#shits so vast and full of depth

[blueflamebimbo]

DEW KISSED

TIGHNARI X READER

Tighnari likes knowing things. Tighnari likes mushrooms. Above all, Tighnari likes you. The feeling, thankfully, is absolutely mutual.

A/N: I saw a lot of Genshin smut on here, so I wrote something wholesome out of spite. I also said I wasn't going to put a lot of effort into it and ended up researching rain forest preservation systems. My bad.

Dedicated to: @husbandograveyard Warnings: Brush your teeth. This shit sweet. Word count: 1,070

A small smile pulled at the sides of your mouth as you watched the breeze flow through the grass, making it lean into the most serene sea of greens and flowery whites. The wind wasn’t as strong as it had been the past few days, and though clouds still brought a chill to the spring afternoon in the fields of East Sumeru, the sun was finally out again, making the fields glisten.

Your walk from home had taken only a short while as you made your way to the edge of Avidya Forest. The bark felt rough against your skin as you sat down on a fallen tree trunk, a favourite spot of yours that looked out into the depths of the forest. It was the perfect spot to watch forest critters scurry about while enjoying both the warmth of the air and the shade of the trees that towered above you, casting shadows at your feet as the sun travelled from East to West.

There was a familiar tingling sensation in your gut as you eyed the rustling leaves ahead of you. Tomorrow, you would embark on quite the adventure. After spending years with your nose hidden in pages upon pages of information that were carefully tucked away at the Akademiya, your first research project away from home was finally about to start. The thought brought tension to your neck, and you reached up to soothe the sore muscle.

From between the leaves, your favourite project partner emerged. Tighnari set down his satchel in front of you, his gaze never leaving you, but his initial grin faltering slightly at your visible discomfort.

“Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?” he murmured, getting down and sitting back on his haunches. One of his big ears twitched in concern and a dew drop flicked off, hitting the tree trunk.

You nodded sheepishly and let go of your neck, settling both your hands behind you on the bark, letting you lean back slightly. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” You smiled at him reassuringly and let out a soft sigh. “Is it foolish of me to be nervous about tomorrow, though?"

He laughed. Not the gentle, friendly laugh most people knew and appreciated, but a full, cheeky laugh; one that pushed at his cheeks and made his eyes disappear into green crescents. “Don’t be silly – it’s your first research project, honey, of course you’re allowed to be nervous,” he shrugged. “I won’t have you be worried about any of it, though. You’re so well-prepared. I was there every step of the way, watching you learn, watching you grow into the scholar I know you are.” He paused, “And, even if you do doubt – that’s okay, too. I’ll be right there to help. You’re not in this alone, but I have faith in that big brain of yours.”

You could feel your cheeks heating up, the compliment nestling deep inside of your chest and blooming as you watched his eyes peer up at you with both wonder and adoration. It was almost too much to be the subject of the forest watcher’s affection, but it also never got old, not even after this much time had passed.

Looking out into the depths of the forest, you let the soft breeze hit your flushed cheeks and pondered the many truths you would uncover with Tighnari, starting tomorrow.

“It’s strange, isn’t it,” you wondered, “How something so vast and mysterious can be so perfectly balanced.”

Tighnari knew where this was going and sat back into the grass, mindlessly pulling forest specimens out of his satchel before handing you an almost perfect looking common mushroom – his favourite.

“Forests barely have any nutrients in the ground,” you continued, choosing to momentarily ignore the way Tighnari was beaming at the way he had handed you the perfect prop for the speech he knew so very well by now.

“It’s only really the top part of the soil that’s filled with helpful sources: fallen leaves, dead animals, decomposed plant matter…” you trailed off, grinning. “That’s where the good stuff comes from, huh? All for these fun guys to enjoy.” You held up the mushroom and showed off its simple shape. “Mushrooms use the tree roots to absorb all of the delicious nutrients and enter mycorrhiza, the coolest symbiosis of all, which then makes it easier for the tree roots to actually absorb the nutrients and, in turn, the mushrooms get carbohydrates from the tree. How amazing is that?!”

By now, Tighnari looked so proud, it wouldn’t have surprised you if he teared up. But no – surprise was always an option when accompanied by the botanical scholar, and it was evident in the way he got to his feet, cupped your cheeks and planted a gentle kiss to your lips. You could taste the dew drops in his kiss, and it tasted like spring, and adventure, and trust.

When he pulled away, he looked almost smug. It was the look he would give anyone when they contested anything he said, and he would tell them to look it up. Tighnari was rarely wrong.

“You’re so ready that I doubt you’ll need me at all, honey,” he sighed, his eyes bright and excited.

“Does that mean you’ve changed your mind, and you won’t be joining me after all?” you teased. You got up from the tree trunk and stepped closer, gently reaching up and letting your fingertips caress the tip of his ear. A ladybug that had been hiding in the fluff of his fur made its way down your hand and then flew off.

At the intimately tender touch, he closed his eyes for a moment. A soft blush coloured his cheeks. He took a moment to bask in the proximity and then slowly shook his head, curling his arms around your waist. “Absolutely not,” he responded as he opened his eyes once more and resumed his proud gaze. “I’ll go wherever you go, my botanical little genius. I’ll follow you to the corners of the world and discover all of its secrets with you, if you’ll let me.”

And that’s where the doubts about the wild unknown melted away. Even though there was a lot to learn about the world, there were a lot of certainties for you as well. One of those certainties took you by the hand and led you home, ready to embark on your greatest adventure yet. 

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller band au microfic pt2

yayyy part 2 is here! (Again if there’s any typos lmk ty)

(also yeah I changed their ages slightly, the skittles r now 23 not 25 what r u gonna do about it?)

anywayssss here’s the ppl that asked to be tagged/said they wanted more so im tagging them anyway (sorry if u didn’t want that): @always-reading @lady-stardust-incarnate @lulublack90 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @weirdtinkerbellversion @depressedtheatrekiddo @blu3stars @nikholascrow @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @picklerab23

(As always if u wanna be tagged or not tagged pls lmk I won’t mind at all <3)

Link to Part One

Link to Next Part

***

Evan woke up the next morning to the harsh bleep of his phone that always managed to elicit pure terror in his body. He groaned and rolled out of bed. He’d forgotten to turn off the alarm and of course he was awake at six in the fucking morning on a Saturday.

He threw on a dressing gown over his tank top and plaid pyjama bottoms, slipped into his fluffy slippers and trudged to the kitchen for some coffee.

Once he got to the kitchen he saw Dorcas was already sat at the little island she passed him a warm cup of coffee as soon as he sat down. Dorcas had always been the earliest riser of the band, always eager to get ready quickly and get the hell out of the house, he supposed that’s what growing up as the eldest sister to four brothers did to you. 

“Heard your alarm go off, figured you’d forgot to turn it off.”

“Dorcas you lifesaver. And I mean seriously a lifesaver, I might have murdered someone without this coffee.”

Dorcas laughed.

“Who?”

Evan rubbed his eyes.

“Barty probably. He’s fucking annoying.”

“Any excuse to get up close to him then more like.”

Evan’s head snapped up.

“What?”

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“Please you’re shit at hiding it.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout Cas.”

Evan mumbled, taking a long drink from his mug. 

“Please, save the crap. If you don’t have a crush on him, why do you get so worked up by people calling you a couple. It consumes your every waking thought, now why is that? Tell me.”

“Ughhh I don’t want to think about it.”

He groaned and stared into the brown murky depths of the mug he was cradling close to him.

Dorcas softened.

“Look, Marls and Barty are really close, our next tour stop is London which means she’ll obviously drop by rehearsals. I can get her to ask him if he-“

“He doesn’t.”

Evan ran his thumb over a tiny chip in the ceramic. It was a mug Barty had painted around four years ago, Dora had decided for her sixteenth she wanted to go to a pottery painting place like when they were little. Barty was- honestly pretty shit at painting. The background was covered in vast uneven strokes of black. He’d tried to paint a white ferret on it - ‘Ev this one is for you, if you were any animal I’d say you’d be a ferret.’ - thing is it looked more like a snake with legs that was also, well, a zombie. It was Evan’s most prized possession. He’d be taking it to the grave. He turned it to look inside the handle. Barty had been too lazy to paint that part so instead he’d just written crudely with the brush - ‘B + E forever bitches!’. His eyes crinkled fondly as he read it. 

“I just need to get over it.”

His expression hardened and he looked up at Dorcas again.

“Get over what?”

They both turned to find Barty in the doorway. His hair was sticking up in all directions. Fuzzy spikes of green and black. He stretched his arms all the way up as he yawned, flexing his wrist so his ‘SKITTLES’ tattoo was on full display. He had one of Evan’s jumpers on over his pyjama top. Evan really wanted to reach out and hold. Why’d he have to go and look so soft? Wasn’t fucking fair. 

“Nothing Jr.”

Barty nodded in response as he padded over and sat himself in the chair next to Evan.

“Why’re you even awake?”

Dorcas asked.

Barty dropped his head down onto the island counter dramatically.

“Forgot to turn off my alarm.”

Dorcas laughed out loud, fully threw her head back and everything.

“Two birds of a fucking stupid feather you two are.”

She got up and put her mug in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Barty turned his head up to look at Evan as soon as she was gone.

“You don’t have to tell me anything Evan, but if you want to you can. You know that right?”

Barty lifted his head and propped it up on his hand as Evan nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah I know Barty.”

“Good.”

Barty shuffled his chair closer before dropping his head onto Evan’s shoulder and falling quiet. It was instinctual, the way Evan brought his arms up around him. After a few moments he looked down though, Barty was suspiciously silent.

“Bee?”

He whispered.

“M’awake. You’re just comfy Ev. You’re really good at hugs.”

Might be ‘cause I was built to hold you.

Damn that’s a fucking stupid thing to say. Fuck I’ve turned into Reg whenever he’s around James.

Yeah Evan needed to get over this like fucking yesterday.

•••

Barty breathed in deeply, face buried in the crux of Evan’s neck. He couldn’t help it really. Evan smelled like home. Probably a creepy thing to say, oh well wasn’t like he said it out loud. Evan was home though, plain and simple.

He didn’t want to move, probably ever. Still eventually as the rest of the group came pattering into the kitchen and things got livelier he had to shift away.

•••

They got on the train at noon, ready to head to London. Evan took the window seat watching as the city turned to rolling hills turned to city again. Barty kept sneaking glances over at him, wasn’t really sure what he was looking for honestly but-

“What?”

Evan asked finally, tone irritated.

“Nothing, just bored.”

“Oh um-“

Evan glanced around, he and Barty were in a two seater while the rest of the band sat around the table in front of them, chatting animatedly.

“S’fine Ev, not anything you can do about it, I’m gonna be bored till we get off this bloody train. Fucking buzzing.”

“Excited for tomorrow then yeah?”

Barty turned to him with shining eyes. 

“D’you remember when we were eighteen? First time at the O2 for a concert? Fuck d’you remember seeing it like that, covered in all the lights ‘n shit. Eventim Apollo doesn’t even compare.”

Evan chuckled. They’d gone to the O2 for the first time June 2019 to see a concert when Evan was still in his backstreet boys phase, something no one was allowed to talk about now under any circumstances.

“D’you remember what you said to me?”

•••

“Look at that stage Ev. Imagine playing there. For all these people.”

Evan turned to Barty and ruffled his hair.

“One day Bee, we’ll be playing here. I promise you yeah? We’ll be playing here and it’ll all the fucking sold out.”

“You think?”

•••

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

***

AHHH I HOPE U LIKED ITTTT (idk when part 3 will be coming but hopefully soon <333333)

[duckiemimi]

an in depth explanation as to how an on-screen gego sex scene would actually solve all of the problems in jjk:

1. while the series mainly focuses on the manifestations of “negative” emotions (i say negative with quotation marks because no emotion is inherently negative or harmful; it’s what comes after that counts), i’d argue that “positive” emotions would also manifest the same way—perhaps not as cursed spirits, but within the context of sorcerers, it could manifest as a source of strength. in volume 0, gojo likens love to a curse, but colloquially speaking, love is considered a “positive” emotion. (it can be more than an emotion, but for simplicity’s sake, we’ll refer to it as that.) within this context, love can be strength.

now let’s briefly explore the intersection between love, an abstract concept, and sex, a tangible physicality. what do both these things have in common? serotonin and much more, or in short, “positive” emotions. i’d imagine the output of “positive” emotions between people in love who have sex must be astronomical—limitless, even (at least momentarily).

now let’s imagine the relationship between geto and gojo is one full of love, notwithstanding the trauma. let’s put them in a situation of sex. considering how they were both two of the strongest sorcerers of their time, i’d imagine that their combined cursed energy output concentrated through a lens of “positive” emotions would be incredibly powerful. so powerful that it would even theoretically eradicate the repercussions of humanity’s “negative” emotions, or what we canonically call “cursed spirits.” mass exorcism. this would include our muppet-brain character and the character with repeating limbs. it would be an act of letting love into the vast and empty space of infinity, so to speak, filling every corner and every curve full.

of course, one might ask, how would this happen if both instrumental characters are dead and gone? where would this take place? why, the afterlife, of course! in the series, the afterlife is the wonder that keeps on giving, a mysterious realm where almost anything is possible (except life). it would be a cross-realm mission of sorts. let’s say something like cursed energy exists in the afterlife. if this “making love out of nothing at all” scenario were to happen, then the combined output of cursed energy through a lens of “positive” emotions would leak into the tangible realm, not unlike how cursed energy leaks from non-sorcerers. this, in my humble opinion, would be the metaphysical peak of the battle and this is how gojo can still win. this is the conceptual reverse cursed technique as a large-scale solution. the one who will teach us about love is gego.

2. would make up for the shit way gojo died off-scren methinks

[in-collection]

Hotel Vast Horizon by @rocket-eighty-eight

Heat (1995) | Vincent Hanna/Neil McCauley | 16,202 words | 100 pages

You can see and download the whole typeset HERE.

You can also print it if you want a copy for yourself! I provide printable files below. Check out the guide first ↓ The book is 11x18cm AKA 4,3x7,1" & can be printed with a coptic stitch or staples. Mine's printed on 80gsm grey recycled paper & 210gsm grey paper for the cover.

DOWNLOAD THE FILES / PRINTING & BINDING GUIDE

PRINTING NOTES: This typeset goes pretty close to the edges of the pages, so be careful when cutting it, and the first signature or so has double-spread images, so I'd really recommend making sure your double-sided printing is calibrated for this one (whether you're doing it at home or at a printing shop).

HEY!!!! HI! finally. If you've checked the Heat (1995) (Al Pacino and Robert De Niro Go on a Date: The Movie) tag on AO3 in the past year you've probably checked out Hotel Vast Horizon (Michael Mann Could Never: The Fic). Welp here it is on paper.

The common thread in the typeset was always the ocean (and shit, I said the o-word. did you know there are like 20 references to water, seas and storms in HVH, and yet never once "ocean" is said?). The other thread was the Bitstream Cooper typeface, which is round and curvy and so pleasing on the eye. Isn't it? Also Arial (underrated), because I needed it for the sequencing to show that Michael Mann is a loser. I'm kidding. Or am I? But this brings me to another major thing: the sequencing. (The common denominator between movies and books: the sequence.) That can only be apprehended on the full PDF/book, and it's really something that did not really exist (in so much depths) in the previous typesets.

As to what the sequencing is saying, or what the hell this intro is about (no I did not have a stroke when I did it), I will not say much if only that it is about the vocabulary, the image, the movie, the things that go beyond fate, a little bit Neil vs Vincent and a lot the reason vs the heart. More things shall remain unexplained because I feel they would be better experienced than laid out here.

If you'd still like to know what's actually going on in this thing don't hesitate to send in an ask lol.

More details on the technical matters + a visualization at the bottom, because there is work involved and my micro typography is so clean it could give Neil McCauley a boner.

help where do i even begin? I learnt how to use FontForge to create a new typeface specifically for that symbol at the beginning of the paragraphs in order to implement it in InDesign (see fig.1 below), I changed the Arial's @ in FontForge too (fig.2) to have it fit with the underline in @ rocket88, what the hell.

2. I also drew 11 (I think) illustrations for the intro (yes, those knots......), but that wasn't as complicated as I thought it would be. I do deeply curse InDesign's "Print Booklet" function for how much it hates images though.

3. I would like you to meet my InDesign characters styles (fig.3) as they simply are impeccable and the best you will ever see, I could not have been more professional if you had paid me 5 grand for this. The hyphens! The dashes! The custom small caps!

4. To get even further in the micro typography. It is, in most, most cases, much too time-consuming to properly kern (=modulate the space between your characters and/or words) your text for how little the average eye will get out of it, and/or your average graphic designer is certainly not getting paid enough to actually do it properly. I, on the other hand, am insane and unemployed, therefore yes, I kerned this shit. Micro typo is actually the sculpture of the white spaces of your page. When done thoroughly it does mean checking every characters with your own eyeballs.

So in english, since this typeset is in english, the rules are no spaces for punctuation. Right? and not right ? It makes for a pretty tight block. I do argue too tight - although of course you'll also have times where you want tight. (And this is all within the 5% of the time where kerning matters.) That might not sound too bad until you get to em-dashes, this '—' thing. Which is a literally useless punctuation mark that is so hysterically long it'll leave an unnatural horizontal void in your text and draw all attention to it—you know, instead of the text itself. Useless, because it can always be replaced by commas, colon, semicolon, or parentheses. Unnatural, because em/en-dashes do not follow a typeface's characteristics (when hyphens do! fig4), so they hardly fit with serifs, AND characters are generally vertically stressed in latin (fig5: which one looks normal?) except... well. So you'll have the tightest group of punctuation marks humping each other?!"— then a dash literally the size of a whole ass m that looks nothing like the rest. ridiculous. absurd.

Anyway the point is I said bye-bye to this aberration and used hyphens stretched at 260% (lmao. it works so well?). And sometimes 230%. Sometimes with a space after, sometimes not - if not the same meaning then why the same treatment (fig6)? I wondered at this point if I wasn't going too far (lol) but this is the point of micro typo, so, whatever. See fig7 for more kerning stuff.

5. I have far less things to say about this part than the last even though I must have spent twice as much time on it, but I just wanted to say that I manually set the text rag on all 69 pages, it looks nice, I love tetris, AND!!!! the greatest thing about the whole fucking book (fig8): the text starts on the top line of the first column, and ends, on p.91, on the LAST line of the column, at the very bottom of the page, and IT IS NOT. BY. CHANCE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

thanks for reading. perfection has not been achieved and there might still be typos. see you later.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

'i am raw dogging the depths of My intensities every day' is SO real, I feel that so much. Also, we're not built for this system; we're too whimsical for the machine. Our souls are vast and oceanic, haters are shambolic

We are not built for it ! Every Day I wake up and I wonder, Why TF am I Alive ! Like I Am so sparkling oozing full of love radiance melody Yet it "means nothing" in "reality" , in this plane of existence I am basically the biggest "Failure" out of anyone I've ever met ! I Have brought great disappointment to My family, Even some friends, And yet, I Still Don't Care enough to try & Fit In to Any of "This" ~ ! ! !Everything i have witnessed of this world Since birth Has felt nothing but flawed ! I Rebuke It All and i will die on that hill ! I DONT WANT to impress ANY one ! I Will never lie to myself to participate in A Life I Despise ! Very Few people find this respectful and I don't Care ! I Love Being An Unraveled Piss Of Shit Fail Woman Lovely Destroyer Of Worlds That's What Urban Cyber Grunge Is ALL About !!!

[gaybananabread]

⁠✧.*Are You Listening?*⁠.⁠✧

~Ehehehe the brain maggots won and I can’t say I’m upset by it (＾⩌＾). I’ve binged this show enough times to be put into all kinds of moods by these men, so I might as well write out my feelings. This is set right after S1 Ep. 7, so if you haven’t watched up to there, expect some spoilers! For anyone else who has pirate-based thought goblins, I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Edward

Ler: Stede

Summary: Stede goes on a small rant about what happened on their latest adventure, though Edward isn’t fully listening. When he notices this, he calls the man out, but is met with a rather fascinating reaction.

Warnings: mild Our Flag Means Death spoilers! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

Bobbing with the current, the Revenge drifted peacefully through the sea. Most of the crew was on-deck, chatting and messing around in their moment of peace. However, in the captain’s quarters, two men relaxed, one info-dumping while the other thumbed through random numbers of Stede’s vast collection of novels.

“And did you see that bird’s nest? They had to be Snowy Plovers, no question. Oh, I wish Lucius had brought his sketching journal.”  Stede sighed dreamily, slowly pacing around the room as he spoke. 

Ed hummed, not looking up from the copy of Hansel and Grettle. Stede had allowed him to browse whatever he wanted in the library, though he rarely read anything cover-to-cover. The blonde man continued, not yet noticing his companion’s lack of attention.

“There were so many interesting creatures on that island! I mean, the orange was the real treasure in it all, but I do so enjoy exploring nature when we travel.” Turning on his heel, he spun to face the bearded man once again. “What do you think, Ed?” 

“Uh-huh, yeah. Good, uh, land and shit,” Edward half-heartedly replied, flipping a few more pages into the book. That’s when Stede finally noticed that he wasn’t really listening.

“Edward!” The pirate jolted, shutting the book and actually meeting Stede’s eyes. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you?” Stede huffed, crossing his arms with an almost adorable pout.

“Uh…kinda? I mean, I heard the bit about the birds…” Ed mumbled most of his response, looking away. Yeah, he’d only heard a few words of the other man’s spiel. “Fuckin’, uh…book was distracting.”

With a huff, Stede sat down beside him, picking up the book. “I’m glad you’re interested in literature, but I was talking. It’s a bit rude to ignore people, isn’t it?” While he was a bit annoyed, Stede’s tone was a joking one. He even poked the man’s ribs in a playful manner, though he hadn’t expected Ed’s flinch.

“Damn, did I hurt you?” Stede sounded worried, a profanity even slipping in. He was more panicked than a normal friend should’ve been, though neither commented on it. 

“No, didn’t hurt. Takes more than a fuckin’ finger to hurt me.” Ed swatted Stede’s hand away, his beard hiding the very slight blush on his cheeks. He hadn’t felt a touch like that since…well, it’d certainly been a while. “Just felt…I dunno, fuckin’ weird.” 

“Weird?” Stede spoke softly, his worry melding into confusion. What could possibly feel weird to Blackbeard? He’d only lightly poked the man, and his ribs aren’t…oh. Oh. It took everything Stede had to keep a straight face as he said his next words.

“Might your ribs be a bit sensitive, Ed?” 

Edward nearly did a double-take at the words and his tone, snapping his head in the other man’s direction. “Sensitive? I’m…I’m fuckin’ Blackbeard. Sensitivity doesn’t apply to me.”

Stede rolled his eyes. Yeah right… Stifling a smirk, the blonde slowly slid his hand towards Ed’s side. Before he could do anything, though, a rough hand snatched his wrist. Edward’s eyes met his, full of some unreadable emotion.

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Bonnet.” His tone was gruff and dark, though the emotion in his eyes gained some depth. It was almost…giddy? The word felt foreign when describing Ed, though it fit to a tee.

“Hmmm…I think I fucking do.” Using his other hand, he squeezed Edward’s side. The feeling was such a shock that a damned giggle left the dread pirate’s mouth, his arms moving to clamp to his sides.

That sound made Stede’s stomach fill with a strange fluttering feeling—one he often felt around Edward. He decided to pursue it, scooting closer and wiggling his fingers into Ed’s stomach. 

The feeling wasn’t that intense through his layers of clothing, but it definitely still tickled. Biting his lip, Ed squirmed, trying to shove at Stede’s hands while still protecting himself. It should be noted, however, that he didn’t put up much of a real fight.

“My, Edward. I think someone’s a bit ticklish…” Stede chuckled, trying to slip his fingers under Ed’s arms. He’d had a small taste of the other man’s laughter, and had become hooked, He had to hear more. “I think it’d feel a bit nicer if you let out that laughter, Ed. Don’t you?”

When the eccentric man managed to wedge his fingers up to Ed’s ribs, the pirate knew he was done for. The dam broke, surprisingly bright giggles filling the quarters. They were still gruff, of course—still, the happy air was hard to ignore. 

“Oh dear. I think someone’s got a case of the giggles~” Stede cooed, one hand wiggling on the man’s ribs as the other poked and spidered on his belly. Was he pushing his luck? Oh, absolutely. It was, however, well worth it to see Ed’s silly smile.

 “F-fuhuhuck- Stehehede! Fuhuck ohohoff!” Twisting and wriggling around, Ed hid his face in his shoulder. The bearded man’s heavy boots skidded on the wooden floor, leaving small scuffs. Stede would deal with that later.

The feeling was…well, it wasn’t awful for Edward. He would never let the crew see him like that, of course; he had a reputation to maintain. With Stede, however, it felt nice to laugh. To let a few of his walls down without the fear of the mental rubble coming back to crush him. He wasn’t going to admit any of that, but it was true: his blush, however, was a different story.

“Well, I would, but I think I can see some pink underneath that salt and pepper of yours. Are you blushing, Eddy?” Stede used a slight nickname, his tone incredibly playful and teasing. He was determined to keep Ed giggling for as long as possible. 

“Screhehew youhu!” Edward tried arching his back, but that only freed his ribs up more. Slipping his fingers beneath Ed’s leather, Stede wiggled his fingers against the thinner fabric of his undershirt. That got quite the reaction.

“GRK- FAHAHAHAHA! FUHUHUCK YOUHUHUHU!” Ed’s bright giggles ramped up to loud, raucous laughter. A few snorts worked their way in, making Stede’s heart melt. Oh, how he loved that sound…

“I must say, this is a fine symphony. I’m loving all the onomatopoeias, and your laugh is so melodic!” Wanting to be a bit more mean, Stede hummed a lovely tune by Bach, pretending that his fellow seamen’s ribs and belly were piano keys. “I just love tickling the ivories, don’t you?”

The bearded man couldn’t respond, too lost in laughter to form a coherent sentence. While it was nice to laugh his cares away, he was starting to wear out. His throat was drying up, and his sides were starting to ache. He patted Stede’s wrist, managing to speak through his amusing cackles. “S-STAHAHAP! STEHEHEDE!”

Immediately, Stede pulled away, sensing Ed’s weariness. He didn’t want to push too much. “Goodness, Ed, I-I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away. Are you alright?”

Closing his eyes, Edward took a few deep and giggly breaths. He was certainly tired, but not to an uncomfortable degree. “Qu-quit worryin’... Takes mohore than a little laugh to knohock Blackbeard down.” The red hue on his cheeks slowly subsided, his giggles drying up. Ed recovered pretty quickly.

“Good, good,” Stede sighed, smiling softly. Finally noticing that his hands were still on Edward, he scooted away, blushing. Ed cut him off before he could make a fool of himself. 

“Ya know, it’s been a while since anyone’s had the balls to do somethin’ like that to me. Good on ya, Stede.” He clapped the blonde on the shoulder, though didn’t let go after. Instead, he flipped their positions, swiftly pinning Stede to the couch and nearly straddling him.

Ed made quick work of Stede’s resistance, even though there was hardly any to deal with. “There’s a reason for that, though. Wanna guess why?” He pinned the flamboyant man’s arms above his head without any hesitation. Stede couldn’t help the squeaky giggles that bubbled out of him, already squirming. He shook his head. Edward leaned down and whispered in his ear, scraggly beard hair tickling the poor man’s neck. He was in for a long evening...

“I always get my revenge~”

[definesanity]

VOYABUTT

I BLAME YOU FOR THIS @bitepilled ODOENDJDISOSODID

Vertin was a touchy person.

She liked to poke things, ever since she was young. She'd poke the fences, she'd poke the trees and, at times, would poke the cheeks of Sonetto.

Now, as the Timekeeper, she poked many of the Arcanists she's recruited. They don't mind her eccentricities, some even enjoying it.

Voyager was one of these. Of course, such pokes and hugs had turned into caresses and embraces.

Voyager was a marvel to gaze upon; she could shift her body at a moment's notice and desire.

In this case, Vertin had seen it immediately, as she entered her room, locked it behind her out of habit, and saw what was on her bed.

Voyager. With a butt so big, it was asstronomical.

Voyager was looking over her shoulder at Vertin. The entirety of her back was a galaxy, stars twinkling in that endless abyss, but her hands, feet, and butt remained 'human-like'.

Voyager herself was looking with her usual, kind smile, eyes not betraying any other emotion.

Vertin, very slowly, creeped along to Voyager. She cleared her throat. "...This is quite... a surprise."

A small 'heh heh' came from Voyager. She gazed back at Vertin and, in her opinion, Vertin was much like a galaxy herself. Full of mysterious, possibilities and, above all else, beauty.

"You seem to like this side more." Voyager gently said. It was not said in a teasing manner, but it might as well had been.

Vertin, even still, had to look away, red dusting her cheeks as she tore her gaze away from Voyager's cheeks. "I, ah..."

A sudden push made Vertin land on Voyager's back.

Stars and constellations danced upon the endless back of Voyager.

Despite the sheer volume of the galaxy, Vertin soon found herself face-to...butt.

To say that it was soft would be the understatement of all of the 20th Century. It was akin to a soft jell-o, being able to move at the slightest of movements and kept moving afterwards.

It was then Vertin noted that the butt of thr violinist had freckles on it, twinkling like stars in a night sky. And Vertin, ever an explorer, wanted to explore the boundless depths.

Vertin pressed her hands into it, one to each, and pressed into it. It easily sunk into the vastness and--wait.

Was it... getting bigger?

Voyager merely giggled once more, resting her head in her hands. She also had a small grin on her face, as if daring Vertin to go further.

And Vertin, ever the stubborn leader, did so.

She parted them, and saw gazing at her an almost blue circle in between the vastness of each cheek, reflecting small stars at her.

Voyager's grin seemed to grow almost smug. How could she not be, when allowing the one who cares for her to in-DULGE?!

Voyager gave a jolt when she felt a tongue poking around the blue circle, before it entered it; Voyager looked back to see what could only be described as a starving girl feasting on her asshole.

To each their own, but even still...!

Vertin continued, entranced by the odd taste it left behind that, funnily enough, tasted quite a lot like blueberries. It was unlike others she had, and that was something welcomed.

She near enough devoured it, holding in place Voyager's legs to stop her wiggling away. The noises made from Voyager was adorable, but also... strange, with a glitchy texture.

"V...Vertin...!" quietly whisper-shouted the alien girl, before she reached an orgasm.

And, with it, her body glitched, and Vertin saw space itself.

It was stunning, many stars in that sky. Stars twinkled, having stories of their life and rebirths, with Vertin seeing, in the center of her chest, a shinning ball of dark purple and blue. The 'heart' of the being.

Moving away from her feast, Vertin moved her hand over her mouth to get rid of any and all excess saliva.

"Had dun?" Vertin asked, she not trying at all to hide her shit-eating grin.

"Voyager looked back, her face also reflecting the starry night sky, her eyes gateways into a void of love, and a lack of smugness.

A gift it was. And one Vertin will probably receive, again, and again, and again...

[okamirayne]

Hi Rayne~ I was hoping you could expand on the Naruto homophobic thing you've mentioned a few times in your ask.

In universe, in my opinion, KISHIMOTO is so bad at writing female characters he literally cannot let the women in his universe be full fledged people maybe outside of Tusande and Temari. On top of that he doesn't seem to realize that Naruto's fixation on Sasuke could even be read as romantic and vice versa-add the bonus that the way he makes Naruto and Sasuke behave towards their 'soulmates' not have the same intensity or (imo perceived) depths as the fixation/emotions they have on each other lol it's always been hard for me to get behind naruhina and sasusku outside of heartbreak.

Just to be clear, I also recognize that this isn't Kishimotos intent at all lol he's just a misogynist and his own homophobic humour deeps out into Naruto the character. Even separating Kishinoto the author fromm all it, and reading Naruto as just the character in his own universe, I was Always sort of ??? About my reading his (to me) obvious romantic fixation on Haku and then Sasuke, mixed with his homophobia? It really set off a !!! Going through your blog again, and seeing you even mention it in an ask. I think tis just because 'fandom' in general gets very personal/defensive about their characters or can't seem to hold the idea that authors own shit seeps in/but it can also remain separate from your reading of the story internally. I've also never read/heard another person even allude ro Naruto being read as homophobic, something I've always thought interesting about the character himself (not necessarily why Kishinoto would write that way as a joke y'know?).

Idk if this made sense! But love you! Love the series as always!!!

Hi there Anon! 💜Thanks for your message and I hope my response finds you in good spirits as we step into 2025.

I was hoping you could expand on the Naruto homophobic thing you've mentioned a few times in your ask.

I shall endeavour, my dear! I might need you to clarify what specifically you're curious for me to expand on regarding this topic.

You mentioned how you felt Kishimoto's portrayal of women left a lot to be desired. Ha, yes, I agree with you. Very poor execution with a lot of them (Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Anko, Kurenai etc). I felt especially sad for Ino and Kurenai's characters. I agree that Tsunade and Temari showed a bit more promise.

Now, I respect that Kishimoto has admitted he struggles with the romantic element of his storytelling, and in his defense, his wheelhouse is shōnen manga, originally geared towards young boys, so I gotta give the guy some grace here. I wonder if he imagined he'd garner a load of fangirls as part of the Naruto following! Pretty awesome when you consider the vast and diverse reach it had. Fleshing out the romance and playing 'fix it fic' is what we fans do, right? 😉

[...] he doesn't seem to realize that Naruto's fixation on Sasuke could even be read as romantic and vice versa-add the bonus that the way he makes Naruto and Sasuke behave towards their 'soulmates' not have the same intensity or (imo perceived) depths as the fixation/emotions they have on each other lol it's always been hard for me to get behind naruhina and sasusku outside of heartbreak.

Totally agree with you regarding how NaruHina and SasuSaku fail, respectively, to hold a candle to the NaruSasu/SasuNaru dynamic. It pales by comparison and IMHO it weakens Hinata and Sakura considerably. Arguably, the true soulmate dynamic is clearly the one that exists between Naruto and Sasuke, which I'm assuming Kishimoto meant to be platonic. Now, I might be wrong, but I think Kishimoto is quite savvy to the notion of NaruSasu/SasuNaru. I don't believe this is lost on him (he'd have to be completely ignorant to a large percentage of his fanbase). I reckon an argument could be made for a fair bit of queer-baiting when it comes to Naruto and Sasuke, which is both clever and possibly cruel to the diehard shippers 😅. I mean...come on...

Kishimoto could be said to be capitalising on it - and fair play to him. Creating fodder for the yaoi fans without isolating his predominant shōnen fanbase at that time. It worked.

Just to be clear, I also recognize that this isn't Kishimotos intent at all lol he's just a misogynist and his own homophobic humour deeps out into Naruto the character.

Gotcha. What you mentioned about homophobic humour is a fair point. Yep, that plays out in the series. And yes, that plays out in Naruto's character too.

Now, whether that's a product of Kishimoto's personal views, the character's views, the author's/character's cultural values/attitudes, also the time in which Naruto was written (late 90s, early 2000s), or maybe a combination of all of those factors, is open for discussion or clarification from the author himself. I'm sure there are other readers who have way more insight into Kishimoto's personal views than me, so I can't offer much there. My present understanding is that in the late '90s and early 2000s (around the time of Naruto's debut), Japan's view on homosexuality was still progressing, with a mix of traditional with limited awareness and still some social stigma. Kind of struck me that there wasn't a super strong aversion (I might be way off base here), but not wholesale acceptance either. I guess this is why homosexuality is often portrayed in a comical/comedic way, such as in Naruto?

Even separating Kishinoto the author fromm all it, and reading Naruto as just the character in his own universe, I was Always sort of ??? About my reading his (to me) obvious romantic fixation on Haku and then Sasuke, mixed with his homophobia? It really set off a !!!

Thanks for clarifying for me here, Anon! Playing devil's advocate for the canon Naruto, my take is that Naruto believed Haku was a girl, so naturally any romantic feelings or impressions tanked when he realised Haku was in fact a male. As for Naruto's fixation with Sasuke, regardless of how I might personally perceive it (and of course I take fangirl liberty here, unapologetically and with my own interpretation to back it up lol), it would seem to be platonic. Deep and intense and platonic. Like you, I may interpret it as having massive potential for romantic fixation, but in the canon world, that's not the case - so technically (again, playing devil's advocate here), Naruto's apparent homophobia can very much co-exist with his profound bond with Sasuke. Again, this is why fanfiction exists. We get to rearrange the furniture in our headcanons lol. All that said, I do find it hilarious how Naruto reacts so ridiculously to any perceived notion of homoeroticism (it begs 'the lady doth protest too much' 🤭). It also makes it feel divinely just that his first (and second) kiss was with Sasuke.

I give Kishimoto props for that!

Going through your blog again, and seeing you even mention it in an ask. I think tis just because 'fandom' in general gets very personal/defensive about their characters or can't seem to hold the idea that authors own shit seeps in/but it can also remain separate from your reading of the story internally.

Yes, I hear you. Fandoms can contain large percentages of fans who get extremely defensive/obsessive of the characters and their portrayals (sometimes to insane degrees). True, an author's own crap can definitely leak into a character portrayal. The reverse is also true. Just because an author writes a homophobic character, doesn't mean the author holds that view/perspective/belief. In all fairness, it's hard to determine unless one knows the author. My knowledge of Kishimoto is limited, so you may have more insight regarding his personal views. Yes, I salute you on the point about being able to read/experience a story/character independent of the writer. Best way to do it.

I've also never read/heard another person even allude ro Naruto being read as homophobic, something I've always thought interesting about the character himself (not necessarily why Kishinoto would write that way as a joke y'know?).

Ah, really? That's interesting, Anon. I don't consider the series explicitly homophobic and certainly wouldn't intentionally read it that way, but I couldn't ignore the occassional evidence to support Naruto's reactiveness to the concept - or other characters! There are other comedic allusions, including between Izumo and Kotetsu:

Regarding Naruto's character, I haven't kept up with the Boruto series and have no idea whether any of this has changed during Naruto's continued arc. Others would have to weigh in here.

In the BtB-verse, specifically in HHU, Naruto's journey with his feelings for Sasuke would be the closest I've come to writing any kind of internal struggle regarding sexuality in the BtB-verse.

Idk if this made sense! But love you! Love the series as always!!

Aw! Feel the love! 🥰Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, Anon! I love enaging with readers this way, and find it fascinating what interests them or compels them regarding the fandom. I'm sorry if I haven't answered your ASK properly and failed to expand on what you meant. This might've escaped me, so feel free to clarify if I totally missed the mark.

Big love and appreciation coming at you, my dear! Wishing you all good things for 2025. 💜🫶🏼💜

[suffarustuffaru]

Reading your tags about how people miss the very obvious "there's some fucked up shit boiling underneath" regarding Otto, just gave me a sudden realization. Otto is the only character I know in fiction where they act all innocent and drive up the "clumsy", "just in the side-lines" and "straight-man (heh)" persona. When. Like no one's in the EMT camp is buying it. They know he's way more capable than he let's on. Meanwhile, the tomfoolery is completely brought on by the Western audience.

Like Otto is failing miserably to make other characters believe that he's not up to mischief, Roswaal even thinks it can bring his downfall. But the audience, who even sometimes *sees* his fucked up thought process, is buying it.

*head in hands*

no u bring up so many good points bc ive been really thinking about this for a while T^T its such an interesting phenomenon in the difference in perception otto has between the japanese speaking half of the fandom vs the english speaking half which can be explained by—yeah. media illiteracy mainly. im also putting my head in my hands anon T^T

because—okay sorry wkdndn im gonna get into meta again but hear me out bc this pattern of the fandom underestimating otto is interesting bc i kind of sort of i cracked the code maybe??? o.o i think the nature of otto is a character is that youre SUPPOSED to underestimate him at first, just like what happens sometimes in universe. i mean wayyy back then i definitely wasnt expecting him to get more depth added to him in arc 4–which was a pleasant surprise—which is also the reaction the vast majority of people have to reading/watching arc 4, along with the other vast majority reaction which is being a bit endeared to ottosubas friendship and respecting otto for being a good friend. and then its easy to underestimate otto bc of 1. all the chaos going on in rezero at any given moment and 2. hes almost always overshadowed by other characters doing worse shit or being more insane than he is and 3. otto of course damn well knows hes easy to underestimate and counts on that. thats what he did against roswaal in arc 4. plus—i mean even aesthetics-wise hes 100% DESIGNED to be easy to underestimate. his outfit and physical features make him look either friendly or frazzled or soft. so i think that the point is that we were supposed to be kind of fooled—at first.

because yeah, we’re endeared to otto. we respect him for helping subaru the way he did. we think that hes a nice person and we now support his actions especially after feeling sympathetic towards him after learning his backstory. (or at least the average audience member will think this wjdndn.) but like—you dont even NEED to look at any side content at all for it to dawn on you that theres something Wrong. with him. like all you need is main route arcs 3-8 aka ottos entire screentime thus far, because at arc 4 its so easy to overlook otto unless youre thinking a bit deeper (for example—he gets violent with subaru. like yeah its entertaining, its played for laughs a bit, yeah subaru needed to be snapped out of his own head, but was it 100% necessary??? why did otto have this response??? bc if you just look at the main timeline otto really decided to beat up subaru first. and bc this tendency is now Less Funny in arc 8).

but even if youre just looking at rezero face value, when you get to arc 5 its starting to get even more clear that ottos weird in the head. like we already saw him being very good at scheming and planning in arc 4–in arc 5, we find out about otto hiding the tome for a year. we find out WHY hes been hiding the tome for a year. the tome then leads the witch cult into priestella, so like—in the sense, otto is RESPONSIBLE for arc 5. but theres STILL a tendency sometimes for the audience to continue underestimating him even though by this point we’re getting more clues and many characters around otto, like you said anon, KNOW hes very capable. i keep wondering why this is, but arc 5 is, again, FULL of chaos and different storylines happening at once, so its so easy to almost kind of forget otto there in the background until he occasionally pops up again. plus otto serves an additional role as comedic relief sometimes—he spends all of arc 5 being bitchy and whiny (i say this affectionately HAH) about his camp being full of disasters, for example, so i think the natural response from the audience tends to be “aw otto!! what a silly guy!!” sometimes. you know? so its like. i think at this point some people tend to be like “yeah fair that otto was wary of roswaal and thats why he saved the tome…. anyway ooooh whats going on with these other plot points” wobsbss. its so fascinating bc—ok this might be my own personal experience but anyone reading this pls tell me if you agree or not—i dont think ive seen a lot of people actually even MENTION otto bringing the tome into priestella attracting witch cultists. and the english speaking fandom LOVES to go into certain characters’ wrongdoings so why gloss over otto????

the only explanation i have for this is that from arcs 3-4 underestimating otto is. kind of the point of his character UNTIL you get to arc 5 and the clues in the main story start seeping in even more. and also the western audience DOES have media illiteracy a lot. theres that too. just look at rezero content on youtube or reddit or fanfic sites or other things of that sort T^T but no yeah i think ottos nature as a character exacerbates it. youre supposed to start asking questions about him. youre supposed to start connecting the dots and then SUDDENLY its now EXTREMELY obvious in arc 7-8 and even while theres so much chaos going on its basically shoved in your face. arc 7-8 is just delivering on all the leadup that was arcs 3-5.

and i think that youve gotta be media illiterate for sure to NOT get that otto is not squeaky clean and innocent BY ARC 8. i think that ottos the deconstruction of the loyal best friend trope, and also a mirror into what subaru couldve been like if he decided to be more ruthless instead of jumping right to forgiveness and saving everyone, except sometimes that flies right over the audience’s head wkdndnd. it confuses me bc ive seen some people completely miss the point or completely agree with otto and overlook the Bad Parts of it or, you know, STILL think ottos perfectly sane—like T^T please.

and yeah so back to what you said about otto Not being underestimated In Universe—its such an interesting detail bc hes ALWAYS been simultaneously pathetic and Very Competent wjdndnd. but yeah no all of his friends have seen various hints and clues and evidence of what hes capable of. like even though he hid the tome from them successfully and even though hes hiding info now its INEVITABLE that its gonna blow up in his face one day. like you got characters like garfiel who literally saw otto punch the wall and break his hand in an unhinged fit of rage, julius who got snapped at by otto and while julius is a Bit naive definitely knows somethings off there, anastasia whos smart as hell and definitely knows not to underestimate otto, and roswaal who, like you said anon, literally went out of his way to stop otto from breaking his hand in another unhinged fit of rage and warned otto that he will literally be destroying himself if he keeps going on like this. its this fascinating dichotomy bc otto is NOT fooling anyone around him but at the same time his current schemes are mostly unnoticed—for now—which yeah i havent seen that in a lot of media!!! its an interesting balancing act bc people around him realistically know hes competent after seeing the Proof of that for the past couple arcs, but otto is still finding ways to try and Win…

which—again, the anger and violence is an extension of arc 4 otto!! this is the same guy!! hes always been like this!! ottos kind of stayed the same, deep down, this whole time and as an audience its ONLY shoved in our face with a big gigantic spotlight on it FOUR ARCS LATER, but it was hinted to all this time. and like you said anon—we LITERALLY see ottos fucked up thought processes. literally what sane person thinks any of that shit. its spelled right out for the reader HAH T^T which—yeah. media illiteracy…. and also this whole ask was a longer way of just saying that otto is VERY easy to see at surface level if youre media illiterate. but at the same time it should be very easy to figure out otto is A Bit Fucked Up bc tappei underlines it in bright red print!!! i think people sometimes just hang onto soft awkward silly otto and forget about the rest T^T either that or they dont think he cares about subaru at all. which. that phenomenon of thinking characters that do care about subaru Dont Care is also interesting to me bc why????? we’re at arc 8 and you STILL dont get it??? o.ooooo

but yeah apart from that….. i said this earlier but yeah sometimes some people agree with ottos realism in arc 8 which is. understandable, but the whole point is that he is EXTREME. with it. hes Not in the right here, but the same crowd that wants wanton revenge in rezero is gonna agree with that kind of stuff T^T ottos been lurking in the background so much so that tappei made it meta by doing the whole “walking in darkness” part of his character, so i guess people just. dont see ottos ACTUAL worst traits and instead think he would ditch subaru at the first opportunity or something. but at the point we are now, arc 8 ottos problem isnt that hed ditch subaru. his problem is that he would sacrifice the world for subaru. his problem is that he gets extremely angry at subaru for trying to do good. his problem is that hes trying to micromanage everything around him and is willing to sacrifice anything necessary to get what he wants. but sometimes people dont get that bc otto doesnt look sound or seem like a character thatd do that. the Underestimation part of his character is doing too well on. certain audiences. please T^T the soft and awkward and silly parts ARE part of his character just like all the Darker parts are!!!

additionally im also wondering if western audience perception of otto is also clouded by the fact that otto looks and sounds more feminine / androgynous and he doesnt have the appeal of Overt Power either……. he cant Really be waifu-ified… and he cant be used as a weird self insert like subaru…. and you Have to look at him closer to understand him…. and for some reason people dont tend to hate on him so aggressively, if anything people cant even see his actual canonical flaws half the time wkdndn so if youre not paying attention otto CANT be aggressively hated on bc theres nothing there if ur not looking at it….. and if youre not paying attention otto seems more “boring” compared to the others…… (not that people arent allowed to not have otto as a favorite character bc thats totally fair but im talking about the tendency to think hes Saner than he actually is.) but yeah these are just my guesses. i have no clue the western fandom is a little T^T some people unfortunately cannot read.

anyway. big thank you to the japanese fanbase for understanding ottos character more and making so much wonderful fancontent for him T^T also i think that we as a collective fanbase should stop underestimating otto in general bc its exactly what he wouldnt want and i think itd be really hilarious. <3333 make him explode with rage please

[beesmygod]

So TotK seems to be clicking where BotW wasn't. Any insight on what the key differences are that work for you?

note: i played botw up until the calamity ganon fight and then went "yeah ok ive played a zelda game before", put it down and never went back. didnt play the dlc

i dont think anyone would be surprised to know that im a "majoras mask was the best zelda" guy but the reason has little to do with the "darker tone" or the lore but because reusing assets allowed the dev team to greatly (GREATLY in this case holy shit) expand on the actual contents of the game itself. i love gold/silver best for the same reason.

botw is like running around an empty movie set. theres nothing in that fucking game. at the time, due to the proliferation of crafting mechanics infesting literally every AAA game, it felt like nintendo was more focused about hitting all the checks on a checklist of tired mechanics that were included just for the sake of saying they had it. crafting! weapon durability! open world! pbbbbt.

none of these things proved to be enjoyable to me. keeping in mind that ive been playing zeldas since the snes (skipping only a handful of handheld games), the changes felt like steps away from what makes zelda games unique. crafting felt like an arbitrary step between me and potions. i wanted to swing my master sword with power, not experiment with clumsy weapons that stop existing after i finally get a feel for them. and the open world, frankly sucked.

mm rewarded me for my curiosity. experimentation and exploration would lead to interesting or gratifying results (did you know theres a paper airplane in ikana canyon...). botw is like playing in the window xp background. theres barely any landmarks, except shrines, or anything to do outside of getting the yiga clan's ass. theyre easy to pick out because theyre literally the only people on the road. the world is put to waste; i cant play with it, i can just observe and be extremely artificially hindered by its vastness.

this doesnt really fit anywhere else in the above open world rant, but trading the shrines for small and sparce dungeons was a huge let down. i was hoping for a series of cohesive puzzles intended to help my mastery of my newest weapon or ability. you know. like a zelda game

totk fixed this and every other problem in the best way possible; the devs dumped a ton of toys into my playpen, gave me a hot glue gun, and told me to go buck wild. i love to build a horrible contraption to solve my stupid problems or kill me instantly. i love that experimenting with weapons involves actual experimentation if you desire or you can have an inventory exclusively full of spear type weapons with vastly different properties by gluing a bunch of rocks or monster parts to it. but most importantly....the "stock up->head out->explore->return" loop no longer feels like i have to go to the dmv over and over.

sure, the depths are artificially large in the way that the map in botw was; theres not a lot to do except reveal the map and do plot stuff. but the overworld was given a complete overhaul using the empty map as a starting point. theres actually stuff to look at, ruins to explore, caves to investigate, holes to jump into, and all that shit in the sky to explore. the sky map might be sparse but its meticulously crafted so that just the process of explorating the archipelagos feels like a puzzle you need to solve, as opposed to a hurdle you have to jump.

there is so much more to do in totk that im pretty sure im over 20 hours in and havent done any of the regional main quests. ive been running around picking up side quests, uncovering the map, exploring the depths, fucking around in the sky, and dying my clothes. but its not annoying or overwhelming. it feels more alive and less like a weird map in an abandoned gmod server. im having fun.

for crit: imo, one of the biggest criticisms i have for both these games is that the voice acting is horrendous. nintendo has too much money to be tapping people who sound like they just got out of the shenmue soundbooth. zelda was not improved by voice acting and they should probably go back to everyone just having short exclamations like "HEH HEEH!" or "hmmm...".

also link doesnt roll anymore and its really fucking me up. im really struggling here lol. i keep trying to do dark souls shit and every fight involves me accidentally zooming in with the sheikah slate instead of locking on, hitting l1 istead of shield, and whistling for my horse instead of drinking estus.

also nerf rain

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Chapter Thirty-Four

Your Fate is Sealed With Mine: Y/N Burgess is the granddaughter of Alex and Paul, and after having spent so many summers at their manor and always wondering why she was forbidden from entering the basement, she descends the steps into the world of the Order. She broke out the being that had been trapped in that glass cage, but what does he want with her now that he is free?

Warnings: Morpheus Tries A Thing Called ‘Apologizing’ (Also Finally Get’s His Shit Together), Fiddler’s Green Plays Therapist, Flashbacks.

To Note: Morpheus/Dream x Female!GranddaughterReader, based on Netflix’s ‘The Sandman’, Reader now has long-ish hair for plot reasons (Just so Morpheus can tug on it later).

Word Count: ~2.1k

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Apologizing. Not a concept that Morpheus had ever considered, but one that he was sure he needed to employ. Which is how he found himself searching out his trusted Librarian within the vast depths of the Library. Given the rapid expansion of the wing since his return to full power, Lucienne could be anywhere. Turning down a row of shelves, Morpheus strode his way towards the desk in which the librarian usually could be found. She was nowhere to be seen. Morpheus headed up a nearby spiral staircase and began striding through the upper level.

“Lucienne?” He questioned.

“My lord. There’s something I must tell you.” Lucienne’s voice spoke out. Morpheus turned around to see the librarian emerging from a row of shelves.

“And I will listen.” Morpheus answered, his chin dipping slightly. “But first, you must let me tell you that you were right.” Lucienne looked up at her king in shock. Dream of the Endless, apologizing? What had this realm come to? “The vortex was responsible for the damage to our realm, and I was…” Is was almost painful to say. “Wrong, to risk our safety in the hope that she would locate the missing Arcana.”

“You were not entirely wrong, sir,” Lucienne replied, looking over her glasses. “She’s found them both.”

“What? The Corinthian and Fiddler’s Green? Where? How do you know?” Morpheus instantly questioned.

“Fiddler’s Green told me,” Lucienne explained shortly before the arcana himself appeared, hat tucked neatly against his side as he approached his king and creator. Fiddler’s Green stopped next to Lucienne and bowed his head.

“Apologies, lord, for having left.” Fiddler’s Green spoke.

“Why? Why did you leave?” Morpheus asked, the betrayal he felt clear in his voice. “I trusted you. You were the heart of the Dreaming.”

“No, sir,” Fiddler’s Green protested. “You were the heart of the Dreaming. And you were gone. I was curious.”  He went on. “And it turns out that life as a human contains substance I never even imagined when I was here. Which is why I’ve returned because… he’s murdering them.”

“The Corinthian?” Morpheus repeated, alarm bells going off in his head. His beloved creation was never meant to murder. Certainly not the very beings he was made to serve.

“He appears to have built up a cult of worshippers who kill for pleasure, endangering the waking world and the life of a friend called Rose Walker.”

“The Corinthian has found Rose Walker?” Morpheus repeated.

“Can you imagine the damage he could do with someone like Rose,” Lucienne blurted out, her eyes wide with renewed worry.

“Oh yes, but it is much worse than that,” Fiddler’s Green went on, fingering his hat and cane nervously. “It appears that the queen has taken it upon herself to assist Rose in finding her brother and I fear what the Corinthian will do when they cross paths. He can surely feel her power.”

“You must tell me where they are,”

Fiddler’s Green and Lucienne walked down at hallway, leaving behind their brooding king who now seemed to be in a darkened mood with the knowledge that his queen was in such proximity to his rogue Nightmare. His reaction wasn’t surprising, not with his history of protectiveness towards is lovers. But Y/N Burgess wasn’t just a lover and she wouldn’t bend to Morpheus’s will simply because he bid her so. No, Morpheus had a tendency to fall in love with powerful woman who did not take kindly to being told what to do. Certainly not by him.

“So, he too spent the last century in the waking world.” Fiddler’s Green mused softly after hearing about how Morpheus had been trapped in the basement of a manor for over one hundred years. Lucienne nodded her head in agreement.

“Yes, but he seems to have experienced the worst of humankind.” She reminded the arcana. “And certainly has held some short comings regarding his captivity.”

“Still, his time there appears to have changed him as it has changed me.” Fiddler’s Green argued back. Lucienne gave him a look of skepticism.

“How so?” Fiddler’s Green let out a chuckle. “Lucienne, he came to you and told you he was wrong. It was very nearly an apology. The Morpheus I knew was incapable of that.”

“Hmm.” Lucienne sounded, thinking over Fiddler’s Green’s words. “Then perhaps he will be merciful to you since you came back on your own.”

“Oh, it doesn't matter what happens to me. What matters is that Dream stops the Corinthian and saves Rose Walker and her majesty.” Lucienne raised an eyebrow at her old friend, shaking her head slightly.

“There is no saving Rose Walker.” Lucienne informed him. Fiddler’s Green looked taken aback.

“Why on earth would you say that?” He exclaimed.

“Do you not know?” Lucienne questioned as the pair came to an abrupt stop. “She's a vortex.”

“Oh. Oh, dear. I should have realized. What have I done? He's... He's going to have to kill her.” Fiddler’s Green worried, he set his gaze back on the librarian. “Lucienne, her majesty has no intention of letting anything happened to Rose Walker! She said so herself, she won’t allow any harm come to Rose and her friend. I fear she will defy Lord Morpheus. Lady Y/N is quite serious about her promises, she is already quite upset with Lord Morpheus as it is. I also fear that she will try to take on the Corinthian herself.”

“You will come to learn that Lady Y/N is not as accepting to Lord Morpheus’ ways and has a perchance to challenge him. Thus the reason why she has left the Dreaming in the first place.” Lucienne explained, adjusting her spectacles.

“Oh dear, she did indicate that she was quite upset with him. I tired to explain his point of view but I’m afraid that she still remains quite hurt by his actions.”

“Unfortunately their affairs are not ours to meddle in. We can simply advise, but I will say, in Lord Morpheus’ endeavor to keep the queen safe, he has only pushed her away with his actions. He certainly hasn’t told her why he acts the way he does. Their entire relationship is based on misunderstanding and miscommunication.”

“Fiddler’s Green,” Morpheus called, approaching the arcana at a slow pace. Fiddler’s Green peered over his glasses at his incoming king and knew what he wanted of him.

“Hello, sir,” Fiddler’s Green greeted, bowing his head. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Morpheus came to a stop in front of him and looked down for a moment before responding, his eyes meeting the gentle ones of Fiddler’s Green.

“You were last to interact with Y/N, is she well?” Morpheus asked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m afraid I have a proclivity to upset her unintentionally and our last encounter was… rather intense. I fear I have severely upset her and she now seeks to spite me for my actions.”

“Oh sir, I am sure she isn’t—“ Morpheus shook his head and held up his hand to cease Fiddler’s Green’s words.

“No, I am well aware of how my recent actions have pushed her. She can be quite spiteful when angered and I believe I have earned such emotion from her this time.” Fiddler’s Green let out a gentle sigh, miscommunication and misunderstanding indeed. These two had absolutely no idea what to do with each other.

“Sir, when I spoke with Lady Y/N, she wasn’t angry or planning on spiting you.” Morpheus’s eyebrow rose in question and Fiddler’s Green rolled his cane between his hands. “She was most upset, sir. It hurts her to stay away, I could feel it. Her actions are not out of spite, but out of a need to prove that she is not a servant who will blindly take orders.”

“Of course she isn’t, she is the queen of the Dreaming and my bonded. She holds the highest power in this realm and can do as she sees fit.” Morpheus replied, his tone indicating that he clearly thought it was an obvious statement. Fiddler’s Green raised his eyebrow.

“But sir, have you allowed her to exercise such will?” He questioned, causing the Endless to actually think about that. “I know you wish to protect her but perhaps in your endeavors you have ignored the very power only she can wield.” Fiddler’s Green wouldn’t say it out loud, but only Y/N Burgess had power over Dream of the Endless, and it seemed that he had forgotten that. “No, sir, she isn’t angry with you. I believe she is deeply hurt that you do not yet treat her as your equal.”

“I’ve been watching over her since she was but a defenseless infant.” Morpheus spoke softly, remembering the endless days and nights of watching Y/N learn how to crawl, to walk, to speak, to dream. “She has suffered because I chose her and I do not wish for her to experience any more of the terrible pain I know I have caused her by choosing to bind her soul to mine. Life has been cruel to her, does she not deserve to be sheltered and protected?”

“Perhaps, sir, may I be so bold?” Fiddler’s Green questioned in hesitancy. He knew that his lord needed to hear what he had to say, but whether or not he wanted to, was another question entirely. Morpheus nodded.

“Of course,” Fiddler’s Green smiled gently, his brows crinkling together.

“When you love someone, you protect them from their pain, you don’t become the cause of it.”  That gave Morpheus a lot to think about.

After speaking with Fiddler’s Green, Morpheus found himself taken to the queen’s wing of the palace. The wing did not seem, nor feel, as light as it had when Y/N had occupied it. The statues were sad and the flowers that dotted the space had long since died. It was as if the wing itself had regressed back to its disparaged state upon it’s queen fleeing from the realm. Was it not days ago that the pair were enjoying each others company without fighting or dirty looks? Morpheus found himself staring at the untouched bed neatly made up.

Y/N had returned to her reading while Morpheus was enthralled with the way her fingers combed through his hair and brushed across his forehead. When had he last felt this at peace? It had to have been hundreds of years. He nearly felt like rumbling in happiness, much like a cat stretched out under the sun. This was what it was to be bonded, to have a connection that was born from the very center of one’s being. If only this could last for eternity.

“You are making it hard to concentrate, Morpheus,” Y/N’s soft voice rivaled a choir of angels. Morpheus couldn’t help the twitch of his lips, a small part of him overjoyed that she found him just as distracting as he did her. A dark eyebrow rose.

“My apologies, I was simply marveling at your exquisite beauty.”

“Well don’t get sappy with me now, I was just starting to tolerate you,” Y/N replied, amusement twinkling in the eyes that remained glued to the book. “Words can be becoming, especially when describing a woman, Morpheus, but they are often fabricated.”

“You think I would be so untruthful in my words to you?” She hummed in answer. “Y/N, I will see you across any world or realm and think you are the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen for as long as I breathe.” Y/N paused in her reading, the gravity of his words registering in her mind. “There is my heart, and then there is you, and I am not sure there is a difference.”

“Then your heart must be quite twisted and cracked, Morpheus,” Y/N spoke, her voice devoid of emotion save for lingering pain.

“I have eternity to fix that.” Her eyes finally dropped to his, those starry eyes bored into hers. “You will forever be my dream.”

Her lips twitched shortly before she added a sentence to his bold statement, her words whispered gently.

“Or perhaps your waking nightmare.”

Y/N was his greatest strength and his darkest desire. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Morpheus pulled out the ruby necklace Y/N had yanked from her neck and refused to wear it despite it’s protective intentions. It hummed with his power and echoed with hers. When Morpheus took care of the Corinthian and the vortex, he was going to have to sit down with Y/N and explain everything. It was not a conversation he was looking forward to.

Date Published: 12/9/22

Last Edit: 8/20/23

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[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Can I ask for some nsfw Riddler (one of the classic versions) with an s/o who hasn't gotten any from him in a while because he's been really busy on some project. And while he tries his best to make time for them, he hasn't had enough time for that particular thing.

S/o also has a thing for sex in workplaces, so they decide to give him an unexpected (but not unpleasant) visit.

"Business Meetings" 60's Riddler x Reader

Ok you said classic and my brain went to 60s Riddler. Who could be more classic than that on my list? Keep in mind anytime I write for 60s riddler, it is a utopian version of the 60s in which racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, ableism, etc is just non-existent. If the show/movie could get away with half the wacky shit it did, I think we can have leeway with historical prejudices.

Anyways, I just went for it. I share the trait of verbosity with the Riddlers at times, unfortunately.

TW: NSFW, Exhibitionism (kinda), light bondage play

You were dating the Riddler, aka Edward Nygma. This was certainly not something you had planned for yourself in your life but here you were. He was handsome, he was charming- Funny and sweet- Yes, a complete and utter dramatic dork, but you loved all that about him.

It didn't hurt that the sex was fantastic. You had discovered rather quickly in your relationship that riddles weren't the only thing he held deep desire for, nor gave a vast depth of attention to. Even when he had long finished himself, he always made sure you were taken care of. He never shamed you for any of your desires. In fact, the purring praise he loved showering on you while you got off gave the opposite impression.

Yet as he plotted and preened for his next grandiose criminal outfit against the Batman, you found yourself... lacking, in a sense. In most ways nothing had changed. He still made time to care for you and support your daily ambitions. Edward was busy but he wasn't leaving you completely in the dust. Except... well. You found yourself missing the physical intimacy he wasn't able to give you in these times.

There was this thought in your mind- it had occurred before but you never gave much credence to it. Sex in the workplace was rather risky. Especially given some of the workplaces and people Edward worked with. As you went without sex, however, the thought kept creeping up into the corners of your mind. Maybe... Perhaps...

The worst that could happen was him telling you it was a bad time.

He always let you know where his current hideout was, in case of emergency. You had a spare key. Dressing in the academia style that you knew drove him crazy, you let yourself in to see him hunched over his desk with plans. His coat was hung up on a nearby rack.

Your voice reached him just as your hands curved over his shoulders to his chest, "Hello, Mr. Nygma." A small chuckle vibrated in his chest at your touch. He was fast to take your hands to lay kisses on them both.

He then turned his head to look at you, "Hello, my pretty." His eyes widened as the full view of you reached him. Those same eyes looked at you up and down before slowly tracing your legs as his body turned around in the chair.

A hum, "And to what do I owe such a vision before me? Tell me, why did the boyfriend ask his partner for a map?"

With a small laugh, you played along, "Hm... I think I know. But you should tell me anyways." You'd heard this one before. From him. That didn't make it less charming every time he said it.

"Because he got lost in their eyes." A gleeful giggle escaped from him just as that dreamy look on his face met yours, "Ah. But you didn't answer the first question. Did I forget a holiday of some sort?"

You leaned against a nearby wall as he started to get up from his chair, "I missed you." That made him pause. A sympathetic look.

Then his face curled into a grin, "Another riddle for my sweet! What did the giraffe ask the... handsome male giraffe?"

The laugh that escaped you let him know how cheesy that was. Yet, you couldn't help leaning in closer to flirt, "Wanna neck with me?"

The walls of the hideout echoed with his high pitched cackling as he grabbed you by the waist to swing you about, "How did I get so LUCKY? A beauteous brain and wit sharp as a tack! You really are my perfect match, aren't you?"

Before you could respond, however, you found the answer to the riddle apt. His lips found your neck and got to work. His hands aided yours in shakily undressing your top half. As his tongue found your collarbone, you mentally praised yourself on this grand idea. A vibratory moan left his throat as your hands moved into his hair to give a light tug.

The desperate way he was unbuttoning his vest told you how much he needed this, too. Now it was your turn to cover his face and neck with kisses. He was undoing his tie and groaning at your loving affection.

"Poor thing. Poor, poor dear." He teased, "To think I left you in such a state."

The palm of your hand lay flat over his front, moving down until it sat over the bulge of his cock. He hisses as you squeezed and was quick to grab your wrist.

He tsked at the movement, "Now, now. Think of how I've been without your touch. If we rush things, it'll be over far too quickly." You couldn't help but concede with a nod. It was too tempting to get right to the good part. What you really wanted.

The silken material of his tie came to rest over your wrists. He kissed you on the lips as his fingers deftly tied your hands together. There was something thrilling about the fact he didn't even have to look. While you could never let it get out, tying and binding was something that your paramour was not only fantastic at, but he deeply enjoyed it. Yet with you it was always gentle. You could break out if you really wanted to.

But you both know you didn't.

The train of thought was reinforced as his kissing moved to your jaw and you could feel his fingers lacing under the tie to ensure it wasn't too tight. Then he pulled so your body pressed closer to his. Both of you laughed as you leaned forward to lay kisses on him. The texture of his gloves reached your abdomen as he began to pull off your lower half of clothing.

You took the opportunity to lace your bound hands over his head to rest on his shoulders. With the two of you pressing your bodies together, he kissed you eagerly and hard on the lips, all while pressing you to walk backwards. He guided you to a nearby desk where he scooped you up on top of the surface. If you opened your eyes, you'd see those baby blues staring back with a dopey, loving gaze.

"Cherub, how I've missed this." He moved to kiss your shoulders and neck and your hands grasped at the back of his shirt, "Everything about you... Such a perfect specimen..." His kisses went to your arm, his eyes wound tight. You found yourself pulling him closer, your legs around his waist.

It just made him grin, "Trying to tell me something? Use your words, why don't you?"

"Please, Edward." You quietly asked.

As he unzipped his pants, he teased, "Have you no shame? What if someone found us like this? Oh... Someone could walk in right now."

Both of you looked to the door in a dramatic pause. He took the opportunity to kiss your cheek as you looked away, causing you to laugh. You couldn't lie, the idea of it... Of course you didn't really want anyone to see this. But the thought made you quiver. The moan you gave him feeling his cock at your entrance was confirmation of that.

As he kissed you, you could hear the sound of a drawer opening. You looked to see him grabbing a tube of- Oh, is that-

"You have that here?" You asked, motioning your head to the container of lube.

A sheepish look washed over his face, "I thought it could be a possibility, at some point. Why not be prepared, my pretty?"

With that, he coated his cock and pressed it further against you until the tip pressed inside. He sighed against your neck as he gave shallow thrusts. You could tell he was trying to pace himself, but you couldn't help the whine that came out. The response of the riddler was to press deeper which made both of you shudder. It was apparent it had been just a touch too long.

"Sweetest thing- to be..." He murmured, "What is... Why are men like chocolate bars?"

You couldn't help but laugh out a moan, "I don't kn- Oh fuck, please don't stop."

The pace increased as Nygma found his rhythm, a shaky laugh leaving his throat. His lips close to your ear, he purred, "Because they're sweet, smooth and head directly for the... hips." A harsher thrust up. The barking laughter that turned to moans filled the room.

You grasped at his face to kiss him, your orgasm close. Weeks without the intimacy between you wound tight in the core of your stomach. Your hand couldn't compare. Given his uncharacteristic silence, you supposed he felt the same. His fingers were pressing tight into the curve of your thighs and ass as he ebbed and flowed with you.

One last kiss and you were coming undone on his cock. You could feel his face beaming against yours as you softly cried out his name and came down from your high. Just before you could get too sensitive, he finished shortly afterwards. His groans pulsated sloppily into your mouth as he did. The warmth of his cum inside you, then dripping out. Something about it all made you suspect he was trying very hard not to finish before you did. A gentleman.

His hands supported your lower back as you pulled your hands back in front of you. Once you were stable sitting up, he untied your wrists.

He kissed both of them, "Worth the trip?"

"Eddie, you're always worth the trip." You sighed breathlessly, "....Are they really going to come back soon?" Suddenly, you felt very naked in his hideout. So so very naked and full of cum.

"Hm?" He looked puzzled for a moment before clicking his tongue, "Ah- No. They won't be back for hours. I just said that to get you excited. Did you like it?"

A nervous nod, "Yeah... Just not..."

"I understand." He kissed you softly, "I'm not so willing to share this vision of you, either. But- I'm sure we could get away with a lot if you wanted. You'd be amazed what you can sneak past people's eyes when they don't want to see it."

The blush on your face definitely portrayed your thoughts on that. He assisted you to sit up and gather your clothes. His eyes moved again over your body as you dressed, a soft look in his eyes. Unless you were mistaken, you'd think he was melting all over again. Before he could get too lost in the thought he was straightening out his tie as best as he could before pulling it back over his neck.

Fully dressed, you came over to tie it for him, "Satisfactory, Mr. Nygma?"

A wink, "Please, my pretty, just call me The Riddler."

You had a feeling it wouldn't be nearly the same wait from this time to the next.

[365sylviaplath]

Week of 10/14-10/20

astrology forecast + collective tarot card for the week

Card for this week: 8 of Swords (reversed) - we've gotta question those self-limiting beliefs this week!! interrogate where you may be putting the walls up and preventing yourself from fully pursuing what you want/deserve. it's a great week for taking stock of where you might be standing in your own way (potential for some inner victim mentality.............. idk.....) and letting that shit go! negative patterns be damned. libra season of justice continues and this week we're introspecting.

Transits/Astro forecast: i'm incredibly biased, but i love venus in sagittarius. after the depths of venus in scorpio, we have to ask the question - what if we just had a little fun with it? what if we could maintain a balance in our relationships - being respected and valued, showing up enthusiastically, yet keeping it lighthearted? cultivating relationships that are passionate, yet still allow us to feel a sense of freedom? the last week or so has had chiron opposing these last libra transits and lots of heavy scorpio/pluto energy - this has not been a particularly light libra season. i'm calling upon ms venus in sagittarius to bring us to the fun. this week's transits give ~dreaming and desiring anew in relationships~ let yourself have fun!!

current retrogrades are jupiter, chiron, saturn, uranus, and neptune. i literally felt pluto go direct the night of the 11th. very much looking forward to closing out that cycle! 2008-now has been a crazy ride.

monday 10/14 - sun square mars, venus opposite uranus rx- a day for self-soothing and taking the road less traveled. tensions may be high, anger and anxieties emerging. build in some extra decompression time. on the other hand, venus opposing uranus will bring some fresh energy to your relationships and partnerships. change and evolution will be keywords here.

tuesday 10/15 - venus trine neptune rx - a day for romantic daydreaming! despite the odds, yesterday might've sparked some new and fun desires in life, love, and creative expression. in honor of the last bit of venus in scorpio, let your yearnings be as outlandish as possible and imagine that your wildest dreams are really quite attainable. love is as vast as we can allow it to be.

thursday 10/17 - full moon in aries, venus sextile pluto, venus enters sagittarius - goooooodness. feelings will be LOUD today. after these dreams and desires and wishes of the last few days, there is a tidal wave of enthusiasm to get you moving. the road less traveled proves to have made all the difference once more. there is somehow an equally strong "closure" energy and "start fresh" energy today - expect some turbulence! sometimes starting anew immediately reminds us of what was left behind. you might need to make a bigger mess first before you actually clean your closet. but keep going!

this week has an interesting mix of "dreamer/romantic" energy, "starting anew" energy, and "closing out cycles" energy. letting go and beginning again go hand in hand here, ride those waves. most importantly, forgive yourself. the coping mechanisms you're facing were created as protection measures, but now tend to stand in your way. they kept you afloat, and now it's time to re-interrogate what will best serve you.

[darby-derby]

Sorry not sorry but kids on TikTok are being so dramatic about the JJK fandom right now. “The new MHA” “the figurine incidents” are you new to the internet??? Have you EVER been in a fandom before? If not, you’re not old enough to be watching JJK or interacting with its fandom anyways. And for the record, JJK is nowhere near MHA in terms of fandom horrificness. I’ve never been in either, but I can easily name like five different things about the MHA fandom that make it so much worse than JJK. (Grown women simping over and making their whole personalities wanting to marry and prey on 15 year old boys, nsfw audios and other sexual content of 15 year olds everywhere, people actually getting into physical altercations and doxxing eachother over ships, actual 15 year olds thinking it’s fine to be with adults because of the aforementioned shit, the destruction of hotel and convention property, etc). The JJK fandom makes horny jokes about fictional characters and themselves. That’s it. That’s the “horrible” fandom these people are whining about. That shit is hilarious, and if you don’t want to see it, you can block tags on TikTok effortlessly to avoid it. No seriously, just click “not interested” and opt to add more detail, then block the tags on the specific post that you don’t want to see more of. If you’ve been on the internet for more than ten years you’ll be fully aware of the fact that someone squeezing period blood from a tampon on their figurines is harmless and doesn’t affect you in any way. There’s an entire subreddit for people cumming on their figurines, this is nowhere close to the worst thing fandoms have done to their figures. Have we already forgotten the rainbow dash jar?

Just to be clear so people don’t start trying to twist this around, I’m not saying they don’t have a right to be grossed out by it or something. I’m saying that making several posts about how horrible that person is for doing shit to their own figures, and blowing it out of proportion by implying it’s even remotely as bad as a fandom full of 30+ year olds simping for teenagers is stupid. It’s dramatic and it’s annoying as hell to be scrolling my normal fyp and suddenly see several vocaloid background slideshows about how “problematic” the JJK fandom is. It’s not even like I can block that shit because they use main tags like “anime” to tag it. If I block that my fyp will be in shambles and I’ll be thrown to the depths of footballtok or something.

“It’s against TikTok TOS” and they got banned. They’ve been banned already. For a while now. Also people literally just straight up post cropped porn on TikTok all the time, this isn’t news either. Just block the tags and move on if you think the fandom is that gross. Better yet: block the tag of the CHARACTER that gets all of the sexual attention. It irritates me to no end how people will just complain about shit then refuse to fix the problem and continue to complain. It’s not the responsibility or fault of other people to bend to your preferences. “Don’t like don’t read”, block and move on. And I can assure you, not seeing harmlessly weird fandom shit isn’t a need. It is VERY much a preference.

Little edit/side note: the vast majority of people complaining directly state in their slideshows and videos that they didn’t get the video on their fyp. They were told about or linked to it and made the conscious decision to view it. We REALLY need to teach people Dead Dove: Do Not Eat outside of ao3.

Anyways I hope my mutuals have a wonderful day, just ignore this lol I had a moment and will likely delete this later.

[devotionbled]

In regards to my last ask reply. Let me talk about that headcanon in-depth and draw attention to another one I have.

She is no longer obligated to drink pennyroyal tea when she does not bleed her monthly bleeding. She can carry the child she has denied, to their birth. She no longer has to abort, to bleed herself of her humanity, what would have been the best part of her in the name of duty.

I subscribe to the implication that for female bearers, having children quickens the effect of the crystal curse. For my Jote, the crystal curse is quite advanced for her age because she totally didn’t heal Joshua all those years in his coma. It’s not something she was forced to do. She did it willingly, (also you can’t tell a child who’s determine to do something, to not do it especially when you indoctrinated them into cult belief.) which is… a vast change from the fate of other bearers.

I like to think this is why the comment “do not dirty your hands” happened. Because she’s dying too. But I’m going to ignore that particular headcanon of mine in some verses.

Back to the original point. Female bearers and having children—means quicker deaths and petrification. Jote would know this knowledge because she’s seen it. The two times her eyes strayed, it resulted in an unexpected pregnancy. Both times she aborted by throwing back the inspiration for GOT’s moontea, like shots. And guess what? Jote knows herbs and the soil well so she would know what pennyroyal does to a pregnant woman. If you wanted pain, it was a late attempt to abort for one of them. She haemorrhaged as a result to the point of almost touching death.

Part of it was self-preservation. Part of it was because she’s so devoted to her duty that fuck that shit. She’s useless with a belly full of a child. She can’t protect Joshua.

Also if she doesn’t self-immolate in her journey to learning who she is after Joshua dies, she does adopt a kid. Pull a Cid.

[randomvarious]

Today’s mix:

Tech House Phenomena 3 by Dave Mothersole 1999 Tech-House

Gonna quote legendary electronic music opinion-haver Ishkur at length here in order to kick off this post, because he and I seem to be of the same mind when it comes to the mostly bad phenomenon that is tech-house music:

Somehow by incorporating the strengths of both Techno and House, Tech House succeeded in appealing to neither. So the result is something frustratingly banal and monotonous when it really shouldn't be...

Tech House straddles the razor-thin tightrope of something that doesn't have enough funky warmth for House yet not enough cold mechanicalism for Techno, so what comes out instead is something stiff, repetitive, and boring. It's such a disappointment, like the last season of Game of Thrones.

Tech House had real promise. It could have done great things with the tools it had. And it's something everyone hoped would happen, like feeding Scrabble tiles to a dog to see if it shits out a word. But instead Tech House wasted its potential on pretentious Berlin nightclubs and that aimless, meandering noodlyness that the Brits are fond of, like a 70s prog rock solo that goes on for way too long. Technically interesting but utterly soulless...

Tech House can be good. There is honestly good Tech House out there. I've even heard some. But finding it is a Herculian task of Sisyphian anguish in a Kafka-esque, Orwellian realm of Dostoevskian torment. It is possible to load up your music player with nothing but Tech House mixes, hop into your car, and drive to the other end of the continent and back and never hear the same song twice yet never hear an interesting song once. The odds of coming across decent Tech House are worse than needles made of diamonds in a rough full of haystacks.

So, a big yes to pretty much all of that. I'm always willing to give tech-house (and all genres, for that matter) a chance, but I usually end up being bored by it in the end, and this ephemeral 1999 mix from veteran UK DJ Dave Mothersole as part of London label Eukahouse’s Tech House Phenomena series is no exception. It's just always basically moderately interesting backbeats with nothing melodically interesting going on on top. Somehow, this CD has a 4.2 rating on Discogs though, which is pretty high, so while Ishkur says this music's appealing to no one, there are people who seem to actually really enjoy it. But I don't think I'll ever understand why, personally.

That said, there are a few rare occasions on this album when the music's good: San Jose, California's E.B.E. has a track that I've loved for a while now called "Distraught," and it's this dubby, electro-splattery groove that has no two bars on it that sound exactly alike. So, for a dance genre that's typically stifled by monotony, this one seems to stand out from the rest.

And the closer, "Luv Talking," from London's Pure Science, is pretty great too. It's something of an infectious party groove that already comes equipped with sampled bits of recorded revelers itself, so it sort of just has this naturally inviting post-disco house essence to it. And it appears to be exclusive to this mix too, besides its appearance on a 12-inch that's also called Tech House Phenomena 3 that was most likely released as a teaser for this mix.

So, if you'd like to hear that song in particular, or you're brave enough to admit that you actually love tech-house, you can message me for this mix, because I unfortunately am unable to find any kind of link for it.

And go check out Ishkur’s Guide to Electronic Music too. His website is a uniquely indispensable resource for learning about electronic music and the histories and sonic characteristics of its many niche genres. His depth of knowledge on the subject is incredibly vast, and his genre explainers are witty, funny, and insightful. Plus, the playlists he puts together for each genre are really good too, especially for the genres he enjoys, which seem to be a lot of them. I’m a really big fan of his work and his writings have definitely played a role in helping me develop my own eclectic and nuanced tastes in electronic music. Without him, this silly music blog I have probably would never exist 🥺.

Highlights:

E.B.E. - "Distraught" Bryan Zentz - "Binary Ritual" Pure Science - "Luv Talking"