#I kept the comic kinda simple.. i was feeling a certain kind of way when I made it

[dazzelmethat]

In my story all monsters were at one time natural or human and have lost that humanity. If a scientist could turn a plant into a person (homunculi) then anyone can turn back into a person. Personhood is spread as a cure to the supernatural like a viral infection.

This comic is quasi-personal though. It is through the eyes of Ame but also includes some of my own autistic emotional worries. Of progress, discipline, embarrassment of the past self and fear that discipline is the only thing holding you together. 

[fqirysim]

untitled--

genre(s): angst, some fluff at the end, exes to best friends to lovers, highschool au, lowercase intended, lots of pov changes

requested: nope !

pairing(s): yang jungwon x reader, ft. yuna (itzy), and intak (p1h)

word count: 7.2k (my longest fic yet ! ) 

warning(s): cursing, underage drinking, a tiny bit of infidelity 

synopsis: you had been in love with yang jungwon since the day you met him. 

note: lowercase is intended, lots of pov changes! (read carefully so you don’t get confused lol). this took me a year to make PLEASE don't judge too harshly i put my heart and soul into this 😭. took me a year to make but could not come up with a title for the life of me, hence why it is called untitled, silly silly me. this was really fun to make though and although it took me a while to make, i'm very proud of it. lmk if you want to be added to my taglist and i will gladly do so !! special thanks to my bestie abby and my bf dean for proofreading love you both <3333

—------

you were certain this was the end of your friendship with jungwon. again. but this time you knew it would be permanent.

he was the boy who lived next door. growing up, you had always admired him from afar. the class president who everyone, including the upperclassmen, seemed to get along with.  

you had liked him until freshman year, when you got tired of pining over someone who didn’t seem to hold any interest in you. as comical as it seems, that was around the time that he had started to take an interest in you. 

and so he courted you, bringing you your favorite drink, walking you home, even coming over for dinner and hanging out at your house. this helped blossom a friendship that no one saw coming, and it wasn’t long until people started to wonder if you two were an item. 

it took two months for jungwon to muster up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend. 

you were sure you were over your crush on him, that it was just a silly childhood crush. but as you hung out with him more and more, you couldn’t help but fall for him all over again. of course you said yes, because who wouldn’t say yes to the pretty starry-eyed boy standing before you?

jungwon was a nice boyfriend; going on dates quite often, never fought, and he would buy you flowers without being asked.. maybe the latter was why the whirlwind relationship only lasted five months. 

you remember the day so vividly, sitting on the bench at your favorite park; the same park where jungwon had asked you to be his, and here he was, asking you to break up.

 it seemed poetic in a kind of way, starting as his, and leaving as no one’s.

“i’m sorry. i’ve just lost romantic feelings,” jungwon stated, staring down at the grass as a breeze of wind came, the blades of grass swaying slightly. “it’s just that we’ve both been so busy with other things, and i guess we kinda just like, drifted apart because of it.”

“yeah, i think so too,” you replied nonchalantly, ignoring the slight sting in your heart. 

his head snapped up, your eyes finally meeting his, “wait, actually? you’re not lying?” the sound of relief in his voice made your heart feel like it was being squeezed.

“do you want to get rid of me that bad?” you instead teased with a grin. 

“no!” he exclaimed with wide eyes. “i still wanna be friends with you. i might not like you romantically anymore, but i don’t wanna like, lose the friendship we have, you know?”

“yeah,” you replied, “we can still be friends.”

and you two meant it. there were no tears, and no broken hearts (that you would like to admit). it was just a simple case of the right person and the wrong time, and as the years continued, you tried to convince yourself that it was just nothing. that jungwon was not your “right” anything- he was just your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. 

you were almost successful. until your last year of high school approached. 

you and jungwon kept your word, you stayed friends. always being seen together; walking to class, walking home, studying in the library, eating lunch in the cafeteria. 

people still believed you were together, and you always had to correct them, because no you and jungwon were no longer together and no you were not a thing.

they never believed you, though. 

there was always a small part of you that wanted to say yes when someone would ask. that you and jungwon were a thing and that he was yours and you were his. but you never did, callingyourself crazy for even thinking of doing so. 

you found yourself doing it again as yuna had asked you earlier in the week. 

yuna was the new girl this year, having transferred from jyp high. from what you heard, she was nice, smart, and she was gorgeous. you were never one to put yourself down, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t feel insecure standing next to her. 

“no, jungwon and i are not dating,” you smiled politely. it was almost like a script at this point. “we’re just good friends.”

“that’s good to hear,” yuna smiled, her eyes sparkling. “i just wanted to ask him out, but i wasn’t going to if you had a thing!”

“oh, you’re thinking of confessing to him?” you questioned. there was that little part of you again. the part that always said no! tell them you’re a thing! tell them to not do it!

“yeah, he’s in a bunch of my classes. he’s super smart and polite and he always knows how to make me laugh. and he has such pretty eyes,” she sighed dreamily as her mouth formed into a lovesick smile. 

“well, he has that effect on people,” you grinned. 

i would know, you thought.

 “i say go for it! he’s not particularly interested in anyone, you have a good chance.”

“you really think so?” she asked, eyes wide. 

god, i hope not, you thought. as shitty as it was, you didn’t want jungwon to move on. you felt sick at the thought of him being with someone else. 

“why not?” you said instead. “he’ll be at the library after school today studying, i’m supposed to meet him, but i can just tell him something came up.” 

“oh my god, you’re the best!” she squealed, engulfing you in a hug. “thank you thank you thank you.”

“you’re welcome,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her, ignoring the green monster growing within you.

—----

it had been four days since your conversation with yuna. every time you saw him, you waited for him to bring up the date with baited breath- but he hadn’t said anything. not yet at least.

or maybe yuna simply didn’t ask him on a date. that’s what you were secretly hoping, at least.

it seemed hoping wasn’t enough. on the fifth day jungwon approached you from down the hall with those twinkling eyes and a bright smile you love so much, he seemed more energetic than usual with a little hop in his step. 

“you’re not gonna believe what happened today!” he exclaimed as he reached you at your locker. 

you could believe it. you were the one who hooked yuna up after all. yet you feigned curiosity as you looked at him quizzically, “what is it?”

“yuna asked me on a date! me! of all people! she’s so cool and smart and nice and pretty,” he said with a dreamy look on his face. 

you knew that look. the far away gaze as he thought of her. it was one you would never forget. it’s how he used to look at you. that lovesick grin and those twinkling eyes.

 it had never bothered you before when jungwon had crushes on other girls, because well, that’s all they were. they never escalated into anything more. looking at his lovestruck expression, realization hit that jungwon wasn’t yours anymore. 

you shouldn’t have thought of it that way. you should be happy for him! you should’ve been celebrating with him and cheering him on!  

you couldn’t help the bittersweet smile on your face as you replied, “oh, well that’s nice.”

his smile faltered slightly at your expression, concern slowly forming on his face.  

“are you okay?” he asked. 

“i’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, regaining your composure. “i’m happy for you! and don’t worry about spending less time with me, you’re gonna be a busy guy now! with a girlfriend…”

“okay, she is not my girlfriend. and even if she was, I would never ditch you!” 

“yeah whatever you say, loverboy,” you joked, giving him a playful nudge with your shoulder. 

“no seriously, y/n,” he replied, softly. “are you okay with yuna and i being a thing? i just don’t want it to be weird because you and i used to be a thing, and i know we’re both over that but i just wanted to make sure-,”

“what, me?” you scoffed, cutting the boy off. “what you and i had wasn’t serious, it was just some dumb high school fling.”

even as you spoke those words, you knew they weren’t true. it was more than just a fling. you loved him and maybe you still did. 

silence hung between you, the hallway getting quieter as the remaining students scrambled to their classes, the late bell ringing, leaving you and jungwon in the hallway alone. 

he looked hurt at what you said. you immediately wanted to take it back, to say you didn’t mean it and that he was your first love and you didn’t want him going on that date with yuna. 

“sorry, i shouldn’t have said that,” you muttered, not being able to meet his eyes and instead turning to close your locker. 

“no, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” he replied, as he started to back away, making his way to his class down the hall. “you’re right, it was just a fling, and honestly, it’s so weird to think of us as a couple.” 

it was like your world was falling apart around you as he spoke. did you interpret his hurt expression wrong? maybe this all was one-sided. did he not feel his heart breaking like you did? did he not wonder occasionally (or everyday) how his life would be if you were still together? did he not miss what you had?

maybe there really was nothing between you and jungwon but friendship. 

“yeah, so weird,” you awkwardly smiled, walking to catch up with him. “but you and i, we’re good, right?”

“yep, no worries,” he grinned back. 

“good,” you smiled. “so when’s your date?” 

his eyes brightened ever so slightly as you asked. he started to describe his date– how he was going to take her to the beach and have a picnic and play in the sand. 

you nodded along, your mind wandering off to when jungwon would take you on beach dates, burying him in the sand, splashing him with water and swimming away before he could splash you back. 

you looked over at the boy in question, his starry eyes wide as he talked about his date plans, his smile wide and giddy, his tone as sweet as honey as he talked about her. 

you knew you shouldn’t villainize yuna– she was a nice girl, a very nice one. it wasn’t her fault you were still in love with jungwon, and it surely wasn’t her fault that she liked him. it’s not like you could choose who you could fall in love with. 

you of all people would know. 

so you smiled and nodded along as you walked him to class, listening to him go on and on about his plans. you finally settled with the fact then and there, that jungwon would never be yours again. you had to let go. 

—--------

it has been six months since that day. the day that you had decided to give up. yuna and jungwon have been inseparable since then. 

he kept to his word though; still studying with you after school, showing up when you needed him, hanging out together. sometimes yuna would tag along, which you didn’t mind. she was fun to be around. 

you also didn’t mind being the third wheel when she was around, instead teasing the couple and even offering to take pictures for them. they were a lovely couple and they were seemingly happy– jungwon especially, and that was all that mattered. 

the school year was coming to an end, and seeing as it was your senior year, people were throwing parties almost every weekend. 

you went every once in a while, had some fun, did some underage drinking, even flirted with a couple of people. 

tonight was the party though. 

intak was throwing his first party of the year, and everyone knew his parties were legendary. 

you sat in the uber with jungwon and yuna, anticipating the night before you. you were excited, to say the least. the last time you went to a party was a  month ago, and you were ready to have fun. you even put on your best party outfit for tonight!

you arrived at intak’s house (or more like a mansion), and started to make your way inside until jungwon stopped you. 

“wait! before we go in, i think we should go over some basic safety rules!” jungwon exclaimed. 

you rolled your eyes with a small laugh as you replied, “only you would go over safety rules at a party.” 

“i’m serious, y/n, really bad things could happen,” he shot back with a pointed expression. 

“okay wonie, go ahead, we’re all ears,” yuna smiled supportively.

you ignored the slight heart ache at yuna using your old nickname for jungwon- the one you used when you were together. 

get it together, y/n you thought. letting go, remember?  

you instead smiled and nodded reassuringly at jungwon, who looked over at you to make sure you were paying attention. 

he sighed before continuing, “okay, i won’t be doing any drinking so i can babysit you guys all night. if you need to use the bathroom give your drinks to me so i can watch them. and y/n, if you leave the party at any point, for any reason, please let me know first.”

“sir, yes sir,” you muttered. 

“now let’s go have some fun!” yuna exclaimed, dragging the both of you by the wrists. 

you finally entered the house, where there seemed to be everyone from your school. even kids who graduated last year were in attendance, and as you searched the party for a familiar face that wasn’t jungwon or yuna, intak strolled over, a wide smile on his face. 

“you guys made it!” he shouted over the loud thumping of the music. he was wearing a letterman jacket with a white shirt underneath, and a pair of baggy straight legged jeans. the outfit looked so good on him that you had almost forgotten that you were talking to intak of all people. 

“you look nice, y/n,” he grinned.

you would’ve had a crush on him if he didn’t flirt with every girl he laid eyes on, and it seemed like his victim of the night was you. but damn did he look good right now. 

intak wasn’t a bad guy, he seemed harmless, not like the guys who wouldn’t take no for an answer. he just always flirted, with no intentions of making anything serious. most of the girls he talked to never knew the latter though. 

but you thought it couldn’t hurt, you were here to have fun, and if flirting with intak was the way to do it, then so be it. 

you saw jungwon step forward, about to tell intak to back off and go flirt with someone else, causing you to put your hand on his arm to stop him. 

you also noticed how yuna examined the scene in front of her; jungwon trying to be your knight in shining armor, and you with your hand on his arm to stop him. her eyes narrowed slightly in thought as you dropped your hand and turned to intak. 

“why don’t you get me a drink and then we can talk?” you smiled dazzlingly. you usually reserved smiles like that for when you wanted to flirt and get wasted, and just as usual, it worked like a charm.

“i’ll be right back then,” intak smiled, before making his way through the crowd of bodies in search of a drink for you. 

“really, y/n, intak out of all people?” jungwon questioned, arms crossed. 

“yeah, and what about it?” you replied, feeling slightly annoyed at his tone of voice. he had never acted this way towards you before, but you didn’t like it. it wasn’t his business who you flirted with. he talked to you like you were an idiot and you hated the thought of him looking down on you.  

yuna awkwardly stood between the two of you, not wanting to be in the middle of your fight, but not wanting to go off by herself at a party filled with people she barely knew. 

“‘what about it?’” jungwon mocked your voice in a high pitched tone. “you know how he is, don’t be dumb.”

“dumb? i’m here to have fun, jungwon, not to play third wheel again,” you snapped back. “and why does it matter, you’re not my boyfriend, and you’re not my brother, so it’s really none of your fucking business.”

yuna had been looking back and forth between you and jungwon, watching as you glared at each other, waiting for someone to say something. it was like watching a tennis match. 

at that moment, intak arrived, back with a red solo cup in hand. 

“a drink for the prettiest girl here,” he announced, handing the cup over to you. 

“why thank you love,” you replied with an innocent smile as you looked over at jungwon, still glaring at you, his arms crossed against his chest.

ignoring him, you took a sip of the drink you were given, your face scrunching up at the bitter taste. 

“hey intak, why don’t we go dance?” you asked, reaching for his hand. 

“that sounds like fun,” he replied with a smile of his own before you led him to the dance floor, leaving an enraged jungwon, and a slightly annoyed yuna behind you.

—-----

yuna had seen the way jungwon looked at you. she might have been a bit oblivious at first, but as time went on and she spent more time with the two of you, it became more and more apparent– jungwon had never gotten over you. 

at first yuna thought she could sway him, to get him to fall for her the way he fell for you. but it never worked. he looked at you like you were his own personal angel. no matter where you were, who you were with, how you looked, he was absolutely enraptured by you, and oh, how yuna wished he looked at her like that. 

it had been fifty minutes since your small tussle, and yuna and jungwon sat outside, occupying two pool chairs as he angrily took sips of his water. 

“it’s like she doesn’t even care, she just ran off with him knowing he’ll never want anything serious, knowing he’s gonna lead her on, and i swear when she comes crying to me, i’m gonna tell her ‘i told you’ right to her stupid dumb face,” he rambled, placing his bottle of water harder on the table than he intended to, spilling droplets in the process. 

“well, she’s young and single, and she just wants to have fun baby, there’s nothing wrong with that,” yuna replied. “and she has a point, you’re not her brother or anything, so why do you care so much?”

jungwon  looked up at yuna, not being able to ignore the bitter tone in her voice, “wait, you’re supposed to be on my side.”

“i’m not on anyone’s side, i’m just asking as your girlfriend why you care so much. because honestly, if i didn’t know any better, i would think that you were still in love with her,” yuna sighed, exasperated. 

“i am not in love with her, i like you!” he exclaimed, way faster than he should have. 

yuna wanted to believe him. she wanted to ignore every bit of doubt in her body and believe every lie he fed to her, but she couldn’t. not when she knew you loved him too. it was heartbreaking, really. to watch the person you love pine over someone else. but it was even worse knowing the feelings were reciprocated. 

“don’t lie to me, jungwon,” she deadpanned, feeling her eyes start to water with tears of frustration. “i see the way you look at her, and i know for sure you haven’t gotten over her. you have never once looked at me the way you look at her, and if you like her, just say that. just say that and we can end things here, without having to make this any more heartbreaking than it already is.”

yuna didn’t want to cry. the last thing she wanted to do was cry, but the feelings of anger and embarrassment had overwhelmed her, causing a few traitorous tears to spill. she was angry at herself for letting it get this far, for falling in love with a boy that she knew would never love her back. 

but she was also embarrassed. embarrassed that she had even tried to make an effort, that she had thought she could win him over. 

she wiped her face with the back of her hand, only for more to spill out, a sob fighting for an escape from her quivering lips. 

jungwon raised his hand to wipe the tears away for her, to cup her face and tell her everything would be okay and that he was sorry. but what was he sorry for? sorry for trying to keep you away from intak? or sorry that maybe yuna was right and he did still love you?

just as he opened his mouth to speak, you stumbled out, words slurring and barely able to walk as you stumbled your way over to them. 

“hey guys!” you exclaimed, as a worried intak came rushing out the house behind you. 

“oh god, y/n, are you okay?” jungwon asked, immediately walking over to your side to support your stumbling figure. yuna would have felt bitter over jungwon rushing to your side faster than he had ever run to hers. yet, despite the devil on her shoulder that told her to be petty, she instead felt worried for you. you could barely even stand up straight.

“what the fuck did you do to her?” jungwon asked, throwing an accusatory look at intak.

“nothing dude, i promise! she was the one who wanted to drink, she had like 5 drinks within the span of like, 10 minutes,” intak replied, panicked. “is she going to be okay? does she have a way to get home safely?”

jungwon looked from yuna to you, who was falling asleep just standing there.

“just take her home,” yuna sighed. “i’m not gonna make you choose because we all know who you’d choose every single time.”

“yuna it’s not like that,” jungwon groaned. “listen, i’ll bring her home, and then i’ll come over tomorrow and we can talk this out, okay? i promise.”

“okay, just get her home safe first,” yuna replied. 

you might have been the biggest obstacle in her relationship, but you were still a nice girl, and you had technically done nothing wrong, so yuna had no reason to want to keep you and jungwon apart. you were also wasted as fuck and there was no way you would be able to get home by yourself without something horrible potentially happen to you. 

jungwon grabbed his almost full water bottle from the table he was sitting at, muttering that he would “need it to sober you up”.

he gave yuna one last reassuring smile before he walked away, you on his back as he tried his best to carry you home. 

yuna sighed as she watched you go. she felt like something bad would happen today, something worse than her argument with jungwon, and she wanted nothing else but to go home and cry. 

all she could do was trust jungwon, even if she knew she already lost him, even if she knew she was never a contestant in the first place.

—------

jungwon almost did it. 

he almost carried you all the way home, but his legs felt like they were gonna give out once he reached the park near your house, and he decided then and there that he needed a break. 

he sat you on the playground set, sitting beside you with a huff. 

you were awake by this point, taking long sips of the water bottle jungwon had given you. you wanted to sober up by the time you got home, but it wasn’t really working, with your words still slurring slightly and your mind all dizzy.

the two of you sat in silence as you gazed at the stars and jungwon thought of his argument with yuna. 

maybe she was right. 

even now, as he glanced over at you, studying the stars, his heart skipped a beat and he felt his face warm up. 

“do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend in this park?” you chuckled. “we were so young then, it feels like forever ago.”

jungwon was thrown off by the sudden conversation starter, but still smiled, “yeah, i remember it very well. i felt like i was gonna throw up because i was so nervous.”

you turned your head to look at him and giggled as his smile grew wider. 

“what, what are you laughing at?” 

“nothing, i was just so in love with you then. i used to think that we would be together forever and ride off into the sunset in a carriage.” 

jungwon inspected you as you talked, trying to decipher if there was any meaning behind your words or if it was just the liquor talking. 

“i just thought we were some high school fling?” he half-joked as he nudged you with his shoulder. he didn’t want it to seem like he was serious if you were sobering up. 

he felt his heart start to race as he stared at your slightly flushed face from the drinks you had, your hair fluttering as a soft breeze blew by. you were everything that jungwon had ever wanted, and here you were, telling him how much you used to love him. 

wait, no, what the hell am i doing? jungwon thought to himself. it wasn’t fair to yuna. it was already unfair to her that he only started to date her to get over you. he thought that if he dated her long enough, he would stop loving you and love her instead. 

and he genuinely thought it worked. fuck, he thought. i’m such a shitty person. 

until he saw you with intak, flirting, dancing with him, laughing at his jokes, he had never felt so jealous in his life, and yuna had noticed. and she was upset, which was fair. what wasn’t fair was jungwon using her to get over you. 

use. he hated the icky feeling that word gave him. 

“i lied,” you muttered, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“what did you say?” jungwon asked, making sure that he had heard you right. 

“i lied,” you repeated, eyes on everything but him. “i loved you, and i think i still do.” 

your eyes finally met his as you continued, “you are everything to me, jungwon. i’ve been in love with you since forever, and i only agreed to break up because you said you wanted to.”

jungwon could feel his heart starting to beat faster as he searched your eyes for any hesitation, any sign that this was a lie, or some sort of joke. his heart beat so fast he felt like he was gonna explode as he looked into your eyes, so earnest and so genuine and so filled with love that he knew you had sobered up. 

you reached for his hands in his lap, interlacing your fingers with his. 

“i can’t keep this from you,” you breathed. “i love you, yang jungwon, and i know you’re dating yuna, but i just have to tell you that i love you, that i always have and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i don’t expect you to leave her for me or anything, but i can’t help it anymore. i love you, i love you, i love you.”

silence hung over the two of you as he tried to form a coherent sentence after your confession. it felt like suddenly his brain didn’t know how to make him talk, to make him say i love you too, or to make him do anything, really. 

a minute passed, and then two as jungwon searched your eyes with the same desperation yours had– desperate to love and to be loved by the person sitting in front of you. 

jungwon didn’t know who leaned closer first. he thought it was you but maybe it was him. he didn’t even feel like he was in control of his body as he leaned closer and closer, his hand moving to hold your face, searching your face for any hesitation, for any kind of doubt.

 you were so close that he could smell the perfume you sprayed before you left your house and the drinks that you had earlier that night. 

impatient, jungwon finally closed the gap between the two of you, your soft lips colliding with his. he could have kissed you forever, wanting to stay forever in time there. until realization hit him.

yuna.

he pulled away abruptly, your eyes still closed as you chased his lips with yours. he would have found it cute if he weren’t trying his best not to panic right now. he just kissed you. while he was still dating yuna. 

he thought of the look on yuna’s face if she found out– the angry, hurt expression that she had at the party, and even worse, the tears. he would break the poor girl’s heart. 

“i should go,” jungwon breathed, quickly standing up from his seat beside you. “it’s almost past my curfew.”

“wait, jungwon,” you said, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt before he could walk away. “i think we should talk about this before you go.”

“yeah, we can talk later,” he replied dismissively. “i just need some time to think.”

you opened your mouth to say something else– anything else to make him stay, but closed it as you saw he was already speed-walking in the direction of his house. 

you thought that you would lose him forever after your breakup.  you had almost lost jungwon once, and you were nearly positive that you won’t be so lucky to keep him this time. 

you felt sick to your stomach, and you didn’t know if it was from the drinks or from the events that had just occurred, but nonetheless you felt nauseous. 

you hunched over as you started to gag, your vomit flowing out of your mouth, tears streaming down your face. 

you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, rinsing your mouth out with water as you started to tear up. 

before you knew it, you felt sobs rising, your nose stuffed from crying,  your throat getting dry from the sobbing. the embarrassment and sorrow was finally catching up to you– all of the years of repressed love you felt for jungwon, all of the embarrassment from him leaving after you confessed, embarrassment from being a homewrecker– it all came crashing down on you. 

you couldn’t go home like this. you were sober enough to know that, with your tear streaked face, ruined makeup, and vomit smelling breath your parents would put two and two together. 

your hands shakily reached for your phone in your back pocket, dialing your brother’s number and waiting for him to pick up with baited breath. your brother was your only hope. 

“hello?” 

“chan?” you breathed into the phone. “i need to sleepover at your place.”

—----

yuna hated this. 

the waiting, the feeling of dread as she sat on her bed, awaiting jungwon’s arrival. 

the fight that had ensued was horrible, but she believed she made a valid point. if he likes y/n so much he should just go be with her, she thought bitterly. 

jungwon had texted her last night at around 1 in the morning, just to make sure she got home safe. yuna didn’t respond. she instead left him on read, still pissed off from the fight.

she used to get butterflies when he would send her texts to make sure she got home safe. but now she didn’t know if he did it because he liked her or if it was just out of common courtesy. 

yuna was about to just walk to his house herself before she heard a knock on her door. 

“hey it’s uh, me,” she heard jungwon’s muffled voice through the door. “is it okay if i come in?” 

“yeah, let’s get this over with.”

she couldn’t meet his eyes as he walked in, striding over to the corner of her bed. yuna hated waiting, but she now felt dread as the pair sat in silence for a bit, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. she had sat nowhere near him.

 usually she’d be cuddled into his side, but she instead opted to sit at the head of her bed, seemingly as far away from him as possible. she was worried that if she was too close to him, she’d crack; she’d look at his doe eyes and forgive him and that would ruin the entire point of her argument. 

“so,” she cleared her throat, interrupting the silence. “did y/n get home safe?” 

“yeah, she’s at her brother’s apartment. he texted me when she got there.”

 “‘when she got there?’ did you not walk her there?” 

“no, he picked her up from the park near our houses. but anyways, i have something important to tell you.” 

yuna felt even more dread seeping into her as he finished his sentence. she should’ve seen this coming from the start. here it comes: the breakup. 

“i kissed y/n last night.” 

yuna’s eyes widened in surprise. she had expected the breakup, yes. she knew jungwon was emotionally cheating, but now he was physically cheating? 

“wait, are you being serious right now?” she laughed in astonishment. she couldn’t believe the audacity of the man sitting in front of her. 

“i know it’s bad. i feel horrible, because an amazing woman like you should never be treated as horrible as i’ve treated you, and i am so so sorry,” jungwon started, tearing up from how bad he felt. “all of the apologies in the world could never make up for how i’ve treated you. i’ve made you feel terrible and i’m just making it worse by breaking up with you to be with her.” 

“i love y/n, yuna. and i’m sorry that i didn’t tell you, or that you had to find out for yourself before i even knew. you are so so perfect yuna-,”

“but i’m just not perfect for you?” she replied, tears starting to form as she breathed those words. 

the silence that followed was more than enough to answer her question. 

she hated this. she hated this so so much. but she didn’t hate you, or jungwon. she just hated how love worked, how she had to fall in love with the one boy who couldn’t love her back. she hated that she gave her heart away to a boy that was never going to belong to her– not fully. 

she wanted to scream, to throw something, hell, maybe even hit him. she instead took a deep breath, composing herself before she said, “okay. go be with her then.” 

jungwon looked over at her, wanting nothing but to comfort yuna. he may not be in love with her, but he did love her, and he still cared for her. 

“i’m sorry, yuna,” jungwon said instead. “you’re an amazing girl, but you should never be anyone’s second choice, and i’m sorry for making you feel like mine.” 

yuna couldn’t even look at him, fidgeting with the strings of the hoodie she wore. 

“just leave, please,” she muttered. 

she didn’t want him to see her cry, he had already broken her once, she didn’t want him to see her fall apart again. 

with a guilty expression, jungwon hurried away, also not wanting to see her cry again. he felt gross. he felt disgusted with himself for treating her that way. he didn’t like the person he was with yuna, and he felt sick thinking about how heartbroken she was; how she was so hurt that she couldn’t even look at him. 

—------

it has been two weeks since your kiss with jungwon, and you hadn’t heard a word from him since. not a single call or text, hell, he didn’t even acknowledge your existence when you walked by him in the halls. 

you had seen yuna around, but seeing as jungwon wasn’t joined at her hip like he used to be, you assumed that things didn’t end quite so well between the two. knowing that you were the cause made you want to never show your face ever again, especially because of the dirty looks yuna’s friends have been giving you. 

you were relieved it was the last day of the school year; you’d never have to see yuna again and feel the guilt at seeing the sadness in her eyes. 

you walked into the bathroom, wanting to wash your hands after eating your lunch, when you saw yuna, touching up on her makeup in the mirror. she looked at you through the mirror above the sink, before going back to her makeup. 

the tension was so thick you didn’t know if you should just leave or hide in a bathroom stall until she left. 

“i’m not gonna bite, you know,” yuna chuckled. 

you smiled back nervously as you started to make your way to the sink. 

“yuna i’m really sorry,” you sighed, mustering whatever courage and dignity you had left. 

“it’s okay,” yuna replied, finally meeting your gaze. “although it was wrong for you guys to have kissed, i saw the breakup coming from miles away. he was never mine to begin with.” 

you were taken aback just by how calm she was, with the way she spoke those words with such elegance and grace. she had every right to be angry with you, to yell at you and call you a homewrecker. 

“even if you did think you were going to break up, that still doesn’t excuse what i did, and i really am sorry,” you said, trying to project every feeling of sympathy and sincerity you could in that one sentence. “i’m not asking you to forgive me, or jungwon, but i just wanted to tell you that you really are a cool person, and you’ve always been so kind to me, even now. all of this for a boy, and he hasn’t even talked to me in the past two weeks.”

“wait, he hasn’t reached out to you at all?” yuna asked, confused. “i thought he would say something to you at least.” 

“did he say he would?” you replied, confusion reaching you as well. 

“no,” yuna replied, fixing her hair in the mirror. “i just assumed so because he’s in love with you.”

once again, you were stunned by her nonchalance. “he’s not in love with me.” 

“don’t be silly,” yuna smiled softly. “i can’t tell if dating jungwon was the best or worst six months of my life, to be honest.” 

“don’t get me wrong, he was a good boyfriend,” yuna backtracked quickly after seeing the guilt on your face. “he did the usual boyfriend stuff, and he really did try, but i could just always tell that his heart was always yours.” 

you couldn’t meet yuna’s gaze as she said this, your face hot with shame. you felt so bad for her, and you didn’t quite know what to say in response. 

“i’m sorry that things ended this way,” you finally said. 

“it’s okay, it was gonna happen sooner or later,” yuna replied. “but if i’m right, then you should probably go talk to him, he’s probably going insane with guilt right now over me, and over you. bro’s got a lot on his plate.” 

you gave a small chuckle at the last sentence, making yuna smile a bit. 

“well thank you for the talk yuna, but i’ve gotta go. i think i need to go find jungwon.” 

yuna felt her heart break a bit at the words, but she smiled anyways and said bye as she watched you leave the bathroom. yuna didn’t know if she was supposed to cry or feel happy for you and jungwon, but she did know that she was right. again. she knew his heart had always belonged to you. anyone could see that. 

—--------

trying to find jungwon was easier than you expected. he was sitting on a swing, at the park that you became his, then wasn’t his anymore, and then confessed your love to him. there was so much that had happened at this park that it made your head hurt a bit just thinking about it. 

“is it okay if i sit here?” you asked, motioning to the swing beside him. 

“of course you can,” jungwon replied. 

the two of you sat in silence.

“i don’t think we should be friends anymore,” you finally spoke up. 

he jerked his head to look at you, shock coursing through him. “wait, why not?”

you took a deep breath before saying, “i can’t be friends with you anymore because i’m in love with you. there hasn’t been a moment since i’ve met you that i haven’t been.” 

his heart skipped a beat at your words. 

this was it, this is what you’d been waiting for since the day you laid eyes on jungwon. but you didn’t think it would go quite like this. you sat there for a moment as jungwon studied you, and you wished he would say something, anything. 

“but did you ever consider how i felt?” he finally asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “have you ever considered that maybe i’ve felt the same way?” 

you felt your breath catch in your throat as he continued, “i’ve seen you everyday since we were five when your family moved in next door. but i didn’t really see you until freshman year, sitting in class by the window, your hair flowing from the breeze that came through, doodling in your notebook instead of paying attention to the lesson. and when you caught me staring, you smiled and waved, and i swear i fell in love with you that day. that day, i knew my heart would always be yours.” 

“so please,” jungwon pleaded. “please, do whatever you want with it. you could break it a million times over and it would still be yours.”

now this, this was exactly you had always dreamed of. 

you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him, trying to convey all the repressed love you’ve had for him for years through the kiss. you loved him. you loved every single part of jungwon, every flaw, every imperfection, everything that made him him. 

“so does this mean we’re official?” jungwon grinned as he pulled away, a playful look in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling the heart eyes in your gaze and the way your heart melted just by looking at him. 

“took you long enough.” 

[soleilnomoon]

hello!! ₍₍ ◝(　ﾟ∀ ﾟ )◟ ⁾⁾ How are you writer-sama?? (or do you prefer chan?)

I have a request for u! (ﾉ*0*)ﾉ💌

How do you think this introverts: Zoro, Law and Ace (kinda introv?) Would act with their s/o once they're "comfortable enough" with them? cuz I feel like their s/o would have some kind of "privileges" (?) and a somehow "different treatment"?? if you know what I mean (◕દ◕)

bc i think that at a certain point of the relationship they will already know and have already seen all of their different sides and aspects and so they accept them wholely (is that a word?) 😔 so they naturally feel more at ease and kind of lower more their defensive side with them.. 🥺 i hope it's clear 😭 and of course if you want to do it love! It can be a headcanon maybe?and preferably a fem!reader?

Sending love~💚

BYE BYE !! ⋋✿ ⁰ 0 ⁰ ✿⋌

haha i’m good, angel <3 i hope you’re doing well! also, i think chan is cuter imo!

1k words, sfw, fem reader (no pronouns), no warnings bc i kept it tame for y'all; also i don't believe any of them are introverted, but they are very selective about who they let into their space completely and who they don't 💖

given how reserved he is, zoro most likely will take a bit of time before he lets his walls down completely. even before making anything official, it will take quite a bit of convincing on your part — he’s not the type to need any sort of label for his relationships, but if you insist, if you truly desire that level of validation, he’ll oblige. for your sake, of course. in the initial stages, it will feel very weird to him, the idea of anyone tolerating him enough — let alone liking him to the degree that you do — is still foreign to him.

he’s a little rough around the edges, see.

not really an introvert, but coming off as such because of his proclivity to remain quiet, he especially is very particular about who he allows in his personal space. once you wiggle your way into his life, he slowly, but surely, lets you in. it’s only then that you see more of his actual persona — the joking, loud, foul-mouthed, simple-minded swordsman that has a proverbial heart of gold. and, while he’s not exactly the most affectionate person, he’ll make an exception for you. he will find every excuse to pull you in for a hug, steal several kisses from you a day when you’re busy doing other things, and generally will want you to be nearby — not out of possessiveness, but out of a desire to ensure that you’re safe, always. 

and, if you can break down even more of his walls, you’ll be able to see that deep down, all he’s ever really wanted is for someone to accept him as he is completely — the bloodthirsty, ruthless fighter who is absolutely terrible with directions (both complicated and simple), who will do anything to protect those he cares deeply for. just know that he will always have your best interests at heart, even when it seems like he doesn’t.

another quiet type, deep thinker that spends the majority of his time either stuck in his head or obsessing over things he has no power over. out of the three, law is the hardest to crack with the heaviest baggage to deal with. since he is overly familiar with tragedy, law keeps those he cares for close at heart and makes very little room for anyone else. he’s not heartless, but it might seem that way because of his standoffish behavior. he has a low tolerance for bullshit, doesn’t like beating around the bush, and dislikes when his plans are disrupted.

but, if you manage to show him that you’re an asset to him, that you’re not someone who will slow him down or interfere with his plans, and that you actually do care for him and his crew — a package deal, really — then he will more than welcome you into his heart without much issue. it will take time, but as long as you’re patient, the reward is that you’ll be privy to the side of law that not many of his crew mates get to see. he’s a little childish, can be extremely petty, and despite his appearance, is a superhero comics buff. 

be prepared to be sucked into his world of niche interests, where he’ll tell you all about the various medical procedures he’s researching, or about some rare comic he managed to find after looking for years, or about the dreams he’s too embarrassed to tell the others about. he doesn’t exactly engage in pda, but he’s more than affectionate behind closed doors, allowing you to sleep in his bed, hang around his office without permission, to kiss him as you please. he especially likes when you sit on his lap while he’s reading, although that does tend to backfire, as your presence inevitably distracts him. don’t be surprised if he’ll put his book down to play with your hair, or tease you by kissing the side of your neck. it all comes with the territory of being loved by him; it’s almost like he has to make sure that you’re really real, that he isn’t imagining you, and that you do actually return his affection.

he doesn’t nearly internalize as the others — ace is pretty straight-forward with how he feels about people on the surface. when it comes to delving deeper, specifically as it relates to romantic relationships, he’s not as well-versed as people think he is. ace is all talk for the most part, so when he does find someone who strikes his interest, someone who matches his energy or, if they can’t, someone who can help keep him calm and at ease, it takes him by surprise. he doesn’t know how to act — might even go to marco and thatch for advice on the matter.

he just doesn’t want to mess anything up; he has a big chip on his shoulder, the complex he has over himself is too deep to solve with simple words of affirmation, so it will take a bit of work on your part, but eventually he will come to terms with his feelings and you will be able to experience all that ace is, entirely. you’ll have inside jokes, partake in wild dares, and he will, once he’s more comfortable, shower you with affection wherever — and whenever — he can. as long as you can put up with him constantly having his hands on you in some way, shape, or form then you’ll be good to go.

you’ll also be the first he goes to when he wants to run an idea by someone, you’ll be the one he talks about his nightmares with, the one he seeks out for comfort when life spirals a little too out of control for him. if you’re consistent, he’ll trust you completely, tell you all about his life (tell you all about his brothers), and will do the same for you, too. he’s also the fierce protector type, so you’ll never have to worry about someone not having your back. no matter what, ace will always be there for you — he might not be able to talk you down from every situation, or he might not have the best words of comfort, but he’ll try his best. he thinks that holding you close to him makes the most sense in the world, since his body ends to run hot and he knows that warmth always makes people feel at ease (his logic isn’t great, but he means well.)

[littlefreya]

Vanilla Milkshake

Summer: Henry and a long time friend hangout at their usual spot when things turn chaotic because of an innocent misunderstanding...

Prompted by:  

 Oooh Freyaaaa I just *need* some scene featuring Henry and ofc drinking milkshake. 

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Unamed OFC (no description of ethnicity or body type).

Word count: 1.7K

Warnings: RPF, major fluff, friends to lovers, sexual innuendo, mild seduction, sex talk, an unwanted boner, Henry being a boomer, Henry having a meltdown. 

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, ideas or parts it and claiming it as your own.*

A/N: So, first thing first, thanks @agniavateira for quickly beta’ing my work! And of course thanks @the-soot-sprite for bouncing ideas with me and being an emotional support. Decided to go with friends for lovers because I live for that stuff. Also, I am aware that “Milkshake” can be interpreted in several ways but for the sake of the story I went with that particular reference. Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed.  🖤

Title: Vanilla Milkshake

“I swear, this diner looks like Barbie had an orgasm all over the place.” A whimsical grin sliced between Henry’s marble cheeks. Eyeing the pastel-esque surroundings, he huffed scornfully and adjusted the cap over his nest of unruly curls. 

“Remind me again why we always meet here, young lady?”

Staring at the beastly man who barely managed to squeeze into the plastic-pink faux leather booth, she couldn’t help but chuckle. Henry carried himself with something that was both eloquent yet unmistakably feral, reminding her of a burly forest creature. Sturdy tree trunks stood for limbs, torso, and shoulders—the widths of icy mountains and a blanket of thick fur coated the entirety of his body, deeming him a dangerous bear. 

No wonder he preferred himself clean-shaven. The sharpened edge of a razor kept him a cut away from becoming ‘Henry the Barbarian’. 

Seeing him surrounded by pastel and sparkly fairy dust brought far more joy than she could ever imagine. The utter look of contempt gleamed on the surface of his shifty eyes. 

Oh, by God, how much he hated glitter!

“And what would you know about Barbie’s orgasms?” she teased with a crooked eyebrow and a comical suspicious glare. 

Readjusting his cap over the messy mane of chocolate curls, Henry offered a terrible wink and shrugged, “a gentleman never tells.”

Her fingers rapped on her thigh while she contemplated whether to allow this naughty joke slide, but then the urge to provoke him was far too great. After briefly chewing on the inside of her cheek, she broke into a wicked grin.

“Is that… like a role play you have with the missus? She’s Barbie, and you’re G.I.Joe? Because I kinda don’t want to hear about it, but then I kinda do.”

Henry’s smile gradually faded along with the playful glee in his eyes, his melancholic gaze dropping to the sparkly table. He slumped into a heavy sigh, “If by missus, you mean ‘Miss Hand’, then no… not really.”

Dumbfounded, she frowned at Henry with confusion when then it struck her; a sense of incredible embarrassment drained the blood from her head to her gut.

“Oh…”

“Yep.” Henry blurted and grabbed the menu, pretending to be incredibly interested in the kids’ meal options. 

Just in time to rescue them from a prolonged awkward silence, the waitress arrived with their order, serving Henry a hot cup of double espresso while she received a tall glass of a luscious vanilla milkshake. 

“Enjoy your drinks, guys!” the waitress smiled sweetly and kept her eyes glued to Henry as she walked away. But the gloss of the waitress’ flirtatious excitement was lost on him; drenched with greed, Henry’s blue sapphires were fixated on the generous scoops of ice cream and the dark chocolate swirls that decorated his companion’s dessert. 

“Henry, my eyes are up here!” she provoked and grabbed the straw between two fingers while throwing an amused glance at his simple cup of coffee. Henry followed her gaze and scoffed before raising the cup to his mouth and blowing to cool his drink.

The way his lips pursed together and his finger stroked the ceramic surface did not escape her observation. A sudden tingle swam down the length of her spine once it resonated in her mind that kind, charming, and beastly Henry was now single. Here they were, long time buddies, but now sitting together felt less comfortable than before. Her limbs felt like pins and needles while staring directly at his eyes was as risky as staring at the sun.  

“Cheers,” Henry mumbled and took a sip from his cup. 

Almost jolting in her seat, she stiffened and then grabbed her straw.

“Cheers.”

Giggles came from the other side of the diner. Among the retro gumball machines and rounded plastic bar stools, the waitress and a colleague leaned against the counter and stared at Henry, who turned his head for a brief moment and tipped his head.

Their giggles turned even louder.

She frowned. 

“So, have you been single for a while?” she heard herself asking with a rather urgent tone. Right away, a look of contrition crept on her face as she regretted her verbal onslaught and lack of sensitivity. 

Henry directed his gaze back to her and watched as she slowly sipped from the milkshake and then suckled the cream off her mouth. 

Absentmindedly, he licked his lips. “Since May. How about you, weren’t you with…?”

“No, ended, dodged a bullet.” she spat and pumped the straw up and down the thick beverage. “My milkshake brings all the boys… except it doesn't.” she sighed.

Henry frowned and shook his head with confusion. “What? You never told me you make your own milkshake. How come I never had some?” 

Her face abruptly froze, her eyes rounded with surprise before she snorted so loudly the waitresses stopped their whispering.

“Umm… Hen?” she called out, trying to hold herself from bursting into chuckles as her friend accidentally asked for a very sexual favour, “you honestly don’t know what ‘milkshake’ is slang for...?”

“Uh…”

“Omg, you’re such a boomer.” 

“No, I was born in ‘83! I’m a millennial. But please, indulge me.” he begged and crossed his arms together.

Clearing her throat loudly, she did her best to fight the wicked grin that stretched on her already painful cheeks and wrapped her fist around the straw. “So you know... how… certain male bodily fluids are sometimes white and creamy...? And when you perform a certain motion it’s like you’re shaking it…?”

Henry blinked and became silent. An unbidden rush of blood pooled at his groin as he watched her thumb graze over the tip of the straw and her fist pumping it into the smooth liquid in a slow, gentle motion. Wickedness glazed her eyes, but he tried to dismiss it as nothing but their usual playful banter; yet his adam’s apple bobbed up and down while his shoulder tensed at the oddly arousing sight of her performing a sinful act on a milkshake. 

There was an unmistakable stir in his cock and for once, he was thankful for narrow spaces as it hid his predicament.

Leaning forward, she opened her mouth and swirled her tongue around the straw. She went deliberately slow, making him watch while she playfully licked and suckled the tip until finally wrapping her lips around it and taking a generous sip.

Henry gawked utterly smitten, unaware that his jaw was nearly at the floor.

And to make things worse, she moaned—not too loud—but definitely enough to make his shaft harden more.

She wasn’t sure what stirred this whimsical boost of confidence, only that seeing the large, handsome man pale at her provocations made her feel like the most powerful woman on earth. She also gathered she’d regret it forever and a day once they’ll part ways, but it was too late for that now.

Gingerly she pulled back, though not before allowing a single drop of cream to trickle down the corner of her lips.

“Oops,” she smirked casually, wiping the cream with her fingertip and sucking it clean. 

“Please stop…” 

It was then when she noticed that Henry’s playful mien was all but gone. Far from amused, he glowered with a clenched jaw. “If you’re going to keep doing that, I’ll have to leave,” he stated matter-of-factly. 

A rush of panic made her freeze in her spot, the same needles that pricked her skin were now setting jolts of electric bursts. “I’m so sorry, I crossed the line,” she said and covered her mouth with shame, “did I offend you? Do you want me to leave?”

“What? No, no, not at all.” Henry’s voice softened right away, and he reached a hand in the air, as if trying to stop her from leaving. The last thing he wanted now is for her to think he is angry with her. If anything, he wished they could spend more time together, not because of his obvious arousal, but because for the first time in a long while, he was having fun.

Still, she looked at him so utterly distraught.  

“Then…?” 

Henry scanned the diner as if trying to make sure no one was staring or taking any photo and then shifted in his seat uncomfortably. His eyes altered between his spread thighs and her several times, trying to signal toward his… trouble.

“Oh...” she gaped. 

An odd sense of pride began to permeate her chest, battling over the burning embarrassment that flamed up her neck and cheeks. At this point, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to feel, only that it was definitely the most awkward hangout they had to date. 

Problem was, she never knew when to shut up. 

“Is little Henry hungry?”

Hearing those words, his brows dropped to an irritated sulk. “There is nothing little about it.”

“Ha! Prove it!”

It was as if the entire diner and perhaps the world fell into silence. Had the clatter of the dishes being washed in the back kitchen not rung their ears, she would have thought she grew suddenly deaf. 

“I didn’t mean it… sorry, I’ll stop,” she mumbled slowly and pressed her fingers to her mouth while shaking her head at her stupid behaviour. That was it, this was to be the last afternoon she would ever hang out with Henry and right now, she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him.

Henry chewed onto the inside of his cheeks, trying to stop the words that came faster than his thoughts.

“You didn’t?... Because I’ll definitely be up for proving...”

She blinked at his words and tilted her head, hoping that he won’t notice the wild tremors that shook her limbs, “What was that?” 

“I... yes? No?...I… fuck!” 

Henry lowered his head and slapped his palms across his face, rubbing back and forth with an utter meltdown while mumbling, “Forgive me,” a couple of times. He couldn’t care less of what the waitresses or whoever was watching would think of him; all he cared about was to make her feel comfortable around him again and maybe… even make her like him?

“Henry?”

Soft and warm her voice called to him, slowly pulling him from his anguish like a sailor being rescued from a sunken ship. His blue sapphires shone, an ocean of confusion and anxiety still pooling within while he peered back at her face that was now smiling at him a mixture of comfort and exhilaration. 

“Would you like some of my milkshake?”

[icollectyoursins]

Jotaro Relationship Head Canons SFW

Because I’m a self indulgent little shit and just love to ignore all of the work I have to do, have some Jotaro head canons. I am but a humble simp, and love this man. So much.

Update as of writing this. Somehow, it got very angsty, so... yeah. Sad man vibes. Also rambly. I just kinda kept going.

Wanna know what I’m willing to write? Rules here!

Have a character, but no idea? Prompt list here!

Looking for more? Master post here!

WARNINGS: None, just angst, but nothing too serious.

Word Count: 2,985

Jotaro’s type is... I mean, it depends, like most people. I don’t think he’s super picky over appearances or things like that, it’s more whether or not he gets along with you and how long he can put up with you.  He’s polite (well, as polite as he can be) and courteous, but probably a little more apathetic when you’ve first met. Once you’ve been around for a while he’s more relaxed and almost a little more critical. Mostly because you’re his friend now and he expects more from his friends.

While I was writing this I sort of realized that he could be aromantic. Maybe it’s just my own aro tendencies coming through, but I thought it sort of lined up with his personality. Or at least from my experience with romantic attraction.

Eventually, though, he’ll admit he cares about you a little more than he cares about others. It comes through in little almost compliments. “You did good. Keep it up” or “good job, dealing with this” are common phrases that sound nice on the surface, but it almost feels like he’s trying to pressure you to do more, which is far from the truth.  

If it’s not awkward compliments like that, it’s awkward gifts. Always something you had briefly mentioned wanting or stared at a minute longer than you usually do, wrapped in a paper that’s your favourite colour or pattern. Sometimes, though, it’s something you’ve never mentioned that he somehow guessed would be something you wanted.

At the same time, though, he’s oblivious or at least acts like he is. There may be times when he goes home after you said something exceptionally sweet to him or that just means so much and he’ll just take a moment sitting at his desk to mull over what you said.

    With a grunt, Jotaro rolled back into the armchair with a cup of tea in one hand and today’s newspaper in the other, since he didn’t get to read it this morning. It’s late with the sun almost completely set, giving his room an orange hue. He tries reading the first column, something about a cat being saved from a sewer grate, but after about a minute, he catches himself drifting away, sort of staring blankly at the paper.

    He blinks hard, taking a long sip from his coffee. He must be tired. Another attempt is made at reading, this time the comics. They’re not his favourite thing, but short enough that he can focus on them. Or so he thought.

    He zones out again, face suddenly feeling very hot.

    He was thinking about you. Or, rather what you said.

    It was something so simple, so mundane.

    You had been talking about family together, exchanging drama, if you will, and he had brought up how his father had left his mother when he was very young. It didn’t bother him, he had said, after all, it was years ago and if he was being honest, he didn’t really need a father. Then, you gave him this look. It wasn’t pity or something like that. You put your hand on his knee, staring deep into his eyes.

    “Jotaro,” you said, voice soft and sweet. You struggled to say the next words, opening your mouth, sighing, then finally: “I’m not leaving you.”

    “Why would you be leaving?” He said, confused, taking it literally. Or, he pretended to be confused. It had made his heart warm with affection.

    What Jotaro hadn’t noticed at that moment was that his eyes seemed to gloss over with wet tears while talking about his father. He wasn’t over it, you understood that. How could he be? He was so young then, he probably didn’t understand what was happening or why and now that he’s a father himself, there had to be so much guilt about being the same way. It was only now that he was realizing how much you had an effect on him.

    It didn’t make him sad, by any means but... loved. He’ll say thank you tomorrow with a gift or some flowers. He hadn’t planned on meeting you for the rest of the week because he was busy, but work could wait, right? Yeah. Tomorrow.

God, it would take so long for him to get you to move in together. He’s so used to living on his own that I think he’s a little self-conscious about it. He’s not a slob by any means, but certainly a bachelor. I mean, he lived (assumedly) on his own from probably around or earlier than DiU right up until Stone Free, so it’s been a while and he’s certainly comfortable with his mess of clothes lying on the floor in the corner, but you won’t be. He cleans up before people come over, obviously, but how many times did he actually invite someone in?

When you start staying around more, he starts cleaning more, which makes him a little frustrated both coming to terms with liking someone enough that he’s actively cleaning for them once a week and also discovering that he’s a lot more gross than he thought. You would not believe how stained the counter was from coffee or how gross the filter was on the coffee maker. He takes his coffee very seriously. You begin to notice how clean everything is, well, how consistently clean everything is and it even starts to smell nicer, more floral and fresh. He bought a lavender air freshener. “It’s supposed to be calming,” he’ll say with a hint of annoyance. It’s not a bad smell to him, better than vanilla air fresheners, but it does give him a headache when he first sprays his place. You seem to like it though, so he’s willing to put up with it.

I honestly believe this man can cook, but nervous when cooking for other people. His food when he was a bachelor was good enough for him and I’m sure Holly would have shown him a lot too, but it’s not the best food. He definitely steps up his game when you’re over and even more so when you move in. He’s better with dishes that have pasta or noodles because it’s easy, but he’s not too bad behind the grill either.

When you guys finally live together, he tries to keep the cooking even, with you cooking some days and him doing the rest, but I honestly feel like unless you are a hazard in the kitchen, you would do most of it.

Jotaro would be like that with most things around the house partly because he doesn’t want you to do all the work if you don’t want to but he enjoys having a little more time to himself to either do work or... yeah, it’s just work. There are a few things that he’ll never make you do because it’s either too hard or he’s built up a routine of doing that thing a certain way and he’s convinced no one else will do it right. Like his laundry. He won’t let anyone else clean his clothes. He tried once and nothing dried right, he swears that his jacket is still damp to this day. You can fold his stuff or hang it up, but he’s running the washing machine and dryer. Also picky about how his office is cleaned.

If you asked and gave a legitimate reason for not doing a certain chore, he’ll do it, but be prepared with an excuse as to why you can’t wash the dishes or fold the laundry. He’s especially resistant if he’s working whether that be gathering information for the Speedwagon Foundation or editing his latest Marine Biology book.

Actually, can we just talk about how much this man hates folding laundry? It’s so pointless to him. Why fold it and put it into neat little piles when you’re just gonna rummage through the drawer and mess everything up? Sure, it looks nice, I guess, but not for long. He was for sure a floordrobe kind of guy, especially in his early years. He knows which ones are clean, it’s fine, just leave it. Of course, he would get better the longer you’re at his place, but still. It’s not that he’s lazy, he’s just busy and putting clothes away takes way too fucking long. (which, honestly, agreed.)

Date nights with Jotaro are... rare. I mean, you live with him, why would he want to go out and pay for something when he could do the same thing at home? They’re nice, of course, but it’s more common for him to take you out to dinner while you guys are on vacation or in a location other than home, because he doesn’t feel like cooking and it’s more special when you’re supposed to go out. Eventually, it clicks in that you are supposed to make each other feel special and will surprise you with an expensive dinner or a short cruise. If you suggest the aquarium he’ll think you’re just saying that because he’s into aquatic wildlife, but honestly doesn’t put up much of a fight and will answer any questions you or anyone else has about the fish.

He does enjoy a good relaxing movie (or documentary) night at home, though. It’s so nice to finally be finished work, settle into your super comfy couch and just chill until he gets tired. Even better when you’re lying on top of him with your head just under his chin. There’s something so soothing about smelling your perfume, shampoo, conditioner, cologne, etc. To just smell you so close to him and feel your weight. Aaah. So nice.

    The microwave beeps faintly from the kitchen signalling that popcorn was done. You trailed out soon after, tossing the bowl to mix around the butter. You smile sweetly at him, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on Jotaro’s lips before settling into his lap, nestling your head just under his while stretching out your legs. His arm instinctively moves from the back of the couch to drape over your back, rubbing circles into it with his thumb.

    He sighs; relaxed, finally. He allows himself to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes for a moment, just basking in your comfort. When he opens his eyes, he pulls you closer to him, feeling your heart beat almost in time with his. It was moments like these that eased his panic of losing you. You were here in his arms, safe and sound and vice versa. He was safe in yours.

Yeah, he’s a little angsty. But, can you blame him? He’s getting better, though. With help, of course. With you being around so often (and being very adamant that you’re not going anywhere) he’s able to let go a little. He’s not perfect, by a long shot and progress is slow, but it’s the little things like these that makes you proud of how far he’s come.

PDA is common, but a little restricted. When you’re out together, Jotaro’ll always have his hand on your back or shoulder. Hand-holding isn’t really a thing for him, but he will make sure you know he’s there. He’ll kiss you in public, but it’s not nearly as intimate or special as when you’re at home. Still, it’s a sweet reminder that he loves you, seeing as words of affection aren’t really his thing.

I mean, he can express himself just fine, but he still gets a little nervous saying things like ‘I love you.’ It’s more along the lines of ‘I care about you.’ Or, well. “of course, I care about you. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” Which... thanks. I think.

Kissing him is so nice, so you’re not too mad about him doing that instead of words. When Jotaro kisses you it’s full of a mix of emotions. Mostly caring, but on his rough days, there’s something else there. It could be worry or whatever the emotional equivalent of never letting you go is. You can always tell that he wants it to last a little bit longer. There’s something in the sad look in his eyes when he or you has to pull away. Sometimes he’s overly gentle like he’ll break you somehow, especially if you’re not a stand user or fighting-inclined (whether physical or otherwise). It’s not patronizing, or at least he tries not to be patronizing, he just prefers you safe.

    It started out simple enough. You and Jotaro were just sitting at the table, eating dinner when he got this... sinking sort of feeling. There was something in the silence between you that just sent his mind spiralling. Thoughts of you someday dying too soon for whatever reason or leaving him because he’s not there enough, stand users, car crashes, divorce. They all started to flood into his mind, fabricating that you would somehow be taken away from him.

    “Jotaro? Are you okay?” Your voice rings through; a bright light breaking the storm. He’s been staring at his plate for a while now, his eyes are dry and itchy. He looks at you and tries to say something, but the words don’t come. Is he okay?

    You stand up and walk over to him, cupping his face gently. You rub the dark circles under his eyes while kissing his forehead. Jotaro slowly wraps his arms around you, letting his face fall into your hands. You’re pulled into his lap after a few minutes, running your fingers through his hair next. Finally, he sighs, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

    “Thank you,” he mumbles and though you’re not quite sure why, you still say a quiet you’re welcome, silently soothing him through whatever happened.

If you couldn’t tell, he needs a lot of reassurance. Not so much words, but actions like the snippet above. I mean, he can be as strong as he wants but we all know he’s got some baggage and while he’s able to put it aside, for the most part, I think when you’re at home he’s just a little more vulnerable.

Now, onto happier things! If you like coffee or tea, he will always make you a cup in the morning. Jotaro is a very early riser except on the weekends, so he usually gets that done while reading or watching the news and when you come down, he’ll ask if you want breakfast then make it for you seeing as he’s more awake.

He loves coffee. So much. He might have a caffeine addiction, honestly. At all times of every day, you can see him with a black coffee in hand and a book or phone in the other. He will switch to decaf at some point, but you might have to switch it for him. He’s forgetful when he gets busy.

Sleeping in on the weekends is like heaven for him. The two nights (or more on holidays) that he gets a full nights rest, breakfast in bed and a warm soul to cuddle into. He’s usually big spoon with a hand just resting on your side, but please, for the love of god make him the little spoon once a week. Will never admit it or vocalize wanting it. He just grabs your hand and drapes it over him with a “good night” and then promptly passes out.

He’s a heavy sleeper but doesn’t sleep often. Once he’s out, there is nothing that could wake him up except the fire alarm or something like that. It just takes a while. Not because of trauma, but more just internal clock is delayed.

Not a bath guy, strictly showers ‘cause they’re quicker. Most of the time he’s in and out before you can invite him into yours. When you do he’s “reluctant” but showers with you are a favourite of his. He gets his hair washed for him (if he bends down), he can wash you. It’s great.

I don’t think he would want more kids. He’s getting older, busier and just doesn’t think he has the time to care for a baby, even with help. Plus, if they were anything like Joylne or god forbid him when he was younger, he might start greying sooner than he thought. Joylne is a great kid, but... she’s definitely got some of his defiance in him. One kid is fine.

He doesn’t really like pets either, hates when there’s fur on all the furniture. But, if you came home with a stray cat or two, he’s not gonna put up a fight if you say they’re not going to the pound. “Just as long as you take care of them yourself.”

You got him a betta fish once because Jotaro. Fish. Makes sense. He thought it was a little pointless at first. You can’t pet them or play fetch (not like he does those things anyway). All a fish does is sit there and look pretty. You were a little disappointed, but whatever, you’ll take care of it. Then he comes home one day with a 30-gallon tank, freshwater plants and fancy lighting to help them grow which he quietly sets up in the living room. He spent at least a half-hour deciding on where to put it.

A week later, after he’s pleased with how it looks and the tank has been cycled he puts in an order for more fish then lets your betta acclimate to the tank. “There, he’ll be happier in here. The idea of bettas not enjoying or panicking in larger tanks is a myth. He won’t be alone for long anyway. He also won’t kill everything in the tank.” Well, he hopes he won’t, each fish is different. Thankfully, the small school of tetras get along with your betta just fine. From then on, he’s in there once a week, cleaning everything, trimming the overgrowth. It is officially his tank.

[mcrmadness]

11, 20 and 69 for the writing asks?

Fanfic writer ask game.

Thanks! ^^

11. what’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

The history of cars. Years ago I was going to write a Titanic AU (the cruiser, not the movie) about one of my previous fandoms, with a friend, and we both did write a few chapters of that but it didn't really take off. So a few years later (the early 2010s?) I was going to use that idea again and write it about my current fandom and OTP instead, and change the language into English. This time, either, I did not really get anywhere with the idea BUT I did some research about Germany's history in 1912 and if cars had already been invented. Still to this day I remember that cars were invented somewhere before 1910.

What comes to research in general, I don't exactly worry about it, but I do love staying loyal to reality so I do lots of research if I feel that I need that in order to continue. Mostly my research is just band facts, but sometimes I research things like what was typical for e.g. the 90s, even tho I usually remember enough to use my own memories as facts.

---

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

The combination of fluff and (emotional) hurt/comfort, I guess. The latter is usually that something from outside is hurting X or Y, and then the other one is there to support and comfort them. And THIS I have been able to track down to my own childhood/teenage traumas, when I was bullied in school and had no friends and all I ever wanted was to just experience someone simply asking me "Are you okay?" But no one of my peers ever did.

So I kinda got stuck to that mental state of a teenager's moods and emotions. And today I'm too "damaged" to ask for reassurance directly myself (because I can't trust it being genuine if I have to ask for it), so I just keep writing moody scenes with the kind of follow-up I wish I could have experiences back in the day (and sometimes wish would still happen, just the simple "are you okay?", you know...), and rinse and repeat. I'm literally just writing the same EMOTIONS over and over again, just in different kind of settings. It reminds me of when I was a kid and got fixated on some topic and kept redrawing the thing over and over again, e.g. the predecessor for my comics where I'd draw the same story of some fool dino using another dino as a horse, went to a competition without helmet or anything, fell into a very deep water obstacle and ended up watching the competition from TV at home while sitting on a wheel chair with his whole body wrapped in cast.

Writing these is literally like therapy for me but I don't think I'm actually even getting anywhere. Just using it to live through scenarios I needed as a kid or teenager but never experienced and now it's too late as 1. I'm not longer a teenager and 2. I don't let anyone too close to me anymore (not even emotionally, and physical touch especially is out of the picture).

---

69. how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

Yes. I'm hyper-empathic so I always feel what the characters feel. That's also fun because that way I can also go through emotions I have never experienced myself in person. But at the same time: I don't need to be in a certain mood in order to write about some mood, but also writing about a certain mood won't affect my own mood. It's pretty interesting, because I often hear that people even choose their music according to their mood, but I never have that connection with the music I listen to either (apart from maybe like one album that also works as my anger music).

I'm not sure what does "how do you write emotional scenes" mean... I usually find darker themes easier to write and describe. When I'm trying to write positive, I always feel that it lacks something and feels shallow and... yeah, I don't know what it is, but it always feels a bit clumsy - unlike darker moods. With those I'm at my best and I feel that I can get so much emotion in those! I don't know if they're as pleasant to read as what they are to write, but again I have to say that usually such mood in my text has nothing to do with my own mood. I might be on a really good mood or hyperactive etc. and still write some of the most depressing shit ever. It's just the mood of the text and the characters, not mine.

[winterscaptain]

i really love a joyful future bc its so soft!! but like imagine Jack and Hotch talking about Haley after the twins are born, like having time alone with one of your parents when you have so many siblings is already kind of hard pressed so like imagine idk the anniversary of her funeral or something and they talk about her and go out for ice cream or whatever and then come back and they both are kinda down bc theyre sad but then like seeing everyone cheers them up even a little :( i cant,,,

haley day

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader a joyful future fic

oops i made it a fic and its only a little off topic! please forgive any errors - i wrote this in like two hours yikes

universe: a joyful future words: 2291 warnings: discussion of death

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed! edited: november 27th, 2020

When you woke up, Aaron was already gone. There was a note on his pillow, and you stretched as you reached over for it. 

Jack and I are off for our hike at Maryland Heights. We’ll be back sometime in the late morning/ early afternoon. We won’t have service until we’re back down the mountain - don’t be nervous if you don’t hear from us. 

We’ll swing by to pick everyone up so we can go visit H all together. I’ll call when we’re an hour out. 

I love you. 

A

You held the note to your chest for a moment before slipping it into the manila envelope in your bedside drawer. You kept all of Aaron’s little notes - post-its from work, little things in your go bag, notes from mornings like this. They brought an absurd amount of joy to you, and he kept writing them, so you kept keeping them. You weren’t even sure if he knew you kept them, but you supposed some little fun secrets were good for a marriage every once and a while. 

Isaac was already up - your sweet boy, with a bowl of cereal in his lap and cartoons on. 

“Good morning, my love,” you said to him as you passed, kissing him on the head. 

He wiggled in his seat. “Hi, momma.” 

You continued into the kitchen, making yourself a cup of (already brewed) coffee. “How long have you been up?”

“I woke up when Jack and Daddy were getting ready, but I couldn’t fall back to sleep so Daddy put the TV on and put cereal where I could reach it and told me I was only allowed to wake you up if there was a fire or someone got hurt.” 

You huffed a laugh at his matter-of-fact tone - imitating Aaron beat for beat. “Is that so?”

He nodded. 

You returned with your coffee mug and planted yourself next to Isaac on the couch. 

“Momma?” He asked, after a little while. 

“Mhmm?” You set your coffee down on the table and tucked your legs up under you, facing him. 

“What’s Haley Day?” 

You opened your arms to him, and he put his cereal down and curled into you. “Can we talk about Haley Day when Dad and Jack get home?” 

He nodded and you pressed a kiss into his dark hair. 

+++

The boys leisurely hiked the path in relative silence, enjoying both each other’s company and the scenery. 

“How are you, Dad?” Jack asked, after a while. 

“I’m good, bud.” He thought about it for a moment and laughed lightly to himself. “I’m really good, actually.” 

A small smile crossed Jack’s face. “That’s good.” 

“What are you thinking about over there?” Aaron said, noting the pensive expression on his son’s face. It was odd - it was a little like looking in the mirror, but Jack would pull these faces that were so Haley. It had startled Aaron more than once. 

“Who says I’m thinking about anything?” 

“I can hear you thinking.” 

Jack rolled his eyes. “Fuckin’ profiler.” 

“Excuse me?” Aaron laughed. He was a stickler for language around the little ones, but he knew Jack swore like a sailor when he was out of the house. 

“I said, fuckin’ profiler.” Jack tutted. “Looks like your hearing is failing you in your advanced age, old man.” 

Aaron pointed at him, eyebrows raised. “Watch it.” 

After a moment, they both broke, laughing out loud. They quieted after a minute, walking a little closer together. 

“I’m just thinking about mom - Haley,” he clarified. “It kind of hit me this morning how…much that all was.” He looked at Aaron, brown eyes curious. “Are you okay, Dad?”

One side of Aaron’s mouth pulled up. “I’m alright. It was really hard for a while, but it gets easier to carry. I know you don’t remember, but you’re old enough now to know that the year before Haley died was...not great. That’s what I had the hardest time handling.” 

“The divorce, right?” Jack’s head dropped as he looked at his feet, still marching confidently up the rock-lined path. Aaron was suddenly grateful, deeply so, for the gift of his son. 

“Yeah. Certainly not a shining moment for either one of us, but I think she made the right choice. She was stronger than me by a long shot, and always managed to do what had to be done.” 

Jack hummed thoughtfully, and Aaron knew he could take what came next. 

“When she was killed, I had to grapple with the idea that she died angry at me.” Aaron looked up, letting the dappled light from the trees strike his face. 

“I don’t think so.” 

“What do you mean?”

Jack kept his eyes up, trained on the path, as he spoke. “I think that’s an easy way to feel guilty, but she didn’t die mad at you, Dad. Aunt Emily told me how brave you were, how you talked to her until you couldn’t anymore.” 

Aaron opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted. 

“Don’t be upset with Em. I asked and she told. Not her fault.” Jack pulled a mouthful of water from his pack before he continued. “I think she wanted you to know how much she loved you, you know? Like, Emily told me she reminded you to not be so serious all the time and to tell me stories about how much fun you guys had when you were young and cool.” He shot a smirk over to Aaron, who rolled his eyes with a smile. Jack squinted into the middle distance. “Were you mad at her that day?”

“No,” Aaron answered quickly. “Not at all.” 

“What were you, then?”

“Scared.” 

“Her too, probably.” Jack’s tone was simple, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to understand. Maybe it was. “You made her feel less scared and you kept calm, even when you were probably more scared than you’ve ever been in your whole life. I only remember her a little, but I think she’d love you for that, don’t you?”

Aaron was quiet for a moment, just looking at Jack as they walked. “When did you get so smart, kid?”

Jack shrugged. “You didn’t answer the question.” 

Yep. He’s my son. 

He couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his mouth as he retorted, “You’re right, I didn’t.” 

Jack crossed the path to bump his father’s shoulder. They were almost the same height, and Aaron imagined Jack would pass him up by the end of the year. “I love you, Dad.” 

“I love you too, Jack.” He reached up to ruffle Jack’s hair, but he ducked away just in time. 

“C’mon, man.” 

Aaron scoffed. “You are your mother’s son - that much is certain.” 

“Which one?” Jack asked with a grin. 

After a moment of thought, Aaron huffed another laugh and said, “Unfortunately, both.” 

Jack’s grin softened. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“I do. But guess what?”

His brow furrowed. 

“You remind me of her so much sometimes it’s like she’s right here with us, you know that?” 

This time, Jack let his father muss the hair on top of his head. “Really?” 

Aaron nodded. “All the time.” Then again, under his breath. “All the time.” 

+++

Aaron called you around noon on the way back from Harper’s Ferry. “We’ll be home in about 45 minutes - traffic isn’t bad at all and we’re just now at the state line.” 

“Sounds good, honey. I’ll start the ball rolling with the girls.” 

You could hear a pair of chuckles on the other end of the line and perhaps a muttered “Good luck with that shit.”

Language, Jack Hotchner. 

Chewing on your lower lip, you added, “Also, Isaac asked. I think it’s time - for him, at least.” 

“Alright. We’ll go sit on the porch when I get home. Jack, are you good helping the girls get ready?” 

“For sure,” Jack’s assent sounded a little distant, but it made you smile.  

+++

You and Aaron settled on the porch swing with Isaac on your lap. Aaron held out his hands palm-up, and Isaac rested his little fingers on Aaron’s. 

Aaron closed his hands around Isaac’s, holding his attention. It was something you two had established early on with the kids: when Dad holds both of your hands, look at him and listen. 

“Mom told me you asked about Haley Day today.” 

Isaac nodded. 

“Before I tell you what Haley Day means, I want to remind you that Mom and I love all four of you exactly the same, okay?” 

Isaac nodded. 

“Alright, bud.” Aaron took a deep breath, and you smiled at him over Isaac’s head. “You know how you and Sophia and Caroline came out of Momma’s tummy?”

Little brown eyes looked back at you and you nodded encouragingly. 

“Yes.”

“You know how Mom and I are married and wear these rings and live together?”

He nodded. 

“And of course you know Aunt Jessica, right?”

A smile broke out across Isaac’s face as he nodded again. 

“Before I was married to your mom, I was married to Haley. Haley is Aunt Jessica’s sister, and Jack came out of Haley’s tummy before your mom and I met.”

There was a little bit of confusion splashed across Isaac’s face. “So Momma isn’t Jack’s momma?” 

You put your hands on his shoulders, and he looked up at you. “Not everyone is like you and me, bud. You came out of my tummy and I’m also your mom, but some people’s moms aren’t the same person they came out of. Does that make sense?” You were going to continue, but you closed your mouth. 

We aren’t going to start the “not everyone has a mom” conversation today. Baby steps. 

“So you’re still Jack’s mom, too?”

“Yes, sir,” you said with a smile. “But at the same time, Haley is also Jack’s mom. So he kind of has two moms, which is also a normal thing for some families. I’m what’s technically called a step-mom.” 

He nodded sagely and said, “Some of my friends at school have step-moms,” but then his face fell into almost comical confusion. “Where did Haley go?” 

You gestured to Aaron and Isaac whirled around. Aaron’s eyes flickered back to yours, and you returned his gaze with soft eyes. 

Aaron took another breath before speaking again. “Haley died when Jack was four - just a little younger than you are now - and so it’s really important for Jack and me to have Haley Day so we can remember her and spend time together. Today is her forty-ninth birthday, and sometimes birthdays of people who died are really hard.” He swallowed, and his eyes misted over. He looked up at you. 

It’s okay. Don’t hide from your son. It’s okay. 

He blinked rapidly, and a few tears fell. Tears pricked at your eyes as well as Isaac scrambled off your lap and into Aaron’s. 

“Mom said that people who have died can’t come back and you can’t see them anymore. Is that true?” He asked. 

Aaron wrapped one arm around Isaac and placed his other hand on your knee. You grabbed it right away, holding him tight. “Yeah, bud. Mom’s right.”

“Do you miss her? Sometimes I miss my friends who moved and I can’t see them anymore.” 

Aaron laughed and squeezed Isaac tight to his chest. “I do miss her. It’s a lot like when your friends move away. She was one of my best friends.”

“Is Mom one of your best friends?”

You brushed tears off your cheeks with your fingers and grinned at Aaron. 

“Yes. Your mom is one of my best friends,” he said with a smile that matched yours. “And Mom knew Haley, too and they were friends. There are a lot of pictures of Haley and Jack and me and Mom on the bookshelf in the living room, but they’re a little high up for you to see them. I can show them to you later, if you want.” 

There was quiet for a moment, as you both let Isaac process the concept of life and death and parenthood in his little four-year-old brain. 

That’s a lot all at once. 

“Do we get to do anything special for Haley Day?”

Aaron looked down at him, “Yes, sir. We’re going to go visit the place where she’s buried and then go out for ice cream. How does that sound?”

“Really good.” 

“Really good, alright!” Aaron rose with renewed vigor, and Isaac clung to his neck as he readjusted his grip. “Can you go get some shoes on and we can go?” Isaac nodded and Aaron set him down with a pat on his shoulder. 

You tucked yourself under Aaron’s arm as Isaac ran back into the house. Through the window, you could see Jack swinging Sophia up over his head as a reward for getting her shoes on. Caroline was attached to his pant leg, begging to go next.

“That went alright.” 

He nodded. “Yeah, it did.” He kissed the side of your head and inhaled. “Thank you.”

You looked up at him. “For what?”

With his hand, he gestured vaguely to everything around you. “Being here, I guess?” He laughed lightly through his nose. “Just - thank you. I know it’s not always easy.” 

You placed your left hand on his chest and rested your head against him as you spoke. “I know you worry, but I have never once felt like second-best or a replacement. Not even a little.” 

“I do worry,” he said quietly. 

“Don’t, please.” You patted his chest twice, a break. “Now, I believe we promised at least one of our children ice cream and I would hate to have a mutiny on our hands. We’re outnumbered two to one and I don’t need Reid to tell me those aren’t great odds.” 

He laughed and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. “There’s no better partner to fend off hangry toddlers than you, darling.”

+++

@arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @lcvischmitt @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ahn @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @thatinspiredgirl @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101

[dukeofonions]

it's kind of weird that you think joan leaving will make the show worse?? because most of the things you don't like about sanders sides are things that joan created or had heavy input in. virgil's recent development, remus and janus's characterization-- you go on and on about not liking any of that, and most of it was joan's doing. so i expected you to be happy they were leaving.

Honestly I've got a lot of mixed feelings about Joan leaving. Mostly because out of everyone they seemed to have the clearest vision of where they wanted the series to go, and their enthusiasm and passion for the series was actually pretty inspiring to me not gonna lie. I loved hearing them talk about the characters and ideas they had, especially as a fellow writer.

However, a lot of the problems I have now that you mentioned (the dark sides and Virgil's development) are things that I think could be handled better, but it's it's important to note that Joan wasn't the only writing these episodes after a certain point. Other writers eventually got brought in and part of me thinks this has something to do with how off everything's been to me. When you got a lot of cooks in the kitchen things tend to get messy.

And unfortunately no one really has any idea what goes on behind the scenes so who knows how much input Joan had or when they started withdrawing from the series before making the decision to leave the team. It's all pretty unclear so I'm kinda just left to speculate.

I do think that at some point the team started prioritizing making the show appear more interesting instead of the writing and the characters. The fact that most of the delays are due to making each episode bigger than the last instead of writing the script kinda speaks volumes, to me at least.

I dunno. At one point Sanders Sides started out as a simple show. And ironically that's kinda what kept me from getting into it in the first place. But then the idea of Dark Sides was introduced and there seemed to be an actual plot going on and I was hooked.

Part of the reason for that was Joan. Every time they talked about their plans for the series it made me excited to see what was to come because I trusted that they'd deliver a good story, that something epic was planned. But instead things have been pretty underwhelming and with how complicated these episodes are it all just looks like a big mess to me.

Sure; there's something good to be found here and there, but now I honestly prefer the simpler episodes of season one over season two. They were able to tell a pretty good story with Virgil, and give each of the main Sides their own character moments that were emotional and heartfelt, in a very simplistic way that worked really good.

Now it feels like they're trying to redo season one but make it "bigger and better" when honestly, I don't think Sanders Sides was ever meant to be "bigger."

Of course I love that the Sides have names, and the room concept is really cool. There's so much that Joan did for this series that I still love. The main problem is that over time it just spiraled out of control and honestly I'm not sure what's going on anymore.

There are so many plotlines going on that some feel like they're not being given enough attention or being rushed through way too fast. Asides appeared out of nowhere adding all this new stuff on top of that. And yes the long waits lead to a lot of pacing issues and making it seem like we've had characters like Janus and Remus for much longer than we've actually have within the series.

Now is it possible that Joan leaving will fix a lot of these issues? Maybe. Like I said we don't know just how much influence they had on these videos or how invested they were. I can't really make a solid judgment until I've seen more episodes without their input at all and see how they compare to those that they wrote.

So yeah, I'm not really glad or upset that they're gone because at the moment I'm still waiting to see how things go without them. Am I glad their pursuing something they've been wanting to do for a long time? Absolutely! I think it's great they're doing something they're passionate about and comics is honestly something I could see Joan thriving in. They're very talented and I wish them luck with their new project.

As for Sanders Sides, like I said, I'm kinda just playing the waiting game and in the meantime looking back over old episodes to analyze things story wise and character wise. Sometimes I end up enjoying things I previously looked over and other things I loved end up irking me. That's just kinda how I interact with content.

Hope that cleared up some things but honestly, I've been dwelling on this topic so much that I've literally come up with so many different freaking scenarios about what could have happened that it makes my head spin. But eh, an overthinker is gonna overthink.

[thebibliomancer]

Archaia’s Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance #10

The Journey into the Mondo Levidian Part 2

The true untold tale of All-Maudra Mayrin’s inaugural adventure!

Well, untold in the show. Comic is telling plenty.

In part one, Mayrin becomes All-Maudra and has plenty of unresolved mother issues and insecurity about it. Her first crisis is the growing Sifan separatist movement which threatens to shatter Gelfling solidarity and make her more of a Most-Maudra. She charters a ride with Captain Kam’Lu to go speak to the separatist leader Fenth but the ship goes and sinks.

So far we’ve had a journey so far but not into or Mondo Levidian. We probably should get around to that soon. There’s only three issues left.

So let’s get started!

When the ship sank, Mayrin jumped overboard to save Kam’Lu. Now they’re stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft.

Mayrin is insistent that they try to find and save the crew of the Scalene Anchor and also Dot. Kam’Lu is equally insistent that No That’s A Terrible Idea. They have no food, no water, and no hope of survival unless they’re lucky enough to find land. They’re in no position to rescue anyone else. Plus...

There are political considerations.

Kam’Lu: “If the other clans believe the Sifans killed the All-Maudra, we’ll never be trusted again.”

He also mentions that Fenth predicted that THIS EXACT SITUATION might happen if the All-Maudra intervened in the Sifan separatist movement.

Huh.

Speaking of Fenth, the plot cuts over to him for a bit.

He learns of the sinking the Scalene Anchor and the presumed death of the New-All-Maudra and thinks hey, its free real estate.

High Councilor Fenth: “That means... There’s no one in line for the All-Maudra’s throne! The seat is vacant!”

skekSa: “How... fortunate! Haha! Ha! Haha! You wanted autonomy for the Sifans! Freedom from the greedy hands of the Vapra clan, yes? That is why honored me with this grand tithing -- to enlist my immortal aid? I am the only one who is sympathetic to your cause. That is why the Skeksis are here. To help Gelfling lead...!”

Call it a shot in the dark but I feel like skekSa was involved in the suspicious sea monster sinking of the Scalene Anchor.

Of course, she’ll probably get away with it. It’d spoil the surprise too early if a Skeksis was caught doing an evil scheme.

Also, look at the ambition on Fenth. Grows up in a matriarchy where clan leaders are always women, where the word for clan leader means ‘clan mother’ and thinks to himself ‘psssh i can do that.’ Good on him. Dream big, guy.

Back over with our mismatched comedy duo, as all Dark Crystal stories must have, Mayrin and Kam’Lu have some mismatched comedy duo banter.

Like her criticizing him for not being able to find land despite being a captain of a ship. And then immediately spotting land while he’s indignantly defending his credentials.

Or her maligning his swimming abilities since he fell off a boat and got knocked unconscious and had to be saved from drowning by her.

So he decides to turn this into a swimming contest, winner gets to be All-Maudra.

Good fun.

Just how I like my Gelfling buddy comedies.

Of course, its all fun and games until the island turns out to be a sea monster that eats them.

And it turns out that the island is a sea monster that eats them.

A mondo levidian, if I had to guess.

Giant turtles passing as landscape. Giant monsters being mistaken for islands. This comic series is too good to me.

So the two slide down the mondo levidian’s throat (gross) MANAGING TO BICKER ON THE WAY DOWN!

Kam’Lu: “Don’t you have wings?!”

Mayrin: “They don’t work well when they’re wet!”

Amazing.

They slide and slorp and flump all the way down to presumably the stomach.

But as they stop to rest, they realize they’re not alone.

Sulub: “Yer some kinda fishie-fish I ain’t ever seen! Betchur tasty! Anyway! No wrigglin’ while I kill ya good!”

OH MY GOD

This comic series is too good to me.

Look at this delightful podling crabtaur.

Once Kam’Lu proves immune to Sulub’s “advanced technology” (ie Sulub stabs Kam’Lu in the foot with a spear), the podcrab agrees to take the two Gelfling to see his village elder.

Sulub actually assumes that Mayrin and Kam’Lu are married and here on honeymoon at the thriving fish digestive system tourism industry I guess. Mayrin claims that Kam’Lu is just a fool and her servant (and Kam’Lu doesn’t speak Podling very well so has no idea about this) and introduces herself as the All-Maudra.

Sulub: “ALL-MAUDRA! The legendary All-Maudra! Well, why didn’t ya say so! Sulub is gilltickled and downright honored to lead ‘the all-powerful and all-knowing’ All-Maudra to our home. You’ll be enjoyin’ to know we’ve kept care of your most regal gifts! Still in pristine condition for havin’ come in a while ago!”

The gut city of Bajula has a statue of the previous All-Maudra, one apparently commissioned when Mayrin was baby.

Huh.

Well. Its helpful to Mayrin that they know about the All-Maudra and are excited to have her here. And that they’re assuming that she sent the statue ahead of herself, like luggage.

Sulub tours Mayrin and Kam’Lu around Bajula. Showing them the goo farms, the visitor center, the fermented... milk wine bar.

The king shows up and is disappointed that the Gelfling want to leave so soon into their visit and asks if Sulub even bothered to show them the goo farms!

But since Mayrin insists that they have important outside stuff to do outside, the king decides to rush through some exposition.

These podling crabs? They’re called Boblings.

Bobling King: “Thousands of trine ago, my tribe set out to explore the Silver Sea as proud, stalwart Podlings! Our regal forefathers were not known to swim, but their bravery was unmatched, and they set out to conquer everything they discovered! All those who would get in their way would be destroyed by the might of the Podlings! Yet there are creatures in this world that are mightier, and the Mondo Leviadin emerged from the Silver Sea and devoured their ships. Thousands of digestive cycles passed as we changed to better suit our new home. Our new world.”

An unstoppable army of Podlings sounds funny until you remember how awesome Hup is. The Mono Levidian may have spared the peoples of Thra a tragic fate.

Also, I’m a big impressed at the lack of linguistic drift. Thousands of trine and Bobling language is indistinguishable from Podling and Gelfling is still recognizable.

Kam’Lu gets fed up with the Bobling King and starts yelling that he’s cold, he’s hungry, he doesn’t want to be in a fish’s guts! Mayrin manages to convince the king by speaking of duty.

Bobling King: “You speak of duty. I know it well. As a leader of my kind, I would do anything for their survival. So yes, I will help you and your servant. Why you married him, I will never know.”

Kam’Lu: “Her what? We’re what?!”

Hah, that misunderstanding is paying dividends.

The king explains that the levidian only surfaces to feed once per trine and that it stays near the surface for a time after feeding.

So if Mayrin and Kam’Lu don’t get to the porticol (blowhole) within eight or so intestinal groans (.... hours??), they’ll be stuck until next trine.

WHICH IS GOING TO BE REAL BAD FOR MAYRIN’S CAREER.

Even though the Boblings are but a simple goo-farming people, the king sends his daughter Gunda, the most skilled hunter in Bajula, to escort them.

Gunda: “But father, the journey as never been done by a single Bobling. You send me into certain danger!”

King: “And do you not crave danger?! My daughter, you are the only one capable and brave enough to undertake such a quest! Please! A duty for your king!”

Gunda: “So be it. I will guide you to the porticol, but know that it is dangerous and uncharted. There are many creatures that call this place home. We must be vigilant. Stalwart. Like my podling ancestors!”

This is a fun little bit because it implies a life and experiences and that these Boblings haven’t just been sitting waiting for protagonists to show up. I mean, they also have been doing that. They have a visitor center set up. But they’ve been living their own dramas.

And off they go! Mayrin, Kam’Lu, and Gunda! On a grand journey to a giant sea monster’s blowhole!

Wait, is this thing a mammal?

So that’s issue 2.

We’re finally in the Mondo Levidian. And now all the protagonists want is to get out. So we’ve got the title, we’ve got an objective, we’ve got some fun side cast, we’ve got a ticking clock before Mayrin and Kam’Lu have to look at the sea monster gut apartment listings, and we’ve got some outside stakes!

Mayrin continues to impress. There’s even a moment right when Kam’Lu rouses after the shipwreck where he seems in awe of her confidence in a crisis.

Kam’Lu has his own personality now that’s not parroting Fenth. Its being a butt monkey, with a slight shade of being a little shit. Between Mayrin giving him shit for supposedly being bad at sailor stuff to getting stabbed in the foot by Boblings twice to being mistaken for Mayrin’s servant-husband, Kam’Lu is having a trying adventure. Plus his ship sank and all of his friends may be dead and if they fail to escape the Mondo Levidian, he’ll go down in history as the idiot that got an All-Maudra killed.

Poor guy.

Gunda has only had two pages to shine and she seems endearing! But it feels weird that Sulub isn’t coming along. He’s the introductory Bobling and all. But I guess speaking only Podling would be an impediment to interacting with Kam’Lu. Still, its weird that he just seems to fade out of the story once the king shows up.

Farewell, Sulub, you funky crab potato.

[letsbenditlikebennett]

Picnic Crashing || Ariana & Orion

TIMING: During the Sweet Dreams POTW PARTIES: @3starsquinn & @letsbenditlikebennett SUMMARY: A mopey Ariana and Orion have a picnic. It’s crashed, quite literally. 

There was a good chance that Ariana had packed entirely too much food in her picnic basket for just her and Rio to eat, but she was happy with the assortment. Plus, with all the baking Athena did and pies Kaden was sending on pretty much a weekly basis, she had a lot of treats to share. While she was still largely struggling with what her role was supposed to be and if her efforts to help were at all worth anything, she was looking forward to some quality time with Rio. There was no hiding that the Quinn twins were among her favorite people in town. More like family at this point, really, even if they were still figuring out their relationship to each other. She had a nice blanket laid out in the common and her picnic basket holding it down. When Rio approached, she put on the warmest grin she could manage and said, “Hey, I hope you’re hungry because I brought a ton of food.” She patted the spot on the blanket beside her and asked, “How’s everything been? I feel like it’s been forever.” 

 Backpack stuffed completely full, Orion made his way across the grass, making a beeline towards the figure off in the distance he assumed was Ariana. He hadn’t really done picnics before. He didn’t know what to bring. Plus, it wasn’t like he kept the kitchen full stocked with food. The kitchen in Skylar and Nic’s house was almost comically large compared to the amount of food that Rio kept stored in it’s cabinets. He was in way over his head in that giant house, but ironically it was cheaper living there then it would be to get a smaller place. Perks of whatever rich person had apparently bought it for them. Instead, he had stuffed his bag with some lunchmeat, bread and the most recent box of goodies he had gotten from Nate’s shop. Don’t forget to smile. He reminded himself as Ariana noticed him. He flicked his wrist into a wave and finished his trek to the blanket, “You know I’m always hungry.” He gave a thumbs up and slipped the backpack off. Lowering himself onto the blanket, Rio pulled his food from the bag and added it onto the blanket. “Oh you know, I live in a giant house with an indoor pool by myself now. That’s been pretty weird. But I guess I’m okay. How about you? And Athena?”

 There was a certain sense of ease that came with spending time with Rio. He was a good friend and she had zero doubts about that. It wasn’t just that though. Ariana found it easy to just be around him. No expectations, no putting on a brave face. She could wear her feelings plainly and sit in comfortable silence with her friend. Judgment would never come, at least not from Rio who had done plenty to show he’d always be a supportive figure in her life. Today, his smile seemed to mirror her own in the sense it was more of a ghost of a smile, there simply to indicate they were in fact glad to see each other even if everything else around them seemed to be going to hell. Even so, it was easy enough to laugh along with his statement. “You and me both,” she joked before her features softened a bit. She wasn’t quite sure what happened, but living alone didn’t sound great. “When you put it like that, it sounds like I need to come over for a pool day. But that does sound like it’d be weird. Did your roommate move out? Me? I’ve been okay. A little bit of internal wrestling since my attempts to help people seem to make things worse, but like, trying to remember this town is just kind of a shit show. And Athena seems to be doing better. I know losing Amanda was hard, but she’s been hearing back from med schools. Kinda… well, I guess a little nervous to see which one she chooses. I don’t want to like ask her to stay, but also don’t really want her to go so there’s that.” She realized she was rambling a little bit and took in a deep breath as she took out some of dumplings and soup she’d made as well as a thermos full of warm green tea.

 Orion was willing to admit that things had been a bit awkward since Athena and Ariana had started dating. No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t erase the past memories of his sister from his mind. The things she used to say. The memory of their eighteenth birthday. Sometimes it was all too easy for Rio to replace the image of that werewolf in his mind with Ariana’s. But he did believe that Athena genuinely cared for Ariana. And despite weirdness, Rio couldn’t avoid Ariana. She was one of his closest friends, someone who he knew he could count on. And when the two hung out, things were just simple. He really enjoyed simple. “Please do. It’ll get better use if you do. I don’t really swim. But yeah she uh- left town recently.” No reason to get into the specifics of Skylar’s departure. He sighed listening to her, not pleased to hear that she hadn’t been having any easier of a time here in town. It never seemed like things would settle down. “I’m sorry. That sucks. Personally, I think you helping me has turned out super well, for the record. But I’m sorry to hear about whatever you are referring to.” Rio thought about medical school a lot too. He wasn’t convinced that Athena would ever leave White Crest. Her entire life was here, he wasn’t sure she would know what to do anywhere else. But a lot had changed since their parents had died. It was hard to tell exactly what was going through Athena’s mind anymore. “It’s hard to tell. Between you and me? I don’t think she’ll ever move out of this town. But I don’t exactly know her as well as I used to.” He lost focus of the conversation as she unpacked more food and he caught onto the smell, “Holy crap that smells so good. I’m so excited to eat.” 

 There was a big part of Ariana that still wanted to bridge the gap between Athena and Rio so they could all enjoy days out together like this, but the steps they were already taken, those were big. And they were enough. Maybe one day things would be easier, for now, she was just going to bask in the simplicity their time together brought. She took a sip of her green tea and slowly nodded as Rio spoke. Pool sounded fun, roommate moving out, not so much. Two times in a row at that had to be pretty rough. “I’m sorry, that she left. That’s gotta suck. I’ll come over soon then… and not just for the indoor pool.” She gave a small nudge with the last part of her sentence before she began nibbling on some of the food. It was a nice little reminder from Rio that not all her efforts to help were for not. Even if they were more in the way of friendship and not any of the crazy crap White Crest threw at them. “Yeah, maybe you’re right,” she agreed not wanting to contemplate it too much on a day where they were supposed to be enjoying themselves, “This town just… it’s hard. But you know that.” Being reassured that Athena wasn’t likely to leave helped a little though. The thought of saying goodbye had made her a bit nervous throughout her girlfriend’s interview process. She wanted the best for Athena, but she also wanted to be by her side. It’d be nice if those two things lined up. “I kind of hope that’s the case. I want her to live her dreams, I’d just… I’d miss her a lot.” She shrugged lightly not wanting to get too caught up in her worries when she heard a loud thud. Her head whipped up as she saw a bicycle colliding with a tree. “Holy shit,” she muttered, “That’s not what you…” She trailed off as she realized the young man wasn’t getting up. She jumped up from the ground instinctively and ran over to him. There wasn’t blood and he had a helmet on, but he was just… out? “Uh, Rio. I don’t think he’s,” she focused on his heartbeat, it was relaxed, “He’s alive but, I don’t know what’s wrong. We should call an ambulance right?” 

 “Nah. It’s okay.” Orion lied. He believed what he said. He was happy Skye left. This town had hurt her, in ways that are hard to recover from. He knew that she could do it. He also knew that to do so was probably a lot easier away from town. He at least loved the idea of Ariana hanging out at the house. The place was far too big for just him. But for as much as it made sense for Skye to leave, Rio couldn’t comprehend the idea of Athena ever leaving town. He expected her to live and die in this town. Just as his parents had. Then again, she never expected Athena to gut their mom either. So his sister had surprised him in more than one way. Still, it felt weird that so much had changed. Rio always thought he was the one desperate to get away. “You think you’ll ever leave?” It was a genuine question. Ariana hadn’t spent her entire life here. She had managed to find some charm in this terrifying town. He wondered how long it would last. Any chance at eating or discussing was distracted by the man crashing into the tree. He jumped up and followed behind her, rushing to his side to check on him. “If he’s breathing then what happened?” Rio questioned, still thankful that he was alive. “Right. Yeah. 911. Calling now. See if you can wake him up?” Rio suggested as he dialed and pulled the phone up to his ear.

 “I’m not too sure. I’d like to think she has reasons to want to stay here, but I don’t want to hold her back either,” Ariana answered honestly. Normally, she would flat out ask Athena, but with things at least being mostly calm, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. Thankfully, there wasn’t too much time to think on that with the bicycle collision. Both Ari and Rio were quick on their feet though hearing the heartbeat only did so much to calm her as Rio called 911. She nudged the young man and loudly said, “Hey, hey, bro-- wake up!” But he was out like a light. There wasn’t even the slightest flinch as she shook at his shoulders. No indication that he could even hear what they were saying or feel her touch. “Something… something doesn’t feel right here, Rio.” Outside of some scrapes from falling off the bike, he seemed to just be asleep. Was her on drugs or something? She began rummaging through his jacket pockets but only found a wallet. A wallet with nothing out of the ordinary about it. “His name is Leon Torres. Uhm…. born 1998? That’d make him 23? 22?” 

 Orion rambled quickly, a bad habit in general made even worse by the stress of talking to a 911 operator. “We uh- are at the park. And he ran into a tree and he’s not waking up and-” Luckily, the operator was much more level headed than he was and cut in to ask questions from time to time. “It doesn’t look like he’s too badly injured. I don’t see any excessive bleeding. He’s not waking up but he’s alive.” He hadn’t actually checked the man’s pulse officially, but he could hear the heartbeat. If he had to guess, that was one of the first things Ariana had checked for as well. “Okay. Okay. Thanks.” Rio hung up the phone and hugged it against his chest as he crossed his arms, “An ambulance is on their way. She uh- sounded pretty confused.” That made three of them. Clearly, Ariana was just as lost as Rio and the 911 operator had been. It didn’t exactly seem feasible that somebody fell asleep while reading a bike and now wouldn’t wake up. “Yeah uh- it’s pretty weird.” Rio hovered awkwardly above Ariana. He didn’t know how to help or if he was just getting in her way. “Yeah. Not exactly prime age for randomly going into a coma while on a bike ride.” He mused, glancing around the park looking to see if he saw anybody or anything around. This felt supernatural. “Could it be a spell? Some kind of drug or poison?”

 Ariana kept her focus on Leon’s heartbeat. It was slow and steady, but not so slow that she’d think he was dying. The rhythm was similar to that of a peaceful sleep. Normally, it was something she found calming, but given the more than perplexing circumstances, she found herself trying not to panic. Nothing about this seemed natural and that meant it was unlikely a human doctor could do much of anything for him. She could vaguely pick up on Rio’s rambling, something she normally found endearing now only furthering the sinking feeling in her stomach. “Good, they can at least monitor him. I don’t,” she trailed off and looked him over yet again. Outside of some bruises forming and minor scrapes from the crash, there was nothing indicative of injury on his body. No signs that pointed to anything in particular. No scent on him that could give them some sort of clue on what the hell was happening here. Rio was onto something with the idea of a spell or drug though. That seemed much more feasible than a 20-something year old just falling into a deep sleep while riding their bicycle. “It has to be. Why else would he just- We could look through your books or something? I don’t know a lot about magic or drug… or human health conditions.” She hated problems like this. If she had her way, all of her problems would be one she could throw fists or claws at and call it day. Unfortunately, life rarely worked like that and she felt frustration building up within her. She wanted to punch… something. Anything, really, but she breathed instead. First in shallow breaths until they evened out into something deeper and she could fight the urge to beat up a tree. “We’ll see what we can look into after the ambulance gets here. It has to be something.” 

 Orion hoped that the ambulance hurried. Despite the man seemingly being alive, this still wasn’t normal. Rio would feel a lot better once the man was in medical hands. Though if this was supernatural then maybe they wouldn’t be able to help him either. Still, it had to be better than just standing over the man’s unconscious body with no idea what to do. Ariana was right, they would be more useful doing some research on this while he stayed under a hospital’s care. “Yeah. Good idea. Humans have some uh- weird medical things. But this seems especially weird.” Rio spoke as if he wasn’t a human himself. Most times, he didn’t really feel like he was. Rio glanced around the park. If this was some kind of spell, wouldn’t the caster have to be somewhere around here? Maybe proximity didn’t matter. His ears perked at the very faint sounds of sirens. “I think they’re on their way. Hopefully it shouldn't be too much longer.” And after they were gone, the two would probably have to pack everything up and head for the Scribe building. “So much for the picnic I guess, huh?”

 In any other situation, Ariana might have laughed at Rio referring to humans as if he wasn’t one himself. She was pretty sure hunters still considered themselves human in the same way spellcasters did. Not that it was something she’d ever thought to ask before now. “Kind of hope it’s one of the weird medical things as opposed to… well, you know. White Crest brand of weird things,” she said softly, still keeping a close ear out for his heartbeat that was still steadily trucking on. They were still going to do their research anyway, but medical seemed so much easier to fix though any sort of medical condition that essentially put an otherwise healthy appearing 22 year old into a dead sleep was alarming. As she started hearing the sirens in the distance, she felt a little more at ease. Monitoring a human to make sure they were alive was high key stressful and she’d much rather be reading a bunch of Rio’s old books… which was saying something considering she hated reading. “Yeah, picnic vibes are pretty dead now. We can snack and research? Keep it real, sleuthy,” she responded with an awkward laugh. The whole fun friend day thing was pretty much ruined. Not that she was sure it was ever really ago in the first place considering they both seemed to be bummed out about other things. As the ambulance approached, she waved to get their attention and did her best to explain what happened. They all seemed just as confused as she and Rio had been. That didn’t leave her with much hope it was in fact medical. “Yeah, he seemed to be just riding his bike normally then sort of just crashed into the tree and isn’t waking up. His pulse seems steady.” 

 It was almost pathetic that Orion and Ariana immediately went to something supernatural for the cause of the collapse. He realized with a wicked sense of irony that a regular medical mishap might actually be more surprising than something supernatural. If it didn’t feel so disrespectful standing over top of the man, Rio might have had to sarcastically laugh. That, or hysterically cry. For some reason, the line between the two always seemed alarmingly thin. “Snack and research sounds great.” Rio agreed, thankful that the food wasn’t going to completely go to waste. The ambulance arrived, either incredibly quickly or time flew by when they were stressed. Ariana took charge immediately, describing the situation Rio slipped away from the group to head back towards the picnic set up they had abandoned. He worked on packing up the area, glancing over from time to time to check on Ariana. The looks on the EMT’s faces were particularly comforting. He finished packing things up and made his way back over to Ariana as they began to load him into the ambulance. “I hope he’s okay” He wished he could offer more wisdom than that, but all he had was well wishes and motivation to try to find the answer to whatever caused this. “I got everything ready to go.”

After a quick rundown of what happened, the ambulance and Leon were off to the hospital. Ariana watched warily for a moment before she walked back over to Rio. The same reason that made this little Maine town perfect for someone like her made it dangerous for so many others, dangerous for herself even. It was hard not to feel a certain sense of disenchantment for a place she was once determined to make home, but all the same, she couldn’t imagine ever leaving. There were far too many people she cared for so that meant she had to do her part in making it better. She grabbed some of their stuff that Rio had packed up and said, “Thanks, I’ll drive. Hopefully we can find something.” It was a big thing to hope, but she wanted to help. Really help. Somehow, it didn’t help that the possibilities were truly endless, but at least they could try. And if anything, at least they wouldn’t be alone.

[confusedbluecactus]

I posted 123 times in 2021

20 posts created (16%)

103 posts reblogged (84%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.2 posts.

I added 61 tags in 2021

#fanart - 11 posts

#transformers - 8 posts

#tfp - 8 posts

#cactusink - 7 posts

#hollow knight - 6 posts

#hollow knight fanart - 5 posts

#autothotsrollout - 5 posts

#tooquirkytolose - 4 posts

#transformers g1 - 4 posts

#adorable! - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 105 characters

#just like loki i believe the show can be better and the writers and directors have a chance at redemption

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

A simple comic for practice. I don't do comics a lot, I kinda want to try to make more. This is like the second one I've made and it's just to figure out how. I have no idea why the bigger pieces tend to come out blurry, but at least the last panel is clear.

The context behind this is that I usually die in the most avoidable ways. I don't jump high enough, I forget I can run, etc. etc. I play Hollow Knight mainly because I enjoy the lore and exploration, but in order to explore you gotta fight through a lot of enemies and bosses.

The backgrounds are just blurred googled pictures of in-game locations.

12 notes • Posted 2021-07-22 03:27:05 GMT

#4

Here is page 2 of 3 of my little comic. I'm sorry that's it's been a whole month since I posted the first part, I am currently attending college and forgot to bring my tablet with me when I moved in. I've also been distracted by schoolwork lately, things picked up by the 2nd week lol and I really want to do well. Thank you for anyone who was waiting for being patient.  ...and as always click on it for better resolution.

13 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 14:01:07 GMT

#3

Found an old drawing from earlier this year. I cleaned up the speech bubbles since my handwriting is very messy. Mythology!Loki trying on MCU!Loki's helmet. The rest of the page will follow this one.

13 notes • Posted 2021-09-08 14:01:26 GMT

#2

MCU!Thor gushing over double the Loki's while Mythology!Thor's deciding he done with everything right now.

16 notes • Posted 2021-09-09 14:02:25 GMT

#1

Because it's been almost two years since rejoining the fandom and because I'm pretty sure no one is going to see this (at least, not for a long while) I'm going to do what any person on tumblr does: ramble about a character they really like.

I got reminded that Robots In Disguise (2015) was indeed a show after seeing one of Emperor Kumquat's latest videos. I barely remember anything beyond the first season besides vague feelings of childish enjoyment, okayness, disappointment, and random bursts of anger. And before I begin to ramble about something other then what I planned to (and most likely just re-state things that have been said a hundred times) I'm just gonna get to it.

I have really mixed feelings about Starscream's RID re-design.

On one hand, there are certain aspects of it that I do like. I thought it was kinda cool that it looked like they took some of G1 Scream and TFA Scream's characteristics and at least kept a little bit of his heels. I kinda also liked his wings, and the "avenging angel" look they gave him as Emperor Kumquat said. But, sometimes his design kind of feels not so nice to look at. It's weird.

I honestly don't know how to explain it. Sometimes he just looks off to me.

I'm also not a fan of how they re-did his claws. I don't even know if these pictures help illustrate the point, I just picked the two that I thought looked closest to how I felt off of google.

Yeah, I don't know how to explain it other than it feels off. It feels like Starscream, but not at the same time. I really loved his old design and it's one of the reasons I was always drawn to him whenever he entered a scene. He was intimidating in a more subtle way and had a somewhat regal, knightly appearance. Everything about him was expressive. His wing movements, his facial expressions, his giant pointy eyebrows, the way he moved. And single thing about him caught my eye, made me want to keep watching him.

I was excited when they brought him back because I missed him and was glad that he wasn't dead like I thought was, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed when I saw his redesign. I was even more disappointed with how they took him out, but this post isn't about that. This is just me talking into the void that is the internet about how I felt about a character's redesign from a show that's like 4 years old. This was also a surprisingly short ramble, which I guess is good for whoever is reading this. This probably would have been a lot longer if I talked about the show itself, but I'm pretty sure I would just be re-stating points that other people have said before.

36 notes • Posted 2021-05-24 02:21:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[chalkxtabletxtowers]

~A beach day full of feelings~

•Fandom: Ducktales, kinda? I based this fanfiction mostly off of the Italian comics, or "Lustige Taschenbücher" in Germany because the chemistry between the two is ströng there.

•Pairing: Donro, Donald x Gyro

•Warnings/Notes: Trans!Gyro is hinted, otherwise, this is just cute and wholesome. I originally wanted to upload it on valentines day, but I spent the day with my girlfriend and forgot about it, so here you have it now.

Everyone around them seemed to get the hints. Everyone around them seemed to understand what kind of relationship it was between them, better, than the two of them did. They were painfully oblivious, so much so, that they brushed the suspections of the people surrounding them off, even though they weren't unaware of them. But they both knew, or thought to know, that just because they were good friends, and because of that spend more time together, that that didn't mean something was going on between them.

Donald spent the days in the laboratory more often, these days. To upgrade his suit, that had been damaged pretty badly in the last incident with Magica. Even though he only understood half of was the scientist was explaining to him, it was still interesting to see old and new weapons, that were supposed to help him in the fight during crime.

On the inside, he knew that he liked spending the time in the laboratory. Being surrounded by someone. With the scientist in the room, he never had to fear that the silence took over. Silence, that he experienced everyday once the kids were out of the house. Since he never kept a job for more than three days, he didn't have any distraction. Without the three bringing life into the house, it was strangely empty, silent and big.

He had no real entertainment, besides reality TV, but that had changed ever since he spent the days in the laboratory. But he knew, that these days would be numbered pretty soon, after all, Gyro wouldn't have to fix his suit much longer, it was in pretty good condition again and the new weapons and inventions were all added, as much as that was possible.

But Donald didn't want these days to be numbered, which he, of course, couldn't tell Gyro. They were friends, and they did tend to spend some time on the weekend but... That would've been just weird, especially because Donald wasn't an apprentice, and probably wouldn't have been a very good one at that.

"There we go." the voice of the chicken interrupted his thoughts and the duck jumped "It's all fixed and ready for crime fighting again. I bet you were missed on the streets while having your forced break. But these days are over."

Donald was glad, that his suit was repaired again. He was glad, that he could do something against crime again. But on the other side, he was quietly crying. He decided to do something about it "The kids and I wanted to go to the beach on the weekend. And as a thankful gesture-" Since he obviously didn't have the money to pay the scientist "You could join us?"

The inventor seemed surprised. Not, that this was the first weekend he spend with the duck, but usually it was pretty spontaneous. Donald had never flat out asked like this, especially not in the middle of the week. "I.."

Gyro look around over his stuff, and his tables, and sighted "Think I could use a break"

When Donald returned home, the kids were already home too. He could tell by the mess in the hallway and the tossed aside schoolbags. He knew that homework hadn't been touched yet by either of them, but was too relaxed to care. He was in a good mood, but didn't really want to realise why. He just told himself it was because he could finally protect the city, and therefore the people that meant something to him, again. That was the reason, surely.

Donald decided to make pancakes for dinner, and when the kids came down the stairs because they had smelled them, they noticed that something was definitely up with their uncle "Why are you so relaxed?" "Yeah, why aren't you mad at us for not doing our homework yet?" "Did something exciting happen? Did you win the lottery? Are we rich?" "Are we rich?" "Are we?"

Donald chuckled. He wished. Well, technically, the family was rich, but he would've never gotten a single coin from his uncle, at least not until he eventually passed away. "We're not rich." He said as he sat down "I just..." He shrugged "Had a good day. Oh, and, we won't be going to the beach alone."

The three were, on their own, very well aware that their uncle had a crush. It wasn't something he could hide very well. The signs were too obvious. And they were also aware that this crush was centered towards a certain inventing chicken. But Donald, admitting that? Wouldn't happen. "Will Gyro be joining us?" Louie asked, his brothers chuckling in the background. God, it was so obvious "Yes. And that's nothing to make fun of! We're good friends and I'm being nice to him as a reward for all the good things he has done for us in the past! Including inventing stuff that wasn't only useful for me."

He looked at the three, and they knew what he was talking about. Their video game, that they could scan themselves into. Yeah, that was indeed a rad thing.

The rest of the evening wasn't so quiet, the three just couldn't stop teasing their uncle, no matter how often he kept denying a crush.

Gyro, on the other hand, wasn't much better. Not, that he wasn't well aware of the fact that he was a gay chicken.

No, he was just nervous of the thought of sharing a beach day with Donald, even though spending the weekends with the duck wasn't unusual. Sometimes, Donald would just come over for new inventions or to get something on his suit fixed, and afterwards they'd go to a café or watch a movie. Nothing unusual, just things that friends did.

And since they were friends, he was confused about his sudden nervousness. Why was a day at the beach something that suddenly scared him? After all these years, feathers had obviously grown over the scars on his chest, and he felt confident with being a male chicken.

In any way, the nervousness caused him to loose his concentration and he sighted in frustration. He wouldn't get anything done anymore, he had to take a break and clear his thoughts.

But eventually, the dreaded saturday did arrive, and there was nothing they both could do about it.

And even though they both were beyond nervous, they were also excited to spent the day with the person that meant something to them, even though they both weren't aware yet, what exactly that certain something was.

"Have we got everything?"

Donald asked, afraid that 313 would explode at any minute, judging by how full the poor car was. A single pool float was laying around, and he had almost tripped over it, and the sunscreen seemed to glue his feathers together, but he didn't care. Today was a good day, and he wouldn't let it get ruined by his reappearing bad luck.

"We think so!"

The triplets shouted back as they pressed themselves on the backseat of the car. After Donald had made sure they were strapped into their seats, like the good uncle he was, he started driving towards the beach.

"So, will you tell him today?"

Huey suddenly asked, the biggest grin plastered across his beak.

"Will I tell who what today?"

Donald asked, although he knew what they were talking about. And he could've sworn he got red under his cheek feathers.

"Will you tell Gyro today-"

Dewey continued "That he's the love of your life?"

Louie ended the sentence.

They didn't care if their uncle was in a gay relationship, as long as he was happy. And Gyro had visited them so often, that by now, they kinda viewed him as a uncle themselves. They just wanted them to finally realise their feelings, and be officially in a relationship. So that their uncle could be constantly as happy as he had been on Wednesday.

"I am not in love with him."

The duck stated, yet again. This wasn't the first time he had to defend himself in front of the kids. "We're very good friends, and that's all their is. Aren't you three glad that your uncle has found a friend?" All that he got in return from them was a simple chuckle. They knew.

After Donald had parked the car, they hopped out of it "Well, we wish you luck"

They said, before running, trying to find a good spot for themselves and the two love birds. They didn't want to be in the way of their confession.

And Donald, who was waiting at his car, did think about their words.

In love? Him? Well... He certainly knew how love felt, but... Yes, he liked to spent time with the chicken. Yes, he liked the chicken around him, and his company. And yes, they had slipped in each others arm once or twice during sleeping, but love? Didn't love cause butterflies in your stomach and a fast beating heart? He didn't feel anything of that. So it couldn't be love after all, right?

While Donald was lost in his thoughts, Gyro was already on the way to the beach, glowing with excitement.

He was, semi, aware of his feelings, or at least by now finally knew that they extended friendship. He wasn't sure yet in what way, but he was sure of one thing: That he was going to find out today. At least he wanted more weekends like this one, he told himself, and when he saw the bright red car on the horizon, he slowed down "I'm here."

He greeted Donald and almost automatically had to smile. This felt so normal, so... Domestic, as if they were a couple for years. Wait. Couple? Had he just really thought that? Blush started to arise at his cheeks, and the duck obviously noticed it, while the two made their way to the beach, the inventor either next to him, or behind him, when the way got slimmer.

"Are you alright? You look so red. Sure you haven't catched a sunburn already?" The worry in his voice came automatically, when you are a uncle of three very active nephews, you're basically worried 24/7. And, he also wanted his friend to be well. Everyone would've cared about their friend, right?

"N-No, I'm alright, the sunscreen is strong enough." Gyro quickly stuttered together, and the sailor just nodded. Eventually, after some silence, Gyro decided it would be best to switch the topic "And, did you try the new suit out yet? I hope everything works well?"

Donald nodded "Yeah, it's really good. I feel safer in this suit than I did before. The new inventions are practical, though some could need improvement." He chuckled.

When the triplets saw them walking over, they decided they had to do something. It was maybe the most cliché plan of their short life's so far, but something had to be done. These two couldn't continue walking around, being so oblivious towards one another.

So, Huey decided to take matters into his own hands and stretched his feet out. Normally, he wouldn't have wished his uncle to trip and fall over, but in this case, it was necessary for once

And, as the bad luck had already foreshadowed, their uncle did trip and fall, the scientist, that had walked behind him, falling on top of Donald. The three cheered, that was exactly what they had wanted. They didn't care how cliché this was, they knew it would work.

And sometimes, the most cliché ways were the best ways. As Donald rolled on his back in a dizzy attempt to orientate himself, his eyes catched the eyes of the scientist. In that moment, he realised it.

Maybe love wasn't all butterflies and a fast beating heart. Maybe love was all about finding comfort in someone. And being at home, with someone. And with Gyro, he certainly was at home.

"I-I love you."

The duck spurted out, his face immediately after becoming so red, that it could have been a rival to the worst sunburn. As Gyro heard the words, the chicken blushed again, before clearing his throat "I-I can only agree. The time we spent together is the most beautiful time of my entire day. I'm always looking forward to it, and when you're gone, I feel lonely. I feel like a part of me is missing. With you..."

"I feel comforted and at home. I feel like I'm in a safe space with someone, that understands me and doesn't judge me. And someone, that certainly knows my deepest secrets."

As the two joined each other in a loving kiss, the triplest cheered. They had known it all along.

[s3ungyoun]

❝my eyes want you more than a melody❞ [single dad!seungwoo x reader]

genre: smut, fluff (?)

warnings: explicit language + content, age gap, unprotected sex, it’s kinda soft ngl 

word count: 4.4k

a/n (please read 😭): sorry for being so inactive!! exams + personal issues have been killing me lately. i’ve been sitting on this au idea for a couple months and i finally finished it so i wanted to post!! comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. i feel like this has a lot of unnecessary build-up until the smut which i usually don’t do, so pls let me know if u like it this way or not <3 ty pls enjoy

Seungwoo was untouchable.

Disregarding the fact that he was sinfully attractive and unbearably kind (aka, way out of your league) — he also just happened to be the dad of the child you babysat most weeknights. Harboring a crush on an actual father was not exactly ideal, yet you somehow managed it anyways. 

It was the little things, really, such as the way he would ask you to stay for dinner in his honey-like voice, or how his long, slender fingers looked as he ran them through his hair, rousing it in the process. Or maybe even the way he would always give his son a goodnight kiss, melting your heart as you wished he would give you one too.

“What are your plans for tonight?” your friend Yohan asked, snapping you out of your reverie. 

“Hmm? Oh, I’m watching Dongpyo.”

At that Yohan let out a slight chuckle, leaning back in his chair and mockingly raising his brow at you. Your crush on Seungwoo was painstakingly obvious to everyone except for him and Dongpyo (which you constantly thanked god for, seeing as the child couldn’t go a day without running his mouth). Seungwoo and Yohan were close family friends, and Yohan had actually assisted you in getting the job — unable to watch Dongpyo himself due to his busy schedule. Being a broke college student, the job was practically magical; the pay good and hours more flexible than other jobs available to those your age. Which was exactly why Seungwoo was so untouchable. You needed this job, and the thought of ruining it over a simple crush haunted you through every interaction. 

“The fact that Seungwoo-hyung hasn’t noticed obsession with him yet still amazes me.”

“Shut up,” you groan, glaring at him. “I’m not that obvious.”

“You look at him like you want to get railed.”

“And? I do.”

Yohan scrunches his nose up in disgust. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that.” 

-- 

Picking up Dongpyo from school was something you enjoyed immensely. The walk home was spent with the 7-year-old ranting about his day, whether good or bad, and you nodding your head as if you totally agreed that his classmate, Minhee, was selfish for stealing his crackers during snack time — or whatever petty drama elementary students dealt with. 

Today, Dongpyo had gotten in trouble for talking back to his teacher, and you couldn’t help but coo at his pouty expression, reaching out to pat his head in sympathy. 

“Just follow her orders next time. Then you won’t get put in time out.”

“You don’t understand!” he whined, shaking his little fists. “She was wrong, I just wanted to correct her! She’s so mean to me.”

Chuckling, you turn to grab the child’s hand as you both cross the street, soon arriving to his and Seungwoo’s apartment building. Dongpyo switched the subject as you rode up the elevator, now telling you about Hyeongjun’s epic birthday party. This was the best part of your day — bonding with Dongpyo. While Yohan and Hangyul assumed you only liked the job for the perk of talking to Seungwoo, you did genuinely enjoy his son’s company. Not only was he adorable, but funny and warm-hearted as well, all traits you assumed he inherited from his father. 

The apartment itself was clean and sleek. While you had initially been surprised at the size of it, you quickly learned that Seungwoo’s job, whatever it was, paid quite well. 

Despite the apartment’s organization, Dongpyo’s toys still occasionally littered the floor, and you were careful not to accidentally step on a lego or break one of his precious toy cars. On days he felt especially active he would ask you to play with him, but for the most part he studied and stared at his iPad.

You were grateful for his low maintenance. Even though Seungwoo was gracious enough to work with your class schedule, you still arrived home late, leaving you barely any time to complete your assignments. Sometimes you wished the job was a little more demanding, Seungwoo a little harsher — because maybe then you wouldn’t feel the way you do.

--

Seungwoo arrived home a couple minutes earlier than usual that day, and you perked your head up at the sound of keys jingling in the lock, Dongpyo excitedly jumping up from his place on the couch to run towards the door. 

“Daddy!” he yelled, bouncing up and down while waving his arms as a signal for Seungwoo to pick him up. The father complied, his previously weary eyes sparkling in delight as Dongpyo nuzzled his face into his chest. 

“Was he good today?” Seungwoo asked.

“Well...” you began, glancing at Dongpyo. Noticing the pleading look on his face, you quickly changed your expression. “He was great! As always.”

Even if Dongpyo had decided to act up, you never quite felt like telling Seungwoo — seeing the smile come off his face as he solemnly disciplined his child broke your heart more than you wanted to admit. That, mixed with Dongpyo’s unresistable pout, usually kept him out of trouble. 

Seungwoo smiled. “Of course he was, I’m sure you keep him in check anyways. You don’t want to bother our precious babysitter, do you Dongpyo?”

Your face flushed, color lighting up your cheeks as Dongpyo giggled in agreement. “Y/N is the best!”

“Mm, she is, isn’t she?”

Letting out a slight chuckle, you pick up your things, simultaneously wanting to go yet dreading having to leave. Seungwoo puts Dongpyo down and turns towards you.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” he asks, and you feel your heart leap a little. Dinners with Seungwoo weren’t extremely common, yet he did invite you to stay every once in a while It was rare that you took up on his offer, however, too worried you might embarrass yourself in some way that would haunt you for the remainder of your life. Besides, you were busy as well. 

“Ah,” you looked down. “I actually have a lot to do. Thank you, though!”

A flicker of disappointment flashed upon Seungwoo’s face, but he was quick to mask his dismay, nodding and wishing you farewell as you walked out the door. 

There were few sensations in the world that made you feel breathless, as if you were peacefully falling; a moment of tranquility yet exhilaration. Seungwoo smiling was one of them.

--

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” Hangyul suggested, thumb scrolling through his twitter feed as he laid haphazardly across your couch.

“Yeah, Seungwoo-hyung is nice. He’s not going to fire you for having a crush on him.” Yohan agreed.

Whining, you scowled at them. “How do I even approach that? ‘Hey, father of the child I’m currently making sure doesn’t die, I think you’re hot.’ No, that’s stupid. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”

“That’s kinda good actually. Brief, but gets the message across. Maybe don’t reiterate the fact that you babysit his kid, though.”

“Wait,” Hangyul interjects. “I have an even better idea.”

“Which is?” you prompt.

“I’ll make a shirt that says ‘Please Fuck Me.” You can wear it next time you go over.”

“Ooh,” Yohan exclaims. “Subtle. I like it.”

You throw a pillow at them. 

--

It was Monday, and Dongpyo seemed to be even more talkative than usual on the walk home. You zoned out slightly, occasionally nodding and mumbling one-word responses as Dongpyo continuously blabbered. In a way, you felt bad, but you had too much on your mind to listen to the seven-year-old complain about his teacher — no matter how adorable he was.

Dongpyo, however, sensed your wavering attention, tugging on your jeans while pouting slightly.

“Y/N,” he whined.

“Yes?” you asked, finally looking at him.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

Eyes widening comically, you laughed while crouching down to his level. “No, I don’t. But why would you ask that?”

His pout turned into a smirk. To be frank, you were quite scared of Dongpyo at times — despite his innocent face, he always seemed to be planning something. “Well, Daddy said you were pretty, and Uncle Wooseok told me that when you think someone’s pretty, it’s because you like them.”

“I don’t think your dad said that, Dongpyo.”

“It’s true!” He yelled defensively. “Daddy thinks you’re pretty!”

Standing up, you reach to press the elevator button, ready for the conversation to be over as you head up to Seungwoo’s place. “Whatever you say.”

The walk into Seungwoo’s apartment is met with cries of indignation from Dongpyo, the younger still upset by the fact that you don’t believe him. Rolling your eyes, you shush him, hands coming up to rub at your temples. Your head had started to hurt due to the loudness of Dongpyo’s yells, each hour passing by slowly as you attempted to finish a paper due the next day despite Dongpyo’s words still ringing in your mind. Lying was not something he partook in. While the child did have a big mouth, everything he said was true to a certain extent.

Soon enough, Seungwoo is unlocking the door, Dongpyo jumping up and repeating the same scene that had occurred only days ago. It was heartwarming, really, how much the two loved each other. Basking in the affection in front of you, you completely forgot about Dongpyo’s words from earlier — until he decided to blurt it out.

“Daddy, you said Y/N was pretty, right?” 

“I—,” Seungwoo blinked, startled. “Where is this coming from?”

Blushing again, you were quick to stammer out a response, internally thinking of ways to escape the situation. “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer him, he was just saying nonsense earlier—”

“She doesn’t believe me! I told her you said it, and she doesn’t believe me! Tell her I’m not lying, please.”

“Dongpyo,” Seungwoo sighed. “Why don’t you go to your room and play with the new toy I bought you, hmm?”

“But daddy—”

“Go.” He said sternly, watching as Dongpyo stomped down the hallway, lightly slamming his door in protest. 

Stuttering, you motion towards the door, slowly getting up. “Um, I think— I think I should go now, see you tomorrow?”

He focused his gaze on you, smiling faintly when he noticed the blush on your face. “I’m sorry about Dongpyo, he really has no filter sometimes.”

“Oh,” you said. “Don’t worry about it. Kids just have a good imagination.” 

“He wasn’t lying.”

This — this was where the lines truly blurred. Sure, Seungwoo had always been overwhelmingly kind, and at times a bit touchy, but he had never been so blatant before. There were moments of uncertainty, moments in which you wondered whether or not he felt the same way. Of course, you still weren’t sure, but you were at least aware of the fact that he thought you were pretty. And that simple statement was enough to keep locked in both your heart and mind for days or weeks on end, only opening the vault when you felt like further exploring your supposedly delusional fantasies.

You’re quick to leave after that, using the excuse of your paper as you practically run out the door. Once in the elevator, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding.

--

Maybe, just maybe you were a bit more delusional after what had happened. But when Seungwoo invited you to stay over for dinner that Friday, you didn’t deny him. 

The dinner itself was good, and Dongpyo talked throughout the whole ordeal, excitedly chattering about the field trip his school had taken that day. You couldn’t exactly pay attention to the food or Dongpyo, however, too flustered by Seungwoo’s constant stare. At first, you were worried that you had accidentally gotten something on your face, but after a quick trip to the bathroom, you determined that he was simply staring for no reason — staring at you.

As the night calmed down and Dongpyo went to bed, you were almost scared of what Seungwoo was going to do. Clearly, he had something to say — or he wouldn’t have stared at you like that. But what exactly was it? Had he found out about your crush? Were you going to be fired? Your stomach churned anxiously at the last question, fingers toying with the rips in your jeans as you sat on the couch, waiting for Seungwoo to return from Dongpyo’s bedroom. 

“Sorry about the wait,” he said as he sat down next to you. “Dongpyo wanted me to read him a bedtime story.”

You internally cooed, your mind immediately picturing the scene: a tired Dongpyo, desperately clinging onto his father as Seungwoo’s eyes filled with adoration, laying him down and—

Snap out of it, you reminded yourself, instead attempting to focus on what new jobs you could apply for when you got home. Maybe a barista?

“So,” Seungwoo started. “I wanted to talk about Monday, but I haven’t gotten the chance without you running out the door.” At that sentence he chuckled nervously, seeming almost as apprehensive as you. 

You gulped.

“I’m sorry if my comment made you uncomfortable. It wasn’t my intention, and I’m fully aware that it’s not my place to say things of that nature to someone who—well, someone who watches my kid.”

“It didn’t,” you stammered, “It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or anything. I was just, surprised? I guess. I don’t really expect someone like you to think someone like me is pretty.”

He glanced into your eyes, fingers reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of your face. They finally settle on your cheek, and as his thumb strokes your chin, it feels like the air is being sucked out of your lungs, your chest constricting with each movement. “Y/N, you’re very pretty. You’re beautiful. If you weren’t so young and Dongpyo’s babysitter, I would—,” he stops. “Well, that’s not important.”

“You would what?” you implore, subconsciously scooting closer.

His eyes lazily drop down to your lips, and you’re certain that he can hear how fast your heart’s beating. Uncertainty lingers slightly in the air, clouding the mood and making you briefly wonder if this was a good idea — if this was going to ruin everything. You have hardly any time to be nervous, however, as Seungwoo is quick to close the gap between the two of you, molding your lips together. 

It wasn’t rushed nor heated, quick nor sloppy. It seemed to be a perfect meld of everything that is Seungwoo. From the way his fingertips gently combed through your hair, the way his other hand had settled protectively at your hip, or the faint aroma you caught of his cologne — everything somehow pieced itself together to portray his want, to portray the ache he had felt after pining for you all these months. 

You’re the first to pull away, breathing slightly laboured as you both stare at one another, each waiting for someone to speak. You’re not sure why, but every doubt you’ve ever had, every single moment of regret you’ve faced, has somehow been released into your mind. As if a dam had burst, you’re quick to jump up from your spot on the couch, refusing to look Seungwoo in the eye as you hastily took your leave.

You had fucked up.

--

“So, just to make sure,” Yohan said. “He said you were pretty, kissed you, and then you left?”

“Yeah, sounds about right.” 

“Are you fucking stupid?”

You let out an indistinguishable groan, words muffled by your pillow. “Clearly.” 

“I don’t understand your thought process. The man you haven’t shut up about for the past year basically tells you he likes you back, so your first thought is to ghost him?” 

“It’s not that simple!” You yell defensively, strangely resembling Dongpyo in the way you whine.

Yohan sighs in annoyance. “Explain then! What’s not simple about it?”

“First of all, he has a whole child. He’s also a lot older. 

“He’s not even 30.”

“Still! I’m probably too immature for him.”

“Doesn’t he get to make that decision though?” Yohan asks. “If he thought you were too immature for him, he probably wouldn’t like you in the first place.”

Grumbling, you turn to face him, face adorned with a scowl. “Can you stop being annoyingly right for one second? God, it’s suffocating.”

Yohan shakes his head. “If him being a single father bothers you, don’t do anything. But I know you. You love Dongpyo, and you obviously like Seungwoo-hyung too. If the only thing holding you back from pursuing this is the fear that he won’t like you, then, well, you’re even dumber than I thought.”

“I know,” you sigh. “But I kinda already messed everything up, don’t you think?”

“Seungwoo-hyung’s more forgiving than you think. He’s probably just as confused and anxious as you, wondering what he did wrong.”

The gears are slowly turning in your head as you calculate when you can talk to Seungwoo next. It was a long weekend, meaning Dongpyo had gone off to see his mother, and you were off work until Tuesday. While you weren’t quite sure of Seungwoo’s work schedule on the weekend, you still mustered up the courage to go and visit his apartment anyways, Yohan’s words lingering in the back of your mind. 

Tension radiates off your body as the elevator slowly climbs to Seungwoo’s floor. A small voice in the back of your head tells you that this is a bad idea, that it will only result in heartbreak and tears and having to find a new job. But there’s a bigger part of you, a part that is simultaneously fueled by your heart and whatever words of encouragement Yohan managed to give you — and that part leads you to Seungwoo’s door, it leads you to raise your fist and knock on it, and it leads you to step inside. There’s no turning back now, no excuses or hasty exits. Instead, it is you and Seungwoo, finally alone.

He’s the first to break the silence, offering you a drink as you tells you to sit down. You politely decline, making yourself comfortable on his couch, mind reeling back to the events that took place on it a mere two days ago. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you, it was wrong of me to do so. If you no longer want to work here I understand, and I’m sorry for overstepping any boundaries. I just— I guess I just read the moment wrong, and I’m sorry for that.”

“Seungwoo,” you said softly. “You don’t have to apologize, I kissed you back. I guess I was just a bit overwhelmed with...everything. I like you, I really do. And I’m sorry if you don’t feel that way, if you just felt like kissing me for no reason and you don’t want me to work for you anymore. But—”

He cuts you off. “Y/N, I do want you to stop working for me.”

“Oh.”

“B-but not because I’m mad or uncomfortable or anything,” he laughs nervously, scratching at the back of his head. “I like you too. But that’s kinda hard when you’re, well, my employee.” 

“Are you firing me?” you ask teasingly.

“Do you want to be fired?”

“I want you to keep liking me.”

“Well then, yes, you’re fired.”

Giggling, you bat your eyelashes at him, “Can I at least get a goodbye kiss, then?” 

The kiss is heated this time, Seungwoo’s lips fervently pressing against yours as both of his hands trace your hip bones, moving slightly up and down your lower body. Yours are quick to mold themselves into his hair, gripping softly while his tongue coaxes your mouth open. Urgency is replaced by passion, and any hesitation is swallowed with every movement Seungwoo makes. Slowly, he lays you back against the couch, hovering over your flushed body as he continues his ministrations.

You’re the first to push things further, legs spreading out in order for Seungwoo to situate himself between them, the older man practically enveloping your entirety. As if they have a mind of their own, your hips bucked up to meet Seungwoo’s, a strained moan leaving his mouth at the contact. He’s quick to reciprocate, grinding down into you like a touch-starved highschooler. It’s almost sweet, the notion that you can turn Seungwoo into a groaning mess. But you suppose he has the same effect on you. 

Pulling back, he begins to leave soft kisses on your neck, biting softly when you let out a sigh of encouragement. There’s no doubt you’ll have marks the next morning, but at that moment, you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

Soft kisses and nips soon trail further down until he reaches your chest, Seungwoo immediately looking up at you for consent to continue. You nod, but he seems dissatisfied by this, shaking his head while letting out a hum of disapproval.

“Use your words, princess,” he orders.

“Please, Seungwoo. I want you to touch me.”

“Where do you want me to touch you, sweetheart?”

“Anywhere,” you whine. “Just please.”

He smirks at this, fingers tugging at the edge of your shirt as he lifts it off, unbuckling your bra as well. You’re a bit embarrassed — being so exposed — but the anxiety is quickly washed away by his awestruck gaze, Seungwoo leaning back up to resume kissing you as his hand gropes your breast, relishing in your gasps of pleasure when he lightly pinches your perked nipple. His other hand focuses on undoing your pants, making quick work of the buttons and zipper. 

The two of you briefly break apart in order for Seungwoo to take off your jeans as you almost rip away his shirt. If you were to look in on the both of you, it would seem as if you were starved — two lovers reunited after a painstaking absence. Instead, you were simply hollow, desperately clawing at the other for a sense of love and passion.

And indeed, you both found what you were looking for.

Both of you were stripped down to your underwear, yet no hasty movements were made. It was that moment again — that moment of tranquility yet exhilaration. The moment that was only ignited by Seungwoo’s smile, by Seungwoo’s voice, by Seungwoo. And right now, it was being ignited by the feeling of his fingers delicately tracing your core, your panties practically soaked with each circular motion. Slowly, he pulls your underwear down, tossing them across the room somewhere. Digits circling your hole, Seungwoo pushes one finger in, taking delight in the wanton moan that escapes your lips. 

“More,” you beg, hips moving to meet the thrust of his hand.

Seungwoo complies, pushing in another finger and attempting to scissor your open. The movement of your hips becomes more desperate when he adds a third, and you’re quick to warn him of your impending orgasm.

“S-stop,” you tell him shakily.

He pulls his fingers out, worriedly glancing up at you to make sure you’re not in pain. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Did I hurt you?”

Shaking your head, you point to his hard length pressed against your thigh, practically throbbing with need. “No, just wanna come with you inside me.”

At your statement he smirks, thumbs hooking around the waistband of his underwear and pulling them off. Your eyes widen slightly at his size, which doesn’t go unnoticed by Seungwoo, who leans down and kisses you ardently again, hands taking hold of your thighs in order to spread your legs apart and position himself between them.

Gripping the base of his cock, Seungwoo rubs the head against your folds, collecting your wetness while effectively teasing you. 

“Oh my god,” you whine. “Just fuck me already.” 

With that, he thrusted into you. The stretch was slightly painful at first, but Seungwoo had accommodated for it accordingly, giving you a second to adjust before he pulled almost all the way out, plunging his hips into yours again. Your breasts bounced with each snap of his hips, hands reaching out in hopes of finding something to grab onto you. Seungwoo notices this, intertwining his hands with yours with a look of both adoration and lust. 

“You feel so good wrapped around me, princess.”

You could only moan in acknowledgment, your brain foggy and disoriented from the pleasure. Releasing one of your hands, Seungwoo reached down to rub your clit, causing you to clench around him.

“Shit,” he mumbled. “You’re so tight.”

“Seungwoo, faster,” you whimpered, close to reaching your high.

His hips seemed to move at double the speed, drilling into you while you babbled incoherently, letting out small praises and loud gasps. Everything was overwhelming in a good way, each one of your senses being overcome by Seungwoo’s movements. His brow furrowed in concentration, and you could tell that he was close too, leading you to purposely clench around him. 

“Don’t, ‘m gonna come.”

“Me too,” you said, clenching again. His thrusts became sloppy, fingers lazily circling your clit as you both rode out your highs. The sound of labored breathing and racing pulses filled the room as the two of you basked in the afterglow, only breaking apart once Seungwoo pulled out and a light squeal of sensitivity was heard from you. He stood up, leaving to grab a warm washcloth and returning with fresh clothes. 

Sighing, he looks down, “We probably shouldn’t have done this on the couch.”

You let out a giggle, smiling warmly at him as he cleaned you up and dressed you, ensuring that you were fully comfortable before laying down again, positioning you to lay on top of his chest.

“You don’t regret anything, right?” he implores, anxiously gnawing at his bottom lip.

“No,” you affirm. “I told you I liked you, didn’t I?”

“Mmm, you’re right. It’s settled then, right?”

You look up at him curiously. “What exactly is being settled?” 

“That we like each other. That you no longer work for me. That— that I want you to be mine.”

“Yeah,” you smiled at him. “It’s settled.”

Letting out a sigh of content, he visibly relaxes. “Good.”

“But, who’s going to babysit Dongpyo now?”

“Hmm,” he mumbled, kissing the top of your head. “You should do it for free as my girlfriend, don’t you think?”

You could probably get used to that.

[afterhoursfic]

Please, could I get a fic where Vesemir claims the virginity of Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert. For example, it's a tradition that every year after the trials the senior witchers get to fight for the right to have a first night with the newly made witchers. Maybe it's an actual fight or maybe it's a game of gwent. Vesemir makes sure that he gets to claim his boys, before anyone else! Make it as fility as you want my friend!! Please and Thank you!

Warning: dub con

Um I may have given it feelings and I apologise, I’m happy to write something else if you want but this just kinda came out

.

He doesn't know how the tradition started and frankly, he doesn't care, it had started long before he began his training and would likely carry on after he was gone, but as it stood, every year the senior witchers who had left the Path to train the youth at Kaer Morhen would compete in a semi-drunken Gwent tournament to decide who gets to break in the boys about to set out on the Path.

More than a few times he's thought about how stupid it was that they resorted to Gwent a game of luck and chance depending on how your cards were dealt. He had long thought they should fight to see who gets bragging rights that year, but apparently Gwent was fairer and gave all of them a chance to win, which was just the weaker of the lot admitting they wouldn't stand a chance in hell in a fight each other.

Go figure he supposed, but most years he didn't care for the tournament and would purposefully lose early on and watch the rest of the evening unfold. It's not that he wasn't interested in the boys, well he wasn't for the most part, instead he only really cared for the boy he had brought to Kaer Morhen himself, deciding that it was somewhat poetic that he be the one to bring them there and then send them on their way.

Often it meant that he went years or decades without winning the tournament they set up, a mix of rarely leaving the keep to actually walk the path and claim the law of surprise mixed with the sheer amount of boys every year who wouldn't make it past the trials and challenges meant that oftentimes the boys he brought didn't make it to the end.

That was until the year Geralt was to finally leave the keep and walk the Path himself. He wasn't delusional to think the competition this year would be easy, all the senior witchers were eager to covet Geralt, him being the only witcher to survive two rounds of mutations, but he planned to fight tooth and nail to get his chance with Geralt, and protect him from some of the more sadistic tendencies of the others.

He had the advantage that most of his peers thought him an easy target for the games, and sure his Gwent deck wasn't perfect and could do with being updated, but they didn't know about the stash of special cards he kept locked away for just this occasion. It was almost comical watching the other witcher's faces as he won game after game after game until finally, he had won.

A number of them in a desperate plea to get another chance would call him a cheat, and Rennes had even flipped the table in a rage near the end, but the result was the same, he had won and that year he would be the one to take of the witchers.

There 5 boys who would be leaving that year, whilst his obvious desire had been Geralt and by extension Eskel, he couldn't shirk his duty to the other 3 boys. He didn't do anything grand or new, he simply invited the boys to his room one after the other and almost as a lesson taught them how to fuck, how to seek pleasure in someone else until they shuddered through their release and he sent them off back to their rooms.

He'd set the next night to be just for Eskel, whilst it was true he hadn't been the one to bring the boy to Kaer Morhen his similarity to Geralt was striking and he would have been a fool not to have seen how close the boys were to each other. He had been tempted to bring them both in together and let them seek comfort together whilst he took them each in turn but he had different plans for both of them, so it was he waited until he heard the knock at his door and met with the sight of Eskel shuffling nervously behind it.

The boy steps in the room without saying a word and stands there awkwardly in the middle of the room, not sure what to do next, so he finally takes pity on the boy and tells him to strip.

Eskel is almost methodical in the way he disrobes folding his clothes before putting them to the side before kneeling in front of him, head bowed. The sight is enough to make him moan and he can see Eskel's face go a little red when he cards a hand through his hair and praising him for being a good boy.

He almost wants to ruin the boy then and there, but it's not what he had planned, not what Eskel deserved so instead he guides Eskel to follow him to his chair and after taking a seat makes the boy settle between his spread knees, head resting on his thigh whilst he cards his hand through soft, brown hair.

They stay like that for a moment and he can practically feel the tension bleed out of the boy with every stroke of his hand. It's when he sees Eskel struggle to keep his eyes open that he guides his soft cock to the boy's mouth, not to suck but just hold and he groans again when Eskel does it without question, tongue flicking a little at the head of his cock as if to taste him before sinking down the rest of the way and once again resting his head against his thigh.

He picked up one of the bestiary's then and chose a random page to read off of, not that he wanted Eskel to pay attention but he had lectured the boy and had hoped some familiarity would ease the last bit of tension he still held.

Sure enough, the boy was a puddle between his legs, making little moans here and there that vibrate around his cock and he's sure Eskel isn't even aware he's making them. He carries on reading for another couple of pages until putting the book down and gently tugging Eskel off of his hardening cock, telling him what a good boy he was as he helped him stand to guide him towards the bed.

Gently, he helped Eskel settle onto his front, a pillow under his head and another under his hips that gave the most delicious curve to his back and couldn't help but lean forward to taste the skin with a brief kiss to the small of his back. He's not surprised when Eskel tensed again, when he flinched at every touch and press of his mouth as he moved across the boy's body, but he persisted in his task of worshipping the body under him and soon enough Eskel is moving to meet his touch and letting out little breathless gasps with every kiss to his skin.

He lingers at Eskel's shoulders and back until the boy's mind is clouded with pleasure before slowly making his way down to his ass, pressing a kiss to each cheek before gently spreading them to drag his tongue from the boy's balls to his hole. The effect is immediate and Eskel shudders beneath him with a moan and he can't help but do it again and again.

He's done this before to whore's and partners he's found on the Path but never to one of the boys he took to bed, not even those he viewed as his, but Eskel was special, one of the few to retain his kindness and a certain openness that most lost after going through the trials. He's intent on making this as nice and sweet for Eskel as he could because he knew life on the path wouldn't be easy for him. Sure he was skilled with a sword and even more so with his signs, but it wasn't the monsters and the scars he was worried about, it would be the men and women he was supposed to protect that would hurt him the most, so he wanted to give Eskel this, something precious he can think back on with fondness before he's sent out to suffer the world's problems.

It's too easy to wring out the moans from Eskel as he first teases at the boy's rim with his tongue before pushing it inside and feel Eskel shake as he begins to fuck his tongue into him. It was when he began to press a finger alongside his tongue, just teasing at the rim at first and suddenly Eskel is coming with a shout and keeps up his ministrations until Eskel is moving away from him with a small whine at which he finally pulls away to stroke his hands down the boys back instead.

It not long after when the high of his orgasm has worn off that Eskel begins to worry, stuttering out multiple sorrys for not asking, not waiting to come, and he's quick to lean over the boy, his chest pressing him into the bed, hoping it's a comforting weight as he kisses along the nape of his neck as his hand's stroke the boy's sides, all the while telling Eskel how good he's been, how there's no punishment here and he can come whenever he wants.

It takes a little while but eventually Eskel is relaxing under him again, and kissing a path down the boy's back picks up the oil on the nightstand and slicks his fingers. He takes his time opening Eskel, having him come first on two fingers and again on four as they rub against his prostate and it's when he's begging for more, pleading into his pillow that he finally pushes his cock in on one long thrust.

Soon he's setting a slow pace, a simple roll of the hips to allow Eskel to feel him and slowly be coaxed to come at how full he feels with his cock rubbing along his prostate. He's happy to wring out orgasm after orgasm from the boy until he's a whimpering mess, overstimulated and stuck between begging to stop and gripping his hand like a vice, pleading for more.

A couple of times he hears the boy murmur Geralt's name but he doesn't complain, he can't really when he has Eskel flushed red and desperate under him as he works another orgasm out of him.

It's in the early hours of the morning when they finally finish, he came once having pulled out and stripping his cock as he kneeled over Eskel until his come painted the boy's skin and even then he pushed his cock back to continue gently fucking the boy whilst one hand began rubbing his come into the skin of his back, marking him as his, one of his pups. It's when Eskel starts whimpering, tears threatening to fall down his face that he picks up his pace and after a handful of thrusts and a hand around Eskels cock he has the boy come a final time, only a few drops of come adding to the mess underneath him, but it's the boy's cry of 'Vesemir' that finally has him come inside the boy, simply rolling his hips in small movements to ride out his pleasure until he finally pulls out.

He was prepared for this of course and grabs the cloth he'd left in the water bowl on his bedside drawer and with a quick blast of igni has it warm enough so he doesn't shock the boy as he cleans up the come staining his front and back. Eskel is virtually asleep at this point, letting him move his limbs about to clean him up before he presses a glass to the boy's lips and with his help has him finish the water and take several bites of food. Finally, he pulls Eskel out of the wet spot left under him and against his chest instead, stroking his hand through his hair until finally, the boy falls asleep.

It's just before dawn when Eskel wakes again, eyes glazed and groggy as he slowly comes back to himself and he's quick to reassure the boy before asking him if he wanted to stay with him until he was ready or if he wanted to go back to Geralt. He's not offended when he chose Geralt, sure that Eskel would get more comfort from his best friend than his mentor so he simply helps the boy stand, wraps a cloak around him, and picking up his folded clothes guides him back to his rooms.

He says nothing when he sees Eskel immediately climb into bed with Geralt, or at the way Geralt loops his arm around Eskel's waist, pulling him closer so he can bury his nose into his hair.

Later that morning when he sees Geralt sneak out of the hall at breakfast with two plates piled high with food in his hand, he doesn't stop him. Instead, he just hoped that if destiny did exist, it would be kind enough to keep the two of them together.

~~~~

It's two nights later that he summons Geralt to his room and where the other boys had all been nervous trepidation Geralt just strides in, face blank before standing in the middle of the room, hands behind his back and head held high.

It was true the boy was cocky ever since he knew he could best his peers with a sword (Except Eskel of course), a fact which had only worsened after the second trial where the boy had gotten a colder edge to him, one which made him think he was untouchable.

So it's not too much of a surprise that when he ordered Geralt to strip, he didn't move, just stood there still as if he was above it all.

"Strip, or every time I have to tell you you get 10 beatings" Even with the darker edge that always managed to scare some of the hardier witchers, still Geralt remained motionless although there was a tension in his jaw as if he was challenging his threat and he simply growled "Strip...that's 10"

Suddenly Geralt's moving and pulling off his clothes, he doesn't fully know why, the boy never backed down from a challenge that easily before but it may just the setting, the inevitability of what was going to happen in this room that had him listen, he didn't want to think too much on it.

As soon as he was naked Geralt resumed his position standing in the room and he allowed himself to take a long look at the boy, a smug smile at his mouth when he saw Geralt squirm just the smallest amount under his gaze. Having looked his fill he guided Geralt to the bed, but before he let the boy climb on, he first bent him over the edge, hand on his neck to hold him down whilst his hand palmed at the ass in front of him whilst Geralt just gave him a confused look.

"You wouldn't listen so you'll take your 10 beatings now"

"I'm sorry"

"It's not enough to say you're sorry, you have to show it as well"..."You've grown unruly wolf, you need to learn when to back down just as much as when you need to attack"

Geralt just whimpered and after another moment finally went lax under him, he gave a pleased hum, stroking his hand across the boys one last time before he pulled it back to smack him.

He could've used his full strength, he should've, but this was a lesson just as much as a punishment, one of the last he'd teach his wolf and he didn't want pain to be the only thing he remembered about it. He didn't use his full strength but he used enough strength to leave Geralt's skin red and hot where he'd hit it, the boy tense and cry out with each new hit until finally he was done, the boy's ass bright red and looked as if it was already beginning to bruise.

He stroked at the skin and when he heard the pained gasp from Geralt picked up the healing salve to rub into the abused skin and slowly he felt Geralt relax into the bedding. When he was done he ordered Geralt onto his hands and knees whilst he disrobed, but instead he saw the boy on the back, legs splayed wide, still submissive bit a contradiction to his order.

"Do you have a problem following commands wolf?"

Despite having practically whimpered whilst getting his ass beat not a minute earlier, Geralt just lay back, hands behind his head as he stretched out on the bed "No"

He snorted even as he folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow at the boy "No what"

"No, sir" Geralt said it in a way to antagonize him, to mock him but he wouldn't let it get a rise out of him like it did some of the other senior witchers.

"You're a brat, been allowed to go unchecked, well that stops tonight" He got up on the bed and put his hands on the boy's waist before flipping him over and lifting his hips so his head was on the mattress and his ass in the air. When he felt Geralt tried to lift his head and get up on his hands he put a hand on his neck to keep him held down no matter how much the boy struggled to get up, to get some sort of control back.

He doesn't know why as wolf witchers most seemed to develop some sense of pack, about the order and hierarchy and Geralt was no excuse and apparently thought himself at the top, or at least higher than him, but he intended to keep the boy face down as long as was needed before he learned his lesson.

Hand still on his neck he picked up the vial of oil and through some miracle managed to open it and slick his fingers, dropping the glass to let the rest of its contents to spill onto the sheets as he pushed one of his fingers past Geralt's rim. He felt the boy freeze under him for a moment but as he began to move the digit began to struggle anew, not to get away but just to do something, to get out of his hold so he wasn't in the position of bitch posturing for a mate.

He knew he had to move fast so after stretching the boy on two fingers pulled out to slick up his cock before pressing in. Once he'd pushed into the base, both of them panting now as Geralt went lax below him.

Once he's given the boy a chance to adjust he pulls out about halfway before thrusting back in again and when all he gets is a choked off moan muffled by a pillow he begins to pound into the boy below him as if he were a bitch in heat, and he may as well have been by the way he was mewling and growling with each thrust into him, any shame at being made to submit long gone as he tried to fuck back on his cock with every thrust.

It was somewhat heady having Geralt under him, a boy with unmatched potential, practically fucking himself on his cock, with each movement getting only more eager to have his dick back in him again so it was no surprise to him that he didn't last long, Geralt letting out a guttural groan when he felt his come paint his insides but still he tried to coax every drop from him that he could, to use him to get himself over the finish line even more before he went soft, and yet the boy never strayed a hand to his own cock.

He was nowhere near done with the boy and he was silently grateful for witcher stamina as he pulled out and told Geralt to move onto his back. Geralt did so without a word and even grabbed the back of his knees to hold himself open, neck bared as he waited for the next move.

He stroked his dick at the sight, Geralt watching with eager eyes as he got hard again, and letting out a breath as if in relief when he finally sank into him again. Whilst Geralt was a lot more pliable this time around, he curled a hand around the boy's throat just to be sure, squeezing every now and then just to feel the boy shake beneath him, as he felt himself approach a second orgasm he gripped around Geralt's throat and felt his breath catch and his eyes go glazed the longer he was without air until finally, he told the boy to come, and so on the next thrust Geralt convulsed under him as he shouted out his release for the whole keep to hear, his hole clenching so tight around him that he's forced over the edge as well.

After that, he's somewhat more confident that Geralt's learned his place, at least with him, and the boy is all eager energy with the intent to prove himself, so he's more than happy to lay on his back and let Geralt ride him long into the night.

It's hard to tell exactly how long they went for, only that Geralt sure was giving his stamina a run for his money as the boy's hips just kept moving, even after Geralt came, still, he moved, simply grinding back into his lap, but he kept going until he was ready to get up on his knees and fuck himself on his cock again.

A few times when Geralt's head was thrown back, a hand on his dick whilst he had put his feet flat on the mattress to take over and fuck relentlessly into the boy, he heard him whisper Eskel's name before seeming to catch himself and stare down as if waiting for to a punishment that wouldn't come.

The only time he took serious action was when Geralt got a bit too eager, when he would try to grasp his hands and pin them above his head as if he were the one in charge. When putting a hand on Geralt's throat no longer worked he pulled the boy off of him and flipped them over so Geralt was once again ass up below him, giving a couple of lighter, teasing smacks to his now pink ass until the boy came and he let him ride him again.

They carried on like this until the light of the rising sun filtered past their curtains and with a final fuck that had Geralt on all fours with him mounted behind him the boy let out a hoarse cry that would have woken those in the keep if they'd even managed to get any sleep with Geralt's overly enthusiastic shouts and moans for more and harder and faster.

When they were done he made sure to clean him and drink a glass of water but Geralt refused to eat. As with Eskel, he gave the boy the offer to stay with him but with no surprise to him, he chose to join Eskel instead. He watched Geralt change back into his clothes and with a nod and a 'Thank you sir' he left with only the barest sign of a limp in his step.

To say that he was tired was an understatement, whilst he had worn out Geralt, the boy had worn him out as well and it almost felt like he was the one who had been fucked all night. That morning he has a slight limp as he walked to breakfast, earning a couple of pats on the back from his peers and more than a few jealous stares from his seniors and he can't help but feel smug about it.

~~~~

It another two decades before one of his boys is set to leave Kaer Morhen to walk the Path.

Lambert, a spitfire of a child who had gotten through the law of surprise through a chance encounter on a supply run for the keep. He remembered how the boy had screamed and struggled the whole journey up to the keep and cussed him and everything witcher related to this day.

There's less of them now, mages and witchers alike being lost to riots and pogroms against their kind and the secrets slowly being lost with them, but even now they keep up with tradition. There are only two other boys who made in Lambert's year, but the boy's poor attitude is enough to deter most of the senior witchers from actually wanting to win this year.

He's well aware of just what a demon Lambert could be, but despite all the vitriol the boy had aimed at him, he was still one of his and he was still intent to win. The other witchers may as well have handed him the title but he's not going to complain.

As always that first night he invites the two other boys to his chambers and has them leave relaxed and well sated. He knew Lambert would be more of a challenge, the youth well aware of the tradition but would likely try to do anything possible to get out of it thinking there was some sort of shame to be fucked, but that's not how he wants tonight to go.

Instead, he makes Lambert an offer, a fight in the courtyard for all to see. If Lambert won, then he would leave him to his devices to brag about being the only witcher in several centuries, to not be fucked by an elder, if he lost then he would be fucked as was the tradition. The boy eagerly agreed to it.

In the ring the only rule was no use of their signs, all other bets were off and at the shout of Varin, it began.

Lambert was quick to start the assault, swinging and striking his sword to force him back onto the defense as he tried to parry and block. The boy was good and he was fast, on one block of an overhead swing he could feel his hand shake at the impact, but Lambert's greatest strength was also his weakest. His emotion.

It's true the trials stripped their emotions to the bare bone but they still had moments of joy or despair in their lives, and in Lambert's case fury. He goes somewhat easy on the boy so as not to wound his pride too much, letting him keep attacking in an attempt to exploit the moment he faulted, a moment that wouldn't come. Once Lambert had his eyes set on something it was his sole focus, so on one swing when Lambert had exposed his flank he struck again and again until with one kick knocked the sword out of Lambert's hand.

Lambert of course didn't give up, he didn't want to hurt the boy of course but he still gave the odd swing he knew Lambert would be able to dodge before he threw his sword to the side in order to have a fairer fight. Entertainment over he didn't let this last long, letting out the occasional grunt when Lambert got a hit in at his side but it could have only been a couple of minutes before he had Lambert pinned below him, face in the dirt and cussing something fierce.

Through it all he gave Lambert a choice to be fucked then and there in front of everybody or to behave where they could do so behind closed doors, the boy chose the latter.

He kept a firm hand on the back of the boy's neck, as if it were a collar and chain, as they walked to his room, Lambert having long fallen silent.

When they're in the room he doesn't remove his hand as he ordered the boy to strip, and it's with minimal mumbling he does so. He pulled Lambert onto the bed and similar to what he did with Geralt held his head down on the mattress with his ass up although Lambert didn't fight nearly as much.

There moments he would push and tug just so as if testing the limits of his hold but each time he would just lay across Lambert's back, a heavy weight he couldn't move against before he stopped and allowed him to continue. He was quick but thorough in his prep, stretching the boy on the three fingers before he's pressing the head of his cock into Lambert's heat which only got tighter as he tensed at the intrusion.

He pushed forward slowly, little thrusts Lambert could get used to as he gradually eased his way in until he was fully seated. There was a tension in the boy that would probably be there most of the night, but Lambert was silent as he began to move, letting out one or two grunts when he picked up his pace and a curse when he first hit his prostate but otherwise Lambert let him work.

It was when he put a hand on Lambert's cock and stroked in time with his thrusts that had the boy coming around him, barely able to hold off his own release as he felt Lambert clench almost unbearably tight around him, but with a few deep breaths he staved off the edge and carefully pulled out.

Lambert had relaxed a little after that and so it was easier to put him on his back, the boy too dazed to realize what was going on until he had one wrist tied up to the bedpost and a leg about to be tied up as well. He tried to resist then, of course, he would, but a firm hand around his neck and a growl from deep in his throat had the boy settle down with a huff and allowed him to tie up the rest of his limbs.

It's likely Lambert thinks he intends to torture him at this point, and he does but not in the way he expects, not in the way some of the other senior witchers have threatened to do when Lambert caused nothing but chaos and havoc.

No, instead he settled himself between the boy's spread legs and pressed two fingers into his hole and simply held them there, didn't move them or touch Lambert's prostate, just waited until Lambert began to squirm against the covers, bein to try and get some sort of stimulation, a frown on his face.

"The fuck are you doing old man" In retaliation to the comment with his free hand he slapped Lambert's half hard cock, smirking as he watched it twitch at the treatment even as Lambert cried out in a mix of shock and pain.

"What the fuck" This time he flicked the head of Lambert cock and watched as Lambert hissed and let out a drawn out swear

"Watch yourself with me boy, if you want to come then you have to beg" Lambert took that as a challenge and seemed intent to keep his mouth shut and body still, but he wasn't about to give the boy an easy pass.

He slapped the boy's cock again and watched as it grew harder beneath him and slapped it again, the only other reaction from Lambert being a sharp inhale, but otherwise nothing. He changed tactic then, and instead began to tug at one of the boy's nipples whilst he lowered his head to suck the tip of his dick into his mouth, and he managed to break through that wall just a little when Lambert gave a small moan.

He kept up his ministrations until Lambert was almost sweating below him, lip between his teeth to try and keep his nonchalance whilst he slowly worked him over with deft fingers and broad strokes of his tongue. It was now probably an hour after they'd entered the room and he felt Lambert was close, felt his balls tighten and his breath quicken but he was quick to wrap strong fingers around the base of his dick to stop him from reaching his peak.

"I said beg, Lambert"

Still, the boy remained silent and so he kept up his slow torture until he knew Lambert was just on the edge before he pulled away completely, impressed when Lambert only let a small whine escape him at the loss. He waited a minute or so until the boy looked at him again and making his movements obvious started his task again of working over his body, from biting at his nipples until they were red to pressing the nail of his thumb against the leaking slit of the boy's dick.

As before, he continued his efforts until Lambert was teetering on the edge, a couple of strokes of his fist would be enough to get him to come, and again he commanded him to beg, and again he refused instead pushing him to the very edge before pulling him back from it just as abruptly.

He worked over the boy for hours, whether that was mouthing at the head of his dick or pressing half his hand into the boy's hole until he couldn't contain himself anymore, moans and cries leaving his mouth unbidden, but still, he didn't beg.

Eventually, he added a blindfold and then started to tease Lambert with the cool metal of his knife against his hot skin, dragging the point of the weapon down his body, teasing at his balls before dragging up his cock until all Lambert could do was shudder and gasp at the feel of it. He edged the boy for hours and it was a little after midnight when with a voice hoarse from shouting, Lambert finally begged.

"Vesemir, please..."

"Please what" He brushed the tips of the four fingers he had in the boy's hole against his prostate and felt him shudder as his body became more and more overwhelmed the longer he went without release.

"Fucking shit, let me come"

"You can ask nicer than that"

"You old bastard" He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes, of course even now desperate and on the edge, Lambert would still be cussing him out "Please let me come, please-"

"That's good, I was wondering how long you'd last" He chuckled as he pulled his fingers out of Lambert's hole and once again slicked his cock before pressing in, Lambert's face stuck somewhere between a scowl and bliss when he was finally pressed all the way in "See, there's no shame in asking for help"

Now Lambert just scoffed even as he tried to move his hips and get him to move despite their limited movement "Course you'd turn this into another fucking lesson"

"You'd be wise to remember it" He didn't wait for an answer then and began fucking the boy in earnest, his own pleasure had simmered under the surface for hours as he edged Lambert over and over and now that they were at the finish line they were both racing to get there.

In the end, he didn't even need to touch Lambert's cock, just fucked into him with abandon, forgetting himself for a moment and just enjoying the feeling of Lambert squeezing his cock tight as if he was trying to torture him now. Maybe he was, not that it mattered as just as soon as he began fucking the boy, Lambert began to pull at his bindings, head thrashing from side to side before coming over himself with a cry to wake the dead.

The sight of the boy's release and the tight, wet heat of his hole that began to clench around him quickly sent him over as well, riding out the aftershocks of perhaps one of the most intense orgasms of his life, not that he'd ever say that, he didn't want Lambert to hold that information over his head.

Breathing heavily he carefully pulled out and watched as his come began to leak out of Lambert's swollen rim, he went to push the small trickle of come back into his hole but at the sharp hiss and plea for no more from Lambert he stopped and instead began to untie from his bed.

Even now that he was free Lambert just lay there spread eagle and eyes dropping, which was fine by him as it made rubbing salve over the boy's wrists and ankles easier and he got no complaint when he made Lambert take a drink of water.

He was surprised when Lambert made no move to leave, his first thought would have had Lambert all but running from the room in an act to pretend this never happened. Instead, he just moved to one side of the bed to make space for him and turned away to face the wall.

He knew the boy was struggling, it was tough to be that vulnerable with someone, especially for the first time and even more so considering it was Lambert and so he just guided Lambert towards the middle of the bed and between his legs. The fact that he didn't even put up a struggle told volumes that he needed something to ground himself with and so he offered his softened dick to put in the boy's mouth.

There was about a second of hesitation before Lambert took him in his mouth and went to lay his head against his hip. Slowly he felt the boy relax against him and slowly fall to sleep and he couldn't help but card his hand through dark hair before he too fell asleep, sure that despite taking comfort now, come morning Lambert would be gone, but if that's what the boy needed he wouldn't stop him.

~~~

It's 70 years later and it's only him and his pups left. All the other long dead leaving the walls of Kaer Morhen haunted and quiet.

His boys have made their own way on the Path, made friends and allies and enemies and sought their own comfort amongst others, yet every winter they returned with heads bowed low and shoulders weary, and in their own time, they would come to him, let him look after them if only for a moment.

They were his wolves and he would die before letting anything happen to them.

[lost-in-the-spectrum]

How did I get my diagnosis for the Asperger-Synrome?

Hello Folks,

I hope you are doing well and hopefully this post will help some people out there with… whatever they need help in.

Today I’d like to tell you the story of how I actually got to my Asperger diagnosis: How did I know that there could be smth like that? How was the assessment? This post could help some people with getting prepared for an assessment like that, it could also help with even figuring out how to get to an assessment like that tho. All things which I am describing and writing in that post is only about me. These are experiences which I made and that doesn’t mean that you’re about to make the same experiences at all. Never mind if bad or good experiences ... don’t let this story unsettle you!

So... Everything started with meeting dad’s girlfriend for the first time. It was after a long search for a place to stay at. I was forced to be homeless for, I guess 6 months – luckily not longer – because me and my sister didn’t come along very well and my mother died 2013 which took my only home away from me. I also had a weird relationship to my other relatives which is the reason why I absolutely couldn’t imagine to live with them. And in addition, I couldn’t expect from the few friends I had that time that they take me to their homes and try to, you know... support me with food and all that stuff. They all had their own problems and at the same time they all haven’t had money either, especially not for a second person to feed.

So I had no other choice. My dad picked me up at my sister’s house and we both drove all the long way to Berlin, where he lived with his girlfriend. The story between us three is very difficult and private. Let’s say it at this way: Living with my mum became kinda impossible for my dad which is why he has chosen an other woman he could imagine to live with. Yes, I know, first I was furious about that decision too but after talking with my dad I could understand his point. Just to make that point clear that there is no reason to dislike him for the choices he had to make, also for himself. Anyway his girlfriend was a hard thing for me. I didn’t want to have an other woman except my mum by dad’s side and in general I was always scared of meeting her because I have never met her in my life before... and she has been in dad’s life since I was about five years old. So when we arrived at their apartment and ringed she opened the door for us. First of all: She didn’t look like I have imagined. I saw few photos of her somewhere as a kid – and thought she’d be only a good friend of dad... I was naive – and on these photos, I think, she looked a bit different. I was a little surprised, she too. But not because she didn’t know that I am coming – she did know – later she told me that she was stunned by my beauty and she was honest and serious about that thought she had. She also told me that she was scared too to meet me for the first time. She actually expected me to hate her by first sight because she knows what kind of role she’s playing in my life. I was nervous of meeting her for the first time but I’d never have been mean to her, never mind what kind of role or position she is having in my life.

We spent some time together, not only to get to know her better but also because I kinda liked her, at least for the first moments we had together. We talked a lot and went up to the bakery to bring some bread for the morning. We have done that together for many times so that I could see where to go and one morning she told me to bring the bread. So I did, I mean, we have walked that way for three times! I should know where the place is. Well, I didn't.

I walked the way I remembered but suddenly the streets and surrounding looked a little different to me. Or no, they didn't. It was the same as before but I couldn't find the way we both walked together. My “inner navigation” was so bad all of sudden, I didn't even know that it apparently was. So I went to the wrong bakery where the bread we always used to buy was a little more expensive. I was so overdone with that that I didn't care. I bought 5 breads for us, two for dad, two for her and only one for me. We all used to have two breads for the morning but I couldn't afford the second one for me. When I came back I told her my issue and explained that I didn't know where to go so I bought the bread in that bakery where I was. I was disappointed and upset and I didn't hide it. I never really do. She was understanding or at least not angry at all, she just said that we can go the way again or she tries to explain me the way. In the next times I found the right bakery but I seriously needed a self drawn map to find it … even though we have been walking there for three times.

Then one evening, she made some dinner- stuffed paprika with beef and rice and a really nice tomato sauce – and we started talking again about the issue I had. She started telling me that she thinks I could have a kind of disorder which I should already have had since the age of at least five.* She asked me then: 'Have you ever heard of the Asperger-Syndrome?” I of course said that I've never heard about that and asked what it is supposed to be. 'It is Autism or at least one of the many sorts of in the spectrum.' First I thought she's kidding me and in fact annoyed that I have got so many issues with things so that she called me like that or seriously thinks I should be autistic because I seem to be unable to do things. I thought she was offending me because all I knew about these people to that time is that they have a special or even strange behaviour. Also I mixed all these people up and have put them in one box because that is all I heard about them. I didn't know better. Then before I could ask if she's serious she already started telling me why she thinks like that: The way I talk, the fact that I never or barely looked in her eyes while we talked, the fact that I had that issue with finding the way which is actually a simple one – yes, it was... - and my talent and passion for drawing comics and illustrations in a really little time and almost totally perfectly. In addition the things my dad told her, how I was as a little kid and that I had problems to find the one or other friend at school as I never wanted to play with other kids in the kindergarten... she told me that all these things are very familiar to her. She is French-, English-, and German teacher and at the same time she worked half time in the school psychology to test children if they are gifted or having special problems with certain exercises and subjects. She has met many children there and some of them where autistic and behaved almost exactly like me. She also told me what's typical for that syndrome and the more she told me the more I recognized myself in her description. I was surprised and confused, nobody has ever told me about that before, no one ever mentioned that I could have it. I was only the antisocial, bad behaving kid – fun fact: bad behaving because I didn't always say thank you to someone – and many people didn't like me for that. She told me that we could make an online testing first before we start to maybe contact someone who's an expert in it. I agreed, what could go wrong? And I really wanted to know.

So, we made the online test which includes some general questions about my behaviour and “attitude” and the result told us: there is a high possibility for me to have the Asperger-Syndrome. It wasn't to 100% sure that I have it but it was a reason to contact that one person who's an expert in it and who could tell if I have. So dad's girlfriend contacted him and made an appointment. Unfortunately I was meant to wait over a year to get an appointment there and to finally figure out what's wrong with me. We didn't want to wait so we paid... and then we had an appointment just one week later.

We drove to Potsdam near Berlin where the person lived. We met him at his house – yes, where he lived and had his private life – and introduced ourselves, told him that we made this appointment with him because we think I could have the Asperger-Syndrome. And then he started to test me in different tasks. First of all I had to answer some several questions on a piece of paper. How do I feel in certain situations, what are my interests and hobbies, in which things I am absolutely not interested in even though these things are normally interesting to people at my age. I also had to watch pictures of human eyes to tell if these are happy, sad, angry or else. Then he asked my father about my childhood and if there was any special behaviour those days. Dad told what the matter was: I haven't had many friends, spent a lot of time alone in my room drawing comics for almost 2 hours because without that I got nervous and also aggressive. I needed this to feel comfortable. I had a strong imagination and fantasy, could create adventurous stories in a short time and when I was little – about 5 years old – I walked around with a little piece of paper or a small straw of wheat and talked to it or had conversations with it. Sometimes I even created conversations between two personalities, some kind of role play and all in my mind. People kept saying that this isn't a point because little kids mostly have a huge imagination in playing but the way I imagined was special and maybe a little odd. He also mentioned that on some days at my age 'now' – so eighteen those days – I've been sitting at the computer for about three hours – on some days less or even more – playing The Sims 3 creating crazy characters and building crazy houses. The way my dad told him seemed worried and I had such a feeling that my dad tried to convince that man to tell me that this isn't normal and I should stop that. But the man didn't say anything about it. He just wrote it down for the results if I've got the syndrome or not. The  assessment was made of talking and answering to questions on a paper including some “riddles” I had to solute. And at the end of it – after six hours including a little break in between – the man told us that he'll check my answers out. He wasn't sure if I really got it but he could tell that he thinks I may got an attention disorder which prevents me to be focused all the time and which makes me easy to get distracted. And so we left the place and got prepared to wait for the results... until today.

Yes, you read correctly: I haven't got the results by that man until today and the appointment at his place was already about six years ago. Getting a diagnosis never lasts that long so we've tried to contact this man for many times. Not only my dad and his girlfriend but also doctors and psychologists later. Never got an answer and never got the diagnosis if there even was one.

Before this the relationship between me and dad's girlfriend got worse and dad and her began to argue really often. I didn't know if this happened more often than I realized and if they already argued before I came around but I felt kinda uneasy and even a little guilty for that. I also have an insecure personality disorder which makes me often and easily think to be guilty in many things even though it's not the truth. The arguing lasted pretty long and I realized it was probably because of me just like I thought. One time I passed their bed room and just by accident I listened and heard what she said about me. She said since I've been there they argue really often and that I might be the reason for it. I felt very bad for it and that situation got worse.

Later my dad apparently decided to leave with me. He planned to live at his brother's place with me as long as we try to figure out what to do next. The late afternoon before we left, dad's girlfriend sat at the table in the kitchen and she was sad, crying of course. I joined her and before I could ask what the matter is – I mean I knew it but yet I wanted to ask – she just looked into my eyes, furious, sad, disappointed, that's what I could tell because there wasn't anything to misunderstand in that look... she told me again, that dad is gonna leave her for me and I just replied that I am sorry for that, feeling guilty and that I never meant to make that happen.

She just said: 'Well I can't take that feeling of guilt away from you. And I don't want to. If I have to suffer, you should suffer too.'

Those words were very hard. They hurt me and made me feel like a huge mistake. I started thinking many thinks because... I wasn't just depressive. I was suicidal. And that feeling got stronger after hearing this. My dad gave me my suitcase and took his own one. We went downstairs and put them into the car. Then we left.

Some time ago I got a kind of 'legal guardian ', a very nice woman who took care of formal things and who also took a look on my money on my bank account. Her job was it to support me with all these things in life. My dad told her about the disaster we were in and that it's an emergency. So the woman did her best and found a place for me to stay at: A 'social psychological' commune for young people with depressions and other conditions – like me. This commune was in Kiel. My dad and I drove to that place for an introducing meeting to get to know the commune. It was a very nice place, the house was kind of 'JugendStil', so pretty vintage but also modern in either way. The educators there and also the Chef of the commune, a woman at the age of about 35 I guess, were totally nice to me. They noticed the emergency and understood why it was so important to me to finally get help. They met me as a very skinny, depressive person who was tired of life and being. I moved there and had finally the chance to be able to build up an own life.

Living in this commune I also found a psychologist there where I mentioned my Asperger-Syndrome which people think I could have. She started to contact the man in Potsdam too, even twice, as did my 'legal guardian '. No success, no answer, neither to the phone nor to the mail address. But it was certain that we need this diagnosis to maybe find the right therapy for me. So my psychologist contacted an other woman who is also making  assessments   like that. She came around one day and met me, started the assessment. But this  assessment was different. This time my dad wasn't there to tell how I was a child. I repeated the things he told the man in Potsdam and answered to some questions the woman asked me. About my attitude, behaviour and so on. Actually the same but without testing sheets. At the same time she had a white board next to her and explained me what the Asperger-Syndrome actually is, how differently 'our' brain works in contrast to people without the syndrome. That was pretty interesting and something the man in Potsdam didn't do. I got tested in it and at the same time  I learned what it actually is. I also gave permission to be filmed while she's testing me. I still have the video here and it's so weird to see how I looked those days. Much more different than now.

At the end of it all she told me: 'Well, you indeed got it. There is no doubt.' I was happy but confused at the same time. How is it possible that a person who is known for  assessments  like that wasn't sure about my syndrome but this woman who got the same knowledge has no doubts that I'm having it?

I then finally got my diagnosis that day and to be honest: I had a feeling that my life would turn into a better and more confident one because I finally knew who I am.

So Folks, that's my story how I got the diagnosis. It's a pretty long text but I needed to tell you everything what happened to finally get the explanation of who and what I am. You see, the way to this diagnosis can be very long and complicated. The man hasn't given me my diagnosis yet until today, there for I got it from an other person at the same day where I got tested and it was obviously clear that I have it.

Maybe you're prepared now if you should ever want to get tested and as I've already said: This is only my story. It could be that you'll get an appointment much quicker than me and that you get your diagnosis just some days or weeks later – not like with that man who has never given me this until today – maybe you also get the result on the same day as I got from that woman. Just be sure and think about these things before you try to get an appointment: Do you really need it because you want to know what's wrong with you? Because you need special help which you can only get if you have that diagnosis? Would it help you or others to understand you? Or do you actually have no issues with it so that it doesn't matter? Think about these questions before you go on a probably exhausting journey as me, prepare yourself and listen to what your heart needs. My heart needed an explanation for my personality to realize that it's not because of me people got problems with my personality. It's because of them because they have never taken the time to figure out what kind of person I am.

Just saying: There are many people who love the way I am. I seem to be a cool person, not as crap as some idiots tried to make me think.

Have a good day, friends! See you later!

[otomequeen]

Get To Know The Game: Bad Boys Do It Better

Released: July 8, 2016 Company: Otome Romance (Voltage Inc) Opening: YouTube Download: Apple Store - Google Play - Amazon Store

Overview

So the plot is rather simple and easy to follow. Your family moves away but you stay behind. You move into a dorm, which surprise, is full of all boys. Who happen to all be your class, in another surprise, an all boys school. You are now the only girl in an all boy school. That’s basically it. You are adjusting being in a new school, living in a dorm, being separated from your family, and all that good stuff.

Note: I have previously made a post about this. It has since been deleted. This is an updated version of that post.

Aesthetics

I would say bold. There is only a few games that got released before this title that I would consider bold and vibrant. These colors are bright, and neon. The textures are amazing. And that’s just with the chapter cards, the characters are equally as bold and vibrant. Multi color hair, tattoos, piercings. It definitely stands out compared to previous entries.

Operating System

Now I was really happy with what Voltage (Otome Romance) did with this game. The first thing I want to touch upon is the special choice system. Instead of giving you three options to pick from, a heart will spin on your screen and you can either ‘go for it’ or ‘pull back.’ And as of right now, as far as I’m aware, this is the only title to get this feature from them. And I don’t know if that’s because it didn’t sit well with fans or what. But I loved this change of pace. It not only gives me an option that can sway my love meter, but I don’t know what’s going to be said. Sometimes after you play games for a while you kinda know what they are going to say in response to your choices. But if I don’t know what I’m going to say, I have no idea what is going to happen next. I can have a vague idea, but it’s a refreshing surprising that I felt I needed. 

Now I will say that since this title got moved to Love 365 instead of being a stand alone app this function is still within the game. But the heart no longer has English text. Maybe it’s just a glitch, or on certain routes/chapters. I haven’t fully completed everything to test that out. I’m super happy they kept it, but if you were going for a certain choice it makes it a little harder unless you read Japanese. 

The second thing I wanted to talk about was the text box. While it’s fairly standard just to have a square box at the bottom of the screen, usually in a pastel color that goes with the theme of the game that you can change the opacity of. Bad boys keeping with this bold aesthetic made it feel like I was reading a manga or comic book. There is a small extension from the box that points in the direction of the person who is talking. If there is more than one sprite on screen, the extension moves accordingly. 

And much do my dismay, this function didn’t translate with the merge to love 365. I can understand that they can’t have a mega app with small variances between all the titles and still have space to add more things. But it took a small part of the game away. It added to the experience and now instead of being it’s own entity, it’s slowly becoming just another title.

Endings

So this title has a love meter system. Which isn’t new to this game, nor is the idea of leading to two different types of endings that isn’t labeled good and happy. But I like how they labeled it for this game. I didn’t know what I was expecting initially, but I liked them. 

Additional Thoughts

So I thought that the plot was meh and the mc was also meh. Nothing really stands out about this plot line. You see it all the time in animes, and I get that its hard to make it different to stand out. But the more I played the game I started to think they choose this kind of plot to tinker with the OS and try new things rather than putting out a game with a lot of content. Because as of right now the game has a main story and epilogue for 6 characters, and then 5 or 6 sub stories. That’s it. And it’s not like they have a screen that says ‘sequel coming soon’ it straight up ends after the epilogue. Which I appreciate, I don’t know how you could keep this kind of plot going for more stories without it being super predictable. So for this kind of plot the mc fits perfectly. High school student that doesn’t really know love. All the typical mc behaviors that annoy a lot of people in different games. 

I am kind of sad they never made another character datable. I did a previous review of this game where I mentioned two characters you can’t date. But since then they have released one of those characters. So now I’m just waiting for the other one to get their own route. I think there could be a lot of fun things that can happen. I get the vibe it could be like Joh from Dreamy Days in West Tokyo kind of situation. But still. I want it.

Takeaway

I feel like this is a decent game. I’m glad that I purchased routes in it. It’s very cute. I don’t know if I will say people should play this as their first game. Since it’s very bland I guess. But I think it’s a game to purchase to play when you are waiting for another game, or taking a break. It’s a good way to pass the time. Not in the sense of ‘am I eating because I’m board?’ But between the OS, which I think is my favorite of all the games, and pretty graphics it’s a good change of pace. 

You also don’t have to worry about spending too much money on the game, since there isn’t a lot of content to buy. And there are no plans for future released, so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s a one and done kind of deal. You can fully own 100% of this game without breaking the bank.