#I keep seeing insane gifsets I need to watch so bad I'm just so bad at watching tv

[fruitcd]

If severance gives us old man yaoi throuple I might seriously have to tap in

[spicyvampire]

Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?

I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that

Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess

Putting it under keep reading

So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)

Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn

SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins

This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too

Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)

Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)

And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane

SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins

Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution

Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer

When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone

Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)

His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people

Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)

Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn

SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins

Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?

Wansarut and Sakuna

And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?

Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)

Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)

And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger

And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post

Tharn and Chalothorn : the final

So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn

So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this

And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)

The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened

Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go

Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)

So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands

It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore

So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part

[lil-melody-moon]

Okay @fiammee, so here's the answer <3

In all honesty, but in truly in all honesty, it happened so suddenly and randomly and chaotically that I still wonder how I went from "He's cute" to "I want a boyfriend like that, I want him as my boyfriend" in less than a month, but let's dive in and see XD

So it all started at August. I got Instagram again and while I was kinda cleaning it to have more posts of older bands (Led Zeppelin, The Beatles - my Beatles phase was slowly fading away, replaced with come back of Led Zeppelin one) instead of System of a Down that I had my dash all with and while my algorithm was fixing itself I think, I saw this photo:

I didn't have a CLUE who it was, but I looked at him and thought: "Okay you are cute, who are you?" and that never happened before. Sure I got curious about who I saw, but never this much. Luckily there was a description and a lil story about him so I got his name, found out about the band and this happened, in this very order:

-> I forgot to search for him, I was focusing on getting into a new band (it was The Rolling Stones at that time), but dad came in with "I'll show you Deep Purple 😎"

-> found "Who's Next" album in the record store connecting the dots that that's Keith's band

-> NOT GETTING THE CD AND REGRETTING IT LATER

-> forgetting again

-> enter 23rd of August and me seeing posts with Keith on my dash specifically one where he was all neat in a suit, elegant ya know and I looked at the gifset and said out loud: "That... THAT'S KEITH?!"

-> keeping him in my mind this time but still not checking out The Who

-> until September when "Love Ain't For Keeping" played

-> day before listening to whole "Who's Next" album I had a dream with Keith, I can't remember anything from it besides that: we were talking about something, Keith was as happy as a little child can be and that he pinched my cheeks

-> I've listened to the whole "Who's Next" and two things happened: I recalled that I've heard The Who while watching CSI with mom when I was 10 years old, I shook so much after listening to the whole album that I sat curled on my chair and I heard someone say "Welcome back home"

-> few days later I've stumbled upon "Who Are You" song, recalling that this was the first song I heard by them - 10 years old tiny me, realizing that this was THE song that blew my mind when I was little because of drumming

After realizing that, I've came to conclusion that he's responsible for my love for drumming and he was the first drummer I loved, not Lars Ulrich like I always thought. Then came the documentaries I've watched, articles read and I've realized as well that my dad is a tame version of him. Then came the loneliness crushing on me and I somehow dealt with it by thinking of Keith, he became the guy to go with in my thoughts if I felt bad, the guy to listen to or to see to cheer myself up, to keep him near me just to feel better and loved (being single at the age of 25 sucks so bad) and it works!

My love towards him just got worse and worse with months, I'm usually joking that if he saw how insane I am about him he would laugh at me XD He was Moon The Loon and I'm Loon about The Moon XD

And what I see in him. Surely his playing style is the peak for me. Like, there's no better drumming, he set the bar that high since I was tiny, I'm not expecting to find anyone better, in fact I'll tell you that I had a very specific need for searching when I came into music two years ago. Discovering The Who ended that, I can listen to new bands, but I don't have the need to find a new obsession. I came back home and I'm fine with that <3

I love to see him drum. I'm always leaving The Who's concerts for specific days where I feel down or when I need to see Keith - because if not I'll go mad :D - and then the magic happens. The last time I did that I've literally played a concert at 22:00 and then screamed about how great he was to my friends, not being able to go to sleep XD I can watch him be all over his drums any time and I'll still look mesmerized at him - oh God, he was a BEAST in the last concert I've watched, I'm melting at the thought of what I've seen like how can someone drum so good?!

And if it comes to character... I see him as incredibly silly, charming, childish, happy, crazy, but there's also this side of me that sees a guy who needed a lot of care. So like I'm half seeing him as the friend and partner I would have the best fun with in my entire life (had a friend with similar character, she was the fucking best) and then there's that other half of me who wants to take care of this poor sod, those addictions of his were destroying him which concluded in 1978 in his death (20 years before I was born, can you believe that?) and you know I like to think that maybe there would be a way to save him, but like not in this life. I can do that in fic and I will, no one will stop me, I'm writing it, but like... the maybe still exists *sighs* Not in this life Mel, not in this one...

Hello, how have ya been? How did your trip ended, did you have fun?

I guess reaching to you through asks is easier than DMs, so here I am, being generally curious about where we left off the last last time, but since I am here I'll also leave a big ask:

How did it happen that Jon Lord is so important to you? When did you hear him and saw him for the first time? What's the thing in his playing and in his character that makes him be that special guy to you?

Write the longest answer you want - or a short one if it's more in your style - I'm just a curious lil mutual <3

Heyaaaaa haiiiiiii dear!!!! Thank you for these questions *rubbing hands* Finally lets hope that I can respond this time XD

Times could get better, but summer is coming and Im pretty excited in beginning uni academy next year, lets hope🙏

About my trip end, it was a bit unexpected but funny: we leaved our rented house at 10 AM but we quickly found out that all highways were clogged up, and we managed to reach home a whole day after, at 1 AM, literally praying that my mom wouldnt fall asleep while driving 🤣

Abt Jon, lets begin *cracks knuckles*

I dont remember if I have ever said this to anyone, but usually my dad, when I was little, made me watch purple lives instead of cartoons;

So, throughout my childhood and my first teenage years I had this blurred memory about the members and how they looked like; (my thoughts were like: why the drums guy is so little? Why the guitarman is so scary? Why that mans moustache are so big and silly? Why the singer looks like Jesus and has my same hair? Just pure childlike wonder lol)

And finally, around 2020, I gave them a chance by listening my dads machine head vynil and OH BOY OH BOY I was quickly captivated by their roaring and powerful sound.

My first crush was big ian but I later revalued Jon when, out of pure curiousity, I went searching for pics on pinterest and I stumbled upon this:

My brain and hormones went apeshit🤭🤭 and this sort of awakened me, I was asking myself questions like "wtf is happening to me whattt?" in pure confusion.

The rest is now history, and here I am today :]]

Apart from the obvious phisical attraction (please mind that I was still new to this world at the time🤣) What I always found fascinating about him was the crazy talent and gentle personality among the "rock people" that Ive known previously.

I consider him to be a pretty unique rock soul: no extreme drama, nor arrogance, stupidity, rudeness or immesurable ego; he was just happy to be in the scene, and had the intelligence to make himself respected and valued... I think that he did that pretty well😌.

He used MUSIC in his everyday life as the main method of expressing himself rather than using words (as an introvert I consider him as a role model for what he gifted to others and himself) and lets be frank, isnt it cool that a BIG strong 185 cm man is easily brought to tears of emotion by listening to a classical piece or spectating a good sunset or landscape? He's an 800' romantic author trapped in a motocyclist body, an unusual combination🤣🤣

And what about his music? He combined classical, popular, blues, jazz and sick improvisation in a fresh versatile style that changed rock music and organ playing forever, and would inspire generations of musicians since this very day! And lets not forget his pure classical works, full of a wide range of emotions that have helped me in various rough times.

I hope to have answered your questions my dear :)) and it wouldnt be bad if I addressed the same questions to you about keith, with you making a post about it reblogging this one, obv if you feel like doing it 🫰🏻

[gunsatthaphan]

doreen tysm for the bad buddy gifset. its unhealthy how eager i am for this series lol. 3M out of the 3.9M views on that trailer has to be me 😂 i’ve read the novel and i think i have mixed feelings that they’re deviating from it BUT IN A GOOD WAY. its kind of a double edged sword.

tw// spoilers

it has a happy ending but the book is a BIG ouch — its so sincere and realistic and really shows how queer people can get guiltripped and forced into heteronormative relationships (it actually has one of them basically get shoved into an engagement to this lady) and they spend half of their lives miserable because of familial expectations. it contains angsty bangers such as:

pat (ohm): “I don’t want to upset my parents, so I try to forget that my life is my own. I keep trying until sometimes, I’m angry that I have a heart.”.

“A child is only born to pay the debts of the parent, aren’t they?”

pran (nanon): “Its not about the age, father. Even if I’m older, I’m sure I would underestimate my feelings as a mere childhood joke. I’m sorry but I cannot control my heart.”

so yeah. that shit hurted. it genuinely was relatable and spoke to me. we NEED more stories like this :( i would love, love, loveee to see this story told well and actually in depth but knowing gmmtv and the nature of that trailer i doubt they’re aiming for such a deep social commentary, or pull it off well.

AND life is kinda stressful and i would not mind a well produced and not cringy show that’s a lighthearted rom-com with enemies to lovers. i would NAWT complain.

sorry to go off in ur asks. but the thought of us getting this series within this year is making me insane.

have a nice day!

AAAAAH ANON 😭 hard same. I shouldn't even be allowed on youtube anymore with the amount of times I've watched that trailer jkfdhgfd

I've heard so many things about the novel and now I'm starting to think maybe I should read it 😂 But then again I feel like that would give me a false impression if they're deviating from it? idk.

But anyway that sounds so good. I didn't know the story was that deep tbh lol but I love it. However I agree with you - The trailer is very lighthearted and just judging from that, it doesn't seem like they will go to that extent? On the other hand we all know it's just a mockup. So anything could happen. But either way I do think they will stick to the core parts, they just probably won't go in super deep. But if there are parts about (explicitly!) queer kids being pressured by their parents then I definitely believe they will tackle that. (Although I don't think I would want that engagement story dksfd)

But at the end of the day I really have no idea which direction it will go into. I would appreciate comedic elements but based on what you said about the novel I really do hope they add some seriousness to it and actually make use of Ohm and Nanon's acting talents bc we all know they would (and will) crush it.

xxx

[kachulein]

Dear Han Jisung,

It has reached my ears how you're feeling about yourself. In all honesty, I've feared all along you might have a low self-esteem and many insecurities despite the confident appearance you always make.

That's why I've decided to write down everything I can think of that makes you a wonderful and beautiful human being, in order to show you my unconditional love and affection, in hopes it might reach your ears and make you feel loved.

Dear Han Jisung, this is For You❤

Let me start with your appearance first. Even if you do not believe it, you're beautiful beyond measure, not just in my eyes, but in the eyes of every STAY. You know I've realized you rarely post selfies on your Instagram account and it makes me sad, thinking you might feel too insecure or bad about yourself to bless us with your pretty face.

Take a look at your eyes. I've never seen a pair of eyes that reflected so many emotions in such a strong sense and they're sparkling as if they're holding whole galaxies within them. Your eyes are truly beautiful and I could get lost in them in no time.

Solely from the look in your eyes, I can feel the emotions you are conveying.

(© gif credit @stray-kz)

But not only do your eyes contribute to your beauty, it's your whole face, your whole being, that makes you as beautiful as can be.

You have the fluffiest hair and I'd love to run my hands through it.

You have the cutest frame and I'd love to hug you.

You have the cutest nose and I'd love to boop it.

You have the cutest cheeks and I'd love to squish it.

You have the cutest smile and it's so contagious I can't help but break out into a smile myself whenever I see yours.

(© gif credit @sstraykids)

Your smile has helped me through so many hardships already. When I see your smile, it makes me feel warm on the inside. I catch myself thinking of you, wondering how you're doing and if you're taking good care of yourself. I keep wondering whether you have people surrounding you who make you feel loved and appreciated because that's what you deserve and so much more.

Your smile has made my day so many times and no matter how sad and broken I may be, your smile is so powerful that it makes me smile as well. And I'm truly thankful to you for pulling me up when I've fallen down with as much as a simple yet genuine smile.

(© gif credit @167crn)

Have you noticed how your lips always break into a heart-shaped form whenever you smile? It's as if even your smile wants to tell us STAYs how much you love us.

Your lips are beautiful and I love seeing them curve into a smile because I want to see you happy, I want to see you enjoying life because that's what you deserve.

You are so precious with the most precious smile.

I hope you will continue to bless us with your beautiful and loving smile, in hopes you'll never lose it.

(© gif credit @lovemaill)

Even though I love your appearance wholeheartedly, I must admit your personality is even more beautiful and shines brighter than all the stars in the universe combined.

At first glance, you seem like a fun person and a happy-virus, the one member that talks the most and is the loudest, the one member that never fails to draw attention to himself by being cheerful or screaming. Some may think this is an immature and silly behaviour but those people don't know what else you got up your sleeve.

You can be loud and talkative, but this includes being supportive and funny as well. You are the happiness in my life and I miss your screaming every day I don't get to hear it.

Your aegyo and your jokes are also underappreciated. In my opinion you are the cutest little bean and I honestly love your acrostic poems, they aren't just random, funny sentences, they make sense and are sweet.

Not only are you a moodmaker but you are also a very caring, helpful, kind and sweet human being.

You are always there when another member needs your help.

You are very attentive and notice when another member is struggling

You are quick to help and stay by their side

You are very empathetic and caring towards your brothers

Your whole being is just so loving and caring that I can only say, everyone needs a Han Jisung in their lives❤

Here's a gifset of you noticing Hyunjin is shivering and warming him up to visualize how much of a caring and sweet human being you are.

(© gifset credit @jeongin)

And now let's talk about your talents and your position in the music industry because you genuinely blow my mind.

You are only 18 years old and yet you've come so far and I'm so incredibly proud of you (and you should be proud, too💞).

First of all, you are an insanely talented rapper who can spit fire

Your raps are either very powerful and aggressive

or sweet and comforting, with your lyrical rap style

Not only are you a great rapper but you're also a very talented vocalist

You are able to reach high notes and your vocals are stable and either powerful or sweet and dreamy

Your voice is beautiful, so so so beautiful (and I don't want to discredit vocal line here, I just want to point out how much I love his singing voice)

You have a certain tone in your voice that makes me feel safe and happy, I could listen to you sing all day long and I'd never get tired of it.

Apart from your singing and rapping voice I also want to point out that I love your speaking voice as well.

And this might get overlooked but wow, you are such a great dancer? or is it just me?

(again, no shame to the dance line ofc)

But I'll never get bored of watching you dance

There's something about your moves that captivates my attention and it's hard for me to tear my gaze away

Your dancing is so smooth and you're doing it with such ease, I can only admire you

And as if it couldn't get any better, here you are, at 18 years, producing bops after bops with your fellow 3RACHA mates.

Apart from your incredible producing skills, you're also a very talented lyricist and you touch my heart with the lyrics you write

(© gif credit @godhanjisung)

Following up on you writing deep and comforting lyrics, I'll come to my next point, which is pointing out how mature you actually are.

Yes, your happy-virus, loud and fun-loving personality may make you seem a bit immature, though that is not the point at all. You've proven to us over and over how thoughtful, mature, serious, sincere and considerate you are.

With your 18 years of age, you are already so knowledgeable and deep, seemingly understanding the complexity of life and giving us advice on how to overcome hardships and deal with them.

Every time, you surprise me all over again with how wholesome you are and I honestly couldn't be prouder.❤

Please don't let the hate get to you. It's only a reflection of the character of those who sent it your way and not of you, yourself.

Please know, that even if you feel like you're lacking or not good enough, you are so much more than enough for the entirety of the STAY fandom.

You are a blessing to us and we don't deserve such an angel like you.

You've set your own expectations so high, to a point where you can't reach them anymore, but the thing is, you don't have to.

You are enough as you are. And nothing less.

I know, I shouldn't say someone is perfect because no human being is, but you are very close to it, my love.

Dear Han Jisung,

I love you with all my heart and I wouldn't know what I'd do without you in my life.

Thank you for being a wonderful and amazing human being.

Thank you for giving us love and stay by our side when we need you.

Thank you for existing and blessing us with your music and messages.

Thank you, simply for being YOU.

(© gif credit @godhanjisung)

[fireflyfish]

battlefront matchup anon again, i'm now very excited to read the Local Force Users Anonymous meeting fic, thank you for this hilarity

Hello again, Nony! Ask and Fishy shall deliver… some of the time… when I don’t have a season to work on… or Rex to poke. 

This ask and the insanity below was inspired by this lovely gifset. 

***

Don’t Bring a Blaster to a Lightsaber Fight

A.K.A A Weekly Meetup for Local Force Users

***

Han Solo, known scoundrel, smuggler and the only person to make the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, if you rounded down, found himself in a strange place. He had somehow ended up, of course through no fault of his own, in an industrial part of… somewhere that was wrapped in blue fog and was, for reasons unknown to him, standing in a puddle, even though he was pretty sure it hadn’t rained that day.

Walking forward, Han could see that he was not alone in the mysterious blue place with incongruous puddles and machinery that looked like it would explode if you looked at it too long.

As he walked, Han could see a row of dark-robed figures lining up in front of him, a few meters away. They stood in a line like a holo boy band and Han was going to tell them that until he realized that he was standing in front of Darth Vader, the bastard who had tortured him to lure his good friend Luke into a trap. And then cut off Luke’s hand because symbolism? Who knows but it was a bad move, Anakin. A very bad move.

Sarcastic comment now dead on his lips, Han Solo pulled out his blaster and aimed it straight at Darth Vader’s heart, ignoring the fact that the last time he had tried to shoot Darth Vader it had gone over about as well as the first time he tried to win the Falcon from Lando in a game of sabaac. Although in Han’s defense Lando cheated and I suppose one could argue that secretly having the Chosen One be the Empire’s ruthless and brutal enforcer is kind of cheating too.

But we digress.

While Vader waited next to what Han could only assume was the Emperor, flanked by some old dude posing dramatically and a guy who looked he got an awesome buy-one-get-one deal at a tattoo shop, three other people strode up towards Han. One was an attractive young woman in a quilted vest with brown hair and a lightsaber as well as a handsome gentleman with hair that could only be described as “swooshy” in white armor and his own lightsaber.

Han Solo was starting to worry that he had somehow ended up in some kind of strange Jedi street fight when his best friend Luke showed up, swinging around his new green lightsaber like he actually knew what he was doing.

Which he did. Right?

“Kid,” Han hissed to Luke, trying to keep a level and intimidating gaze as the face off continued. “Who are these people?”

Luke shrugged a little in his defensive stance. “Besides Vader and the Emperor, I’m not really sure.”

“Who are you people?” the young woman next to Han asked, looking like she was ready to go toe to toe with some seriously bad motherkriffers who probably had at least 150 years of experience on her and her awesome looking vest. She also, inexplicably, had a crisp Coruscanti accent that has never been explained to either Han or the author’s knowledge.

“I’m Luke Skywalker and this is my friend, Han Solo,” Luke said as the villians continued to stand there, looking evil, foreboding and black. These guys really liked black and red.

“You’re Han Solo?” the girl to Han’s right gasped in shocked delight. “You’re alive?!”

“Am I not supposed to be?” Han asked in reply, looking over at Luke very confused. “Is this more of your hokey Force religion, Luke?”

“Skywalker, did you say?” the really disarmingly-attractive man in the white armor asked, peering all the way around to frown at Luke. “Did I hear you correctly? Your name is Luke Skywalker?”

“Yes, that’s my name. Do I know you?” Luke replied.

“My name is Rey and… well… the last time I saw you, you were… a lot older and…” Rey frowned, still talking to Han, and looked away, as if carrying a heavy burden before cheering up. “But this is wonderful! You’re alive! The Force is amazing! I have to tell General Organa!”

“You wouldn’t happen to be related to someone named Anakin Skywalker, would you?” asked the ginger haired man with the armor and sexy accent.

“Leia is a general?” Han gaped, confused.

“That’s my father,” Luke said, also confused because there are a lot of people talking at the same time and it’s getting hard to keep track of them. “Why? Do you know him?”

“Yes, she’s leading the resistance against the First Order,” Rey explained with a stars in her eyes as she beheld her hero in his younger, sexier form. Poor girl. Your author hopes she never watches Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade because that has ruined your author for all other Harrison Ford movies.

“Know him? He’s my former padawan,” the man at the end of the line up of heroes said with a charming, toothy smile and a jaunty laugh. “I don’t know where he is at this moment but once I take care of this, I’m going to go find him and save him from whatever nonsense he’s gotten himself into.”

***

Meanwhile, a few meters away.

Darth Vader grit his teeth and vowed vengeance against the young, handsome, charming, attractive– had he always been that sexy in armor?– Obi-Wan Kenobi talking to his son like he didn’t even know that he, the fallen Anakin Skywalker, was right there. He was right there and Obi-Wan wasn’t even paying attention to him. The utter gall of that man!

How dare Obi-Wan show up now, looking so… so… hot and young and beautiful? And wasn’t he supposed to be dead? Vader was pretty sure he had killed Obi-Wan and immediately regretted it but that’s how Anakin rolls, gentle readers on the Death Star.

“Allow me to rid this galaxy of Kenobi’s infuriating presence once and for all, my master,” Vader rumbled in that terrifying voice that sounded nothing like his real voice but that’s okay because we have that traumatizing Rebels episode for that particular heartbreak.

“No,” Count Dooku intoned, his ominous voice rumbling through the area like thunder because his best buddy Gandalf helpfully volunteered to do the sound effects for this battle. “I will be the one to bring Kenobi to the Dark Side once and for all. He could be a powerful ally and it’s what Qui-Gon would have wanted.”

“If anyone is going to kill KENOBAEAUGUHGHA it is going to be me!” Maul snarled and paced around because that’s what he does when he’s being evil. He snarls, paces and says KENOBAEAUGUHGHA over and over again. Honestly, it gets kind of weird after a while.

Palpatine just covered his face with his hand and muttered to himself. “I should have killed that sexy ginger myself.”

***

“Padawan? What’s a padawan?” Luke asked because, again, he had like a weeks worth of training in the Jedi arts and the author is pretty sure Yoda had more important things to do than to go into the naming nomenclature of the Jedi order. “Wait… Obi-Wan? Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?!”

Obi-Wan gave Luke that charming, sexy grin of his and nodded. “Yes, I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luke. And you two as well, Han and Rey.”

“Uh… Hi,” Han said, waving his hand a little as Rey peered around him to gasp at Luke.

“Luke Skywalker?!” Rey almost squealed with delight because let’s be honest here, Gareth Pugh Couture Jumpsuit Jedi Knight Luke Skywalker is PEAK Luke. “I have your lightsaber! I need you to teach me how to be a Jedi!”

Han Solo took a step back while the lightsaber wielding crazies, as a wise man once called them, talked to and over each other. Or rather, while Rey and Luke tried to have a three-way conversation that Obi-Wan was occasionally roped into when someone needed to be gently corrected as to how the Force and the Jedi Order worked.

“No, we don’t mind control people like that, Rey.”

“Luke, that is nothing like what a defensive Soresu stance should look like. Who taught you that?”

“Yes, I agree, that lightsaber sounds most immature and poorly built. Who did you say made it? Kylie Ren?”

Han, being the clever and observant type, noticed that the Dark Side users, that was what Luke called them, were all glaring over at Obi-Wan and since Han wasn’t in the mood to get stabbed or lose a hand like Luke, he decided to interrupt the impromptu Light Side pow-wow. “Hey… so… Vader, I know, and I’m pretty sure that guy in the hooded robe is Emperor Palpatine but does anybody know what’s up with Grampa and Pointy over there? Are they a part of your Fist Order, Rey?”

“It’s First Order, not Fist Order and, no, I’ve never seen them before,” Rey said, frowning. “Although I have heard of Darth Vader, mostly in passing. He died on the second Death Star over Endor. Him and the Emperor.”

“There’s another Death Star?” Han and Luke groaned at the same time. And a third one too but the author did not have time to go into all of that.

“Gramps and Pointy,” Obi-Wan explained, enjoying a good chuckle at Maul’s expense like we all should, pointing to each man in turn. “Are Sith Lords. Count Dooku was my master’s master, a fallen Jedi who now goes by the name of Darth Tyranus. He tried to recruit me to the Dark Side and cut off my padawan’s arm. And Pointy is Darth Maul, who murdered my master. I cut him in half and kicked him down a plasma shaft but apparently he shook that off somehow.”

Luke gaped in horror. “You cut him in HALF and he LIVED?”

“Next time I’ll aim for his neck,” Obi-Wan shrugged.

“KENOBAEAUGUHGHA!” Maul bellowed from a few meters away where the Sith Lords were standing in place because authorial intent is stronger than the Dark Side. “At last I will have my revenge!”

“Fool,” Dooku bellowed with a dramatic flourish of his cape. “You are but a mad dog, a tool my master used to bring himself to power. Kenobi will be a great ally to the Sith once turned.”

“Silence!” Vader said in that lovely James Earl Jones bass, clenching his fist as if he could squeeze the life out of Obi-Wan like he did to Admiral Ozzel, Captain Needa and others who out of an abundance of tact the author will not name. “I am going to be the one to finally destroy Obi-Wan Kenobi and then the Jedi Order’s failures will be complete.”

Luke and Rey exchanged a glance and turned to Obi-Wan, horrified at the narrative arc of his life.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Oh, is it Tuesday again?”

Emperor Palpatine muttered to himself under his breath. “You had one job, Commander Cody. Just one! But, no! You couldn’t even do that right! Why did I even order a Clone Army? They spent most of their time getting cool-looking tattoos and painting their armor! Hell! Captain Rex was more concerned about getting airtime and being cast in Return of the Jedi than carrying out my master plan!”

Now Han Solo, for all the grief the author has given him in this story that has gone on longer than they wanted, is a smart man. One does not smuggle spice, coaxium, or whatever in the age of the Empire unless one is clever and quick on his feet and Han Solo is pretty quick on his feet.

Especially when running away from a bunch of stormtroopers on the Death Star. The author thinks he might have broken a record or something in that scene.

Anyway, Han Solo realized that a few things about the situation he found himself it.

Number one, he didn’t want to fight Vader and get his blaster stolen again.

Number two, everyone at the informal Force Users of Star Wars meetup seemed oddly obsessed with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Number three, there was a way out of this if he just played his cards right. And as Han would tell you, he is very good at cards.

Clearing his throat, Han Solo announced in a loud voice that just barely managed to pierce the din of Force users talking about Obi-Wan Kenobi. “None of you love Obi-Wan Kenobi as much as I do.”

“What?!” Vader barked, looking around for the person who dared to lay claim to the mantle of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Number One Fan and Nemesis. “Who said that?”

“Just his biggest fan,” Han Solo said again, smirking at Vader. “I even got an official certificate from the Jedi Order in here somewhere.”

“You do not!” Vader protested angrily. “I made them stop giving those out after they tried to give Ahsoka one!”

“What?!” Obi-Wan gaped, stunned. “What official certificate?”

“Nonsense! Kenobi is my life’s goal! My mission and obsession! I am his greatest fan!” Maul snarled, shoving his way forward into the crowd that was slowly starting to form not so much around Obi-Wan but more like in front of him, so that his adoring crowd could all show off how much they loved him and were willing to kill everyone in the galaxy to prove it. Because that’s healthy.

Well, Palpatine just wanted to kill Obi-Wan once and for all but even he had to admit the man was nice on the eyes.

“Maybe that’s why Commander Cody missed,” Palpatine muttered in an aside as he tried to hobble around the bickering crowd.

“Kenobi is my grandpadawan!” Dooku insisted, refusing to let the younger Sith steal away his prize. “If anyone has that right, it should be me!”

“Listen, I didn’t want to have to throw my weight around like this but I am the main character of this story,” Luke insisted, almost elbowing Maul in the face as he tried to get a word in. “And Obi-Wan did spend eighteen years on Tatooine AND I am a Skywalker so if anybody is going to be Obi-Wan’s biggest fan, I think it should be me.”

“TATOOINE?!” Vader exploded. “You were on Tatooine all this time?! You made my poor, sexy master waste away on Tatooine?!”

“Excuse me, Lord Vader,” Palpatine interjected. “But I am your master, remember?’

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Sheev,” Vader muttered, rolling his eyes behind his mask. “Listen, Luke, son, kid, I know you’re new to this whole ‘Jedi business’ but let me straighten you out. As Obi-Wan Kenobi’s former padawan learner, I get first dibs on him, okay? Me, not you, not Grumpy Grandpa over here and definitely not Rage-Face Robo-Legs over here.”

“But you’re a Sith Lord!”

“Does that look like it’s stopping any of the rest of Obi-Wan’s fanboys? Hell! I bet even Palpatine has a few sexy pictures of his from the Clone Wars.”

“I knew I never should have told you about my secret thirst tumblr, Vader!”

“See what I mean?”

While this heated battle of words, fannish desire and single minded obsession devotion continued on apace, Han Solo took his opportunity to make his escape. He was going to try to get Luke’s attention but it was clear that Luke had fallen under the sway of Kenobi and wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. Rey also looked like she wanted to elbow her way into the squabble of McQueen black robes and knee high Chanel boots but Han reached out to stop her. “C’mon, kid, we’re getting out of here.”

“But we can’t just leave them!” Rey insisted in that way that reminded Han of Leia but also Luke. He wondered if perhaps Rey was related to them somehow because it seemed like everyone was related to a Skywalker these days but quickly forgot it in the heat of the moment.

“They’ll be fine,” Han insisted, seeing a break in the blue fog encircling the nonsense he found himself in. “Besides, what are we going to do against four bad guys with lightsabers?”

Rey opened her mouth to insist that she had somehow managed to download Kylo Ren’s ability to wield a lightsaber but then she realized she would have to explain Kylo Ren to Han Solo and she just didn’t have the heart to tell him about that because your author is STILL salty about that, gentle reader. STILL SALTY. “All right let’s go. Obi-Wan? We’re leaving. Are you coming with us?”

Obi-Wan was leaning against a pile of old rubble, watching the Luke and the Sith Lords squabble over him. He looked over at Rey and Han, waving them off. “Oh, no, thank you, my dear. I’m quite used to this by now. I’m sure Ahsoka and Captain Rex will be along in a minute to pick me and Luke up. You two go on and may the Force be with you both.”

Rey looked at Han Solo, who shrugged, and with that they both ran for the fog.

“That isn’t even your real voice, Skywalker! How can you truly do credit to the name of KENOBAEAUGUHGHA if you have to rely on James Earl Jones to sound intimidating?”

“What are you even saying? That sounds nothing like my grandpadawan’s name! It must be said with deep, solemn and regretful feeling. You have to project. Like this. Kenobi.”

“Why are all my apprentices obsessed with this Kenobi? He’s not even that attractive. Now Qui-Gon Jinn? That was a man!”

Obi-Wan groaned and buried his face in his hands.

Yup, this was just another Tuesday.