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rhaenella · 2 years ago

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You & Me - Rhys Montrose x Reader - Part 7

Part 6 | Part 8

Summary: What happens when reader assassin is tasked with killing the possible future mayor of London; Rhys Montrose. Politician by day, Eat the Rich Killer by night. But he isn’t the only person wearing different masks.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Violence, murder, immoral sociopathic behaviour, mentions of alcoholism, drug abuse and neglect, (eventual) smut

Word count: 4k

A/N: at the end.

Song: Meet Me In the Woods – Lord Huron

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Y/N, I’m positive.”

You had just ‘finished up’ Roald’s crime scene that no longer looked like a crime scene. Nevertheless, it was still horrendous and gut-wrenching. It hadn’t affected you much though as you and Rhys wordlessly divided the tasks, working in sync like you’d done this a dozen times before. Rhys had taken care of Roald’s shackles, making sure there were no bruises, as well as cleaning himself up. He had taken off his sweater, leaving him in only a black tee, using his sweater to wipe off the blood from his face. Then he’d folded the well-crafted suicide note and put it in Roald’s right hand. Meanwhile, you had made sure the blood spatter pattern was even and consistent before carefully placing the gun in Roald’s other hand. You checked with Rhys to confirm Roald had been a lefty, and thank God he was.

It was nearing 4 AM by the time you left Roald behind, all your knives once more strapped to your body. Besides handing you your knives back, Rhys had also given back your phone and lock-picks. You tried turning on your phone but it wasn’t responding, the battery dead, so you asked Rhys for the time. Bloody hell, you thought, realising you had been unconscious for almost the entire day before you had woken up to Rhys in that prison cell. You promptly blamed it on your 27-hour sleep deprivation. Another one of Lockwood’s crimes against humanity added to the list.

Speaking of Lockwood — his deadline for killing Rhys had officially passed. You felt like an outlaw, waiting for the forces to come and get you. You’d wish them good luck. You would never surrender that easily, and fortunately for you, you now had another person with you. One who had made it perfectly clear that he was going to look after you when he’d unapologetically shot the man daring to insult you. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that it had caused a warm type of sensation to flow through you, settling somewhere low.

The moment you stepped outside and breathed in the crisp early summer night, you sighed in relief. It was a stark contrast to the stale atmosphere in the prison cell. Yet, you couldn’t escape the nagging feeling you felt concerning the placement of the gun in Roald’s hand. Rhys had already ensured you back inside that the police and forensics team wouldn’t check for any residue evidence. But you couldn’t let it go, hence why you brought it up again as you walked side by side in the grass, avoiding the crunching gravel.

“I thought the sweep was standard protocol,” you said, chewing your lip.

“It’s not anymore. Budget cuts,” Rhys explained, trying to settle your unease at the possible prospect of the police not finding a single trace of gun-shot residue on Roald’s hand, meaning he couldn’t have possibly pulled the trigger himself — meaning it was no suicide, it had only been masked as such.

“They only perform the tests when the situation is questionable. And trust me, no one will be surprised Roald is the killer. Besides, I’d say we made it look pretty damn convincing, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, especially your note. We would make excellent stage directors,” you teased, trying to shake off your doubts in the process.

“Say no more, I do know someone on the West End.”

You stifled a laugh, looking over at Rhys to your right, noting he did the same. This morbid, post-murder clean-up banter between you two strangely feeling as natural as breathing. You still had to be quiet though, not wanting to wake up anyone inside the manor at this ungodly hour, or potentially alert security.

The thought made you pause, Rhys glancing over his shoulder to see you had stopped walking. He shot you a questioning look as he strode back over to you, his eyes flitting over your face. “What is it?”

“Your security,” you said, narrowing your eyes at him.

“What about them?”

“They were surprisingly easy to slip past last night. Did you possibly have something to do with that?” You accused lightly.

You didn’t require a verbal response from him, Rhys’ smirk confirming what you had already expected. “Unbelievable,” you murmured.

“What would you have wanted me to do, then?” Rhys threw up his arms in faux-exasperation, the amusement written clearly on his moonlit face. “I couldn’t exactly risk them catching you now, could I?”

You shook your head at him, smiling. Why did this feel so natural? So normal? You pondered.

Looking up at Rhys, you noticed his fond little smile slowly fade, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. Had he just wondered the same thing?

You both considered the other for a long minute. He’d apparently been following you for the last couple of months, but he was still trying to learn how to accurately read you. You got the distinct feeling he wanted to understand your every thought and feeling, laying you completely bare for only him to see. It was the kind of vulnerability that you had never allowed before — not to anyone. In spite of that, you felt the same towards Rhys. That aching feeling to want to figure him out, which you’d felt so readily during your first conversation, had never left you. You were sure Rhys was just as reluctant about letting anyone in as you. But you were both also painfully aware that this equal partnership could only work when you both let the other person enter the impenetrable fortress that was your soul.

You were the first to break the silence when you could no longer endure the tension of his scrutiny. “I still need to retrieve my bag with my things.”

“Sure,” Rhys said, shaking off your little moment. “Where have you stashed it?”

“Behind that bush over there,” you said, pointing in the approximate direction.

You got there quickly and you immediately bent down to pull out your small but very compact duffle bag. You unzipped it and threw your phone in the bag — it was currently of no use to you with the battery dead. Thankfully, you knew London like the back of your hand and you had the route to and from Hampsbridge House memorised. The absence of your phone’s navigation system would thus not be felt.

You had mutually decided that you needed to get back to London ASAP. Rhys would stay behind, having to play the role of innocent bystander. He would excuse himself as soon as the situation would allow him. You agreed he would then meet you at your apartment the moment he was back in the city. There was much to discuss.

“What an excellent vantage point of my bedroom you’ve got from here,” Rhys commented wryly from where he stood behind you.

You looked up at the house from your crouched position before returning your attention to trying to find the bloody car keys to your rental that you had parked a safe distance away in the woods.

“Well, obviously. Or did you think me an amateur?”

“Never.”

You were about to say something else but the words died in your throat as you felt Rhys’ body suddenly diving on top of yours, his large hand reaching for your mouth to keep you from crying out in surprise. You laid awkwardly over your duffle, your cheek flat into the grass as Rhys kept you pinned down.

“Don’t move,” he ordered from where his face was pressed into your shoulder. You paled. Like hell you would.

In a flash you pushed back your right shoulder with all the strength you could muster. Rhys winced as you had hit him squarely in the face. Using that momentum, you simultaneously bit down on his hand hard and elbowed him in the ribs, making his grip on you automatically slacken. You turned onto your back underneath him and grabbed his neck forcefully, nails digging in as you kneed him in the groin.

Rhys groaned, baring his teeth as he moved the hand you had bitten to grab a hold of your wrist. But he wasn’t quick enough when you used the grip you still had on his neck to bring down his head with force. You successfully head-butted him, making him stagger backwards, landing on his knees. He tried to regain his balance as you fished out the knife you had re-strapped to your ankle earlier. You were about to advance when he held up his hands in surrender.

“Y/N,” he heaved. “Bloody hell — wait.”

He glanced up at you from where he was still kneeling, hair falling in his face. You panted as you watched his chest also rise and fall in a rapid pace. Rhys grimaced from the impacts of your successive blows.

“I didn’t mean to startle you. Or hurt you,” he rasped, clutching his lower ribs.

Your heart rate was up, adrenaline coursing through your body. “Rhys, what the hell?” You hissed.

“Could you stop pointing that knife in my face?”

“No, not until you explain why the fuck you felt the need to jump me like that.”

“Jonathan,” Rhys said, directing his gaze to the manor for a moment. “I noticed him walking back to the house from where I had left him in the woods. I couldn’t let him see us. Or more specifically, you.”

Jonathan — Professor Jonathan Moore? You suddenly remembered Roald mentioning how he had thought Jonathan was the killer. Something about him having seen Jonathan move Gemma’s dead body. You realised Rhys had never actually explained that part of the story to you.

“What the fuck does he know that you felt the need to do that?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Rhys sighed, running a hand down his face.

“I met Jonathan a couple weeks ago at Sundry House,” he began without opposing you, accurately gathering you wouldn’t let this go.

And that’s when Rhys succinctly explained to you the whole Jonathan Moore situation — or should you call him Joe? From Malcolm’s body in Jonathan’s kitchen all the way to what had transpired earlier. Apparently, Kate and Jonathan had found Gemma’s body and decided the best approach would be to get rid of her. Christ, were the rich all psychopaths? Although Jonathan wasn’t rich. No, he was a plain ol’ university professor — one who lectured your sister. What a bloody mess.

Ultimately, Roald had spotted Jonathan with Gemma’s body outside the manor and he had placed him under citizen’s arrest, so to speak. Roald then decided to play judge, jury and executioner — going after Jonathan with a rifle, steering him into the woods. He’d almost killed Jonathan had it not been for Rhys sneaking up to him and hitting him in the back of the head with a large log. When Rhys walked over to where Jonathan laid on his back, he had gotten a glimpse of Rhys before he’d kicked Jonathan in the face. Rhys had left Jonathan unconscious in the woods, opting to take Roald back with him and pin all the murders on him.

You remained silent for a moment when Rhys finished. In the meantime, you had put down the knife. You rubbed your temple, feeling a headache form. What impossible situation had you found yourself in…

“So why didn’t we also just kill Jonathan? Kill two birds with one stone, literally. He obviously knows too much. He knows you’re the killer, now.”

“Because I have other things in mind for him,” Rhys answered, cryptic.

“Would you care to elaborate on that? What the hell does that even mean?”

Rhys moved towards you, slowly this time, balancing on a single knee as he took your hands in his from where you also still kneeled next to your duffle.

“Listen to me,” he said earnestly. “I will tell you everything, I promise. But we can’t do that here. You need to leave before anyone discovers Roald, before the cavalry arrive.”

His eyes pleaded with you, genuine concern in them. You looked down at your intertwined hands. Rhys’ touch grounding you after that little incident, calming the rage that had flooded you when you thought for a moment that it had all been a ploy. You hadn’t been scared of Rhys before, and you weren’t now. But what had scared you was the possibility of this bond you felt being a deception — that it wasn’t real.

“Okay,” you said, choosing to believe him. “But promise me one more thing.”

“What?”

“Don’t ever — and I mean ever — startle me like that again. Because I will shoot you.”

“Understood,” he said, squeezing your hands.

You both looked up at the same time as you noticed a few lights turn on inside Hampsbridge House. Probably Jonathan.

“We need to get you out of here, come on,” Rhys said, straightening to his full height, letting go of your hands.

You pressed your lips together at the loss of his touch before finally retrieving your car keys and zipping up your bag. You stood and flung the duffle bag over your right shoulder, following Rhys. When you reached the edge of his security’s outside perimeter, he held out his hand in front of you, forcing you to stop and turn to him.

“Us separating is going to be our first step in building trust.”

Trust, the crucial and terrifying five-letter word.

“We’ve clearly got a long way to go,” you huffed.

“Ah, you could say that,” Rhys agreed, inclining his head. He briefly broke eye contact when he looked down, the muscle in his jaw appearing as he clenched it. A sense of determination overtook him. Then he rolled back his head to look you in the eyes again, taking one self-assured step towards you, stepping into your space.

“I will see you in a couple of hours. And don’t worry, I’ll make it up to you,” Rhys promised, his voice low.

You nodded, softly biting your lip. The action made him glance down at your lips, his pupils dilating perceptibly. And with that, Rhys turned on his heels to walk back towards Hampsbridge House, simultaneously taking the first step in your thus far fragile trust. You readjusted the strap of your duffle bag on your shoulder, silently watching him disappear in the distance for a minute before turning in the opposite direction. It was time to go home.

––

The clock in your living room chimed exactly ten times the moment you stepped foot in your apartment. The trip back had taken you longer than you’d initially hoped. By the time you arrived in London, your first stop was to return the rental car. Since your go-to rental place — they easily accepted cash, no questions asked — was almost on the complete opposite side of the city, it had taken you a while to get home through the start of London rush-hour. Now, you were just in desperate need of a shower. And possibly a nap. But whatever, sleep was for the dead, right?

You knew Rhys was likely on his way to you right now. In the car, you’d turned on the local radio station and had already noted them reporting on an incident that had occurred at Hampsbridge House. News travelled fast. You wondered if it had anything to do with a certain impatient, blue-eyed politician who had made it very clear he wanted to be near you again as soon as possible.

You got your phone out of your duffle and grabbed the charger, plugging it in. Then you turned on the tv absentmindedly before heading straight for your shower. You could faintly hear the mentioning of Hampsbridge House on the news channel when you let the water run.

You moaned as your body with all its aching muscles made contact with the hot water. In the past 48 hours your body had been through a lot. You had been chilled to the bone, drugged, shackled, slept on the thinnest and most uncomfortable mattress known to mankind, and then of course had thrown a couple of punches. You didn’t feel bad for Rhys, though. He had it coming.

The man had to learn you could fend for yourself and that you wouldn’t simply be man-handled into any situation. Afterwards, you didn’t think that had been his intention. Perhaps it was just a surge of fear and protectiveness he had felt for you.

You reeled a little at the fact you had actually chosen to work with the man who had been the cause of most of your hardship the past few days. Your conscience was still scolding you for that in the back of your mind. But every other part of you tried to convince yourself it was okay. That this was somehow the right choice. You usually had a finer equilibrium when it came to your head and feelings. Apparently, Rhys was able to cause quite the interference on that mind-body connection within you, that fact in and of itself being slightly alarming. All of this was completely unknown territory you treaded in, for both of you.

One step at a time, you reminded yourself.

First, back to the basics. Lockwood didn’t know who you were, so that would still buy you both some time to plan and get it right. Fuck, you were really doing this. And if you were doing this, you knew you had to go all the way. Which meant that it wouldn’t stop after Lockwood. No, you weren’t that ignorant. You had seen the look in Rhys’ eyes. Lockwood would only be the beginning.

When you got out of the shower and changed into some fresh new clothes, the first thing you did was check your phone. It had been well over a day since you had last checked it. You grabbed it from the kitchen cabinet where you had left it to charge and unplugged it.

After you entered your passcode, the screen lit up with a few messages from your best friend — yes, you actually had a friend, Claire. You’d met during college and had always stayed in touch. She was really the only other person besides your sisters you were able to tolerate for an extended period of time. Though, you hadn’t spoken to her since you got back from Canada. You read through her messages, proposing to meet up for lunch soon. You were about to answer them but scrolling further made your heart stop.

Six missed calls. From Zoe.

A feeling of sudden dread overcame you. Zoe never tried to call you this many times when she knew you were away for work. Her and Sadie knew better than to disturb you during work. You always blamed a stern boss for that, but really you just needed to be radio silent when stalking and murdering your target. Because of that, Zoe either texted you or in a case of an emergency send you a text and make one phone call to let you know there was something up. This far exceeded that. On top of that, you hadn’t received a single text.

Without hesitating you pressed call. You paced into your living room, hearing the dial tone continue until, after thirty excruciating seconds, it stopped. She hadn’t picked up. Fuck. You tried Sadie’s number, but that was also a dead end. You were about to throw something out of sheer frustration when you stopped dead in your tracks, the images on your tv demanding your attention.

You stood completely frozen in shock, bulging eyes transfixed on your tv as you watched the news footage of what was evidently your childhood home going up in flames. You recognised the street and the neighbouring houses, but also your sister’s bike that was chained to the fence in front of the house that was currently engulfed in a fire. The hand holding your phone slowly dropped to your side.

The footage showed how the windows had all been blown out. Raging flames and thick black smoke emerging from inside. The light-yellow colour of your childhood home’s front was now turning a dark grey from all that smoke. At least a dozen firefighters were running around, trying to control the fire. There was no doubt inside of you that this all-consuming blaze would destroy anything and anyone inside.

No, no, no. This cannot be happening. This cannot be happening.

“Firefighters are trying everything they can to save neighbouring houses but the flames are—” You tuned out, the rush in your ears preventing you from hearing the remainder of the news event’s account.

Zoe… Sadie…

You blinked back sudden tears. Had they made it out? They were both smart and alert — they had to have made it out. You glanced down at your phone that you were gripping so hard it was a miracle the device hadn’t yet shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Your sister had called six times. Which means they’d at least been awake at the time the fire had started, or shortly thereafter. But where were they now? They weren’t answering their phones, which didn’t help your anxiety one bit.

Your instincts finally kicked in and pulled you out of your frozen state. Without another thought, you ran for the door, nearly overturning a lamp when you hastily grabbed your keys and purse with trembling hands. You’d barely heard the front door close behind you as you were already sprinting down the stairs. When you made it down, you quickly rounded the corner, almost running straight into someone. You staggered back, holding out your arm to the wall for support.

“Christ almighty, Y/N. Where are you off to in such a rush?”

Rhys’ voice brutally snapped you out of your single-minded focus to just go. He was holding two cups of steaming coffee and a brown paper bag filled with, presumably, your ‘make-up’ breakfast in his left hand, keys dangling in his other. He wore a lazy smile that slowly fell off his face when he noticed the downright trepidation in your body language.

“What happened?” Rhys asked, alarmed.

You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. Within a second Rhys was there, practically dropping the coffee and paper bag on the old carpet. His hands landed on your shoulders whilst he dipped his head to your eye level, demanding your focus with a single imploring look.

“I— I need to go,” you stammered. “It’s, I just— please.”

Diverting your gaze, you glanced over his shoulder at your apartment building’s front door. There was no time.

“Hey, look at me, Y/N. Look at me. Breathe,” Rhys soothed. You squeezed your eyes shut, taking one deep shuddering breath before opening them to recast your attention to Rhys.

“Good girl. Now, tell me what happened,” he said, Rhys’ calm and steady voice currently your only lifeline to sanity.

“There has been a fire in my childhood home. My sisters live there,” you said, your voice slightly cracking at the end. “They tried to call me but my phone was dead and I just saw it only now, it’s on the news channel, and—” Rhys cut off your rambling by pressing you to him, wrapping his strong arms around you.

Your vision blurred a little, tears threatening to spill once more. You didn’t normally get this emotional, but they were your sisters. Yours to protect. And now you might have failed them. Your mother — that fucking piece of shit. If she was the cause behind all of this…

Let’s just say that to voice those next thoughts would be too brutal, even for you.

Rhys slowly nodded to himself as he leaned back from your embrace, not fully letting you go. You noticed his jaw set and the vein in his neck pulse. He undoubtedly had the same thoughts about your mother as you had. Rhys moved his hand from your shoulder to your sweaty palm in one smooth motion, squeezing reassuringly as he laced your fingers.

“Come on,” he beckoned as he pulled you along towards your apartment’s entrance. You felt the tiniest bit of tension lift, knowing Rhys wouldn’t let you face whatever awaited you alone.

––––

A/N: I did warn you about the drama, didn’t I?

A little update on the total number of parts this fic will be: uhm so I’ve been planning out all of the plotlines that I want to incorporate in this story and the total number of chapters currently comes down to 25… Remember when I said this was supposed to be a one shot way back? Yeah, that one aged well. I just have too many (fun) ideas and things in mind for our fave couple. Let me know if there’s something you’d really like to see happen in this fic and who knows… maybe I can work something out :)

#rhys montrose x reader #rhys montrose x female reader #rhys montrose fanfic #rhys montrose fic #rhys montrose #you netflix #you season 4 #you season 4 canon divergence #jonathan moore #joe goldberg #goldrose #ed speleers #rhys montrose x original female character #on ao3 #you and me

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saradika · 1 year ago

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hi babes! this looks so fun! may i get 🌠 and congrats on the milestone!🖤🖤🖤🖤

ahh thank you so much and hello my beautiful, lovely friend! ✨ I would love to make something for you - here are 3 things that I associate with you!

Picking out constellations with a loved one beneath the stars - making those small discoveries together, hands clasped together on a spread-out blanket

The perfect crispness of a fall day - that ache in your lungs when you breath in the chilly air but you’re wearing your fave sweater and off to get coffee and there’s nothing you’d change about it

Beloved movies (ones like Practical Magic and Jurassic Park. Much like your writing - they bring comfort not from just the memories but how truly wonderful and timeless they are)

And I wanted to do a little extra, so I also made you a little summer-going-into-fall witchy playlist with some of my fave songs. I hope you like it! 🎶💕

— dream this night away

Season of the Witch by Lana Del Rey

Lavender Moon by Haroula Rose

Ophelia by The Lumineers

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

Practical Magic by Alan Silvestri

Sisters of the Moon by Fleetwood Mac

Which Witch by Florence + the Machine

Harvest Moon by Lord Huron

———

[saradika’s sleepover celebration - closed]

#hope you’re having a great week! 💖#moonlight-prose #saradika’s sleepover celebration

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teejaystumbles · 2 years ago

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about me

I wasn't tagged but @landwriter said anyone should do it, sooooo I will! I don't care if you don't care, but I like talking about myself! (usually don't do that since I'm an introvert irl)

Nickname: don't have one, since they sound stupid mostly, so it's just Tashina (which is my real name)

Sign: Saggitarius, Ascendent Scorpio - gpassionate, idealistic and helpful, yeah I guess that's correct

Height: 176 cm

Last thing I googled: 'astronomy for children - I wanted to get a tiny planetarium model to better show to my daughter how the earth moves around the sun, but the models available are too expensive or time-consuming to build so I didn't buy anything ^^;

Song stuck in my head: God rest ye merry gentlemen >.>

Number of followers: 1740

Amount of sleep: 6 1/2hrs

Dream job: comic artist or art appreciator who simply promotes other's awesome work to the world

Wearing: cotton tights because nothing is as comfortable as a second layer of "skin", a knitted sweater and an oversized floor-length black cardigan for warmth that I'll wrap all around me like a cocoon. Thick felt shoes my husband got me because I literally got blue toes even with three pair of socks and the heating turned up

Movies/books that summarize you: summarize me as in "describe me", or "shaped me"? if we say both then it's The Neverending Story (the book). I am on a quest to find myself and earn forgiveness and insight in the mysteries of why we are even alive and what's truly important, like everybody else. On my bad days I also feel a lot like Dream, but without the convenient vanishing options, so The Sandman.

Favorite song: changes, right now Cassandra by Florence and the Machine, also When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

Favorite instrument: cemballo, gives me Hannibal as well as good medieval vibes, I can choose regarding to mood

Aesthetic: that weird adult that obviously had a goth/rock phase some 15 years ago and didn't throw away any band shirt ever and on some days emerges like trying to look like the cool hipster kids today (I do not use that term correctly probably because I'm old and not into fashion) with oversized shirts and too short jeans, plus fandom things thrown in that are not obvious to outsiders like a blue jacket plus correct shade of converse that Ten wore. currently more goth again because Dream aesthetic for the win, I wanna loiter under streetlights with my black cloak and be all mysterious and stoic

Favorite authors: David Mitchell, Neil Gaiman (obviously), honestly moorishflower because their writing is awesome!

Random fun fact: I am a mother. Does that count? I'm not that good at "knowing" myself or my surroundings, I spend too much time in my head

I tag: whoever wants to do this as long as you promise to @ me so I can be nosy!!!

#about me #meme

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jojameswinter · 2 years ago

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I’m going around asking blogs if they have any songs that remind you about Jiara or songs that’s seem like they’ve been written for them I want to make a playlist 🥰

What a super fun idea!!!! ❤️ Everything reminds me of them fslkdjflskdjf so I can make almost any song relate to jiara in some way 😂

Anyways! IDK where to start! So many goodies out there and I’m constantly shuffling in new songs/seeing new perspectives. A few off the top of my head: Dark Red-Steve Lacy, Bad Habit-Steve Lacy, Sweater Weather-The Neighbourhood, Amber-311, The Luckiest-Ben Folds, Apocalypse-Cigarettes After Sex, Ends of the Earth-Lord Huron, Rivers and Roads-The Head and the Heart, Sweet Nothing-Taylor Swift, Temporary Love-Ben Platt, Just Ask-Lake Street Dive, Yes to Heaven-Lana del Rey, Just Breathe-Pearl Jam, Love & War in Your Twenties-Jordy Searcy, Until I Found You-Em Beihold & Stephen Sanchez

Lots off the OBX soundtracks! A few here: Never in My Wildest Dreams-Dan Auerbach (jarah b's song, but it makes me think of jiara too), Montezuma-Fleet Foxes (again, jarah b's song, but also makes me think of jiara), King of a One Horse Town-Dan Auerbach

You’ll have to let me know what playlist you come up with!!!! ❤️

#jiara #ask #my asks #diana answers

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quaranmine · 2 years ago

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Ye, Grian didn't have as much in the merch department this year but I felt it mostly went into the sweater. I can't imagine what the production cost on knit would be compared to the usual stuff. But Scar always knocks it outta the park with the merch designs -🤖

i LOVE my swaggon jellie sweatshirt i got last year. scar's merch is SO good. the only reason i didn't buy any of this merch drop was that i also bought jimmy's hoodie and had previously recently gotten a lord huron hoodie and was like. well maybe i should chill for a moment. time will tell if i regret that or not!

yeah i have to say i've yet to be particularly enticed by any of grian's merch designs. they're not bad designs per se, just not something i specifically want? i want grian merch so bad ssldfjslkgj but i wont buy something unless i know i'll wear it specifically. i did once check sites like poshmark/depop to see if there were any sahara shirts still floating around out there but didn't find any :shrug: i think the christmas sweater is probably very nice quality and it was a complex design so i hope the people that ordered that end up liking it a lot :D

i've been impressed with the represent merch though, it seems like everything i've gotten from there has been nice and the designs from the CCs who use represent always seem very nice. even if it's not always something i'd specifically wear you know?

#quara asks #like i have two pieces of mumbo's S8 merch drop because the peace love and plants thing was my Vibe #my mcyt merch is: tubbo (tubboat) hoodie and crumb shirt/stickers and mumbo peace love and plants/sus=sustainable and scar swaggon merch #and now jimmy's solidarity hoodie #that's a fair amount haha

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kimdokjas · 2 years ago

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Hi Gaby! It's your ASS💖 again lol

How are you? I hope things are getting more calm😂😭

You picked such good quotes! I love all of those.

This weeks question is kind of long again, but you can choose how long of an answer you want to give!

What were your top five songs for the year? What are three songs that make you think of your favorite characters/ships?

I was thinking you could do three songs per character and per ship, or just choose the ones you want to do! Whatever you have time for, whatever comes to mind.

I hope you have a good week!

Love, Your ASS💖

hello my dear ASS 🥰 i'm so sorry for the late reply! (again 😭) i've been sick over the past week and it's been a struggle to get my braincells to cooperate lol but thankfully i feel a tiny bit better! what about you dear? i hope you're doing well!

oooh those are great questions! it's like making a tiny playlist for each one i love it. okay i def spent wayyy more time on this than i probably should have 😂 i kinda did more than 3 for some of them bc i got a bit inspired lol, this got kinda long so i'll put it under the cut!

~top five songs for the year~

Harvest Moon - Poolside

Fading - Vallis Alps

Saw You In A Dream - The Japanese House

Bridges - BROODS

0 (zero) - LMYK

~characters~

Kim Dokja

Smoke and Mirrors - Imagine Dragons

Headrest for My Soul - AWOLNATION

Constellations - The Oh Hellos

Good Riddance - Darren Korb, Ashley Barrett

Spaceman - The Killers

Katsuki Yuuri

Amsterdam - Imagine Dragons

Serity - Vallis Alps

Vienna - Billy Joel

Noé Archiviste

Claire de lune - Claude Debussy

Jardin - Pomme

Bleeding Out - Imagine Dragons

Todoroki Shouto

Leave It Alone - Hayley Williams

Natural - Imagine Dragons

Things We Lost In The Fire - Bastille

Matsuoka Rin

Ends of the Earth - Lord Huron

Melbourne - NEWCOAST

Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers

The Currents - Bastille

~ships~

Joongdok

Nothing Left To Say - Imagine Dragons

The Night We Met - Lord Huron

Inkpot Gods - The Amazing Devil

Lament of Orpheus - Darren Korb

The Story - Brandi Carlile

Meet Me in the Woods - Lord Huron

The Odds - Saybia

Dancing With Your Ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan

Poet - Bastille (bonus yoohankim vibes)

Vannoé

Ceux qui rêvent – Pomme

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

Always in My Head - Coldplay

Salvation - Gabrielle Alpin

Bite - Troye Sivan

Victuuri

Moscow - Autoheart

Crystals - Of Monsters and Men

Follow Me - Dean Fujioka

Crystal Clear - Hayley Williams

Call Me When You Land - Old Sea Brigade

Tododeku

Forest Fires - Axel Flóvent

The Kids Aren't Alright - Fall Out Boy

Sweater Weather - The Neighborhood

Impossible Year - Panic! At the Disco

The Only Exception - Paramore

Daiharu

Nothing But Gold - Marc Ferrari

Gold rush - Taylor Swift

Maybe You're the Reason - The Japanese House

Willow - Taylor Swift

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Matchablossom

Life in Technicolor ii - Coldplay

Stuck on the puzzle – Alex Turner

Still Into You - Paramore

I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) – Susan Egan

Hurricane - James Vincent McMorrow

i had so much fun with this omg. also i'm aware there's an alarming amount of imagine dragons here but i swear it fits 😭 i'm so proud of myself for some of these lmao especially the joongdok one as you can tell by the length 😂 i tried my best to choose according to both vibes and lyrics!

thank you so much for your message dear! i hope you have a lovely start of the week as well! please take care! 🥰❤

#ask #anonymous #animanga secret santa 💖#text

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cheneyq · 2 years ago

Text

Walk Away - Billy Hargrove × Plus size reader

Guys this could have a part two if you wanted it.

Short description - Reader has been dating Billy and he asks her to keep it a secret, his friends embarrass her at a party and they end up breaking up.

Pairing – Billy Hargrove x Plus Size Fem reader

Warnings – Swearing, Angst (or at least I tried), bullying, fatshaming, name calling – it’s just a mess.

Au Note – This is the first time in a while posting something on here, feedback would be great.

I do requests – My requests are open for all characters on Stranger Things and some Marvel characters.

Word count – uh, no idea to be honest?

Please enjoy and sorry if this is shite, literally wrote it in an hour and decided to post it, have been feeling all down in the dumps. Again, sorry if its terrible.

“(y/n), are you sure we were invited?” Sandy, my best friend asks. “And not just invited so they can make fun of us?” She added, nervously chewing on her bottom lip. I took a deep breath, looking at the house across the street to where Billy invited me, my Billy, my secret boyfriend for the past few months, Billy. ‘King of the school’, Billy.

“Billy gave me this address and a time-" Sandy cut me off, scoffing. “That asshole has been nothing but terrible to you since you started being lab partners.” Did I mention that she doesn’t know we’re dating? “And then he leaves this piece of paper in your locker, why? Because he wants to hang out? I think not, it’s a bad idea, I think we should go.”

Her words get to me, and not being able to tell her we’ve been dating for weeks now is a big deal, but I dont think he would invite me and then do something bad, would he?

“Okay, how about you wait in the car and I’ll go in quickly and be back out in like twenty minutes?” I try to negotiate with her, she’s thinking about it. “fine, but if you’re not out in twenty minutes or less I’m coming to get you.” I nod, watching as she walks back to the car. “Twenty minutes.” She yells after me.

I try to smile, to be amused by her but my nerves are getting to me. I adjust my sweater and pull it tight around my stomach, a terrible habit I needed to get rid of. “You can do this.” I try to give myself a pep talk but I’m failing, still, I manage to move my feet and before I know it I’m inside, pushing through people to get to the middle of the house, searching for those blonde locks.

I see him in the kitchen, talking to Meghan, a super skinny cheerleader in my maths class. She’s sitting on the counter in the kitchen with her legs wrapped around Billy's waist. I feel the jealousy burn through my body, followed along with a terrible hurt feeling.

Before I could process the fact that he’s leaning into her, talking directly in her ear with his hand landing on her hip, a pair of hands clamp around my shoulders.

“I fucking knew it!” Tommy H yells over my shoulder, pushing me towards the kitchen. “Carol, you owe me ten bucks.” I see Carol turn and we make eye contact while Tommy is still pushing me forward. Billy turns his attention away from Meghan and as soon as he sees me he steps away from her, sporting a very confused look on his face. A few of their other friends join us in the kitchen when Tommy shoves me a bit hard and I need to catch myself on the counter.

I feel unshed tears burning my eyes as I take in what’s happening. “See, I told you this fat loser is like, in love with Billy.” Carol says, turning to Meghan who scrunched up her nose while looking at me. “Disgusting.” She spits and everyone starts laughing, and to my surprise, so does Billy, but it somehow doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I should go.” I mumble, trying to turn to leave. “Already? But you just got here.” Tommy says, slinging his arm over my shoulder, hand grabbing so hard he’s probably going to leave a bruise. I try to pull away, “Come on man, you’re hurting her.” Another friend says who I recognize as Adam, a nicer one of the people surrounding me.

I see Billy’s eyes flash to my shoulder and then at Tommy’s face, he looks like he wants to say something, “Yeah man, just let her go, she’s not worth our time.” He mumbles, turning to get another drink.

“No, Tommy is right, she just got here. Please, have a drink.” Meghan says, stepping forward and throwing her drink in my face. I gasp, stepping back and trying to clear my eyes. I feel her hands on my shoulders and then she pushes me, I fall back, landing straight on my back and hitting my head.

“Enough!” Billy’s voice booms through the kitchen. I open my eyes, staring up at the ceiling, seeing stars. My head hurts and I try to focus when hands grab at my shoulders to try to help me sit up. “We’re just joking around.” Meghan says, stunned by his outburst. I see Billy look down at me, sitting up on the floor staring at him, waiting for him to stand up for me, to help me up and hopefully take me home. But all he does is smile, “Yeah, but we wouldn’t want to kill her or injure her badly, her uncle is the sherriff, remember?”

Whispers break out and I let the tears go, streaming down my face as I stare at someone I thought I could love, someone I thought I understood, someone I was willing to be kept a secret for because I believed his stupid excuse of not wanting a girlfriend right now because of the terrible stuff that’s happening with his dad.

“What the fuck are you staring at? Get up and get the fuck out, I’m sick of seeing your face.” His eyes are pleading with me, begging me to take the chance and run. I sob at his terrible words, I can’t help it. A hand reaches out for me to help me stand and I look up into the eyes of Steve, Harrington, the former ‘king of the school’ with Nancy by his side.

“Let me help you up.” His voice is soft and people are watching, waiting for my response. I look up at Billy again and I think I’m going to hate the color of his eyes for the rest of my life. He’s waiting for me as well, waiting to see what I’m going to do.

I reach out and take Steve’s hand, cringing when I pull my shirt away from my chest. “Is your head okay?” Nancy asks, stepping closer. I flinch at her hand reaching for my head, “I’m fine.” I croak out and turn to leave, walking out the front door.

“You guys are a bunch of fucking assholes!” Steve yells at his friends, Billy turns and takes the two shots of clear vodka he poured into the shot glasses for Meghan and himself before he slips out the back door while his ‘friends' are fighting inside.

He feels his heart hammering inside his chest while he runs around the house, seeing your figure walking away from the house he actually feels his heart break at the way you looked at him, the sob that left your mouth, the sound your head made when it made contact with the floor beneath you.

He knows he’s a dick, a terrible person if you must, keeping you hidden away, all to himself. But he swears he’s only doing it to protect you, there’s only a few months of high school left and then he can take you away from here, to a new state, a new city. Take you away from the horrible people here, people he somehow became friends with.

He’s protecting you.

“(y/n), wait, shit, baby are you okay?” Billy stops me, standing in front of me, but I can’t get myself to look into his eyes, maybe if I walked faster I could’ve made it to the car without him getting to me first, but I didn’t expect him to come to me in the first place.

He reaches for me, hand lifting my head up to look at him. His worried expression amuses me. I slowly reach up and take his wrist, pulling him away from me.

“You should go, your friends are waiting.” I don’t have it in me, not one mean bone, not any feeling that I need to hurt him back.

His frown is deep, “Baby, what the hell are you doing here?” he’s bending forward so he can look me in the eyes. My head hurts, I’m soaking wet and all I want to do is leave.

“You asked me to be here.” He’s shaking his head, “When? I never asked you to come here.” I can’t get the picture of Meghans legs wrapped around him out of my head. “Are you fucking her?” I blurt out, stepping away from him. “Who?” he asks, trying to reach for me again, but my delayed anger is kicking in.

I feel my cheeks blush as I think back to everything that happened. “Meghan, are you fucking her?” he doesn’t answer straight away and I feel another sob break through me.

“You know what, you ruined my fucking life here! Yeah, I’ve always been fat and a loser but at least everyone left me the fuck alone, until you came around, until you started showing interest in me! I never wanted to be with you, you’re a fucking asshole and you made me fall in love with you, now I have all these feelings towards you that I don’t want to feel because I literally never want to see you again.” I’m out of breath by the end of it.

His eyes are glistening while he stares down at me, my chest is heaving and my clothes still sticking to me.

“You love me?” he’s frowning.

“Yes, unfortunately I fucking love you, you made me care for you and then you treat me like shit in front of your friends, watch them abuse me me and torture me and make fun of me while doing nothing!” I’m yelling at him. Then a car door slams and I hear feet running up to us.

“(Y/n), oh my god what happened?” Sandy’s voice is loud and I jump at the sudden intrusion. “What the fuck did you do to her?” she’s yelling at Billy now. “It wasn’t him, it was his fucked up friends.”

“He just stood there and watched.” I mumble, looking at him as his face falls and something stirs in my chest seeing him turn emotional.

I take my car keys from Sandy and turn to leave,

“I won’t ever be good enough.” He says and I stop, causing Sandy to stop next to me, silencing her ramblings I didn’t ever hear. “You’re too good for me, I’ve said this over and over. I keep this private and I keep this between us because I don’t want people ruining that, like they did tonight.”

I turn and walk up to him, “They didn’t ruin this, you did.” I say, poking his chest.

“I love you too.”

His eyes are so sincere that I get lost in them for a moment, not missing the exaggerated gasp leaving my friends mouth after his confession. I shake my head, “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to treat me like shit, turn around, say you love me and expect things to be okay.”

“You don’t get to hurt me anymore.”

“No!” his voice is loud, “you don’t get to tell me you love me and then walk away from me, from us. You don’t get to let me think I have a person who cares and then walk away from me, I need you.” He’s begging me now.

“I do get to love you, and I also do get to walk away from something that’s hurting me.” I let him take my hand, “You’re hurting me, Billy. You’re keeping me a secret because you’re ashamed of me, that’s not fair because I would never in my life do that to you, or another person.” I reach for his face, “I would never want you to feel the way I did in there because I love you, but I don’t ever want to feel that again so I think it’s my turn to walk away, pretend nothing happened and walk away.”

I move to leave but he pulls me back, “How can you say that!? How can you walk away from someone you love.” He’s pushing my hair behind my ear, searching my face for an answer.

“How can I not walk away? Because if you loved me you wouldn’t be ashamed to tell people that you’re with me, you wouldn’t let them treat me like that, you wouldn’t sleep with other people. It’s time I take care of myself.” I pull my hand out of his.

“I’ll go in there right now and tell everyone that you’re my girl, that I love you and I want to marry you someday.” He’s begging again, and I can’t help the way my breath hitches when he mentions he wants to marry me, at the way he calls me his girl.

I step forward and kiss his cheek one last time, I don’t know if it’s my tears or his I taste on my lips.

“Its too late for that. Goodbye Billy.”

He’s grabbing my hands and trying to pull me back but I get my hand free, “(y/n) wait! Please, please don’t leave me, (y/n) I’m sorry! I’m a fucking idiot and a coward and I’m so fucking sorry! (Y/n) I love you please, please don’t do this.”

I’m ignoring him as I close my door and lock it, starting the car, he’s banging on the window as I pull away, surprised and relieved that I didn’t run him over in the process.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk right now, but .... what the fuck just happened! Why are you wet! What is going on!” Sandy yells.

“I just broke up with my boyfriend.”

“What!”

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boxeom · 3 years ago

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Songs I Think JJK Characters Would Have On Their Simping Playlist For You

| |Characters: Gojō Satoru, Nanami Kento, Itadori Yūji, Kugisaki Nobara, Fushiguro Megumi, Fushiguro Toji, Zen'in Maki, Inumaki Toge, Okkatsu Yūta, Geto Suguru, Irie Shoko, Ryomen Sukuna.

| |A/N: I'm embarrassed with how long this took me to make lmao. Don't be shy to comment which playlists are your favorite or which songs you think are fitting! I'd also love to see if you have any songs you think are accurate for the characters, too (I adore music, so I'm always up to listen to suggested songs)! [💮= Favorites]

| |Check Out: prt.II

☄️Gojo Satoru☄️

☄️"Nothing" (Jeremy Passion)

☄️"Someone To You" (Banners)

☄️"That's What I Like" (Bruno Mars)

☄️"I Found" (Amber Run)

☄️"See You Again" (Tyler, The Creator)

☄️"You Are The Reason" (Calum Scott)

☄️"This Is How You Fall In Love" (Jeremy Zucker ft.Chelsea Cutler)

☄️"I.F.L.Y" (Bazzi)

☕Nanami Kento☕ (💮)

☕"What You Won't Do For Love" (Bobby Caldwell)

☕"Mirror" (Justin Timberlake)

☕"Kiss Me" (Ed Sheeran)

☕"I Love You Baby" (Frank Sinatra)

☕"Somewhere Only We Know" (Keane)

☕"Isn't She Lovely" (Stevie Wonder)

☕"Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop" (Landon Pigg)

☕"Say You Won't Let Go" (James Arthur)

🌻Itadori Yūji🌻

🌻"Constant" (Jeremy Passion)

🌻"Treasure" (Bruno Mars)

🌻"Consider Me" (Allen Stone)

🌻 "Out of My Leauge" (Fitz And The Tantrums)

🌻"Ho Hey" (The Lumineers)

🌻"Photograph" (Ed Sheeran)

🌻"Puppy Love" (gani)

🌻"Line Without A Hook" (Rick Montgomery)

🔨Kugisaki Nobara🔨 (💮)

🔨"Vanilla Sunday" (Emily Burns ft.Olivia Nelson)

🔨"Say My Name" (ODESZA)

🔨 "Say So" (Doja Cat)

🔨"Love" (Keyshia Cole)

🔨 "Mine" (Bazzi)

🔨"Better" (Jeremy Passion)

🔨"falling for u" (Peachy)

🔨 "uwu" (chevy)

🌌Fushiguro Megumi🌌 (💮)

🌌"This Side of Paradise" (Coyote Theory)

🌌"Two Time" (Jack Stauber)

🌌"Private Fears In Public Places" (Front Porch Step)

🌌"Best Part" (Daniel Caesar ft.HER)

🌌"Ultimately" (Khai Dreams)

🌌"Love" (Finding Hope)

🌌"The Scientist" (Coldplay)

🌌"Bad Habit" (Ben Platt)

🌆Fushiguro Toji🌆 (💮)

🌆"Try A Little Tenderness" (Otis Redding)

🌆"She Will Be Loved" (Maroon 5)

🌆"Work Song" (Hozier)

🌆"Lost" (Michael Buble)

🌆 "It's You" (Ali Gatie)

🌆"Fooled Around And Fell In Love" (Elvin Bishop)

🌆"Something I Need" (OneRepublic)

🌆"Pretty Face" (Public)

🌕Zen'in Maki🌕

🌕"Things That Make It Warm" (Cavetown)

🌕"Last of Her Kind" (Alec Benjamin)

🌕"Lost In Space" (Joni)

🌕"White Blood" (Oh Wonder)

🌕"All My Dreams of You" (Alexis Neon)

🌕"The Train Ride Home" (The Paper Kites)

🌕"Honey" (Kehlani)

🌕"I Am Falling In Love" (Isak Danielson)

🍙Inumkai Toge🍙

🍙"Can I Call You Tonight" (Dayglow)

🍙"Corduroy Dreams" (Rex Orange County)

🍙"Running After You" (Matthew Mole)

🍙 "Please Never Fall In Love Again" (Ollie MN)

🍙"Electric Love" (Børns)

🍙"Your Fantasy" (Khai Dreams)

🍙"Talk To Me" (Cavetown)

🍙"Your Soul" (Forrest.)

💞Okkotsu Yūta💞

💞"Perfectly Imperfect" (Declan J. Donavan)

💞"A Thousand Years" (Christina Perri)

💞"Mr. Loverman" (Rick Montgomery)

💞"Every Little Thing She Does" (Sleeping At Last Cover)

💞"Build It Better" (Aron Wright)

💞"Somebody To Stay" (Vancouver Sleep Clinic)

💞"Germany And Rome" (The Ridleys)

💞"I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz)

🗻Geto Suguru🗻 (💮)

🗻"Okinawa" (92914)

🗻"300 AM" (Finding Hope)

🗻"Make You Mine" (Public)

🗻"Sweater Weather" (The Neighborhood)

🗻"If You Love Me, Come Clean" (Flatsound)

🗻"Sick of Losing Soulmates" (dodie)

🗻"Mind Over Matter" (Young The Giant)

🗻"The Night We Met" (Lord Huron)

🚬 Ieiri Shoko🚬 (💮)

🚬"Deeper Conversation" (Yuna)

🚬"Cigarettes" (OffonOff ft. Miso, Tablo)

🚬"We Don't Know" (Pop Culture)

🚬"Just A Game" (Birdy)

🚬"Infinity" (James Young)

🚬"Weird Around You" (Eerie Summer)

🚬"Lava Lamp" (Mia Gilling)

🚬"Walk With Me" (Tate Chake)

🌸Ryomen Sukuna🌸

🌸"I Won't Hurt You" (WCPAEB)

🌸"Do I Wanna Know" (Artic Monkeys)

🌸"Ain't No Sunshine" (Bill Withers)

🌸"I Don't Want To See The World On Fire" (The Ink Spots)

🌸"Changing Partners" (Helen Forrest)

🌸"The Great Pretender" (The Platters)

🌸"Stand By Me" (The Drifters)

🌸"To Build A Home" (The Cinematic Orchestra)

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x gender neutral reader #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #nanami kento x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen imagines #yuji itadori x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #kugisaki nobara x reader #zenin maki x reader #inumaki toge x reader #okkotsu yuta x reader #jjk imagines #jjk headcanons

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catholickedd · 1 year ago

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i started this for another post char made but never finished it, and there are answers to questions on here that char didn’t actually ask, but oh well

favorite color and why: i love green as a whole and i wear it a lot, but my actual favorite is red because i look best in it and i think it’s a very powerful color.

comfort movies: i’m not a huge movie watcher but i like the phantom of the opera, dead poets society, coraline, the princess bride, and the breakfast club!!

favorite season and why: i love love love fall!! it’s so pretty and here in texas it’s the only season with actually decent weather.

favorite books: ender’s game (i know i already addressed this in a previous post), game of thrones, interview with the vampire, wheel of time

favorite aesthetics: i’m sort of a blend of dark academia and forestcore, and it depends on the season which one i like better

favorite genre: i love psychological horror actually lol. the kind of good shit that makes me stay up wayyy too late. my favorite is vanilla sky

favorite clothing style: like i said i like dark academia and forestcore but what that means for me is grandpa sweaters, rolled up jeans, high waisted trousers, doc martens, pretty socks, the like.

favorite music style: indie folk!

favorite artists: hozier and lord huron (but you knew that already)

favorite song(s) : favorite of all time is wasteland, baby! by hozier, current favorite is wading in waist high water (solstice version) by fleet foxes

favorite fandoms: gomens fandom is my current but they can be a little much sometimes. the oa fandom however was always filled with such a great community

hobbies: guitar and competitive choir!

love/care language you give: words of affirmation

love/care language you recieve: also words of affirmation but physical touch is good as well (at certain times only.)

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: i’m very introverted to the untrained eye and by the actual definition i am an introvert but once you get to know me i never shut up

morning or night person: night!! i’m nocturnal, when i was little i’d stay up till 1 am reading. i just feel so much more alive when the sun goes down

city, country, or suburbs?: i’ve lived in all three and i think each has their appeals and drawbacks, but if i had to choose, i’d choose country

favorite time of day and why: i love evenings when the sky gets all messy it’s the best !!!

religious beliefs: i was raised agnostic but i have profound interest in all religion - an interest that could not really be called “faith”, but i respect all religions as well

ideal family: me and my soulmate person i’m in love with married in a big house with one child and i go out and see my friends all the time and my extended family visits a lot

dream future: it involves lots of travel, i think for the first few years i would want to live with the picrewcule and then i’d get married to my love and we’d have a child and move all about europe like we talked about, the child’s name would be caspian maddox (insert surname) and we’d live in a house with lots and lots of books and i’d visit the picrewcule all the time

dream place to visit: new zealand!! i may or may not want to go on the lotr tour i also want to visit ireland home of my ancestors some day

favorite type of nature: all types but west coast forests my beloved <333

favorite habitat: summer tundra ! i know it’s oddly specific but please go visit the open fields of alaska in august and open your third eye

how would i describe myself in 4 words: curious, stern, loving, malleable

if i could be another thing what would i be: probably a crow!!

favorite type of weather: RAIN RAIN RAIN, especially bc we’re in a drought right now!

if i could travel anywhere rn where would it be: massachusetts, then london, then germany, then the netherlands, then new zealand

fears: spiders. and abandonment

dream job: author!!

would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why?: probably a witch bc i get to live in the forest and be bisexual with crystals

hihi guys it’s Char, I did a get to know you post a while ago but it got very big so I would imagine I’d a little overwhelming to do, but I don’t know some of you as well as I’d like to/gen so I thought I’d put the questions here just for the picrewcule to do! (so the post doesn’t get overwhelming to do) I know some of you have already done this so feel free to not do it or do it again it’s up to you! i thought this way it could be a way for all of bud to get to know everyone a bit more, but just for the picrewcule

but of course no pressure, I’d you don’t want to do this that’s absolutely okay!

- Favorurite colour and why:

- Comfort Movies:

- Fav Books:

- Fav season and why?

- Fav genre (and why?):

- Fav clothes style:

- Fav music genres:

Fav animals:

- Fav musicians:

- Fav song(s):

- Fav fandoms:

- Hobbies:

- Care language you give:

- Care language you receive:

- Introvert/extrovert/ambivert?

- Morning/night (and why?):

- City/country/suburbs (and why?):

- Fav time of day and why?

- Do you have any religious beliefs (don’t have to answer if not comfortable):

- What does your ideal family look like?

- Dream future:

- Dream place to visit:

- Fav type of nature:

- Fav biome in nature (e.g tundra, desert, forest etc):

- I’d you could be another thing on earth what would it be?

- Fav type of weather:

- Do you have any fears (serious or otherwise):

- Dream job:

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apocalypticgargoyle · 4 years ago

Note

Dream smut or fluff where reader and him are high key mean to eachotjer despite having so many mutual friends, but then something (very vague i know I’m sorry) makes them have to get close and the develop feelings? Sorry I’m shit at requests but thank you!!!

i know this is shitty im sorry akjsdh bls forgive me

𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑. ♘ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

± warnings: dream being a dick, slight slut shaming, toxic behavior, vulgar/suggestive mentions and language, sexual harassment on a bus (not by dream, you can breathe)

⋆ song recommendation: When the Night is Over by Lord Huron

You pulled a blanket beneath your chin, yawning slightly at whatever the tv was playing. You only had it on in an attempt to drown out the noises coming from your roommate's bedroom as she smoozed her date. You were honestly shocked the two hadn’t moved in together yet with all the time they spent wrapped up.

Her door opened, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of you sprawled out on the couch. He marched toward you quietly, hovering over your shoulder. You peered up at her hesitantly. “What are you watching?” She asked, voice barely above a whisper. You furrowed your brows, opening your mouth to speak but she hurriedly cut you off. “Do you mind watching it at Nick’s instead?”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re kicking me out again?” She gave you an apologetic smile, making you roll your eyes as you stood up and pulled on your jacket. “This would hurt less if they also paid rent,” you mumbled, with a small glare.

She thanked you repeatedly, holding onto your arm as you gathered what little belongings you needed for the night. “I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she courted, opening the door for you. “Tomorrow, dinner’s on me okay?” You sent her a tired look and she apologized again. She stopped you as you stepped out into the cold night, leaning through the space between the door and the frame. “Maybe you can cozy up to that Clay guy? You guys have such a good vibe,” she mocked, making you chuckle lightly.

You shook your head, waving to her. “Enjoy your night. Please, for the love of God, clean the bathroom afterward,” you called, hearing her laugh at your statement.

The bus ride was quiet due to the time of night and the weather, both of which you didn’t mind. You knew Nick’s house would be warm and loud. Before you knew it, you found yourself in front of his apartment door, kicking at the concrete ground as you heard someone stumbling to let you inside. The door opened swiftly, Clay’s large frame blocking the light from the kitchen. He leaned against the doorframe mockingly as he looked at you.

He wet his lips. “Who’s the lucky guy tonight?” He joshed.

You rolled your eyes, brushing past his body to get out of the cold. “Whoever’s dick you’re not sucking, I guess,” you quipped back, making him laugh darkly. You kicked off your shoes as he shut the door. “Where’s Sapnap?” You asked, shrugging off your jacket. You’d texted him ahead of time to ask if you could stay over, which he readily agreed to.

Clay sent you a smug look. “You guys have a fun night planned?” He made a gesture with his hand to insinuate you were there to give Nick a handjob.

You bit back a chuckle. “Why? You wanna join?” You shot back. He bit his lip and moaned pornographically.

“Cut it out, Dream,” Nick grumbled as he walked into the room. He pulled on your arm to follow him.

Dream scoffed exasperatedly. “Me? I’m not the one who started it!” He called after the two of you.

As Nick pushed you out of the room, you turned your head. “You most certainly did!” You answered. You heard him chuckle at your words as Nick shut the door to his room. You plopped down on his bed as he sat in his chair, swiveling to look at you. “Why does Dream pick at me so much?” You mumbled, fishing in your pockets for your phone.

“He’s jealous,” Nick answered absent-mindedly. “What's the date look like tonight?” He asked, referring to the reason you were there in the first place. This wasn’t the first time or the last time your roommate had kicked you out. It was becoming a more frequent occurrence for you to end up on Nick’s couch or at their place in the middle of the day with your toothbrush and a change of clothes.

You moved to lean into his pillows. “I don’t know, it's the same granola fucker she’s been hanging around,” you answered.

He rubbed his chin with a slight smirk. “There’s a subtle justice to knowing she’s still with that asshat,” he commented, making you snort.

A week later, you were on your way back to your apartment after a lecture when someone felt you up. It was the straw on the camel’s back for you as you spin around to smack the guy, stirring up a few of the bystanders. You’d walked the rest of the way home, stepping through the door to be met with your roommate and her hookup twisted together in the kitchen.

You clamped your hand over your eyes, mumbling about how you just wanted to take a nap when you were once again sent to Nick’s. You let subtle tears fall as you trudged your way across the city, hoping to get out whatever darkness you had to your attitude. The last thing you wanted to do was confront Clay looking like you did. He was like the troll with the keys to the bridge. That was really the only reason the two of you ever talked, so you knew he’d be waiting to berate you before you could get to Nick.

As you walked into the building, you spotted Clay carrying a large box, his hair slightly disheveled and his hands dirty. You knew almost instantly that he was probably attempting to fix the kitchen sink and got a call because of the size of the package. That sink had been dripping since they’d moved in, making it Clay’s mission to futz around with it every Friday afternoon. You tried helping him one time, only ending up with a deflated sense of confidence and the second wave of your childhood anger issues.

He nodded at you as you held the elevator door open for him. “What’s up, babycakes?” He chirped, popping his gum. When you hesitated to answer, he looked at you fully, scoffing. “Damn, walk of shame gone sour?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, inhaling deeply to try and calm your nerves. “I’m not really in the mood today,” you muttered, tucking your hands between your back and the wall.

He snorted, setting the box down between his feet. “You’re always in the mood! Isn’t that like your thing,” he continued to jeer. “You look like you had a fun night though-”

“Clay, stop. I’m serious,” barked at him. His expression twisting at your use of his name.

He raised his hands in mock defense. “Sorry, I thought we had---like a bit thing, um-” he cut himself off, awkwardly shoving his fists in his pockets. After a beat of silence between the two of you, the elevator came to a sharp halt on the wrong floor, the light switching to red. The two of you shared a look, knowing that the landlord was probably flipping the wrong switches again. Clay texted Nick to see what was going on.

It began to grow colder in the elevator, as it usually did. When it was off, the cold from outside usually seeped in through the elevator shaft. There was one time you were stuck in the elevator for a few hours with one of your neighbors and Karl when he had come to visit. Back then, the three of you played Uno on the guy’s phone. It was also summer, so the chill creeping up your legs wasn’t as intolerable as it was now.

You rubbed the arms of your sweater in hopes of generating some kind of warmth. Clay watched you carefully, his hands moving to grip the bar behind him. “Do you want my sweatshirt?” He offered. You shook your head, sliding onto the ground and hugging your knees to your chest. He hesitantly slumped down beside you, kicking his long legs out towards the door. The red light filling the space made his features look softer.

He nudged your arm gently with his own. “I know I’m not Sapnap, but…” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, shrugging slightly, “I mean, we’re stuck in here. We can talk about it.”

You blinked away the tears threatening to spill once again, your eyes burning and tired. “I haven’t slept with him, you know?” You stated, turning to look at him briefly before moving to sit cross-legged, planning with your fingers. “I’ve never even kissed him. I’ve never kissed anyone,” you scoffed. Clay was silent, but out of the corner of your eye, you could see him watching you intently.

Being this close to him, you could smell the smoky vanilla undertones of his cologne. The scent reminded you of a masculine version of the candle your aunt always burned when she went out for a night to spite her ex-husband.

Clay leaned his head back against the wood paneling, his soft blond hair flattening in the back to spread against the wall. You swallowed, sighing slightly. “I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and I’m getting groped on the bus and kicked out of my damn apartment because my roommate and her fucking boyfriend have to hook up on every surface. Nothing is sacred.” You shook your head, wiping away some stray tears with the back of your hand and sniffling pathetically. “You can keep making slut jokes, I don’t care. But I swear to God, I haven’t done anything with Sapnap. Or Karl, or Quackity. No one.”

He chuckled softly. “I know. That’s why I used to make those jokes,” he mumbled. “It was like… ironic humor. And then it got so far that the only way I knew you’d talk back to me was if I was fucking around with you,” he admitted. You chuckled slightly at his words, taking a deep breath.

“Oh, Dream,” you sighed. “I would have hooked up with you if you weren’t such an ass,” you chided. His laugh made you feel better. He held his hand out to you, more for support than anything, but as you laced your fingers with his, your heart eased, feeling safe beside him.

After a beat of silence, he spoke up again. "I can ride the bus with you now... if you want..." He offered, a shyness that seemed so foreign to his character shown through his eyes. "I promise I won't grope you," he joshed, making you roll your eyes.

"That's really not something we should be joking about," you mumbled, wiping away the rest of your tears on your sleeve.

His thumb brushed against the back of your hand soothingly. "I mask my awkwardness around you in dark humor. I'm sorry."

#dream imagine #dream fluff #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken fanfic #dreamwastaken fluff #dream x reader #dream x y/n #dream x you #dreamwastaken angst #dream angst #mcyt imagine #mcyt x you

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namusthetic · 4 years ago

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BTS' aesthetics as your friends pt. 1 - Rapline

Imagine BTS' aesthetics as your friends.

Or you can just choose the one that fits better your personality / aesthetic.

(with playlists)

Notice:

Please remember that these are character aesthetics with traits that I made up. I am not stereotyping anyone nor do I associate them with real people. I hope you can enjoy them, even those who are not BTS' fans.

Jooncore

proud plant parent, talks regularly to their babies even letting them listen to music because "research shows it has a positive impact on their growth"

appreciates the smallest and simplest things/actions

eats healthy and is probably a vegetarian

soft but ready to fight when human rights are involved

works better at night but still tries to keep a regular sleeping schedule for their early morning yoga sessions' sake

if they get mad they are likely to lecture you for at least a couple hours on what you did wrong and why

will tell you the right thing to do even if it sounds harsh

is always there to comfort you

knows a ton of small facts about the most strange and unusual topics that they learnt just out of curiosity

stops and turns around just to makes sure no one is left behind and if so waits for them

they won't ever ask, but sometimes they need to be cared for too as they tend to overwork themselves and overthink things

Aesthetic:

Long bicycle rides at sunset, a good book and coffee during a rainy day, fond smiles from a distance and secondhand embarrassment, aesthetic notes and reassuring hugs, impromptu trips at the small library around the corner, long sleeved, warm-toned sweaters and overalls, minimal aesthetic, overstuffed bookshelves and yellow sticky notes, small flowers and headphones.

Playlist:

seoul (prod. HONNE) by RM

Clocks by Coldplay

Where's My Love by SYML

Meet me in the woods by lord Huron

Minimum by Charlie Cunningham

Between Days by Far Caspian

Monsters in the Dark by MyKey

I like me better by Lauv

A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay

Trivia 承: Love by BTS

Hobicore

the brightest sun of them all

very intimidating when angry

just because they always look happy doesn't mean they are

"go hard or go home" mindset

wears bright colors and bucket hats

always humming/singing to themselves

a bit oblivious when it comes to affection

if they let you see them sad/down it means you are really important to them and they trust you

tries to keep their problems to themselves because they don't want others to worry

dancing around and fidgeting, can't stay still

Their hugs feel like everything being alright

Aesthetic

Handmade anklets, bracelets with colored beads, roller-skates and milkshakes, high-energy and warm hugs, freckles and busking in the sunlight, the smell of salt and sunscreen on your skin, bright smiles and loud laughter, loudly calling someone from across the street and waving, feeling like you just can't look away, a colorful but comfy style

Playlist:

Hope World by J-Hope

Another One Bites The Dust by Queen

Telepathy by BTS

Sober by Childish Gambino

Thruth Hurts by Lizzo

Sunday Best by Surfaces

Daydream by J-Hope

24k Magic by Bruno Mars

Mine by Bazzi

Say So by Doja Cat

Outro: Ego by BTS

Yoongicore

it's always a good time for a coffee break

somehow always looks tired

"I mean, if you pay me enough anything can happen"

night owl, stays up late at night to finish work

subtly takes care of those important to them

savage if provoked

sarcasm is their preferred defense mechanism

dislikes society and people in general, except for a few choosen ones

tries to keep to themselves but is always ready to fight for the right cause

actually a softie, just needs a hug sometimes

seems cold but is actually very observant and attentive of others' emotions

will take you out for food and listen to your problems

likes holding hands but would rather die than admit it

grew up too fast

Aesthetic

Tired eyes and shy smiles, takeaway food and espressos, ripped jeans and fishnets, black nail polish and beanies, dark circles and dyed hair that look soft to the touch, coming back home after a long stressful day and falling on your bed with a sigh, the sounds of the city at night, waiting for the last stop on the train

Playlist:

The Sixth Station by Smyang Piano

listen before i go by Billie Eilish

Void by The Neighborhood

Slow Dancing in the Dark by Joji

The Midnight Sun By C Duncan

Awake at Night by Half Alive

After Hours by The Weeknd

One For The Road by Arctic Monkeys

Ghost by Halsey

Otherside by Post Malone

People by Agust D

Trivia 轉 : Seesaw by BTS

___________________________🌠

Hello everyone!!! ( ^ ▽ ^ )/

So here I am with BTS-related moodboards again!!

I'll post the vocal line soon eheh~

#types of people #character concept #character aesthetics #tag your aesthetic #tag yourself #aestethic #moodboard #bts #suga bts #hobi bts #rm bts #bangtan aesthetic #bts army #playlist

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blackandgoldandeverythingnice · 3 years ago

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i don’t remember me (before you) - j. debrusk [part ii]

Pairing: Jake DeBrusk x female!OC

Summary: Could it be more cliche than falling in love with your neighbor when she wasn’t exactly available? What happens when getting her to fall in love with you isn’t even the hard part?

Word Count: 9,077

A/N: so, part ii - maybe one day i’ll get good at summaries and update them accordingly but honestly, no promises. this one has a LOT of warnings and i’ll adore any and all feedback.

Warnings: adult themes, alcohol consumption, abuse [very much the abuse in this part so please be warned], shitty boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, swearing...I think that’s it

part ii

“I have travelled many miles, I don't wanna walk no more Every road and every highway led me right back to your door” -lord huron

Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen Alina nervous before. Normally she was the quintessential Russian: serious, blank face that belied nothing about how she was feeling. But right now she was tapping her foot nervously and gnawing on her bottom lip. Her hair was up in a little half ponytail thing and he forgot he usually only saw her in scrubs, his sweats or a mini dress for a night out. This version of Alina was softer, not as sexy as ‘club Alina’ but he thought he might like it better. She had on a pair of ripped jeans with a loose cardigan buttoned up, cutting in a low v on her chest. They didn’t speak much in the car ride over but Jake kept a hand on her knee, rubbing at the bare skin he could get to.

When she’d showed up at his apartment after getting ready, she shoved a bottle of wine into his hand and anxiously asked if he thought it would be good enough. Jake had managed to make her laugh when he’d snorted at her, asking how it was she thought he would know what wine was good or not.

That same bottle was now being grasped tightly in one hand, her other squeezing at his thigh tightly.

“Ease up, Leenie – you’re gonna leave a mark.” He teased, tapping her hand softly.

“Oh! Sorry, Jed.” But she didn’t loosen her grip much and he just let her keep clinging to him. He realized while she was usually a blank face to everyone around her, lately – more often than not – she was completely and purely herself around him. It’s like a wall that had been blocking back emotions before had come down and now everything she thought played clearly on her face for him to see. But only for him.

It wasn’t a long ride to get to Charlie’s and when they pulled up, Jake went to climb out of the car but realized that Alina was still sitting quietly in the back seat.

“Maybe you should just go without me. I can have him take me back home.” She nodded at the driver who was frowning and looked like he was a minute away from yelling at them to get in or out.

“Nope.” Jake responded, reaching into the car and physically dragging her out. She stumbled slightly as she hit the curb and he managed to shut the door to the car mere seconds before the driver pulled away.

“Jake…” she practically whined. “They don’t like me. I should just go, you’ll have a better time without me.”

“Leenie, if you don’t go, I’m sure as hell not going. I spend all my time with these idiots, I want to be wherever you are.” The hesitance remained on her face and he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “If you really don’t want to go, we’ll go home. Or out to dinner. Whatever you want. Ride or die.”

That earned him a giggle. “Ride or die?”

“I’m your ride or die, whatever you want, we’ll do.” He nodded seriously until she finally gave him a smile, her facing turning determined.

“Okay. We’ll go. But if they’re not nice to you, I’m gonna let ‘em have it.”

“I expect nothing less.” He teased, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. Forehead kisses had become more and more frequent. As had holding hands, cuddling and the way Alina would nudge her nose into his neck, brushing her lashes against his skin. At this point, they were more affectionate than he’d been with any previous girlfriend.

It still wasn’t enough but he instinctively knew he needed to go slow, knew that he couldn’t risk pushing her into something she wasn’t ready for. Shit, he wasn’t even sure if she felt the same as he did. All he had was a ‘feeling’ that things between them were different, that they were out of the sure footing that had been their friendship and in some weird limbo zone where they were both trying to figure out what the other wanted.

Sighing to himself, he took her free hand and pulled her towards Charlie’s building. He had forgotten to ask exactly who was going to be there and now that they were in the elevator, he felt a little panicky about what they were walking into.

While he’d deny it to her, he knew Alina wasn’t his friends’ favorite. And her desire to protect him meant she overreacted to the smallest chirp that was thrown his way even when it didn’t bother him. He only hoped that tonight would go okay.

Walking into Charlie’s apartment, Jake immediately felt like this was the wrong decision. There were at least eight couples and some of the girls were looking at Alina critically, from the bottle of wine in her hand to the way she was clinging onto Jake. Looking friendly wasn’t something Alina excelled at so the stoic look that Jake knew came from a place of nervousness or shyness, instead made her look like a mega bitch.

He squeezed her hand gently and turned his face into her ear. “Smile, babe. You look entirely too Russian right now.”

Alina snorted, squeezing his hand back and relaxing slightly, smiling at him. “It’s just my face, I can’t help it.”

Jake rolled his eyes, dropping her hand and placing it on her lower back to lead her through the room. He wanted to find Charlie and, more importantly, Charlie’s girlfriend. Kiley was one of the sweetest girls he knew and had always been kind to Alina, usually the only one she’d talk to while waiting for him after games.

Walking into the kitchen, he found the hosts putting the finishing touch on plates of charcuterie. And really, that just meant they were unwrapping the clearly pre-made platters.

“So much for doing the heavy lifting,” Jake teased, bundling Kiley up into a big hug. Charlie hit him but stepped around him to pull Alina into a hug. Jake noticed her stiffen slightly but return the hug before pulling away quickly.

“Ki – you remember Alina.” Jake gestured, returning to her side and throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“Of course! Welcome.” She pulled her into a hug before accepting the offered bottle of wine. “Oh wow, this is really nice – you shouldn’t have.”

Alina flushed slightly, waving a hand dismissively. “It was always one of my favorites so I thought I’d share.”

“Well thank you.” Kiley said sincerely and Jake couldn’t help smiling at her. Charlie really had found a good one. “I say we open this in here and just save it for the two of us.”

“Great idea.” She grinned back conspiratorially. “Can I help with anything?”

“Grab a few glasses, yeah? And are you any good at opening wine?”

“Am I ever!” she responded, grabbing a wine key and getting to work on the wine she’d brought. “I used to work in my Dedushka’s restaurant, if you fucked up the bottle, you had to pay for it but you also got to drink it.”

Kiley grinned at the story, taking it at face value but Jake’s head shot up at the sound of her talking about being younger. He’d never once heard her mention anything about working in a restaurant.

“What’s a ‘dad-kush-kah’?” Charlie asked earning a little smile from Alina who promptly corrected his pronunciation.

“Grandfather.” She got a little faraway look in her eyes but quickly returned to the task at hand.

“Come on, man – come say hi to the rest of the guys.” Charlie tried to shove him back in the direction of the living room but he dug his heels in, twirling around to escape and slide next to Alina.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, leaning down so only she could hear him. “You okay? I can stay with you.”

It looked like she was thinking about it, her gray eyes searching his before she shook her head slightly. “Go on, I’m good – I’ll be a wine opening maniac.”

Instinctively, he pressed a kiss to her temple and ignored the look that Charlie and Kiley exchanged before following Chuck into the living room. He greeted his teammates and their significant others, smiling good-naturedly as the boys all yelled his name or teased him about one thing or another. He was just happy that Alina didn’t hear them or she’d end up lighting them up in his defense.

He managed to stay in the room for all of fourteen minutes before drifting back into the kitchen. Despite Charlie saying it was going to be just couples, a few of the girlfriends had brought friends and he got the distinct feeling Charlie Coyle’s girlfriend was trying to set him up with one of them. He walked back into the kitchen to find Alina perched on the counter, chatting animatedly with Kiley. He paused in the doorway to watch her as she gestured dramatically with one hand, large glass of wine in the other, only pausing her story to take a long sip and accept a piece of cheese that Ki had handed her. The sweater she had on had slipped off one shoulder and he eyed the bare skin greedily, aching to touch her.

It was a relief to see her getting along with at least one of the girls, a light floaty feeling filled him at the sight. Baby steps, he told himself, baby steps.

Eventually, he couldn’t resist interrupting, moving towards Alina and fitting himself between her legs. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her head on the top of his while continuing to talk to Kiley.

“But yeah, I’m super lucky the other nurses are so experienced and are actually super sweet. Have you been doing nights or days?”

The two girls continued the conversation around him like he hadn’t even joined and he contented himself with sharing Alina’s glass of wine and helping himself to one of the smaller trays that hadn’t been circulated out into the living room yet. They spent the better part of an hour in there, switching to a different bottle when Alina’s fancy one had been finished.

“If you’re not gonna get your own glass, you have to be the refill bitch.” She muttered in his ear, pressing an errant kiss to the side of his head before refocusing on whatever Kiley was saying to her.

He pushed back from the counter to refill from a new bottle, pouring it nearly to the brim before returning to his position. A couple other girls had wandered in to join them and Jake felt Alina stiffen slightly as the kitchen got more crowded.

“Ohh, boujee! Who brought this?” one of the girls cooed, picking up the now empty bottle that Alina had brought. “This is like 200 bucks.”

Surprised, he turned to catch Alina’s eye but she avoided his stare, cheeks flushing at the attention.

“JD’s gir – uh, neighbor brought it.” Kiley answered. Half a dozen people turned to look at Alina who just waved awkwardly and tightened her grip on him.

“That was – ” one of the girls who Jake was pretty sure was a friend of a friend paused to eye the way Alina and Jake were tangled together before continuing, “Generous of you, Jake.”

He knew what she was doing. It was something all the guys had to deal with: girls that wanted to be with a player because of the money. And if a girl was like that she usually assumed all the others were. Jake flushed with anger, opening his mouth to respond but Alina beat him to it.

“Actually, I bought it myself.” She answered stiffly, tugging the glass from Jake’s hand to take a sip.

The kitchen felt ice cold and tense, nothing like it had been when it had just been Kiley and Alina chatting. Thankfully, Chuck and Gryz came flying into the room shouting about everyone going into the living room. The girls that had just come in exchanged looks before turning to go while Alina stayed put. Kiley shot the two of them a concerned look but grabbed a few things to bring into the living room, leaving them alone.

He turned around so he could face her, placing a hand on either side of her body and leaning his forehead against hers. “Leen, ignore them.”

“I told you your friends hated me.” She mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Those are absolutely not my friends.” He nudged her nose with his. “Do you wanna go? I told you, the second you want to leave, we can.”

She was quiet for a second, fingers trailing along the sliver of skin between his shirt collar and hair. He practically melted into her at the sensation. “No, no – I need to be nicer. I do want your friends to like me…”

“How bout this: we spend another hour or so here, drink a bit more fancy wine and eat some cheese then we’ll go out to dinner – just you and me.”

That earned him a smile and her eyes brightened for the first time that night. “You’d do that for me?”

He sighed, feeling the wine loosen his tongue slightly. “Leenie, when’re you gonna learn I’d do anything for you?”

“I don’t deserve you, Jed.” She mumbled, staring straight at him, her eyes serious and intense.

“We’re not gonna do our little argument about who deserves who.” He teased but she stayed serious, eyes dropping slightly to his lips.

“Jake, I – ” he wasn’t sure what she was going to say, he wasn’t sure if she even knew because she cut herself off.

Instead, she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to his. It caught him so off-guard he hesitated for a second but thankfully his instinct kicked in before she could pull back in embarrassment and he caught the back of back of her head, pulling her in closer.

It was like everything he’d been dreaming about but better. Alina tasted sweet like honey, her mouth hot on his as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. He wound the hand not buried in her hair around her waist, tucking up under her sweater to press his palm against her skin.

Reluctantly, she pulled back, staring at him seriously. “I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck are you sorry, Leen? Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

She giggled, sliding off the counter and burying her face into his chest before turning up to look at him. “You still wanna stay?” she teased, eyes sparkling.

“Fuck,” he grumbled into the top of her head. “I really really don’t but we should.”

Just as he was leaning down to steal another kiss, Charlie bounced back into the room. “Heyo, what’re you two doing? Come have some more wine before we have to switch to the boxed stuff.”

He stared at the two of them, tangled around each other and faces flushed but that didn’t stop him from continuing to egg them on about moving into the living room with the rest of the party.

“Alright, alright – we’re coming!” he yelled over his shoulder finally, shooting him a dirty look for interrupting. He turned back to face Alina, resting his head against hers. “Maybe we’ll stay for like twenty minutes?”

Smirking, she stood on tiptoe to press the lightest kiss to his lips before moving around him to go into the living room. He scurried behind her to follow, catching up easily. He wrapped his arm around her waist, feeling her relax at his touch. The move wasn’t lost on nearly everyone in the room. While officially Alina had been introduced as his neighbor, he was pretty sure a blind person could see the way he was touching her and staring at her and refusing to be farther than an inch away from her.

Alina remained controlled with her drinking, sipping wine slower than she had been drinking lately and that in and of itself felt like a victory. She did relax slightly but Jake noticed how she tended to stay close to him or Kiley. If she was ever talking to another of the girls, Kiley was also involved and if she moved along, Alina would do the same after a minute or so. She’d finally settled into a conversation with Charlie Coyle and his girlfriend leaving Jake to talk to a few other people while still keeping a close eye on her.

He desperately wanted to leave, wanted to get her alone so they could talk or make out or do more, he didn’t know. But he also wanted to give her the chance to get along with the group because he was hoping she’d be part of it soon.

“Slim! My guy! You crash any cars lately?” Khuls came blazing in loudly and Jake noticed Alina’s eyes shooting over and narrowing at the words.

He rubbed at his neck, “Er, not lately, man.”

Once the can was open, a few of the other guys started to chirp him, mostly around if he was going to grow a mullet again this year or if he’d been working out instead of going to McDonalds every night. He kept glancing over at Alina who was back to Russian Bitch Face and he was worried about what was about to come next if the guys didn’t stop.

And sure enough, Karson said something else about his driving and then Alina was at his side, threading her fingers with his. There was barely contained rage on her face but she seemed to swallow it down, instead squeezing his hand tightly.

Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his ear. “I’m ready to go if you are.”

He knew she was trying to make an effort, trying to get his friends to like her and in this case that meant not saying a word to them when they were chirping him.

He knew his face gave away everything when he looked down at her with a goofy smile. “Yeah, Leens – let’s go.”

“You guys are leaving already?” Kiley pouted and rather than admit Alina had just about had enough of being around so many people she wasn’t comfortable with he shrugged, swinging their clasped hands lightly.

“Sorry, Ki – we have late dinner plans.”

“Where are you going?” the girl that had been bitchy about the wine Alina had brought cut in and Jake was never outwardly rude so he just gave her a tight smile.

“Committee, down by the waterfront near our place.” He liked saying ‘our place’ like they lived together for real instead of just in the same building. “It’s Leenie’s favorite.” He added to get this girl to realize Alina wasn’t just some random girl that he’d brought out for a good time.

“Nice.” Chuck gave a reassuring nod, seeming to understand that it was time for them to leave. “Thanks for coming, bro.”

They made their goodbyes as quickly as possible but it still took about fifteen minutes to get out of there. By the time they were heading down the hall, Jake was thrumming with energy at getting to be alone with Alina. As they stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut, Alina was wrapping herself around his body and pulling him to her lips for a soft kiss.

He pulled back, grinning down at her. “Do you actually want dinner?” he teased and she flushed slightly before smacking his stomach.

“I’m a classy lady, I need dinner first.” She smirked back at him, stepping up for another kiss but he pulled back so she couldn’t reach him.

“You know this is more than that, eh?” He paused, serious as he brushed her hair back off her shoulders.

She squeezed his waist, tucking one hand under his t-shirt and tugging on the belt loop with her other. “If it was just that, I would’ve taken advantage of the four times I’ve woken up to your hard cock poking me in the ass.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, flushing red and feeling his body overheat at her words. “You noticed that?”

“Jesus – yeah. I noticed it.” Now she was flushing, biting on her lip teasingly and trailing her fingers down his torso. “But yeah, Jakey – let’s go to dinner first.”

She seemed to have timed it perfectly, winking up at him just as the elevator door slid open and then she slinked out, heading towards their waiting Uber, leaving Jake shaking his head like a puppy. Before the doors could close on him he hurried after her, catching her around the waist just as she was opening the car door and he hustled them inside.

The couple glasses of wine they’d both drank seemed to have made them both more relaxed and Jake spent the ride back to South Boston contenting himself with sweet, slow kisses and brushing his fingers along the waistband of her jeans. He was aching just thinking about what it would be like when they got home. It was tempting to just race home and throw her on the mattress but Jake wanted to talk about it first. Make sure this wasn’t a rebound or a hookup. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take it if they weren’t on the same page.

By the time they got to the restaurant, Jake was half hard and regretting his plan to go through dinner. The Uber driver had given them a sharp warning to stop getting handsy and Alina had just replied back in Russian angrily which seemed to scare him into leaving them alone.

They were both happy it was a Tuesday and the restaurant was only half full. Jake requested a table in the back corner and while he’d always made fun of couples that sat on the same side, it was impossible to separate himself from being close to her. So he slid in next to her, crowding into her space until she was playfully trying to push him away.

“What?” he asked, ducking in close so he could kiss her. “You think I can sit all the way over there when you’re here looking like that?”

“Like what?” she teased.

“How you always do,” Jake shrugged. “Perfect.”

Alina flushed and Jake was pretty sure he’d never seen her blush as much as she had tonight. She slid her hand along his thigh, dancing her fingertips up along his leg until he was inhaling sharply and caught her wrist with his hand.

“Why won’t you let me play?” she teased, pressing her face against his neck.

Jake had to take in a few deep calming breaths and he felt grateful when the server stopped by. They ordered cocktails and an appetizer but he didn’t think the two of them had the patience for actual dinner.

As soon as the server walked away, Alina was back to teasing her fingers along his leg and he had to get hold of the situation before he wasn’t able to think straight.

“Leenie…can we talk? For just a minute?”

She frowned slightly, pulling back when she realized he was being serious. “Um, of course. I just – you want this too, right?”

The question caught him so off-guard he was quiet for a beat too long. Alina looked up at him sadly, biting hard on her lower lip. He panicked slightly, turning to face her so he could hold her face and she couldn’t avoid his stare.

“Alina,” he started seriously. “I want this. I want you. But I also want more.”

He held his breath, waiting for his words to sink in. She was gripping on to his wrist tightly, eyes scanning his nervously. “Like…you like me?”

He huffed a breath out. How could she not know?

“Yeah, Leens. I like you. A lot. Like a lot a lot.”

“A lot a lot?”

“More than you could know.” He admitted, heart pounding in his chest. He’d watched Alina go through a traumatic relationship and he liked to think he’d helped her start to heal. Over the last year and a bit of knowing her, he’d fallen hard and stupid but it had felt like she’d been right there with him.

She opened her mouth to respond but shut it, looking shier than he’d ever seen her before. It felt like she was quiet for hours until she finally spoke.

“I – I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone before.” She admitted quietly, rubbing her thumb along the underside of his wrist. “I’m – shit…I’m not easy and kind of a disaster but you make me feel good; feel like someone that deserves to be loved. I want to try this. I want to be with you if you want to be with me.”

“We’ll go slow. I don’t want to push you but I need you to know I’m not gonna give up or go away just because you get a little too drunk one night or you yell at half my friends.” He teased slightly and she gave a watery little chuckle.

“Can we still have sex tonight though?” she asked and he choked on air, glaring at her when she started laughing.

“I might hold out on you just for that.” He answered with zero truth in his words. She raised one eyebrow and just leaned back without a word before he huffed a sigh. “Yeah okay, there’s no way I’m ever going to deny you anything.”

It was obvious he wasn’t just talking about tonight and instead of speaking, Alina just leaned forward to kiss him gently.

Their drinks arrived and then the food shortly after while the two of them went back to their normal relationship, joking and teasing each other except this time there were kisses and sly touches mixed in. Jake felt like he was floating. It was everything he’d been wanting for more than a year and it was better than he’d ever imagined.

Before the server could even ask if they wanted more food or drinks, Jake was sliding his credit card over. All he wanted was to get Alina alone. The restaurant was only a block away from their building and as soon as the check was signed, he was bundling her out the door and practically dragging her along as they walked.

Alina giggled behind him and he just squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m not gonna run away from you, Jed.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about you it’s that you’re a drunk runner.”

“Trust me,” she started to say and he glanced over at her, drinking in the happy glow around her and the way her eyes were sparkling back at him. “I’m not running away from this.”

--- ---

“Holy shit.” Jake exhaled into Alina’s neck as he tried to catch his breath.

He’d collapsed on top of her and he could feel her still pulsing around him and her heart racing. He lifted his head to see her staring back at him, eyes soft and a happy little smile playing on her kiss-bruised lips. She ran a hand through his hair as he finally rolled off of her, hissing slightly at the loss of her around him.

“We’ve been cuddling for weeks when we could’ve been doing that?” she whispered, rolling into him so she could wrap around his body. He lifted his arm up to hold her close, smirking and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“To be fair, I’ve been thinking about doing that for more than a year.”

“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow at him. “And how did you prepare? Watch some game tape?”

He threw his head back with a laugh, sliding a hand down her side to land on her ass. “Lotta nights alone in hotel rooms thinking about what I’d do if I had you in my bed.”

“Did it live up to your expectations?”

“Not even a little.” He answered, grinning at the glare she gave him. Before she could say anything he tilted her head up to catch her lips in another kiss then pulled back. “It was a million times better.”

They fell quiet, content to stay cuddled up in the little cocoon they’d made. Alina’s bed was a massive king but they stayed on top of each other, the sheets tangled around them. Jake felt like he was moving through a dream. Last night he had been arguing with his teammates about Alina and how they were ‘just friends’ and now he was in her bed with her naked body pressed against him, trailing her fingers up and down his stomach gently. He traced the length of her spine, a little smile playing on his lips.

He stared down at her, eyes drinking in her features. There was a little birthmark he’d never noticed right on her temple. Her hair was a mess, the dark waves tickling his arm. She was staring across the room sleepily, eyes hooded and a satisfied little smile on her lips. The warmth of her body and the way she was distractedly running her fingers along his skin was making him sleepy. Eventually, her movements slowed and they both dropped off to sleep.

The next thing Jake knew a loud banging was startling the two of them awake. Alina shot up into a sitting position next to him, blinking awake and alert faster than he was. The banging continued, coupled with muffled yelling.

Frantically, she rolled out of the bed, grabbing her phone before snagging his button down and pulling it on as she hurried out of the room.

“Fuck.” Jake hissed, jumping out to follow her only pausing to grab a pair of shorts he’d left at some point.

The banging was deafening in the living room, shouts coming through the door and it wasn’t hard to guess who was out there based on the language and the sheer fear on Alina’s face.

“Baby, let me – ” he moved towards the door but she got between him, pushing back on his chest.

She started to yell back through the door in Russian, clearly telling her ex to go away but he just kept pounding loudly. It was nearly three in the morning and he was going to wake up the neighbors if he didn’t leave soon. Nothing she was saying was working and Jake felt helpless. There was pure fear etched on her face and he stepped behind her to place a calming hand on her back.

“Do you want me to call the police?” it was the only thing he could think of except opening the door and telling him to fuck off himself. He was bigger than her ex but he’d always noticed there was something unhinged that reflected in his eyes. But if it meant protecting Alina, he’d go toe to toe with the guy.

“Yes – no – shit, they never help. I’ll just – I – fuck. I’m going to open the door but keep the chain on. He – he’s yelling about you.” She whispered at him, panic and fear overwhelming her momentarily and some of what she said made no sense. “There’s something on Instagram?”

Jake paled wondering what the fuck could’ve been posted in the last few hours to put this guy in a rage. He could only imagine that it wasn’t good.

Alina cracked the door slightly, hissing back in Russian as her ex pushed hard against the door trying to snap the chain. She jumped back in fear and there was zero-way Jake was going to let this continue.

He stepped forward, pushing Alina behind him. The second her ex caught his eye, his face turned red and he shook the door harder.

“Stay fuck away Alinochka.” His words were followed by another hard bang as he tried to muscle through the chain.

“You need to leave.” Jake shot back, forgetting he was standing in just a pair of shorts while Alina was wearing his shirt which was only making the guy angrier.

He switched back to Russian, yelling angrily at Alina who was responding but her voice was shaking.

“Leen – this isn’t okay, I’m getting rid of him.”

The fear grew on her face and she grabbed his arm frantically. “Jake, no. You can’t get into a fight because of me.”

“He’s a piece of shit, I don’t want him anywhere near you.” He squeezed her arm softly before turning back to the door and inhaling deeply, trying to control his own temper. He threw the door open and thankfully her ex was smaller than he remembered. Definitely still an angry maniac who hit women but Jake was stronger.

Her ex tried to barrel through the door, attempting to get by him and to Alina, shoving into Jake who pushed him back. “Not gonna say it again, man. Get the fuck out of here. And don’t fucking come back.”

He tried again to get past Jake who muscled him back. He had tunnel vision, entirely focused on getting her ex the fuck away from her. He really didn’t want to get into a fist fight in the middle of the night but he would if it meant keeping her safe. Another shove and this time Jake was knocked back into the apartment. Alina gave a little shriek of panic and he heard her on the phone, giving their address and begging for someone to come quickly.

Again, her ex barreled towards him and this time, caught him around the waist. Jake fell back with a thud and just barely had time to get his arm up to protect himself from a punch. The second one landed, cracking him dully on the side of the head. Going off instinct, he pushed his hands on his chest, shoving as hard as he could to get him off of him.

The move managed to allow him to scramble up and reposition himself in front of Alina who looked like she was having a panic attack. But he barely had time to glance at her before returning his focus to her absolute fucking psycho ex who was preparing to take another swing at him. Ducking from the blow, he managed to hit him squarely in the face, hearing the satisfying crunch of a broken nose. Blood started to drip onto the floor and it slowed him down long enough for two cops to come barreling into the room, one grabbing her ex and the other pushing him back.

One cop tried to get control of the screaming Russian who was spewing blood all over the place while Jake immediately threw his hands up defensively to show he wasn’t doing anything. It only took about thirty seconds for the cops to recognize him.

“Jesus, DeBrusk?” the one that had initially tried to restrain him before realizing he wasn’t the problem. He was an older guy, maybe his dad’s age while the guy trying to hold onto Alina’s ex was younger and beefier, practically a John Cena clone.

“Yeah – can you guys get this asshole away from my girlfriend?” he snarled angrily, stepping over to snag Alina’s hand and pull her close to him. He was trying to calm his breathing, shaking out his hand that was already killing him while pulling her into his side.

“Okay, let’s all calm down here. Jesus – does this guy speak English?” the other officer said, still struggling to control him.

“Sir, officer, I’m sorry – he does but his English isn’t great.” Alina managed to get out, her voice cracking slightly. “His name is Mikhail Drozdov.”

Mikhail’s eyes flashed dangerously at Alina and he tried again to lunge forward to grab at her.

“None of that.” Officer Cena clone grunted, using one hand to twist Mikhail’s arm back behind him at a painful angle to snag his handcuffs before finally restraining him and plopping him down on the floor. “Stay. Does he understand ‘stay’?”

Alina hissed at Mikhail, her words sounding harsh and bitter. He was still glaring at the way she was tucked protectively into Jake’s side. The longer he was sitting there, the stronger the scent of vodka grew and Jake realized the guy was completely obliterated.

“Now that he’s restrained, can I ask you two a few questions?”

“Yes, sir.” Jake said, turning to his media training. He was going to get lit up by the front office if this got out but he was just happy he’d been here to protect Alina and now he just wanted to focus on getting everyone the fuck out of her apartment. “Can we grab some clothes first?”

The officer smirked at the pair of them in their state of undress. Alina was trying to cover herself and Jake made a point to shield as much of her body as she could.

“Go ahead, kids. We’ll try to interview Igor over here while we wait.”

Jake turned carefully, still keeping her as covered as he could as he nudged her back towards her bedroom. The second they were in the room Alina burst into tears and threw herself into his arms.

“Holy shit, Jake – I’m so sorry. So so fucking sorry.” She rambled into the crook of his neck, her tears soaking into his skin. “I don’t know what happened. He was yelling about something on Instagram? What does that even mean? How did he know we were together?”

Jake’s stomach flipped. Someone from the party had to have posted something that showed the pair of them together. He didn’t think it would be from the restaurant, that would take a lot to find but if it was in the background of one of the guys’ stories, it was possible.

He drew back so he could look at her, pushing her hair off her face and pressing a quick kiss to her nose. “I don’t know, baby. Maybe one of the guys shared something? And we were in the back? I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

“How much trouble are you going to be in?” she asked, focusing her worry on him. It made his heart hurt a little to think about the fact that some asshole had just physically tried to assault her and she was worried about him. Carefully, she brushed at his eye where the punch had landed. “I bet the cops would let you go back to your place. You don’t have to be involved. It’ll just be me and Mikhail.”

“Leen, I’m not leaving you. We didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll talk to Bergy in the morning. He’ll help but right now we have to go talk to them.”

Nervously, she nodded through wide, watery eyes. He hated seeing the terror on her face so he pulled her in for a kiss, pressing his lips to hers and holding her tightly for a long moment. When he released her, they quickly got dressed; Jake pulling on a Bruins sweatshirt of his that Alina had stolen a couple weeks ago while she dragged on a pair of yoga pants while keeping his shirt on. The buttons were crooked and only two of them done up so he paused to carefully fix it for her.

Finally they emerged from her room to find two more cops had arrived and Mikhail still on the floor, spitting an angry stream of Russian at those around him. When he spotted Alina he snarled and tried to move forward.

“Where’d you find this guy?” Cena clone asked, kicking at his leg slightly.

Alina ignored him, walking back towards the first cop they’d talked to. “I’m Alina Agapov.”

“Yes, ma’am. We pulled your info. I’m Sergeant McDonald. Let’s take a seat in the kitchen, okay?” It was like a switch had flipped, the police officer turning into a kindly uncle as he led Alina and Jake towards the kitchen island where the two of them sat down. “Looks like you have an active restraining order against Mr. Drozdov.”

Jake shot a surprised look at Alina. He had no idea that she’d taken her ex to court and he hated himself for not having been around to help her through it. And that she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about it.

She swallowed hard, moving closer to Jake and he wrapped his arm around her, letting her lead the conversation.

“Yes, that’s right. We just had the hearing a few weeks ago. He – he’s not supposed to come near me.”

“No, ma’am. We’re going to bring him into the station and hold him. He’ll have the option of bail but the more times he breaks the order, the worse it’ll be.” Sergeant McDonald said softly but his words did nothing to calm Jake’s anger.

“‘More times he breaks it’? What the fuck does that mean – he’ll just keep trying to attack her but bail will go up?”

“Calm down.” He said sharply, shooting Jake a stern look.

Alina squeezed his leg. “Jake, please. It’s okay.”

“No, it fucking isn’t.” He huffed under his breath but fell quiet as they were asked more questions. They recounted the night, explaining that they’d been asleep when Mikhail had showed up screaming then all that had happened to get to this point.

Jake chanced a glance behind him to see two of the officers hauling Mikhail out of the apartment. He sighed slightly, pulling Alina in tighter to him. After another ten minutes of answering questions, the officer finally seemed satisfied and offered a card to Alina.

“This is where we’ll be holding him and that’s where you can get a copy of the report. Recommend you call your lawyer in the morning, he’ll know what to do next.” He looked awkward, unsure of how to deal with a girl that was so clearly emotionally drained and then slid his gaze to Jake. “Listen – we, uh, we don’t have to put your name in the report or anything.”

Surprised, Jake looked at him. “That – that doesn’t seem right. I broke his nose.”

“We can work around that, son. The guy is gonna go to jail regardless, your girl has like seven police reports filed against him so it shouldn’t be a hard decision for the judge.”

The fact that Alina had filed so many reports hit him like a truck. It had clearly been far worse than he’d even realized. In a daze, knowing the cop was giving him an out because of who he was, he looked down at Alina.

“He’s right, Jake – this can fuck things up for you.” She said softly, her gray eyes pleading with him to think about himself.

It didn’t feel right. He was worried if there was anything that wasn’t right in that report, Mikhail would be able to work around it and get back at Alina.

So he shook his head no. “Just – write it as it happened, sir. I’ll sign it or whatever but it should be right.”

Sighing, Sergeant McDonald flipped his notebook closed. “Okay…we’ll do our best to keep it quiet though. And uh, good luck – you’re playing like a beast.”

He gave him a tight smile. The fact that they were talking about his play when a guy had just violently gone after his girlfriend didn’t exactly sit right with him.

But he walked him to the door, saying goodbye to the other cop who was lingering as well, staring curiously at Alina. This had been a nightmare of a night and there was still blood all over the floor. As he shut the door behind them, he leaned against it, tapping his head lightly against the surface.

He squeezed his eyes tightly before turning to face Alina. Her face was pale, quiet tears streaming down her cheeks. He rushed towards her, dragging her into his arms and holding her as she cried.

What a fucking night.

It was almost five in the morning. He had practice in a few hours and he knew he’d need to go in early to let management know about what had happened but right now all he could think about was holding Alina.

He rubbed her back gently, tilting her face up to his. “Baby, let’s go to my place – we can lay down for a bit longer.”

She sniffled, wiping her nose with his sleeve. “This is humiliating. I’m sorry, Jakey. Maybe you should just go – ”

“Stop apologizing. And there’s no way I’m going to leave you. I told you earlier I wasn’t going to give up on you. On us.”

“You called me your girlfriend.” She said softly, hands gripping his waist tightly.

He smiled down at her, “That’s because you are. At least, I want you to be.”

“So much for slow.” She managed to tease through a watery smile. “I like it. I like you.”

“Then come on, girlfriend. Let’s go home.”

Trying to ignore the blood on the floor, he told her he’d call someone to clean it tomorrow when she tried to pause to take care of it. He kept a tight hold on her hand as they walked the length of the hall to get to his apartment. It was quiet and peaceful in his place compared to what they’d just walked out of. He didn’t want to push her but he had more questions than answers at this point. There wasn’t anything she could do that would make him not want to be with her; that didn’t mean she could cut him out and not tell him things.

Alina went straight into his bedroom, pulling him along by his hand. She slid out of her yoga pants but kept his shirt on as she crawled into his bed. He pulled his sweatshirt off then slid in next to her, wrapping around her body.

“Can we talk, Leenie?” he whispered in her ear. “I need you to talk to me.”

She inhaled sharply, sniffling as she did and he felt her shake slightly. He wasn’t sure she’d share but then she started to speak softly. “We – we started dating when I was fifteen. My uh – my parents died when I was ten. That’s why I moved to the States. To be with my Dedushka. He lived in this neighborhood in Brooklyn that was mostly Russian and I met Mikhail there. It just – it was easy to talk to him, he knew what it was like. Leaving home and being in a place where people glared if you fucked up your English.”

Jake felt his heart pounding as she shook slightly in his arms. She pushed back into him to try to get closer and he just hugged her tightly, pressing a kiss to her head as she continued.

“I’d spent five years barely talking to anyone. Too scared to speak until my English was perfect. Then Mikhail showed up. He was always with his dad when they came to my Dedushka’s restaurant. He made me remember where I’d come from. His parents were from the same city I’d grown up in. He was familiar in the most comforting way.”

She paused, trying to catch her breath. Jake ran his fingers down her arm so he could lace their fingers together.

“He wasn’t always so terrible. My Deduskha would’ve kill him, that’s for sure.” She gave a watery little chuckle before continuing. “But then…” she paused and Jake could hear her sniffling again, a little whimper slipping from her lips.

“Baby, come’re.” he whispered against her head, loosening his grip so he could turn him towards him. Her eyes were filled with tears and he used his thumbs to wipe them away. “I’m sorry, if it’s too much – we can talk la – ”

“No,” she said sharper than he expected before her features softened. “I – I know I haven’t shared a lot with you. And you deserve to hear this after tonight.”

He leaned forward to kiss her gently, nudging his nose against hers until she smiled. It was harder for her now, facing him as she spoke. She stayed quiet for a long moment before finally staring up at him and continuing.

“My Dedushka died when I was nineteen. And then it was just me.” She whispered.

Jake swallowed hard. No wonder she never talked about family: she didn’t have any. He rubbed her back lightly as she tried to swallow back her tears.

“He was all I really had left. I’ve never made friends very easily and my whole life was in that little neighborhood in Brooklyn. But…well you saw him. The older he got, the more controlling. He expected us to get married and me to be his little wife and have babies but I didn’t want that.

“I wanted to be a nurse. I wanted to see what else was out there beyond the little corner I knew. We made a deal that we would go to Boston for a couple years and if he did that for me, I’d marry him.”

Her voice was so soft, he barely heard her but the words hit him like a truck. The idea that he would’ve never had this made him sick. But he stayed quiet, rubbing her back gently as she talked.

“He got a job in Boston easily with this international accounting firm, managing the Russian relationships. He settled in better than I did – going out with the guys he worked with constantly. I was studying and working so much, exhausted all the time but I noticed how bad his drinking got. He’d come home sometimes just…so fucking angry for no reason. He didn’t get rough until a year or so ago. But it was a pattern I’d seen from Mikhail’s own father. His mama was so…broken. I started to see that becoming my future.

“It just kept getting worse. The cheating. Yelling. The hitting. But then I met you.” She smiled slightly, looking up at him and pressing a quick kiss to his jaw. “And you just…were this light, funny, perfect guy. Who was soft and gentle with me and I started to fall for you but I didn’t know how to get away from Mikhail.”

“I wish I’d – I…” he struggled for the words, feeling lost and a little blindsided. “I didn’t know how to help you.”

“Jake, you did help me.” She swore, brushing his hair back off his forehead. “You couldn’t fix everything, I needed to fix a lot of it myself first. And I made mistakes by letting Mikhail back in so many times but he was my past – the closest thing I had to family and that was hard to let go.”

“Tell me about the restraining order.” He asked softly, bracing himself for how hard it would be to hear what she had to say.

“I did the right thing – the thing you’re supposed to which is report the abuse. So I started to. He was…it was usually the worst when you were out of town. It’s like he waited until you were gone then he’d come over raging like you just saw. I almost got evicted over the summer from the number of times they had to call the cops but the management company was surprisingly good about it.”

“Jesus, Leen – why didn’t you tell me?” Jake asked, trying not to get upset.

Her eyes filled with tears again. “It’s humiliating. All the neighbors hearing him scream at me and throw things then the cops showing up at all hours. I didn’t want you to know that about me.”

“I would’ve come back. I would’ve helped.” He drew her in closer, squeezing her against his chest.

“I know you would’ve, but you deserved your summer. Deserved time with your family and friends.” Her voice was muffled into his chest and she was crying softly again.

“Hey now,” he whispered, grasping her chin to turn her face up to his. “No more crying. Let’s get some sleep, you’re exhausted. This is still the best night of my life.”

That earned him another little laugh as she angled up to kiss him softly. “You haven’t had a very good life then, babe.”

He scoffed. “I’m in the NHL. Very important and cool and do a lot of things. You’re still the best thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed kisses along her face as she giggled and swatted him away.

“Oh, so now I’m just something you’ve done?” she raised an eyebrow at him and he groaned, flopping his head back on the pillow. She kept a smile on her face as she rolled on top of him, straddling his waist.

He caught her hips to keep her steady, rubbing his thumb along her skin. “This is a nice view.”

Leaning back, she grabbed for his right hand. “You okay?” She pressed a kiss to each knuckle, frowning at how red they were before focusing on his face. Gently, she brushed her fingers along his tender cheek. “Do you need ice? I think this is gonna be a black eye.”

“I’m fine. Come’re,” he urged and pulled her down to him so he could thread his hands through her hair to pull her down to his lips. “Want a kiss. Then it’s bedtime.”

“Shit – what time do you have practice?”

“Eleven. I’m gonna go around ten though. I need to talk to Bergy and figure out who to talk to on the team.”

Alina frowned. “I told you I was a train wreck. It’s not too late to – ”

Jake cut her off, leaning forward to kiss her before pulling back. “Leen, I mean this is the nicest way possible – shut up. You’re my girl.”

“Thank you, Jakey.” She whispered, sliding off him and nestling back into his side.

He pressed a kiss to her temple. “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up before I go.”

She mumbled something in Russian, pressing her lips to his chest and then she was out like a light. He lay awake for a while after she’d fallen asleep, holding her against him and thinking about the night. Everything she’d told him about her life made things so much clearer: the way she was so strong and stubborn yet had continually gone back to an abusive boyfriend, how she never talked about her past or her family. He wished she’d told him sooner but he knew he couldn’t have dragged this out of her until she was ready.

The sun was just starting to peak through the windows when he finally dropped off to sleep, dreading what waited for him at practice later but still happier than he’d been in a long time.

#jake debrusk #jake debrusk fic #hockey fic #hockey fanfiction #writing #hockeyblr #nhl #nhl fic #hockey writing #boston bruins #bruins #boston bruins fic #so here is two!#I hope it's okay #and yes #darker than the first part

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