#I just watched brokeback mountain if you can’t tell

[ww2yaoi]

tell you what, we coulda had a good life together! fuckin' real good life! had us a place of our own. but you didn't want it! so what we got now is EASY COMPANY REUNIONS

[chososcamgirl]

(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE: TRICK OR TREAT!

masterlist

—

happy halloween! this is not an actual chapter unfortunately, so those who got their hopes up at an early release i’m SORRY 😓 however i consider it more fun! this is what each chapter from the sjap universe would wear on halloween🙂‍↕️ consider it 14.5! i hope you enjoy this as much as i did making it. also shoutout to my babygirl ree for helping me with these. I LOVE YOU BAD! <3

megumi fushiguro as BILLY LOOMIS

“ghostface? nah too basic” the raven states broadly.

sure scream was his favourite horror slasher but dressing up ghostface was too overrated, too tacky. he needed to go as someone more niche, someone he knows nobody would dress up as, someone hotter. introducing billy loomis! still the same franchise just a tad bit more creative! (not entirely but we’ll give him pity points) but man did that he look hot. the fake blood dripping down was the cherry on top. seeing his hair not entirely gelled up for the first time the guys realised he looked like his dad. like a lot

“no shit, we’re related” he said in front of the bathroom mirror as he wets his hair for the 3rd time, trying to perfect his look.

toge rolled his eyes, chewing on his toothpick

“ya know megumi you should’ve just went as ghostface, atleast no one would look at that makeshift shitty hair of yours” toge sneered

megumi turns around, hair soaked as he goes into punch the platinum blonde but misses as the water drips down his face into eyes as he stumbles back into the counter.

“woah slow down, the only person you’re gonna kill is yourself at this rate” yuta quips as he walks in to see what the commotion was going on in the bathroom.

megumi looks at yuta, then back at toge, then back at yuta. his head going side to side frivolously before bursting out laughing.

“what’s so funny?” yuta questioned

“didn’t pin you for the type of guy to dress up as a gay cowboy” he sneers, wiping both tears and the dripping water from his eyes.

toge inumaki & yuta okkotsu as ENNIS & JACK

“what do you mean gay cowboys?” yuta says, slowly turning to toge with an eyebrow raised.

“you mean you seriously never watched brokeback mountain?” megumi asks after recovering from his laugher fit

“am i supposed to?”

he looks at toge who was smirking with that stupid toothpick in his mouth, twirling it around.

“and i thought i was evil” he shakes his head chuckling.

yes, yuta did in fact not know that toge made him dress up as ennis and jack from brokeback mountain (yuta being ennis and toge being jack). in his defence toge did ask if he wanted to go as cowboys for halloween and yuta being yuta obviously said yes. though he did find it suspicious that toge wouldn’t let him pick out just any cowboy costume. he said he had a vision in his head and to just go with it. yuta just thought he was going for a niche version of a cowboy not the version where they’re two bestfriends fucking on top of a mountain. it’s far too late to change their costumes now, so yuta left their condo in what seemed to be “bro-love” going too far. on the other hand toge was EATING it up, strutting the down the streets in the “best costume” (his term) of the night. toge definitely forced yuta to make tiktoks to brokeback mountain audios throughout the night and def went viral LMFAO. poor yuta is embarrassed.

“oh my god, i am mortified” yuta says into his hands after hearing megumi explain the plot of brokeback mountain - he toned it down of course so it wouldn’t kill yuta.

“eh you’ll be fine, it’s not the worst costume in the world”

toge almost caught whiplash by how fast he turned his head. not the worst? what the fuck is that supposed to mean. he knows megumi can’t be talking looking like that.

“you know megumi, with all that blood you could pass as somebody’s diva cup” toge spits at him, obviously hurt.

“did somebody say diva?!”

yuji itadori as ROCKY BALBOA

yes yuji we are talking about you!

this may be fan service for ree… but guys TELL ME YOU DON’T SEE IT ASWELL? i could not find a rocky costume that i thought was fitting but imagine the second picture but with his shirt off🙂‍↕️ yeah…. just thinking thoughts…

yuji would be getting stared at ALL NIGHT and gets asked for tons of pictures in his costume because he looks so damn good. he definitely makes tiktok thirst trap edits because at the end of the day he’s still just a loser trapped in a hot body </3 the guys end up going through a haunted house and yuji actually gets scared and knocks one of the workers out… he blames it on method acting so he doesn’t get the cops called on him and somehow it works? also trust he is flexing his muscles the entire night and challenges literally everybody (mostly girls) to arm wrestle him. his go-to pick up line throughout the night is “if i win i get your number, if you win you get mine” and he winks at them before the countdown. CORNY but it works (i would fold as well sorry)

“yuji stop flexing yours abs for one second it’s gross, you look like a male prostitute” toge groans in disgust as he kicks rocks on the sidewalk”

“the correct term is actually jiggalo, and i think you’re just jealous that i’m hot and cool and you’re just a shitty gay cowboy” yuji replies back through a smile as he waves to everybody who’s pointing at him

“IT’S BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN”

“ooooo is that the name of the new club that opened?”

if you guys want more boxer yuji go read BATTERED N’ BLUE by the lovely @aozui <3

yn as MAXINE MINX

life being the baddest isn’t easy and it especially isn’t easy when it comes to choosing a halloween costume. between wanting to be hot, but also niche, but not too niche! but enough that it surpasses basic, but also fun... did i mention hot? so who better to dress up than someone who fits all the requirements than none other than maxine minx!

yn had this planned months ago. she wanted everything to be perfect down to a T, and she was not the type to pull something last minute out of her ass. she was not going to put on an amazon corset and call it a day. hell, it wasn't even just her, the whole apartment had planned their costumes in june. if serving cunt was a dysfunctional group of roommates it was them. think bodies bodies bodies x scream 6... yeah i would not want to be their enemies if a psycho killer was going around murdering people. and best believe their group pictures are turning out so hot (partly due to the personal photographer they booked before LMFAO) but everyone knows the other part is their well-thought-out costumes.

"oh my god did you really bleach your eyebrows for this" a familiar voice commented at her as she walked into the kitchen.

"the dedication is crazy, but i guess you still look hot."

a smile broke out of her, still focusing on preparing drinks for the party of the century.

"it's just concealer babe", she replies as she looks up from the drink station to where she was met with nobara, who was sitting on the sage love chair in an all too familiar pose.

"no fucking way... are you-?"

nobara kugisaki as CATHERINE TRAMELLE

what’s better than one cover girl? two cover girls!!! or in this case replace cover girl with evil femcel maneater final boss!

the party girls have a tradition of watching a horror/slasher movie each sunday during october, so when nobara said she hasn't watched basic instinct last year, trust it was the first movie they watched on that first sunday.

"ugh, i just know she would of made a bomb fucking costume for halloween", nobara groans.

"too bad you're already going as marie antoinette" panda sighs.

"there's always next year" yn states, clearing up the popcorn on the coffee table.

and next year indeed.

meticulously choosing each article of clothing and hand picking accessories so she could be the emodiment of catherine tramelle. even though she was one glass of red wine away from being mistaken as a housewife of beverly hills, it didn't matter. dressing up as someone so smart, so sinister, so sexy was the principle itself. she didn't care if nobody understood who she was or being asked if she knew it was a halloween party, not a dinner at nobu - she knew she was that fucking girl. but of course, most people knew who she was, even the cute girl standing by the drinks station who was ogling her the entire night and who so badly wanted nobara's number. spoilers: she got it.

"i can't believe you actually stuck with", yn says after managing to close her jaw.

"god you look hot"

nobara smirks at her reaction.

"i wasn't going to let the opportunity slip pass that easily" nobara smirks to herself.

before yn could respond, a loud bang followed by the sound of a door being slammed interrupted her train of thought.

"FUCK!"

both the girls' heads whipped around the find a panicking maki pacing out her room.

"has anyone seen my anastasia lip liner?" she huffs, crossing her arms.

maki zenin as BETTY BOOP

the look, the lips, the hips, the taste… everybody please welcome miss zenin!!!

"no but have you seen an extra pair of panties? i need to change."

i mean this costume was in the works since her hair cut. i mean come on… IT’S PERFECT? maki as betty boop? nah betty boop as maki zenin! uh huh nodding my head right now. an iconic if not the iconic costume in the apartment. maki is not one to typically wear dresses - mostly sticking to jeans, shorts & skirts and the occasional jorts but DRESSES? you’d have to be either jesus or yuta to convince her to put one on let alone a mini dress. and good lord she looked good. yuta almost had a heart attack when she sent him a picture of her costume. yeah it was gonna be a long night for him.

she rolled her eyes at the remark but can’t help the smile that betrays her facade. she looks over to the silhouette standing in the hallway, almost… waiting?

“panda we aren’t playing a theme song just for you to come out just show us your costume already”, maki sighs

he stomps into the living room with a sulk in his step.

“you guys are boring bitches”, he huffs.

panda as a SONNY ANGEL

the girls all had their mouths shaped in an ‘o’ as he entered, hands on hips - giving the most sass imaginable.

“panda what happened”, nobara stifled a giggle behind her hand.

so this was not panda's original costume but his backup one... unfortunately for him, his original costume was to go as a slutty version of batman but he was then met with his long awaited karma..

RIIIIIIP

“oh my fucking god” he said to himself as he hesitantly checks the back of his costume. he finds a hole right where his left ass cheek is.

a big one.

luckily for him, he’s immune to costume malfunctions and bought a back up for times like this. sure it wasn’t as creative or risqué as slutty batman but it was the next best thing.

“i don’t want to talk about”, he mumbles, earning an eruption of laughs from the girls.

he stood there in silence as they speculate what on earth could have happened to his original costume. eventually he told them which then lead to another fit of giggles. atleast that was over. they had a party to plan. and besides, sonny angels are supposed to bring you good luck right?

wrong.

the night was a mess. panda got atleast 7 different drinks spilt on him that night and almost got into a fight with todo because he won the ‘best costume’ contest. (he was a passenger seat and mai was chappel roan).

—

BONUS COSTUMES!

as we know there are two weekends where halloween is celebrated, and this year is no different. debate after debate, "should we celebrate halloween the week before or 2 days after the actual event?" well, why not both! both the party girls and tridant came together to complete the "maze of death" (it was just a corn maze, famous for the actors jump scaring you every now and then - similar to the haunted house the boys went to, but much more intense) these set of costumes are what both groups wore on halloweekend 2 + how each character would react during a haunted maze!

megumi as THE SCARECROW

megumi got confused and thought yn’s costume last week was hers this week and decided to match with her without telling her. (he thought it would of scored him brownie points) though when he found out yn was dressed up as someone else he was immediately embarrassed. yn thought it was adorable how he tried to match with her so called costume and gave him a kiss on the cheek as a recognition for his efforts. (definitely got those brownie points)

he walks WAY ahead. he wants it OVER with >"if i walk faster, they can't get me" type mf. he's miserable but can't take yn laughing behind him at all. he’s going through many stages of grief.

he unfortunately has to lead the group through it even though he's pretty scared himself, but he calms himself by saying "toge def was worse" or some shit. (spoilers he was in fact worse)

yuji as XANDRA

i hate gay halloween, what do you mean you’re xandra from papa’s freezeria?

oh he scares the workers BACK. my king.

had full intentions of scaring yuta during it but got caught off guard and accidentally punched the workers that personally jump-scared him because he's automatically triggered into fight or flight mode like no tomorrow.

yn & toge as SHARPAY AND RYAN EVANS

they came up with this idea when toge was at their apartment doing the usual antics (eating all their food) and saw yn watching high school musical. told her it would make a pretty good halloween costume as a duo and he saw the bulb light up in her head.

first they have a competition who won't be scared but i fear they are desperately clinging onto each other 10 seconds in then act like NOTHING happened once they exit toge is scared so much he can't talk, yn is pale as fuck, and they agree to never talk about it.

(yn says she won the competition 2 hours later)

maki & yuta as a COP AND PRISONER

everyone awwed at them when they saw their costumes. i mean how could you not? #coupleoftheyear

oh yeah so…. yuta wanted to ditch at the entrance but maki hauled his ass with her. he doesn't do well at all, he pukes at the end and maki just patted him on the back.

maki has a poker face throughout the whole thing. does not gaf. she is not scared at all and corrects how they can be scarier to their FACE mid scare. the workers almost walk out.

nobara & panda as the BEE & COOKIE

committing to the ynmegumi bit so bad im ctfu.

panda’s more depressed about how he missed the volunteer dates in order to work at it. but like yuta, he screams so much it haunts nobara’s ears. he screams like a little girl. he almost pisses his pants and hides behind nobara but it makes him a BIGGER target because ofc they're gonna see a 6 ft giant trying to hide??? the haunted house workers def bully panda in the groupchat after their shift ends. he tries to act all tough afterwards saying he "handled it like a champ".

nobara has an average reaction ywkim, she does scream and does get scared but she's literally fine. she NEVER lets panda live it down though, she has a video of panda screaming too.

taglist: @shokosbunny @luvvmae @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @noodles-icetea @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @boopbepzlerp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @pastriepuppy @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm

*if i can’t tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!

[angegiarratanawriter]

TNTL Horny Addition

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 3371

Summary: During an episode of Try Not To Laugh, you break Angela in an unconventional way

Being on the Try Not To Laugh stage has always been surreal for you. Having grown up watching the original episodes that were posted few and far between, it’s been so cool getting to see the show grow and gain its own cult following. It’s honestly one of the reasons that you had decided to audition for Smosh in the first place, and now, getting to be on that stage is one of the coolest things in the world.

This week on TNTL, you’re getting to work with Chanse, Amanda, Courtney, Tommy, and Angela. It’s a great line up, one that you know is going to be a hit once it goes up, if only because the chemistry between Angela and Chanse always makes for a killer video. It also helps that this episode is Simon Says, a clear fan favorite.

As the crew gets everything set up on stage, you pull out your phone and go into your notes app, pulling up the list of bits that you’ve jotted down over the past couple of months. As you’re scrolling, you find one that you’ve been workshopping for Angela. It’s a little bit hardcore, but you think that at this point your relationship is secure enough where you won’t get into too much trouble if you do it. You just hope you get the chance.

Emily calls the cast together to start shooting the intro, so you slip your phone into your pocket with a little smirk. You walk over and take your spot beside Angela, who immediately notices the smile tugging at your lips. She quirks an eyebrow at you in question, but you just shake your head and mouth ‘you’ll see’. Before she can say anything in protest, Courtney starts the into.

“Hey, everyone! Welcome back to another episode of Try Not To Laugh. This week we’re doing Simon Says, so the person in the chair gets to choose a theme or prop that everyone has to use. You know the rest of the drill, try to make each other laugh, spit out the water, blah blah blah. So, who wants to go first?”

“Ooh, I will!” Amanda says eagerly. “I want all of your bits to be set in a Western.”

“Nice,” Chanse says, doing a little fist pump.

While Amanda takes her seat in the stool, everybody heads to the prop area to start prepping their bits. Tommy and Chanse go out first and do their “Gay Cowboys” bit, which looks suspiciously like a recreated scene from Brokeback Mountain. Courtney goes next, wearing a tiny cowboy hat that immediately gets the laugh. As everyone takes their turn, you figure out what you want to do.

“Hey Ange, can I borrow your shirt?” you ask.

“Sure.”

Angela shucks off the white button down that she has on, leaving her in a form fitting black tank top. You take a minute to appreciate her arms before remembering that you have a job to do. You shed your own shirt and put hers on, only doing up the bottom two buttons so that your torso is left completely exposed. You then grab the fluffy pink cowboy hat off of the shelf and grab Courtney to help you.

As soon as you walk on stage, Amanda’s eyes go wide as she looks at your outfit. She pauses slightly on your torso, and you can’t tell if it’s because she recognizes Angela’s shirt or because she’s staring at your stomach. You take a quick glance back over your shoulder, before turning back to Courtney and starting your bit.

“Well, that was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” you say with a fake southern accent.

“I’ll say,” Courtney agrees, matching your tone. “I just don’t understand one thing-”

“It’s better you don’t try to. Things like this are better left to rest.”

“But-”

“Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.”

Amanda smacks her hand on her thigh at the reference and turns to the side, spitting the water out before breaking out into legitimate laughter. You’re honestly surprised that this bit was such a success, as it honestly wasn’t your strongest idea out of the gate. Shrugging, you start to walk back towards the prop area but Amanda’s voice stops you.

“Wait, I wanna know what happened!”

“Uh…strippers in a motel?”

“What?” Amanda says, still laughing. “That has nothing to do with the movie.”

“I know,” you say, winking.

Without explaining any further, you turn around and walk back stage, letting Chanse take the floor. You walk slowly over to the monitor, taking the cowboy hat off and placing it back on the shelf on the way by as you watch his bit. As you pull off the button down shirt that you’d borrowed, you feel eyes on boring into your back.

You look over your shoulder to find Angela staring at you, her eyes dark and her lips slightly parted. A little smirk tugs at your lips, and it takes every ounce of self control that you have to refrain from teasing her. Under normal circumstances, you would, but nobody actually knows that you’re dating and there’s a camera on the prop area. Instead you settle for shooting her a wink that won’t be caught before grabbing your own shirt and pulling it on.

“Here,” you say softly, handing over the button down.

“Thanks,” she says, swallowing hard.

“No problem.”

When Amanda’s turn in the chair is done, Chanse takes her place and chooses to make everyone use the little toy chainsaw. Courtney ends up going classic with a Boneless bit, Tommy pretends to cut down a tree that falls on you, Angela chases Amanda around with it, and then they reverse for Amanda’s turn. When it gets to be your turn, you go out with no plan, and end up doing a hilariously bad monologue. It doesn’t get the laugh, but Chanse gives you a nod on your way off the stage.

Courtney’s turn is all about things going wrong on planes, so you trail out an allergic reaction bit where you use a massive sword as an epi pen. Tommy does a safety monologue while mimicking turbulence, Chanse and Angela do a two part bit that is similar to the flight simulator video that they did a while ago, and Amanda puts on a terrible wig and pretends to be the worst flight attendant ever.

Once Courtney’s turn is done, it’s Angela’s turn to take the stool. This is what you’ve been waiting for, and you can only hope that she ends up choosing something that will work with what you have planned. It takes her a minute to finally come up with a rule, but when she does, you do a little silent celebration with yourself.

“Alright, it’s opposite day, folks,” Angela says. “Do with that what you want.”

Smirking to yourself, you walk back to the prop area to get ready for your bit. You spend a minute reversing some things in your head before you get the go ahead from Emily. As you step out onto the stage, Angela looks up, and surprise colors her features. You can only assume it’s because you didn’t bring any props with you, but you know you won’t need any. A sly smirk tugs at your mouth as you stop behind her, leaning in so that your lips almost brush her ear.

“I know that you’re used to being the top in this relationship, but there are a few things that I want to do to you when we get home,” you whisper, your voice low enough that it won’t be picked up by the mics. “First, I’m going to fuck you against our front door, and then, after you’ve come at least twice, I’m going to carry you to our bedroom and handcuff you to the bed posts. From there, you have two options. I can go down on you until my jaw is sore or I can put the strap on and fuck you until you can’t feel your legs.”

The whole time you’ve been whispering in Angela’s ear, you’ve watched a deep blush start to creep up the back of her neck. You can tell she’s trying so hard to hold it together, but as you give her the options, she chokes on the water in her mouth and ends up coughing it out. Her head whips around to look at you, her dark eyes trailing a path down your body before coming back up and locking you into a staring match.

“Remember,” you say, a little bit louder so that the mics can catch it. “It’s opposite day.”

With a little wink, you turn around and walk back to the prop area, letting Amanda take your place on the stage. Throughout the rest of her time in the stool, Angela looks incredibly distracted. She hardly laughs at anyone else’s bit, only coming close when Chanse comes out in almost full drag.

“Girl, what did you say to her?” Amanda asks as she adjusts her wig.

“Something that’s probably going to get me in huge trouble,” you murmur.

As Angela’s turn ends, you head back out to get the rule for Tommy’s turn. He ends up choosing ‘the worst pick up lines’. Chanse rolls out the classic Tennessee one, while Amanda says something about eating dessert before dinner. Courtney goes insane with a line about looking for a third, while Angela goes so dirty that you’re sure that her entire line is going to end up getting bleeped. As you step out onto the stage for your turn, you decide to go classic as well.

“Roses are red, violets are blue,” you say, stopping center stage and batting your eyelashes at Tommy. “I really, really wanna fuck you.”

“Oh shit,” Chanse says from the back, cackling at the wide eyed look on Tommy’s face. “Do another, do another.”

“Violets are blue, roses are thorny, you make me very, very horny.”

That does it, and Tommy spits out the water he’d been holding in his mouth before starting to laugh so hard that he almost falls out of his chair. The crew is cracking up too, and you can see Emily exchanging a look with Shayne off camera. You think you hear something about Courtney having used that line on him when they first started dating, but before you can address it, you’re being ushered to sit in the stool.

“Okay, uhm, I’m gonna go with ‘weirdest things you can get delivered’.”

Amanda ends up going first, getting you with her classic PUS uniform and a tiny toilet that makes a flushing noise. Tommy goes next, coming in with Chanse dressed in a tiger suit and on a leash. Courtney brings out a box of vaguely phallic items, and then Tommy brings in the ripped scroll pretending that its the Declaration of Independence. Finally, it’s Angela’s turn, and you’re honestly a little nervous. She struts out in an FBI jacket and a pair of sunglasses, a pair of handcuffs in her hand.

“You’re under arrest for stealing hearts,” Angela declares.

“Awww, that’s adorable,” Courtney coos from backstage.

“No, it’s not. She’s literally stealing hearts and selling them on the black market. It’s about time that justice is delivered.”

The tiniest little inhale is all it takes to make your life a living hell, as you feel water get pulled down into your lungs. A cough threatens to burst from your throat, but you manage to force your mouth to stay closed, and no water comes out. When you regain control, you stand up and turn around, presenting your hands behind your back. Angela takes them and slaps the cuffs on with practiced ease before leaning in to whisper in your ear.

“You like this, don’t you? Well don’t you worry, you’re gonna get everything that you asked for.”

—

True to her word, the first thing that Angela does when you walk through the front door is pin you against it. A harsh moan slips from your mouth as she pushes a leg in between yours, but it’s swallowed when she connects your lips in a heated kiss. You feel hands move up to your hips, and your breath stutters out when they force you down onto a hard thigh. The movement creates delicious friction, and you suddenly find yourself in the middle of a chase.

As Angela works your hips in a steady rhythm, she starts to kiss down your jaw. As she gets to your neck, you feel her suck gently, hard enough that you can feel it but soft enough that it won’t leave a hickey. Your hips jerk at the sensation, and you suddenly feel an overwhelming need to have her mark you anywhere, everywhere, so you grab the back of her head and pull her in closer.

“Fuck, harder,” you stutter out.

“Is that permission?” Angela asks.

“God yes.”

You feel Angela smirk against your neck before she sucks a patch of your skin into her mouth and lavishes it with her tongue. A harsh moan falls from your lips as she pulls your hips down harder against her leg, and you start to feel the tell tale signs of your high. A rush of warmth spirals down your spine, and your lower stomach starts winding tighter and tighter until it finally snaps.

“Fuck!” you moan, tossing your head back against the door.

The white behind your eyelids blinds you, and you find yourself reaching out for something to hold you steady. Through it all, you feel Angela pressing soft kisses into your neck as she slowly starts to bring you back down. When you’re finally able to open your eyes, you find her already looking at you with an adoring expression on her face.

“So pretty,” Angela murmurs, tracing a finger down your cheek. “I can’t wait to fucking ruin you.”

“Then don’t,” you pant out.

Angela doesn’t waste a second, shifting her hands down your body and positioning them on the backs of your legs before scooping you up. It takes longer than it should to reach the bedroom, with both of you getting distracted by the smallest kiss or touch. When you finally make it, she places you gently down onto the edge of the bed and takes a step back, looking at you with hungry eyes.

“Get undressed,” Angela orders. “Now.”

You immediately scramble into a sitting position, pulling your shirt above your head before unclipping your bra and tossing them both to the side. As you work on getting your sneakers off, you watch Angela start to get undressed too. It takes her less time, and soon she’s walking over to her side table butt naked while you work overtime to get your skinny jeans down your legs.

By the time you manage to pull your panties off, Angela has already gotten everything prepped. There’s a pair of handcuffs threaded through the bars of the headboard, and she’s wearing your favorite strap. You can tell by the way that it’s glistening that she’s already put some lube on it, and that’s confirmed when you look up to see her wiping the stickiness from her hands with a tissue.

“Get up here,” Angela orders, nodding to the head of the bed. “On your back, legs spread, hands above your head.”

Not wanting to waste a second, you crawl up the bed and lay back against the pillows. It takes you a minute to get comfortable, but when you do, you obey the rest of Angela’s orders and put your hands above your head while parting your legs for her. Once you’re in position, she climbs on top of you and reaches up, snapping the cuffs tightly around your wrists.

“Pull,” Angela orders, so you do. “Comfortable?”

“Yes,” you reply.

“Good. If you want to stop at any time-”

“Just tell you. I know, baby.”

“Okay,” Angela says softly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “Are you ready?”

“So ready.”

With a nod, Angela turns her attention downwards and brushes the strap over your clit a few times. The action sends a jolt of arousal through you, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing. She looks up at you one last time, and when you nod, she lines up with your entrance and starts to push in slowly. As she bottoms out, you’re taken a bit by surprise as a wave of heat rolls down your spine.

“Fuck, this isn’t gonna take long,” you mutter, blushing.

“Already, baby?” Angela teases.

Instead of dignifying her with an answer, you grit your teeth and and curl your fingers around the headboard, getting ready to hang on for dear life. You give a brief little nod, and then Angela is moving, setting a slow and steady pace that feels so fucking good but leaves you aching for more. Still, you had been close when you started and that hasn’t changed. If anything, it’s worse now, with Angela looking down at you, her lips parted, and the strap hitting just the right spot.

“Fuck,” you moan, your hands pulling at the cuffs. “Fuck, baby, I-”

“I know,” Angela says softly, her hips speeding up. “Take what you need.”

The pleasure spills over, and you feel yourself being thrown in to a mind blowing orgasm. Your entire body shudders as shock waves roll through you, bringing you up as high as you’ve ever been. As the pleasure starts to fade back to baseline, you tilt your head back against the pillows to try to force some air into your lungs. This opens up an opportunity for Angela to attach her lips to your neck again, and she takes it.

As your girlfriend sucks another mark into your collarbone, she starts to speed her hips up. The tip of the strap is hitting your g-spot on every stroke, and you can tell that it won’t be long until you reach another high. Not long ends up being sooner than expected, and your orgasm surprises you when Angela bites down hard on your neck. The comedown is a little bit rough this time, and you can feel the oversensitivity start to set in.

“Baby, I need you to come,” you say, your breath stuttering. “I don’t think I can take much more.”

“Do you want me to stop?” Angela asks, looking up in concern.

“God no. But I only have one more left in me.”

“I can work with that.”

Angela speeds up her hips until she’s practically slamming into you, the force of her thrusts causing the headboard to smack against the wall. The sound is obnoxious and sure to piss off your neighbors, but you can’t bring yourself to care when your girlfriend is making you feel this good. You feel her hips start to stutter, and you know that she’s close, so you do everything you can to help her along, rutting your hips up into her to increase the friction.

“Fuck, I’m there,” Angela moans. “Come with me.”

Never one to disobey an order, you feel your stomach tighten before a spark of pleasure steamrolls through your body. You gasp for air, trying and failing to get any in. It takes you a long time to come down, long enough that Angela is looking at you with a cute little pout on her face when you do finally open your eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you says, leaning up to press a soft kiss to your girlfriend’s lips. “Just a little over stimmed.”

“Do you want me to pull out?”

“Please.”

With an adorable little nod, Angela carefully separates your bodies. Once she’s pulled completely put of you, she grabs the keys to the handcuffs and unlocks them before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. She returns a minute later with a warm wash cloth and no strap in sight. A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as she starts to wipe the wetness from your thighs, and you sigh softly.

“I love you,” you murmur.

“And I love you,” Angela replies, looking up with a smile. “Now get up and go pee, you don’t want to get a UTI.”

[millie-mar]

think i’m in love with you

part 1

in which Eddie believes that gay men can be friends with straight guys without there being any subtext to their relationship. duh he’s got a friendship like that! well, had. guess he was proven wrong.

| 1k words | modern!steddie | bestfriends!steddie |

A lot of people believe that women and men cannot be friends. And before you disagree, let me give you this example.

It was my last year of highschool, and I became really good friends with Chrissy. Average height, blonde, on the thinner side as most cheerleaders are, but she stood out from them. She wasn’t homophobic for one, but there was an aura around her, that compelled you to be friends with her. She invited me over to watch Brokeback Mountain; she had a huge crush on Jake Gyllenhaal while I was jacking off to Heath Ledger almost every night. I’m not anymore. That afternoon, we went to hers straight away. She was still wearing the school’s cheerleading outfit, the green and white suited her nicely. She opened the front door which wasn’t even locked and to my surprise I heard voices inside.

“Your parents are here?” I whispered to her, stopping at the entrance.

“Yeah, but it’s fine. Don’t worry Eds.” She closed the door behind us with a loud thud.

“Chrissy? Honey is that you?” a female voice erupted from within the house, Chrissy’s mum, my guess was.

“Yeah. Eddie’s here, we’re gonna go upstairs,” Chrissy shouted back, grabbing my hand and taking me towards the stairs.

“Keep the door open at all times,” a male voice exclaimed, weary clear in his voice.

“He’s gay dad!” Chrissy sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, heard that before,” his tone shifted, this time he sounded tired.

Chrissy rolled her eyes once again, mumbling something under her breath.

However, with how the world’s started to progress now, and how people started to accept the queer community, this has changed a bit. Now, every time a gay guy befriends a man, people immediately assume they’re going out. And with the media internationally making stories about straight men ‘turning’ gay, let’s say some like to butt their noses into others business. But gay men can be friends with straight guys without any kind of subtext to their relationship.

“I think I’m in love with you!” are the first words I hear from my best friend, Steve Harrington, the straightest man I know. And I think to myself.

“Fuck.”

“What?” Steve’s puppy eyes catch me off guard. Shit I said that out loud.

“Uhh what are you saying Harrington.” I let him in and just now I realise the guy is drenched, the rain chasing him as I close the door behind him.

“I- I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and that was just… I think I’m in love with you.” he stutters horribly, which is unusual for Steve. I squint my eyes at him.

“Man, we’ve been friends for the twenty hears that we’ve been alive. You’ve seen my dick more times than any guy I’ve been with. If you were in love with me I would have realised.” I laugh it off, not meeting his gaze as I pick up a pillow off the floor and throw it on the couch. But I can feel his eyes boring into my head.

“Eddie, I’m not kidding.” His voice is stern, confident all of a sudden. I turn to look at him and fuck, am I in trouble. I have to admit, I have always thought Steve is beautiful, hot and everything in between, but nothing more than that. Never really had the hots for him. But fuck me, the way his eyes have darkened, brows slightly furrowed, his pinkish lips closed in a tight line. He’s angry and I’ll be lying if I said that wasn’t turning me on. What the fuck?

I grab his hand and pull him towards the door with a ‘you come in you’re dead’ sign, the door to my room. I push him in, slamming the door behind us and leaning on its surface, my head down, curls covering my vision.

“Prove it,” I say, my voice cracking slightly at the words that escaped my mouth. What am I saying?

I can’t see Steve’s face, but I’m waiting for him to tell me it’s some stupid joke, so we can laugh about it in ten years time when he’s happily married with little Harringtons running around and screaming. He’d have some high position job at a company, maybe he’d be a CEO, and we’ll keep in touch, barely but we will. He’ll tell me about another happy year with his wife, while I’ll tell him about another couple week relationship of mine that failed because the guy was either secretly married or fucking other people.

I’m so focused on my own spiralling thoughts that I just now come to my senses when I feel huge hands cupping my cheeks. Steve is now standing right in front of me, the tips of his white sneakers touching with the tips of my black combat boots. He brings my face up to meet him eye to eye. The brown of his eyes so much lighter than earlier in the apartment’s living area. So warm, the intensity of his stare is making me feel all giddy inside. His eyes shift between mine and my lips, he flutters them closed and kisses me. The softness of his lips is reflected in how softly he’s pressed them to mine. A little reluctant, or maybe just affectionate. I wouldn’t know, all the guys always kissed me with such fervour, this is a nice change. The initial shock passes and I fist his yellow shirt to bring him closer to me, our chests closer together. My lips move on their own, returning the kiss before I can think about it further, as if on instinct. Usually I’m more composed, I don’t let the moment get to me, so why? Why today? And why with him?

Part 2 ->

[butch--dean]

Thinking about Dean during the Stanford era just before everything went down going to see Brokeback Mountain in theaters. He heard whispers about it but would deny that he knew anything about it if anyone had been around to ask. One night he sneaks into a theatre in a mid-sized town (not so big that it would be busy, not so small that he would stand out). He buys tickets for a different film and sneaks into a late-night showing, and makes sure to sit in the back so he can avoid the judgmental gaze of other patrons (they're not judging you, Dean, they're here for the same reason you are).

Thinking about Dean watching the slow-building yearning and the casual displays of intimacy and affection between Jack and Ennis during their summer ranching. Thinking about how they both go on to get married and have kids but continue to feel so deeply dissatisfied with their lives. Thinking about their reunion 4 years later and a kiss so frenzied that it bruised their noses. Thinking about twenty years of back-and-forth, of yearning for something one of them is too afraid of have. Thinking about the heartbreak of “I wish I knew how to quit you” and “sometimes I miss you so much I can’t hardly stand it” and "it's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this," and "there ain't ever enough time." Thinking about Dean silently breaking down during Ennis' call to Jack's widow, and again when he enters the closet of his lover's childhood bedroom to find a relic of their relationship, hidden away in a dark corner. Private. Loved.

When Dean left the theatre, he was a changed person - heartbroken for something that, in that very moment, he couldn't name within himself. I think that he carries the story with him throughout the series. Eventually, he is able to name that heartbreak - of loving someone so completely but never being able to say it. Of fearing what others would do if they knew, of having someone but never allowing yourself to actually have it.

Of course he sees the comparisons to be made between Cas and him. He sees what his insistence in believing in Cas, even when his gut tells him otherwise, means. He understands what is being left unspoken in long, drawn out gazes and crooked smiles. He knows that their post-death hugs and late nights spent chatting with each other while watching the old westerns that Dean loves mean so much more than they pretend.

I think that over the years, Dean would return to the film and re-mourn the loss of Jack. Over and over, on nights when Sam is out late researching in an archive and Dean knows he has a few hours alone. He has a torrented copy (because he can't risk the physical evidence being found, even after settling into the bunker). I think that Charlie probably downloaded for him, because of course - she knew. Maybe she slipped it in a batch of movies Dean requested from her, with a few of her own added in for good measure. He regrets never having the chance to thank her for that.

After Cas dies and goes to the empty, Dean hangs the jacket with the bloody handprint on the inside of his dresser door. He stands there and thinks about Ennis finding his and Jack's bloody shirts intertwined in a hidden spot in the back of his closet, together, after his death. Dean stands, staring at the jacket, heartbroken. He thinks about loving and losing and never-really-having. Of letting yourself bask in the sun, shining on your face. If he can't have Cas, he wishes that the universe, or Chuck, or whatever, had at least seen fit to have left him with Cas's trench coat to protect on the inside of his stained jacket. But it (or he) didn't, all he has left is the relic of his not-lover's handprint, marked in blood.

[bengiyo]

Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse Ep 2 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

Yesterday, we returned to The Eclipse and saw our student prefect boys and their boyfriends. We got to enjoy Akk and Ayan’s honeymoon camping trip before returning to the world and stumbling over some of their fundamental differences. Kan and Thua are being cute, but Thua would much prefer they engage in activities GMMTV is not brave enough to show. We all got to lament that Akk and Kan are still fantasizing about their boyfriends rather than engaging with them directly about what they want from each other. Wat is that film friend who definitely made a watch list for Akk that included Brokeback Mountain (and which I hope includes Big Eden (2000)). Namo is here, proving that Pawin was the primary scheduling conflict for Our Skyy 2.

On the political front, Golf continued to explore the ideas of the private and the public, and how these two impact each other. We also got to appreciate Golf’s deep love for Thai cinema itself. Finally, Golf continues to voice their frustration for what we might call keyboard warriors.

I’m having a great time, despite my need to voice my own issues with how we talk about these shows earlier.

I can’t listen to this intro anymore. I’m skipping it for the rest of Our Skyy 2.

I don’t want to get flagged, so I’m just gonna say I noticed how flexible Khaotun’s back is.

These two are so fun when they’re being sweet with each other. I hope Akk gets better at telling Ayan that’s what he likes best.

Love Wat and Namo teasing all of them. Ayan’s satisfied smirk at Kan and Thua spending the night together was priceless.

I love how meta Golf can be sometimes. “They’re talking about caring too much about others versus caring only about themselves…but it’s still the same story as before.” Also, Pawin is available. Please hire him.

Khaotun and First are so incredibly expressive, and you can feel how easily the emotions flow between them. You can see Akk and Ayan choosing each other even as they don’t know how to get past this fundamental disagreement they’re having.

“I think people hate or are afraid of something because they don’t really understand it.” “We’re so happy to be a part of your stupid dream.” GOLF IS COMING FOR NECKS!

Love seeing gay people on bicycles.

I’m enjoying the way these two kiss. It’s been satisfying. First and Khaotung follow through on the physicality between their characters after the lips stop touching so you know how they’re feeling.

I kinda like this brown outfit they put Thua in.

I feel like the others maybe know that Ayan has a surprise planned for Akk?

Akk, baby boy, it’s okay for you to tell your boyfriend that you want him around on your special day. So sad that it’ll be years before he stops putting everyone before himself.

Namo said You Can’t Text Message Breakup.

I’m sorry, but there should not be this much discussion at the urinal. Also, don’t touch your friend after using the urinal.

I love that Golf always cameos in their work.

There’s a kid from Niyomsil school here? I now need to investigate the history of Golf’s friendship with Au.

Okay, I cried a bit at Wat’s stunned reaction to winning an award.

I love film festivals so much!!

First is a great crier, but I still don’t like the birthday surprise trope.

Oh good. The friends knew about the surprise.

Sani smiling fondly at the boys also was an excellent choice.

I continue to love the text-level messaging in this show. You have to keep going even if you don’t know if there’s light at the end of the tunnel because you’ve done it before. You can do it again. You will do it again. That felt so honest from Kan.

I like how far along Kan and Thua have come, and I hope Thua gets the relationship he wants from Kan.

I have a lot of hopes for Akk and Ayan. They’re going to deal with long-distance romance and the continued difficulties of their perspectives, but the bond between them feels real.

They really gave us a shower scene and a domestic montage. We eatin’ good today.

Oh, I enjoyed that final “I love you” bed scene into a very suggestive removal of a shirt makeout and purposeful thigh grab. Very excited to see what First and Khaotung deliver in Only Friends.

Vice Versa next week with a secret baby trope. So…I guess that’s happening.

Final Verdict: 9, Recommended. I continued to enjoy what Golf was doing with this cast and characters. I loved how imperfect everyone felt here, but the desire to be more together lands clearly for me. Khaotung and First continue to be two of my favorite GMMTV actors, and I like how well they work together. I’m going to miss seeing Neo and Louis together, but I hope they keep up the good work this year. If you enjoyed The Eclipse, I think you’ll be satisfied by this special.

[dukeofdelirium]

Let’s talk about something more positive: what are your top 10 gay ships?

Oh god idk if I have 10 but let’s see!

1) lawlight. 1000000000% LAWLIGHT lmao! I’m obsessed. OBSESSED with them. I’ve been obsessed with this ship for over 14 years. They make me actually rabid and crazy like nothing else. Everything about this ship and their dynamic drives me nutty. They are the only real “enemies to lovers” ship I’ve ever gaf about or probably ever will. There’s something sooooo Shakespearean tragedy coded about this pairing and they are genuinely so fun to analyze to me. I’ll never get bored of them!

2) byler! Definitely byler!!! I love this ship so much. Best friends to lovers is always gonna be my favorite overall trope (despite the lawlight obsession) because I just think it’s gahhhh so sweet!! Mike and Will being together will be the perfect conclusion to stranger things imo and I’m so excited for the final season!!

3) korrasami! I remember when they went canon. I was so shocked I didn’t even believe we actually WON with a gay ship. This pairing was groundbreaking for cartoons and is the reason we have gay rep in kids shows now too

4) zukaang! I am a multi shipper so I ship Aang with Katara and Zuko too. I love Zuko and Aang’s dynamic and I think there is a ton of canonical support for this ship, too. I guess they’re technically an “enemies to lovers” but I don’t rlly think of them that way. Anyway, I think they’re cute!

credit to Noquelle for the fanart!

5) patrochilles, obviously there’s the Iliad but there’s also a novel called The Song of Achilles which I highly recommend if you’ve never read it and want gay rep. It’s a beautifully written novel that is about Achilles and Patroclus and makes an argument for the interpretation of them being lovers (which was common in ancient times)

credit to awanqi on Twitter for the fanart

6) frowise??? Samfro???? Sam and Frodo from The Lord of the Rings! I’ve always loved these two. And if you think the films are gay, the books are gayer. They cuddle, hold hands, kiss and tell each other they love each other in the novels. They are precious and I love them soooo much

7) this one’s gonna sound silly but me and my friends ship quimbry (Quil and Embry) from Twilight lmao. We wanted gay rep and then it just kind of snowballed. I have like 7 fanfics on my ao3 written for them …. 😂😂😂 idgaf that they’re fanon either cuz they’re real to me and I’m obsessed with them. My ao3 is the same as my tumblr btw if you wanted to read my fics! it’s dukeofdelirium

8) (edit I can’t believe I forgot them!) WILMON from Young Royals! Such a sweet pairing and I was so obsessed with them when I watched this show. Such a good show too. Highly recommend and the actors had amazing chemistry

9) REDDIE? I remember this one breaking my heart a bit. I’m not a hugely active shipper of it but it’s cute and really sad

10) Jack and Ennis from Brokeback Mountain:(((( this movie really and truly ruined my life and did something to me when I watched it as a 10 yr old. Somethin about growing up in the south as a closeted gay boy…. Heath and Jake were insane in this film their chemistry was nuts

Hmmm I can’t think of anything else at the moment! I’m very particular about the stuff I ship, it rlly has to scratch a niche itch in my brain for me to be really and truly obsessed with it.

Thanks for bringing something positive to the ask box! :) what are your favorite gay ships, anon?

[autumnsup]

🌊 Slash Ships to Get to Know Me ⚓️

Discovered via open tag (thanks @sliebman10!)

**Rules**: Name at least five (no upper limit) slash (M/M) ships you love. Each from a different fandom.

OK, so this little exercise took longer than I expected, because for me, there are many different categories of ship-love. The list I've compiled below is a reflection of my discovery journey with M/M ships, in order of significance. Some of them I have outgrown but left on the list as a mark of how deep of an impression they left on my psyche. I've only written fic for a few of them, but who knows, maybe others will pop up on my AO3 master list in the future.

Harry Potter - Drarry

This was the OG slash ship for me, although I would come to discover Wolfstar many years later. Both ships are significant for me, but since I can only give one ship per fandom, Drarry it is! The majority of my fic efforts have been in this fandom, in case you couldn’t already tell. 😉

Velvet Goldmine - Arthur Stuart/Curt Wild

This was another OG for me, being one of the first films I watched that centered gay relationships in a meaningful way (in my young adult mind, anyhow). I probably started as a Brian Slade/Curt Wild shipper, but I’ve since come to realize that I identify way more with Arthur/Curt. I also wrote a fic for this ship.

Brokeback Mountain - Jack Twist/Ennis Del Mar

This film quite literally broke my heart when I saw it in the theater as a young adult. So much so that I haven’t been able to watch it since, although I did later read the short story it was based on. I am glad that media representation of non-traumatic gay relationships has improved since then, because man, this one was tragic. Not to mention Heath Ledger dying just a few years later.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Simon/Bram 

On the flip side, this is the most adorable, positive depiction of young gay love that I’ve read so far. Possibly my favorite YA high school age ship to date, at least as far as the books go (I haven’t watched the TV series yet).

Our Flag Means Death - Stede Bonnet/Ed Teach

This TV show endeared itself to me in so many ways, but I think the most enduring love I have is for these two pirate lads. Can’t wait to see what the next season brings for them!

Hannibal – Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

This ship fucked me up in a few different ways, not least because one of them likes to snack on people. However, the sexual tension is undeniable, and I wish they’d done this ship more justice than they ultimately did in the TV series.

Kill Your Darlings - Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg

Speaking of getting fucked up by ships… this one had the added layer of being based on a murderous true story, although I would say the relationship between these two college students was highly embellished, and to simmering effect. I also love that this was the first film project Daniel Radcliffe dived into while finishing up the Potter series, after honing his theater chops in Equus.

Amadeus - Mozart/Salieri

And now speaking of Equus and drama based on historical characters… I don’t think I picked up right away on how intimately linked these two characters were, but I think it was a big reason why I loved this film/play so damned much when I was growing up. The final scene between them is so utterly *chef’s-kiss*, I don’t think I have a choice but to ship them now.

Dark Is Rising series - Will Stanton/Bran Davies

Like Amadeus, this ship snuck up on me, probably because I was quite young when I first read this YA fantasy book series. As an adult, I love the idea of these two besties getting together years later, so much so that I wrote a fic for them.

Call Me By Your Name - Elio/Oliver

I have mixed feelings about this one. The film gutted me, and I tore through the book, but ultimately I feel like it was more the coming-of-age and fleeting-summer-romance angles that got to me than the actual characters, as compellingly portrayed as they were. I’m not holding out for a sequel film, given the controversy surrounding Armie Hammer, but I might eventually read the sequel book.

Heartstopper - Charlie/Nick

Pure, adorable fluff. I don’t have quite as many feels over this one as Simon/Bram, but watching the first season and the development of their romance was sheer delight.

And that's my list for the moment, although I intend to continue expanding it. Open tag for anyone else who wants to hop onboard, but just for the heck of it, I will tag @mangle-my-mind and @silverfactory! ⛵️

[you-cant-fix-it-jack]

Here’s a oneshot I wrote after reading “Brokeback Mountain” for the first time along with watching the movie for the first time. (I wrote this ~4 years ago.) Enjoy!

June 04, 1963

Dear Ennis Del Mar,

First, I know you remember our “little” argument on Brokeback Mountain.

I didn’t mean a word I said. It’s just, this world hasn’t been treating us right, and I’m sick and tired of it. I’m tired of having to keep my mouth shut in public. I’m tired of being married to a woman, and I’m tired of this image I have to put on in front of my mom and dad. You know, when I was a kid, all of this was a lot easier to handle. Feeling wise, I mean. I’d just repress it, and forget them. Or, at least act like I did. Nowadays, this is a lot harder than I can take. God, this is a lot for me. I know it’s a lot for you. You’re never going to admit that you’re just staying married to “protect” me. I know it’s “only to keep me safe.” I know what you’re doing. Ennis, whatever the world has in store for us, let’s just handle it together. If you don’t want to stay in town, we can make a cabin all for ourselves. Sure it won’t be a huge cabin, but it’ll be something we can call our own. You can have your space in the living room, and I can have mine upstairs somewhere. Of course, our differences are going to collide, but I want to be happy. I want us to be happy, but more importantly, I want you to be happy. Happy and loved. I know Alma doesn’t feel the same way about you, as I do, and believe me, she hates me. I can tell by the way she looks at me. But you have to tell her everything. Let her see this letter. Let her know it’s over between the two of you. Whatever happens next is up to you and Alma. I have no say in it. If you want to meet me again, meet me at the mountain, bring a horse, wood, and yourself. Otherwise, don’t bother showing up. Ennis, I sincerely hope you show up, then we can get this dream of ours done and over with. The mountain has everything, but to me, this mountain has everything except you. If you were here, it’d be home. As some people say, “home is where the heart is.” Here’s what they don’t know, my heart is with you. Hope to see you soon, Ennis.

Sincerely,

Jack Twist

June 06 1963

Dear Jack Twist,

I’ll be there soon.

I’ve decided to let Alma read what you wrote. She divorced me the day after. I guess this means our dream is coming true. I’ve already got the wood and the horse, now I need you. If this all works out, we should have this up and done in about seven weeks. Maybe less. Jack, I’m happy. I’m happy for multiple reasons. I have you, the mountain, and our soon-to-be cabin. Jack, I’ve never said this to you before, and I hope it’s not too late, I love you. Always have, always will. This just solidifies everything that I’ve felt and wanted for you. Jack, thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve shown me everything and more. Jack, I’m very thankful to have you in my life. God, I’ve missed you. I hated being married to someone who never really loved me. Then again, after some kids, and you know you’re only doing it to try and save a loveless marriage, you start losing yourself. But you, you’ve shown me real love. You taught me how to have fun, and l am very greatful for that. Jack, you’re probably already up there, waiting, watching the world turn. I just can’t believe this is truly happening. There is so much we’ll be able to do. Especially now that we’re going to be together for a very long time. No one needs to know about any of this except us, and only us. All I can do, is hope you will always feel the same about me, as I do you.

Sincerely,

Ennis Del Mar

[sabazinus]

Episode 3

So I’ve mentioned other places, and talked with friends, about not wanting to watch episode 3 of The Last of Us.  The response is similar each time.  I explain that I’ve seen what happens online and I’m not emotionally able to watch it.  I won’t watch Brokeback Mountain or IT: Chapter 2 for the same reasons.  

Spoilers: I don’t need to watch movies or television where gay characters die/are beaten up.  No matter how awesome they may be or how they die on their own terms or how great the whole story is.  Just don’t need it in my life emotionally.  I saw enough death and violence in the gay community growing up and just don’t care to see it in the media I view.  

For some reason, people don’t seem to understand my reasoning and continue to say, “But it’s great!  You should see it!’  Nope.  Not going to happen, please stop telling me how amazing it is, I’ve no intentions of watching.  Not sure why when I first say, “Yeah, I can’t handle that emotionally” the response is to continue telling me how great something is.

[alyosiuscreightonward]

This is from the Drew Barrymore show with Jack Antinoff.

DB: I knew that I felt comfortable with you. I told you, the thing you always made me feel was at ease. I’m going to carry this conversation a lot. Also, in tandem with my need to tamper down my negative self-talk and…

JA: You have negative self-talk?

DB: It’s been bad my whole life.

JA: What’s your shadow? Does it have an actual form? Like, is it too big or is it too small?

As I was watching the Drew Barrymore show today and she was talking to the lead singer of The Bleachers. It was a deep dive.

I can’t get into it, but dayum yo.

This past Friday, I went to a memorial for a friend/work colleague at the Holy Trinity Parish Church in Lowell. Yes, I got my church on. My empath streak was on full tilt boogie. I felt it. I’m not going to debate you. You will say it was and I would tell you it wasn’t because I know what I felt, period. Full stop.

As I looking inward and I was actually praying for her soul and not to be in pain but I wanted her to rock on. For a moment, a nanosecond, I felt your hands on my shoulders. I heard you whisper. I knew it was you and I won’t debate you. I believe outside our selves that we can manifest beyond ourselves and now matter what we do to prove the cynics wrong.

With your earbud in and you jamming to whatever, I came across your mind. My face popped up. You saw me. We made eye contact and you went back to whatever you were doing. Yet I still knew it was you. That moment was so real. It was as if you were actually standing there. I could feel your breath on the back of my neck. You were there. It wasn’t her or anyone else, period.

People will chime in and say shit, but I know what I know and you can say that it was and mysterious ways and just because I was there in that moment and in Church, it was. Again, I won’t debate you.

Yet when I heard someone say, I know how much you “love…” and my sarcasm came out of my mouth when I said, “…more like my nemesis.” Because we both can’t, cannot and will not accept that nor will we ever cross that line. As I said earlier, that’s on you.

I know our connection is there but we have boundaries to keep. I don’t know exactly how you actually feel though I know what I know. No one can change how I absorb the energy and I do know how to step back from it all and just wait.

Though I’m angry with myself for being like this and having these feelings. I scream in the car and I scream into my pillow because I can’t process the fact that I have these feelings and emotions. I kept them hidden, I put them and completely hid them where the darkest shadows cower. They were never to be seen again by anyone. I muttered to myself that I loathe, detest and even hate you. But when I heard you on the phone, I could hear a change in your voice. It was wonderful to hear that lilt in your voice that night.

I also know that one day, we will most likely go our separate ways and never have another chance. I accept, acknowledge and affirm that will happen. We had it. We had our time together.

I will never have another like you. I will always have those moments where I debase myself and have those negative feelings about myself for having these feelings about you. Fuck!!! Why did this happen to me? I’m fucked.

The other day I was driving to work and on my jukebox playlist and I heard Steve Grand’s “All American Boy.” I then remembered that I had watched the video once before and I never watched it again. It’s also just like “Brokeback Mountain.” I can’t watch it anymore. The cologne you wear is named after a color. I texted you about something trivial yet you responded and I could hear you and I could feel you. I was on the verge of tears, but I sucked it up and then did my job. I spoke to several people and as soon as they left, I went from being pleasant to sullen in the blink of an eye.

Fuck!!! I don’t want these feelings, but they are here and I just can’t stop them. I still can’t understand why. I know that you have “care” and “we” can’t talk about it. I want you to hold me in your arms. I know that you can’t because that’s “Gay.” I don’t know where my feelings will stop. Like Pat Sajak and Vanna White, I don’t where the wheel will stop. I can’t buy a clue. But when you do walk away from me, I want to know, can I get fries with that shake? Can I Super Size for sixty nine cents?

Please don’t be mad on me. I have a feeling that you are exasperated with me. I fight with my demons and just for you I will not allow them to win. The nanosecond of attention you give me is going to get me through the day.

Enough. I CANNOT DODGE THE RAINDROPS OF EMOTIONS!!!

[saturdaymournings]

Hell yeah a thingy I love these things

3 ships: ngl the ships living in my brain rent free rn r gonna give y’all psychic damage but like whatever. Destiel, icemav, Chad and Ryan from high school musical.

First ship: it was some H*rry P*tter shit so we’re just gonna ignore that and pretend it was boyf riends yeah cool okay

Last song: Sweet Cis Teen by Dazey and the Scouts

Last movie: bruh this question always gets to me cause I don’t really watch movies so I can’t remember. I’ve got Brokeback Mountain back on the brain tho so that’s like the most recent movie shit in my brain.

Currently reading: This is Vegan Propaganda (and Other Lies the Meat Industry Tells You) by Ed Winters. The book slays in terms of like the quality and everything but it’s still got me like 😨 horrifying new information just entered my brain and now I’m going to start hating the world again

Currently watching: Supernatural (yeah I’m a degenerate fully aware). I honestly kinda gave up on breaking bad like I love it but I’m going to have to get back to it later because my whole experience with it has been so skewed that it’s not hitting how it’s supposed to and I want it to be an experience.

Currently consuming: when I first saw I’d been @‘d in this I was consuming a sugar free Karma Cola (Karma Drinks’ shit fucking slaps y’all gotta get on this I collect their bottles bc they’re so damn pretty)

Currently craving: a genuine human connection I cannot keep going like this everyone wants to be my friend but nobody wants to do it in a fucking gay way how do I live like this.

Tagging: @unfortunatelyrats @gnomepilled-gnomepilled-gnome @evensquirrellier @infamousvamp @void-to-scream-into @f1zzlest1ckzz <3333333

Thanks for tagging me @worshipjeffery !!

1. 3 ships: ok uhhh spirk - star trek (I still think the ship name should be spirk), kiribaku - mha (I know, mha fan, so cringe, whatever), and I believe that as @ghostlylurker 's esteemed beta reader I am required to say agrestone - miraculous

2. First ship: I'm not completely sure but it was probably fucking phinabella.

3. Last song: dragonfly - universal hall pass

4. Last movie: cocaine bear <3 (no movie will ever beat the ambulance scene)

5. Currently reading: like 75 different fanfics idk leave me alone

6. Currently watching: mostly rewatching star trek lower decks w my dad

7. Currently consuming: in n out grilled cheese

8. Currently craving: ur mom

@thecoolerantistraight joe you're like the only other person I interact with on this app you have to shoulder the burden of being my only tag thanks love ya

[sueske]

I really wish 699 was the ending…..tbh I can’t help but to wonder if the editors reaaally just pressured Kishimoto to do 700+ Boruto for more money to SJ, or that he wanted to write the sad reality of queer people who are afraid and just decided to live up to the standards of the homophobic society *cough Brokeback Mountain reference. And I hate the idea of SNS cheating on their wives, so I hope the case is just that they decided to hold back their feelings even tho they still are in love with eachother. Been watching the 20th anniversary video and the scene where Naruto can’t tell Minato that he found a girl he loves in their farewell, and it just makes me really sad, Sns and the series will always be special to me but these gays deserved better😭 I’m listening to Yours for an hour to cope.

wonder if the editors reaaally just pressured Kishimoto to do 700+ Boruto for more money to SJ,

Kishimoto was definitely pressured to keep the series going. It keeps the previous people that had worked on Naruto (manga/anime/merch/etc) in employment and works as a vessel for cashflow into SJ, so he probably felt pressure and responsibility to keep the franchise going.

or that he wanted to write the sad reality of queer people

He said he envisioned the end of Naruto as sns' reconciliation, so in that respect there wouldn't be a need to confirm endgame pairings, so I don't think that was his intention with Boruto. But because Boruto had to happen, he still decided to write sns not as happily married, but the exact opposite, littered with references to one of the most popular gay films of all time.

I hate the idea of SNS cheating on their wives, so I hope the case is just that they decided to hold back their feelings even tho they still are in love with eachother.

Well... it depends on what you consider cheating. Physically? Emotionally? Both? sasuke is never home. naruto avoids going back home and sleeps on the couch. sns meet up often, keep in contact, even meet up at restaurants. it's difficult to say if they every voiced out their true feelings, if they did settle things between them so to speak. honestly it’s not clear to me if they voiced their romantic feelings out loud, or if it’s just an understanding at this point, and they just don’t talk about it. 

I've been meaning to talk about this for a while but this ask is a (semi) good segue into it but I do think that there are certain things that sns don’t speak about to each other, that being their families. sometimes it’s difficult for me to understand/rationalise sns’ thoughts and actions in boruto because they’re just not the same characters I know, but I do think they avoid the topic of their families when they’re with each other. 

For example, in gaiden, Naruto asks chou chou why she doesn’t just ask sarada about her dad.

This was really strange to me for a few reasons. Naruto knows Sasuke is out of the village. Naruto himself grew up without parents. Yes sarada has cbg, but to think naruto never wondered how a lack of a parent would affect sarada made me pause for a second, considering who sarada is. This implies that Naruto never thought about how his best friend’s child might be affected by sasuke’s absence. it also implies that sasuke never voiced out a concern about being absent from his daughter’s life, otherwise naruto wouldn’t have said, ‘why not ask sarada’ and the afterthought, ‘that’s right he’s been traveling this whole time’ after that. He would’ve just answered chou chou’s question. This interaction serves to show that naruto doesn’t know the affect this has on sarada (which is strange), and that sasuke probably never even voiced the concern out (again, strange considering his childhood and how important familial bonds are to him). Sasuke also didn’t know what sarada looked like, which means he never even asked for a picture from cbg (again referencing the lack of the uchiha family picture), or even from Naruto for that matter since they frequently keep in contact/meet up. does sasuke not care enough to know his child’s face? naruto certainly didn’t bring it up to him either that’s for sure. cbg didn’t make any effort either to relay that info to sasuke through naruto either. do you see where I'm going with this? just a couple panels of interaction and already you can speculate so much because it just doesn’t make sense knowing what we know about the characters from naruto.

Example 2 - karin potentially being Sarada’s biological mom.

Naruto didn’t say ‘there’s no way that’s true! do the test again, sasuke would never do that!’ Naruto is basically confirming that as sasuke’s closest friend, he also thinks it’s possible that sasuke did ‘cheat’ on cbg. If sasuke talked to naruto about his relationship with cbg, about their travels and how sarada came to be, why would naruto actually be surprised and think that it was in fact possible that karin was actually Sarada’s mother just because of a test? Again, do you see where I'm going with this? so much can be read between the lines from just a few interactions.

Then he tells sasuke they need to discuss something later. Have they never discussed their relationships before? Have they never had those discussions about their relationships whereby all doubt would be eleminated?

(Also Orochimaru smiling while saying that is so funny. but also because of the implications of those exact words coming from Orochimaru.)

And then we have Boruto the series itself. Again, we’re seeing this for the first time but basically Naruto goes on to say how different Boruto is from him. After 12 years. The ‘issues’ naruto had with boruto started a while ago, but it seems he’s vocalising it for the first time based on how they’re speaking. And it only came up because sasuke found naruto’s jacket which prompted the discussion in the first place. 

(Also side note: we have yet to see a significant ss/nh moment that is not directly related to their kids, and even then they’re yikes. ‘We’re connected cuz you exist sarada.’ In the end, Sasuke lectures boruto about naruto, not hinata.)

ANYWAYS, with all that being said - why did Kishimoto write it like this? Is it because when sns are together they don't want to talk about their families? And why is that? 

[deanismysavior]

Can’t everything that suggests Mike loves Will romantically also just mean he is super close to his best friend in seasons 1 and 2? I’m struggling to see how his actions are definitively romantic. I’m not looking to discount the potential of it being romantic, because I think Byler is a cool idea. I just feel like everything has a strong degree of plausible deniability and his actions in season 3 and 4 could just be him becoming a jerk and/or being in his head about different things, not necessarily being gay. It’s only gay if you read it that way, but I feel like the duffers are reading a different book. Some people really are unusually close to their best friend, especially in 80s media like stand by me

Of course there's always room for deniability when a character has yet to be confirmed queer, I mean Noah had to literally release a statement to the press that Will was gay and in love with Mike for some people to catch on and believe it. While I think Mike's queerness, at least as we see it, is less overt to the audience, there are still key contextual clues that you can pick up on to point you towards this conclusion. Of course close friendships do exist, and I don't think that every close friendship, even if it includes a certain amount of physicality on screen, denotes romantic involvement or attraction, but it's rather the way that this story is highlighted in the context of the rest of the show that implies these scenes romantically. I would agree with you in that season 1 and season 2 certainly display a narrative that could have easily just fallen under close friendship, and I think had that been all we'd been shown, I wouldn't have read anything more into it, but when we then begin to see this relationship heavily parallel and contrast other established romantic relationships in the show, it makes you consider the development of Will and Mike's relationship differently, where it starts crossing into a territory that looks like something more than friendship. Some of the best examples of this are how the fight in the rain in season 3 is framed in this dramatic and romantic way, directly paralleling the imagery from the 2016 TV series Eyewitness, which is about a closeted gay kid (who has a girlfriend) developing a romantic relationship with another guy. This scene also narratively parallels the dramatic fight scene from Brokeback Mountain, but even if the audience were not to be aware of these allusions while watching the scene, it stands in stark contrast to Mike and El's breakup that occurs earlier in the same episode. While El's breaking up with Mike is played off as funny and light-hearted, Mike's fight with Will looks like something more out of the Notebook, and the dramatic framing of this scene makes you really set it apart from Mike's other friendships. We also see more internal parallels within the show that code Mike and Will's scenes together as romantic through their association with other relationships, such as the parallel between the season 4 love confession and the season 2 memory recall that break's Will's connection to the Mind Flayer. We've also seen a lot of music and color theory being used to tie together romantic relationships throughout the show, most notably in season 4, we see the use of [tender, emotional music] being played during scenes only between already established couples, and then Mike and Will. These are just a few of the examples from off the top of my head, but I guess the point here is that we can establish how we, the audience, are meant to interpret these scenes based on the rules the show sets up for itself. If there is consistently positioning, music, imagery, or tone that suggests that is used when establishing romantic couples, if the same structure is used here, I think it tells us a lot about how these scenes are supposed to be read. You could argue that they might use these anyway to show Will's feelings, but we generally don't see this sort of cohesion within the pairings where one side is unrequited. I'll link an additional few analyses down below that I think illustrate this really well, but I hope this helps to answer how subtext is important in these cases.

[absolutebl]

Hi, this is more of a rant than a question, but I don’t have any friends who watch BL irl and you are genuinely one of my favorite people who discuss BL :)… I keep still seeing heartstopper content after so much time passing on various social media platforms. It was good and the plot was well done for what the story is. There still is not a lot of Western media, let alone popular/mainstream Western media, that gives lgbt people a center stage, main couple happy ending and decent representation, and the target audience (teens/young adults) would certainly crave this type of content, especially with how the state of the world is right now and certain political representatives making things look more than a little grim. Lgbt youth crave representation that isn’t just pride tumblrs from Starbucks and tragic story outcomes like Brokeback Mountain (good plot but a terrible story for someone to watch who is questioning whether or not to come out). Things like Heartstopper, Young Royals, and Love Simon seem like amazing groundbreaking content to this type of audience. Now I definitely do not these shows BL. Love Simon is a straight romance played by two men (in my opinion) and Heartstopper was definitely more of a coming of age and acceptance story than a typical BL, not that those elements are not often in BL, but BL has a lot more… elements to it to formulate that overall genre. I’m sorry I can’t explain it. However, I keep looking at this popularity and I can’t help but wonder why countries who produce BL aren’t looking at this target audience and thinking “We should start advertising here”. KDramas especially are very popular in Western culture, but it doesn’t seem like many people who watch them outside of those who are conscious of the BL genre focus on the queer dramas that these countries are producing. Many Eastern countries definitely have a different way to tell stories, but I genuinely believe the core elements of the stories are something LGBT people would enjoy seeing. I am aware that part of it has to do with funding, but Korea has built itself up enough in the entertainment portion of their economy that I believe they could do simple social media campaigns to advertise to larger audiences. The first example that comes to mind is Semantic Error. I really believe a wide variety of Western audiences would love this show. I think most shows from Thailand, Japan, and Taiwan may be too niche to appeal to a broad lgbt audience but there are some shows that would be super popular within the community if people knew they existed. Even Gamerboys, which was popular in its own right, was not really spread enough to reach enough lgbt audiences worldwide, in my opinion. If these production companies started looking at advertising more overseas, I genuinely believe there could be much positive feedback, at least Korean shows at this point (and this positive feedback could mean more funding and more content). I also know this has to do in part with accessibility because many shows are hard to find if you don’t know where to look... I go back and forth on this because I do fear Westernization destroying the fundamentals of what makes BL (and GL) so unique, but at the same time, I just know that if I had discovered shows like what I watch now when I was younger, I may have had the bravery to come out of the closet sooner, at least to myself, so I can’t help but beat my head against a wall trying to think of a way countries (especially Korea) could get their content mainstream to this audience. Again, I know there is a lot of elements to this but, idk. I am sure people much smarter than me have analyzed this, but as someone who has watched enough content to fill a decent blog if I ever decide to do such a thing, these are my thoughts… I apologize, I just had to say this and I hope it makes sense! I’m also so sorry for how long this is. And I am sorry if you have ever talked about this before and I just didn’t see the post! I just have a lot of respect for you and love seeing your thoughts on BL :)

Well that was a wild steam of consciousness ride but I think you want this post:

Why a big industry in many Asian countries for gay romance shows? - AKA history of BL, why romance dramas are popular in Asia but not the west (form of… PHD THESIS) plus catering to the female gaze and so much more!

If you did want anything.

If you just want to vent, carry on.

I support your frustrations!

[bluewinnerangel]

From The Dining Table x Brokeback Mountain

!! Huge Brokeback Mountain Spoilers ahead !!

Since I said some stuff a bit about this yesterday and got some questions to explain a bit more I thought I'd dedicate a post to it.

SoooOOooo this is about From The Dining Table maybe being not so much autobiographical, not in the literal sense at least although mans gotta resonate with it otherwise why make a whole song about it right, but could be from the perspective of Jack in the movie / short story Brokeback Mountain and I think he might have done the same with TBSL and The Notebook as well.

FTDT (as well as Sweet Creature) sounds like it's coming straightno gay out of the Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack, explained here. Especially the tracks "The Wings" and "Brokeback Mountain 2" (that melody bit around "even my phone misses your call by the way" is just.. a copy). And yep that's the pretty big hint there, that's why I'm connecting these dots and not brushing off the coincidoinkies because you know these lyrics are not THAT specific, but combine it with the similarities in terms of sound too and welp hmmmmm

FTDT lyric breakdown x Brokeback Mountain under the cut:

In the movie, go watch it if you haven't, go read the short story if you haven't, Jack and Ennis fall in love on Brokeback Mountain and uh continue to not know how to quit each other. They both understand it's not safe to attempt to live a life together, Ennis doesn't even consider it but Jack still wants it, tries to talk about it, but it never happens. Most of their life they're silent about their feelings, they just love each other deeply yet continue to live their lives with a wife and kids, but still they can't stay away from each other and for 20 years they continue to have these "fishing trips" together and find ways to see each other. Ennis stays very conflicted about his feelings and doesn't so much own up to them as Jack does. He's a man of very few words (under the pretence of comfortable silence) and it drives Jack insane. They drink a lot, they feel alone and uncool, don't seem to call, but miss each other like crazy...

Some bits from the short story:

“How much is once in a while?” said Jack. “Once in a while ever four fuckin years?”

“No,” said Ennis, forbearing to ask whose fault that was. “I goddam hate it that you’re goin a drive away in the mornin and I’m goin back to work. But if you can’t fix it you got a stand it,” he said. “Shit. I been lookin at people on the street. This happen a other people? What the hell do they do?”

Or Jacks dialogue when he finally breaks about.. everything:

"I'll tell you what. We could have had a good life together. Fucking real good life. Had us a place of our own! But you didn't want it, Ennis. So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy. Fucking all. So I hope you know that, if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times... that we have been together in nearly 20 years... and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on... and then you ask me about Mexico and you tell me you'll kill me... for needin' somethin' I don't hardly never get! You have no idea how bad it gets! And I'm not you! I can't make it... on a couple of high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me, Ennis. You son of a whoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you!"

And Ennis' reply:

Then why don't you? Why don't you just let me be, huh? It's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this. I'm nothin'. I'm nowhere.

So then yeah uh FTDT:

Woke up alone in this hotel room,

Played with myself, where were you? Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon,

I've never felt less cool

Loneliness, where are you, can't make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks a few times a year, played with myself, but need you, I'm struggling, I'm drinkin, I'm nothing, I'm nowhere. ~it's all of the above~

Some more bits from the short story:

“We herded sheep on Brokeback one summer,” said Ennis. He could hardly speak.

“Well, he said it was his place. I thought he meant to get drunk. Drink whiskey up there. He drank a lot.”

We haven't spoke since you went away,

Comfortable silence is so overrated,

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

This fits Jacks feelings towards Ennis. Ennis doesn't talk. Jack seems to be ok with this silence most of the time, but really does love it a whole lot more when Ennis does talk. This after he tells Jack something personal, Jack lights up and Ennis is like bropal what:

Jack: Man, that's more words than you've spoke in the past two weeks. Ennis: Hell, that's the most I've spoke in a year.

And also as mentioned earlier, Jack is the first one to break. Ennis seems to suffer too, but he never breaks, not in front of Jack before Jack does at least.

I saw your friend that you know from work

He said you feel just fine

"He said you feel just fine" can be a way of saying to just drop it, and in the movie Jack visits their employer that had sent them off to Brokeback Mountain the next year, and asks him about Ennis. To which he doesn't get a satisfying answer whatsoever either (thank @swimmingleo ):

Boss: Well, look what the wind blew in. Jack: I was wonderin' if you was needin' any help this summer. Boss: You're wastin' your time here. Jack: What, you ain't got nothin'? Nothin' up on Brokeback? Boss: I ain't got no work for you. Jack: Ennis Del Mar ain't been around, has he? Boss: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there. Twist... you guys wasn't gettin' paid to leave the dogs baby-sit the sheep... while you stemmed the rose. Now get the hell out of my trailer.

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

In the end the only thing Ennis has of Jack is his old shirt. And discovers this whole time, Jack had his.

Copying a big chunk of the short story again really just go read the whole story instead:

At the north end of the closet a tiny jog in the wall made a slight hiding place and here, stiff with long suspension from a nail, hung a shirt. He lifted it off the nail. Jack’s old shirt from Brokeback days. The dried blood on the sleeve was his own blood, a gushing nosebleed on the last afternoon on the mountain when Jack, in their contortionistic grappling and wrestling, had slammed Ennis’s nose hard with his knee. He had stanched the blood, which was everywhere, all over both of them, with his shirtsleeve, but the stanching hadn’t held, because Ennis had suddenly swung from the deck and laid the ministering angel out in the wild columbine, wings folded. The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack’s sleeves. It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he’d thought, long ago in some damn laundry, his dirty shirt, the pocket ripped, buttons missing, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack’s own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one. He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack, but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands.

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Everyone can tell. Nothing is said. But everyone just knows these two had ~a special bond~. Especially Jack's parents when Ennis visits their home in the end and finds that shirt.

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too But you, you never do

Maybe one day [...]... maybe one day... I have hope that maybe one day... but in the end. I realise it's not gonna happen -> Jack keeps hoping that maybe one day they'll live their lives together, but Ennis never lets them go there, doesn't see it as an option, he just stays silent. But in the end Jack knows where they stand, or he's always known I guess, he lets it be... The last thing we read from Jack's perspective in the short story:

Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see or feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be.

Woke up the girl who looked just like you I almost said your name

They're both with a family, with wives / girlfriends. I don't think there's a girl who looks just like the other, or any mention of almost saying each others names or anything, might have missed it tho I mean the rest checks out aksdjaslk. The closest maybe parallel-ish I could think of is a call between Ennis and Jacks wife:

“Jack used to mention you,” she said. “You’re the fishing buddy or the hunting buddy, I know that. Would have let you know,” she said, “but I wasn’t sure about your name and address. Jack kept most a his friends’ addresses in his head.

So.... yeah....

OK EDIT BECAUSE I MADE @larrysballetslippers VERY ANGERY because this didn't have a good ending so:

RAMBLE TIME

All that

does not mean the story of Brokeback Mountain and all its details mirror Harry's real life. IF any of this was on purpose even. He clearly loves and has referenced other movies too, like The Notebook and Papillon and those aren't copies of his life either. It just doesn't mean he's Jack in every way and Louis is exactly Ennis and the part where Ennis is showing resistance to their love must mean Louis is doing the same or whatever.

This post was just to show the parallels and you can draw whatever conclusion you want from that, but please just be aware Harry's not in control of every detail in this movie LOL and IF this song really just is a Brokeback Mountain fanpiece doesn't mean he's into exactly how this movie plays out because he's living the exact real life version in every single way. (I fear we're gonna run into these same thoughts once My Policeman is out, thaaat's gonna be fun)

If anything, this whole analysis came to be because the details in this song, in my view, do not fit Harry and Louis' descriptions of their love and dynamics and what they've been through in most of their other songs.

This analysis was larry-free and now look what you made me do @larrysballetslippers .... well. Although it did have a larry cowboy gif in the beginning asldkjaskldja AHHH WELLL

For more like this

This post has a drunk twin: a masterpost with all them Harry x Brokeback Mountain cOiNcIdEnCeS

my other song analyses

Brokeback Mountain short story