started the engineer, you saw shuji falling to his knees in front of the building.

“I LOVE YOU, Y/N! Y/N! COME BACK! Y/N!” he screamed while he watched the car drive away, punching the ground and crying like he never did before.

inside the car, you were no better. your sobs were loud and your cries were heartbroken, and you wondered how many tears you could produce in a day. your hands are shaking, and like thunder, a realization struck your head — what would you do with them now, that you couldn't interlace your fingers with shuji's bigger ones, or stroke his cheeks? or even pinch chifuyu cheeks and mess with his perfectly styled hair? what would you do with them, now that your hands were just hands? what would you do now, that you aren't shuji’s pretty girl anymore?

how could you stop loving someone that meant everything to you?

#hanma shuji x reader #hanma shuji #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyorev x reader #hanma shuuji x reader #hanma shuuji #— june writes.

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soniaxdixon · 4 years ago

Text

The New World; Series Pt 2

Okay so this is my first time writing a fic and obviously will be my first series but I’ve just rewatched TWD for like the 17th time and my obsession with Daryl has reached new levels. I hope that it isn’t too shit and that you guys actually read/like it. Thank you in advance for baring with my average writing but I mean, how else will I learn? Anyway, enjoy!

Sonia x

Set pre to early season 1, back story for when the world ended.

Part 2 of ??

Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger hot headed sister. When Rick gets shot and falls into a coma, Y/N’s world ends. Y/N Finds herself at a quarry near Atlanta with her nephew carl, sister in law Lori and her best friend Glenn where she meets her new family including the equally hot headed redneck Daryl Dixon. Over time Y/N and Daryl begin to form a friendship, finally allowing one another to open up to someone and maybe finding someone they can actually love.

Warnings! Slowish burn but the feels are there from the start, swearing, A little angst.

Words; 1774

This part focuses more on Season 1 Episode 3 ‘Tell it to the frogs’ We have a little reunion and start to explore Daryl and y/n’s relationship a bit more. - Sorry in advance if there are any errors, I didn’t really edit it properly

Like every morning, you were woken up by the sounds of your friends talking outside and the morning light forcing your eyes open. You rose, got dressed and stepped out of your tent your heart jumping when a big figure grabbed your shoulder suddenly, without warning.

“Jesus fucking christ, Daryl. A little heads up that you’re behind me next time? Shit.”

The ends of his lips curled into a small smile that made your stomach flip with butterflies. The power this man had over you already was immense. “M’ goin’ huntin’, shouldn’t be too long. Let Merle know if he gets back.” And with that, he was gone, not even giving you a chance to respond, his crossbow over his shoulder, hastily making his way into the woods. You couldn’t help but stare until his figure finally disappeared among the trees.

You looked over and saw Carl getting his haircut by Lori. He locked eyes with you and mumbled a plea for help. You shook your head and laughed at his suffering face. Catching on to the end of their conversation, you sat down next to Shane who was cleaning his gun.

“Frogs, plural”

“Why do we need ‘Frogs, plural?’” Carl questioned

You zoned out for a second, looking off in the direction Daryl had headed. Your mind suddenly racing. What happens if he comes across a walker? What happens if he comes across lots of walkers. Did he have a gun or just his crossbow? Why did he go alone?

“What do you think, Y/N?” Shane’s voice broke you from your silent panic.

You just stared at him for a second and he read your confusion, he knew you had a habit of zoning out. “Cajun style kermit legs, what do you think?”

“Oh, gross. No thanks.” Your face contorted with the thought of eating frog legs cooked by Shane. “You can keep your frog legs, I’d rather eat dirt.”

Your conversation was halted by the sudden sound of a car alarm.

“What the fuck?” You questioned, your eyes focusing on Shane.

“Talk to me, Dale?” Shane leapt from his seat and made his way over to the RV

You stood next to Shane, your arms crossed protectively across your chest.

The car sped up the hill suddenly screeching to a halt, Glenn climbing out of the drivers seat instantly being hounded by questions and yelling.

“My sister, is she okay?” Amy asked glenn over and over.

“Yes, she’s fine, everybody is. Merle not so much.”

Your stomach dropped quickly at the thought of Merle not being okay. What would you tell Daryl?

You turned and shuffled quickly towards your tent, climbing inside and finding your water bottle. You sat down for a few minutes, taking steady drinks. Poor Daryl you thought to yourself. You knew what it was like to lose a brother. You were drawn from your thoughts by the sound of a truck pulling up. Exiting your tent again you made your way over to Lori and Carl, placing your hands on the boys shoulders.

Everyone was reuniting and for a second, everyone was happy. You felt Carl’s shoulders begin to shake as he started sobbing. Lori knelt down and comforted him as he cried again for his dad.

“How’d y’all get out of there anyway?” Shane asked

“New guy, he got us out”

“Hey helicopter boy, come say hello. Guy’s a cop, just like you.”

You looked up at Morales’s words and felt your knees turn in. Tears filled your eyes as he stood there in front of you.

“Holy shit” was all that came out of your mouth before you saw carl running past you

“Dad!”

You’ve never seen the boy run so fast as Rick pulled him to the ground in a hug. Picking him up and walking to Lori. Your heart swelling with love as he let go of them and his eyes found you.

“Oh my God.” He uttered as he grabbed you and you finally allowed your knees to drop. He held you up as he hugged you, tighter than you have ever hugged before. You had him back. The only thing that could keep you calm. Your big brother was alive.

That night you sat around a fire and listened to Rick talk about his experience. Waking up in the hospital only to find the world had fallen apart. They spoke about Merle, how he was handcuffed to a roof in Atlanta, how T-Dogg had dropped the key, how they would have to tell Daryl.

You couldn’t think about it anymore, you pushed yourself off he ground and leaned down, placing a kiss on Carl’s forehead and hugging your brother one more time for the day.

You walked over to your tent and went to sleep for the night. As usual, the only thing on your mind was Daryl but tonight, it wasn’t the usual thoughts of what it would be like if you were together. Tonight they were thoughts flooded with worry.

————

You scrambled for your clothes in the morning, pulling on some blue jeans and a black tee, pushing your way out of your tent and over to your group. The sudden sound of screaming had you running before you could even register what it was, pulling your knife from its sheath you sprinted towards the sound.

“Carl?” You yelled, Lori’s voice followed yours with the same question as she and rick ran behind you.

Lori grabbed him, “Nothing bit you, nothing scratched you?”

You ran with rick and the others to the source of the screaming. A lone walker feasting on a big deer. A deer with bolts in its side. The men began to beat the walker, forcing it to the ground before Dale cut its head off.

Sudden rustling drew you from your thoughts as you watched the bush intently.

“Son of a bitch, that’s my deer” the southern drawl all too familiar. “Look at it all gnawed on by this, filthy, disease bearin’, motherless, poxy bastard.”

You followed him back into the camp as he yelled out for his brother, “Merle! Get your ugly ass out here, got us some squirrels”

“Daryl, slow up a bit, I need to talk to you” with the words that Shane said, your stomach began to churn.

“Bout what?”

“Bout Merle, there was a problem in Atlanta.”

“He dead?” Daryl asked, you could see the panic etching his face slowly.

“Not sure.” Shane answered

“He either is or he ain’t” obvious venom dripped from his words as he stared at Shane, waiting for his next answer.

Your eyes turned to Rick as he stepped in suddenly, “no easy way to say this so I’ll just say it.”

“Who the hell are you?”

“Rick Grimes”

“Rick Grimes” Daryl mocked “You got something you wanna tell me?”

“Your brother was a danger to us all so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked to a piece of metal”

Before you knew it, things escalated. Daryl threw the squirrels and pulled out a knife.

Within seconds the knife was on the floor and Shane had daryl in a choke hold. You couldn’t control yourself and you threw yourself at Shane, hitting his back, “Let go of him” You were grabbing at his shirt trying to pull him off when Glenn grabbed your arms as you struggled against him.

“Fucking let him go Shane or I’ll cut your fucking hands off.” At this point Glenn was forcing his hand over your mouth to shut you up and you finally complied when Shane let Daryl out of the choke hold.

You stormed off to your tent so you wouldn’t react again. Thoughts raced through your head. Why the hell did you do that, what on earth possessed you? You and Daryl had hardly spoken and yet you were suddenly threatening one of your closest friends just so he would let him go. Get your head on straight Y/N, Daryl’s gonna think you’re a crazy bitch now.

About 30 minutes later, Rick headed over to your tent to check on you, you had calmed down at this point but you were still pissed at Shane. “I’m taking, Daryl, Glenn and T-Dogg back into Atlanta to get Merle.”

“Okay, I’ll come.”

“No, I want you to stay here.”

You snapped “What the hell is with everyone thinking they have say in where I go.”

“I want you here in case something happens, You’ve taken care of Lori and Carl since the start and I need to know you will protect them while I’m gone.”

Your eyes softened as you shot him an apologetic look. “Where’s Daryl?”

“He’s in his tent, packing his bag.”

You squeezed ricks shoulder and found yourself walking to the edge of your camp, to Daryl’s tent.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry about your brother.”

“Why the hell would ya even care? Just leave me be” He was obviously hurt and his tone stung you.

“Geez okay, sorry for checking on you, prick.” You mumbled the last word walking away before his hand grabbed your shoulder, sending chills down your back as he quickly pulled away.

“M’ sorry. Thanks for checking.”

You just looked at him but your face eased out of the scowl you had before hand.

“Why’d ya jump on Shane like that before? I thought that asshole was your friend.”

“Yeah kinda. We grew up together, he Rick and I. He’s just kinda always been a part of my life ya know. When I thought I lost Rick, he became an even bigger part and I think seeing him dismiss your brother like he was nothing riled me up because I know what its like to lose a brother. I was just lucky enough that mine came back somehow.”

Daryl never broke eye contact with you, watching as slight tears stung your eyes when you thought about losing Rick. “You’re gonna find him. He’ll be fine and you’ll bring him back.” He just continued to look at you as his mind raced with thoughts. This was the longest that you two had spoken, you were actually telling him something about yourself and something in his chest felt like it was on fire. You reached out and he flinched slightly, you put your hand carefully on his shoulder. “He’ll be okay Daryl, You’ll be okay.” You gently squeezed as you turned around to head back towards your tent.

You heard him barely whisper “Thanks.”

“Come back in one piece please.” You whispered back, just loud enough that he could hear you and the fire in his chest grew.

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixion imagine #daryl dixon x grimes reader #you x daryl dixon #y/n grimes x daryl dixon #y/n x daryl #y/n x daryl dixon #twd #twd fic #twd series #twd fic series #the walking dead #the walking dead fic

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laynemorgan · 3 years ago

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I'm sure you've already provided it, but I'd be curious to hear your road to becoming a staffed writer. What first got you interested in it? Does it go back to school days?

Man it goes back far. I mean, I guess in some ways it doesn't. Since you asked more about what got me interested in where it goes back to, I'll give you the lest technical and more biographicl explanatin. My first goal was just to become a writer. I've been writing since I was a really little kid. I actually recently found journals from like the elementary and middle school days just filled with them. And it was never small scale, I'd always be planning out the whole fucking setting, how all the characters were connected, full universes. I made a fake fantasy. land in my backyard because my parents live on a lot of land. I called it Teleterania. I remember very little about it besides that that was the name hahah but I did do it!!! Everything I read only made me want to write. Everything I watched made me want to write.

Sometime around late middle school and early high school, I started watching more TV. I found soap operas and was OBSESSSED with their flare for drama. I found BTVS, Charmed, Smallville, Veronica Mars, OTH, etc. And all of those shows really got me actually looking at TV in a way I had never before. I got obsessed with their worlds and into their fandoms. I became the liek TV guy in my high school. There was even a group of girls I never got to really hang out with that would always call me over to their table to ask about what I knew about OTH stuff hahaha and 17 year old me thought that was awesome. Before my sister passed away, she and I took a road trip down to North Carolina to tour the One Tree Hill set. OTH was like the one thing that she and I agreed on. And it was so awesome. For me it was a first look at what the industry actually looked like, to see the sets and what went into it and all of that.

But I don't think my eyes really opened to actually WORKING in tv until college. I went to school for English Lit and Creative Writing in New Hampshire. My school had a great writing program and I was right at home there. i still credit my first writing professor who was only a grad student for really teaching me what I know about writing and editing and reading my own work for error and she passed me on to her favorite professor which was a hugely flattering moment for me. AND THEN -- I fell in love with PLL. And for me, that was really where shit started. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't even the show that did it it was what the show showed me. Through my tumblr at the time which had very little to do with fandom, I actually wound up running into Patrick Adams and Troian Bellisario. We all were always sharing each other's posts and at the time I was working for a journalist covering random TV out of a shitty free magazine in Boston doing work for peanuts. But I was going out to LA to meet up with a friend and we all decided to meet for lunch and they let me interview them for my magazine and stayed really rad people. They also helped boost my PLL photo recaps which I was doing at the time and those got the attention of the Director, Normal Buckley who asked me out to coffee and talked to me about my goals and what I was doing. He was the person who first really helped me understand that there's an approachability to the TV world that to me had always been this like magical hollywood bubble I didn't understand.

I went home THRILLED about LA, dropped out of college and set out to go to film school. From there, I hated film school because it was too technical adjacent, dropped out again, spent all the money I had on that move twice, and went home to boston broke and lost. I spent two years after that maybe more saving money, working in fandom, and waitressing while I went back to college online. That era wasn't super writing focused but it's where I found myself. I realized I was queer, I came out, I got into tumblr rpg, I met my fandom friends, I found tumblr fandom in a way I hadn't before. And then a couple years later I found tl100.

From there, the rest is kind of wonky. I had a big fan blog for the show and talked a lot about it on my twitter which lead me to many interactions with the writers who then invited me to dinner at comic con one year. I had a long talk with Shumway abut my goals and what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to be in TV somehow. I knew I wanted to be in writing somehow but I couldn't figure out how those two things aligned. I was doing a lot of journalism and critic stuff because that felt like the clsoest way to be both a fan and workin in the world I loved but it was really Kim and Shawna that opened my eyes to the ability to just .... be a TV writer. Film school had made me terrified of the wrtiing side but I think it was because film school was so much more about writing for film which I learned isn't my thing. But TV is a writers' medium, unlike film which is more fo a directors medium and suddenly I was like -- MIND BLOWN. It was everything I wanted in a career and married all of the things I loved. It was something that had previously felt like unattainable but they made it seem human and approachable.

They helped me get my first WPA job, I saved up 3 grand working and with the help of some friends and moved to LA to start that. And suddenly I was in a whirlwind of catching up on everything I felt like I had missed. I was reading scripts, learning what the process looked like, doing everything I coudl to figure out what being a TV writer looked like. After that job, I got another WPA job at Millar Gough on Into the Badlands and later Shannara.

THEN I got hired on Daybreak which I can fully credit with being a huge stepping stone for me and changing my life in a lot of ways. Aron was the best showrunner. He was educational and he taught us shit, he let us in the room, he let us write stuff, he let us pitch and try and fall on our faces and never judged us for it. My second season there he moved me up to writers assitant and patiently walked me through all the stuff I didn't know yet because he had faith in me and my voice and my ideas. He let me writ e afreelance episode that year and pitch it in the room and do all the things that real w riters get to do.

So after Daybreak season 2 got cancelled I was pretty ready to spend my next year or two just writing, finding an agent and moving forawrd. And then I got an email to go and work for Moira Walley Beckett. She was looking for an assistant with serious room experience to help develop something in a small room and stay on with her later. I took the job becuase she's MOIRA and I was stoked to learn from her and work for a woman for once. I ernded up very fortunate becuase a month later we were all surprised by the covid mess and I was fully employed that whole year while many people weren't which was a huge help. Moira was a STELLAR boss. I had thought I was ready and what she taught me was that ther's always so much more to learn. She walked me through the process of applying notes and taking notes and changing draft after draft of your story. SHe walked me through breaking a whole season of television. We had a great partnership for the year and I'm so grateful. And then that project didn't end up seeing hte light of day and we our separate ways as well.

Cut to a few months ago, I was still at home in Boston, post-covid, having been sick for most of january. My friend Rachel dared me to write a spec in a weekend for the Warner Bros fellowship deadline. So I did. It was a Legacies Spec. Given that we didn't have access to the WGA library because of the pandemic, Legacies was an easy and obvious choice. I had already seen it inside and out and didn't need as much access to learning a show from scratch. So I wrote what I loved, wrote a season 2 legacies spec that embraced my favorite things about legacies: the high school soap of one tree hill, Lizzie doing wild dialogue, buffy-esque monsters, and themes of grief and humanity.

AND THE REST you know.

Here we are. I'm still lost as fuck. I'm still running full speed through a world I don't always feel like I"m ready for. I'm still a perfectionist and an obsessive overworker. I still take notes I don't need to take and do work at 10pm and come in early and stare at the story boards. There's a whole journey in all of this about representation and coming to find myself and queer media and wanting to make more of it but that's one I don't feel like I can fully get into until I'm decades out of it and the world is truly made better. But I'm here. And it feels like the end of a journey and liek I'm standing at the edge of a brand new clif because I've only just started.

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tomhardysteeth · 4 years ago

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u wanna say anything for spn ending? Today's their last day of filming

Yeah sure! I love how you worded this ask, it makes me want to give a very serious answer. I’ve been rewatching random episodes the past few days and thinking about how much of my life was shaped by this random lil tv show, both positively and negatively, so here we go.

I started watching Supernatural during my junior year of college, when I was grappling with being gay and religious, and had a pseudo-girlfriend who was emotionally abusive. I remember I started watching the show because I had been on tumblr for a while and thought, well this is a popular show on tumblr and looks like something I’d enjoy, so I might as well try it. I remember barely paying attention to the first season and thinking it was kind of silly, and I distinctly remember making fun of it right up until the season 1 finale when that truck slammed into the Impala and I said oh.

I remember sitting in the dining hall between classes, hiding in a corner with my pink headphones and my laptop, watching one episode after the other, completely consumed by it. My personal life was a mess at the time and I was angry and sad and frustrated, but I could forget about everything for a little while when I watched spn. I remember falling in love with Dean Winchester, season 3, when Sam gave him the amulet.

Because I had already spent a lot of time on tumblr, I knew about Castiel. I couldn’t wait to get to season 4, the anticipation killed me. I didn’t really have a choice in shipping destiel, I literally shipped it before I even watched a single episode of the show lol. My first time watching seasons 4 and 5, I remember how mad I would feel every time the opening credits scrolled at the bottom of the screen and Misha Collins wasn’t listed. I cared about almost nothing but Dean and Cas interacting with each other. I was totally enamored by them, by their potential. At some point I got over that and watched the show because I liked the show, but boy did my heart and brain break for destiel.

I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. I started coming out to more people, including people involved in the Christian campus ministry I was heavily involved in, and it was very very hard. It was 2013. The first episode of Supernatural I watched live was the episode where Dean turns into a fucking dog.

I don’t remember when I started reading fanfic, and I had no idea how to read fanfic. A friend invited me to ao3, what is ao3? I didn’t know. I used my email address as my username. I read Twist and Shout and Pie Without Plot and other very popular fics that I knew about because everybody knew about them. I vividly remember the first fics I read because I was 21 years old and had never had an orgasm in my life and believed sex was sinful and so when the sex scenes in fics turned me on, I felt guilty about it.

I quickly got over that and started writing explicit destiel fanfic.

I still had no idea what I was doing. I know the very first fic I ever wrote was a mess, I’ve completely erased all traces of it, but other than that I began posting with abandon. Pretty much everything I’ve ever written for spn is still on tumblr and/or ao3. I was running a Hannibal blog at the time and started posting more Supernatural content than Hannibal content, so I created a sideblog, @deancasheadcanons, and things very quickly got out of hand after that.

I was depressed, I was confused, I was spending my last couple years of college trying to figure out my sexuality, trying to hold onto a religion that was rejecting who I was becoming, trying to find my identity while picking a career path and being sad and being pulled in a hundred different directions. Sometimes I was working three jobs at once, on top of 17-credit-hour semesters. I was getting a degree in a field I did not care about, and I spent every class reading and writing fanfic, scrolling through tumblr, making internet friends, letting my life be consumed by Supernatural. I projected myself completely onto Dean Winchester and partially onto Castiel and did not even realize it.

I started dressing like Dean, and my sister and brother-in-law noticed and assumed I was gay. They were extremely unsubtle in their attempts at getting me to come out by pointing out the flannel and army jackets, and I did not have it in me to admit to them that I was dressing like a fictional character, but I DID tell them I was bisexual.

I went to therapy every week during my senior year of college, and I was embarrassed about how often I talked about my “internet life,” as I called it. I remember having the arbitrary goal of getting 1,000 kudos on a fanfic, and I remember the day it happened for the first time and I remember going to therapy that week and saying that I didn’t feel any different, that I thought getting attention for my writing would make me feel better, somehow, but I still felt the same, and my therapist asked me if I would still be writing if I was the only one who got anything out of it and I said yes. But I was still obsessed with writing things that were meaningful, and despite the fact that I would receive 10 negative/mean anons per day, I never turned anon off because I desperately wanted people to tell me that my writing meant something to them, that it mattered to them. I was fighting with myself every day over my sexuality and my identity and my purpose, and I put all of that on the shoulders of Dean and Cas.

There was also chubby!dean. I had lived my entire life with this inexplicable thing, this shame that I knew I could not share, that I knew I would just have to suffer with for my whole life, and then I joined the spn fandom and found that there were others like me, others that had a fetish and had similar experiences as I did and were drawn to Dean Winchester because there’s no other character that could make eating and gaining weight be as enticing as he makes it (in fanfic). For the first time in my life I had a community of people that I could relate to about a thing that I never thought I would ever be able to talk about with anyone in my life. I don’t remember if I consciously chose to start posting publicly about it, but at some point I did, and I started writing kink fic, but I was still so uncomfortable with myself and so scared of the things I felt, and I tried so hard to temper myself and not offend anyone and not go “too far” and not be too weird and I was so sexually repressed and pent up and full of guilt and shame, and so now when I go back and reread some of the stuff I wrote it feels like reopening an old wound and letting myself bleed out.

I was constantly comparing myself to others and wondering why I wasn’t getting as much attention as so-and-so, and I always made excuses about how maybe my writing was too weird and I was too much and maybe I just wasn’t good enough and I hated myself and wanted to delete everything I ever wrote, but also I’m awesome and receive a lot of attention and get a lot of good feedback but maybe that means I’m just a narcissist! I acted like an asshole online and justified it by saying it wasn’t really me, that I could be someone totally different on tumblr than the person I was in “real life,” but in hindsight, now when I think back on my early 20s, I cannot separate what I was doing in “real life” from what I was doing in the spn fandom. I shared so much of myself with the spn fandom without even recognizing that that’s what I was doing.

And I made mistakes, god I made mistakes, and I tried to be so careful about everything I said but I was also presenting a certain version of myself to the spn fandom so that people would like me (for instance: running a destiel blog and trying my best to hide the fact that I also ship wincest) and still I got in trouble constantly, and I grew bitter and mean because you can only receive the “when are you posting the next chapter?” comment so many times before you want to bang your head into a wall. I became defensive and unkind, afraid to check my inbox because it was a nightmare, and yet unable to turn off anon because, like I said, I desperately needed that feedback, I needed people to tell me that they felt what I felt, that they understood what I was writing and why I was writing it.

I expected Supernatural to give me everything I needed. I fantasized about Dean Winchester being canonically bisexual because I thought it would confirm something in me, that it would somehow make my life a little bit easier. I didn’t want to watch other shows that could maybe help me, I wanted Supernatural to do things for me that it had never promised and would never deliver, and it’s because I was defined by it for so many years. Now that I’m back on tumblr, I’ve been going back through some of my old posts on deancasheadcanons and it’s like reading a stranger’s words. Even so, I find myself telling people “I was deancasheadcanons” instead of “I ran a sideblog called deancasheadcanons” because it really was such a huge part of my identity. What’s wild is that every time I’ve tried to explain it to someone in real life, they just look at me like I’m not making any sense.

It was easy to stop watching Supernatural. I didn’t have cable, and I had been driving to my dad and stepmom’s house each week and watching it on their tv after they had gone to bed. I was in a new relationship with a woman I nearly married, I was back in school for a new career, I was working full time and absolutely did not have time to continue writing fanfic as prolifically as I had done for so many years. I finally reached a breaking point in 2017 and haven’t watched any new episodes since then (I don’t remember the last episode I saw). But now, as I rewatch some old episodes, it is easy to feel the way I felt the first time I watched the show. It’s easy to see why this campy little heartfelt show was a lifeline during my formative adult years.

So it turns out I have never reckoned with any of this, have never written it down, hence the 2k jumble of words you see here. And it’s like, I know that a lot of this may seem silly, trivial, especially for a show that in itself is not very serious, but as it comes to an end I have to reflect on it as a person who put so much of my heart, my creativity, my pain and my floundering identity into it. I am somewhat embarrassed and wish I could respond to this ask with a joke instead, but we’re in a pandemic and I live alone and have had way too much time to think and reflect and become a lot more self-aware, and part of that reflection has definitely been about my time in the spn fandom. I remember thinking the show was never going to end, yet here we are at the end and I felt compelled to type all this out with a desire to, I don’t know, get some closure? Convince myself that I was a whole person, that I wasn’t just a faceless URL posting destiel fics into the void, that my real life was not at all disparate from the time I spent online? In any case, I’ll always think fondly of the time I devoted to Supernatural, and I’ll take the good and the bad and everything in between. Thanks for the nice ask, anon, apparently I needed to get some things off my chest.

#madd replies #long post #spn for ts #this is 2k words i am sorry lmao #wouldn't it be cool if i had any semblance of chill

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okayto · 4 years ago

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Mini-Review: Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions!

I’m so glad @littlestartopaz recommended this to me, because it was SO GOOD.

Yuta wants to start high school afresh: new school far from home, new classmates who don’t know he spent middle school acting out the fantasy of being the mysterious and magic “Dark Flame Master,” new him. But one of his classmates has delusions of her own, and after she accidentally discovers his embarrassing past, Yuta is unwillingly drawn into her life and a growing circle of friends with their own quirks.

The “chunibyo” of the title basically means “8th grade syndrome;” a phase in middle school where some kids inhabit and act out their own fantasy stories, positing themselves as dark magicians, magical girls, and other wielders of magical powers.

I had avoided this for a while, until it was specifically recommended to me, because honestly, it sounds embarrassing, right? It sounds like it’s gonna be an embarrassing manic pixie dream girl scenario. But what it actually contains is the story of how a mixed bag of students--some actively chunibyo, others not--become friends and develop very endearing close relationships, while arguing and frustrating each other because that’s what friends do.

Now, the idea of being the star of what’s essentially your own fantasy-action anime is embarrassing, but what’s notable is that the show doesn’t really hold the chunibyo characters up for mockery. Sure we might laugh at them, but hey--it’s funny to watch friends be silly together. And most viewers, just like some of the characters who have moved on from their chunibyo phases, probably easily understand the mix of soul-wrenching embarrassment and (mild?) fond sentiment that comes with remembering our middle school selves.

But let’s be real: the reactions the two former chunibyo students, Yuta and Shinka have to being reminded of middle school, are #RELATABLE

Rikka, our title chunibyo, in particular uses her fantasy in part to cope with grief, coming from an extended family that (without getting spoilery) didn’t help a young girl to deal with a very hard and life-changing time. Now that she’s in high school, her older sister blackmails Yuta (using an a voice recording of one of his chunibyo speeches) into helping deal with Rikka and things (like the cat she wants to adopt) that pop up.

One thing the show is very good at, though, is not making a single thing the reason behind a character’s chunibyo. One may have started their fantasy inspired by another person, or prompted by an event, but it’s also (while active) part of their personal narrative that influences how they spent their free time, how they see the world and keep blogs or diaries, etc.

But at the same time, they’re still teenagers, and their inner view of themselves...doesn’t always translate skills.

I said the show is primarily about friendship. A lot of that friendship is between Yuta and Rikka, but they accumulate a little group, mainly through Rikka’s attempt to start a magic club. Recruit 1: Kumin, a polite, quiet senpai with no chunibyo history or aspirations.

Kumin starts off seeming like a background character, but by the second season it’s clear she’s not just there for jokes about how she’ll take a nap anywhere. She’s perceptive, and genuinely enjoys watching the others act out their scenarios.

Compared to the other characters who are boisterous in their chunibyo activities (Rikka, Deko, Satone), or vociferously trying not to get drawn in to chunibyo activities (Yuta, Shinka), Kumin is happy to watch and offer encouragement, but she’s also willing to participate if a chunibyo scenario calls for a group.

Incidentally, the show does a really interesting thing where occasionally, we’ll be drawn “inside” the chunibyo world, seeing what Rikka/Deko/whoever see: a fantasy land, big magical weapons, anime-grade magical attacks. Occasionally we’ll also see what this “really” looks like--a couple people running around waving umbrellas at each other--but often we only get the fantasy version. It’s clear that Rikka and co. are legitimately on some level engaging in a shared imagination, and the times when a reluctant character (particularly Yuta or Shinka) willing steps in to the shared illusion are genuinely sweet.

Speaking of, Shinka (aka Morisummer) became one of my favorite characters. Like Yuta, she was chunibyo (”Morisummer the magician”); like Yuta, she chose a high school where she didn’t know anyone expressly so she could reinvent herself as a normal teen. And like Yuta, she’s getting dragged kicking and screaming into chunibyo again.

It would’ve been so easy to make her a bad character. She’s pretty, puts a lot of effort into being popular and likable at school, trying to keep up a good teen girl image, despite being fairly sarcastic at her core. And as loathe as she is to admit it, she likes her friends (even if she won’t admit they’re friends, even if half of them are actively chunibyo, even if she says she’s only hanging around so she can make sure all traces of chunibyo-Morisummer are erased from the internet).

Shinka gets drawn in to the group through Rikka’s apparently only pre-existing friend: Deko, a fellow chunibyo who follows Rikka (or “Eye of the Wicked Lord Shingan”) as her master, and is extremely devoted to the great magician Morisummer. So devoted, in fact, that she has several physical copies of Morisummer’s book containing all her wisdom...aka Shinka-Morisummer’s blog, which Shinka has tried to erase all trace of.

Needless to say, the two don’t seem to get along great.

Deko’s dedication to chunibyo and Morisummer irks Shinka; Shinka’s claim to be Morisummer irks Deko, who refuses to believe the great magician could ever be this sarcastic, mundane girl. Deko’s refusal irks Shinka, bringing out the sarcasm and bluntness Shinka tries to hide from the school at large.

Obviously, they actually become close friends, but heaven help you if you actually say so.

The entire series is an exploration of relationships, and Yuta’s developing closeness with Rikka (hey, we knew it was going to happen) is also sweet. He’s a genuinely likable boy, embarrassed by the vestiges of his former self he sees in Rikka, but often willing to meet her on her level, and both of them also learn/reaffirm the importance of doing things their way, and keeping both of them comfortable, rather than acting a certain way or performing specific acts just because their classmates think their relationship status mandates it.

Speaking of classmates--and I know this is getting long but I CAN’T HELP IT, I LIKED SO MANY ASPECTS OF THIS SERIES--the characters aren’t ridiculed at school. Sure, some people think they’re weird, but there’s no shunning, no arc involving teasing or bullies. Rikka’s often content as a loner, but when she attempts to join in a social circle, she’s welcomed. Shinka’s obsessed with reinventing herself and appearing normal and seems to think that otherwise she’ll be cast out, but multiple characters mention that others at the school notice how she behaves (oddly, on occasion) and there are no social repercussions. Truly nice for a show that has characters spending quite a lot of time in school.

Verdict

English dub? Yes, and it’s got strong performances. Rikka’s voice actor in particular does a fantastic job capturing the difference between chunibyo!Rikka’s confidence and command, and regular!Rikka’s, well, normal awkward teenageness. (Plus, I also found her lower-than animegirl-average voice enjoyable.) (Double plus, I honestly think her English voice is better than her original Japanese voice at showing the difference between her emotions and chunibyo/reality.) Deko’s VA is fantastic showing the enthusiasm of the 9th grader (and what enthusiasm, Deko is like the Energizer Bunny), and Shinka’s VA manages to show her alternating annoyance, cheerfully sweet ideal self, and organizized leader voices.

Visuals: Fine, and I really liked the chunibyo designs for each character’s chunibyo phase. The contrast between chunibyo-vision (giant magic weapons; mysterious lights, fantasy landscapes) and reality (an umbrella or soup ladle; a strip of lights taped to the floor; a local park) was really well done.

Worth watching? Yessss. It’s very manageable--two 12-episode seasons--and while each season contains its own arc (you could stop after the first one, but why), together they make an excellent story. Heck, I think the second season is equal to, if not better than, the first, because the friend group is well-established and even more fun to watch.

Where to watch (USA, as of October 2020): Netflix (dub, sub); Crunchyroll (sub), HIDIVE (sub & dub, plus OVAs and film)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#love chunibyo & other delusions #chuunibyou demo koi ga shitai #Rikka Takanashi #Shinka Nibutani #Sanae Dekomori #anime #brb just going into withdrawal from the lack of Shinka and Deko snarking in my life now #not sure if Rikka was supposed to read as non-neurotypical but I think it's a possible interpretation & I want more #reviews #recommendation

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thecaffeinebookwarrior · 5 years ago

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The Dos and Don’ts of Writing Smart Characters

Since I started this blog, one of the most common questions I’ve received has to do with the portrayal of intelligent characters. This is also one of the most difficult to answer -- excluding questions about characters with specialized knowledge sets, which are fairly easy to answer with source compilations. Most of the questions have to do with: how do you portray a smart character believably? How do you make the audience relate to them? Can I still make them likable? How do I avoid the pitfalls of popular media?

Well, I’m finally here to answer, utilizing examples from some of my favorite (and occasionally, not-so-favorite) media. Let’s jump in to the dos and don’ts of smart characters!

1. Do let the audience follow the character’s thought process.

As demonstrated by: Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders

Albert Einstein allegedly once said, “If you can’t explain it to a five-year-old, you don’t truly understand it.” And the sentiment rings true: true genius doesn’t need to dazzle with big words and technobabble. Instead, it makes the complex appear simple.

The same rings true for brilliant characters. BBC’s Sherlock (more on that later) ceased to satisfy in its later seasons because it began to rely too heavily on visual glitz to avoid actually explaining its mysteries and how they were solved. Similarly, the biggest complaints with block buster franchises -- Star Wars, The Avengers, Game of Thrones -- is that they became obsessed with “subverting expectations” cleverly instead of leading the audiences to their most logical and satisfying conclusions.

Meanwhile, the smartest and most satisfying media dazzles not by staying over the audience’s head, but by illustrating how simplistic the solutions can be.

Let’s start with my boy Tommy Shelby, the charismatic, swaggering protagonist of the charismatic, swaggering crime drama Peaky Blinders. Using only his intelligence (and complete disregard for his own life/suicidal tendencies, but that’s not the point here), Tommy claws his way up from the near-bottom of the social ladder (an impoverished Romani in early 20th century Birmingham) to being a decorated war hero, to being the leader of a feared razor gang, to dominating the race track business, to becoming a business mogul, to becoming a member of parliament and trying to assassinate the leader of the fascist party. He’s also one of the paramount reasons why I’m bisexual.

So how can such a drastic social climb be conveyed believably? Because Tommy -- as the viewpoint character -- is placed in seemingly inescapable situations, and then proceeds to demonstrate that the solutions to those situations have been there the whole time. I recently watched a brilliant video on how this is done, which can be viewed here.

Early in season one, for example, he responds to aggressive new methods by the police by organizing a mass-burning of paintings of the king, and uses the press this garners to publicly shame the methods of the chief inspector who’s been antagonizing him. In the next season, he talks his way into a deal by bluffing that he planted a grenade in his rival’s distillery. My personal favorite is in season four, when he responds to being outgunned by a larger, American gang by contacting their rival -- none other than an Alphonse Capone.

All of Tommy’s victories are satisfying, because they don’t come out of nowhere -- we have access to the same information he does, each victory is carefully foreshadowed, and we are reminded at every turn that failure is a very real possibility (more on that later.) So when he wins, we’re cheering with him.

Other examples: Mark Watney from The Martian, who explains science in its most simplistic terms and with infectious enthusiasm. He would make every character on The Big Bang Theory cry.

Also, Miss Fisher from the AMAZING Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. The dazzling, 1920s, female Sherlock Holmes of your dreams. I cannot recommend it enough.

To apply this to your own writing: Remember you won’t dazzle anyone if you smack them in the face with a “brilliant” plot twist. They want to take a journey with your character, not be left in the dust.

Also, for everyone in my askbox concerned that they’re not smart enough to write intelligent characters, just remember how simple the problems confronting smart characters can be. Put them in a difficult situation, and provide them with a means of getting out. Then, just let them find it.

2. Don’t assume the audience is too stupid to keep up (or try to make them feel too stupid to keep up.)

As demonstrated by: Sherlock Holmes from BBC’s Sherlock.

Say what you will: there were reasons why everyone was so captivated by this show during its first two seasons. It felt fresh. People had yet to become frustrated with the inescapable thirst for Benedict Cumberbatch. The writing was sharp, and the editing clever. And it wove a tantalizing web of mysteries that demanded solution. The problem was, there weren’t any.

The most frustrating for many was how Sherlock faked his death at the end of season two, after which devoted fans spent two years creating intricate theories on how he might have pulled this off. The creators responded by mocking this dedication in the opening episode of season three, by showing a fan club spinning outlandish theories (one of which included Sherlock and Moriarty kissing.) This might have been laughed off -- at the time, many seemed to consider it quite funny -- if the creators had bothered to offer their own explanation of how Sherlock survived. They didn’t. And so began a seemingly endless loop of huge cliffhangers that promised -- and consistently failed to deliver -- satisfying answers.

The most egregious examples occur in season four, which provided answers to questions no one asked, and withheld answers for things everyone wanted to know. For example, did you know that the real reason Moriarty engaged Sherlock is because he was hypnotized by Sherlock’s secret evil sister? The same one who killed Sherlock’s best friend, whom Sherlock convinced himself was a dog? Yes, that was a real plot point, in the climax of the series. It’s an effort to befuddle the audience with brilliant and unexpected writing, but instead pulled them out of a story they were already invested in and made them far more critical of its pre-existing faults.

It’s pointed out in the brilliant (if bluntly named) Sherlock Is Garbage, And Here’s Why that Moffat can be a great writer, but is a consistently terrible show runner, because he’s more interested in dazzling the audience with cleverness than actually telling a satisfying story. The video also points out that the show often implied Sherlock’s brilliance, without ever letting the audience follow along with his actions or thought-process in a way that DEMONSTRATED his brilliance.

I highly recommend giving the aforementioned video a watch, because it is not only a great explanation of how Sherlock Holmes can be best utilized, but about how writing itself can be best utilized.

Other examples: The Big Bang Theory. As Wisecrack points out in their wonderful video on the subject, the punchline of every joke is “oh look, these characters are smart nerds!” which is repetitious at best and downright insulting at worst.

How to avoid this in your writing: Treat the audience as your equal. You’re not trying to bedazzle them, you’re trying to take them on a journey with you. Let them be delighted when you are. Don’t constantly try to mislead them or hold intelligence over their head, and they will love you for it. Also, cheap tricks do not yield a satisfying story: readers will know when you went into a narrative without a plan, and they won’t appreciate it.

3. Do remember that smart people can be kind and optimistic!

As demonstrated by: Shuri from Black Panther.

Yes, brilliant people can be unhappy and isolated by their intelligence, or rejected by society. But remember that intelligence isn’t synonymous with a cantankerous attitude, or an excuse to be a pugnacious ass to those around you!

Part of the reason why Shuri of 2018′s Black Panther was such a breath of fresh air was the fact that she subverted almost all preconceptions about how a genius looks, acts, and regards the world. And it’s not just the fact that she isn’t a sullen, middle-aged white man that makes her stand out: Shuri has an effervescent attitude, and genuinely loves contributing to her country and family. She referred to sound-proof boots as “sneakers” (and then explained the pun when her brother didn’t get it.) She’s fashionable. She teases her older brother, and cries when he is apparently killed. She’s up on meme culture. This makes her unlike pretty much every other genius portrayed in the MCU.

Except maybe the Hulk. He can dab now.

Shuri is also allowed to take pride in her genius, and can be a bit insufferable about it, which makes her more enjoyable and rounded. But she is an excellent example of how genius can be explored and portrayed in fiction, and I will forever be embittered that she was underutilized in Infinity War and Endgame.

Why, for example, are all geniuses portrayed as arrogant misanthropes? Albert Einstein battled depression, but he is also said to have enjoyed blowing bubbles and watching puppet shows. He was kind to those who knew him. Similarly, Alan Turing behaved little like his fictional counterpart, described as “shy but outgoing,” with a love of being outdoors. Nikola Tesla fell in love with a pigeon. Why do we have to portray these people so damn gravely?

Other examples: Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds. Also an excellent portrayal of an intelligent person on the autism spectrum, as he struggles to interface socially but cares profusely for his fellow human beings. He is brilliant, and completely precious.

Also, Sherlock Holmes -- the original version, and all faithful adaptations thereof. Anyone who thinks Sherlock is an austere, antisocial jerk isn’t familiar with the original canon. He blushed when Watson complimented his intelligence, for God’s sake.

Then there’s Elle Woods from Legally Blonde and Marge from Fargo. Brilliant, upbeat, optimistic geniuses.

To apply this to your own writing: If you have a smart character who hates everyone around them for no identifiable reason, ask yourself why this is necessary and what this adds to the plot. Are they angry about injustice, towards themselves or others? Are they frustrated with an inability to relate to people? Do they want to protect themselves or their family at all costs, including politeness? If not, question why your brilliant character can’t also be kind to those around them.

4. Don’t make your character perfect at everything they do.

As demonstrated by: Wesley Crusher from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Ah, Wesley. Some call him the original Mary Sue, and it’s one of the only times I’ve seen the term applied with some accuracy. He is somehow the most gifted and least qualified person on The Enterprise. He’s Hermione Granger without the charm, jumping in to answer questions before any of the trained officers in the room have the chance to, always in the right. His only obstacle? Why, the boorish adults he’s surrounded with simply don’t understand his brilliance!

As early as the series’ very second episode, Wesley -- inebriated by an alien illness -- forcibly takes over the ship from Captain Picard, only to later save it from a threat with a reverse tractor beam of his own design.

Wesley was obviously inserted as a means of attracting younger viewers, but failed egregiously, because he was too annoyingly perfect for kids to relate too, and not cool enough for them to be invested in. I binge-watched the various Star Trek series in my youth for Spock, Data, and my wife Seven of Nine, not to watch seasoned military and scientific officers get lectured by an adolescent. Even Wil Wheaton, who had the misfortune of portraying this character, expressed a dislike for him.

Precocious children are great, if you get them right. But get them wrong, and they can easily become your most annoying character, marring the face of otherwise great media. The most important thing you can do for a brilliant character is endow them with weaknesses and flaws -- even something as small as Shuri’s fondness for teasing her older brother made her enjoyable, as anyone with siblings could relate to their dynamic.

But, what if you want a supernaturally talented character who not only fails to be a ray of sunshine, but is something of an arrogant, antisocial jerk? Can they still work, especially if they also happen to be a child?

Yes, under one extremely important condition:

5. Do keep your characters out of their depth!

As demonstrated by: Number Five from Umbrella Academy.

Okay, he’s not exactly a child. He’s a fifty-eight-year-old trapped in a child’s body, who’s traveled back in time from a post-apocalyptic future to warn his siblings of an incoming Armageddon. In other news, Umbrella Academy is a weird show. Unlike the comics, however, the apes don’t engage in prostitution.

The effect, however, remains the same: a preternaturally talented child who talks down to everyone around him, including his (apparently) older siblings. So why does he work while Wesley fails so egregiously?

For one thing, it’s demonstrated early on that Five has the skills to back up his sanctimonious attitude, with the delightfully ultraviolent Istanbul (Not Constantinople) sequence. It also helps that he lacks Wesley’s squeaky-clean moral code, to the point at which he can get drunk in public or kill without remorse.

But: the element most vital to his success as a character is the fact that he’s kept completely, and consistently, out of his depth. He knows the world will end in eight days, but he doesn’t know how this will transpire or how to stop it. Ultimately, he fails again to stop the apocalypse, and must travel back in time with his siblings for another chance.

Most authors have the impulse to demonstrate a character’s brilliance by allowing them to succeed against insurmountable odds, but the Umbrella Academy writers show tremendous wisdom in allowing Five to fail. This allows the audience to empathize with him, and countermands the effects of his arrogant attitude.

This advice isn’t just true for pint-sized prodigies. Look back over this list, and take notes of how often the most successful characters are allowed to fail, to have flaws, and to ascend past their comfort zone.

Other examples: Virtually every successful example on this list.

Tommy Shelby, a character of limitless ambition, conducts a new, perilous climb outside of his social rank each season, which almost always puts him in positions of mortal danger. He faces threats both external (rival gangs, evil priests, and rising fascists) and internal (hello PTSD, suicidal tendencies, and crippling addiction) but either way, we understand that his fast-paced climb is not for the weak-willed or faint-hearted.

Mark Watney is a brilliant scientist who has been stranded in an utterly impossible situation for which absolutely no one could be adequately prepared (spoilers: it’s on Mars.) We are drawn in by his plight, and how he could possibly escape from it, and there we come to admire him for his courage, optimism, and humor.

Shuri, though not the main character of Black Panther, is allowed to show off both tremendous gifts and vulnerability, as she is powerless to stop the apparent death of her beloved older brother. She watches Wakanda’s takeover both as an innovator and a young woman, and a large reason for her success is that she is allowed to be both.

How to apply this to your writing: When portraying intelligent characters, take stock of how often they fail, their level of control over their surroundings, their vulnerability, and their flaws. We don’t want to read about flawless deities. We want to read about characters who embody and personify our humanity. So remember they need to fall down in order to pull themselves up.

Happy writing, everybody!

#long post for ts #writing tips #writing smart characters #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #mark watney #the martian #miss fisher's murder mysteries #shuri #black panther #spencer reid #criminal minds #legally blonde #fargo #number five #the umbrella academy #star trek #star trek: the next generation

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Piper Sargasso

Piper Sargasso has 25 stories at Gossamer, but don’t miss her website where the fics each have cover collage art. If you are a fan of Mulder/Scully romance, there are a lot of MSR fics to read that are set in different seasons of the show. But like the show that never stuck to one type of story, Piper’s stories have variety, so you can also find AUs and /Other. Big thanks to Piper for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

It does, but I love that people are still into it! Writers back in the day put so much work and love into their writing, and it's nice to know that the stories are still being appreciated to this day. As for my own stories, it puts a huge smile on my face to know there are still people out there checking them out and hopefully enjoying them.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

It was such a positive period of my life. I made some amazing friends who became something like older sisters (and some brothers) to me, even though I was a little ridiculous when I was in my early to mid-twenties. It was also a much-needed confidence booster. I was a pretty shy person and loved writing, but never had the nerve to show anything to anyone. My first fanfic was completely horrible, but because of it I made my first XF friend and super beta, Mimic117. Between her guidance and the encouraging words from my Yahoo group I was able to do something I really loved and felt great about myself and my abilities for the first time. That will stay with me forever. That first story was truly atrocious, but it was a catalyst for great things in my life when I needed them the most.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I remember trying this cool new thing called an AOL chat room, but they were more interested in perving on each other than talking about the show. Once I knew about fanfiction I kept seeing that some of my favorite authors kept mentioning IWTBXF in their notes, a Yahoo group named I Want to Believe. I looked it up, joined, and with great trepidation made my introductory post. Everyone was so warm and welcoming, and talking to my favorite authors in the group was a little like meeting a celebrity and finding out that they're awesome in real life. After IWTBXF fell apart, an off-shoot called Beyond the Sea was created with almost all of the original group transferring over. I stuck to my little family there and didn't branch out into much else, other than the rare dip into Haven. Ephemeral and Gossamer, of course.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Mostly the overwhelming feeling of acceptance and confidence to write, something I was sorely lacking before in my life. I fell in with the best group, that's for sure! They made me feel like being a professional writer could be an achievable goal.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

The commercial advertising. The pilot spoke to my supernatural-loving, angsty 15 year-old soul. I watched it religiously every week. There was nothing like it. It was off-beat, but serious (most of the time) and fulfilled my insatiable craving for the paranormal and weird. You just couldn't get that from Melrose Place and Beavis and Butthead, you know? It definitely helped that David Duchovny was adorable and the character of Scully was the strong and intelligent icon we needed in the 90's and beyond.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

In high school I had a friend who was as obsessed with the show as I was. Maybe more, since she once had a slumber party that was exclusively to binge watch her taped episodes (the other girls who wanted to mess around with spells and the Ouija board weren't thrilled that she couldn't be swayed away from it) and she often drove me from play rehearsals in her convertible with the top down and the theme song blasting to the heavens, much to my delight and mortification. A couple years after we graduated she told me about the piece of fanfic she wrote. Insert a record screech here. What?! You mean there are thousands of stories dedicated to my favorite show? And hundreds more get added every month?! I was obsessed. If I could've stopped working and slept at my computer desk I would have.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Sadly it's nonexistent these days. I have great memories and it holds a big piece of my heart, but I haven't been active in a long time. I would love to see a huge revival, and would definitely want to be involved in that in some way, were it to happen.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I read a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction for a while, but I never could expend the kind of energy and time I did for the X-Files fandom. It came at a perfect time in my life, and so far nothing else has measured up to it.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Besides XF characters? Off the top of my head I really love Hermione Granger, Buffy Summers, Elizabeth Bennet, and Claire Fraser for their sass and strength of character, Severus Snape for his complexity, and Christina Ricci's version of Wednesday Addams for her pure awesomeness. She's pretty much my spirit animal.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I do occasionally. I watched the series from season 1-7 so many times that I started to burn out, but I get on my X-Files kicks sometimes and binge it again.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

Like with the show, I'll get nostalgic and need to consume all the fanfics my greedy little eyes can behold until I move on to something else. It can feel a little lonely though, if you'll excuse the drama. We're not in the heyday anymore, so it feels a little like walking through a ghost town. Many of the stories out there are suspended in time because the show ended, or people stopped writing.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

I know I have dozens, but I'm drawing a blank. My ultimate favorite is any well-written MSR casefile with UST finally resulting in RST. Those are my unicorns!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I have a silly one called Baby, It's Cold Outside that I sometimes read around Christmastime. It was a fluffy song-fic, but I can see the scene so clearly in my mind when I read it and it's just pure fun. I also like my Donnie Pfaster series. I can see the potential in my writing with those, which makes me feel I could really write something special someday. Plus, he's such an interesting little slimeball to write and read about. Bless his heart.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I still think about the two WIPs I haven't finished. I wrote myself into a corner with This Mortal Coil, and honestly I think it needs a total overhaul. I think Dana Scully's Diary would be a fun one to finish. I hate that I never finished them.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I think about writing fanfic now and then and I've had a couple original novels sketched out, but there are so many other demands on my time that I haven't gotten very far. I still plan to see the novels through, even if no one but interested friends and family read them.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I used to watch an episode and really study the actors' expressions and actions, always trying to find new angles to the stories we all know. A lot of times things would just come to me and I'd get so excited I couldn't sleep until I wrote a good chunk of it down.

What's the story behind your pen name?

The friend who introduced me to fanfic told me the best way to choose a pen name was to make sure it derives from the show. For a couple days I looked at the titles and summaries of episodes and agonized over just the right name. Finally Piper Maru and the summary from Triangle, which mentions the Sargasso sea, stood out and just clicked.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My now husband always knew, and he thought it was cool that I had a hobby that made me so happy, but he was never a reader. My parents found out when I was about 24 and my step-dad would tell EVERYONE about it, much to my horror. Most reactions were of the bland, "Oh yeah? That's nice." variety but I definitely got some weird looks from others. The worst was when I found out how much of my racier MSR stories my parents read. My step-dad thought it was hilarious and teased me a little. My usually open-minded mom was uncomfortable, but tried to be supportive. It's all fun and games until your daughter starts writing psuedo-erotica for anyone to see!

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Circe Invidiosa very generously hosts a page for me at http://pipers.invidiosa.com.

(Posted by Lilydale on January 26, 2021)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #piper sargasso

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 years ago

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What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 2/2)

Part two, sukers! Let’s do this. Click here to read part one.

“Senses and Insensitivity”: The B-plot in this episode is outstanding. It shows the audience more about Eda and Lilith's love for each other as sisters, which actually gets a lot more heartbreaking, given what happens in "Agony of a Witch." I loved every minute of it...which is why it makes it weird that it's just the B-plot. Because while the main story is ok, I could do without it. It makes King look like a jerk, and in no way does it feel like he means it when he apologizes. Plus, the fact that Luz and King get saved by Dana's self-insert and don't even do anything to stop Piniet just doesn't sit right with me. Although, I do find the jokes about fandom mentality to be pretty funny. If it wasn't for Eda's storyline with Lilith, "Senses and Insensitivity" might just be a C+ of an episode. As is, I'll be kind enough to give it a B-.

“Adventures in the Elements'': And here it is. The episode that everyone saw months beforehand because some jackhole decided to leak it to the internet. And what an episode it is. We get some great mentor/motherly moments from Eda. Some perfect course correction from Ed and Em going from unlikable antagonists to decent supporting characters. Having Luz learn a second spell, and having the growth between her and Amity's relationship. And a semi-enjoyable B-plot with King and an army of stuffed animals (which is just as funny as it sounds). My problem? Pacing. While King's subplot about an army of stuffed animals is fun, I feel like more time should have been dedicated to Luz getting trained by Eda. That way, it’ll feel natural to see as Luz reaches her breaking point due to going nowhere with Eda's training, which would feel justified rather than making Luz come across as kind of whiney in the episode (at least to me, she does). Another issue I have is with how Luz and Amity's relationship is presented in this episode. It genuinely feels like we skipped an episode because Amity went from "thinking about it" to getting distracted by waving at her bestie. Now keep in mind, I'm the first one to say "who cares" when people bring up the poor pacing in Luz and Amity's relationship due to Disney having little to nothing in terms of LGBTQ+ representation in children's animation. But the thing is, their relationship feels more properly paced in future episodes, but it's not the case here. So it's gonna have to be another B- in that regard.

(And seriously, don't ever leak episodes from a show, even if it's your favorite. Because not only does it ruin the experience for fans who want to support it the right way, but it also hurts the show itself. Because if people stop watching episodes, guess what? They'll stop making them. And nobody wants that.)

“The First Day”: Is it odd that I like an episode that's clearly not great? Because there's so much about "The First Day" that I enjoy. I like the entirety of the detention track and the fact that they're not typical troublemakers. I like the message about how it's unfair to force children to learn something they're not interested in because it's for a "better education." And I would frickin' take a bullet for Puddles. Unfortunately, this episode has some of the worst pacing in the series. Let's look at what this episode has to accomplish: It has to force Luz into a track and explain why it's a poor fit for her. It has to have Luz be interested in another track and get in trouble due to being too curious. It has to establish a connection between Luz and the detention track so they can have a heartbreaking third-act breakup. It has to set up, then introduce, a monster that will try to destroy Hexide. And finally, defeating the creature has to tie into why it's a good idea for students to mix tracks. That is a lot to do in under twenty-two minutes, and it makes the episode feels like it’s on fast foward at times. I'd say the solution would be to cut King's substitute teacher subplot (which only has value with one good joke), but that would only give "The First Day" a couple of extra seconds. So, really, the only way to "fix" the episode is to probably give it a few minutes by making it a forty-five-minute special. I'm sure fans wouldn't mind that. They love Luz and her journey enough that I'm sure they would be more than ok to see a more lengthy experience through the halls of Hexide. But that's not what we got, so it's gonna have to be a D+ episode. I don't hate it, but I don't blame others who do.

“Really Small Problems”: "Ugh, it's the cliche--" WE'VE! BEEN! OVER THIS! Does this episode have a cliche storyline? Yes. Is this pretty much the first filler episode of the series? Of course. But is it still entertaining? Without a doubt. There are great jokes, adorable moments with Luz and King's friendship, and little moments that I love. Like the fact that it was an accident that King shrunk Willow and Gus, and how Luz treated the situation calmly and rationally instead of blowing her stack. "Really Small Problems" may not be high up on my favorites list, but it's at least a fun B episode that was well worth a single viewing.

“Understanding Willow”: You wanna know what impresses me the most about The Owl House? The fact that Dana and her writers knew what the fans exactly want before they even started asking for it. The fans wanted to know what happened between Willow and Amity, and so the staff showed us. Fans wanted to see what Mr. and Mrs. Blight are really like, and the staff showed us. Fans wanted a Luz and Amity centric adventure, and the staff gave it to us. And because they've been working on the first season long before fan input started coming out, that means that we were going to get what we want before even having to ask. Most shows would save content in "Understanding Willow" for a second and even third season, so it amazes me that the writers waste no time in giving us the good stuff. Add that with a great "I'm sorry" speech from Amity, cute moments between her and Luz, Luz being an understanding friend, and Eda's bell dance, and you've got yourself an A+ of an episode.

As I said, I've already reviewed the last four episodes. But if you're interested in what I have to say, here are the condensed versions of my thoughts. Click the episode titles if you want to see the full review:

“Enchanted Grom Fright”: Speaking of giving the fans what they want, the fans have been obsessed over Lumity damn near since the beginning, myself included. So now you're gonna give us a prom episode filled with flirting in the hallway, a dope dance sequence, and the reveal that Amity has a crush on Luz? All while showing more of Luz's relationship with her mother and the fear Luz has of telling Camila the truth?! Then consider this an A+ episode that might just be a crucial moment in Disney's history!

“Wing it Like Witches”: This is a fantastic episode. And no, it's not because of Amity's gay panic attacks towards Luz...ok, it's partially because of that. But it's also because this episode shows how far characters come developmental wise. Willow became more confident, and Amity is actually part of the group now. It all comes together when the most developed characters team up against one who'll most likely get little development. It's a solid A of an episode that always leaves me smiling when I watch it.

“Agony of a Witch”: Yup. The single image of Luz crying is still enough to tear me up inside. And man, what an episode. The tension, the drama, the REVEAL! Lilith admitting she cursed Eda still shocks me because it could not have been farther from what I expected. Especially given the sisterly bond that we've seen in past episodes. So yeah, this is another A+ for sure.

“Young Blood, Old Souls”: I've heard some people say that the season finale is underwhelming, and I think I know why? You see, this has what I like to call Infinity War to Endgame syndrome. Part one does a great job of setting up the tension and stakes, that part two seems to pale in comparison in an attempt to relieve some of that tension. Because since part one ended, people have been hyping themselves up for part two to be such an epic conclusion that it couldn't have completely lived up to the ridiculously high standards. It's the same reason why I never felt disappointed with either Avengers: Endgame or "Young Blood, Old Souls." I had high expectations, sure, but I also reminded myself that there is a chance that either might be unenjoyable. And guess what? I consider Avengers: Endgame an A+ movie and "Young Blood, Old Souls" an A+ episode. Is either story perfect? No, but here's the thing. I could list all the nitpicks I have, or I could keep my big mouth shut and just enjoy it for the parts that are perfect.

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And that's it! That's what I think about every single episode of The Owl House so far. As for my thoughts on the show itself, I think it's incredible. It has a nice balance of comedy and drama with specific episodes, has an intriguing story, and includes some of the best representation that Disney has had in decades. But that doesn't mean the show is perfect. Pacing can be a bit off at times, some B-plots are just unnecessary to pad out the time, and not every joke can land. But to be fair, this is season one. Dana Terrace and her crew have more than enough time to polish out the rough parts for what is hoped to be a better season two. And I still can’t to see what they have in store for us.

#the owl house #the owl house review #what i thought about

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takaraphoenix · 4 years ago

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Hi! What are your thoughts about OUAT.

That’s a complex, layered answer because my feelings for OUaT are very complex. The short of it is that, obsession and love level wise, this was my Shadowhunters before Shadowhunters existed as a show. I completely loved and adored this show, I watched every episode as soon as it came out, with a single-minded focus (as in: normally, when watching TV, I use the show as a background noise to my writing. There is only a select handful of TV shows that ever managed to get my full, undivided attention of me turning all else off to only focus on the show).

I love OUaT to bits and pieces. However, much like Shadowhunters, it was far from a flawless show. Very, very, very far. Seriously, it’s an absolute mess in many aspects but damn do I love it.

It appeals to many of the things I love. For one, classic Disney movies. For another, fairy tales - but the very specific niche genre of fairy tale crossovers, which is just... my biggest weakness, possibly. Thirdly, characters you can get invested in and love to bits and pieces.And fourth, shipping.

This is one of the incredibly small, tiny pool of shows where I absolutely adore the canon ships, not just in a “daw it’s cute enough” way that makes me accept that it is The Canon Ship That’s Happening, but in a way that has me actively invested in and rooting for those absolute dumbasses. And. Not just one ship, usually it’s like “huh I am surprisingly invested in this one ship”, but - Rumpel/Belle, Hook/Emma, David/Snow?? Yes, please, inject it into my veins.

Though also just as attached to my non-canon ships - REGINA/EMMA FOR LIFE, Ruby/Snow, Hook/David. And that duality of being really invested in the non-canon ships but still absolutely loving the canon ships? That is... completely and entirely unique to OUaT for me. Never happened outside this show.

I adore that this show did one of the things that I complained Descendants didn’t - it respects Snow White, the very first Disney princess, and puts her front and center. Never-ever made sense to me that Descendants just went “uuuh we at random picked Belle to rule all the kingdoms because I dunno the head writer loves Beauty and the Beast the most”... Snow White was Disney’s very first and I do think she deserves more respect.

The things they did with her! They made her an actual active heroine. Not a little girl hiding out in the woods. They explored possibilities and turned her into a total badass, who never lost the main qualities of Disney’s Snow White though. Her nurturing, loving, gentle soul. That is what I adore about her, because very often when trying to portray strong female characters, media removes their softness, makes them hardened to make them a badass.

Regina and Emma have such a brilliant canon dynamic - even beyond the fanon ship. The way they mended and grew together and became friends. The growth, the softness, the shared custody. I love them.

And with both Regina and Rumpel, I love the day they gradually progressed from “main antagonist from season 1″ to “part of the family”. This show is a found family feast.

It wasn’t flawless. It had some pacing issues, in my opinion. Like the Peter Pan arc was too long. They went hiking for like 12 episodes. That one still sticks with me as having bored me. And I also do think it was a huge mistake to make Peter Pan, one of Disney’s heroes a villain. He was a great villain and his actor absolutely killed it, don’t get me wrong, but in the context of Disney canon, it was a bit jarring.

The same is to be said about Arthur. Don’t take King Arthur, of all people, and turn him into a jackass. That didn’t sit right with me and I think that could, and should, have been handled differently.

As a huge fan of Wizard of Oz canon, I have mixed feelings about Zelina. She was kind of a joke most of the time, her raping Robin was not good at all (beeecause that’s what it is when you shapeshift into the person the other one loves and then have sex with them under pretense to get yourself pregnant), but in the end it - and her - fit relatively well into all of this.

Was completely wasted for the entire Frozen arc, but even I, someone who loathes that movie with a burning passion, genuinely enjoyed the way the show was trying to fix it? Answer all the unanswered question the movie left and actually tie it into the Snow Queen fairy tale? Like, that was a feast and I love that they did that. Also Ingrid was hot and checked all my boxes so there’s that.

In the same way, I adore what they did with Ursula. That they took the scraped canon of Ursula being Triton’s sister and worked with that and that they in the end decided to redeem her too - though I am still very disappointed that we never got to see Ursula actually interact with Ariel at all. That’d have been so interesting. (Also, I admit, they went really overkill with having three Ursulas. Regina pretending to be Ursula, Ursula the ancient golden statue goddess and the actual Ursula, daughter of Poseidon).

I love Hades. I love Greg Germann’s take on Hades. He absolutely killed it. The whole underworld story was incredibly awesome to me personally - though I know others didn’t like that half-season as much. But I really dug that.

I think that it started to fizz out after that though and that after the underworld storyline, they probably should have drawn it to a close, because... after everything, after five whole seasons of watching redemption and working hard to make up for the things you did in the past, they really just decided “and now Regina is gonna physically split off her Evil Queen”... and made that Evil Queen the villain. That felt insanely repetitive of season 1 and like a set-back for Regina.

(The second half of that season didn’t go better because honestly that whole nonsense with “not only is Rumpel the son of Peter Pan, nope, now we bring in his mom the Evil Fairy”, featuring the very overused trope of “baby is magically aged up to be a character who can contribute to the plot”... Not the best.)

Also I refuse to acknowledge the existence of that reboot season. It’s bullshit is what it is. The show had the perfect ending. And then they immediately slapped a reboot onto it... why? If they had taken their time, wait ten years until nostalgia for the show kicks in and the actors all need work again, and do a proper “now Henry goes through shit”, that’d have actually been interesting, but... the moment I saw “so... we keep half the main cast, break up some OTPs, don’t age the adults up but age Henry up and also there is now a second Cinderella”, I knew that’s not gonna be good.

Seriously, the second Cinderella is what really fucked it over for me. What I loved about OUaT was that it gave very specific rules to its universe.

The Author documents the tales. The Author gives them their spin. But they are still the same tale. Be that the Brothers Grimm, who documented Cinderella, or then Walt Disney, it was still Cinderella, from the Enchanted Forest. Their stories were simply written down.

That they then, in the reboot season, went “well, actually There Are Many Cinderellas!!” completely contradicts the previously established rules of this world? Because yes, the concept very similar to Cinderella actually exists in many cultures - and that was the cool thing of OUaT’s take, because pressumably that is because the Author was in said culture at said time and documented the tale, as is the Author’s job.

Especially since it was so... unnecessary? I mean, they gave Rapunzel one half-assed episode in the past, they never tackled Gold Mary, they could have shown what became of Hänsel and Gretel now also grown up, etc. There were other unused characters that could have been brought in instead of throwing the rules out of the window.

But moving on from that; I love that they didn’t limit themselves to Disney movies - that they did prominently put Red Riding Hood (my favorite fairy tale character) in there, that they worked with mythology as well as books.

One thing they absolutely fucked up was their spin-off though. Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. They made that. They decided that, out of everything touched upon in the series, Alice’s tale should get a spin-off... and then they didn’t use any of the actual characters?

Alice herself never got an appearance in OUaT, not prior or after the spin-off (only very much later in the reboot season, with a different Alice)

They had the Queen of Hearts on OUaT, but they didn’t use her as the main antagonist, or at least a huge deal, on Wonderland

They had the freaking Mad Hatter on OUaT, but he doesn’t even have a single cameo on Wonderland

And don’t give me “Seb Stan was too busy!”, because... even then, they could have recast. The Mad Hatter is kind of a big part of Alice in Wonderland, but... they ignored the majority of what is important in AiW in general, so there is that

They named the Red Queen Anastasia and very heavily implied that yes, the Anastasia who was the stepsister of Cinderella - but when OUaT’s original Cinderella got her stepsisters introduced, they suddenly had entirely different names than the Disney stepsisters and of course it wasn’t the same actress either

They introduced Jafar (for some reason) in Wonderland. And then recast him when Aladdin was tackled on OUaT and never addressed any of the things that happened on Wonderland, especially not how Jafar was the son of the sultan which would technically make him Jasmine’s brother

It was nearly dumb to move Will Scarlet to OUaT after the spin-off was axed, because at that point they legit just ignored Wonderland as a whole so this acknowledgment felt very off. But then it’s Michael Socha and I love him so I ain’t gonna complain about that.

So yes, I have mild issues with how they made a spin-off that had basically no inpact on the show, despite many elements that should have crossed over and carried significance in both shows.

Lastly, because we’re on the topic of spin-offs, I still would absolutely kill for a spin-off about Mulan, Merida and Ruby. Those three, exploring the Enchanting Forest together, training together, being gay together, it was the best thing. Which does force me to mention the gay. Because... Mulan was canonically in love with Aurora and when they set her up to find Ruby and journey with her, it came really off as them trying to make Mulan/Ruby happen. Then they introduce Merida, a very famously single princess, and you start to wonder. But in the end, it’s Ruby who ends up with Dorothy, aka two characters not associated with Disney. And it makes you wonder. (It doesn’t. We all know Disney is hugely homophobic. We all know OUaT most likely had some Disney executive yelling at them for even implying one of their characters may be gay. So they backtracked to give the wlw storyline to two characters that weren’t Disney property.)

Ah, I don’t like ending things on a negative note so one last positive - as weirdly as the Dark Swan arc was handled at parts, I absolutely love that Emma’s name being Swan really did pay off in making her the Swan Princess in the end and giving a nudge to Swan Lake with the Dark Swan. That was such a cool pay-off of something as small as a last name.

So, to sum it up, there’s some flaws in the writing, some things I wish would have been explored more, but overall good gods do I love and adore this TV show.

#Once Upon a Time #Once Upon a Time in Wonderland #Disney #Anonymous

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darkpoisonouslove · 4 years ago

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“The Shadow Phoenix” Thoughts

Here comes the last special. Honestly, I am kinda nervous about this because they are shoving the whole season 2 in one episode and I have a feeling that that will not go well. Unless, of course, they thought of making more but abandoned it after this special but I highly doubt that since I think I’ve seen the final showdown in s2 being in this special. Hopefully, it won’t be a full disaster. I just don’t know what to expect anymore.- “her ghostly sister - Daphne”? This recap is on thin fucking ice (pun unintended). Careful with the wording there! This sounds horrible. There are better ways to put it.

- Wait, new outfits for Winx? Really? Ugh!

- Shadowhaunt is happening already. But hey, it’s Layla! And she managed to free the pixies! Wasn’t that supposed to fail, though? Or are they just trying to save time and remove the second trip to Shadowhaunt for the pixies? (Hey, does that mean no Amentia? Please and thank you!) I hate Darkar’s new voice.

- Oh, no! He got them back. But were those shadow tendrils in the original? I think I would remember them if they had been.

- Well, Layla got to Alfea fast. I know they are trying not to waste time but this is cutting down on the suspense. At least she is already bonding with Winx (and especially Musa).

- That scene with Darkar freeing the Trix was completely destroyed. First, they never got to show why Lightrock is so horrible (and it is horrible even to me although I haven’t had an evil routine). Not to mention that they never said how Darkar learned about them which was in s2. And they’re back at Shadowhaunt. What happened to Gloomix?

- Nvm, he gave it to them but they never got to try it on Lightrock guards. Such a shame! Also, calling him “master”? And even repeating it twice? They are acting like docile stupid minions. Say what? The Trix would never! I am pretty sure that wasn’t in s2 even if they still knelt. This is fucked up, them kneeling in front of him. Talk about wrong implications.

- Why did Faragonda only send Bloom and Stella? So that we can’t have the others in a scene? Or so that they can lose against the Trix who just had a power-up? Also, how is it that when they think no one will know they are sneaking around, the one they’re trying to ambush always knows that they’re there?

- Yeah, just send the fairy of sunlight underground where there’s no sun! Logic! And they didn’t recognize the Trix at first? Those are obviously not “things”, Bloom. Though, she might have suffered a concussion from the way they blasted her into the ground.

- “Shadow whirlwind”? What, did Darkar somehow imbue them with his own essence through the Gloomix and now they have shadow powers? I also resent the implications in this so, hopefully, I am wrong and this is just a coincidence.

- What did Darcy do to Bloom? And will they just keep calling him “The Phoenix” instead of Darkar? Please, no! That is somehow actually worse than Lord Darkar.

- Ugh, fake Avalon. Here we go. Though, at least he wasn’t in the first 1/4th of this. That’s something.

- The bonding with the pixies is cute. But did Tune just say “you rock”? Tune? The pixie of manners? What have they done? Smh.

- But can you keep them safe? Can you really, Faragonda? You sent them in Shadowhaunt instead of going yourself! Or at least accompanying them! And you’re not gonna get better at protecting them from here on.

- Daphne is too little in that dream of Bloom’s. If she was still a kid when Bloom was born, that means that she should be aging while she’s a spirit and we already saw that she was all grown up when Bloom was a baby in that flashback in “Revenge of the Trix”. This is illogical and she actually looks even younger than she does in the corresponding dream in s2.

- Ugh, that scene with the flowers! Why are they all crushing on him? And he’s using it against them. Also, is it possible that it was him that somehow brought on the dream about her parents? How else could he tell that she had a dream? Shouldn’t they discuss her birth parents in private also? Everyone is there listening. At least they’re back to their normal outfits.

- Is Sky jealous just from hearing Avalon’s name? That was better done in s2. They are really just chopping off everything that isn’t absolutely necessary and it kinda fucks up even the necessary things.

- At least it was Helia that offered them to see his sketches and not Stella grabbing them from him... which I think was what happened in s2.

- Are the Trix just gonna steal the Codex right now? From this celebration? Otherwise, they will have to go to Red Fountain twice and half the episode is almost up. Well, I guess not. Instead we get more Bloom and Sky stupidity. Bloom isn’t nearly as obsessed with Avalon as she was in s2 (she hasn’t had the time here) and he has no reason to be acting the way he is.

- “Listen, Sky, do me a favor and hang up the phone.” XD I love it! She finally told him off! And she really looks more interested in Avalon’s help with her parents rather than with him here. All I know is that I’m on her side this time while in s2 both she and Sky were being stupid but I understood him more. But he keeps being his douche-y self.

- Flora just daydreamed the monster that was supposed to attack Red Fountain but didn’t? Wow. Wow! WOW! ... Okay.

- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, my god. Scratch everything I said about the Bloom and Sky drama. She not only started talking about it to Avalon, she hugged him! Wtf! Bloom, you do realize that you’re just giving Sky proof for his words, right? Maybe she was looking for consolation but she could have sought it out with her best friends aka Winx who we’ve seen absolutely nothing of (except for Flora but that is only because they just introduced Helia). That was so not in s2. I would have remembered that fuckery. And then Avalon goes all “perhaps you’re better off without him”. This is predatory behavior! He is distancing her from the people that care about her. I loathe all of this! Bloom, please, I have a little more faith in you than I did in s2. Snap out of this! I know he will be the one turning her dark but that can still happen if her dealings with him are only because of her parents. Can we end the nauseating undertones of this?

- “You may leave a message after the tone. But not if it’s you, Sky”. *bursts into laughter* I’m sorry. This is just too sassy, I can’t. It’s good. Even if Sky is actually the lesser evil.

- At least Flora isn’t having Layla snooping around in Helia’s room this time. She just decided to go for it. That’s better.

- Well, we’re finally back with the Darkar plot. But wait... The nostalgia spell is actually... how he gets to Pixie Village this time? Winx didn’t stop it? I know they’re saving time but damn! His plans have a very high success rate in this case (since everything has worked so far) which will just make it more ridiculous when they defeat him.

- Why are the Pixie elders actually in Pixie Village? The Codex is just one part? They’re gonna skip the whole “going to every school and Pixie Village to steal all four parts of it” thing? Well, that’s stupid. There was no suspense whatsoever here. We don’t even know what the Codex does! And Darcy and Stormy have also gone MIA like everyone from Winx except Bloom (and Flora). This is really just gliding downhill with the speed of light.

- Bloom, you stupid bitch! Now she’s kidnapped. And they just butchered the whole storyline of s2. Also, guess it was the real Avalon that was evil. Great! Then Faragonda fucked up even more by letting him in Alfea. Still think you can protect them? And now she’s sending the students to rescue Bloom alone... again. I know she’ll get there eventually but, goddammit, this is illogical, not to mention irresponsible.

- Why the fuck are there four pixies of the Codex if there’s only one part of it? You make no sense, writers!

- Yeah, Shadowhaunt is underground but you can totes get there with a ship. Makes perfect sense!

- Darkar was Avalon all along? EPIC LEVELS OF FAILURE ON FARAGONDA’S PART! She didn’t even for a second realize this? Isn’t he supposed to, idk, give off insane levels of dark energy? What the hell?!

- Well, of course, he has an army... that he won’t even control himself. I hate all of this! All of it!

- Helia has had exactly three seconds of characterization and about as many lines. The whole thing with him not wanting to fight was just erased. Not that it went anywhere even in s2 but still. It was a touching point for him and Flora who is also anti violence. And here there is zero ground for a romance between them. They just met, like, five seconds ago and never had the opportunity to get to know each other... at all. Which reminds me...

- Layla never became a part of the team. She was just with them in the previous mission to Shadowhaunt but none of the bonding was here. I know that they didn’t have much time at all for anything but they could have put one or two super short scenes in which some bonding happens between her and the rest of Winx. Because here she is pretty much a stranger to both them and the audience. We don’t even know what she’s like and what little we saw of her wasn’t exactly the way it should have been. Oh, look, they barely even gave her a transformation! Epic fail here as well.

- At least Bloom wasn’t strapped to that table like she was about to be sacrificed to the darkness... which was actually kinda what happened.

- Did they just got rid of the Trix? What was even the point of bringing them in? Darkar could have done absolutely everything on his own. All of this was absolutely useless! I. Hate. It!

- We never even saw Kerborg as a bat. He is just that monster now. *sigh*

- “Did you really think we would not come to help?” Well... The only reason I thought they would help was because I knew they would since I’ve already watched how this goes down in s2. But honestly, they’ve been leaving their students to deal with everything so if I didn’t know where this was going, the answer would have been “Damn right, I thought you wouldn’t”.

- “That was a workout”, he says after crushing a monster out of existence by being magically enhanced. What is wrong with the writers? Although, I guess this is better than him boasting he handled the monster on his own like in s2.

- Watching the portal open with just one part of the Codex is so wrong. And anti climatic.

- Of course, the pixies of the Codex can just open the door to Relix. Of fucking course they can. Makes perfect sense. Honestly, I am mad about this but the original with the color “riddle” wasn’t much better anyway. At least they didn’t waste time on it here so I guess this is better on that account. I mean, if it’s not gonna make sense anyway, might as well just take the shorter one, right?

- Did they fire against Bloom or was it just a coincidence that their powers disrupted her concentration.

- “You saved my life once”? Are they gonna pass what happened at Magix as saving his life? Because I am pretty sure in s2 he meant what happened in 2x10. And this is also stupid. It shouldn’t work after that drama they had. Everything was all over the place and they never got the chance to fix it. Not to mention that no part of the other bonding they had happened here. They only showed one moment they had together in that flashback, because that was all they got. They never really connected so this shouldn’t work!

- Oh, Darkar started absorbing the Ultimate Power already? Not that it matters. That last attack is more intense at least. But I am still pretty pissed about a lot of things. Including the fact that they never explained about the Shadow Fire and that it is the opposite of the Dragon Fire.

- They defeated the Shadow Phoenix but they can’t even get a decent photo.

I was wildly disappointed in this. I thought it would be bad considering they are shoving the whole season in one special but I could have never expected that it would be... this! Most of the suspense is drained from it thanks to the butchered storyline. If you put that aside and consider it its own thing, the plot got resolved but the pacing was horrible and there was no build-up to anything. Not to mention that there were things that felt like they were a second thought and were out of place (aka the Trix and the whole Flora and Helia subplot that went fucking nowhere.) It was pretty bad as a reimagined version of s2 and pretty meh as a standalone thing.

#winx club #winx bloom #winx darkar #winx avalon #winx faragonda #anti sky #anti bloom x sky #winx layla #winx specials #the shadow phoenix #thoughts #review

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obsessivedilettante · 5 years ago

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20 in 10: A Drama Retrospective

Since I’ve been all quiet on the drama front this year because of life reasons, I thought it would be fun to go back and pick out 20 of the most memorable dramas of the last decade. Maybe not necessarily the best dramas or even my favorites (although some are!), but two dramas each year that were somehow notable moments in my drama-watching timeline.

2009: Gateway Drugs

Boys over Flowers (KBS)

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a good drama. It is not one I think I can ever really rewatch (although I will happily revisit the 2005 Japanese version, and I had a hellava fun time watching the latest Chinese version). But! It was the first kdrama I remember watching, and the first step on the slippery slope of eventually becoming a Drama Addict. I mostly remember it being crazy popular on places like mysoju (RIP), and so I checked it out due to curiosity, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or, should I say, almost paaaaradise!

You’re Beautiful (SBS)

This one I also watched because it became crazy-popular online, and curiosity got the better of me. I really didn’t know much about k-pop prior to dramas, so I had no idea until after this drama that k-pop was more about pretty people in crazy fashion, dancing in syncopation in bizarrely lit rooms, rather than playing instruments. Because it was thanks to this drama that I got my crash-course on k-pop as a phenomenon -- both the fandom side, and the crazy things that artists have to go through to claw their way into the public’s view (nevar 4get the glorious ramen dance). Since Angel was a group that played instruments, and Hongki and Yonghwa were also from groups that played instruments, I assumed that all kpop were groups that played instruments. Oh, sweet summer child...

But it did get me started on my k-pop journey, first falling in love with FT Island and CNBLUE, before falling into the rabbit hole of the other prominent groups of the day. (SNSD! The Wonder Girls! Super Junior! DBSK! SS501! Kara! 2PM! 2AM! Shinee! BEG! Epik High! U-KISS! All the debut groups, like 2NE1, MBLAQ, B2ST, 4Minute, f(x), T-ara, After School... basically 2009 was a magical year in k-pop.)

If I had just watched Boys Over Flowers, I don’t know that I would have become a Drama Addict. But You’re Beautiful pushed me closer to the edge, with the zany humor of the Hong Sisters (and the desire for a pig-bunny of my own!). It would really be Coffee Prince that would push me over the edge, but that aired in 2007 so it doesn’t count for this list. But I had to mention it anyway, because, well, it’s Coffee Prince and where my love for Handsome Oppa began.

2010: More Than Candy

The Woman Who Wants To Marry (MBC)

A lot of the dramas I watched at first had that typical “Candy” character, the poor-but-scrappy girl who would somehow be saved by the guy and become the Cinderella she never knew she wanted to be. So it was a delight when I encountered women who were not only older than high-school-age or early twenties, but in their thirties, with rich full lives! Plus, this was one of my earliest introductions to the concept of the “noona romance” (a concept that I’ve since heartily embraced, of course). I started it primarily because Kim Bum was my favorite of the Flower Boys, but I stuck with it because I fell in love with the women (and I still have a girl-crush on Bu-ki).

Harvest Villa (tvn)

This show is insane. But in the good way, the way that the writer intended, and not in the “are a bunch of monkeys typing this script?” train-wreck way. There was basically no buzz about this show, and I feel like I somehow accidentally stumbled over it, but it was love at first sight. I’ve never forgotten the late hours binging it, being so sucked into the story that I absolutely had to finish it as soon as I could, disappointed that there wasn’t more of it to enjoy when I finally finished, bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived, but satisfied.

I then later gobbled down this writer’s next drama, and her next drama, and the next, until everyone else finally realized thanks to Signal that Kim Eun-hee was as amazing a writer as I kept insisting to anyone who would listen (aka no one).

2011: To Binge or Not To Binge?

White Christmas (KBS)

I did not watch White Christmas in 2011. I actually watched it in 2013. I was always a steadfast binger, preferring to wait until the buzz about a show would sway me into spending my precious free-time watching something that would be worth my while (not that my drama choices were always good, but at least I tried to avoid the duds). I still prefer to binge, since waiting weeks for new episodes is vaguely frustrating when I want to know what happens next, right now! Plus, I’m very good at forgetting that I’m watching a show in the week-long wait for new episodes, and then just... never picking it back up again.

Despite watching White Christmas a couple years after it aired, it remains one of my favorites, and one I love to rewatch, even though I’ve already experienced whodunnit cliff-hangers and psychological rollercoasters. It became a tradition of sorts here on tumblr for a bunch of us to rewatch it over the holiday season -- alas, I haven’t joined in that tradition for the past couple of years, but I hope that somewhere in this blue hell hole that there are a loyal few keeping the tradition alive.

At least we have this drama to thank for bringing us all the model-actors that were new and clueless in White Christmas, but would later go on to be leading men in their own right. Of course, some of them haven’t exactly made the best drama choices (*cough*SungJoon*cough*), but then there are others (*cough*SooHyuk*cough*) that I’m impatiently waiting for to pick up a new drama so I can see those post-army abs.

Tree With Deep Roots (SBS)

This is the first drama that I recall live-watching. I vaguely remember regretting it at the time, since it was agony waiting for new episodes, but it was also fun to have a week to speculate and ponder the show. And what a beautiful show to ponder! This was also one of the few sageuks I actually watched, being generally intimidated by anything longer than 16-20 episodes, and my historical knowledge was a little shaky (before embracing my inner nerd and diving into mundane historical stuff just so I could better understand whatever drama I was watching at the time).

I don’t think I intended to continue live-watching shows, preferring the ease of binging at my own pace and schedule. But that was when I was still a casual, innocent addict, and not someone who would eventually make dramas a huge part of her life.

2012: The Joy of Overthinking

Gaksital (KBS)

Having had a taste of live-watching, I started to live-watch enough dramas to the point where I began to make notes about the premiere weeks. It was only a couple at a time, and binging was still my preferred way to watch, but now I was delighting in being part of the fandom, sharing in speculation each week, posting my thoughts on dramas and analyzing them to my heart’s content -- even though I knew no one except me would read my ridiculous essays.

But I started to feel more comfortable sharing my opinion with the world, interacting with fandom and not merely content to be a consumer, but gradually becoming a producer as well.

Reply 1997 (tvN)

This is it. This is when I went full-on Drama Addict. This is the tipping point from casual fan who quietly kept to herself, to becoming someone who stood on the mountain top yelling about ALL THE DRAMAS ALL THE TIME. I began to interact with other fans! To swap theories and share squee-worthy moments! I even watched episodes RAW just because of how desperate I was to know what happened, and even though the Busan accent stumped me more than once, it made me realize that my casual study of Korean was something to take seriously since I understood more than I gave myself credit for.

It was also the first time any post I made got more than a handful of notes, since I’d mostly hovered in the “less than 10 notes per post” category at the time. I was so proud of myself back then!

(This drama also notably marks the start of my Hoya obsession, which continues to this day.)

2013: Tumblr Friends (and Foes)

Flower Boy Next Door (tvN)

Having made myself comfortable on tumblr as a Drama Addict, I then discovered some other dedicated fans -- many of which I still follow to this day and who are now just a permanent part of my dash, no matter what their current interests may be -- in the FBND squad.

But I also discovered Kim Seul-gi as the Webtoon Editor (who I still love and adore and continue to use as my avatar), and her adorable romance with Dong-hoon remains one of my forever OTPs. As much as I enjoyed the drama romances, I’d never fallen so deeply for one to be so obsessed by it as I was Webtoon Editor and Dong-hoon. And tbh I still am. They’re just so adorable and pragmatic and she buys him a bag. Ugh. I love her so much, you guys.

Heirs (SBS)

Ah, yes. This hot mess.

I don’t know what possessed me to live-blog each episode. But I did. With snarky commentary and terrible screencaps. And suddenly I went from maybe 200 followers to over a 1000. That was a total shock! I met a lot of people because of that (and made some friends, as well as a few enemies who didn’t appreciate my opinion of certain characters), and ensconced myself as part of the drama-blogging crew.

It was from this that someone suggested I apply to be a minion at Dramabeans. Back then, I had a lot more free time than I do now, and I was watching a lot of dramas that Dramabeans didn’t cover, and wished they did so I could read more opinions about those shows. So I thought, “Eh, why not? It can’t hurt to submit something because the worst that would happen is I’d waste their time making them read my take on episode 10 of Let’s Eat.”

I fully expected them to turn me down. No one was more surprised than I was when I found myself agreeing to dive into the world of recapping.

2014: It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times

Trot Lovers (KBS)

Recapping. It seems so easy when you’re reading the recaps. But actually creating them is a bitch. Hours out of my life were spent on this disaster of a trope-laden show with no plot. This was the third show I worked on for Dramabeans, and I hated it to the point where I seriously considered handing in my notice. (Immediately following up this show with the mediocre My Secret Hotel certainly didn’t help matters!)

However, it turns out that what I actually hated was being forced to watch a terrible rom-com and pretend to come up with insightful-or-at-least-neutral thoughts about it (since we were still new and couldn’t go full-on snark yet).

Misaeng (tvN)

This is what saved me. Being given the chance to immerse myself in such a unique, ponderous, thoughtful show restored my faith in dramas and the drama community. I loved spending hours on this show, soaking up all the little details, and then sharing that love with the world.

Misaeng made dramas magical again.

2015: Fight Me

Valid Love (tvN)

Realizing that I only seemed to enjoy rom-coms at arm-length, I discovered that my tastes often ran counter to the general drama-viewing public. Not all the drama-viewing public -- I’m not a “not like other fans” kind of fan -- but enough that I began to realize the whether a drama was popular or had good buzz was not necessarily the primary reason to watch it.

I began to have more faith in my own taste, based on past experiences with various writers and directors. Even if the premise (or first couple of episodes) seemed kind of weird and out-there, I at least wanted to give these artists the benefit of the doubt that I would enjoy their work, like I had previously.

So many people seemed to hate Valid Love, but I adored it. Still do (and still desperately wish Kim Do-woo would come out with a new drama -- it has been too long, writer-nim!). There were a lot of opinions about this show, even among people who seemed to enjoy it, but I vividly recall having to repeatedly insist that it wasn’t about the romance and argue that the knee-jerk infidelity-is-BAD opinions should make space for something more nuanced.

Ho-gu’s Love (tvN)

DramaFever was a pretty great site. It brought together so many drama fans and gave them a place where they could legally (and without fear of downloading random viruses) watch dramas to their heart’s content. Yes, there may have been some lingering resentment that they were the primary reason that so many amazing other sites were shut down (RIP mysoju and daebaeksubs), but dramas were more accessible than ever!

Eventually, DramaFever started to sub shows themselves and upload them weekly (instead of just using fansubs and uploading older dramas), and while they weren’t the best translations, they were at least better than machine translations from the Chinese subs. As I became more and more familiar with Korean, I found myself more likely to migrate to Viki since I liked the extra detailed translations. I could get the gist of a show without any help -- I wanted to instead delve into the nitty-gritty of the language.

But I never really hated DramaFever or felt they were particularly awful. Until they mistranslated something so terribly that it changed the entire meaning of a scene and ruined people’s perception of a drama, forcing me to continually defend the true translation.

That was the molehill I died on that day, and never again did I touch DramaFever. I feel bad that it eventually got unceremoniously shuttered. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive them for the “condom” incident.

2016: Free Solo

Dear My Friends (tvN)

For two years I’d been happily working on one episode a week, sharing a show with someone else, until I was asked if I’d like to tackle a show by myself. I wasn’t sure how I could handle it, but I had the time in my schedule so I said, “Sure, why not?”

I was originally going to recap Another Oh Hae-young, but there was a last-minute switcheroo, and I’m so incredibly glad because this is perhaps my favorite recapping experience of all time, even more so than Misaeng. There was something so special about the luxury of having an entire show to myself, especially one with such a fantastic cast of characters and thoughtful themes. I didn’t have to try and figure out if I agreed with another person’s take -- it could all be my opinion.

Is that arrogant? Perhaps. But it was also therapeutic, as it reminded me once again how incredible and amazing dramas could be, and the privilege I had to share such an exquisite and thought-provoking drama with the rest of the world.

The Good Wife (tvN)

Surprisingly, this was what I had really wanted to recap that year, and the true reason I got Dear My Friends, since it aired just prior in the same time-slot as The Good Wife. I was desperate to have this show, willing to do anything to get it because I needed to see Jeon Do-yeon back on the small screen, to see Yoo Ji-tae smolder, to know how Korea would adapt such an ambitious show.

And I wasn’t disappointed! This is, perhaps, my favorite adaption of another work of art that I’ve seen in dramaland. It remained true to Korean sensibilities, but it also properly felt like The Good Wife. The cast was phenomenal. The costumes were exquisite. I wished I could spend more time in that world.

But I was also thankful, because without The Good Wife, I would have never have had Dear My Friends.

2017: Serial-Killers Are Cool

Voice (OCN)

I can’t remember how I got assigned to this. Maybe it was a scheduling thing. I do know that I really, really wanted it, since it would be Handsome Oppa’s first drama appearance in three years.

But it started me down a road of recapping a lot of serious and serial-killer-centric shows. Except for the times when I’d beg for a break and tackle something lighter, I was generally assigned the darker mystery shows with meaty plots, since apparently I had a knack for condensing complicated shows into something that made sense. (Also literally darker, and I eventually learned to automatically brighten every screencap I posted. You’re welcome.)

Not only did I love working on something with Handsome Oppa, I also had fun recapping the start of what would eventually become OCN’s stock-in-trade -- creepy serial killers. At the time, Voice shattered OCN’s viewer ratings (which would then be shattered again and again as more people would tune in to OCN shows). But Voice really helped put OCN on the viewership map -- as well as catapult Handsome Oppa into the public eye and lead him to a path of getting to choose whatever script he wanted to work on.

(Okay, maybe I made that last bit up, but he did begin to garner a larger following and remind everyone that just because he was gone from dramaland for so long, he hadn’t lost his acting chops -- or charisma -- or cheekbones.)

Black (OCN)

Oh, this show. It was basically my whole life while it was airing (well, the non-day-job part of my life). Each episode was over an hour long and jam-packed full of details that were pertinent to the story, and I had to somehow condense that all into 3000 words or less (I was not always, ah, successful...). It felt like I was back in recapping bootcamp, but the dial had been turned up to 11.

I’m weirdly proud of what I produced (although you’ll never get me to reread my old work). It was one of the most challenging shows to work on, but in the good way, not the Trot Lovers way.

Until the ending, that is. Sigh. That ending will live in infamy. I still, to this day, will get a few comments on the finale from people who watched it on Netflix, went searching online for an explanation of the end, and then discovered that they were not alone in being confused by the utter wtf-ery of the last twenty minutes.

2018: Fighting For My Love

Misty (JTBC)

So, Dramabeans kind of disappeared for a few months. Well, the site was still live. There were a handful of recaps. But... it basically just... stopped.

Those of us on the other side know about as you do as to why that happened. Minions are kept in the dark just as much as anybody, it seems. All we knew is that we weren’t being assigned anything and we seriously wondered if the site was going under, since adsense has become worthless these days.

But Mary and I kept talking about how much we adored Misty and were sad that we couldn’t talk about it with the world (and convince them to watch it with us), so we pleaded and begged and got the go-ahead to do a kind of chatty “open thread” which has apparently been a spring-board format for other shows. We didn’t get paid for this, and we were totally fine with that. We just wanted to provide some kind of content (while swooning over Kim Nam-joo’s pantsuits!).

Let’s Eat 3 (tvN)

This was my first real assignment after the dead period, and I once again got to do full recaps (with pay!). I started watching, thinking I’d merely tolerate the show (since I loved the first season vastly more than the second season), but it turned out to be my favorite of the three. Plus it felt fortuitous that the series I had submitted my application would be a series I’d work on four years later.

Sometimes it’s nice to spend time with a character you met years ago, to see them grow, to see how they became what they became. Drama trends (and love interests) will come and go, but Goo Dae-young’s love of food (and love of explaining the proper way to eat food) will never change. It was a really comforting drama for me to spend my summer on, and I’ll remember it fondly, even if I’m forever sad that it had to suddenly wrap-up two episodes early.

2019: Ten Years Later

Item (MBC)

This was the Trot Lovers of 2019. It was a nonsensical disaster.

I also had the added chaos of my real-life job -- one very different from the one I had when I was working on Trot Lovers -- as it began to increase exponentially in responsibilities and in stress. I reached a breaking point where I began to hate opening my computer where I’d have to spend hours attempting to explain a show that I wanted nothing to do with. I was miserable and depressed and couldn’t do it anymore. I never before asked to be taken off a show because I hated it so much, but there’s a first for everything.

Her Private Life (tvN)

I actually haven’t finished this show -- I’ve yet to watch the last two episodes. But I’m including it because, well, I didn’t finish any other show in 2019 except for Item.

As some of you may know, this has been a difficult year. It started with the unexpected stress of my job, when we suddenly lost one of our directors who passed away, and another director was let go (in a complicated situation that is ongoing, but the important thing is that it was during our busiest time when we really couldn’t afford to lose anyone), and another director left for a different job and I was basically the one to pick up all the pieces she left behind. It was exhausting and we were all past the breaking point but somehow miraculously holding it together.

I was looking forward to finally getting a much-needed vacation in September, and then, well, you all know how that went: the first night, on our layover in New Zealand before what was supposed to be three weeks in Australia, my father was taken to the hospital, and then, two days later, he passed away. Life has gotten even more chaotic and stressful and bizarre since then.

So no, I haven’t finished this drama, but it was one of the most wonderful moments of the year for me, watching this fizzy rom-com with my favorite actor, where he got to be charming and handsome and charismatic and finally kiss the girl he loves and have her love him back (and not die or be dumped, as he had been in so many dramas that had gone before). Lion Oppa was everything my heart could desire, and living in his world helped me endure the insanity that I wish I’d known would seem so much more tolerable than what would eventually befall.

Her Private Life reminded me of when I first fell in love with dramas ten years ago, when I would giggle and be delighted by the charming nonsense on screen -- of beautiful people falling in love and fighting against the obstacles between them (some more ridiculous than others, perhaps, but there are always obstacles), and ending up happily ever after. Pure escapism, of the frothiest kind.

A Drama-filled Decade

So, after ten years of dramas, what is the takeaway? What have I learned?

I suppose I’ve learned to trust my instincts and put more faith in writers and directors than actors. That analyzing dramas is fun, and it’s even more fun sharing it with others, and sometimes even more fun if you get paid to do it -- but everyone eventually reaches a breaking point. That I’m too earnest and optimistic to embrace a life of snark. That I want every drama to be good but most of them aren’t, except sometimes they are. That I’m not even sure which genres are my favorite; I just know what I don’t like.

That dramas are best as escapism, and not as work.

I don’t know how many dramas I’ll watch in 2020. I haven’t paid any attention to what’s airing, and I’m okay with that. Perhaps I’m entering a new phase in my life, or perhaps I just don’t have the capacity to escape right now.

But I am pleased to have had dramas in my life, and to have eventually made them my hobby. I’ve met a lot of amazing people and made some genuine friends through a shared love of dramas (or, at times, a shared hatred). I’m honored that all of you are still here and following me, even during this period of fandom silence.

May 2020 treat us all better, and may Kim Do-woo finally write another script.

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dottie-wan-kenobi · 5 years ago

Note

They're sort of a fandom but Batfam!

thanks guys!!! this got so long omg, I’m so sorry dsjkfhdskajh

my favorite female character: CASSANDRA MFING CAIN. She is simultaneously one of the most badass characters I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing about, while also being just……….so adorable. Like, I love that she can be the scariest and most competent Bat (she is absolutely 100000% the next Batman I do not take criticism) but also, she’s such a sweetheart. She really loves people (Steph and Duke especially so), she’s an amazing friend and sister, and she is just so authentically herself and does what she wants when she wants, and she works so hard for everything, and I just. Oh my god I love her so much.

my favorite male character: this is so difficult but I have to say Dick Grayson. I Must. He’s basically what started all of this!!! I mean yeah okay Bruce was first, but Robin/Dick is what made Batman interesting and was the first member of the batfam, the one that made it a real family. In addition to that, Dick is just??? So interesting?????? He was the first kid sidekick, he lead the Teen Titans teams, he’s always kind of existed in this place of being the lighthearted one with the Batfam, but the serious one in most other contexts. HE REBELLED FIRST. Nightwing is a fuck you to his dad!!!! I love that! Plus he’s beautiful and has some of the best love interests (I’m talking about Kory and Roy here folks). He’s imperfect and has such depth and I love him kdsjfhjkdshfah

my favorite book/season/etc: I actually really like all the stuff that comes after Bruce “dies”? Seeing them all struggle and fight with each other and everything is really interesting. I love Tim here especially, just bc he’s so fucked up and such a teenager. When characters seem to be having two totally different conversations are SO INTERESTING and that’s what was kind of happening here with Tim and Dick – Tim feels betrayed and hurt, Dick feels stressed and like Tim is ready to move on. And Damian is just an adorable little asshole ksdjfshkjhakjh

my favorite episode (if its a tv show) issue: look I’m a sucker for Dick & Jason feels and I really enjoyed their moments (however few there are) in NTT/Tales of The Teen Titans/etc. They’re pretty small but so cute – it’s really nice to see them trying to figure out how to be brothers!!

my favorite cast member: David Mazouz!!!! Perfect perfect perfect Bruce. I also did like Batfleck, more for the look of exhausted 40 year old man than the story/characterization, but David takes the cake. He does all the different facets of Bruce – traumatized child, obsessive teenager, Brucie the party animal, etc – so well, PLUS THEY HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY. It’s meant to be yall

my favorite ship: most of my Batfam ships are one batfam member/one non member (like Dickkory/Dickroy, Dinahbabs, Timkon, etc). the only one fully in the fam would be Bruce/Talia. When written correctly, they are so sweet and so tragic. The star crossed lovers trope has never looked so good as it does when its them.

a character I’d die defending: Damian!!!! Admittedly I do get annoyed by him,,,, a lot,,,,,, but really. He’s a child who’s been abused and manipulated and lied to. He was raised in such a dangerous, traumatic environment, and I fucking hate when people act like he’s always going to be the annoying, murderous brat he was when he was first taken away from that environment. He has to heal, and he IS healing. He loves animals so much, he learns to love Dick (and at least get along with the others), he makes friends, he doesn’t kill anymore. He is doing better. There’s no fucking way he ends up as cruel and cold-hearted as some people insist he will. If you don’t like him, just shut the fuck up

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Babs. It’s not that I can’t sympathize with her, it’s more that I just don’t like her lol. I find Batgirl!Babs really boring and regressive for literally everyone involved. The way Babs became Oracle was gross but it gave her such GROWTH and she got to be her own character as Oracle (and also tell people off for pitying her bc she’s in a wheelchair). Batgirl was passed on to Cass, who is both Asian and disabled rep, then to Steph, in a way that was much healthier for the Batgirls than how Robin was passed down. Babs being Oracle gives even more rep to disabled children/girls in wheelchairs, and she isn’t stuck in Gotham! She isn’t part of the Batfam, she’s a Bird of Prey!!!! So much more interesting!!!! Plus D*ckB*bs is boring as fuck and does a disservice to both of them. Let them grow and be their own people and stop making me see Batgirl!Babs alongside Robin!Damian. DC, that’s illegal!!!

a character I grew to love: Talia. I was sadly infected with the Grant Morrison bullshit when I first joined the fandom and I hated Talia. But I’ve read more comics and metas about her and I just. I LOVE HER. She is such a badass and I find her motives (when well written) to be really interesting!!! She’s loyal to her dad but wants the best for Damian, and does have genuine affection for Bruce and Jason. She’s not the heartless woman some people/writers make her out to be, she has compassion and drive. She doesn’t care what people think about her. I want to marry her sdkjhfjksah

my anti otp: Jason/Roy. In any context other than RHaTO, it makes no sense and does a disservice to both characters. Jason and Roy would not want to be together in most reboots of DC, because of the connection with Dick. Would you want to date your asshole older brother’s ex/best friend? Would you want to date your ex/best friend’s little brother? Would you like to date a man with that history who is also struggling with severe trauma/addiction issues (respectively) and doesn’t get help for it because of bad writing? Imagine Roy looking Dick in the face and saying “yeah, I’m fucking your little brother, who I sort of knew as a pre-teen”. In RHaTO, this is mostly fine bc Roy and Dick have no relationship at all, and Jason needs someone to take care of, and Roy is so incompetent that he fits that bill. But ANYWAYYYYY point is, I refuse to read fics with this ship in it thank you goodnight

send me a show/movie/fandom and I’ll answer these questions!!

#i am SO SORRY i cant believe how much i rambled #long post #ask games #batfam #i barely talked about duke and bruce. didn't mention alfred. didn't mention kate. ksdjhfkjsadh #there are too many damn ppl in this family #Anonymous #anti jayroy #anti babs gordon #whoops forgot to tag that #sorry :(

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valkerymillenia · 4 years ago

Text

Umbrella Academy

season 2, episode 3

Next!

Again, live blogging and posting my reactions all in one post to avoid spamming.

This post got accidentally deleted yesterday so I had to write or all again (twice!)

Oh, starting with a Klaus and Ben 1960 flashback! Ah, Klaus... You have no shame. Let my baby eat though!

Lol "Chanel". Boy knows his fashion, of course.

And there's Boney M playing!

You can practically read his mind when he sees that diamond. Sugar momma alert! 😆

Damn, loving the black outfit, very sexy.

LEVITATING KLAUS WAS BEN LIFTING HIM UP! Seems that one crack theory on the fandom was right 🤣

Ben's face though 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

These two are the best combo. I love them.

61, Baja, NM. Traveling hippie commune.

Is Klaus still sober? He refuses a joint here so I'm inclined to believe that he is but he isn't acting very sober... Then again that might be an act, just him embracing the hippy life.

CALLED IT!!! BEN FALLS IN LOVE, DOESN'T HE?! I FUCKING CALLED IT IN EP 1!

62, Varanasi, India. The river scene from the promos. Yeah, I called this one too. Klaus is already looking seriously uncomfortable and realizing this is getting out of hand.

63, San Francisco. Poor Klaus is practically suffocating under all the touching and nobody respects his space or his words.

Destiny's Children! 🤣 You are such a 90s kid, Klaus.

Run away, Klaus! Run! Escape the crazies.

Ok, let me paused to write out a thought...

So a lot of people were worried about the cult thing and Klaus's intentions but it's clear he had no malicious intentions at all. He charmed and impressed some people for survival purposes and thrived, he enjoyed the love and attention at first and the cult just grew around around him organically whether he liked it or not, more a hippy cult of personality then a religious sect, but at some point he saw that it had gone too far, the pressure and expectation became too much and he realized he'd bitten more than he can chew.

It's actually rather sad how he just wants to escape but the cultists objectify him to all hell, he has no privacy or personal space. The problem with Klaus is that he doesn't do anything mildly, he always goes too big until he's drowning. Boy is already self-sabotaging and I'm sure he's going to start self-destructing very soon as well.

End of thought. Clicking play again.

Ouch! Poor Diego 😰 Lila, that is not how you cauterize a stab wound...

"what happened?" -your dear daddy stabbed you, dude.

Did she really need to strip him so thoroughly? 😏 Yes, yes, she did.

Well, at least she's not sewing you up, Diego. No needles, yay.

"oh, he isn't dead." "Disappointed?" "To see you? Always 😊" -did I mention I love Five's sass? I did? Well, I do.

Old family friend 😆

"you don't untie him?" "Was I supposed to?" Oh Lila, you're adorable, poor Elliot.

Vanya, that is suspicious as hell, just mow down that weirdo!

Ok, good instincts but too slow.

Run, girl, run!

Got to admit, these Swedes are good battle strategy, they are surrounding her surprisingly well.

Is this were the badass Vanya promo was from? Show me badass Vanya, please.

BADASS VANYA! 💖

Ooooooh, very smart, Five!!!

One of the machines though? What are the others for? I'm curious.

Plano Street Rooming House for Solitary Men? That's real depressing, Luther.

It's the "the end is nigh" guy the same that was screaming with Luther in ep 1?

King Kong! Not sure if cute or rude af...

Ahahahah! Luther literally STUMBLING on "Allison" and then acting like an awkward Steve Rogers when the kids call him out 😆 Boy, when will you realize that your obsession is creepy?

Honestly, ALL the Hargreeves siblings can be divided into two categories- sweet awkward dork or sass king/queen, there is no in-between (but Diego and Klaus get to be both).

Convenient that Vanya would just sit there and wait to be found by Five but ok.

"I have a brother?" -honey, you have five (pun fully intended)

IKEA MAFIA! 😂

Nice crop circle, Vanya.

Five just rolls with the amnesia, huh? Doesn't even question it. Ok, then.

Why is Ruby, notorious mobster, sewing sequins? It's it for the dog? I bet, it's for the dog.

"Hargreeves. She your ex?" *Cue Luther's super awkward fumbling* "S-Sorta...Y-Yeah. Sure." - big boy, this is the point where you realize how creepy your crush on your own sister is, time to reevaluate.

KLAUS AND ALLISON REUNION! THEY ARE SO CUTE! 😭💜

Honestly, I need more Klaus and Allison interactions. They have so much bff potential.

*le gasp* "oh, you're married?" 😲 -yes, Klaus, you met him.

"dicks, drugs, debutants. My holy trinity" -ok so everything Klaus says should be taken with a grain of salt but does Klaus still do drugs or not? Considering the evolution of his powers with Ben I'd say no, but we aren't seeing other ghosts harassing him so... Hmm, I need confirmation.

"alternative spiritual community" my ass

Ah, Allison falls into the sass queen category.

Allison can have a little PTSD, as a treat. 😢

Those shoes! Hi, Handler.

Those shoes really are her signature by now. Those heels could kill a man.

Handler as a brunette...? She looks good but I like her bleach blonde.

What did she say to make that boy pee himself?? Damn, Handler, no wonder your kid is a mess.

These dudes need to start listening to my girl Allison, instead of following her husband like puppies.

Great speech, girl! ✊

What is up with that sandwich???

Oh wait, it's Ben right? Klaus is using his powers to get Ray out of jail, isn't he?

Yup, of course he is.

Ben being all sassy and cocky about it gives me life.

"high places" - 😆

Poor Ray, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into.

"family barbecues are about to get reeeeeeeal weird" - I'd actually like to see that.

"leave the pot, dear" - you're such an old man, Five.

"any questions?" Five, if be worried if she DIDN'T have questions after all that.

"asteroid impact" -aww 💜 you really do care for her feelings, Five... But you have to tell her the truth sooner or later.

Harlan likes classical music, huh? Good thing he knows a good violinist.

Harlan and Sissy... 😭 My poor heart.

Ouch! What is wrong with you, Lila? You're right but what is wrong with you?

"I can't believe I got shanked by my own father" - can't you, Diego? Really? After everything else that man did to you and your siblings?

"man to man, that son of bitch wouldn't stand a chance" - yeah, he would, he taught you all you know, boy

Not sure if Lila's story is true or not but... I still have that one theory that she was born on October, 1989...

"I don't understand you!!!" - ahah, poor Diego 🤣

Really? Right in front of Elliot's tuna mold?

Man, Handler is really obsessed with Five...

Oh, Luther, you giant puppy...

This is so AWKWARD!

Bonbons, Luther? Really?

Ok, this small talk is even MORE AWKWARD! It physically hurts to listen to this.

The pain in his face and voice when Luther goes "S-so great" 😭

boy, this is the moment you realize it's time to move on, you're not isolated teenagers in a dysfunctional home anymore, let her be your sister and find love elsewhere.

The sit in!

"seven languages" sassy, sassy, I love her.

YOUNG DAVE!

Oh no... Klaus, no, baby... Oh, this is painful.

Ben, don't be mean, let your brothe have this.

What kind of gay man doesn't know what eggshell is? 😆

"is this considered stalking? 'cause I think you're stalking now" - well, BEN, following your brother 24/7 for 15 years can also be considered stalking

Oh no, Vietnam flashbacks... Poor Klaus 😭😭😭

"Vietnam fling"? Ben, you know it wasn't just a fling! Stop being mean.

Aw, Klaus just wants to save Dave... He's willing to sacrifice their relationship to save Dave's life... 😭😭😭

I know Ben is just worried but he could be less mean...

Damn, this sit in thing is really upsetting...

Why is Ray being weird? Is he suspicious of Luther and Alison's relationship? Or is he just unhappy that Allison kept secrets about her family?

Oh Luther, no... Self-harm by proxy is not going to make you feel better.

Oh, motherfucker! That coffee thing was such an asshole move!

Shit, this scene is so well written, the way something so small is making the whole protest escalate to all hell... The police brutality, the parallels with recent events... Disturbing and brilliant and deeply relevant!

Yes! Rumor that motherfucker, Allison!

Oh no, don't be scared of your wife, Ray! Don't be suspicious!

Poor Allison... 😢

Oh Luther, you dumbass... 😢

Lila going to meet mommy, huh?

Oh, she's still wearing Diego's bracelet. Cute.

I know this scene between Handler and Lila was supposed to be a shocking plot twist but after David Castañeda's interview slip up, I already knew.

Still, an excellent scene and very cool surprise.

Like I said before, I really like Lila, I don't trust her AT ALL but I like her.

...

THIS WAS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL EPISODE... Again.

My god, this show gives me life.

#tua #tua s2 #tua s2 spoilers #live blogging #reactions #my phone keeps correcting vanya to baby #and honestly it's not wrong

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gemraldkid · 4 years ago

Text

Analysis and speculation on Bête Noire

Spoilers for Undertale and Glitchtale. Undertale by Toby Fox and Glitchtale by @camilaart

You thought I was joking? Nope. Here it is: a mix of canon, headcanon, and speculation.

Of all the characters that people are obsessing over right now (Ronan, Jessica, Gaster, Rave, the prequel wizards), I choose to put all of my energy into making some sense of the one character that continuously reminds us that we should hate them. I could be thinking about the struggles of anyone else. I could be worried for Chara or Asriel or Asgore (he’s not dead until he starts turning to dust), but nooooo. This is what occupies my thoughts about this series.

This is basically most of my headcanon relating to Betty. I wanted to put these thoughts out there before the new episode since... well, anything could happen.

Betty’s probably gonna mostly die from hate and stuff.

Imagine if we were actually supposed to end up feeling bad for this character? Right...

You shouldn’t take everything I say here as facts.’m pretty sure I made it clear enough which parts are speculation with the amazing power of verb tenses.

I’m open to corrections about currently available facts that I got wrong.

Glitchtale is a series that I’ve greatly enjoyed watching. I believe that it is one of the finest things to come out of the Undertale fandom. It is a testament to how good a fanfiction can be.

One thing that I find particularly praiseworthy is the way OCs are handled. They manage expand on the world without hogging the spotlight for too long. There’s a good balance between introducing new elements without ever forgetting about the old ones.

Of course, among many of the new characters, one in particular stands out: the current antagonist of Season 2, Bête Noire or “Betty”.

Betty is the character I have been the most fascinated with so far. She’s been a mystery to many ever since the punch to the gut that was the ending of “Dust”.

What follows is a look into the way that I perceive Bête Noire. I am not necessarily dead-set on a single possibility. While my views are backed up by certain facts, I acknowledge that they are also based on and influenced by my personal wishes for this character. Therefore, my words should be taken with a healthy amount of salt.

Betty was first introduced to us as an innocent 13 year-old girl, barely a year older than Frisk, physically. She was a shy, happy-go-lucky kid who became friends with Frisk after the latter saved her life from a fast-moving car.

Unfortunately, things were not as they seemed. The girl never was in any real danger as the car was an illusion created by powers. The scenario was merely a set-up to get her closer to Frisk and their family of monsters.

Illusions are likely a power granted to her by her trait: fear. With it, she is able to see the memories of others simply by looking them in the eyes. This grants her knowledge of their personality and, most importantly, their emotional weaknesses. Using that knowledge, she can create illusions to throw off her enemies. These illusions can serve a variety purposes even if they don’t directly involve fear. Examples include the aforementioned car and the illusion that caused Undyne to kill Alphys.

Bête Noire originally woke up when the barrier was broken, a month before the events of “My Sunshine”. This means that she spent a month doing “something” before starting her plan. She likely spent days and nights observing the humans and monsters. Through her observations and memory-reading abilities, she judged whether the monsters were truly as dangerous for human kind as she believed. This wasn’t all she observed, however. Betty also learned the ways and customs of this new time period. After all, the only memories in her possession belonged to someone who lived over 800 years ago...

Agate Lightvale was best known as the wizard of bravery who helped seal the monsters underground. She lived in a medieval time. While she was born into a common family , she didn’t live a common life. Her twin brother, Copper, was lucky enough to be born with a soul of determination, a trait so rare that only one person can possess it at a time. It elevated the Lightvale family to a noble status.

Growing up, Agate acted like a big sister to Copper even though they were the same age. However, this changed as they grew older and trained to become wizards. Copper became more independent while his sister started to develop a few insecurities.

Agate spent most of her time training in combat. She was always looking to improve, to get stronger, to surpass her limits. Unfortunately for her, being the twin of the soul of determination meant she was often overshadowed.

Her brother was essentially a “chosen one” of sorts. As a result, he got most of the attention. Agate would execute a spell flawlessly while Copper stumbled at the same task. Yet, he would be the only one to receive praise.

In addition to being the rarest trait, determination is also the strongest. Agate was confronted with the reality that, no matter how hard she trained, she could never surpass her brother.

Still, it didn’t stop Agate from being a kind and respected individual. True to her trait, she was know for her bravery in the face of danger and resistance to physical pain. In addition, she and Copper both stayed strong for their younger sister, Amber, who’s birth resulted in the death of their mother. Agate and her siblings were extremely close.

After the war between humans and monsters ended, she, her brother, and five other wizards created the barrier, trapping the monsters underground.

After a certain amount of time, Copper proposed the idea of releasing the monsters from captivity. He believed that humans and monsters could still live together. Agate opted against this. She believed it would be better for both races if they lived separately. The discussion got extremely agitated to the point where Agate spontaneously challenged Copper to a duel that would decide the future.

If I may break the flow of information a little, this part seems a tad off to me. I find it notable, at the very least. In the official depiction of this moment, Agate looks smug, as if she knows she is going to win. Isn’t that odd considering what we know? I believe there was more riding on this duel than the fate of two races.

Recall that Agate had a bit of an inferiority complex with her brother. Isn’t it possible that she also challenged him to prove she was stronger, to finally break out of his shadow by defeating him in front of the entire kingdom? If this is the case, I believe that the “confidence” she showed might not have been entirely sincere. Surely, a part of her knew that she couldn’t win. Yet, she still instigated a fight.

I think it’s possible that challenging Copper was not an act of hubris on Agate’s part; it was an act of desperation made in the heat of the moment.

Ultimately, she lost. Her brother was victorious. Agate was overwhelmed by her loss. While she had an abundance of physical bravery, she lacked it emotionally. Due to these factors, she lost her trait then and there. Completely humiliated, she fled to parts unknown. Still under the intensity of the battle, Copper didn’t think to go after her.

During this period of her life, Agate made many poor life choices. She searched for a way to break her limits more than ever before. She came across at least two forbidden spells. She used one of them to reverse her souls trait from the orange of bravery to the dark orange of fear. The process completely eradicated the last shred of sanity she had. After being absent for an unknown amount of time, Agate rejoined her family, who welcomed her back in spite of the changes she had gone through.

Driven by her obsession for victory, Agate furiously demanded a rematch from Copper. He refused, knowing it wouldn’t bring about anything good. Seeing that he wouldn’t move on the issue, Agate threatened the life of Amber, her own sister. Copper attempted to protect her, but was ultimately forced to watch as Agate stabbed her through the chest. This horrible sight caused him to lose his trait, allowing Agate to easily finish him in the same manner. She relished the victory as all life left his eyes.

Unfortunately, she would soon be forced to join her siblings. Inverting one’s trait is immensely stressful on the soul. With her time running out, Agate performed another forbidden spell to ensure that her will lived on: the Bête Noire spell.

The Bête Noire spell consists of creating a powerful, nearly lifelike golem called a “bête noire”. While the golem itself is powerful, a bête noire’s true strength lies in its longevity and ability to form complex thoughts.

Most spells typically act in very basic ways. For example, a simple fire spell will simply follow a chosen path or pattern before disappearing regardless of whether it hit its target or not.

Bêtes noires, on the other hand, can not only accomplish much more complicated tasks, but also think about how they will go about doing so. They are even be able to improvise if things don’t go their way. In addition, they can exist for several weeks before fading. However, if they have a way to replenish their magic (such as harvesting it from souls), they become virtually immortal. A bête noire is essentially a living spell.

Of course, to craft such a being, the cost is extremely high. It requires the caster to use their own soul for the conjuring. Then, they must also have a vessel other than their own body that can be merged with the soul to create the golem.

Agate was willing to sacrifice the life she wouldn’t have for much longer and she had two perfectly good vessels. Still spiteful towards her brother, the wizard chose Amber’s body over Copper’s. Her soul turned pink as it absorbed Amber’s body. With the deed done, Agate lifeless body fell to the floor.

The soul remained sealed and hidden for over 800 years until the barrier was broken. At that moment, it awoke, transformed into the being that would be know as Bête Noire.

Bête Noire knew her purpose from the very start as she possessed some of Agate’s memories as she possessed some of Agate’s memories. Unfortunately, the goal her “mother” left her with was no longer as good-natured as it once was. In Agate’s twisted mental state, it had gone from “Keep humans and monsters separate for both their safeties.” to something akin to “Kill all monsters so that they will never live in peace with humans. Do so by any means necessary, even if it means killing humans who oppose you or using the power of hate.”

Gathering hate is stated to be the universal purpose of a bête noire. It’s fitting when considering the name. “Bête noire” is a french term that literally translates to “black beast”. Black is the color (or lack there of) of hate. In addition, the term “bête noire” is used to indicate a person or object that someone particularly dislikes.

I originally found it ironic that Bête struggled to keep her hate under control, but the solution is simple. She likely only struggled to keep it under control because she wasn’t in her complete form at the time.

Nonetheless, I can’t help thinking that maybe bêtes noires are supposed to succumb to the hate they collect. Perhaps they are meant to serve as vessels for the stuff. After all, Betty still requires a large surplus of magic to keep it at bay. One would think a creature made to collect hate would do more than just resist it a little better than others.

Yet, if bêtes noires are supposed to succumb to hate, why has this one been shown fear it? Perhaps because, as a creature made purely of magic, it would be akin to death, something that she fears because fear is built into her nature.

In order to accomplish her mission, Bête had to gather information on both her enemies and the era she was in. She separated herself into two beings in order to hide her monstrous appearance and blend in with the humans. She dubbed the part she separated from herself “Akumu”, the Japanese word for “Nightmare”. Under the nickname “Betty”, she spent a month observing and planning.

It should be noted that she must have done so 24/7. Bêtes noires don’t need to sleep. It could also be for this reason that she is so unfamiliar with the concept. Agate’s knowledge about sleep was mostly omitted because it had little relevance to the mission.

As previously stated, Betty used her power of fear to look into the memories of the monsters. From the information she gathered, she judged that monsters were in fact deserving of death. This may seem strange to many since, as seen in Undertale, most monsters are innocent and kind-hearted people. How could she possibly think so poorly of them even after seeing their past? Is she blind?

I believe so. Betty may, in fact, be blind to certain degree.

Any normal person would most likely have seen that monsters didn’t deserve what was coming to them. Why didn’t Betty? Because she isn’t a normal person. Highly advanced or not, Bête Noire remains a spell, and spells exist to carry out the will of their caster. They are tools.

If magic bullets could miss because they took pity on the opponent, few people would use them.

Keep in mind that Betty isn’t just a bullet that uses up 0.001% of the caster’s magic. She’s a bête noire. People had to die for her creation. If a person poured all of their life force into a spell that would carry on their will, they would be pretty upset to learn that they failed because the spell didn’t want to do the one thing it was created for.

All this to say that I believe that Betty is unable to go rogue either physically or mentally. She has no choice but to believe she is in the right. After all, if she realized that her only purpose for existing was objectively wrong, it could make her a less effective weapon.

When she looked into the souls of the monsters, it is likely that she was never going to come to any other conclusion than “They are dangerous.”

She did see some of the good in them, but most of what she retained were parts that would prove her right. These included Asgore killing the 6 humans (even though it was the only way to save his kingdom), the horrors Asriel committed as Flowey (even though he was soulless at the time), and Frisk’s many resets (even though they aren’t even a monster). These actions were obviously horrible, but there were nuances that made them more understandable. Context was important.

Betty, who I believe was unable to pick up on such nuances, may have simply taken the most basic message from this. “These monsters did bad things, therefore they are evil and the same must apply to all of monsterkind.” She is blind to anything that doesn’t fit into the way she is supposed to see the world.

(Of course, this doesn’t mean she is unaware of Papyrus or Undyne’s heroic and selfless acts. It just means that can’t see them as proof that monsters are good people.)

As such, Bête may not be wholly responsible for her actions. Some of her malicious acts can be blamed on her creator. After all, her contradictory objective of killing humans to protect humanity was given to her by Agate, who’s mind was far from clear at the time.

However, other aspects are harder to justify. The pleasure she seems to take in her victims’ emotional suffering could have come from Agate as the wizard displayed something similar shortly before casting the spell.

The fact that Bête wouldn’t care if the world ended as long as it was by her hand definitely makes her seem incredibly hypocritical (which she is) and entitled, not to mention evil. I suppose that by annihilating everything she would technically accomplish her goal of killing all monsters. With her one purpose in life fulfilled, she would have no more reason to live. The idea of ruling humanity afterward is likely more of a bonus. Assuming this is the case, it’s a testament to how much important the mission is to her.

Finally, I would like to bring up the debate of whether Betty and Agate are the same person or not because, if they are, most of what has been written here will be completely pointless. There are two ways to look at this.

This post tells us that Agate is technically Betty, but it may only refer to them in the physical sense. Betty’s body is physically Agate’s soul. The debate is about whether they are mentally the same.

This comic is likely the largest piece of evidence to support this. To my knowledge, it is still canon. In it, Bête finds the remains of Agate’s body. Her reaction is quite interesting because she acts and talks as if the body was once hers. She also has to reassure herself that she “can’t die now”, implying that she was once mortal. She also mentions ensuring “our race’s survival” in reference to humanity. For that sentence, she includes herself with the human race. This implies that she was at least human at one point.

This evidence certainly appears conclusive, and it very well might be. However, it directly contradicts this conversation which, to my knowledge, is also still canon. Here, she refers to Agate as “mom”, indicating that she thinks her as a separate being. Why is this? Is one of these sources outdated? Possibly, but I have another proposal.

Betty’s mind appears to be all over the place. One moment, she laments the fact that she is meant to be hated and, at another, she takes joy in torturing her victims. She doesn’t want to die, yet she wouldn’t mind if the world ended at her own hand. She is hypocrite. Sometimes, she believes she is Agate’s creation; at other times, she acts like she is Agate herself.

Bête Noire’s first memories came from Agate. Surely, It isn’t too far-fetched to say that her mind was likely derived from her creator’s. If that is indeed the case, the solution is clear; Betty might be insane just like Agate was before casting the spell. Agate’s insanity could have rubbed off on her creation. Thus, it’s possible that Bête’s thoughts are meant to be hypocritical and contradictory.

In the end, is Betty Agate? She may not even know herself. I believe she is more of an imperfect copy or a “simulacrum”. The things that make her “Agate” are the incomplete memories of the wizard’s life and the similar way of thinking. In my opinion, these don’t make an entirely different person, but they also aren’t enough for her to be considered Agate. She is merely a being in possession of her creator’s memories.

Also, these hints might still be relevant today.

“Steven Universe logic”? You mean the show where almost every problem is solved by talking and all the villains end up becoming good? Sure, that could just be referencing Sans and Asriel getting talked out their states, but you never know. Maybe Betty’ll regret her actions too before dying. Eh? EH?!

“Never assume things”? No kidding. Words to watch by.

#bête noire #glitchtale #agate lightvale #Speculation #undertale #glitchtale betty

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