#I just. Idk. I know im far in the past for him. but every so often I like to think about what would've happened if I had been better

[purpurussy]

.

[sunflowerrboyy]

hmmmm thinking thoughts again

[littlest-bugz]

Forcing myself to remember the one good ex I had to migate my upset feelings to bittersweet longing instead of pure anxiety over being texted by someone [it worked]

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[iuspired]

confessions - suna rintarou

about: DEFINITELY ooc but we don’t talk about that 😙 just you nd ur bsf sunarin catching up as per usual with tea to spill from the past 😝 we love to see it!

a/n: i wrote this awhile ago actually🫣 im fully done w finals………. idk what to think im so scared for the future. also trying diff formats and will actually work on my navi post during the summer so bare w me lol. anyways thank u for all the love on my last post mwahhh <3

“you know i used to have a crush on you?” you say, in between bites of your food.

you and your childhood best friend, suna rintarou, are at your promised monthly hangout, which ended up only being every couple months because your universities were far away from each other, so you both settled to meet up whenever your breaks overlapped. but it didn’t matter to you either way because you texted each other almost every other day. whether it was a tiktok link or an 8 ball.

“you used to what?” he replies, mouth agape as he sets his chopsticks down.

“i mean, it wasn’t a huge crush,” you say, … “maybe i was gaslighting myself but we were really close back then y’know?”

“oh? why didn’t you ask me out then?”

“mmm not sure. i guess..” you think about it. it was probably because starting high school, girls were all over him. it was also probably because those same girls would come up to you. passive aggressively ask if you were his girlfriend. you’d reply with a lighthearted laugh, “noo! we’re just close friends. he’s all yours if you want him.” maybe it was because he wouldn’t reciprocate any of the interest and love he received. he always replied, saying something along the lines of ‘oh i’m focusing on school” or just a simple, “i’m not interested”

it was mostly though, because you thought he’d reject you if you initiated something. and not wanting to ruin the relationship you had already built throughout the years, you suppress your feelings.

“you guess?”

“fear of rejection?” you laugh nervously.

“you think i would’ve rejected you?” he asks. he tilts his head, raising his eyebrows, giving you a look as if you were supposed to know.

“you had no interest for anyone so… i mean. i-” you stammer. fuck, why did i even bring this up?!

“well, believe it or not, i too, had a crush on my bestfriend.”

and just like that, you almost spit out your drink. “sorry, you- you liked me?”

“and that’s so surprising because?” he questions.

he really cannot wrap his head around this, huh. “you turned everyone and their mother down? mr. i’m too focused on school and i’m not interested? i could only assume that i was not wanted.”

“but did i ever directly say that to you?”

“no, but you wouldn’t need to. i listened when you rejected their advances, i can take a hint y’know.”

he sighed. “if you had asked me out back then, my answer would be different.”

“really?” you ask.

“really.”

you raise your eyebrows as you sip your drink.

“don’t believe me? you can try me now.” he smirks, flashing the smile you had fallen for back then, and you almost fold right then and there. though despite his confident demeanor, the slight rosy tint on his cheeks gives his nervousness away.

“oh? it’s almost as if you want me to ask you out.”

he playfully rolls his eyes. “okay, so maybe i do, but only if you want to..”

you do your best to suppress a smile as your cheeks turn into the same rosy color.

“here goes. ahem.. i uh-” your mind goes blank.

“wait so.. how do you ask someone out?”

“well, i’ve never asked someone out before because they always ask me” he winks.

you playfully roll your eyes.

“don’t overthink it. it’s just me right?”

you almost forgot. it’s just rin. the same rin who’s always there for you. but this is different.

“right.. i say this in almost all your birthday cards but you’re truly my rock in life, and i reaally want to be yours, and maybe more so.. may i be your girlfriend, suna rintarou?”

“well, if you insist i guess,” he shrugs.

“wooooww.. i see how it is” you say, crossing your arms teasingly.

“r-rin..” he catches you off-guard as he takes your hand in his.

“yeess?” he grins.

you remove your hands, immediately missing the warmth from his hands.

“first date jitters?” he chuckles.

“this is our first date?”

“technically, i guess, but-“

“no way this is our official first date. i’m wearing sweats!” you exclaim, looking down at what you’re wearing.

“i don’t see an issue, you always look pretty in anything you wear.”

“th- thanks,” you blurt out. well that’s new.

but it’s something you could deeefinitely get used to.

[blublublujk]

i just fucked your girl (and she loved it)

oneshot

word count: 11k

genre: established relationship (reader x namjoon), dark/morally gray characters and decisions

pairings: ghost hoseok x y/n and y/n x fiancé namjoon

summary:

A very lonely, horny ghost comes to haunt your dreams (and fulfills your every sexual desire).

warnings: oh my god get ready this is gonna get long. swearing, cheating?? (is it really cheating if he's dead? i'll let you decide), explicit sexual content; sexual "nightmares", unprotected vaginal sex AND anal (ITS TIME :D), rough sex, sub/dom dynamics, no safe word, submission, dirty talk, hoseok refers to people he comes across as victims (he doesn't force anyone i promise, not unless they want to ofc), masturbation, fingering, petplay? (the reader likes being called kitten), slight hand kink, slut shaming (oopsies), use of spit (oops again), use of lube, hickeys, lots of begging, hoseok's a bit mean but the ending will make it up a bit ISTG, namjoon's an innocent sweetheart, reader feels a lot of guilt, ass play (YAY), rimming (YAY pt2), mentions to gay sex and clown kink (you'll see), hoseok's like a ghost sex worker and the reader sorta manifests him, sex toys, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, spanking, come shot, blowjob, hair pulling, daddy kink, breast play, creampie, a bit of a sad/angsty ending, so sorry if anything is missing I RLLY TRIED

btw there's sex scenes between namjoon and the reader AND hoseok and the reader so they both get their share.

a.n: happy fucking halloween. sorry this got a little sad towards the end, but i hope you guys love it as much as i do. i think i'll live in this world for a while. i'm so obsessed with this probably, my favorite work yet. i think this is my smuttiest work too? idk. i was gonna delete like half of it because i hate myself sometimes but i figured you guys would enjoy something a little longer so i typed and typed until my lil heart desired and this beast was created. btw i finished this at exactly 6:13pm. i thought i'd let yall know, if anyone's as crazy as me :D im so curious what you guys think about this one so feel free to comment (only if you want too ofc ^.^) idk when i'll be back with something new but please be patient with me. i promise im not leaving lol i just get busy. OKIE THIS IS SO LONG SORRY AND ENJOY. byeee <3

p.s. i do plan to write an epilogue cuz this got crazy at the end. so much left unsaid. my brain is sooo... lol

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

--

It was the same damn nightmare. 

For the past three weeks you had been waking up in coldsweat, heart nearly beating out of your chest, breathing so out of control. You could barely hold yourself up.

And still somehow, you woke up drenching your panties of your own slick arousal.

It was the same nightmare from yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that. You would end up in a dark, ominous apartment. It was yours, but somehow different. The apartment was pitch black, flashing red lights from time-to-time, as if someone in the building had pulled the emergency alarm. You would crumble in your bed, closing your eyes and praying it would end soon. That’s when he would appear. 

A man in all black, long dark tousled hair. His teeth were bright, you could tell by the smile on his face while he watched you wither away in your sheets. The glow in his dull, sharp eyes would shine even in the dark. 

He watched as you squirmed in your bed, feeling heavy, unable to stand by your own strength.

“Don’t force it, darling. Take what you need.” The stranger would say with a strong raspy tone, smelling your arousal fall into the sheets below your bottom. You were always bare in your nightmares as if you were waiting and submitting for him.

You couldn’t resist the feeling. At his call, your fingers would come to relieve the ache between your thighs. Playing with yourself as if you were alone, but it was far from the truth. He would watch as you pumped yourself two fingers deep, sighing and whimpering, satisfied that you no longer felt empty. 

Sometimes, well no most times, he would join you in your nightmares. He would tear your hands from your leaking cunt sparing mercy and you would complain against your sheets. The stranger wasn’t that bad, not for long at least, because he would fill you with his own two fingers, his eyes would dilate watching you fall apart. He was smooth and precise, he would curve his fingers, hitting your g-spot right on target, loving the sinful sounds you made as you arched your back and yelled moans without holding back. 

Once he was satisfied and right as you were about to explode, he would pull away, whipping his hard, swollen cock out of his pants and tugs on himself, forcing you to watch as he pleased himself . Of course you wanted it, but this was so wrong, very wrong. 

The worst part is he wouldn’t just give it to you, he would make you beg for it. “Talk to me baby, you want it?”

You would shake your head, denying him and trying to pull yourself from under him, but realistically it is all you wanted. You wanted to taste the beads that fell from the slit of his hard cock. He was fucking big and that itself made you go fucking insane, his hands wrapped around his length nicely. You tried to stop your thoughts from going any further, but your imagination was a powerful thing, thinking about how his pretty hands would feel wrapped around your throat instead of his dick. 

“Oh, you don’t? Maybe I’ll just leave you like this then.” He would say and it fucked with your head. 

That was the last thing you wanted. “But– m’ so empty.”

“Then beg for it slut, you don’t have to be empty and lonely for long.” His tongue was smooth and wet against your skin as he licked down your throat, sucking little marks onto your skin. He had you wrapped around his fucking fingers and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. You wanted to move but at the same time, you wanted him to have his way with you. God can forgive you for this later. 

“I c-can’t.” 

“What a shame. I’ll just take care of myself and leave you here to watch.” He would start pumping his cock faster, tugging at the crown of his length. 

You made an agonizing sound of complaint. “Please.”

“Please what little kitten?” 

He was mean. So mean. 

And you were fucking stupid. 

“Please, f-fuck me.” You begged so sweetly.

The man would smile sinisterly before shoving himself deep inside you, forcing a scream of pleasure. He was not gentle in any way and you fucking liked that. As sick as it was.

He fucked you like his only mission was to make you come and drive you insane, pushing your legs far apart and brutally fucking deep into your walls.

He would watch you fall into your sheets, murmuring noncoherent words, completely submitting to the stranger you fell apart in his complete mercy. 

What an honor. 

“That's it baby. Squirt all over my dick.” His voice was always deep and you swore you could hear a smirk between his words. 

Like magic his words would rip intense orgasms out of you and he would fuck you through them all until you eventually collapsed unconscious.

You wake up in a gasp, the wet feeling between your legs nearly makes you gag. 

This can’t be. Not again.

“Baby, wake up.” A voice calls gently, soft hands soothe your back, patting and rubbing gently. “It’s just a nightmare, love. I’m here.”

“Joonie?”

“Yes baby. I’m here, go back to bed. I’ve got you.” His calm voice manages to settle the beating drum of your heart and still, this is the exact problem with these recurring nightmares. 

Even as your fiancé rubs circles into your back, all you can think of is the hands of that strange man that would fuck you into a delrious state. You hated it. It felt too close to cheating. 

If only Namjoon saw what your nightmares truly consisted of, he would be horrified and disgusted. Every night was worse, the guilt slowly started building in the pit of your stomach as you would daydream about the nightmare over and over and over. 

…

“You okay baby?” Namjoon’s voice was gentle, aware that your mind was somewhere else during dinner.

“I- yes.” But you weren’t okay. Not one bit. Flashbacks of the man in your nightmares would haunt your thoughts. These nightmares would play in your head like old memories.

His hooded eyes watching as you fucked yourself open. He would whisper things like, ‘that’s it kitten, so fucking wet all for me’ and ‘good kitten, nice and tight for me’. 

“Imagine what your fiancé would do if he saw the way you squirm in my hands. He could never fuck you the way I could, kitten. Isn't that right? Only I fuck you exactly the way you like it. My little submissive kitten.” 

“Please.” Begging is all you could muster to do in your dreams. You felt pathetic. You never wanted someone so bad. The guilt only grew stronger when you realized you were fucking addicted to your own dreams. You started chasing these nightmares. 

What was wrong with you? 

“Baby?” Namjoon called your attention once again, smiling apologetically. “You feeling okay? Your face is quite flushed.”

Your hands fall onto your face feeling the slight burn against your palms. “Sorry. I’m okay, just a little hot in here is all.” 

“It’s the end of October baby. It’s been really cold out. I’m surprised you aren't begging me to warm you up by now.” He tries to carry the conversation into a lighter, more casual matter. 

A nervous smile breaks out onto your lips, as you brush a piece of hair out of your face. “Must just be experiencing hot flashes. It happens when I’m a bit more stressed than usual.”

“Anything you wanna talk about? You know you can talk to me.” He’s sweet and present for you as usual. You feel your heart drop thkining about how this is what you are missing out on by feeding into those stupid fucking nightmares. Something had to change. 

Wake up, Y/N. 

“Yeah, I know babe. It’s nothing to worry about. Just work stuff.” You make an excuse for yourself and it seems to work, for now. 

“Mm, okay. Don’t be afraid to come to me for anything. I don’t want you suffering alone.” Your fiancé places a hand on top of yours, squeezing it softly. 

“Thank you, Joonie.” This time you give him a real smile, but the guilt still stays hidden deep inside you watching as he reciprocates the smile back at you.

“There’s my beautiful bride-to-be. Stop worrying so much baby. Maybe you should take some time off from work. You know sleep usually makes you feel better. It always has. My sleepy girl.” 

And there it goes and hits you all at once again. 

Guilt. So much guilt. Sleep doesn’t even feel enough these days. The nightmares make you feel as if you never rest. You are clearly aware that dreams aren’t real life, but you even wake up sore from them. It’s scary how realistic it all feels. Maybe that’s why this makes it worse for you. Everything feels too real.

“Yeah… I’ll think about it.” But you won't because time off means resting and resting means more sleep and more time for these nightmares to keep haunting you. It’s like you will never win. 

“Eat your dinner baby, it's getting cold.” 

—-

The daydreams continue even at work. 

“Let me see that perfect ass, kitten. Turn around for me.” 

It’s like he completely owns you, hypnotized by his voice. You immediately present for him, face down and ass up sitting so nicely. 

“Fuck kitten, look at you. Tell me, does that lame fiancé of yours ever play with this ass?” 

You whimper a ‘no’ feeling a glob of spit drip into your unused, virgin hole. His thumb caressing the wet ring of muscle, watching you clench around nothing.

“I’ll change that soon, kitten. Just how you like it.” 

Namjoon wasn’t necessarily opposed to butt stuff, the one time you mentioned it he briefly dismissed it. Granted, he was busy at the time with some work, and you were too embarrassed to bring it up again. 

It seems you got lucky nonetheless. 

The man blows hot air into your wet hole, his lips felt soft against your ass. He would leave a kiss here and there before his tongue peaked out and circled around your rim. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” You weren’t the most vocal sexual partner yet somehow, under his touch, you were the loudest. 

Moans fell dangerously loud from your lips as he would continue to fuck his tongue deep inside your ass. Stopping every few seconds to stare at your puffy rim, gaping around nothing. Fuck, what a sight for sore eyes you were. 

“Please.” 

“What baby?” His palm was heavy against your ass, watching it bounce back. 

“More.” You would beg. 

“Anything.” He would purr back. 

A thumb circled around the velvety muscle before pushing right in, fucking his thumb alongside spit that dripped from his mouth. 

Yes. Just how you like it.

“Y/N?” Your coworker brushes a hand against your shoulder. “You doing okay?” 

“Shit– yeah, my bad Yoona. I’ve just been feeling a bit sick lately, I think I’m coming down with a cold.” Which is a complete lie, but how do you tell your coworker you’re having wet daydreams about another man (who by the way only exists in your imagination) that isn’t your fiancé and that it is taking over every part of your life and that the guilt of it all sits heavy on your chest as days pass by and there is nothing you can do about it, but indulge in these dreams and practically live in them because you’ve become an addict. 

Yoona breathes out a light hum. “You don’t seem sick.” 

Fuck.

“Yeah… well it’s just starting, my throat feels dry and sore these days.”

“Maybe you should take a day off?” She suggests. 

“Yeah, maybe.” You agree just so she gets off your back. 

“You’ve been working a lot these days anyways. I’m sure Mr. Gyun wouldn’t mind if you called off. You’re one of his favorites anyways.” She laughs and you fake a smile. 

“Yeah, right. I’ll think about it. Let's just focus on work. We need this revised and sent off by Monday.” 

“Sure sure. But I’m being serious, take a day off or two, you look like you need it. You seem… tired?” She says, worrying by the sound of her tone. 

Because you know she will never let this go, you reassure her. “Yoona, I love you to death, but don’t worry too much, okay? I’ll take some time off if it gets worse. Thank you, really.”

“Alright, just looking after you Y/N. Your soon-to-be husband would kill me if I didn't.”

“I’ll tell him you’re doing a great job, now back to the transcripts…”

—-

You knew the night would eventually come. 

There was only so much you could ignore and forget. 

A sudden rush of heat wakes you from one of your nightmares, the jolt in your body scaring Namjoon awake beside you. You knew that he meant no trouble, but he gave you the face of ‘this again?’ and you could no longer push it aside. 

“Baby?” Namjoon’s voice is tired and filled with sleep, but he asks anyways while patting your back gently, as he always does when this happens like the sweet fiancé he is. “What happens in these dreams anyways?”

How do you tell your husband-to-be and boyfriend of seven years that you get completely ruined by another man in your sleep? 

Namjoon was far too sweet and innocent to get mad at you for this and you knew that. Yet the guilt never stopped you from feeling terribly about the situation. 

“You won’t be upset with me?” Your voice comes out as a whisper. 

Namjoon stands to turn on the nightlight by the bed before he lays back and wraps his strong arms around your waist. “Baby, look at me.”

With heavy eyes, you look back at your fiancé. 

His palm cradles your soft cheek, pushing a loose hair behind your ear. “I could never be upset with you, my love. It might help to talk your nightmares through. I’ll be right here with you baby.”

With shaking hands, you take a deep breath. “Well, I don’t know where they come from, but there’s this man in my dreams.” 

Namjoon raises a brow, doing his absolute best to understand you even while the clock reads in bold 3:44am. 

“This man, he’s dressed in all black. He— he has these dark eyes.” 

“Dark eyes?” 

“Yeah, he— his eyes are dark, sharp all around, it’s sinister.” 

“Okay. What happens?” He whispers, pulling you even closer into him, your hand falls into his chest for comfort.

“He— he…” You struggle finding the right words. 

Namjoon’s eyes go wide. “Baby, d-does he hurt you?”

No. Of course not. In fact, he does the opposite. The man pleases you until you can’t give him anymore and he leaves you with sore limbs and the burning stretch between your legs as a reminder of what he’s done to you and what he’s capable of. 

You quickly shake your head. “No but he- he touches me and does things to me.”

“Oh honey, why would I be mad at you about that? That’s completely unacceptable. Nobody should be touching you or doing things to you if you don't want it. I see now why this bothers—” 

“Joonie, I feel,” you start and swallow the awful feeling in your throat, “ I feel like… if I've been cheating on you.”

“Baby, I know you would never. They’re just nightmares after all. It’s not like you enjoy it baby.” This is what you mean by Namjoon’s too innocent and kind-hearted to see past the lines between your words. 

“But- I.”

“Wait… do you? Do you enjoy them?” Namjoon almost looks hurt to ask the question, but he’s quick to reassure you. “It’s okay baby, if you do.” 

“I do.” You whisper like it’s some dirty secret.

There’s a pregnant pause before Namjoon pulls you completely flush against his body, rubbing circles behind your back. “It’s okay baby, it's okay. They’re just nightmares. They mean nothing.” 

He kisses your hair for comfort and you let out a sob because they are much more than that to you and you know it. They are all you can think about. Shit, you think if you were given the chance, you would actually let that man have his way with you in real life. And it makes you feel disgusting because you know you enjoy this dynamic way too much.

At first, it was terrifying, you didn’t know the man and he, well he just became a weakness and you wanted him so bad, as much as you hated to admit it. Your imagination was a powerful tool. Why you and why with him? Why couldn’t your dreams be with Namjoon, your high school sweetheart?

“I’m so sorry, Joonie. For all these long nights. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The nightmares don’t stop, in fact they only feel longer and they get worse.” You cry into his chest. 

“I know honey, it’s not your fault. Just think of me whenever you feel this way, okay?” He pulls back, wiping your tears off with his sleeves. Your fiancé was so fucking sweet and that’s why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was never angry at you or disappointed. Namjoon was always patient with you and a complete sweetheart. God, you’re so fucking stupid. 

“And I’m not mad at you, okay? I never will be. Those nightmares mean nothing to me. I love you Y/N.” Your fiancé whispers into your hair, kissing the side of your face. 

Namjoon has always been way better than you because had you been in his shoes, you couldn’t phantom hearing about him enjoying the presence of another woman. He knew only one part of this story. Namjoon doesn’t know that you spend evenings, the time you have the house alone while he’s off at work, fucking yourself to this strange man’s voice in your head. That you open yourself up just how you do in your nightmares and you swear you hear his voice telling you to keep going. You swear you hear him calling your name asking you about how Namjoon would feel about this. Like if his whole purpose is to make you feel worse about the situation. He’s ruining your life and you’re letting him. You think you’ve given up and it’s just started.

“I- I love you too.” You reply.

Namjoon smiles apologetically, hands gentle against your skin. “Let’s sleep?”

You nod and he pulls you against his hard chest, rubbing your back while he attempts to lull you back to sleep. It eventually comes, but not before you wake to those dark eyes again and the nightmare continues. This time you don't even fight it. He fucks you until you feel yourself collapse and you swear nothing has ever felt better. 

…

The next morning Namjoon gently shakes you awake. “Good morning my love, you slept through your alarm. I figured you could take a day off so I called your boss to let him know you couldn’t come in today. I hope you don't mind.” 

“Joonie?” Your voice is the cutest in the mornings (according to Namjoon), he smiles watching you struggle to wake up. 

“Yes, my baby. I’m just getting ready to leave for work, but I wanted to say goodbye before I leave.”

Well, it’s not like you have a choice so you accept your fate. “Oh, okay. Thank you.”

“No problem, honey. You slept quite well. You didn’t even wake up this time! Did it help? Talking through it?” Again, Namjoon could be so clueless. 

The only reason you slept this well is because you were fucked into oblivion in your dream. As unbelievable as it may sound, you even felt sore down there. But he doesn’t have to know that, so he’ll just go off to work thinking that cuddles and his sweet words drifting you back to sleep actually worked. 

“Yeah… yeah it did. Thank you again. Have a nice day at work.” You say, still warmly tucked in bed. 

“I will, baby. ” He drops a peck into your cheek, smelling the fresh scent of his aftershave. “Call me if anything. See you later, my love.”

And like that you are left alone once again. The only thing that remains is the fluffy feeling of his plump lips buzzing against your cheek, a faint reminder that you are loved and have been for years, while you think about another man, one that only exists in your deepest darkest of dreams. 

—-

Hoseok doesn’t remember how it happened. All he knew is he was standing in a place unknown, sensing there was another being in the room with him. 

It's not his first time around a mortal human. No, in fact he had so much experience with lustful humans with all kinds of desires and wishes, but it has been quite long since he was manifested this strongly into someone’s dreams. 

His favorite part was watching them act as if they didn’t ask for it. Call for him. They would lie and say that they could never fuck a dead being. A ghost at that. As if they didn’t manifest him themselves. 

It's not like it was Hoseok’s fault for dying young and handsome and that now he tends to people’s guiltiest pleasures. It's not like he has anything better to do in the after-life. In reality, he’s doing people a grand fucking favor. The best thing about fucking a dead ghost is there’s absolutely no consequences, at least that’s what he always tells his victims. Unless you get addicted to one, then that’s really a personal problem. They can’t stay on mortal land forever, but for the time being Hoseok has become attached to his time here. Especially with his new little mortal toy. 

When he first heard the calling, he almost missed it. He was fucking another mortal, a man in his mid-twenties to be exact. The man had called for him in his dreams and he attended to his duty with pleasure. 

This man had a thing for clowns and Hoseok wasn’t no fucking clown, but he did his best to please him. His outfit was in all black (of course, it was his favorite color) and fit him quite well though it was different from his usual style, even down to the clown hat and all.

The guy would scream under Hoseok as he would pound into him like some fuck-doll and would have him come undone within minutes. He was so fucking easy to please. They always are.

When Hoseok came to you the first night. That’s how you found him. He still had the same outfit on (he was ripped from the last dream) and his hat had nearly fallen off in the process, but he was pleased when he came across his next victim. You were beautiful. 

“Who— who are you?” You screeched, covering yourself up, cheeks flushed. You had been doing unspeakable things to yourself in the dream. “What are you doing in my room?!”

Hoseok smiles. God, they always are the same. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and don’t mind me, keep doing what you were doing before I had rudely interrupted.”

The stranger goes to sit by the vanity in your room, making himself extremely comfortable as if it is a regular Tuesday night for him. 

You try to stand and it's like something washes over you. The strange force pushes you back down and you have no choice but to take it. 

The man chuckles, throwing his hat aside. “Don’t hurt yourself trying. Just let your instincts guide you. Tell me what it is you want, this will all go much smoother and much faster.” 

The stranger in black winks and you feel disgusted (though your pussy doesn’t seem to agree with you).

Still you manage to say, “I want you to get out of my fucking room. I’m about to get married, you know and he’ll fucking kill you.” 

“Ohhh.” He purrs, standing as he walks across the room. He stops a couple steps from your bed and leans down to match your height. “But you asked for me to come, baby. So guess what? Now I am your problem.”

He pinches your nose, wrinkling his own in the process and flashes a charming smile. 

You swat his hand off you almost immediately. “I— I didn’t ask for anything. I don’t even know you and I don’t want to know you.” 

“Mm, but soon we’ll know each other very well. Let’s not fight this.” The man’s voice is silky and you could practically see the sinful desire in his eyes while they take in your naked figure. 

You have no idea what he even means by that, but right now you could care less. This is just a nightmare and soon enough, he will disappear and you will get to go back to doing what you were doing before he ever existed. 

“Leave me alone please.” 

The guy puts his hands up clearly coming and going in peace, while retreating back a few steps. “Whatever you say princess. I’ll be back when you’re ready.” 

And just like that the man disappeared into a black distorted shadow. 

He shows up only three nights later. 

This time he catches you on your knees, riding a dildo on your bed. You don’t even hear him until he’s in front of you. Your hips stop mid roll. Whimpering as you feel the tug on your hair.

“Seems you’re ready.” He rasps, having a strong grip on your hair forcing you to look up at him. 

“I— who the fuck are you? Seriously? What do you want with me? I know I’m dreaming and I can wake up any secomd so what the fuck do you want with me.” This time you don’t even entertain him. It’s clear this man has his own vulgar intentions, you wanna skip the small talk. He doesn’t seem like the type to give up until he gets exactly what he wants. 

“The better question is what do you want with me. You manifested me after all, darling.” 

Your eye twitches at the pet name, but you ignore it, for now. “But— I don't know you. How is that fucking possible?”

Even though he knows you won't understand it completely, he still answers truthfully. “I’m dead baby. Anything is possible.” 

Great, so you’re just supposed to believe this man is some ghost haunting you in your dreams. Perfect!

This time you don’t ignore his stupid use of pet names. “S-Stop calling me that.” 

“Oh?” The man pouts, and to be honest that does something to you. If the situation was different maybe you would admit he looks fucking sexy, even if he’s a menace. 

His brows furrow, his jawline clenching as he speaks. “Is there another pet name you like? We’re already getting farther than last time, princess.” 

You don’t even attempt to hold back the scoff, your eyes roll back. “No. I don’t— I didn't ask for you and I don’t want you bothering me anymore. Just please leave me alone. Please.”

The man groans, looking down at you with hooded eyes, the fist in your hair grips harder reminding you that he still had you under his control. “God, but you sound perfect begging. Are you sure of that, kitten?”

The man's voice drops in a sultry tone, nearling purring while he speaks. And somehow, that manages to slip a whine from your throat, nearly drooling at the sight. 

Your eyes immediately widen. “I— I didn't mean that.”

“Oh, so that’s what you like.” The man smiles, petting your head affectionately. You were fucked. “Of course you didn't. You were so close weren't you, kitten?” 

You shake your head, you’re unable to look away, but at the same time you want to throw his hands off you. You felt completely powerless under his gaze and you were liking it a lot more than you would like to admit. 

“Don’t bother lying to me princess, I can smell it. You were so fucking close.” He whines the last part, biting his bottom lip, he seems to breathe in the scent. “So fucking close. I’m sorry. I always join at the worst times, you can continue.” 

He offers like a fucking weirdo, pervert and still you disgustingly want it. 

“I said, don't call me that!” Your hand flies to his and forces it off you. 

“Then talk to me.” He’s rough, but firm with his tone. 

“No. I don’t- can't and I won't. Go bother someone else.” 

“I can’t. You asked for me and you brought me here. Now you have to deal with this.” He doesn't attempt to put his hands back on you, but he does let his gaze wander seeing as you still haven’t moved from your dildo. 

“This is bullshit. It’s just in my head anyways. If I close my eyes it’s like you aren’t even here. Now let me fucking come in peace.” Your eyes closed in the middle of your rant and he seemed to listen. Hoseok backs off, watching you from your wall to be exact, but he lets you take care of yourself. That’s what he’s there for after all. 

After a few seconds of calming yourself down and regaining your arousal, you slowly lift yourself up feeling the dildo pull against your walls and you drop yourself back down. 

Hoseok was right, you weren’t too far away from coming, but he messed up your pace and now you have to work yourself back up. 

It doesn’t take too long before you set a quick pace, fucking yourself onto the silicone length. 

Truly it wasn’t that you and Namjoon’s sex life was bad, in fact he was the best fuck of your life (not that you had much experience given he was your high school sweetheart) but after years of being together, things had changed, a lot. 

You don’t even remember the last time you guys got creative in bed, besides a few vibrators from time-to-time. It was starting to get boring and you didn't want to admit this to him, but you wanted so much more. It's like your body was begging for it. And you didn’t want to hurt his feelings by saying it, so instead you kept it to yourself and the sexual frustration built up overtime making it impossible not to think about constantly. 

You gasp when you finally open your eyes to find the man watching you with heavy lidded eyes from your wall, he’s not even touching himself, but you can see he’s hard in his pants. 

He licks his lips as he watches you jump down on the dildo ferociously. Your eyes make contact and that's when everything seems to explode.

Moans start slipping from your lips and you feel the knot in your stomach start to build quickly. The silicone molds around your walls perfectly, feeling the tip brush against your sweet spot repeatedly, fisting the sheets below you. 

Hoseok’s nose seems to flare and he can practically taste your arousal in the air. He watches as you bounce on that useless dildo, wishing it was his cock instead. Your mouth falls open, drool nearly spilling while you feel the knot coming undone.

It isn’t long before Hoseok finally decides to speak and it does wonders. “Come, you fucking slut.”

Fuck.

On call, you come and he’s forced to watch you moan and writhe against your sheets, feeling the dildo slowly push out of you. 

He pushes himself off the wall and comes towards you and you feel too exhausted to push him away. You are laying in the middle of your bed now, dildo still between your legs but it’s fallen out. 

You feel as he pushes the dildo back inside you overstimulating your used hole as he fucks it into you deeply. You really, really shouldn't let this happen. You are going to be a married woman soon for fuck’s sake, but it all feels so fucking good- risky yet new, so you can’t help but to feed into temptation. 

Sadly, your body denies it, for now at least. “N-No I can't. Not anymore.”

His action comes to a halt. “I know. Maybe next time, kitty.” 

And he disappears once again. 

Disappointment and guilt builds all too quickly. 

Disappointed that he didn’t stay and fuck you until you passed out. And guilt that you just came in the eyes of another man and on his call. 

—-

As expected, you spend your whole day off thinking about the stranger. The way he looks at you, the way he bites his bottom lip while taking you in. The way he grips your hair and clenches his sharp, symmetrical jawline when he has you falling apart in his hands. You could feel his touch, it’s impossible you know, but it all feels too real and it all happens so fast. 

He had a name now. He told you in one of your dreams while he was taking you from behind. 

“Say my name kitten. Who’s fucking you this good? Fuck, what a sight from behind. You’re just perfect all around, aren’t you?” Hoseok’s hands grip onto your ass cheeks, fucking into your pussy brutally. He hasn’t stopped pounding into you and it’s already been ten minutes. Maybe more? Maybe less? You stopped counting. Good dick leaves you feeling stupid. 

“H-Hoseok.” You whimper into your pillow, you think you have officially lost your fucking mind. 

“What?” You swear you can hear the smirk on his lips. 

“Hoseok.” You’re louder this time, but your voice is muffled, face falling into your pillow. 

“Louder slut!” There’s a sting on your ass and he has a fistful of your hair, lifting your face from up the pillow while he continues to ram into you from behind. You realize you are so fucking close and he knows it too, you try to meet his strong thrusts, but it’s no use because it knocks the air from under you. He manages to hold you up with a strong grip. “Fuck, fuck. You’re so tight around me, kitty. You gonna come on my dick now like a good slut? Huh?” 

“Yes!” This time your voice is loud and you scream without holding back. “Hoseok! Hoseok! Oh, nghh… fuck, Hoseok!” 

His name falls from your lips over and over while you come on his cock, just like he asked of you. That satisfies him enough and he squirts his own orgasm all over your plump ass, watching you come down from your own afterglow.

You had come to the fucked conclusion that the only way to possibly fucking fix something like this (as sick as it may sound) is to fuck it away. You had to tell Namjoon, maybe experiment a bit more just so you can finally get this man out of your head. Regain your peace of mind. Namjoon would do anything you’d ask of him, you could assure that. You just had to find a way to tell him so he wouldn’t feel it was his fault or as if he was lacking. Or you could just not tell him. 

Either way you think fucking this away would help for the time being at least.

Sex is a very special and intimate practice and that’s genuinely how it always felt with Namjoon. He always took his time with you and fucked you slow and deep. 

Before, you will admit that it was nice and that’s why he attracted you so much but now, you don’t want it to be nice or slow. You want someone to play rough, break your limits, and touch you in places you haven’t been touched before. You want to be tossed around, fucked until you can’t speak any coherent sentences. Was that just too much to ask for? 

(Hoseok sure didn't think so.)

Right as you had finished cooking dinner, Namjoon made his way through the front door, setting his work bag down by the coat rack.  

“You’re cooking?” Namjoon asks, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you in for a quick kiss. “Smells good.” 

“Yeah, I figured you deserved a nice meal to come home to. I didn’t have much else to do.” You swiftly kiss him back.

Namjoon pulls you in closer, arms holding you tightly. He still smells as fresh as he did when he first left. “I told you to rest, my love. You didn’t have to do anything.” 

“I know, I know. I really wanted to though. Let’s just eat, we'll talk after.” He nods and kisses your cheek once more. 

“Let's eat then.”

…

Namjoon decides a movie night is needed on a night like tonight. 

You were more clingy than usual (and of course, he loves it). So he puts on a random movie and allows you to cuddle him up to the fullest of your extent. 

“You’re so cuddly today, my love.” Namjoon whispers into your hair, mid-movie. 

“I just missed you is all.” And you really did, it's been long since you and Namjoon had an intimate night (maybe since these dreams started), you think it's finally time. 

He smiles rubbing his hand down your arm. “I missed you too honey.” 

You lift your head from his chest and lean in slowly, he immediately picks up on the drift and leans down to meet your lips. 

His lips are soft against yours, kissing you with gentle movements. His palm comes to rest on your cheek while you escalate the kiss. 

Your tongue comes up slowly and he lets you in quite easily. You take a hand and rake it down his chest, pulling yourself on his lap carefully. 

You start to slowly whine your hips, making it all too obvious about what you need and want. Namjoon follows along without complaints. 

“Do you wanna?” Namjoon asks, a bit breathless, bringing his forehead against yours. 

“Yes.” You whisper. “Yes, please.”

Namjoon smiles and steals one last kiss before he attempts to stand, thinking it would be best to move this to the bed, but you hold him down with a shove to his abdomen. 

“No. I want it, right here.” You say, finding yourself a little breathless yourself, you needed this. 

His eyes seem to widen for the moment, but he seems to agree and pulls you back in for a kiss, this time he lets his tongue push into your mouth further exploring. He tastes the sweet tang of red wine on your tongue and he groans into the kiss. 

You pull back only for a second as you get rid of your shirt and he starts to unbutton his own. Once the shirts are off, you tug your bra off freeing your breast and bring your lips back together with great force. 

Though he doesn’t complain, Namjoon is in shock. He hasn’t seen you this needy and desperate in years, he thinks? Or at least he doesn’t remember it like that. He lets you rut against his already hard member and kisses you with equal passion.

The next time he pulls away, he tugs on your leggings and he helps you out of them. Typically your panties come down with it, but you decide you’ll just push them aside. You return the offer by pushing his jeans down, including his briefs, his dick slaps against his stomach weighing heavy. 

Your mouth instantly waters, but right now you want him inside the rest will just have to come another time. 

Namjoon looks at you with so much love and admiration and for a minute, the guilt comes crashing down. You want him, you know you do so why is the guilt still there? Is it because even as you have your lover right where you want him all you can think about is how the stranger (Hoseok) from your dreams would have had you flipped onto the couch and had his way with you hours ago. Maybe he would have fucked you against the kitchen counter, defile the damn marble. Maybe he would have taken you right against your front door, like the slut you wanted to be for him. All you know for sure is he wouldn’t have let this much time pass. 

You shake your stupid thoughts away and look back up at your fiancé. This is where you want to be. Where you fucking belong. Without letting your imagination run wild, you rub yourself against Namjoon’s hard length, spreading your arousal all over him. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet baby.” He bites a moan back, feeling your warm juices, slicken his cock. 

You moan against his mouth when you feel the tip latch on to your hole, slowly sinking down on him. You feel his cock stretch your warm walls and he feels he could come already. It's just been so long (can anyone really blame him). 

You bring your hips up a bit before crashing back down feeling the burn on your tight heat. 

“So warm and tight baby.” His hands land on your hips, toying with the band of your panties. “Come here.”

Namjoon brings you flush against his chest slowing your movement, his lips crash into yours. The kiss feels much different from before. He doesn’t hold back, as soon as your tongue clashes with his, he sucks and bites it playfully. You groan into his mouth, accidentally squeezing harder against his length. 

“Fuck baby, just like that.” His dick twitches deeply against your velvety walls, you can tell he’s holding back. “I think I’ll come soon if you continue like this.”

Like hell, you’ll let him come now, you’ve barely had your fill. Without no desire to, you slowly slide off his dick, dropping knees first onto the cold floor below you. 

“Baby–” Namjoon starts, but you push his hands away as he tries to pull you back up.

“Let me do this, you’ll last longer.” He hesitates, but eventually surrenders, laying his hands aside. “Don’t be scared to use your hands, use my mouth, Joonie.”

Fuck. How could his own perfect, sweet wife-to-be sound this seductive? He hasn’t heard you talk this way since college. And it’s been years since that. He thought the years of young, hot sex were over but he’s been wrong all along. His fiancée was the sexiest woman in the world, that he was sure of. 

Namjoon’s hands find your hair and push you towards his glistening length. It’s already drying, shame, you thought, let’s keep it warm and wet. 

Wrapping hands around it, you take his cock into your mouth, sliding your tongue across the slit, hearing a raspy moan come from Namjoon’s throat. “That’s it baby, God your mouth feels incredible.”

The tip of his cock weighs heavy against your tongue. He’s breathing heavy, while he watches you take him in further. You warm his cock with your mouth just as nicely as when you were on top of him. 

Hollowing your cheeks, you take him as far as you could go, hearing his desperate grunts. Namjoon takes a grip of your hair (he’s still very gentle with it and you try not to be disappointed) and pushes you just a bit further, feeling your throat stretch around him. “F-Fuck baby. I really won’t last.” 

You tap his thigh and he immediately lets go when he sees your eyes water. You pull off with a pop to catch your breath. “I know.”

Your voice is raspy and it’s the sexiest thing Namjoon has ever heard. And you know exactly how to make this whole situation better. Sometimes, a little whiny purr in your voice is all that’s needed to get exactly what you need. “I just want you to come down my throat. Please, fuck my throat daddy.”

Now if Namjoon wasn’t sure he could bust before, he could definitely nut in your fist right in that instant. Yes, he has a daddy kink, sue him. 

“Come here.” Namjoon demands, doesn’t hesitate this time to tug you up a little harder and place you in his lap, before he shoves your back against the couch.

“W-What are you doing?” You ask, but the answer is pretty obvious when you see him line his cock up to your hole.

“Fucking you. I’m gonna come inside you. Don’t worry baby, I won’t stop fucking you until you are statisfied.” It’s like music to your ears, his hard member slaps against your clit before he slowly eases back inside you. 

Both moaning at the feeling, he lets you adjust for a few seconds, but you waste no time to wrap your legs around his hips and pull him close. 

“Please daddy, just fuck me.” You whine into his ear. 

This time Namjoon pulls back and right before he slides out, he slams back in, balls smacking into your ass. He fucks you just like that for a while. He’s fast but skilled, finding your sweet spot quite easily. It reminds you both of older times, when things were much easier, when you were both young and easily influenced.

You moan loudly into his neck, toes curling as he fucks his dick deep inside you. “Right there daddy, please don’t stop.”

Sweat starts forming on his forehead and his hair that had once been held back by gel begins sticking to skin. It isn’t a surprise to feel him thrust harder and faster, his tongue poking at his cheek as he concentrates. “Fuck baby, I really missed fucking you just like this. You feel so tight around me, look so fucking sexy, just like this baby.” 

You eat up his praise, biting your bottom lip as you feel the tight grip he has on your hips, drilling into you like he used to. Fuck, maybe you were right. This was exactly what you needed. There’s no Hoseok in your head right now. No unwanted thoughts in your mind. It’s just you and Namjoon. How it always should have been. 

A whimper falls between your lips and you feel Namjoon leaving hickey’s around your tits, covering them beautifully with his own little marks. 

Your legs start to shake around him, and warmth starts spreading through you quickly. “Daddy— I- I think I’m gonna fucking come.” 

Namjoon grunts, mouth around your nipple while he pulls off to speak. “Yeah baby? You wanna come?”

Yes. 

No.

Not really.

Preferably you would like him to control your fucking orgasm, flip you around, start pounding into you until you can’t hold yourself together but this will have to do. 

“Y-Yeah. I wanna come.” 

“Come sweetheart.” It’s not long before you moan sweetly through an orgasm, Namjoon fucks you through it as promised and you feel like you are levitating, he maintains sinful eye contact. His thrust starts to become sloppy and you feel the instant he lets go. 

“Inside daddy, inside.” With one final strong stroke, Namjoon comes deep inside you, his breathy moans feel hot against your ear. 

There’s a few minutes of heavy breathing, settling into the couch below you. Namjoon’s breaths follow close behind yours, arm tucked below your breasts, he lays behind you. 

“You were so wonderful my love, I’m sorry we don’t do that enough.” Namjoon breaks the silence, kissing the side of your head.

For the twentieth time that week, guilt falls heavy onto your chest. You didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve this. 

“No, don’t apologize Joonie. It’s my fault, really. I’ve just been… out of it. But I feel much better. All thanks to you. Thank you, thank you for everything you do for me and our home.” You start getting emotional, but you don't let your tone waver. You didn’t want him to know. 

“You know I’d do it all for you, my love” He whispers into your hair, kissing along the soft skin behind your neck. “I can’t wait to marry you baby.” 

There it is again, guilt. 

“I know, I know. Me either.”

“I love you.” He doesn't hesitate to remind you sweetly. 

It hurts to say it with all that is going through your mind, but you force a reply anyway. “I love you too.” 

…

Sleep comes over you quickly that night. 

Finally, you had fucked your sweet and loving fiancé and for once, your dreams don’t start off with you fucking yourself into an orgasm. 

In fact, you don’t dream, at least you don't recall. 

Hoseok immediately knows something is different when he arrives. He doesn’t smell arousal in the air, no this time he can tell you’ve been fucked. He can smell the come leftover deep inside your walls. He’s impressed to say the least. 

He watches your chest rise and fall, a small pout framing on your lips. You sleep beautifully, he thinks you will look even better after he’s done with you for today.

With careful steps, he makes his way to the end of your bed, you jerk your arm so suddenly in your sleep and he holds back a laugh. He’s quiet when he sits besides your sleeping head, gentle fingers run through your hair. 

“Mm.” You hum sweetly in your sleep, molding against his touch, thinking it was your husband-to-be playing with your hair like he normally does. 

Before you hear him say, “someone had a good night. Isn’t that right kitten?”

Your eyes widen, nearly jumping out of bed, but Hoseok’s hands stop you from moving. “It’s just me baby.”

“H-How?” Your voice is raspy with sleep. “You were supposed to be gone.”

Hoseok smiles wide, hand still caressing the back of your head. “Did you really think that would happen, kitten?”

“Yes.” 

“You let him fuck you.” He says like he knows for sure it's a fact. He doesn’t look too happy about it and your deafening silence answers his unspoken question. He pats your cheek. “Naughty kitty.” 

You gulp, his pretty hand wrapping around your throat as he asks the next question. “Did you like it?”

“Yes.” It’s not a lie and he knows it too. 

“Yeah? He fuck you better than me?” You gulp again.

“Yes.” No.

“Why do you lie to me, kitten?” His eyes flash red (they don’t), but the look he gives you is enough to warn you. Things are about to get serious so fast. “I know everything.”

You know that saying people say about fucking around and finding out. You were about to fuck around and find out real fucking fast that Hoseok doesn’t play with his toy. 

“Then what the fuck are you going to do about it, huh?” The only warning you get is Hoseok’s smile and then he’s fisting your hair tightly. Jawline clenched, watching as his eyes hood and darken. 

“Fuck yourself open, you slut.” He drops the grip on your hair and stands, serious look on his face, he’s not fucking around at all tonight. His hands are quick, tugging his belt off. “Make it quick.”

When he sees you still haven’t moved, a warning comes to you by a strong fistful of hair, shoving you so closely against his face. His breath hits yours, but your lips don’t touch, even though they are so fucking close. You’re tempted to steal a kiss from those soft looking lips, but you’ve acted up enough. “I said, fuck yourself open.”

He drops his grip, letting your head fall into the mattress. Hoseok’s voice is strong and demanding so you stop fucking around and pull the sheets off your body. His eyes fall on your breasts, they are covered in hickey’s freshly made by Namjoon and he tries not to let that affect him. But damn him, he wishes it was him instead. He knows you would never sleep unsatisfied. He would always make sure you slept fucked and sated. Even if that meant, falling asleep on his cock. 

There’s a slight burn when your finger finds its way to your pussy. Namjoon did a number on you, but it makes it easier to fuck yourself open. His come still settling deep inside you.

Hoseok has his shirt off now and he tugs his briefs and pants down all at once, his cock springs out, looking delicious as ever. You hear a dark chuckle behind you. “Uh-uh, wrong hole kitty, I’m fucking that ass tonight.” 

You whimper when his hand comes to stop your movements. 

“I’m not fucking that dirty hole. Turn around. I wanna see you from behind.” He’s not putting it up for question. You push yourself up on your knees and fall back against the bed, lifting your ass towards his direction. 

He curses behind you and smacks your ass. Leaving a red hand mark behind, it almost is as pretty as your face. “Fuck kitten, you really are pretty all around. Fuck that hole open for me.” 

You feel spit hit your hole and your index finger rubs his saliva around your rim. Your chest is heavy, this time for different reasons, you are completely breathless. 

You can’t see Hoseok, but you hear as he opens the drawer beside your bed, it’s where you kept all your toys and lube. You are a finger-deep inside your ass when you hear the lube cap open, Hoseok is kind enough to warm the lube a bit between his fingers before he rubs against your rim and finger. He lets a bit of the lube dribble down your ass cheeks. Hoseok likes it a bit messy and wet. He clicks it close and tosses it besides you. 

“My perfect submissive slut.” He whispers, hands settling on your ass as you finger yourself open with two fingers now, the burn hurts but it feels so damn good. Namjoon has never fucked your ass, but it has always been one of your sexual desires. Nothing could ever compare to an orgasm through anal and Hoseok has taught you a lot about that. 

Another glob of spit hits your rim and you feel him squeeze a finger in. The burn of three fingers tear through you, moaning into the sheets.  “Mm, fuck.” 

He grins watching you hold back moans, biting your lips hard. 

“Maybe I should punish you tonight.” He suggests, still fucking his finger in your ass alongside your own. “If you come like this I’ll let you suck my dick if I’m still feeling nice.”

You complain, turning around to face him, back still arched. “No… please, please Hoseok. F-Fuck me. Fuck my ass.” 

“No.” He’s cold like usual and you know he won’t budge so it's no use. 

“But I-I’ve been waiting patiently. I thought all day about you.” It almost sounds like a purr and Hoseok loves it, spanking the fat in your hips this time with an unoccupied hand. His finger is still deep inside your ass and doesn’t let down. 

“Yeah? Tell me about that.” He starts to jerk himself off in the process, the leftover lube in his fingers makes the slide easier, his tongue wets his lips while he maintains eye contact. 

Your cheeks are burning but you continue, “I thought about your huge cock splitting me open. Forcing me to take you e-even when I can’t anymore. I thought about you spitting into my messy hole like you always do. I thought about you fucking me open against the door. Even the kitchen counter. All day, I’ve missed you all day.”

This seems to satisfy him enough so he plays nice. “Turn over. On your back. Show me those tits.”

He pulls his finger out slowly and you miss it immediately but you listen, your own fingers slide out as you turn around for him. His knees hit the bed pulling your thighs apart as he falls between them, his arm falling beside your head. He’s still fisting his hard length, watching your tits rise and fall as you breathe. 

His tongue comes out and licks around your breasts purposely avoiding your nipple. “You let him mark you.” 

“He’s my husband-to-be.” You answer, holding back a moan when he sucks on your skin, gentle enough not to make any marks. “Of course, I did.” 

“Mm.” He hums into your skin, it vibrates and your pussy responds to this, leaking arousal into the sheets. “What else did you let him do, kitten?” 

“He fucked me.” You whisper, practically vibrating below him. 

“Oh I know that. I smell it.” He looks like he wants to laugh, but instead continues sucking around your other breast, giving both tits the attention they deserve. 

“Squeeze them together.” He orders and you listen quickly. His tongue slides and sucks between them, still avoiding your nipples and it drives you insane. You want to feel him. 

“Please.” Your voice is weak.

“Please what?” He asks, looking up dumbfounded, but he knows exactly what you want. He’s making you work for it. “Tell me kitten. What do you want?” 

“Y-Your mouth.” You struggle. 

“Where?” He breathes out, right on top of your nipple, tongue nearly sliding against it. 

“R-Right there.” Your eyes never move. 

You watch as he sticks his long, pink tongue out and very slowly licks your already hardened nipple. 

“Here?” He asks between his own breaths and you moan softly, sounding sweet against his ears.

“Yes.” You whisper-moan. 

He drops his cock, letting it hit your cunt while he starts to suck on your nipples like they deserve. There’s nothing sweet and gentle about this. It’s like he wants to replace Namjoon’s love bites and leave you with his own. 

He switches off onto the previous breast and his hand comes to play with your other breast while he attends to the new one. He licks and sucks harshly, bruising your tender skin. You writhe against him, pussy brushing along his cock, but his hand comes to halt your actions quickly with a strong grip on your hip. 

“Be good, slut.” Is all he says before he continues marking your breasts and you can’t do a single thing, but moan and whine underneath him, feeling empty. The memory of Namjoon is long forgotten. 

Once Hoseok is satisfied with his work. He grins and pulls away. He grabs the bottle of lube beside you and lathers his cock in it. “Should I fuck you now?”

You are quick to nod and you feel bubbly. 

Finally. 

“Yeah? You think you deserve it?” He tempts and teases, his lubed fingers touch your chin and you open with ease, taking all three fingers he offers you inside your mouth. You suck hard and watch him bite his lip.  

You moan around his fingers, his other hand gripping his slicken cock and you feel it catch around your rim. 

“Beg for it, slut.” He slides his fingers out, saliva drips down your chin, you probably look a mess but you don't even care anymore. The sinful desire and lust is ten times worse than any other feeling. 

“Please, Hoseok. Please.” You beg. “I’d do anything. Anything.” 

He sees red for two seconds and then he says. “Then keep your legs open for me. Try to stay awake. Don’t disappoint me this time, kitten.” 

There’s no warning for when he plunges his hard length inside your slicked rim. You know he won’t be going anywhere near your pussy, keeping his promise. You didn’t deserve it. You let someone else use your hole and now he’s punishing you. 

“Oh. My. God.” You moan, it fucking burns, but soon his thrusts turn into pleasure and his cock brushes your sweet spot. It’s like he’s known you all your life, knowing the exact way to tear you apart, piece by piece. 

“Ghost actually, not God, but I’ve met him. He’s not the sweet and forgiving man everyone mentions he is.” Hoseok says this all while buried deep between your ass cheeks and you would actually laugh about this if the situation was different, but instead you moan and clench around him feeling his balls slap faster against your ass. “That’s it kitten, lose your fucking mind.”

And that is exactly what you do.

Hoseok continues ramming his hips into yours for a few minutes, you aren’t speaking clearly anymore so he doesn’t understand a word you tell him, all he knows is that you must be feeling fucking ecstasy by the way you roll your eyes and yell moans. 

His hands grip your hips and he comes to a stop. “Face down. Ass up. I wanna see that ass while I pound it from behind.”

You don’t reply to him, but you seem to understand. With weak movements, you move and nearly fall face first into the bed, weak limbs. You don’t even have the strength to hold yourself together anymore. Hoseok is kind enough to help though, he places a pillow below your hips, just high enough so he can slide right back inside your tight ass. 

He hears your muffled moans against your bedsheets, watching you weakly grip them. 

“Such a nice ass. It’s a shame really.” Your ass bounces while he mounts you from behind, it’s fast but precise, hitting your walls just right at every harsh thrust. 

“W-What is?” He barely hears you reply. 

“That this ass isn’t played with enough and soon I’ll just be a fidget of your imagination. You’ll forget I ever existed and you’ll never, ever receive the sexual satifisation you deserve. But maybe, one day, when it’s your turn to go, you’ll meet me in the after-life and I’ll show you just how much I’ve missed this sweet ass.” The ghost’s voice almost sounds sad and you freeze. You don’t want this to end. No.

“T-Then don’t stop fucking me. Keep me here forever.” You whisper frantically, breath hot and heavy. 

“Oh trust me baby, I would if I could. For now, I won’t stop. Stay awake, kitten.” You don’t even notice you are falling unconscious, the stretch and burn of his cock is exhausting and your ass takes him greedily, but his words wake you. 

He grips the side of your hips, pressing his thumbs into your back as he sets a faster pace. Slamming and ramming his dick deep within you. The moans and gasps that slip from your mouth sound so pretty, God he really wishes it would never fucking end, but he feels you slipping between his hands already. 

What the fuck can he do? 

Hoseok is close himself, how could he not be? He’s been practically edging himself for hours and now that he has such a juicy ass at hand, with the most perfect woman he has ever seen, he could practically come inside your velvet walls right now. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You curse and moan below him, you tremple and shake, the knot inside your stomach is barely holding up. “‘M so close.”

He nods, forgets you can’t see him. He harshly tugs you around, still quite limp and weak between his arms. “Wanna see that face when you come on my cock.”

He plunges back inside, lips close to yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. And then you realize, he hasn’t kissed you. This entire time. He’s fucked you religiuosly for weeks on end and you don’t even know what those heart-shaped lips taste like against yours. Would they be as sweet as they look? Would he kiss you gently or would he be harsh and rough like the way he fucks? You wonder about it all at once and it makes you sad for a moment. You want a kiss. Why wouldn’t he kiss you? 

“Kiss me.” You breathe out, he’s grunting above your mouth still fucking you nice and deep. You are beyond positive you won’t be able to move your ass tomorrow but it’s worth it, it’s always worth it. 

He looks up and then looks back down, concentrating on his thrust, you moan but hold your ground. 

“Please. Kiss me.” You whisper, gasping when you feel the knot start to come undone. He knows you’re about to let go and this only drives him to bottom out faster and quicker. Skin smacking quickly against skin. Your asshole has been shaped and molded just for him. You’re loving every second of it, but he still hasn’t kissed you. 

Why?

Your arms weakly wrap around his shoulders, he breathes heavy and hot against your ear now. It’s messy, sweaty and his touch is usually rough, but it feels awfully gentle now. He’s still rough inside your soft walls, but something’s changed. 

“Hoseok.” You breathe, you’re so sad. 

He hums against your neck, avoiding your eyes. 

“Kiss me.” You plead again, he kissed your neck so softly, balls smacking harder and faster against your ass. “No, my lips.”

“Goodnight, kitten.” He whispers sounding sad into your ear before he lifts his face from your neck and those heart-shaped lips touch your softly, it’s almost sweet. You come undone as soon as you feel the touch of his magical lips and you swear you feel him come deep inside you.

It all disappears though. 

“Honey?” This time it's Namjoon, hand already around your waist. “You okay? Was it another nightmare?”

A tear falls down your face and Namjoon awes, bringing you into his warm embrace. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry.” 

Why are you crying? 

And where is Hoseok?

“I am too.” You simply say, crying harshly into his shoulder.

Hoseok watches the scene unfold from afar. He wishes you could feel the ache you’ve left him behind too and there isn’t a damn thing he could do but wait. 

“See you in the after-life kitten. There I’ll spoil you with all the kisses you deserve.”

You don’t hear him, but he knows he means well. Hoseok walks away permanently this time, he’s lost the feeling of his heart long ago, but he feels heavy-hearted and continues on his way to his next victim.  

Until next time.

[saetoru]

girl same i just wanna sit on nai’s lap and kiss him and squeeze his tiddies is that so much to ask

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。HUMAN — MILLION KNIVES (NAI).

「 SYNOPSIS 」 nai can’t bring himself to hate you—until you almost make him feel human, that is

☽ contents ⋮ gn! reader, slightly suggestive but also not rly, fluff if you squint but also idk if it’s rly fluff, kissing and all that good stuff lolz

☽ notes ⋮ y’all saw his tiddies in todays episode right. we all saw that right. we all lost our minds right. RIGHT.

“nai,” you whisper, hands traveling along his abs, feeling the ridges of his taught muscles before settling for his chest, squeezing slightly as you pant against his mouth, “nai, i want you.”

he scoffs, and he wants to glare at you, but your lips nip at his jaw, suck sweetly at the skin, make his eyes flutter shut and his breath turn erratic as he holds back a grunt when you find a spot on his neck that makes him particularly hungry for you.

nai doesn’t like you.

which is a step up, you suppose—if you were anyone else, he’d hate you. if you were any other human, he’d despise your existence. but, for some unknown reason to even himself, nai doesn’t hate you.

for some reason, it’s hard to hate you—it’s not like he sees value in you, or that he even finds you all that tolerable. you still feed off plants, off his kind, off his brethren. you’re still every bit as guilty as the rest of the disgusting likes of humans. but somehow, he thinks you’re a bit fascinating, so he settles for disliking you instead of his usual hatred.

and it’s not that he makes an exception for you—or so he tells himself, that is. it’s a complicated situation, really: you seated on his lap, his hands gripping your waist, your mouth molding against his, his chest rising and falling with every slow stroke of your palm over the skin. it’s all a bit too complicated when he knows you’re supposed to eventually be dead like everyone else when the time for a new world comes.

because nai doesn’t like you, and he certainly doesn’t need you around—but he does love the way you make him feel when you kiss him like that.

your hands are cupping his cheeks, thumb stroking over the mole on the right side of his face under his eye—and for a moment, just a moment and nothing more, this rare, foreign gentleness of a human erases the atrocities.

but knives dislikes you, and he’ll never give you the satisfaction of knowing he wants you too.

“pathetic,” he spits, “how pathetic of you to think you’ll have me.”

“ah, but i do have you, don’t i?” you hum cheekily. how bold of you, he thinks, how bold and downright foolish you are to speak to him with such confidence, such little regard for your life.

it’s almost as if…as if you trust him. like you trust him not to kill you, to let your bravery slide and look past it. how utterly naive—and yet, it makes him all the more fascinated by you, makes him want to keep you around so he can observe you some more. perhaps kiss you too, and feel the warmth of your hand against his cool skin.

“you’re certainly confident for—” he’s cut off with a small grunt when your mouth finds his again, and then your hand is trailing to find the back of his neck, and then his hair, and then your fingers thread through the locks slowly, deliberately, gently.

like you’re taking care of him, like you’re not using him or taking from him for your own gain. like you’re here just to give and give even if you can’t take.

and for a moment, nai wonders if you’re really human. you must be greater than that, he decides. you must be something far more divine than a human—and it must be why he’s unable to loathe you like the rest of humanity.

it must be it—it has to be, he almost reasons desperately. why else would he of all people melt under your touch like this?

“you can’t get rid of me,” you murmur, pressing sweet, delicate kisses to the corners of his mouth, scratching at his scalp with tenderness he’s only seen once from a human before. “im staying right here, nai. with you.”

“yes,” he decides, gripping your hips tighter, pulling you a tad bit closer, “yes you’ll stay right here. under my watch.”

and then you kiss him again, sat on his lap as your hands explore his chest and your lips chase his own—and nai decides maybe it’s not so hard to hate you, after all.

he hates the way you make him almost wish he was human for a short moment.

© hanmas do not plagiarize, repost, translate to other sites, or recommend on platforms outside tumblr such as tik tok

[platonicmoonwater00]

I see these everywhere. and i mean EVERYWHERE. and also i need motivation so lets go ig

10 notes- i'll drink on weekends too(i forget cos on weekends im just at home and not at school lugging around my frank green in my tote bag)

20 notes- i will(try to) pay attention in class

30 notes- i'll watch my whole watch later playlist on yt

50 notes- i'll actually do the techniques im learning in ✨therapy✨ to help with my anxiety and shitty social skills

75 notes- i'll take my iron tablets every day

100 notes- i'll start my assessments when i get them(i have one due tomorrow which i was gonna finish now but i'm doing this apparently)

125 notes- i'll ask my crush to hangout alone during spring holidays

150 notes- i'll try to go for a run or at least a walk every day

500 notes- i'll write another chapter of my fanfiction

1k notes- i will actually make an effort to get clean

2k notes- if i see someone pretty that i want to go out w in public i'll ask for their number cos holy fuck i need to put myself out there. even if we js end up being friends cos holy shit im lonely

3k notes- i will actually finished the dress i started making

4k notes- i will try to get over my crush cos its ✨never gonna happen✨(she so pretty and masc tho its gonna be hard)

5k notes- (this is so far up here cos idk how to do this so im gonnna need a lot of time to figure out how) im gonna try to demolish the rumour that im gay thats going around a bit.**

6k notes- i will finish all my crochet projects and not start any new ones until im done.

**context. i go to an all girls school and theres a lot of people so its not like everyone knows everyone, even in my year(theres approx. 174 in my year alone, and theres 6 year groups at my school cos high school is 7-12 where i live) but some people know me ig cos i know a few girl who are more notable, im in the top class and i recdntly started sitting with a group that the popular girls call furries.

(theyre a pretty big group and popular girls hate them cos one or two of them are trans - ftm, ftnb etc, no mtf cos my lovely/s catholic school wouldnt let trans girls in- several of them are gay, a few of them are emo, most of them are poc's and a few of them dont have english as their first language. overall they are seen as the "weird kids" in my year)

so this rumour apparently is going around that i like a girl in my class(i absolutely do but if you havent noticed my school is hella hoomophobic and i could very well get beat) which js isnt ideal and is gonna lead to a lot of issues, especially if a lot of people start believing it so if you guys have any advice pls lmk. and its not like i can js get a fake bf and show him off cos its a GIRLS SCHOOL. if i reconnect with a friend from primary school tho we could pretend to be dating and like make a post on social media. but then kids at his school would find out and hed either have to tell them its fake(which would eventually find its way back to my school, and when i say eventually i mean immediately) or he couldnt get a girlfriend so that probs wouldnt work.

i know it sounds like im making a mountain out of a molehill but ive got years to go here and i dont want to spend all my high school years getting bullied bc even if i went to a teacher about it or smthing id have to like analyse them first and try to figure out which ones are homophobic or not.

like learning about why "being gay is a sin"(pretend im saying that really mockingly) is literally in our curriculum.

holy shit that was longer than expected.

no pressure tags: @wishiwereheather13 @loserboyfriendrjl @fracturedsunsets @chasingthemoony @stars-and-leather @starsofleo

thats all im doing idk how you guys can stand js copy and pasting moots over and over i cant do this i did the first six that came up and that seems like enough 🤷‍♀️

begun doing

going to do

finished

[berryyjello]

Heyyyyy do you have a ref for your wynn character? I like seeing what people come up with for their wynn ocs and i think your lil fella is interesting 👀

bit of a rushed ref but HUZZAH!!!! MY LITTLE GOOBER!!!! I dont know Much of the backstory for the MC just yet so a lot of things are gonna change, but for now what i have is:

me and my friends love to joke i'm "in every universe" so W!Mika's archetype is Rift Walker cause. he's walking through time rifts.

His hair has Magical Burns due to the memory rehabilitation done in Fruma before he went to Ragni (at least thats what i THINK happened to him, idk just yet

At least until Recover The Past, him Tasim and Aledar were all very close, and somehow he convinced the other two to have matching braids with him! Now, if Tasim's braid will still be there by the time Mika sees him again, that is a great question

I told my friend to put something in W!Mika's design that i wouldn't understand until very later on, and they put the scar on his left eye, to which i made it into a "birthmark", my friend's wynn oc has very distressing thoughts about that

MASSIVE GOOF!!!! Cannot tell you the amount of times he got stuck somewhere he probably shouldn't be and wasted so many scrolls to save his skin 😭

He hates the feeling of losing soul points, so he tries not to die as much as possible, even if it means doing extra trainment

has a very odd fascination with Bob's life story, the last bit of info he's gotten so far was Nilrem's Sealed Letter, and in a less dramatic tone, was overjoyed to read Bob was, in fact, not straight. On a more serious tone, however, reading about what Nilrem did to protect both Bob and innocent people, had him very... disturbed, to say the least. He'd heard so many talk sbout "Bob's Tomb", only for it all to be fake? Something is not right.

OK IM VERY TRIED BUT UHHH FEEL FRRE TI ASK MORR STUFF I'M LISTENING VERY INTENTLY!!!!

[esmedelacroix]

13 days til' Christmas

christmas party with exhusband!toji fushiguro ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

cw: very suggestive(got carried away/honestly its smutty idk what's wrong with me), shower sex, unprotected p in v, angsty

a/n: y'all im so sorry this was supposed to be a fluffy little christmas post i swear. I also hate this and will probably rewrite though.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas was just around the corner. It was supposed to be a time of meeting family, gift-giving, and togetherness. Instead, you were stuck going through paperwork. Divorce paperwork.

You and your husband had agreed to divorce three months ago but the media still wouldn't know about it until you finished the last of the legal work.

You didn't know why but you couldn’t bring yourself to sign the final paper. It was so stupid that you were the one that suggested divorce and you couldn’t even stand to sign your own papers.

Toji probably already signed his and your lawyer(and his) were nagging the two of you about the papers.

It didn't help that you and Toji were in the same line of work. On top of that, you were both acting in the same romantic comedy show as love interests. The cherry on top was that the two of you got an invite to a Christmas party. It was only the most lavish Christmas party in all of Hollywood.

The two of you decided to go together because you were added to the guest list far before you divorced. It would be your last date. The two of you would have to make a huge effort to not argue in the middle of the party.

Your thoughts were beginning to tire you so you took one last look at the papers, unsigned again, like every other night for the past three months. You sighed as you picked up the book you had started when you and Toji were still sharing the bed you were now sitting in alone.

He had taken the liberty to move out a month after the divorce, leaving you your estate. You were in this big ass house with no one to share it with.

It was still the same house. The only difference was that Toji was gone and you were tucked into his side of the bed. It wasn't because you missed him or anything you were just there because you missed his scent and his warmth. But you didn't miss him, you were happy he was gone. Right? This is everything you wanted. Right?

You weren't wearing one of the button-ups that he had left on accident because you missed him. It just conveniently fits as a comfy oversized shirt for you.

You most certainly were not playing the old jazz songs that he liked to play when he forced you to slow dance with him because you missed him. You just never liked to admit to him that you kind of liked the songs that he played to his face.

As you slept, thoughts of him consumed, and for the first time you wondered, was this all a big mistake?

. . .

Weeks flew by as you found new crazy ways to keep your mind busy while your heart got heavier. As soon as you knew it, the day of the Christmas party arrived and you could finally call him without needing a stupid excuse.

You heard the line ring hoping and praying that he would answer so that you could hear his voice again after weeks of being starved of that beautiful sound.

"Hello?" he answered.

You sighed in relief as the vibrations of his voice entered your ears like water in a land of drought.

"Hey Toji, how much time do I have to get ready?" you asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He took some time to answer but soon replied, "I'll be there in three hours,"

"Okay, I'll be ready by then," you replied as you fiddled with the necklace that he gifted you for your first Christmas together as a married couple.

. . .

"I don't know what to get you, I know you'll like anything I give you but I want it to mean something," he said after asking you for the millionth time what you wanted for Christmas.

"I already told you I wouldn't be so upset if my gift was you[oiled up on the bed with whipped cream and fruit roll-ups in hand]," you replied.

"Please just give me one item to give you and I'll leave you alone,” he pleaded.

You took some time to think before saying, "Get me a necklace, any necklace and I promise you I'll wear it every single day, even if for some crazy reason were not together,"

"We’ll never not be together, I'll never let you go,” he promised.

. . .

"Alright I'll see you then," he said.

I miss you...

"Okay, bye-bye,"

I miss you more...

Just like that, you went back to feeling like you were living in a world with no sound worth hearing.

You got up from your bed to get ready. You wanted to blow him away, you took a steamy everything shower, and did a face mask, and applied some light makeup.

You scavenged through your closet looking for the perfect dress to wear. Then you realized, you didn't have to wear a dress. You decided to wear a festive red suit with nothing under the vest. You were displaying a mouth-watering plunging cleavage. Not many people had seen your sternum tattoo but you didn't care to hide it.

You finished off the outfit with a killer pair of Louboutins. Everything that you were wearing were things that he had bought you thinking you would look good in them.

The only issue is that you were too scared to wear them because of your image. You let the increased amount of fame you were receiving get to your head. Maybe that was part of the reason why the arguments started.

You slicked your hair back and kept it down. It was a new look for you but it was a vibe you wanted to experiment with. It was so you. You were hidden behind bright pastels and fairy-like dresses all the time, it would be your first red carpet dressed in clothes you liked.

You were lost in the moment of getting ready with music blasting and putting your earrings on you didn't hear the front door open or the footsteps up the stairs.

You fidgeted with the necklace as you admired yourself in the mirror. You never embraced the more sensual side of yourself until now. It was weird but it felt right.

Even so, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. Were you showing too much skin? Did you just look like a little kid playing dress-up?

"You look incredible," Toji assured as if he could read your every thought, He admired you through the mirror with a small smile on his face.

Your body jumped at the sudden intrusion. "Oh I didn't realize you were there," you said, crossing your arms feeling almost naked in front of him.

He walked up to you and uncrossed your arms placing his hands on your shoulders afterwards. He eyed you from your hair to your face down to your cleavage. His eyes stayed there for a while. She’s still wearing it. He thought to himself looking at the necklace he gifted you.

"You look perfect baby," he said and for a moment everything felt right. It felt like you weren't divorced. It felt like you were a married couple in love again.

You hugged him burying your face in his chest. "Thank you," you mumbled. You thought you would have the self-control to hold back but you didn't. Being in his arms was addictive and his scent intoxicating.

You quickly scurried away to get your clutch and the two of you went down into the car. He opened the door for you as always and he gave you aux as usual. It was like nothing had changed at all. You weren't married on paper but the two of you didn't act like it at all. It was as if you never got divorced. Kind of.

The two of you drove to his new house where the limo was waiting. There was a red carpet for this holiday party. The two of you were in the middle of a long line of limousines. You could see the celebrities on the red carpet taking photos together.

As you got closer and closer to the entrance of the event, you started to bounce your leg. Your nerves were starting to get to you and you began overthinking about what everyone else would think of you.

Just then you felt a large warm hand on your thigh. You looked down to see Toji's hand. He gave your thigh a reassuring squeeze. You looked up at him, he was looking away but you appreciated the gesture. You could almost sense the shy smile and the blush that were most likely gracing his face.

If just for a moment you could just pretend that August never happened. Like you never got into that one argument that unpacked too many emotions at once. If you could pretend that everything was okay and normal, you would rest your head heavy with your thoughts, on his broad shoulder.

And so you did. You held on to his muscular arm and snuggled into his side. You could feel yourself calm down in his presence alone. He took your hand in his and looked down at you admiring your beauty. The time felt right, his perfume filled your head and the clicks of cameras started to die down. "I've missed you Toji, every single day that we were apart, I've missed you," you revealed. To him and to yourself you admitted that you missed him and regret consumed you whole.

Toji turned to you, shock painted across his face. He crouched his head down so she could look into your eyes. "I've missed you t-," Toji started before their limousine door opened suddenly.

The world around the two of you began to fill with the clicks of cameras and the chatter of reporters and celebrities. You flashed Toji a nervous look and he gave your hand a squeeze before stepping out of the limousine before you and helping you out.

Gasps followed with your stunning entrance. Your look was unique to what the media was used to seeing you. It was also far fetched from the image that your entertainment company wanted you to maintain.

Toji kept your hand in his the entire time. His touch comforted you. You felt confident enough to pose with him and by your lonesome. You looked over at Toji who was already watching you after you were done posing.

The two of you waved to the press and entered the venue. "You looked amazing out there," Toji said, looking away from you with a light blush adorning his cheeks.

"Thank you, you didn't look too shabby yourself," you quipped.

He chuckled and shook his head at you. Everything felt right. You weren't alone anymore.

. . .

Dinner went on without a hitch. You and Toji allowed yourselves to have fun and let loose. After the party, you and Toji got into the limo and you told the driver your address.

You and Toji sat in the car in a comfortable silence recharging your social batteries. The two of you were holding hands, you were snuggled into his side taking in his scent. He was running his hands through your hair. The ride was far too short, and as soon as you knew it, you had arrived at your house. But you would have to leave home behind in that limo.

"Look, I know our situation but, do you want to come in tonight? Just for today please I don't want to be alone tonight," you practically begged.

"Sure, okay," he agreed as he looked you in the eyes sympathetically.

The two of you thanked and tipped your driver before entering the house together. Toji led you up to your room and ran to the shower telling you that you could join him if you wanted. You waited and thought for a while before getting up and deciding to take him up on his offer.

You stripped completely naked before entering the bathroom. You could only make out his figure through the steamy glass of the shower. You opened the shower door and joined him.

The two of you were completely silent helping get each other's backs and helping with shampoo. It felt just like the times before except there was this lingering feeling of tension and uneasiness you just wanted to shake off.

You hugged Toji from behind. Your naked body against his, water trickling down both of you. He turned around, running his hand through your hair and raking it away from your face. Staring into your eyes longingly before crashing his lips against yours.

Your eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Were you scared? in pain? No. You were sorry. So so sorry. In between heated wet kisses, all you could get out was apology after apology.

. . .

"I don't know Baby, I just feel like you aren't very authentic, like you're acting like someone different, even around me now," Toji said.

"Well, the company said that it would be best if I acted this way, they said I would be taken more seriously," you explained.

"Baby, you’re going to lose yourself in this role, because you're just acting, this isn't you," he said.

"How do you know if it's me or not? Maybe this how I act, how do you know?" you asked.

"How do I know? I’m your husband. I am your husband," he said sternly.

. . .

You hadn't even realized that you were crying. It all looked like water anyway.

Toji's hand traveled from the sides of your face all the way down to your waist pulling you into him. You could feel his hot length twitch and harden against your thigh.

You moaned into the kiss thrusting your hips against his, your body seemed to have a mind of its own.

. . .

"I don't understand why you're acting like this. It feels like I don't know you and I'd like my wife back," Toji said as he entered the break room.

You had acted like an airheaded bimbo during the interview because your management told you that it would clean up your image.

"Well maybe you really don't know me," you rebutted.

"Why would you want to act stupid for approval from the internet instead of wanting to be recognized as one of the few outspoken actresses out there," he retorted.

. . .

Toji left hot kisses on your jawline that translated to hickeys on your neck. As he kissed down to your cleavage he kissed the pendant of the necklace that he gifted you that you still wore all the time.

You moaned his name loudly in pleasure, crying tears of regret, sadness, and euphoric joy.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

so very sorry

. . .

"Don't you like me more now?! Why don't you like me more now?" you questioned after Toji refused to have sex with you unless you stopped this act.

Everything was different kissing you felt different, sex you felt different. It felt wrong because he felt like he was cheating on you with a completely different woman.

"Are we even married anymore? Do you even want to be married anymore?" you questioned.

"Babe, honestly I don't even know anymore,”

"I want a divorce. Let's get a divorce. Now," you said, waiting for him to fight with you, to fight for you to say anything.

He simply shook his head raising his hands in defeat before burying his head in them. That night he left and the only times you saw him again were for legal issues.

. . .

Your back was flush against the glass wall of the shower. Your legs were dangling in the air as Toji thrust into you holding your legs up and wrapping them around his waist.

Your fingers were clawing at his back as his length almost split you in half.

You forget what it felt like to be so full. "Missed this pussy, missed it so much," Toji mumbled with his head buried in the crook of your neck as he tried with all his might not to go ahead and just explode inside of you.

You were milking him, unable to stop your walls from clamping down on his cock. You were uncontrollably creaming on his cock making a mess of him and his thighs.

"Ahn, I'm so close, I'm close Daddy can I please cum?" you asked, barely making sense.

"Yeah, c'mon baby show me how good I make you feel," he urged.

You needed no other words you immediately started squirting as Toji fucked you through your high chasing his own.

You felt his hot cum shoot up into you as his tip kissed your cervix. You never felt so full until then. You let out one last apology before leaning against his chest.

"All is forgiven baby, I'm just happy to have my wife back," Toji admitted.

"I've missed you like a fish stranded on the surface missed the feeling of water pumping through its gills. You're a daily need and I've been so deprived of you for so long," Toji said as he helped you shower again after making a mess of you.

It would've been my greatest regret to let you go...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist:

@aripet22

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

[akiraiscute]

Yandere!Killua X Hunter!Reader

Tw ; Yandere shit, gore (idk what to add)

KILLUA IS A CHILD IN THIS AND SO IS READER. SO ITS NOTHING ELSE THAN KISSING AND HUGGING AND CUDDLING.

Yet all of this could off been avoided, everything could off been avoided if you didn’t go to the hunter exam. Everything, every last detail, every single word you said to both of them but here the fuck you are. Hugging the person who is absolutely obsessed with you, yes you don’t know but still.. its such a horrible move but you’re here with gon, Killua can’t just confess his love for you in front of gon or that blonde guy and black hair guy! That would make it awkward as well. But You were worried sick about killua, you even came with gon and uh, Kurapika and Le- Leorio.. Doesn’t that mean you care about him? If he even thinks about it, he gets this weird feeling. Killua doesn’t like that weird feeling at all.

“Kil! You’re bruised?! Are you okay?!”

“Oh..oh im fine..”

“You don’t look fine!”

“Oh shut up gon!…”

Killua said embarrassed as his reddening face got called out by gon, again. Leorio and kurapika smiled at the three, adoring this scene as it played. They both started to laugh a bit.. Just because he gets red around you, doesn’t mean shit! Doesn’t mean he has a crush on you, not at all. That’s weird! Super duper weird! But, but seeing you get even more worried for him, was making him weak.. isn’t that a bad sign?! Being weak is bad, right..? Yea! It is! He can’t stand you making him suddenly weak, just because you care about him doesn’t matter! Doesn’t mean anything either.. God, maybe Killua was head over heels for you, maybe he would just.. confess his love, maybe. And maybe! You’ll say yes and you two could live happily, away from his family too… god he wanted that. He didn’t want his fucked up family to take you away, nor take him away from you. He can’t stand being away fro- What is he thinking! He just met you, maybe a few weeks ago! Or a month ago! He can’t be talking like this about you. Ugh..

“Let’s go already, my mother may already be heading this way.”

“Oh! Okay!”

“What is your mother like anyways?”

That made Killua’s gears turning. He started to rant about his mother doing stuff, crazy stuff. Might i add.. Walking past the servants or whatever and kept talking as gon and you said bye and ran after him, Kurapika and leorio doing the same but walking. When You five got outside, kurapika started to speak, sorta talking over Killua but Killua didn’t mind as along as he got to look at you really, maybe he’s realizing he’s obsessed.. maybe he is! Maybe he’s gonna try stopping himself from doing anything.

After the two left, Killua was already talking to gon about him beating hisoka. He tried to show how far away gon was from hisoka as well, making sure gon knows.

“What about you?”

Gon asked before Killua immediately made the line medium size.. Killua thought he was so humble, yea right but it made you laugh. He.. he made you laugh right?! That counts, he made you laugh… god he was going to think this over in his head over and over, gon groaned as he let out another sigh, not knowing what to do even. Before Killua suggested to go to heavens arena, which both of you and gon found that going to heavens arena was a good idea! Even if you both don’t even know what heavens arena is..

You three got the tickets online, and was on the airline as soon as it was there. Both gon and killua talking, sometimes you adding in as well.. as you were just tired from going to killua’s house even! God, opening those big ass doors were horrible for you and your back.. you yawned before leaning back into your seat, finally falling asleep as Killua and Gon were talking until Killua noticed you sleeping and he stared at you sleeping so peacefully.. he felt sorta at peace for that at least you were sleeping and not hurt. He zoned out really before Gon snapped him out of it really.

————————————————————————————————

Im tired soso, Everything i do will have a part two prob😭😭 but have this my bbys, finally getting into my hxh stuff😊🫶

— Aki.. Akira… Loggi.. Logging… off..

[romana-after-dark]

Guard Dog

Riader!Joel Miler x Dark!fem!reader

Masterlist : Taglist

Summary: Joel attempts to raid the wrong house, and having the Joel Miller on his knees before awakens something in you... and in him.

Content and Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT Dub con on Joel (Is it non con? idk. Idk how im supossed to tag this but it's no where near the violence of tww someone help), references to non con from Joel to other women, gun sucking, fem domme, dark!reader but Joel is also dark soooooo, subby Joel, dead bodies, Nick reference (if you read TWW you know lol), multiple orgasms, overstim, dumbification?

AN 1: This essentially came of two thoughts, me thinking hmmmm how to write raider!Joel in a new way? 2. I want to avenge Little One. Joel did her so dirty and is still doing her so dirty in the dark timeline addition, lowkey wanted someone to get revenge for her. Plus, subby Joel is always a win for Fen and Maura lol

AN 2: Shout outs to @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and @toxicanonymity for talking me through this idea, esp Toxi for letting me use the gun blowjob bit lololol if you like that concept, I encourage everyone to check out toxi's raider joel Or maybe Jake's part in the chasing series

***********************

Whoever it was, they had chosen to raid the wrong fucking house.

Yes, you were a single woman. Yes you lived alone. But no, you were not helpless, far from it, actually. Whoever it was is lucky they had made it past the set of boobytraps thus far. Actually, it sounded like a few of them had been taken out as it was.

*

Joel watched in relief as the arrow went through Nick’s skull. Relief it wasn’t him. He never liked Nick that much anyway, real creepy guy. In fact, he didn’t like any of the men that this house had gotten either. It was exhausting, trying to lead a group of dumbasses and whatever the fuck was in here it wasn’t worth it, so Joel attempted to make his exit. Thing was, leaving was proving just as hard as entering was. Whoever lived here didn’t want anyone living to tell the tail. Stepping over the dead bodies of a few of his men, Joel had narrowly dodged more arrows, spikes, darts; the whole lot, until some secret fucking door opened up like a goddamn scooby-doo house and there you were, gun to his forhead.

“Joel fucking Miller, I’ll be damned.”

Joel narrowed his eyes. He didn’t recognize you, but you knew him. That wasn’t surprising, he’d gained a bit of a reputation from raiders, fireflies and regular people. “Who the hell are you?”

You tell him your name, first name at least, and make quick work of taking out the gun in his hand. “Armed with anything else, Miller?” He said he wasn’t, but you knew that was a lie. “Don’t believe that for a second.”

“Then why the hell did you ask?” His texan drawl was prominent, especially when he was worked up.

“More fun to mess with you.” Keeping the gun pressed up to his temple, you press your body against his in turn as you pat him down for more weapons. It didn’t hurt that he was handsome.

“JESUS!” Joel jumped as you grabbed at his ass. “Watch your fucking hands.”

You can’t help but giggle; he thinks he's in charge. “You could be hiding weapons anywhere-” He tenses as you slip your hand between his buttcheeks as much as his jeans allow. “-Can’t be too careful.”

Joel was a brutal man, you heard stories of his rage and carelessness for human life, including women. There’d been many such stories of him forcing himself on women, kidnapping and trafficking… maybe he needed a taste of his own medicine? You take your time on his top half, feeling up every muscle, every bit of pudge, every dip on his broad body. Then, onto the lower. Without hindrance, you grope at his crotch and are very impressed by the size of him; and amused by the way he’s already semi-hard. Men are so easy, it’s funny sometimes. 

“This make you excited, Miller? Or does it scare you to be at a woman’s mercy for once? Maybe a little bit of both?” 

Joel didn’t look at you, lips pursed in a hard line.

You continue, moving the gun to his pants as you kneel before him to check lower. “I bet this is more your speed isn’t it? Having a pretty woman on her knees?”

The scoff above you doesn’t go unnoticed. “Mighty full of ourselves, aren’t we?”

After taking a knife and a gun that were strapped to his ankle, you stand up, satisfied with your work and the ever-growing bulge in his pants. “I own a mirror, Miller. I know what I got going on.” Degrading won’t work on you. With a nudge, you press him towards your room. 

“Yuh gonna kill me?” There was no fear in his voice when he asked. This was a man prepared for death whenever it came.

“We’ll see. Gonna have a little fun with you first.”

*

Having Joel Miller on his knees for you was a goddamn treat. He looked so good like this, so submissive even if his bratty little face wanted to put on a show. 

“It’s natural, you know.” With a glance down, you let him know that you are referencing his half-hard cock. “The adrenaline.” You squat in front of him. “How many girl came when you forced yourself on them? How many felt their bodies betray them? Did you laugh at them for getting wet?”

“I didn’t-”

“It’s humiliating, isn’t it?” Your gun was still out, knowing physically he could probably overpower you still. You weren’t weak by any means, but you also were aware he had far more upper body strength, muscles bulging through the seem of his shirt sleeves. The cool end of the gun prodded at his face as he tried to keep calm; the bob of his adam's apple and subtle rise of his chest was giving away his nerves. It was exhilarating, having a man that many feared, the cause of death of so many men, someone of damn-near legendary status and his knees for you… You couldn’t help the reaction the thrill had in pooling in your stomach. It was natural, wasn’t it? That’s what you told Joel. 

Using the gun, you move his face around a bit to really take in his features. Strong nose, curly salt and pepper hair, soft brown eyes and lips you just really wanted to make whimper.

“Your quite handsome, you know that?”

An ironic chuckle. “I have a mirror too, sweetheart.”

You can’t help smiling at him as you straighten back up. “Take off your shirt.”

He rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

“Obedient thing, aren’t you? Bet I could train you, bet that’s what you need, isn’t it?” You slip your hand in your pants, feeling up your own wet cunt as the thrill of power elevates things. “Tired of having to decide, having to lead…” Maybe the adrenaline was getting to you, but you suddenly wish you had a dick to make him suck. You don’t, so you settle for the next best thing. You tap his lips witht he barrel of the gun. “Open.”

Joel hesitates, a slight spark of fear in his pretty eyes as he keeps his lips tightly closed, and that just won't do. You slap his cheek with the gun, and as grunts in pain the seal of his lips pops open.

“Ah-mph” His cry of pain was quickly muffled by the gun being shoved in his mouth. 

“Suck on it, cowboy. Act like you fucking enjoy it.”

You don’t think he needs to act. Joel sucks on your gun like he would a dick and you furiously finger yourself to his rhythm. As he closes his eyes, you can hear a low groan emitting from his throat and his hands twitching at his side. 

“Touch yourself, go ahead.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, his right hand flying to the seam of his pants and palming at his full erection.

 “Good boy, good fucking boy” You praise. “Just an obedient little dog pretending to be a lone wolf. Is that it? You just want someone to tell you what to do, huh?” You release the gun from his mouth and can’t help but grin as his lips chase it.

“Y-yes.” Joel admits, face strained in tension as he kept touching himself. Must hurt, being constrained like that.

“Take it out. Eyes on me.” You guide his face to look up at you with the tip of your gun. “Look in my eyes as you do it.”

As he released himself, Joel did indeed look up at you; he looked up at you as if you made the stars in the sky. 

Once his cock was out, all 9 or so inches, you take off your sleep shorts and straddle over him but not yet putting it in. “I don’t think I need this gun anymore… but I think you like it.” When you sink down on him, gun pressed to his ribs as a firm reminder of who was in charge, you hold your breath in order to hear the simple whimpers and guttural groans that Joel tried so hard to hide.

“This is where you belong, isn’t it?” You goad him, eliciting a quiet ‘yes’ from his lips. “Under me, belong to me.”

You are speared on him, his dick spreading you open and stretching you unlike anything you had felt before and you loved it. Every chance you had, you felt his muscles, reveling in the fact such a physically strong man was so mental weak for you and only you.

“Can I cum? Please?” Joel begged for you, pleaded ever, lips quivering even as you kissed him.

“Almost there, baby, almost- mmmm- almost there. You can cum after me, okay?”

Joel nodded quick, tiny nods and hesitantly moved a hand to your hips. He looked up at you bouncing on his cock for permission, and when you nod back he goes to thumb at your clit. 

“OH GOD!” You shout, breathless, slick all over your thighs and his pants, his touch sending you over the edge. You cum hard, walls pulsing all around him and he doesn’t ask again before spilling his seed inside you, filling you to the brim.

Your body relaxes, but then Joel throws you to the ground causing you to drop your gun and for a moment you thought he bested you, got you distracted; until he dove right into your cunt with no regard for the lost gun. He didn’t care about beating you, he cared about tasting you. As he desperately licked his cum out of your dripping hole, you tugging at his curls, Joel humped the floor as if he hadn’t just gotten released. You pull him close, riding out another orgasm on his face. When you cum a third time, you have to push him back, the overstimulation from the desperate man’s tongue, lips and beard being too much. When you do, he looks up at you with wide eyes as if he had done something wrong, but you pull up and into a kiss before laying him down on the floor to kiss him some more.

“Not sure if I wanna let go of you, cowboy…” You tease, playing with his hair but keeping him firmly pressed to the ground. “Might have to keep you around, but my little guard dog, how about that?”

Joel’s eyes were glossy, his face so fucked out you weren’t sure he was fully cognizant. “Baby boy too tired to speak? That’s okay, I’ll take care of you too. You be the arms; I’ll be the brains. You won’t have to have a single thought outside me again, okay?”

***********

Part 2 here

LOWKEY NERVOUS BC THIS IS SUCH A DIFFERENT JOEL AND HE DOESNT DO A LOT OF TALKING?!?!?!?!?!??! UNSURE HOW I FEEL

Anyway I do hope to write more maybe? so if you wanna be tagged comment below! I liek the idea of having a joel I can kinda just write stuff about whenever instead of a story and an arch and characters to balance. This is just more casual. and i dont gotta go nuts keepingup with posting like my other stories. Im think a v joel tess kinda vibe where she's clearly leading him

I was supossed to be working on the next part to my Javi P x reader x Santi AU buuuutttttttttttt I couldnt get this idea out of my head. So. here you all go! I'll try and work on that, the dark! TF boys, TWW, and the Will Miller story lol its kinda a lot rn

Please consider reblogging and commenting to support your fav writers &lt;3

@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @hereforthepedrofanfic @alwaysmicado @noisynightmarepoetry @morallyinept @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @the-fox-den @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @k-ra

If you'd like to join the dark! taglist, click here! this is different from my regular taglist on my main account

If you'd like to join only on this tag list, comment below

[melobin]

“i love all 7 not just one” yet ur so dismissive abt a certain member which clearly isn’t loving all 7 goofy ass. no wonder ur friends with ninona 🤣 both y’all r ot6ers

me when i’m onto nothing the fact you can sit and assume you know how i genuinely feel about ot7 riize is crazy to me. you can continue to think what you want to because i can assure you both ninona and i do not gaf !! im far past the point of caring if people think i negatively of me over the situation with seunghan !! i know i love seunghan ! my friends know it too ! i do not gaf if random people on the internet think differently bc frankly why should i ? i run a smut blog girl im just here to talk about cock 99% of the time 😭

if i’m being completely honest here. i feel like people seem to struggle to grasp the concept that people handle things in their own ways. i’m a very sensitive and emotional person and over the years ive been trying to deal with that in a way where i don’t get hurt so easily. i’ve been dealing with severe anxiety for years i have chronic depression if i sat and thought about seunghan’s hiatus every day i would be completely miserable and worried and that’s not how i want to be i want to be okay i want to feel okay.

grief has never been something i ever get too emotional over it just doesn’t happen, of course it’s sad to not see him there but the way i handle things doesn’t mean i dislike him in anyway shape or form and i’m frankly quite tired of having to explain myself about this. at the end of the day, if seunghan returns it’ll be one of the best things to happen, it’ll make me incredibly happy, i don’t talk about my emotions often but if you want the truth there it is. if he, god forbid, ends up being removed from riize then it will hurt me and i will be upset. i’d rather spend his hiatus in a middle group of knowing there’s realistically a 50/50 chance of him returning and him not rather than sitting and getting my hopes up only to be hurt and upset after.

the way i deal with this hiatus is for my own benefit and my own sanity, i don’t want to be sad all the time, i just barely made it out of a depressive episode and i know if i sat and dwelled on him being on hiatus then i probably wouldn’t have made it out of it. the way i treat the other 6 members is the same way i treat seunghan, i feel the same way about them all, it’s just not as simple to show that when he’s not in gifs or videos or photos.

writing about him is not as easy because i haven’t seen him for months and as time has gone by the other 6 have become more visibly comfortable and free on camera and we never got to see that with him. i love writing for him, his porn plot fic is one of my favourite fics ive written and im always happy to write for him. i just tend to write more for sungchan and eunseok because those are the members i am more sexually attracted to, im a slut man idk what you want me to say. people rarely send asks about seunghan, they’re mainly about sungchan and anton and there’s nothing i can do about that. if people send asks about him, i answer them? if they don’t then i dont, i can’t answer something that isn’t there.

i don’t mean to post such a long rant but frankly i’m just tired of having to say the same thing over and over. no, i don’t care if you think badly of me over it, i don’t care for people who think they know how i feel about something and act as if their opinion is the be all end all. so thank you for sending this so i could freely express my feelings about this.

and DAWG leave ninona out of this as well !!! she expressed why she doesn’t write for him and i touched on my own feelings about writing for seunghan. i never once viewed her in a negative way, she’s one of the funniest people ive had the pleasure of befriending and no, she doesn’t hate seunghan either !

[freesidexjunkie]

to have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you

Durgetash smut. My first attempt at writing actual honest to goodness smut instead of just implied smut. Pls bc nice im posting this at work and turning tomato red trying to figure out what tags to include. (I actually wrote this a couple weeks back and was too shy to post it 🙈)

Gortash x f!Durge

Summary: Maevris is now fully residing at Wyrm's Rock. She's wandering the fortress in the middle of the night, struggling to come to terms with her feelings for Enver. Wait. Are those feelings? Shit, yeah they are. Guess she's gonna have to do something about those.

Word count: 4,137

Tags: smut, explicit sexual content, feelings, idk full tag list is on AO3

Read on AO3 here

It wasn't that she had planned to end up here. She simply couldn't sleep, she told herself. Needed a breath of fresh air, to move her legs, tire herself out. She hadn't even paid attention to the path she took through the fortress; that she had ended up here, outside of Enver's door, was just a coincidence. The fact that she was still here, almost glued to the spot, debating with herself as she stared at the door... That was harder for her to reason away. She took a loud breath and walked away; turned back on her heel and raised her knuckles to the door, but stopped herself; cursed quietly as she shut her eyes and tried to rationalize this.

"Are you going to come in at any point, dear? Or are you just keeping watch?" Came a voice from inside the room. Dammit.

Maevris steeled herself and opened the door. "I was just out for a walk. Didn't mean to disturb you. I can go back to my room."

Gortash was sitting at a desk, hard at work over something or other. A few bits and bobs of machinery sat in front of him, laying on top of a set of blueprints. A glass of wine sat untouched beside him, and his normally well coiffed hair was in disarray, as if he'd been running his hands through it. The elegant robes lay forgotten to the side, his shirt fully unlaced. Was this his idea of relaxing? Stressing himself over a project? She noticed he was staring at her with that same look, that familiar and unsettling gaze she couldn't quite figure out. Was it a sly smirk and hooded eyes, to try and put her off her guard? Or was there sincerity in that smile, care in those tired eyes?

"You've been taking a walk in the same spot for a few minutes now, judging by the footsteps I've been hearing," he said, almost sounding... fondly couldn't be the right word, surely. Could it? "What's on your mind, my darling?"

Shit. She rolled her eyes at him, crossing her arms to avoid answering. She didn't want these butterflies when he looked at her like that, spoke to her like that. The involuntary fluttering of her heart sank like dread to the pit of her stomach, every time. He was lying, using, manipulating. He had to be. He was taking advantage of her lack of memories, painting himself as a grand figure in her past. He had to be... and yet, the mounting evidence to the contrary, the feelings in her chest that refused to be ignored, buried, beaten down. He was a monster. He was the reason she was in this. He... shouldn't have this kind of sway over her. If she didn't feel something, deep within herself, like the fleeting ghost of a feeling; like the worst, most torturous form of deja vu. Her current resolve warring with whatever past feelings she may have had. But if she believed him…

"Well?" He asked, still staring at her face as he leaned back in his chair and rested his chin on his hand.

She scoffed. She hated this feeling he brought about in her. So why was she seeking it out so much? Why was she still here to begin with? "I... I don't know. I just couldn't sleep. I didn't – it's not like I came here on purpose."

"Of course not, dearest," he said. He rose with a grin still on his lips as he walked to meet her. When had she walked so far in the room? Had she not noticed herself being pulled towards him? He reached a hand up to her face, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and lingering as his knuckles grazed her cheek. "And what can I do to help you sleep better?"

She melted beneath his hand, his eyes, his low voice. He had to be toying with her. He was simply well practiced in making his flattery sound so sincere. But that didn't stop her from leaning into his hand as her eyes fluttered shut. "I... don't know."

When she opened her eyes, he was fully smiling down at her now. The hand on her cheek moved to the back of her head, fingers twining through her hair, as his other arm snaked around her waist to pull her into his embrace. She didn't resist, didn't stop her own arms from coming to rest on his chest as she stared back up at him, unable to tear her eyes from his. He leaned down just a bit, hovering inches away from her face. "Would you like to stay, then?"

Her breath caught in her chest as her heart beat wildly against her ribs, fighting to escape her completely. She remembered nothing; no faces, names, not even her own actions. But this felt... comforting. Safe. Like an anchor against the world. She tried to find answers in his eyes, but saw nothing but his own apparent adoration. Impossible to glean if it was real, or a show put on for her. But she wanted to believe, if only for a moment... "I... I don't know, Enver. I just–" She huffed a quick breath, burying her face in the side of his neck. Just for a moment. Just to see if it's right. "I just... want it to make sense," she said in a small voice.

His arms gently tightened around her, fingers playing with her hair as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of her forehead. "I know, love," he said, leaning his head on hers. "I do, too. I want you to remember, to know. I'm trying to find something, my love. Just a little more research."

She allowed herself to relax into him a bit more. This felt right. "I don't know if I do want to remember," she said. "If I did all those things, if I was really... I don't think I can handle that."

His free hand drew soothing circles into her back, as if he could take the pain away from her. "And so you'd forget me, as well?" He asked quietly against her hair. "Our time together, what we had. What we were to each other. Would you leave it all forgotten, Mae?"

She took a moment before answering. He sounded almost vulnerable. Afraid of her answer. Would she forget it all? Did that mean she had to leave it behind? "I..." she sighed, nuzzling into him further before answering, lips moving against his skin in a whisper. "You're still here now, aren't you?"

She felt a breath leave his chest at that. A sigh of relief? He held her tighter, as if he thought she might slip away given half a chance. "I am. I'm just wondering if you'll still be here when I look away."

This felt nice. Good. Was this what she wanted? Mae stood back a little, just enough to look into his face. The softness of his eyes as he took her in, the warmth of his smile. Was this all for her, if she wanted it? She reached one hand up to his cheek, slowly, as if testing it. But he did not shrink away, leaning into her palm as she stroked his cheek. His look was full of love, adoration, want. She could feel the same in her own eyes as she leaned in, carefully, grazing his lips with her own ever so lightly. Slow, unsure, with her heart pounding in her ears as she kissed him, just once. She pulled barely away, eyes still sealed shut, unwilling to open them and face the moment, lest it have to end. "Enver... I –"

Her words were swallowed up as he covered her lips with his own, only a small sound of surprise as realization dawned on her. His hands grabbed at her clothes needily, snaking under her shirt to feel her skin beneath his fingertips. She draped her arms around his neck, fingers finding their way into his hair to pull him closer. And closer he was, clinging tightly to every inch of her that he could reach. His shirt, already unlaced, was easily dispensed with; he made short work of her clothes as she pulled him to the four poster bed. "Mae," he said as he stopped at the edge of the mattress, voice low and husky, "are you...?"

"Yes," she answered quickly, nodding up at him before rejoining their lips. Her hands found their way to his belt, cursing every moment it took to loosen the damn thing. Every moment she had to waste on this buckle was a moment spent without her body flush to his, her hands roaming over him, pulling him into her. She let out a tiny whine of frustration and felt him chuckle into her lips before undoing the clasp himself. He kicked off his trousers as he pulled her into the bed with him, trying to remove them both from their small clothes as he went. Enver pulled her onto his lap, straddling his thighs without breaking the kiss. His arms and hands explored her body, every inch that was finally, finally laid bare for him again. Her legs, her waist, her hips. All for him, and he hungered for it. She tangled handfuls of his hair between her fingers, eliciting a deep groan from his throat as she gently tugged it to pull him closer. He could feel her getting wet in his lap, and was sure she could feel him growing harder as she squirmed and moved over him.

He tangled his own fingers through her hair and pulled her head back just barely, only enough to look into her eyes as he silently asked permission to enter her. She nodded, eyes hooded and breaths heavy. Gods, was she the most beautiful creature on this earth. In all the planes, he was sure, as he pulled her back into the kiss. One hand still tangled in her hair as he used the other to gently open her folds and slowly guide himself in. She let out a moan against his lips as she settled over him, the sound enough to send him feral. He pressed his tongue further into her mouth as she set a pace, almost tantalizingly slow. For her, this was akin to their first time together; she was testing, exploring, finding the perfect movements all over again. He felt eager to show Maevris just how well he remembered her, how in tune they were with each others bodies when they hit their stride. But for now, he was content to savor this moment, to let her take her time. He would lavish her later, show her how she deserved to be worshipped in his arms. As she went, she grew bolder, bit by bit. Still achingly slow, but more incessant, more needy with every thrust of her hips. He responded in kind, matching her rhythm and intensity. He grabbed her thighs as her moved his mouth from her lips to her jaw, slowly trailing down her next and over her chest, staking a new claim on every inch with deliberate and passionate kisses, hot and wet over every inch of her that he reclaimed. Her head fell back as another moan left her lips, and he moved an arm behind her neck to steady her in his lap. She was close, he could tell; losing her focus as he kissed and sucked her most sensitive spots, missing the steps of their little dance as she began to come undone. He grabbed her hips and guided her to their rhythm, to the final steps and over the edge as he sucked fiercely at her collar. And the sounds she made as she finally came for him, as she shook against his chest and moaned his name into his neck... gods, he had missed having her like this. That carried him to his own end, pulling her into his chest as he groaned into her shoulder.

She shook against him, sticky with sweat and blissfully resting in his arms. His ragged breaths tickled her shoulder as he continued pressing kisses to her skin, arms gripping her to him as she pulled herself further into his lap. Any bare skin, any inch that could be touching him but wasn't, felt like a tragedy begging to be remedied. As his breathing steadied, he trailed his lips slowly up her neck to nibble on her earlobe. "I love you," he whispered between gentle bites, "and gods, have I missed you, Mae."

She laughed warmly, her head tilting back to give him access. "I've been here for weeks, Enver."

"Not like this," he murmurered into her neck, "not in my bed, laid out for me like such a pretty present."

Her heart skipped a beat like in her chest at his words, his sincerity, at the muddled way her mind still felt as she drifted back to reality. "I'm not laid out, though, am I?" She teased, eyes fluttering open to look at him again.

He replied with a tauntingly wicked grin as he leaned in to her lips. "That can be fixed," he muttered against them before moving his arms around her to swiftly flip them onto the bed, positioning them so that she was lying under him. "There," he said as he caressed her face, running the other hand down her side to bring her leg up against him. "Much better."

She giggled at the act; an actual, honest giggle, lighter than she had thought herself capable of. Is this love, she asked herself? To feel so freed with someone? "And now that you have me here?" She asked him, wrapping an arm around his waist, mischief glinting in her eyes as he caressed her bare skin.

He let his eyes wander over her, all of her perfection and beauty in front of him. "Oh, I have many ideas, pet. Trust me." He claimed her lips in a kiss again, pressing deeply into her mouth, eager to have her, yet not rough: firm, but gentle; impatient, but drawing his attentions out nonetheless. He ghosted his lips over her ear, hands wandering between her legs, teasing her. "Do you trust me, love?"

She groaned underneath of him, deep in her chest as he teased her swollen bud and slick folds. A strained "mhmm" was all she could manage, her eyes fluttering shut again as he taunted her.

"Good," he said with a sultry grin.

He seemed to know every spot on her body, every reaction it would elicit, better than she did, and she was more than happy to let him lead her. His lips worked their way down her neck, playful nips and deep kisses as he continued to tease between her legs. She could feel his kisses deepen as he paused at the base of her neck, right above her clavicle. There would be marks all over her neck tomorrow, she was certain, but she didn't care. It was worth it. Let him mark her body wherever he wanted; he could have it, all of it. She squirmed under him as he moved lower, wet kisses trailing over her chest, over her breasts, across the delicate skin of her ribs. His fingers still danced around her opening, teasing little sighs and whimpers from her throat as he kept them just on the edge, never quite entering her. The longer her toyed with her, the more urgently she needed him; the more she whined and groaned and bucked against his hand as his lips trailed down her stomach.

"Tsk. So impatient," he said, stopping over her lower abdomen to look up at her. "So eager. So needy," he said as he pressed a kiss to the lowest part of her belly.

"Enver," she whined out, gripping the sheets in her fists beside her, "you're doing this on purpose."

"Doing what, my dearest?" He asked as he grabbed her, lazily massaging circles into her inner hips. He kissed her belly again before resting his chin on it to look up at her, her thighs on either side of his face.

"Stop... playing with me and – fuck." She exclaimed breathlessly and he dipped one finger into her before drawing it out again.

"Oh, in good time, my heart," he promised, words lilting as he eyed her wickedly. "Good things come to those who wait. It'll be all the sweeter for it, you'll see," he said as he pressed an insistent kiss to her inner thigh.

She laughed, a small pant of amusement as she tried to steel herself against his tricks. He wanted her to beg for it, she thought, but she wouldn't give him the pleasure. She answered him playfully. "Of course you'd say that, you bast– ah!” He cut her off with two fingers this time, slower than before, deeper, as his thumb circled her bud.

"Name calling doesn't suit you, lovely," he teased, his breath tickling her stomach as he hovered over her. "Try asking nicely."

She scoffed at him again, but found herself unable to resist with his fingers working inside of her. "I... shit." She swallowed hard, words difficult to form as her thoughts grew hazy. "Please, Enver," she relented, struggling to speak the words between her ragged breaths. "Fuck, please."

"My, my." He smiled lazily as he pressed kisses to the inside of her thigh, drawing his fingers out of her. "Please what, my love?"

"You are..." she paused, feeling the hot wetness of his mouth drawing closer to her. "Just... please, don't... don't stop."

She felt him smirk against her skin, right where her leg met her hip, right beside where she needed him most. "Of course, Maevris. Anything for you." He positioned himself directly over her middle, eyes gleaming up at her, basking in the neediness of her gaze as she stared down at him, waiting. He kissed her stomach, featherlight, trailing lower until he was right over her swollen little bud. He kissed deeper, sucking just a little, arms snaking under and hands grabbing her legs and ass on either side as she moaned and bucked under him. He caressed it with his tongue, pulling forth whatever lovely sounds his skills could earn him before moving lower. He flicked his tongue into her, tasting her, lips caressing her as he pushed his tongue deeper.

She couldn't breath, couldn't think, couldn't do anything but buck her hips into him. The waiting had made it sweeter, she thought; but she would never admit that to him. He was like a master at his instrument, strumming and plucking and hitting all the right spots to make sweet music flow from her lips. She understood why some called it a "little death;" she died and felt reborn under his touch. She saw stars, she saw nothing, felt herself floating further and further away as he pushed her hips back down. It was eternity, it was bliss. She cried out his name as he led her back over the edge, and she jumped happily into it as the world faded around her.

She was lost, unaware of the world around them. She could feel him crawling back over her, his hands holding the sides of her face while she trembled beneath him. Her eyes stayed firmly shut, working through the last perfect drops of her orgasm. "How do you feel, dearest?" He asked quietly, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he lowered himself on top of her.

"I... I don't believe I can think right now," she replied, smiling back at him as she opened her eyes. "Ask me again later."

He chuckled into her hair, planting another kiss to it. "I'll take that as a good thing," he said. "Are you going to stay here tonight, then?"

"Mhmm," she murmured, nodding lazily. "You don't expect me to walk back to my bed after that, do you?" He pulled his lips back from her hair and saw her flashing wide, innocent eyes at him, pleading silently. As if he would let her up regardless, he thought.

He rolled off of her and onto his back. Mae let out a petulant little whine, before he wrapped her in his arms and pulled her onto his chest, tucking her head under his chin. She settled in over his heartbeat as he traced his fingertips over her back. Did she know what she was doing, he wondered? That need to feel him under her, hear his heartbeat, be wrapped up in him, just as she had before; was that a subconscious habit, or, as he allowed himself to foolishly hope, was it an old memory coming back to light? She pulled closer to him, wrapping one arm up over his shoulder. Touch starved little thing. They both were, he thought, as he pulled her tighter to himself. No amount of contact was ever enough, it seemed.

"Enver?" She whispered into his chest, barely loud enough to hear.

"Hmm?" He answered, eyes shut as he rested against her head, "what is it, pet?"

"Were we..." she shifted a bit to look at him, trying to put the words together. "Were you... always so gentle with me?"

He smiled down at her, stroking her cheek. Gods, don't take her away again. "Surprised?" He asked. "My love, I can be very gentle, when the moment calls for it. And after all you've been through..." He looked down at her, sadness seeming to flit through his eyes as he leaned to press a kiss to her forehead again. "You deserve gentleness, my darling. And I am happy to give you whatever you need."

Mae looked back up at him, perplexed, almost disbelieving. He worried he had gone too far, that she would get up and leave him now, in this cold and empty and too large bed. Instead, her brow relaxed and she placed her hand over his, twining their fingers as she pulled it back to kiss his palm. Mae looked back at him for a moment before laying her head back over his heart, and pulling his hand to keep it over her cheek. She fidgeted for a minute, before adding, almost too quiet for him to hear, "and what do you need?"

Enver looked down at her, convinced he must have misheard. What did he need? What a silly question. But she didn't look up at him, instead burying her face into his chest as her heart started to beat faster against him. She was truly asking, then. She was offering. And she was nervous. It was enough to make his heart skip a beat, to make him melt away.

"I... oh, my love," he answered, pulling her tighter as he pressed kiss after kiss to her head. "I have all I need. I have you, returned to my arms. We have this city to rule together, side by side, like we were meant to. What else could I need?"

She was silent for a moment, considering his words. She looked up at him again, a questioning look in her eyes. "Do you really love me, then?" She asked.

He pulled her face to his and answered her question with a kiss, deep and full of longing. He kissed her as is he could make up for the weeks apart, for failing to keep her safe, for ever letting her slip away in the first place. As he pulled back, her lips chased sleepily after his, just out of reach. Her eyes stayed shut for a moment, as if she hadn't quite registered that the kiss was over yet. "More than you could know," was all he said, leaning against her forehead.

"Hmm," she answered, settling back against his chest with their hands intertwined. He laughed against her, holding her as she drifted between sleep and wakefulness. He wasn't put off by her lack of reply; this was all very new to her still. If he could bring her memories back... but even without them, she was still here. She was still in his arms, chest slowly rising and falling as she fell asleep on him. He would prove to her all over again that she could trust her, that he loved her, that all of his dreams in life meant nothing if she wasn't there to partake in them. He couldn't fail her again, couldn't survive the heartbreak of letting her get hurt by his neglectfulness as second time. He would prove it to her. In time, she would–

"Goodnight, love," she mumbled into his chest as she placed a small, sleepy kiss to his skin. She was barely awake, if at all. He had all he wanted, right here.

[clownsnake]

guys. Astarion wasn’t literally considered a child when he was 30. Among elves he was clearly seen as Of Age to do adult things like drink and live independently and fuck and pay taxes. its just that elves have a stupid extra concept of adulthood that doesn’t MEAN adulthood in a literal sense. has nothing to do with physical or brain development. not even necessarily emotional development, but it kind of is depending on how u interpret it, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

basically elves in the forgotten realms trance instead of sleep (we know this) and until around age 110, during their trances they “dream” of their past lives (I’ve only seen a few ppl who know this, but idk if they also knew it stops at a certain age). They then stop dreaming of their past lives naturally, and it’s generally considered kinda traumatic to go through bc well. you’re losing what has been a fundamental part of yourself for so long.

I interpret that as being like a “shared trauma maturation stage” where instead of elves brains literally becoming more adult, losing the guidance of their past lives feels like more of a final step towards independence to them. and adulthood is just the closest social experience to this stage of being “truly on your own”

around 30-40 they get a “first reflection”, which is when their dreams start having experiences from their current life. (Makes sense for Astarion having a dream about Cazador in origin runs that prompts the biting scene) And then the loss of past life memories at 100-110 is called the drawing of the veil.

Tl;dr Astarion was a young adult by elf standards stop infantilizing him PLEASE

Getting into headcanon land now, feel free to draw your own conclusions from here.

i imagine older elves kind of have a sense of being more “mature” than under-110 elves in the way tht people comparing their trauma tend to do. Like “u think ur so smart and worldly but you haven’t even been through half the shit I’ve been through.” PATRONIZING that’s the word I’m looking for, it’s patronizing. And since every elf goes through this, they just kind of assume that yeah, going through this trauma/emotional loss IS a big step towards being a full adult. so it’s like if the concept of adult had a Pokémon evolution that didn’t involve getting wrinkly and hair loss and going through menopause or erectyle dysfunction. Adult 1.5 steam update.

I have no clue if Astarion would have the drawing of the veil as an undead elf. The fact that he even has dreams shows that being revived as a vampire keeps certain bodily functions running, mainly anything relating to the brain and consciousness, but idk if it would keep him physically at 30 or let his brain change.

Although hold on, in the epilogue where you’re a mind flayer and considering eating Astarions brain, you get narration that’s like “ooohh his brain part that handles senses must be sooo wrinkly” which would only be caused by the shit he went through post-vampirification. Meaning his brain Would be able to change and “mature”. But that’s also just an assumption that mindflayer!tav/durge is making.

k I looked it up. The exact quote is “Astarion’s sweet brain may be a bit less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw.” Hilarious, he canonically gets called smooth brain. Anyway if u kill him I don’t think you get to eat his brain, withers just banishes you asap lmao. So we don’t actually know if his parietal lobe changed over his un-life! I’d wager it did though, based on his “don’t touch me” selection line (and probably some other lines hinting towards over-sensitivity tht im forgetting). And change caused by external trauma vs change caused by aging is different anyway.

no conclusion wrt to if he’d reach the drawing of the veil or not. Does it even matter? He’s still the same adult man, who’s gone through far worse hardships than losing memories of his past lives. If he lost his past life dreams too, well then I don’t think that’d make much of a difference for him.