#I keep thinking Im done with the analysis and then I find something new that hard confirms everything aaaaaahhhh

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

The GazettE symbolism analysis - part 3 - black, red and 13 stairs

DAWN lyrics translation:

I sing, digging up [memories of] my past I’d loved so completely From within the depths of the void Time stood still while the distorted dark clouds swirled all around I was bound up in innumerable shackles And I want to lose myself in the reality reflected in the chaos around me I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune The ruined gallows towers above me Overcast sky, Counting song, the sound of approaching footsteps Wild party with emotions running high A merry-go-round of deepest red unfurled That day was the beginning of it all 13 stairs foretell the metamorphosis

Moving past my momentary confusion, these roiling emotions rise up Hung up high on that 13th stair The beautiful answer redefined becomes the new dogma I was bound up in innumerable shackles And I want to lose myself in the reality reflected in the chaos around me I’ve already had a lethal dose of misfortune The ruined gallows towers above me Overcast sky, Counting song, the sound of approaching footsteps Wild party with emotions running high A merry-go-round of deepest red unfurled Accompanied by the end of  peace I lay my hands on the blackened altar Wild party with emotions running high A merry-go-round of deepest red unfurled That day was the beginning of it all 13 stairs foretell the metamorphosis An evil spell my life

So I was watching DOGMA preview vid and DAWN featured the Scarlet woman from the 13th anniversary teaser. That's why I got interested in the lyrics. The one frame where she is going up the stairs is the most significant and sums up the whole song. (The text is the song lyrics but translated with google lens).

Now this is 13 STAIRS[-]1 performed in Venomous Cell finale (2012). It left a massive impression on me because Ruki used this 7 pointed star (Star of Babalon) background. I couldn't figure out the exact connection from her to the song at the time, but I see it now. 13 stairs have been his symbol for the whole thing all along. Also from Venomous Cell:

The hexagram has been a recurring symbol throughout DOGMA and the Mother of God statue is very reminiscent of the NINTH cover, except NINTH cover is red + green specifically. Scarlet red is the colour of Babalon (I talked more about it in the 1st part of the analysis) and emerald green is associated with Daleth and Venusian sephirah Netzach.

The Reita pick saying CATALYST is very interesting. A catalyst is something that initiates or accelerates an (al)chemical reaction or transformation. His is the only 1 in full NINTH colors. Uruha with white/red, Aoi with black/green - the yin yang guitars + goddess colors.

Seeing these picks made me think the 3 songs composed by Uruha (99.999, The Mortal, Babylon's Taboo) are the 3 Red goddess songs. (Fun fact: I was googling Netzach for the preceding paragraph and came across this sentence "The sephirah of Netzach stands firm forever and never regrets. Netzach is not a mortal who fears death and would feel regret in the face of death" and I was like... That's.. a song title.. The song meaning seems to be about the Red goddess slipping away especially if you look at how it was performed in NINTH final)

(the hand is so reminiscent of Babylon's taboo, except then she actually goes into the heart - link to my post about this)

DAWN - 20th anniversary:

Babylon's taboo - 20th anniversary:

13STAIRS[-]1 - Mass Final:

NOX - Mass Final:

Ninth Odd Smell - Mass Final:

NINTH ODD SMELL lyrics translation:

First　「disorder」　is an ignorant blade Heresy raising its middle finger in rebellion Reverberation running rampant heading towards the ninth stair of desire Second    「nil」     the future that tore through the darkness Nameless lights The grim precursor soon becomes Stacked up, wriggling Rubbish Draped in crimson despair crawling from the murky depths A tower of fear and doubt looks down upon the world Poison gripping your voice as the days jumble around you Your heart painfully being sliced to shreds Exhilarating in the feeling of destruction Filled with strange distortions You fight your way to the 13th stair So embrace the black black black darkness [Die] We fucking never die This soul can never die We fucking never die Can’t never die

The beginning of NINTH ODD SMELL is referencing all the previous albums. And the overall meaning of the song sums up the message of all their music.

This is from Stacked Rubbish finale [RCE] 2008:

The Scorpio which they used as a backdrop is a symbol of death and transformation, in astrology it rules the 8th house. 8 was on the cover of that DVD. Ruki doing the Jesus Christ pose has been a constant for years, and that crucified Jesus was shown on the screen for a really long time.

But let's go back to MASS:

These 2 pages from MASS limited edition are quoting NOX. NOX lyrics translation: Sorrowful enough to kill The unquenchable flame burns up Thoughts that cannot be put into words Hold you the answer A color that cannot be yielded Spit out your choking heartbeat Peel off your bloodshot eyeballs I will not hesitate anymore

And these pages have all the members on the red page while their shadows are on the black one. Except for Aoi, the Yin guitar, but his red page is Red circling back to Black. So from black to red and back to black again. Unlike everyone else's who's just simply black to red. And the lyrics book has the negative image of the cover art. They did a similar thing with Dogmatic final poster being white and then the DVD booklet having the negative version of that.

This is the Yin triangle from To Dazzling Darkness live:

When I 1st saw that Yin triangle I knew that they know the Goddess like I know her. That's what made me start looking deeply at what else they are doing with symbolism.

To Dazzling Darkness lyrics translation:

The colors bleed from the landscape You hope you’ll wake from this dream The light Vanishes completely before your eyes Let’s have these hearts Now join together as one

The Sacred Heart represents the long-suffering love and compassion of the heart of Christ towards humanity. (This symbol comes from mystics and not the bible)

They played all 3 - DAWN, NINTH ODD SMELL and 13STAIRS[-]1 at MASS final and they were pretty much the only non MASS songs:

DIE is always shown on screen in red and black when NINTH ODD SMELL is played. It's important to remember it's meant like the symbol of the Death tarot card (associated with Scorpio and number 13) - meaning strong emotions, transformation, major change.

Link to my 13STAIRS[-]1 post Link to my Project: Dark Age post

13th anniversary poster vs MASS final. Both at Nippon Budokan:

Part 1 of the analysis Part 2

[vasito-de-leche]

so three things,one I love your hc/analysis on forget me not its *chefs kiss*and nice to see more content on him!! two I do have a request ! I am curious about your hcs for how forget me not would like actually navigate a relationship?

sorry if this is lengthy or if my request is a lot im a lil new to all this !!

;RE1999 FORGET ME NOT - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Forget Me Not in a romantic relationship.

not lengthy at all, ty for the ask anon! <3 super glad you liked my FMN post too!!

you asked about how I think he'd ACTUALLY navigate a relationship, so I went a little deranged thinking about it cause the guy is FASCINATING to analyze. sorry if you were expecting something else! like, something more romantic? if you just want romance stuff, deffo feel free to leave another ask being more specific!

Right off the bat, Forget Me Not strikes me as a type of person who has a lot of trouble keeping any sort of solid relationships due to his poor interpersonal skills.

Similar to Pavia, he exists outside of conventional society - but unlike Pavia, Forget Me Not has taught himself how to imitate others and mask as a sound, hinged and regular individual. He can charm his way in and out of any conversation, change the tide to his favour and play any role necessary for his goals - but it's all play pretend in the end, because he wholeheartedly believes that none of it is meant to last. Every relationship and connection he makes is done with one purpose in mind: to further his goals.

When someone approaches Forget Me Not intending to seduce or romance him, he plays the role of a perfect gentleman. Or whatever is convenient at the moment, really. His keen eye allows him to quickly discern little details, until he fully figures out your type just so he can adapt accordingly. This is a fantasy that wears off overtime - once you overstay your welcome and outlive your usefulness.

And because Forget Me Not is too much of a coward to risk his reputation and hard work by being the one to break your heart, he manipulates the situation to come out of this relationship scot-free. If you can't find any reason to leave him on your own, don't worry, he'll make sure there's something.

But when it comes to him being interested in someone and navigating a romantic relationship...

When Forget Me Not falls for someone, he falls hard and fast.

I want to insist on the lack of interpersonal skills - Forget Me Not has gone years denying himself of something as simple as a friend, someone to confide in. His whole existence revolves around revenge. To him, there's no space for romance in his life, he has no time for something so "juvenile". He can't fathom the idea of being attracted to anyone. The muscle in his rib cage isn't capable of love, it's just there to keep him alive until the world is rid of humans.

And yet, as blind and oblivious as he may be to his own feelings, Forget Me Not falls hard and fast entirely because of how desperate for connection he is. Attraction is something that paralyzes him and affection is a parasite that worms its way into his heart.

When Forget Me Not falls for someone, he becomes impulsive and reckless, not a lot but just enough to be noticeable by those who see him regularly - there is this slightly intense and unhinged feeling to his words, as opposed to the suave and smooth talk he casually dishes out, like he's itching to unravel and show his true nature right there and then. It's something that you still pick up on, long after that conversation has ended, something that you must've heard incorrectly because it's a little out of character, coming from him.

This is because he has no fucking idea on how to deal with it, because he doesn't even know something is happening to him.

No matter what he does during this state, he finds a way to justify all of his actions because denial is his first and foremost coping mechanism. If he finds himself staring at you from across the room, it's because he's making sure you're behaving. To ensure you're not a spy or cause any trouble to other patrons! If he remembers your favorite drink, it's because he needs to get enough points to be on your good side. After all, you probably have a lot of information he could use. If his hand lingers on yours, it's because he was distracted. Etc, etc.

If it goes on for long enough without any sort of confrontation, it'll start to eat him from the inside. Forget Me Not will think that you're using some arcane skill on him to make him act this way before he acknowledges he has a crush on you. Suddenly, there's a whole new thing occupying his brain - whenever he's not dissociating at home, he's thinking about you and that's dangerous.

Surprises are the way to his heart.

It's very hard to catch his eye, since he doesn't care for appearance nor status - he just doesn't care, period. Again, love isn't an option for someone like him. But the one thing that will absolutely rock his world is being caught off-guard.

Forget Me Not is a great actor, he plays his roles in conversations perfectly, he studies the way people talk to each other, the way one must gesture and move, the appropriate amount of eye contact one should make. He micromanages every single aspect of conversations because diplomacy is his forte, it's something he needs to excel at. Long story short, he knows how each and every conversation should go for him to get his way.

Which is why hearing someone laugh when they shouldn't, a genuine snicker or a chuckle, is enough to give him pause. He's intrigued and lost, because people aren't supposed to behave like that. Not the type of people he's used to, anyway. Condescending laughter is to be expected, everyone is pretending to have fun, but a real laugh? Without any hidden meanings or implications? The audacity to go off-script, regardless of how that might affect you? That's what will inevitably put you right in his sights.

These surprises must start out small, however. Forget Me Not is a very jaded and vindictive person with a very fragile ego and stubborn mind - someone who openly goes against everything he stands for, regardless of whether they're right or not, will end up on his black list. As seen with his reaction to Druvis III choosing to move on from her grief, Forget Me Not doesn't do well with his beliefs being torn to shreds so suddenly.

This mentality about everyone being inherently rotten and bound by so many unspoken rules of conduct and whatnot needs to be challenged little by little. Because at the end of the day, Forget Me Not projects his own baggage onto the world, and he must ease himself into the idea that people (and himself) can have actual depth and be more than just a means to an end.

And sure, he has an obsessive personality - some of his behaviour stems from the need to figure out "the catch", like he's constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to you, just so he can go "I knew it!" at the end. Forget Me Not, under all that aloof and detached confidence, is nothing but a wounded animal. Gaining his trust or approval is harder than it is losing it.

On the subject of falling for anyone who isn't a pure blooded arcanist.

There is the possibility that Forget Me Not may fall for a human or mixed - two groups that he, alongside Manus Vindictae, holds with extreme contempt and hatred. Right away, it goes against everything he stands for and, as stated before, he doesn't do well with his beliefs being challenged so abruptly.

Whereas Manus Vindictae is an organization that has no problem being so openly hypocritical in their practices (loathing humans, yet offering them salvation just so that they can be used as pawns), Forget Me Not is an individual who lives mostly within his own head, in a constant state of denial and delusion. The idea of falling in love is already ridiculous to him, I literally just spent so many paragraphs talking about how he needs to ease into the idea of forming any sort of meaningful connection, even if it's something he does yearn for and something that he does so horribly. So imagine the absolute fucking whiplash of falling in love with the representation of everything he despises.

Forget Me Not navigating relationships is already difficult enough, but him trying to navigate a relationship with a human or mixed - especially one that is vocal about his affiliation with Manus and his own opinions - is even harder.

But not necessarily impossible.

However, it would lean towards a godawful and unhealthy dynamic, in which he'll begin to blur the lines between affection and aggression. Think of an ourobos, a permanent loop of Forget Me Not being unable to let go while also pushing you away.

He scrambles to find any "rational" excuse to justify his attraction for you. If you're docile and compliant, he'll insist that you're "different" and "not like other humans" just to remain righteous and true to his beliefs by separating you from your roots. And if you're not afraid to call him out and argue with him, he'll feel validated in his beliefs and latch onto you like a parasite because "you need to be reminded of your place". It's unrealistic to think that Forget Me Not can change his mind and become a better person right away, he would need years to heal from his own baggage and biases, then even more time to undo all the things he's absorbed from Manus Vindictae.

But I know these types of dark relationships aren't everyone's cup of tea, so I won't go into detail about it! Other interpretations in which he manages to get rid of all the toxic sludge that is his emotional baggage and questionable morals are just as valid!

The way Forget Me Not acts when he's in an actual relationship.

Every relationship Forget Me Not has had so far has been for the sake of The Walden and/or Manus Vindictae, and he's always made sure to keep them at arms length anyway - so this would be the very first "proper" and official relationship.

And it's a mess. He reeks of insecurity.

Taking into account everything I've said just far, Forget Me Not could easily put all of that knowledge and masking into treating his partner like the gentleman he pretends to be daily. He could just do that! But it stops coming naturally to him the second he's in your presence. Because the thing that attracted him to you in the first place is all those details that set you apart from his "norm", Forget Me Not is stuck in this area of not knowing whether you'd prefer the person he pretends to be or something else, something he might not be able to provide. Note how it's "something else" and not just himself.

The idea of Forget Me Not as a person falls apart when inspected closely, and so he's left insecure and vulnerable. He latches onto you easily, in private and in public, shifting his focus to revolve around you instead - the brand, new and shiny light in his life - but lacks confidence when it comes to keeping you by his side without any sort of manipulation.

He tries, God, he tries so hard. But I can absolutely see him pull all sorts of moves on impulse. From really childish and petty things (insisting on being the only one to serve you drinks, subtly influencing the seats, so that you always sit somewhere he can see or without any of the other patrons bothering you) to genuinely insidious things (lying both to your face and behind your back to drive the people he considers "undeserving of your attention" away, keep you in the dark about certain topics).

It's a lot of back and forth, establishing boundaries and showing him the lines that shouldn't be crossed so that all these actions don't become the norm. To be in a relationship with him, you'll need a lot of patience to guide him or the backbone to set your foot down when needed. I'd say at this point, he'd definitely respond better to being challenged - you're his partner, after all, he holds you way above everyone else in the room, way above himself as well.

But once he's fully eased into the relationship? When he now knows you like the back of his hand? And you've shown that you're willing to stay, even with all of his faults? He becomes so very clingy, but also much more tired in your eyes.

Forget Me Not's antics - his possessiveness, slightly obsessive behaviour, etc - are replaced instead by this lingering feeling of sadness. Instead of kissing your hand in public to make a statement for the world, he holds your hand in private as if his life depended on it, because he now fully believes the relationship to be too good to last. It's like he's preparing to say goodbye before fully enjoying the present with you. Like you leaving him is not a possibility but the end of the road. Coincidentally, it's this "doomer" mentality what pushes Forget Me Not to be more confident when it comes to being vulnerable around you.

I like to think that Forget Me Not is extremely eloquent when needed, but he's physically incapable of talking about his trauma or any other unpleasant experiences in his life - it's directly a result of all this constant repression. So he wouldn't tell you about it, but he would still hope that you can understand him without the need for words. I just see him as a physical person once comfortable!

[spnfanficpond]

New Member Spotlight - April 2024

The Pond is always growing and we want to make our new members feel welcome! Here’s a list of recent additions to our fishy family, along with a little info about them!

Guppies, Jellies, and Mutuals, oh, my!

@elf-punk -

Other SM names? - Discord: crumblemoon, AO3: queen_karnilla

OTP? - Destiel all the way

Other fandoms? - Doctor who, Dune, Harry Potter, Marvel (Loki specifically), Sandman

Looking for in the Pond? - Mainly to meet and hang out with other SPN fans, and share/read fanfic and headcanons! Nothing super specific.

Pairings you read? - Reader inserts/OC mainly involving spn angels (michael and cas are my favourites!)

Genres you read? - Romance, friends/enemies to lovers, angst with a resolution, all things fluffy! Will read smut as part of a longer romantic narrative, but not for the sake of it.

What do you like to write? - Reader-inserts/OC, introspectives and character studies

Masterlist!

@jinkieswouldyoulookatthis -

Other SM names? - Discord: jackiefour, AO3: jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

OTP? - Wincest (Sam/Dean)

Looking for in the Pond? - Just looking to strengthen ties with the general fandom community and it's always nice to have other writers/readers to talk with.

Pairings you read? - SamDean in all its variations, either of the brothers/reader together or separate is good too.

Genres you read? - Angst, smut, crackfics are my preferred, although some fluff is nice and appreciated too. The trope doesn't matter as much to me as the overall quality of the writing.

Favorite writer(s)? - Gah, too many amazing writers to narrow it down to a favorite, but @applecrumbledore, @dyed-red, leonidaslion, candle_beck, deadlybride immediately spring to mind.

What do you like to write? - Currently been writing wincest (SamDean) but I used to write reader inserts for both of the boys.

Masterlist!

Most underappreciated fic? - Probably this one because it's a body swap/gender bend with low key non-con elements to it (so I get why it doesn't get as much love as some of the others): Make A Wish

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? -I am currently working on my first long fic, just getting going on it and am a little intimidated by the scope, but I don't deal with deadlines or anything like that well, so I'm hoping that just being around other people writing and talking about writing will help keep me motivated to finish it. Basically, I'm just looking for passive motivation and community.

@i-already-know-im-going-2-hell / @aceing-on-the-cake -

Other SM names? - AO3: i_already_know_im_going_to_hell

OTP? - Honestly I think Wincestiel can't be beat when it's done well, best of both worlds

Other fandoms? - I enjoy a lot of fandoms but to be honest I'm really only making content (writing and drawing) for supernatural.

Looking for in the Pond? - Honestly I'm just looking to hang around, meet fellow writers and artists, and pick up tips and tricks along the way. I find I'm motivated so much more when I have others around me who are just as into the things I'm into.

Something to signal boost? - Honestly the only thing I'm currently working on bigger project wise is a supernatural au I'm doing a lot of drawings for. This is the original post --Guineanatural-- and it has all the links in it towards currently running polls or completed artworks.

Pairings you read? - I'm a multishipper, I will read almost any pairing that's not parent/child honestly.

Genres you read? - Angst and Hurt/Comfort are my jam. Smut, fluff and crack are great if they're included, but I'm truly there for pain of angst and then the comfort that comes after.

Favorite writer(s)? - @applecrumbledore on AO3, is the author of one of my all-time favorite Dean/Sam fics I've ever read, Acid

What do you like to write? - Angst/Comfort with a whole lot of character analysis thrown in

Something you haven't written but would like to try? Why not? How can we help? - Unfortunately, my bane in life is to house more fic ideas in my head than I actually ever have a reasonable amount of time to write and to have crippling adhd caused executive dysfunction, which can truly only be fixed by Earth changing to a day cycle longer than 24 hours and absolutely using body doubles in any form I can take those. The first problem truly can't be fixed by mortal men unfortunately, but for the second honestly me just hanging around with other writers or seeing other writers work on things too helps to work as a body double for my brain a lot of the time. So honestly, just hanging in the server itself and following the tumblr should be plenty of help.

That's all for this month, folks! (If we're missing anyone, let us know and we'll add them to next month's list!) Make sure to say hi to the newbies and make them feel welcome! Thanks to all from @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[exitwound]

hi zoe i love ur blog and opinions. u always have just amazing analysis and like. general ideas that just are mindblowing. and i was wondering if you're often inspired by art and stuff around you that helps you come to your thoughts? asking because honestly i always feel like im stealing and plagiarizing other people's ideas and thoughts when im inspired by someone's work to create my own - like my tone or style is too similar, or my words are practically the same. and it feels awful because im like is this even inspired or am i literally just stealing? it feels like i can't ever create work with my own thoughts and idk what to do with that. sorry i know that was like a ton of info feel free to ignore

wow omg thank you. this is crazy to hear because i would personally say that the last time i had an idea it was about dean winchester. but for sure those ideas would really really have not had been posts if i didn’t see other ideas and stretch them to a new location on the media body. but thank you.Ummm i would say that it’s difficult to tell when i have a thought where it came from except when it’s not and know exactly where it came from. but definitely i don’t live in a vacuum and i am always always always always always very inspired by everything and by art and art and art and art and other peoples analyses and ideas about art and and and and and. and honestly i think that originality of ideas is a little bit nothing i think that the meaning is mostly in the expression of the idea bc like most art is a pretty simple idea but it’s done welll it commits to the idea and it trusts you to be blown away. slightly unrelatedly I think there is enormous value in intentionally attempting forgeries of others work although of course for this you wouldn’t pass it off as your own. Back to being related i think generally it’s more difficult to actually plagiarize on accident than you might fear. sometimes i worry im writing something i just forgot i read but there was kind of nothing i could do about that worry so i decided to move on and anyway if i forgot i read it then i definitely forgot the context so im already doing something new with it. i find that when i consume a lot of one type of writing for example like if im doing an english paper i sometimes slip into writing in the same style of the book im doing a paper on without realizing. Maybe a solution to feeling stuck in copying a style is to just get it out of you like new document and purge it just keep copying until you’ve run out of recombinations based on this source material and then you begin to scratch at the surface of the thing you were submerged in and break into the new yourself that swallowed a source like a spider and uses its thread to make a new web but it’s not your thread but it’s your web. I think that tends to happen to me in a way when I have an obsession on an idea i first encountered expressed in art and then began trying to re-express it myself. Which is super normal and most art is the re-expression of other expressions for sure. i don’t know i guess i used to be very terrified of plagiariaztipn in my poetry and then i started reading poems and i would find lines in things i had never read before that were very similar to things i had written already and i started realize you will be copying something whether youve seen it already or not so thats that and not really because of this and more because of fractals but definitely relevant to this is i started to make a belief system that the wider your lens the more infinitely small the number of things and all you can do is try to say something that in all of history has never been uttered but means something that everyone who ever lived has felt you know. i hope this helps definitely most of my thoughts are not my own but once i think them they’re mine and immediately being recontextualized with the other thoughts and the new environment if that makes sense… it comes from where it comes from . sorry if this isn’t helpful but i hope it is much love sending reassurance and confidence xxxx🪰🫙🥣🔌📡🪆🪣

[my-lunaberg]

Okay, this confrontation/chase has been going on for too long, Im not sure if Im capable of actual analysis rn so Im just jotting all my thoughts so far down bullet point style

I find it very telling that Dream just got out of prison, where he was almost completely isolated and rarely visited and starved and also actively tortured for about half of his almost year-long time there, and instead of going to his base or finding shelter or resting or anything like that, he seemingly went straight to Logstedshire after getting the gear from Punz. Idk if hes there bc he suspected that Tommy would try and get the axe of peace or bc he wanted to remisce but either way, very interesting

Im too lazy to dig up my old posts where I try to predict the effects that the prison will have on Dreams psyche and I dont really remember what I even said, but I do know that I said the prison would make him a lot more unhinged so I'll take that as a win for me

That being said, Im not entirely satisfied with the way Dream is acting so unaffected by like, the physical torture especially. Yeah sure, it does seem like being trapped in jail for a while was part of Dreams game plan all along somehow, but I dont think Quackitys torture was, judging by how surprised he seemed when he showed up. And even if it was, while I do think of Dream as a pretty deluded character, no amount of delusion is gonna make the Literal Fucking Torture hes endured for months on end not feel like Literal Fucking Torture

When the confrontation started my first thought was "oh, his manipulation tactics are a lot sloppier and a lot more obvious, I feel like Tommy wouldnt fall for that even if he didnt already know that Dream was bad news" but then I thought again and I realized that hes talking in a very similar way to when Tommys exile started, where he just kinda says stuff to try and bring him down because hes so confident in his manipulation tactics that he thinks he can just make Tommy forget all about how he compared him to an annoying bug right before he started saying he was his friend. Now, he got progressively more unhinged over the course of the confrontation, so his attempts at manipulation land even worse but still

Basically, I think hes trying to do exactly what he did at the start of exile which is to say, break him down and make him "his" in some weird way, only that with the exile the goal was to get him on his side and become Dreams protegee of sorts, while this time its mostly just to beat him down and break him like a toy

Idk Ive made a lot of analyses of Dream and one the things i keep coming back to is the fact that he wants absolute control over everything everyone and he cannot handle the loss of that control, but deep down he still desires Challenge and Tommy gave him that. His relationship with Tommy is fascinating because its essentially Dream attempting to reconcile those two fundamentally uncompatible parts of his psyche. However, I dont think he wants Challenge anymore. Even if the stay at the prison was planned, it nevertheless showed him what its like to experience loss of control, to truly eperience being challenged and its clear to me that he doesnt want it anymore and that he just wants to break Tommy down until he listens

This is another complaint that sorta ties into Dream being so unaffected by the torture and a suggestion to 'fix' it. I realize that theyre working with Minecraft mechanics and everything so it doesnt matter that much, but Dream should definitely be having issues with food after being starved and only given raw potatoes for that long and I also dont think he should be able to sprint. I feel like they couldve done something really neat and have Dream be like "no Im not hungry" when Punz gives him those baked potatoes and then later when hes chasing Tommy around maybe he starts out sprinting but after a short while hes just kinda jumping around and you realize that hes starving but hes szill not eating and just keeps following Tommy with his pearls and maybe a trident if he has one rn. Idk just something that couldve been cool

I realize that Tommy is obviously there too and I feel like I shouldve written more about him but honestly, I dont have any thoughts abt him rn, maybe I'll have some later down the line. Idk man, I like c!Tommy a lot but hes not really a character that I like to write analysis posts about (i love reading others analyses though!! I think hes interesting, I just dont have a lot of interesting thoughts about him beyond that sry), while c!Dream very much is lol. I see a lot of myself in and thats definitely part of the reason I enjoy him so much and why I symphatize with him so strongly and why analysing him is so fascinating, its kinda cathartic for me. I know a lot of people in the fandom tend to really dehumanize him, both bc he doesnt have his own POV which makes it easier and bc they seemingly just dehumanize any Bad People in fiction, but its honestly a struggle for me to try and do that too, simply because I am human and I know hes human because we have done similar things for similar reasons (only that hes obviously worse bc its fiction and things get exgerated yknow)

Idk thats about it for now, I just spent like two hours writing this when I probably shouldve just kept watching the video lol

[show-us-kaidenshenandoah]

ill eventually make a proper, pretty intro-post

but hello, hi, i am Kaiden-Shenandoah Knapp

also, yes, Kaiden-Shenandoah is my first name. the hyphen is optional, but you still have to type/say the whole thing. no, you may not call me "Kaiden". yes, i am aware it is a mouthful lol

(probably gonna change my surname is "Knapped" in a few years. i wanna distance myself from some shitty family while making the Indigeneity in my surname more apparent. dont be surprised when that happens. im just putting it off bc i got a lot on my plate rn lol)

(also if you knew me as "Kayleen", hi, hello, i no longer go by that childhood nickname. it is retired, wave goodbye, better to have loved and lost and all that)

this is my messily mindless "welcome to my head" blog, we do things very casually here. im making it my new Main (as of 24 March 2024). my professional/art blog is @kaidenshenandoahknapp

but the real point of this post is: i am not a bot lol

and also, stuff is on a queue (until i do a mass-reblog binge but, typically, i am on queue)

everything in my queue is now 2 post per 24 hours (as of: 20 April 2024)

ive been on tumblr before, but since this is a new Main, im just going through my favorite content-creation blogs i know and mass-queueing loads of the op's projects. (if you are one of those said blogs and find this nth new notes a day from me annoying, please let me know; and i will just spam them all to Post Now so i can get out of your hair asap) i'm also just not good at regularly keeping up with creators' new stuff week-by-week, so instead i generally mass-queue because i assume mass-reblogging is a bit more overwhelming, idk, maybe im just overthinking lol

tags guide: (mostly for me, ngl lol i need reminders of what i tag what when i do my mass-queues)

#me - me posting something

#relatable - "omg that is so me" at someone else's post

#aesthetic - me just really liking the vibes, which sometimes just also happens to be pretty to look at lmao

#canines wolves and werewolves i love - i know what i am about. ill probably have more "niche My Special Interest tags" as i find posts that fit them

#nutty nutcrackers / #the nutcracker - another Special Interest tag. pretty self-explanatory, i like The Nutcracker a lot lmao

#betty boop - you would think this belongs with fandom tags, but no. part of why i am obsessed with her (and have been since i was, like, 14) is because she was the popularization of the very next tag's trend

#infantalization in animation - it's when you apply baby facial proportions to an adult bodied character, it's most often done in female characters. i'll be using this tag outside of animated stuff btw. but yeah, anything that examines that visual design choice i am all 👀 over lmao

#other people's art - any individual person, not counting final version of studio work (like ill tag "Lilo and Stitch"'s exploratory concept art with this, sure, but i wont tag stills of the "Lilo and Stitch" film)

↳ #animal art

↳ #background art

↳ #oc art - is all "my original character in a canon piece" kind of ocs, not the "my original character in my original story" type

↳ there are also specifically listed artists here and there if they have influenced me/my style in the past or recently (such as but not limited to: #rvsa). almost all of them are indies with social media (aka: no Van Gogh, no Hayao Miyazaki. if they have their own fandom, i tag said fandom and not the specific artist, usually. it depends. there are some gray areas)

#brushes - the (digital) brushes people i like use

#art tips

#writing tips - is about actually doing the practice

#on writing - is the philsophy about the practice

#[insert fandom here]

#[insert fandom here] analysis

(here are the tags i chose for some fandoms that had multiple possible tags. this is not all of my fandom tags)

● #studio ghibli, #[insert studio ghibli title here] (i tag both the movie itself and studio. because sometimes i want something from the original movie, so i go into those tags; and i also go to the studio to look at overarching things since the studio has such a strong overall aesthetic/visual brand)

● #[insert disney title] (here, i do tag the specific movies and i dont just use the studio. because im usually looking for specific things this one disney movie has)

● #moomin (as opposed to "moominvalley", "tales of moominvalley", or the like)

● #my hero academia (so many different options for one work)

● #trigun (so many different branching creations from one source lmao im just gonna lump them together)

● #into the spiderverse (i dont use "across the spiderverse" for simplicity's sake, and i don't use the hyphen/space between "spider(-)verse" also for simplicity. its easier for me to be consistent if i just go "nah, its all one word")

● #marvel comics (i do not tag the mcu specifically)

● #dc comics, #batman (i tag both. but i dont tag any other dc comics property. i just know im esp obsessed with the batfam enough that, sure, they should get their own tag)

[woodswolf]

4, 11, 18, 21, 35, 49. Feel free to answer as many or few as you so desire

writing ask game

4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

i have not been, but i maybe would like to be someday. i have some original ideas floating around (most of which have been for years), but it's like. i have a 9-5, i have games to play, i have other hobbies i like to do. if i DO happen to find an original idea that's just so wild that i HAVE to write it that's one thing, but im not gonna go out of my way to write something just to get published.

11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

there's only one thing that specifically comes to mind for this question and it's a fanfic that i first read when i was 16. but that's not necessarily an influence in terms of writing style, more like it literally rewired my brain and my analysis of it strongly influences my personal philosophy to this day: "hope is in everything but it is most present in places where it feels absent".

it's easier to break things down by individual works. for instance, my current wip is explicitly a "response" to two other fics i read last year that pulled off the same concept in different ways, with nods to other stories i've read and liked. (i also just realized as i was answering this that it's probably also a subconscious response to another fic i read a few years ago? it had really good disability rep but then kinda undercut itself via stapling on a romantic subplot — it blurred the very sharply-focused themes of disability rights and empowerment by mixing that with "oh but your new boyfriend is evil so :/". it's still a really good fic but this specifically irked me.) and by virtue of being a story about hope and its absence it kinda is indirectly a tribute to that first fic lol

18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

ooooh kinda hot take but i actually Don't like collabs all that much. i've only done a few, but none of them were great experiences. it's probably due to the fact that basically all of them were group-events-with-random-partners kinda things and someone always has to get matched up with the 13y/o, but i've never been able to look on the end results as something i was proud to participate in — they've always ended up pretty mediocre and left me with the feeling of "if i just wrote all of this myself it would suck way less".

a one-on-one more focused collab with co-plotting and more coordination and so on would probably be more fun, but i don't really have any writer Friends (at least not that i talk to on the regular) so it's kinda a moot point. me and my partner have talked about doing a combo collab at some point, though — they have a lot of very interesting ideas for a splatoon au that would play nicely into both of our strengths (writing/art) and i think that could really go somewhere interesting.

21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

i've really been enjoying the hocotate ship. kinda kooky, kinda smarmy, kinda sarcastic, just a really interesting bag of traits that i haven't previously written all that often.

in general, though, i would have to say olimar, and yes this is accounting for all of the years and years of julien ninjago. olimar is that same kind of "very introspective character who has a strained relationship with their family due to external forces", but unlike julien, who i've always written as being very anxious about keeping up appearances, olimar isn't really anxious at all (at least more than would be normal for someone who ends up in the situations he does on the regular). his problem is that he has a martyr complex taller than the empire state building and zero awareness that Actually That's Kind Of A Bad Thing.

35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

a few weeks ago i would've said DLDP2, which is the (mainline) sequel to my current wip, but i did a bit of thinking about how to plot things out there and it's a bit better now. it probably still is DLDP2, because there's a lot of other shit i still have to figure out there, but at this point it might be a case of "the devil you know" since DLDP3 and DLDP4 are almost certainly in vaguer states than DLDP2 is. but those two are also years off from being written probably while DLDP2 is Less. but who knows if i'll ever get around to it anyway, the only story i will be MAD if i don't get to wrte it is the DLD's spinoff sequel since that's where a lot more of the disability stuff is going to come into play.

49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

man i have no idea. definitely NOT olimar though at least if he was still 1 inch tall like that. i am afraid of him i would need to kill him to put him out of his misery. what cruel God has condemned them to such forms (and surely it must be a cruel God)?

[away-ward]

oh my! Your blogs are lively these day, we love to see them! Happy valentines day KO, hopefully you have a good week 🥰

You reply to latest anon "Let me know what it would take to make WinterMichael work (joking)." HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY WHATTTTTT im not gonna lie, i just bust out laughing when i read that. They never even come across my mind, now, but i'm very 🤨🫣 what have you done to me KO!! Damon Rika would end us!!

i love the damon-will-emory discussions that had been going on here too, so fun to see how people interpret characters and stories so similar yet so different than others! I can't lie, not until this week did i only notice about will being deceitful and cunning, maybe because it was never highlighted as much in other DN discussion & platforms? I only ever heard him being sunshine and suffering, but now that i took a step back and look at his personality... hmmm 🤔🫢 maybe these anon readers are onto something! Thank you all for this enlightening, maybe i should read this series more critically, how could i miss this!!

KO, question for you, list any 3 aspects of DN that you like a lot, doesn't matter if it's about the style, plot, characters, writing, feeling, etc. I don't think you've talked about this before right? Or maybe you did, but i never saw it, because i'm new ✌️😗

Hello new friend!

The frequency of asks definitely goes through phases. It’ll be silent for weeks and then a flood, but I don’t mind.

Damon Rika would end us!!

I’m still convinced that this is the reason PD made them siblings. They’re too easy to ship otherwise. But I also feel that they want to ship them, too, so they sort of shot themselves in the foot with that.

i love the damon-will-emory discussions that had been going on here too, so fun to see how people interpret characters and stories so similar yet so different than others!

It’s a lot of fun to see how other people interpret the series! It can be frustrating too, at times, but it’s mostly so much fun because it’s not really that serious. And a lot of readers have really good thoughts and insights that I would never have thought of. As long as it stays fun and respectful, I’ve loved getting asks of people just going off with their thoughts and interpretations.

Not until this week did I only notice about will being deceitful and cunning,

Seeing Will this way gives him so many layers, I highly recommend! I don’t want to toot my own horn, but if you haven’t read my 7k word Will analysis, you might find that interesting.

KO, question for you, list any 3 aspects of DN that you like a lot

Ooooo, okay! DN actually ticked a lot of boxes for me. I’ve touched on it before but no harm in going over it again.

I think the main thing I enjoy in any piece of entertainment is layers.

I really enjoyed the dual timeline aspect.

This is one of my favorite tools of storytelling. I love when the story starts in the middle and then takes us back and forth to tell the story. We get to watch everything unfold in layers instead of a straight shot. Don’t tell it to me straight, make me piece it together.

Friendship groups

I love strong friendship groups/dynamics. There’s been a rise in the core “3-4 Boys Rule the school” trope, and those don’t always hit with me, so it’s not that.

How relationships between people in the group grow and develop at different rates, and how different types of people show love in different ways, and how people band together to cover another’s area of weakness.

There’s a few quotes from Devil’s Night that I feel really hit on why this is interesting to me, but I ran across one the other day from Fire Night. Talking about Damon (who else, really?) Kai says,

“God, I hated him. I mean, I definitely jump off a bridge for him, but…”

It just drives me crazy wondering why? And I love that.

I’m debating on what a third thing was. I think the other two things hooked me enough to keep me reading, but…

The writing wasn’t terrible all the time. I loved Thunder Bay as a concept, and I think I was really hoping that the books would lean more into a crime/heist plot than they did. I remember in Conclave when Rika was like “but we’re not criminals” I was really disappointed.

They are criminals, and I wanted them to own it and do something with it. In my head, that’s were I would have taken the story. I don’t really care how they ended up in jail. They played with the law, they faced the consequences. The lesson they should have learned was be better criminals. Instead, we focused on how traumatizing that was for them, which… okay I guess.

I mean, overall the story caught me. If it wasn’t for Willemmy high school, I probably wouldn’t still be around. But I loved them so much that I sort of built up what I did enjoy and wish had taken place over the pieces that I didn’t really care for. A lot of what I talk about is just headcanon, but that’s okay. That’s what I use fandom for.

Thanks for the question, that was fun. Feel free to let me know what you enjoyed/why you're still here! It seems everyone loves to hate on the things that didn't work for them, which can be fun too. But there has to be a reason this series is occupying a space in our heads, right?

Looking forward to it

Ko

[iusedtobeapieceofconsciousness]

i think about Baltic a little too much to pretend i have no heart

A Tumblr account and a year of nothing but forced therapy later and im still alive somehow. A lot has happened, maybe people caught you up. Anyways, i was going to write about how im oh so fucked up or how im doing so much better or some shit, but im not, because its not really true. i miss some things. the junction feels like a ghost town, a foreign town without you being there to guide me around. and when i think of north york i get sick thinking of just what everything up there meant. I’m sorry about NYU, i know i was holding you back from New York, and i thought at least now you can go. i know im not supposed to know about that but i hope your other options work. i hope your parents are better and the next job you get is better than your last and that your world is healing, you deserve rest and a place to be safe. i hope youre not smoking too much and that youre sticking to just weed. Fuck you for that by the way, your sobriety meant a lot to me because it meant a lot to you, you couldve told me when you broke it instead of telling me when you wanted to use it to shock me. Maybe youll be relieved to know that im still smoking a lot, still fucking dumb, and still always late, you didnt miss out on much. i have some new friends and some have stayed, i have a girlfriend and she treats me really well, so you dont have to worry about me being dead yet. I hope youre ok, and i do genuinely care for you, i hope whoever you meet treats you well and loves you in all the right ways. Summer and the months after were filled with depression-fueled introspection and a lot of acid, so my thinking process is a little different but im not in psychosis yet. I hope your scars fade and your mind heals and your trauma is easier to manage and the doors of your life open and light pours into your windows whenever its needed and the tea you drink is always the right temperature and the work you put in fruitions into something beautiful and those little fish pastries stay available at the market and i hope you find someone who can make a deadline on time for God’s sake. I hope you and your mother can become friends, or i hope she fucking dies depending on your opinion on her at the moment. Maybe i cant talk about your mom anymore, i know she hates me, im sorry. im finally getting my adhd analysis, and im going in like 8 hours to get it done. my situation with my parents has become a very long story, but things with my dad got a lot worse before theyre now getting better.

You don’t have to be worried about me, i know ill fuck this situation up with my friends and girl and support system and ill kill myself in a few years and youll never have to hear about me again.

god i love your area, your world. i hope the traffic at dundas and keele never gets any better and the thrift thus always has new finds and that the woman there always recognizes you when you walk in, i hope theres always seemingly a million buses going to the station and only 2 going away when you need it, i hope kids keep climbing the fence to get to the train tracks at the park on vine because they get to live a little and i hope the vesuvios gets bought and reopened and that the outside of your house has gotten much safer when its late, I hope you love your cd player still and you take good care of that special version of Blonde. I miss that area, but i know its yours, and i respect that. Im sorry for walking into your world and then fucking it up. There are a lot of things that are wrong with me, and a lot of things about myself that i think i have made better. In a perfect world id be able to help you in life without you ever talking to me again, because i feel bad for all the fuck ups, but i know thats literally impossible. And im genuinely proud of you for staying alive, if im even allowed to tell you that. I hope someday your name is under a movie i just watched, or i hope i never hear of it again, whatever makes you happy. I lie, id like to be reminded and know of your existence as time passes. I hope you find peace, therapy, and closure, and a good set of friends. I know theyre out there, and i know youll find them. I hope you continue and succeed in your plans of getting the hell out of the city, that plan works for you solo or together, i know it means more to you than it did to me. and im sorry i couldn't be everything, and im more sorry for becoming worse than just not enough. every emotion i felt for you i felt it very intensely, wanting to fall on the floor and crumble into a ball of overwhelming emotion and angst and yearning to understand what anything i was feeling actually meant, and i think thats a reflection of who you are. youre a wildfire, caged in the confines of your mind. If anyone could bend the universe to their will, its you. Youre so very strong Leticija. I hope the universe brings good things and good people into your life and that you find peace in whatever you do. You’re so much better than all the shit you’re going through. I was going to end this with some niche connection to fireball and night fiend so it could sound nice and make me cry, but im really fucking bad at it and cant think of one, so you have this. I truly hope youre ok, you were always right when you said life sucks and I hope Cat and Big Cat are doing well too. I still count trees while saying tree out loud like our competition, and i still think what you’d think of the books i read. You continued living, and im very glad you did. You’re an enigma, please never stop being you. 

[tepperz]

i didnt think about it before now either xD

i know lol 20,000+ is too much, i keep getting distracted XDD I'm also always saving morrrrrrreeeeeeeee. Pixiv in particular is sooo bad for that -- if you have a subscription to it, it just keeps recommending you good art after good art. and it's like! aaaaa! I can't keep up with how many amazing works there are! (screaming)

"The example and your analysis of it are really interesting! You’re right about the unique highlights and warm color drawing attention there. I hadn’t noticed until you pointed them out! Even just the one “simple” artwork had a lot of valuable details."

You get it you totally get it!!!!!! Yeah, exactly!!! Like I get its easy to gloss over as a picture but it actually has soooo much unique value! I really like that kind of thing!! I'm a super nerd when it comes to seeing the unique value of artworks ><. I feel like most artwork has its own appeal. Not to sound weird or anything, but besides saving sooo many artworks, I sometimes also go through the manga I own too and try to write down what I think the mangaka has done super well with paneling/screentones/ect, and what I think they could improve on. It's super useful for reference, as someone who's trying to make comics! Even manga I don't like have good points that are worth learning from!

So how would you categorize something like that?? @@ I get how just one doesn’t encompass all that now!

I think i'd put that picture into "portrait - no background" and also save a copy of it into my "texture" folder? hmmmmm. dang, i should have sorted it while I was looking at it earlier!!!!!! i forgor LOL

I’d love to see how these details are translated into your own works.

I legitimately thought of drawing something new with that pic as inspiration, but im in an art block right now so I can't u_u; But! I will go find a work that I had inspiration for!

so in this one I was trying to give the atmosphere of someone with low contrast dark blue, sort of a creepy mood. The unnaturally still pose in the photo with the low contrast of the anime picture. I don't think it worked out this time, but it is an example of me pulling from other works.

oh! heres another one

that was last year so im trying to remember what aspects I pulled from. the chibis are my character references, the photo is his eye color... and from top to bottom... I think the top white drawing is his face shape? And below that is his hair color. Below that, the low saturation is inspiration, and the bottom reference is... i have no idea. Vibe? lmao. But yeah, my point is not all my references are masterpieces but I try to cobble them together like some goblin quilt lol

(asldfdsaklj I see you show your art with references later on bless you~)

heehee. I like seeing yours too ^^

Oh yeah, all the poses and expressions even in those portraits do have something that makes them stand out! Even art without backgrounds has to have good balance and use of negative space.

yeah! Exactly! Since organizing and seeing similar pieces together Im really starting to understand some patterns. It's good to learn.

A Clothing folder is sooo useful for cool details or cuts, but also the fabric types and specific folds. I struggle a lot with designing outfits so any help is lifesaving orz

8U I should do that. Have you tried pintrest? I have a lot of cool clothes saved on pinterest. I know it's kinda cliche to turn to pinterest for ideas but it always gets my mind twirling when I see the different types of aesthetics. I know you didn't ask and feel free not to bother clicking it, but if you want inspiration with clothes, heres a link to a pinterest board I use specifically for super interesting clothes: xxx

It’s been so many years since I started this organization system now… I think my Pictures folder just got too disorganized so I separated poses, and then just kept separating as the need arose. Haha letting the folder decide must speed things up a lot though! No worrying about which reference has been waiting for years to be used, just following the mood~

Wish... i wish i'd done that xD You realized the benefits of organizing a lot sooner then me. I watched a video lately about how people who are really good at drawing know what references to use in any particular situation (I think it was this one: xxx) and it sort of hit me how I was holding myself back by not being able to sort what I liked and why. It's really cool to see what pictures you chose and how they work together (with the middle distance and long distance backgrounds folders). I can definitely see the impact it has on your work already!! In my opinion I think you're very good at middle distance shots, so I can see how you'd be inspired by those works! And the interesting angles in your references and big shapes translates into your art as well, I believe ^^

I’m down for trading tutorials for sure! o// Anything to do with light or clothes would be treasured forever~ Are there specific tutorials you’d like? (And ones you’d recommend?)

Ohhh yeah let me get together a bundle for you! Here! I hope this helps! https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1yGCOUpPunk038by_ztRgELAWLRgmxEVK?usp=share_link ^^

as for me, if you find any tutorials on backgrounds or gesture, I'd love it if you threw them my way! no pressure thuogh.

Man, it’s so cool seeing the references near your art. They all came together and made something with the feeling but new. Loving the moodboard lol!! xD Once they’re on your canvas, then you don’t have to go digging through folders any more, I see I see! :3c

heehee, thank you! I'm glad that comes through!! Exactly, I feel like digging through files gets me out of the flow so I just throw them all on my canvas. i dont mean to make moodboards but it does end up working for me!

Watercolor has a distinctive transparent look so it’s easy for me to tell apart at least! Gouache is a bit harder because it can look like acrylic but they can be used the same way so it’s okay if some get mixed in… (I honestly can’t tell the difference between mediums like oil and acrylics though!! I don’t use them so their nuances are mysteries~) 

ohhhhhh. i guess thats true, watercolor really does have a texture. Gouache I just recently got some this week for the first time. Did you know that they're basically watercolors??? It's wild. But when I see good gouache it reminds me a lot of hard shading, like in anime. Oil I feel like also has a texture, kind of... thick? I have literally no idea about acrylics though. All I know is I like to watch people on youtube use them to relax.

And sometimes I’ll find inspiration in an unexpected folder– It’s tiny but the pic on the bottom right was the biggest influence on this piece! I loved the strong shadows and greenish tint!

i know this is the last thing in this huge bleeping wall of text but its literally so cool to see your inspiration and the final piece. I can totally see where you're coming from with the blues and greens and it's really interesting to see the correlation. Thats why I wanted to put some of my finished works and references in this post too. I love seeing those kinds of things. If you want to share more, I wouldn't mind.

Anyway, thanks for chatting with me!

How did you learn to draw so well? Like was it from classes or a book on fundamentals or just trial and error?

//// thanks for the kind question!

I guarantee you I would have improved faster if I’d taken a class, but I hope some of the materials I’ve used over the years can be of use to you too:

Andrew Loomis’ books - I never made it past the first chapters, but those had some great advice.

Youtube - Proko’s bean method. Figure drawing references will greatly improve anatomy and “drawing what you see”. It’s boring imo, so doing just 5-10 minutes a day can keep one from burning out while still seeing improvement. Speed painting videos are a nice way to relax and study.

Will Terrell’s People Drawing series - He’s a humble man with personal advice for artists. I watch his videos when I feel discouraged or lost.

Art, art, art - Whenever I see an artwork that I like, I figure out exactly what pleases me: line thickness, nose shape, finger positions, composition, the way the hair bends in the wind, etc. Then I try to incorporate that specific characteristic into my own art.

I have growing folders of (I’m a bit embarrassed) almost 8,000 pictures, organized by characteristics, for the sole purpose of studying their prettiness. Sometimes we don’t need a tutorial to spell everything out, just an example can help us envision our own works’ potential. Also, staring at pictures is a relaxing way to study too!

And of course, trial and error~ I don’t post my sad, failed paintings or all the weird sketches I make, but they exist and teach a lot!

[another-stark-sub]

“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.” 

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all  you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair. 

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best. 

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic. 

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you. 

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe. 

It was addicting. 

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has  78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned. 

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t. 

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no. 

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop. 

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?”

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal. 

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him. 

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis. 

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable. 

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.” 

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing. 

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons? 

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened. 

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks. 

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked. 

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead. 

It was a hard press of  your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much. 

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him. 

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck. 

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek. 

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours. 

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased. 

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him. 

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as  you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first.  “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.

[envy-of-the-apple]

Oh! Could I ask for a yandere analysis on Sebastian or Claude from Black Butler please? I thought your other write ups were well done and fascinating! :D

I love you. I wish you happiness and good food. Go prosper.

im gonna write sebastian cuz season 2 is a memory I'd like to unlive. but yeah, thank you for finally giving me an excuse to write black butler!!!!

Yandere Analysis: Sebastian Michealis

(Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, sadistic tendencies, mention of blood)

Though he hungers for the soul, that isn't the only thing he wants.

He's lived for so many years, becoming different personas, meeting so many new people, only for all of them to die and disappear. A hundred years is an instant for him, but it's enough to wither a human away to bones.

He isn't sad by it. Demons process emotions differently than humans but he thinks the more he's spent with the humans the more he's starting to become one.

The demon longs for stability.

Something that will last a bit longer than a few centuries. Something that will never change in his constantly changing life.

Something like you.

It doesn't really matter where he acquired you from. Maybe he saw you in Mughal India, or perhaps in Victorian England. Maybe you look at him a little too long, or laugh a little too sweetly. He won't care, not when he's finally found it. Something stable.

Humans can't survive for too long where he comes from. The terrain is too harsh. Something he'd call a simple rainstorm would melt your skin away like ice. The fortress he keeps you in is safe, secure. As long as you don't leave and trek into danger, of course.

He's patient with you adjusting, at least. Something he prides himself in is his control. He doesn't get angry when you cry and cry for days, or when you pathetically offer him human money in exchange for your freedom. The demon just smiles, offering you another cup of tea, smearing away your broken sobs. When you overcome your despair, you find it a little ironic that although you are trapped here, he's the one who serves you like a butler.

His sadism is still there, but it's hidden away. He pushes it far inside of him, it would be a shame if he broke you too soon. However, it does come out from time to time. If you cut yourself on something sharp, he'll be at your aide immediately, scolding you for being so careless. You can't really take his words to heart, not when there's a thin smile on his face as he watches blood drip onto the floors.

He likes it when you get hurt. And maybe, despite himself denying it on numerous occasions, he really wants to hurt you.

It's best to not give him a reason to.

[chemicalpink]

BTS members's reaction to their future spouse wearing their clothes....

Disclaimer: This analysis/reading is based on my experience and knowledge of astrology, it is not meant to be the absolute truth, as BTS are real people, and astrology can only capture so much about multidimensional humans that have had past experiences and cultural approaches amongst other things, it does not have to resonate with you since this is in no way related to anyone reading it (unless you are a member of BTS in which case, get out of here lol ) This is just for entertainment purposes.Remember that tarot as a form of divination only allows us to read current energy and as time advances it becomes less accurate, so it basically reads up to a 6 months period of time, which leads me to also mention that by s/o I mean any soon to be relationship or an already established relationship, indistinct of whether they are a soulmate relationship or not. Entertainment purposes only.

Warning: contains slight mentions of smut, not explicit.

KIM SEOKJIN

he feels this sort of fondness inside of him, kinda like taking a big needed gulp of air after holding your breath for too long, this man has stars inside his eyes from watching his s/o in his clothes, can’t help but think hey, maybe they look even better on them than I do (only for a split second tho) the feeling you get all warm and fuzzy inside? that’s a given in him. Ear bright red, he might not be too much into lending his clothes on a daily but he sure as hell discovers a fondness in it. There’s also this sort of… domesticity to it, like- this man wants to feel at home and watching his s/o using something of his definitely delivers that homey feeling. Apart from all that, the quote that comes up us “you deserve love” so maybe… that impulsive need you sometimes get when you wanna wrap up something cute and squish it? That's the feeling that’s most prominent here. (5oCrx, the star, the empress oracle cards)

MIN YOONGI

now this is interesting… when watching his s/o in his clothes, Yoongi has this conflicted set of feelings, overwhelmed, mainly, he truly knows how to appreciate the cuteness behind the act but he can’t help but feel kind of undeserving of it, it seems like the action starts an overthinking spiral of yeah they’re cute and all but what they do for me is so much more than I could ever give back. He kind of feels selfish by keeping them by his side, can’t really bring himself to mutter a bigger compliment that a ‘you look nice’ don’t get him wrong, he definitely acknowledges the small act of love but he’s.. carrying so much inner baggage that he can’t really look past what the scene makes him feel. (the hermit rx, 6oS, 10oC+ oracle cards)

JUNG HOSEOK

Now… Hobi is a fashion icon okay keep this in mind. He seems to be very particular of his clothes so while he knows there are no bad intentions behind it, he kinda feels itchy at the sight. It is funny though, there’s a playful feeling of surrender as he watches his s/o wear his clothes, like ‘fine okay I won’t get as itchy just this once cause you look cute or whatever’ soft smiles and warm hearts. Although he’s not the biggest fan of the action, it definitely serves to boost his ego, makes him feel like the man in a non greasy way/non toxic way, like a reassurance that his s/o is deciding to stay by his side after all. Similar to having conflicted feeling like Yoongi but from different parts from within, sure, he can’t help but think ‘oh god please be careful with that jacket if it gets stained there’s no going back’ but at the same time watching his s/o in it softens his rough edges and makes him smile even just a little. (7oWrx, 10oS, the emperor + oracle cards)

KIM NAMJOON

This man- the absolute death of me. Kim NAmjoon enjoys a good teasing. And he can’t help but keep feeling like that is exactly what his s/o wearing his clothes entails, and man is he glad to play along. Not quite exactly sexual, but more of a sensual part of it, he’s just dying to get the clothes off. Can’t keep his hands to himself (cue that one Selena Gomez song) it flips a PDA switch on him, he feels absolutely loved to the edges, has this warm feeling inside his heart that he can’t help but wonder how he got so lucky, and honestly, it isn’t frequently when people get to see his bright sunny side so it ends up being even softer than intended, he just feels so full and bursting at the seams with happiness. (5oC, the sun, ace oC+ oracle cards)

PARK JIMIN

Error 404. Park Jimin.exe has stopped working. This man loves good dramatics in his day to day and really, there’s no stopping him when he sees his s/o in his clothes, Time stops, his heartbeat is erratic, all he wants is to be their loyal servant, personal hype man at their service. Whatever it is that he was doing before? forget that completely, he's devoted to his s/o now. He gets to experience new sides of the relationship with such a simple action, like realising that he truly is head over heels for this person. There’s just a lot of loudness in this. I meant it when I said personal hype-man, would probably even go as far as to let his s/o “shop” inside his vast clothes collection ‘yeah take this and this, these would look amazing on you’ So yeah maybe he feels a tad bit insecure that his s/o is absolutely rocking his wardrobe but he can quickly get those feelings aside if it means watching his s/o just a little bit longer being the truest model there could possibly be out there. (IM SORRY I LOST THE CARDS LMAO)

KIM TAEHYUNG

This man goes 0 to 100 real quick. And don't get me wrong, he’s pretty romantic, but seeing his s/o wear his clothes? Now that’s a switch going off very clearly. Again, not in a toxic masculine way, but Taehyung is bursting with this distinctive dominating shine when watching his s/o wear his clothes, he’s absolutely on top of the world, cloud nine, and there’s no coming back down. He’s pretty playful about it, but there’s absolutely no doubt that inside his mind those clothes are currently non-existent. It’s the final nail in the coffin, the final reassurance that his s/o is his and his only, like a reminder that he is in a relationship and he’s 100% devoted to it. It does go down the traditional relationship line of thought but he’s quite a traditional man himself, so without any ill intention behind, he would really just like to show off his s/o being cute inside his clothes, a proud feeling behind when he talks about it, like a little kid teasing his friends about getting the best candy out of them all. (the hierophant, justice, the chariot)

JEON JUNGKOOK

Okay this is about to be quite a ride. As things are right now, he doesn’t seem to have a lot of tact when it comes to lovey dovey couple stuff, this man is more of a- man of deep rooted actions and sometimes cute words sprinkled on top rather than superficial actions, he doesn’t seem to find the appeal behind his s/o wearing his clothes, at least in an intended to be romantic type of way. He finds it trendy and he might just act cold about it, it doesn’t really hold a deeper meaning to him personally. Listen, he might be the type of boyfriend to ask for his hoodies back as soon as possible. If it isn’t meant to be done in a “oh look the couple sharing clothes” way, he might find his s/o cute in them, but not overwhelmingly so like many other people do. He’s just- very particular about his possessions being his. Funny inner thought that came up ‘we can buy matching shirts just please don’t steal my clothes’ (judgement rx, the tower, QoSrx)

Decks Used: the romance angels oracle cards, the prisma visions tarot

[voidcat]

Oh yeah, might as well make another part of 'spoon appreciating (simping for) someone's writing'

I'll just start with the first major problem!! Will you take responsibility of making me simp for Verlaine and Mori?? Like...how?? I am not exaggerating when i say that that would have never happened otherwise. Your writing just changed my whole perception of the two :D and i'd like to ask "how!?" I only ever simped for chuuya and dazai! And now i simp for the boomer-times new roman-cursive versions of the two :,(

What's the problem, you may ask?🤔🤔

Well maybe the fact that my brain only accepts your portrayal of them?! None other!! (I have reread your mori & verlaine work countless times. And i still haven't grown bored of it)

So you can imagine the death grip your fics have on me 😔😔 they hold me by the throat.

And then there is something that I had mentioned once before, but I got reminded of it when I was going through a writing high last week.

The way you write some of the x-reader pieces from the Canon character's pov??? Genius. I know you didn't come up with it, but those fics in particular live in my mind rent free. Looking inside character's minds, and seeing them be whipped for reader??? I just-- I can't!! And it's unrequited love too!!

Une Larme in particular!! What have you done to my poor heart!! >:(

I can't even convey just how much i love the things you've written. 

And when I say that, I mean, you indirectly changed my own writing style!! Which only happens when i read published work and see their writing style as ASPIRING...Who would have known a bsd x reader writer on tumblr will just go and climb on top of my 'fave authors list' ?? Is that allowed?? 👁👁

Yeah. 

Voidcat >>> my faves at this point

And I'll make sure to read A Case Of Bad Luck on ao3 and send you my opinions as actual comments, instead of these (whatever you can call these) asks!! 

The problem with these asks is that I started with just wanting to say what I like about your work, then I forgot to go into some things and had to send in another ask. And now that cycle continues as I keep finding things I have yet to say!!

(So yeah, part three of spoon dumping their unfiltered stream of consciousness on voidcat!! And this will surely not be the last!! the saga continues <3 )

And yes, I shall forgive your treason of doubting me 😌😌

ik i replied in a similar way to one of ur asks before but the fact that i LEGITHAVE NO WORDS THE WAY IM AT A LOSS OF WORDS WHEN I READ THESE?!?!??!!?PLSSSSSS idk what to say other than thank you for reading and thank you for sticking around dfsgdhf ily i May actually cry, im going thru one of my mood swings this week soif i cry its on YOU and You only (to emphasize my point:i rarely cry irl so magine the weight of my words rn... YEAH theyre huge)

and well.... good news ig? bc aqua and i were discussing abt writing a mori multchap fic adfsgxdhf genshin mafia au literally blinking at us rn it took us 6 months jusr to write the intro and we r gonna abandon it for a morally questionable hot doctor whos technically ex military....

and i suck when it comes to recording but i can naybe play une larme in vc one day if u want adfsgdfh i rlly dk what to say abt verlaine, his effect on me was so unexpected too...... i rlly a man suffering and go "yea bet im taking my claim on this poor meow meow now" (the meow meow in question: literally known as the king of assassings,,, but it ok im sweet he'd not harm me... right.....)

and ik i kinda exposed this bit abt myself in an answer to u before but maybe its bc i kinda write these stuff w7o a fic in mind???like as f wriiting smt and slapping a character name later on Or more like an analysis on a character/human and maybe thtas why it feels less like a x-reader fic sajdfdgf (i def opened this blog as 'wriitng practice' bc i wanted t expand my genre of og writings......now look at me still here after a year)

and ido like to tweak things from other character perspectivesbc i think i have this,, obvious profile for a reader adfsgd so i try to appear a bt more diverse. and ilikeexploring diff views if it makes sense:D (like how i cant relate to most mitski songs but i also /can/ bc i know i /couldve/ lived through the same pain, if not similar)idk humans are interesting and w bsd characters, the questioning of your humanity, emotions etc... i guess i just get it lol

and for bad luck i do have all the stuff posted and my links should work now so if its easier u can always read them here lmao

(also..... u can always have me as ur fave author ifi ever make that one idea of writingshort storiesinto a reality and get them published,,,,)

thank you for your forgiveness<333 i'll make sure not to hurt you like that next time ipromise

OHOH waiti forgot to add,, maybe the mori fic kinda hits bc at core,,, dazai and mori are not so different after all. in their few differences, dazai is (mostly) worse than him if we are being honest. but most of the mannerism and behaviors, even that damned smile and everything.... those are all the thngs mori has bled and blended into dazai. as much as the mighty feared port mafiaisactually just dazai, dazai mostly is just actually a copy of mori. (he just appears more charming/likeable)

so yea my "if you claim to like dazai but hate mori, youre a hypocrite" agenda is back again (lets ,gnore how i never mentioned it here before) <3

[disneydeb1928]

One Piece Theory: The Treasure of Mary Geoise

The first time we hear about the existence of a treasure hidden in Mary Geoise is by Doflamingo, 

“It’s because I know all about a crucial treasure… that exists within sacred Mary Goise!! And the very knowledge of its existence would shake the world to its foundations!! To them, I was the worst kind of fugitive… one with an ace up his sleeve! Once the Celestial Dragons realized they couldn’t kill me… they grew quite cooperative. If only I’d had the power of the op-op fruit in my grasp… On that specific day years ago… I would have been able to use of Marie Goise’ treasure to seize true world power!!!”

                                                                                -       Doflamingo, Chapter 761

We can garner, actually, quite a few things from Doflamingo’s speech. For starters, he calls it a “crucial” treasure. “Crucial” implies that whatever the treasure may be is, at the very least, very important (no duh!). However, “crucial” is a very particular word to choose. It alludes to a necessity – This treasure is imperative for the continuing success of something.

But for what?

While pirates, wars, and uprisings may cause the World Government annoyance, the events and people that appear to cause them the most alarm are those that challenge the status quo. They are absolutely terrified of the possibility that the world they’ve constructed in the last 800 years might be fall apart. The general Celestial Dragons fear this on a very topical level. They like the grandiose and morally ambiguous world they live in that gives them all the power. However, the Gorosei and Im-Sama tackle this on a much more hands-on level (See: Ohara Incident). It’s because of this, that I believe that the treasure is critical for maintaining the current state of affairs for the One Piece World.

Doflamingo then states that,

“If only I’d had the power of the op-op fruit in my grasp… On that specific day years ago… I would have been able to use of Marie Goise’ treasure to seize true world power!!!

The op-op fruit, as we know, can gift a person eternal youth (basically immortality) via the Perpetual Youth Surgery. Therefore, Doflamingo is saying that had he been immortal, he would have been able to use the treasure to take over the world. This implies one of two things:

1.)   To seize true world power, would require a person to use the national treasure for a very long time (which would be possible as eternally youthful)

2.)   A regular human would not be able to utilize the national treasure

Personally, I feel that the second option is more likely because it insinuates that only a very particular type of person is able to use the national treasure. Which would connect us to the new mysterious body of power in the One Piece World – Im-Sama.

Before the Reverie Arc, the Gorosei were the big bad bosses of the World Government. Shrouded in a lot of secrecy, they remain nameless to this day. The first several chapters of this arc, as well as comments made previously, built the Reverie up to be a nonpartisan gathering of world leaders. Oda emphasized this fact by focusing on the “empty throne”. So imagine our surprise, when only a few chapters later, we are introduced to Im-Sama (Ch. 906).

We first see them entering a freezing chamber deep within Pangea Castle with bounty posters in hand. Inside the chamber is a large straw hat. Fans immediately started to theorize that the giant straw hat must be the national treasure. Honestly, who is to say that it’s not, because at this point, anything is possible. However, with that being said, I doubt Oda would make it that literal – or that easy.

As I mentioned, this chapter – as well as the one afterwards – has spawned many a theory. Many have done a deep analysis of every page. There is little doubt that the straw hat is important. It would simply be too much of a coincidence (in relationship to Luffy) to be anything but a purposeful decision made on Oda’s part. However, I think the room Im-Sama enters, is of particular interest.

For starters, it appears as though there’s either steam in the air, or it’s freezing. If the whisps in the air are supposed to represent the cold, I believe – like many others – that this room’s purpose is to preserve something. If the straw hat is to be taken at face value, then it wouldn’t make sense to place it in a frozen room. I’m no expert on straw, but I’m pretty sure getting it wet constantly in the cold temperature wouldn’t lend itself to keeping it in pristine condition. No, I think it’s more likely that the giant straw hat has a connection to whatever is really being housed in that room.

So here it goes: It’s possible that the room is a crypt meant to preserve a person’s body. Honestly, in the world of One Piece, I don’t even think the person would necessarily have to be dead for them to be kept preserved. A la carbonite in Star Wars. If this is true, than it’s safe to say that whoever is being kept preserved is the true owner of that giant straw hat.

However, that begs the question, is this person even the treasure? Oda decided to introduce us to Im-Sama right after Doflamingo mentions the national treasure from his cell in Impel Down, saying,

“Isn’t it fine to reveal what it is already…? Power degrades quickly anyway… it rots away in no time at all…!! Fufufufu!!”

                                                                                -       Doflamingo, Chapter 906

“Why does it matter if it’s revealed now? Power doesn’t last long. It’ll rot faster than anything thinks!”

                                                                                -       Doflamingo, Episode 885

I think it’s interesting that Doflamingo choose the word “rot” to describe how power degrades because that’s usually how people describe a dead body. This could just be a coincidence, but Doflamingo has a sick sense of humor and I could see him finding this funny – especially if no one else knew.

With that being said, I don’t want to overlook the importance of his statement “power degrades quickly anyway”. Because, while at first I thought he was referring to the national treasure’s power degrading, I now believe he’s referring the World Government itself. It’s almost like he’s saying, that at this point it shouldn’t matter if the secret gets out, because it was going to eventually. No body of power can last forever no matter how much control you have – something Doflamingo knows intimately. It definitely fits the fatalistic mindset we’ve come to expect from Doflamingo.

However, that begs the question, what exactly can this treasure do? Why is it crucial for the World Government to have? At this point, we can only really speculate on what specific ability it has. However, I would wager a guess that it has something to do with controlling how people remember history.

In a separate post, I speak about how the World Government has remained in power for so long because of how they manipulate the population similar to that of the Galactic Empire in Star Wars. They rewrite history to paint themselves as heroes and then continue to monitor the news and information before it goes out to the people, which in turn, increases complicity.

I just think that if it were some great destructive device, that we would have seen it by now. 

[samsilver975]

Well, this is it boys. My final character analysis. Dream, Techno, and Tommy. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be skirting the word count here. Thank you to all of you who have been reblogging and liking the posts, it means a lot. That being said, because of the characters I’m going to be talking about and the weird split between Techno and Tommy viewers, I want to remind everyone that below are my own opinions and analyses. You are entitled to your own opinion. Well, let’s get this show on the road!

Dream:

One of the best things about the server is that there are no black and white characters. There are no good or evil, but verying degrees of gray. That said, Dream’s pretty close to black; he’s the closest we get to a main villain throughout the story. Dream’s been the underlying antagonist for a while, but I feel he’s taken a bigger role in this season. As far as I can tell, Dream’s got two motives: bringing the server together as one big family with no factions who he definitely doesn’t control, and prolonging the conflict with Tommy. Tommy is entertainment to him. Dream doesn’t want to give up the disks because then the story, Tommy’s story will end. I’m in the camp of beleiveing that if the disks return to Tommy, the plot line will essentially be over. Dream doesn’t want to part with his plaything just yet, but he can’t kill him either. After all, what happy family goes around killing its members? Horrible punishments? No! But emotional manipulation, is fine. That doesn’t just apply to Tommy: Dream manipulated Tubbo, Eret, Techno (to an extent. There’s a favor floating around still) among others. I think, if Tommy wins, Dream will be forced to either find a new plaything (I personally think Tubbo. L’Manburg is kind of Tubbo’s ‘disks’ in a way. Oh, I’m sorry, Snowchester) or he will have to kill Tommy. My speculation for tomorrow is that Tommy and Tubbo will defeat Dream, but Dream will snap and either call on Techno’s favor to in prison Tommy, or will just pull a god thing and kill Tommy outright. But that’s just a theory, a GAM-

Techno:

I’m very much a middle of the road sort of person. I pretty much watched or partially watched everyone’s perspective (from except Phil’s sorry) on Doomsday, and since then I try to catch both Techno’s and Tommy’s when they are streaming. Why do I say this? Well, you’re going to notice that I am not going to make a clear decision on who I support. I’ll try my best to keep these last two as unbiased as possible...

I’ll start by saying that Techno is... strange to me. I can’t tell if I really like his character, or hate it. I’ll begin with the negatives, I think. I don’t like how Techno points to everyone betraying him instantly. Tommy did use him for supplies and shelter and what have you, but something I find people don’t consider is that Techno used Tommy too. Tommy said over and over he wasn’t going to blow up L’Manburg, and time and time again Techno brushed Tommy aside. Techno forced Tommy to choose between a lifelong friend who’d made a mistake and been manipulated, and someone who barely deigned themselves to respect him. I saw people were really surprised by Tommy choosing Tubbo, but... was it all that unexpected. That’s not to say Techno was unjustified. He did extend his hand to Tommy, only for it to be batted away, and maybe he meant well, but he was kind of an ass to Tommy. It wasn’t manipulation like Dream did, but he did use Tommy to help him gather supplies and get into L’Manburg and what have you. I guess the real thing that defines the dislike side of things is that Techno really doesn’t try to see from other’s perspectives. He tends to take a ‘my way or the high way’ approach. Also... I don’t really know how to feel about the syndicate. I can’t tell as of yet if it is truly as open as Techno made it out to be.

Alright, Techno’s good things. A lot of Techno’s actions were justified. I feel like L’Manburg waaaaay overreacted, and Techno’s anger was extremely justified. L’Manburg, for all of its good intentions, was corrupt. It needed to fall. (The builder in me would have just preferred a coup or disbandment or something, not a chunk error, but I guess what happens happens not like you can fix anything now.) I still think Technos story will continue beyond this season. He’s still got people he needs to take down. I don’t think Tommy’s on that list actually. I mean... he didn’t kill him on sight today, and he let Tommy say goodbye so...? Either way, there are still people that need to be taken down. I feel kind of bad for Eret tbh. It’s gonna be a bumpy road for him, even if he means well. Techno also was right to be angry at Tommy. They betrayed each other, in a way. Their alliance was as doomed as L’Manburg.

Tommy:

Our protagonist. Our ‘hero.’

Like Techno, I feel there are good and bad things to be said about Tommy’s character. Unlike Techno, Tommy’s character both changed and didn’t change at the same time. I noticed a lot of people saying that ‘Tommy is so immature,’ or ‘why doesn’t he just give up the disks he didn’t change at all,’ or whatnot. My response to this is: Tommy did not have a chance to develop. He spent the season being tormented by Dream, then dragged into the anarchists where he didn’t really have a say. Why did he ‘betray’ Techno? It was all Tommy knew. He’d been betrayed over and over again himself. Tommy, for so, so long, did not experience any sort of support. Tubbo exiled him, Dream nearly destroyed him, Techno didn’t listen, and Tommy? Tommy didn’t know what to think because not once did anyone care about what he had to say, until it was much too late.

For of all his stagnation though... Tommy did change. And it all comes down to one line. “The disks are more important then you ever were.” I’m that moment, Tommy realized that somewhere in exile, or somewhere in the tundra, he’d lost some sort of humanity. In the same way that Quackity realized how much like Schlatt he was, Tommy realized how blind he’d been by his want of the disks. He was willing to give up his own best friend for material wealth. He betrayed Techno because he realized that Tubbo was more important. Ever since then, Tommy has been a bit more attentive to other people. He apologizes to Tubbo and Connor. He offers IOU’s to people, which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but would old Tommy have done that? But then, why continue to go after the disks? Well, something changed in that motive to. Before, Tommy wanted the disks back because, “The disks were mine and he stole them from me.” He wanted them back because having them stolen was an insult that needed repaying. Now though, I think Tommy wants them back because he truly believes that it would solve conflict. He doesn’t want them back for himself anymore, he wants them back because that’s the only way to achieve peace. Whether that is true or not, I can’t say. I also saw a lot of people wondering ‘why the disks. Why were they so important to him in the first place?’ The disks represent the good old days. When it was just a server playing Minecraft. Before L’Manburg and Techno and Wilbur and hto dog vans and exiles, before everything. That’s why they are so important to him. They represent memories. Peace. Happiness Tommy hasn’t felt since then. It’s why it’s so hard for him to let them go. Letting them go would be letting the memories go; letting the people attached to those memories go. Tommy is trapped in the past. I by no means support the obsession, nor do I find it justifiable... but it is understandable.

Let’s see... I already touched on why Tommy left Techno... so let’s finish off with some interesting things that Tommy has learned. As awful as Dream was to him, Tommy learned somthing very important from him. Sentiment is a weapon and a bargaining chip. He secures Sapnap’s Loyalty by returning Mars, Sapnap’s ‘disks’, an item of sentiment to him. I also think of the pair, Tommy is better equipped to let L’Manburg fade then Tubbo. If Tommy succeeds, I wonder what will happen. And does loosing mean dying. Tommy thinks it does, but loosing to Dream could mean many different things. The battle tomorrow will not be so straightforward as Tommy seems to think. We wait with bated breath. For some dark levity at the end of it all. If Tommy wins, Niki’s gonna off ‘im anyway so...

Thanks for reading! If you made it all the way down here, kudos. I hope you enjoyed. I hope to post more in the future, not only DreamSMP, but other fandoms as well. I’ll see you all later!