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blackmissfrizzle · 4 years ago

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Wild Child

Characters: Miguel Galindo x black!reader

Summary: Miguel can’t control his free spirited wife.

Warnings: Its filthy. I tried to put some plot in it but its barely there lol.

WC: 4.1K

A/N: I hit a couple of birds with this one stone. First its a request from @darlingcherrybomb-Can I have 11 & 15 w/ Miguel Galindo plz??? thank you :) and this is also my submission for my 2K Follower Celebration and Bad Bitch Challenge. The song I’m using is Hood Rat Shit. Also shoutout to @starrynite7114 for indulging me!

Prompts are bolded

When Miguel Galindo started dating you no one really batted an eye. They simply thought the businessman/cartel boss was going through a mid-life crisis and wanted some young pretty thing on his arm. But when he slipped that engagement ring on your finger and made an honest woman out of you, everyone had questions. You were Santo Padre’s resident wild child.

If it wasn’t the Mayans causing trouble, then it was you. Growing up the Reyes family was your next-door neighbors and that instantly made EZ and Angel your best friends. Even as a child Angel was charismatic and that easily made you look up to him. Everything he did, you tried to do. That earned you the nickname, Angelita. If you could’ve joined the club, you would’ve.

So how you ended up married to Miguel was a mystery. Sure, you cleaned up nice and despite your wild ways you had a respectable job, but you still were considered as riff raff, nothing but a damn troublemaker.

Where everyone saw a crazy party girl, Miguel saw an independent uninhibited woman. Someone unafraid to speak their mind and can hold their own in this cutthroat world. Someone who could handle all of him. Someone who humbled him and made him enjoy the simpler things in life.

Although, he loved you, you were a fucking headache. Your free spirit didn’t sit well with the confines of his lifestyle. Any chance you got you ditched the bodyguards. Upscale lounges? Nah, you loved the dive bars. There’s a Mayans party? You’re there. Dress like you’re a powerful businessman’s wife? Nope can do. You were allergic to designer and preferred jeans and leggings. Being driven around town? No thank you, you were a speed demon. As you and your friends love to say, “You’re ain’t nothing but a hoodrat hoodrat, hoochie mama.”

Like tonight, he specifically told you he didn’t want you hanging out at the clubhouse because he heard some rumblings of trouble with another MC. But of course, you didn’t listen. It was EZ’s patch party and you were gonna celebrate with your boys.

“Run me my money, Medina!” You folded your hand in the ‘gimme�� motion.

“Aren’t you already rich?” He asked, slapping the twenties in your hand.

Angel busted out laughing and nudged Medina with his shoulder. “We told you not to play her. I told you she’s vicious. Don’t ever fall for the puppy dog eyes.”

Everyone joined in at Medina’s lost. At this point most Mayans in the Santo Padre charter and other charters knew not to play pool with you or at least not to underestimate you, so finding someone not privy to to your skills was delightful.

Throughout the night, your goal was to set EZ up with Gabby and not just for a one-night stand. He desperately needed someone else to focus on instead of Emily. Currently, you were outside at a table with your crew: Coco, Gilly, EZ, and Angel.

“Just go talk to her.” You urged your best friend.

“Yeah, for some crazy ass reason she likes you.” Angel slapped the back of his brother’s head.

Tracing your finger along his arm, you pointed out the evidence. “It’s this damn vein that always making an appearance.”

Coco sat back in amazement. “That shit really turn y’all on? Simple stuff like that? One time I had a chick obsessed with my fingers. She got turned on whenever I held a cig. I thought she was into some freaky ass shit.” The whole table erupted into laughter. For Coco to be so experienced, he was clueless.

Taking his hand in yours, you began tracing his fingers and inspecting. “Oh ok, I see you Coco Cruz. These shits are veiny, long, and thick as fuck. Yeah, homegirl was obsessed!”

“But why, chiquita?” Coco flicked you on the nose.

“Do you not finger bitches, Cruz? These are prefect candidates for fingering. Like dude, when I see, Miguel’s fingers wrapped around a glass, I get all wet and tingly inside.”

If you were paying attention, then you would’ve noticed how quiet all the guys gotten. It wasn’t until Coco slyly slipped his hand out of your grasp that you felt a presence. “He’s behind me, isn’t he?”

“Yup, Angelita!” Angel hooked his arm around your neck and ruffled your hair. A gesture that didn’t bother Miguel. He understood the familial dynamic you had with the Reyes brothers.

“Hey babe!” You smiled at him like you didn’t just disobeyed him by showing up at this party.

Miguel gave you a small smirk. It was his way of telling you he was pissed off, but he wasn’t going to show it in front of company. “Sweetheart,” he kissed you on top of your head. “I’m going to talk to Obispo and then we’re leaving.” His tone told you there was no room for arguments.

Miguel left you to go to talk to Bishop and give you some time to tell your friends goodbye. Marcus stood by you as he watched boss leave. “Angelita, do you ever stay out of trouble?” He patted your back and kissed your temple.

You held your chin as if you were in deep thought. “Mmm, nope. Its too much fun not to.”

“We should’ve nicknamed you little Diabla.” Gilly joked.

“Screw you, Gilly!”

“No, that’s your husband’s job and by the way you’ll be walking like Bambi for the next week will be proof enough.” You slapped Angel upside the head, but the only further his laughing. They all loved to tease you when you got in trouble with Miguel.

You didn’t have time to quip back, because Miguel came back done with his conversation with Bishop and from the looks of it, Bishop got some bad news. Hopefully, none of it had anything to do with you.

When you got in the car the partition was already rolled up, a big red flag that you were in trouble. “Sooooo, what did you talk to Bishop about? He looked upset.”

Miguel cut his eyes to you before he looked back out the window. “That other MC was on the way to the clubhouse to shoot up the place. I handled it when I was on the way. Just dumb luck we stumbled onto them.”

“Wowwww,” you blew a raspberry and widen your eyes as saucers. You hated when he was right, it knocked down all your objections. “Lucky that you were on the way then, huh?” You gave him a nervous smile and scratched the back of your head.

“Lucky?” He repeated the word with venom. “You could’ve died!”

“But I didn’t!”

“You disobeyed me!”

It was true, you didn’t listen, but everything worked out in the end. “I know but-”

One of Miguel’s hand grasped your throat hard enough to make breathing a little harder, but not enough to hurt you. He pressed his face against to the side of yours, harshly breathing against your ear. “No buts- you deliberately disobeyed me and if it wasn’t for me coming to get your bratty ass, you would’ve been dead!”

“Miguel, I’m sorry.”

With his other hand, Miguel shoved his hand down your pants. “Oh, you’re about to be sorry, mi vida. I’ll show you what these fingers can do.” His fingers pushed your panties to the side and explored all your wetness. “Shit! You’re loving this, you dirty little slut. I bet if I wanted to, you’d let me finger you in front of all your little Mayan friends.”

You began riding his fingers as he fucked into you. It was too much not to move. Miguel was an expert in your pleasure and knew how to set you off in minutes if that’s what he wanted, and it appeared he wanted you to suffer. “Miguel, pleaseeeeee.” You pleaded with him, grabbing onto his wrist for support.

“Hmm, please what, querida?” He licked the side of your face then pulled your earlobe in between his teeth. “Dime que quieres. (Tell me what you want.)”

“I want to cum. Please Miguel.” You pecked at his lips giving him the chance to devour your lips. “If you want to cum, you’re gonna have to do it yourself.” Miguel murmured against your lips.

Miguel kept his fingers still as you rolled your hips. It wasn’t the same as him pumping his fingers in and out, but you knew there was one way you could get him to participate once again. Keeping your eyes on Miguel, you wet your fingers and let them find your clit. Not even one rub in and Miguel had his hand around your wrist. “Who told you that you could touch what’s mine?”

You bent down and whispered by his ear. “If it was yours, I would be cumming by now.”

Miguel growled and began furiously fingering you and rubbing your clit with his thumb. “Fucking brat! I better not hear any crying from you tonight talking about its too much. You’re taking everything I’m giving you.”

He wasn’t taking it easy on you anymore. Miguel pumped into you as fast as he could while suckling kisses along your shoulder up to his neck. “Te amo, mi vida. But if you ever do something that stupid again, I won’t have any problems locking your ass up.”

Your lips met Miguel’s for a searing kiss. “I love you too, Miguel.”

Taking some of your hair, Miguel moved it to the other side and kissed your neck. “Now cum all over my fingers.”

Your body immediately responded to Miguel’s command, making you leak onto the seat. That sight almost made Miguel unhinged, but he contained himself. The things he had planned for you couldn’t be executed in the back of a car. So, he allowed you to rest until you got back home, where he could teach you a lesson or two about obedience.

The thing about certain lessons with you was that they weren’t long-lasting. There was something that always drew you back to your rebellious ways. Tonight, was girl’s night and you were on your way out the door when you heard Miguel’s voice. “Go change.”

You stopped in your tracks and looked back at your husband sitting with Marcus and Nestor. “Excuse me?” Nestor rubbed his hand over his face and Marcus lowly chuckled. Looks like it was about to be an interesting night in the Galindo household.

Miguel put down the report he was reading and focused his eyes on you. “I said go change, mi amor.”

You knew this was a risqué outfit, but you thought if you walked fast enough, Miguel wouldn’t notice. “What’s wrong with this?” You asked, pretending like you damn well didn’t know what was wrong.

The chair scraped against the floor as Miguel backed out of the chair. He surrounded you as a predator inspecting his prey. A lion chomping at the bits to get to his meal. “You are not wearing that out. I will rip it off you. Now go change or you won’t see your friends until the next girls’ night.” He pulled the strap of your top, letting it slap against your skin. As you turned to go up the stairs, Miguel smacked your ass for his victory. It wasn’t very often that he easily won your compliance.

When you came back down, Miguel was much more appeased with your outfit. A simple flowy black tank top replaced the corset bodysuit you had on earlier. He genuinely wished you a good time as you left. Miguel knew that with a couple of drinks in you, you would be primed for some nasty sex later. Little did he know that you had your original top in your purse and had plans to ditch the bodyguards.

A little later that night, Miguel, Nestor, and Marcus went out to a restaurant to take a break from the tedious work. Nestor excused himself from the table when he got a call from the security team. Miguel flagged the waitress down when he saw Nestor pinched the bridge of his nose. It was the same thing he did when he heard you were up to no good. “She ditched the bodyguards?”

Nestor pulled out his phone to show Miguel a video. “Yeah and is having the time of her life.” Miguel grimaced as he fixed his suit jacket. “Let’s go get my wife before I have to fill my church pew.”

—

The lounge you and your girls went to was nice at first, but after the first round of expensive watered-down drinks all of you were ready to go. Especially, since the music wasn’t danceable to. It was $2 everything at one of your old haunts, so that’s where you went. They had the best mix of current and old hits, having everyone vibing.

With all the drinks being $2 and very strong, you were easily drunk enough not to have a care in the world. Unsurprisingly though you were the most coherent (drinking with bikers would do that to you). So, you knew that you shouldn’t have gotten on top of the bar, but you couldn’t give one flying fuck. What was Miguel gonna do? Put you on his church pew? Please, one bash of these eyelashes and you’d be out of trouble.

The dj began playing a set of Megan thee Stallion and you were in your zone. You and your friends were providing entertainment as y’all screamed the lyrics out.

I want to do it ‘cause it’s fun

It’s fun to bad things

(Hood rat shit)

Drive into a car (Ahh)

Didi you know you could perhaps kill somebody?

(Mwah)

Yes, but I wanted to do hood rat stuff with my friends.

Instantly, you and your friends got into your Megan squats and twerked just like the song told y’all. Its been so long since you did it that you almost got scared that your knees would buckle.

Hood rat shit (Huh) with my hood rat friends

(Ayy)

Everywhere we go (Ayy) we be drinking Hen

(Ayy)

Shake that ass, shake that ass, bitch, bounce that shit (Ayy, yeah)

If you weren’t so caught up, you would’ve felt the air in the room change. You would’ve felt the oxygen leave the room, making it harder to breath. You would’ve stopped making random people drive the boat while they had a great view of your cleavage due to your corset bodysuit that you secretly changed back into.

It wasn’t until you felt that overwhelming presence that you noticed your husband next to you. He rested his elbow on the bar and held his chin in his hand smiling up at you. “Oh, hi honey. Funny seeing you here.” You greeted him. Miguel couldn’t reach your hand, so he started rubbing on your ankle. “No, its funny seeing you here in that,” he nodded at your corset. “What happened to your other shirt?” There was no good answer, so instead you bent down and rapped the lyrics to Miguel, playfully having your fingers in his face.

You ain’t from my hood (Huh)

What you doing round here? (Hey)

Asking all them questions (Huh)

You must be the Feds (Ayy)

Better get from round here

Before you wind up dead (Yeah)

The corner of Miguel’s mouth quirked up as he patiently waited for the song to be over. Despite how mad he was, he enjoyed seeing you have fun with just the simple things. And it wasn’t from youthfulness, but from a good heart. That’s what made him love you. The only things you needed was your friends, family, and good times, and you reminded him that was important.

“Terminada?”

“Yup,” you took his offered hand and jumped down from the bar. He draped your leather jacket over your shoulders and zipped it up. “Really?” Your eyes dipped down to your chest. Miguel cupped your cheek before he kissed it. “Yes, really. Now let’s leave before I have to shoot someone for ogling you too long.” Quickly, you exited the bar. There was no need for anyone to die because of you.

On the way back to your house, Miguel didn’t reveal how pissed he was. He just kept a possessive hand on your denim clad thigh and discussed his plans for the week. He didn’t go into gory detail, but just enough to prepare you for how busy he would be. That was practically a warning. With him being pissed about your activities tonight and pair that with his busy schedule, let’s just say your glad you’ve been focused on your flexibility and stamina.

Finally, at home, the both of you told Nestor and Marcus good night. You headed for your room, but Miguel gripped the back of your neck tightly and steered you to the playroom down the hall. Miguel specifically used this room when he planned to fuck you for hours. Dear lord, this was gonna be a long night.

You knew better than to speak as he sets up the room. Standing stark still you watched as he lit candles, turned on the fairy lights, and set the LED lights a mix of blue and purple. Miguel loved how the blue hue reflected off your brown skin. It highlighted every single thing he loved about you.

When he was finished setting the ambiance, Miguel circled around you until he was standing directly behind you. He said nothing as his hands went to the button of your jeans. His warm breath caressed your neck like a hug, his hands setting fire to your skin as he pulled down your jeans.

A yelp escaped your lips when you felt Miguel’s teeth scrape against your ass. Done with what you were for sure knew were gonna leave marks, Miguel ran his nose along your ass until he reached the crook of your neck. He dug his fingers into your ass while his teeth dug into your shoulder. The pain was welcoming, making you quiver all over.

“Hands behind your back.” Miguel ordered. Soon, you felt the cuffs around your wrists and then the sensation was felt around your ankles as well. “Stay here.” He whispered against your ear.

You watched Miguel swagger to what you called the ‘sex couch’, it was curved to accommodate your bodies, specifically for adult activities. He sat down, legs all wide and inviting while he loosened his collar. Crooking his fingers, he told you to come here.

The heels you were wearing made you the perfect height that Miguel’s face was directly at your navel. He pressed a light kiss there, then he reached up to your shoulders to push you down on your knees.

Unzipping his pants, he pulled out his cock and you were instantly hypnotized. Honestly, Miguel should just whip it out all the time when he wants you to do something. You’ll listen to him…momentarily.

“Aren’t you gonna take off your clothes?” You inquired.

Miguel wrapped his hand around your hair. “No, at least one of us needs to know how to dress. Now, suck my dick. It ain’t gonna suck itself.” Out of nowhere, he pulled out a cigar, lit it and began smoking it, his way of dismissing you.

There was no way you were gonna tease him. From the tension in his body you knew he would snap at any moment. Your mouth engulfed his length, only getting a couple of bobs in until Miguel roughly pushed your head into his crotch and pummeling your mouth with his cock. All of him took up the room in your throat, but it didn’t bother you. You loved that it was you making those moans come out of Miguel’s mouth.

He granted you a little reprieve and let you up for some air. He took one more puff of his cigar before putting it out. His hands went to your corset to pull your breasts out and for a moment he fondles them with interest until he slapped them and twisted the nipples. “Dressed like a fucking whore! Letting everyone see your tits. I should’ve fucked you right on that bar. No one would’ve stopped me.” Miguel’s hand was now around your throat and he pulled you towards his face. “Would you have let me fucked you there? Hmm, be my little whore?”

“Yes daddy! Whatever you want to do to me, you can.”

His other hand found your hair again. “Huh, you’re giving me permission? I know I can do whatever the fuck I want to you because you’re mines. The only one who seems not know this is you. Can’t follow simple fucking instructions. Is it that hard to listen to me?”

“No.”

“Then why don’t you listen?”

The brat in you just had to jump out, you smiled up at him like a madwoman before responding. “Because it’s fun and I enjoy doing hood rat shit.”

Miguel finally snapped. With unknown strength he ripped your bodysuit off your body and threw you onto your stomach on the couch, securing your ankle cuffs to the locks on the couch. Miguel didn’t bother to take off his clothes, you could feel the fabric of his Armani slacks as he pushed into you.

Even though it was about Miguel’s pleasure, it was about yours as well. Every one of his thrust got you closer to your end, but you wanted more. You wanted to touch your husband, you wanted your lips to leave the same marks he was leaving, you wanted to look him in the eye as he called you a slut, whore, and everything in between. “Daddy turn me around. I want to look at you.” You pleaded.

Miguel hips stuttered a bit, he couldn’t believe what his ears just heard. Leaning forward, his clothed chest was against your naked back. “Did you just give me an order? You think you can just get what you want?”

He couldn’t see your doe eyes, but he could hear the sickeningly sweet babied tone you use on him whenever you want something. “Yes, because I’m your baby girl.”

“Be careful what you wish for, baby girl.” Miguel flipped you over, his hand flew to your throat as he thrusted into you. He loved how you tightened around him when his hand found its permeant place on your neck. “So, fucking responsive to me. Tell me how much you love this cock.”

“I love it so much, daddy. I wish you could be in me every minute of the day” you gasped in between thrusts.

Miguel hovered over you and smoothed your hair. “How sweet, kitten.” He mocked you, then spat in your mouth and smeared it over your face, before shoving four of his fingers in your mouth. He chuckled at how your eyes widen. “What? I thought you wanted to look at me?”

You tried to say something, but your words were muffled by his fingers. “Hmm, what was that whore?” Miguel took his fingers out so he could hear you clearly. “Can I cum, daddy? Pretty please.”

Miguel couldn’t deny you anymore. “Since you asked so nicely, you can.” His thumb reached for you clit and rubbed on it until your legs were shaking and your eyes were rolling to the back of your head, but Miguel wanted your eyes on him. He grabbed the back of your neck and rested your forehead on his. “Look at me when you cum!” Once your eyes connected, Miguel reached his own orgasm and coated your walls with white hot cum.

In an instant, Miguel released the cuffs and carried you to the bed while giving you reassuring kisses and declarations of love. Despite your protests, he left to go get the both of you some water and towels to clean up. While he was gone you reached out for your phone that Miguel conveniently placed for you.

You: Sorry, guys I won’t be able to make it to our ride tomorrow. Raincheck?

Angel: I told y’all! I knew Galindo was gonna fuck her up for that outfit.

Coco: Damn! He broke you off that bad?

You: No, he broke me off that good!

Gilly: EARMUFFS!

You: Blame Dumbass #1 and Dumbass #2. Now am I gonna get a raincheck?

EZ: Yes, you will, Angelita. GN.

Knowing that the guys weren’t going to be mad at the fact that you weren’t going tomorrow, you silenced your phone, ignoring whatever argument they would no doubt get into. Instead you waited for your husband to return to continue breaking you off for the rest of the night.

Tagging: @starrynite7114 @marvelmaree @thickemadame @woahitslucyylu @ifoundmyhappythought @chaneajoyyy @angrythingstarlight @sadeyesgf @teakturn @dearsamcrobae @strawberrywritings

#frizzle 2k celebration #bad bitch challenge #miguel galindo #miguel galindo x reader #miguel galindo x black!reader #miguel galindo fanfiction #mayans mc #mayans #mayans mc fanfic #danny pino #frizzlesfic #frizzlefic #frizzlewrites #ask frizzle

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kiszkakiss · 5 years ago

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The Cabin in the Mountains

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader

[AO3 or Wattpad, if you prefer: x / x]

Summary: Jake helps you feel safer around spirits in the haunted cabin.

Warnings: Some swearing, ghosties and disappointment if this isn’t what you were expecting.

A/N: I don't know if this turned out exactly as requested but I gave it my best shot. Also, I am a person who has never been drunk or high and is not planning on being so any time soon. Or ever. Writing about that is hard because I've never experienced it... so, there you go. Just a warning for bad writing, I guess. Also, sorry for the shit title.

[Word count: 1,453]

Tagging along, with Greta Van Fleet, to their week-long writing session was not what you had planned for the week but when Jake asked you if you wanted to come with them and hang out while they were working on their debut album… well, you couldn’t turn it down. Your friendship with Jake had flourished over the past few months and you hadn’t quite admitted to yourself that you had a crush on him. There was no way he’d feel the same way and you didn’t want to spoil what you had. Being a songwriter yourself, you thought you might get some inspiration or at least be of some help; plus, you could spend time with your best friend. There was just one thing, though. Nobody told you it would be in the in the creepiest-looking cabin you’d ever seen.

It was in the Tennessee mountains, practically in the middle of nowhere. The van pulled up to the driveway and you stepped out, gazing at the cabin. It was actually really beautiful and you made a mental note to take some pictures during your stay. The wooden structure was large; it looked almost run-down from the outside and you could feel the eerie energy radiating from it. While you were admiring the cabin from afar, the rest of the boys were already making their way inside, without hesitation.

“You coming in?” Jake asked, smirking at you. “Hey, wipe that look off your face.” You pointed at him, firmly. “I’m just taking in the scenery.” Jake could read you easily which was something you loved and hated about him. You didn’t like that he knew you were nervous; he’d be all too tempted to fuck with you. Jake spoke in reassuring tones, “It’s really nice inside, come see. I promise it’ll be fine.” You stared at the ground for a moment and then followed him past the threshold.

It really was quite nice. The living room was giant, like a hall, and there was a gorgeous fireplace which you couldn’t wait to get going. Josh showed you upstairs, to your room, and you were definitely feeling apprehensive about sleeping there by yourself. It was small with one single bed and a bedside table, an antique lamp sitting on top. You couldn’t pinpoint it but you just had a weird feeling about the place. Then, you heard thudding footsteps and Sam appeared in your doorway, then Danny. They looked manic. “Guys, this place is definitely haunted.” You cringed at Sam’s words, though, you knew he was just saying what you were all thinking. Josh agreed and left to sort out his and Jake’s room, Sam and Danny continued to check out the rest of the cabin. Guess I’ll just get settled, then. You thought.

A few days had passed by without any issues for the most part; just the usual arguments and bickering. The boys spent most of the time jamming, brainstorming ideas and you found yourself staying up late with Jake, offering your thoughts. He seemed grateful to have you there and you were happy to help; enjoying being physically close to him more than ever as you shared the computer chair, sometimes sitting on his lap and messing about with the recording and midi software. By the time you went to bed, you were too tired to be scared. This changed on the fourth night, though.

It could have been the beer… or maybe you’d indulged in too much weed but you definitely heard something. There was no doubt in either of your minds. Quick footsteps sounded out from the hallway, clear as day, when you and Jake were hanging out in the living room. Everyone else had called it a night. Jake was closer to the doorway, sitting at the Mac, editing some of their rough recordings when he promptly turned to you. “Did you hear that?” He didn’t miss a beat which was odd, considering you were sure he was a little more intoxicated than you. You shifted uncomfortably on the couch, leaning forward as if that would help you hear better if the noise were made again. “Uh, yeah. How could I not hear that?” “Josh? Sam?” Jake called out the obvious culprits but there was no answer. “They’re probably just messing with us.” You laughed although you still felt uneasy, “Yeah, probably.”

When you both had finished up at 3am, you were hesitant to go to sleep by yourself. “Jake, please.” You were tugging on his sleeve, begging him to stay in your room with you. “I am too young to die. I refuse to die at the hands of a ghost, of all things.” “Y/n, stop. You are not going to be killed by a ghost. When have you ever heard of someone being murdered by a ghost?” Jake looked pointedly at you. You thought about it and came up with nothing. “Exactly.” “Can you please just stay with me anyway? Just in case… or just for fun. Whatever.” You tried to play off that last part, not wanting the long-haired guitarist to know of your feelings for him. Jake sighed and let you drag him to your tiny room. “Do you… should I get my stuff? I’ll sleep on the floor.” He pointed his thumb towards the door. “Please don’t leave me alone, Jake. We can both fit, right?” You stared at the narrow bed. “We’ll just have to… squish?”

So, there you were; the bare chest of your best friend and crush flush against your back, feeling his soft breathing on your neck as you were trying not to panic. The cabin was fairly old, you figured, so, it would creak and make all sorts of noises. That’s probably what you heard in the hallway that night. It didn’t, however, explain the whispering you were hearing. You kept telling yourself it was the other boys; they must have decided to get an early start or something. “Are you okay?” Jake’s sleepy voice cut through your racing thoughts. “Oh, my god.” you whispered, smacking his arm. “You actually scared the shit out of me.” He leaned up on his elbow to see you better. “You were breathing really hard and shaking, it woke me up.” “Wow, okay. Cool. Thanks.” Sarcasm dripped from your voice. “I’m kidding. Just making sure you’re okay.” “I’m not.” “What’s wrong?” “Look, it’s probably nothing. Just go back to sleep.” Jake paused, rubbing up and down your side, trying to calm you down. “Please tell me. I want you to feel safe.” “Fine… I heard whispering.” “In here?” “No, out there. It’s probably the guys, though.” “I sincerely doubt they’d be up at 5am. Do you want me to check?” You shook your head vehemently, “No, please just… stay.” Jake settled back, pulling you closer to him; his arms wrapped around your waist, hands clasping with your own. You felt him place a gentle kiss against the side of your head and you already felt significantly calmer.

As the nighttime rolled around again, you drank much more than the night before; trying to calm your nerves. Jake seemed to have the same idea and you were both giggling messes, cuddled up on the couch. “Honestly, I’m not surprised you heard some freaky stuff last night.” Josh said, unfazed by his twins sudden display of affection towards you. Sam chimed in, “Told you this place is haunted! Danny heard a little girl laughing today.” Your giggling halted and you all shot Danny looks of shock but it didn’t last long because Jake started freely talking to the ghosts. “Hellooo, spirits!” He shouted cheerily as his eyes darted around the room, unsure of where exactly to look. “We don’t mean any harm, we’re just a band trying to get some work done!” “Yeah,” you continued, “we come in peace or whatever.” Jake and Josh cackled at that but Sam straight-up told you that’s an alien thing. You didn’t care, you just didn’t want any trouble with whatever spirits inhabited the cabin. For some reason, speaking directly to them made you feel better; whether it was a figment of your imagination or not. “We’ll only be here for another couple of days, then we’ll be out of your way. We accept your presence and we hope you can accept ours but, like, can you please leave us alone until then?” Jake posed the question and everyone was silent as if there would be a distinct answer. “I think we’ll take that as a yes. Thank you very much.” Jake made a praying hands motion and proceeded to cuddle up closer to you; his cheeks rosy and his drunken smile making you fall for him even more.

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years ago

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Druck season 3, episode 1 reaction

WE DID IT, KIDS. When Druck’s first season aired, I knew shortly after Matteo’s introduction that I could not wait for his season. But with that came a lot of apprehension that we would ever get Matteo’s season - Druck S1 got less attention than some of the other remakes, and for a long time, the fandom didn’t know if the show would get a S2, let alone S3. Months went by with no official news of when the show would return. Many people thought the show had been quietly cancelled.

And then, finally, Mia’s season was announced. Ratings and subscribers grew substantially. Druck trended frequently on YouTube and Tumblr. Then finally, we got confirmation that S3 was in the works. So here we are, and to put it politely, my ass is on fire.

Episode 1

Clip 1 - Matteo’s miserable night

Party time! This opening is pointedly sexual, with the music (”You’re turning me on”) and the dancing, with the closeups of boobs and butts and writhing bodies. Sara gets freaky with a banana. The presence of sex makes sense to highlight Matteo’s alienation, as we see him sitting on the couch, not participating. He’s disengaged from the flirtation and seduction, this isn’t something he wants to be a part of.

Is the guy dancing with Hans the turtleneck dude, or is that someone else? PLOT TWIST: he was never Matteo’s love interest, despite fan theories. He was Hans’ love interest all along!

Matteo gets up, trying to escape this scene that makes him uncomfortable. But Sara pulls him into a dance (much like she’s going to be playing the role of Emma this season, pulling Matteo back into an attempt at a straight relationship). They kiss, and he’s soooo not into it, hugging her and staring over her shoulder into space like she’s his great-aunt who smells like mothballs and he can’t wait to get the fuck out of this family reunion.

He escapes into the bathroom where the boy squad is smoking weed. Carlos showing the boys a sex position on his phone. I’m sure Matteo loves hearing about that. He’s getting high as the boys debate the mechanics of this man-woman sex position. The proper response, honestly.

Oh my God, Carlos just called Kiki a catheter. He meant cathetus. I don’t think you’re ready to integrate catheters into your sex life, dude.

Matteo looks dead. I know he’s getting high, but this kid looks fucking deceased. Someone revive him already.

When he realizes he has three calls from Kiki, Carlos pulls up Jonas and Abdi, saying they’re going to go hook up with girls. An activity that I’m sure Matteo wants to participate in. Matteo lingers behind. He just seems so wiped. He looks at himself in the mirror and it’s as if he’s disappointed in what he sees. (The way it’s shot makes his mirror image divided down the middle, like he’s a fractured person.) I’ve seen some later episodes by this point and Matteo seems like he’s really struggling with anxiety, like he just needs to escape sometimes, it all gets overwhelming.

The girl Jonas is dancing with kinda reminds me of Sonja (similar-ish haircut).

HOLY FUCK DID MATTEO JUST PUT THE WEED IN AMIRA’S BACKPACK???? Matteo, that is TOTALLY the worst an Isak has been about this, planting weed on on a person rather than a vase. I guess he assumes a Muslim girl in hijab seems like an unlikely candidate to have drugs, but ... dude. Asshole move. And I wouldn’t trust the authorities not to search the Muslim girl’s belongings for discriminatory reasons, anyway, which would have made it even worse.

Photoshop Markus is at this party and Matteo tells the cops Markus is the renter, LMAO GOD. Matteo is just snaking all over the place tonight. The cops tell everyone to turn the music down, which is pretty reasonable and not nearly as bad as them telling people to break up the party. Or maybe I’m just old. Carlos salutes as the cops leave, heh.

Amira just walks out with her backpack … and the weed. Lol, she might’ve just left because the cops showed up and she figured better to bail now, not wanting to get in trouble, or because she had a curfew or something, but part of me wants to believe she knew Matteo stuck weed in her backpack and she’s walking out to make him suffer. In that case: he deserves it, make him suffer.

Mia wasn’t at the party. I guess she and Alexander were making their own fun, but her presence is missed.

Clip 2 - Survival camp

Matteo’s new room is already a little messy, with beer bottles and remnants of the party. He wakes up and checks his phone, he’s got a Bible verse from mom. One that sounds normal and non-threatening enough, not like it’s about sin and hellfire, but you know. All religious texts are probably loaded coming from Matteo’s mom.

Matteo rolls over and Jonas is conked out in bed next to him. Oh nooooo, my heart. Matteo watches him and then reaches out and slooooowly lowers his hand to lightly touch Jonas’ curls, closing his eyes a little. GODDAMMIT.

If he doesn’t do this to Gereven at some point, touch his hair without having to be secretive about it, then I’m suing Druck.

You can tell Matteo is indulging in this fantasy that Jonas is his boyfriend and he’s waking up next to him, and the fantasy is broken when he looks down and sees that Jonas has a phone number with a little heart written on his arm. A girl. Jonas will never be his boyfriend.

Although I almost don’t think this is specifically about Matteo pining over Jonas - I think there’s definitely some lingering feelings, enough to be disappointed that Jonas might have a girl, but I also think it’s just the wish that Matteo can have this experience with a guy at all, he can wake up next to a boy who’s not just a friend, who he can touch and show affection to.

The fantasy is further interrupted when Hans walks in (the dreamy music cuts off) and Matteo rolls on his back like he’s totally not staring wistfully at Jonas. Hans throws himself on the bed between them in a perfect face plant, lmao.

Hans asks Matteo to buy rolls, saying Mia would’ve done that. Hans, if you are expecting Matteo to be a Mia substitute, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I don’t think Matteo will lovingly wipe your vomit off the tub. (I mean. Maybe when he falls in love and is in just that good of a mood.)

Jonas asks why Hans is in Matteo’s bed, and Hans says he could ask Jonas the same question (DAMN) but Jonas is like … I’ve waited for you. He and Hans stare into each other’s eyes. Lmao, the way their gaze holds without comment or them breaking it off. I’m sure Matteo just loves seeing them “flirt.” But I don’t think the fantasy of Jonas in his bed involves Hans, sorry Hans. Matteo gets up to buy rolls, just to get away from the JoHans lovefest, I guess.

Linn comes in and says she wants to make pancakes but doesn’t know where the pans are, and she doesn’t know how to make pancakes either. Everyone in this flat is screwed without Mia. But Jonas offers to make pancakes, so all is saved! Matteo grumpily leaves Jonas, Hans, and Linn to take a selfie of their “survival camp” to send to Mia, showing they’re totally making it on their own. They look so perky, heh. They won’t be so perky when Jonas leaves and takes his pancake-making skills with him.

Matteo steps outside and gets a text from Sara about whether he slept well. I feel bad for Sara. She’s not just the Emma equivalent, she’s a character we’ve seen in the past who has been entertaining and likable. I don’t want to see her either make Emma’s mistakes like outing Matteo OR get her heart broken by him.

Hans throws Matteo’s wallet out of the window, beaning him in the head, which is truly the perfect gif.

Clip 3 - Will you surrender?

Matteo goes into school on a rainy Monday morning. We start with some passionate straight kissing in the foreground, coupled with a pic and text from Sara, just to show the kind of shit Matteo is dealing with. A heterosexual assault from all angles.

He meets up with the boy squad. Jonas is looking to get with Linn’s friend, who is “Emma Watson but blonde.” Sucks for Matteo to hear yet more girl talk, and girl talk from Jonas specifically. The heterosexuality strikes from another corner.

Adding another unwanted conversation topic, Abdi asks about the weed. Matteo seems like he wants to get the hell out of there, so he bails and goes up to Hanna and Sam, asking where Amira is. She’s out sick, so solving the weed dilemma will have to wait another day.

Hanna glances over at Jonas, who finally seems to have snapped out of his S2 funk as he talks about his new girl … does Hanna know yet Jonas has a new flame? Or is she just suspicious?

Man, I keep saying it, but Matteo seems like he’s sleepwalking through life, like this kid is just. Legit depressed. He has no energy for anything. Not even to fake being OK.

Continuity snarl: Matteo puts up his hood as he rounds the corner after leaving the girls, but it’s down a moment later.

The music is kicking in and there’s still almost a minute of clip left, is Matteo going to like … literally run into Beanie Boy/Gereven?

YEP

Well, they didn’t do a rom-com Meet Cute collide into each other or anything, but they passed each other in the hallway! In slow motion!

The big moment: Matteo and Gereven are coming at each other from different sides (like different ~walks of life? ooooo). They lock eyes and then look back at each other once after they’ve passed.

The scene goes into slow motion as soon as Matteo lifts his head and sees Beanie Boy. Matteo is just ambling his way to class and meandering through life, but when he sees that guy, that’s when he starts to feel present in the world, like it’s not just around him but including him. And then Gereven comes into focus as they pass each other.

I adore the music choice for this moment. It’s beautiful, and the lyrics are so lovely. “Will you surrender?” when we see Gereven and Matteo looking at each other, because Matteo’s seeing the boy who will make him give in and stop hiding who he truly is, who will make him surrender to love. And I suspect the same is true for Gereven, that Matteo will make him surrender as will, let go of his fears.

So I reaaaaally don’t think Beanie Boy was trying to get Matteo’s attention like Even was. There’s nothing about it that suggests so. My prediction is that Beanie Boy, like Matteo was trying to keep his head down and get through life, and they just happened to walk by each other. I mean, Matteo’s just walking down a school hallway, it’s not like Beanie Boy parked his ass deliberately somewhere so Matteo could see him, he couldn’t predict Matteo was going to walk down that hallway at that particular time. I feel like Beanie Boy is very much like Matteo in that he’s lonely and an outsider. He’s not trying to attract attention, he’s not seen smiling or laughing at someone at the beginning. Our first glance at Even was his brightness. Our first glimpse of Gereven (from Matteo’s POV, not the brief moment of him last season which is more of an Easter egg, really) has him in dark clothes, headphones on. I feel like he and Matteo are just checked out of life. And I think that’ll be an interesting take on Even, not so much that Beanie Boy has Even’s confidence and swagger in drawing Matteo to him, but that Matteo and Gereven are both outsiders and recognize their loneliness in each other.

That’s what really makes me love this scene. It’s just a mundane occurrence. Two boys walking by each other. Something that happens all the time. Something that Matteo no doubt does every day, walk by other boys whose faces don’t register. But this time, there’s ... something. Physical attraction? Sure, that’s part of it. But even more I think it’s a sense of connection, something inexplicable that draws them to look back at each other even when the moment should have ended. A gut feeling that this person is also lost, that he would understand.

Clip 4 - Everyone’s favorite reluctant friendship begins

It’s the first remake to focus on the teacher’s nipples! Matteo is staring at them instead of listening to her talk about their exams.

Amira comes in and Matteo just gets up from where he was sitting and sits next to her while the teacher is talking. Lol, is that allowed? Is this a study session or something?

Amira coolly ignores Matteo even when he tries to get her attention. Eventually she says she found his weed and how fucked up it was for him to do that, she could have gotten in trouble. A bit of a change because Sana was upset that Isak almost fucked over Eva, causing a demonstration of Sana’s loyalty to her friends. With Amira, it was personal, a risk to herself. Matteo acts shitty too, he’s just like come on, it wasn’t personal, it wasn’t a big deal. Dude! If you want your weed back, that’s not the best course of action. You need to grovel.

The teacher calls on Matteo and Jonas shoots him an entertained look, like ha ha, you got in trouble. Or probably, more ha ha, check out our teacher’s nips. Nice display of Jonas going for that hetero bro bonding that Matteo would love to avoid.

LMAO, when Matteo asks for the week back and Amira says, “What will I get for it?” Matteo is like “IDK, blowjob?” THIS KID. His mind went to that, huh. Remember Even was all “yeah, we had to suck dicks” without two minutes of meeting Isak? And then later Eskild told Isak that talking about sucking dick when you meet someone is a sign someone’s gay? Yeah.

Amira says she’ll give the weed back if Matteo and his boys join the abi-prank committee. Didn’t they do that last season? The copies of the boobs and butts and Jonas’ dick, didn’t that count as the prank?

The teacher makes them study partners. So far, she’s not a racist, at least? Anyway, Amira and Matteo look positively thrilled to be paired together; meanwhile Jonas is flirting with his seat partner. Oh, maybe that’s what the Look was about. Matteo continues to be pelted with heterosexuality like rotten fruits and vegetables.

Clip 5 - Matteo gets a prom date

Matteo and Sara sit on opposite sides of the bed, texting their friends, on their phones. LMAO, sounds about right, tbh. Truly scorching chemistry. Nah, it’s very Isak and Eskild.

The boys’ group chat has Jonas saying he’s getting laid on Friday. That rotten hetero produce comes in the form of eggplant emojis. Matteo sure loves hearing about Jonas banging chicks! He’s like, yeah, I’m totally having sex with a girl as well.

Sara asks his opinion about a dress. Subtle (“subtle”) hint about the prom? Yes, as it turns out. But she suddenly leans over and kisses him after he’s like yeah, that looks nice. He looks as excited as you’d expect. He was actually staring into space before she did that.

Sara gets a text, Matteo wants to know what they’re talking about, and there’s some “flirting” until Sara caves and tells him that Leonie likes the new guy from their PE class. GEE I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE. Matteo offers to investigate for her. Yeah, I’ll bet he’s gonna enjoy that more than he knows. He’s going to become one of the Hardy Boys.

Sara somewhat nervously asks if they should go to prom together, and when Matteo is agrees, she asks whether they’re a thing. It makes me sad how clearly vulnerable she is right now, like she really likes him and is hoping to say yes, but she isn’t sure. Matteo says they’re a thing. Not conveying how utterly miserable this must make him, but not exactly jumping for joy, either. Like Isak tried hard to impress Emma, he could turn on the charm, but Matteo is just sleepy about it.

Sara kisses Matteo again, but before they go further, he asks if she wants to watch a movie with him. Smart move.

I’m sure Matteo will end up going to prom with Gereven. Sara and Leonie can go together? Realizing their love for each other at last. Or just as friends. (But preferably girlfriends.)

Clip 6 - Make a wish

Matteo goes to the abi-prank meeting, looking like he gives nary a fuck. Amira shoots him a nod and he gives her a “what more do you want from me” look. The girls are at the meeting, the rest of the boy squad is not, obviously. I see Photoshop Markus but not Beanie Boy.

All the girls are looking beautiful by the way. Look at Amira, she’s radiant!

Kiki literally goes Fight Club on this meeting. I have to say, if you asked me which Druck character would be a member of Fight Club, it would be Kiki. Her clumsy nervousness is a total front for bloodlust.

Matteo is being rude as hell just taking out his phone while Kiki is talking. The boys text why they aren’t there: Jonas has a date, Kiki is still mad at Carlos (dude, that’s why you need to come, it’s a way to get back on her good side) and Abdi just forgot.

They suggest a flash mob. Lmao, good luck getting Matteo to dance. Or they suggest just randomly hugging teachers. That could get all kinds of awkward, judging by the last teacher we saw with the power nipples. I’m just imagining some short kid going for a hug and getting their face mashed into the teacher’s areola.

Photosohp Markus has a suggestion. I love this dude, sorry. He loves hugging! He wants to practice with Kiki. Kiki realizes in an instant why the hugging prank might not be the best idea. But she’s like, we can group bond instead. Kiki wants everyone to hold hands and Matteo just peaces the fuck out. This prank meeting is pretty depressing, honestly. Way more so than kosegruppa. Kosegruppa might have been uncool or whatever but I got the sense the people involved enjoyed it. This meeting was just excruciating, and barely anyone is there. Look at that tiny circle.

Oh shit! As Matteo exits the room, Beanie Boy is going into it, and Matteo stops him. No, don’t go in there, it’s dangerous! Or actually it just sucks and they’re doing a trust circle where they hold hands. Beanie Boy obviously does not want to hold hands in that room, since Matteo is out here and not in there.

Aww, I love that Matteo has a slight smile? Just the tiniest when he talks to Beanie. Beanie is kinda doing the talking with his eyes, he’s definitely considering Matteo.

Shit, it’s Matteo who offers weed! Matteo is the one being the initiator! The bolder one. I love the idea of maybe having a shyer Even, like it does drastically change their dynamic, but I’m fine with that as long as the show does a thorough job of adapting their interactions, not just a cut and paste. Beanie Boy is the new kid and probably didn’t expect someone to make overtures of friendship (or more…).

And I love Matteo doing this when we’ve seen him sleepwalking through his interactions with Sara and … everyone else, kinda. He’s actually found some courage. Like he could have just let Beanie Boy go off and do his own thing, there was no real reason to offer a joint once he’d warned him off the meeting. But he somehow just felt the need to keep talking to this dude.

Holy fuck, MATTEO putting the joint behind his ear. This role reversal is so much fun already. And it’s even more amusing if you think that this is how some of Evak played out from Even’s POV? We thought Even was this charming, suave, mysterious dude when he stuck that joint behind his ear, because we were in Isak’s POV and Even was some handsome stranger. Later we realize what a huge dork Even is and that he was super desperate to get Isak’s attention and had been pining since the first day of school. So this is like how Even actually was - we know Matteo is a big dork and not a suave dude, but maybe that’s how he comes across in Beanie Boy’s eyes.

HIS NAME IS DAVID. A perfectly excellent name, tbh. I was worried they were going to call him something like Daniel or Noah, names that already exist in the Skam universe, which would be confusing as hell when those Noorhelm seasons are concurrently airing. “I can’t believe that thing Noah just did in this clip.” Uhhhh which Noah are you talking about, untagged post? Or God forbid, another Lucas, although David’s actor is named Lukas so I figured we would dodge that bullet.

Although it does occur to me that we have do have a David, the Skam France director, soooo … fuck.

I want to make a disclaimer: as fandom knows, David is played by a trans actor. There’s no guarantee that this character will be trans yet, but I think it’s unlikely that they won’t bring it up. The nature of this show seems like they’ll incorporate it into the story rather than let the opportunity pass to talk about trans issues, and I know that trans Druck fans campaigning for a trans Even had a ton to do with this decision, so I believe their input would weigh on the story itself beyond the casting. So I’m going to make speculation and comments with the assumption that David is trans and how that will affect the plot. There are things in this conversation that are potentially relevant to that, for instance. I don’t want to overstep, but I also don’t want to ignore moments of possible foreshadowing or pieces that might be relevant to his characterization.

So for instance, I don’t know if they have replaced Even being bipolar with David being trans. To be clear, NOT because being trans is a mental illness but more as an area of societal marginalization that the character has to deal with, that might be hidden from the other characters and the audience. We don’t know when we will learn that David is trans; while I write this we’re several episodes in, but I don’t know if we’ll learn three clips from now or three episodes from now. I don’t know if David will be trans and bipolar, or just one of the two. I don’t know if the reveal will end up being casual and non-dramatic, or if it will be a big thing like the end of episode 8. I have some guesses about where the story might go, but I’m keeping in mind that there’s a new element that none of the Evak seasons have tackled before, and that may cause big changes to the story.

Matteo asks David about being new so close to Abi, and David says he killed someone and had to go into hiding. That could be a reference to his dead name. I don’t know if that term is the same in German, but seems like a possible hint. He does say he killed his parents, but that’s after Matteo asks if he had stress with them, so he’s just riffing off what Matteo said. Or just the fact that when Matteo asks about him being new, David wants to know why - maybe he’s wondering if Matteo knows something or heard a rumor.

Isak asking about Even transferring in his final year got cut off because Emma showed up. Here Matteo just kinda accepts David’s joke and doesn’t question him further.

Matteo is super into him, of course. Look at that body language, he’s all angled toward David. David, too. Tarjei and Henrik had masterful body language so this is very promising.

David points out an eyelash on Matteo’s face and you fucking KNOW later in the season he probably won’t ask, he’ll just brush it off himself. Matteo is like, can I make a wish now? JFC, Matteo is flirting so much, he is intensely looking at David when he says that. Honestly, it’s really exciting to see this dynamic kinda flipped, mixing and matching Isak and Even elements between Matteo and David. David says it was just an eyelash. Maybe he’ll be more of the realist rather than the romantic? God, if Matteo is the more romantic one, I will lose my mind (in a good way).

David does ask what Matteo’s wish would have been, and Matteo is like, IDK, go on holiday or something. David says he knows the feeling and Matteo asks where he would go. Matteo would get in a car and just drive away. David says to go directly to Detroit. David, I’m fond of you already but unless your car turns into a submarine that is not gonna work.

David has been pretty chill so far, but he perks up and smiles when mentioning Detroit at the very end, so Matteo gets hit with the ray of charm. That’s when the music kicks in, too, because Matteo has seen David smile. No turning back now. I presume we are going to be hearing music from Detroit artists this season?

LMAO, I was like oh, Sara’s not there at the meeting so she can’t interrupt their moment, and yet SOMEHOW she managed to anyway. And she kisses Matteo so David knows Matteo has a girlfriend right off the bat. David takes this as his cue to exit.

Why was Sara there, anyway? Did she show up late for the Abi prank meeting? Didn’t she just do a big prank where she photocopied her boobs for the school to see? Or did she just know that’s where Matteo was headed tonight and she waited around for him?

For Matteo, Sara’s arrival cuts into this charged moment with David. With David, it’s a little less intense than Isak finding out about Sonja? Because he’s only shared a few minutes now with Matteo instead of stalking him for a week and then spending hours at his house, although obviously he could be crushing on him for a while already. Though personally I think they might eliminate that part of the story. Anyway, this is like … a spark of hope getting extinguished REALLY early and it makes me wonder how the rest of this story is gonna go. Matteo is the one with the girlfriend, the “obstacle.” Is he going to run hot and cold, go back to Sara after getting with David?

Matteo looks sad as David goes, obviously. Making it worse is that of course that’s the dude Leonie likes. Matteo takes a drag of the joint before replying that he thinks it’s somebody else. Well, David was someone somebody else liked (ahem), so I guess that does make him somebody else. But clearly David is going to be so much more to Matteo than just “dude Leonie likes.”

Anyway, I love how quiet and down to earth that scene was, how it wasn’t instant smiles and conversational bliss but a little rough, testing each other out. And I think it’s good that Matteo seems to be more proactive around David, because they both seem kinda like chill stoner/emo kids, and two sleepy guys is not going to be that exciting of a dynamic, honestly. Matteo being the instigator gives the story a fresh take, and the contrast between Matteo with David and Matteo with everyone else is really, really important. We can already see that David is the person, the one who makes Matteo slip into a different mode of his being, one that’s happier and more comfortable. The one who makes him wake up.

Social Media/General Comments:

Jonas says he’s better about the Hanna situation than he was before. We’ll see how long that lasts. I hope his S2 attitude leaves a trace this season, like it was such a big deal and had an affect on Matteo feeling adrift from his best friend, so it should play a role in their relationship.

Abdi refuses to get on Instagram, which is convenient for the show’s social media content creators, lol.

As explained in the texts, a pipe broke in the apartment, so Mia, Hans, and Linn had to move out, and Linn found them a new apartment but one with an extra room, so they needed another roommate fast. Mia suggested Matteo as she heard through the grapevine that he wanted to move out. It’s pretty sad because he was looking to leave, so we can assume things are very bad at home. At least it didn’t escalate to him sleeping in a basement.

I’m glad they found a way to move Matteo into the apartment neatly and quickly with the small gap between S2 and S3. I think Matteo living on his own is a pretty big contributor to his feelings of isolation and instability, and assuming Hans plays a similar role as Eskild with his “guru” advice, it helps a lot if they’re living under the same roof. However, it does create a different setup for the two, though, because Hans didn’t “rescue” Matteo like Eskild did with Isak. Living with Hans will give them more opportunities to bond than living apart would, but Hans didn’t nurture and shelter Matteo to the degree that Eskild did for Isak. Hans is like a new acquaintance, and it will take more effort to build them to a point where Matteo feels like he can trust Hans and go to him for advice. Unless it’s solely like “well, he’s the only other gay guy I know” which would be understandable but a bit underwhelming. Hans has a depressing family life, as shown in S2, with relatives who don’t accept his personality, to the point where he adopts a “straighter” persona to interact with them, and it would be amazing to bring in his background to the Pride clip.

LET’S GET SOME MIA/MATTEO CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEXUALITY GOING, TOO. They made Mia bi but many people think they could’ve done a better job of addressing it, so this is their chance! Don’t just sleep on it by following the OG story structure - make use of those changes.

The only non-confirmed LGBT person in the flat is Linn and you know, they could remedy that this season.

Linn apparently took care of a lot of the move, so that’s progress for her, she got something done for once, lol.

With the other girls, Hanna and Mia are furtive about why they don’t think it’s serious between Matteo and Sara. I love them for keep their mouths shut about his sexuality.

Seeing Matteo flirt with Sara and make plans to go to the movies with her has me yelling like I’m in the movie theater for a horror film. DON’T GO UPSTAIRS! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

There are pictures of Matteo and Amira looking smiley and happy because The Incident happens, heh. Matteo looks like he was having a decent time earlier in the evening and then descended into sadness and fatigue. And, you know, getting drunk and high.

Sara posts a pic with Leonie being like #theonewhounderstandsme and if that isn’t screaming for a Sara/Leonie endgame...

Linn super loves flamingos.

Kiki and Carlos fight because he was in the bathtub getting high and ignoring her texts.

Mia is absent a lot because she’s hanging with Alex, that’s why she missed the housewarming party. The girls miss her. Come back soon, Mia! Don’t just disappear because Noora went to London!

We got a sappy chat between Mia and Alex to remind us that they’re around, at least. Alex misses Mia even though she’s sitting across from him. I guess they’re in their little couple bubble now.

Matteo checks in with Amira and asks if she’s feeling better or still sick, and Amira’s answers make me suspect she knows exactly what bullshit Matteo pulled on Saturday.

When Matteo invited Sara to study at his place on Thursday, I found myself wishing that maybe Hans could save the day and just be so intrusive and annoying that he drove Sara away without Matteo having to make out with Sara or blow her off rudely or whatever. Alas.

I’m laughing how Markus is “Photoshop Markus” even in the group chat. No one else appears to have a nickname, just him.

Leonie and Sara chat; Leonie has her eye on Gereven and Sara is trying to figure out where she and Matteo stand as a couple. I’m really fond of them and I hope they don’t become Emma and Sonja, honestly. Again, just ... nip those relationships in the bud. Let them go to prom with each other, not the boys. Even if they aren’t together romantically, they seem to be the most important people in each other’s lives.

Matteo zips his lips when Jonas asks if he banged Sara, which conveniently doesn’t mean he has to say no. A very Isak technique.

Mia wasn’t in this episode at all, which is strange when she, you know, lives with Matteo and goes to school with him and we saw all the other girls. In-universe the explanation is that she’s with Alexander, but I wonder if they were filming parts of S2 at the same time, maybe? Reshoots? And that’s why we haven’t seen either Mia or Alexander, because the actors were busy. The other explanation is just that Mia is not here because Noora was not there, and Druck felt the need to follow that story. I’d find that really disappointing.

This is a really promising start to the season, and I already love the tone. It has a very down-to-earth, painfully vulnerable feel. Matteo’s misery is palpable in basically every scene, except the ones with David, where we get glimpses of his better self. I can sense this kid’s internal struggle all the time. There’s also pining and longing in the simplest moments, from Matteo brushing Jonas’ hair while he’s sleeping, to that one look in the hallway with David causing a spark, to the way they look at each other while smoking, David pointing out the eyelash on Matteo’s cheek. It’s quiet, raw, and real. And that is exactly the atmosphere I want from a S3 remake.

I’m not German so feel free to correct me on translations or cultural notes.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions #druck

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elle-stevens · 5 years ago

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The Break Up Blog - Day One Hundred and Forty Nine

My VPN is acting up again, so I’m blogging using my laptop tonight instead.

It’s been nice doing lots of typing on my laptop in recent days. My Cat and Robbie story is taking shape in a delightfully romantic way.

Who knew that Ariana Grande could be such a useful muse? I feel like a large portion of the world population could’ve clued me in on this fact a long time ago, hee hee.

Today was my last official day at my old job.

I took some time to walk around the school running track track and roam the hallways first thing in the morning. It felt surreal poking my head in through the doors of the homerooms where I taught so many of my students English, or tried to teach them at least.

I felt a bit like a ghost in a haunted house since most of the students are officially on holiday now and the classrooms were eerily empty.

After that, the day whizzed by with me helping C prepare some materials for her Murder/Detective winter vacation class. Lol, she’s really stoked about getting ready for police training when she goes back to the States in a month, so she’s turning her old students into miniature police detectives investigating crime scenes.

It’s an unusual concept for a children’s class, but I’m sure they’re having a blast learning new life skills from C. Plus, filling mini ziplock bags with powdered sugar and pretending it was cocaine was priceless!

When it finally came down to leaving, I went around my whole office to greet my colleagues one last time. It felt good to do that, even with my colleagues I barely interacted with for two years. I wanted all of them to know in some way that any help or kindness they gave me has always been greatly appreciated.

It felt nice showing a bit of my emotions at work and hugging my colleagues and exchanging Wechat contacts with a few of them. I hope they won’t forget me; I hope I won’t forget them either.

CI walked me out of school too because he didn’t want me to walk outside alone after saying goodbye to everyone, which was very thoughtful of him. And then he even hugged me goodbye outside the bus station near our respective homes, which surprised me in a good way. CI’s even more reserved than me and not big on expressing affection through physical contact. So I wasn’t planning to hug him goodbye today because I wanted to respect his personal boundaries. So it was nice that he broke his usual rules with me. Even though we only worked together for a year, I’m glad I met him. He’s such a great guy and become a good friend over time. I hope that he’ll still reach out whenever he needs help with stuff or just wants to chat. I’ll do my best to look out for him this year, especially with C heading back to the States. I’ll do the same with AS too since PE and his wife will be moving to the States too at the end of his work contract in August.

I went to the bank afterwards to withdraw some cash and just walked around near my neighbourhood for a bit. I felt pretty sad and lost after leaving my workplace. This is a new chapter in my life and I’m still not quite sure how to feel about it.

I got home and opened a gift and read a letter that one of my colleagues gave me yesterday. I just broke down and cried a for a while after that. The letter itself was simple enough, but the sentiment just wrung my insides out like a wet sponge. I sent some voice messages to other colleagues I didn’t get a chance to see before I left.

CH, G and D messaged me throughout the day, which was good too. I avoided messaging my loved ones all day because I was feeling emotional about my last day at work and wasn’t ready to delve into it just yet. But I’m glad they broke down my emotional barriers to check in on me. It’s nice to know that I have so many people in my life who are constantly looking out for me.

I sent H a voice message too even though we saw each other before we both left the office today. She left earlier than me because she had to go home and pack, she’s going back permanently to Korea. She’ll come back to China briefly next month, so hopefully we can have a meal or coffee together before she departs for good. I finally told her that X and I broke up and she was very sweet and encouraging about it, telling me I deserved better and that I’ll be ok in the end.

Even if I let H confirm her strange ‘Columbo-esque’ suspicions about my breakup bordering on practicing witchcraft (H legit guessed at all the right reasons why X and I broke up months when she gossipped about it with C without me telling her anything, it was freaky!), I feel ok about it now. I don’t want to hold onto any more bad feelings that happened at work, in either a professional or personal sense. I’m also glad I told H that she did a great job as our manager last year, even if it wasn’t always the case. I don’t want her to go away from our school feeling like she failed at managing all of us. She has a lot of good points and overall, she was still a great colleague to work with the past two years.

I also told PE and AS more about what went down with X. We ended up at a bar after having a farewell dinner for all the teachers leaving my school last night. I was intoxicated at that point and the three of us were talking about sex and relationships. They were very sympathetic and it meant a lot to get some things off my chest. Maybe by telling more people about what happened with X, I’m slowly freeing myself from the burden of carrying her haunting memory with me everywhere I go.

She’s invading less of my thoughts these days, especially when I’m feeling horny. That’s been very helpful not having X’s face pop into my head at awkward moments. I still think of her from time to time. It’s mostly negative thoughts about how much she sucks as a person. Other times, they’re sweet memories about little things she did that made me smile or made me happy in general.

She was my first properly long-term relationship; of course I’m going to carry her with me for a little while longer.

At least till I meet someone new that I love for a lot longer than X.

A part of me thinks that I’m ready to fall in love again.

But then I have moments like last night where I’m wandering around drunk in my city for the umpteenth time in 6 months and I feel like just another lost soul who doesn’t want to let love into my heart again.

My birthday is coming up next week and I’ve decided to have a simple birthday dinner with my friends on Saturday instead of Wednesday, which is when my real birthday happens. I’m still not ready to acknowledge the day, as shitty as that sounds.

It is pretty bad considering I’m lucky to be alive. Not in the sense that something bad happened to me and I almost died, but in the sense that it’s a blessing to live out a new day every single day. Instead I’m treating my birthday like it’s something horrible and disgusting, like it wasn’t one of the few things that my parents actually did right together as a couple.

Ok, that sounded so much weirder out of my head and in written form, but you all know what I mean.

My point is that I should be happier I get to celebrate another birthday. I’m being an idiot just because I’m turning 35, I’m single and living away from home while celebrating my birthday.

Hence why I’ll still celebrate my birthday with my friends, but maybe just have a ‘me’ day on my real birthday. And I can still call my family on my birthday and celebrate with them.

So yeah, I’m taking baby steps on the road to happiness and finding newer and healthier ways to deal with my issues. My therapist is out of commission these days because she has Stage 0 breast cancer and had surgery recently. So she’s recuperating at home and not seeing her patients till February so her medical insurance pays out as promised. That’s ok with me, I’m putting on my ‘big girl pants’ and trying not to need her for anything till I see her in person in February when I go home to see my family.

So in the meantime, I’ll try not to indulge in self-destructive behaviour from now on. After my birthday, I’m going to stave off drinking for a while too. I need to take better care of my health in light of my gastritis. I just hope I can get better medication to help me with my acid reflux and dry mouth in the future.

I made spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and slept for a few hours. Now I’m up blogging and chatting to different people through SNS. I have to get up early tomorrow to do a health check for my new Chinese work visa for this year.I hope everything goes well at the hospital since my Mandarin is still pretty shite. I hope I can get enough rest and hopefully take another nap tomorrow when I get back from the hospital.

What?

I have a month to myself before I visit my family in South Africa. I’m definitely going to celebrate that fact by catching up on sleep, my ever elusive friend.

I’m a bit too tired to type up more of my new story now, but I broke my 7-year streak of not writing fanfics at work this week. So in-between cleaning out my work cupboard and cleaning my work desk, I typed up my Cat and Robbie romance, tee hee.

Alright, time for bed. Sleep and peaceful thoughts are coming to me more easily these days now that I’m moving on gradually from all the bad shit that happened in 2019.

For now, things are good :-)

#breakupblog #dayonehundredandfortynine

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elssiie · 6 years ago

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Walk through the fire

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

You can also find the story in fanfiction.net

Strategist and priestess Lucy Heartfilia gets caught up in the turmoil of war. Torn between duty and love she must decide whether to follow her heart or mind because the destiny of two nations rests on her shoulders.

Chapter 5: Instinct

There is no instinct like that of the heart

Natsu was moving through the trees as fast as the forest let him. His men were far behind him but right now he couldn’t afford to wait for them. Fucking hell! That little witch had been giving him a massive headache for a while now. He seriously hadn’t needed Romeo to magically show up in the middle of the battle camp and put himself in danger like that. What was even going through the kid’s brain? Hey, I see a suspicious person walking into one of the most dangerous places in the empire. I’ll mention this to the nearest soldier and then indulge myself in an epic adventure following said suspicious person in the woods. Brilliant, Romeo. Just fucking brilliant.

Natsu stopped for a moment to sniff the air. The witch’s scent was anything but witch-like. Soft and clean, the smell of spring. It was too vivid, too strong. She and Romeo were close. He sprinted following their trails. There. Just behind those bushes. He could distinguish their voices now with his ultra-hearing. They sounded frightened. Then he felt the presence of other creatures. Shit! He quickly moved through the bushes and found them.

Just in time to see the deadly spear flying in the air straight towards Romeo. For one terrifying second Natsu froze, unable to say or do something. His eyes widened as he watched the strategist’s body blocking the spear’s path. A horrible, blood-chilling scream tore from her mouth as she crashed on the ground. He registered in the distance of his mind that the forest people were turning their attention to him, ready to take him down as well. He didn’t care. His vision was pure red. The usually calm and quiet fire in his chest was now blazing furiously. Red markings covered both his arms, neck and cheeks. His skin glowered in a faint gold color and he knew what his eyes looked like, what kind of effect they had on the enemies. The forest people screeched in despair, trying to quickly get away from him. He wouldn’t let them. The white hot fire covered his hands. Burn, motherfuckers.

The first thing Lucy noticed when she woke was that it was nice and warm. She strained her muscles in order to move but every single nerve in her back screamed in pain. Holy gods! What in the world was this pain?! She had been laying on her stomach probably for hours if she had to judge from the missing sensitivity in her arms and legs. She realized with horror that she was back in the tower. She was a prisoner again. Then she remembered the forest people and the hit she took. Ah. That’s why her shoulder hurt so much.

She had to get up. Lucy clenched her teeth and slowly, so very slowly pushed her body up. Gods, someone was tearing her skin apart! Piece by piece! Her arms trembled, too weak to do this kind of physical activity. She groaned as the pain became unbearable.

“No. no. Stop.” Big, warm palms dropped on her lower back and gently pushed her to the bed. “Stop.”

“I want to get up.” Her voice was rusty. It sounded too exhausted like she’d been screaming for a long time. Maybe she had but she couldn’t remember a single thing since she got unconscious in the forest.

“You need to lay down.” The male voice was coming somewhere above her head. The palm moved slightly up her spine, leaving behind a nice hot feeling.

“Please.” Lucy whispered. She didn’t really have the energy to explain how awful her limbs were feeling or how she wanted to at least see what was happening around her and not have her head on one side, leaving her defenseless.

For a moment he didn’t say anything so she thought he was ignoring her request but then strong arms wrapped around her stomach, his head briefly touched hers and he softly breathed out in her ear, “This is gonna hurt.”

She nodded.

He carefully started lifting her body while she desperately tried not to cry out. He helped her turn herself over and after another five agonizing minutes Lucy was finally sitting in her bed. She was panting, her eyes full of tears and her shoulder burning in agony but she was at least seeing the room.

She couldn’t believe it.

It was Dragneel who helped her. There was something different in his stare. A newfound spark she hadn’t seen before.

“What happened?” she asked.

“The forest people hit your shoulder with a wooden spear. You’re lucky they didn’t manage to hit your lungs or you’d be dead by now.”

“The boy… Romeo, is he okay?” The fear was evident in her voice.

He was contemplating her, sizing her up with his stare. “He’s fine. Just shaken up.”

Lucy exhaled shakily and closed her eyes.

“Pretty good idea, by the way.”

Her nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

“Saving a kid from my camp in hopes of getting away from torture.”

“What?” She asked flatly. Surely he wasn’t implying that…

He shrugged.

“I’m just saying it’s a good strategy. You knew I was going to find you so you decided to put the boy in harm, then getting injured while saving him. We both know I can’t afford to torture you right now cause there’s I high chance you’ll die in the process. It was reckless but in the end a pretty good idea that actually worked.”

She gaped. Was this guy for real? Oh, gods, he was. He was for real! Her anger bottled up in her throat. She wanted to smash his thick pink head with a table so hard!

“Wow. Are you that amazed that I figured you out?”

He laughed but there was a certain stillness to it. His whole body was tense. His eyes didn’t sparkle with their usual humor.

“How could you be so… aggh!” The sharp pain from her wound stopped her from punching him in the face.

“Hey, be careful.”

His hands flew towards her, probably to help her, but she was so done with him. Lucy smacked his palms and he blinked caught in surprise. Good. Let him be surprised.

“I had no idea where that bloody spear would hit me! I could have died on the spot! Yes, I would have done almost anything to get away from here, I did not want to betray my country but I would never -”, she was panting now. Her shoulder was killing her and she was pretty sure her wound opened up but she was so angry. “I would never bet the life of an innocent person just to save my own! For you to think I would do that to a little kid is beyond me! Making up that kind of twisted story truly tells terrible things but not about me. It’s about you! Don’t you dare say such bullshit like that to my face again!”

And she was even swearing now. She hadn’t done that in years. He really pissed her off.

Warm streaks of blood fell down her back. Suddenly her head felt too heavy and dizzy. Dragneel, who’d been in total shock until now, quickly shook off his mixed feelings and called for the doctor. Seconds later a middle aged man came in, saw her condition and heavily scolded the General. While the doctor started changing the bandage he asked why the wound opened up again. For the first time since Lucy knew him Natsu Dragneel kept his mouth shut and didn’t fire with a smartass comment. Well, then she’ll answer it.

“He was being a jerk.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Natsu’s body cringe. Dull, unpleasant pain hit her head and she groaned. Her forehead and neck were sweaty. She couldn’t even keep her eyelids open any longer. She was just so, so tired. Everything hurt.

“What’s wrong with her?”

Did she imagine it or Dragneel sounded genuinely concerned?

Ah, never mind. She just wanted to sleep.

“A fever, I believe.” The doctor almost growled. “Her body is weakened not only because of the blood loss but also because of the intense pain she feels. Opening up her wound isn’t helping her either, General! I will give her some strong herbs but they will keep her dizzy. General, with all due respect, I will ask you to leave the girl alone for some time, at least until she recovers from the fever.”

Natsu nodded. He couldn’t tear his gaze from her tormented expression. He thought about her stubbornness and wills to fight, how brave and strong she’d been. Now she was laying completely powerless and shaken up by the pain. Something sickening curled up in his chest. It was awful, this feeling, whatever it was. His eyes traced the sensual shape of her eyebrows down to her feverish cheeks and stopped at the sight of her slightly opened lips, out of which painful sounds were coming. Her shoulder and half her back were completely exposed to him, revealing soft milky skin, delicate curves. She was so small, so fragile. Why the hell would he think about torturing this creature which was about to break any moment?

“General! You are only making my job harder! Please, leave immediately!”

The shout broke the strange trance Natsu had fallen into. He sharply turned and flew out of the room before he did something. Before he did what exactly?! Godsdammit, he was such a mess. That woman was truly a witch. What had she done to him?

“Why are you frowning at the air?”

Natsu almost jumped. Almost. Gajeel always showed up at the best of moments. He hadn’t heard him approach which was kind of strange. But this whole day was just fucking over the scale of strangeness.

“How is the strategist?” He just had to ask about her, didn’t he.

“She is…” Natsu clenched his fists, then deeply exhaled. Hot gray smoke came out of his nostrils and that glowing, heavy feeling in his chest started fading. His rhythm slowed down until only the familiar quiet but tense fire in his heart was left.

“That thing with the smoke is still as freaky as I remember it.”

Gajeel was giving him one of his worried stares again. He knew something was off. But Natsu would never admit to anyone how thrown off he felt. Instead he asked, “Where’s Romeo?”

“With Sting and Rogue. You know, that whole lecture you gave really upset him.”

“Yeah, well, he deserved it. That brat isn’t going to pull a stunt like this again in the near future. I almost had a heart attack because of him.”

“Natsu Dragneel and his lectures on responsibility. I’d never even thought you had that word in your limited vocabulary.”

“Very funny. I’m dying from laughter here.”

Gajeel was waiting for Natsu to spill the beans. But Natsu had a dignity to keep. He just passed by him and said in a nonchalant voice, “The strategist has a fever so I left her with my personal doctor to look after her. We’ll have to wait for her to get better.”

Yeah, Gajeel was seeing right through his bullshit but thank the gods, he wasn’t feeling asshol-ish enough to mention it. Natsu would take what he could get. He needed some time, to cool his head and heart down. So he forced himself to smirk lazily at his cousin and walked away.

#fairy tail #nalu #nalu fanfiction #nalu fanfic #fairy tail fanfiction #nalu and lucy #fairy tail fanfic #natsu and lucy fanfiction #ft fanfic #fairy tail anime #fairy tail manga #fairy tail au #fairy tail writing #nalu writing #my writing #walk through the fire #wttf

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zimniysoldat-fiction · 7 years ago

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Across the Universes; Painted Red

Summary: S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, and close friend of the Sorcerer Supreme, Tazia Cozier, is inadvertently sent to a different universe where nothing is the same. To get his friend back, Dr. Strange sends the Winter Soldier across universes to find her and bring her home.

Warnings and Ratings: mild violence and language

Author’s Note: What to say about this part? Uh. I obliterated Tazia’s back story and gave her an entirely new origin story, so I had to completely rewrite this part over the weekend? Which meant completely rewriting the next two parts. Which means I’ve been doing a lot of writing. And a lot of gawking at Jason Todd

Also, images found via Google Image Search. Credit where it is due, text added by me.

Series Masterlist

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had a firm grip on each of the Red Hood’s biceps, and that grip only got firmer the more he tried to struggle. His heart was racing with rage and fear, he was caught and he couldn’t rely on anyone to come to his rescue. All he could do was watch the psycho play with his bloodstained crowbar. Sometimes the solo gig really sucked.

His skin wasn’t just deathly pale, it was white. Borderline translucent. It was unnatural. Disgusting. His fingers were long and slender, the chipped black polish on his nails lent to their feminine silhouette. In fact, that’s usually what caused people to underestimate him. He was lanky, he looked delicate. Freaky, but delicate. But he was psychotic. Deranged.

Unhinged.

Both of those white hands gripped the crowbar like a baseball bat and he swung it like one. Aimed straight at Red Hood’s knees. The sound his knees made buckling at the impact was more nauseating than the actual pain it created.

“YOU SON OF A-” Hood hollered.

“Please don’t say ‘bitch’ it’s just so boring,” he lamented, “at least say something funny!”

“Fuck you!”

“That’s not funny.” he frowned; hearing movement nearby he barked at Dee. “Go kill whatever that is.”

The bricks crumbled with the velocity of Tazia’s body, leaving an impact crater while she fell with the debris, her tailbone colliding with the pavement with a hollow thud. She felt like every fibre of her being had been shredded and torn apart, only to be put back together by an amateur puzzle enthusiast. It felt wrong. Painful. Whatever Mordo did to her, it hurt. A lot.

“Pretty lady shouldn’t be here.” Dee stumbled over his words, but his grip on his gun was steadfast.

“It’s rude to point a gun at a lady.” she had to fight to get the words out as she struggled to get to her feet.

“Boss said kill whatever made noise.”

“Oh?” she needed to catch her breath, if she was going to fight, she needed to focus.

Focus on the fight, on the way her muscles worked, where they flowed easily and where they resisted her push. She needed to focus on the task at hand and push the pain out of her mind.

She needed to catch her breath.

Quickly, she swung her leg around, pushing Dee’s feet out from under him, sending him backward. But she didn’t let him fall. She caught him. Jumping to her feet, she hooked her arm around his neck. and squeezed. She tightened her grip. Bit by bit. Struggling against the increasingly dead weight, she focused, still tightening the stranglehold she had on him. Until he was out.

Tazia had to use all of her strength to simultaneously let Dee down to the ground and catch his gun without making noise. Not yet anyway.

The poor fool still had the safety on his gun. She examined its metalwork, admiring its craftsmanship and wondering at its unfamiliar design. She gave the gun a quick once over, checking the barrel, chamber, magazine, and frame. Making sure everything worked as it should. Sliding the magazine back into the grip, taking the safety off and using the sight to take aim.

And then she pulled the trigger.

The sound of the gunshot echoed through the alley while Tazia walked quickly towards the other commotion. Her movements were quieter than those of a scurrying mouse, allowing for her to listen to what was happening. Allowing her to calculate her approach.

“You think you can take control of Gotham’s underworld?” his voice was theatrical but grating. “That is one great…ly underwhelming joke. How unfortunate.”

“Screw you, Joker.” Red Hood sneered.

“Let’s see who’s under that hood, shall we? You know, I was once the Red Hood. Or did I once kill the Red Hood? Ha! Who cares?” the Joker cackled.

“I think I do.” Tazia interrupted, the muzzle of her gun pointed at the Joker’s head. “Let the red guy go and maybe I won’t kill you.”

The Joker burst out in hysterical laughter, clutching at his abdomen. Tazia allowed him this indulgence, watching the peculiar way his borderline fluorescent green hair bounced, almost as though it were dancing to the tune of his laughter. At least she let him indulge his laughter until she got bored, pulling the trigger.

She could have killed him, sure. If she wanted to, she could have put the bullet in his left pupil. But she didn’t. No, this was just a warning shot. This shot only grazed the side of his head, trimming a few strands of the neon hair and removing the top of his ear.

Within seconds of that shot, Tazia fired another. Without taking her eyes off Joker, she shot Dum in the knee, allowing Red Hood to get back to his feet.

“You shot me!” Joker chuckled, “you actually shot me.”

“You didn’t let him go,” she shrugged.

“Come, dummy, get your brother.” Joker frowned. “We’re leaving now.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Joker.” Red Hood bellowed.

“What’s wrong with your pretty little girlfriend?”

Tazia had collapsed against the side of the building, having exhausted herself. She could no longer focus, no longer ignore the agony coursing through her body.

Red Hood took his eyes off of the Joker in order to check on the woman who had saved his life. It was all the Joker needed to slip away.

For a moment, Red Hood hesitated, debating whether he should chase the villain or save the girl.

He decided to save the girl.

TAGS: @oneshot-shit; @thevanishedillusion; @lanceismyspaceson2k17

#across the universes #painted red #fan fiction #marvel #dc #dr strange #iron man #winter soldier #avengers #batman #red hood #joker #bat family #stephen strange #tony stark #bucky barnes #bruce wayne #jason todd

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pseudorganized · 8 years ago

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My Best Friend's Wedding

Summary: Satsuki is getting married and Daiki is dragged in to help. And well, you know weddings. They tend to catch you off guard with thoughts about the future and the possibilities it brings. Meanwhile, Ryouta just thinks Daiki will make the best "Maid" of Honor ever.

Characters/Pairings: Aomine Daiki, Kise Ryouta, Momoi Satsuki, Kagami Taiga, Kuroko Tetsuya, Akashi Seijuuro, Momoi’s Boyfriend, AoKise, Momoi/Undisclosed Boyfriend

Notes: For Cassie because we encourage each other to write when we can. :3 And hi, everyone else! I'm back with something new and troublesome. This sat in my Google Drive for a long time and I am just glad to have finished it. It could be better, definitely, but sometimes you just need to toss it out and have it done and dusted. Maybe I'll come back and edit it some day but for now, here, have some wedding shenanigans. P.S. This is very self indulgent so there would most probably be stuff that's inconsistent or outright wrong. I've been to a couple of weddings and was actually a bridesmaid once so. I was pretty much getting stuff from my own experiences and stories, movies, etc.

Also available over at AO3.

“So, what’s up?” Daiki asked after he and Satsuki found their seats in the restaurant his childhood friend had invited him out to, “and tell me you’re actually paying for this.”

It wasn’t the first time Satsuki had dragged him into this restaurant. It was some kind of Japanese fusion place that was somehow popular with girls. Maybe it was the cafe-like atmosphere and the fusion food. Daiki wasn’t really a fan; the food was expensive and the servings were tiny though Satsuki would tell him that most restaurants’ servings were small for him. And there was the fact that Satsuki always made him pay.

Satsuki just sighed and somehow looked suspiciously less annoyed-looking than she usually would have been whenever Daiki so bluntly pointed out who was going to foot the bill. Looking back later, Daiki would probably think that was the first sign but at the present, he was counting his lucky stars that Satsuki seemed happy enough to pay for her own damn meal (and his) for once.

“I invited you out, Dai-chan, so yes. I’m paying.”

“Good,” Daiki acknowledged with a nod. “So what’s the occasion?”

Satsuki looked at him all bright-eyed and pink-cheeked; it was kind of freaky. “Can’t I just take out my oldest friend for a nice lunch?”

Daiki stared. “Are you pregnant?”

“Dai-chan!” She slapped him on the arm, her cheeks flaring with both shock and embarrassment. “No! Why would you even think--”

“Because then maybe I’d have an excuse to actually punch that guy in the face.”

Satsuki rolled her eyes at him. “You are not punching my boyfriend. When are you getting over the fact that he is perfect and amazing?”

“And that’s not suspicious at all,” he muttered as he reached for the little Specials Menu at the center of the table to do something with his hands.

Satsuki just watched him, smiling. “I know you like him, though. No matter how much you say you don’t.”

Daiki didn’t bother saying anything about that because he hated to admit it but Satsuki’s boyfriend was actually more than okay for her. He just didn’t want to openly acknowledge that fact because, well. No one would ever be good enough for Satsuki. No one.

“But he is part of why I took you here today,” Satsuki continued after a short moment of comfortable silence.

Daiki actually bothered to look around. “So where is he?”

“He’s at work and I told him that I’d break the news to you myself.”

He stopped fiddling with the Specials Menu and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at a still too-happy-looking Satsuki. “What did he do?”

Satsuki was unfazed by that frown on his face that could have sent lesser men cowering. “Nothing awful. I promise.”

“Well, what is it?”

Daiki looked at his childhood friend, the one who was actually the best friend he had ever had, and tried to see for any signs that this was actually bad despite what she said. If she was trying to bullshit him, he’d know. He was a bit disappointed but a lot more relieved to find her still smiling at him, looking very serene actually. It was still kind of suspicious.

He almost jumped when she put her hand over his.

“Dai-chan.”

He did his best to look Satsuki straight in the eye. “What?”

Satsuki’s grip on his hand tightened, like she was bracing herself, and Daiki should’ve probably been more scared, not confused, at that look on her face. He couldn’t tell what it was but if anything, she didn’t look upset. Not at all. Far from it.

“Dai-chan.”

“Yeah, Satsuki?”

She smiled and her eyes were shining and her lips were trembling and Daiki felt that teeny bit of fear turn into outright panic because Oh my God. She was fucking pregnant--

“I’m engaged.”

“Momocchi! Congratulations!”

Ryouta was in their bedroom talking on his phone and of course he had to scream into it. Daiki was used to it. After years of living with the loud blond, it was hard not to be. Besides, Ryouta had reason to scream. He had just found out that one of his closest friends was going to get married.

“Daiki just told me!” the model gushed and Daiki felt the usual urge to roll his eyes coming along but stopped himself, “I wish I was there too when you told him because Momocchi! This is huge!”

Daiki had made himself comfortable on their bed. He was so ready to sleep already but the lights were still on and Ryouta was talking on the phone and walking around, unable to contain his excitement. Ryouta was dressed in one of Daiki’s old sweatshirts and one of those weird pajama pants of his. Tonight, they were purple with a pattern of yellow chicks. Overall, he was doing a good job of distracting Daiki from sleep.

“--I’m so sorry for calling so late but I’m just so happy for you! Let’s have lunch soon, okay? I wanna hear all about the proposal. I’m sure it was amazing…” Ryouta had finally paused before the bed, eyes not really looking at anything but smiling so softly and happily. Daiki was pretty sure he had some tears in his eyes.

“I love you, Momocchi. Goodnight. Let me know when we can meet up, okay? Bye!”

Ryouta ended the call and let out a deep sigh. Daiki watched quietly as he looked at his phone with that same soft fondness before finally looking up to meet Daiki’s eyes. And Daiki’s heart honest to God fluttered. There was no other word for it. Daiki knew that look of pure joy wasn’t for him exactly but it sure felt like it when Ryouta looked at him like that.

It was almost like a relief when Ryouta put his phone away and crawled into his arms. Daiki held him over his chest, put him over his heart where he belonged. Sometimes, it still staggered him how much he could love someone else like this. Just one look and he became unsteady.

“Momocchi’s getting married,” Ryouta whispered softly moments later, the smile and wonder on his face clear in the tone of his voice.

“Yeah,” Daiki breathed and some of that pressure in his chest eased. He lifted a hand and gently started to stroke Ryouta’s hair. His hair was as soft and silky as always, a great comfort to the touch.

Ryouta snuggled in closer. “I’m so happy for her…”

“I know…”

“Hey, Daiki.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to be Momocchi’s Maid of Honor?”

Daiki paused. He stared down at Ryouta and in return, Ryouta had his face tilted up, looking right back with wide, golden, guileless eyes and an innocent smile.

A frown. “What?”

“It would make sense, right?” Ryouta continued in the same quiet tone, even nuzzling in affectionately into the crook of Daiki’s throat and shoulder all cozily. “You’re her oldest friend and we know Daiki looks so good in a dress.”

Ryouta had started to lightly run fingertips along his chest, the motions gentle and soothing like they were just talking about quiet, unassuming things and not about dresses and Daiki wearing them.

Daiki was still staring at Ryouta, giving him a look.

The blond menace caught the look and returned it with the same expression of sweet innocence.

Ryouta’s all-too wary boyfriend was not fooled one bit.

“I am not wearing a dress.”

Ryouta just grinned.

Yes, this was the little shit Daiki was head over heels in love with.

Lucky him.

“I’m not gonna be your Maid of Honor.”

Satsuki barely looked up at him as she went through another one of her notebooks. Planning for the wedding was well on its way and Satsuki was of course in the thick of it. Should it be surprising that Satsuki was a hands-on bride? Daiki wouldn’t be shocked if she already had the bare bones of this wedding figured out after her relationship with her then-boyfriend-now-fiance reached the one year mark.

Or even earlier, if the crap they say on TV about little girls and their dolls could be believed. Daiki had no idea; Satsuki didn’t play her dolls with him. Much.

“Of course not, Dai-chan,” she told him patiently but also distractedly, “you’re my Man of Honor.”

Daiki would have groaned and put his head over the table were they still in Middle School but they were adults now and Daiki had grown up some. Instead, he just groaned and looked down grumpily at the cup of black coffee he had in front of him. The cup was tiny. He should have known he was going to be dining in more girly places with tiny servings because of this wedding.

“Couldn’t one of your girl friends do it?”

Satsuki sighed, rolling her eyes and finally looked at him to send him a very familiar look that said he was so, so stupid. “They could, but of course the question is, ‘Who is it going to be?’ And Dai-chan, believe me--” She looked him dead in the eye. “--No one wants to be in the middle of that kind of drama.”

The severe look in Satsuki’s eyes almost made Daiki shudder.

Drama.

Right.

Why do girls have to put up so much fuss and make things complicated?

“You should just make them fight for it,” Daiki suggested as he stole another one of Satsuki’s tiny tea sandwiches from her plate. “Strip them down to swimsuits. Put them in a ring, toss up between mud or oil to make it difficult. First blood wins…”

He gave Satsuki an approving thumbs up. “Profit.”

Satsuki was giving him one of her judging looks again and he was just steadily ignoring her as always. The little tea sandwiches were good. Why did they just have to be so tiny?

“You’ll understand when it’s your wedding you’re planning out,” Satsuki said to him before turning back to her notes and slapping his hand away from stealing more of her sandwiches.

“Are you having those in the wedding?” Daiki asked hopefully even if his hand stung a bit from the well-aimed slap.

Satsuki sighed but took note that “Dai-chan really liked the egg salad and cucumber sandwiches”.

“You are totally the Maid of Honor.”

“What. The. Fuck.” Daiki narrowed his eyes at Kagami. He wondered for the nth time why he was even out with him that night at all.

Something to do with not wanting to look at any more wedding souvenir samples. How much tiny, girly, breakable shit does he have to put up with for this wedding?

“Will Aomine-kun be wearing a dress again? I haven’t shown you the pictures, Kagami-kun, but Aomine-kun does carry a dress well.”

And also Tetsu. Tetsu and Kagami came in a set nowadays; Daiki frankly thought it was disgusting even after all these years.

Kagami had the nerve to shudder. “Nah, no thanks. I think I’d like to keep the nightmare fodder to a minimum if I could and Ahomine in a dress? No thank you.”

Tetsu just had his usual innocent-looking smile on his face like he wasn’t unearthing some very awful, terrible Middle School memories. “That was a fun day.”

“Easy for you to say,” Daiki muttered with a glare, “Akashi was wearing a dress instead of you.”

Kagami almost choked on his Coke. “Akashi in a dress--Okay! No more fucked up Teikou memories! Thank! You!”

Thankfully, Tetsu took that as his cue to switch to another topic. Or rather, back to the original topic of their conversation. “Do you have any particular tasks as the Maid of Honor, Aomine-kun?”

Daiki frowned at him. “Basically I just gotta make sure Satsuki doesn’t have a breakdown over all the details. You won’t believe all the fucking stuff she has to do… There’s also the food. It’s my duty to make sure the food’s good. And I am not the Maid of Honor.”

“Yes, you are,” Kagami giggled because that was totally what he did.

Daiki threw a french fry at him. “No, I’m not.”

“Please take care of Momoi-san, Aomine-kun.” Tetsu said over the ruckus, smiling in that small, soft way that always meant he was happy. Happy for Satsuki for getting married. Happy for him because he was helping out.

“Don’t I always?”

“So I guess this is good practice for you, huh?” Kagami suddenly asked.

Daiki stared at him. “Practice for what?”

“Well, you know,” Kagami started with a shrug, “I know you and Kise can’t really get married here right now but in the future, you could have a ceremony or something just to make things kinda official…”

Kagami trailed off because now even Tetsu was staring at him.

“...What?”

“Have you been thinking of getting married, Kagami-kun?” Tetsu asked, straightforward as always, but though he was staring piercingly at Kagami, there was a suspicious red flush creeping up his face.

Kagami’s face blossomed red like a tomato. “Well, I! I mean, not anytime soon! But--!” he sputtered, almost flailing at the spot and seemingly couldn’t look Tetsu in the eye.

His boyfriend just kept on staring at him like he held all the answers of the universe.

“...Fuck, Kuroko,” Kagami mumbled, avoiding looking at him and clumsily picking at his burger. “You don’t think I’m just with you and not thinking about the future and shit, right?”

Tetsu just stared at him for a bit before moving to put his hand over one of Kagami’s. That soft, happy smile had returned to Tetsu’s face and just grew a little when Kagami turned his hand up to tangle their fingers.

“I can’t say I’m that surprised that you thought about it first, to be honest.”

Kagami still won’t look at him but he seemed happy, the sides of his lips lifting while he squeezed at Tetsu’s hand.

They both looked happy, trapped in a happy bubble.

And beside them, Daiki just wanted to lurch to the side and throw up.

Gross.

The tuxedo was finer and more tailored than anything he would normally wear. It was also tighter around places he’d really prefer his clothes not to be and it was restricting, annoying. Plus he looked like a goddamned penguin.

Daiki grimaced and tugged at the tightly knotted bow tie at his neck. He really hated ties of any kind.

The gasp that came from behind him made him instinctively turn and he almost cringed at the teary-eyed look Ryouta was giving him.

“Are you ever gonna stop crying today?” He grumbled but gently because he wasn’t really annoyed. He was used to Ryouta being dramatic and emotional and it was his schtick to be grumpy about it. Besides, it was the first time Ryouta was able to come for any of the activities related to Satsuki’s wedding preparations so it was expected that he was especially emotional.

Ryouta made a pouty face at him before coming closer and snuggling onto his back, chin resting lightly over his shoulder.

“Daiki is awful,” Ryouta sulked even as his eyes took in their reflection, Daiki in his tuxedo and Ryouta with his arms around him, “even when he’s looking so handsome! So cruel!”

“Shut up,” Daiki muttered gruffly even as he turned his head a little to gently brush a bit of a kiss by Ryouta’s cheekbone instead of the usual forehead flick.

Ryouta hummed at that, smiling a little at the kiss, and just made himself more comfortable as he snuggled in a bit more tightly. He continued drinking in their reflection, amber eyes lingering on the handsome picture Daiki made.

Despite the discomfort, Daiki had to admit he looked pretty good.

“Are you comfortable?” Ryouta asked, “I mean, it isn’t too tight anywhere?”

Daiki tried to shrug. “Kinda tight around the shoulders.”

“Daiki’s shoulders are just all muscled.”

“Are you saying that’s a bad thing? I thought you liked my shoulders.”

“There better be no funny business in the dressing rooms from you two today, okay?”

They both turned at Satsuki’s voice and found her looking at them with a slightly exasperated look on her face. Satsuki had bags under her eyes and her usually brushed and shiny hair looked a bit frazzled. She looked harassed but that wasn’t anything new nowadays.

Undeterred, because he was a little shit, Ryouta snuggled in even more as he flashed her a bright but obviously teasing grin. “But Daiki looks so good, Momocchi! How am I to resist?”

Daiki’s look at Ryouta was unamused. “You are not fucking me in this penguin suit.”

And Satsuki held her face in her hands and looked like she was trying not to scream as Ryouta just burst out laughing.

Daiki knew Satsuki’s stress levels were at an all-time high as the wedding date was steadily getting closer and there was still so much to be done. Still, it was mildly terrifying when she gathered herself up, looked at them oh so calmly and said,

“Just you two wait.”

“Thank you for bringing the invitation yourself, Aomine, and please also thank Momoi for me for sending over the cheese tart. She didn’t have to bother,” Akashi said as they sat down for tea in one of the many sitting rooms in the Akashis’ huge mansion. Ever the gracious host, he poured the tea and sliced the tart himself, serving Daiki who tried not to fidget against all the elegant luxury surrounding him. Daiki had thought Akashi would have had a couple of maids doing the tea serving and tart cutting instead.

Most of the invitations for the wedding were sent by mail but for special people, like Akashi, they were hand carried and Daiki decided to do his poor, harassed childhood friend a favor. Akashi was in town nowadays anyway so it wasn’t going to be hard. But yeah, Satsuki didn’t have to send over the tart with the invitation but what can you do? Akashi was just that special apparently. The cheese tart was good, though.

Red eyes fixed on him as Akashi continued, “I do hope Momoi isn’t working herself too hard.”

Daiki sighed, “You know how she is…”

Akashi nodded because of course he knew. “Please continue on taking care of her.”

“Yeah…”

They sipped their tea.

“How about you, Aomine? How have you and Kise been?” Akashi inquired though Daiki still felt he already knew and was just being polite.

“We’re fine. Kise’s got a new ad coming out and it’s off season so…”

“You have been together a while.”

“A couple of years, yeah.”

“And you two are very happy.”

“Yeah…”

Somehow, Daiki had a feeling that he had been having this same kind of conversation for a while now and he didn’t know why though he felt like he should. He just had this sense that Akashi was trying to tell him something but Akashi being Akashi, he didn’t lay it all out before him and instead left him with something to chew on for a while until he figured it out himself. Because every move Akashi made was deliberate and Daiki was not stupid when it came to Akashi and how he managed them. Really, the Captain of the Generation of Miracles hadn’t changed that much through the years.

He and Akashi were never actually particularly close or chatty so it wasn’t long before Daiki made his excuses and Akashi saw him to the door.

“Please send my regards to Kise,” Akashi said to him in goodbye, a slight smile playing on his lips as he does like he knew something Daiki didn’t (which would not be a surprise at all). “I look forward to new developments soon.”

Of course he was.

Satsuki, just like any enthusiastic bride, had a rather expansive and detailed wedding registry and for that, Daiki was... Well, it was sort of a relief she had one because then he didn’t have to be burdened with actually going around hunting for a gift. Granted, he got strong-armed into spending too much money on some kind of food processing thing (God forbid he was actually encouraging Satsuki to cook something) but at least that was another task done for the wedding.

He should have known his involvement with getting wedding gifts was not yet over. He thought it was done after his own mother practically went to war with one of Satsuki’s aunts over the most perfect sets of dinnerware and he had to… Yeah, that was a nightmare. He was glad that was over but apparently he had more struggles to get past.

Ryouta had that determined look on his face that reminded Daiki of old high-stakes basketball games and it should have been hot but Daiki wasn’t exactly in a sexy kind of mood right then. Not when Ryouta had him by the wrist and was dragging him through a part of the mall that he had seen too much of for the past week or so. Daiki wanted to shake him off because no. Why were they here? He was just here the other day with all the monstrous selections of kitchen appliances and cutlery and what have you and he was pretty sure his bank account still felt the dent he regretfully bashed into it because Satsuki was relentless and thought he was made of money or something.

“You know Satsuki has a wedding registry, right?” Daiki knew Ryouta knew but if he could wheedle his way out of another shopping trip, he would ask again in the hope that Ryouta would reconsider.

“Yes,” Ryouta replied, barely sparing him a glance over his shoulder, “but none of them are what I want to give Momocchi and her husband-to-be.”

Daiki sighed and didn’t even bother masking his exasperation. “You’re not the one who’s gonna be receiving the damned gift...”

“Momocchi knows I have taste, Daiki,” Ryouta put in matter of factly and Daiki purposefully ignored the feeling that Ryouta thought he didn’t have taste, “she’ll like what I’ll give her.”

And then Ryouta flashed him that bright, dazzling smile. “I just need to find what that gift is.”

It really wasn’t fair when Ryouta smiled at him like that, like he had no idea what it was like for Daiki when he did that to him. Daiki didn’t like shopping for the most part and would rather not be dragged around for hours in a mall but here he was and a smile was enough to make him feel less irritated and a bit more patient. Just because of a beautiful smile from this annoying, determined person he shared most everything with. God he was such a sap.

“...Please tell me you have at least some idea of what kind of gift you want to get.”

Ryouta’s smile turned cheeky as he tugged Daiki away from the current section of the mall they were at. “No kitchen appliances.”

Daiki wanted to hit him and he tried but Ryouta expected it and ducked in time, laughing.

And he still held on to Daiki’s wrist. Eventually, Daiki himself shifted his fingers and tangled their hands together. Ryouta’s hold was loose but warm.

“Don’t worry, Daiki. I know where to go.” More cheery smiles and a bit of a swing of their linked hands.

Barely noticing it, Daiki squeezed Ryouta’s hand in response.

“Fine but don’t take too long looking around.”

“I’ll treat you to dinner!”

“No salads.”

Ryouta’s laugh was musical and did funny things to Daiki’s heart like it always did and when Ryouta magnanimously agreed to his condition, Daiki braced himself for two, if not three, hours of mind-numbing waiting while Ryouta browsed and deliberated among the many options he was faced with.

The things he did for Ryouta, really.

(It was like they were already married or something.)

“I’m gonna get more snacks!” Ryouta piped up, bouncing up on his feet and running off to the kitchen. He was a bright yellow blur as he sped out of their living room and Daiki almost felt tired watching him go.

“Get the ice cream too, Ki-chan, okay?” Satsuki called after him and got a bright affirmative in reply. She started absently humming and Daiki turned to look at her just as she started fussing with her outfit again.

Tonight, Satsuki was dressed in a white and pink unicorn kigurumi, looking cozy and comfortable as she lounged back against their living room couch. She was looking very relaxed and cheerful for somebody who was about to tie the knot in a few days. Looking at her kind of made Daiki nervous, not that he’d ever say so. She had been running around on a mix of manic determination and too much caffeine for months trying to get everything done and now that The Day was almost upon them, she looked finally and eerily at peace. Daiki figured she’d be more of a wreck the nearer it got but then again this was Satsuki. He didn’t really know of anyone else who was more put together than she was when it came to being faced with heavy, stressful situations. Like promising yourself and your life to another person forever.

Satsuki finished up her humming with a sudden smile, aiming it at him in a way that made him jolt a bit. “This was such a great idea, Dai-chan. Thanks.”

Daiki brushed off her thanks with snort as he stretched out beside her. “Whatever. Ryouta probably just wanted to be Pikachu for the night…”

“And you wanted to be Godzilla?” Satsuki asked him innocently, batting her eyelashes and nudging her white and pink covered foot against his own. Which was inside a dark gray Godzilla onesie foot thing.

“Anyone would be lucky to be Godzilla,” he told her seriously before she giggled and slumped sideways onto his shoulder with a soft sigh.

Satsuki had her Bachelorette Party with her girl friends the other day. That probably explained the relaxed mood. They had a group spa and of course Daiki had nothing to do with it because apparently “no boys allowed”. Ryouta had deemed it unfair, pouting about “wanting a party with Momocchi, too” but Daiki put his foot down on going to a spa. And so here they were, having a slumber party and drama marathon in their kigurumi. And yes, it was also an excuse to wear their cute character onesies. Daiki was very unashamedly fond of his Godzilla one and would wear it everywhere if it wouldn’t make Ryouta disown him.

“What is it?”

“Huh?” Daiki looked down and found Satsuki looking up at him inquisitively.

“You look like you’ve been wanting to say something all night.”

Daiki snorted, looking away, “What? No.”

“Yes.”

“Nope.”

“Yeeees.”

She gave his foot another nudge and there was that Look on her face.

From many years of knowing Satsuki, Daiki knew all about how tenacious she could be. She would not let something go when she was sure about it and it was just better to spit it out right away or she would just hurt you.

Daiki sighed, tired already and he hadn’t even started putting up much of a fight yet. This was old age probably getting to him. Dealing with a determined Satsuki was somehow harder nowadays. He blamed it on Ryouta; Ryouta just had a way of making him soft.

Speaking of the Pikachu kigurumi-clad blond, he was still in the kitchen and making popcorn, so it seemed. Microwave popcorn was safe. Ryouta could handle the microwave pretty well. Daiki could hear Ryouta singing faintly and could easily imagine the dorky little dance moves happening right about now. It would all look dorkier with Ryouta in his Pikachu outfit but he’d be able to carry it with his usual cheeky and mischievous bravado.

Daiki turned his gaze back to Satsuki to find her giving him an inquiring look.

“Just…,” he paused, trying to come up with the words. Why was talking so hard? “How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That you wanted to get married.”

It was just something that came to him as the day of the wedding drew closer. It was probably inevitable, with him being in the thick of preparations and being beside Satsuki almost every step of the way. That and Ryouta was there too, being excited and enthusiastic about everything like he always was when his friends and celebrations were involved and always eager to help with whatever whenever he could. Daiki had no idea Ryouta enjoyed weddings though he supposed it was different when your friends were involved.

“Well,” Satsuki began after a while, “he asked and before that we’ve talked about it. It wasn’t something that just happened.”

“So, what, you knew when he was gonna propose?” Well that sounded lame.

Satsuki laughed, eyes dancing. “No, but I knew he was going to eventually. We were both just waiting for the right time.”

Relationships were work; Daiki had come to learn that well in the past few years of him being with Ryouta. Love and care was not enough. There also had to be a level of trust and understanding that people needed to work on to achieve. Daiki liked to think that he and Ryouta were at that level after so many years. So now, what with Satsuki getting herself shackled soon and dragging him along for the wild ride preparing for it, it seemed like just the time to ask himself, “So what’s next?”

“...You’re really gonna get married, huh?” Daiki said, looking down at Satsuki again. She had put up the hood of her kigurumi and the soft unicorn horn almost poked him in the eye. How could it be that it felt like things were the same but they actually weren’t?

Satsuki looked at him from under her hood with a smile that reminded him far too much of Ryouta for some reason.

“Yep,” she responded easily, happily just as they heard Ryouta making his way back to them with the snacks.

She nudged at his shoulder with a giggle.

“Don’t cry, okay?”

(He didn’t cry, okay?

There was just something in his eye when Satsuki was walking down the aisle in her huge, floofy wedding dress.

It was probably the flowers. There were so many flowers. Why the fuck were there so many flowers anyway? He probably developed allergies and they made him tear up. Thank God there weren’t any bees...

Fuck, he felt like punching something.

He should’ve finally punched Satsuki’s boyfriend.

He should be the one crying.

(Not Daiki because he was happy for her, okay? The guy had no way of deserving her ever but he made her so goddamned happy and what was he supposed to do about that?

...God he was gonna miss her so much…)

The food at the reception was great. Daiki made absolutely sure of that. Sure, Ryouta helped in keeping it “appropriate” but still. Satsuki approved so that was that. After everything, after the eating and pictures and speeches and dancing, Satsuki and her new husband left for their honeymoon. She was able to say goodbye before she got whisked away. She had changed into street clothes, looking tired but still smiling, glowing like a happy bride.

“You be good to Ki-chan while I’m gone. I’ll be away for a while.” She said to him, smiling but still nagging at him.

Daiki had to roll his eyes. “Yeah, I won’t make him cry. Go already. You’ll be late for your flight.”

He almost fell over at the force of her hug. Tiny as she was, she had always been a force of nature and she was very capable of knocking him over if she wanted to. She clung to him for a long second, so many words unsaid but somehow Daiki understood and was touched by them, and then she was off, waving over her shoulder and calling out a goodbye.

It’ll be a few months until he saw her face to face again.

The guests were slowly leaving after the newlyweds’ exit and Satsuki’s and his family were seeing to the clean up and other post wedding brouhaha. Daiki was excused from all that because he was who he was a.k.a. he slipped away before his mother caught him. He has had enough of weddings for a while.

Daiki sighed in relief as he sank down onto a bench which was inside a garden gazebo he found at the back of the wedding chapel. Someone will find him eventually but until then, he would sit there and finally relax.

The gazebo was a perfect setting for wedding pictures. It was surrounded by the garden with flowers hanging down and curling around the posts. Someone even hung up fairy lights around. Daiki discovered them when they were suddenly turned on. The sun had started setting a while ago and now the gazebo was all softly, romantically lit up.

“There you are.”

Daiki looked over his shoulder and was not surprised to find Ryouta standing there. Ryouta was handsome as always but he was elegant and polished today in the dark, tailored suit he wore. His hair was styled like he was going to be in one of those photoshoots he did and Daiki had been itching to run his fingers through the soft-looking strands all day. Honestly. Kise Ryouta and his pretty boy looks and soft, pretty hair. He was a menace.

Ryouta had a hand in his pocket as he tilted his head a bit to the side after catching Daiki’s gaze. He smiled and followed it up with a saucy wink.

“Did you fall in love with me all over again just now?”

Daiki scoffed, frowning. “Oh shut up. You already know how pretty you are.”

Ryouta laughed and entered the gazebo to sit beside him. He sat down with much less grace than he usually would when he wore suits.

“I still like having Daiki say so, though!”

Ryouta was still smiling when Daiki looked away.

A comfortable silence fell between them for a while. The day started early and ended late. They were both tired but the mood between them was a soft, wistful one. It was still kind of surreal, thinking of Satsuki as a married woman. For all that they were involved in the preparations leading to this day, that concept was still kind of hard to grasp.

“Momocchi’s married.” Ryouta finally broke the silence as he was wont to do.

Daiki glanced to him at that. “I don’t think you can call her that anymore.”

“E? Why not? Momocchi is Momocchi. It doesn’t matter if she’s married now! She didn’t take her husband’s name, right?”

“...Oh yeah.”

Ryouta lifted up a closed fist with a grin. “By the way, congratulations, Maid of Honor. Great job.”

“Call me that again and I will end you,” Daiki grumbled but bumped fists with him anyway. He totally deserved the congratulations.

“I still think you should’ve worn a dress but whatever--Ah! Daiki!”

Ryouta was laughing even as Daiki got him in a headlock and Daiki couldn’t get enough of it. Of Ryouta’s everything, really, even if half the time Ryouta just plain drove him up the wall. Daiki had to ask sometimes, how was this his life? How did he get here, and with this spoiled, ridiculous, amazing creature to boot? Sure, it wasn’t perfect and he had to deal with so much shit sometimes but it was also good. It was just as surreal to think about sometimes.

It wasn’t long before Ryouta’s laughter faded to a smug, mischievous grin and he had happily claimed Daiki as his portable heater. Daiki wrapped him up in his arms with hardly any fuss because the idiot was going to get cold and was refusing to go back inside because the gazebo had “a nice, romantic atmosphere”.

Ryouta’s hair was brushing against his cheek and chin as he snuggled into him. Daiki didn’t really get cold easily but he was definitely warmer now with Ryouta all over him. He cleared his throat.

“Are you getting a cold?” asked Ryouta and Daiki could feel those eyes fixing on him inquisitively.

“No. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“...Well, okay. Let’s stay here a bit more but we’ll go in in a few minutes. Promise.”

Ryouta wriggled a bit before settling in more comfortably. Daiki looked down at him and started petting his hair. It was, unsurprisingly, as soft as it looked.

“That was nice, huh?”

“The reception?” Ryouta asked as he looked up at him.

“No…”

“The wedding?”

“Yeah....”

“Yeah,” Ryouta agreed with a fond smile, “It was. Momocchi was a beautiful bride.”

Daiki kept on petting his hair, letting the smooth strands weave gently through his fingers.

“You know… I wouldn’t mind…”

“Wouldn’t mind…?”

“...That.”

“E?”

His fingers settled in Ryouta’s hair.

“...I said I wouldn’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t mind what?” Ryouta’s expression was curious and Daiki had to force the words out.

“...Something like that.”

By then, Ryouta had straightened up so he could look at Daiki’s face as if trying to get a better gauge on what it was they were talking about. The look on Ryouta’s face was confused, unsure. He licked his lips, bit them, and Daiki did his best not to be distracted.

“...A wedding?” he asked softly.

“...”

“...Daiki?” Ryouta prompted him.

“...Yeah…”

Getting that out didn’t really make Daiki feel any better. Whoever said speaking your mind was a good thing should think again. The long moment after Daiki opened his mouth and said what had been on his mind for almost all of that day was terrifying.

And it didn’t get better when the long, nerve-wracking silence was over and Ryouta opened his mouth.

“Daiki?”

“Yeah?”

Ryouta looked at him and scrunched up his nose, lips pouting petulantly.

“Just so you know, that was the lamest proposal ever.”

You know how in anime where a character turned into stone and slowly started breaking into pieces or blowing away into dust? That was how Daiki felt like then.

“Hey!” he protested, though he felt frozen all over and like his head was going to explode at the same time. “I wasn’t proposing!”

Ryouta raised him an eyebrow, unimpressed. “But you said you wanted a wedding.”

“Not right now!” Daiki found himself stuttering out and oh my God. This was the lamest proposal ever.

“Well no,” and now Ryouta was rolling his eyes at him, “because I think we’re too old and attached to go and elope and can you imagine what that’d do to my mother and my sisters? They’ll be devastated, Daiki! And Momocchi has to be here. She has to help me out with all the planning! I can’t do everything myself! So it has to be sometime maybe next year at the earliest but it doesn’t have to be. Because I can wait. Because my boyfriend is an idiot and owes me a great, amazing proposal...”

It looked Ryouta wanted to say more but he trailed off and couldn’t help but stop, biting his lip again. Not even an hour after Satsuki left and Ryouta was already crying. Daiki was the absolute worst. Despite that, Ryouta allowed Daiki to take him back into his arms and hold him. Daiki started stroking his hair again and they stayed like that for a while.

When it seemed like Ryouta had calmed down, Daiki had to ask, “...So you’d like a wedding, huh?”

Ryouta’s voice when he answered was soft, wistful as he laid his head by Daiki’s shoulder. “I want to get married, yeah…”

The words made Daiki pause for a second but it didn’t take much for him to just hold Ryouta closer. “You never said anything…”

Ryouta let out a snort. “You’re a scaredy cat so you had to be the one to say it first.”

That made Daiki frown. “I’m not a scaredy cat…”

Ryouta shifted a little and somehow Daiki knew he was smiling. He squeezed him a bit in what was supposed to be a reprimand but they both knew it didn’t work one bit.

“...I knew I was going to marry you somehow, some way.” Ryouta murmured when the sun had completely set and the air had gotten chilly but between the two of them there was warmth; Daiki felt it the most on his face.

“Cheesy...”

Ryouta looked at him soberly, leaned up and kissed him.

“You love it.”

(“I love you.”)

#aokise #Aomine Daiki #Kise Ryouta #Momoi Satsuki #kagami taiga #Kuroko Tetsuya #Akashi Seijūrō

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yumichanhamano · 8 years ago

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89. “Let me tell you exactly where in hell you can go.” with Shinsuba please and thanks~

It was another late night at the office and Mitsuba downedanother shot.

Ever since she got the boring desk job, she became a regular atthe bar. The bar was more quiet and tamed compared to other bars she’d been toas a college student. Honestly, all she need is a drink before she decided toquit her job.

She needed the job in order to afford rent and other basicnecessities. She was considered an embarrassment to the Sanguu family. She lefthome after her second year in college and had been living alone since.

The bartender slid her another shot and she glanced up at him.

“I didn’t order another one,” Mitsuba said as she looked up athim.

“She paid for it,” he pointed at a purple haired women seateddown the bar. She lifted her own drink and winked. Mitsuba didn’t know what tomake of it.

“Tell her thanks, but I’m not interested.”

“Already tried,” the man said as he dried the beer mug. On quietdays, Mitsuba would talk to him, share her burdens instead of drinking themaway. “Little lady won’t take no for an answer, even if you aren’tinterested.”

“Great,” Mitsuba muttered under her breath as the bartender wascalled away. She propped up her arm and rest her head as she stared at theclear liquid. It was just a shot and it wasn’t the first time someone tried tobuy her a drink.

She either had to wait for the other to make a move or go overto her and thank her before leaving.

The last time she approached a man about not being interested,she smashed a beer bottle at his head and ended up at the police station till 3in the morning.

Mitsuba heard the sound of the chair to her right being draggedacross the marble floor and she looked up to the youthful face.

She briefly wondered if the other was even old enough to bedrinking.

“Name’s Shinoa and I couldn’t help but buy a drink for lovelylady such as yourself.” Mitsuba snorted.

“Spare me the jest,” Mistuba said and downed her thirdshot. “Let me tell you exactly where in hell you can go.”

Shinoa blinked a few times before smiling warmly again.

“I’m much more familiar if you wanted a visit.”

Mitsuba stared at the other for a moment, almost entranced before shaking herself out of the buzz from her drinks.

“Not interested.” She left a payment for her earlier two drinksand stood up from the bar stool.

Mitsuba took two steps before she paused at the scene in front of her.

Everyone in the bar was froze in place. The waitress, the guysby the pool table, even the group of newly of age college students appeared tobe frozen in time. She never noticed when the music stopped.

“How fucking drunk am I?”

“Not intoxicated enough if you ask me,” a smooth voice spoke behind her. Itsounded familiar, yet she could not pinpoint who it was.

Mitsuba turned around to see who was messing with her but frozefrom fear.

She recognized it to be the younger women, but she didn’t recall the pairof black sleek horns that grew out of each side of her head or the long thin tailswished from slight to side. But it did not attract Mitsuba’s attention as muchas the beautiful blackish red wings that were folded neatly behind Shinoa.

Mitsuba started to feel uncomfortable under the piercing redgaze but she felt herself losing her self in them, such a rich and beautiful colour.

“I only wanted to make friends earlier,” Shinoa said as she slowly took a step forward, her tail curling behind her, “but I’m much more interested now.”

Mitsuba’s mind went blank.

“Uh, I have work tomorrow,” she blurted out. Shinoa had the same dumbfounded expression from earlier before letting out a laugh.

“I am definitely very interested.” There was a glint in the red eyes that ran shivers down Mitsuba’s spine, something almost dangerous. “I’ll see you around then, Mitsuba Sanguu.”

Shinoa brushed past Mitsuba, sending another set of chills.

“How did you-” Mitsuba turned to look for Shinoa, but she was nowhere to be seen. But everyone started moving again, the music was playing, just like how it should be.

“Can I help you, ma’am?” the waitress asked with an empty tray.

“I’m… I’m just really drunk, don’t mind me,” Mitsuba said and left the bar.

She needed sleep. Mitsuba was seeing some freaky shit cause she was too tired. That was it, she was tired.

She skipped the public transportation and waved down a taxi. Sure it would cut into her budget for the month a bit, but she needed it.

Red eyes followed the small vehicle as it traveled down the long road. She stretched out her wings as she stood up on the perch of the apartment building. She prepared for flight when she felt a hand on her shoulder, but no malicious intent.

“What do you want?” Shinoa asked, her eyes never leaving the car until it was out of sight.

“You were supposed to be doing your job.” Shinoa rolled her eyes.

“I did. I wanted a little drink after trying to approach that disgusting pig.”

“Shinoa, we do not indulge in human gratification.”

“I know, but it’s entertaining to me,” Shinoa said as she folded her wings and turned to face her sister. “Besides, you need to let loose sometimes too. How’s things with Guren?”

Mahiru was a hypocrite when she tells her no to engage in any human activities but she was ‘dating’ a human man. Shinoa never understood this concept that the humans came up with.

“We don’t need to bring him into the conversation,” she said as she brushed her hair behind her shoulder. “So you collected the souls?”

“Today’s list is completed.”

“Good, let’s head back then,” Mahiru said as a portal opened. “Actually, who was that blonde girl?”

“None of your business,” Shinoa almost hissed before disappearing into the portal. Mahiru looked back at the bar in amusement before following her little sister.

She is also interested in this Mistuba Sanguu.

(Why do I do this to myself? idk man. Also it’s for this if people are confused to why I’m writing a whole oneshot XD Took a few days break cause school)

#ask #lightningstrike83 #yumih's writing #writing ask

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vestedbeauty · 4 years ago

Text

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

New Post has been published on https://vestedbeauty.com/midlife-rage-because-that-is-most-definitely-not-william-devane/

Midlife Rage: Because That Is Most Definitely NOT William Devane

Beating this periodic midlife rage thing is going to take some practice. Or bail money.

Ever shock your normally even-tempered and rational self with the realization you’ve become a fire-breathing midlife rage dragon? Damn, I hate when that happens.

But there we were, watching bad sci-fi, my sweet hubby and I.

The bad guy had just revealed his devious plan for… well, I can’t remember what he was up to, really.

“Oh, that’s William Devane,” hubby said.

No. It was most definitely not.

Fight or flight mode hit me hard. Like when I watch a horror film (through the gaps between my hands covering my eyes), I begged myself to be reasonable. Do NOT go into the dark. Don’t do it, girl. You’ll be sorry. This cannot end well. It’s not too late to…

Oh, but go, I did.

“You’re crazy, that’s not him. You always think it’s some other actor than who it is. Can’t you just watch the damned show and not make bold proclamations that are utterly incorrect?”

I went.

Only in my mind, thank goodness for small wins.

Yup, wearing my annnnngry eyes.

Why So Grumpy?

To be clear:

Do I give a flying hoot about William Devane? No.

About sci-fi filmology? Absolutely not.

About being right? Ooooh. Busted.

And about my sweet hubby’s feelings and the relationship we are so consciously, carefully building? YES. Definitely, absolutely, and emphatically, yes.

This is the man I chose to marry, not even a year ago. He’s the man I admire, respect, cherish, and enjoy. He’s the one I’ll go from midlife crank to elderly crone with… assuming I don’t push the self-destruct button on this marriage with this ridiculous prickliness. He is kind, brilliant, creative, strong, handsome, funny, sexy, deep, daring, principled, and fun.

Yet for some reason, midlife me sometimes kind of wants to go all Daenerys Targaryen on him (of all people) and scorch his wrong-actor-guessing ass into next week. To be honest, sometimes I let some of the flames loose. Not a full vent, but snappish enough that it’s shocking to both of us. And enough that I feel devastated, shocked, and betrayed by my own midlife-mad self. At this moment, I TOTALLY get Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes.

youtube

Only You Can Prevent Midlife Rage Forest Fires

We’ve talked about this, hubby and I. It’s painful even to remember how I’ve shown up during these crazy-headed scorched earth moments. Of course, he thought it was him, that he’d disappointed me somehow. It’s not him.

I mean, sure, he misidentifies actors. But is that REALLY a scorchable offense?

No way. But I know that if I don’t figure this out, I will torch everything I love, everything I hold dear, everything I’ve worked so hard to create. And that kind of midlife crisis – of my own making – is absolutely not okay.

I’m no stranger to personal development – current midlife bizarreness aside. Though I’ve created a life I love, sometimes something’s not working right in my mind. Maybe it’s hormones, and I’m going to look into that.

Hormones or not, this is an experience I need to look at and understand so I can be and do better. I want to show up like me, with my normal level of weird rather than this super-sized serving of crazy. It’s definitely not him. That means it’s up to me to figure this out.

A (Not-So) Shocking Discovery about Midlife Rage

Stick with me a sec here.

As an empty nester, it’s been a kick to design my life. Our life. We get up without an alarm because we both work from home and own businesses. Usually, it’s about six or so.

We eat far more culinarily interesting foods than we ever did when we were raising our families.

Bedtime is – don’t laugh too hard – literally when our flock of chickens puts themselves to bed, around eight. I read a while, then sleep and get a solid eight hours each night. (I know midlife women often struggle to rack up enough zzzz’s, and someday I’ll tell you how I do it.)

Our house is cleaner than any I’ve ever kept. It helps a whole LOT that we have a wonderful cleaning lady who keeps on top of it all. I putter and clean and tidy up more than ever, but she’s the one who does the real work.

Puttering, in fact, has become a favorite part of my days. It’s therapeutic for me to create and maintain order. It’s also one way I get more movement into my day (I’m super sedentary during my work hours – I’m a writer).

You wouldn’t walk in and go, “WOW, that’s a clean house!” but most days you also wouldn’t run screaming from the mess.

I’ve discovered that I like order. In fact, I thrive in it.

Everything in its place, and a place for everything.

I’m ruthless about decluttering. As a minimalist, it’s easy to feel suffocated by too much stuff. I’m also not all that fancy. OK, not fancy at all. I despise shopping. So, we don’t have the mountain of stuff many couples have.

But while I seem to thrive on routine and tidiness, there’s a dark side that shows up in my thoughts. It shows itself in the form of a control freak. That feels like a new one for me.

OMG, I’m Procrustes

So, in Greek mythology, there was a baddie named Procrustes. He was infamous for his bed practices. (Not that kind.) He’d force his victims onto a bed, then either stretch them to fit it perfectly – or cut off any bits that hung over. Nice guy.

Oh. Nice me.

Turns out, I’m cool as long as everything fits my notions about what should be, cool. Same with anything else that might need to sync up.

But if something sticks out – or in, really – into the bubble of my thoughts, especially if I’m concentrating, indulging in story-driven entertainment, or if I’m lost in thought while mulling a work challenge… it’s time to sound the smoke alarm. Danger, Will Robinson!

Unless I notice the warning signs and take action to extinguish the blaze.

Well, Whaddya Know

Here’s what happens when I catch those sparks before they go wild. Something happens. I perceive it. Then I have a thought about it that sure seems to be entirely valid and accurate. Next, there’s a feeling followed by a surge of energy that demands release.

Are you kidding me? THIS again? This is the same freaky way my brain behaved when I had a binge eating disorder. How on earth do I not have this solved and beat it for good?

Oh. It’s the way the human brain works. OK, fine. At least I’ve got the tools that worked every single time I’ve ever actually bothered to use them.

Rather than fly off the handle (or eat two rows of Oreos while standing over the sink with a glass of cold milk), I can stop for a moment and go:

Hey brain, whatcha doing here?

Oh, you have a thought. Cool. Let’s hear it.

My, that’s an interesting one.

Is there possibly another way to look at this? Or do you really just want to go ahead and do that thing you think you want to do? I mean, you can but make sure you realize you have a choice in this.

That’s kind of the gist of it. It’s a matter of throwing the brake lever on the train long enough to make an intentional choice about what comes next. I’ve been up and down the tracks long enough to know where they head, and how hard it can be to stop that freight train if I reach a certain point.

And really, despite all appearances when I’m in the throes of a temper tantrum, I’m typically a very happy and chill person. I adore my husband and enjoy him thoroughly. It’s a delight to live in my skin, because I’ve chosen it to be that way.

So, if all I need to do in the heat of fury is to take a beat to breathe and choose, that’s pretty doable. That doesn’t mean I’ll always do it, or even remember to do it. But if I choose not to master my own mind and the experiences I create, life’s going to suck… by choice. Sounds worth it to me.

This Is Not Entirely Unfamiliar Territory

I have many, many, many happy memories of my grandparents, and I was blessed to have most of them around well into my 40’s. But I also have memories of incidents that were puzzling at the time – and now make sense – of my grandmother whipping out a dragon of her own. My grandfather would be telling a story. She’d interject corrections throughout. It wasn’t that day, that place, that person, that meal, that… Every single detail of his story was subject to her correction. I always felt bad for him when it would happen, and annoyed with her for creating such an unpleasant situation for everyone witnessing it.

Fast-forward a few decades, and I’m about to flip my shit over not-William-Devane. I am utterly grateful for this bad memory of Grandmommy because it’s like a canary in the coal mine for me. She did her very best, and did so without the world of personal development that I can access with a few clicks. She didn’t have podcasts, blogs, videos or books aplenty to help her sort her grumpy midlife self out.

I do.

And I will.

And if you’re also finding yourself baffled by your own sudden snappish tendencies and sudden midlife rage, maybe we can figure this out together. It might save lives.

Want to Do this Together? (I promise not to breathe fire on you!)

If you were to examine this blog closely, you’d notice a humongous gap between posts. Before, to be honest, I had in mind to build an affiliate site and nothing more. I had several sites going, covering everything from gifts to health to pet rats to magical uses of marijuana (we’ll talk about that someday if you want). It was exhausting. There was no way to keep up. Shiny object syndrome had me in perpetual busyness, but it was like running on a treadmill – it went nowhere.

Now, there’s another driver. I’m realizing that maybe I don’t have to have this midlife thing sorted out. Let alone the whole midlife rage thing. But, there’s no need to be an authority. No requirement to have all the answers. Instead, I can just document this journey and report back the discoveries back to you.

Pretty much every midlife woman I know has a lot of puzzles to solve. (I’ve adopted that distinction – a very smart guy I work for says, “There are no problems, just puzzles.”) Being an alliteration addict, I’ve got a bunch of M’s that fit here.

As midlife women, we’re sorting out our:

Mindset

Movement

Metabolism

Mind (like, how it functions)

Marriage

Money

Makeup and hair

Mission (why are you here?)

Meals

And a bunch more, like our kids, grandkids (someday), friends, etc. They don’t fit neatly into those M’s… though I swear I will find a way! (Darnit… Procrustes has ways but let’s not go there!)

Anyhow, if you’re up for taking a wild and all-over-the-place ride with me, let’s do it. I sure can’t promise it’s going to be smooth, consistent, or pretty. But that’s kind of alright, too. We can just show up as-is, be real, and grow together.

Deal?

P.S. I just showed this post to my sweet hubby. He liked it. Then he muttered, “I still think it was William Devane.” Guess he’s a little pig-headed, too.

#midlife rage

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preserving-ferretbrain · 6 years ago

Text

Subject Fail

by Wardog

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

Wardog is utterly horrified by the Subject Zero in Mass Effect II~

In case all the squeeing in the playpen hasn’t made it clear, I’m currently playing Mass Effect II – one of my favourite RPGs of all time, not least of all because it has

a genuinely functional morality system,

for once. Mass Effect II takes everything that was even slightly imperfect about Mass Effect I (and there were some issues, believe me – not least of all the cumbersome rumbling around barren planets in the crappy mako) and either polishes it until it shines or throws it out the window. Whoring for renegade and paragon points so you can use your charm / intimidate skills is no longer necessary, and finally they’ve noticed that picking the neutral option shouldn’t be a bum deal, so you actually get a scattering of both renegade and paragon points for charting a course between doormatty sainthood and shooting people in the face. With the result that Mass Effect IIis a little piece of awesome, and I love it passionately.

As much as I enjoyed Dragon Age, I genuinely (and probably heretically) believe that Mass Effect is by far the superior game. By giving you an already established character, Shepard, and the freedom to develop his/her attitude as you wish, it avoids all the problems Dan articulates in

this

article on Dragon Age. I think embracing linearity, as opposed to serving up a poor semblance of freedom, makes for a deeper story and, paradoxically, a more personalised experience. In short, I'd much rather be Shepard within a story constructed all around me, than Second Dwarf Commoner From The Left.

Spoilers incoming.

There's only one fly in my Mass Effect ointment, and that's the character of Subject Zero. Seriously, Bioware, what were you thinking?! To be fair, Mass Effect has always been

a bit dodgy

with its gender politics. But, despite being wet as a rice paddy during a Monsoon (and not in a good way) and the weird virginity fetishisation undertone, Liara did make a decent partner for my Shepard, soothing my renegade inclinations with her tentacles...err...I mean gentle ideals. But Subject Zero goes beyond “hmmm, you were a bit clueless, weren't you?” and into “ye gods, what is wrong with you?”

Before the game came out, there were a couple of trailers to build up excitement and anticipation about the Subject Zero character. Click

here

for the first one. Trying too hard, much? Good grief, she swears! She has tattoos. And a shaved head! How freaky! How alternative! How badass! My tiny mind is blown. Now putting aside the fact she looks, and talks, like your typical Ox Goth, which is off-putting to say the least, this is pretty cringe-worthy but not so out of the usual realm of cringe-worthy wankfantasy videogame characters that I did more than roll my eyes and sigh. It is, however, generally annoying that for a woman to be a badass she also has to be broken (“turns out, mess with someone’s head enough and you can turn a scared kid into an all-powerful bitch"). Healthy women, y’see, wouldn't be getting tattoos and firing guns, oh no, they'd be, I don't know, doing healthy things like sewing or getting married.

Then came the second trailer (which you can see

here

). It's still annoying but it's less “wow, we have a terrible attitude towards women” annoying, and she shows some depth and complexity beyond the over-sexed, broken badass model of the first trailer. Well, at least she does if you’re feeling mildly generous about it.

Part of the problem with the trailers, I think, is the lack of awareness – there seems to be no understanding of how far are we meant to buy Subject Zero's rhetoric, how far she buys it herself, and to what extent it is rhetoric. I like the second trailer more than the first because she seems genuinely psychotic and dangerous – which puts her on par with most of the rest of the cast - as opposed to the first trailer which depicts her as somebody ultimately fearful and pretending. Is she a victim or a badass, or a victim AND a badass, and if the latter how far, and in what ways, are they connected?

And then there's the game itself, where it all goes to shit.

You recruit Subject Zero (or Jack as she is known – which I think is quite cool) from a penal colony called Purgatory as part of the formation of your personal Dirty Dozen. She was sold, as a child, to a dodgy medical facility who tortured her, and a bunch of other kids, in order to increase their biotic abilities. Eventually, Jack managed to kill her way to freedom – causing chaos throughout the galaxy until her arrest. As part of her “gain her loyalty” quest, you take her back to the remains of the facility because … y'know … she's a woman, so she needs closure, or some other touchy feely girly crap. Again, the quest as a whole straddles the border between interesting and annoying. It’s interesting because there’s a brief moment in which the writers seem to be doing something slightly original with Subject Zero - she learns that other children were being abused even worse than she was in order to protect her, and make sure the biotic-enhancement experiments wouldn't kill her. This would genuinely be an intriguing development for someone who, rather self-indulgently and self-destructively, has always perceived herself as a victim. But the game promptly brushes this under the carpet, and instead presents you with the usual “you're a killer, Jack, get used to it” versus “but you have to let go of your past so it no longer controls you” moral dilemma. Yawn. And ultimately what you have here is a sequence which does nothing but prove how completely dominated Subject Zero is by the terrible things that were done to her when she was a kid – so much so that it makes much of her subsequent life of badassery a complete lie.

Of course, it’s perfectly realistic that somebody would, in fact, be completely dominated by the terrible things that happened to them as a child. People are. BUT the game isn’t trying to engage with the far reaching effects of child abuse. It’s offering up the worst kind of male fantasy there is – that of the woman who seems totally strong, but is secretly a broken flower who desperately needs a man to save her. All the characters you recruit to your Suicide Squad are, to a degree, dangerous and fucked up but - even the dying assassin who was trained to be one from the age of six or the scientist who worked on a virus to control an entire alien virus or the dude grown in a tank by a crazy frog alien – no matter how much guilt and remorse they feel, they ultimately own their past, their decisions and their badassery.

Not so Subject Zero. What powers she has were given to her by the people who experimented on her. And all the bad shit she did in her life was not truly her choice, and not something for which she can be held accountable, because she was impelled to it by the damage done to her. (Again, check out Dan’s article

The Victim Dilemma

for more on this) What you’re left with is a completely unthreatening female pseudo-badass.

This is all bad enough but it’s when you start to get into the sexual side of things that you move from cluelessly offensive, and into really really fucking disgustingly offensive. I will admit Subject Zero is kind of hot, and, again, it’s potentially a good thing to have an attractive female character who isn’t conventionally feminine in appearance – although, again, it’s all trying slightly too hard for it to really be effective. And I do kind of wish she’d put a proper shirt on. Having your nipples hanging out is dangerous if you're encountering regular cross fire. Anyway, you can bone Subject Zero in two ways... so to speak, but only if you're a man. Despite having done girls in her past, because it’s a turn on for the male gamer, I suspect, she doesn’t do girls now – because, y’know, bulldykes just aren’t a turn on for the male gamer. And although it’s perfectly reasonable for Subject Zero not to be an equal opportunities bonee in principle, in practice it means she’s still further defined by her status as a male fantasy.

The 'renegade' way is to get it on with Subject Zero is to shaft her against a bulkhead

as soon as the opportunity arises

– she will then discard you because you've proven yourself just another using manslut. The disturbing implication of this is, therefore, that Subject Zero doesn’t actually like sex – otherwise she’d be perfectly happy to keep fucking you, in this cheerful, no strings attached way. Again, although it’s perfectly reasonable that someone with a history of abuse might not enjoy sex and use it as a form of self-harm, the game isn’t actually engaging with this. Subject Zero’s promiscuity, like her badassery, is just another lie because the game simply can’t get its head round the notion that a woman could enjoy casual sex.

The paragon way is to pursue a relationship with her, whereupon she comes to your cabin aaaand

check this shit out

, and try not barf.

Ye Gods. I know the romances in Mass Effect are there to pander to our fantasies (mine just happens to be Garrus Vakarian all the way) but this is absolutely the most destructive and repulsive male fantasy there is. The supposedly 'strong' woman who is actually broken and helpless and just needs a male shoulder to cry on. Because, yes, a woman who weeps while you stick it to her is a real turn on. Don't get me wrong, I understand this fantasy. We all want to save women, especially from the cruelty of other men (see

nice guy syndrome

) but at least I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge it has absolutely nothing to do with women, and is incredibly, unspeakably unhealthy.

Also, just look at the way this scene is animated. You have Subject Zero (not so badass now, eh?) trembling, weeping and wordless, acknowledging that Shepard has a deeper understanding of her needs than she does, admitting tacitly that the person she has become is little more than a façade for her truly vulnerable, properly feminine self. And then she lies down, passive and submissive, her arms stretched over her head while Shepard heals her with his mighty mancock.

Eeeeew!!!

(Just as contrast, do check out

the consummation scene with Miranda

, one of the other female options. I think video-game sex scenes tend to look a bit ridiculous, as the animation isn’t quite up to it, but this is quite fun and sexy. They power dynamic is balanced, Miranda is clearly an active and willing participant, and there’s nothing freakier going on than two healthy, consenting, adult human beings having a good time together).

But Subject Zero isn't a person at all – she was created by the men at the facility, broken by those same men, used by men across the galaxy and ultimately healed again by a man. And by the looks of it, she still doesn't even seem to like sex. In short, they've created a character whose sole purpose in the game is to make men feel good about themselves, without actually threatening or challenging them in any way. What’s hotter than a female badass? A female badass who isn’t actually a badass. What’s hotter than a highly sexed woman? A woman who isn’t actually highly sexed. What’s better than a strong woman? A vulnerable woman who needs a man to hold her. It sickens me. It actually sickens me.

I can take the sexual fantasies romance options in games seem to be offering, but the emotional ones – especially when they invoke the most repulsive aspects of Nice Guy Syndrome – have gone beyond disturbing.

Themes:

Computer Games

Sci-fi / Fantasy

Minority Warrior

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Arthur B

at 13:22 on 2010-02-02Awesome rant. But are you really being a Minority Warrior if you're a woman complaining about a game's portrayal of women? I thought the point of MWing was to leap to the defence of a group you're not actually a member of against the vile iniquities of your own demographic...

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Wardog

at 14:21 on 2010-02-02Arthur, are you saying I can't be a Minority Warrior because I'm a woman?!

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Arthur B

at 14:36 on 2010-02-02I'm saying that, if the defining trait of a Minority Warrior is speaking on behalf of demographics you don't belong to, then you can't be a Minority Warrior whilst speaking for your own demographic. :)

On the other hand, my Minority Warrior instincts say that anyone who self-defines as a Minority Warrior should be recognised as one.

But now I've ended up being a Minority Warrior talking on behalf of Minority Warriors, so I can't be a Minority Warrior, so then I must be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be...

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 17:28 on 2010-02-02Hi guys, first time posting on FerretBrain! I love your articles.

Anyway, I just beat Mass Effect 2 for the first time not long ago, and did in fact pursue the romance with Subject Zero. Looking back, there's really no way to view Jack than the typical Whedonchick, the super badass killer who was secretly traumatized and needs a good man to keep her up. Compare Jack with River.

There's also the comparisons between Jack and Kaiden, from ME1. Kaiden wasn't around in my ME2 save, but in retrospect they've got a bit of a similar backstory. Both were traumatized at a biotics training facility, Jack more than Kaiden, and both ended up killing to get away, Jack more than Kaiden. I'm not sure how much I can say about their comparison other than to note that nobody seemed to like Kaiden at all, although that may have been because his VA was the dude who voiced Carth Onasi.

I'm inclined to cut BioWare some slack for this, since it seems that literally every other female in Mass Effect is pretty much independent, proactive, and self-defined. The other party members in ME2 definitely are: Tali, Miranda, and Samara are all achievers with independent goals who have had tons of success without needing to deal with Shepard. To an extent, Tali and Miranda are defined by being their father's daughters (Miranda much more so than Tali, who is a pretty independently active woman), but they still do tons of stuff on their own, of their own volition. There's also Liara, who is happily the head of her own intelligence agency, doing things for her own reasons. Ashley, these days promoted to high command and the overseer of the entire military branch of a colony.

Even the secondary characters tend to fare pretty well: Emily Wong, Nassana Dantius, Shai'ara, the leader of the crime syndicate you meet in the Presidium in ME1, Matriarch Benezia (who, despite being mindraped by Sovereign, deliberately chose to infiltrate Saren's army and knew the risks that she would end up being indoctrinated; she wasn't just some random chick that Sovereign subjugated because puppet shows, hot)... Generally the women in Mass Effect tend to be pretty strong and very rarely defined as "someone's sister" or "someone's wife" (cf. Warcraft). There is the doctor from ME1, a somewhat archaic Damsel In Distress, but still. Most of the women in the game who get screentime tend to be pretty well-presented.

(Unless this entire analysis has just been my phallocentric manocratic thinking convincing me that the legions of sexual playthings paraded before me in a tentacular orgasmic rape simulator are actually fairly independent, well-characterized women. The curse of a minority warrior!)

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4

at 22:36 on 2010-02-02Is it just me or did they base Jack on the character of the same name from Chronicles of Riddick?? Even how the game unfolds during the mission on Purgatory, parallels Riddick and Jack's escape from "Crematoria" (prison colony/world).

Your interpretation of Jack reminds me of one of the quotes from Bioware's other character, "Morrigan", from their recent game "Dragon Age: Origins":

"Men are always ready to believe two things about a woman - that she is weak and that she finds him attractive."

Your fixation on gender is rather telling. I could care less that a man "heals" or "saves" Jack, or if a woman does. The paragon scene between them is about love. Love requires you to compromise pride and ego to attain something greater than yourself. What I see are two people engaged in a tender and emotional moment.

I could care less about lust or casual sex. And speaking of strong women, it takes a strong woman to truly give herself completely to intimacy, and the same of course is required of the man, to have a truly loving relationship. Even the word "relationship" implies "more than yourself". Casual sex is entirely selfish, and the preference of the weak willed.

On the contrary I believe it's a testament to Jack strength of will and character, to be so intimate with Shepard, after all she has been through. She's learned (and said in some of the dialogue) that people only act out of selfish concerns, and are not to be trusted.

But then it seems believable given the person Shepard proves himself to be (through paragon actions) and that he is an exceptional individual; peerless... saving the galaxy more than once.

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Wardog

at 23:06 on 2010-02-02@ Webcomcon, hello and welcome to Fb. Thank you for the comment. I suspect Kaiden was universally disliked because he was a whiny bitch and, honestly, game mechanically rubbish - it's amazing how much being a strong addition to your party can make you inclined to really dig someone. I actually liked Carth very much though - and have nothing against the VA.

I will agree that Bioware have done better with the other women in the game - I like Miranda, I adore Tali ... and, well, Samara is a big breasted dominatrix but at least she's not weak. Also from a character rather gendered perspective, I didn't quite *buy* Liara's shift from naive sheltered scientist to cold hard information broker.

I think what bugs me about Subject Zero is the lack of self-awareness in the portrayal - I genuinely believe it's a distasteful fantasy to indulge. Also the fact that it's tied into the morality system is just plain creepy - it's 'renegade' to have sex with a woman when she offers it, but 'paragon' to bone her while she weeps? EEEWWW! EWWWWW! EWWWW!! I think it plays into the idea tha sex is something women give to me to reward them ... rather than something that women want, and can enjoy, on their own terms.

Hello, err, me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4.

Your fixation on gender is rather telling

Telling in what way?

Love requires you to compromise pride and ego to attain something greater than yourself.

Like fuck it does.

What I see are two people engaged in a tender and emotional moment.

Really? Because what I see is a repulsive borderline misogynistic rape fantasy. If a woman started crying when I fucked her, I'd stop. I certainly wouldn't find it some kind of turn on.

And speaking of strong women, it takes a strong woman to truly give herself completely to intimacy, and the same of course is required of the man, to have a truly loving relationship.

And what, precisely, is Shepard giving up or compromising in this scene? It opens with her telling him he was right about everything. Also yours is a rather heterocentric depication of an ideal relationship isn't it?

Casual sex is entirely selfish, and the preference of the weak willed.

And arbitrary judgements are the refuge of the morally and intellectually cowardly.

But then it seems believable given the person Shepard proves himself to be (through paragon actions) and that he is an exceptional individual; peerless... saving the galaxy more than once.

Yes, heaven forefend she actually experience sexual desire.

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 00:06 on 2010-02-03It's a Randian anti-feminist ideal. The greatest possible exemplar of humanity is the powerful male; the greatest possible exemplar of FEMININITY is a woman who willfully "romantically surrenders" to such a man. Indeed, rape is actually the most legitimate form possible of love, because it's the most authentic representation of man's intrinsic superiority.

Another woman who comes off pretty well: Aria T'loak. Forgot her the first time around.

If I have any interest in Subject Zero, it's because I deliberately mis-read the character and imagine that she really IS coming to the realization that she actually WASN'T the worst off at the Cerberus facility and that most of her misery IS self-inflicted. It's a character arc where she finally realizes that the most destructive thing in her life has been her own refusal to engage with other people relationally, and Shepard finally helps her realize that. It's ba-a-arely suggested by the actual text of ME2.

====

Since I can't reply to the Playpen, mind if I may a few comments on that GamaSutra article? I think it's rather accurate, personally. I'm also of the belief that a more complex game is not necessarily a more interesting game or (most crucially) a more fun game. With Mass Effect, most of its complexity came in the form of rubbish loot that the game vomited up continuously, which was impossible to manage with its complex inventory. The secondary source of complexity was the gigantic skill trees each character had.

There are definitely two options: Refine the systems so that they're complex AND ENTERTAINING, or discard the systems so that you're left with the good stuff you had before. Personally, since I have no interest whatsoever in managing inventory, I'm glad they chucked the "here, receive eight billion copies of the Kolyat VII Sniper Rifle! try to find time to sell all the gear you'll never bother to equip!" system. It might have been interesting to see it upgraded into something Borderlands-esque, but meh.

I'm ambivalent on the reduced complexity in the skill trees. One benefit to the simplified skill trees is that different characters, even ones with the same specialty, are pretty distinct mechanically. Jack in combat doesn't really play like Samara, and Zaeed and Jacob are pretty distinct too. Unlike in ME1, where a Soldier Shepard and Ashley were basically identical, except Shepard was always better because she got more skill points. On the other hand, having tons of options to build your character is neat.

I play more shooters than WRPGs anyway. I really appreciated ME2's refined cover system. It feels infinitely more natural and useful than ME1's, although it's still not as good as the cover in Gears or Uncharted.

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Wardog

at 09:38 on 2010-02-03

It's a Randian anti-feminist ideal

Oh God, it's been such a long time since I've looked at / thought about Rand, but, yes, you're right. There's a kind of romantic re-interpretation of this you can find in early romance novels, when female sexual desire was still something borderline inexpressible. You get a lot of psuedo-rape, awakening to true self yadda yadda stuff, but mainly as a cover so the heroine can get her rocks off without feeling guilty about it.

Another woman who comes off pretty well: Aria T'loak.

Oh, yes, she's awesome. It was really nice to see an Asari not being a nameless merc, lapdancer or a touchy-feely sex counsellor for once. Also I should probably emphasise I don't - in general - have an issue with the portrayal of women in ME. Just Subject Zero; and I was initally quite interested in the character myself because, although there was that 'trying too hard' air about her, I did quite like her, because she was hot, direct and well voice-acted. I thought the visit to her facility very nearly came off well - but then the whole thing degenerated into ICK.

With ref to the Gamasutra article - I think the issue is that a lot of the things ME II has discarded are considered endemic to the cRPG format/genre. I entirely agree with you about inventory mangaement - I want to play the game I've bought, not some tedious tetris-alike whereby I'm juggling resources from one box to another as efficiently as possible. But I think for a lot of people having an inventory that needs managing is as much a part of a cRPG as sprawling skill trees or having to visit a merchant every 10 minutes to offload your crap.

For me, I think a good computer games makes you feel like what you're suppoesd to be. I liked the pared down approach of MEII because all the stuff that made me feel I was playing a computer game (fucking inventory management) has gone and all the stuff that makes me feel like a bad ass sci-fi chick has been amped up. But I think the Gamasutra is right - because of this, it's genuinely debatable whether MEII is an RPG any more.

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Arthur B

at 10:04 on 2010-02-03The inventory management thing is especially odd when, as far as I'm aware, nobody really considers encumbrance rules, which would be their equivalent in tabletop RPGs, to be a necessary or vital component of a tabletop RPG system; I'm aware of several which don't have such a thing.

To be fair, with traditional RPGs you really ought to be able to rely on the participants not abusing this and having their characters running around carrying an obscene amount of kit. But on the other hand, JRPGs quietly gave characters inventories of nigh-unlimited size a long time ago. And I suspect some CRPG inventory systems were developed mainly to keep the size of saved games down, rather than being based on any real consideration of how much characters could actually carry... and have been retained, long past the point where save game size really matters (or at least, past the point where what's in your inventory is going to take up more than a tiny fraction of your saved game).

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 15:00 on 2010-02-03Base-building and resource management is endemic to the RTS format, and grinding is endemic to the MMO format. While I'm not going to say with absolute certainty that those things are always lame (I've had fun building bases in Earth 2150), I am generally grateful when you get games that pare away that bullshit and give you something actually interesting.

And I suspect some CRPG inventory systems were developed mainly to keep the size of saved games down, rather than being based on any real consideration of how much characters could actually carry

Makes sense, especially when you look at the pencil-and-paper parallels. One obvious difference you have to consider when drawing analogies between CRPGs and tabletop RPGs is the absence of a GM. In Dungeons and Dragons, the dungeon master can just say "knock it off, you moron, you can't carry the entire contents of the dungeon with you" without needing any explicit rules about how you can only carry one hundred and forty pounds per point of Strength modifier.

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Melissa G.

at 15:09 on 2010-02-03I think it would be awesome if instead of a message popping up saying, "You can't carry any more in your backpack", the game message did say, "Knock if off, moron, you can't carry the entire contents of the dungeon with you". Perhaps followed with a "Greedy bastard. Isn't it bad enough that you're robbing corpses!" :-)

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:48 on 2010-02-03

Arthur, are you saying I can't be a Minority Warrior because I'm a woman?!

In the immortal words of Eric Idle,

'Don't you oppress me!'

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 19:03 on 2010-02-04Some responses to the ME2 article Kyra posted:

Most of the actual criticisms seem fair enough. It would be nice if the levels weren't so clearly delineated between "combat area" and "walking-through area". It would be nice if the mission structure were changed up a bit. His suggestions generally seem reasonable.

Then he gets to the actual analysis, and it's like "This game basically blows and I can't believe anyone is dumb enough to like it, GOOD JOB bioware for blinding all the sheeple and dumbing down your game." Seems like he, too, is happily trumping up a game for the sake of an extreme byline.

It would also be really nice if people could criticize games without calling it "dumbed down". It's been part of the descriptive vocabulary for Deus Ex 2, Mass Effect 2, Modern Warfare 2, Bioshock, and really virtually any game that's gone from a PC background onto a console. Even in the case of Mass Effect, that started life on a console. Even if I buy into the idea that a more complex and difficult game is necessarily a better one, the overtly hostile elitism is incredibly distasteful.

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Rude Cyrus

at 19:38 on 2010-02-04I’m really enjoying Mass Effect 2 so far, and I agree with Kyra’s criticisms. Jack always rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps because she came off as dangerously psychotic, as opposed to, say, Grunt, who was merely antisocial. As creepy as the scene between Shepard and Jack was, I’m not sure you can call it a sex scene, considering they kept their clothes on the entire time. :P

Anyway, my new favorite character has to be Mordin: he initially comes off as a mad scientist-type, but he’s actually quite nuanced. One of the stranger (and more hilarious) moments of the game comes when he makes an offhand remark about singing in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera. When you ask about this, he launches into the Mass Effect version of the Major General song. When it was finished, I sat there for about 12 minutes and muttered “what the fuck” over and over.

As for the article posted in the Playpen -- yeah, I don’t like it, but I’d like to address one of the criticisms: in the “Bring Down the Sky” DLC for the first game, there’s an instance where the aliens do speak their own language, and a codex entry informs us that languages are translated via a subdermal implant, or something like that.

Oh, and I agree that the Paragon/Renegade choices are much smoother.

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at 19:42 on 2010-02-04Mordin is great. I was totally fascinated by his personal attempts to wrestle with the morality of the genophage. Plus he's just fun to listen to.

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Wardog

at 21:17 on 2010-02-04Mordin is fantastic - I'm looking forward to his operatic interlude.

Which reminds me. Amused: did you see the advert for all-Elcor Hamlet?

Garrus is still my homie though. I have no idea what the magic is but he's my favourite video game character ever. Possibly it's the buddy cop movie feel, or his voice acting, or the fact I can now I get it on with him (neither of us crying) but, yeah, Garrus for President!

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Rude Cyrus

at 22:03 on 2010-02-04The game also has, I think, a single example of an actual female krogan. It's easy to miss, but I was still floored.

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Wardog

at 09:31 on 2010-02-05Zomg! WHERE?!!

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:49 on 2010-02-05On Tuchanka, in the shaman's room, is a krogan named Natorth. She talks about being an envoy to the female clans and basically threatens you every time you prompt her. Like I said, easy to miss.

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at 22:24 on 2010-02-05

..there seems to be no understanding of how far are we meant to buy Subject Zero's rhetoric, how far she buys it herself, and to what extent it is rhetoric. I like the second trailer more than the first because she seems genuinely psychotic and dangerous – which puts her on par with most of the rest of the cast - as opposed to the first trailer which depicts her as somebody ultimately fearful and pretending.

The fact that she has killed many people and has no reservation of killing, completely disproves any notion that her killer persona is a pretense. Who cares why she kills, she does, and that alone makes her dangerous and worthy of respect.

I can understand that you don't like her character, but don't try and belittle her. You'd just be underestimating her and that would get you killed. (If she was a real person..since we're comparing her to a real person)

I finally played through the game as male Shepard, so I've seen a different side of Jack (initially I finished the game as the female Shepard).

Maybe the one thing you and others are forgetting is that Shepard is a peerless warrior and leader. Savior of the galaxy, more than once. It only makes sense that Jack would have more respect for him than any other person in her life. And ultimately fall in love. I also imagine she views him as non-threatening, which fosters her attraction to him.

I will concede that I was surprised in

how

she falls in love with Shepard. I suppose for the sake of brevity in the game, the entire process happens in a few scenes. She opens up to him far too quickly.

..but this is absolutely the most destructive and repulsive male fantasy there is. The supposedly 'strong' woman who is actually broken and helpless and just needs a male shoulder to cry on. Because, yes, a woman who weeps while you stick it to her is a real turn on. Don't get me wrong, I understand this fantasy. We all want to save women, especially from the cruelty of other men (see nice guy syndrome) but at least I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge it has absolutely nothing to do with women, and is incredibly, unspeakably unhealthy.

I could care less about what fantasies people have. It's when you allow fantasies to negatively affect/interfere with your life, is when it becomes problematic.

Also, when it comes to saving women or being protective of them, I think it has more to do with a subconscious (and irrational) perception of women as our daughters. Which would explain why men often perceive women as weak. The protective feeling also has no sexual motivation, at least for me, which also corroborates that theory. Weakness in a woman provokes a feeling of tenderness from me, as I see it as an opportunity to show kindness.

Oh and, I never saw her weeping when they were kissing. She only teared up once, initially, after speaking to Shepard. And I can't imagine they were having intercourse either, with their clothes on. Forgive me for saying but that seems like an odd inference. Maybe I'm old fashioned but in that situation, and just in general, I expect a little more foreplay involved before sexual intercourse.

The 'renegade' way is to get it on with Subject Zero is to shaft her against a bulkhead as soon as the opportunity arises – she will then discard you because you've proven yourself just another using manslut. The disturbing implication of this is, therefore, that Subject Zero doesn’t actually like sex – otherwise she’d be perfectly happy to keep fucking you, in this cheerful, no strings attached way.

Or maybe she hoped for more from him and was disappointed. And maybe she feels that as much as she could use him for sex, he would also be using her, which that renegade action made abundantly clear. It also says a lot about what Shepard thinks of her, if he is more concerned with screwing her body than getting to know the person standing in front of him. Maybe she realizes this insult, consciously or not, and feels compelled to deny him the pleasure of sex even if it means not gratifying herself.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4

at 22:38 on 2010-02-05The paragon romance scene also goes to show that you never truly know someone. Often people keep their true feelings and their true self hidden. Until they meet the right person(s).

I also don't consider what happened between them to define Jack. It's a far stretch to say that one moment contradicts everything she has done in her life, or who she is.

I wouldn't consider a misanthrope, who found one person worthy of trust and respect, to immediately find all people worthy of some trust and respect. Jack is still the same killer, but as I hinted at before, compromise is intrinsic to love. I think she would always remain distrusting and hostile to people, unless in conflict with their relationship (such as Shepard's friends). I think this is just her fundamental nature, and some things a person can never change about themselves.

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Arthur B

at 22:48 on 2010-02-05

Who cares why she kills, she does, and that alone makes her dangerous and worthy of respect.

Because if you're a killer, you can't also be wracked with doubt and fear.

Also, when it comes to saving women or being protective of them, I think it has more to do with a subconscious (and irrational) perception of women as our daughters.

Because being paternalistic is so much better than being horny.

Maybe she realizes this insult, consciously or not, and feels compelled to deny him the pleasure of sex even if it means not gratifying herself.

Because women are the gatekeepers of sex who ration it out to men if they feel that the men are deserving.

Wow.

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Wardog

at 23:52 on 2010-02-05

(If she was a real person..since we're comparing her to a real person)

I'm not, I'm analysing her, and what her character implies, as a literary construct.

I could care less about what fantasies people have. It's when you allow fantasies to negatively affect/interfere with your life, is when it becomes problematic.

I refer you to your own comment here: "Weakness in a woman provokes a feeling of tenderness from me, as I see it as an opportunity to show kindness." It's kind of sad you need women to show 'weakness' in order to be kind to them; and that you need to use the vulnerability of others to make yourself feel better.

nd I can't imagine they were having intercourse either, with their clothes on. Forgive me for saying but that seems like an odd inference. Maybe I'm old fashioned but in that situation, and just in general, I expect a little more foreplay involved before sexual intercourse.

Err, lies on top of her, begins kissing her face and neck - and then it fades to black. I think that indicates forthcoming sexoring.

Again, this is entirely based on the notion that bad men want sex whereas woman want "something more." There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting physical gratification - it's not "an insult" between two consenting adults. Sex is not something men want and women give - it's an act of mutuality, whether it is based on desire or desire and love.

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Rami

at 06:16 on 2010-02-06

I don't know about you, but the idea of a dude who is so awesome that women's brains melt into loving submission around him sounds like a pretty dysfunctional portrayal of women in general. Worship != Love, y'know.

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Arthur B

at 14:28 on 2010-02-06Even if we take a very generous reading of me.yahoo.com's statement and interpret it as meaning that through his example Shepard inspires respect and loyalty in his/her allies (which isn't completely out there), there's still a

major

difference between respect and love. Love requires respect if it's going to function. But respect does not inevitably lead to love. People don't exist on a relationship continuum from "hatred" to "bonking".

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:35 on 2010-02-06Another indication (if we need another) that there's a categorical difference is that it's generally considered possible and healthy to admire and respect people you've never met, whereas (romantically) loving someone you've never met would be widely regarded as unhealthy or impossible.

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http://ibmiller.livejournal.com/

at 16:15 on 2010-02-07Sorry, random thought, but James Cameron's The Terminator seems built around the idea that loving someone you've never met it totally awesome. But then, I thought the first Terminator was really, really, um, dumb.

Now, admittedly, I am on rather a different ideological spectrum when it comes to gender issues than most of fb (e.g. I like Twilight, though not uncritically). Just want to say that before I comment further, so there's no confusion.

However, I really like the paragon romance with Jack (though I'm not sure I'd really want to play it - I like Tali more). While I see some of the problems of the victim syndrome, I'm not sure if it's necessarily a misogynistic impulse. I'm not really seeing how Jack (who is basically a bald River Tam, without the schizophrenia) learning to love is that different from, say, Katsa from Graceling (ducks). Both are extremely good at killing, both learn to open up emotionally, and both do so to men.

I'm not sure how I regard the idea that the tears are supposed to be a turn on. I don't think that's my reaction to them, as I saw them more as Jack finally trusting someone else instead of humiliation. However, I do see how loathsome and utterly vile nice guy syndrome is. I'm just not sure that this situation really fits that category.

Finally, I think that the Miranda scene is rather stupid - but then, I think Miranda is really, really annoying. I much prefer Tali or (from the first game) Ashley (though I could see how the latter is also open to similar charges, as her whole "I never felt good enough" backstory seems similar to the elements of Jack's backstory found objectionable).

(Side note: where I hang out, there's actually huge numbers of people who liked Kaiden - most of whom also liked Carth. Most of them are 30-40 year old female gamers, I think. Clarifying statement: I hope that my classification of those who like Carth doesn't dig me deeper in the hole I've no doubt I'm already in. I'm afraid it does, though. Nuts. Addendum: I really hope I don't come across quite as a completely arrogant idiot.)

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at 16:30 on 2010-02-07Hmmm, sorry for double posting, but I should clarify - my purpose in commenting is not that I have an axe to grind, but that I'm genuinely curious - I really don't see how Katsa and Jack are that different.

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Arthur B

at 18:10 on 2010-02-07Hmmm, the way I saw The Terminator I thought that Kyle was sort of boyishly obsessed with Sarah before he met her, but once they met there was in fact a sufficient spark which led to them falling in love. His confession is, after all, a confession, that comes about only once they have known each other for a while and he is opening up emotionally to her and she to him. His first words to her are, after all, "come with me if you want to live", not "I've loved you from afar for years! Come with me, your Time Stalker!"

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Rude Cyrus

at 07:48 on 2010-02-08I've finished ME2, and I haved to admit I have some mixed feelings about it, along with a few worries. First, it feels rather sparse in comparison to the first game -- the structure is basically "recruit people, do loyalty missions, do 3 other main plot missions, the end." It's surprisingly linear compared to its predecessor. Second, I'm worried that ME3 is going to be the same way. Bioware is trying to release ME3 in 2011, which is a surprisingly short development time, considering the first game came out in 2007. I fear they're going the Matrix/Pirates of the Caribbean route by developing both games at the same time. As you know the Matrix/PotC sequels were, well, kind of shit. I don't want that to happen with this franchise. I seriously love it.

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

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Wardog

at 16:35 on 2010-02-11@Ibmiller

Don't worry, I won't go off the deep-end :P

On the subject of Jack versus River ... I guess ... look at the series rather than the movie which attempted to tie up lose-ends in a rather unsatisfactory way, I would argue that the difference between Jack and River is that River is comprehensively broken in a way that seems unfixable. I mean, Simon looks after her, yes, but in a way that is delicately and ambiguously portrayed as not exactly being good for both of them. Nobody putting his cock in her and encouraging her to cry will make River 'better.' Nor is there ever any suggestion that what River needs to make her better is to have good ol girly cry about it, and rest her head on the chest of a strong man. (I love Firefly, by the way, River and Simon break my heart)

Also I think the difference between Katsa and Jack is that even though Katsa has issues with emotional (and physical) intimacy and has done some terribly violent things, her strength is unquestionably her own, unlike Jack. Katsa is badass because she is badass, not because she is broken.

Also I'm not sure comparing MEII and Graceling is entirely fair because they're such different mediums but I'll just re-quote my favourite line in the entirety of, well, romance actually:

He laughed “You may hunt for my food and beat me every time we fight, and protect me when we’re attacked, if you like. I’ll thank you for it.” “But I’d never need to protect you, if we were attacked. And I doubt you need me to do your hunting, either.” “True. But you’re better than I am, Katsa. And it doesn’t humiliate me.” He fed a branch to the fire. “It humbles me. But it doesn’t humiliate me.”

There's no element of this mutuality between Jack and the PC - Jack cries and opens herself to intimacy (and screwing), the PC doesn't. Of course, this is entirely a problem of the medium. Romances in computer games can only work in one direction, it's a big part of their limitation as a type of storytelling (although not necessarily as a type of interaction).

I'm probably not expressing myself very well - I am not against the idea of a character like Jack coming to express emotional imtimacy towards the PC, I think it's the juxtaposition of vulnerability / femininity / submission that kind of squicks me out. (I'm not against those things either by the way but I think they have to be explicit and acknowledged). There is no reason that Jack couldn't express her vulnerability and then for the characters to have ... you know ... rather less dodgy, weepy, violiny sex.

Actually if you compare it to, for example, the Tali scene it doesn't hold up well. I mean, Tali is clearly nervous (adorably nervous) and she babbles away until the PC reassures her. She's clearly quite emotionally vulnerable here as well - but when the PC removes her helmet she does this beautiful little thing where she's talking away and she just pounces on him and they kiss their way to silence. It's a lovely lovely little scene, because Tali is clearly entirely herself, healthy, consenting and *totally into you in a physical, sexual way*. Rock on.

I should probably have used Tali rather than Miranda - as I don't like Miranda either (hello ... personality pls?) but I wanted to compare human-against-human.

I also liked Ashley a lot, for what it's worth, and Carth. Does this officially make me 40 now? ;) I don't know why Kaiden didn't work since they're quite similar characters and even have the same VA. There's just something fundamentally decent about Carth, even if he does keep whinging about his dead wife.

And, no, you don't come across as an arrogant idiot - I suspect this whole article makes me sound like I'm frothingly obsessed with gender/sex issues.

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Wardog

at 16:39 on 2010-02-11@Cyrus

I kind of stalled at the end of the loyalty missions - I know exactly what you mean about the sense of linearity. Tbh, linear stories don't bother me but it's a little bit *too* all happening in one room-ish. I remember the first time I landed on the Citadel my tiny mind was completely blown by this vast vast place with all the aliens in it. But there's nothing like that to compare in MEII. I mean Omega is basically just a bar and some shops. There's no sense of this sprawling underworld of crime. I can't believe that such a vast galaxy feels so dinky.

I guess it's problematic since they're essentially burdening themselves with huge trailing tendrils of story as they go along but ... but ... I miss the vastness of spaaaaace.

I will finish it though because, like you, I am still crazily in love with the games.

And also with Garrus.

And also with Mordin who might just be the best video game character EVER. I love his moral complexity.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4

at 19:27 on 2010-02-11

Err, lies on top of her, begins kissing her face and neck - and then it fades to black. I think that indicates forthcoming sexoring.

That's the beauty of "fade to black". And the other story elements in the game. It's "open ended", leaving the viewer to see

what they want to see

. How each person interprets a situation is very telling of their thoughts and feelings.

I didn't see that scene having enough passion to make it reasonable to assume they had sex. Maybe all they did was kiss and hug each other. She was distraught, after all, which as you said is a strange emotion to have while consenting to intercourse... And yet you made that assumption. Am I the only one that thinks that a man and woman can just "cuddle" and not require intercourse?

If they did have sex, the scene afterward, shouldn't they have their clothes OFF? Or at the very least be partially nude and covered in a blanket, to imply they had sex?

I said nothing of worship. Jack has a problem trusting anyone, and believes that everyone ultimately take interest in her or uses her, for their own selfish reasons. She even describes her feelings about the last time she fell in love. I think because of the

person

Shepard is, she is more inclined to open up to him emotionally, and out of all the people on that ship, it's for that reason that Shepard seems the most likely person she would fall in love with. Of course, not that I expect her to fall in love with him, I'm just saying it makes sense that she does.

Maybe she doesn't discard him or consider him a "manslut", nor is it evidence that she doesn't like sex. I think that when a person engages in casual sex, the intimate nature of the act can change the way each person feels about the other, namely their physical and emotional compatibility.

Also you assume that he would consent to having sex with her on more than one occasion. Maybe he just wanted to have a fling with her and really pursue someone else, like Miranda. Of course the limitations of the game wouldn't allow this, but it still seems plausible.

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http://ibmiller.livejournal.com/

at 19:55 on 2010-02-11Whew, I'm glad I didn't offend too badly. Thank you for such a thoughtful and helpful response - that does help clarify my questions.

I see what you're saying about River, though I'm curious how this explanation and contrast with Jack's storyline fits with River's only made better through her brother (a man's) actions (in series, at least, though in the movie it was sort of a reverse fridge thing), and her frequent crying in said man's arms (albeit certainly not sexual unless you really, really love squick). I agree that the sex thing seems a bit out of place if looked at as the actual healing action - though I think it's mostly an "awkward placement" thing (or can be), since I think it happens late in the game, and they may have been pressed for where else to put the two events (healing and sex).

I'm confused as the reason Katsa and Jack being badass is important - it isn't a choice on either of their part. It's just that Katsa is born with it, and Jack is experimented on. I actually have problems with the whole "superpowered empowerment" thing, since it's terribly unhelpful if you're trying to say something about the "real world" (and I think it's been analyzed on fb at least once before). I mean, even guys don't get much help from thinking "Well, Spider-man can cling to walls, so I will be a good dude and save people," so why would women say "Well, Buffy/River/Jack/Katsa have a demon/experiments/Grace and can defend themselves, so I will be a strong woman and hit people." Doesn't seem to make sense to me.

I think you highlight the real problem or dissonance between interpretations with your comments on medium problems. I personally would read and play the Jack romance with a lot of imagined scenes (that would be pretty unnecessary for the plot and game mechanics, so I don't think it's really a weakness on the game's part that they're not there) in which the main character also opens up (not only to Jack, but other characters) and is vulnerable. After all, one of the reasons I love BioWare games is that you need party members - I'm not a huge fan of FPS or other single-player games. I like the "interaction" (plus I got fed up with "the Chosen One" trope a long time ago).

However, I agree that the Tali romance plot and scenes rock. But I think the Jack ones aren't necessarily as misogynist - at least you don't have to play them as if they were. But then, I also like to handicap myself in RPG to "roleplay." Like playing KotOR with knives or pistols, just because, and then making up a backstory as to why, when the game is clearly geared towards lightsabers.

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http://rebootfromstart.livejournal.com/

at 19:45 on 2010-02-14

If they did have sex, the scene afterward, shouldn't they have their clothes OFF?

Just a little point here: you don't necessarily need to take your clothes off to have sex.

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Arthur B

at 11:15 on 2010-02-15Also, it's worth pointing out that "fade to black" has had a fairly consistent history of being used to indicate that sexual shenanigans of some nature are about to take place. Yes, it can be used to create a deliberate ambiguity. But it is just as often used - and in the sort of context we're talking about here, is almost

always

used - not to create ambiguity, but to quite unambiguously indicate that sex has occurred without actually showing it.

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Wardog

at 16:29 on 2010-02-15@Ibmiller

I hope you don't think it's a copout that I respond generally rather specifically to individual points - I guess I have real problems with the whole broken / bad-ass spectrum of female characters. I mean it's partially tied in with the Empowerment From Disempowerment aka Victim Dilemma that Dan writes about but I think it just ties in quite awkwardly with notions of strong women and their place in the world. I mean one of the reasons I really loved early season Buffy (before Joss Whedon got bitten by the feminist bug) is that early season Buffy is a genuinely strong female character - in that she kicks vampire ass AND simultaneously is a pretty blonde girl who wants a boyfriend and to be a cheerleader. Of course it's partially a joke (incongruity alert! this small blonde girl is KICK ASS!) but until the show went barging down A HERO MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND MAKE SACRIFICES AND OH BY THE WAY BUFFY IS TOTALLY WRECKED boulevard both aspects of her life had validity... and often you spent the episodes wondering if she would make the cheerleading squad ... oh and also kill the bad guy. I think that's a nice combination, personally. And, again, the thing I really like about early Buffy was that her powers, like getting bitten by a radioactive spider, were just something she had (before she had to get in touch with da spirits of de first slayer or whatever crack that was).

And the different between the broken badass empowered woman versus, say, Spiderman is that although Spiderman struggles to balance being a super-hero and being a normal guy, there's never any question that if he didn't have a moral duty to save people he'd be *fine*. The problems he faces in everyday life are not because, like, he's totally wrecked by his experiences with the spider but because he has chosen a life of ultimate self-sacrfice. You don't doubt for a moment that, if only he could, Mary Jane would be lucky to have him. Whereas with broken bad-ass chicks that which makes them bad-ass is also that which makes them non-fuctional as a person or, implied, as a woman.

I genuinely think the Jack Love Arc is not okay (although I do see your arguments why it might be) - it's not that there's anything per se wrong with a healing-through-lurve thingy, it's the fact that the cRPG format can offer no sense of reciprocity. And the fact he bones her while she cries. Dude. It just strikes me as *potentially* playing into a dodgy fantasy of emotional rescue - you know that the PC can't give her anything (like his cock) while she's "strong" only when she's weak and weeping.

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http://tristanjsstuff.blogspot.com/

at 04:24 on 2010-05-30Out of curiosity, what did you think of Shepard's and Jack's friendship? I've only played through 2 as Nice!Fem!Shepard, and she seemed more like she was trying to 'fix' Jack, and by the end of the game, it seemed more like Jack was on the road to recovery.

Also, I don't understand why Jack wanting closure by blowing the crap out of the hellhole she came from is 'touchy feely crap cause she's a woman'. Sounds like a perfectly understandable (if not reasonable or healthy) response.

Finally, what would you have thought if Jack had all the exact same backstory, personality, motivations and interactions, but was male? Again, I'm just curious.

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Arthur B

at 23:00 on 2010-07-23So I just beat Mass Effect 2. Thoughts:

- I played it as Asshole Shepherd, which is quite good for avoiding sexual creepiness towards Jack. The Renegade attitude towards her (when it doesn't involve trying to bone her) seems to involve a rugged determination not to enable her moping whilst letting her do what's necessary to work through her issues, which just seems miles healthier than "let me heal you with my dick". Either way, I was glad that completing her loyalty mission unlocks the option to make her wear a shirt.

- The loyalty missions could be a bit more diverse. It would be nice to have more which didn't end with the NPC in question confronting a character from their past and either killing them or not killing them. (I quite liked Thane's one for that reason actually).

- I was really impressed with the way they structured the suicide mission and the potential for major NPCs (and you) dying during it. Though apparently Zaeed is a suboptimal person to lead the B-team in the suicide mission, which seems... bizarre. You're told you need to pick someone who's used to leading a team. He once led a whole mercenary army. You'd think he'd be perfect for it.

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Arthur B

at 02:02 on 2010-07-25Double post because I forgot to mention something:

YOU CAN BUY

BOO

AND KEEP HIM IN YOUR CABIN

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Bookwyrm

at 05:08 on 2013-07-05I have a couple questions. When you said Jack was a "pseudo-badass" were you just referring to the story or were you including the game play too? According to

TV Tropes

, Jack is one of the weaker characters despite being touted as one of the most powerful human biotics in the cut scenes.

I haven't played the game myself so I wanted to know if she was at least useful in combat(if you used her at all). Also, what did you think her character in Mass Effect 3?

(Personally I'd like to know how someone with an extensive criminal record and clear psychological issues managed to get a teaching job at Grissom Academy within six months.)

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http://arilou-skiff.livejournal.com/

at 11:59 on 2013-07-05^ Companions don't make that much of a differenc really, pick the one you're most comfortable with.

"- I was really impressed with the way they structured the suicide mission and the potential for major NPCs (and you) dying during it. Though apparently Zaeed is a suboptimal person to lead the B-team in the suicide mission, which seems... bizarre. You're told you need to pick someone who's used to leading a team. He once led a whole mercenary army. You'd think he'd be perfect for it."

He's also the guy whose team always ends up either dead or betraying him :p

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Arthur B

at 12:15 on 2013-07-05

He's also the guy whose team always ends up either dead or betraying him :p

True enough, but the more distance on it I get the more the suicide mission's underlying assumptions and logic seems counter-intuitive and oblique and impenetrable. Which is good if you want people to occasionally die apparently arbitrarily for reasons the player can't fathom, except that really doesn't seem to have been what Bioware were aiming for.

Possibly this is a side effect of me preferring to ignore

ME2

these days, partly because in retrospect I see bits of

ME3

stuff creeping in there (like the weird way it makes you want to consider Cerberus stuff important but then refuses to let you actually interact with it in any interesting fashion) and partly because my peak of enthusiasm for the series was at the end of

ME1

, where it felt like there was still a whole universe out there to explore and the story could go

anywhere

from that point.

#Ferretbrain #Wardog #Video games #Mass Effect #Mass Effect II

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