#I knew I would forget my own tag for you😔
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hello hello!
so i got my mark back on my sleep token visual analysis last night (still cracks me up that i went ahead and wrote about them lol)
and sleep blessed me with another dream about the band!
this was a super meta dream cuz like. okay first i dreamt that i went out to a concert with my family, but i can’t for the life of me remember who it was. after we left that show i went home and then dreamed within my dream. at least, i think that’s how it went. idk it just felt different lmao
anyways, the inner dream was that after i’d left the earlier show, i found out that there was a last minute sleep token show in my city (there’s the dream lol, they’ll never come here)
i got into the show and somehow at the end ended up between the barrier and the stage. vessel jumped down and was thanking the fans and so basically i was like. trying to get through the pathway between stage and barrier while he was following 😂
when we got to the end i stepped aside to let him by and instead got a hug and then when he stepped back he just like, held my face. dream-me may have teared up a little lmao
Sorry I kept this ask for a couple weeks, I liked coming back and reading the end and going ‘wow. That’s so amazing for Exie. I hope they have another dream like this soon.’🤣 I blame the cold for how weirdly sentimental I got over your dream🤣🤣
#I saw your other post you got a good….. mark? is that like a grade in the states?? I wouldn’t know anyway I didn’t get grades LMAO#but it was good yeah?#dang. wish sleep would bless me with good sleep token dreams#I did have a pretty unusual one two nights ago about like. Peter Pan type lost boys but they where cowboys and also there was demons.#ok I meant like a group of run aways they where all college age cause the demons definitely fell into the dark romance category lmao#uhhhh. yeah. idk. I’ve been thinking about it none stop if I’m being honest cause it was one of those ones that felt like entering a new#dimension…. it was. vivid. I can’t really remember what I dreamed about last night😮💨#oops got rambly again sorry#hihi!!!#Exie😁#excelsior9173#Is that the right emoji??? damn….#I knew I would forget my own tag for you😔#I will come back and fix it if I got it wrong
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪. (𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦) 🍊
⤷ summary: saudi arabian and australian grands prix happen! y/n starts making vlogs for the races and it reveals more about her and a certain driver's feelings than she hoped, not that she notices. poor oscar's stuck in the middle of it all but he's trying his best!
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liked by f1, landonorris, and 55,007 others
tagged landonorris and oscarpiastri
mclaren saudi arabia, you were beautiful even if the results weren't! ready for what's to come
12,567 comments
user1 admin not using a single nice photo of the drivers 😭
user2 admin be honest is this your revenge era
mclaren well, yes!
user3 HELP MEEEE
user4 the way lando looks at her 😭
user5 this is a place of business
user6 oscar looks petrified 💀
mclaren dw guys we're still training him!
oscarpiastri wtf why would u say it like that, i'm not a dog
mclaren full-time team mascot, part time driver
user7 admin drop the insta your so pretty 😭😭
user8 no literally, content of her WHERE
mclaren ynusername 🤲🏼
user9 LETS FUCKING GO
user10 HER DISSING HER OWN TEAM 💀 THEY'RE GONNA FIRE YOU GIRL
mclaren they don't pay me to LIE
user11 CRAZYY
user12 LANDO IS NEVER GETTING A GOOD PIC EVER AGAIN 😭
mclaren what can i say, i am no mans peace 🥱
user13 icon
landonorris reporting you to hr
mclaren for what
landonorris idk harrassment or something
mclaren ok keyboard warrior, lets calm down 💀
user14 KEYBOARD WARRIOR HELEPSJSM
user15 i vote admin just takes over and we don't even get driver pictures
user16 real and true
user17 i fear we may have lost the plot
user18 thoughts on today's results
mclaren i'm trying to be positive in general but man
user19 LMAOOOOO
user20 ik the pr department is shaking in their boots after every post notif
mclaren probably! but unfortunately for everyone, i am going to keep doing whatever i want
user21 no more lando beef, mclaren admin?
mclaren i forget but i never forgive. i forgot why we were fighting but i stay hating bitches 🥱
landonorris literally WHAT DID I DO
mclaren IDK BUT IK U PISSED ME OFF 🫵
oscarpiastri diabolical photo choice
oscarpiastri i look like a little kid on picture day
mclaren so basically your everyday look
oscarpiastri yk what you are making this work environment very hostile
mclaren i can make it more hostile if you want 🤨
oscarpiastri nevermind!!!
maxfewtrell most flattering lando picture i've seen in years
mclaren that's saying something isn't it 🤩
user22 i went to haterville and they all knew you admin
mclaren they actually just elected me mayor there!!! 💪🏻
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liked by bsfusername, landonorris, and 17,800 others
ynusername if my admin duties don't kill me, i promise my caffeine addiction will! (:
3,422 comments
user23 be honest, how many coffees have you had today
ynusername 3!
user24 oh that's not that bad
ynusername +5
user24 JESUS CHRSUT
bsfusername at this point i think meth would be healthier
ynusername honestly yeah
ynusername thanks for the suggestion!!
user25 nooo admin don't do meth ur so sexy aha
ynusername that just made me want to do meth more
landonorris so what i'm hearing is buying you an espresso machine would get me in your good graces 😇
user26 oh brother here he goes
ynusername you must be deaf then
landonorris 😔 2 espresso machines?
ynusername i don't want ur dirty espresso machines 🙄
oscarpiastri now what car is that 🫵
ynusername SHHHHH
oscarpiastri TRAITOR
bsf2username when your not busy being super sexy on a race track, can we go thrifting and get sweetgreen and overpriced coffee 🙏🏼🙏🏼
ynusername this could've been an email, get this out of my comments 💀
ynusername but yeah obviously
user27 admin vlogs when 😔
ynusername SOON!!! very very soon
user28 mother feeding us once again
ynusername brb, adding single mom who works two jobs, loves her kids, and never stops to my resume
danielricciardo coffee recipe where?
ynusername in your dms now ‼️
danielricciardo is this flirting
ynusername no if i was flirting i would've told you to ask me in person, i'm just being charitable
landonorris can i get the coffee recipe too then 🤲🏼
ynusername wdy want next, my mugs? keep on walking charity case
user29 CHARITY CASE IS CRAZYDFHAJ
user30 she's so effortlessly funny and mean i love her
user31 i feel like this is so unprofessional /:
ynusername babe professional where, you are on??? my personal?? account???
user32 maybe she's born with it, maybe it's the fact that she's consumed enough caffeine to tranquelize a horse
user33 oh please the horse would be dead
ynusername call an ambulance, BUT NOT FOR ME ‼️💪🏻🗣️
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ynusername posted to story!
(caption: melbourne vlog out now on youtube, go watch!!)
15,221 replies
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"This thing better be working," could be heard slightly muffled in between vague shuffling sounds. After a second or two of incoherent noise, the camera footage finally came on. Y/N smiled at herself in the camera as the recording light blinked to life, and raised her hand victoriously. She grabbed the smile microphone in front of her and laughed, "It looks like everything is working. Thank God, I wouldn't have known how to fix it otherwise."
"Alright everybody, welcome to the first race weekend vlog hosted by me! Your favorite McLaren admin and social manager. It took me forever to figure out how I wanted to go about this, but now I think I settled on a format that will work," She explained as she walked around the small, clean kitchen that was within frame of the camera. She pulled a glass jar out of her cabinets and left it on the counter before pulling a jug of cold brew and a cartridge of milk out of her fridge.
"It is currently 7:30 A.M on March 29th, and I have a flight to Melbourne in 3 hours. I'm already packed and ready for this weekend, but I wanted to get an introduction filmed and I wanted to take a shower before I left." Y/N paused for a moment as she poured the coffee into her mason jar until she seemed satisfied and began to add some milk. "I am totally exhausted so this is probably cup one of like," she laughed, "I don't know seven probably. And this is a pretty big jar I won't lie."
"The race weekend doesn't technically start until Friday, so I'll be getting there a bit early, but I wanted to film some content before the race weekend gets really hectic, so McLaren is sending me a little bit earlier. I'm excited though! I love the heat, even if I live in London the antithesis of Australian weather," she taste-tested her coffee and hummed in delight.
"God I really never miss with this stuff," she said contently. "Anyway, it's a bit of an early start today, but I'll have plenty of time to sleep on the fight. I mean can you believe that London to Melbourne is a nearly 22 hours," she scoffed. "I vote that we start making all of the races in one place so I don't have to feel jet lag more painful than the force of 1,000 suns every other weekend. Not that I'm complaining," she chuckled awkwardly, "I love my job McLaren please don't fire me."
Abruptly an orange tabby cat came into the frame of the camera, causing Y/N to abruptly grab her glass jar in the hopes of avoiding a mess. She gasped, but laughed as the cat scampered off as quickly as it had come. She shook her head fondly.
"That, ladies and gentleman, was Cali! My cat. She's literally my baby, and I love her more than anything else on this earth. However, she does have an affinity for hitting things off of counters and breaking them. She also hates men and nearly all other animals, so she's basically the world's biggest hazard to society. She's a good girl, I love her." Y/N explained between sips of coffee as she stared wistfully past the the frame of the camera, where it could be assumed Cali had gone.
Abruptly an alarm went off and Y/N threw her head back with a groan.
"That means I have to get in the shower and get ready so I can leave on time," she said, before taking a few more sips of coffee. "I'm going to go do that, and the next time you'll hear my beautiful voice will be at the Melbourne Airport! Cue the travel montage!"
An assortment of clips follow. Y/N is seen dragging her luggage through Heathrow Airport. Y/N is seen ordering another coffee at the airport, finishing the coffee, and ordering another before her flight. Y/N is seen responding to emails from her airplane seat, editing video footage, and responding to instragram and twitter comments. Footage is shown outside the plane window of a cloudy, blue sky and a time lapse is shown as the sky grows beautiful shades of pink and red before becoming a starry-night sky. Y/N is seen cozy in a throw blanket and a travel pillow, presumably asleep with headphones on. Y/N is shown pulling her luggage through the airport once again, with a brand new coffee cup in hand. She smiles, taking a sip before she is seen settled down in a seat in the bustling airport.
"Twenty-two or so hours later and I have finally landed in Melbourne. I'm waiting for my Uber to get here so I can finally be taken to my hotel to drop my stuff off. I have a meeting with the McLaren drivers in two hours, but luckily I slept really well on the plane. I don't know how else I would be able to deal with Lando Norris. I'm going to finish this coffee in order to maximize my tolerance for the next few hours, but I suspect I'll be getting a new coffee before I reach that meeting. My addiction truly knows no bounds," she laughs, trying to ignore the people vaguely shown within frame that are staring at her speaking to a camera.
The camera cuts abruptly and the waiting screen from SpongeBob flashes on the screen, including the narrator's voice reading "2 hours later."
Y/N is shown once again in new clothes, a new coffee cup in hand, and luggage replaced by a small canvas bag. Her comfortable plane clothes have been swapped out for jean shorts and a plain white tank-top. Her hair is clipped back out of her face, and she is adorned with simple gold jewelry and light makeup.
Y/N smiles at the camera as she walks, bustling and talking heard around her, before whispering into the small microphone, "I have arrived at the McLaren garage. It is now time to meet with Lord Lando and workplace mascot Oscar Piastri," the titles slip off her tongue sarcastically and she doesn't bother suppressing an eye-roll.
In the next clip, Oscar and Lando are seen seated on either side of her as they sit in what seems like a board-room. Lando leans over and whispers something that the camera doesn't pick up and Oscar laughs while Y/N grimaces and reaches forward to readjust the camera. When the camera comes back on, Lando and Oscar are seated together on the left of Y/N as she faces on angle toward both them and the camera.
"Don't just sit there and look pretty, say hello to the camera boys," Y/N says and Oscar cackles at the disgruntled look on Lando's face.
"Is that your way of calling me pretty Y/N," Lando chokes out between laughs, and Y/N scoffs with an eye-roll.
"I was actually talking about Oscar, but whatever floats your little papaya boat Norris," Y/N deadpans and Oscar doubles over from the force of his laughter at the pout on Lando's face.
"That's not nice at all, I hope you know that. I think I am sitting here very prettily, thank you very much," Lando says, leaning into the girl next to him to speak into her microphone.
Y/N draws the microphone back, swatting him away, "Yes, yes quite prettily," Y/N mocks in a British accent.
Oscar, still trying to recover, joins in, "Pretty little Lando Norris," and Y/N laughs jovially, reaching across Lando as if the boy weren't there to high-five the Austrialian driver.
"Bullies, the lot of you," Lando mumbles and Y/N brushes off his comment without response before finally facing the camera.
"Anyway, welcome to the first McLaren race weekend vlog. I'm Y/N L/N, the best media manager in the whole god damn world, and this is Lando Norris, the biggest pain in my ass, and Oscar Piastri, the second biggest pain in my ass. How are you feeling about Melbourne boys?" Y/N questions, transitioning smoothly much to the British driver's chagrin.
"Feeling proud to be the second biggest pain in the ass and not the first. Probably the only time i've been glad to get second actually," Oscar comments and Y/N laughs as Lando shakes his head in disappointment.
"But in all seriousness it is good to be home, this is easily my favorite race of the year seeing as it's my home race and i'm looking forward to, hopefully, good results from our team," Oscar supplies and Y/N nods along to his words.
"Yes, Australia, we are in you and we are happy about it," both boys choked out a laugh at the manager's sexual innuendo and Oscar quickly covered his mouth with his hand so as not to react too much. "What about you Lando what are you feeling," Y/N questioned, leaning the small microphone to the boy.
"Feeling like that was a stupid joke. And also like I am going to be getting P1 this weekend. I can feel it in my bones."
"Leave my jokes alone Lando, you're not being paid to be a critic," she scoffed, "and if I recall, you said the same thing in Saudi Arabia not that long ago. What's changed now?"
Lando rolled his eyes, "What's changed is that we're in Australia now and I'm feeling much more confident."
"Well thank god for that," Y/N supplied unhelpfully as Oscar laughed.
"Now, what we really came here for, it's time to film a video for this channel, it's going to be a fan Q and A, I picked the questions. By the time this vlog is up, the QnA should've already been posted. So feel free to stop watching this and to go watch that or whatever," Y/N commented. "After that we're going to film a TikTok challenge," both and Lando and Oscar grimaced, but Y/N ignored their dismay at the idea of fiming yet another TikTok, so cue the montage! Filming time!" Y/N exclaimed and the screen transitioned to a new series of clips.
In the first clip Oscar and Lando were sitting in two chairs while Y/N sat across from them with a set of notecards.
"Lando, this question from user "ln4mania" asks, "Are you and admin actually friends? Or is the online beef real? The people demand answers!" Y/N reads off with a laugh.
"Do you hear that, the people demand answers Lando! Don't keep them waiting!" Oscar and Y/N laugh as Lando shakes his head and tucks his face into his hands.
"There is no beef, guys. Me and admin, or rather me and Y/N are just fine. We hadn't even actually met when that happened," Lando supplied between laughs. Y/N looked at the camera and rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, faux-disagreeing with the boy.
She ignored the simmering pit of disappointment in her stomach. She did in fact have a problem with entitled little Lando Norris who still gave her side-eyed looks and judgmental stares whenever he saw her. If that wasn't humiliating enough, Oscar had clearly noticed it too, which just gave Y/N the feeling that she wasn't being taken seriously at all now that Oscar understood Lando's lack of respect for Y/N. However that didn't matter in the current moment. All that mattered was making this video.
The next clip showed Lando and Oscar sitting at a table with bowls of water in front of them and towels strewn across a chair just within frame of the camera. Y/N stood behind them, hands rested in their hair as she reacted to the prompts being read by someone, an unnamed media intern, off-camera.
"Who is harder to make videos with?" The intern asked and Y/N huffed out a laugh as she let her hands fully grasp Lando's curls and push him into the water quickly. He sputtered, trying to blink the water out of his eyes as Y/N laughed at the wet-puppy dog look he was sporting.
Y/N tried to shake the ridiculous desire to let her hands run through the soft curls underneath her finger tips. Curse Lando and whatever stupidly good, rich-person hair routine he used that made him smell good and look good, and... whatever.
Lando, blinking water out of his eyes, was now undoubtedly certain that being damn-near waterboarded was worth it if it meant that Y/N would laugh like that again. He knew Oscar would harass him again later for being "down-bad" or something along those lines- as he had done every time he caught the man staring-, but as he caught a glimpse of Y/N's bright smile and shaking shoulders, he found he didn't really care.
The next clip showed Oscar, Lando, Y/N, and a laughing media intern as they all dried off- somehow all having become wet through the course of filming. Y/N dried herself off quickly, taking a sip of her newly refilled coffee, not seeing the way that only the camera and Oscar saw Lando stared at her until the driver was nudged back into focus on drying himself off.
A title-card once again came on the screen with white words on a photo collage of Australian grand-prix candids that Y/N had taken, reading "Race montage? More likely than you'd think."
Footage was shown of the free practice sessions. Oscar and Lando getting in and out of their cars. Engineers along the pit wall going over data. The team speaking incoherently, going over the game plan for Sunday's race. Oscar and Lando greeting fans, signing merch, and posing for photos. Y/N smiling and waving at a cheering crowd of people before staring at the camera incredulously with a small caption reading: "Omg she's famous your honor". More clips showed Lando laughing as Oscar tossed grapes and Lando moved to catch them with his mouth. Lando nearly choking as Y/N cackled in the background. Multiple clips showing Y/N with a fresh coffee, and another... and another, as Oscar's face in the background grew with concern. Zak Brown explaining to Y/N the dangers of caffeine overdose, and the need for moderation. Y/N explaining to Zak Brown that without coffee she would simply collapse and die, which the camera showed did nothing to ease her concern. Y/N getting caps signed by the drivers for fans and walking away with intricate friendship bracelets decorating her wrists.
And finally footage of the race. The engineers in the garage. The pit-crew changing tires. The cars racing past as Y/N watched attentively. Footage of the crowd as they cheered when the cars whizzed past. Smiling faces of fans. Y/N's cheers as Oscar and Lando passed. The smiling faces of McLaren employees as Lando and Oscar crossed the checkered flag in P6 and P8 respectively.
Y/N accepting hugs from both drivers, ignoring the burning sensation in her stomach as Lando wrapped his arms around her with a smile and a laugh. Y/N calling Lando smelly and telling him to go wash off if he wants to hug her next time, and him rolling his eyes at her fondly before making a face at the camera. The podium celebration is shown and Y/N smiles as the anthem plays, even though it's not for her own team.
The final clip is shown of Y/N in her hotel room, comfortable in sweats as she sits on the unmade bed.
"Not bad results this week guys! P6 for Lando and P8 for Oscar, which are good points for the team. I'm happy on my end, I think we got some good content filmed, and I am now ready to go to sleep so I can get home to Cali and my own bed quicker. I hope you enjoyed this video, and if you didn't don't tell me because I don't care!" Y/N jokes with a smile.
"Hopefully I will see you all at the next race, if not the race after that! Bye papaya fans, and be sure to follow us on instagram and all of the other social platforms!" Y/N exclaimed, gesturing to the list of the social media handles that appeared on her right hand side.
And with that, the camera cut to black.
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liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1, and 29,145 others
ynusername afraid to report that i fought jetlag and lost 😔 i did sleep for 25 hours straight after melbourne and i had no clue where i was when i woke up! shout out cali for waking me up 🙏🏼 best friend frl
9,547 comments
bsfusername i'm going to try not to be offended by that caption (love you bb cali) but FUCK YOU CAUSE I BOUGHT YOUR ASS BREAKFAST
ynusername my bad! s/o to that bomb ass omlette 🤩
bsfusername never doing shit for you again
user34 that vlog was god tier, how long did that take
ynusername it took 7 hours of editing and years off my life, thanks so much for asking 🥳
maxverstappen1 thanks again for those podium photos! you have a gift for photography 💪🏻
ynusername don't mention it! 👍🏼
ynusername (no seriously, mclaren might behead me)
mclaren beheading is so last year. firing squad. 🗣️
user35 not y/n threatening herself 💀
oscarpiastri suprised your body didn't naturally wake up for coffee
ynusername it did! just 25 hours later
user36 your poor cat was literally starving for a whole day? youre a horrible owner
ynusername let me introduce you to god's greatest creation: the automatic feeder!!! i'm sure they can mail one to whatever fucking rock you live under!
user37 PERIODDDD
user38 me personally? i'd never log on again
user39 she needs a personal channel 🙏🏼🙏🏼 i'd subscribe
user40 her cat is so cute 😭😭😭 gimme that
ynusername �� STAY BACK HEATHEN, NO ONE TOUCHES CALI AND LIVES
user40 my bad fam 🧍🏻♀️
user41 i want someone to love me as much as she loves that mean ass cat
landonorris don't you have a job to be doing 💀💀 she slept through a full work day
user42 lando always on her ass and for whattttt
user43 obsessed obsessed obsessed
ynusername i had the day off! but not the guy who was streaming video games coming for me 🥱 talking bout get a job
user44 lando and y/n beefing on insta again? we're so back
user45 at this point instagram comment beef isn't enough, they need to duel or some shit
user46 the caffeine addiction almost got her guys
ynusername i wish it would, then i wouldn't have to work with lando's annoying ass
landonorris I CAN SEE YOUR COMMENTS???
ynusername THAT'S THE POINT
user47 honestly just give her a gun atp, these men test her too damn much
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user48 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S RIGHT HERE
user49 no fr, like let's get back to bed grandma
user50 OP, are you concussed?
user51 no actually cause didn't y/n just say she wanted to khs working with him 💀💀
pastryboy81 that sign can't stop me, because i can't read!
user53 OK I ACTUALLY SEE THE VISION
user54 ARE YOUR EYES CLOSED???!1!1
user55 i fear i totally get it 😔
user56 it's giving enemies to lovers, secret relationship type vibe lowkkkk
user57 no deadass like he hugged her reallll tight
user58 she also hugged oscar 😭😭?? and he has a whole gf
user59 the way she shoved him off and told him he reeked not 5 seconds after 💀 delusion is a disease yall
user60 someone call the f1 gossip pages cause 😗
user61 more like someone call the ward cause somethings real off with yall 🤨
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sorry that this update took forever, i had surgery and recovery has been rougher than i expected! hope you enjoy!!
please leave your thoughts in the comments and feel free to drop a request for your fav in my asks <3
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𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris smau#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it
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MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 11)
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
liked by jackhughes, nicohischier, and 251,869 others
y/ndevils00 well… that was painful
welcome back to my post-game recap! if you don’t know who i am because you’ve been living under a rock, or you’ve been in jail (don’t do crimes unless you can get away with them), i’m y/n! or as my boyfriend calls me, ‘dove’! i work as the social media manager for one of the sluttiest teams (and maybe the worst this season…) in the National Hockey League: the New Jersey Devils!
let get into it! your favorite (or maybe least favorite. i wouldn’t blame you!) men from hell lost 4-6 against the patriotic old guys tonight…. i can’t say i wasn’t surprised
we had an absolutely scoreless (and sinless) first period on our end, transitioning into intermission down by 3!
but second period is when we really started heating up! we got FOUR lovely goals by THREE lovely people!!
starting with uncle Toffee!! who scored our first AND our fourth goal!! he’s been so queen girlboss slay recently! who knew he would be this good?! not me! i doubted him severely! (i cannot apologize for my previous thoughts about you uncle, i can only ask you to forgive me anyways because you took my DILH and i’m still recovering)
Timo the absolute Tank Engine got us our second goal of the night with his first goal of the season! and no penalties!! i feel like a proud mother to a usually extremely horribly behaved little boy 🥹
and of course, my favorite whore, my very best swiss, my least favorite kind of cheese; captain slut got our third goal of the night!! THAT’S MY HOE!! POP OFF! (he also got a penalty tonight but i’ve opted not to show that because he paid me $20)
and i could never forget to mention that my beautiful angel of a bad bitch, Rowdy, got an assist on THREE out of four of our goals tonight!! he’s only 3 points away from 20 points already!! THAT’S MY (baby)GIRL!
and third period is when we immediately went as cool as the ice they skate on… giving up three goals (including an empty netter to the oldest looking man alive)… we got no goals of our own and my sweet baby angel face bestie number 1 got a penalty for being too perfect 😔
all-in-all, let’s wish the boys luck against the sabres on friday because apparently they need it! i think friday’s enemy gave them some pretty good advice though and they should put it to use!
p.s. ikea baby and merc-dog are my exact reactions to how badly we played in the third
p.p.s. ovi… when i catch you ovi 🥊😑
tagged john.marino97, tofff73, tmeier96, nicohischier, jackhughes, lhughes_06, jesperbratt, and dawson1417
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jackhughes dove, baby, what is that abomination of a 5th photo?
y/ndevils00 my camera wouldn’t focus :(
jackhughes so why post it?
y/ndevils00 you don’t appreciate my talents
jackhughes i can assure you, i appreciate your talents plenty. photo taking is just usually not one of them
lhughes_06 gross
user29 did she just threaten OVECHKIN?! 😭
user17 i fear we may lose these updates after this threat 😪
jesperbratt what was i 😦 at?
y/ndevils00 i honestly couldn’t tell you— i was too busy wondering the best way to fit you in my pocket
john.marino97 i got a picture?!
y/ndevils00 you got an assist and no penalties!
john.marino97 but dawson got a penalty and no assists and still got a picture?
y/ndevils00 you’re not dawson, the standards for you are different
john.marino97 i’ve known you for 4 years and this is how i get treated? DAWSON HAS ONLY KNOWN YOU FOR 2!
y/ndevils00 you tattle on me, you deserve your treatment
dawson1417 she’s got you there, bud
tofff73 you doubted me?!
y/ndevils00 in my defense, i didn’t know you were chill like that
tofff73 jack has informed me that you cried at the trade, i forgive your doubts
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes YOU’RE TELLING HIM MY SECRETS?!
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i wasn’t aware that you usually blast your “secrets” on your instagram story
user81 the random luke picture… y/n loves her smush 🥹
tmeier96 did you just call me a tank engine?
tmeier96 also, i’m OLDER than you!
y/ndevils00 that was a compliment! i’m saying you’re built!
tmeier96 you’re a funny little thing
y/ndevils00 also yes you are older— i said i FELT like a proud mother, not that i AM one. i already have one reckless child at home, i don’t want another
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 she’s a cat.
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes SHE IS OUR BABY
trevorzegras you love testing how far you can push before you get a warning for your behavior, don’t you?
y/ndevils00 i learned from you 🫶
trevorzegras you’re a cockroach
y/ndevils00 all i’m hearing is that i’m resilient and can live through anything
trevorzegras i hate you
y/ndevils00 you WISH you hated me— if you really did then you wouldn’t facetime me twice a week
nicohischier there are so many things i take issue with about my paragraph
y/ndevils00 is it that it’s not long enough? i’m sorry, i’ll make it longer next time!
nicohischier please DON’T.
lhughes_06 ya know, you were a lot nicer before i joined the team
y/ndevils00 oh good! that means i’m doing this right!
lhughes_06 doing what right?
y/ndevils00 tough love!
dawson1417 i didn’t do anything :(
y/ndevils00 i know, sugarplum!
dawson1417 they jailed me…
y/ndevils00 i can’t imagine how traumatic that must’ve been for you
dawson1417 oh it wasn’t that bad, you were in there too
y/ndevils00 yeah…. lindy put me there in 2nd intermission. he said if i wouldn’t stop chirping the capitals as though i was a player, then i needed to be treated like a player and get a penalty…. then i couldn’t get out because the game started again
dawson1417 you can’t skate, how did you get in?
y/ndevils00 i was betrayed
nicohischier @/y/ndevils00 i stand by it.
y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier YOU ALMOST DROPPED ME TWICE
nicohischier those were on purpose.
dawson1417 and how did you get out?
y/ndevils00 my knight in shining armor!
jackhughes @/y/ndevils00 i didn’t get you out?
jesperbratt i did!
jackhughes oh, yeah, that makes sense
#media management au!#media management series <3#jack hughes#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes imagine#jack hughes fic#jack hughes blurb#nj devils#nhl imagine#nhl fic#faithlynn’s insta edits <3#faithlynn’s writings <3
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heeyy^x^
i really like ur writings🤭 and i’m happy bc finally someone writes male reader stories
anyway!! i would like to request a sae x gamer/streamer m!reader fic, where the reader is a big gamer and also a twitch streamer, how did sae get along with that, how does sae take it when the reader doesn't pay attention to him because he's playing / chatting with his friends on discord🫣 sorry if i write something wrong english is not my first language😔 had a good day!!
sae itoshi x male!streamer!reader
tysm anon! i’m glad you enjoy my stuff! i also hope you enjoy this and that it’s to your satisfaction
tags: male reader, established relationship, jealous and overthinking sae, surprise! sae also sucks ass at communicating, also lowkey self-indulgent since i secretly dream of being a streamer, doing a different format than what i typically do
sae knows he’s being hypocritical but he simply can’t help it.
he saw the way you would hole yourself up in your office, streaming for several hours straight almost every day. sometimes you wouldn’t even get out to take a break.
you could’ve given yourself a much more laidback schedule thanks to sae’s success and wealth. instead you chose not to rely on him financially and prioritized your self-independence and stability. the only thing you really accepted from him career-wise was the massive clout boost that came with being his boyfriend. not to mention, you just loved the career path you chose, even if it did make you stressed sometimes. so you were more than fine with committing a lot of effort into it despite his insistence.
he understands and relates to how busy your lifestyle can get, yet he can’t help but feel a little neglected when he rarely sees you outside your office during the day and knows you don’t have much time free time to spend with him.
and perhaps he did feel jealous whenever he overheard you and your other streamer friends voice calling and playing games, laughing and cracking jokes with each other.
ugh he hated the idea that he could get jealous at all. he knows he should be more rational about this. he’s supposed to be the rational one! but he can’t help it. you’re his boyfriend! you should be spending your time with him. laughing and making jokes with him.
it’s gotten so bad that he even felt annoyed by your viewers fawning over you. he knew feeling a threatened by them was crazy because who the hell doesn’t know you’re sae itoshi’s boyfriend. anyone would be crazy to try to come in between that. plus he has plenty of his own simps going insane over him. so he of all people should be more than aware of what it’s like to be with someone who’s famous and very out there in the world. he should especially expect this when he’s dating such a good looking guy.
sae has rarely felt insecure about himself either. until his mind started spiraling and he manages to convince himself that he isn’t interesting enough to be with you compared to your gamer friends. he definitely doesn’t say anything to you about it since he doesn’t want you think he’s weak because of it. instead he lets those overcooked insecurities build up even more and more in his head until he starts believing them.
one day he noticed your office door slightly cracked open so he peeked his head in to see you streaming. which you then noticed from the corner of your eye.
“sae!” you spun your chair around to face him. you quickly took off your headphones, forgetting to mute the microphone, and held your arms out with a big smile. “come here baby!”
he was surprised and flustered from your enthusiastic response. how could he not be when he’s been living with those negative ideas about the relationship for a while that he’s gotten so used to them. he reluctantly walked over to you to which you wrapped your arms around his neck, making him bend down to your eye level.
“i’m so sorry i’ve been so busy lately,” you said before cupping his face and planting kisses on his cheeks. “i promise i’ll make it up to you.” his face softened as he felt his worries wash away thanks to your words and kisses.
“alright,” he nodded. everything’s going to be alright. he watched your screen from the corner of his eye as the live chat started going crazy, with a slight smirk on his face.
a.n: when i got this request, i was also working on a much bigger sae fic which should be coming out in a few days or so. it’s currently 2k+ words. so stay tuned and if anyone wants to be tagged when it’s posted, let me know!
i also don’t think i can post a fic without using read more. i always write so fucking much.
#★ snail.writes ★#sae itoshi#sae itoshi x reader#sae itoshi x male reader#blue lock#blue lock x reader#blue lock x male reader#male reader#scheduled#posting this while listening to weyes blood
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who’d u reckon would own a bunny hybrid? 👀
im not gonna sugarcoat it anon, but bunny hybrids are the common hybrid to get among perverted degenerates, and underneath all the complicated layers these yanderes have is just some horny perv who think they're doing a good thing by taking them in. We all know the truth, though.
im gonna ramble under the cut, but as always, be sure to check out @cinnamonest as their hybrid writings inspired this blog into existence
warning: nsfw. bottom reader. gorou forces himself on reader, but i try to avoid being specific. tighnari thinks about it but drugs you instead. overall horny canine boys who can't decide whether to eat or fuck bunny hybrid 😔
in the future, all works with nsfw will be tagged with #.luspicy
Gorou:
God, just thinking about a bunny hybrid,, i know cinnamonest wrote about gorou having a cat hybrid, but like, I can't stop remembering Beastars and (I stopped watching it but I'll get back into it again) how fitting a floppy eared little bunny would be for him. Gorou. A war general in an environment where everything is peaceful, and there isn't much to do to let out all that excess energy.
I like to think that Gorou would meet his bunny darling while out on patrol. Of course, Watatsumi Island is peaceful now, but there's still some bandits and the like lurking about. When he sees them shivering in a cage, knees tucked to their chest and crying, it does something to him that he doesn't understand himself. You just look so...delicious.
You, seeing this dog towering over you with this crazed look in his eyes, makes you thankful that there's a cage separating the two of you. Even when he "kindly" asks if you know where the key is, you adamantly shake your head no. It's obvious he wants to eat you! He's even drooling! Staying in the cage is definitely safer than trusting this deranged predator looking as if he's finally found the prey of his dreams.
Gorou is strong anyway. He doesn't need something like a key to free you. It only helps in scaring you more when he rips the cage open with a smile on his face. Having you clinging onto the bars was a bit of a problem, though. Gorou just wants to help you out! Usually, bunny hybrids are grateful creatures from what he's heard, but it seems like you're the opposite of that. And stubborn to boot. Don't worry. He offers coming with him the easy way or the hard way.
The easy way is a much better option, as the other would be leaving you out here alone, cage open, for anyone to just kidnap. Of course, he'd warn the soldiers to keep an eye out for you. "They got injured because of my carelessness, so I want to make it up to them!" People would think a bandit or a monster got to you while he was distracted. There's no way someone as nice and dependable as Gorou would harm such an innocent creature like you!
Unfortunately, people forget that Gorou is a dog hybrid. And dogs are technically domesticated wolves no matter how you see them. If another hybrid like Sucrose (whatever animal she may be) were to witness this, she'd immediately find you herself and bring you back to the safety of her hometown. Well, it probably wouldn't be safe, but it's better than the possibility of being eaten, right? Too bad Albedo only visited Inazuma with Klee, and the two of them stayed on Narukami Island.
Thinking on it more, though, he feels like a run will do him some good. "You could always head back to where you came from. There's boats on the lower part of the island, I could take you there!" No thanks. Even with your limited vocabulary, your instincts were screaming at you to get away. To Gorou, it was a relief that you took the bait. Watching your little cotton tail bob behind you as you tried to escape was adorable. You probably thought you could get away from him and go back to your homeland, but what are the chances you even knew how to use a boat?
It didn't take long for him to find you, and even less time to pin you onto the sand below. You could cry out all you want, but nobody would be able to help you. "Don't cry... I'll make sure it won't hurt too badly~" Confused and scared, the thought of another hybrid, a predator to your kind, would even attempt to mate with you was worse than being eaten by one. And escaping was impossible. He was just so big and you so little! That doesn't stop Gorou. And despite what he promised, it hurt a lot because your body wasn't built to handle someone of his nature.
He did clean you up as best as he could, but seeing his love escape you so easily almost made him rearing to go again if you hadn't passed out from exhaustion. Poor thing, you must be so tired after allowing him to pour out all of his love into you. Don't worry, he doesn't mind carrying you to his home. Ah, but he should probably lock you up so you won't escape...
Maybe he'll tire you out with a couple more rounds in the morning, too. Just to be safe.
Tighnari:
I think Tighnari wouldn't necessarily succumb to his instincts, but he's tempted to. How could he not? Seeing such a cute bunny make themselves at home in his territory, eating the vegetables and herbs that he grew,
It's like you thought that because he was chummy with the humans, he wouldn't possibly think of harming you.
And that's exactly what you thought. That fennec fox hybrid seems to eat plants just like you, so he must've been dropped as a child or raised by herbivores. If it were the latter, then that's great! Herbivores usually don't mind sharing food, so you made a nice little burrow right next to Tighnari's field. It was far away from the other humans, and there was a water source nearby, too, so it was absolutely perfect! Any hybrid would kill to be in your place. Having such a convenient food supply and water next to your den.
However, Tighnari was considering hunting you down because you were prey in his territory. Ah, he shouldn't succumb to his instincts. He should be the bigger person and try to scare you off. He grows dangerous things, too, and he would not like you eating (ruining) his research.
But the cute floppy ears... how would it feel between his teeth? How soft is your little tail? How delicious would you taste if he took a bite out of you? Just a little nibble. It won't hurt. Probably.
You, on the other hand, are starting to feel a bit nervous about your housing arrangement. Your neighbor seems to be staring at you from afar and breathing heavily. Sometimes, he looks at you with a dazed expression, and you can see the saliva creep from his mouth. It's impossible, you think. You've seen him eat mushrooms! On several occasions! It gets creepy when he looks in your den while you're out getting water. You hide from him, but he doesn't make an effort to even chase you. He smells you nearby, but he can smell something even sweeter in your home.
He knows you're going into heat soon.
It doesn't matter what you have between the legs, to Tighnari, you're something meant to be eaten. You're at the bottom of the food chain with the other small and weak animals. If he wanted to mate with you, you'd be taking his knot. Would you give birth to pups or kits? Would some be a mixture? Or maybe there's a possibility of a fennec being an herbivore or a bunny being a carnivore? The researcher part of him wants to know so bad...
But it depends if you could give birth at all. It'd be a shame if you didn't, but if you take his knot nicely, he may reconsider eating you.
Tighnari tries his best to control himself, but when he sees you obliviously eating an aphrodisiac flower, the string in him snaps. He'll chomp down on those floppy ears of yours before he starts his little "private research."
#genshin au#genshin x gn reader#genshin x reader#hybrid au#.lurots#genshin hcs#genshin impact x reader#hybrid#.lu-answers#anon ask#tighnari x reader#gorou x reader#bunny hybrid#tighnari x gn reader#gorou x gn reader#.luspicy
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A Familiar Face
TW: Implied Character Death and Past Torture
Whumper walked amongst the formally dressed guests with a glass of wine in his hand. Ever since he lost Whumpee, this was his only to have any kind of fun.
But this was slowly starting to get boring.
Carewhumper was out of town, allegedly doing some business. He was most definitely doing the same thing Whumper was doing. Just last week he said that he’d be free until the end of the month. That suddenly changed three days ago after he received a ‘mysterious message.’
Whumper knew the truth. Carewhumper was off having fun without him. Probably gambling every cent in his pocket and going to some extravagant ball more important than the one Whumper was currently at. Too bad he wasn’t invited to tag along.
He exhaled quietly before leaning against a pillar at the back of the room. Taking a sip of the wine, his gaze roved around the room before landing on a familiar face. Intrigued, he stood straighter and looked at the person more carefully.
They had beautiful, soft features and an obvious figure outlined by their black pants and flowy white button up. A cute little black bow rested against their chest.
With a smirk, Whumper instantly made his way over. He appeared on their right as the person they were previously talking with walked away. Humming, he looked them up and down. “It would seem angels really do exist.”
They looked up at Whumper with a blank expression. They briefly narrowed their eyes before speaking. “Excuse me?”
“A face like yours can light up this whole place without all these chandeliers.”
Their eyes narrowed again as their brows knitted together. He couldn’t tell if it was in confusion or in disgust. Their eyes closely examined his expression before their own fell and they forced a smile. “Do you need something?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.” Whumper shrugged, glancing downward. He adjusted his posture, taking a swig of his wine. “Well there is one thing I definitely need to know. And that’s if I’ve seen you in real life or just in my dreams. You look familiar.”
They frowned deeply. “You really do disgust me.” Whumper’s smirk dissipated as they faced him completely. “You just hurt people and then forget about them once they’re gone, huh?”
He froze. Hurt people? How would this person know that he’s hurt someone? Who are they? Plus, Whumper hasn’t hurt anyone recently. At least, that he can remember…
“So you did forget?” They raised a brow. He opened his mouth to speak but they continued. “You really are sick. You caused Whumpee all of that pain and now you’re out living your best life like you never did any of it. Then you have the gall to say something like that to me after you took them away from me.”
The puzzle pieces instantly began falling together.
Shit. No wonder they look familiar. They aren’t just some random pretty face. They’re Caretaker.
I need more Caretaker-Whumper interactions... 😔
Should I make a part 2?
#whump#whump writing#creative writing#writeblr#writer things#writers on tumblr#suspense#angst#angry caretaker#creepy whumper#carewhumper#tw torture#tw death#caretaker x whumpee#its implied#but its up to you how you see it :)#it could be familial or platonic too#caretaker and whumper#I need more of this in my life fr
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So I have a question, I literally just got to know this game(no, seriously it have been just one day😂)and I would like to know if it has been already revealed why the MC is so important, like any clues or even a theory that you may have about it?And I really appreciate your blog, it's helping me a lot to understand everything, thank you so much, it's really hard to find anything about it.
Welcome to the fandom! 😁 Yeah, it’s difficult finding things about the game, and I wish fans would get together and translate/properly summarize the game. A lot more people would start playing it if there were translations/summaries. 😔 I try to point important things out, but my Japanese skills are not that advanced to understand everything, and translators don’t help. Whenever I can find time, I will try to find links to the translations floating around and put them in a nice organized post.
We don’t know why MC is so important yet, but there are some theories floating out there. There are somethings we know about but these hints are either breadcrumbs from the chapters or theories by fans. I’ll put things under the cut just in case someone doesn’t want spoilers.
MC has an item called the black card, and we know some of the other members in Starless have it too. Apparently, this card is very important, but whoever receives it, gets attacked. There is a shadow organization, Blackcard, that sends these cards out, but we don’t know what importance they have. Haseyama, the owner of Starless, once said that he wants MC’s cards because it’s much higher ranked than his own card.
Now, some of the theories floating around are: the black card has to do with someone’s memories, so pretty much it’s a card that holds memories. An extension to this theory is the people are brainwashed to forget memories/repress them, and the black card “holds” those repressed memories. The only question I have for this is, if the memories are repressed, how come Rindou, Kei, and Sin still remember things from their past? Zakuro has amnesia, but we don’t know if he’s faking it.
Someone else suggested that MC owns Starless, (but has forgotten) and that’s why everyone asks her for her opinions. Let me break this down - the old Starless was owned by Iwami and operated by the husband-wife duo, Akito and Koharu Miki. One day, the Mikis and Iwami vanished into thin air, abandoning Starless and leaving the memories/management in disarray. Kei got a call from the Mikis saying MC was in trouble and they wanted him to help her. If I recall correctly, the Mikis got the black card but passed it onto MC or pretty much used her as bait so that they could escape and go into hiding.
After that Haseyama became the owner of the current Starless and Kokuyou was managing it, but things weren’t going so well until Kei came along and took everything into his hands. He knew MC was going to come to Starless and said she was a special guest in the show restaurant. But if MC is the owner of the new Starless, how come the cast members don’t recognize her, especially the cast members of the old Starless who moved to the new location? Kei does keep saying that Starless is a safe place for MC and is built for their protection, so maybe instead of being the owner of Starless, someone else built the place for MC after learning they were in trouble? Maybe Chiaki? This name has been thrown around a lot in the game, but we don’t know who they are. Kokuyou’s dogtag have Chiaki’s name on them, but from what the fanbase thinks, either those tags belong to MC (meaning MC is Chiaki) or a relative of MC. To add to this, Heath keeps saying MC is Chiaki, but then turns around and says they’re not Chiaki. Kei has told Heath not to say that name out loud.
Another theory suggests MC is related to the Mikis or is their daughter. I can see her being related to them, but the child theory - some of the old cast members refer to Koharu in an informal way, meaning she’s around the same age as them, and MC is her 20s - that doesn’t connect. Unless Koharu is in her 40s and doesn’t care if the cast members refer to her in an informal way, but we have no hints about this yet.
TLDR: We don’t exactly know who MC is or why she’s important, but we do know that she’s “famous” in the sense that there are a lot of people after her (and her black card). She has some connection to the theater restaurant, but we don’t know what. Kei and Heath know what’s going on, and some of the cast members (Takami, Sin, Nekome, Menou, Ran, Sotetsu, Haseyama, Zakuro) seem to know more than they lead on.
Oh and if black cards are given out to people who have lost their memories, does that mean Kokuyou also has one? He never wants to talk about his dogtag, maybe because he doesn’t remember. Hope this gives some insight on what’s going on. The plot is kinda a mess because we don’t fully know what’s going on, but in the last chapter, we got some more interesting breadcrumbs. 👀
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𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 - 𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘺𝘰𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘮𝘪𝘯
Today marks the last page of the year, the 12 chapters of this year, ends today. What a year this was, wasn't it?
Before I start gabbing about my blog, let's converse about how this year has been, difficult and stressful, am I right? I know it has been an extremely difficult time this year. Many of you guys have told me stories about your situations and I feel grateful that I can be a source of help and comfort for at least a few people. Stay safe and take care of your mental health.
A few months ago, I decided to open my own blog to convey my opinion and understanding about jikook, to defend as well to support their relationship. My adventure here has been bitter-sweet. There has been high's and low's here, I spent hours writing and interacting with anons and users. I absolutely loved it! I wouldn't want to bring the negative side that I have been through here to 2022, it's a new year, a new chapter, new memories. Only positive energy! ☺
*sobbing while tuning into 'story of my life, missing one direction hours open lol 😔*
I would also love ❤ to express my admiration and respect for a few bloggers that I have been following and reading for a year now. (i don't really tag y'all since it would disturb you guys but not today ahaaa)
@akookminsupporter - the first blogger that amazed me with her comprehension and support for jikook. The sole blogger who stood up against haters and gave them a befitting reply to them with solid proof. If not for you creating this blog, most of us wouldn't really exist. xx. ♡
@kanmom51 - the second blogger I knew, a blogger who is continuously providing interactive and heartwarming jikook content. We can't forget her love for analysis! *coughs*; QUEEN OF SARCASM LMAO. I bonded with her the most during my journey here, a true pure-hearted blogger and a mother figure to me <3 ilysm kanmom. ♡
@stormblessed95 - definitely have read all of her posts, you'll find a complete guide to jikook. I love the way you write and the way you construct your post! I truly appreciate your dedication to your platform, you got a lot to handle! xo. ♡
special shout-out to : @lehanary @herdestinydream ♥ thank you for being the most supportive and active readers. ily. ♡
Also to the members of our tiny chat group
Part 2 of sobbing 😭
Thank you, everyone, who has been reading my posts on a daily basis, you have made this platform grow. Thank you for the overwhelming love. I surely will continue to blog, might be slowing down. xx
Cheers 🥂 to 2022! Thank you for the happy year BTS 💝
#bts jikook#bts#jikook#kookmin#minkook#blog#tokyokookmin#bts v#bts jin#bts jung hoseok#bts jhope#bts joonie#bts jeongguk#bts jimin#jm#jk#bts yoongi#bangtan#namjoon#reblog if you like uhuu
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You can’t just mention a not chill vacation and not explain it peach
😔😔😔 you know how I be in my tags... reckless.
It wasn’t that wild but there was just one part I can never forget lmao. It was like right after high school graduation, my boyfriends dad owns this cute lil beach house so just a few of us (me, my boyfriend, his bro, two of our friends and two of his bros friends) decided to spend a few days there. One night I couldn’t sleep and I’m hanging out by myself in the kitchen. It’s like maybe 2 in the morning, the door opens, scares the shit out of me until I see it’s my boyfriends brother and he’s all like “oh shit thank god you’re up I need to show you something right now!!!” And I’m all like 👁👄👁
He drags me out to the beach to this little alcove or something and he’s like “look. Look at this shit” it was some bioluminescent algae and it was really the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. So we kinda sit on the rocks, dip our toes in, talk about why we’re both up when I feel this sharp burning sting on my ankle. Turns out it’s a jellyfish and ya girl got stung. Weirdly enough, neither of us were panicking just yet; I was kinda like ow wtf?? And he was all like damn yikes.
He helps me back to the house but then it starts to hurt real fucking bad so I’m like no I can’t go on just get the first aid kit and I’ll wait here. And he’s like are you crazy it’s ass o’clock who knows what murderers are lurking!! Then this mf says “I know how to fix this” and pulls his fucking pants down and I’m like oh my god and I’m screaming and he’s like oh my god shut up my pee is crawling back up!! And I go “I’m gonna fucking murder you” and apparently we were that loud and that close for some of our friends to hear us and my boyfriend comes out all sleepy and disheveled like “what the fuck?? You were gonna piss on my girl???” And I swear to god he almost whipped his dick out but thank god my friend, my beautiful, sane, smart, perfect angel friend stops him and goes “you idiots, pee doesn’t even help”
She made my boyfriend carry me back to the house, poured some vinegar all over my ankle and then this bitch pulled out tweezers and started pulling out goddamn excess tenticals or whatever it was so... not chill lmao. Ruined the rest of the vacation for me 😔😔😔
Anyways so I was supposed to have my wedding this year but covid ya know, so my boyfriends brother tells us around that night it was supposed to be (while I’m sad and drunk and I’m in my wedding dress friends style lmao) “you guys wanna hear my speech?” Boyfriend goes, “no. You’re not even my best man” brother goes “anyways so I was gonna be like one time I almost peed on ya girl and even though it could have saved her life she was so ride or die for you even back then that she would rather die before ever taking a gander at my dick and I knew then that she was so stupid, she was practically made for you.” I was like 🥰🥰🥰 incredible. Bitches be like “I’m with stupid” but nah bitch, I AM stupid. Lol jk I’m so glad no one peed on me haha talk about territorial pissing am I right fellas
#asks#I did see his dick tho#I was kinda traumatized ngl#not of his dick but of the ocean in general lmao#shits so vast and full of depth#it took a while for me to go back to a beach lmao
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