#I kinda feel like most of what I’ve done in the past 6 months hasn’t been necessarily great

[lynxfrost13]

I know that in terms of art the stuff I’ve been doing lately hasn’t been my best (which is ok! I personally knew it wasn’t my best) but I really have been wanting to explore and try new things even if I am not immediately good at them (something I struggle with) and although it’s super frustrating at times, I am having a blast! I’m learning how to draw people because humans and humanoids are something I have ALWAYS hated drawing because I wasn’t naturally good at them. I’d appreciate any beginner tips on drawing people! Anyways here’s a quick bust of my lady Ro’wynne

[firehousewithaview]

Missed My Meaning

I realized my drafts is full of random things I’ve started on my lunch breaks, so I’ve made it my mission to finish at least a few. Here’s the first of what I’m calling the lunch hour brain munch collection.

Buddie, 4k, misunderstandings. 

Eddie's been at the 118 for roughly three months(okay, 85 days but he isn't counting, his brain just does that sometimes) when Buck finds the courage to ask him out.

It's the end of shift, only Hen left in the locker room with them, and Buck steels himself because he's spent the last 6 hours of their 24 hour shift working himself up to this after Eddie said his abuela has Christopher until after-school and Eddie is almost done while Hen still hasn't changed.

"Hey, y-you wanna go out? With me. For coffee. Or lunch. Or breakfast, I guess. A meal in general. A general outing, I guess." He can feel his heartbeat in his cheeks and he knows they're bright red with his embarrassment. He sees Hen freeze with her shirt halfway off out of the corner of his eye but he can't pay attention to that right now.

Eddie rolls his head to the side from where he still hasn't moved after he finished tying his shoes and levels Buck with a raised eyebrow. "No?" He swings his bag over his shoulder and clasps both Buck and Hen on the shoulder on ways past. "See you guys later."

The silence of the locker room is deafening.

It's not that Buck is a stranger to rejection. He's spent too many years as a ‘Horn dog’ (thanks, Maddie) to take most 'no's personally. Sure, he's a little out of practice, because it stings like a mother fucker, but he can take it.

It's just... he was kinda hoping for a little more than flat out rejection.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts.

"Let's get some coffee, Buckaroo." Hen prods. "Maybe it isn't the date you're looking for, but I could use a pick me up before I get sucked into the before school chaos."

Buck leans into the hand on his shoulder, taking the comfort she's offering. "I'll buy."

Next shift, no one brings it up and Eddie is acting like nothing ever happened. He even looks confused, and a little hurt, when Hen volunteers to pair with Buck for chores and he takes her up on it.

Buck is pathetically grateful for the second chance Eddie is giving him and vows to never bring it up again.

*!*

Buck manages to keep that promise for over three years and only messes it up because of the probie. And to be fair, Buck wasn’t the one to mess it up.

*!*

Eddie’s been back almost two weeks after his brief stint at dispatch. He lasted over three months there, and would have stuck with it too, but Christopher was not about to have it. He sat his father down one night, after three months of being in therapy, and told Eddie that he loves him and he needs to go back to being a firefighter. That he never wanted him to quit and feels like it’s his fault his dad gave up doing what he loves when neither of them wanted that. 

Needless to say, there were many tears in the Diaz household that night and an agreement for clearer communication. And a few things about Buck that no one needs to know unless they were there. 

So Eddie returned to the firehouse, with a therapist of his own and a light in his eyes that was never there before. 

And, while some things feel like he never left, some things are a little different.

Like suddenly, Buck and the probie(Ravi, Buck’s voice in his head sighs tiredly) are friends. 

Which is great! Much better than it was before when Buck was tormenting the poor guy with a chainsaw.

It’s just-

Sometimes Eddie gets the uncomfortable feeling that the probie(Ravi, c’mon Eddie, you know his name) is in his spot. 

On calls, Buck and Eddie are still the dynamic duo, still have the same flawless communication and execution as always, but sometimes, Buck will ask Bobby to pair him with the- with Ravi. And Eddie knows it’s to show him how things are done and it’s never on the more serious calls, but that doesn’t help the fizzle of frustration in his chest. 

(His therapist asked what else is happening in his chest around  Buck and seemed genuinely surprised when Eddie could tell him love without a second thought. Eddie snorted that he’s repressed, not stupid, which opened up a whole new discussion he actually hadn’t wanted to have. Sometimes his incredible humor skills were a curse, especially in therapy.)

And it only gets worse when they’re on down time at the station. The two seem to be genuinely friends, doing the things that Buck used to do with Eddie, comfortable in each other's space.

Like now, for example. 

They got back from a call and the team piled around the table, scrambling to get dinner served and eaten before the alarm went again. Cap had done something impressive in casserole form and everyone was starving. 

There’s no assigned seats at the table or anything, but most of the time there’s an unspoken agreement that the seat next to Buck is his. He’s been gone for a while, sure, and there was the whole bit before left where he’d been avoiding being near Buck, but most everyone seems to unconsciously leave it for him anyways. 

Everyone, except Ravi, who he suddenly remembers was the one who took the seat next to Buck when Eddie was avoiding him. Who doesn’t know that the seat he’s currently sliding into should be left for Eddie because it was rarely Eddie’s while Ravi’s worked with them.

Shit. He’s really reaping the consequences of his own actions here.

“So did you finally ask them out?” Buck is asking as Eddie walks to the seat across from him and next to Hen. He glances at Eddie with a smile before turning his attention back to Ravi, who sighs. 

“He doesn’t want to date someone at the same station.” To his credit, Ravi sounds understanding, even though the mouthful of food he just took. “Said it would feel weird.”

Buck’s face is the picture of empathy when he nods. “But at least you know now.” He pats Ravi’s back. Eddie takes a particularly vicious bite of food. “Better than not knowing.”

Ravi hums though chewing. “And at least I’m on a different shift and we probably wont work together until the awkwardness fades.” He glances across the table to Eddie suddenly then back to Buck. “I don’t know how you guys did it, staying on the same shift.”

It’s not like the whole table goes quiet or anything, there’s still the sounds of Anderson, Durrano, and Cap talking further down, but Hen and Chim’s conversation cuts off abruptly enough for it to be obvious they’re listening now. Eddie feels like he’s been suddenly shoved onto a stage and no clue what he’s doing there. 

 Buck’s eyebrows are scrunched at the prob- at Ravi, but he’s still chewing. There isn’t much that can get between a firefighter and his dinner. “I don’t know what you mean.” He admits finally. 

Hen draws in a sharp breath beside him, but Eddie is too focused on the pair in front of him to wonder about it. 

With another quick glace at Eddie, Ravi admits, “You guys managed to work together even after getting divorced.” He shrugs. “I don’t know how you did it, but it must have been awkward for a while.”

Eddie’s been sucker punched a few times in his life, has literally had the earth fall out from his feet once as well, but he thinks this will be the moment he thinks of for both of those comparisons for years to come. 

Buck looks equally baffled, mouth hanging open with a bite still in there when Eddie looks over. An idle thought that he loves this man even when he’s being gross passes through his head before he forces himself to focus back to what’s happening. 

At least no one choked. 

It’s Hen that finally finds her voice first. “Ravi, hun, they aren’t divorced.” She says it like she’s delivering bad news.

Which is fitting because Ravi looks like this is the worst thing he’s ever heard. “But...” He’s swiveling his head back and forth between Buck and Eddie, a look between horror and devastation on his face. “But you guys raise Chris together!” He points his fork at Buck accusingly. “You were literally talking about his parent-teacher conferences two weeks ago!” The fork is turned on Eddie. “And you accused Buck of ‘bribing himself into being the fun parent’ when we Buck was off and took him to the tar pits!” 

Now Buck is looking at Eddie in betrayal. “You said that?”

How did this conversation get so out of control? When did he even join this conversation? “It was a joke and you know it, don’t look at me like that.” He knows his face is doing the ‘offended scrunch’ as Buck and Christopher have both dubbed it, but he can’t care right now. He turns back to the probie. He’ll apologize properly later, when this insane conversation is over and not threatening to expose his stupidly large love for his best friend. “And that’s beside the point because Buck and I aren’t and never have been married.” 

The conversations at the other end of the table have stopped at some point, but Eddie has lost track of when. He’s too busy watching Ravi turn his accusing fork on Hen. “And you made it seem like there was some crazy history when I asked.”

Hen raises an unimpressed eyebrow at Ravi. “First of all, put the fork down.” She is using her ‘mom voice’ and he immediately puts the fork on his plate. “Second, I said ‘the boys have moved past it, don’t bring it up.’ You’re the one who decided that meant failed marriage with kids.”

Ravi looks a bit like a goldfish, the way his mouth is opening and closing around nothing. Finally he finds his voice again. “If it isn’t that, what the hell have they moved past?”

And that’s... that question is too big. The first shift posturing. Shannon. The ladder truck. The blood clots. The tsunami. The lawsuit. The fight club. The well. The shooting. The hostage situation. And so many other things in between. They’ve managed to make it through everything thrown their way, together. 

Even if it isn’t the kind of together Eddie realized he wanted as he laid in a pool of his own blood. 

And instead of saying any of that, Buck sighs, and mumbles, “Me asking Eddie out.” before going back to his plate, eyes fixed there in a way that suggests this conversation is over.

Like he didn’t just punch Eddie in the solar plexus with his words. He knows his eyes are wide and just staring at Buck, but he literally doesn’t have the air to form words. His mouth is flopping uselessly. His brain is just one big echo of the words Buck just said.

Ravi is looking horrified between them, a look like he was just told Santa doesn’t exist or there is no prize left at the bottom of the cereal box. “Oh,” He breathes, eyes going back to his plate. “My bad. Consider it dropped forever.”

Somehow, Eddie finds his voice. “No, back up, undropped.” He isn’t even sure what is about to leave his mouth because the only thought there is still ‘me asking Eddie out,’ “That never happened.” Because he would at least remember if Buck asked him out, would have said yes in a heart beat at pretty much any point, but barring that, he would know it at least happened. 

Buck’s shoulders are hunching closer and closer to his ears, but he still looks up, eyebrows furrowing. “Yeah it did.”

“No it didn’t.” His voice is too loud and Eddie knows it, but it really isn’t the issue right now. Everything has taken on a surreal quality and he’s pretty sure his heart just did something that would worry medical professionals. "I would remember if you asked me out.”

And now Buck is looking torn between angry and humiliated, which is putting all of Eddie’s not already fried brain cells into a panicked frenzy to make it better. “Clearly you don’t.”

“Because it didn’t happen!”

“Yes it did!” 

“No it didn’t!”

Before they can spiral any further into the territory of elementary school fighting, Hen cuts in. “Eddie, I was there for it, it definitely happened.”

That is- what the hell? “When did this supposedly happen?” He demands, turning back to Buck and catching a brief glimpse of Bobby’s expression. He looks resigned. 

“Eddie, it happened, it was like 3 months after you got here-” Buck mutters something under his breath that makes Ravi, the only one who can hear it, look at him softly, and dammit, Eddie is already on edge, he doesn’t need this stupid rivals feeling in the mix. “-he asked you out, you said no then left, we got coffee and talked about feelings, and I ran interference the next shift and made sure Chim never made another joke about it.” Hen pauses, wincing, “Well, I made sure he made less jokes than he wanted to.”

Chim leans forward to peer around Hen at Eddie. “It’s true, my side had bruises from her pinching me for months after that.” He is still eating his dinner, chewing thoughtfully in the pause. “Never knew why she stopped me though, guess I do now.”

There are too many thoughts crowding in Eddie’s head, each one too loud, and it’s like having a hive of bees in there. No, that’s not possible- I would have known- Must have been a mistake- I missed my chance- I could have had him for years- What else have I missed- Would he still want to-

As he’s opening his mouth to let any of his thoughts out, the alarm goes off.

Buck is the first person up from the table. He doesn’t look at Eddie in the truck at all.

*!*

They get through the call without distraction, if only because Bobby immediately assigns Buck to go with the probie on crowd control while Eddie is checking minor injuries. The ride back to the station is quiet enough, only the occasional comment from Chim keeping it from being unbearably silent. 

Again, Buck is the first one up when the truck stops, Eddie doing his best to follow him, but a hand on his shoulder stops him. He has to bite down on the pissed off noise that threatens to leave his throat when he realizes it’s Ravi again. 

“Hey, I just wanted to say sorry about earlier.” He says, and Eddie, in this moment, finally sees why he gets along with Buck so well. There’s an earnestness to his expression that can’t be faked, a genuine want to fix what’s broken. It’s also probably what led him to being a firefighter, just like Buck. “I really didn’t know, but I shouldn’t have brought it up at the table like that.”

He’s making a good point, but years of being around Buck means he knows exactly how deep the self blame can go, and how destructive it can be when left to fester, so Eddie makes the effort to pull his mind back to this conversation from where it’s already trying to fix things with his best friend. “Look, you didn’t know, and the house and the interpersonal relationships here need a flow chart to be able to navigate.” Eddie places a hand on Ravi’s shoulder and squeezes. “Just- Maybe ask more directly next time? You’ve been here long enough that you’re stuck with us, you should probably know some of this.”

Ravi nods, grateful. Then he bites his lip and glances to the hall Buck disappeared down. “Can I ask what’s going on between you and Buck?”

That’s the question, isn’t it? “It’s not real clear right now, but I’ll tell you when I know.”

With visible hesitation, Ravi nods. Just as Eddie is turning away, he pipes up again. “It never made sense to me that you guys were divorced, but it was the best I could come up with to explain everything.” He shuffles his feet a bit and shrugs. “He talks about you and Chris like you’re his whole world, I just didn’t understand why you would give it up.”

It hits something deep, a chord so deep that Eddie didn’t know it was there. There isn’t really an answer he can give Ravi that is true without saying something that should be Buck’s before anyone else’s, except- “I didn’t know.”

Ravi levels him with a smile. “But now you do.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says, already backing away to follow Buck. Always to get to Buck. “Now I do.”

*!*

Of course, it’s the station, so there are only so many places Buck can hide. Eventually, Eddie finds him on the back stairs.

But he isn’t the first one who did.

“I’m not crazy, right?” Buck is asking, desperate in a way that claws at Eddie’s chest. “I did actually ask him out.”

The soothing hum of Hen floats to where Eddie is quietly lurking at  the base of the stairs. “No, you did. Maybe he misunderstood though.”

Buck lets out a snort and Eddie is cursed with knowing it’s just stuffed up enough to know his best friend is holding back tears. “You know, I remember how long he’d been here when I did it.” A chuckle, just as telling as the snort with how watery it is. “85 days. Fuck, I’m pathetic.”

“Not pathetic, Buckaroo, just a lovesick fool.” A pause. “And a little scary. How the hell do you remember that?”

“I spent the entire end of shift hyping myself up to do it, I was a little obsessive by the end.”

Eddie can’t listen to this anymore. “Buck?” He calls, shuffling forward like he just walked up. Hen comes into view before Buck does. The look she sends him is part hopeful, part frosty. “Can we talk?”

Sighing as he stands, Buck shrugs. “Sure.” He glances at Hen, who raises an eyebrow. “Does Hen need to stay so she can be my witness that this conversation happened?” He’s hurting, Eddie knows, and when Buck hurts, he grows claws. Then spends the next year beating himself up over it.

Eddie sighs as well. “No, I think we’re good.” 

Hen equeezes past him, a bump to his should that's harder than her usual ones. Eddie takes it as a warning not to fuck this up even further.

They stand in silence for a moment. Then another. And a few more for good measure. He knows he is the one who asked to talk, but Eddie absolutely hates words. The whole therapy thing is helping but 30 some odd years of habit isn't disappearing in the space of a month.

Just when Eddie has almost hyped himself up, Buck let's out his deepest sigh yet. "We don't actually have to do this, Eddie." He sounds tired, defeated in a way that sets Eddie's teeth on edge knowing he's caused it. "You didn't do anything wrong and I'm over reacting-"

"I would have said yes."

The silence in the staircase that follows Buck snapping his jaw shut is thick.

Eddie takes a deep breath. Commits. "I dont actually know which time you're talking about, or even what was going on that I didn't realize you asked me, but I have spent the last roughly 9 months thinking I'm in love with my straight best friend." He sees Buck doing the mental math. Sees the moment he realizes what happened to make him realize.

"Eddie..."

"Hang on, I need to keep going or I won't get this out." Another steadying breath. "It wasn't something I let myself think about. I would think something stupidly domestic or sappy and do the mental gymnastics so I could pretend it was platonic. But at some point I stopped having to do that because everything around you became safe enough that I could have it just be a part of 'us' and 'partners'. And that was something I could have." He runs a hand though his hair, glancing at the ceiling. "So if I had known, I would have probably freaked out, had a whole crisis over it, but the answer would have been yes." He really doesn't think he needs to clarify that it would have been messier and taken much longer if it was when Shannon was back or during the lawsuit. He can't picture Buck looking at either of those times and deciding it was the right time.

Silence reigns again as Eddie watches Buck's face. It's... worryingly blank.

"Buck?"

"Are you done?"

Dread pools in Eddie's veins. He had hoped if he used his words it would be enough, that it would fix everything, but it was a pipe dream. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Good." Buck just stares at him for another moment, eyes pinching then relaxing in quick succession a few times. Then, "We already promised Chris that we can have a movie night tonight-" Eddie's whole world stops for a second, his lungs tightening. Did he really mess this up enough to make Buck need time away? Fuck. "-so we are going to breakfast like normal." Oh thank fuck. "And it is a date." Buck presses a finger into Eddie's chest, stepping into his space. "You're buying."

All Eddie can do is nod, hope flooding his veins. Can he really have this? Is this really happening? Is he about to wake up and have to live with it all being some dream?

Nodding in return, Buck's face breaks into one of his soft grins. "Until then," he takes another step forward, their chests now brushing. "We are going back upstairs to see if there's any food left." He moves like he's going to step back.

The sound of disappointment that rips fromm Eddie's throat is probably the most embarrassing sound he's made in years, but he doesn't care. He feels his fingers knot in Buck's uniform shirt.

There isn't a word for what Buck's face does at that, but the closest would be melting. "Or..." he's whispering, like he's just as worried this might shatter or disappear too. "We could stay here for a little longer."

Finally giving in to the impulse he's been pushing down since he saw how upset Buck was at the table earlier, Eddie wraps his arms around Buck's waist, face buried in the curve of Buck's neck on instinct. He rarely let himself have this, felt too much like taking advantage after the shooting when he knew Buck didn't know how he meant it. But they're close to the same page, will get entirely on it over breakfast probably, so he takes it now. Takes the comfort of all the possibilities and the risks they're about to take. Takes the safety in knowing both of them want this. Takes his own fears and let's them be quieted by being so close to the man who has seen his worst and still comes back eagerly.

Buck's arms have closed around his shoulders, one hand tangled in the back of his hair. Eddie can feel him trembling a bit. He knows Buck is probably as scared as he is, knows his best friend well enough to know there are a thousand ways he's going to mess this up racing through his head. So he finds the words because that's what Buck needs. "We're gonna be okay, kid."

The choked sound Buck makes is worryingly close to a sob, but his arms tighten and a wavering breath ghosts across Eddie's neck. Then he proves he knows Eddie best by pressing his lips to Eddie's temple. Because where Buck needs words, Eddie needs actions.

"Yeah we will, Eds." Another press of lips, this time not moving away to speak. "We really will."

*!*

When they finally make it back up stairs, shoulders brushing and grins impossible to hide, no one says anything. Hen points to their plates on the counter with a knowing grin while Chim is furiously typing away at his phone next to her at the bar. Bobby barely pauses his paperwork to smile at them warmly. Ravi is on the couch, trying to look like he's focused on his phone but failing miserably because of the giddy smile he can't hide.

When they sit at the table to finish their plates, Eddie slides into his place right beside Buck, angling his chair close enough that their elbows bump. Buck shoots him a soft look and doesn't move away, just bumps their knees as he takes a bite.

Not even the alarm going off just as he takes a bite can ruin Eddie's giddy mood.

He has a date in the morning. 

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Run to You Part Three

Derek Morgan x Reader

Words: 1758

Part 3 of 3

Part One; Part Two

Summary: Having been dating for a while, you finally feel comfortable enough to introduce your boyfriend to your daughter, Angelica. Derek takes on the role better than you could have imagined and you start to feel like a family. Then one day, Angelica disappears from a friend’s house and your ex husband starts making demands. 

Notes: Is this procedurally correct? Probably not. But here it is! The last part to my Derek Morgan imagine! I hope you guys enjoy this and never forget that replies mean the world! This one kinda feels jumbled, but I hope you still like it. (I’m sorry it took forever! I got caught up with other projects, which I hope to be sharing soon!)

More Criminal Minds: HERE

-

The swarms of cops were overwhelming. You watched teams and teams of people surrounded the block Dr. Reid was the one that figured out that Lance had brought Angelica to the church that you got married, especially upon the discovery that it was going to be torn down in a few weeks. The idea of losing the one connection to you he had left was likely a trigger. 

No one was allowed to get too close. They worried that cornering Lance would make him panic and kill Angelica, so you were forced to stand back and watch. They made sure you weren’t alone, of course, though you weren’t sure if it was to comfort you or to make sure you didn’t try and run in alone. With all of the standing around you were doing, you felt ready to break down the front door. 

“Alright, so we’re sending a team around to the back to get in as quickly and quietly as possible. That’ll be me, Prentiss and a couple of the local P.D.” Derek explained, keeping his eyes locked on yours to make sure you understood that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to your baby. 

“He wants me, Derek. What if he knows you’re in there and he panics and he-”

“Hey, listen to me,” He put a hand on your cheek. “I’m not gonna let that happen.” Despite the eyes of his coworkers, he pulled you in for a gentle, reassuring kiss. It did little to calm you down, but just having him there made the situation that much easier. That moment, however, was cut short by the ringing of your phone. 

“God, not again.” You cried, pulling the device from your pocket. This time, Derek held out his hand. You gave him a confused look, but handed it to him. 

“Mr. Booker.” 

“You must be Agent Morgan.” Lance spat. “I know that you and your gang of federal pigs are coming after me. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because Y/N will see she’s wrong. I’ll show her she’s wrong.”

“Mr. Booker, we just want Angelica to be safely returned to her mother.” 

“What about her father, Agent Morgan? What about me!” 

“I want to make this as easy on you as possible, Mr. Booker, but you’ve got to help me out here.”

“Just bring my wife to me and nobody will get hurt.” 

“I can’t do that, Lance. You know I can’t do that.” Derek could tell that you were starting to panic from the way your eyes kept darting to the church and you slowly crept closer. He took your hand to keep you from bolting in there. 

“If I don’t see her in the next half hour... I’m taking my baby girl with me.” The call ended, but Morgan was already prepping his team to go in. 

“Derek, what did he say?” You kept your grip on his hand, following him to join Prentiss. 

“Nothing that he hasn’t already said.” He gave you the most reassuring look he could, but he knew that they had to act fast. 

“I’m going with you.”

“No. No, baby, you can’t.” He took your face in his hands. “Y/N, I need you to stay here. I need you to be safe. I can’t go get your little girl if I’m worried about you too, okay?” You shut your eyes, feeling more frightened tears slip down your cheeks. 

“What if he… what if you don’t get her in time? I need to see her, I-I need-”

“Don’t even think like that, baby.” He looked over your shoulder and motioned to the younger agent to stand beside you. “Now Reid is going to stay here with you, okay?” Reid gave him a small nod and put a comforting hand on your shoulder. Derek kissed your forehead. “I’ll be right back and I’m bringing Angel with me.” 

As he walked away, you could feel your body start to shake. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. You shut your eyes tight, the foolish part of you hoping that when you opened them, Derek and Angie would be smiling in front of you. But when you finally opened your eyes, all you saw was him walking away.

-

Morgan moved silently, followed closely by his team. Prentiss was right behind him and the other officers were ready to go. From what they could tell, Lance was in the chapel, keeping Angelica towards the back. The church had multiple entrances with one leading to the basement. This was determined to be the best point of entry since Lance was least likely to hear the team coming. 

While you couldn’t see him anymore, your heart beat more with every second. Dr. Reid stood by your side, his presence serving as a small comfort as he listened to the situation through his earpiece. He shifted suddenly and gave you a small, if not nervous, smile. 

“They’re in.” 

Derek directed the officers to one staircase while he and Prentiss crept up the other. The old floors creaked as they walked, making him wince. He could only hope that Lance couldn’t hear them. They moved fast and efficiently like they would any other raid, but his body was buzzing more than usual. He focused on the image of Angelica and kept going. 

“Morgan,” Prentiss stopped suddenly, looking around the corner. 

Angelica was seated on top of the old alter, swinging her small legs back and forth while she colored in a tattered psalm book. Booker was nowhere to be found. Morgan and Prentiss approached her slowly, double checking to make sure Lance wasn’t waiting for them. As soon as they were sure, Morgan ran to the little girl. 

“Derek!” She cried, throwing her arms around his neck. 

“It’s alright, Angel. I’ve got you. It’s going to be okay.” He cradled the back of her head, holding her closed to his chest. 

“Sweetheart, I need you to tell us where your dad went.” Prentiss said gently. Angelica just gave her a tearful look and pointed up. The two agents exchanged a look, reaching the same conclusion. Derek motioned to one of the officers and reluctantly handed her a crying Angelica. 

“I wanna stay w-with D-Derek!” 

“I know, sweetie, but this nice woman is going to take you out to your mama, okay? I have to go find your dad with Emily. I’ll be out before you know it, but I need you to be brave. Can you do that?” 

She nodded, but held onto his hand until he had to pull away. Prentiss put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Morgan if you need to-”

“No, I want to finish this. I’m not letting that son of a bitch take the easy way out.” 

As they made their way to the roof, you were desperately watching the door of the church, gripping Dr. Reid’s hand a little too tightly. Time was ticking and your heart beat faster every second. 

Suddenly, a group of officers exited the church. You didn’t see Derek, but at the back of the group, a female officer held Angelica. Immediately dropping Reid’s hand, you sprinted towards her, taking her from the officer’s arms and holding her closer than you ever had. You cried as her hands clung to your shirt, promising yourself to never let her out of your sight again. 

On the roof, Derek stared down Lance as he prepared to jump. 

“Don’t do it, Mr. Booker.” Prentiss said, carefully taking a step towards him. 

“There isn’t a point anymore.” The man swayed back and forth, almost losing his balance. “I just wanted us to be a family again.”

“Killing yourself won’t fix what you did all those years ago, Lance.” 

“I loved Y/N. I swear I did. But I kept hurting her. I kept hurting her and now my daughter doesn’t even know who I am.” 

“Is this how you want Angelica to remember you? The man who hurt her mom and took her away?” Derek inched closer, careful not to provoke him into jumping. “If you die now, that’s all she’ll know.” 

“Don’t come any closer!”  Lance screamed, but he had stopped swaying. 

“Lance, you can spend the rest of your life giving her something good to remember. You owe her that much.” A darker part of Derek wanted Lance to know the pain that he inflicted upon you and your family, but the words he said now were true. The best thing Lance could do was try to redeem himself after everything he had done. 

“I...I… okay.” Lance seemed in a daze as he stepped off of the ledge. Prentiss cuffed him and the two led him back downstairs. 

Lance left the church first, making your heart sink. You almost didn’t recognize him. He was just a shell, nothing like the man you knew all those years ago. Maybe, one day, you would learn to feel sorry for him, but for now, as you watched him be loaded into the patrol car, you only felt relief. 

“Derek!” Angelica squealed, reaching out her arms. You whirled around and felt another sob escape your throat. 

The team watched Derek run to you, taking both you and Angelica in his arms. Prentiss finished getting Booker into the car and joined Hotchner, Reid, and Rossi. 

“That’s not something I thought I’d see.” She whispered with a smile. 

“Did you not think we’d get to the little girl on time?” Reid asked. 

“No,” She motioned to the trio in front of them. A family. “Derek falling in love.” The rest of the team smiled and separated into their designated vehicles. 

-

The crowd shouted and cheered as Angelica sprinted towards home plate. Visitors 3, Home team 6. You cheered louder than anyone. Well, maybe not anyone.

“That’s right! You can’t touch her!” Penelope screamed at the other team’s players. Everyone from the BAU had shown up. Over the past few months, you’d gotten to know all of them pretty well, even earning Penelope’s approval.  

“She’s good.” Emily smiled at you. You nodded. 

“She has a good coach.” You looked down at the dugout where Derek was waiting to give Angel a high-five. You must have caught his eye because he beamed up at you with that knockout smile. You grinned back. 

“You guys seem really happy.” J.J. mused, giving you a supportive smile. You nodded, keeping your eyes on Derek. 

“Yeah.” You waved down at him and your daughter as she came in for her victory. “We are.”

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks

Series: @ weasleytommy, @ lowsodiumfreaks67, @panhoeofmanyfandoms, @ literallyprentissstwin, @ yallgotkik

[glenncoco4]

War Zone

A/N: Chapter 6. Some M.

••••

Present

If her eyes weren’t already closed they’d be rolling back in her head right now as his finger tips dig into her scalp, making her sink into the tub even further. Dear god she knew his hands were magic but this is euphoric. 

“How you doing, baby?”

She feels his breath hot against her ear, if she wasn’t so miserable, and over 39 weeks pregnant, they’d definitely be using this tub for other purposes. “Why won’t she just come out already?”

The whine in her voice makes his heart sink a little. These last few days have been hell for her and he so wishes he could, but he can’t take her pain away. This warm bath was the only thing he could think of to help her relax at least a little bit, but that doesn’t seem to be working either. Helpless isn’t even the right word for what he’s feeling right now. “I think its because you made such a nice home for her over the past 9 months that she just doesn’t want to leave.”

“Bullshit.”

“She’ll come when she’s ready.” He huffs a laugh before getting up from the stool and leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “In the mean time…” 

Her brow furrows at the sound of his retreating footsteps. Lifting her head up from the tub, she opens her eyes and is suddenly alone. “So you’re just gonna leave me here?” Getting no answer, she rolls her eyes. “If this is your idea of a sick joke, I’m-“

As he steps back in the room, Marty’s unable to keep the smile from his face seeing her mouth open in shock. Closing the distance, he pulls the stool to the side of the tub, sitting down with a tower of her favorite treat, 13 to be exact. He sits the tray on the counter and then takes one of the yellow snack cakes, unwrapping it as her hungry gaze watches his movements. 

Her eyes meet his as he extends the Twinkie towards her mouth, offering her a bite. If she weren’t already head over hills in love with him before, she most certainly is now. Yeah, being in this kinda pain sucks, but knowing he’s doing everything he can to make her feel better is one of the best feelings in the world. Leaning forward, she takes a bite, moaning in pleasure. “Mmmm, I love you.”

 “What a difference 13 years make, huh?”

“I remember being less fat before I met you.”

“You’re not fat, baby.”

“I look like a beached whale.”

“A very beautiful beached whale.”

Her bottom lip begins to quiver at his words as she lays a comforting hand across her protruding belly. “Did you just call me fat?”

His eyes go wide in panic, realizing just how wrong the sentence that left his mouth sounded. “No, I mean…you just-“

••••

May 12th, 2009

Her body shakes with anticipation as she makes her way down the jet bridge. It’s been 4 months, 4 long and treacherous months since she’s seen him…well in person that is. When he got his assignment to Egypt right after he finished following her team they were both devastated. It’s part of their jobs of course, they spent most of their dating life apart but there’s something about being married that makes it even more agonizing. Especially since the longest they’ve been together since tying the knot is 3 weeks.

As her Navy issued boots hit the terminal floor the chatter of the people around her and the announcer over the intercom fade, her mismatched orbs immediately scan the room. His flight was due to land an hour before hers and he was going to meet her at her gate. 

She’s briefly pulled out of her search at the sudden feel of tugging of her camouflaged dry fit. Looking down, the SEAL’s eyes meet beautifully innocent chocolate orbs, standing there with a shy smile on his face.

Sitting her bag down, Kensi crouches down, now eye level with the young boy. “Hi.”

“Hi.”

She looks down at the small stuffed animal in his hand and then back up at him. “I like your puppy.”

His response catches her a little off guard as his tiny arms wrap around her neck in a tight hug and the words that leave his lips turn her into a big pile of goo. “Thank you for protecting us.”

“Oh, you’re very welcome.”

“Is this where we get in line for the hugs?”

Her eyes go wide at the all too familiar voice. The the voice that up until now has been thousands of miles away from her. Pulling back from the little boy, she quickly spins around, jumping up and throwing her arms around his neck for the death gripping hug. 

The blonde smiles as his arms find their way around her waist, picking her up in excitement. To say he missed her would be an understatement. “Hi, baby.”

“Hi.” She pulls back a bit, her lips immediately finding his. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you more.” He goes to move the hair out of her face but catches himself when the plaster on his hand touches her.

Her brow furrows as he sits her down, now noticing the obstruction on his left arm. “What happened?”

“Oh, I was fighting some Transformers, you know the usual.”

She smiles shaking her head before bringing her lips to his once more. God she missed his sense of humor. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

She pulls back from their embrace, grabbing her bag and saying a quick goodbye to the little boy before they start heading towards the exit. As they make their way through the terminal, the SEAL wraps her arms around her husband’s uninjured one, hugging it to her body. “So what really happened there?”

“I was playing soccer with some local kids. Kens, we gotta go to Egypt one day. I mean it’s hot as hell but so beautiful.”

“I like that idea. Maybe for our honeymoon that we’ll get to go on one day?” Her mind drifts to a small quaint resort, and her shirtless husband feeding her grapes as they relax beach side in Attaka.“Speaking of monumental moments, do you realize what today is?”

As they step out into ground transportation area, he finds a lone pillar and leans up against it, pulling her body into his. “Of course I do, Nutty Fudge Day!”

Tilting her head back, her mismatched orbs meet his as she bites her lip, trying to keep the smile from spreading to her face. “I’ll show you Nutty Fudge Day.”

“Baby, not in front of the children.” His eyes go wide as they dart over to the two little kids watching them a few feet away.

This time she can’t stop the laughter from leaving her lips before placing a kiss to his once again.

He deepens the kiss, wishing so much that they were already in their hotel room. The sound of little giggling voices forces him to pull back, shaking his head, the photojournalist takes in his wife’s beautiful features. All the things they had plan to go out to do while they’re in the Big Apple are sounding more and more like a drag when he could very well have her all to himself in their luxurious hotel suite. The look in her eyes tell him she may be thinking the same thing, but he tiptoes around the subject just in case. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“I may have a surprise for you.” And oh, does she have a surprise for him.

••••

Present

She takes another bite when her eyes suddenly go wide at the sudden burst of warmth that fills the cooling water around her. The moan that escapes deep from within her throat can’t be helped as a new feeling shoots through her body. 

“Woah, maybe I should just hop in there with you.” He smiles thinking that the noise was caused by her treat.

“How do you feel about delivering babies?”

“I’ve never done one myself but-“ His eyes quickly find the panic shining in her eyes, making his entire being freeze. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Um, my water may have just broke.”

••••

May 12th, 2009

Humming with excitement, he walks into their hotel room, bucket in hand. “Baby, I got the ice, now I’m ready to rock your-“ He stops in his tracks at the sight before him.

“Hi.” She smiles, her mismatched orbs darken with desire as she looks him up and down seductively, biting her bottom lip.

“H-hiii.” He gulps, his cerulean blues roam her body, every bare inch glowing in the soft light coming from the lamp in the corner. Then his eyes reach the lace…the oh so delicate cornflower blue lace that barely covers her beautiful breast and delectable pussy. 

“Are you just gonna stand there?”

“No, just waiting to wake up.”

“What?”

“I’m still in the hot Egyptian desert and just hallucinating. Yep, any moment now and that lamp over there is gonna turn into a camel.”

A grin spreads to her lips as she gets up from her strategic positioning and walks on her knees to the end of the bed. She reaches for his hand and pulls him towards her. Placing a kiss to the underside of his jaw, his eyes darken as her fingers work their way down to the hem of his pants and slip into his boxers. Her delicate fingers wrap around his already hardened cock, earning a moan of pleasure, one she hasn’t heard in too long. “You’re very much awake, baby.” 

“Thank god.” His lips find hers in a desperate kiss as she pulls him towards her and onto the bed.

A little while later as they both lay sated and out of breath, his head pillowed on her chest as her fingers work their way hrough his golden locks.“Why do you have so many knots in your hair?”

“Well, I’m a little disabled at the moment,” He lifts his casted hand and arm in the air for emphasis, “so I can’t really run my fingers through my hair in the shower like I usually do.”

“Ya, know…” Her fingers find his scalp and dig in a little, earning a moan of pleasure from him.

“Oh, god, that feels amazing.”

“I have two free hands and there’s an empty tub just a few feet away that can massage other things.”

His lips find her breast as his fingers delicately walk down her abdomen to find her already sopping wet pussy.“Well, it just so happens that I have a free mouth that can also massage things.”

••••

Present

She lets out one last groan as the little girl is fully free. Her tiny cries filling the air as Marty quickly cuts the umbilical cord before wrapping her in a towel and handing her over to his wife. 

“You did it, baby.” He comes up beside her, his arm going around her shoulders as he pulls her into him. Yeah, moving to the bed was a good idea. Placing a kiss to the top of her head, he smiles as he gets a glimpse of his two girls…his whole world right in his arms. “I love you so much.”

She tilts her head back, eyes locking with his as he places a kiss to her lips. “I love you.” 

The tears that begin to form in her eyes, he can feel pooling in his own. “No, no, don’t cry. Cuz if you cry then I’m gonna cry.”

“She’s just so beautiful.”

“Exactly like her mama.”

“You think so? I thought she looked like you.”

“Well, I guess that’s good considering we’re her parents.” His lip curls into a smile.

Shaking her head, she gives him another kiss before her head finds his shoulder once again. “Touché.”

[lebguardians]

This will be the first “story” I’ve ever written. Woke up today kinda of wanting to write but definitely scared 😂. Don’t know if this would even go anywhere. I love Charles Brandon’s character development in the Tudors and there isn’t many fanfics on his character so I figured I’d give it a go? Maybe?

Warnings: angst, fluff, eventual smut, feel free to message me if you feel I should add some.

I don’t have a title idea, so if someone does after reading it let me know and I’ll definitely give you credit.

The Lady Y/N Windhelm was sent to court after the rebellion in the north to make sure her father, the Duke of Windhelm, stayed loyal. Y/N never agreed with the rebellion against His Majesty, she begged and pleaded with her father to stop his part in the rebellion. When the fighting was done and over, the only reason he wasn’t hanged as a traitor was because her father was good friend’s with King Henry’s father.

Forever branded as the traitors daughter, Y/N did everything she could to blend in with the crowd towards the back at some feast she was forced to attend. She was a shy girl, not that she had anyone to talk to if she could. No one wanted to be associated with her. It was no surprise she was unwed either. Standing at 5’1, she was a slim woman, dark brown hair that reached her bottom, fair skin, blue eyes. Currently she was pressed against a wall, almost trying to blend it with it as to not be seen, her long hair thrown up into a simple hairstyle, and wearing the plainest dress she owned. She prayed no one recognized her.

She looks around the crowd with a sigh. The king with his wife were at the high table laughing and eating, both of whom were surrounded by His Majesty’s counsel. All seemed to be having a good time besides the King’s best friend, the Duke of Suffolk, Charles Brandon. He seemed to be in the middle of another argument with his wife.

Feeling the air getting too hot, Y/N decided to take a step outside to get some fresh air and maybe sneak away back to her room. If she had it her way. She would stay there with her books and needlework. Y/N stepped toward the edge of a balcony and leaned over, enjoying the feeling of the cool spring breeze on her flushed face. She hated wearing these cursed dresses. They are so hot and uncomfortable. She lost herself in though looking out to the trees. She longed to return to the north. The rolling green hills, the sea, riding on her horse for hours, mostly until the moon was high in the sky. She smilied faintly at the memory of her father being so enraged when she came back way too late for his liking. His face beat red with anger and worry. Then the horror passing through his face when he noticed she was wearing trousers before shaking his head and letting out a deep laugh at his only daughter’s shananigans. Y/N missed him deeply.

Y/N was lost to her thoughts and lost track of time. She startled suddenly when a door slammed behind her. She quickly turned and saw the Duke of Suffolk. He looked very angry, his jaw clinched, fists balled up. He looks up and noticed that he startled Y/N. The Duke had brought her back to court on His majesty’s orders. Quite literally kicking and screaming for her father. The sound of her screams stayed with the Duke. The Duke sighed deeply and said,

“Forgive me, my lady. I didn’t know anyone was out here.”

Y/N curtsied, her body beginning to fill with rage at the sight of the Duke. She swore to herself that she would never forgive him for ripping her away from her home and family. “Your Grace.” She replied stiffly. “I was just leaving” she quickly walked past him, wanting nothing more than to run to her room and shake the memories away. The Duke stepped to the side letting her pass, a guilty look passing through his handsome face. The Duke let out a sigh, wiping a hand over his beard. The Dutchess informing him eariler that she was returning to Suffolk with their son and not returning. Rolling his eyes at their argument. He didn’t blame her. Not really. He loved her deeply but he know she would never love him again.

He walked to the edge of the balcony where Lady Y/N stood earlier. He know she was miserable. Who could blame her. He begged for his friend to reconsider bringing her here. He know court would not be kind to the girl. Charles heard the gossip about her around court. The horrids things said to her and behind her back. He heard her soft cries when he passed her room. Taking a deep drink of his wine, he stood straight and headed back into the hall.

Lady Y/N was making her way back to her room, praying no one would see her tears. She heard a group of the Queen’s maidens, laughing about her. Saying thing like she would never find a husband and eventually the King would be bored with her embarrassment and send her to a convent. She finally reached her room and quickly started shedding the layers of her dress, before dressing into something comfortable for the night. She fell asleep crying.

6 months later.

Charles Brandon grew increasingly worried about Y/N. It was noticeable that she has lost quite a bit of weight and that she barley eats a thing, only leaving her room when commanded. Her face has lost all its color and then circles under her eyes quite noticeable. The Queen, Jane Seymour, taking notice as well.

The Queen was kind to Y/N. Most mornings breaking fast with her in private as to not spark more rumors. She worried about her greatly and has tried to persuade the king to send her home with no luck. When she was finally able to get Y/N to open up and talk, y/n spoke often for her love of the north and how much she missed it and her father.

After eating his food, Charles decided to talk to the king about sending y/n back. He worried she would get sickly and die and didn’t want another death on his already heavy conscience. He walked to the king’s quarters.

“His Grace, the Duke of Suffolk”, he heard the groomsmen announce.

“Ah Charles, I was just going to send for you, come sit” the king stated joyfully.

Charles raised an eyebrow at the king’s joyful mood. “His majesty seems to be in a good mood today.” He noted. The king smirked before handing him a letter. Charles furrowed his eyebrows, opened the letter, quickly reading it. His head snapped up to the king, he ran a hand through his grown out curls, and then ran a hand down his face.

“Forgive me, your majesty, but I’m confused” his mind was racing. A million different thoughts running through it. The king finding a loophole, allowing Charles to divorce his wife and marry again if he so chooses. Catherine made it quite clear she wouldn’t love him again nor would allow him to bed her. The King was able to use this and allow for a divorce on the grounds that Her Grace wouldn’t fullfill her duties.

“What’s there to be confused about Charles, it’s clear your miserable. You don’t smile nor joke as you used to my friend. I worry for you” the King replied, taking a bite of some foreign fruit Charles hasn’t seen before. “In any case it’s done and now settled. You are no longer married to Catherine. Don’t think I haven’t already noticed you eyeing another. A certain lady of Windhelm” the king said with a smirk on his face.

A shocked look passed over the Duke of Suffolk’s face. “Your majesty, it’s not like that at all. I’m concerned for the girl. She’s gotten quite sickly and depressed. I came here today to beg of your mercy and allow her to return home.”

A very angry look passed over the king’s face as he stood up. “I’ve already made it quite clear to my wife that I won’t tolerate in meddling and that includes the you as well Charles. The girl is staying here as assurance her father won’t rebel again. They are both lucky I didn’t take their heads. The only mercy she’s getting is me allowing her to marry and not be sent off to some convent.”

Charles was getting very irritated and seeing where the king was going with this. “So what, you’ll force the poor girl to marry me, making her even more miserable? She won’t marry me. I’m the one who ripped her from her home and family and everything she’s ever known. She can’t even look at me without running scared. Forcing me to marry into yet another unhappy marriage? What game are you playing at?”

The king was enraged and slammed his fist down and began yelling. “You’ll marry the girl and that’s the end of it. You remember, you owe me after what you pulled with my sister, Charles. I may have forgiven you but I haven’t forgotten. You will marry her and ensure her loyalty to me and secure that her family remains loyal. The north looks to her family for whatever reason. If they stay loyal the rest will fall in line.” The king stood and stormed out the room. Neither of them realizing some of the Queen’s maidens overheard them arguing about this and decide to make their way to y/n.

Charles stormed out. Everyone moving out of his way seeing just how angry he is. He paced his quarters, his curls a mess from him running his hands through them so often out of frustration. How would he be able to break the news gently to y/n? What he didn’t realize was the women that overheard already telling y/n for no reason other than to be jealous over the fact they werent able to marry the handsome Duke.

Y/n was sitting under a tree working on a needlework, enjoying the sunny spring day for once. She decided to take the Queen’s advice and get out of her room. She was depressed and very home sick. She knew her dresses didn’t fit as they did before and she didn’t have much of an appetite. The Queen was very kind to her. She thought it was apart of a game when the Queen approached her. She quickly realized how kind of a woman the Queen is and began so slowly open up to her. She enjoyed the morning that they ate together.

Y/n heard footsteps approach her. She looked up and saw it was the Queen’s maidens and quickly looked down and picked up her work and stood up to walk away in hopes they would leave her be. She quickly remembered why she didn’t leave her room unless forced to. They called her name and giggled.

“Can I help you with something” y/n said politely. They giggled again.

“Have you heard?” The one on the right asked while the one of the left kept giggling.

“Heard what exactly?” Y/n asked cautiously.

“The king in mercy is allowing you to marry” the left one stated with clear amusement. Y/n grew pale and her hands began to shake.

The one on the right noticed her state. “Yes we heard the king arguing with the Duke of Suffolk not long ago. It seems the king has found a way for the Duke to divorce his wife and has arranged your marriage to him”

A cold sweat breaks out across y/n. She turns and quickly walks off all but running back to her room. Her mind is racing. How is this mercy? Being forced to marry the man that ripped her from her family? A part of her knew that it was on the kings orders and that he was the unfortunate one to have to follow. But she still blamed him.

She barley noticed the people she was passing, not even realizing she rushed past Charles so quickly he almost didn’t notice. She was beginning to hyperventilate, her breath coming in and out quietly, tears streaming down her pale face. Cursing the tight dress she was forced to wear she heard her name being called and a hand on her arm. She looked up to see none other than Charles Brandon himself.

“Let me go” she spit out. All she wanted to do was hide in her room.

“Lady y/n, wait, what’s wrong?” Charles asked very concerned at her current state. Anger flashed through her eyes.

“As if you don’t know what’s already wrong Your Grace.” Y/n breathing quickened. Guilt passed through the Duke’s eyes before confusion.

“My Lady, please I only just found out myself. How could you have found out so quickly. I was just coming to tell you myself”. Charles tried to reason. Y/n snorted

“You know as well as I that secrets don’t stay secrets for long in this hell.” She was beginning to see black edges in her vision. She was scared and panicking.

“My lady, you need to breathe” Charles told her as she began to wobble on her feet.

“No, I won’t do it, I won’t marry you” she gasped out, shaking like a leaf “I want to go home. I want my father” she cried before her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out.

“Fuck!” Charles exclaimed, catching her before she hit the ground. “Go get a damned doctor and send them to my quarters” he cursed at a nearby guards. Charles picked her up and walked quickly back to his quarters, laying her down on his bed. He stepped out the room and allowed the doctor to look over her. He sat in his chair in front of the massive fireplace and stared into the fire. Not looking up as the doctor came out.

“Lady y/n will be alright and needs rest and nourishment. She is very thin and has been through. Shock”

Charles said nothing and nodded his head not moving from his spot. He let out a big sigh, running a hand through his hair. He hopes he can one day earn her forgiveness or they will both remain miserable.

Let me know what you think!

[redsector-a]

AO3 Ask Game

I was tagged by @themarshalstale which, thank you so much! I feel like I always get missed on these (I know why, it’s been 84 years since I published anything but still). 1. How many works do you have on ao3?

46 it seems. Which...look I’m slow man so that’s not surprising. lol Also crippling depression does not make for much production, at least for me.

2. What’s your current AO3 wordcount?

309662 according to the stats.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So do I could only AO3 or in like life? lol I suppose it should only be on AO3 since this is an AO3 ask game. Hrm. Basically AO3 can be summed up as: Marvel (in several iterations - all Avengers related) Torchwood Highlander But isn’t it more fun to consider my entire fandom life, which, I’m sorry, I’m old so...yeah. Not all of this is was published and beyond that a lot is not available anymore...which is likely for the best. Highlander Star Wars Babylon 5 Ronin Warriors/Samurai Troopers Marvel (again, several iterations also of note Avengers and X-Men both count) Torchwood Star Trek LOTR Stargate (SG-1, SGA) Mortal Kombat I dabbled with the idea of Potter fic but never got past the ideas stage.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: You rearrange me till I’m sane Clint finds himself spiraling into a deep depression after the Battle of New York...until the Winter Soldier ends up saving him and inadvertently giving him a new purpose – to save the man that the Soldier had once been – Bucky Barnes. Not one to be outdone, the Soldier decides that his new mission is to ensure that Clint remains alive himself. Protecting a blonde man with a self-destructive streak is somehow very familiar to him. Through the back and forth of who is saving whom they cross the country and learn more about themselves and each other – and perhaps find a reason for living. 2: Five Dates Bucky Didn’t Realize He Was on And the One He Planned Himself To say that Bucky was surprised when Clint kissed him was an understatement. But it was nothing compared to the shock he felt when he learned they'd been dating for months without him realizing it.Clint gets whisked away for a mission before they have time to talk and Bucky is left to figure things out on his own - hindsight being 20/20 he can't help but wonder how he missed things the first go around.

3: Puck Luck Bucky Barnes is used to the ups and downs of an NHL season. He's used to the unpredictability of the game, knows that bounces don't always go your way, but that doesn't make a broken hand in the final third of the season any easier to deal with. Especially not when he ends up with an impromptu roommate/personal assistant in the form of one Clint Barton - his agent, Natalia Romanova's (rather attractive) friend he hadn't known existed before his injury.

It's just for six to eight weeks - what could possibly happen in that span of time?

4: Loose Lips Launch Ships

Based on the following prompt: “We go to school together and I think you’re cute and apparently you’re also the pizza delivery guy and my little sibling opened the door screaming hey sibling! you know that kid you’re in love with? you really weren’t kidding when you said his jawline could cut steel holy shit-” Bucky is the pizza delivery guy. Clint's younger (foster) brother has a big mouth.

5: Indelible Bucky Barnes has a pretty decent life – a good job, good friends, a cat that adores him - but something is missing. He’s always found body art to be beautiful and inspiring, and on a whim (and with the hope that maybe he can find what he’s missing) he decides to take the plunge and get a tattoo. That's how he meets Clint Barton. Clint's talented and compassionate and there is an instant spark between the two of them. It's not long before Bucky finds himself wondering and wanting more from the relationship despite the ghosts of the past that crop back up. Because Clint makes him feel normal in a way he truly hasn't for years...

(this was pre-Alpine so I was totally chuffed when canon confirmed Bucky’s status as a crazy cat lady (affectionate).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not.

I really really really want to do it but I often times don’t end up doing it. There are a few reasons. First, I am akwward AF and bad at interaction adn I feel like just saying thank you would be...not enough? Second - I often times tend to like...turtle (aka retreat into myself) when life gets Too Hard/Busy which happens a lot to me (sigh) and then I miss the vague window in my mind in which it would be okay to respond and then it’s even more weird. I do love and cherish all of them. Like there was one months ago that made me go “hmm...I didn’t think I was going to do a sequel to that fic (You rearrange me till I’m sane), timestamp glimpses sure but a sequel hadn’t come to mind” but then the comment made me think! So...who knows? lol Anyway, I literally have been rereading some in an effort to try and get myself going again. Know that if you have commented, I love you.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

At the moment? Probably: Look at you look at me Bucky's in love with Clint - problem is he's really not supposed to be. For Winterhawk Week 2019 - Forbidden Love (I really don’t want to give away the spin in the fic but...if you’re familiar with the Secret Avengers Vol 2 run circa 2013ish (aka when SHIELD initially ‘took control of the team’) that’s a bit of a hint as to the spin). Were it done, Torch Song would be up there. ;) Torch Song Clint is sent back in time, via an alien device, to 1938. While he tries to figure out how to get back home, he takes up singing and entertaining to make ends meet and does his best to not disrupt the timeline.Then he meets a 21 year old Bucky Barnes. --- A torch song is a sentimental love song, typically one in which the singer laments an unrequited or lost love, either where one party is oblivious to the existence of the other, where one party has moved on, or where a romantic affair has affected the relationship.

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Does *wanting* to write crossovers count? lol I want, so badly, to do more crossovers and fusions (which...are kinda deeper versions of crossovers in a way). The only one I do have posted is a crossover between Highlander and Torchwood -

The Immortal Mr. Jones A series of vignettes (some long, some short) in the life of the newly immortal Ianto Jones. My most ambitions project that I have been working on since late 2011/early 2012 is a fusion of the Avengers with Stephen King’s the Stand. I will get that done at some point *shakes fist*  The Stand, for those who don’t know it, is an epic 1000+ page novel about a flu epidemic (I know) that wipes out over 99% of the population and then two figures representing Good and Evil pull the survivors in two directions for a showdown. So basically it’s a non-powered modern AU set in that universe. It’s a passion and comfort project. lol

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. Well, minor bitching back when I was in a prior fandom because I tagged a pairing in a fic but it was pre-slash and not labeled as pre-slash. I got hate on...I think it was Torch Song? And I’ve gotten hate on tumblr re me and my fic in general as well. Fandom! *jazz hands* Oh! And I’ve also been hit by those reviewers within Winterhawk (among general Clint pairings actually) who like rate you on either number scales or the “meh” scale. Which isn’t hate exactly but...it’s passive aggressive bullshit because I can’t believe none of them realize at this point that the authors can see their bookmarks - you know?

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Do I write it well? I have no idea. lol

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of. Well...there was, I think, one of those reposting sites that had a few fics on it but I don’t think it was being passed off as someone else’s? I can’t quite recall. It’s why I have a note on AO3 about reposting my work anyway.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not entirely, but sort of. Let me explain - I am part of a PBEM game; which for those unfamiliar since it’s a term that was most heavily in use 15-20 years ago, in which you basically do a round robin type writing thing but rather than everyone writing the same characters you write your own characters and you play off what other people have done. Another way of looking at it is  it’s basically DnD without dice and written down rather than done out loud. You also don’t have to all be around at the same time. It’s a lot of fun and yes I have been in it for 20 years even though there aren’t many of us left but they are some of my dearest friends and fabulous writers. Wins all around.  One of the other writers and I have actually toyed with the idea of doing a co-written fic actually, mostly because we work super well together and keep getting ideas for things but can’t really do them as rpgs since the pbem style isn’t used much anymore.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Winterhawk probably. Though, let’s be real - Han & Leia are epic and amazing as are John & Delenn (from Babylon 5).

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Does wanting to expand The Black Stallion books as a wee child count? lol Not much of that was written save for world building ideas but there was a great oral tradition of telling stories to my friends. Otherwise...maybe a tie between Star Wars and Highlander. Star Wars was a love since I was super young but the writing bug didn’t hit me until around the same time Highlander was a thing as well.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You rearrange me till I’m sane for sure. Though Torch Song, if it were finished, would be tied I imagine (I suck at picking favorites). Honorable mention to Puck Luck and Indelible. Tagging: I have seen this like a million times (okay 5) so I feel like everyone has been tagged already that I know. But...I guess... @vexbatch @crazycatt71 @heartonfirewrites and @disruptedvice sorry if anyone has been tagged before.

[pixie88]

Raking up the Past

Chapter 8 - Always the Bridesmaid.

A/N: This chapter is a flash back chapter. I’ve had it in my drafts for 4 days now reproof reading over and over again. It is upsetting I hope it doesn’t trigger anyone. I hope you like it.

If you would like to be ADDED or REMOVED just let me know!

Read previous chapters HERE!

Warnings: Fluff, NSFW & Angst (Euthanasia)

Word Count: 2507

Pairings: Laila x Josh / Laila x Harry

Enjoy!

9 Years Earlier

"That's it? You can't save me? I've just got to wait to die?" Tears start to roll down his face, Laila grasps his hand. He looks up at her, she was his life, they were supposed to grow old together, even get married, he fazed out and doesn't hear what else the doctor has to say. "How long?" his words come out almost as a whisper.

He can tell by the expression on his face that he has months rather than years "It's hard to say Mr. Wilkins...." Josh lets out a little laugh, "Because you know its weeks maybe months at a push?" Josh's tone is bitter "Mr. Wilkins...." Josh gets up from his seat and storms out of the doctors office and rushes through the hospital corridors until he's outside where he can breath again.

He looks around at people walking past him. If they only knew! Why me? What have I done? He thought as he watched them all just getting on with their lives while he was on borrowed time. "Josh?" she grabs his arm breaking him from his thoughts. He turns her eyes are puffy and swollen he was going to leave her, he'd be dead in the ground soon and she would be living her life possibly with someone else.

It broke his heart he wouldn't be the man she got to have kids with even grow old with "Josh, I'm..." she doesn't know what to say. He cups her face "Hey, it's OK," he kisses her lips "How can you say it's OK? It's anything but!" He wraps his arms around his fiancée "Because now I have to live my life to the fullest. Do all the things I keep saying I'm going to do!" he smiles softly at her. She was going to lose him, but she wanted him to do everything he was planning to do with his life.

A few days later, her heart is racing she can't believe he convinced her to do this, well it was more like he guilt tripped her into it "Laila! It's going to be fine! I wouldn't make you do anything that wasn't safe!" he tries to reassure her, but the higher the plane got the less she was convinced "Do you want to go first?" Josh calls over, she didn't, but then she couldn't watch him do it either.

She nods. The quicker I jump the quicker I get my feet on the ground right? She thought. Now she is outside the plane, feet dangling, she's strapped to some stranger's chest "We'll jump after 3! Are you ready?" She nods even though she wasn't ready "1.....2..." they jump at first Laila screams, but then she looks round it's beautiful and amazing.

Her screams fade "Whooooooooo! YES!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!" She was so glad he had pushed her to do this with him.

A few minutes later she lands firmly on the ground. She is buzzing as she gets unclipped she looks up, watching Josh, who isn't far behind her. As he lands he's beaming "I told you that you would love it, didn't I?" She runs over to him colliding with him "It was amazing!! Thank you," he wraps her tightly in his arms "Thank you for doing it with me!"

They change out of their jumping gear, she's not sure if it's from the jump or the adrenaline, but she is turned on. They sign out and head back to the car "Can I add something to this buckle list?" She smiles at him as they get into the car, "Of course! What do you want to add?" She bites her lip "We need to find a country road" he looks at her puzzled.

She turns on the engine and drives.

She had been driving for half an hour when she found a deserted and secluded layby. She brings the car to a halt, turns off the engine. She looks around you can't see the main road "Laila? Why have we stopped here?" She leans over pulls up the lever from under his seat which slides the seat further back.

She jumps onto his lap, straddling him, she claims his lips with hers as she unclips his seat beat. He gets the hint as she begins to grind her hips with his "Laila, you want to..here?" She takes his hand in hers and guides it into her underwear where he finds she's soaked "Shit baby!" His kiss becomes more fierce, he works against her clit and she starts to unbutton his jeans.

She doesn't want to make love she wants rough, spontaneous sex.

Pulling him free, he pulls her underwear to the side, she guides him to where she needs him most. Thrusting up, he's entered her and she starts to ride him, he grasps a fist full of her hair pulling her head back. His nips her neck "Mark me!" She demands, he doesn't argue he bites and sucks against her neck as she digs her nails into his shoulders through his t-shirt. She starts to ride him harder, he thrusts up pushing deeper into her.

He pulls down the top part of her dress exposing her breast "Make them yours" she moans. He nips and sucks down to her nipple, she pulls his lips back to hers and grasps his lip between her teeth, making him hiss "Damn baby! If I known jumping from a plane got you this hot I would have had us doing it eve...." she rotates her hips shutting him up "Fuck me!" She smirks "I am!!"

"I'm not sure how......oh fuck yes.....longer....oh god baby just like that....I'm going to.....Laila your going to make me come......doing that" her efforts double she grips his shoulders tighter as she draws closer to her own high. "Ohhh....shit baby...fuck yess!" His body jerks and tightens as he hit his climax. She doesn't let up her pace she rides him harder feeling her own high build "Come on baby! Come for me! Let me feel you!" she falls over the edge "Josh!!!"

They both try to catch their breath, Josh smiles "That was something new!" he brushes her hair out of her face. She smirks at him "I love you" he smiles "I love you too, Laila!"

6 Months Later

Josh had gone down hill fast, he managed to get 97% of his bucket list done 3 months after he was told they couldn't do anything. He hadn't left the house for 3 weeks, he was barely able to get out of bed the past week. He hated being like this, Laila was slowly turning into his carer he didn't want that for her or that to be her lasting memory of him.

"You should go!" She shook her head "Josh, you need me here," he sighs, "Laila, my mum will be over soon...go! You need a break and I'm not going anywhere fast! Go and have a few drinks with Nikki let your hair down" He laughs making her smile.

She huffs "Fine..I'll go! But only for as long as your mum can stay for!"

Half an hour later Louise arrives and takes over, he entwines his fingers through hers. He's reluctant to let her go "I can give it a miss if you want?" He puts on a fake smile "No, you go!" He kiss her knuckles before cupping her face, running his thumb over her cheek.

"Are you sure?" She kinda hope he changes his mind, she doesn't feel right having a good time while he's laid up in bed "Yes...now go!" She laughs, "OK!" She turns and he grasps her arm, she turns back to him "Laila....I...I love you! Have fun!" He weakly pulls her towards him, he captures her lips.

His hand is on the nape of her neck, he deepens the kiss. She smirks against his lip "Josh! Your mum is just next door!" He chuckles "I don't care!" the kiss turns more passionate and Laila pulls away.

Josh hasn't been well enough to be with her in that way for the past 6 weeks not that she minded she was just grateful he was here to cuddle her to sleep.

"I love you too! I will see you later," she smiles at him, he nods. She grabs her coat and says goodbye to Louise on her way out.

Nikki has never seen Laila like this before, she's seen her tired, but today she looked exhausted. Being the friend she is, she told her she looked beautiful and held her tight. She could see the pain in her eyes, she needed to make sure, if only for a few hours she forget what was happening at home and just have some fun.

~*~*~*~

Nikki tried to persuade her to have one more drink, but she wasn't having any of it. She headed home as she rounds the corner, she spots the black private ambulance outside their building. Her heart drops before she realises, she runs, but her feet are barely carrying her.

She spots an upset Louise in front of the building's main door "Lou!" She calls out "Lou! What happened?!" She asks her hoping she had got it all wrong. She turns towards Laila as soon as turns in her direction she knows "Laila...he's.....he's gone!"

She collapses to the ground shrieking, "NO! Josh!!" she hysterical.

Louise tries to help her up, but she dead weights "Laila, come on. Let's get you inside darling!" She slowly gets off the ground as Louise helps her up and into the flat.

"What.....happened? He...was...OK when I left!" She asks through the tears, "I was cleaning the flat. I left him by himself for like 30 minutes and when I came back I found the pills and him...." she cuts off.

Laila can't believe it "But he wouldn't do that! Not Josh!" She can't compute he would take his own life. Why would he do that?

Laila gets up and heads toward the bedroom she notices the empty painkiller packets by the bed.

"Louise?" She hears her come up behind her, she turns "Where did those come from?" She points towards the packets.

Louise looks shocked "Erm....I...erm...I guess your medication cabinet?" She shrugs her shoulders "But we never had that many in there!" She's confused "Maybe he has been taking them out stocking them up each time you buy a new packet?" Louise suggested.

"No, I would have noticed! I haven't brought any in weeks!" She knows there is more to the story than she is letting on "Louise, did you bring them here?" She can't believe she's asking this but there isn't any other explanation. Louise looks shocked "What no!!!" But as soon as she says that she knows, her face gave her away!

"LIAR!!" Laila hisses at her, she breaks "OK! I did! Laila! You have to believe me! I didn't want this, but he begged me to help him!" Laila runs to the toilet and Louise chases after her "Laila, I'm sorry! But he couldn't face you turning into his carer. He didn't want you to remember him like that!"

She's hunched over the toilet, wiping her chin. She turns to Louise "GET OUT!" She ordered her "Laila...please!" Her blood boils "I SAID GET OUT!!! GET.......THE.....FUCK....OUT!!!" Laila screams at her.

Not wanting to upset her further Louise gathers her things and leaves, telling her she's sorry as she closes the door.

She collapses on the bathroom floor. He could've had months left! Why would he take his own life knowing it was cut short as it were? These thoughts haunted her for weeks, even months. The only answers she had were what Louise had told her.

Before the funeral, she tried to contact Laila numerous times but had no luck. At the wake she corners her "Laila, how are you?" She little out a laugh "How am I? After you helped my fiancé take his own life? How the fuck do you think I feel?" Louise is a little taken back she knew she was angry still, but she didn't expect this.

"Laila, please you have to believe me, I wouldn't have done it if he didn't beg me!" Laila is just full of hate towards her "Have you told anyone?" She knew there was a reason she wanted to speak to her so badly. But despite what she had done Louise and Steve had lost a son and Naomi a brother as she had lost her fiancé. She believed that the fact Louise would have to live with the fact she helped her son take his own life punishment enough.

"No and I'm not going to I couldn't do that to Steve and Naomi...I take it he doesn't know?" She shook her head "He doesn't know" this somewhat was a relief to Laila knowing she wasn't the only one out of the loop.

"Well, I'm not going to tell anyone but after today I never want to see your face again" Louise is stunned "Laila, we need each other to get through this!' She rolls her eyes at Louise "I don't need you! Your husband and daughter does!" She walks off leaving her stunned.

After that day Laila hadn't seen or heard from her, Steve did reach out a couple of times but after a while they lost contact.

Present Day

"Louise?" She was face to face with this woman she never wanted to see again. "Laila? Who's this?" Harry asks, "Louise" she doesn't elaborate Harry holds out his hand "Sorry Laila must've forgotten her manners, I'm Harry her friend" Louise smiles at him and takes his hand "Hi Harry, I'm Louise....Laila ex fiancé mum"

It clicks!

She had told him a little about Josh not the part Louise played, but he knew as soon as she said ex fiancé she was talking about Josh "Oh! I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your son!" She smiles softly at him "Thank you! How are you Laila?"

She couldn't do this she could stand there and pretend it was all OK even 8 years later. She turns on her heels and storms off in the other direction "Laila! Wait!" She hears Harry call out after her, she gets 3 aisles away before he caught up with her bring her to a stop "Hey! I know it must be hard to see his family but there was no need to be rude"

"Rude??? What like her not telling her son's fiancée he was planning on ending it all earlier than expect with her help!" She didn't mean to blurt it out it but just came out before she could stop it. She hadn't told anyone not her family or friends no one knew until now.

Harry knew now but why did she tell him? He looks at her in shock "What?"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 9.

@lem-20 @secretaryunpaid @irisofpurple @aussieez @shewillreadyou @khoicesbyk @txemrn

[bonjour-rainycity]

The Long Way Around ~ Chapter 7

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623403705475219456/the-long-way-around-chapter-6

Pairing: Jasper x Reader

Word count: 2208

Warnings: None

Y/n’s POV

It’s been around six months since I joined this new life. I can feel my newborn strength fading by the day, though my bloodlust does not show me the same mercy. I’ve yet to have a true encounter with a human, and I hope to avoid one for a very long time. I have no doubt in my mind that I would lose control. Jasper says it’s normal, that I’m doing well, and that I shouldn’t worry about the future and instead focus on improving today. Some days I believe him, some days I don’t. I guess it all comes with the territory of being thrust into a life you never thought could exist.

My case hasn’t had any leads since they arrested my assailant, though, since there’s no body to find, I don’t suppose I can assign any blame. I’m old news now, except for the occasional plea from my parents or a friend for anyone who knows something to come forward. Those break me every time. It pains me more than I ever thought possible to see the people I love hurting and know their hurting is in vain, but not be able to do anything to ease it because I will literally kill them. Carlisle and Esme have taken a few trips on my behalf, for which I am endlessly grateful. A run-in at the grocery store here or a quick drive by their house at night. It’s not much, and it hurts deeply to not be able to take the errands myself, but I think it would be worse not to know how they’re doing.

My self-control has gotten slightly better. I’m down to hunting only about once a week now. I fill my newfound free time with odds and ends. I read books, decorate my room, let Alice do my hair, work on learning Spanish, and play board games with the other vampires in the house. It’s nice to start seeing them more as friends rather than roommates. It certainly makes shoving myself into their daily life much more bearable.

Jasper still doesn’t let up with his constant babysitting of me, but I don’t mind it like I used to. In all honesty, we’ve become pretty great friends. He definitely knows me better than anyone else in the house, and I would seek out his company even if it wasn’t a necessity. Right now we’re reading through all the Harry Potter’s together just to pass the time. Esme was very encouraging of our project, even buying two copies of each book for us and one copy of each book in Spanish, to help with my studies. She’s so thoughtful. Jasper didn’t like the books at first, but at my and Bella’s behest, stuck with them. I think he had trouble getting into them because he didn’t grow up reading them. But now we’re on book five, and if we go more than two days without reading a chapter, he bugs me about it. It’s kinda cute. As both of us tend toward the introvert side of the spectrum, we spend much of our days in one of our rooms. Seldom are we apart, so it surprises me when he sends Emmett, Arthur, and Rosalie with me to hunt and doesn’t include himself. Hurt that I really hope he doesn’t notice pricks at me. He probably just needs a break, relax. You guys do spend a lot of time together…maybe you’re getting on his nerves. But I don’t protest outwardly, not wanting to seem annoying. Besides, I like everyone in my entourage just fine and spending quality time with them wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Have fun. I’ll uh, see you later.” While Jasper’s voice is calm, he looks anywhere but my eyes.

I try not to let my hurt show, but I know he must feel it. “Okay, you too.”

He offers me a smile that seems strained.

Once more, I brush off my insecurities and follow Rosalie outside to meet the guys. Emmett is grinning broadly, wringing his hands together.

“Since we ditched the wet blanket, I thought we’d hunt something a little more fun today,” He proposes, a gleam in his eye. Despite my down mood, I can’t help but be terribly interested.

“What did you have in mind?”

{***}

Bears. Bears were what he had in mind. I let out a shout of exhilaration as I wrestle with a grizzly five times my size. It’s a ridiculously intoxicating feeling to grapple with one of nature’s most feared predators and come out on top. It makes me feel so capable. And, unsurprisingly, grizzly blood is leagues better than that of a puny deer. I make a commitment to do this much more often.

By the end of it, my clothes are history, but thankfully, Rosalie thought to pack a change in our backpacks. She leads me behind a tree to change, laughing when we hear growls from both men and bear. They’re nearly indistinguishable, and the difference wouldn’t be perceptible at all to human ears.

But Jasper’s absence is still bothering me. This seems like something he would love, and it’s weird that he seemed intent on avoiding it. Did I do something to upset him? I weigh my options, and decide Rosalie is a trustworthy enough person to risk asking. It’s better than not knowing and letting my insecurities run wild.

Still, I try to sound unaffected, not wanting to reveal how much I actually care. “I wonder why Jasper didn’t want to join? Bears are so much more fun.”

Not at all fooled, Rosalie chuckles. “Jasper had some business in town to attend to. He can’t take you with him, for obvious reasons, and I guess he thought the three of us wouldn’t be that bad of a trade.”

I nod, feeling a bit better. It’s just an errand then, nothing I did personally.

But Rosalie grins, not done with me yet. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just hoped I wasn’t annoying him or something.” I shrug, wanting to exit this conversation as quickly as possible.

“Please, I don’t think Jasper could ever be annoyed by you.”

Wait, what? “What do you mean?”

Rosalie laughs, pulling a twig out of my hair. “He hangs onto your every word. He waits on you hand and foot.” When I don’t respond, Rosalie raises her eyebrows, disbelieving. “You really haven’t noticed?”

I shrug, quickly running through the past six months of my new life. “I guess I just thought it was his job.”

Rose scoffs and shakes her head. “No. Now that he knows your limits he really only needs to be with you when you hunt.” She shrugs. “He enjoys your company.” Then, with the teasing smirk of an older sister, she begins to walk away. “Do with that information what you will.”

She leaves me, and I stand, stunned. So for the past who knows how long, Jasper has chosen to spend all that time with me? The realization makes my dead heart feel something I don’t recognize, something tender. Since Edward’s not here it makes no sense to police my own thoughts. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I totally seek out Jasper’s company too, regardless of the need for oversight. With him, everything is just so natural; I feel perfectly at home in this completely strange life. I gulp, not really sure what that all means.

Thankfully, Emmett saves me from figuring it out at the moment.

“Hey kid, let’s go! It looks like it’s gonna rain.”

We speed home, all wary of Alice’s reaction if we were to ruin even more items of her carefully curated designer clothes.

As it is, she gives me a disapproving look the moment we walk through the door. “Next time, please wear something more expendable.”

I frown, feeling bad, and Arthur grabs Alice’s hand and distracts her with a kiss before she can chastise me further.

“Sorry, Alice.”

But she only smiles, all traces of a sour mood gone.

I can hear Jasper shuffling papers down in the basement and I automatically take a step in that direction. Then, I pause, deciding that it might be beneficial to test Rosalie’s theory. So instead, I drop my bag by the couch, turn on my heel, and head upstairs to my room. I pick book off my shelf and wait.

Not three minutes later I hear his steps on the stairs and his knock on the door.

“Hey, can I come in?”

I pat the spot on the bed beside me. “Of course. How was town?”

He raises his eyebrows.

I smile guiltily. “Rosalie mentioned you had business there.”

He chuckles and sits, seeming more comfortable now. “Yeah, town was good. Got everything taken care of.”

Now it’s my turn to raise my eyebrows, but it quickly becomes apparent that he does not intend to expand upon the term ‘business’, so I let it go. “Emmett took me bear hunting.”

Jasper grins and pulls his legs into a criss-cross, leaning his back against the wall. “What’d you think?”

“So much better than deer,” I enthuse. His grin widens. I make a face like I’m suddenly remembering something. “Oh, I left my bag downstairs. Be right back.”

And before I can even swing my legs off the bed, he’s standing, shaking his head. “No, you look comfortable. I got it.”

A thrill so strong I know he feels it rushes through me. Rosalie might not have been too far off. Still, I school my expression by the time he returns.

I express my appreciation and decide to try the next reaction I want to test. I recount, in excruciating detail, my bear hunt. And, just as Rosalie said, he hangs onto my every word. He laughs at each bad joke and grins at each clear exaggeration. He actually listens. I can’t believe I’ve never noticed this before.

And then I feel a little bad for experimenting on him without his knowledge, so I try to make up for it. “Is there anything you want to do tonight?”

He shakes his head immediately. “I’m fine with doing whatever.”

“No,” I laugh, grabbing his arm and giving it a light shake. “You always have to do what I do and you’re such a good sport. It’s my turn to try something you like.”

He thinks, and then smiles almost self-consciously. “Well, okay. There’s this cliff and waterfall  about eighty miles north of here that’s absolutely gorgeous. And, being virtually indestructible and all, it’s really fun to jump from the top and land in the pool of water beneath it. I haven’t been in forever.”

I smile as I stare up at him, game for anything he suggests. “Let’s do it.”

“Really? You’re sure?” I definitely am, but even if I wasn’t, his wide, excited beaming would make me say yes. It’s just too sweet to turn down.

“Absolutely.”

He stands then, evidently ready to put our plan in action. “Just don’t tell Esme.”

I want to question why, but suddenly remember Esme’s tragic experience with cliffs. I agree readily. As quietly as possible so as not to attract attention, we decide to gather our necessities and meet at the stairs in five minutes. I throw on a swimsuit Alice had the forethought to buy under an unassuming outfit. I grab one of my towels from the bathroom and toss it in my backpack. After a moment’s consideration, I add The Order of the Phoenix, feeling that it can’t hurt to bring it along. As planned, we join at the top of the stairs and walk slowly down, trying not to be too noticeable. But of course, it doesn’t work out that way, and we’re spotted the minute we make it to the kitchen.

“Where are you two going?” Esme’s question throws me off guard, and I panic.

“Hunting.”

Jasper eyes me clandestinely, obviously not pleased with my lack of improvisation finesse.

Emmett appears then, teasing. “What, bears not enough for you?”

Thankfully, Jasper’s at the top of his game. “Interacting with the humans in town today was a little much for me. I’d rather err on the side of caution.”

“What do you need Y/n for? To watch and shout encouragements?” Emmett laughs heartily at his own strange sense of humor.

Esme smiles, and I can’t tell if she fully believes us or not. Nevertheless, she lightly pushes on Emmett’s shoulder, directing him out of the kitchen with instructions to “leave us be”.

Once outside, I work to hold in my giggles until we’re out of earshot.

“Well, remind me to never involve you in a lie.” Jasper’s voice is teasing, and he pokes me lightly in my side.

I roll my eyes, unable to stop the laughter. “I panicked! I didn’t expect anyone to actually ask. Did they believe us though?”

Jasper shakes his head slowly, considering. “They were definitely suspicious. But for now, we’re in the clear. Just remind me to catch a deer or something on the way back so I won’t be a total fraud.”

I smile, mirth emboldening me to take his hand. And with that, we break into a run, excited to reach our destination.

A/n I work like every day this week so I probably should have spaced out posting these chapters. Whoops! Buuuut I’ve had a really fun time writing them and I’ve just been excited to get them out. So this week will probably be slower with the updates, sorry! Still, let me know what you thought about this chapter and if you would like to be added to the tag list!

xx, 

Bjr

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/623575983503638528/the-long-way-around-chapter-8

Tag list: @puer-de-infinitate @charliestuff @hindustani-diaspora @one-thread-can-save-a-life @salsameter @enchantedcruelsummer @meashy-moo @sana-li

[djarinsidebitch]

Mandalorian & Flyboy

A/N: yes I know that other Mandalorians can take their helmet off but lets just say that reader cannot  Word count: 3.4k

As the war against the first order dragged on rumors about where the information gained on the first order started to pop up. When communication officers let it loose that there hasn't been any major intelligence missions in over 6 months. Rumors of a spy in such deep cover that the resistance cant even know, others of the information being bought from outside sources, Poe himself is caught listening into the base gossip. When he asks Leia she just shrugs it off going back to the task at hand. If he didnt know how good of a lier the General is he would have just let is slide, he kinda did shaking off anyone who asked the elite Commander what he thought just continuing with missions ‘The information isn't putting us in danger so why think about it’ he remembers remarking to a group of newer pilots when they again were asking about the rumors.

The idea almost completely left his mind when he caught a glimpse of Painted Beskar retreating into the forest from a back entrance of the hangar where he was working on small repairs to his x wing, it took a few seconds for him to process what he saw, or thought he saw; A Mandalorian some of the best warriors in the galaxy but very few are left they have become more of myth some believing that they are all gone. A possible mandalorian sneaking out of the base… the General. “Fuck!” he exclaims shooting up running to the general’s quarters expecting to see the worst he burst in only to see the General looking over a data pad  “poe is there a reason you are bursting into my quarters at this hour?” she asks he sputters “I-I there was someone who left your quarters that i had never seen before” he breathes out putting his hands on his waist “I wanted to make sure you were ok” he nods  now feeling slightly embarrassed “Poe no one was in here, get some sleep you have been working to hard” leia says calmly shooting poe from her quarters.

Poe left to his own quarters even more confused he could have sworn that he saw someone, something, leave from the base but tried to put it to the back of his brain ‘I am just tired’ he repeats in his mind going through the motions to go to sleep; which is just pulling off his clothes throwing them over on a chair in his room then flopping onto his bed. He fell asleep but it was almost like his head just hit the pillow when the morning call came out over the loudspeaker waking him up. He goes through the motions of getting up and ready BB-8 rolling around waiting for Poe, as a commander he was ordered to a mission briefing it was based on new information on trade routes used by the first order. Hearing this poem\ is thinking again about what he saw last night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poe decided that he wanted to get to the end of this person that has been in his mind, once a week he watched from behind his X-wing when a Mandalorian snuck into base went to where the general’s quarters where for about an hour then would sneak back out. Then the next day he would have a meeting about new information on a different topic. He finally had enough after a month and a half of watching the Mandalorian in there painted and dirty beskar mysteriously come and go in the base he went to the leia to get answers without starting even more rumors not everyone like mandalorians seeing them as brutish or savage like bounty hunters who care on of credits.

After a mission brief he stayed behind as everyone except Leia left “General” he asked, gaining her attention from the holotable “Yes Poe is there something you need?” “Well yes, who is the Mandalorian I keep seeing leave the base” he cringed at himself at being so brash. Leia let out a sigh shaking her head slightly “it seems you met my new opritave” “He is resistance?” “SHE is a bounty hunter and informative as to what is going on in the underworld” leia explains briefly not giving up to much information “Why work with bounty Hunters how do we know she isn't just selling our information to the first order” he responds confused “the first order along with the empire killed off most of the mandalorians and mandalore, those who survived mostly don't want to work for the first order unless they really need the credits. And i know her she may be in a dark line of work but her heart is true” leia turns off the holotable going to leave the conference room also leaving poe with new questions ‘why are you helping the resistance; how much are you getting paid’ the resistance already has low funding so how are you getting paid at all ‘have you done anything else than just gain information for the resistance' poe  could feel himself get frustrated with this and mentaly decides that he is going to talk to the Mandalorian and get some answers.

When it came time for your weekly meeting with Leia you transferred the information into her data terminal while chatting with the general, more like she talked and you listened, nodded or gave small replies. As you leave the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, someone is near, your strides pick up slightly leaving the base of your ship. Taking the long way to your ship you catch a glance of someone following you so hiding behind a tree waiting for the assailant to walk past you, just like baiting a trap he walks past you and in and instant you grab him putting the man into a choke hold while holding your trusted baster to the side of his head.

“Why are you following me” The distorted voice grunts through her helmet, poe puts his hands up in surrender “I just want to talk i've been watching you come and go and i just want to know who you were” he chokes out looking in his peripheral vision and is met with an emotionless visor staring back. You losen the grip on his neck dropping your arm but only to search his body for a blaster “i didnt come armed im not stupid your a madalorian” a dejected sigh is herd through the helmet as you go to sit om a fallen tree and motions with your blaster towards a stump near her. Poe gets the message and sits there is a silence when she finally takes a deep breath “i you are just going to stare i have better things to do”   “Wait not, shit ok, i'll just be straight forward, Why are you helping us, the resistance; bounty hunter normally don't care about any of this just about what keeps their pockets filled”  You are visibly irritated by the off hand comment about bounty hunters “I am not most Bounty hunters, but it seems you are like most flyboys nothing more than moof milkers who think just because they can fly a star fighter they are important” The mandalorian stands holstering her blaster “be glad i didn't put a hole in you fly boy” You growl out stomping away to your ship.

Poe sat there cursing himself he just insulted a mandalorian, not just any a really hot, resistance fighting Mandalorian “leia is going to kill me”

Poe thought it was safest to stop watching you when you came to the base not wanting to anger you more. Until he was asked to meet with Leia on the day you make your drops. He knew it wouldn't be good so when he walked in to see the general and you sitting there you more just leaning against the wall your visor felt like it was staring into his soul “Poe i thought you should properly meet our friend after your stint in the woods” she says almost standing between the two of them “how?”  “I told her moof milker” You snear “(Y/n)” Leia scolds the mandalorian. “If you are going to be so interested in my dealings enough to follow her to her ship you might as well know who she is to the resistance” she continues  “(Y/N) here is a bounty hunter and spy for the resistance her father helped with taking out groups of imperial loyalist shortly after the fall of the empire.” as she started talking about her past briefly he looked over her leaning form her armor had blue grey paint over parts of her helmet, her shoulder pauldron had a mud horn on it, the rest of her armor was silver beskar that was slightly worn from years of use and he can see the top of a pack that matched the silver beskar partially covered but and small cape. “She is here to help us gain information on the first order without having to put our numbers at more risk, she can get more done than a full squad of fighters can and we don't have the numbers anymore.”  “I can also get places you can’t” you grunt out and stands walking over to stand in front of poe looking him up and down behind your helmet and thinking ‘he isn't to bad looking’ “(Y/N) Djarin” you sat curtly “since you are so interested in my work why don't you join the general in my drops” poe can hear the smirk that is placed on your face before you walk out of the room surprisingly quiet for how much armor you are wearing he stared as you left amazing by your voice and thinking over your name in his head “Close your mouth dameron before you catch flies; you are dismissed” she calls out to the dazed pilot shaking her head. Poe just nodded taking a deep breath walking to his quarters BB-8 was waiting outside of the door waiting for his master “Hey buddy” he starts to talk about you to his little buddy “an her name- buddy her name is so pretty” he says dreamyly

Over the next few week he started going to meet the general and (Y/N) he even started to talk to her outside of the meetings walking back to her ship and a few transmissions here and there at first it was just him rambling and you putting your input in here and there but as you got closer you started opening up your family growing up losing your mother at a young age and traveling with your older yet younger brother and father then when he settled down and took off the helmet for good and you put it on changing some things slightly. Talking about visits to your dad and brother between work was the thing that got you really talking, only stopping when you realized you had reached your shipe 5 minutes ago. Poe found out that for a scary bounty hunter you are a dork and he loves it when you realize you have no idea how to truly socialize with anyone that isn't your family or poe. He prides himself on the small chuckles and breathy laughs he can get out of you. If he didn't know better he would think that this flyboy had a shot with this badass woman he has fallen for following her around like a lost dog whenever he could.

You had started to come to base more than just once a week for Poe so when you and him out in the forest surrounding the base and you both hear explosions and the tell tale signs of Tie’s you both jump up running towards the base. It is the First Order they found the base and was able to surprise attack the base X-wings were already scrambling to get in the air. Poe calls for BB-8 while running to his X-wing jumping in getting into the air.

Stormtrooper transport land and whole battalions of troopers unload the battle is in the air and on land You use your two blasters and jet pack to take out hoards of troopers. Once landing you hold out your arm activating your vambrace flamethrower keeping the troopers away from you one shoots you the blaster deflecting off of your shoulder pauldron then you deliver a front kick to another while almost nonchalantly shooting two more troopers. Over the speakers a coded message rings out that was the message to retreat most officers fall back to get onto transports and get hasmany supplies and important information as possible. You try to give as much time as possible to the resistance to get to safety you picks up a larger blaster that one of the dead troopers had and used to to hit more enemies as possible you watch out of the corner of your eye three tie fighters chasing a familiar Black and orange X-wing before the Ties shot it down and it goes down into the forest “No!” you yell, shooting the last troopers she can and take off running towards the towers of smoke rising in the trees.

You run as fast as possible to the crash site hoping Poe is ok. When you get there it is not a pretty sight flames almost cover the entire ship you pull open the cockpit and your eyes widen poe is limp in his seat you pull out your vibro blade form your boot using it to cut him out of his harness pulling him out of the wreckage and presses the button to release his droid pulling him as far from the wreckage right before the ship blows and you cover his body with yours grimacing as shrapnel imbeds itself into the spaces between the plates of armor. Once the explosion stops and it's safe you look down at poe blood blossoming on his abdomen and body “poe” you call out trying to shake him awake; he just shakes limply under your hands you reach to feel a pulse but you can't sense anything “No Poe wake up” you call out tears welling in your eyes blurring your vision “It's not funny poe come on wake up” your voice breaks and you try to do chest compressions anything but nothing changes. BB-8 watches as you try to recestate Poe and responds with sad beeps missing his master. You ripp of the helmet and you feel like it's suffocating you as tears stream down your face mixing with the dirt and sweat on your face. You have felt pain but nothing like this sobs rake your body shaking with pain gripping onto poe “You- You can't do this to be dameron, you can't leave me now” you are blubbering now not caring if any one sees you it feels like a part of you had died.

“You- Fuck- Your so beautiful even- e-even with tears” Poe rasps out barley awake staring at your face contort to confustion then passing back out.

Hearing him makes you jump up grabbing your helmet, slipping it on and then picking up poe running calling out to BB-8 “Come on we gotta get back to my ship!” You  jump over logs, adrenaline coursing through your veins pushing your body to its limits, not caring how much you are gonna hurt in a few hours, just focused on saving power. You see your ship and slow reaching to press the button on your brace to open the cargo door and run up the ramp placing him on the floor knowing it's not the most comfortable but not caring, pulling your helmet back off you rush to grab the box filled with medical supplies and pulling out bacta patches, stim shots, and the emergency cauterizer.  

You pull off his tsttered clothes striping him down to just boxers and looks for the worst wounds on his abdomen and thigh injecting a stim shot then going in with the cauterizer working on shutting the wounds glad that he wasn't awake for this part the smell of blood and burning skin isn't new to you but knowing it's him makes you sick but once you sealed all the major wounds you placed bacta patches on them then using bacta spray on everyone else. You sit there for a second looking over your work then staring at his face it looks calm but it doesn't have the wrinkles from his smiles or the look in his eyes what she watches from behind her visor so seeing it without it is something else. Her com link in her brace goes off and she scrambles to grabs her helmet then connecting, a relieved sigh leaves her mouth it was leia “I'm glad you made it” leia says with somber undertones “(Y/N) i'm sorry to say but we haven't been able to contact dameron he was the only pilot we can't account for he might not have made it” she says sadly he was like another song to her leia was keeping it together for the sake of the resistance “i know he got shot down by three tie i was able to get him and BB-8 out before his ship exploded “ she explained and watched as a new hope filled the general’s eyes “that is amazing how is he’ you sigh looking down at poe now noticing the slight rise and fall of his chest “ he is knocked out now but once he wakes up i will know more” she explains “How did they find you” You ask now no emotion present in your voice back to being a mandalorian  “i don't know we are trying to figure that out but for now get off world and lay low until we can find a new base” Leia says with a sigh “take care of him ok” you nod “always” you sign off and go back to poe looking over him before getting into the cockpit of your own ship and old imperial command ship you had found for cheap and fixed up yourself. Once in hyperspace you come back out to see poe stirring, you quickly kneel down next to him as he opens his eyes “where am i” he looks around frantically until he sees you “(Y/N) he says softly reaching for you “what happened” he asks “you where shot down; i got there just in time before your ship exploded” you explain watching as he grabs onto the bottom of your helmet “i- i saw your face” he says almost unsure “i thought i lost you; you weren't breathing you were gone” your vision went blurry whether that was from tears or the blood loss of your untreated wounds you didn't care and neither did poe as he lifts up your helmet slowly almost waiting for you to stop him… you don't he drops it with a clang and sits up you are quick to help him. He takes your face in his hands staring at you with so much love and emotion in his eyes that he starts crying also “you are so beautiful” he whispers leaning in to kiss you; you meet half way and the kiss is explosive full of passion and sorrow for what could have been lost he moves his hands down the side of your neck to the back pulling you in closer your hands hold onto his cheeksIt is not a pretty kiss it is dirty and sweaty your tears mixing on your cheeks at they are pressed together, the only reason you separate is to breath and even then your foreheads are touching “you are the first person other than my family that has seen my face since i was 11” you whisper out looking deep into his eyes. He smiles rubbing soft circles into the sides of your face “I'm glad you are just so beautiful. I love you so much, i have fora while you are so complex in all the best ways you are anamazing warrior badass in every way but so soft spoken adn dorky i would die a thousand times if it means i can see your face” he confesses tears start filling your eyes again and his voice breaks with emotion “I love you too, your snarky hummor and being dumb enough to follow a mandalorian in the woods; i knew you were the one and as long as  i am arround you are not dying” she responds softly leaning in again to kiss him. Maybe it wasn't horrible that one person saw her face.

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[just-another-writer-cherry]

Part 3

Summary: Y/N still wants the divorce and Camille makes Harry feel like he isn’t enough, until his had enough 

Warning: angst

 Read Part 1 Part 2

___________

Y/N

I’ve been living with my best friend for 3 weeks. It’s been 3 weeks since I asked Harry for a divorce. I don’t regret it, while I’m sad and cry almost everyday, I don’t regret my decision it was the best for me. I recently found out who he was cheating on me with, some girl named Camille. Lucky her I guess....

Today is the day we sign the divorce papers, I would have to see Harry again, I’m not ready. I start to get ready to go to my lawyers office to get this done and over with.

Once I arrive there, the first thing I see is no Harry while I’m kinda relieved I’m also nervous “where is Harry?” I ask my lawyer “ he already came by, drop this on his way” he says handing me a folder, I opened it.

It’s the divorce papers, he sign them already he really doesn’t care. I look up to my lawyer “the only thing left to do is for you to sign them” and without a single hesitation I do. “Done” I said and gave them back to my lawyer.

That’s it I’m no longer Y/N Styles. Worst part is I don’t long to be anymore, he kill the loved that was there, without a reason. I’m sad but at the same time I’m happy

—————

When I enter y/b/n apartment, the first thing I see it’s not her but a guy. He is sitting on the couch. he has blonde hair and has a nice smile. I was about speak but y/b/n interrupted me.

She walked out of the kitchen with a cup of water, I’m assuming it was for the unknown guy. “Hey girl, you’re early was it that fast?” she said all I did was give her a nod then she hands the cup of water to the guy “ok anyways, this is my friend Alex, Alex this is y/n the girl I have been talking to you about” she introduced it us. He puts the cup down on the table and stands up and walks up to me. We shake hands while doing so I say “Nice meeting you Alex, I’m Y/N I hope y/b/n has told u nothing but good things about me” once we are done shaking hands he says “no worries only good things I promise” after that I realize I really like Alex..

Harry POV

It’s been three weeks without Y/N and three weeks with my new love. Mom and sister aren’t too happy but they accept it. Although I do have to say that the past week hasn’t been the best. Camille and I have been kinda distant, she only talks to me when she wants me to buy her something or sex. But I’m sure it’s just a phase in our relationship, soon everything would be back to normal and we can love each other the way we just to. When we were a secret that only we both knew about

I’m in my office at the moment, working on some papers for tomorrow when I get text from Camille.

Camille: We need to talk

What? What does she need to talk about now?

Me: Ok..

Before I can answer something else she respond

Camille: when are you gonna be home?

Me: I’ll be there in 30 min

Camille: Ok

Me: I ��� U

Camille: 👌🏽

She didn’t say I love u back....

________

Once I arrive home, I see Camille sitting on the couch “hey beautiful” I say, I try to go in for a kiss but she move her head. Ok weird

“I’m not happy harry” she said

“What do you mean?” I ask in whisper and worried 

“ you don’t make me happy anymore, you’re not enough for me, gosh! Harry This relationship doesn’t make me happy.” I felt like crying when she said that

“But I can try to make you happy, I love you isn’t that enough?” I said In a hopeful tone of voice

“Sometimes love isn’t enough Harry” she said

“ is there something I can do? Please I will do anything” I said, I was trying really hard not to cry.

“ anything?..” she ask and I nodded

“Well... I want an open relationship”

Not this again, why does she want one. She said she loves me, if she does why does she want this so bad ?...

“Why?” I ask

“Because Harry I already told you, you’re not enough, I need excitement and someone that can I actually make me cum! You’re not exciting, I have hope you will change if you love me, which is why I want an open relationship.”

Ouch all of that hurt, I felt like someone just stab me with a knife. I’m not enough not even sexually.. but she is giving me a chance to fix this , but is she?...

“Ok” I say sounding defeated

She claps her hands, makes her way towards me, kisses me and starts to walk to the door.

“ where are you going?” I ask turning around

“ oh silly me I forgot to tell you, well I met this dude named Mike and he is cute, so I wanna get to know him more... don’t wait for me bye..” she says going out the door

I was left there sanding, confused looking and feeling stupid and like I wasn’t enough..

_________

6 Months Later

Y/N POV

Happy. That’s exactly how I feel, I feel happiness. Alex and I have been together for a while now. We when on several dates together and had the time of our lives. I learn to trust him and love him. Yes I love Alex, he makes me happy and feel like the only girl in the world. Now here we are, in a beautiful restaurant celebrating our 6 month anniversary. “I’m so happy to be here with you” Alex said to me. “I’m so happy too” I told him. 

Even after all this months of dating, we still haven’t done something that most couples would have. Sex. We haven’t had sex yet. No because I don’t want, cause trust me I do, but because I don’t want my relationship to be based on that, so we haven’t done it yet. Plus what harry said really did hurt me because He took my virginity. So him saying I’m not good in bed really hits home and makes me insecure. But I know Alex will understand me and he will wait for me.

“I love you” I told him

He smile and kiss me. His soft lips touching mine, molding perfectly agains each other. “I love you more” he whisper back “Y/N, you have no idea how happy you make me, you have giving me more than anybody. I love you babygirl, don’t ever leave” we kiss again and I know everything would be better. 

Harry POV 

6 Months Later

it’s been six months since I lost the best thing that ever happened to me. My princess, My world, My baby, My Y/N. I have made the biggest mistake of my life and lost the only good thing that happened to me. Instead I’m stuck with the snake Camille is. Turns out bitch only wanted to stick around only for money, no because of love. She is whore, Y/N was right. 

Fuck, Y/N I have been thinking about my girl ever since I realize what a Mistake I had made. I miss her, her lips, her body against mine, her cooking, her beautiful smile, and most important our love. I miss her every single day. I cannot believe what an idiot I am. I’m snap out of my thoughts by a annoying voice.

“harryy!!” Camile said, I just rolled my eyes

“what?” I asked annoyed

“ Look at this new Channel Bag! its so pretty and only $130,00, Can I please borrow your credit card” She said with puppy eyes 

Another reason why I miss My baby cakes Y/N, she loved me for me and not my money unlike this annoying bitch. 

“Fuck no Camile! what is wrong with you, why do you even needed, what happened to the other 50 in your closet?!” I screamed anger running through my veins. “why don’t you ask Mike?!!” She’s been fucking him for I don’t know how long, I stopped keeping count when I realize what was happening. 

“Gosh Harry! stop bringing mike into this, I love you and only you.” She argue back

Ha! no falling for that one ever again 

“ No you fucking don’t, you love my money, Fuck! you’re a whore, gold digger slut, I should’ve listen to her, my love was right all along, Fuck I’m so stupid and so done with you Cam-” I got interrupted by her 

“You’re still no over that bitch , you’re so pathe-” I stopped her, that’s it no one and I mean no one calls my baby a bitch. I’m so angry I grab the nearest thing and throw on the floor 

“ Fuck! Don’t you ever call my baby a bitch! you’re the only bitch here, fucking whore you are, I don’t ever want to see you! I don’t know why I didn’t finished this sooner god I was so stupid and just so you know everything I ever said to you was a lie, you suck at everything, cooking, sex, blow jobs, folding clothes everything! Fuck my baby gave me a boner faster than you could ever!” I say angry and out of breath, Camille since stun at my sudden outburst and like she is about to cry 

“Fuck you Harry!” she screams with tears on her eyes grabs her bag and leaves

Now that she is gone, time to figure out how to get my baby girl back..

___________________

That was fun to write :)! I Hope you enjoy Part 3 Please let me know what you think, remember please reblog, like and follow me for more. Request are open for anything. THANK U SO MUCH FOR READING

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[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 Officer Thanisson

1. What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about a total stranger?

I guess I don't think about strangers. Is that normal? Maybe it's just because I don't think about sex all that often? Or maybe because I know pretty much everyone onboard now?

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

Uhhh morning I think, it sounds nicer. nice snuggle leading into kissing and then into some… fun. Plus the finalizer is close quarters with others the walls are like paper I wouldn't want to disturb anyone or wake anyone up.

3. What’s your favourite way to be seduced? 

Y/n does this thing where she strokes her fingers across my hand while she makes direct eye contact… it does… things to me.

4. What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve had at work?

I once imagined y/n had snuck to work with me and sat under my desk at the control panel and uhhh sucked me off. Ummmm it was so dirty I had to run home on my break just to finish myself it was so good.

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

I'll be honest. I'd think about it! He's a dick and he's not that bad looking… 

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Hide from the world. Or run back to my room. I am not good at being… outwardly Sexual.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

No! They have cameras everywhere on here even in the bathrooms. I'll just wait till I can go home.

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve thought about while touching yourself?

I once dreamt… about y/n, masturbating while she was on a planet mission, just video calling me showing her laid on this little bed, her breasts bouncing, her pussy glistening, as she Screamed for me. I wish she would sex call me from missions sometimes it would make me so horn- happy. Happy.

9. What’s the strangest prop you’ve used to get yourself off?

We have a little alarm clock. It's meant to be for the kitchen or for work stuff because when it goes off it vibrates, it's meant to vibrate off of whenever you put it and go across the floor so you can't ignore it but uhhh… I have put it down my pants and set it for in two minutes. Fuck I screamed so loudly… feeling myself up the whole time it went off. 

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

I don't remember it exactly I remember like the aftermath like I now know all of training I was horny as fuck I was hard, I was aroused but because y/n was with me I just thought I was nervous but as I watched her walk away I knew… ohh fuck I'm in love aren't I? And uhh something is wrong with my pants.

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

Y/n did, I had never really worked out how to do it without her so I just kinda lives with it and then a date night about ten months into our relationship we laid on my bed making out hard and she slipped her hand down and… well you know what she did.

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Not really. I was on another planet, just kinda staring at her feeling this wave of unexplainable feeling washing over me taking away years if build up frustration.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

No, never.

14. What’s your favourite thing about a quickie?

Just getting it over with getting rid of this stupid thing or or course helping y/n when she needs me desperately too

15. What the most sexually daring thing you’ve ever done?

Everything on our trip to lapliaz, it's a small moon of a planet far from here and we went for a little anniversary trip last spring and uhh everything on lapliaz is an aprohdesiax for humans, and I mean… everything. The food. The water. The air! As you can imagine little cabins are very popular destinations on lapliaz, we had so much sex in the garden, in the rivers, anywhere possibly could. It was a world of sex and I can't wait to go back… for our honeymoon.

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

No… should I have?

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Sometimes, when I'm bored but it always ends up to me just thinking about y/n

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

No! I wait for that sort of thing till I get home 

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes. Many times. Mostly trooper boys in truth or dare but I like it fine

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Uuhhh no. Y/n makes the first move I do not. I am not… that sexual of a boy.

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

To make your partner Happy and to not be a dick.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn’t help yourself?

No! I've only ever done anything with y/n. Except some kissing and stuff with the guys but that was before we where together and she knows about it all I've told her she doesn't mind I had a couple of flings before we got together so did she I would never chest on her never.

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

No! Why would I risk hurting the feelings of the most wonderful girl in the galaxy? Why would anyone do that? 

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Uhhhhh well… I don’t do it much but whenever I do I always Imagine my sweet y/n in her tight first order uniform, bending over and teasing me with her sexy body, or imagining her touching herself in her room, or in her on her little missions hidden away moaning for me

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

I don’t really look at porn. I just imagine y/n if I ever need to, but if I really don’t want my imagination when y/n is away then I’ll bring up some of her beautiful pictures she takes and sends me while she’s away. Or our video’s and pictures from our time on lapliaz

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

A couple of times not on purpose I just sometimes shut my eyes when I get so overwhelmed especially if y/n is on top

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

y/n has blindfolded me so many times she enjoys torturing me, she hasn’t handcuffed me yet but… I wouldn’t put it past her planning it

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

Ughhhhhh well I uhh kinda… when she makes eye contact and says something to me with that evil little smile

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex god?

Well… Yeah, I uhhh….. I’m sure 

30. What’s the dirtiest thing someone’s ever said to you during sex?

“My sexy baby want to be inside me? Hu? Is that what you like? Being inside me? Then make love to me baby” 

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

No! That is weird why would you wanna do that!

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! Who wrote these? This is crazy...

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their “third”?

No thank you, y/n teasing me is enough I do not want another person involved.

34. What’s the most flattering thing someone’s said about your naked body?

“So beautiful, so handsome, how can I stop these desires towards you when you are so lovely” 

35. When’s the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Two nights ago, she was away on a mission to track the rebels and I imagined her in bed with me teasing me and torching me in all the dirty little ways she loves

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Awkward… I am a small introverted boy. I am not that sexual I don’t think I’d enjoy it

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

No! 

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

I don’t like one night stands, I want to be able to cuddle and to have breakfast the next day and… truly feel in love

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

About ten minutes on my own or… with my clock. 

40. What’s the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Y/n’s voice. I can hear her voice call across a room and I have had to put my legs together or cross my legs and force the thoughts that perk up in my mind when ever I hear that beautiful voice 

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No! What is wrong with you people?

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

So many times. Like daily if y/n’s on missions without me. Or her if she’s there

43. When’s the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

……..Yesterday.

44. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while hooking up?

Well cumming to early. And screaming too loud, having people walk in on us, but the worst was that I got the hiccups one time after a very intense make out. 

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

Well I like doing it for her while she’s away if she asks it of me, I’ll let her watch me all she wants but never in the same room… well I would if she wanted me too 

46. What’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent or received?

So many dirty messages of the things she wanted to do to me, all the dirty things she wanted me to do to myself and film it for her she always sends me sweet seductive messages while shes away or while she’s at work there always so good. And they make me miss her even more.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Amateur. I love videos and photos and text massages she sends me I love it all so much

48. What’s your favourite blowjob technique?

Uhhhhhhhhh there are techniques? If I’m getting one I’m overwhelmed and excited she only does it if its really being mean to me, or if I was a very good boy

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Submissive. I am a submissive boy.

50. Is there anything you won’t do in bed?

Anything she doesn’t want and I am never ever doing anything involving like body fluids

51. What’s your dirtiest sexual fantasy? 

I want to take Y/n back to our little cabin by the purple shores on lapliaz, have her tie me to the bed… and so whatever she wants to me for a whole week.

52. How many people have you slept with? 

One just y/n

53. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

On the beach in lapliaz. On the sand together next to our cabin and the woods. 

54. What’s your favourite part of Y/n’s body? 

I love her shoulders, to nuzzle with, to cuddle with, to kiss all over, to give hikis and love bites, I just like her shoulders 

55. Have you ever had anal sex? 

… not on y/n. We have on… me a few times.

56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose? 

Ohh my god I get to choose. Uhhhh I’ll have her dressed in those tight first order pants, her little white shirt with the lace around her arms and chest, and those big chucky black boots.

57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched? 

I like when she ghosts her fingers across my hand, or my V… I love when she just teasingly strokes across me

58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

On lapliaz of course 

59. When did you first had sex? 

One very happy date night on the finalizer 

60. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? 

On Lapliaz! Just letting her torcher me as much as possible

61. What’s your favourite position? 

I love her riding me, she’s so happy because she gets to torcher me, and I get to watch her do whatever she wants to me

62. Have you ever been caught having sex? 

So many times. We just have to double check we locked the door before we get too busy

63. Do you watch porn? 

I watch y/n

64. What kind of porn do you watch? 

Y/n’s photo’s and videos. 

65. How often do you masturbate? 

 Well not so often I don’t get horny too much without y/n here to torcher me, but when she sends me a sweet photo or video.. I can’t help it

66. Name a sex position you’d like to try?

 I wanna try reverse cowgirl! So badly!

67. Do you prefer to give or receive? 

 I prefer to give she’s always so good to me I like giving her something back. And I get so overwhelmed when she gives to me

 68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

 So many times, and I like doing it, I wish we could more often

69. What’s the most sex you’ve had in a day? 

 Sixteen times in one day, but with our honeymoon coming I plan on breaking that record

70. Are you loud or quiet during sex? 

 I love quiet sex. I love trying to stay quiet so knowone hears us

71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay? 

 We tried using chocolate but… the mess it made on the bed was not worth it

72. What’s the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone? 

 Voice, and well… showing an interest in me

73. Would you say you have any fetishes? 

 I like being a sub and letting her have her way with me. Does that count? 

74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go? 

 As far as y/n wants to go

75. What’s your favourite toy? 

 I like the alarm clock,

76. Do you ever read erotic fiction? 

 No, I don’t know where you’d get that from

77. Have you joined the mile high club? 

 Well we often have sex on the finalizer… so? The trillion mile high club?

78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands? 

 I don’t know… I think I could. But I’ll happily try

79. Would you say you’re kinky? 

 Y/n is kinky I just let her have me all she wants

80. Do you enjoy shower sex? 

 I love shower sex, I love when y/n climbs in with me! Its so good

81. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever masturbated? 

 ….Under my desk. Everyone was at lunch so… I put my hand under my pants and thought about my y/n

82. Do you like to be spanked? 

……... Yes. I do

83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex? 

No! Only my y/n

 84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish? 

Well, I’d do whatever she wanted me to. But I don’t really do it if she is around only when she’s away. But if I was then I would do whatever she wanted me to do

85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush? 

Well on y/n. But thats all

86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex? 

I have cried when I get too overwhelmed or when she’s tortured me far to much and I get overwhelmed 

87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex? 

 I love eye contact it does something to me...

88. Do you like to kiss during sex? 

 I love kisses but I rarely get them, she knows I like them during sex so she keeps them from me

89. Do you get tired after sex? 

 Very tired after all the torcher 

90. How many positions do you think you’ve tried? 

 Most of them I think

91. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sex? 

 Six months, she was off on a mission 

92. How high is your sex drive? 

 Mines not all that high but y/n’s is crazy

93. What’s a surefire way to turn you on? 

 Stroke against my skin… it is amazing

94. Sex with lights on or lights off? 

 Lights on, but she likes blindfolding me anyway

95. Do you like dirty talk? 

 Well …..I like it sometimes

96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners? 

 Long term. always

97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom? 

 Bottom.

98.Rough or romantic? 

 Roughly romanic

99. Quickie or marathon session? 

 marathon!!

100. What’s the best thing about our sex life?  

Aww that you’re happy to go along with how… shy and how crazy I am. I love how nothing is ever no, its an open discussion, and I love how much you take care of me my little glaralian flower. And I can’t wait to marry you, and take you back to our little cabin on lapliaz

[winterbites]

Just a quickie something

Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon is coming out October 3rd and I'm hyped 'cause InuYasha is one of my FAVORITE animes.

Now, as I've seen pointed out, Kagome is...nowhere to be found. Wtf, right? And in all the promotional material InuYasha looks distant, which is kinda odd for such a hot-headed and passionate character. Weird af, yea? Popular theory, of course, is that Kagome died but how can only be guessed at.

Did she die of old age? Doubtful, considering her daughter is only 14 and it's most likely only been about 15 years since the ending of InuYasha (Yashahime starts 6 months after InuYasha but Kagome isn't pregnant at that time + childbirth, duh, is a 9 month process + Moroha is 14 = about 15 years). Did she die from a demon? I feel like that shouldn't even be a question (InuYasha, Sango/Kirara and Miroku protecting her + Kaeda 'cause that old lady actually isn't a pushover + she lives in the same village as Rin and Sesshomaru has a goddamn danger tracker attached to that girl + Kagome is probably the most powerful character and she ain't no bitch who can't stand up for herself = she's pretty fuckin safe)(I'm exluding Shippo and Kohaku from this body count 'cause they're no doubt off doing their own things).

Honestly, the most believable way she could've died was childbirth itself 'cause death rates due to that shit were actually pretty high back in the ol' days (on a serious note, CDC states about 700 women die in the U.S. alone due to pregnancy/childbirth-related issues) and it's only gone down because of advancements in modern medicine and medical practices. Kagome willingly chose to live the rest of her life in a rural farm village in a year between the 1400s-1500s (I'm not an expert in Japanese history but the series is set in the 1990s and says the Bone-Eaters Well transports her 500 years into the past), plus all the raging wars so doctors are kinda few and far between...but Sango and Miroku did just fine and they've got 3 children. Even if Kagome died, I would imagine that Sesshomaru would bring his mother into the picture (he might be a complete dick but, once again, Rin exists).

Anyway, another thing is that Shippo is completely missing too. Of course, he has a better reason to be out of the picture (the fox exams or whatever it was called) but I'd like to point out that Shippo is ALWAYS with Kagome when she's separated from everybody else. Always. The only exceptions is when there's absolutely no way for him to follow her (i.e. she goes to the modern era) or when she's kidnapped (and even then he still somehow manages to tag along sometimes like with Koga).

Thirdly, whomst the FUCK laid herself out for a dickhead like Sesshomaru?? Hell yea he's sexy af but even then I would never let a guy like that anywhere near my naked body. More importantly, who tf did Sesshomaru find worthy enough for his dick? You gotta KNOW that egomaniac ain't gonna pick some random ass lady, I'm honestly surprised there hasn't been any mentions of whoever his baby mama is since I find it really hard to believe he'd pull a one-and-done. When finding someone worthy of his dick, he probably spent at least a few months with her or some shit and, by the fact that he not the type to do something just because, he probably liked her too (as shown with Kaguya and contrary to popular belief, romance and the feelings associated with it isn't totally lost him). Kinda sappy but it's true; I don't believe for a second that someone like him would tap it and leave, at the very least he was probably hoping for kids to continue his lineage.

That brings me to my last point: where the fuck is Sesshomaru in all of this? One of his daughters is missing, that I understand he can't do much about, while the other has lost her memories. Ok, but she works under Kohaku, who works (as far as us viewers has seen) under Sesshomaru. Kohaku has most likely moved on from Sesshomaru's wings but I would think they're still quite close (Rin obviously holds him dear to her heart + Kohaku risked his life to save hers on multiple occassions = Kohaku is to be protected as well, at least to a certain extent). Setsuna losing her memories means she probably doesn't remember Sesshomaru is her father and Sesshomaru is JUST enough of an edgy bitch to not be like "ay you my daughter and you got a sister." Dick move.

Anyway, I know this was a whole ass essay but I'm actually really interested to know what y'all are thinkin down in the comments (if you actually cared enough to read through this essay but a girl can hope)

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[aquata-the-champ]

a mean bisexual: a pride playlist for aquata

1. Monte Carlo by Remi Wolf 2. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett 3. QUEEN BEE by Lauren Sanderson 4. Shoot and Run by Maude Latour 5. Don’t Freak by The Aces 6. Drew Barrymore by SZA 7. Last Laugh by FLETCHER 8. Bulletproof by La Roux 9. All About Me by Syd 10. Living Room Floor by Sammy Rae and the Friends

I’ve been wanting to do an Aquata playlist for a while, so this task gave me an excuse to go all in! This playlist is all about having a hard shell and being kind of mean and abrasive so you don’t get hurt, but then you inevitably get hurt and then you gotta refocus and take a long look at yourself. You know, typical Aquata stuff. All queer artists! Breakdown under the cut!

1. Monte Carlo by Remi Wolf

Been two months since I have put my guard away Kinda feels like I just won the lottery I'm hitting three countries in like just two weeks Buttupeh (Buttupeh, buttupeh, buttupeh)

I looove this song. Ever since I first heard it I knew it was an Aquata song. It’s so boisterous and loud and self-aggrandizing and FUN. Just all vibes. Remi Wolf is so funny I love her.

2. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation Living in the past, it's a new generation A girl can do what she wants to do and that's what I'm gonna do

An' I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation Oh no, not me

Most of these songs are super recent, but I wanted to give a nod to queer culture in the 70s and 80s, and the subculture often associated with queer woman in that era. Aquata would have loved the loud and brash aesthetic of Joan Jett’s music and I think this song is so her.

3. QUEEN BEE by Lauren Sanderson

Queen bee I think i'd like it if you sting me And now we're crawling to my backseat You taste like honey when you kiss me Queen bee

This song is about hooking up with someone you’re lowkey obsessed with. And Aquata definitely tries not to show how much she’s into someone, but I thought this song also had kind of an edge, like you’re not entirely ready to show how invested you might get and you’re protecting your feelings.

4. Shoot and Run by Maude Latour

But if you wanna go I'll be your best mistake All's fair in love and war That's just how we play And baby I don't keep my promises I just shoot and run You know it from the start I'll only break your heart I'll break your heart

Another song about liking someone but being afraid to show vulnerability! And even though Aquata hasn’t really broken any hearts I think this is the attitude she wants to have, like not getting super emotionally attached, but if that were to happen, she would have this undercurrent (that I think this song has) where she lowkey really does want to open up.

5. Don’t Freak by The Aces

Don't freak You don't gotta cause a big scene They don't wanna see you melting Just gotta do what they told me Can't sleep 'Cause all my brain does is overthink Scared I'm gonna end up lonely Just gotta do what they told me

This is suuuuch an Aquata song. All about #going through it but you don’t want to show it and trying to put on a totally chill appearance. And I think this works for going through a rough patch with a relationship or just in general and I think it definitely works for all the struggles Aquata has had this year with her attitude and her choices and the consequences.

6. Drew Barrymore by SZA

Am I... Warm enough for ya outside baby, yeah Tell me that it's warm enough here for ya Is it warm enough for ya inside me, me, me, me? Warm enough for ya outside baby, yeah Tell me that it's warm enough here for ya Warm enough outside, inside me, me, me, me

Ugh this song makes me emoooo. Another song about trying to act chill but inside you are super upset. I especially like how this song talks about struggling to fit the picture of femininity (both in being “warm enough” emotionally but also with lines about not being “ladylike” and not shaving your legs) that others might expect. It’s just really raw and real and fits well for Aquata.

7. Last Laugh by FLETCHER

I'ma have the last laugh, ah 'Cause the second you forget me Is the second that I come right back, ah Every whiskey that you're drinkin' You'll be thinkin' how I burn like that Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's me in your dreams Or maybe call 'em nightmares, ah, ah Yeah, I'ma, I'ma have the last laugh

Angry song about revenge! I don’t think Aquata often does get the last laugh, but I think she wants to, and this song is kind of a fantasy for her. It’s just very angry and how she feels a lot of the time.

8. Bulletproof by La Roux

I'm burning bridges shore to shore I break away from something more I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap

Been there, done that messed around I'm having fun, don't put me down I'll never let you sweep me off my feet

This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof

Another song about boisterous confidence. Total Aquata lyrics and she would absolutely dance to this.

9. All About Me by Syd

Take care of the family that you came with We made it this far and it’s amazing People drowning all around me So I keep my squad around me Keep it in the family that you came with Keep enemies close you know the basics People crowded all around me I guess it’s all about me

This song is about refocusing on what’s important when you’re having a hard time and losing yourself, and family is so important to Aquata. I think that’s what she falls back on when things get rough and I think this song also has a lot of the confident stubbornness Aquata often identifies with. 

10. Living Room Floor by Sammy Rae and the Friends

And I am in my own lane I will not let myself down I am in my own place I am my own house And I am in my own lane I will not let myself down I am in my own place I am my own house

This song is also about focusing on what matters, but this time, it’s about seeing how far you’ve come and recognizing that things might happen slowly, but they are happening and it’s important to reflect. And I do think that will really help Aquata, to focus on her “own lane” and really work on herself.

Thanks for coming on this journey with me!!! woooooo