#I just think resilient characters are more effective when we’ve seen what it takes to make them break

[corellianhounds]

I know part of Leia’s character in the original trilogy is rooted in her stoicism in the face of overwhelming odds but her maturity, capability, and levelheadedness on the Death Star and beyond makes her a largely stagnant character over the course of the original trilogy. Her arc in Empire and Return of the Jedi is being able to swallow her pride and start opening up to Han. Han and Luke both go through drastic and notable character arcs over the course of each movie and the trilogy as a whole which makes them dynamic and interesting to watch

Leia doesn’t have to mature or learn anything because she’s already mature. Though it makes sense for her to need and have that as a young senator being thrust into the role of a war general at a young age, we don’t really get a whole lot else from her (which is why I think we’ve had girlboss!Leia as a cultural sticking point and merchandise opportunity for almost fifty years).

For the most part I’m kind of… indifferent to Leia on her own because we don’t really get Leia on her own. In the original movies the biggest part of her character comes from her interactions with Luke and Han, and then she’s responsible for running the Rebellion after that. Personally, I think the most unique and interesting actions we get to see from her come from the Jabba’s palace sequence, starting with her entrance as Boushh and ending with her strangling Jabba the Hutt. The rest of the time we’re seeing her in the context of the war and/or her romance with Han, but not dealing with the larger implications of some of the things specific to her. She and Luke aren’t together much on Endor especially after the sibling/Darth Vader reveal, and her relationship with Han is still one where the two of them are on largely equal ground with each other. She’s allowed to be angry and irritated with and take out her frustrations on him (which to be fair is a kind of vulnerability in itself) because he has the ability to get under her skin and (largely) has the wherewithal to take what she dishes back, and she doesn’t HAVE to play nice with him the way she does the rest of the people under her command. After that, Leia doesn’t get much outside of what she’s doing for other people.

And I get it! There’s only so much story you can tell in two hours! And I know it’s a fairytale, I know these are still stock character tropes within the context of a space opera, and that’s fine! I don’t dislike the movies or Leia because of that, and I would have been fine with her arc being one of a strong-willed, independent, and capable, mature young woman having to learn to rely on the people around her and learn to ask for help and humble herself to the point of vulnerability with the people who care about her IF…

If they had applied those aspects of her character to more than just her romance with Han. We really only get one genuine moment of vulnerability from Leia in the sibling reveal on Endor where she’s distraught and Han finds her. The rest of her emotional moments are still played with the mask of aloofness and control, and while it DOES make sense for that to be necessary of her because of the position she fills within the story and the Rebellion, it does still make her a little bland in terms of character development because we have nothing to contrast that control with.

Stoicism and regality and capability are more impressive when we’ve seen the other side of that spectrum in the character. Leia’s resilience would have been more poignant and impressive and heartbreaking if we’d gotten to see her grapple with things that are beyond her ability to remain stoic about; the two big ones are the destruction of Alderaan, and finding out who her real father is.

I know Luke is the main character of the trilogy. I know there wouldn’t have been time to explore the gravity of those moments with Leia in a meaningful way without the movies being much longer and running the risk of diverting focus from the story Luke was driving, and the movies are, at the end of the day, supposed to be fun. They’re not meant to be hard dramas.

But can you imagine. Can you imagine.

If we’d gotten to see Leia truly devastated by the destruction of Alderaan happening in front of her very eyes. Can you imagine seeing her break free from the guards to run to a massive viewport that makes her look small and powerless against the black void of space, Vader and Tarkin allowing it because they finally have something that’s getting a reaction out of the unflappable princess who has apparently endured hours of torture without giving up the location of the Rebel base. Leia struggling and failing to keep down the rising panic as Tarkin threatens to destroy an entire planet, her home world, family and friends and people she’s known her entire life in imminent danger as the Empire closes in with a battle station the size of a moon.

Her mother and father are down there.

The Sith lord is silent behind her as Imperials around the bridge work with complete indifference to this woman whose home and people they are planning to destroy, Tarkin’s boredom and feigned polite tone of voice asking her again where the rebels are located. Leia hesitates at the window, not looking at any of them, and the smile Tarkin had before dissipates as he orders the men to ready the shot. Leia turns back from the viewport to come halfway back across the bridge, struggling to keep up the front of diplomacy as she lies and tells them the rebel base is on Dantooine, desperately pleading with them to spare Alderaan and praying against all hope that she’s bought them some time.

Tarkin finally looks satisfied. And then he gives the order anyway.

Leia finally breaks as the men around them fire up the laser, her pleading with Tarkin not to do it, to spare her people, she’s given them what they want, she gave up the Rebel Alliance, please, there are billions of people there with nothing to do with the Rebellion, please you can’t do this, please—

The sound of a massive energy surge accompanies a flash of brilliant green light behind her. Leia screams “No!” as she turns and runs back to collide with the viewport, her face stricken in horror as she slams her fist against it in a futile effort to stop them, to do something, to do anything—

But there never was anything she could have done that would have stopped Tarkin’s order. Alderaan is annihilated, an entire planet and people blasted into oblivion by an uncaring Empire.

Leia sinks to the floor in horror, one hand against the window and the other covering her mouth as complete and utter heartbreak plays out across her face. Tarkin motions for two guards to drag her to her feet and they begin to take her away. The Sith Lord and Imperial Moff watch impassively as the princess without clan or kin weeps into her hands for the homeworld she would never have been able to save, no matter what she tried to bargain with.

For the rest of the movie we see Leia seemingly untouchable, calm and in control. Nobody thinks to ask if she’s okay because she never gives them a reason to think otherwise. It’s only when those closest to her find her alone that they see how vulnerable she really is, and it won’t be until she nearly loses them too that the façade starts to break.

[joontier]

The King’s Guard | Chapter 7 

pairings: kim seokjin x reader ; jeon jungkook x reader ; min yoongi x reader

series rating: R(18+) | genre: angst, forbidden love, longing, immense pining 

warnings: none to note 

word count: 6.6k

g/n: HAHGFJFIE FINALLY!!!!!!!! that is all. ((also painfully and regrettably unedited)) thank you. THIS IS THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR ASJDFOAWJEFI SEND ME YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE? 

The King’s Guard - Masterlist  ||  navi.

The King’s Guard | Chapter 7

“Hoseok.” 

Yoongi keeps his voice low as he attempts to poke the general awake, vigorously, yet with the right amount of caution so as not to wake the naked sleeping court lady in his arms. Chaeyoung, was it? The southern king ponders on wistfully as he pulls the blanket up again to maintain the modesty in the room - if there was any left, that is. 

The young king of the south had already sensed the tension between the pair when they were first acquainted with each other. Yoongi, not a stranger to the wants of the flesh, already knew this was coming. If it only weren’t for the places they hold in the palace, they would have made a great couple. 

Surely though, the two were old enough to know that clothes were still warranted even after what Yoongi could only assume to have been a steamy evening between the two. It wasn’t appropriate to just go sleeping in the nude especially when one could easily barge in at any time of the day, just as Yoongi had done. 

The blonde-haired king continues poking at the general by the ribs, cursing when the latter won’t respond and instead rolls over to the other side, pulling Chaeyoung closer in his arms. 

Good heavens. Why does this have to be so hard? 

For one, he’d already wasted time this morning trying to locate Hoseok, who he reckons no longer enjoys sleeping in his own quarters; finding more comfort in the danger that lies with sleeping in the court ladies’ quarters instead. He makes a mental note to address this to Hoseok later as this was going to be a major headache later on. 

Should this relationship of theirs proceed with its imminent direction, not only the general will be facing the grave consequences of their actions, but the poor court lady will have to take responsibility as well. 

“Hoseok.” The young king of the south nudges him once more, this time stronger than the last. Yoongi hears the general groan in response, and lets himself sit back against the wall in relief. At least this reaction was better than the log he was trying to wake just moments ago. 

That is, until he realizes he spoke too soon. 

Hoseok rolls over and proceeds to lie on his stomach. Yoongi cards his fingers through his temple, jaw clenched as he tries to figure out a more effective way to get the general up on his feet. 

He spots a vessel on top of Chaeyoung’s dresser, and Yoongi smirks as an unorthodox idea of waking up someone pops in his head. Quietly creeping up from the floor, he grabs the clay container by its neck and tilts the vessel, pouring the water onto Hoseok’s bare back. This ought to do the job. Just as expected, the liquid had the southern general scrambling to his feet. 

Squinting his eyes as he looks around, Hoseok comes face to face with his king, eyes trained on him like a tiger waiting on his prey. Hoseok immediately sits up, cowering under the king’s daunting gaze, “M-my king…”

Yoongi promptly gets up, not wanting to bother himself with another look at Hoseok’s naked form. “Get up. Meet me by the stables,” the king orders, sliding the door open, “and next time, please maintain some dignity and remember to put clothes on before sleeping.” 

The general clambers from the court lady’s yo, taking his discarded clothes by the corner of the room as the southern king heads to the stables first. 

“Did she really knock you out that bad that you were harder to wake than a sleeping cow?” 

Even at dawn when the sun hasn’t risen yet, Yoongi sees the general blush under the sky’s soft shade of purple. “If I could say so for myself, she was quite flexible, your Highness…” Hoseok whispers shyly as he chews on his lip. Yoongi’s mouth falls agape at his general’s confession, grimacing at the awful mental images it brought to his mind this early in the morning. 

“General.” Hoseok straightens himself atop his steed, knowing that the king meant business when he calls him by his official title. “You should know that what I had said was a question I needed not answered.” 

“My apologies, my King.” Hoseok says, expression unchanging when he whispers under his breath. “It’s not like I’m the only one who’s getting frisky with the women of the palace.” Yoongi’s eyes narrow as he glares at the general, guiding his horse nearer to Hoseok’s, seemingly taunting the latter to say more. “Ah yes,” the general gets the message and bows, but Yoongi doesn’t miss the small smirk playing on the younger man’s lips, “this is the part where I keep my mouth shut.” 

Bored out of his wits (and disrupted from his very lovely sleep), the general turns to his king, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, jeonha, but where exactly are we headed to at this time of the day?”

“We’re already here.” Hoseok, with his question answered in the most unexpected manner, gives an awkward nod as a reply to the southern king. He studies the place where Yoongi had led him to in this early morning and in recognition, his would seemingly winces at him as he remembers the day they’ve faced death in the eyes, and luckily got away with it.

In subconscious reminiscence, Yoongi flexes his shoulders, a short tinge of pain stings through the breadth of his back. Hoseok, in similar thought, does the same, reaching over to his side to feel the slowly healing wound.

The small clearing was not as ghastly as it had been when they had first arrived at this part of the forest.  The previously horrific scenery was no more; the doltap shrine, formerly made from dead bodies toppled over each other was now replaced by actual rocks and other mementos of the deceased.

Yoongi dismounts from his horse, a small cloud of dust appearing as he lands on the ground. Just like that, he’s taken back to the same night he’d met Seokjin – the same night he and Hoseok had narrowly escaped the hands of death. The southern king closes his eyes, reliving the scene like it was just yesterday.

“Forgive me, jeonha, but why are we here? If I should say so myself, my king, we we’re lucky enough to get away last time…if we stay here any longer, I’m not particularly sure what or who could be waiting for us this time.”

“We have to look for something.”

“Which is?”

“I’m not sure too. Just… I don’t think Seokjin is dead yet.”

Hoseok looks at him, worry painting all over his features. Yoongi had never concerned himself with the capitol, all the more with its king. The southern general couldn’t quite put a finger on it yet, but he is sure that there is a missing piece of the puzzle he has yet to discover. It won’t be long before he does.

Jungkook watches you from the shade of another nearby tree, indulging himself with an apple he picked earlier on the way to the gardens. You’ve just finished teaching five new characters to the class, and as a reward for their exemplary behavior, you decided to treat them with a story – one you’re telling with such animation right now.

He joins the children in laughter when you imitate a creature: an elephant, he reckons, though he’s never seen one in real life. Subsequently, you use your arm as a trunk and even start to make the strangest sounds to mimic the animal. Peels of the sound of amusement resonate throughout the open space. Even the court ladies you’d initially came with join soon afterwards, making their best impressions of different animals.

The sight was most endearing. You’re a natural when it comes to children, Jungkook attests to himself. You were patient, caring, and kind – all the traits of a good mother already inherent in you. It was no question that you child will grow up to be just as wonderful as you are.

Being a widow though? Not so much.

Despite the bountiful radiance brought about by these children, he could still see the sadness in your eyes. Gone are your usually bright orbs, mirth and brilliance swimming freely in your pupils.

It’s only been a week since the news of Seokjin’s passing and the announcement of your pregnancy. You’d maintained your cheeriness but Jungkook fears it all might have been just a façade because your smiles never reached your eyes unlike before.

Jungkook knew you were strong. Even the whole palace would agree on that fact. You were stronger than anyone could ever admit and you were far stronger than you think you were. It was a trait of yours that even only the bravest could only hope to be bestowed with. Your resilience was one of your many characteristics that Jungkook admired so much.

But at the same time, he fears this mask of courage you put on was going to be the same thing that was going to destroy you slowly from the inside.

Jungkook understood where you were coming from. Truly, he did. He’s dealt with enough royals all his life to know that a simple display of weakness could be perceived for something far greater than it is. Royals are groomed and nurtured to perfection from the moment they are born, and in their lifetime, they are only afforded a specific set of standards they had to live by strictly, else they lose the respect of the council and subsequently, their people.

It was madness at the least, to think that royals are supposed to be as stiff as their forefathers now commemorated by figures made of stone or some precious mineral. How strangely ironic.

Crown aside, you are but a human being, a woman, who had just lost her husband, and is now burdened with having to deal with your pregnancy alone. On top of all the responsibilities of a queen, including those of which Seokjin had left you.

Jungkook knew he was a mere soldier in your eyes, but he wanted to help you in the hopes to alleviate the pain you were going through; he wanted you to know that he feels your pain and he knows the suffering of one who has likewise lost a loved one.

He knows you’re constantly pre-occupying yourself with these things, always looking for a distraction to forget your personal sentiments. Jungkook could only imagine what struggles you’re going through right now and how badly he wishes he could hold you in his arms and tell you it’s going to be alright and he’s going to be there for you no matter what.

“Jungkook? Captain?”

“Huh?”

Jungkook scrambles to his feet as he sees you looking down on him as he rested by the bark of the tree. “Jungjeon-mama!”

Chuckling, you remove a stray leaf that stuck itself to his pants. Jungkook’s heart flutters at the small gesture. “Are you alright, captain? I’ve been calling for you but you seem busy staring off into the distance…” He gulps.

“Alright. Will you accompany me to the doltap shrine then?”

“Of course, Mama.”

Just like before, the two of you walk in comfortable silence, although the captain beside you looks more tense than ever. “Jungkook. Are you sure you’re alright? If you’re unwell, I can just go on my own. You can head back to your quarters.”

The captain quickly shakes his head, but when you meet his eyes, there’s a heavy weight in his stare that you wish to mention, but you don’t want to push his boundaries any further, especially when the two of you had been closer than any of you would have imagined.

You look away as you reach the top of the tiny slope, the dock finally in view. Jungkook immediately offers his elbow for your support, and you place a hand on the same with much gratitude.

He steps into the tiny boat first, readying the oars where he can reach them easily for later. Extending a hand out, he beckons you over to the canoe. Due to an unknown factor, you miss the gap between the boat and the dock, tripping slightly as you get inside. “Mama! Our– the baby!” You laugh at your own clumsiness before placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine! I’m fine… stop acting like I’m a porcelain doll…” you joke, settling yourself on the seat.

“I’m just concerned about your well-being,” Jungkook mumbles, not meeting your eyes as he fixes the oars with a pout on his face. What a big baby. Gently, you put a hand on his knee, urging him to look at you, “I know,” you give him a warm smile, “and I’m very thankful to have you nearby all the time.”

It was the whole truth. Ever since Minho came barging in with your husband’s clothes and until the announcement of your pregnancy with the council, Jungkook has always been there. Since then, you’d opted to stay inside your hanok most of the day, unless you had to come out for your official duties.

He’d always be there, waiting outside your hanok as you’re about to leave for your responsibilities. You’d even suggested having Yunho come with you instead but the stubborn captain insisted, telling you it is his greatest honor to be your personal guard.

The boat pushes forward and you tilt your head back slightly, enjoying the cool, crisp air. “It’s a beautiful day today isn’t it?”. Jungkook smiles this time, “Certainly, wangbi.”

You decide to leave the shrine late in the afternoon as Jungkook wasn’t able to bring a lamp with him. The sky is becoming a lovely purple, and as the captain manages to safely bring you both back across the river, you make your final request of the day from him. “Why don’t we sit here a while longer? Enjoy the sunset perhaps?” You’re already patting the grass beside you, leaving Jungkook no choice.

Jungkook finally gathers up the courage to ask you this time, “How about you, Mama? Are you alright?” Jungkook doesn’t know what kind of response to expect but he hopes that you will be able to recognize the true depth of his sudden inquiry.

You don’t answer at first. It seemed as if you were trying to gather your thoughts before you reply. “I’m alright,” you retort with a smile. There it is again – the ingenuine grin. “Taehyung had just visited me yesterday to recommend meals I could have prepared that will give me and the baby enough nutrition.”

Right, you were also pregnant. He almost forgot that for a moment. That was another reason he couldn’t sleep at night – could he possibly be a fath-

“How I wish my child’s father was still here to witness him or her grow up.”

Oh. Right. Jungkook chokes back a sob.

This was only one of the many times he’d realized he’d been a fool all along, but this realization had been the most painful yet.

Just as if on cue, Jungkook feels something cold hit his cheek from above. There’s a grey cloud reigning over them, like it’s giving a warning signal of the storm that’s about to come.

He turns to you, worry apparent in his features once more. “Mama, we have to go back!” Just then, there’s a downpour of water, evidently drenching you both. He extends his arm out, even offering you a ride back home on his back. You stand up on your own though, but you don’t take his hand, nor did you follow him back to the palace.

“Mama?”

“Let’s stay for a little while longer.”

“But you might catch a cold, mama.”

“Since when was a cold fatal?” The smile on your face is almost devilish and Jungkook finds himself powerless to say no. “Come on!” you urge, clapping excitedly. “When was the last time you played under the rain?”

“When I was a kid?”

“All the more reason to have fun then!”

The last time he purposefully stayed under the rain was with you, and he promised himself that he would never do it again if you weren’t going to be with him.

You were both young and your rendezvous at the southern forest were nothing short of cherished moments. There were days when the downpour was ultimately unavoidable, especially when you’re playing in the middle of the forest. Rain hadn’t stopped you both from meeting nonetheless. There were also days when he just waited at your designated meeting place, only accompanied by the angry clouds while his body shivered from the cold.

When the years had passed by, Jungkook didn’t find anything enjoyable with staying under the rain so he stayed indoors most of the time, unless it was part of his official duties. Besides, everything else seemed to lose its purpose if you weren’t in it.

Life for him was a storm he was waiting to pass, but since he’d met you that day in the forest all muddy, he learned that life was about learning how to dance in the rain. Ironically enough, you were also the sun that brought light to his life, providing him with enough energy to last for centuries.

You feel something by your feet, prompting you to jump into Jungkook’s arms in fright. The captain gets surprised by your actions, causing him to almost lose his footing. Jungkook looks down to see any damage and sees a brown slimy creature camouflaging with the grass, “Mama, it’s just a frog…”

You frown adorably, giving him a hard time with an irresistible pout. How he wishes he could just kiss you right now. “I’m not particularly fond of these creatures…” You gasp when another one croaks, tightening your grip around the captain’s arms. Jungkook’s mouth twitches in silent celebration at your touch. He may or may not have flexed his muscles too on purpose – but that was most likely a primary instinct when the woman of your dreams encourages physical contact, albeit subconsciously.

Jungkook’s jubilation is cut short when more frogs start to appear out of nowhere, causing you to squeeze even tighter, your grip bordering on pain. For some unknown, you’ve managed to latch on his back with your constant avoidance of the tiny, slimy creatures. “Jung!” you shout, now relentlessly slapping his arm; Jungkook huffs - so much for his fantasies. “We have to get out of here Jungkook!!”

The quick-witted captain crouches low enough, telling you to jump on his back. He didn’t need to actually tell you though, because the moment he’d turned around you already had your hands hooked over his shoulders, trying to get him to hurry. Because of all the movements and the noise, the frogs share the same level of alarm as you – one even manages to fasten itself on your shoe. You flail your foot about, subsequently making it fly about a few feet away and thus, making Jungkook burst into laughter.

He remembers the time he’d surprised you with a frog inside a box in front of the whole class, and now you’d managed to get a whole army of frogs chasing you both. It was a living nightmare – for you at least, Jungkook on the contrary though, is positive that he’s having the time of his life watching frogs terrify you.

Just as expected, Jungkook loses his breath from laughter, setting you down gently as you go over the slope. You’re a little bit too hesitant to let go though, that even when Jungkook has turned to face you, you’re still clinging onto his jeogori as if your life depended on it. It’s a relief when he hears you giggle in his chest, assuring him that you were no longer frightened.  

Only silence remained as the laughter dies down. There’s the muted croaking of the frogs in the distance, but other than that, you’re left standing in his arms, quiet as ever. “Is it alright if I hold you like this for a while?”

Your sudden request throws the captain off guard. He’s powerless to say no, not when this is the moment he’d been waiting and imagining for years. “Can we just stay like this for a moment longer, Mama?” His voice almost breaks, pleading at the least.

“Of course, Jungkook.”

It seems like a hug is what you both just need.  

Just as the rain pours over them, Jungkook feels his own tears rolling down hotly against his cheeks, contrasting the cold droplets of rainwater. His heart hurts. He’s crying.

Actually, you both are.

You find Yoongi lounging extremely close by the doors of your hanok two days later.

The proximity of the southern king startles you and as a gust of wind blows by, some of his bright yellowish hair fly straight into your mouth, “Yoongi!” He fumbles as he pushes his hair back over his shoulder. “Apologies my queen.” There are at least two strands left in your face and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to reach out his hand, taking out the strands with such tenderness, shivering when you feel the cold pads of his fingers against your cheek.

It takes you a moment before you realize what’s happening and you pull away, turning on your heel. “What are you doing here anyways?” you ask, sliding your doors close. You’re meant to wake a lot earlier than you did today and if you don’t hurry, you might just miss your music class with the village kids.

Yoongi hurries after you, trying to keep up with your pace, “I was…um…wondering if I could come to your class today?”

“You?” you think out loud, not sparing him a glance. You don’t put much thought to it with your haste to make it in time, and you tell him he’s free to do whatever he wants. He doesn’t say anything else after that, so you quicken your pace towards the palace gardens.

You reach the reserved spot in no time, with the children already settled in, chatting and playing among themselves. Just as you’d requested the night prior, your gayageum has been assembled just underneath the oak tree.

“Jungjeon-mama, who is that ahjussi behind you?” Turning to see who the child was pertaining to, you come to see Yoongi standing behind you, seemingly offended at how he’d been perceived to be way older than he actually is.

“Ahjussi?!” Yoongi exclaims, face twisted into a grimace, “Who are you calling ahjussi, kid?”

The children are taken aback by the tone of his voice, unaware that he hadn’t taken any offense with the child’s question. The poor boy’s lips quiver in fear. You give the southern king a quick glare before calling the boy over and letting him sit on your lap. While Yoongi approaches the both of you with a softened gaze, the boy nuzzles his head by the crook of your neck, murmuring his fright over the man’s temper.

“Hey little bud,” Yoongi crouches, tapping the boy’s shoulder twice to get the latter to face him. The boy peeks slowly from your neck, eyeing the blonde-haired man warily. “I’m sorry about earlier son. I was just surprised because no one had ever called me that –“

He wasn’t actually going to explain it is he? You clear your throat, interrupting him. Yoongi’s mouth presses into a thin line.

“Right. Say, could you tell me your name?”

“It’s Jinseo.”

“Hello, Jinseo. It’s nice to meet you. My name is Yoongi. Could I make it up to you by playing a song?”

Jinseo paused, head titled slightly to the right as if in deep thought. “It isn’t mine to give you permission. You should ask Mama,” he says smartly, pointing at you. Kids are getting smarter these days.

“Jungjeon-mama?” Yoongi asks with an expectant look. With the other children following suit, you are left with no other choice but to say yes. Reluctantly, you lift yourself up together with Jinseo and taking a spot next to the other children.

“Let me just try to…” Yoongi adjusts himself on the seat, plucking the strings in an uncoordinated manner, “remember…” All of a sudden, he claps like he’d just produced gold from thin air, startling everyone around. “I got it! I got it now, don’t worry.”

You and Jinseo share a look.

If there was any discipline of the arts you could take pride for in yourself, it would have been music. Your father, King Daesin of the south, aside from occasionally practicing medicine, also had the ear for music. He had taught you how to play the gayageum, an instrument you’ve been acquainted with for as long as you could remember. Because of fair years of playing, you could freely boast to anyone that you’re quite exceptional at it, but now with Yoongi and his hands on your beloved instrument... Yoongi was tremendously better at it than you probably ever will be.

A smile creeps onto your face when you realize his acting earlier, pretending to be a beginner with the instrument when he could totally be mistaken for a musical prodigy. What a humble bragger. Yoongi had his eyes closed, pouring his emotion and soul onto the instrument, and even without having to enunciate lyrics to get the message across, it was clear to everyone that the song conveyed sadness in all forms. Each vibration of the string – every sound it made spoke in volumes, moving everyone present in class. By the time he’d finished, all the children were as silent as mice, rigid as statues. This was the first time you’ve seen them all well-behaved.

It also dawns on you that this was the first time any of you were deeply moved by music.

The rest of the class stay silent moments later, all in deep contemplation despite the differences in your ages. From your side, you hear a child sigh to the girl in front of her, “I came to class happy this morning. Now I’m sad.” All of a sudden, Jinseo scrambles out of your lap and rushes to Yoongi, hugging the older man’s side in an awkward manner. Yoongi is caught off guard by the gesture, patting the little boy’s head in a similarly awkward manner.

“Ahjussi,” Jinseo calls once more, maintaining his hold on Yoongi’s waist. The southern king heaves a deep sigh, knowing he’s going to have to deal with that a lot longer than he intended to be. “Why are you sad? You played sad music for us. Now we’re all sad too.” Yoongi is rendered speechless and looks at you with wide eyes, seeking for your help. “Uh...Jinseo, why don’t you ask your Yoongi-hyungnim to play us a happy song then?”

“A happy song!” Sheepishly, Yoongi cheers, clapping his hands in an attempt to get everyone back in high spirits. Thankfully, the children seem to enjoy the idea, so they goad the ahjussi on, wanting to see if he’s just as talented with cheery songs as he is with sorrowful ones.

With a small smile, Yoongi mouths a ‘thank you’ in your direction before placing his hands on the gayageum once more.

“Thank you for saving me a few times earlier during your class,” the southern king says, leaning towards you while he mimics your movements as you wave goodbye to the children. “You haven’t had much experience with children, haven’t you?” you raise a brow at him while a laugh escapes your lips.

“I’m afraid I don’t,” Yoongi replies, chuckling to himself.

“It’s good practice though, what you did earlier. One day, you’re going to be a father as well.”

Yoongi eyes you slowly from the side, checking if you realize the gravity of your words. His eyes lower down to your stomach, imagining if the baby growing inside of it was his own blood. Perhaps it was? Perhaps it wasn’t?

He’d been especially concerned about your well-being since last week when shocking news had been continuously delivered right to your arms. He wanted to approach you badly during those rough days, but you were far too pre-occupied to even spare him a second glance. The young king wonders how much of a difficulty it might be for you, but all he wanted was to show you that he was willing to support you in any way that he can.

Yoongi sees Hoseok approach with the jumeoni he’d personally prepared early in the morning. He sees his brother trail not far behind, studying the silk bag in Hoseok’s hands. The southern king had been nervous since last night, continuously practicing his lines to the point where he’s not sure why he’s doing it in the first place. It’s now or never.

“Jungjeon-mama?”

Yoongi winces inwardly as he hears his own voice wavering. Heavens. Why was he so nervous around you? You turn to him with a warm smile. Ah yes – that’s why.

“May I invite you for a walk?” The southern king asks as he beckons his general over who hands him the silk bag. “And lunch perhaps?”

You pause for a moment, recalling your thoughts if you had anything else planned after your music class with the children. Yoongi tries hard to not show too much excitement when he hears your yes. Extending his arm out, he motions for you to walk with him. He feels Jungkook follow you both, and he leans to your side a little, whispering, “I was wondering if we could perhaps…go alone?”

You look at him, as if studying his facial expressions. Turning around, you tell Jungkook to stay put. The captain’s eyes dart back and forth, giving his own older brother a steely gaze before nodding his head and bowing to you. “Don’t worry captain. I’ll scream loudly if anything bad happens,” you tell him as a reassurance.

“In all seriousness, Mama…” Yoongi says, putting on a stern face, even though you are both experiencing clear difficulty with keeping a straight face after hearing Yoongi’s stories. “…do I seriously look like an ahjussi to you?”  

You place a hand over your mouth, ineffectively hiding your giggles. Yoongi grimaces, clutching his chest to express his hurt over your reaction. “We can’t blame the kids though. And besides, Jinseo had a valid point.” The young king gives you a playful glare.

Yoongi had been expressing his sentiments over the whole ‘ahjussi’ situation earlier, arguing that he didn’t have enough wrinkles on his face to be even considered one. In Jinseo’s earlier defense though, he stated that only old people had white hair, and if he wasn’t old – why would he even have white hair in the first place. To which, of course, an agitated Yoongi replies: “It’s not white. It’s yellow…ish. And it’s bleach! It’s something I discovered during an overseas travel! A lot of people have this kind of hair color…”

“How are you feeling? Is your pregnancy going well?”

“How did you know about my pregnancy?” Yoongi shrugs as he replies, “Walls are never thick enough to hide news like that.” “Oh.” ‘Oh’ is an appropriate reaction, Yoongi reckons, as he’s had the same sort of response when he’d heard of the news.

“Well, for one, our royal physician Taehyung had scheduled regular visits to keep my condition in check. So there’s that. He advises that as long as keep a stress-free environment, my pregnancy will be just fine.”

Using your chopsticks, you fiddle with the mandu he’s made hours prior, deep in thought as you stare into the distance.

Yoongi hopes that the apparent death of your husband isn’t conducive of stress of a stress-free environment. He makes an inward scoff – as if that’s most likely going to happen. If he’s already thorned by occurrences that seem insignificant to those of the capitol’s then he could only imagine the sort of struggle you have to go through, especially when the backbone of your government is composed of vile men who are strongly displeased by the thought of having a woman on the throne.

The young man lies on his back, stretching out his legs to get rid of the tingling on his soles due to their prolonged sitting. With a long exhale, he closes his eyes, letting his thoughts drift along with the steady breeze.

He knows he’s neglecting his duties as the king of the south by prolonging his stay here, but Seokjin’s death won't settle with him nicely. He has to get to the bottom of this. Even if he’s still holding a grudge against Seokjin for taking you away from the south (and had even secretly wished him dead at some point) he could never plunge a sword to another king, much more to the same one who had taken care of the woman he wanted to call his wife.

He hears rustling from your side, and Yoongi opens his eyes a little to check on you. He watches you clean the bowls and reorganize them back onto the bag he’d brought. You slowly start to turn to face him and Yoongi quickly shuts his eyes, solely relying on his other sense to figure out what’s happening.

“Oh? You must’ve fallen asleep huh?” Yoongi hears more rustling around. “Maybe you could still listen to me even during slumber…” You inhale deeply, “You know…Seokjin was always good with children.”

Yes. Of course, speaking of the spirit.

“Jinseo was one of his favorite students. Jinseo was actually really shy and quiet at first – yet for some inexplicable reason, Seokjin had successfully helped him to come out of his shell and the little boy has been brighter since. Seokjin was always so playful yet so gentle at the same time that whenever he’d visit our classes the children would go crazy over him.”

Well, that’s nice to hear, especially when he’d made a particularly bad first impression with the children earlier.

There’s momentary silence. Yoongi hears a sniff – and a shaky exhale afterwards.

“I miss him Yoongi.” Another sniff. “I miss him so much that it hurts every day. Everything reminds me of him.” The sound of your silent crying rings throughout his ears, yet he can't bring himself to get up and wipe them away, fearing it might cause you to stop pouring your heart out.

Mourning was part of healing. You’d feel lighter after crying. At least that’s what he’d learned from having lost his mother too.

At the same time, Yoongi feels his chest constrict at your words. While you pour your fears out to his sleeping form, he struggles with maintaining a stoic face to keep his act up. His empathy is fighting to register in his features, and when he can no longer hold it in, he turns his back to you, swallowing back his emotions that threaten to pour out after years of hiding.

“Jeonha, I can't seem to find any sign of him anywhere.”

Hoseok slowly and carefully gets back up from his crouching position, groaning in relief as he hears his joints cracking as he twists his torso from side to side. Yoongi does the same, shaking his legs one at a time to get rid of the numbness.

It’s been a few hours since they’ve arrived and Yoongi is getting more hopeless with every passing moment. They have searched everywhere for anything – any sign that he’s still alive.

He’d promised you he’d find your husband and bring him back. Even though you hadn’t exactly heard the silent vow of the southern king, he was a man of his word and he’ll be sure to do everything in his capacity to do it.

Yoongi couldn’t even find the reason why he was going to do it or why he should do it in the first place – whether it be for his own peace of mind, for your happiness, or for the future of the country.

He knew they’d left Seokjin that night and the chances that his fellow ruler was still alive was almost slim to none. He knows that trying to look for a clue and actually succeeding was going to be a long shot, especially when it has already been quite some time Yoongi had returned this morning to make sure but after hours of looking, the place was clean and empty, thus pushing down that gut feeling that maybe, just maybe, your husband was still alive.

Else he’d be forced to prolong his stay and resort to more meddling to protect you from harm.

They’ve already gone through this area, Yoongi thinks, recognizing the same stump he’d seen earlier. He settles himself on the tree remainder and picks up a fallen leaf. Just then, something glimmers from the ground and the curious king bends over once more, picking it up. It’s a bracelet.

Yoongi scoffs to himself: an even more shocking discovery. It’s not just any bracelet – it’s the kind of bracelet only royals can have. And if that isn’t the most astounding part of it yet, etched in the gold pendant is the emblem of the south.

Besides you, there could only be one other person who’d be wearing the same. If he’s still alive that is.

The man’s wife places a comforting hand on her husband’s shoulder, massaging them gently to ease the tension on his muscles. She’s never seen him his distraught since…since they left their previous home. Eunkyung is unsure how to give her husband the least solace, not when the circumstances only allow them to hope for the best.

For a moment, they stay like that, quiet and observant. In fact, they had been for almost a full moon, just watching the man they had taken into their home. The man had been looking for firewood that early morning, and he’d found this severely wounded man barely alive in the woods.

He’d carried the man on his back and hurried back home, his initial quest and the pains that came with old age completely forgotten. He had closed off one of his rooms reserved for his patients to tend to this not-so-stranger and had let his wife tend to his other patients while he carefully worked this man back to life for weeks.

“Do you think he will still wake?”

The man is unable to answer promptly as he tenderly takes the sick man’s hand in his and says a short prayer to his ancestors, as well as incorporating a lesson he’d learned back when he was still an apprentice – that human touch was an integral part of the art of medicinal healing.

The physician faces his wife and pulls her closer, likewise placing her hand on top of his and letting her join in his silent prayer. His thumb runs over the ring on the man’s finger, remembering a similar one of his own possession quite a few years back.

“He will. That is what I believe and that is what we are also praying for,” the man replies, checking the temperature of the cloth he’d laid on his patient’s forehead. It’s warm when he takes it, and he makes a mental note to cite this observation in his notes.

“Daesin,” Eunkyung calls, touching her husband’s now bare wrists, “your bracelet…where is it?”

The man sighs heavily, deflated as he rests his weight on his calves. “I…I don’t know, really. I must have lost it when I carried him home.”

It was the only thing reminding him of his past, of you, especially. Now it’s gone – but it really doesn’t matter anymore, not when something, or someone else rather had come into his life so easily. His patient was far more important than any bracelet that proved his previous rule over the southern city.

“I really hope he will get better soon.”

“He has to,” Daesin reiterates, hoping they’d eventually come true, “He has to get better because he’s my son-in-law.”

[taglist] : Send in an ask if you want to be added!! 

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Tell me what you think? x

© joontier 2020

[bro-strider-hate-blog]

YOUR TAGS ON MY SIS POST??? IMMACULATE

I will include my tags again but only because i cant get enough of myself and not to sound like im tooting my own kazoo but this is the one time in my entire life that ive been objectively correct in every way

Lengthy and unrelated thing under the cut: 

Let me talk about canon bro for a second 😌 even though its barely and tangentially related to this and you dont have to read it <3, in fact i would encourage you not to read it i just wanna run my mouth. People love to use him as a cheap villain in their dave angst fics which is like... hilarious to me. Like i get it, since hes abusive he must also be misogynistic and homophobic and transphobic and also genuinely hates dave and revels in his suffering right? Lmeow no, hes just some guy and despite everything he is in fact trying his best. Hes naturally intense and aggressive and this doesnt translate well to child rearing, especially since his one goal is to make dave strong enough (physically and mentally) to Survive whats coming. The random sneak attacks ? The traps littered around the house ? To keep dave on his toes and buff his spatial awareness. The cameras ? To monitor his progress (if hes not up to standard then we’ll just up the “training”) and / or film some puppet snuff (puff ? Snupp?) so he can keep running his dumb website and like provide for them or some shit , or ig to buy random crap and throw it around the house. Who cares if the kid sees the porn anyway its just puppets, plus hes seen way worse at that age and turned out fine (no he didnt). Dave has to be resourceful , he has to be creative and think on his feet , lets have impromptu rap battles and scrabble games. He has to know numbers like the back of his hand (idk why this is even a phrase do any of you memorise what the back of your hands looks like) to effectively utilise his sylladex.... actually nobody even uses that shit idk why bro was so insistent on it. Dave is his protege, his charge, dave is NOT his friend and hes not gonna let him forget that. He teaches him all he knows, in the way he knows. Making comics, mixing music, ironic jokes, being cool and getting shit done. Actually its GOOD that the kid is terrified of him, if hes the scariest thing in the room then dave wont fear anything else. Lets spar then, if dave wins then hes trained him well. If dave loses then hell become resilient. Either way he has to be strong or else hell die, training is necessary. Its either this or failure and failure equals death. Do your own laundry, ration your own food, become independent as fast as possible because i wont be around to take care of you forever

Nothing bro does is without reason, neither is it “sadism”, its all very logical to him despite being horrific to any sane person because his only friend is the mansplain-manipulate-manspread puppet that raised him and he has awful coping mechanisms that barely stretch past beating himself 1. up 2. off. Like he kept his baby alive to the point where it could keep itself alive (kind of alive) and thats a win to him.

That was my thesis on why bro is not a bigot like ,, he makes porn of fucking smuppets, that gives him zero chance to fetishize The Ladies. I doubt he has porno mags littered around the house its just endless plushie dicks and asses (and the two puppets handcuffed together were legit kinda funny like Why). So why would dave have internalised homophobia if it did not stem from his brother ??? Acting as if his only friends werent exuding anti gay vibes, like christ, john “im not a homosexual” egbert, him and rose’s competitive flirting gag (before they found out they were related >.>), just generally the three of them accusing each other of being gay, yknow, as kids do (jade is exempt from the argument we love jade here). Things were just more homophobic back then and its not like bro and dave had a sincere talk about gender and sexuality in the 13 or so years they lived in the same house like why would you even come out to your younger sibling if you could just not !!! Lol !!! I could be getting all this info wrong lol so correct me if im wrong but bro has this cute comic artstyle and it was about someones charge (? Sibling?) straight up dying and the saw guy makes an appearance the end , like there was no sex or gore or whatever but if you look at sbahj the second page literally has an incest sex joke like where does dave even get his material from , which online sites has he been trawling , well haha its not bros job to monitor his kids search history lets ignore it and move on if the kid wants to be gross and make dumb jokes who is he to judge , spread your problematic wings and soar into the cancel clouds little guy

Anyway heres a disclaimer: if youre gonna clown on this post and tell me im an abuse apologist or some shit just understand that i have a lot of free time and love being a huge asshole when provoked but like youre so welcome to add to the discussion i love bullying my favourite character bro strider by steamrolling him we’ve talked about trans rights for too long now is the time for trans wrongs

[letterboxd]

Careful How You Go.

Ella Kemp explores how film lovers can protect themselves from distressing subject matter while celebrating cinema at its most audacious.

Featuring Empire magazine editor Terri White, Test Pattern filmmaker Shatara Michelle Ford, writer and critic Jourdain Searles, publicist Courtney Mayhew, and curator, activist and producer Mia Bays of the Birds’ Eye View collective.

This story contains discussion of rape, sexual assault, abuse, self-harm, trauma and loss of life, as well as spoilers for ‘Promising Young Woman’ and ‘A Star is Born���.

We film lovers are blessed with a medium capable of excavating real-life emotion from something seemingly fictional. Yet, for all that film is—in the oft-quoted words of Roger Ebert—an “empathy machine”, it’s also capable of deeply hurting its audience when not wielded by its makers and promoters with appropriate care. Or, for that matter, when not approached by viewers with informed caution.

Whose job is it to let us know that we might be upset by what we see? With the coronavirus pandemic decimating the communal movie-going experience, the way we accommodate each viewer’s sensibilities is more crucial than ever—especially when so many of us are watching alone, at home, often unsupported.

In order to understand how we can champion a film’s content and take care of its audience, I approached women in several areas of the movie ecosystem. I wanted to know: how does a filmmaker approach the filming of a rape and its aftermath? How does a magazine editor navigate the celebration of a potentially triggering movie in one of the world’s biggest film publications? How does a freelance writer speak to her professional interests while preserving her personal integrity? How does a women’s film collective create a safe environment for an audience to process such a film? And, how does a publicist prepare journalists for careful reporting, when their job is to get eyeballs on screens in order to keep our favorite art form afloat?

The conversations reminded me that the answers are endlessly complex. The concerns over spoilers, the effectiveness of trigger warnings, the myriad ways in which art is crafted from trauma, and the fundamental question of whose stories these are to tell. These questions were valid decades ago, they will be for decades to come, and they feel especially urgent now, since a number of recent tales helmed by female and non-binary filmmakers depict violence and trauma involving women’s bodies in fearless, often challenging ways.

Emerald Fennell’s Promising Young Woman, in particular, has revived a vital conversation about content consideration, as victims and survivors of sexual assault record wildly different reactions to its astounding ending. Shatara Michelle Ford’s quietly tense debut, Test Pattern, brings Black survivors into the conversation. And the visceral, anti-wish-fulfillment horror Violation, coming soon from Dusty Mancinelli and Madeleine Sims-Fewer, takes the rape-revenge genre up another notch.

These films come off the back of other recent survivor stories, such as Michaela Coel’s groundbreaking series I May Destroy You (which centers women’s friendship in a narrative move that, as Sarah Williams has eloquently outlined, happens too rarely in this field). Also: Kata Wéber and Kornél Mundruczó’s Pieces of a Woman, and the ongoing ugh-ness of The Handmaid’s Tale. And though this article is focused on plots centering women’s trauma, I acknowledge the myriad of stories that can be triggering in many ways for all manner of viewers. So whether you’ve watched one of these titles, or others like them, I hope you felt supported in the conversations to follow, and that you feel seen.

Weruche Opia and Michaela Coel in ‘I May Destroy You’.

* * *

Simply put, Promising Young Woman is a movie about a woman seeking revenge against predatory men. Except nothing about it is simple. Revenge movies have existed for aeons, and we’ve rooted for many promising young (mostly white) women before Carey Mulligan’s Cassie (recently: Jen in Coralie Fargeat’s Revenge, Noelle in Natalia Leite’s M.F.A.). But in Promising Young Woman, the victim is not alive to seek revenge, so it becomes Cassie’s single-minded crusade. Mercifully, we never see the gang-rape that sparks Cassie’s mission. But we do see a daring, fatal subversion of the notion of a happy ending—and this is what has audiences of Emerald Fennell’s jaw-dropping debut divided.

“For me, being a survivor, the point is to survive,” Jourdain Searles tells me. The New York-based critic, screenwriter, comedian—and host of Netflix’s new Black Film School series—says the presence of death in Promising Young Woman is the problem. “One of the first times I spoke openly about [my assault], I made the decision that I didn’t want to go to the police, and I got a lot of judgment for that,” she says. “So watching Promising Young Woman and seeing the police as the endgame is something I’ve always disagreed with. I left thinking, ‘How is this going to help?’”

“I feel like I’ve got two hats on,” says Terri White, the London-based editor-in chief of Empire magazine, and the author of a recently published memoir, Coming Undone. “One of which is me creating a magazine for a specific film-loving audience, and the other bit of me, which has written a book about trauma, specifically about violence perpetrated against the body. They’re not entirely siloed, but they are two distinct perspectives.”

White loved both Promising Young Woman and I May Destroy You, because they “explode the myth of resolution and redemption”. She calls the ending of Promising Young Woman “radical” in the way it speaks to the reality of what happens to so many women. “I was thinking about me and women like me, women who have endured violence and injury or trauma. Three women every week are still killed [in the UK] at the hands of an ex-partner, or somebody they know intimately, or a current partner. Statistically, any woman who goes for some kind of physical confrontation in [the way Cassie does] would end up dying.”

She adds: “I felt like the film was in service to both victims and survivors, and I use the word ‘victims’ deliberately. I call myself a victim because I think if you’ve endured either sexual violence or physical violence or both, a lot of empowering language, as far as I’m concerned, doesn’t reflect the reality of being a victim or a survivor, whichever way you choose to call yourself.” This point has been one many have disagreed on. In a way, that makes sense—no victim or survivor can be expected to speak to anyone else’s experience but their own.

Carey Mulligan and Emerald Fennell on the set of ‘Promising Young Woman’.

Likewise, there is no right or wrong way to feel about this film, or any film. But a question that arises is, well, should everyone have to see a film to figure that out? And should victims and survivors of sexual violence watch this film? “I have definitely been picky about who I’ve recommended it to,” Courtney Mayhew says. “I don’t want to put a friend in harm’s way, even if that means they miss out on something awesome. It’s not worth it.”

Mayhew is a New Zealand-based international film publicist, and because of her country’s success in controlling Covid 19, she is one of the rare people able to experience Promising Young Woman in a sold-out cinema. “It was palpable. Everyone was so engaged and almost leaning forwards. There were a lot of laughs from women, but it was also a really challenging setting. A lot of people looking down, looking away, and there was a girl who was crying uncontrollably at the end.”

“Material can be very triggering,” White agrees. “It depends where people are personally in their journey. When I still had a lot of trauma I hadn’t worked through in my 20s, I found certain things very difficult to watch. Those things are a reality—but people can make their own decisions about the material they feel able to watch.”

It’s about warning, and preparation, more than total deprivation, then? “I believe in giving people information so they can make the best choice for themselves,” White says. “But I find it quite reductive, and infantilizing in some respects, to be told broadly, ‘Women who have experienced x shouldn’t watch this.’ That underestimates the resilience of some people, the thirst for more information and knowledge.” (This point is clearly made in this meticulous, awe-inspiring list by Jenn, who is on a journey to make sense of her trauma through analysis of rape-revenge films.) But clarity is crucial, particularly for those grappling with unresolved issues.

Searles agrees Promising Young Woman can be a difficult, even unpleasant watch, but still one with value. “As a survivor it did not make me feel good, but it gave me a window into the way other people might respond to your assault. A lot of the time [my friends] have reacted in ways I don’t understand, and the movie feels like it’s trying to make sense of an assault from the outside, and the complicated feelings a friend might have.”

Molly Parker and Vanessa Kirby in ‘Pieces of a Woman’.

* * *

A newborn dies. A character is brutally violated. A population is tortured. To be human is to bear witness to history, but it’s still painful when that history is yours, or something very close to it. “Some things are hard to watch because you relate to them,” Searles explains. “I find mother! hard to watch, and there’s no actual sexual assault. But I just think of sexual assault and trauma and domestic abuse, even though the film isn’t about that. The thing is, you could read an academic paper on patriarchy—you don’t need to watch it on a show [or in a film] if you don’t want to.”

White agrees: “I’ve never been able to watch Nil by Mouth, because I grew up in a house of domestic violence and I find physical violence against women on screen very hard to watch. But that doesn’t mean I think the film shouldn’t be shown—it should still exist, I’ve just made the choice not to watch it.” (Reader, since our conversation, she watched it. At 2:00am.)

“I know people who do not watch Promising Young Woman or The Handmaid’s Tale because they work for an NGO in which they see those things literally in front of their eyes,” Mayhew says. “It could be helpful for someone who isn’t aware [of those issues], but then what is the purpose of art? To educate? To entertain? For escapism? It’s probably all of those.”

Importantly, how much weight should an artist’s shoulders carry, when it comes to considering the audiences that will see their work? There’s a general agreement among my interviewees that, as White says, “filmmakers have to make the art that they believe in”. I don’t think any film lover would disagree, but, suggests Searles, “these films should be made with survivors in mind. That doesn’t mean they always have to be sensitive and sad and declawed. But there is a way to be provocative, while leaning into an emotional truth.”

Madeleine Sims-Fewer in ‘Violation’.

Violation, about which I’ll say little here since it is yet to screen at SXSW (ahead of its March 25 release on Shudder) is not at all declawed, and is certainly made with survivors in mind—in the sense that in life, unlike in movies, catharsis is very seldom possible no matter how far you go to find it. On Letterboxd, many of those who saw Violation at TIFF and Sundance speak of feeling represented by the rape-revenge plot, writing: “One of the most intentionally thought out and respectful of the genre… made by survivors for survivors” and “I feel seen and held”. (Also: “This movie is extremely hard to watch, completely on purpose.”)

“Art can do great service to people,” agrees White, “If, by consequence, there is great service for people who have been in that position, that’s a brilliant consequence. But I don’t believe filmmakers and artists should be told that they are responsible for certain things. There’s a line of responsibility in terms of being irresponsible, especially if your community is young, or traumatised.”

Her words call to mind Bradley Cooper’s reboot of A Star is Born, which many cinephiles knew to be a remake and therefore expected its plot twist, but young filmgoers, drawn by the presence of Lady Gaga, were shocked (and in some cases triggered) by a suicide scene. When it was released, Letterboxd saw many anguished reviews from younger members. In New Zealand, an explicit warning was added to the film’s classification by the country’s chief censor (who also created an entirely new ‘RP18’ classification for the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, which eventually had a graphic suicide scene edited out two years after first landing on the streaming service).

“There is a duty of care to audiences, and there is also a duty of care to artists and filmmakers,” says Mayhew. “There’s got to be some way of meeting in the middle.” The middle, perhaps, can be identified by the filmmaker’s objective. “It’s about feeling safe in the material,” says Mia Bays of the Birds’ Eye View film collective, which curates and markets films by women in order to effect industry change. “With material like this, it’s beholden on creatives to interrogate their own intentions.”

Filmmaker Shatara Michelle Ford is “forever interrogating” ideas of power. Their debut feature, Test Pattern, deftly examines the power differentials that inform the foundations of consent. “As an artist, human, and person who has experienced all sorts of boundary violation, assault and exploitation in their life, I spend quite a lot of time thinking about power… It is something I grapple with in my personal life, and when I arrive in any workplace, including a film set.”

In her review of Test Pattern for The Hollywood Reporter, Searles writes, “This is not a movie about sexual assault as an abstract concept; it’s a movie about the reality of a sexual assault survivor’s experience.” Crucially, in a history of films that deal largely with white women’s experiences, Test Pattern “is one of the few sexual-assault stories to center a Black woman, with her Blackness being central to her experience and the way she is treated by the people around her.”

Brittany S. Hall in ‘Test Pattern’.

* * *

Test Pattern follows the unfolding power imbalance between Renesha (Brittany S. Hall) and her devoted white boyfriend Evan (Will Brill), as he drives her from hospital to hospital in search of a rape kit, after her drink was spiked by a white man in a bar who then raped her. Where Promising Young Woman is a millennial-pink revenge fantasy of Insta-worthy proportions, Test Pattern feels all too real, and the cops don’t come off as well as they do in the former.

Ford does something very important for the audience: they begin the film just as the rape is about to occur. We do not see it at this point (we do not really ever see it), but we know that it happened, so there’s no chance that, somewhere deeper into the story, when we’re much more invested, we’ll be side-swiped by a sudden onslaught of sexual violence. In a way, it creates a safe space for our journey with Renesha.

It’s one of many thoughtful decisions made by Ford throughout the production process. “I’m in direct conversation with film and television that chooses to depict violence against women so casually,” Ford tells me. “I intentionally showed as little of Renesha’s rape as humanly possible. I also had an incredibly hard time being physically present for that scene, I should add. What I did shoot was ultimately guided by Renesha’s experience of it. Shoot only what she would remember. Show only what she would have been aware of.

“But I also made it clear that this was a violation of her autonomy, by allowing moments where we have an arm’s length point of view. I let the camera sit with the audience, as I’m also saying, as the filmmaker, this happened, and you saw enough of it to know. This, for me, is a larger commentary on how we treat victims of assault and rape. I do not believe for one goddamn minute that we need to see the actual, literal violence to know what happened. When we flagrantly replicate the violence in film and television, we are supporting the cultural norm of needing ‘all of the evidence’—whatever that means—to ‘believe women’.”

Ford’s intentional work in crafting the romance and unraveling of Test Pattern’s leading couple pays off on screen, but their stamp as an invested and careful director also shows in their work with Drew Fuller, the actor who played Mike, the rapist. “It’s a very difficult role, and I’m grateful to him for taking it so seriously. When discussing and rendering the practice and non-practice of consent intentionally, I found it helpful to give it a clear definition and provide conceptual insight.

“I sent Drew a few articles that I used as tools to create a baseline understanding when it comes to exploring consent and power on screen. At the top of that list was Lili Loofbourow’s piece, The female price of male pleasure and Zhana Vrangalova's Teen Vogue piece, Everything You Need to Know about Consent that You Never Learned in Sex Ed. The latter in my opinion is the linchpin. There’s also Jude Elison Sady Doyle’s piece about the whole Aziz Ansari thing, which is a great primer.”

Sidney Flanigan in ‘Never Rarely Sometimes Always’.

Even when a filmmaker has given Ford’s level of care and attention to their project, what happens when the business end of the industry gets involved in the art? As we well know, marketing is a film’s window dressing. It has one job: to get eyeballs into the cinema. It can’t know if every viewer should feel safe to enter.

It would be useful, with certain material, to know how we should watch, and with whom, and what might we need in the way of support coming out. Whose job is it to provide this? Beyond the crude tool of an MPAA rating (and that’s a whole sorry tale for another day), there are many creative precautions that can be taken across the industry to safeguard a filmgoer’s experience.

Mayhew, who often sees films at the earliest stages (sometimes before a final cut, sometimes immediately after), speaks to journalists in early screenings and ensures they have the tools to safely report on the topics raised. In New Zealand, reporters are encouraged to read through resources to help them guide their work. Mayhew’s teams would also ensure journalists would be given relevant hotline numbers, and would ask media outlets to include them in published stories.

“It’s not saying, ‘You have to do this’,” she explains, “It’s about first of all not knowing what the journalist has been through themselves, and second of all, [if] they are entertainment reporters who haven’t navigated speaking about sexual assault, you only hope it will be helpful going forward. It’s certainly not done to infantilize them, because they’re smart people. It’s a way to show some care and support.”

The idea of having appropriate resources to make people feel safe and encourage them to make their own decisions is a priority for Bays and Birds’ Eye View, as well. The London-based creative producer and cultural activist stresses the importance of sharing such a viewing experience. “It’s the job of cinemas, distributors and festivals to realize that it might not be something the filmmaker does, but as the people in control of the environment it’s our job to give extra resources to those who want it,” says Bays. “To give people a safe space to come down from the experience.”

Pre-pandemic, when Birds’ Eye View screened Kitty Green’s The Assistant, a sharp condemnation of workplace micro-aggressions seen through the eyes of one female assistant, they invited women who had worked for Harvey Weinstein. For a discussion after Eliza Hittman’s coming-of-ager Never Rarely Sometimes Always, abortion experts were able to share their knowledge. “It’s about making sure the audience knows you can say anything here, but that it’s safe,” Bays explains. “It’s kind of like group therapy—you don’t know people, so you’re not beholden to what they think about you. And in the cinema people aren’t looking at you. You’re speaking somewhat anonymously, so a lot of really important stuff can come out.”

The traditional movie-going experience, involving friends, crowds and cathartic, let-loose feelings, is still largely inaccessible at the time of writing. Over the past twelve months we’ve talked plenty about preserving the magic of the big screen experience, but it’s about so much more than the romanticism of an art form; it’s also about the safety that comes from a feeling of community when watching potentially upsetting movies.

“The going in and coming out parts of watching a film in the cinema are massively important, because it’s like coming out of the airlock and coming back to reality,” says Bays. “You can’t do that at home. Difficult material kind of stays with you.” During the pandemic, Birds’ Eye View has continued to provide the same wrap-around curatorial support for at-home viewers as they would at an in-person event. “If we’re picking a difficult film and asking people to watch it at home, we might suggest you watch it with a friend so you can speak about it afterwards,” Bays says.

Julia Garner in ‘The Assistant’.

But, then, how can we still find this sense of community without the physical closeness? “It’s no good waiting for [the internet] to become kind,” she says. “Create your own closed spaces. We do workshops and conversations exclusively for people who sign up to our newsletter. In real-life meetings you can go from hating something to hearing an eloquent presentation of another perspective and coming round to it, but you need the time and space to do that. This little amount of time gives you a move towards healing, even if it’s just licking some wounds that were opened on Twitter. But it could be much deeper, like being a survivor and feeling very conflicted about the film, which I do.”

Conflict is something that Searles, the film critic, knows about all too well in her work. “Since I started writing professionally, I almost feel like I’m known for writing about assault and rape at this point. I do write about it a lot, and as a survivor I continue to process it. I’ve been assaulted more than once so I have a lot to process, and so each time I’m writing about it I’m thinking about different aspects and remnants of those feelings. It can be very cathartic, but it’s a double-edged sword because sometimes I feel like I have an obligation to write about it too.”

There is also a constant act of self-preservation that comes with putting so much of yourself on the internet. “I often get messages from people thanking me for talking about these subjects with a deep understanding of what they mean,” Searles says. “I really appreciate that. I get negative messages about a lot of things, but not this one thing.”

Michaela Coel in ‘I May Destroy You’.

* * *

With such thoughtful approaches to heavy content, it feels like we’re a long way further down the road from blunt tools like content and trigger warnings. But do they still have their place? “It’s just never seemed appropriate to put trigger warnings on any of our reviews or features,” White explains. “We have a heavy male readership, still 70 percent male to 30 percent female. I’m conscious we’re talking to a lot of men who will often have experienced violence themselves, but we don’t put any warnings, because we are an adult magazine, and when we talk about violence in, say, an action film, or violence that is very heavily between men, we don’t caveat that at all.”

Bays, too, is sceptical of trigger warnings, explaining that “there’s not much evidence [they] actually work. A lot of psychologists expound on the fact that if people get stuck in their trauma, you can never really recover from PTSD if you don’t at some point face your trauma.” She adds: “I’m a survivor, and I found I May Destroy You deeply, profoundly triggering, but also cathartic. I think it’s more about how you talk about the work, rather than having a ‘NB: survivors of sexual abuse or assault shouldn’t see this’.”

“It’s important to give people a feel of what they’re in for,” argues Searles. “A lot of people who have dealt with suicide ideation would prefer that warning.” While some worry that a content warning is effectively a plot spoiler, Searles disagrees. “I don’t consider a content warning a spoiler. I just couldn’t imagine sitting down for a film, knowing there’s going to be a suicide, and letting it distract me from the film.” Still, she acknowledges the nuance. “I think using ‘self-harm’ might be better than just saying ‘suicide’.”

Mayhew shared insights on who actually decides which films on which platforms are preceded with warnings—turns out, it’s a bit messy. “The onus traditionally has fallen on governmental censorship when it comes to theatrical releases,” she explains. “But streamers can do what they want, they are not bound by those rules so they have to—as the distributors and broadcasters—take the government’s censors on board in terms of how they are going to navigate it.

“The consumer doesn’t know the difference,” she continues, “nor should they—so it means they can be watching The Crown on Netflix and get this trigger warning about bulimia, and go to the cinema the next day and not get it, and feel angry about it. So there’s the question of where is the responsibility of the distributor, and where is the responsibility of the audience member to actually find out for themselves.”

The warnings given to an audience member can also vary widely depending where they find themselves in the world, too. Promising Young Woman, for example, is rated M in Australia, R18 in New Zealand, and R in the United States. Meanwhile, the invaluable Common Sense Media recommends an age of fifteen years and upwards for the “dark, powerful, mature revenge comedy”. Mayhew says a publicist’s job is “to have your finger on the pulse” about these cultural differences. “You have to read the overall room, and when I say room I mean the culture as a whole, and you have to be constantly abreast of things across those different ages too.”

She adds: “This feeds into the importance of representation right at the top of those boardrooms and right down to the film sets. My job is to see all opinions, and I never will, especially because I am a white woman. I consider myself part of the LGBT community and sometimes I’ll bring that to a room that I think has been lacking in that area, when it comes to harmful stereotypes that can be propagated within films about LGBT people. But I can’t bring a Black person’s perspective, I cannot bring an Indigenous perspective. The more representation you have, the better your film is going to be, your campaign is going to be.”

Bays, who is also a filmmaker, agrees: representation is about information, and working with enough knowledge to make sure your film is being as faithful to your chosen communities as possible. “As a filmmaker, I’d feel ill-informed and misplaced if I was stumbling into an area of representation that I knew nothing about without finding some tools and collaborators who could bring deeper insight.”

Carey Mulligan and Bo Burnham in ‘Promising Young Woman’.

This is something Ford aimed for with Test Pattern’s choice of crew members, which had an effect not just on the end product, but on the entire production process. “I made sure that at the department head level, I was hiring people I was in community with and fully saw me as a person, and me them,” they say. “In some ways it made the experience more pleasurable.” That said, the shoot was still not without its incidents: “These were the types of things that in my experience often occur on a film set dominated by straight white men, that we're so accustomed to we sometimes don’t even notice it. I won’t go into it but what I will say is that it was not tolerated.”

Vital to the telling of the story were the lived experiences that Ford and their crew brought to set. “As it applies to the sensitive nature of this story, there were quite a few of us who have had our own experiences along the spectrum of assault, which means that we had to navigate our own internal re-processing of those experiences, which is hard to do when we’re constructing an experience of rape for a character.

“However, I think being able to share our own triggers and discomfort and context, when it came to Renesha’s experience, made the execution of it all the better. Again, it was a pleasure to be in community with such smart, talented and considerate women who each brought their own nuance to this film.”

* * *

Thinking about everything we’ve lived through by this point in 2021, and the heightened sensitivity and lowered mental health of film lovers worldwide, movies are carrying a pretty heavy burden right now: to, as Jane Fonda said at the Golden Globes, help us see through others’ eyes; also, to entertain or, at the very least, not upset us too much.

But to whom does film have a responsibility, really? Promising Young Woman’s writer-director Emerald Fennell, in an excellent interview with Vulture’s Angelica Jade Bastién, said that she was thinking of audiences when she crafted the upsetting conclusion.

What she was thinking was: a ‘happy’ ending for Cassie gets us no further forward as a society. Instead, Cassie’s shocking end “makes you feel a certain way, and it makes you want to talk about it. It makes you want to examine the film and the society that we live in. With a cathartic Hollywood ending, that’s not so much of a conversation, really. It’s a kind of empty catharsis.”

So let’s flip the question: what is our responsibility, as women and allies, towards celebrating audacious films about tricky subjects? The marvellous, avenging blockbusters that once sucked all the air out of film conversation are on pause, for now. Consider the space that this opens up for a different kind of approach to “must-see movies”. Spread the word about Test Pattern. Shout from the rooftops about It’s A Sin. Add Body of Water and Herself and Violation to your watchlists. And, make sure the right people are watching.

Brittany S. Hall and Will Brill in ‘Test Pattern’.

I asked my interviewees: if they could choose one type of person they think should see Promising Young Woman, who would it be? Ford has not seen Fennell’s film, but “it feels good to have my film contribute to a larger discourse that is ever shifting, ever adding nuance”. They are very clear on who can learn the most from their own movie.

“A white man is featured so prominently in Test Pattern as a statement about how white people and men have a habit of centering themselves in the stories of others, prioritizing their experience and neglecting to recognize those on the margins. If Evan is triggering, he should be. If your feelings about Evan vacillate, it is by design.

“‘Allies’ across the spectrum are in a complicated dance around doing the ‘right thing’ and ‘showing up’ for those they are ostensibly seeking to support,” Ford continues. “Their constant battle is to remember that they need to be centering the needs of those they were never conditioned to center. Tricky stuff. Mistakes will be made. Mistakes must be owned. Sometimes reconciliation is required.”

It is telling that similar thoughts emerged from my other interviewees regarding Promising Young Woman’s ideal audience, despite the fact that none of them was in conversation with the others for this story. For that reason, as we come to the end of this small contribution to a very large, ongoing conversation, I’ve left their words intact.

White: I think it’s a great film for men.

Searles: I feel like the movie is very much pointed at cisgender heterosexual men.

Mayhew: Men.

White: We’re always warned about the alpha male with a massive ego, but we’re not warned about the beta male who reads great books, listens to great records, has great film recommendations. But he probably slyly undermines you in a completely different way. Anybody can be a predator.

Searles: The actors chosen to play these misogynist, rape culture-perpetuating men are actors we think of as nice guys.

White: We are so much more tolerant of a man knocking the woman over the head, dragging her down an alley and raping her, because we understand that. But rape culture is made up of millions of small things that enable the people who do it. We are more likely to be attacked in our own homes by men we love than a stranger in the street.

Mayhew: The onus should not fall on women to call this out.

Searles: It’s not just creeps, like the ones you see usually in these movies. It’s guys like you. What are you going to do to make sure you’re not like this?

Related content

Sex Monsters, Rape Revenge and Trauma: a work-in-progress list

Rape and Revenge: a list of films that fall into, and play with, the genre

Unconsenting Media: a search engine for sexual violence in broadcasting

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

If you need help or to talk to someone about concerns raised for you in this story, please first know that you are not alone. These are just a few of the many organizations and resources available, and their websites include more information.

US: RAINN (hotline 0800 656 HOPE); LGBT National Help Center; Pathways to Safety; Time’s Up.

Canada: Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centers—contacts by province and territory

UK/Ireland: Mind; The Survivors Trust (hotline 08088 010818); Rape Crisis England and Wales

Europe: Rape Crisis Network Europe

[rebelcourtesan]

My D&D 5e Build for Hordak

@firapolemos05​  requested Hordak, I did some digging and thinking and came up with a build for this character.  My judgement is based on what we’ve seen in the show and what I think suits his character best.  Feel free to agree or disagree with this build or come up with one of your own.  

Hordak, a member of a clone army that was rejected by his creator for having a defect in his cloning.  He was sent on a suicide mission only to find himself taken through a portal and crash landing on Etheria.  With the remains of a broken ship, he launched an Empire, taking over lands and territory and building his own army in the hopes of proving himself to Horde Prime.  He serves as the main antagonist for most of the series before Horde Prime takes his place.  

Long Post Below

***Stats***

Intelligence:  Top stat.  Hordak has a technological mind.  He’s built machines, weapons, and portals and is one of the most intelligence characters in the series.

Strength:  Second Highest.  Reason being that we’ve seen him life heavy machinery in building the portal and throwing a slab of metal across the room.  And he managed to push a huge beam off himself when it fell on him.  

Constitution: Third Highest. I had thought of putting this lower on the list due to his chronic illness, but he did survive was having a crane fall on him and is managing to fight despite the illness.  

Dexterity: Fourth Highest. Hordak can be quick when the needs aride.

Wisdom:   Fifth Place.  Hordak needed Double Trouble’s help to see through Catra’s lies about what happened to Entrapta.  

Charisma: Dump state.  Get. out!  Hordak isn’t the most charming character in the series.      

***Race***

I considered going with Variant Human again, but I just discovered the Gith- Githyanki race which I believe would suit Hordak better.  

He automatically gets +1 to Intelligence and +2 to Strength.    

Choose Arcana to be Proficiency skill.  Hey, he must have taken time to study Etheria’s magic at one point and he has Entrapta helping him out.

Also, Hordak starts off knowing the Mage Hand cantrip.   

Choose the Soldier background:  This nets Hordak a Proficiency in Athletics and Intimidation.  

Okay, after some thought and consideration, I’ve decided to start Hordak off as a Barbarian.

The reason for this when Hordak get’s angry, he can become quite dangerous and resilient to damage.

***Barbarian Level 1***

Hordak gets the Rage ability: 

- advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws. - A melee weapon attack using Strength, gains a bonus to the damage roll  - resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing damage.

Unarmored Defense -  armor class equals 10 + Dexterity + Constitution.  His suit is more of an exo-skeleton for his health condition.  And his dress is a bit revealing.

 For Skills choose Perception and Survival.  The first few years after crashing on Etheria must have been rough at the start.

***Barbarian Level 2***

Hordak receives Danger Sense : Has advantage on Dex saves against effects he can see such as traps and spells.  He’s been fighting magical princesses for years, however he can’t use this ability if he is blinded, incapacitated, or deafened.

Reckless Attack: For the first attack on his turn, he can choose to attack with advantage with melee weapons using Strength, but attack rolls against him will be at an advantage until his next turn.

***Barbarian Level 3***

Barbarians can choose a Primal Path.  For Hordak, reveres Horde Prime and conquers Etheria in his name, the Primal Path for him would be Path of the Zealot.  

Divine Fury: when Raging the first creature Hordak hits on each of his turns with a weapon takes extra damage equal to 1d6 + half Barbarian level.  Choose Necrotic damage he is fighting in the name of an evil cult leader.    

Warrior of the Gods: Hordak is easier to raise from the dead.  If any spell cast to restore life to Hordak doesn’t need any components.  That’s the advantage of a having a devoted hi-tech wife.

***Barbarian Level 4*** 

Ability Score Improvement: Put the points into Intelligence to max it out.  I know Strength is important for a Barbarian class, but there is a method to my madness. 

***Barbarian Level 5***

Extra Attack: Hordak can make two attacks when he takes the attack action.

Fast Movement:  His speed increases by +10 feet when he isn’t wearing heavy armor.

***Barbarian Level 6***

Path of the Zealots gives Hordak Fanatical Focus which allows to reroll a failed saving throw while Raging, but must take the new roll.  Ability can only be used once per Rage.

Now you’ll see the method in my madness with a high intelligence score.

We’re going into Artificier, a class the melds magic and technology, which he learned from Entrapta and from studying Etherian magic and First Ones Tech.

***Artificer Level 1***

Talk to your DM about the Optional Firearm Proficiency.  If they agree, then Hordak has a proficiency in firearms, such as laser cannons! 

Being an Artificer gives Hordak Magical Tinkering: Hordak’s Tinker Tools come into play which allows him to create a spark of magic in a Tiny nonmagical object with a magic effect such as giving off light, playing a recorded message (Like the Imp), etc.

Hordak is able to use his Intelligence to create magical effects in objects through spellcasting, but use his tools to do so.  So choose plenty of offensive spells for Hordak to use against Princesses.  I would recommend for cantrips:

Acid Splash:  You hurl a bubble of acid. Choose one creature within range, or choose two creatures within range that are within 5 feet of each other. A target must succeed on a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d6 acid damage.  

Fire Bolt:  You hurl a mote of fire at a creature or object within range. Make a ranged spell attack against the target. On a hit, the target takes 1d10 fire damage. A flammable object hit by this spell ignites if it isn’t being worn or carried.  

For 1st level spells:

Absorb Elements: The spell captures some of the incoming energy, lessening its effect on you and storing it for your next melee attack. You have resistance to the triggering damage type until the start of your next turn. Also, the first time you hit with a melee attack on your next turn, the target takes an extra 1d6 damage of the triggering type, and the spell ends. (Good for when he goes into melee against elemental Princesses).

***Artificer Level 2***

Infuse Item:  Hordak can Imbue mundane items with magical infusions.  At this level you can choose up to 4 infusions to know, but can replace one of them at each level. 

Choose:  

Enhanced Defense: Needs a suiit of armor or shield to grant  a +1 bonus to Armor Class while wearing (armor) or wielding (shield) the infused item. 

Enhanced Weapon: Needs a simple or martial weapon to grant  +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls made with it. 

Enhanced Arcane Focus: Needs rod, wand, or staff (requires attuning)  a creature gains +1 bonus to spell attack rolls. 

Replicate Magic Item :  Any item of your choice to replicate.

***Artificer Level 3***    

The Right Tool for the Job :  with tinker's tools in hand, Hordak can magically create one set of artisan's tools when needed.

Now Hordak can receive an Artificer Specialist.  Take Artillerist.

Tool Proficiency: Gain proficiency with Wood Carver tools, but to better fit Hordak’s character, I would go with Smith’s Tools if the DM allows it.

Hordak gains 2 additional spells.

Shield:  An invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you. Until the start of your next turn, you have a +5 bonus to AC    

Thunderwave:  A wave of thunderous force sweeps out from you. Each creature in a 15-foot cube originating from you must make a Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, a creature takes 2d8 thunder damage and is pushed 10 feet away from you. On a successful save, the creature takes half as much damage and isn’t pushed.

The golden part of this level is Eldritch Cannon.  Hordak can create small or tiny canons.  Think Horde Robots.  They can have one of three effects: Flame Thrower, Force Ballista, and Protector.  

***Artificer Level 4***

Ability Score Improvement: Max out Intelligence to attain more spells and make them more powerful.  If Intelligence is already maxed out, you can put them into Strength so Hordak can hit harder when in melee or you can round out the other ability scores. 

***Artificer Level 5***

Arcane Firearm:  Hordak can turn a rod, wand, or staff into an Arcane Firearm (such as an Arm Cannon) to case offensive spells.  Doing so gives a 1d8 bonus damage to spells.  If the spell hits multiple targets, choose one to take the bonus damage.  

Hordak can now use 2nd level Artificer spells.  I recommend:

Heat Metal :  Hordak can cause a metal object (armor for example) to glow red-hot. Any creature in physical contact with the object takes 2d8 fire damage when you cast the spell. Until the spell ends, you can use a bonus action on each of your subsequent turns to cause this damage again.

Also Artillerist gains two additional spells.

Scorching Ray:  You create three rays of fire and hurl them at targets within range. You can hurl them at one target or several. Make a ranged spell attack for each ray. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 fire damage. 

Shatter :  A sudden loud ringing noise, painfully intense, erupts from a point of your choice within range. Each creature in a 10-foot-radius sphere centered on that point must make a Constitution saving throw. A creature takes 3d8 thunder damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature made of inorganic material such as stone, crystal, or metal has disadvantage on this saving throw.   

***Artificer Level 6***

Tool Expertise: proficiency bonus is doubled for any ability check you make that uses your proficiency with a tool. 

Also, Hordak gains two additional Infusions.  

Pick Homunculus Servant so Hordak can create his own Imp, a tiny construct that obeys commands.        Repulsion Shield : grants a +1 bonus to AC when using this shield.  Also has 5 charges to push an attacker back 15 feet as a reaction to being hit by melee weapon.    

***Artificer Level 7***

Flash of Genius: As a reaction, Hordak can add his intelligence modifier to an ability check or saving throw of a ceature within 30 feet of him.  

***Artificer Level 8***

Ability Score Improvement: By now Intelligence should be maxed.  Put points into Strength if you are having Hordak wade into melee battle.  And/Or, you could get the War Caster feat which will make it easier for Hordak to cast and maintain spells in battle. 

***Artificer Level 9***

Explosive Cannon: Eldritch Cannons now cause more damage with additional 1d8 damage and Hordak can have them self-detonate for 3d8 force damage on a failed Dex save.  

Hordak can now use 3rd level spells. 

Dispel Magic:  Choose any creature, object, or magical effect within range. Any spell of 3rd level or lower on the target ends. For each spell of 4th level or higher on the target, make an ability check using your spellcasting ability. The DC equals 10 + the spell’s level. On a successful check, the spell ends. (Hordak must have been studying a means to remove magical effects, plus this spell is super useful).

Plus being an Artillerist grants two additional spells.

Fireball:  A bright streak flashes from your pointing finger to a point you choose within range then blossoms with a low roar into an explosion of flame. Each creature in a 20-foot radius must make a Dexterity saving throw. A target takes 8d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. The fire spreads around corners. It ignites flammable objects in the area that aren’t being worn or carried.

Wind Wall:  A wall of strong wind rises from the ground at a point you choose within range.  When the wall appears, each creature within its area must make a Strength saving throw. A creature takes 3d8 bludgeoning damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.   

***Artificer Level 10***  

With Entrapta’s help, Hordak can become a Magic Item Adept: he can attune up to four items at once instead of just two.  And it takes a quarter of the time to craft a common or uncommon magical item and doing so costs half the gold.   

And Hordak can learn two more Infusions.

Spell-Refueling Ring (Unearthed Arcana) - A ring that can recover expended spell slots. (Hordak can keep throwing spells back at Princesses)

Mind Sharpener (Unearthed Arcana) - Robes (or armor) that can allow the wearer to maintain a spell as a reaction if they failed a constitution check.      

***Artificer Level 11***  

Spell-Storing Item: Hordak can store a 1st or 2nd level spell inside an item for a creature to use

***Artificer Level 12*** Ability Score Improvement: Intelligence should be maxed.  Strength should be maxed.  Also round out any Ability Scores.  Or you can get the War Caster feat.

***Artificer Level 13***   4th level spells are now available.  I recommend:

Arcane Eye:  You create an invisible, magical eye within range that hovers in the air for the duration. You mentally receive visual information from the eye, which has normal vision and darkvision out to 30 feet. The eye can look in every direction. 

***Artificer Level 14***   With the help of his beloved Entratpa, Hordak becomes a Magic Item Savant.  He can attune up to five items with magic and he can ignore all class, race, spell and level requirements to use any magical items.         

And there you have it.  My version of Hordak in D&D 5e.  With the Barbarian levels he can deal decent melee damage and withstand receiving damage and gaining extra strength while Raging.  

As part of his background and his close relationship to Entrapta, he can infused magic into items and use offensive spells against the Princesses in his conquest of Etheria.   

[mst3kproject]

I Was a Teenage Frankenstein

Have I somehow not already reviewed this? Shit, I better get on that.  If the title alone weren’t enough, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein has Gary Conway from The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent, Phyllis Coates from Invasion USA, and sure enough, Whit Bissell from I Was a Teenage Werewolf playing more or less the same mad scientist character. Though sadly, there was no part for Pepe the Latino-Transylvanian janitor.

Professor Frankenstein, yet another modern descendant of the fabled Baron, is looking for medical applications of his ancestor’s work.  He thinks he can bring dead tissue back to life, and allow it to be used in organ transplants.  Naturally Those Fools at the Academy tell him it’s impossible, so he’s determined to Show Them All.  Conveniently, shortly after this declaration a car full of drunk teenagers crashes just outside Frankenstein’s home.  He and his buddy Dr. Carlton sneak off with one of the corpses, and over the next few weeks they assemble bits and pieces into a boy.  Problems arise when Frankenstein, true to form, refuses to acknowledge the humanity of his creation.  The boy wants to see the world outside the lab, the Professor’s fiancée Margaret is getting curious about what goes on down there, and Carlton is having more and more qualms… there are many ways this can end, but none of them are happy.

We’ve got some awesome mad science going on here, with a lab full of blinky light machines and a secret stock-footage alligator pit that, yes, the mad doctor does get chucked into at the end.  Lots of severed body parts are thrown around, all of them enormously fake but pretty gruesome nevertheless.  The horrible, horrible monster mask falls into this same category.  My favourite moment in the film is when Frankenstein takes his creature out to pick out a new face, and comes back with a severed head in a birdcage! My second-favourite is the traumatized witness to the car accident wailing “what a crash!”  I’d be hard-put to choose between the two for a stinger. And at the end, the movie does the same thing as War of the Colossal Beast, suddenly switching from crisp black and white to shitty desaturated colour, and it has the same effect.

But none of that is what the movie is actually about.  If there’s one thing I want to say about this film, it is the truly astonishing fact that I Was a Teenage Frankenstein appears to have been written by somebody who actually read Mary Shelley’s book.  This is not a claim that can be made of many Frankenstein movies, and certainly not of any that previously appeared on this blog.  I’m not sure the writer of Frankenstein Island had even seen any of the movies.  Although I Was a Teenage Frankenstein borrows only the barest of bones from the book’s plot, the emotional center of both is the doctor’s relationship with his creation.

The reason it’s a teenage Frankenstein, by the way, is because the professor believes one of the reasons his ancestor failed at creature-creation is because he used old, worn-out parts.  By choosing bits from young men cut down in their prime, he feels the result will be healthier and more resilient both physically and mentally.  He seems to be right, too.  His creature is not a shuffling abomination, but an intelligent and articulate young man who longs to ‘go out among people’ and is absolutely crushed to find that the ones he meets are terrified of him.

The Professor is proud of the progress he makes in teaching his creation to do things like walk and speak, but he seems entirely uninterested in the boy’s happiness or personality.  When he sees his creature crying, he is pleased that the tear ducts work.  When Margaret expresses fear of the ‘monster’, Professor Frankenstein tells her to think of him as something ‘like a machine’, a creation of science.  Finding he needs to get his creature out of the country in a hurry, he has no qualms about taking the boy apart to ship and reanimate later.  He never even bothers to give his creation a name, addressing him simply as ‘my boy’ – never just ‘boy’, but always ‘my boy’.  The possessive is important here.

Indeed, as his creature gains humanity, Professor Frankenstein seems to lose his.  At the beginning of the movie, the Professor (who never has a first name, either – he is a scientist, not a human being) seems very much in love with Margaret. As events progress, he becomes colder and colder towards her, and eventually manipulates his creation into murdering her.  Shortly thereafter is a tense moment in which we worry that the same thing will happen to Dr. Carlton.

Don’t think Frankenstein started off as a good person, though.  Though he claims to love her, he slaps Margaret when she asks what he’s working on in the basement.  When he first describes the experiment he’s about to perform to Dr. Carlton, he says he’s using the ‘principle of selective breeding’, choosing the best parts to put together into a human body.  This will be a step towards ‘perfection in the human race’. That’s the sort of language that should worry just about anybody, especially when it’s coming from somebody with a German name.  Unfortunately, the movie shies away from actually exploring the issues of eugenics or racial purity that it seems to bring up here.  You can see why they might not want to go into that, but it’s a shame they left it hanging there.

With this for his upbringing, the creature is not a model of morality either.  He eventually escapes from the lab and goes outside to interact with human beings. The first person he sees is a girl sitting and brushing her hair – when she notices him, she screams, and he accidentally kills her as he tries to make her stop.  The incident clearly has a terrible effect on him, but this has far more to do with the way people reacted to his face than with the fate of the dead woman… the creature never seems to feel a moment’s guilt about the latter.  Perhaps this is because of the way Frankenstein raised him, or maybe it’s because, being a reanimated corpse himself, the boy does not think of death as a permanent fate.  Again, the question is not explored.

That’s the main problem with I Was a Teenage Frankenstein – it keeps suggesting things it doesn’t want to follow up on.  This becomes a particular problem at the ending, which is very unsatisfying.  Frankenstein sets about taking his creation apart for transport, the boy objects and kills him, and then commits suicide by electrocuting himself.  Throughout the movie, the only thing the creature has expressed a desire for is to interact with people who aren’t afraid of him.  Having just removed that stupid monster mask had his plastic surgery, he is on the cusp of being able to do so… but he never gets the chance.

Not only is this disappointing in itself, it also leaves another plot point unsettled.  In order to get a normal-looking face, Frankenstein and the creature killed and beheaded a young man named Bob, traumatizing Bob’s girlfriend Arlene in the process.  We see Arlene’s mother describe the incident to police officers, and offer them a photograph of Bob so they can identify him if they find him.  All these characters then simply vanish.  The next scene is Frankenstein telling Carlton that they’re going to take the creature apart for shipping, and then the movie ends.

What I wanted to see at this point was the creature going out and talking to people like he always wanted.  It would seem to be going awkwardly but not bad, but then he would run into Arlene, who identifies him as Bob and tries to spread the word that he’s still alive. This would make the creature feel that he has to kill her to keep her quiet, and ultimately bring the police to Frankenstein’s door.  Instead, the movie goes with an ending that feels like kind of a cop-out, like they ran out of time and just had to finish the story as quickly as possible.  We don’t even get a decent explanation of how he knew the two scientists were going to take him apart.

This is doubly disappointing because they could have had time.  There are early, talky scenes that could have been cut down a little in order to show us things we’d rather have seen.  The movie doesn’t drag much, but there are bits where it lingers on stuff we don’t need to see, like Margaret getting the key to the lab copied, or establishing that Frankenstein knows where the Lover’s Lane is.  Alternatively, since it wasn’t going to make a plot point out of Arlene, they could have cut that scene with her mother talking to the cops entirely… that would have made the ending feel less irrelevant.

In the end, I Was a Teenage Frankenstein reminds me a lot of another favourite bad Frankenstein movie of mine, Lady Frankenstein.  The two films share a lack of ambition.  Both have everything they need to be a much more interesting and thought-provoking take on the original material, but Lady Frankenstein chose to be about Rosalba Neri’s tits and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein tosses ideas around willy-nilly without ever giving any of them a chance to stick.

The weirdest thing about the movie is that it doesn’t even make any effort to appeal to teenagers!  You’d think a movie called I Was a Teenage Frankenstein would feature the title character interacting with teenagers, or trying to do ‘teenager’ things from the 50’s, like go to sock hops or race cars.  But no, besides the creature, all the major characters are adults.  The closest they come is by encouraging teenagers to identify with the boy as he chafes against parental restrictions.  I Was a Teenage Werewolf was about actual teenagers.  Why didn’t this film, obviously a partner to it, do the same?

[gofancyninjaworld]

OPM in 2019, part 2

Yup, this was all too long, so I now have to attend to the manga.  This year, Murata kept his promise from 2018 to deliver regular chapters.  Even the passing of his father only made him take a few weeks off.   

By the numbers.  This year, Murata delivered 24 updates consisting of 624 pages.  It may not be the banner year of 2017 2018, but it still averages out at more than 50 pages a month.  He also drew 113 pages for volume releases in extra chapters, volume-only content and chapter redraws.  We thank you for your hard work, Mr. Murata!  

As to the words and pictures, much more below the cut!

beautiful and poignant -- probably the best cover this year. 

Be warned: this contains major plot spoilers

Broad Strokes

Last year focussed on the Hero Association response to the Monster Association, gathering up heroes, sorting out battle plans and sending them into the field. In the course of the war effort, the characters whom we’ve been following most consistently all got parked in one place or another.  We turned decisively away from Saitama, Genos, Garou, Fubuki, Bang, and King to focus on what the other heroes were doing, getting to know many more of them.   

This year, we’ve seen the first triumphant contact the heroes made gradually be eroded away as the monsters launch their counter-attack and one by one the parked characters have been brought back into the story to varying effect.  

2020 is promising to be the showdown year that will give us the final denouement, but I can’t promise that.  What I can promise is a closer look at the major themes of 2019.

Orochi

From half-assed plot to bad-ass plan

The first big thing is just how important Monster King Orochi has been to the story. More specifically, it's crazy how vital a linchpin he has been to Psykos’s humanity extermination plan.  The webcomic that doesn’t have Orochi makes her plan a sick joke. Like, seriously, how was Psykos planning to take over the world? In the webcomic, if things had gone to plan and she'd gotten rid of the heroes sent to the Monster Association, what then?  Not enough monsters to kill billions of people and no way to get the monsters that she does have there.  Monsters are also terribly uncooperative and undisciplined. The long-term cooperation to kill billions of people just isn’t going to happen -- without the clear, limited goal that killing Class S heroes was, they’ll just split up.  Society wasn't about to fall into a weeping puddle: we’ve seen both in the manga and the webcomic that there are loads of strong people, and that people are resilient and adaptable. It's like, that was a total idiot plot from the outset.  It’d end in failure as society adapted faster than the bickering monsters (those that didn’t leave) appreciated. 

yeah, you and what army?

On the other hand, Monster King Orochi makes Pyskos's dream a credible reality.  First, thanks to him, she got the cooperation of monsters like Elder Centipede, who was particularly important in the lead up to the Monster Association’s declaration of war.  It dug enough tunnels that monsters could appear simultaneously in multiple cities throughout the world.  Second, thanks to Orochi, she got millions of monster cells which meant that huge chunks of the population could be simultaneously monsterised in multiple locations, each able to help kill off the rest of humanity.  Their dry run two days previous to the current manga events confirmed that humanity simply couldn't cope with monsters showing up in so many places at once and yes, now they had a shot.  They could kill off the powerful organised heroes and then quickly make civilised life impossible before any credible fight back could be organised. 

This plan works.

when you realise that it’d only take a couple of hours to replenish the Monster Association’s forces

If that's all Orochi could do, it'd be plenty.  It made a bad, half-assed idiot plot into a real threat. But that's not all.  He's a crazy powerful monster, one Psykos was counting on to deal the death blow to the most powerful heroes, especially Tatsumaki.

Unfortunately for Psykos,  Saitama seems to have given Orochi a bad case of the deads.  And Amai Mask seems to have destroyed her precious store of monster cells.   Unless she have a back up depot of monster cells, her humanity extermination plan has hit a real snag. Many fans do hold out hope that Orochi isn't dead-dead and may Awaken to be real trouble.  But we'll see.

Acceptance

Speaking of Saitama and Orochi, something very important happened to Saitama’s character development that simply hasn’t happened yet in the webcomic.  Saitama accepted that yes, he’s just the strongest being alive.

We’ve seen Saitama struggle with not finding a worthy challenge.  He has bargained with it, dreaming of being weak enough to find the Subterraneans a threat.  He has been angry about it, shouting his outrage when Vaccineman died after one hit.  He has been depressed about it; we saw his whole collapse in the wake of the Superfight which led him to opening up to King.  And now, when he heard Orochi trying to introduce himself, he realised that this was just another useless blowhard like the jerk who’d kicked him to the moon and cut it short.  ‘What makes you so special?’ ‘Come at me then, but I’m expecting nothing.’

all according to expectation

It’s so rare to see Saitama show any character development, so this moment, small as it is, is really a profound step forward for the character.  We will see what happens as a result in chapters to come. 

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity

Good luck that is.  And that’s been shining on Psykos despite the setback of losing Orochi.  All the work we’ve seen her put in since chapter 57, observing heroes, sending out monsters to attack them and then seeing how they respond, has finally paid off.  

Between chapters 94 and 112, the manga really showed us precisely why the Class S heroes were so respected as the ultimate answer to the worst of the worst monsters. 

And now, by carefully siccing the right super-powerful monster on hero, Psykos has achieved what looked impossible: defeat Class S heroes en masse.

and bad luck is what happens when lack of preparation meets a challenge

It’s perfect, save monsters have a long-documented love of savouring their prey and aren’t killing the heroes as fast as they should.  Silly things: they leave the window open to rescue.

Machinations

A cyborg makes wild accusations...

Holy moly, has any hero’s stock risen and sunk as fast as Drive Knight’s has? In the space of a month, two updates, this enigmatic hero went from the new darling of the fandom to at best, a very self-interested ‘hero’ and at worst, the very traitor Metal Knight warned Child Emperor about.

We’ve known nothing about Drive Knight, what he did and just why he had a top ten ranking.  Well, we got a great masterclass in why when with a fantastic combination of power and guile, he defeated the cadre Nyan, making him the first hero other than Saitama to do so.  In fact Drive Knight is so polished in both the type of technology he has and the fluency with which he wields it that he makes Genos look like a glorified garage project. Oh wait... that’s accurate, isn’t it?

looking like Boros’s long-lost cousin, Drive Knight’s gold splendour

It’s what Drive Knight did next that set audiences against him. First, we learned that he watched the support heroes get cut down while he formulated the perfect plan. Okay, maybe he’s just a cold operator.   Second, the terrifying efficiency with which he pumped Sekingar for information on the vulnerability of the Hero Association, then failed to protect him when G-5 showed up to stop Sekingar from reporting back to the Hero Association.  Third, while we’ve known that Drive Knight is no fan of Metal Knight, accusing the latter of deliberately supplying the Monster Association is another story.  It has left us wondering whether Drive Knight is simply paranoid -- or is looking to deflect suspicion from himself.  What is not in question is that there really is a visitor from The Organisation harvesting the very data Drive Knight is worried about for the very purposes he outlines.  

Drive Knight did not look best pleased when Genos intervened in affairs and destroyed G-5, but handed over (or cut his losses?) peaceably enough.  For some reason, Drive Knight still seems to think that Genos is on his side, still going ‘we’ and making a distinction between them and the rest of humanity when explaining his desire to leave with Nyan. Why?

We have no idea when Drive Knight will reappear or quite what side he’s on, but one thing is for sure: he’s a powerful mover in this world and is bound to pose some dread challenge when he does. 

...but a greedy old man looks set to pay dearly

Top shadenfreude for me: if G5 didn't successfully remotely transmit everything it'd learned about the Metal Knight back, then Bofoi will be in the painful position of having to acknowledge that Genos got his wrinkly little nuts out of the fire. Yup, that guy Bofoi refused to help and left to die the first time he met.  That guy he started a whispering campaign against at the Hero Association.  That one. 

By the time Sekingar gets back and gives his story, Dr Bofoi will have most of the story. Once Child Emperor reports in,  Bofoi will have put all the bits together.  He’ll understand that he dodged a very large bullet as The Organisation had successfully hacked into his robot. And he was lucky their emissary didn't live to report its findings.   

How did Bofoi get in this shitty position?  By getting greedy.  He was so desperate to get a sample of Elder Centipede’s armour that he had his robot cling on and get carried into the Monster Association base.  And then let it sit and listen in. He didn’t budget on Orochi being able to disable the robot before he could trigger its self-destruct sequence. 

unfortunately for Bofoi, the Monster Association isn’t quite as selfish as he is and had no problem letting The Organisation harvest what it could of the machine they couldn’t themselves use.

It’s super unlikely that the Hero Association will take Drive Knight’s words uncritically, but they’re not stupid people -- they’ll understand that a major security breach has occurred. Suffer a little, Dr. Bofoi.

Old Players, New Roles

This year we have had no new characters introduced.  But we have had cause to re-evaluate several that we thought we knew. 

Sekingar was totally the breakout star here, surprising himself probably more than anyone else in finding that he truly did have what it took to be a hero.  I won’t go into it, full breakdown here.   What I will say is that unlike someone like Suiryu, who is just an ordinary person, Sekingar is very highly  placed within the Hero Association and looks set to be promoted further.  What he has to say and enact about the way heroes operate WILL have a disproportionate effect on the Hero Association, its future and maybe humanity’s safety. 

heroism is what you find when there are no good options but you do the right thing anyway

Genos continued to develop this year.  Last fight, he’d been devastated at not having been able to save any heroes.  This time out, saving people and showing a real resolve to take the fight to the monsters is front and centre of his actions, finally ending the hostage rescue part of the Hero Association plans.

it’s one thing to see a hero standing on top of a dead monster, but seeing this tiny guy on an armoured carrier and knowing that he could kill everybody in the convoy effortlessly did more to sell the insanity of Class S to me than many monster fights could. No wonder ordinary men call them monsters.

Two big changes from the webcomic to the manga have been first, splitting Genos off from the rest so he has to act out of his own heart rather than being carried along/supported by others. And second, giving him information about the monsters so he can descend to Hell with open eyes.  If any webcomic readers thought that Genos was being impulsive and naive when he took on the cadres rather than brave, the manga decisively lays that to rest.  This boy is truly courageous. 

Finally, the hero most known for scheming to lord it over others (in order to feel better about herself), Fubuki, closed out the year by showing an amazing side to her. 

She’s long hated dealing with strong monsters and Overgrown Pochi is her worst nightmare -- a true terror of a monster. She feels it all: inadequate, scared, frustrated, vulnerable.  Accepts that she’s almost certainly going to die.  And then uses her delusion of leading Bang and Bomb as a source of strength to bolster their bodies and protect them from harm for long enough for them to counter attack.

The bloodshot eye, the veins standing proud out of the sheer effort wrung out of her, the blood running down her face as she faces the monster.  No fucks given about decorum or looks: she’s going down swinging.  Bravo! 

Oh yeah, and Garou woke up.  He seems a bit mad. 

the second-best cover of 2019

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of February 26th, 2020

Best of this Week: Batman: Curse of the White Knight Book Seven - Sean Murphy, Matt Hollingsworth and AndWorld Design

Batman is Dead.

The last issue of Curse of the White Knight gave us the last in the story of Edmond Wayne and revealed that the man that Bruce thought was his ancestor, turned out to have been the family to Jean-Paul Valley instead. Bakkar of the Order of St. Dumas killed Edmond after betraying and stealing Gotham from under him, thus assuming the name of Wayne and forming the city to his vision. With this newfound information, Batman has found himself a man with a lineage of thievery, especially after finding out that Gotham’s Elite have been funding their crime through Wayne Enterprises.

This issue begins with a somber flashback to a moment before the funeral of the Waynes. Bruce cries and blames himself for their deaths because he wanted to see The Mask of Zorro. He had always wanted to use the rapiers that his father kept on display and figured if he learned to use them from the movie, then he would be able to impress his father enough. Alfred, always so caring, tells him that if he’s able to go to the funeral, then he can hold a rapier. He then vows to teach young Bruce how to use it for the next danger he may face.

Matt Hollingsworth colors this flashback in a cool blue hue, emphasizing both the sadness and the hopefulness of the moment. Murphy portrays Alfred as being caring and shows that even with the tears, Bruce shows his ability to rise up and become the hero that people need. Though the rapier is far too large for his kid body, Bruce holds it firm in hopes of protecting Gotham in the future.

As we cut back to the modern day, Bruce faith in himself and his dreams of becoming Gotham’s knight are shaken. He was never a Wayne by blood and he sees himself as part of Gotham’s cuse. Many would be right to see him as such given Gotham’s crime initially started off as petty stuff and eventually escalated into battles with The Joker, Two-Face and others with Gotham being caught in the crossfire every time. He didn’t even know that his company was being used by criminals because of his singular focus on fighting crime.

Murphy draws Batman as being tired and ashamed of himself for only just now understanding Jack Napier’s vision and why Batman is just as bad for Gotham as The Joker was. His expressions are melancholic, Murphy makes excellent use of shadow to try to hide some of his shame and body language to make him look like an old man that’s been sitting on a lawn chair for eighty hard years. Harleen Quinzel acts as his voice of reason during his pity party and actually shows concern for him.

Harleen has been a central character in this world since the very first issue of the original White Knight and that doesn’t change here though her own personal arc is over. The last issue saw her do her best to bring Jack Napier out of Joker’s mind for one last time for information and to save her children. In the end, she had to shoot Joker in the head to let Jack rest and rid herself of the monster that had been plaguing her for years. She still finds herself at Batman’s side as one of his most trusted friends.

Bruce still has one thing that he can do to make sure that Jean-Paul doesn’t get away with his crimes and Harley convinces him that Gotham will forgive his transgressions like they did for the former Joker in Napier. At the same time, Azrael is still out there and Murphy and Hollingsworth give readers an AMAZING shot of the villain in his updated Knightfall costume. He grabs onto the nds of his cape as he soars backwards into his hideout. The lights of the city contrast with his blacks, yellows and blues to just give us a pretty damn good shot of how powerful he feels in the suit.

This is contrasted by the next few set of panels where he’s puking out of his mask after escaping from the GTO (Gotham Task Oppression Unit). This version of Azrael has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and as such needs medicine to live and suppress the symptoms. With little dialogue and some telling panels, we see that Azrael has empty bottle after empty bottle of pills in his cabinet. He’s starting to look a bit more gaunt than the first time we saw him. He’s withering away slowly and only has one more pill to spare for his coming battle with Batman.

I love the details that Murphy and Hollingworth add here. There’s blood in his vomit and it maintains after he pukes on his leg. His ribs are starting to show and we’ve seen just how jacked he was in the issues prior. His hair doesn’t appear as long as it did, even pulled into a bun/ponytail and there’s just something so final about the “shit” he gives after finding out that he only has one more pill left. In that singular moment, his mistakes come back to haunt him after killing his, admittedly, treacherous employer.

Soon after, Bruce makes amends to Barbara Gordon after inadvertently causing the accident that almost saw her completely lose use of her legs and effectively getting her dad killed. Barbara has always been resilient and we all feared that that issue #5 would be yet another Killing Joke, but here she is, using crutches to try walking again. The scene takes place during the bright Gotham day and this signals a brighter future for their relationship.

Bruce had always gone to Jim Gordon for advice on what route he should take, but without him, Bruce is missing one of his moral compasses. Barbara is the next best person because she has always been smarter than her father and Bruce has a ton of guilt to get off of his chest and Barbara handles everything like the mature adult that she is. She doesn’t blame Bruce for what happened, even though she said horrid things in anger, but can anyone blame her? She cries at the mention of her father and embraces Bruce, encouraging whatever his decision may be.

Of course, with this being the penultimate issue in this particular storyline, it only makes sense that we see a grand revelation come out of it. Murphy and Hollingsworth set the stage with Hollingsworth coloring the afternoon skies of Gotham with an orange-red kind of hue. We see various shots of different places in Gotham from public libraries to the streets themselves as Batman appears on the giant monitor of Gotham Square. Everything feels hot and sort of uncomfortable.

Bruce gives his appreciation and thanks to the people of Gotham for allowing him to serve as their protector and we continue to get these various shots of people. There’s auto mechanics watching the broadcast in their shop, people in a bar and kids watching on a cell phone with their dog. Murphy uses this to illustrate that Gotham is far larger than we think it is and that there are many people that Batman has saved from every corner of his beloved city, but he hasn’t done enough yet. So what’s the final step?

Batman reveals himself to be Bruce Wayne and dismantles WayneCorp.

Bruce finally becomes the knight that Gotham needs by giving back to the people. By destroying his company, he gives back to the people of Gotham by giving all of his money to nonprofits, schools, homeless shelters etc. It’s everything that Batman detractors have been saying Bruce should have done for ages. In doing so, he offers Gotham a better future than he could have as Batman, but he only asks them to stay off the streets of Gotham for one night while he takes care of the Azrael business. Murphy shows Bruce holding his cowl one last time, standing tall by his heroic decision.

Back at the GCPD, he gets lambasted by Commissioner Montoya for going off and doing his own thing again, but counters by saying that he trusts in the people of Gotham and they all formulate their battle plans. It’ll be his last time taking the reigns before he turns himself in as well, so he might as well make sure that everything goes according to plan.

As Montoya tells Batman that Azrael destroyed most of the other Batmobiles in his assault on bruce in Book Four (I think), she reveals that one survived and I see that Sean Murphy is a Batfan after my own heart. The Batmobile that survives is the badass one from the Animated Series, what this book is supposed to be the “sequel” to. It's sleek and well designed thanks to Murphy’s own love of cars. From the presentation, readers can tell that this is one of the pages he took serious time with as the Batmobile is given so much respect.

After a short conversation with Dick about what Bruce is going to do when he catches Azrael, Batman drives away, leaving his sidekicks concerned about his state of mind and we get one last splash page of Batman standing in the middle of Gotham Square without his cowl and the sky is a blood red. The Batmobile looks sexy in the background and this was all just so amazing.

Sean Murphy is a comic book treasure. His art and his writing truly made this an experience and a Batman story worth standing the test of time. It had the action, the drama, the stylish sequences and several twists and turns that make a story great. He’s made Batman his own in a grungy style much like how Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo have in a heavy metal manner. Murphy’s Gotham is a masterpiece in crustpunk with social problems that Batman’s always had in the periphery of his character and every issue has been better than the last.

Matt Hollingsworth brings it to life with his perfect colors; Whether they’re making use of the blues of Gotham’s clear skies or the light purples of the night sky, Hollingworth makes Gotham look distinct no matter the time of day. Scenes are given hues to match the tone of the pages whether they’re full of intense anger or incredible sadness, Matt Hollingsworth sets the mood no matter what

I really enjoyed this series, but I can’t wait for the next and final issue of it just to see that confrontation between Batman and Azrael. It’s been a long time coming and the fallout from Bruce’s decision as well… it’ll be too much, but yeah High recommend!

Also, support me on Patreon:

patreon.com/TyTalksComics

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 57:Travails of Royalty

Chapters: 57/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: none Relationships: Loki x Reader (There We Go) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor(Marvel), Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), In Which Thor Has Regrets, Loki Tries To Be A Good Brother In The Harshest Way, Sometimes One Has To Point Out Painful Truths And Loki Has Done That Before

Summary:  Beneath the crown there sits a man, with the heart of a man, and the fears, determination, and regrets of a man. The measure of the man is the measure of the king. Thor Odinson knows this, and still worries that he measures poorly.

Loki stormed back into the main banquet hall, ready to give the annoying little twit a piece of his mind, but Thor had already intervened, detaining Gloa and lecturing her fiercely. Most of the Asgardian nobles had vacated the hall by now; those that remained were not among Gloas friends. They watched smugly as the Allfather himself had to take her into hand, and Loki knew she would be prodded about this for some time.

You had fallen back into a little knot of Avengers; Loki could see your hat among them. He headed to you first.

“Are you harmed, my dear?” He asked. Gloa was not a warrior, but she was still Asgardian. If she struck you, it could hurt you very badly.

“No, I'm just super mad!” You snarled. “I don't know where she gets off-did you know she doesn't even have a job? Andsvarr's a noble, and he has a job! He does something useful, instead of just sitting around and leeching off everyone else like a fucking parasite!” You raised your voice on that last part, and Gloa looked away from Thor to glare at you, even though she could not understand your words.

“Loki...Loki.” You clutched at his robe. “I need to go stab something. Can I head to the training area for a little while?”

“Oh. Yes, of course. Please do, go vent your frustrations on something that is not a subject of mine, whom I am obligated to protect, despite how vile I personally find them to be.”

“Didn't you chop off a guys hand?” Natasha asked. “I'm sure I heard that somewhere.”

Loki turned away, nose in the air. “He broke the law.”

“The law of Dont Fuck With Loki's Main Squeeze?” Bucky asked.

“Yes. Now get her out of here before someone else tries anything.”

                                                                          *****

You strode through he halls with Natasha, Mr. Barnes, Steve, and Mr. Rhodes at your sides, You could only imagine what you must look like to those you were passing; A storm on your face, and the king's friends for an escort. But room was made for you in the general training area.

“Okay, come on kiddo.” Mr. Rhodes said. “Show us how it's done in Asgard.”

You showed them all your knife, explained what it was, where it had come from, and how you'd gotten it. Natasha nodded slowly at the explanation.

“Yeah, sounds appropriate that you should have it.”

“I've been training with the Valkyries, and with Loki when I can.” You said. “Got a long way to go though.”

You showed them your drills, how you took on the training dummy, how you compensated for your smaller-than-Asgardian size. Your entourage watched as you went, ignoring the stares from the other trainees. They were probably used to stares, and even you were beginning to become numb to them.

“...So...” You panted, coming to a halt. “That's basically what I know...Haven't had to actually use any of this though...”

“That's probably a good thing, kid.” Mr. Rhodes said. “Did they teach you to just rush in like that, or is it because you're mad?”

“Huh?”

“What he's saying is that this style is...very Asgardian. Even the way Loki fights is very Asgardian.” Natasha said. “Meaning that, while he does add a bit of misdirection to it, he still fights like an Asgardian. Fast, hard, and very aggressive. That might not be the best technique for you, though. You don't have the same kind of physical power and durability. What you do have, is the element of surprise. Would you let me show you how to use it?”

Personal training with an Avenger? You leapt at the opportunity.

“She's gonna regret that.” Mr Rhodes said.

“Gonna regret it.” Steve echoed.

“I'm not.” Mr. Barnes said. “I get to watch.”

“You get to participate. Get over here and prepare your insteps for pain.” Natasha commanded.

Mr. Barnes approached, sighing in defeat as the others jeered at him.

                                                                         *****

“We can't just imprison people for saying things, Loki.” Thor insisted. “We'd run out of room in a day.”

“A public flogging then!” Loki said hotly.

“Loki!”

“I am beyond done with that little twit, Thor! She's been like this for centuries, but she's been crossing greater and greater lines lately. We've seen what happens when we allow these things to escalate. _____ has seen what happens, and it landed her in the healing wing with a broken face! I'll not risk it again!”

“Do we make insults illegal then? How will you keep yourself from prison, were that the case?”

Loki glared. Of course he knew he was powerless in this. What Gloa did was wrong and petty, but not illegal.

That was all too familiar.

“I understand your ire, brother. The things some of Jane's peers would say about her...and just because she was a woman and in an experimental science...it still raises my fury. But the best thing you can do for her is stand by her. Your mortal is resilient, but you can be the mighty oak on which she leans when she is weary.”

Loki liked that image. Of being strong, and steady for you. The powerful mast and billowing sails of the ship that carried you on your life's journey. The cloak around your shoulders that kept you warm when the winds of life threatened to chill you. The-

“We can forbid Gloa from talking to her.” Thor said, interrupting Loki's dreamy reverie. “But I wonder what precedent that will set. It would probably look like you were just throwing a tantrum right back at her.”

“Surely I'm not that unbecoming.”

Thor shrugged. “Not all the time.” He teased.

“I can be worse.” Loki mock-threatened.

“I know.” Thor said. “But could you put off your worseness for a few years? Just until we get a few more buildings up?”

“I'll think about it.” They both chuckled. “I'm not just going to let this go, though. Alarr has seemed quiet for now, but those who agree with him are not so restrained. You've been having to deal with them yourself, haven't you?”

Thor sighed, a long gust of exasperation. “I didn't want to bring it up. I didn't want to distress you, or her. Gloa isn't the only one, she's just the most directly vocal about it. There are several of the highest noble families that have made her the symbol of their opposition to human assimilation. Several have made attempts to trick me into passing legislation that will limit or harm her, and any other humans within our borders. Some of it was so broadly worded that it could have been used against our Vanir citizens, or even those whose ancestors intermarried.

You know, I realize that I have been irresponsible in the past, but I'm not sure why they all think I didn't get the same education they did. Do I truly seem like there is nothing but air between my ears?” He caught the twinkle in his brother's eye. “Don't answer that.”

“I believe the greater problem is that they cannot fathom the change that has come upon us, so they are pushing back without much thought as to how it might effect even other Asgardians.” Loki said, then shrugged. “That's if I'm being generous. Long-standing prejudices are not unfamiliar to Asgard. The high families may be taking this chaos as a chance to rearrange Asgard to their liking. I've heard of humans doing this many times. They call it an 'ethnic cleansing'.”

Thor shuddered. “I won't allow it.”

“I know.” Loki said. “But they will continue trying, nonetheless.”

They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, wrapped up in the challenge laid out for their future.

“I have other bad news...” Loki said, then shook his head. “No, more like...potentially uncomfortable news.”

“Ugh, lay it out.” Thor said.

“The Vision tells me that he has been sensing occasional disturbances that might be someone utilizing the power of one or more of the Stones.”

Thor shook off the malaise of the previous conversation instantly.

“What does he mean? What did he tell you?”

“Very little. Mostly that his connection with his stone is making him aware of vague fluctuations in the power of the stones. We have attempted to narrow it down: Space and Time are secure, and have not been used recently, Mind is secure, and has not been used...that Vision is aware of. I do not personally believe that your pirate friends currently have the capability to use the Power stone between them, but if you can contact them, perhaps you should. The specter on Vormir has not contacted anyone, but perhaps one of us should speak with Miss Romanoff about it.”

“Oh no.” Thor said.

“However, that leaves only one.”

“Oh no.”

“Therefore, we need to contact Dr. Foster.”

“Oh no. No, I can't. I can't do that, you know I can't do that.”

“I know, but we are still going to have to do it.”

Thor drooped. “I told her I would leave her alone.”

“And was she happy about it?”

“She wasn't happy about anything. I destroyed her life.”

“I disagree.”

“I dragged her back in to all of this!”

“She flung herself into this of her own accord.”

“How can you say that?”

“Years ago, she saw a cosmic anomaly out in the desert, and drove towards it with such joyous abandon that she ran you over with her vehicle. Years later, she stuck her hand into a glowing void, heedless of what might be there. Years after that, she enthusiastically threw herself back into the battle for cosmic safety, and she would have done so even if you had not asked. You think you 'lured her into danger' or 'tricked her into coming into contact with the Aether again', but it had already chosen her. Her very personality guaranteed that this would be her fate, with or without you. This is less about you than you think.”

Thor grumbled unintelligibly. Loki knew he'd thought about these things before but didn't want to accept them. No one wanted to accept that they might not be the most important thing in a loved one's life; he certainly didn't. But that was how it had always been between Thor and Jane, to Loki's eyes at least. She just wasn't the type to mope about men, not when there were cosmic mysteries to pick apart.

“In any case, I am going to contact her. You are free to skulk about and hide if you wish. You are the king, after all.” Loki continued.

“All right, all right, stay your stinging tongue. Perhaps I have misplaced my backbone, when it comes to her. It's just that I adore her still...” Thor sulked.

“And you are not used to being scorned.” Loki pointed out.

“I'm already down, must you keep kicking?”

“Oh dry up, brother. Stand tall instead of wallowing in assumed guilt, and she may even talk to you again.”

“Do you think so?”

Loki rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “I'm going to go find _____, and get into contact with Dr. Foster. If you will not extend a formal invitation to her, then I shall.”

                                                                               *****

“I didn't even know elbows could bend that way.” You mused.

“They can't!” Mr. Barnes griped. “Go easy dollface, I've only got one good one left!”

“And what do we do when our opponent tries to solicit sympathy from us?” Natasha asked.

“We go harder!” You exclaimed enthusiastically. Mr. Barnes groaned.

You knew he was just putting on a show. He was at least as tough as Steve, but he worked well as a foil for Natasha's teaching, not making things easy on you, but not making them impossible either. If you did it right, the things she taught you worked, so you knew for sure when you were nailing a new technique.

You'd been going for some time, and you were simultaneously energized, and worn out. These exercises were very different from the ones you had been performing, working different muscles, forcing you into a different headspace. They were very good-natured about your inexperience. It wasn't that your Asgardian tutors weren't patient with you, but they didn't show the same camaraderie.

Still you were flagging, your initial anger long since waned. Gloa could go step on a Lego, for all that you cared, but you probably should bring up with Loki that almost-threat she'd made.

Funerary boat? What did that mean? Was that what Adgardian funerals were like? How did Asgardians address death, anyway? Surely they couldn't have made graveyards! You had seen Loki's projection of Asgard: it was tiny, far too small for graveyards, even for the long-lived Asgardians.

You really needed to ask Loki about Asgardian customs surrounding death. As a Seidkona, and Loki's Seidkona specifically, you might be required to be present or even participate in a funeral, if any Asgardian actually died during your relatively short lifespan.

A glint of light caught your attention, and a dozen things rushed through your head in less than a second.

A knife! Gloa had threatened you. There were assassins within Asgard. You did not want to get stabbed again, not for anything. You had magic. Practically the instant you saw the gleam, you had turned the object back on the person who had thrown it.

It bounced off Steve Rogers chest and clattered to the ground.  

[ijustwant2write]

Expected-Arthur Pendragon x Reader x Gwaine

(GIF credit to @seniorinternaut)

Masterlist

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hey, would you be able to do an imagine where the reader is dating Gwaine but he ends up cheating with one of the maids and she doesn't react, seeing as she expected it but she is obviously still angry, so she ends up training with Arthur (who has always had a crush on her and he is really nervous around her and stutters) and she somehow ends up on top of him and they make out. Could the training be at night as well?? Thanks, love!’

Characters: Arthur Pendragon x Reader, Gwaine x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name  (Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Cheating, arguing, heartbreak

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Gwaine gripped onto my hand, dragging me down the hallways of the castle, I plastered a shy smile on my face, giggling slightly to add to the effect. I knew what was coming, I knew that guilty look and I knew why he suddenly wanted to talk; and it wasn’t an excuse for some alone time. We entered the weapons room, and I guessed that he couldn’t wait any longer, having to find the closest place for his confession. Gwaine was never serious, perhaps maybe once or twice, so anyone could see that he was in distress.

“Gwaine, what’s going on?” I questioned, acting oblivious.

He held both of my hands, looking anywhere but my eyes. I patiently waited, silently urging him to speak. I wasn’t going to suggest it, I wanted him to say it, I deserved that much. 

“(Y/N), I know when I usually grab you like this,it’s certainly a different situation, but I have something important to tell you.” He quietly said.

“Well what is it? You can tell me anything.” 

“Um. well...yes, but...I really don’t know how to say this....” He finally looked me in the eyes, staying silent, as if I was supposed to be saying something.“(Y/N), I’m so sorry, I’ve done something terrible.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know why, so please don’t ask me...but I, I slept with one of the maids behind your back.”

My face remained expressionless. As I had suspected, everyone had warned me, but did I listen? How dare he make a fool of me?! Who did he think he was? I was a lady, a very respected lady, and I had given my heart to him. Now here he was, making me look like an idiot. I hated that everyone was right about him. Why couldn’t he be the man I thought he would turn out to be?

“(Y/N), please say something.”

“Lady (Y/L/N).” I replied.

“What?”

I tore my hands away from his, reviling in his pained look.“That’s how you should be addressing me, Sir Gwaine.”

“No, please don’t do this. It was a mistake-”

“Tell me Sir Gwaine, aren’t knights supposed to be loyal? I even think they are sworn to loyalty? Not that I would know anything about that, seeing as I am a naive lady.”

“No, you are so much more than that.”

“Oh, that is good to hear. Please tell my next suitor that.”

“Why are you being so malicious? We could easily work through this.”

“We could. But then I would be giving you the power and the mindset that you could get away with this again.”

“How are you so calm? Why aren’t you shouting at me?”

“Because I already knew. I saw you both with my own eyes. Gwaine, you had the same passion in your eyes that you do with me, and that made me question everything we’ve been through. You’re a very good actor, I’ll l give you that.”

“It wasn’t the same with her!”

I nodded my head slowly.“Is there anything else to say to me? Or may I leave now?”

He was stunned to silence after that, his breathing heavy as he tried to come up with something to say. 

“No? Good. Goodbye Sir Gwaine.”

Swiftly turning away from him, I was shocked when he had the nerve to lay his hand on me again. Quickly spinning on my heel, I swung my arm back before punching him in the nose, furious that he thought he would ever have a chance with me again. He stumbled back, clutching at his nose that was now bleeding. 

“Lucky for you, I will not report this to the king. Although I am extremely upset with you, I wouldn’t feel right taking away your knighthood, you have after all done much for the people. But know this, touch me like that again and I will see to it that no one ever hears of Sir Gwaine again.”

I stared at him for a few seconds, expecting some sort of resilience or at least a plea. But I could see that he was too shocked to answer. I slowly turned around again, maintaining eye contact until the last second. I didn’t slam the door, I didn’t yell at him one last time; I was a lady, and I was going to remain one until my dying day, no matter the consequences.

Much to my surprise, Gwaine stayed far away from me after that. I would often see him around the castle, though it was virtually impossible not to. He was one of Arthur’s knights after all, and a very close friend of his. There was no sign of the maid he had eloped with, and although I felt sorry for the poor thing, I knew that I couldn’t dwell on it; that was her life, not mine, even though she had somehow snaked her way into it.

Even though I had told myself that I wouldn’t let any of Gwaine’s antics get to me, my heart had been broken, and I was just pushing that aside. It wasn’t healthy, but the proud side of me was screaming not to show him that I missed him. We had so many good times together, so many lovable moments. He was charming, caring, handsome....he had been at least. No, he broke my heart, he cheated, he lied. However, after being so caught up in ignoring what had happened, it started to take over my life. I was snapping at my poor, innocent handmaid, never smiling as much as I used to, not attending any social events and it was just making me down right miserable.

As the sun started to set, I realised that I needed to release some frustration. Finally alone for that first time that day, I changed into something simpler, planning to train with my sword as a way to let out my feelings. Perhaps I would pretend that the dummy was Gwaine. As I stood outside the weapons room, I couldn’t force myself to go in. This was where it happened. This was what I was supposed to be getting over. My hand kept reaching out to open it, then retracting itself, until I was stuck in an endless cycle.

“Lady (Y/N)?” Arthur’s voice startled me.

I curtsied to him.“King Arthur, I’m sorry, I did not hear you approaching. And I must apologise for my attire.”

“There is no need for that. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing here so late?”

“Oh, I wanted to train, obviously away from everybody.”

“You train? With swords?”

“Yes mainly. Were you about to train as well?”

He stared at me for a few seconds.“Uh, yes, yes I was. D-do you mind if I join you?”

“Of course not.”

“After you.”

He gestured to the door, waiting for me to open it. I smiled at him, trying to mask my shaky hand as I finally pushed it open. Stepping in slowly, I looked around, pretending that I was searching for my sword. Arthur grabbed his own sword and shield, whereas I couldn’t find myself to move.

“(Y/N)? Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, sorry, just stopped to think for a moment there.” I picked up my own weapons, turning to face him.“Ready?”

We made small talk as we made our way outside. Arthur and I weren’t really close, but I still considered him a friend. Of course, first and foremost he was my king, but once Gwaine and I started courting, I was able to create some sort of bond with him. 

“I have not seen you and Gwaine around for a while. Is...is everything alright?” Arthur asked as we made it outside.

Although I had said that I was not going to mention anything of what happened, I felt that Arthur should know. It would come out eventually, I had heard maids gossiping about it already, soon it would spread and be twisted. The king should know the full truth.

“He and I are no longer courting. It ended at least a week ago.”

“What? What happened?”

Without any expression on my face, I bluntly told him.“He slept with one of the maids. I don’t know why, and I don’t want to know why. I caught them, then confronted him about it.”

“And he didn’t fight for you?”

“Yes, he did. But there was no way I was going to let him back and forgive him.”

“Well, i’m very sorry for what he’s done to you. No one deserves that, especially you.”

“Especially me? What do you mean by that?”

“Um....n-nothing, just a figure of speech.”

I smiled to myself.“I actually came out here tonight to release some tension. I don’t think I’ve properly processed what’s happened.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“I just feel like...” for the first time I was starting to tear up about the situation, having to turn myself around, so that he wouldn’t see me. Taking a few deep breaths, I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus again.“Never mind. Arthur, would you care to spar with me?”

“Sp-spar?”

“Yes, spar. Are you alright this evening, my lord?”

“Yes, totally fine. Are you sure you want to spar though?”

“Of course. I need a good competitor, you seem to be the best in the land, or so I’ve heard.”

I saw his blush as he traded our swords for sticks, insisting that he didn’t want to accidentally hurt me; I remarked that it may be the other way round, earning a chuckle from him. We faced each other, starting to circle, and I could feel the excitement building.

“I’m surprised that Gwaine didn’t mention any of this.” I said.

“As am I. If I had known...well, I’m not really sure what to think of him now.”

“Please do not remove his title.” I swung for him, though he easily blocked it.

“What? Shouldn’t you be furious with him? Wouldn’t ripping his title away bring you joy?”

“Perhaps. But I feel that he is an important part of your circle, that he can be a good person. This wasn’t an accident, but I think that he serves the people well.”

Arthur then went to attack me, and I too was able to defend myself. We fought for a few seconds before I pushed him away.

“You are too good for this world (Y/N).”

“No, I’m not.” We stopped circling, keeping our defences up.“There was always a part of me that knew something would happen, it wasn’t a nice feeling. I used to fool myself into thinking I fully trusted him. No one can change that fast.”

“I don’t like to see you sad.”

“I will be fine. Anyone can get over heartbreak.”

“Some take longer than others.”

“That just depends on who is around them.”

“Well...I’ll be here.”

“Thank you Arthur.”

“I always will be.”

Smirking, I lunged for him, our sticks knocking against each other harshly as we battled. I sneakily swung my foot underneath him, tripping him up. Just as I thought that I had won, I was pulled down with him. We uncomfortably landed on the ground, our sticks thrown aside as his arms wrapped around me, me on top of him. I giggled at how close we were, and how red Arthur’s face had gone.

“Arthur, if you wanted to get this close, you just had to say.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-”

I put my finger to his lips, lost in his eyes for a moment. He was being so sweet tonight, and we weren’t that close. Although it felt slightly strange, and I knew I was being rash (and going against everything a lady should do), I leaned down, kissing him gently. At first I could tell he was surprised by the way he tensed up, but was relieved when he started to kiss me back, holding the back of my head to deepen the kiss. Gwaine had escaped my mind, he was no longer of any importance to me. And who knew, perhaps a new romance was about to enter my life.

[torestoreamends]

James Phoon as Scorpius Malfoy – 11/05/19

You have no idea how much joy it brings me to type those words. There are magical days at the show and then there’s that – incredible, once in a lifetime, wouldn’t miss it for the world.

I actually only made it for Part Two (I wasn’t meant to be at the show at all), but I ditched long-made plans and rushed over to the Palace. Because I normally refuse to do just one part and not the other, this was only the second time I’d seen one part on its own, and it was the first time I’d seen a Part Two without a Part One. I hadn’t realised how much of an impact that would have on my viewing, but it really did. 

The Scorpius we meet at the beginning of Part Two is one who’s trying to deliberately disguise his true nature and his emotions, so I think what I got from him will be quite different to the impressions of those who saw both parts. If you’re interested in the opinion of someone who did see both parts, @ohscorbus is working on a recap, which should be up soon! Anyway, without further ado, here are my thoughts! 

Act Three

My very first reaction was an emotional one. After two years, all I could think when he came out of the wings was ‘it’s James Phoon. Playing Scorpius. Finally’, and as I looked at him in that blond wig and Scorpion King robe I burst into tears.

Once I’d got myself back under control, my next impression was that he was very still – hands clenched together, straight back, chin up. It was weird for that to be one of my early impressions of a Scorpius, and it threw me off a bit, but it made sense. This Scorpius seemed to have his Scorpion King impression firmly in place. There wasn’t a moment where he really gave himself away, at least not initially.

There were a few things that stuck out to me through the next few scenes. The first was in the scene in Draco’s office. I loved the emphasis on ‘I don’t want to be who I am’. It wasn’t a stress I’d heard during that line before, and it brought out this unhappiness and frustration. Also in that scene, I noticed that James Howard as Draco was really taking his time over his lines. There were lots of long pauses and space for thought. It’s always fascinating to see how someone’s interpretation changes when faced with a new cover. The other really big thing I noticed was how having a mixed race Scorpius brought a new emphasis to the discussions of Astoria in this scene. It threw Lucius’s negative opinion of her and her defiance into a different light, in a way that I’d considered before when thinking about what it might be like to see James as Scorpius, but hadn’t expected to feel quite so tangibly when watching the scene.

In later scenes, the big thing I noticed was that James’s Scorpius stood firm when Snape pointed his wand at him before casting ‘Colloportus’. I’ve seen a lot of Scorpiuses end up cowering on the ground at the point, or at least flinching away. This one didn’t move an inch. The next few scenes were also where I started to notice the attention to detail in James’s movement – this is one of our movement captains after all; would we expect any less? The big one I noticed was in the First Task repeat, when the Time-Turner started to play up, there was a very defined jerkiness to the movement that went along with that. Normally it’s a general flail, but this was a Time-Turner that was desperate to get moving back to the present, tugging Scorpius from side to side as he tried to control it.

The scene that really started to shape my impression of James’s Scorpius was the lakeside encounter with the Dementor, right before Scorpius makes it back to the normal world. There was a real sense of both fear and resilience in this scene. For comparison, I would call Jonathan’s Scorpius bold in Part Two, but James’s wasn’t that. There was a bravery that came from the fear. He never quite conquered it, but he suppressed it, and found a strength that was greater than the fear. In this scene that was so obvious – he goes straight from this Dementor attack to suddenly having to hide from Umbridge. It’s the scene where they’re most on the edge of jeopardy, and Scorpius was shaking and tense and visibly terrified throughout, but he makes it. He’s stronger than his fear, and I feel like that was a big learning moment for James’s version of Scorpius.

Another note from that scene (aside from the movement when Scorpius was facing the Dementor, which was again spectacular), was James’s attention to detail from the books. It’s beautiful to see a real fan inhabiting this world. One of the first things you learn about Dementors in the books is their physical effect – the clamminess of the skin, how they make you shaky and weak – and James brought that out so beautifully. Scorpius wiped his forehead as he stumbled away. His legs looked like they could barely hold him. It brought me back to that original description that we get in book three, and I truly appreciated that.

James Phoon is not a splasher when he gets in the lake. Unlike Jonathan, who does his absolute best to drench the first few rows (with Joe’s willing assistance), he was very restrained. The only tidal wave movement came from the hug, which was one of the first bits of interaction I saw between Albus and Scorpius. I’m not really sure if I have a way of describing James and Joe’s Albus and Scorpius friendship aside from that it just worked? It was a seamless relationship, full of just the right amount of judgement, love, and honesty. Joe did a great job of supporting James throughout Part Two, and his role in things was quiet, consistent competence. I imagine that I’d have more to say about impressions of their friendship if I’d seen Part One too – that’s where it’s really established and shines through. Part Two is so much more about jeopardy and building on what’s already been laid down.

Up until the moment when Scorpius came out of the lake I hadn’t seen James’s version as particularly flaily or joyous, but when the adults first came onstage, that was when the sun came out. There was the true joy of Scorpius seeing Harry, Ginny, and Professor McGonagall again. And then there was the first real interaction in the show between Scorpius and his dad. Scorpius’s part of it got more sheepish as it went along, until he was muttering ‘hi, Dad’ almost in shame. James Howard allowed himself a big grin before saying ‘hello, Scorpius’, that was just Draco enough to be counted as in character, but still seemed like a personal reaction to getting to greet James Phoon as Scorpius for the first time. It was a really sweet little moment.

I was excited to see what James brought to the dorm scene. What I was not prepared for was the most intense feels ever. As he ducked down at the foot of the bed (the second time he says Albus’s name), he said ‘ Alboos?’ just the way Samuel used to, and I was not prepared for that sort of emotional attack. Then, when he got back to the bed, I could see him preparing the blanket to drape around himself for ‘bring back Mouldy Voldy and have him torture me’, and he did not disappoint.

One of my favourite things about both the big second covers that we’ve seen – Rosemary and James – were those moments where their cover journey came shining through. With Rosemary there were little bits of Noma and Rakie and Nicola and Franc scattered throughout the performance. With James there were bits of Samuel and Jonathan, even a cheeky little bit of Anthony, and it just highlighted the work and time and observation that had gone into the performance.

The other great part of the dorm scene was the final grand statement of ‘it’s time that Time-Turning became a thing of the past’. There was a little bit of pompousness to James’s Scorpius, and that was used to the most brilliant effect during this line. He straightened his back, presented the Time-Turner away from him, and said the line with such ridiculous grandeur that Albus instantly despaired of him. It was one of the most extra versions of that line I’ve ever seen.

In the Owlery scene, the pompous feeling really came to the fore. James’s Scorpius was very much a Malfoy. He had confidence in himself and in his knowledge. Whereas others have been constantly insecure and unsure of themselves, James’s Scorpius really wasn’t. He knew himself, he was happy with himself, and he knew all the proper ways of doing things – the right spells to use, the right way to destroy a Time-Turner, the theories of how to go about deciding what to do with the Time-Turner – and he was very willing to share that knowledge with Albus. It became a bit of a lecture, in this lovely way. I could imagine Scorpius sitting in the library with Albus and lecturing him on the correct way to write about Transfiguration, for example, and Albus nodding along but ultimately ignoring him and going down his own crazy path.

I don’t know why, but I vividly remember Scorpius’s first scream of pain when Delphi made her Fulgari spell burn the boys’ wrists. My immediate thought was ‘this is going to be a good torture scene. I’m looking forward to this’.

One of my thoughts throughout Part Two was that it was cool to see James Phoon do all the little tricks that only Scorpius gets to do, everything from using the Time-Turner through to the Crucio lean. He didn’t go as wild with the Crucios as I was expecting, but I didn’t mind that. His best moments in the Quidditch Pitch scene weren’t the screaming and shouting, they were the quiet, emotionally intense moments when he was sitting on the ground recovering.

This was a Scorpius who was physically vulnerable, balling himself up small, head down, all tense and tight and – again – visibly terrified. I was constantly struck by how much was going on inside him, that was escaping in flickers across his face despite his best efforts to contain it. He didn’t quite have the Malfoy veneer, but he was giving it his best go.

I don’t think I can write this recap without acknowledging the bizarre Craig-ception that went on throughout this act. Every time James was looking at Craig (Josh in this show) my brain couldn’t quite comprehend it. It first happened during the Voldy timeline (I spent most of that scene giggling about how weird it was), and then again in this scene, which had a much more emotional result.

Scorpius looked so devastated at Craig’s death. He deflated. And he turned his back to the audience and just sort of stared at the body for a bit. There were also moments when he curled up on his side and didn’t seem to want to look at anything. Where Jonathan’s Scorpius in this scene becomes a model of defiance, quite literally standing up to Delphi, James’s Scorpius seemed to get smaller. He was still mentally on it though, questioning Delphi about the prophecy, and I liked how Scorpius and Albus seemed on a level footing in this scene. They felt very together, which carried through into the maze, where they were working as a pair to try and snap Delphi’s magical hold over them.

I vividly remember Scorpius’s reaction to Delphi breaking the Time-Turner. He collapsed right onto the ground, crouching, almost sitting among the shards. There’s something so innocent and desperate about Scorpius sitting in the middle of all that destruction, just staring at it. Albus came over and put a hand on his shoulder to encourage him to his feet.

That little scene also includes one of my favourite echoes in the play. Albus points out to Scorpius that Hogwarts still looks the same, and it’s the one moment where Albus takes courage and hope from Hogwarts but Scorpius doesn’t or can’t. Albus sees Hogwarts through Scorpius’s eyes again, and Scorpius looks too but is practical enough to pull them away, because they can’t be seen there. But that one moment where Albus sees the castle as a potential safe haven is so beautiful and shows such growth.

Act Four

This Act introduced me to my favourite new Scorpius mannerism. James’s Scorpius spent the whole time they were in Godric’s Hollow fiddling with the bottom of the zip on his jacket. It was this constant, nervous little twitch. Most of the time he was just messing with the zip with one hand, but at his most anxious it would be both. There’s something lovely about seeing a classic, clear mannerism like that, at least there was for me. It reminded me of the original handful of Scorpiuses.

There was so much to love in both of James’s Godric’s Hollow scenes. The first is the flailier of the two scenes, and once Scorpius hit peak squeakiness, he never really came back down to earth. In general, James’s Scorpius voice was pretty similar to how he speaks when he’s playing Craig (although perhaps a little less breathy and stuttery). It was pretty standard as Scorpius voices go. But boy could he flail and squeak when he wanted to, and when he did it was utterly glorious. When Lily and James came out of their house for the first time, Scorpius was still so excited about Bathilda Bagshot that Albus had to drag him into cover. Also, he gave the pedant in me a gift, because he said ‘my geekness is a-quivering’, not ‘my geekiness’. I haven’t heard that line said correctly in almost a year, and I was delighted.

In the second of the Godric’s Hollow scenes, Scorpius ended up crouching down right next to Albus for the initial part of their chat. I seem to remember this occasionally happening with Samuel and Theo, and I forgot how intimate it makes the scene feel. There’s something lovely about the boys being at eye level with each other while they talk about what they’re going to do.

James’s ‘Help!’ shouts were surprisingly simple after Jonathan’s usual antics. He definitely went for them though – you could see all the muscles in his neck as he was shouting – and I love how Joe always tries to match and mock the intensity of Scorpius’s shouts.

The further through the show we got, the more little Samuel influences started to come out. There was another one in the Eureka moment, which reminded me of those final shows with Mackley as Albus where the real fireworks came out. We got the slow, crouching steps towards Albus, pointing with every word as he said ‘in your room, in the present’, and then the explosive celebrations of ‘by Dumbledore, I love it!’ Nothing beats a Scorpius participating in the euphoria of that moment, especially opposite Joe’s Albus (who always goes crazy).

When the boys are hovering around the bed, Scorpius was messing with his zip again and looking suitably anxious about the whole thing. This is probably a good point to mention that it was wonderful to focus on Scorpius during this entire Part Two. It’s so rare that I watch him as intensely as I was on Saturday, and I caught lots of lovely little moments, reactions and expressions, that I wouldn’t normally. In this scene, for example, it was fascinating to watch him hold himself back from stopping Albus climbing onto the bed between his parents, and I’m pretty sure he also glanced back either at Albus or at the blanket as he ran off towards the opposite side of the stage. There’s always so much to watch in this play, and I find that I don’t notice that I’m not watching half of it until something changes and draws my attention to it. It was one of the things that I most valued about this performance, how it opened my eyes to Scorpius again.

Everyone loves a Draco and Scorpius hug. I don’t know about anyone else in the theatre, but I for one was so excited about this particular moment that I sat up a bit in my seat in anticipation. It really didn’t disappoint, and it was a strong contrast to what Jonathan normally gives us. Jonathan has taken to running away from Draco (ever since that one show where James McGregor’s Draco terrified Scorpius so much that he had to be coaxed out of the wings), and obviously this year we’ve had the new blocking that means Draco is the one closing the distance between himself and Scorpius. So it was refreshing to see a lovely halfway house between the old and new blocking.

Draco took a few steps towards Scorpius as Scorpius ran at him, then they both ground to a halt and Scorpius deflated, terrified and worried he’d gone too far. Finally Draco delivered his ‘we can hug too’, and Scorpius threw himself into his dad’s arms with all the joy in the world. They were still in their corner of the stage – as in the new blocking – but James brought to the table the way Scorpius used to close the gap, and it became a wonderful, mutual movement towards one another. It’s been a long time since I saw such a joyous version of that hug.

It didn’t stop there either. James Howard did his usual routine of putting a hand on Scorpius’s shoulder and encouraging him to breathe and calm down, but James Phoon responded by having Scorpius put his hand on the underside of Draco’s arm, so they were both holding onto each other. It was such a light, gentle gesture, but it spoke volumes. Once Scorpius had made that initial contact with his dad, he didn’t want to let go.

Some little things from the scenes in St Jerome’s. James Phoon’s Scorpius is genuinely up for volunteering to be Voldemort (compared to Jonathan, whose line about drawing lots is a bid for peace), and that made Albus’s volunteering feel more heartfelt too. Scorpius and Albus caught each other’s eye and had a very brief silent conversation when the adults were talking about transfiguring Harry. When Scorpius and Hermione said ‘you’re not wrong’ together, Draco looked at his son with genuine pride – it was beautiful. In fact, I remember Draco spending a lot of time looking proud of Scorpius in this performance. Sometimes Draco just glows with his love for his son.

During the battle, Scorpius was placed right against the door. It felt like he was a little further from Draco than he usually is, and this was another of those scared Scorpius moments. At the end of the battle, Albus and Scorpius sometimes share a spontaneous hug, which didn’t happen in this performance, but I did see Albus looking around and watching Scorpius to make sure he was okay while the battle was still going on. Albus knew exactly where Scorpius was the whole time, and the second danger was past, he was next to him in a heartbeat.

I was wondering whether we’d get another little Samuel thing at the end of the battle, and we didn’t quite, but what we did get was absolutely fascinating. For those who don’t know, Draco picks up Delphi’s wand when she’s disarmed, and for a long time he’s been handing it to Scorpius to look after once the battle is over. Jonathan just pockets it, but Samuel used to hold it across his palms and stare at it like it was an object of terrifying evil. When James’s Scorpius got it he held it loosely in one hand. It mirrored the way the adults (and Albus) were holding their wands, but while theirs were straight, directly pointed at Delphi, Scorpius’s wasn’t. It was in a position where it could be a threat, but wasn’t quite.

At first I thought it was weird for Scorpius to be using Delphi’s wand for his own – he’s the only person in the scene without a wand to fight with – but then I realised that there was actually something poetic about Scorpius taking the wand that had tortured him and turning it back on the person who’d literally taken him to hell and back. There was also the fact that after everyone else put their wands away (when Harry says they’re not going to kill Delphi), he kept holding his. He’s the last person in the scene holding power over Delphi, and for all his fear and pain, he didn’t drop his guard for a second. It’s a testament to his inner strength and resilience that he could keep fighting, keep his defences, keep holding the source of his own torture as his own weapon, and quietly, secretly, protect everyone around him. I think that’s become one of my favourite moments of the evening, even though it was one that required a little bit more thought – that seems to always be the way with this show, particularly with Cast Three.

And then we got a stark reminder that although James’s Scorpius has that resilience and inner strength, he would far rather be protected. If his dad is there to look after him, he’ll take that option over anything else, and who can blame him? It’s impossible to be strong all the time.

After James’s death, Scorpius already had his face buried in his dad’s chest, and Draco was already rubbing his back to comfort him. It took everything in him to emerge enough to see Lily’s death, and when that happened he broke down and clung to his dad as Draco stroked his hair. Maybe it’s because I’m used to seeing such a tall Scorpius at the moment, but James looked especially small in this scene. Scorpius seemed to fit so well in his dad’s arms. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Scorpius so in need of physical protection in this scene. His dad was his shield. All the fear broke through his walls and he was shaking and unable to watch – everything he’d been keeping inside for the entirety of the two acts burst out, but it was okay because this time there was someone to take care of him.

Scorpius is so obsessed with showing his dad how brave he is that to break down like that takes a huge act of faith, and it shows the transformation of his and Draco’s relationship in such a short space of time. After everything, he must finally trust that his dad knows how brave he is. After all, someone can be exceptionally brave and exceptionally scared all at once, and I think James’s Scorpius exemplifies that more than any other. There were no additional heroics to his portrayal, Scorpius was just surviving, and sometimes that’s the bravest and most defiant thing a person can do.

The penultimate scene was a thing of joy. Flaily Scorpius was back and flailier than ever. He was melting against the bannister, sighing over Rose (which is hear was basically what he did whenever she was around or mentioned throughout the entirety of the play). He also had great fun teasing Albus. The funniest little thing that I’ve never seen before was Scorpius miming being an old lady with a walking stick when he talked about the new potions professor. I always assumed she was just a bit older than Delphi had been – maybe early 30s – but the idea that she’s actually elderly was a hilarious revelation. I would love to see someone get to take this idea and run with it. I should also mention that when Albus shoved Scorpius towards Rose he fell a couple of steps down the stairs before catching himself.

Which brings me onto the final hug. It was drawn out, heartfelt, and just downright beautiful. For a while now, Joe has been having Albus melt into the hug for a few seconds before remembering where he is and what he’s doing and shoving Scorpius away. It was like that with this one, and the fact that James’s Scorpius was relatively short meant that the two of them fit together perfectly. There were several long, blissful seconds before they parted, and when they did, Scorpius seemed particularly unsure about the version of them he had in his head. He was almost waiting for Albus’s approval of his imagination. Which of course Albus gave by way of teasing, and Scorpius ultimately bounced off the stage in happiness.

The curtain call really summed up the day. James was beaming and seemed to be drinking in every second of the experience – it must feel good to be on the front line to receive one of those standing ovations. Next to him, James Howard was glowing with pride, and at one point he reached over to squeeze James’s shoulder. It was a fitting end, one of love, happiness, and pride. That was really what the whole day was about: a celebration of a brilliant, talented, hardworking member of the cast who was finally getting his moment to shine.

[revlyncox]

Onward and Upward Forever?

Expectations of endless expansion and the reality of climate crisis

Preached to the UU Church of Silver Spring, September 15, 2019

Once upon a time, when Unitarian congregations in America were coming to terms with a post-Civil War society, when they were both overwhelmed by the social impact of industrialization and intrigued the modern conveniences made possible by it, there arose a new way of describing their faith. It was nicknamed the Unitarian covenant, and was drawn from a sermon by James Freeman Clarke in 1886. You can still find it carved into the stone walls of many of our congregations. This covenant proclaimed faith in “the fatherhood of God, the brotherhood of man, the leadership of Jesus, salvation by character, and the continuity of human development in all worlds, or, the progress of mankind onward and upward forever.”

Looking back, this covenant does seem overly optimistic. Forever? Really? No limits? Straight to the top with no setbacks? Hmmm. Perhaps we can see how that optimism came to pass in our Unitarian ancestors, at least in those who were white and middle class. I have preached before and will again about African American Unitarian and Universalist ancestors of the 19th century, whose insightful theological statements were more realistic. But among the people in Unitarian national and congregational leadership, Clarke’s statement really caught on.

For people of means in the late 1800’s, history might have seemed like a continuous march of progress toward ease and intellectual accomplishment. There were goods from around the world being served in their art and literature salons. There were factories and trains. Surely, as society advanced, people would have the time to perfect their character and draw closer to God through personal growth and development. What was less obvious to many was that this whole system of expansion was built on exploitation: exploitation of labor, and extraction of natural resources beyond what was sustainable. Because the people who were doing the preaching and the thinking and the policy making benefited from this economic system, its flaws were more difficult to see.

In her book, After the Good News: Progressive Faith Beyond Optimism, my colleague the Rev. Nancy McDonald Ladd talks about the heritage of 19th century utopian communities and intellectual movements, and how we need to sing a new song if we are to be truthful and useful in the world as it is. She writes:

The great modernist churches of the mid-twentieth century were tied to the concept of unending societal progress birthed after the industrial revolution. That vision of unending societal potential was in turn tied to patriarchal and racially unjust systems that benefited from the oppression they decried.

The prevailing cultural and socioeconomic ethos of this gospel of unending progress was built by and for white men with significant power. They exercised that power through seemingly benevolent dominion over the earth, its peoples, and its mysteries alike. So, that explains a lot of things. (p. 35) (So ends the quote)

Everything is connected here: gender oppression, racism, economic injustice, exploitation, and, most pressingly as we approach the Climate Strike this Friday, the future of our planet.

The economic systems that led us to where we are in the current climate crisis, the systems that viewed our living planet and exploited labor as raw materials for the gain of a few, are tangled up with some of the theological ideas that were foundational to our faith movement at the end of the nineteenth century.

McDonald Ladd goes on to say that a movement that recognizes the world as it is must follow the leadership of people rooted in marginalized communities. We must listen to those who know that the myth of unending progress is not a universal truth. We cannot stick with the narrative that things will get better if we just hang in there.

Our theological heritage of “onward and upward forever” has had some good points. It has helped us to see the positive potential of humanity and not just the depravity. It has encouraged our curiosity and our development of the very science that helps us describe where we are with truth and data. It has affirmed character traits like generosity and kindness. Yet the pursuit of endless expansion, either for personal gain or in the growth of industrial corporations, comes at a price. The story we have been telling ourselves for the last hundred years about inevitable, linear, and upward human progress has gotten us into trouble.

Disentangling our life-saving, humanity-affirming, earth-respecting faith from economic inequality and environmental destruction is possible, but it won’t be easy. We need to rethink our expectations about what our lives will be like, how our congregations should operate, and what it means to search for spiritual grounding.

With some understanding of how the economic, social, and spiritual thinking of the past led to our current crisis, the next project is imagining how to re-order our lives, our congregations, and our society for long-term resilience. An economic system that sees human capital and natural resources as inert things that can be fed into a machine of wealth expansion has been good for a few and disastrous for many.

As Sophia Geiger (local youth leader from Fridays for Future) has reminded us many times, our work for climate justice must be inclusive of the leadership of people who are most at risk from the impact of climate change. Hurricanes, droughts, wars over limited natural resources, and the dangers caused by melting glaciers and rising sea levels are devastating to all of us, yet it is the poorest and most vulnerable who will bear the worst of the impact. To start figuring out how to live differently, we can listen to the people who experience some of the most severe effects of the climate crisis.

The demands of the Climate Strike this Friday, September 20, include respect for indigenous land and sovereignty. We’ve seen vicious government and corporate attacks against the Standing Rock Water Protectors protesting the Dakota Access (oil) Pipeline in our own country; and similar attacks against indigenous activists trying to protect their home in the Amazon. We have seen the injustice against Aboriginal people in Australia, whose treaty rights are being ignored in order to sell their tribal lands to a coal mining corporation. All over the world, respect for indigenous people is set against resource extraction that degrades our planet. Indigenous people are among those whose survival is most affected by the changes to our planet, among those whose human rights are most threatened by the exploitative systems that got us in this mess, and among those who are most organized for resistance. The strike demands respect for their sovereignty.

The Climate Strike also demands “A transition that invests in prosperity for communities on the frontlines of poverty and pollution,” and “Welcoming those displaced by the ... effects of the climate crisis, economic inequality, violence, and lack of opportunity.”

Again, those who are marginalized by disinvestment in their neighborhoods, by environmental racism, by working class jobs that expose them to toxins -- leaders of these communities have been organizing for years, and have direct experience to share about what our society could do differently.

Refugees and migrants, people whose livelihoods or safety have been interrupted by climate crisis and by the operations of global capitalism that sees them as easy to sacrifice, their humanity and worth must be centered as we enter this new world of disruption and disaster.

Naomi Klein, in an interview with the Guardian newspaper, links the fear of environmental refugees with the resurgence of white supremacy and anti-immigrant nationalism, calling it “climate barbarism.”

Klein goes on to say that individual choices will not solve the climate crisis. She says we’ve been trained to think of ourselves as consumers before thinking of ourselves as humans. As humans, we need a chance to grieve together, to notice our feelings and process our experience, to connect face-to-face, to experience ourselves as living beings who are part of the natural world, and to band together for winnable struggles.

Now we are talking theological language again. How are we to relate to one another and to the living ecosystem of which we are a part? That is a spiritual question. How do we lament, make amends, and turn again toward right relationship? That is a religious question. How do we stay committed to our understanding of ourselves in community, not as isolated beings or lonely fighters against the world, but as responsible and responsive to that which is larger than ourselves? That is an eternal question.

It is time to reorganize our congregations, our communities, our governments so that right relationship with our planet and with human beings, starting with the most vulnerable among us, is more important than the values that underpin colonialism, extractivism, and endless consumption. I don’t have all the answers for how we do that, but I am planning to listen to the people who have been organizing for a long time across lines of geography, race, and class; to listen to people who build communities that take care of each other and move in solidarity with each other rather than trying to live single-issue lives (which Audre Lorde told us a long time ago was impossible); to listen to youth leaders, who will be dealing with this mess long after I am gone, and who are past ready to stop engaging in business as usual.

I don’t believe we can put our planet back to the way it was. I do believe that everything we do to mitigate the effects of climate change even a fraction of a percent matters, and that we have to move forward in a way that helps us care for and follow the lead of the people who are most vulnerable to the effects of climate crisis. I believe we can change how we understand what it means to be human.

For some of us, that is going to include participating in the Climate Strike, and in other direct actions. Others of us might organize to disrupt business as usual in other ways. We might sustain urban cooperative farms, or community canning kitchens, or networks of neighbors who check in when the for-profit healthcare system leaves people behind. We might participate in clothes closets or food gleaning projects or resource centers for reclaimed building materials. We are humans, not mere market units. Whatever we are doing to re-orient our society toward climate justice, whether that is advocacy or care giving or developing new ideas, let us do it in community, remembering that to be human is to be in relationship. The challenge facing us is vast. Our response must be on the same scale, and it must be infused with compassion and humility. We are called to transformation. Let’s follow this calling together. So be it. Blessed be. Amen.

[krupptonaru-blog]

Barefoot Gen/Grave of the Fireflies

Ughhh what a difficult movie to watch. I kind of knew what was coming, but it was so unfair that they spent 30 minutes building up the characters, for it to turn out the way that it did. Usually I prefer to try and do a close analysis of the material, but I think I might’ve been too caught up in it to really do that this time around. I can’t really point to any specific themes besides the most obvious ones. So, I’ll talk a bit about the things that stood out to me, and those (obvious?) themes. (also I’ll try structuring it into paragraphs, so it’s not a straight wall of text like it tends to be)

The response to the air raid (Oh it’s early), feels really casual. I feel like it almost glanced over the firebombing of Tokyo. Like it talks about how it was really vicious, but then it just moves on. According to wikipedia 100,000 people were killed in the raid, and more than a million were left homeless. I get that it didn’t kill quite as many people, and that it doesn’t leave behind radiation poisoning, but still. 

Another thing that stood out to me was that there was a relatively neutral stance. They didn’t try to absolve the Americans of anything (atomic bomb is pretty bad, and there was also that scene where they gunned down a little girl). But they also threw some blame to the Japanese government. First, there was the character of the father (openly against war/continuing it). Then (roughly 57 minutes in) they bring up that America demanded Japan’s surrender after the first nuclear bomb. It’s then stated that the Japanese essentially ignored this demand, and they also covered up what happened in Hiroshima. In this, we can see that this movie isn’t just meant to be “America bad” (or perhaps this is my bias as an American speaking). So, like I said, I think there’s neutrality in that both governments are to blame.

Of course, perhaps it’s stretching to think that it was assigning blame to Japan’s government. But, if we assume that it was, then I think we can see themes similar to what we saw in previous works. In my previous post, regarding Phoenix, I hypothesized (that feels a little formal for what I actually did, but let’s pretend) that when characters were saying “It’s the samurai who start wars”, what they were actually saying was “It’s the people in power that start wars”. Take that, and combine it with the fact that (or the fact that I think that) much of the suffering was done by the common person, and then you have a message that essentially says “People in power start wars, and the common people suffer (for it)”. I believe an echo of that message is also heard in this work. Early on in the movie (~24 minutes) Gen asks why they continue fighting, and Gen’s father says it’s because their leaders are wrong and the people in the army are the same. Continuing on to the scene at 57 minutes (leaders ignore demand/Hiroshima cover-up), which then leads to the bombing of Nagasaki. In Phoenix it’s Kiyomori/Yoshitsune/samurai that are in power, in Barefoot Gen it’s the Japanese government/army, and in both it’s the commoners who are killed/lose their home/war orphans/etc.

Another thing that stood out to me was the line in the last picture above. This is, again, in the scene around 24-25 minutes. Gen’s father declares that this kind of war can’t be right. But then he also says that protecting everybody’s life is right. I feel like we’ve also seen this theme in earlier works that we watched. Starting with the earlier one, I think that we see a similar theme in Zipang. One of the bigger things that I focused on in Zipang was the idea that “Exclusive defense is the guiding light”. If I’m not mistaken, something to that effect was explicitly stated. We also don’t see the Zipang take anybody until they’re attacked. Then in GATE, they’re initially attacked, then move through the gate to try and set up negotiations (or something?). The more important thing is we see the main character’s going out of their way to try and protect people who are technically “the enemy”. I feel like the common tie between all of this is a new(?) idea that the most important thing is defending/protecting people (emphasis on defense, as opposed to offense). Though Zipang focuses more on the fighting aspect (defending), I think GATE is pretty close in message (protecting). Fighting isn’t prevalent in Barefoot Gen, but they did do things to try to protect people (e.g. working with the maggot guy, then also cheering him on). 

Finally, throughout the movie, we see a very optimistic view of both people, and the resilience of the human spirit. Ironically I feel like this one optimistic view is the one that isn’t really shared with previous things that we’ve read. But it did feel like it was one of the movie’s main goals. There’s the rich guy(?) who caught them stealing a koi fish, let them have it, and rewarded them for it. There’s the neighbor who initially gave them his rice, and then also helped to carry Gen’s mother away from the flames. There’s the mother who just lost her baby, who then feeds Tomoko. Then they also ‘adopt’ Ryuta (arguably the weakest example, but we’re keeping it). In all of this, we see an incredible streak of selflessness, of people banding together in a time of pain/confusion/need. Gen survives his sickness. And then we have the final scene where they ‘send off’ Shinji. To me it all speaks to an incredible strength in the human spirit to be able to endure so much and still be able to help others, and then to move past that pain and look to the future. 

In the section about Barefoot Gen I mentioned that they kind of glanced over the Tokyo firebombing. I think Americans tend to learn about/focus on the atomic bombs. It makes sense. Massive weapons of destruction and all. But the firebombings were devastating as well. 

What can I say about the actual movie? Well the aunt’s a dick. What else can I say? That’s a bit more difficult. 

First, I’ll say that I think the overall, prevailing, theme of Barefoot Gen was a very optimistic one. I think the prevailing theme of Grave of the Fireflies is like... the exact opposite. Bad circumstances bring out the worst in people. First we have the aunt. Exchanges the dead mom’s kimono for rice, and then refuses to give them their rice. She even has the nerve to get offended about it. Then there’s the farmer that Seita steals from. He beats the heck out of Seita, and even after seeing that Seita really does have a little sister to take care of, he still tries to get him arrested. I get that you wouldn’t want somebody stealing yourself, but leaving a girl that young to her own devices would be condemning her to death. There’s also Seita himself. He turns to stealing because he doesn’t want to go back to the aunt and apologize. He’s not innocent by any means. Where Gen seemed to feel optimistic about the future, Seita was unable to let go of the past (and he died for it). I thought one of the ending notes (when the girls in dresses came back to the house) was very odd. Perhaps because I’m already viewing it in a negative light, it feels like it’s rubbing salt into the wound. On one side a little girl dies, and on the other you have adults (?) blithely returning home. Makes you want to call it unfair.

Another theme that I think I saw was a loss of innocence. I don’t think we are told explicit ages, but they’re both children. Seita has to bear the burden of taking care of his super young sister. He’s constantly berated by his aunt about how he isn’t doing enough. With the death of his mom, and the absence of his father, this young teenager is put into the position of a parent way too early. But, when I say loss of innocence, I’m more thinking of Setsuko’s. I mean, she’s so young. She really should be innocent, and she shouldn’t have to worry about anything. We see early on when she runs into a dead body (on the beach) that she just thinks that he’s sleeping. We wouldn’t expect somebody her age to really understand death, so that’s fine. But then later on (57 min mark) she is burying fireflies and she talks about how their mom is also in a grave. The scene is also interesting because her burying the fireflies is contrasted with others burying bodies. Then she asks why the fireflies have to die so soon. It might be a stretch, but it seems like her understanding of death has changed to me. Also of note, in the same scene Seita cries. I only bring it up because when I see it, it makes me think that he hasn’t had time where he could sit and grieve. But that’s just my thoughts on it. 

Finally, I think we have to ask why they chose to frame the story as a spirit’s memories. We have a very grim opening, where Seita dies of a broken heart (okay, more likely from starvation). Then (very end of movie) he goes with Setsuko and says it’s time to sleep, as they sit overlooking a modern Japanese city. Why? I’unno. Maybe that’s for you to decide.

[paragonrising]

@americashielded​ (you brought up good points that spurred many thoughts so I thought I would tag you in my more thought out response)

This was all too much to put in tags so forgive me XD I cannot speak for various other characters who have unfortunately bore the burden of being exposed to the vacuum of space, but Carol in particular has a few things that protect her and I think take the edge off of the cold, lifeless void of the stars.

First and foremost, she has her Starforce suit/uniform. It’s shown to be quite resilient and advanced enough to allow for effortless travel underwater, though we do not see if the suit itself can allow for propulsion in space. As afterwards, if she is flying in space on her own accord, it’s with her powers. The suit can even summon a barrier that keeps Carol from drowning. Depending on how it is designed, one can presume performs it has the same sort of functions in space, only it shields her from radiation, sun exposure, sheer cold, sheer heat… having the oxygen sucked out of her lungs…Though maybe in water or planet-side, that barrier may also function as a filter to ensure she has air.

Not sure what it would do on a planet lacking oxygen… rip. 

That’s not an option in space, so that would be a real concern for her if she didn’t have her powers to back her up. She could maybe have a sort of oxygenator built into the suit, but realistically (which is hilarious considering what this suit can apparently already do) that sort of equipment would be bulkier than her outfit allows.

Temperature wise, I think without her powers she is keenly aware of dramatic variables. The suit might protect her from the worst of it, but I imagine it’s perhaps like the combat suits in Mass Effect series. It shields you against the environment for the most part but long enough exposure becomes a real concern as the suit can no longer properly stave off the effects of -50 degrees Celsius and poor Carol is about to suffer the effects of hypothermia.

In Mass Effect it also did not stop anyone from being cold, it just made it so they don’t immediately die from it (or extreme heat, etc.).

As we’ve seen with Loki, Thor, Yondu, Quill, Gamora, and Ebony Maw, people’s reactions to space differ greatly depending on their species and cybernetic upgrades. Ebony Maw died the quickest, meaning he has the same sort of base resilience to space as humanity does—which is, uh, none. Gamora had cybernetics that helped her but we could see the effect happening to her, most notably ice forming. Quill, we saw more human reaction; his eyes became bloodshot, he paled, I think his lips darkened (but that could have been lighting effects), which is indicative of exposure to cold, and he probably nearly died.

Yondu actually did quite well from what I remember, but I’ve only seen GoTG2 once…? So I’ll have to rewatch it. I also won’t claim to know his species either, however, he probably has some cybernetic upgrades which we know from Gamora can help against space, and he’s obviously not human nor whatever Maw is.

Thor did amazing, but interestingly there were implications that a star’s energy was more dangerous to him than space. I imagine eventually he would have perished, but who knows when.

Loki is the reigning champion of falling through space without dying or becoming severely injured by it.

Carol is in that awkward middle ground. She was human until Yon-Rogg gave her the blood transfusion of the century and turned her into a Kree-Hybrid. I personally headcanon the entire process was much more than just a transfusion. But, that still leaves the question of how resilient are Kree to space? And do her powers play a role in her resilience even passively?

We get to see Carol face off (albeit briefly) against space towards the end of the Captain Marvel movie. She drops out of the science vessel, clinging to Yon-Rogg’s fighter. She doesn’t have her powers active at that moment, and you see the suit after a few seconds activate that barrier and protect her from exposure.

And then, presumably protect from re-entry. Which is… hot. In the worst ways imaginable. So just on that basis alone, her suit has to protect her reasonably well from numerous extreme elements.

Her binary form I believe offers a sort of invulnerability that makes it so she doesn’t feel the elements, or the hazards of space at all (especially considering she can move fast enough to make jumps in space). Also somehow provides her with oxygen. Very convenient. I haven’t quite decided how long she can use her powers before that sort of becomes a concern, but I don’t care for the idea that it would be endless. Cosmic energy doesn’t create air.

Generally, I work on that invulnerability making her immune to environments that would otherwise give people problems. If she’s not actively engaging her binary form, I write that differing temperatures and environments do get to her. If she’s on a planet that’s very hot for example, and she comes back to Earth (notably in the northern hemisphere), she feels chilly and will dress to keep herself warmer. Her suit makes her able to withstand hazards for longer, but it’s not perfect. If she were dressed as a civilian, for planet-side hazards, I would say she’s on Steve’s level of withstanding things unless it’s energy/electrical based. She would handle that better simply because part of her abilities revolve around energy absorption and natural deflection.

In space… I mean she’d die eventually. She doesn’t have any cybernetics, so I would say she’d last a little longer than Quill due to the Kree manipulation. Until a movie definitively shows her resilience to space or planet-side dangers, they can and do affect her.  

[cheylouwho]

South Park: The affect of Abuse and ACEs on Behavior

One thing that’s been a hot topic in the SP fandom as of late is the discussion of how the behavior (both past and present) of the child characters are affected by the experiences we’ve seen/heard about in canon. Today we’re going to talk a little about three of the most damning cases; Cartman, Tweek and Butters.

Disclaimer 1: This analysis will contain several mentions of childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect and sexual relations. Please be mindful that you have been warned.

Disclaimer 2: This is for the sake of analysis and application of knowledge that I (and those in the SP analysis discord) have. We are in no way professionals. I am only a preschool teacher so my knowledge in the field of abuse and neglect is limited to what I’ve been taught and what I have witnessed/experienced. Please take the speculation with a grain of salt… maybe even the whole shaker. Just dump it in your mouth and enjoy almost 4,000 words of fully sourced “its not that deep, fam”.

Preface: What We Know about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Before we can really dive into this whole thing, we need to discuss ACEs. These are, to put it simply, traumatic events that occur during childhood that can have lasting effects on a person’s social/emotional, cognitive and even physical development well into adulthood. They’re mostly used for identifying children/people at risk and for research. It’s pretty interesting how that’s done, so I implore you to research more if you’re curious. These experiences can include:

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Emotional abuse

Physical neglect

Emotional neglect

Intimate partner violence

Mother treated violently

Substance misuse within household

Household mental illness

Parental separation or divorce

Incarcerated household member

(Source)

Given we’re talking about Cartman, Butters and Tweek, I think you can see why I bring this up. Taking a look at this list and the canon evidence we have in show, it’s easy to say that they’ve all experienced some of these traumas. Two more important things from the source article should also be noted for the sake of this analysis:

ACEs cluster. Almost 40% of the Kaiser sample reported two or more ACEs and 12.5% experienced four or more. Because ACEs cluster, many subsequent studies now look at the cumulative effects of ACEs rather than the individual effects of each.

ACEs have a dose-response relationship with many health problems. As researchers followed participants over time, they discovered that a person’s cumulative ACEs score has a strong, graded relationship to numerous health, social, and behavioral problems throughout their lifespan, including substance use disorders.

“Chey, what the fuck are you on about? This doesn’t make sense!” you might be saying. To truly understand how these ACEs apply to these three kids and how they affect their behavior, let’s take a look at them on a case by case basis.

Cartman’s Case

Eric Cartman is probably the most interesting child in terms of applying the ACEs checklist, as well as other knowledge about abuse and neglect affects on children. We know, from canon, that Cartman lives with his single mother. He’s a low-income family. His mother has been/may still be a sex worker. He’s is very inclined to violence and seems obsessed with sexual topics. It’s very interesting to note that towards the beginning of the series, while evidences were present, Cartman was a lot more innocent. As the show went on and some of these ACE experiences actually happened in building canon, it’s worn on him and shaped him in real time into the character we know today.

ACE 1: Sexual Abuse. It’s been strongly implied that Cartman has been sexually abused.Here is a not-so-short list of examples from the fanon wiki (source). It’s long winded and detailed, so here are a few notable points (as well as some that I’ve added myself).

Engaged in inappropriate/sexual behavior for his age, such as “touching wieners” with one of his cousins (le petit tourette), giving handjobs (Fat Butt and Pancake Head), insisting on measuring penises of his classmates (TMI), putting Butters’ penis in his mouth (Cartman Sucks)

Has been sexually abused by his mother/because of his mother (An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig)

Has been abused by several adult men ON SCREEN (The Simpsons Already Did It, Cripple Fight, Cartman Joins NAMBLA, AWESOM-O, The Return of Chef, It’s A Jersey Thing)

There’s also the strong point that Cartman has come to associate sex/love as something undesired, humiliating or painful. Again, the wiki wonderfully spells these out, but I’ll summarize. Cartman constantly treats any form of sexual or romantic relations as rape and assault. One example is in the Coon and Friends trilogy, he believes a woman having a consensual relationship with a man in the park is being “raped” and needs to be saved. Another example is his expressed sadness at the New Kid’s “dad fucked your mom” backstory in FBW. Another one that is not often touched upon in his reaction to Tweek and Craig’s fight in Tweek X Craig, in which he exclaims wholeheartedly that the two of them getting into an alteration is “sex” and seems intrigued to watch what’s going to happen. He also uses sex as a form of humiliation. I’m sure this is common knowledge at this point but his infatuation with making Kyle suck his balls in Imaginationland but also in his culmination of Butters’ photographical humiliation (AKA, sticking his penis in his mouth).

It’s not talked about on the ACEs website, but children who are sexually abused are likely to exhibit disdain (but interest) in sexual relations and acting sexually mature for their age.

ACE 2 and 3: Emotional abuse and neglect. Now, before I start this, you’re probably going to say, “BUT CHEY! Liane loves and dotes on Cartman! That’s why he’s spoiled!” Boy, do I hear you, but I’m going to explain myself. While Liane does spoil Cartman to hell and back, I’d like to argue that it’s empty. Liane may often tell Cartman she loves him, she also uses tactics such as bribery (food and other things Cartman likes), neglect (Cartman has said in canon, and she’s admitted herself, to being too busy to deal with him due to being a single parent), and also exposes him to things he should not be exposed to (sex, drugs). She treats him like a friend or a companion rather than her son (Tsst) which allows Cartman to have free reign. But free reign is not always out of love and care. I’d like to argue a lot of Cartman’s power is from lack of parenting and involvement in his life.I’m sorry if this part isn’t phrased too well; I had a hard time articulating it.

This may also be why Cartman has such a mixed relationship with his mother. He’s fed the idea that things are okay and great, that nothing is wrong, and he literally eats it up. He’s not outwardly talkative about what goes on at home, and when he is, he seems to regret it immediately. His disdain for his mom may not be purely “selfish greedy child”, but completely justified “abused child”. As phrased wonderfully by one of our server members, “that’s why he calls her a bitch and all those kinds of things yet still protecting her whenever they try to rip on Liane. Because that’s the kind of love he’s used to.”

Furthermore, consider the situation around Cartman’s birth. Liane was young, drunk and the town “slut” (their words, not mine). Cartman’s father’s identity had to be hidden and there’s no doubt that took a tole on her. I’d imagine being a young, single mother is not the path she wanted for herself. I tend to think of it as a cycle- Liane doesn’t want to deal with her child due to his behavior so she checks out of the situation, actually making Cartman’s behavior worse and so on and so on. Another possibly related scene could be in “Cartman’s Mom Is A Dirty Slut”, when she still outwardly seeks an abortion for her 8 year old son.

On a slightly unrelated note, this may also be one of the reasons for Cartman’s infatuation with Kyle. He seems to mistake the traits of abuse/neglect (anger, fighting, etc) as love due to how his mother treats him. This is why he thinks Kyle enjoys his company/likes him as a friend despite how much Kyle pushes back.

Other likely ACES: Witnessing intimate partner violence (his mother is a sex worker and he’s claimed to have been in the room during these acts), mother treated violently (FBW’s little Liane arc gives me bad vibes), substance abuse within household (I forget which episodes specifically but Liane’s done drugs), parent separation or divorce (absent father figure).

Cartman’s Conclusion:

Cartman has a grand total of SEVEN potential ACEs. The reason why I started those two additional facts at the start of this is because they are culminating (several often pop up and are related to each other) and affect behavior and relationships. Cartman’s behavior, while obnoxious and impulsive at best and downright despicable at worst, can be somewhat explained by the experiences he’s faced. Abuse, neglect and sexual assault have led him to search for forms of power and control in his life, whether that be over himself, his mother or his friends. His views of the world are shaped by what he’s seen and felt. Unlike Tweek, however, he doesn’t have much of a support system, and with the “sugarcoating” under the guise of love and care, he’s less likely to get the help he needs. His risks for childhood and subsequently adulthood are very high.

Butters’ Case

Butter’s is your stereotypical abused child in terms of his behavior and coping mechanisms. I believe that even casual show-watchers would agree that he’s in some deep shit. Unlike Cartman who is a lot more nuanced about displaying what he’s experienced, Butters is naive and innocent and resilient. He easily follows what others (CARTMAN) ask of him. He assumes a more submissive role in his life, working hard to make others happy and put them first to avoid trouble. He’s an easy target for bullying and being humiliated or used. He says things out loud without noticing their implications to what has happened to him.

Unlike Liane who covers her (probably unintentional) neglect with the guise of love, he has no such outward statements from either parent. The closest we get is “this is for your own good”, but there is no loving undertone, it’s purely corporeal.  Their abuse is right in his face; it’s physical, it’s mental, it’s terrible. Steven Stotch is the primary abuser, and while Linda has done her fair share of harm, she’s generally more passive. She even states in Grounded Vindaloop that she “lets [Steven] handle the grounding”. Steven Stotch, as of FBW, is also a victim of abuse, showing that he’s perpetrating it in a cycle (you’ll notice this theme a few times in this little essay).

It’s clear as of season 20 that the effects of constant abuse have finally worn on Butters, due to his angry outbursts and sudden shift in attitude (if you want to look at it from a character standpoint and not as lazy writing cough cough). He’s hit a breaking point in what he can take, and the more he’s been exposed to his ACEs (like Cartman’s case) the more behaviorally challenged he’s become.

Another aspect to consider is his relationship with Cartman. Both share similar ACEs, but cope with them in different ways. Cartman chooses to be a controller to earn back what he’s lost, while Butters is more suited to take a backseat and follow. This is why they, despite having a very dysfunctional friendship, stick together. It may appear that Cartman is the only one benefiting, but I believe it’s more mutualistic based on their respective coping mechanisms.

ACE 1: Physical Abuse. Butters has been shown to be physically abused time and time again by Steven. He’s been hit, talked about being hit, and the biggest piece of evidence that scares the shit out of me personally is that Steven pulled off his belt and prepared to hit Butters in front of his classmates in Grounded Vindaloop. Corporal punishment has been shown time and time again to be detrimental to children’s psyc, which aligns given how Butters acts.

ACE 2: Sexual Abuse. Butters has mentioned in The Return Of Chef that he has been sexually abused by his uncle, which does not surprise me in the slightest. Butters, unlike Cartman, goes the total opposite direction of how to cope with this sort of experience; he’s blissfully unaware of what has happened and rather than let it consume him (ex. cartman) he brushes it off as no big deal. Whether this means he is truly unaware of the connotations of what was done to him or if he’s purposely repressing it is unclear, but the evidence is there that it did happen.

ACE 3 and 4: Emotional Abuse and Neglect. This one is abundant in examples. Steven appears to play a lot of mind games with Butters, whether it’s demanding he stop having nightmares (The Death of Eric Cartman), getting in trouble for looking a certain way (How To Eat With Your Butt and The List), or simply for being bullied. They constantly ground him for things that he has no control over, simple mistakes or things that he was not even involved in. I believe that Steven, similar to Cartman, takes the helplessness from childhood abuse and hurts Butters in order to feel in control of himself.

Other Possible ACEs: Household mental illness could be argued as one of the ACEs Butters experiences, although not officially confirmed in canon. I do believe that Linda has some form of mental illness due to her behavior in Butters Own Episode. Although not listed in the article, Steven’s infidelity and the tension that causes on his and Linda’s marriage is also a potential ACE, especially given that Butters was directly exposed to that whole fiasco.  

Butters’ Conclusion:

Butters’ innocence is likely a form of coping mechanism for what he’s encountered during his life. Constant physical and mental abuse have worn on him over the years, turning him more bitter and forcing him to act out. I believe this also can be accredited to his mental break in season 19’s “Safe Space”, as this is the big start of his downward spiral. Unlike Cartman, there is no cover-up for his abuse being simply that- abuse- so being able to divorce himself and his emotions will be easier for him if he were to receive support or help in some form.

Tweek’s Case

Tweek is an interesting case because while he does have emotional abuse, neglect and and forced substance abuse (coffee and/or meth addiction), he also has canon mental illness that exists outside of how he’s treated. The abuse and neglect of his parents only amplify the effects of said illness. I’ve had a selection of anons over time talk about his potential (though not confirmed) mental state, most agreeing it’s some form of panic disorder (the Tweaks claim it’s ADD, but this is really just a load of bullshit and we all know it). He is often exploited by his parents (ex. “Having a homosexual son is good for the business” in FBW) or outright lied to for the sake of business. They often brush off his worries or ignore him completely.

ACEs 1 and 2: Emotional Abuse and Neglect (EXPLOITATION). The Tweak family are no strangers to emotional abuse and neglect. Right from Tweek’s character introduction, we know something isn’t quite right. His parents feed him excessive coffee, which is later revealed to be laced with meth (did you know that meth increases body temperature, as well as caffeine overdose raising heart rate and induces anxiety? (X) Would you look at that evidence). They also frequently blackmail him into work through the threat of “selling him into slavery”.

His defining traits are usually watered down to “spaz”, and more recently, “homosexual”, hinting that his parents really don’t pay much attention to him to know much more than that. They either ignore or hardly acknowledge his fears and worries, leaving him to cope with anxiety and personal issues completely alone. He’s clearly unhappy and potentially aware of his shitty situation- in Tweek vs Craig, he slams his head against the table repeating that he “want[s] out” and that “you never help me”. In Tweek x Craig, his parents only seem to take interest in his developing relationship due to the rest of the town and their desire to look good. If you use this as anything to go off, most of their “parenting” is feeble attempts to keep up appearances.

In SOT, it’s strongly implied that Tweek is the one to usually pick up meth deliveries from Kenny’s house. This is another form of abuse, though I’m not sure if it’s exactly emotional, that he’s forced to endure. A ten year old child should not be exposed to those sort of environments, let alone be involved in the trade of drugs.

ACE 3: Substance Abuse in the Household. Whether it’s coffee, meth or other form of drugs, there’s something going on in the Tweek home that I am certain counts for this ACE. As stated in the preface, higher numbers of ACEs contribute to higher likelihoods of substance abuse- what if the child is already unintentionally abusing substances? He’s got coffee with METH INSIDE IT. I don’t think I need to go much further. There is also the possibility that with his misdiagnosis of ADD, Tweek may be provided access to other drugs for substance abuse. Meth is actually used as a way of treating ADD (X) and could be in reach for him. There’s also Amphetamine (X) which has noted side effects of "excessive grinding of the teeth,... profuse sweating,... and tics..." which could be related to his behavior. This is all purely speculation, however.

Tweek’s Conclusion:

Tweek’s struggle with mental illness is not helped by his parents frequence abuse and neglect. He’s often blackmailed into situations he doesn’t want to be in. Similar to Cartman, his forms of abuse are often sugarcoated as love, making it a little less obvious for him to pick up on. In contrast to Butters, however, he’s much less of a follower and can throw a punch when he needs to protect himself. He’s incredibly resilient and has managed to, despite early substance addiction and neglect, hold strong and even overcome massive obstacles. Of course, these are partly due to his newfound support from...

The Effect of Solid Support: Craig, Heidi, and Liane

Creek shipper or not, there is no denying that Craig has played a massive role in Tweek’s recovery. While Tweek appears to be very naturally resilient despite the odds stacked against him, the presence of someone who will actually listen to his problems and not brush them off is a huge step in the right direction. With Craig, there is a sense of trust and understanding as well as respect. He’s treated as more than a few buzzwords or free labor or any slew of hurtful remarks. His fears are able to be acknowledged and sorted though, whether it be Craig’s logical talk-throughs or someone to pat his back and say “that sucks and it’s okay” (Put It Down). Ever since the introduction of Craig as his boyfriend, we’ve seen some interesting steps in the right direction.

S21’s main theme of relationships drew a lot of interesting parallels between Creek and Heiman, namely the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy relationship. Similar to Steven Stotch, as mentioned in Butters’ case, Cartman went from abused to abuser in his relationship with Heidi. However, this was not always the case.

In early S20, Heidi was in search of her own form of support after being abused by society, simply put. She was able to find this in Cartman, who was dealing with a similar situation at the time after being “murdered” by his friends. Her presence did arguably turn him around for awhile- he seemed much happier before his self-destructive tendencies and self-doubt came in full swing. The cycle was perpetrated- Heidi wasn’t what he needed, so he went from abused to abuser. Heidi could be argued to have turned into another Cartman because she faced a watered-down version of his interpretation of “love”, aka abuse.

Let’s consider another pivotal moment for Cartman: TSST. This one is such a telling episode. While Liane is the source of most of his issues, when she was able to step into her role as a parent and provide the structure and support Cartman needed, his entire personality turned around. It wasn’t until she began treating him like a friend or companion again that he slipped back into his old ways.

Between these two scenarios, I believe it shows that if the patience and care is taken when dealing with Cartman, there is the possibility of healing. Heidi failed because she too was equally vulnerable and not in the right headspace, ultimately harming both of them (this does not excuse how cartman treated and manipulated her, BTW). Liane failed because she fell back into her cycle instead of sticking with what she had built up.

Conclusion

In conclusion, despite sharing similar ACEs, all three children we’ve discussed have different forms of coping and managing their trauma. The abuse that Butters has faced is easier to “remove” from his life due to no emotional (love) being involved in corporal punishment; however, Tweek and Cartman’s abuse have longer lasting repercussions because they’ve accepted and adapted as “that’s just the way it is”. That’s not to say they’re beyond help; all three, if done soon like in Tweek’s case, can be used to heal.

I leave this post with a sort of “call to action”. While we are talking about purely fictional characters and situations that “aren’t that deep, fam”, there are actual children suffering from these kinds of experiences. If you are aware of them, or see the red flags, please don’t hesitate to get help or find someone who can. Nobody should be like Eric Cartman and display serious red flags but slip under the radar. Thank you very much for reading my long, LONG analysis.

Special thanks/credit to the south park analysis discord ( and @dumbthotticusplayer2) for helping brainstorm/discuss :)

[tamsythepansy]

VOY: “Workforce”, the transest Star Trek episode ever

So. There’s a two-part episode of Star Trek: Voyager (“Workforce”) in which the crew all find themselves living out new lives as vaguely Fordist industrial workers on a planet called Quarra, all memory of their real lives having been artificially suppressed.

Imagine my surprise when, rewatching it years later, the bogus diagnosis they’re given as their memories start to resurface is...

...which also happens to be exactly what my partners have been reminding me for the last two months (bless them). I giggled.

Lo and behold, it happens to Tuvok as well:

Now, I get that it was the turn of the millennium and this hadn’t really entered the lexicon yet, but... this is just the tip of the iceberg. Watch along with me and see how it all plays out:

Tuvok, of course, is the first to experience memories of his real life breaking through the facade, has a panic attack, and is hospitalized:

Well, if this isn’t relatable to multitudes of trans and non-binary Star Trek fans, I don’t know what is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Of course, the ‘treatment’ for Dysphoria Syndrome involves suppressing the offending memory engrams, so the patient can peacefully return to being a cog in the cisheteronormative machine Quarran power distribution facility (read what you will into that). As the expert on Dysphoria Syndrome himself later puts it:

Sounds like an allegory for LGBTQ conversion therapy to me, I mean, what?

Anyway, Seven realizes that Tuvok might be on to something, and heads to the mental health clinic to get a gender assessment investigate:

Stepping into the realm of the purely serious for a moment, I *have* sort of read Seven’s character arc as a plausible trans allegory, and it’s pretty compelling: having her true identity suppressed at an early age, and finally being forced to confront it in adulthood; processing layers upon layers of trauma just to function as an individual; being rehabilitated by a circle of strong, compassionate women, each with their own identity issues (plus the medical wizardry, overeager cisheteronormative life coaching, and starry-eyed / vaguely inappropriate crushing of The Doctor, I guess, so yeah); struggling to reclaim her human (/feminine) sense of self even while the effects of her Borg (/patriarchal) upbringing have thoroughly warped her thoughts (even as they continue to give her superhuman resilience and insight). I’m sure there’s even a comparison to be drawn to transfeminine desirability politics — Seven is continually presented both as an extremely conventionally attractive human *and* as a mysterious cyborg whose embodiment and manner communicates an often-threatening sense of Otherness — but I’ll leave that for a future discourse. I’m honestly spitballing a bit with all of this, but to see it so explicitly referenced, intentionally or not, is quite something.

So, Seven asks the obvious question, and it turns out that, while being trans is undoubtedly a Real Thing, the specifics are... inconclusive:

Let’s take a moment to celebrate the fact that we’re finally starting to see gender doctors who actually understand us in all our nuance, because...

...we already know this is bad news. (Paging Dr. Harry Benjamin.)

Anyway, the compassionate gender doctor goes to the conversion therapy doctor to see what’s up, because clearly something over at the power plant is turning people trans:

One important takeaway from this story is “never walk away and leave your work computer unlocked”:

I get it, though! On a planet ostensibly without Tumblr or OKCupid, trans community is just really, really hard to find. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The compassionate gender doctor soon notices a pattern:

...mm hmm, it all started when a genderqueer person sneezed in the employee locker room, and somehow the conversion therapy doctor wound up with his hands full as everybody in the office came down with a bad case of The Trans.

Finally, the compassionate gender doctor is determined to be just a little bit too sympathetic to these gender deviants, and the now-canonically trans but still awesome at passing Seven of Nine comes to the rescue:

As if this weren’t trans enough...

...check out the subplot featuring Jaffen, a co-worker with whom Captain Janeway has an adorable but bittersweet whirlwind relationship. Though Jaffen presents as male and uses he/him pronouns, THIS TOTALLY HAPPENS, and its implications are never made clear:

Though this is set up as the punchline of a “your father” joke, Jaffen isn’t just fucking around here. Tuvok knows what’s up, and proceeds to Vulcan-splain the joke right back to him:

Which begs the question, how do Norvalians procreate, anyway? Are they clones, like the Vorta? Do they deposit their genetic material into pods, like the J’naii? Do they pick up ready-made offspring, like the Kobali? Whatever the intent is, it has serious implications for whatever kind of relationship he and Janeway would have (like, it’s not on the cisheteronormative trajectory of sex and babies, at the very least). So, bear with me for a moment, because this is my honest-to-goodness fan theory: 

(okay, I admit I just had that image lying around, and this seemed like as good a moment as any to use it.)

What if Norvalians reproduce parthenogenetically, leaving the entire need for a biological “father” out of the equation?

This could mean one of two things: as with terrestrial Komodo dragons (I think), parthenogenesis happens but binary sexual reproduction is still an option (which honestly doesn’t seem like the most likely explanation, given the way Jaffen and Tuvok both frame it), *or*, as with terrestrial whiptail lizards, parthenogenesis is the default, and male (i.e., sperm-producing) offspring are extremely rare and/or usually infertile.

So yeah, okay, they reproduce parthenogenetically, Jaffen is a rare male and is probably infertile, and therefore the Jaffen/Janeway relationship is more about companionship and cooperation than sex and babies. I’m fine with that, and I actually find it quite heartwarming.

But, with that in mind, do we need to assume that Jaffen is male, whatever that means for his species? After all, whiptail lizards engage in female/female courtship behaviour, which somehow makes them more fecund — and remember, it’s the Delta Quadrant; we’ve seen enough weird sex shit by Season 7 (cf. “Elogium”, “Favorite Son”, “The Disease”, “Ashes to Ashes”, off the top of my head) that we can reasonably conclude that all bets are off. 

My interpretation? Jaffen is an honest, gallant, leather-waistcoat-rocking, he/him pronoun-using, parthenogenetic Space Butch. Maybe I’ve spent too much time on Sapphic Star Trek Tumblr, or have finally disappeared up my own genderqueer ass, but I’m convinced it’s the simplest explanation that’s congruent with the facts.

[I just spent a bunch of time trying to find the “Captain Janeway is a closet lesbian, change my mind” meme, but no dice.]

Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, it’s time for me to deliver on the non-binary trans lesbian Star Trek shitposting that I’m usually all about. Having been closeted for a long time, I know a thing or two about relationships that seem straight on the surface but are actually hella queer under the hood, so to speak. Just look at these two u-hauling it on the third date (it’s adorable!):

This also seems really gay for some reason:

And, at the end of the day, he’s a good ally:

Watch the whole episode for the obligatory Sad Lesbian Ending.

The icing on this three-tiered Tholian gay wedding cake

...yup.

[Thanks to Em for subtly egging me on (ha) and Bry for putting up with me procrastinating all night. Love you both.]