#I just want to ask to ppl that doesn't care about the reason I went on hiatus to feel free to ignore this post

[modelsof-color]

I feel that I owe it to the people that sent sweet messages to me , showing their support and love and these people are the only ones I want to read it and more than that , to know that your kindness impacted me 💖

may the universe rewards you with inner peace, health and happiness

My dear Mother passed away on June 30th

I'm learning how to living again without the reason of my happiness

I will always miss her . I will always miss the woman I used to be when she was here in this planet.

I miss not having her here to feel proud of me, I hate that I can't see her being proud the person I'm right now after losing her

I miss her honest words telling me to do better , to be mature about my frustrations, I miss her voice telling me what I did wrong even if it used hurt my ego

I miss the woman who raised me despiste her own insecurities, flaws and fears , the woman who gave me the affection, not too much not too little, just enough .

enough to make me understand , now , that I am a butterfly, with my own colors , my freedom and with endless delicacy as final form

I miss the woman who told me I don’t need anyone to tell me how important I am, that if I know and believe it from the bottom of my heart, I will be able to remind myself about it everytime I go through a hard time

the woman who told me to NEVER blame anyone for not love me back because my self love is the only love I should be afraid of losing

I miss the woman who taught be it's okay to feel like the most vulnerable girl in the world for a little bit as a long as I stand up and keep fighting .

I will always love the woman with the most humanity ideas, artistic mind, and purest heart.

The personification of the quote " the meaning of life is to serve humanity "

My eternal gratitude goes to every single one of you , y'all through spontaneous and lovely messages show me that some people still care , I am back mostly because I need to feel this positive energy and empathy in my life again 💜

[afsosville]

Time to over-analyze things with limited canonical information just because. Here are some of the reasons why Qing Jing may have been a hindrance to Shen Jiu's emotional development and solidified his corruption arc>>

Qing Jing was like the perfect peak to let all his mental wounds fester if you think about it.

Shen Jiu acting like nobility or an educated young master (as most disciples of Qing Jing are) is purely a coping mechanism. It literally screams masking! While the exact circumstances of how he got chosen for Qing Jing is unknown, we can assume he didn't have a choice since most disciples typically just follow their new master to wherever they take them from the selection grounds (with the exception of Bai Zhan lol). He was most likely hoisted onto the Qing Jing peak lord, as no master would've wanted him because of his fucked up meridians and late age. They acquiesced to take him anyway coz of Yue Qingyuan's/the sect leader's insistance. And because it's Shen Jiu, he would naturally do whatever it took to get to the top, and if he started acting like the very sort of people he hates, then so be it.

You can imagine how disastrous imitating his abusers is going to be (he's imitating noblemen in general, but he's definitely taking the Qiu's as a primary example). Shen Jiu clearly is trying to remove and forget everything about his past, and even accepts the rumours of him being a spoiled young master to cast away suspicion. He is coping hard. Not to mention, he was named QingQIU when he became Qing Jing's succeeding disciple. Listen I don't care if it was a bad coincidence or not but that doesn't endear me to Shen Jiu's shizun in the slightest (I'm only talking abt SJ's shizun in canon, not fics, the fics are great. But it's more than likely that SJ's shizun was negligent or abusive as well. Here's why I think that). Between all of this, there's no way he's processing any of that trauma when he's constantly forced to remember all of it. No wonder he slipped into the abuser role easily since he's literally out here actually being made to copy their behavior.

Qing Jing and even the rest of Cang Qiong were always hostile to Shen Jiu, even in his discipleship. These ppl went out of their way to run interventions on Shen Jiu when he's minding his own business. Yes I'm talking abt the whole brothel thing. There were doubtlessly so many disciples who went for the very reasons Shen Jiu was assumed of going for, so why is he the only one getting shit for it? Not only was going to brothels not even a crime worthy of conviction, it was even normalized to an extent. And it would've been so easy to figure out if he really was going for anything "lecherous" by just asking the women there. The fact that, that whole ordeal was never cleared up just shows they didn't actually care about the women or what he was supposedly doing to them. They only cared because it was Shen Jiu who was involved.

Shen Jiu being on any other peak would change things for sure even if it's marginally. Its probably just wistful thinking, but I know at least half of those peaks, even the fanon ones, would be better than Qing Jing at any rate. Again, Shen Jiu would claw his way up and try to succeed any way he can, so if he were put on another peak that would be a somewhat healthy environment for him, he would do well, regardless of the peak. Him doing well on Qing Jing doesn't mean anything other than showing off his awesome(horrible and problematic) coping skills. So really, I can't help but think Qing Jing wasn't a good fit for him, especially with Shen Jiu's specific brand of trauma.

I did a pole once asking if Shen Jiu would've done better on another peak, or if they were just curious to see him anywhere else, and I'm not surprised that the most voted for peak was Yin Hui, the fanon peak for espionage and assassins. Now I'm going to go another tangent why Yin Hui would be good for him later.

[fordtato]

I just finished watching your Ford video, I loved it ! I usually don't take so long to watch videos like that but uni has been kicking my ass and I wanted to make sure I could really listen to what you were saying instead of just putting it on in the background. I went in a little apprehensive because of the "NPD?" in the thumbnail, and was mentally preparing myself for some weapons-grade oof-dom, but I think you handled it well. (1/4)

Personally, as someone who has BPD and is close to many ppw/NPD, I think Ford is good NPD representation. His reliance on outside validation, ego compensating for massive insecurity, massively idolizing those he looks up to and that idolization vanishing in an *instant* when they don't match his beliefs about them (this can be an NPD thing!), fantasies of fame and fortune, identity disturbance (defining himself as one thing and one thing only), (2/?)

all that coupled with his history of a rocky relationship with self-definition and conditional praise from authority figures screams NPD to me. This isn't all in the DSM, but it's def part of living with NPD. And I think it's a good thing! Like you mentioned, the fact he has these traits and still gets a happy ending is wonderful. To me, such an NPD-coded character still being shown to love his family, to do what's right, to make amends, shows that these disorders don't make us monsters. (3/?)

The fact that his NPD traits have a clear origin shows how so often cluster B personality disorders are born of fear, trauma, and regrets (not always, but a lot of the time). People think cluster Bs are just born "evil," so the fact we can essentially see the evolution of Ford's traumagenic NPD is something I rather like. (4/?)

You don't have to agree with the headcanon. I just wanted to share something from the perspective of someone with a cluster B disorder who also knows many ppw/NPD, since in the video you mentioned a lack of those voices. It's not just egotypicals making these headcanons, we like them too ! (5/5, sorry abt all the asks!)

----------------

Thanks for weighing in! No problem about all the asks, it's an interesting read (and sorry about the late response!)

I will say that (also speaking as someone with BPD), I still don't quite think the headcanon is one of mine, but I am glad that other ppl with cluster B disorders resonate with it (though, of course, I do know that there are a couple of ppl with NPD that I know who dislike the way the headcanon is discussed or who disagree with it - yada yada no community is a monolith and all that).

That part of my video was very difficult to write, but I am glad that I did alright with the subject matter.

To reiterate for people who might not have seen the video, my issue with the NPD headcanon is not so much the headcanon itself and whether or not it applies to Ford, but the ways that some people discuss how and if it applies. There are so many posts and comments by people (who may or may not have cluster B disorders - no way to know), saying things like "Ford doesn't care about others and acts selfishly and only uses others as tools - I headcanon him as having NPD and lacking empathy for this reason" and it veers into ableism really quickly. In the video, I compare it to 2015-era headcanons that Ford would be abusive to Dipper and Mabel because he is "paranoid" and thinks they're working with Bill, a headcanon that also veers into considering those with mental illness as being inherently dangerous. I think headcanoning Ford as having any mental illness or condition is fine, but people need to be careful in the ways they talk about it, because (in the context of the Stan Wars we saw in 2015-16), it can quickly veer into the territory of leveraging the symptoms of mental illness to win fandom wars or to characterize our blorbos, and we often don't consider where that leaves REAL people with these conditions.

I explain this all better in the video then I am here, in an off-the-cuff response to an ask, but hopefully that summarizes my feelings clearly.

[braxlrose]

I miss ur writings sm :(

I am so sorry that I've been gone for so long, I haven't posted any fan fiction in so many months and honestly I lost motivation 😭 so many ppl who were in this fandom and I created a community with, were slowly getting over this "phase" and it definitely affected me. But I'm going to try and get back into writing. I hope this will do good for now! Ive had a lot of ppl recently ask for 2005 bill hcs, and I've done that before so if this is repetitive for something else I've written, sorry!

content warnings: none

a/n: I'll be updating my tag list since it hasn't been updated since like August of last year and I don't want to be tagging people who don't care or want to see these posts anymore. So if you wanna be tagged, let me know!

2005!bill kaulitz x f!reader

sfw:

- I'm an alternative person so whenever I write for bill, I always imagine him with an alternative girl 😞 even though from what I've seen he's never really been w/ an alternative one, BUT LETS PRETEND OKAY 🙏🙏

• he absolutely loves doing hair together, I think he enjoys helping you do your hair in the morning and your make up. And he's even more greatful if you do his makeup. Then he can just relax while you help him.

• pookie has crunchy ass hair at the end of the day when he has to wash it out, don't make fun of him 😞

• getting piercings together is something he LOVES doing with you. Mainly early piercings because he only has a tongue and eyebrow piercing on his face.

• if you made music too, he would always go to your concerts and basically scream the entire time. Hopefully, you'd do the same for him.

• if you have longer nails, head scratches are always a must and he will lay in your lap for literal hours while you pamper him.

- I personally think he would love to learn words in your language if you keep something different than German. And despite what anybody thinks, he finds it hilarious to learn the dirty words.

• if you cook him something from your culture, he will literally die. He basically thinks everything about you is so cool, and learning about a culture different from his is so exciting

• but if you two really want to date, you'll have to both try to learn English or each other language because there is going to be a hard language barrier between you two.

- I think one of the reasons he would've fallen in love with you is because you were upfront with him. He's not the type of guy to just go up and kiss someone so if you confess first, that would make things so much easier.

- obviously, you'd have to get along with Tom, Georg and Gustav. So if you don't, there's no way he'll go out with you, especially if you can't get along or hate Tom.

-Dates together consist of stuff you guys bought somewhere, or if you guys went to a fastfood restaurant.

• He doesn't have a lot of money yet so dates wouldn't exactly be high class, hopefully you don't mind 😉

-Since this is around the time Tokio Hotel is getting increasingly famous, there are fangirls around trying to flirt and ask out bill all the time and he has to shoo them off. He reminds you every night about how much he loves you and that those fan girls shouldn't bother you.

-he likes to spoon you a lot, and you two switch back n forth between him being the big spoon and the small spoon.

• I think he also really likes it when you lay on top of him, with your face in his neck and your legs wrapped around him. (This also works sitting upwards).

• cuddling with him is so nice too because he actually smells really good 😱

- I think he still gets very insecure sometimes because of the haters and people who harass the band because they don't like them and you reassure him a lot.

a/n pt 2: sorry this wasn't too long! I'm trying to get back into the groove of writing so if this is terrible I'm sorry 😞

taglist: none right now

[h0ney-mochi]

Oh, dear Valentine of mine.

Scaramouche x reader ;; readers pronouns not mentioned

SMUT/NSFW CONTENT (sort of soft? scaramouche, top!scaramouche, bottom!reader, too long intro, it's just seggs bro)

Summary: Scara doesn't understand Valentines, but his mind is occupied with you. Coming home earlier than usual, he makes a little something for you, not knowing said dish won't be even touched for the night.

A/n: joining my favorite writer's and mutual's (@sumeruin ) collab event <3 Glad to be participating heheh, hope this is good enough to be in the event ٩(◕‿◕)۶ Go check out other ppls entries btw !!!! Happy late Valentines Day everyone <3

Minor writer, dni if uncomfortable!

Scaramouche didn't care for Valentines Day. Why would couples need a day about themselves, for themselves? To show off? Get a pass to makeout wherever they wanted to for a day? That's stupid reasoning. It's annoying.

He still thinks the same after being around you. Just a little, little less.

Yet when he wakes up and heads to the kitchen, he didn't expect you to be wrapping up a medium-sized gift. You didn't notice him, making sure all looked good, taping a small note on top. You jumped in surprise when you raised your head and saw him standing there.

"Oh-! Good morning!" You speak, smile on your lips as you walk to him. He raises his eyebrows at you and you give him a kiss. You whisper a simple Valentines greeting, quickly taking the gift and handing it to him.

"You don't need to open it now," you glance away, "You can do it after work. I heard your annoyed whispers when we went in that shop that already had decorations." Looking away from you and at the box, he slowly takes it, nodding.

"Will be better after work, so I get a distraction from my stupid colleagues," Scara speaks and you smile again. You ask about breakfast, but he says he needs to leave earlier. Of course you let him go, this was normal.

You knew he'll probably late home again. Maybe later just to not experience Valentines. Part of you did hope he'd come sooner. Oh well, another day, you should head out. Running out of few ingredients.

...

All day Scaramouche was uneasy. He did catch couples here and there, making him groan at the sight. Why in public? Seriously? Are they trying to prove something?

Yet his mind wandered to you. You're doing all these efforts for him, for the two of you. Not once were you unhappy about each occasion, event, or his attitude, whatever it was. His eyes glued onto the gift you gave him.

He should be with you, not here. And so he leaves, muttering something about an 'urgency.'

When he gets home, it's quiet. Making sure the place is all to himself, he decides to recheck his cooking skills! Thinking for first few moments of what did you like, what could he make for you?

Scara was really focused on doing the finishing touches to a dish for the two of you that he didn't even hear the door opening up. Only when you walk into the kitchen with a bag in hand, your voice breaking the silence.

He immediately turns to you, wide eyes. You stare at each other for a few seconds before you start giggling. His brows furrowed in confusement. What's so funny now? Are you making fun of him?

"Share the joke, idiot," Scara groans, "I've got shit to do." "You- you have icing on your face, darling," you say and laugh, covering your mouth. He blinks, hand reaching up to find it somehow. Then he sighs in frustration, muttering a 'shut up'.

He turns back to finish up with said icing.

"I'm right! There is something!" You say, walking past him, putting your bag down on the counter. A smile stayed your lips while the man said some more curses under his breath.

"You're back early, what's up?" You break the silence again. "What, I can't come home and see my darling?" Scara immediately responds, straightening his back, done with his work. You just shook your head, emptying the bag, putting the contents where they're supposed to be.

It was silent, which had you worried a little. You walk next to him and your eyes immediately catch onto the two dishes. You can't help but let out an 'awe.'

"Made this for us- you," He corrects himself, glancing at you before going to put other stuff away. You stare for a while before finally turning towards him to respond. Before you could start your sentence with a thanks, you're met with his lips against yours.

His hands immediately pulled you closer, holding you in place. You were caught off guard, but kissed him back. After a moment Scara pulled away, staring at you.

"I don't give a fuck about the dish, or about this day, not even the fact that half of the people made out in our stupid hallways," He groans, remembering his day, "It's weird."

You blinked then smiled, "Will there be a follow up?" He slowly nods, "The only thing I give a fuck about is you and how you're always here. I'm- that's weird to say, isn't it?"

"Scara, did you even open the gift I gave you?" You ask and he shakes his head. You nod your head to the side and he takes the hint. Leaving you he goes to get said gift you gave him in the morning.

Inside there were some chocolates, a letter type note you wrote for him, and a smaller different note. He looks at you, "You know I'm not the one for sweets." "That's why I got a new tea taste for you."

It went silent.

Scara was back in front you, taking your hand and pulling you away from the kitchen. "What- did you not like the gift? Was my handwriting hard to read-?" You ask, wondering. He shakes his head, pulling you inside the bedroom.

Once the door is closed, you're pushed against it, Scaramouche breathing in your neck. It sure as hell made you shiver. "No," he speaks, "Nothing's wrong." He lifts his head to look at your confused face, "Everything is how it should be."

...

His nails left marks in your skin from how hard he was holding you. Scara's breathing in your neck, harshly thrusting inside of you while you clawed at his back. Your eyes keep squeezing shut, yet you try to keep them open, to see your lover.

When Scaramouche straightens his back a little to watch you, noises slip past his lips. You're just too gorgeous like this — fucked out expression, warm cheeks, struggling to keep eye contact, your eyes rolling back.

He continues to stare, angling his hips in a different way just to see you turn your head to the side, feel your nails dig in his skin harder. Right then and there he knows he doesn't need anything else in this life other than you.

"[Name], fuck- Look at me," his hand leaves your thigh, going to hold your chin. You focus your gaze on his, a small smile tugging on your lips. His thumb rubs your cheek and Scara leans in for a kiss. Your hands go up to his neck, one hand tangling into his hair.

When you were down on the bed and having a messy makeout, you didn't think so much would happen in a day. A Valentines Day.

There was a stutter in his thrusts, Scaramouche pulling away from your lips. You took one of your hands away and intertwined your fingers with his. He squeezed your hand, nails digging at the back of your hand. You could tell he was trying to not break on top of you. Eyes getting more hazy, voice getting higher, moans mixing with yours.

You were his gift and he was yours.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer again. There's a sharp inhale and his other hand goes to hold onto your waist, pace a little rougher. The way you clench down on his cock is bringing him more and more to the edge.

His name sounds pretty on your tongue. He needs to hear more of it.

Scara leans down to suck another dark mark on your skin. Your head is thrown back, other hand is tugging on his dark hair. You've messed it up with all your desperate tugging. The air feels thick, the sheets feel troublesome and hot.

Your moans of his name get louder and he leaves your neck to look at you. He wants to see the expression on your face when you cum on his dick. He needs to know he has made you feel so, so good. It doesn't take long, his hand is squeezing yours again.

Your body shudders, eyes almost closing, but you keep that eye contact. Scaramouche thrusts inside you few more times until his fast pace drops. Heavy, warm sighs fill the silence. You blinked up at your lover. He swallows, focusing on your eyes once more.

"Scara?" You weakly smiled, "Does.. this mean you're my Valentine for the day?" He raises an eyebrow and you couldn't help, but let out a small laugh. "Does this mean you're mine?" He answers you with a question, leaning down to your face.

You nod, putting your hands around his neck again, "Of course." Scaramouche gives you a quick peck on your lips before responding.

"Let's get you cleaned up, dear Valentine of mine."

Thank you for reading <3 Enjoy your day with a cup of tea, reader. ♡

© h0ney-mochi 2023 / Please don't copy or repost my work and writings! <3

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 14

Heyooo~~~ This was supposed to come out yesterday but I was busy, so... Sorry djsdksjdsk

Top 5 Saddest Boys

Let's do this bottom to top, shall we?

Number 5: Pete (Kinnporsche)

He barely cries, it's true, but to assume this man is fine is to ignore his entire history... I mean, he seems to cope relatively well, but what can really be inferred about a man who doesn't even think he's human? Kinda fucked up, kinda really damn depressing, kinda gonna throw myself off a bridge.

Number 4: Gaipa (Moonlight Chicken)

This list would be meaningless if he wasn't here. I mean... Imagine:

Your father died not long ago, your beloved dilf doesn't want you back and has a boytoy now, your mom just fucking died.

Number 3: Ray (Only Friends)

You thought it was gonna be Sand, right? Or Nick? SIKE!

Ray lost his mom, thinks his dad doesn't like him, thinks his friends hate him, is an alcoholic, was in love with a guy that didn't like him back for YEARS, nearly lost the only guy that maybe could help him be better bc he's overemotional and easily aggressive... Cried like a fucking baby to his therapist about all of this...

That's rough, buddy.

Number 2: Joke (Jack&Joker)

They made War cry every single episode. If you tell me Joke wasn't FUCKING SAD the entirety of this series, idk what to tell you.

His father hated him, he couldn't pass his exams, he's was a wanted criminal, he cheated an innocent kid, he went to jail for 5 whole years, the kid hated him, he gets beat up constantly, everyone around him is trynna use his skills to get somewhere, his actions keep having terrible consequences, people are trying to murder his grandma, his adoptive daughter nearly died, his boyfriend broke up with him, ppl tried to play the SAW films games with him... Like... OOf, give this man a break, will ya?? He's tired! Damn!!

No wonder he's always desperate and crying, I'd be too!! Shit!!

Number 1: Non (DFF)

I don't even have words... Like, I wish I could start somewhere about how much this boy suffered but... I really fucking can't. So allow me to quote my past self listing everything he went through (with a few additions):

Poverty

Isolation

MENTAL ILLNESS(ES?)

Severe Bullying

Guilt-Tripping

Intellectual Property Theft

Being Framed for Mistakes He Didn't Commit

Rich Assholes Asking for Money

A Money Laundry Pyramid Scheme

Owning Money to THE FUCKING MAFIA

Multiple Threats to His Life

Police Interrogations

2 suicide attempts (AT LEAST)

Falling from a Motorcycle

LITERAL Textbook Grooming

Twitter Revenge Porn

A Terrible Break-Up

A Kidnap

FORCED LABOUR

Physical Assault

Overwork

(Probably) Forced Substance Abuse

Negligence

DEATH BY EXHAUSTION

I literally cannot think of anyone that can compete with this boy, like he went through what JESUS never did. He deserved to see all those ppl die.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Kenta (PitBabe); Vegas, Big & Porchay (Kinnporsche); Alan (Moonlight Chicken) & Nick & Sand (Only Friends)

Tony threw that matcha onto Kenta's face and made him cry for thinking the man who raised him loved him as a child. Plus his teenage crush left him behind and went and fell in love with a rapist. Man just had to be mentioned.

Vegas' mom died god knows how, he was raised by an abusive dad who gave him extreme self-esteem issues and a masochist kink as coping mechanism and then the guy was killed in a coup you guys DIDN'T EVEN WIN and now he's forced to obey the people he hates the most in life, he's got no power and no parents, a brother to take care of and the compensation is a bf with as much mental illness and trust issues as him. Congratulations.

Big didn't cry but living your entire life to serve a man who didn't give a shit about you only to die protecting the boytoy he suddenly promoted to husband gotta hurt as hell, dude.

What would you do if there was a child right in front of you? Apparently, to every single adult in Chay's life, the answer was "lie to him", for some fucking reason. His uncle lied, his brother lied, his ex-bf lied, his ex-bf's dad lied, everyone is a liar (and a thief) and Chay's trust issues might just be worse than VegasPete's, not even joking.

Alan... Ah, Alan... I feel like not having any character played by First in this post would be a dishonour to his name, right? sdkjskdjskdjs Man cries so much... And Alan is the epitome of this, I feel like. Not saying I like most things he did during the series but I get him, I mean... It was a long ass breakup and it seemed like it came kinda out of the blue. I'd be fucking miserable too.

Nick kinda did it to himself, I mean, you don't see a player and think you can wife that, but hey... We all make mistakes and ig that mixtape can be worth some good money if he sells it to Atom, so... ✨Silver linings✨!

I feel like Sand... He's just like Nick, he put himself in that situation sort of. Hence not making the top 5. Nevertheless, he did cry and cry and be sad, so... Shoutout to him, my precious little terrible singer <3.

[yukishirostar]

Because of what's happened with Zoro's character the past few chapters in relation to him being called a 'burden', I wanted to discuss Zoro's character in relation to his position and sense of worth as a person and why this is particularly painful to see for me as a Zoro fan.

We all know this was a significant moment for Zoro's character. In particular because it marks how he went from a character who was singularly focused on wanting the become the strongest swordsman to someone willing to give up his own life and dream for his crew.

With a gentle smile and tone after everything he went through, Zoro tells Brook 'the crew is a handful'. It wasn't something he asked for, but this is now his family and one he is responsible for protecting even if it means giving up everything he's worked for in his life so far.

But despite being successful in protecting his Captain and his crew and surviving, Zoro has fears and insecurities after Thriller Bark. From his perspective, they had been lucky that Kuma accepted his terms and he was lucky he survived. But either of those things could have gone another way and Zoro is well aware of that fact. Zoro is someone who puts his value as a person into his strength, and if he doesn't have that then he isn't worth anything. To him, because of his weakness, his crew were in danger and he would have failed his life dream just like that.

Not too far after during Saobody, Zoro is yet again in a helpless situation. Zoro is too injured to run and the other members are trying to protect him. Zoro wishes to sacrifice himself (again) to hold them off so the others can escape, even if it means his own death. He sees himself as being useless in the moment and weighing his crew down.

Zoro begs Mihawk to train him, and as Mihawk recognises, he gives up his own pride by bowing before him. While some including Zoro himself might argue that Zoro's sacrifices so far are because of his ambition and he can't be the strongest if he can't even protect his own captain and crew, I think Mihawk's monologue proves its not just about that and its because well Zoro genuinely cares about his crew on an emotional level. (that should be obvious but some ppl really treat zoro as if he's an emotionless solider so i just wanted to point it out...)

Zoro even goes so far to sacrifice himself for people other than his crew, though you could argue its because Luffy was there, I think its just in Zoro's nature to protect others through sacrifice. While I think it shows resolve and a will to protect, I also think it shows how little Zoro values his own life sometimes when he's so quick to give himself up. We also see this later with how quick he was to take the drug so that he could fight King despite the consequences of doing so.

These reasons is why not just an enemy but a STRAWHAT calling Zoro a burden to his crew is really hitting a sore spot for Zoro. Zoro doesn't get easily affected by anything but having his will to do anything to protect and help his crew being questioned is in my opinion one of the worst things to do to him. Zoro always gives up his everything for his crew, including his own life and dream.

I just hope his crew and others would tell Zoro how valued he is and how he doesn't need to sacrifice himself all the time to be valued as a person.

[ashuzu44]

my ex gf posted a pic of me on tiktok to make fun of me since I looked horrible in that picture to the point that if someone saw it they would ask how I'm still alive with this face, and that tiktok went viral and got over 40k views..also people in the comment section mocked me and made fun of the way I look.. :/ she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that and now I literally don't even want to go out cause I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right..I can't even use loa atp I can't get out of this, a lot of people have already seen me and made fun of me. I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed. I just need help

Hi, sending love firstly and also im extremely sorry to hear that people have actually have the audacity to ask and say such things ˙ ✩°˖🫐 ⋆｡˚꩜

I'll try to help my best I can, so if the way I put things come off as insensitive please note that that isn't my intention.

"I think all the things the ppl have said about my look is right." - Do you want them to be right? My assumption is of course you don't want them to be right. Why would you?

"I've been trying to manifest my df for 4 years but nothing has changed." - How have you been trying? Let me say something, if nothing has changed in the past 4 years then its time to dig a little deeper. No more surface level "ill affirm". It's time to go into yourself, your beliefs and what do you think about yourself. Do you think you don't look good? We need to start attack that first and change that cause no way in heck are we taking that belief and say bye- bye.

"she knows I'm insecure that's why she has done that"- People can be assholes, absolute dickheads. Insecurity is what we need to touch on. I won't say stop being insecure, of course but how? Well firstly, lets try and understand why. Why are you insecure and then change that reasoning.

I know its going to be hard and painful, but changing deep rooted beliefs is the first step. Don't worry about the time, forget that doesn't exist. Take a deep breath, take a step back and break the way you're going to tackle this step by step. Loa works, it has no choice but to because it runs throughout our lives till we die. It has just been given terminology when it is a concept. It will work. Trust me and more importantly have the grit and determination that YOU HAVE your df. You have it, tell that to yourself NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE IN THIS WORLD SAYS. Because you are the operant power and no one else knows you and can control your decisions.

Hope I could help! Take care <3

xoxo, karina

[preeningpisces]

Non-curse AU! Choso is a big ol' nerd

A/N: As a big ol' nerd myself I feel passionately about this, so I have way too many thoughts repost bc it wasn't showing in the tag for some reason

Below the cut because I'm a yapper!

♠ Definitely the type to meet his S/O through discord because I think non-curse Choso is much shyer than regular Choso

❥ He wouldn’t be an admin. He’d be the quiet type that’s always there reacting to posts but rarely talks. Has the sickest emotes tho

❥ Prefers smaller discord communities, mostly video game servers

❥ I think he'd like the vaporwave aesthetic and all the RBG setups. Keeps his computer area neat and tidy

❥ Choso fucking loves video games. He'll buy those $300 special edition pre-orders and get the cool figures

❥ HUGE Soulsborne fan. His favorite is Bloodborne (on the nose but I couldn't resist). Also really loves Monster Hunter. Cares a lot about the monster's details, like their eating habits. I think his fave would either be Odogaron, Nargacuga or Zinogre.

❥ Picks the edgiest weapons lmfao. Definitely a longsword user in Monster Hunter. Went blood build in Elden Ring

❥ *Sigh* he does consult reddit for his builds and is a min-maxer. I'm afraid Choso is a reddit user but in a 'I need a thorough understanding of this' kind of way

❥ Function over fashion: he dgaf if that helmet is as ugly as sin, it gives him +2 endurance and he's gonna wear it

❥ Lets you create his character & name them & everything.

❥ If you can't be present for the character creation portion, he'll make his character you! Definitely made you his dream guardian in Baldur's Gate 3 (which in the early access was called the Dream Lover, which is even cuter)

❥ Not pretentious at all about what is/isn't gaming, and plays all sorts of genres

❥ LOVES NINTENDO GAMES. Mario has a special place in his heart. DEFINITELY mains Shy Guy in Mario Kart

❥ Will literally cry and die if you play video games with him. You don't have to be good because he'll happily teach you. Just watching him play and asking about the details will make his day

❥ Definitely would do those cute Animal Crossing museum dates. Loves the relaxing, chill music so much. Despite his min-maxer approach to other games, he's absolutely not a time traveler in Animal Crossing. He's of the mindset that it ruins one of the core features of the game

❥ Stardew Valley? Stardew Valley. Honestly, I can't decide who he romanced first. My heart is telling me Leah, but chat pls advise

❥ Speaking of chat, you just know he's a fan of let's players. Always watching a YouTuber or Twitch Streamer. He's a Markiplier fan. You know it, just accept it

❥ Tbh that's a cute thought: Choso being a fan of the reader that's a small twitch streamer. Should that be a thing?

❥ Really good at singleplayer games. AWFUL at pvp

❥ He'll play something like Fortnite or Overwatch for Yuji, but needs to be hard carried because he only plays when someone asks him to. He can't stand how toxic those communities are, and doesn't want to socialize with strangers just to play a game

❥ He gets HEATED SO EASILY when people are toxic, especially if it's directed at Yuji or someone else he cares about. Definitely the type to step in and check other ppl when they're being toxic. Like those clips where it's a woman in a lobby and the dudes all start being sexist. Choso will not let that shit fly!

❥ Teabag him if you want to see him lose his shit

❥ On the note of Overwatch: the only character he can and will play is Mercy, and he just pockets Yuuji the whole time. Yuji has to beg him to heal/boost their teammates

[thelikesoffinn]

been thinking about it lately and Ascended Astarion = Dead Dove content and I'm not sure that's really understood, even by the writers. when I finally got around to the character I decided to ascend him with, I was SUPREMELY disappointed by the conversations options following it. it seemed like the dialogue choices were trying to push the narrative on my character that they made this choice w/o considering the consequences and they are bound to regret it. the closest I could get to answering his question of "why did u let me go thru w it?" was "I wanted u to be powerful".

but with that character? my accept Bhaal durge? that isn't the reasoning. at all. (related: "what do u want as a reward?" "ur body" was the closest answer my character could give. otherwise I'd've answered "murder :))")

for context, this run was born of a conversation w my friend discussing supposed content no one had seen bc "no one's that evil". we thought, what's more evil than killing literally every npc? I failed the conceit of the challenge immediately bc I can't handle senseless animal cruelty in my games. killing children? fine (u need a mod to do this in BG3, but I am thankfully plenty delighted to use mods), killing a neutral animal npc? no can do.

so I started this durge (they are the only character that can come close to "killing" Gale with that first interaction) run with the intention of killing everyone except Shadowheart (only a cleric of Shar can truly kill Aylin) and Astarion (bc I need to smooch him). (and there is a mod for playing an origin character as durge, which would have meant playing as Shadowheart, but I MUST smooch Astarion and I don't tend to do het or female romances, unless I'm forced to (*sighs dreamily* oh, Garrus Vakarian). I'm just not interested in that set of equipment in that way, so may as well just make a durge dude.) somehow something went wonky and Halsin ended up joining us and I was so perplexed I just allowed him to stay. (he's meant to attack if u destroy the grove but free him anyway, but instead he just showed up that night and went straight into his Moonrise spiel. is it bc the wolf Silver never aggro'd me and thus survived???) so I fixed the Shadow Curse all while killing every single humanoid and hostile animal in acts 1 & 2. including Thaniel, which makes Halsin's talks later in act 3 of getting news from Thaniel and the Grove hysterical. idk what I did but I sure as hell broke this poor man.

(on a related note, Halsin will give out to u when u accept Bhaal, but will still give u the "u have exceeding my expectations, also we should bang" in the same conversation. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT IT'S DARKLY FUNNY.)

in the conversation when Astarion is expressing surprise that u let him go thru w it, my durge is just like, yes my motivation is that I like to kill ppl :))). it's not a sex thing for him (that is separate from the murder!), but he's still fine w the outcome. yes, Astarion looks down on him, but that's fine! he's allowed to be wrong about that, durge doesn't care. so long as Astarion lets him kill ppl he genuinely just does not give a shit.

(I actually had the idea that if Halsin were to ever rediscover his morals and tried to leave he'd ask Astarion to turn him so Halsin would not have a choice. as I said, this durge *does not fucking care*.)

this is probably the only character I will play that would let Astarion ascend bc I enjoy dead dove SOMETIMES, but not always or in large doses, but I get so few dialogue options that convey that in an rp sense! I don't think the writers/devs REALLY took that into consideration, sometimes. like, yeah, there are going to be ppl making fucked up choices but surely no one would go THIS far! for THIS reason! honey, u need to look up the Dead Dove tag on AO3, there are absolutely ppl making choices for those fucked up reasons.

(and I understand the whole "this confirms to Astarion about sex yadda yadda". even if that's not Tav/Durge motivation, that's how ASTARION would *interpret* it.)

(oh yes, and also, don't let Orin abduct Yenna. it doesn't matter whether u find out in camp or the sewers, Grub will not survive. I was devastated. if I'd known, I would have made sure Halsin was available for her, but she won't abduct a party member or someone ur romancing.)

long story short, I want to play a durge that even ascended Astarion finds unsettling. that's the dream.

Hello there, duck!

Your run sounds delightfully evil! I wish I could play one of those, haha, but I'm too soft hearted. My one evil run with my durge Salira was ended before even entering the grove because I felt horrible after getting rid of Gales hand! Seriously, I can barely take killing the squirrel as durge, and I always save Alfira because I feel horrendous otherwise!

(Fun fact, on all five runs I've done Yenna just vanished at some point and grubs was left standing in my camp, which was like...eh?)

And yes, Halsin is always somewhat of an issue, isn't he? He's just running around, causing mayhem in peoples games because he seems slightly bugged out, haha. I had one run, where he wouldn't go to the spot where we save Thaniel because he joined the fight against Marcus at Last Light and somehow got stuck, for some reason. Same run, none of his vocals would play, which was also very interesting. Everybody would make noise when they climbed or got hurt but Halsin was always silent and just there! And in another run the dude really straight up hated me - he was so mean and snappy, I swear to god he wanted my Durge dead - and then he suddenly went: "Hey you're super cool and strong and I just want to gently fuck you beneath the moonlight if you'll let me" and I was like: Say what.

Regarding the dead Dove: I've talked to people of Discord before, and some of them mentioned something similar a couple of times, but personally, I do think the writers actually knew what they were doing here!

Of course, I do agree that it relies heavily on the regret notion and that it somewhat shoehorns you into a certain narrative corner, I noticed that too when I was ascending him for research - I hated doing that, but all for the asks, haha - but I thought it was really fitting for what it is!

The bad ending, that is. I know we all somewhat forget that because of how people view him as a character, but ascension is the bad ending. Even on an evil run, where your character may have considered all options, it is very likely that Tav hasn't accounted for one very important part of being a true vampire.

The obsession.

It's still somewhat mild in the game, though definitely there, but it will only get stronger as time goes on, and it will probably get to the point that the only escape is death. Either his or Tav's. So, in the end, ascension will come with an armload of regret and the writers were making sure we know that.

And, on top of that, even if we let him ascend in a pursuit for power - or in in your durge's special case: murder :) - we still cast spawn Astarion aside because he doesn't fit our needs, thus making it very clear to him that who he is isn't enough and his behaviour is the price we now pay.

It's pretty much the same with all the other companions as well - justiciar Shadowheart and ascended Lae'zel, for example. However, it doesn't bother us as much, because we have different expectations towards ascended Astarion than, for example, dark justiciar Shadowheart. We don't expect a positive narrative here, a narrative where becoming shady-shar's loyal subject isn't an objectively dumb decision to make, so we don't mind the dead dove as much. It's exactly what we've been expecting - and Aylin even warned us how Shadowheart would change upon becoming a dark justiciar - so yepp. This went exactly how we thought it would and this is what we wanted.

Astarion, however, is a somewhat special case, because his bad ending is, by far, the one that gets the most romanticised. He's so heavily romanticised by so many, that the bad parts nearly start to fade, even with those who don't like the ascended ending. It becomes just 'the other ending', if you will.

And yet, it's still the bad ending.

Ascension is the bad ending for a character that we've somewhat given up on. That we misunderstood so deeply, mayhaps, that we traded his entire being for power and, quite frankly, beauty. We showed him that he isn't enough, we let the boy run and hide the only way he knew how and now we're faced with the consequences and yes, it's really dead dove but...what did we expect?

[demonsfate]

maybe somewhat controversial but saw somethin on a confessions blog saying this and i guess i do kinda miss when rping felt... sillier at times? like with both the existence of magic anons & dash commentaries. things just feel Stricter or More Serious now? not sure how to put it. dash commentaries do still happen, but not as frequently as i used to. like GOSH, i remember 5+ years ago, i'd have my character saying something bizarre and it would BLOW the entire dashboard up. like almost all my mutuals would be commenting on it, a lot of "silly drama" would happen because of it. some would agree with my muse, some would prosecute them. that doesn't really happen anymore. though, i also understand. i get that ppl have boundaries, but sometimes it really feels like you have to walk on eggshells lest you upset somebody.

i recalled one time this character was just being AWFUL to mine (mine who has done nothing wrong lol) just hurling insults, mistreating them, whateves. so y'know, there were dash commentaries about this and it eventually lead to the other mun getting very upset that their character was being "villainized". and it's like ... don't ... write an antagonistic muse if you don't want that? or the very least, don't write them BEING antagonistic toward innocent people? i mean, when ppl's muses & anons used to bully abaddon, i actually loved it. because indeed deserved it, he's a horrible horrible person who mistreats and kills the innocents. and plus it's just fun ok? i love conflict - regardless if it's angsty, serious, or silly conflict.

and magic anons... i get it can be a flawed concept. (ppl can send their Thinly Disguised Fetishes in it - not that i care but obvs other ppl would rightfully care) but i still thought it was very fun because it's like temporary or mini aus. it plunges characters into otherwise impossible scenarios and then give you new thread concepts based on those scenarios. i'd say even to this day, i still accept magic anons. but that feels pointless to say because they're virtually nonexistent anymore.

this was all i was gonna discuss in this post, but i can also understand why the rpc is often... less engaging anymore? why we have a problem with communication, why we have a problem with less anons being sent out. this isn't a generalization, of course - there are other reasons why this happens. but this is something i've personally experienced in the past, and it makes me think it could be the same for other people. it's just the fear of being blown up at, again - upsetting somebody.

i've seen people be legit hateful towards the anons they get A LOT. like an old rper i've stopped writing with would literally call the anons "assholes" and trying to "ruin fun" because the anons would just comment on the threads or ask questions regarding the threads? and it's like i thought that was supposed to be a common thing... anons like that just help add insight to how the muse is feeling regarding a thread or somethin. but the way they reacted was so unnecessary hostile? when they could've politely told anons to stop or just... fucking deleted the anons like lmao. and it's not just this too but i've seen other people just react bitterly to certain anons they get. or this one time where somebody REQUESTED for CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM and i sent an anon giving my criticism, can't remember quite what it was but obvs i said nothing mean or insulting - i just told them a problem i noticed and gave tips on how they could possibly improve (AGAIN, THEY ASKED FOR THIS) and they later went on their blog talking about how they got ANON HATE???? HELLO????? so yeah, i understand not liking certain anons you get or whatever. but ppl react to them with so much hostility, that it makes everyone else afraid to send anons anymore because they'd rather say nothing than upset the user, especially if they're gonna be potentially villainized for something that is virtually harmless.

then there is just talking to people ooc. hell, i've had somebody who followed one of my old blogs (this was like a few years ago iirc?) and their rules had that blood was one of their triggers. so i told them that i tag that so they don't have to worry and they literally said something like "I didn't ask you to :/" and that's it??? and then they were just rude to me the entire convo until we eventually unfollowed lol. not to mention all the skype & discord contacts i add over the years and then we just stop talking in no time...

anyway, i'm not saying everyone is like this at all! there are MANY super cool people in the rpc, many people i have a lotta fun writing with here. but when you look back at all the bad experiences, or even looking at the bad experiences at are currently unfolding, it makes more and more sense why a lotta the "silly" rp aspects that ceased to exist. why there are no more magic anons, and why dash commentary & anons in general are becoming more and more scarce.

it was this post that inspired me to talk about this. which i actually don't agree with everything op said. in fact, i wouldn't even say the primary issue of current threads is romance or smut. more so, i noticed that fluff / slice of life threads with no conflict is what makes up for most threads nowadays it seems lmao. which is also understandable, because again - it's a popular known issue within the rpc that it's hard to have conflict in threads, lest somebody legit gets their feelings hurt OOC!!! hell, this has happened to me a few times because i often play antagonistic muses. which again, is another issue that makes people feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells. but anyway, it just inspired me to think about and discuss this.

[jackhues]

moments from the benny interview/podcast: mitts off with luke gazdic

source

i don't really watch sports interviews/podcasts but i actually really enjoyed this one! the host knows benny and is a leafs fan, so you can actually see how happy he is for the guy. i recommend watching it because benny's accent's so agjshlgslj in this. also this was supposed to be moments but i got carried away and it's become more of a summary

he and the host, luke gazdic, know each other from their san diego days. gazdic said at first when he saw benny he was thinking "this guy's not that good", but he also recognized that he had the build and passion to play hockey. he worked hard too, he just needed to find his role

benny used to fly through his physicals, and he still does. that's the reason a lot of coaches kept him around, he was so fit even if he wasn't amazing at the game. he was 7th/8th dman usually, and trainers/coaches would tell him "you might not see your first game for months" but he was happy to be there and would work his ass off to get the chance to play.

he pronounces familiar like "fam-iliar" (like it sounds like he's going to say family, but it becomes familiar)

benny's enjoying toronto, living just outside of downtown. he's been getting to know the city: exploring restaurants and cafes. he likes trinity-bellwoods and ossington (as a toronto native: those are some nice places, not as sketchy as the heart of dt)

he has two dogs, one from his san diego days, a rescue from his anaheim days, and he got a cat from his gf's friend. he jokes saying "i call it a zoo at home. my gf's the zookeeper, and i'm the bank".

he said "i don't know if i'm a cat guy, but i have a cat". he's just surprised at how different cats are

benny admitted he had an awful camp with the leafs, and he wasn't really mad that brad sent him down. he knows he "just didn't play good, and they [the team/management] don't really know me". he just told himself to work harder. he was battling an injury through camp and his first thought was to get that solved, the time in the minors helped him.

he kept a positive mindset in the minors saying "if you're going i don't belong here, it doesn't help anyone".

while in la's dev camp years ago, he though he was good, but he wasn't called back for rookie camp. in the q, the team finished last, around -35/-36.

then he got a call from anaheim, he destroyed the physical testing and was hitting a lot during that camp. joked about how "he didn't make any friends that week". but anaheim liked that kind of dman, so they gave benny a shot on a one year a-deal, but halfway through the season, he signed his nhl entry level

he considers himself naturally athletic, but he works his ass off to outwork people and make the spot. in juniors, they didn't expect him to play, but ppl got injured, he got a shot and then he was never out of the lineup after that.

he credits his coaches who pushed him to be better. he believes that made him much better, getting on the ice 15 minutes before, etc.

the way his parents raised him was huge to him, he was taught to work for what he wants. he said he was never "spoon-fed" and then asked if that was the right expression, which made gazdic laugh and agree 'yeah you're picking up on all these phrases. that's perfect'

he has a dfm cap : doesn't fucking matter. they had t-shirts and other stuff too

the first time mackinnon cut back on benny, he was like "... this guy's good", he couldn't really defend the move, it was just such a shock.

they talked about a time in sd when benny threw his stick and just went after a guy with both hands, and how he did it again during a game against seattle. benny explains "the stick part, i think my stick was broken and i didn't want to get a penalty" (he pronounces it pen-aal-ty asfjdsfns).

he talks about hitting too saying "it's a simple thing to do, but it's hard to bring it every night and be good at it." he says you have to be careful with your timing, on not getting penalties, on the toll it takes on your body, etc. he says he "always enjoyed hitting, not to hurt guys" but to let them know he's there kinda thing.

he said "if you miss your hip check you just miss the guy" which can lead to breakaways, etc. you can't really miss those. he's been doing those hip checks since bantam, and if you miss it you just look stupid.

"if i do something stupid, i'll answer the bell" in response to his hits. if it's a clean hit, it's clean, but if it's not, he'll answer. he'll stand his ground on either side

gaudreau (cbj) tried a superman punch on benny, and benny tried one right back.

he has some "big names under his belt" - he fought wilson twice, which surprised gazdic

"probably not my smartest decision in life" <- talking about fighting wilson

he once saw an injury during his sd days, where someone's wrist tendon and part of their artery was cut - like he was near the bench door seeing it happen clearly. after that, the team got wrist and achilles protection, which he still wears. he didn't wear the neck guard then bcz it didn't 'look good' and it wasn't common then either. but after what happen to adam johnson, he decided "fuck it. i'm gonna protect myself."

benny goes no tarp, but he has socks on. gazdic didn't wear socks which benny finds crazy. but benny only wears socks, boxers and a jock, which is also crazy. he says it gets a bit hot, esp with the neckguard, so he mainly only wears the padding

his shoulders get scratched up bcz of no tarp

he used to use sakic curve sticks, but they stopped those. p28 is one of the curves he uses. he also has 95 flex, started at 105, but went down. says it's good for crosschecks

luke gazdic is such a big fan of benny, he talks about how he watched leafs games and was just cheering him on the entire time. he's a really genuine person and i love that.

benny talking about 'the big guys' -> "it's impressive to see how they're working so hard, constantly. working on their edges and their skills, it brings out the best in the rest of us"

specifically brought up willy and auston^

"you have to be smart [when defending auston]. if you just dive at him, he's gonna toe drag you, make you look stupid."

when asked which player surprised him in a good way, he said calle jarnkrok immediately. "i love him.... he's so effective... always smart with the puck... in every situation he just does the job"

luke gazdic brings up the older guys like darcy tucker, wendel clark, tie domi and compares benny to them, saying : if you play hard in this city and you work your ass off, they [leafs nation] will love you. they will embrace you for all time... if you just continue the way you're playing now, they'll love you" (which, as a leafs fan, is very true. once you're in, once you're embraced by leafs nation, you will forever be loved. you could have zero points, but if the fans decided to adopt you, you will be loved a hundred years from now - there are ppl i grew up hearing about, old games i watched, and those guys were gone and retired before i was even born. some of them were gone before my dad was born. but once you're loved by the fans, there's no leaving)

gazdic goes "[every time there's leafs coverage] i love it, i have a big smile on my face. [the reporters/articles going] i love this benoit kid... it makes me so happy"

benny stays away from social media to try to focus on his game, but he has noticed some of the loves the fans give him. "if the fans love me... it touches my heart. you know, it's not every day the fans love a simple, stay at home d-man. you know, the fans usually love those skills guys. but if they do love my game, i'm touched by it. i'll just keep to do it, i'll stick to it." (i wish i could show benny the lb's comments)

he was recognized twice in public. he didn't get that in anaheim and can tell just how different hockey culture is here.

he loves milk.

seriously, he drinks a big glass of milk before bed or else he can't sleep (gazdic thought he was trolling, but he wasn't)

gazdic joked saying 'milk' the leafs jersey sponsors, should get benny in an ad

he has a glass bottle of (3.8%) milk in the fridge - no bagged milk, no carton milk

"that's the real stuff" - benny referring to 3.8% milk

he loves the milk sponsorship on the jersey

had to break bcz of character limit

benny tries to have a smile on his face. his parents never pressured him to play hockey, so he's always played because he loved it. now it's his job and he thinks "if i don't love it, i can do something else" but he takes a lot of pride in playing that game and he loves it. so he's got a smile on for everyone - for the fans who come and cheer for him, for everyone who's watching. "my smile's a reflection of the joy the game brings to everyone"

his mindset when he'd been cut on other teams was "i need to learn from the situation and grow". "you need to miss some stuff, you need to make mistakes to learn"

"if you think too far you won't be present in the present" <- talking about playoffs

"go crush it man, keep doing what you're doing" <- luke gazdic to benny

[afsosville]

Shen Jiu, if he was actually a competent shizun

My HC for how Shen Jiu is like with kids without trauma/healed trauma and shit: Honestly with a person like Shen Jiu, I can only see his interactions with kids going one of two ways, him being so very fond of them, and ofc, how he's like in canon. Ok look, in the third book under Shen Jiu's character description, it said that Shen Jiu definitely had more reasons to relate to Luo Binghe than to hate him yet he still chose violence for some fucked up reason. So yes, I for one headcanon that when he's in a better place mentally, he would choose to be doting and fiercely protective. We've seen that he's capable of being like that with Ning Yingying (and Qiu Haitang), and it's not outwardly obvious, but we can see it with the way she behaves around Shen Yuan when she thinks that's still Shen Jiu. She definitely acts like a spoiled younger sister/daughter who looks up to her guardian and shows a great amount of trust in him. So just imagine if that was extended to all of his disciples.

No coz if he was spared enough kindness for him to actually want to do better, he would choose the first option and emphasize with LBH instead BECAUSE smn gave HIM a chance and emphasized with HIM. LBH and SJ are parallels, and so whatever happens to SJ, it would be reflected onto LBH.

I am dead. I am so dead. I'm bleeding out so fast and goddammit it HURTS- SJ and LBH's whole story hurts sm.

Anyways-

I kinda like to imagine that when Shen Jiu's heart settles on the fact that maybe, just maybe, bleeding on ppl who didn't cut him and taking his hurt out on LBH is a no good very bad idea, he's going to end up over compensating for his whole fucking childhood and the way he projects on him is completely flipped.

"I'm going to treat you the way I wanted to be treated and ur going to feel loved and safe do you hear me?!?"

"Yes shizun (*＾v＾*)"

Here's the thing, he may be fond of his disciples, but he is still shit at taking care of them. He was robbed of his own childhood, so he doesn't know what normal kids act like in the first place. And he has no idea what the typical stages of development are and he would totally underestimate how dumb kids who didn't grow up like him would be. So yeah, shit at babysitting but loves them anyhow, for the same reason he would hate them in canon. (They remind him too much of himself). Idk, him being bad with kids regardless of trauma is so funny to me.

That moment when it clicks for him that he may not hate them after all: "oh gods these brats actually like…me? Me? Fuck what the hell do I do?! This is why no one should trust me with kids Aghhhhh!! Still think they're brats tho :( but they're my brats >:) "

He'd be like Shifu from Kung Fu Panda as a shizun. He's strict, harsh as hell and shows no mercy when training, coz becoming a cultivator/martial artist is fucking hard and requires alot of discipline anyway. So he really is doing his best to make sure his disciples come out on top. Shen Jiu is a prideful person by nature, it's just that his disciples are his pride. He's always there for them when they need him, and he will make sure that none of his disciples will ever have to go through anything he has. He wants to be the reliable adult that his disciples seek out. (He will never let it be known that he seeks his disciples' approval and validation as much as they seek his.)

Really fucking specific but idgaf. My social teacher brought chocolate bars to class and gave them out one time. After a few moments she asked if everyone was enjoying themselves. After she heard us agree she went on a lesson about slave labour and the production of goods in underdeveloped countries. Shen Jiu. Would do this. Because he’s a madman.

And Binghe. He would still end up a little unhinged. Like sure being under a master that abuses you will fuck you up one way but if you had a guardian who will start genocides and watch cities burn for you… It does things.

Shen Jiu is morally ambiguous as fuck and that rubs off onto his disciples. He is still a terrible role model, but his kids wouldn't trade him for the world:)

Would be the type that gives 5 yr olds knives for birthdays, bc he had a shit ton of them hidden away on his person when he was that age and knew how to use them when he was on the streets.

“What? It's an appropriate gift! The kid needs to have smt to protect herself! Yeah I know she didn’t grow up on the streets so what? No need to rub it in. Ok fine! I’ll teach her then just shut up. Let’s go Yan-er, some people just don’t appreciate the value of giving practical gifts WAIT PUT THAT DOWN-”

Is this lowkey self indulgent? Yes. Do I particularly care? No. I just want my favourite blorbos to be happy, is that too much to ask for? My Roman Empire is that SJ probably could've been a crazy good shizun if he had a chance to heal. If you've read The Hidden Flower, then you know exactly what I mean.

I already made a post with all of the soft BingJiu fics ik. I could literally make another one rn where they're just chilling platonically, or even as an adoptive family bc I have no chill like that and read all the SJ fics there is to read.

It's already summer and all I have going for me is my job rn and I am sooooo close to going through all nearly 400 pages under the SJ tag coz I simply can.

[raveneira]

Ngl does Sarada even deserve the Hokage mantle at the moment?

She doesn't even particularly care about the village only Boruto. "As a person who aims to become Hokage!" She certainly does nothing to prove that she's striving for it

Nope, she don't, she's actually the least deserving of the title atp, even Inojin is more deserving, hell Himawari too.

Sarada is the very type of person Itachi said didn't become hokage, he told Naruto power and acting alone didn't make you hokage, but gaining the acknowledgement of the village.

Sarada has been acting totally alone through all this, even with Sumire by her side, she's just been yapping at Shikamaru for 3 years, claiming her idol is Naruto and that her fighting for Boruto is like how he fought for Sasuke when no TF it wasn't, nor is her motivation for doing so.

Naruto wanted to save an actual criminal while Boruto is innocent, Naruto genuinely cared for Sasuke and saw his pain that no one else did and wanted to save him from it, Sarada just wants to save Boruto because of how unfair she thinks all this is to him yet felt none of that sympathy for Kawaki, her dad, or even Naruto who were also suffering through cruel and unfair situations, yet she only sympathized with him.

Naruto on the other hand sympathized with everyone he saw was struggling both friend and foe, he had tears in his eyes for Gaara because he empathized with him even while he was actively trying to kill his friends, his heart still felt for him and his suffering.

Tell me where we see Sarada, since Kodachi left cuz that was a whole nother character atp, tell me when we've seen Sarada feel sympathy, compassion, care for anyone else's suffering besides Boruto?

Has she shown any care for Hima who lost her brother, father, and mother? Nope

Has she shown any worry or care about her father and the fact that he turned into a tree because of her? No, instead she hugs a boy and then can't even think to ask him about her father until HE brings it up, AGAIN, cuz she cut him off the first time he tried to

Has she shown any sympathy for Sumire? No, that was her friend too, and she's aware of how Sumire feels about him, do we ever see her asking her how she's holding up with all this? No

Chocho is her best fking friend, do you think we see Sarada even remotely interact with her at all? No, she became insta besties with Sumire purely so they could be the depressed about Boruto duo cuz she knew chocho wouldn't, so what does she do? Nix her altogether, what's worse is she doesn't even consider how chocho might be feeling seeing her best friend go 'crazy' she just moved on to Sumire because that's the only one she can talk to about Boruto because thats all she cares about atp

Her mother? The one who's husband is missing by HER request, the one whose best friend is presumed dead? Non-existent in her mind, she doesn't give af about her mom and how she's doing through all this, never even crosses her danm mind.

Isn't it ironic that Sarada solutions to trying to fight against omnipotence is ONLY BY TRYING TO PROVE BORUTOS INNOCENCE? think about it, instead of convincing them that their memories were tampered with, she just keeps screaming at them that Boruto is innocent because THATS her top priority, THATS all she cares about, ppl realizing he's the good guy who's suffering oh so much and it's all Kawaki's fault for hurting his fee fees and not the bitch she for some reason is friends with now who actually made omnipotence happen, no animosity towards her tho, only the ppl who are against Boruto.

You would never see Naruto act this way, not even with his obsession with Sasuke did he have this level of total disregard for everyone but him, Naruto was willing to fight Sasuke because he cared about other ppl as well, Sarada atp I wouldn't be surprised if Momoshiki took over and was actively attack everyone and Kawaki went for the kill to protect them I wouldn't be surprised if she'd jump in front of him and took the hit like a buffoon, which would then push Boruto into the true pit of despair Momo was waiting for which is probably how the village gets nuked in the first place, until some plot convenient bs helps snap him out of it like Minato in the pain arc but far less believable, my bets on Toneri probably because of jougan

But yea Sarada has gotten that bad atp, she couldn't be more undeserving of the title of hokage, she is completely selfish and only cares about a boy and won't hang around anyone who doesn't also care about said boy, which even tho Hima does too I wouldn't be surprised if Sarada doesn't even know Hima is on Borutos side that's how little she cared to even check on her.

You know it's bad when even Sumire is showing more empathy towards other ppl besides Boruto than Sarada Uchiha, the clan that's all about strong emotions and love, for some reason doesn't care about anyone except one person, the one who idolizes Naruto, one of the most empathetic ppl in these verse. Sasuke literally risked DEATH and his final thoughts were of Sarada, meanwhile Sarada couldn't even bother to think of him even once, never asked about him, and needed Boruto to tell her himself because she 'had so many questions but didn't know what to ask first ' like bruh not seeing or hearing from your father in 3 years then seeing your friend come back twice without him and that's not question number one in your book? Foh man.

Until she gets her mind and character outta the Boruto pit she's not worthy of being hokage, not even jonin with her pitiful display of power, we see konohamaru learned a new jutsu' before we even seen Sarada do something new.

What's saddest about the latest chapter is how concerned Sumire was for her and trying to make sure she was protected when she realized she was the target, only for Sarada to not show an ounce of worry for her or anyone for that matter that was fighting to protect her, she just thinks about how she can't move but we don't see her react at all to the ppl dropping like flies PROTECTING HER but nah this is the future hokage, the Uchiha princess, the strongest couples daughter.

Kodachis and Kishimotos Sarada will forever be missed because THIS Sarada is a fkin disgrace and she deserves every bit of hate she's getting right now until her pitiful writing improves. For the record I don't hate Sarada now, I just hate what she's become in the hands of whoever is writing her and everyone else now that have turned this into the Boruto meat riding show and everybody else can eat dirt cuz they don't matter enough. Including the deuteragonist and heroine.

[cinamun]

*opens my notes and adjusts glasses.* Okay now bare with me bc I swore I saw what bishop was convicted for being soemthing related to bodily harm but I struggling trying to find where I saw it. But regardless, let's remember he was convicted and spent 30 yrs. He himself says he doesn't like that moment of his life.

I haven't read into bishop in his previous gameplay with his original creator so!! Imma have to get to that. But in this case in this story, I think it plays a part to why he suddenly acts caring.

So I think he's doing this to avoid being suspect one. Jay already knows his toxic behavior, mostly mentally abusive. Bishop when around always made a sort of barrier between Mercy and Jay, from disrespecting him and purposefully making him uncomfortable to the point Jay was gonna put a boundary on the contact between him and his mom. Even though Bishop went to Jay to tell him not to do that, he did it in a way that just gave Jay more reason and anger to not unblock his mom. A common thing abusers do with their victims is isolate them. And he's a good manipulator as we saw. His is one of the time he acknowledges himself and her family cutting her off in the same sentence. I'm pretty sure he knows what he was doing.

Obviously he failed at that when her grandbabies where born and she wanted to be involved and now she's becoming more resilient. But, he still has some power over her bc he's a good manipulator.

Moving on, not only does Jay know, but Indya knows and she knows details that she can point out its not healthy and toxic and warns mercy like whatever you choose to do, itll effect your son. Then it effects my daughter. Then it effects me. You don't want shit with Indya. And then, let's remember Mercy went on that public podcast and Bishop exposed himself to ppl listening in, usuing her name, and manipulated his way in again. I remember Indya not rlly buying it.

So, that's 2 ppl, plus their family members that know bishop isn't great.

Now let's move into the whole mercy with a knife situation. I wanna say that even though mercy pulled a knife on him, with he fact he already has abusive patterns and uses sex to get control, and he admits he likes controlling her, and his previous conviction, and she's clearly mentally distressed, they'd probably see maybe he triggered it. But also, as much as I love Mercy and wish she did it, if she truly wanted to harm him, she'd do it. She instead yelled, and let him talk. This shows me she has hesitance. She not ready yet to actually do it. So, she doesn't really have intention to harm.

She'd definitely probably get in trouble for pulling the knife, it's complex, but then he takes to literally smashing her so hard against the wall after taking her down to drop the weapon and de-escalating the situation. He then threatens to murder her. He clearly has intentions to harm if he is threatening to murder and physically harm to the point she's losing conciousness. And also, he has a habit of bringing up her grandkids. He did it here and he did it long before when she was moving out of San Myshuno apartments.

During her unconsciousness, Jay tried to text her bc they do in the end have a close bond. Jay knows his mom. First he assumes maybe she's dating. That's at 2:13 pm. Several hours pass, it's 11:19 pm. Still no response or a simple yes to him asking a question. So now he's worried. Bishop takes her phone and acts like her to make Jay worry less.

Lastly, if Bishop REALLY cared about Mercy's health, he'd drive her to the hospital. If he wanted to avoid suspiciousness, he could of left her and drove off. Act like a civilian. Instead be brings her to an unknown location, isn't letting her leave until she can stand up and not wobble (that's so she doesn't look disoriented) and eat up cus clearly she hasn't. Then also text her son so kess suspicion is thrown on him.

That's been MYYY theory. I think he's avoiding suspicion cus he doesn't want get charged again. He has a pattern of behavior that calls for concern. U stayed before he could of been surprised she was almost gonna get him with the knife. If she's able to pull a knife, who's to say if he left her there, she finally spills to Jay or someone what's happening? Now he's in trouble.

So, take her to a random location, hidden away, seemingly underground, and don't let her leave till she looks normal.

Now I pray to God my phone didn't autocorrect some random crap and make me sound crazy 🙏🏼

[starless-nightz]

Just because you don't care doesn't mean that you should make other people's experiences worse by putting hate in a tag that people go to in order to see non-hateful things about their ship.

Not into Arcane, nor any of the ships, but I just don't think it's nice to put that sort of thing into tags.

I ranted recently about how much I hate the new ZZZ story because three of the characters that I had liked up to that point I began to hate because they were acting like literal children just so that people could project their UwU Yanagi-Mommi fetish onto her for having an unhealthy relationship with her co-workers.

I used the Yanagi tag, because my stance on Yanagi was pretty neutral, and I refrained from using the tags for the characters that I was putting down throughout my venting, because I didn't want someone exploring the tag to stumble upon what is essentially me bashing what could potentially be their favorite character.

What was your goal with adding that tag? What was the reasoning behind it? Are you tired and weren't thinking and you're too stubborn to change it now? Did you want to tick people off? Did you want more people to find your post and account?

Just explain to me why you went through the trouble to add a tag for a ship you hated, and I'll chill out for a bit.

I'm a regular on this blog, and I don't want to start a fight with someone who does creative asks, doesn't put up with bs, and seems to want to try to have a good code of conduct and is trying to help out their mental health.

I just want to know the why.

Its basicly a reflex atp to add like the tags for things related to the post and i'm just too lazy to change it, it wasn't even a hate post towards the ship more so towards the shippers.

As i said I'm personally not a timebomb shipper, it just isn't my cup of tea, but the shippers are making me start to dislike the ship.

^ Thats quite literally everything i said in the post, it wasn't hate towards the ship at all.

If its really bothering ppl so much i will remove the tag.