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frightfurtabby · 3 years ago

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HimiKiyo Week Day 6: I Melt With You

// 2nd to last day, the theme is sickness and health. Emi told me about a headcanon about Kiyo having Marfan Syndrome a while ago so I used that for this. And to add another layer I’ve made a nod to a grey’s anatomy episode we watched on a date night. sadly i dont think thats enough for me to be able to tag that fandom tho smh//

Word Count: 1299

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34224124

Amino: (coming soon)

Korekiyo always had health problems in some way since they could remember. It wasn’t easy to live with but Sister had always had it worse. Of course she did, because her ailments were rarer and deadlier, as she frequently reminded them back in those days. It was all about her so without her things went south for several years. (More so than they had been)

Himiko also knew what it was like to lose somebody to something like that. It was one of the things that they bonded over in their early days knowing one another. It took a few conversations to fully open up about that. It took even longer then for Kiyo to confess there was a reason for their lanky appearance and spindly fingers: Marfan Syndrome.

A big catch was that their heart was bad. It could be fixed with surgery, but that and the medications were simply managing it and the dozens or so other symptoms. It, like many of the disorders Kiyo’s sister had while she was alive, was incurable.

Any surgery had risks, but the risks were better than risking the damage to the arteries getting any worse. It had finally come time for the procedure. There were indicators their heart would start to get worse.

Himiko was in the room when the doctor broke the news. In a cruel twist it was she that seemed to need the most comforting about the news. Kiyo kept her up on their lap and brushed fingers across her hand.

“I’m going to be fine, darling.” They told her before giving a peck on the cheek. “Recovery might take a while but when I’m all better, I’ll be better than ever before. Stronger.”

“You’ll really be okay honey?” She clung to them like a koala.

“Yes. I promise that.” A promise sealed with a kiss on her lips. That was the kind that should never be broken, so they knew they had to fight.

There were little conversations day to day about it. It was first caught extremely early as many genetic conditions were. It started with eye problems and scoliosis. A few more observations and tests and it was the answer. Plus, there was a family history with it due to one grandfather having had it.

Kiyo had a morbid sense of humor and one of the jokes was about how they were “Always in and out of the hospital, so why not have something interesting to stay longer. Make things a lot more convenient”

Himiko knew she had to stay in the hospital overnight tonight, so she put a call in to an old friend to house-sit and make sure to feed their kitty child, Ryo. It was the night before the big day.

“Thank you.” Kiyo said, propped up a bit on the pillows. They figured they may get some shut-eye soon. “I got a little sad, but then I thought about how happy he’ll be when his mommies come back home.” They smiled.

“I’ll be glad when this is all over.” she put her phone under the pillow on the visitors couch she was going to sleep on before walking over to hold their hand. “If the doctors mess anything up I’ll sue.” She wasn’t kidding, and hoped it didn’t come to that.

A smile crossed Kiyo’s face as they gently returned her little hand squeeze. “I know you would. I trust that I’ll be fine here.”

She leaned in and gave a kiss. “Is there anything you’d like before bed?”

Stroking their chin in thought, an answer came with a slight delay. “Well… how about a bedtime story? I’ve read those to you many times, so this can be a good opportunity for your turn.”

“Hehe, I thought you might say something like that. So I came up with one already earlier today.” she explained, “So, I hope you’ll enjoy hearing this tale.” It was a relaxing one with a relatively light conflict. Many talking animals inhabited a lush green landscape with the yellow sun shining on them above.

Some of the denizens of this land had assumed a Kitsune had stolen lost items from them when things went missing solely due to the creature’s reputation. After a bit of detective work, starting from a single odd feather out in the nearby farm’s chicken coop led to the discovery that there was a visit from a Tengu and that had been the true culprit.

Kiyo enjoyed laying back and listening instead of telling for once, eyes closed as they listened and visualized what was going on in the story. Following it all along, walking in the shoes of the characters. As time passed they got sleepier, her voice soothing any worry they had.

Happy little yawns popped up here and there. Kiyo expended only a small bit of energy to lean up and nuzzle into her hand as she ran soft, gentle hands along their cheek or through their hair.

“Mmm, I know I tell you this a lot but you really are cuter than you’re given credit for.”

“Am I?” they asked, briefly opening their eyes to look up with a flutter.

“Yes, especially when you’re all sleepy like this. You should rest up.”

The next day Kiyo woke up a little bit later than usual. It was still morning but the sun was approaching the peak it would have at midday. The curtains were open so that meant either one of the doctors or nurses or Himiko opened them.

Their wife was up and about, returning a moment later. “Oh, you’re awake! You were still resting when I got up. I brought you something.”

In her hands was a bottle of water and some toast with jam.

“It’s not very much but since it's today it has to be light.”

Kiyo nodded. “Well, it is breakfast in bed served by my beloved. I’d say that its enough~”

They took a drink first and then a few bites of their food. Himiko walked up for a hug when they’d finished eating.

“So, how do you want to spend the rest of the time before they take you in?”

“I’m not sure, there’s plenty to read or we could watch the television.”

“I’ll watch with you.” she said, pulling a seat up.

Kiyo flipped through the channels until something interesting came up and then put the remote on the bedside table. The couple held hands and tried to keep away the anxiety and worry for a few more hours.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later the Doctor came in, asking if they were ready. To which Kiyo nodded.

They looked over to Himiko and gave her hand a squeeze. “I’ll see you again soon honey. Don’t worry about me too much.”

She kissed them and Kiyo reached up around her shoulders to return the kiss.

She waved them goodbye for now, adding before her wife left “I’ll try, but I can’t help but worry at least a little.”

She occupied herself more or less successfully. At least she hadn’t freaked herself out badly. They came back in one piece, still under, just a few hours later. Hours that dragged on yet felt like nothing at all when she knew they were going to be okay.

Her huge grin never left her. Kiyo woke up and looked up so happily tears just about formed.

As the two hugged close, Kiyo said their first words since before the surgery. “Told you I’d be back, This wasn’t so bad now was it?”

“I guess not. I’ll always be here no matter what else you’ll need” Himiko knew there may be a need for further surgery in the future, given what she knew about their medical history from before they met. “That’s what I signed up for after all.”

#himikiyo week #himikiyo #himiko yumeno #korekiyo shinguji #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa #fanfic #writing

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flying-elliska · 5 years ago

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Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions.

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one.

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example : one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work.

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do.

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame.

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand.

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor.

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

#adhd #actually adhd #neurodiversity #mental health #depression #anon asks

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alicedoessurveys · 7 years ago

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loooooong survey

Childhood

Did you spend your childhood time with mostly real or imaginary friends?: real. I spent most summers/half terms with my cousins and my neighbour’s grandkids. Did people consider you an odd child?: not odd, just shy Do you have memories that go back to when you were only a few months old?: nope Do you remember any thoughts you had when you where very young?: not really nope

Were they intricate or simple thoughts?: probably simple but I can't remember

If you answered “intricate”, give an example of one of those thoughts: n/a

Were you dreams very vivid as a child?: yes, still do. I also used to get really bad night terrors a lot as a kid What is the strangest memory you have from early childhood?: can't think of anything strange.. Were you a child prodigy or did you display any gifts at a young age?: I drew a lot, but I was no prodigy What was the most “grown-up” thing you ever said as a child?: I have no idea What were your favourite TV shows in early childhood?: I grew up on Fairly Odd Parents, Rugrats, Tracy Beaker Were you afraid of monsters?: yes, especially zombies Did you believe that fictional characters were real?: yes Were you more quiet and artistic or loud and physical? quiet and artistic Issues and stuff Do you eat meat?: yup, but only beef, chicken and bacon/sausage If you do, what is your justification for it?: I dont feel I need to justify it, just like I wouldn't expect a vegetarian to justify why they dont eat meat. each to their own. If you could legalize 3 things in the US, what would they be?: I dont live in the US, I dont really know their laws and I dont really care Do you believe in the death penalty?: nope Did Mumia do it?: do what..? If you had a choice, which country would you have chosen to be born into?: I like that im English, I just wish I was born in a different part of England cause Birmingham is a shit hole What are your opinions of Michael Moore?: I dont know who that is Describe your feelings about marijuana legalization: I think it should be for those who need it for medical stuff Red, White and Blue is a ghastly color combination, right?: nope What television news coverage do you detest the most?: all of it, I dont watch the news What will you do if Bush is re-elected? Im British, I dont care Which state do you think will drop off into the ocean first?: idk Who do you consider “American Heros”? I feel like these questions are very aimed at Americans Completely Obtuse And Silly Questions Have you ever taken something apart just to see how it worked? yes Do you ever yell at the television while you are alone? Reason?: not yell, but talk to the telly yeah. and not even just while im alone. Name a few things (if any) that you bought on Ebay recently: I cant remember the last time I bought something off eBay Are the Muppetes sinister? Think about it.: nope... o.O Do you watch the Science Channel (Discovery) on a regular basis?: no ive never watched it Ever gotten into an “in person” argument with a total stranger? Discuss: yup. basically I was at this event thing where they had boats and pretty floating lights and shit on a river. we had waited all day to see them and when they were finally coming past we couldn't see them because it was so crowded and there was a “security guy” stood in the way. There was kids infront of me who kept saying they couldn't see because of him so I yelled “MOVE” and he turned around and started arguing with me. Long story short, he eventually moved out the way and found a space where he wasn't blocking anyones view and the people around me thanked me. I felt so awkward after cause im not a confrontational person at all but I was so tired & irritated that I just snapped. Sugar or Honey?: Sugar What’s on your desk right now?: im not sat at my desk atm How many e-mails do you recieve a day?: about 20 Do you think that time travel is a possibility?: no Are you slightly addicted to online tests and surveys?: not addicted, I just enjoy doing them to pass time San Francisco or New York City?: ive never been to either, but I would like to go to New York What are your favorite color combinations?: grey and light blush pink looks nice Close your eyes and type the first random image that pops into your head: I cant because im listening to hairspray so thats all I can see right now Do you enjoy night or day better?: depends what im doing Favorite animal: Dogs Have you ever been to a protest?: Nope, but ive ended up in the same place as a protest was taking place and it was horrible Aggravated a cop on purpose?: No Ever gone train hopping/ridden the rails?: Nope If you could choose a time period in which to live, which would it be?: I’m fine with this one Ever put your hand through a window?: no List a few words you hate the sound of: the c word And a few you like the sound of: idk Are you sick of this survey yet? not really Emotions And Such Have you attempted suicide more than once?: No Cutting?: Yes Do you get violent when you are angry?: Not with people, just with myself or just like throw stuff on the floor like a brat Which emotion are you most consumed by?: fear Are you highly emotive?: Yes Do you discuss problems or keep them to yourself?: keep them to myself, and if I do discuss them I downplay or make jokes Do you fall in love easily?: not in love, but I do fall for people too easy What age/year was the most difficult for you?: around ages 19-now How do you channel your anger/sadness?: shut myself away and cry Ever been addicted to alcohol or drugs?: No

Ever been homeless?: No List a few simple things that make you happy: playing sims, Tumblr, theatre When were you most recently your happiest?: hanging out with nick and Addison the other day Do you consider yourself empathetic?: yes Friends Do you have friends that are drastically different from each other?: my main group of friends is only like 3 people and they have their differences but not drastic differences List a few key traits that all of your friends have in common: my friends are all into gaming, watching films & eating Do you keep in touch with friends from high school?: yes, two of my best friends are from school Have you lost touch with many of your friends?: almost everyone I become friends with end up losing touch in the end but ive been friends with Addison for 10 years and Rhys for 20 years Are they mostly local or long distance?: local When you go out with friends, what kinds of things do you do?: usually go to the arcade, cinema and get food Have you ever been betrayed by a close friend?: yes If yes, are you still friends with that person?: no Are your friends mostly your age, younger or older?: rhys & Addison are 23, nick is 25, I am 22

Do you have a hard time making friends because most people bore you?: no, I have a hard time making friends because im socially awkward Do you like to hang out with friends one-on-one or in groups?: groups, it takes the pressure off in conversations Which of you online friends do you have the most in common with?: I dont have any online friends Family Are you close to your family?: yes What traits are you glad you inherited from them?: faithfulness & a good sense of humour What sitcom does your family most remind you of?: I cant think of anything other than that me and my mom are a lot like Miranda and her mom from the sitcom ‘Miranda’ Does your family live locally or far away?: local Have you ever stopped speaking to someone in your family?: yes Have either of your parents died?: no, thank god Is your family very much like you or are you opposites?: a lot like me How many siblings do you have?: one older sister Has your family ever thrown food at each other?: yes, every christmas season we throw chocolates at each other from the Quality Street or Roses tins Are the holidays a nightmare or a time of joy?: I love Christmas Day and I normally love christmas shopping but this year I found it all very stressful because I was so busy at the theatre and I had no money to buy gifts Do you look like your parents?: ive been told I do List one interesting fact about your family: apparently my dads side of the family is descended from royalty Lovers Gay, Straight, Bi-sexual or no idea?: Straight Married/partnered?: Single Ever gone out with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with?: no Ever broken someones heart?: someone I “dated” in infant school told me when we reunited in senior school that I broke his heart. but I didn't actually do anything so I dont know where he got that from How many serious relationships have you had?: none Have you ever lusted obsessively over someone you knew you couldn’t have?: not obsessively lusted, but I have fancied guys that I knew nothing could ever happen. Do you believe in the theory of soulmates?: yes Ever cheated?: No Been cheated on?: No Thrown someones stuff out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope Had your stuff thrown out on the lawn/stairs/etc.?: Nope Most important emotional qualities of a lover?: someone who makes me feel happy and can make me smile, makes me feel comfortable, is caring, trustworthy, honest, affectionate Most important physical qualities?: I dont think physical qualities are super important but I do fall for peoples eyes & smile Food & Drink Non-alcoholic beverage of choice: cherry coke or caramel hot chocolate Alcoholic beverage of choice: cider Foods you crave on a regular basis: chocolate

Salsa and Chips or Pita and Hummus?: neither Meat or Tofu?: Meat Soup or Salad?: soup Soda or Juice?: Soda Can I get you anything else?: You didn't get me anything..? :’) Favorite candy:: chocolate in general Favorite food to make: lasagne

Food brand that you hate?: idk Do you try to buy all organic?: nope Favorite fast food?: mcdonalds Final Questions Ever had a great song ruined for you after it was used in a commercial?: yes

Ever yelled at an SUV?: nope A Hummer?: Nope Ever faked being sick to get out of going somewhere?: yes If you could turn back time and change one thing, what would it be?: stay in college Bambi or Nemo?: Nemo List 3 things that are worrying you right now: 1, money. 2, a meeting I have to go to next week that im absolutely dreading. 3, I have this constant annoying anxiety that tells me my friends dont actually like me and that I get on everyones nerves. Do you think you’ll ever have children if you don’t already?: not my own now, but I hope to adopt Do you think there is life on other planets?: no Have you ever broken a leg or arm?: nope Would you rather stay in the house or do things outside: depends on my mood David Letterman or Jay Leno?: I dont know who they are Last words?: Bye

#survey #long

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eight8yearslater · 5 years ago

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My first post. Kind of put this off for so long cos i was scared i would get judged or blocked or attacked if i stated my opinion. But since i dont really have followers, I figured, might as well do it. Also I believe im respectful enough not to attract heat and be blocked by people I follow so yeahp.

First, in case someone else does chance upon this post, I’d like to make it clear that I believe Louis and Harry were together at one point. Dont know if it’s official or serious or they were just fooling around and acting on their curiousity but there is NO way that was all platonic. Do I believe theyre together still? I cant say for certain. Im the type of fan who takes in things as they come. Some days im so convinced they are still together but stunts makes me doubt it. Which I think is why exactly the stunts are there for anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️ though to be honest, im leaning towards, yes. I do think they broke up for a brief period in 2015, but even that, im still open to be desuaded.

Second, I have no definite opinion on babygate. Again i take things as they come but I feel like Freddie can be Louis’ and still be with Harry now. Kind of fits the timeline im sort of buying into. But theres also so much that doesnt add up with regard to Briana and Freddie that i would not be surprised if larries were right all along.

That said, I just want to put down into words what I think about Fine Line and the story it tells. This is my blog anyway and I feel like im entitled to write down what I think it might be about.

I think Fine Line tells a story of Harry from the time he joined XFactor and met Louis. The songs, I believe are arranged chronologically and again fits the timeline im leaning towards believing.

GOLDEN

Harry meets Louis. Hes too bright for him. Baby Larry was something else really. Its so fascinating to watch them and kind of heartbreaking when you compare to how they are now in public. Louis was so full of life, so energetic that Harry was more often than not, left in awe.

Despite how Louis was, though, I believe Harry was the braver one and was the one who was more accpeting of his sexuality and feelings. If the rumors are anything to go by, Harry always knew he wasnt straight as opposed to Louis who, until Harry, appears to have been with girls exclusively. His “fear” or feelings of being scared must have come from this or from just maybe, letting other people in, generally.

Watermelon Sugar/Adore You

The Honeymoon stage of the relationship. Watermelon sugar so obviously refers to intimacy (okay fine, SEX) and just being obsessed with the other person. Spending as much time as you want. Makes sense that this was written about the early part of their relationship.

Same with Adore You. Thematically, both songs are about the happy times and promises of adoration, love and commitment.

Lights Up

I’ve always interpretted Lights Up to be about self discovery on the one hand but also a narration of how Harry must have felt while he was in the band. Lights literally meant stage lights which have exposed and caged him at the same time.

The line “lights up and they know who you are”, i believe refers to the public and how they think They know Harry simply because they get to watch him on stage or on television. But despite all of it, the fame etc. couldnt stop the darkness or emptiness Harry feels. No matter what they say, being in a boyband must have put tremendous pressure on all of them. And if Harry is indeed not straight then absolutely not having freedom to express himself or be himself (eve just a little bit) must have been very difficult.

Thus the line “be so sweet if things just stayed the same” must refer to staying in the band. But he can no longer do it and must “step into the light” to more freedom or freedom to express more. And that he’s never going back to a set up where he was so constricted or so controlled as when he was in 1D.

Now here goes my unpopular opinion, but I believe Harry was the cause of the hiatus and must have demanded to get out of the band. Ergo, straining his relationship with Louis. Which could (or could have not) led to a break of some sort or some very difficult trying times in their relationship.

Thus, the breakup/heartbreaking/sad songs.

CHERRY/ FALLING

Now im well aware of the narrative behind Cherry. And it could be true but it could also have been dressed up a bit to fit said narrative. Cherry, could also be about Louis and the time they may have been apart.

I read somewhere, an Anon believes Cherry to be about Camille but that the rest of the album about Louis after Harry realized it was still him. Still makes sense if we believe that H and L have broken up a bit in 2015.

But it could also be a purely stunt song. Cherry seems to be out of place because in it, it is suggested that Harry’s love interest is already gone/broke up with him and “moved on”. Yet Falling which comes after Cherry, and Falling appears to be about couple who just broke up or on the brink of it.

Falling also is about heartbreak and could again be about the time H and L were apart.

To Be So Lonely

...appears to be a transition song of some sort. Could be about reconciliation as Harry slowly admits to being in the wrong and fixing things slowly.

She

i subscribe to the interpretation that its about H’s identity. Still chronological as self discovery is an ever on going process and never really stops. Somewhere between leaving the band and now during HOLO it makes sense that H is still discovering things abt himself.

Sunflower Vol 6/ Canyon Moon

Now this i believe are songs abt Louis. Its happy cos they (depends if you subscribe to the timeline) were able to fix it, they made it. And are in a better place now. Too many lines seemto have been lifted from fandom beliefs and headcanons for it not to be related to L at all.

Treat People With Kindness

simple straight forward song about how Harry must have felt during tour.

Fine Line

Believe this song is for the present. Like a promise and vow that they will be alright despite everything still surrounding them and put upon them.

The song calls to me as very loaded, somber but hopeful. Resigned but full of promises. The instruments/instrumental gives you that nostalgic feeling like “i know who I am now. Ive accepted me. And we’ll be alright”

As said even prior to HS2, i have a general belief/leaning towards the fact that H and L may have broken up for a time. Couldnt really say how long or how short, or if it was an actual break up or merely a rough patch, no one can anyway. But if my interpretation and opinion are a tiny bit accurate then that makes sense right?

Whatever it is, the way H writes abt L matches Louis’ songs too. Too Young, Habit and Defenceless appears to be abt a difficult time in a relationship or even a break up of some sort. But really, when Louis sang these songs in CCME I didnt feel sad or felt like they have indeed broken up. To me, it felt like a declaration that “hey we havent had it easy but even during the times were not together, its you. Youre it”. Theres too much love there not to think or interpret it that way. A person who has been left behind or have left someone wont write abt heartbreak and at the same time declare “YOURE THE ONE”.

Id like to end this first post, by saying that we cant really know the real score between H and L. And at the end of the day we are all speculating. But regardless of their status now, you cant deny how inspiring their love is (or was, depends what your beliefs are).

Hope i can now post more things as they come. I promise, really, not to be a problematic fan.

Please dont fight me??!

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kaleyamdarenawz32insurance-blog · 5 years ago

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pennsylvania insurance department naic

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