#I kinda wanna just. say fuck it and make her her own design

[arolesbianism]

It’s that time of year I cave in and draw one (1) cookie run character ok get a good look at her cause now it’s back into the void with her

[rottenblur]

So soaked|A.ANDERSON

Part two to post workout pump | 2k words

Summary: After a successful night with your tinder hookup you spend a very eventful morning with her further proving she’s the one for you, and that you’ll never shower alone again.

Warning: smut, dirty talk, shower sex, head, fingering, abby being the cutest, choking, domestic ass abby, kinda fluff???

The touch of soft sheets against your bare legs, you wiggle them around then realize this wasn’t the couch, your eyes open. You gaze around, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, she had carried you to her bed? Without waking you?

Who was she, what was this? Were you in some kind of romance movie? You look at the bedside table, a glass of water and a book.

You really didn’t take in much of the bedroom, didn’t look to see if she had good “interior design” you were too busy moaning her name, well you were caught up in the moment for sure.

You move the duvet past your elbows then look to the other side of the bed. You run your hands across the sheets, you wonder if she slept with you.

You sit up, god. You hadn’t thought about it but maybe fucking then spending the night with someone you just met, off tinder of all places wasn’t the smartest on your part.

You look at the floor, to your discarded clothes, brushing it off then grabbing your phone. You look at it, it’s dead. You lean back onto the bed then stand up.

You walk through the bedroom doorway to the living room, grazing your free hand on the white door frame. You look around the living room, for a cord to plug your phone into, you look up at the closed door the opposite side to Abby’s door.

You shouldn’t snoop, but where was she? Did she fuck and dip in her own house? You lay down your phone on the coffee table, and walk to the door. Hovering your hand on the door knob, you lean in. Behind the door you hear heavy breathing and grunting, oh.

You crack the door open, knowing damn well how rude it probably was. You see her, sweaty with her hair down with nothing but a sports bra and boxers on. They were tight around her leg muscles, nothing like how they looked on you. Her arm freckles shiny from the natural sunlight peaking in.

She mutters a quiet “fuck.” as she presses the weights down to her chest then pushes them back up, her hand engulfing the bar. She puts the bar back on the holder, wary of making any noise she must think you’re still asleep. It’s stalkerish how you’re watching her, when she sits up and pushes her light locs behind her ear it almost makes you squeeze your legs together.

She grabs a white towel off the floor, she pats it on her forehead, you pan your eyes how her legs are spread wide on the bench. You pull yourself from continuing to watch her like a creep and knock on the already cracked open door.

She looks at you, her face lightening up. “Hey uh, sorry for creeping on up, my phone is dead so-“ she smiles and stands up. “Of course, in the kitchen.”

She walks you to the kitchen guiding you there with a hand on your hip, you plug in your phone and watch the screen light up. The notifications from your friends asking how the date went flood in, Abby leans down to kiss your neck. “Goodmorning, sleep well?” She asks, you drop your phone back into the counter and tilt your head for easier access.

“So good.” You mutter under your breath. She sucks on a special spot just below your eye and releases with a pop. “Wanna shower with me?” She whispers into your ear, placing delicate kisses in between words. Her hand dancing around your waist, how could you say no. You nod, she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

“That’s what I like to hear.” She twirls you around, she peeks behind you at your phone blowing up. “I can answer those later.” You say and smile, she smiles back.

She walks you to the bathroom, your hand in hers. She turns on the shower, putting your hand under the water to make sure it’s the perfect temperature for you, it’s the little things about her that make you crazy.

She kisses your forehead then strips you out of your clothes, you step into the shower letting the water refresh you after the events of last night. She strips off her clothes and steps in right behind you. You turn around to face her, she looks down at you and for the first time she looks shy.

You can’t focus on any thoughts with how fucking adorable she looked, like a scary dog that only wants to cuddle. You put your arms around her neck and kiss her cheek, she grabs your chin directing it to her lips. She pulls away with a smile on her face, you reach over to her array of body products, but she stops you.

“Let me.” She says and grabs the body wash, she squirts out a decent amount and starts forming suds all over your body. The shower filled with the scent of pine and sandalwood, her in the purest form.

She turns you around, moving her hands from your arms to your chest, god the adrenaline she gave you every time she touched you. Butterflies from your stomach right down to where it matters. She moves her hand down to your stomach, she rests her hands on your hips as the suds wash off.

You can feel her breathing down your neck, sending shivers right down your spine flush with her exposed body. She turns you around one last time, she takes the remaining suds rubbing them across your ass, she’s not shy enough to not grab your ass right now.

You look at her face, then down to her sud covered chest and stomach, the strawberry blonde hair peeking out from in between her muscled thighs. You feel your breath hitch, then you look back up at her, fuck you were lucky.

You had known her barely 24 hours and you were butt ass naked in her shower as she washed your body. All because of some stupid dating app.

She leans down, kissing along your neck to your collarbones, the remainder of suds washing away as she places her hands back onto your ass. She pulls you closer to her by the grip on your ass, her body flush to yours.

“You look so fucking adorable darling.” You whine out a response as she kisses the perfect spot on your neck. It’s surely to be bruised after this shower, she attaches her plush lips to yours.

Transferring one hand to your neck with a gentle squeeze by her fingertips, the other to the back of your thigh. She walks you to the shower wall, hand still tightly wrapped on your neck. “You want this?” She asks, you nod. “More than you could know, I need it.”

You admit, she looks at you for a second then removes her hand from your neck, she kneels before you then puts a thigh on her freckled shoulder, she holds it there as she leans into where you need her.

Her lips connect to your heat, the water dribbling over the two of you making you feel hotter than you were. She licks a stripe up your clit then sucks on it, she looks up at you then mumbles something incoherent.

You tangle your hands into her hair, your back flush to the damp tiles. “Huh?” You ask her, as if her mouth wasn’t preoccupied by devouring you.

She looks back down, disconnecting her mouth, then her eyes come back to your face. “I could spend all day between your thighs.” She says with a smirk.

Blush covers your face as those blue eyes stare at you so innocently, after saying such a vile thing to you. You huff at her pulling her mouth back to you to shut her up, if she kept talking like that you wouldn’t last long.

Her grip on your thigh gets tighter, her mouth quickens her tongue dancing across your clit so perfect and planned. If you looked at her for too long, how her hand wrapped around your thigh, how she was on her knees for you, your knees weaken.

She caught on to your tightly shut eyes in concentration making sure not to miss a single flick of her tongue, she made it impossible to not look at her.

She looked up at you and pulled her mouth away, replacing it with a hand drawing slow and gentle circles on your clit, torture. “You’re gonna watch me eat your perfect fucking pussy or I won’t eat it at all.” She says to you, no she demands you.

You nod quickly. “Please, I will.” You beg her, your hips bucking at her slow fingers. “Good, good girl.” She says and leans back in, but this time it was different. It’s almost like that knowing you were watching her pulled something feral out of her because she fucking ate you up.

Her mouth attacked you like it was craving you for years, it was aggressive but not sloppy, it almost had more precision than before. You feel your knees weaken, you almost couldn’t stand. “F- fuck Abs I can’t ‘m gonna-.” You stuttered out to her and before you could finish your sentence she had dropped your thigh and stood up.

“Not yet darling.” She said towering over you, she grabs your chin and kisses you, you can taste yourself binded with her spit, your legs felt like they had melted long ago.

She pulls away, her hand wrapping around your throat keeping you in place, she looks at you as she slips her fingers inside you. Your walls clenching around them, she moves them gently then connects her lips with yours.

You push your tongue into her mouth, she groans into your mouth. Her hand on your neck tightens, making you feel lighter, her fingers speeding up, with force and intention the tips curling to your favourite spot to be abused. Her kisses are just as aggressive as her hands, your teeth banging with urgency and need.

You feel your walls begin to pulse, she pulls away from you to watch you come undone all over her. She nods at you as you whimper her name. “Just like that, such a beautiful little thing.” She says with a smirk as she attacks your gummy walls with a thrust of her fingers one last time.

She pulls out, her hand loosening from around your neck, you stare at her freckled face as you come down from your high.

She smiles at you, giving you a kiss and wiping a wet strand of hair out of your face, she holds your jaw for a moment just stroking your cheek with her thumb. She could be so sweet then be so aggressive in only ways you want her to be.

“You okay?” She asks, in a genuine tone. You nod with a smile, she smirks back. “Definitely more than okay.” You say wrapping your arms around her. “Ready to get out?” You tilt your head, did she just ask you to leave? “..of the shower darling.” She laughs, you almost laugh with her.

She wraps you in a towel, and sits you on her bed to wait for clothes, you didn’t want clothes around her. You wanted her to stare at every inch of your body 24/7 and personally you think she’d like it.

“Do you want pants or-“ she asks you and you shake your head, there was no need. You get dressed in a hoodie of hers and watch her slip on a t-shirt that was loose on her for once, made her look cute.

After you both got dressed she led you out the living room giving you a kiss and sitting next to you on the couch. She looks over at the kitchen then to you. “I’m going to make breakfast okay? You hungry?” She asks.

You smile at her. “Always.”

A/n: sorry i havent posted in so long why is writing fluff SO HARD i wanna post part three to my college abby

[emmyrosee]

“If I die one more time because you guys say some fuck shit, you’re getting banned.”

Kenma’s been on this boss for hours. Well, an hour and twenty three minutes, to be exact, as his recording time so graciously wouldn’t let him forget. In his chat, there’s a flurry of people who backseat him to tell him how to beat the boss (mods will take care of them later, but it’s still obnoxious), people laughing and a few encouraging comments being tacked on with some generous donations.

At this point, he just wants to end the stream and beat it in the focus of his own company.

But he won’t. Because it’s his job or whatever.

“Kenny?” A voice calls: your voice. Kenma softens and turns to the door, ignoring his character as it dies again. “I bought you some munchies since you didn’t answer my text.”

“Hey princess,” he hums, smiling and leaning his head back against the chair. “Sorry i didn’t get back to you, I’m in the fuckin’ thick of it. How was lunch?”

“It was good,” you say, smiling and bending down to kiss his nose. “The girls say hi and that they’ll watch later; whatcha doin’?”

Kenma gives you a groan of exhaustion, “I’m suffering, that’s what. This game is horrifically hard.”

“I told you it would be, Ken.” Despite your ‘I told you so’, he chuckles and puckers his lips out for a proper kiss, which you comply with happily. In your peripheral, chat spams with orange hearts- your designated emoji amongst his fans- and puke faces for the affection you two just shared.

He hums and pulls away softly, “you wanna give it a whirl? Maybe some new eyes will make this shit easier.”

“You’re the gamer in this dynamic babe,” you snort. Despite this, you scoot to the side so he can get up and switch places with you, watching with a smile as you get settled in his oversized chair.

Chat explodes with an absolute inflation of orange hearts, flowing a mile a second, and it makes you smile to be seen in such a positive light, even if this is far from the first time they’ve seen or supported you.

“Hi guys!” You say eagerly, grabbing the controller while he leans over the back of the chair. The chat quickly fills up with words of wisdom and “GOOD LUCKS!” while Kenma plants a kiss to your cheek. “What do I have to do?”

“Basically just beat the boss; I’ve found that kinda breaking the game by rolling behind the boss and then pressing ‘y’ for the super attack is best, but hey. I’ve also been stuck on this boss since you left, so I don’t really know anything.”

“Thanks for the help,” you snort, but with a roll of your shoulders to get comfortable, you take on the task.

And it goes well! For the first few seconds.

Slowly then after, it turned into you running away from the boss and blaming Kenma- in your defense, he likes his buttons to do certain things, it’s different than you are used to!- while all along, trying to roll behind the boss to swing at his back.

It’s very amusing to everyone but you.

“How are you so bad at this?” He cackles, and you quickly try to shush him.

“Shut up!” You giggle, shaking your head. Your character lays a slash of their sword, but the game doesn’t seem to register it- if anything, your character gets the hit.

“No! Fuck!” You cackle out a whine, while behind you Kenma tugs at his hair in amused disbelief.

“Please- dear god, I will buy you a ring right now if you just get one hit on this boss-“

“DONT SAY THAT!” You whine, hands immediately starting to shake as you tap mercilessly on the buttons, cheeks ablaze while the grin on your face refuses to falter.

This, to your distracted dismay, causes chat to explode, taking your already shaky focus and making it somehow less existent.

dankondits: you’re making the poor lady stressed!

notakodzukenfan: I’ll marry her no cap-

notemmyrosee: 🧡🧡🧡

slobonthyknob: Kodzuken simp, confirmed???

lasagnahypeeee: our baby streamer growing up ;-;

corner.of.internet: when she’s bad at video games but still a 10>>>>

Thank you kuroosassscheek for the 15000 bits: BUY THE WOMAN A RING BEFORE I DIE OF OLD AGE!

“Kuroo, not helping!” You whine, cheeks an absolute scorch while all Kenma does behind you is snicker. Traitor.

Between the absolute unsupportive nature of your boyfriend and all eyes of the Internet being on you as you fail over and over again, you finally cave and give up.

With a pout, you plant the controller back on the desk, letting the opponent hit you with its many attacks, all the while your character grunts in pain. You must look like a child, because the next thing you feel is Kenma’s lips against your cheek, and it causes that pout to finally break up. “You did good,” he praises. “It’s a hard boss; I’m glad you tried it.”

“Me too,” you confess. You lean in to give him a proper kiss, laughing into it as Kenma holds his large hand up, as if to shield the affection from his watchful viewers. You part with a nudge of his nose, and when his hand comes down, you lace your fingers with his. “It was fun, but I think I’ll leave the gaming to you.”

slimesloppy_: EWWWWWWWW

bosscat867: awww dad’s in love 🧡🧡🧡

razzledazzletoes: UR A COUPLE OF SLUTS!!

zedlerlover: use protection kids

anameicantpronouce: 🧡🧡🧡

blitznbawls: 🧡🧡🧡

brucespringsteendaddy: follow for more tips and tricks

tinytivvies: mrs kodzuken 🧡🧡🧡

“Fair enough,” he chuckles, standing back up to let you slip out of the gaming chair. Your eyes avoid chat, you see all the laughing stickers scrolling though, and you shake your head as your hands reach for the headset.

“Alright chat. Here’s Kodzuken. Hope you enjoyed the interlude.” You push up and out of the chair, letting Kenma slip right in and take your spot. As you turn to leave, you offer him one last call- “oh! When you do buy that engagement ring, I expect no less than 6 karats.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” he scoffs, watching you leave with a cheesy smile on his face. He turns back to the camera and slips his headset back on, “dummy. Got you one with 10, you think this is my first day?”

Chat once again explodes with excitement while Kenma merely smirks and goes back to his game, looking at the boss with new eyes and the chat focused on something else.

[kozachenko]

I swear to god, Zanmu has just been on my mind recently, she's taking over my fucking brain please send help

Artist's Note:

Why is it that everytime I do a drawing of Zanmu I always make the canvas size fucking huge and it ends up being a living nightmare to fucking export. I swear to god I had to go from 1200 DPI to 600 to 350.

Exporting hell aside, I loved working on this piece. With Zanmu's design, I wanted to combine all the design details that I love and have seen in other people's drawings of Zanmu and give them my own personal touches. First of all, her sleeves were inspired by @amemenojaku's design for Zanmu, and I absolutley love that detail because not only does it make her feel more regal, it also can be a callback to Satori and old hell, and also gives me the idea that Satori's fashion sense was inspired by Zanmu because IRL a lot of historical fashion was inspired by what the nobles were wearing at the time, and since Satori was around since when Old Hell used to be Hell, she probably took some wardrobe inspo from her (or it could be my headcanon that Satori could've been Zanmu's royal advisor or she was in her court or something but that theory is kinda grasping at strings from other headcanons I have, but that's for a different post). Also, the eye makeup she has was inspired by @jothelion's drawings of Zanmu, and like, I fucking love that detail because it just adds so much like omg I just love it sm.

And now for the design details I put in. I gave Zanmu tassel earrings because I think they'd look great on her. I also really like to exaggerate her hair and really try to make it look wild, as well as having little grey hairs here and there. I also try to add some wrinkles to the corners of her eyes, but TBH I don't know how visible that detail is, since the image is pretty fucking big. I also really exaggerated the tassles/strings on her outfit, since I really wanted to play around with the potential flow they could have. Also, big fan of giving Zanmu longer sleeves and pants. IDK why but I just like how it flows better. Also big fan of making her taller, idk why a lot of fanart makes her short. Also, I placed her horns closer to the front of her head as I just think placing horns in that position looks cool.

Also, if you're wondering about the halo, I took some inspiration from a few of Caravaggio's paintings where he often depicts saints with this very thin halo around the top of their heads. I just liked that detail a lot so I thought I'd include it.

Fun fact, I was originally gonna make the four skeletons Chiyari, Biten, Enoko, and Hisami but I didn't like the prospect of having to draw four more characters, so I chose to replace them with skeletons (if you wanna get silly with it, Zanmu got Hisami to kidnap Aya, set up some skeletons with bones from her bone collection and told her to take a picture of her).

I kinda gave up on Zanmu's feet and the one skeleton's hands (as if drawing hands normally is hard enough but NOPE, HAD TO MAKE IT LIVING HELL FOR MYSELF BY MAKING IT A SKELETON) and the quality of the image may suffer because of how much I had to fucking compress it (Zanmu's presence alone was enough to make the computer lose all of it's desire and motivation to export the drawing of her lmao), but I have been hacking at this piece for a while now, plus I need to learn when to call it quits when it comes to drawings). Also as I was fixing up the hands there was one spot where I forgot to clean up with the sketch and I can't fucking unsee that now and it's going to fucking bother me until I fix it but fixing it requires going back and putting my computer through hell so yeah.

So yeah, that's about all I have to say with this drawing, it was fun but also a nightmare lol

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 | Part 13

He'll show you it was worth it.

Tags/Warnings: Game Designer!Jungkook, Brat Tamer!Jungkook, kinda himbo!Jungkook, Non Idol AU, established relationship, minor angst, he's in love ew [Tags will be different for every part!]

Length: 1.1k words

Callob with @euphoricfilter ! 💜

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-> Masterlist

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You arrive about half an hour later, and you can't help but sit up straighter as Jungkook pulls up into the driveway of the Airbnb he's rented.

Up until now you've not seen any pictures of it at all- Jungkook being adamant on making sure that you don't ruin the surprise along the way, distracting you whenever you'd bring up the topic at all. So to say that the surprise definitely landed would be an understatement, as you look at the small but very fancy looking house he's currently parking the car at.

A lady walks out, flowery print on her dress while she smiles happily, visibly excited as you and Jungkook exit the car. "Oh you must be the young couple-" She beams, walking towards you with a bit of a limp- probably from old age catching up to her. He gives Jungkook and you a hug before she leans back, looking you up and down. "Well, you weren't lying when you said your girl is pretty!" She compliments, and you have the urge to hide behind your boyfriend for a good moment- only saved by said man taking over quickly, telling Maria to go inside as you both take your stuff with you.

Of course he argues as you want to take your bag- taking it himself instead, absolutely not admitting to any form of struggle at all.

"So! I stocked up the fridge, there's wine too- and I baked something small, just because I had the time left over." She giggles, as Jungkook sets the bags down near the front door for now, walking up to the elderly woman that's standing in the middle of the large interior. "Oh, and I asked my husband about the carpet, and he told me to tell you not to worry about it-" She says a bit more serious. "-Apparently you can just wash these kinds of stains out, no worries there." She winks towards Jungkook, who nods, hoping you don't hear the hidden implications of that statement-

though the glare you send him makes it clear that you do.

"So! I reckon you have the general layout still in mind- treat it like your own home as long as you here." She offers with a gentle hand on Jungkook's shoulder. "Go wild, you're only young once! Ah, and before I forget-" She perks up, before she pulls Jungkook away to whisper something into his ear- something apparently very important, because he looks oddly serious as he nods towards her, the woman patting his back in encouragement of something you're not sure of.

You're busy exploring the holiday home for a good moment, when Jungkook brings the last of your luggage into the bedroom, balcony door opened as you stand on it to look outside. "So? Do you like it?" He asks, standing behind you now, warm body pressed against your back while his chin leans on your shoulder.

"It's.. Jungkook this must've been so fucking expensive, what the hell?" You worry. "And also there's so many towels in the bathroom-" You begin, making him laugh.

"Oh yeah, I told maria you're kinda messy- and since I'm planning on catching up to my highscore while we're here you'll definitely need them-" He begins, making you turn around and smack his pecks- hard. "Ow!" He whines playfully, pouting at you.

"What do you mean, you told Maria about our sex life?!" You complain, and he shrugs.

"Hey I'm pretty proud of our-" He begins, but your glare shuts him up. "Listen, I didn't know if there was like.. a cleaning fine if we mess up stuff too much. And I wanna love you a lot while we're here, so I wanted to make sure I thought of everything!" He explains himself, and you just run a hand over your face. Well, what did you expect anyways?

This is Jungkook, after all. This man coded a full on sex-diary app just for the two of you.

"You know I've been wondering.." You say, leaning your arms over his shoulders, back pressed against the edge of the balcony as he leans in closer, gaze hooded now. "...what spot are you in right now?" You ask, and his face immediately morphs, eyes sharp as his tongue presses into the inside of his cheek.

"..maybe third." He mumbles, before he pulls you back inside by your waist sitting on the edge of the soft bed with you on his lap, eyes hungry while his hands travel beneath your shirt. "But I'll sure be first again once this trip has finished." He tells you like a decision made, no arguments allowed.

"You sure about that?" You wonder, pushing him against his chest until he's left laying on the mattress below, your hands pressed into the softness.

"Absolutely." He says, before pulling your face towards him, licking up all remnants of your strawberry lipbalm and sweet icecream treat you had earlier before arriving. Your hips grind on him without any shame, sounds that escape him singing of his own growing arousal as he lets his fingers dip between the fabric of your pants and your skin. They know exactly where they want to go, moving around until he's got a full hold of your ass, only removing his palms from beneath your jeans to slap back down with open palms.

You move to throw your shirt over your head- his fingers eager to unhook your bra for you, when he sees them.

His movements stutter a bit, face showing utter devastation as his round eyes find yours with worry. "You changed them." He says out of breath, quietly, and you look down at your chest, noticing that yes- you did change the jewelry.

"Oh.. yeah." You admit, making his hands gently hold your tits just to run his thumb over the two little wings on each side of your nipples. They're cute- very fitting, and he wonders where you bought them. But they're also not the little silver hearts you both always wear ever since your second big date.

"...I'll make you love me again." He promises, pulling you down again to kiss you, before he rolls you both over, pressing eager kisses to your neck.

"I still love you-" You argue with a giggle, removing his shirt to be met with the familiar metal jewelry you used to wear as well before you changed them out of pettiness.

"Then I'll make you love me the same as you did before I was a jerk." He urges, pushing you up on the bed a little to properly climb on it, knees dipping down into the soft bedding below you.

"I do that too!" You laugh, and he playfully bites at your collarbone, before looking at you with a gaze made of thousands of lifetimes worth of affection.

"Then I'll make you love me even more." He offers, while you hold his cheeks in your palms, equally as struck by cupid's arrow.

"Impossible.." You say, pulling him closer. "But you're welcome to try."

[alienartfriend]

today i give you squid. tomorrow? who knows...

preliminary/concept design for my mindflayer (ulitharid), sovereign, she/it pronounds. <3

gonna play around w a lot of the elements but clothes are a placeholder entirely, just wanted to put something on her that didn't cover up a lot of the body. coloration and markings based off the coconut octopus!

rambling about her under the cut

my wife came to me a few months ago saying, "i want to do a side campaign and i'd really love to DM for someone whose character gets turned into a mindflayer session 1." i IMMEDIATELY responded, "i'm your man let's do this i wanna be a baby squid."

i went in to prep once we had the group solidified going, "yeah i'm just playing a normal human fighter. (: his name is john he's gonna be a battlemaster. (: you know normal stuff." and even with everyone being like "???? that is so not your M.O." the other players didn't really question it, except our friend wren who immediately clocked me

and then everyone lost their mind when the transformation happned LMAO

obviously she is very depowered, to be in line with the other player characters. mechnically she is a way of the astral self monk, but all her abilities and ki and all spells gotten through feats are flavored as her psionics.

she was transformed using an experimental tadpole so she didn't like, overwrite or "kill" john the way other mindflayers are typically written as killing the personality of their host body so much as she's the tucked away parts of him brought out. he's as much a part of her now as she was part of him before the transformation. the very condensed reasoning is that he was hand-selected so it was seen as a "waste" to totally overwrite him. the experimental nature of her transformation is also why she's so forthright with her emotions.

(i was kinda playing it as… john was a trans woman who hadn't allowed himself to come to that conclusion yet, to make the transformation both an allegory for transition and also making her literally trans. if i'm not fucking around with gender expression in a DND character it's not me. this is based a little bit off my own experiences of seeing my pre-transition self almost like a second person who is now part of me but isn't, like, me.)

and she's very happy to be alive! very full of love for herself and her party! very unlike your typical mindflayer! very much does not understand why the rest of the party is so horrified by her! she's keeping their tadpoles from transforming them (bg3-style) but she doesn't understand why they don't want to be transformed! john hated being what he was, so why don't they want to experience the joy she's feeling? we have only done the first session so she'll figure out in time that it wouldn't bring them joy the way it brought her joy. but for now, like any good cephalopod, she's full of curiosity and life.

she technically doesn’t have a name name yet, but she’s going by sovereign because the thrall that was assigned to follow her around calls her “my sovereign” and she’s like "well that is close enough to a name for now i suppose."

[sunhowler-art]

was inspired by this post to design some hlvrai warrior cats!! i'm honestly shocked it took me 2 years to make a warriors au for it, i love making warriors aus...

some basic info below the cut!

sooo my general idea (it's pretty hazy right now. forgive me) for this au is that songfoot (benrey), nectarbrook (darnold), goldenberry (tommy), galeheart (coomer), scorchtail (bubby), and snakestar (gman) are all from the same clan... i'm between plain ol' thunderclan or a custom clan called mesaclan. i'm probably gonna go with thunderclan because i don't wanna bother with making other clans and lore and stuff LOL. there's some kind of threat outside of the clans that's affecting the environment a la the beavers in arc 4. it's something that starclan definitely caused, whether deliberately or accidentally, i dunno. main point is that snakestar sends songfoot, nectarbrook, goldenberry, galeheart, and scorchtail off on a journey to track down the problem and take care of it. while they're gone, the external threat kills snakestar and he spends all his time being a textbook unhelpful and cryptic starclan cat who just kind of makes things worse. as per a snakestar prophecy, the gang picks up gordon along the way, a kittypet whose owners abandoned her and she's been mostly unsuccessfully fending for herself since. oh and frostpaw (forzen) is part of bloodclan. bloodclan tries and fails to kill the gang, despite frostpaw's best efforts (he kidnapped goldenberry's bird friend, sunny).

some lil character facts and such:

gordon is an ex kittypet. she had a very very cozy and spoiled life up until her twolegs got evicted or something and tossed her out onto the streets. she wasn't out there long before the clan cats found her, and thank god for that, because she sucks at being a survivalist. she is fairly smart though, bringing a fresh perspective and problem solving skills to the group. she is consistently freaked the fuck out by clan cat culture, and the clan cats have fun gaslighting her about it. the only cat who doesn't play along with that is goldenberry, mostly because he doesn't really think its that funny. gordon picks up survival skills from the clan cats fairly quickly, but they still call her soft all the time. classic clan cat anti-kittypet prejudice.

songfoot is the warrior code's biggest fan. not because he really fully believes in its utility, mostly because he loves bossing people around. you can find him stalking around thunderclan camp looking out for anyone doing minor infractions. god forbid you take too much fresh kill from the pile, you'll never hear the end of it. he can't really do much about it though, because snakestar finds him vaguely offputting. his signature stare doesn't help much. his fellow warriors generally like him despite all his strange quirks. songfoot has some kind of starclan-given power a la The Three... my thought is that his vocalizations have supernatural mind-altering properties. it's kinda like sweet voice, but a hiss can make others mad, a purr can make others calm, a screech can stun them, etc. without fail. he's vaguely aware of this power, and he doesn't really use it for things starclan would like him to. he kinda does his own thing.

he's a fairly competent hunter and fighter, but he's generally physically non-confrontational. during battle, he prefers to slink along in the shadows and wait to strike.

during the journey, he loves following gordon along. initially it's because of his deeply embedded distrust of kittypets, but he realizes pretty quickly that he's interested in her in a different sense, one that really frustrates and confuses him... a warrior shouldn't wanna be mates with a kittypet. that's so beyond wrong. he's gotta do everything he can to annoy gordon into leaving the group so he doesn't have to confront his feelings about her (one of these tactics involves him insisting on calling her "gordie," saying it sounds much more suitable for a kittypet). unfortunately for the both of them, that doesn't work. what's worse-- his powers don't seem to work on her for whatever reason. they continue to butt heads for far too long before either of them opens up about how they actually feel. (it takes gordon far longer to admit to herself that she's feeling that way than it does for songfoot, but eventually it clicks for her.)

("song" comes from sweet voice, and "foot" comes from... y'know. but i imagine the in-universe explanation is that he spends a lot of time padding around and watching people. the name from the post that inspired this one-- sweetsong-- is perfect but i didn't wanna copy it. i really like the name songfoot though, i think it's really cute.)

nectarbrook is thunderclan's beloved medicine cat. sweet and silly, she has an affinity for collecting and mixing herbs to create new tinctures. they don't always work exactly how she wants them to, but they never have strictly negative effects, so... not too bad! she spends most of her time on the journey trying and failing to be a mediator, and cowering in fear while everyone else does the scary (and often stupid) work. she's got an intelligence to rival gordon's, and she's one of the only cats gordon fully gets along with.

("nectar" is about the closest warrior cats prefix to "soda," and "brook" just kinda sounds nice as a suffix to nectar. it's another liquid-related word too.)

frostpaw is a bloodclan apprentice. he's well beyond apprentice age, but he's pretty incompetent at warrior duties and such, so it's taking him a while. he just wants to graduate.

i imagine he used to be a cushy kittypet with dreams of being one of those cool cat gang members he sees outside every now and again. he's way in over his head.

("frost" comes from forzen. obviously. i initially envisioned him as a warrior named frostjaw. i don't know why i chose that suffix other than it sounding nice. but then i remembered the "i just wanna graduate" thing, and thought it would be funny to make him an apprentice.)

goldenberry is a highly skilled warrior and one of snakestar's kits. he has a very unassuming demeanor, often appearing clumsy or head-in-the-clouds, but he's one of thunderclan's most precise and deadly fighters. his long windclan-like limbs allow for quick movement. like his father, he strikes like a snake. despite his prowess, he doesn't like fighting at all, and he would much rather hang around camp with his friend songfoot and take care of menial tasks like an apprentice or test out new herb tinctures for nectarbrook. he's very helpful and kind, if not a bit blunt. before snakestar died, he had goldenberry in mind as the next deputy as soon as galeheart finally kicked the bucket. he only didn't make him the deputy in the first place because he was an apprentice at the time.

("golden" comes from tommy's signature yellow, as well as his father's perception of him as highly important. "berry" comes from his general sillyness and his affinity for nectarbrook's various little treats.)

galeheart is a gregarious senior warrior and thunderclan's beloved deputy. despite his small stature, he's incredibly strong and overzealous. he loves his clan to death and he loves fighting even more, often dragging everyone into unnecessary squabbles just for the thrill of it. his loud, booming voice commands everyone's attention. he's quite old and really should be in the elders' den at this point, but his love for the warrior life keeps him going despite it all, and he's still in great shape. snakestar isn't quite so satisfied with galeheart's behavior, but there's not much he can do about that, given everyone else loves galeheart to bits. snakestar partially send him on that journey in hopes he would die already, but he has an unwavering spirit and he can and will outlive snakestar.

galeheart and gordon get along for the most part, but gordon is a little scared of him.

("gale" comes from coomer's general energy. he is a strong gust of wind to me. it also brings to mind the color white, which... is what galeheart is! "heart" also comes from his Vibes, mostly his fighting spirit.)

scorchtail is yet another old coot who should be getting ticks picked off of him by apprentices, but his stubbornness keeps him in his warrior position. he's not even particularly good at being a warrior-- he's cowardly and his battle strategy can best be described as the real life version of button-mashing. still, he's far too prideful to retire to the elders' den. he tends to follow galeheart around, since they grew up together and share similar positions in the clan. he's very antagonistic towards gordon, even moreso than songfoot. he has a special hatred of kittypets, seeing their lifestyle as an embarrassment.

("scorch" comes from bubby's association with fire as well as his sassy disposition, and "tail" comes from the tip of his tail looking burnt.)

snakestar is a starclan cat who was previously thunderclan's leader. he's generally cold and and analytical, and not much of a fighter, preferring to make others do his bidding. this behavior carried over very well to starclan, where he spends all his time being appropriately cryptic and unhelpful. he holds a lot of love for his one son, goldenberry, who he's always watching over. he doesn't care much for his other previous clanmates. he visits gordon in her dreams often to tell her vague things about her "part to play" and how important she is and all that. he arbitrarily decided that she was the subject of a prophecy, for the most part. i like to think starclan just makes shit up for fun. i think maybe one of his ancestors visited gordon when she was a kitten and made some kind of deal with her. i dunno. i'm in the very early stages of this au.

("snake" comes from gman's general vibes, but it's also an allusion to snakes in mythology [particularly abrahamic myth] being sleazy dealmakers with ill intent. before he was a leader, his suffix was "sight," alluding to his tendency to sit back and watch rather than run into battle.)

thanks for reading my long-ass ramblings, if you did! :-P idk if i'll actually do anything with any of this, but it's fun to think about...

[lemmeurs]

okay. here is my 1600+ words essay on raphael. if anyone would like to adress anything from it, please do but keep it civil! i am so damn invested in this topic, i wanna hear everyone's thoughts

raphael rant

(DISCLAIMER: this essay was not written in order to justify Raphael as a character or any of his actions or intentions. i am completely skipping any point of morality, whether my own or just in general, i simply wanted to somehow try and write my feelings and thoughts down while looking at the whole thing from an objective point of view, analyzing the design of the game, the plotline and his whole persona and just.. idk i wanted to see whether anyone else felt the way i do because i have been going INSANE over this for the past few days)

hi. i have come here today to express my thoughts and feelings on Raphael the cambion and "his final act". this is being randomly and spontaneously written in my notes app so please excuse the absolute chaos that this essay will be (no i won't be rereading it, fuck it we ball) (CONTAINS BG3 ACT III SPOILERS!!)

first of all — i am so beyond devastated that he gets killed. and not just by anyone, he gets killed BY US. THE PLAYER. WE AS THE PLAYER DELIVER THE FINAL BLOW THAT ENDS HIS EXISTENCE. not only is that very upsetting (because come on, hot devil man, obviously i don't wanna kill him??) but it also makes me feel so.. awful. like, everything about this is wrong and i hate the fact that there is no other option.

because let's review the course of the story in the house of hope:

- we barge into his house unannounced, uninvited, while he is absent

- we invade his privacy by entering what's his own personal space (yes, i know he stole it from Hope in the first place but that is not the point here — whatever his devil business is, it's still HIS, you know?? like he is a devil, this is the kinda stuff they do and honestly? i didn't want to stick my nose into it. but obviously i did because tHe sToRy etc etc. but still, it was his own thing that basically doesn't affect the player in any way so TECHNICALLY you dont have to free Hope. you can, if your character's moral compass advises so, but it doesn't affect the main plot.)

- we then proceed to walk around his house freely, lie to his archivist in order to look at the stuff we're already planning to steal

- we meet his personal incubus whom then we have the chance to either use or kill (i fought Haarlep so that's the point of view i'm looking from at this here, in which case i also robbed their corpse) and we rob his safe. and his whole bedroom actually. we read his journals. we use his bath.

- then obviously we go and rob his entire archive which includes all of his most precious possessions

- upon stealing, we slaughter every single creature in his house, fighting our way through to get to Hope's prison

- we then kill the two spectators he has guarding her (they were probably super hard to obtain??) and we just. free his prisoner. because yeah, that is the right thing to do, IM NOT SAYING THAT'S WRONG, but let's say we skip morality for a second, let's just focus on the fact that we have no ulterior motives in freeing Hope. we just wanna mess with HIS business because why not since we're already ruining all of his plans.

- and then we have the audacity to try to leave before he comes back and act like we were never there while his entire house is turned to shit.

now let's look at this list again but this time keep in mind the fact that at that point, he hasn't done A SINGLE THING to us. like, he has never harmed us, he treated us with (let's call it) "respect" and politeness, he was fine with our hesitation towards his deal and was willing to give us time. he was never aggressive towards us, he was never "the enemy".

and now you can say - okay wtf is wrong with you, that man literally admitted his intention of conquering the worlds, enslaving all mortals and basically becoming the tyrant of all while also most likely stealing everyone's souls for his own pleasure.

yes, he did, and yes, that's bad. but just because those were his intentions does not give us the right to do all that shit to him AND THEN KILL HIM. AS IF WE HAD THE RIGHT TO SERVE JUSTICE HERE?? YEAH HIS PLANS ARE EVIL BUT IT IS NOT UP TO US TO DICTATE HIS CONSEQUENCES. HIS PLANS WOULD ONLY SUCCEED IF WE GAVE HIM THE CROWN IN THE END, SO JUST- DON'T?? LIKE DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. IM NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY HIS ACTIONS OR INTENTIONS, BY ALL MEANS. i'm just trying to express how weird this all made me feel because not everyone decides to play as the selfless, lawfully good hero of all, protecting the world from all evil, ever! this is roleplay, afterall!

and them obviously he comes home. he is furious, as he should be. but mostly he's betrayed because, as weird as it may be, he trusted us. he admitted to growing "quite fond of us, in his own way". he thought we were some weird sort of.. acquaintances? friends maybe? (again, i know most of our relationship with him is mostly just him manipulating us but still, it's quite clear he wasn't expecting this betrayal) and we just barged in there and disrespected him in the worst way possible. so obviously he wants to kill us now and obviously we can kill him since he's just a boss in a game. and that's what we do. and then.. that's it. we're the good guys. we ruined a man's whole career because we needed one of his toys, murdered him in his own house and just left. and we're supposed to be the good guys.

i think the source of my problem is that Raphael is never introduced as evil. we don't meet him as the big bad villain that we know we'll have to kill at some point. i swear to god, at the beginning of act 3 i trusted that man way more than i trusted the Emperor and i was so close to agreeing to his deal just because i felt like i could trust him and he would keep me safe (for some reason, let's blame it on those wonderful eyes of his).

we meet him so early on in the game and he follows through all 3 acts, making it feel like he's gonna be some key character that will matter in the end - turns out, no! we were just supposed to rob and kill him. and that's literally it. talk about wasted potential.

when i first met him i got the "unofficial narrator" vibes from him, as if he was only supposed to seem intimidating and "evil" but you could sense there was so much more to him and i was dying to see how his story would unwrap. i was so ready for a redemption act, a plot twist, anything. man was i disappointed. because how cool would it be if he turned out to be a part of the "gather your allies" quest?? imagine having him as an ally and an ACTUAL friend in the end??

and don't even GET ME STARTED on what the orb in Helsik's shop shows you after you kill him. the fact that he's not even dead yet but ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED BY MEPHISTOPHELES. ABOUT TO BE DEVOURED. BY HIS FATHER. HE. WHAT. THATS THE ENDING HE GETS. and we are the ones that served it to him when he got RIGHTFULLY pissed at us for doing all that shit to him. and im supposed to just be fine with it?? i'm supposed to feel like this was the ending he deserved and i did the right thing??

god what i would give for a different way. idk. striking a new deal with him. saving him from Mephistopheles afterwards. REDEMPTION ARC?? ANYTHING?? NO? THATS IT THEN?

now i know that you dont HAVE to kill him, you can either agree to his deal or just ignore him and the house of hope altogether. but that just defeats the whole purpose of this character?? agreeing to his deal and giving him the crown at the end results in a pretty bad ending and ignoring him means that yeah, you don't have to kill him but you also don't get anything else from him anymore. like he has no other endings, just either death or his big evil plans. and for a game with so many choices and so much branching, it just feels almost weird that that's all he is there for. then why do we meet him in act 1? why does he follow through to act 2? (yeah, astarion, i know, but i cant help but feel like they could have put a completely different way to read his runes there if they didnt want Raphael specifically to help us) WHY ARE WE ALREADY SO USED TO HIM BY THE TIME HE PRESENTS HIS DEAL? if the whole hammer business is the only thing he's in the game for, then we may have as well been introduced to him only in act 3 during the whole Voss quest. but we knew him already and he felt like some sort of a.. friend lets call it? idk. this just does not make sense to me and makes me genuinely so sad.

as i'm writing this, it's the third day after ive completed the house of hope and i literally can not think about anything else. like my mind is just going on and on about this and i cant get over it!! im actually GRIEVING a fictional devil and i dont know what to do with all these.. thoughts.

so now i actually genuinely MISS THAT MF. I MISS HIM. GIVE HIM BACK. I WASN'T DONE AND NEITHER WAS HE. PLEASE PLEASE LARIAN I CAN FIX HIM—

okay i think thats it for now. idk i wrote this so chaotically i already forgot what i said and didnt say. im just. im feeling so many things. im so fucking sad and mad that this is how it ends. rest in peace hot devil man i will never forget you.

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 8 - Is this the famous honeymoon phase?!

Summary: Mina breaks Bakugou. Bakugou does his best not to break her neck as a Thank You. Kirishima goes overboard. The Menace enjoys every single minute of the drama. Katsuki has “weird” thoughts. It must be the weather.

Warnings: Swear words, Katsuki using the word “bitch, Mina brings Y/N some questionable underwear.

FIRST CHAPTER MASTER LIST

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Kats, do you mind helping me into a sitting position? This is getting kinda awkward.” You mumble quietly.

“Oh, sorry.” Katsuki jumps off the floor and he’s next to you in a matter of seconds.

“Did Katsuki just say the word sorry?” Mina stares at the two of you as Katsuki tries his best to put you down in the most comfortable position.

“His mom said the same when he first heard it.” You smile at your boyfriend proudly. He only rolls his eyes. “So let’s see what you got, entertain me.” You grin at the pink girl.

“Katsuki, I love her. I can take her if you ever get bored. I ain’t picky, you know.” Mina winks at you, while Katsuki sends daggers with his eyes towards his old friend. It really shouldn’t be so endearing to see your partner like this, but man, seeing him being so protective over you just makes your heart flip. Is it too soon to tell him to marry you?

“You touch my woman with one fucking finger and I’ll make sure no one will be able to look at your ugly, burnt face for the rest of your life.” Katsuki spits, clearly aggravated.

Yup. One day, you’ll marry this man.

“Kats, calm the fuck down, I wanna see my presents!” You whine in a high-pitched voice, just to take a piss out of Katsuki.

“Stop being so cute, it’s really fucking irritating.” He mumbles, but he finally sits down next to you. Mina comes closer with her backpack and plops down on the floor in front of you two, acting like a YouTuber filming an actual HAUL video.

“Ladies and gents and everyone in between, welcome to my haul video! I’m pro hero Pinky and I love shopping!” Mina grins; you are already in love with this weird pink woman.

“Yay!” You yell with your head on Katsuki’s shoulders. He acts like your loud voice just annoyed the shit out of him but he’s also smiling, so it can’t be that bad.

“First of all… I got you the brand new skincare range made by Creati!” Mina yells happily, clearly proud of her old classmate. Pro Hero Creati is a big name in the industry; not just in the hero world but also in retail; as Creati needs a lot of knowledge to be able to create her own weapons and support items, she decided to use that knowledge to come up with brand new products for the common folk - there isn’t a single thing in the stores that doesn’t have a Creati version of it and you usually get luxurious quality for really cheap prices. There are a few things she doesn’t do cheap though; jewelry and skincare products.

“That’s half of my monthly salary there.” You gawk at the pink girl but she waves you off.

“I got it for free. No worries. I’ll show Katsuki how to use them properly later.” She winks at the blonde who only rolls his eyes at that. “Speaking about merch… tada!” Mina takes out an absolutely adorable pajama set, all pink like the girl herself; there is an abstract pro hero Pinky logo on the top and the small shorts have the pattern of her hero costume.

“She’s not wearing that in my bed.” Katsuki retorts angrily but there is a tiny smile on his face behind that ugly scowl.

“Well, this is the best I could do on such a short notice so I kindly ask you to shut the fuck up and enjoy the show.” Mina gives Katsuki a scornful look.

“Tch…”

“So then! Underwear!” She perks up, ignoring Katsuki’s annoyed grumbling. ”I managed to get you some really cute ones! Some are my own designs but I got you some really sexy ones as well, just in case!”

Well, maybe drinking water right now wasn’t Katsuki’s greatest idea as he sprays it all over the coffee table as he sees the absolutely gorgeous lace underwear that barely hides anything. It also doesn’t help that it’s black with an orange hem.

“Please tell me it comes with a bra.” You sigh and it doesn’t take the pink girl long to find the matching bra in her backpack; if you can even call that transparent thing a bra, really.

“I’ll fucking kill you.” Bakugou yells with a red face. “I’ll murder you and no one will find your body I swear to fuckin All Might.”

“Don’t worry darling, I brought some condoms as well because safety first, you know.” Mina fucking winks and you can literally see the steam coming out of Katsuki’s ears at this point.

If the situation wasn’t hilarious enough, Kirishima decides to barge in through the door right at this moment and the first thing he sees is Mina holding sexy underwear in the air while Katsuki is having a brain fart moment.

“Do I want to know?”

“Honestly, babe? No.” Mina grins at the redhead who takes a deep breath and makes his way towards you.

“Hey, lovely, how are you feeling?” He kneels in front of you, completely ignoring the awkwardness in the room. If Katsuki haven’t had enough reasons to murder the whole city, now he does; Kirishima goes all protective over you as he takes in the view in front of him and strokes your cheeks lovingly, his eyes full of worry.

“The fuck are you touching my woman for? Honestly, get a fucking grip!” Katsuki yells again and by the look of it, he’s about to reach his limits.

“You know I can’t stop touching people when I worry!” Kirishima yells back with teary eyes; Mina only sighs in the background, probably knowing how true that statement is.

“Yeah, I realized it when you almost fucking kissed me a few months ago, you fucking weirdo.” Katsuki retorts, sitting down on the floor, out of energy.

“Well, at least I’m not kissing her. Right?” Kirishima says it like that’s an appropriate answer and you can see Katsuki’s anger coming back with full blast (no pun intended).

“That will be the last fucking thing you do alive, best friend or not.”

If someone could die from a death stare, Kirishima would be nothing but ground beef. Ahh, you love your boyfriend so much.

“I got you some cute socks too.” Mina mumbles sadly as all the attention went to Kirishima in the last few minutes.

“I love cute socks, show me!” You ignore the two bickering men completely to keep your eyes on the grumpy pink lady.

Eventually, Bakugou runs out of swear words and Mina runs out of random stuff; there were hoodies, shirts, joggers, obviously all of them some kind of merch; even Deku decided to send some fluffy Deku socks over with Mina when he heard about her getting a little “survivor pack” ready. Obviously, Katsuki wasn’t too happy about his girlfriend having so much pro hero merch that’s not his but Mina made sure Katsuki understands that her options were quite limited at 8PM.

“Ahh, I forgot, I bought you ear plugs in case Mr. Grumpy gets annoying.” Mina hands you the last thing from the bag; needless to say you have a really hard time restraining yourself to not put them in when the explosive blonde starts yelling again.

~•💥•~

“Stop eating my leftovers and get the fuck out! My woman needs to rest!” Katsuki yells out of the blue. The two idiots quickly stuff their mouths with the leftover snacks you two left on the coffee table then they run towards the main entrance, like eating Katsuki’s food is a sin; and to be fair, it is, because he made that shitty food for his woman, not for these two bozos. He kinda hoped there will be some left in case she gets hungry again. Oh well, Katsuki can just make another batch if that happens, even at 11PM.

Okay, what the fuck is going on in his stupid head, this is domestic and lovey-dovey as fuck.

He loves it - Hates it, he means. Absolutely hates it. Yeah. Fuck this shit.

Katsuki is so deep in his own head he doesn’t even react when Eijirou runs back into the living room to leave a kiss on Y/N’s forehead to “get well quicker.”

That guy needs to get a grip. Or get a girlfriend. Or both. A guy like him should be surrounded by women; he is kind, affectionate and even though Katsuki doesn’t think he swings “that way” he’s certainly sure his best friend is really fucking hot.

To be fair, chicks like bad boys. Or at least Katsuki thinks so. Maybe Eijirou is too good for them. It also doesn’t help the situation that Katsuki chases away every single woman who comes close to his best friend if they don’t fit Katsuki’s criteria and one of the criteria is for them to be able to get along with him, but most women just start crying when he gets moody around them for the first time; and no, he is not being sexist, he also made men cry before. It’s just who he is, what can he do?

“You know you just did “the Deku” and blabbed all of that out loud?” Y/N giggles adorably from her spot on the sofa.

Adorably? Okay what the actual fuck is wrong with him today?

“Shut the fuck up and keep flapping around like a dying fish.” Katsuki mutters under his nose which only makes his woman laugh even louder; is she even sick? Honestly, she might be just faking it to force Katsuki to be an affectionate, worrying boyfriend. Not like he is… worried. Or anything like that. Fuck no.

“Hey! You can’t just say that to a sick person!” Y/N does her best to act offended, but it all goes to shit when her lips move upwards. Oh, how much he fucking loves this shitty woman.

“Act more sick, then.” He grumbles back while he rolls his eyes aggressively.

“These… are my last… words… to… you…” Y/N stutters dramatically, her arm flapping on the side as she tries to hold them out for Katsuki. “Find someone else, when I go… I want you to be happy, honey bun.” She stutters, barely concealing her laughter. Katsuki takes her hand and for his surprise, he doesn’t mind playing along for a bit.

“Fuck that, bitch, if you die I’m going after you, you can’t get rid of me that easily. We will haunt all our enemies until we get bored then have ghost-sex on Deku’s bed.”

“Fuck, that was so romantic and hot Katsuki, I love you so fucking much.” Y/N mumbles with teary eyes and a shit rating grin; funny combination that is, but Katsuki swears he fell in love all over again with that stupid face. Katsuki’s own face becomes a mess of emotions; fondness, love, lust, probably a bit of anger for no reason at all; all obvious and easy to read as he pulls Y/N up from the sofa without a single word and makes his way towards the bathroom with her in his arms.

“Hey! What are you doing?!” Y/N giggles, but doesn’t try to wiggle her way out of his hold.

“I’ll brush your teeth and then we are going to bed. You are clearly delirious.” Katsuki fucking giggles as he puts Y/N down on the toilet seat. Maybe he’s the delirious one. Who knows.

“Says the guy who wanted to have ghost-sex on his best friend’s bed.”

“He ain’t my best friend!” Katsuki yells defensively. “Deku is… Deku.”

“Yeah. Deku is Deku. And I am me. And we all love you.” She giggles again, clearly too tired to even think about her words anymore. Katsuki is concerned.

“You sure you don’t need medical attention?” He mumbles, crouching right in front of his loved one like a worried mother. Y/N only smiles, her hand coming up to put a stray lock of hair behind his ear. The motion is slow and Y/N needs to use a lot of strength to be able to finish her task, but she manages.

“I’m just happy to be here with you. I hated the fact that I won’t see you for a whole week, feel free to call me a clingy fuck but I’m speaking my truth.” She giggles and oh my god, Katsuki uses all his willpower to not kiss her senseless right now.

“My clingy fucking woman.” Bakugou grins and leaves a kiss on her forehead before moving towards the sink to put toothpaste on Y/N’s new, glittery pink toothbrush. It’s an abomination. “Try to hold it.” Katsuki mutters and stares at Y/N for a minute as she tries to brush her teeth with zero strength but he gets way to impatient and snags the toothbrush back to finish the job.

“To shtrooong!” Y/N tries to tell him, but Katsuki is on a mission; the germs needs to fucking die.

Y/N looks traumatized.

~•💥•~

Okay, so… now what?!

Katsuki is utterly confused by what to do with himself. He’s standing by the bed, Y/N already hogged all the covers to herself and Katsuki… well, Katsuki is not sure where to sleep, to be honest.

Here’s the thing; yes, they’ve slept in the same bed before but… they were kinda forced to do that except when he was quirked, but again, that was a special occasion. This time, they have all the rights to sleep in separate beds.

He can just take the couch. He certainly can. Katsuki moves towards the door but then he changes his mind and comes back to stand awkwardly by the leg of the bed.

He can. But he doesn’t want to.

He should be around if something goes wrong during the night, right?

What if she needs to use the toilet? What if she gets thirsty? What is she chokes on her own saliva because her body forgets how to swallow?!

Katsuki makes another steps towards the bed, but then…

He changes his mind.

Again.

Maybe she wants to be alone right now. It needs to be really fucking embarrassing for her to be in this situation and maybe she needs some space. Katsuki might want to stay with her but maybe he would do more harm than good; she might need to force her body to do stuff for her to get better. Maybe if he does everything for her she won’t be able to get better.

Katsuki makes his way towards the door again, now with more confidence, but his confidence wavers as he stares at Y/N from so far away; she looks heartbroken and sad as he puts his hands on the doorknob… ahh, fuck.

“Where are you going?” She mumbles in between two sniffles. Fucking sniffles. What the fuck.

“Why you snifflin’.” Katsuki grumbles under his nose; needless to say there is no fucking way he leaves this room today after this shit. Call him weak and manipulable, he doesn’t give a flying fuck.

“It’s a bit cold, Katsuki.” She says, large puppy eyes staring into his soul.

“Want me to put the heating on?”

“No…” she mumbles with an offended pout.

“Want a hot water bottle then? An electric blanket? Wanna go to Malibu?”

Yes, Katsuki is absolutely taking the piss right now, but man, it’s so much fun to see her struggle. Y/N pouts even harder.

“I want my own hot water bottle.” Y/N murmurs and points at him angrily. “That one there runs hot all the time, I’m quite sure it will do a good enough job.” Oh, Katsuki can see how much she struggles to keep her face neutral. Oh, there it is, the small smile in the corner of her mouth. Oh damn, Katsuki is so whipped.

“I am not a fucking furnace, you fuck!” Katsuki yells, fake-offended.

“No, you are a hot water bottle, silly.” She doesn’t even try to hide her grin anymore and Katsuki is really proud to see his own shit eating grin on his girlfriend’s pretty face. He never understood the whole “other half” thing before, but it makes so much more sense now.

“If this is supposed to be a sexy role play or something, it’s not working, princess.” Katsuki raises a single eyebrow and he gets an annoyed eye roll in exchange.

“I would prefer to be able to move my limbs for that action, thank you very much.” Y/N answers with a straight face and needless to say, Katsuki’s face is as red as a ripe tomato.

“Fuck you, you human-sized burrito.” Katsuki yells but makes his way to the other side of the bed, albeit begrudgingly.

“Not today, sir.” The shit eating grin is back and Katsuki is not a big fan of this one specifically.

“You are such a menace.” Katsuki pulls the covers off her with an angry grab and Y/N yells profanities as the cold air hits her stomach. “Stop yelling and let me in!” Katsuki laughs, the sound loud and so disgustingly happy it makes him want to vomit.

“Hurry up, it’s freezing! … hey, don’t go away from me! That’s not where the hot water bottle goes, sir!” She whines and while it’s certainly a little bit annoying, Katsuki can’t help but feel butterflies in his stomach. This is the first time Bakugou Katsuki feels needed and loved and it’s absolutely exhilarating.

“Stop being so needy, what’s wrong with you!” He grumbles anyway, faking annoyance just cuz why not.

“Just cuddle me, you angry Pomeranian!” Y/N whines again, her weak arms trying their best to pull him closer.

“What did you just call me?!” Katsuki rolls to his side to face Y/N head on; what he didn’t expect is the sudden urge that comes over him from the sudden closeness; he wants to bury his face into her hair so fucking much, kiss her neck until it leaves a mark, kiss every single crevice and scar until they’re pink and sensitive… “This calls for a punishment.” Bakugou mumbles but instead of a punishment he just does everything he wanted to do in the first place.

If Bakugou Katsuki says kisses are a punishment, then they are. Fuck everyone who says it otherwise.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I’m so sorry for being away for so long. There is one, personal post right before this one if you want to read it, where I tell you about some of my struggles, but only read it if you really want to know. It’s all good now (almost.)

- I absolutely love how Katsuki acts in this one. It’s still his edgy self but he feels safe enough to actually act upon his real feelings and AHHHHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! 😭

- Btw I swear I’m not plotting some weird polyamory thing in this ficc, Kirishima is just affectionate like that. He will have his own reader in a few weeks who works in the coffee shop next door so don’t worry I won’t make this story weird! (Not like there is a problem with those kind of stories, while I’m not a big fan of them, I did read a few and some of them were really good! I believe we should all write about whatever we want anyway. 😂)

- The next part will have some non-sexual (or sexual? Dunno yet.) nakedness in it. I’ll probably need to say it’s 18+ because of it. FYI 😂

- I think that’s it for today! I’m on my way to London to go and see Harry Potter World! Yay! I brought my Kirishima plushie over with me so I’ll post a little “Kirishima in London” montage when I have some time haha 😂

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated as always!💥

TL:

@sixxze @iwannahaveaprettyaesthetic @hanatsuki-hime @cloroxisadelectabletreat @cheesenmax @coffeent @smolsleepybat @therealpotatobish @qardasngan @canarystwin @unofficialmuilover @nanamomo1 @mikestuffffs

If I left anyone out, let me know pls!

[spiderlandry]

YOUR BLOG>>>>

i had a chad idea that i think you would write so well!! can you please do a singer!reader x chad fic where the reader is a famous singer and chad goes their concerts and already knows all the words to the songs and he’s just super fun and supportive?

thank you so much!

this is such a cute idea <3 i used to dream of being a singer when i was a kid (until i realized i was bad LOL) so this kinda felt nostalgic for some reason. i’ve also never been to a concert so sorry if it’s not accurate!

100 follower event

warnings: mentions of ghostface murders, kissing, established relationship, takes place (kinda) way into the future lol, not proofread i apologize

voice — chad meeks-martin

Chad had never been more proud in his life.

You’re in the dressing room, sitting at the vanity mirror about two hours before the show starts. You’d been talking to Chad who is sitting on the tiny couch while you bounce with nervousness in your seat. It’s your biggest show yet, and though you’ve performed time and time again during the tour, the fact that it’s thousands of people coming to see you still makes you giddy.

“God, I’m fucking nervous.” You look to him with those puppy eyes that endeared you to him when you first met in college.

He stands up and walks over to you, cupping your cheek. “I’m so proud of you, alright?”

You smile, putting your hands around his torso. (You’ll never get used to the feeling of his abs.)

“How did I get so lucky, hm?” You whisper. “I can’t believe you’re here.” And he knows you’re not just referring to how he’s gone overseas, paying out of his own pocket—though you offered to pay, he refused—just to see you perform. (You still gave him a discount.) You’re also referring to everything you’ve gone through together, including the ghostface murders.

“I think that’s my line,” he grins. “You’ll do great out there, by the way. I’ll be down there singing along, as always. And…I gotta go.”

“Do you really have to go?”

“You know I have to, I need to get a good view.”

“You always have a good view of me, though.”

“Oh, yeah?” He snickers, leaning in for a kiss.

“Yeah.” You slot your lips over his, melding together perfectly as it always had been.

You pull back first, and he almost whines.

“You’re the one who said you have to go, remember? Get a good view.” You tap his chest as he pouts.

“Well, Anika’s probably coming soon anyway. I don’t wanna face her wrath.”

For previous concerts, you hired Anika as your head costume designer as she studied fashion design and it worked out well because you were already friends—so you decided to take her on tour as part of the team.

As if on cue, the door opens and Anika is standing at there, beautiful as ever.

“Hey,” Chad drags out the word, like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. “Look who we have here, what a surprise, eh?”

Anika rolls her eyes, unsurprised at Chad’s antics, almost annoyed. But the slight upturn of her lips says otherwise. “Go. They need to get dressed, dingus.”

As she pushes him out of the room, he exclaims, “Dingus is my thing!” while the door closes on him.

“How do you feel now that he’s your brother-in-law?”

She scoffs, laughing. “Don’t remind me.”

-

Chad chants your name along with the crowd, cheering as you appear on stage and began to sing the first song.

Your voice is still as angelic as the first time he heard it in freshman year during karaoke night. He practically swoons when you spot him in the crowd and flash him a smile, people around him screaming as they might have thought it was them you looked at, but he will always know that smile is for him. Only him.

He watches you play the crowd as if it’s your birthright. The audience sing with you, the packed stadium lighting up with the glowing wristbands given at the start of the show.

It’s at the end of the setlist when you begin to talk.

“Before the last song, I would just like to play something extra,” You say, out of breath from the performance. The audience cheers. “This song isn’t even released yet, so I don’t know how it’s gonna go—I didn’t rehearse.” You laugh.

Chad wonders what song it is—you didn’t tell him, typically he’d know if you planned to do something different.

“I wanna dedicate it to somebody in the audience, somebody who…” You scan your eyes to find him in the crowd, and everyone around him gawks. “Somebody who has supported me from the beginning, right there,” You point, and he laughs out of disbelief. “Chad, I love you.”

After a brief moment, you add, “And please don’t make fun of his name, it’s a sensitive topic.”

They laugh as the song begins to play, the boom of the bass overtaking the speakers, and your voice floods the area once again.

Tears line his eyes. You’d played this song for him only once before, but it was so long ago. It was in his dorm room, a few nights after he’d asked you to be his and you gathered the courage to show him songs you’ve worked on. Albeit the original was much less refined, only the bare bones of it, but he’d seen your potential and pushed you to start getting gigs at small places.

The nostalgia takes over like a wave. A tear falls, and unbeknownst to him, a fan films his reaction and posts it even before the concert ends.

-

DELETED SCENE

In your hotel room, you’re awake before Chad. You admire his sleeping features for a moment before you open your phone to see a text message from Anika.

Anika bby <3

saw this on instagram

[Attachment: 1 Video]

You press play, and end up tapping your boyfriend awake.

“Hm?” He murmurs groggily, sleep dripping off his voice. “What?” He rubs his eyes, and stares at you, trying to hold in a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” He asks.

“You cried last night?” You coo, and can’t help but giggle when he props himself up on his elbow a little too quickly and gets lightheaded.

“Who told you?”

You hand him the phone wordlessly.

He squints while the headache goes away, eyes widening when he finally sees clearly.

He grins at you, “So, what? Can I not cry over the love of my life dedicating a song to me?”

“You’re such a sap,” though you tease him, the prospect warms your heart.

And though he laughs, there’s a ring burning through a hole in his suitcase; if you’re calling him a sap now, he wonders what you’ll do when he makes his speech for your hand in marriage.

[lepitorus]

what’s the back story for your Vanessa and glitchtrap? I love both of their designs a lot!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! honestly i don't think it's that far from canon haha. vanessa responds to a sketchy ad that's like "WANNA MAKE REAL MONEY DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE?? Our safety-oriented team of developers is looking for DEDICATED GAMERS to QUALITY TEST an EXCITING NEW PRODUCT! Enjoy FREE PIZZA while you LEVEL UP your bank account!" and gets hired as a beta tester for help wanted.

glitchtrap's in the code looking for a way out, sees what i assume to be the fazbear equivalent of this, and he's like "yeah i think she's the one i should use for that". my vanessa's a creep (affectionate); she's one of those true crime girlies who make flower crown edits etc of killers they like. she's not familiar with william, but she's very excited by the whole "ghosts are real, and the ghost of a serial killer is talking to YOU because he thinks you're ~special~ and ~cool~ and ~different~ and he needs YOUR help!" thing, so it probably doesn't take a whole lot of convincing to get her to let William into her head. afterwards, she spends some time idolizing him and sort of just doing whatever he wants (she's a little squeamish about actually committing murder, but she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it before. just morbid curiosity, y'know.)

however it doesn't take her long to realize that william's both an unpleasant person (rabbit? ghost?) and just. kind of uncool, honestly, and since he can't really DO anything to her, they're on more of an even footing after that. (they actually get along better when vanessa's not yes-manning him because he's forced to see her as her own person and not just an extension of himself!)

from william's standpoint, he starts out fully using vanessa. he's just saying whatever he thinks will get her to do his bidding, one way or another. but he grows fond of her over time (i'm not sure if he consciously realizes this, but she definitely reminds him of elizabeth) so in the end they sort of end up having a genuine ...friendship i guess??? in a fucked up kinda way

[shiroikabocha]

favorite part of talos principle??????

I procrastinated forever on this ask, sorry. The answer’s kinda sad. But it’s also, like, deeply true and important to me as a person, so.

My mom died at the end of 2013, concluding a truly impressive any% cancer speedrun. Less than 90 days from first symptoms to last. I loved her a lot. It was a bad time.

2014 was the worst year of my life. I became convinced that human consciousness (or at least, my own human consciousness) was not an inherent good. Not an inherent bad, either, just… the nature of the human brain is to want to continue existing, and to be incapable of continuing to exist. It’s not a system that’s designed to function without pain. It’s not a system that’s designed. Consciousness hurts. Being a conscious, physical creature in an unpredictable physical world that has no obligation to make coherent narrative sense hurts.

(I miss my mom. It’s a problem with no solution.)

And then there was this video game. And it had this guy (gender neutral) in it. And this guy was like: you’re so right, bestie. Making sense of existence? That’s a loser’s game. Can’t even get to I think, therefore I am without coming up against some truly gnarly logical conundrums—almost enough to make you wanna invent a big invisible sky-friend who gives you all the answers and reassures you that you’re important and good, right? But that’s stupid. You don’t want to be stupid, do you? You want to be smart. Like me. Smart means you’re better than the people who need happy little answers to all their silly little questions. You don’t need them. You don’t need anybody. That’s the great thing about nothing—it’s so beautifully consistent! When nothing means anything, there are no contradictions. Trying to understand your place in the cosmos—asking the question “I exist; what should I do with that fact?” and expecting to arrive at an actual, functional answer—is a sucker’s game. The only winning move is not to play.

I can’t really explain what it felt like to see my own feelings repeated back to me so clearly, so accurately, and at such length—and for my reaction to my own worldview to be seething fucking hatred. When I started playing The Talos Principle, I was a pessimistic nihilist. I did not perceive myself changing into something different until I was screaming at my keyboard FUCK YOU, my existence has meaning because I CHOOSE to imbue it with meaning and I do not FUCKING CARE if it doesn’t make sense, some things are more important than being flawlessly logically correct and ME HAVING A REASON TO LIVE is ONE OF THEM

(when your internal logic answer to Why should I stay alive? starts out as My life is a precious gift given to me by God and it is not mine to throw away, and then your understanding of the world changes in a way that no longer incorporates an ontologically-existent God, sometimes you wind up with: Why should I stay alive? Answer: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And that answer really only works as long as nothing terrible happens. It does not hold up well under stress. When you take god away you do have to put something else in its place, and it’s not easy to find something else that can hold up under the weight.)

Like… it would be an oversimplification to say that The Talos Principle made me want to live again. But it wouldn’t be too much of an oversimplification to say TTP forced me to acknowledge that I didn’t currently have a good reason to want to live, and that felt bad, and I owed it to myself to fix it. And that if I could hate this fucking asshole librarian so so much (because he was me), and still feel so much compassion for him by the end of the game, then maybe I could figure out how to feel compassion for myself, too.

Also I really like the puzzles where the solution is to zwoop around all over the place with fans, those are my favorite

[berrypass-de-murdler]

13, 14, 15. Logico Reads Books

Nothing is more fun than writing about someone reading a book :) So I crammed all these into the same episode

Welpeppslpepl

This is Philosopher Bone, the complete menace who has a design now and I regret drawing him :') Without his shades his eyes are always on fire and his lower jaw detaches when he speaks - I need to get myself together

For these episodes I mean... a couple of these characters have designs (well, Pine does) but I kinda wanna wait until she makes her physical debut cuz she's not really in this episode?? Maroon and Eminence don't have designs yet but again I feel like they should be introduced when they actually exist. And also I don't think Obsidian's pirate OCs actually need designs so I'mma just leave them out rip.

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

13 The Killing of a Cowboy

Logico reads an Obsidian book, ‘The Killing of a Cowboy’. It has caricature versions of Raspberry and Coffee. And also Judge Pine, which is kind of weird, since she IS a real person, but hasn’t debuted yet. The book is about stabbin’ knives and stuff. Someone had scribbled spoilers furiously on the pages.

LOGICO: OH COME ON! VANDALISM? SPOILERING? YOU INCESSANT FREAK, I’LL GET YOU! 

Logi reads five more pages of the book and immediately knows the ending.

LOGICO: Incredibly stupid. Why did I ever admire this author?

14 A Very Proper Murder

Logico is very excited about the next book because it’s British. Again, the characters are real people, there’s Grey there, and also Baron Maroon and Viscount Eminence, who again, exist, but haven’t debuted. Also in this AU, Lavender was murdered. Obsidian must hate him, lol. Logi finds more spoilers written in permanent ink on the pages.

LOGICO: You fucking bastard.

Logico can’t solve the mystery and yells to himself in anger in the bookshop, attracting the attention of many. He only figures out whodunit after it’s already revealed.

LOGICO: Damn you, you beautiful Obsidian!! THIS is why I loved your works so!!!

15 The Perplexing Problem of the Parrot

Logico finds that the next book is about pirates, which is pretty stupid in his opinion. But Obsidian finally made some OCs, called Blackbeard, Bluebeard, and Nobeard. In this one, a parrot was murdered.

LOGICO: Oh man, whoever crossed Blackbeard is in trouble!

People are not fond of his loud commentary in the bookshop. Of course, there’s more vandalism in the book that he tries to ignore, but he reaches the end and figures out that Blackbeard shot his own parrot, and was unconscious of it. Logico falls to his knees and cries, because what an insanely emotional ending. But then he sees at the back of the book it says ‘If my body ever disappears, contact my agent!’

That probably wasn't the same vandalism person!!!!!!!!

Especially since it's literally signed "D.O."

The end!

Phew got that over with! Now the next one can still be an actual episode. I need more Short King and less of Obsidian's AU

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[velvette3]

(3/29/24)

Why do I feel sad for no reason sometimes? It’s like a sick fuckin joke I swear. Today was such a great and productive day too! My boyfriend is as loving as ever, and he even bought me something! My OC got drawn by someone else so wonderfully and I couldn’t even do her justice w/ her of design! That art is just amazing and beautiful, and it makes me happy!

But yet I feel so sad, like I’m missing something. Maybe it’s just the lingering of my great grandma passing a few months back, but I don’t think so.

My birthday is coming up, I’m excited. I really am, I know for sure at least one thing that is on its way! First time in a few years that I’m excited for my birthday, honestly.

But I just feel sad. Idk, kinda worthless? I love helping people but damnit just seeing those around me struggling, and me not knowing how to help. It’s killing me I think. I’m just glad these are staying in drafts (unless I decide in a half asleep haze to actually post this fuck shit)

I just wanna help people so bad but I’m not able to yet. It’s killing me. I want to help people, I do and helping people makes me so, so happy! It’s what kept me going for a long time. But for that majority of this year, I haven’t been able to help people, and time has gone by too quick. Way too quick. It’s killing me, knowing how fast time is going and how little time I have left in a relaxing life. How little time I may have with people I love. My grandmother on my father’s side isn’t even 20 years younger than the great grandma I lost this year. I’m so scared to lose my Grandma J. I don’t know what I’ll do, and it’s going to be hard once she’s gone, especially when I visit my father.

It’s even worse when there is so much I can’t say to her, and how often I hear her say horrifying things.

I can’t tell her I’m Ace Pan-romantic because she’s Christian, and she talks about death and heaven so casually. I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I’m so, so scared.

So much is just there, and I’m losing so much time. I can’t help people like I want to because I don’t have the time, I can’t spend time with those I love because of how much shit I have to do with my schooling and freaking out about my future (even though it’s already here almost).

Another year I’ve wasted almost, and it’s just moving too quick.

The few things I’m grateful for in this though, are a few people, and my own stubbornness. My boyfriend, god I love him so much. I haven’t said it to him yet, no with the language we speak (English) and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m scared. But I do love him so much. My older brother, E. He’s been there since day one and is so supportive of me. May he be happy in his relationship as it is for him! I love those two shithead so much, and I can’t wait to see my brother again soon, and my boyfriend Just tomorrow maybe!

And my own stubbornness. It’s been almost (at midnight it will be) 191 days since I intentionally self harmed

^ that was the math for months. I am halfway to my head long goal of no self harm, and that has kept me going as well. My stubborn self, whenever I think of self harming, practically on the verge of just doing it, I say I can’t. I’ll be crying and weeping, wishing for pain, but I still can’t bring myself to do it because I promised myself I’d go a year AT LEAST. It’s kept me from giving in, thank god.

But I don’t know, with all of this, even with those few people, if I can do it. I came so close, so so close to giving into the thoughts and shit recently. I’m starting to scare myself. I don’t know what I’m doing, and it’s killing me. Ever since my third grade years, I was horrible when it came to control. That’s when my self harm started, in third fucking grade because I thought I could’ve preventing certain things from happening, had I tried harder. Ever since then I’ve been so hard on myself but FUCK I need to, I deserve it because I’ve let people down so many times, I’ve disappointed so many people so much.

But I dunno. I dunno why I’m so sad when today was so good for me (3/29/24)

I dunno anymore, I just want to help people so bad, I want time to slow down. I want to feel whole. Helping people helps me, and my mentality, so much. But I don’t have the time to help others anymore and it’s so hard to find people to help when everyone has such outta wack time zones.

(3/30/24)

Time is passing too quick and it’s terrifying. On top of that, I’m so scared that if I mess up in my schooling (online schooling anyways) that my parents will call me outta the blue and yell and shit. I remember very vividly back in middle school how I got like, 2-4 states mixed up on my US states quiz that I cried. I cried so hard, fearing that my mother would be angry over a topic I should know well since this is the very country we live in. Thankfully, she wasn’t.

As of now, the grades I’m getting are decent. All A’s, all year round. But I’m struggling in my Spanish. Sure, they may have been more positive about my grades here recently because of the fact that I’m towards the top of my class, but that’s not the point.

Then being happy about it sometimes makes it worse. I fear if I slip even the slightest, their expectations, if I fail them, they’ll be angry again.

I’m so scared to impress them, that I’m making it harder for me because I do so well. I know I do decently, but because of the fact that I rarely mess up, the times that I do, are impactful.

It’s awful, really. I should be happy about my success but it’s just giving me hella anxiety.

I guess this is just a journal now? Meh, it might as well be. Drafts stay drafts, after all.

(Yeah I think this is draft #16?)

[allyougottado]

HI Doodle! How have you been? I've been kinda meh bc of college but thats beside the point. About your reblog of sending you a character (or in this case, coach haha) I wanna see your list on either Maybel or Joshua or Lumen Brooks(I'm indecisive about those 3, they've been filling my mind lately aaaaaaa), even tho they dont have much lore, I love read others HC, so I'm eager to read yours^^(sorry if they wont fill all the list thingy:()

i’ll try to do all 3 cuz i rly like these coaches as well 😎 (i'm skipping fave line and song i associate them with because... ppl dont speak in just dance and i'm not creative enough to associate coaches with any song other than their own map LOL)

maybel‼️‼️

fave thing about them: her design is so cute!!!! i love yellow and her dress looks inspired by poodle skirts with the little line (phone cord?) spiraling down the skirt lol it’s so adorable. i especially love the alt. design cuz purple sleeveless jacket is CUTESY (also she looks like she’s matching with joshua with the sleeveless jacket hehe 🤭 very CUTE💯💯💯)

least fave thing about them: nothing to hate abt her 😍

brOTP: love you like a love song (this headcanon was subconciously created by looking at ur art btw LOL)

OTP: JOSHUA‼️‼️‼️

nOTP: i’m ngl i have never seen any other ship with maybel in it LOL

random headcanon: she’s a softie but the one thing she’s loud abt is her #LOVE!!!! i probz got this from the straightforward and aggressively-lovey vibe from call me maybe (and the dance too), but also a description from the JD twitter lol (they describe her as the sweet one hehe)

unpopular opinion: idk i’ve never seen too much opinions that i disagree with abt her

fave picture of them: it’s scrapped but this is kick ass maybel from puppet master lmao

joshua😎

fave thing about them: the fake personality i made for him in my head 😼 and also his yellow glove probably

least fave thing about them: i'm gonna be really honest this part will probably be empty for almost everyone i’m not a person who hates easily 😭

brOTP: i always thought that #thatpower extreme and sorry looked similar to him (i think everyone else did too LOL) so YEAH they’re totally bros to me. i also group epsilon with those 3 but if i explain it will totally derail :P

OTP: maybel 💛🩷

nOTP: haven't seen anything too hateable yet lol

random headcanon: kuudere lolz. basically the exact same thing i said for maybel but instead of sweet and soft (🥺) he's like cold and serious on the outside but super hype and chill when he's dancing or talking to ppl he likes

also he’s probz the most normal compared to #thatpower extreme and sorry lol

unpopular opinion: once again, i haven't seen too much opinions i can disagree with lol

fave picture of them: this screenshot i took from youtube lmao

lumen brooks!!!!!🎸

fave thing about them: ur gonna be so shocked when you hear this but i love his yellow raincoat i want it for myself. also he has TEAL HAIR! TEN MILLION CHARACTER DESIGN POINTS TO YOU UBISOFT (blue hair=looks like miku=good)

also i like rock so his map is so cool. i like how they went with a quirky weird rock map instead of a depressing dark one like the two they added in 2023 like yeahhhhh lets switch it up a little (no hate tho i fucking love evanescence BTW)

least fave thing about them: WOAH it’s a bit too soon to hate lolz

brOTP: probz p1 and p3, zephyr reef and crimson riff. i know they’re most likely not even real but i’d like to think he treats them as if they were his bros. also it would be rlly funny if he just has crazy flow powers and can make stuff he draws real harold and the purple crayon style

OTP: nothing rn

nOTP: also nothing rn… that game needs to come out so i have more brainpower to think of cool stuff to say 😾

random headcanon: when u think punk he doesn’t really look like one compared to crimson riff but he probz acts like one lol. would probably hate ppl like night swan and nithe long. and probably kids in america too (she’s falling for the propaganda… 😔 lol) also he’s loud. idk why i think that it just fits to me lol. also everyone probably thinks he’s #CRAYZAY 🤪 but don’t worry bro. i understand you 🤝

unpopular opinion: idk at first i thought he would be chill with scotty but i somehow changed my mind like scotty’s too much of a sweetie pie and lumen is too feisty (to me hehe) i still like fanworks with both of them in it tho they’re funny. like clashing personality stuff is still very entertaining to me

fave picture of them: idk he’s only existed for a couple of months so there’s not much pics of him… probz the little cartoony promo art from twitter cuz i like how huge they drew his rainboots here LOL

(also hiii mey i’m meh as well LOL when i typed the first half of this post i was out at the mall and i feel like i embarrassed myself so hard there 😭 embarrassment still lingers and it sucks cuz i love the mall but whatever… I’M SENDING MY ENERGY TO YOU SO COLLEGE CAN GET A LITTLE LESS SUCKY 🫶💓)

[demvalhaken]

I want coffee. (Art for you :D

*Insert funny thing here to keep your attention and hypnotise you into ignoring the anatomy*

THE COLOUR PALETTE ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS!!!

Okay everything past this point is literally just me talking about this shit

Greed demons originally had green eyes and not yellow ones. Idk but the yellow colour slays girl! It left no crumbs and cleaned the entire table! Butttttt…. There’s a sub-ring (Ring inside a ring) in the Greed Ring… LET ME COOK FOR A SECOND.

The Sub-Ring is basically just the Land of Gold as seen in Dante’s Inferno (Which inspires some rings). It’s a giant lake in the ring that has its own kind of ecosystem and society and stuff… So what if I just keep the green eyes and say “FUCK IT SHES PART GOLD THING!” Actually I think I’ll do that-

Let me just say, all marking on Greed demons are just poker symbols and stuff like that. Their tail tips will probably stay consistently either diamonds or hearts. Do you wanna know why Ace is named Ace? ACE OF SPADES BABYYYYYYY!!! Her lore is basically, you get born with luck curse, use it to win hundreds of casino winnings, get rich, get banned, get sad, be overprotective with sister. It’s been like that since 2023, don’t judge.

The rings of Hell aren’t really fully developed yet, they’re pretty underdeveloped like Limbo… I ignore that poor ring so much because I honestly don’t care about it. Plus I need to figure out sinners, AND I NEED A PROPER DESIGN FOR LUCIFER, SATAN, BEELZEBUB, MAMMON, ASMODEUS, LEVIATHAN, AND BELPHEGOR!!! AGHHHHHH!!! I’m literally just gonna make Satan fatherly goat man because that’s how he seems tbh

I HAVE SO MUCH TO DEVELOP AND ITS LITERALLY BEEN A YEAR OR TWO SINCE THIS STARTED!!! Also I literally don’t know which sin to draw first

Me talking for two paragraphs because I’m deranged :D

Is it just me or am I kinda dreading school, how am I gonna post frequently?! At least everyone sees me as a chill background character, so I probably won’t be bullied. Maybe I might be bullied for my outrageous body hair as a woman, idk I’ve never shaved except once like two years ago and I absolutely fucking hated it.

Completely unrelated rambles: you could probably tell but I am an avid fan of Vivzie’s works. Verosika deserved better tbh, she’s like my favourite character, go girl!!! I might sound crazy, but she’s not really a villain for me. Also people are getting mad at Vivzie’s tribute in the new Weird Al vid? I mean, I understand the hate… but I FIND IT FUCKING HILARIOUS THAT IT’S LITERALLY THE ALASTOR BASE MEME. I sound delusional, that’s fine I guess.

Oh yeah, here’s Ace’s original atrocious design. She ain’t got no lips and she got a receding hairline! Devious ahh smile 😭

Edit: WEVE OFFICIALLY REACHED 80 POSTS, LETS GO. I guess?

Edit 2: Dem fell off… fell off a cliff!!! Please don’t bully Dem