#I just saw a production of the play tonight and I am kind of obsessed

[repurposedmeatlocker]

I remember a long while back, seeing a web-weaving style post that had to do with conflicts in friendships or relationships, and it had either focused entirely or included dialogue from "Art" by Yasmina Reza. Does anyone else recall seeing this, or am I just delusional?

[the-broken-truth]

Can you do yandere bully damian wayne with fem reader how is a 🐺🔥🥋 🛡 🏹 🏠 she is like demon Hunter in Gotham and sometimes batman call for her help with joker/villains and goes to Gotham academy

They Heated each other guts and she tolerated him for her best friend Jonathan Kent

Damian was dating raven how was using him as cashcow

one day in park damian get drugged and kidnapped and reader saw all the and follow there car to save him after killing his kidnappers and heal him she comfront him and tell him everything is going to be alright and give him her jacket (which he will keep it for eternity) she dropped him to his house after buying him something to eat when damian get to his father house he sees the no-one care of what happened to him they saw the he got kidnapped and they didn't care at all but reader did and the how the obsession began

*STATIC*: An Obsessive Love Born From Loathing Hate? A Golddigger, as well? Quite an interesting request we have here, Broken.

Broken Truth: That we do, so let's see what words weave together from this.

Quick Note: The name of the reader shall be Kacela - The name means 'Huntress' and is of African Origin. Just like Damien, she is a rich kid but not because her parents are rich - her human parents abandoned her and she started her own business; it's well-known but not on the same level as Wayne Enterprises.

Broken: SORRY IT'S LATE! I'VE BEEN BUSY!

- THE RUNED HUNTRESS -

[On Top Of Gotham's Rooftops - Across from a besieged Research Facility]

[The Joker was at it again but this time he wasn't working alone - he enlisted the aid of Clayface, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Killer Croc, Riddler, and Penguin to take hold of a Research Lab that contained something each member of the crime group wanted; how Joker knew this and managed to use to persuade the villains into working with him is something The Dark Knight couldn't quite figure out. What he did know was that he was going to need some help.]

[At the moment, Damien (Robin)., Dick (Nightwing), and Barbara (Batgirl) were the ones of the Bat-Family that were with him at the moment but the 4 of them weren't going to be enough and - as much as he hated it - he needed aid from a power beyond what his gadgets and training could do.]

Damien (Walks over to Batman, who is standing on the edge looking at the facility): Father, why are we still waiting while those criminals are making a mess of the place?

Bruce: Because we're waiting for someone.

Damien: Who? We have enough people, we can take them.

Bruce: Don't be foolish, Damien. It's the four of us up against seven of Gotham's Worst, plus they have hostages and have access to unknown tech or substances that could put us at a disadvantage. The person I called has abilities unlike our own and can help us a great deal.

[Damien opened his mouth to protest when a smell hit his nose - it smelled like something was burning.]

Dick (Sniff-Sniff): Does anyone else smell something burning.

Barbara: It smells like brimstone.

Bruce: She's here.

[Nightwing opened his mouth to question who 'she' was when a burst of red light from a ball of fire came shooting upward from the edge of the building before falling and landing in the clear space. The ground was scorched from the fire impact and cinders flowed around the air and lined along with the black marks up everyone looked at the person - or creature - that caused it.]

[The creature was large and muscular the body of a wild canine - a wolf - but it stood on 2 legs; except, wolves didn't have 2 horns on their foreheads. The forearms of the beast were scarred with runes that were glowing red against the black fur. The creature began to stand on 2 legs - its height towered over Bruce - and opened its eyes to reveal eyes made from hellfire. The humanoid wolf opened its jaws - letting the hot smoke out - as it began to speak to the Head of the Bat-Family.]

Wolf Creature: Dark One (What she calls Bruce), I'm answering your persistent summons. Why have you decided to bother me this time?

Barbara: Summons? (Looks at Bruce) Bruce, what is that thing?

Wolf Creature (Glares at Barbara): I am not a 'Thing', I am a Wolf Demon while you are the daughter of a cop - playing dress up just to spite him and stick your pointed head where it doesn't belong.

Barbara (Points at the Wolf Creature): Hey, don't call me a...

Bruce (Raises his hand): That's enough. (Looks at the Wolf Creature) Runed Huntress, I know you told me that you're not interested in helping me but this is important. Those criminals have many innocent people captured and are trying to access some very dangerous information and products. Our gadgets can only get us so far but your power is limitless. We need your help.

Runed Huntress (Snorts - making smoke shoot out her nose and blow in Bruce's face): Very well, I shall aid you once again but - as I said before - do not make a habit out of this; you are this city's protector, not me.

Bruce (Nods): Noted. (Turns back to the building) Now, let's get a move on.

[The Bat-Family & The Runed Huntress leaped across the building rooftops until they reached the last roof that sat at the edge of the street that separated the distance of the buildings and the facility. The Bat-Family watches as the large humanoid wolf clapped her hands together and slowly brought them apart - bring a bow that looked as if it was forged from hellfire itself. The Runed Huntress took the bow in hand and did the motion of drawing back an arrow - Damian's eyes widen as an arrow materialized in her clawed hand before she releases it. It goes soar across the street and crashes into the glass dome but doesn't shatter it - it melts it away and forms a large hole, big enough for the rescue party to get inside.]

[The villains looked upon the hole of melted glass as the Bat-Family glided in and stood before the corrupted 7. The Ringleader - The Madman known as Joker - began to chuckle and clap his hands.]

Joker (Clapping): Bats! I knew you would be here! A little late to the party, don't you think?!

Bruce (Glares at Joker): I don't have time to deal with your demented mind, Joker. Release the hostages and turns yourselves in or we can do this the hard way.

Joker (Pouts and shakes his head): Oh, Batsy... Always the party pooper; no cake for you. But in case you have noticed, I outnumber you so...I don't think you can win.

[Just then - the monstrous roaring howl of the Runed Huntress echoed in the hall as she leaped through the giant hole and landed on all fours between Joker and Bruce. She glared at the villains as her jaws opened as lava leaked from the cracks of her fangs, making 2 pools on the tile floor that began to rise and form into 2 clones of herself.]

Runed Huntress (Rising to her feet as the lava clones did the same): Now...it's an even playing field.

[When Killer Croc let loose a hiss, Runed Huntress barked back at him and the two of them charged at each other - fighting as beasts knew how to. Bruce dealt with Joker, Barbara took on Harley Quinn, Dick took care of Riddler, Damian attacked Penguin, while the other two clones took on Clayface and Poison Ivy.]

[The fight ended with the villains in cuffs and loaded into Transportation Trucks, Barbara found the scientists locked in the safe - all accounted for and unharmed, but mentally scarred - Bruce was talking to Gordon while his family looked on. Damian looked off to the side and watched the large wolf walking away and ran after her as she turned into an alleyway.]

Damian: Hey, where are you going?

Runed Huntress (Looks over her large shoulder at the Wayne Family Heir): What do you want, boy? I have aided your leader, that doesn't mean I need to stay around for his talks with the Commissioner.

Damian: Just what the hell is your problem?

Runed Huntress: My 'problems' are none of your concern, Rich Boy.

[Damian opened his mouth to speak but the large beast was engulfed by a flammed vortex that erupted from the ground around her feet and covered her until it exploded into cinders - leaving Damian alone in the alley, looking at the charred circle in the ground.]

- RAVENS LIKE THINGS THAT SPARKLE -

[The Next Day: Gotham High School - Courtyard]

"I gotta go to the library to do some last-minute reading before class starts but before I forget, can I get some cash, Bae?" The Indigo-Eyed Girl asked as she looked upon the Wayne Heir.

"More? I gave you $700 just last week." Damien said as she looked at his girlfriend.

"I know but there's a sell on some rare spell tomes and I didn't want to risk someone else getting their hands on them. o, can you give me some cash?" Raven asked with a tilt of her head like a cat; making the heir exhale.

"Okay, I send another $800." Damien exhaled, earning a kiss on his cheek from the girl how had his heart before she turned and began to walk away.

"Hey, Damien!" Damien turned to see his friend Jonathan Kent walking up to him, but he wasn't alone.

Beside Jonathan was a dark-skinned female around the same height as him with golden eyes in a constant glare, She had short black hair in an undercut - only on her right side. She was wearing the Gotham High School uniform but the man one - she wasn't in comfortable skirts and she had the money to allow this. On her wrists there 2 golden bracelets - long ones that start at her wrists and end further up her forearms - that had some kind of writing on them that Damien didn't care to translate. Why didn't he care? Because he didn't like her.

"Hey." Damien said as he looked in the direction of his friend and...tolerant.

"You good, Bro? You seemed stressed out." Jonathan said with concern in his blue eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine - Father was telling us that there is some large event tonight and he wants all of us there; no questions asked." Damien said.

"Large event? What's that?" Jonathan asked.

"He talking about Gotham's Angel Award - it's when all of Gotham's CEOs and Walking Wallets gather in one room to see who's been recognized as the most giving and kind." Kacela said as she looked at Jonathan with her arms folded.

"Funny the stray (That's what Damien calls her began she doesn't have parents, relatives, or even a surname.) knows what it is, even though you would never step foot in that place, much less get to hold an invitation." Damien said with a smirk on his face. Imagine his shock as Kacela pulls an invitation to that event from her pocket.

"You were saying, Bird Brain?" Kacela asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. Damien began to get mad and Kacela glared at him when Jonathan stepped between them.

"Whoa. Whoa. No need to fight! Just relax, guys." Jonathan said as he looked between her friends. Kacela exhaled and stepped back.

"Fine. I won't fight because Jonathan asked me to." Kacela said as she glared at Damien.

"Same here, Stray." Damien glared at her too before turning back to his phone.

"Whatcha doing, Damian?" Jonathan asked.

"Sending some cash to Raven's card." He said.

"More? Didn't you send her a lot just a few days ago?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes, but there was a book sale and she didn't want to miss out on the rare tomes that were for auction." Damian explained.

"Is that the song she sang to you? For someone so brilliant...you can't even see when you are being played." Kacela said as she placed her hands in her pockets and began to walk away.

"What's that supposed to mean, Stray?"Damian glared at her.

"Just remember - Ravens are fond of things that gleam and shine but they are also creatures that sing songs of deception." Kacela said before she entered the building, leaving Damian and Jonathan standing there.

- THE RAVEN'S DECEPTION & TRAPPED IN THE LION'S DEN -

[After Highschool]

Damian wished his friend a good evening before getting on his motorcycle and driving out of the school's parking lot. He knew that the normal route he would take was going to be caked in traffic for the event tonight and decided to head the long way. He was coming up on the red light at the intersection of 4 famous restaurants/cafes sat at the 4 Corners. He was the first vehicle in line when a familiar voice was heard from the right - he looked and the eyes under his helmet widened when they landed on his girlfriend sitting at an outdoor table with shapeshifter of the Titans - Beast Boy a.k.a Garfield. They were sitting at the table, holding hands and smiling at each other - as if they were in love.

"So, what do you want to do this weekend?" Raven asked.

"I wanna go to the new exotic animal show but tickets to that places are stupidly expensive." Garfield said.

"Don't worry, babe; I got the money from that walking piggy bank, Damian." Raven said.

"You got more? I thought he gave you some a few days ago." He said.

"Yeah, I just told him I spent the money on tomes and he gave me $700 more. All I have to do is pout and he'll give me whatever I want." Raven smirked at the notion and Garfield laughed.

Damian felt so bad about what he just heard - when the car behind him hooked their horn to let him know the light was green, he floored it and began driving down the main streets before the tears in his eyes began to blind him and he stopped on the edge of the park, took his helmet off and hid his face in hands - sobbing; showing the weakness of the Al Ghul.

His heart was broken - the one he loved was using him for a wallet for the shapeshifter and he was too blind to see it. The words Kacela said before she left that day - she was warning him that Raven was disloyal to him. The one he hated was the one who warned him.

He was so caught up in his crying that he didn't see the hooded figure sneaking up behind him and smacking him off the bike with a metal pipe in the back of his head. His world got dark when he heard the words.

"We got Wayne's Brat - we're in for a huge payday, boys." the fading voice chuckled until Damian faded into nothingness of mind.

[Around 2 Hours Later]

"Wake up, pretty boy!" someone commanded as he slapped the Wayne Heir wake - he was tied to a chair in the center of an unknown warehouse with 6 Thugs surrounding him - all of them with weapons in their hands.

"What? What the hell do you want from me?" Damian demanded as he glared at the man who slapped him - only for the same man to punch him in the face; Damian could taste the blood on his tongue before he felt it flowing out of his mouth as he tried to shake the daze from his head.

"We don't want shit from you, brat; we want a payday from Wayne and I know he'll pay huge racks to get his little boy back." The leader said.

"Boss, we've been calling Wayne but he ain't answering." A good said.

"Then keep calling! The sooner we finish this, the better." The boss order. Damian hung his head down - he was done for: his father wasn't answering the phone, his love breaks his heart...just what was he to do

The answer came as the window of the warehouse came crashing inward and a familiar Lycan-Shaped Figure came crashing into the room and landed on the ground on all fours before rising to its hind legs with a very pissed off glare in its eyes - the runes on its body shining in the light.

"What the hell is that?!" One of the Goons said as he tried to get his gun - only to have his head bitten off by the creature's jaws, letting his body hit the floor.

"Kill that thing! Fucking kill it!" The Boss said as he made Damian get to his feet and used his as a human by holding his arm around his neck and hold his gun at the creature that jumped around, slaughtering his men before turning to face him.

"Don't come any closer or I'll blow his brains out!" The boss said as he held the gun against Damian's head.

The Runed Huntress looked at a long metal nail that was sitting between her feet and reached down to gather it in her large clawed hand. Damian and the boss watched as the large wolfish creature twirled the nail between her fingers before flicking it on its head and sent it flying like a bullet - hitting the boss in the center of his head, making them lose his grip on Damian and slump to the ground. The Huntress ran over to Damian before he could fall and gathered him tenderly in her large arm before using the other one to cut his ropes - even free, the boy didn't move, he was too...cold.

"Damian, are you okay? Did they hurt you?" The Runed Huntress asked him as she looked at him with concerned eyes. Damian opened his mouth to speak but he noticed the bracelets on the creature's wrists - he saw them before, he saw them every day during school.

"K...Kacela?" Damian questioned as he looked into the creature's eyes again - there was a sparkle, a smile, then a small vortex of fire that revealed the human face of the one he hated at school.

"I always told you that you were brilliant, just weren't wary of the right people."Kacela said as she took off her jacket from her shoulders and placed it over Damian's, "Wear this, you're freezing." She said.

"You... You saved me? I thought you hated me - after everything I said and did to you." Damian said as he looked into her eyes.

"I never said I hated you, Damian; I said I hated the way you acted. As for saving you, I may have a beast's soul and form but I'm not a heartless monster to just let someone get hurt; not even someone who tries to me." Kacela explained before she turned back into the Runed Huntress, gathered Damian in her arms, and rose to her feet, "Now, let's get you home; you are too cold, you might be sick." she said as she turned on her heel and leaped back through the window she came through with the Wayne Family Heir in her arms.

- THE ONE YOU HATE IS THE ONE WHO CARES THE MOST -

[Wayne Manor]

The Runed Huntress landed in front of the door to Wayne Manor, using one of her hands to knock heavily on the door - it was soon opened by the Wayne Family Butler - Alfred Pennyworth.

"Hello, Madam Huntress, is there something I can help you with?" He then noticed Damian in her arms, "Is that Master Damian? Did something happen?" He asked.

"He was attacked and held for ransom but Bruce never answered the phone and he was harmed." Runed Huntress said.

"That's understandable - Master Bruce and the others are currently getting ready for the event and have asked not to be disturbed." Alfred said, making Kacela's eyes widen in anger.

"What?" She growled out. She pushed past the butler and followed Bruce's scent up the stairs to a meeting room - she barged in and - sure enough to what Alfred said - Bruce, Dick, and Barbara were all there, dressed in elegant attire; they all looked at the large wolf who barged into the room.

"Huntress? Is there something you need?" Bruce said.

"Are you serious, Bruce? Your son is in my arms, beaten & possibly sick, are you're asking me if I need something? Why didn't you answer the calls from Damian's phone?" Kacela asked.

"As Alfred told you, we're busy getting ready for the event." Bruce said.

"He's your son, Bruce Wanye - he was attacked, held for ransom, and beaten up and all you care about is this event? He could be sick, he's as cold as a block of ice." Huntress growled.

"Well, you got to him and saved him before he was hurt too bad, but since he can't come to the event, take him to bed and we will deal with him in the morning." Bruce said as he began walking do the door, past the wolf and his sick son, with his other 2. Kacela growled at him before looking at Damian.

"Where's your room?" She asked, her eyes widened when his hand grabbed her fur and held her close.

"Please... Please, don't leave me here." Damian pleaded - begged - as he tried to hold more tears while shivering.

"There's no way in hell I'm leaving you here. I need to get you some warm clothes." She explained.

Damian told her where his room was and she when there - placing him on the bed for a moment as she gathered pajamas and a new school uniform into the bag before closing it, picking Damian back up, opened the window, and the two of them disappeared into the night.

[Kacela's Loft]

*BEEP - BEEP - BEEP*

"Yeah, just as I thought - you're sick." Kacela said as she pulled the thermometer from the boy's lips and looked at the numbers. Kacela placed it on a napkin on the nightstand that was beside the bed Damian was laying in and the chair she was sitting in. "It seems to be a simple head cold - some medicine and rest should get you and running again, not to mention a good night's rest." Kacela explained.

"How come...you didn't go to the Gotham's Angels Award?" Damian asked as he looked at her with a warm feeling on his face - it must have been the cold.

"That place is full of people who just wanna get seen, not for doing right." Kacela explained before she reached on the nightstand to her phone, "You have to eat something before taking your meds and I don't feel like cooking tonight, so I'll order something. What are you in the mood for - Pizza or Burgers?" Kacela asked.

"What? You're letting me choose?" Damian asked.

"Sure, I don't usually have guests, so why the hell not?" Kacela gave a smile...and the warm feeling returned but it was stronger this time.

When the pizza arrived, Kacela helped Damian sit up, and the two of them ate while having conversations - turned out they had a lot of things in common, from their love of books to their outside activities. Damian asked Kacela a few questions about her knowing Raven was cheating on him and why she didn't tell him directly - she explained that it wasn't her place to speak on another person's relationship, plus he made it very clear that he had a dislike for her so what reason would he have to believe her? Damian apologized for his words but Kacela said she heard worse and wasn't bothered. Just before bedtime, Kacela gave him cold and sleeping medicine so he would be alright in the morning; she stayed with him until he fell into slumber before she went to sleep herself.

When the morning sun rose - Damian woke to the smell of pancakes. Kacela made them breakfast and even made sure Damian's phone was placed on the changer. Damian got dressed in a fresh outfit and went to eat with Kacela; who informed him that she got his bike and helmet from the park after he went to sleep; he thanked her, finished his breakfast, and left out the door...with her jacket.

- NOT SO BLIND ANYMORE -

"What do you mean we're over?!" Raven yelled as she stood before Damian.

"Just as I said - I'm done with you, Raven. You're nothing but a gold-digger and a liar, and you only see me as a mess to keep that green boyfriend of yours happy. I'm not giving you anything else but a hard time if you ever show your face again." Damian glared at her, causing her to huff and march away to the school building.

"Whoa, Damian." Jonathan said as he walked over, "You really broke up with her?" He asked.

"I don't have time for gold-diggers and liars." He looked around, "Where's Kacela?" he asked.

"She called and said... Wait, did you just call her by her name? I thought she was a stray?" He said but swallowed when Damian glared at her.

"Never. Call. Her. That." Damian growled.

"Okay. Okay, man - sorry." He said.

"Now, what did she tell you?" Damian asked.

"She said she couldn't come today - there are some major investors that are interested in her company and want to make a partnership, so she won't be in today." Jonathan said.

"Really? Then, I'll speak to her later." Damian said.

"Talk about what? Wait, isn't that her jacket?" He asked.

"Yes." He said, 'But it's more than just that. It's the start of what Kacela and I shall be...together.'

[glumpiglet]

Indulgence (F!ReaderxBeetlejuice)

Alright well in my other fic ‘Reassurance’ I had an idea of Beetlejuice being all hot and bothered by the reader licking a knife. And I explored that a little more… And I did realize I might have a little bit of a food kink… ANYWAYS This is the product of that. Woof, enjoy or like tell me it sucks please, whatever... I’m so nervous posting this. I’m blushing and i know this isn’t even that lewd.

Warning: NSFW! 18+! I am going full smutty smut smut with this. Beware. I’m talking about Oral, Overstimulation. Light BDSM. the works. 

You believed people could find satisfaction in any number of things. Food was one for you. From a young age you took your time with meals, savouring the tastes and textures of what you put in your mouth, wanting to know best how to prepare the things that nourished you.  

The career you had didn’t consist of being some five star Michelin chef, but you were a good cook. Took care with the food made and was always trying new things in the kitchen. Even spent most of the extra money you had on any appliance or ingredient that caught your fancy. 

What you never expected was ever to share the company of a ghost, never mind a demonic, powerful spectre that was Beetlejuice. Or Lawrence as he let you call him. 

A dead boyfriend was something you had been taking pretty well all considering. BJ was quirky, to say the least. 

Lately you have been trying to give him hobbies other than attempting to scare the living shit out of those around him, and trying to get your attention all the time. 

Showing him how to collect bugs from the garden, you had an old aquarium brought out and set up with the ghost, watching with pride as he took to it naturally. Filling it with dirt, sticks; creatures flitted around inside and you saw he was becoming quite the connoisseur.

Loving books was another passion of yours, had a pretty well stocked bookshelf if you did say so yourself. It had taken weeks to get Beetlejuice to confess to being subpar at reading and spelling. You didn’t know what kind of education he had had, but teaching him had been a thrill. It had been slow, arduous work, but he was coming along nicely, reading at an excellent level. You even had a decent Stephen King collection Beetlejuice seemed to enjoy.    

Another peculiar thing about Beetlejuice made itself known when you cooked.  

Beetlejuice acted strange when you ate. He hardly ever joined in on your meals, had told you once that he didn’t need to eat much, being dead for forever and all. 

In all honesty it would have been easier had he had any desire for the food you so enjoyed. 

Instead he sat at the table, and watched. 

You had to get over your shyness quickly. Beetlejuice was exorbitant, a bundle of energy. Boundaries were something that did not exist to him. Even before you started having sex, he was constantly touching; playing with your hair, marveling at your soft, smooth skin. 

He was particularly devilish tonight. You could tell by his sly smile, his whole body practically glowing green. Bolts of pinks shifting through his hair as he caught you up on his trip to the Netherworld. And maybe you were trying to tease him a bit tonight, comfy in a pale nightgown you knew he liked, and could felt your nipples perked with the AC running through the house. 

Having to practically push him out of the kitchen as you cooked the pasta however, he kept getting in the way and you were going to burn yourself if he tried to distract one more time.

Once the dish had been cooked and you sat down to eat, watching with amusement as Beetlejuice scraped the nearest chair towards you, he plopped down in immediate proximity to you. In the past, it was common to have to tell him to get his own chair on several occasions, he had a habit of wanting to just sit into your lap.    

“.......So I says to him, ‘Buddy, I don’t know where you think you are, but that’s no guppy biting your leg!”

Giggling at his boisterous story, the two  of you shared a laugh as you slipped some of the noodles into your mouth. You had begun to grow your own tomatoes and zucchini, and had to say it was a success so far, they were juicy, almost sweet. This might have been the best primavera you made in your life.  

Moans were coming out of your mouth before they could be stopped. Your family was always making fun of you about the way you ate, joking they couldn’t take you to restaurants because of it. It couldn’t be helped. Taste was your favourite sense, a thing that activated the happy nerve in the brain, making your body react in a subconscious way.     

Beetlejuice went silent.

Taking a few more bites, humming at the flavour and oblivious to BJ’s sudden change. A moment you looked up and took notice of how the air was tense. 

BJ didn’t scare you in day to day life. But you knew never to underestimate him, and to not play innocent around him. Beetlejuice was a predator, a veritable horror show of demonic talents that were solely used for scaring breathers.

Still, when Beetlejuice gave that look, golden eyes glittering with savage intent, hair blown a completely different colour; you knew it wasn’t scaring he had in his mind.

BJ pounced. Gripping your shoulders, he kissed desperately. Shoving his tongue into your mouth, you stumbled, dropping a fork as he basically hauled you up. Pinned by his body against the table, you made a noise of discontent at his assault as he pulled back, looking with eyes blown wide with lust.   

“Fuck….. Sorry, babes, I need you..” Swept up in his surprise attack, a bolt of pleasure made you quake as he kissed the sweet spot on your neck, latching on and lapping the skin. 

Beetlejuice was obsessed with marking, rubbing his facial hair vigorously across sensitive parts, biting and sucking sometimes on the peak of being painful. You knew he wasn’t trying to hurt you, sometimes his eagerness could take over. On the tip of your tongue was a protest, but when it was realized you weren’t going into work tomorrow….. You’d suppose he could have his way.   

“Now.” The growl against your cleavage was impatient. You knew if you didn’t stop his rough clench of his fists in your nightgown, he would just rip the thing in two. As he manhandled your body, there was the instinct to submit, allow him to have his wicked way.

You knew the truth.

He missed you.

It was at your encouragement that made him�� go back from time to time, he mentioned having several friends ‘back home’. You felt bad for him, he had said he had been stuck invisible among the living for a long time, longer than you could comprehend. 

Then one day you were being curious about ghostly things and he showed you a book called ‘Handbook for the Recently Deceased.’

“Why do you have this? You’re not recently deceased.”

He looked at you as if you’d grown an extra head, and explained slowly.

“It comes with the tote bag, babes.”

He even opened it, once you realized you couldn’t ‘being a breather and all’. It was the oddest thing you ever saw. Glowing pages filled with ancient looking text. It smelt of old pages and sulfur. A line caught your eyes ‘Proceed directly to the Netherworld…’

“This says in order to get to the Netherworld, you just draw a door.”

“Yeah that’s how it works…. Welp, cupcake, you don’t wanna read that boring thing…..Wanna see a puppet show?”

Trying to take it from you, you held it out of his reach. Beetlejuice could be so deflected sometimes. It became a game, and you were getting really good at knowing which questions to ask.  

“Wait, I’m confused. You mean you’ve been able to go back the whole time? Why haven’t you?”

Snatching the book from your hands, he muttered about ‘bad idea’ and ‘stupid’ until you got it out of him. 

“I never really….Belonged there. My mom was always telling me….. Demons weren’t like me, I was a failure….”

Juno. That cunt. Oh yes, Beetlejuice had told you about his ‘mother’. 

Realizing if you took a trip down, you might be able to give that rotten bitch a good piece of your mind. Sadly, trying to get him to take you to the Netherworld had been a vehement ‘no’.

“Absolutely not, (Y/N). Breathers are not allowed there and…….I don’t need anything to ever happen to you.”

That had been it on that, you couldn’t exactly argue with him. Pushing murderous thoughts to the back of your mind, but the idea was never completely forgotten. 

“I think you should still go and visit your friends, BJ. I’ll be here when you come back.”

Assuring him over and over it would be okay, finally he began his vacations. Time apparently moved differently down in the Netherworld, he would be gone for extended periods of time. So once in a while you had to let your little bug fly away, but every time he came back, you remembered that old saying about ‘if you love something, set it free…’ 

Chuckling into the present, you tried to extract from his hold. “Slow down, I didn’t even finish my dinner.”

His hands greedily twisted in the fabric of your gown, bunching it up to your thighs, you shivered as the cool table was pressed against your ass. Feeling him slipping your panties down your legs, you shifted onto the table, more than willing to help his progress.  

“Babes. I’m hungry. Tonight, you gotta feed me.” His intention was immediately clear and you gasped at his vulgar words. 

Barely able to stutter out a “B-Beetlejuice!” The demon dove into you.

Intense, sudden stimulation to your clit had you reeling. Gripping his magenta hair, trying to find an anchor, you couldn’t stop from moaning out. 

Beetlejuice wasn’t just enthusiastic when he ate you out, he was ravenous. Drooling at your taste, his growls were immediate, low and consistent like a beast. Added vibration from his response made your pussy clench. He just started but already you could already feel the flutters of an impending orgasm,

He certainly wasn’t helping. Face buried deep between your legs you began to hear low murmuring. Deep, rasping praises that you struggled to quiet to hear over his slurping.  

“Mmm….Taste so fucking good, babes… That’s right….. Feed me your sweet cum.” You had to cover your glowing face with your hand. You couldn’t take Beetlejuice’s mouth sometimes. What it said, or what it could do to you. 

That was it. His voice was enough. Lolling your head back, you surrendered as the convulsions overtook your body, pussy spasming as you came. Hard. Your hips swiveled, chasing the bliss. He slowed down to tender licks, but he didn’t stop completely. Your body continued to writhe, trying to push him away with hands to his forehead. His grip only intensified.  

“Ohhh, jesus….. Sweetie. I’m not nearly full yet. You gotta give me more.” His voice was granite. Dark, and tensed through clenched teeth. His face was slick with saliva and cum, trails of the mixture stringing his face to your pussy, glistening his cheeks and your thighs. He was making such a mess of you, and showed no signs of stopping.  

“I-I can’t.. I’m too s-sensitive..” Changing his pace, you could go limp as he gently sucked and licked at your entrance, teasing the walls just inside; running his nose over your swollen lips. 

“I don’t think so, doll…. Hmm…. I think if I stayed like this for who knows… Another hour, you could come at least 4-5 times for me. That would fill me.”

“BJ, no!” Lifting your upper body off the table, you watched as two hands appeared from under his jacket, gripping your wrists to the surface as his own kept your thighs parted. Continuing your desperate pleas, more hands jutted out. Grabbing at your shoulders, your hips. Pinning you down.

Whining, your treacherous body peaked again, just the idea of being at his mercy heady. You loved when he was like this, as vulgar as it was.  

“I know you can do it, babes. Just give me a bit more of you. I need it.” Snarling into your mound, he gave you a small respite and began to nuzzle and nip at your thighs. The hands were also being kind, stroking your skin, running across your nipples teasingly; letting you at least catch your breath before you hyperventilate. 

“What's the safe word?”

“Chartreuse…” You considered using it, you seriously didn’t think you could cum anymore, the pleasure was too intense.

“That’s it, baby. You ready?”

Nodding, he began anew and you sighed at his soft, kitten licks. He knew just how to bring you around and soon you were pulsing, working your way to another climax, pushed harder by Beetlejuice’s minstrasions. 

“You got it…. Just relax…... Daddy gonna take care of you.”

At some point, you lost track of time. Delirious, all you could do was lay there as he continued. 

Beetlejuice alternated between rough, frantic treatment, or tenderly nuzzling into you, playing against your tender inner walls with meaty fingers. Orgasm number three and four reached you at some point, one brought around so softly and sudden you hardly realized you had it at all. 

The pleasure started to move into pain. After shivering through one final eruption, you cried out in slight discomfort and Beetlejuice knew immediately. 

BJ pulled back, multiple hands caressed down your body, making you shudder as they disappeared back under his jacket. Soon enough, it was just his own hands stroking your trembling thighs, shushing you passionately.

“That’s it...Delicious…. Fucking gorgeous little breather….. You did so good, baby.” His voice was wrecked. Nothing more than deep razor blades cutting in the air, reaching your ears from a distance. 

Dazed was an understatement. You were knocked out. Sleeping on your dining room table was a pretty good choice at this very moment, but instead you felt yourself being lifted. He was floating with you in his arms, well you supposed having a demon for a lover had to have its perks. 

He laid you down on your bed and you sighed into the cool sheets against your overstimulated body. Staying there comfortably, you couldn’t even gain the strength to open your eyes to see where the devil disappeared to. 

You jerked as you felt a cool cloth being run around your privates, glancing up at Beetlejuice, rapt in his attention. The aftercare he was giving you never ceased to make your heart swell. He just treated you so well. 

A burst of energy made you intent to return to favour. 

As he leaned over you, you grabbed at his lapels, pulling him down onto you with an ‘oof!’ As you began your descent passed his tummy to his cock, deftly unbuttoning and slipping your hand inside. You weren’t prepared for what met you there.

Beetlejuice was flaccid. The idea that something was terribly wrong with him flashed through your mind before you realized something else. He felt sticky. Heaving out a choked, sensitive sound, he grabbed at your hand to still it. You put two and two together. 

“Did you-?”

“Uh, yeah…….I came like three times during that… I guess I better get these off.” Giggling at his honesty, you watched as he snapped his fingers, transforming from big bad ghost with the most to the snugly little bug you hunkered down with nightly. 

Pajamas you had provided for him when you found out he only owned the one suit…. Yikes. You’d have to ask him for that in the morning to wash. 

Snuggling into your bed, once again thankful for his cooled body against your hotness. You ran your hand through the thick fuzz on his tummy, murmuring words of adoration to each other, you felt safe enough to drift off. Knowing that Beetlejuice would be right where you left him. 

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 20: The Actress Drops Her Mask

[edited to add my cover because a couple people liked the last one]

“What a terrible composition.” Several minutes into the sonata, a man standing nearby begins to complain. “I don’t understand why the host likes him so much, that hornswoggler can’t even play well.”

I turn to the man, and raise an eyebrow upon seeing the rounded, short-nailed fingers gripping his glass close to his face. A jealous pianist, no doubt. And a very drunk one, too.

“Really? I’ve heard some people claim him to be Mozart reborn,” I say, nonchalant, and hold back a smile. If only he knew. Thankfully, no one seems to be paying attention to us.

“Then those people are imbeciles!” he declares angrily before downing what’s left in his glass. After he regains his composure, he gets uncomfortably close to me. “What is a belle mademoiselle like yourself doing all alone here?”

Shit, apparently some men will be gross regardless of the time’s customs.

“Actually, I came here with...”

Halfway through my sentence, I spot Shakespeare talking to another gentleman, not too far from us. I wave my hand in the air to catch his attention, and soon he is walking towards us.

“Guillaume!” I exclaim, and curl my arm around his. “You know I hate it when you leave me alone like that, my love.” Unfazed by my whining, he plays along without missing a beat and reaches up to stroke my cheek.

“My sweet rose, thou knowest I shall always come back to thee. For where thou art, there is the world itself, and where thou art not, desolation.” I recognize the quote from one of his plays, but I fail to remember which one.

“Oh, Guillaume, you’re making me blush!” I pull him closer, effortlessly playing the role of the smitten lover, and lean up to whisper into his ear through a fake smile. “Get me out of here.”

“Let us go out into the balcony, my dearest Anaïs,” he says, wrapping his arm around my waist. “We shall find more privacy there, where thou shall need not whisper these sweet nothings that make my heart flutter.”

The second we set foot outside, hidden from view, I let go and step away from him.

“Thanks,” I say before taking a much needed sip of champagne. “That man is green with envy, it was insufferable. By the way, I hate roses,” I chuckle, remembering the nickname he gave me.

“But thy beauty is that of the most lovely flower. Besides, it is always my pleasure to aid a damsel in distress,” he smiles, and I roll my eyes. A damsel in distress? Please, I practically dragged him here.

I look inside to make sure no one is watching, and proceed to set my glass on the stone railing and lift the hem of my dress, this time to grab the box of cigarillos tied to my left leg. Shakespeare observes me in silence, and shakes his head when I offer one. I light mine and lean on the balustrade, inhaling a deep puff of smoke.

“Thou art full of surprises, Anaïs,” he finally speaks. “I knew when I laid eyes upon thee that thou art not an ordinary woman.” I perk up and look at him.

“Did le Comte not tell you? I’m from the 21st century.”

“I was aware of thou being a guest of his, but he neglected to mention thou hadst traveled through time as well,” he says, his mismatched eyes shining with curiosity. They almost look like they’re glowing, like a cat’s. He gives me a tilted smile. “Thou art quite the actress, I must say.”

I playfully take a bow, stifling a laugh.

“You’re not too bad yourself. Although I should expect nothing less, from the great Bard of Avon himself,” I say, lifting the cigarillo to my lips. I thoughtfully look out from the balcony and breathe out the smoke before turning to face him again, my eyes narrowed. “Did you write ‘The Taming of the Shrew’ as a tragedy or a comedy?”

“A tragedy,” he answers immediately, and a satisfied smile grows on my face.

“Carlos owes me 50 pounds.” He tilts his head at my celebratory statement. “I just won a bet against a friend,” I explain. “There is a lot of debate in the future about how the play is supposed to be interpreted. The general consensus is that it’s a comedy. My friend Carlos studies literature, and he thinks the misogyny portrayed is just a product of its time, but I always thought you were making a point. Same for ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Isn’t that one a comedy?”

“Of course, what else could it be?” he laughs.

“See? They got everything backwards.” I sip my champagne. “Two literal children commit suicide after knowing each other for... what, like three days? Yet people still see it as the epitome of romance. I don’t get it.”

“Most people lacketh the insight to see what thou see, it appears. Which is why I only base my plays on those whom are extraordinary, for I have lost interest in the unremarkable dealings of lesser gents.” He pauses and glances at the ballroom. “It soundeth like Mozart hath ended his performance.”

He’s right, the music has stopped. I put out my cigarillo and return the box to its place under my dress.

“I better go before he starts looking for me. I enjoyed our talk, William.” I smile and excuse myself with a nod before heading back inside.

I discard my glass on a nearby table when spot him in the crowd, receiving the praises of a small group of people. Were it not for his striking white hair, I don’t think I would have recognized him. He’s acting like a completely different person.

“I do not deserve your kind words, monsieur,” he tells one of the men, the same one with the beard that went on the stage before. I assume he is the host of the ball. He puts his arm around my back when I enter the circle. “This is my companion, Anaïs Bertran,” he introduces me with a charming smile I did not think he was capable of.

“Pleasure to meet you, mademoiselle Bertran,” he greets me, taking my hand when I hold it out. By now, I have learned the basics of social etiquette in this period. “When I heard you were a guest of my dear friend Saint Germain I could not wait to have you here,” he tells me. I guess ‘Guillaume’ filled him in on some details. “Oh, how rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself! Pardon me, mademoiselle. Marcel Rossignol, at your disposal.”

“Thank you for inviting me, monsieur Rossignol,” I say with a polite smile. “Tonight has been lovely so far”

“I am glad to hear that. It is about to get even better. I trust you like waltz?”

Before I can answer, the small band that now takes up the stage begins playing, and ‘Wolfram Theophilus Perti’ extends his hand for me to take, to the delight of the group, who observe us in fascination.

“Will you dance with me, Anaïs?”

“It would be my pleasure, Wolf.” I take his hand and he guides me to the center of the ballroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear I just saw a young lady swoon, and I can’t help but quietly agree with the sentiment. With his insufferably haughty attitude kept in check, Mozart seems to be quite the charmer. Not to mention how incredibly beautiful he is.

He leads effortlessly, and I follow his impeccably coordinated steps with his hand on my waist and mine on his shoulder. The dance itself is easy, like skating without the wheels. Once he knows I can keep up, he twirls us into increasingly elaborate moves, carefully avoiding other couples that have joined us.

“I am surprised you haven’t tripped yet,” he says, suddenly reminding me who my dance partner is.

“God, you’re the worst.”

He sends me on a spin with incredible speed, which I interpret as retaliation for my remark. This is his passive aggressive way of challenging me.

“Where did you learn to dance like this?” I ask once we slow down.

“My father was always strict and obsessed with perfection. Socializing is part of being a musician, especially when the aristocracy is involved. I hate it with a passion, but I do what I have to. For the music.”

“Oh.” This is the most he’s ever talked to me, and I don’t really know how to respond. Before I can think of something to say, he ends our brief conversation by spinning me around once again.

By the time the song ends, I need to catch my breath. Mozart’s surprising agility is incredibly hard to keep up with, and I am exhausted from the effort it took to prove him wrong and avoid stepping on his feet. It was undeniably fun, however, and I enjoyed the challenge. The next song is slower, which provides a much needed break for my concentration and an excellent opportunity to keep talking. I am intrigued by this beautiful man, and his cold demeanor just makes me want to tear down his walls even more.

“I like how passionate you are about what you do,” I tell him. “I wish I was more like you in that sense.” I mean every word of it. Mozart is so devoted to his music that he has become one with it, to the point of using it as his language. During the week and a half that I have stayed at the mansion, I couldn’t help but notice how his emotions are so clearly displayed through the songs he plays. When I bring him hot chocolate, his melodies tend to become light and comforting. A few days ago, his music sheets flew out the window of his room. After I went to return them, the notes became fast and aggressive, because he was upset that the papers had become soiled from falling in the garden. What he feels is bare for all to hear, despite how emotionless he acts. One only needs to listen.

“Why?” he simply asks. It’s like he can’t understand what I am saying.

“What do you mean, why?” He just stares blankly at me as we keep dancing. At least he is no longer spinning until I get dizzy. “To have something to live for. To have a purpose,” I answer. To me, it’s obvious. “I’m just going through the motions, you know? Like waltz. I take the same steps every day, just to keep moving. I breathe, I eat, and I sleep. I water the flowers, I read... And all for what? I just feel like I keep waiting for something, but I have no idea what that is. I’ll be stuck in this pointless cycle until the day I die.”

I want to blame the champagne on an empty stomach, but to be fair, he’s the one who asked. After making me realize how tired I am of pretending, no less. Everything’s fine, I tell myself, ignoring every single thing that makes it not fine. In truth, I am merely surviving, keeping myself busy to forget how much I wish I could just... become a lump of moss, or something. That would be an easier existence. No consciousness, no problems.

“You sound like Jean.” I have no idea what that means, but I don’t bother to ask. “It’s not pointless... You make good chocolate.”

I chuckle at the compliment. This is the first positive thing Mozart has ever said to me. I look up at him as we dance, and am surprised to see him smile. It is so faint, but undoubtedly genuine this time, and the light tug at the corners of his mouth makes me feel better. I am starting to like him.

“That shall be my newfound purpose, then,” I joke, mirroring his smile. “Making you chocolate.”

The song comes to an end, and Mozart leads me away from the dance floor. He finds Rossignol and lets him know that we must leave, before thanking him for the evening. Though it is still early, I don’t complain. I think I want to get out of here too.

[angelhummel]

In honor of Darren’s birthday I just wanted to go on a long and personal rant about him. About how I’ve been following him from the start, what he means to me, that sort of thing. I’ll hide it under a cut to save you all from scrolling ten minutes to get past it!

I first became aware of Darren Criss in about August 2009. I was barely into my sophomore year of high school and one of my friends told me about a Harry Potter musical some people made and put up online. I was a huge fan of HP and musicals and my first response was “how has this been up for six weeks and I’m only just now hearing about it??” So of course I looked it up the second I could and devoured every minute of it. I even got my best friend to be as obsessed over it as I was. 

We went from being crazy about the musical to being crazy about the cast. I had bought sticker computer paper so I could print out my own stickers and we decorated our binders with them. One that was a collage of the whole cast, but several more of Darren because he was my favorite. (All the stickers weren’t Starkid related though, we weren’t quite that obsessive.) But we watched all their shows and playfully argued about which member was the cutest or which characters were better, all that good stuff.

She was the same friend that got me into Glee in the first place, so when we heard Darren was going to be on the show, of course we freaked out. We were tuning in every single week to see his beautiful face and hear his beautiful voice, just so we could meet back up at school the next day and gush about how great it was. And like I’ve said before, Kurt was my favorite character from the start. So seeing Darren embody this new character that was destined to get with Kurt, to be his best friend and soulmate and everything in between, it meant the world for me. I found myself tuning in more and more just to see what Kurt and Blaine were up to. Klaine is still, to this day, one of the most iconic, influential, game changing couples ever portrayed in media. They just were the show to me, and they’re a big part of why I’m still so involved in the fandom. 

Glee and Klaine are the only reasons I have friends now. It might sound a little sad, a little crazy, but it’s the truth. When my real life friends weren’t as obsessive as me anymore, I had to wade through the treacherous waters of anonymous online chats to find people who were. I connected to a handful of people from all over the world, and we went from roleplaying two fictional characters in love to getting to know one another and being real friends. (And still roleplaying fictional characters. Don’t judge me.)

When Darren went from Blaine to Hedwig, my admiration for him only expanded alongside the range in versatility of his roles. I’ll admit, when NPH starred in the Hedwig revival, I had no idea what it was. But one of my friends that I met online, he loved the musical. He got me listening to the soundtrack before I even knew the premise of it. I learned all the songs, watched the movie over and over. It quickly made its way up to being one of (if not my absolute favorite) musical. When we learned Darren would be taking over the role, we were ecstatic. 

So much so that I managed to convince my family to plan a trip to NY just so we could see the show (amongst other things). It remains to this day probably the best trip I’ve ever taken, mostly thanks in part to Darren. Getting to see him live was spectacular. He was so captivating, talented, all around amazing. He just disappeared into the role and it was mesmerizing to see, especially coming off of only seeing him as Blaine or a singing Harry Potter. The way he worked the whole crowd, even his improvised moments on stage- it all just lent itself to creating the best experience I’d ever had in a theater. 

I saw the show with my sister and my ex (now and at the time) and we waited outside at the stage door, something I’d only done a couple of times before. And sadly, I was and probably still am the type to freeze up in a situation like this, so I hardly got to say anything to Darren as he came by signing autographs. I had two playbills in hand for him to sign (one for me and one for my friend who got me into the show, because I knew he’d never get to see it), as well as a poster for me. I wanted to tell him to personalize one signature for my friend (Mike) just so it would be extra special, but I couldn’t get the words out. Darren signed what I was holding and moved on, though he did linger near us a little longer because he was talking to my ex about his outfit. He said that he admired him getting dressed up in a suit and bowtie, because no one really got dressed up for the theater anymore. After he really moved on, my ex said he felt like he could just lay down in the street and die because Darren Criss told him he liked his outfit.

But I was stubborn and determined to get the personalized autograph, so I stayed behind. We waited until Darren had gone through everyone who’d come from the show, everyone who’d just wandered up on the street for a chance to see him. He was almost on his way to the car when I reached out over the little barrier and touched his arm to get his attention. I handed him the playbill and he looked confused that I was handing him something he’d already signed. I managed to explain it was for my friend Mike, and I wanted him to make it out to him. So Darren added a “Hi, Mike!” on the front, and even drew an arrow to his name as if Mike wouldn’t know who had written that. I thanked him profusely and was still kind of in shock just from seeing him and actually touching him, and that’s definitely the best encounter with a celebrity I’d ever had. I said like two whole sentences to him, way to go, me!

Darren has truly been a household name in my family since AVPM. My sister and I watched every Starkid production several times. My whole family sat down to watch Glee every week, and then did the same for ACS. When Girl Most Likely came out, my dad took me to go see it (and the closest theater playing it was over an hour away). My parents planned a whole trip to NY just so my sister and I could see Hedwig. And on the day when the LMDC tour was the closest it would be to where I lived, my dad woke me up that morning and said “Want to go see Darren and Lea tonight?” and then drove me to see the concert. 

For over a decade now, I’ve been watching Darren’s star on the rise. He’s tackled about every single project a celebrity could tackle. Television, film, music videos, his own music (solo and in a band!), Broadway (musicals and now a play!) awards galore, and, well, lots of paid advertisement. It’s fine, he can get that coin however he wants. 

I keep saying he should be doing more. The projects he’s tackling now are small potatoes compared to what he should and could be doing. What he deserves to be doing. But at the end of the day, I know this is just the tip of the iceberg for him. There is so much more to come. Look at where he was ten years ago compared to now. And just imagine where he’ll be in ten years compared to now. 

It makes me so unbelievably happy to know that I’ve been in this talented human being’s corner from the beginning. It means a lot to me that I’ve actually got to watch someone go from basically a nobody to one of the most talented people of a generation (and actually be recognized for that talent!) It’s just an amazing feeling, and I’ve never had another celebrity that I felt like this about. Darren truly is an amazing human being. Talented, mesmerizing, magical, charismatic, kind, funny, versatile. He’s so much more than just some celebrity crush to me, and I couldn’t be prouder of him. 

I hope he has an amazing birthday today, and I hope he knows there is so much more to come. I’m going to enjoy watching where he goes from here. I’m so proud of him, I love him, Happy Birthday Darren! As if you or anyone else read this whole thing :P

[gloriousprofessorhan]

Cousins

Kai is your cousin and he likes you.

(re-upload ‘Cousins’ on AFF 2018)

... Event the day has to give up for the night

You met him for the first time after a while when you were 19, and years after that it still amaze you how you’re actually cousins with him. Kim Jongin, national contemporer dancer who is very well-known.

You remember saw him dancing one day, when your parents brought to his show, he moved easy like a breeze, he caught your eyes since then.

He’s tall and handsome. He got you hooked by his smile but after know him more, his shy and adorable personality is what makes him even more interesting, but you know, you and him are just cousins.

But he’s always kind. His kindness and affections got you confuse sometimes. But it doesn’t stop you and him to be one of the closest cousins among the family.

Happy birthday!

He texted you one day, on your 24th birthday and got you a little present, he knew you just start your new studio as a interior designer after three years working at a big architecture studio.

He went to your office and adoring all the corner, saying that he envied every architect and interior expert because they will able to live in such a trendy places.

Your office occupied the second floor of a small two floor building in the city center. It has indoor area with enough sunlight from the glass wall, and it has a spacey outdoor area.

When he came to your office, you knew all of your workers—especially girls, are looking at him like somekind of delicious meals. He gave you a simple bouquet of flower he picked from the flower shop in the corner of the street. You knew because you walked pass it everyday, and he gave you a small air humidifier for the office.

You said thanks while gave him a light hug which he holds longer than you planned. You like his hugs because you’re taller than average girls and he obviously taller than you and you like how you burried inside his chest.

Yup, you and him got th good genes from the family. You both tall and attractive.

“Thought Kai was your boyfriend.” Joy, your friend said one day. Kai is his stage name.

“No, he’s a cousin.” You replied.

“No wonder you both got this similiarity based on looks.”

You smirks.

“Is he single? He’s very famous, I bet even idols wants to date him.” Joy continues.

“Maybe.” You shrugs, “but I think he’s single.”

Joy rubbed her chin, “do you ever think of having a cousin in law like me?”

You laughed then shouts no.

You only met him when there’s a family gathering or when you decided to go on his shows. And tonight you’re going to his shows with your other cousins. Your big family is very close to each other, you had annual holiday together, and often see each other during break. You just didn’t get to meet Kai for years because you study abroad and Kai also study abroad. 

You got to the backstage and congartulates him in person, so were the other cousins. You kissed his cheek and he kissed you back, the whole family is usually do this cheek to cheek kiss but he always kiss you lip-to-cheek and you’re always okay with that, even tho that made your heart flutters.

Then a girl came closer and greet you all. Later he introduce her as his girlfriend. You didn’t pay attention to her name, all you knew was you got this strange pinch feeling in your heart.

You tried your best not to look upset because he was observing you longer than expected. And when the group picture happened, he was beside you, casually rest his arm on you shoulder and pull you closer.

You knew his girlfriend is looking.

-

Kai moved to another city when he was chosen as the core team for Modern Ballet and Contemporary competition. And whenever he’s back to Seoul he’ll contact you, just like tourist who asking for meeting old friend who is a local. But you always say yes to his invitation.

The meetings will only be dinner, daily life updates, exchanging jokes and laughter. Nothing more.

“Drive safe okay?” he said while walks you to the parking lot.

“Okay!” you smiles.

He patted your hair, “I’m going back to Osaka tomorrow.”

“Want me to drive you to the airport?”

“Would you?” he grinned.

You nodded.

“Okay, my plane is at 11 am, so… pick me up at 8?”

You nodded again and he pull you to a hug, “see you tomorrow morning.” He kissed the top of your head. And you feel an extra pound in your heart.

You wonder if he feels the same.

On the way to the airport he was talking about his girlfriend, because you asked. He said she’s a model, a someone he knew from a photoshot for a product. She’s sweet and nice, not to mentioned she’s tall because she’s a model.

“You like tall girls?” you asked while driving.

“Yes.” He nodded, “I think her height is same as yours.”

“Hahaha… are you obsessing with me?”

he paused, “huh?”

You instantly felt ashamed, why would you think that way about him? He’s your cousins and he might only see you that way while you’re accusing all his affections as an obsession. How embarassing!

“hahaha… no, no, sorry, I was just joking! Why are you stunned like that?!” you trying to sound casual.

He chuckled before joking, “I was almost fainting, thought how you found out that I’m obsessed with you.”

You laughed with him. 

His relationship with his girlfriend looking stronger as he  introduce her to his family and brought her to some family occasion. And you’re always be happy for him. Even tho you still didn’t really pay attention to her name and whatever she’s doing.

And then, right at the end of the winter you met this guy, he’s also tall and handsome, he’s a client from your old workplace, he met you again in an event and recognized you. And from the simple conversation, you both are getting closer, and early spring, he asked you to be his girl and you said yes.

Kai knew about it few months later during the family vacation, “how’s he? I really have to know him, I need to know if he’s good enough for you!” he said in a cute squinty eyes and you can’t help but squeeze his cheek and kiss it.

“You’re like the cutest baby brother ever!”

Yes, he’s one year younger than you.

Unexpectedly Kai is very close to your boyfriend, they talked about many things during their first meeting and Kai became your boyfriend favorite person among your other cousins.

“He’s a famous dancer but he’s so humble… did you know that his work out is running? Just like me.” You boyfriend said.

“Everyone’s work out is running.”

“But he ran for marathon, did you know that?”

No, you didn’t know.

“You ran for marathon?” you asked Kai one day when he stop by your house to see your older brother’s daughter.

He was playing with your niece and shook his head, “I did, one time, but gosh… my chest is about to explode! I hate running.”

You wonder why he’s trying hard to be close to your boyfriend.

“Hey, you gonna join the family summer holiday later?” he asked.

You nodded, “yeah, I think it’s a great moment to introduce my boyfriend to the whole family.”

-

Your family loves your boyfriend, he’s a nice guy, smart and settle. And he’s super easy going so everyone is having fun talking to him.

“Where’s Kai?” he asked.

“His parents said he’ll be here tomorrow.” You said while lying beside him in the room you shared with him.

And the next day, just before lunch, you’re lazying around the bed while your boyfriend and the rest of the family is having a fun outdoor activity, you saw someone standing at your door way.

“Hey.” 

You lift your head and saw Kai.

“Hey, youuu…” you sat up but he threw himself to the bed beside you. You saw gloom on his face. “What’s up?”

“She broke up with me.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, “oh… no…” you murmured.

You let him lying on your arm while telling you why.

“I can’t blame her tho… it’s a hard long distance relationship, and also she met many other male models which way more good looking than me… nothing I can do about that.”

“Look at you,” you said, you’re super good looking too… tall and handsmome, you gotta meet someone new soon.” You pull him closer and he snuggle further.

“I want to have a girlfriend like you.” He mumbled and you knew your guard crumbled.

“Still obsessed with me?” you asked, this time, no joke on your voice.

He paused for a while before saying, “I’m always obsessed with you…”

Then the kiss happened, the forbidden kiss because, damn, he’s your mother’s sister son! Your closest cousins!

But his lips keep moving between yours, his palm creeping up caressing your cheek. It was soft and smooth, it was plumpy, it was going in rhythm… 

Every cells inside your body grew but you refuse to awaken from this reverie. If it is. But you and him knew it was real.

After minutes of long kisses, where his hands keep holding you in a loving way, someone gotta break it before somebody else get into the cottage.

He’s staring at you in an odd way, a silent arguments heard inside your head, the pound in his chest transferred to you palm that still resting on his board chest.

You rose from the bed and made your way outside.

“I like you a lot.” He said.

And you didn’t replied. You walked really fast to meet your boyfriend.

-

Cousins, aunts, and uncles saying goodbye to each other. Warm hugs and promises to meet each other again fills the air. You hugged everyone except Kai because you didn’t saw him ever since. But when everyone starts entering their own car you saw him brought a small travel bag on his hand, a van parked in the parking lot and you saw his manager came out.

“You’re going back to Osaka right away?” you asked, your boyfriend heading to his car and it’s only two of you left.

He nods.

“Good luck.” You said.

He nodded again.

“Alright then.”

He was looking at you, “Okay, see ya around.” He murmured and you tip toeing to reach out his cheek, kiss it like usual, a statement that nothing is changed.

He leaned down and kiss your cheek to before send you off to your boyfriend’s car.

“Was it something common in your family to kiss each other like that?” your boyfriend asked you.

“L-like what?” you can’t help but stutter because you’re afraid he might saw you two in the cottage.

“Like this.” He kissed your cheek and you chuckles, nervously chuckling but turn into something more relieve because he didn’t see you two in the cottage.

“Yup, that’s kind of… habit.” You replied, “we’re very close, me and all cousins are super close, you wouldn’t imagine.”

“But only Kai kissed you like that.” He said.

“Because…” you pretend to be busy changing the radio station so you got few seconds to think, “he’s like a baby. He was the only child in his family, he doesn’t have any siblings, and he spent his childhood practicing his skill… he practically lonely, so when we met and grew up together, he always think of me as his noona… and always asking me to baby him.” You smiles, hoping all the explanation make sense. 

“Is it weird if I’m a bit jealous? I know he’s your cousin and he’s fun to be with… but he’s handsome like heck.”

You laughed, “yes, it’s weird to be jealous about him, he’s my baby brother.” And you remember the kiss you had with Kai yesterday. “a-and… he likes you like his own hyung.”

“Right.” Your boyfriend agreed and smiled.

-

I’m going to Osaka tomorrow.

You texted Kai and he called you.

“I’ll take you to the best restaurant!” his voice is cheerful as usual.

“I’m not going there for holiday, I have some sites to visit.” You replied.

“But you will have time to eat, won’t you?”

You chuckled, “of course.”

And the day came, you’re in Osaka working for a new project. You met Kai in your third day there, and as promised he brought you to a nice small restaurant.

“The katsu here is the best you’re gonna have.” He said.

And the conversations flow like it used to. He’s still smiling while looking at you talking, still telling you funny stories, his activities, and the hardships of being in core team of dancing competition. 

No sign of girlfriends. Maybe he decided to be focus on his career first.

He drove you to your hotel and you know inviting him in is not a good idea. You might be overthinking but after what happened before, you can’t trust him and yourself.

“You usually invite me in.” he said after you tell him goodnight, “oh not only inviting me, but you usually told me to stay because you’re afraid sleeping in a new place.”

You can’t say anything because he was right.

“Is it because of what I did to you?” he asked, “you don’t have to worry that I’d kiss you again in the hotel room because I can kiss you anywhere if I want it, okay?” he sounds irittated.

“It’s not that,” you said, “it’s not only you I can’t trust, it’s also me.”

“So, you… like it too?” he asked.

You lift your gaze to his level, “yes, but we better leave it there because we can’t like it.”

“Because we’re cousins?”

“Yes.” You made your voice to be as assertive as possible.

He stop for a moment, “yeah, okay.”

He’s annoyed, you knew.

-

Kai kissed your cheek longer than usual when he drove you to the airport, and hug you like he would never saw you again.

“I love you…” he murmured.

“You know I love you too.”

“I still hope you can love me as a man, not your baby brother…”

You pull yourself off of him and look up on him, “I loved you as a man… but,”

He tilt his head, looking confused.

“Everything has to give up on something.” You continued, “even the day has to give up for the night.” You reach his hand, “you’ll find someone exactly like you’ve been searching for… soon.”

“I hope everything going well between you and him.” He suddenly talk about your boyfriend, “he’s a good guy, I really like talking to him… he’s handsome, and head over heel over you… you’ll be happy with him.”

You couldn’t help but feel warm inside your eyes, “thank you.”

-

Your boyfriend proposed you few months after Osaka, and one year after, here you are, walking on the aisle in a pretty white dress, holding your father’s hand.

Wide smile decorating your face as you saw familiar faces, and stopped to the smiling face at the end of the pews. Kai.

Beside him is a beautiful girl, this time, you’re paying attention to her name because you like her. Her name is Krystal, and American-Korean singer he met at the opening of the Olympic, and yes, you were right, he met someone he’s been searching for in that girl. You could see it from the way he couldn’t stop talking about her when he called you, and you’re happy for him.

You smile at him and he gave you a thumb up. You both knew, that giving up doesn’t mean that your weak, it shows that you’re strong. And in this case, you’re just being true-to-life.

-end-

[blazehedgehog]

On certain shows, such as Animaniacs and Tiny Toons, there is a sort of contempt with censorship reflected in its characters. This got me thinking that writers probably intensely dislike the regulation of their work. Therefore I guess they just want to have freedom from this regulation. Would it be better that the writers are allowed free reign and write whatever they want, no matter what they are working with?

I mean, they totally can do that now, thanks to the internet. Adult Swim shows a version of Venture Brothers where words get bleeped and nudity is blurred, but if you want there are fully uncensored versions of those episodes on different streaming services.

The implications of a question like this are not lost on me, and I’d like to think you aren’t simply JUST asking about Animaniacs and Tiny Toons either, but are coming from this from a perspective of censorship as a whole.

As such, and this may be a controversial statement to some, but I think TV censorship is fine. Usually, anyway. Obviously shows like Animaniacs and Tiny Toons were railing against censorship, and that’s because you occasionally hear horror stories over the years about bizarre, specific problems a censor will have over something genuinely harmless. Like, for example, censors having a problem with Nickelodeon’s Angry Beavers telling someone to “shut up” because it might inspire kids to be rude. Or the story going around about a single British TV censor that railed against nunchucks. Sometimes it is legitimately dumb and unnecessary.

But TV censorship does a lot of good, too. I mentioned just a week or two ago that I am (or was, it’s complicated) pretty squeamish when it comes to excessive gore in horror movies. 

One night in 2013, a local TV channel aired Return of the Living Dead. Now, normally, that’s an extremely violent movie with lots of hardcore language and even full frontal nudity. It’s a kind of a heavy metal movie. And, sight unseen, it’s a movie I’d normally never consider watching, because there are parts that are pretty gross. People could tell me, “oh it’s not so bad” and I probably still wouldn’t watch it, because I don’t like excessive gore, and I wouldn’t want to risk it on principal alone.

But they put it on TV. And not cable, this was over-the-air, network television, the stuff you get for free as long as you plug in an antenna. Even though it aired past midnight, they still had to do their best to cut out the worst, most gross parts.

And in that context, I was willing to watch the movie. It’s legendary zombie cinema and I’m a fan of seeing TV edits of “adult” movies (I saw part of a really great TV edit of Fargo once that replaced all the swearing, it was hilarious).

Through that, through this censored-for-TV edit of a very violent 1980′s horror classic, I could appreciate it. And I thought it was really good! I enjoyed watching it enough that I actually ended up seeking out the uncensored version.

None of that would have ever happened without the censored version existing.

That’s the thing a lot of people are losing sight of in the modern “omg censorship!!!” debate: there are actually acceptable forms of censorship. It can be totally okay to censor something! Not everything always has to be rude, nasty, and uncensored! Sometimes, you even get the rare case where censorship is better!

Take anime like Ghost Stories or Samurai Pizza Cats. In both of those cases, during the process of dubbing those anime, the original Japanese scripts were lost and the American production studios got to play it by ear and make up whatever they wanted. You could absolutely spin that as a case of them censoring the original shows, but it’s also transformative in a way that made those shows more fun to watch. A lot fewer people would remember Samurai Pizza Cats if it was a straight translation of “Kyatto Ninden Teyandee.”

What about Animaniacs and Tiny Toons? What do you imagine an unfettered version of those shows would actually be like? If they didn’t have to write around the censors, would those shows be automatically improved? We may never really know, but at the same time, that censorship was part of their sense of humor. If you took that away, isn’t that in itself also a form of censorship?

A good example of comparison here I think is Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, which is the show that more or less launched Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. The original run of Space Ghost ran just as part of Cartoon Network’s late night programming, when it didn’t have any kind of special name. Cartoon Network had just relaunched the “Space Ghost Brand” through something called Cartoon Planet, which was a block of classic cartoons hosted by Space Ghost, Moltar, Zorak, and Brak. In between cartoons they’d respond to reader mail or do skits. It was weird, a little random, but 100% kid friendly and clean.

Coast to Coast was originally just an extension of that, but through the lens of a late night talk show like The Tonight Show or whatever. Space Ghost would interview celebrities and ask them wacky questions. Early episodes of Coast to Coast were very close in tone to Cartoon Planet, but eventually Williams Street (then known as Ghost Planet Industries) started pushing the boundaries of the show, thanks to the late night slot. It got darker, and weirder, and creepier, but they were still kind of beholden to certain Cartoon Network censorship standards…

…Until the launch of Adult Swim. Here’s a block of programming that spent the first 3-5 years of its existence literally yelling through a megaphone that their late night content wasn’t for children. Williams Street was given a chance to write their own standards, for… well, adults. Space Ghost relaunched, and now unshackled from Cartoon Network’s kid-focused censors, got even darker and weirder. They can swear now! Zorak isn’t just Space Ghost’s foil anymore, now he worships SATAN! This isn’t kids stuff like Cartoon Planet! Isn’t that COOL?

And frankly? I don’t think the show was better for it. There is a point where Coast to Coast gets too edgy for its own good and it loses its charm. There’s a sweet spot to the series, around season 5, where they’re pushing the boundaries but haven’t tipped over the edge just yet. Making the show uncensored (relatively speaking) did not really improve its quality in my eyes.

What you call “censorship” was an ingrained part of what made these shows so good and taking that away does not guarantee any increase in quality. Limitations foster creative thinking. It’s not about the vulgarity they couldn’t do, it’s how they worked around that vulgarity that we remember.

Do not become so obsessed with what entertainment you think you’re “losing” that you forget what we’ve already gained by filling that void with something else.

There are obviously situations in which censorship can be very upsetting and even dangerous. Censorship can absolutely be used as a weapon against the people. But that is not universally applicable in all scenarios. The idea that nothing can ever be censored is, in itself, also a weapon. As always, everything must be considered in moderation.

[stevieang]

May I Have This Dance? Chapter 5/?

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston RPF x Plus-Size Reader Insert

Word Count: 3600

Warnings: If too much sweet fluffiness isn’t your thing, then keep on going. This is full-on no-holds-barred fluff, though this chapter throws in some EXPLICIT CONTENT - smut, language, situations, etc. DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 years old.

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Summary: Two of your best friends are getting married and you have the honor of singing at their wedding.  At the reception you’re approached by a famous friend of the groom, Tom Hiddleston.  Much polite flirting ensues. Here’s the “more to come.” Enjoy!

A/N: Hey y’all!  Thank you so much for your time, your kind words, and all the good stuff you send my way! I am loving this fic now, and though this chapter took me a long time to start, it flowed once I did.  This chapter had a rough start, but then once I just wrote, no filtering, it came to me.  Of course, that meant a hella lot of editing, but that’s sorta my jam. :)

Now that was different.  A woman he was attracted to and wanted to spend more time with would not accept a gift from him.  He was pissed when she refused, worried when they didn’t talk, and understanding once they had. Guess he’d have to employ one of his weakest skills - patience.  Something - instinct, gut feeling, mojo - told him she was worth waiting for.                      _________________________________ That night, instead of talking, you got to work on a personal project you’d been putting off.  A pile of pictures had been in a box, under your bed, since you moved. When you put them in sequence and tucked the last one into the now-finished album, you felt complete.  As you looked over the pictures of you and John with and without dear friends and family, you felt peaceful. When you put the book away, grabbed your laptop and credit card and began to investigate flights and hotel prices, there was nothing but giddy excitement.  

Giddy morphed into deeply-rooted nervousness as you proceeded through customs at Heathrow.  Within a few days you were able to secure a flight and a place to stay in London that didn’t break the bank and keep all the plans secret - you took that as a sign you were doing the right thing.  You were disappointed that opening night tickets for Tom’s new play, “Betrayal,” were sold out, but you were able to secure good seats to the Saturday evening performance, which gave you a bit of time to get dolled up and obsess about everything.  You were almost certain that Tom would be ecstatic, but a tiny voice poked through your surety and planted insidious seedlings.

The dressing room was filled with flowers and well wishes.  Tom read each one and made sure his assistant knew to whom he should send thanks.  Reading your note was different - he couldn’t pass it on. It filled him with an urge to see you, to nuzzle your neck, holding your luscious body to his.  Goddamnit, this was harder than he thought it’d be. A quick “Thank you, love” text later, and the 5-minute-til-curtain announcement pulled him into the world of the show.

_________________________________

You read the text thanking you for the flowers, and felt ridiculously proud.  You obviously hadn’t given anything away, even remembering to tell him you couldn’t speak on the phone for the day you’d be traveling, as you had “plans.” You were impressed that your description of said plans was sufficiently believable so as not to prompt further inquiries. The day of the premiere you refused to let him think you forgot him, all the while itching to spring your surprise early.

_______________________________

He was supercharged, high off the success of the first night.  There were the usual opening night slip ups, but nothing too major. The chemistry between the three actors was palpable and worked in his favor, as the anchor.  He wasn’t the sexy lothario in this one, he was the wronged husband. He wasn’t the betrayer, but the one who was betrayed, and it felt fucking phenomenal. But….he missed you.  Missed talking and catching up at night. Missed hearing that little gasp when you answered. Missed the way your voice washed over him, soothed him. He was beyond grateful to his friends and family for showing up, and between the show and the after party it was an extremely satisfying and happy night.  Now, at home, alone, when you’d usually be talking, he felt your absence. When his text alert sounded after a brief repose from the lovely congratulations and messages of support, he wasn’t expecting what he read.

You: Congratulations!!! I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you and wishing I was there.

Tom: Thank you darling, that means a lot.

You: Do you want to tell me how it went? I understand if you’re exhausted and can’t, but I am very eager to hear how brilliant you were.

Tom was always surprised how good it felt to receive your compliments.  They were sincere and sweet and sometimes exaggerated, but he never doubted you meant them.

Tom: I am a bit tired, but I’ll say that I was quite pleased.  Zawe and Charlie were brilliant and the audience reacted in all the right places.  I remembered my lines and no one fell off the stage, so a good first night.

You: I’m sure you were all amazing, I’m so happy things went as you’d hoped. I snuck outside to text you, so I’ve got to get back. Just wanted to let you know you were on my mind.

Tom: Thank you, love.  You are often on my mind.  I do wish you were here, but I understand why you can’t be.  Watch for the reviews online, ok?

Tom drifted off after saying goodnight, but you were wound up, thinking about the next day and hoping it would be as well received as his first-night performance.                                          _______________________________

When the nerves hit, they hit hard.  As your hair was coiffed, your makeup applied, and your leather jacket draped over your black-and-silver outfit, you liked what you saw. The opening-night reviews had been glowing, and your ticket was already worth more than what you paid for it. Honestly, seeing the production was a lucky byproduct of traveling to see Tom, but you had a hard time focusing on any of it as you cabbed it to the theatre and were shown to your seat.

A million scenarios ran through your head.  Would he see you from the stage? (You were close but not that close).  Would you text him and give him an obliquely-worded hint? (He didn’t look at his phone during the show).  Would you wait for him to exit the theatre at the stage door? (God, these hypotheticals were making you nauseous. Enough.). As the curtain rose to more-than-polite applause, you felt your smile growing as Tom made his entrance and immediately owned the stage.

He was magnificent.  He used his body, his voice - everything he had to transform into the character, to become a completely believable cuckold who was stripped of loyalty from and to the woman he once loved and the friend he once held dear.  Your nerves were gone as you forgot about Tom and just saw his character, Robert. You’d experienced live theatre before, but never like this. Your heart broke for the characters, you wished they could experience their lives in the moment - with raw, real emotion instead of being so….reserved, so….closed off.  

When the final line was spoken and the audience stood and roared its approval for the cast, you continued to think about Tom’s power, his talent, and how much you wanted to experience it first hand, in every way possible.  The show was an aphrodisiac, filling your mind with possibilities and fantasies and your body with jolts of electricity. As the ushers encouraged people to exit, you took out your phone without hesitation.

You: Tom, you were magnificent tonight.  You were raw and powerful and sexy and commanding.  Thank you for being as good at your job as you are, it was a wonderful evening.

You didn’t expect a response, at least not immediately, so you grabbed a drink and some dinner at a nearby pub, thought about the show, and returned to your hotel, lit up with excitement, enjoyment, and expectation.  The clock was taunting you, keeping you mindful of each minute after the time Tom usually texted. You took an almost-hot shower, washing the beautifying lacquer off your hair and face and body, which helped settle you, and flipped through the TV channels, unable to remember anything you saw.

Then.  Your alert tone.

Tom: ????? Did you see the reviews????

You: Yes, I read them last night as you suggested - congratulations to the entire cast and crew - you were all roundly lauded.  After tonight, I can see why.

Tom: Wait…..

You weren’t surprised when the ringer went off as you started typing.

“Are you saying you were at the show tonight? My show? In London?”  You had to smile at his increasingly specific criterion, ensuring that you and he referred to the same place and event.

“Yes.  Tonight.  Your show.  London. It was unbelievable, Tom.”  Waiting for him to speak felt interminable.  You heard him breathe at the other end of the line, and would’ve missed what he said next if you hadn’t focused intently and shut off every other nearby source of noise.

“Didn’t you want to see me afterwards?” You gasped your answer.

“Of course I did, but it’s not like security would have let me backstage, and this isn’t like a 1920’s opera house where I could send a handwritten note by courier, alerting you to my presence - you told me your phone is off until you leave the theatre.” You heard doors closing, clicks, and street noise.

“Where do I tell the driver to go?”

_________________________________________

She was here, in London.  She saw the show tonight and she loved it.  She said he was sexy and raw and powerful. For the second time tonight, his adrenaline raced.  As soon as he read her text, deliberate thought vanished with just her in its place.

_________________________________________

The nerves were back, but this time with a giddy edge.  You considered changing back into your super cute theatre outfit, but decided real was better, and real was you in your pajamas with wavy hair at your shoulders and no makeup.  Well, maybe a smear of clear lip gloss and deodorant, just to make sure.

_________________________________________

Tom: I’m here

You: Room 607

Your breath caught when he knocked, hard.  His head was down, his hands in pockets as you looked through the peephole and unlocked the deadbolt.

You stared.  He stared back, through you, his eyes predatory, his body tense.  

“May I come in?” you both chuckled at him having to ask.  You looked down as you reached for his hand and followed his movement as he kissed it.  You walked backwards until you were far enough inside to close the door and silently hugged him, feeling his chin find its way to your shoulder as your hand ran through his curls.  His arms encircled your lower back with a strength that made you feel so safe, helped you know you were in the right place. His whispers sent shivers down your spine.

“You’re here. I can’t believe you’re here.” He laid tiny pecks along the top of your shoulder and shifted so they could trail up your neck and behind your ears.  “I missed you so much, darling. I could scarcely admit it to myself, but you knew.”

Your hands laced behind his neck as you smiled into his kiss.  You expected passionate groping, but this was soft, sweet, tender.  

You walked him over to the couch, “I missed you, too.  All the steps to get here just sort of happened, so I went with it.”  He smiled, his long fingers lightly brushing along your forehead, randomly dropping delicate kisses along the way, the whisper giving way to a grumbling rasp.  “I’m glad you went with it.”

You turned around and leaned over the back of the couch, your arm outstretched.  You giggled when his arms remained around your middle; his lips intermittently kissing your neck.  When he spotted what you were holding, the famous Cheshire Cat Tom Hiddleston smize lit up his entire face before pulling you in for a kiss that left you breathless.

“Want an autograph?” Your red face may have darkened another shade as he gently took it the Playbill from your hand.

“Actually, this is for you.”  His forehead reactively scrunched up and his laugh softened as you pulled him to sit with you. His face held questions until he realized what was inside - a sort-of scrapbook of your journey to get to that moment - mini pictures of you holding your ticket on the way from the US, going all touristy in London, and smiling while kissing the cheek of the huge poster of him outside the theatre.  He closed it and, without looking away, found your hand, lacing his fingers between yours. You turned the program over so he could read your words and watched as he read, sighed, and closed his eyes.

After a moment, you bent forward and raised your eyes in a silent question.  When his opened, tears balanced on the lower lids. You quickly placed your hands on his cheek and kissed him.

“Thank you, darling.  This is something my ancestors will swoon over when they find it among my most prized treasures.”  You laughed - at his memory for your conversations, at his sentiment, at his sweetness. You leaned back and encouraged him to put his head on your lap, where you sat peaceably, your fingers running through his curls and his absentmindedly running over your thighs, while you talked and laughed, ate takeout and kissed.

“Darling, wake up, come to bed.”  You were disoriented when Tom gently shook you awake and offered you his hand.  The room was dark and you weren’t yet familiar enough to navigate to the bedroom without a light.  You yelped when your feet and legs were run through with pins and needles, but eventually they subsided and you sank into the king-size bed, Tom pulling the covers over you and kissing your forehead.  That woke you up.

“Tom, please stay.  Please, there’s plenty of room and I think we’re both sufficiently tired to guarantee no funny business.  I give you my word I won’t make any untoward advances.” Even in the dark you could see his grin, and were relieved when he slipped back from the bathroom with his shorts and t-shirt on, keeping at least an arms length between you.  After a whispered “good night,” he was asleep, while you were very much awake with decidedly untoward thoughts running through your head.

You must have fallen asleep, because the streaming sunlight and your bladder were prompting your eyes to open and your body to get out of bed.  Tom slept, his face peaceful, his arm reaching out towards you. Morning business done, you started the electric tea kettle and bundled up in a sweater on the couch, looking out onto London.  

“What a beautiful sight to wake up to.”  You smiled to yourself as Tom made himself a cup of Earl Grey and sat down next to you, placing a kiss on your cheek.  You pulled your feet under you and fell in next to him, reveling in the warmth from his arm holding you close and his kisses on the top of your head.  The silence was easy and companionable, but it masked your jitters and edginess and awkwardness. Welcome back to your usual trifecta of feelings when you were uncomfortable.

You gently extricated yourself and stood close to the window, looking down at the big bustling city and sighed.  You didn’t notice him cross to the same window until he put a hand on your shoulder and gently turned you to face him.  

“It’s a bit early in the day to be sighing, dearest.  You ok?”

You were ok, really, but your small smile didn’t convince him of that.  You tried to sell it in the face of his unbelieving look.

“Yes, just tired I think.  All the traveling, excitement to surprise you, seeing you, the play….I could go on.” You couldn’t say what you were thinking, couldn’t tell him - clingy didn’t look good on anyone, so you tried walking away but he held firm, pulling you in for a languid, dreamy kiss.  Your sigh was different, this time full of satisfaction and pleasure. His eyes found yours as you practically glowed.

“Can I try one more tactic to solve this mystery?”  You face belied your suspicion, but you nodded your consent, irregardless.

He took your face in his hands and kissed you more passionately than he ever had while he walked his hands under the waistband of your pajamas.  His long fingers spread across the expanse of your ass, squeezing, rubbing, and eliciting a long, low moan. Your back arched as your arms circled tighter around his shoulders, unwilling to let him loose.  When you broke apart for oxygen, he walked you backwards towards the bedroom.

You stood at the end of the bed, unable to get each others’ clothes off fast enough - your nightshirt flew across the room, his pants were kicked away, until you were in your undies and he only his boxers.  His eyes raked over you with laser precision, not missing a roll or dimple or bump. All you felt was fire - alive, hot, and burning, through every part of you. You reached out for him, wrapping his arms around your back to unclasp your bra and then standing pressed to each other, skin to skin, unable to stop what was going to happen.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He had to ask twice before your brain registered words, and you were so damn hot from him kissing down your body, before you were both naked, you could barely formulate coherent speech.  You pulled him up and kissed him hard, pushing his boxers down while shimmying out of your boy shorts. In between urgent panting breaths, you gave the abbreviated version, before laying down on the bed and watching him prowl up your body, maximizing how much of his skin touched yours.  It didn’t matter, it wasn’t ever going to be enough.

You threw your head back, lifting your body off the bed, the sight of Tom staring through you increasing your arousal by the second.  He started to move off the bed, your protests making him smile while he pulled a condom out of his pants pocket. Before he could open it, you motioned him to travel back up your body.  When he stopped too early you scooted down so his engorged dick was directly over your mouth. You gently held the base, twisting and applying pressure as you moved up and down, feeling the rhythmic pulse of the vein running from root to tip as it bulged in your hand.

_______________________________________

Tom could not believe he was in her room, on her bed.  She was here with him, in London, because she wanted to be - no coercion, no false pretenses, just her quiet confidence in her feelings.  Whatever those feelings were, they were more than reciprocated. She captivated him, from her glee at the surprise, to the scrapbook, to the inscription - they made his heart practically jump out of his chest; he could not believe his luck.  When she opened the door, he wanted to hold her, wanted to kiss her and tell her sweet things she should hear every day of her life, and wanted to be with her in any way she wanted.

Though he wouldn’t have predicted falling asleep together, fully clothed, on the couch in a hotel room as the way his night would end, it was perfect.  They didn’t hold back, just did what felt right at the moment, and it worked. When he woke and heard her quietly singing in the living area, his heart lit up before he even opened his eyes, and when he saw her watching his city, having a cuppa, he was reminded of what attracted him in the first place.  She was peace. She was light. He hoped she was his.

Right now, though, she was under him giving him what may have been the best blow job he had ever experienced.  He kneeled above her face, clenching every muscle below the waist, but as she grabbed his ass and worked him with her mouth, it became increasingly difficult to stay still.  

“Darling, darling, stop.”  As painful as it was - literally - he sat back on his haunches, popping out of her mouth.  He looked at her swollen lips, lusty eyes, and tore open the condom and rolled it on, no fluffing needed. He felt “it” - the desire for everything about her, everything she was, flood his senses.  He could only do one thing, let her feel him, feel how much he felt for her.

_______________________________________

You scooted back to the head of the bed and couldn’t help but run your hands over your full tear-drop breasts, your torso covered in a landscape of lines you were once ashamed of but now knew were your prizes for living and surviving. Tom’s face was...different. He leaned forward over you, capturing your lips in a kiss so simple, so pure while encouraging you to get ready for him to be inside - the only place you wanted him to be.

As he broke the kiss you warned him how loud you could get.

“Guess I’ll have to think of ways to keep that pretty mouth busy, then.”  He nudged your legs wider apart, and proved what a good man he was.

“Do you want this, my love? Do you want me?” It was unfathomable to you that he might think you didn’t, but you gave your consent faster than you thought possible, kissing him in appreciation.

“Yes, please, I’m so ready, I need you so badly baby.”  With his forehead leaning against yours he used his tremendous strength to hold himself up on his forearms while he slid inside.  He was surprised when he didn’t need to slowly inch in, that you were able to take him in without pain, and ask for more, faster, harder almost immediately.

He started rocking back and forth, holding the headboard while following your every command.  You both knew there was no way you would hold back for long, and neither of you wanted to. Within half a dozen strokes, he was so close he could cry, and your entire body felt like lava, completely molten and unable to cool.  You wanted nothing more than to yell out you could not take another second without coming, and he knew. He leaned in, rasping out all the encouragement you needed to let go and cum furiously all over his cock, immediately pulling him with you over the edge.

If it was possible to feel like lead and air at the same time, you were there.Your body hadn’t been fucked that gloriously in a very long time, and it filled you with an afterglow that anyone would see, but also with the need for sleep.  To sleep, perchance to dream of this wonderful man breathing deeply beside you, watching you adoringly, and wanting nothing more than to stay right where he was for as long as you wanted him.  

Chapter 6

[purplesurveys]

533

Is there someone in your life you know you'd be better without? I think so. I wouldn’t for sure, though – I don’t know what it’s like without them just yet. For now, I just *think* it would better. Have you ever witnessed abuse in your friend's family? Yes. She narrated everything to me herself. She seems to be in a better place nowadays, which I’m happy about. Do you ditch school a lot? I used to in my early years in college. I’ve since felt guilty about that and never cut classes now as a result, unless I absolutely need a sanity break. What do you like about your display picture? I had just had my hair trimmed and was feeling pretty cute that day, so naturally I thought a bunch of selfies in the car was the right thing to do haha. Do you get criticized because of your body? Not much; admittedly, people don’t really criticize you much when you’re on the skinny side. My mom does tell me from time to time that I’ve been gaining weight, but I don’t mind it since it really is kind of my goal to put on a few pounds.

How much did you weigh when you were born? I was like five-ish pounds maybe? Not sure; I’d have to check my baby album to be certain. Did you kiss the last person you called? I have. When was the last time you danced? Not sure, I hate dancing and don’t really do it a lot. Maybe during my Paramore show last year? When was the last time you jumped on a trampoline? 1st or 2nd grade. My old friend, Katreen used to have a trampoline at their house and when I would use to visit them every Friday, I liked jumping on it. Do you keep in mind of other people's feelings? Yeah, always. Are any of your friends pregnant? Man, I never know. I have several batchmates from high school who’ve already got kids and no one had any idea they were even pregnant. Another one may have a baby on the way and I wouldn’t even be surprised anymore. If you have a hang nail do you pull it or clip it? I wait for it to just fall off by itself. Who do you want to forget? No whos. I want to forget the last two weeks. I want our Nach back so bad. Who was the last person to send you a letter? Probs some org in my email that sent a partnership proposal for their event. How much money is in your wallet? A little above P2,000 or around $40. When's the last time you did laundry? How far have you gotten with the book you are reading? Haven’t been reading anything. I’ve since returned the last book I borrowed, History of the Filipino People, back to our library. Who did you last tell to shut up? I don’t like speaking to anybody like that. What's the last thing that you smelt that smelt bad? A few days ago I faintly smelled cat pee when I entered my college’s building. Who were you with last night? I was by myself doing my readings the same way I did tonight. What's your favorite book at the moment? No favorites. Haven’t got the time to read. What's your favorite cereal? Cookie Crisps, alwayssssss. How do you feel when people lead you on, but they don't even like you? Idk, I’ve never experienced this. Could you live without sunlight? I think I could. I really hate the sun and bright weather and feeling hot lmao. What's something you know is bad but you want to do it anyway? Abandon all my readings and just watch YouTube videos all day. Oh and spend all my money on nice food hahahaha What was the last thing you lied about? That I was doing okay. Who is your number 2 speedial? Do you regret anything you've done in the past week? Driving over a huuuuuge pothole last Friday morning. I was going too fast so I couldn’t swerve at the last second. Car was shook up pretty bad, but she’s a fighter and didn’t die on me. What was the last movie you bought? Not too sure about ‘bought,’ but the last movie I watched in full was Hello, Love, Goodbye. What is a sport you would like to do? Table tennis. I never did get to play a game with N, who was the only other person I knew that actually played the sport. That’s another big regret. When was the last time you felt like crying? Right now. Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I’ve felt hatred to that level, but I was never serious enough to obsess over it or actually make plans or anything like that. What was the last song you listened to that wasn't sung in English? Buwan by juan karlos. What did you last draw? I don’t draw a lot. What tv show would you like to be on? Those that have hosts trying out street food everywhere would be nice. If you could choose a pokemon, who would you pick? idk I don’t feel like picking one at the moment. Is Chuck Norris really as great as he seems? I guess he is from what I saw in 2010 9GAG posts lmao but I’ve never actually seen any of his works. What was the last video game you played? Does Mario Kart Tour count? I’m not a big video gamer. Have you ever been in a musical? I’ve been in school productions, but always just as a part of a big singing group. Do you follow your own style or everyone else's? I’ve developed my own over the last few years. What's the last store you bought from? Does Starbucks count? Who is your true best friend? Gabie. Do people use you a lot? No, because I don’t let them. What are you doing two days from now? I’ll just be in school that day. I’d probably be practicing for my report scheduled for Wednesday. Are there any teachers at your school that dislike you? In high school? Definitely. I didn’t like the rigidity of the place and tbh barely adhered to the rules, so I won’t be surprised if I caught the ire of several teachers.  What turns you on? Typically I’d answer this, but depression is kicking in and I am missing Nacho and this isn’t a good time to answer the question. Did you ever believe there were monsters in your closet? No. Do you let random people sign your yearbook? Noooo. Yearbooks are so expensive; I wouldn’t let anybody scribble on mine. Would you adopt a child that had a mental illness? I wouldn’t mind having a kid that ended up being mentally ill; but I don’t plan on adopting in general. Does thinking about death scare you? No. If you died, would you go to heaven or hell? Ugh. Do you lick envelopes or tape them shut? I staple them shut. Do you care what people say or think about you? Only if it comes from people I care about, or consider as friends. Have you ever had surgery? No, and I hope I never have one.   Have you ever been threatened? In various ways, sure. Which side of your family do you get most of your qualities from? MOM’s. Definitely. What was the last thing you drank? Caramel macchiato that’s since grown stale. Have you ever kept a relationship a secret? For a few weeks. Gab and I rekindled our relationship in the last few weeks of high school, and seeing as we were in a conservative, Catholic, all-girls school, we had to be extremely careful because being found out could cost us our diplomas. The night we graduated we shared our relationship on Twitter. How much do you weigh? Idk, somewhere in the 90s. How much do you want to weigh? I’d like to weigh 10 pounds heavier, at most. Who's the last person you called a creeper? This Singaporean guy who hit on Gabie through Messenger after her trip to the country hahaha What street do you live on? What is a quote that you love? “When is a good time to be marupok?”

[donnerpartyofone]

21 Questions

Tagged by @getoutofmyhouse who had oddly similar answers to mine

Nickname: only the one I use here, that I gave myself--Claire Donner, which has to do with my famous love of cannibalism. Claire is my real first name, though.

Zodiac: I am so very cuspy. I was born at about a quarter to midnight on April 20, so I tend to relate to, and feel insulted by, the suppositions about Aries and Taurus equally. I’m one of those jerks who will tell you astrology is a bunch of hoo ha...and then drone on with my Many Esoteric Ideas about it, so I’ll just stop myself right here.

Height: 5’ nuthin is what I prefer to say...because saying I’m 5 and 3/4′ sounds a little like saying I’m 10 and a half years old.

Amount of sleep: It’s all fucked up. Until I got into my 30s I could, and would prefer to, sleep endlessly. Now I go to bed around 10 (depression), get up around 5 or 6 (being old), and for extra fun, I’ve developed this insomnia that often keeps me up from about 2am-5am. I try make the most of it by getting up, getting high, watching a movie or two, writing...basically just having a secret private day by myself. I’d really rather go back to just sleeping constantly though.

Last movie I saw: I saw GRETA in theaters tonight, which was ok. I guess I thought any Neil Jordan film would be headier than this, but watching Isabel Huppert just running around acting like an absolute maniac is a rare treat! My last video experience was RAW, which I put on to bother my husband right when we got home from the theater. (I think he liked it more than I originally did, to my surprise)

Last thing I googled: The correct spelling of Sylvia Likens’ last name. I’m obsessed with this type of crime where a group of people (usually a family and/or some of their friends and neighbors) fall into some kind of shared hysteria where they protractedly torture to death an acquaintance for no particular reason. Some times there’s an element of mystery as to why the victim didn’t leave while they were still able to, which suggests to me that the murdered person was just as much a victim of the groupthink as the perpetrators. Other example victims include Suzanne Capper, Vera Jo Reigle, and I think to some degree Sophie Lionnet, James Bulger, and Junko Furuta. (Also a crime they briefly discuss in the book Lords of Chaos, where several people murder a friend in their trailer, but I can’t remember it specifically enough to look up the names--the other last thing i tried to google) I keep thinking there should be a psychiatric and/or legal term for this kind of crime, but I’ve never heard one, so let me know if you got one!

Favorite musician: I have trouble with questions that involve ranking anything, so I’ll just say that right now I’m listening to a lot of old White Zombie. I didn’t know anything about their origins as an East Village noise band, and I’m fascinated by the stories about how apocalyptically miserable it was to be in that group. I’m increasingly obsessed with people who work their asses off doing something they barely even enjoy, for what must be borderline spiritual reasons.

Song stuck in my head: Nothing right this second, for which I am very grateful. There’s something awful in my brain that causes me to wake up with some maddening, babyish tune stuck in my head more often than not. It is most frequently the Ten Little Indians nursery rhyme. This is literally killing me.

Other blogs: @anhed-nia, which started as a dumping ground for long posts about mental illness, and turned into almost only movie writing. at some point there was just so much movie shit that i started to feel awkward about posting anything personal there again. i also got @getoffyrass which is a group blog, and a repository for images that make great drawing references. everyone is encouraged to post their drawings, too, although it is seldom used. i still like having it around, for when i have time to draw. my “real” drawing blog is @neveratendermoment but i don’t draw often enough anymore...

Do I get asks: i used to get tons! i really enjoy them, even the trolls to some degree. i must have seemed like more of a regular tumblr geek girl back in the day. also tumblr has just changed a lot since then. my blog was definitely a casualty of Best Stuff First, i think my follower count stopped dead forever right when that happened, and now that practically every single fucking thing on this entire site is either fandom shit or *discourse*, i really have nothing to offer tumblr anymore, anyway.

Blogs following: 1,057. 

Lucky numbers: 2! Also 5.

What I’m wearing: black wool long john pants from Chrome, and a white v neck teeshirt with the words BLACK MAYONNAISE on it in black Rocky Horror font. i live near the notoriously toxic Gowanus Canal, and “black mayonnaise” is the actual term used to describe what’s on the bottom of it, by the scientists who are trying to figure out what to do with it.

Dream trip: i am really excited by travel, it’s hard to pick. i’m hopefully making a dream trip soon though: my father’s mysterious finno-swedish family is from the åland islands, and my husband and i will be planning part of our honeymoon there, whenever that happens.

Dream Job: i think about this a lot, because the older i get, the more i object to the entire concept of having to work to live. i’m into the whole universal basic income thing. i’m at this point where i can barely stand to think about capitalism in any way--like i think about how the need for money is so mortally serious that there’s a lot of physical stuff in the world that only exists because someone was scared of starving, tons of useless products and packaging and factory byproducts and all kinds of fucking straight up garbage that was only invented due to the lethality of poorness. i would rather be left totally alone forever if possible. however, if i HAD to do something and i COULD do anything, it would probably be film criticism. this fantasy takes place in a world where people care so much about what i have to say that i can make a career, not only out of movie writing, but out of only writing about the specific movies i want to write about, referring to nothing other than my personal reactions.

Favorite food: i wish the answer weren’t just “cheese”, but it probably is. also mushrooms. anything cinnamon. i’m a pretty adventurous eater though. the most important thing for me is a variety of flavors and textures.

Languages: english. i took several years of italian in junior high-high school, and did nothing with it. i taught myself to read french pretty fluently, but i would fold right up if someone tried to speak to me. i learned a bunch of swedish on duolingo, shoulda kept it up. i’ll get back to it! i really regret never learning spanish though, so i’m easily torn on what to do with my time.

Play any instruments: clarinet in junior high/high school, also alto sax which i did not enjoy at all, a little guitar. i bought a used electric bass last year that i have really been enjoying, but i feel a lot of guilt around not playing enough. so much of it is just strength training. that’s probably what i like about it, though. also i got a lot of electronic music software and midi controllers and stuff...and then i realized that it could take me months to sort through the thousands of samples i have to program this stuff, and i only got so far into it before i started to get discouraged. i need to get back to it, it’s ridiculous to let that stuff lie around. this is a rare example of me wishing i knew someone local to play with, who could speed me along on how everything works.

Favorite songs: another one of these impossible questions! anybody who is even reading this can probably guess the answers from the handful of music posts i reblog over and over and over. the other night i got all hyperactive and forced my husband to drop everything and listen to “buffalo stance” by nene cherry, which i never ever get sick of. real top contenders for favorite song might be “Stand By the Jamms” by the klf, and this recording, which has gotten me through many difficult hours:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8k1HsF3EvY

https://www.forcedexposure.com/Catalog/sunray-sonic-boom-music-for-the-dreamachine-cd/STRAWB.003CD.html

Random fact: i’m sure i’m missing out on something really funny and cool, but for now it’s just the well-known fact that i read palms.

Describe yourself as aesthetic thing: man, how do i answer this without being totally pretentious? maybe nobody can! i’m coming up with something really hard to describe but it will be worth it. the other day i watched this insane, completely unnecessary movie about lorca and salvador dali (played by robert pattinson) as gay lovers. there’s a scene in it where lorca does that “pick a hand” thing to dali, and dali picks an empty hand. of course, they’re both poor students who couldn’t be buying any gifts, so they do this obnoxious pantomime where dali pretends lorca actually gave him something--but then it turns out that lorca really DOES have something. he opens his other hand and gives dali...SOMETHING. i don’t know what! they make such a big deal out of it, but what the hell? you see it for a second in this closeup, but it’s shot from like, behind and slightly underneath, and it is just unrecognizable. it’s sort of an orange blob? it’s probably meant to be a sculpture. but, i love the idea of doing the “pick a hand” thing to somebody, and the other person is just like...hey wait a minute, what the fuck even IS this?? 

it reminded me of one of the most amazing things anyone ever did at my school, bard college. this genius art student who I WISH I COULD NAME TO CREDIT HER did her senior project as this like...made up product. i saw them at the senior show, hanging off a spinner rack, like you’d see next to the register in the drug store. they were called Toilet Buddies. they were these plastic, brightly colored objects that looked like toys, but they didn’t have a familiar earthly shape, and because of the title, it was IMPOSSIBLE to imagine what to do with them. so, she gets the lipstick cam from the film department, and shoots this video of herself sneaking some Toilet Buddies into Walmart. then she takes them to the register and BUYS THEM--the baffled cashier looks for them for a while, and eventually just rings them up as a general grocery or something. then in part 2, the artist TAKES THEM BACK TO THE STORE WITH THE RECEIPT AND GETS A REFUND.

so anyway, i see myself as like a fake product--something that looks just familiar enough to exit, and that appears to have a designated purpose, but it’s just kind of cheap and foreign and it becomes nightmarish to try to imagine what to do with it. 

I don’t know if anyone i know will want to do this, but i tag @negativepleasure @moviesludge @former-contender @dimestoreman @thefuzzydave @darkarfs @theoddsideofme @blueruins ...um, i don’t really know who would enjoy this. the ultimate would be @garbagenacht

[sunnybugz]

only fools

chapter: i

word count: 2115

authors note: hi losers, welcome to the first chapter of my new fanfic, it’s dianetti because i am dianetti trash. it’s also a highschool au because i am a teenager and do not know how the real word works. hope u like it!!! i will be posting it on ao3 once my account request finally comes back (by the end of this week!!) lets get to it i guess???

11:38 AM, Brooklyn Academy High cafeteria

Rosa sat at their lunch table, eating her sandwich. By their, she meant her the table that had belonged to her and her best friends since ninth grade. Her best friends being Jake Peralta, Amy Santiago, Charles Boyle, and of course, the one and only Gina Linetti. They were all so amazingly different yet fit together so well. Jake was the dark-haired, brown-eyed, absolutely hilarious (and absolutely childish at times) boy sitting at the top right of their table. He was a total idiot a lot of the time, but was amazing at solving puzzles and problems. He also had an intense love for Die Hard and drinks that were the colour blue. Amy, however, was the beautiful, smart and organized Cuban girl sitting across from Rosa. She was so put together all the time, but was also really goofy and cute when not under watch from everyone else. Her favourite things in the world were probably binders, essays, and her boyfriend, Jake. Charles was the brown-haired, clumsy, goofball who sat beside Amy. He was a total dork who was far too obsessed with his friends relationships, but was truly the most kind and caring person any of them have met in their entire life. He loved to cook too, and often brought some weird food that he made the night before for all of them to try (which often ended terribly, but they were thankful for the effort). And then there was Gina Linetti. Gina was gorgeous, with auburn hair and blue eyes, and she was a lot shorter than Rosa. She was silly and sarcastic and treated herself like she was the queen of the world (which she basically was in Rosa’s eyes). She also cared about her friends more than anything in the world (other than maybe her phone).

The group hadn’t always been as close as they were now though. Jake and Gina had been best friends probably since birth, because their families were super close. Charles and Jake became best friends in the third grade after being assigned desk partners and realizing they were an amazing team when it came to cheating on spelling tests. Amy had come along in seventh grade, when she moved to their area and became part of their class. Rosa joined the gang in the middle of grade eight, when she was new at their school and Gina was the only one who would actually come up to her despite her scary exterior. From then on, they had been a power team, and probably one of the closest, drama free friend groups in their entire high school. They supported each other through everything (even in tenth grade when Amy made the idiotic decision to date Teddy Wells, and to get over his enormous crush on her, Jake dated Sophia  Perez. They realized it was stupid and started dating within a few months). It was nice to just have people who genuinely loved Rosa for who she was, even if that person was an angry, bisexual, all-black-wearing, eighteen year old girl.

It was in that moment when Rosa realized she had been spacing out for the past 45 seconds.

“Hello? I know my girlfriend is hot but there’s no need to stare,” Jake teases while throwing a french fry at Rosa’s head. She rolls her eyes and throws it back.

“Yeah, Rosa, I’m totally the one you should be staring at right now, I mean, look at me!” Gina joins in. At this one, unlike Jake’s teasing, Rosa feels her face heat up. If she had been consciously staring, it definitely would have been at Gina. Of course, she would never say that out loud. Nobody could ever know about her top-secret crush on the auburn haired dancer. Except unknown to Rosa, literally everyone knew except for Gina. Jake and Amy had placed a $20 bet on whether Rosa would ask her out by Valentine’s day. Jake thought Rosa totally would, because she’s been obsessed with her since like, eighth grade, but Amy thought that if Rosa still hasn’t made a move after four and a half years, what would all of a sudden compel her to do so? Charles would always ‘accidentally’ make situations where the two of them ended up alone, but instead of ending up with them confessing their undying love for each other and then promptly making out like everyone hoped it would, it would always end with Rosa stumbling over her words when Gina did or said something cute (re: every five seconds). Rosa thought she was an amazing secret keeper, but it turns out Gina was just oblivious to the rest of the world when she wasn’t being mentioned.

Before Rosa could answer, the bell rang. Everyone quickly got up to race to their next class. “Want me to walk you to class?” asked Gina.

“Gina, it’s English. We’re in the same class. We literally sit beside each other.” Rosa said.

“Fine! I guess I’ll walk alone!” Gina said dramatically. Rosa smiled a huge, dorky smile that she didn’t do for anyone other than Gina.

“I never said I wanted that,” Rosa laughed. Gina turned back to her, smiling her cute smile that Rosa saw in her dreams every night without fail.

“Proven again, Gina Linetti is absolutely irresistible to the ladies!”, Gina said far too loudly.

She isn’t wrong, though, Rosa thought.

2:34 PM, Brooklyn Academy High

The rest of the school day goes by quite uneventfully. Everyone is anticipating the end of the day, when casting in the spring musical comes out. Their schools musicals are written every year by an ex-student at their school, Terry Jeffords. They’ve always been love stories, and Jake and Amy have respectively played the lead male and female every year without fail. This year though, that won’t happen. Mainly because it’s a musical about homophobia, and if Jake and Amy were playing lesbians, the school would have a lot of issues to figure out. However, there is a specific someone who also auditioned for the girlfriend of the character Rosa auditioned for. Rosa auditioned to play Lola, the female lead, a lesbian who has recently come out at her Catholic school and is threatened with expulsion, and Gina auditioned for the role of June, Lola’s girlfriend who is yet to come out. However, Rosa doesn’t think she could ever get the part. Gina will almost 100% get June, but there was a bunch of girls going for the part of Lola. Not as many as there usually are for the lead role (most girls weren’t up to playing a lesbian), but still a fair amount.

When 2:40 finally comes, any drama kid races to the auditorium. They all sit in chairs, Rosa snagging a spot between Gina, who has decided to live stream the casting, and Amy, who is holding Jake’s hand tightly. They’re all on the edge of their seats waiting for Director Holt to come in and read the casting list. When he finally walks in at 2:46, the room goes silent.

“I know you’ve all been waiting for a week and a half since auditions, and I apologize for leaving you all to wonder. However, I now have the casting list, and I’m sure you would all like to hear it.” he says. Yes! Of course they want to hear it!

“I will be reading out the main cast. As you all know, any person not given a main role will be given a role as an extra,” Holt says. Rosa prays that isn’t referring to her. She’s never been an extra, but from the sounds of it, it absolutely sucks. “First off, playing the role of Madam Wringer, the headmistress, will be Sophia Perez,” he reads. First announcement is quite awkward, as this means Jake will most likely have his ex-girlfriend as his co-star.

“The role of Lola’s brother, Henry, will be played by Charles Boyle,”. Yay for Charles! It’s no surprise he got the role, he’s a great actor and is good for both dramatic scenes and comedic relief.

“The role of Lola’s father will be played by none other than Jake Peralta,” reads Director Holt. No surprise there, Jake got the leading male.

“Lola’s mother will be played by Amy Santiago.”. Amy and Jake look at each other with heart eyes. Of course they’re playing a married couple.

“Finally, we’re onto our two leading lady roles. June, the girlfriend will be played by Gina Linetti, and finally, Lola will be played by Rosa Diaz.”

Gina turns to Rosa with her phone. “Babe, we’re girlfriends!”. Rosa freezes for a second before smiling hugely. She tries not to make it obvious the effect that the little pet name has on her, and if Gina notices, she doesn’t say anything.

Rosa is also in shock because she got the female lead! She’s never been the lead, as Amy has always scored the role. Gina ends her live stream with a “Bye, losers!”, and turns back to the group. “I say this calls for celebratory pizza!”. The group cheers, and all feel even happier knowing that they get to go to Sal’s pizza afterwords.

“Our first read through will be tomorrow after school, and we will be rehearsing daily. I expect us to start blocking soon, so you all must practice as often as you can,” Holt says. “I expect no nonsense with this production. You are all experienced actors, and you all know how a play works. Read over your scripts tonight!”. Once they all have their scripts, everyone heads out the door.

“Rosa, how does it feel to get the privilege of playing the love interest of someone as wonderful as me? I’ve never had the experience, please describe in detail.” Gina says, smirking. Rosa shakes her head and smiles.

“It’s wonderful Gina, but I think with the amount of love you have for yourself you wouldn’t have to ask,” Rosa retorts.

“It’s called confidence, bitch! Look it up!” Gina jokes, hitting Rosa lightly on the back of her head.

“Ooh, two lovebirds having a quarrel! Who will win, or will it end in a kiss?” Charles says. The two of them roll their eyes.

“We aren’t lovebirds, Charles! We aren’t even likebirds! We’re just… friendbirds! That’s right, they’re a real thing! You’ve just never heard of them!” Rosa defends.

“Yeah, Charles! Also, Rosa, I truly care about you but if you call me a bird again, I will not hesitate to throw you in front of a bus. I’m clearly a wolf.” Gina says. Rosa rolls her eyes.

“Okay, stop flirting, I want pizza!” Jake complains. Amy lets out a breathy laugh while shaking her head.

“We aren’t flirting!”, Gina and Rosa say in unison.

8:19 PM, Rosa Diaz’s Bedroom

Rosa is looking over her script for the first time, while lying in bed. She’s changed out of her black jeans, navy blue t-shirt, and leather jacket, and now wears flannel pyjama pants and a black tank top. She’s about halfway through the script, when she sees a line that catches her eye.

LOLA AND JUNE SHARE A SOFT, LOVING KISS

Rosa re-reads the line about five times to see if it’s right. Lo and behold, the line remains the same. Rosa feels giddy with nerves. She’s going to kiss Gina Linetti. For a play, but that means nothing to her. She doesn’t care what she’s doing it for, as long as she is kissing that girl. Rosa giggles - actually giggles- at the thought. Just then, she gets a text from Jake.

Jake: haha looks like sum1’s wishes are coming tru ;)

Rosa: shut up, jake. i’m totally not into her that way.

(Rosa is definitely into her that way)

Jake: okayyyy sure. explain y u look at her the way u do.

Rosa: how do i look at her?

Jake: like ur in loveeeee

Rosa: ugh, i am NOT in love. she’s just hot, ok??? i'm not one of those lovey-dovey freaks like u and amy

Jake: that’s what i said before i dated amy but ok

Rosa: no, u literally said ‘i would marry amy santiago without hesitation, whether that’s at a huge mansion or in an actual dumpster’

Jake: welp, u got me there.

Rosa rolls her eyes and shuts her phone off. She doesn’t have to tell people about her personal feelings. Emotions were gross, in her opinion. Unless they were emotions about Gina, which were absolutely amazing. However, those were secret feelings. Nobody is supposed to know about that.

That night, Rosa has some very good dreams about Gina Linetti.

[neptunicus-blog]

An Evening with Loki Pt.3

Summary: Last night on the mission with Loki. Still cute, still fluffy.

Warnings: Swearing

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word count: 2197

Part 1  Part 2

@talinalani @miss-raining-sunshine @lokilvrr @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @thelightofloki

As Loki took his shower, he couldn’t help but think about all of the things he could have done or said that might have made you like him more. He thought about his morning and afternoon with you; he laughed again about jokes you made or quirky things you said. While he was standing under the water, letting the pressure soothe his tired muscles, he saw that your shampoo, conditioner, and body wash were still in there. Loki picked each up gently, as if he was going to get caught, and smelled each one. Smelling them made him think about holding you at night. Loki wanted to hold you as soon as he could tonight, to let the scent of you overtake him. Loki thought to himself that he could keep himself awake and wait till you fell asleep to roll closer to you. Yes, that’s what he would do, it had been decided.

Loki got out of the shower and dressed himself in sweatpants and a t-shirt and then started squeezing his wet hair in a towel. While he was doing this he noticed your lotions, face products, and toothpaste on the vanity. This filled Loki with a type of happiness that he had never felt before, he was sharing his space with someone else willingly, happily. He liked the idea of seeing your things in his space, he also liked the idea of perhaps sharing those things with you one day. For now, Loki would settle for this mission with you.

Exiting the bathroom, Loki did not see you. He thought to himself that he could call out to you and you would probably answer, but he couldn’t find his voice. Part of him feared the worst again, perhaps while he was daydreaming in the shower someone broke in. Loki walked into the living room in a hurried manner and felt his body relax when he saw you laying completely spread out on the couch, complete with a pillow and blanket. Again, the thought crossed Loki’s mind, I’m living the dream. (y/n) rolled to look at Loki and admired his casual attire. “Tony texted me and said that there is a whole tv set up here, it comes out of this wall, or something ridiculous like that. But I can’t find the buttons I need to push”. Loki turned to the wall with what appeared to be a thermostat and security system without saying a word. Loki pressed one button and a whole television dropped down from the ceiling by the fireplace. Your eyes widened with surprise. “Well you know, I didn’t even really look that hard so…”, you began to say. Loki turned to you smirking, “oh yeah, you couldn’t see the button that said ‘tv’, huh”. You threw one of the pillows on the couch at him, gaining huge smiles from you both. You saw Loki look to the end of the couch that your feet were on, so you brought them closer to you momentarily, giving him a place to sit. Loki sat, thankful that he was on the same couch as you, and then began fiddling with the remote. You rolled so you were laying on your side, facing the tv, and then you stretched out and put your feet in Loki’s lap. Loki froze briefly, unfamiliar with the situation he was now in. Loki decided that he would play it extremely casual, that is what a regular human would do, is it not? As the tv played some adult cartoons, you finally had time to think about things that you had been pushing away. You wanted to be closer to Loki. You wanted Loki to want to be closer to you. The thought of this made you gloomy; you wanted this to last. But what was ‘this’? It was just a friendship, nothing more nothing less. You both clearly enjoyed each other’s company. You peeked over at Loki who had a very small smirk on his face, appreciating the adult humor on the tv. Fuck. You didn’t have a crush on him, no. A crush is a full-blown obsession, a crush is when it hurts to be in the same room with them, a crush is painful and draining. But you were developing some sort of feelings for him. Trying to rationalize this was extremely difficult, would you have developed feelings for anyone who spent a weekend with you? Maybe. Were you just that desperate for friendship? For some sort of affection? I don’t know. You had so many thoughts running through your mind that you almost didn’t even notice Loki place a hand on your calf. He was completely resting it there on you, his whole hand, every inch of it touching you. Fuck.

Two different worlds were sitting on one couch because while (y/n) was going through a mental house of mirrors, Loki was plotting every move he made like he was diffusing a bomb. Loki wanted to touch you, he just wanted to feel you against him, to know you were there with him. He wanted to know that you were not some illusion. Before Loki had placed his hand on you, he had to work up the courage. He thought at first, he would rest it on your foot, but then decided that that could come across as creepy. He then thought about placing it on your ankle and that too he decided was no good. He finally decided on your leg, below the knee for sure, that would definitely be appropriate, casual, and still friend-ish. Carrying out the maneuver was tricky, he did not want to disturb you. When he saw his hand was finally resting on you, he let a small smirk slip onto his face. He was satisfied now.

A few episodes too many later, you were both getting hungry. You stood from the couch and put the blanket around you like a cape, tying it in the front so you could walk to the kitchen. Loki bowed and held out his hand, gesturing to the kitchen, “after you, your majesty”. “Oh, shut up, you’re the one who actually wears capes”, (y/n) said spiritedly. Loki smiled following you with your blanket cape into the kitchen, he smiled again when it got caught on the stool for the island. “What are we gonna do for dinner? I don’t really feel like cooking”, you said languidly. “We could just do leftovers and snack”, Loki suggested. You agreed and heated up last night’s dinner. Tonight, you sat directly next to each other. You even let him taste the drink you had made yourself. “This is kind of fun” you admitted. Loki looked at you, genuinely interested and hopeful. “What is?” he asked. “Being here. It’s like were normal people, like a married couple and this is our house and this is what we do” you answered nonchalantly. Loki looked down at his plate, feeling his cheeks warm a little. “Yes, I rather enjoy being here with you (y/n)” he said, meeting your gaze despite his flush, he didn’t want to seem insincere. You gave him a small smile and got up with your plates, bringing them to the sink. You then went straight into the bathroom to brush your teeth.

Loki rolled his eyes at himself. What was wrong with him, he thought to himself. He was kicking himself internally, he could have said a million things, he could have said that he loved feeling like your husband, that he never wanted to leave, that you were the perfect spouse. Loki could have told you that everything you have been doing together has made him happier than he has been in a very long time, but he didn’t. He just said he enjoyed being here with you, what an idiot, Loki reflected. “I think I’m gonna go lay down, are you gonna stay down here or come up?” (y/n) tiredly asked as she was walking out of the bathroom. Loki almost jumped off of his chair, heading towards you. “I’ll come up” he voiced. Loki was so certain about this when the words came out of his mouth, his body was certainly sure, it left the chair faster than he thought it could. But just as he was about to walk up the stairs, he grew so insecure suddenly, becoming aware of the fact that you might want some space, some time to yourself. Now at the top of the stairs, you turned to see Loki staring at you form the bottom, an unreadable expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” you worriedly asked. Loki stuttered, “am I bothering you? I could give you space if you like? I’ve just realized that I haven’t left you alone all day”. “I like it” was all you left him with before you disappeared up there. Loki sighed, now upset with himself that he had exposed that much self-doubt, and slowly climbed the steps, freshening his breath with magic as he went.

You both climbed into bed and laid there in the silent moonlight. You were both drained from today, it was a long, cold, and wet day. Minutes passed until you turned to face Loki, just as you had the night before. Before you even said anything, Loki turned to face you too. You both laid there in your new positions, looking at each other in silence for a few moments. Loki made the first move, reaching to brush the hair out of your face so that he could hopefully see more of it. The moon was much brighter tonight, you could both make out much more in the glimmer. As Loki was retracting his hand, you grabbed it. You didn’t have a plan and realized that as soon as you had your hand over his. You pressed the back of his hand to your cheek, nuzzling into it, feeling his cool skin against yours. You shut your eyes for a moment and then let go of his hand, hoping you didn’t make things awkward. Loki ran his thumb very gently over your lips, as if they were flower petals. You met his gaze with tired eyes, and he pulled you into him. Nestling into his chest, you smiled a smile of relief. This is just what you wanted. Loki closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, squeezing you just a little tighter. He couldn’t wait till you were asleep, he didn’t care if he embarrassed himself or if he made himself vulnerable in front of you. He was happy.

“(y/n) … I..”, Loki stopped himself. He didn’t even know what he wanted to say to you, what he wanted to tell you. You rolled back a bit so you could look at him, but you didn’t say anything. Loki tried again, “(y/n), I…”. You reached up and ran your fingers through his hair; he shut his eyes to enjoy the sensation completely. “I’m just really enjoying my time here with you (y/n)”, Loki finally spit out. There was no way he could tell you everything he was thinking, you would think he was utterly insane. You didn’t say anything to him, partly because you were so tired that you didn’t want to speak, and partly because you didn’t know how to respond.

Before Loki fell asleep, he heard the light rumbling of a storm just beginning. Rather quickly, the storm escalated and bright lighting accompanied by booming claps of thunder filled the small bedroom. Upon the first break of thunder, you awoke startled. You clung to Loki tighter, feeling his body completely calm. “Are you afraid of storms, my dear?” Loki asked you, feeling your heart beat faster. “No, I was just so asleep, I wasn’t expecting a storm”, you groggily replied. Loki ran his hand threw your hair, “(y/n) … I am worried about what is going to happen when we return from this mission” Loki said honestly. “Why?” you asked, relaxing more as you listened to the rain. “Because I want to continue being with you like this” Loki admitted. “We can still hang out together at the tower”, you tiredly mumbled. Loki stared up at the ceiling, knowing that you did not understand what he meant, but not wanting to say anything more. Feeling a melancholy like he had not yet experienced in his life, Loki gripped you tighter; Loki thought to himself that this would be the last time he would ever get to be this close to you, this close with you. Loki did not just want to see you in passing in the tower, Loki wanted to share space with you, to be by your side as long as you would let him. After experiencing a full day with you, Loki never wanted to go back to going about his days on his own. All of his favorite activities seemed so much better somehow when he was doing them with you. All the while that Loki was thinking about these things, you were falling asleep to the question of whether or not his bed or your bed would be more comfortable for you two to share back at the tower.

[hopesanpedro]

Createurs - We Exist

I have the pleasure of being in the presence of talented and passionate artists and musicians most of the time and it’s, for me, is one of the best things in my life. Friends, I call these people.

Last Saturday, one of the bands I looked out for in the past years launched their first album – We Exist. Createurs, which is apparently the French word of creators which is already so beautiful when you think about it in itself, is a collaborative band telling the stories of the monsters not just under our beds but also the ones inside our heads, even the ones that are chasing us, through the music of different people. They have also collaborated with different visual artists for each of their song and those artworks were also featured in the lyrics booklet with their CD.

We Exist album has 12 well-written tracks that speaks of the eerie, the enchanting, the damned, and the mystery of the entirety of life. Yes, life.

Now, I’m not going to pretend like I’m some music expert and give you guys a review of their album. I am, however, going to share with you my thoughts on each and favorite lyrics from the tracks in it.

1. Pancake (Re)Mix

This one’s a little too close to my heart. Remember the artworks I’ve mentioned earlier? I made one for them and it was for this song. I think this is the most outright cheesy song they have in their album. But even so, it wasn’t the corny kind. I described this one as “colorful” when I first heard it. It’s exactly the reason why I was careful on putting too much color in the artwork, I didn’t want to take the colors from the song – I wanted it to be as serene and innocent as the song.

“Flying with time just to witness your smile. And I, oh I’m falling down tonight”

We all know the feeling of being all chummy giddy soft inside like we swallowed a whole damn litter of puppies and they won’t stop making you melt from the inside and that’s what this song makes you feel like – kilig. Oh young, new, love.

2. Tides and Lifelines

Okay, just reading the title you’d get an idea of what this song is about. This song reminds me of a lyric from one of my most favorite band ever ever; “love is watching someone die”. (fine it’s from What Sarah Said by Death Cab For Cutie). I think this is one of the songs Createurs wrote and it speaks about mortality and how we deal with it.

“We’re the bullet in each other’s gun, shoot the angels that would take us apart”

Just read those lines. I don’t want to even think how hard it is to be so desperate and helpless in trying to help someone so dear in the brink of death. Ouch, I’m just gonna go and cry for a while.

3. Teragram Carnivale

“Shadows fall on rooms like this, where the sun and the moon collide, with your eyes that once were my carousel rides”

I feel like we all can relate to this song in some way. It has to be relevant to every one of us at some point in our lives. We all wanted to believe in something that has grew its root around our hearts and got a little too caught up in the roller coaster rides. I think this song brings you back to that particular time to make you realize that the past never changes and they never go away. Definitely in my top 3.

4. Facemask

I think I’ve played this song one too many times when they uploaded this on spotify before. Mostly because of its catchiness and its angst. Lol sorry I know, I can’t think of a better way to describe it. You can actually feel the song’s anger and disappointment wrapped in some sort of vengeful feeling.

I liked the lines “You’re only fooling yourself, messing everyone’s head.  A catfish, a sly dish, the culprit, gets blown kiss”

In this digital era, anything and everything can be edited or lied about and it gets sickening when someone or a group of people manipulate others by lying to them about important things.  Technology is a beautiful thing if used for good, but there is some greed in humanity that uses it for something else entirely.

5. Trigger Warning

“It’s the beginning and it’s the end. When all the light has been set, a warning when night is at best.”

I feel like this song was supposed to be in the beginning? It would have been nice to have heard this intro to all their haunting songs, both in a good and eerie way. It’s like the ones you hear when you watch a horror movie that gives you chicken skin and cool fog kinda vibes. It’s a mood setter, a look into the mirror of our own self. It asks you to look inside and acknowledge that you are one of these monsters you are so scared of.

6. The Curious Life of Mr. Hyde II: The Mexicat

This song is still in my everyday playlist. It’s been there since I’ve met Rain the night they played for WAT Up the first time and I got sucked into their music. Oh god I have so many favorite lines from this song!! It’s about mental issues and it perfectly sings the chaos that is in one’s head. They wrote this to try and explain how complicated it is to be in the state of unstable mental health in a very poetic way.

Here are my top 3 lines (YESS BECAUSE I CANT CHOOSE OKAY?? ☹ ); “The colorful imagery of dancing audacity”, “Conversing with my demons, addicted to the tone”, “I haven’t got a martini or any kind of whiskey, But baby you’re my margarita, drunk in love with you”.

Welp. Let’s just say I love the entire lyrics ugh

7. Pianocktail

OH THIS! I love this one. This reminds me of my other favoritest band forever – Panic! At The Disco. The story within and the sophistication in this one is something that’s imprinted into my fanatic heart (awow).

“The taste has never been this condescending. A drink to be made by the one and only pianocktail!”

Ah, there’s nothing more tripping than an uncertainty for something you’ve had for so long.

8. Chat Box From Alaska

“She’s a part-time lover and a beautiful liar, plagued with her broken words and empty promises. Cornered by the pillars of her comfort and embrace, making out with someone better, someone smoother, someone tastier”

I feel like this song is basically for fuck girls who manipulates people for sex by leading people on and leaving them just as fast. I think the last part of this song was written by Rain as a poem years and years ago? Nevertheless, it ended the song so smoothly.

9. Awful Things the Moon Saw

This song makes me think of obsessive lovers or past ones that refuses to let it go. Maybe it’s also us when we hold on a little too tight on something that’s already slipping away.

“Well you know you’ve got me haunted by your scent, Now I find myself begging and falling for you more and more.”

It is also kind of a lullaby to me for some reason, I can sleep soundly with this one playing hehe

10. St. Cecille

This one’s also in my playlist since I’ve first heard it. I think I read the story behind (or at least heavily connected) this song, written by the vocalist. He has a lot of passion, idk ask him. JK!!!!

"Rhyme our thoughts in this waltzing dreams. Time stops when you are around. You’re the one I’ve been talking about on the song of roads and hearts”

I wish I can share with you guys the link to the story but I’m not sure if he’d like that. Anyway, this love song is right up my alley – mysterious, magic, and love? Hell yas.

11. Bloodstream

All I can say about this is that I am so excited for the story to come out because I want to look more into it. Twilight’s werewolves just left the building.

“Chaotic, poetic, and overly narcissistic. Hypnotic, agnostic, but slightly optimistic. Out of the forest to Manila fucking buses. It’s a tale about a man who waltzed among carcasses.”

It’s a midnight story!

12. Stellar Memories

The first song, besides the ones I’ve already heard before of course, that caught my attention in the album was this one. It’s a desperate attempt to preserve something we believe in and wish for its memories to last up to our end.

“Set up the fire and let’s dance around the house. Then watch it burn down like the dreams we fought so hard to get. If this is it, hope higher, ‘cause we’ll hide from the world and never make a….”

I feel like this is the best song to end the album with because I didn’t want it to end and I just kept it on loop for all its entirety because I liked each song.

I’ve already wrote a (lengthy) Instagram post about their well thought branding and packaging but I also want to commend them for the bomb line up and organized launch! Page Four Production reminded me so much of the first gigs of WAT UP and made me miss the team. From promotions to media exposures, to the materials! I look forward to attending gigs they’d come up with!

I won’t ask for more releases so soon because I want to savor this album and all its stories. I’ve already heard the Part I of Mr. Hyde and it’s Createurs’ gift to everyone who attended their launch so if you are curious, wait for the next album maybe it’d be included there.

This album will always have a special place in my heart. It’s definitely worth the long wait. Congrats, Createurs!

Listen to them on Spotify and follow them on their social media pages to be updated!

[rhondanicole]

Black Music Month: Artists and Albums that Matter to Me

June is #BlackMusicMonth, an annual celebration of African Americans’ innumerable contributions to the American–and global–musical landscape. Each day this month, I’m highlighting some of my favorite artists or albums.  

Day 2

Jill Jones, Jill Jones

Perhaps you know her as the mysterious woman decked out in fishnets and a police cap, playing keyboards with Lisa Coleman in the videos for “1999″ and “Automatic.” Perhaps you’ve distinguished her backing vocals on “The Dance Electric,” or in the hilarious Sophia and Saul skit at the end of the extended version of “Kiss.” You probably recall her most as the blond bombshell waitress in Purple Rain, who accepted the daunting task of handing Prince Wendy and Lisa’s tape that fateful day after rehearsal. For sure, you have seen and heard Jill Jones.

But let’s be clear. You haven’t truly heard Jill if you’ve yet to treat your ears to her eponymous debut album, which celebrated the 31st anniversary of its release on Paisley Park Records on May 28 of this year. 

The Ohio-born singer/songwriter began her musical journey under the tutelage of soul and R&B icon, Teena Marie. As Jill shared with me when I interviewed her in 2016 for the now-defunct SoulTrain.com, Teena was like an older sister, and she would often accompany her to the studio and, eventually, on tour. It was while out on tour with Teena in the early ‘80s that Jill met an up and coming rock star, some guy named Prince. The two became friends, and before long, creative collaborators. Jill was one of Prince’s earliest muses and musical co-conspirators, and while her voice appeared on hundreds of recordings--backing vocals for Prince, guide vocals for other artists, lead vocals for songs they’d write together, her likeness was often obscured in those earlier days. Prince fancied Jill as the Marilyn Monroe trope in the first incarnation of what would become The Revolution, and by the time Purple Rain premiered she was out from the shadows and into the spotlight.

Kinda.

As a seemingly perpetually unsung muse (Jill inspired the song “She’s Always in My Hair” and is the reason “When Doves Cry” has no bass line), the lovely Ms. Jones remained part of the extended Revolution family but was never officially a member. And maybe, that was best; after all, Jill and Prince had been working on her solo project for most of the years they’d been together. When her self-titled album finally saw the light of day in 1987, it couldn’t have been at a more interesting time in Prince’s universe. 

That year, in addition to his own double album Sign O’ the Times, Prince released two albums by Madhouse (8 and 16), Taja Sevelle’s album, as well as Jill’s. As impressively prolific as Paisley Park was then (and continued to be), it doesn’t appear that this rapid succession of releases benefitted any of the artists as much as anticipated, least of all Jill. Nevertheless, Jill Jones remains an absolute favorite amongst Prince fams, and for good reason.

With a voice that is rich and intoxicating, Jill sings, belts, and screams at heights bested only by, perhaps, the Purple Yoda himself. The exquisite Clare Fischer added lush orchestral instrumentation to the album, gifting songs like the opener, “Mia Bocca,” with a sound not commonly heard on Black radio. And while the album very much sounds like a Prince-produced project (Jill even covers his song “With You” from his 1979 self-titled sophomore release, and the Revolution-backed “All Day, All Nite,” in which she croons, “no woman will ever kiss you, in this lifetime or the next, the way you and I kiss tonight”), Jill’s approach to her music set her apart from other related artists. During a rare live performance in LA in 2017, Jill intimated that one of the album’s standouts, “Violet Blue,” came about after Prince allegedly swiped her diary. The album’s true masterpiece, though, is its final track, “Baby, You’re a Trip.” That same evening in Los Angeles, Jill shared that, when they began recording the song, Prince implored her to sing the gospel-inflected tag at the end with as much confidence and soul as she could muster. And then, because she’s the consummate badass, she delivered that infamous section a cappella, to absolute perfection. Saaaaaaang, Jill!

After reprising her role as Jill in 1990′s Graffiti Bridge, which afforded her a tad more screen time than Purple Rain (but still robbed her of her full spotlight, as Ingrid Chavez starred as Prince’s leading lady, Aura, and in Jill’s only musical number, her vocals were replaced by Elisa Fiorillo’s in post-production), Jill bid adieu to the paisley world. In our interview, she spoke of the struggles she experienced at first, wanting to, on the one hand, divorce herself from music and yet, knowing it was an integral part of her being. She toured briefly with Chic before stepping off stage for a time. She began a new career in marketing, raised her daughter (also an accomplished singer and songwriter), and in 2001, released her second solo album, Two. 

Jill’s third solo release, I AM, dropped in February 2016 on the Peace Biscuit label, just months before Prince’s passing. Jill memorialized her friend in early 2017 with the heartfelt “I Miss You.”

Jill Jones delivered a remarkably solid first effort that has withstood the test of time. It’s the kind of album you need in your collection, regardless as to whether your affinity for Prince is casual, borderline obsessive, or non-existent. In fact, you should just go ahead to cop all of Jill Jones’ music to be on the safe side. Thank me later.

--Rhonda Nicole

[canaryatlaw]

mmm. I have a lot of conflicting emotions about things right now. mostly nothing to actually do with today, just stuff that’s been floating around in my head and being exacerbated by not knowing what’s going to be my future. Like if it’s NY that’s going to be a whole new world I’ll have to adjust to, and even if I stay in Chi I have no idea what I’m going to do job wise. And everything being in flux like that just makes it so difficult to plan practically anything. And on top of that I just have so many messy emotions regarding friends and relationships and I’m trying to make sense of it all but my brain doesn’t work correctly because it’s actually depending on 3 different antidepressants to change the chemistry, so I can do more than literally just sleep all day like last summer. and antidepressants are great and I’m very thankful for them, but sometimes there are gaps, and things just don’t work right, or past experience makes you paranoid about certain behaviors and desperately trying to prevent the past from repeating itself while also trying very hard to not come off as clingy because I know that I can be very clingy and I really hate that. Trying to convince myself I’m not being purposefully excluded which I know in all rational thought I’m not, but my mind is not always rational and has such feelings anyway. Sigh. Anyway, that's enough rambling, I should actually talk about my day now. It was fine, pretty good. I woke at I want to say 10:22, and before I looked at the clock I thought it was much earlier than that, like 6 am but no it was later so I got up and had some breakfast, after which I got in the shower to continue the whole morning shower thing (and omg, my bangs looked so good all day, I’m so obsessed with them). My normal hair routine is to use shampoo every day, then every 3 days use the special color depositing conditioner I have, as recommended by my hair stylist to keep it from being oily, and it’s worked pretty well so far. I only brought the conditioner with me because shampoo is shampoo for the most part, and after I used the stuff they had here my hair had a very weird feeling to it, like hard and would like, make noises and shit if you pressed against it lol, so I took a very tiny amount of conditioner and worked it through my hair which seemed to help a lot. My mom, my uncle, and I ended up going to this giant mall not too far from them (my aunt was totally pooped from partying yesterday and just wanted to sleep). It was pretty cool, a really big place, so we mostly just walked around there for a bit and went in different stores. We got some lunch in the food court from a soup and salad place that I’m pretty sure has places in Chicago, I got the crab and corn chowder which was very good, there was a hint of spice but strangely enough it wasn’t the burn my tongue spice but more like I could just feel it in my mouth afterwards. Idk, it was weird. We took a look in Brookstone trying to find something for my dad being that father’s day is next weekend and his birthday is two days after that (both my mom and my dad have birthdays super close to mother’s day and father’s day respectively, which is very convenient tbh 😂) because he likes their kind of gadgets and such, but they didn’t really have much, just like, stuff for a grill, speakers, and a bunch of different massage centered products, so that was a bust. We ultimately ended up leaving without buying anything (which is honestly rather impressive) but we drove back and stopped at a Tim Horton’s on the way, because Michigan, I got a small white hot chocolate because of course I can’t have coffee, and we chilled out in there for a bit before going to the house. Upon arrival we all just chilled for a while, and eventually got around to the topic of dinner, there wasn’t much in way of options at the house since my aunt was down for the count, so we ended up getting chinese food that I ordered online and my uncle and mom went to go get. I’m finding that the term “lo mein” can have many different interpretations depending on where you are ordering it, because several times in Chicago I’ve had types that didn’t match the one I’m used to, and this was one of those as well. It was still pretty good though, and I ate rice and fortune cookies and all that good stuff. By the time we finished it was about 7:30, and we watched a little tv before switching over to the Tony Awards!!! Which I realize I did not liveblog on here at all lol, I had to make a decision if I wanted to live tweet it on my main internet peeps account or my IRL people’s account, and I ended up going with the latter because that’s where my actual theatre people were. Overall I thought it was pretty good, Josh Groban and Sara Bareilles were great hosts. This review is probably not going to be in chronological order of the show, just warning you now. When they honored the Parkland drama teacher for hiding SIXTY FIVE FUCKING CHILDREN in her office for two hours before the all clear was given, and of course she should be credited as many of the more outspoken student advocates from Parkland were in the drama program and credit it for giving them the means from which it express their opinions. man, I cried so damn much. And then they had them all sing, SING, ONSTAGE, AT THE TONYS, as high schoolers, man, that has got to be such a dream come true. The girl who had the Joanne solo towards the end of the song fucking KILLED IT, I was watching knowing she had the high note at the end and I’m just thinking please don’t crack please don’t crack and she didn’t, she fucking NAILED it in an incredible show of talent, like dude, that’s insane. So I enjoyed that part of it. It was interesting that Mean Girls performed so early on. I was wondering what song they were going to do, and I understand why they chose what they did as it featured most of the cast, but I also think it wasn’t the strongest song(s) in the show, so that wasn’t all that helpful. Taylor Louderman sounded either very nervous or sick, her voice was pretty shaky, but she pulled through. I fucking lost it at Karen, I knew just from listening to the OBCR that she was perfect for the role, and tonight just confirmed that, she was great. I wish my girl Janis got to do more (I had been thinking maybe they'd do Revenge Party) but at least she got in there. Other things, let’s see, I hadn't heard of The Band’s Visit until tonight, so I certainly wasn’t expecting them to largely sweep the awards, I guess the voters (or whoever determines the winners) were really feeling it. Not gonna lie, Hailey Kilgore from Once On This Island was fucking ROBBED for the leading actress Tony, she had a stellar performance and she totally deserved it. Loved their number as much as I did when I saw the show back in January. Frozen was interesting on a few different levels. I had been thinking about how they were going to split the musical into two acts, and how Let It Go might be too early in the story to make it the act one finale, but there’s no way in hell you’re going to get an act one finale that even holds a candle to it. So I looked it up and they ended up just making Let It Go their act one finale, probably a good choice. When I saw they were doing for the first time in forever I was like oh we’re gonna end up switching to Let It Go, they had to, so of course I was right and they did, and man, they nailed it so well. It was clear they had to get that scene exactly right if they wanted to be taken seriously as a show, and they managed to find an actress who can actually hit the notes on a level comparable to Idina Menzel, because if she didn't that’s all anyone would be talking about. But she fucking killed that song, made it her own, and even managed to hit an extra high note that was not in the movie score, I was really impressed and I might go see it honestly, I’m trying to think, I wasn't as engaged with the performances of shows I’m not terribly familiar with, Carousel had a great dance number but I didn’t get much else out of it. The Spongebob number was......something alright, I mean if nothing else he certainly did a great job embodying Squidward, so there’s that. I’m trying to think if I have anymore feedback but it’s 1 am here and my eyes really want to close so I’m gonna try to keep it short. The De Niro thing was fucking hilarious and I love that it happened. I am cautiously curious about the harry potter play, I know a lot of fans thought it was trash, but it did do fairly well awards wise so there might be some good in there. Alright, that’s the end of my day and that’s it for now, my eyes really want to be close so that is what I’m going to do. Goodnight my lovely friends, Good luck on your Monday.

[weneverlearn]

"Our kids were conceived to that one.”

Chewing the fat with Marshall Crenshaw about his 1983 classic, just reissued on Intervention Records

It’s not often you get one of your all time favorite albums from your dentist.

So I’m in 9th grade, and making back and forths in the parents’ station wagon to the dental school at Case Western Reserve University because my four top front teeth were all agog. (My mom figured it was because I’d fallen down the basement stairs when I was one and landed on my face.) Numerous visits that included poking, prodding, and endless numbing shots into the inside of the top jaw was no way to enter the high school years. But having a hep craw doc helped. 

Dr. Sasthma (”It’s like asthma, but with an S” -- funny guy) was his name, and between spit suction and implorations to floss more, we fit in fun music discussions. On the last visit right before the big pulling and twisting procedure, Sasthma sits me down and says, “This one today ain’t gonna be easy, but I’ve got a little prize for you afterwards.” And for the next hour and a half, I sat there with my mouth open (some would say that would not be out of the ordinary), while the doc poked around and made chin-scratching/brow-furrowing decisions, all while my jaw muscles started to atrophy.

Finally, when it was done, he reaches behind the giant dentist chair claw machine thing and pulls out Marshall Crenshaw’s debut album (Warner Bros., 1982). After I had regaled him with how much I liked “Someday, Someway” at the previous visit, he said he tracked down the album for me, though the shrink wrap had been peeled. “Well, I had to give it a listen, and yeah, it’s great!”

L-R: Robert Crenshaw, Marshall Crenshaw, Chris Donato - Photographer unknown

Not only did that little act make me much more tolerant of dentist visits going forward, it gave me one of my favorite albums. Crenshaw’s revived Buddy Holly-meets-nervous with opening pickup lines pop classicism was like a fresh, new toothbrush over all the dreary, dusty, classic rock of my Cleveland radio dial depression, until I took a sharp left into college radio that summer where I first heard Crenshaw, and a lot more. (Thanks WCSB, WRUW, and WUJC!) 

It’s hard to imagine today, hearing Crenshaw’s should-couldabeen power pop nuggets, but his clean looks and simple two-minute tunes made him a little too throwback odd for mainstream radio back then. Who knows or cares, as he still piled up an impressive major label canon before furthering into a long-running career of solid albums and consistent touring. The days of figuring out the whys and hows of mainstream radio play now seems about as useful as wondering how to get better reception on your TV.

Crenshaw’s sophomore album, Field Day (Warner Bros., 1983)? Maybe even better, filled with a slightly wider songwriting palette and production to match it. The term “sophomore album” never fit better for me, as it landed right around my sophomore year, and was a perfect companion on my journey into hook-heavy rock’n’roll obsession and mythical, sun-setting summer romance mythology/reality. 

So imagine my excitement when I got a press release about an impending reissue of Field Day. Despite it’s initial hefty, if brief, publicity push, Top 40-sniffing hit single (”Whenever You’re on My Mind”), and big time producer (Steve Lillywhite), the record didn’t (say it with me) “sell as much as hoped for.” And though Crenshaw did not fall into the usual “got dropped” holes (three more major label albums followed), Field Day did lag just a bit behind the CD explosion, having fallen out of print, and was never given a proper CD version for a few years. 

I only point this out because, goddamn it, it’s a perfect guitar pop record and is one of the best of that fleeting, early-80s moment where bright-eyed corners of the record industry hoped the world might once again embrace melancholy-flecked, otherwise blue-sky singalong songs. ‘Twas that “skinny tie” moment where loads of slacks-sporting Midwesterners parlayed punk’s energy into their pre-teen guitar lessons filled with Beatles covers. And in even that, Crenshaw did not exactly fit -- kind of the front tooth along my otherwise straight top row.

Upstart vinyl reissue label, Intervention Records -- who seem to have a knack for snaring ol’ major label titles from oblivion --  recently released a fine, vinyl-only edition of Field Day, including an extra 12″ EP of remix and live stuff, and different artwork.

I caught up with Crenshaw internet-wise to get his take on the new update of his old classic. 

If memory serves, I saw you play "High School" by the MC5 at an outdoor BBQ fest thing in downtown Cleveland in, like, 1985/6. Any memories of that, and did you cover that tune often? 

I remember that event in Cleveland, like a fried-chicken festival, right? I remember that we used "The Greasy Chicken,” by Andre Williams as walk-on music that day (and on other days). The MC5 song would've been "Tonight.” I never played "High School,” except with DKT-MC5 in 2004. I played "Tonight" a lot over the years. I grew up in the Detroit area, was a big MC5 fan. "Tonight" was sort of a local hit single, got played on CKLW. A band that I was in played it at an audition for a dance at our high school, and I can still picture a girl sitting in front of me watching me play and sing that song, really enthralled by what we were doing. That girl was Ione. She and I are still together.

You grew up in Detroit, right? When did you move, and what were some early influences from living in Detroit, music and otherwise?

I lived in the Detroit area from birth (1953) until 1977, grew up with Rock and Roll music all around me, fell in love with the music during childhood. Detroit was a big test market for records. There were lots of regional hits, on national and local labels. Two that immediately come to mind are, "When You Walk In the Room" by Jackie DeShannon, and "Mind Over Matter" by Nolan Strong and The Diablos -- both massive Detroit hits, both part of my musical DNA. As far as influences besides music go, I don't know where to start. That could turn into a book.

Though the only book Crenshaw has done so far was this excellent compendium of rock’n’roll movies; also, his musical knowledge goes deep. If you can do so, track down this amazing hillbilly compilation he put together in 1989.

Field Day, in title and cover art, was a reference to high school, I assume. But I remember some reviews saying that that record was a kind of more mature version of you -- bigger production, some more serious themes, etc. So what was your inspiration for the high school nod?

I had nothing whatsoever to do with creating the packaging for that record. When we finished recording, I went on vacation with Ione and Robert to visit Robert's girlfriend at the time. She was working on location outside Prague on the movie Amadeus (which I've still never seen. I should see it, I saw it being made). And when I got back, the album cover had been put together by my then-manager. His father co-owned a big company that published magazines. My manager had worked for that company for a minute, and thought that the presentation of images was something that he knew something about. I hated the album’s front cover, got talked into approving it. OOPS! I don't think Warners was pleased that instead of using their art department, he'd hired an expensive design firm to create such a dodgy end-product. He came up with the title; I do like the title, didn't think of high school when he suggested it. "Having a field day" is just a figure of speech, doesn't refer to high school, necessarily. It just means "having a great time,” and indeed we really had a great time making the album.

It said the art for this reissue is how you originally intended. 

I wanted to change the front cover for the reissue, was extremely happy that Intervention Records was into the idea. The only thing that made sense was to use some pre-existing artwork from the time period, namely the front of the picture sleeve for the "Whenever You're On My Mind” 7″.

I just loved Field Day when it came out. I am sure you are more than aware of the "debates" over the production -- which to me made total sense for those songs and that point of your career. What is your take on what you asked of Steve Lillywhite, and how you felt it turned out, back then?

I'm really glad that you like it. I know that the album was "controversial" in the day. I think that all the criticism it got back then was completely lame. When I listened to the first playback of the finished mixes, I had my feet up on the edge of the console; I thought, “This is an album that can kick the world's ass.” We all loved working with Steve. He was the only producer that I talked to going in, my first choice. He said yes right away, and that was that.

I'll assume you were involved in this reissue. What were your thoughts on revisiting it?

I heard about the reissue project after it was already underway, and was just delighted about it. I'd even say that I felt a sense of gratitude that somebody wanted to honor the album, which is what Intervention has done. As a career experience, "Field Day" was an instance where the party-train just ran right into the ditch. I loved the album, didn't get why some people were perplexed by it. I got the test pressing from Intervention and was knocked out. It's just a unique and beautiful Rock and Roll record, if you ask me. And the people at Intervention love it as much as I do.

Your’s truly probably bugging Crenshaw about the MC5 again, post-back alley gig, August, 2012, NYC

Any good stories during the recording of Field Day? In-studio disputes, after-session shenanigans, anything like that?

I don't remember any disputes until after the record was done -- then the shit-storm began. We had nothing but fun while doing it, and there was a festive atmosphere at the sessions. They were all at night, and afterwards we'd go out. I remember going one night to the Roxy Roller Rink disco on the West Side with Steve and a couple of the other guys. This was when hip-hop was first starting to come downtown. When we finally got out of there it was broad daylight. "Monday Morning Rock" was partly inspired by that night...

"Whenever You're on My Mind" was a demo for awhile before it appeared on Field Day, right? How come it didn't make it onto the debut?

I wrote that one before I wrote most of the songs on my first album. When I did the first album I wanted to do all the newer ones first. I'm always most excited about whatever the new thing is. But then, going into "Field Day," I was really glad to have "Whenever" in reserve. And I'm glad that it got recorded when it did, under those circumstances.

The instrumental of "Blues is King" from that era is one of my favorite instrumentals, and just has one of those, maybe accidental, gorgeous, simple demo production vibes. Was that originally an instrumental and you decided to add lyrics later, or what?

I did that instrumental version after I'd written the music; the lyrics didn't happen until a few months later. I do like it as just a piece of instrumental music. And those are Mosrite guitars, which I love the sound of.

Field Day standout, "Our Town" -- when you made Field Day, I believe you'd been living in NYC for awhile. Did you pine to get on a train back to Detroit sometimes? What were the bad and good things about trying to get your music career going in NYC in the very early 1980s?

I never pined to get back to Detroit (although I like visiting there now). That song was written about New York. I'd been on the road for most of a year when I wrote it. I did take a train to Detroit once, from NYC. It was during the last days when Michigan Central Station was still being used by Amtrak. I'd never seen the station during it's heyday, but when I got there it looked not that different than what it looks like now, like an absolute wreck. I still remember the look on my mother's face standing there waiting for me. She looked like she felt ashamed, and like, "You had to take the train and make me go through this, right?" Getting my music career going in NYC in the early '80s was a blast. The scene embraced us right away. It was like dying and going to heaven. 

Did you find yourself attracted to the CBGB scene at the time? 

Yes, we played CBGB many times. I think we even held an attendance record there for a minute, or maybe I dreamt that. But our last couple shows there were mob scenes. I really had my ears and mind open in all different directions during those years in New York, and I can't overstate how much I loved the NY scene then, with all it's diversity, innovation, etc. I'm still proud to have been part of it. And I'm including NY radio in this declaration. I had lots of great go-to stations like WBLS and WKTU ("urban"), WLIB (Caribbean music), WFMU (free-form), WKCR (Jazz), WNYU, with "The Afternoon Show,” and the "Wavebreaker" countdown on Fridays, WNEW ('cause they played us). On and on...

There were a ton of "skinny tie" power pop bands around in the very early '80s too, many from the Midwest. Did you play with the Shoes, Knack, Romantics, Plimsouls, etc.? Were there ones that stuck out for you? I feel like you weren't roped into that signing frenzy trend though.

I played with The Plimsouls in NY once. I loved them, became friends with Peter [Case] back then. But one of my fears in those days was that anybody might lump us in with that Anglophile “skinny tie” thing. I hated most of it, not all of it. I didn't like The Knack, didn't identify with what they were doing, didn't want anybody to identify us with what they were doing. I feel bad saying so, but I'm answering your question. Again, we came out of the NY club scene which was really diverse and eclectic. I wanted our stuff to reflect that as best I could. Another one of my fears, since we took off so fast in NY, was that somebody might tag us as the "Next Big Thing,” and unfortunately that did happen. I had a real sense of doom when I read all that stuff about my first album in Rolling Stone.

Oh, also, we were never part of any signing frenzy. We got our record deal by packing out every NY club we played at, getting our stuff on "mainstream" FM rock radio when they never played local bands on indie labels. We earned it the way you did back then.

"What Time Is It?" -- how did you decide on that cover? I assume you were a big doo wop fan. Once you got to NYC, did you get to play with or meet any old doo wop favorites?

I don't think that happened, but now I wish that it had. It would've been great to meet Randy and The Rainbows, for instance. "Denise" is one of those records that gets me every time. Or Eugene Pitt of The Jive Five. It's too bad I never met him, even after I covered their tune (actually a Feldman-Goldstein-Gottehrer tune, but anyway).

Can you tell me about the making of the "Whenever You're on My Mind" video? Were you one of those who was suspicious of videos back then?

Hahahahaha! By the time we did that one I was really enthusiastic about videos, wanted us to get on that bandwagon. It seemed like most of my favorite ones were British, so we went over there and found a British director. I'm laughing thinking about it now. We tried.

Finally, where would you rank Field Day in your catalog? 

I was really on my game just then. It was some kind of a pinnacle, as far as that moment in my life goes. And it seems to be my most beloved album. People tell me all kinds of things about it, like, "Our kids were conceived to that one.”