#I keep forgetting about gnomes

[dunmeshistash]

I noticed you had no tag for Holm content in Kabru's party tags, which I get, no shade. (Unless I missed it, idk?) But now I have to ask, do you have any pictures or mini comics with Holm in them? It's pretty hard for me to find content of my lil gnome guy. Also, I love your blog so much, it makes it so easy to find content about the manga, the bible or daydream hour and I love that! Apologies for the little rant.

OH THAT'S EMBARRASSING, added it to the tag list

There's a few in there but my favorite might be "Kabru did you fuck my sister" extra

[talekinesis]

Random Gravity Falls Headcanons

Stan

This guy smokes to help deal with the stress of everything. He picked up the habit after he was kicked out by his father and hasn't quit since. He used to be a chainsmoker but after getting to look after the kids for the summer, he drastically cut back and is actually thinking of quitting altogether because he wants to be around long enough to watch Mabel and Dipper grow up

Actually a pretty decent cook, it's just baking he sucks at. With cooking you can sort of eyeball the ingredients and add more or less depending on your own personal taste, but with how strict baking is with its ingredients, he never really picked it up. He's only baked a cake twice in his life, once for his mom when he was a kid, with the help of Ford, and once for the kids' birthday (it was lopsided and runny and they decided to just go out for pancakes instead)

He can play the guitar really well. He had to teach himself how to play when he was young and homeless, playing for tips. He still has his original guitar and occasionally, on a good day, will get it out and play it. He played it once for Mabel, who, for once in her life, actually sat still and listened

Part of his daily routine is kicking gnomes out of the trash because they keep trying to eat leftovers. He just bats them off with a broom like they're raccoons

He grew up a huge mama's boy since she was the only supportive parent he had. After he got kicked out of the house, he called her from a pay phone a couple times to ask to come back home and to wish her a happy birthday. To this day he still makes it a point to get a cupcake on her birthday since he can't celebrate it with her, and sometimes he'll tell the kids stories about her, like how she would have loved Mabel since Mabel has all these different unique sweaters, and his ma used to collect different, big, unique earrings

Stan coaches Mabel in boxing, and actually helped her discover a passion for it, he attends all of her matches. He even taught her a couple illegal moves that she can't use in the ring but can use in real self defense

Even in his early 60s, he still thinks it's funny to bother Ford as if they were still kids. He'll randomly snatch his glasses off his face (forgetting that he also wears glasses and Ford can retaliate), he'll just start copying Ford and repeat what he says, he once even dressed up as Ford, but it didn't last very long because Ford wears a much smaller size of pants, and Stan has a bit of a gut on him. He changed after about five or ten minutes.

He's a die-hard fan of Chappell Roan

He's actually the more responsible of the Stan-Twins. He breaks laws sure, but he always makes sure everyone is fed and safe. He's like this close 🤏 to putting Ford and Mabel on leashes when they go out because they have a tendency to run off

"I'd like to make an announcement to the store, I lost someone." "Oh, did your kid run off?" "My 60 year old brother, yeah. No he doesn't have a cellphone."

Has a biological kid out there somewhere but the mom cut him off. I just think the scene where he said, "Scary movies are great, the girl cuddles up next to ya... next thing you know you gotta raise a kid.. And your life falls apart.." sounded too much like he was speaking from experience and not as a hypothetical. He wants so badly to be a dad though and regrets not keeping contact. (let me know if I should make an oc for this :] )

Ford

He can't eat doritos or any triangle shaped chip because one time Bill hid inside a chip bag just to startle him

It took him a while to adjust to this dimension's laws of physics. He was frustrated for a while that he couldn't just leave his coffee floating in the air. He broke three mugs and one of them was Stan's.

Despises pickles as if he held a personal grudge against them. He hates them an irrational amount, and even gets irritated with Stan for just having them in the house. He acts like a child about it too, arms crossed and everything. "Here, Poindexter, you want me to take the pickles off your sandwich? Like a child?" "Don't bother, the meal's ruined >:( "

He gets sucked into those soap operas that Stan watches, and will sometimes watch from the doorway or over his shoulder. He won't admit it, but Stan knows.

He lights his face on fire because he saw someone else do it in a different dimension where that was normal

Unlike Stan, he's actually amazing at baking (he likes to follow precise measurements and instructions) But sucks at cooking. Caught a pot of water on fire.

When he first discovered the shape shifter, he kept it as a pet because he found it cute, but ended up letting it go when he found out it had a human-like sentience and could speak. But for a while he raised it the same way Mabel raises Waddles, putting it in little shirts, hats, and just absolutely adoring it

Used to play 'Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons' with a group in college as the DM, and it was the first time he actually had a friend group. The other players loved the way he set things up

Doesn't like alchohol. At least from this dimension, he got used to alternate dimension alchohols that tasted way better, so when he came back to Earth everything tasted way too strong and almost like dirt to him so he just quit

Used to know a little banjo since Fiddleford taught him but forgot it while in other dimensions

Used to babysit Tate on occasion and sucked at it

He also used to babysit Shermie and *also* sucked at it. He'd have to pass him off to Stan if he got fussy or started crying since only Stan and their mom could calm him down

• Used to play David Bowie in his lab and would occasionally lip sync or dance to it. Even when traveling dimensions, he'd introduce David Bowie music to the people, creatures, and beings he met, until he lost the cassette tape and was devastated

Mabel

Allergic to chocolate and makes up for it by eating way too much of other candies. She still tries to eat it though because "Maybe I'm not allergic anymore," but Dipper has to stop her. Stan even makes it a point not to keep chocolate in the Shack when they visit because he knows Mabel is a heathen with little self preservation. It's not epi-pen bad, but it will burn and itch her throat and get her coughing (Ford will use chocolate substitutes when baking for her and Dipper)

She likes to tell people that she and Dipper were originally two of three, and that she ate their triplet in the womb to become stronger. This is not true.

She wants to be a big sister really bad and sometimes that comes out onto Dipper despite him only being 5 minutes younger, much to his dismay and protest

She found a passion for boxing after Stan taught her how, and even asked her parents to let her start doing it as a sport, which she got really into. Coincidentally, after she picked up boxing, Gideon suddenly left her alone completely. Future Headcanon: She grows up to box professionally and one day even faces Grenda in the ring, but there's obviously a mutual respect between them. They agreed ahead of time that if they ever had to face each other, neither of them would hold back and it would be a fair match. Even after there's a winner, they meet up afterward and go out for dinner with Candy, who posts their matches to social media. Waddles is her mascot.

Mabel makes even more friends when she returns home from Gravity Falls because she takes Waddles for walks on a leash and it's a pretty good conversation starter

She is convinced that if she eats all the ingredients for a cake, she'll have successfully made a cake in her stomach. Once again, Dipper has to physically stop her from doing this. Ford does too, the first time he heard her say this (through a mouthful of flour) he went, "That certainly is an interesting theory, Mabel, but no-"

Dipper

Let's get it out of the way, I really like the 'Trans Dipper' headcanon. It just fits really well and I, as a trans person, can relate to him a lot

I think he knows how to dance a little because his mom taught him and used to take him to 'Mother-Son' events

He secretly keeps a tally of how many times Mabel rolls herself out of bed because it always wakes him up but he also kind of thinks it's funny because she just sleeps through it. Even if they don't share rooms back at home, he can always here the distance "thunk" of his sister hitting the floor. The tally isn't a sheet of paper, it's a small notebook with multiple pages filled in

He sometimes gets the courage to try and roughhouse with Stan, who is always on board but purposely takes it easy on the kid because he's like "baby bird" fragile

Dipper was the one to break the news to his Grandpa Shermie that Stanley was still alive and Stanford was actually missing for 30 years with Stan taking his place, almost giving the poor man a heart attack. (Shermie ended up booking a flight to Gravity Falls to yell at his brothers in person because that's not a conversation you can have over the phone)

Dipper was the one to introduce Stan to Chappell Roan by accident, but now they listen to her if they're in the car together

his DD&MD character is a female orc fighter named Yotula and he got very excited to info-dump about her to Ford (who was equally as excited to listen)

Has an odd addiction to chocolate milk. He makes a glass of chocolate milk at least once a day. Twice if it's been a rough day. He actually gets a little upset if he misses his daily cup of chocolate milk, its just routine. Stan one time made an offhand joke that since Mabel's allergic, Dipper has to consume twice as much for the both of them, but Mabel took that seriously and now to her its just the truth.

[imaloregremlin]

something I think people often forget about Shrub Berry is that she is not defenseless. I cannot count the number of fanfics I’ve read where she’s a scared, traumatized, terrified gnome who’s seperated from her people and is almost entirely helpless. This is a crucial part of her character, but she’s also so, so brave. Take episode 17 of Empires (Xornoth showed me the future of our empires!) Shrub is continuing her daily life in the midst of this incredibly traumatic experience. She is farming, watering her flowers, and mining, even as the threat of Corruption grows ever-closer. When Xornoth appears, she starts to run away, before realizing that’s exactly what they want. She starts fighting back, insulting Xornoth, and telling him to stop Corrupting the empires, arguing for him to let Joey She keeps them talking, even now, trying to probe for weaknesses. She defends herself and her wolves, in the midst of tragedy and death. She keeps going. It takes so much courage to keep going after your life has been ripped to pieces, it would be so much easier to just let the Corruption win. To lie down and let Xornoth kill her, have her body overrun with Corruption, to join the rest of her people, but Shrub. Keeps. Going. she fights back in any way she can, and she tries to bite back against the darkness, a cornered wolf, the last of her species, and the bravest little beacon of hope in my life when I was fighting my own demons and reminding me that bad doesn’t always have to win, bullies don’t always triumph, people can fight back and make a difference. Shubble literally kept me going when I wanted to just…give up fighting because of how bullied I was in school about three years ago. I know it’s a silly Minecraft smp, I know it was never meant to be so deep, but Shrub Berry literally saved my life. Thank you.

[mayese]

A swim in the lake

Fred Weasley x insecure!reader

Synopsis: You don’t have the courage to enter that lake and join your friends because you’re too damn scared about what others may think about you in your swimsuit. Especially him.

“Are you afraid of the water or something?”

“Yes.” Lied like a professional.

Note: with the swimsuit time on right now and that hot sun, I feel like this is more of a self inserting fanfic than anything hahahaha. Still, I hope you like it, but be reminded that you’re stunning and absolutely beautiful <3 Rock that swimsuit random stranger!! 🐠

——————————————————————

It was a hot afternoon, and everyone has been sweating like pigs, wishing more than ever for the summer break to go home and stay still near a pool of a lake or whatever took the heat away. However, weeks still barreled between school and summer vacations, so Fred’s idea got everyone on the dark lake, near the shore for safety.

Everyone was there from your group of friends, enjoying themselves while splashing water around, laughing and swimming. All while you sat on the green grass, trying to focus on the letters you wrote on your essay under the heat, even if you were protected by a light cast of shadow from the large tree behind you.

Yes, you had to finish that essay as quickly as possible, being due the next day. But part of you knew that the reason you took the supplies with you was because you did not want to get on the water, to show everyone your exposed body. In short, you did not feel comfortable on your own skin, and that’s a problem even when you’re alone looking at a mirror, sitting or even standing. Whatever you do, some part of your brain always likes to tell you how bad you look every time you’re doing something.

And the biggest reason as to why you did not take your clothes of, even if you’re swimsuit awaited to be wet underneath your clothes, was because Fred was there. You liked him from a very and shameful long time, but you knew the feelings were not mutual, obviously. You were never his type, recalling every girl he’s had something with. And it made you sick sometimes, thinking you would never have a chance with him. But maybe it was for the best, given the fact that you would not trade his friendship for anything else on the world.

Still, you would be scarred if you caught him looking down at you if you tried to jump on the water too. What if he looked at you with a nasty glare? Wondering why the hell you took of your clothes, knowing what was underneath.

So, sat you were. You looked up sometimes, forgetting momentarily about the history of gnomes and catching glimpses of some fights or pushes that led to laughs and jokes. However, unbeknown to you, someone made his way to the tree you were using for protection against the sun once your eyes focused on the paper again, marching his way until he plopped near you, against the same tree, and smiling brightly.

“Hello,” Fred says beaming, and his smile is so shiny you think you could mistake him with the sun. However, you feel your cheeks flush once you realize he’s naked from his waist up, his torso well exposed.

You felt like a trapped fool, trying not to look down at all costs.

Just keep focused on his eyes!

You thought, but it was a hard task. Still, you did your best, smiling back at him and dropping the quill on the grass gently. “Shouldn’t you be swimming away from this heat?” You say with a light chuckle, and his eyes crinkle once again when he smiled.

“Yeah, but it’s no fun without you there,” he whines with a wink. Perhaps phrases like these, said by the most charming ginger you’ve ever laid eyes upon, were guilty for making you fall for Fred. And he just smiled again, that damned smile that seemed to never leave his face every time you looked at him, wherever.

You shook those thoughts away, snorting like it was some kind of joke. “I’m right here! Besides, there’s plenty of people there for you to demonize,” you told him with a smirk, but he shrugged, his naked shoulders rising and falling in an instant.

Focus, please.

“You know you’re my favorite person to demonize, right? I thought I had made that abundantly clear.” He looked at you quizzically, almost daring you to recall every inoffensive prank he’s pulled on you, which seemed to occur every now and then.

You just laughed it off, taking your eyes off of his, but still feeling his on you. Once again, your heavy crush making you delusional just like always. Now that you were both silenced you thought he would rise up, bid you his farewell for the next hour before you would all retreat inside of the castle again. But he kept himself on his spot next to you, so close you could feel his arm resting next to yours, his bared leg touching your jeans.

“Why don’t you join us?” You looked at him again slowly, realizing that maybe he really did kept looking at you these past long seconds. And you try to search for an adequate answer, scavenging for something believable and not the truth.

Well, because I know everyone would judge me. But even worse, I can’t stand the thought of you looking at me when I’m so naked.

Should you just throw it all out? That would be weird. Of course it would. “I… I just don’t feel like it,” you said, not explaining further as he raised an eyebrow.

“Daphne told me you said to her that you would give everything to swim at lunch.” Why would he even know that? And why would Daphne tell him something you said amongst the thousands of things you’re always discussing with her? And why the hell would he even want to know that?

“Right. But right now, I don’t feel like it. That’s it.” He did not seem convinced, itching to make you go with him to the lake and join everyone.

You kept looking at him, hoping he would forget about it. He deviates his gaze from you, looking down at the grass beneath him, plucking some of them while you watched the water drip from his hair, which was wet but yet seemed to be more dry than it was some moments before.

“It’s been like, five times?” Fred asked, still looking down and plucking the green from the ground. “Not once did you go in with us,” he said, finally looking up at you again, smiling softly. “Are you afraid of the water or something?” His tone was gentile, and his words were heavy with curiosity.

But you were not having it. You were not explaining why you did not feel comfortable without something covering your body to the boy who makes you want to do backflips every time he speaks to you.

“Yes.”

Your quick answer seemed to answer his doubt. His smile kept being gentle, the droplets kept falling from his hair, his shoulders kept being naked and you kept thinking there was no chance he would know what really kept you away from the water and all the fun.

“Alright, that’s fair.” He chuckled, his eyes wrinkling again before he looked ahead to the lake as you kept looking at him. “I just feel like I should say one last thing before I can return there to push George to the bottom of this lake,” Fred said, looking at you again with those vivid brown eyes, leaning totally on the tree with his back.

You were leaning on the tree too, smiling at him, mostly because you felt lucky, being able to admire him this close, his fainting yet many freckles tainting his rosy cheeks while some of his hair was sticking on his forehead. “What?”

Suddenly, you felt something in your hand, the one on your lap, on top of the papers you were writing on. His hand was colder than yours, perhaps blame of the cold water he was swimming on before, but still, you felt like your hand couldn’t feel more hot.

Your eyes darted quickly to the scene before meeting his eyes again, your smile and peaceful expression being changed by confusion. But instead of a frown, something you would expect him to do if someday you decided to hold his hands out of nowhere - even if he was the one grabbing your hand right now - you were met with a smile. And Fred looked almost as shy as you assumed you’d be too, your cheeks inflaming.

“I think you’re very beautiful. And…” He paused, smiling like a fool to you and to himself, looking in your eyes and searching for something more. “I really like you, everything about you. And I hope you know that,” Fred says, squeezing your hand softly, and you felt petrified, in a good way if that could happen.

Your belly was aching, your heart was racing and your mind was trying to save Fred’s words forever. Basically, you were numb, trying to figure out if this was really happening.

But still, with his hand in yours, his eyes so begging for something, you still had trouble admiring that perhaps your crush of years was confessing to you. It was delirious.

You cracked an awkward but yet sweet smile that to him reminded the sun, softly squeezing his hand with a chuckle. “Thanks, Fred,” you said shyly.

Without letting go of your hand, Fred stands up, leaning over you as if waiting for you to also stand up while your hands remained clasped. You beamed again, feeling your cheeks burn as your mind fried. You gently took the paper and your quill out of your lap and onto the weed before standing up next to Fred.

“I just- I need to take off my clothes…” Fred nodded, finally letting go of your hand that now felt emptier before looking around as you awkwardly took off your jeans and your t-shirt, now with a swimsuit you never used.

You breathed deeply before clearing your throat, smiling and trying to forget about your exposed body. “Well, are we going to swim or not?” You asked as Fred looked at you again. And for a moment, you thought he would laugh at you, tell you how bad you look. Or maybe he would just frown, disgusted.

But that’s not Fred. And you should not think your friend would do that. “Damn right we are,” he practically shouts before taking your hand and dragging you as you ran towards the water while you two laughed.

That afternoon you felt at peace, swimming amongst your friends and feeling less hot, away from the scorching sun. But the best was the way Fred smiled at you throughout the entire time, always keeping himself close to you while still finding a way to put everyone down on the water, finding especially amusing the way his brother despised being pushed into the water.

Later, once all of you were going inside the castle again, Fred remained behind with you while your friends chattered away a few meters ahead. And the conversation you had with him near that tree was plaguing your mind as you tried to figure out if he really meant everything he said.

Looking up at him while you both walked, you stopped, and he did too as he glanced your way. “Do you really meant what you said earlier?” You asked, not knowing where the confidence had come from. But you’re glad it showed up, because Fred approached you, smiling.

“Of course I did,” he told you, putting one of your loose strands of hair behind your ear, making you blush like a madman. “And I want you to know that I mean it, seriously. So, do you want to go to Hogsmead with me Sunday?”

You raised your brows in shock, stuttering. “Like a-“

“Date.” Fred beamed, now taking your hand. “I’ve been wanting to ask you forever,” he admits, now more bashfully. “What do you say?” He smiled coyly, making your insides turn into mush as your head spun around.

What would I say?!

“Yes!”

[chuckeroo777]

Laios got Eaten AU Chapters 53-85

Chapters 1-52 <- Be sure to read part 1. Falin being alive does cause some ripple effects which will continue in this part.

Welcome back! Today we continue where the anime cut off. We'll be going all the way to right before the final confrontation. (Mainly because I haven't figured out how to resolve that yet. I might do two versions, a good end, and a bad end.)

Let's get going! Massive spoiler warning for canon, if it wasn't obvious.

Chapter 53-54:

Same as canon.

Chapter 55:

Everything is mostly the same except Laios shows up instead of Falin. When escaping, Laios is much less gentle with Thistle.

Falin gets turned into a gnome by the giant changling. She is quite smitten by ogre Marcille, though she tries to hide it.

While Seshi and Chilchuck prepare the burgers, Falin assists with the ointment. With her healing expertise, it turns out even better, and she prevents Senshi from using it to cook.

Chapter 56:

Chilchuck has been noticeably grumpier than usual. Not only has Marcille been bugging him about his wife, but the tension between Marcille and Falin is really getting on his nerves. As before, he claims to have cheated to shut her up.

They spot the bicorn and Falin looks it up in the guide. They come up with the plan to be sinful.

When doing envy, Marcille can't help but be annoyed how Chilchuck has been giving her and Falin such judgemental looks, but then he goes and flirts with Senshi.

Without Laios, greed is a little tricky. Falin yoinks Ambrosia, and plays keep-away for a bit. She's giggling so much, she nearly forgets about the bicorn.

Then Lust gets brought up. Chilchuck and Izutsumi stare at Falin and Marcille, but before they can defend themselves, Senshi points out that it isn't lust when it's between two people who respect each other. Marcille then tentatively suggests that maybe Chilchuck's infidelity counts.

After Chilchuck gets attacked, Falin and Senshi rush into action. Falin can't body check it, but a mace to the face has the same effect. They manage to restrain it, then Senshi beheads it.

Falin is very impressed by Marcille's romantic acumen. Chilchuck is mostly left wondering why the romance expert is having such trouble admitting her feelings.

Chapter 57:

The dullahan is a type of ghost, so Falin has no trouble warding it off.

Much to Marcille's chagrin, Senshi decides to start with the head, since those parts don't preserve as well as the muscle.

Chapter 58-59:

When Senshi is discovered, it's Chilchuck who fills the party in about succubi. Unlike Laios, Falin doesn't rush off to grab milk, but she does start sweating profusely.

Thanks to there being three of them conscious in the room, they last a bit longer against the succubi, but when a succubus appears targeting Falin, things quickly break down.

Falin's succubus... is Marcille. But not merely Marcille. Due to a rather lonely childhood, Falin has a few fetishes she had been repressing. The succubus reflecting them for all to see. If she hadn't had her life force drained, she would probably have fainted from the shame and embarrassment.

Izutsumi saves the day, and everyone slowly recovers.

Marcille and Falin are mortified, and can barely even look at each other. Chilchuck finally reaches his breaking point and demands that the two of them talk about their feelings instead of continuing to bottle them up.

They end up having a heartwarming conversation where they confess their feelings. Marcille confesses that she always felt caring and protective of Falin, but the strangely fluctuating age gap made her way too uncomfortable to admit she was developing romantic feelings. But now that they are both adults, she wants to give this a try. Falin confesses that she always admired Marcille and wanted to get closer, but Marcille kept (unintentionally) rejecting her advances, so she just assumed she wasn't into her, which is why she stopped trying. Falin is so glad she was wrong. The two share a loving hug.

Chilchuck is happy for them to finally have these feelings out in the open, and they don't seem to be the sort that used to cause issues in his old groups. However, as the resident dad, he puts his foot down and insists that until this adventure is over, no sleeping together.

Speaking of sleeping together, that reminds Marcille of the dream she had while unconscious.

Chapter 60:

Marcille's dream with the Lion is similar to Laios', but with a few key differences.

Instead of appealing to Laios' care for the monsters and environment, the lion talks about how it IS the power of the dungeon. The power that the ancients discovered and misused. The very power that Marcille has desperately been looking for.

This is all very tempting for her, but she's still uncertain about becoming queen of the golden country, so the lion creates the hypothetical dream.

Marcille 'wakes' to find herself in bed with Falin. After changing out of their pajamas, they explore with the lion. Marcille's kingdom is a place where all the races are treated equally, with magic prolonging their lives to match hers.

She has also incorporated her ideas about a 'safe dungeon', expanding on the golden country's monster domestication to allow the harvesting of all sorts of useful things. Laios is in charge of this program.

Overall, it's all very nice and reasonable. As the audience, we know the lion will actually convince her to try and envelop the world, but for now the scope is realistic.

Marcille doesn't remember most of the dream, but relates that the lion is watching them through Falin's pearlipede. She talks a little about the 'safe dungeon' stuff, but keeps the whole age equalization thing close to her chest. And of course, beware the canaries.

Chapter 61:

Mostly the same, though Kabru's reaction to having to eat monsters is a little less severe. He hates it, but Falin and her group seemed sane enough. He isn't worried about going insane like Laios, he's just severely repulsed by it.

Kabru's nightmare is about the Laigon, stalking and hunting him down before eating him whole. Somehow, despite the massive changes, Kabru still manages to be disgusted yet intrigued about Laios.

Chapter 62:

The first half is identical, with Mithrun's story.

But when they start talking about Falin, that's when they get a bit confused. Despite Kabu's skill, he couldn't get a good read on Falin's desires. She is friendly and kind and thinks monsters are neat, but he's really unsure what would happen if she became lord of the dungeon. The only strong desire Kabru could identify was her unyielding determination to save her brother.

Mithrun begins to suspect that Falin isn't the one the demon is targeting, but unfortunately, Kabru doesn't know enough about the rest of the party to deduce who it could be.

Once the bell goes off, Kabru isn't worried about Falin, but with the demon involved, and so many unknown variables, he decides to go after them.

Chapter 63:

Falin's pearlipede leads them to Thistle's house, and they cautiously make their way in after shooting the bird.

The phoenix proves difficult, but Falin's flame wards buy them enough time to realize it's keeping its distance from the table with the bodies. They manage to weaponize Yaad and defeat and eat the bird.

Chapter 64-65:

Marcille wrenches open the book and they meet the lion. They begin thinking of a way to take down the Laigon.

Falin points out that if the Laigon is hanging out with Thistle, then it hasn't been sleeping or hunting, so her brother is probably really hungry. Senshi points out that flight is very energetically demanding too, and his mouth is real small.

They quickly get to work. The rest of this chapter and chapter 65 are skipped, since they still have plenty of bicorn meat. Notably, due to the Laigon being able to fly, they will arrive quicker, but the gang doesn't need to hunt, so it works out.

Chapter 66:

Between his panicking and self-harm, Thistle takes a bit longer to figure out what to do, since the Laigon doesn't comfort him like the Faligon did.

Chapter 67:

As they watch Thistle and the Laigon arrive, Falin is having second thoughts. Seeing him again is making her think about the plan to eat the dragon parts later. After all, isn't this exactly what Laios always wanted? But can he even survive on the surface like that? What if they save and restore him... and he's furious with her for ruining his dream.

The Laigon takes the bait and excitedly (and messily) devours the bicorn curry and rice. He then curls up and goes to sleep.

Unlike Laios, Falin doesn't consider that the chimera might have more than one brain. Tears in her eyes, she carefully approaches, and swings her mace-staff with all her might.

Falin breaks down crying. Marcille sees the results, and heals Laios' fractured head without reviving him. Now he's just sleeping. After a group hug to comfort her, Falin redoubles her determination, and they go to confront Thistle.

Chapter 68:

Identical, other than some slight name-drop changes.

Chapter 69:

Marcille has long term plans for being dungeon lord, but for now they plan to just use it to help Laios.

Falin isn't surprised to hear that Marcille is a half-elf. She suspected for a while. However, Thistle's callous taunting quickly pisses her off, and when he mentions the sterility, he nearly falls over as a stone spike erupts through the table and nearly impales him.

Infuriated, Thistle warps the room and unleashes the dragons.

The rest of the chapter plays out the same, with everyone getting separated. Falin escapes to the shelf, but everyone else gets got.

Chapter 70:

As the dragons begin fighting each other, Falin hides behind some bowls and starts chanting something while keeping an eye on Thistle.

Once he is distracted shouting orders at the dragons, she takes careful aim with her staff, and unleashes her spell, teleporting right behind Thistle, and disarming him. She may not be as burly as Laios, but Falin is a tough girl, and is easily able to overpower the elf twink.

Chapter 71:

She ties him up to her back and starts retrieving everyone's bodies.

Thistle cries fraud, and Falin explains that teleportation is actually a fairly recent invention. No wonder Thistle was terrified of Mithrun. This is the sort of magic not even the ancients were aware of.

Falin is still furious at Thistle, but decides to make a deal with him. He may choose. Either she kills him, and the party does as they please, or he may dispel the dragons and restore the room, and remain as their prisoner. If he does this, he has her word that they will do nothing to harm the people of the golden country.

Chapter 72:

Thistle, terrified what they may do to his people (An empty implied threat, but Thistle doesn't know that), reluctantly agrees. She lets him have his book just long enough to dispel his magic (Under threat that she'll teleport a rock into his head if he doesn't return it right away. Another empty threat), then she ties him up again, using proper rope, so he can't even move.

Falin revives the rest of the party. Marcille is very distraught that she died, and hugs Falin tightly. They are all very impressed that Falin managed to pull it off.

The lion is miffed that it can't feed on Thistle's desires while its current marks are watching. To make matters worse, Marcille is in no hurry to unseal the book, slamming it shut so she can rest after being revived.

Marcille and Falin talk about half-elves while Isutsumi and Chilchuck go grab drinks. Thistle continues to seethe.

Senshi prepares the tiny green dragon. He doesn't have the plant nectar, but it still turns out great. They feed some to the tied up Thistle. He reluctantly admits it's pretty good.

The gang take shifts over the night to watch the prisoner. As a curse of immortality person, Thistle doesn't need to sleep.

Chapter 73-74:

Marcille wakes up with a massive hangover. For a moment, she conflates a dream she had with last night, and panics that her first 'time' with Falin wasn't in her right mind.

Kabru arrives with the canaries. No one knows about Marcille's black magic, and Falin is pretty reasonable, so Kabru is optimistic about this meeting between them and the canaries.

Izutsumi and Marcille hide upstairs, Senshi prepares tea stuff, and Thistle sits in the corner, still seething.

Negotiations... go shockingly well! The canaries are impressed they were able to capture Thistle alive, and after a little questioning, it's clear Falin hasn't fallen under the dungeon's spell. They are a little grossed out by the bavarois, but most adventurers are a little weird.

When Falin mentions the lion, Kabru asks for permission to explain the danger. After all, the reason demon discussion is banned is to hide the existence of wish granting, and they already know about that part.

With Chilchuck and Kabru's help, Falin ends up coming to a very satisfactory deal with the elves. They will hand over Thistle and the books, on the condition that the canaries' forces provide all the assistance they can in preserving, transporting, and eating Laios. Falin is even able to cite the phoenix as evidence that this plan is viable.

Falin and Pattadol shake on it, and everyone is excited that the danger has passed.

Unfortunately, this premature happy ending is disrupted by something everyone forgot about.

Falin's pearlipede is privy to this entire conversation. And so is the lion. It manages to pop out of the unsealed half, and warns Marcille about the canaries, fueling her fear, and when Mithrun breaks into her room as the negotiations are being finalized, Marcille panics and unseals the lion.

Chapter 75:

Chaos erupts in the house as no one is quite sure what is going on. The canaries rush upstairs to help Mithrun, but they fail to stop Marcille before she declares her lordship.

The canaries are attacked by giant spiders while Marcille absconds. She vanishes before Falin or the others can see her. Falin's party heads upstairs to find Marcille, but only find dead spiders and wrapped up elves.

Chapter 76:

They help Lycion and Kabru carry everyone outside, including Thistle. Lycion fills Falin in on what happened upstairs and she is mortified. They leave Thistle with them, and head out into the remixed dungeon to try and find Marcille and talk her down.

Chapter 77-78:

Everyone receives word that Falin has taken down the lord of the dungeon.

When the chaos starts to unfold, Flamela receives an update from Lycion. Negotiations had been going well with Falin, but a member of her party went rogue, and is now the lord.

With Falin's party confirmed to be working to stop Marcille, the canaries do not attack them, instead focusing on finding Marcille.

Worried that the elves will kill Marcille, Namari, Toshiro, and the Orcs head out to try and find Marcille or Falin first.

Chapter 79-80:

Marcille has approximately 25% less longing in her eyes as she stares at Laios frozen in ice.

Not being in quite the same rush as canon, they don't accidentally fall in the water, instead running down the stairs.

They find the mushrooms and retrieve their stuff. The familiars are disconcerting, but at least they are ostensibly on their side.

They attempt to head in the direction the mushrooms were heading, but don't get far before hitting a dead end. As they try to figure out what to do, a massive flying snake pounces and gobbles them up.

The party panics as the long thin chamber begins to slowly fill with fluid. With the mouth clamped shut, they decide to run as far back as they can. Falin is pretty sure intestines don't have acid, right?

After a harrowing few minutes, they are pooped out in Marcille's front yard.

After reuniting and bathing, Falin tells Marcille about their deal with the canaries, and implores Marcille to reconsider.

Marcille refuses and reveals her dream. Falin doesn't laugh at her, but is concerned. She remembers how miserable the people of the golden country were. Surely the dungeon's power can only extend lives through that same curse.

Notably, due to not eating Thistle, the lion is still in its quadrupedal form. The lion does its best to convince Falin and the others, but after what Kabru told them about the demon, it rings pretty hollow.

Falin refuses to help the demon, not wanting Marcille to become another Thistle.

Marcille is upset, and decides she can make her dream come true by herself. She has the gang confined to the kitchen. She'll do it herself, and they'll see how lovely her dream is later.

Chapter 81:

Falin has no idea what kind of monster Donato is.

Operation Hometown Cuisine proceeds as normal, though Falin doesn't have the realization about Marcille's fears, since she didn't pry into her nightmare.

After failing her persuasion roll on Marcille, Falin gets fed up and grabs Donato's hand, then teleports the doppelganger out of the tree.

Chapter 82:

Identical.

Chapter 83:

Mostly the same. Kabru isn't a prisoner. While the canaries prepare to fight the monster army, they have Kabru escort Thistle to the entrance. Thistle is mostly just resigned at this point. He spots the golden country as part of the new patchwork dungeon, and notices it is off in the corner away from the action. At least Marcille isn't putting them in danger.

Kabru meets up with Toshiro, Namari, and the orcs.

Chapter 84:

Ofc Falin also comes up with the mushroom disguises. Toshiro isn't sure how to feel seeing Falin dressed as a big dumb shroom.

Falin frantically explains how she's pretty sure the lion had been grooming Marcille to be the lord the whole time. That's why she's so out of control.

Lycion explains that when things get this bad, the only solution is to kill the dungeon lord. Thistle calls bullshit. He lost the position without being killed. Lycion clarifies that as long as the demon supports them, there is no other solution.

So Falin proposes they deal with the demon itself.

Lycion shoots that down too. As everyone heads out to fight the monsters, Falin is left despondent.

At Marcille's behest, the lion possesses the pearlipede, engulfing her arm, and speaks to Falin. It tries to convince her to join Marcille. After all, don't they love each other? Chilchuck retorts that if you really love someone, both sides have to be willing to compromise.

The lion tries another tactic. It asks about their favorite foods. Falin's favorite food is ice cream, particularly a swirl of orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream. (If she had been given the chance, she would have discovered exorcism sorbet to be her favorite.)

Unlike Laios, who realizes the lion's weakness in this fight, Falin is just left feeling even more hopeless. But ultimately, she decides to head for Marcille, not knowing what else to do.

Chapter 85:

Falin is quite delighted to see Laios, and is sure it means Marcille isn't too far gone.

Things proceed mostly the same, except Falin again poofs the doppelgangers away. As the party keeps climbing towards Marcille, Falin throws out the armor piercing questions. If Marcille is so callous to create fake versions of her parents, why not just create fake versions of her friends that agree with her dream.

Because a fake isn't the real thing. And what Falin wants is Marcille. The real Marcille.

Marcille starts to break down, admitting that the whole reason she's doing this is because she can't stand the thought of losing Falin and the rest of her friends.

Falin gently embraces Marcille, and explains. If Marcille spends all her time worrying about when their time together will end, then they won't get to enjoy the time they do have together. As they look deep into each other's eyes, Marcille's eyes swimming with tears, she leans forward and-

Senshi ruins the moment by explaining that they already know how to live longer healthier lives. A BALANCED DIET! A HEALTHY CIRCADIAN RHYTHM! AND MODERATE EXERCISE.

The moment is ruined, but it's okay. Marcille clings to Falin as she can't help but laugh as she sobs. Falin smiles and gently rubs Marcille's back. Everything finally feels like it's going to be okay.

Right?

Chapter 86-Finale

[cario55555]

Gonna be taking a bit of a break from art and such and so, specifically cotl stuff mainly because i got abunch of wips in the backlog and others stuff to doodle but also i like this little freakshow im making too so have abunch of fun facts about the funny lamb universe i got goin on for now under the cut

⁍ The Lamb would canonically win in a fight against 4 Leshy's or 2 Heket's, but not 3 Shamura's or 2 Kallamar's. ⁍ The Goat literally just walked into the Cult and acted like he already knew everyone. This somehow worked for 3 years. ⁍ I have no idea if Narilamb is canon in this or not, but if it was then it would not end well for anyone ⁍ Plimbo is the best character, this is a fact and you cannot dispute it. I tried designing him like 8? times and I just couldn't get it in a satisfying way. this is because he is without flaw. ⁍ The Lamb was fully aware of the prophecy before the beheading. They were counting on it. There is blood on their hands. ⁍ Sozo is very dead. Whatever's walking around the Cult, that's not Dr. Sozonius. ⁍ Look at this thing I can do ☺ isn't that wild ⁍ It takes place in a permadeath save. This means that the Lamb's delusions of power definitely weren't helped by the fact that they BARELY even knew Narinder, and the fact they killed 5 gods without sleeping. ⁍ Also Lamb killed Narinder lol ⁍ Mystic Seller is named "That Which Takes" ⁍ Leshycat's canon but I'll never design them its just gonna be like in Tom and Jerry where they're just slightly offscreen at all times ⁍ Midas that rat fuck owes me 20$ ⁍ Surprisingly, Heket got the closest to killing The Lamb. She wears this as a badge of honor, or as a means to make fun of the other Bishops. I forget which. ⁍ I might make a fanfic one of these days based on cult of the sham but it'd literally just be an always sunny episode lol ⁍ Webber is literally the exact same as the one from Don't Starve. They had to put him down because he kept placing spider nests all over the Cult, and Pigs kept trying to throw down. ⁍ A little gnome just ran behind you when you weren't looking. ⁍ The Lamb is ambidextrous, this is because I keep forgetting which hand to have them hold stuff with. They also have no idea what this word means. ⁍ The gnome ran behind you again you gotta pay more attention to this stuff ⁍ ☺sorry i didn't mean to do it that time ⁍ Clauneck and Kudaai like switching clothes and acting like eachother to fuck with people, it works every time without fail. ⁍ Aym and Baal are hanging out with Forneus. The Lamb didn't let them do this, they literally just booked it as soon as they got the chance and Forneus totally could beat the shit out of The Lamb. ⁍ help its red now ⁍ nevermind we're good ⁍ Ratau was driven mad by the crown. He's had the knowledge of the gods ripped from his skull and delicately placed onto some psychopathic woolen beast. He's not all there. ⁍ Any time I'm working on COTL stuff I'm usually listening to King Gizzard and the Wizard Lizard. To get the general tone I try and set, listen to their album "I'm In Your Mind Fuzz". Good stuff. ⁍ The Industrial Meat Grinder incident was an inside job.

thank y'all for all the support, means the world that people actually like the delusional ramblings that come out of my brain at...

yeah that tracks.

also one more little mini preview for a drawing that might get finished one of these days idk

why is webber there i genuinely do not remember???

[dseerie]

My Thoughts On Why Astarion Acts The Way He Does

While I'm waiting for Baldur's Gate 3's cloud status to upload, I've been thinking. I've seen a lot on social media about people questioning why Astarion disapproves when your character wants to save the gnomes (since they are also under an abusive master) or assisting the refugees and how he is always wanting a reward instead of just doing something nice for the sake of it. And I've talked with people who have helped me put this into better words. At least I hope. So I wanted to explain my perspective as someone who was abused when a kid/teen/even early adult.

I fought my abusers whenever I could, figuring if it was going to happen, I'd piss them off, which was satisfying. But if someone started issues with a different authority figure, it annoyed me quite a bit because then I have another problem. And what if my abusers found out I was involved when I wasn't because someone I was with was upsetting the authority figure? It would become just one more issue I had to deal with. Too many details and nuances to keep track of when my mind needed to focus on the first problem. It made sense to stay on the good side of authority figures to keep myself safe and avoid trouble.

For me, something had to be worth doing or my mind just went back to worrying about sh*t, back to the fight or flight survival response. I needed that reward dopamine. Getting praises wasn't doing it for me, since I would forget the good because of the bad. Trauma brain is funny like that. I needed something physical and worthwhile to make me happy.

It's the reason why Astarion is my favorite character that I connected with the most. Not because of his beauty (not that he isn't an elegant elven man. Just that it wasn't what got me to like him. I'd lean more toward Gale or Wyll if it was by appearance for the male companions, though seeing Astarion half-naked with abs was a real shocker. I seriously thought he was a skinny elf 😳), but because he reminds me so much of how I was and how my thought-process worked. How I kept people away by being rude just enough without them wondering if they should say something to my abusers. Because no matter how many times I told people outright I was being abused early on, no one helped, only tattle-told on me.

And I haven't even completed a playthrough yet. I only just got to the Elfsong before starting a Durge playthrough. First playthrough was an asexual Tav to get to know the characters and storyline (I kid you not, I made my Tav a Charlatan rogue then discovered Astarion was also a Charlatan rogue when I was in the forge 😂). As I got to know them a bit more, Astarion intrigued me the most and when Patch 7 came out, I decided to play a Durge Romance. The first Durge both traumatized me up to Act 2 and made me adore and respect Astarion even more. So yeah, I'm romancing him on this Modded Durge Romance playthrough despite Gale having an interest in me, who is the male companion I would connect with if Astarion wasn't a companion (I'm literally just starting the Underdark area and Gale is already at 100 approval while Astarion is at 79 approval. I wish I had a library, I do have a cat, and I love me some white or pink wine 😋).

This is what my perspective of why Astarion acts the way he does. He's not bad, per say. What happened to him for 200 years has made him what he is. Nobody can fix someone else, but they can be guided to help fix themselves. I've been working to fix myself since I got out of the situation. And I want to be the one to guide Astarion toward fixing himself.

Both Neil Newbon and Stephen Rooney (primary writer) did a freakin' incredible job in bringing Astarion to life and making him so believable to the point he has helped many to realize what they went through and improve themselves. Bravo, good sirs! Thank you so much!

If I think of more, I'll see about adding. For now, thank you for reading. I hope you have a great day. 😊

[waterdeepwife]

Tbh how would Gale accommodate gnome/halfling Tav in his tower? Some stools, magic? My brain is not braining this and if you're feeling like that you may give this idea a shot?

(it's my first time asking anything, makes one a bit nervous)

Anyway I hope your days are kind and you're well 💜

Gale x short race! Tav

Warnings: typos, use of you instead of Tav, think that’s it?

Summary: I absolutely love this idea! Sorry it took so long to get this out to you! No need to be nervous, you are welcomed and loved here! 💜 I did this in the form of headcanons if that’s okay!

Gale honestly forgets you’re so short. Sure he kneels to kiss you all the time, but it became second nature so fast it slips his mind. He is smart but also kinda dumb.

During your travels to Waterdeep he helps you into a tall barstool and then it hit him. Shit, your tiny and his tower is not built for tiny. But don’t worry he is already planning on how to fix it.

I think Gale is rather a tall guy. Probably 6’0. Idc if canon says something else this is my blog. >:) so everything in his tower was built for his lanky ass, but magic can fix that!

Of course he has stools crafted and placed all around the tower for you so that you can reach onto shelves. All the stools were custom designed because his extra like that. They have romantic patterns with swirls and hearts, or your names, etc. you get the picture.

Downside to the stools. Our beloved wizard forgets about the stools and trips over them ALL THE TIME. Has so many bruises from times he just randomly toppled over a stool. Tara gave up trying to warn him cause he just keeps doing it.

Gale also is no stranger to using magic to fix problems. Suddenly the floor boards can move on their own, lifting you up to reach whatever book you were tying to grab! It’s almost scary how sentient the floor boards seem.

He also wants to teach you magic, or at least mage hand so you can grab stuff when he isn’t around or if you want to be independent.

Plz let him help. He saw you struggling for a book in the study and he is on his feet in a second, standing and ready to help. Gale understands if you want to do it yourself, but he just loves doing anything and everything for you. When you ask for help he proudly gets whatever you need, chest puffed as he kneels down to steal a kiss.

Gods forbid you try climb onto the counter, this man will STRESS. He’s borderline motherly “Well, what if you fall and crack your head open?!” But it also isn’t him who worries for you, Tara does as well. She will use her ability to fly to help you grab things off high shelves, and then give you the longest lecture if you climb on multiple things to try and reach it yourself.

Gale’s bed wasn’t too high of the ground, but he still had mini steps made to make it easier for you. (Tara also used them lol)

I can’t stop thinking about it a halfling or gnome Tav would be too small for the toilet in his tower and I’m fucking dead.

He also uses his magic to create portals from different floors. The tower has so many stairs and he doesn’t want to tire yourself out.

[noses-in-winter]

Jack of All Clits (f/f, nsfw, sneezy lesbian porn cranked up SUPER high)

idk what it is but lately I have been INCAPABLE of writing anything that didn't involve a curvy girl sneezing, receiving sapphic head, and climaxing within a few hundred words of each other. This fic just happens to have all of that! Piper's my horny and perpetually stoned bisexual dumbass and Tourm is @virarushi's hot thicc girlboss gnome OC who sneezes about everything and has not yet had her bi awakening! Tourm is 4'5 and Piper's 5'6 so that's fun. :) Here's some art of her because she's hot! Anyway, to summarize: This is a 2.5k word fic in which Piper's going down on Tourm while she sneezes. They're roommates in grad school and Piper prides herself on being able to deliver bi awakenings.

To reiterate: this is nsfw so please do not interact if you're underage!! just block me!! thanks!! okay enjoooyyyyy ty

(Also to my awesome friends who read this in Discord, I DID add a few more horny details, just sayyin...okay anyway tyyy)

Piper was pretty sure Tourm had never climaxed at the hands (or dick, or mouth, or any combo of those things) of another sentient being. Based on what Piper had learned about her new roommate so far (mostly from asking Alexander), college was the first chance Tourm had ever really had to be away from her family’s rigid expectations and watchful eye. The poor bitch hadn’t ever even had her boob squeezed before! And there was a lotta boob-squeezing real estate there!

Tourm’s lack of preconceived expectations made Piper’s job all the easier. Not that she didn’t like a challenge, of course. But, now she could put all her focus into just getting Tourm to--

“Haah--! F-Fuuuuuuucking Void, Pipes…”

--moan, even if it was not done with near the amount of volume that Piper had anticipated. She expected Tourm’s--

“Mmmhhmm--!” 

--sounds of pleasure to be just as loud and take-charge as her sounds of laughter, anger and annoyance. As Piper had quickly figured out, Tourm was not a throw her head back and cry out with every rock of her hips kind of girl. Would have been hot if she was! But Piper also liked Tourm’s brand of quivering through the arousal, letting out steady moans that evidently came right from the g-spot. That was…actually a lot hotter than the first option. Piper didn’t have to keep an ear out for anyone drawing closer to their room. She could just keep making Tourm squirm. 

“Mmmmhfhhh, fuck. Aah--!”

And, Christ, was it fun to make her squirm.

“Mmmn…MMhmm…Fuck,” Tourm exhaled audibly in a proper English accent that could rival Solara’s. Piper didn’t tease her about it the way she normally might. She simply focused on keeping this pelvis-rolling rhythm going. Piper would have commended Tourm for figuring out the desired beat of her drum, were her tongue not occupied with the shorter coed’s labia. With Tourm’s calves draped over Piper’s shoulders and her hips angled upward, Piper went down on her in a very literal sense. Coupled with two pillows beneath the small of Tourm's back to keep her sex elevated, it made quite the memorable impact. It was Piper's go-to move when someone neeeeeded a good mouthfucking the way Tourm did. Piper prided herself on being able to get hookups to forget aaaaall about sheltered upbringings and disappointed families with the use of her nuclear-powered tongue work. 

Piper’s eyes flickered over to her phone, propped up on Tourm’s bedside table. The stopwatch read: Six minutes and fifteen seconds…sixteen…seventeen…Shit! She was running out of time. Time to pull out the big guns.

Thus far, Piper had been using the tip of her tongue to tease at Tourm’s g-spot. As Tourm evidently grew closer and closer to completion, Piper opted to switch things up a bit. She eased her tongue in farther, just enough to rub the stud of her piercing against the roof of Tourm’s cunt. The warm skin of her g-spot was raised, more than already activated with sensitivity and arousal. Judging by the new way Tourm’s thighs trembled around Piper’s ears, the move felt just as good between her legs as she had hoped. 

Tourm breathed heavily, one hand gripping the blankets beneath her while the other had her fingers tangled in Piper’s hair. She continued to groove against her roommate’s tongue in whatever way she could. “ohhh--ohhhFUUuuuuck, Pi---hi-hhh--?”

Piper wasn’t exactly sure what set Tourm off. Most likely, it was just the fact that Tourm was a gnome that simply existed. No matter the cause of the evident irritation in her nose, the first snag of Tourm’s breath sounded confused, as if she hadn’t realized this was coming. Her voice went a touch high with desperation as her nostrils flared, and then rested again, and then repeated the process to the same beat that she panted in. 

Tourm was sure gearing up for one hell of a sneeze that didn’t seem like there was going to be any attempted cover in sight. Piper couldn’t blame her. She was sure that being eaten out was the only thought and feeling and need in Tourm’s head at the moment. 

Tourm’s budding sneezes had her breath seesawing on beat with Piper’s tongue work urging her into the mattress. Finally, Tourm’s whole cunt clenched around Piper’s tongue as she sneezed at last, a cute “hh’chisshiew!” that Piper was more than used to hearing, along with the seeeeveral that always followed. The release peppered her shirt, bare thighs aaaand Piper with the results. Piper made a little noise of surprise when Tourm, fingers still wound in her hair, wound up pushing her face further against her sex. Immediately, Tourm let out a congested little moan, pelvis rising without her control in an effort to receive more and more and more of Piper’s tongue as she geared up for the next sneeze.

 Piper was happy to keep up, but withdrew from Tourm’s sex for just a moment. “Bless you. Sneeze all you need, babes, okay? Just aim somewhere that’s not me,” she teased lightheartedly.

Tourm took in another fluttery sniffle with a dazed nod, unable to offer even half a joking response. She just barely managed to pull the collar of her oversized sleep shirt over her nose with clumsy fingers as she drew closer— 

“hhih!”

 — and closer--

 “h-hehh—!”

 —to sneezing again. 

“hhhh!’chzsshiew!”

After several moments spent in limbo, Tourm’s hips bucked with yet another sneeze. By the sounds of things, this one came with a deluge of mess that was contained to her shirt. She let out a congested exhale that immediately turned into another heady snag of her breath that led to Tourm sneezing twice more. “sszsschiew--adt’chzsschiew!”

Piper opted to take this opportunity to use her thumbs to ease up the delicate hood that protected Tourm’s clit. Piper dipped her head down to greet it with her lips.  “Good giiiiiirl,” she hummed, voice shifting into a little purr as she praised Tourm’s last-minute success of covering her nose as Piper had instructed. “Bless you…”

Tourm gave a close-mouthed little sound of pleasure that could certainly be described as a whimper. Piper couldn’t tell if that was simply out of the stimulation she had been experiencing for the past (one more glance at the stopwatch) seven minutes and thirty-four seconds, or if that praise had done something hot to her. That could be figured out later. Just a little over two minutes left for Piper to push Tourm over the edge of climax. She could so goddamn do this. 

Tourm sniffled heavily with a murmur that probably had some intelligent meaning behind it, but only sounded like horny gibberish to Piper. The self-proclaimed master of orgasms didn’t ruminate on it long. Through the blond curls between Tourm’s legs, Piper took her clit fully between her lips to suck at. She wasn’t surprised by Tourm’s immediate gasp in response, or the needy buck of her pelvis. Tourm moaned through the fabric of her sleep shirt that she had less and less of a hold on as Piper rocked against her rhythmically with every sneeze…

“chissch!”

 And sneeze. 

“ischhoo!”

And a few more sneezes after that.

“iht’chisshiew! F-fucki’g shi--hihh!—kisschiew! hadt’DJISHiew!”

 Each time she geared up for a new sneeze, Tourm’s back arched up from the bed in a desperate squirm before making her buckle again in what looked like the world’s most effective ab workout. Those sneezes were rapidly starting to get away from her. 

“I’m…” Tourm trailed off, dropping her hand from its place of holding her sleep shirt. She instead used both hands to grip the blankets beneath her. Her shirt remained tented, held up only by her nose. That would be changing once she got a few more sneezes out, Piper was sure. Tourm was no longer capable of giving a fuck about a single thing other than her body’s powerful and simultaneous urges to climax and sneeze, sneeze and climax. “I’m g—gonna …hohhhh, fuuuuck….”

“Gonna what, babe?” Piper hummed during a brief pause in her stimulating efforts. “Cum? Or sneeze?”

Tourm gave one shallow nod, evidently an answer to both. Even though the bottom half of her face was covered by her sleep shirt, Piper could see that next sneeze coming from a mile away. Canted eyebrows, a shuddering inhale, the brief, sudden stillness of Tourm’s legs draped over Piper’s shoulders--

Haaaht--?!”

Oh, this was gonna be messy--

“CHIZSCCHhoo!”

Tourm sneezed. Productively, if the sudden splatter of wetness from the inside of her top gave any indication. Dampness bled through the cotton, turning the plain heather gray t-shirt into more of a slate color in several spots. Tourm snuffled and got a fistful of the shirt, drawing it up to scrub at her itchy nostrils. Piper could only see the underside of Tourm’s tits shifting, quivering along to the movement of the rest of her body, as well as the unsteady rise and fall of her chest. Piper didn’t bless her this time, simply choosing to hum as she tended to Tourm’s clit. This felt nice, apparently, judging by the shivering clench of Tourm’s thighs. Piper needed no further encouragement to keep humming and teasing and sucking until Tourm’s head pressed back into her pillow. The tip of her nose was perfectly perpendicular with the ceiling, reddened nostrils flaring as she came--

“OhhHHHHFFFffuuucuuuccckkkk….”

--hard with a shuddering moan that squeezed Piper’s ears between her thighs. Fuck yeah! She was so gonna win---

Nope. Ten minutes and twenty-eight seconds. Fuck! So close! Piper had nothing to complain about, though. That was fun. And hot. Super, actually fucking hot.

 Unable to properly tend to her clit anymore with how tightly Tourm’s thighs held her, Piper instead moved back down to Tourm’s labia. She delivered a few finalizing strokes with her tongue to Tourm’s heated sex as it pulsed rhythmically with the highs of orgasm. Tourm was quiet for several moments as she collected herself, save for heavy inhales and exhales, before she let out a little noise that sounded like a cross between a moan and a laugh once Piper’s tongue piercing massaged along her…shit, what was that part called? Her fourchette? Something French, Piper remembered, but she didn’t spend long on remembering the name. She simply continued with her tongue’s easy kneading of this evidently pleasurable (and ticklish) spot.

Tourm slowly untensed, legs remaining draped over Piper’s shoulders. Her hips continued to move lazily in response to the stimulation of her fourchette, but in a more relaxed way that suggested she was simply enjoying this little pleasure, even if she was still too sensitive to achieve orgasm again. She sniffled, palming the underside of her overstimulated nose. “Okay…Fuck. I gotta give it to you, Twintails. That…wasn’t bad,” Tourm chuckled, her accent slowly shifting back to that Cockney she always aimed for. She sniffled again, reaching for the box of Kleenex on the nightstand. She drew it closer to her, setting the box on the comforter as she plucked out several tissues. “Guess you’re--sdf! Good at more than just settin’ shit on fire and annoyin’ Moseley with me.” 

Tourm buried her nose into the tissues and delivered the first few seconds of a hardy blow before she was interrupted by another sneeze. Ope--and then two more. Piper gave Tourm’s sex one last parting little lick before easing back, wiping her mouth (and cheeks…and chin...and nose…Jesus, Tourm had been soaked) on her sleeve. She stood, easing Tourm’s legs down from their resting place on her shoulders to retrieve her phone from the nightstand.

 Tourm sniffled into her now-useless tissues, looking up at Piper with cracked, teary eyes. “I win?” she asked with a smirk that promptly collapsed into a sneezy snarl--

“adt'IZSSCHSHuh!”

-- that resulted in another heavy sneeze all down her shirt. Tourm grimaced, making a little noise of disgust as she moved to a sitting position and saw just how thoroughly peppered with sneezes both the inside and outside of her shirt were. “Eugh. Gross.” 

Piper snorted with a little smirk of her own as she started for Tourm’s dresser. “Bless y--”

“’chzsshiew!”

Piper gave an impressed whistle as she opened the top drawer, rifling through Tourm’s various shirts. She didn’t look at Tourm just yet, but it was audible in that grumbled snuffling that that sneeze hadn’t been pretty. Piper couldn’t help an amused little smile to herself as she picked out a new top for Tourm. She unfolded it, giving the garment only a brief look before shaking her head and beginning to fold it again. Way too tight for comfortable sleep. Piper did like this shirt, though. If her tits were half as impressive as Tourm’s, she would have been wearing it every other day. “Bless you, infinity. Get ‘em out, babe.” 

Tourm snorted ticklishly, knuckling at one nostril through her bundle of tissues. She blew her nose and actually managed to finish without being interrupted by a sneeze. “So?” she asked with an amused smirk in her voice. “I won, right?”

Piper rolled her eyes fondly, examining another shirt. Nope. Fabric was way too thin for a chilly April night like this. “Fiiiine. Yeah. Just by, like, twenty seconds, though. I’m sure I would have made it without those several sneezy disruptions, but I’m no sore loser.”

“Hah!” came Tourm’s little snicker. “You owe me fift--sdff! Ugh…F-fihh--hihh! I--”

Tourm sneezed behind Piper’s back, another productive sound that had her groaning again in the aftermath. Once Piper turned back around, a perfect sleep shirt in hand, Tourm was already pulling her messy top off. She removed her shirt the way a guy might, Piper noticed, pulling it up from the back. She wiped her nose with it before giving it a lazy toss to the carpet. Tourm leaned back slightly in bed, supporting herself with both hands as she sniffled. Piper, the slut she was, could do absolutely nothing but stare at the way the evidence of all of those sneezes just made Tourm’s tits shimmer in the lamplight. And then how they--

“Hhh--! hadt’DJISHiew!”

--bounced with another heady, uncovered sneeze that simply provided the same glitter-esque shine to her chest. She let out a stuffy exhale in the aftermath that sent a bolt of horny lightning down Piper’s spine. That…really had sounded like another moan, hadn’t it?

Damn it. She wanted to make her moan again. 

“Double or nothing.” 

Tourm looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, tits settling after that shivery sneeze. “Huh?” Piper didn’t even hand Tourm the new top, simply tossing it to a cluttered desk. She made her way back to Tourm’s bed and took her by the bicep with one hand lightly enough that Tourm could move away if she wasn’t into it. “Lemme try again,” she said, more of a command than a request. “Double or nothing if I can do it in eight.” 

Judging by Tourm’s expression, she very much was into this. Piper took this as a cue to ease her free hand to cup Tourm’s warm, damp tit. Tourm evidently couldn’t help a quivering little exhale, lashes fluttering as Piper thumbed her nipple. Just as Piper would expect her to, though, Tourm immediately shifted her look into one of cockiness rather than the evident need that was there.  “You’re on.”

[shhh-secret-time]

"i would love to see your take on stan/female reader/wendy…with the spice lol😙" - anon

Oh boy my first fic with Wendy~! And it's Stendy no less, lets fucking go! This request is a special one, because I seriously have never received a compliment so fucking funny in my life. The person who sent this I hope you enjoy it and god speed.

Warning: NSFW, Threesome, F/F/M, Strong-Language, Mild Dirty Talk, Overstimulation, Oral

Pairings: Stan x Fem!Reader x Wendy

Come on down to Aspen Snowmass Ski Resort!

You flipped the little brochure over looking at the picture of large snowy mountains and giant ski slopes on the front. Inside the small packet were three passes and a small metal key tucked away in the pockets of the folded paper. Three passes for everything this large Ski Resort had to offer and more! How Stan got ahold of these tickets was a mystery.

*Tickets and Passes at a discounted price! You only need to sit through a short presentation! Ask for more information over the phone!

"Wendy, can you bring out that black bag? I need to tie it down on the car!" Speaking of the shaggy haired man.

"Yeah! Give me a second!" Another voice calls from the blue painted house, the front door propped open with a silly looking garden gnome. "Stan what did you pack in this?! It's heavy!" Wendy comes out with the large, long black bag that Stan requested.

"Skiing equipment." He pauses to take the bag from her, meeting her half-way from the car to the house. "First aid supplies too just in case."

"You're not going to go down K-13 again, are you?" Wendy puts her hand on her hips looking up at the man, she has her lips pursed slightly and her eyes lowered.

"Well...what's the point of going to Aspen if we're not going to ski?" Stan gives her his best smile as he puts the bag on top of the car, going out of his way not to look her in the eye.

You can't help but giggle at their interaction, they're both so cute when they get like this. You already know how this is going to go, Wendy is going to warn Stan that he needs to be careful and not get wrapped up in just skiing the entire time, and Stan is going to reassure her that he'll be fine and that he won't.

But before they can go through the motions, they both stop and look over at you. Wendy has the most charming smile on her beautiful painted lips and Stan has a lazy smirk across his. Your cheeks flush from getting caught, you look down at the bags by your feet and quickly scoop them up.

As you walk over to put the bags in the car a pair of arms wrap around your waist pulling you away from it. Pulling you towards his chest, Stan slots you in between himself and Wendy. Another pair of arms wrap around your arm, Wendy pulls your arm close to her chest.

"Watcha giggling about baby?" Wendy's the first to ask, an amused glint behind her eyes.

"You wouldn't be laughing at us, would you?" Stan follows up with his own teasing, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"Maybe a little! I can't help it you guys are cute! Plus, I'm excited, a whole weekend with my favorite people~!" You chirp back at the both of them.

You rest your head on the top of Wendy's head and bring your free hand up to cup the side of Stan's face. Standing in the driveway surrounded by various colored bags, you're reminded of the wonderful life you live. Stan and Wendy have you swallowed up in this little hold, reminding you that you're loved.

Yeah, life was pretty great with your partners. You had a house on the street of Stan's childhood home. A dog with the softest fluffiest fur you've ever seen on a pupper, who was currently being watched by Stan's best friend. A warm bed, that would be cold without nestled bodies to keep it so. It was the three of you against the world.

Oh, and the stupid garden gnome, how could you forget Mr. Poppy. He was just as important to the family. No other gnome could hold open a door like him.

"Awwh! I'm excited too! I can't wait to try all the food and take pictures! It's going to be so pretty!" Wendy coos as she nuzzles her face into the side of your arm. "So, we better hurry and keep packing so we can get there in time for check-in."

She presses a kiss on the side of your cheek and then quickly places one on Stan's, who is still leaning on you. Stan only chuckles and goes back to tying the skiing equipment down, not before giving you both a little squeeze.

Wendy trots back into the house to grab the rest of the luggage as you begin to pack the car, Tetris style.

Once everything is neat and secured the only thing left to do was get in and decide who was going to drive. After a quick little game of nose goes, issued by Stan, Wendy was the one behind the driver’s wheel. Stan up front in the passenger seat and you in the back stretched out. Your softest pillow pressed against the car door and a blanket thrown over your legs. Stan's got his phone plugged into the aux chord scrolling through his endless playlists.

"So, what are we feeling, something heavy and loud, or energetic and feel good?" He asks just as Wendy backs out of the driveway.

You put the 3DS in your hand down on your lap for a moment, pausing your game for a moment. Harvest Moon can wait this was important. "Let’s start with feel good and go into heavy and loud. I say when we stop to get snack, we jump into something new!"

"Yes! Oh, I was just thinking about what snacks to grab! Whatever we grab nothing messy!" Wendy looks at you through the rearview mirror only to giggle when you give her a pout.

"Why are you looking at me?! I don't get messy snacks! Stan does!"

"Nah sorry babe, I'm with Wendy on this one." Stan chuckles just as he puts on a song.

"Of course you would be on her side to save your ass! You can't just agree with Wendy when it's convenient Stan!"

The car is filled with music and laughter the entire ride there. Stan trying to catch almonds in his mouth by tossing them in the air, only to miss when Wendy "accidently" swerved the car. Talking about each album selected and listened to, how it makes you feel and what you didn't like about it. It's mostly Stan just going on about different rifts and how it's impressive certain guitarists can pull of techniques, but hey it's what he liked. The two slowly take off their coats and throw them in the back seat, hitting you in the process. Protests are quickly cut short when you realize how warm they were.

 At one point Wendy had to pull over from giggling too hard at the image of you wrapped up in three coats, Stan's hat, her gloves, your blanket and pillow, and your shoes kicked off. Stan agreed to take over because taking you away from your comfy state would have been a crime, especially when Wendy calmed down and crawled into the back to lay with you. Laying across you, she nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck. You could feel her eyelashes brush against your skin the entire ride making you giggle and squirm. The both of you nap the rest of the ride, arms wrapped around one another, legs intertwined.

Stan would be jealous if it wasn't the cutest thing he'd ever seen. Just before he wakes the both of you up, he snaps a quick picture of your sleeping forms. It's his new lock screen. Maybe he can let both of you rest while he handles the check-in, after all he still has to drive up to the cabin.

The silver car pulls up to the cabin carefully pulling into the driveway. Colorado snow packed high against the side of the wooden building, a dim light flickering through the frosted windows. Stan leans back in the driver’s seat taking a moment to just enjoy the quiet. The soft sound of your breathing mixing and matching Wendy's in the back seat. He closes his eyes and smiles, thinking about how he had to claw his way to this point in his life but he's so glad he did.

He turns the car off and opens the door, the cold air nips at his skin as he leaves the warmth of the car. Maybe he can let the two of you sleep a little longer while he puts the bags away. It isn't until he has to untie the skiing equipment that you begin to stir, the cars gentle rumbling no longer present. Groggily you rub the sleep out of your eyes, the subtle weight of Wendy on your chest makes you hum. Your hands rest on the small of her back as you look around, the orange lights of the sunset peeking in through the car window.

It caresses the side of Wendy's sleeping face. Reds and yellows disappear behind the kisses you place on her face. Trailing gentle kisses down her cheek towards her jawline, subconsciously she tilts her head to the side giving you a little more access to her neck.

"Hm... Wendy, baby wake up." Your voice is still laced with sleep, knowing that if she doesn't move off you that you'll fall back asleep.

She stirs enough to let you know that she's slowly waking up, but when she doesn't get up and instead crawls up your body you let out a little hum. Contrary to popular belief, Stan wasn't the one that was hard to get up. Wendy was a little menace, doing everything in her power to stay asleep. Right now, she was using the fact that she knew she was adorable to try and catch a few more moments with you. It was working, but you could play dirty back.

Your lips continue to her neck where you pepper up and down the flesh. Your hands move up her shirt enough so that your fingertips brush against the exposed skin. She rewards your efforts with a little moan, pressing her body closer to yours. She can feel your smirk against her neck, her attempts to let her go back to sleep fall short.

You continue your assault on her neck, soft and feathery kisses turn heated. The sound of blankets rustling and being pushed off to the side onto the car floor, slips under the sound of her moans. You slot your leg between her legs bringing your knee up to keep her close.

"You gotta wake up pretty. I think we're here." The raspy purr of your voice sends a shiver down her spine.

Wendy rolls her hips against the fabric of your jeans just as you bite down on the sensitive spot of her neck. Your hand moves down her back again, sliding further past her hips to her the side of her thigh that's exposed. The short white skirt she put on today gave you a perfect look of those creamy soft thighs. Your fingers squeeze the flesh making her moan your name.

She leans up and tugs your jackets up, silently asking you to sit up with her which you do happily. Her hands push down the layers of jackets until they pool under you and leave you in just your tank top. It gives you enough time to pull away from her neck and work her shirt open, a few buttons near the collarbone. A glimpse of her brightly colored red bra pulls another purr out of you, your lips brush against her the valley of her breasts.

But before you can dive back into her, the car door behind her opens. Cold air claws at your exposed skin and the car light comes on. The interruption makes the cold sit in faster than it normally would.

"Having fun?" Stan's voice almost pulls you away from Wendy's chest, stops your wondering hand on the curve of her ass.

"Was just trying to wake our girl up. You know how she gets." Your response is muffled by Wendy, you look up at Stan with a playful glint in your eyes.

"Oh, I know. I was almost tempted to you let continue, but I figured you'd wanna get cozy by the fire."

"I-I'm not that bad!" Wendy tries to protest but it turns into a squeak when you bite down, leaving a bright red mark.

"Uh-huh. Stan's right though, we gotta get the bags inside." You slowly slide your leg out from under Wendy.

"Already got them inside." He says as he offers his hand to help Wendy out of the car, unable to take his eyes off the lipstick stain you left on her chest. "Checked us in too. I figured I'd give you guys a little more time. Kinda glad I did now."

Wendy's soft awwh's went away at the last comment. She rolls her eyes and pushes past him. "Thank you. Stan."

With her coat thrown over her arms she makes her way into the cabin leaving you and Stan in the cold to gather the rest of the coats and blankets. You both watch her walk up the stairs, her skirt swaying from side to side as she does. Stan looks down at you and smirks, there's a silent exchange of knowing looks.

"She's so cute when she's mad."

"Right? All pouty when she gets called out."

You take Stan's hand and pull him along to the cabin. He closes the car door and locks it with a press of a button. Wendy's already tossed her jacket up on the coat hanger resting beside the door, her shoes put neatly away in the corner. The crackling fireplace in the middle of the room was already lit and made the cabin feel so comfortable. It's almost enough to distract you from the warmth pulsing at your core. The little make-out session did more than just wake you up.

Stan shrugs his coat off his shoulders and grabs at the ends of the sleeves to tug it off further. That action alone shouldn't make you bite your lower lip but the way his muscles flex under his shirt and how he rolls his shoulders only encourages the feeling. You turn your head away from him and take a deep breath, a small part of you hopes that Wendy's struggling like you are.

And she is, she's running her fingers through her hair that's thrown over her shoulder trying to ignore Stan. Trying to ignore the look you give him and how it excites her, how Stan is blissfully unaware of the way you're both eyeing him. Poor Stan. Poor sweet dumb Stan.

He puts his jacket next to Wendy's and then takes yours from you doing the same. You smile at the kind gesture and go to explore the cabin. Maybe if you got away and cleared your head a little, you wouldn't burn up by your own desire. Walking past the living room and into the kitchen you took note of how cute everything looked, straight out of a little novel. The cabinets were a light brown color that matched the white kitchen counter perfectly, little shelves of cups and bowls tucked away. Although the ivy that hung down from the top of them was fake, it brought little splashes of green that made it look so pretty!

You turn back and walk back towards the living room. Stan and Wendy are sitting on the couch together, she's snuggled up against his side curled up. He's got his hand resting on her knee and his arm wrapped around her, she's playing with the fabric of his shirt whispering something to him. They laugh and he presses his forehead against her letting it rest there as they close their eyes, and just enjoy the presence of one another. Between the warmth of the fire and the love you feel for the two people in front of you it was almost enough to make you burn up. You smile softly and decide to give them some time alone.

After all you got to have a little time with Wendy first, it was only fair. Plus, you still had to see the bed! And what a bed it was! Dark blue blankets folded carefully over the bed, three pillows fluffed up to the point where they looked like clouds, and a giant white comforter that you just knew would keep you nice and warm. That and the mini fireplace in the corner, sitting there on a little platform with dried out logs of wood behind it. Bookshelves filled with various novels and decorations line the wall. Behind the bed is the largest window in the cabin.

You crawl over the bed towards the window, sitting up on your knees you look out at the frosted glass. Resting your chin on your arm, the sight in front of you is beautiful. Since you were asleep when he pulled up to the cabin you didn't get to really take in all the beautiful mountains that surrounded the area. The snow was starting to come down a little heavier now like it waited just for you and your partners. Dark green trees covered in that beautiful untouched sparkling snow.

With a happy little sigh, you flop back on the bed with your arms sprawled out, you stretch out to your fullest. The stretch feels good enough to make a little moan slip from your lips, your back arches up making the muscles feel better. Reminding you that lying in one spot for too long with another human on you isn't exactly the best for your body.

Your eyes open to the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. Stan and Wendy walk into the bedroom only to spot you already on the bed enjoying the silk on your skin.

"Told you this is where she'd be." Stan says leaning on the doorway, his forearms holding him up on the doorframe.

Wendy looks up at him and giggles, "This place is beautiful! How were you able to book this place? It must have cost a lot."

"Nah. It's my parents, they bought it when we were younger. Dad caved and just bought this cabin after that time share experience." He shrugs a little, his fingers run through his hair a little pushing up the black locks.

"I guess I'll have to thank your dad next time I see him." You say finally deciding to lean up.

"Don't. For the love of god don't, it'll go to his head." The way he says it makes you and Wendy burst out into laughter.

She decides to join you on the bed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her petite form sinks into the soft mattress. Her hands pushed down on the bed forcing her up a little, the momentum causing her to bounce up and down on the bed. After she's satisfied enough with the bounce she leans back against your form. Your arms go to wrap around her waist pulling her close to your chest, you nuzzle back into her neck where your lips were moments ago.

She responds by pressing a kiss into your cheek. You retaliate with a little nip on her neck pulling a breathy giggle from her lips. The way it turns into a moan makes Stan's breath hitch in his throat; his eyes scan your forms. He watches the way your hand trails up her shirt slowly slipping the plastic buttons through the slots. Every button reveals more and more of her body, pushing it down to her elbows where it rests on the cubital.

Your hand comes up to the lace on her bra strap. Playing with the material before sliding down her shoulder, replacing the strap with your lips. Your other hand moves down to her thigh pulling the skirt up in the process. Stan's eyes widen when he sees the matching set of panties, stained a darker shade from her arousal.

"So pretty, did you wear that for us?" You whisper next to her ear as your fingers made quick work of moving up and down her slit. Adding just enough friction to make her roll her hips, trying to chase the pressure.

Wendy's pretty pink lip’s part to answer but it turns into a whimper and a moan. Her cheeks turn a bright red matching the lingerie that looks so beautiful against her skin.

"Come on Wendy, answer her. It's rude ya know." Stan finally breaks away from the spot that he was glued to. Finds it in him to walk over with that shit eating smirk across his face. He bends down and puts his arms on either side of you. He leans down and presses the softest kiss on her forehead. Compared to your hand and the way you’re squeezing every soft curve; his kisses feel so alien.

Ever stubborn, she goes to silent him with a kiss. It takes everything in Stan not to capture her lips in a heated kiss, but he's able to pull back and shake his head. Just far enough that Wendy can feel his lips ghost over hers, just enough to smell the gum he had in the car. The spearmint taste on her lips.

"Ah no. Bad girl." Stan tuts as his fingers trace her lips; the pads of his thumbs brush over her lower lip. Wendy's lips wrap around his thumb pulling it into her mouth, her tongue swirls around the course digit. You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched Stan's resolve break. He never could hold on long when she worked her magic.

Your hands slip down the band of her underwear, pushing the thin fabric past her hips and like clockwork, Stan helps you pull them the rest of the way down. He tosses them to the side before removing his thumb from her mouth. Not before pressing down on her tongue, making a pool of drool slide down her chin.

The way she looks up at him makes your heart slam against your chest and your body ache. Finally, after the slow drawn-out teasing, your hands pull apart her legs. Pushing them away from one another by the plump of her thighs. Her slit now bare to the man before her, her arousal coating her legs now that she no longer has the flimsy material to cover it.

Stan's on his knees in front of her, his arms tucked so snugly under her legs so that he can bring her closer to the edge of the bed. He lazily throws them over his shoulders and dips his mouth closer and closer to her aching heat. Just as his lips connect to the throbbing bud, you press a kiss onto her lips.

His lips twist and pull at the bud, a hungry tongue greedily swirling around to collect her arousal. The flat of his tongue presses into the nub until it wanders into her heat. Just as his tongue slips its way into her cunt, yours slips into her mouth. Devouring her in a different way. Every moan that escapes her lips is immediately swallowed by you. For as hungry as Stan was, you were starving.

The poor girl couldn't catch her breath. Between your kisses that already left her breathless, and Stan's jaw working her clit; she could feel the pressure in her core build up fast. It was like trying to ride out heavy waves during a storm. Colored nails intertwine with Stan's hair, tugging the locks up when he hits that perfect spot with his tongue.

"A-ahh!" Her moans pitch an octave, she bucks her hips forward against his mouth.

The kiss is broken just as her resolve comes crashing down. Stan can feel the way her walls throb and tighten around his tongue.

Wendy throws her head back when Stan continues, even with her climax coating his tongue it’s not enough for him. His eyes flutter shut with no intention of stopping. He'd continue lapping up every delicious part of her until his jaw ached.

She tries to push his head off, tries to close her thighs around his head. But he keeps his hands firmly on her thighs. When she tugs his hair again, he only lets out a deep moan which vibrates up against her cunt.

Little beads of tears begin to prickle at the corner of his eyes. The overstimulation was a painful pleasure. Her breath hitches in her throat, a silent scream dies along with it. The sound of Stan's mouth working its magic fills the roo. The heavy exhales coming from him as he struggles to catch his breath, the fact that he'd rather suffocate than come up for air makes you chuckle.

After Wendy cums around his tongue again, and the light mascara around her eyes begin to bleed down her face, do you tap the side of Stan's shoulder. "Alright cowboy let her go, I think she's learned her lesson." Stan's eyes meet yours, looking up through the darkened blues.

He flicks his tongue a few more times, pulling a cry from the poor woman. He moves his lips to the inside her thighs. A series of kisses trail down her quivering thighs, he hums softly.

Wendy's body is spent, you can tell from the way she's practically lifeless against you. Her mind is still trying to catch up from it's high. Your hands work on massaging circles on her hips helped to anchor her back down.

"I think you killed her Stan." You chuckle, pushing Wendy's hair out of her face.

"Ya think? I couldn't help it; she tastes so good." His purr sends a shiver down your spine as he leans up towards your face. "Wanna taste?"

When you nod and smirk at him, he bends down and finally captures your lips in a kiss. The difference between their kisses is night and day. Wendy's are always soft, passionate, playful ones. Stan's are hungry, firm ones; like he's trying to put all his feelings into one action.

You can taste it. Every bit of love he has for you on the edge of his lips. Wendy on his tongue. Desire in the way it twines with yours. Wendy's half open eyes watch, her mouth opened in awe. The way your tongues work in each other's mouths brings a red hue to her face.

Her blush deepens when she sees the thin string of saliva that connects your tongues snap. Stan's the first to pull away, lips still wet from everything. He cleans the corner of his mouth with his thumb and smirks.

"Hmm...he's got it out for you Wendy." When you call her name, she looks up. The confusion written on her face only makes you chuckle. "Because that wasn't enough, it's my turn."

She was going to die. Wendy Testaburger was going to die somewhere in Aspens. The comfy warm cabin was going to be her coffin, and her cause of death was going to be her two insatiable partners.

You don't give her much time to protest, not that she would anyway. You pull away from her and begin to strip down to nothing, Stan works on moving her back against the pillows. At least she'll be comfortable when she dies.

Stan whispers to her softly, "You can give us one more Wens. It's only fair, she didn't get her turn."

You smirk back at the bed as you toss your clothes away. She looked so cute in nothing but her pretty white blouse still wrapped around her arms. Beads of sweat starting to trail down her body, you know you're not the only one watching as they trace every gorgeous curve.

But you are the one that gets to settle between her legs. You crawl over until your face is inches away from her poor cunt. Your eyes find the marks Stan's left behind and decide that it's not nearly enough. Her pale skin made the red splotches pop so pretty, why not add a few more. So, you leave teeth marks and little bruises where Stan's mouth hadn't touched.

Stan's enthralled, but not enough to sit there and do nothing. While you worked your clothes off, he did the same. Dark blue jeans thrown to the side, faded band shirt alongside it. It isn't until he puts his hand on your hip that you realize he's propped up behind you.

Standing on his knees, he's pulled your hips up towards his aching member. Wendy's little whimpers and moans only serve to make his cock throb. His hands fist the flesh and pump it a few times. Watching your face get closer and closer to where moments ago he had his.

"Fuck that's hot." It slips out of his mouth before he can stop it. At this point he's not sure he wants to, just pressing the tip of his head against your slit isn't enough. He needs you both to hear what you're doing to him. "You're so pretty like this. Eating our girl out like that, and fuck-" He paused to deliver a firm slap on your ass. "-this ass of yours."

The pain makes you moan out, the vibration shoots up against Wendy's clit. She cries out and bucks her hips against your lips, which you use to capture her clit. Lips wrapped around her abused bud.

"Oh god~" Wendy throws her head back, any work to get her to come back down from her fucked out mental state is thrown out the window.

Her moans encourage you, selfishly lapping and sucking at every nerve until you find a rhythm that causes her to see stars. Stan picks up on it, he waits until your tongue is flicking her bud back and forth before diving into your cunt. Firm hands keep your hips still, so he doesn't throw off your tempo.

Again, he doesn't even bother holding back his moans. Your arousal lets him slip past your folds and snuggly against your walls perfectly. He pushes until he's halfway buried deep into you, only to slowly pull back out. For as good as you're making him feel, he's so focused on the way you're making Wendy feel. Every time you moan into her, she arches her back, and every time she moans at the sensation it makes his cock throb. The cycle keeps the fire burning. Lust and pleasure wrapped so tightly together.

Wendy's mouth is lulled open, and her eyes are rolled up to the back of her head. Stan knows she's not going to last from looks alone. So, he begins picking up his pace. His snapping forward with such force it causes a ripple across your flesh. He's making it hard to focus on anything but the way his cock feels buried in you.

Thrust after thrust brings you closer and closer to the edge. You're dissolved to nothing more than sloppy tongue thrusts. Pumping in and out of Wendy like Stan is doing to you. Every thrust from him trickles down to her. Pushing you against her only to pull you back against him. But you're not the only one losing yourself.

Stan's been hard since he opened the car door and found you two in a heated state. He's been fighting the urge to fuck you both senseless since Wendy first came around his tongue. With every flutter of your walls, he goes harder and deeper.

After a particular strong thrust in just the perfect spot, you feel your resolve crumble. A white-hot flash goes across your eyes and down to the pit of your stomach. Your walls clamp down around him, trying to milk him for all he's got.

"O-oh fuck! Fuck you're squeezing me!" He growls so loudly when you do. He crawls over your form, sweaty chest pressed against your back, hips pushing you further into the bed. His mouth latches onto your shoulder where he bites down. Hard.

Wendy's fingers are in your hair pulling your head up towards her chest. She's already cum for the third time, possibly the fourth. She's stopped counting and all she can focus on is the way you both feel against her. She watches the way Stan drills into you until he can't keep the rhythm anymore.

His hips stutter, slap against your ass one last time and then he spills his cum into you. Thick hot ropes of cum paint your insides until it's dripping down your thighs.

Heavy breaths and shaky moans. Slow inhales and breathy exhales. Whatever energy Stan has left is used to keep himself from falling on top of you. He pulls his teeth from your skin, pressing a soft kiss on the mark he's left behind. A quiet apology.

Eventually he pulls out of you and falls to his side next to Wendy. His arms find home around her waist where he tugs you both towards his chest.

".... this vacation already rules." Stan breaks the silence, pressing a kiss into your temple.

"It's only the first night." You giggle, tossing him a lazy smile.

"Yeah, we still got the hot tub to test out." Stan says with a smirk.

Come on down to Aspen Snowmass Ski Resort!

"Insatiable. Both of you. I'm going skiing at least once or I swear to God." Wendy huffs but the smile on her face betrays her. The corner of her lips twitch as she tries to resist.

You might get some skiing done.

[dunmeshistash]

it's funny seeing dungeon meshi opened my eyes that Gnomes are real mythical creatures cus I assumed they're just lawn decorations.

then again there was a kids show I watched about fairies and elves and they have a real Gnome character. but then I watched Gnomeo and Juliet movie and I thought "oh so they ARE just sculptures that western people put outside their house"

LMAO

I also keep forgetting about gnomes or mistake them with other magical creatures tbh, I think I associated them with those shoe fixing elves from some fairy tale for some reason?

Garden gnomes are so weird tho aren't they, they aren't a thing here so I only know them from tv and the sims. Gnomeo and Juliet was also very weird.

[jeanystillbeany]

BillFord Fic 3

yippee no pacing.

 “What do you mean the portal is destroyed?!”  The triangle sat atop a large throne made from the majority of Gravity Fall’s residents.  The lacky ticked nervously at Bill’s clear annoyance.  In fact, the whole Fearamid was silent in response to the demon’s rage.  

  “It-it was smashed-“ the green monster explained with a shudder.  His eyeballs were blackened with eight-balls as his pupils.  

  “Well thanks!  That’s exactly what I was- NOT asking for!  Details eight-ball.  Details.”  Bill Cipher seethed.  Eight-ball shook as he tried to explain without suffering from his ring-leader’s unhinged mood.  

  “We- m-me an-and Pyronica- we- we were g-going to move t-the portal here- like you said- but- but it- something smashed it.  N-nothing useful.  We-we haven’t found the creature-“

  “Get out.” Bill Cipher’s face darkened.  

  “Boss- look we-“

  “GET OUT.”  Eight-Ball was quick to rush out of the room as Bill’s typically yellow form turned a fiery red and twice its already exaggerated size.  

  After his henchman scampered out of the room, Bill let out a heavy sigh and laxed into his chair.  If he had temples he’d be rubbing them, but for now the space above his single haunting eyeball would do.  

  “Thirty years… thirty fucking years Stanford…”  Bill began talking amongst himself, “I waited.  I actually thought you weren’t dead!”  Bill’s voice breaks off into a cluster of unstable laughter.  The worst part of all this is that he knew it was his fault.  He pushed Ford.  He pushed him away.  He might as well have been the one to push him into that damn portal.  Ford was gone.  He always was.  That was it.  He has no one holding him back now.  Bill believed that the lack of anyone would push him forward.  He thought he’d be free… but if that were the case, then why does he feel so restrained?    He thought that if all connection to that nuisance was lost- he’d rather have the world than him.  Why is it the other way around?

  “FUCK!”  Bill yelled abruptly in frustration.  The world around him morphing with his emotions.  

  “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- you stupid dumb- IDIOT!”  The demon groaned as he slumped back into his chair defeated.  Stanford was gone.  There was no denying that.  Cipher decided that it was time to stop throwing his little temper tantrum and cut himself off with a stubborn sigh.  

“I have living Pines to worry about. But first…”

  Bill snapped his fingers and two of his ‘friends’ popped into the room.  One of them looked like a pair of dentures with legs while the other was a pink woman with flaming clothes.  

  “Teeth, Pyronica.  I have a job for you two.  Go find the dumbass that destroyed the portal.  And make it pay.  Have fun!  -and I don’t want to hear that it’s even twitching!  Or I’ll be the one ‘having fun’.  Buy gold!  Bye!”  Bill didn’t give them a chance to respond as he teleported them to the remains of Ford’s lab with a maniacal laugh.  As soon as they were gone he ripped off his mask and groaned back into his chair again.  Or was that a sob?  He couldn’t tell anymore.  It’s not like it mattered anyway.  

  Sixer was gone.  

  And he was going to make everyone pay for it.  

~

  Sixer and Dipper conversed excitedly in the TV room.  It was as though they were two old friends reconnecting, even though they haven’t had much conversation until now.  The interaction began with Ford approaching Dipper about the modifications he made to the shield to keep Bill out.  Dipper explained that he found gnome hair to have a sort of repellency to unicorn hair- this caused the shield to nonchalantly cause the target to forget the shack was there. 

  “It actually ended up being surprisingly useful this far in!”  Dipper chirped, “it keeps us from getting any sort of Eye-Bat’s attention from up to 100 feet of the mystery shack.”  Ford nodded and began writing the new discoveries down in his journal while mumbling other theories.  Eventually the pair trailed off to talking about other topics and somehow got caught up on their favorite nerd game ‘Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons’.  

  “Hey- if you’re up for it- I wouldn’t mind playing with you sometime.”  Ford grinned at his nephew.  

  “Yeah… after all this is hopefully over…” Dipper sighed.  

  “We must indulge in playing immediately!”  Ford claimed rising from his chair in enthusiasm.  Dipper was a little startled at the sudden attitude- yet appreciated the change from everyone else’s hopeless expressions.  While Dipper did seem to find some condolences in the gesture, fate planned on getting Ford back for his little scare anyway.  

  As Ford began to help Dipper search the shelves for their game, the door to the Mystery Shack suddenly slammed shut  rather clumsily.  Ford jumped in response and glared at the direction the door was in with a raised eyebrow.  

  The man took his curious expression with him for a moment as he paused his task and traveled to a nearby window.  Outside, he could easily distinguish where the barrier ended.  A trail of some of the survivors living inside the shack followed a certain Stanley pines out of the barrier.  

  “Stanley…” Ford muttered under his breath in warning as if the other could hear him.  

  “What is it?” Dipper asked curiously and followed Ford to the window.

   “Oh…” Dipper observed his Grunkle and his team leaving to get the supplies in the bunker.  

  “Does he even know where it is?  What if the shapeshifter is loose by now!”  Stanford sputtered.  Despite being much younger than the other twins, Dipper understood the feeling.  

  “You should go after him!  I can help too!”  Dipper said.  

  “No.  Absolutely not.  You are going to be staying in the shack where it’s safe.”  Ford commanded.  

  “C’mon!  Seriously?  I can do stuff too!  Why does Grenda get go then?!  She’s the same age!”  Dipper complained in response.  

  “I’m still your great-uncle Dipper.  We will play D, D and more D when I get back.”  Ford retreated from the window and began scouring around the shack for his coat- then realizing it was torn.  He grabbed all the items inside of it and placed them into his satchel.  In the meantime, Dipper followed him around like a lost puppy begging to come along on the adventure.  

  “Please Grunkle Ford!  I’ve been sitting around here for weeks!  Do you seriously expect me to just sit here?!”  Dipper pleaded.  

  “Yes.  Yes I do- now try and set our game up while I’m gone.”  And with that final sentence Ford left Dipper in the Mystery Shack.  

  Ford discreetly traveled behind the group set to the bunker.  He hid behind trees and trudged out of sight from his brother.  As the survivors and Stanford traveled, he noticed many familiar landmarks from the new Gravity Falls everyone was trapped in.  Weirdly enough, it seemed Stanley was leading everyone back to the lab.  Stanford supposed it wasn’t the dumbest idea.  The pure insanity of the state of the world has caused their usual surroundings to change immensely.  It was a decent idea to have a safe point in case someone got separated or they found the terrain has changed too greatly for them to find the bunker from memory.  It has only been a day and Ford found himself missing his now completely trashed lab.  After a few hours of walking, group finally made it to the lab.  The ghost of the mystery shack still stood atop of it.  The group decided to take a short break. 

  “I can’t believe boss did that?!  What’s up his ass today?”  

  “Yeah I know!  Seriously!  What’s so important about this dumb portal anyway?  We’re already out of that damned dimension.  I don’t see what’s so important about it.”  Everyone froze at the voices heard from the remains of the underground lab.  No one dared move a muscle as Wendy signed a few things to Stanley and everyone stayed silent.  For a moment all anyone could hear was sounds of Bill’s henchmen complaining while rummaging through debris.  Everyone began to slowly retreat away from the mystery shack silently- careful not to step on any sticks.  Ford observed with a clenched jaw, and he’d find five half-moons imprinted in his palm if he looked at his hands later.  One by one, each survivor made it out of the clearing and into the cover of the brambles.  The man still continued to stay in hiding until the final group member was out of sight.  

  Everyone was breathless as they silently waited for the monsters to leave the area.  It was quiet other than the loud clacking of metal from underground in the lab.  

  “Hey- where’d they go?”  A pre-teen boy emerged from the same direction the group and Ford had come from just minutes before.  He ignorantly stepped out into the clearing with a huff.  The entire group’s eyes swarmed the familiar voice.  Ford felt his hair stand on end at the tense atmosphere.  Ford began to sweat as Dipper carelessly walked away from all cover.  Wendy popped her head out from the bushes.  

  “Dipper!” Ford acknowledged the panicked look in her eyes as she frantically waved him over back towards the forest.  He also noticed Stan had poked his head out of the brush as well- attempting to aid Wendy in trying to get some sense of alarm into Dipper’s skull.  

  “Oh!  Hey Wendy!”  Dipper exclaimed- being too far away to accurately read her facial expressions.  Ford found himself among the two others that desperately tried to get Dipper to safety.  It was only about a minute when Ford realized the pace of Dipper’s understanding was much too slow for him to accurately comprehend the danger in time.  The boy’s newest uncle took note of the way his twin’s eyes widened in shock before scowling in disappointment as he revealed himself into the clearing.  

  “Hi Grunkle Ford!  Why are you all over there?”  The named Grunkle winced at his nephew’s volume as the noises in the bunker abruptly stopped followed by chattering.  

  “Did you hear something?”  

  “Yeah actually!  Almost sounded like one of those brats…” Ford grabbed Dipper’s arm and pulled him behind himself.  He carefully backed away in order to not make any noise.  He held his breath as he looked back at the distance between himself and the forest.  

  “Well, well well!  Look what we have here Pyronica!”  Ford’s attention darted to the voice that came from the teeth demon.  It then went to the named pink one who towered over him.    

  “Look, it’s the old man and his nephew!  Love the new look… didja… do something with your hair?”  The pink demon flicked the floof of his hair as he pushed himself further in front of Dipper.  

  “What do you say we do with ‘em?”  Teeth asked.  

  “I say, we feed it to the wretch that destroyed our best friend’s portal!”  Pyronica grinned- pinching Stanford’s cheek.  He glared as his hand slowly moved to his satchel.  

  “Aww… I wanted a few bites…”  Teeth said disappointed.  

  “Oh, I’m sure you can have your fair share-“ Pyronica cut herself off as she noticed Ford’s movements towards his bag, “oh!  That could’ve been bad now couldn’t it?” She gleamed as she tore Ford’s satchel off his shoulders and tossed it to the side.  Ford fell backwards- pushing Dipper aside and held his shoulder to lighten the impact.  

  “Hey!  You leave my Grunkle alone!”  Dipper exclaimed fiercely.  He sat up- but Ford held him back.  He gave his nephew’s shoulder a squeeze to signal to him to stop, but the fire in his relative raged on.  

  “Oh!  So we got ourselves a yapper!  How cute…” Pyronica said tipping Dipper’s hat as she leaned menacingly over the pair.  

  “I say we eat them now!”  Teeth jumped in.  

  “Oh- but Bill would be so much more pleased if we brought Stanley back… you know how much he despises him.”  Pyronica pointed out as she reached for Ford and Dipper.  

  “Hey!”  Everyone’s heads darted towards the new voice- shocked to be seeing double.  Stanley stood fiercely and moved in front of his brother and Dipper.  He had Ford’s bag draped over his shoulder and his brother’s gun pointed at the monsters.  

  “Is- is this just me?  Or am I a little crazy here?  I think I had too much Time Punch…” Teeth exclaimed.  He then got abruptly shot right on one of his front teeth.  

  “AHH A CAVITY!”  Teeth exclaimed taking shelter back in the lab.  

  “You stay away from my family.”  Stanley said sternly before pointing the gun at Pyronica who continued to look between the two.  She grumbled with her hands up and rolled her eyes.  

  “And what is that stupid little gun gonna do huh-“ Pyronica was caught off guard as a zap of an unknown blue energy zipped past her face- giving her a nasty burn on her cheek bone.  She hummed before snapping her fingers expecting the injury to heal immediately.  When she still noticed a burning sensation, she snapped again.  The pink demon began snapping repeatedly until realization finally got through her thick skull.  Pyronica huffed in defeat.  

  “Teeth!  We’re leaving these cowards.”  She growled before following teeth back into the abandoned lab.  A large force of pink energy shot out of the top.  Ford presumed this to be an indication of teleportation.  

  Stanley still stood there tense long after the demons retreated.  The gun was still pointed at the lab where the demons never reemerged.  Ford brushed himself off and helped Dipper up before placing a hand on his twin’s shoulder.  Stanley sighed before lowering the gun and standing there for a moment.  

  He slowly turned around and pulled Ford into a hug.  

  “See?  I told you!  I would’ve thought you remembered…”  Stanley mumbled.  Ford hugged his twin back- knowing exactly what he was referring to.  

  “What that you’re always right?”  Ford asked.  

  “Yeah,” Stanley pulled himself away, but firmly gripped Ford’s shoulders, “Now can someone tell explain to me what was going on inside of that stupid head of yours!  I told you to stay in the shack!  But then you not only go off but bring Dipper with you?!”  Stan glared at his brother. Ford opened his mouth to respond before Dipper cut in.  

  “…it’s my fault Grunkle Stan… Grunkle Ford told me to stay in the shack.  I followed him.”  He admitted with his eyes aimed at the floor.    Stanley let go of his brother’s shoulders and sighed.  

  “Hey Dipper… look at me…” Stan said in an earnest manner.  Dipper followed his instructions as his uncle put a hand on his shoulder.  

  “That was stupid,” his uncle said bluntly, “very, very, very, very stupid.”  Dipper awaited a second stanza to his Uncle’s statement but received none other than a sly ‘you too’ towards Ford.  Stanley gave Ford’s bag back to him and the gun (with slightly more hesitation and borderline begging to keep it).  The group emerged from the forest.  Wendy even came up and slapped her boss on the back in victory.  

  After that fiasco the resource retrieval team decided they needed a proper break.  They all sat down in a group and quietly chatted amongst each other, sipping water, and savoring rations.  Ford took to savoring the peace.  He leaned his back up against a tree as he began writing the recent events into his journal.  His knees propped the journal open sufficiently, tucked about a foot from his chest.  Dipper was huddled closely beside him, anxiously asking questions with the excitement of Mabel.  Eventually Ford caved in and stretched out his legs- putting the journal at a better angle for Dipper to see.  The boy quaffed the words  written as soon as he was given a chance.  As Dipper read, Ford ruffled through his bag.  

  “What are you looking for Grunkle Ford?”  Dipper peaked from the book for only a second.  

  “One moment Dipper… ah.  Here we are!”  Ford’s six fingered hand removed itself from the bag, holding out a second pen to Dipper.  The boy looked at it questioningly.  

  “Well, I wanted to write about our encounter just now.  I thought that maybe you could help.”  Stanford shrugged, still having the pen held out to Dipper.  The 13-year-old took it eagerly, looking up to Ford in admiration.  The Grunkle put the book between themselves- giving each other about a paragraph.  The first few sentences were messy trying to figure out some sort of system in journaling with twice as many people.  Though, they both figured it out just fine in the end.  

  Stanley sat by a tree across from them- nonchalantly eating a can of brown meat.  Ford couldn’t help but notice the occasional longing glances his brother stole from them.  Ford sighed with a fond smile before motioning for Dipper to pause when they got to retelling the events that just occurred.  

  “Is something wrong Grunkle Ford?”  Dipper asked stopping mid sentence.  

  “No, no Dipper.  In fact- everything is great.  Though… I thought that maybe the man of the hour should write his own part.”  Ford shrugged.  

  “Really?”  Dipper looked skeptical before shrugging, “Fine.” 

  Ford nodded satisfied before calling his brother, “Hey!  Stanley!”  He waved his brother over.  

  Stan perked up as soon as he heard his brother call him, but then immediately slouched again.  It was as though he wanted to suppress the smile that came from a feeling he thought he lost with his brother 31 years ago.  Stanley lazily sauntered over.  Though Ford could see the gleam in his eye whenever he chatted with his family.  

  “So what’d you nerds need?”  Stan sat down in front of them.  

  “Oh!  Grunkle Ford wants you to help us write an entry in his journal.”  Dipper exclaimed- sliding the book over to his other great-uncle.  

  Stanley’s eyes widened at the gesture and gave Ford a questioning look.  He never let him touch his work.  Stanley always thought it was because he believed that he’d mess it up somehow.  Ford only nodded in responds and handed Stanley a pen.  He grinned and began jotting where the other two left off.  

[ruby-winchester24]

Tweek Tweak headcanons!!

{sfw+nsfw} {fem reader}

when you first met him he was a total wreak, he was trying to come off his meth addiction and also trying to cope of being left by Craig.

when you got closer he figured out he wasn’t totally gay like he thought he was.

the school and his parents were also very surprised, mostly all is South Park.

his parents really do like you, but you don’t really for what they did to Tweek. but you still keep the peace.

they are happy to see there son happy again.

he found comfort in your presence more then he did in Craig, that definitely fucked up his emotions.

it took him a while to finally understand his emotions and not go into a panicked rage.

you had to be the one to confess your feelings first, i’m not sure if he could without having a panic attack.

a lot of people asked questions about your relationship.

mostly what’s it like to be with a spaz.

you work at the coffee shop with him.

and yes you do get paid very well😋

he always makes you go home early if you have to close shop because he is scared you will get kidnapped.

it was his idea to have life360 so he knows were you are at all times, because of anxiety.

he is actually in great shape for being a meth addict.

you are his biggest supporter when it comes to his boxing.

he always waves at you when he is in the ring.

he always has bruises or cuts on him from being punched so much.

boxing lets him release a lot of stress he has built up over the years, he finds it better then any therapy session.

he continued to do boxing throughout his childhood and now he is getting scouted out by prizefighting officials.

definitely thought it would be to much pressure.

poor boy is definitely starved of love so show him some.

thoroughly enjoys sleepovers.

you made him delete twitter because it makes him a nervous wreck.

he loves to cuddle at first he wasn’t so sure but now that’s almost all you do now.

he still has ticks, because of how messed up his body and mind are from the constant amount of meth is his system for years.

it also messed up his growth he is only 5’8 i don’t see him being to tall.

once you play cod zombies and he had a panic attack because it’s low key scary asf, so you don’t play that game anymore.

he told you about the underwear gnomes.

Craig was also surprised that Tweek wasn’t all about he way gay.

Craig was upset to see him with another person but he also dumped him because of how Tweek acts, so he moved on quick.

words of affirmation and quality time are his love languages, he just needs to know you actually love him😭

he forgets to brush his hair a lot so you always have to do it for him.

he is very insecure about himself especially his teeth because there so yellow from him drinking coffee every day for years.

because of his anxiety he is always worried that you will find someone better.

he freaks when you talk to another guy because what if he steals you from him!?

you always remind him that your not gonna leave him.

homeboy is always asking were your going when he see’s your location move on life360.

he does not like pda the most he will do is hold hands, he doesn’t like when people look at you guys.

you always drive him places, he hates driving.

also when you make a risky decision on the road he will scream like a child.

he talks a LOT.

he has mommy and daddy issues☹️

if you cry he will cry too.

you guys have spa days a lot, it relaxes him so much.

he writes you letters all the time it’s the easiest way for him to express his love for you.

his hands are freakishly big compared too the size his wrists

he love’s fidget toys.

NSFW!!

switch, mostly a bottom bitch.

5 inches.

but when he does top he goes feral.

his pace is always fast and animalistic.

he holds you like your a porcelain doll

when he is jealous he goes crazy in the bedroom, but he will not degrade you but he will put you in your place.

he would hold you with a death grip.

he would make you make eye contact with him when he cums.

“why w-would you make me jealous like that!”

“you know that i’m t-the only one that can make you feel t-this way!”

“ahhh fuck your p-pussy is so good~”

eye contact that’s all i got to say.

remember how i said his love language is words of affirmation that also includes in the bedroom.

“oh g-god i love you so much”

“ahh jesus you make me feel so good”

when he is on bottom he is super whiny and he just wants to be good for you.

he calls you mommy 100%

and yes he likes to be pegged. that is 70% of sex between you guys.

he really likes a slow pace, he would rather make love then fuck.

he is mostly vanilla but he does like is praise.

sometimes he likes to act like a brat so you punish him.

his favorite punishment is when you deny his orgasm but that’s his little secret

he always holds your hand during sex, he just wants to touch you.

kissing always turns him on. every single time.

poor guy just wants to make you feel good.

he loves it and when you call him sweet nicknames

“your doing so good for me sweetheart”

“such a good boy for mommy~”

he is LOUD, like i’m pretty sure the neighbors can hear…

i am so so sorry for not getting this out sooner i had some bad writers block but thank you for the support over this time i luv you all❤️

[misshoneyimhome]

I need something, ANYTHING to read where Willy is quite literally a simp - you are the boss bitch running the show (everywhere but the bedroom, that’s where our model boy shines) and he is like literally obsessed with his partner because idk why but I feel like if that lil gnome is in love with you he’s clingy and obsessed (with no complaints lol)

“that lil gnome” 😂 But absolutely, love - let’s face it, he’s all cool and chill until that person comes along, and he’s turning into pudding 🥺 Again, this is much like the stuff I always write, but I’m a sucker for it, so of course I had to just go for it 🙈

Word count: 2.9+

➼｡ﾟ

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know I William Nylander

William Nylander wasn't one to easily surrender his heart, but as it turned out, it led him to have no other option.

Tonight marked your one-year anniversary, and he'd gone all out to ensure it was special.

He meticulously planned the day, ensuring you'd be out with your girlfriends while he took charge of grocery shopping and prepared an extraordinary dinner. Well, truth be told, Stephanie, Mitch, Calle, Sanna, and even Auston pitched in - Stephanie and Mitch assisted with shopping, Calle and Sanna helped with decorations, and Auston offered great gift ideas. And yes, he did have a housekeeper who diligently cleaned the entire condo, sparing you from any chores for a while. Meanwhile, his mother guided him through the cooking preparations.

And despite his efforts, he was a bit of a wreck – sweaty and distressed from all the organising and planning, which wasn't exactly his forte. That area belonged more to you; you were the expert in organisation, always in control and adept at planning. While he was the laid-back boyfriend, ever ready with a playful quip.

Yet, neither of you had planned to cross paths.

He entered your life as unexpectedly as you entered his.

_

You'd been on a winning streak in life.

You successfully completed your education with expertise and landed an exceptional job opportunity. Scaling the career ladder, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and prioritising your mental well-being were all part of your routine. It seemed like nothing could throw you off track.

Well, almost nothing - someone could.

Your first encounter with William took place in a quaint coffeehouse tucked away on a side street, often deserted as it remained relatively unknown. By chance, William had veered off his usual path, along with his doodles, and found himself on an unfamiliar street. Seeking warmth with a cup of coffee, he stepped into the nearest café where you were deeply engrossed in your work, savouring your own cup of coffee.

While waiting for his drink, his gaze fell upon your captivating, focused face, completely absorbed in whatever was displayed on your laptop screen. And a smile naturally crept onto his lips.

Your eyes shimmered with the reflection of the ambient lights, and your lips moved silently, articulating the words of the text you were so intensely absorbed in.

And as you looked up from your project, attempting to blink away the effects of staring at the screen for too long, you found yourself locking eyes with the blonde Swede.

At first you’d been oblivious to his gaze, but then his persistent intense stare eventually drew your attention, and his smug expression slightly stirred something within you.

As nonchalant as ever, William lounged against the counter in his oversized yet stylish attire, taking a sip of water while keeping his gaze fixed on you. When you flashed him a sweet, friendly smile, he attempted to silently mouth a 'hi,' but forgetting he had water in his mouth, ended up spilling it on himself.

A chuckle escaped you as you witnessed his awkward attempt to compose himself, wiping away the water from his lips. You tried not to stare too intently, but there was an undeniable intrigue about his handsome face.

Soon, as his coffee was ready, William regained his confident smirk and leisurely approached you.

"Hey," he greeted softly, prompting you to look up and offer a smile in return.

"Hey." Your voice sounded as sweet and gentle as William had imagined.

"I don't mean to interrupt your busy work, but... since I've already made a fool of myself, I thought I might as well come over and talk to you," he chuckled, standing before you, a smirk playing on his lips.

His overly charming manner managed to divert your attention from your work, eliciting a light laugh from you.

"Well, you're most welcome," you replied with a smile.

However, a moment of silence settled between you. William hadn't exactly thought this through, which wasn't his usual style. He typically had a knack for talking to women, but for some reason, he felt a bit hesitant looking at you, struggling to form a coherent sentence. It was as if his mouth wanted to speak, but his mind was in disarray, leaving him speechless.

"Um... I'm William, by the way," he finally managed to say.

"I'm y/n."

"It's nice to meet you, y/n."

Once again, a slight awkwardness hung between you both.

"So, do you want to sit... or-" you began, trying to ease the tension. But just as William was about to respond with a 'yes,' he heard Pablo and Banksy barking from outside.

Releasing a gentle sigh, feeling the need to return to his dogs, William flashed another smile.

"I'm sorry, I can't, but maybe I can see you some other time?" 

You reconsidered his question for a moment before responding. Gently you then nodded and smiled, retrieving a piece of paper and a pen, swiftly jotting down your number and handing it to him.

"Just let me know when and where," you playfully winked as your eyes met his once again, and he turned to continue his journey through Toronto.

At that time, dating wasn't exactly on your radar, though, since you had never really been into the whole dating scene. In fact, you had never been in a serious, long-term relationship.

Over the past few years, you had dedicated yourself to personal growth and achieving your career goals, which you had remarkably surpassed, making you feel a sense of pride in your hard-earned accomplishments.

However, your friends had naturally encouraged you to find a partner to share your life with. While occasional one-night stands satisfied your immediate needs, they were fleeting. You lacked someone to share your highs and lows with, someone to confide in when things got tough, or simply to revel in life's sweet happy moments. Your friends had been your confidantes, but as they all found partners of their own, their availability dwindled, leaving you sometimes feeling alone.

However, instead of delving into dating apps or actively seeking connections in the real world, you channelled your energy into your work. Perhaps your friends were right about you being a bit of a workaholic, but that never bothered you. You cherished your life as it was, fully committed to yourself.

But then William Nylander asked you out on a date.

Normally you’d quickly turn someone like him down, yet his excessive confidence piqued your interest, sparking a curiosity to learn more about him.

And on your first date, conversation flowed endlessly. Hours passed as you both engaged in heartfelt discussions over coffee, followed by an aimless stroll whose duration remained a mystery, culminating in another cosy coffeehouse for a late afternoon snack. Time and place seemed to be lost to you both as you shared everything and yet nothing with each other.

During your second date, he took you out to dinner. And here, your inner strong and independent woman faced a subtle challenge.

Having been in a relationship with yourself your entire life, you knew precisely what you liked and disliked. And more importantly, an overly charming, good-looking man shouldn't easily sway you. But William introduced you to his favourite restaurant, nudging you to try something new, which surprisingly, you found quite enjoyable.

And when the time came to settle the bill, he insisted on paying. While you appreciated the kind gesture, you were more than capable of paying your part of the bill yourself, given your financial stability. However, William wouldn't yield. He challenged your resolve, asserting that since he’d been the one inviting you out, it was his responsibility to pay. And eventually, you accepted and allowed him to cover the expenses.

Well, on the condition that you'd be preparing dinner on your third date, which he happily accepted.

With finesse, you navigated around his kitchen, crafting delicious, thick steaks accompanied by a great serving of pomes Anna, homemade béarnaise sauce, and an array of vegetables and greens. To complement the dish, you poured a delightful glass of Pinot Noir, enhancing the culinary experience.

William simply chuckled, appreciating the sight of you effortlessly manoeuvring around the kitchen, fully immersed in your culinary artistry.

And the dinner was nothing short of perfection.

The food proved delicious, conversation flowed seamlessly, and William, as always, looked captivating.

And as the evening drew to a close, and you were about to leave - a scenario not exactly anticipated in his mind - he surprised you with a deep, sweet kiss that left your lips tingling for the rest of the night. Briefly exploring his tongue, he held you close, intensifying the kiss before you parted ways, announcing your departure. This left William feeling frustrated, yearning for more of your touch.

However, you decided to keep him at arm's length for a little while longer. Dating someone as confident and excessively charming as him wasn't part of your plan, yet you found it difficult to distance yourself from him.

Nevertheless, you convinced yourself that it was all under control. Though attracted to his handsome face and charismatic personality, you assumed he would eventually grow bored, and you'd return to your normal life.

But as logical as it sounded, William had no intentions of leaving you be.

You had captivated him, and now he couldn't shake you from his mind, which, for the record, was highly unusual for him.

By now, he would typically seek out another woman for a casual hook-up, but he simply couldn't deny the effect you had on him; making his heart race and his pulse quicken.

Thoughts of you occupied almost every minute of his day, evolving into a near addiction that prompted him to check his phone each morning and before he went to bed.

However, hockey consumed the majority of his time. Daily training sessions and lengthy game days made it increasingly challenging for him to carve out time to date you. 

But instead of growing frustrated by his occasional absence, you decided to attend a hockey match with a few friends to demonstrate your support and interest in his life.

You messaged him about your plan, and swiftly he encouraged you to meet him after the game.

"Hey," he greeted, having showered and attended to media commitments.

"Hey, great win," you congratulated after releasing a tight hug and a quick kiss.

The two of you lingered as the last individuals in the corridors of the Scotiabank Arena, and while walking side by side, you dissected the game, sharing laughter and chuckles as usual.

Upon reaching the exit, William turned towards you, drawing you in for another heartfelt kiss, his hands gently exploring your hair and the back of your head, reluctant to let you go.

However, you gently pulled away, offering him a sweet smile, prompting him to speak.

"So, you want to come back to my place?" he cheekily inquired, earning another chuckle from you.

"Not tonight, love," you replied sweetly, causing William to release a soft sigh.

"What...?" William began, his tone reflecting confusion.

"Are you okay, Willy?" you asked, a hint of concern in your voice.

"I just don't get it... I mean, we have so much fun together, and the kissing is incredible," he almost nervously chuckled. "But are you not into me?"

Your expression turned curious, yet you offered a gentle smile, understanding his inquiry.

"Willy, of course I'm into you," you lightly chuckled.

"So, what is it then?" he inquired, eager to understand why you seemed to be holding back, which had you let out a gentle sigh.

"Do you really believe that just because you're this irresistible, good-looking star hockey player, you can simply charm me, and then my legs will magically open up for you?" 

William couldn't help but find your confident comeback amusing. 

"Well, yes, that's usually how it works for me," he chuckled lightly. He found himself increasingly intrigued by your level of confidence, realising that you were a strong woman, and he would have to work to win you over.

"Sorry, love, but you've got to do a little more to earn that privilege," you teased, flashing a flirtatious wink before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, and making your way home, leaving William once again frustrated and alone.

"Fuck it..." he muttered as he headed back to his place.

There, he spent time scrolling through your conversations, where suddenly you sent him a naughty Snapchat, lounging in a tantalising set of lingerie, teasing him just enough to fuel his fantasies, and jerk off by the mere thought of you. 

William was slowly becoming pudding in your hands.

Your strong and independent boss bitch personality had his mind turning and twirling, and his need for you only grew stronger over time. During roadies, he longed for your calls, which slowly turned into to naughty conversations and light phone sex, where you’d send him a few nudes for him to enjoy, and he’d replied with his much anticipating, needy hard-on.

And it had been that 12 days roadie that had let you to give up and let down your guard for him. 

As soon as the team was back in town, and you had your next date with William, you’d put on one of those outfits he’ seemed to enjoy so much, and met him with take out at his place, only to end up in the bedroom. 

And here he turned out to be the one in control. 

You surrendered completely, allowing him to take charge, and undoubtedly, the five intense orgasms had made it all more than worthwhile.

And since that night, your relationship has flourished into something remarkably special.

You've been there for William during hockey matches, cooked for him after training, and spent countless days and nights at his place.

William couldn't be happier.

He admired your passionate nature and your dedication to your job, qualities he also valued in himself.

He simply adored your meticulous and organised nature, a bit of a control freak, with everything planned to the finest details - a stark contrast to his own personality.

You were the one to get him out of bed when he wanted to snooze, ensuring he didn't risk being late. Before a road trip, you assisted in packing his suitcases, meticulously checking that he had everything, from phone chargers to sufficient pairs of underwear, hair products, suits, ties, and his most treasured jewellery pieces.

And upon his return home, you'd restocked the fridge and snack cabinets. Sometimes, you even took the liberty to wash his towels and tidy up the kitchen, which he gently reprimanded you for since that was the responsibility of the cleaning staff.

_

But tonight, he refused to let you take charge.

This evening was solely dedicated to him expressing his profound love for you, pampering you with a delightful three-course dinner and your favourite wine.

For a whole year now, you'd been a significant part of his life, and he couldn't be more grateful for that. You'd been incredible, supporting him throughout the regular season, playoffs, and off-season. You'd seamlessly blended into his family and stood by him through thick and thin.

He simply couldn't imagine his life without you, and he needed to make that clear.

William recognised that he wasn't always the greatest at verbalising how much you meant to him. Instead, he tended to shower you with gifts and express his love physically rather than through words. He had a tendency to become possessive if he sensed someone showing a little too much interest in you, often holding on tightly, and occasionally staying silent until you prompted him to express his true emotions.

This was also how your relationship had eventually defined itself. William realised he wanted you around all the time, and despite not being naturally prone to jealousy, he surprised himself by feeling a little anxious at the thought of you with someone else.

So, he challenged himself to ask you, and unsurprisingly, you felt the same and happily agreed to be his girlfriend.

"Fuck..." William exclaimed as the dinner seemed to be heading towards disaster. Cooking wasn't his forte, far from it, but he was doing his utmost best.

As he glanced at the time, knowing you'd be home soon, he released his frustrations and discarded everything into the bin before resorting to plan B – ordering takeout.

"Hey, love!" you exclaimed enthusiastically upon entering the condo, laden with bags from your shopping trip.

Receiving no immediate response, you shed your coat and shoes, strolling slowly into the living room where you found William. He was proudly lighting the last few candles, having set the table, and played soft background tunes.

"Welcome home, babe," he greeted you with a mischievous smile, enveloping you in a hug and planting a gentle kiss on your lips.

You were baffled.

Never had he gone to such lengths to do something like this.

"Willy, what have... is this what you've been doing all day?" you asked, almost speechless.

"Mmm," he nodded.

"Shit, it looks incredible. I can't believe you've done all this," you said, gazing deeply into his eyes after inspecting the beautifully decorated dinner table adorned with flowers, he knew you adored, and the takeout packages filled with delicious sushi.

"It's all for you, baby," he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours. "Happy anniversary."

Your eyes welled up with emotion as you felt the depth of his effort to express his love for you, and you couldn't help but melt into his touch.

"Happy anniversary, Willy," you whispered, connecting your lips once again, drawing him into a heartfelt kiss.

[ajaxiscat]

The Little Sprout - Chapter 1/9

I decided to finally throw some writing out there and see if anyone likes it. So here's the first chapter of a story I'm planning to continue. It's about a borrower and their host (as expected because this is a g/t blog)

Word Count: 883

Caught

“Just an hour” Evie knew she just had to wait an hour before it was safe to come out, but she couldn’t help but remind herself. Orenchi had just taken his melatonin which meant he would go to bed in twenty minutes, and he would be in his usual deep sleep forty minutes after that. 

Today was another risky mission to try and steal from her host’s pockets. He was a deep sleeper, which to her meant it was safe to get a little closer to him every once in a while. Usually she only got a small eraser from the forgetful artist, but it was worth a shot anyways. 

Before she knew it thirty minutes had passed, and she was peeking out from her spot so she could see if he was asleep. Usually she could wait the rest of the hour, but her love for adrenaline couldn’t. “He’s usually fast asleep by now, the extra time is just a precaution. You’ll be fine Evie, you always are.”

And just like that Evie was halfway up the cold wooden bedframe. Something stirred in her gut, and she would usually dismiss the feeling but not when she was taking a risk today. 

“Hey!”. Nothing, not even a shift. Throwing up her makeshift grappling hook, she was onto the mattress in less than a minute. He was lying on his side, and per usual forgot to change out of his work pants. There was clearly something inside so she quickly headed over and started pulling his pocket open.

“What the hell?” He was awake. Shit. She quickly started sprinting towards the edge of the bed, abandoning her grappling hook and sliding down the sheets. 

“No no no, I saw that!”. She ran under the bed as he got up and grabbed a flashlight. He crouched down and his paint covered face was quickly put into view. She dodged the light, hiding behind one of his many art boxes. “Listen, I don’t know what you are or if you can even understand me, but I’m not gonna hurt you. I swear.” Believe a human? He couldn’t be serious.

“Please come out? I’ll keep my distance I  promise. If you get nervous or scared you can run and I won’t follow you. Please?” Part of her was nervous about her next action, but regardless of her fear she walked out from behind the boxes. He turned off the flashlight when she squinted at the light. 

“Sorry about that little one, I just wanted to be able to see you better… What are you? Some kind of mutant? A fairy or a gnome? I mean you do have some dirt on your shoes.” Right, she forgot to clean them off after stealing from his garden earlier. 

“Either way, what are you doing in my room, let alone my house? I mean if you need shelter you can stay, but I’d prefer to know about a little thing like you here. Don’t want to let you get hurt.” Conflicted was an understatement. She couldn’t just talk to him, could she? She was always taught that if there was a chance to run from a human if caught, run. Though, she’s seen that he isn’t harmful. Never even swatting a bug, he just releases them outside. To hell with everything she’s been taught, this could be good.

“I live h-here. In your house, w-well in your vents. I’m not a mythical creature per say…” Evie was almost shaking at this point but she stood firm. If this was gonna work she couldn’t be seen as a scared little animal.

“Really, for how long? I mean I’ve never seen you here before.” There it was, he was gonna start asking questions and she’d never leave. Though she wanted to cooperate if she was gonna get him to trust her.

“Three years. I’ve been hiding here for three years”.

“What?! How have I not seen you, I mean-”.

“My kind is good at hiding.”

“Your kind? You mean there’s a whole species of you little folks?”

“Ah… well yes. I really shouldn’t be saying that. We’re supposed to be kept secret from humans. You can’t tell anyone I exist.”

“No one? Why? I mean the world would probably be safer for you little folk if more people knew about you, right?”

“No! Humans kill us! We can’t just come out, that would be like going around and saying ‘Hi we’re pests that steal from your homes and we have no defense. This is where we live, go ahead and kill us all!’ See my point?”

“Oh… wait, you steal from the homes you live in?”

“W-well, it's more like borrowing… we just steal things you humans won’t miss. Little crumbs here and there… I mean how else would we get food? We steal to survive.”

“I see… well, what if you didn’t have to steal? With how… Well, small you are, it’s no big deal for me to give you food.”

“It’s fine… if you’re okay with me taking food, I’d like to stay in the vents.”

“Oh, well I guess that’s okay. Just please be safe.” Evie turned to leave. “Wait! Just… if you change your mind, my offer is still open. Alright?”

“Thank you.” She turned and didn’t look back, the vent cover under his bed was unscrewed as a back-up. So she was gone before he could say goodbye.

[pheonixkenny]

How do you think other characters would react if they found out about Kenny’s immortality? I kinda go back and forth on this. I have many different ideas on how they’d react depending on how I’m feeling or information I have or w/e. I’m not sure how they would react canonically but I have some of my own ideas. (Ideas listed under the cut.)

Kyle: Given that he was the only one to give him the benefit of the doubt when Kenny mentioned it in “Coon Vs Coon and Friends.” (“Ok, let’s say you’re not crazy and it’s true.”) He would be one of the best at handling it. He does still think it’s kinda cool, but he knows better now than to tell Kenny that. He’s the one who asks him the most questions. (Like, “What’s it like to die? What’s the afterlife like? Do you think you’ll live forever?, etc.) He does feel kinda guilty for not knowing/believing him earlier, thinking he’s a bad friend. He enters big brother protection mode (previously reserved for Ike) around Kenny afterwards to try and keep him from dying so much. Kenny cycles back and forth between being flattered and annoyed about this. He also becomes determined to break Kenny’s curse, researching everything he can about the cult of cthulhu and immortality. The guy has a full on conspiracy board about this within a week.

Cartman: I know a lot of people have the theory that he already knows, it’s a solid theory that holds up logically but I don’t personally believe it because Cartman would absolutely take advantage of Kenny’s little power for his own gain. Anyone else who finds out about it tries to keep it from Cartman for this very reason.

Butters: Butters is a sweetheart so he apologizes profusely and gives Kenny a hug when he finds out. He also hugs Kenny whenever he comes back from a death and tries to comfort him, with varying degrees of success. I also feel like Butters would just believe him without any proof. Given how many of Cartman’s schemes he’s fallen for over the years I think it’s safe to say that he’s pretty gullible. He will believe pretty much anything you tell him. It’s just in this case it happens to be true.

Tweek: I saw a headcanon on here that Tweek would also believe Kenny because, thanks to the Underpants Gnomes, he knows how frustrating it is not to be believed. I love that and am stealing it. He wouldn’t exactly handle the information well though, because that is WAY too much pressure.

Craig: Craig didn’t give a shit when fucking lasers came out of his eyes so it’s safe to say he doesn’t give a shit about this either. He’ll say a sarcastic remark about it once in a while, but that’s about it.

Stan: Hoo boy, Stan. I know that I just recently wrote a fanfiction where Stan is patient and understanding about the whole thing but I changed my mind. So, in “The Cissy” when people around him start experimenting with gender for various reasons Stan gets worried and confused. He reacts similarly during the Tweek and Craig/Yaoi situation in “Tweek x Craig”. And who could forget the time when he didn’t go visit Kenny in the hospital because he couldn’t deal with the situation? (I’m making him sound like a bad kid, he’s not, he’s just sensitive and doesn’t know how to handle some things in the best way.) So now I’m thinking that when he finds out he’ll have another Stan Marsh Existential Crisis (patent pending) and just kinda avoid Kenny for a while. That’s not a good way to handle it but he doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t know what to say to the guy. It feels like everything has changed between them. Kyle has to intervene and goes up to Stan like “dude, quit being an idiot and go talk to Kenny. He thinks you hate him now.” (Because I can’t imagine a world where Stan knows and Kyle doesn’t or vice versa.) And he feels bad because he never meant to give him that impression. He still likes him just as much as before, he just needed some time to process everything. So he takes Kyle’s advice and they talk things out. Kenny understands how the information can be a shock and Stan promises not to withdraw like that again when his friends need him. Eventually he gets used to it and it just becomes another quirk that one of his friends has. (Thinking of writing a fic about this scenario but, like I said, I already wrote a fic focusing on Stan and Kenny’s relationship. I should probably use one of my Kyle and Kenny fic ideas first.)